#its been three days its still not done im in hell anyway

[iamalivenow]

yeah bro it's a character study. the 2 thousand words of blowjob is vital to the study of the character

[dootdootwriting]

HIHIHI IDK IF URE STILL TAKIJG REQUEST BUT IF U ARE, ATUSHI,DAZAI AND RANPO MAKING READER CRY? (gender neutral or fem is great if that’s okayyy) TAKE CARE 😘💞💓 make sure ure eating drinking sleeping and all that jazz 🫶🫶

featuring: atsushi; dazai; ranpo (separately tw: mild descriptions of violence/injury in atsushi's part, crying, dazai typical suicide jokes/discussion of them in his part, "angel" as a pet name, swearing (from me) type: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort pronouns used: none (no use of "belladonna") (dazai flirts with another woman but god dammit that man is BISEXUAL. reader is gn) a/n: YIPPEEE THREE OF MY BEST BOYS!! and tysm im actually coming down with some kindof sickness my dad has covid so i hope its. not that LMAO but thank you <333 i'm going to bed after i write this!

under the cut for length <3 i may have gotten a LITTLE carried away with dazai DHAGHDG

ATSUSHI

is it even possible for this dude to make you cry, genuinely? he's such a caring boyfriend that he second guesses just about everything he says in case it could somehow offend you

it's partially adorable and partially annoying

so, him hurting you is pretty much out of the question. so how the hell does this sweetheart end up making you cry??

by getting hurt

he gets beaten within an inch of his life in yet another accidental run-in with akutagawa, and you have to drag him out of that situation as fast as you can, carrying him all the way to the ada

kunikida opens the door, notices your tear-stained face first and then atsushi's limp body flung over your shoulder, and calls for yosano immediately. she arrives in under three seconds, scooping him up and rushing him to her infirmary.

and now, all you can do is wait

hours after the incident, after yosano informs everyone that he'll most likely pull through, you try to get some work done. but with your boyfriend having just nearly been killed, it's pretty much impossible.

ranpo is so worried about how distressed you look that he offers you a pocky stick. you accept it and eat it, but it doesn't taste like anything.

your thanks is half-hearted.

you're sitting there in front of your google doc, eyes tired and red from sobbing earlier. there are three words written on what's supposed to be an incident report. kunikida sighs, pats you on the back, and takes your laptop away from you, telling you he'll take care of it.

that's when yosano gently re-enters the main room, calling you over

atsushi is sitting upright in bed, eyes misty. as soon as he sees you, he tries to sit up even more. yosano snaps at him.

the thing you want to do more than anything is jump into his arms and cry into his chest, but you don't want to risk hurting him even more. so, instead, you opt to gently sit on the edge of his bed and wrap your arms around him.

both of you start crying again, and atsushi promises he'll be more careful next time.

DAZAI

oh good lord . what did he do this time

jokingly flirting with yet another woman and asking if she'll do a double suicide with him again? yeah, that'll do it.

as always, his newest mark turns him down, skittering away as quickly as possible. you don't blame her.

"how come you keep asking people to commit suicide with you?"

"hm?" he doesn't seem to understand, flashing you that head-empty smile. he's completely enamored with you, you can tell, but then... why is he still up to his stupid habits?

"i mean, you're with me now. are you still really looking for someone to die with you?"

"well, you keep saying no, so what am i supposed to do~?"

it's a joke, you can tell. it's always a joke, except when it isn't, and with dazai, really, who can tell?

you don't want him to run off and end his life with some lady he met fifteen minutes ago. and they all reject him anyway, but what if, one day, one of them doesn't? would he be caught off guard and admit he was teasing? or would he not even miss a beat and actually go through with it?

the thought of him just leaving you without warning is so distressing, your eyes start to tear up. you thought you were done with this.

immediately, dazai notices. his eyebrows furrow and his expression immediately sobers.

"hey, angel, what's wrong?"

through tears, you have to explain everything to him. how much he means to you, and how little you feel that it seems that he could throw you and the rest of his life away at the drop of a hat. how you can never tell if he's joking, if he means it, if he's teasing. how much you just want him to stay with you and never leave.

he's taken aback. for a fraction of a second, dazai's eyes widen and he's left at a complete loss for words.

of course, as always, he regains his composure almost immediately, pulling you in as close as he can to his chest and rubbing circles into your back.

"i thought you knew you meant too much to me for me to do that," he murmurs, his voice as low and soothing as he can muster. "i'm so sorry, i didn't realize how much this was bothering you. i won't do it anymore, i promise. and you never have to worry about me leaving you like that. i can't just throw all this away! you're everything."

and he holds you like that for as long as you need before taking you back home.

RANPO

this man and his fucking candy i swear to god

it's always a bargain with him. you want a kiss? okay, but you owe him a lollipop. hugs? while he's working? you'd better have a cookie ready.

honestly, it's almost as if he's doing it just for you. like he doesn't love the affection just as much as you do, if not even more

ranpo enters every request of him with the mindset of it being a trade. instead of both of you receiving a kiss, it's your request, so he deserves something in return.

it's stupid is what it is (in a complete contrast to ranpo himself)

"i'm not giving you a lollipop, ranpo. you either get a hug, or you don't."

"fine, i guess i don't then. suit yourself." he spins his chair back around and gets back to typing, making a point of only using his index fingers to go as slowly as possible

"this is stupid, ranpo."

he swivels back around, his eyes open and giving you one of the most piercing expressions you've seen from him thus far.

"stupid? it's not stupid, it's just the way i do things. if you want a hug so bad, go to kunikida for all i care. besides, you should know better. if my own way sounds stupid to you, that means you're the dumb one. i'm just taking advantage of an opportunity; nobody said you had to get all fussy about it. just get back to work and leave me alone."

it stings! i mean, this is your boyfriend, who, despite being selfish at times, is usually one of the sweetest and most caring people you've met. just because of a lollipop? and you're the stupid one?

you feel like crying.

oh. you are crying?

you hadn't even noticed, and you weren't even sure why - this type of thing was usually something you should be able to suck up and give ranpo the silent treatment about.

but you're crying?

ranpo notices from the corner of his eye, and immediately feels insanely guilty

so of course he makes a show out of it.

"wait! there's something wrong! something doesn't add up!"

he stands up on his chair, procuring his glasses from his pocket and flashily but delicately placing them on his face.

"my lovely partner is crying! which can only mean one thing. it seems... in this singular, incredibly improbable situation... i, the world's greatest detective.... am wrong!"

he drops back down to sit cross legged on his chair again, puting his glasses back into his pocket.

"i'm really sorry, i didn't think this would upset you so much. i'll give you as many hugs as you want from now on."

[flowerui]

♫ three little words (dedicate them to me), cyj

fluff, 4.8k words ୨୧ oh my god they were roommates :0 sorry to any academic weapons reading, im projecting a bit as an academic failure lol

wherein it only takes you about twenty-nine years to realize you're in love with your best friend... at least you got there!

꒰ requested. gender neutral reader (no pronouns or gendered terms used), reader is younger, unspecified age difference (but its implied that theyre very close in age), childhood friends to lovers, nonidol au, roommates, idiots in love, time skips, aging up, alcohol/drinking, a bit dialogue heavy, vomit is mentioned a few times, friend group ot4 ꒱

It’s hard to recall a time without Yeonjun; he appeared one day and stuck to you, almost as if he were a stubborn thorn in your side (said endearingly, of course).

It must’ve been when you were still in kindergarten—right, Yeonjun and his parents had moved in next door, and your moms both became friends and arranged a play date. Yeonjun had brought his PlayStation over and let you play it with him, so, obviously, to five-year-old you, that made the two of you best friends right away.

“Are you almost done?” Yeonjun bemoans from your bedroom floor, urging you to look up from your piles of textbooks and worksheets finally.

“No, I told you I needed to study and that you should go to your own house, you bum. Just ‘cause you don’t give a shit about your education doesn't mean I don’t.”

“You almost flunked last year. And you’re only studying because your mom saw you got a three out of a hundred on your algebra test,” Yeonjun deadpans, “how do you even score that bad?” Ugh, lucky, naturally academically gifted asshole. You roll your eyes and toss a pencil at his stupid face.

“Whatever,” you grumble, it’s not your fault you can’t be an academic weapon, and that school is whooping your ass instead with academics as a weapon. “I feel like my brain is about to start leaking out of my ears anyway, wanna go to yours?”

Yeonjun grins, sitting up from your floor with a start, finally regaining some of his earlier excitement before he had to wait nearly four hours (all of which were spent pestering you) while you attempted to study. “I ditched school yesterday to get a copy of Resident Evil 4 from GameStop.”

“What the hell—and you didn’t invite me?” you whine, “That’s cold, you better let me try it first.”

It’s hours later into the evening when you’re watching Yeonjun attempt to get through the wretched cabin section that you died approximately… thirteen times trying to get through, that he says, “You remember that guy, Taehyun, right? In my AP History class.”

“Mhm,” you hum, blinking your bleary eyes at Yeonjun’s TV screen from your very comfortable spot on his couch.

“He doesn’t usually talk a whole lot to me, but today, I couldn’t get him to shut up,” Yeonjun huffs a laugh as he maneuvers the character, Leon, up the stairs on screen, seemingly making it farther than you could. “He was complaining though, ‘cause he was partnered with this person who was into me. He couldn’t get any work done, they were just bugging him about me.”

You tear your focus from the TV to look at the side of Yeonjun’s face, you can see part of his furrowed brow and pursed lips. “Oh.”

It doesn’t surprise you that a lot of people seem to be interested in Yeonjun at school. In middle school, people started coming up to you, asking if you’d put in a good word for them with Yeonjun, because they ‘like-liked’ him, and you were his best friend. Then, it was at the end of eighth grade that you started telling those people to grow a pair and talk to him themselves.

You suppose you kind of understand. Yeonjun’s nice when he’s not being a little shit… and he’s not horrible to look at, one might even say he’s good-looking.

“Are you into them?” The question seems to roll off your tongue easily, but you’re not even sure why you asked, you don’t think you want to know. For some reason, thinking about it churns your stomach a bit.

“...No, I mean, they’re pretty, but,” Yeonjun sighs, tossing his controller to the side as he dies a second time. “they seem kinda… much. I dunno, Taehyun said they literally wouldn’t talk to him about anything besides me the entire class. It kinda weirded me out.”

“Hm, yeah.” You hum, a weird feeling of… relief washing over you. Yeonjun’s mom comes in to ask if you’re staying for dinner before you can think about it too hard.

Later that night, when you’re stuck staring blankly at your ceiling, you decide you were just relieved that Yeonjun wasn’t going to end up with some overly possessive weirdo. It’d suck to lose your best friend that way.

“Please do not throw up, because if you throw up, then I’m gonna throw up.”

“I’m not gonna throw up,” Yeonjun insists, but it doesn’t sound all too credible with the way he slurs his words, maybe you’ve also had too much to drink, but you swear he looks a little green. “I… am perfectly fine, thank you very much.”

“Uhuh.”

“Don’t ‘uhuh’ me,” Yeonjun grumbles with an attempted glare, you find that you can’t take him all too seriously, though; the flush on his cheeks, his inability to keep his eyes open for more than five seconds, and his perpetual pout make it all too difficult. “Oh, I—I think I’m gonna hurl.” He braces himself against the bar, eyes suddenly more awake.

That would be the reason you end up in a grimy bathroom on your twenty-first, making sure your best friend’s hair is out of the way as he empties the contents of his stomach into a toilet bowl.

“Why’d you drink so much, you know you’re a lightweight.” You ask when Yeonjun seems to be done, frowning as you wipe off his mouth with a paper towel.

“Am not,” he protests petulantly. “I was just—I just felt like it ‘cause I thought it’d make me feel better ‘nd I could stop thinking about other shit.”

“Did something happen?”

“...I stopped seeing that person I told you about.”

“Why? I thought it was going well?” ‘Well’ might be a bit of an overstatement. Like most of Yeonjun’s partners, you didn’t hear a whole lot about this new one, met them once for a brief moment, then didn’t hear of them again. It seems to be a common theme in Yeonjun’s relationships—his fleeting interest, you haven’t figured out if you should say anything about it.

“It was just, um. ‘M not over someone…. I didn’t feel right staying in a relationship knowing I’m still not over someone else.”

Oddly enough, that felt rather sobering to hear. You hum, stomach feeling a little off—you hope you aren’t going to throw up next… “You haven’t told me about that, wanna talk about it? It might feel better than drinking too much and throwing up in a disgusting bathroom. Don’t quote me on that, though.”

Yeonjun blinks slowly, then chuckles, “I’ll tell you about it some other time, I just really want to be in bed right now.”

Instead of getting an Uber or something, you trudge down the sidewalk with a clingier-than-usual Yeonjun, who barely manages to walk in a straight line. You internally celebrate when your apartment building comes into view; one of you seriously needs to get a car.

You have to convince Yeonjun to shower before you, almost like a petulant child. 

And apparently, wanting to be in bed means taking up most of your mattress and hogging your blankets for the night, because when you finish showering, you return to your room to find your bed occupied. You could just steal Yeonjun’s bed for the night… but you end up just crawling into bed beside him, listlessly trying to reclaim your covers.

He never ended up telling you about this mystery person he’s not over.

“I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” You sigh.

“But why? I thought things between us were going great, I—”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t see this relationship progressing any further.”

“But, I—I told my mom about you! You can’t leave me, I love you!”

“Ugh, you asshole,” you cry out as Yeonjun pretends to cry hysterically and shakes you by your shoulders, “You’re supposed to be taking this seriously and helping me!”

Yeonjun cackles as you shove him away, “I mean he could react like that, couldn’t he?” Then, he sighs and places his hands on your shoulders—not shaking you this time. “Okay, seriously, it’s going to be fine, you’ll be in a public space, so worst case scenario, he embarrasses himself.”

“You’re right… ugh, I’m gonna be late.”

“You’re the one who wanted to rehearse the conversation again.”

Before sending you off, Yeonjun smushes your face, cooing, “Okay, go dump your boyfriend, my duckling, I’ll be waiting here with takeout and beer.”

“You are a grown-ass man.” You deadpan before you’re finally off.

It’s been a good few months since you started seeing this new guy—his name’s Mark, you realized you liked him enough to make things more official after several good dates. But, you’ve already been considering breaking things off with him for a while now; you seem to have this recurring issue when it comes to relationships… You just can’t seem to envision a future that includes your partner, even when it’s going well you ultimately lose interest.

Mark seems like a good guy, too, which makes you feel worse, but it’d be even worse to just lead him on, right? That’s what you continue reminding yourself as you trudge into a nice café that will be tainted by the memory of you dumping a nice guy for the rest of your life. You’ll never be able to enjoy the sweet treats of ‘Arcadia’ ever again.

“Hey, there you are,” Mark smiles as you take the seat across from him.

“Yeah, uh, sorry, I had to help my roommate out.” A fib, even though your mother tells you honesty is the best policy. Well, she lied about Santa and the tooth fairy; besides, your fib sounds nicer than ‘I was rehearsing how to break up with you with my best friend’.

“No worries.”

“Um,” it’s better to just get it over with, you remind yourself, just rip the bandaid off, “so, I wanted to talk to you.”

“Uh oh, that doesn’t sound too good,” Mark chuckles, then clears his throat and continues when you don’t laugh, “What’s up?”

With a deep breath, you let it spill out all at once, “I don’t think this is going to work out, I just don’t see us—this relationship going any further. I’m sorry and I hope you can understand.” Okay, that wasn’t too scary, if you’re ignoring your shaky, clammy palms against your knees.

Mark nods, then looks down at his lap, then back at you, “I guess I should’ve seen it coming, I mean, I’ve seen the way you and your roommate look at each other.”

“Uh… you what?”

“You don’t have to play dumb about it, it’s obvious the both of you are in love. Guess I just liked you so much I hoped I could change your mind.” Mark sighs, “I think I’m gonna… go, sorry.” He says, then leaves you to spiral.

‘Obvious the both of you are in love’? You and Yeonjun? That’s ridiculous, right?

Leaving what was once your favorite café in a daze, you’re suddenly glad that you’d decided to walk instead of drive; you barely register entering your apartment complex, and unlocking your door.

“Hey,” Yeonjun is on the couch, takeout and a pack of beer spread on the coffee table as promised, “how’d it go?”

“It went fine,” you say with a smile that doesn’t quite make its way to your eyes, “he took it as well as he could have.” It’s weird, that you don’t just word vomit out every small detail, like you tend to with Yeonjun. But somehow, something about divulging everything feels weirder, so in a rare twist of events, you keep quiet.

Seemingly taking the hint that that’s going to be all you say for the time being, Yeonjun changes the topic, “Go change so we can eat, the new episode of The Vampire Diaries is literally about to start in like two seconds.”

“What the hell! I didn’t think I was gone for that long!” You shriek and make a run for it to your room to change out of your outside clothes.

Yeonjun snorts when you return, plopping onto the couch while trying to catch your breath. “I lied, there’s still like half an hour.”

“You’re such an asshole,” you hiss, and pummel him with the nearest throw pillow.

“I’m starting to think I’m gonna end up alone,” with a grunt, you tug your blanket up higher, “why’re we both so bad at relationships?”

“Rude,” Yeonjun flicks your forehead, and if you weren’t so cozy, full of food, and three cans of beer drunker, you might’ve sat up to take your revenge. But alas, moving even a mere inch feels like a herculean effort.

“You’re rude,” you stick your tongue out at him childishly. “Y’know I didn’t mean it like that, though, right?”

“I know.”

“Mm. Maybe…” You focus your bleary eyes on Yeonjun’s face above you. Even from this unfortunate angle, from where your head rests on his lap, he looks so… “If we’re not… If we’re still single by the time we’re thirty-four, I think we should just marry each other.”

Yeonjun laughs, “Okay, I think it’s bedtime, don’t you have work in the morning?”

If you hadn’t fallen asleep right then, you might’ve clapped back with a witty response, or you might’ve sat up, and looked at Yeonjun dead in the eyes and told him that you were serious.

“No, Mom, I am still not in a relationship,” you pause, then sigh, “Yes, I know I’m not getting any younger. And, no, I’m not gonna—wait, what?”

“You heard me, I asked when you’re going to give in and just marry Yeonjun. I like him, he’d be a nice son-in-law, he practically already is at this point!”

Only mothers would have the audacity. You have to pull your phone away from your ear to stare at the outgoing call screen in astonishment. “What… are you talking about?” You ask when you bring your phone back to your ear.

“Oh, c’mon. You’ve been living together since you were what, nineteen? Neither of you dates anymore, you spend all your free time together…You may as well get hitched at this point, instead of denying your poor mother the opportunity of watching her child get married any longer.”

You perk up at the call of your name, seeing two of your coworkers rush over, “Hey—random question—how early do you think is too early to get engaged? Lia’s only been with her partner for like three months, and they’re already engaged! You’ve been with your boyfriend for years, right? And neither of you has proposed?”

“Uh? My… boyfriend?”

“Yeah? Your boyfriend, his name’s Yeonjun, right?”

“Oh, he’s not my… He’s just my best friend.” You’re not sure what’s more embarrassing, the fact that all this time, it seemed like you and Yeonjun were dating, or having to tell two of your coworkers that you are actually painfully single. It doesn’t make it any better that the majority of your coworkers, while nice, are known for gossiping—all mostly harmless.

You expect your mother to make you feel bad about your relationship status (out of love), but not your coworkers.

“It’s weird, lately, I’ve realized that people think me and Yeonjun are together…? My mom even told me to just go and marry him, like?”

“Oh, you poor sweet summer child…”

“Have you still seriously not realized?” Taehyun pipes up beside Kai who regards you with a pitiful look. What’s up with everyone lately? You’re starting to feel like you’re the only one missing something.

“Realized what?”

“Oh, you’re hopeless.” Taehyun laments, looking as if he’s about ready to tear his hair out or reach across the dining table to knock some sense into you.

Ideally, you’d like to think you’re not at all oblivious. But, after many strange occurrences, you can’t help but consider: that you’ve never properly thought of Yeonjun that way—in a romantic sense. He’s always just been Yeonjun; the only person who you know for a fact you can trust with anything, and the only person who will stick with you despite all of your bullshit, like a stubborn thorn you can’t seem to be rid of (not that that’s an issue). He’s your everything, really.

When you imagine your future, you always see him fit in there somehow—but it occurs to you that as someone who’s never had a complete interest in marriage, or any romantic relationships for a long time for that matter, you could imagine walking down the aisle with Yeonjun, and more. Not only that, but you like imagining it.

Oh.

How dense can one be to fail to realize they’ve been in love with their best friend all this time? After nearly three decades of friendship, it’s seriously taken you this long to get to this conclusion? All those failed relationships you tried so hard to make work, it was all for nothing, because you couldn’t realize what you felt for what you already had! So much time wasted…

“Are you feeling okay?” Yeonjun apparates beside you, a palm carefully tracing circles over your upper back.

You feel bad for how you jolt away from him, seeing the surprise and mild hurt pass over his features in a split second. If you didn’t know Yeonjun like the back of your hand, you might’ve missed it. “...Sorry, I dunno—I’ve been kind of out of it lately, I think I just need to relax.”

“You haven’t been overworking yourself again, have you?”

“No…”

Yeonjun gives you a look as though he doesn’t quite believe you, but drops it. This time, you don’t jump away like frightened prey when he touches you—wraps around your side. “Let’s watch something tonight? I’ve been hearing about this new Kdrama called ‘My Demon’.”

“That sounds straight out of Wattpad… I’ll order the food.”

“Happy birthday,” Yeonjun sings as he saunters into your bedroom at… way too early in the morning. But all’s forgiven with the realization he comes bearing gifts—food. “What’s that, thirty-four punches I’m gonna have to give you, now? Fuck, you’re old,” he says as he sets down a delectable-looking plate of your favorite breakfast on your nightstand.

“Shut up, you’re older than me.” You narrow your eyes, sitting up to reach for your birthday breakfast.

“And if you punch me thirty-four times, you will not live to see another day, Choi.”

Getting older has meant that your birthdays have become a lot less eventful, but you haven’t quite minded it. They’re spent with your favorite person, anyway, so no complaints on your end.

Yet, somehow, you end up on a beach on the night of your birthday, sitting on a beach towel Yeonjun had neatly spread out and admiring the night sky. You’d had a simple plan to laze around at home all day, eat something good for dinner, drink a little more than you should, and then sleep like the dead. However, Yeonjun had other plans when he’d announced the night before that he was taking you on a day trip the next morning. ‘It’s only a six-hour drive’, he’d said, because he’s insane.

You suppose you had a little more to your original plan… you guess you also intended to profess your newly realized love for your best friend, and potentially ruin about twenty-nine years of friendship if things happened to go wayward. Well, you still intend on getting that over with.

“Happy birthday,” Yeonjun says once more, as he returns from the car with an unopened bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Huh, you guess that’s why he took so long to grab something to drink from the ‘cooler’, actually... do either of you even own a cooler? “Better appreciate this wine, it was pricey.”

“I distinctly recall telling you not to spend much on me this year,” you sigh, but you’re staring down the bottle, “and you already arranged this impromptu trip.”

“Well, I wanted to, it’s not every day you turn thirty-four.” Yeonjun doesn’t add anything else, as he hands you the bottle of wine; you decide not to call out how he can’t meet your eyes properly.

Cabernet Sauvignon 1999, the bottle reads. You don’t know much about wine—you’re not that old yet—just that it usually tastes good. “Is it good? I don’t think I’ve tried Cabernet Sauvignon, have I?”

“You haven’t, I think you’ll like it. It would’ve gone well with dinner.”

You hum, taking a corkscrew handed to you, as Yeonjun takes a seat beside you.

A couple of glasses later, you blurt, “Thanks. For this—the trip, dinner. And the wine. I like it a lot.” It’s not quite what you’d meant to say, in such a stilted manner. You guess you need a little more liquid courage, as you pour yourself another glass.

“I can tell, that’s like your third glass.”

“Shut up,” you grumble, as Yeonjun snorts into his glass. Cheeks warming, you start internally motivating yourself—if being alive for thirty-four years has taught you anything, it’s that everything’s worth a shot. You miss a hundred of the shots you don’t take… or whatever the saying is. “Do you remember that time I said we should just marry each other if we’re still single by thirty-four?”

After a pause, Yeonjun raises a brow, “Yes?”

“I’m surprised you remember that, considering you passed out right after… Are you saying we should get married, then?” Something passes over his features before he turns to you, and laughs something that isn’t exactly humorous, “I think that might be enough wine for you.”

“I’ve only had two glasses.”

“Two-and-a-half,” you correct after glancing down at your half-full glass. “I’m not drunk, maybe a teensy bit tipsy, but—fuck, that’s not the point.”

“What is the point you’re trying to make then? Yeonjun laughs, it almost looks like that familiar glint has returned to his eyes. You’d appreciate it if you weren’t about to implode.

“I, uh,” you clear your throat. Yeonjun continues to regard you with amusement; you vaguely wonder if he’ll still be amused once you manage to get the words—your confession out, or if you’ll go and ruin everything because of some stupid feelings. “Fuck, this is kinda difficult.”

“Okay, um,” maintaining eye contact is a test of your mental strength, which is why you avert your gaze even though you’ve turned to face Yeonjun, as you utter your next sentence, “So, it’s taken me an embarrassingly long time to realize that I’ve, uh, sort of, kind of been in love with you for probably forever. No, I—”

“I’m in love with you,” you rephrase more confidently, yet you end up shrinking in on yourself when the only response you receive is Yeonjun blinking blankly at you. “So, um, you could say something… right about now. Like, you hate me and are kicking me out? Well, ideally, you could say that you feel the same and—”

“Breathe,” Yeonjun reaches over to squeeze your clammy hand. Taking a breath as instructed, you realize you have not been breathing properly since you began speaking. “I was just—you’re being serious? You aren’t just drunk, and you aren’t fucking with me?”

“Two-and-a-half glasses, I’m tipsy at worst,” you reiterate, “and I’m not fucking with you either.”

“Oh.” Yeonjun breathes, which does nothing to assuage the anxiety that feels like it might have colored your face pallid, as it incessantly knocks against your ribcage.

“Oh? C’mon man, I just confessed my love to you, give me a little more than ‘Oh’, I’m nervous as shit right now.”

“Sorry, I was just…” Yeonjun laughs, the asshole laughs. “We really are best friends, huh? I spent all week trying to figure out how to make your birthday special, and confess my love to you at the end of the night. And here you are, beating me to it.”

“You… oh.”

“C’mon man, give me a little more than ‘Oh’, I just told you your love is reciprocated,” Yeonjun laughs as he repeats your previous words, teasing, “I’m nervous as shit, too.”

So, you down the rest of your glass before setting it aside and scooting too close for comfort, and ask, “Can I kiss you?” Because if thirty-four years of life has taught you anything, it’s to not waste any more time.

“Uh… yes.” Yeonjun’s widened eyes dart from both of your eyes, to your lips, and back.

And, so, you close the distance to kiss him. 

Maybe it’s not magical, maybe you don’t feel any supposed sparks or fireworks. But it feels right, like it’s meant to be as you cup Yeonjun’s cheek and shift to curl your hand around his nape. It feels like caressing the petals of a burgundy rose.

(“Have you just always known you loved me? Even when I threw up on you the first time we got drunk?” You ask, a few hours, and a couple more glasses of wine later.

“Ew, but yes, I knew I loved you even then.”

“...Huh. Would you still love me if a witch cursed me and I turned into a worm tomorrow?”

Yeonjun snorts, “A worm?” then he hums in thought, “I would buy the biggest terrarium, and the nicest dirt I can find, and take care of you. I’d find the witch and make her turn you back into a lovely human, too.”

“Good answer,” you smile, leaning over to kiss Yeonjun again, he tastes a little like remnants of Cabernet Sauvignon, deep and red, urging you to kiss him a little deeper. “I love you,” you whisper against his lips when you part.)

Upon thinking about it, not much changes between you and Yeonjun; apart from the kissing, consistently sharing a bed, sober I love you’s, and the other ‘unnecessary PDA’, as Taehyun so kindly put it, while Soobin had fixed the two of you with a disgusted look (you know that deep down somewhere, he’s happy for you both), and Beomgyu shot a thumbs up before going back to hogging the cookies Soobin baked—Kai was more focused on trying to steal some cookies, which he managed.

Your mother had practically wept out of joy when you told her the news, ‘I’m going to see my baby get married! I thought the day would never come!’ she’d cried out, and rushed to tell anyone that would listen to her. Overdramatic, and a little hurtful, by the way… You didn’t even say anything about marriage, either!

“Hm?” You reluctantly blink your eyes open at the call of your name, to see Yeonjun looking at you with a suspicious grin on his face.

“I love you.”

“...What did you do? I love you too, though, even if I have to become an accomplice.”

“I didn’t do anything bad, I just love you.”

“Mm, you loser. I love you more.”

“Hm, are you sure about that?” Yeonjun hums, your eyes follow him as he sits up and reaches for something from his nightstand, “‘Cause I think I love you more? So much that I’m asking if you’d do me the honor of marrying me.” He says so casually, contrasting how he carefully opens a small, velvety box. It gives a quiet creak as it pops open, revealing a simple silver band. A ring. An engagement ring.

After blinking the fatigue out of your eyes, and confirming that you’re not seeing or hearing things, you sit up with a start, “You—

“You dick, why would you propose to me while I’m half-asleep?!”

“Well, if you said no, I could’ve just written it off as you being tired and mishearing me… I’ll get you a nicer wedding ring, too, if you say yes, that is. Well, I already have one—”

Yeonjun grunts as you throw yourself onto him, “You’re such an idiot, I love you. Yes, I’ll marry you, there’s no question about it.”

You can’t recall the moment you started loving Yeonjun; maybe it was the day you met and he let you play his PlayStation. Maybe it was in middle school when more people started to see him, or maybe it was in high school…

Maybe you can’t pinpoint the exact moment, maybe you’ve just always loved Yeonjun. It’d be hard not to love him; he’s as beautiful as a white rose—inside and out—one that you’d pluck from the dirt with your bare hands, thorns and all, just to keep to yourself, even if for a little while. Maybe that’s selfish, but you think that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

You part from Yeonjun as your friends and family cheering fills your ears. Feeling like words can’t do your feelings in that moment justice, you kiss him once more, in hopes to convey them a little better.

“I know. I love you,” he says, because he knows you best.

Grinning so happily that your cheeks begin to ache, you properly part from Yeonjun this time, and walk hand-in-hand down the aisle.

[tickle-bugs]

Have you considered Bruce being super awkward and stiff when he's hanging out with Clark and Diana, pre relationship or early relationship or whatever, and Jason and Dick seeing that and immediately being like "nope. We're not having that. Dude needs to loosen up." And Bruce never sees it coming when they flank him and start going to town on his sides. And of course Clark and Diana are all "oh?? So he is human?? Interesting." And Bruce threatens to ground two grown men because he just knows his life is about to change. Clark and Diana are goblins. He's done.

continued: OKAY BUT Bruce in bed in between Diana and Clark and they're all that perfect state of sleepy loopy comfortable and warm. And Clark is rubbing these soothing circles over Bruce's stomach and chest and Bruce is just melting into the bed and Clark is all "who's your favorite partner" and Bruce doesn't hesitate to say Diana, just to mess with Clark. But of course it backfires on him because "Bruce, look at his face. How is he not your favorite?"

You KNOW how I feel about them FUCK anyways here's these two prompts smushed together because...Im love them.

This fic is a sequel to Smitten! You don't have to read it but it will enrich your experience :)

Baby, I Surrender

Bruce deals with bombshells professionally, both in and out of the cowl, but absolutely nothing could prepare him for the world of dating two superhumans at once.

He’d never been one for monogamy, and he was happy to let the tabloids chalk it up to whatever psychological buzzword they were abusing that month. It didn’t matter. The number of partners has never been his problem…it’s the dating part. He’s not soft. Kind words are never his instinct, touch has to be coaxed out of him--most people tire of trying to train affection into him by the first month or so.

Clark, for some reason, seems to like his awkwardness. When Bruce wants to backpedal out of emotional proximity, Clark’s there to box him in and sit in the vulnerability with him. He’s a tease in more ways than one, but mostly he’s sweet. Like, send Bruce a box of chocolates at work ‘just because’ sweet. Bruce is starting to settle into the reciprocation part--he sent a bouquet over to Clark’s earlier in the week and it only made him nauseous once. 

Diana had surprised them both. She and Bruce had been circling each other for a while, flirting for the fun of it at events. There’s always been something between them, he thinks, a soft and sacred thing at the center of an iron-clad friendship. She’s saved his life without breaking a sweat, but she’s also gone with him on those long, silent walks he needs to recall who he is. So when a friend--a woman like that drags your boyfriend over and asks the both of you to dinner…well, Bruce would’ve been a fool to say no. 

The three of them are still easing into the togetherness of this affair, still picking around the fragile parts with jittery trepidation. Bruce wanted desperately to avoid public attention, but he and Clark frequently cross paths for day job purposes as it is. Also, it would be…unbecoming of him to avoid Diana as one of the Smithsonian’s most generous donors. So, when the Smithsonian announced its ribbon-cutting gala for its new exhibition, Bruce decided that he was going to be brave and go with his partners. As a unit. 

Bruce descends the grand staircase to find Diana and Clark looking radiant as all hell. Diana slow-dances with Clark in a floor-length maroon gown that flatters both her strong shoulders and curves. Clark’s jacket is the same color as her dress and fitted perfectly to his body. Diana dips him and he laughs, holding onto her as she lifts him back up. 

There’s no music. Bruce’s heart couldn’t be more full. 

“You’re both…matching.” He pauses. They don’t stop swaying, but they both smile at him. 

“I think someone--” Diana gives Clark a playful look-- “May have overheard me trying to choose what to wear. He picked me up like this.”

“I have no idea what you mean.” Clark clears his throat and adjusts his glasses, but his cheeks dust a faint pink. 

“You look…You both look…” Bruce runs a hand over his mouth to hide his fleeting smile. “I just threw this on, but now I’m sensing that I should change.” 

“You’ve trained him well, Clark. That was almost a full compliment.” Diana leans back into Clark’s shoulder, but her eyes never leave Bruce’s. 

“Can’t take credit for that.” Clark laughs, winding a lazy arm around her waist. She laces their fingers together. The overwhelming urge to kiss them both senseless is a welcome surprise. Bruce takes it in stride. 

Bruce does not run upstairs, as that would be undignified and embarrassing, but he does hurry. He changes into a sleek black tuxedo set and loses the tie--there’s no time to get Alfred to tie one now. He rustles through his pocket square collection until he finds a gorgeous maroon silk to fold into his breast pocket.

He bursts out of his room and nearly slams right into Jason and Dick. 

“Woah!” They manage to swerve out of the way at the last minute. Bruce blanches. Father and sons contend with each other for a moment while Bruce desperately tries to sink into the Earth. 

“You haven’t left yet?” Jason brightens with the beginning of a smirk. 

“You’re one to talk. The two of you were supposed to be on patrol an hour ago.” Bruce fiddles with his cufflinks. Dick tsks at him and goes to fasten them for him, but apparently the cufflinks aren’t up to his standard. He huffs, disappears into Bruce’s room, and reappears with a different set.

“You were in a different suit an hour ago.” Jason’s eyebrows raise. Bruce can hear the little hamster wheel that is his brain rattling as he regrettably connects the dots. Dick looks up from adjusting Bruce’s sleeves. He and Jason have an unintelligible conversation with their eyes alone. 

Bruce regrets adopting such intelligent orphans. 

“Oh my god. Bruce, did you change to match Clark?” Dick gasps. Jason snickers into his fist. 

“No.” Bruce clenches his jaw. “Yes.”

“You look fine.” Jason claps his shoulder. 

“You look good.” Dick fiddles with Bruce’s collar. Bruce swats his hands away. 

“Thank you. Patrol. Now.” Bruce gestures back the way they came. 

“Be safe,” Bruce calls after them. He waits until he hears them walk away and then waits a little longer before he dares to leave. He does hurry down the steps this time, but only because the chance of encountering more of his kids is spiking by the second. Also, because they’re late. 

“Sorry about that. Let’s get go--mmph.” Bruce gets swallowed into a kiss with Clark, deep and sweet. Bruce grips Clark’s biceps to remember which way is up. 

“This whole situation is going to be a problem for me.” Clark gestures at Bruce, breathless. Bruce tilts his head and lets his eyes roam Clark’s exquisite form.

“I’d hate to cause any problems for you, Mr. Kent.” Bruce walks his fingers up Clark’s chest and tugs at his tie. 

“I’m sure you would.” Clark clears his throat. Diana wraps her arms around Bruce from behind.

“You’ll save a little bit of this for us, won’t you?” She hums, trailing her fingers down the column of Bruce’s throat and down to the exposed part of his chest. He shivers.

“The night is still young. We’ll see what happens.” He kisses her over his shoulder, turning to lean into it fully. He memorizes the way her lipstick looks so he can daydream about her leaving smudges of it on his skin.

Bruce perks up at a creaking floorboard, one that only creaks when one of his children has gotten un-sneaky in their sneaking. He narrows his eyes at the balcony. Jason’s tuft of white hair is just barely visible behind a pillar. 

Bruce heaves a deep sigh.

“I know you’re up there,” Bruce calls. Dick and Jason both stumble out from their hiding space and immediately adjust themselves. Their descent down the stairs is anything but normal, but Bruce is proud of them for trying, at least.

“You didn’t tell us you were dating Wonder Woman too,” Dick hisses, eyes wide. Diana waves at him. He meekly waves back. 

“Nah, no way. This has to be a charity thing.” Jason whispers not-so-quietly. 

“Not a charity thing, Jason, though I appreciate your unwavering faith.” Bruce huffs, but something sour does curl inside him at the jab. He should be used to it, but he isn’t. Jason must see something in his face because he shuffles his weight.

“Didn’t know it was serious. Sorry.” 

“I don’t know what it is, but I like it. Ideally, they also like it. Don’t tell the others until I’m—we’re sure it’ll work.” Bruce runs a hand through his hair. 

“Good luck keeping something like this secret in this house. Between Cass living in the walls and Steph’s crush on you-know-who—“ Jason tilts his head towards Diana— “you’re toast.” 

“Also, I’m pretty sure they heard you,” Dick murmurs. Bruce hangs his head in defeat. He can hear his partners laughing softly at him, but he chooses to strategically ignore it. 

“Clark, Diana. These are two of my children, Dick and Jason.” Bruce puts a hand on both of their shoulders and gives a firm squeeze. 

“We’ve heard plenty of good things about you.” Diana beams. Jason gives her a firm handshake. Dick kisses her knuckles. Bruce can’t help but smile at how excited they are. 

It bodes well for whatever this is, between the three of them. 

“So have we.” Dick beams. 

“Really?” Clark glances at Bruce with the softest smile. Bruce bashfully rolls his eyes. 

“Well, no. We’ve been trying but he won’t tell us anything.” Dick nudges Bruce’s shoulder. 

“It means he cares.” Jason mock-whispers. 

“Alright, you’re done. Out. Go. Bye.” Bruce shoos them away with firm hands on their backs, but they resist. 

“C’mon, wait, let’s get a picture!” Dick fishes out his phone and holds it up like a white flag. Jason leans up against the wall, keen to observe. 

“The press will take plenty.” Bruce frowns. 

“Yeah, but I think Alfred would love one of the three of you, don’t you think?” Dick blinks, all innocence. Bruce glares daggers at him. 

“A picture sounds lovely.” Diana sweeps Clark and Bruce into either side of her. Clark and Bruce touch hands across the small of her back. 

“Bruce, smile. It’s not a funeral.” 

“I know how to smile, Jason.” Bruce rolls his eyes. 

“Would you like to prove it?” Jason gestures at him. Bruce grimaces for the picture. 

Of course, he’s had plenty of practice faking smiles for a camera. There’s something about this picture though, the implications of it, that scares the Brucie routine right out of him. Maybe because it matters. 

“This is stupid,” Bruce grumbles. 

“It’s sweet. It means they care,” Diana whispers teasingly, kissing his cheek. 

“That’s so cute! Hold that--okay, nope, we lost the smile.” Dick sighs and puts his hands on his hips. Jason leans over to him and they murmur back and forth for a while. Dick’s eyebrows go up in that way they do when he has an idea. 

“Can you hear what they’re saying?” Bruce mutters to Clark. 

“I will not confirm, deny, or disclose it.” Clark grins mischievously. Something about the look in his eye is familiar, it sends Bruce’s stomach swooping in a strange way. 

Dick bounds up to Clark and bounces on his toes. His eyes are glittering with awe. 

“Mr. Kent--”

“Please, Clark is fine.” 

“Clark.” Dick bites his lip on a smile. Bruce makes a note to commend him for not squealing. “Would you hold this for a moment?”

“Of course.” Clark takes the offered cellphone. Dick leans up and whispers something in his ear, hiding his mouth behind his hands. Clark is suddenly aglow, grinning as if Christmas has come early. 

“What are you planning? What’s happening?” Bruce hisses, looking between the two of them. Clark shrugs dramatically. 

“Nothing, nothing. We’ve kept you waiting long enough. We’re gonna take one more photo, and it is what it is. If it’s terrible, Alfred can always grab one off the internet.” Dick waves nonchalantly, striding up to the three of them. Bruce narrows his eyes.

Dick fiddles with various elements of Bruce’s outfit, frowning deeply. He can’t seem to get things to lay the way he likes, which alights a deep spark of anxiety in Bruce’s gut. He knows he looks fine, but Dick doesn’t seem to think so—

“Jason, come help me fix this.” 

“My pleasure.” Oh, Jason is smiling. That’s--well, it’s lovely. Bruce doesn’t see it often anymore. But it’s also terrifying and an omen of chaos. Not lovely. 

Jason and Dick both duck under Bruce’s arms in unison and start tickling him. Betrayed by his own children. 

Bruce has fought off deadlier assassins blindfolded and with his hands bound behind his back, but the difference is that it’s frowned upon to punch his children. Which means, regrettably, he folds. 

“Hey!” Bruce manages to snatch one of Jason’s hands, but it leaves him open for Dick to squeeze his sides. Bruce’s laughter gets the better of him and he leans into Diana for protection. 

Diana gasps in sheer delight. 

“I didn’t know you were ticklish, Bruce! Did you know about this?” She tugs on Clark’s sleeve. He takes a few pictures of Bruce. 

“Yeah, I…found out pretty early. Figured I should let you stumble across it, lest Bruce suddenly ‘find’ that kryptonite spear he swears he got rid of.” Clark murmurs. Bruce gives him the finger, face burning. 

With some difficulty, Bruce manages to detach Jason and Dick from his person. They both grumble at being foiled, but they look like…they’re in trouble? Or expecting it, at least. It tugs painfully at Bruce’s spirit. 

He swallows the lecture he was going to give in favor of ruffling their hair aggressively. Dick laughs, Jason screeches indignantly, and Bruce figures that’s more than enough for now. 

“You look thoroughly debauched, we’re fashionably late, and I’ve just figured out what I’d like to do with the next three hours of my time. Minimum.” Diana smooths her hands over Bruce’s chest. 

“See, I liked the first part of that. How about we stay there?” Bruce hovers a hair’s breadth from her lips with a smirk. She closes the gap, pulling him close by the back of his neck. 

Evil fingers pinch his sides and Bruce squeaks into Diana’s mouth. 

“Sorry. Couldn’t resist.” Clark grins. Bruce scowls with no heat. Clark bestows a righteous apology kiss upon him, one that takes him out at the knees a bit. 

“I’m out.” Jason gags, trudging up the stairs. 

“It was nice meeting you both.” Dick winks, bounding after Jason. 

Bruce sighs fondly as they go. It’s Clark who holds his waist this time, leaning in to murmur in his ear. 

“Are we sure that we have to go?”

“If Vicki Vale is going to hunt me down for an exclusive anywhere, I’d rather it not be here. Again.” Bruce squeezes Clark’s hand. 

“It’d be a waste not to take these outfits for a spin.” Diana loops her arm through Bruce’s. He hums in approval and starts to walk them to the door.

“Maybe I can be convinced to make an early exit.” Bruce smirks at the way his partners stiffen beside him. 

…

They grace the gala for truly an hour at best—Diana and Clark have an express talent for winding each other up and Bruce is, in truth, a weak man. Their outfits spend more cumulative time on the bedroom floor than on their bodies. 

The moon lays a quiet blessing on the master bedroom once they’ve finished, bathing everything a cool silver. Bruce’s bed had always felt too big for sleep—he took any excuse he could to curl up on a couch or in the cave—but for them, it’s perfect. There’s no telling where one of them ends or begins, just limbs tangled in content fondness. 

“Who’s your favorite? Me or Diana?” Clark whispers teasingly. A chuckle rumbles low in Bruce’s chest.

“Diana.” Bruce cracks open one eye to drink in the glory of Clark’s offended face. Diana rewards him a hot, languid trail of kisses to the underside of his jaw.  

“Bruce, look at his face. How could he not be your favorite?” Diana tilts Bruce’s chin in Clark’s direction. 

“I thought you’d be flattered.” Bruce huffs. “Fine, Clark’s my favorite.”

“Bruce. C’mon.” Clark adds another love bite to the growing collection on his collarbone. “Just look at Diana.” 

“I am getting very mixed signals here,” Bruce gasps softly, clenching his fingers in the sheets. Clark’s kisses grow light and insistent. 

“Clark.” Bruce fights tooth and nail against the smile trying to fight its way onto his face. Goosebumps flare across his chest. Clark nibbles a little and Bruce twitches. 

“Yes?” He blinks innocently. 

“Don’t ruin this.” Bruce squishes his cheeks threateningly. Clark dives to nuzzle Bruce’s neck, scooping him up into his arms. Tired and shmoopy, Bruce giggles and reaches for Diana. She props herself up on her elbow, amused, and gives him her hand. 

“What?” Bruce snickers, flinching away from Clark’s deadly lips. 

“Just taking all this in. I’m meeting this version of you for the first time.” Diana hums. 

“I think Giggly Bruce is my favorite.” Clark peppers more kisses, the endless fount of affection that he is. 

“That’s not—there’s no—stoppit—“ Bruce curls in on himself. Clark wiggles his fingers into Bruce’s stomach and chases his blushing neck with his lips. 

“I agree, Kal.” The name catches beautifully on Diana’s tongue. Evidently, Clark seems to agree—he peeks over Bruce’s shoulder with a radiant smile. 

“Can I convince you two to at least try and sleep?” Bruce huffs, scratchy and fond. Diana hums and slides closer, tucking herself into Bruce’s chest. He skims his fingers across her back in gentle patterns. 

Quiet blooms in the room as their breathing starts to sync. The weight of Clark’s arm is as much a comfort as Diana’s breath against his skin. Bruce thinks, distantly, that he might like to fall asleep like this every night. 

“Di, c’mon—“ Clark snickers, then giggles. 

“You’re both terrible at this.” Bruce turns over to squint at Clark. Clark can’t even look at him—his entire being is scrunched in restrained laughter as he slaps Diana’s tickling hand away from his hip.

Bruce slowly turns to the other menace in his bed. Diana just shrugs. 

Bruce flops back down on the bed and actually manages to doze off, lured into floating sleep by the gentle rumble of Clark’s chest. This means he’s completely blindsided when the morning renews his partners’ unending playfulness, but safe arms to sleep in are well worth the sacrifice. 

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

[fionajames]

Hiiiiii!!!! I haven’t requested in a hot minute! Anyway, what’s up how’s life?

Request: okay, so I read a fic about this made up mission where Torrent Company was on, they jumped out a high window and Rex and a few others were badly injured and put into a coma or something. Is it possible for me to ask if you could write a little something similar where there’s a dangerous mission and Cody is super worried about Rex because he comes home all broken and barley conscious and it’s like Rex wakes up and is kinda like “why am I here, Cody I’m fine. It’s just six broken ribs, a concussion, and a broken femur” and Cody is all like “Rex, I order you to stay down.” ???

Okay, wow that was long, but is it possible if you could write something similar to it? Pretty please with sprinkles on top?

Thank you so much!!!! Love ur work ❤️-Sha 🫡

hi sha! thats ok! lifes pretty.... bad? its pretty egh. sorry this took me so long to do, ive been busy :(

sorry if any medical info in this is incorrect! im not a doctor. ive never taken a medical course. im a silly child writing fanfiction.

Rex didn’t remember much from the actually battle, which wasn’t surprising. He remembered the explosion of pain that had filled his body after the building he was in had collapsed, but not much else. He, however, did remember waking up on the Medbay, medics around him rushing to aid him. Kix was beside him, shouting something at someone else, but Rex couldn’t understand what. His head was pounding and his ears were ringing. 

“Kix?” He managed to croak, and the medic turned to him with a horrified and worried expression.

“It’s gonna be fine, Rex, you’re going to be fine,” Kix told him quickly, and although his words were muffled, Rex could still understand him. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Put him under a general anaesthetic!”

Rex wasn’t sure why he required a general anaesthetic like Kix had said, but he didn’t have any more time to think when a needle was inserted into his arm.

-

The next day, Rex was calmly sitting on the Medbay cot, drinking a glass of water. They’d done something to his ribs - he wasn’t sure what, he didn’t want to know - but couldn’t give him a compression wrap as it came with the risk of restricted breathing or even partial lung collapse.

He’d broken a femur as well - that hurt like hell - and had a concussion. The concussion was a numbing, aching throb that he despised. Never again, did he want a concussion.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal Cody, with a rather irritated look on his face. “Rex!” He shouted angrily, strolling to stand next to his brother. “I told you to get out of that building, and look where you ended up!” 

Rex glanced around in confusion, then at himself. “What do you mean?”

“What do I mean?!” Cody shouted in exasperation, running a hand down his face. Maker, he thought. Skywalker must be rubbing off on him! Well, at least he’s not as bad as General Kenobi. Obi-Wan had returned back to base a few months ago with six broken ribs, a broken arm, broken leg, concussion and wrist fracture. “Look at yourself!”

Rex did as he was told, but still remained confused. “Cody, seriously, I’m fine!” He scoffed. “It’s only three broken ribs, a concussion and a broken femur! That’s not bad!”

Cody looked like he either wanted to punch Rex in the face, or cry.

“You damn fool!” He shouted, sinking to sit on the cot next to his brother, face in his hands. “Rex, you idiot. You could have died!” 

“But I didn’t,” Rex grinned playfully and Cody choked out a frustrated sob. 

“Rex,” he sighed. “Your going to be the death of me.”

“Not if I’m dead first.”

“Don’t say that!” 

“Fine, Cody.”

hope you enjoyed!!!!!!!!!! requests pleasE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[crystal-cliffs]

Arlecchino’s story quest was a solid 8/10 for me

However there’s still one thing I’m not sure about, spoilers beyond this point.

The fight between Arlecchino and the siblings isn’t an unheard of dynamic, it’s been used in shows like Avatar in the episode Sokka’s Master, the mentor seeming to turn on their apprentice to test them of their skills.

However unlike Avatar, Arlecchino was violent. (it had to be convincing ofc) She seriously harmed all three of the siblings, hell, Freminet mentions being bedridden for two days. Im not against this characterization of her, someone who thinks the ends justify the means as long as they get from point A to point B. She can essentially turn her emotions off to get things done since obviously she cares about the children, we’ve established this multiple times, but she also probably considers this “fight for freedom” caring about them as well since it could be worst, she could actually execute them. Which is all sorts of fucked up but I mean, I’m glad they’re letting her do something fucked up again.

Im also not opposed to the siblings characterization of how they still appreciate her anyways (for the most part, still some stuff that makes me feel off), its all they’ve know, and theyve decided for themselves that they understand and are willing to work past it, hell i guess forgive her. It makes sense for people like them.

However that doesn’t feel like a happy ending like the game might be trying to sell it as. Its sad. Lyney mentions it himself, they don’t know how a real family functions, this is all they’ve known and they certainly aren’t willing to lose it.

I don’t mind how they chose to end things. It’s just i definitely got a more solemn energy than happy even though what Lynette was saying seemed like that’s what they were going for.

Arlecchino’s story quest isn’t happy. Arlecchino is a product of her environment that cannot ever go back to the way she once was, if that person even ever existed. The siblings were seriously harmed in a fight and then seriously thought Arlecchino was about to kill their family, and that’s not okay. Then right after Lyney is back to normal and talking to Arlecchino as if nothing happened. I don’t know about you but family or not I’d be shaken up for awhile if I thought my dad was about to kill the rest of my family in front of me, idk that’s just me.

Again, I don’t have a problem with Arlecchino, they might not even be trying to frame her actions positively, but the way the siblings just return to normal makes it feel like they might be… like “oh it’s okay you did that, we want to stay <3” which just signals the audience that it’s time to forgive her

I didn’t want the siblings to forget, because that’s just boring, but idk it bothered me that he just brushed it off as if it was nothing. Maybe that’s just a product of their violent environment? Or maybe I’m just making excuses for poor character writing.

That’s all, my thoughts are all incredibly jumbled and I can’t quite string them together right😅

I might have something more cohesive later

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Kissing them in the middle of an argument with Chuuya and Kunikida with female reader please

Kissing them in the middle of an argument!

Fandom:Bungou Stray Dogs Pairings:Kunikida,Chuuya X Fem!reader Genre:Angst to Fluff Format:Scenario Warnings:None Word Count:663 A/n:Its my first time writing for Kunikida,i hope its ok :D

My 100 follower event!

"the hell did you do to my wine?" Chuuya hissed,sending daggers toward you with his gaze,which made you shiver a bit,but failed to remove your composure.he was always calm around you,letting his chill side come out and just relax with his girl,but now that you hid his favorite wine? he was pissed.

you know that Chuuya is gonna cheat on you with wine one day.

"babe,youre drowning yourself in wine.you already know that its like poison for you!" you took a few steps toward him,trying to reach his cheeks,but he rejects you before you could even sense his skin on your fingertips.

"where the hell is my wine? you threw it away didnt you? you have no right to do that! you have no idea what im going through right now!"

"baby-"

"dont baby me! im tired of your sh-"

before he could go forward,he felt your lips being smashed into his,trying to calm him down.he was mad indeed,he was angry;

but how could he ever reject the sweet comfortness of your touch?

he slowly closed his eyes,leaning into you touch as he kissed you back,letting his rage disappear.he was supposed to be rough,he was supposed to push you away,but the addictive taste of your lips didnt let him do any of it.

when your hands were placed on his cheek ,he didnt try to shake them off this time.instead,he wrapped his arms around your waist,pulling you closer to himself.

you weren't going to tell him where the wine was ,

but he was ok with it as long as he could have you instead of it.

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

you bit your bottom lip,nervously looking at your boyfriend who was staring at the files he was supposed to take to work tomorrow,which was covered in the coffie you brought to him.

"what have you done?" Kunikida said indignantly,almost in a yelling voice. his sharp tone broke your heart a bit,but he had a right to be mad.

"i-im sorry...i just wanted to take care of you a bit..." you mumbled, trying to avoid his gaze,but you could still sense the anger composited with his eyes.

"by ruinning the files ive been working on for the past three hours?" he pointed at the files with his finger,reminding you of what youve done for the thousandth time.

"honey im sorry..." "well sorry doesnt fix anything does it? god dammit! its like im dating Dazai!"

well that was a bit harsh.

"are you seriously comparing me to Dazai?" you took a step forward, with the last sip of bravery you had left in your body.its true that you messed up,but maybe hes overreacting too.you need to shut him up or else this little accident is gonna turn into a huge fight.

"you know what i me-"

and before he knew,you cupped his cheeks,dragged him down and crashed your lips into his.

he hated it.hated it when you tried to find your way out of argument with kisses,cuddles and affection.and he hated it because no matter how many times you try to do it,

he always fell for it.

he doesnt like how you have control over him,how he cant resist your charm,your touch,your lips.

he let out a small breath through his nose and kissed you back while sucking his anger inside and tried to focus on you,and the pleasure you were giving him.

god he hated how vulnerable he was around you,how you were the only person who could bring out sides of him that no-one else has;

but did he?

it was fine.they were Dazais reports anyway,

only this time he has to do his work himself.

reblogs are way too much appreciated! <3

[1stupidrat]

2018 Artwork Archive

Hooo boi we're goin wayyy back with this one here. Gonna start archiving all my artwork here for folks who are curious.

I only really started pursuing artwork "seriously" in 2019, but I've been drawing all my life. Never really considered myself an artist until like halfway through SRN, though im not sure why because looking back at some of this stuff it's actually still halfway decent. Obviously old and unfinished but yknow, its still nice.

So yea, come with me as we dive into the past of old tali art containing some neat and some really bad art! ✧∘* ✧･ﾟ

2018 was a big year for me as I was still pursuing game design and didn't really have a direction in life. I was creating one game for most of the year, that game being Aether Drift. Duncan was the primary artist for the game and I the coder / musician, but that being said I did still do quite a few pieces of concept art.

The game is still live and playable on Steam if you're interested!

Honestly some of these pieces, while clearly being messy, are still quite nice and I like 'em a lot. The Jhin piece in the middle-right is traditional w/ Blik markers, and you can definitely tell I was more comfortable with trad art at that point in my life.

I particularly remember the Yojimbo piece (the green bird at the bottom) took me like a full two or three days to finish. Crazy honestly.

Ontop of that, I was working on a rhythm RPG game called "Harlow's Piano" at that point. The game never got very far into development but I did make quite a few pieces of art for it.

(yes one of these is done on Roll20 lmao)

A few more traditional pieces I did at the time.

I really like this one. Concept art for a game titled "The Crowman", basically this personification of death whose made their purpose to help those with tragic deaths.

(He's spooky but he's nice I swear)

And last for this post, a few trad arts of my girl Minka from a canceled project / book titled "Tyranopolis the City of Thunder". She was a mechanic who worked with the main rebel organization in the world called Force. Grimy cooky gremlin.

So anyways, yea! There's more 2018 artwork I will post in a followup post but these are the main ones that stuck out to me (also I hit the 30 artwork limit for a post lmao).

[sparatus]

Late to the party but whoops, for the dragon asks: Ice and/or Breath!!

well now im even later cause im answering this like a month and a half late oops

dragon asks

putting under a cut for length

Ice: share a snippet where a character is taking a risk.

hmm lots of good options but let's do this bit from broken mirror ch55:

--

“Here.” Viktoriya tossed Shepard the bag, and they caught it automatically, brows popping up in surprise. “The big box is a complete clone of Hislop’s terminal. Everything he knew about or had a hand in. Do not let it connect to the extranet. Cerberus codes all their high-ups’ stuff with bio-keys that run a self-deletion protocol if anything happens to them. As soon as those files get the signal he’s dead, you’re right back to where you started. There’s an OSD in the front pocket with a virus to scrub the keys off it, just put them together in an isolated server and let the virus do its work. Don’t let it touch your stuff.”

Shepard and Nihlus shared a look, and Shepard hastily started patting the bag down to check for anything else. After a moment, they pulled a small data drive out of a mesh pouch on the side, and Viktoriya pursed her lips. “That’s the formula for the antidote to the poison in that knife,” she said, gesturing to the hilt still sticking out of Saren’s knee. “I wanted to steal some of the actual stuff, but that’s a bit harder to swipe than some data.”

Shepard’s eyes nearly bugged out of their head. “It’s poisoned?” they yelped, practically choking on their tongue from the sound of it.

“Ricin mixed with something from Tuchanka,” Viktoriya confirmed. “I don’t know all the details, but it’s slow-acting. They like their subtle, slow methods so they can get away before you realize what they’ve done. Fucking cowards. You have a week, ten days if you’re lucky. I’d send that ahead if I were you.” She looked between them, and there must have been doubt somewhere in the picture, because she scowled. “For fuck’s sake, I’m not going to booby-trap an antidote, no matter what you think of me. Scan it for viruses if you want, I don’t care. It’s a terrible fucking way to die.”

Shepard swallowed and stuffed the drive back into the pouch. “Thank you,” they said, slinging the bag over one shoulder. “Really.”

Viktoriya snorted and rolled her shoulders. “You want to thank me? You’ve only taken out one of three. Eva Coré and Jack Harper are the other two. Find them and put them down like the fucking dogs they’ve stylized themselves as. I’ll take care of the rest.” She jammed her helmet back onto her head and adjusted it until she was comfortable, then shook herself and nodded to Saren’s body in Nihlus’s arms. “Get him home. I don’t know what the beef is with his brother, and frankly, I don’t give a shit, but nobody deserves to die like that.”

Nihlus had, quite honestly, been starting to wonder if anyone was going to remember Saren’s desperate need for medical help, and didn’t need to be told twice to gather the bundle of albino twigs close as he rose to his feet. “Come on, Saren,” he urged, running one hand over his crest. “Come on, we’re going home.”

He chose to take the faint pressure against his palm as a good sign.

Shepard adjusted the bag and made to follow, only to pause and look back at Viktoriya. “What about you?”

To Nihlus’s surprise, she actually gave a frustrated groan. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, would you go already? I can take care of myself. I have to remove all traces of me being here, or I’ll be in a hell of a lot more danger than you are.”

“But-”

“Look, I appreciate how many fucks you give about me, but I don’t need a knight in shining N7 armor, got it? The only hero in my story is me.” She barked a short laugh. “Hell, maybe I’ll make the carnage worse, hammer in why nobody came out to help. Don’t feel bad about making Earl’s cat an orphan, he stole the poor thing from his ex anyway. Being headless is a fucking improvement, you should’ve seen the stupid fucking mullet they made him shave off.” She shook her head, apparently realizing she’d gotten onto a tangent, and flapped her hands at them. “I can handle myself. Now, go!”

--

like. she's literally giving away vital information on her ruthless employers who've already been shown to remove body parts and enforce obedience so aggressively she's basically only a step or two above being classed as a slave, but she wants to be free and see her family again so badly she's willing to trust shepard despite knowing what will happen if she's caught, and we see in the post-script she is caught and we're gonna find out pretty soon in itlog what the consequences are but god that show of desperation and wanting to believe in something is just :justright:

Breath: share a snippet that makes you laugh.

well last time i shared the ol' "saren gets lifted bodily off the ground because nihlus fears neither god nor death" from rabbit so let's revisit this bad boy from itlog ch12 shall we:

--

“Agent Kryik, if this is some elaborate ruse to announce your intent to retire, I'm not amused.”

Shepard suppressed a snort. Nihlus hadn't even particularly wanted to tell the councilor what they were about to do, and had only reluctantly made the call so Sparatus could let Saren know if things went belly-up. They'd put it off to the last possible minute – they were currently loitering in the system maybe half an hour's flight from Purgatory, and were waiting on the ship to confirm permission to dock.

Nihlus at least had the courtesy to fight his mandibles back down his face before his smirk was too obvious on camera. "Ierian, believe me, when I retire, I'll tell you so from the comfort of my own bed, already holding Saren like a stuffed toy. There's no Saren in this picture, so I'm afraid I'm entirely serious."

Sparatus took a moment to stare into his hovering camera. Shepard couldn't decide if the look in his eyes was annoyance or resignation, but either way, there was definitely a healthy dose of I can't wait until you aren't my problem anymore. Then he looked down again, back to rubbing his face with a washcloth. Nihlus had texted them an explanation that it was soaked in an oil that kept his scars from getting too stiff and was applied every night; they had apparently caught him just before bed. 

There was something surreal about it, even moreso than talking to him in his own living room the week or so before. That had at least still had a level of separation to it; everyone was clothed and prepared to talk business, takeout boxes aside. That version of Ierian Sparatus had still felt like Shepard's boss, a dignified old prosecutor grouchy about being disturbed but willing to do his job. On the other hand, there was something... intimate about seeing the old man at such a simple point in time. He wasn't even wearing a shirt, the sprawling cultural tattoos across his arms and torso (xepoa'väch, Nihlus explained in another text, very Tiirti and very closed to outsiders) on full display. His vincorit glittered cheerfully in the light as it clinked around his old-man-bony wrist. He'd set his camera against the mirror so he could have his hands free, and Aediteia occasionally wandered past behind him as she went about her own routine. Peaceful and domestic, quiet and normal. No pressing matters except whether or not he'd taken the meds waiting for him on the counter. There was no councilor here, only an elderly turian getting ready for bed.

And then there was Nihlus, feet kicked up on the dash and grinning like the hoodlum Sparatus almost definitely thought he was. Shepard actually pitied the old man.

Sparatus grumbled as he pulled the washcloth from his face. "I'm going to impose a moratorium on calling me outside office hours. Call Valern. I have to be up early for a doctor's appointment, you know."

"Valern would just tell us to call you, and you know it." Nihlus uncrossed and recrossed his legs. "Besides, would you rather know ahead of time so you can give extra orders, or find out afterwards and complain about what we didn't think to do while we were there?"

"I have so few pleasures in my day-to-day, Nihlus, you would really take complaining away from me?" Sparatus tossed the cloth off to the side and picked up his toothbrush from its holder. "I suppose you have a very good reason for this very bad idea?"

--

rabbit/exdiff nihlus is really just. a menace. i love him so much

[moongoddessmox]

alright so, im finally on my computer so i can type this all out. remember the introduction of B from work? yeah, well things have developed in a way that's........ugh but also not ugh. let me explain, this is gonna be long.

The last two weeks have been very....interesting. Things have moved pretty fucking fast ngl. So we left off on the second day B and I had ever interacted, back when it was just a simple awkward Hello at work. Well, after that I told B that I was gonna invite him to breakfast with my dairy crew and asked for his number, he told me he dropped something on his head and that's why he went home early. After that we kind of texted but he's like, really bad at responding. Like, it would be a day or more with no response so I was like, ughhhh.

Well, I finally got him to talking about plants because he loves them, and we looked at the plants at our store after work, then we walked to his car and talked. He told me to pick three things and he'll choose one for us to do outside of work. So we made a plan to go hiking. At this point, we're talking more and he's responding better. I'm still doing most of the talking but he's actually saying things now. (He also said he's gonna make a powerpoint to answer all my shit because I talk so much lmfao he never did but whatever)

Anyway, he tells me about his life and that he's divorced, that was a shock tbh. He seems too young to be divorced already but whatever, nbd idc. Anyway, he then tells me he's not sure if he's emotionally or mentally ready for a relationship because he doesn't want to put his remaining issues onto someone so he said "is it okay if we're just friends for awhile?" and ya know, that immediately put up a red flag because i've been told that before. But he seems sweet and we vibe literally so fucking well. So it's okay, I'm cool with being friends with him. He's great. So the next day he invites me to Lowes to look at plants and he bought me starbucks, then we went to the park and walked the trail and to the dog park with his cute ass DOGGGGGG. He's literally so adorable with his dog, yall its tough not to fall for him.

So we hang out like 3 hours or so, and have been texting so much since. The day after that, he facetimed me and showed me all his plants and garden and we made a spontaneous plan to go hiking at the state park, so i got ready and he picked me up and we went out there and hiked. I've never been hiking yall, but it was fun. We talked a lot, joked around, and it was great. We have the same energy but he's more extroverted and goofy. He also kept looking at me and I was like "what" and he said "nothing just figuring things out" and he claimed he was just being weird but like, why would you say that smh lmfao

So, we were texting later that day and about crushes and things and he asked if I wanted to be FWB, which kinda shocked me like, ok so he does like me, but here we go again. I've had a FWB before where they didn't want a relationship but just wanted to use me. So I was like, red flag #2.

However, he's so fucking cute, so hell yeah im gonna do that wtf. Anyway, so we've basically hung out every single day, and we talk rapid fire now, there's no issues with responding. We haven't done anything but kiss, and we don't even sext or anything. Its just kinda flirty sometimes, its like starting to date someone rather than a FWB.

But on Thursday he asked if he could come over on his lunch break and hang out, because we're off on different days, so i super cleaned and he came over and was so kind and gentle with my cats and we talked and hung out and he fucking kissed me and it was so nice. We didn't like, full on makeout but we kept kissing and hes so playful. He snooped around my apartment and had knocked over my painted as I tried to stop him from going upstairs, and it knocked my Castial pop vinyl into my candle and melted the box lmfao yikes. But it was all playful and fun and very touchy. And he's just so sweet and kind...

Then he came over Friday on our lunch break and we hung out in my bed and he literally grabbed me from behind and walked me to my bed and kissed me, pulled me down on top of him and kissed me on the bed. like bro......BRO

He didn't try to do anything else, hes been very respectful and im just like, bro fucking take me, TAKE ME RIGHT NOW BC THIS TEASING IS TOO MUCH, HOW IS THIS REAL

and today he told me his best friend who we work with invited me to their Sunday Football hangouts like.....B told me he wasn't gonna tell anyone bc he didn't want people hounding him about it but he's talking about me enough that his friend is personally inviting me????

So today he's gonna come over and hang out, hopefully lmfao and god. GOD. Yall this is such a mistake because hes so kind and sweet and cute and we match each other so well and I feel like maybe i'm reading into his looks and behaviors too much but hes so genuine and sweet to me.

LIKE yesterday we were talking about favorite starburst flavors and we both said pink, and today at work he held his hand over mine and dropped a pink starburst into my hand. Then when i went to my car on break, he had left a starburst on my door handle........and he gave me veggies from his garden, OH AND HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS PLANTS yall.............this isnt real.........this is so fucking insane............

i'll add some pics of what i can for proof bc this is crazy

[irl]

wow!

yo money problems lol

//vent

okay like. ik im traumatized but like its wild every day i uncover new facets to the trauma

hold on lemme like. pack a bowl and get myself set up for success

—

that break was like an hour longer than id anticipated but its given me time to calm down and all.

anyway i was homeless for a while, the hippie manipulated me into it, and financially abused me for like two straight years of hell yadda yadda whatever

like ive always had money problems, i grew up poor and id only ever not been dirt poor for like 6 months (ah. the first half of 2021…………… except the job was killing me tbh) but like. what the hippie put me through was a whole different level that i dont think ive even begun to recover from

listen. living out of a four door hatchback that was filled with Stuff and Shit and Trash and Shit and Who Knows What and Shit and also infested with cockroaches. to the point where even during the middle of the day in the blazing heat with no ac while driving ans they have literally 80% of the vehicle to hide in and they were still crawling up my legs. when i slept i had to wrap my head and face up in my blankets i was twrrified of them crawling into my mouth or nose or ears and there were so many i felt like it was a definite reality.

that does things. being forced to live like that. off of nothing. i had lit cigarettes flicked at my head while i stood at an interstate exit with a sign begging strangers for money with no other option because of the trap the hippie had ensnared me in.

of course her main priority — and thus mine because keeping me high all the time was important for her to keep control — was to get enough each day for more weed. enough for us to get some food from the dollar menu from mcdonalds to “get some good protein in us” and sometimes we even had enough to go to some dollar store and spend ten dollars and leave with fifty dollars worth of food. enough to last us the week and feed all three of us. me, her, and her son.

i learned how to con. i learned how to steal. i learned how to scam. i did it more times than i could count. nothing bad against like. actual people. sometimes id pull a con on someone with a fancier car to get a couple gallons of free gas. this was back in 2019 and 2020 when gas was Cheap Cheap. everything else was always done at big box stores

ofc eventually we got caught. or rather she got caught and dragged me down with her kicking and screamjng and flailing and to more trauma but that was just a few hotel visits at jail it wasnt that bad lol

anyway. im, i think understandably, terrified of that happening again lmao. not just the financial abuse and the situation but like even to the root core being homeless again.

every time i lose track of my spending outside of more than a Five Dollars Definite Range i start freaking out. immediately and fully i am convinced that all of my money is gone and i have Nothing At All and im going to miss rent and im going to be kicked out and im going to have nothing tomorrow and i wont be able to survive it this time (even if rhis outrageous thing were to happen i would survive it but when im in a spiral i cant remember it).

god Forbid that my banks website is down or unresponsive when i try to check to assuage myself. thats when i start immediately and fully panicking. i start crying its hard for me to self regulate. i cant bring myself away from the reality ive convinced myself of and i obsessively check the bank app in any browser or way i can until i find an answer

so its fun

[tunawithsoysauce]

Day: 3???

17/4/24

Hiya!!!! Sorry i didnt write. Ive decided the most i'll pause the blog is three days. Also, shoutout to my sister that now reads this! Gonna be careful with what I put her now, haha. That's a joke. Er.

So! Hi. Been busy. With tests n stuff. Also kind of relapsed. 17 days and I throw it away. I c-t myself like an hour ago writing this too haha.

Well, I wont be pessimistic. I'll be fine. Its just a blip. I hope so, at least.

Enough about not-today-days. Here's my day today!!!

Woke up at six. Mentally prepared me for in total four hours of english exams. UGH. It sucked, but I did good. Anyways.

C-t myself in the morning. It was to prepare myself. I think. Yeah, it was.

I took the bus. I listened to some Weezer (Pinkerton, blue album, and green album!!!) And met Leija on my way from the bus station. She cheered me up so much. GOD I love her.

We settled in in the testroom thingie, and started. I got done super early (duh) and read Solitare (Alice oseman) for like 50 minutes. ITS SO GOOD. Ive read it at least eight times by now. But still. Epic. Book. (Sprolden AJSKSJDJ)

Me n Leija ate lunch. I actually ate (unlike any other day lmao) and it was fish burgers. Yuck. No im kidding. It actually tasted okay.

The rest of the break i just ran around with Leija. And Deim. I think I yelled so much my lungs would collapse. (Outside ofc)

And then the next test. It was super slow since we had to listen to some guy talking. BORING ASF. Anyways I fell asleep afterwards while the writing time was still going and Elsa woke me up.

I jumped around agressively and climbed a tree out of exitement. I scraped my knee falling from it :[

Anyways. We had homeroom (YUCK) and I was kind of riled up. Anxious. Whatever. My teacher looked at me and used his serious voice telling me to breathe. I rolled my eyes at him. But I was thankful.

Me and Leija just goofed off that lesson, lol. Not being annoying to anyone else ofc, just yk.

Then we had P.E. or well, I didn't. My wounds where fucking BOLTING and it hurt like HELL. I told my teacher. She looked at my wrist, looked at me, took me to another room and asked the standard stuff.

I answer truthfully.

(I downplayed it)

Anyways. She said a bunch of sentimental pitying stuff but then said:

"Nobody wants you to be gone."

And I resisted crying at that.

I spent the rest of the lesson watching Doctor who. Specifically any episode with Amy and River.

It was fun.

When It was over Leija asked if I wanted to walk around in the mall for a bit. Of course i said yes.

Deim came too.

Before we left i gave Sofia a hug.

She's practically my mum at this point.

Anyways. We sat in the mall for a while. We talked about pointless stuff. Leija gave me a cookie. I said I loved her. It was supposed to be a sort of joke.

She said it back.

Deim said they loved me too.

I hugged them and said it back.

Anyways. I went home. Bus. I took the pencil sharpener I stole from school and..

..figure out the rest.

Yep. I called my sister. I freaked out because I made it too deep. I got it to stop bleeding.

I don't have anymore urges right now, so ill be fine tonight.

Anyways. Orchestra tonight. Fun.

It'll be fun.

[tatoasting]

Just got stuck at work an extra hour. And by that I mean I got lost as hell delivering a pizza I should have just denied because it was 20 minutes to clock out and it was 11 minutes away @.@ anyways so I get lost trying to find this apartment. All the buildings are layed out completely randomly and I get a very unsafe feeling from the area. As if a lost pizza boy was killed here once before. Its dark, im alone, wandering. I see a sign that says no loitering & to get to where you're going quickly and get inside. It seems like its warning me for my safety more than anything else. So I finally find the building I need but the apartment is on the other side and as I'm walking, about 15 minutes into walking around looking for this place, three pizzas and a 2 litre in my hands weighing me down, this huge group of kids starts running and screaming in unison saying like, "oh no!! Its that dog! Run!" And I'm like, a 5 minute walk (in the direction they are running from) back to my car at this point, still holding these pizzas, accepting my fate while casually walking around this building. I finally get the delivery done and I cautiously walk through the park, eyes forward, not causing any problems for any scared or otherwise violent puppies. I get back to my car 20 minutes after my shift should have ended and go to drive back. My GPS takes me straight through some school event that just went on and I have to watch all these kids cross right in front of my car like I dont have somewhere to be. I finally get back and i had been gone an hour. Everything is closing. I feel like a ball of radiation has been spiked into my throat and it will be the end of me. I hold it together. I make my pizza. I give the store like $20 because reasons or something?? And I go home and eat my pizza alone and its the happiest moment ive had all day the end.

[sajaffery]

haawwww....

Three months now. More then three months if im honest with my self but I don’t want to sit here and count the number of days and hours because it may sound impresseive but its only going to depress the living hell out of me, more so then the three month figure does already. I haven’t written a word for that length of time. Not a word worth reading anyway. I begin and end sentences nearly everyday but the minute I finish typing them I want to delete them. They embarrase me. They embarrase my laptop. They embarrass me more then muy spelling has ever embarrassed me. I’ve always told myself a writer doesn’t need to be able to know how to spell. Punctuation grammer spelling these are all just rules created by dead white men and nobody listens to them anymore, everyone just listens to twitter now, we live in a world of 140 characters and if you’re unable to express the entire vision of your thoughts and philosophy within a 140 characters then you’re a dinosaur and should be put out if its misery. And you will be. By a barrage of abuse from the twitterati who live in a world where context has no meaning and a sentence that can’t be expressed in a 140 characters has no relevance. The modus oparandi is simple. If you’re not with is then you’re against us and we will gang up on you and shame you into irrelevance. but i still cant spell. and my grammer is horrendous and if it wornt for spell check i would have crashed and burned out of every educaional institution i ever step foot in. which i sort of did anyway. maybe not crash and burn. just fizzle and slink out. a lot like the sentences ive been typing and the thoughts ive been trying to express for the last three months. maybe everything ive ever done has fizzled and slunk out. im still editing this document. i cant help it. i choose to type this onlne so that autocorrect which i’m addicted to like crack wont jump in and start correcting my mistakes but i keep doing it myself eveerytime i stop to try and think. the squiggly red lines come underneath and i start right clicking and improving what i have already typed.

[anarchistbitch]

HIIIIII I AM FINALLY FREE FROM THE HELL THAT WE REGULARLY REFER TO AS COLLEGE ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

briefly(3 weeks and 5 days to be precise) but anyway, im tired, there's one class that idk if im gonna fail but im just glad to be done with it for now

how have you been?? ive been thinking of talking to you for such a long while uuuggghhhh but n e ways, i hope youre doing great and send you tons and tons of hugs to make up for the time i've been gone

i'd tell you im gonna read the sxf manga rn but ive got so many things on my list and i havent progressed with any of them bc ive been gaming, there's kinnporsche, and cutie pie, and semantic error, an endless list of books, so many fics too, my three weeks and 5 days are not going to be enough for sure

yeah, s2 was way more messy, but well, it's fictional and enjoyable to watch, benedict i felt was 2 seconds away from jumping him but theyre cowards so i wasnt expecting it

did you end up finishing cbaw?? 👀 btw, im gonna watch fire island tonight bc of you reblogging so many things about it cause i hadnt heard of it at all

i havent read a single thing ugh, idk if i mentioned that i was reading vermillion bird but i havent even continued that one, even tho i watched the donghua and it was good as hell, at this point i wont even login to goodreads cause ill be too ashamed to see the 0/4

i didnt even know there was a semantic error novel lmao, i started the manhua and might watch the la soon but that might is quite stretched

i was reading the lady needs a break or something like that, ive seen so many variations of its english name, it's about this girl that has been reencarnated so many times, remembering every single life and is just done with life and wants to laze around but her plan keeps getting spoiled by her being unable to ignore situations that she sees as unfair or generally disagrees with as well as other plot reasons, i wouldnt say it's high literature or whatever but ive enjoyed reading it despite several moments where i just feel unimpressed lmao

smzs was fantastic, 100/10, so much fun :'3 i wanna watch it with my friends sometime soon but theyre still in classes so it's gonna have to wait

hearstopper ahhhh it was great and i cant wait to see what alice meant exactly with big asexual plans, need me that rep

did you hear about the bts hiatus-not-hiatus?? thoughts on that??? honestly i think they said it wasnt really a separation to bring down the chaos somewhat bc everyone was already crying their eyes out, i feel they went "sheesh" and backed up a bit lmao on a serious note tho im glad theyre taking a break, recently after the announcement i saw two reels that just made me get out of the saddened state, one was about how the op hoped somewhere in the multiverse jk got to live his childhood and the other one was that one time they realized they could go home directly after the shoot, they really have sacrificed so much of their time to this and it's heartbreaking bc yeh, it's their dream but it does not replace family and friends

also, i cant with the memes about joe biden being sold to bts, i think of them and laugh randomly through the day

and yes, i want to tattoo jin's speech in my forehead bc i need to remember it more often

FEVER BY ENHYPEN WAS A MOMENT, it's so fucking good, i think i said in my last ask but i really like their vampire/supernatural concept

i am eagerly awaiting holland's bl, idk what it's about but i hope it wrecks me

did you finish the god of highschool??? it's so fucking good and well, halfway through i BAWLED, damn i wanna rewatch it now, i LOVE the fight scenes and the op makes me wanna stand up and start kicking stuff

heavy by yonaka is so SEXY, makes me think of like a noir movie heroine

re:gooey by glass animal yeeeees indeed, it's just perfect for that, and i though more brownies buuuuuuuut chocolate deserts exactly 😌

sxf does not dissapoint EVER lmao, it's comedy gold and yeah, yuri pls chill, and the thing about anya's performance at school is just agh, cause, i dont remember if it's canon or if it was just an analysis i saw floating around on here, about her having lied about her age and it would add so much bc she's trying her best and i seriously understand trying your best and still not seeing the results you'd hope for and if she's younger then she's already doing so damn good for her age, not to mention that she was in a shitty af orphanage for who knows how long, i cant imagine she got good education there, so yeah it's comedy gold but it has so much heart, what a great show :'3

KJSDHJFSGJFG THE THING ABOUT MIKA SHOVING HIS FINGERS IN SOMEONE'S MOUTH SJHJSFHJFH THAT WAS SOMETHING OK BUT IM NOT GONNA SPOIL YOU BUT LIKE THAT WAS SOMETHING

ok i can be normal now(lie) djkfhjsdhfjd look, i, sdjkhsjfhd, it's something alright, and with context it's so fucking different but still kfhkdsf i cant wait for you to watch/read it, the manga has so many scenes that make me put my phone down to breathe and it's art style doesnt help, in the anime they look softer

and yes i think of you often <3 hope you're eating well and resting enough!

-M<3

i know ive done this many times, but id like to begin answering by apologizing for the delay[ik u said its okay but its fine if u were frustrated]

i really wish i couldve answered this a few weeks earlier because i wanted to wish you the happiest pride month with better months to come!! i hope it still holds true

BUT ALSO HELL YEAH WOOOO FREE FROM COLLEGEEEE!!!!

i do hope that class went well[on that note, smth similar happened to one of my subjects: long story short, it wasnt fine for a bit but now its fine-ish, if it was the same for u i hope it continues to be well and then better💗💗💗💗]

i have been well!!! ive been in good health but how have you been!!! i hope you see cats , and ice cream trucks/ or little convenience stores with reasonably priced ice creams and chocolates!!![if u hate both maybe drinks? u strike me as a fanta person] ive been thinking of ways to talk to u too!! but it istg tumblr has some agenda against me cause it glitches so weird!! truly home of phobia😔[NOW SEE,, if i posted this during pride month i couldve also landed a joke about "during pride month??". truly my own enemies art mine own actions]. i am hugging u rn so if you feel warm rn thats me!! and if u feel cold in ur hands thats me holding ur hand with my ice cold hands hehe[im distantly related to mbj. sorry🧊🧊<-ice demon emoji for hearts<3]

i have so much to get through and its very ❕❕❕❕❕[<-overwhleming] so im taking everything as slow as possible but i am watching a few things rn like cutie pie and sxf so i get u. but also do tell me ur thoughts on everything regardless!! i like knowing what u think!! [also on cutie pie: idk if u started but i did and i think its a pretty good show and i think u'd like it 🤗 ]

bro i totally thought that benedict was gonna join in and s2 would be those 3 navigating a queer poly relationship in s2 while dealing with societal rules and "decorum" as it was in the 1800s

i did not finish the cbaw kdrama[im kinda abandoning all the shows ive left in the middle and coming back to them fresh in a year or around that time ]

re: fire island. i aim to inspire😔

oh goodreads isnt even that social but boy does it bully you hfksjksf[changed my reading goal to 1 book and now im 1200% done<3<3 beat the system<3 or beat up the system<3]

by the sounds of it she needs a break sheesh. high literature is fake ,if its doesnt bring u joy in some sort of way approach it like a snake[with care and curiosity] and i will check it out[in the future!!]

ive rewatched smzs so many times it really doesnt get old🥰 hope u and ur friends get to see it while eating smth really good!![personal rec is soup cuz im a soup fanatic!][also teeny tiny story but i once watched a show when i was younger and very impressionable ,and one character mentioned hating soup and i was like "ykw i will also hate soup now" and i felt horrible for like a week after that cuz i love soup!! moral of the story: soup is about warmth and love and also a form of rebellion against the deep nihilism engraved in society]

whats ur favourite soup? mine is sweet corn soup cause i used to have it a lot as a kid! and rn i favour egg drop!

heartstopper ahhhh!! i wanna see what they meant by big asexual plans too!!

bts does need a hiatus just for like letting ppl get into the know about what all they done -bbmas, run bts, bon voyage, beyond the screen , in the soop, literally all the concerts, not including solo work and so much more . and its been 9 years since theyve debuted and like namjoon said its hard to improve or grow urself in a field of constant expectations, so if they go to paris or a museum im glad they want to share it as well yk?

writing this in small cause even though i mean this genuinely i also feel a bit cringe😭so like ik theyve sacrificed a lot , not a little ,a lot and even though theyve reached a level of success that is quite hard to achieve without real talent and a lot of support, i do wonder what wouldve happened in another world if they didnt decide to pursue their current career. and yk. i hope theyre happy in both. also i hope in another world we wouldve crossed paths a little closer, m.

hope joe robinette can finally pay those student loans😢 and gets to live his best reverse harem explicit lemon 100k wip wattpad fanfic<3

ooooh wait if i also tattoo it on my brain😳😳 we'll have matching tattoos😳

i dont follow enhypen but yes it was a MOMENT i remember the first time i heard fever i was like "waiiiiittt a sec"

NOTE: above image is supposed to represent my enthusiasm about the song and nothing else. thank u for ur time

wait didnt holland release a song for it!!! im listening to it rn and its a freaking bop!!!

i couldnt start the god of highschool (￣ ‘i ￣;) but bro . bro why did it make u cry. bro answer me [<- person who is even more motivated to start it once they have enough time]

oooh i do like noir movie heroine!! and also . thats kinda a spot on vibe??

dude i kinda made a mistake associating that song with brownies/desserts cuz now whenever i hear that song im hungryyyy

anya! is ! such ! a ! cool ! character! the thing is idk if shes actually younger than six but if she is then she is technically performing better than any average child at that age would be[when i was six we already started multiplication and also at six i had an impulse to lick window cause of hansel and gretel<3] and shes just so near and dear to my heart💗💗 and also theres this thing about loid being an exemplary spy , but still fatherhood being his toughest mission like iktr

mika shoving his fingers in someones mouth is a spoiler therefore implying major plot significance got ya😊👍🏾

i might actually read the manga before the anime cause im a sucker for cool art [love animation too but as i said , im kinning a snail for the next few months<3 ]

i think of u quite often and hope ur well safe and have lots of food!!!

a song rec: every pore by tamino

love, kit

idk if u wanted to know and i feel. a bit weird about sharing this at all but the main reason for not answering this in so long is cause im in a weird headspace. which haha i mean who isnt right? but a lot of things changed in two months and like i can feel im in that stage you are right before a huge burnout and im trying to not? burnout? and my support system rn isnt the best rn and yea. im doing less than ok but just above being crushed. hopefully it passes and also hope this never happens in mine or anyones life again lol

making u read that might have u bummed out but if u read that [firstly sorry] [and secondly just, thank u for sending that first ask at all<3][my good bitch what do you want for your birthday][i think of u everyday lol][and also these last few months ive learnt to say i love you more freely without it being some huge moment at all, so i'd like to say: i love you. i truly do. idc that we've never seen each other. if u ever feel lonely just know that im rooting for u forever][💗💗💗💗💗]