#like i don’t want to use my own experience of having that convo

[loverboydotcom]

im SOOOO ready and excited to be done with chapter one of this fucking draft so i can actually see how the story will progress not just in the present but the beautiful chronological flashbacks showcasing beau and his best friend bobby. but also in order to do that i also have to get past what is probably going to be the worst and most awkward flashback to write which I’m calling “how the fuck do a 20 and a 21 year old talk for the first time about the fact one of them is dying” good god i would not wish that level of awkwardness a character not knowing what to say on my writer enemies. I mean the fact there’s no right thing to say in that context is what drives it and brings the tension but it’s too much tension with little pay off it’s uncomfortable situation scene-ing too close to the sun. like how do you find the source of resolution in that just an overall awful scene to construct all around

[8hsaturn]

-- my astrology observations pt.1

Aquarius risings with Neptune on the ascendant can be extremely popular for their appearance amongst their peers, they’re also pretty influential and can be copied very often if Uranus is conjunct the ASC. They tend to have an immaculate fashion sense especially if paired with Taurus placements.

What separates Libra from Taurus is their way of expressing Venusian energy: Taurus, fixed earth, expresses it through a beautiful voice and coveted seduction, they’re down to earth and aware that they’re naturally attractive, acting chill and not being a try-hard is their trick. libra, cardinal air, on the other hand, isn’t scared to shake things up and keep people on their toes, they’d flirt to see how well their charm works and would change “tactics” to hook people in. they’re cardinal and so know how to spark someone’s interest but their air nature can make them pull away before they feel trapped. Taurus alternatively might prefer to simply sit because they know they attract people without moving a finger. Both can be very charming but also difficult to pin down especially as they grow older and more in tune with their Venusian nature.

As someone who always does readings for my friends, I noticed people with similar majors tend to have similar placements! law/political science majors tend to have a lot of Libra or just Libra on the angles and even 7th-house placements. IT/coding majors tend to have a lot of Scorpio/Virgo/Aquarius. actually, you can even guess why they chose the major from their chart.

My Capricorn friend chose software engineering because of the job prospects and because he enjoys working hard on a program and seeing it come to fruition which is very Saturnian.

8th house synastry is a complex matter but I believe the issue lies in people looking for that one overlay that guarantees a perfect relationship: there’s no such a thing. each overlay will have different results depending on both people’s charts and how they use or abuse their own placements. 5h synastry with your 5h stellium crush can seem incredible until you realize their Saturnian nature makes them see 5h energy as inherently immature and repress that nature, and have their ego drive them to see all fun they don’t initiate as cringey. 7h synastry can seem like a promise for marriage until you realize your person hates how they lose themselves in their relationships and distance away from you. In short, you can’t promise anything even with a synastry chart in front of you if you don’t know the trauma and experiences of both people. Makes sense, because astrology is truly just a tool to understand better, it doesn’t control or define anything.

8th house moon synastry can make the moon person very attuned to the other person’s feelings and want to know how their deepest emotions. Bad intentions can make the moon person use their knowledge to manipulate the house native though. it can be an aspect for understanding but if the house person has a Scorpio or Saturnian moon, or a natal 12h/4h/8h moon, or moon aspecting Saturn they might see this desire as annoying and could put them off, especially if they’re emotionally unavailable/stunted: they see the connection as making them too vulnerable and will escape it.

Sun conjunct Saturn… might make the sun person feel as if the Saturn person is repressing them, dulling their light, and just dampening their mood. In what exactly? that depends on the sun sign and house where the conjunction happens. e.g: if the sun conjuncts Saturn in Gemini in the 9h: sun person might feel that Saturn isn’t as enthusiastic or excited about the things that they’re passionate about or doesn’t understand their jokes or interests, shuts down convos or doesn’t let them talk. They might feel mocked for their beliefs or that the Saturn person doesn't take their philosophies and deeper concerns seriously.

I disagree with the notion that certain placements indicate intelligence or otherwise lack of. Intelligence is so complex and difficult to define, and I don’t mean eq vs iq or mathematical vs linguistic Intelligence, I mean that people’s experiences can push them to hone certain intellect over the other: having a libra stellium doesn’t mean all you got is street smarts, but that’s what you found yourself focusing on developing due to the cards you were dealt in life. I believe your chart will indicate which skills and intelligence you had to use, or need to use, be it something you have to learn from scratch or an instinctive talent, rather than natural skills.

that’s all, thank you for reading this far <3

[etherealkissed88]

Hey babe how are you?

I’m struggling there and would love an insight 🥁🥁🥁I can’t seem to fulfill myself lately.

I’m usually heavy on visualizing and inner convo and I feel so numb. My 2 big ongoing manifestations are SP and getting a job. I’ve been fulfilled before and got movement then had a major anxious episode and worked my way up to stability and neutral perspective of my 3D ✅

Now I want to fulfill myself and feel as good as I used to, feel like I’m on a cloud and constantly returning back to 4D because it feels soooo good BUT I just can’t ?? I know what I want and it doesn’t seem out of reach anymore thanks to my own study of the law I know how it works etc… but I just don’t feel anything anymore, and for whatever desire, I try to fulfill my inner self like she’s Cleopatra giving her everything food friends activities etc… but I’m just meh 🫤

Good thing I don’t go into old story negative story anymore but I mean come on A GIRL WANTS TO FEEL GOOD!!! Help me please 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

it seems like ur chasing the wrong “feeling”. youre searching for the excitement feeling (emotional) which is fine but the feeling you should be focused on is the knowing. remember feeling = knowing. you dont have to feel euphoria every time u fulfill urself bc it reaches a point where it starts to feel natural so you feel calm instead of excited. the important thing is that you know (feel) that you have what you imagined. think about it: when you first got your phone, you were so excited to get it every time u thought about it but now you dont feel that excitement bc you know its done. u feel calm (emotional feeling) bc you know feel fulfilled and know its urs.

so this isnt something to worry about bc u just are starting to see what u imagine as normal/natural which is why you feel calm instead of happy. but if you want to chase emotional feeling then just have fun imagining something new. what do you rly want? what do u rly want to experience? or maybe u can just have fun knowing it feels natural to feel like cleopatra (if that makes sense). and good job on knowing the 3d is neutral😈 im proud of you!!!!🎀

[feyrescourt]

This is a long and rambly discussion post for elriel nation btw so strap in

I want to preface this by kindly asking the elriel hive to not use any tags of #those ships if reblogged. I want to keep this in the elriel echo chamber. Please and thank u!

A huge part of fandom culture is to ship canonically compliant characters and crack ships. Everyone’s got them, and it’s totally normal, and it’s usually fun to engage with.

The majority of the time I have no issue with this (I am a wolfstar shipper and even though there is canonical evidence of them in the original HP books, they’re widely accepted online and balked at IRL usually due to homophobia and #that nasty, nasty woman’s bigotry), but over the last few years a certain group of crack shippers have taken it upon themselves to fly a little too close to the sun, and want to make it our (elriels) problem. I am talking about the Glees.

It’s late and this just popped into my head so I want to rant about it.

My friend who got me into ACOTAR gave me a breakdown of the ships (bc I read ToG first and went in blind. I became a doraelin shipper very early on and remained one halfway through QoS, it was a whole thing when I realized they were not end game lol), bc I asked her to after my ToG experience. She told me all the characters names and then told me about feysand and nessian endgames but didn’t mention az or elain’s situation. I asked her about it and she told me that she didn’t want to mention much about Az because “by the end of the series azriel has two options for how his story could go, elain or another way”. She shared some anti elain sentiment with me because she’s “boring and doesn’t do anything”. That went in one ear and out the other with me tbh.

When I started acowar, and feyre returned to the night court, I saw how elain and azriel were interacting and I concluded that mor was the second LI of az bc of acomaf. I was not apart of the fandom online at this point, so I was genuinely in the dark about everything around these two. I was just reading and talking to my friend about what I read. I also want to add that I still liked L*cien at this point in the series (it changed in acofas, I became apathetic towards him rather quickly when I finished reading that whiny ass convo with feyre…..I don’t play when it comes to her) but wasn’t sold on eluce because they had like one interaction and it wasn’t a great intro to a ship.

However this first meeting in acomaf….. :)

‘Can you truly fly?’ He set down his fork, blinking. I might have even called him self-conscious. He said, ‘Yes. Cassian and I hail from a race of faeries called Illyrians. We’re born hearing the song of the wind.’ ‘That’s very beautiful,’

“Rhys chuckled, Cassian’s wrath slipping enough that he grinned, and Elain, noticing Azriel’s ease as proof that things weren’t indeed about to go badly, offered one of her own as well.”

Well imagine my surprise when I finished acowar and it turns out mor (the person az has crushed on for 500 years) comes out to feyre before the book ends and she explains that she can never love az the way he loves her. After three books, and everything that happens in acowar it was clear to me that elain and azriel were being set up as each others love interests, despite the mating bond with l*cien.

After Acofas I was officially on the elriel train. I mean…

“Azriel strode to the lone window at the end of the room and peered into the garden below.”

“Azriel emerged from the sitting room, a glass of wine in hand and wings tucked back to reveal his fine, yet simple black jacket and pants. I felt, more than saw, my sister go still as he approached. Her throat bobbed.”

“But Azriel only took Elain’s heavy dish of potatoes from her hands, his voice soft as night as he said, ‘Sit. I’ll take care of it.’ Elain’s hands remained in midair, as if the ghost of the dish remained between them. With a blink, she lowered them, and noticed her apron. ‘I—I’ll be right back,’ she murmured, and hurried down the hall before I could explain that no one cared if she showed up to dinner covered in flour and that she should just sit.”

“Elain swept in, apron gone and hair rebraided. ‘Please don’t wait on my account,’ she said, taking the seat at the head of the table.”

“He [Azriel] was the portrait of relaxed, an arm braced against the carved mantel, his wings tucked in loosely, a faint grin on his face and a glass of wine in his hand. He slid his hazel eyes toward my sister without him moving an inch.”

“Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea.”

(Damn the more I read elriel’s acofas moments the more I can’t help but conclude that they just hate/don’t understand introverts 😭)

Before I started SF, I decided to look at the online fandom and bitch……my jaw hit the floor with all the elain/elriel hate I saw on TT. And everyone was talking about a newer character in SF, and I was seeing the glee fan art and was like oh shit ok maybe elriel isn’t endgame.

Fast forward to SF……

‘What happened to Elain?’

“Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike. Elain’s eyes brightened with pain.”

……and I’m thinking ok, az obviously likes her. Then comes az’s BC. When I finished the elriel portion of the BC I was actually crying bc I was like oh fuck I really love these two….I knew it was over for me, and I was freaked out bc I thought I was going to get got with this “new ship” involving az. Plus I was thinking about elain being left alone in the dark without any explanation and feeling like an idiot for finally showing her true feelings towards him😭. It was like 3AM when I read it so I was hyper emotional lol. But then I read the rest of the BC and was still confused because I didn’t see any romantic subtext with g/wyn. I read it and saw a hurt male who couldn’t stand what he had done to elain the night before, was pissed at his brother for stopping it and making him feel bad when he was finally willing to voice what he’s been feeling for the past year or so and hating that he was shut down because we know he never voices his emotions, and couldn’t bear keeping a gift he picked out specifically for her. A necklace…..for solstice……Then I finished SF as a whole, and still, was confused as to why glee is a ship. Nearly all of their conversations were centered around training, and Sarah didn’t use any descriptors in their encounters that elude to any romance or mutual interest. (Btw I have a whole take on rhys’ part in that BC and I think a lot of ppl are dense and don’t understand what he was going through in that book but I can save that for another time)

Cassian and Feyre have more chemistry than those too lol.

I then talked to my friend about the these ships (elriel, eluce, and glee) ((i didn’t talk about eluce much in this post but that’s a lifeless ship too. I mean…..she can’t stand that red head anyway soooo)), and I said “I’m an elriel through and through. Idc that eluce are claimed to be mates you can tell she does not like him. also glee makes no sense to me.” Not verbatim but you get the point. My friend is very sensible so by the end of our convo, she told me that she’ll accept whatever way Sarah goes and that she’ll give elain a chance when her book comes out.

But isn’t that what all of this shit is about in the end: unjustified dislike/distain/hate for elain? That’s certainly how is appears to me. You cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that you love elain if you ship her with a male whom she has expressed, on multiple occasions, zero interest in AND becomes a shell of herself when he’s around because she just doesn’t want to interact with him. (I want to reiterate that I don’t hate L, I don’t think he’s awful or anything. elain just doesn’t want to know him. And that’s her right.) The glees don’t like her bc she doesn’t fit their stereotype for what they want in an FMC and therefore, for azriel. Which is why they have been chirping that the next book will be azriel’s. Not elain’s….WHAT??? You sound fucking crazy. The eluces (even though they claim they like her) dislike her so much that they go on and on about how she needs to grovel and apologize to the male they like because HE deserves to be happy……the same male who she associates with one of the most traumatic days of her life. Who also has not apologized to her for the part he played in that day, but I digress.

I say all that to point out that Glee specifically is in the crack ship category. No canonical evidence in the text can be used to claim they are ‘mates’ or endgame or anything more than acquaintances. And that’s fine, but don’t act as though they’re to be taken seriously as a canon ship when there’s no evidence to support it. Don’t boldly claim that azriel “has two love interests” when he literally doesn’t. He can’t sleep because of elain. He can’t stop thinking about her. He’s short with his family and others around him the days and weeks following solstice. His shadows threaten to strike nesta when she hurts elain and causes her pain. He doesn’t assign his spies to watch L*cien in acofas because he doesn’t want to know if he’s trying to court elain. He goes full lethal when he hears she may have been hurt. He follows the sound of her laugh to see what caused it. He goes on a suicide mission to save her. They communicate through looks alone when their family is around. Have you read an SJM book before? This is how she sets up her relationships. Like, holy fuck.

You cannot claim elriel is a crack ship because they have had background build up that both FMCs in their respective books have noticed and commented on. Cassian has noticed it too DESPITE not being hyper aware of what’s going on with az in SF. (referencing the scene in SF where elain tells everyone at family dinner about nesta’s love for dancing and the ball story from when they were human).

This ship war shit is fucking crazy because really this should only be between elriel nation and the eluces. Anyway, I’m over dealing with the fever dream brigade and their hallucinations. They’re going to come crashing down like Icarus when the elriel bible release day arrives and all our suffering will finally come to an end.

Then after that I’ll need to defeat the tamlin redemption arch threats, bc that is not a claim, that’s a fuckin threat and I won’t stand for it. But let’s tackle one problem at a time.

Pink: side notes/thoughts that give more context to my points

Blue italics: convos I’ve had being referenced

Purple: elriel moments <3

[angelsstranger]

not to bitch and moan but today i (he/him tme transsexual dyke) remember my transmasc roommate of days past and the time he saw me wearing a skirt and said “if i dressed like that I would want to kill myself”

always sort of insinuating that a “real” trans person couldn’t be gender nonconforming..

and eventually of course devolving into the “trans women actually have more privilege than me somehow and i feel threatened by them” which turned into “in the future i dont want to live with AMABs again” yes that second one is a direct quote there was so much more to the convo it ended our friendship quite abruptly and messily.

but my point being transmascs using their own dysphoria and their bigotry they inherited from their family as a weapon against trans women is soo much more common than you think it is. this person was supposedly a leftist and was friends with/trying to date many trans women at the time. it unsettled me how he would imply he found these women untrustworthy at the time but also he approached specifically trans women again and again looking for their patience nurturing and support even asking them for money and favors. before again pivoting and returning to the i think shes a bit TOO into me and its creeping me out.

my takeaway was basically it is your responsibility to tell trans women if they are seeing or hanging out with someone who says terfy shit behind their back. protect your community to make sure nobody has to experience that type of violence (to be clear the violence im referring to here is: someone trans or cis who wants to date/sleep with trans women but continues to imply trans women are dangerous or untrustworthy, eventually discarding each woman they bring into their life for vague reasons which all stem back to transmisogyny)

i was so distracted by how every time i tried to discuss with HIM the harm he caused he would break down cryinf about how fragile he is and all the trauma in his life and i was hesitant to let my friends know the transphobic things he said about them because i thought it would hurt them a lot (ignorant on my behalf. once i finally told my friends i realized i should have warned EVERYONE the very first time i saw this behavior) i didn’t want to seem like i was shit talking him or being rude to the women he was seeing but by the end of our friendship that was one of my greatest regrets. I personally try to honor this mistake by fucking never letting something like this slide ever again and being a reliable friend to the trans women in my life by telling them honestly if i don’t trust someone i see them associating with. that type of passivity in our communities is something that also puts trans women at risk.

since coming back to tumblr ive seen a lot of transmascs harrasing trans women here and the sense of entitlement and the need to frame trans women as a threat to your individual comfort and safety is incredibly harmful and selfish. it reminds me of that shit i watched going down two years ago with my room mate and i really don’t like seeing terf ideology spread by other trans people. check yourself and imo leave trans women the fuck alone if you are still unlearning that shit. stop inviting trans women on dates and hangouts if behind their backs youre insinuating they are untrustworthy or violent in some way. that is so evil ok send post

[starfirexuchiha]

Unused Akechi Thieves Den conversations

There are some unused Thieves Den conversations that Akechi had with the other PTs, so I wanted to show them here. This is a long post btw.

Zorro - Yusuke & Akechi convo

Yusuke: ......

Akechi: You're looking at that Persona rather intently. Is he that intriguing?

Yusuke: Absolutely. It is an unparalleled luxury to lay sight on the physical manifestation of another's self-image. Not just any artist can claim to have borne witness to the likes of Personas, or Mementos. It would be foolish not to use this opportunity to incorporate these concepts into an art piece.

Akechi: I... see. Well, you have fun with that.

Yusuke: Ah, before you go. Would you be so kind as to show me your own Persona? I'd love to use him as a model for one of my sketches.

Akechi: ...I'm going to have to decline.

-----------

Goro doesn’t want to model for Yusuke lol

Robin Hood - Ann & Akechi convo

Ann: Seeing this reminds me of the days you still acted like a prince. Things have gotten pretty dark since then...

Akechi: Complain all you like, but this is who I am. I'm not going to change back.

Ann: I'm not complaining. It's better to know you're being honest and not hiding anything from us.

Akechi: Honest, huh.

-----------

I like how Ann is accepting of Goro’s true self.

Robin Hood - Sumire & Akechi convo

Sumire: This Persona is yours, Akechi-senpai? I'm surprised. It's very, um... noble.

Akechi: Ah, that's right. I suppose you've never seen this one.

Sumire: Never! Do you fight with it the same way? You know, "Muahahahaaa! You're all gonna die! Sayonara, suckers!"

Akechi: Heh. Are you mocking me?

-----------

Sumire’s friendship with Goro is so adorable!

Robin Hood - Ryuji, Ann & Akechi convo

Ryuji: It ain't fair that he gets to have two Personas. Aren't you kinda jealous?

Ann: Sometimes. Is it something you can train yourself to do?

Akechi: Personas are part of your personality, correct? Why don't you try acting like someone you're not?

Ryuji: Dammit, Akechi!

Akechi: Down, boy. Learn to take a jo—

Ryuji: You're a frickin' genius! Let's do it!

Ann: Good idea! I wonder what I should act like...

Akechi: Hah. And here I thought I'd seen the limits of your idiocy.

----------- 

Goro was like “Why don’t you try being a wildcard?”. It ain’t that easy though lol

Morgana Car - Akechi, Ryuji & Yusuke convo

Akechi: This car was a lot more comfortable than I expected. I can't say I mind it.

Ryuji: Dude, have you forgotten how bumpy that shit was in Mementos? I thought my ass was gonna split in half.

Yusuke: Agreed on the bumpiness. It was rather effective at abating my hunger, though.

Akechi: I don't usually ride in cars with such weak suspension. It was a new experience for me.

Ryuji: THAT'S what you call it!?

----------- 

You learn something new everyday.

Kamoshida Statue - Sae & Akechi convo

Sae: Honestly, when I heard there was a teacher like this at Makoto's school, my blood ran cold.

Akechi: If it was that much of a concern, why didn't you bring it up with the faculty?

Sae: It's not that simple.

Akechi: You should be more upfront about your feelings. Then again, I suppose you are who you are.

-----------

Did Kamoshida had some way of making the students’ parents/guardians not complain about him? Is that why Mishima was like “the parents know but don’t care”?

Kaneshiro (Ruler Form) - Makoto, Ryuji & Akechi convo

Makoto: Say, Kaneshiro mentioned that there was someone using other people's Palaces to do whatever they pleased...

Akechi: Yeah. I suppose that was me. I'm surprised a petty criminal like him had caught wind of me, though.

Ryuji: But Shido's the one who was takin' advantage, yeah? I thought you were just followin' orders.

Akechi: Hm... It's not quite that simple.

----------- 

What do you mean by that Goro? Do you have more freedom when you’re in palaces or something because the conspiracy is not aware of what goes on in there?

Shido (Ruler Form) - Akechi & Sae convo

Akechi: I never thought the scheme would end with Shido. I always assumed some other monster would take up his mantle.

Sae: Even so, I'd already decided that I wouldn't give up on exposing the guilty parties. ...I want to keep my faith in justice.

Akechi: Oh? Something so cliché coming from you is rather surprising, Sae-san. I suspect the Phantom Thieves have rubbed off on you quite a bit.

Sae: That's a possibility. Maybe you could do with some change yourself? Like, drop the "cool customer" act and just live in the moment?

Akechi: Hah! Surely you jest. I'll pass.

----------- 

Oh Goro is putting up his Detective Prince act on this one.

Interrogation Room - Akechi & Morgana convo

Akechi: How nostalgic... It makes me sick to remember that day. I can't believe I was so thoroughly tricked.

Morgana: It was quite a gamble on our end. But ultimately, our justice saw the light.

Akechi: Justice, huh... Sure, let's leave it at that.

----------- 

Sounds like Goro doesn’t believe Morgana there.

Penguin Sniper - Ryuji & Akechi convo

Ryuji: Pool's pretty fun once ya get used to it. Aight Akechi, let's go a round! It's time for the Ultra Mega Poolin' Schoolin'!

Akechi: Ignoring that ludicrous title... Do you honestly wish to play against me?

Ryuji: I'm a man of my word! I know I got no chance when it comes to brainy stuff, but this? I can take ya. Or what, are you chicken?

Akechi: Heh, of course not. Sure, I'll play a round. And I won't be holding back.

----------- 

I think Goro is gonna use his right hand, but Ryuji you should still prepare yourself. 👀

Loki - Yusuke & Makoto convo

(Akechi is not in this unused convo but the convo is about him)

Yusuke: To think we would fight side-by-side with Akechi once more... His personality seems to have shifted, though. It's a far cry from the Detective Prince we once knew.

Makoto: That is true... But somehow, I think it made him easier to talk to. He's honest with us, at least. I don't worry about him hiding things anymore.

Yusuke: Yes... His murderous screeching may be unsettling, but I've come to realize that is simply a part of who he is. Perhaps it would be worthwhile to paint a portrait of him, knowing this...

Makoto: If you do, I'd love to see it. ...I'd like to hear what he thinks of it, too.

----------- 

Murderous screeching LOL! Again Yusuke, Goro will not model for you 😆

-----------

and that’s all of the unused Goro convos in the Thieves Den.

[thelavendernarwhal]

I received an ask that a person wanted answered anonymously, so:

But I really, truly cannot stop thinking about this one scene in Legacy. It’s around page 351.

“You mean having Dizznee pull some money from your birth fund and then hitting up a shop for a couple of minutes?” Keefe asked. “Yeah, Dex told me all about how not exhausting that was last night, when he checked in to tell me how things went for you two in London, while someone was off doing something with Mr. Forkle…”

So what I’m hearing is sleepy Dex on call with Keefe? Dex telling Keefe that he’s tired? A cute little nightly convo?

Side note, why was Dex tired? Does his ability make him tired? I need more elaboration, Shannon.

This scene is hella interesting to me since you look at it and it immediately seems like a Sokeefe scene, but in the middle, it has this seemingly random shift into talking about a completely different character dynamic. The context this snippet falls into is Keefe trying to cheer up Sophie after she had an argument with Mr Forkle. It all makes sense within of their relationship and dynamic, but this bit of dialogue is communicating something pretty different. It’s pointing out that Keefe and Dex have a close friendship that Sophie isn’t super aware of and that Sophie doesn’t spend a lot of time with/pay attention to Dex. 

Both of these things can be chalked up to the fact the story is from Sophie’s perceptive. The big plot details have to happen or be explained to her or else they won’t make it to the reader. That doesn’t leave a lot of page time for banter, especially for a character like Dex who’s narrative role can mostly be done off stage. Of course, Dex’s character can be used for a lot more than ‘cool gadget guy’ (ie class divides, matchmaking/queer allegories, parallels to many other characters, etc), but that’s a whole different can of worms. Having moments like this that show things happening outside of Sophie helps establish a larger, more lively world. It shows that Sophie isn’t the center of the universe. 

But these little moments can be established with many different characters. There are so many background dynamics and friendships that can be leveraged for this purpose which makes it interesting that specifically Keefe and Dex are highlighted. In fact, these two are highlighted in this way fairly often. Back in book 3, the two of them hit it off quickly and spend more time together outside of a group setting which then translates into many Keefex moments (including getting their team/ship name). Late night calls are probably pretty common. 

But what really gets me about all of this is the casualness and I think it's because few other relationships in this series have that. Even characters that are established to be best friends have a good amount of tension between them (ie Fitz and Keefe, Sophie and Dex, Stina and Marella), but Keefe and Dex don’t have that. There’s a sense of stability and trust. They hang out and talk to each other without a practical reason to do so. Dex feels okay complaining to Keefe about projects and, presumably, feelings of isolation. Especially seen in Unlocked, Keefe trusts Dex to help him and hear some of the ugly things he doesn’t want to say to Sophie. There's definitely a lot of room for cute late night conversation on call, but also for a chill relationship in a sea of high-tension dynamics. 

The length of this thing kind of got away from me but that's my take :) 

(Also, I'm exploring a lot more of the mechanics of technopathy in my own writing, so I think that it's possible that Dex’s experience is something very similar to Keefe’s as the Forbidden Cities has more integrated technology that seemingly ‘speaks’ to Dex. That could be very overwhelming for him, hence why he's tired.)

[gently-decaying-flowers]

i love my brother

but i feel like he’s a little black and white when it comes to gender identity- which is bizarre as he’s a trans guy

i’ve changed pronouns/gender identity/sexuality a lot because idk i’m younger and trying to figure out who i am and what feels right- and he calls me the most “inconsistent person he knows”

which kinda sucks

he told me he talked to my mom apparently about how i’d benefit from just calling myself genderfluid and i have two problems with that

1) i’m not out to my mom. i love my mom and she’s so supportive but i don’t want to come out until im sure because i don’t wanna change it up on her all the time. looks like he did that for me tho

2) genderfluid doesn’t feel right to me- at least right now. it’s not my label. i’m nonbinary/genderqueer atm and i don’t wanna change because of how he thinks i should identify

there’s also the added layer that he and his girlfriend are t4t- his partner was nonbinary for a long time and now they use they/she pronouns and identify as a fem nonbinary- WHICH IS SO COOL

but that means both of their gender experiences were a bit more binary- both leaning heavily away from their agab. i think because i still like feminine things (this convo arose last night because i showed him the swimsuit i was gonna get) and im not the more common “nonbinary androgynous” presenting person- or because i don’t lean fully away from more “feminine” things- he doesn’t really understand?

i think in his mind enby is either dressing masc if you’re afab or fem if you’re amab- or the like short hair, baggy clothes, genderless being aesthetic shown in media when it comes to enby people

and all the power to them! they’re valid and amazing as who they are, but when that becomes The Look for nonbinary people it can affect peoples acceptance of enbies who aren’t like that or can’t afford to be because of money, their home life, etc.

all this is sorta to say that you don’t have to listen to what the older queer people around you think you “should be” or what it “sounds like you are” even people who’ve been in the queer community longer have had different experiences than you- and shouldn’t dictate your interpretation of your own identity

also don’t feel bad about being inconsistent!! ever!!! i like telling myself:

maybe it is a phase but it’s not just a phase. it’s the phase i’m in and i deserve to explore it and have it be respected and feel valid, even if it changes

[thatgirl4815]

Incoming essay - apologies!

Rewatching the pool scene and two things struck me: Sand's really not a natural at this whole sneaky, aloof thing - his face while he's watching Ray listen to the recording actually looks quite serious and almost like he's already having doubts, but the second Ray looks back up at him he assumes a fake, couldn't care less expression, which solidifies my opinion that his behaviour here is out of character for him (I don't mean the writing is out of character, but that he's acting in a way that goes against who he really is). Boston's mindfuckery and Nick's...privacy issues come fairly easily to them, and even Mew pulled off a very cold-blooded gotcha that entirely relied on him convincing Top everything was okay, but Sand couldn't even manage that one convo with Ray without it being totally obvious he was pissed and petty and had an agenda. I think swinging a baseball bat probably comes way more naturally to him than subterfuge and manipulation.

The other thing is Sand's expression after Ray asks if he's not okay about him liking Mew - he's sort of speechless for a second, has to take a breath, and it occurred to me that this is the first time he's actually hearing Ray confirm that it's true. Previously it was all just coming from Boston, who Ray said he shouldn't listen to anyway, but here is Ray himself admitting it, saying it out loud, and quite casually at that. Ouch!

(Something else I've been pondering is if Sand isn't (perhaps unconsciously) a little pissed at Nick and that's why he can screw him over so easily - after all, it was Nick who brought Boston into their home, and Nick who, even after witnessing all the damage Boston did - and not to random strangers, but to Sand - still sticks with him, acting all lovey dovey and taking cute couple pics... Not passing judgement one way or another, but it wouldn't surprise me if Sand's a little bit bitter about that as well!)

Ooh yes, I agree with all of this 100%! I like how you can see Sand almost reckoning with himself as he does it. I can see him thinking “Well, if Ray likes someone else and has just been using me, why can’t I play the same game?” Also interesting your point about how Sand likely defaults to direct action as opposed to subtle schemes and manipulation; it would certainly align with how straightforward Sand is about everything (I’m thinking of a lot of scenes but especially that last one where he chases after Ray—he’s undoubtedly still angry, but he cares more about keeping Ray safe than letting Ray see that he’s hurt…that might be part of the reason why the crew decided to use the take where he looks shocked as opposed to heartbroken just before Ray drives off.)

Your analysis also confirms that Sand certainly does care about Ray in the pool scene, even if he’s trying to ignore it in pursuit of his own revenge on Top. Ray’s direct confirmation that he does, in fact, like Mew is just more cause for Sand to be bitter. I can imagine just how broken up Sand has been since the night Boston ruined everything, thinking and rethinking his relationship with Ray.

Sand is making a very pointed effort to make Ray feel his apathy. Beyond Sand simply being hurt and dejected, he wants Ray to feel bad—I just don’t think he ever meant for his schemes to initiate the blow up Ray has at the end.

Lastly, about Nick, I’d be surprised if Sand wasn’t bitter! Nick even tells Boston that he was an asshole and he still acts all lovey dovey with him? Nick comes across as very immature to me and very much a pushover. Hopefully we’ll see Sand address his own anger over this in this trailer clip:

Anywaysss, rant over. Thanks for sharing these observations! You all always make my viewing experience 100x more enjoyable :)

[deanisridingapolarbear-blog]

You’re not only getting one ramble but two! Because seems I have things to say. We start with the dinner scene from this week because it’s been on my mind and my irl friends don’t care about my weewoo show. 

Was Tommy dismissive about Buck’s feelings? Imo no, actually to me it seems like he already reads Buck quite well, and here’s why.

So first Tommy clearly tries to lighten the mood with the ”your own wing at the hospital” line but notices that Buck wasn’t there yet, his mind is elsewhere. And that’s when Tommy asks if Buck himself is ok and that drags Buck into the space properly. He stops arranging things and focuses and to me seems like he relaxes. He sees that Tommy cares about him, wants to know how he is and allows him to share what’s bothering him. 

Then Tommy’s reaction to Buck’s father? Tommy is a bit confused about Buck’s father comment probably because maybe they haven’t talked about the dysfunctional sides of their families yet and he’s only met Buckley parents once at the wedding. And probably when talking with them at the wedding they seemed nice and polite enough, possibly slightly stressed with everything that was going on and surprised to see their son’s new partner that they’d never heard about. Nothing in anyone’s behaviour then probably gave away that there are issues. Then when picking up the note that Buck has some issues with his parents Tommy shared his own side, not to pin point how good Buck has it, but to show that he can relate and there’s something common for them. Which might be very important considering that at first it’s shown as if Tommy and Buck have no shared interests or past experiences. It’s telling Buck ”Look we might not share every interest but there’s solid grounds for us to understand each other very well”.

I think Tommy showing Buck that he can open up if he needs to helped Buck then steer the convo to something he did need in that point. To move past worrying about Bobby or Eddie+Chris and focus on him/them. And Tommy continues to accommodate that too, Buck makes a joke and Tommy levels to it. To me Tommy seems a bit hesitant/shy when waiting for Buck’s reaction like making sure he made a right call this time. I’ll get back to Tommy being guarded/shy in the next ramble. 

To me this whole scene shows that they are still very much getting to know each other both in many levels whether it’s the past experiences or how they like their banter/flirt. Which might make it cringy at times because they are still learning and there will be wrong calls.

[smaeemo]

Honestly? I really use tumblr for a couple reasons

1. Fandom spaces (mainly spn, and 911)

2. Indulging my interests

3. Sharing my hot takes/perspectives

4. Brain rot

5. The rest of social media is pretty toxic

And what I will say, is that the whenever I make a post regarding a criticism that I am making, it’s less of an attack (even though it may seem like it) and more of an analysis or retrospective discussion. Like truly, if there is someone that disagrees with me, I want to know why.

The honor and the privilege that I have is to educate myself/have conversations about different perspectives. Like if I make a post about how much I hate the color blue, I genuinely want to know why some people do.

It’s not baiting, moreas I want to share my opinions/perspectives to both my followers and to potential followers. Along with wanting to see what the response is, building an opportunity for constructive/informational conversations.

And im not gonna sit here and pretend im perfect. I suck at communicating sometimes and honestly? I’ve been a part of some pretty cringe fandoms (I was the cringe part) but I am actively trying to do what I wish other people will/would do regarding fandom conversations. Fandoms and fan community is such a unique thing that constantly is changing and has also stayed the same. For many it can be the literaly epicenter of their personality or life, therefore criticism or difference in opinions can be really upsetting. Like once I literally had an entire arguement about it with my friend, and it was super embarrassing but it was also something that made sense to me.

So yeah, anyways I kinda lost sight of what this rant was about, but like. If you see something I post that you don’t agree with, lets have a convo, you’re entitled to your opinion as much as I am. I just speak from my own experiences, and experiences change and so do people.

Anyways — As always, send q’s and fun things, reblog with your controversial takes, and send fic recs.

XOXO,

Leenya

[itsjaywalkers]

Hello!hope ur having a good day :) <33

I was wondering if u wanted to share some trans reg hc, could be overall or like the boxing au one, or anything rly.

Like who was the first person he came out to, how/when did he realise, how does he deal with dysphoria- what gives him dysphoria/euphoria, and maybe how would it translate into like relationship and sexlife, would he be able to go ahead without any/much dysphoria, or would he have to have sex a ‘specific way(?? Idk??)’ to make it work?

A lot of question I know, and u don’t have to answer if it makes u uncomfortable or anything, I just wanted to hear more about your headcanons about this.

//a trans guy who is obsessed with trans reg, and ur writing

hi darling!! i have today off so i am . in fact . having a great day <3 i hope yours is treating u kindly too!!

and ofc i want to!! i'm gonna do it boxer au based, since reg's trans experience isn't the same in every story!! and don't worry, i'm happy to answer ur questions!! it doesn't make me uncomfy in the slightest, trans reg is very special to me too for many reasons and i loveeee talking about him <3

the first person he came out to was sirius!! this is my Truth almost always no matter the fic. it changes sometimes, if he takes longer to realise and he and sirius have a complicated relationship but !! in the boxer au they get along great and they're very close, so reg told sirius first!!

sirius already had his suspicions tho, and they had a lot of long deep convos about gender. he helped reg figure himself out and supported him every step of the way

in the boxer au, he realised quite young!! he was never completely comfortable in his own body, but since he was a very awkward and . odd . kid everyone attributed it to reg just not being 'normal' in general. when puberty hit it got worse tho, and even tho everyone told him it'd pass and that puberty wasn't supposed to feel good or fun, reg knew there was something else

sirius also noticed there was something going on with his brother, so he tried to help him in every way he could. he lent him his clothes whenever reg asked (even tho it was always kind of begrudgingly), convinced their parents to allow him to wear his hair short, bought him oversized clothes and called him by his nickname and never his actual name

but i think the moment it actually hit reg was when he got mistaken by a boy one time he got out of school and went to his father's office to wait for him. the receptionist assumed he was sirius, and it finally clicked for him

he didn't tell sirius immediately tho. he researched a lot first, almost obsessively, and he doubted himself all of the time, having these moments in which . he was afraid he was actually somehow making it all up in his mind

reg was very scared of change, and this was a very big One. he knew sirius would support him no matter what, but there's always fear yk?? and there was also the matter of his parents. he was absolutely terrified

but he ended up blurting it out one night he and sirius stayed up late in secret. sirius talked to him about this one boy he was crushing into, and came out to him. and reg came out to him in return!! there were a lot of hugs and a lot of tears (they pretended this never happened the next morning)

sirius was a man on a mission after this. he helped him browse names and started using the correct pronouns, always getting so incredibly upset when he slipped at the beginning. reg found it very endearing, and assured him it was fine bc it was understandably gonna take them both some time

reg didn't have many close friends back then, so he didn't really come out to anyone in school, and he graduated with only sirius knowing the truth

those years were hard ngl, and reg struggled A Lot, but having sirius on his side made the whole thing . slightly more bearable . sometimes not even that was enough but reg appreciated it immensely

how he deals with dysphoria has changed over time!! he relied a lot on the internet when he was younger, and on his brother too, but there was only so much sirius could do apart from offering a willing ear and being comforting, considering he couldn't really understand what reg was going through. it absolutely broke sirius' heart, to see him have breakdown after breakdown, losing his appetite or refusing to leave his room for days

back then reg experienced dysphoria constantly. he wasn't comfortable in his own body and he had a hard time looking at himself in the mirror, or even listening to himself talk

some days he could kind of deal with it, remain functional despite it all. he did his best to keep himself distracted so he wouldn't think too much about the whole thing

but other days getting up from bed was Hard

now tho !! it doesn't happen That often, he's the man he was always meant to be !! he's on T and got top surgery and legally changed his name and gender so he's kind of thriving

he still has his moments tho bc this is something he's gonna have to deal with for the rest of his life so when it happens he goes to the twins!! they're both trans in this story so they Understand what he's going through and they support each other Always

they exchange advice and comfort each other when it gets especially Hard and . idk it's all very lovely, they're each other's ppl yk??

again, back then a lot of stuff gave him dysphoria, but nowadays it's more specific?? little things that usually don't upset him that badly but that sometimes pile up and end up giving him actually bad dysphoria??

like . he's a well-known sports journalist, he isn't really a celebrity or anything but ppl do talk about him sometimes, especially bc of sirius (and then bc of james) and they tend to mention his looks or how similar or different he looks to his brother

and sometimes they use more . feminine adjectives or straight up say he's kinda feminine or even comment on him being trans since it's public knowledge and reg has spoken on it more than once and . it's stuff that doesn't affect him that badly but it still annoys him

it's the same when ppl highlight how passing he looks, how u can't even tell he's trans, etc

there's also the ppl that are purposefully transphobic or misgender him which . does actually make him quite dysphoric, even tho he's mostly very comfortable with his identity + his looks now

he also has a bit of a complicated relationship with . stuff that it's considered 'feminine'

like clothes don't have any gender, same with makeup, and reg wouldn't mind wearing a skirt even tho it's not his style and he does wear some makeup semi-regularly for tv interviews etc etc but . sometimes he feels slightly uncomfy on it, like he gets bad memories or becomes paranoid about how he looks in it, if the clothes make his body seem too . curvy .

as i've said, he's very confident nowadays but he still has his moments!!

when it comes to gender euphoria, it's all about the little things!! people calling him handsome, seeing how hairy his body is now, the fact that he can take his shirt off now when he goes to the beach etc

when it comes to relationships and his sex life he has reached a point in which he can usually go ahead without getting dysphoria but . it depends on his partner really

some ppl can be transphobic without meaning to or simply bc of a lack of knowledge which is fine by him u know he totally gets it, it's a matter of being willing to learn and to listen to him

like . he's used to guys assuming he only bottoms or not even ask if he's comfortable using his front hole u know

or using afab terms to refer to his genitals without making sure first reg is okay with that

which brings me to my next point !! in oby, reg himself uses afab terms and he's fine with james using them too, they've had a convo about it and everything

but it's different for reg in the boxer au!! he does use afab terms for himself, he doesn't mind at this point and it doesn't give him any dysphoria however . when it comes to his sexual partners . he prefers them using words like a cock or hole or more neutral names . it gives him gender euphoria!! and the other stuff makes him kinda uncomfy. it's fine when he's the one saying it or thinking it but hearing it out loud coming from . other people, especially people who are just there bc they're attracted to him and want to fuck him is . Not Great

he also isn't always fine with using his front hole during sex, it depends on his mood and how much he trusts the person he's gonna be sleeping with. besides, he quite likes anal too so !!

this whole thing is another reason why . reg doesn't want to sleep with james bc he feels like he's gonna be a bit of an asshole about it or be another guy who doesn't even bother asking about his preferences or what he's comfy with

which isn't the case at all!! james has been with trans ppl before, and even if he hadn't, he's very considerate with his partners!! and as he should tbh. him being arrogant or knowing he's great in bed doesn't mean he's selfish

[writerswhy]

When I have too much on my mind I start making lists to help me sort it all out. It also serves as a reminder as I have the attention span of a goldfish and the patience of a squirrel: 

Kaname. I think he’s a very important character, especially once you start thinking about the Seireitei, captainhood, and the nature of justice. (I’m rereading Frankenstein and I can’t stop thinking about him. Like, he’s the Seireitei’s monster, and he’s his sword’s [and Kakyō‘s soul] Frankenstein. Also Les Misérables.)

Anon asks! I’m so sorry, I will try to get to them as soon as possible.

There’s an entire section in the Poetics of Space dedicated to poems about forests and I’m thinking of Hinamori here, always: 

“Silently the birds Fly through us. O, I, who long to grow,  I look outside myself, and the tree inside me grows.  This is a tree always destined for grandeur, and, in fact, it propagates this destiny by magnifying everything that surrounds it.”

The nature of zanpaktou and its relationship with the soul, inspired by Jeff Wall’s “Photography and Liquid Intellegence”: 

“I think this is because the mechanical character of the action of opening and closing the shutter—the substratum of instantaneity which persists in all photography—is the concrete opposite kind of movement from, for example, the flow of a liquid.” 

Mmm, maybe it fits kidou more, now that I’m thinking about it.

Soul Society headcanons on time and existing and death and dying. I don’t think it’s canon and this may go against the overall theme, but I like this idea of failing to accommodate for death/spaces left by loss and what that looks like. From shoving ghosts who will reincarnate in a day with those who take decades to do so, to grieving the “wrong” way (like Orihime who thought she was mourning her brother the “right” way - by moving on - only to have that result in her brother’s hollowfication).

Vaguely related, but this GIF set of one of my favorite ships from Until Dawn sparked a little Hitsuhina interest. Like, maybe it’s best to not know everything and experience everything with a person, no matter how much you love them. I’m sure Hinamori would rather enjoy a nice meal with Hitsugaya than fight alongside him or I don’t know, train with the purpose of becoming a captain as well (which I think Hinamori would very much not like or enjoy. That’s not where her ambition lies imo).

Bleach’s orbital laser - the hogyoku! I’m really excited about this one :)

I want to rewrite this post. Maybe break it up into parts.

Aizen and Hinamori. I have a lot of thoughts on these two and they’re the reason my interest in Bleach never truly went away. I already stated that Hinamori saw in Aizen what she was looking for outside Seireitei’s framework as the wonder started fading not just as a captain but as a man, and given she quotes him from time to time post-TYBW (quotes that openly question the order of things), I think Hinamori had an inkling of Aizen’s opinion on SS.

In @sillier-things’s Becoming (one of favorite fics of all time <33), Hinamori says his title rather than his name when they’re together and I love it <33 Love the desecration of his title in the captain quarters.

Also, I don’t know why this stuck with me but it briefly came up during a convo with @graphesthesia (hey friend~) that Aizen never creates his own kidou like Hinamori. I know it’s most likely because he doesn’t need to, but I like to think it’s indicative of his modus operandi to dominate (kinda like the Seireitei). In my very delusional opinion, I see Hinamori as thesis and Aizen as antithesis. In this essay I will - 🧍‍♀️💥🚗

[kirlianradio]

I’m all for transmascs and men being fem but god it drives me crazy when they join in the convo talkin abt how there’s NO issues towards trans masculinity or just masculinity in queer spaces in general.

Your experiences with bigotry are often rooted in how society views you, if the only time masculinity is perceived is mentioning your identity, of course you’re not gonna experience ppl hating your masculinity as often (not that you *don’t* experience it, just that it’s not gonna be the same as a passing transman/mascs blah blah blah)

Like it’s not even just transmen/masc who experience slights against masculinity either. While I definitely have more experience with the transman side based on my own identity there’s definitely others.

it’s ppl saying butch women are ugly disgusting men and a stain on lesbianism “embracing womanhood”, it’s passing transmen getting ostracized from our own community becuz we’re treated like a threat, it’s people being bioessentialist towards transwomen becuz being born a man means you’re “inherently evil”, its pppl who only ever talk abt transmen being masc when they do something they don’t like, it’s nonbinary becoming “womanlite” becuz fem gender nonconformity good and masc gender nonconformity bad!, its ppl who demonize testosterone, bottom surgery, and bottom growth for anyone who gets it, its ppl being abhorrent to cis gay men cuz “they’ll always inherently be just as bad, they don’t understand the true queer experience!”, its ppl using neutral pronouns on binary transmen cuz nonbinary is more “acceptable” than a man, on and on and on and on

Just overall while it’s understandable that the queer community has a complicated relationship with masculinity due to the systematic oppression from the hands of cishet men. Demonizing all masculinity and downplaying masculinity as inherently never having issues DOES end up eliminating the nuance of queer masculinity being a much more complex experience.

Ppl want to boil this down to always solely terf ideology but then it allows the queer community to make an “us vs them” standard and never question their own actions or biases. Anyone who doesn’t use the terf label on their account can spew terf bioessentialism ideology and the queer community eats it up without even noticing. Just fully throwing other queers under the bus.

( And no, before anyone tries it, I’m not saying femininity has no issues. Femininity is something that always systematically gets mistreated in every community based on societal standards. This isn’t me saying masculinity has it worse. I acknowledge there’s also some privileges that do come from masculinity. This is SOLELY me saying that we can acknowledge BOTH experiences issues without ignoring the other. I talk abt queer masculinity because that is *MY* experience so I feel more equipped to talk abt it, that doesn’t mean I don’t care abt the other)

[selfshipprompts]

any tips for easy/super low budget ways to feel closer to an f/o (that aren’ picrews/art/fanfic)? I remember I saw a “marry a fictional character” website a while ago that got shut down long before I could use it. I have a good few f/o’s but I want to feel closer to ‘em and don’t really know of any methods :(

Glad to see you’re back! and it’s ok if you don’t have any answers

i know its not a helpful answer, but i genuinely believe that theres no wrong way to feel closer to your f/o(s) , so you should do whatever you feel is right! ..especially since everyone is different and has their own ideas on what feels right, and what works! so..

i can only give my own personal experiences, but im sure others can give their methods too! ->

something pretty specific i do is take a plush of my f/o with me when i go out, and take photos so i can put them in my scrapbook! its fun picking up pamphlets and keeping tickets n whatnot when travelling to document our adventures together. in my brain, its like.. its nice to have something between us that isnt online, yknow? even just travelling together and taking photos is really fun ^^ doesnt have to be a plush tho, could be any merch or even a printout or something :b

wearing stuff that reminds u of ur f/o is another one i like !! i like to buy rings, necklaces, earrings, etc. that remind me of my f/o so i can wear it and have a piece of them with me! could work for articles of clothing too, or you could make your own stuff! like ive made kandi bracelets with my f/os name and related words on haha but it doesnt have to be directly related to your f/o as long as it reminds you of them!

another thing i like to do is play games as my f/o? like.. if it has a character creator then i can try and make them ofc, otherwise just the case of "what decisions would my f/o make" or imagine it as an AU where we're in this other world having an adventure together.. AUs in general are just super fun imo, even if its just a "what if" or roleswap, finding ways to be together in different situations can make you think about how you work together n stuff!

im kinda just listing off stuff i do. i like collecting screenshots of my f/o in their source and making colleges, or drawing over them with lots of cute stickers and hearts using photo editting apps :] teaching yourself new skills for them is fun too? im slowly getting more into website building so i can make a neocities shrine for my f/o LOL

anyway! if anyone has their own methods of feeling close to your beloveds, be sure to reply or reblog! or send an ask, its always nice to keep the convo going! take care xx

[themagnusbane]

I swear, in all these Only Friends discourse that has been raging since the finale dropped on Saturday, I wonder if anyone actually took a second to be like: this story is being told through the eyes of 20-21 year old college students. They are the mouthpiece through which this story is being narrated. Is it possible therefore that their age, their lack of experience, their slightly sheltered lives, might play a role in how they navigate their friendships, the world at large and how they react?

Like @jojotichakorn has started several times, and I agree a 100%; this story isn’t a morality lesson. Nobody is saying casual sex bad. You are evil if you’re non-monogamous. Blah blah blah. As a graysexual polyam person who just uses the term queer cuz it’s easier than me having a 30 mins convo with a stranger about my orientation and how everything intersects for me, this show was everything. Cuz PEOPLE ARE MESSY! People are messy and judgemental and annoying. Just because they’re queer doesn’t mean they WON’T be messy. I was especially a fucking shithead at 21. Hell, I was a virgin until I turned 22 (not quite as sanctimonious as Mew, thank SPIRIT!!). Who I am now at 33 is vastly different from who I was over a decade ago. I moved out at 22. Been living on my own for that time. The person I am today is a product of all I have seen and experienced. I lost the black and white lens through which I viewed the world, in that period of time.

And you know what? I do feel that these kids (cuz they are kids to me. I haven’t sat in a university class in almost 13 years 🤷🏾‍♀️), will grow, and learn and evolve. Boston I think will do fantastically well in New York. He will continue to come into his own. Will figure out what kind of relationships work best for him (both in regards to his friendships and his sexual and romantic—if he wants any—relationships), and he will thrive.

Mew will eventually get that stick out of his arse and get off his high horse. He will realize that people are messy, imperfect, and make mistakes, and that he too is flawed. And that is okay. That he doesn’t need to be burdened to replicate the perfect home life he had with his mothers. That hell, just because he fancies himself better than others, doesn’t mean that he isn’t as capable of the depraved things the human mind can conjure up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Ray will probably battle with his addiction all his life. Will realize that battling addiction is a life-long process. Will lean on the support he has. Will probably learn to forgive his mum, and come to terms with her frailty as a human being, and what that meant with regards her suicide. He will also probably let himself admit that as much as he loved her, and wanted her to hold him and love him, he is justifiably angry at her that she did neither of those things, and then left him. He will probably confront his dad about the role he played, and didn’t play in all of this. He might decide to break up with Sand later. And they will still be good friends. Or Sand might be that ex he hasn’t spoken to in years, yet he still thinks of and smiles when he hears I Wanna Be Yours.

Same goes for Sand, and Top and Nick as well.

And who knows, at some point Cheum might realize that she can be quite the shitty friend. That she’s been a shitty friend. She might reach out to her now former friends, and honestly sincerely apologize. Or not. That’s another thing. Some people take forever to grow. And some don’t learn a lick from their experiences. And when time has passed and they looked back at all their burned bridges and try to reconnect, they are left with hands fluttering in the wind, and everyone they love out of reach 🤷🏾‍♀️.

But yeah. I don’t know about y’all. Maybe you were well adjusted uni students who were always right and knew the right words to say, and didn’t fuck up every other Saturday, and whose lives were peachy. But I was a dumbass, making dumbass choices, being a sanctimonious dumbass, and being an absolute menace. And that was how I watched the show. Knowing that this is a story of these kids, told to us by THESE kids. P’Jojo was just the conduit for their story. But it is ultimately THEIRS. I just watched it for them. Not for any moral lessons (this isn’t a parable or a fable. And I say this as someone who has been fascinated by mythology since I was 7), but to be entertained by the lives of these messy kids, crash-figuring their way to adulthood, and thanking the universe that my early 20s are way behind me, cuz fucking hell. That era of my life was some shit-show!