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absolutebl · 3 months

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Do you have any recent recommendations for JBL TaiwanBL and KBL? Been rewatching only bls from 2021 2022 and I feel like I'm out of the loop for the more recent ones.

Maybe something from this year or late last year?

Great JBL, TaBL, and KBL from 2023 & first half 2024

asker added:

Genre = mostly anything. But pls avoid homophobic trauma (like Jazz for Two).

Fair. Okay here we go!

2023 Recs!

I picked mostly 9s and 10s for you with a few 8s I felt specifically might suit your taste.

I Cannot Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

Japan Netflix

This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt almost honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

Our Dating Sim

Korea Viki

This is a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. I adored every aspect from the casting to the pristinely simple premise to the quietly smooth execution. Sure it’s low stakes, but that makes it high domesticity and extremely warm and gentle. This is a fuzzy blanket of a story - a cozy BL. It lives in my rewatch pile and you know what’s best about it? Every single episode is in that pile. There’s no skipping with this one, it might be good natured and calmly sweet but it’s tight and the pacing is excellent.

I don't hand out 10/10 often (over 700 BLs watched, stil don't hvae 10 10/10s yet), these both got that from me in 2023. I consider both of them perfect BLs.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho

Japan Gaga

This style of live action yaoi really only works from Japan. Basically: boys who fell in love in college end up living together but both are so repressed they actually don't realize they're in love. It's higher heat than we usually get from Japan's HEA stuff, and that part is also very well done, but it leaned into the "why don't they just talk for fuck's sake?" trope which is only exacerbated into undiluted frustration by the fact that they're already fucking. It's great, but watching requires more patience than usual, even for Japan.

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku

Japan Gaga

A lonely salaryman (+ talented cook) gets accidentally adopted by a college kid and his little brother. I was always gonna love this show if they stuck to the original yaoi (which is very dear to my heart). And they did! Paralleling it almost exactly. It’s a quiet & cozy little parable of found family alleviating loneliness. Possibly too slow for some but definitely high up there for me as the best of what Japan can do with softness (like Restart After Come Back Home). It’s only flaw (if I dare say such a thing) is that it is not really “romantic.” Lovely & sweet but the romance beats are being used to build a family relationship, not just couple intimacy, but that's OK with me. This is a very safe show for anyone to watch.

Jun and Jun

Korea Viki

A delightful office romance about an ex-idol who joins cubical life only to find his new boss is his first love. Others boys are sniffing around too. Operative word being "sniffing" as much of this romance involves smell. With a snappy (sometimes even raunchy) script, enjoyable sides, a pretty as peaches cast, and descent chemistry this show made up for in style what it lacked in substance. I like fluff. I loved this. I smiled every moment I was watching. With tons of rewatch potential (especially the last few eps), my only caution is this is for fans of the BL genre only, I don’t think it’ll work for anyone else.

Love Tractor

Korea iQIYI

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, just all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. But (and you knew there was a “but” comg) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different and too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

The New Employee

Korea Viki

So good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also found family and a lesbian bestie. Sweet & innocent (and out) Seung Hyun scores the office internship of his dreams. On his first day at work he gets into it with his cool reserved (and also v gay) boss. As you do. Frankly? This is what I wanted from this new crop of office set KBLs ALL ALONG. Rainbow rice cakes forever! Directed by queer activist Kim Jho Gwang Soo (Just Friends?) partly set in the same neighbourhood as the To My Star house. Gotta love WATCHA (Semantic Error, Light on Me).

Unintentional Love Story

Korea iQIYI

OMG the plot, forced into a totally understandable betrayal, falling in love despite himself, put into a corner he can't get out of, the AGONY, the eyes EMOTING at us in PAIN A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was lumous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). I’m not sure on rewatchability, and it didn’t whip me into a verbal frenzy the way some KBLs do, but it still gets a solid 9/10 for those damn eyes alone.

A Breeze of Love

Korea iQIYI

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it.

Bon Appetit

Korea iQIYI

Romance between an office worker the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd.

Why R U?

(Korean adaptation of Thai original) iQIYI

Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, slightly confusing, uneven chemistry, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate it? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell?

It did, however win my best kiss of 2023 which is why it's on this list.

Stay By My Side

Taiwan Viki

I wanted to pick SOMETHING from Taiwan but my other two options both had lots of trauma in them. So I'm going with this one.

This show was an interesting take on the "ghost boyfriend" trope. About a boy who is tormented by hearing the dead, except when he is around one other boy - desperation+proximity = love. Unfortunately, the story was erratic and waffled about. While the leads turned in solid performances and the sappy domesticity was off the charts, it never really had the strength of the narrative convictions such a strong concept should have supplied. Highly rewatchable and enjoyable for that sappy domesticity but not a whole lot more. Still I always give extra credit for the diabetes-inducing sugar content and rewatch capacity.

And some suggestions from 2024

I'm only suggesting stuff that has finished it's run and isn't currently airing.

Although I Love You and You AKA Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

Japan Gaga

The promise of this show, younger cook courts older divorced office worker, should have been my catnip. I mean if someone pitched this to me in an elevator I would have downloaded it by the second storey. Unfortunately, it did not exactly fulfill that promise, not in the way I'd hoped. Did I still enjoy the ride, yes, but I feel just a little let down.

Living With Him AKA Kare no Iru Seikatsu

Japan Gaga

Kindly Ryota goes to uni and ends up rooming with his former childhood bestie, Kazuhito. Kazuhito doesn’t have a girlfriend for, as it turns out, cute roommate reasons. Same director as Old Fashion Cupcake, the framing is gorgeous and it is a stylish piece. As a friends to lovers cohabitation narrative this was a classic 2000s sweet yaoi. I enjoy that kind of tradition out of Japan even if it (and the characters) come off as a little slow as a result. Still, it's nice to get a traditional BL out of Japan that is satisfying, not slapstick, AND did not hurt us.

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treysimp · 2 years

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Would you ever do the staff for the bath headcannon ? I love the third years one btw 🥰

It's time babe! I hope you enjoy!

Taking A Bath With Them - GN!Adult Reader/NRC Staff (Crowley, Crewel, Vargas, Trein, Sam)

Rating: T (Lightly suggestive themes)

Tags: Reader's body not described nor are pronouns used, non-sexual domestic intimacy and fluff, elements of body worship, implied body insecurity from reader, established relationship, how do I make myself fall in love with each character I write for guys please explain to me.

Words: 3k

Silly author's notes: Not that I’ve been seeking it out but it feels like I never see anyone trying to put the moves Vargas (like I’m sure you exist, Vargas-fuckers where you at?) so since all of you are so fucking complicated I’m gonna do it! Fluffy domestic garbage for all!

Want more TWST? Here's my masterlist!

Dire Crowley:

‘Never judge a book by its cover, but tattered books don’t get picked off the shelf,’ is probably a quote Crowley heard in passing one time and then immediately tried to contribute to himself. Being the headmaster of a famous and prestigious school involves a lot of hard work, but you can never forget about appearances. Clothes make the man, and if the said man in those clothes doesn’t pull them off, what is even the point of wearing them? It feels like a lecture every time that you and Crowley bathe together, but you can’t say that you necessarily say that you disagree either. If anything, it was a trademark of NRC to be the flashy talented bad boy counterpart to the pure princes of Royal Sword Academy. Public perception seemed to ebb and flow as far as which one was the superior institution, but you would never tire of Crowley’s antics to show up Ambrose and improve NRC’s reputation. You may wonder, does Crowley remove his mask when bathing? And the answer is yes, but it is replaced with a gel pearl mask to ‘get rid of his horrendous eye-bags’ Crowley would say. You would wonder who would even see said eye bags, but you felt like you weren’t going to get a better explanation even if you asked.

Since Crowley loves to travel so much, one of the best parts of any vacation is being dragged to a beautiful outdoor hot spring when the ever-busy Headmaster is relaxed for once. He asks over and over ‘isn’t it beautiful here,' or, ‘are you happy with this,’ or even ‘this was nice of me right’? It’s the smallest hint of insecurity and worries that he will readily give. Crowley wants you to enjoy your time together, but a small part of his heart gnaws at him that maybe he missed something crucial and you were just too kind to say something. That you weren’t having a good time, that you didn’t truly think that he was kind, talented, and magnanimous and was just staying with him out of pity.

He hated himself for those thoughts, he truly didn’t believe that you would think of him so, but the stream of questions ran across the back of his closed eyes like an unending scroll of his deepest fears shaped into written reality. Crowley would then hear you tell him how happy you were, gushing about the bath, the clarity of the night sky, and the lovely locale and he could feel his anxiety washing away just like splashes of water on the surrounding tile floors circle down a drain.

He would pull you to his arms and talk about what he wished for the future, any particularly astounding stories from his past, and he would feel a genuine smile whisper across his lips. Maybe he wasn’t as great as he hoped, maybe he wasn’t as kind or as thoughtful, but you were still here in the soft warmth of his arms in this soothing water… and that was more than enough. Maybe he needed to think a little more in the short term, and all that came to mind was the fluttering heartbeat in his chest as your head leaned on his shoulder and his lips met your soft cheek.

Divus Crewel

Crewel is another one for spa treatments and taking great care of your body. He loves to take you into your bath and spoil you with scrubs, oils, and potions of his own making. He is ready to smooth, perfect and tighten every insecurity you have. More than anything, his favorite pastime is stealing you away for a weekend trip to somewhere beautiful where you both can be pampered.

As the man is also more than a bit into a gorgeous classic car, imagine the most idealized movie setting, the two of you cruising down the coast in a cherry red convertible with fashionable headwear to keep both of your hair behaved while your oversized sunglasses gleam in the sunlight. The word glamor doesn't cover even half of it, but it's a good start.

Expect these trips to be for both business and pleasure: hunting for vintage clothing pieces and fabrics in beautiful locales, scrounging through markets for rare ingredients, and then wasting the rest of the days away at spas, drinking delectable wine and enjoying only the finest foods. You worry that you are too spoiled by him at times, and if you mention this to him, he will just laugh joyfully.

‘If I ruin all other men for you forever, I can’t say I would complain,’ he would joke, smoothing mud from the bath you shared over his shoulders sensually. He already had ruined all other men for you, but you were sure he probably knew that anyway. That was part of what was so lovely between the two of you, there was so much left unsaid, but never unheard.

You got ready in the morning together, passing products back and forth across the double sinks in a routine. You would get your dinners and pass pieces of the best bites back and forth so that you could both enjoy each taste together. Every task felt routine but oh so comfortable. You would try the same products and give your opinions on them, swapping purchases back and forth based on who’s skin might suit it more, whose hair would behave better with each ingredient, and so on.

Students at NRC would try to distract Crewel during class by asking him when he was going to marry you, and most of the time he would throw back some sort of ‘maybe when you get an A on an essay one of these days,' if he was feeling snappy. It was hard to miss the way his eyes would crinkle any time you were mentioned and how his mood would be notably lifted for the rest of class. This isn’t to say that he was any less harsh on his students, but they did see him smile more, so the criticism would be just a bit softer as a result. You would know these days too, as he would pull you into a bath and massage your neck while he laughed heartily at the shenanigans of his classes.

That was another thing you so loved about these quiet bathtimes, getting to see all of the faces and responses that he kept hidden just for you.

You were so lucky.

Happiness.

Ashton Vargas

Your meatheaded darling did mean well, but… he was just one of those people that thought that you could muscle through everything. Unfortunately, he had built enough muscle that he has been proved right so far. While Ashton was quite self-obsessed and would flinch in fear every time he imagined that he lost even a centimeter of calf muscle, he never would give you any grief about how your body looked in the slightest. He was very encouraging and would do everything he could to get you to (healthily) build up your stamina and strength, but there was never a time that he would get frustrated with a failure you had. If you’re a person who cries when they’re frustrated, he will wipe them away. If you are someone who yells or wants to throw things when they’re frustrated, he will give you a ball and let you go ham against a wall until you’re cooled off enough for a hug. Vargas wasn’t always book smart, but he was intuitive to others’ needs in a way that few people are.

Ashton is very enthusiastic about bathing, which is good for you because you get a great view while soaping up. Since he’s such a show-off, Vargas will wait on you hand and foot to get a chance to flex a muscle, flip his thick hair over his shoulder or sparkle his perfect white teeth your way.

He just wants to make sure that you feel just as beautiful as he knows he is. He wouldn’t do this for just anyone, you know? You’re special, even when you might not agree with him. There was no arguing with him, if the peak physical specimen of himself thought you were worthy of bodily worship, how could you deny him? Are you saying that he isn’t gorgeous? His big blue eyes will sparkle in dramatic unshed crocodile tears at the thought. Oh? Did you say he is gorgeous? Well, then you are too. Beautiful people know how to spot beautiful things, and the only way you could argue that he was wrong was by saying that he wasn’t beautiful.

His logic made you want to hit your head against a wall, but when a man with the body of a goddamn superhero tells you that he thinks you’re hot it’s pretty hard to disagree with him. If you still try to fight it, prepare for over-the-top compliments while he forcefully tries to make you relax and go along with his praise. We are talking scrubbing behind your ears and saying that you have ‘well-formed lobes’ kind of compliments. You like that he’s complimenting you, but you also don’t know how to respond either.

More than anything, his hugs are to die for. During a bath, after a bath, once you are both snuggled in bed and comfortable? Heavenly, all of it.

Vargas loves to talk you to sleep, both of your plans for the next day, going over when and where you are taking your next vacation, and giving suggestions for what muscle groups he thinks would most benefit you to build. Hell if you tell him that makes you uncomfortable or you aren’t able to follow through, he will immediately change his plans and make variations to be kinder to your back, your knees, neck, ankles, etc. Never underestimate a man who knows anatomy better than geography. This goes double when you grab a map and realize that one trip that he told you was a 'two-hour drive’ from Night Raven was actually a fifteen-hour one, even with the help of the mirrors.

Oh well, his confidence was something you loved, no matter how correct he may or may not be.

Mozus Trein:

Trein was almost hilarious with how soft and tender he treated those he cared about versus the strict and stern History teacher exterior that he gave off.

Something that drew you to him was seeing how tenderly he cared for his daughters. All three of them had all flown the nest at this point, but seeing him smile softly while he penned them letters as he scratches Lucius’ chin and murmured conversation to the cat was something that made your heart melt.

You had been brushing up on your animal languages to better talk to Lucius too, and you could make out the gist of what he says now. As you suspected, he is not the most polite to others, but he is relatively quick to befriend those that bother to talk to him and offer treats that he likes. Due to these habits, you get along quite well. You try to ask for secrets about Mozus, but Lucius won’t always answer. The only consistency you can make out is that it seems like the cat will only answer you when he thinks it’s funny, but his sense of humor can be a bit difficult to work out.

Trein is not one for much intimacy, he is more one to enjoy mutually comfortable silences. He has had a lot of time to work out every habit and isn’t overly open to doing things outside of them, but a soak with bath salts or some other kind of medicinal mixture suits him quite well. Trein humors your wants and needs and is more than willing to go along with any ‘couples’ treatments you might be interested in within reason.

Surprisingly, he is open to doing things like acupuncture, fire cupping, and various types of experimental medicines, but if you ask him to get a facial his eyebrow will be stuck in a skeptical arch for the entirety of the experience. You were able to snap a picture of him making this face while wearing a green clay mask with cucumbers over his eyes. You treasure the photo, but you will never show it to him as you know he will be horrified at how undignified he looks. Part of his charm, you think.

Overall the greatest treat of all is seeing the relaxed smile that creeps onto his features when he is truly relaxing. It felt like something special just for you, sneaking a sleepy peek at him in the evening: relaxing in a silken robe, reading a novel, glasses perched on his strong nose, sipping at chamomile tea, and wearing the softest smile. It made your chest feel so warm that you got to see these small and simple moments. Everyday moments were the most special, you thought. Perhaps this simple comfort is what happiness truly is.

He will see you staring at him, invite you over for a chat and then wrap his arm around you and bring you to bed. He tucks you in tightly, much like one would do a child. His eyes soften when he does it, you suppose there must be a lot of pleasant memories attached to the action. Once he is satisfied with the bedding, he climbs in next to you, giving you a pleasant peck on the forehead before turning off the light. You hear the pitter-patter of little fluffy feet walking in a circle, a huff, and then a perfectly elegant flop and a warmth near your right foot. You sleep soundly, waking up every so often to feel a hand fixing the blanket that you repeatedly kept throwing off of your shoulder and another kiss on your temple as soon as it was finished.

Happiness.

Sam

As the youngest and least academically-focused staff member, Sam seemed always eager to prove himself. This was especially funny to you, considering how his ‘friends’ gave him such a leg up in almost every situation that you wondered why he ever felt less-than.

Sam had worked his salesman voice to near perfection, had an in with almost every vendor of note, came from a famously powerful family, was strikingly handsome, stylish, and had a killer smile…

Okay, you were wandering off topic here, but how could you help it?

His magenta eyes would flick to yours in passing and you found yourself not being able to think of everything but him. You wanted to joke that his signature spell was how he took your breath away, but that one was all him. You weren’t even sure if he knew how breathtaking he was, moving through each room like a tap dancer one Maxi Ford away from a full routine.

The theatricality that he brought to everything he did made you feel similar anticipation to being in a theater, hoping and praying that the handsome lead actor would look down at you specifically during a pivotal scene. For the sake of your heart, you were glad that somehow you had succeeded in catching his gaze the same way he had yours.

When it came to bathing, he enjoyed it. As the local ‘literally-everything’ supplier, he always had something to surprise you with if you wanted a fun gimmick in the bath, but he had his own perfect set of potions to maintain his stylishly dyed hues. You weren’t entirely sure if his particular swirl of hair colors was natural or magicked into place, and the few times you thought to ask Sam, he would just put one finger in a ‘shush’ motion over his mouth with and wink. It was hard to deny that his cheeky mysteriousness wasn’t appealing though.

If Sam was having a particularly good time, he might try to entice you in a cute little deal or ‘give you an offer you couldn’t possibly refuse’.

It was a relatively silly game because the cost for all of these handshake deals was always ‘a kiss’ which you would gladly give him regardless of if he gave you something in return. You liked the goofy smile he would give you after you agreed, so you indulged him regardless. He sometimes would act shy and murmur something about ‘stealing his first kiss’ (he made this joke from your second kiss onwards) but would quickly give up the ghost to cover your face in playful smooches and thread his hands at the nape of your neck so you couldn't move away from his lovesick gaze.

You’ve seen no true gentleman before in your life if you haven’t seen Sam at a proper ballroom soiree. Letting his relaxed slouch straighten into an elegant straight back and properly dressed to the nines, it seemed like he belonged under a spotlight. Sam was an amazing dancer, singer, card player, gambler, smooth talker, and pianist. He seemed to be accomplished in yet another hobby each time an acquaintance of his would say hello and jokingly admonish him for not showing off some hereto unknown skill of his. He would take the friendly jabs well, say ‘perhaps another time’, and then introduce his ‘charming companion’ (you) to them all in turn. Saying each word as fresh and new as the first time, though the words were practically a script for him at this point.

The ultimate renaissance man, truly.

Once you both were exhausted and came back to your home, you would bask in each other’s company. His voice raspy from overuse of the night, he whispered his thanks to you for accompanying him. You interrupt his soon-to-be soliloquy to say, ‘how could I possibly refuse an invitation from the most beautiful man I know?’. His eyes would crinkle with laughter from your response and he would pull you close, exhaling into your hair while the exhaustion of the night hits him like a well-anticipated crescendo.

Sam idly thought that out of the two of you, the power you held over him was far stronger than any spell he knew.

It was this time of night that you thought he looked his youngest, chortles losing all of their rehearsed and powerful baritones, words spilling out messily, sentences punctuated with ‘ah’s and ‘um’s.

Sleepy magenta met your eyes and you would decide to finally drag Sam off to bed, tucking him under your fluffy comforter with care. He fell asleep on a dime, and when he was sleeping you felt like you could see the angelic face he must have had as a child.

You couldn’t wait to see what you both did together tomorrow. Maybe you’d even tell him that you loved him.

You weren’t going to be able to stop yourself from blurting it out sooner or later anyway.

So who was your fav? Dying to know. I ran away from the bath theme a bit but it was all from a place of love, I promise. Have I convinced you to simp for someone new? Let me know!

Love you, reader! 💋

Requested tags: @stygianoir (hope you liked it!) @yandere-kou, @daeda21, @buckketboy, @aikochan4859, @kumiko-desu, @prince-zukohere, @fragmentedstarlight, @sarahyumiko2, @sappyisyourpappy, @rebel-faes-writing, @witch-waycult, @dari-kun, @riddle-simp, @naniky, @the-mermaid-of-the-stars

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arabidfangirl · 2 years

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Thoughts on Mile and Apo after the KinnPorsche World Tour Manila show:

First, let's talk about their looks...

Apo is the human personification of this meme:

He's so pretty in real life. Like, I know he's already so good-looking in photos and videos but nothing compares to him in person. I literally gasped when I saw him. His beauty is unreal.

Excuse my shitty mobile's camera (I also had to zoom in for this) but I just had to share this man's face.

Mile's physique is so... He's broad. He might not be as broad as he was pre-KP but I finally understood why he looks bigger than Apo even though they're practically the same height. His waist is tiny, too. Kudos to whoever's styling him because his pants do his ass and legs so much justice.

Also, he's really pale. It's funny because he looks like Edward Cullen in my videos because the spotlight on him just created a glare for my camera.

Trust me when I say I made so many attempts at trying to get him to look less glare-y in this video.

Second, let's talk about their stage presence...

Apo was truly born to be a star. The charisma just oozes out of him. I can't pinpoint how exactly, but I just know there was a point during the show where I just had to stop recording to stare at him in awe. I've met celebrities up close and personal before but this was one of the few times I was truly starstruck.

It makes KinnPorsche the Series even more special because the world would've lost this presence from its screens.

Mile, on the other hand, reminds me of that quote about Marilyn Monroe being able to switch her persona on and off. By that I mean, Mile knows when to turn on the charm so all eyes are on him and he knows when to dim it so he doesn't steal the spotlight from others. Like, I don't know how else to say it. I mean, obviously you'd still see him on the stage but it's like he's giving you permission to look away from him for a bit.

I don't know, man... But it does make me curious how'd things would have gone if he decided to pursue his rockstar dreams.

Lastly, let's talk about MileApo...

I'm gonna be real. When I went into this (the concert), I didn't expect to feel the same level of kilig (or giddiness) I experienced watching the show. I figured a lot of those feelings came from the post-prod additions, like background music and romantic editing. Yes, Mile and Apo have chemistry. But that can translate differently when you see them in real life.

(Lemme just give a quick example. I have been a TayNew fan for years. I think they have great chemistry, specifically romantic chemistry. But when I saw them earlier this year, I realized that their "real life" chemistry was very bro-coded. Like, they're really good friends who are very comfortable with each other.)

So imagine my surprise when I realized that Mile and Apo's chemistry off-screen is just as striking. There's a fondness in their interactions with each other that I would posit as something akin to domesticity. There's something so wholesome about it, something so safe and secure... It's hard to put into words but it was like looking at a warm hug shared between two people who've found comfort in each other.

Again, I don't know... This was just my observation. I mean, I'm also a firm believer in the concept of a soulmate doesn't have to be a romantic partner, just someone who makes you whole. It looked like that to me. But hey, you don't have to take my word for it.

#kpwt manila #kinnporsche #mileapo #mile phakphum #apo nattawin

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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year

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Fluff Headcannons for Jason Voorhees

because it just so happens to be a 13th on a friday- to clear things up before i get started, im unfortunately not taking requests for slashers TToTT at least not yet, i might if my rot comes back though side note jason was such a comfort character last year i kinda miss him but im not quite ready to part with my current hyperfixiation heres to hoping writing this doesnt end that rot short

torn between giving him a soft n sweet partner and a partner whos tough and independent (but still loving, of course); because i can truly see him being interested in both. perhaps a caring s/o who can take the initiative is what would work for him. maybe thats because i read so many fics/hcs where jason in a domestic setting is like. trying to be a soft stereotypical house husband though

which he totally would be imo, like sure he's not perfect but you can tell his intentions when hes insisting to clean up the cabin for you

if this is before zombie jason he is so so so fucking warm, best cuddle buddy; post zombie hes cold, though :(

speaking of cuddling hes a cuddle bug, and generally craves loads of physical and verbal affection. now will he outwardly ask? not in the beginning i think, far too shy about it and he doesnt know the best way to ask thanks to his inexperience

"oooooh what if you hold his face and give it kisses" i think, but in the beginning i dont think he would even let you anywhere near his face; and if you're short enough, no where near his head. if this is something you want to do youre going to have to be slow, steady, and reassuring with him. its likely you wont even see his face for years after the relationship is begun unless an accident happens and his mask slips and/or breaks

only knows how to make basic bare bones meals but if you were to teach him and have a means to getting ingredients he's going to be soaking up that information and hes going to be like an eager puppy when you offer to teach him

cooking with your partner and enjoying each others presence >>>>

now lets spoil this man for a minute, since its kinda his day. he keeps a hold on literally every single gift you give him. if its something he can wear he wears it like a badge of honor. if its an object he will make sure its in tip top condition while also being used so its not forgotten.

this may be a little self projection though, but i think he would also be wary of gifts too; not because he doesnt appreciate them. he does. just too much, scared that he's going to lose or break the gift

please give him reassurance that you don't mind otherwise hes going to silently brew over it while holding something as basic as a flower you handed him

flowers

get this man flowers

i always read about jason giving the reader flowers, which i 100% he would do, but can we spoil this man too! i think he would like daises and sunflowers

but maybe thats because when i think those flowers i think nature idk

give this man a dandelion RIGHT NOW!!! let him experience the childhood that was stolen from him

this was originally gonna be longer but its like 8am and i need to do things this morning and im too stubborn to save drafts/i know ill forget to finish this but happy friday the 13th

#slasher x you #slasher x reader #jason voorhees x you #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees imagine #slasher imagine

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lilcatdraws · 5 months

Text

Crack A Smile and Cut Your Mouth

Ledger!Joker Origin Story

Chapter Two - Feels Better In My Head

Warnings: Child abuse, domestic violence, alcoholism

Chapter Summary: Jack hates school and his father. Life sucks and nowhere feels truly safe. He desperately wants a way out...

Author’s Note: I finally got this done! It took me forever. I kept getting stuck towards the middle part. Also, I felt like the last chapter was way too short so this one is a little longer. Anyway I hope you enjoy! <3

Do you guys want a taglist for this series? I'd be happy to add you.

Jack woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon frying. His mother always got up early to cook breakfast. That was his alarm clock.

He yawned and crawled out of bed to get dressed. He kept on the same black t-shirt and pulled on a pair of khaki green cargo pants. He glanced over at his backpack tossed carelessly on the floor next to his nightstand and groaned. He knew he should probably go to school today. He’d already missed so much this year and his mother would pester him about it if he didn’t.

Jack picked up the backpack and stuffed its contents that fell out back in. He grabbed his sketchbook and his Polaroid camera from his dresser and packed them as well. There was no telling when inspiration would strike. He zipped the bag shut and slung it over his shoulder.

Cautiously, Jack walked from his room into the kitchen just in case Scott was still home. Jacqueline noticed him out of the corner of her eye.

“It’s okay. He’s at work.”

Jack relaxed and sat down at the table. It was a sad fact that he felt the most at ease when his father wasn’t home. Jacqueline finished off the bacon and brought it over. Jack snagged a few pieces as she turned to the refrigerator to get something to drink. She returned to the table with a carton of orange juice and sat down next to her son.

“Please go to school today, Jack.” Jacqueline said as she poured him some orange juice.

“I will. But I have to leave early because Mike needs me in the shop today.” Jack told her as he gulped down the juice.

Jacqueline sighed and swept her frizzy blonde curls out of her face. “Okay. At least you’re getting some education today. I just wish you would apply yourself more.”

“I don’t need school, mama. It’s dumb. I’m never gonna use any of it in the real world.”

“It never hurt anybody to be educated,” she kissed his forehead, “Now get going or you’re gonna be late. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Jack replied through a mouthful of bacon as he grabbed his stuff and went out the door.

He climbed into his black pickup truck parked under the carport and started off to school. He mentally prepared himself as he drove. It had been three days since he last went. He was really enjoying the small break but his mom wanted him to go and he didn’t want to disappoint her.

Jack made it to the school and walked in, keeping his head down and avoiding people. He didn’t have any friends. There were a few acquaintances sure, but no one he really hung around or talked to regularly. He was a loner. On days he did attend the whole day, he spent the lunch period by himself and his breaks drawing in his sketchbook.

As depressing as it seemed, it didn’t bother him. He liked being alone.

Jack entered his homeroom and sat down at his desk in the back. He took out a pencil and the notebook he needed and sat them in front of him. This was his first period class, boring as usual. He had no interest in algebra. Too many formulas and confusing rules. So he did what he normally did and doodled in his math notebook instead of taking notes.

His next class, chemistry, was just as hard for him but slightly piqued his interest. Learning about different chemicals and how things worked fascinated him. Especially when they got to talk about radiation and explosions. But today was just bookwork and Jack was bored out of his mind.

Two more hours and I can get out of here…

The last class before lunch was English. Jack hated this subject. It was the most boring out of all his classes, his teacher was awful, and he wasn’t good at reading.

To pass the time, he actually did his work but it was half-assed. He really could care less about schoolwork. Some things he genuinely didn’t understand but he still could’ve put in a little more effort.

Finally, the lunch bell rang and Jack didn’t hesitate darting from the classroom to the parking lot. He made it back to his truck and left the school grounds in the dust, eager to get to work.

He loved his job. Mike was an awesome guy to work for. It didn’t pay much but it was a good first job. Jack helped out in Mike’s repair shop by sweeping, moving equipment, handing him parts, etc.

Jack arrived at the shop and parked out front. He walked around back to the garage where Mike usually was. Mike was a middle aged guy in his late 40s. He was bald, stout, and a little on the shorter side with a graying, bushy brown beard. He had become somewhat of a mentor to Jack over the years.

Today Mike was underneath a small red car fixing something. He noticed Jack and slid out, chuckling. “Aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“I was but Mom said I could leave early for work.”

“Now why do I feel like that’s a half truth? Eh, it doesn't matter to me. It’s not my education you're screwing with.”

“Pfft. I don’t care about school. It’s so dumb. I probably learn more here than I do there.”

Mike shrugged. “I got some stuff for you to do. There’s a few boxes out front with the new tools in them. Move them back here and put them where they go. Then I need you to sweep around the garage. It’s getting filthy.”

Jack nodded and got right to work. He went back to the front and found the boxes sitting at the door. They were unopened and quite heavy but nothing Jack couldn’t lift. He brought them back to the garage and set them down next to the metal cabinets. After opening them, he put all the tools where they belonged and threw away the boxes. Then he grabbed a broom and started sweeping. Dust, dirt, debris, trash, leaves, etc. littered the concrete floors.

Man, I can’t even remember the last time I swept. This is disgusting. Jack thought as he tossed the dustpan on the floor and swept the pile of filth he created into the pan.

Mike’s radio played in the background and Jack nodded quietly along with the music. For over an hour he swept and swept until the floor was finally clean. He dumped the last pile into the trash and propped the broom against the wall, admiring his work. He knew having the shop clean and organized would help out Mike a lot.

Mike looked up from his work and laughed. “Done already? Well, I guess I could teach you how to put in a new transmission. Come here and I’ll show you.”

After an interesting lesson from Mike and a few more hours of odd jobs around the shop, it was time for Jack to go home. He glanced at his watch as he walked back to his truck. He was about to open the door when a glimmer of light caught his eye.

A brown glass bottle was laying in the ditch near the road. He paused for a moment, lost in thought. Suddenly a childhood memory hit him at full speed and there was no stopping it.

Crash!

Glass was sent everywhere as Jack tumbled to the floor. He clutched the back of his head, blood pooling into his hands. He burst into tears as any eight year old would in this terrifying situation. His mother, hearing the commotion, came running into the kitchen. She ignored her seething husband for once and knelt next to her son, peeling away his hands and accessing the wound.

Jaqueline whipped around to face the man responsible, unusually fearless. “Did you do this to him?!”

“Pshhh. So what if I did? The little brat deserved it.” The drunk slurred.

“He needs a hospital, Scott!”

“You ain’t taking him nowhere! He’ll live.” Scott bellowed.

Jacqueline huffed, picked up Jack, and whisked him away to the bathroom where she could treat the wound to the best of her ability. She took a washcloth and ran it under some warm water. Then she fanned out his curls surrounding the gash and cleaned it up with the washcloth. She wiped his bloody hands clean and picked what glass she could out of his hair and the wound. Jack whimpered in pain.

“Shhh. It’s okay, sunshine. It’s okay. Mama’s got this taken care of.” Jacqueline reassured him gently.

Once she got the wound clean, she bandaged it and carried Jack to his room. She put him to bed and kissed him goodnight. Jack’s memory of that night faded from there.

Jack blinked and brought himself back. He sighed and got in the driver’s seat. Before he went home, he wanted to ride around for a bit. He went straight through town and then took a few backroads. He ended up on the main road again out in the countryside. Nothing was out there except the forest and occasional billboards. His hometown truly was in the middle of nowhere.

A nice photo opportunity came up so Jack pulled over in a field nearby. There was a beautiful view of the sunset with the trees underneath. He fished his Polaroid out his backpack and hopped out of the truck. He lowered the tailgate and sat down, positioning his camera into the perfect place. When he got the shot he wanted, he set the camera down and laid back, gazing at the sky.

He wished he could stay here forever lost in his head instead of going home. He dreaded school and he dreaded his house. The only true safe place was going out alone. The streets were once again his safe haven.

Jack finally got a hold of himself and realized how much had passed. As much as he hated to, he really needed to get home. He put the tailgate up and climbed back in. The drive back home was the same as every other day yet he cringed at each familiar landmark he passed and every curve he rounded. Today he was feeling particularly uneasy about going home.

He turned down his street and pulled into his driveway, parking under the carport. His father wasn’t home yet.

Thank God.

As he walked up to the front porch, Jack noticed a pair of glowing yellow eyes underneath the deck. He smiled, knowing exactly who they belonged to.

“Luna, come on out girl. It’s okay.” He coaxed the creature.

A gray cat shimmied out from under the porch and stretched. She meowed and rubbed up against Jack's legs, purring contently.

The neighborhood Jack lived in had a lot of stray cats. He loved animals and they loved him. He enjoyed all the cats he came across but he had a special bond with Luna. She wasn’t technically his cat since she moved throughout the neighborhood but she always found her way back to his house at some point.

Jack reached into his backpack and produced a plastic bag filled with cat treats. He always kept some on him in case he ran into a stray. He grabbed two treats out and sat them down in front of Luna. She nibbled at them gratefully and meowed her thanks.

Jack pet her a few more times before walking up the stairs and entering the house. Jacqueline was in the kitchen washing dishes. Jack could smell dinner cooking. His mother turned around and her face lit up when she saw him.

“Hi sweetie! How was your day?”

“Eh, it was alright. School was pretty boring.”

“Ha. I figured you’d say that. Here, wash up and help me with the dishes.”

…

After Jack helped with washing the dishes and set up the table, the food was ready. Jacqueline took it out of the oven and placed it on the table. As soon as they sat down, Scott came stumbling through the door. The atmosphere in the house suddenly became tense and Jack could feel the temperature drop a few degrees.

“H-hi honey. Dinner’s ready.” Jacqueline said meekly.

Scott smirked. “Heh, you did something right for a change.”

He sat down across from his wife and fixed his plate. Once again Jack was stuck in the middle. He felt his blood boil at his father's haughty attitude. His mom worked so hard for her no good husband only to be treated like dirt.

“How was your day, son?”

“Fine.” Jack replied shortly. He was repulsed by that horrible man calling him son.

Scott nodded half heartedly and turned to Jacqueline. “I’m glad we didn’t have a repeat of last night, dear.”

Jacqueline just looked down timidly. How could he be so cruel? Jack couldn’t keep his mouth shut any longer.

“Last night would never have happened if you came home on time instead of going out drinking.”

Jacqueline's eyes widened in fear. She glanced at Jack, silently pleading with him to be quiet. It was too late. Scott stood up, knocking his chair over, and loomed over Jack.

“What was that, boy?”

Jack just stared back at him unafraid. Scott slapped him hard across the face and sent him to the floor. It all happened so fast, Jack could barely think. Before he knew it, Scott was kicking him in the side until his surge of rage subsided. Jack gasped as the wind was knocked out of him.

Finally Scott stopped and glared down at him angrily. “Don’t you ever question what I do with my time again! It’s none of your business.”

With that he sat down again and went back to eating, completely ignoring his beaten son lying on the floor. All Jack could do was lay there and cry silently. He couldn’t wait until he could finally get away from this hellhole. It would come at a cost but to him it was worth it.

#ledger joker #jack napier #the dark knight #heath ledger #nolanverse #cross posted on ao3 #lilcat writes

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definitelynotshouting · 7 months

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helloooo friend :D !! tis i, bug anon

saw you weren't doing great from previous asks, hope whtever is happening gets better :(

my college searching thing is going a bit (?) better BUT i have major concerns about being discriminated about at the university my parents want me to go to which sucks :/

in other news, i accidentally told a customer "happy valentines gay! :)" and she was like "???? thanks ?" I WAS MORTIFIED DUDE

also! if you don't mind, could you tell me a bit abt your religion/who you worship? the only reason i would ask is bc i saw your prayer thing for jellie and had never heard of that god/goddess before (i believe she's from Egyptian mythology? idk) anyway if you dont feel like sharing, no worries :D

-🐛

HEY BUG ANON!!! :D thank u for the well-wishes, i really appreciate them a ton!! I hope the college searching goes better, it sounds real rough on your end :((( also AKSNAKDNKS HAPPY VALENTINES GAY....... THATS SO FUCKJNG FUNNY HELP MEEEE if someone said that to me while out and about i would be ecstatic truly KSNDWKNDKSNSJSNS

Sure, i can try and give a quick crash course in kemeticism if you're curious!! (As a general disclaimer to any OTHER kemetics who might see this, im gonna attempt to keep this very layman-friendly, so if i skip nuances in favour of simplifying stuff thats why. I'll leave some resources at the end of this post!)

Uhhh okay so kemetic paganism is a neopagan religion based off of ancient egyptian religious practices. There are a lot of different ways folks practice kemeticism-- such as reconstructionism (or recon; aka strict adherence to the rituals of antiquity), revivalism (adapting ancient rituals and practices into the modern era), and eclecticism (for the sake of simplicity, we'll say this is essentially taking several different practices from many other religions and combining them all into one personal practice). I fall somewhere between revivalism and eclecticism, mostly by virtue of also working with Hermes and Loki, though my practice is primarily kemetic in nature.

In short, i worship the ancient egyptian gods-- my patron, or a god whom i am particularly close with and mainly dedicated to, is the cat goddess Bast (also known as Bastet, although thats actually a mistranslation of her name). Bast is known by many epithets, but one translation of her name is "Lady of the Ointments"; its written with the hieroglyphs for a bas-jar (aka a perfume/ointment jar) and a loaf of bread (the "t" sound). She's a solar goddess associated with protection, is an Iryt Ra (Eye of Ra; Goddesses who protect and nurture the sun god Ra), and like many (and i do mean many) other kemetic gods, also holds ties to fertility. In the past she was depicted as a lioness, then later became associated with the domestic housecat, where she picked up additional ties to motherhood; she also began picking up attributes from close association with Het-hert (Hathor), which resulted in further associations with music, dancing, and the arts. She's often depicted holding an aegis (a collar-like necklace with a deity's head on it) and a sistrum (a musical rattle).

She's a very fierce but loving goddess whom i have been worshipping for the last 11 years :] i also work with other kemetic deities-- of my "personal quintet," as i like to joke, i work with Djehuty (Thoth), Sekhmet, and occasionally Sutekh (Set/Seth) and Heru-wer (Horus the Elder). And, ofc, from outside the kemetic pantheon i work with Hermes and Loki, who happens to be my other patron!!

Im very glad that my formal petition to Bast for Jellie has brought those who have seen it some much-needed comfort, and its nice that its also made some people curious about kemeticism!! If youve got any specific questions, feel free to drop me a line off anon or in dms! :] im always happy to chat!!

Some further reading if you're interested:

Per-Bast (a website dedicated to Bast that holds very good information and resources)

Kemetic Starter Guide

Kemetic FAQ

#shouting speaks #asks #i want to avoid posting TOO much about kemeticism outside of relation to my fics and art if only bc this is meant to be a fandom blog #but i dont mind answering general questions like this!!!#very flattered u got curious!!! :D its been a while since i got to hand out resources fksbdksndj #im not active on kemetic tumblr like i used to be so i usually only hand stuff like that out in private convos these days #long post #txt

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mousieta · 2 years

Text

Review: KinnPorsche

Year: 2022 Country: Thailand Platform: iQiyi

Honestly, reviewing this show feels almost unnecessary because I never watched it with an eye towards critique. In this show I firmly turned my brain off and reached for the popcorn. Thus, there are flaws. If I put my mind to them I am sure they will be readily found. I just don’t want to. The show is ridiculous nonsense in the absolute best of ways. It is over the top indulgence perfectly crafted for soothing us as we exist in an increasingly dystopian nightmare.

Everything is unhinged in the best kind of ways: the plot is batshit, the action fast paced, the conflicts flashy and the eye-candy abundant. The premise is a mafia leader, Kinn, falling in love with their forced-into-service bodyguard, Porsche.

Kinn’s tits are permanently out and Porsche’s smile is always winning. These are terrible people we delight in watching do terrible things because they are so so pretty doing them. There’s a romance, there’s falling in love, there’s dastardly betrayal and more psychotically insane BDSM shenanigans than I could have ever hoped for.

The writing is unhinged, it feels like the started scrapin the bottom of the plot barrel around episode 11 then just reached for a completely different barrel and started dumping. But the cinematography is, at some moments, truly sublime and beautiful. The actors, every single one of them, are fantastic, oozing charisma and charm and compelling you to join them on this inane journey.

As jarring as the constant hard emotional shifts of one scene to the next, where we are thrust into life and death and suffering then jerked into camp, it becomes the charm of the show. It takes nothing serious except for when it has to.

In no way is this whiplash more apparent than in the two main pairings: the cotton-candy sweetness of the primary OTP, with the violent and dark secondary pairing. Kinn and Porsche are sweet, affectionate, domestic and ultimately communicative and supportive of one another, whereas Vegas and Pete are broken, violent, brilliantly waving red flags who could only ever be with one another. Between the two extremes is this delicious balance.

I don’t know if this review is gonna sell you or lose you on the show, and really it doesn’t matter. If you’re the audience for it, its probably already on your radar or it already owns your whole being, and if it isn’t you aren’t even reading this because you already scrolled by.

#kinnporsche #review #mousie watches bl #reviews 2022

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tutuandscoot · 2 years

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I think it was really interesting early in the interview Rod starts talking about the state of figure skating and a bit of the history of it and how it’s popularity has really dropped off and lost it’s wow factor recently both domestically and internationally and how VM really were the golden age where 🇨🇦 was so strong across all disciplines, and the generation/s before had these stars like Kurt and Elvis. Then Scott jumps in and asks quite broadly if FS is an accessible sport for the general public to watch and people to get interested/active in, and Rod starts to nod affirmatively like ‘yes absolutely it is’ and the way Scott posed the question was kind of rhetorical because straight away he says ‘no it’s not really’.

Now there are those who know far more about FS than me (and Rod) but as a sportscaster he had been around it for a long time whether he knew the details of it or not, he saw the evolution of it and more from a viewer/media perspective, but it’s just interesting those two very differing perspectives of Rod’s yes, it is accessible and Scott’s no it isn’t- but they need to make it accessible again.

It’s very obvious FS has dropped off the radar esp in the last olys the interest was way down and the only thing that tuned people in was the doping fiasco- which it’s never a good thing when it’s doping or judging or Nancy and Tonya that makes people watch the sport coz then it becomes not about the sport- it’s about the artificial headlines. There was of course many years of accessibility brought on the talent of skaters like VM, Yuna, Yuzu and earlier skaters like Michelle, Sasha, maybe even some of the Russian men..? and others also.

It’s the kind of thing where there’s got to be something truly interesting about it on its own- no scandals, for it to be accessible to casual viewers. There’s got to be the skaters with the excitement and wow factor that makes people who don’t know much about the sport and just see the jumps and the spins and the pretty costumes and thinks it looks easy when really it is one of the hardest sports you can possibly do, find satisfaction in watching it. This last cycle or so esp in ice dance I think that has become really obvious- singles has had the increase in the jumps which to laymen is pretty impressive, but ice dance doesn’t have that built in physical wow factor- teams have to create that themselves and this is kinda jumping off the post I wrote the other day about Canadian nationals that it’s just boring now for the casual viewer. It’s nice and pretty but there’s no wow factor. It was the same with the 2022 olys.

VM have their own way of justifying it in that the stories they tell are universal so people can relate to them but also people related to them coz they were two humans just dancing together, and also had this unbelievable athleticism. That’s one of the other things that puts them in that top echelon of skaters. They were different. At that top level all teams are nice and good but for the average viewer across the board there is no excitement there.

So when Scott says is it accessible? not really, I think he’s looking at it from both the inside workings of the judging and politics and the affect that has on an event’s legitimacy but also creating athletes that reach beyond the boards of a rink and make it interesting for the casual viewer. I think that’s gonna take a long time and very few will actually achieve it and blatantly I don’t think anyone will ever do it like VM.

I think the sport as a whole is really going through a period of redefining it’s self maybe like it never has before because of the change in media environment as well, you can watch stuff anytime any where/ some 5 second clip of a 13yr old doing a quad, but that’s all you get and that’s what today’s entertainment is designed for- you don’t have to put a full package together coz peoples’ attention spans don’t last that long- so to hold an audience for 4 minutes is getting harder and harder. (On this note T also made some great remarks on the entertainment environment being so saturated with options, there’s only so many ice shows you can go to- either Stars or Disney on Ice type shows before it just gets repetitive. That’s where they made a small indent with their tours but the industry needs more reinvention like that).

I just thought those were some interesting points and a really honest self-examination of the work he and the skating community has ahead of them.

Again just some of my own person thoughts I don’t claim to know everything about the inner workings of this sport

#RODcast thoughts #it will be interesting to see how it works but the the new gender inclusive rules may be a start

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theawkwardadult50 · 3 months

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!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/391780/753594607213871104/hey-uh-feel-free-to-delete-if-this-is-out-of?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/blackoutspoetry/753599396711743488/i-am-also-a-former-supporter-but-i-took-time-off?source=share

Hey there, thank you for sending this, I genuinely appreciate it. Uncertain as to how you found my account but I can infer how, I suppose.

All I can really say is that this has really fractured the fandom. A lot of amazing creators have been forced to leave the fandom due to this due to feeling unsafe. Which shouldn’t even happen in the first place.

Initially I was taking things at face value but later on became more skeptical towards it all. It was too much of a perfect storm. And now this has emerged, but too much damage has already been inflicted on the fandom. Harassment to all involved has been undue. If in any way I have contributed to this via my likes, then I deeply apologise. I've only ever reblogged one post relevant to the situation as it - if I recall from the time I was reading it - had more of a balanced take based on my interpretation. (Edit: I don't want to toss out certainties or my perspective at the moment since this is in a way, still a developing situation.)

Furthermore, in case anyone is looking at my void of a blog: i’m gonna turn off anon asks since fandom really only is a small portion of my life and I wish to remain a spectator and not an active participant (though that is debatable given how much i like content related to COD). However, if anyone does want to reach out to me to let me know if I've in some way, shape or form contributed to the harassment of any involved, please do let me know via my messages, which I'll leave open (if I don't then I apologise, it's been a while since I've used Tumblr beyond its basic functions, so it'll take me some tinkering with).

I’ve enjoyed my time with fandom in general but not any longer in the past few years. Not that I’ve directly involved myself with the COD fandom, or provided input. Not out of bad experiences, mind you - just merely out of dwindling interest as I've begun to focus on my own personal works.

But it still deserves to be treated with the gravity it does. For all those involved: no matter your decision or the outcome, I hope that you’re looking after your mental health and taking care. If you have a support network or just someone in your life you want to talk to, please do so. This situation has been taxing on all and has led to many stunning creators leaving out of fear, harassment and a lack of (rightfully so) faith in the fandom. I've no doubt that a lot of people just need to talk to someone or do something else meaningful to them to recuperate from all of this.

I don’t know if it’ll mean much, but please, just for anyone, if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone or have suicidal thoughts/intent/plans, please refer to Find a Helpline.

Find A Helpline is a useful search engine for crisis helpline and mental health support helplines: https://findahelpline.com/. I’ve tried it with a few countries and they corroborate with actual helplines.

Keep in mind that these numbers are NOT SOLELY for crisis prevention. These numbers also include services for anyone who just wants to talk, is seeking support for specific health conditions/circumstances, gender identity, disabilities, being a carer, substance use, etc. The ones for the countries I am familiar with are correct and verified.

Thank you Anon once more for sending me these links, I truly appreciate it. I've let it be a reminder to let mind trump heart in situations like this. Do let me know if you would like to discuss further in Tumblr DMs, I'm completely open to this.

And just in general - if anyone needs a chat, do feel free to reach out via DMs.

I wish you all well and take care.

#tw suicide #codslut

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cannotgiveafuck · 2 years

Text

Alright here's my semi thought out rambling on the contenders of who could adopt Billy Batson.

Keep in mind, this is not based on the Shazamily Billy, but the homeless kid Billy who spent years running away from his abusive uncle, and then multiple foster homes, and squats in apartments.

BatFam: IMO, they would immulate a foster home too much for Billy's comfort. A large home with multiple bodies, all of them having their own issues and lives that Billy would either feel excluded from or strive to help too much. Likewise, to have all those eyes - especially as the Batfam - watching him and being aware of his every move would be incredibly invasive for him. Billy is an independent kid, but hes not a crime fighter like the batkids, so the others would try to help him in any and every way possible, that would inevitably push Billys boundaries. The family stability is questionable, but the loyalty is definitely something Billy needs. So i think theyd be best as like, the friends home Billy stays at sometimes. Not to mention its Gotham. That city is not for Captain Marvel.

Constantine: lmao. Listen. I love this disaster in a trenchcoat disguised as a wreck of a man, but he should not be in any parental role. Him and Billy work out bc they are around each other in doses. They're complete opposites in methods and morals, and continued exposure would do them both harm. Likewise, when John truly cares for someone he pushes them away bc everyone around him gets hurt. He actively chooses to hurt them sometimes, if theyre not used against him. It doesn't matter that Billy is Captain Marvel and can withstand more than John can throw. John will self destruct and keep Billy away. And that is what would hurt Billy most. Bc he would feel abandoned and unwanted, and that kid has too many issues surrounding that in particular. He needs a stable environment and Constantine can not provide that in the long run - especially in a domestic sense. They're wayyy better off as friends, or magical mentor/mentee.

Superman: The biggest obstacle here is Clark's insistence that Billy remain a child and live a normal life instead of being Captain Marvel. Even if Clark relents to having Billy be Marvel and stay on JL, it would be a continuous struggle for both of them. Not only bc Clark does not know how to be a parent, but also Billy would have a very hard time adjusting. Compared to the other two, I'd say Clark is the most stable, but perhaps not stable enough. Journalism and Superman take up a lot of Clark's time, and he'd really struggle with balancing having Billy too - especially if this is pre-Jon. What's more, unlike Jon, Billy's duties and abilities are different. Despite Superman understanding personal wants vs greater duties, he could not help with Marvel's duties, as much as he'd want to. And I think that would really stress Clark out. Not to mention gaining Billy's trust once its lost is an uphill battle. Cap can work just fine with Superman, but Billy would be a feral kitten - another differing aspect Clark would struggle to grasp. I think there's potential here, esp with help from Lois and Mama Kent, but they're both on such different wave lengths beneath the shallow surface, that they'd struggle with cohabitation and being a 'family' more than one would think.

Wonder Woman: Gonna be honest, I think she's the best candidate for taking Billy in. Not only does she understand Cap's duties from a divine perspective, but she's taken on such monumental tasks. She gave up living on her home island to do her divine warrior duty, but then she found balance in remaking her home life as Diana Prince. She had a loving mother and community that raised her, which she'd draw inspiration from for Billy. There'd be a balance of knowing he's a child that needs protection and he's a chosen champion that needs to learn how to protect others (and himself) - honestly, the same balance Diana's mother had to find for her, which she'd realize with Billy. Itd be a familial connection she has greatly missed since Amazon. And tbh I think Cap and Billy are on the same page with WW - respect and admiration and trust, and that divine tie of being gifted by the Gods (Zeus specifically). Plus being handled without kiddie gloves and respected as a hero would be something Billy greatly appreciates.

#billy batson #captain marvel #shazam #listen. im a sucker for batfam and grumpy Constantine mentor too #but i just think billy has some issues thatd get triggered by either situation #and neither would be good for his development as a human child or magical hero #superman has potential but thered be a lot more problems than folks realize. on both ends #which would be so interesting to read them working thru #please i just want Big Sister WW #theyd be so good together #hes never going to be a normal kid. but he still needs a stable loving home #and i think Diana is a perf balance all around #She'd take him on museum tours and world travel and teach him about history and culture #And teach him so much about the Gods and their stories #Idk it's 1am and I'm having feels about Billy and family #And all the shit he's been thru. And despite being so caring and friendly as Cap #He's so wary and guarded as Billy.#He doesn't think he needs a family. Or deserves to be normal. But he does!! He does deserve love and support.#He's just a kid that needs very specific care and attention

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augustghosts · 2 years

Text

1988 - Eddie Munson

A few more looks into my stupid lil take on Eddie surviving and escaping Hawkins. The sequel to 1987.

Word count: 8k (lol)

Warnings: Minors DNI. 18+, gets a lil spicy multiple times. There isn’t any full detailed smut in this one, but lots of allusions to sex, basically in every month hehe. Slight mention of knife play and Eddie’s famous handcuffs. Gets pretty angsty as well. Eddie crying multiple times is defo its own warning. Smoking and alcohol are mentioned throughout. Talk of alcoholism and addiction. Weed is used, but only in one month. Talk of nightmares. Talk of therapy and ptsd. Jealousy. But also some disgustingly sweet fluffy stuff too! Just a bit of everything really. only lightly proofread so if there’s any mistakes just pretend they aren’t there…

January, 1988. Rain pounding the pavement. Earth saturated. Eddie, running from his car to their apartment block entrance. The ground is slippery, winter - old ice and new rain. Terrible combination. Especially for a clumsy man wearing boots. He’s fumbling in his pockets, where the fuck were his keys? Shit. Did he leave them in the car? He looks up, their front facing apartment visible. Kat is perched at the double doors which lead to the balcony. Peering through the glass, almost mocking him. He sighs, making his way back to his car.

20 minutes later he’s sitting in the car, but this time outside of her work. A quiet bookstore, her shift doesn’t finish for another half an hour. They had just got back last week. New Year's eve. December 1987 had been spent apart. Christmas, back in Hawkins. Him and Wayne tucked away in Wayne’s new house. One bedroom - small, but good enough for Wayne. Her with her family on the other side of town, just like back in Highschool. They had met up once during this month long ‘break’ in their relationship and fucked in a motel room.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry.” “Fuck, you feel so good, Ed’s. I love you.”

Apologies, whispered praises and promises. The cruel game of love that they had been playing since they were teenagers. Sneaking back to their families after ‘running errands’. Just like old times. He had felt mad without her. Although, sometimes, Eddie thought that he was never sane to begin with. They had been doing well since they got back. Happy to be out of Hawkins again, back home. Together. Belonging.

When he walks in, she’s at the counter, hunched over a book. The store is empty, dimly lit. She jumps as the bell above the door rings. Slamming the book shut, ready to greet a customer. Her tight customer service smile fading and being replaced by a genuine grin when she sees her boyfriend sheepishly standing in the doorway. Water dripping from his hair and clothes.

“Did you walk here?” She jokes. Walking to the other side of the counter to greet him. He takes a few steps towards her, stopping when he notices the droplets from his boots are leaving footprints on the carpet.

“No, i uh - i think i lost my keys.” He chuckles, his teeth slightly chattering. January weather. He looks around. “Are you here alone? Is that safe?”

She frowns, watching him shiver, rain dripping from his bangs. She walks around him, locking the doors. How many customers are going to come in half an hour before closing during a storm?

“Come here,” She says. Reaching for his shoulders, slipping his wet coat off. Throwing it to the floor. The store is warm, and so is she. Always warm. She hugs him tightly, pulling back to wipe the wet hair out of his face before pulling him down for a kiss. Cold lips meet warm. He groans against her mouth. Trying to pull her closer.

“I’m gonna close up now. Then we can get you home, get you in the shower.”

He scoops his jacket up from the floor as she walks away. A smirk - “Are you going to come in with me?”

February. Cookies. A new hobby for her, baking. Truly domestic bliss. For her at least. Eddie would complain the whole time, it takes too long, it looks boring, I miss you, come cuddle. She had heard them all. He would complain, up until he got to taste whatever she had made. Today was no different, he was waiting. Leaning on the counter, elbows on the marble and his head resting in his hands. Brown eyes watching. You can’t eat them when they’re hot, Ed’s. She had told him.

“Do I need to wait for these to cool down?” He mumbled, eyes fixed on the treats. Kat was beside him on the counter, almost mimicking his expression.

“Yes, honey.” She laughed, moving to untie the apron she had on. She was dressed in the apron one of Eddie’s shirts and her panties. Fuck, she looked good. He leaned further over the counter to look her up and down.

“Wait,” He said. Her hands paused on the strings. “That is very cute.”

She giggled as he approached her. His strong arms wrapped around her waist. “You like it?” She asked.

“Mhm.” He hummed, hungrily taking in her form one more time. One of his hands slid around her back, pulling the strings. Apron now on the floor. His hands under her ass, hoisting her up into his arms.

“Ed’s!” She squealed as he lifted her up onto the counter. His large hands squeezed her thighs. She was the luckiest woman alive. As much as Eddie wanted to deny it. Lips joined as he leaned against the counter between her legs, his arms on either side of her, caging her in. His weight on top of her is familiar and welcome. As they kissed, she felt Eddie grabbing something on the counter behind her. When she pulled away to look he was holding a small knife she had used earlier to open the packet of sugar she had been struggling with.

“Do you remember how much fun we used to have with these?” He smirked, his mouth inches away from hers. She grinned back at him. Memories flashing through her mind, Eddie’s trailer in high school. His handcuffs and the switchblade he used to carry with him. Nothing dangerous, always fun.

“Yeah,” She mumbled against his jawline, a groan rumbling in his chest as she pressed her lips to his ear. “It’s a shame you didn’t keep those handcuffs, baby.”

“I can always get us some more.” He whispered, his voice low. Bringing the knife up higher towards her cheek. Pressing the cold metal against her warm skin, not hard enough to leave any marks. Trailing it down to her throat. Eyes dilating.

“From where?” She laughed, watching his face as he dragged the blunt edge of the knife over her skin.

“I don’t know. Sex shops are like, in right now. We didn’t have one in Hawkins, we can get you some fluffy ones.” He teases. Dropping the knife to kiss her again.

“We can get fluffy ones,” She agreed. Arms wrapping around his neck, legs around his hips. “Only if you let me tie you up with them.”

March. Still cold, not quite wedding season yet. Yet here they were. Almost 1am, in a crowded hall, surrounded by mostly strangers. One of her colleagues is getting married in March. Stupid, she had thought. Sitting at a round table, glasses and confetti littering the cloth. Eddie, leaning back in his chair with a sigh, hand absentmindedly stroking her knee. Wearing all black, jeans and a button up. “You know we’re going to a wedding, not a funeral. Right?” She had joked before they left. He looked beautiful. As usual.

He reaches for the pack of cigarettes, leaning into her ear. “Lets go outside.”

She nods, downs her drink and follows him outdoors. A deep sigh, the fresh night air a welcome change. Eddie passes her a cigarette, he leans down to light it for her when she places it between her lips. A stir inside of him as she looks up at him. She looks amazing. He can’t help but wish it was their wedding instead. He pushes the thought aside, lighting his own cigarette and leaning back against the brick wall. Cold. She leans into him, head on his shoulders.

“When we get married, I don't want a wedding like this.” Her voice surprises him.

“When?” He smiles. Sometimes he thought that she could read his mind.

“Yeah.” She says, still leaning on his shoulder. “When. We’ll invite Wayne. Dustin maybe. Head down to a courthouse or something and do it there. I don’t need all this, unless you want that?”

“Fuck no,” He laughs. “We could go to vegas.”

“Wayne would hate that.

“Yeah he would.” Eddie confirms. They both laugh. A rare conversation between them. Eddie usually isn’t the type, it scares him. Maybe it’s the alcohol, he thinks. He’s wanted to marry her since the day they met. When he found her in the Hawkins High parking lot in the rain yelling at her car for breaking down. When she had hopped into his van and stolen his cigarettes and waved at him from her front door after he’d taken her home.

“I haven’t asked you, though. Like, properly.” He mumbles. Finishing his cigarette and stomping it into the dirt.

“You don’t really need to.” She says. Wrapping her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug.

“No?” He smiles. Thank fuck for that, he’s never been able to imagine himself doing the down on one knee and big wedding thing. He’s always on his knees for herself anyway. He just wants her as his wife. He wants her forever.

“I want a ring though.” She smirks, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He hums in agreement, his hand moving up her arm to softly grasp her throat, pulling her into a kiss. He kisses her deeply, full of love. Her fingers grasp his hair, tugging lightly. Almost as if trying to pull him closer, they were already impossibly close. His knee sliding between her thighs. His hand is still around her neck protectively, squeezing a little harder now.

Her hands drift down from his neck, stroking his chest on their way to the front of his jeans. Her fingers grasp the cold belt buckle, undoing it hastily before going for the zipper.

“Are you sure?” He mumbles into the side of her neck. The skin on her neck is hot from his mouth, but her hands feel cold as they brush his stomach. He wishes he had brought his jacket out to drape around her shoulders like in some romantic movie.

“Yeah. No ones gonna come out here looking for us, we hardly know any of em’” She giggles breathless as her hand dips into the front of his jeans, stroking him over the fabric of his boxers.

“Fuck, okay.” He groans as she finally wraps her hand around his semi hard cock.

“Your hands fucking cold though.” He laughs as she begins to work him just the way he likes. He latches back onto her neck to quiet himself, just in case.

“You’ll have to warm them up then, baby.”

April. It’s late, the apartment is dark. He’s stressed, She’s stressed, Kat is also stressed - watching his parents fight. Eddie knows what would cure him instantly. He longs for it. The exact cause of the rift happening right now.

“Will you stop that?” She snaps at him. He’s pacing, jittery and frantic. He’s tired, she’s angry. She’s so fucking angry at him and he hates it.

“Eddie!” She calls his name again. Stern. He swings around, the tears running down her cheeks makes his chest hurt. Or was it something else doing that? He wasn’t sure anymore.

“We need to talk about this. I can’t do it again.” She sighs.

“It-it’s not that bad.” He stutters, he feels sick. He sits down and puts his head in his hands. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not.” She has her arms crossed. Staring at him, he doesn’t respond. She makes her way over to him, he’s on the couch, she sits on the coffee table in front of him. “Eddie, please.”

He needs a cigarette. They’re arguing about him, about his drinking and about those fuckin pain killers again. They help, he’d said. The drinking helps him sleep. Stops the nightmares. The pills help his head, it always hurts when he doesn’t sleep enough. He looks exhausted, she thinks.

“I’m trying to help.” She whispers.

“I know,” He practically sobs.. The dam finally breaks, the tears brimming his lashes start falling freely. “I know. I’m sorry.”

He leans into her lap, his forehead resting on her knees as he cries. Repeating apologies. She rubs his back, runs her fingers through his hair - anything to calm him down. He’s shaking, but he mumbles something.

“Huh?” She cups his face, wiping his tears when he lifts up his head.

“I’m scared.” He whispers. “The nightmares, they scare me so fucking much. I’m scared that they won’t ever end.” He paused, sniffling. He feels pathetic. She waits for him to continue- “I just - I’m so tired. I never meant to hurt you. I love you.”

“I know.” She takes his hand, squeezing it tightly. “I love you too. So fucking much, Ed’s. There’s steps we can take, help you can get. People you can talk to-“

“I'll talk to you.” He cuts her off. “I do talk to you.”

The thought of telling anyone else about his problems makes his headache worse. What was he supposed to tell them anyway?

“I know but I mean someone else, professionals.” She smiles. Ugh, he sighs. She continues: “I need you in top shape for when we get married.”

This makes him smile. He rests his head back on her lap, he’s desperate to sleep. She hugs him close.

“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want you to get tired and realise you deserve better.” He says. Still in her lap. He could never say this while looking into her beautiful eyes. “The nightmares scare the hell outta me but you leaving, that scares me more.”

She doesn’t respond for a few seconds. She’s delighted that he’s opening up, telling her the truth. Eddie had always been so reserved when it came to anything other than happiness. He never wanted to burden people with his problems. From a young age he had decided that if he was always the happiest person in the room, people would like him more. People would want him there.

“I’m not going anywhere,” She says softly. “This is okay. Rough patches like this, it’s all okay. We can get through it. You can get through it.” He wraps his arms around her waist, head on her chest. Heartbeat. “It’s gonna be okay, Ed’s.”

“I know.” He whispers. “We’ll be okay.”

May. Eddie’s birthday. He had been working so hard recently. Familiar for him, around this time of year. He never liked to celebrate. He needed this, she knew. As much as he didn’t want to admit it. He had been doing well mentaly, as well. He’d been sleeping well mostly, and when he didn’t, he would actually talk to her about it. She wanted to show him she was proud. She told him all the time, but Eddie was no good at accepting genuine praise. Not outside of the bedroom, anyways. She wasn’t much of a cook, but his favourite meal was take out anyway. So, a win for her. Kat had been following her around the apartment. Like he could feel the energy coming off of her. Sniffing around the gifts in the living room.

When the sound of his keys jingling on the other side of the front door drifts through the apartment. Both she and Kat jump to attention. He opens the door slowly, almost as if he’s awaiting something. He knows her too well to think that she doesn’t have something waiting for him on the other side of the door. But boy, did he have a surprise for her instead.

When he finally enters, she's waiting. She opens her mouth ready to say something, probably a Happy birthday baby! Or a Surprise! But when she sees what he’s holding in his arms she stops, Kat freezes beside her as well. She covers her mouth with her hands, a whispered what the fuck? As she approaches him.

The small cat in his arms watches her before it looks back up at him. It’s claws digging into his leather jacket as it tries to bury itself further into his arms.

“I uh, i found him.” He smiles, sheepishly. “Well, actually he’s been hanging around the shop for a few days. He’s so skinny, look. I’ve been feeding him and it's raining tonight so..” He trails off, watching her smile as she reaches for the animal. It shys away, moving closer to Eddie. Kat is at his feet, trying to join in and see what everyone’s looking at.

“He’s shy.” Eddie says quietly. “But I think he’ll like it here.”

“I think so too.” She beams, taking the cat from his arms. It stiffens for a moment, nervous as it looks back at Eddie with pleading eyes. “Did you name it?”

“No,” He says, watching as it relaxes in her arms as she scratches its head. Something he knows all too well. “You know how bad we are with names. He’ll probably end up being Kat number two or something.” He jokes. They both laugh, quietly so as to not disturb the nervous cat.

“I know,” She agrees. “What are we gonna do when we need to name children?”

Her words cause a stir inside of him. He’s grinning as he leans down to greet his first child. She walks into the lounge still cradling their new one. “These are for you!” She gestures to his gifts. Putting the cat down on the couch and approaching him. Before he can protest with a You didn’t have too, she takes his arm, hugging it tightly, leading him into the living room. The cats surround them as he opens them. A new guitar, only an acoustic one. She knew nothing about all the electric ones, too complicated. Plus, his acoustic guitar had gotten broken when they had moved in over a year ago, when he kept dropping all the boxes. He still hadn't bought a new one. A new vinyl player. The one he had now was the same one they had danced too in high school in his trailer bedroom. And a few of his favourite albums.

“Baby, i-” He starts. He doesn’t know how to finish. So he practically crawls over to the couch instead. He climbs on top of her on the couch and kisses her with as much love as he can.

“You’re welcome.” She smiles against his lips. He tells her he loves her, whispered into his mouth.

“I’ve been thinking about you all day.” He says, fingers squeezing her waist - finding her thigh to hook her leg over his hips. “At work on my fucking birthday when all i wanted was to be here with you.”

“And them.” She points to the cats who are inquisitively sniffing around each other. The new addition already a part of the family.

“And them.” He confirms with a smile.

“Anyway,” He continued, grasping her jaw to look her in the eyes. “Are you gonna make me wait any longer?”

She would never deny him. Never could. Especially not on his birthday. She slides out from underneath him with one last kiss. Taking his hand and leading him to their bedroom, his other gift lay in wait on the bed. He laughed loudly as he laid his eyes upon the pair of pink fluffy handcuffs lying on the sheets.

“Oh, fuck yes!” He exclaimed. Giggling with her as he grasped her thighs, hoisting her up into his arms to lay her down on the bed. Best birthday ever, he thinks.

June. Eddie, awake early. As usual. In High School, he used to sleep late and wake up late. The opposite now. Funny how things change. 6:30, the clock says. He’s sitting on the balcony. Kat on his lap. The new cat, they’d been calling Two for a month now, was asleep with her in bed. Always cuddled up under her chin. Eddie was convinced that they had to give him a silly name like that, exactly like they had done with Kat. Because what kind of parents were they if they only bothered coming up with a cool name for their second one? ‘Babe, we literally named our first cat, cat! We can’t give number two a cool name. How will Kat feel?”

His notebook in front of him, his guitar next to him which he’d put down when Kat joined him. Taking the place of his guitar on his lap. He didn’t mind. He sipped his coffee, smoke from his cigarette floating into the bedroom. He secretly hoped it would wake her up, he missed her every second they were apart. Even when they slept. He just didn’t have the heart to wake her. She had work soon anyway, so did he. Maybe he would have too. He sat out there watching and listening to the city for another half an hour, lighting more cigarettes and drinking his cold coffee.

“Good morning, love of my entire life! Did you sleep well?” Her cheery voice sounded behind him, just as he was thinking of waking her up. He laughed, turning to face her as he leant down to kiss his cheek.

“What?” She laughed with him.

“That’s always exciting to hear.” He said. Passing her the cigarette box, watching her lips as she lit one.

“Why?”

“Because it means you want something.”

“I can’t tell you that you’re the love of my life without wanting something? I’m hurt.” She asked, sitting in her usual chair opposite him. The city was beginning to awake. More cars, louder. He tutted, shaking his head. Shooing Kat off of his lap and sitting back, patting his thighs. She took the hint, shooting up immediately and perching on his lap. He held her tightly, her arms around his neck.

“I need a ride to work.” She mumbled into his hair. He laughed, whispering I knew it into the skin of her neck. His head resting on her shoulder.

“You are the love of my life, though.” She took his face into her hand, tilting his face up to kiss him.

“I know.” He said between pecks, “Because you’re mine too.”

He loved this balcony, and he loved kissing her. Her on his lap, out here the sun rising and the sounds of the city. Her lips on his, her hands in his hair, cupping his face. A life like this was something he thought he would never live. Something he thought he didn’t deserve.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered into her mouth, his hand kneading her thighs. She pulled away smiling.

“Flattery will get you everywhere, baby.” She said, beginning to stand up.

“Yeah?” He asked, playfully trying to pull her back down onto his lap.

“Yeah, everywhere being a shower with me,” She took his hand, tugging him to stand up. “I need to get ready for work, but i want you first”

“I like everywhere.” He laughed, following her back into the flat. The cats sat side by side on the bed, watching their parents make their way into the bathroom together, instead of making their way into the kitchen to fill up their food bowls.

July. Almost 2am. Late for them, but they both have a day off tomorrow, so no harm done. It’s a clear starry night. She’s fascinated. They’re both laying out on the balcony - side by side. Their chairs pushed aside, a blanket laid out on the concrete surface underneath them. The blanket is thin - all the thick ones apparently ‘too expensive’ to be put out on the balcony floor.

“I feel dizzy.” She says, quietly.

“Gimme’ that then.” Eddie says, his voice slow. Holding out his hand to take the joint from her.

“I haven’t smoked since before we moved.” She mumbles, still transfixed by the stars above them. Eddie has to admit, they do look nice tonight. Maybe it's just the weed though or maybe it’s that fact that she thinks they’re so amazing that he automatically does as well, he isn’t sure.

“Me neither.” He says, exhaling the smoke towards the sky.

“I don’t think I like it anymore.” She whispers, turning to look at him. He looks beautiful. She can hardly see him, just the lit end of the joint between his fingertips, the moonlight. The flat is dark behind them, her insisting that the light would interfere with the view of the moon. But still, she knows he looks gorgeous.

“Me neither, to be honest.” Eddie says, putting it out in the ashtray beside him. He sits up to take a sip of the water bottle beside him, offering it to her. She says she thinks she’ll throw up if she sits up. He laughs, laying back down.

“We used to make a lot of money from it though, when you used to sell it.”

“It wasn’t a lot.” Eddie snorts, “Barely enough for gas for that fuckin’ van.”

“It was a lot for us!” She says, maybe a little too loud. “We could afford pizza almost every night.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He laughs, reaching for her hand. Holding it tightly. Looking at the rings on her fingers. His eyes fix on the empty space on her left hand.

“I miss the van.” She says, watching him play with her hand.

“Me too.” He sighs, “I miss fucking you in the back of it.”

“Eddie!” She giggles.

“What?” He laughs with her. “I do! You gave me my first blowjob in the back of that van. I’ll never forget it.”

“Neither will i. Would you get another one?”

“No,” He says quickly. “That ship has sailed, I think. It would remind me too much of, you know, the past.”

She nods, staring at him while he stares up at the sky. She whispers: “Sometimes the past can be good.”

“Not mine. You’re the only good thing about my past. I never wanted anything but this,” He gestures between them. “I don’t wanna go back to it. Not hawkins, not the weed, not the van. None of it. Only you.”

She registers the tears in his eyes and the way his hand shakes and grasps hers tighter. “Okay.” She says. Simple, but he knows that she's saying she isn’t going to pry anymore. An understanding between them, he appreciates. She shuffles closer to him, throwing her arm over his waist, nuzzling his neck. Just them and the moon and the stars. All he’d ever wanted. All he’d ever need.

August. Loud voices and crowds. Two things she hated. The reason she missed so many of Eddie’s shows with his band back in school. Something she regretted now. She clung to Eddie’s hand as they left the cinema building. Beginning the walk home, not far from their apartment. A warm August evening, Eddie looked gorgeous in the sunlight. His short sleeved band t-shirt, minus his usual leather jacket, his own personal style that he still clung to.

“I thought that was great!” He smiled, swinging their hands back and forth. She had a different opinion. Horror movies, they’d always been Eddie’s favourite. He had sat her down on the couch and convinced her to watch hundreds during their relationship. How was there so many? Who was making these?

“Uh, yeah. Yeah it was good.” She agreed - lied. The sun was beginning to set, the streets getting quieter now as they got closer to their building. He felt her squeezing his hand a little tighter. Turning to look over her shoulder every now and then. He smirked, taking his hand out of her grip and throwing his arm over her shoulder, pulling her close into his side. She grasped his hand again as it draped over her shoulder.

“You scared?” He teased, lowering his voice as his mouth neared her ear.

“No.” She mumbled.

“You sure?”

“I’m not scared. That movie was just… weird. I don’t know how you enjoy those so much.”

“Don’t worry, baby.” He said, fishing his keys out his pocket as they approached their building. “I’ll protect you.”

She nodded, looking around again as he unlocked the door. She hated the hallway outside their apartment. During the day it was annoying, a long walk after taking the stairs. But at night, it was terrifying. It wasn’t just long. But dark as well. Eddie paused at the top of the stairs, looking down the hallway.

“What?” She asked. He didn’t answer, without warning he sprinted down into the darkness towards their apartment.

“Eddie!” She hissed, running to catch up with him. Hearing his laughter at the end of the hallway. “Don’t do that!”

He was still laughing as she joined him at the front door. The cats surrounded their feet when he opened it, making sure she got in first. Even though he had just abandoned her in the terrifying hallway.

“That’s so not funny.” She whined after he had safely locked the door. Pushing him away when he mumbled an aww and tried to hug her.

“Fuck off.” She groaned as he wrapped his arms around her, much stronger than her. He attempts to push him away feeble. “Such an idiot.” She mumbled against his chest.

“Aw, I'm sorry sweetheart. Did I leave you all alone in the big bad hallway?” He practically giggled into her ear. He brought his hand up to her jaw, tilting her face so he could join their lips. “I’m sorry.” He laughed against her mouth.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you, Ed’s.” She said as he moved to kiss her cheek. Suggestively - “You might need to show me how sorry you are.”

“Oh?” He whispered, their foreheads touching. She nodded. “Oh, I can definitely do that, baby. Come here.”

He bent down, one of his arms hooking under her knees as he lifted her up into his arms. He crossed the threshold of their bedroom, dropping her onto the bed. Lifting his shirt over his head before climbing on top of her, ready to show her just how sorry he was, a loud meow from the doorway interrupted them. Both their heads turned to the doorway to see the cats standing next to their empty bowls, the cinema trip meant they had missed dinner time.

Eddie sighed, getting up from the bed to his feet, “Wait there.” He said sternly, pointing at her lying on the bed. “I want those clothes gone when i get back.”

She laughed as she began to strip the offending garments off of her body. Lying back in wait for her boyfriend who was currently apologising to the cats, the sounds of their food being poured into the metal bowls ringing through the apartment. God, he was fantastic.

September. A cold evening, a store. The bane of Eddie’s existence - shopping. He was pushing the cart. Full of, frankly, stuff they didn’t need. A weekly occurrence for them. Grocery shopping for ‘essentials’ only, and arriving home with more than they needed.

“You know, I don't think we’ve picked up a single thing on this list, baby,” Eddie sighs. The love of his life was currently making a beeline for the newly put out halloween decorations. Why do stores keep putting this shit out in September?

“And halloween isn’t for another month!” He calls after her.

“Yeah, but look!” She laughs, eyes drifting over to the pet Halloween costumes. Eddie couldn’t lie, he didn’t want to step foot in that aisle. He felt stupid, but honestly, the bats made him nervous. Although these ones were all cute and cuddly. He started to take some deep breaths, March 1986 was a long time ago. But he couldn’t stop his heart rate picking up at the sight of the light up bats on a string, the paper bats that hung from the ceiling almost taunting him. He started to back away slightly. She followed his eyes to the ceiling, the bats hanging above her. She suddenly felt guilty.

“Are you okay?” She asked softly, putting the cat pumpkin costume down.

“Yeah. Yeah - no, I'd uh, I'd just like to leave.” He mumbled. She nodded, offering to take the cart from him. He let go quickly, shuffling over to the next aisle and taking a few more deep breaths.

“ I’m sorry, Ed's,” She said, standing a few steps away from him. “Do you wanna go home?”

“ No! No, it’s okay!” He said softly, walking back over. “It’s okay. It's just, you know, down there.” He pointed to the offending aisle.

“This list is still pretty long.” He forced a laugh and a smile. Taking the cart back from her.

“You can wait in the car if you like? I don’t mind.” She offered.

“No, I'm fine! Honestly.” He assured her. His shaky hand came to rest on her shoulder. She looked around at the empty aisle they were in, before leaning up to wrap her arms around his neck. Pulling him into a tight hug - full of love. He relaxed, resting his head on her, his own arms squeezing her tightly,

“I’m proud of you, baby.” She whispered. He smiled against her hair. “I love you.” She cradled his face to look into his eyes.

“I love you more.” He said, hands travelling up and down her back.

“I don’t think so.” She jokes, pulling away to look back down at their shopping list. He pulls her back, grasping her waist so his chest is pressed against her back. He pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin of her neck, his lips ghosting over the mark he had already made earlier in the day, before whispering: “I think I showed you just how much I love you this morning.”

October. Eddie is locked out of his own bedroom. Sitting with his back against the wall next to the door. Kat beside him, Two on the other side of the door with her. Both cats are equally as confused as Eddie. Well, he shouldn’t be confused, he fucked up. Big time.

“Honey, I’m sorry.” He knew you could hear him. He was met with silence. “Please. We need to talk about this.’

“I don’t want to talk to you. Not right now.” The first words he’d heard from her in almost twenty minutes.

“Please. Give me five minutes. Let me explain.” More silence.

“Explain what? Explain why you’re drunk? Explain why your new girlfriend was trying to make out with you in front of me?”

“She wasn’t! She’s not and she wasn’t! That- that’s not what happened. I’m not drunk either, I promise.” He stuttered. Fuck, maybe he was. He put his head in his hands, his knees pulled to his chest. “Baby, please. I don’t even know who she is. I just met her.”

“Okay? That doesn’t help. I know what I saw.” He could hear that she was crying. His heart was fucking broken. This was it, wasn’t it? The last straw. She was going to leave him. She was probably going to fuck off back to hawkins and leave him here in this big city all alone. All his fault, like always.

“I know what it looks like you saw. I promise it wasn’t. I’m gonna explain. ” He whispered, his head resting against the door now. She didn’t respond, he started talking anyway.

Eddie had been out with friends from work, a rare occurrence for him. He’d become a home body since they had left Hawkins, something he was completely fine with. He was in some dirty bar with his dirty new friends who he honestly didn ‘t like that much. All he wanted was to be home with his girl. One of his new friends had brought his girlfriend who had brought a friend. A friend who had been giving him the eye all night. Eddie had pretended not to notice. He wasn’t very good at turning people down, but turn her down he definitely would. He had the most beautiful girl in the world at home waiting for him. The most gorgeous woman in the city who was probably sitting up on the couch with their two cats. The only place he wanted to be right now. He had been drinking, that was wrong of him. He can admit - he had been doing so well. He was just so nervous and he thought he could handle it. Lesson learned. He had called her, the most gorgeous girl in the city, to come pick him up.

“Look, baby, I'm so sorry. You gotta come get me.”

“Have you been drinking, Ed’s?”

“Yes. I’m sorry.” A sigh had come from the other end.

“Okay, I'll be there in a sec. Stay safe.” That had made him smile. He told his friends he was leaving which had caused complaints, his girl was coming to pick him up, he’d said. He didn’t miss the pout from the friend who had been eye fucking him all night. He had smirked. His acquaintances had offered to come stand outside with him, to have a smoke and keep him company while he waited. The girls had followed. Just as the love of his life had pulled up in his car, the friend who had suddenly started standing very close to him had twisted her ankle on her heel. Eddie, being ever the gentlemen, obviously didn’t want to let her fall. But now, hours later, he was pretty sure she had done it on purpose. He wished he had picked that up at the time. Actually, now he thinks about it, was she even wearing heels? Anyway, the way she had fallen into him and thrown her arms around his neck could not have been an accident. And that's exactly what his love had seen. He had helped the girl stand up straight, her and her friends giggles had infuriated him. The car ride home was silent. And here he was. Now locked out of his own bedroom.

“And that’s it.” He promised. He was crying now too. “Please open the door. I’m sorry for drinking so much, I messed up. I can admit that and I'll make it up to you. I swear.”

He sniffled, listening as he heard shuffling on the other side. He continued, “But the girl, it was nothing. I promise. I was just trying to be nice. I didn’t know she was gonna do that. I’m sorry you saw it but i would never. Baby, i would never.” He practically sobbed the last part. “Please. You’re it for me. I love you. I love you so much. I would never ruin this, ever. Please.” He pleaded one more time. Tears trailing down his cheeks. His head hurt now, from the crying or the drinking - he wasn’t sure. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted a hug, and he wanted to sleep. In his own bed, with her. Not the couch with Kat.

The door opened. “Really?” She sniffled. Her face matched his. Sad, tears. He nodded, his big brown eyes full of tears, looking up at her.

“Yes. I promise. I wish I could prove it to you.” He whispered. He was still on the floor, she crouched down next to him.

“I’m sorry.” She said, “I-”

“No, no I am.” He cut her off, taking her hands into his.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Ed’s. I’m sorry I didn't let you explain.” She put her arms around his shoulders. He basically curled up into her lap. “I just- I guess I got jealous. There was no need, I trust you Eddie. And I believe you. I’m so sorry. I love you.”

They stayed like that for a while, on the floor. Whispering apologies and promises of love. She got up to make him a drink. He downed a pint of water and crawled into bed next to her. That was his last night out for a while, he thinks. Hopefully forever, she thought.

November. Balcony doors open, the curtains rustling. Cold, 9am. Way too cold, now that Eddie was no longer beside her, or inside of her. Her legs are still shaky, hair a mess. Rumpled sheet. The smell of coffee and cigarettes coming from the kitchen. Eddie’s voice, talking to the cats. She smiled. When he reemerged, two mugs in hand, the pack of cigarettes he had been looking for in the draws now in his hand.

“I told you they were in the kitchen.”

“Whatever.” He mumbled, muffled by the one in his mouth. He passed her the pack after placing her mug down on her bedside table. He climbed over her to his side, placing his own on the other table. A mumbled come here, gorgeous as he opened his arm, urging her to curl up into his side. Leg thrown over his, his heartbeat in her ear. Happiness.

“You know, I can’t believe you still have a ridiculous amount of sugar in your coffee.” He said, taking a sip of his own. “I thought you would have grown out of it or something.”

“It’s the way I like it.” She scoffed. “What do you want for breakfast?”

“Dunno.” He looked down at her, the hand around her shoulders coming up to run through her hair. “I think we have cereal.”

“Mhm.” She hummed at the feeling of his fingers on her scalp. “We like cereal.”

“Yes, we do.” He whispered. Tilting her head to kiss her. She pulled away too quickly for his liking, but before he could reel her back in she had bounced up and placed herself on his lap. Their lips met again, his hands going straight to her ass, pulling her closer against his chest. Her tits pressed against his skin made him groan into her mouth and knead the skin in his hands.

“Round two?” She smiled against his skin, her lips travelling to his neck. Marks she had already left, a slight burning sensation as she sucked on them again. He loved it.

“Damn baby, I thought you were tired?” He gasped as she reached down between them to grasp him in her hand. He went straight for her chest as he worked him slowly, his mouth closing around one of her nipples. Her hands tighten in his curls. Heat in her abdomen spreading, their mouths exploring each other once again when, like clockwork - two high pitched meows.

“Hey!” Eddie pointed at the offenders, “I’m trying to seduce your mother! Go away!”

Both of them laughed as he pushed her backwards off his lap, hand cradling the back of her head, his face above hers. Coaxing her to wrap her legs around him as he slid home.

December. A snow storm. No Hawkins for Christmas this year, something Eddie was secretly pleased about. The glittering tree she had insisted they put up flashed in the corner every time a car drove past. The headlights catching the god awful tinsel. He didn’t hate the tree, he hated the decorations. The cats kept stealing them. They kept waking up to the living room covered in plastic and tinsel. Maybe he just hated cleaning.

The awfully cheesy Christmas movie was long forgotten after he had convinced her to make out with him on the couch instead. Something that was going well until the words ‘hot chocolate’ had been mentioned on screen. Then suddenly, she had to have one as well. So here he stood - in the kitchen, arms wrapped around her waist, his chest to her back as she stood at the counter. Stirring the drinks that had distracted her from his body.

“Stop pouting.” She giggled, looking at him from the corner of her eye.

“I’m not.” He mumbled, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before stepping back.

“You are.” She cooed, bringing a hand up to pinch one of his cheeks. He shooed her hand away, mumbling an ow.

“Come on!” She laughed, leaving the kitchen - mug in hand. He took a sip of his own drink before following her. He had to admit, it was fucking good.

“Very well done, my love.” He commented as he joined her on the couch.

“Thank you.” She giggled as his lips met her forehead.

“Please don’t put that movie back on.” He whined.

“What else do you wanna do then? There’s nothing to-”

She stopped talking as the whole apartment went dark. The only sound, the cats paws as they both ran in, skidding to a stop in front of the couch.

“Well, I was going to say I had something in mind.” He teased, his hand reaching her thigh. “But now, that seems to be the only thing we can do while we wait for the power to come back on.”

“I don’t know about you, but I'm gonna finish drinking this.” She brought the mug to her lips. “And I'm gonna go find some candles.”

He watched as her silhouette left the room. Eddie sipped his own drink again, hearing a commotion in the hallway. Neighbours asking each other “is yours out too?”. He laughed to himself.

“Do you have your lighter?” Her voice behind him. Her arms are full of candles. Placing some in the kitchen and some of the table in front of him.

“Yeah, here.” He said, reaching for it where it lay next to his cigarette pack. While they were busy lighting candles, they failed to notice their two children eyeing up the presents under the tree. Two made the first move, dragging a small, badly wrapped box out from underneath. Obviously wrapped by Eddie. The corners are thick, and there is too much tape. While their parents kiss and giggle in the kitchen, Eddie whispering things in her ear that made her want to cross her legs, the cats get to work on ripping off the paper.

“You hear that?” Eddie asked, pulling his mouth away from his girlfriend's chest.

“No.” She mumbled, sucking on his jaw, trying to pull him back. But the unmistakable sound of rustling paper foiled her plans.

“Those little shits!” He exclaimed, running to the lounge. Trying not to trip in the dark. The candles gave just enough light to see what they were doing. His eyes widened as he realised which one they had picked up, just enough paper being ripped off to expose the velvet box underneath.

“Fuck! Not that one!” He gently pushed the cats away, scooping up the box.

“What did they get?” She asked, coming in behind him.

“Nothing!” He said, a little too quickly. Stuffing the box into the pocket of his sweatpants.

“What? Let me see!” She laughed, trying to reach into his pocket.

“No!” He grabbed her hands, stopping her from grabbing the box. “It’s one I got for you.”

“Looks tiny,” She joked. She tried to reach for it again, “Let me see it! The cats have spoken, that gift is an early one for me to open now.”

“No, this one's special. You can’t see it till christmas day.”

“Oh,” She pouted. “Why do you hate me?”

They both laughed against each other's mouths, him trying to pull her back down onto the couch with him. A distraction. Hate? Well, the ring currently in his pocket would beg to differ. Those damn cats.

#okay when i tried to proofread this i started doubting it… lol #Eddie Munson #Joseph Quinn #stranger things #Joseph Quinn x Reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #Eddie Munson angst

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justyvettethings · 3 years

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Random astro observations 🏵 #11

!I'm not a professional astrologer and this is strictly based on my own experience. Don't take it too seriously or personally!

I advise everyone with strong Gemini/Virgo/Mercury energy; Mercury in the 3rd house/3rd house stellium to write their thoughts, feelings and daily tasks in a journal every day. It actually helped me to get my mind in track, because if you have Mercury dominant energy in the chart you probably noticed how chaotic your mind can get.

Looking at your sidereal chart is like looking at yourself, but from a different angle.

Sagittarius' position in the chart is an indicator for your undying thirst. No matter how much you take from this area of life (symbolized by the astrological house) you'll never be truly satisfied. For example: Sagittarius in the 3rd house makes you feel like you can't get enough of absorbing and analyzing information.

Pluto sextile Venus gives a person the ability to easily see through people and under their social mask.

I would like to talk a little bit about Neptune square Mars. This aspect is the true "the world is trash, I'm gonna live in my own imagination" vibe. The person with this aspect in the natal chart can experience the urge to create an imaginary world in their mind in order to escape the harsh reality, especially during the teenage years. Neptune in it's positive description is highly associated with spirituality, so if you have this aspect you may often catch yourself switching up the realities when listening to music. Why? Because music is the highest manifestation of spirituality.

Venus especially in the social houses (5th or 11th) square Saturn will influence your life harshly while you're still young until you turn 35. Harsh in terms of relationships with peers, loved ones, friends and so on. No matter the house Venus is placed, Venus squaring Saturn will make the young person behave and appear older than their peers.

Chiron opposition/conjunction/square Moon is a big deal for sure. If you have one of those aspects you might have experienced issues on an emotional level with your mother figure. She might have not been able to understand you on a psychological basis or the reverse. Lack of emotional support from her. Even if she took care of you, you felt emotionally distant from her.

Mars in the 2nd house doesn't like to share resources (both financially and domestically).

Jupiter in the 2nd house can experience issues with overspending.

Jupiter in the 12th house is a position belonging to the type of person, who sees the world as a big picture. Imagine a bird flying in the sky and seeing the world below from a wide scale when thinking about Jupiter in the 12th.

Sun in the 5th house has no issues with extroverted energy. These people are the epitome of an extrovert. They don't experience existential troubles regarding the core identity of a person, because the Sun is in its own house of Leo. This of course is true unless having harsh aspects with other planets.

Venus in the 5th house likes to be dolled up when presenting themselves in front of the society. Makeup, clothes, fragrance - it all matters to them.

Saturn in the 9th house has a high chance to study law or sociology.

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1-800-gaygentsofshield · 3 years

Text

you + me = ? | n.r.

summary: after the war you and Natasha settle down, deciding to start a family in your cozy little home. The problem is though, how many times can hope be ignited before it fully burns out?

warnings: (trying to get pregnant) reader, canon/sterile Nat, swearing, Nat and you cry, post-endgame, sprinkle of angst with a very fluffy ending

word count: 4,016

im having baby fever rn im so sorry

-flashback, pre-endgame-

"I wanna have a family." Your voice is barely above a whisper as you both look up at the night sky, laying in the garden atop the Avengers compound. "What?" Nat asks softly, breaking out of her trance as she looks at you. You're laying on her chest and her arm is wrapped your back, Nat's other arm folded up behind her head.

"I wanna have a family, with you." You repeat yourself, making eye contact with your girlfriend as her brows furrow. "Y/n.." Nat's voice is hesitant and panic floods your chest, your eyes widening as you move to sit up. "Oh my god I'm so sorry, that was so quick-" You apologize quickly as you avoid Natasha's gaze, the redhead sitting up with you.

You've dated Natasha for two years but everything has been slow, knowing how the assassin will close herself off if you try and move too fast (emotion wise).

"Hey Y/n no." Nat says softly as she looks at your side profile, a soft frown forming on her face as she sees you. "That's not the reason why." She says as she gently turns your head to face her, fingertips delicately grabbing your chin. "I do want to have a family with you, moya lyubov'..it's just that I can't." Nat whispers and you finally lock eyes with her, seeing the pain and sadness on her face. "What do you mean?' You ask carefully and she sighs, waiting a beat before deciding to tell you. "In the Red Room me and all of my other group mates were sterilized..it was like a sick graduation ceremony that prevented us from having a family of our own." She tells you and hurt immediately grips at your heart, seeing Nat avert her gaze for a moment.

"Why?" You question and she purses her lips together, one of your hands rubbing her knee gently. "So we would never have any distraction from our mission..so that our only purpose in life was to kill and be used as a weapon." Disgust drips from Nat's voice at the last part, your soft hands on her wrist bringing her back to reality. "Im so sorry Nat, I shouldn't have anything I didn't know-" You start to apologize again but Nat stops you with a soft shake of her head, a bittersweet smile on her face. "Don't apologize, Y/n. I'm the one who should be sorry for not being able to give you the family that you deserve." She says and now it's your turn to shake your head, grabbing Nat's hands and caressing them gently. "Its alright baby." You smile gently before an idea pops into your head, your eyes lighting up and Nat gives you a look of curiosity.

"Besides.." You start, gently tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "If you really..truly..wanted a family with me, there could still be other options. Like adopting or getting a surrogate..or I could get pregnant instead." You suggest and Natasha's eyes light up like the stars in the night sky, a small laugh escaping your lips as you see the excitement on her face.

"Really?! You'd do that?" She asks and you nod your head, giving your girlfriend a soft kiss before laughing. "Mmhm, but you'd have to put a ring on it first, Miss Romanoff." You giggle and Nat wraps her arms around you again, both of you laying back down on the blanket. "Im planning to, future Mrs.Romanoff."

-present day, post-endgame-

You nervously pace around the bathroom as you wait for the three minutes to be up, Natasha sitting on the edge of the bathtub and observing you walk back and forth. The pregnancy test is laying by the sink and you can’t help but glance at it every few seconds, not having felt this nervous since battling Thanos and his army. You’ve faced gods, powerful Titans, super soldiers, but you’re sure this the most nerve wracking thing you’ve ever had to do. Once the timer on Natasha’s phone goes off, you practically jump towards the sink, Natasha leaning forward a bit more on the bathtub. Picking up the white and pink pregnancy test, you nervously turn it over in your hands, eyes scanning the small window for the results.

Natasha doesn’t even have to ask for the results when she sees your shoulders slump and your face drop, quickly getting up from the bathtub to wrap you up in her arms. Hugging you from behind, she can see the negative test in your hands, gently kissing your cheek when you don’t say anything. “It’s okay baby, we can try again.” She says softly and you shake your head, slowly placing the test down and closing your eyes.

“Nat, what if somethings wrong with me?” You whisper and her arms hug you closer, tears pooling under your eyelids in frustration. “Nothing is wrong with you malysh.” Natasha reassures you and you turn in her arms, releasing a shaky breath as you press your face into her neck. “Three times Nat..three fucking times..” You sigh and she only holds you closer, knowing how much hope the both of you had for this one. “I know, I know.” Nat hums softly as she rocks the two of you back and forth gently, feeling the hope starting to dwindle from you. “What if we just weren’t meant to have a biological children? What if we weren’t meant to have lives after the war?” You question out loud and Natasha pulls back, gently tilting your chin up so you can look her in the eyes. “Hey no, don’t say that. We were meant to have a family Y/n, biological or not.” Nat takes a pause to brush some hair out of your face.

“Let’s try one more time, okay? And if that doesn’t work then we can look into other options.” She continues and you think for a moment, not knowing if you could go through the hope and pain again. “Okay.” You whisper softly and Nat nods her head. “Okay.” She echos you before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead, pulling you back in for a hug.

————

Nat’s leg is bouncing up and down as she watches the timer tick down, only ten more seconds before you can check. This is the last try, all or nothing. You’re too anxious to pace this time, instead opting to sit next to Natasha and leaning into her as you watch her leg bounce. “You know..whatever happens, I love you.” Nat says softly when she sees you blankly stare at her knee, lost in thought about what’s going to happen. “I love you too.” You reply equally as soft as you look up at your wife, grabbing her hand and intertwining them slowly.

Leaning into each other, you both share a soft kiss, love shining through the small interaction. You both only pull away when the timer dings, Natasha rubbing your back as you sigh and get up. It feels like time slows down as you walk towards the sink, heart pounding in your chest as you reach out to grab the test. The bathroom is silent as you pick it up and flip it over, looking at the little window for the results. You’re silent as you look at the results, body frozen in place as you stare at the test. Natasha’s brows furrow and she gets up, sighing as she rubs her temples.

“Baby I’m so sorry-” “It’s positive.” You interrupt Nat midway through her sentence, your voice in disbelief as you see those two pink lines. “What?” Natasha asks, unsure if she heard you right. “It’s positive.” You repeat as you turn to face her, pregnancy test in hand as you smile from ear to ear. “You’re pregnant?” Natasha asks, almost in disbelief as she stares at you. “I’m pregnant.” You nod your head and Natasha immediately sweeps you up in her arms, hugging you right and picking you up from the ground. “Holy shit! We’re gonna have a baby!” Nat laughs as she spins you around, joyful giggles falling from your lips as you cling onto your wife.

“Oh my god we’re gonna have a baby.” Nat breathes out as she comes to a stop, quickly putting you down once the realization hits her brain. “Shit, you’re pregnant we need to be careful.” She says and you only laugh, pulling her down a bit to kiss her. “You don’t need to be that a careful dummy, but yes..I’m pregnant.”

————

“Tony gave us an iron man onesie.” You laugh as you hold up the tiny piece of clothing, Natasha grinning as she watches you. Even though the announcement was made a week ago, the gifts have been steadily pouring in, Tony insisting that he pays for the majority of the things that are needed for the new arrival.

He paid for the crib, the high chair, the car seat, most of the nursery, and all the bottles and toys a newborn could ask for. Pepper had a huge part in it too, having experience since bringing Morgan into the world. “That man is self centered.” Natasha laughs as she walks over to where you’re sitting, her heart full of love as she kneels down next to you.

“Mmhm.” You hum in agreement as you fold the article of clothing away, Natasha handing you the next gift. You’re about sixteen weeks along and you’re already showing, a small baby bump forming from your midsection. You both decided to wait until the second trimester to tell the rest of the team, wanting to enjoy the first few months in peace.

Natasha watches you wordlessly as you open a gift from Steve, a smile tugging on her lips as she sees the captain america pacifier. “I love you so much.” She blurts out randomly and your head turns to face her, a smile on your face as you gently kiss her.

“You’ve gone soft Romanoff.” You tease and she only laughs, gently kissing you again. “I blame you, you’ve made me domestic.” She grins and you roll your eyes, placing the gift to the side.

————

As the pregnancy goes along, you start to notice Natasha’s lack of touch, the redhead only going as far as running her hands through your hair or holding your shoulders. You have no idea what has gotten into her and you're determined to investigate, missing the way Natasha used to spoon and cuddle you all day.

Your questions were finally answered when one day you and Natasha were watching TV in bed, the redhead's arm slung around your shoulder as you lean into her. When the commercial break finally came on, you turned your head to look at your wife, curiosity written all over your face. "Why don't you cuddle me anymore, Nat?" You ask softly and she looks at you with confusion, lowering down the volume on the TV. "What do you mean? I cuddle you all the time baby." She says and you shake your head, reaching up and gently toying with her hair.

"Ever since I've gotten pregnant you've treated me like I could break at any moment, what are you so afraid of?" You question and Natasha sighs, glancing at her lap for a moment before answering. "With these hands I've done some awful things Y/n..things too horrific to say out loud. I feel like if I touch you or the baby I'll just ruin it, or hurt you..like everything else in my life." Nat confesses softly and your heart melts at how scared your wife is, knowing how much she's struggled with her past and with the red in her ledger. "Natasha Romanoff." You whisper, gently grabbing her hands to put them in between the two of you. "You are the kindest," You start, gently kissing her knuckle. "Most caring." another kiss, "Most selfless" another kiss, "Person I've ever met" another kiss. "And I know, with my whole heart and soul, you would never do anything to hurt me or the baby." You look up at her and gently rub your knuckles over the back of her hands. "So please stop acting like you will. These are the hands that I love, the hands that will raise our child, they're strong and secure, so stop thinking otherwise." You finish as you wordlessly move both your hands towards your belly, gently placing Natasha's hands over the bump.

The redhead is stunned as your hands rest over hers, the baby suddenly kicking. A wide smile spreads across your face as you both look down at your belly, the baby never having kicked before. "That was the first time they've ever kicked." You inform Natasha and you could see her still processing that fact. "That's our baby?" She asks softly and you laugh, nodding your head. "Mmhm, that's our baby. They recognized their mama." You say fondly as the baby kicks again, Natasha's heart bursting with warmth as she looks at you.

Slowly, Natasha moves to lay down on the bed, resting her head right beside your bump and holding it gently. "Hi malen'kiy golub'." She whispers softly, your hand coming down to gently play with her hair. You smile as you watch Natasha gently cuddle with your bump, knowing without a doubt that she's going to be a great mother.

-----

Placing the stuffed animals down on the table, you turn to look at Natasha, a giggle coming from your lips as you walk over to her. "What?" Nat grins as she turns to face you, putting the paintbrush down to the side.

"You're a mess." You laugh as you rub some pastel green paint from her cheek, both of you deciding that the nursery would be painted a light grey with a pastel green accent wall. "I'm still hot though." She teases and you only roll your eyes, cupping her face as you gently kiss her.

"Yeah yeah you're always hot." You laugh and Natasha looks around the room, grinning at the stack of Avenger's themed stuffed animals your team gave you. "They're all trying to be known as the cool uncle aren't they?" She asks softly and you nod your head, knowing that whatever Avenger your child takes after will forever have that bragging right.

"Let them have their fun, they're happy for us." You smile and Nat only sighs, shaking her head with a small smile on her face.

-----

You feel like Natasha was more anxious than you when you went into labour, your water breaking in the middle of the night. There wasn't any dramatic screaming or freaking out, you just calmly pushed the sheet back and let out a soft "huh" as you saw the damp bedsheets.

"Oh, okay we're doing this." You say before turning on the light, acting like it was any other day as you gently shake Natasha awake. "Nat, baby wake up." You whisper softly as Natasha stirs, squinting at the light once her eyes opened. "Y/n? What's wrong?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she rubs the sleep from her eyes, seeing you in a sitting up position.

"My water broke." You say and it takes a second for the words to process in Natasha's brain, the redhead suddenly sitting up and fully awake. "What? Okay okay it's happening. It's happening." Nat says as she pushes the sheets off herself, her mind immediately going to all the books she's read over the past nine months. You've already packed your hospital bags a few weeks in advance so you aren't too stressed about it, only needing to change and grab a few extra things. Natasha, on the other hand, is working on full overdrive, pulling on sweatpants and making sure everything is in order.

"Natasha, baby." You say as you gently grab her arm, needing your wife to slow down if you're going to survive the next few days. "You need to calm down my love." You say softly as you hold onto her shoulders, making the redhead look at you and take a few deep breaths. "Okay..okay. I'm sorry. I'm just nervous." Natasha admits and you nod your head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It's okay to be nervous Nat, you just need so slow down. We haven't even gotten to the hospital yet." You laugh softly and she nods her head, waiting a few more moments before stepping back slowly. "Okay, let's have a baby."

---

Your head is resting back against Natasha's shoulder as she acts like a backrest to you, allowing you to grip onto her hand when your contractions hit. Nat has been nothing but supportive the entire time, humming reassuring words into your ear as the pain washes over your body.

"Fuck." You whimper once another round of contractions end, Natasha's hand coming up to gently push back the sweaty hairs sticking to your forehead. "You're doing amazing baby, I'm so proud of you." She hums and you sigh, closing your eyes as you feel your wife rub your back. It's quiet as you feel Natasha's hands move down to your bump, rubbing your stomach softly as she sighs.

"Come on malen'kiy golub, your mommies are so excited to meet you." Nat coos and you smile into her neck, warmth flooding your chest as you listen to her. "And I know all of your aunties and uncles are excited to meet you too. We're so excited to hug you, and kiss you, and watch you grow." She hums as she rubs small circles on your belly.

"So please come out before your mommy kills me." Both of you laugh and you snuggle more into Natasha's embrace. "You're going to be an amazing mom." You whisper and Nat grins, looking at you with a quirked eyebrow. "Yeah?" She asks and you nod your head. "Yeah..I couldn't have asked for a more amazing wife, best friend, and now..a mother to our daughter." You hum and Nat blushes, kissing you gently.

----

Your eyebrows furrow as you grip onto Natasha’s hand, pain coursing through your body as you deliver the baby. “You’re doing amazing y/n, almost there.” Nat says as you practically crush her hand, hiding the pain in her face as she watches you. "Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl." The doctor announces as the baby's cries fill the room, your chest heaving as you lay back. Nat cuts the umbilical cord ("I've seen worst in Budapest") and they place the baby on your chest, draping a blanket over the two of you to keep you warm.

"Hi baby." You coo as you hold your child close to your chest, Natasha standing next to you with unshed tears in her eyes. You look up at her and sniffle (you're crying so hard at this point) as you see the look of awe on her face, smiling as you gently reach out to grab her hand. Softly placing her hand atop of the baby's blanketed back, she slowly moves her thumb, the child's cries quieting at both of her mother's touch. Nat is speechless as she watches the tiny newborn cling onto your chest, loving the warmth radiating off of your body.

"She's a boob man, just like her mama." Nat whispers and you laugh, that being the first thing that comes to her mind. Your child's hand slowly comes up and wraps her fingers around Natasha's thumb, that being the breaking point for the tears as they finally fall down her cheek.

----

"Are you gonna hold her or are you just going to stare at me?" You ask as Natasha watches you and Mila sit on the bed, the two of you now alone with your child. Natasha looks hesitant as she walks over to you, never feeling so nervous as you look up at her.

"You aren't going to break her Nat." You say and Nat's eyebrows furrow, seeing the tiny infant look up at her with Y/c/e. The baby took from both you and Natasha, having scarlet red hair from her and beautiful y/c/e from you. "I just don't know..I mean what if I drop her? What if I do something wrong?" Nat worries her bottom lip between her teeth and you only beckon her to come closer, scooting over so she can sit on the hospital bed.

"You won't Nat, I promise." You reassure her and she slowly sits down on the bed, following your instructions as she places her hands out. Gently transferring the baby into her arms, you smile as Mila looks up at her mama, letting out a soft "gah". "See? She loves you already." You hum as you rub Mila's hair gently, seeing the love on Natasha's face. "Hi Mila." Nat breathes out as you rest your head on her shoulder, watching your wife interact with the baby. The tears return to Natasha's eyes as the newborn looks up at her, her emotions going everywhere as she processes that this is her child, her little bundle of joy that she gets the privilege of sharing with you. "Thank you." Nat whispers out as she looks at you, a smile on her face as she sniffles.

"For what?" You question and she only kisses you softly, smile still on her face as she pulls away. "For giving me another reason to live for." She whispers and her statement covers a wide range, thank you for being her wife, thank you for giving her a chance, thank you for her daughter, thank you for giving her the family she's always wanted, just thank you.

----

Mila's cries ring out through your room and pierce your eardrums, rousing you and Nat from your slumber.

"Mm, I've got it." You sleepily mumble out of instinct as you start to get up, now used to getting woken up in the dead of night.

Mila still doesn't have a sleep schedule since she's a newborn so sometime's she'll sleep for a few hours and other times only for ten minutes.

This time around though, you get gently pushed back onto the bed by Natasha, feeling a comforting kiss placed on your temple as your wife gets up. "I've got it, moya lyubov'." She whispers and you don't have enough energy to resist, watching as Nat walks over to the bassinet. "Hi malen'kiy golub, you have a healthy set of lungs don't you?" Nat mumbles sleepily as she pulls the newborn from the crib, cradling the baby to her chest and gently rocking her back and forth. "Yeah I know, it's okay baby. It's okay, mama's got you." She hums as the baby's cries slowly die down, you still sitting on the bed as you watch your wife in awe. "Your mommies need their sleep huh little one, that sounds nice doesn't it." Nat yawns and you cant help but smile.

"But don't worry, every time you wake up we'll be here okay? We'll love you and hug you each time you cry. And I'm gonna protect you, malen'kiy golub. I won't let anything happen to you or your mommy, I promise." Natasha coos as she continues to rock Mila, not noticing how you're wide awake now. It's a soft, quiet vow, spoken in the dead of night, that Natasha will protect her family with everything she has in her..and it makes you fall more in love with her, if that's even possible.

Getting up, you make your way over to your wife, gently placing your hands on her shoulders to notify her of your presence. She knew you were coming as soon as she heard the bedsheets rustle, even in her tired state she was looking out for the two of you. "Hi." Nat greets you softly and you only hum, a tired smile on your face as you rest your head on her shoulder. Your hand comes up and is gently placed on Mila's back, rubbing soft circles on her onesie. Natasha's heart swells as she looks at her small family, smiling when you kiss her cheek. "I love you." You whisper before looking down at your daughter. "And I love you too." You hum, gently kissing her fiery red hair. Nat kisses your temple gently and closes her eyes, finally at peace with her daughter in her arms and you at her side.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff #marvel #black widow #mcu #black widow x reader

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insufferablelust · 4 years

Text

Revelation (Spencer x Reader)

imagine thats Older!Spencer :)

Warnings : Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, heavy daddy kink, belting, shameless smut, a bit of size kink i suppose, pet names, degradastion by name calling, punishment, squirting, gagging, just a dirty dirty daddy Spencer smut, subspace and huge fluff! and reader is his goddess. :)

Masterlist Here.

All you could feel was exhaustion, exhaustion that lingered from the very tip of your skin to the rattling of your bones. The soft musk of Spencer’s scent filled the room so nicely, bringing you to an edge of calmness, you are home— with your love, your baby, your daddy.

You smiled as you tug your scarf down , placing it gently above the couch before you call out to the very man that owns your body and soul, “Spence?” the exhaustion was prominent in your voice, even though tried to brush it off.

“In here, kitten! wait a sec.” He yelled, jogging down from the kitchen to where you were sitting at the couch, He smiled tenderly with the kitchen towel perched on his shoulder, he looked so domestic, so much of the boyfriend-ness of him yet the way he holds himself is daddy, your daddy.

He immediately gathered you up on his arm, plopping down next to you and bring you to straddle his waist, “So pretty, so so pretty, i miss you, kitten.” He whispered, pressing a delicate kiss on your lips as his hand rest on your throat- the very side of your pulse.

You giggled a little, nipping his lower lip, pulling back only to whisper a tiny “i miss you..” kiss “daddy.” Heaven is what you are, he thinks. Because here he is, having the knowledge of everything, absolutely everything this word has to possibly offer yet.. nothing, nothing feel as complete as you. as having you perched on his lap, being good.. such a good little girl.

“Look at me.” His voice changed a little, it was deeper, huskier that it caused the sweet nectar flowing down south from the heat of your belly. God, your eyes snapped to his.. your socks covered feet tucked under his knees as he gently, just gently press his palm against your pulse, tightening his grasp— not enough to choke you yet enough to draw a pleasure filled gasp emitting from your sinful lips. “daddy—“

“Shush, been a good girl, haven’t you?” He cooed gently, his other hand slide itself around your waist to gently rub your back with calming warmth. “Uh huh.. The test went well today..” You murmured, eyes still focusing to his as you latched onto his strong arms.

You are 10 years his junior, you practically met when he was holding a lecture on the academy where you trained to be an agent.. an FBI agent just like him. The first gaze you laid upon each other, ignited the fire like no other, the desire and lust and.. gentle itching feeling of blossoming crush embedded deep inside both of your insides, practically screaming at yourselves to just.. get to know each other.

Getting to know each other, you did. It started off as a nervous filled dates, though he was a proper gentleman, bringing you on classic dates to libraries where you would borrow books you both haven’t read or something you just want to read and then reading it together on the window sill. Your first kiss was over a cup of coffee perched on the sill with Anna Karenina on your lap and Russian Literature on his, the kiss was magnificent that you were sure that if soulmates were real, he was— is your soulmate.

The first time you were intimate with each other was a rather cliche experience, cliche and romantic. After the 5th official date where he asked you to be his, you both went to his place which funnily was only a block away from where your apartment building sits. Rounds and rounds, you both savored the moment like you were made for each other; Ares & Aphrodite, Apollo & Calliope, Orpheus & Eurydice. The first one was gentle, desire filled love making against the bed, where he touched your skin like he touched your soul, where he kissed your lips like he kissed your fluttering heart, where he thrusts into you like a mad man, your mad man.

The next round varies, from the one where you were both on the edge of the bed when you accidentally slipped out the word “daddy.” which only made him thrust harder with an impossibly loud groans of “Call me that again—fuck!”. There was one where he choked you, fucking the soul out of you that you both ended up on the floor— not even bothering to stop by then. After the 4th round, you were both spent.. spent and absolutely basked in heavenly reality— reality that will always engulf you both.. Soulmates.

“You’ll nail it, i know you will, daddy knows best doesn’t he?” He chuckled, but his gaze darken, his grip tighten, and his head.. his head tilted in a mocking way, not mocking your ability of course but rather.. ‘Daddy Knows Best, Doesn’the?’ You knew then he found out, found your dirty dirty little secret that you tried to keep hidden (or at least for the most part)

You see, a week ago, Spencer left for a case— a pretty short one though you were desperate every time you separated from each other. You missed him so much, missed spencer but also.. you miss your daddy, your rock, your dominant. You missed his touch, missed his cock, missed his kisses, fuck you missed him so much that you were willing to break one of his most important rule. ‘No touching yourself without daddy’s sole permission, and no cumming without his permission too.’

You knew you could’ve asked, could’ve begged for him to make you cum over the phone but you couldn’t.. one part because you knew he was busy, and you had to wait at least until midnight to get him to call you.. but the other part of you, the nasty brat he calls it, was eager to be punished, to be settled back on its place. You craved the way his palm.. those genius palm slapped your ass and cunt raw until they sting so painfully that you knew you wouldnt be able to sit down tomorrow. You craved the way you were on the brink of consciousness as his hand choke your neck like he owns you.. and yeah.. he truly owns you.

So you did the most obvious, you touched yourself, you came without his permission, and you used the new vibrators he specifically asked you to not use it until he comes back. 3 rules broken and you were happy.. giddy about it. But know that he knew, you felt.. almost guilty, lust still covered you, the severe thrill still clouds you but you feel guilty, guilty that you have disappointed your daddy.

“Daddy, I—“

“Shh, Good girls gets to speak, Brats like you gets nothing.” He hissed, demeanor changed 180 as his grip tighten as much as he could and his palm goes from giving you calmness to slap your ass cheeks like you were his punching bag. You mewled and whined, before he hoist you up his arm, to move both of you to the bedroom.

“Gonna show you just what nasty desperate kittens like you get, gonna ruin you like a rag doll.” Thrown you into the bed like a rag doll is exactly what he did, you bounced a little before propping your body with your elbows to watch him sauntered over to the closer. “Was going to make you a nice dinner pet, romantic and shit, but you just had to be a slut.. for daddy huh?” He said from the closet, making you bit your lip in guilt.

“Please daddy, i’m sorry!”

“Told you to stay fucking quiet.” He rasped, pulling a few things from the closet, then making his way back to where you were laid, clothes already off. “But, i was just—“ He cuts you off by pinching your nipples hard as he placed a handcuff, a belt, and a gag— a ring gag to be exact.

“Since you can’t keep your filthy whore mouth shut, i’m going to place this—“ He grabbed the gag, carefully scurrying it around your head, “There you go, looking like a cute slutty brat that you are.” He pats your head, before securing the handcuffs around your wrist up above your head.

“Aw my baby drooling already? You’re practically begging to get your face fucked, princess.” He cooed, god he’s so different in private like this, he knows every one of your weak spots, every word that makes your heart leaps and your pussy clenched, every damn move and touches that have you begging for more, yearning for more, and being so needy over it. A man like Spencer, thrived in the feeling of having control over something for extensive amount of time, he doesn’t mind not being the typical alpha male on the streets, but here in his sheets every night— he’s the predator, and you my darling, is his frail prey.

The only thing you could let out is a pathetic mewl as he slapped the skin of your gorgeous breasts, his gaze hungry as he trailed them down your body, your gorgeous curves, it almost as if he’s worshipping every damn mark and inch of skin— silently thanking whoever made you possible for how your body just as it is.

“beautiful, could be eating you out right now, but you decided to be bad.” He tsk’d, causing you to whimper and buck your hips which he slapped your thigh for, “No buckin’ up on daddy. Be good.”

Be good,

Be good, Y/N.

Suddenly, suddenly your eyes droops just a little, you were still so still you held in your breath, your cheeks warmth as you feel yourself entering the very very fuzzy space where the only thing that exists is Y/N and Daddy. Be good, she has to be good for him because she has disappointed him again for being a— your thought were cut short as he cup your cheek, noticing how your body language changes, your daddy always knows after all.

“Shh, you’re good princess. hey are you with me? want me to stop? take the gag off, little one?” He cooed, as you momentarily shake your head with such eager, gesturing for him that no.. no you don’t want him to stop, you did a bad naughty thing and you need to be punished. Spencer has spent all his time studying your behavior, your every little detail— expression, body language, every damn thing to know just what it is you want, you need, you.. crave.

“Alright but if you feel any discomfort you’ll tap daddy with your legs okay? you can even kick him, daddy won’t mind..” He chuckled, which earned a strangled laugh from you— “Oh go and speak now angel, love watching you all messy and drooly.” He laughed, before flipping you so that you were laid face down with your ass up as your hips being propped up by a pillow.

Crack!

So sudden , it was so sudden, the loud impact sound of his belt against your skin echoed on the very walls of your room. Your head thrown back as your saliva steadily running down your chin, your eyes breaming with tears, and you let out a very very adorable strangled cries. “Fuck, thats it, take it, take your punishment and maybe, just maybe daddy’ll be a little lenient towards you tonight.”

Crack!

You didn’t count, you lost track of how many times the harsh leather has hit your skin, now burning with tremendous guilt and burning lustful desire. Your tears soaked the pillow case like a damn river, yet he didn’t relent not until he felt like you’ve learned your lesson.

and honestly.. you wouldn’t ask for anything else.

“Pretty girl, so so good for daddy shh, come here.” He wrapped you up in his arms as he remove the gag and handcuffs altogether, you were a panting drooly mess as he presses tiny loving kisses on your forehead— body completely engulfing you in his warmth. “D-daddy.. am i.. am i forgiven?” You hiccups, looking up at him to seek for comfort.. for his forgiveness, his his his.

“Oh sweetheart, i wasn’t mad at you, was just putting you back on your place. You’re so so good for me.” he cooed, gently easing you up his lap, trailing his fingers from your hair down to your arms, your tummy, and heading further south. “I love you daddy... thank you for correcting me.”

Spencer could drown, drown inside your pretty eyes, just get lost in it forever, until he suffocates and die a happy man. He would be the prisoner in your version of heaven no doubt, he was never a religious man, but if there’s a higher power— it’s you, a damn goddess— his true revelation.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Let me take care of you okay?” He whispered, positioning you properly, your back against his chest, your head adorably tucked under his chin, and your thighs spread with his knees below yours. You were a giggling mess, hazy in your space but so so drunk on pleasure, “Please please please!” You whimpered greedily, trying to grind down on his bare cock.

“Patience is virtue, angel. Let’s get you nice and ready hm? know you’re too tight to take all of me.” He whispered, which resulted in you yelling— cutting him off a little way too loudly.

“But i can! i can take it, daddy! please let me show you!” God you didn’t know what you did to him, what your damn gorgeous eyes did to his psyche, to his cock. Begging like that, making him wants to ruin you, making him wants to release the very very hungry beast inside of him— ruin ruin ruin you oh so beautifully.

“Alright, you asked for it. Don’t go blabbing about being too full, you brat.” He smacked your thigh before positioning his hard, thick hard long cock on your entrance, slowly pushing his impossible length up your tummy. “Oh! oh oh! daddy!” You cried, cried and mewled like a kitten.

His length was not even halfway in and yet you were filled so fully that your head spins. “Take it, just a lil more, doing so good.” He rasps, feeling your cunt impossibly tight around his cock, warm and snug. “Please daddy...” You whimpered, not even know what the pleading was for but you pleads for him— with him.

When he finally got all his length stuffed deep inside your weepy cunt, his mouth nip and bite at the skin of your neck, trying to hold back the grunts as he moves slowly, thrusting up to your tight cunt.

“Fuck so damn tight, kitten.” You shuddered as the tip of his cock hit your spot perfectly, he was in so deep that all the sound that dripped from your lip was ‘ah! ah ah! d-‘

“Take it, take it, take it.” Was all he chanted as he settled you so you seated up right on his lap, before bouncing you up and down his length. Spencer was deeper this way, way way deep inside your walls, massaging every pulsing need you’ve held for awhile.

“So big! so— oh! please daddy faster!” You moaned wantonly, bouncing yourself up and down his cock, gasping as he places his palm on your tummy where the imprint his cock nestled deep inside you was so prominent that he cried out loud. “Feel it huh? feel it deep inside your tummy?”

“Yes yes yes oh fuck! S-Spencer!” You knew just how much he loves it when you moaned his name, so even in your fuzzy space, you moaned it, because you love him and he was practically fucking the living soul outta you. “I love you— fuck me i love you, gonna cum hm?” He whispered, moving his hand down, down down down then pressing his thumb on your clit to rub it.

“Daddy no! no i-i’ll make a mess!” Of course he knows this, knows that the burn on your ass constantly slapping against his thigh turns you on like nothing else, knows that his cock was filling you up so good that you could practically feel him inside your throat, knows that the rubbing of his thumb will have you squirting on his cock in no time.

“But daddy— shit, daddy wants you to make a mess, go on little one.. make a big mess.” And so you did, you did hard— squirting on his cock like river was streaming down your cunt, your walls pulses around his cock like a vibrator and the grip was like vice, sending him to absolute bliss himself— cumming inside you shortly after as you shake and writhe above him.

“I love you Y/N fuck— fuck i love you so fucking much.” He fucked you through your and his orgasm like a mad man, burying his face on your neck as his cum was buried inside your cunt. You were panting so hard, body still shaking as he leave trail of kisses on the column of your throat before tilting your head to kiss your lips softly.

“D-Daddy?” You meekly whispered, lips trembling as you spoke after he hummed, “can you stay inside? want to keep you inside please..”

And who’s Spencer Reid to deny his goddess’s wishes

xx,d

#insufferableblurb #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #daddy!spencer #dom!spencer #dom!spencer x sub!reader #mgg smut #matthew gray gubler smut #smut #criminal minds smut

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