#just here frustrated and tired. which is such a combination of feelings for when you cant sleep

[hauntingblue]

3am is not funny anymore actually I need to wake up early tomorrow

[hadersversion]

yet another drabble about dad!logan because i’m watching the wolverine and love sick over this man!

obviously logan is a girl dad…as we seen many many many times. i can definitely see him wanting a BIG family, once you got him started and he’s seen you pregnant with HIS child? oh, that motherfucker will BECOME a mother fucker. he’s like a rabbit with you, constantly on you.

the one thing i keep picturing is the two of you setting up the nursery together. he obviously did the heavy lifting and painting, which cause a fight between the two of you constantly. “im pregnant, lo. i can do somethings, ya know?” “i know, bub, why don’t ya set up the library while i finish putting the dresser together?” it’s all about compromise…in some way? but the two of you spend hours in there together, trying your hardest not to lose your mind over ikea’s confusing directions and the missing screw that fell somewhere in the room. logan is trying not to lose his cool in front of you, mumbling under his breathe. but you know once you leave the room, he shouts swears and knocks the boxes over. it makes you laugh as you grab waters in the kitchen. but once the nursery is done, you two are so exhausted you fall asleep on the floor using the baby’s new pillows. though it was sort of uncomfortable, you two felt content knowing that the room was done and your baby would be here soon.

but your first kid is a girl, his heart swells when he sees you holding this perfect bundle of joy that’s a perfect combination of the two of you. but you swear a tear leaves his eye when that beautiful baby girl opens her eyes and they look exactly like yours…logan never had a favorite color before until he looked into your eyes. and now he gets to see it even more through your daughter. you knew logan was protective over you, that was a given. especially since you were pregnant but once the second his daughter came into the world, you could’ve swore he took over the role of mama bear. he would hover over ANYONE that touched them, made sure they washed and sanitized their hands multiple times, he would even ask people if they were feeling sick before they even entered the room. you had to convince him people didn’t need to wear a mask and gloves in the hospital room. but once the team met baby wolvie, he felt at ease. a little prideful showing off your guys’ daughter, actually showing off his smile to show just how happy he is.

he’s definitely going 10 mph on the drive home, cursing under his breathe at people beeping and swerving around him, not wanting to yell in front of the baby. “logan, you can speed up a little bit. she’s not going to fly out of her car seat.” “stop being a backseat driver, would ya hun? i got this.” “whatever you say old man.”

the first night was obviously tough with the baby crying and making a fuss over everything. you cried, logan held you, you both were frustrated and upset. it was tough, you knew it wasn’t easy but holy hell this was shit. but you had that support system, the man you loved helping and comforting you. but once that sweet baby girl settled in your arms and finally slept longer for an hour, you both gave each other a tired smile as he kissed your head. “you’re glowing, mama. absolutely gorgeous.” “shut up, i know i look like shit.” “shut the hell up, why would you say that?” “because you look like shit, papa.” you both laugh and pass out on the couch, receiving the best sleep ever in each others arms. until the baby monitor goes off less than two hours later.

🎀🦢💓kaila🎀🦢💓

[goldsbitch]

Our wedding

Y/N and Lando probably went a little too overboard when planning their wedding. She finally looses it when his friend suggests a product placement bucket hat.

A dream wedding.

Distant palazzo, with acres of private lands to roam around at night. Lavish dress, designed to fit perfectly and re-done three times. Coordinators, who made sure everyone who needed to be invited actually was. And also took care about almost anything one can imagine.

A perfect wedding, that's what they both wanted. Go big or go home. Combining romance, with generously giving everyone they loved, or deemed important, the time of their life. To say that this event was supposed to be extra would be an understatement.

Lando said yes to all of Y/N's wished regarding flower arrangements, menu items and rooming lists. She said yes to all of this ideas about the music, sound systems set up in each part of the venue (because heaven would turn upside down if there had been one quiet spot with no music, according to Lando) and drinks choices. They could not agree on the photographer - so Lando just booked his, and hers option as well. Saving money was not on the table. He knew that the amount of good PR and brand deals the Quadrant team managed to get together was going to pay out in the long run. Everyone loves a wedding.

That's where the first issues started - the amount of people invited grew into higher hundreds. She voiced her point few times, but Lando quickly shut those off with a promise to book a private charter for all friends and family who were coming from her homeland. She caved in and agreed to just few more CEO's she'd never met, as long as they did not share their table.

It was the final two months before the wedding and things could not be more hectic. They had to plan the wedding around Lando's race schedule, so summer break between races it was. Y/N had to juggle her job with all of this planning, so she attended less races than she usually would. Most of the calls she shared with Lando were wedding related and it seemed like his best friend Max took it upon himself to speak on behalf of Lando - so sometimes it felt like she was marrying Max rather than her fiancé. After a total break down she had few days ago, which resulted in her crying on the phone to Lando at 4 am his local time, they agreed she absolutely had to come over to the next race so that they could find some down time.

//

Having to endure a tiring overnight flight, she finally stepped into the hotel where Lando was staying at. Exhausted, jet-lagged and generally in a bad mood were the main ingredients in the perfect cocktail of "you should just avoid me" Y/N. She finally opened the door to his room and let out a groan. Traveling to see him used to be her favorite thing. A bombastic cherry on top was that she immediately recognized Max's voice coming from the living room. Was this guy staying in the same room as them now?

"Y/N, is that you?" she heard, desperately hoping he hadn't heard her enter in. She felt like a bitch for wishing that, but he was the last person she wanted to see at that point. Her hopes of jumping in the bed and cuddling Lando the first thing coming here dissolved like cotton candy, leaving tooth aches behind.

"Yes, Max, it's me," she said, not even bothering adjusting her tone to something more socially appropriate.

"Great, just on time. Can you come in here? We have some decisions that are becoming pressing matters," he said dryly and added his own frustrated comment quietly "...since someone does not feel like answering emails." She heard that, bit her lip and swallowed all her comments, otherwise she would explode.

"What's up?" she asked, entering the living space. There were dozens of baseball caps and buckets hats laid down on the coffee table with Max and some random young guy towering over them.

"We need you to pick out one of these which you'll be wearing after the reception. I have a great brand deal on the table which I need to close today. So, go ahead - pick one." She could not believe the words coming out of Max's mouth. Was he for real?

"May I ask when did I agree to wearing a baseball cap with my dress right after my wedding?"

Max glanced at her and then rolled his eyes. "Can you just pick one? Lando is on board with this, he'll be wearing this green one," he pointed to objectively very nice stylish item of clothing - but still, it was a bucket hat. Rage levels shot up in Y/N blood steam.

"Max, I'm suppose to be wearing my wedding dress until the evening, that's also in some deal you guys made," she proclaimed, hoping this would finally make him get some sense. "The dress is very classical, I don't think this would fit the vibe."

"Oh, come, we agreed to sticking to the Quadrant Athletes color palette and all of these check that. We want to break the classical vibe up with this."

"I'm sorry, who exactly is we in this scenario? And who the fuck are you?!" she pointed at the guy standing next to Max.

"I'm...I'm the product placement controller," he said in a shy voice.

Her eyes just went wide at that point.

"Y/N, no need to freak out again, you need to create a viral moment to make the brand grow," Max said, as if he was talking about a new merch launch.

And that was the final straw. "I'm getting sick of you guys making my wedding into a Quadrant PR stunt. You need to realize this is my wedding, not yours! The whole event is already dripping with brand deals and promotions, is there nothing out of line to you? Will my mom also have to wear one of these hats? Will force the officiant to wear sneakers? Where will you stop?"

Max stared at her, his own cup finally also full. But unlike her, he spoke calmly - again, giving strong business vibes. "Oh, I'm sorry - I'm sorry I am pulling heaven and Earth to make sure your wedding does not ruin your future husband! I apologize that I seem to be more stressed about this wedding than you are. Sorry for caring and trying to uphold some standard."

"Max, this is all too much! I feel like I'm suffocating," she tried to reason with him once more.

He just had enough at that point. So many little moments of mutual disagreement finally grew on him.

"Yeah, well maybe you're just not suited for this world."

Before she could even take a breath to respond, a familiar voice cut them both off.

"Guys, that's enough I'd say," Lando said as he slowly stepped out the same corridor Y/N had entered moments ago. Both Max and Y/N turned around, knowing they'd have spoken way differently had they known he was there as well.

Max gulped, knowing he stepped over a line and immediately started to apologize. "Mate, I'm sorry, we just sort of lost it. I'm sorry."

Lando glanced at him, his face suddenly hard to read for both his friend and his fiancée. He quickly flashed Y/N a look, seeing the obvious distress finally on his own, in a way the camera on a phone just does not capture. It pained him to see them two fighting, but it pained him more to see her on the verge of crying.

She couldn't find words to apologize to Max. In fact she could barely even see him, as Lando took all of her attention.

"Can you guys leave us for now? I think we need to talk alone," Lando said in a tone so serious that Max hardly remembered last time he'd heard it.

"Yeah, mate. Of course," he said shyly, gesturing to his companion to quickly exit with him.

Once the door finally clicked, Y/N felt like she could get out of her frozen state.

"My god. Lando, I knew it would be a challenge these few months, but I did not expect to grow so far away from you," she said, as the words flew out of her mouth without her being able to control it.

He was more careful with his words, but brave nevertheless. "It's true. I don't think we've even been so distant."

Him acknowledging it just made it real and hurt more.

"Right. At least we have that in common."

There was an awkward silence, something these two hadn't experienced in months.

"Why is Max involved so much?" she asked, hoping that she would not hear anything that would make her biggest fear come true - Lando's lack of desire to marry her.

He took a moment to get his point in the right order. "He's my best friend. This is our wedding. I can't stop focusing on racing, but I want it to be perfect. I'd say not giving him any credit sometimes."

Of course, he was defending him. She wondered if he defended her in front of Max sometimes.

All card on the table. She gulped before uttering the next sentence. "I'm scared that I don't want to go to my own wedding anymore. I feel like an unwanted guest."

They shared a look full of hidden pain. It was impossible to tell, but Lando was scared as never before. "What are you saying...Do you want to call it of??"

She looked back at him, praying that he would understand. "God no, that's the last thing I want to do," she sighed and put her head in her hands. How did it got to a place where he could even assume that? "Marrying you, the love of my life, is my dream. In fact, I'd just like to jump to the moment where I can finally say yes to you."

The air still felt really heavy. "Then let's do just that."

"What do you mean?"

Lando took few steps closer to her, missing her close proximity for the past few weeks. He desperately needed to fix them. "Let's book a wedding for next week in Monaco, just you me and any other people required by the law."

The idea of that seemed silly at first. But the more she thought about it, the more she craved that idea. "So, you want to call the actual wedding off?"

Lando chuckled at the image of them cancelling that at last minute and all the hustle that would bring. "No, silly, not unless you really want to. But who says we can't have a fake ceremony there, celebrate with everyone, while already being married at that point? We don't need to tell anyone, keep the magic for them. We can have two weddings."

It was her time to laugh now. "So because we find organizing one wedding hard, we're going to be doing two now?"

"We are anything but conventional. And if this is news for you then, well...That would mean I'm marrying the queen of delulu. Twice."

The weight of the past weeks was lifted.

"Does this mean I can say "No." at the big wedding?" she teased him, closing the distance between them and holding his hand.

"Not if I'll say "No." first," he winked and quickly gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm not wearing a bucket hat. Just stating that now."

"Oh come, at least one of our weddings," he said as he ruffled her hair. "Wow, I think you need a post airport shower, my love."

"Do not try and change the topic - no bucket hats!" she mumbles as she tried to fix her hair.

"Fine, I'll just get you drunk. You'll wear a bucket hat at one of our weddings one way or another."

It felt so good to just banter with him, like they always did before they got caught up in all the stress. A shot of guilt went through her system, as she flashed back at the whole process so far.

"I should probably apologize to Max," she uttered, avoiding his eye contact once again.

He finally hugged her. "Yeah probably. But...let him rot in his feelings for a moment. I hate when someone makes you upset. Apart from me, of course."

"What makes me upset right now is the alarming amount clothes you're wearing."

"That's my girl!"

//

They got legally married the following weekend, Lando bribing anyone he could in order for them to skip few spots that were unavailable. The first wedding was secret and full of inappropriate, but honest kisses. The second one was fake, but they slayed it together, as newly married couple. Without the stress of actually getting married, they really enjoyed their wedding. The little secret stayed with them - and Max of course, because he just had to get involved with everything.

[joostsblog]

heyy i was wondering if you could write an angst to comfort joost fic where the reader is just like exhausted from everything and goes nonverbal bc theyre so tired and just frustrated and exhausted and joost gets worried when he hadnt heard from them in awhile so he goes to their house they break down in tears and he just comforts them?

Thanks for the request, I saw the opportunity to combine this request with another, I hope you don't mind! Here's the other request:

I hope the description of living with chronic pain is somewhat accurate 🫶🫶

cold tea ~ Joost Klein one shot

My masterlist here ✨💌

Pairing: Joost Klein x reader (with chronic pain)

Description: During a particular bad episode of chronic pain, Joost is worried about you and checks up on you as he hadn't heard from you in a while.

Word Count: 0.7k

A/N: Again, I hope the both of you don't mind that I combined these requests💌 requests still open although I can't promise too many as I'll be on vacation the next two weeks ☀️ if you liked it, you can show your support by leaving a reblog 🫶

Warnings: not proofread

You were curled up in bed, cuddling your teddy bear, eyes tightly shut as you tried everything in you to forget about the pain throughout your body. This week had been a series of really bad days for your chronic pain, barely getting any sleep at night and not being able to turn up to work. Your body was so tired you knew the only thing it wanted to do right now was just to fall asleep but the pain within it made it impossible. On top of that, you felt guilty for ignoring your boyfriend Joost. There were dozens of worried unanswered texts from him on your phone accompanied by ignored phone calls. But for the past few days, the pain and the mental load that came along with it was so bad that you couldn't muster up much strength to text him back.

You had only started dating a few weeks ago which meant that Joost didn't know much about your issues with chronic pain. You were worried that Joost would think that you were purposefully ignoring him because you wanted to break things off him with - which couldn't be further from the truth. You were head over heels for the sweet boy. You wanted to spend every waking moment with him, curled up in his arms, laughing and giggling with him.

He's probably angry with me for not answering, you thought to yourself.

The shrill sound of the doorbell shattered through your head. You sighed as you knew you had to get up. You had ordered some takeout since you didn't feel like cooking but you knew you had to feed your body. With a wince, you slowly sat up straight and made your way to the door. Your heart might as well have briefly stopped beating as you saw Joost stand outside your door.

"(Y/N)?" Joost asked timidly, a concerned look on his face. "Is everything alright?"

You wanted to speak but couldn't bring your mouth to form any words. Too exhausted but also too embarrassed to speak. Instead, your throat just felt dry and you could feel tears welling up in your eyes.

"Oh, (Y/N)," Joost whispered with a frown as he saw your tears. "Do you- can I-," you could tell that Joost didn't quite know what to do. So you just opened the door wider indicating for him to come in. "Can I hug you?" Joost asked softly as he stepped into your flat and you nodded. Joost very softly wrapped his arms around your body, very careful not to hurt you in any way. "Is it the pain?" he asked and you nodded against his chest. "Let me take care of you," Joost whispered against your hair as he pressed a soft kiss against your head. He led you back to your bedroom and softly tucked you in under the covers. "Be right back."

A few minutes later he appeared again with a cup of tea which he placed on the nightstand and got in bed next to you. Joost opened his arms and you nodded and he scooted closer to you and wrapped his arms around you carefully. For the first time in days, you could feel your body slowly relaxing. Joost started humming a soft melody and you could feel the exhaustion taking over your body slowly lulling you to sleep.

~

When you awoke, your head rested on Joost's lap, his hand softly caressing your head. He was reading an article on his phone and your heart fluttered as you caught a glimpse of the title: How to support a loved one with chronic pain.

Joost could feel you shift so he set down his phone and checked on you.

"Oh, you're awake," he smiled. "Your food came," he updated you. "And your tea went cold."

"Ice tea," you mumbled with a weak smile and Joost's eyes went wide with joy at finally hearing your voice again. Your body still felt sore but you were thankful that you were able to get at least a little bit of sleep.

"You're hungry?" Joost asked and you nodded. "I'll be right back," he said and got up before leaning down to you again to press a gentle kiss on your forehead. You smiled.

Your worries about Joost not being understanding or not having patience were completely forgotten. Instead, you felt cared for and loved by him. You smiled at him as he entered the room with the Thai curry you had ordered.

"Thank you," you said, your voice still slightly straining. "I love you."

Joost smiled fondly at you before he pressed another kiss to your head.

"I love you too, liefde."

[spencerrsmopbucket]

When It Rains, It Pours | Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader Summary: After a frustrating and long case, Spencer walks you home from a late night of paperwork. To your luck, it starts pouring. But are you really so unlucky? Word Count: 3,065.

Normally, you had nothing but good things to say about your line of work. You loved it, in all honesty. You loved helping people, you were interested in the inner workings of people's minds, and you enjoyed the fast paced energy of the job. Even more, you loved your co-workers. They were your best friends. But sometimes.. Work got frustrating.

You hated when things were slow. You hated when you couldn't figure things out. You hated when you felt time slipping through your fingers, feeling helpless. And this last week had been all of that combined. You'd been in Maine on a case; the most frustrating case you'd ever been on. It was a week long, spent mostly in offices staring at information you'd already read fifteen times. And when you finally got into the action, you had to go hand to hand with some greasy farm hand with no backup.

You'd even been spit on by the Unsub. And even worse? It got in your mouth! And now, you sat in the bullpen at your desk, filling out piles of goddamn paperwork.

You were almost sure you were going to go crazy. It was eerily silent in the bullpen, besides the slight noise of Spencer Reid, your colleague and friend, beside you. You were so bored that you began to study him.

Every so often, he'd make a slight hum or a 'tsk' at something on a file. For someone that could read 20,000 words a minute, he worked quite slow. But at least he was thorough. You couldn't lie; he wasn't the worst person to spend time looking at. In fact, Spencer was rather cute, though you'd never admit it to anyone.

You were attracted to his mind, before anything else. He was so incredibly smart, so much that it made you swoon. And he was playfully dorky. And witty. His wit went hand to hand with his humor. And after his mind, he was physically attractive. He had dark, curly hair and pretty brown eyes, combining well with his gorgeous smile and straight teeth. He dressed clean, in a dress shirt usually paired with a sweater or a vest. Sometimes, to your delight, he rolled his sleeves up to the creases of his elbows, showing off his strong forearms. And he--

Stop, you reminded yourself. You were supposed to be working.

To put it lightly, you had a massive crush on Spencer. It was something you battled with daily. You had to keep your swooning under wraps.

To interrupt your secret thoughts, Spencer cleared his throat, looking at you curiously.

"You okay?" He asked softly, noting how you'd zoned out. "If you’re zoning out, it’s actually your brain’s way of conserving energy. It shifts into a sort of default mode, which is why you might find yourself lost in thought. Studies show that the brain is almost as active during these periods as it is when you’re focused—just on different things." He explained, a half smile on his face.

You coughed, clearing your throat. Of course he'd noticed -- Spencer notices everything. It was just a bit awkward that he had noticed while you were thinking about him.

"Yeah." You smiled back, looking back down at the file you had been working on. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."

Spencer lets out a hum of acknowledgement, quickly reading something over on his own files before answering. "I understand. I'm tired too. I didn't expect to have so much paperwork for such a.. A lackluster case." He lets out a breathless chuckle.

You snort, leaning back in your chair.

"Me either. And of course we'd be the ones stuck here doing it."

Spencer shrugs, a half smile on his face.

"Better us than Hotch, I suppose. He'd be grumpy in the morning and we'd be paying for it."

Spencer was speaking the truth -- late night paperwork was Hotch's biggest downfall. It was becoming a thing for your colleagues and yourself not to even entertain the idea of letting Hotch do it. If he didn't, he'd have no reason to be so brooding in the mornings.

You and Spencer continued working in silence for a while, the rhythmic sound of typing filling the air and the quiet scratching of a pen. As the hour dragged on, the room grew quieter, the only noise coming from the occasional rustle of paper or Spencer’s soft hums of concentration. Eventually, you looked up at the clock: it was nearing midnight.

You groan, rubbing your temples. Being out this late sucked for you. You always woke up with a headache and wanting to throw yourself back under the covers; you weren't really a morning person to begin with.

Picking up your noise of frustration, Spencer glanced up at the time himself. He winced, and then his expression softened into one of thoughtfulness.

"It's getting pretty late," He said softly, glancing at you. "I know you don't live far, but.. I know you don't love the route so much. I could walk you if you like." He offers, a soft smile on his lips.

You could've actually swooned and dropped dead. You would've died happy. But you felt that it would be an inconvenience for Spencer to do this; he walked too, but his apartment was the opposite direction of yours.

You smiled back, a small blush spreading across your cheeks. You cursed yourself, but turned to answer Spencer.

"Um.. That's okay, Spence. You live the other way and I don't want to keep you out any later than you have to be."

Spencer pursed his lips.

"Actually, it’s no trouble at all. I know it’s a bit of a detour for me, but it’s more important to me that you get home safely with decreased anxiety," he says, offering you a soft smile. "Plus, it’s a nice break from paperwork, and I could use some fresh air myself. Consider it a small favor from a friend."

You inhaled to speak again, furrowing your eyebrows.

"Spen--"

"Name. Let me walk you home. Please?" He persisted, looking at you softly. "It would make me feel better. It's midnight and walking home alone in the dark can be risky."

You exhaled, nodding.

"Okay. Yeah, it would be great actually. Thank you."

He gave you a small smile, and you both gathered your things. As you walked out of the bullpen and into the night, the crisp air felt refreshing after hours of being cooped up inside. The streetlights cast long shadows, and the city was unusually quiet.

You walked in a comfortable silence. Spencer was right; you hated walking this route at night, in the dark. Despite being a federal agent, after hours, you didn't love the idea of being alone in situations like this. Surprisingly, you weren't even judged for it. It seemed that a lot of the team had the same hesitations with certain things.

You felt even better with how Spencer had positioned the two of you. He was doing something called the "sidewalk rule," usually typical of couples. He walked on the outside of the sidewalk, shielding you from the street and anybody on it, including the cars passing by. You were on the inside; the scariest thing you came into contact with were untrimmed hedges on apartment lawns.

Your position threatened to make you blush, but you somehow kept it down. You felt like a schoolgirl; it was like everything Spencer did made you want to kick your feet.

You and Spencer chatted casually eventually, the conversation drifting from case details to your mutual love of old detective novels. The night seemed to be winding down peacefully until dark clouds began rolling in, and a sudden crack of thunder startled you both.

“Looks like we’re in for some rain,” Spencer observed, his tone almost scientific, as if he were analyzing a weather pattern. Just as he finished speaking, the first heavy drops began to fall. You cursed under your breath, eyeing the dark clouds above you, the difference in color between the black sky and gray clouds.

"Damnit. I'm sorry, Spence.. I shouldn't have had you walk m--"

Spencer snorted, nudging you.

"Name. You have no reason to apologize unless you can see the future or make it rain. It's fine. It's just water." He said matter-of-factly.

It was as if your acknowledgement of the rain made it come down harder. Soon, it was pouring.

You both quickened your pace, but it was too late. The rain poured down, soaking you both within seconds. You laughed, the sound mingling with the patter of rain. Spencer looked over, his hair plastered to his forehead, and grinned back at you, clearly enjoying the unexpected adventure. Even in the horrible rain, he looked so attractive. The water traveled in drops down his face, the humored grin on his face shining in the street light.

“Let’s find some cover,” he suggested, his voice barely audible over the rain. He took your hand, rain making his grip slippery as he led you towards a nearby gazebo in the park, its structure providing a welcome respite from the downpour.

You blushed at the grip of his hand on yours, heat contrasting the coldness of the rain pouring around you.

Once inside, you both shook off as much water as you could, though you were still dripping wet. His hand left yours, almost making you shiver at the loss of his body heat. You couldn't help but feel disappointed. The rain continued to fall heavily outside, creating a soothing, rhythmic noise on the gazebo’s roof. The cool, damp air and the close proximity made the situation feel oddly intimate.

Your clothes were plastered to your body, soaked and dripping onto the wooden floor of the gazebo. You looked outside of the gazebo at the sky. It was covered with clouds, an occasional bright flash of lightning exposing them to you. You bit your lip, frowning.

Turning to Spencer, you found him already looking at you.

"Spence, I'm--"

He interrupted you, a small smile on his face.

"Don't apologize. This is kind of nice, in a way," Spencer said, shrugging. "You know, the rain, the quiet. It’s… peaceful. After a week of dealing with such grim things."

Spencer’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a silence that spoke volumes. You could see the soft glow of the streetlights filtering through the rain-soaked air, casting a warm light on his face. He was so pretty this way, you thought. His curls dripped water and his warm brown eyes were just as expressive as usual.

Realizing your silence and your staring, you cleared your throat to speak. A blush spread across your cheeks yet again.

“Yeah, it is. Thank you for walking me home. Or trying, at least. I really appreciate it.” You mumbled, looking up at him.

A flash of something crossed his face, but you couldn't quite catch what it was. Spencer could sometimes be a difficult person to read. Probably because he was so different.

To your slight shock, Spencer’s gaze softened, and he took a step closer, his usually awkward demeanor replaced with something more confident, more vulnerable. “I’m glad I could. I’ve been wanting to spend more time with you outside of work. It’s nice to see you like this, just… relaxed.”

His words caught you off guard. Your face immediately resumed the blush you'd tried so hard to fight off; Spencer was unintentionally trying to kill you. But a flutter of hope and excitement spread through your chest, though you were sure he didn't mean it the way you wanted to perceive it.

The air between you and Spencer felt thick with unspoken words and unacknowledged feelings. The rain outside created a serene backdrop, making the moment feel softer. More approachable. You took a deep breath, trying to calm the stutter of nerves in your chest. It felt like this was an opportunity to finally be honest, to stop crippling yourself by stuffing everything Spencer made you feel inside.

"Spencer.." you began, your voice trembling slightly. "I’ve really enjoyed spending time with you tonight, even if it was under these… circumstances."

A beat passed. You almost began to regret what you'd said, hoping it didn't reveal too much, so that you could reword yourself if he didn't feel the same way about things.

Spencer’s gaze softened, his own nervousness evident in the way he avoided eye contact. Finally, he spoke. "I’m glad you feel that way," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I’ve been wanting to… well, I’ve been wanting to get closer to you, but I didn’t know how to say it."

You felt your heart stutter, a mix of hope and apprehension swelling in your chest. Closer? He wanted to get closer?

"Closer.. What do you mean?" you asked, your voice almost too quiet to hear over the rain.

Spencer hesitated, his hand reaching out slowly to gently touch your arm. The touch was light, almost as if he were afraid to impose. You almost would've thought an alien had taken over his body; Spencer was usually so avoidant of touch, a germaphobe and far too awkward for it. His eyes were soft, shyly looking at you in the hazy darkness.

"Like… this," he said, his fingers brushing against your skin. "I didn’t want to make things awkward or anything, but I’ve felt something more between us for a while. I just didn’t know how to… express it."

You couldn't believe it. If you weren't trained to keep things inside to avoid being exposed (FBI agent things), you would've squealed. You'd never dreamed that in a million years Spencer would be having this conversation with you, let alone touching you without being held at gun point to do so.

You looked up at him, your cheeks flushing as you felt the warmth of his fingers tracing your arm softly. "I’ve been feeling the same way, Spencer. I just didn’t know if you… if you felt the same." You admitted, exhaling shakily.

He nodded, a shy smile tugging at his lips. "I do. I really do. But I didn’t want to rush things or make you uncomfortable," He explained, his fingers tracing slow, lazy shapes on your upper arm, hesitantly like he expected you to pull away. "And I was, uh, a little bit.. Afraid, honestly. Scared of rejection."

You smiled back, feeling a rush of warmth on your face despite the chill of the rain. "I appreciate that. And I’m glad you told me. I’ve been wanting to… to get closer to you too. I just didn’t know how to start." You reply, struggling not to lean into his body, to receive more of his touch. "And if it's any consolation, I've been terrified to make any indication of.. this." You snort.

He chuckles, his touch spreading further across your arm. His full palm now rubbed up and down your bicep, spreading its warmth. The touch was innocent and soft.

Spencer’s eyes met yours, and for a moment, there was a gentle silence between you. Then, in a classic Spencer move, he spoke up again, his tone almost matter-of-fact. "Did you know that according to studies, sharing physical closeness with someone you care about can actually lower stress levels? The brain releases oxytocin, which reduces anxiety and creates a feeling of safety and comfort."

You blinked, caught off guard by his unexpected fact, and then chuckled softly. You knew better than to be shocked. This was Spencer. "That’s… actually really comforting."

Spencer’s smile widened sheepishly, still looking a bit shy. "I thought it might be relevant. So, um, if you’re okay with it, I’d really like to be closer to you, both physically and emotionally." He admits, a soft look in his pretty brown eyes.

Your feet moved before you could really register what you were doing. The rain created a soothing rhythm around you, seeing to match the stuttering beat of your heart inside your chest. The air was thick but cool, almost difficult to inhale. Bringing yourself even closer to him than you were seconds ago, you slid your hand over his, the warmth just as heavenly as it was when you'd first been running to the gazebo.

You felt Spencer's hand squeeze yours, a silent reassurance, though hesitant. Looking up at him, you met his eyes. God, you loved his eyes. They were so pretty. Soft, warm, comforting. Now, they were so much more telling than usual, as if he'd let you in. They showed fondness.

You stilled immediately, feeling him lean towards you. Your brain struggled against your heart; it told you to stay still, but your heart told you to lean forward to meet him.

Before you could make your choice, he was too close. Your face burned as he captured your lips in a soft, shy kiss. It was delicate, as if it was his first time ever kissing someone. You paused for a moment, realizing slowly what was happening, but then leaned into him; your dreams were coming true.

You pressed yourself closer to him, inhaling. He smelled like clean laundry and something light and fresh, a subtle aftershave or just one spritz of cologne. His lips tasted like coffee. He parted them slightly, deepening the kiss; the move was hesitant, but heavier than the softness from before. His hand slid from yours to your waist, gently pulling you tighter into him, as if giving you the choice to step away if you wanted to. Nothing about kissing Spencer was forceful; he was gentle, hesitant, as if every move he made was a silent question. It was a sweet, hesitant gesture, as if he were afraid to impose but hopeful that you’d respond positively.

When you finally pulled away from each other, you were slightly breathless, faces flushed with shyness and glowing with excitement.

Spencer looked at you with a hopeful expression. "Was that okay?" he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

You felt like you were going to explode. You were so happy, probably happier than you'd ever been in your life. Nodding, you smiled widely at Spencer, a breathless giggle falling from your lips.

"Yes. Absolutely."

Spencer’s smile widened, though he still looked a bit shy. "I’m really glad. I'm.. I'm not exactly the best with things like that," he explained, his hand still resting gently on your waist, warmth traveling through your cold, soaked clothes to your skin. "But I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know that I.. I feel that way."

You soften, reaching up to push his soaked curls from his face. He leaned into the gesture.

"I feel that way too."

"We feel that way together. We're.. We're together."

[thatfrailsoul]

– It's okay to let it go now

tarot pick a pile reading ( → 1, 2, 3 )

It is so difficult, so simply frustrating, to feel once again that ending coming near. To be aware of the fact that, once again, everything you did was not closely enough to make it work... But while you do feel the anger and anxiety creeping in... You also feel deep down the pure relief, because perhaps you might have finally the possibility to stop sacrificing yourself, your energy, so much... It makes you confused, about what you truly want and especially what is the right thing to do, if it is really okay to give up and let it go...

So here you can find a little message for you. For you who did so much. And that needs to remind your own self a truth that you, so overwhelmed, are risking now to forget.♡

Slow down for a moment. Breathe. Listen to your heart, to its rhythm. Allow it to speak to you. And choose the image that seems so familiar, calling so strongly your heart.

Remembering that, whatever the message might be, you are free to listen to it or to let go. Without the need to make it fit. Because your true answer will always find you, the moment you will be really ready and will have the need.

_

_

– Pile One,

the six of wands, the tower, the two of wands

The Awakening, Eugene De Blaas

You just arrived here. Here where for so long you wanted to be. It is only the beginning, it is all really starting just now, but... It already feels like an eternity. All the obstacles you overcame, all the challenges you faced to be here. All the times you pushed yourself further even when you didn't have anymore any strength. It's only the beginning of this journey, but you feel already drained, already tired. You feel already frustrated at the idea of needing to keep on doing it tomorrow, perhaps even more, and who knows for how long.

But you can't really think about giving up... can you? Can you really have the dearness to take this decision back, returning to where you were before? Can you really have the courage to say it out loud, that this prologue, this preparation for the journey you chose, already consumed you so much?

You are frenetically buying time. Lingering here, not really doing that step that will sign this beginning, the one that you earned and worked for so much. All because you can't help but feel and wander about what's behind you, in the space and time that is before this choice that you are forcing yourself to do. Where there are no limits, no struggles, no fears. The space where all the challenges of this journey won't arrive to you, because you will comeback to the start again. Where you can choose differently, try other things, go in a different direction. That liberty that is so close, just a one decision away... But at the same time so distant because of all the things that you already endured for this journey instead.

You can't decide. No matter how you look at it. You can't understand what will be worse: continuing on this path that, even before starting, already showed you how the rest will be, how you will constantly feel and what you will struggle with; or to face the challenge of searching for something else and having nothing again, combined with all the judgment, delusion that you will feel from those around you and just within your own self...

But going back, being honest with yourself and accepting that it is not for you... Will it really make useless all your dedication and work? Will it really be a missing opportunity, you letting this chance slip through your fingers? Or will perhaps this be you really using it, using it to find something new, something even better because it will be just so right for you?

You are human, you change and you grow. You still have so much to learn about this world. And it is normal to imagine something to be in one way, try it, and discover it to be different, to not be right for you. It is normal and okay to change decisions, change your convictions, opinions and your mind. No matter how much you did in their name or for how much time.

Not everything needs to be done up to their designated completion. Not everything needs to be believed in or worked for until its very end. You can realise that something is simply not for you. You can accept that you made a wrong assumption. You can allow this journey to end for you in this moment, different from others or from what you planned it to be. And you can do it while still being proud of what you did and learned for it.

Simply because this, realising that something is not right for you, can still be exactly what you needed to do all this time. What this was all for. To learn more about this journey that made you wander, and to get to know more your own self and who you really want to be. For sure different from what you imagined... But still a purpose, still fulfilled, still right, still enough and worth it. And the one that still and always allows you to end it and let it be.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Two,

the magician, temperance, three of swords

The Siren Lorelei, August Schmidt

You were so patient with yourself. So kind at every step, at every doubt and fear. You reassured yourself, convinced gently that it is okay, that you can do it, even if it feels so strange. Even if it makes you be and feel so different from what you used to, from who you thought you were and how you imagined you would want your life to be. You were so loving, to yourself and to this situation and people involved... that you stayed right here, and tried, again and again.

Just to be sure, for your own self, that you indeed did your best, that you are not betraying anyone and messing things up. You pushed yourself constantly out of your comfort zone, listening to others and their opinions or advices, wandering when that moment of feeling confident and into it will arrive. When this pressure on your heart will pass.

But what you convinced yourself to be just inexperience, just some sort of fear for change or not being used to these ways... Perhaps was your inner voice telling you that it is just not right for you.

It is right the idea that until we try something, until we experience it, we can't really know what it's like. If it is really something that we can't enjoy in any way, or get used to it, seeing positive things even in those parts of it that we assumed we would've hate...

But it is also true that you did try, you did put yourself out there, you did push yourself further, continuing to give yourself time to adapt. You did ignore that uncomfortable feeling that was creeping on you since the very first day and try.

And this... This simply gives you the right to let it go and stop. Knowing, within yourself, that you did everything you needed and everything you could. That you have nothing to be sorry for, nothing to be ashamed of...

But only everything - your every decision, every step and every time you had that incredible strength and courage to not give up - to be deeply proud of. Proud of being who you are and the way you are. No matter how the journey itself is, no matter if you will be the one to let it go, or if it will be this journey that will decide that it gave you all it could. And that it is enough.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

– Pile Three,

the death, the queen of swords, the nine of cups

Evening by the Lake, Max Nonnenbruch

You didn't start this journey with the thought that it will end so soon. You didn't dedicate so much of yourself and your time, just for this to go so poorly right at the start... And even if it wasn't for this, it's just so irritating, the fact that it seems that you can't never win. You can't have your idea or your plan working out from the start to end.

And this, this sort of frustrating realisation that you are having, is torturing you even more now that you don't really have a choice. Now that this journey will either way end.

It is simply draining, tiring, to need to make all these big plans, strategies, choosing a goal and dedicate so much of yourself to it... Just for being forced to restart again.

And you just feel it deep down, that you can't ask yourself to do it once more. Not after everything you did to just have this chance, this glimpse of possibility that was indeed too good to be true.

But if we need to tell the truth, if we need to talk about what hides deep down in you... Then we also need to admit the fact that you didn't really give all of you to this, or to those others journeys. You did give a lot of you, but not everything. Hiding still that hope and desire that you can do things differently from what all these options wanted you to do, different from what others, people or just circumstances, try to choose for you.

You still and always hoped and waited, for a real chance to make things the way you want, the way you feel that it will be right for you... And if you, for a moment, remember it, admit it, allow it to come to the surface... Seeing this and other situations from this perspective... You are not really missing or ruining opportunities, you are not really failing. Because you, deep down, never intended to be successful and go further this way.

You are aware of it, you knew it always even when you tried so hard to hide it. And the universe, this world, knew it too. Others felt it. No matter what you said, promised or what you did so well. Everything around you knows your end goal, your little but so promising and strong desire, creating all these situations and journeys that you've seen a fraction of... Just to help you. Not to succeed in them, to walk these paths right up to a goal you never really wanted. But rather to allow you to find little bits of knowledge and experience that are so needed for that plan, that vision, that you have in your heart.

You didn't lose, you actually won all the way. Finding and accumulating exactly what you need to have a clear picture of the world around you, of the sources that you can use, the ways in which you can try to do it, the people that can and will support the calling of your heart. You found it.

You found everything that you might need. You just need to take a moment to unpack it. To look at them truly, for the first time from the perspective of your own journey and goal, from the perspective of your own desire.

Don't hold onto what is already ending either way. Don't hold onto what could've been, what you could've achieved, or what you already prepared yourself to do... But rather allow yourself to feel the liberty of movement, of thought, of creation that you now have without these limits or responsibilities that you never really wanted either way.

It is an ending. Once again. But this time it is a good one. The one that is setting you free, giving you the real and only opportunity you need: to be honest with yourself and to for once follow your vision and dream.

P.s. If you would like to receive a more personal message and guidance about your situation - find out all about it here!♡

_

[thissccounthatesfascists]

TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

[marikosenwrites]

📓✧˖°.bungo stray dogs smut scenarios and hcs

sen: my first smut fic lmao idk what and how i do but i'm gonna TRY MY BEST feed back is VERY MUCH appreciated i originally planned to do purely fic no hcs but i decided against that ^v^ tell me if you want the word count because i'm unsure if i should put it or not

characters: ada!dazai osamu, edogawa ranpo, chuuya nakahara

warnings: smut, mdni, im still putting ooc here, binding, biting (i'm still thinking tell me if smth needs to be added), rough sex (?), oral sex, use of y/n

(starts under the cut!)

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ dazai osamu

୨୧ loves binding you with random things that are flexible near him, like a tie or his bandages and things like that

୨୧ dazai just tangles his hand in your hair and like weaves through the strands and he doesn't want to pull his hand out so just pulls your hair and stuff

୨୧ if you ask him to be gentle, he compiles immediately and starts slowing down his relentless thrusts

୨୧ likes preparing you first (using his skilled fingers)

୨୧ when you're all wet he just invites himself

୨୧ pm!dazai would have done gunplay occasionally

scenario:

"bella- shit, you feel so, so, good, baby, yeah- god," dazai moans, his pace not slowing down, but becoming faster, which was what you hadn't expected.

a few whimpers and moans escape your lips, turning the taller on more, "'s-'samu, s-shit, slow down," you whimper some more as dazai hoists a leg on to his shoulder, allowing him to reach deeper places into your hole.

you scream, only to be stopped by two fingers going into your mouth. "shush, bella, yosano-san will find out. you certainly don't want that, do you?"

you shook your head in response, tears rapidly flowing down and reaching the crumpled sheets. although you cried, it was because of both the pain and the pleasure that your boyfriend was giving you.

"osamu..." you mumble as he slowed down his pace to an actually bearable one. "you're too harsh on me."

"oh? is that so?" he grinned and started to fasten his pace once again. "hmm?"

"o-osamu-! fuck-" as your pretty mewing and moans reached his ears, he grabbed a string of bandage on the nightstand next to you and tied your hands with it. "-osamu?"

"mm, you look more delightful than ever like this, bella." the man smirked.

"shall the show officially begin, now?"

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ edogawa ranpo

୨୧ into foodplay is the first thing i'll say

୨୧ loves sucking on tits too (literally his favorite thing to do what am i on about)

୨୧ loves sex after a tired day at work (like MINOURA or new people insulting him and stuff) (by insulting i mean saying that he isn't a good enough detective)

୨୧ sex between the both of you always starts with a make out session and then (and then) BOOM you strip and the good part starts

୨୧ he is a lazy bottom for real but when he's mad/frustrated oh boy you bouta see some stars

୨୧ loves when you top him

scenario:

quite a while had passed since you were bouncing on his on his cock, your moans and his combining into a harmony that was unique on the world, and only happens once a week or so.

ranpo had come home from a bad day, a frustrating one. you had always tended to his needs when it came to to tired days. and the same applies for you.

"mm...you look so nice bouncing like that f'me, sugar," the raven-head grins as he aids you with his hand.

you moan prettily, as you say, "ranpo- ngh-"

his moans get louder as he goes closer to reaching his peak. a while more after, you come with him closely following you in the motion. "well, sugar," his chest heaves up and down. "did you enjoy it?"

"m-mhm," you nod, unable to speak too much.

"well," he flips you around, now him on top of you as he puts the lollipop he was sucking in your mouth.

"let's begin round two."

‧₊˚⋅📃✎ᝰ..𖥔 ݁ nakahara chuuya

୨୧ not into gunplay, just because he's in the mafia, doesn't mean he has to be into gunplay right?

୨୧ is really soft with you once you warm up and stuff

୨୧ doesn't really have kinks

୨୧ had this one time he used his ability to pin you down

୨୧ active bottom? maybe. likes being in control more, though

୨୧ loves giving oral

scenario:

"doll, y/n, you're taking me so good, fuck-" chuuya groans in pleasure as your throat contracts and takes his length fully.

"ngh-" you couldn't really speak, considering...his dick was down your whole throat.

the red-head threw his head back as his eyes shut close, all while waves of pleasure overwhelmed his whole body and took over him.

your gaze went up, and observed chuuya. it was as if he had no more self-restraint at all. his gloved hand was tangled in your h/c hair, as he subconsciously massaged your scalp.

your groans met chuuya's sensitive ears and the sounds only turn him on more.

"sweetheart- ngh, fuck, s'good-" he felt some weird feeling gather at the bottom at his spine. was it his orgasm coming? perhaps. but in that moment, nothing mattered. in this world, you are his only pillar. you are his life. you are his everything.

one last moan and he came in your mouth, and less than a few seconds later, you also came. he pulled out as he watched his cum drip from his tip, and you swallowing the bodily fluid your hot session had produced.

"you were so good, doll." chuuya tenderly wiped a few beads of sweat off your forehead.

"i-" you swallowed your saliva, "it felt...good. maybe we should try again some other time, chuu."

"'s that so?" he smiled.

"we should end the night here. we're tired, after all."

©all banners, dividers, and stories are made by marikosenwrites and the pictures in it are from pinterest. i own none of the bungo stray dogs/bungou stray dogs/文豪ストレイドッグス characters mentioned here. all rights reserved, please do not steal.

mdni banner taken from @cafekitsune! (their work is much appreciated)

[shycloudkitty]

Could this Valentine's Day be any better?

Summary: Unfortunately, you are sick this Valentine's day. All the plans you made were gone to trash. Although, Leon still tries his best to make it a special day for you and him. And by best it means… the one that both of you will remember for the lifetime. ;)

Pairing: Death Island! Leon × Gn! Reader

Tags: Tooth rotting fluff, leon calling reader sweet nicknames, leon being a caring boyfriend. (A bit of negative self-talk from the reader's side), Also there's a few Nsfw jokes and a bit of suggestive content so…Not that much so don't worry.

A/N: If you couldn't tell, I wrote this while I was sick and college exams being like a week away 🥲. Also I am single and valentine's just around the corner and yes, I am sick🥲🥲🥲. Personally, not a fan of this combination (It sucks here😭). Anyways, it gave me the perfect opportunity to be delulu about Leon.

So that's what this is - me being delulu, but I hope you all enjoy this fic and have a good day. Thank you to @nexysworld and @luniaxi for beta read🥰

(Also I know it's not Valentine's Day today. Like I said I was terribly busy🥲)

WC: 4.5K

It's Valentine's Day. The day of love. The day of sweet chocolates, beautiful bouquets and heartfelt love confessions.

It was a special day for couples, young or old. A reminder that pure love never grows old or wither away, in fact it only grows deeper as time passes by. The day was a reminder to cherish it as long as you can.

Which is what you would have been doing with your boyfriend today, if you weren't sick. Yes, you are sick, why? Because you have bad luck. A really terrible one.

Out of all 365 days in the year you had to be sick today. The most important day and say goodbye to all the romantic plans you made. The candlelight dinner, the cute dinner outfit you bought. But, no now you have to kiss it all goodbye and just grumble about what could have been.

To say that you were disappointed and angry was an understatement.

You blamed the seasonal changes for the condition you were in. You are in bed, not even having an ounce of energy to sit up properly, a bad throat, headache, body pain, cough and fever.

The only good thing was that your high fever had almost subsided only because of your sweet, caring, most down to earth person, your boyfriend made it his mission to take care of you during these tough times.

The moment he knew you were sick, he dropped everything he was doing and immediately wrapped a blanket around you after he had you settled in bed. Making you hot tomato soup, your favorite ramen, chamomile tea, anything that would help you feel better.

You were in your bed, trying to take a good rest but the body pain you had was making it really difficult. It was noon right now but what could you possibly do besides resting anyways?

“It will get better, just rest. I'm here.” He said as you complained about the condition you were in. He tried to soothe you with the sweetest smile he could muster, his warm blue eyes reassuring you that it will in fact get better even if you didn't believe it.

You clutched your head when you felt the pain coursing its way in your head, giving you a migraine. “I can't sleep Leon…it's so difficult.”

Leon could see the tears of frustration slipping from your eyes as the overall pain troubled you from getting you even a moment of relaxation.

And it broke his heart to see you in so much pain. Knowing he couldn't take the pain away entirely. Even if he was cooking you hot meals and soup it was still going to take some time to heal.

If it was up to him he would move mountains just for you to feel better even for a second. He wished he could just snap his fingers and take all the pain you had and give it to himself. Obviously, he wouldn't say it out loud cause he knew it would get you upset but he really wished he could do all that.

He was willing to suffer, if it meant you would never have to.

Your tired body slowly felt the warm calloused hands, slowly bringing you in his arms and hugging you tightly but keeping his hold gentle, so as not to cause you any discomfort as he cuddles with you. And pulled the blanket over you both to keep you warmer.

You looked up at him with a tired face as he gently rubbed your back with his hand. Slowly massaging your back with his strong fingers, trying to get rid of those sore spots. You felt his soft lips on your forehead giving you a loving kiss, which already had you melting in his big arms.

“Feeling better?” He asked in the softest voice possible and brought his other hand to your temple. Rubbing the sore spot with his thumb gently, which had you crying in pain earlier.

Your eyes slowly closed and a soft relaxed sigh escaped your lips as you gave a small nod. His gentle touch, the sweet voice, the soft kisses surely gave you a moment to relax.

Leon peppered soft, gentle kisses across your whole face while still massaging your back and temple. Soon he moved his hands to your waist to pull you more close so you were pressed up against his chest.

You looked up at him, opening your eyes for a moment, looking at him and wondering how could he even tolerate to even stay this close to you, while you had a running nose & weakness all over.

You didn't feel pretty or cute right now, you felt sick and horrible. Hell, even you wouldn't stay this close to yourself. But here he was… smiling down at you, massaging your sore spots, cuddling with you, trying his absolute best to help you regain your health.

“Have something to say, Darling?” He asked when he noticed you staring at him, lost in thought.

You sniffled a bit and replied. “You know… you will get sick if you stay so close to me.”

You heard a warm chuckle, feeling him hug you tighter. “Worrying about me even when you are sick? You are too sweet for your own good, y'know.”

You rolled your eyes and hit him lightly on his arm. “I'm not kidding.”

Leon chuckled once more seeing the glimpse of the playful attitude you always had. It made him feel better that you were feeling better enough to talk.

He smiled and shook his head lightly. “I will be fine. Relax.”

You huff and say. “You say that now, but if we both got sick at the same time there will be no one to take care of us. Like how will I take care of you? When I'm not even able to get out of bed?”

It wasn't like you weren't grateful for his actions. Of course you were, but if he got sick because of you, the guilt would definitely hit you in the chest about it. Also being sick definitely made you cranky.

Leon raises an eyebrow at your words and tries to hold in a chuckle seeing you argue with him on this, trying his best to be serious. He then smiled and cleared his throat and slowly replied. “Well… first off I'm not gonna get sick. Second… even if I actually got sick, I'm pretty confident I could still take care of you.”

You looked up at him again, a bit touched with his words. “Are you sure?”

Leon playfully rolled his eyes. “Honey, I got infected with viruses you couldn't imagine. This is nothing. So yes, I'm sure.”

Well… he had a point. But you still had something in your mind that you were itching to ask.

You sighed, snuggling up closer than possible. Trying to relax your mind with his scent. Trying to remind yourself that he was really here and not to some far off mission.

You bit your lips nervously. “Are you mad at me for ruining this valentine day?”

Leon’s expression softened further as he realized that you feel guilty. It wasn't your fault, you couldn't control it. Plus, this didn't ruin anything. Yes it was a bit stressful but that was okay, your health was more important than valentine day. If anything this brought you both closer than ever.

“Baby… you can't ruin it just cause you got sick. I love you. Always. Why would I get mad at such a thing? If anything I am glad I got to spend this time taking care of you.”

He pressed a kiss on your cheek and continued. “You can't ruin anything. Ever.” You sighed softly as he said that. A bit relieved that he at least doesn't think it was the worst valentine day ever.

You closed your eyes, feeling the body pain ease a bit. The medications and the cuddling was really taking a number on you. Almost ready to fall asleep.

Leon noticed how you became less chatty, slowly falling in and out of sleep. He slowly sat up in bed, careful not to disturb your sleeping form. And took hold of your legs and slowly started to massage the sore points present in the legs. Fingers applying firm pressure to relieve any pain that you were still having.

A sleepy sigh escaped your lips when you slowly felt the pain go away, transferring you into a state of deep relaxation…

Leon smiled to himself when he saw you sleep, free from any migraines or body pain that you may be having. He continues his massages till he is sure you won't wake up. He then puts a warm blanket over you, and softly whispers. “Get well soon baby, I have a surprise for you tonight…”

Leon gently kissed your forehead and moved away. Now he had to prepare for the surprise…

(Few hours later…)

You woke up after 3-4 hours. Your eyes slowly opened as it adjusted to the surroundings, you turned your head to look at the clock on the nightstand.

5:30pm

You sighed and looked up at the ceiling. You were definitely feeling a lot better now. The body pain was still there but it wasn't that bad. You were still feeling weak but didn't feel like you still had a fever.

A few minutes later you heard some shuffling outside the room. You lifted your head to see what was going on and saw Leon entering the room. He smiled when he saw you were awake.

And came by your side and kissed your cheeks lovingly and mumbled. “Good evening baby… Feeling better?”

You thought about it then gave a small nod with a sigh. “Mmhmm…”

Leon smiled and planted a few soft loving kiss across your face. “Good… Because I have a surprise for you.”

Your ears perked up as soon as you heard that magical word. Surprise. You looked up at him and said, “A surprise…? What is it about?”

He smiled seeing the small spark in your eyes at the mention and gave a wink. “A valentine dinner for us at home, prepared by yours truly.”

Your eyes widened and raised yourself slightly on your elbows to look at him properly. “Wait- As in… A dinner date for today at our home.”

His smile widened further as he took both of your hands and gave it a light squeeze and nodded. A blush rising in his cheeks. If you didn't know any better he was getting a bit shy and a tad nervous too. Such a cutie pie.

“Well… I thought since you were so upset about the whole situation and I know you had plans and everything… So… I decided to bring those plans to you.” You could swear his whole face turned into a cute puppy as he told you about his plan.

Your heart melted, no you felt like your whole body melted and formed a puddle in bed. The thought of him doing so much just to see you happy and cared was enough to give you a whole swarm of butterflies in your stomach.

You were glad Leon came into your life, glad that he chose to be with you. You didn't know what you did to deserve to have this amazing man all to yourself. His icy blue eyes, his sweet demeanor, the way he made you feel… It was amazing.

You didn't know what love was until you met him. Yeah, you thought what love was before him but being with him was just… magical. He remembered almost everything about you. Yeah, yeah the bar was in hell and whatever bullshit.

But if a man like him, who literally fought bioterrorism for a living. Who probably had the most stressful job on this planet did such thoughtful gestures, who almost turned into a puppy when he saw you, looked at you with such warm and sweet eyes… It was hard not to fall in love with him.

You gathered a bit of strength and immediately hugged him tightly, burying your face in his neck and dropping a kiss there. “Thank you… I love you.”

Leon chuckled as he hugged you back. “Love you too. And it's the least I could do.” he saw how your eyes almost started twinkling and how your face brightened up to a few notches. And that's how he knew the job was well done.

Leon dropped a light kiss on your lips and softly said. “Want to get ready for it?”

You gave a nod and he smiled. “Good…Want my help with any of it?”

You were still feeling a bit weak from the illness but it was a lot better. But you weren't stupid enough to say no to his request. So you agreed.

Leon being the gentleman he was, helped you get out of the bed and basically carried you to the bathroom to help you shower. Why would he let you walk when he could just pick you up like a cat and go wherever he wanted?

As you both entered the bathroom he helped you get out of your clothes, prepared some hot water bath, lit some of the scented candles that you preferred to have while taking a bath.

You relaxed in the bathtub while he started to wash your hair. Gentle fingers massaging your scalp, threading through your hair replacing the leftover pain with a feeling of pure bliss. You had a smile on your face as he continued and looked over at him.

“Thank you…”

He met your eyes and smiled. “For what?”

“For… everything. You are the best boyfriend I ever had.”

Leon's smile brightened, feeling a surge of pride in his chest, he then kissed your forehead. “At least I'm best at something.”

You chuckled as he poked your cheek playfully and went back to washing your hair. He then tilted your head a bit and slowly poured down water on your hair to get rid of the shampoo. He then helped you shower through the rest of the body.

When you were done, he helped you get out of the bathtub and wrapped a towel around you. You looked up to see him, to see his face getting scrunched up lightly as he focused on wrapping it tightly around you. You loved it when he would do that, he looked so cute when his nose would just scrunch up lightly as he focused on whatever he was doing. It was simply adorable.

“I feel like a kid getting help in dressing up after parents made me bathe.��� You made note as he searched for your clothes through your closet.

Leon had a hearty laugh at the comment and gave you a playful shrug. “Get sick like a child, get treated like a child.”

He turned towards you, taking out the outfit that you previously bought for the ‘dinner date’ you both were supposed to have before you got sick. And helped you wear it.

You smirked at him. “Oh really? Should I start calling you daddy then?”

Leon paused for a moment, his eyes immediately flicking back to you. That nickname always did something for him. And you knew that very well…you couldn't help but just poke him a bit.

A blush rose in his cheeks as cleared his throat and said. “Uh huh… Why don't we just focus on the task at hand. Which is getting you dressed.”

You couldn't help but giggle as he avoided the topic. “Oh you don't like that? I could swear that you did.”

He gave you a stern look and narrowed his eyes a bit. “Babe… don't.”

You chuckled and decided to play dumb. “What? I was just asking.”

Leon cleared his throat again, his blush deepening and slowly said. “I am glad you are feeling good enough to tease me like that. Having fun?”

“Very”

“I could tell.”

You chuckled, deciding to cut him some slack. It's not like you wouldn't like to test his patience a bit more… Maybe after dinner you might.

Leon finished helping you dress up then he also helped you with your make-up, helping you tie your hair up in a bun when you finished giving touch ups to your face.

“Like a doll. You look amazing.” Giving your ass a light smack.

You squealed in surprise which made Leon grin wider and hug you tightly in his arms. And peppered kisses all over your face. “Feeling better?”

You nodded with a bright smile. “Yes, very much so.”

Leon grinned. “Ready for the big date then?”

You eagerly nodded and Leon took a blindfold from his pocket and held it in front of you. “Want you to wear this first.”

You gave a mischievous grin, opening your mouth to come up with a quip but Leon beat you to it. “It's for not ruining your surprise, dummy.” Rolling his eyes at your antics.

You scoffed playfully. “Hey, I didn't even say anything and stop calling me that. It's mean.” You gave a fake pout and Leon couldn't help but chuckle.

It was moments like these that made him feel like that life was worth living. The small domestic moments that he never thought he would get to experience. That perhaps it was worth fighting all those man-made monstrosities and risking his life, if this is what he came home to. His safe haven.

You were worth protecting and taken care of. You deserved every bit of love he had in himself and even his life if you wanted.

Leon turned you around as he tied the blindfold around your eyes. When he finished, he gave another light smack on your ass which made you chuckle. “Well this refreshes some memories.”

Leon kissed your neck and playfully whispered. “Want me to refresh them even more after the dinner?”

You blushed and even if you couldn't see his face because of the blindfold. You bet he was smirking down at you. “Well… Maybe?”

Leon chuckled, taking your face in his hands and kissed your forehead. “Well… I guess you have one more surprise after dinner then.”

You blushed even more and looked away. He grinned seeing you at a loss for words and smiled. Knowing he won that. He then took your hand and said. “Now dinner. Careful not to stumble down on anything.”

He then guided you out of the bedroom, helping you walk down the hallway to your surprise in the living room. He then stopped and slowly removed your blindfold.

Your eyes fluttered open and saw the scene in front of you. Your eyes widened and your hands flew to your mouth to contain the excitement filling your body.

The living room seemed like it was heaven of some sort. Filled with her favorite flowers, rose petals on the floor guiding the way towards the table, present in the middle of the room. The table was decorated with a beautiful centerpiece, filled with roses. The whole room was decorated with red balloons and candles.

If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you were gonna get proposed or something.

Wait-

You immediately turned around and gasped as you saw him down on one knee. An engagement ring in his hands looking up to you like you were his whole world. You were his whole world.

And it seemed like the whole world stopped for a moment, just for the two of you to have this.

You had like dozens of questions running through your head. Like how the hell did he plan all this? Did he take some help? Of course he did. But how did he do all this, the planning and decoration? And was this really even happening? Or your imagination? Was he really proposing to you? Like right now???

Leon noticed that you were well… speechless. So he took one of your hands and gave a gentle squeeze. That seemed to get you out enough of your confusion and shock. Your voice came out in a little whisper. “Leon… I…”

You didn't realize at first but you had started tearing up. Wiping your tears, you looked down at him and he was almost there, on the verge of tears but holding it in for your sake. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze and cleared his throat. “Did you like it…?”

You had a small chuckle & managed a nod while you were tearing up. Oh, it wasn't even a question that you liked it. You loved it.

Leon looked down at the ring in his fingers once more. He had a whole speech prepared on how he always thought you were the one. (Which Claire and Sherry helped him prepare;)). Now he swore he forgot all of it when the actual moment came.

Leon cleared his throat and looked up at you. You looked stunning, even with tears running down your cheeks you looked the most beautiful person ever stepped on this earth. He took a deep breath and started. “Well… to start… this is not how I planned things would go…”

Leon saw you getting confused a bit then explained. “I was originally gonna do it in the restaurant we were gonna go to… but then you fell sick and I had to bring some improvisation to my plan.”

Leon saw your little smile peeking and his confidence rose up a bit. “Umm… I had been thinking about this for a while. Like a year... And you were also dropping hints all over so yeah, I wasn't dumb enough to not understand them…”

You had a small chuckle and shook your head lightly. It was true, you tried to tease him with some videos of couples getting proposed to all he used to reply with was a small “hmm… nice.” And avoid the topic. And now that he was here he seemed so…vulnerable.

He continued. “I know you felt like you ruined this Valentine's Day. But you could never do that. You could never ruin anything. I know I said that earlier but I want you to understand that fully. Everything about you is… Perfect. Magical. There aren't enough adjectives to describe what it's like when I am here with you. You make me feel… safe and loved.”

You felt yourself tear up more when he said that. You could have never thought he felt like that with you. But you knew he was saying the truth the way he was looking at you.

He interlaced his fingers with yours when he gave a gentle squeeze again this time. “The past few days when you were sick, I loved taking care of you. To show you the love you've given me. The love you show me when you take care of me after missions, patching me up, preparing me delicious food even when you are busy with your office work. It's just… I can't believe that I deserve all that. And yes it's not the first time I took care of you but moments like these… helps me to show you and return that love your way.”

He takes another deep breath to calm himself, not yet realizing that he was tearing up at this point. “So, with all the hope I have right now, thinking I haven't exactly messed up all my speech… Will you marry me?”

You didn't know how you were even exactly standing right now after his speech. You were speechless. You had so much to say… but you couldn't even come up with one word. You gulped and took a deep breath and slowly replied.

“Yes Leon, of course I will marry you…”

Leon sighed in relief and let the tears flow from his eyes freely, holding nothing back and slipped the ring on your fingers. And stood up properly this time. He immediately brought you in his arms, cupped your face and kissed you. Pouring all the love he had for you, the love that couldn't be expressed by mere words only by actions.

You immediately wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the passion you had for him in the moment. His body pressed up against yours. Feeling his warmth and excitement pour into you.

You both slowly pulled back, foreheads still touching and in each other's arms, having a big dumb smile on both of your faces. “Leon… I… don't know what to say… you… did all this?”

Leon gave a light chuckle and shrugged. “I had help.” And kissed your forehead.

You sighed softly and looked down at your ring. “So now I'm your fiancée hmm?”

Leon nodded and hugged you more tightly. “Yeah. Deal with it. You are not escaping that.” His tone got a bit playful as this continued.

You giggled and playfully said. “Actually, kind of looking forward to be Mrs. Kennedy.”

Leon grinned and cupped your face once again. Having the softest eyes he had for you at the moment. “Oh yeah? Me too. The name suits you.”

He then kissed you softly on the lips again, rubbing your back and just holding you in his arms like you would drift away right now.

You both stayed like that for a moment and he asked. “Feeling hungry yet?”

You chuckled and nodded. “Yeah a little bit. What do you have for me?”

Leon grinned and pulled away, taking your hand in his and walking towards the table in the center. “Come with me, I will show you.”

And so you did. Your heart is still beating with excitement that you will soon get married and be his partner for life. And you couldn't wait for the day to come.

Maybe this Valentine's Day wasn't that bad after all.

Phew. So that's done. Ngl I started this a few days before Valentine's Day. I was definitely gonna post it then but exams took priority 🥲. I also think I went too delulu over him lmao. But anyways, I really do hope you all enjoy this like I am sorry if this wasn't that good. Half of the time my brain wasn't working.

And I hope you enjoyed Valentine's Day with your loved ones. Have a good day🥰

-Bella

[warping-realities]

What She Wants

I know I promised the previous one would be the last one for a while but I had a video that I not use in one of the last stories and ended up creating a shorter one just so as not to waste it. I hope you like it.

Cherisse was pissed off. At her old schoolmates and at herself. The five-year reunion was coming up next weekend, and she was gonna have to show up all alone. She never really gave a damn about this kind of stuff, always focused on her career. But then, why the hell did she lie about having a boyfriend? She knew why—those bitches Brenda and Destiny with their pathetic little housewife lives and their useless husbands loved to say that because she was a bodybuilder, no guy would wanna date her. I mean, what kind of dude would go out with a woman bigger than him? That thought made her wanna scream, but those bitches had a point. Even the male bodybuilders ended up choosing curvier, less muscular women, which really pissed her off. The fact that she was so close to becoming a big star in the bodybuilding scene should’ve been enough to ease her doubts, but it wasn’t. In reality, she was so fed up with everything that she dropped her apartment key on the floor of the hallway in the tiny building she lived in, thanks to her job as a Personal Trainer. At least for now, since she had contracts lined up with several big brands by the time she stepped on Olympia stage in a few months, which was what she should’ve been worrying about. Frustrated and angry, she picked up the key from the floor and stood up, only to see David, her neighbor, walking by. The blond thin and extremely cute guy worked at a nearby coffee shop and was always super polite to her, even though any flirting attempts on him had been shot down.

She knew she couldn’t make him like her or… could she? Remembering the times she got shot down by the guy, combined with the frustration about the upcoming event and the possibility of being ridiculed by her old classmates… all of that lit a fire inside her that made her decide to take action. She’d been warned a bunch of times not to mess with her gift, that it could spiral out of control and come with a high price, but she was tired of being the good girl, tired of being humiliated. It was time to think about herself. She will get what she wanted.

….

After a long day at the coffee shop, all David wanted was to flop down on the couch in his tiny one-bedroom apartment and chill, and maybe, just maybe, look for a hookup on Grindr. After throwing on a tank top and some shorts, he was about to head out of his room when he heard a noise—there was someone else in the apartment. Creeping up to the door, he was freaked out and jumped.

“Cherisse, what the hell! What are you doing here? What you want?

“What I want, David? I want my boyfriend!” The muscular black woman replied, grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Yeah, I want my boyfriend, David. My boyfriend who loves me and would do anything for me!”

“Cherisse… you’re out of your min…” David started to say, cutting himself off as a weird sensation flooded his body, like he was about to choke, making him gasp for air. Then he was shocked to hear his own voice while his mouth moved on its own.

“But that’s what you already have, babe.”

“Not enough! I want my boyfriend, bigger, more muscular, and stronger than me.”

The choking feeling hit him again, this time harder, along with a dizzy spell that made David wobble for a second. After a few seconds, he seemed to recover. With his giant biceps and powerful pecs on display, he looked a few inches shorter, with shaved hair and a square face, wich smiled to Cherisse.

“Stronger and more muscular for sure, and two inches taller!”

“No, I want more! I want my bodybuilder boyfriend, way bigger than me, my boyfriend with beautiful dark hair and a darker skin.”

In an instant, the bodybuilder David underwent a transformation, turning into a caramel-skinned version with brown eyes and well-kept dark hair and beard, maybe of Latin descent.

“Much better! Take off those shorts and pose for me, David!”

He obeyed, stripping down to just his underwear and flexing his powerful muscles for his girlfriend to see.

“Yummy, but I still want more.” She commented licking her lips without noticing the change in her voice and vocabulary. “I want my boyfriend with delicious choclate skin as dark as mine. My professional bodybuilder boyfriend, Mr. Olympia material boyfriend. My boyfriend who fulfills all my needs and will accompany me to my school reunion, and make all the jealous bitches shut up they skunk mouths. Now come, come to me, my love,” she said, as the uncontrolled power took over completely.

As the muscular giant, who minutes ago had been a gay dude just looking for a casual hookup, walked from the bedroom door towards her, with each step he took, he grew larger while his skin darkened to a chocolate tone. His pecs looked like two slabs of meat, his abs lost some definition, but his arms swelled to the size of tree trunks. As sweat dripped down his body, his black wavy hair transformed into small curls in a stylish cut with shaved sides, while his underwear turned into gym shorts, and the tiny apartment room morphed into a spacious mansion living room.

While all this was happening and the power dominated Cherisse’s mind, she didn’t notice that her short hair, which had fallen out due to steroid use started to grow back in beautifull well manteined curls while her voice gained an airy melodious tone. As the former David grew bigger, she shrank, her powerful muscles becoming smaller but defined, while her glutes became curvier and her breasts softer. Then, as the monstrous off-season bodybuilder stood smiling in front of her, her clothes evaporated, leaving her in a tiny bikini that showcased all her perfect curves. Finnaly the whirlwind of power seemed to reach its peak before fading away forever while the reality reset.

The smile on the behemoth's face quickly vanished when he noticed his girlfriend posing in the middle of their living room.

“Can I ask what the hell you’re doing, Cherisse?”

“Babe… I… I thought you’d be back later.”

“I decided to surprise my girlfriend, and guess who’s getting surprised? Don’t tell me you’re back to that ridiculous idea of competing in Bikini Fitness. I’ve already been clear with you about that. You don’t need to work, especially not by exposing your body; I’m the one who takes care of all my wife’s needs.”

“Wife? What do you mean?”

“Well, that was the surprise I was gonna pull on you, but it looks like…”

“Stop being silly, I was rehearsing, yeah, but it was just for you, my love.”

“Now you’re talking like my future wife,” he replied, with his smile returning.

….

That weekend, Cherisse was bursting with joy. As her boyfriend parked the car, she rushed over to meet her old school friends, Brenda and Destiny, in the garden of the beautiful restaurant they class picked for the high school reunion. After some kisses, hugs, and excited squeals, Brenda looked at her curiously.

“Is that on your finger what I think it is?”

“Yup!!! He proposed to me!!”

“So, we’re finally gonna meet your boyfriend… sorry, your fiancé?”

“Yeah, look over there,” Cherisse said, making her friends look at the handsome specimen of a man strutting confidently towards them—300 pounds of pure muscle covered in a beutifull chocolate skin, wearing a light gray suit with a vest and a shirt whose last buttons could never stay closed, showing off a gorgeous chest. All of this was topped off by a rugged face that could make knees weak.

“Girls, this is Deshaun, my fiancé,” she said, knowing the others would be dying of envy.

Later, as her friends walked in, Deshaun pulled her close.

“Are you happy, my love? I know how important this reunion was for you.”

“Happy? I’m totally fucking ecstatic, babe. I showed those bitches who’s the best. I’ve got the best house, the best body, and the best man. What more could I want?”

[somber-sapphic]

Snow Daze

〖Summary: Shoveling snow while sick is a nightmare combination.〗

〖Word Count: 2.1k〗

〖Pairing: Wanda x Sick Reader〗

〖Notes: Sorry it took so long to get this done, I got sick and couldn't write for the life of me. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this and feel free to send me an ask if you'd like to read anything!〗

☾Masterlists☽

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Waking up to fresh snowfall brought different reactions for everyone. Some felt joy upon seeing their ordinary world coated in white, they loved the whimsy that came with the weather. To others it was more frustrating. It was a chore that had to be dealt with as early as possible to make room for the day. You fell into the latter category.

When you woke up on what was supposed to be a lazy Sunday morning you were less than thrilled to see a blanket of snow covering the yard, driveway and cars. It wasn’t like you didn’t enjoy the snow, you loved watching it fall in large fluffy flakes and every so often you would have a snowball fight with the avengers. Really you loved the snow, but you hated the cleanup. You hated it more with a stuffy nose and a dull ache in your body that clearly indicated that you were getting sick.

There was this little competition among the heroes about who could shovel the most snow, it was their way of turning a chore into a fun workout. You didn’t find it nearly as fun as them. You would rather just get the damn job over with without all of the smack talk and teasing, but they insisted on it.

Wanda had gotten so tired of their antics that she’d dubbed herself ‘maker of the hot coca’ to get out of it. Natasha loved it, she felt great when she could beat the superhumans at anything and generally just enjoyed competition. You participated only because you were a relatively new member of the team (compared to the others) and didn’t want to make yourself look weak.  

Staring out at the vast expanse that was the Avengers Compound driveway you couldn’t help but feel a bit of self-pity. You had just woken up and you were already feeling awful. Your nose was so stuffy that you couldn’t breathe through it, but it was also running. Your throat burned every time you swallowed, and you were sure that the cough that would be coming would make it hurt even worse.

It wasn’t like you had much of a choice though, you could hear Steve beginning to yell at everyone to get up and dressed for 20-degree weather. With a harsh sneeze you began to get ready, pulling on the warmest clothes you could find which included doubles of everything. Even with the two layers you were shivering hard, unable to get warm.

You stared at yourself in the small mirror, studying the dark smudges under your eyes and the sickly pallor of your face. Your nostrils were already rimmed red from rubbing them and your lips were badly chapped. Whatever this was it was hitting fast and hard.

A loud knock startled you out of your daze and back into reality. You shuffled to your door, hindered by the extra layers and your own dizziness. Opening it revealed an excited looking Steve with a big smile on his face and wearing winter clothes.

“You ready Y/n? It looks heavy!” He greeted, grinning at you. His joyful tone was baffling, but you were determined to prove yourself as an individual with no powers and far less experience than the others.

“Lets do this.” You croaked, confirming that you sounded as bad as you felt. Steve’s eyebrow twitched and his expression morphed into one of concern, but you brushed it off with a quiet cough and a smile.

“Sorry, my throat is a little dry. I think I need to talk to FRIDAY about increasing the humidity in here.” You said, offering an easy explanation for what could easily be a fluke. The cough had done wonders to clear your throat and you didn’t sound quite as awful. A bit nasally, but not like death.

Cap nodded enthusiastically, too focused on the idea of what he was sure would be an intense workout to really notice the state you were in. If you said you were fine, he was in no place to question you.

“Lets do this!”

You grabbed your coat and followed the superhero out of your bedroom where you practically ran into a very tired looking Wanda. The witch wasn’t sure why it was so important for her to be awake as she was only making cocoa for everyone, but the boys had refused to give her peace.

When she saw you, her eyes went wide, and you couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks. The way she looked at you with worry and love, it was just something you’d never seen before meeting her.

When you first joined the team, she had been incredibly kind to you, she’d understood your fear and done everything to make you feel welcome. It hadn’t taken long for you to fall head over heels for her. Thankfully she could read your mind otherwise you never would’ve gotten the courage to ask her out.

“Y/n, are you okay? You look…not great.” She said softly, not wanting to attract the attention of anyone else. You smiled again and nodded slightly, wondering if she could tell that you were lying. You had always been good at it, but you knew that she could sense emotions without trying if they were strong enough.

“I’m fine. I just woke up, that’s it. Will you put marshmallows in my hot cocoa?” You asked, leaning in to peck her on the cheek. The brunette hummed quiet concern, but nodded after a moment and squeezed your hand.

“Of course, baby. Come inside if you need a break, okay? No need to put yourself at risk for a chore, it will get done.” She kissed you, her soft red lips brushing gently against yours. You did the best you could to return the kiss, but it was everything you could do not to fall apart. The last place you wanted to be was outside in the freezing cold, you wanted to be with Wanda who was comfortable and warm. Later you’d find yourself wishing that you gave into that want.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

A chesty cough bubbled from your lips as you threw another shovel full of heavy wet snow over your shoulder, but this time you did nothing to suppress it. You no longer cared if someone heard you, you were tired and cold. It had been two hours of moving piles of incredibly heavy snow and you were barely halfway done.

Natasha glanced over at you but said nothing. She’d been watching you deteriorate for a while now but didn’t want to force you inside when you were being so stubborn. She had internally decided that if you didn’t go in soon, she would get Wanda to come get you.

 The boys were getting even more competitive as they got bored, and Clint had started throwing snowballs. You were thankful that you were on the other side of the driveway away from that nonsense.

One thing your slightly feverish brain hadn’t considered was that the others might retaliate. What had started as one man throwing a few snowballs had turned into a full-blown snowball fight in less than a minute. You tried to avoid your teams’ antics and just continue with the snow removal, but it was too late for that.

Before you could think to react one very well packed snowball slammed you in the face and another hit the back of your head. You froze as icy slush slid down your back and chest, bypassing your jacket to soak into your soft cotton undershirt. You stared at Steve who had thrown the one that hit your face with an expression of shock and anger that was barely masking tears.

You threw the shovel down and whipped around, a wave of spots dancing in your vision as you began to march back toward the front doors. You glared daggers at Clint who had thrown the other snowball and flipped them both off as you trudged your way through the snow, hot tears beginning to drip down your freezing cheeks.

When you got inside you didn’t even bother taking off your boots, you just stomped through the foyer and to the elevator, pushing the button you knew would get you to the kitchen and your girlfriend.

“Mx. Y/l/n, your vitals indicate—”

“Shut up FRIDAY.” You snapped, coughing aggressively into your elbow as you waited the few seconds for the elevator to get to your floor. You didn’t care what the AI had to say, you knew that you were sick, and you were so angry that all you really wanted to do was scream.

When you finally made it to the kitchen the snow had begun to melt. You stood in front of Wanda dripping and shivering, doing everything you could to keep yourself from sobbing.

“Oh love, you’re freezing.” The brunette breathed, shaking her head as she rushed to comfort you. She began to take off your coat and you just let her. The tears coming faster as her aura of compassion washed over you, reassuring you that you weren’t alone.

The young Sokovian woman set your coat on a chair and pulled you in for a hug, giving you silent permission to break down. You did just that and buried your head in her shoulder as you began to sob out your frustration at the world. Wanda held you like that, crying coughing and sneezing for probably five minutes before she pulled away, seeming not to care that you’d ruined her shirt.

“Come on Y/n/n, let’s get you in bed.”

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

When she said that you expected to be brought to your bedroom, but instead you found her leading you to hers. Once there she helped you change into her softest pajamas and tucked you into her bed without a second thought.

The whole thing happened so fast that your fever clouded brain barely had time to catch up when Wanda left you alone only to return a moment later with a mug of tea.

“Here you go sweetheart. Drink this for me, it’ll warm you up.” Wanda said gently, pushing a mug into your hands. She had never made you any cocoa, she knew that you were getting sick and decided that tea would be best.

“Thanks.” You rasped, not sure what else to say. You’d never really been taken care of before and being sick around your girlfriend was strange. The relationship was still on the newer side, so you were worried about doing something wrong and messing it up.

The witch kissed your forehead and took her seat beside you on the soft bed. She wrapped a blanket around your trembling shoulders and made quiet noises of concern as she fussed, something you found yourself enjoying. It was nice to feel cared for and she did it better than anyone else.

“How about we watch a show while you warm up?” She suggested reaching for the remote on her bedside table. You nodded silently and wiped your nose on your sleeve, your throat hurt, and you weren’t really up to talking anymore. Wanda tilted her head at your action and placed a box of tissues in your lap with a little smile.

“Use these instead.” She directed, turning her attention to the TV. You obliged and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose which was definitely better than just wiping it.

Wanda flipped through channels and began to play with your hair as she did so, dragging her nails in patterns across your skull. The effect was amazing, you instantly felt calmer and settled against her even more, practically melting into her side.

You focused your eyes on whatever show she had put on; it was brightly colored and animated. It didn’t really matter to you what she decided to watch, you were too sick to pay attention to it.

You took a sip of the hot tea, relishing the way it soothed your throat and warmed your insides. The snow had been hell, but you were finally able to relax thanks to your amazing girlfriend. You vowed silently to repay the favor the next time she got sick and go above and beyond to take care of her the same way she was doing for you.

[pricegouge]

Don't mind me, just thought too long about keeping Price on a leash while he fucks you from behind 🫠

John Price x gn SAS captain reader oneshot | explicit

cw: Light pain play. Unsafe gagging practices. Praise kink. John isn't so much a masochist in this one, as just very enthused with reader's anger.

It's never easy working so closely with another captain, but John Price was perhaps the worst. Cocky, arrogant, brimming with the kind of self-assurance only a man who looked like him in a field like this could have.

A league all his own, really; a fact which he never let you forget, of course.

"Should give a horse its head when it knows where it's going, love," he'd murmur after you'd send your lieutenant away with detailed instructions on a task he could surely handle without your input. Ironic, that, seeing as John never seemed to tire of micromanaging you.

You hate him; tell him as much every time weeks of frustration in the field and no options other than lower ranking officers who'll get you discharged combine to find the two of you tangled up against the nearest sturdy surface. 

He only ever laughs at you. "Show me, then," he goads, and you'll scoff in disgust and slap him, or dig your nails into his flesh so hard you can feel the heat welling beneath your grip. "Just like that, love," he'll hiss, "harder, fuck," and you're never certain if he means riding or hurthing, so you do both.

Most times, he likes when you keep his hands pinned over his head as you sink onto him. He could probably break out of it easily enough (this is John Price, after all), but he never does; just lets you lean across his unreasonably long torso and plant too much of your weight on the delicate bones of his wrists. It makes for an awkward angle, but you don't mind so much when it gives you great access to his neck. This might be his favorite, and while part of you is loathe to give him anything he wants, the other part is deeply satisfied with the knowledge that you could embarrass him in front of his men just by ripping off his keffiyeh at the next strat meeting if he pisses you off too much.

Too bad you don't actually want anyone else seeing him like this, all marked up. It's not that you care about him, but there's an undeniable rush that comes with getting John Price all laid out under you, asking for your hands, your fists, anything. That's the part you're not eager to share any facet of.

He makes it hard to keep quiet, though, grunting and groaning like a pig as he does.

"Could you be any more obvious?" you hiss down at him, and his mustache twitches ominously.

"I can use my mouth some other way," he offers. You hum, considering, but when he opens his mouth again, it is not in pliant offering of his tongue.

"Saw your spar with Ghost earlier. He let you grapple him, that last time. Get him in the ribs first, next time, and -."

"I'm gonna fucking gag you." His laugh, loud and obvious, lets you know exactly what he thinks of that idea, and far be it from you to deny any opportunity to shut him up.

With your knickers in his mouth, your belt holding them in place, it should probably occur to you that this is a bit too much for casual sex. You should probably notice how eagerly John pulls you onto his lap. You definitely should have noticed the pattern of events which always lead you back here by now. You never do though, just as eager to get him hilted inside you as he is to be there. 

He groans when you sink onto him, neck cording with the effort to be heard.

"Should keep you like this all the time," you suggest, digging a thumbnail into his nipple. He arches a bit, lays back flat when you swat his pec.

"Christ, Price," you mutter as you wiggle on his long cock. It's a shame something so intuitively designed was wasted on such a right shit, you think, notching him impossibly deeper. Price swallows thickly when you squeeze around him, work him within yourself for a moment. He's content to watch you until he's not, heavy hands climbing up your thighs to encourage you to move properly. 

You swat them away. "Greedy," you admonish, but you're ready to move anyway so you do, fucking yourself onto him with long rolls of your hips. You forget most times, when gear's back on, and perfectly professional (unsettlingly self-assured) masks are back in place, what exactly keeps you stumbling back into his tent time after time. But like this, when he waits until the grip you have on his thighs gets dire and the pinch of your brow combines with your slack jaw to betray your pleasure to get his hands properly on you; like this, you remember.

John's hands are heavy and warm, coaxing and guiding. He's like this always, some squirmy little bug that's made a home of your ear likes to remind you, but it's only here - where the judgemental eyes of your officers can't follow - that you allow yourself to be guided; let him pet at you, reward you. Here, it's all justified. Honors owed. Tomorrow, surrounded by the best soldiers in the world and expected to stand on a pedestal as his equal, the doubt will set in and his praise will draw your teeth.

"Shit, John," you huff when his big palm stretches flat against your tummy and the way he pushes into you, you know he can feel himself there. He grunts, rocks up and tries to squeeze himself through the wall of your abs. You help, constricting around him, and the thick material of your belt folds under the pressure of how hard he grits his teeth, the needy thing. 

"Want you to fuck me," you tell him, and smirk when his eyes drag up to your face from where they'd been trained on your chest. He grunts, a little dazed, and follows automatically when you climb off him. You don't let go of the tail of your belt, keeping it trained over your shoulder as you settle on hand and knees. He follows, of course, unable to do much else, and hums excitedly as he climbs in behind you. 

"Hands to yourself," you warn, but he just hums again and slides his palms up your thighs like you knew he would. You yank on the belt, sending him sprawling over top of you. You only realize it was a mistake when he catches himself easily with a fist planted above your head and he chuckles darkly against your ear. You forget how big he is sometimes, how he's only here because he wants to be. He waits until you turn towards him and only pushes back into you when your eyes are locked on his.

You'd be ashamed of the way your mouth falls open if you had the capacity for it, but the way John fills you leaves room for little else. 

He knows, damn him. Fucks you so good you forget you're supposed to be in charge. He leans heavily onto you, gets your elbows to fold under you and follows you down, keeps his forearm planted on the mattress above your head. He took the belt tail out of your hand at some point, set himself free so he could murmur praises in your ear with ticklish lips. You swat at him half-heartedly but he just chuckles, holds your hands in his free one once he gets his arm tucked up under your chest. When you cum, he's still right there, panting the same air as you, mumbling about 'Go on, show me how much you fuckin' hate me.'

 You get yourself sorted enough to thread your fingers through his short hair and tug and that's all it takes. He groans deep and guttural, nips at your ear lobe so delicately it's as if he's afraid to hurt you, even after everything.

He sighs eventually, sits back on his haunches to look down at you. "So pretty, love," he murmurs and you sigh, doubt creeping in already.

"John -."

He swats your ass to shut you up and you glare back at him, any post-coital affection you might sometimes feel for him long gone. "Said you look fucking pretty like this." The words are honeyed, the tone is threatening. "Gotta fuckin' gag me cause you don't wanna hear it, huh? Well too bad, love. Not done with you yet."

You can't even complain when he buries his face in the seam of you.

[cripplecharacters]

What are possible ways an autistic character can recover from a shutdown/meltdown. And how can other characters help them recover without possibly making it worse?

Meltdowns and shutdowns are a possible brain response to overload/overwhelm. That overload comes from not being able to handle stimuli, and that stimuli can be external (like sensory input) or internal (like with emotions), or a combination of both. They're kind of like a fight (meltdown) or freeze (shutdown) fear response.

How an autistic character recovers from a meltdown or shutdown can vary, because what sets people off is different, but also because the cause of the meltdown or shutdown also varies a lot.

For example, once I had a meltdown because there was a helicopter flying very close to my apartment for almost two hours. I was already tired, and the noise was loud and constant and completely out of my control. Ear defenders were not working well. To help me during and after my meltdown, my boyfriend hugged me (because I enjoy physical touch, and especially if it's 'solid' it calms me down, got my weighted blanket for me, and talked to me only when I seemed to respond well. Then he made sure I drank water and got some rest.

These things helped because they generally are already calming to me: pressure, solid physical touch, and affection. But someone who doesn't like physical touch won't have that help them recover.

Universally, though, a meltdown or a shutdown is draining and does not feel good. It can feel a bit relieving, because usually once it's done you feel like you have less tension, but having it doesn't actually feel good – it often feels like completely losing control, and that feels awful. Things that make self-regulation harder, like being tired or frustrated, will make a meltdown a bit more likely, but they also make it harder to recover from one.

Which means that what helps people recover has a couple different elements:

One, that they are no longer in the same situation or environment that caused the shutdown/meltdown, as much as possible. This can mean physically leaving the space, or that a triggering sound is gone, or that a stressor is no longer active. Generally this is part of creating an environment that feels safe, which can often means a space with as little external stimuli as possible at least for the time being. (So quiet, sometimes dark, without asking for a lot.)

Two, that they are doing something that helps them rest and recover. Sometimes this can be a nap, or drinking some water, or having some food, or lying or sitting down as comfortably as possible. If someone's helping, they can say "Hey, I'm here for you,"

Three, that they have or do something that makes them feel good. And just like for non-autistic people, this is the most variable factor of them all. A common one can be pressure, whether that's with a weighted blanket or vest, or with another person like a hug. Having a comfort item or fidget/stim item can help as well. For some people talking can help; for some talking might be difficult or impossible after a meltdown or shutdown.

Four, just straight up time. This can be an hour or three or a whole day. It really varies. Imagine spending a huge amount of mental energy in twenty minutes, on top of being extremely stressed out. Exhausting, right? You might want to take the rest of your day pretty easy to recover.

As to other characters helping, creating a low stimuli environment is a safe bet. A partner, family member, or friend would also likely know what makes your character feel better when they're stressed — a meltdown or shutdown is an extra stress response. They can generally help by staying calm and showing their support.

Hope this helps! :)

– mod sparrow

[jiraisupportgroup]

♡ Why Do I Cry So Much? ♡

It's rough out here as a crybaby (I say lovingly as a crybaby myself). Sometimes we can feel like we cry too much, or we shouldn't be crying. Let's talk about crying, what it is, why the hell we do it so much, and what we can do about it.

♡ Why Do We Cry? ♡

Emotional Response Often the intensity of the emotion is what causes you to cry, not the emotion itself. You can cry from sadness, happiness, anger, frustration, pain, excitement, etc. Any intense emotion can make you cry.

Underlying Factors Sometimes we cry over things that we feel aren't a big deal. It can be confusing or annoying when this happens, and sometimes it can feel like we're being dramatic or dumb (we're not). Think of your emotional availability as a bucket. Once that bucket starts to overflow, you begin to cry. Things like stress, hormone imbalances, depression, anxiety, etc can either take up space in that bucket or change the size of the bucket entirely. Additionally, if things have been happening that you haven't addressed or fully processed, they just sit in the bucket and take up space. This can lead to us crying over things that we feel logically there is no reason to cry about. Your bucket is full, regardless of what the actual event that pushed it over the edge is.

Other Random Stuff Sometimes you just cry. Your eyes might be dry, you might have something in them, or your brain might just decide to start crying. I often have experiences where if I am awake for too long tears just start streaming out of my eyes. I don't feel anything when this happens, I just get too tired and start crying. Sometimes weird shit like that happens, the human body is a very strange thing and everyone is different.

♡ What Does Crying Do For Us? ♡

Emotional Regulation Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins. Oxytocin can help calm you down, and endorphins can reduce pain and give you a sense of happiness. When you cry, your body releases these "let's feel better" chemicals. That's why often times after you cry, you begin to feel a little bit better.

Physical Relaxation This ties back into the endorphins, but crying can release physical tension in your body. This is a combination of endorphins being cool and expressing your emotions through crying itself. A lot of times if we work through our emotions or express them, afterwards we feel physical tension leave our body as well. Physical tension in places like the shoulders, back, neck, jaw are often affected by our emotional states.

♡ When Does Crying Become a Problem? ♡

Lack of Release One of the whole reasons why we cry is for the emotional release that comes from it. For those of us with mental illnesses or extreme stress sometimes we don't get this release. We can feel numb, empty, or sometimes even worse after crying.

Increased or Uncontrollable Crying Crying that seemingly happens for no reason at all. Crying that goes on for hours. A sudden increase in the frequency of crying for a reason you can't identify. All of these things can be indicative of a larger underlying issue.

Affecting Daily Life Crying which prevents you from doing your daily tasks. Everyone is going to have to excuse themselves from work or school or a social gathering to cry a few times in their life, but if it becomes a frequent thing it can be very difficult to deal with. Additionally so if you have anxiety around crying in public - as this can affect your willingness or ability to do things like go grocery shopping, go to school or work, or even leave your house to do much of anything.

Inability to Cry The feeling that you need to cry or are going to start crying but aren't able to actually cry. This is fairly common in people on SSRIs or with clinical depression, but other people can experience this as well.

♡ How do I Stop Crying So Much? ♡

(gif is originally by 1041uuu - There is a text version of this gif at the end of the post under the "keep reading" - I did not realize when I made this on my computer that it would be really hard to read on a phone. The image is fine if you download it but on the website, it can be hard to read, my apologies.)

♡ Thank You For Reading ♡

There is no shame in crying! Crying is healthy for you! But if you find yourself crying very frequently there may be something else going on that needs attention. Hopefully, this post can bring you a little bit of comfort ♡

Text Version Of The Gif:

In The Short Term

Remove yourself from the trigger. Whether this be a song, a conversation, or a stressful situation, remove yourself from whatever it is. If you are not sure why you are crying, or you are crying about something that is not currently happening, move to a more comfortable place to process your emotions.

Take deep and intentional breaths. Slowing down your breathing can help you calm down, and can also help prevent hyperventilation.

Use a grounding technique. Focus your attention on something whether that be counting, tossing a ball in between your hands, a certain smell, etc.

Look upwards. This is not only good for preventing tears from falling, but can also help release tension in your shoulders and neck. often times releasing physical tension in the body can help us feel emotionally less strained as well.

In The Long Term

Keep track of what types of things or situations cause you to cry. This can help you understand what sorts of things you have emotional responses to, and you can address them from there.

Acknowledge the feelings which caused you to cry. This can help you understand what sorts of things you have emotional responses to, and you can address them from there.

Allow yourself to cry. Everyone is going to cry sometimes, it is healthy for you, and it is nothing to be ashamed about. Allow yourself to process the emotions you are feeling. Give yourself the space to express your emotions.

[masn-mount]

How about some cute fluff with new bf Jude!! xx

here’s a little blurb, I combined it with another request I got! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think. xx

1,6k words. no warnings.

"Jude's, please." His name rolled of your tongue before you could even think twice when your friend asked you if you wanted to go back to her place for the night. If you were thinking rationally then you would have taken her up on her offer but you didn't want to spend the night with anyone other than Jude. Ever since you had met him a few months ago it was rare for you to spend a night in your own apartment unless he was in another country playing a game.

"He's probably already asleep, babe." Your friend was right, he had texted you about three hours ago to ask if you were going over to his so he could stay up and wait for you. You had teased him, telling him that you would if he was the one to come and pick you up which ended up in a game of silence from his side for ten minutes before he gave in and texted you to tell you that he would get you back for that and for you to stay safe and drink loads of water.

"I'll wake him up," you frowned looking over at your friend as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. If you once again were thinking rationally then you'd remember that he had played an evening game. You knew he was tired and that he had early training the next morning but that wasn't enough to make you change your mind.

The drive to Jude's house wasn't long and once there your friend followed you to the front door. "I'll wait in the car until Jude let's you in, yeah?", she hugged you before getting back in her car.

You stood there for a few seconds, collecting your thoughts and feeling a lot more sober than before.

Your phone was pressed to your ear and you were humming quietly as you wait for Jude to answer. "Hey, babe. Y'alright?"

"I'm cold," you said, pouting as if he could see you.

"Get inside, silly girl."

"I would if you'd let me in."

"What are yo-," you could hear the rustling of his sheets as he got out of bed, mumbling something about you being crazy for not telling him you were outside the second he had picked up the phone. You wanted to tell him that he was being dramatic but bit your lip. "You're a maniac, you know that, yeah?" You're no longer hearing his voice through the phone but instead you're face to face with him.

You grin up at him, "yes, you always tell me."

"I do, don't I?" His hand reaches out to grab your own so he can pull you inside and the second you walk into his warm home the door is closed behind you and your arms wrap around his neck. You whisper that you've missed him, even if you saw him earlier that morning. "I missed you too, pretty girl. Did you have fun?" You pull away, looking up at him and nod before you press a gentle kiss to his lips. You stand there, kissing for a few seconds before you lean back to tell him that you're feet are killing you. Jude leads you to the stairs so you can sit down before he kneels down on one knee, pulling your heeled foot up onto his thigh so he can start working on untying the laces up your leg. Your hands rest on his shoulders, fingers working against his skin and you remind him that you hadn't been able to give him his post match massage today. The smile on your face makes Jude feel dizzy. "You'll just have to give me one tomorrow." You were too concentrated on looking at his arms and chest to reply, eyes taking him in and wondering how he could possibly be so beautiful and all yours. You knew he had caught you looking at him when he glanced up at you for a second before playfully rolling his eyes. "Stop staring at me," he laughs while pulling up your other foot.

"Just admiring....I love your arms." He shakes his head before turning his head to the side so he can press a kiss to your wrist.

You could tell he was tired, struggling to keep his eyes open and the task he had at hand was starting to make him frustrated. "These fucking heels are ridiculous, how do you even put them on?"

"I think they're cute!"

"Sure they are but they're still a pain to take off."

"Try walking in them all night."

"I'd rather not." He smiled, grabbing your hands and helping you up after managing to finally untie your second shoe. "Can you make it to my room? just be careful and make sure it's my door you open this time, please." He laughs before kissing your forehead, reminding you of that time you had walked into his guestroom and in the process terrified his mum who was trying to fall asleep. Your cheeks warm up at the memory because you were sure it was one of the worst possible ways to meet your boyfriend's mum for the first time.

You tell Jude to shut up and with a pat to your bum you turn around and walk up the stairs. Jude stays back, making sure you make it up the stairs without taking a tumble which earns him an eyeroll from you. "I can walk fine," you tell him and once a few seconds pass he walks to his kitchen to grab a glass, waterbottle, a snack and something to help with your headache he's sure you'll wake up with. Once his hands are full he shuts the light off and makes his way up to his room, looking forward to getting under the covers and continuing his sleep but with you by his side.

Jude is surprised to find you still standing in your dress instead of naked and under the covers. "What's with the sad face?"

"I can't reach the zip."

"Can you do anything without me?"

"Mhmm, but I don't want to."

"That's fair," he laughs and once he's put the items in his hands on the table next to your side of the bed he stops behind you. "You look beautiful tonight, so pretty." He leans forward and presses his lips to the back of your neck and shoulder when your dress is unzipped.

"Saying that as you're undressing me, always so charming, Bellingham." You tease, giggling when he pinches your hip.

"Mhmm, I did tell you earlier too." He was reffering to when you had called him before going out. You called to wish him goodluck before his game but it had ended up with you showing him your outfit and Jude repeatedly complimenting you on how good you looked, earning him a teasing from his teammate he was sitting on the bus with.

"Thank you, Jude," after a few stolen kisses and lingering touches you pull apart.

You put on the shirt Jude throws your way before ending up in his bathroom, sitting on his counter as he helps you take your makeup off. "I wanna sleep, Jude."

"I know, baby but you'll kill me if I let you sleep with your makeup on, just a minute." You knew he was right so you sat with your eyes closed as your hand slid to the back of his neck, nails scratching against the skin as he gently drags the makeup wipe against your skin before applying your moisturizer. The moisturizer he had bought along with your favorite serum and toner so you didn't have to carry them back and forth every day. The gesture may have seemed small and Jude had tried to play it off, telling you that it wasn't a big deal but that along with the purple toothbrush sitting next to his own had almost made you cry.

"All done."

"Thank you, you're too good to me, Jude." You lean forward and kiss him, feeling him smile against your lips as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you off the counter and carrying you to bed. Jude gets in right after you and once he does you make yourself comfortable, head resting on his chest and arm around his waist. "I'm sorry for waking you up."

"No need to be sorry."

"I know you're tired after your game and I show up here, middle of the night...making you stay up to take care of me."

"You're not making me do anything, y/n," he kisses the top of your head, "y'know I want you here and I like taking care of you, I also know you'd do the same for me."

"I'm sorry about the loss."

"Yeah, it was a shit game."

"I think you played really good." He laughed before squeezing your hip.

"How would you know that?" You leaned your head back so you could look up at him, smiling at how he was narrowing his eyes at you. "Do you always just say I play good for the sake of making me happy?"

"We were at this bar for a bit and they had the game on, drama queen."

"I bet you were cheering every time I touched the ball."

"You'd be happy to know I was going to fight a guy for trash talking you if the girls didn't pull me away." He laughed before leaning down, lips finding your rosy cheeks, repedetly pressing kisses to the skin before finding your lips.

"I know you'd beat his ass." You nod, telling him that of course you would before kissing him again and when your eyes start feeling too heavy you lean your head back on Jude's chest as his own head hits the pillow. "I think you're my lucky charm," you're not sure how it's possible but he pulls you even closer to his body.

"I'll be at the next one."

"You won't have a choice."

[imagrindylow]

Hi (Amit request here again hehe ) but if you’re comfortable with doing like short stuff or like headcanons could you do like the HLC reactions to you petting their hair like they’re just doing some thing or talking while sitting beside MC and theyre like zoned out a bit (MC is ) and decides to just start playing with their hair plz and thanks 😁

Hi again!! Thank you for this! I went with a little drabble of a fic for each of the guys, having each of them react to a different situation where they were frustrated and MC comforts them by petting their hair. This was fun! Hope you enjoy :)

Sebastian, Leander, Ominis, Garreth & Amit react to MC comforting them by stroking their hair.

Sebastian Sallow: The two of you were in the library where you’d spent many late evenings together, both of you reading through thick and dusty books, still in the endless search of anything that might lead to a cure for Anne. Your eyes were tired, your mind was tired, and if you felt like this, you couldn’t imagine how Sebastian must be feeling.

Closing the last book in the stack he’d combed through tonight, Sebastian let his head fall forward to the table in frustration, forehead pressed to the leather cover of the book. He thumped his head against the book a few times with a low growl of a sigh slipping through his lips in exasperation. No amount of time spent searching had brought you anywhere closer to an answer. You reached a hand out towards him, your fingers running over his hair slowly, again and again. He turned his head towards you, still resting it against the book, his other cheek laying against the cover. You remind him that he isn’t alone in this and that feeling is everything to him. He gives you a half smile and the most subtle nod, and he thanks you quietly. When he collects himself and sits back up, he leans in and kisses your cheek, making plans to meet back up tomorrow at the same time to keep on searching.

Leander Prewett: He was sitting outside in the clock tower courtyard after a rough round of crossed wands, in which he had gotten beaten quite badly – yet again – by Sebastian Sallow. You noticed him from across the way, looking worse for wear. You crossed the yard and sat beside him, offering to let him vent his frustrations on you, as he really looked like he needed someone to listen. He immediately took you up on your offer and started talking your ear off about the mistakes he thought he made in his spell combinations, and what he could have done differently that he didn’t see in the moment. He was clearly taking the loss hard. You got the feeling that he could use more than a listening ear, he was rather quite worked up, berating himself with self depreciating jokes that were getting progressively worse. You wrapped an arm around his back and pulled him in towards you, guiding his head to rest on your shoulder with your fingers in his hair. His immediate reaction was confusion and he stopped speaking when you continued gently running your fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. He took a deep breath before relaxing into your touch and resuming chatting with you, giving you a sweet smile and changing the topic to something sweeter. He was suddenly not feeling quite so down on his luck. He was truly appreciative of the gesture, and that you cared enough about him to want to calm him. Ominis Gaunt: You were awake in the common room reading late one night when Ominis emerged from the dorms and made his way silently through the room and sat on the sofa near the fireplace. You knew he had frequent nightmares, but hadn’t ever been awake yourself to see him still taken in the panic of whatever he had just been through in his sleep, until tonight

He didn’t know you were awake too, and you startled him further when you moved to sit beside him. You apologized, and he nodded, his body language stiff, and closed off. He didn’t say anything when you asked if he wanted to talk about it. Maybe the silence of your company was enough to help?

When you saw tear run down his cheek, your heart ached. This sweet boy did not deserve to feel like this, it was unfair. You wasted no time in trying to comfort him, brushing his tears away with your thumb before letting you hand slip back and into his hair and massaging his head softly. It only makes him tear up more, physical comfort like this was not something he was used to, but he loves it. He turns to you and wraps you in his arms, letting you carry on petting his hair. When he calms down and eventually heads back to sleep it’s you he’s dreaming of now. Garreth Weasley: The two of you were serving detention together. This evening’s task was writing lines. 12 inches of parchment, both sides, “I will respect the value of potions ingredients” to be written in fine, neat calligraphy. The two of you sat together at a desk in the detention chamber, supervised by Professor Sharp.

You each pulled your parchment, ink, and a quill from your respective satchels and got to work writing as quickly and neatly as you could. You finished just a few moments before Garreth, and watched him write the last line onto the page. The two of you got up together, to hand your lines in, Sharp looking over your parchment first, and giving you an approving nod. When he looked over Garreth’s parchment, he looked disgusted, the two of you watched in disbelief as the lines started to vanish from the parchment, slowly but surely. He had accidentally grabbed his bottle of Zonko’s Vanishing Ink from his bag rather than his standard ink. Sharp chose to be cruel, and insisted Garreth start the punishment over.

He sat back down, so furious with himself for his careless error. You sat back down beside him, which in and of itself shocked him, you were free to go about your evening! With a huff he slammed the correct ink bottle down on the table an muttered under his breath while starting his lines over, his hand shaking in anger. You stilled his hand with yours and brought your hand to his hair, combing the curls back and out of his face. You promised to wait for him, you’d gotten in trouble together after all. He leaned into your touch, suddenly this wasn’t the worst punishment. He finished writing quickly, hoping to spend more time with you and get your hands back into his hair. Amit Thakkar: He had spent the better part of his evening studying for an exam that he had the follow day after lunch. He carefully went over his text book chapter by chapter, reviewing all of the material that he knew would be on the test. He ended up falling asleep studying, his book in his lap and papers strewn on his bed, slumped back against his headboard.

When he woke up in the morning, he took a last scan over his notes and felt good about the exam this afternoon. As he got his books and parchments in order, he noticed an assignment due this morning that he had totally forgotten about in the midst of his exam prep. This was terrible! He had no time to complete it now, and receiving a failing grade on the assignment would surely bring down his grade overall in the class.

You knew something was wrong when he didn’t greet you first period when you sat beside him. When the professor came round to collect the assignments, you were shocked when Amit had nothing to turn in. His head was buried in his hands. You stroked his hair gently, whispering to him that he was more than just his grade in a class. He gave you a soft smile, but the disappointment was still clear on his face. Though he appreciated your efforts, and as much as he loved your affection, he was still going to beat himself up over this. He brushed your hand away gently, he wasn't going to let himself get further behind by letting you distract him.