#let him have the walrus too

[calypso-mbk]

We've got Edwin x Monty (a crow) and Edwin x The Cat King (a cat), so what I'm really asking is...

Edwin x Tragic Mick when???

[gayfilmbro]

watched tusk today that film is so funny and also so harrowing like wow let me lie on the floor for a min

[theworldisaplace]

with apologies to lewis carroll

The Walrus and her Fairy friend Were strolling down the block; They paused and then debated on Which one of them should knock: ‘You know, this might be easier If we just pick the lock!'

‘If I’m the one to do it And they find me standing here, Do you suppose,' the Walrus asked, That they would shriek in fear?' The Fairy said ‘I bet they would,’ And shed a bitter tear.

The Walrus and the Fairy then Walked on a little more, And came upon the house That they’d identified before. They flipped a coin to see which one Would now approach the door.

‘O Tumblrina, let me in!' The Walrus did beseech. ‘A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk, For I have much to teach.’ (The sounds of this discussion Were within the Fairy’s reach.)

The Tumblr user looked at him, But never a word they said: Too wowed by this new circumstance To even shake their head. ‘Would you prefer,’ the Walrus sighed, A Fairy’s knock instead?’

‘The time has come,' the Fairy said, Accepting his new role, ‘We must admit this visit Is in service of a goal.’ And then the two together cried, ‘We’re here to take a poll!’

[tgcg]

ill break your shit adam

warning for adult lang

fuck you adam sandler

youre lucky karkat likes you

stupid fuck sees an amnesiac girl

and asks her can i marry you

that lady got issues mentally

you still down to do shit anally

deplorable zit on the ass of romanza

karkat told me to put that shit in this stanza

do raps even count as having stanzas

slam poetry tyke at preschool im no manza

youd probably jack it to a log with holes if they were wet ones

sitting on that stupid dock with her papa cracking cold ones

piece of shit id push you off that dock and watch you bubbling

kick your ass like her shitty bro failed when you were troubling

penguins dont quack like fucking ducks you dumbass

thats not part of the rap i just think that youre a dumbass

back to the rap sandler i bet you couldnt drop a single bar

too busy picking up stupid women at the stupid women bar

who even let you into hawaii

also did i say karkat liked you i was kidding he wants to kick your heinie

seriously watching that shit again made him start slamming his head into the cushions and screaming i had to pry them out his hands and he almost bit me

sorry i forgot i was rapping again

piece of shit forgot that you can like women while dating other men

still not over that chuck and larry shit adam

if you just said to the gov you were bi you coulda had em

firefighter of the year? well try putting out this heat

karkats gonna beat your ass like you do every night to your meat

gotta ask is this shit wish fulfilment for you

gotta say larry deserved better than you

i could treat him way better than you not in a gay way though

i just mean youre a massive sleaze basically the worlds shittiest bro

back to 50 first dates man sandler your shit is a bore

the stupid bits with schneider got my ass addicted to snore

if i was that stupid walrus id tear your ass to shreds

if i was that penguin i would also tear your ass to shreds

itd be harder but id still do it

bro fuck adam sandler im through it

===

TT: Wow. Bravo, Dave. You've outdone yourself.

TG: i wrote this one exceptionally fucking terrible to represent my inner darkness

TG: i can never unwatch those cinematic fossilized turds theyre like time capsules devoted to everything wrong with america

TG: you dont even understand how egregious that was

TT: I can sense the utter malaise and contempt in every word. It's beautiful.

TT: One particularly interesting point I'd like to make is the fact that you managed to refer to butts in a song about a male target, 10 times in the span of 37 lines. It's not an exorbitant amount, but it appears to be a running theme in your works. Very interesting, if you ask me --

TG: nooooo

TG: nope no

TG: not this shit again

TG: listen one of them is karkats fault

===

CG: ROSE, YOU JUST DON'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S DOING HERE AT ALL.

TT: No? Please, enlighten me Karkat.

CG: GLADLY.

CG: HE STARTS OUT WITH THE FRIGGIN WORD "ANAL" PRECEDING ALL OF THE OTHER MENTIONS, OF COURSE IT'S ON PURPOSE. IT INSTILLS THAT IMAGERY IN YOUR NUGBONE THROUGHOUT THE TRACK.

CG: AND YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED A RECURRING USE OF THE WORD "SHIT", IN TANDEM. BOG-STANDARD FOR DAVE, RIGHT? NO! IT'S PART OF THE EFFECT!

CG: MY THESIS: ADAM SANDLER MOVIES ARE PIECES OF ABSOLUTE SHIT AND THE REFERENCES TO WORDS LIKE "LOG" AND "SHIT" AND "ASS" ARE TO INVOKE THE SENSE OF TAKING A MASSIVE DUMP THROUGHOUT THE SPAN OF THE RAP, WHICH BY ALL MEANS WOULD BE AN EQUAL OR GREATER USE OF YOUR TIME THAN WATCHING THOSE MOVIES.

CG: RIGHT, DAVE?

TG: … yeah

TT: Okay, I'm willing to concede to that. On this subject matter, as an avid terrible movie enjoyer, you admittedly know better than myself.

CG: SHOULD KNOW BETTER.

TT: And you love them anyways.

CG: YEAH.

TG: hes right

TG: you hear that shit hes right

TG: fuck death of the author im verifying that interpretation

[mclennonlgbt]

(JUST LIKE) STARTING OVER WAS DEFINITELY FOR PAUL – a compilation

A meaningful wordplay As you know, John attached great importance to the lyrics of his songs. He liked to smuggle in word games and hidden meanings. Let's look at a fragment of the lyrics of "(Just Like) Starting Over". It's time to spread our wings and fly Wings was Paul's band in the 1970s.

Don't let another day go by

"Another Day" is a song by Paul and Linda that was released as the A-side of a non-album single in February 1971. It was Paul's debut single, following the Beatles break-up in 1970. (Sidenote: giving credits to both himself and Linda, Paul broke up the Lennon-McCartney partnership, angering Allen Klein).

my love

"My Love" is a 1973 song by Wings. The single was viewed as Wings' first significant success.

2. The demos

In the first demo, John uses the word "walrus":

Everyday we used to make it love so why can’t we be making love – it’s easy. The time has come, the walrus said, for you and me to stay in bed again, it’ll be just like starting over

The walrus is a famous motif from Beatles songs. In the song "I Am The Walrus" (1967) John declares that he is the titular walrus, a year later in "Glass Onion" he stated: „And here’s another clue to you all – the walrus was Paul”. In "God" (1970) John sings: "I was the walrus." In an interview from 1969 or 1970, George jokes: „And if you are listening, I am the walrus too”. Regardless of which Beatles was the walrus, John is for sure giving us an interesting clue here.

As for „in bed”:

Here's another fascinating demo... This requires no comment. It's just that John suddenly referred to "Why Don't We Do it In the Road", a song by Paul from the Beatles era.

EDIT:

The whole fragment is:

Just take your clothes off honey, and stick your nose in money.. why don’t we… do it in the road?! (Laughs) A little hotel where we used to screw A little place down in Montauk Just you, me, the cook and the servants too

As @i-am-the-oyster pointed out (the screen is theirs) - it's a 17 minute drive from Paul's house in the Hamptons to Montauk Motel.

3. John explaining who the song is for

„I’m not aiming, I am not aiming at 16 year olds. If they can dig it, please dig it. But when I was singing and writing this and working with her, I was visualizing all the people of my age group from the 60s. Being in their 30s and 40s now, just like me, and having wives and children and having gone through everything together, I am singing to them! I hope the young kids like it as well, but I’m really talking to the people that grew up with me and saying: „Here I am now, how are you? How’s your relationship going? Did you get through it all? Wasn’t the 70s a drag? You know, here we are, let’s try and make the 80s good, you know, because it’s still up to us to make what we can of it. It’s not out of our control”. I still believe in love, peace. I still believe in positive thinking when I can do it. I’m not always positive but when I am, I try and project it”.

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rqxPx2Tvf6A

Let’s point out that the song which convinced John to come out of retirement was „Coming up” by Paul. You want a love to last forever One that will never fade away I want to help you with your problem Stick around, I say

(…)

You want some peace and understanding So everybody can be free I know that we can get together We can make it, stick with me

BONUS (this is not evidence or premise, but maybe Paul understood that the song was addressed to him): Paul's reaction to the song after John's death.

„…Time passed. Paul locked the door of his home studio and played (Just Like) Starting Over, the first single from Double Fantasy. Top volume. For days”.

- Christopher Sandford, „McCartney”

EDIT:

(it's also @i-am-the-oyster's reveal): One Sweet Dream podcast did an interview where May Pang agreed with the host (JL)SO was for Paul and emphasised that it wasn't about Yoko -- it's a patrons-only episode so I can't link it, but it's April 2023, around the 1h29 mark).

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Rough Winter | Yandere Polar-Bear Hybrid Pirate

There was something oddly eerie about the stillness of a biome meant to remain frozen. It was far too cold to hear the screech of even the most resilient birds; who wouldn’t migrate here if they could. Far too frigid for the reaching branches of any tree, with no soil beds for any determined sprout. 

No. 

No natural force would stay in the Arctic Wastelands. 

No one but Captain Poal.

Captain Poal and the crew he’d chained to his cursed vessel. 

“Land-Ho! We’re home, boys!”

The word felt like salt in the wound. You hadn’t been able to go to your home…your real home in what felt like ages. But what would be left? For a crew from a frigid biome, they had quite the fascination with fire. 

“Aw is the pup getting homesick?” 

Sen had a cruel and broad smile across his face as the ship sped forward to the floating fortress. The boat rocked with the jostling waves. You no longer needed to clutch the sides, easily maintaining your balance. It hurt to know this was no longer foreign to you.

“Senfried! Don’t be so rude. (Y/n)’s never been to this home before. This will be their first real welcome home.”

“Ooops~I forgot~”

Sen didn’t forget. He was just cruel like that. 

Despite his cruelness, he didn’t strike you as a kindred spirit to Poal. You wondered if he would have said the same if he had been there. Feeling the alcoholic buzz of the Summer festival, the sauntering joy of many living beings. Only for it all to dissipate in the suffocating haze of a burning inferno. And if it wasn’t enough that the sound of your home caving in on itself wasn’t enough then the helpless screams of all of those trapped inside would do it for you. 

The enflamed ashes skim your face as your eyes fight the smoke to burn the images of the late escapees into your mind's eye. Burning bodies both sprinting for water and falling out in a desperate call for death; it was a horrifying scene. 

Would he still be laughing then? 

Laughing as he watched the melting hands reach out to you one last time. 

Would he do that?

“(Y/n)? Are you alright?”

You let yourself return to the present, to Flynn placing a large hand on your back. The comforting gesture does the opposite, as you recall the same action being done that same night. You stepped away, ignoring those downcast expressions behind his glasses. Even Sen seemed to hesitate as you turned to woefully look at the rushing, raging waters.

Sen opened his mouth to speak, closing it as the Captain’s presence appeared with a thud. Booming footsteps commanded their attention and should have garnered yours. There wasn’t a need to look up when you already memorized the clinking seal-skinned boots. 

“Oi Oi is there an issue over here?”

Sen scrambled with a quick response. 

“Yes, Cap’n we’re all good here! Just excited to be home is all!”

His tone was light as usual, with no evidence of his previous pestering. Flynn on the other hand didn’t bother to let his hazel gaze point to you, before discretely pushing his spectacles up his nose. 

“Yes, we are all…ecstatic. ”

The Captain’s round and furry ears flicked in annoyance; silently communicating with his trusted first mate. Who nodded with the bow of his head. The Captain nodded upwards–a proper dismissal among friends.

“Well me and Senfield will prepare the rest of the crew. While our treasures may be compartmentalized they have yet to be moved.”

“Wait why do I have to come?”

“Senfield.”

“Don’t Senfield me! You always ack–! Hey”

Flynn dragged the hybrid by the stump of a tail before shifting to simply nudge him forward; effortlessly launching Sen ahead. Sen wasn’t a particularly big guy, given his species but not many could hold the line against a walrus hybrid. Especially not one as big as Flynn was.

Needless to say, your privacy was gifted by their absence.

Leaving you and the Captain alone on the deck of the ship. 

“What’s the problem, Snowball?”

You snarled at the nickname refusing to look up at him. He was probably smiling; casually flaunting the pearly razors so often stained with blood. 

“Don’t call me that!”

His fishy and sweltering breath fanned against your ear. When he had moved closer you’d never know. Speed and strength weren’t the traits he was lacking; that title belonged to his emotions. His sense of empathy and compassion was either nonexistent or skewed so much that it didn’t matter. 

“I’ll call you whatever I want.”

It wasn’t cold anymore. It was hot. Suffocating. 

His unclothed front was pressed into your back, his jacket-covered arms trapping your front. He was so insatiably warm. It felt like a fever had taken hold of you—an unnatural heat incurred by the chilling atmosphere.

“This is all your fault…I hate you Poal.”

The heat shook behind you. Vibrating with his stifled giggle. He clutched onto you tighter; muscles constricting you into his shaking embrace. His pointy nose dug into the top of your head, nuzzling into the woolen hat he gifted you before. 

“No, you don’t.” 

He let a steaming hand into your coat, shoving past the layers of cloth you’d put in place. You didn’t fight him, you couldn’t stop him as he reached for the skin above your heart. 

“You’re just mad that you lost.”

Retreating his hand from your protective layers he let you weakly cover up; before holding you by your cheeks. Turning your head to look up at the increasing size of the pirate’s fortress he squeezed at the resistance of your frown.

“Look at it. It’ll be one of your homes.”

“It will never be.”

“Don’t be coy. You’ll have a favorite eventually.”

“And you think it will be here?”

He turned you to him, pressing you into the side of the boat, clutching your face with a new ferocity. His head was already leveled above you coming closer to cast a shadow on his pale face framed by his unruly white locks as he looked down at you. In a fierce aquamarine glare, he doesn’t smile, looking as desperate as he is frustrated.

“I think it will be me.”

It wouldn’t help to struggle against his grip risking the pricking of his claws. So you simply returned his gaze knowing full well that backing down now would be your downfall. He backed his head away letting the light of the sun illuminate his face as he spread his mouth into a dastardly grin.

“You’re such a hurricane!”

He smashed his lips against yours. Quickly sucking on your pouting lips just barely nibbling before pulling away. He released you,  giggling to himself once more as he watched you recover. You rubbed your hand over your lip checking for any punctures glaring at him nonetheless. That seemed to make him smile wider, dashing away to knock on the door to the ship’s hold. 

“Buckle up Baby! We’re headed home to the fortress!”

Muffled shouts and hollers sounded from below. This would be your roughest Winter yet.

[corrodedcoughin]

From the outside Eddie presents as a person with very little care for the opinions of others. This however is a shield, an armour class so high that no roll is beating him. Or so he likes to think. Truth is, it's shitty armour that would dissolve in water. But he can't let anyone know that. Needs to keep up appearances, needs to keep performing. 

This would all be fine if it weren't for the fact that Steve Harrington is aiming a metaphorical water pistol at his heart at point blank range. 

When did it start? Oh, who knows! 

Eddie knows, oh Eddie knows alright. Shamefully it wasn't even a mind-meltingly-he’s-so-hot-take-me-now moment that made Eddie's weevil brain latch onto the idea of Steve and never let go. No. It was during lunch period, because is there really a more romantic setting to have your heart shattered and reformed into the image of your new love? You see Eddie was attacked! Ambushed by his feelings! The traitors! He was mid conversation with Jeff about the best unconventional food combinations. Eddie was arguing for bananas with sliced cheese and was not being given a fair hearing on the matter when he turned his head at the most inopportune moment. The moment that ruined everything. Because in that head swivel Eddie saw Steve being Steve. He saw 'The Hair' without the mask. Steve had been tapped on the shoulder by one of his sport boys and had turned around to display a perfectly normal serious face. Except, on that serious face was two carrot sticks placed in his mouth like walrus tusks before he decided to further ruin Eddie by breaking out in the most disgustingly beautiful fit of laughter. Then! Then he had the audacity to take the sticks out and shove them up his nose. This was complete idiot behaviour and Eddie had never been more endeared in his life. Fuck. 

'Ground control to Munson, anyone in there?' Before Eddie could register what was happening Gareth had appeared from behind and started knocking on Eddie's head. Gareth could try all he wanted, Eddie was in a severe case of ooey gooey heart eyes over The Societal Norm that was Steve Harrington. 

'You okay man? You look vaguely constipated. More than usual I mean. You eat too many of those vitamin gummies again?' Gareth had taken a seat next to Eddie now and was promptly swapping out their lunch trays. His chocolate pudding to Eddie, Eddie's vanilla to Jeff and two applesauces to Ian. In return Gareth got an extra pretzel, no sweet tooth on that boy, which they all agreed was concerning and confirmed their theory that Gareth did not have earthly origins. 

'Dude shut up. And anyway it was ONE time. AND WHO TOLD YOU?' He didn't mean to shout but when a man's bowel's movements are brought up in a public setting what else is he to do? And...and oh no. Oh no, no. Eddie had turned back to get another sneaky look at Steve and was met by the whole table staring back. The whole table including Steve. Steve that was now making eye contact with Eddie while smiling in a deliciously confused way. Delicious?? Why was he giving Steve food adjectives? Who was he becoming? Next thing he'll be wanting to take a bite out of him!...maybe...maybe that wasn't such a bad idea actually, file that in his ‘think about later’ box.

'Harrington is totally staring at you. Eddie stop looking at him, stop! Do not engage with them! I swear to god I just want one lunch without drama!' Jeff said, finally breaking into Eddie's consciousness. 

Feeling himself going bright red Eddie returned to his body just as Steve waved with a carrot stick in hand. Bright red was now a thing of the past. Eddie's face was crimson. Eddie’s entire body could probably be used as a beacon for airplanes looking to land. Eddie's only option now was to seek employment as a court jester in order to make use of his permanently altered complexion.  Internally screaming, and maybe very quietly outwardly screaming too, Eddie swivelled abruptly in his seat. Fixed his gaze on the table in front of him and absolutely did not think about pretty Steve looked with a vegetable stuck in his face holes. Except he did and didn’t stop thinking about it for a long time.

[zorilleerrant]

Niko: If you were home alone when you weren't expecting anyone and you heard a knock at your door, who would you be more surprised to see, a fairy or a walrus?

Edwin: Why would Mick be at our door?

Charles: Maybe he's dropping something off.

Edwin: Surely we would be expecting him then?

Crystal: Plus we already kind of have fairies.

Niko: That's true, but if they knocked at the door that would mean they escaped and that would be really surprising.

Edwin: They are not fairies; they are small gods.

Charles: Sure, but what if they were fairies?

Edwin: They aren't fairies!

Crystal: And we never resolved why Mick was dropping something off. Like, does he have a case for us?

Niko: Aw, if Mick had a case for us, I would help him. We can totally help him, you guys.

Charles: You know, you're not wrong, if he had a case for us I wouldn't be surprised to hear from him at all.

Edwin: I don't even know if fairies exist, let alone why they should need our help.

Niko: Wait, do the fairies have a case, too?

Crystal: If a fairy knocked at our door it's a good bet it would have a case for us, yeah. Or why else would it show up?

Charles: Yeah, but we already know Mick.

Edwin: Why is Mick knocking at our door?

[cannedpickledpeaches]

Insert Your Name (8)

Mafia!Jade Leech x Mafia!Reader

Link to series masterlist!

Notes and TW: Whether or not this is a story, does it really matter if characters are living fleshed out lives in their own perception of the world? This series will have mentions of blood, violence, crime (kidnapping, attempted assassination, extortion), and harassment, as one might expect from a mafia AU. Please enjoy!

Tags: @guava-writes @itszzmoon @twstsandturns @myteacupisempty @rou-luxe @chikitasmol @night-shadowblood-writes2

You walk next to Jade along the beach, feet sinking into the sand. Your shoes dangle from their tied laces in your hand. The feeling of the grains shifting around your feet, the sound of waves lapping on the shore, they feel soothing in a way. Even though the winds are stronger today and there are dangers you can’t see lurking beneath the waves, you don’t worry because you have Jade beside you. Reliable, constant, safe. You can’t even be sure how long you’ve been thinking of him this way anymore.

An hour earlier, you were in a meeting with Walrus about the dead assassin’s body. Apparently, there are multiple layers of magic shrouding it that require some time to break. Nothing conclusive yet, but at least there’s a glimmer of hope. You wonder if Walrus is dragging out the process on purpose so that she can ensure the cooperation of the Leech Mafia lasts throughout her coup.

“In a way,” you say, “Walrus reminds me of you.”

“How so?” Jade is so very fond of playing dumb. It takes one to know one, and he knows. You can tell from his perfectly unreadable smile throughout that meeting that his guard is always up around her.

“She’s a gluttonous schemer who pretends to be kind and harmless, but secretly plots to gain the most out of anyone.”

He chuckles. “Thank you.”

Of course. It is just like him to take it as a compliment. Jade takes your shoes from you and you let him carry them for you as though he’s just your pack mule instead of the temporary head of the Leech Mafia. The setting sun casts an orange glow over the beach, turning the frothy tips of the waters into flames and Jade’s irises into molten gold. You catch his gaze and you smile into the eye contact.

“I like that about you.”

His eyes soften, molten gold shining with slightly mismatched hues and matching depth. You can’t look away. Not when he returns your smile with eyes like that.

“What part of it do you like? The scheming? The gluttony?”

“Now you’re just fishing for compliments.”

“But of course. I need to know what you like best about me.”

“Why?”

Jade chuckles. “The more information I have on any topic, the better prepared I will be for any situation, don’t you agree? In my position, ignorance is a sin.”

You certainly agree. The more you know, the better. But in this case, what is he even preparing for? He could probably cook up some sort of blackmail against you with the most innocuous tidbit of information.

You shake those thoughts away. You made him a promise. What was it that he said? At least promise me this. Even if I turn on the entire world, promise you will trust that I will not betray you.

He made you a promise, too. The promise that he would never lie to you again echoes in your heart. Even if those words were a lie and he said all that to lower your guard, you’ve decided to cross that bridge when you come to it. No point in fretting about something that may not come to pass. You have a thousand other things to worry about, and you’ve decided to trust Jade enough that this will not be on the list. If you end up in a sticky situation, you will sit and think of a solution, just as you have always done.

“Honestly,” you say, gazing out at the white-tipped waves, “I like it all. Your cunning, your lies and half-truths. It’s admirable. These intangible things have been forged into your weapons and armour. I only complain when it inconveniences me.”

It’s the truth. As much as you suspect and are wary of him, Jade is someone you admire and respect. Besides, if you truly disliked him, you would not be walking along the beach alone with him at sunset. You would not have stuck with him for fifteen years. You would not have kept on bringing pebbles and plants and fungi and bugs and any other number of curious things to the shore in your preteen years no matter how much money he offered.

“I would listen to all your complaints,” he says with nothing but sincerity in his voice.

“No promises not to inconvenience me, huh.”

“I promised not to lie to you. It is a bit of creative omission on my part.”

You chuckle. Silence settles on your shoulders like a blanket, comfortable and familiar. It’s nice to have a moment like this where you aren’t thinking too hard about everything. A reprieve filled with the ambience of waves washing up on shore and Jade’s presence.

“Do you,” he breaks the silence with a softly uttered question, “really believe that manuscript is a reflection of things that will certainly come to pass?”

This is the third time he’s asked you this. It must really be a sore spot for him. Jade isn’t the type to repeat himself. If he doesn’t get his way with one method, he’ll find twenty other ways. You don’t understand why he keeps asking with the same words and phrasing.

“I still can’t be sure. But you know, the Leech Mafia gaining influence because another syndicate fell is actually mentioned in the manuscript. I’d say things are still going according to the story.”

“No details appear as to how that was achieved. Perhaps this is not how things went behind the scenes in the original story.” He stops walking and faces you fully. “Your caution and your persistence in tying loose ends led to the investigation of mages within the Carpenter Mafia, which in turn led to Walrus revealing herself. I have yet to thank you for that.”

“You don’t need to. She would’ve revealed herself sooner or later to make her deal with you.”

Jade hums thoughtfully. “I doubt it. She likely planned on staying as the head of security in my home as long as possible. There are many benefits to being undercover in a place so close to me. She would have concealed her appearance or prepared a proxy to meet and make a deal with me. That is what I gathered from her personality.”

“It takes one to know one.”

“As the saying goes.” He admits it, his lips lifting in a smile to reveal his sharp teeth. “That aside, there is another piece of evidence that shows discrepancy between real life and the story. Floyd.”

Of course, out of everyone, Floyd would be the one who tears the plot points of the original story into shreds and stomps on their remains. He hates being constrained, arguably even more than Jade. He would never follow that story to the letter, and you know this, so you compromised by letting him do the bare minimum to fulfill the requirements of the story.

“What has he done?” You can’t be there to watch any of his interactions with (Y/N), so you don’t know the specifics.

“Don’t worry, he’s been following the dialogue and actions from the manuscript for the most part. The discrepancy arises where the story says (Y/N) becomes something of a mood stabilizer for him, keeping him in a constant state of happiness.” Jade places a hand on his chest, a fond gleam in his eye. “There are a few times I had to intervene so that his mood did not noticeably sour.”

You’re actually surprised that there were no major incidents. Floyd’s mood changes like the wind, ranging from a hair-trigger, volatile temper to a cheerful disposition that rivals the sun. That is not something a person can fix just because he likes them. In the first place, Floyd is not a project that needs to be fixed.

“I like Floyd the way he is,” you say, thinking about the times his flipping mood has caused your sense of schadenfreude to take center stage in your mind. “It’s not easy to schedule around, but it’s refreshing in a way when things don’t go exactly to plan.”

“I agree.” Jade places a hand over his chest. “He has made my life boundlessly interesting.”

“Right? It’s best to like Floyd in his entirety. But I’m sure (Y/N) would like him even if he isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time.”

“You have great praise for her character.”

“She’s wonderful.” You smile fondly. At the same time, something still nags at you. It should be the result you want, right? But you’re hesitant to ask. “Are you sure you haven’t fallen for her after spending so much time with her?”

“I’m certain.” There is no hesitation in his response. “She is a decent person, but I do not think she deserves the compliments you rain upon her.”

A strange sense of relief washes over you. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s literally perfect.”

“I would disagree. She is hardly a saint.” Jade’s expression settles into something more serious. “Don’t you think it’s strange that she has not contacted you after all this time?”

That’s still a mystery. “She doesn’t remember me, allegedly. You’re the one who told me that.”

“Yes, but surely you have left traces of yourself in her life. Have you ever given her anything? Taken pictures with her?”

He raises a good point. You’ve given her many things that she wanted but didn’t have enough money to buy. Usually trivial things like mugs with cat designs or pretty hair clips. Now that you think about it, there are polaroids of the two of you on her nightstand. Has that not raised any questions? Does she not wonder about the person in those photos that she allegedly cannot remember?

Furthermore, what Jade said strikes you as strange. “Wait, you didn’t see my pictures in her room? You stayed overnight, right? Did you see the pictures on her nightstand?”

He looks out at the sea in thought. “I would have noticed something like that immediately, but I do not recall it.”

You stiffen. Where did the photos go? Surely, the story hasn’t written them away. Even though your pictures aren’t mentioned in the manuscript, they can’t have been omitted in real life. After all, you’re still here.

Did she dispose of them? But why? If she saw pictures of herself with someone she doesn’t remember framed on her nightstand, why would she put them away or toss them in the trash? Wouldn’t she logically keep it and try to remember who the mystery person is? Unless she’s only pretending not to remember. Unless she hates you. Unless she’s using this as an opportunity to cut you out of her life. Is that the truth? Was she ever such a two-faced person?

You refuse to believe it. There were many opportunities to cut you out of her life, especially when you got busy. In those times, she was the one who reached out first. You can’t accept that she suddenly came to hate you without a reason.

“Let’s not dwell on it.” Jade steps in front of you. “May I ask you a different question?”

“Go for it.”

“Do you really believe that manuscript is a reflection of fate?”

You furrow your brows. “Isn’t that the same thing you’ve been asking me the whole time?”

“It depends on how you interpret it.” He pulls his gloves off and starts to reach for you. As though struck by a thought, he hesitates. His hand returns to his side. “What I am really trying to ask is, if you think that is fate, do you also believe fate can be changed?”

He asks the second question as though he is sure of your answer to the first one. You study his expression in the dying light. Placid. Pleasant. This is the face he uses when he’s holding his cards so tightly to his chest that he may as well bury them inside his heart.

“Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of fate? The point is that fate is how the future is meant to happen. If fate can be changed, then it isn’t fate to begin with.” You gently take his hand and hold it between both of yours. “So, to answer all your questions in one go—I don’t think that manuscript is fate.”

A grin full of jagged teeth breaks through his pleasant mien.

“Finally,” he breathes out, stepping closer to you and bringing your hands up to his chest. “I was hoping to hear you say that.”

“You know, I was half convinced for a while that (Y/N) is just a character made by that manuscript. And in extension, we’re all characters made to play out the plot it’s outlined. Right now, though, I think you’ve convinced me that the manuscript isn’t as set in stone as I thought.”

He chuckles. You expect to feel a steady heartbeat in his chest, but the tempo quickens at your touch, the allegro drumming a sharp contrast to the adante you thought you’d find.

“I was not aware you entertained such notions in your mind. Indeed, anything is possible in this world.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

Jade rubs his thumb against the back of your hands. “Of course not. I simply thought it was amusing. At the very least, you and I are not characters. We have thoughts and feelings that go beyond ink on paper. Such is the complexity that sentience yields, and it is what keeps me endlessly interested in observing others such as yourself.”

“I’d have to work hard if I really wanted to keep your interest. Sounds like a lot of effort,” you tease.

“I do not think it is possible to grow tired of you. You are endlessly fascinating to me in every way.” He leans close to you, his vibrant eyes filling your vision. “Does that answer your worries?”

“Worries?” You laugh it off. Were you worried about that sort of thing? He isn’t wrong. Since when were you so scared of losing him? “I guess I wouldn’t be thrilled if you got bored of me.”

A wave of emotion that borders on triumph washes over his features, exhilaration and happiness flickering on the edges. He brings your hands up to his lips and keeps them there, his breaths fluttering over your knuckles.

And he whispers your name. Not Friend A, not Red Handfish, not (Y/N). There is no name to insert here because it is yours, the one you always had, the one that represents all of you and who you are. Your name.

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Ace Trappola - Platinum Jacket Voice Lines

When Summoned: A museum that's been around for 100 years, huh. Guess I might as well have myself a good time, since I'm here.

Summon Line: Can't believe this museum decided to pick someone from our academy to be a supporter for their 100th Anniversary... They must've been feeling especially brave, huh?

Groooovy!!: You gotta live your life with cunning. Just like how the walrus did when he took advantage of the oysters' curiosity.

Home: Yaaay, it's the 100th Anniversary!

Home Idle 1: Ortho was saying that the pictures we can see on the internet and these real paintings feel completely different. I mean, yeah, I get it, feels like the real thing has more impact.

Home Idle 2: Jamil-senpai can cook and handle a basketball awesomely, too. I bet he's real good with his hands. What if he knows how to draw, too?

Home Idle 3: Bet it was real hard following all the Queen of Hearts' laws to the letter. If I were one of the card soldiers, I'd probably slack just enough to not get caught.

Home Idle - Login: I wonder if I'm even worth being a supporter to a museum like this. I got no interest in art appreciation whatsoever.

Home Idle - Groovy: Lilia-senpai did nothing but tease me, man. I'd love to get him back for it, but I have a feeling nothing I do would faze him.

Home Tap 1: I can really feel my own posture straighten up when I look at the painting of the Queen of Hearts. Heh, more like, it reminds me of my own demon Housewarden.

Home Tap 2: What does a guy have to do to learn how to draw such spirited paintings? I bet if I could figure out the trick, I'd be able to get good grades in art class.

Home Tap 3: Trey-senpai was saying that he doesn't really understand art, but I wonder if that's really true. I feel like he'd be good at it, what with all those cakes he makes.

Home Tap 4: Maaan this place is much bigger than I thought it'd be, and there's so much to look at. Wanna go take a break at the café?

Home Tap 5: My scarf is pinned with a rose corsage. Cool, huh? Eh, you want to borrow it? Hmm, should I let you～?

Home Tap - Groovy: Hey, hey... Woah, why're you that surprised? You must've been way too focused on the art to not notice someone calling out to you. But that shocked face you just made... Hahaha, that is the true masterpiece!

Duo: [ACE]: Lilia-senpai, let's finish this off with a bang! [LILIA]: Let's go all out, Ace.

Birthday Login Message: Oh, and here you are. You came to celebrate my birthday, right? That's totally obvious. I wonder what I should ask you to do for my birthday～ ...Ah, I feel like eating at a restaurant I've never gone to before. Don't worry, I won't pick a place that's way too expensive or anything. Let's just enjoy ourselves in a restaurant where we don't need to mind any rules or manners.

Requested by Anonymous.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Lily's Sister (Part 8)

Regulus Black AU

Summary:  You are Lily’s younger sister. Regulus never becomes a death eater but abandoned his family for the order. The two of you have a love/hate relationship that intensifies after you come back from a year abroad.

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader

Rating: M- smut

Link to Part 7

______

“Y/n, where are you?”

Hearing Lily call your name made Regulus break away from you quickly. The two of you quickly redressed to your formal state before going upstairs. Regulus quietly opened the door while you grabbed a photo album to stage a reason why the two of you went upstairs. The last thing that you wanted was for your mother or father to know that you dragged Regulus upstairs for a quickie in your childhood bedroom.

“Anywhere this was when I was 9.”

You said randomly earning a smirk from Regulus as Lily walked into the room.

“There you two are. You both disappeared.”

You held up the photo album.

“I was showing Regulus a picture. Bloody hell, Lily, we didn’t have time to come up here and screw each other.”

It took all Regulus had not to laugh at that. He had to hand it to you…you could be downright sneaky when you needed to be.

“I never knew that she could be such a sassy little tart.”

Regulus thought with a small smirk as he turned his attention to you. He never thought that he would go to absolute pieces over a girl but it was happening.

“Was happening” wasn’t even the proper words. Regulus “lost” it the moment that the two of you had the first intimate moment alone.

While you spoke quietly to Lily, Regulus let his mind go back to the conversation that he had with Sirius. It wasn’t long after the two of you had slept together for the first time.

Sirius was sitting on the couch and had caught Regulus looking into the other room at you. Regulus knew that Sirius had noticed the “longing” expression in his younger brother’s eyes. It had to be the first time that Regulus had probably had that expression on his face.

“She’s perfect for you. She doesn’t know you or our mum. She has nice thighs.”

Regulus had heard what Sirius said but it didn’t compute to his brain at that particular moment.

“She could strangle me with those and I would die a happy man….what did I just say?”

Sirius immediately started laughing. Regulus had completely frozen when those words left his mouth. While Regulus had slept with multiple women before…none of them had affected him as you had. One night of hot sweaty passionate lovemaking had Regulus ready to be an honest man and only want you. Granted, it would take some time before Regulus fully accepted and appreciated that thought.

“Awe, you discovered girls.”

Sirius said before laughing even harder.

Your voice pulled Regulus from his thoughts. Regulus hadn’t been listening to the conversation that you were having. The annoyed tone, however, pulled Regulus right back into it.

“Why are they here?”

Lily sighed, looking as equally as put out. She didn’t disagree with you on not wanting to see Petunia. Dealing with Petunia was about as enjoyable as getting dental surgery.

“Because Petunia is our sister and mum wanted a dinner with all of her children. Even if one of them is the most difficult woman on the planet and her husband is the human equivalent of a walrus.”

“A walrus?”

Regulus questioned. He had heard plenty of tales about Vernon and Petunia. Neither sounded the least bit delightful. If Regulus never met them, he wouldn’t have lost too much sleep about it.

Lily nodded.

“You’ll see what I mean soon enough. They are the type of muggle that hate people like us.”

Regulus immediately rolled his eyes. If he wasn’t in your parent's home and didn’t give a damn about ruining his reputation in their eyes, he would let Vernon and Petunia have it.

“Maybe I will run into them somewhere else?”

Regulus thought with a smirk.

“Lovely.”

Regulus commented. You turned your attention back to your boyfriend. There was no doubt in your mind that Regulus would absolutely hate Petunia and Vernon. If he climbed across the table and smack the shit out of both of them, you wouldn’t be at all surprised. Vernon and Petunia were the type of muggles that the Walburga and Orion warned their sons about.

“Just try to get along with them. I don’t want mum or dad to be drug along into this. They only want their family together for one night.”

Regulus and Lily reluctantly nodded. The two looked at each other slightly surprised that for once they agreed on something. Had the situation not been so serious you would have made a witty comment about Regulus and Lily actually having something in common after all.

“Fine. I won’t call them fucking morons to their face but you can’t stop me from thinking it.”

Regulus replied smugly. Lily groaned.

“I’ll give you money to say it to their faces.”

“Lily.”

You said your older sister’s name before shaking your head.

“He actually will.”

You added. Regulus only nodded in agreement. It wouldn’t take much for him to be totally okay with insulting some self-righteous asshole muggles.

“We might well get this over with. I hear the walrus.”

You mumbled. Lily turned and left the room to go in search of James. She had to warn him to be nice too.

“So, do we go after her or do we just stay here?”

Regulus questioned. You reached down for his hand.

“Get it over with.”

You murmured before going to the door. Regulus reached out and stopped you. He quickly spun you around and shoved you against the wall. You internally sighed the moment that his mouth was back on yours. Reaching up, you gently tugged on Regulus’ hair earning a groan from your boyfriend.

“Be a good girl, love, and I’ll make your evening better when we get home.”

“Yeah? I would sure hope so.”

You murmured, still not moving your mouth far away from Regulus’. He slightly chuckled before kissing you once more.

“You’re such a tart.”

Regulus said, fixing his now-destroyed hair.

“Well, you started it.”

You countered, giving him a cocky smile. Regulus shook his head before reaching down for your hand.

“We better stop or we are going to end up screwing again and will never get this dinner over with.”

Going back downstairs, you took a deep breath and silently prayed this dinner wouldn’t be as awful as the last one. You did not want to spend two hours listening to Vernon talk about how exciting his job was again. You were thankful that James and Regulus were there this time. James had no shame in making Vernon’s life miserable. He would ask annoying questions until Vernon finally got the message and shut the fuck up.

Walking into the living room, you faked a smile as Vernon and Petunia looked up.

“Y/n, it's so…nice to see you.”

Petunia said, in a forced friendly tone. Vernon, meanwhile, didn’t say anything.

“It's nice to see you too, Petunia. This is my boyfriend, Regulus.”

Petunia and Vernon were surprised to hear this news. You never brought a boy home. Now here stood what could be the best-looking boy that Petunia had ever seen in her life.

“Pleasure.”

Regulus commented, in his usual icy tone. Your mother motioned to the two empty seats.

“Sit down. It's so nice to have all three of my daughters home for an evening.”

As you sat down, you shot Lily a look that said “Kill me now.” Regulus meanwhile, was busy looking between Petunia and yourself. Nothing looked at all similar. If Regulus saw the two of you together in public, he never would have put it together that the two of you were siblings. You resembled Lily more than anyone.

“And for that I am grateful.”

Regulus thought as he frowned at how unattractive Petunia was.

The dinner was mostly an uneventful affair. Right as your mother plated dessert, Vernon turned his attention to Regulus.

“So, what is it you do, exactly? You haven’t said much of anything.”

Your mother and father’s eyes rolled up to Regulus as if silently apologizing for their rather rude son-in-law. Vernon had been talking about his wonderful job so long that no one had the chance to utter a word.

Regulus turned his attention to Vernon. So far there was absolutely nothing about the man that could be the slightest bit redeemable. If Regulus never met Vernon again, he would be totally okay with it. Vernon was nearly as vain and boring as Regulus’ uncle Cygnus. Regulus had spent half the dinner thinking about how if Cygnus would entertain the thought of having muggle friends he and Vernon would be perfect for each other.

“I’m a lawyer.”

Regulus replied. Vernon frowned.

“You look awfully young to be a lawyer.”

Regulus put his drink down.

“In our world, we don’t have to spend ages in school in order to be successful. It also doesn’t take much to prove or defend someone for a crime.”

Vernon rolled his eyes.

“I see. You are like them.”

He motioned to James, Lily, and yourself with clear distaste in his voice. Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“Like them? Oh, I get it. You have a problem with what we are and what you are not. Unfortunately, not everyone can be special. Some people need to be…ordinary.”

Vernon turned a shade of pink that you had never seen before. James meanwhile, grinned.

“Vernon, I would be nice to him. His family is loaded and they know all kinds of dark magic. If Y/n and Regulus get married, you may meet them at the wedding.”

You gave James a look before putting your head down to not giggle. Something told you that if you did marry Regulus, Vernon and Petunia would be no-shows. Granted, the Blacks probably wouldn’t be there either once Walburga found out that her baby boy was to be with a muggle-born.

“Regulus probably won’t want them there anyway.”

That thought alone spoke volumes. Of all the time that you had known Regulus, he never did much with his family. He would go to a family dinner when his mother pestered him enough but that was it. Regulus mostly avoided them like the plague.

You were also extremely thankful for that fact too. The last thing that you wanted was to potentially have to explain yourself to Walburga and Orion Black. Nothing that you could say would be good enough to convince them that you would be the perfect wife for their son. Walburga would probably try to attack you for “bewitching her baby boy.”

Rolling your eyes, you turned your attention to Regulus. He sat staring at Vernon with his best “lawyer scowl.” You had seen him look at many people like this. Between being in a courtroom with Mr. Crouch while Regulus defended someone or an Order meeting…this was Regulus’ perfect poker face.

Regulus focused his attention on Vernon’s face. To his pleasure, he saw fear in the man’s eyes.

“Thank you for that James. Look, Vernon, I know about you. Whether you like our kind or not, you will be showing us respect.”

Regulus focused his attention on Vernon’s surprised face before speaking directly into his mind.

“You will show me respect as you will with every other person at this table. Potter is right about one thing. I do know how to make your life miserable and I won’t hesitate to do so. I beg you to give me a reason.”

Vernon was clearly surprised by the experience. He looked around a moment or two before realizing what was actually happening.

“You’ve made your point!”

Vernon thought, nervously. Regulus leaned back in his seat with a pleased smirk on his face.

“Peachy.”

Vernon was magically silent for the remainder of the evening. You were happy with whatever it was Regulus did and didn’t plan to ask any questions. Seeing your older sister and her pig of a husband silenced made the remainder of the evening magical.

Arriving back home, James was in fits of giggles after Regulus told him exactly what he did.

“I wish that I could have heard the whole thing. I may have to upgrade you to friend.”

Regulus rolled his eyes as he took off his coat.

“Isn’t that nice? Well, that was an interesting evening.”

Lily sat down on the couch in a huff.

“That is why there aren’t many Evans family dinners. One can only take so much Vernon and Petunia Dursley before your brain goes soggy.”

Regulus shrugged.

“He made me want to punch a wall. Oh well, he’s scared of me now. You are most welcome, by the way. Y/n, sugar, are you ready to call it a night?”

You simply nodded before going to head up the stairs. James whined.

“Silencing spells are great. We all know that she calls you daddy.”

Lily shot her husband a glare while Regulus turned around and gave James a smirk.

“Now that we all know each other. Later.”

Lily waited until Regulus was out of the room before throwing a pillow at James’ head.

“Why would you do that?”

Meanwhile, you had barely gotten up the stairs when Regulus pulled you into the bathroom.

“I wanted to spend the evening in a hot steamy shower marking your pretty little neck up.”

You gave Regulus a little smirk before beginning to get undressed.

“We both can get what we want.”

You moved to turn the tap on and waited for the water to get hot and steamy. After turning the shower on, you were about to get in but stopped when Regulus wrapped his around you from behind.

“Turn your neck to the side.”

Regulus ordered. You did as you were told and waited for Regulus to bury his face in your neck. When he didn’t, you started to turn but stopped the moment Regulus lightly smacked your ass.

“Stop being impatient, I was only admiring my work from the other night.”

Regulus commented before licking a path over the love bite from the night before last.

“Now be a good girl and get in the shower.”

(The next morning)

You were thankful that the previous evening’s moodiness seemed to evaporate after returning home. After the little go in the shower, Regulus was back to himself.

“You’ll be late today?

You questioned as Regulus walked you to your office. He rolled his eyes before sighing.

“Yeah, this case I have is a real drag. How I’m supposed to defend this man properly is still a mystery on its own. I should thank your twat of a boss for sending him my way. If I wouldn’t get the book thrown at me I would kick him.“

You shook your head before fixing Regulus’ tie. It was no secret to you that there was no love lost between Barty Crouch Sr and Regulus. Regulus had no respect for the older man since he threw his own son into prison (even if there was enough evidence to do so). While Regulus had not said it, you knew that he missed Barty Crouch Jr. Regulus had lost so many friends over the years. Knowing that one of them was locked away in prison forever to rot there was a rough thought.

“I would prefer that you don’t kick him. I rather like you being home with me and not in Azkaban. Besides, you are too pretty to go to jail.”

Regulus smirked before shaking his head.

“You really are a pain in my ass.”

You gave him a smile before stepping closer to kiss him goodbye.

“That’s why you love me.”

Never in a million years did Regulus EVER think that he would be standing in the Ministry of Magic flirting with his minx of a girlfriend. Now here he was and he was starting to not give a damn. It was nice feeling wanted.

“Yeah, you keep me on my toes wondering what in the fresh hell you have done to me.”

You placed a hand on Regulus’ chest, fighting the urge to pull him into another kiss.

“Melting your heart and keeping your dick hard… it's what I do best.”

(meanwhile)

Walburga and Druella walked through the Ministry of Magic hallways. Both women had come to pick up a document that Orion had requested. Walburga was annoyed with her husband. He was perfectly capable of doing something himself but as usual, requested Walburga to do it.

“He is probably busy with his stupid mistress. The whore is nothing but trouble.”

Walburga grumbled. Druella rolled her eyes.

“The men in our family have problems with saying no to pretty young women.”

Druella was about to say more but stopped the moment that she spotted Regulus standing outside of Barty Crouch Sr’s office. Her eyes widened as she realized that Regulus was talking to a girl…a girl that the Black family had no idea about.

“Speaking of the men in our family being unable to say no to pretty young women. Look at your son.”

Walburga frowned before following Druella’s line of sight. She stopped the moment that she saw Regulus. It had been weeks since Walburga had heard a peep from her youngest son. Now here he stood standing awfully close to a girl that Walburga knew nothing about. She looked you over. Whoever you were, you were a lovely young woman.

“I wonder who she is?”

Druella questioned. Walburga shrugged.

“He hasn’t even informed me of a girlfriend.”

Druella chuckled as you reached out to fix Regulus’ tie then stood on your tiptoes to kiss him.

“Well, she is either his lover or they are very good friends. I have never seen her before. I wonder why she is…and her blood status?”

Walburga had to fight the urge to stomp over to her son and demand answers to her questions but decided not to. Regulus had been avoiding her like the plague. Walburga wasn’t sure if it was due to his new job or some kind of “I have no parents I was hatched from an egg syndrome” that Regulus was going through. Whatever the problem was truly bothered Walburga. She had already lost Sirius and now her precious baby boy acted as if he had no time for his parents.

“Yet, he has time for this girl.”

Walburga thought coldly.

“I have no idea who she is but I will find out. I think it's time for us to have a family dinner. I want to know about who this little woman is. My son owes his mother some explanations.”

__

@geeksareunique @jessyballet @fific7 @knreidy1 @justfinishthis @mimisparkle12 @teletubiswszpilkach @dumbbunnys-safes @siriuslyceleste @spideyxalmighty @lucasfilms77 @rubyroscoe1 @i-love-scott-mccall @taylor-will-be-the-death-of-me @s-we-e-t-t-ea @readtomeregulus @iluvthe-marauders @woohoney @abaker74 @regulus-black-223048 @saramaple @missgorldafirst @millies0bsimp @dumybitch @stelleduarte @gugggu6gvai @jag9000 @bennyberry @f4iryluvy @panpride @haroldpotterson @mentally-unstable-hoe @goldensunshineshit @padf00ts-l0ver @marichromatic @ravenhood2792 @play-morezeppelin @authoressskr @emiwrites3reads @rogue-nyx88 @knight-of-gleefulness @summer-novak @shaylybaby2032 @coffeeaddictednymph @livshifts @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ad-astra-again @regulusblackswhorecrux

[jackoshadows]

In the books:

White Harbor

“Was ever snow so black?” asked Lord Wyman. “Ramsay took Lord Hornwood’s lands by forcibly wedding his widow, then locked her in a tower and forgot her. It is said she ate her own fingers in her extremity…and the Lannister notion of king’s justice is to reward her killer with Ned Stark’s little girl.” - Davos, ADwD

Winterfell:

"The bride weeps," Lady Dustin said, as they made their way down, step by careful step. "Our little Lady Arya." ... What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned's precious little girl." ... "Lady Arya's sobs do us more harm than all of Lord Stannis's swords and spears. - The Turncloak, ADwD

The Boltons about the Northmen marching with Stannis:

“Even ruined and broken, Winterfell remains Lady Arya’s home. What better place to wed her, bed her, and stake your claim? Let Stannis march on us. He is too cautious to come to Barrowton…but he must come to Winterfell. His clansmen will not abandon the daughter of their precious Ned to such as you. - - Reek, ADwD

The northmen marching with Stannis:

"Winter is almost upon us, boy. And winter is death. I would sooner my men die fighting for the Ned’s little girl than alone and hungry in the snow, weeping tears that freeze upon their cheeks. No one sings songs of men who die like that. As for me, I am old. This will be my last winter. Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die. I want to feel it spatter across my face when my axe bites deep into a Bolton skull. I want to lick it off my lips and die with the taste of it on my tongue." - The King's Prize, ADwD

Stannis to Lord Commander Jon Snow:

… more northmen coming in as word spreads of our victory. Fisherfolk, freeriders, hillmen, crofters from the deep of the wolfswood and villagers who fled their homes along the stony shore to escape the ironmen, survivors from the battle outside the gates of Winterfell, men once sworn to the Hornwoods, the Cerwyns, and the Tallharts. We are five thousand strong as I write, our numbers swelling every day. And word has come to us that Roose Bolton moves toward Winterfell with all his power, there to wed his bastard to your half sister. He must not be allowed to restore the castle to its former strength. We march against him. Arnolf Karstark and Mors Umber will join us. I will save your sister if I can, and find a better match for her than Ramsay Snow. You and your brothers must hold the Wall until I can return. - Jon, ADwD

Lord Commander Jon Snow on the Wall:

"He's to marry Arya Stark. My little sister." Jon could almost see her in that moment, long-faced and gawky, all knobby knees and sharp elbows, with her dirty face and tangled hair. They would wash the one and comb the other, he did not doubt, but he could not imagine Arya in a wedding gown, nor Ramsay Bolton's bed. No matter how afraid she is, she will not show it. If he tries to lay a hand on her, she'll fight him. "Your sister," Iron Emmett said, "how old is …" By now she'd be eleven, Jon thought. Still a child. "I have no sister. Only brothers. Only you." Lady Catelyn would have rejoiced to hear those words, he knew. That did not make them easier to say. His fingers closed around the parchment. Would that they could crush Ramsay Bolton's throat as easily. - Jon, ADwD

You know nothing, Jon Snow. He thought of Arya, her hair as tangled as a bird's nest. I made him a warm cloak from the skins of the six whores who came with him to Winterfell … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … I want my bride back … "I think we had best change the plan," Jon Snow said.

The roar was all he could have hoped for, the tumult so loud that the two old shields tumbled from the walls. Soren Shieldbreaker was on his feet, the Wanderer as well. Toregg the Tall, Brogg, Harle the Huntsman and Harle the Handsome both, Ygon Oldfather, Blind Doss, even the Great Walrus. I have my swords, thought Jon Snow, and we are coming for you, Bastard. - Jon, ADwD

Stannis sending Arya to Jon Snow for a debt owed

"Oh, and take the Stark girl with you. Deliver her to Lord Commander Snow on your way to Eastwatch." Stannis tapped the parchment that lay before him. "A true king pays his debts." Pay it, aye, thought Theon. Pay it with false coin. Jon Snow would see through the imposter at once. Lord Stark's sullen bastard had known Jeyne Poole, and he had always been fond of his little half-sister Arya. - Theon, TWoW

Even the traitors Karstark pretending like the others:

Lord Arnolf shoved himself up, a vulture rising from its prey. One spotted hand clutched at his son’s shoulder for support. “We’ll take (Winterfell) for the Ned and for his daughter.” - The Sacrifice, ADwD

Us reading A Dance for Dragons: The North is marching for Lady Arya Stark of Winterfell, daughter of Ned Stark. Arya Stark is a pivotal character, a Key to the North around whom the North plot revolves. Various Northern factions are uniting behind her, the Lord Commander broke several oaths of neutrality and died trying to save her, two kings tried to save her.

Sansa stans/Jonsa shippers:

They hate it so much that the North plot revolves around Arya that the only thing they can do again and again is gaslight the fandom with this false equivalence that talking about Arya's importance to the North is making light of Jeyne's rape and abuse.

Also, Ramsay marries Arya Stark to give legitimacy to his stake over the North as Lord of Winterfell. Which is why Manderly wants Rickon because his claim supersedes Arya's. These morons pretending that discussing this plot is an insult to Arya while they hand over all of Arya's book themes, characterization and relationships to their fave is hilarious.

Like every other day there is a post of how Sansa is the MOST IMPORTANT because EVERYONE WANTS TO MARRY HER and she is the ONLY KEY TO THE NORTH - because the Lannisters, Tyrells and LF are all plotting to marry her off etc. The whole Jonsa shite is about Sansa deigning to make the poor bastard Jon legitimate by marrying him etc. Their world revolves around Sansa's marriage. But apparently discussing how Arya's marriage to Ramsay to hold the North is driving the Northern plot is insulting to Arya's character 🤣

When even the author has given all these interviews pointing out that replacing Jeyne with Sansa on the TV show changed the entire story because 'Fake Arya' is essential to what is happening in the North, these stans can only regurgitate this tired old nonsense and attack book readers for discussing what is actually in the books instead of making up headcanons on how their unqualified fave is the only candidate to be QITN

[hierarchyproblem]

In season three, there are a couple of points where a decision is made not to make use of Flint's reputation. Silver is sent instead of him to announce his return from the dead, and Silver is chosen as the man whose name is attached to the black spot. Both of these choices come over as kind of incongruous; Flint's fearsome reputation is one of the most powerful weapons the Walrus crew have! And of course the practical reason for this is that the writers know that Treasure Island doesn't work unless Silver also has a fearsome reputation. These moments are some of the points where the artifice of the show is most visible.

Except! Both times it's Billy who makes that call. It drops out of focus in the back half of the season, but you have to remember Billy still really fucking hates the captain. They're working together in the fight for survival against the encroach of civilisation, but unlike Silver, Billy and Flint are not friends!

So some of Billy's contributions to the crew's strategy in this season are:

Flint shouldn't lead raids, because he's too valuable to lose, it should be someone else

Flint shouldn't be the one to announce his return to Dufresne et al., because it would be kind of lame (?), it should be Silver

Flint shouldn't attempt to stay behind to free Vane, because he's too valuable to lose, it should be him (Billy)

Flint shouldn't be the boogeyman behind the black spot, because fuck him, he's already infamous, let's give someone else a turn - it should be Silver

All of these suggestions have the side effect of sidelining Flint. Notably as soon as Flint's not present when the judgement call is made, he's much more forthright that he doesn't want to invest any more power in Flint than he already has. I think you can totally read this into all the other instances too, even though the throughline isn't explicitly drawn: it's possible Billy is thinking ahead to how easy it'll be to remove Flint after the war is won.

What's most interesting to me, though, is bullet #2. Billy's argument here is (paraphrased) that Flint is the ghost in a ghost story, and if he shows up in person without any foreshadowing, the vibes would be wrong. Which is insane, right? We get scenes afterward of characters doubting that Flint really even is still alive, which isn't useful to them at all - that could've been avoided if he just went himself!

But, of course, the vibes would be wrong. Billy, Flint, and Silver are characters from a childrens' storybook. Black Sails is a show about stories, of course, and increasingly so as it goes on, but how much more true is that for Captain Flint, Billy Bones, and Long John Silver! These guys are storybook men, they're bound to the artifice of the story more than anyone. We know how it ends for them before we ever watch episode I, we know who they'll become. This is all over the show: how many times does Flint refer to himself as "the villain" for example? So of course if we're doing a ghost story they'll play along with the rules of a ghost story (hell, the Flint of Treasure Island more or less is a ghost)!

Yeah, fictional men make suboptimal choices that make for a more dramatic story, of course they do: that's what they're for. These guys play their part in someone else's tale not just in-world as pirates in England's propaganda, but as the characters from Treasure Island. They're bound to the story, whether they like it or not.

[itsscromp]

I saw what you posted about rocket and decided to send you a request. This contains spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy V3 so if you haven't watched the movie then maybe you will not understand what the request is about.

I was thinking of a scientist that worked with the High Evolutionary but treated rocket and his friends very well (but could not let them escape because then the high evolutionary would kill them or something like that).

Also could you please do it as an interaction between the characters (with dialog)

Thanks and have a nice day 🥰

Friends till the end

An adorable idea my friend, I had thoughts like this too. Word count:488

You helplessly watched as the high evolutionary brought in new "experiments" Every day, seeing all these cute animals going through so much pain and hearing their little squeals of pain was enough to send shivers down your spine. Seeing the latest subjects, you had enough of seeing them in pain and seeing them scared. So late into the night, you gently snuck into the cages where they kept them.

You managed to find the latest subjects including 89Q12 and 89P13. You gently opened the cage and saw how scared they were. Hiding in the corner, away from you. Thinking it's going to happen all over again.

"Shhh shhh... It's ok little ones, I'm not here to hurt you" You softly smiled as you pulled out some treats you found on the way.

"Your... Your kind" 89Q12 said.

"I'm so sorry that Sire has to put you all through these pointless experiments. I wish I could do more to help all of you" You said sadly, If Sire were to find out you helped them... the consequences would be severe.

"It's ok friend... this can be... a secret !!" the walrus spoke up happily.

"Of course... yes, this is our little secret ok ??"

"Secret, secret, secret !!" A bunny crawled out of the cage and went up to you. the others following suit.

Then there was 89P13, Who still looked very scared.

"It's ok" You softly smiled at him.

He stayed hesitant for a little while until he got up, walking slowly toward you, you grew sad seeing all the components and metal rods sticking out of him. He gently walked to you and saw your open hand, he placed his paw gently on it, and you began to rub it gently with your thumb.

He never felt this soft tenderness during the times of his experiments. He softly leant into it and soon, snuggled up to you.

"It's ok little on, I got you" You gently rubbed his tiny forearm.

"Thank you... friend." He said softly.

"Of course"

Over time, you snuck to the cages every night, offering them love and affection. Away from all the torture and pain. Offering them cuddles and gentle play.

You played peek-a-boo with 89P13. hiding your face behind your hands.

"Where did you go, friend ??" He giggled

You then reemerged from your hands, showing your face again.

"There you are !!" He shouted happily as the others giggled as well seeing you interact with him.

"That was fun 89P13..."

"Oh oh, I have a name too !!!!, It's rocket !!" He declared happily as the others told their names. 89Q12 was now Lylla, The walrus was Teefs and the bunny was called floor.

"My my, these are all very unique names. I love all of them, they all suit you so well" You smiled as you gently brought them all in.

"Thank you... It really is good to have friends."

Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board

[romione-trope-fest]

Title: There Was Only One Git

Author: Nena-96

Selected Trope: Cockblocker Harry, Muggle AU and There Was Only One Bed

Brief Summary: After a failed movie night, Ron takes Hermione to bed, however they have an unexpected git- I mean guest enter their bedroom.

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,866

Any relevant trigger warnings: None

The television was playing, yet only one of the three occupants sitting on the sofa were actually watching the opening credits of the movie. Ron was squished in the middle as Hermione and Harry had him trapped in the center of the sofa. It hadn’t even been a few minutes and yet, he lost feeling in his arms. The numbness had become persistent and soon enough, Ron would feel a sharp pain that would rocket up his arms and into his shoulders.

What a night.

Ron sighed slowly, as he felt Hermione snuggled closer to his side, while Harry snored loudly into his ear. Perfect, it was just another typical Saturday night and instead of watching a movie with his girlfriend and his best mate, he was being used as a pillow. Well, he guessed it could be worse, at least he wasn’t stuck at the office working through piles of paperwork. Then again, he didn’t have a bespectacled git channeling his inner walrus and snoring into his ear at work. Ron shook his head as he tried to untangle himself from the two people he loves the most, but each time they just snuggled further onto him.

With a sigh of frustration, Ron closed his eyes and counted to ten before gently nudging Hermione’s head away, “Hermione… love, wake up.” However, this only caused her to whimper and wrinkle her nose. Which would have been adorable, if he wasn’t feeling the tell tale burning sensation of his arms that were stretched out for far too long.

Damn it, he thought to himself, shaking his head he turned slightly to the left, towards Harry. Instead of the gentle manner he bestowed upon his loving girlfriend. Ron mustered up all his strength and nudged Harry forcefully away from him. Which caused said git, to lose his glasses as he went tumbling onto the pillows beside him. Funny enough, Harry remained asleep, aside from the low unintelligible muttering he let out.

“Fuck,” Ron winced, as he slowly moved his now free arm in small circles. You’d think from all the times that he was in this predicament, he would be used to it by now, well that’s completely wrong.

After a couple of minutes of trying to get feeling back into his arm, Ron turned his attention back to Hermione. He touched her cheek gently, but she would just nuzzle her face into the crook of his neck. Closing his eyes, Ron tried to ignore the way the tiny puffs of air that slipped from Hermione’s lips and managed to tickle his skin. This simple act caused his trousers to become tight instantly.

“Calm down, Ronnie..now is definitely not the time,” Ron muttered to himself. It was obvious that Hermione wasn’t going to wake up anytime soon, which made him slowly untangle himself from her embrace and get up from the sofa. After rubbing the pain away from his arms, Ron wondered if he should just cover Hermione with a blanket and call it a day.

However, he quickly shot down that option because Hermione would just complain about the back pain that would cause her in the morning. So that was out of the question, Ron decided he’d be a gentleman and carry Hermione to the guest room. To sleep of course, but if along the way she wakes up, well… he wouldn’t mind having a late night talk, if you get what he’s throwing down. As long as she’s up for it, that is, he’d never force her to do anything she wasn’t comfortable with.

Before he picked up his girlfriend, Ron grabbed the remote from the coffee table and powered off the telly. He carelessly tossed the remote back onto the table, and grimaced at the way the battery cover flew off. As he watched the double A’s roll onto the hardwood floor and besides Crookshanks furry ginger tail. Oh well, he could pick it up tomorrow, Ron thought to himself, crouching down, he proceeded to shake Harry’s shoulder, “Mate-”

Instead of a sleepy response from the unruly haired man, Ron was startled by an ungodly loud snore. It reminded him of the mating call of a walrus from one of those animal documentaries that Seamus would always watch. Yeah, his mate was a bit of a strange fella, but there’s never a dull moment with that bloke.

“Alright, then.. Have a nice rest, sleeping beauty,” another snore was his response, Ron rolled his eyes and went to Hermione. With a gentle ease he removed the pillow she was holding and moved it to the side. Then, Ron slid his arm underneath her and carried her bridal style off the sofa. After giving her a soft kiss on her temple, and basking in her beautiful perfume, Armortenia #9, it was a very unusual perfume. As he carried Hermione, he thought back on that fateful day a couple of years ago he had entered a small little perfume shop in search of a perfect gift for his friend.

Ron had barely managed to contain his excitement, just moments after the cashier had handed him the perfume in a small gift box. He had sprinted out of the shop and all the way to the bus stop, he just had to give Hermione the perfume. After a half hour bus ride, and a short walk around the block of a gated neighborhood, Ron had found himself knocking on the door of Hermione’s childhood home. It was quite the day, Ron thought to himself, after he gave the perfume to Hermione she had sprayed a generous amount onto her wrist. That moment had opened his eyes, after smelling the berries and vanilla, and seeing her brown eyes brighten with adoration. Ron promised himself he would one day find the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend.

Sadly, it had taken both of them quite some time to talk about their feelings together, but it was better late than never. It was all worth it in the end, although he wouldn’t mind it one bit if one day Hermione were to be his wife. That was, if she wanted to marry him, because in his mind there’s no one he would be able to love if it wasn’t Hermione.

Ron felt Hermione’s arms wrap around his neck, the feeling of her arms around him caused his mind to go blank for a bit. It was the effect she had on him, at times he wondered if this was really real or if life was just playing a cruel joke. Just waiting to take away everything he loves, but deep down he knew that she was not leaving his side, it’s a promise that they both made to one another.

“Mhm, Ron,” Hermione muttered, making him realize he has yet to climb the steps that lead up to the guest bedroom. “Shit,” Ron muttered, he had almost forgotten the guest room was all the way on the second floor. On any other day he’d be fine with carrying his girlfriend to the guest room, but he was so tired and needed sleep. Hopefully, Hermione wouldn’t mind sleeping in his room tonight. Hell, Ron would sleep on the floor if it meant letting her have a peaceful night. He knew how much the work week was taking a toll on his girlfriend, even if shedidn’t want to admit that to him. Ron shook his head and walked towards the direction of his room, which was only a few doors down.

Soon enough they were inside his room, it didn’t take him long to open the door since it wasn’t the first time he carried Hermione to bed. Although, it was the first time he brought her to his room, but that’s because he wasn’t sure she’d want to stay the night. Even though she always hinted at sleeping in his bed. It must’ve been just because she didn’t want to walk all the way to the guest room, not that she wanted to stay with him. Honestly, birds think us blokes don’t understand their minds… well unless you're Seamus, then you definitely don’t have a clue. Luckily, he wasn’t Seamus, he knew exactly how to be a gentleman-

“Are you just going to carry me, or lay me down?” Hermione spoke, which startled him so much he almost dropped her. He whipped his head towards her face, that was mere inches from his own as he stared into her soft caramel eyes. Ron noticed how Hermione was trying hard to keep herself from laughing. His mouth fell open, as he realized the little minx was never asleep. Well, she was asleep on the sofa, but she must’ve woken up while he was carrying her.

“Hermione-”

“Yes, that’s my name. Now can you lay me down on your bed? Or, do I have to do it myself?” Hermione said primly. Shaking his head, Ron pretended like he was going to drop her onto the bed and chuckled as she hit him lightly on the shoulder. “You, arse… that wasn’t funny,” Hermione huffed.

“Hermione, you scarlet woman… why are you speaking about my arse, does your mum know you spea-” before he was able to finish. Hermione brought his face down to hers and silenced him with a passionate snog. “Oi…. not… that I’m not enjoying this,” Ron said in between kisses, “… weren’t you sleeping?”

Instead of a reply, Ron felt Hermione grip his hair, while her other hand began to trail up and down his chest. Quickly the room was filled with soft sighs and moans, as each kiss he felt against his lips, drew him closer to a delirious state of euphoria.

“I was… I just… but now I’m not,” Hermione managed to say after pulling away from his swollen lips. He felt her lips inches away from his, as he slowly opened his eyes and looked at her. “You’re going to be the death of me, you know this, right?”

Instead of over reply, he felt her hand slowly move down his body, and proceeded to gently caress him over his shorts. “That makes two of us,” she whispered before kissing him again, this time it was much harder than before. The urgency of the way she was kissing him, combined with the way she was squeezing him lightly felt like heaven. “Hermione… please,” he moaned against her soft lips, while trailing his hand up her thigh until his hand disappeared underneath her nightdress.

The moment he felt her lace touch his fingers he stopped kissing her and groaned into her neck, “Damnit, Hermione you’re making it hard-”

“Oh, I’m fully aware how hard I'm making you, thank you very much,” Hermione teased while pressing against him, the soft moan that fell from her mouth was driving him mad. Ever so slowly he began pulling down her knickers, while Hermione began nibbling on his ear. He gritted his teeth when he felt her bite down on his ear lobe, at the same time he took off her knickers.

“Ron, I need you… please-”

Before Ron could reply with a witty response, the door was suddenly pushed open, and Harry was standing near the bed. This shocked both Ron and Hermione, as they quickly covered themselves with the comforter. Thankfully, they were fully clothed but still, Ron didn’t want anyone to see Hermione like this.

“Harry what are you-” Ron began, only to be interrupted by a snore from his best mate. Which made him think if Harry was still sleeping.

“You know what I need… some sleep…” Harry said groggily, then proceeded to join them in the bed. Ron looked at Hermione, he wasn’t surprised that her face was red in embarrassment. “Is he sleeping?” She whispered to him, before looking back at the unruly-haired git that was now drooling all over his pillow.

Shaking his head, Ron moved away from Hermione and went to shake Harry awake, “Ron, you can’t force someone awake that will disorient them,” Hermione whispered. He turned and gave her an incredulous look, “Well I’m not letting this git, stay in my bed-”

“Shh, just come here.. maybe we should just sleep,” Hermione whispered back, as she gestured to him to come back to her side. Ron sighed, before crawling back over to his girlfriend and wrapping his arm around her, and kissing her on the cheek. He pulled her closer to him, “Ron, stop it,” he heard Hermione mumble, he didn’t know why if he wasn’t doing anything, thanks to Harry. “What, did I do?” He whispered into her ear as he involuntarily brought her closer to him, which caused her bum to press against his bulge. “Don’t give me that, you’re pressing your… your bits against me,” Hermione gritted out, as she attempted to keep her cheeks from burning.

“Shit, I’m sorry I wasn’t doing it on purpose,” Ron said honestly, “you’re the one that keeps pressing into me.” He groaned, before looking over at the git that was now nuzzling his face against the pillow like Crookshanks when he wanted an extra snack from the tin.

Glancing back down at Hermione, he tried to adjust himself, but the sense of getting caught only riled him up even more. It didn’t help that Hermione was pressing so tightly against him, it was almost as if she was even more turned on then him. Even if she was still in the mood, Ron wasn’t an idiot ... .well he was at times. But he wasn’t a dumbass to try and get frisky with his girlfriend while his best mate was in the same bed as them. Talk about, only one bed… bloody hell this was like a trope to a bad romantic comedy that Hermione would always watch on the Hallmark channel. Ron shook his head as he wondered what the hell did he do to deserve this.

Just as he was about to tell Hermione to budge up a bit, Harry began talking, “Lilies…. Bloodied… scattered around the floorboards… Halloween… night…” they both turned to Harry, his green eyes held a crazed look. Neither, Hermione or himself knew how to respond, they simply watched as Harry fell back against the pillow with his eyes open.

“What the fuck? Did he say lilies, and Halloween?” Ron said, confusion etched across his freckled face. “Maybe, it’s a nightmare… remember you said he had a lot of nightmare-”

“Ugh… yes..f-fuck.. fuck…”

Oh hell no.

Ron and Hermione stared, mouth wide open as they watched Harry start slowly thrusting, before picking up speed, rather quickly. Hermione clasped a hand to her mouth, and Ron felt his blood turn cold when Harry began moaning a name. A name he never wanted to hear pronounce in such way in his entire fucking life. That git, his best mate of over ten years was moaning his sister’s name.

“G-Ginny… missed you…so good, so…ti-”

Ron saw red as he quickly grabbed a pillow and was about to hit Harry in the back of his head, “No, Ron, you can’t force him awake… ,he’ll get disoriented,” Hermione struggled to say as she tried to hold him back. “Fuck that! Harry’s dream shagging my sister!” Ron growled before looking back at his so-called best mate, who was now pumping his hips harder than before.

“Dream shagging?” Hermione repeated in confusion. Ron let out a strangled noise of frustration, “Yes, Hermione. Dream shag, that wanker,” Ron said as he pointed the pillow at Harry, “is shagging my sister in his fucking dream.

Everyone knows what a dream shag is, hell… I’ve had loads of them before we-” he stopped himself once he saw the look on his girlfriend’s face. He watched as her brown eyes darkened, and her lips drew into a fine line. It scared him, because at this moment she reminded him of his professor, McGonagall. With that image in his mind, he felt a shiver run through him, and it was definitely not in a good way.

“Oh. Please, enlighten me with the women whom you’ve “dreamt of shagging”.. if you’re ever so kind.” Hermione said with faux interest, a glimmer of jealousy ignited in her eyes. “That’s.. besides the point… not even.. relevant-”

“So… close.. G-”

“NO! Keep your pecker away from Ginny! You bloody wanker!” Ron roared out before quickly grabbing Harry, and pushed him off the bed with such force a few photographs fell from the walls of his bedroom.

“Ow, fuck,” Harry got up slowly and rubbed his head in pain, “Ron… Hermione, what are you doing in my room?” Harry said as he squinted to try and see his best mates. “This isn’t your room,” Ron managed to say calmly before opening the door and leading Harry out the room. “Oh, sorry mate.. I must’ve thought this was my room, my glasses… they’re um.. downstairs,” Harry apologized before walking out the room.

Ron tried to even his breathing as he closed the door and locked it. He turned around and looked at Hermione who had her arms crossed over, “who did you dream about?” She asked, while raising an eyebrow at him.

[cult-of-the-eye]

Ok I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make the new hyperfixation post:

CRIMINAL MINDS:

I started watching it cause I was on the internet during the Dr Reid thirst trap era and let's just say a scrawny motherfucker with autism is the surefire way to get me to watch something

Especially when everyone is going through the horrors

I am in love with the format of the show, with the whole quotes and then different characters saying the quotes and the isolated cases with the slight hints of more background for each of the characters it's really keeping me going

I'm not great with gore and shit but like it's got shitty 2000s CGI so like it's easy to tell myself it's just actors with fake blood

Also listen I had to tap into my 9 yr old undiagnosed autistic obsessed with psychopaths phase at some point

It just tickles the right parts of my brain

Anyway the characters are why I stuck around

Gideon <3333 I love that strange walrus looking man I love how he's simultaneously such an emotional rock for everyone in the BAU but also dealing with his own things, he goes into each of the crimes with such calmness and compassion and I just love that weird old man especially when he introduced himself as Jason to the little girl he was saving in that one episode, i was like HE'S MAKING HIMSELF SEEM LIKE LESS OF A THREAT BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF WITH HIS FIRST NAMEEEE, HE'S TRYING TO PUT HER AT EASE

Hotch oh man it was one scene specifically that literally started my brainrot for this guy, I wasn't that into him in the first couple of episodes and then it was revealed that he was horrifically abused by his dad and actively chose to go into a pathway that would catch people like that and people who get abused and then go on to abuse others and I just. AH. i am such a sucker for any character who has endured things that no one ever should endure at the hands of another human being and then instead of becoming completely bitter and taking the eye for an eye mindset, they vow to make sure the cycle stops with them and they may not be all sunshine and daisies and instead rough a lot of the times but they do it and they do it realistically

He's got a wife and a kid!!! He did it!! He made a better life for himself and it makes me feel like I could too, he's so strong and I feel like my strength can one day be used for more than just survival

Elle!!!! God I love her I feel like she's so realistic for a woman in her field, she's smart and strong and capable and she acknowledges all the things she has going against her, she's compassionate to the female rape victims, she gets furious at the people targeting women in particular what i would do to be this woman's friend

Reid. Oh lord. Listen I'm not on the thirst trap train but I do understand the love for this guy. My love for him however stems from the autism. The whole wanting to be useful and only knowing how to through interests and hyperfixations and feeling like he's missing out on some things cause he's different

It was the hostage situation on the train that got to me he was just so REAL and it's so awesome to see autistic people succeed in stuff like this

It's also nice to see him accepted by the team for who he is

I do also like him cause he's cool but it's easier to explain the autism stuff

Garcia - wonderful amazing spectacular I love me a confident woman in stem

Morgan - i like how he's sort of the "cool guy" archetype but his whole thing is getting into the mind of the UnSub I feel like it gives him more depth

JJ - god she's so cool and calm under pressure I love her

So yeah. The BAU is my new comfort character crew I'm taking Elle with me everywhere

But also do I have major issues with the idea of behavioural analysis in crime? Absolutely. It is so insanely subjective the way they're going off of probability, the way their precedent probably lacks temporal validity and also population validity with both the androcentrism and ethnocentrism it does feel wrong to be coming to such a conclusion about the UnSub so quickly and decisively, even though I understand their whole thing is getting there quickly. I just know that categorising human behaviour is never as simple as it seems.

Do I think they tackle some of these issues in the show? Sort of. Am I also aware this is a fictional drama TV show and it may not be that deep? Yes.

Anyway