#just cant help but make old men suffer

[pachimation]

“vacuum” a 36p comic i make this past summer about zhongli during venti’s absence following the cataclysm

pixiv ver here —>

pt 1/4

[leclercstarrs]

reunion, glenn rhee.

summary: in which you get separated from your boyfriend and the rest of the group after the prison’s destroyed!

warnings: typical twd violence but mentions/implied threats of sa and violence so please be cautious my loves! also not yet proof read!

notes: i said this in the warnings but please don’t read this if you think these topics could trigger you. there’s no descriptions of these topics but these things are implied by the group of men daryl briefly joins on his way to trminus. this was requested by anon so i hope it finds you and hope you like it!

You’re currently walking down a path of old and rusty train tracks, having no clue where exactly you are, just that the prison isn’t safe anymore. The governor made his return, destroying the prison and leaving the group with no choice but to flee, resulting in everyone getting separated. You, unfortunately, are alone. No one else went the way you went and now you’ve lost Glenn. He’s your only motivation to keep going, hoping you’ll eventually cross paths with him. However, for all you know, he could be dead, the governor or walkers getting at him. You don’t want to think about that possibility though.

It’s late, the stars being the only form of light, your feet now dragging along the tracks, kicking rocks as you step forward. “Please end my suffering.” You whisper to no one but yourself, rolling your eyes and stopping suddenly when you notice an abandoned factory of some sort next to the train tracks. You think for a moment, realizing it’s best to take a break before you push yourself too hard. Letting out a sigh and wiping some sweat off your forehead, you walk off of the tracks, stepping onto the grass and heading towards the old building that’s surrounded by other, more rundown, ones.

Your first instinct when you reach the building is to knock on the door and some of the windows surrounding it, checking for walkers.

Nothing. Sounds clear.

You knock again, just to be sure.

Again, nothing.

You slowly turn the door handle, expecting to be greeted with an empty place. “Hiya.” A tall man with grey hair, accompanied by a grey beard, is standing right in the doorway, a sinister smile on his face. You quickly move your gun in front of him. “I wouldn’t do that.” Another, skinnier man, appears beside him with that same smile. Then, you notice someone behind them. Daryl. “Daryl?” You gasp, lowering your gun. “Ya know this girl?” The grey haired man turns around for a second. “(Y/N!)” Daryl gasps, ready to push through the men and hug you. “Mm, stop.” The man presses a hand onto to Daryl’s chest, stopping him, while the other young man roughly grabs your arm.

“What the fuck? Get off of me!” You huff, trying to get out of the man’s rough grip. “Cant do that, missy.” His tone is condescending, making it even more terrifying as two more guys join the group. One of them is balding, and if it’s possible, even creepier looking than the other’s. The other one looks greasy, his long and thin hair reaching past his shoulders, his clothes torn and ripped. Then, you notice Daryl again. He’s being held back by two of the other guys, a pissed off look on his face as he struggles to get free and help you, his crossbow no where in sight. “Fuck off!” You spit in the younger man’s face, the grey haired man laughing at you. “Feisty, huh?” He pushes the guy off you and now he’s holding onto you, touching your hair, “Do you know what we’re going to do to you? You see, a certain someone came by and killed one of my men, which I don’t take lightly, so, we need some payback.” He sighs.

“Payback? I didn’t touch your man, I’ve been alone this entire time, Daryl and I were separated!” You scoff. If it wasn’t for the fact that you’re in certain danger, you would laugh at this group’s stupidity. “That don’t matter now, pretty girl.” The balding man chuckles, baring his gross teeth. “Go to hell, perv.” You mumble. Daryl glares at you, wishing you’d stop making it worse for yourself. “Well, since you wanna do this the hard way, I’ll show ya the hard way-” Just as the older man gets even closer to you, you quickly push him off, grabbing the pocket knife you have in your boot, the only weapon the group didn’t confiscate or notice. Obviously, this plan is stupid, but it’s your only shot. Before any of the guys can grab you, you slice the arm of the one who was previously holding you, quickly running away and exiting the building, letting your feet take you as fast as possible as the group follows you.

“Oh, you’ve done it now girl.” One of them yells, calling after you. You enter another building, having no time to check for walkers, as one walks right towards you. You take a second to push it back, hoping it slows down the group. Thankfully it does, the walker surprising the group as they enter the next building, biting into of their necks. You leave through the back door, having no time to get Daryl, and running back to the train tracks, not stopping until you’re out of their sight and at Terminus.

“Hey! Let me out!” You bang on the shipping container the people of Terminus put you in, trying to hold back your frustrated sobs. So much for a save haven.

You turn around and slide down the cold metal walls, running your hands through your hair, anger boiling inside of you. Everyone’s gone and now you’re trapped in a container.

“(Y/N)?” You immediately recognize that accent as Rick’s. “Rick?” You gasp, happy to at least see a familiar face as he walks out of the shadows. However, your smile grows even wider when you see Glenn and the others walk out with him. “Glenn! Oh my god, I thought I’d never see you again!” You yell, running towards him and pulling him into a hug. He’s barely able to register it’s you as he wraps his arms around you, smiling resting his head on your shoulder. “I love you.” He pulls away from the hug. “I love you too.” You whisper. The rest of the group watches the sweet moment, before bringing themselves back to the grim reality of the situation. “(Y/N), I’m sorry, I swear I didn’t know those guys were fucked up.” A voice suddenly catches your attention, causing you to turn around and see Daryl, “It’s fine, I know.” You sigh, taking a second to hug him as well, the man trying to hold back his own tears. “You know I’m happy to see you, (Y/N), but we gotta figure this out.” Rick breaks the moment, causing you to put your serious face on again, “I know.” You reply.

[mugentakeda]

opinion on Iroh living in Ba Sing Se in the comics ? :3c *bats eyelashes at Iroh meta mutual*

personally I get the political reasoning for it (he very much was well known for participating violently in the war so it'd be a pretty awkward way to start peace talks and such) but like... as an Iroh + Zuko codependency truther... hmn...

though he DOES come to the FN later in the comics to help Zuko out so its like.. did you leave him because you were terrified of making things worse ? were you convinced he didn't need you anymore and so lumbered off to BSS in self-imposed exile certain that you'd be a burden to his personal growth ? or did he just underestimate the distance .. forgot Zuko wouldn't be able to hop on a Bison all the time to visit him... driving me Krazy.

honestly. i think a horrific combination of all of these could work simultaneously. like theres political merit but also iroh might also personally somehow think him being away from zuko will benefit zuko (as if zuko didnt miraculously managing to undo his lifetime of Bad Things in less than like. A year. entirely through various methods of suffering. things that would take grown men their whole life and then some to undo, if even that. And hes like 16 and now hes a monarch and hes gonna be busting his ass everyday for the rest of his life until hes too old to stand up straight). and that yeah hed also underestimate how much being a world away from zuko actually sucks

because something i lovee highlighting in my art of them is that iroh doesnt just love his nephew, he likes his nephew. hes fond of his nephews crankiness, the hovering, the theatrics, the shouting and stomping, the awkwardness and thoughtfulness. there are probably days where iroh just cant work up the typical jovial customer service and diplomacy energy and just broods in the jasmine dragon because he keeps accidentally brewing enough tea for two, cooking enough dinner for two, calling through the house for his nephew and then remembering hes stuck cooped in the caldera, having screaming matches with his councilmen over how to deal with shit iroh and his brother and their forefathers did to scar the world not even before lunch time.

so its like. a combo of the Grand Lotus in iroh who focuses on the political merit and worldly benefits of him being in bss, the shitty ill in the dome codependent Uncle iroh who mopes over not having his prickly ass barnacle of a nephew looming over his shoulder and glaring at people all the time, the Bad At Emotions And Communicating guy in iroh that gets so ashamed of what hes willing to put his own kid through for the sake of the world that he doesnt know if he even has the stomach to visit the caldera and look his nephew in the eye as he drowns under mountains of stress dealing with irohs baggage, etc etc.

and there are also probably things zuko doesnt know about and iroh isnt sure if hed ever have the strength to tell zuko about. at the beginning of zukos joke banishment, the white lotus had been like well if you do decide to take the throne once we figure out how to take down ozai youll need an heir and if your nephew is as good deep down as you claim then maybe mold him to align with us so when you step down he could at the very least be a puppet ruler so we can ensure he doesnt start another war. and then that plan just got adjusted slightly and expanded upon once the avatar wasnt a fairy tale anymore. it hurts worse now after they had reconciled before the comet because now zuko looks at him with a loving, trusting, praising look, despite how little iroh believes he really deserves it. and worst of all he doubts theres anything he could really do to convince zuko that he doesnt deserve that because iroh would bet anything that zuko genuinely thinks hed deserve it if iroh decided he didnt want anything to do with zuko.

hes like doing these weird gymnastics where he pushes these hoity toity white lotus beliefs onto zuko despite barely even abiding by them himself , and then also knowing he doesnt deserve the blind adoration zuko has been showering him in lately. its like iroh takes all his conflicting emotions and opinions, puts them in a blender, drinks it, and then throws it all back up. i doubt theres anyway to conclude his thought process in a paragraph or less basically.

like i know a lot of people agree leaving zuko for bss retirement era is stupid and i agree but also consider the angst potential and also the white lotus is stupid and iroh is stupid and zuko isnt stupid but he also thinks iroh hung the sun and stars so its more sad on his part than anything because he cant even escape getting the short end of the stick with IROH and doesnt even know it. and it will probably stay that way. Lol!!!!!

[cycle-hit]

i do NOT know how people think kotoko yuzuriha is normal when she's literally right there.

you think she has no issues or problems with anything? ever? the masc 20 year old with 230238409234 ear piercings and an undercut and a strong sense of justice and a lot of rage and an anger against the world/system? who lives separate from a family implied to be traditional? potentially even traditional in a "men should be providers for the family and the women should be housewives and blood is thicker than water" way which could correlate to her masculinity? kotoko yuzuriha who is a freelancer? who's on break from college? who cant trust anybody ever? who imagines herself running with wolves and transforming into a "monster"/wolf? who is very, VERY smart?

you think shes normal? you think she has No Problems? With ANYTHING? NOTHING AT ALL? SHE'S JUST MAD AT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM FOR FUNSIES? JUST TRYING TO CHANGE THE WORLD/SYSTEM FOR FUNSIES? OR DO YOU THINK SHE'S TRYING THAT FOR SELFISH REASONS? SHE KILLED SOMEONE. THE ENTIRETY OF HER NARRATIVE IN DEEP COVER IS THAT SHE'S TRYING TO HELP SOMEONE WHO'S YOUNGER THAN HER. MAYBE EVEN HELPING LUCKY DO BETTER THAN HER, TO DO RIGHT BY WHAT HAPPENED TO HERSELF. TO MAKE SURE SOMEONE OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION DOESNT HAVE TO SUFFER THAT. THIS IS ALSO LEAVING OUT MANY, MANY OTHER INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT KOTOKO.

MAN..........

[skatingbi]

When I say sanji falls hard i mean he falls HARD homies!!

My fighter pilot au is also a modern au, so during the 2 years sanji and zoro are apart they constantly talk on the phone. Zoro hates texting so sanji will go out of his way to call zoro when they both have a break.

Their conversations last hours. Theyre not always talking but sanji is content with the comfortable silence that also makes up their calls as well. He just likes being with zoro in any way he can be until theyre able to meet again.

When its not silence zoro is talking about his family mihawk and perona, or the lessons he's taking (which zoro refuses to tell sanji what they are), or the unclassified information on the assignments he's been doing. Sanji talks about his mandatory leave where he goes back home and helps zeff with the baratie. He complains about his old man while also talking about how much he missed cooking. They talk about things other than work for probably the first time since that night sanji woke up with a panic attack a few years ago.

During these two years, sanji learns so much about zoro and he feels loved at the same time in zoro's own unusual way. In return, zoro learns more about sanji and basks in getting to be with sanji even if theyre on opposite sides of the world.

Unfortunately, their comrades are suffering by watching them be hopelessly in love to the point where it feels like experiencing second hand embaressment. Sanji SUCKS at flirting and zoro wouldnt even know someone was flirting with him even if it hit him square in the face with a 50 pound brick.

Nami and Usopp are betting on who confesses first. Luffy couldnt care less about the betting but still likes to be a supportive friend and participates anyways. Robin and Franky dont bet money but talk about it as well. Regardless, the majority vote that Sanji will confess first, even if it'll probably be the worst confession anyone's ever heard in their life.

Like you think these two idiots know anything about romance? Absolutely Not. They're in their early 20's and spent most of their life growing up too fast and having to survive more than live.

So when during those two years, the second year is maybe one assignment and mostly being sitting ducks at their respective bases they stay at, sanji and zoro talk more and more about their other dreams. They start to learn how to live, slowly but surely through each other, despite being oceans apart.

Flirting between them is useless, but opening up and baring their souls to each other isn't. When you put two guarded men together with walls up, it can either end in tragedy like betrayal or in them tearing down each others walls.

When Sanji bears his soul to Zoro, he understands for the second time how much he cant live without him. How much he truely wishes he could at least look at zoro face to face and trace all the scars on his skin with reverence and adoration.

Sanji's heart aches more and more as the two years pass by. The next time they call, though, his heart nearly stops when he hears zoro's voice still raspy from waking up so late in the morning for the Nth time that week to hear him say in fucking french by the way, dear god sanji isnt gonna be able to survive this any longer now.

"Good morning, Sanji"

[ima-ghost-art]

Okay so I need steve and wayne to bond or so help me!!

Okay so I cant remember if its cannon but I definitely see Wayne Munson as ex military, so hes definitely seen some shit before he took in eddie.

Now seeing as hes seen some shit, hes become hyper aware of picking up the signs of ptsd from having witnessed many people (as well as most likely himself) suffer from it. Meaning the moment he properly meets steve, he knows that this boy has gone through something incredibly traumatic. He also picks it up in alot of the other kids who hang around eddie, but its obvious that steve is hiding that whatever happened was effecting him so much.

And wayne so badly wants to reach out to this kid and help him, but he doesnt know what steve had gone through (he briefly remembers the kid was involved with helping save people from the StarCourt fire and is pretty sure it must be part of it.)

Now pare this with wayne, steve robin and eddie all getting kidnapped (either by the Russians again or some of bernners men) and they get separated into 2 groups. Wayne and Steve, and Robin and Eddie.

Wayne, as he trys to offer comfort to the teen, (the man swearing he would do anything in his could before he watches his kids get hurt!! Hes an old man but he can still take a punch!!!) Only for steve who's still chained to his side of the cell to start laughing!?

Like this is the type of laughing that sounds hysterical, that cant quite believe hes in the same situation AGAIN now with his boyfriend and bestfriend trapped god knows where and HEs trapped with his bfs uncle.

And wayne is just floored because, what's the point of keeping everything a secret now?? So steve is just sitting there laughing with this far away look in his eyes as he explains getting tortured by the Russians, and how it's honestly pathetic because he did know stuff about what they were doing that they didnt understand, but they just kept asking who he worked for, not what he knows. So he was just beaten and beaten to the point that one more severe head trauma like that would no doubt make him brain dead at this point!?

And as he keeps rambling and rambling, even mentioning how his parents didnt care since he was already such a disappointment, and Wayne's heart is just slowly breaking because no one was there for this boy! From the sounds of it he refused to tell everything to his bestfriend who experienced it with him (not that robin told him she heard everything that happened, she wanted to respect his dignity and let him tell her), but she couldnt truly be there for him if he didnt let her. Hell he even kept the full of it from eddie!! But now Steve's trapped in a cell again, and it doesnt matter that hes in here with his partners parental figure, because Steve's already excepted that he was probably going to die here and at least someone should know before that happens!!

Thankfully hopper and joyce (along with the cavalry and a super powered teen, everyone gets out with minor injuries) and wayne is just like Steve your my son now, your gunna move in with me and eddie in our new government appointed pre payed for house, and I'm going to make sure me and my nephew treat you with all the care you deserve!!

(Of course eddies all for this, he would love steve no matter what!!!!!)

[dreamingwithmyadhd]

Howl Pendragon, Touya Todoroki, Natsuo Todoroki, Toshinori Yagi

I'm writing this at 4:21 in the morning i haven't slept in 34 hours

Here are some headcanons i have for some of my favorite fictional men.

Howl Pendragon

He really enjoys peaches even if they aren't native to Wales. He will have them imported for both himself and for any lady he has his eyes on.

He knows how to sing, however he doesn't believe he can equate his singing skills with his physical features so he doesn't focus on that

He is incredibly stingy with skincare routines. He invented skincare. I mean he takes care of every pimple, clears every pore, clears dead skin and makes his face smooth as a child

He is around 25 but as a child he was mistaken to be two years older and skipped two birthdays by accident.

He loves to read confusing poems and daydream about who they were written for, if written for anyone.

Touya Todoroki/Dabi

He hates all seafood not just fish. everything but scallops, which can be hard to get

he suffers from old man cramps™ in his knees and back, resulting in him debating to get a walker or mobility aid

hes too proud to admit when he is injured, and fell into the stigma that a, men dont cry and b, if men cry it means that they are weak and undeserving of praise.

He eats mostly with his canines. His front teeth are too sensitive for him to enjoy eating with again, so stabbing, tearing and ripping are done by his canines and molars.

He is actually very pleasant to be around when he isnt spewing about being a failed project of endeavor and wishing to hold the ashes of his father's eyeball or some gross body part

Natsuo Todoroki

He is a sweet guy, and helps with homework more often than not.

He prefers his older sibling Fuyumi over anyone else in the family, and sees her as a confidant, not just a sister or another person but a confidant.

He plays rugby in the summer and football and swim during the winter, on top of that maintaining a good GPA and family relations. Well maybe not good family relations.

He suffers from very poor anger management issues however he went to therapy after Touya's "death" and found ways to cope with it and heal better.

He can easily eat himself into a food coma after thousands of calories are simply swallowed like they're nothing.

Toshinori Yagi:

Give him a gift and he will cry. the man is so sensitive in his older years

He really enjoys when people call him toshinori because it measn they dont value him just for all might or his strength, but as a person

He visits memorials of people he feels he failed or has lost over the years and it gives him comfort that they arent in pain anymore. He looked for years to find the past users of One for All and he can spend hours at their graves to honor them

He cant cook. At all. When he was in america he learned how to grill a mean steak but besides that he cant cook much of anything and along with his stomach being well gone, he usually has smoothies and lighter foods.

He WILL go on tangents about america if you bring that up. He loves teaching his students (sometimes false) things about his experience in america. sometimes he switches over to english when hes recounting things he did and his students have to remind him they dont speak it as well as he does, nor do they know the old man slang he uses in his english

[heckinconfusedparade]

Can we get Knuckles watching Titanic with Maddie now?

Knuckles watches the Titanic

Knuckles was the one to bring it up. His friends at school were talking about it, and he wants to join in.

If Sonic were present during the conversation, he would have begged Knuckles to not watch and spare him the emotional damage.

One night he and Maddie sit down on the couch with popcorn ready to watch the movie.

Maddie has to explain that the film takes place in 1912, hence the little to no technology.

Knuckles knows absolutely nothing about the Titanic other than Rose and Jack really love each other. When he sees Rose has a fiancée, he is confused. Why does she fall in love with Jack when she has this guy?

But when fiancée hits her, he understands why she fell for someone else. Knuckles does not understand how someone could ever hurt someone they love.. then he wonders if the fiancée even loves her in the first place.

Knuckles doesn’t like to admit it, but he loves the romance genre! The passion! The love! Christmas movies are his favourite. So watching Jack and Rose fall in love with each other made him smile.

During the painting scene, he isnt sure what to do. Should he look away?? He just looks at Maddie for help. She doesn’t help, she just giggles at him.

It gets worse during the car scene. His eyes are glued to the screen. He cant look away. It’s like a terrible train wreck he can’t tear his eyes from. The only thing he says is “…that escalated quickly.” Which makes Maddie laugh again.

Seeing the hand, he is again confused. He did not know that it gets misty during devils tango. Knuckles isn’t sure if it’s just a movie thing, or a real life thing, as it was never mentioned in any books he’s read about puberty (it was one book he read). When it’s over he’s relieved. He will hold his questions for the end.

Then the iceburg. Bro doesn’t know what to make of it at first, but once he realizes the ship is sinking, and people are freaking out, he is freaking out.

“Mother! What is going on??”

“The ship hit an iceburg.”

“ARE THEY GOING TO DIE??”

Knuckles is offended when Maddie doesn’t answer.

He is thankful when Jack is rescued but also mad at Rose because she gave up a safe spot and sacrificed herself when she should have really saved herself. He would do the same though.

Knuckles is angry seeing all the low class people being trapped on the lower decks. He’s even more angry seeing that people are being denied lifeboats and that the ship did not have enough.

Watching the ship go down made him feel terrible. So many people ending up in that freezing cold ocean water.

When Jack can’t get on the door, Knuckles has to restrain himself from shouting, as it is late at night and his little brothers are sleeping peacefully upstairs.

As the camera pans over the frozen bodies, he takes a sharp inhale. His stomach churns seeing the corpse of an infant. That poor soul didn’t even get a chance.

Watching Jack die and disappear into the depths of the ocean, Knuckles felt a deep pain in his hopeless romantic heart. He didn’t deserve to die. He wonders what will happen to Rose now.

He is extremely relieved when she gets rescued. Even more so when she is reunited with her loved ones. Then pissed when he sees the fiancée. Knuckles hopes that bastard continues to think Rose is dead and never speaks to her again, or even looks in her direction.

Knuckles watches old lady Rose throw away her necklace in shock. He could never throw something of such value!

Maddie explains to Knuckles that Jack and Rose are the only fictional part of the story and that everything else had actually happened. His heart sinks hearing that so many lives were lost at sea in such a terrible way.

Knuckles does end up crying when he does more research the next day. So many unidentified corpses of men, women, and little children. So many bodies that have not been found. So many family heirlooms lost to the cruel ocean blue. Those that survived suffered with severe trauma for the rest of their lives.

Knuckles knows what it’s like to loose people you care about. To have everything ripped away from you in a matter of minutes. He hopes that the survivors are finally at peace, all of them having gone to finally reunite with the lost.

He and Sonic talk about it and decide that Tails will not watch the film until he is at least 12 and less likely to be traumatized by the car scene alone.

[dowagersqueen]

i think i might be one of the few alicent stans whos not a fan of some of her stans deflecting all responsibility for aegon. the reaction of her stans is understandable since viewers are as expected choosing to single her out as some kind of despoiler of her children (especially since this ep was viserys pov/pain heavy) but entirely deflecting any responsibility is IMO both wrong and also boring. ik the trope of abuse victim afflicting abuse on others(their children is tired but i cant help being endlessly compelled by alicents dynamics with all 3 (hopefully 4 soon lol) of her children. love hearing your thoughts on hotd and alicent especially

no, i get it. i mean, obviously, alicent's parenting and just the way she behaves has had an effect on her children. with aegon, it's especially true because of how young she was. not only was she inexperienced in taking care and bonding with a child, esp one born under those circumstances, but she suffered and suffers from anxiety and we've seen her dissociate not just when viserys was using her, but also sometimes when she's with her children.

i'm pretty sure alicent had behaviors and coping mechanisms that affected all of her children, and like i said that is esp true for aegon because i think it was a little hard on her the first time, to be with child, and then it got a little easier, and she knew more. in fact, we often see that in real life. mothers do better with younger children and although it's not always the case some children do, rightfully so i guess, develop ill feelings for the parents because of the difference in parenting.

but anyway yeah, i agree. and on top of that having an absentee father is bound to affect the kids too. and with viseyrs admitting he never loved them... children feel that. they pick up on it.

definitely, aegon, aemond and helaena didn't have stellar parents, and perhaps there are times when rhaenyra was warmer and kinder and more understanding with her children, but they also had different circumstances.

i do think alicent loves them very much, even aegon, despite the horrible things that he did and is doing, because some mothers just hold that in their heart, she's definitely made and is currently making mistakes with them, and there's a number of factors that play in how she deals with what aegon is doing, but yeah.

she was pretty hard on aegon because she feared for him and expected of him the most. he was the oldest, supposed to be rhaenyra's first contester with his mere existance, as we see in ep 3, and she put a lot of pressure on him, but also... there should have been more active parenting. it's hard because i believe young men of that time, especially princes, do have some sort of liberty that they get, and there's a lot of boys will be boys in that society, so idk to what extent she should have allowed aegon to drink because obviously that's one problem.

but at the end of the day some of it is aegon himself at least. at some point you are old enough to take decisions and it cannot always be your mother's fault.

as a sidenote many think alicent did something to helaena or the like to make helaena flinch. i go with the headcanon that helaena is autistic and a dreamer and had a different experience growing up and she isn't just so open to touch when she's young but when she's older we see that changes.

i really wish alicent would have made better choices with aegon. and i wish aegon would have made better choices with aegon. and this sudden change in narrative, where aegon is no longer just morally grey against rhaenyra has kind of made me feel a bit meh tbh

thank you very much for the ask! sorry for rambling for so long!

[s0lar-ch3ri]

as promised, scu aus (not just the god mod vid)

SOME OF THESE GET DARK, DO BE WARNED!

i made it when i was younger but like i think the gods were found fam siblings and bizly got adopted in

god shlatt vs fallen grizzly or even the whole counsil

the gods slowly being murdered by their own creations/ their fellow gods creations. bizly gets stranded in the forest with the chickens, condi falling into the lava and burning to death, charlie slowly poisoned by his food, unable to craft anything to help, and grizzly ending up using his own weapons to get out of there (extra angst: he just cant manage to die. his weapons arent working on him and/or it always just barely fails. hes now stuck in a hell his friends suffered through the trouble to make and now he deals with it for all eternity alone. EXTRA EXTRA ANGST IF SOMEHOW FALLEN GRIZZ KNEW THIS ALL HAPPENED IN ANOTHER WORLD AND WAS JUST SO ENRAGED WITH HOW THEY REACTED)

as for the fellow gods creations, ive got a plan for that too. condi this time is torn up by chickens -bizly's creation (oh my brain is gorey, the way the counsil finds out is seeing the forest creatures running away from the area carrying condi's bloodied and ripped off body parts in their mouths), charlie is burned by the water in the regular world as bizly and grizzly watch unable to help -grizzly's creation (grizzly was in charge of overworld nature as well as the weapons and shit, ill probs do a friendly reminder post just for my well being), both bizly and grizzly struggle around with how the food functions and how to craft; bizly ends up trying to make grizzly's ultra sword and accidentally ate the golden apple -combo of grizz and charlie's creations ig, and grizzly beats the game alone and dies afterwards -condi's creations (im pretty sure condi moddedd it so youd insta die after beating the game).

tommy is more tameable (idfk why my brain said this word btu ill put it so you guys suffer too) in the 100 days mod and manages to semi help charlie by aqquiring some of the mad scientists old equipment and giving him some

after slime died (100 days mod again), hes sent to an area in the clouds where 3 men in thrones judge him. noticably, theres a a red throne in the middle made with clays and terracotas shaped like a pug wearing lanterns on its "ears", a throne to the left made of also glazed terracotas but also containing diamonds, buttons, and colored glass. the throne to the middle's right is green with more glazed terracota and more solid slime, but has some trident dents and is going under some redecorating of color thus some dark blue paint and wooden sign reading "bizlys throne" in messy letters. aka charlie is judged by the council which somewhat reconigze him but also cant be bias so yeh

grizzly's banishment was more of an accident this time and the boys hop onto their godly iphones and have to try and get grizz out the nether (imagining it similar to the god ghosts help out slime on the dsmp)

the multiverse collaspes and both the 5 minute disaster and hardest minecraft difficulty join the scu 100 days mod making shit a lot harder

robert (fuckin forgot ranboobs character name so im going with robert) shoots this god like guy in the face, just as charlie has come to the conclusion that hes gone mad and the shop keeper was an illusion in his head, and then the apocalypse gang (including tommy but hes nice because yes) take on a fucking god

mod vid jschlatt teams up with tommy and charlie now has 2 bitches to fight ig (bonus points: the scu gods in their own ways also help charlie)

ive seen cultist tommy for like the religion of prime but what if in the 100 days vid he was a cultist of jshlatt lmao

dont forget to like and subscribe

[1ore]

ough. everything happens so much and i barely have the processing power to talk about the men who live in my brain that aren't real. this is unacceptable. how is a woman to work under these conditions.

byuuillggghhh i make an effort anyway.

yuri got his shit rocked in the mists. i still cant believe my dumb throwaway idea is canon. i dont think that man 'came back wrong' so much as he didn't come back at all. instead, an entity who has been transformed to the point of being unrecognizable (but still technically a continuation of the same person) came out of the mists. happy pride.  

i think the sheer need to kick balthazar's ass is what brought him back. not just his own desire, but that of everyone and everything around him. he forms around the collective suffering and vacuous emptiness left behind in his wake, and while he DOES recover some memories on the way up, all of them are of conflict and war. which. has some implications for his sense of self and how he relates with literally everyone around him.  

he is instinctively drawn to people with unresolved grief, righteous anger, or other wounds related to wartime. For a while, he's not really a person but a physical force that strongarms the cruel and powerful into paying their moral debts, whatever that means. (the Norn description of the six gods not as persons but as motive forces is bouncing around in my brain.)  

inevitably this leads him back to his old gang as they converge on Kicking Balthazar's Ass. yuri is drawn to their hurt and remembers most of them from his time with the Pact, but only in broad strokes-- the great victories and terrible losses. he remembers almost nothing of their actual day-to-day relationships. he is vaguely compelled to learn more, but he doesn't know how to be anything but a shambling wraith. so. emotional intimacy doesn't come naturally. that, and everyone else just thinks they're hallucinating him out of grief.  

idk if yuri even GETS to kill balthazar. i think it's fun if he's robbed of the chance to fulfill his purpose, and feels anchored to tyria out of this sense of unfinished business. my man is once again embodying the vacuous emptiness left behind by war.  

right now, in the aftermath, he's kind of just orbiting people and trying to be helpful in his narrow, ominous, vaguely upsetting definition of being helpful. he remembers 'Commander Atropos' and 'Marshal Trahearne' well enough to hold a stilted conversation. The Lastborn is a puzzle to him, definitely knows that guy, definitely has The Long Shadow Of War hanging over him, but cannot for the life of him pin down why or from where. hasn't met his daughter the vinetooth yet, but when he does, she Will force those memories back into his miserable brain like a square cube into a circular hole. biting him and biting him and biting him and b  

(Of all people the Lastborn is probably handling this the best. he's like oh we all have those days where we cannot continue to exist without annihilating everything that we were and everything that we could have been. you're not special. maybe if you eat some soup you'll calm down.)  

       

something something trahearne finally getting to reciprocate the patience and kindness that yuri showed to him while he was in the pits of his psychic mordremoth prison. at first he's being dragged kicking and screaming into this but then he picks himself up and dusts himself off and 180's on it, just like his wild hunt. anyway that's all thanks for coming to my ted talk.

[away-ward]

Got some points to share :) What i dont understand the most is the fandom's hypocrisy of demanding emmy to be so accommodating to will despite her circumstances (even in the present) as if he was not one of the MOST PRIVILEGED WHITE MAN in his town or county, and most of the shit he got into was his own fault. He had old money WEALTH. Old. Money. Wealth. And he was also supported by the society AND institution, how is the fandom making him look like HE was the one who suffered most here? So much wealth that emmy didnt have, and yet he never spent a single cent to contact her again even after he saw her bruised and bloodied, yet the fandom expected her to come back to him? Like this guy prioritised his hurt feelings over her rejection rather than her ACTUAL HEALTH AND SAFETY knowing that nobody in that town gave a fuck about her at all. Will can spend all his inheritance and his mommy and daddys money on booze, alcohol, parties, sex parties, women, escort services, big cars, helicopter rides, YET he couldnt be there for emmy? Not even a call? A free email? Right. Sorry, but emory scott always deserves better to me, not will grayson. If i was emory, i woudve hurt her more ngl, im kinda vengeful with whiny bitches like will grayson. I cant stand him. I just knew that the reason why this fandom likes to pile on emmy because: 1. she admitted her fault and took responsibility of her actions unlike will, 2. She made it clear he didnt owe her anything (even when will himself said he shouldve staye) and didnt think she was entitled to will unlike will to emmy, 3. Its easier to sympathise over a sad white privileged guy after everything he did or didnt do to "his woman" because RoMaNce where if they can read about him simping about her in his mind, he was immediately ABSOLVED OF ALL GUILT AND WRONGDOINGS TO EMMY. But the devils night fandom is not ready for this take. Also because 4. when they said they like dark romance, they can only take shitty men like michael and damon, but hate it when the sex and gender was the opposite. My point is, its dark romance, if will can be shit, why cant emmy? Period. I dont even care if they get even at that point.

Thanks to this fandom, i thought about alex, this useless side character more than i had to so i had to. I'm also an alex hater through and through and i agree with a lot of anon and your points about alex here. In fact, i love the alex slander actually because putting aside some valid criticisms about how a lot of twitter dn fans are just misogynistic towards her because of their bias towards emmy, there are actually a lot of valid points why alexs character was just icky and you and that anon are the only ones that i have seen so far that have the same take as me. They like to dismiss our takes with "oh its an emory scott fans thats why, its the jealousy" like huh? First of all, why didnt yall talk about wills hypocrisy of sleeping around with everyone in a skirt but was jealous as fuck of damon and aydin bonds with emmy? Yeah, right. Second of all, even emory can be rational when willalex were giving her shit, just because emmy was emotional in those moments, doesnt mean she was irrational. She was literally kidnapped to an abandoned island with no one there to help her and will made it clear he didnt give a fuck about her and reminded her how she was nothing to him. Alex who was supposedly her "friend" wanted her to stay and help will as if she had no other job and responsibilities outside of will. Why would she stay? Shes not even rich, she gotta go back home and pay her bills. Stupid argument honestly. Tbh, My dislike for alex was not even because of her relationship with Will. They both owed emmy nothing, even em knew this. A big part of the fandom hates alex because of this willalexs take but i personally dont agree with this take tbh. Instead of blaming alex on this, the argument between alexemmy started because it was on will, and even aydin to a certain extent, for being a fucking loser of a man, and for pitting two women against each other.

But i also wanna just say to these people who defended alex palmer so much: lets not act as if alex never had a history of laughing at other women when SHE was being put on a pedestal, instead of someone else (especially with michael to rika in corrupt, and damon to winter in kill switch) either. Like rika, banks, winter, and alexs relationship started with misogyny. LIKE LITERALLY. Only alexemmys relationship started with a bonding OUTSIDE of being pitted against one another no matter how weird the circumstances was. Even then, theyre still just on acquaintances level yk. And i feel like alex felt challenged and angry at emmy in nightfall because she thought emmy was better than her (alex chose to believe because her shallow world had not allowed her to think about anything else as long as it justified her anger. She also probably was jealous and look at emmys situation and think emmy didnt have to do anything but all these men were going to jail for her, suddenly being her brothers and protective of her, bonding with the guys or smth like that, and later have access to so much wealth, ad compared to her who had been an escort etc., yet still she had nothing. Its totally irrationally personal, her anger towards emmy was not rational at all). Its the jealousy and inferiority speaking tbh.

Look at the way aydins ex, rika, banks, thunders bay people etc. talk to her? Like shit. Whether its in front or behind her back. Now did this misogyny happened for alexemmy's friendship? Nope! Best girl Emory Scott thats right! Even rika, banks and winter had slutshamed alex and other women with various degrees, but look at the way emmy talk about sex workers? (These girls too grew up with so much isogyny so understandably, they had to unlearn and relearn a lot. Theyre so different in nightfall, love that for them tbh). Like heavens and earth and i think its easier for people like alex to accept being treated like shit because unhealthy female relationship and rivalry was what she was always used to, and she always had to be the person to initiate being the "cool girl who'll just roll with everything", especially with her relationship with banks) that when she found a healthy and supportive female friend that didnt start like shit, and would ACTUALLY take her side instead of their man (will or aydin), she was kinda shocked and became stupid, not knowing how to react to it in a kinder manner. Its like a defense mechanism. Alex never rose her voice to rika, banks and winter, unlike what she did to emmy and its because she probably never felt challenged by them because their men still paid for her services so what can these women do much to her really + she never saw aydin took interest in them like he did with emmy (disregarding the manipulation aside, im trying to make people understand her possible pov). This is why woman should have healthy female relationships! No one wants to be like corrupt rika, pre-marriage banks/ winter and nightfall alex! No one wants to admit that alex too, just everyone else, had internalised misogyny. I dont think anyone ever noticed the nuances really, alex hid it too well, but it shone through in her lowest moments unlike emmy. Because when emmy was at her lowest, she never humiliate alex to step on her like what alex did to emmy in blackchurch or on the train, but emmy straight up attack will (verbally) because why would she attack alex? Will was the one who hurt emmy not alex. But aydin attacked alex, and its emmys fault that alexs man was shitty? She was so wrong for that. Emmy never even shame her throughout nightfall, so this only highlights how different emmy's character in this series. Ngl, i think only Emory is the true girls' girls in this series. *Side note, Alexaydin, sigh... such fucking cowards this couple tbh.

Wasnt it also mentioned in conclave that alex had a fall out with her ex's roommate and then she was labelled "the slut" as if the three of them were not being stupid horny college students together, but alex was the only person who be the bad guy. That must have caused a lot of resentment in her because then she just became an escort not only to support her education and lifestyle, but also to use it against aydin. How does that even compare to emmy's pain, honestly! Theyre literally not the same and the fandom always like to dismiss em's pain just because em looked at her highly even when the text in the books shows otherwise. Alex couldve quit her job anytime now, she didnt need the money anymore, she did it for personal fun, sexual liberation and revenge against aydin. And now that when she went through the SAME THING that she did to other women by laughing at them and got treated like shit back, wow suddenly, emmys seen as a bitch? Huh? Emmy never even laughed at her face or looked down on her unlike others, not even once in nightfall unlike rika, banks or even winter, so i believe alexs stupid shit in nightfall was really out of inferiority complex and jealousy. Like "shes better than me thats why i had to put her down" kinda complex. The hypocrisy was too much but i dont think anyone really noticed this. Thats why alexs character was shit to me because her arc was so??? Where did this misogyny came from? But then when i think again and piece her story from the start, it made sense because to a certain extent, alex probably had looked down at all these rich people (including women bcs if her ex roommate) with their rich problems and then she met emmy, who didnt fit in with these stereotypes she had about people of thunder bay, and she had heard a lot of good things about em from will prob, so her sex worker card that she likes to use against these people suddenly dont work anymore because she realised that she wasnt the only one suffering. She cant best her, so in her moment of anger, she had to step over emmy in front of everyone but really, it just proves how nasty of a person she is and shownhow ugly her jealousy can be. Thats why she couldnt argue back with emmy after. She fucked up, but no one really noticed this because her misogyny wasnt so blatant like those in corrupt, hideaway and kill switch. What i also dont understand is how she always talk as if she was a victim EVERY. DAMN. TIME. Her speeches in corrupt, conclave and nightfall just solidified alexs characterisation. I cant stand her tbh, all of alexrika conversations really rot my brain lmao, because they always give these two stupid friends talking about eveyrthing and nothing vibes.

Since this is dark romance, i can understand if pd wants to put a character like alex, or any women really to be shit, but alexs fans didnt have to act like the annoyance towards her was because people cant stand willalex, as if alex herself was a snow white who can do no wrong or something, when she was proven that she did, was shitty sometimes. Like her mary sue character was even worse than rika 😭🤣 And the thing is, if everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemens family. The fact that these women are their partners, everyones already guilty just by association, like what emmy said to alex in the train. So why put alex or anyone from dn, on such a high pedestal so much? (Alex is kinda Like kai in her morally right shit, but she just got more fleck for it). Even i admit that emmy wasnt always a nice girl either but i wasnt delusional like alex and her fans tbh. Ugh, so annoying. Hopefully the bonus contents we're gonna get by pd soon only has exclusive willemmy contents for willemmy. or i will riot!!

Yeah, some of the readers need to re-evaluate their perspective. But I really don’t want to convince anyone to see things my way so…hopefully they stay wherever they’re at. As I’ve said before, I haven’t involved myself with any of the discourse or in-fighting in the fandom, so I’m not sure what they’re arguing over, but it sounds like a waste of energy and time. I mean, I get it’s willemmy vs willalex, but…like. Ugh could you imagine making that the center of your fandom experience? Horrible.

You make a good point about the start of the friendship between Alex and Emory. I’ve never been…happy (?) with how it started, because it involved Alex making a whole lot of assumptions about Emory and being right…because she’s Alex and she’s always right…of course. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be Alex. And then to have that be the one night they spend with each other, and suddenly Alex understands Emory like no one else. She gets her.

How?

Oh, right. It’s Alex. Enough said.

The idea that Alex couldn’t process anything that challenged her justifications for her anger because that would mean she’s wrong about something. It would be an actual flaw on her part. And that her feelings for Emory were borne a bit of jealousy. I’d have like if her character and went farther in that direction.

I think for my part, I always considered Alex’s main motive toward Emory was knowing that Will was still in love with her and that Emory had the power and ability to hurt him as she had before. She was protective of Will – “her reflection.” It’s nice to see another possibility/side of it. You make a good point. I guess I never considered Alex feeling inferior to Emory. Emory’s background being different from the people she’s surrounded herself with, to then see Emory rise above that and carry on, leaving Will behind like she probably saw Aydin rejecting her, and suddenly seeing the way Will and Aydin react to Emory might have made her feel small and like a stand-in, which she is for so many.

I agree that it’s a little out of bounds to compare Alex’s pain with Emory’s.

You said she couldn’t argue back with Emory and I’m not sure of the moment you’re talking about but the first thing that came to mind was “that’s my shirt”…like, girl. Girl. Are we being that pathetic right now? But yeah. Alex’s “justified” anger was weak. And her framing herself as the victim was annoying.

“If everyone, even emmy, was so morally righteous, none of them would be the horsemen’s family.” Yeah, exactly.

I had to put the book down and take a deep breath with Rika said “I had to remind myself we weren’t really criminals.” Or something like that. Excuse me, ma’am, but what? You’re not what now? Have you not been paying attention? You cannot erase the last three-to-four years.

Alex is like Kai in her moral superiority is not a take I thought I’d ever see but…there it is. Nice to see they have something in common.

I didn’t know we were getting any bonus content but you’re the second person who’s told me. I hope we get something good for NF.

[unicorngirlcum]

but now im actually trying to make friends in this new city and beyond, like way beyond, and it seems like everything could be alright, but still its hard to keep going and trying and all. im so depressed and i guess just weird, its hard, a lot of myself is so nit representative of what i dream of and what i feel like, it makes it hard to present myself to people. if i did myself and my soul justice i would have a panic attack just waving at my neighbors. which sucks, not even giving them a chance, and its all due to such old and undefeated issues with myself. if i could go back in time and say anything to myself from 10 or 12 years ago when i was 13 or even 10 or 12, i wouldnt. i would stay here and spare myself the horror and the embarrassment. maybe i could say something to the pain and the shame of that poor stupid autistic kid, but i think just the sight of me would make them feel too hopeless, too resigned to a fate so tragic no beauty could be extracted and only hell follows. no sexy demons or deep tortured souls, only the burden of suffering, regret, and rot. stagnation. true wretchedness. i feel sometimes like a festering boil, something ive never had, but i cant help but see myself as this horribly monsterous thing. i love this website for its elevation of the monster and the gruesome, usually in some hulking way, its nice. but theres no avoiding the crash from glamorous monstrosity and gargoyle or werewolf or dragon gf or bf or even eldrich fish creatures or whatever you can find. the crash from the supremely abstracted grotesque. like to abstract the grotesque is to make it less complex, less like a carpet of pus or mold, and into something standing with a tight body.

but I cant help see myself as this thing more than this person at times, sure im this person but everyone on earth has the capacity to see a person as a thing. ive met old men with weird smells and sad lives. ive met people on the sidewalk with a completely detached look in their eyes. coworkers who were 5 months sober and then falling down over the sink. old women who could talk about little but the people who's company should impress me. gross men behind counters with pimpled bellies sticking out. young, awkward guys doing a british accent bagging groceries. im listing as many as i can think of because i really dont think i thought of them as things, but in a way i did. but i didnt... not so simple... maybe im being unfair to myself and to people..... but its still hard to shake the fear and to shake the pain that brings your hands over your face as if to push your being out of this world if only for a moment.

[sheviolentlyher]

girl, interrupted.

where do you go when non one listens to you? when you're a sad girl? no one likes the sad girl.

I am sad on my own time. in my own head. in my own body. but that is only to guide me. it is only to divert my eyes to the pursuit of beauty.

I like to think that no one else knows how to use their sadness properly. why is is such a shame that we get sad? especially women? does this mean we are unfit? does this mean we need therapy?

I feel as though my brain was raped. that's how I would explain my sadness. impregnated with the memory of rapist. yeah cant forget that I was the one who opened my mind, so am I to blame too? you can only blame me in the name of hindsight. I would like to say that I knew better, yes. but I didnt know. and that's what happens to women. they break later, but never during. because when you are suffering it seems the one who holds the power does not like to know that he did actual damage. why? because women are so willing and eager to please?

you hurt us so bad that we curse the maiden inside us. we shame, we think, we spiral. we scream hysterically in our mourning, all done inside our head with a smile.

men. they run. they run far, and denial is their best friend. I like the word coward, or thief.

my husband told me that hes seen great change in me since fall. and I cant help but notice that is when I left social media. and hes so right, he has confirmed what I have been feeling the last few months. fucking happy sis. happy. me. connected. thriving. cultivating. communicating. loving. living. laughing.

I think a lot about my self diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. if therapists can apply logic, apply the systems from a book, than so can I. I had felt pretty lost yesterday morning. like I wasn't present, I was panicking through old behavior. what I want to know is where the boarder is between personalities or do you just mean I am connected to my inner child and my choices seem a little impulsive, but isn't that life? spontaneity? connection to self?

I think the world is built to make you think there is something wrong with you instead of actually fixing the problem.

maybe. just maybe. maybe the entire world is sick.

maybe the entire world would be shot up with drugs and locked in a cell.

the snow is covering the rotting grass and everything seems so still. even the air. it's like a brick wall of cold.

I spoke to my father this morning. my real father, not my step father. we both agreed that earth is hell. this is hell.

I refuse to keep asking why. I refuse to keep telling you why.

-x

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 10: BIG DICK IS BACK IN TOWN

y/n is back in brooklyn for the holidays. thinking that a stream will make her feel less homesick for cali, she starts working on her famously titled hentai.free.srv. what was supposed to be a relaxing stream turns into a special delivery about two hours in.

─── corpse husband x reader ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 2.2k ─── ❥ req: Here's one... You know those apps for delivery like Domino's or whatnot... What if reader is streaming Among Us with Corpse, and reader mentions they're hungry and Corpse offers to order them food, and readers like no no it's fine... Then there's delivery at the door (Corpse ordered beforehand) 

author’s note: fucky format is also back in town baby!!! also if you find any mistakes - no u didnt <3 thank u everyone for enjoying this story sm i literally cant believe how feral yall going strawberry cow was a nuclear explosion im still recovering tbh. got an ask a while ago and decided to incorporate it into myso. happy holidays everyone! myso will continue on monday!

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous.  ҉   next.

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Indeed, being soft on any social media platform was the biggest disgrace and needed to be eliminated post haste. Moreover, it was a slippery slope - once you start flooding your timeline with cute imagery and heart emojis, what will stop you from posting inspirational Facebook quotes? Disgusting. If Rae were here, she would chide you (not you thinking about her as if she’s dead or something). For once in your life, you feel like you deserve it. 

Alas, you hope this little chaos you’ve caused is enough to throw everyone off. The stans, especially. You know the hashtags, you’ve seen ARMY scourging for info online with the same fervor and ruthlessness 1 Direction fans hacked airport security cameras just to spy on the boys. If you had any dirty secrets online, they are out to the public now - thankfully, besides the Harry Styles stan account (with edits and all), you have nothing. Though, now that you think about it, exposed nudes would have been better than your Punk!Harry edit receiving almost a million views. God, your life’s a fucking mess.

Your fans aren’t the only ones out for info - you, too, are trying to decipher Rae’s message. Code: Barbecue Sauce. The two of you had come up with it roughly two years ago, around the same time when you promised that if you didn’t find significant others by the time you’re 40, you’ll just marry each other. It was one of the many rules found in your friendship codex. Barbecue Sauce signifies information - an exchange of information. And depending on how it ends or begins (”So I’m sitting there” alludes to Rae, “On my titties” alludes to you), secret data on that person is given away, usually free of charge. 

But why? And to whom did Rae give away what? You had pestered her mercilessly and even sent some voice messages where you were crying. You were only crying because of a video of a grandpa smiling you saw on TikTok, but you are a snake, and so you put those tears to good use. If streaming doesn’t work out, you’ll just become an actress. Hollywood would love you. Your PR firm sure as fuck wouldn’t, though.

Rae was having none of it. She said you’ll figure it out eventually. Told you to channel your superior puzzle skills. You were quick to remind her that you can barely count to ten without having an aneurysm. Oddly serious, she admitted that she worries for you sometimes. Why only sometimes?! you demanded. She merely sighed. uttering under her breath something that sounded closely to “Boke.”

You leave her for barely a week and she’s already neck deep in the gay volleyball anime, hoodie and cardboard cutout and everything. Your life is falling apart.

But Brooklyn is nice. It had snowed when you stepped off of the plane. Thousands of snowflakes sprinkling into your hair, dotting your cheeks and nose. You missed this sight back in Cali. You missed your parents, too. 

Home cooked meals, old sweaters, your old room and about 40GB worth of old high school pictures on your computer. You went through them all one night. Some were stomach churning, cringe inducing nightmares. You were especially fond of those. Texted some of your friends that were still in Brooklyn, met up, decided to bake. Bad idea, Rae was the resident chef back in Cali. Besides laughing till your stomach hurt, and almost burning down your kitchen, nothing all that significant happened. Somewhere down the line, at about 3 am, half-way through a cheesy rom-com you had the overwhelming urge to text Corpse.

That’s where the problems really started. God, you missed California, missed being in the same timezone with a guy you hadn’t even met yet, how embarrassing is that?! You missed skating around and taking pictures of the beach in the setting sun, sending it to him, silently wishing he was with you to admire the view. 

You really want to call him. And to hang out with him. But for some reason, the thought of that springs up immediate anxiety and you shy away from asking. Him sending you cute good morning texts doesn’t help, either. Maybe it’s better he doesn’t know that you’re a blushing, stuttering mess each time you read “baby”. 

Late evening. Your stream is already set up, people are slowly trickling in and you greet them with a grin and a soft “Hello! Hi hi!”. You did your best to make your room a perfectly chaotic backdrop - led lights, an embarrassing amount of anime merch and plushies. You always try to balance out your weeb side by dressing hot as fuck for your streams - today’s inspiration just so happens to be egirls. Mostly because you watched one too many egirl make-up tutorials on TikTok, and also because you’ve been listening to Corpse’s song all day.

Yeah, no, who are you kidding, you dressed up this way because you were hoping Corpse was watching your stream. You didn’t forget your cat headphones, either. You know he likes them. You want to make him suffer. Perhaps then, finally, he will ask you out, so you wouldn’t have to.

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“I feel like,” You start when you put away your phone, staring idly at the chat, “I feel like I need a new name for you guys. Calling you guys after two years of streaming is just... weird, no? I also don’t respect men so I don’t want to call you guys. Like, so many creator’s have, like, a name for their fans. Uhm, Cody Ko has the chodesters, Kurtis Conner has, uh, folks? Kurtis Town? Citizens! Markiplier has mommy issues--” You can’t help snorting, “So, I’ve been, like, thinking - I know, shocking! - so I was thinking I’m gonna name you cockroaches. Because you’re grimy little shits impossible to kill. And also then I can use the legendary Minaj meme ROACHES!”

Your stream enthusiastically echoes ROACHES, making the chat swim. Yes, if anyone would enjoy such a name, it would be your audience. You’re as equally proud as you are disturbed.

“Well, anyway.” Leaning back into your chair, you throw your arms out with a bright grin, “Big dick is back in town, baby! If you noticed the backdrops different, it’s cuz I’m in Brooklyn now. Don’t ask me when I will return to Always Sunny, I don’t plan that far ahead.”

While Minecraft boots up, you decide to answer a few questions.

r u dating sykkuno?

You want to smack your head into the keyboard, but as it is, you can’t exactly afford a new one, so you refrain, “No, Sykkuno and I are not dating, we are just good friends. Uhm, I’m not sure how much I’ll have to repeat this, but, we really aren’t, so if the roaches could chill - Oh my God, that sounds so stupid, I love it - uh, yeah, if the roaches could chill that’d be great.”

the roaches lmao sounds like we’re a sports team

“Oh shit, yeah it does, uh-- maybe I can make like, jerseys or something. That’d be cool, I think.”

how disappointed are your parents with the way your life turned out?

“My parents are actually not disappointed at all!” You say with a cute little smile, “Uhm, they’re both really proud, actually. They’re glad I found something I love doing and made a job outta it. Dad finds my Youtube videos endearing. Yes, they watch pretty much all of my videos, unless I explicitly tell them not to. And yeah, with all the fucks and thirsting for anime characters. Uhm, it was very embarrassing at first, but I mean, after a while, shame just...doesn’t exist anymore, I guess? Funny thing about my parents, actually, when they watch my videos-” You eye catches a comment, “Oh! No, they only watch my Youtube videos. They don’t know how to use Twitter, thank God. Uhm, anyway-- when they hear a name they don’t know, like, I dunno, Dabi, or something, they google--” You’re grinning by now, eyes crinkling, giggling softly, “--who that is, and buy me like, merch and stuff. It’s really cute. 

can i be adopted by ur parents plz

will you and corpse ever collab?!

You were about to answer, though the man of the hour himself decides to do it for you.

Corpse_Husband: yes.

Okay, not to say your heart skipped a beat, but it totally did. With a pleased smile, you nod, like one of those bobble head toys sold at the dollar store. The motion is oddly reminiscent of Sykkuno’s own nod. Perhaps you had picked it up from him. The chat seems to notice.

pack it up, sykkuno

More questions pile about this mysterious collab you and Corpse are planning. Yeah, you’d like to hear more about it, too, since he single highhandedly decided one was happening right now. Corpse remains silent. Fine, keep your secrets. 

“Okay, guys, oh, I mean, roaches, Oh my God--” You’re covering your mouth, giggling, “-calling all roaches, calling all roaches, calm down. Everyone grab a snack and a blanket I’m turning up the music volume so we can all chill. Entering chill zone. Entering chill zone. Roaches, prepare.”

we are prepared

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An hour or so passes and you grow hungry. It shows with the amount of cakes you had baked in your server. Currently, you find yourself throwing eggs at the wall of one of the renovated houses, your face scrunched in concentration and slight frustration. 24 of the 50 eggs have been wasted. “What’s a girl gotta do to get some chicks around here?” you had uttered under your breath, until, finally, a screech - the egg finally spawns a mob. Your mouth falls open, “Aww, look!” You approach it, so small, walking in zigzags beside you, “It’s a baby chicken! Die, bitch.” The baby chicken is no more as you swing your bedazzled (you have mods) diamond sword. You’re cackling by the time the dust settles.

y/n is a child murderer

“Roaches,” You address your fan-base, spurring another fit of laughter - you can’t get over the name, “I think I’m like, forgetting that eating in Minecraft won’t actually make less hungry in real life.”

take a break and go eat queen <3

“Fuck no, we starve and die like men. Now I actually really need another chicken.”

Another twenty minutes trickle by and you’re trying to lure back a panda from the jungle when there’s a knock on your bedroom’s door. Whipping your head to the side, you slide down your headphones. At the same time, your mom pokes her head through the ajar door, “MOM!” You scream, “Get OUT of my room I’m playing Minecraft!” But your yell has no actual bite to it, as you don’t manage to hide your smile. Your mom laughs, doing some sort of sign language and motioning for you to follow her with her head. That or it’s some sort of performative dance. 

“I’m live right now,” You tell her, pointing at your screen. She knows this already, though, “do you want to say hi?” 

The roaches spam the chat with friendly hellos. You mom, quite impatient now, waves you over. 

“Sorry, roaches, mom needs something. Be back in a bit!”

Stopping the stream, you rush out of your seat and pleased she slinks into the hallway. “What’s this about?”

“Your pizza came.”

“My what now?” You echo, confused.

“Domino’s. You ordered pizza?”

“What? No? I was busy with the stream, I never--”

Thankfully, you had managed to grab your phone from your room before you exited. You almost choke on spit once you read the messages.

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You decide that it’ll be impossible to stream after experiencing what you had just experienced. You tweet out a quick apology to the roaches (God, that fucking name) and say that you had a breakdown but you’re okay. That is as a close to the truth as you managed to muster. It’s a sad sight, chewing and crying; your mom winced when she saw your state - disheveled hair and rundown eyeliner and everything. “D’aww,” She had muttered, caressing the top of your head, “don’t cry my little raccoon.”

If anyone was ever to ask you where did your chaotic nature come from, you’d answer with my mom. To make yourself feel better, you took a selfie - duck face and peace sign and the horrible 2000′s angle. Sent it to Rae. 

looking hot, her message read. 

thanks, was all you replied with.

You couldn’t just leave things as they were. Once you calmed down, you wanted to text Corpse, but how would you follow up the ungodly caps lock and screeching? Impossible. An idea sprung to mind, one that was brave. Taking the first step.

Instead of sending a text, you sent a voice memo.

“Thank you for the pizza, it was delicious.”

You voice still sounded a bit raspy. His reply was instant. Your heart skipped a beat. He sent a voice memo back.

“Glad you liked it, baby.”

He was going to be the death of you.

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tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @slashersdream - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury–moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai - @truly-dionysus - @multi-fandom-central707

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[schnozzbun-art]

What do you think about LISA: the painful as a satire of toxic masculinity? like the entire premise of the game hinges on men being so self destructive that they cant even make a functioning society, maybe its just me reading into it too much but like almost every single scene can be read as a critique of masculinity. my favorite part is that even the main quest of getting buddy is a brutal deconstruction of the 'overprotective father' trope.

I would say you have excellent media comprehension. Chef's kiss. Mwah👌Well done, anon.

I wouldn't say you're reading too much into it. In fact, you'd be validated by DL himself in your reading! There's this old interview (be aware it's, very much a product of its time both with its tone and quality. Also I don't have a time stamp of the exact moment, sowwy, but it's an interesting watch!) where DL mentions that he very much intended to satirise certain masculine attitudes that when pushed too far could be very dangerous. Imo, what we today would call toxic masculinity, ie: certain masculine traits that Western society encourages in cis men that are either destructive towards themselves (bottling up emotions, not seeking out help, not being allowed to cry) or destructive towards others (dehumanising women/treating them as sexual objects and encouraging the activity in other men, expressing emotions via violent outbursts, being blithe or uncaring towards the emotional suffering of other people, discouraging and mocking nurturing or other conventionally "feminine" behaviour displayed by men, discouraging and mocking physical affection between men.)

I think you can find example of nearly all of these in LISA the Painful through either its characters or scenarios, and what's so excellent about Painful is it’s extremely self aware of itself. It never really 'glorifies' these moments of extreme masculinity. It all comes across as 'wow.... it really sucks to live here :/'

Also interesting to think about is that the happiest/most peaceful moments in the game are moments that actively subvert toxically masculine tropes: glimpses into Buddy’s childhood where she’s allowed to use make-up on the uncles and Brad, or the Beehive area, which is a haven for Olathe’s men to express their gender and sexuality free from the judgement and punishment of toxic masculinity.

If you think about it, toxic masculinity is the source of all of the conflict through all three LISA games: men feeling entitled towards Buddy's body (either for sex or repopulating humanity), Brad bottling up his trauma and not letting people get close to him when they offer help (the flashback with Sticky and Brad in pre-flash Olathe comes to mind), and Brad being terse or brutal whenever he talks to Buddy (Brad finding Buddy in the cave, Brad yelling at Buddy about asking about Dusty, etc.)

I mean the currency, the legal tender in this world, is LITERALLY porn magazines—the ultimate symbol of the commodification and sexual objectification of women. The men who have the most power are the ones that have the largest accumulation of depictions of women posed and sold for the sexual gratification of the male gaze. 

If that's not on the nose I don't know what is XD

(And to follow up on this, again, it comes down to tone. It doesn’t really feel ‘cool’ or ‘awesome’ to accumulate this stuff. You have to kill people for them. You can’t look inside them. It feels desperate, pathetic, gross. It’s the way that the game frames these attitudes towards women as uncomfortable or ugly that make the game feel subversive rather than like, perpetuating/lionising these attitudes like Duke Nukem or something).

And yeah completely agreed that Brad is a good deconstruction of the 'overprotective father' trope. DL highlights that Brad’s behaviour is a direct result of his trauma, and really plays into the tragedy that Brad’s actions to protect Buddy are what hurt her the most, both physically and emotionally. It's because of Brad's emotional stoicism and callous violence that he alienates Buddy and she continually runs away from him. Brad is the ultimate depiction of toxic masculinity, as he embodies how it leads in the destruction of his allies, his relationships, and himself.

(.........and then the issue with Joyful is it undoes all this cool nuance by saying ‘aw, but Brad meant well 🥺 isn’t that enough? Shouldn’t Buddy forgive him just because of that?’ XD but I think I already talked about that in another ask).