#like bro has the WORST mommy and daddy issues

[mintaikcorpse]

Love that scene in Pokemon Scarlet (and Violet but I played Scarlet) where the protagonists were in Area Zero and describing their parents, and Penny is like "Omg, my dad's so annoying! He gives me annoying names like Pen-Pen," and Nemona is like, "I grew up in a rich family, and my parents gave me a lot of freedom but still made sure to care for me," and then Nemona tells Penny about how nice the protagonists mom is, and then Arven, with his fucked up parents, is just watching like:

[avaoracle]

Batfam Descriptions pt.1

Bruce "Because I'm Batman" Wayne: Has never moved on from his parents deaths, probably never will, copes by dressing up as a giant bat and pummeling people instead of just going to therapy. Smart as hell when it comes to everything but meaningful communication and how to handle interpersonal relationships, has the emotional bandwidth of a stale loaf of bread. -Is addicted to collecting dark haired orphans/near orphans/probably better off if one or both their parents were dead (lookin at you Talia) Loves all his kids- though he loves Cass most and it's totally obvious.

Dick "You can take the boy out of the circus but you can't take the circus out of the boy" Grayson: A guy who enjoys a pretty casual relationship with gravity for a guy who is technically only human. Pun master, 'third times a charm' older brother- turns out taking out bat daddy frustration on your first bro (largely from being fired from Robin and then replaced), and firing your second bro from Robin and then replacing him (with a demon child that tried to kill him) isn't something siblings appreciate, go figure- He cares though, one of the only bats at least somewhat capable of expressing his feelings with words and actions rather than just repressing them and brooding (Bruce).

Jason "Remember that time I died?" Todd: Angry zombie boy with daddy issues, mommy issues, batdaddy issues and crowbar issues...Really just issues, lots of issues, covers with inappropriate jokes about his own death that make everyone but Roy, Steph and Damien uncomfortable...actually mostly just Dick and Bruce are still bothered by it. Just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is, won't admit it but he still wants Bruce's approval but they're both to stubborn and communication challenged to actually have a productive conversation about their relationship and how to fix it-instead Jason antagonizes Bruce who misses that this is obviously Jason's cry for help/way of getting his attention because he just wants Bruce to love him- and instead somehow always manages to handle it in the worst way possible every single time (like beating him up).

Timothy "More espresso less depresso" Drake: One of the smartest people on the planet when it comes to everything but self care (and realizing his feelings for Kon...Like he tried to clone the guy back to life-that's not friendship love, that's love love). Literally runs on caffeine and spite, probably holds some world record for most shit done on the least amount of sleep. Terrifying badass master manipulator, could totally take over the world if he actually wanted to, probably has more contingency plans than even batman.

Cassandra *Stares directly into your soul* Cain-Wayne: Could beat up every member of the batfamily without even breaking a sweat and they all know it-literally one of the most skilled combatants on the planet. Is more fluent in body language than most people are in their native language. Is probably the only member of the batfam who actually knows how Bruce feels about her, really how he feels about all of them. Totally knows she's Bruce's favorite but isn't a Dick about it (pun fully intended- because before her he was the favorite and he was far less graceful about it)

Damien "You are all imbeciles" Wayne: Started out as a little turd with a massive superiority complex and mommy issues (and granddaddy issues) Is now somewhat less of a turd with worse mommy issues, batdaddy issues and a little less of a superiority complex...I think, he's had some humbling moments in the last few years, my favorite of which was when he started a fight with Jason and Jason kicked his ass into the next century. Still it's not fully his fault he is the way he is, he was raised as an assassin by an immortal lunatic and the world's worst mother (well she might have to arm wrestle Lady Shiva, Sheila Haywood and Shado for that title)

Duke "I'm part of this insanity too" Thomas: Only meta member of the batfam, which is a big deal. Patrols during the day because he's the only one not damaged enough to face sunlight. Probably the most well adjusted member of the family, maybe because he had good parents and didn't loose them until he was older than the others and thus did not spend his formative years with: a.Bruce-Wayne's-C-minus-Parenting, b.on the streets/with Batdad/ getting murdered because of birth mom's betrayal, c. alone in a mansion wayyyy to often by traveling parents/Bruce-Wayne's-D-minus-immediately-post-Jason's-death-parenting/coma-mom/finally-actively-parenting-basically-because-he's-paralyzed-and-his-wife-is-comatose-dad/the assassins trio, d.evil assassin dad who only had you to create the perfect solider and kept you from even learning to speak/Bruce-Wayne's-C-plus-Parenting/assassin mom who wants to kill you for being a better fighter than her, e.Talia, just everything about Talia/ Bruce-Wayne's-D-Plus-Parenting/Dick Grayson doing his best

[calypsoff2]

Seven. Part 2

Watching TJ walk off to go on my jet, oh that wasn’t what I thought was going to happen. I am stood with my mouth hung open in shock, TJ did a u-turn and jogged back over as I am still stood here in utter shock to my core, am I allowing this asshole to be this way. I am only remaining calm for my man; I don’t think he understands that part. I am literally going to go crazy on this man, I am just going crazy “look, I am sorry. I don’t want this beef with you, you’re a sister to me Robyn. I have said things that I don’t mean but I feel attacked, you’re a big persona and I understand you feel like I have done bad by Chris, but I haven’t, I ride for your husband to the end. I love him so much; he has done so much for me, and I am blessed by that. I don’t want this between us because I know you have a lot of power over things” crossing my arms across my chest “what did you come back? To just say that to me?” I am confused “because I feel bad, but I feel like you got beef with me. I have always supported Chris, even with Barry. It’s me that was there for Chris, always. I know how much he loves you, from jump” I need to show him how a real bitch is “didn’t you call me forehead in school? Or was I dreaming that? Didn’t you want me to not be around, you always made jokes about me. You went out of your way to make Chris not see it for me in school. I remember it but I let it go, you were nasty to me. Now you’re the same niggas lusting over me, I suggest you apologise. And you do it in front of Chris. While on the jet I am paying for, got it?” Looking down at him, I am like squaring up to him, but he has angered me a lot. I did like TJ but now he’s being a dick for no reason, he didn’t need to be like this “your husband just came out of hospital and you’re stressing him out? Your lifestyle ruined Barry, and Chris lost him. Still, Chris misses him and you making him do that again? It always makes me think that my friend has any balls, but he just leaves them in your hands, maybe I was right about you then. I am here trying to apologise, and you can’t even accept that. Mel is such a good person to live in your shadow, I know your vibe. Pretty girls are the worst, light skinned ones actually. I don’t really see how you both worked, I don’t get it because my friend, my Chris. He was the boss, and his ego would have overpowered yours, you broke that down. You sat there looking at me like shit; you had no right when I did nothing wrong Chris chose to give me that, we have that bond. We boys, he can speak to me about a lot, I don’t know about you miss busy” oh I want to punch him “can we just get on, sorry” balling my fist up “what is going on here” Jen said, I want to kill him, I really do.

I just felt like I was in school there, I had a major flashback to when I was at school. I didn’t have a good time at school in general, the only time I did have a good time was when Chris was there for me, just honestly it was Chris that made my school life bearable, but it was short lived, and he honestly is a good guy with shit people around him. He was always kind of talked out of being with me, friend wise and he always said it’s because you’re pretty that is why “earth calling Robyn?” Jen said, bringing me back to the fact I am stood in the middle of the hanger, and everyone is on the jet “what happened?” She said again, looking at the jet “just, I.” I paused saying “I don’t know what to do” I openly admitted “about what?” Jen is confused, she doesn’t know what has happened and I don’t blame her “I think we should go on the jet, we can talk then” Jen’ face softened “hey, oh my god. Why are you sad” waving her off “don’t” I said, I don’t need to be crying right at this moment. Suck it up Robyn, Jen held my hand as we made our way to the jet. I don’t want to hold the jet back now, but TJ and I really don’t speak like that anyways. I keep him there and I am here, I don’t agree with Chris paying for him all the time so I just stayed away from the situation and stuck to what I need to do but it’s too much and this really hit home, Camron is not my son and I feel like he’s making jibes at me thinking Camron is owed a life and owed to be in my family because I can’t give Chris that, I am sick “sorry girls” I held the jet up, Rylee looks unimpressed “mommy I want to sit next to daddy, or you are?” Rylee asked, shaking my head “I need to speak to auntie Jen, I’ll be in the back ok. You can sit there” making my way to the back “but Camron is there” I let out a deep sigh, of course he is there “then sit with Tianna, she is watching YouTube” I don’t have the patience to say anything right at this moment, I am just going to snap if I speak on it.

Jen turned to me “speak, what was that all about? All I heard was about having balls and the conversation seemed really deep into it?” I am of course going to tell Jen, that is my best friend, and I will always confide in her “we have the time, so Chris and TJ are friends, you know the whole background on that. They came up together that whole story thing, Chris gave TJ his clothing line to handle which I have no issues with, then move on a few years. Seiko, now this is Chris’ ex that loved him a lot, maybe still does love Chris but she actually got pregnant by TJ to piss Chris off now that shit popped off bad, I remember when it happened. Chris was hurt by it, it’s a bro code thing but it was over with, all forgiven so like we moved on. Seiko was neglecting Camron, I felt bad to hear that. She was using the child maintenance on not so good things but come to think of it, TJ never put them in a nice home. He paid and that’s it, Chris came to me and said I am upset, that is nephew. He comes here and has a good time but goes back to shit, school has been saying he doesn’t go and stuff. So I gave my lawyer, they won the case. Me, I did that, but Chris was happy. Don’t forget Chris has given the business to him, keep that in mind. Now we did this case, my lawyer, my bill. I didn’t get a thanks, no. It was Chris, he said a thanks, but I have other shit going on anyways so it’s whatever. Then Chris tells me oh TJ is living in the apartment complex just down the road, ten minutes away. Oh right ok, oh I erm just helped him to get it. He needs the help; Black Pyramid is behind. I said right, then help him silent partner. So TJ started to sell tees where it had Chris’ face and designs on, they sold out quick and he promoted it, I go Chris is he paying you back, oh yeah yeah. He didn’t, then Chris comes and says Camron is amazing at Basketball, you know people” Jen gasped pointing “you called me to say about the academy, it was for him?” Jen said, nodding my head “mommy I want juice” I was so deep in the conversation “Imani, please go to daddy. Ask him” I want to finish this conversation off.

Nodding my head “it was for him, I helped him. Got him into it, Chris thanked me. And this situation happened because Chris went to the Fenty Christmas party with TJ and Camron, Mel was there. He gave the SUV to them to go home, Mel was unwell apparently. I say that because Mel didn’t say that to me, she said they went out for some food. They went out in that SUV all around New York, knowing Chris needed that SUV, it was his. He got in the Uber because of them, Mel was literally is being shady as fuck about this. But anyways, so deep inside I am fucking angry. I am giving sly looks, TJ caught on. Because why is my husband putting himself out there for a child not his? So TJ pulled me to the side and said you been looking at me crazy, it’s not nice. I said it to him what it is, you are using my man, that is your child. He started speaking on me, he said maybe if you gave him that son” my voice broke “maybe if you give him what he wants maybe he won’t do that, he just started poking at it knowing I lost the baby. Then out there he mentioned it, like sorry I said what I said but me and Chris are close we speak on things. If you give him that, like pressurising me for this” Jen shushed me because my voice is now becoming even more strained “say something?” Jen said “he mentioned I broke their relationship, then leave my husband with no friends. He adores him Jen” her face softened “but you’re his wife” she retorted “and maybe I should have stayed in my place, I shouldn’t have gave him looks, you know” I sniffled “I get it but he has no right to speak on your body, you have lost two babies. That is some nasty ass shit to say, I want to knock his fucking block off” I laughed a little “he wasn’t always a fan of us to be honest, I kind of got in the way in school. It’s just like the same vibe, I kept out of the way, I have been too busy for this shit. Now I am home and here, I see it. I just left it alone, I did” wiping my tears, Jen’ eyes widened looking behind me. Looking to the side of me Chris is just hovering over me. I feel like I got caught “what is happening here?” wiping my tears “we are just having lady talk now Chris, come on” Chris frowned “my wife is crying, why? Robyn why are you crying” now I am panicking because I just don’t want to do this, I am here trying to open up to Jen “Robyn, hey. Talk to me” I can’t, getting up from the seat. He is making me want to cry more “What happened Jen? Robyn” making my way to the toilet, I am not really wanting to speak to Chris.

Chris is stubborn, he won’t leave me until he knows I am ok and he will keep asking and asking and he will wait outside this door until I come out. Taking in a deep breath opening the door “seriously?” Chris stared at me unimpressed with how long I took “what is it? I am ok, Jen and I was just speaking on things. I cried happy tears, you know how it is when I speak on my dad” Chris is searching my eyes, he is wanting to know the truth “yeah but you been like that at the hospital, also what was you speaking about to TJ? You been really odd since then actually” clearing my throat “we just spoke on things, that is all. Look I am just having a talk with Jen ok? It’s fine” he is not believing me, but he will have too “ok” he touched my shoulder and then placing his hand on my cheek “I got you” he breathed out, he is annoyed like he lowkey doesn’t believe me either “I will sit down then, I got an eye on you though Robyn” Chris turned walking off “on god” he said, Jen smiled at me awkwardly, I didn’t think Chris was watching me like that actually. Making my way back to the seat “Chris kept asking what I said, what happened. Why is she crying, what did I say. Anyways back to the part where I murder him” I breathed out laughing “not that now, I just think I don’t want Chris to lose another friend in this. I feel like Chris is saying something to him for him to be saying this, Chris must be speaking on this a lot, you know?” Jen nodded her head “they all talk, these men do. But he has no right to repeat it, he has no right to speak on your fertility. Same with Chris, it’s tiring for you Robyn. You are working so hard, I have two boys and dealing with this. You have three girls and dealing with being the face of the company, my ass can skype a meeting, you are literally the face of it, here and there. You both still have time, things will calm down, but he has no right. I want to hit him” Jen will do that for me, I love her.

I have caught Chris twice look over at me to check if I am ok, I adore him a lot “am I weak Jen? Be truthful with me?” looking over at her “erm, pre mommy Robyn I think you would be ripping his ass, but I think you are more thinking of the bigger picture, you see that this weasel is close friends with Chris. School years too, you’re stuck between telling Chris or just keeping it to yourself, but I would mention to Chris that you want that boy to not be paid for, he has nothing to do with you. That has to stop, that is your empire, your money. That ends, he may dislike it but then you take it from there. You will see his true colours, meaning TJ. If he kicks off then it will be about the money” nodding my head “he keeps throwing that Chris pushes to have it, but as a man he can say no too” I added “exactly but always remember this, you have the power to destroy that friendship and I think he hates it. He is envious of that; I think he is. I understand what you are doing but don’t ever let that weasel think he has one over you, because he doesn’t. You will pounce when it’s good and ready, but I would reign it in. Say to him that stops, then we will see TJ’ true intentions, let’s see. If he doesn’t kick off and he does it then maybe he was right in a way but do that” nodding my head, he is a bastard and I will expose him, or shall I say he will expose himself.

[number5theboy]

ALRIGHT

THIS SEASON

IT WAS A LOT

my liveblogged thoughts under the cut

Episode 1

·         Exhilarating! I love Ben

·         Ben already has more lines in these first five minutes than he had in the first season

·         This montage is good

·         ALLISON BABY

·         Luther yelled for Diego first I love this

·         Diego is immediately in vigilante mode…….hot

·         THE SHOT PARELLING VANYA’S FIRST WORDS

·         Vanya is a mess we love to see it

·         The shot of Five’s feet hitting the puddle? So aesthetically pleasing

·         The battle scene is such a smart way of reintroducing everyone’s powers and their Final Form™ succinctly

·         I love Hazel. So much.

·         The Umbrella Atomic Explosion™ is SO clever I love it

·         ALRIGHT UNCHARTERED TERRITORY LET’S GOOOOOOOOOOO

·         Oh Hazel and Five make me soft

·         Agnes and Hazel had a good life

·         Hazel is so dead

·         Welp that took no time at all

·         “How many times did I say bulletproof briefcases?” ily mister five

·         I love the Swedes they’re stupid

·         Are we ever gonna know what Agnes made Hazel promise?

·         Five is honestly world’s best character

·         FUTURE HEADQUARTERS

·         “Well the truth is out there!” abkdkblhlkbkhl

·         I shouldn’t make quick judgments, but conspiracy nut guy is nice and I hope he doesn’t turn out evil, because I also through Harold was nice in the beginning

·         Diego got himself arrested already what an idiot

·         Asddjgflkflhfl Diego’s problems all put out

·         Okay, set-up for Diego’s character arc of self-actualisation we love to see it

·         Lila is awesome, but I hope they don’t make her crush on him excessively

·         Diego and Five is an underrated duo

·         THEY ARE SO BICKERY

·         Five is jut gonna murder him sometime along the way

·         I LOVE FIVE SO MUCH WHAT A LITTLE SHIT

·         Oof Vanya is so cute in that outfit

·         This scene perfectly encapsulates women having to listen to men

·         VANYA’S GOING TO MILFTOWN Y’ALL

·         I cannot tell white men apart, does Carl look like conspiracy nut guy or is it just me?

·         As usual, Ben and Klaus are bad at everything

·         “neither does your beard” icon Ben Hargreeves

·         I support Ben pummelling Klaus

·         I passionately hate the beard and love the coat

·         Why do all the white men look alike, I thought this poker dude was a Swede

·         I KNEW BEN WAS LYING

·         “Pick a better time to self-actualise!”

·         I still hate the beard, let’s see if it grows on me

·         Yusuf Gatewood………….hot

·         By far the hottest couple so far in TUA

·         Please tell me she’s not still hung up on Luther

·         Yes she is goddammit

·         The moon thing is cute though, I can appreciate that

·         Luther finally gets a well-soundtracked fight scene I love it

·         OI THAT WAS BRUTAL HOLY SHIT

·         Oh Luther is pulling a Five in feeling bad about his excessive violence

·         I already hate his boss

·         Raymond marry me pls

·         Allison marry me pls

·         OH MY GOD VANYA LAUGHED

·         Sissy and Vanya have excellent chemistry

·         Oh I see the deliberate parallel with Vanya, Umbrella Academy, you aren’t fooling me

·         SWEDISH ASSASSINS BABY

·         Do you think they’ll say a single word or?

·         Literally the only way this show knows how to signal danger is through flickering lights

·         Two bopping fight scene and Five hasn’t been in any of them

·         Lila and Diego have no braincells between them it’s beautiful

·         Alright, she knows how to fight……..supicious

·         If this show wasn’t so hellbent on making Luther and Allison a thing, he would be best ace rep

·         Lmao “I don’t give a shit” I love you Luther

 EPISODE TWO

·         ALRIGHT THE HANDLER IS BACK???????

·         Okay so Hazel and Cha-Cha are dead but that pestilence still runs around??? Bruuuuuuuuuh

·         Kate Walsh is still hot though

·         AJ??????

·         THE FISH SMOKES?!?

·         God the Commission is such a capitalist hellhole

·         Oh there we have 743

·         H E R B

·         Okay I am here to see her humiliated but please no redemption arc for her

·         I love the deliberate parallels between Five and the Handler

·         “Like a masseuse?” IDIOTS

·         Oh Five is so lost and vulnerable baby boy

·         Also the character developments in Luther!!!!!

·         “Dad should’ve left him on the moon.” Five is, simply said, an icon

·         Oof Sissy is SO cute

·         I’m already not ready for Five to find Vanya

·         Lila is so extra can we keep her

·         Great now I have sympathy for Carl

·         Luther’s new outfit looks so good on him

·         OH LUTHER IS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE HER

·         Well that was dramatic and didn’t lead anywhere

·         Alright two episodes in, Civil Rights plotline hasn’t been fucked up yet

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SWEDE DRINKING SO CONSCPICOUSLY

·         ELLIOTT IS THE NAME OF MISTER CONSPIRACY

·         “cousins on my robot mother’s side”

·         “Imagine Batman, then aim lower.”

·         Lila is great I love her

·         Diego is gonna throw both Five and Lila through a wall at some point

·         Five is so ready to throw Diego under the bus

·         Klaus Hargreeves, world’s worst cult leader

·         ……….did Klaus built a cult on pop lyrics?

·         Klaus and Raymond bonding I love it

·         DIEGO AND FIVE BEST TEAM

·         REGINALD IS THE UMBRELLA MAN

·         OH LUTHER IS GONNA FIND HER HOLY SHIT

·         THE BARN FROM THE PROMO PICTURE

·         This scene is so good

·         “You shouldn’t be the one to apologise.” I’M GONNA CRY

·         Tom Hopper and Ellen Page are so good in this scene

·         WHY DID HE LEAVE

·         What the flying fuck is up with the Swedes

·         BRO WHAT THE FUCK

·         Is Five ever gonna bring up the fact that he was supposed to kill Kennedy or?

·         Raymond is wasted on someone who doesn’t give him her whole heart

·         What the FUCK, Klaus

·         Why does she remember her name tho

·         The violin starting up when she talks about the callouses on Vanya’s hands

·         Brotherly bonding is my new favourite scene

·         Do the filmmakers know that your scene can be suspenseful and well-lit

·         Okay maybe baby Pogo is cute

·         There is gonna be no Five murdering spree, the blood is solely from Pogo

·         Next well-soundtracked fight scene

·         The choreography of this!!!!!

·         Man Reginald is a shitty dad before he even becomes a dad

·         Diego cannot catch a break poor baby

 EPISODE 3

·         SHITTY WIG ON KLAUS ALERT

·         THE LEVITATION IS BEN I HATE THIS

·         So far, all title card umbrellas have not disappointed

·         You are running in a straight line you really should hit her

·         Yep, Watchmen flashbacks

·         Luther remains cute and awkward

·         THEY ARE TALKING TO EACH OTHER BABY

·         S E Q U I N S

·         SNEAKY LADY ALLISON IS BACK

·         FINALLY

·         A HUG  

·         Allison and Klaus are so cute

·         What in the goddamn Looney Tunes is this outfit lady

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU LADY

·         ALLISON HARGREEVES YOU QUEEN

·         This spooky ghost show is great

·         Everyone going off on Five is great

·         @ this show stop ripping Vanya and Five apart and let them be soft

·         Diego is so naked this entire season

·         Diego and Lila are a good dynamic

·         Elliott is a babe I love him

·         The Handler continues to be creepy about Five

·         So much driving

·         Luther is baby and Raymond deserves better than to deal with all the baggage from all the Hargreeves brothers

·         HE SHAVED THE BEARD

·         Ouch this is awkward

·         I don’t get why they didn’t cast normal Dave to play young Dave they’re not that far apart in age

·         Oh he’s gonna have to let Dave go

·         Oh this scene must be so triggering

·         Oh shit’s bad and it’s only episode 3

·         PUPPY???

·         WE WERE RIGHT ABOUT LILA

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN THANKS MOM

 EPISODE 4

·         Oh my god the Handler is pure fucking evil

·         She learnt the fighting from her mom alright

·         THE RED BOOTS WERE THERE ALL ALONG

·         Man I hoped that the antisemitism was gone

·         Vanya being protective of Luther :’)

·         Luther only has shitty father figures

·         I can’t believe they were better organised last season

·         Why do you hate the Vanya/Five dynamic so much, show?

·         Five got an extra dose of asshole today this season huh

·         Reggie is probably the twelfth

·         Oh boy Klaus is a trainwreck

·         That marriage is also a trainwreck

·         I understand Ray though

·         Why is there Styx on this soundtrack

·         Oh Klaus baby

·         GALA NIGHT BITCHES

·         Five is a smart young old man

·         Oh baby is eating his heart out

·         Oh the hug makes me soft though

·         Honestly, Tom Hopper and Emmy Raver Lampman have such cute chemistry

·         AWKWARD DARLING MAN

·         “Doomsday” *nervous chuckle*

·         Ballroom lessons as kids

·         This is an excellent dance scene

·         OH MY GOD MOM WAS MADE AFTER A REAL WOMAN

·         THIS SHOW MAN THIS SHOW

·         Reggie is gross

·         Diego’s mommy AND daddy issues are put on blast this season

·         Sissy is such a babe

·         Man we got budget BUDGET for this season

·         Alright, the white violin can revive people now cool cool cool

·         How different her powers are when powered by love

·         I love Elliott I hope he survives the eason

·         I am down for Luther and Elliott getting high together

·         LET’S GO LESBIIIAAAAAAAAAANS

·         God Allison and Klaus make me so soft

·         I am very supportive of Elliott and Luther becoming bros

·         You already shanked one son, go poker stick another one

·         YES EXCELLENT FIGHT MUSIC

·         They both?????? Just left him to fend for himself??????????

·         Ancient Greek??? Bitch what

·         This show is rated for violence and we have barely seen any!!!!!! What!!!!!!!

 Episode 5

·         Okay baby Pogo and Grace is adorable

·         Why is Pogo in space now

·         THEY KILLED POGO

·         AGAIN

·         Hargeeves got a hug before Five did what the effing fuck

·         He might be a dick but his instincts are good

·         Haha old cowboy

·         Ben is so done

·         Vanya……..Sissy……..my heart

·         Wow Reginald continues to be a massive arse

·         Luther/Diego/Five are DUMB and I love them

·         “No, bro, he shanked your heart.”

·         God the Handler!!!!!!

·         THE MUSIC AT THE REUNION

·         We didn’t even see Five reunite with Allison and Klaus!!!!!

·         GOD WHAT A SISTERLY UPGRADE

·         KLAUS VANYA AND ALLISON HUGGING

·         Allison and Diego rights babey!!!

·         Are the Swedes ever gonna say something or

·         LILA AND FIVE TEAM-UP LET’S GO

·         I’VE MISSED YOU ALL SO MUCH I’M GONNA CRY BABY

·         The red-blue dynamic in Luther and Diego I live for that

·         Luther and Diego are gooooooood together

·         What is up with that

·         Klaus, Vanya and Allison are dumbasses and I love them so much

·         Alright where are the Swedes doing and why is that tree so creepy

·         Oh the youngest Swede just went tits-up

·         Please tell me Five is finally getting a fight scene

·         Excellent fight scene

·         Great, now I feel sad for the Swedes

·         They deffo have a cooler aesthetic than Hazel and Cha-Cha

·         This cover is beautiful

 EPISODE 6

·         This wig looks better than Klaus’

·         Also Ben has barely been in this season where is he at

·         Oof Ray is so cute

·         The Handler and Five have such good chemistry holy shit

·         Diego, Luther and Vanya are a god-tier dynamic

·         We love the CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

·         BENNY BOY HAS A CRUSH

·         Wait how is this only episode six I feel like this is already the pensum of the first season

·         Clothing montage baby!!!!!

·         God they look so good together

·         Oh Allison can be RUTHLESS

·         THE BINGO CARDS

·         Oh no no no no I didn’t think Klaus and Dave could be even more tragic

·         THEY TALK

·         God she is so fucking creepy stop lusting after a child

·         World’s most satisfying elevator shot

·         This scene is chaos I love it

·         God everyone just harps on Diego’s daddy issues jesus

·         Oh baby no

·         Oh babies no

·         NO NOT THE DISSOLUTION OF TEAM ZERO

·         Why are there so many antisemitic dogwhistles in this

·         This scene between Five and Reginald is good

·         NOT ELLIOTT

·         Oh no no no no Carl

·         Alright at least this promises a good fight scene

 EPISODE 7

·         This polka music bops

·         Wait how did he get to 1982

·         HE SAID FUCK

·         Man Carmichael was out so quick

·         No fish-eating?

·         Awwwww Klaus and Ben have a heart to heart

·         Oh God, Diego and Luther have no brain activity between the two of them

·         That is a Look

·         Oh this montage of Ben rediscovering touch

·         The writing of this show was oddly prophetic

·         Oh wait Vanya’s gonna be incarcerated too right????

·         Oh this is heart-breaking

·         Really?????? Ben’s the dorky one???

·         Oh my god Ben is getting a hug and Diego is so soft

·         Man why are Five and Vanya so antagonistic

·         FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

·         Dude a fight between them would have been so epic

·         Diego

·         You idiot

·         Oh Allison really loves him and he loves her

·         Oh I am so sad

·         Yeah this episode is infinitely worse than the day that wasn’t

·         FUCK YEAH BACKSTREET BOYS

·         What the fuck

·         Yo that is sadistic as fuck Allison what the flying fuck

·         This scene might ruin the song for me

·         There definitely was an easier way out

·         They fucked it up

·         I am not surprised

 EPISODE 8

·         Oh she speaks Russian

·         Five just snapped and honestly deserves it

·         Yeah I feel for the Swede

·         What is it with commission assassins and axes this season

·         “Your vagina needs fresh glasses.”

·         Nepotism

·         Oh Grace is turning on him baby!!

·         Ha remember when we were all like ‘oh no they’re making Reggie sympathetic’

·         Yeah so much for that

·         Five and Luther are……..soft

·         What the fuck is up with that

·         AYYYY BUTTHOLE SURFERS ON THE SOUNDTRACK

·         Oooooohhhhhhh trippy kid scene

·         Also Reggie is bad at German

·         I love Luther and Five so much

·         We finally get to see older Five’s tie pattern

·         Alright Lila makes me uncomfortable

·         FIVE IS GONNA GO FERAL Y’ALL LET’S GO

·         Man after the last rampage you’d think they’d upped security in this place

·         Herb for president!!

·         Some catch Diego’s ego is going berserk

·         Oh not again

·         Dot is a rebel now

·         Everyone is ragging on Five, even Five

·         This is so trippy

·         Oh yeah the brains. Forgot about those.

·         I……….sad

·         Oh my god oh my god oh my god

·         Of course it’s all the government’s fault

·         Love how they just walked into an FBI building

·         Bro what the fuck is going on

EPISODE 9

·         Allison is always there for Vanya and I love her

·         Hello Klaus and Diego are so cute

·         Oh my heart you go Klaus

·         So much for that

·         BUT BEN

·         YOU ARE CLIFF-HANGERING BE INSIDE AN EPISODE

·         Crazy Five is an idiot I love him

·         “I’m the daddy here” is not the gazelle, but it’ll do in a pinch

·         The 743!!!!!!

·         Oh God, Harlan is in danger

·         She loves him?!? You barely know the man!!!!!!

·         WHAT’S ON THE PAPER

·         Oh it’s her file

·         HELLO LET US SEE THE FIVES TYING TO OFF EACH OTHER

·         This continues to be trippy

·         These visuals are so stunning

·         This is my favourite scene so far, this is so good, this is an excellent talk

·         NO

·         NOT BEN

·         NOT BEN

·         “I’m askin’, Carl.” You go Sissy, love you, you’re doing excellent

·         Alright, we have a mini-Vanya here

·         Oh I hate the Handler so fucking much she is the worst

·         What a plot-twist

·         Oh god so much is going on in this season

·         Oh we get fish-eating, but it’s not Five? That���s lame

·         Why are they all so hell-bent on making stupid decisions

·         Klaus you idiot

·         Oh that SON OF A BITCH HARGREEVES

·         What the fuck what is on the dark side of the moon

·         What the flying fuck what the fuck what tebdjbdgkbjdsgkbjgsdjgnj

·         WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE GOING TO WAR

 EPISODE 10

·         Oh the kids are back for Ben’s funeral

·         I hate this

·         Reginald is just. The worst.

·         My emotions are all over the place

·         Oh……..babies

·         OH MY GOD DIEGO

·         AND FIVE

·         It wouldn’t hurt to go to an abandoned farm

·         God this is a family of shitty choices

·         I don’t want Ben to be gone

·         FAMILY TIME

·         Oh shit I totally forgot about the last Swede

·         BRO THE STAKES

·         YEAH THIS LOOKS BAD

·         ALRIGHT Harland is gonna be alright

·         All these assassins have shit aim

·         HE’S MATRIXING

·         LILA’S ONE OF THE 43

·         SHE CAN ABSORB AND REDIRECT THEIR ENERGIES

·         ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM ONE OF THEM

·         Awwwwww they love each other

·         Oh great THEY’RE DEAD AGAIN

·         Oh now LILA will have to fix the timeline

·         Wait now they’re all dead

·         The swede to the rescue?

·         Please tell me she’s dead for good this time

·         We love a de facto protagonist saving everyone’s asses once more

·         GO VANYA SAVE THE BABY

·         Dot and Herb are precious dumbasses

·         This is heart-breaking, but I understand Sissy so much

·         WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CLIFFHANGER

[paniccord-ff]

52 Part 2

I cannot believe I have ended up in my old department, I had no choice. I drove like this and this is the closest place and I had Royalty so I panicked, I feel like crying. It’s like my worst nightmare coming to reality “do you feel pain, any urge to push?” the nurse asked me, shaking my head “nothing, I feel nothing! I said this already!” I half shouted “ok, we need to check the baby ASAP, please sit down” turning around seeing the wheelchair “out of every person you had to get him?” why Daniel, why does this happen “I thought the same thing, this ain’t about you is it though?” he got a point “I don’t want him in the room with me” sitting down in the chair slowly, I had such meltdown that Royalty also did, and then she cried and then I cried, it’s a mess “come here” I need to make sure she is ok, picking Royalty onto my lap “is there nobody else here with you?” Daniel asked me “no because this wasn’t supposed to happen, I am alone” he went silent pushing me “mommy sad” Royalty touched my cheek “I’ll be ok” smiling at her, I am worried as fuck because I don’t feel anything.

The Jet I ordered took too long and the only flight that was leaving now was this Delta flight, so I just got on it but I am sat in Economy with Joe and Carlos. It’s been a while since I have sat in Economy anyways, I have heard a couple of people say that can’t be Chris Brown but bitch it is “I shouldn’t have left her, I am angry at myself. I knew she was alone, I knew it but yet I left her. Who’s going to help her huh? My mom is trash as fuck so now what? I messed up, but he was not supposed to come now” I am so fucking stupid, I shouldn’t have left for some quick money “stop worrying, we have like thirty minutes left and we will be there” Joe said to me “if I miss this I will never forgive myself, I will take this personally. Why isn’t she picking up her phone?” looking down at my phone “she called me and I could barely hear but all I heard was that she needed to go to the hospital and that her waters broke, tell Chris and she rushed off but I heard Royalty crying” resting my head back sighing out, my poor baby “fuck, didn’t she tell you where? I don’t know where Joe? Where is she? I called Nathan, he said he will track her down, Blake is with Tyga. She needs to tell me Joe” I am so scared, I am so very scared that something is going to happen and I am not there.

Why is this flight so long, I am cramped as fuck “no pictures please ma’am” Carlos said at the side of me, rubbing my face feeling agitated as fuck. Looking to the side of me, it was only a little girl. A few years older than Roro, smiling at her “Carlos, she is a kid” he shrugged not caring “I said no pictures nigga, no pictures” he is so moody “man” I sighed out saying “how dare my son try and be born while I am not there, all those talks and he still ain’t listen to me” the seat in front of me decided to recline their seat “I think the fuck not bruh” the white dude has his headphones on so I reached over and hit them off “move your seat forward, I ain’t playing” the white dude looked in shock “how dare you touch me” he is gay and is going to make a scene “first of all I hit your headphones off ya big head, move your seat now” who’s idea was to put us in the middle aisle “Chris, switch seats with me” Joe said getting up “no, you assaulted me” I snorted laughing “fuck you dude” getting up from the seat “he ain’t do shit, do we have an issue” Joe is pretty scary when he wants to be, the guy turned around “good” Joe doesn’t want the trouble, he just wants a peaceful flight.

This car needs to hurry up, I need to get there already. I have called Rylee about ten times now, Nathan got nothing, I hope Rylee has just come to the private hospital so it will be less headache for me “fuck this traffic, I will run there. It is only around the block” I am done sitting around “chill Chris, just around the block and we will be there” He reassured me, the SUV soon started driving “what if she is having the baby right now? I am sat here and she is there, oh my god. Royalty is probably not leaving her alone either, I am so stressed” seeing the hospital “stop the car here!” I spat, the car came to an abrupt stop. I am just getting out of the car here, banging the car door shut behind me running around the car. Hearing the doors close behind me as I ran between the cars on the road, they honked at me but I don’t care. Pushing open the door and running towards the reception “hello, how can I help?” she was quick to ask all wide eyed “Rylee, Rylee Brown. Is she here? I need to know please! Did she come here? Pregnant, with a little girl with her” she turned to her computer “I will check for you” I hope she is here, where else could Rylee go because this is where she is supposed to have the baby “no, I cannot see Rylee Turner here. Her file state that she is not due to come yet” shaking my head “she’s not Turner anymore, is there nothing? She has not come here at all?” she shook her head, what the fuck am I going to do.

Biting on my bottom lip “we need to go to every hospital in LA, we need to find her” there is nothing else I can think of, opening the SUV door “next hospital we can find bro” Joe closed the door for me, looking down at my phone “come on Rylee” why is she not calling me, my phone lit up with Rylee’ name “yes, oh my god!” I spat answering the call “Rylee! Where are you!?” shouting down the phone “thank you, can you give me phone now” hearing Rylee say, Royalty must have the phone “Chris” just hearing her voice, I feel so much more better “where are you? I am in LA” rubbing my eyes with my fingers “I am at my old place of work, just please” her voice broke “I am coming now, just hold tight. I am coming” I don’t like to hear my baby crying.

How the hell did she even end up in this place, I wanted private, not this garbage “she is on the maternity ward, we moved her” I didn’t even have to say anything “she is having the baby!?” I spat, she shook her head “no, she needed to be where we could give the best help to her” nodding my head, so she is not having the baby just yet so I have not missed anything “thank you god” I said in a whisper, I didn’t miss anything “you good now?” Joe hit my back “yeah I am, I feel a little better. I just need to see her, that is it now. Peanut got me all scared” Joe chuckled “you really love calling him Peanut, don’t you? He about to think that is his name” stepping onto the elevator “he is my little Peanut, a nigga can’t wait to see him. Can’t wait to show him the world, it’s about to be special” I am so excited but worried, I want everything to be ok with Rylee though.

Why do I need to buzz in, why can’t I just walk in. Nobody answers this shit either “yo, hear that?” Carlos said, looking at Carlos “that scream” Carlos said in a whisper “you newbies are funny, y’all hearing a woman scream. Wait till Chris sees it, it’s going to be funny” the door opened as some nurse walked out, fuck this I am walking in. Pushing my way in, who the hell do I ask “excuse me, ma’am. I am looking for my wife, Rylee Brown. She should be here” she stared at my face for a while “yes I am Chris Brown but please just show me her” I had to just say it “she is down the hall, the last room on left hand side. She is in there” finally, I am close “thank you” jogging off down the hall, nothing but pregnant women walking around, it is so hectic. We wouldn’t have had this at the private hospital, I need to move her because she can’t be here.

Pushing open the door, maybe I should have knocked but no. Seeing Royalty stood next to a chair playing with Rylee’ handbag “daddy!” Royalty shrieked, moving away from the bag walking to me “hey baby” picking Royalty up “you’re still awake so late” squeezing Royalty close to me walking into the room, seeing Rylee laying on the bed with something around her stomach “I am sorry” Rylee shook her head crying “don’t, please come here” she sobbed out crying, feeling tears pricking my eyes walking over to Rylee, holding Royalty close to me. Pressing a kiss to Rylee’ cheek “please don’t cry, I am sorry” holding Royalty close with my one arm and hugging Rylee with the other “don’t be sorry, I am just so glad you are here” I sniffled moving back “I was so scared” holding Rylee’ hand “sit down, I will tell you” I hope everything is ok.

Placing Royalty on my lap, holding Rylee’ hand again “what happened? What is that on your stomach?” what have they done to my wife “to monitor the baby’ heartbeat, oh Chris. I was so scared” Rylee cried out “I had nobody to call, the baby wasn’t moving. I cried and then Royalty cried, I was getting the pizza and then I just felt the water going down my leg. I was driving and he wasn’t moving, so they did a scan” Rylee wiped her tears “he is fine, nothing is wrong. His heart is beating but they said I am stressing so the baby is but I didn’t know what to do, I had nobody. I had to be strong for Roro, the doctor took some swabs and are doing tests but I don’t feel like pushing at all, there is no pain. They said the baby knows when I am sad, I mean I should know this. But I don’t blame you Chris. This is not your fault at all” I feel so sad for Rylee, maybe I took her away from her family and her people, I left nobody behind for Rylee either.

I am so angry at myself “so you drove here on your own?” I asked “I had no choice Chris, who was going to help me? I may have wet the seat, I couldn’t stop it. They got this padding under me right now, I feel nasty. I ruined the leather seat. God, I hate this” moving my hand away from Rylee “I will sort it out, I understand. This is the first place to come, I am here now though. I think we need to get uncle Mijo, you want to go and see Mylen?” Royalty side eyed me “you tired, you giving me stank looks because of that” kissing Royalty’ cheek “I’ll get Mijo to get her or I will see what the doctor says. Stop worrying, everything should be ok. So you feel no pain?” not like I know what the fuck is happening right now “I wouldn’t be this calm Chris” she got a point, I would be getting beat up right now so let me not push her.

With Royalty sleeping on my shoulder, pacing the room looking at the stomach “so the heartbeat on that is Peannut’?” this is crazy “yeah it is, can you not be in the room Chris. This is not going to be pretty, me giving birth won’t be nice at all. Can you like not be here?” Rylee is being stupid now “you know I will be” a knock at the door as it opened up “it’s me” this lady walked in “you must be the husband?” she got her hand out to me “yes I am” I love someone that can act normal “I am the doctor that is doing the tests on Rylee, we have the results back” I hope it is nothing bad “Rylee, you are going through preterm, prelabour which hasn’t triggered any labour at all. You are thirty-five weeks and we do like it to be thirty-seven weeks or more, but with this we don’t want to risk keeping the baby inside of you. The fluid has left you and is still coming out, we don’t want to risk infection for you or the baby because then things can get complicated. We are going to induce the labour within twenty-four hours. We will keep very close checks on you, hopefully within then the labour may come” Rylee stared at me, she is scared and doesn’t want it now “can we just like wait it out?” the doctor took in a sharp breath “I don’t want to risk it, he is early but he can come out now” licking my lips “we actually need to go to another hospital, is this something we can do?” the doctor nodded “yes of course, just do not do anything to strain yourself. we can transfer her” shaking my head “I can do that, she got me now” I need to support my woman.

I am dying to go to the private hospital, at least it gives me a bed to sleep in. I want to sleep “don’t look at me” Rylee barked at me as she walked out from the bathroom “why?” staring at her “because I am wearing a diaper, how shameful. Just get me out of here, ugh. I am wearing a fucking diaper Chris” I need to not laugh “just laugh” damn, I thought I was keeping a straight face “you’re not going through it, I am! You laugh all you fucking want” now she is angry “can Joe come in now? And also, is your car parked outside. I will drive it” I might as well drive her there “yes the Bentley is in the car park” I froze looking at Rylee “the what?” I asked “Bentley, no way I could climb up the Range” she really drove the Bentley “so you really drove the Bentley while you was peeing?” Rylee glared at me and I soon regretted it “you know what, I am just going to check on Joe” she ruined my car with that, oh my god.

[akseedragon713]

Hello and welcome to the arrowverse (or legends of superflarrow or whatever)! Here is a list of characters and the important thing to know about them, starting with Arrow!

(spoilers)

First off is Oliver Queen.

He’s basically robin hood with daddy AND mommy issues. He also has a sister complex and more ex girlfriends than Jack Harkness. Quite a few have tried to kill him.

He was a total playboy before he slept with his current girlfriend’s sister on a boat and crashed, getting stuck on an island for five years. He went crazy and started killing people on the island. But not to crazy. Mostly just murderous. I mean he wasn’t even on the island the whole time and he never went to see his mom and sister. He was to busy killing people.

So he eventually went home n everything and became murderous robin hood to protect his sister from drugs and kill of all the people on his dad’s hit list. Yay?

He sorta starts a gang of vigilantes.

Thea Queen is Oliver’s sister.

Thea is a kid when her dumb older brother goes missing. She gets addicted to drugs for a while but she’s fine and has no lasting effects at all because movie magic! Anyway Oliver returns home. Turns out her real dad is the father of her brother’s best friend and her crush since like forever. Which makes her brothers best friend her brother. Just go with it.

So her dad shows up and is like “hey, I’m an assassin and I’m going to teach you how to protect yourself!” And she’s like- “okay!”

Then her brother Oliver find out and gets mad and tells his sister that he’s basically batman and robin hood’s love child and she’s like “Cool. Can I wear a red costume?”

So she becomes the vigilante Speedy.

Also she dies at one point. But she’s fine.

Remember Oliver’s current girl friend? That was Dinah Laurel Lance.

So Laurel right. Happy in a relationship with a playboy. Until said boy disappears on a boat with your sister.

So Oliver comes home alone right. She hates him, she thought he was dead and blames him for her sister’s death. But then she sees his totally awesome scars he got and they become cool. Anyway she has no idea he’s actually dark, brooding robin hood. Until she find out. And then it turns out her sister aka the bird girl is alive.

Then her sister dies for real.

So she becomes the amazing blackbird girl! Because reasons. Eventually Oliver is like “Kay.” And she joins his vigilante gang and attacks people with sound. Cool, right? Also did I mention that she is hot?

Also I think she died too lol.

So bird girl! (Sarah Lance)

Sarah is the hot blonde Bi chick. She had a crush on her sister’s boyfriend and was like “crap.” But then he returns her affections and is like “hey wanna ride on my sex boat?” and she’s like “yeah!”

So then the boat totally crashes and sarah nearly dies and now she’s all alone. Yay. But it’s okay she gets found by a super hot girl whose dad runs a cult so she joins the cult to get some if you know what I mean.

Anyway one day this weird green not-batman shows up in her hometown so she goes home, becomes the amazing Bird girl! and saves her sister and then she dies but she’d fine.

Then she totally travels through time with a british dork and a bunch of the worst time travelers ever.

EVER.

There’s this guy named John Diggle.

Diggle was in the army with his brother. his brother died in the war. When Diggle went home, he became a bodyguard.

He got a job protecting this dumb rich boy named oliver who had been missing for five years right. The dumb boy always ditched him.

It turns out that the boy is actually a new vigilante who shoots arrows and kills things. At first, Dig’s all like “WTF man.” But then he’s all like “let me help you bro.”

So Diggle joins a vigilante gang thing to save the city they live in.

Eventually, he gets the code name Spartan.

Oh also he has this wife who’s a kickass spy. But they got divorced. Then got back together. Then had a kid. Then finally got married again. Yay!

Another character is Felicity Smoak!

Felicity is the cute if slightly dirty minded computer hacktress. She works for Queen Consolidated. The guy who owns her company randomly asked her to do strange computer things that seem very illegal, but she’s all like, “Kay…” And does the thing.

One day she finds her boss bleeding out in the back of her car.

And that’s how she joined Oliver Queen and his merry men!

I mean vigilantes.

Anyway, she’s weirdly good at hacking into government places which is honestly kinda creepy?

She’s adorable, talks a lot, wears glasses, and doesn’t think that Oliver is hot at all nope why would you think that she’s not watching him train shirtless she’s hacking stuff.

She gets the code name Overwatch! Maybe it’s because she watches over the team and helps them through the com system. Maybe she plays way too much Overwatch on her computer. Who knows?

Roy Harper is next!

So Roy is just a random guy who lives it the legit worst part of town. He likes helping people though. So one day he meets this rich girl named Thea after stealing her purse and falls in love with her. But then he learns about the super overprotective big brother.

Anyway, he sorta gets kidnapped and saved by this vigilante robin hood. He gets obsessed with the guy, and asks if he can help robin hood. But robin hood’s all like, “Ha-no.”

Then Roy gets kidnapped again and they inject him with this weird mira-kira stuff or something. It gives him super strength but he also becomes a little murderous.

So it turns out Thea’s older brother is robin hood and he teaches Roy fun vigilante stuff.

Also Roy gets cured. He’s totally fine.

He gets the code name Arsenal, but sometimes Red Hood. I mean Red Robin. I mean- screw it. He’s literally just a red version of robin hood.