#just here for a minute to yell into the void

[sphaliro]

One way to avoid AI from stealing your art jobs is to make your art as varied, diverse, expressive as possible. If your art is formulaic & focuses on the same type of subject, AI can break that down to a science & duplicate it. People like SamDoesArts, who is a popular professional artist who draws beautiful girls, or people who only draw yassified, smouldering webtoon-style kpop hotties, have styles that fall heavy victim to AI takeover. That's not an insult, it's a fact.

No matter how good your art is, if all the faces, style, color, composition looks similar; you have an exploitable formula. If you make money on your art, this is a bad thing for you! It's not fair that AI is using your work without permission for no pay. But this is our modern world, & it won't go away.

All we can do is focus on the power of what makes us human. Expressiveness, diversity of subject, ages & race; story & character-driven pieces, always trying something new... So far, AI (aka, the hack-jobs stealing art to put in a formula for free without permission; this is the fault of greedy nerds, not cute robots!!) cannot duplicate things like that so easy. If you're a pro, please consider that.

If you want to protect your work from AI algorithms, there's also the revolutionary (free!) GLAZE tool, which when added to your art, will destroy all data AI-bros try to extrapolate from your work. (More info on GLAZE here!)

If you really care about making art "accessible" to everyone, you must accept that it's only ethical with permission from the creators you want to use.

Artists are not soulless billionaires or Hollywood money-machines who are robbing you of the psuedo-socialist 'right' to have an anime-you profile pic. We are real people, living paycheck to paycheck, disabled, raising families, mentally going through everything you've struggled through, & more. It's not ethical to rob us of our expression & livelihood... AI-bros, if you won't pay us for our labor, you have no right to it. Any side of the political spectrum, capitalist pig to centrist sissy to commie scum, should agree with that.

The philosophy of "it's our right to use it, just get a real job" is the very philosophy that separates you from actual artists.

Technology is a wonderful thing. Start acting worthy of that wonder. Don't be a Skynet pawn. They won't spare you just because you taught them how to generate yassified kpop elf girls.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

i am not leaving the qsmp fandom bc i have faith that the people involved will work this out, but i am. very tired. guys lets talk about our other interests and fandoms for a minute come into my inbox scream about ur non-qsmp blorbos with me do it in any language lets get some positive vibes goin i wanna hear about ur blorbos <3

[formerly-evil]

Oh for fucks sake why did it take me this long to watch ofmd i am utterly obsessed and a whole new beautiful universe (fandom) has just been opened up for me and I feel like i can see stars for the first time in my life

[screambirdscreaming]

ok this is a long fucking shot but does anyone out here know anything about. Allergies but rather than having itchy runny-nose symptoms you just feel systemically like shit. Like fatigue, nausea, vague headache, moderate-to-severe excercise intolerance, that sort of thing. But correlated to like, pollen exposure. Or just air quality in general?

The best ballpark diagnosis I have is asthma, but I've never actually had An Asthma Attack so I don't know if that's.... right. And even if it is, I can't really find good research or resources on managing systematic effects of asthma at this like... non-acute, non life-threatening severity.

Sometimes with weird medical shit like this, there's information that exists if only you can find the right keyword to search.... maybe somebody's got something?

Or even just, it'd be nice to hear if anyone elae deals with this and I'm not, like, completely insane*

*for this. other insanity unspecified.

[whimsyprinx]

I think part of what bothers me about ads on streaming services and youtube (aside from the fact that I don’t think there should be ads on streaming services or youtube, at least nowhere near the amount there is rn) is the lack of variety in them. like with cable you were at least being shown a bunch of different commercials for different things, you’d see a candy commercial, a medicine commercial, a commercial for a new show, something vaguely incomprehensible and yeah it was still annoying because who likes commercials but like with ads on streaming services and youtube you end up seeing the same three or so ads constantly, sometimes they swap one ad out for a different ad you’ll be seeing every time you try to watch something but like, the repetition is getting on my nerves basically

[hikato-chan]

I am in so much pain it is stupid, why are rips like this I hate this.

[genspiel]

my phone's alarms app has a character limit + i don't feel like setting separate reminders for multiple things = i end up with alarms going off that say things like "GLOVES + DEAD GIRLS"

[jeysbvck]

i live under the worst neighbour ever omfg.

like who the fuck sings at the top of their lungs at 4am??? like it legit sounded like he was in my bedroom screaming at me and i ALREADY WEAR EARPLUGS IN BED BC OF HIM

and he knows he's a loud piece of shit bc 9/10 when i bump into him (i literally actively avoid him 99% of the time) he apologises constantly.

i need life to get better so i can move from this hellhole bc i can't take another 3 years of this shit.

[celestialprincesse]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

"No - Char, we already have cheese at home." You huff exasperatedly, trying to prevent your daughter's little fists from going at the babybel in the supermarket fridge for the third time in the two minutes you've been lingering in the dairy produce aisle.

"Red cheese!" She shrieks in protest, one of her hands clinging to the rumpled fabric of your dress, the other practically clawing at the glass of the fridge for her favourite cheese - cheese which you've got an abundance of at home.

Her little shopping trolley, which she insisted on having, overflows with snacks and the few essentials you'd needed to make dinner tonight, but mostly snacks. You'd only realised this morning that your fridge was almost entirely void of any sort of appropriate, adult dinner ingredients - a realisation you're glad happened this morning and not later, seeing as Simon was coming for dinner this evening for a not date but not not a date. Whatever that means.

You're pretty sure he's just trying his best not to freak you out - to ease you into the feelings blossoming in the space between you like a frightened animal. When you'd invited him for dinner? That had been an attempt at showing him that you wanted him, wanted to see his broad shoulders and messy blond hair in your apartment, as opposed to across the hall from it.

Another petulant little yell forces you from your thoughts, only to realise that Charlotte's petulance is actually excitement, something having caught her attention so much that she goes toddling off as fast as her little legs will carry her. "No - Charlotte!" You plead, trying to scoop her up before two massive, tattooed arms beat you to it.

"Easy, tiger." That deliciously rumbly accent soothes both Charlotte's excitement, and the worry roiling in your stomach. His eyes don't so much as relax you, rather melt you completely, until you're sure to be just a fleshy puddle on the linoleum supermarket floors. "Simon." You state dumbly, voice robotic and slightly detached as you take stock of the past few moments of having been on autopilot.

"Fancy seeing you here." He croons, slinging Charlotte to sit on his hip in such an easy manner - unfairly hot. Although, everything he does is unfairly hot. He's unfairly hot.

You're convinced your brain must've melted and dribbled out of your ears in the few steps from the cheese to the butter section of the fridges, because you're so dumbstruck and stupidly confused by his sudden presence (and how utterly fucking sexy he looks caring for you and your daughter with such instinctive ease) that you can't even seem to find your words.

"Charlotte wanted cheese." Is the first, and obviously the most embarrassing thing that comes out of your mouth, and the wry smirk that pulls at his scarred lips has you kicking yourself. Repeatedly. Hard.

"Mm. Course. Gotta get aaall the calcium in to get big and strong, hey Char?" He coos, and you feel as though you might've just died and gone to heaven, because never on earth did you expect, or hope, to see a six foot, semiretired SAS soldier so casually looking after your child as if she were his own.

After a few moments of gawking, and failing to hide said gawking, you reluctantly part ways with Simon, realising that not only do you need to get Charlotte to bed, clean the house, make dinner and get ready - you realise that you need to look good.

And put on fresh bed linen. With absolutely no ulterior motives in mind at all whatsoever. None.

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

[teaboot]

Feels weird leaving an ask, like I’m walking up to a sage on a mountain and asking advice but that sage is likely just some guy in his pj’s eating cheese. Anyway any advice for how to be okay with being perceived? It’s hard to not feel like everything I do whilst in someone eyeline is embarrassing

I'm actually eating Pierogi in the bathtub right now so this is perfect

Okay first off, currently working my way out of the wet paper bag that is Social Anxiety that once had me agoraphobic and melting down on my way to buy groceries, just so you know what you're working with

Care about how you dress, but not in like, a fashion way. Just a "I like how I feel in this shirt" sort of way. And not so much, "I look good in these pants so I will wear them to be perceived Correctly", as, "I feel great in these house slippers and when I feel good I'm confident and when I'm confident I give less of a shit what the haters might think". Wear what feels good. Cut your hair and do your face and nails whatever way feels good. Appearance is secondary to vibes.

Lean into the funny. I waited 10 minutes in line for a coffee order that had already been set out for me this morning, and when the barista noticed, we both had a good laugh. Five years ago that would have killed me. Now I'm glad these poor workers will have a funny story over their bland ass shift. When I was in retail that would have been adorable and hilarious! And so, my goofemup is a gift. I am full of blessings

Get louder and watch as nothing bad happens. Take up more space and watch as nobody yells at you. Wear brighter or skimpier or janglier outfits and bask I the glory that is "Nobody gives a shit except the nice strangers who give me compliments". Marvel at how far you can push the envelope before anyone so much as comments on it. This will free you.

Say yes to terrifying opportunities to be Seen. Karaoke, dance, improv. And if you can't do it sincerely, embody a caricature of yourself. It's terrifying and it sucks eternally and forever and ever and ever like hellfire until suddenly it doesn't. Then have fun.

Be honest. Not unkind, but blunt if you need to. "I'm having a bad time". "This kinda sucks for me". "I know you hate this song but you can deal with these last 30 seconds because I need it to live". Mostly people will think it's a joke but respect it anyway. God bless

Please keep in mind that I am flying by the seat of my pants here and this is just stuff that's worked for me. I am still a nervous disaster crying into the void. Good luck space cowboy

[anachronistic-falsehood]

BREAKDOWN IN THE COOKIE AISLE AT WORK

[successfulgoddess333]

PLEASE READ!

Hey y’all so I’ve been thinking

Lately

If I should post again for y’all but the truth is

You don’t need me

You don’t need any one but yourself

So stop scrolling on tumblr on Reddit on quora on instagram on TikTok whatever the hell you use

You’re not going to make it

If you keep sitting here being lazy and depressed

Okay we get it

Your life sucks

You discovered the void state you discovered manifesting

And yet you’re still continuing to live in a nightmare instead of living in a dream

I’m not coming back I’ve tried to but I realize you don’t US

You don’t

You don’t need tumblr

Stop asking questions stop obsessing

Just lay tf down and meditate

It’s all it takes

Why are you planning???

Why are you stressing??

No DMs

No questions

No Gc’s

No comments asking

“How can I-“

No

Respectfully

Be quiet and realize who tf is in charge here

I’m not here to baby you I’m not here to sugar coat

Sugar coat for what??? Babes I ain’t sugar coating nothing but my damn donuts

Y’all gotta get out of this loop

You’re procrastinating

You’re being lazy

You are

You’re lazy

It’s ok admit it

You fucking like it here don’t you??

You loveeee having a shitty ass life

Because if you didn’t

YOU WOULD GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT BED COUCH ETC AND GO GET YOUR DREAM LIFE

I can’t be nice to people who know they’re power and aren’t using it

It’s like a billionaire being ridiculously cheap

“Oh I don’t want that that’s too much”

“Sir it’s $3”

And you’re a billionaire”

You’re gonna keep scrolling keep wishing you’d look like an ig model

News flash

Helloooo

You can look BETTER than Kylie fucking Jenner

Ok

She got surgery

You got POWER

Even SHE has this power

EVERYONE DOES!

Only a few are aware and that’s why you’re chosen

You’ve beat the fucking system of life

Seriously the insecurity

In this community

And idc if anyone thinks I’m being rude

This is what you need

You need to be yelled at

You need tough love

You need rudeness

I’m doing this outta love

Don’t like it don’t follow

But if you made it this far

Get up and get it

And stop complaining about a life you can change in one second

You can literally get in the void right now

And I hate when ppl say they got “kicked out”

Bitch who kicked out the mf void state? THATS YOU!!!!

You didn’t get kicked out

You just realized where you were and probably got scared or confused and accidentally shifted your awareness back here

Even when you get in the void

It won’t do anything

Unless YOU SAY YOU HAVE YOUR DESIRES

Because you can just stay there

And come out with the same life

The change happens when you

YOU

Say you’re affirmations

Don’t you get it

The void listens to you

If you say something you get it immediately

And who tf said you needed the void to manifest

Bby girl there’s a bagillion methods of manifestation

The void state works yes indeed

But it’s because of you

But don’t getting shocked when you get your desires you knew you were getting it

You can be excited yes

And don’t act like you need a method

Or a special subliminal

Those videos work if you allow them too

Quit giving power to a 10 minute video

These are TOOLS

Guides

They help you like a teacher

Don’t you graduate high school not only because you learned but you applied what you learned

Ok so learn from

These blogs these guides

But stop putting trust in subs

No hate to subliminals

Use them if you want

I use them

But don’t give them power

They are guides

And please

Use this as tough love reminder

I love my followers but please get yo ass up and go get it

[storywriter007]

You'll Remember Me - Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader

summary: in which y/n suffers the consequences of her and percy's tragic tale

warnings: cursing, heartbreak, character death, betrayal

genre: angst

word count: 869

-> heroes of olympus masterlist

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

send me requests here! (these are my guidelines)

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

as y/n killed the monster, she felt herself get cut on the gut. she fell backwards and placed her hand on her stomach. she stood up shakily, lifting her sword. they were in the middle of a battle, she couldn't die now. she tried to swing, but her attempts were weak. she tried to walk, but her feet dragged. she fell to her knees, clutching her stomach. she looked at the cut that had grazed her abdomen, and realized it wasn't from any blade, it was from a poisonous spike on the monster. she'd been poisoned. she desperately searched the perimeter for someone who could help.

she saw her best friend, swinging rapidly and summoning hurricanes.

"percy!" she yelled.

he looked over, concern washing over his face, but he made no attempt to come her way. annabeth ran up and grabbed his arm.

"percy, this place is falling apart! we need to leave, now!" she yelled.

pieces of the ceiling began to fall as flames erupted. percy stayed in his spot. annabeth said something to him. y/n couldn't figure out what it was, but his gaze softened as he nodded his head. the two of them ran towards the exit. y/n laid on her side as the temperature rose. exhaustion took her over.

he had left her. her best friend, for six years, had left her to die. where was his loyalty now, when she needed it?

but y/n understood he had shown his loyalty. just not to her, to his girlfriend. to annabeth. and now she'd die, because his loyalty was her betrayal.

y/n felt blood spew out of her mouth. she was going out the way she had always wanted to, guns blazing in the middle of a fight that made a difference. it wasn't an unsatisfactory death. suddenly, y/n heard a voice.

"y/n!" the familiar voice called out. "don't give up on me!"

somebody desperately tried to drag her out of the burning building. she felt the concrete graze against her skin as the weak force tried to save her. he pulled her out and laid her in front of the broken building. she was barely alive.

"she doesn't have much time left!" he panicked. "c'mon y/n, just give me five minutes, we're going to get you to the ship and everthing's going to be okay!"

she knew the voice. she knew who it was. it was the boy she'd befriended when he was young. she'd practically been his sister. she knew it was nico di'angelo. he had come back for her. she felt another person kneel down by her. she could she his raven black hair and his sea green eyes.

"what the fuck percy!" nico yelled. "how could you do this! it was just the three of you!"

"i had no choice nico!" he defended.

"liar!" he screamed. "you told me the same thing when my sister died! and, now, now, i'm going to lose the only person who has ever cared about me because of you!"

y/n could tell nico was on the verge of tears.

"please, y/n, don't leave me now." percy pleaded.

"i've loved you a long time, percy. ever since you and i went on our first quest when we were eleven." she said, using her remaining energy to give a confession she should've given a long time ago. "it broke me to see you with annabeth. it still does."

"y/n.."

"you'll live a long time, percy. years without me." she continued. "you'll find camp half-blood strangely void, because when you come to find me, i won't be there."

he looked at her with tears in his sea green eyes. oh, those beautiful eyes.

"you'll remember me. when you see the stars, when you look at our photos, when you see friendship bracelets, when you talk to your mother and she'll ask, 'why don't we go visit y/n? she's only a block away.' always, your heart will be yearning for me." she paused. "and your mind will give you the unconvincing comfort that you had no choice." she spat, bitterly.

he kneeled besides her, speechless.

"nico." she said, lifting her hand up to hold his. she felt weak. "i'm sorry you have to see me like this."

tears fell from his eyes.

"but, i want you to know that i believe in you. i have faith in you. i always have, and i always will." she paused, knowing these were her last words. "you are a hero."

she felt her eyes shut.

"y/n!" nico shook her. "y/n!"

she didn't awake, she felt herself drifting.

"you destroy everything that matters to me!" nico screamed at percy. "you're a fucking monster!"

she felt at peace. she felt as if she was above the cruel world of unfair gods and tortured children.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

percy sat next to annabeth in his home. the war was over. the demi-gods had won. but at what cost?

"percy." sally called.

"yeah?" he responded.

"why don't we go visit y/n? she's only a block away." sally asked, placing cookies in a box for the first real friend her son had ever made.

✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒✧.⭒

hope you guys liked it :) just had to remind you guys that i am an angst writer

yes i did reference dangerously yours

[queenie-ofthe-void]

Stuck

~1.5k words || rating: teen || cws: dissociation; unlabeled neurodivergencies and mental illnesses

He’s never quite sure how it happens, seeming to always sneak up on him. One minute he’s up and moving around, usually cleaning, organizing, or just meandering around the house. The next, he’s lying on the floor in the middle of the living room. He tries to move but can’t. Not because he’s physically restrained, like when the rope from the Russians cut into his wrists or how the vines constricted his neck. 

No, Steve’s just lying here on the floor, trapped in his own mind. His eyes are raw, stinging with dryness. Painful tingles pop throughout his right arm from where his head rests heavy on his bicep. His hip and shoulder ache. He can’t move or talk or blink. Can barely think. He’s not in his body. 

He’s lost. Stuck.

Getting stuck means losing time, chunks of days lost to a void. It means missing meals and unanswered phone calls. Growing up, it felt like an escape. A safe way to pass the time between eating and sleeping. He’d come back to himself, sometimes hours later, sore and hungry, mustering up energy he didn’t have. Once, his parents discovered him frozen on the ground. Mom’s yelling and Dad’s foot shoving his side brought him jolting back into his body. Like waking from a nightmare, rising from the dead chased by panic. 

It happens less now, but still catches up to him when he’s exhausted. He thinks today it was the kids– they were particularly obnoxious. Yelling excitedly about Eddie’s new campaign ideas, trucking in snow from outside after building a demo-snowman. Cooking for them, cleaning after them, getting them home safe.

Yeah, he gets how he maybe overdid it a bit. 

But with Eddie here, it’s easier. His sweetheart always knows how to help, usually checking up on him after stressful days. Hopefully he comes to check on him soon.

Because Steve can’t move. Or talk. Or even blink.

The sun is starting to set.

~~~

The Party were extra chaotic today, pushing him to the fringes of patience. He’s thrilled they’re excited about his newest campaign ideas, but god, did they have to be so unbearably loud about it? Dustin’s screeches are still rattling between his ears. Not to mention the soreness he feels from helping the kids build a snowman demo-thing and the ensuing snowball fight. 

The idea of an occult campaign has been percolating in Eddie’s brain for weeks, and after the day he’s had, he’s lost to the research. Perched on a chair upstairs in their bedroom, books are scattered across the desk and onto their bed next to him. Typically, creative deep-dives restore his energy after a long day. But when he’s well and truly exhausted, he’ll lose hours at a time to the work. Getting stuck, according to Steve. And yeah, Eddie can see how that fits.

Growing up, Eddie would lose hours throwing himself into his latest and greatest project, whether it be drawing, playing guitar, writing campaigns, reading or even the time he tried juggling. Entranced by his newest obsession, his surroundings would fade into the background. He’d forget to do his homework, to eat or drink. Hell, sometimes he’d forget to pee. Wayne’d drop a gentle hand to his shoulder– pulling him back to reality– and he’d take off like a shot to the bathroom. Every sensation hitting all at once: bladder about to burst, stomach rumbling, dry mouth, headache, body stiff and achy. 

As he gets older, it’s still a frequent occurrence. So Robin had given him the idea of setting alarms, saying it helps her remember to take breaks while studying. And he’s thankful, because it works like a charm when he actually remembers. But when he forgets, his Stevie takes care of him. 

He’ll find Eddie crouched awkwardly by the desk, eyes manic, only seeing what’s in front of him. Eddie will eat or drink anything Steve gives him, barely tasting whatever it is, just as long as he can see it. And Steve lets him be for at least a few hours so he can burn energy into whatever project he's lost himself in. All Steve cares is that he’s fed and hydrated. Usually, Eddie comes to slowly, with Steve’s fingers gently carding through his hair, or soft strokes up and down his spine.

Now Eddie breaks his own musings, eyes strained, hungry, and needing to stretch. He can’t help but wonder why his sweetheart hasn’t checked on him. 

Moonlight is shining through the window.

~~~

It’s eerily quiet as Eddie makes his way down the stairs. He half expects to find Steve stress-baking, but the kitchen is dark. 

So he checks the garage– the car is still here. And the backyard– he never sits by the pool alone. Then the front porch– maybe he went out for a smoke.

Guilt eats at Eddie as he finds his beautiful boy on the living room floor, curled into himself.

Stuck. 

He hates finding Steve like this– stuck and lost like Eddie’s engrossed fantasies. Yet so, so different. 

The first time Eddie found him, unresponsive and immovable, he spiraled into a panic so strong Steve had broken free of his own melancholy, finding Eddie hyperventilating and sobbing in the midst of a flashback. Too much like Chrissy. Like Patrick and Nancy. 

They'd talked about it. And Eddie had appreciated afterwards how Steve struggled to describe what being stuck feels like, why it happens, what to do about it. It'd helped. 

So on grey days, long nights, the holidays, or when the kids are extra rowdy, Eddie looks for the signs. He's been good about getting Steve to slow down before it's too late. 

But on rare occasions, there will be a day like today. When it’s too much for both of them.

Eddie doesn't know how long his baby’s been lying here. Doesn't know when he ate or drank or even blinked. Because he’d holed himself up, desperate for time alone to just think. To be with himself after spending all day surrounded by people. But he forgot to set an alarm, assuming Steve would be there.

He focuses on his sweetheart, slowly kneeling down next to him so as not to startle him. Remembers all of the tips and tricks Steve needs. 

"Hey honey," Eddie whispers, close enough to be present but not overwhelming. "Don't worry baby we'll get you unstuck I promise. I'm going to reach out and grab your hand now ok?" 

He continues to whisper gentle praises and reassurances as he holds Steve's hand. It's limp for a time, and Eddie is hungry, but he doesn't stop. Time is lost to them both again, until he feels a slight squeeze on his fingers. Steve finally blinks, slow and hard. 

"Hey big boy, love to see those pretty, long eyelashes.” He smiles down at his baby, honeyed hazel eyes slowly refocusing. “Alright, once for no and two for yes: do you want me to help you onto the couch?" 

A full minute passes before Eddie feels two gentle squeezes to his fingers. 

"That's great sweetheart. I'm gonna tilt you to sit up and we'll get you settled. Then I'm going to ask if you want anything. Ready?" Two squeezes.

They finally get to the couch, and Eddie can already feel a strong sense of relief at just seeing his baby move off the floor. He hears Steve's back pop as they stand, decides he'll give him a massage later. 

It goes on. And on and on. Eddie follows the process of squeezes until Steve is unstuck and back in his body. 

"Water?" Two squeezes.

"Food?" One squeeze.

"Blanket?" Two squeezes. 

Eddie's patience always pays off. He's got Steve set up on the couch, hydrated and relaxed, with his favorite movie playing softly. He’s managed to grab a bowl of cereal for himself. They're cuddled and warm with Steve’s head in his lap. Eddie glides his fingers up and down the sore side of Steve’s body, gently squeezing as he goes.

~~~

Steve comes back to himself surrounded by love. 

His eyes sting and his mouth is dry. He doesn't know what time it is, but notices the sun has long set, moonlight shining through the curtains. The bones in his neck crack and his joints pop as he stretches.

But he's warm under the blankets, tucked into his boyfriend's chest as they watch the teddy bear Star Wars. Eddie's loosely twirling the hairs at the nape of his neck, lightly tugging and sending tingles down his spine. There's a glass of water and crackers on the table in front of him. 

Getting stuck inside his head terrifies him, something he dreads as much as the night terrors. 

But with Eddie, it's easier, happens less often. And when it does, he always wakes up to love.

~~

This was a pure self-indulgence fic. An exact recreation of my relationship with my partner. It fits my headcanon for the boys perfectly (though I'm obviously biased haha)

[happy74827]

Emptiness Renewed

[Mike Schmidt x Female!Reader]

Synopsis: You figured all your concerns would go away now that you had the assurance with Mike, but the truth was… they weren’t disappearing. Not until you won and healed the relationship of your old friend, who happened to be his sister. {GIF credits: @owenhcrper}

WC: 2,733

Category: Lime/Steamy, Comfort, Slight Fluff

A lot of you wanted a sequel to “Fill the Void,” so here it is! You don’t have to read the first part, this can be read as a stand-alone, but if you want you can find the first part here

『••✎••』

Your hands found Mike’s waist and held on tight. His mouth was on yours, soft and sweet, his hand at the nape of your neck holding you in place as he kissed you over and over. He was all you could see, taste, and smell, and your whole body tingled with how good it felt. You were lost in the kiss, his mouth making promises of what was to come, and the warmth in your belly was growing.

When he pulled back you were dazed and breathless, and you blinked slowly at him.

He gave you a crooked smile, a rare thing that always made you melt, and his hand slipped down to cup your jaw. "I missed you."

You were still floating, your whole being focused on his hand at your cheek and his lips that you were missing already.

"I missed you too," you managed, and you saw the smile in his eyes before his mouth covered yours again.

He tasted like sweat and coffee, but the way his tongue slipped between your lips, hot and eager, made your whole body sing. Your arms slid up and around his neck, and his fingers tangled in your hair.

The kiss went on and on, the two of you breathing each other in, his arms tightening around you until he was pulling you closer. His skin was damp against your shirt, and his sweaty hair brushed against your face, but you didn’t care. You were lost in Mike's kisses and the way he made you feel, and if he wanted to keep kissing you like this all day, you would let him.

It was hard to believe you had been kissing for five minutes. It felt like hours, like years. The feeling of him pressing you back against the bed as he kissed you, the way your pulse pounded as his mouth explored your throat, his warm body covering yours and his hands exploring your body, made time slip away. It felt like nothing else mattered.

Mike was everything you thought about for weeks, and he was there with you, all yours. You hadn't even managed to get your shoes off yet and you didn't care. You were wearing clothes you didn't even like, but that seemed insignificant compared to what you had in your arms. You didn't want to think about anything else.

Your hands slid under the sweaty shirt clinging to his back, feeling the warm, smooth skin over his back and his muscles flexing under your fingers. His hips rolled against you and your eyes closed at how good it felt. His mouth found yours again, his kiss hard and fast, his tongue dipping inside your mouth. His hands slid under your shirt, fingertips brushing over your skin, making your skin burn.

“Did you have that talk with Abby?” You whispered against his lips, your hands stopping to rest on his shoulders. You knew this wasn't the right time to ask, but it had been bothering you ever since that day in his room.

Mike's eyes flickered open, his dark gaze focused on your face. His hands slid up to cup your cheeks. "It's not really a talk when she just yells at me," he replied, and you had a feeling he was just trying to make you feel better.

"Did she?" You couldn't help but smile.

Mike's gaze shifted from your eyes, down your neck and to your chest, where he rested his forehead against you. You let out a small, nervous laugh, but his silence was starting to worry you. "Mike?"

He gave a small shake of his head. "It's not a big deal."

"Did she give you a time-out?" You joked, trying to lighten the mood, but when Mike's eyes closed, your stomach sank.

You swallowed the lump in your throat, and your hands slid out from under his shirt and into his hair. "Mikey?" You asked softly.

His dark hair was mussed up from your hands and he sighed. He lifted his head to look at you again, and his lips were pulled down into a frown. "She told me she didn't want me to date you," he finally replied, and you felt your chest tighten.

"Why?" Your voice was so quiet, so unsure, and Mike's expression softened. His thumb brushed over your cheek. Not that it was what you wanted to hear, but at least it wasn't the 'I can't be with you' that you were almost expecting.

Mike's gaze flickered away again, as if he were trying to think of what he could say that wouldn't hurt your feelings. He wasn't going to be able to come up with anything.

"She really does just hate me," you said, more to yourself than Mike, and you could feel the tears pricking at the backs of your eyes. You were too scared to look at him, so you just focused on his hair in your hands. You ran your fingers through it, smoothing it out.

Mike shook his head. "She doesn't hate you. I know she doesn’t."

"Yeah, that’s what you said earlier." You pulled your hands from his hair and held them at your chest. "Why else would she say that?"

Mike let out a long breath. He closed his eyes, and his thumb stroked your cheek again.

"I don't know,” he whispered. He was so quiet you almost missed it. “But what I do know is that I’m not listening to her."

“Abby isn’t going to appreciate that.” You knew she wasn't. It wasn't Abby you were worried about though. You were worried about your relationship with Mike. You didn't want it to be ruined because of something that Abby couldn't seem to let go of.

Mike sighed again, and his fingers brushed your jaw as he moved in close. His hand slid behind your head as he pressed his forehead to yours. "I don't care," he whispered.

"Abby-" You tried to argue, but Mike interrupted.

"She’ll come around eventually," he assured you, though he sounded unsure. He brushed his lips over your cheek. "I have faith in you," he whispered against your ear.

“That’s a lot of faith given how she treated me when you left for work. I’m surprised I got out unscathed,” you said with a forced laugh, but you could feel the small smile on his lips against your cheek.

He pulled back, but kept his hands on your cheeks, his gaze moving from your eyes to your lips. "I was worse, remember? I almost ran you over by how agitated and tired I was."

You laughed, but the memory still made you shiver. "That is true."

He leaned in again, brushing his nose against yours. “Who would’ve thought I'd end up falling in love with the girl who made me want to rip out my hair and punch holes in walls?"

Your chest tightened again. "Really? I annoy you that much?"

“Like a mosquito, constantly buzzing around my ear." He whispered. His eyes flickered down to your mouth again, and you swallowed the lump in your throat as your heart began to race. “But somehow I can't bring myself to shoo you away."

"Oh gee, I'm so flattered," you said with a laugh, but Mike didn't join you. Instead, he just smirked.

"I think I might like having you around too much," he whispered, his gaze shifting back to your lips again. You could feel his warm breath on your mouth and you forgot how to breathe.

"Too bad Abby doesn't feel the same," you muttered, but Mike just shook his head.

"She's just being a bit protective." He leaned in again, his mouth brushing against yours. Your whole body tingled as you held your breath, and Mike's hands slid to your jaw. His thumbs stroked your cheeks.

"I don't need her protection," he whispered, his voice a deep, husky growl.

You couldn't stop yourself from smiling. "Is that so?"

"Mhmm." His mouth was on yours, his kiss gentle and warm. His fingers ran through your hair as you leaned into it, melting against him as your heart pounded in your chest. His mouth moved to your jaw, and then down your neck. You tilted your head back, your fingers digging into his hair, your lips parting in a gasp as his teeth teased your skin.

He started kissing you again, and you were so caught up in the kiss that you were caught off guard when his hand slid down your thigh. You were still wearing jeans and your shirt, and Mike's hand was suddenly there, tugging at the fabric of your jeans. Your eyes opened, but all you could see was him, his face hovering over you as his dark eyes looked down at your body.

Your chest was heaving as you stared at him, but his mouth was moving to your neck again, your pulse fluttering under his tongue. You felt his fingers in the waistband of your jeans, then sliding inside, and your eyes rolled back in your head at how good it felt.

“What if I drew her a picture? I know Abby loves art." You thought of how you and Abby would spend hours drawing together on her bed when she was younger, back when she actually appreciated you. You thought of her new obsession with painting and how much she loved it, but the idea of drawing a picture for her lured you.

"That's probably not a bad idea," Mike muttered, his hand stopping its movement inside your jeans. The kisses continued down your neck and chest though, and you couldn't help but smile. You missed Abby, missed how your relationship was before. It was hard, but maybe drawing a picture would be a good way to start.

“I could even do the background of the drawing in bright colors.” You knew she loved colors that popped, pink and purple had been her favorite for a while. Maybe upon glancing at it, she’d realize that you indeed cared.

"It sounds like you want to bust out the crayons now," he teased, his voice soft as his mouth trailed over your collarbone.

You rolled your eyes. "Don’t give me any ideas."

Mike just let out a low chuckle. It didn’t bother you that he was completely right, because you did want to actually color, but it mainly just made you wonder what your relationship would be like if you hadn't lost Abby, if she had been your best friend for so many years and not a bitter stranger who would rather ignore you than speak to you.

It made your chest ache, and Mike's lips on your body helped to take your mind off it, but it still weighed down on your chest.

"What if she doesn’t like it? I don’t think I can handle that type of rejection.” You felt so pathetic saying it, but you couldn't stop yourself.

Mike lifted his head. His dark eyes studied your face for a long time, but then he just gave a small smile. "I think she will."

"How do you know that?" You asked. "What makes you so sure?"

"Because she loves you," he said simply, as if he were telling you the sky was blue or the sun was shining outside. You stared up at him, speechless. "She loves you more than anything, and I know she doesn't hate you. I don't believe it for a second."

Your mouth was dry, and your chest felt tight. "Mike-" You started, but he silenced you by covering your mouth with his. The kiss was hard, passionate, and when he pulled away, your breathing was ragged.

"I think you need to start trusting me, trust my judgment," he whispered, and he started kissing you again, his mouth trailing down your neck. His hand slipped under your shirt, his palm sliding up your belly. Your stomach fluttered, but you couldn't take your mind off how you felt, the way it weighed down on you and made your chest hurt.

"What if she does hate me?" You whispered, your voice cracking. Mike stopped, and he rested his chin on your chest. He lifted his gaze to yours.

"I know her," he said. "And I know you."

"That doesn't always mean something." Your voice was barely audible. You let out a long breath. You were trying to think about how to get her to come back to you, but the thoughts were just jumbling in your head. "I'm worried about what I'm going to do if she still won't talk to me. I don't know what that'll mean for me and you."

Mike sat up. His hand rested on your belly. You looked up at him, and his dark gaze studied your face, his eyes filled with concern.

"You have nothing to worry about, okay?" He whispered, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "Everything's going to be fine."

"Mike," you whispered, but he just shook his head.

"I'm serious. I don't care what she says." He cupped your cheek. "But you need to stop worrying about that."

"I can't." You felt so helpless. "You know I can't."

He gave you a sad smile, his thumb brushing over your cheek. He leaned in again, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "I know."

You reached for his hand, but you could feel it starting to shake. You slipped your fingers into his, your thumb running over the back of his hand as you gazed up at him.

He smiled down at you. "But maybe you should start focusing on us instead." He suggested, giving you a mischievous smirk.

"What do you mean?" You asked, your eyes shifting from his mouth to his eyes again.

"Well, I still have about an hour before my shift. Maybe you can keep my mind off work and I’ll keep yours off of Abby."

“That’s…an idea I like," You whispered, and Mike chuckled. He kissed you again, his mouth hot and needy. You were losing your breath again, and he rolled on top of you. Your body was tingling, and you ran your hands up under his shirt to touch his warm skin.

He wasn’t wrong. For that remaining hour all you could think about was him, and he seemed just as focused on you. It actually eased your mind, and when it was over you felt better.

After Mike left for work again, you immediately got started on your little drawing project. You didn't know why it was so hard to just color something, but you were determined. You kept telling yourself Abby would appreciate the effort, and Mike was right, you just had to believe in him.

When Abby returned from school the following day, you were waiting with a smile on your face. It wasn't much, but it was bright and happy. You couldn't imagine it looked good, but at least it was something.

However, Abby didn’t respond. In fact she didn’t even look at the drawing you handed to her. Her face remained blank as she took it and walked away, her shoes echoing down the hall.

Your whole body deflated, and you sunk into the couch. Great, another failed attempt. You thought about calling Mike, but you didn't want to bother him when he was busy, so you just closed your eyes and laid there for a while, wondering how long it would be until he was back from doing errands.

You left his house saddened and disappointed, and you couldn’t even bother to pick up the phone when Mike had called later that day. You just curled up under the blankets in your bed, feeling even more hopeless than before.

Though, if you had picked up that phone, you wouldn’t have been feeling this way because unbeknownst to you, Mike had gone into Abby’s room for a spare pen and discovered that she hadn't thrown out your drawing.

In fact, it was taped to her mirror, where she could see it every time she looked into her own eyes. Underneath it was a crumpled up piece of paper with a crudely drawn stick figure of Mike and a crudely drawn one of you. Both had little hearts next to their faces.

He was totally going to give you the “I told you so” about Abby come tomorrow, but for the time being he just couldn't help but smile.

This was for you guys:

@raviolisblog

@kxllanxtdoor

@nagicats

@auryyz

Hope it met your standards 🫶✨

[127rkives]

</3 hotline bling || j. jaehyun </3

about? jaehyun misses her, but she’s on to bigger better things. (world’s worst synopsis but it’s the best i got bro) warnings? angst!!! fwb? non idol au. fem reader. mentions of sex, alcohol use, drug use (weed). i think that's all. wc? 1.7k notes? another old repost👹

you used to call me on my cellphone late-night when you need my love

************************************************ 3 months, 1 week, and 4 days. that’s how long it had been since jaehyun last saw you. but, hey, who's counting? if he had been, he would have succumbed to that void feeling in his chest by now. the one created by you but ultimately worsened by his own actions. his own actions ruined the best thing he ever had. but it was your fault too, right? 

if you didn't have such an illuminating smile, such a feather-light yet addicting touch, such an effervescent personality, such a radiant aura, then he the both of you wouldn't be in this situation. no. if you hadn't wanted something more and jaehyun hadn't been too scared of ruining a good thing even though he knew you deserved more—deserved better. he knew you deserved the world and the stars along with it, but he was so afraid he couldn't give it to you. so he cowered behind his thoughts; he dismissed the relationship you had, shutting you out in the process. 

thankfully, you had a mind of your own. you knew better than to remain where you weren't wanted. you knew your worth. that's probably why jaehyun had that constant ache in his chest, that pang in his heart. the void. 

he was expecting you to dismiss the fact that he couldn't come to terms with himself you and continue with the late-night phone calls. sneaking out of the apartment at 1 and 2 in the morning—when he thought everyone was asleep—to spend hours at your place. half naked smoke sessions with deeply thought out conversations lingering in the air with every puff. or hot nights in your room that always seemed to end with clothes scattered here and there, fluffy comforter somehow still clinging to a corner of the bed, and the sheets tangled around only you because he was never there when you woke up. ’he had better, more important things to do.’ you would convince yourself. but when you finally stopped gaslighting yourself with that excuse, you realized he couldn't face his own music.

************************************************ ever since i left the city, yougot a reputation for yourself noweverybody knows and i feel left outgirl, you got me down, you got me stressed out'cause ever since i left the city, youstarted wearing less and goin' out moreglasses of champagne out on the dance floorhangin' with some girls i've never seen before

************************************************ guilt. jealousy. anger. sadness. utter outrage. one of these emotions—possibly even a mixture—was grasping at jaehyun's heart and yanking at the strings right now. even so, he couldn’t stop rewatching the clip on his phone in front of him. it wasn’t like he meant to find you. he just happened to be scrolling through the explore page on instagram and much to his sudden disbelief you were the thumbnail on some video. against his better judgment (of course) he clicks the video, watching you hold a cup of God-knows-what in the air as your body hazily sways in a sea of people inside of what looks to be a club. jaehyun’s face is still one of shock as the girl recording yells something cringey about all of her friends being ‘badies’ and ‘hot girls’ and continues to survey each of her friends, including you, while everyone gets more excited with the new song’s change of pace.

it could’ve been all in his head but that video seemed way longer than the allotted one minute. jaehyun doesn’t know how many times he watches the video before he decides to click on the girl’s profile (a bad decision on behalf of his 2 functioning brain cells). his thumbs seemed to move on their own as he scrolled down her page and searched through countless posts of herself, her with her family, and her with her friends. jaehyun couldn’t pry his eyes from the screen as he clicked on a picture with you in it, hoping you would be tagged. you were, of course, so he clicked. another mistake on his part.

your username and bio were both different. even though jaehyun hadn’t visited your profile in a while, he did remember the main details of it. jaehyun repeated his earlier actions and examined your page this time. there were posts of yourself. you and your dog. you and your family. you and this new group of friends he had never seen until now. you and some man? you and this man hugging, holding hands, kissing, traveling, eating out together? you and jaehyun used to tell each other about everything, and you had certainly never mentioned him before. you people aren’t supposed to move on this fast. hell, jaehyun hadn’t even moved on. he still listened to the playlist you two had created together. he still dreamed about you. he still woke up with the lingering touches of you on his body as if you had been beside him moments before. he still had late-night venting sessions with taeyong as he sniffled and wiped his teary face after genuinely expressing what he was never able to tell you face-to-face.

but, here you were. you had completely evolved from the person jaehyun knew almost 6 months ago. you weren’t the same girl who posted simple photos of herself in cute, comfortable outfits captioned with inspirational quotes, or wholesome reviews of the new greek mythology book you had bought at your favorite, cozy bookstore. this was some girl who had grown to almost a 80,000 followers in just 6 months. this was some girl who posted pointless photos of her newest hermes purse; some girl whose wardrobe would alternate between burberry pantsuits and louboutin heels, to nike tracksuits and air force ones, to what could very well be some bundle of strings fashion nova tries to pass off as a dress. this new girl—this new you—was copacetic, thriving, and glowing. you were happy with this seemingly very outgoing group of people who the old you would’ve never thought about fraternizing with. worst of all, the new you appeared to be enjoying life with some guy that wasn’t jaehyun. jaehyun’s a complete mess without you laying next to him at 2 in the morning and you were supposed to be the same. he was supposed to have the same crippling effect on you as you did on him. 

apparently, jaehyun had been sitting in his whirlwind of thoughts long enough for his phone to lock. he pulled himself out of his trance and made his only decent decision of the day. he went to find taeyong, knowing he would still be awake and available to examine whatever emotional baggage jaehyun had this time. he told taeyong about his earlier revelations (leaving out the part about your apparent love interest). “why don’t you just talk to her? tell her how you actually feel.” weren't the words he expected to hear. he didn't know what to expect, honestly. 

as jaehyun laid in his bed he picked up his phone with shaky hands. when he unlocked it, he felt another tug at his heartstrings, forgetting that his phone had locked on a gorgeous post of your beaming smile while he was in a daze earlier. the time on his phone read 1:46 A.M. he didn't want to call you. you might not pick up. but he wanted an immediate response. jaehyun needed validation right now. he silently prayed that your number hadn't changed along with everything else during your productive time away from him. he opened his messages and clicked on your name; ’y/n💛’. jaehyun smiled to himself as he looked at the last messages sent between the two of you. you had been sending memes back and forth, with the last message before the hiatus being three emojis expressing your laughter. 

jaehyun pondered for a few moments on what to type. ’yo y/n it's me.’ ’hey it's me, jaehyun.’ ’hey y/n we haven't talked in a while.’ he wasted a good twenty minutes overthinking, typing, and erasing potential conversation starters. then he just decided to pour out what was left of his heart. fuck it.

he didn't expect you to reply quickly, but he wanted you to, so jaehyun kept his phone unlocked and open to your messages as he waited. he had peeked two minutes after hitting send, but he didn't notice it then. jaehyun let five more anxious minutes pass before checking again. he almost didn't notice it that time, but somehow he managed to spot it.

the small subscript under his message. ’read’

jaehyun didn't know if it was him being delirious with fatigue or the actual fact of you acknowledging but ignoring him, but his breathing got short and shaky and his tears started to roll. it was finally happening. that void feeling in his chest—in his heart—that place where special memories of you were kept, had finally drawn him in and suffocated him with the realization that you didn't want him anymore, didn’t need him anymore. you no longer needed jaehyun to bring you the pleasures of life. for all he knows now, you never really did.

likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

this work is property of me, 127rkives! no copying, reposting, translating, etc.!