#like i literally feel like i need to call someone’s therapist and tell on them or something

[0uroboring]

.

[creekfiend]

I wanted to make a bonsai kitten recovery post that outlines some of the stuff that I've been doing. Because I don't think that you need to ✨see a therapist✨ to start dealing with a lot of this stuff and I get really frustrated when that is the answer that everyone is constantly giving. Firstly a disclaimer, because I know what website I am on: this is a guide for things that have worked for me! I am not everyone and if there are things on here that do not work for you or even that you think are stupid, that is fine, but please do not make it my problem. If you are reading it and you're like "that sounds like it would actually be detrimental to my specific mental health because of my specific issues" then please disregard it. Use your critical thinking skills and do what you think is right for you!

My second disclaimer is that I didn't make any of this up myself; most of these are collected from various places either in therapeutic guide books or various websites about emotional regulation etc. Some of it is stuff that I have extrapolated from those places based on experience with what works for me or does not work for me. A lot of the way that I treat myself when I need to get my body and brain into a place where I can think about stuff productively is actually directly from gentle parenting guides, because frankly cptsd recovery stuff is very often like parenting a toddler. And the toddler is you. ALL THAT SAID,

The first skill that I had to get good at, that many of the other skills depend on, is to learn how to understand when I am Reacting to something. If I am Reacting it is extremely likely that that's going to only escalate the situation and make it much worse. I HAVE to be able to tell if I am Reacting emotionally to something in a way that is coming from a place of fear and panic. This is important because it involves not being prescriptive about your emotions. You could be Reacting to something that you do not logically feel is at all justified in making you feel that way and that doesn't matter! You can't be doing math equations to try to come to the answer of how you SHOULD be feeling; you have to be observing your mind and body to see how you factually ARE feeling and then respond to THAT. This can be really hard to learn how to do especially if you were abused as a child. (If you cannot think of yourself as someone who is abused as a child perhaps it would help to think of yourself as someone who simply was not taught various emotional regulation skills for mysterious reasons that have nothing to do with your parents' inadequacies.) I need to be able to glance inward and see what the physiological reaction that I'm having is and identify whether or not I feel like this is the biggest emergency in the world that needs to be addressed right now immediately! That is a sure sign that Mr Fight and Mr Flight are in the building and it is bad to make declarative statements or important decisions when that is the case. So, I have to work on dismissing them first. That is literally the first step to any of this. One of my friends calls this "fire mittens," which is to say, if you are wearing mittens that are on fire and you try to touch stuff, the stuff will also become on fire. You have to put the fire out first before you can touch other things.

Once I have determined that I am indeed Reacting and in a physiological state of fear, I have a document in my notes app that is a "what to do when you are in fight or flight mode" guide and it has several helpful things that I will try to outline here.

Firstly, the really important thing for me for trying to get back into an emotional state where I'm capable of making decisions and being thoughtful is to feel safe and comfortable. So I actually have some stuff in my document that is straight up just like "go in the blankie nest. put on this specific music album. light this specific scented candle." etc. You might want to have a specific food or drink that is comforting to you or some other sort of stim toy that helps you regulate. If there's any calming medication or supplements for anxiety that you take as needed, now is also the time to do that. Physical sensory grounding is really important for this. This is probably especially true if, like me, you are neurodivergent, but I think it is also true for everyone because we are animals! And you can't just think about it, you have to actually do it. Which sounds obvious but is the thing that has often tripped me up in the past. Once you start getting into the habit of actually physically doing this it DOES become easier though.

One of my rules is that if I want to respond to something but I am in fight or flight mode, I don't get to respond to it for at least 24 hours. I'm only allowed to respond once I've gotten myself out of fear mode. If it is some kind of comment on Facebook that has set me off, often this means that 24 hours later I realize that I actually don't want to get into it to begin with, which is great. If it's something that is pretty serious and interpersonal with a friend, sometimes that means I have to communicate to them that I'm going to take a while to process it and then get back to them. IMPORTANT: You CANNOT do this passive aggressively or else it undermines the whole thing. You can't phrase it in a way that will make your friends think that you are guilt tripping them for "making" you feel a way. It is VERY tempting to do this when you are in the first stages of trying to form this habit and you simply need to resist the urge because it will render this step worthless. I know. It sucks.

If I am feeling fearful and insecure about friends or loved ones, I also usually try to spend some time thinking about the people that I love and care about. Because often this stuff manifest for me as insecurity that the people that I care about do not care about me, or that they think that I'm being annoying, or that they are secretly thinking mean things about me. It's obviously not good for me to constantly be imagining that the people in my life who I care about are actually avatars of my own insecurity who are here to tell me that I'm secretly fundamentally unlovable! But crucially also it's ALSO not fair to those people to imagine them as that. They are not that guy, they are their own complex human beings with their own lives and experiences and interiority. So sometimes I do thought exercises where I will imagine my friends or loved ones doing things in their everyday lives and I will think about them as people and I will think about the things that they like to do and the things that they say and the places that they go, and I will try to imagine them fondly in those circumstances. This helps to remind me that they are just people and that the scary puppet wearing their faces is not real. To this end I sometimes will have a document of screenshots of things that they have said to me that I can use to reality check myself. I personally find reality checks to be essential for a lot of this. Things can feel true when they are not true at all. Things can feel wrong when they are actually true. The point of most of these exercises is to gently remind myself that those feelings are normal for me to be having, but that I do not need to let them dictate my responses.

It is crucial throughout all of this that you are nice to yourself. You can't talk to yourself in a mean way while you're doing this, or you will not get to a point where you are feeling safe enough to react from a place of not-fear. You can't make yourself feel ashamed or defensive for your emotional reactions. This is the particular area where I find gentle parenting protocols helpful. You HAVE to be patient with yourself.

Ok that's all for now bc I ran out of steam but I will try to think of more to add on another day maybe. Godspeed everyone

[snifferish]

Never in my life did I think that re-tweeting resources for SA, and supporting victims would be considered problematic or performative.

I should not have to bare this, but I'm going to tell just one of my stories, because I need you to understand where I'm coming from. TW // Sexual Harassment

--

When I was 15, I had my wisdom teeth removed. I wanted to avoid using the pain medication they prescribed. I struggle a lot with sensory issues, medications and substances made it worse.

However, my surgery was for impacted teeth, and only two days in one of my stitches fell out. I was in so much pain, and couldn't eat solids w/ out pain for up to three weeks.

So, a week into my recovery, one of my friends invites me to their house. They were having our friend group over, it was just a little bonfire get together kinda thing. I took my pain meds a few hours prior, and only half a dose, but I was out of it to some degree, and somehow still in pain.

I was sitting on a lawn chair outside, when one of my close friends came over and asked to sit on my lap. Honestly, I said yes at first, because this was my childhood friend, someone I trusted, and I thought our relationship was incredibly platonic. Then he started to shift/grind about in my lap, and I started to feel things of theirs I did not want to. They made a noise that deeply unsettled me, and I told him to get off, they didn't. It was only when I told them that he accidently triggered the emergency call shortcut on my phone (it was in the pocket of the lawn chair, yes they were moving that much and I was moving trying to push him off) that he finally got up.

I was bewildered, and a bit confused, and also embarrassed that my phone nearly called 911. I claimed I wasn't feeling well, and went home early.

That was the first time someone touched me in a remotely sexual way, but I didn't dare to label it until I talked to my therapist. It made me dwell on a lot of experiences with this person as well. How obsessed they were with being taller than me, how often they'd grab me and force me to see if they were stronger than me. At the time, I was in a friend group of predominately non-men, and they were all friends with this person.

However, when I told them about this, when I expressed the discomfort it brought me. I was brushed off. "He's just like that!" oh "He probably didn't mean it" etc.

I didn't feel comfortable in the same room as this person. My friends would continue to invite them to hang outs. One of my other friends told everyone about what happened without my permission. I started having breakdowns in my classes with him. I had panic attacks all the time. I felt as if I had to continue this façade of being nice to him, or else I would lose my friends of years and years.

I was happy when covid started, because for the first time I had breathing room, but by then so much of my trust was dismantled.

Due to my friends association with this person, and the fact that not being their friend excluded me. I eventually got over it, and told myself I'd grown past it.

Three months ago, this same person admitted to me they hold extreme grudges against me, that they projected their "mommy issues" on to me, and quite literally said the words, "Yeah yeah, you're a woman who's outspoken and challenged me and that bothers me yeah yeah." in regards to that. They said it with sarcasm, like it was something they knew, and their mother was reminding them for the 12th time.

--

I bring this all up, not to make you feel guilty, but to discuss the harm of not supporting victims, not listening to them. It puts them in a position of isolation, and in a position to potentially be hurt again.

So yeah, I'm gonna be a little upset when people say I'm being "performative" about supporting victims of sexual harassment and SA. I'm not doing this because it benefits me, in fact it's caused a lot of backlash, horrible dms, and very triggering memories.

I'm doing it because I was once not heard, and i've sat with Caiti behind the scenes for months watching her lose passion for something she loved (content creation).

I didn't do this because I'm secretly sniveling behind the scenes tapping my fingers praying on peoples downfall. I'm not a Disney villain dude lmfao.

Honestly, this narrative that is being pushed, that people are doing it "because it benefits them" is quite ironic, considering most of the people talked about within the last 72 hours were under Wilbur's weird ass apology doing just that.

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I hate how people are okay with this narrative, the misogynist undertones of it. I've seen people admit that they didn't like me or my friends the entire time, while simultaneously "calling us out" about this, so I ask you,

Are you calling us? Because it benefits your motives? Your feelings?

[fantazygirl-blog1]

So tired of everyone (or almost everyone) making Misa into a kind, weak little victim, manipulated by Light.

That woman may seem sweet, but she's absolutely ruthless. She's selfish, obsessive, stalkerish and emotionally abusive (perhaps not in the traditional way but I will explain)

Way before she even met Light, she managed to kill law enforcement (which might I add, she probably didn't even know was law enforcement) and news reporters just to prove a point. They were just a means to an end to her. She wanted to thank Kira for killing her parent's murderer, but she didn't even stop to think once if the people she killed had families of their own, children of their own. She only had one goal: what she herself, wanted. More than that, Misa literally offered to immediately off her friend, that helped her with the tapes (and if someone offers to help you with that, they're a very close friend for sure) and it wasn't even Light's suggestion. It was all Misa, who saw killing her friend as a way to get Light to trust her. It's clear that girl is willing to kill anyone and anything if it'll help her achieve her goals.

Also, she's super obsessive. My girl traded half her lifespan with no hesitation on the off chance that she might be able to meet Kira. (Yes, she had a plan but there was no guarantee that her plan would even work)And the instant she saw Light, she started stalking him (even though she herself had problems with stalkers) to the point that she just turned up at his house with no warning. Imagine if a stranger just shows up at your house like that, pretending to be a friend and your mom lets them in. That's fucking horrifying.

Also, Misa barely knew Light for like a few seconds and she decided that he was going to be her boyfriend, and NOTHING was going to stay in her way, not even Light himself. She pressured him into being in a relationship with her, even though it was clearly unwanted, Rem literally threatened to kill him if he refused, and then she had the gall to tell Light she would kill any girl she suspected would go out with Light if she saw her with him. This is where the emotional abuse comes from (even though I dunno if I should call it that but I don't know how else to classify it). Misa doesn't really consider Light a person. For her, Light is more like a doll she can project her feelings on. She attributed him emotions according to her whims and acted like those were the reality regardless of Light's real feelings. She made herself the main character in his story, even after told and shown repeatedly tha she wasn't and got mad when years later she was still neglected and barely paid attention to.

I'm not saying all this to hate on Misa and this in no way a Kira appreciation post (my favorite Light is Yotsuba arc Light, I hate Kira tbh) but I'm just saying, if you're a Misa fan you should be able to accept the reality: she's not a weak, sweet little girl, manipulated by evil Light. She's capable of all the horrible things she does all on her own thank you very much and I'm tired of reading fics where Misa is treated like only a victim and given leniency while Light is treated as the only true monster.

I'm just saying, the girl didn't need a boyfriend, she needed a therapist. Badly.

[cartierre]

AMOUR ROSE | cl16

SOCIAL MEDIA!AU charles leclerc x fem!reader (fc: pasabist on ig)

♡ liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 293,094 others

yourusername filling up my vitamin d tank in portugal ❦

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user1 someone explain to me how this girl is dating charles ⤷ user2 she's way out of his league

charles_leclerc mon bijou (my jewel), no one compares to your beauty! ⤷ yourusername charles stop i'm already turning red

charles_leclerc i cannot believe how blessed i've been with you in my life, i'm going crazy over you ⤷ yourusername you're so overdramatic...

user3 y/n being absolutely flustered because of charles' comments is so real of her ⤷ user4 even i'm blushing because of his compliments ⤷ user5 idk if i should be jealous because she's dating charles or because he keeps being the sweetest boyfriend

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tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername bye bye vacation ☀️

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user6 i want what they have ⤷ user7 every night i manifest this exact life

charles_leclerc mon soleil (my sun), your smile brightens up my day ⤷ yourusername careful or you'll get a sunburn ⤷ charles_leclerc i'd gratefully accept every sunburn if it means seeing your smile every day

user8 i hate charles for raising the bar so high with every comment he leaves under her posts ⤷ user9 god has his favourites and she's one of them fr

♡ liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc and 193,304 others

tagged: yourusername

voguesingapore Let the elegance of #Y/N enchant us all. A rising star on various social media platforms, Y/N Y/L/N has enjoyed a big following, especially on Instagram. She's currently dating Formula One driver Charles Leclerc and opens up about the life as an F1 WAG and her life in the spotlight in our September Issue 2022.

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yourusername it feels like a dream come true! i'm still speechless this is really happening... ⤷ charles_leclerc you deserve for all your dreams to come true mon amour (my love)

user10 so we're celebrating people who have achieved nothing on their own now? ⤷ user11 she had a pretty big following even before she started dating charles ⤷ user12 yeah but like.... why? just because she's pretty? ⤷ user13 that's literally how most people became influencers on social media

user14 she's so otherwordly pretty

user15 she looks so ethereal. elegance perfectly describes her

♡ liked by charles_leclerc, yourbestfriend and 293,495 others

tagged: yourbestfriend

yourusername charles loves to spoil me on my birthday even if he cannot be here right now

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user16 i need to call my therapist because i cannot anymore ⤷ user17 charles spoiling y/n and her friends because of her birthday really confirms the "if he wanted to he would" saying

charles_leclerc the pink hair is going to be the death of me mon coeur (my heart) ⤷ yourusername my face is as pink as my hair right now

user18 wow and my boyfriend couldn't even text me a "happy birthday" on my birthday morning... ⤷ user19 not everyone can be as sweet as charles leclerc

user20 she's so spoiled oml

user21 you're telling me she rather celebrates her birthday with her friends than support charles in zandvoort? ⤷ user22 some people love to hate on every little thing...

♡ liked by yourusername, pierregasly, carlossainz55 and 402,187 others

tagged: yourusername

charles_leclerc mon ange rose me rend fou... bon anniversaire ma chère (my pink angel is driving me insane... happy birthday my dear)

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user23 oh he whipped whipped

user24 charles being absolutely head over heels for y/n is what i aspire in my future relationship

yourusername you're too adorable charles, je t'aime (i love you) ⤷ charles_leclerc je t'aime davantage (i love you more) ⤷ yourusername impossible! ⤷ charles_leclerc yes possible!

user25 i need to take a break from charles' and y/n's profiles because their comments keep destoying me

user26 they made me believe in love again ⤷ user27 if they ever break up, i'll be a two times child of divorce

[sugardolle]

my new routine to life. 💋

how i get everything i want + succeed. 🎀

first off i don’t use subliminals neither do i participate in affirmation challenges. i use to but i grew to feel that it’s unnecessary. on my account you won’t see neither of those.

i know about affirmations, i know about non dualism, i know about states. however something about all of this did not sit right with me idc, my brain didn’t like it. all of this information and you’re bound to be confused especially with the arguments about what and what, literally for weeks. people take “do what works for you” for granted.

i didn’t throw all of these ideas and concepts away however i shaped tf out of them to fit what feels right with me, and that’s what a lot of people don’t do, hence all of these arguments for no reason ! a bunch of mad people and for what.

a @/nazdoll.e original post ( insta ).

ONE ) i know that what i want will show up for me now or what society called the future. time doesn’t exists to me, my future is my present and so is my past. manifesting on a time crunch doesn’t exist either in my book. because if i already had it, is it really a time crunch? you can’t want something so bad for it just to not show up. when you know you have this much power, whatever you want can’t not show up for you. it’s bound to at this point.

TWO ) when something isn't 'showing' up, it isn't because of me. because i know once i become aware that this thing exist in my life at some point of "time." knowing time does NOT exist. it exists now. i can easily decide on when to have it. just because i became aware of that fact. and for two; the 4D & 3D are the same exact thing. they can't exist separately it's one complete thing. so whatever it is that i want it has no choice but to show up.

THREE ) i can't fix a broken person, i'm not their momma nor a therapist. i feel like a lot of ppl should hear this! i will never take my train of thought, etc., to 'manifest' back dirt ass people !when i can use that energy to put a better person into my life that didn't fuck me over the first time. cause friendship wise i thought about it before but i thought to myself do i need this past energy in my life again?' like nooo. it’s a fresh breath of air manifesting someone new and i find it more comfortable and easier. i’m too good to do myself dirty.

FOUR ) life is effortless once you know you have zero limits, and become aware that you are in control of your own limits ! i promise just sit down one day & close your eyes and become aware of the fact that you can control the limit(s) that you think you have. you can literally erase it.

FIVE ) my mindset has no labels. if it seems correct to me, i will take this and that and follow it. what most of us need to do is relearn and go back to the "basics". the first thing we learned that got us to wherever we are now. it helped me so much, and got rid of any clutter in my mind.. with the information i have, i know i got hella options and so it was just a big spot of ink in my mind. i threw away some stuff and kept some.

i’m now one of those one people who just write down what they want and decide that i have it. fuck a state, fuck an affirmation, that’s literally how it is. obviously i’m educated about those things but i don’t take up all of my time trying to “get in a state” or “how long should i saturated for?”

if you can’t be a spoiled brat about what you want then i don’t know what to tell you. because that’s what it basically it is. 🎀

signing off — vixendolle ( kaydolle ). 🍭 ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ ʚɞ ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

[reidreaders]

I Love You?

Summary: You aren't totally sure of your feelings about Spencer, at least not until you both attend JJ's wedding.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: descriptions of unhealthy relationships, some colorful language (literally just one swear word), kissing, established relationship, not proof read, I think that's it, let me know if I missed anything!

A/N: this is entirely self indulgent because I'm obsessed with Spencer with kids, and also I hate most men but I just know Spencer would be the perfect bf. Also, this is totally inspired by 7x24.

Let’s be honest. You’ve had your heart broken more times than you could count. Your type seemed to be cheaters, liars, manipulators, and the like. As your mother would say, your picker was broken. That is until you met Spencer. When you met, you had sworn off of men. You were tired of begging them to do the bare minimum. All that to say, you were wary of him. He seemed nice enough, all awkward and nervous, sputtering at you like he had never spoken to a woman before. You found it endearing and honestly, you kind of liked the idea of someone who didn’t have much experience with women. It made him seem less likely to treat you the way your exes had. So, despite your vow of not dating, Spencer became your boyfriend.

Six months in and were still wary of him. Your therapist says you have “commitment issues” and to be honest she was right. You had no problem dating Spencer, no problem spending the night at his house or meeting his friends, you had no problem having sex or even meeting his mother. You just got a little freaked out when it came to taking the relationship to the next step. For example, four months into your relationship, Spencer told you that he loved you. That had freaked you out more than anything. You didn’t want to break his heart, but you also wanted to protect your own. It’s not that you didn’t have feelings for Spencer, you did, big ones, it’s just that your past relationships had made you scared to feel that way about anyone again. Spencer, of course, understood. The two of you agreed to take things slow, to wait until you felt secure, but you could tell Spencer was getting impatient. He needed more from you. You could tell that you were going to have to make your move soon or you would lose him, and that scared you more than anything. Still, you wanted to be sure, you had to be sure. 

Rossi had called a few days ago and told Spencer that he was throwing a surprise wedding for JJ and Will, and he wanted you both to be there. As you got ready for the wedding, you felt nervous. Surely being at a wedding, with all the love in the air or whatever, would make Spencer even more anxious for a commitment. 

Soon the knock on your door alerted you to Spencer’s presence. You didn’t bother to move from your spot in the bathroom, putting the finishing touches on your makeup. He had a key to your apartment and you knew he’d just come in. Out of your peripheral vision you saw a mop of curly brown hair and felt a set of hands on your waist. 

“Hey.” He whispered into your ear. The sound of his voice was enough to send shivers down your spine. You spun around to face him.

“Wow,” He said, taking a step back to see all of you, “You look incredible.”

“Well thank you,” You smirked, pulling away to do a spin so he could see the way your dress moved. He grinned as pulled you back in for a kiss, slow and passionate. As you kissed him, you felt fireworks, like the kind they talked about in overplayed pop songs. Holy shit. Were you in love with him? 

As soon as you arrived at Rossi’s mansion (he’d kill you if he heard you call it merely a house), you had been whisked away by Penelope and Emily, wanting to catch up after not having seen each other for a while. The three of you talked, well gossiped is more like it, over a couple glasses of wine. Your attention was pulled from the conversation when you heard the excited screams of children. You turned around to see Spencer, pulling a coin out of Henry’s ear, as Jack begged him to do the trick on him next. You watched as he did, eliciting the same excited scream from Jack as it had in Henry. You watched as he did card tricks for them with a deck of poker cards he had found in Rossi’s junk drawer. But most of all, you watched how he looked at the kids, like they were the greatest things ever put on this Earth. He was so happy in this moment, really, genuinely happy. The first thought that crossed your mind was, ‘he would make such a good father’, and then it was over for you. You started picturing Spencer playing like that with your kids while you cooked dinner, you thought about what he might be like while you were at the hospital in labor. You thought about what kind of house you might live in, maybe something in the suburbs? You thought about what kind of dress you would wear on your wedding day and what colors the bridesmaids would wear. You thought about how’d he tear up seeing you come down the aisle. And that was the moment you knew, the moment you were really sure, that you were hopelessly in love with Spencer. 

As you sat next to Spencer at the ceremony, you were nearly crying. You couldn’t stop thinking about the sudden realization that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with him. You wanted to marry him and have his babies. You figured no one would really notice your crying, it was pretty common to cry at weddings after all. But Spencer noticed. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it, trying to get your attention. You turned your head to meet his eyes and he mouthed a subtle “You okay?”. You nodded and turned back to watch JJ and Will say their vows, but that simple act of checking in on you made you feel something you had never felt before. Sure you had been in love before, but Spencer made you feel safe. In that moment, you knew that all the crying and heartbreak was over for you, because you had him. 

The reception was now in full swing. Everyone had a couple of drinks in them, and you were being dragged onto the dance floor by a fairly intoxicated Agent Rossi. After a couple of songs, you shot Spencer a look that said “Help me” and you knew he’d come to your rescue, even though he was much for dancing. 

“Sorry Rossi, but I think it’s my turn,” He said as he took your hand and escorted you to a more desolate part of the dance floor. As the two of you began to sway, the DJ played “Lover” by Taylor Swift. You usually weren’t into the typical wedding songs, but all of the sudden you understood. You understood Taylor Swift in a way you never had before. You looked up at Spencer and saw nothing but love in his big, brown eyes. 

You took a deep breath, “I love you.” You said it so quietly you weren’t sure he had heard it. Before you could confirm whether or not he had, his hands were on your face and your lips were crashing into his, for a deep and passionate kiss. 

The two of you stayed like that for while, only to be snapped back into reality by Morgan making kissy sounds and yelling at Spencer to stop trying to swallow you. You both laughed, your lips still touching. 

You pulled away and Spencer was beaming. You had never seen him smile that big. 

“I love you, too,” He said, “But you already knew that.”

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed and if have any ideas, requests, whatever, don't be scared to send them my way!

MASTERLIST

[live-laugh-legolas]

FOR UR FELLOWSHIP REQUEST THING maybe the fellowship with an depressed reader? like how each of them would treat the reader (i wanted to go for su1c1d@l but idk if ur chill with it(ONLY IF U WANNA))

Remember that you are not alone so please reach out for help. There are hotlines to call/text if you are struggling, suicidal, or in a crisis

My messages are always open if you want to talk but I am no replacement for professional help and support of your loved ones

The fellowship x depressed!reader

Aragorn:

-He recognizes the signs quickly

-I imagine he’s had his bouts of depression

-He definitely takes a very gentle approach

-Offering a shoulder and an ear

-He’s kinda an unpaid and unlicensed therapist

-He gives lots of tips on how to keep going in your daily life

-For some people depression is kind of a way of life; you have to learn to live with it

Legolas:

-He doesn’t fully understand at first

-To elves, depression is really only experienced after loss

-So to have it chronically is a new concept to him

-He’s remorseful that you feel so low and he knows there isn’t much he can do

-But he will try

-He will force you to get up and out of bed, even if he has to throw you over his shoulder to get you some fresh air

-He will constantly point out little beautiful things to be grateful for; little joys

-Maybe it’s the smell of dawn or crunchy fall leaves

-Or maybe it’s him; he is very insistent that you would miss him most

Gimli:

-I literally love this dwarf so much; he would be such a cutie that you can’t help but smile at him

-Like he is so gentle and patient with you; which is saying something because dwarves are not patient beings

-He isn’t someone who will beat around the bush though; he will very bluntly tell you your worth and why he and everyone else needs and wants you around

-He gets you involved in anything he can

-If it against your will? Maybe

-But I’ve found I sometimes end up feeling a little better and enjoy the time out even after I’ve bitched about it and my friend had to drag me out of the house by my hair

Boromir:

-Big brother mode is always active so he picks up on your subtle changes very fast

-Maybe even before you do

-He will tell you stuff like “even if you can’t, you must”

-Wether or not you find that helpful or not; just know he’s trying

-His experience with depression is seeing it with his soldiers

-And that’s the sort of thing he tells them so he just kinda hopes can be applied to you

-He is very action oriented; I think he may have a difficult time sympathizing with not feeling able to get up and do anything

-But damnit if he doesn’t try; he wants you to tell him everything so he can learn and be of better support

-He also gives the best hugs

Frodo:

-He is a very steady friend

-Like he’s not going anywhere; no matter how dark things look he’s still there with a torch

-He makes you go on walks like clockwork to give you some feeling of routine

-He always invites you over because if he can’t help he’s sure Bilbo can

-How can you be sad when talking to Bilbo?

-Well actually he talks a lot so maybe it’s a bit exhausting; but it’s a kind thought

Sam:

-So Sam wants to help so bad; the idea that he can’t fix it doesn’t sit well with him so he will keep trying

-He will help with tasks obviously because acts of service is his love language

-But I also imagine him trying to give comfort but not in the “let me hug you and you can cry on my shoulder way”

-More so in the “look at this photo of a piglet in rain-boots! You can’t be sad while looking at that!”

-Yes you can because that’s not how depression works but still; you put on a smile anyway because he’s just so adorable and he’s trying his best

-This may turn into a sort of “fake it till you make it” situation where eventually you may feel better from his antics

Merry:

-We know this hobbit likes to plan things and is always up for adventure with his friends

-And he’s basically Sherlock of the hobbits so you don’t have to say anything for him to read you like an open book

-He will set you a schedule and will hold you to it by joining you

-He’s not going to go easy on you ngl

-Not in a mean way; but he won’t give you a day to take a break and stay in bed

-Even if you have to half ass everything; you will be doing something

-“you don’t need to wash your hair but you do need to sit in this tub for at least 10 minutes”

-This can feel exhausting at the time and may make you snap at him sometimes but he’s determined because he loves you

-And sometimes tough love is the most helpful

Pippin:

-Can’t get out of bed?

-Don’t worry! Pippin won’t let you be lonely

-He won’t always drag you out of bed. Instead he will join you and talk your ear off

-He brings the “fun” to you

-With the hope that he will either annoy you so much you get up

-Or that his stories give you some level of intrigue to want to go out and see whatever it was he is talking about

Gandalf:

-This is a very old man, he’s seen depression in all states and forms

-He’s a quiet type of comfort

-He definitely says some vague poetic shit that isn’t necessarily helpful but it does have a meaningful lesson

-Offers his pipe

-He is also sort of they type that you are a little afraid to disobey

-Like if he tells you to get outside more; even if you don’t see him, he knows if you have or haven’t

——————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Idk how good this is. I personally do have depression so I know my own experiences with how it affects me, but it shows in different ways for everyone. In terms of comfort and support I’m not fully sure this does any justice, hopefully it’s a little comforting. I have a great support system but I’m notorious for being too stubborn to accept help. Don’t do that by the way, because eventually it will likely stop coming. Let your friends and family support you; it’s not out of pity; it’s because they care and want to help in anyway they can even if that just means checking to make sure you are alive each morning to let you know they are there.

Anyone can message me if they need someone to talk to. I’m no therapist or expert in any sense but I can be a friend :)

[jiraisupportgroup]

~ Tips for Dealing With Anxiety or Intense Emotions ~

This post is really long so in the interest of not clogging your dashboard here’s a table of contents

1~ Dislcaimers

2~ Accepting Your Situation

3~ Grounding Exercises

4~ Expelling Anger

5~ Addressing the Trigger

DISCLAIMER: I am not a therapist or a doctor!! Please take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Additionally, depending on what causes your anxiety some of these tips may not help you very much or may actually end up making things worse! For example - if you have OCD and one of your compulsions is counting things, the "counting" grounding technique probably is not a good fit for you and could actually exacerbate the symptoms of your OCD. If you experience depersonalization or derealization some mental-based grounding techniques may not work for you. If you have CPTSD - sometimes writing through a situation that was traumatic can be intensely triggering and should be done in a safe and controlled environment (often with a therapist if that is a possibility for you). Please use your best judgment when choosing what tips to try. If at any point while following these tips you feel heightened anxiety or an increase in negative emotions - PLEASE stop immediately and move on to a different grounding technique. Please don't feel bad if any of these tips do not work for you - it does not mean anything is wrong with you. Everyone is different and will have different reactions to things.

~ Accepting Your Situation ~

✰ Do Not Talk Down To Yourself ✰ There is no shame in experiencing intense emotions. You are not being unreasonable or dramatic or dumb or anything like that; you are experiencing emotions. That is OKAY. You are allowed to feel upset, you are allowed to feel anxious, you are allowed to feel angry, you are allowed to feel panic. Telling yourself "I shouldn't be feeling this" is not helpful! It's also not true! No rule says you have to feel certain emotions in certain situations. The fact of the matter is that you are feeling these intense emotions, and we have to go from there.

✰ Remove Yourself From the Situation ✰ If you experience these emotions while you're in a situation like an overcrowded store, or a conversation you're having - remove yourself from the situation. Go ANYWHERE else. Your bedroom, the bathroom, a quiet corner, your car, anywhere where you can sit down and be in a quieter and less busy environment. If there is another person involved in the situation tell them "I need to take a minute" or "Please leave me alone for a minute". You do not have to tell them why you are upset or how you're upset, just tell them to give you space. If you have a friend or someone else you trust nearby tell them what you are experiencing. It doesn't have to be specific, just say "I'm having really intense emotions right now". If the person making you feel this way is refusing to give you space; walk away. You do not have to justify yourself to this person - you do not owe them any responses - your number one priority is getting out of the situation. If that means you completely ignore them and literally run to your car or the bathroom and lock yourself in - then do it. If this means you have to call for help - then do it. Whatever you have to do to remove yourself from the situation, do it. I would much rather you feel like you're being dramatic and making a scene but get yourself out of the situation than stay in that situation to avoid "causing problems". Slight side note~ most of this post is based on the assumption that you are not actively in danger or a triggering situation. If you feel unsafe or at risk of being harmed (mentally or physically) by another person or yourself, please seek additional help and ensure your safety. ✰ Make a Safe Space ✰ We want to ensure that you are in a safe environment to avoid further triggers and allow yourself the feeling of safety so you can process the emotions you are feeling. Once you are removed from the situation (or if you're experiencing these emotions outside of an active situation), make things as comfortable for yourself as possible. Think about each of your senses. Sight - Is it too bright in this room? Too dark? Does watching sensory videos help you calm down or stay relaxed? Sound - Is it too loud? Too quiet? Do you need earplugs? Do you want to play some calming music or nature sounds? Binaural beats? Touch - Are you too hot? Too cold? Do you want a weighted blanket? A stuffed animal? Do you need to change into more comfortable clothing? Smell - Does it smell nice? Do you want to light a candle or some incense? Do you have any lotions or perfumes you enjoy the scent of? Taste - What are you tasting? Do you have a drink? Water? Juice? Do you have any gum or snacks you enjoy the flavour of? I do quite enjoy going through a little check of all the senses because it can double as a grounding exercise. Note that this doesn't mean you have to light a candle and play music and chew gum and change clothes in order to process your emotions - you can if you want to or have the energy to, but the important part is that you feel safe and comfortable.

~ Grounding Exercises ~

If you are feeling anxious or upset, utilizing a grounding exercise to bring yourself back into your body and calm your mind can be really helpful. Keep in mind that often times if you experience an intense emotion your body will release adrenaline, which can take up to 10 minutes to process once it stops being produced. If you don't calm down immediately that doesn't mean anything is wrong with you - try to be patient with yourself. For as long as you need engage in a grounding exercise (or multiple grounding exercises). ✰ Breathing Exercises ✰ Slow down your breathing. Breathe intentionally. Feel yourself breathing. There are many different methods for this. Below I put some of my favourite breathing exercise GIFs I use, try them out and see which one you like the most!

✰ Feel Your Body ✰ Literally. Physically. Press your hands together, and see if you can feel what sensation comes from which hand. Tap your feet on the ground. Touch your elbows to your knees, how does that feel? (I like this one because I think it feels weird). Analyze the physical sensations you're experiencing from yourself, your clothes, your chair, whatever is around you. Use things with more intense (but safe) feelings like ice or cold water if you are struggling with basic touch. NOTE ~ Depending on your situation and history this may be a triggering experience for you. If at any point you get the urge to scratch, hit, or otherwise hurt yourself or the things around you please stop and move on to another grounding exercise. Additionally, if this begins to lead to negative emotions about your body itself, please try to stick to focusing on the feelings of physical objects around you instead of your body itself; if the feelings continue please stop and move on to a different grounding exercise.

✰ 5-4-3-2-1 Method ✰ What are 5 things you hear? What are 4 things you can see? What are 3 things you can touch (from where you are sitting). What are 2 things you can smell? What is 1 thing you can taste? Go through your senses and really try to feel them as much as possible. Analyze them. You can hear music but can you hear multiple things in that music? Are the notes going up or down? Is it very staccato and jumpy or is it more strung together? You can feel your bedsheets, but do they feel different in different spaces? Are some spots warmer than others? Do both sides of the blanket feel the same or are they different? It's 'soft' but is it more silky or fluffy or velvety? ✰ Do Something Active but Small ✰ This is one of my personal favourites. If you have a small ball toss it up and catch it. Toss it with one hand and catch it with the other. Toss it back and forth. Feel it in your hands. Do you have a fidget spinner? Spin it. Feel how it's harder to move it around when it's spinning. Spin it one way, then the other. See how fast you can make it spin. Play a basic tapping game. My personal favourites are typing games or easy rhythm games. Seeing something on the screen and then tapping to respond to it keeps your mind and your hands busy, and can help you kind of zone in. Stretch. Feel your muscles, are they tight? Do they loosen up when you stretch? What parts of your body are the most tense?

✰ Counting ✰ Do this in a way that really makes you focus. Count up in 3s. What about 4s? Count backwards from 100 but only the even numbers. Count to 100 but avoid any multiples of 5. How many different numbers can you make with only 2s and 0s? NOTE ~ Counting can very easily become an OCD compulsion. Be cautious if you feel yourself resorting to counting frequently and in situations where it is not a conscious decision, or if you start to feel like bad things will happen if you do not count or that you HAVE to count. If you have OCD and foster compulsions easily please try a different grounding method.

✰ Recite Something Out Loud ✰ Say the words to a song or poem you know, or pick up a favourite book of yours (mine is Alice in Wonderland because of course it is) and read it out loud. Focus on how the words sound and what they mean. Is there any wordplay? What words do you enjoy the sounds of vs what words do you not like so much?

✰ Use Anchoring Statements ✰ State facts. "My name is xxx. I am xxx years old. I live in city, state. Today is Friday, July 26th. It is 2 in the afternoon. I am sitting at my desk. My pet is in the room." Just state facts about who you are and where you are. NOTE ~ Be cautious not to spiral with this. If you start saying negative things about yourself or your home such as "This room is dirty" or "I don't deserve xyv" please stop and move on to a different grounding method.

✰ Be Your Own Comfort ✰ Sometimes I pretend I'm another person comforting myself, like the anxiety is a kid and I have to step up and comfort the kid. So I'll walk myself through things. "You're going to stand up, you're going to walk to the kitchen, you're going to pour yourself some water, you're going to drink the water" or even "You're okay, you're fine, you aren't in danger, you are doing your best, this feeling is not going to last forever". It sounds dumb but sometimes hearing it out loud can help, and the more you tell yourself these things the more you believe them.

~ Expelling Anger ~

If you are experiencing intense anger you might need a more physical or emotional outlet before you can calm down. You want to allow yourself to feel that anger in a way that is not destructive to you or your surroundings. Please note that there are different schools of thought on this and different people react in different ways! Some people say to release your anger through a controlled outburst, some people say even controlled outbursts keep you in that headspace and can cause you to become even more angry or agitated. Keep in tune with your body - if while you are doing these things you notice yourself getting even angrier or even more agitated, try a grounding exercise to calm yourself down instead. The final goal is that you are more calm and less agitated at the end of this. Try and feel out what works best for you. ✰ Do Something Active ✰ Go for a walk. Go for a run. Lift something heavy. Clean. Do jumping jacks. Do something active to get your angry energy out. ✰ Throw or "Break" Something In a CONTROLLED Manner ✰ Break something that is okay and safe to break. Tear up a piece of paper. Throw ice cubes into the bathtub. Throw a tennis ball around (preferably outside if you can). Throw stuffed animals at the wall. Beat up the stuffed animals (they will understand I promise). You can be "destructive" in ways that are not actually very destructive. NOTE ~ Sometimes these actions can make things worse for some people and increase your want to break something for real or do something destructive to yourself. If you experience these wants while engaging in one of these activities - do your best to stop and try something else.

✰ Scream ✰ Into a pillow or - my personal favourite - in your car. I am known to take little drives around town and scream at 3am because I just have to get it out. If you can't scream for real try silent screaming. Pretty much act just like you're screaming but don't actually make noise. It can be more effective than you would think.

✰ Cry ✰ Cry as much and as HARD as you can. Let it out. Be embarrassing and ugly about it, like really for real cry. Cry "unreasonably" hard. I like to set a timer for 10 minutes and just cry as hard as I possibly can for those 10 minutes just to get it out. There is no shame in crying - it's generally pretty healthy for you. Crying can release endorphins and oxytocin which are pretty much "brain feel better" chemicals. Some studies also suggest that crying can reduce stress hormones in your body. Crying is awesome. NOTE ~ Try to avoid hyperventilation. If you are prone to hyperventilating while you cry or if crying tends to lead to panic attacks for you, be cautious. This doesn't mean don't cry, just be aware and don't try to make yourself cry harder artificially. Also please avoid looking at triggering media to make yourself cry - if you don't feel like crying don't make yourself feel like crying please T-T

Once you have gotten it out and you're starting to feel a little better, I personally recommend doing a calming grounding exercise afterwards to give yourself time to fully decompress.

~ Addressing the Trigger ~

Once you have calmed yourself down and feel like you're mostly in control again, it's a good time to review the situation. It is up to you if you want to do this - if you did some grounding exercises and you feel better now and you want to move on, go for it. But if you've still got some lingering feelings or you find yourself thinking about the situation again afterwards I usually recommend analyzing it.

Breaking down and understanding a situation can help us a lot in the future because it helps us learn what makes us upset and how we deal with it. It also helps us understand our emotions better so we can work with that and develop coping mechanisms that work for us.

NOTE ~ Depending on what the situation is, like if it was a traumatic event, it can be very triggering to write through it like this. In these cases I typically recommend working through them with a therapist if possible - if not possible try to stay in tune with your emotions. If you feel like you are getting anxious or upset, or even potentially could send yourself into a flashback, please stop, ground yourself, and come back to it whenever you feel ready whether that be the same day or multiple days later.

"BREAK IT DOWN" Journal Prompt Sheet ^ This is a link to a Google Document that lays out how I personally break down situations. It's got an example in there to kind of show you how I use it, but you can make a copy of the document and delete that to use for your own situations ^-^ Below are the prompts and what they mean;

✰ What are the play-by-play facts of the situation? ✰ What objectively happened? Try to keep emotions or your guesses at the other person's motivations out of this one. Just state the concrete observable facts. ✰ What is the context surrounding the situation? ✰ Now you can talk about your emotions and what you think the other person’s motivations were. What led up to this? Do you have past experience with things like this? ✰ How did you feel mentally after this happened? ✰ Try to use specific words or really elaborate. “I felt sad” is not as meaningful as “I felt like I was being betrayed” or “I felt like everything I had been working for was meaningless and got taken away” (To absolutely no one’s surprise, I’m putting the emotions wheel in here for reference)

✰ What are your worries about the situation? ✰ What did / do you think was / is going to happen? What were / are you scared of happening? It does not matter how “unreasonable” it is - go ahead and write it. ✰ Did you feel any physical reactions to the situation? ✰ Did you chest hurt? Did you tense up? What areas of your body were affected? Did you feel exhausted afterwards? ✰ Why do you think you felt these ways? ✰ Think about similar situations or other times you’ve felt the same things. Did something specific trigger you? Did you just get overwhelmed because you were really tired? It’s also okay to say you don’t know. Sometimes things happen and you just don’t know why. ✰ What would you like to happen with this situation? ✰ If it’s ongoing what sort of resolution would you like to see? If it is done and over what sorts of things would you like to happen in future situations like this? ✰ What sort of compromises do you think you'll have to make? ✰ Consider the other person’s point of view, or if a situation like being in public in general triggered you consider how you’d deal with that in the future. ✰ Do you think these are reasonable expectations? ✰ Is this doable? Is this agreeable? Try not to fall into "no because they never agree with anything I say" try to think if you asked someone completely unrelated to the situation if this solution seemed appropriate what would they say. ✰ What sort of actions can you take to make these things happen? Is there anyone you can trust to help you in this situation? ✰ We love an action plan! How do we prevent this from happening again or how do we build up our coping mechanisms to be able to handle it if it does happen again? ✰ How are you feeling right now? ✰ Check in with yourself. Writing through things is hard. How are you doing right now? ✰ Is there anything you can do to reward yourself for working through this right now? ✰ You deserve a reward!!! Writing through things is hard!!! Reward yourself!!!

Thank you for reading ♡ hopefully some of the information can be helpful to you. I also cannot stress enough please, if any of these tips negatively impact you do not engage with them further T^T this is one of those things that everyone is going to react to very differently, so I'm counting on you to be responsible and recognize which ones work or don't work for you to the best of your abilities, okay? ♡

[koolades-world]

Hi :) is hug deprived anon no longer anon, back with another request (if you want to write it obv! No pressure, as always!)

So, this MC is pretty strong as humans go. A bit above average in height, isn’t chiseled and buff like Beel but does have a lot of functional muscle strength. The sort of person who was always the one people back in the human world would call on to lift heavy things, move furniture, carry boxes, etc.

Likewise, their personality is kinda like Beel’s—in that they’re generally helpful and protective, mild mannered, about as talkative as he is. MC grew up a bit too fast though. They were too helpful, given responsibilities before they were ready, put in charge of others because they’re reliable. Their peers and adults alike would confide in them about their issues when they were still too young to handle them well, which they took with the same gentle, old-soul competence that makes it easy for people to rely on them as always.

They’re used to carrying heavy things (including people) both physically and emotionally. Good at it, too.

But then, they arrive in the Devildom and make friends with the bros, helping them like in canon as this MC would instinctively do, but also… these demons are bigger and stronger than them. As much as MC still falls into the babysitter/therapist role emotionally for them, the demons protect MC physically.

This is a huge, life affirming relief to MC! It’s so nice to have other people to take over being the protective strong one for once! It’s so nice to have help! It’s nice to feel cared for.

So, how do you think the bros would react to this MC leaning into their demons babying them? Maybe eventually getting a bit clingy with them? Mc being like, oh, you want to help me? You’re protecting me, you’re carrying stuff for me, you’re genuinely asking how I’m feeling?? Thank fuck! Yes, I am babie, pls carry me

If all the bros are too much/impractical for this one, it’s also totally good if you’d rather write this with just Beel and/or Mammon. Lucifer could work well for this too, now that I think of him. Do whatever you like! Have fun! :)

hi!! great to hear from you :) thanks for always being sweet, it always makes my day to see you <3

decided to do beel, mammon, and asmo because I figured he could be fun to write and felt like he's almost an unlikely pick

enjoy <3

Strong Mc who enjoys being babied

Mammon

when he's around, which is basically all the time since you're attached at the hip, he doesn't want you to lift a finger

he's absolutely determined to make you feel special and treat you like gold

would give you the world if you stared at it for even a second too long

he doesn't care that you're taller or more buff than him, you're baby

you work so hard and he wants you to know that

please he'd stop a moving car or an angry satan if you asked

while he knows he's not helpful academically, he is willing to help you in any other way possible

you want to go shopping? take goldie from him you can carry her

you need someone to carry the bags? that's what he's here for

you need someone to tell you how your outfits are? he's got you

he's so whipped

Asmo

this seems unlikely but i think people tend to forget that he's pretty strong too

he's more powerful than beel and it's so funny to me to think that the little twink is more powerful than the body builder work out brother

he would take full advantage of this to catch you by surprise with hugs from behind that lift you off the ground

is overjoyed when you say you love them and that he can hug you whenever he wants

expect lots of surprise hugs

when the two of you are out in public, and someone is trying to both you for whatever reason, he won't hesitate to sock them in the face

while he hates to talk about his own feelings because of the implications that holds for him, he's very emotionally available for you

he will be your ultimate hype man

if you want, he will literally just carry you around while you nap, mindlessly scroll, or do whatever

he will continue on with his day as normal as if he isn't carrying you around like a baby

he's just underrated in general

Beel

to be honest, this is new for him too

it's rare for him to meet someone cut from the same cloth as him but he doesn't mind, and actually likes it

because of this, he knows exactly what he can do to help you, or ease your burdens

he knows how tough it can be to carry around something emotionally

always there to talk things out with you

or, he can be your shoulder to lean on

honestly whatever you need him to be, he can be

he's always willing to help and lets you know that

will give the best piggyback ride you've ever had, and will give them whenever

he understands how you feel and is glad he's able to give you the solace you deserve <3

[luvrrgirl444]

chapter 14: genius

IRL, INSTAGRAM!

“hi, y/n and i’m here today with genius to explain the lyrics of my song ‘kill bill’.” you smiled at the camera.

“so, fun fact about kill bill is that it actually only took about 6 hours to produce. i, uh-” you laughed. “i saw this thing online and it made me feel some type of way, and i was like ‘i need to release what i feel right now.’ so, i took out my songbook and went crazy. i called up my friend jean, my producer, and i was crying,” you laughed again, and made a phone gesture with your hand and brought it up to your ear. “and i was like, ‘bro i just wrote these lyrics, can we make a song right now?’ and we did, in like 6 hours.”

VERSE 1

i’m still a fan even though i was salty

hate to see you with some other broad, know you happy

hate to see you happy if i’m not the one driving

“the person that this song is about is actually also an artist, and he’s actually really talented. so basically, i was saying that even though i hate that nigga,” you stuck up your middle finger. “he’s still a great artist, unfortunately. the next two lines are literal, uh, about a month, maybe a month and a half after we broke up, he was posted up with another girl. which was honestly really shitty because he broke up with me to ‘focus on his music’” you quirked your eyebrow and used quotation marks. “basically this whole song is about me being a jealous heartbroken bitch.” you sarcastically smiled.

PRE-CHROUS

i’m so mature, i’m so mature

i’m so mature, got me a therapist to tell me there’s other men

i don’t want none, i just want you

if i can’t have you, no one should

i might

“i was tryna convince myself that i was strong, and that this wasn’t hurting me as much as i thought it was, but it definitely was. literally wrote a whole muthafucking song about it.” you laughed. “we we’re dating for a long ass time to be honest, so with the ‘i don’t want none, i just want you’ lyric, it’s basically saying that i’ve been with you for so fucking long, it’s always been you, how am i supposed to move on, y’know? it’s lowkey corny but yeah. the last lyric is very um, yandere simulator vibes but it relates to the theme of the song, which is like jealousy and vengeance and possession.” you put your hands up. “don’t worry y’all, i’m not a criminal.”

CHORUS

i might kill my ex, not the best idea

his new girlfriend's next, how'd i get here?

i might kill my ex, i still love him though

rather be in jail than alone

��i can explain y’all, i’m not a killer or a criminal but imma be real, i was definitely having some intrusive thoughts. but everyone does. like, anyone who says they’ve never had thoughts about hurting someone that did them dirty, or fucked with them, they’re fucking lying, 100%. and relating to what i said before, we were together for so long. no matter how much i try to deny, the love is still there. it’s been built up for years, as much as i want to, i can’t magically forget it overnight.”

you continued on with singing the lyrics and explaining them until you completely finished the entire song.

“kill bill was an impulsive creation and release. we recorded and finished the song in like 6 hours, and i was like ‘i want to release this today’” you pointed downwards. “but everyone told me no.” you rolled your eyes. “so i asked when was the soonest we could release it, and it was like in 2 days. so the next day i posted on instagram saying that i was releasing a song tomorrow and that was it. there was no promo for it, which is why i’m so fucking shocked that it did so well. but, thank you to my fans, friends and family, i love you all. stream kill bill, album coming soon, bye!” you blew a kiss to the camera, before smiling and making heart with your hands.

liked by erenjaeger, latto & 588,087 others

y/nsinterlude kill bill interview w @genius out neowwww!! go run it up 🫣🫣🤍

comments

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view 86.7k others..

🦋 !

- this chapter is fr just a whole lotta yapping but 🫣🫣

taglist! <3 @lovelytayy @cyberkitty1 @sqlty @cr0quis @koreluvsspring @asp7n @lottiematthewsceo @shidousmainluvr @idontknowwhatnametochoosee @drugzforyou @astrokatsuki @crvzy-fujoshi @ncentic @ilyconnie @stellartoi @bubbabobabubbles @tee4str

[tiyoin]

I see your anxious reader and raise you this. Depressed, anxious, ADHD, mild autistic reader. :)))) my life is a living hell! :))))))))) *shakes and stemming violently*

🫵 YOU

you get it.

i don’t have autism (i think, gotta get that checked, but it’s highly suspected that i have audhd -from my lovely therapist🫶) so i don’t want to misrepresent it or offend anyone. but you’re literally the strongest soldier out there. like im struggling with just the 3 and my life is already a hellscape.

but as someone with all of the top 3 let me tell you- they were HUGE influences on how twisted anxiety reader acts.

is reader going to have a special fixation? yes! but will it be on an object… possibly no, but IT’S GONNA BE ON PEOPLE.

they’ve already considered grim a ‘safe person cat’ and subconsciously think of him as an emotional support animal (like i did with my late dog) so you can expect more of grim and reader!!

Is reader gonna self destruct as soon as they feel like experienced ‘rejection?’ ABSOLUTELY, they’ll pull away at the slightest chance their vulnerability was seen as ‘too much’ or if the person got uncomfortable

and obviously by the title reader is socially anxious. but because of recent events i’ve found a deeper level of experiences with it and reader is about to hit a new plight of events!!

but imagining reader with the 4 horsemen of the mental illness (that’s what i call them cause everytime i got diagnosed w smthn i swore i heard the trumpets of death) their life would be sooo much harder. just because there’s so many contradictions between them.

reader needs a schedule to feel organized but they can’t keep to the schedule because all their dopamine went into creating said schedule. and they’re procrastinating.

reader wants to talk to someone but they just realized eye contact is too much for them. but they were taught to look at people when talking or it’s rude so they’re just 👁️👁️ staring

reader had a surge of energy, of dopamine and they were out-going, friendly, talkative- everything was going right, but then the next day they’re hit with a huge slump. ofc reader is in despair because see they can do better, be better!

and it frustrates them to no end.

reader at the monstro cringing at the food they were given. you bet it tastes amazing! but the side dish is looking at you weird, and it’s touching the main dish… no! it’s not a problem, not at all! but… there’s an uncomfortable feeling you’re experiencing, and you do everything in your power not to be rude.

ofc reader gets embarrassed by this. they’re acting like they’re 5!! but… the food is contaminated and you can’t eat it ‘pure’ anymore. and don’t get the reader started on the texture of the veggies, it makes them shudder. like it’s good! but there’s smthn about it.

reader who notices everything but forces themselves to have tunnel vision because everything is just too much.

i’m taking this one after myself, but when reader is nervous they have a sign. ofc rook was able to decipher it in a split second, but they’ll always scratch their nose or rub their hands together like they’re plotting smthn

yeah, plotting of to escape!

reader who wants to fit in soo badly, but no matter what they do they always feel like an odd ball. but when they hang out with the odd balls they still don’t fell, quite right. reader is gonna experience a constant limbo of ‘where do i belong? why can’t i fit in anywhere?’.

HAHAHAHA READER BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER THINGS TO THE SLIGHTEST DETAIL WHEN THEY WANT TO BUT ASK THEM TO REMEMBER SMTHN IMPORTANT N THEY GO BLANK

but don’t worry anon, our lovely twisted anxiety reader is gonna go through it 🙈

[plussizefantasia]

Trick-Or-Treat

Flufftober Day 31: Trick or Treat

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

AN: Here it is. The last one shot of October. Thank you to everyone who has left comments and reblogs you guys are awesome. I'll be taking a short break (like two weeks) and will be back soon with some more stories including a multi-chapter Steve Harrington x reader story and plans for the 100-follower celebration that we earned at the beginning of the month. As always, reblogs and feedback are really appreciated.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

Bucky Barnes didn’t think very much of himself. Which is a real shame, considering he’s one of the most amazing men you’ve ever met. You wouldn’t have moved in together if he was a bad guy like he thought he was. The two of you had moved into a two-story townhouse in Brooklyn three months ago. Bucky really wanted to get close to his roots, especially after everything that happened. Steve had moved into an apartment about a block from you guys but split most of his time between the Avenger’s initiative and being home. 

“Jamie, could you help me move the couch to the stoop please?’

‘Why are we taking our indoor furniture outdoors?” 

“So that we have something comfy to sit on while we hand out candy.” 

“We’re handing out candy? I thought we were just going to put it in a bowl and leave it outside the door.” Bucky was confused, and more than a little apprehensive. 

“Jamie. Love of my life, this is what people who have houses do. They sit out on their porches and hand out candy to children in mediocre costumes for two hours while trying not to freeze. It’s a rite of passage.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t do trick or treat in the olden days?” 

“First of all, don’t call them the olden days. Second of all, trick or treating wasn’t really a thing until I was too old to participate, and even then, people had more things to worry about than handing out candy.”

“Why don’t you want to hand out candy, Jamie?”

“Because… it will be cold.”

“You’re literally a human furnace try again.” You lifted one eyebrow at him, trying your best to capture the essence of Roger’s ‘eyebrows of disappointment’ that he had practically trademarked.

“Doll, I just don’t think it's a good idea.”

“Why not Jamie? I won’t make you hand out candy if you don’t want to but I have a feeling that whatever reason you have in your silly little noggin for not wanting to isn’t really a good one.”

“What if they hate me?” He mumbled.

“What if who hates you, baby?”

“The kids. What if the kids are scared of me.”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You are a hero, you fought to bring back literally half of the population of the entire universe, anyone who is scared of you is an idiot.”

“That’s sweet doll, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s night.”

“The only person’s night who is a risk of being ruined is mine. I don’t know how I’ll survive without my human furnace to keep me warm out there.” You batted your eyelashes at him. “Please, Jamie? Just try, if you hate it you can go back inside but I think you’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” You didn’t try to fight the smile that spread from ear to ear.

‘Yeah, doll. I’ll hand out candy with you.”

Bucky wasn’t sure about any of this. But you had asked so prettily and his therapist (someone you had found for him, not one of the shitty government-appointed ones) had told him that he needed to start pushing his boundaries. He figured that spending the night next to you and watching you be happy was as good of a way to start pushing boundaries as any. He had pulled the couch out into the space that was right in front of your door. He had helped you climb over the back of it with a huge bowl of candy after you realized that the couch had practically trapped you inside. Now the two of you were waiting. The night didn’t officially start until 8:00 so you had about fifteen minutes to go. 

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?’

“I forgot my phone.”

“Okay?’ 

“Jamie?”

“Yes?” 

“Could you go get my phone?” He let out a deep sigh and one of those old man grunts as he pushed himself up off the couch and climbed over it. He walked further into the house and you took your chance. “Hey Jamie?”

“Yes, Doll?” 

“Since you’re inside… could you make me some hot chocolate?” 

“Doll, if you wanted hot chocolate you could’ve just asked in the first place you didn’t need to send me on a quest for your phone.”

“I did actually leave my phone on the counter so it’s not like I lied.”

As Bucky was making your hot chocolate, the beginning few kids started emerging from their houses, parents behind them bundled up to counteract the chilly October night.

You saw a few clowns, some kids show characters that you didn’t really know the name of, and some funny pun costumes that you laughed at. But what really caught your eye was the trio of boys four houses down from yours, making their way down the street.

They couldn’t have been older than eight but their costumes were impeccable. They really were mini versions of your three favorite guys. A mini Captain America complete with a homemade cardboard shield, a mini falcon with swim goggles and a plastic redwing, and last but certainly not least a mini winter soldier whose arm was wrapped in tinfoil. 

You had to resist the urge to actually scream, but you did let out a few overjoyed giggles.

“Jamie! James come quick!” You yelled into the house.

“You’re hot chocolate is almost done.” He yelled back.

“Who cares about the hot chocolate this is way more important!”

He started making his way towards the open door, “What is more important than hot choco-” He completely stopped. Frozen in his place looking at the three little boys making their way up your steps. “Holy Shit”

‘Language.” You replied.

Bucky practically launched himself over the back of the couch to meet the boys,

“Mom! Mom look! It’s Sergeant Barnes.” The boy with the tinfoil arm turned with a bright smile on his face. His mom was nearly as frozen as Bucky, most likely not expecting to run into a retired superhero on Halloween night.

With a smack from you, Bucky released himself from his stupor. “Hey little man, what’s your name?”

“George, but everyone calls me Georgie.” He said with the confidence of a kid who had rehearsed. 

“Well Georgie, that’s a very nice costume you’ve got there.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes, Sir.”

“Call me Bucky, please.”

“Okay, Mr. Bucky, sir.” Both you and Bucky chuckled at that.

“I think a costume as good as that deserves some candy what do you think?” Bucky looked at you.

“Definitely, I think all three of these young heroes deserve their candy.”

You placed a handful into the Captain’s bucket, and the Falcon’s but let Bucky grab the candy for his mini-me. He grabbed two large handfuls and winked at the kid as he placed them inside his orange pumpkin bucket.

“Would you be okay with taking a picture?” Georgie’s mom asked.

“Absolutely!’ Bucky replied and pulled all three young boys in front of him. Kneeling behind them and giving a genuine smile.

Once pictures were done the parents got the boys to say goodbye and move on. 

“There are more houses to go to Georgie, besides, I’m sure Mr. Barnes would like to be able to give candy to some other kids.”

“Okay Mom,” Georgie turned back to Bucky, “Thank you, Mr. Bucky, sir. You’re my hero.” He turned back away and skipped down your stairs and onto the next one like he hadn’t just broken your boyfriend.

The rest of the night went pretty similarly, with the occasional Avenger costume and star-struck kid. Bucky posing for pictures and actually enjoying it and you handing out way more candy per child than their parents were okay with.

Bucky’s smile never faded and he seemed to get more and more into it as the night went on. 

“Hey Doll?” He asked when the two of you had finally returned your couch back to its rightful place.

“Yeah, Jamie.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You kissed him on the cheek. “You never did bring me my hot chocolate though.”

[misfithive]

What Simon can teach us about boundaries!

Been seeing a lot of Simon hate again lately (mostly on other apps but i’m sure its here too) and it's getting pretty frustrating and honestly a little bit troubling that people think so little of Simon and his needs.

Simon hate feels like some weird connection to the patriarchy/heteronormativity where some people have just decided that it is okay for one person's needs to be ignored in a relationship in order to satisfy the other. Lisa seemed to intentionally try and create a dynamic in their relationship where they see each other as equals. They may struggle to see each others perspectives at times but that is true for literally ANY RELATIONSHIP where two people come together from different walks of life. Both their needs matter and their journey in the relationship is to figure out how to honor the other persons needs while honoring themselves or see if that is even possible.

Sooo I wanted to share some lessons about boundaries that people could learn through Simon instead of talking sh!t about him !!!

1. Boundaries are about what we want and need in a relationship. Sometimes people want different things and thats ok!

People love to say that Simon forced Wilhelm to come out. I even saw someone say that Simon was asking Wilhelm to "give up his family and the throne". No where does Simon ask him to do any of those things. Notice how Simon says "I don't want to be anyones secret"? This is not just about Wille. This is a boundary that he has for himself and the types of relationships that he wants to have. Everyone is allowed to have expectations or want a certain type of relationship. Saying you don’t want to be in a secret relationship is quite a reasonable request. It is also quite reasonable to say that you don't want to be in a public relationship. Sometimes in relationships, what two people need is incompatible at the time which is why it made sense for them to end things. That is the point- for both people to say what they need to feel comfortable and sometimes other people cannot meet your needs- you have to decide if that is a dealbreaker and for Simon at the time it was.

2. Boundaries ≠ manipulation

He tells Wilhelm he take as much time as he needs but you have to do it alone. That is a boundary it is NOT manipulation. He does not try to control Wilhelm or tell Wilhelm what to do. Saying a relationship wont work for you unless certain needs are met or that you dont want to do tons of emotional labor for another person is not manipulation. He is saying I am not okay with being a secret, I am not okay with having my trust broken, i’m not okay with being in a relationship where you say one thing and do another (Wilhelm made a promise he could not keep and even he has owned up to that to Nils). Simon is not saying YOU HAVE TO COME OUT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE. He is not playing mind games or trying to get Wilhelm to change his mind in order to be with him. He is willing to walk away even tho his heart is breaking because he knows it is not possible at that point for Wille and him to get on the same page.

Boundaries have become part of social media language lately thanks to instagram therapists and the like but a lot of people have misconstrued the meaning. Some people call something a boundary when they are actually being controlling. However the purpose of a boundary is about what you yourself are comfortable with, not what other people can/cannot do. Ex: “i am okay with holding hands in public but otherwise I don’t feel comfortable with PDA” (healthy boundary). Vs “you can’t have guy friends because I get jealous” (unhealthy boundary). Boundaries are healthy and necessary for a relationship to be healthy- they are not the same as manipulation or trying to control someone else.

3. What is okay for you does not have to be okay for someone else. Everyone’s boundaries are different because we are all different people with different traumas, needs, experiences, relationships, and limits. I have seen people compare the Wilmon to Narlie where Charlie is okay with Nick wanting to keep things “secret”. Besides the fact that this is a completely different relationship and context, the fun thing about boundaries is that what is okay for you does not have to be okay for someone else! Just because you would have been willing to be Wilhelm’s secret if he asked does not mean that Simon has to. Just because Charlie was willing to to do that for Nick does not mean that Simon has to. Not to mention !!! Nick also acknowledged that is not fair to Charlie and outside of not telling people they had a very loving smooth sailing relationship - people expect Simon to be like Charlie without acknowledging that Wilhelm is not giving the level of trust and security that Nick is. If you want to go there, I'm sure if Wille was acting like Nick being consistent not saying "i'm not like that", "delete my number" etc (regardless of the reason) then maybe Simon would have been more okay with it. This is not Wille hate bc i get it, but sometimes in empathizing with Wille people forget that Simon is a whole human with wants and needs. Simon needs to protect himself and his heart. We all do. Relationships should not require you to subject yourself to pain for someone else. It is healthy to have boundaries and know your needs and what you deserve. And at that point in time Wille could not give him that. Most people watching were quite proud of Simon for that so idk how the narrative got turned to him being selfish.

4. Boundaries can change

It is normal to reassess your boundaries, that does not make them any less valid. Clearly for Simon, once Wilhelm proved his trust more and and Simon reevaluated what he wanted, he decided that he was willing to be a secret if that meant having each other. If he never decided that, it still would have been totally valid. Also noting, there was no compromise/meet in the middle there in Simon deciding that he was willing to be a secret for Wille. It's just funny that Simon is getting the flack for not wanting to "compromise" or meet in the middle when in the end, Simon was willing to do exactly what Wille wanted and he gets ZERO credit from some people for that. Luckily Wilhelm sees what a sacrifice this is for Simon and does not leave Simon to sacrifice alone.

4. Boundaries protect the relationship, build trust and help relationships grow

If Simon had never stood his ground both in s1e6 and throughout s2 Wille would have likely continued the way he was going bc it was comfortable for him and he was understandably scared. They probably would have gotten in even more arguments and honestly i do not think Wille would have been forced to mature and consider Simons feelings in the way he eventually did. I know people resist Edvin calling Wille selfish but Simon has to constantly keep telling Wille “what about me? What about my family? Do you see how hard this is for me?” For some reason viewers are interpreting that as selfish ?? In a relationship you really should not have to be constantly reminding someone to consider you and your feelings.

Simon setting boundaries and saying what he wanted only made their relationship stronger even tho they had to take some time apart. Protecting yourself and wanting a healthy balanced relationship where your needs are considered as much as the other person’s is not selfish. And anyone who tells you that it is does not have your best intentions at heart. Simon is not saying his needs are MORE important than Wille’s he is saying that his needs matter TOO and are EQUALLY IMPORTANT to Wille’s. Which was the journey he needed to go on (as stated by his sister) and the journey that Wille needed to go on as well in order to create a healthy dynamic together.

Setting boundaries is hard but worth it in the end!!!

So yeah! I hope you all set some boundaries today or use this info to argue with simon antis 💖

—————-

Disclaimer// I am not a therapist i just do workshops with teens about healthy relationships and it is a passion of mine.

[s3thwrit3sstuff]

❝ Breathe through it ❞

Touya Todoroki x ftm!reader x Tomura Shigaraki | Taishiro Toyomitsu x ftm!reader x Shota Aizawa| AU, Dabi & Tomura works as a body piercer & tattoo artist | nsfw, smut, p**n with plot | sub. bttm. reader | wc: 4k

warnings: dub. con. (the reader is mostly being a brat), daddy kink, d. penetration (one hole), overstimulation, AFAB terminology (clit referred to as dick though)

masterlist: pt1; pt2; pt3

They want you without the commitment, so you decide to show them the roster full of people you could choose from.

There's an incessant buzzing on your bed. The screen of your phone lights up with 'Dick for Brains' as the caller ID and you watch as it eventually fades, casually drying off the nape of your neck as the wisps of steam from your bathroom whisper against the small of your back. The screen lights up again. You roll your eyes, reaching down to turn it over. You drop the towel around your waist onto the floor, stepping over the puddle of cloth to open your closet doors. Standing there in all your naked glory, you begin humming as you eye the array of clothing before you. A ruffle of fur brushes your fingers and you fight a scowl as you realize what jacket it was. "Fuck them" you mutter distastefully "Treating me like I'm some goddamn prostitute". You rummage with sudden vigour, reaching for your neglected articles of clothing.

You, out of all people, should know that when it came to fuckboys there's no time to feel regret at their lack of commitment. Most would call you a variation of a fuckboy yourself - though you don't regret being your flirtatious self, ever. You were transparent in your disinterest in a relationship (with someone you weren't attracted to outside of the bedroom). But Dabi and Tomura? They were slutty fucking bastards. Perhaps they knew how well you could fit into their lives, which scared them. It didn't take a genius to know the two of them had a particularly strong case of abandonment issues. Anyone could claim you were being an armchair psychologist but the way they act has you itching to make an appointment with a therapist. Conniving, shitty, man-children. It was one thing to turn your less-than-innocent rendezvous into just...three dudes hanging out (truly, your standards had lowered because why did Dabi and Tomura sharing food with you make your heart race when they've swapped cum in your mouth?). It was another to chase off potential bedmates from you when you three were out in a club — of which prior, you had expressed your annoyance at their want to have you exclusively while they had more flings.

A sheer material flutters by your knuckles. When you pull the garment out it's a beautiful, oversized, button-up shirt. The cutting of the shirt was nothing special, however, the design was breathtaking. Holding it up to the light, you chew on your lower lip with a gleeful twinkle in your eyes. It was see-through though the darker colour of the design was meant to mimic a cinched waist while the outer lavender hue nearly disappeared in the light. You lay it down on your bed, grab your still buzzing phone and reject the call from 'Daddy Issues Central' before calling up your friends. "Well, well, well".

You land on your bed with an 'oomph' stroking the chosen top with a giggle pouring from your lips. "Look who came crawling back, your new boy toys finally bored you?" "Something like that" Your bed creaks as you roll onto your back, touching your lobes as you ponder which piercings to decorate it with. A thrum of musing came from the phone.

"They lasted a while, did they shatter when you left? I need details" they sang and from the sound of movement, you figured they were getting ready as well. "Haven't dropped them" Your sigh makes the sounds halt then a series of 'nonono'. They groaned, "God - (Y/N), don't tell me this is going to be another repeat of Mirai Sasa- whatever the fuck that guy's name was". "He wasn't that bad" you defended. "He quite literally got on his knees and begged for you to 'return back to your rightful future' with him" They shift the phone from their hand to their shoulder and your giggle makes them snort. "Trust me, these guys are not the grovelling type" an idea of a full outfit pops into your head. Raising from the bed, you bounce towards your closet. "Where are you going?" you ask. "Why are you assuming I'm going out?" "It's a Saturday night and you," a grunt leaves your lips as you toss a pair of unworthy shorts over your shoulder, "Just posted something about your boss' son getting the promotion you wanted on your Instagram story". "...Fine, I'm going to the Boy Toy Club in like 25 fucking minutes. You think you can get all dolled up in time, (Y/N)?" Your chuckle makes them roll their eyes fondly. "30 minutes? Pleaseee" "You better be glad I fucking love you". "Who fucking doesn't?" your friend groans and you end the call with a smile. Though it disappears as Dabi's calling you for what feels like the 500th fucking time. "Ugh".

Tomura's seen Dabi irritated before. Despite his cool-headedness, he knows better than anyone that underneath is a simmering beast that bares its teeth at the slightest provocation.

Right now, Dabi's lower jaw is jutted forward and Tomura sees his cheeks being sucked in as he chews on it, brows centred and hooding his eyes with a brewing storm. Tomura doesn't fare any better. He's been scratching at his neck, sighs of displeasure escaping him while he bounces a knee. The store had long closed, the humming of the AC muffling the men's obvious annoyance as it thickens in the air. "You pissed him off" Tomura accuses "He was the perfect fucking lay and your stupid mouth pissed him off!"

"Oh, can it, Shiggy!" Dabi warned, pushing himself off the couch and running his fingers through his hair. "They're other sluts, other 'perfect lays' Just get the fuck up and wear your jacket" Tomura's face scrunches in an incredulous expression as he throws his hands in the air. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" "It means we're going to a club, dick for brains" Dabi has his leather jacket over his shoulders, Tomura's jacket in his hand while the other was holding a box of cigarettes and a lighter. "You're a loser but you're still handsome" Tomura mocks him under his breath, eyes settling into a glare as Dabi holds firmly onto his chin to tilt his head up. Blue eyes flicker to his crotch and Tomura shoves Dabi away with his palm against his navel. "Cock's nice too - there'll be bitches slobbering all over it so come on." He turns to the entrance, lighting the cigarette and shouldering the door open while Tomura bounces the store's keys in one hand and slips the other in the arm of his jacket. "You're drivin' us there, we don't need him".

Dabi's sorely mistaken. Tomura's pressed against his side, cock being pleasured by a hand that's not yours while Dabi's was in a mouth that was, also, not yours. The only thing that was keeping both of them hard was the fact they were shoving each other's tongues down their throats.

"Shit" he hears Tomura hiss, peeking his eyes open to see him push the redhead away from his side. "What the fuck, dude?!" he exclaims. Tomura pants, pulling away from Dabi to stuff his dick back in his pants. "Who the fuck taught you how to give handjobs? A sheet of sandpaper?" Tomura sneered, making Dabi groan as he shoved the guy sucking his dick off, though keeping him drunk on its taste by letting their lips hover by the side with his thigh cushioning his cheek. "Fuck you, I've been jerking you off for 15 minutes — It's not my fault your dicks are broken!" Tomura tells him to fuck off and they do with a string of curses. Dabi taps the one on his lap, earning hazy eyes looking oh-so-sweetly at him. The problem is, they're not that fiery (E/C) colour framed by your pretty lashes and further complimented by your eyebrow shape that Dabi somehow finds attractive. As he looks at the tongue peeking out from lips that aren't yours he clicks his tongue at the lack of metal that's supposed to be there. "Get off" he pushes them onto the floor and Tomura only half-pities them as they yelp, wiping their wet lips and watching as Dabi coldly walks over them and towards the wall of windows. Seeing as Dabi's a regular and one that pays well, he's given privileges. These rooms, with a wall of windows that face each other in a circle and overlook the lower level of the dance floors, were a privilege he'd been given.

Tomura grabs the bottle of champagne and drinks a mouthful. They (Dabi) had been gifted this for free due to his long absence. The pale-haired man pretended not to see Dabi's cheek twitching while he suppressed the bitter taste of regret. The man leaves, scampering almost, and the only sounds left are the muffled bass of the song playing below. Tomura raises to stand next to Dabi who takes the bottle from his hand. "Your dick's still out" he comments. "So?" Tomura observes the clear views of the other VIP rooms around them. He sees bodies, bodies, bodies in all sorts of positions and if the lights weren't constantly shifting or so dim, he was sure they'd be able to lip-read their throes of pleasure.

"...Admit it" Tomura grunts. "You first" Dabi replies. "He put a fucking spell on our dicks" Dabi's eyes roll so far back it threatens to lose those striking blues. "M'not fuckin' joking. That boy sucking your dick was your exact type and you couldn't even get it up if I didn't suck you off first" Dabi turns to Tomura, whose brows are cocked up righteously. "That redhead was your type too, rubbed you fucking raw and for nothing". They stared at each other in silence but Tomura inched closer and soon their kissing. It turns steamier, with his pierced nipples now against the window as Dabi kicks his ankles apart.

This is good, this is great. They're familiar with each other, an unspoken bond stitching their lives together in a way that could never be undone. Both wouldn't say it but only because the words boyfriends didn't quite fit the bill — they were more. They didn't need others. Not in a way that would last. It just complicated things in the long run — so they'd have flings (the other fully knowing) and share their flings but never had trouble falling back into sync. Their sex was great. Their jagged pieces just fit. So Tomura groans and grasps at the smooth glass as Dabi's pierced dick finds a home inside of him. He lets his breath fogs the glass up, arches his back to meet Dabi halfway in his thrusts and kisses Dabi when he feels his breath on his cheek. But his dick only twitches when his red eyes catch the sight of you. You. You were across from them, in the same pose as Tomura was and in the same room but instead of Dabi behind you, it's a blondie with yellow eyes and a considerable size difference to you. He goddamn towers over you and with the way your eyes are squeezed shut he knows his dick is splitting you open just right. Another shadow lurks behind you and this time a guy with long black hair comes to your side, kneeling as he ties his hair into a bun and Tomura's tongue envies his when your eyes shoot open from his mouth. "You're distracted" Dabi gruffs, nibbling at Tomura's ear so he reaches to grab a fistful of Dabi's hair to let his eyes focus on you. His dick twitches inside of him. "Fuck" they moan.

They need you.

"Fuck, you're so fucking big," Taishiro chuckles at your whining which turns into a silent scream as Shota sucks your dick. Taishiro can feel Shota's fingers rubbing on whatever parts of his dick that still isn't sheathed inside of your writhing body. You've always known your body and soul were greedy creatures. A pair of hands weren't enough. You needed more love bites, more bruises; just more moremoremore — As Shota pushes the hood of your dick back to blow his hot breath on it your thighs twitch and Taishiro inches more of him inside of you. This is exactly what you need. These two were ever attentive — courteous despite the less-than-innocent club they were at. The cologne they had smelled expensive, and the watches they wore confirmed it.

You'd hit the jack-pot.

Taishiro and Shota were making you see stars with every flutter of your eyes. The sheer material of your top was now pushed up and bunched by Taishiro's fist as he used it to bring you back towards his hips. "Just like that, baby".

Shota whispers, voice deliciously gravely as he looks at you with his gunmetal grey eyes. It slips out of your moan before you can stop yourself.

"Dabi" Taishiro pauses as he thrusts in while Shota cocks a brow from below you.

"T-Tomura" your eyes are hazy, Shota recognizes it even if you try your hardest to ground back to them. Taishiro pulls out and your knees buckle. His large hands hold you up while Shota stands so you can lean on his chest, gently stroking your hair out of your face as you babble on his shirt.

"Why", you gulp as your thoughts finally slither between your ears. Peeking up at Shota you frown, then turn to look at Taishiro whose offering you a glass of cold water. "Why'd you stop?" Shota presses the rim of the glass to your lips and you petulantly gulp it down. Your legs were still shaky so Taishiro effortlessly picks you up so you could sit on the seats instead.

Between that and here, mortification runs down your spine like ice. You curse, hiding your face in your hands as you curl in on yourself.

"Fuck, I'm really — I'm really sorry, guys" Taishiro rubs your shoulder, his sunny smile making guilt swallow you whole. This was a guy that would actually take care of you. Not lead you on with false expectations or monopolize you.

"Don't sweat it," Shota says as he wipes his mouth with the napkins in the room. Look at him, so reliable. So...responsible. Those broad shoulders were more than just for show.

These two would've made every worry you had to fade off. Probably spoil you rotten — but you don't feel anything with them.

You craved sweltering heat, the taste of metal in your mouth and on your skin - calloused, inked, hands and red-rimmed eyes staring you down.

You craved for those assholes.

"Exes?" Taishiro asks as you huff and try to calm your racing heart. "No, I guess? I dunno!" He offers you a grimace and fixes the wrinkles on your shirt while Shota gives you another glass of cold water.

"I really am sorry" Taishiro assures you but the knock on the door makes all three of your heads turn. Shota wonders if either of you had ordered another bottle of champagne but the dubious looks in everyone's eyes make him stand to open the door — he was the only one still fully clothed after all.

"Can I help you?" You're squeezing into your pants when Tomura's voice echoes.

"(Y/N), is he here? Just need to...talk to him" Shota's grey eyes ask you a silent question but you nod and stand so he opens the door wider.

Dabi's leaning on the wall across the door. Moody, disgruntled and cock so hard the tent in his pants casts a shadow on the leather. His arms are crossed over his chest, his biceps on display.

Tomura's half-dressed. Their shirt falls off one shoulder as his low-waisted jeans unabashedly show the happy trail he has. His messy hair is somehow even messier, his red eyes hungry.

"...Hey, baby" you could almost cringe at Tomura's words. You offer Taishiro a kiss on his cheek along with Shota as a way to ease them and thank them for your failed rendezvous.

The act has Dabi and Tomura's brow twitch.

The door closes behind you, The three of you stand in the hallway — tense.

A guy stumbles on the three of you, the drunken giggles die as he eyes you before he bursts into another fit as he stumbles past. Embarrassment dust on your face and you sigh, scratching the back of your neck in irritation. "What the hell do you want?" Tomura replies; "Those two made you cum pretty fast, huh? Or did they even manage to?"

His eyes widen as you snarl in his face, looking equally as handsome as you were scary. "Ugh! Why do I even give you two the opportunity to try and be anything but a dick!" taken aback, Tomura blinks as you shove him back before turning on your heels to stomp away.

Dabi grips your wrist and your yell gets swallowed by his lips. Tomura watches as he wrestles you to the wall, cushioning the slam with his body as he grabs onto your wrists to keep them from smacking Dabi.

"You — Mphf! Motherfuckers!" you mumble between the kissing, breath hitching as Tomura's lips trace your neck. Your hips buck between theirs and since Dabi's are free he grips your waist and spreads your ankles apart to put his knee right between your legs. The friction it creates has your heart racing all over again.

"Tomura" you whisper, head tilted back to let his pierced tongue in your mouth. You squeeze your eyes closed, hoping to push away that whisper of floating off to pleasure so you could at least show them that you weren't easy.

But all that resolve disappears when Tomura's hands sneak to unbutton your pants and Dabi's unzipping them. Their inked hands working in tandem, like a well-oiled fuck machine intent on making you lose all your senses in the goddamn hallway of a gay club.

"Daddy's got ya'" Dabi groans as he feels your wetness drip on his fingers. "Ain't that right, Shiggy?" Tomura mumbles that Dabi's daddy kink is dumb but unbuttons your shirt next.

"Yeah, yeah, daddy's got you, baby" Tomura plays along anyways. You would scoff in his face at his denial that he was totally into the kink himself but he's tweaking your nipples between his fingers and you're feeling your eyes roll back as your back arches away from Tomura but into Dabi.

He's between feeling impressed and annoyed at how easy you take three of his fingers. You can see it in the way he licks his teeth —

"Taishiro...fuck, his dick is so big, Daddy". It makes Dabi's eyes shine brightly under the dim lights. He's staring at you from his furrowed brows and Tomura grumbles as his magenta eyes glow in jealousy.

No — not jealousy. Envy?

Not quite, you think (how you manage to do that surprises even yourself) but something more primal.

Dabi slips another finger in and you sigh, breath hitching as Tomura's pierced tongue trails spit down your neck.

"Left me gaping, Shota made me so fuckin' wet too — He's so fuckin' good with his tongue".

Dabi is quiet "Couldn't fit him all the way but Shota helped - Ah, oh fuck, Daddy" Tomura's cupping your chest in his hands and grinding his hard-on on your ass.

"They felt so good" you groan.

When Tomura clicks his tongue and switches you around to face him you finally put a word on the emotions in their eyes.

Possessiveness.

"Yeah? They felt good, baby?" Tomura is forcing your jaw open with his hand and Dabi is pulling your pants down. Drool is slipping past your smudged lips and Tomura thinks you look like some sort of modern art piece.

A modern day Achilles or something.

"They did such a good job making this cunt ready for us, Daddy," Dabi says to Tomura as he pulls out his cock, leaning down to grab your leg and lifting it to the side, and thrusts his hip forward which makes yours jerk forward.

Glistening cunt twitching and inviting.

"Both of us could fit no trouble," Your eyes widen at the very idea but before you could speak Dabi's filling you up and all you manage is a whorish yelp.

Tomura watches as Dabi unbuttons his pants, moaning out his name as he strokes his hard cock then adjusts his stance as Dabi lines up his dick to your sopping cunt.

"Rub his dick a little," Dabi chuckles but complies as he rubs Tomura's cockhead to your dick which makes you shudder.

When Tomura does slip in, tears prick your eyes. Dabi shushes you as you whine and try to move your hips away. He rubs your swollen dick while Tomura licks your tears away.

"Don't hold your breath" he grunts. "Breathe through it, yeah, that's it — S'fucking beautiful".

The pressure of them inside you has your thighs twitching.

Anyone could walk in on you. Could just see you taking their dicks like some sort of sex toy with diamond tears running down your cheeks just like the slick running between your thighs.

"Feel us here, (Y/N)?" Tomura asks as he presses on your navel but you're too gone to respond. Your eyes are blanketed with nothing but pleasure and sin leaking from them.

"Daddy" Dabi calls out, hips shifting. He's calling for Tomura, calling him daddy as he tells him to set the pace.

Footsteps briefly register in your head, and a few startled gasps come from the group of men that walked in. They speak, laugh, probably leer even but you're just angry that their cocks make you feel this fucking good.

Taishiro had made you feel good — his dick was huge.

Shota's tongue and fingers that worked you open for Taishiro had made you nearly rip his hair from his scalp.

But Dabi and Tomura?

"Fuck!" you moan as Dabi thrusts into you. He's talking to the group of men walking past, panting through his words but that asshole has the gall to act as if he wasn't fucking you within an inch of your life.

Why was that so hot?

As Tomura's dick slides in, Dabi's pulls out - a steady but harsh rhythm that has your cunt fluttering and your brain fogging even more.

The men walk past, laughing as they give you a last glance. Somehow, their thrusting gets harsher as Dabi lifts you off your feet while Tomura spits on your cunt and rubs circles on your dick.

"Cuh-Cummin'! M'cumming! I'm - Ah! Shit! Shitshitshit" Tomura muffles your cries by kissing you, sucking on your tongue while Dabi's thighs tense as he shoots thick ropes of cum inside of you. Tomura is not far behind, the patch of pubic hair flushed against you as he catches his breath.

They carried you from the hallway. Your ragged breathing was the only thing being shared safe from a few murmurs of 'you alright?' the few seconds after they came.

You're in their private room now, sweat making your clothes absolutely disgusting against your skin. Thankfully, Dabi's there to strip you and Tomura's naked body is between your legs just as he's done.

"Wha —" you throw your head back as Tomura's mouth is licking the globs of cum escaping your abused cunt, squealing as he teases your asshole with his tongue. "Daddy!' Tomura hums, barely paying attention as he makes sure to erase any trace of that Shota-whatever the fuck his name is - from his hole.

"Daddy!" Dabi answers this time, somehow always knowing who you're actually calling just from the way you whine so there's no confusion.

"He's makin' you feel good?"

"Too muchhh" You try to push Tomura's head away but Dabi shushes you and holds your wrist to pin them on his naked thigh and makes you grasp onto his pierced dick.

"Our good boy can take it — If his daddies say he can, he can, right?" You sob but merely squeeze your eyes as Tomura's tongue piercing teases your dick.

"Missed our baby so much" Tomura pants out, licking his lips as he stares at your winking hole.

"Mhm, never gonna let him go...he's all ours now". Your fiery (E/C) eyes look up at Dabi so sweetly as he speaks despite how your sinful hand is teasing his cockhead like a true professional.

"All yours? Promi — Fuccck" Dabi chuckles as Tomura meanly sucks on your dick but nods, leaning down to kiss you.

"Promise, baby." He reaches to interlace his fingers with Tomura with one hand while Tomura does the same with your empty hand.

"All ours baby".

The sensor going off tells you that you should get off of Dabi's lap and greet the customer but he tightens his grip which makes you roll your eyes.

"Shiggy!" he's in the break room but responds with a 'I got it!'

He peeks in the room as he passes by, shaking his head at the sight of your boyfriend, Dabi, sketching on his iPad with you in his lap. "He's making a tattoo design for us" you muse as you reach for your boyfriend, Tomura, to plant a kiss on his lips.

"He sucks at that — I can do it better" and although it is true, the evidence quite literally on Dabi's skin, Dabi scoffs haughtily.

"Shut the fuck up and see who walked in" Tomura does so but not without an eye-roll.

He greets the customers but freezes as his eyes land on their figures.

Taishiro and Shota's eyes widen as well.

"Oh," Taishiro says. The sound of giggles comes from the hallway and suddenly Dabi and you are spilling into the room as well.

Taishiro and Shota couldn't hide the way their eyes look you over as they drink you in. They couldn't forget about you — they could hear every moan and squelch from your impromptu fucking in the hallway right in front of the door of their room.

All five of you shuffle a bit, cheeks warm.

Dabi chuckles and everyone's eyes are on him.

"We could flip the Open sign to Close and get to know each other better" he purred and you squeeze your thighs together as all eyes land on you.

Oh fuck.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Yo you know what

Miguel O'hara would be the BIGGEST trans ally on campus.

He hates transphobia. He hates anyone who entertains the idea or logic of it. He hates people who talk down about or scrutinize HRT.

And he really can't stand people who call trans people's genders and identity into question.

SO WHAT if someone feels the need to take an injection or pill to be at peace?

Miguel can't MAKE webs - not like a lot of Spider-people can. Okay. He's still Spider-man.

So what the hells the problem?

I said this in another post but like - he would NOT let that shit fly by him.

I am a strong believer in Mild Miguel who is literally just some dude -

But this is one thing he'll pop off for.

He hears a new recruit spewing transphobic bullshit on campus. Suddenly Miguel is fucking fuming, calls them into his office and is like

'Oh you think what people inject into their body to go about their lives in peace is your business? Is that right? You think someone's titles are up to you? Isn't that cute :)'

*starts throwing shit at them*

Like you would never question Miguels place as Spider-man to his face. The same way Miguel would NEVER let you doubt his identity as Spider-man, he'd never let anyone else doubt the identity of a trans person.

So you WILL gender Gwen right and you WILL say she/her.

He just finds it unacceptable. Miguel sees himself like - the manager of a company.

He thinks he SHOULD NOT have to be teaching people basic fucking respect. That's something you get at home and bring with you.

They're Spider-people. HEROS. If he has to explain such a simple concept to you- NOT being transphobic - he's already doubting your entire competency as both a Spider-person and like...an actual person lol

This is not a debatable thing. This is a two strike system with him. One warning with an apology, Second time - either punishment or he's just gonna fucking dismiss you.

He'd look at a transphobe and be like 'Go home. This Spider-man thing is very obviously not for you. You aren't welcome here.'

He will cancel meetings and call a member to his office immediately if a discrimination report comes in - YES HE DOES CHECK FOR THOSE REPORTS. He reads them personally.

If you're unknowledgeable, there's resources on campus and a Sensitivity Training Course.

He knows some universes just aren't up to speed with LGBT rights. Understandable - all there's resources there to help those adjust, integrate, and celebrate queer people.

The Society even has an LGBT center.

The Society has a robust and safe HRT care program that utilizes 2099 technology. There's trans educated therapists on campus and support groups. If you're stealth you can also get private services.

He'll PERSONALLY reassure any trans Spider-person that they are who they are supposed to be. And that their place in the universe isn't ruined by the fact they're trans.

He'd absolutely tell a trans Peter Parker that taking T doesn't make him less of a Spider-man by ANY capacity.

And that on campus they will be seen for the real person they are - not whatever transphobic labels their universe gives them.

The same way he compliments Lego-Spiderman, he'll try to uplift trans members and look out for them.

Like imagine walking into Miguel's office excited to tell him you started HRT at the center.

And he stops his filing and stops his conversation with Lyla to congratulate you, and tell you he's excited for you and your progress.

After a mission, when you come to report it to him he listens. And he waits until ur teammates are filing out to come over and ask how HRTs going, if you're feeling good, if you need any resource he can talk to Lyla about.

He always remembers anniversaries, walking by to drop a casual 'Three months.' and a thumbs up.

It's only a short little interaction, but it's still appreciated. He still cares.

Miguel would absolutely believe that no matter how you got to who you are - you are who you say you are. And no matter what other people say about you - you are who you say you are.

He's Spider-man and you're you.

And if anybody got anything to say about it he's going Miguel Mode

I love Mild Miguel. Mild Mentor Trans Ally Miguel