#lack of accountability

[beseeingyouinmydreams]

I’m struggling really hard with the mess surrounding Liam and everyone screaming he’s to blame he took the drugs. People don’t just pickup drugs one day and decide to become an addict. Shit pushes them over the edge and drugs become a coping mechanism to drown out the emptiness and pain. The shit that happened to him in the past and the people the egged it on and abused him and used him. It adds up. Yes he took drugs on his own but he was so far gone a long time ago and drugs were an escape from a life he wasn’t happy in. I’m so sick of humans screaming that persons to blame when mental illness and drugs take a life. People do not often just decide drugs are fun and start taking them for fun. Mental illness is often created due to past trauma and experiences and He suffered tremendously in a very large open way. He was bullied at a young age and then torn down constantly while being on a global stage/platform. The pressures he was under from external sources; managers, labels, teams, parents, cyber bullies and fandoms and pseudo managers at the end were more than most people will ever know. And anyone that knew anything about him knew how much pressure he put on himself. When your world starts falling apart left and right and those pressures increase and nothing outside of you brings you fulfillment or peace … the fact that he lived as long as he did is honestly a testament to his strength. His demise was honestly a time bomb waiting for years. He had his parents who cared I’m sure but every single person in his life was always after him for whatever he could give and he being the people pleaser he was never could say no, having yes men give into your every whim when you’re struggling so much is tragic. This world has so many fuckn issues. The way we treat each other in general, the way we treat ourselves, the way people blame and tear down people with mental illness and addiction issues is sickening. You hand them vices then tear them down for using them. You build celebs to unreachable highs then tear them down and give them no allowances for being human. I will go to my grave disgusted by the people around him who took his life. The people in his life who used and failed him are absolutely to blame as well. Period.

Losing Liam has deeply affected how I view humanity. I’m truly struggling finding a bright spot in the world we live in a place of hope. ( esp now with trump running the country into the ground and all my work I’ve killed my self for the last two years seeming more and more like a waste). I don’t know how humans change for the better at this point, how this world changes for the better when everything I see lately seems so damn bleak and humans with no compassion or care for others.

I don’t know who I’m ranting to no one out there is gunna read this and care. It won’t change anything but I needed a place to rant so 🤷🏻‍♀️😒🤦🏻‍♀️

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

Topics Of Childhood Traumas Endured From An Abusive Narcissistic Mother: Knowledge For Self Awareness

The Complex & Challenging World of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers are individuals who have a narcissistic personality disorder, which is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. When this disorder is present in a mother, it can have a profound impact on her children, shaping their self-esteem, emotional well-being, and relationships.

Common Traits of Narcissistic Mothers

Narcissistic mothers often exhibit certain traits that can be damaging to their children. Some of these traits include:

1. *Self-centeredness*: Narcissistic mothers tend to be extremely self-focused, prioritizing their own needs and desires above those of their children.

2. *Emotional unavailability*: They may be emotionally distant or unresponsive to their children's needs, leaving them feeling unheard, unseen, and un validated.

3. *Criticism and blame*: Narcissistic mothers often criticize and blame their children, making them feel inadequate, worthless, or responsible for their mother's emotions.

4. *Gaslighting*: They may manipulate their children's perceptions, making them doubt their own sanity, memory, or experiences.

5. *Emotional manipulation*: Narcissistic mothers may use guilt, anger, or self-pity to control their children's emotions and behaviors.

6. *Lack of boundaries*: They may have difficulty respecting their children's boundaries, leading to emotional overload, invasion of privacy, or exploitation.

7. *Grandiosity*: Narcissistic mothers may have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, expecting special treatment, admiration, or automatic compliance from their children.

The Impact on Children

Growing up with a narcissistic mother can have long-lasting effects on a child's emotional and psychological well-being. Some common consequences include:

1. *Low self-esteem*: Children of narcissistic mothers may struggle with self-doubt, self-worth, and confidence.

2. *Anxiety and depression*: The emotional turmoil and unpredictability of a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.

3. *People-pleasing*: Children may develop people-pleasing tendencies, trying to appease their mother's demands and avoid conflict.

4. *Difficulty with boundaries*: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries in their own relationships, leading to emotional exhaustion or exploitation.

5. *Trauma and stress*: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of a narcissistic mother can lead to trauma, PTSD, or C-PTSD.

The Enablers of Narcissistic Mothers: Understanding the Complex Web of Manipulation

Narcissistic mothers often have a network of enablers who support and enable their behavior, often unintentionally. These enablers can be family members, friends, or even mental health professionals who are manipulated by the narcissistic mother's charm, guilt, and emotional blackmail.

Who are the Enablers?

Enablers of narcissistic mothers can include:

1. _The Father or Partner_: The father or partner of the narcissistic mother may be an enabler, often due to their own fear of conflict, desire to maintain peace, or lack of understanding of the narcissistic personality disorder.

2. _Siblings_: Siblings of the narcissistic mother's children may be enablers, often due to their own feelings of guilt, loyalty, or fear of being targeted by the narcissistic mother's anger.

3. _Extended Family Members_: Extended family members, such as grandparents, aunts, or uncles, may be enablers, often due to their own lack of understanding of the narcissistic personality disorder or their desire to maintain family harmony.

4. _Friends_: Friends of the narcissistic mother may be enablers, often due to their own admiration of the mother's charm, intelligence, or accomplishments.

5. _Mental Health Professionals_: Unfortunately, some mental health professionals may be enablers, often due to their own lack of training or experience in working with narcissistic personality disorder.

How are Enablers Manipulated?

Enablers are often manipulated by the narcissistic mother's:

1. _Charm_: Narcissistic mothers can be extremely charming and charismatic, making it difficult for enablers to see their true nature.

2. _Guilt_: Narcissistic mothers often use guilt to manipulate enablers, making them feel responsible for their emotions, needs, or behaviors.

3. _Emotional Blackmail_: Narcissistic mothers may use emotional blackmail to control enablers, threatening to withdraw their love, attention, or approval if they don't comply with their demands.

4. _Gaslighting_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting tactics to manipulate enablers, making them doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity.

5. _Playing the Victim_: Narcissistic mothers often play the victim, making enablers feel sorry for them and more likely to support and enable their behavior.

Impact of Enablers on Targeted Victims

The presence of enablers can have a significant impact on the victims of narcissistic mothers, including:

1. _Increased Isolation_: Enablers can isolate victims from support and resources, making it more difficult for them to seek help or escape the abusive situation.

2. _Validating the Narcissistic Mother's Behavior_: Enablers can validate the narcissistic mother's behavior, making victims feel like they are the problem, rather than the mother's behavior.

3. _Reducing Accountability_: Enablers can reduce the narcissistic mother's accountability, allowing her to continue her abusive behavior without consequences.

4. _Increasing Stress and Trauma_: The presence of enablers can increase stress and trauma for victims, making it more difficult for them to cope with the abusive situation.

The Complex and Challenging Relationship Between a Narcissist Mother & an Empathetic Daughter

The relationship between a narcissist mother and an empathetic daughter can be particularly complex and challenging. The narcissist mother's need for admiration, attention, and control can clash with the empathetic daughter's natural inclination to understand, support, and please others.

Characteristics of the Empathetic Daughter

Empathetic daughters of narcissist mothers often exhibit certain characteristics, including:

1. _High emotional sensitivity_: They may be highly attuned to the emotions of others, including their mother's, and feel a strong need to respond to and manage those emotions.

2. _Strong sense of responsibility_: They may feel a deep sense of responsibility to care for and support their mother, even if it means sacrificing their own needs and desires.

3. _Tendency to people-please_: They may strive to please their mother and avoid conflict, even if it means compromising their own values and boundaries.

4. _Difficulty setting boundaries_: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries with their mother, leading to emotional overload and burnout.

5. _Self-doubt and self-blame_: They may doubt their own perceptions, feelings, and needs, and blame themselves for their mother's behavior.

The Narcissist Mother's Impact on the Empathetic Daughter

The narcissist mother's behavior can have a profound impact on the empathetic daughter, including:

1. _Emotional manipulation_: The mother may use guilt, anger, or self-pity to control and manipulate the daughter's emotions and behaviors.

2. _Gaslighting_: The mother may deny or distort reality, making the daughter question her own perceptions and sanity.

3. _Emotional invalidation_: The mother may dismiss or minimize the daughter's feelings and needs, making her feel unheard and un validated.

4. _Lack of emotional support_: The mother may be unavailable or unresponsive to the daughter's emotional needs, leaving her feeling alone and unsupported.

5. _Trauma and stress_: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of the narcissist mother can lead to trauma, anxiety, and depression in the empathetic daughter.

Tips for Empathetic Daughters

1. _Practice self-compassion_: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience, just as you would a close friend.

2. _Develop a growth mindset_: Recognize that you are capable of growth, change, and development, and that you deserve to live a fulfilling and happy life.

3. _Surround yourself with positive role models_: Seek out positive, supportive relationships with people who uplift and encourage you.

4. _Focus on your strengths_: Celebrate your accomplishments, skills, and talents, and recognize your worth and value as a person.

5. _Create a safe and nurturing environment_: Surround yourself with people, places, and things that bring you joy, comfort, and peace.

Remember, healing from a narcissist mother's behavior takes time, patience, and support. Be gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.

The Complex and Hurtful Behavior of Narcissistic Mothers Towards Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often treat their children poorly, and their behavior can be particularly hurtful and damaging to their daughters. There are several reasons why a narcissistic mother may treat her children, especially her daughter, poorly:

1. _Jealousy and Competition_: Narcissistic mothers may feel jealous of their daughter's youth, beauty, and potential, and may compete with her for attention and admiration.

2. _Fear of Being Replaced_: A narcissistic mother may fear that her daughter will replace her as the center of attention, and may try to undermine her daughter's confidence and self-esteem to prevent this from happening.

3. _Lack of Empathy_: Narcissistic mothers often lack empathy and may not be able to understand or relate to their daughter's feelings and needs.

4. _Need for Control_: Narcissistic mothers may use their children, especially their daughter, as a way to exert control and power over someone else's life.

5. _Unresolved Childhood Issues_: A narcissistic mother may have unresolved childhood issues, such as trauma or neglect, that she is now acting out on her own daughter.

6. _Societal and Cultural Pressures_: Narcissistic mothers may be influenced by societal and cultural pressures that emphasize the importance of physical appearance, achievement, and conformity, and may try to mold their daughter into a perfect reflection of themselves.

7. _Insecurity and Self-Doubt_: Despite their grandiose exterior, narcissistic mothers may be insecure and self-doubting, and may take out their feelings of inadequacy on their daughter.

Why the Daughter May Be Targeted More Than the Mothers Sons

Daughters of narcissistic mothers may be targeted more than sons for several reasons:

1. _Societal Expectations_: Daughters are often expected to be more nurturing and caring, and may be held to a higher standard of emotional labor and responsibility.

2. _Competition for Attention_: Daughters may be seen as competitors for attention and admiration, and may be treated poorly as a result.

3. _Similarity and Identification_: Daughters may be more likely to identify with their mother and strive to please her, which can make them more vulnerable to their mother's manipulation and abuse.

4. _Lack of Male Role Models_: In some cases, the absence of a positive male role model may contribute to the daughter being targeted more than the sons.

The Impact on the Daughter

The impact of a narcissistic mother's behavior on her daughter can be severe and long-lasting, including:

1. _Low Self-Esteem_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may struggle with low self-esteem and self-doubt, and may feel unworthy of love and attention.

2. _Anxiety and Depression_: The chronic stress and emotional manipulation of a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

3. _Difficulty with Relationships_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may struggle with relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships.

4. _People-Pleasing and Codependency_: Daughters of narcissistic mothers may develop people-pleasing and codependent tendencies, and may struggle to set healthy boundaries and prioritize their own needs.

The Manipulative Tactics of Narcissistic Mothers: Why They May Discourage Their Daughter's Happiness and Progress

Narcissistic mothers often use manipulative tactics to control and influence their daughter's decisions, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress. Here are some possible reasons why a narcissistic mother might tell her daughter to stop seeing someone who is good for her or to stop doing something that brings her daughter happiness and purpose:

1. _Fear of Loss of Control_: Narcissistic mothers may feel threatened by their daughter's independence and autonomy, and may try to control their daughter's decisions to maintain a sense of power and dominance.

2. _Jealousy and Envy_: Narcissistic mothers may be jealous of their daughter's happiness and success, and may feel envious of the attention and admiration their daughter receives from others.

3. _Need for Drama and Attention_: Narcissistic mothers may create drama and conflict to get attention and sympathy from their daughter, and may use guilt and emotional manipulation to control their daughter's decisions.

4. _Lack of Empathy and Understanding_: Narcissistic mothers may not be able to understand or relate to their daughter's feelings and needs, and may prioritize their own desires and expectations over their daughter's happiness and well-being.

5. _Fear of Being Replaced_: Narcissistic mothers may fear that their daughter's happiness and success will lead to their daughter becoming more independent and less reliant on them, and may try to sabotage their daughter's relationships and goals to maintain a sense of control and importance.

6. _Unrealistic Expectations_: Narcissistic mothers may have unrealistic expectations for their daughter's life and relationships, and may try to impose their own values and beliefs on their daughter, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress.

7. _Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and emotional manipulation to make their daughter doubt their own perceptions and decisions, and may try to convince their daughter that they are not capable of making good choices or achieving their goals.

Why Narcissistic Mothers May Use Reassurances of Love to Manipulate Their Daughter

Narcissistic mothers may use reassurances of love to manipulate their daughter into doing what they want, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress. Here are some possible reasons why:

1. _Emotional Blackmail_: Narcissistic mothers may use emotional blackmail to control their daughter's decisions, by making their daughter feel guilty or obligated to do what they want in order to prove their love and devotion.

2. _Gaslighting and Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and manipulation to make their daughter doubt their own perceptions and decisions, and may try to convince their daughter that they are acting in their best interests, even if it means discouraging their daughter's happiness and progress.

3. _Lack of Boundaries_: Narcissistic mothers may not respect their daughter's boundaries or autonomy, and may use reassurances of love to justify their intrusive and controlling behavior.

4. _Need for Validation_: Narcissistic mothers may need validation and admiration from their daughter, and may use reassurances of love to manipulate their daughter into providing them with the attention and praise they crave.

The Complex and Manipulative Behavior of Narcissistic Mothers: Buying Love and Guilt-Tripping Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often use gifts and material possessions to buy their children's love and affection, and to manipulate them into feeling guilty and obligated to reciprocate with attention and devotion. This behavior can be particularly damaging to children, as it can create a sense of entitlement, guilt, and anxiety, and can undermine their self-esteem and autonomy.

Why Narcissistic Mothers Need to Buy Their Children's Love

Narcissistic mothers may need to buy their children's love for several reasons:

1. _Insecurities and Low Self-Esteem_: Narcissistic mothers may have deep-seated insecurities and low self-esteem, and may use gifts and material possessions to compensate for their feelings of inadequacy and to seek validation from their children.

2. _Need for Control and Power_: Narcissistic mothers may use gifts and material possessions to control and manipulate their children, and to maintain a sense of power and dominance in the relationship.

3. _Fear of Abandonment and Rejection_: Narcissistic mothers may fear that their children will abandon or reject them if they don't provide them with gifts and material possessions, and may use these tactics to keep their children emotionally invested in the relationship.

4. _Lack of Emotional Intimacy_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle with emotional intimacy and may use gifts and material possessions as a substitute for genuine emotional connection and affection.

The Impact on Children When Narcissistic Mothers Buy Their Love

The impact of a narcissistic mother's behavior on their children can be severe and long-lasting, including:

1. _Guilt and Anxiety_: Children may feel guilty and anxious about accepting gifts and material possessions from their mother, and may worry about being able to reciprocate or repay her in some way.

2. _Entitlement and Expectations_: Children may develop a sense of entitlement and expectation, and may feel that they deserve to be given gifts and material possessions without having to earn or work for them.

3. _Low Self-Esteem and Self-Worth_: Children may struggle with low self-esteem and self-worth, and may feel that their value and worth are tied to the gifts and material possessions they receive from their mother.

4. _Difficulty with Boundaries and Assertiveness_: Children may struggle with setting and maintaining healthy boundaries, and may have difficulty asserting their own needs and desires in the face of their mother's manipulative behavior.

The Age-Old Question: Can a Narcissistic Mother Truly Love Her Child?

This is a question that has puzzled many adult children of narcissistic mothers, and one that has sparked intense debate and discussion. Based on our conversation and the information shared, I'll offer my perspective on this complex issue.

Is a Narcissistic Mother’s Love Actually Love?

Narcissistic mothers are capable of experiencing strong emotions, including affection, attachment, and even what may appear to be love. However, their love is often conditional, self-serving, and transactional. They may use their child as a source of narcissistic supply, which means they rely on their child to fulfill their emotional needs, validate their self-worth, and provide a sense of importance.

In many cases, a narcissistic mother's "love" is actually a manifestation of her own self-interest, rather than a genuine, unconditional love for her child. She may use guilt, manipulation, and emotional blackmail to control her child's behavior and ensure they remain devoted to her.

Does My Narcissistic Mother Hate Me More Than She Loves Me?

It's possible that your narcissistic mother's behavior towards you is driven more by a desire to control and manipulate you, rather than a genuine hatred or love for you. Narcissistic mothers often struggle with intense emotions, including anger, resentment, and jealousy, which can be directed towards their child.

However, it's essential to remember that a narcissistic mother's behavior is not necessarily a reflection of your worth or lovability. Her actions and words are often a projection of her own insecurities, fears, and unmet emotional needs.

Is my Narcissistic Mother Capable of Love?

While narcissistic mothers can experience strong emotions, their capacity for genuine, unconditional love is often impaired. They may struggle to empathize with their child's feelings, needs, and desires, and may prioritize their own interests over their child's well-being.

In some cases, a narcissistic mother may be capable of loving her child in a limited, self-serving way, but this love is often tainted by her own narcissistic tendencies. She may use her child as a means to fulfill her own emotional needs, rather than prioritizing her child's needs and well-being.

What Does This Mean for You?

It's essential to recognize that your narcissistic mother's behavior is not a reflection of your worth or lovability. You deserve to be loved, respected, and valued for who you are, and it's crucial to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek out positive, supportive relationships.

Remember that you can't change your mother's behavior or force her to love you in a healthy, unconditional way. However, you can take steps to protect yourself from her toxic behavior, set boundaries, and cultivate a sense of self-worth and self-love that is independent of her opinions or actions.

Ultimately, the question of whether your narcissistic mother truly loves you is complex and multifaceted. While she may be capable of experiencing strong emotions, her love is often conditional, self-serving, and transactional. It's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and seek out positive, supportive relationships that nourish and validate your sense of self-worth.

The Lack of Physical Affection: Why Narcissistic Mothers May Not Hug Their Children

Narcissistic mothers often struggle with physical affection, including hugging their children. This can be a painful and confusing experience for their kids, who may feel unloved, unwanted, or unimportant. There are several reasons why narcissistic mothers may not hug their children:

1. _Emotional Unavailability_: Narcissistic mothers may be emotionally unavailable, meaning they are not attuned to their child's emotional needs or feelings. This can make it difficult for them to provide physical affection, including hugs.

2. _Lack of Empathy_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle with empathy, which is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. This can make it challenging for them to connect with their child on a physical level, including through hugs.

3. _Fear of Intimacy_: Narcissistic mothers may fear intimacy, including physical touch, because it can make them feel vulnerable or exposed. This can lead them to avoid physical affection, including hugs, as a way to maintain their emotional distance.

4. _Need for Control_: Narcissistic mothers may use physical affection, including hugs, as a way to control or manipulate their child. They may withhold hugs or physical affection as a way to punish or reward their child, rather than providing it as a genuine expression of love or affection.

5. _Inability to Show Vulnerability_: Narcissistic mothers may struggle to show vulnerability, including through physical affection like hugs. They may see vulnerability as a weakness, rather than a strength, and may avoid it as a way to maintain their emotional armor.

6. _Prioritizing Self-Needs_: Narcissistic mothers may prioritize their own needs and desires over their child's needs, including their need for physical affection. They may be more focused on their own interests, desires, and needs, rather than providing emotional support or physical affection to their child.

7. _Trauma or Abuse_: In some cases, narcissistic mothers may have experienced trauma or abuse in their own childhood, which can affect their ability to provide physical affection, including hugs, to their own children.

What Narcissistic abuse symptoms looks like

common narcissistic abuse symptoms include:



1. *Low Self-Esteem*: You may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and low self-worth, which can be a result of your mother's constant criticism, belittling, and emotional manipulation.

2. *Anxiety and Depression*: The stress and emotional pain of dealing with a narcissistic mother can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

3. *Difficulty with Emotional Regulation*: You may struggle to manage your emotions, leading to mood swings, irritability, and emotional reactivity.

4. *People-Pleasing and Codependency*: You may have a tendency to prioritize others' needs over your own, leading to codependent relationships and an excessive need for validation.

5. *Fear of Abandonment*: The fear of being abandoned or rejected by your mother can lead to anxiety, clinginess, or an excessive need for control in relationships.

6. *Hypervigilance*: You may be constantly on the lookout for potential threats or dangers, making it difficult to relax or feel safe.

7. *Physical Symptoms*: Narcissistic trauma can manifest physically, including chronic pain, fatigue, or gastrointestinal issues.

8. *Difficulty with Intimacy*: You may struggle with intimacy, trust, or emotional connection in relationships due to the emotional unavailability of your mother.

9. *Self-Sabotage*: You may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors, such as self-destructive habits or toxic relationships, as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma.

10. *Lack of Boundaries*: You may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries, leading to emotional exhaustion, resentment, and burnout.

Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse With Other Relationships

Effects On Other Relationships Adult Children Have Outside Of The Relationship With The Narcissistic Mothers:

1. *Difficulty with Trust*: You may struggle to trust others, including partners, friends, or family members, due to the betrayals and emotional manipulation by your mother.

2. *People-Pleasing*: You may prioritize others' needs over your own, leading to codependent relationships and an excessive need for validation.

3. *Attracting Narcissistic Partners*: You may be drawn to narcissistic partners or friends, repeating the patterns of your childhood and perpetuating the trauma.

4. *Difficulty with Communication*: You may struggle to express your needs, feelings, and boundaries effectively, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings in relationships.

How Narcissistic Mothers Can Contribute to Agoraphobia in Adult Children

Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder that involves a fear of being in public places, crowds, or situations where escape might be difficult. Adult children of narcissistic mothers may be more prone to developing agoraphobia due to the emotional trauma and abuse they experienced in their childhood.

Narcissistic Mother's Behavior & Agoraphobia

Narcissistic mothers often engage in behaviors that can contribute to their child's development of agoraphobia, such as:

1. _Emotional Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use guilt, shame, or self-pity to control their child's behavior, making them feel anxious or fearful about leaving the house or being in public.

2. _Constant Criticism_: Narcissistic mothers may constantly criticize their child, making them feel inadequate, stupid, or unprepared to handle the outside world.

3. _Overprotection_: Narcissistic mothers may be overprotective, making their child feel like they are not capable of taking care of themselves or making decisions.

4. _Gaslighting_: Narcissistic mothers may gaslight their child, making them question their own perceptions, memories, or sanity, which can lead to feelings of anxiety and fear.

How Agoraphobia Manifests in Everyday Life

For an adult child suffering from narcissistic trauma and agoraphobia, day-to-day life can be extremely challenging. They may experience:

1. _Anxiety Attacks_: Panic attacks or anxiety attacks when they are in public places, such as shopping malls, public transportation, or crowded areas.

2. _Avoidance Behaviors_: Avoiding social situations, events, or activities that involve leaving the house or being in public.

3. _Dependence on Others_: Relying on others, such as family members or friends, to accompany them in public or perform tasks for them.

4. _Hypervigilance_: Being constantly on the lookout for potential dangers or threats, such as crowds, noise, or unfamiliar environments.

5. _Physical Symptoms_: Experiencing physical symptoms, such as a racing heart, sweating, or trembling, when they are in public or anticipating a public situation.

Challenges of Dealing with Agoraphobia

Dealing with agoraphobia can be challenging for several reasons:

1. _Limited Access to Resources_: Agoraphobia can limit a person's access to resources, such as employment, education, or social services, which can exacerbate feelings of isolation and anxiety.

2. _Social Isolation_: Agoraphobia can lead to social isolation, which can worsen symptoms of anxiety, depression, and trauma.

3. _Difficulty with Daily Tasks_: Agoraphobia can make it difficult to perform daily tasks, such as grocery shopping, paying bills, cleaning the house, self Hygiene, or attending appointments.

4. _Impact on Relationships_: Agoraphobia can strain relationships with family and friends, who may not understand the condition or may feel frustrated by the person's avoidance behaviors.

5. _Stigma and Shame_: Agoraphobia can be stigmatized, and individuals may feel ashamed or embarrassed about their condition, which can prevent them from seeking help.

Daily Struggles of an Adult Child with Agoraphobia

An adult child with agoraphobia may struggle with:

1. _Morning Anxiety_: Waking up with anxiety or dread about facing the day and potential public situations.

2. _Avoiding Appointments_: Avoiding medical appointments, therapy sessions, or other important events due to fear of public places.

3. _Limited Social Life_: Having a limited social life due to avoidance of social situations or public events.

4. _Difficulty with Self-Care_: Struggling to perform self-care tasks, such as exercise, due to fear of public places or crowds.

5. _Feelings of Guilt and Shame_: Experiencing feelings of guilt and shame about their condition, which can worsen symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Why Children Run Away from Home: The Impact of Narcissistic Mothers

Running away from home is a desperate attempt by children to escape the emotional pain, abuse, and neglect they experience at the hands of their narcissistic mother. Children who grow up in a household with a narcissistic mother may feel like they are walking on eggshells, never knowing when their mother's mood will shift or when they will be criticized, belittled, or punished.

Reasons Why Children Run Away from Home

Children may run away from home for various reasons, including:

1. _Emotional Abuse_: Children may feel emotionally abused, neglected, or unloved, leading them to seek escape from the toxic environment.

2. _Physical Abuse_: Children may experience physical abuse, such as hitting, pushing, or slapping, which can lead to a desire to flee the home.

3. _Lack of Emotional Support_: Children may feel like they have no one to turn to, no emotional support, and no safe space to express their feelings.

4. _Gaslighting and Manipulation_: Narcissistic mothers may use gaslighting and manipulation tactics to control their children, making them feel crazy, guilty, or responsible for their mother's behavior.

5. _Fear of Abandonment_: Children may fear being abandoned or rejected by their mother, leading them to run away as a way to avoid the emotional pain of being left behind.

The Impact of Being Told "You're the Problem"

When children are told that they are the problem, that they are the reason for their mother's behavior, it can have a profound impact on their self-esteem, self-worth, and mental health. This type of messaging can lead to:

1. _Internalized Shame and Guilt_: Children may internalize the shame and guilt, feeling like they are inherently flawed or defective.

2. _Low Self-Esteem_: Children may develop low self-esteem, feeling like they are not good enough, smart enough, or lovable enough.

3. _Anxiety and Depression_: Children may experience anxiety and depression, feeling like they are walking on eggshells, never knowing when their mother's mood will shift.

4. _Difficulty with Emotional Regulation_: Children may struggle with emotional regulation, feeling like they are unable to manage their emotions or express themselves in a healthy way.

The Long-Term Effects of Running Away from Home

Running away from home can have long-term effects on a child's life, including:

1. _Difficulty with Trust_: Children may struggle with trust issues, feeling like they cannot trust others or themselves.

2. _Anxiety and Depression_: Children may experience anxiety and depression, feeling like they are always on the lookout for potential dangers or threats.

3. _Substance Abuse_: Children may turn to substance abuse as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma they experienced.

4. _Difficulty with Intimacy_: Children may struggle with intimacy, feeling like they are unable to form healthy, loving relationships.

Remember, running away from home is not a solution to the problem, but rather a symptom of a larger issue. It's essential to address the underlying trauma and abuse, rather than blaming the child for their behavior. By providing a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental space, we can help children heal and recover from the trauma of growing up with a narcissistic mother.

The Dangers of Allowing a Child to Run Away and Neglecting Their Safety

When a child runs away from home, they are often fleeing from a situation that feels unbearable or threatening to them. However, running away can also put them in danger, and neglecting their safety can have severe and long-lasting consequences.

Dangers of Running Away

Some of the dangers that a child may face when running away from home include:

1. _Physical Harm_: A child may be at risk of physical harm, such as injury, assault, or exploitation, when they are on the streets or in unfamiliar environments.

2. _Emotional Trauma_: Running away can be emotionally traumatic, and a child may experience feelings of fear, anxiety, and depression.

3. _Substance Abuse_: A child may turn to substance abuse as a way to cope with the emotional pain and trauma they are experiencing.

4. _Sexual Exploitation_: A child may be at risk of sexual exploitation, including prostitution, human trafficking, or other forms of abuse.

5. _Homelessness_: A child may become homeless, which can lead to a range of other problems, including poverty, hunger, and poor health.

6. _Loss of Education_: A child may miss out on education, which can have long-term consequences for their future prospects and well-being.

7. _Mental Health Issues_: Running away can exacerbate existing mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

8. _Difficulty with Trust_: A child may struggle with trust issues, feeling like they cannot trust others or themselves.

9. _Increased Risk of Suicide_: A child may be at increased risk of suicide, particularly if they are experiencing feelings of hopelessness, despair, or isolation.

Dangers of Neglecting a Child's Safety

Neglecting a child's safety can have severe and long-lasting consequences, including:

1. _Increased Risk of Harm_: A child may be at increased risk of physical or emotional harm if their safety is neglected.

2. _Loss of Trust_: A child may lose trust in their caregivers or authorities, which can make it more difficult for them to seek help or support in the future.

3. _Difficulty with Emotional Regulation_: A child may struggle with emotional regulation, feeling like they are unable to manage their emotions or express themselves in a healthy way.

4. _Increased Risk of Substance Abuse_: A child may be at increased risk of substance abuse, particularly if they are experiencing emotional pain or trauma.

5. _Difficulty with Intimacy_: A child may struggle with intimacy, feeling like they are unable to form healthy, loving relationships.

6. _Increased Risk of Mental Health Issues_: A child may be at increased risk of mental health issues, such as depression, anxiety, or PTSD, if their safety is neglected.

7. _Loss of Opportunities_: A child may miss out on opportunities, such as education or career advancement, if their safety is neglected.

8. _Difficulty with Self-Esteem_: A child may struggle with self-esteem, feeling like they are not worthy of love, care, or respect.

9. _Increased Risk of Exploitation_: A child may be at increased risk of exploitation, including emotional, physical, or financial exploitation.

The Distinction between a Narcissist & an Empath with Narcissistic Tendencies

Narcissistic personality disorder is a complex and multifaceted condition that can be challenging to understand and navigate. While both narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies can exhibit similar behaviors, there are distinct differences between the two.

Narcissists: Aware but Unwilling to Change

Narcissists are often aware of their problematic behavior, but they don't care about the impact it has on others. They may even be vocal about their refusal to change, citing their "right" to behave as they please. Narcissists tend to:

1. *Lack empathy*: They struggle to understand and relate to the feelings and needs of others.

2. *Be self-centered*: Their primary focus is on themselves, their own needs, and their own desires.

3. *Manipulate and exploit*: They use charm, guilt, and coercion to get what they want from others.

4. *Refuse accountability*: They blame others, make excuses, or deny responsibility for their actions.

5. *Prioritize their own interests*: They put their own needs and desires above those of others, even if it means harming or exploiting them.

Narcissists often know they have a problem, but they don't see it as a problem. They may even take pride in their ability to manipulate and control others. They are unlikely to seek help or change their behavior, as they believe they are entitled to your respect without putting in the effort to change their behavior.

Empaths with Narcissistic Tendencies: Aware and Motivated to Change

Empaths, on the other hand, are highly sensitive and empathetic individuals who have developed narcissistic tendencies as a result of childhood trauma and abuse. They may exhibit similar behaviors to narcissists, such as:

1. *People-pleasing*: They may try to appease others to avoid conflict or rejection.

2. *Self-doubt*: They may struggle with feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem.

3. *Emotional reactivity*: They may become overly emotional or reactive in response to stress or triggers.

4. *Boundary issues*: They may struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries with others.

However, unlike narcissists, empaths with narcissistic tendencies:

1. *Recognize their flaws*: They are aware of their problematic behavior and are motivated to change.

2. *Take responsibility*: They acknowledge their mistakes and take steps to make amends.

3. *Seek help and support*: They are willing to seek therapy, counseling, or support groups to work through their issues.

4. *Prioritize self-awareness and growth*: They strive to understand themselves and others, and to develop healthier relationships and communication patterns.

Empaths with narcissistic tendencies are often deeply unhappy with their behavior and are driven to change. They may feel ashamed or guilty about their actions and are willing to do the work necessary to overcome their flaws and develop more empathetic and compassionate relationships with others.

Key Differences

The primary differences between narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies are:

1. *Motivation*: Narcissists are motivated by a desire for power, control, and self-aggrandizement, while empaths are motivated by a desire to understand and connect with others.

2. *Empathy*: Narcissists lack empathy, while empaths are highly empathetic and sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.

3. *Accountability*: Narcissists refuse to take responsibility for their actions, while empaths acknowledge their mistakes and take steps to make amends.

4. *Personal growth*: Narcissists are unlikely to seek help or change their behavior, while empaths are motivated to learn, grow, and develop healthier relationships and communication patterns.

In conclusion, while both narcissists and empaths with narcissistic tendencies can exhibit problematic behavior, the key differences lie in their motivation, empathy, accountability, and willingness to change. Empaths with narcissistic tendencies are aware of their flaws and are motivated to change, whereas narcissists are aware of their behavior but refuse to change.

Healing and Recovery

If you're an adult child of a narcissistic mother, it's essential to recognize that you're not alone, and there is hope for healing and recovery. Some steps you can take include:

1. *Seeking therapy*: Work with a therapist who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder and trauma to process your emotions and develop coping strategies.

2. *Setting boundaries*: Establish clear boundaries with your mother to protect your emotional well-being and maintain a sense of self.

3. *Self-care*: Prioritize self-care, engaging in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment.

4. *Support groups*: Join a support group or online community to connect with others who have experienced similar challenges.

5. *Education and self-awareness*: Learn about narcissistic personality disorder, its effects on children, and the importance of self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-care.

Remember, healing from a narcissistic mother's behavior takes time, patience, and support. Be gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to reach out for help when you need it.

Recovery Stages:

1. *Awareness*: Recognizing the trauma and its effects on your life. 😧

2. *Acceptance*: Accepting the trauma and its impact on your relationships and self-esteem. 😐

3. *Grief*: Processing the emotions and grief associated with the trauma. 😓

4. *Anger*: Acknowledging and expressing anger towards your mother and the trauma. 😡

5. *Forgiveness*: Forgiving yourself and your mother, not for her sake, but for yours. 😮‍💨

6. *Healing*: Engaging in self-care, therapy, and support groups to rebuild your self-esteem and develop a sense of self-worth. 🤕

7. *Integration*: Integrating the traumatic experiences into your narrative, developing a sense of self-awareness, and moving forward with your 🤨

Closing the Chapter on Narcissistic Abuse: Finding Closure and Moving On

As you prepare to say goodbye to your mom and close the chapter on narcissistic abuse, it's essential to acknowledge the pain and trauma you've endured. It's understandable that you're seeking closure, but it's crucial to recognize that closure may not come in the way you expect. Your mom's refusal to work on herself and acknowledge her narcissistic tendencies means that you may never receive the apology or validation you deserve.

_Accepting the Lack of Closure Truly Desired_

Instead of waiting for closure, focus on accepting the reality of your situation. Recognize that your mom's behavior is not your responsibility, and you cannot force her to change or seek help. Accept that you've done everything you can to address the issues and that it's time to move on.

_Finding Closure Within Yourself_

Closure is not something that someone else can give you; it's something you must find within yourself. Through therapy and self-reflection, you've gained a deeper understanding of your mom's behavior and the impact it's had on your life. You've also developed the skills and strategies to protect yourself from further manipulation and abuse.

_Proud of Your Progress_

Be proud of the progress you've made in recognizing and addressing the narcissistic abuse. It takes immense courage and strength to confront the trauma and pain of your past. Acknowledge the efforts you've put into therapy, self-care, and personal growth. Celebrate the fact that you're no longer blind to your mom's manipulation and that you're taking steps to break free from her toxic influence.

_Letting Go of the Need for Validation_

It's essential to let go of the need for validation from your mom. You don't need her approval or acknowledgment to be worthy or deserving of love and respect. You are enough, regardless of her opinion or behavior. Remember that you've been brainwashed into seeking her validation, but you're now free to break free from that cycle.

_Moving On & Healing_

As you move on from this chapter of your life, focus on healing and growth. Prioritize self-care, surround yourself with supportive people, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember that healing is a journey, and it's okay to take your time. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this new chapter.

_Wrapping Up and Saying Goodbye_

As you wrap up this blog and say goodbye to your mom, remember that you're not saying goodbye to the pain or trauma. You're saying goodbye to the toxic relationship and the hold it's had on your life. You're taking back control and choosing to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

_Final Thoughts_

In closing, remember that you are strong, capable, and deserving of love and respect. You've survived the unimaginable, and you're now thriving. Don't let your mom's behavior define you; instead, define yourself by your strength, resilience, and courage. Keep moving forward, and know that you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to support you on your journey towards healing and growth.

_Goodbye, Mom_

As I say goodbye to you, Mom, I want you to know that I'm not saying goodbye to the memories or the experiences we shared. I'm saying goodbye to the toxic relationship and the pain you've caused me. I'm taking back control of my life, and I'm choosing to prioritize my own well-being and happiness. I hope that one day you'll seek help and work on yourself, but until then, I need to protect myself and move on.

_The End_

This is the end of this chapter, but it's not the end of my story. I'm excited to see what the future holds, and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned and the growth I've experienced. Thank you to everyone who has supported me on this journey, and I hope that my story can help others who are struggling with narcissistic abuse.

[furiousgoldfish]

it's all 'you wanted it, you wanted this' with the abusers until you want them to take accountability for their actions and apologize and stop doing it, then suddenly it's 'noo i'm shifting the blame to you' and they do it again, almost as if they never do anything just because you wanted it, and specifically do the things you don't want.

[tiggymalvern]

This is the problem.

Maximum fines for pollution are often set by law. The corporations doing the worst polluting are making billions. The law does not allow for fines of billions. And nobody is personally responsible for any of it because the corporation is an entity.

The CEO being paid $20m annually either a) knows about the pollution and doesn't care or b) doesn't know about the pollution, in which case they're irresponsible and should be fired.

I honestly don't care which it is. In some way, individuals are responsible for pollution, not a corporate entity, and individuals should be held responsible.

We need a major change in the law. The people in charge of a company need to be responsible for that company. If the CEO was personally liable for paying the corporation's fines, company policies towards risk assessment would change overnight. Clean-up fees of $100m after a spill would no longer be an acceptable risk if the CEO was going to lose their McMansion to pay for it.

But that will never happen. So we're stuck with a world in which corporations blatantly ignore environmental regulations and regard even the largest fines as an additional 0.1% tax on their business.

Source

Source (2)

[ruminate88]

Ways they invalidate you as a defense mechanism: my personal experiences (this is a lot to unpack)

I had broken up with my recent ex, but I was very confused because of his robotic response to it. At some point, we start talking again and suddenly we’re both opening up deeper than we did when we were together, which was also confusing. (he probably purposely did this to reengage in the abuse cycle with me)

Anyway, I finally opened up about my mental health with him because he shared some things with me first, and I felt comfortable doing that. I told him how I had been depressed for a few years, and he acts so frustrated and says how it’s so unfair that he never knew this about me … (not like I was keeping it a big secret; he just doesn’t want to acknowledge my pain, so he pretends to be caught off guard.)

Yet he can’t emphasize or maturely give me advice, so he attempted to invalidate the situation by now praising my beauty and telling me ‘but you’re too beautiful to be depressed’ 😳 Putting the focus on my looks to avoid dealing with my emotions.

He now hits on me and says how sexy I am and how I always know what he likes and all the ways that I turn him on … the conversation went sexual, and eventually we were exchanging nudes and talking dirty to each other. (He had totally ignored and changed the whole conversation.) 

I thought possibly we could be getting back together, but the next morning I woke up to him sending me a whole book in a text message. He says that I don’t respect our friendship and that he couldn’t believe I would send him more nudes and talk dirty to him when we’re supposed to ‘just be friends’ now. Basically hinting that I’m a slut….. 😝💔

This was another way for him to avoid accountability and to invalidate the fact that he’s the one that hit on me and blurred the boundaries of our friendship. Although I could’ve turned him down, I didn’t because I was still very much attracted to him and confused by the whole experience.

He tells me we need to ‘respect our friendship’ but that very night, what does he do? He hits on me some more!!!!! Continues to flirt with me and say how much I turn him on and how badly he wants me that I know what he likes the most out of everyone and I continue to engage with him 😩

He’s playing with my emotions. He needs me to want him at all times because he can’t bear the thought of me not ever wanting him or being obsessed with him!! (It hurts his fragile ego if I don’t want him anymore)

All week, he would set boundaries and then break them afterwards. Constantly saying how he wants me, but then consistently acting frustrated with me too, almost like he’s irritated that he wants me.

On a Friday night, we were heated in conversation about sex and about how much we want each other still. Then, mid conversation, he just stops. He tells me that this time is for real, that we really do have to keep our boundaries and stop hurting our friendship and disrespecting each other. 🙄

The next morning though, he’s texting me good morning and asking how I’m doing….. Jeez. I tell him I’m very much still depressed and because he cannot empathize or understand how to deal with me, he once again tries to invalidate me and gaslight me in the moment to avoid his actions.

He actually says to me, ‘ but God doesn’t want you to be this way’ 🤣 (he never talked about God before) he knew that I had talked about God a lot on my Instagram post and I think he was trying to use that in the moment to not only make me feel crazy for being depressed, but he also doesn’t want to take accountability for the entire week where he was hot and cold with me. The push-pull dynamic.

He can’t deal with his own actions and feelings, let alone deal with mine.

I can look back at this experience now with more understanding that this all goes back to his lack of accountability and empathy. His selfish needs and lack of boundaries too. His need for control and power over me. He also is craving deep intimacy while his ego is telling him he doesn’t need anybody. 😢

That man knew I always expressed care for him, but I feel he struggled to really trust or believe it. His entitlement and self-centered mindset also tells him that he deserves to own me and is even better than me. Takes my niceness towards him as being naive or weak. My vulnerability scares him.

I openly expressed my emotions as much as I could, especially when I wasn’t in the relationship anymore, I wasn’t as on eggshells as I was before, and I think that startled him how I lost my fear of him.

He lost full control over me and I know he attempted to regain it after we broke up and he just couldn’t because I was starting to open my eyes about him and how much he’s going to continually hurt me.

Blocking his number was one of the hardest things I ever did, but I knew I didn’t have a choice. It was either block his number and save myself or go back to that toxic relationship and let him keep messing with my head!!

Needing my love and care for his childhood pain, but not even accepting it or able to explain it to himself well enough. I’m not his judge honestly, but I do see the situations we faced back then more clearly now. ❤️‍🩹

I believe he operated back then from low self worth and trauma. Also, he probably gets pleasure out of inflicting pain on me to make himself feel better knowing he has that kind of power over someone like me…. Sad. I do forgive him and have written about these experiences countless times so I can deal with the pain and make sense of it.

5/22/25

[exiledintoascension]

Video provided by Styxhexenhammer666

They trying to manifest another pandemic, huh. Not over here. Too many people still giving all the who that is who in the last one, cosmic level side eye.

[hexjulia]

[neolithic hottie who's been easing back into the modern dating scene]: so when he said he was a pot caster i thought he was a good artisan with a reliable income. But turns out he just talks to himself all day mostly. People don't even come to listen and he doesn't know shit about ceramics. Sometimes one of his friends is there though.

[One eyed priest-king who's been frozen in the ice for 10 000 years next to a mammoth but is starting to thaw]: girl no wayyyyy. What is slip casting a pot btw. The use of that technique (not to be confused with slipware) purportedly only dates back to the Tang Era (618–917).

[bodyofbrilliance]

Intention Behavior Gap - The Gap Between Intention and Behavior

Intention Behavior Gap - The Gap Between Intention and Behavior

Bridging the Intention-Behavior Gap: How to Turn Good Intentions into Action How many times have you set a goal or made a decision to do something, only to find yourself not following through? You might have all the right intentions, but your actions don’t always align with them. This common struggle is known as the intention-behavior gap, and it can be a frustrating experience for many. Whether…

[sjerzgirl]

Just learned about this. They were trying to hide how much their business investments has earned. Despite this immense wealth, they still make their members pay to build new church buildings and temples through property assessments issued to members as well as making members pay for their own missions to preach. Meanwhile, leadership gets richer and richer.

https://www.sec.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2023-35

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

A Father's Absence

In childhood's eyes, I searched for you,

A father's presence, a love that's true.

But like a ghost, you vanished from sight,

Leaving me with tears, and endless nights.

Years went by, and I grew old,

The ache within me, never to grow cold.

I learned to navigate life's plodding pace,

Without your guidance, or a father's embracing face.

In adolescence's turmoil, I needed your hand,

To calm the storms, and understand.

But like a mirage, you remained out of reach,

A constant reminder, of a love that wouldn't breach.

Now in adulthood's realm, I face the test,

Of forgiveness and healing, and doing my best.

But the scars of your absence, still linger and sting,

A bittersweet reminder, of a love that didn't sing.

Oh, the frustration and anger, that I've had to abide,

The sleepless nights, and tears that I've tried to hide.

The longing for a father, who'd be there to care,

To offer wisdom, and show me he'd be there to share.

But still I hold on, to the hope in my heart,

That someday you'll return, and we'll never be apart.

That you'll see the pain, that your absence has caused,

And you'll make amends, and be the father that I've applauded.

Until that day, I'll hold on to my pride,

And continue to rise, above the pain that you've provided.

I'll be the best version, of myself that I can be,

And maybe someday, you'll see, and regret your absentee.

[cultural-derealization]

And then slowly try to spin the block after time passes..They think we ain't notice & act like all is forgiven.. O_o

[exiledintoascension]

https://www.instagram.com/deepikanarayanbhardwaj/

I though America and The West was terrible for men. India eclipsed all of that....5 times over. Fucking hell.

[yourapple56-blog]

This case is a perfect example of both the irresponsibility of the MSM, the protection it gets and the lack of remorse it has!

[starthesociety]

It’s true. I’ve run an online Astro community for years and it’s Aquarius that cannot take it. I stg.

[sunlit-mess]

Just give it one more day

[pumpkin-the-girlie-girl-vixen]

The Audacity of People: A Reflection on Accountability

As I sit here, staring at the words on my screen, I can't help but feel a sense of frustration and anger. "The audacity of people, to blame you for how you reacted, but never recognized what they did to make you react that way." These words resonate deeply with me, and I'm sure with many others who have experienced the same kind of emotional manipulation.

How many times have we been told to "hold ourselves accountable" by someone who doesn't practice what they preach? How many times have we been made to feel like we're the problem, when in reality, we're just reacting to the hurtful words or actions of someone else?

It's a classic case of gaslighting, where the perpetrator tries to shift the blame onto the victim, making them doubt their own perceptions and emotions. It's a tactic used to avoid taking responsibility for one's actions, and to maintain a sense of power and control over the other person.

I remember the countless times I've been told to "calm down" or "get over it" when I've reacted to someone's hurtful comment or behavior. I've been made to feel like I'm the one who's overreacting, like I'm the one who's being too sensitive. But the truth is, I'm not the one who's being hurtful or abusive. I'm just the one who's reacting to the hurt that's been inflicted upon me.

It's time for us to stop being blamed for how we react to the hurtful words and actions of others. It's time for us to stop being made to feel like we're the problem, when in reality, we're just trying to protect ourselves from further harm. It's time for us to hold others accountable for their actions, and to demand that they take responsibility for the hurt they've caused.

We deserve better than to be treated like this. We deserve to be respected, to be heard, and to be believed. We deserve to be treated with kindness, compassion, and empathy. And we deserve to be held accountable for our actions, just like everyone else.

So the next time someone tries to blame you for how you reacted, remember that you're not the problem. You're just a person who's trying to protect yourself from further harm. And don't let anyone make you feel otherwise.