#jesus he looked fugly

[zleepysnails]

Hi! I saw a lot of your Spooky Month opposites au and was wondering if you happened to have more character designs? I saw one of a veterinarian dexter once that I might have seen on either yours or @/jacenotjason's blogs, but I can't find it anymore

oh yes i do!! i made a design for most of the characters but i dont have the refs because i deleted them 💔💔 (jace has the images if you wanna see them!! but theyre old and ugly so im gonna redraw them anyway)

also an opposite dexter for ya!!

[ive-been-timebombed]

Part one

Danny is the daddy! And king- same thing.

Summoning rituals are the absolute worst. It happens too often and always ends up with one too many bruises.

Red Hood shifted on his knees and pulled at the rope that held his arms behind his back. He looked to Nightwing who was to the right of him in a similar situation only with more rope and tighter knots, he kept escaping so the cultists improvised. Red Hood looked back to the main excitement in the room and rolled his eyes at the idiotic scene.

A big circle of intricate lines and displays of many items. There were five displays, which Jason can only assume were offerings, one had a bag of food that looked similar to batburger. The second had what looked like a child’s school project on the solar system. The third held a map and a.. baby’s doll.? Jesus, what is this idiot summoning? The fourth was of a bright green liquid... Lazarus Pits? It was brighter than the actual pits and looked cleaner. Not to mention the bubbling was also missing from the vile of the pits. The last was a plant and a bag of sand... Jason gave up on trying to understand whatever the hell the fugly dude was trying to summon.

Speaking of.. the man that was scurrying around the circle looking at it making sure everything was good. He looked insane, with almost bright blue skin, black hair, and cultist-type robes. Not to mention the slight transparency of the man. Jason decided his name was gonna be Wickham.

“Oh finally! I’ll get to summon my king to this blasted world” Wickham stepped back from his summoning circle with a wicked grin, “If only my king didn’t have such strange needs to be summoned..” Wickham looked over to the vigilantes and moved in front of them his hands folding behind his back

“I guess you guys don’t know what I’m summoning do y’all?” Oh great.. he’s about to go on a rant.. “Don’t worry! You’ll find out soon!” Wickham turned to his circle again and stood in front of it. He got down to his knees bowing his head and bringing his hands together. He started to speak, a language Jason had never heard, and by the sounds of it neither had Dick.

The circle started to glow the Lazarus green. Jason felt like he couldn’t breathe. The weight of the ritual was suffocating, and despite feeling like he could grasp Wickham's words, they remained nonsensical.

Strangely enough, Jason couldn’t understand what he was feeling. It felt like longing for something that he never had.. like a warm hug from his father, Willis. He could feel excitement and yearning for the green to overcome the room and cover him in the comfort of.. the distant memory of singing and the cold of a rooftop.

_______________

Despite what many had assumed of Danny, he quite enjoyed the summonings. They weren’t too often and gave him an excuse to leave his boring meetings. When he felt the pull of a summons he grinned and waved to the idiot ghosts that were arguing in front of him and disappeared.

He opened his eyes seeing the usual scene of his summonings.. ignoring the strangely dressed mortals that were tied up near the wall.

“King of the Infinite Realms, Ancient of space and the unknown, Defeater of Pariah Dark, Honored of the Far Frozen, Knight of-“ The summoner listed off. Danny sighed he should really get rid of most of the titles..

“Blah- Blah- Blah. What do you want, Mortal..”Danny asked looking down at the summoner and hesitated at the end seeing the slight transparency of him..

The summoner stopped speaking and bowed further to the ground, “My King! I ask that you cleanse this cursed world and take it for your own! With me as your trust-“ Danny once again interrupted

“I’m good, already own this dimension. It’s only one of the infinite-“ Danny groaned before he froze.. this dimension.. it was his home dimension. The very same he was born in and dead. The same he protected with his undead life when ghosts invaded his town.. The same he left his child in to live in..

“My liege?” The summoner spoke up hesitantly glancing up at the halfa.

Danny didn’t bother to acknowledge the mortal. He was to distracted by the small very similar essence to his own only a few steps away. He looked to the tied up mortals and stared at the one that had a red helmet. The red helmet stared back his core begging for help and the support of its paternal core essence.

When Danny was first introduced to the idea of being king he was put in lessons by the many leaders around the realms. First was with Frostbite, the Leader of the Far Frozen, who taught him the biology and science behind ghost. Embarrassingly, he also had to sit through the sex talk once again. But from what he was taught when a ghost has a child or Ling short for Ghostling. That Ling would be connected to its parents or parent for ectoplasm as it would be to young to absorb ectoplasm on its own. The steady stream of ectoplasm would be used to power the young ghostlings core and nurture it to start absorbing ectoplasm on its own. The connection also helped the parent when they needed the location of their ling or just wanted to check up on them. The connection was like a cellphone that only connected to the child to the parent. It told them the location, needs, even if the Ling needed extra ectoplasm. It could be used for a call to come or even a scream for help.

When Danny was younger he had a kid.. the baby was an accident that he didn’t know about till it was left on his doorstep with a letter saying it was his. He called the kid his Baby JayJay short for Jason. He couldn’t feel a core inside the child so he assumed that Jay didn’t inherit his ghostly habits. So he didn’t form the connection between their cores, he didn’t want to hurt the still living soul of his baby by feeding it unneeded ectoplasm. Danny couldn’t stay in his dimension however.. due to the active laws against his kind. And he didn’t want to drag his child into something he didn’t need to be apart of. So he forced down his core wants and said goodbye to his baby JayJay. Then left for the infinite realms to be crowned and ever wondering what happened to his baby.

_________________

Jason couldn’t describe the feeling when he saw the being Wickham had summon finally appear.

It was a human body despite the many not human things. Their hair was a snow white and their eyes glowed a bright green. The clothes they wore had similarities of kings clothing it was a black with gold accents and a star covered cape. The cape floated like it went beyond gravity which Jason assume it did. The man had sharp canines and pointed ears. His hair floated similar to his cape, defying gravity. The feet of the being faded to invisible as it reached the floor. The glowing green flickering off to blue crown on the beings head drooped back a the being landed on the ground.

“King of the Infinite Realms, Ancient of space and the unknown, Defeater of Pariah Dark, Honored of the Far Frozen, Knight of-“ Wickham started before being interrupted by the being.. King Phantom?

“Blah- Blah- Blah. What do you want, Mortal..” The kings voice was echoey and smooth, Jason swore he heard the voice before.

“My King! I ask that you cleanse this cursed world and take it for your own! With me as your trust-“ Do Wickham was a stereotypical cultist. Only wanting one thing that will likely never gain. The being interrupted him again.

“I’m good, already own this dimension. It’s only one of the infinite-“ The king rolled their eyes before they froze their voice stopping with them. They were looking off into the distance so Jason could only guess the being realized something.

Wickhams voice felt muffled when Jason heard him as the being looked straight at him and Jason stared back.

[junespriince]

Winged heart au

Wally, walking out of his bedroom, in Nightwing gifted PJ set: Nightwing, it's 3am I swear to— ah shit it's the rest of the clowns, is.... My window!? You broke it!

Jason, to Tim: see, he's exactly his type, pay up.

Tim, fishing out his wallet: well his driver's license ain't flattering I thought he was fugly.

Wally: insulting me in my own damn home, AND BROKE MY WINDOW! you're paying for this, or I'm sueing.

Damian, at Wally's turtle terrarium: good size, good bedding, looks healthy. Well, I like him for his excellent reptile care, he may date Nightwing.

Bruce: we can't decide that on reptile care, he could be a villain.

Wally: I'm about to be, stop eating my food! Get out!!

Duke, eating warmed up leftovers: damn he can cook, Nightwing needs to bag him before I do.

Bruce: no... You're 16...

Cass: plus, Wing will kill you if you take his man

Steph: def def, but dibs on coming here for breakfast!

Wally: no! No dibs!! Leave!!

Dick: hey babygirl... Why are you guys here.

Jason: scoping out our new brother in law, duh.

Steph: babygirl? Really?? Jesus you're a simp.

Wally: that's it! I'm calling my mom.

Jason: ha! We know your not in contact with your abusive bios.

Wally, on the phone: I wasn't talking about her.

Bruce, knows Iris: ... Shit shit shit get me out of here the kevlar not strong enough against that woman!

Iris, bust through the door: Batman, what the hell did I just told you about bothering my baby boy!?

Bruce, trying to get out but kids in the way: IT WAS THEM THEY DRAGGED ME WITH THEM PLEASE, HAVE MERCY!

Jason: damn, no loyalty with this man.

Barry: not when it's Iris.

[respectthepetty]

The people at Idol Factory earn their paychecks AND deserve raises!

Who else is giving me great shots like above or of Kim not being seen as an actual person in the first half of episode four?

She doesn't even see herself!

She never takes a second to focus on herself.

Because even as she leaves, all her focus is on Wan, which is where her focus has always been!

Even homeboy's drone didn't see Kim, but it was great that he was introduced much MUCH higher than her since it seems like he owns the resort, the bar, the gallery, and who even knows what else.

Even when Kim is confronted with some hard truths about Wan never being able to follow through with her promises, KIM STILL DOESN'T LOOK IN THE MIRROR! She is not having a Hot Girl Summer, yet refuses to *reflect* on the reasons why she is not living her best life.

Thanks to her buddy, she getS some clarity, but per usual, Idol Factory puts the focus back on funky sex, and I love that for us.

But while Kim refuses to have a Come to Jesus moment, Wan is being confronted with some hard truths of her own, like her mama gotta a drinking problem.

But her mother is quick to slap people in her defense, so she gets my approval. Sidenote: They go to IDF = Idol Factory School where the the motto is "Knowledge Make Dream Come True" and once they realize they love each other, their dreams will come true . . . literally. *gasp*

Back to the drinking problems! Kim choosing a blue drink when that is one of Wan's colors as she was missing her girl was *chef's kiss*

But the fact that she went from blue light to pink light as she decided to drink the red strawberry margarita instead of her original drink when one of her colors is pink WAS EVEN BETTER since she is starting to pick herself over Wan! This is how you get nominated for a Colors Award.

Also, I do not care how many times Heng plays the disruptor, I will always enjoy him, and I especially like him as Mawin because he immediately appreciates Kim the way she deserves with her tiny lies about not being drunk.

But back to the ladies and colors! As I thought, in the dream world, Wan is in black.

And Kim shows up in white.

But I liked the fireworks showing "Sorry" yet Kim not taking the apology like she usually does.

Because even though they have been through a lot, and Wan used to show up for her, now Wan is all about herself.

I did enjoy the flashback scenes in general since they are wearing crowns with blue and pink jewels.

I'm making no comment about the Pink Box though.

But I am going to state that this blue candy cane dress is fugly just like Wan's wild ass decision to tell Mawin to NOT hire Kim.

However, Kim is in a floral print and they're standing next to Anastasia Balabina's painting of the Redhead Girl and Butterflies, so Kim is ready to spring from her cocoon and be the beautiful butterfly she was meant to be.

So the only butterflies Wan will be left with are the ones on her ears.

And her body

Because the color-coded girl she loves is about to spread her wings and FLY AWAY!

Alexa, play Mariah Carey's "Butterfly"!

[shitswiftiessay]

I actually thought this was a fucking voiceover at first because he sounds so ridiculous but no, this is how Taylor Swift’s new boyfriend, Travis Kelce, speaks.

And I have never felt so much second-hand embarrassment in my fucking life. Jesus, Taylor, this is your “PRIZE?” I swear I could see a hint of embarrassment in Taylor’s “proud” smile. THIS is the guy she’s been burning up the planet to go visit.

He’s using what many people have described as a fake put-on blaccent, his beard looks as unwashed as his ass, and he looks like a fucking duck dynasty reject. He’s loud, obnoxious, fugly as hell, and he looks and sounds like a january 6th insurrectionist. And y’all think Joe Alwyn is crying himself to sleep over this frat boy redneck?? WHAT??

But swifties will worship him like a god and dickride him into the sunset because he’s Taylor’s CurrentBoyfriend™️ and they’ll make him out like he’s just PERFECT-until the second they break up and then they’ll talk about how obnoxious and ugly he is and how he was clearly using Taylor for fame.

In the meantime, Joe Alwyn will continue to live in their heads rent fucking free as they pretend that hillbilly garden gnome is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

[crazy000567]

Ok I wanted to talk about this on my twitter but realized it will appeal to no one so its going here. Being autistic about critter character designs. VERY LONG

Pim/Charlie/Allan/Glep have interesting designs to me like they are some of my favorite character designs possibly in any cartoon cause they're all very well balanced - easy to draw, cute, but slightly ugly also. Well maybe not ugly but certainly not Conventional.

(Glep applies slightly less there, he's just straight up a cute lil guy, how plushies don't exist of him yet baffles me)

I like their slight offputting quirks, like, Allan's spine is visible, Pim's Teeth. They are just strange creatures and I enjoy that. Of course there's also the fact all of their frontfacings (maybe slightly excluding pim's) are just kinda goofy and bizarre looking.

Its just, the choices being made here are really good, okay. They're very appealing lined up, yknow.

The fact they are just kinda cute sometimes makes the expressions being pushed and the weird quirks funnier. If pim was an ugly lil freak all the time it would be less effective when he does that weird awkward toothy laugh. Which brings me to my next "Point" which is like, I really enjoy that they are some of the only critters that arent.... fugly as hell

There are some few exceptions with BG/side characters (just look at amy, shes a pretty gal) but like, most of the side critters that have gotten screentime are very very strange. Allan's landlord is a prime recent example. Look at that guy. Jesus christ.

This is not to say the uglier designs are Bad, quite the opposite, I love when they are hideous <3 But the whole thing is, if the main characters we see every episode were on the same level as them appearance-wise it would get very tired. This is probably like, entry level design stuff for a cartoon, and not very interesting to anyone lol, but with adult cartoons it feels like it can go way too hard on the ugly scale.

Onto the next thing thats been on my mind lately when it comes to critters - I enjoy that their appearances truly are pretty random. Its fun to make things like crittersonas cause like, you can almost do whatever the hell you want lol

I like that some of them just dont feel like wearing clothes, this was talked about by Michael on twitter at some point a few years back I think.

Their hair is a topic that kind of mystifies me lmfao like we see the wiry sparse hair a lot (gnarly, filmore, etc) but then there are characters like amy, pims dad and duncan that have more full human-esque hair. This makes me wonder if its like, randomly possible for some critters to get full heads of hair, or if wigs/hair transplants are a thing, or even if hairloss is just more common which results in the wiry hair later in life. Really NOT important or compelling to anyone but me but I seriously do think about this. Critter Hair Essay coming soon (i'm kidding ............. or am i?)

Also just like, the concept of what critter beauty standards or smth could be sort of interests me, but this is getting incomprehensibly long and stupid anyway, and I would have to be going into heavy Speculation Mode there. so BYE Goodbye

[bttrflyeffekt]

butterflyeffect does the oversharing candy salad trend <3 (obviously inspired by myah @venusvity) tw for mentioned grooming, child abandonment, child neglect, violence, stalking, and akito being akito.

“I'm going first," Akito announces as the camera shifts its focus from the butterfly shaped fairy lights to the group in front of it.

Xinyi scoffs. “No, you're not! It's my Tik Tok accou–" 

He ignores her protests, holding up a comically large clear plastic container before setting it on the table in front of him. “I'm Akito, and when I was fourteen I started a fight club in my school.” Shaking the bag in his hand, he grins, "I brought Hershey's chocolate drops."

Glaring at him as he steps to the side, Xinyi takes his place. “I'm Xinyi. I brought a generic bag of sour gummy worms.” She dumps the bag into the container, making sure to shake out the excess sugar from the bottom of the bag. “And when I was younger I was a child star, and this thirty year old man became obsessed with me and would follow my tour bus in his Chrysler Sebring.”

"Did they arrest him?” Patch asks, as Heejin steps into frame.

Xinyi pauses, then solemnly says, "No. But my bàba tased him in the throat, so he stopped coming around." 

Heejin smiles at the camera, proudly holding up her bag of Airhead gummies. “I'm Heejin, I brought these gummy Airheads because everyone hates them and I thought it would be funny." She empties the bag into the container with a laugh. “In 2018, I had a really fugly bob because a sasaeng snuck into our old apartment and cut a chunk of my hair when I was asleep, like directly in the middle of the back of my head.”

Sookyung snorts a laugh as she's pushed into frame. "I forgot about that,” she exclaims, obviously delighted at the memory, as she looks at the camera with a smile. "I'm Sookyung, and recently a deep fake nude of me went viral online and they made my boobs too small. Also Akito liked it.” Akito made a scandalized noise, but didn't deny it. "Oh! And I brought chocolate covered pretzels!”

She gently pulls an obviously nervous Hajoon into the frame, and pats him on the back.

He brushes his hair out of his eyes before holding up his candy. “I'm Hajoon, I brought Swedish fish, and I realized last month that my favorite teacher groomed me." He turns to Sookyung. “Is that too dark?" 

“No!" she exclaims, “You're doing great!" 

He smiles to himself, stepping to the side to let Sungho into frame.

“Hi, I'm Sungho. This was before I knew I was gay, so that makes it extra funny, but, once I was having a conversation with our old CEO, and I mentioned having a girlfriend back home – just to test the waters and see how he'd react – and he laughed in my face, then called me a slur.” He holds up a peace sign beside his eye. "I brought Hi-chews, the desert kind.”

"This is all gonna taste like shit,” Patch states, as he takes Sungho’s place. "I'm Patch, and I was added to this group as damage control because Akito is the worst person in the world, and in my first week, I got 537 death threats.” He pauses to read the front of his bag. "Heejin brought peach rings for me to dump because I didn't have enough time to buy my own candy.”

Akito makes an incredulous noise. “You counted?”

Xinyi shoves past him to stop him from going first again, smiling as he grunts at the impact of their bodies colliding. “Hey, Xinyi again. A few years ago – three now, I think – my parents disowned my brother for being gay, and I lost contact with him,” Patch and Hajoon made wounded noises on her behalf as she held up her candy, “I have Jolly Ranchers that Hajoonie unwrapped for me.”

“Can I go now, or are you gonna bodyslam me if I try?” Akito asks.

“Nope!” Heejin says with a giggle before jumping into frame. “I’m Heejin, and I had to go no contact with my mom last year because she bullied me into having an eating disorder. I have chocolate covered pomegranates.”

She yanks Patch into frame, just to stop Akito from coming in. “Jesus Christ, Jinnie,” Patch says with a laugh, “I’m still Patch, and on my third day under our company, before I was even going to take his job or anything, Akito threatened to stab me because he said that I looked at him funny.”

“It was a misunderstanding!” Akito exclaims as Patch pulls Sungho on screen.

“I’m Sungho. This time I have another bag of Jolly Ranchers that Joonie unwrapped, because none of us communicated the kind of candy we were going to bring with one another,” he grumbles, obviously grumpy. Hajoon laughs, which makes him smile. “Um, I grew up in a cult that my parents run.”

Sookyung cackled. “You can’t just drop that with no context!”

“I can do whatever I want,” Sungho argues, laughing as well. He tries to pull her in, to stop Akito, but he’s shoved to the side as Akito bulldozes past him.

“I’m Akito, and I hate all of my members,” he snaps, “Um, when I was twelve, my mom abandoned me and my dad because she said she hated our masculine energy.”

“Oh my God,” Heejin says, mouth open in shock, “Is that why you’re a raging misogynist?”

The girls all cackle in sync, as he goes red in the face. “Fuck off.”

“Ok, my turn,” Hajoon says, giggling at Akito’s rage. “I brought Sour Patch Strawberries,” He dumps the candy into the container, before pausing to think. “Okay, um, I’m the youngest of six, so my parents were basically out of fucks to give once I was born, and when I was, like, eight, they forgot me at the mall for an hour and a half.”

Sookyung laughs so loud that it makes him jump. “Oh my god. You poor baby,” she says, coming into frame to hug him. Arms wrapped around his shoulders, she says. “I’m Sookyung, and I only brought one bag of candy because I didn’t realize we were going more than once. Um, one time, during a performance, my clip on bangs flew off and hit Hajoonie in the eye, and we thought he was going to go blind.”

Xinyi is laughing so hard that she’s shaking as she steps into view holding a tiny pair of plastic tongs. “I stole these from the company cafeteria,” she explains as she begins mixing the candy. “Oh my God, we definitely cannot post this,” she exclaims, breathless.

[unlicensedmortician]

welcome to bad movies with j&j, the segment where @ghostcasket and i watch bad movies while alex is gone. this time it’s divergent.

- i’ve never read any of the books or watched any of the movies before. btw

- oh this is gonna be terrible

- OH THIS IS GONNA BE TERRIBLE. THE EXPOSITION.

- they’re color coded,,,,,

- “there’s everyone else and then there’s dauntless who are cool hot sexy cops” jesus

- wow she doesn’t fit in,,, who could have seen this coming

- that is the most Blonde White Girl i’ve ever seen

- THIS IS SO STUPID. THIS IS SOOOO STUPID.

- they can’t look at mirrors for too long,,,,

- and they’re fucking color coded

- there are literally five personality traits and that is a real explicit part of this media

- better lock into one of those personality traits miss white girl protagonist. wonder what it will possibly be

- i can’t believe their social organization system is literally just “so we’re gonna put every teenager on an acid trip and see what happens”

- white girl discovers she has multiple personality traits, is incredibly distressed

- what’s up with how this movie treats homeless people.

- i want to claw my eyeballs out

- wow this dialogue isn’t even stilted at all

- she picked 12yo boys in gym class. obviously

- hey is run boy run by wood kid ruined forever now

- yes girl climb that piece of infrastructure. is this a big moment for you or

- why pick the doing stupid shit option if you don’t wanna do stupid shit i guess

- i shrieked out loud when i saw the love interest. why he fugly

- it’s the pit 👍

- THIS IS SO FUCKING STUPID

- this is fucking crazy

- plot point: she’s too frail and delicate and skinny 🙁

- that tattoo is so stupid and also ugly

- she’s a threat to society because she is so so special and good at everything. i fucking guess

- ok. sure. training montage. i guess.

- he just looks so much older than her that this is unsettling

- so ur saying that u have to be fucking stupid to be a part of the cool hot people class. great.

- i cannot believe it’s real and a key plot point that the biggest threat to their society is people with multiple personality traits

- of course she’s getting on the train anyway. whatever.

- people actually thought this was good??

- imagine if christina and tris had been the main couple. it wouldn’t have solved anything but it would have been cool for me personally

- girl you are about to get so hazed. oh nvm it’s a zip line

- this romance plot makes me want to start killing and im being serious

-OH MY FUCKING GOD. SHES NEURODIVERGENT. AND THEY JUST TOOK THE NEURO OFF OF THAT AND WENT YEAH THATS THE TITLE. IM LOSING IT

- o shit her mother defected. lmao

- that’s not even a little bit how any of this works at all. fear serum? kill me

- this is so fucking stupiddddd

- this is just. crazy insane contrived.

- like what do you MEAN one personality type is leading the whole government. that’s crazy. i’m gonna start hitting people with cars. i’m gonna take up smoking.

- yeah of course this mf shows up to save her. as opposed to literally any cooler option. more points to the incredibly contrived romance plot.

- jesus fucking christ????

- hey i know u just showed me all of your worst fears. can u strip

- oh okay they’re. making out now?

- smart people evil. i guess.

- she’s just tooooo special.

- the only good thing about this movie is the soundtrack thank you hans zimmer

- oh my god one of her worst fears is boning

- hello what the shit is happening. oh my god they fucking shot him. damn this is crazy.

- gasp he’s divergent too who could’ve seen this coming except for literally anyone ever.

- of course they killed her fucking mom

- oh And her dad? equal opportunity parent killing!

- ok well. that movie happened. and made so much money. thank god it’s over. i’d like to be financially compensated

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

gotham time feat. special guest Phoebe

what's up everybody, time for a special liveblog featuring the cat who I'm currently babysitting and subjecting to my awful taste in television!

last time I was babysitting Phoebe and made her watch Gotham with me she tried to smother herself to death in the couch, so I really can't wait to see what she thinks of season 5.

Gotham 5x07

I am actually going to stay mad about how stupid it is that Barbara somehow knows she's pregnant like a week, tops, after she and Jim had sex

the passage of time in this season is in shambles. like it's never been a particularly solid timeline, we are infamously NOT running a tight ship over here on Gotham, but come on

whatever compliment sandwich: sweet young David Mazouz really mastered the Bruce Wayne tendency to stand hunched over a series of maps looking stoic and haunted in a black turtleneck

this episode just casually drops that Bruce's parents were murdered on June 27th and I'm so glad that I'm watching this episode today (June 24th) instead of three days from now because I probably would have been so unnerved seeing the real date reflected back at me from this show that I'd like. I don't know. start believing in angel numbers and crystal healing or something.

Barbara asking Lee to be her obstetrician is actually like. insane 4d chess flirting. yes I still think they should hook up I don't care they've both done worse (Jim)

is Lee even qualified to be an obstetrician.

anyway I don't believe for a second Barbara wouldn't abort that thang for the love of god the city is a smoking crater

this is what happened when Oswald hoards all the Plan B (a joke exclusively for @dykerory and I)

Cameron Monaghan's Jeremiah look is so fugly but that purple (???) lip is kind of cunt cunt serve

once again begging for literally any information on how old the Valeska twins are supposed to be as Jeremiah becomes more and more of a yandere to our little teen Bruce. for those of you just joining us Jeremiah is played by a mid-twenties Monaghan but is old enough to have had a very successful career in architecture prior to becoming basically the Joker, so. truly anyone's guess.

in conclusion: why is he obsessed with this teenager.

sorry maybe I should clarify that the main Bruce plot of this episode is tht Jeremiah has kidnapped and brainwashed a.) Alfred and b.) two randos who have been given plastic surgery to look like Thomas and Martha so that he can force Bruce to relive the night they were murdered BUT with Jeremiah there this time because he's upset that he wasn't there for one of the most important nights of Bruce's life. they're currently having dinner in the Wayne Manor kitchen while Jeremiah breathes heavily at Bruce about how intimate this is.

what I'm saying is that this would all be deeply and upsettingly erotic were one participant not almost certainly too young to vote

like I said the timeline is SO funky and they're so careful to never tell you how old Bruce and Selina are but David Mazouz is 22 RIGHT NOW four years after the series ended. so.

"I've realized if we can't be friends then we can be connected in... other ways" Jeremiah I'm calling the cops

JERVIS IS ALIVE ???

how were the first six episodes so nothing and then this episode has literally everything happening all at the same time

okay so Wayne Manor just got blown to kingdom come

they literally have Ecco zipping around fighting on roller skates... you wanna be Harley soooo bad

honestly love to see the #growth of Oswald not immediately offering to suck off anyone who helps him anymore. Alfred just saved this little bitch's life and Oswald promptly told him to go fuck himself, which rules extra hard because you all know I hate Alfred

man this part in the movie theater is like that part of Joker War in the movie theater if Joker War didn't fucking suck

wanting to kill Bruce's father figure and going after Jim instead of Alfred is so disrespectful jesus christ

also god there's never been a Leslie Thompkins who is LESS of a mother to Bruce get out of here

wait oh my god Selina had a whole thing last episode about how much she hates herself for being too selfish to help when she (at 12 years old) saw Bruce's parents get murdered but she's going to come in now to help him stop Jeremiah from recreating that night with Jim and Lee... I see the vision I GET IT

this is like a freshman level plot to thread the needle on but that's really impressive for Gotham

oh my god Jeremiah fell in a vat at Ace Chemicals that's crazy. I'm sure that'll stick he's definitely dead.

they even managed to cram the Riddler in this episode jesus christ. pengriddler are fighting about Oswald homosexually naming his dog after Ed if you were curious. Oswald would like it to be noted that this was a compliment because he's VERY fond of that dog.

left off on Pengriddler deciding to make nice again and then promptly cuts to Oswald leading Ed into his house... this close to inventing m/m sex in the Gotham universe if Barbara hadn't interrupted

the Riddler has like 9263 unpleasant and unnerving traits but being able to look at a woman who's three days pregnant and instantly clock that she's expecting just rocketed to the top of the list

honestly. honestly. Emmy for Cory Michael Smith's delivery of "it's a submarine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯."

Barbara can't... kill people anymore... because she's pregnant... okay...

if we don't get the rogues throwing a baby shower literally what's the point of anything. this will all be for nothing.

genuinely thank god I'm only doing the one episode tonight this is SO LONG

[stark---contrast]

Simple Biology

For @bulkyphrase who won my stevetony fic auction in this year's @marveltrumpshate ❤️ Summary: Tony gets hit by sex pollen and Steve helps him out. Rating: Explicit | Smut, dubcon Word count: 9.8k [ao3 link]

“You ready?” Steve asked.

“Come on, Cap. When am I not ready to blast some bad guys?” 

Steve heard a repulsor whirring to life somewhere over his shoulder. Trusting Tony to cover his back, Steve tightened his grip on the shield, took a deep breath, and kicked the door in.

Steve advanced into the room while shielding himself and Tony, the Iron Man suit bathing everything in familiar blue light, and—

Nothing. The room was nearly empty—abandoned. What little furniture remained made it clear that this used to be some kind of greenhouse and not the top secret weapons development facility SHIELD had told them it was.

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Tony said, repulsors powering down. “J, scan for weapons, computers, secret panels—any tech that's not where it's supposed to be. Hell, throw in another thermal scan of the building, in case we missed some Hydra goons creeping around.”

“As you wish, Sir.”

“Tony, I… I don’t think there’s anything here,” Steve said. “Looks like bad intel.”

He took another glance around the room. There were plants lined up on desks along one of the walls, though most of them were wilted. A few office chairs and desks were scattered around, with broken computer screens and lab equipment laying on the floor. The most advanced technology remaining in the room seemed to be the high-powered lamps hanging above the plant section.

“Fuck,” Tony said, popping the faceplate of the armor, “This isn’t an evil Hydra lair. It’s a goddamn weed farm.”

“Tony,” Steve chastised.

“I mean it's clearly not cannabis—oh come on, don't give me that look, you went to art school,'' Tony said, and Steve didn't protest. “But, damn. All this trouble just for a couple fugly office plants?”

They probably should have been happy that there was nothing nefarious going on. But even Steve was feeling a little bummed: he'd been prepared for battle, and with the anticlimactic revelation it was like all his adrenaline had nowhere to go.

Though it was Tony who had been the most invested in this raid. Even if his name hadn’t come up in the mission brief, it only took the words “weapons development” for him to tense up during Hill's mission brief; and Steve couldn’t blame him. Bad guys worldwide had an uncanny ability of getting their hands on Stark tech and twisting it into something evil.

“Well, this was a waste of time,” Tony said, kicking at a beaker on the floor. “What an utterly stupid, inconsequential way to spend a Wednesday afternoon. Does Fury think I don't have anything better to do? Seriously, Pep's gonna have my head for canceling that seminar again.”

Steve ignored Tony's complaints and turned to leave. “We should report back.”

“I mean, we could take some samples of these,” Tony said, approaching the plants. “Get Bruce a souvenir so he doesn’t Hulk out while we bitch at Fury. You know, make this mission not a complete waste of Avengers time and resources?"

“SHIELD can do the grunt work,” Steve said. He frowned at the sight of Tony leaning over one of the plants; something felt off, but he couldn't pinpoint the cause. “Don't touch anything. Let’s just go.”

“Maybe Hydra's distilling the plants for some kinda super-evil-but-really-just-mildly-inconvenient poison elsewhere?” Tony kept going, not even listening. “Or, Jesus, even worse, what if some hare-brained aspiring scientist was inspired by good ol’ pal Killian's work—”

And that was when Tony, the most intelligent man Steve had met in his life, touched one of the mystery plants like an idiot.

Immediately, one of the flower buds burst open and spewed pollen right in Tony's face.

“Tony!” 

Steve leapt across the room, tackling a coughing Tony away from the worst of it. But in the scuffle, they bumped into a table and even more flowers erupted into a thick cloud. Steve couldn't help inhaling the substance but he shoved his hand over Tony's mouth and dragged him away.

“Tony!" Steve called out. "God, Tony, are you okay?”

Steve’s throat felt dry and he blinked pollen from his irritated eyes. Yet it was nothing compared to Tony; he looked like he could barely stay upright much less breathe, even now that they were out of the thick of it and Steve had a hand on Tony's shoulders to steady him.

“I, uh, agh,” Tony coughed, tears in his eyes.

“Hold on,” Steve said. “I’ll get you out of here. Please, just hold on.”

“I think I figured it out,” Tony wheezed. “They were—they weren't using my tech. They were making bioweapons.”

Tony erupted into another coughing fit and Steve’s heart sank into his stomach.

Tony got exposed to a Hydra bioweapon. Now, he was hacking his lungs out—what if he choked, or went blind? Or died? God, why did he have to touch the damn flower!?

Tony coughed violently and then spit out a glob of pollen goo. He followed up with a raspy breath, his face red since the faceplate had offered no protection, because rather than stay safe Tony had lifted it like an idiot.

Focus, Steve chastised himself. He could berate Tony later; for now, he just needed him safe.

“Tony, we have to leave,” Steve said, forcing his voice to be level. “There might still be traces of the poison in the air, and we can’t have you get more exposed.”

“I’m—I’m fine. I think.” Tony rubbed his eyes, then blinked them open. “J, scan my vitals, would you?”

“Your pulse is elevated and there is breathlessness and low oxygen from the coughing, but your blood is clear of toxins, Sir.”

Steve breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe they were wrong; maybe these were just regular flowers, and the worst Tony was left with was a runny nose.

“Sir, I don't wish to alarm you," JARVIS added. "But your body temperature appears to be rising at an abnormal rate."

“Shit,” Tony said. “Now that you mention it, it’s getting a little stuffy in this armor.”

“Stuffy?” Steve said. “Tony, what’s going on?”

“I feel…” Tony grimaced and reached a gauntleted hand over his shoulder. “Antsy. Itchy. This isn't—wow, this really isn’t good. Reminds me of spring break in '86, when me and Rhodey had a really bad acid trip. Have I told you about that? What am I saying, of course I haven't—"

“Your heart rate is continuing to increase," JARVIS interrupted. "I fear an allergic reaction to the unidentified substance is taking place."

“Fuck," Tony commented. "Get me outta this armor.”

“What?" Steve balked. "Come on, we've gotta go—”

Steve choked on the rest of his sentence when the armor hissed open and Tony stepped out. He was wearing nothing but his form-fitting black undersuit: the one that left nothing to the imagination, though Steve had spent an embarrassing amount of time picturing just what lay underneath.

Steve shook his head. Focus, soldier.

“JARVIS, send the—” Steve started.

“God, it's hot in here,” Tony said. “It’s not just me, right? It's like a sauna in here.”

And that was the point that Tony apparently decided to start stripping: unzipping the second skin of the underarmor like from one of Steve’s numerous fantasies and shrugging off the top half, exposing broad shoulders and tanned skin.

“Captain Rogers?” JARVIS prompted.

“Right. Send the Avengers alarm,” Steve said.

“Very good.”

“Jesus, fuck, I’m sweating bullets here,” Tony said, and he was panting now, his chest naked and sweaty, and Steve—

Steve stared.

It was still weird to see Tony without the arc reactor. Steve knew it meant he was healthy, which was amazing, but there was something beautiful about the reactor: like a physical reminder of Tony's genius.

Not that Tony wasn't beautiful like this, too. The mess of scars and sparse hair on his chest took nothing away from how utterly sinful he looked: skin flushed and chest heaving, with dark nipples, firm muscle, and a slight softness around his waist.

"That's…that's better, gotta love that nice, cool, secret-Hydra-lair air," Tony babbled, his eyes hazy, like he was no longer even registering that Steve was there. "But—but, fuck, it's still so hot, everything, everything's burning and I—I just…"

Tony groaned, and his hips moved, making an aborted thrust into the air. Steve's gaze followed the movement, and, wow, the undersuit really left nothing to the imagination.

Tony was hard, straining against the tight fabric of his pants. Steve’s neck flushed hot and he quickly averted his eyes: Tony was in pain, and his body was just confused. This was no time for Steve to act on his repressed feelings.

Unfortunately, Tony just then seemed to notice his arousal, and immediately dropped a hand down over his pants.

“Oh, god,” Tony moaned. "That feels, that's so good, holy shit."

Tony closed his eyes and started palming himself shamelessly through the thin fabric. And Steve just watched, horrified and aroused, as his friend massaged his dick in front of Steve in the middle of a mission and holy hell, how was this real?

Just then, something clicked into place in Steve’s brain and he suddenly knew exactly what was happening.

“Tony—Tony, listen to me. I think you were drugged,” Steve said, managing to keep the rising panic out of his voice. “We need to get you out of here. JARVIS?”

“I have contacted the Avengers. Miss Romanoff gives an ETA of thirty-three minutes and requests that you stay in your position.”

“No, that’s not… we need to get him out! Come on, Tony!”

Rather than listen to Steve, Tony just kept masturbating, which decidedly was not helping.

“Tony, you have to listen to me!” Steve grabbed Tony by his shoulders.

The moment Steve's hands made contact with Tony's flushed skin, the reaction was instantaneous.

Tony jerked and looked at Steve like a man starved. And Steve had seen a lot of articles and interviews of Tony posing with a smirk and seductive eyes, but the infamous Tony Stark take me to bed look had never been directed at him before.

Yet right now, Tony's pupils were blown wide and his eyes were half-lidded, ogling Steve like he wanted to eat him.

"Steve," Tony breathed, like his name was a revelation. "Oh, god, Steve."

And, Jesus, Steve was strong, stronger than almost anyone else, but for Tony he'd always been weak. He could feel his resolve crumbling by the second under that heated gaze.

But...Tony was compromised. Tony didn't truly want this; he'd never looked at Steve like this when he was in his right mind, and he was only moaning Steve's name because of the drug.

"I, I don’t know what’s happening." Tony swallowed. "But I need to come—god, you don’t understand how much I need to. Please, please make me come, Steve, you have to, I—I can't."

Tony sounded pained and he clutched at Steve’s arm like a lifeline.

Steve's hands were trembling as he tried to hold himself back. Desire thrummed through his body. It had been so long since Steve had felt like this that he briefly wondered if he'd been affected by the pollen too.

But he knew that wasn't true. He felt aroused, yes, and high-strung from worry, but he was still in full control of his body. The serum made him immune to almost anything, probably having burned through the drug in seconds, and everything that Steve felt was simply because of Tony.

Tony made an impatient sound in his throat and squeezed Steve's biceps almost painfully. And that was when Steve made up his mind.

"Okay," Steve said. "Okay, let me take care of you."

He already knew he'd regret this later. But if the alternative was to keep Tony in pain, well, Steve would gladly bear the consequences of his actions.

"Thank you," Tony sighed, sounding genuinely relieved as he let go of the death grip on Steve's arms. "Thank you, thankyouthankyouthankyou."

Steve nodded stiffly and discarded his gloves before reaching for the hem of his uniform.

"You have no idea, fuck, my body, it's just—" Tony kept blabbering. "I've never felt like this, like hnnnnnngh."

The guttural sound Tony made once Steve's shirt came off was enough to make him flush all the way down to his now-exposed chest. Though Steve had aimed to get undressed efficiently and clinically, his stripping appeared to be having an inadvertent side effect—much like Tony's had on him.

Steve carelessly flung the shirt to the side and as soon as he did, there were hands grabbing at his shoulders and a very warm, still very shirtless Tony pressing up against his naked torso.

"Oh my god," Tony said. "Oh my fucking god, we're really doing this, I get to—I really get to touch you."

He sounded awed as he looked down between their shirtless chests, where Steve's bigger torso pressed up against Tony's lithe muscle. And then, Tony's hands were sliding down, and—

Tony squeezed Steve's pecs and Steve bit back a shamefully eager moan.

"Fuck," Tony groaned. He pressed his face against Steve’s neck, panting hot and open-mouthed against the skin. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm, I'm so hard, and you're so—so hot, Jesus, how are you so hot?"

Tony was almost sobbing. His dick pressed against Steve's thigh, indeed hard enough that Steve actually worried Tony was going to come like this.

"Hey, Tony, hey, it’s okay," Steve said, trying to keep his tone soothing. "Let me—let's get you out of that suit, yeah? It looks pretty uncomfortable right now."

Tony's breath shuddered against Steve's neck before he managed a jerky nod. Steve carefully slipped his hands inside Tony's undersuit, still bunched up around his waist, and pulled it down.

"Good—that's good. Ease up a little?" Steve said.

Steve gently loosened Tony's grip on him so he could crouch and help Tony step out of his pants. Tony's cock bobbed hard and red in front of Steve's face and he flushed and quickly sat back on his heels to gauge Tony's situation. 

Tony was already looking at him, trembling like a leaf. He was also naked, and gorgeous and, god, Steve wanted to do so many unspeakable things to him.

So Steve grabbed Tony by the back of his unsteady legs and leaned back, and then they were falling, until Steve's back hit the cold concrete floor and Tony was straddling him.

"What—what just happened.'' Tony blinked, like he hadn't even registered the movement.

"I, uh." Steve swallowed. "Wanted us to get more comfortable."

I've been fantasizing about you on top of me for the last two years, he strategically left out.

"What…oh,'' Tony said, seeming to notice the sight before him: a half-naked Captain America flushed and pliant under him. "Oh, god, Steve, you look…"

Tony didn't finish the sentence, opting instead to grind down against Steve with a filthy moan. Steve bit back any noise of his own, watching as Tony's cock slid hard and slick over his abs.

"You're so hot," Tony said. "Beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, I—mmh, you're so hot, it's not fair."

Tony was panting now, touching Steve all over: palming his abs and biceps, running callused fingers over Steve’s collarbone. Tony's speech was getting more incoherent by the minute, and Steve should probably be more worried about that, about Tony losing whatever wits he still had about him to the drug.

Instead, Steve's cock throbbed in his pants and his heart fluttered happily from Tony's mindless praise.

"You, uh. You too," Steve shot back lamely.

Rather than react to Steve's lackluster compliment, Tony chose to start massaging Steve’s pecs.

“Oh, wow, that—that's, yeah,” Tony said, gently squeezing the muscle and making Steve flush. “Jesus, you’re built like a god. Fuck, they should make…make statues, dedicated to your chest—America's chest.”

Well, that was… Steve wasn't sure how he felt about that idea, but at least Tony was talking more.

“Th….thanks?"

"Mmm," Tony commented, and then pushed his pecs together. 

The simple action made Steve fidget in both embarrassment and arousal. Tony really liked his chest, huh?

“Oh,” Tony made a sound of awe, kneading Steve’s pecs and licking his lips. “Can we—can, can I—”

Tony was already shuffling up, his leaking cock bobbing over Steve's chest and making his intentions known loud and clear.

Oh. Tony really liked Steve's pecs.

"Yeah," Steve heard himself say. "Yes, Tony, god, anything."

He barely got the words out before Tony’s dick slid into the crevice of Steve's pecs, and, oh.

"Shit—fuck, this…" Tony panted. "Christ, Steve, your tits."

Steve swallowed a hot flash of shame and watched Tony set a rhythm thrusting between his pecs. It was filthy, watching the way Tony's cock disappeared between the mounds and then popped up at the top, the head red and leaking.

This was one thing that Steve had never done before, that he never saw the appeal of before now. He’d always thought it’d awkward or at the very least uncomfortable; but Tony was leaking like a faucet, quickly coating the space between his pecs in slick precum and making the slide wet and easy.

“Steve—fuck, Steve,” Tony said, reaching for one of Steve’s hands. “Hold—hold them together, like this, nice and tight, yeah?”

Steve’s ears burned with how red his face must have been. “Like this?”

He grabbed his pecs and squeezed them together around Tony’s cock, just like Tony had done.

And Tony went wild.

“Ah, ahh, oh god,” Tony moaned, sliding his cock between Steve’s pecs with renewed vigor. “Just, just like that, god, that’s a amazing—so, so tight, so good, oh, oh fuck.”

Steve never thought anyone would enjoy this so much. He didn't know he would enjoy this so much, but as he watched Tony’s face go slack with pleasure, felt his slick cock fuck desperately between his pecs, Steve’s neglected erection throbbed in his pants behind Tony’s undulating body. 

It was humiliating, in a way, presenting himself for Tony this way and having Tony shamelessly use him for his own pleasure; but it was a good kind of shame, the kind that made Steve shiver and flush all over.

And then Tony, hands now free to do as he pleased, pinched Steve's nipples and Steve was toast.

“Oh, god,” Tony moaned. “Steve, Steve, your tits—your tits are fucking fantastic. I've always wanted to, to do this to you. You're so sensitive—feels good when I do this, doesn't it?”

Steve moaned and twitched under Tony's hands. Yes, his nipples were sensitive, embarrassingly so, and it had always been a point of insecurity. But Tony didn't seem to mind: his entire being radiated lust, and he was rock hard between Steve's pecs, looking down at Steve like Steve was his entire world—

Tony twisted his nipples hard and that was it. Steve came, a startled yell punching out of him as his hips lifted off the floor and he shot untouched into his combat pants.

Through the blinding pleasure, Steve tried his best to keep his pecs pressed together for Tony, to make it good for him. Dazed from his orgasm, he still kept looking at Tony, at his slick cock and wild eyes.

“Holy shit, you, you came? You came just from your tits, oh, sweetheart, you're so good, so sexy, this is so much better than I ever imagined, I—fuck, Steve—”

Tony came with a loud groan, painting Steve’s chest in messy spurts and landing on his neck and his chin. Steve moaned with him through it even as the finality of the situation started to set in.

This was it. Now it was over, and they only had to wait for the others—

“Fuck,” Tony said. "It's not working."

Steve looked down only to see Tony still hard. Which wasn't unusual for Steve's serum-enhanced body: he could usually go a good three or four times in a row, but…

Tony was only human. Tony was a normal man, at a mature age, and his cock definitely shouldn't stay rock solid after just coming his brains out.

“Why,'' Tony nearly sobbed. “Fuck, I'm so hard it hurts.”

Steve watched Tony's face twist in pain, watched him writhe on top of Steve in clear discomfort, and had a silent battle with himself.

Steve knew he bore full responsibility for the situation. Tony was practically incapacitated, drugged out of his mind, while Steve remained immune and fully conscious of his actions.

It was bad enough that Steve had allowed it to go this far. He should have suggested that Tony settle down and wait for backup to arrive or, worst case scenario, Steve would forcibly carry him out of this place.

But at the same time, Steve wanted. He'd wanted Tony for so very long and now that he had him, however briefly, he didn't know if he was strong enough to resist. Because watching Tony suffer was worse than the pain of any battle wound or asthma attack Steve had ever had to endure. He might not be what Tony wanted, but at this moment, maybe he was what Tony needed.

It was a flimsy excuse, but it made Steve feel a little better when he gripped Tony's thighs and said “fuck me.”

“I did,” Tony whined. “I did, and it was amazing, but I'm still, I need more.”

“No, Tony. Fuck. Me,” Steve said.

Because of the drug, Tony's genius brain was slower than usual to catch up. But when he did, Tony's eyes went wide and he let out a quiet gasp.

“You—you'd let me?" Tony asked breathlessly. "Shit, Steve, are we—you mean you’d really let me…?”

Deciding that actions might get the point across better than words, Steve wordlessly lifted Tony off his lap and shucked off his uniform pants along with his underwear. The reminder of the stickiness in his briefs sent a rush of shame through him, but he gave Tony no such indication.

Without fanfare, Steve turned around on all fours. The concrete floor was still uncomfortable, but better him bear it than Tony.

“Oh god, oh my god,” Tony moaned behind him. 

Callused hands palmed at Steve's ass, spreading his buttocks. Steve didn't know if it was him or Tony that was shaking.

“God, you look so good. So tight."

Tony circled his rim with a finger and Steve jolted, grunting in surprise.

“I cant believe you’d—fuck. Fuck, I’ve wanted this so long, and I wanna make it good for you, but I—I don't have anything, and…”

Yeah, well. Steve knew neither of them had anything to make this easier, but he also knew his body well enough to be sure he'd manage. Besides, Tony was still wet, leaking constantly—it had to be a side effect of the drug—and though it might chafe a little in the beginning, Steve could take it. 

He wanted to take it, for Tony.

“I don't need anything,” Steve said. “Just go for it.”

“Oh, fuck,” Tony moaned, and then he shifted behind Steve, and—

Steve let out a startled yell when he felt a tongue prodding at his hole.

Tony wasted no time, licking at his ass like a man starved, with a loud and filthy moan like this was pleasure for him and not Steve.

Steve bowed his head and tried to suppress his whimpers; he was sensitive all over, and this was no exception. Tony kissed and lapped at his ass, breath ragged and goatee scratching against Steve's perineum, and it felt incredible.

“Oh, oh god,” Tony panted. “Your ass, Steve, I can't—”

Tony made a choked whine and roughly grabbed Steve’s buttcheeks to spread them wide before diving in. He wiggled his tongue into Steve's body, stretching his hole deliciously, and Steve couldn't, how was he supposed to hold on when that was Tony’s tongue inside him—

With a scream, Steve came again, splattering onto the concrete and clenching around Tony's tongue.

Tony worked him through it, licking at him inside and not allowing Steve's clenching body to slow him down. Steve realized that Tony was moaning, a constant sound and vibrations against Steve's clenching rim.

Tony pulled off and was immediately back to running his mouth. “Holy shit, that was hot, so hot, you’re so good, fuck, Steve, I can't… I'm so hard, I, I think I'm actually gonna die if I don’t get to fuck you, please, please let me fuck you.”

Steve glanced over his shoulder. Tony was fisting his own cock; the tip was flushed dark and almost purple, and Tony looked like he was in agony, grimacing while he roughly tugged on his length.

“Put it in,” Steve said. His voice was gruff, like he was giving an order in the field, telling Tony to put on the suit.

And Tony whimpered “thank you, thank you so much” and scrambled to obey, lining himself up with Steve's hole and pushing.

Steve grunted at the pressure against the tense muscle. It was a tight fit, and not an easy ride even with Tony's leaking cock and the spit still clinging to Steve's rim.

But any discomfort Steve might have felt was drowned out by the filthy, unabashed moan Tony let out as soon as the head popped in. His hips immediately stuttered forward, nudging his cock further inside and forcing Steve to take more, feeding his cock into Steve's clenching body.

“Oh fuck, oh, that’s it, you can do it, baby, god, you're taking me so well,” Tony murmured.

And Steve bit his lips to muffle a whine, because it was good—it was perfect. He'd always liked it rough, and like this he could feel everything. But he had to keep his voice down: Tony could never know how much Steve loved being taken like this, how his leader had fantasized about being on his knees and used by Tony.

Tony eventually bottomed out and then he stayed in place, trembling all over. Steve was already back to full hardness, because how could he not be, with Tony around him, inside him, surrounding him everywhere.

“Steve… Steve,” Tony groaned. “You feel amazing, so tight, so fucking tight, and I can't, I want to make it good for you but I can't.”

“Do it,” Steve rasped. “Fuck me. I can take it.”

And that was all it took. Tony pulled out and pushed back in, making Steve gasp and stretching his hole further, forcing his body to adapt. Tony moaned and then did it again, harder this time, setting a punishing pace fucking into Steve's body, the obscene noises of their moans and skin slapping against skin filling the room.

It was better than Steve had ever dreamed. He was so turned on it felt like he was affected by the drug too; shame burned hot on his face but he didn't stop, only braced his arms against the floor and rocked back onto Tony's cock.

Steve came again at some point: not really registering it, other than the pained whimpers Tony made as Steve clenched around his cock. It prompted Tony to grab his hips brutally and pump faster, harder, coaxing Steve's overstimulated body back to arousal.

“You're so good, so amazing, I love you,” Tony said between thrusts. "God, Steve, I love you, you’re perfect.”

Steve flushed and ignored Tony's blabbering: he had to be really out of it to be speaking like that. Though that fact didn't register with Steve’s cock, which was already chubbing back up, half-hard and twitching with the sweet words spilling out of Tony’s mouth.

“God, Tony,” Steve moaned. “Don’t stop.”

“Never, never gonna stop, gonna keep fucking you until I die, you—fuck, Steve, you feel so good,” Tony said.

His cock slammed in and out of Steve’s body, making the concrete crack under Steve’s hands as he dug his fingers into the floor.

And then Tony bowed over him, chest to back. The new angle of thrusts nailed Steve’s prostate and he cried out, loud enough that he’d be embarrassed if it didn’t feel so fucking good.

“Oh, oh, darling,” Tony panted into Steve’s sweaty neck. One of his hands left Steve’s hip, circling around to grab at his cock and making Steve jolt. “One more,” Tony said, tugging on Steve's dick with uncoordinated movements. “Please, sugar, one more. Come on my cock, you clench up so nice, so good for me.”

And Steve was helpless: the words, the assault on his prostate, the hand on his cock, they all blended together into blinding pleasure until he came with another scream.

This time, Tony followed, grabbing Steve’s hips and fucking him hard and deep through the release. Tony spilled into his clenching body, a ragged moan tearing out of his throat while his nails dug into Steve's hips hard enough to break skin.

After it was over, once Tony's thrusts stilled and he slumped over Steve's back, Tony sobbed out one last “thank you” and promptly passed out.

And Steve lied there: sweaty and covered in his own come, with Tony's finally softening dick still inside him and blood pricking at the scratch marks on his hips.

That was when the door slammed open with a crack of thunder and a sob broke free from Steve as he realized what he had just done.

—

The team found them like that: naked and collapsed together in the abandoned room, the evidence of Steve's depravity all over them.

Clint and Thor stopped in the doorway, uncertain how to proceed. Meanwhile, Natasha approached without a word and helped lift Tony's unconscious body away from Steve.

Steve didn't trust himself to speak, so JARVIS took it upon himself to inform the others of Tony's exposure to the unknown substance while Steve shamefully collected the discarded parts of his uniform.

Clint pulled out a mask and volunteered to take a sample of the plant—Steve didn't question why he carried a gas mask in his quiver—while Natasha wrapped Tony in Thor's cape and the god easily carried him out.

Natasha used her override code to get JARVIS to pack up the armor. Because, god, they all had overrides to Tony's tech. Tony had given them codes, because he trusted them with his armor and his life, and Steve had—

"Come on," Natasha said as soon as Steve was dressed. "I can't carry the suit."

Steve nodded stiffly and picked up both his shield and the suitcase-sized cube that the Iron Man armor had morphed into.

–

A strong aphrodisiac.

That was what Bruce, after analyzing the sample, had deduced it to be.

"It's unlike anything I've ever seen," Bruce said. "Like an overdose of Viagra in airborne form. With Tony's medical record, he was lucky to make it out without damage to his heart."

His…his heart? God, Steve could have given Tony a heart attack, with—with what he did.

"So…" Clint broke the heavy silence that had settled over them. "Sex pollen?"

Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose while Natasha smacked Clint upside the head.

And apart from a few sympathetic looks aimed at Steve, nobody brought up what happened in the Hydra base.

—

Steve couldn't bring himself to face Tony.

Upon waking up, Tony had been discharged from medical after only a few hours. The toxin had already cleared itself from his system and his heart—thank god—was unharmed despite the potent drug. Steve's cuts and scrapes had healed before they'd even made it back to the tower, and despite both him and Tony being okay physically…

Steve would never be able to forgive himself.

Tony had asked for consent. Even drugged out of his mind, he had asked Steve before touching him, before getting himself off on Steve's body, and before taking him.

Meanwhile, Steve had just taken advantage.

He didn't know how much Tony remembered. It didn't change the severity of Steve's action, but for Tony's sake, Steve hoped he didn't remember Steve forcing himself on him. Tony had enough bad memories without Steve added to the mix: he'd suffered too much for one lifetime, he'd trusted Steve, and Steve—

And Steve had betrayed him.

Had betrayed him like Stane and Hammer and the rest of those weasels, shown his true colors as soon as Tony's guard was down.

And so Steve hid like a coward: spending all of his free time in the gym or holed up in his room.

—

It was a week before Steve forced himself into action.

He'd heard from the others that Tony had spent much of the past week at the tower, which was unusual. Normally, he'd travel around to different business meetings around the world or at least be busy with countless obligations in New York. 

Any other week, it would have made Steve's day to know that Tony was here in their shared home, but now it felt oppressive. Like Tony was using his presence to remind Steve that he gave him a home and he could just as easily take it away.

That only cemented the fact that Steve didn't deserve to live in the tower. He didn't deserve to be near Tony, and how the team left him unsupervised was beyond him.

Yet, no matter how guilty Steve felt, he couldn't stop thinking about that day.

The serum had always made his libido difficult to manage and Steve couldn't go many days without bringing himself relief. But now it was somehow even worse; his body demanded attention several times a day, like his dick hadn't gotten the memo that not only was what happened between Steve and Tony a one-time-thing, it was also morally despicable.

It wasn't like the shame was new to Steve: on the contrary, he'd known for years that it was wrong to think about Tony when he masturbated, because Tony was his friend and decidedly did not see Steve that way. But now? Steve had a mental movie reel—curse his eidetic memory!—of himself having sex with Tony to resort to. 

And so every day, Steve pleasured himself to the images and memories of himself sexually assaulting his teammate, and it was disgusting.

But he also came faster and harder than he’d ever done before this. He only had to think about the feeling of Tony inside him and the memory of Tony’s goatee scraping against his neck, about Tony pleading one more, Steve, one more, you tighten up so nice around me when you come.

On the seventh such night in a row, Steve looked down at the sticky mess in his hand and knew that this needed to stop.

Steve grit his teeth and set for the workshop.

—

Despite the late hour Steve found Tony in his workshop, tinkering away. 

It was a familiar sight that instantly made Steve feel more at ease. Steve didn't often come down here, but even he noticed the slight disarray in the workshop: some machines had been moved from their usual spots and cardboard boxes had inexplicably appeared around the place. 

But Tony's head was bobbing with the music and he appeared intently focused on his work, which was a good sign.

…Unless Tony hadn't eaten or slept again and was only doing this as a distraction from the pain and betrayal—

Steve forced himself to knock on the glass wall between them before he chickened out.

Tony looked up and as soon as their eyes met, the fake smile Steve recognized from press conferences and SHIELD debriefs plastered itself onto Tony’s face.

“Steve!” Tony's voice carried through the speakers above the door. “To what do I owe the pleasure of Captain America in my humble workshop?”

Steve resolutely ignored the flash of something the word pleasure caused. “We need to talk.”

Tony’s smile appeared even more forced. “Well, come on in then.”

“I think it's best to keep a wall between us,” Steve said, shame hot and unpleasant in his gut. “I don't trust myself around you.”

Tony's face fell, the fake pleasantries replaced by something cold and unreadable.

“J, close off the floor.” And then Tony seemed to catch himself. “No, I mean—only let Steve out. Don't let anyone else in.”

God, Tony really wanted him gone that badly. Steve would try to make this quick, but he needed to apologize properly.

“I'm sorry,” Steve said, his voice breaking. “I know that probably means nothing, but I am so, so sorry. There's no excuse for what I did to you, and I know I need to leave the team. You have every right to press charges—”

“Woah, woah, what, hold up.” Tony raised his hands. “Is… is this some new branch of reverse psychology? Advanced victim blaming?”

Steve frowned. “No. I mean it.”

“Then why the fuck is Captain America standing here and apologizing for me raping him?”

Steve flinched like he’d just been burned. He didn't want to use that word, had shied away from it like a coward, yet that's exactly what had happened.

Except… Tony had it the wrong way around.

“Tony, I… I think you're confused.” Steve said. “It was the—the other way around. I wasn't affected by the drug.”

“Don't lie to me, Steven,” Tony snarled. “Do you think it's gonna make me feel better if you claim you were sober enough to consent?”

Steve floundered for an explanation. Luckily, he had unexpected backup.

“If I may,” JARVIS interrupted. “Sir, like I've stated previously, Captain Rogers was not compromised by the substance.”

“No, no, that's wrong,” Tony waved off. “Calibration error. We were both hit, and it wore off before we got to medical, so it didn't show up in Bruce's tests.”

“But I wasn't,” Steve said. “Tony, you were the compromised one. I retained full bodily autonomy the entire time. The serum makes me immune—you know that.”

“Yeah, right. So you went face down, ass up just for the hell of it?” Tony snarked.

Steve's face flushed hot but he didn't protest. What was he supposed to say? Yes, Tony, and I very much enjoyed getting railed by you while you were drugged?

“Uh,” Tony said into the silence. “Cap. This is the part where you yell at me and say you're not gay, and that I'm a terrible human being who coerced you and who should be locked away, just so I can never hurt anyone again. God knows I've earned it, with my track record.”

The last part was muttered, like it wasn't meant for Steve to hear.

“Tony.” Steve steeled himself. “I think the drug messed with your memories.”

“Oh, no, I remember everything in very vivid detail,” Tony said ruefully.

“Well, I…” Steve cleared his throat and tried not to think about what he had done with his own memories. “What happened a week ago is that you got exposed to a drug that made you aroused. I was immune, so when we… When you propositioned me and we slept together, that was me taking advantage of your state. You couldn't consent.”

Confusion flashed on Tony's face as his brain worked to piece together the information.

“You're not lying,” Tony said. “You've always been shit at lying, and now…it doesn't look like you are. Are you lying?”

“I'm not,” Steve said. “I wouldn't lie about this.”

“Then why?” Tony frowned. “Your teammate gets hit with a sex drug and starts rubbing up on your, and you…let them fuck you? Do you think that's your Captainly duty or something? That if it’s on your watch, you need to help your team like that, because fuck, Steve, somebody needs to teach you about consent if you'd drop your pants for me, or any of us, and—for fuck's sake, it could have been the Hulk!”

“No!” Steve said. “I wouldn't—I didn't, not—not because of duty. I knew exactly what I was doing and who I was doing it with. I was fully in my right mind. You weren't. Which means this is my responsibility.”

Tony tilted his head comically.

“You…you let me fuck you… because you wanted me to fuck you?”

Steve sighed. “Yes.”

“What the fuck,” Tony said, again as to himself. “What the fuck, Steve, you—you even let me fuck your tits!”

Steve flushed but stayed strong. “Yes.”

“And—and when you came four times, that…that wasn't the drug?”

“That was because I liked it.” Steve's face was beet red. “The…the four times, that's… the serum. It's normal.”

Tony stared. And then stared some more.

“You… liked it?” Tony said. “Jesus, Steve, I was terrible! I just chased my own pleasure like some kind of animal. And, and we did it dry, that can’t have been good for you, oh, god, I'm so sorry—”

“You're wrong.” Steve blurted. “I—my body can take a lot. If it wasn't good for me, if you'd hurt me, I could have easily stopped you.”

“But you didn’t,” Tony said, then frowned. “Why didn’t you, again?”

“I told you; I liked it.” Steve cleared his throat. “I liked it so much that…that, after, I've touched myself to the memory of you on me. Around me. In me.”

Steve kind of felt like curling up and dying after that confession. But, finally, Tony didn't seem upset anymore. If anything, he was starting to look more curious.

“You... What?”

“Daily. Several times a day. It's… a problem,” Steve forced the words out. “I came here because...because it's wrong. I thought it would stop if you yelled at me, if you told me just how disgusting I am for betraying your trust.”

“No, no, god, Steve, no,” Tony said. “That's…extremely flattering, actually. I, uh, I mean. Same. I tried not to think about you when I… yeah. But how was I supposed to resist? You're literally my wet dream come true. I'm a bad, bad man and this is no exception.”

“You're not a bad man, Tony,” Steve said. “I'm glad you—I'm glad you have fond memories of what happened. Maybe it helps to deal with it.”

“So…you liked it.” The ghost of a smile flashed over Tony’s lips. “Even the…well, the parts where I had as much finesse as a fourteen year old Tony who jerked off at his Cap poster.”

“I liked it,” Steve said, resolutely ignoring the fluttering of hope in his chest. “All of it. The only thing I would have changed is… well, that you'd have been there, uh, mentally. Other than that I…I, uh, like it rough.”

“You like it rough,” Tony repeated again. “So I…didn't brutally rape a virgin Captain America?”

“None—neither of those.” Steve cleared his throat. “Not the…you didn't force yourself on me, and, uh. Not a virgin. Not for the past seventy years—the, uh, the army's a good place for…experimenting, especially with a new serum-enhanced body.” Steve blushed. “So, I, ah, I've definitely been with fellas before. And when you said Captain America isn't gay…it's not, well, exactly true.”

Tony's mouth was comically slack until he shook himself out of it. “Okay. Okay. I'm going to open the door,” Tony said. “You can leave anytime, but I physically need to open the door, right now, because I can't just watch you stand there and be all—all bashful and reasonable. So, door, okay?”

Steve nodded and JARVIS took the initiative to slide the door open. 

Tony took a hesitant step forward, and that was the cue Steve needed to stride into the workshop.

“You…” Tony stared at him, only a few feet between them. “You're really not mad at me.”

“No, Tony, never,” Steve said, then frowned. “You sure you're okay? This must be disorienting for you. I'm so sorry for what happened—”

“Nope, nuh-uh, no señor,” Tony said. “You don’t get to be sorry. You liked having sex with me? Well then imagine how I felt, getting to live my favorite sex fantasy of thirty years and have the whole thing ramped up to eleven because of sex pollen.”

Steve flushed. “Oh.”

There was a beat of silence, and then Tony groaned dramatically.

“Oh, god." Tony rubbed his forehead. “How am I supposed to live with the fact that I know just how far down that blush goes? Wait, no, sorry, that's inappropriate—fuck, I cant believe that you wanted to have sex with me. What a lapse in judgment, huh?”

Tony was grinning at him, an attempt at deflecting that made Steve frown.

“I've wanted you for a long time,” Steve said. He didn't realize the gravity of the statement until Tony's eyes went wide. “I—I mean. I thought that was obvious, from the way… from how I acted.”

“I'm dreaming,” Tony said. “Or I'm dead and went to heaven. The drug was poison and I died instantly. What else could this be? I’m just surprised I went to heaven, because, really, that’s the only explanation for why someone like you would ever want me.”

“Is it really that hard to believe?” Steve said. “You're…you're important to me. And I don’t like hearing you put yourself down.”

“You're still not lying,” Tony said, amazed. Then he cleared his throat. “Well, I'm glad we got this whole mess cleaned up. Thanks for being so understanding, that… it means a lot, Cap.”

And, just like that, Tony promptly turned back to his work.

“Oh,” Steve said, disappointed. “That's…that's it?”

“Well, yeah?” Tony glanced at him. “We just established we had an enjoyable tumble in the sheets—concrete?—together, and neither of us has to feel guilty about it. And, that? About two hundred and fifty percent better than I ever anticipated this conversation going. So we're good, right?”

Steve stamped down harder on the hope inside him. 

“Right," Steve said.

Tony tilted his head, his expression unreadable. “Unless...?”

Steve swallowed. I'm in love with you, he should say.

“What are the boxes for?” he asked like a coward.

“Oh, those.” Tony chewed on his lip and looked at a half-open box. “Well, I was kind of in the middle of moving out of the tower.”

Steve’s heart felt like it was sinking through the floor below him. “Because of me?”

“Yes—well, no, technically because of myself and how I thought I’d scarred you for life,” Tony said. “I mean, if I really had forced myself on you, I wouldn’t have any right to stay here. To be around you.”

“But…Tony, this is your home.”

“No,” Tony said, his expression firm. “It's all of our home, and if I fucked up, I should be the one to leave.”

Steve was surprised at the determination behind Tony's words. At the same time, he was just glad that he got here in time to stop his plans of leaving.

“But, well, obviously I no longer need to,” Tony said. “Which is amazing, and—and is gonna have a very high risk of making me emotional if I allow myself to think about it, getting to stay here and not having you hate me.” Tony swallowed.

The thought of Tony fearing Steve hating him was somehow even worse than the week Steve had spent thinking Tony never wanted to see him again.

“God, Tony. Never,” Steve said.

“Well, anyway.” Tony cleared his throat. “I was gonna leave you with some of this stuff in case Bruce or the spy kids needed to tinker with something. I was planning to just finish up this project and then be on my merry way, but now I have some bots to unpack and a spare penthouse apartment to gift to Pepper. So, uh. Thanks. For not kicking me out.”

Steve's eyes were misting. Tony would really have picked up his whole life and left his home and his team, his family, because he thought he'd hurt Steve.

“What was the project?” Steve asked, not caring if his voice was a little unsteady.

“Oh, these?” Tony turned around to his workstation. “Just some new tech for the team.”

He grabbed what looked to be some kind of visor. “This is a retractable filter mask,” Tony said. “It slots into a new earpiece and automatically deploys when it detects certain substances.”

Steve nodded, feeling just as awed as he always did when Tony showed off his inventions.

“The other one's an arm strap,” Tony said, pointing at what looked like a simple collar. “It monitors toxins and foreign substances in the blood and sends an alert to JARVIS and the team if someone’s in danger. I'm gonna integrate it with Bruce's lab to automatically synthesize any known antidotes. And it’s recalibrated to account for organic matter and supersoldier serum, but, y’know, maybe don't wear it during one of Thor's mead-drinking contests or you could trigger a false alarm. Because god knows—or maybe they don't, ha—what's in that stuff.”

Steve's heart throbbed with emotion. Tony always looked out for the team, spending days and nights making sure they were safe on the field. How did Tony ever think that the Avengers would kick him out? They needed him; Steve needed him.

But he couldn't say that, could he?

“These are great, Tony,” Steve said, trying to keep the adoration from bleeding into his expression.

“I made them for you,” Tony said, and it felt like Steve had been punched in the gut. “If I was gonna get kicked out, at least I wanted you to be safe. So that nobody could do anything like that to you again, which...yeah, seems kinda like a moot point now.”

The confession had Steve reeling. He could no longer keep the affection from bubbling up and threatening to spill over. 

Tony thought Steve would want him gone, would hate him, and as his last act as an Avenger was to create gadgets that would protect Steve in the future?

“But, hey, they should still prove useful,” Tony said. “And I figured I'd throw in ones for the whole team, too. Since bioweapons might be in our future and—”

“I love you,” Steve blurted out.

“—and I'd really hate for Hydra to get a jump on us again, and.” Tony suddenly paused. “Wait—hold up. What did you just say? Because—because I admit I'm not really known for listening to people, but I could’ve sworn you just said…”

Tony trailed off and Steve swallowed and steeled himself.

“I’m in love with you,” Steve repeated.

Tony blinked. “You really liked that sex, huh? Wow, maybe I should get drugged more often, if it’s enough to actually make people fall in love with me out of the blue. Cupid’s bow, magic dick, what's the difference, right?”

Rejection. Though Steve knew it was coming, it still hurt. And maybe he was digging his own grave, but he needed Tony to know the full truth.

“—I mean, I always wanted a superpower, but come on, how do you brand magic dick in a way that's not a PR nightmare—”

“It wasn't just the sex,” Steve said.

Tony's sentence screeched to a halt.

“I…I've felt this way for a long time,” Steve said. “Way before last week. It wasn’t the sex—even if that, uh, was very nice.”

Steve's face felt too hot. God, he was a mess.

“When I say I want you, I don't mean just your body,” Steve said. “I want—god, Tony, I want all of you. And that's why it was so hard to resist, when you looked at me like you wanted me too.”

“I did,” Tony blurted.

“You…did?” Steve asked.

“What do you mean, you did? Of course I did—do. I do want you.” Then he laughed, somewhat hysterical. “Listen to me, I do, I do, you'd think we were getting married or something.”

Now it was Steve’s turn to be stunned into silence.

“God, this is surreal,” Tony said. “I've literally had my tongue in your ass and now I can barely even say ‘hey, by the way, I like you.’"

Steve flushed but decided not to comment.

“Well, since we're having this heart to heart.” Tony sighed. “And since I don't have control over the shit that leaves my mouth on a good day, much less a drugged-into-extreme-horniness-day, I'm ninety-nine point three percent sure that a week ago I, uh, told you exactly how I feel about you—how I've felt about you for a long time. In very vivid, excruciating detail.”

“I…” Steve swallowed.

You're so good, so amazing, I love you—god, Steve, I love you, his supermemory helpfully provided.

“You wouldn't be the first man to say things he regrets during coitus,” Steve said.

"Well, I'm not claiming I haven't been beating myself up over it for the past week—even if it wasn't my main concern." Tony looked away. "But, I, uh, the things I remember saying? All true. And—and not just about your tight ass—"

Steve made a strangled noise.

"Right, fuck, shit. Inappropriate. Shutting up now," Tony said.

"I, uh." Steve cleared his throat again. "So if you… can… would we… uh."

"Okay, I know I said I'm shutting up," Tony said. "But it would actually really help if at least one of us could string together a coherent sentence. So, I humbly ask that you say what's on your mind, before I end up talking more about my tongue in your ass."

This time, Steve only huffed out a surprised chuckle.

"I was just wondering if I could kiss you," Steve said.

Tony immediately perked up, a grin pulling at his lips. "Oh—oh Cap, Steve, honey pumpkin."

He strode up to Steve, oil-stained hands coming up to rest on Steve's shoulders.

"I completely, one hundred percent understand why you'd feel the need to ask, after—well, after," Tony said. "But let me assure you, that effective immediately, you have my full permission to kiss me whenever you want. Well, maybe not when we're fighting bad guys, because that's gonna leave you open for an attack and we know how I feel about you getting hurt. But any other time, I swear, even in the middle of a board meeting—"

Steve smiled as Tony kept going. But since the genius showed no sign of stopping his rambling, Steve decided to use his newfound kissing rights straight away.

"—And, honestly, fuck anyone who tries to tell me it's inappropriate to make out with you in public. Because, hello, have they hmmgh."

Tony made a surprised noise in the back of his throat when his sentence was interrupted by Steve's mouth on his. But he quickly adapted, wrapping his hands around Steve's neck and returning the kiss with a pleased hum.

And Steve realized that as nice as the sex had been, he'd never actually got to kiss Tony during it. Steve had thought he wasn't allowed, like that would be crossing a line. It would no longer have been just physical, but rather something intimate. Something deliberate.

But now he got to kiss Tony, because this was no longer about just the sex—it had probably never been just about the sex, for either of them. 

Now, there were Tony's soft lips moving against Steve's own, Tony's goatee scratching against Steve's clean shaven chin and a devious tongue barely dipping out to tease at Steve's top lip. And Steve could do nothing but let out a deep, satisfied moan and slant his mouth, melting into the kiss.

"We're doing this?" Tony asked when they pulled apart for air. "The—the kiss kiss hold hands go on dates and yell at Tony for buying strawberries again? Or, well, you're probably not allergic to anything, which is a definite plus, because I can't accidentally kill you with gifts. Unless a giant plushie falls on you, but you're probably strong enough to handle that."

Steve took a moment to reorient himself. His mind was still reeling from the confession and the kiss, but it would figure that Tony's had already moved a lightyear ahead.

"I don't know about the berries and plushies," Steve said, "but I do know I wanna ration you."

"Ration?" Tony was grinning. "Oh my god, that's incredible. Haven't heard that one in—well, ever, and honestly I'm not fluent enough in forties slang to be completely sure it means what I think it does—"

Steve kissed him again, because it both got Tony to stop talking and because kissing Tony was thoroughly enjoyable. And Tony did say he had permission.

"It means I want you to be mine," Steve murmured.

"Well, then, I am very on board with that plan." Tony smirked. "And it just so happens that I'd also be very on board with taking a break from work and moving this to the couch. Maybe put the shop in blackout and be a completely mature adult and make out with my new boyfriend for half an hour."

Steve chuckled and steered them towards the couch. "That's a very specific thing to be on board with."

"What can I say?" Tony winked and pulled Steve down to sit beside him. "I'm a futurist."

Steve smiled and leaned in for another taste of Tony's lips. Unfortunately, he barely had time for a quick peck before Tony was talking again.

"For the record, I'm also on board with absolutely anything that happens on this couch or maybe even against one of these lovely workbenches," Tony said. "I mean, after the tongue in ass action there's really not much to be modest about—"

"You really do love bringing that up."

"Absolute highlight of my life, will never shut up about it." Tony grinned. "But, anyway, I just needed to say, when—when, if, hopefully?—we end up sleeping together again… I'm usually a much, much better lay than what you saw the other week."

Steve laughed. "I thought you did just fine."

"Oh, just you wait." Tony was smirking now, a mischievous look in his eyes. "Wait until you see me with actual brain capacity that's not just 'ooga booga put cock in Steve.' I—well, I'm not gonna be able to repeat the party trick of multiple orgasms, but, I'm gonna make sure you get yours. Not to brag, but I haven't had any complaints in that department before."

Steve smiled and placed a comforting hand on Tony's thigh. "I know you'll be amazing. No strange flowers or questionable Hydra experiments needed."

"Speaking of…" Tony said. "Do you think Bruce still has some of that pollen? Asking for a friend."

"Tony."

"Okay, fine," Tony sighed, his head slumping down on Steve's shoulder. "No performance enhancing sex drugs."

Steve nuzzled closer to murmur in Tony's ear. "I don't need an aphrodisiac to make you come harder than you have in your entire life."

It caused Steve no small amount of pleasure to see Tony flounder and honest to god blush. And then, Steve was taking advantage of Tony's slack mouth to finally kiss him again.

And once Tony collected his wits, callused hands pushing Steve down to lay on the couch while Tony climbed on top of him, Steve only smiled against warm lips and revelled in the pleasant feeling of déjà vu.

Because Steve already knew that this time—and all the other ones that followed—would be even better than the last.

[slootpoot]

Longhorn - Chapter Six

06 | Dust and Mildew Longhorn Masterlist

The room is dark and it reeks of dust and mildew. Dean is tied to a post, a sheet laid over him like a corpse. He shakes it off and blinks to adjust to the lack of light. 

“Dean?” 

“Y/N, please, God, tell me that’s you.” 

“Dean…” 

Dean immediately gets a strong sense of dread. “Y/N? Y/N, what the hell happened.” 

“He caught me,” you whisper. A sob cracks through the air. “In the alley. Stabbed me in the side, then knocked me out with a - a brick, I think.” 

“Stabbed?” he grunts, yanking at the knots. The shapeshifter was not in Boy Scouts, that’s for sure. The rope falls to the base of the beam easily. “Fuck, okay, I’m coming.” 

He scrambles in the dark to make his way to you. He finds your hands tied above your head, trapping you against a beam and the pipe you’re tied to. Blood stains your white shirt and jeans, and your hair is a knotted mess on your head. A trickle of blood travels from your temple. It’s dry, dark red and crusted onto your skin. 

“Jesus Christ.” He presses his hand against your side and you twist away, yelping. “Sorry, I’m sorry.” 

“Oddly enough,” you choke out. “Being shot feels a lot better than being stabbed.” 

He chuckles before running back to grab the sheet that previously covered him, ripping at the threads to create a makeshift gauze. 

“Damn it.”

The voice comes from farther back in the room. “Sam?” you call out. “Don’t tell me you’re that abomination.” 

Dean’s busy with your bindings when Sam answers. “Yeah, it’s me.” 

“Well,” Dean grunts, ripping the last piece of the sheet before knotting it at your side. You wince again as he starts unbinding you. “He’s not entirely stupid. He picked the hot ones.” 

He throws you a wink when you’re finally released, his hands rubbing at your shoulders to relieve the ache in your joints. 

The two of you make your way to Sam just as he releases his own rope. “He looked like you, man,” he tells Dean. “And he didn’t just look like you. He was you. Or, at least, becoming you.”

“What?” 

“He’s right,” you say, hand pressed against your side. “He looked like you when he got me. The only reason I knew it wasn’t was because, well, you stabbed me. Or - he stabbed me. It?” 

“It’s like he was downloading your thoughts and memories,” Sam says. 

“Like a weird fugly goop-leaving brain hacker,” you quip. 

“He’s going to Rebecca’s. We’ve got to hurry, he’s probably already there.”

You find a window and Dean helps you climb out of it, grabbing you under the arm and lifting you out. 

“Come on,” Sam says once you’re all out onto the street. “We gotta find a phone, call the police.” 

“Woah, woah, woah.” Dean stops walking, staring at his brother. “You’re gonna put an APB on me.” 

Sam merely shrugs. “Sorry.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Whatever. This way.” 

He grabs your arm, tucking it underneath his to help you walk. You’re pale, skin glistening in sweat. They’ve got to hurry this case up - the scene of you limping, wincing every step and your blood-stained hand pushing against your wound makes his neck tight. 

Walking past a TV store, you stop at the window. Dean has to stop with you, but Sam barely notices and keeps walking. “Sam,” you whisper. A reporter is on screen, speaking animatedly into a microphone. 

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in Central West End, where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.” 

A rough, grainy sketch of Dean appears on-screen. “Man!” he whines, stomping his foot childishly. “That’s not even a good picture.”

“Good enough.” Sam looks around the street, paranoid, and keeps walking. He gives you and Dean no choice but to follow. “They said attempted murder. At least we know that -” 

“I - he didn’t kill her.” 

Sam nods. “I’ll check in with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right.” 

“Fine by me,” Dean says. “But first, I wanna find that handsome devil and beat his ass.” 

“We have no weapons, Dean,” you say. “No silver bullets. Nothing. The freak even took my belt.” 

Dean loved that belt. The big ass longhorn buckle’s horns double as a silver knife. Plus, he liked watching the buckle sway as you walked. 

But that’s neither here nor there. 

“Listen, Y/N. The guy’s walking around with my face, okay? It’s a little personal. I’m attached to my face. I want to find this guy.” 

“Where the hell do we look?” Sam asks. 

“The sewers?” you suggest. Even the idea of it makes your nose curl in disgust. Dean doesn’t know how to feel about you joining along, especially with the way you’re looking. But he knows better than to say anything - injured or not, you’d whoop his ass for trying to tell you what to do. 

“We still need weapons,” Sam says. 

“I’m betting money he took the car,” Dean answers. “Drove it to Rebecca’s.” 

“News says he fled on foot. It’s probably still parked there.” 

Dean frowns. “The thought of him drivin’ my car,” he grumbles. 

You sigh heavily and Sam rolls his eyes, mumbling, “All right, come on.” 

“It’s killin’ me.” 

“Let it go, Dean.”

Chapter Seven

[ontheticktick]

Starter for @wormholxtreme [Tony]

M.O.D.O.K had to be the MOST INSUFFERABLE boss that Wade had ever pretended to work for, and that was saying a lot after the Merc's stints at the HQs for Tesla and Amazon. The second Bill Gates actually decided to sack up and take out the two dumber dickheads though, he didn't want to just do the dirty work for FREE. Besides, Elon worked wonders on his own existence as a loser, and Bezos would probably end up on the moon within the decade.

It was probably also the LONGEST he'd had to play the part of the mindless henchmen with absolutely no ambition or intention of progressing up the corporate ladder. He was ready to take the step he couldn't with Elon, with fucking MO-DICK.

He played the part of the fool well, at the very least. The floating easy-bake chibi of a man didn't suspect a thing from the Merc with the Mouth. Wade DID miss his red suit, though. This fugly yellow bargain-bin Among Us bullshit was just...tacky. It didn't compliment his shape at all. So frustrating.

It was finally going to be his last day there, though. Wade had been able to incompetence his way right into the office that he had been hunting down, knowing that if he claimed to have been looking for the crapper, these idiots would believe him and have him carrying on with his day. The COURT JESTER did tend to get more leeway.

He tapped his fingers on the desk impatiently as he waited for the stupid flashdrive to grab all of the files that he needed. Either he'd sell it to the highest bidder...or he'd turn it over to the Avengers and ask for dinner with Captain America as payment. Win-Win.

"Jesus fucking Judas in the SAND!" he raged quietly. "Is this computer a goddamn COMMODORE 64? Come on, this place is worse than bussing at TGI Fridays, I wanna go home, motherFUCKER..." By this point, he was at a stage whisper, hopping in place with further impatience.

Unbeknownst to him though, there was a man with a plan on the way...and he wasn't STAR-SPANGLED. No matter how much Wade would have preferred that.

[chameleon-on-lsd]

Polizeiruf 110 (Abgrund) liveblogging

the jazzy theme tune kills me mh cool, terrifying jeSUS CHRIST aw vincent. what a fugly sweater vest und adam so frisch wie immer ne askdljaslkdasj they're so salty 'das warn witz, mann' 'ich lach ja auch, innerlich' lmao adam's reaction to the coat aww vincent holding the ring wie adam einfach allein rumstolpert yes adam, clearly a man that is okay lmao the coffee scene just for shits and giggles ((wolle ;-; he doesn't seem great aynmore ;-;)) lol adam fascinated by machinery they're so bitchy lmao ....that old lady looks like Lida Tellmann xD do all grannys look alike to me?? HA it IS the same actress lmao adam, panic flirts with a waitress fidgeting!vincent is back 'oder ne sadistin' lmao yaaay, staying in the Pampa :) damn snape looking motherfucker xD und ja voll gedacht das ist adam der nen random hund gassi führt zimmer mit doppelbett?? xD ach Lida from another timeline xD I cannot unsee it mh ja das geile 80iger holzfurnier ne leichte lektüre für vincent du ziehst die kette ab??? küsschen geben kannst der auch wenn sie anhast mh sleep paralysis teddy scare god adam you're so fucked up (I wanted to watch the first Raczek case but couldn't find it quickly) adam, can ya stop fucking almost moaning (aka hyperventilating) aww ewa looks super sweet tho like a great mom ja ne is klar, n spanner halt daMN girl (lach leicht weil 'Ross?' halt einfach so klingt als wär er überrascht übern pferd) grabstein mit Graboswki drauf. find ich lustig lmao adam acting nice 'ne ne wir fragen nur :)' xD die beiden brüder klingen aber auch SO fake xDD lmao wiktors gefälliges lächeln als er was beim sicherheitsvideo entdeckt vincent's locken sind so schön die streifenwagen und uniformen sind halt geil yikes, teddy camera is very weird awww Lida lady :( No I will not learn her actual name in this. I'm bad enough with names vincent. das outfit ist halt schon etwas hässlich he's very aggressive in this interrogation aösdmlasmdlmladsö die super herablassende aussage zu adam in baby stimme xD einfach mal die computermaus wegpfeffern xD ja adam, bau halt weniger scheiss der typ wird das jetzt so ausbaden müssen xD ..ich dacht grad er hat sich den kompletten oberkörper frei gemacht xDD ne schöne kuppel in der kirche stop slAPPING THE DUDE xD does this count as police brutality lmao war der snape typ der pfarrer? oder nachmal wer? sdlkasjd wiktor bby Kurwa still kills me, sorry lmao der klopfer ans herz vom leiter ja okay ich versteh adam, schon ne krasse maschine xD (war beim ersten mal etwas abgelenkt mit malen) sadsakjljda happy adam is cute ja schön im düsteren wald rumstolpern, geil SPATEN!!!!! xD eine ode an spatort diese episode lmao <33333333 bby boy mh bett und video kamera, toll lmao und ich dacht grad er liest anstatt Lisa, Lida xD aww noo poor shop mom wie sich vincent einfach selber n bier zieht xDD bedien dich, ne aber gut gemacht. hätt ich ihm nicht gegeben xD 'darauf dass du noch lebst' :3 aldkslkad S O F T BOYS aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh er is alte schule, drink to forget <3 gehst du jetzt ewa nerven vincent würd dir doch gern helfen 'also ich würd das merken als ehefrau' ARE YOU SURE. god all these red herrings xD dawwwwww little spoon adam nice tattoo brudi die oma killt mich so ;-; HE SLEPT :D aw süsse blümchen am tisch lmao wie frau franke ihn ignoriert 'sie sollte eigentlich schon wieder hier sein ' noooo ewi bby poor adam hat er grad holy shit gesagt? xD pedo!vicar what a surprise adam, don't get whacked over the head again please die frau hat einfach no chill xD DAMN that dude is tall like she wasn't that short right? was is das fürn random vorhang im haus?? simon is deeeaaaaaad ejlkadksajdl vincent am rumbrüllen didn't expect hanging tbf adam bby sldksdlöaköd vincent 'das warn unfall' so kann mans auch nennen

“wir reden nur” xDD kann man auch so nennen oh it was one of the terror brothers war klar dass er zuerst noch zu ihr kommt. war nicht genug terror vincent bby warum allein yeah wait does vincent carry a gun? I don’t think so? but.. why? does that come with Hauptkommisar privilige? oder ist der holster einfach immer unter einer der tausend jacken die er trägt (cries about headcanon of vincent talking to adam schürk about abuse) aalso JESUS there’s a lot of suicide this episode. almost feels like home (aka tatort zürich :) ) mhh splat adam is such a wreck ;-; AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DIE UMARMUNG cries a lot ich wär halt auch einfach so besorgt um adam in dem moment….. dass vincent ihn überhaupt gehen lässt fidgeting vincent ;-; er bringt sich nicht echt auch noch um oder yikes (auch ne selten hässliche tapete in dem zimmer) …… ja wenigstens hat er sich nicht erschossen wa DAS WAR DAS ENDE ALTER???? das ist richtig fies

[local-homosexual]

haha vent post because i feel like crap at midnight

feeling shitty about my friends just not caring at all when i vent to them even though i always listen to them and i always support them and im always making sure everyone else can say what they want to say

why does nobody do that for me in that group

i feel like i only have one friend who even wants to listen to me

"Oh, why do you feel bad about yourself?" because of you. because of rosa. because of marin. because of izzy. because of tom. because of everything

i dont think they even mean to make me feel bad usually

i think they care but they never do

rosa and marin probably think they do care but at the same time rosa never cares to listen or understand and marin never cares to accept other perspectives or to be fucking self aware

marin knows what shes doing sometimes

rosa doesnt

but it doesnt make it any better or worse in the end because i still feel like shit

im not even friends with tom but at least hes honest about liking ryan more

that was a year ago why am i still mad

i shouldnt still be mad

everyone knew they were better. he was just the only one bold to say anything

fuck him honestly, i may feel like shit about myself but at least i have the decency to not say shit like that to peoples face every day like its nothing

but i still shouldnt still be mad now because its been a year or so and i havent even seen marin in months but i dont want to get over it

im why people say to toughen up but im also why that doesnt fucking work

im only here typing because i realized trying oversexualizing myself again doesnt work and it doesnt make me happy and no one cares either way

if i was prettier then people would probably care more

not as an "oh im fugly" thing (which im not, fuck you id like to think im gay hot shit) but as a "oh, society favors people that look like people you would use as a faceclaim for your ocs/instagram level hot"

thats dumb shit even i listen to someone who wants to vent to me even if i dont like them

fuck my friends honestly

but like. just some. most, honestly though

jesus christ whats wrong with me

probably a lot okay im feeling less than fine but good enough now

why am i friends with these people when most of them dont care to do the bare minimum of look at me when im trying to talk

that one quote of "I would rather adjust my life to your absence, than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect" is kind of how i feel rn but a lot less confrontational and a lot more wtf why and wtf why do you make me feel like a piece of shit for expressing myself in any manner like a functioning human being

hey endless void how the fuck do i get my friends to be better and why do i feel bad for realizing "hey, my friends are kind of bitches(and also friends dont choke eachother)(wtf marin)"

this is like my little rocky cave in a pretty little jar where i get to shout what the fuckity frick at squishmellows because real people are scary

[darthlenaplant]

Watching Spectre right now.

Jesus Christ on a disco stick, I absolutely can't take Max seriously. That's just a Moriaty. (No, I never watched BBC Sherlock, I only saw hbomberguy's video essay. It told me all I needed to know.)

Also, poor Q. Your taste in men is... uh...

ALSO also, Bond's "No. Stay." Actually STALLING the fucking security has cracking me up.

Also also ALSO. Q. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU OPEN A LAPTOP ON A FUCKING SKILIFT? I KNOW YOU ARE NOT AN OPERATIVE IN THE FIELD BUT JESUS CHRIST, TRYING TO BLEND IN IS NOT THAT COMPLICATED. (I kinda would have liked them leaving the kidnapping him scene like in the original script, if only to keep it consistent?)

Also, the bald dude opposite of him lost his hat quite quickly. LMAO

And of course.

THE FUCKING MOUSE. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I hope this Moriaty dude gets killed by Bond (or any other double-0) later. M should have just decked him right there.

Can I also say something. The lipstick colour on Madeleine looks fucking stupid af on her. Srsly. Why does she look so weird? Is that just the combination of her dress and lighting in that train car?

Also, yeah, the "~LoVe~" between her and James is LITERALLY "just because the director said so". It's exactly as fake and put-on as that stupid fugly lipstick.

Hahahahaha, Madeleine's face when Bond says that thing about Q. She be like "he can't be gay if he fucks women left and right, but I guess a bisexual just fucks people of any gender left and right?"

And yes, they should have just let them say good-bye to eachother forever at that point. Honestly. Let that woman live in peace.

Lol @ the James Bond graffiti.

LMAO. I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE EXPECTED M TO SAY "CUNT" THERE, NGL 😂😂😂😂😂

Okay, Bond getting the girl is okay too. In the movie.

The fics where he goes back to Q for good are still better. 😋😋😋😋😋

No srsly. It would have been a way funnier (and cooler) if it was Q sitting next to him. Well.

[sukifans]

aahhh I’m so excited I love your writing!!! your sokka “help me” fic is one of my favs ever I seriously think about it at least twice a week. in a similar vein, would you be able to combine prompts 10 & 12 for sokka x fem!reader? thank you!!! :)

SOKKA + “can i try that new chapstick? i wanna have a taste” + “i hadn’t noticed but my sweet, funny, goofy best friend is kind of hot, especially since they’ve been on this fitness kick”

⇦ 𝘔𝘈𝘚𝘛𝘌𝘙𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛

“nastiest skank bitches” Group Message

loml: ladies, i need a girls night

loml: desperately

babygorl: god i’m down, this semester blows

fugly slut <3: i’m in!! always here for a girls night 🥰

loml: y/n??

you: gals. pals. as much as i would love to...

fugly slut <3: ughhhhhhhhh

babygorl: you better not be blowing us off for sokka again istg

you: 😅

loml: TRAITOR BITCH

fugly slut <3: HOES BEFORE BROS

babygorl: WHORE

you: bruh.mp3

you: he’s coming by after the gym to help me with my physics homework!!! I NEED THE HELP PLS I PROMISE ILL BE THERE NEXT TIME

babygorl: lying is a sin y/n

babygorl: sinner

loml: if sokka’s gonna b there maybe she’ll be sinning in........ other ways...... ahaha

loml: fuckboy_emoji.jpg

fugly slut <3: when you gonna tap that fr

you: NEVER LITERALLY NO EW

you: HE’S MY BEST FRIEND

you: UNLIKE YOU RATS

fugly slut <3: he do b kinda yummy tho liiiike 👀

you: STOP

loml: yeah he’s hot sorry queen

you: HE’S NOT HOT

babygorl: i almost hate to admit it but...

babygorl: his biceps 🥴

fugly slut <3 emphasized “his biceps 🥴”

loml loved “his biceps 🥴”

you: hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!

fugly slut <3 disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

babygorl disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

loml disliked “hey! i hate u guys! jsyk!”

babygorl: uh huh yeah sure

loml: yall hear sumn?

NEW MESSAGE from sokka :^)

“hey i’m omw up!”

you: whatever you guys suck

you: i gtg

fugly slut <3: AND YOU SWALLOW

babygorl: bye girly!! get that bestie dick!!

loml: save a car, ride an engineering major >:)

you: desgostang.jpg

You dropped your phone onto the bed next to you with a groan. Your friends really and truly could be such freaks about your relationship with Sokka—or lack thereof. They’d been especially adament ever since he started some stupid bet with Zuko about who could get the most “gains” by graduation, incited by Aang making the mistake of commenting on Zuko’s more pronounced muscle mass.

Idiots.

That’s what Sokka was. Your idiotic best friend, who was funny, and sweet, and intelligent. You loved him, of course, but not like that. And he was not hot.

Definitely not.

The pounding on your dorm door interrupted your musings before Sokka let himself in, dropping his gym bag on the floor and kicking off his slides. His hair was loose and still damp from his post-workout shower and he wore slim joggers with a loose muscle tee.

“Hey!” He smiled brightly when he spotted you sitting in your bed. “What’s up?”

“The usual.” You moved your legs out of the way so he could flop down onto your mattress. “How was the gym?”

Sokka groaned. “Cardio. I’m already sore.” He stretched his arms up to fold behind his head, pulling his muscles taut.

Hm. He does kind of have nice biceps...

You shook yourself internally. Thoughts like these had been creeping out of your subconscious for weeks now, no thanks to your rabid friends.

“My leg’s been killing me, though,” he continued, rubbing his opposite foot across the skin that covered that metal pins and plates holding his bones together after a nasty break in high school. The leg often still gave him problems, ranging from the dull ache he could ignore on the day-to-day, to throbbing pain that left him limping.

You frowned, looking away from his arms to meet his eyes. “You should probably rest up before you hurt yourself,” you said.

“I’ll be fine.” He shrugged and propped himself up on his elbows. “Gotta catch up to Zuko, y’know.”

“Why? You’re already taller than him.”

“So? I wanna be more yolked, too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Buncha dumbasses.”

Sokka quirked an eyebrow. “You want this dumbass to help with your physics homework or not?”

“Haha,” you chuckled nervously, “just kidding, buddy! I meant Zuko and Aang. You—definitely not a dumbass. Nope.”

“That’s what I thought.” He shot you a smug look as he pushed up to sit cross-legged across from you on the bed. He held his hand out with a dramatic, world-weary sigh. “Alright, give it here.”

You opened your laptop to pull up the website that hosted your homework practice problems. “You know I love you, right?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, grabbing a notebook and pen from your desk to work out the math as you handed over the computer. He paused before standing to retrieve his bag, plopping it on your desk chair so he could root through it and pull out his glasses case. You felt your cheeks warm a little when he set the frames on the bridge of his nose.

Fine—he was kinda cute. You could concede that without having to dig too deep into your somewhat jumbled feelings for your best friend.

But you would certainly not “tap that.”

Well...

No. You would not.

You watched his eyes flick over the screen as he tapped the pen against his chin, catching the cap between his teeth while he thought about the formulas he’d learned in a past semester. He nodded to himself and started scribbling out a diagram and the math to go with it. You found yourself a little mesmerized by the way he simply just knew what to do, confidently scratching away at the paper as easily as one might write the alphabet. Your eyes trailed from his long fingers and calloused hand sweeping over the page, up his toned arm (lingering on his bicep a little longer), and to his face. He chewed at the inside of his cheek in concentration, sometimes parting his lips to murmur the logic to himself.

For someone who often said a lot of stupid shit, he sure had a pretty mouth.

You considered what he might do if you snatched a fistful of his shirt and yanked him into a kiss. Would he shove you away and leave? Awkwardly but kindly reject you? Or, would he kiss you back—throw the work out of the way and grab your face to coax you in deeper? Maybe push you back onto the bed and—

“Okay, so basically—”

Jesus Christ, get a fucking grip.

“—from the problem and draw it out like this to apply the formula, yeah?”

Sokka looked to you expectantly and you blinked at him as your face burned. “Sorry, I zoned out. What did you say?”

“C’mon, I know you hate physics but you gotta at least pay attention to me if you wanna pass,” he teased, shifting close enough that the sides of your bodies pressed together. Was it getting warmer in your room, or was it just your best friend?

He launched into the explanation again and you nodded along while internally willing the blood to leave your cheeks. Even as your thoughts ricocheted around inside your skull he managed to break it down in a way that somewhat made sense. He sat back and watched as you slowly worked through the next problem. You glanced up when you heard a soft pop to see him applying chapstick.

“Is that a new flavor?” you asked.

“Yeah, chocolate orange or something.” He held the tube out to you. “Wanna try?”

Fuck it.

Before your rationality could catch up you pressed a hand to his cheek to turn his head and pulled him in for a kiss. Your lips only slotted together for a brief moment before you pulled back to stare wide-eyed at each other. You could feel the fire creeping from your cheeks down your neck, mirrored in the reddening of his tanned skin.

He blinked. You blinked.

The chapstick slipped from between his fingers. Rationality arrived late.

You bolted.

“Uh, see ya later!” you shouted as you threw the door open and rushed out of the room.

“Wait, (Y/N)—“

You didn’t stick around to hear the end of his desperate call. Even thought it was your dorm and you were barefoot you still raced down the hall, wincing at the sound of a door slamming behind you.

“(Y/N)!”

Damn that lanky bastard. You were booking it and he was already hot on your heels. You barreled into the door leading to the stairwell and almost made it down the first step when he grabbed you around the waist and yanked you back. Despite your struggles, the arm hooked across your middle was unyielding until he pushed you into the corner and crowded you against the wall, hands caging you in from either side. Your heart was racing and you weren’t sure if it was because of your escape attempt or that he was close enough you could smell his body wash and deodorant. It was almost enough to make your head spin.

“Sokka, I-I don’t know why—I’m sorry, please, I shouldn’t’ve—“

“(Y/N),” he said firmly and your mouth snapped shut. “Why did you run away?”

“Uh, I—well, um...” You shrunk down against the wall and swallowed hard. “I-I don’t know.”

“You didn’t even give me a chance to respond.”

“Look—“ You paused and stared at him once you processed what he said. “What?”

He laughed, dropping one of his hands to brush against your cheek before threading into your hair to cup the base of your skull. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

With that he surged forwards and kissed you enthusiastically, making you gasp into his mouth. You balled your hands into the front of his shirt to keep yourself steady as you melted into him. His free hand pressed into your lower back to bring you in closer. His tongue slipped out to tease at your bottom lip and he chuckled when you had to quickly grab his shoulders as your knees almost buckled.

“Get that,” he murmured against your lips, pressing his forehead to yours as the two of you gasped for air.

“Oh,” you breathed, “that.” You hummed happily when he kissed you again, his stubble scratching against your chin and under your palms when you cupped his face.

You both looked up when a stairwell door somewhere above you slammed open, followed by a group of jostling male voices. Sokka grinned when you glanced at him with wide eyes and shiny, swollen lips. You tried to hide behind him as the clamor bounded closer and closer. The group of guys rounded the next flight and gave shouts of recognition upon seeing you two standing against the wall.

“Sokka!”

“Hey, man!”

“Hey, guys,” Sokka said, holding his hand up in greeting.

“What’s up?”

“Oh, is that (Y/N)?”

“Nice, dude!”

“Ah, yeah...” He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and you raised an eyebrow at his turned head. They all cheered and congratulated him, slapping his back as they passed and disappeared down the next set of stairs. When Sokka met your eyes again you cocked your head.

“Who were they?” you asked.

“Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“Sokka.”

“My reputation precedes me, what can I say?”

“Mine doesn’t.”

“Well—“ he suddenly became very interested in the underside of the stairs above you “—my reputation may or may not involve talking about you. A lot, apparently.”

“Huh?”

“I don’t do it on purpose!” he interjected quickly, taking your hands in his. “It’s just—I dunno, I guess I think about you a lot, so...”

“Oh.”

“Fuck, okay, that sounded weird.” You laughed a little at his embarrassed floundering. “I just mean, like, things that remind me of you or, y’know, stories that involve you...” he trailed off, flushing at your amused smile. “Stop it!”

“Stop what?”

“Making fun of me!”

“I didn’t say anything,” you giggled, hooking your arms around his neck.

“You’re still laughing at me,” he whined, lips turning into a frown. His hands slipped back down to your waist.

“You’re cute.”

He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Without preamble, he ducked down and hoisted you over his shoulder as you shrieked in protest. “Sokka! Put me down!”

“No can do, baby; we have unfinished business to attend to.” He said as he marched you back in the direction of your room.

“You’re gonna finish my physics homework?”

“Nope.”

Oh.

A/N: 2k words bc, again, i have no self control. thank you for the request!

ATLA TAGS: @hotgirlazula @octophopi @blazedbakugou @protect-remus @akiris @sunflowerazula @wooscottoncandyhair @chewymoustachio @ohno-caroline @sunflowerr-mami @1vitamin @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @u-4iia @nymeria-targaryen @tommy-braccoli @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @a-sloppy-bitch @nomin-rights @siriuslyslyslytherin @starryncn

SOKKA TAGS: @fiantomartell @avatarayeaye @zvkta @sher-lockedmarvel @grandmascottlang @captainshazamerica @yuesallura