#like i feel so unmotivated and exhausted these days. feels like all i can manage is the bare minimum

[tkbrokkoli]

gotta get back to work tmorrow 😔

[mattypattypinky]

Anxiety Self-Care Motivation / Health Anxiety Headcannons

(romantic)

Anxiety would worry about you quite a lot, especially if you had trouble keeping up with your health.

She understands that bodies are a lot of work and hard to manage, and a lot of things can feel like chores... Staying hydrated, taking showers, brushing your teeth... Making sure you get all creases and crevices clean, making sure you eat three square meals a day, and get enough nutrients and stuff... She understands there is so much to do, and it can be overwhelming, and stressful.

And, I feel like she'd worry about you a LOT...

If anything was wrong with your health, she'd overthink for you. Which, can be a blessing or a curse, depending on the situation and severity.

The good news is, she might know what's wrong if you tell her the symptoms!

The bad news is, she might not, and pull some random diagnosis from the internet and panic over you possibly having a deadly disease...

If you told her you had trouble staying motivated to do everyday simple self-care tasks, she would want to help you with them. Maybe they would motivate her to do her own, as well. To show an example for you.

In attempt to motivate you to shower, she might take one herself.

In order to motivate you to eat and drink, she'd offer to eat and drink with you.

She would get you one of those drink bottles... You know the ones, a motivational hydrator bottle.

And if you were too exhausted or unmotivated to brush your teeth, she'd offer to do hers with you, or even brush yours for you! . . She'd apologize for how weird that sounds...

She'd offer to cook for you, if you were hungry, and too unmotivated to make something yourself, and she would be understanding, and not call you lazy for any executive dysfunction you battle with.

She would understand. She would be patient with you, and she would believe any attempt to do something healthy is more than just doing nothing.

Eating half your meal is better than eating none of it.

Drinking half your water is better than drinking none of it.

Showering once is better than never showering.

Etc...

She would be very, very proud of you.

[shibaincubus]

How to use time efficiently with many interests and work commitments.

⋅•⋅⊰⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⊰⋅•

Being productive, making the most of the 24 hours of our day and getting a high ROI back is your goal, but your daily schedule and the endless appointments that you have make you too tired to get work done, let you feel like you have no free time, no time to even study, and you have to spend countless all nighters to get your work done questioning yourself why you chose so many activities/ extracurricular's etc. in the first place and all the free time you have your essentially doomscrolying it away making you more unmotivated.

This is a guide on how you can use your time efficiently and get a huge ROI back without feeling exhausted/tired and finding enough time to study thoroughly, getting your work done without loosing your passion for other things and doing your hobbies.

So the first thing you have to do is to go to a regular week and observe when you have free time, when you are binge-watching shows, doomscroll or when you are so unmotivated that you don't want to do your work, study, do your homework etc. and also what tasks do you have when you go to work/school when you come back, clubs meetings etc. So everything you do regularly in the week

Lastly in this week you have to identify a Prime time where you are the most productive so you can plan your tasks around it.

A list can look like this:

Observation

Monday: Going home from work/school at 16:30 - one hour free time - until I have to go to extracurriculars/ course etc.

Tuesday

Wednesday

….

Prime time: Weekdays 10-12pm Weekend 9-12am

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵‿︵ ˚₊˚ ‿︵‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧ ₊˚

So, after you got the times where you are doing nothing/ wasting your time you have to start listing all the tasks and events you have, then categorize them based on importance and urgency.

For this you can use the Eisenhower-matrix

where you organize your work and projects into four categories: Important and Urgent, Important but Not Urgent, Urgent but Not Important, Not Urgent and Not Important.

The Eisenhower matrix, also known as the Urgent-Important matrix, is a time management strategy that helps you prioritize tasks based on urgency and importance.

The matrix has 4 quadrants or sections:

Important and Urgent: These tasks need immediate attention.

Important but not urgent: These are high priority items.

Urgent but not important: These are things that are time-sensitive but can often be delegated.

Not urgent and not important: These are activities that can either be delayed or removed from the list entirely.

example:

Planning your week in a strategic way

First you should Collect your observations in a 24 hours weekly planner like this and highlight the free time zones you have and also plan your regular sleeping time mine is from 10 to 5:30 am

How to fill the free-spots:

Start by allocating time for high-priority tasks, then move on to lower priority ones, and finally use remaining time for recreation.

Place the high priority task in the (near the) prime time

If there are regular recurring tasks like homework hobbies etc. you should put it in a designated time slot

Try to avoid overworking yourself and prioritize your mental health.

Remember to take breaks in between tasks and give yourself a reward after completing something difficult or time consuming.

It's basically time blocking which is a method where you divide and schedule your day into focused intervals with no distractions

How to do the most in the weekend

After such a full week doing all your tasks you're obviously going to be tired and unmotivated to do anything. But the workload isn't going to get smaller but bigger in the next week, so you have to at least get something done. But do not force yourself to be 100% productive in the weekend because we all need some rest and constantly overworking yourself is unhealthy and also doesn't give you a good ROI in the long run.

Here are some methods that I've tried categorized in three levels: high; medium and low level depending on the mood you're in.

High level methods

The first method I suggest you to do is a method that is called Batch Tasking by Grouping

With this technique, you group similar tasks together and complete them in batches.

For example, you can have a morning batch of 'work-related tasks', an afternoon batch of 'personal tasks', and an evening batch of 'leisure tasks'.

This method can be useful for individuals who are motivated by completing multiple similar tasks at the same time, and it helps to avoid task switching and maintain a clear sense of purpose in your workflow.

The second method is the the "Marathon Mindset" technique

It's a method where you set a specific amount of time, say 3-4 hours, to focus intensely on completing your tasks. During this time, you can take short breaks (around 10 minutes) to prevent burnout, but the focus is on maintaining a steady work rate for the entire duration.

This technique can help you complete difficult tasks, and it's excellent for individuals who get into a 'flow' state when working on a project.

Medium level methods:

time boxing

This involves setting a timer for a specific amount of work, and once the timer goes off, you move onto the next task, no matter how much work was done. This helps create a sense of urgency and focus.

Time Boxing and Activity Swapping technique

Here, you set a short amount of time, say 15 minutes, for each task you want to complete. Once the timer goes off, you take a 5 minute break before moving onto the next activity.

But here's where it gets different: Each time you finish a task, you swap to a completely different activity than the last one. For example, after writing an email, you could do some calisthenics, then after that some cleaning, and so on.

This technique is great for individuals who struggle with task boredom

Low level methods

Focus on your "1 Thing"

it means working on the most important task each day, the "one thing" that'll move you closer to your goals. Once you've completed that 'One Thing' you can move onto the next.

This technique will help you to avoid multitasking and stay motivated, focusing your energies on completing the most crucial tasks first

Focus Sprint and Rest

Here, you work in intense 15-minute sprints, followed by a short 5 minute break. You repeat the routine 2-4 times before taking a longer break of around 15-30 minutes.

You can alternate between tasks or stay focused on one, depending on your preferences. This method is great for individuals who prefer shorter bursts of intense work, with short but regular breaks for a quick boost in energy.

Priority Power Hour

Using this technique, you dedicate a specific time of day, say 1 hour, to working on your most important and difficult tasks. Optimally this should be your power hour During this power hour, you commit to nothing else except completing these high-priority tasks.

The rest of your day can be spent doing less important tasks or working on other passions. The key benefit of this technique is that it allows you to stay focused and productive during your most efficient times of the day, while avoiding burnout.

Some last general tips

First, you should set achievable goals. This means breaking big tasks into small ones. This is very helpful if you have a big project that you have to do because the task load doesn't overwhelm you as much when you break aspects e.g. research as doing the whole project in a couple days and being very stressed.

Then you should limit distractions like your mobile etc. I would pack those things to another room so that they are not in front of your eye which makes you less likely to use them and get distracted. Also you should try to minimize multitasking because it diverts your attention on too many tasks and topics which makes your work imprecise and actually costs more time because you have to get into the thought process of topic 1 again.

Start with the end in mind. Define what you want to achieve during your sessions. Having clear goals helps you stay focused.

It's also important to schedule short breaks in the work session especially if you have many things to do to prevent burnout.

You should also have a monthly overview of important tasks separatly in a calendar

Regularly review your time management strategies and adjust them as needed. What's working? What needs improvement?

Lastly you should give yourself some rewards if you completed a difficult and important task to make you more motivate for more tasks

[crypticjackal13]

is it okay to ask MK, red son, Mei, Wukong and Macaque x a Gender neutral reader that has ADHD, like they they fidget a lot and messes and fumbles over their words a lot? like they try to say something but mixes two words into one? sorry if its a lot to ask for!

No worries! I had some fun with this one

Traffic Light Trio and Shadowpeach (separately) x GN! ADHD!reader Headcanons!

Redson - condescending at first. But they slowly adjust and are actually pretty good at helping you! Has a spare fidget in one of their pockets in case you ever need one. They’re the “translator” for other people whenever you’re trying to talk as fast as you’re thinking and mix some stuff up—you don’t know how they do it, but they understand you perfectly. If you need something hands-on to do or are just bored in general, they’ll have you lend a hand in their projects, or at the very least let you sit with them and talk about your latest hyperfixations while they work. The only time they’re going to really question your logic (if there is any) is if they pop into the kitchen for a midnight snack and find you just fully zoned out, no thoughts head empty. Don’t worry they’ll snap you out of it lol

MK - OH SAME BRO. You two operate on a routine that you collaborated on because otherwise it would literally just be chaos. He has a whole bin of fidget toys that he lets you borrow from at any time! You two sit together and probably get mesmerized by those slime videos or even just those sensory videos. The apartment is probably covered in sticky note reminders. His favorite thing is letting you infodump to him about what you’re interested in, and then he gets to rant to you as well. He mixes up words just as much as you do, and yet you both always understand what the other is saying.

Mei - is the reasonable one out of the two of you. She helps you remember what you need to do and stuff, and honestly she benefits from making you a routine since she’ll probably end up making one for herself too. Definitely buys you fidget toys from time to time and ends up finding ones that she likes too! She keeps track of your interests so she can talk about them with you! Also probably has a backpack leash for you(she already has one for MK, so honestly it’s only natural you get one too). Very sweet, just wants you to be happy in any capacity!

Macaque - he has a very, very loose understanding of what ADHD is and how people cope with it. He balances out your hyperactivity the best he can, and honestly how could you refuse when he talks so smoothly to you about maybe chilling out for a minute? He’s with you for the good days and the difficult days, especially when you’re super unmotivated to do anything. Loves all the cool creative ideas you come up with; he has you help him brainstorm for his plays. He definitely doesn’t mind staying up late with you when you’re hyper focused, but he also knows there’s a line he needs to draw for the two of you so you don’t wake up the next day feeling exhausted. He himself burns out a lot I think so he’d be very good at recognizing when you’re burning out too(along with helping you manage things in a way that you can prevent it) 

Wukong - he gets it, to a degree! Having known MK for as long as he has, he knows the basics, however he is more than willing to sit down with you and get an understanding of what your experience is like! Runs with most of your ideas and impulses, unless of course you’re thinking too far ahead or even too quickly. Yes, taking a trip on his cloud to visit a zoo a few cities over sounds nice in theory, but hang on, let’s actually plan a proper trip. He has nothing to really do all day other than train with MK and take care of the monkey village, so he’s never gonna say no to you coming over and hanging out with him, doing your thing, etc. He probably has some trouble understanding you if you’re talking really fast, but he doesn’t get frustrated or upset. He just kindly asks you to repeat what you said but slower. He’s doing his best for you :]

[redsamuraiii]

Shows I watch when I’m down

We all have our bad days when we feel depressed and unmotivated for no reason. Don’t beat yourself up over it, it’s a sign that you’re having a burn out or simply exhausted and just need a break from everything. 

Don’t feel guilty about taking the day off to rest. Watching shows can be good for your mental health as it allows you to stop thinking and relax. To me it’s much better than scrolling aimlessly on social media.

On social media, you will inevitably compare your life progress with your peers making you feel more insecure and miserable. Watching shows can inspire and motivate you, it makes you think and reflect on your life.

Movie - The Last Samurai

“A man does what he can, until his destiny is revealed.”

It’s more than just a movie about Samurai battles, it’s a movie about finding your purpose in life. Tom Cruise plays a broken character named Nathan Algren who is forever haunted by his past. He no longer sure of what he is fighting for. He does not know what to do with his life. He sleep walks through life and drowns his sorrow in drinks hoping to ease the pain and forget the past.

Lost in life, he does not even know why he is still alive and wishes to die to end his suffering which is why he is fearless in battle. Until he met Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe) that he began to re-evaluate his standing in life and way of thinking, transforming him into a better person who no longer need to drown himself in drinks, no longer feel pain but accepts himself for who he is.

Series - Cobra Kai

“Life shows no mercy, neither should we.”

It’s more than just a show about martial artists kicking butts, it’s a show of redemption and changing your life for the better. William Zabka plays a broken character named Johnny Lawrence who is traumatised by his childhood days. He finds it difficult to let go of the past when he has nothing to move on at present, much less think or plan about his future.

Lost in life, he does not even know what he is doing and sleepwalk his way through life, doing jobs he hates and drowning his sorrow in drinks. Until he met Miguel (Xolo Maridueña) and found his new purpose in life, a second chance, to make things better, for himself and the kids he aspired to help, so that they would not end up with regrets later on, like him. 

Drama - Fight Song

“I think God is too cruel.”

Kisara Hanae (Kiyohara Kaya) is a fearless, hard working and high spirited girl who takes pride in being an expert martial artists. But her life was crumbled when she almost died in a road accident after winning her tournament, causing her to began losing her hearing and unable to return to her martial arts training. She became broken, knowing that her life will never be the same again.

Her life began to change once again, but this time, for the better, when she met Ashida Haruki (Mamiya Shotaro), a struggling songwriter who used to be famous due to his one-hit wonder song but his band had disbanded, leaving him alone. Together, they tried to help one another in getting through their hard lives and learning to accept their new life and love themselves. 

Film - After the Rain

“I don’t have dreams and aspirations anymore.”

Akira Tachibana (Nana Komatsu) is a high school role model athlete that every student admired. Until she injured her leg during a training, which shattered her dreams into leaving the track and field club. Heartbroken and lost, as running was the only thing that made her happy since she was a child and the only thing that makes her feel special, she wondered why her life went wrong.

She works part time under her manager, Kondo Masami (Yo Oizumi), who is in the middle of a mid-life crisis. Seeing himself in her, a broken person, he tried his best to restore her back to her former glory in becoming a runner again. And seeing someone young and passionate like Akira rekindles his own forgotten dreams and lost youthful passion in becoming a writer.

Anime - Sakura Quest

"That’s when I realised, it doesn’t have to be me.”

Yoshino Koharu is from the countryside who came to Tokyo to study and find a job, hoping to start a new and exciting life but reality is often disappointing. After numerous failed job interviews, she questions her self-worth and doubt her own abilities until she got a contract job at the countryside which she resented as she is back to where she started.

But taking the job for the tourism board to revitalize a town opened her eyes and changes her mindset as she met other individuals from all walks of life, from other cities and towns who are as lost and confused as her in life. Despite her challenging job, she did not give up and over time, she grew to love her job. That’s when she realised that some things happen for a reason.

[jm-220591]

I wish today would be a completely different day for me.

Today, perhaps, will be just like any other ordinary day that passes quietly, like the time before in my life. No motivation, no progress, everything seems to be stuck in place. That’s my observation. A sluggish person, often fearful. Not confident to express myself, doing things half-heartedly, just to get them done.

The midday drowsiness leaves me exhausted. The feeling of not having enough sleep keeps my spirit in a state of perpetual boredom. Working without effectiveness, without productivity. My eyes can barely stay open, my body screaming for proper rest. Yet, after countless promises to myself, I still end up regretting every morning because I never went to bed early the night before.

This cycle seems endless, with no destination, no goals; not even a plan or a clear intention in mind. Another day passes, no different from the ones before.

There are days when I look back and regret the things I haven't done—learning English, watching TED Talks, or even the simple task of waking up early to exercise. All of these just fleeting thoughts that come and go, just like how I easily let myself off the hook. Everything remains unfinished, hanging in the air. I allow myself too much comfort, but never push myself to rise. One excuse after another is made up to justify my contentment with the current laziness. For example, learning English—I managed to go through two evening lessons, and now, it’s about to become another pile of crumpled paper left in the drawer.

Yes, I am that weak. I’m also sick of this sluggish version of myself. But what can I do? It’s so much easier to be carefree and comfortable.

That's the state of my life today: poor, sleepy, unmotivated, with everything just idly drifting by. My mother often gets her fortune told and she says I’m destined to have an easy life and be rich in the future. Sometimes I do wish to be rich, just so I can use money as an excuse to study this or that (an excuse I always use to justify my laziness). But, you see, I can’t even wake up early to keep myself healthy so I’ll have the energy to enjoy wealth later on. How could I ever have money to spend?

I put my hopes in many things, but not in myself. I know the right things to do to improve my life, but this sluggish body just won’t listen. I let everything pass by and then keep on regretting it. Someone, please give me a piece of motivation. Thank you so much.

Alright, that’s enough for today. I’m feeling lazy again.

And just a small note, this is a translation by ChatGPT. I'm not skilled enough to write such a long passage in English on my own. If there are any mistakes in the translation, I hope you can overlook them and help me make the necessary corrections. Thank you.

[peggyrojas]

Transform Your Body & Mind in 30 Days: Join the Fit & Focused Challenge!

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But what if I told you there’s a better way?

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[study-seshi]

05.20.2024

This entry is going to be a little more somber, but I need to get my thoughts down somewhere. I want to be vulnerable and give myself space to process my emotions.

Lately, as in the last few years, I’ve felt this burning mission to succeed in the name of my family. That’s not an uncommon feeling for anyone pursuing higher education, however, this feeling has since consumed me. Any negative grade or feedback is not only a hit to my ego, but a sign that I’ll never be good enough. Looking at the work of my peers, I feel this overwhelming rush of stress and mania in which I have to compete against them. And yes, to some degree, the art industry is competitive. But I put myself down so much that I’m ashamed of everything I create. All my ideas, all my assignments, all my work is just never good enough.

Every day I think of my dad, who, now that he is finally free from kids, trying to accomplish his own dreams. But he’s not free. The struggle of our tuitions and finances is a heavy burden for both him and my mother. So because of that, I try to give everything my all. I spend hours on my work, editing and revising it, searching for feedback. But it’s never good enough. The when I become unmotivated, I procrastinate, which doesn’t help in the slightest.

I want to do well for my siblings and mom. I want to do well for my dad. But at this point, my brain is just foggy. I feel empty. I feel as if I’ve lost myself and my passion. I look around to all the things I’d rather be doing. I’d rather have the time to engage in my hobbies, to travel and spend time with loved ones. And I know that if I do well with art, I can do all those things. But suddenly, life feels so short. Everything is too short while going by so quickly.

I don’t feel ready to graduate.

I wish I had three more years to just sit and work on my own art and personal projects. My professor was right, if you want to be a good artist, art has to be your entire life. I miss talking to my friends, I miss crafting and my other hobbies, I miss play games, I miss traveling, I miss cooking, I miss everything I used to do before I came to school.

And don’t get me wrong, I’m severely grateful for all the opportunities and people I’ve met. I wouldn’t wish it any different. It’s just all too fast. It’s just consuming my life. All I do is wake up, go to class, go to the office, do homework and sleep, then repeat. Everyday is the same. When I try to take the time to live life, I end up ruining that schedule and falling behind. It’s hard to manage this work life balance. I never feel like I’m doing enough. I always feel like I’m doing wrong.

I just want to be happy again. I want to love art. I do love art, it’s just I don’t love my art. Sometimes I wonder if I should’ve pursued something else, maybe a different kind of art or entirely new degree in general. But I can’t imagine myself being good at anything else.

I feel stuck. I feel sick. I feel tired constantly.

Today, I want to take the time to heal and enjoy myself, work on my portfolio. But tomorrow, I go back into that same routine. Luckily, summer is almost here, but then I have summer classes to worry about. School is exhausting.

Hopefully, once I get into the field, and I have a consistent job, I’ll have that time to enjoy myself.

If only education wasn’t so expensive.

If only I didn’t live so far from my family, friends and pets.

If only I had fun again..

[feelingunfulfilled]

Something particularly fascinating (and also equality frustrating) to me is how my depression interacts with my anxiety. During my heightened anxiety, I felt overwhelmed and stressed over my fears for the future and sudden changes. I also cared a LOT about how others perceived me due to an intensified fear of judgement and criticism. I restricted myself from having deep relationships as the idea of vulnerability was terrifying. So for a long time, there where aspects of myself which I hid away because I was worried what my friends or family would think. I could only discuss My Little Pony around the people who watched the show, and I could only make silly jokes around the friend who I grew up with, and I could only share specific drawings with certain people as well. I convinced myself they wouldn’t understand my diversified personality even if I managed to be vulnerable (hence why my loneliness worsened). I felt kinda ostracized from the group because I never shared interests outside of the shared ones, and rarely shared anything about my personal life. There where plenty moments where I felt my stomach sink as I watched them from afar. Another thing that was also typical of me; guilt trip myself out of fear I’m being “a terrible person” for not reaching out and contacting old friends. All of this became common place with anxiety

But then the opposite became true with depression. It’s like flipping a coin and suddenly everything is juxtaposed

Depression numbs a lot of that built-up anxiety inducing fear because you suddenly stop giving a shit about things. You stop caring about grades and paying attention in class because you’ve convinced yourself that “your lazy” and “stupid” no matter what. You give into feeling fatigued and unmotivated and the desire to be pessimistic increases. You get annoyed when people tell you to “fake it till you make it” because you’re tired of acting like things are fine and that your happy when you don’t feel anything. You feel empty, emotionless, directionless, and lost. But it starts becoming the normal. It’s that attitude of “I’m going to do what I want to do and not let anything else dictate me” which is so vastly opposed to the way my brain operated on anxiety. It’s kinda freeing honestly. You start to accept your friendships as what they are, surface level. But that doesn’t mean it’s too late to keep building the bridges and digging deeper. Relationships go two ways, and what you put into it matters. If you want it to be meaningful you gotta share some meaningful information, and simply be true to yourself.

So obviously the upside to depression is you stop giving a shit about others words. It numbs the anxiety about fear of judgement, so you feel able to speak your mind more directly then before without holding back opinions and thoughts to appease others. However, this also backfires because the positive words others say to you don’t seem to matter. Your relationships loose some meaning because you don’t feel emotionally connected anymore. Sometimes it feels like your words hold no meaning, and encouragement to friends falls flat. Almost sounding disingenuous and fake because you don’t have that optimism for your own life. Like I can see my friends archiving success in the future, but I can’t fathom that for myself anymore. And your exhaustion and lack of motivation causes you to detach yourself from social interaction. There have been times where I ignore messages for days because I didn’t want people to know how I’ve been doing (obviously not doing great). During these moments, I’ve noticed my anxiety actually HELPS me. My anxiety tells me “hey, if you don’t reach out to your friends right now, you’ll be wasting your time. Your friendship will drift apart and die unless you put the effort into maintaining it”. It might be over exaggerating but it gets the job done and forces me to talk to them. To ask “what’s up” and “hope your doing okay”. Even if they don’t respond, at least I can rest easy knowing I did my part and tried to keep this connection alive.

So yeah, it’s kinda crazy how depression and anxiety go hand in hand sometimes. Kinda balances things out in a strange way

[softxsuki]

*URGENT REQUEST* Hello!!! I absolutely love you're writing, like I binge read every one of your works last night 💀 I'm so sorry to ask this, please don't worry if you feel unmotivated! It was an urgent request, if you were able to. The other day I passed out during school, and when I woke up I felt absolutely horrible and scared, it was upsetting for me that I woke up to everyone surrounding and trying to touch me. Would I be able to get Bakugouxfem!reader comfort for that? Thank you so much.

Bakugou Comforts Reader After She Passes out in School

Pairing: Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Passing out, slight swearing from Bakugou (nothing major)

Genre: Comfort, slight fluff

Post-Type: Oneshot

Word Count: 1.8k

Summary: In which you pass out in the halls on your way to meet Bakugou for lunch in the Cafeteria. After overhearing students talk about an unconscious girl in the halls, he races over to see you surrounded by a crowd of students, looking distressed. He takes you away and tries to give you some comfort and you both try to figure out what happened to you.

[A/N: Hello anon. Thank you so much for that compliment, it means the world to me to hear that you love my writing! I’m so flattered omg. Please don’t ever apologize for asking anything. I accept urgent requests for a reason--so I can try to give you guys some form of comfort if you’re really needing it! Bakugou is one of my fav characters to write about, so I’m never unmotivated when it comes to writing for him heh. I’m so sorry that happened to you! I can’t even begin to imagine how confusing and scary that must have been for you. I have a friend who has fainted multiple times either in school or in public and she’s told me countless of times how scary it was for her. How are you now? I hope you’re okay :(. Hopefully this oneshot can give you at least of bit of comfort from our favorite blasty boy. Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to come to me to write this for you! It was a pleasure <3 P.S: If this is trash, then I blame it on the fact that it’s late and I have two functioning braincells atm. Please let me know if this doesn’t meet your standards and I’ll do my best to change it up for you! I’m always open to constructive criticism]

“What happened to her?” you hear numerous murmurs around you, as you blink a few times, trying to come back to your senses.

The last thing you remembered was seeing black spots cloud your vision before everything went black.You now found yourself face-to-face with the ground, a sight very different from the one you last saw as you were walking to the Cafeteria to meet with Bakugou for lunch--something you both did everyday. 

“She’s awake!” someone yells and all of a sudden tons of eyes are now looking down at you from all angles.

You fumble quickly, managing to move into a sitting position on the ground as you curl into a ball, dodging all the hands that were reaching out to you, trying to help you get back on your feet.

“Please move away,” you whimper, but no one hears you.

Please leave me alone, you think to yourself, wishing the crowd would just disappear and leave you alone for a few minutes so you can at least figure out what exactly happened to you.

Tears begin to brim in your eyes from the whirlwind of emotions spiraling inside you; feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and just confused and frightened about everything. 

Your attention is then directed to the back of the crowd, and you’re surprised and even a little relieved to see familiar explosions forming behind the sea of people huddled around you, along with a voice you knew too well.

“Move the hell out of my way before I blast you all out of the way,” the familiar fiery voice of your boyfriend rings in the halls.

The crowd of people finally begin to disperse slightly to let Bakugou through. He had been waiting outside the Cafeteria for you when he overheard a group of students talking about a girl who was unconscious in the halls. Noticing your unusual lateness along with the description of your similar characteristics with this unconscious girl, he was in a full sprint toward the scene in no time, hoping that it wasn’t you. He ran all the way until he saw the circle of people that he was now threatening to move out of his way so he could see who was at the center of it.

Pushing his way through the crowd he finally makes it to the center where you are. His eyes widen, brows furrowing as he sees you, of all people, on the ground--thankfully not unconscious. But what makes him upset is the tears that are beginning to fall down your face.

He’s on the floor by your side in an instant.

“Y/N, what the hell happened?” He's inspecting you from head to toe, looking for any injuries, eyes pleading for an explanation from you so he could understand what was going on.

Little does he know that you’re as confused and probably as scared as he was. 

You look around, still feeling overwhelmed by everyone’s eyes glued on your form on the ground and you find yourself instinctively moving closer to Bakugou, wrapping a hand around his arm.

“Can we go somewhere else first, please?” you practically beg in a whisper, wanting to melt into his arm so the stares would cease.

Say no more. Bakugou has you lifted in his arms. Not a care in the world that all these students are staring at him. He doesn’t care what they might say about him or his actions towards you, his only thought in the moment is your well being and comfort.

He doesn’t even have to say a word to get the crowd to make way for him again as the fire in his eyes speaks for itself. Once again, the crowd disperses and people eventually start making their way to their own destinations, figuring the “show” was over. But one student decides otherwise; a hand grips your arm as the student gets right in your face.

“Oh my gosh Y/N. are you alright?” it was one of your classmates, but you visibly flinch from the contact and Bakugou notices right away.

He moves you quickly from their grasp so that you’re now blocked from this person with his own body. 

“Touch her again and I’ll kill you,” he threatens, not even waiting for your classmate to respond before he’s off again, walking somewhere the two of you can be alone. 

You don’t even think about correcting his rude behavior as you’re still too preoccupied with thoughts about your incident. 

Bakugou moves swiftly through the halls with a destination in mind. His hands are firmly gripped with one around your waist and the other gently supporting your thighs, holding you bridal style in his arms. You lean your head onto his shoulder, feeling surprisingly calm in his arms, knowing that you were now safe in his hands.

He turns quickly into the nurses office, where Recovery Girl is sitting at her desk and gets ready to greet you both before Bakugou cuts her off.

“Not now old hag,” he grumbles as he gently places you on one of the beds and quickly closes the curtain around you both.

It’s practically driving him crazy that he wasn’t there to witness what actually happened to you and he’s dying to find out what occurred from you, but he stays quiet until you’re ready to talk. He sits silently in the chair beside the bed you’re on and patiently surprisingly wow waits for you to speak, but his eyes are practically pleading for you to let him in on what was going on. 

“Thanks,” you finally say, shifting slightly on the bed, still shaking from the events that just took place, “I’m not really sure what happened Suki.”

“At least tell me what you remember,” he moves a little closer to you, placing a hand over your thighs that were still anxiously shaking side to side, trying to calm you down a bit. 

You think for a while before speaking again, “I was just walking to meet you at the Cafeteria and I suddenly got dizzy. I remember having a headache all day so I figured the dizziness was just from that, but then my vision got blurry and everything went black. Then the next moment, I’m awake with a huge crowd around me, trying to touch me and yeah… you know what happened after that.”

He frowns once you mention the people who were reaching out to you, invading your personal space and ignoring the visible distress you were going through in that moment. 

“It was overwhelming to wake up to all that when I’m not even sure what happened exactly. Well I know now that I probably passed out, but I still don’t know why,” you mumble, fidgeting with your fingers in your lap.

“Tch, I wish I was there sooner so I could have flung them all to hell,” he grumbles, slowly reaching over to grip your hand in his.

It was something he rarely ever did as his hands were pretty sweaty and he feared he’d accidentally use his quirk while holding your hand, but he knew you needed the comfort and it was only for a moment.

Bakugou hops up in the bed next to you, pulling you into his arms as he guides your head to lay on his shoulder. He places a gentle kiss to the top of your head, staying there in silence for a while.

“At first I was annoyed that you were late to meeting me, not that I’d actually be angry at your for showing up late...but then I overheard people talking about a girl who was lying unconscious on the floor--I’ve never felt so nervous in my life as images of you unconscious on the ground filled my mind…” he trails off, refusing to look into your eyes as his confession.

You place your hand on top of his, feeling a million times better just being in his warm embrace and breathing in his familiar scent that you loved.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” you tug on his shirt slightly with your free hand, fiddling with the ends of it.

He taps you on the hand gently, almost to scold you for apologizing and finally looks down at you.

“What’re ya apologizing for you idiot? I’m the one that’s sorry. I should have been there when it happened,” he huffs.

He wasn’t angry, just still worked up by what he witnessed and annoyed at himself for not at least meeting you at your class and walking with you to the Cafeteria. What if you had hit your head and got a concussion? 

He instantly shakes his head to clear that thought away. It wasn’t the time for thinking about the ‘what if’s.’ What mattered was that you were now in his arms, safe. 

“I was so scared...Well, I’m still scared. I still don’t know why this happened,” you shakily say, now coming to terms with the fact that you had passed out randomly.

“I know baby,” he whispers into your hair leaving multiple kisses on your head leading down to your forehead.

He wished he could kiss away every worry that was forming in your mind, to at least relieve you from the fear you were feeling.

“We’ll figure it out together,” he continues, never once removing his arm from around you, “Let’s just let the hag check on you at least, see what she has to say about things.”

“Honey~” you scold in a whisper, hating the ‘nickname,’ he had for Recovery Girl.

“What?” 

You sigh and roll your eyes, getting ready to get up so you could open the curtain a bit to call Recovery Girl inside.

“Where do you think you’re going? You’re not moving until she gives you the clear,” he frowns, holding you in place so you couldn’t move any further away from him.

“Then be nice.”

“Fine,” he sighs and opens the curtain slightly.

“Can you check on her now?” he asks Recovery Girl who was still in the same spot at her desk.

“Why of course,” she responds and makes her way to you both.

Bakugou is by your side through the whole checkup and you explain what happened to you to Recovery Girl. He listens intently once she gives her opinion and informs you on what you need to do next and what you need to look out for. 

Once she’s done, she wishes you well and leaves you both alone once more.

“You heard her, rest up, eat all your meals, and drink plenty of water. Let’s keep a close eye on you in case this happens again, but if it does, I’ll be there with you next time,” Bakugou assures you, “Don’t even think about walking on your own from now on. Wait for me in front of your classes once they end.”

You smile slightly at his protectiveness, feeling incredibly warm and fuzzy inside at his words as you nod in understanding. You were calm with him by your side, and for once after that whole incident, you felt like everything would be okay.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 11/1/2021

[k-rising]

LE SSERAFIM's group dynamic (tarot reading)

DISCLAIMER: This tarot reading is for entertainment purposes only.

group dynamic

8 of pentacles (rx) + 4 of wands + 7 of wands (rx) + 10 of wands (rx) + queen o f wands (rx) + 9 of wands (rx) + 2 of wands (rx) + 8 of wands (rx) + temperance + 5 of wands (rx)

in their trainee days, it was difficult for them to work together. the members wanted to work, however they were unmotivated because something or someone prevented them from doing so. now they are worried and pressured, since they have a great responsibility to reinvent themselves as a group after garam's departure.

their dynamic was difficult at first, since they didn't understand each other, they didn't feel comfortable with each other and communication here was bad, so it took them a long time to strengthen their relationship. some of the members may have thought of giving up at some point, as they felt overwhelmed with the type of relationship they had. I feel like there were a lot of confrontatios and there was something like a constant battle to defend themselves. there was also a lot of rivalry between them.

now that garam was kicked out they have to start delegating and reach an agreement. they need to trust each other and be more responsible. if this is not resolved asap, there will be even more jealousy and selfishness in the group.

I also feel that they are not satisfied at all with how the company manages them. they are outraged with source's disorganization and also found it unfair that the company decided to debut garam knowing that she was involved in all that stuff. if their relationship with the company doesn't improve, it's very likely that the group will disband or that some of the girls will leave the group. everything that happened with garam didn't benefit them at all, but they shouldn't give up!

now the girls are resting and waiting for their future activities. there's a lot of energy here, so, eventually, they want to continue working. the members are hoping to have success and that their dynamic can be more peaceful, now that everything has been resolved. they should avoid conflicts and respect their differences in order to stick together.

how does each of the girls feel about the group?

9 of wands (rx) + 4 of pentacles (rx) + the sun

sakura ⇢ she was determined to debut in source and worked really hard to become a member of le sserafim. now sakura feels a bit angry and is afraid that the group will do badly... however, she's optimistic and thinks that in the future the group will be very popular. sakura is happy being part of the group.

3 of wands (rx) + knight of swords (rx) + 10 of wands

chaewon ⇢ there were a lot of obstacles before they debuted... maybe source delayed their debut or there were just a lot of conflicts about who was going to be part of le sserafim. now, chaewon feels frustrated and angry about everything they had to go through. she doesn't know what decisions she should make as a leader, so she wants someone to help her. she's optimistic and knows that they will achieve many things together, but she doesn't know what to do to lead the group. chaewon is carrying a lot of responsibility and is working very hard so that she can be a great leader for the group.

ace of wands (rx) + page of swords + 4 of pentacles

yunjin ⇢ she was so exhausted from waiting to debut and that may have led her to lose hope of fulfilling her dream of being an idol. now yunjin feels very happy and super confident with her group. she has great hope that they will achieve many things together. she's very excited about everything that she will experience with her members and it's very likely that in the future she will make decisions about her comebacks, like for example writing the lyrics of their songs.

the lovers (rx) + 4 of pentacles + page of swords

kazuha ⇢ it seems that there were several conflicts between her and another member, but kazuha always tried to get along with her anyways. now she feels the same way as yunjin: kazuha is satisfied with her group and has great hope that they will achieve many things together. she will also help on taking decisions about their comebacks, like for example creating a choreography or writing the lyrics of their songs as well!

the hierophant + 5 of cups + 8 of wands

eunchae ⇢ at first, she was focused on fulfilling her dreams when she was a trainee and she didn't care about anything else. respecting her relationship with the rest of the members, she always treats them with a lot of respect, since they are older than her. now eunchae feels extremely sad and disappointed by everything they had to experience because of garam. she's worried about what the future of the group will be like... but she also feels a bit hopeful, since they just debuted and can reverse the future. there's a lot of energy and will to move forward and work hard.

[ulteriorm0tiv3s]

︰˳⁺꒰🍫꒱・get well soon ɞ₊*ฅ

pairing: dark choco x sick reader (gender neutral)

genre: fluff

summary: you started to feel a little under the weather lately, and since you were stuck inside, no one really came to visit or help you out. well, someone did eventually.

notes: hey everyone, sorry for not posting anything festive back in december for christmas, i was really unmotivated and had a lot of stuff going on in my personal life. expect random postz here and there, i’m working on a few thingz currently. but for now here’z this, i’m sick (started writing this while i was still really ill, but i’m pretty much better now lmao) so i made this little fic, enjoy :D

“fuck,” you muttered to yourself as you slumped down onto your couch. you probably should have listened to everyone when you first started showing symptoms of sickness. but no, for some reason you instead used the overused excuse of “nah im fine don’t worry about it.” all your friends were out partying or whatever, so you were alone. just you, your snotty tissues, and your nasty ass medicine (that probably wasn’t helping you but you take it anyway).

the first few days of your little quarantine consisted of you groaning and coughing 24/7, contemplating your life while laying on the floor, and asking google repeatedly if you were dying. “i’ve literally never felt so shitty before what the fuck,” you grumbled angrily, still trying to lift yourself off the couch, but your body pains for real said “no bestie.” deciding to just give up, you glance over at your clock and realize it was about time to take the medicine again. however, the medicine was in the kitchen and you felt like your whole body would crumble if you stood up. “welp, plan b time,” you say to yourself. you roll off of the couch and just awkwardly shimmy on the floor until you reach the counter the medicine was located on. eventually you managed to stand, you were wobbling a lot, but hey at least you were there.

you gag dramatically as you down the small plastic cup of ‘honey flavored’ medicine. seriously, there’s no way that stuff is actually honey flavored, it tastes like shit. after taking that nasty ass medicine, you retreat back to your couch and chug some juice, now your mouth can be at peace again.

exhaustion gnawed at you like crazy, it was hard to stay awake. but your eyes grew heavier and heavier, until they shut. only to open back up when you heard the doorknob begin to rattle. oh great, a perfect time for a robbery attempt. soon taking notice of a familiar black and white color scheme, you realized it technically wasn’t a breaking and entering. dark choco was a friend of yours, and you told him that you had a spare key under the mat outside; which he used to get into your house sometimes. so rather than breaking and entering, he was just….welcoming himself inside (which he did a lot, might i add).

once he finally got inside (took him awhile because of those giant ass shoulder pads), he sat next to you on the couch. “y’know i’m sick right? it’s not wise to just break into my house and sit next to me,” you sighed before adding, “i was about to nap too.” dark choco looked over at you apologetically, “sorry, bothering you was not my intention. i wanted to give you something that would aid your sickness.” you raise your eyebrow and sit up slightly, “something to aid my sickness?” you question. he unwraps himself from his cape, showcasing a small container in his hand. “carrot and beet made this when they heard you were sick, and asked me to deliver it to you.”

you figured it was some type of soup or something. you tell him to set it in the kitchen, which he does. afterwards, he proceeds to help you get into a more comfortable position. “i’m not a child, i don’t need you to baby me,” you huff in annoyance. “i am aware, but you act like it sometimes.” if you could see his face, you’d definitely see some sort of smug look.

you roll your eyes, “well don’t complain if you get sick from watching over me.” dark choco just sort of nodded, slouching back onto the couch. his presence was comforting. it felt nice to have someone stay with you while you were sick. awhile later, you fell asleep, which brought a small smile to his face. seeing you in such a peaceful state made him feel happy.

it was going well so far. dark choco would stay and help you out. he would feed you, bring you items you requested, and even carried you to different rooms. you were surprised he hadn’t gotten sick yet, his immune system is probably just better than yours. well that’s what you thought until you noticed he was starting to show the same symptoms you had.

“you’re sick now, aren’t you?” he didn’t respond, he simply just slumped himself onto the couch and sighed. “i’ll take that as a yes.” well, at least someone understood your suffering now.

but despite being sick, dark choco still did a lot for you. it was quite heartwarming. and with him being sick, he had to take medicine too. that was the second best part. lounging on the couch with your tiny plastic cups, doing a small cheers, and gagging in disgust with him. being sick wasn’t too bad after all.

[perpetual-stories]

Deus Ex Machina in Writing

hello, hello, everyone! sorry for not posting the past few days, I’ve been unmotivated-to do anything and overall lazy and tired.

I hate it. I somehow managed to find some energy to write this short post today, so let’s get started.

Off note, I’ve been binge watching dragon ball z, that is all.

What is deus ex machina?

According to MasterClass, deus ex machina is a plot device used when a seemingly impossible conflict is solved by an unexpected person or event.

It is often a cheap manner of inserting an easy conclusion, yet can also function as a comedic device and add an element of surprise.

Deus ex machina does not have to refer to a literal machine—it can be the emergence of a new character, a surprising use of magic, or even the realization that “it was all just a dream.”

Origin of the Term:

is a Latin term literally translated from a Greek phrase meaning “god from the machine.”

originated in ancient Greek theater as a reference to the stage machinery that would bring statues of deities or actors playing gods to and from the stage.

machine could be a crane to lift the actor or statue, or a mechanism letting it rise through a trapdoor in the floor

would allow the “gods” to appear and provide divine intervention at the end of a play in order to provide a neat solution or happy ending.

would allow the “gods” to appear and provide divine intervention at the end of a play in order to provide a neat solution or happy ending.

would allow the “gods” to appear and provide divine intervention at the end of a play in order to provide a neat solution or happy ending.

How Is Deus Ex Machina Used?

in order for it to be a true deus ex machina, the new element cannot have been foreshadowed or predicted in any way

Some view the use of the deus ex machina device as a way to introduce a simple solution into a hopeless situation—a lazy author wrote themselves into a corner and has taken the easy way out in order to produce a happy ending

deus ex machina can also provide a means of comic relief—a solution so bizarre and ridiculous it becomes funny

What Is the Difference Between a Deus Ex Machina and a Plot Twist?

deus ex machina is often considered a contrived solution, and is not the same as a plot twist

A plot twist is a turn of events that offers opportunities for growth and development for your characters

plot twist appears near the midway point of a narrative, it grips your audience’s attention and inspires the careful study of all the details that will follow

a plot twist appears at the end of the film or in the final pages of a novel, it tends to form the lasting memories that an audience associates with your narrative

there you have it folks! a quick and easy post, man, I feel exhausted, I hate this.

please like, comment and reblog if you found this interesting! feel free to repost on Instagram and tag me perpetualstories!

Follow me on tumblr and Instagram for more writing and grammar tips and more!

[myhoneststudyblr]

every single student in the world has likely procrastinated at some point - i know i definitely have! sometimes i think it can be quite helpful because means that you don't spend every minute of every day studying... but on the other hand, it can become very hard to beat. there are so many advice posts in the community on this topic but i thought that i would share my own tips! 

disclaimer: everyone studies differently and these are my personal tips. they may not work for you but they can be a good starting point 

What is Procrastination?

i found this little summary of procrastinating on the internet and thought it completely covered everything that i wanted to say on this point:

Procrastination is the habit of delaying an important task, usually by focusing on less urgent, more enjoyable, and easier activities instead. It is different from laziness, which is the unwillingness to act.

Procrastination can restrict your potential and undermine your career. It can also disrupt teamwork, reduce morale, and even lead to depression and job loss. So, it's crucial to take proactive steps to prevent it.

The first step to overcoming procrastination is to recognize that you're doing it. Then, identify the reasons behind your behavior and use appropriate strategies to manage and overcome it.

- How to Stop Procrastinating by Mindtools

so what is learnt from this is that:

procrastination is not being lazy 

it is avoiding tasks by doing other easier tasks

it can have negative effects

you need to proactively take steps to avoid it 

first, recognise the procrastinating then use strategies to break the cycle

Conventional Tips

these are the basic tips that are some of the most well-known strategies for ending procrastination and can be some of the most important steps!

1. get organised. tidy up your desk to study space because there is nothing worse than having to work in a place that is chaotic and mess. collect the information you need for the task, for example, notes you've made or a textbook. 

2. to-do lists are your friend. a lot of people (including me) really struggle with timetables for studying because it can seem really structured and there is no flexibility or real allowance for things that may crop up during the day (your food takes longer to cook, you have to unexpectedly do a task around the house, you get a really bad headache and need to take a break). in my opinion, to-do lists help solve this problem! you can clearly see the tasks that you want to get done for the day but you don't have stressful time constraints. personally, i always use todoist to keep track of everything. to-do lists also make it easier to break tasks down

3. break the task down. one of the biggest cause of procrastination is having a huge task or project ahead of you because it seems really daunting and where on earth are you even going to start? so break it down *completely*. in your to-do list, don't just write ‘german homework’, write down even task that you need to do within it and be specific: for example ‘pg. 11 ex 4a, 4b and 4c’, ‘textbook listening task on pg. 47′ and ‘250-word essay on social media in Germany’. breaking it down makes the tasks seem more attainable and when you’ve done one and you can cross it off your list, it gives you a boost to keep going

4. eliminate distractions. this is a big one. even if you do all of the above, if you are constantly being distracted by things, you aren't going to get much done. try to find a place that is quiet enough that you can focus and you feel comfortable studying in. as well as this you need to think about what to do with your phone as the likelihood is that this will be the most distracting thing. you can simply turn it off, put on do not disturb, leave it in another room or use and app like forest (that last one is what i use and i don't know where i would be without it!)

5. use incentives. finishing a task is an achievement so treat it like one! before you study, decide on something that you will give yourself as a reward for doing it. this may be watching that new episode of your favourite programme or a tasty snack! 

6. set timers. don't just launch yourself into a task, because that again can make it seem daunting and feel unending. rather, set a timer for a specific time because you’ll know that you just need to focus for that specific length of time and then you can go take a break and do something nice. for timing your study sessions, you could use the Pomodoro technique 

7. allow for breaks (but try to avoid long ones). you are not a machine and as much as it would be great to be able to, you cant study for hours on end without giving your mind a break from focusing. so schedule in break time for yourself, particularly for times that you know your motivation dips, and do something nice. but be very careful that you don't accidentally slip back into procrastinating habits and keep breaks short. unless you are very disciplined it is unlikely that an hour-long break will stay just an hour.

8. know how you study but don’t be afraid to mix it up. everyone studies differently and so there are going to be some study methods that work better for some than others. so try to make sure that you are studying smart and that you aren't wasting your own time cause that can be incredibly unmotivating. HOWEVER, if there is anything that I’ve learnt from online school its that doing the same task all the time, every day is mind-numbingly boring and you just want to do anything else. so try to switch up what you are doing. if you usually just type notes from the textbook, maybe try doing it in a mindmap one week, or on flashcards, maybe do some practise questions to keep your mind engaged. 

9. play music. now this one really depends on the person and how you study. some people need absolute silence and that is fine, but others need something to fill the silence or maybe cover up background noise (for example if you live in a busy household). try to pick music however that is not going to distract you - the key tips for this is to pick music without lyrics. this can be classical music, video game music, or general ‘chill’ music (there are so many playlists out there for chill studying music). i personally listen to Francesco Parrino religiously while studying because he does piano covers of pop songs, so i know the songs and enjoy them but there are no lyrics that can distract me 

10. stay hydrated, well-rested and not hungry. this is part of eliminating distractions because if you are thirsty, you are going to be thinking about how you want a drink; if you are tired, you are going to be thinking about how tired you are; if you are hungry, you are going to be thinking about what you want for lunch or whatever. make sure you are hydrated, well-rested and not hungry so you can focus solely on your task or work.

Unconventional Tips

these are some slightly more unusual tips that you might not have seen before but that I've nevertheless found very useful!

1. video yourself or do a timelapse. this is something that I’ve only recently done because i saw a tip on this from someone during my quarantine challenge and thought that it would be cool to do. and it really works! i did it twice once when i was typing notes and a second time when i was handwriting notes and it really made me focus on what is as doing because the video put some pressure on me to look like i was properly studying - i could take a 5-minute break in the middle of my work to mess around with my pen, I just had to keep going so it really forces you to do the work. also watching the video when i was done made me really proud cause i had visual proof of how much i completed!

2. accept that some days you are going to get very little done. this may seem a little bit odd to put on a post that is meant to avoid getting nothing done but it’s actually a very important thing to remember. sometimes you need to take days off because otherwise you are going to burnout and some days you are just not going to be in the right mindset for studying because maybe you are exhausted after a big exam, or you have a headache or you feel unwell. you just need to accept it, draw a line under it, take time for yourself, and resolve yourself to work tomorrow once you feel a bit better. there is no shame in taking time to make sure you stay healthy. if you can, try to get your quickest, easiest task done so you have some sense of accomplishment.

3. ‘churn it out and f**k off’. this was my mum’s motto when she was studying and working in academia. and she recently told it to me when i was getting stressed about all the big tasks during online school. i am a perfectionist and i always want to hand in my very best work, put 100% into everything, but honestly that is impossible. some days you just need to get stuff done and if that isn't your very best then it doesn't matter too much because at least you got it done. and once you get it done you can just forget about it.

4. ask a friend or parent to check up on you. when you are studying by yourself it can be hard to motivate yourself because you know that no ones actually going to check whether you made those votes or did the reading, so ask a friend or someone you live with to check whether you've done the work or get them to read essays. you then get an external reason to study or do your tasks because you need to show them something.

5. rephrase how you think of tasks. when you think that ‘you need to do this task’ or ‘you have to get this done’, a lot of the time this causes unneeded stress and anxiety that is not going to help you at all. also it makes it seem like you are being forced to do something and human beings generally don't act great when they are forced to do something. so try to change your language when thinking about task into one that is more forgiving such as ‘i choose to do this project so that i can go meet my friends tomorrow’ and ‘i choose to read this book now because it will help me in the lecture next week’. this is probably the most difficult strategy on this list and it will take a lot of practice (i am certainly still practising it) but in the long term, it can help you change the way in which you view studying for the better. 

✨✨✨

i hope this was helpful and that these tips will be useful, and perhaps you've discovered some new ones! if anyone has anything to add please feel free to reply or reblog with the advice <3

[kashimos-hajime]

reflection (4/8) | r.b.

summary: He thinks that’s what he clings to the most. The Candidates, and the chance to see you again, just to give what he wrote to you. Or, the truth comes out.

WARNINGS: angst!!! swearing, yearning pairing: reiner braun x fem!reader word count: 4.9k

a/n: part 4!!! time to get sad!!! a shorter chapter but the next chapters are MUCH longer until the end so enjoy!!

masterlist

crossposted on ao3

Reiner walks all the way back home to grab it. 

His mom was blissfully unmotivated to interrogate him, and he slips the metal tin into his breast pocket, one he bought as soon as he returned to Marley as he leaves the house. It’s similar to the one he used to store Ymir’s letter to Historia. The only difference now is what it contains.

He doesn’t know why he’s thinking about it. No one knows he even has this little container of secrets—it’s been hidden underneath his mattress, wedged between it and the frame for four years, only removed on birthdays, holidays, days where he can’t even recall why he should get out of bed which seem to be more and more often as of late. If anyone found out, he’d probably be interrogated, possibly killed.

It’s treasonous, but he can’t bring himself to fling it.

The silence is nice. There aren’t a lot of people in the streets, considering the show. Not even his thoughts are raging against him, and the sun is warm even as it slips below the horizon to make room for the moon. Glancing up at the clouds, purple and yellow and red, he shoves his hands into his pockets and closes his eyes.

The wind curls against his face, all gentle-like, a caress almost, and his heart begins to ache.

“Isn’t that Vice Chief Braun?”

His eyes open, and he catches two kids standing by a mailbox, gaping at him and he smiles softly waving at them.

“Hi, Mister Braun!”

“Get to the show, kids,” he calls back, and they glance at each other, eyes alight with pure joy. It’s enough to make his smile last until they’re gone, and he turns his gaze back to the path he’s walking. With every step, though, the tin in his breast pocket seems to weigh heavier. The faint clinks and scraping noises of metal against metal accompanying his heartbeat, he sighs.

Not for the first time, he hears his mother’s voice in his head, chastising him for not continuing their honorary bloodline, and not for the first time he imagines a home by the sea, with kids of blonde hair and a certain twinkle in their eyes running along the sands.

Reaching up to his breast pocket, he pulls the tin out and cracks it open, looking down as his feet take him to the stage. The sunlight dies, and as the last rays fall on the gleaming metal band inside the metal container, he pinches it in his finger and lifts it up to the orange. The silver winks at him, all mocking, and he shakes his head, looking down at the letters inside.

A thousand apologies, confessions, regrets, inked down in crazed ramblings as his body tried to heal from the battle in Shiganshina on a ship sailing back to Marley. Some written after that. Sometimes, he can barely even look at what he’s jotted down or else he’ll tear it to shreds.

Most of the time, though, he wants to give it to you. He thinks that’s what he clings to the most. The Candidates, and the chance to see you again, just to give what he wrote to you.

Shaking his head, he puts the ring back into the tin and closes it with a tight click before sliding it back into his breast pocket. In the distance, he can hear someone whistling a familiar tune, and he frowns, trying to place it.

He still has some time. He could try to find who’s whistling, or he could just get to the show early. 

It’s not like he’s exactly needed anywhere before hand.

Pricking his ears, he veers off the road and into an alleyway. 

.

Reiner and Bertholdt might be traitors. Maybe it’s both of them, a voice in your head murmurs as you ascend up the wall. 

Armin, why did you trust me to tell me about Annie?

Your shoulder and leg are screaming at you to stop moving, and the pull of the wires at your hips makes you feel like a million pounds as you manage to get to the top of the wall. Mikasa greets you there and you flash her a quick smile, one she returns faintly before procuring something out of her pocket.

Do you think I’m a traitor, too?

“My sling?”

“Put it back in before you lose all feeling in that arm.” You let out a relieved sigh as she helps you unbuckle your gear, and your hips feel like they’re melting at the relief. Sasha comes over as you clutch onto your shoulder. It feels inflamed and swollen under your gentle touch, and you wince as you bend your elbow, sharp pangs slicing through your joint.

“Here, let me help.” Sasha grabs your unequipped ODM gear as Mikasa pulls the sling over your neck and guides your arm through. Your limb feels like a pile of rocks, and you let it hang numbly in the bandage.

Maybe, I’m the weakest link.

“Thanks, guys. Really.” Mikasa only nods, patting you on your uninjured shoulder and you turn to see Eren pulling Reiner up the wall. The mere sight of him sends a shiver down your spine and you look away, clenching your jaw.

Him, a traitor?

Bertholdt gets to the top, climbing out all long-legged and lean, before helping Reiner ease down away from the ledge.

And Bertl? You, too?

Still, Hange’s orders echo in your mind and you remind yourself that nothing’s changed until it’s confirmed. Walking over to him, half-limping, you catch golden eyes and a half-smile. Cross legged, Reiner straightens up when he sees you and you feel a smile pulling at your own face.

What am I saying? How could I ever suspect them? They’d never betray us. We’re… we’re family. Maybe it’s all one big coincidence. Maybe Annie worked alone. That’s how it is, isn’t it? Annie works alone and I’m left hanging.

You wonder if this is why she never answered the letters you wrote to Stohess, asking how the MPs were. Reiner always said it was probably because she was busy. No. No. The more you think on it, the more the convoluted web in your head begins to straighten out and you shake your head.

“Hey.” You reach the boys as Bertholdt walks to the other side of the wall, leaning over with his hands on his knees as if calculating the distance, and his face is so innocently concentrated that you can’t help but stare, imagine him as that giant red Titan with soulless eyes. Electricty dances down your back. Deciding to leave him to his own devices, you slowly sink to a crouch beside Reiner as he reaches out to touch your shin.

“How’s the leg?”

“Been better.” Goosebumps rise along your arms and you swallow tightly. “We’ve got matching slings, now.”

Reiner smiles, and a soft, poisonous voice in your head crows, You never suspected Annie, and look what that got you. Civilians killed like sport.

Your blood chills. Everything feels so sluggish after the long night they’ve had, and they both look it. Your movements are dragged, like you’re swimming through honey as you reach out to touch his arm. He looks like hell’s beaten him up, and Bertholdt straightens up, sends him an uneasy look over his shoulder. Reiner’s flesh is warm through the bandages and a sick curiosity pricks at you.

If you’re really a traitor, you wonder to yourself, what would you do if I… 

You let your fingers push deeper against a mark you feel through the sling only for him to flinch back.

“Son of a bitch!”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry,” you whisper, hushed, and he sends you a scandalized look as Eren looks over his shoulder. “It seems bad.”

“You all right, Reiner?”

“Not by a long shot.” He covers his face with his hand, pain twisting his voice. “A Titan nearly gnawed off my arm. That was… pathetic. I thought I was done for.” Scooting closer, you rest your hand on his shoulder as his eyes slide shut. The words he says next sound like that of a soldier, and your eyebrows screw up as he talks mostly to himself. 

Sharing an uneasy glance with Eren and Armin, you try not to say anything until—

Second time? Second time you nearly died? It bounces off your skull until your mouth opens and the words tumble out before you can stop yourself.

“Annie almost… killed you?” you breathe. Reiner nods numbly, fist to his brow and you look down at the stone. “Reiner…”

Then, you can’t be a traitor, you try to reason quickly. Why would she kill her ally? 

But what about what Armin said? About how Reiner asked about Eren’s location? Carving it into her hand. He was always making excuses for Annie at every turn. For her skipping out on training, her being exhausted and sleeping in. No, this isn’t right. No, no, no—

And that realization only makes you nauseous as you sit back and stare at Reiner’s fractured expression. Reaching a shaking hand up to his face, your entire body freezes as his frenzied gaze stares right through you.

Reiner…

Stomach turning, you glance up at the tall boy who only looks more and more concerned with every passing second. He catches you looking and his eyes only widen even more almost guiltily. Jerking your gaze away, you press your lips into a thin line and look at the blond sitting before you. 

Bertholdt…

Someone calls them over your shoulder and you see it’s Connie. Getting up much too quickly with a groan, you send one last look at Armin and Eren out of the corner of your eye before walking over to the others unsteadily. Your entire body feels tilted, your legs struggling to push forward as if trying wade through thick sheets of ice, and even though Sasha bounds up to help you forward, you don’t think you have ever felt heavier.

What have you done?

With the quick update from Hannes and the unsettling revelation that there is no hole in the wall, you cannot stop your eyes from flitting to Bertholdt again.

He speaks to Reiner as they begin to walk away, and you fall into step beside Mikasa, your limp only more pronounced now that they realize this was all for nothing. The adrenaline is drained from your body, and your boots drag along stone as your shoulders fall forward.

Silent, Mikasa slows down her pace so you can keep up and you stifle your wince with every step as you look out the wall. 

The sky is as grey as ash. It looks like rain, soon. Not good if they have to fight in this weather, for their bodies or for their ODM gear. Visibility might be a near zero. 

Reaching up to cup your shoulder on instinct, you sigh.

“Is your leg okay?” Mikasa finally asks, stopping.

You nod. “It will be.” Glancing back at her, you frown when you realize you’ve walked on without her and turn to look over your shoulder, only to find her glancing back at Reiner, Eren, and Bertholdt. Eyes narrowing at the confused anger warping Eren’s face, a thousand weights slam down into your gut. Mikasa’s stare hardens and you walk back towards her, ears pricking. You can’t make out the words from where you stand with her, but you can read the tone, and by whatever Reiner’s saying, it’s making Bertholdt nervous.

Your spine goes ramrod straight, and suddenly, you wish you hadn’t taken your ODM gear off so early. Glancing back, you wonder if you can ask Sasha to strap you back in before you realize what you’re thinking and your limbs turn to lead.

No, you realize. It’s too late.

When you look back at the three again, a cold stone lodges right next to your heart, chilling you from the inside out.

“Hey, we’re leaving!” Armin calls, but you don’t budge. Neither does Mikasa. Eyes widening, you can only watch as Eren crosses his arms over his chest and tilts his head back. Mikasa’s hand moves to her hand grip, unholstering it and sinking it into a blade. The sound of metal scraping makes you blink as the wind begins to pick up. Something clicks. Your heart skips a beat.

Howling in your ears, your muscles lock Eren begins to walk back towards them, but your eyes stay on your best friends as the air seems to shift. It smells like static and iron and something bitter, too. The clouds drift speedily above them, and your boot shifts along stone just as one of the flags snaps in half, the wood splintering under the force of the beginnings of a storm.

Everything freezes.

The only sound is clattering wood against cobble and your rapid heart.

Then, against all odds, sunlight.

It’s blindingly white, streaming through the clouds that drift off in the current, and you swallow. You can hear something rattling and you know it’s Mikasa’s hand on her blades, fingers trembling against the triggers of her gear as gold spears through the dim grey, slamming into the wall and illuminating the stone. Your arm in its sling ways heavier by the second and you shift your forearm against the fabric, your hanging hand rolling into a tight fist.

Your eyes find Reiner’s back, staring as hard as you can, but he only hangs his head and you step forward against your will as his voice grows louder, more deranged. 

The coldness in your chest spreads.

It sinks deep into your muscles, bites into your bones with fangs of steel until you think you hear them break as he lifts the sling off his neck and turns around. 

“But the only choice for me now is to face the consequences of my actions.” Lifting his hand, you can see the blood begin to steam and your mouth drops open when it evaporates off his skin. “And as a Warrior, fulfill my duty to the bitter end.” The flesh begins to close, orange embers flecking off his forearm. Your knees lock.

“Reiner!” Bertholdt’s voice scratches with desperation—the sound of a horrified beast pulled out of its cave too early, too soon and all too against his will. A darkness overtakes his face, and it punctures you as Reiner flicks dried blood off his arm. “Are we doing this? Now? Right here?”

“We settle this… right here! Right now!” 

You force yourself to move, but still, you barely budge as Reiner stalks up to a paralyzed Eren, and you feel it more than see it as Mikasa takes off to a sprint, the sound of metal scraping against metal filling the air. She runs around him, slashing through his arms, blood spraying the stone in sickly splats. Lodging the blade through his forearm, there’s a ragged shout as she whirls around. 

Blood seems to fly everywhere as metal swings to cut Bertholdt down next.

You stand, entranced at the mere sight of it; red droplets splash through the air like the crystalline water in that fountain in Trost, years, no, months, weeks ago. The memory strikes through you like a bolt of lightning, and for a moment, you are not on Wall Rose but in a café sitting in the sun, watching children flicking coins into the water, waiting for someone you weren’t sure would come.

“What do you say to a game of twenty questions?”

“Sounds perfect, creampie. I promise, I’ll be perfectly honest.”

Bertholdt’s ragged wet screams jolt you back into your body, and for a moment that is all you see. Mikasa running towards him as he falls onto his back, clutching at his neck, the image growing clearer and clearer, bigger and bigger, as she pins him down with a boot to a shoulder and a sword in two hands, poised to plunge through his throat. Blood spreads over the floor as his gargled screams, wretched and raw, scratch the heavens.

It is then you move.

Your feet slap against the stone as you lift the sling off your neck and toss it aside. Heart pumping, ears roaring, you don’t recognize what you’re doing until your hands are on Mikasa’s shoulders and you’re wrenching her off with a force you cannot recognize you muster. A burning ignites in your chest, spreading through your entire body, engulfing your heart until it sputters out flames.

For a moment, there is nothing; no colour, no blood, no sound. Only pure instinct and your best friend about to die. 

“Bertholdt!”

Mikasa lets out a infuriated scream, blades flashing in the grey sunlight as she’s thrown back and you whirl around. Frozen over Bertholdt’s body, your eyes meet widened, bloodshot eyes and you whisper his name, fragile and full of broken glass just as the sound of footsteps patter behind you. Turning, you watch as Mikasa’s arms shoot forward, her knuckles white around the hilt of her sword.

Your thighs seize and Bertholdt’s hand lifts weakly, just barely brushing your shin. His lips are moving but you can barely make out a word. Is he speaking? You can’t hear over the blood flowing out of his mouth. “St-stop—“ 

Your heart beats in your head, once… twice… waiting for your legs to bolt into action, for Mikasa to see you.

But she isn’t stopping—not even if you stand in her way, she’ll cut around you if she can but in her eyes, you see it. The one question even you don’t know the answer of anymore.

TRAITOR? TRAITOR? TRAITOR? TRAITOR?

You’re shoved out of the way and blood flashes across your face, landing in warm, steaming droplets. 

Falling aside against hard stone, your ribs explode in pain as Mikasa’s eyes widen. Her sword sinks deeper through Reiner’s eviscerated arm and she jumps back, releasing the blade with sharp, vicious breaths.

You struggle to your feet. Crackling yellow light burns into your irises yet you can only look into Reiner’s eyes as he stares through you, face resolute. 

You think the sight will haunt you for the rest of your days as he only looks at you, as unfeeling as he ever has. Maybe more honest than he’s ever been.

“Reiner!“ You lunge forward but arms hook underneath your own, hauling you back and you kick out your feet as his name is torn from your chest. “Reiner, no!”

“Stay back,” he whispers harshly, turning away, and you struggle to your feet, boots sliding along the stone.

“No…” The word comes out so quietly you think he hears your heart shatter. “No… you—you can’t be—They can’t be right about you. They can’t. I know you! This isn’t you!“

And somewhere, lingering in the back of your mind, is his voice, promising you: “I’ll break you first.”

He doesn’t answer as the clouds begin to gather above them, and you hear Armin scream as your gaze tears to Bertholdt who only stares at you in guilt, regret, fear. Tears trace down his skin, and your hand reaches out for him as Mikasa wrenches you back one final time.

“No! Let me go!”

The other Scouts run towards them but there is nothing anyone can do as lightning spirals down onto the wall and cracks the stone, striking Reiner and Bertholdt. Wind howls in your ears until your skin is burning from the cold, and debris flies past your face. Steam erupts, burning away the numbness as chips of stone fly at your face. Throwing up your arms, you feel shards dig at your skin as hot steam swarms you. Scalded, you let out a piercing shout as you fly back, Mikasa’s arms only tightening around you as they’re flung off the wall.

Activating her ODM gear, she manages to catch them both and you let out a choked groan when you stop abruptly, your shoulder screaming, your body on fire.

Grabbing the arm firmly around your waist, you plant your feet into the wall and look up as ribs sprout from thin air and dig into stone, cracking it easily. Your eyes begin to sting, from tears or from pain, you don’t know. A huge shape appears out of the steam that sears your face. 

Head swimming, you watch numbly as the blistering gales force them into stillness and the giant figure with glowing yellow eyes reaches for Eren.

.

Brushing the itch off your cheek, you adjust your grip on the sack of apples when you see Sasha standing there, packing her bag and you stop when she calls your name, watching for a moment.

“Hey.” 

“Hi,” you reply unsurely. You glance at the stables where you’re supposed to go to make sure your new steed is rested and well fed for their expedition. The past three months have passed in a strange sort of blur for you—whether it’s going to sleep late or waking up when the sun barely rises, sometimes both—you can’t recall ever being so alone. You don’t even remember the last time you spoke to any of your comrades outside of missions. Ever since the coup on the government, you’ve stayed out of the way. You helped mine the crystals from the Reiss Chapel cave, trained with the new Scout recruits, but you didn’t want to go out of your way to talk to them. 

After all, what is there to say? You saved Bertholdt’s life back on the Wall. Even if now it means his powers can be transferred, you hadn’t know that back then. You just didn’t want him to die.

 The blood of the Scouts lost getting back Eren is on your hands.

“Good luck on the mission,” Sasha says at length. You nod. “You could sit with us at the feast tonight.” Lips pulling back, you give her a fake smile. “We miss you.”

“Uh, no thanks, I’m not going,” you tell her. Sasha’s face falls and you look away, eyes fixing on the ground. “I don’t want to put a damper on your guys’ fun. Besides, I have some last minute preparation to do.“

“That’s a lie,” Sasha blurts, and your eyes snap to hers, but her eyebrows are arranged fiercely on her face, a warm determination burning in her eyes. “You’re acting just like you did when you first came to the cadet corps—we’re not strangers, you know? We don’t hate you.”

Your fingers tighten on the sack of apples you have in your hands. “Thanks, Sasha. That’s really nice of you, but I really have stuff to do.”

What you don’t say is that you find that hard to believe. With every waking second, you’re reminded of everything that’s happened. Preparing for the return of Shiganshina had only prompted another round of interrogative looks, whispers behind your back. You suppose you deserve it. Three years, and you’d been the closest to all three of them. What’s to stop you from being a fourth traitor?

There’s coincidence and then there’s correlation, and you’re more than aware of which side you fall on.

“It’s hard to kill your friends. We’re still with you. We understand—“

“I have to kill my family, Sasha. That’s who they are to me,” you murmur stonily, and Sasha’s eyes widen as you meet her gaze wretchedly. “I don’t want to go to the feast, but thanks for inviting me.” Again, quieter, softer, you tell her, “It was really nice of you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

You turn to walk into the stables, and you find your horse near the back-middle in the right row of stalls. Horses lift their heads at your approach, and you sigh. This has always been a quiet place for you—horses don’t judge nearly as much as humans do. One of the steeds near the front nudges at your shoulder, and you smile to yourself, retrieving an apple for the stallion before moving on to your own horse.

A pretty dappled grey mare, she nickers at your approach and you reach up to scratch her ear before running your hand down her nose, stroking at the dark grey specks between wide black eyes. Leaning forward, you kiss her snout and she huffs against your cheek.

“Alright, alright.” Reaching into your bag, you retrieve another apple and she lips at the fruit before taking a bite and you smile when she drops it to the ground by your feet, a huge chunk taken out the side. Bending over to pick it up, pangs collide with your chest when you see the juices dripping over the bright red peel.

The sound of hooves against the dirt catch your attention, and you look up, picking up the apple and straightening up again. As soon as you spot black, you already know whose horse it is.

“Captain Levi.” You dip your head to your superior as he passes you, leading his black steed back into the stall next to yours, and he only gives you a brief surveying look. You feed the apple back to your mare.

“I heard you were visting Leonhart earlier today,” he says, pulling the door open and his horse walks in dutifully, turning around so Levi can take the harnesses off.  

Dipping your head, you hold the back tight in one fist and reach to cup your horse’s cheek, stroking the underside of her jaw to her delight. “Yes, sir.”

“She crack?”

“No, sir.”

He hums, as if he expected as much. Your shoulders drop. You know you shouldn’t relax, around Captain Levi especially, but the first month after the revelation of Reiner and Bertholdt had left the captain as your principal babysitter just to make sure nothing was out of sorts with you. 

It meant you had to sleep in separate quarters as the rest of the Scouts, was on Levi’s beck and call with tea, medicine, food, whatever he needed while in the office or otherwise. You had to force him to sleep a couple of times, and although you weren’t in the mood to be persistent, it still nagged at you until the month was up and Levi told you to stop following him.

“I could read out the report I wrote to Erwin for you, if you’d like,” he had said dryly. “Quiet, keeps to herself. Complies nearly to a fault—a model officer of the Survey Corps. Which is what you are. You’re not a caretaker or an administrative assistant. Now stop taling me like a lost duckling and get to work.”

You shake your head and sigh, extending the bag to Levi. “Does he want an apple, sir?” He eyes the bag apprehensively before taking it, pulling the bag open and extracting another gorgeous red apple. Lifting it to his horse, he hands the bag back to you as your horse nestles her head against your chin and you smile to yourself at the warmth emanating from her. 

She must be able to sense whatever’s off about you. Holding her head close, you kiss her quickly before stepping back but she lets out an impatient whinny, neck stretching to bump her nose against your cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you whisper. “Get some sleep, girl.” Scratching underneath her chin, you turn to look at Captain Levi who eyes you for a moment, then gestures for you to follow to the back where the tack room is.

“I know what the stakes are for you, but you’re not the only one who is putting everything on the line here,” he says and you nod as he hangs up the leather harness before washing his hands. “Whatever happens, happens. We don’t have time to dissect your guilt over tea anymore.”

“With all respect, Captain, I just don’t think it’s wise for me to come.”

“Commander Erwin thinks differently.” You nod again and Levi meets your stare, flinging off the wet on his hands before grabbing a clean towel and wiping himself off. “We need all the soldiers we can get to reclaim Shiganshina for humanity. That includes you—no matter what your ties are to the enemy. You aren’t having doubts, are you?”

“No, sir.” You swallow, throat bruised. “I’m just scared the moment I look into their eyes, I’ll hesitate. And it’s not because they’re humans,” you add quickly. “Had my fair share of human bloodshed during the coup, but I should be angry, right? I should be so fucking mad, and I think I am, but mostly, I just want them back. There has to be something wrong with me.”

“I’m not here to psychoanalyze you,” he tells you. “But nothing’s wrong with you. You’re probably more sane than most idiots who join the Survey Corps.” Eyes widening, you meet Levi’s impassive stare, but he only continues, “Get something to eat tonight, then get some sleep. This is your nerves talking.”

“Yes, sir.”

With that, he nods to you once more before hanging the towel up and walking past, out the stables. Looking down, your eyes find the sack of apples still in your hand and you lift it up, peering inside. Taking one out, you set the bag inside and head over to the sink nearby, washing the fruit off before looking up at the mirror hanging on the wall.

Closing your eyes, you take a bite and the sweet juices explode in your mouth. Smiling faintly to yourself, you can almost imagine a pair of lips teasing at the corner of your mouth and your heart aches when you realize you can barely remember what it’s like to kiss him.

[there-will-be-a-way]

hey i was wondering - i saw the post about structured days and one of our therapy goals is to eventually hit that point, how long did it take in therapy to get to that point + do you have any tips?

Hi!! 💙

I was diagnosed with DID six years ago and am now at a point where most of the time I can structure my days well. 👍🏻 I was only in therapy for a portion of that time though. Two years, I think. Everyone learns things in their own time though, so it's perfectly fine if you're quicker to reach that goal or if it takes you longer. 💙

The first step to structuring my days is always planning everything that needs to get done. Then I decide how to use my free time. It's also very important to me to be serious about my sleep schedule meaning I get up and go to bed at the same time every single day. 💙 (Sometimes I fail but that's okay. ✌🏻) I learned that having a routine is super helpful with managing switching, because after some time parts get used to it and learn when it's a good time for them to be present and when they'd rather stay inside. To give you an example, here's what my days look like:

8am: waking up - and if I feel unmotivated to start the day, do a quick morning meditation

8:20: take care of the horses

9: breakfast 🙏🏻

9:30: check my messages and reply to friends (my social parts know to be present then ^^)

10:30: chores (my everyday life parts learned to be around for this chunk of the day 💙)

12pm: lunch

12-1pm: Writing (aka Aiden time)

1-3: nap lol (time for exhausted parts to rest)

3-5: free time

5: take care of the horses

6: workout - and on rest days gentle movement like going for walks or roller skating (so my exercise loving parts like to show up for this 👍🏻)

7:30: dinner

8pm-2am: free time

As you can see, I do a wide variety of things everyday that already make a lot of my parts happy. The two chunks of free time is what we fight for. 🙌🏻 Usually we take turns. If Aiden had like 10 whole chunks of free time in a row to write (which happens so often lol), we make room for the gaming loving parts to play whatever they want to for an hour or two. Or we give one small chunk to someone who likes to watch YouTube videos.

First thing I think you gotta do if you want to make sure all of your parts are happy with your daily structure is figure out the needs of your parts and then incooperate them into your days. Needs can look like rest, fun, movement, learning, social activities, spiritual practices etc.. You learn about these needs by building communication with parts and getting to know them. The more needs you fulfill everyday the, the happier and more content you will be (in my experience).

In my opinion it's super important to still have your overall life goals be the number 1 priority when it comes to planning days though. It's easy to get lost in everyone's wishes, so I consciously focus on what brings us all forward and you can see that in my planning. Like how fitness is so important to me (because my life goal is to be invincible ngl) and writing (I want to make an income as an author before I turn 30). So the evening chunk of free time more often than not goes to writing because of how I prioritize things. 💙

It's a lot of trial and error tbh. Took me years to build this routine and some days I still mess up. Don't want to do chores. Am on social media for far too long. But the most important thing is to try again and again to get your life in order.

Okay that was super rambly. My brain is soup right now. 🥴 I hope it was still at least somewhat helpful. If you have more questions, let me know. 💙

[Disclaimer: I'm just some dude talking from their personal experience so take everything I say with a grain of salt 💙💙]