#like i've been putting off watching a show for the past three hours

[halfdeadwallfly]

i finally did my dishes after a week, and i was like,, ok,,, i'm gonna fold the laundry now too (it's been four days since i washed it). but to do that, i have to make my bed (it's the only big enough flat surface i have in my dorm). and now i'm halfway through making my bed, and all of a sudden, it's like,, oh my god... why am i doing this there's so much more i have to do i've wasted the whole night and i still have to sort out all my blankets and stuff and then fold the laundry and then heat up dinner and it's all sooooo sadgojhaoigh ughhhh like at this point it's basically tomorrow and i can't deal with tomorrow because then it's basically next week and i have work due then and like i can't even think about doing that, but i have to ,because i have to do it tomorrow, because everything takes so long and it's already basically tomorrow

basically why does time pass and why is folding the laundry so fucking hard

[freshxsturniolo]

4th July - FINAL PART - chris sturniolo x reader

life with chris had been a bundle of joy, as you knew it would be. his energy had only projected onto you and it was hard to not match his energetic and talkative self every time you were around him, which was admittedly a lot. your little happy bubble since he asked you to be his girlfriend a couple of weeks ago had only bought out a side to you both that you didn't even know was there.

you had spent everyday with him since, even though the two of you had busy schedules you made sure to slot in time for each other each day. you had also become insanely close with nick and matt, which was everything to you. you could roll up to their house whilst chris was busy with meetings and sit and chat to the both of them for hours, or you'd happily pull matt out for coffee in a morning when chris was still sleeping.

you felt your relationship growing stronger, everything around you both aligning.

as you sit on madisons sofa now, curled up against chris' side with music on in the background as everyone around you chats about everything and anything, you can't help but feel a surge of emotions you'd never felt before. you didn't want to say you loved chris, your relationship was fresh and you were aware that at any moment it could go the opposite direction, but there was definitely something there, bursting to come out.

when you had arrived at madisons house, she had opened the door and greeted you with open arms before she grabbed your hand and pulled you out into the garden where the three triplets where, with some other of madisons family and friends.

"its so lovely to meet you, i've heard so much about you over the past couple of weeks" madison had winked, and you had rolled your eyes before blushing slightly.

"he is a yapper" you laughed, playing it off cool whilst deep down your stomach was doing somersaults.

the minute chris had seen you, he had come running over. scooping you up in his arms and lifting your feet off the floor. you heard madison giggle at the side of you, and a whooping hallow from either matt or nick, but you had ignored it all as your wrapped your arms around chris' neck, giggling in his ear as his arms wrapped tightly around you. when he put you back down, he didn't waste no time before he planted a strong kiss on your lips.

"you came" he smiled.

you side eyed madison. "for madison" you said, and she had laughed at the side of you.

"put her down lover boy" madison had said, walking over and taking your hand. "shes mine for the evening"

and so you had been. you had played with her dogs, utterly and blissfully in love with them, whilst madison showed you around her house before the two of you grabbed drinks and sat by her pool. it was another warm day in LA and the sun shone down on all of you, the triplets playing in the pool like little kids.

"so," madison had said when your conversation had died slightly, and you looked towards her with a smile. "you and chris, huh?" she winked, which made you life as you changed your position so you could fully watch him in the pool. he was balanced on nicks shoulders, trying to keep upright whilst dunking nicks head into the water, a muffle of screams coming from them both. you laughed as you watched them both before turning back to madison.

"i feel like we are an extremely unlikely pair, but it just works." you smiled, and madison smiled in agreement.

"you are both so sweet, the love you have for each other is so evident"

your heart stops for a second, and madisons eyes widen when she realises what shes said. "oh my god, im so sorry. i didnt mean to get ahead of myself."

but you laughed. "its totally fine. its still early days but i defiantly feel something for him i dont think i ever have for anyone else."

she smiles now and looks over at the three triplets. "keep hold of that feeling, babe."

and when you turn to look at them to, chris is leaning against the side of the pool, his eyes firmly on you, and when he sees you looking he gives you the warmest smile. a smile you had never seen before, but a smile you could get used to.

so when you're lay against his side some hours later, listening to everyone around you chatter, and he taps your shoulder to pull you outside, you suddenly feel sick.

"are you okay?" you ask, and he laughs, wrapping his fingers around yours as he walks towards the kitchen, before pulling you outside into the evening air. the sun is setting, a perfect glow illuminating madisons garden, and sits down on an empty chair, before pulling you to sit on his lap.

"chris" you giggle as you practically fall down on top of him, before you reposition yourself so you're sitting comfortable. one of his hands around your waist as the other lays against your thigh.

you wrap your arms around his neck, leaning back slightly so you ca see him properly. his hair has curled more than you've ever seen it before from the chlorine in the pool, still slightly wet on the ends, and he looks blissfully tired. dark rims under his eyes, but equally he looks the most beautiful you've ever seen him.

"oh god, are you breaking up with me?" you suddenly say, and he rolls his eyes before leaning forward and planting a kiss on your lips.

"no, pretty girl."

pretty girl. you don't think you'll ever get over the pet name.

"oh, thank god." you chuckle, and he squeezes your thigh.

"i want to ask you something" he says, and suddenly he looks really nervous. looking down at your legs so he can avoid your eye contact. the gesture puts your heart in your throat.

"whats wrong?"

he looks up now and smiles. that same smile from earlier.

"you know how we fly to boston in a few days for our birthday?" he asks, and you smile.

"yes?"

"well, - and i've already spoke to matt and nick because i know you'll tell me you don't want to intrude, and i also know its taras birthday too, so im not expecting you to say yes, but, i wondered if you wanted to come with us?"

your stomach does somersaults. "chris-"

"if you dont want to its fine but, i just checked a minute ago and theres still spaces on the flight, and just ... i want you there."

your speechless for a second, and you can see him searching your face for an answer.

"matt and nick-"

he rolls his eyes jokingly. "they love you, babe. and -"

but he stops himself, looking down at your legs again.

your hearts about to damn near stop.

"and what?"

he looks up at you, the sun bouncing off his face. "watching you with madison earlier. fitting so perfectly with our friends. not being jealous or acting weird that we're friends with her. and, fuck i know its early, but i might just be in love with you. and you don't have to say that back. but i think i am. and i want you to meet my friends at home. i want you to meet nathan. i want you to meet my brother justin, and i want you to meet my mom and dad. they'll love you too and ... just. yeah."

you could cry. you could seriously cry. and as you look over his face, you know your feelings match. you know madisons words earlier are true.

so you say it, its almost a whisper but you say it. "i think i love you too."

his eyes widen, he searches your entire face before his hand leaves your thigh and comes to your cheek. "are you serious?"

and you laugh. "im so serious, chris. i'd love to come to boston."

"oh you're fucking perfect. you're actually perfect"

and then he kisses you. soft, gentle, but with all the passion in the world.

and everything in that moment just felt so perfect. everything in that moment was perfect.

you were completely and utterly in love with chris sturniolo, and you wanted the whole world to know it.

[flippinpancakes64]

cullens with a drunk reader??

The Cullens with a Drunk Reader

Thank you for requesting and hopefully you like this!

Also quick disclaimer I have never been drunk before so this is just gonna be based on what I've seen in like movies or TV shows

Please tell me if I got something wrong <3

Edward:

He thinks you are hilarious

Whether you're a happy drunk, an angry drunk, or a sad drunk, he loves it all

When he hears your thoughts normally, he can hear all these things that you never say

Well when you're drunk it just sort of all comes out

Is more than happy to help you walk somewhere, get you more to drink, and hold your hair back (if it's long enough)

Eventually though he'll put a stop to it

If it gets to the point where he can't hear any more of your thoughts and knows that you are on the verge of blacking out, he is putting an end to the night

Will hold you close the rest of the night

And he is at your beck and call when you wake up the next morning

Alice:

Again, she thinks you're so funny

Every time that you trip, stumble, or slur your words she is laughing her ass off

Loves listening to whatever you have to say

She would love to take you places or have you try to do stuff

Of course, she wouldn't let you get hurt

But she would find endless amusement out of seeing you fall on the stairs

She's not one to stop your drinking

She has been able to see your future for the whole night

She sees that you are still gonna wake up with a hangover whether you have 5 or 10 drinks

So she just lets you have your fun

Again is preparing stuff for you in the morning though

Jasper:

He gets just a little annoyed

Don't get him wrong he thinks you're amusing

But his idea of a fun Saturday night isn't making sure you don't break something or hurt yourself

So he mostly limits you to one room of the house + an activity

One time he got you to sit still for three hours while you were drunk just coloring in some old coloring book he found laying around

His favorite is karaoke night though

Will put a random sing-along song on the TV and watch you sing for hours

He'll stop you after a while though

With just a simple "okay enough fun go to bed"

Has something made for you to eat when you wake up

Rosalie:

Ok I have some thoughts about this one

We all know her backstory

A group of drunk men + her fiance violently and brutally SA'd her and killed her

So I don't think she would be too fond of alcohol

So you drinking around her would bring up those old memories

She tries not to take it out on you, though

Mostly would just leave the house

She'd be back in the morning though

If you drink excessively though, she would get angry and yell at you about it

But every once in a while she understands

Just don't drink around her

At least not for a while

Emmett:

He loves it

He just finds it so funny

He can tease you endlessly and if you're too drunk all you'll be able to reply with is some slurred nonsense

He's an enabler though

Will challenge you to beer pong and other drinking games

Half of the drinks you take are from him

It's not that he means to get you blackout, it's just that he's having fun and forgets that you can't consume endless amounts of alcohol

He won't put a limit on you though

He would only notice that you need to stop if you pass out of throw up

And then he's in panic recovery mode

Is a little embarrassed and concerned the next morning that he let you get that out of hand

He repeats the cycle though

Esme:

I feel like she'd be a wine girly

Or like a brunch mimosa kinda girl

If she was alive, that is

I feel like that was her when she was alive, anyway

She wouldn't know what to do with someone who is fully drunk

Her past experiences have only been with people who were a little buzzed

She does think you're amusing though

But she'll be a lot more hover-y

Won't let you go anywhere on your own

You are in bed by 12 at the latest

You wake up to a feast and every single headache pill the local pharmacy had

Carlisle:

He's a little more concerned

He has people come into the clinic for alcohol related injuries (overconsumption, drunk driving, various accidents while intoxicated, etc.)

He knows the damage it can cause

Also if you are younger than 21 good try he is not letting you drink

But other than that he is a mama bear

Watching you very closely

Literally counting the ounces of alcohol you have to make sure you stay under a healthy limit

And don't even think about leaving the house

He's a bit too worried to find your shenanigans funny

But that's okay

He makes up for it by being there for you

Bella Swan:

Another one who is just amused

She never got out much

She regrets never having drank alcohol while it could still affect her

Unfortunately that means she does live a little vicariously through you

Is playing bartender and giving you everything she makes

They're pretty bad

But you still drink them

Doesn't realize she's given you too much until you literally fall to the floor and pass out

Then she's like "oh shit"

Doesn't really know what to do though

So she has Carlisle take care of you

Apologizes profusely the next morning

Would still do it again though

[hellodarling1357]

Could I request Cassian taking care of sick reader? Love your writing!

Sick Days - Cassian x Reader

Of course you can!

I've just realised every fic I've posted the past week has had Cassian in the kitchen cooking, clearly I have a type

Enjoy 🥰

Word Count: 2.7k

The sunlight filtering through the crack in the curtains had you groaning and shoving your head further into your pillow – well, Cassian’s pillow. You were currently sprawled across the bed, burying yourself into his scent and longing for the warmth he had left behind.

With another groan, you forced yourself to sit up, blankets heaping into a pile around your waist, as you blearily blinked and looked around the room in a stunned manner. The pounding in your head was throwing you off but you knew for certain that, despite the closed curtains, the light peaking through meant it was well past morning and you had somehow slept for a few too many hours and missed training.

You heaved yourself up, stumbling over the sheets that wrapped around your feet and made your way to the bathroom. The splash of cold water on your face helped to clear the haze that encompassed your mind, but you still found yourself blinking back at your reflection with a frown – you looked like shit.

Bloodshot, glassy eyes framed by dark circles and a sallow, pale complexion stared back at you. A shudder ran through your body and you felt physically pained at the mere thought of getting dressed.

Still, you should at least try to do something productive with your day.

*****

Clumsily wrapping your dressing gown around yourself, you headed towards the kitchen, thinking that maybe some food would get you feeling right again. Your heart softened as you walked into the brightly lit space, finding your mate with his back to the doorway as he put together his usual post-training breakfast.

“Well good morning, sleepy head,” he greeted, still with his back turned but obviously sensing you were there.

You made a noncommittal noise in response as you slumped onto one of the bench stools and continued to watch Cassian potter around the kitchen.

“I tried getting you up this morning,” he continued, “but you wouldn’t budge. Figured it was best to let you catch up on some sleep rather than get my head bit off about it later.”

He turned to you then with a teasing smile that quickly changed to one of concern as he took in your appearance and miserable expression.

“What’s wrong?” Breakfast long forgotten, Cassian was by your side in an instant, but you just brushed him off.

“I’m fine,” you mumbled back, “Think I just slept weirdly or something.”

Still looking at you with a worried expression, Cassian let you sit in silence for a minute as he got you a glass of water, encouraging you to take at least a few sips despite your reluctance. It did help, but the coughing fit that hit you afterwards took you back a step or two. Cassian ran soothing circles across your back, eyes full of concern.

“Y/N,” Another set of coughs before he continued, “Sweetheart, you’re sick. Come on, let’s get you back to bed.”

“Cass, I’m fine. Besides, got things to do today.” You refused to accept that you could be sick, making a show of giving him a big, thoroughly unconvincing smile as if to prove it.

“You’re not fine. Go back to bed, or run a bath if you think it’ll help. I’ll let Rhys know we’re both off the next few days.”

You grabbed his hand as he made to turn away, no doubt to find Azriel to let him know as well.

“Please, I am fine. It’s just a small cold if anything. Stop fussing over me. I’ve got to– “A tickle in your throat set off another fit of coughs. “I’ve got to go finish off some work.”

And with that you quickly walked out of the kitchen before he could convince you otherwise and made your way to the small office you used in the House of Wind to finish off said paperwork.

*****

Cassian let out a sigh as you left. You had been together for over three centuries, he knew exactly how this would pan out and knew there was no point in telling you what to do; firstly, you would refuse the fact that you were sick until it hit you full blast and you were barely functioning then, still in denial, you would claim that you were “just a little bit sleepy” and end up curled up against him for the next few days feeling completely miserable.

So, no. Cassian wouldn’t force you to go back to bed or to take a break while you still felt ‘fine’, if anything it would just make you even more determinedly stubborn. Instead, he set out doing little things that would help you in the long run; a pot of soup simmering away on the stove top, impromptu massages, cups of water, and lots and lots of tea.

Azriel had cleared out upon hearing you were unwell. For starters, he didn’t want to get sick, and, despite loving you dearly, he also knew what a pain in the ass you could be when you were unwell and decided that it was Cassian’s problem to deal with.

With the supply run done, and instructions for the house set in place, Cassian started on his ‘get-Y/N-resting’ routine by knocking on your office door to ask if you wanted to have lunch with him out on the balcony. Finding that you had started to lose focus on your work, absolutely not because you were sick, of course, you agreed and followed him out. Cassian smiled to himself; he could tick off food and fresh air for now.

An hour later, he knocked on your door again, steaming cup of tea in hand that he set down beside you, checking over the desk and noting that the house had been filling up the jug of water as you drank it. Good.

“What’re you working on?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of you head as he stood behind you, hands coming up to your shoulders as he started to kneed away the tension.

“Just some… paperwork.” You had already forgotten what you had been trying to read for the past 15 minutes, having barely gotten past the first two sentences before attempting to process the information all over again. Shutting your eyes, you lent your head back against him and focused on the way his fingers felt as they massaged your shoulders and neck.

“Riveting stuff.”

“Hmm.” Was all you could think to reply.

Cassian gave your shoulders a final squeeze, pressing another kiss to the top of your head before taking his leave.

*****

For the next hour, Cassian gave you your space and attempted to catch up on some of his own paperwork, one eye steadily watching the clock. When the hands ticked over to a random 17 minutes past the hour, so as not to cause any suspicion, he jumped back up and grabbed the fresh mug of tea the house had made appear beside him.

He cautiously poked his head into the office when his knock had received no answer, heart fluttering at the sight of you face first on the desk, a slight snore escaping you. Quietly placing the mug down, Cassian crossed the room and gently scooped you into his arms. He stilled when you stirred against him, finally continuing towards your bedroom when all you did was nuzzle your face closer against his chest, letting out a sigh as you took in his scent.

Cassian gently placed you on the bed, changing you into one of his old shirts that you loved to sleep in, before tucking the blankets tightly around you. He stripped down whilst properly shutting the blinds so no light could creep in and then made his way back to bed where he settled down beside you, absentmindedly playing with your hair as he reached out to Rhys and asked if he would be able to organise for Madja to put together a tonic for you.

“Cassie?” Your sleep filled voice had him looking down at you with concern; you only ever called him that when you were drunk or feeling really unwell.

“I’m here, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” You shuffled further into him, “Cassie, I’m not feeling well. I think I’m… I think I’m just gonna sleep for a bit.” You mumbled, causing him to smile slightly as he shifted further down the bed and wrapped his arms around you.

“Love you, Cassie.” He almost missed your whispered words that sent his heart beating at a rapid pace.

“I love you too, doll. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”

*****

Feeling you beginning to stir beside him, Cassian carefully detached himself from your embrace and headed to the kitchen to put together a tray of everything you might possibly need including water, tea, tissues, crackers, bread, and soup. He quietly re-entered the bedroom, placing the tray on the small table before gently sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Y/N?” You blinked up at him with a sleepy smile.

“Hi,” You croaked then frowned at the rasp in your voice, with a groan asking, “How long was I asleep?”

Cassian helped you sit up, piling the pillows behind your back so that you could comfortably lean against them.

“Just over five hours,” He watched you for a moment as you blinked the sleep from your eyes, opting for the glass of water he had set down next to you. “Feeling any better?”

“Mhm,” You replied, “I feel fi– “

“Please don’t say you feel fine,” Giving you a warning glance, Cassian picked up the bowl of soup. “Now, you either put away your pride and try to eat just a few mouthfuls of this, or I will sit here and feed it to you myself. Either way, you need to eat something.”

Grumbling, you took the bowl from him and reluctantly ate from it. You gave your mate a look, hoping to prove the point that you were, in fact, fine, but he just rolled his eyes at you and lent against the headboard, letting a comfortable silence fall.

However, the more food you ate, the worse you started to feel.

“Cass…” He was there in an instant, taking the bowl from you as he pressed a soothing hand against your forehead.

“Shit, you’re burning up. What do you need?” He was already guiding the glass of water to your lips before you had even needed to ask for it.

“Thanks,” you quietly said, missing the glazed look that took over Cassian’s eyes as he reached out to Rhys asking if he could drop off the tonic from Madja, he was not going to be leaving your side anytime soon.

Cassian placed the empty water glass on the bedside table and gently pulled you against him, arms wrapping tightly around you and running soothing trails up and down your back as you rested your head on his chest and let out a miserable sounding sigh.

“Rest, sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere.”

And with that your eyes fluttered shut again, slowly falling into a deep sleep, lulled by the warmth and comfort of your mate.

*****

You weren’t sure how long you had been out when the sound of whispered voices from the other side of the door brought you back to consciousness. You had just sat up when Cassian reappeared, doing his best to close the door without disturbing you.

“Hi.”

He looked up, startled to find you awake. Smiling softly, Cassian made his way over, sitting on the side of the bed and placing a kiss to your forehead.

“Any better? You’ve got a bit of colour back.” He observed as he started fussing with the pillows and blankets around you.

You grabbed his hands to stop him from adjusting everything for the third time and asked, “Who was that?”

“Rhys. I asked him to drop off a tonic for you, from Madja. Here.” He removed the stopper from the bottle and handed it over to you, eyes assessing your expression for any sign of your previous I’m-not-sick-I’m-fine attitude. To his relief, you drank it without complaint, the slight grimace at the taste being the only sign of any discomfort.

You slumped back against the cushions, still holding onto Cassian’s hand as you looked around the room in disdain.

“I hate this.”

“I know.”

“No, really. It’s the worst.”

“And if you rest, and let me help you, you’ll be better in no time.”

Giving Cassian an unimpressed look, you let out another sigh. You were feeling a little bit better now that you had slept and eaten, but you still weren’t feeling great.

“What are you even doing here?” You suddenly asked.

Cassian almost looked offended at your comment, fixing you with a questioning raise of an eyebrow.

“I just mean… Why are you here, now you’re probably going to get sick too. I don’t want to get you sick.”

“You won’t get me sick. Well, you might, but I really don’t care. You’ll be here to look after me, right?” The wink he gave you had a small smile pulling at the corner of your mouth.

“So,” He continued, “for now, you’re going to let me take care of you–”

“You already have been.” You interjected; Cassian brushed your comment away and pressed a chaste kiss to your hand.

“And part of me taking care of you is telling you that I love you, so, so much. While also being able to tell you that you’ve been in bed all day, and you’re starting to smell which is why I’m going to run you a bath and clean all of this up, so that everything is nice and fresh for when we cuddle later.”

Ignoring his jibe about you, apparently, smelling, you teased back, “I wonder what all of your soldiers would think about you, their brave, strong, fearless General, putting aside time to cuddle.” It didn’t quite hit the mark when you burst into a fit of coughs that had you letting out a small whimper in annoyance.

“I think,” Cassian said, helping you get out of bed once you had caught your breath, “they would be incredibly impressed after realising I’ve had to deal with your stubborn ass for the past 300 years.”

You poked your tongue out at him but still gratefully took his arm and let him guide you to the bathroom when your head began to spin at the sudden movement.

Helping you to undress and then lowering you into the warm water, Cassian kissed the top of your head and said, “I’ll be right back.”

You could hear him moving about in the bedroom and you willed your eyes shut as you listened to him, deeply breathing in the steam and the smell of the soothing bath oils.

Cassian re-entered the bathroom, placing a pair of your coziest pajamas on the bench before kneeling behind you where he softly started to wash your hair. More than content to relax into the soothing feeling of his fingers working their way through your scalp, you lent into his hands and let your mind empty, only moving when you were prompted to “move forward a little bit” or to “sit up” as your mate continued to help bathe you.

Sleep started to wash over you again as the tonic kicked in, sensing this, Cassian helped you out of the bath, drying and dressing you, before he picked you up and carried you over to bed. He helped you lean against his chest so that he could comb through you wet hair, the only noise filling the room were the soft noises you made at the feel of it.

“You’re too good to me,” You sighed once he had finished, resting your head against the pillow as you watched him get ready for bed, “thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips, despite your protest of not wanting to get him sick, and asked, “Can I do anything else?”

“Hold me?”

“Always.”

You closed your eyes as Cassian’s arms wrapped around you, content on letting yourself drift to sleep with Cassian slowly trailing off beside you.

[xiexiecaptain]

The biggest thing I've learned to help manage my ADHD in regards to getting things done is to Follow Those Impulses

(I'm not saying this will work for or is even a good strategy for everyone, but in my own situation it's helped me.)

I'm like allergic to consistency in schedule and cannot enforce one on myself so all it leads to is self-loathing and failure. Trust me, I've been attempting to will-power, shame-fuel my way through it since I was a preteen (I'm currently almost 30.) It does not work for me.

Obviously medication can give me a huge leg up on stuff. But beyond a certain point my brain is simply not wired for long-term sustained consistency.

As in many of my issues, I've found that working with myself gets better results than fighting myself.

When I follow those sudden impulses of interest and motivation, I get things done.

To the outside, I look absolutely haphazard. I'll pause a show I'm watching mid-sentence, stand up, and go empty the dishwasher because my mood/brain/chemicals *ping*ed that it was suddenly do-able and not a huge overwhelming task. Or I'll be putting away laundry and that *ping* will go off and I'll spend three hours re-organizing my closet.

To a neurotypical, this looks like distracted and disorganized behavior.

To me, it's following the way my brain naturally works in order to accomplish tasks.

My ADHD manifests in that I experience very small and unsustainable windows of motivation and interest. So when I feel that window crack open, doing the Thing right then (when the situation enables me to) can mean the Thing actually happens. Even if it's not the thing I'm "supposed" to be doing.

With a neurotypical in that situation, they might be putting away clothes and think: "Oh, I should organize my closet. I have time this weekend, I'll do it then," finish putting away their clothes, and then organize the closet when they had free time that weekend.

I used to try to do things that way too. Because it was how I was taught that "responsible, real people" did it, and had "finish one thing before you start another" drilled into my head. But I'm literally not wired to work that way. And I've been working on undoing that internalized ableism of believing one way of doing things is better and I need to change to adhere to it. I don't and shouldn't be expected to to my own detriment.

For me with the closet example, the weekend would come and I would spend 5 hours screaming at myself to stop working on whatever did have my interest in order to go organize the closet. Sometimes I might ended up doing it. More often, I would not be able get myself to do it even after all that. I would just sit there, yelling at myself, hating myself despite my brain literally not having the chemicals to initiate the activity (let alone follow through) and nothing would get done. Not even the thing I wanted to focus on instead.

The only thing I did accomplish was hating myself for not being able to do "simple" things like other people (read: neurotypicals.)

This is basically how I spent the majority of my schooling; doing simple tasks felt like running in sand. And I internalized all the messages that told me it was my own fault I couldn't run as fast and in as straight a line as those running on pavement.

The past few years, I've been trying to follow impulses more. And its honestly been really helpful.

I get more done even if it isn't a "consistent" amount or I can't always count on having a specific thing done by a certain date.

But the big thing is that I spend less time hating myself for not doing what I "should" be and more time actually doing things when I have the motivation for them. More shit happens, I'm undoing some of that self-loathing.

tl;dr: My advice for fellow adult ADHD-ers is:

Try to learn what your natural rhythms are and, where possible, try leaning into them. Without judgement, try working with your natural tendencies rather than battling them at every moment. See how it feels, see what you accomplish (and not just in the capitalistic "productivity" way--spending 3 hours hyperfocusing on researching the history of wheat germ counts!) See how your brain and body feel.

Your brain is wired different, let yourself operate different.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling my sister that I didn't find her instagram post funny and that I didn't want her to send me things like that again?

I (32f) have never had a good relationship with my sister (34f). We have gotten somewhat better over time, but we have always had a strained relationship. We are about as opposite as you can be. Social rights issues? No compromise. ACAB? Constant disagreements. Politics: best never mention them. TV Shows? No interest at all. Music? We cannot stand each other's music. We genuinely have nothing except our blood and the fact we were raised by the same people in common.

I am currently in the process of finishing my PhD and live on a different continent to her. We have been vaguely trying to talk and maintain a cordial friendship from afar.

For the past four months I had been preparing for a conference that I was organizing, leading, and moderating. It was a massive project that will be a huge part of my dissertation research, and it went very well. The day after the conference I had a long career planning discussion with some academic advisors, and spent about three hours talking in my second language with my own advisor. The combination of everything left me genuinely exhausted to the point that I woke up the day after it all still too tired to move.

After I woke up, I realized I had a text from her containing an instagram link - no comment, no notes, no context, just the link. I know I wasn't in a perfect headspace and still needed more sleep, but I clicked it because usually she just spam sends me instagram videos about random baby rearing things she finds funny. I don't find any of them amusing, but tolerate them because she seems to enjoy it. I usually just nod my head or offer a few responses to show I've seen it and move on.

But this video was different. This video was, as far as I can tell, an influencer attempt at selling an AI. It had a young woman walk into a classroom with the onscreen text describing how "my professor is the same age as us and she has her phd!" and when she was asked how she got it, the video shows how the "teacher" went onto Youtube, put Youtube videos into this AI which created an algorithm to summarize the video. It ends with the words "University is a joke in 2024".

I was....genuinely offended. After everything I had been through working on this conference and with years of thesis work, I was just hurt. I watched it a few times, trying to understand what it was even trying to say, and could come up with no good reason for why she would just send it to me. So I wrote back to her "idk how you even want me to respond."

She said she thought it was funny, and I asked her if she understood why I wouldn't find it funny. She wrote back "because you lack my sense of humor smh." I tried explaining why I was upset and reframed it in the context of her job. She doubled down that she thought it was funny, but that it was because she thought it was amusing anyone would think they could get any kind of degree like that.

I explained that AI is genuinely a problem in universities right now and that our students are using it to get through their classes and it's causing a lot of chaos with profs trying to crack down on it. Then I told her it felt like she sent me something just to annoy me.

The argument continued from there. I asked her not to send me stuff like that again, and she asked how she was supposed to know I would be triggered by an AI video, and that I was being oversensitive, and how it was my fault for always assuming that she is plotting to piss me off and that she can never show an interest in my life without me having a "feelings dumpfest" and calling her out for being a bully.

I don't understand how she could think sending a video to me saying "university is a joke in 2024" with no context at all would be taken as a joke in the first place. And I felt like if I didn't tell her I didn't like this kind of video and why it made me upset she would keep sending things like this to me I'd have to keep seeing and ignoring future posts.

AITA for telling her I didn't think it was funny and to stop?

Should I have just ignored it and gone back to sleep? (At this point that's what I felt like I should have done...)

What are these acronyms?

[fetishfairytales2]

Under the Bed, Pt. 2 (Story)

I smirked at Connor, "Thank you Daddy.” I said, bowing my head submissively; “I’m your kinky bitch." I turned my attention to Brandi, who was too scared to move now. "You see, cupcake, I asked my friends for a little favor. They've been saving all their used condoms for the past three months, just for you." As Brandi's eyes widened in horror, I disappeared into the closet and returned with two plastic containers, both half full. I explained that they attach to the dildos too. “When the microphones hear me moaning just right, not only will I be getting filled with spunk, but you'll get to experience it too." I laughed as Brandi's gagged face paled at the thought. "Looks like you'll be getting cream pied along with me, whore."

"Remember this, Brandi?" I asked with a grin, rolling eyes, holding up her old VR headset. "You used to love this when you were a big boy. But now that you're a sissy little girl, it's just a useless toy. Thankfully, Daddy helped me fix it to be more suitable for you. Now I can force you to listen to sissy hypnosis, turn on the noise cancelation and sensory deprive you entirely, or turn on the microphones up here and then you would be trapped listening to the sounds of me and Daddy fucking while you’re trapped down there, hot right?”

"That’s not all though! The headset can do one more super special trick," I said with a giggle as I placed it over her eyes. "Watch this," I said slyly as I switched the camera to video mode and crawled onto the bed. "Are you crying? Poor thing, is your little cock aching in its cage?" I teased as I twerked for the camera, giving her a perfect view of my ass in my skimpy g-string under my skirt. "Daddy made it so the camera is always tracking me! So imagine what else you’ll have a front row seat to! You’ll be able to watch me get fucked from so many different angles!”

I crouched down next to Brandi again; "don't worry, Mommy's got something even better for you to watch," I said, flipping a switch and causing Brandi to panic immediately. I let her suffer for a few minutes before turning off the headset completely. "Complete sensory deprivation," I explained to the trembling sissy. "The headphones will block out all noise and the screens will surround you in darkness." I booped her on the nose. "Just imagine how terrible it will be when I lock you down there like that for hours on end... and trust me, I will."

"Mmm," I purred, tapping my finger on my chin and savoring the thought of my final surprise for the little sissy slut. "Oh, can’t forget about this…" I pulled out a silicone mask from the drawer, which was wide enough to hide the wires of her dildo gag, cover her nose and mouth, and had a long hose running out of it. "I know it might be hard to breathe down there for you Brandi, but that's all part of the fun, hmm? This fun little toy here will allow you to fill those little lungs…when I allow it." I smirked as I attached the hose to a small mechanical box. “This hides under the bed too!” I explained with fake excitement. “Anything I put in this box? All of the air you breathe will smell just like it! How exciting is that?”

I held up a very dirty diaper in one hand and two pairs of panties in the other. “This disgusting mess, Brandi,” I said, showing her the full diaper, “this is from you last week. If you're a naughty sissy, you'll be breathing in this stinky diaper all night. “And these,” I giggled, “are my very dirty thongs. I've been wearing each one for an entire week, and quite a few of Daddy’s loads have probably leaked into them by now. I even wore the black pair to my workout earlier today, so they're extra nasty. If you’re a good girl, I’ll let you breathe in my nasty cum filled panties instead!”

"Come on, sweetie, don't you wanna try your new toy?" I asked, sliding the mask over Brandi's face. She was so overwhelmed that the poor sissy didn't even try to fight back. "You're going to watch, hear, and feel every bit of the mind-blowing sex that you can't have anymore!" I chuckled, giving a nod to Connor who lifted Brandi up by her arms and took her to the bed. " Time to get our little princess ready for some playtime," I giggled.

I gave Connor a wicked smile as we saw the bed return to its normal height. "This is gonna be a blast," I giggled playfully while he pulled me in and kissed me passionately, easing me onto the bed. "I want it from the back tonight, be rough baby," I moaned, feeling his hands wander under my skirt. "I want her to feel you inside him, fucking her hard and fast while she watches my face. I need her to know how obsessed I am with your cock." 

“Wow you're twisted, babe,” Connor laughed as he pulled off my dress. He teased me, tracing his finger along the waistband of my thong. “But whatever you want!” He flipped me on my back and grabbed me by the hair, pulling me to my hands and knees. I felt him tug down my thong to my knees. "Get ready, slut," he whispered. Fuck! I was moaning just feeling his hard cock teasing me, rubbing against my 

clit. “Tell me how much you want it bitch.” It was so hot when he treated me this way. I couldn't even decide if I was more turned on by Connor dominating me or by thinking about how Brandi was suffering.

This was the best idea Connor ever had. I got all the dick I could want and poor Brandi was stuck, watching every second up close! Of course, before we sealed her cucky coffin, I made sure to add lots of Brandi’s dirty diapers in with her and taped the messiest one around her face. Connor started deep thrusting into me and I screamed for more. “Harder, daddy! Harder!” Fuck I was horny. I needed every inch of him inside me. The harder Connor fucked me, the more our sissy cuckold would be spitroasted by those massive cocks. “Don’t stop baby please,” I screamed right into the camera; “I want you to fuck me all night.”

The end.

[withahappyrefrain]

If your requests are still open, please may I request number 23 from the fluff list for our favourite cowboy Rhett Abbott? I've never watched Outer Range but thanks to Tumblr I'm now obsessed with him 😍 I am also crazy obsessed with your writing and have spent most of my lunch hour reading through your work. You are one talented lady 😘

Hello folks, I present Smitten!Rhett. Some language, lots of pining. I can't write a blurb to save my life.

Shoutout to @rae-gar-targaryen for reading over this and giving amazing feedback and being the reason why I was able to end this fic

You stood out like a sore thumb at the bar. 

The neon lights highlighted your sweet smile. How your eyes lit up and the corners around them crinkled. The way your nose slightly scrunched up as you waved your delicate hand to the bartender. The flex of your jaw as you called out your drink order.

Rhett couldn't take his eyes off you. Every motion, every little gesture, every small change was memorizing.

It made no sense to him that an angel like you was in a place like this. Not the bar, but Wabang of all the places. It just didn't add up. 

He was already three glasses of straight whiskey in. Normally that wouldn't bother him. Certainly wouldn't stop him from going up to you and making a move, just like he did with all the other buckle bunnies.

But that's not what you were. Rhett couldn't put his finger on it, but you were different somehow. He just knew it. So he just stayed in the corner of the bar, stealing glances when he could, observing you chat to other folks.

Disappointment flared through his heart when he saw you accept your check from the bartender. A whole night had gone by and all he had done was just stare at you.

Disappointment was beginning to morph into anger at himself when the most incredulous thing happened.

You peered up through your lashes, your bright eyes meeting his.

And then you smiled at him.

Your smile put him at ease. Rhett could feel all the tension leave his body, a lightness replacing the anger and bitterness he could never shake off until now.

By the time he had processed it, you were gone.

So Rhett looked for you everywhere after that night. He offered to go to the store, go into town for any little thing. He even went to church with Cecelia and Amy.

Not that he paid any attention to what the pastor was saying. Instead, his cerulean eyes searched for your face amongst the crowd, desperate for another encounter-one where he could actually talk to you.

Who needed heaven when you existed?

After no luck the following week, Rhett began to sink into despair. It was entirely possible  that you had just stopped by that one night, a pitstop in-between visits. It was entirely possible he would never learn your name, much less what your voice sounded like. You would just represent a million what-if's, a million regrets, a million-

"Can I get a gin and tonic?"

Rhett gripped the glass of whisky in his hand. The voice was sweet and lithe. It was comforting, like finding an old toy from your childhood that had been tucked away for many years.

Part of him didn't want to look, afraid to find disappointment. He shouldn't be afraid, considering all the disappointments life had handed him in the past.

Somehow he got the courage to look up. and suddenly, all the other nights he had come in to only leave alone and disheartened were worth it. There you were, at the bar, just a few feet away.

Rhett's eyes followed you as you grabbed your drink and walked over to a booth. You were alone.

Maybe you were waiting for other folks to show up. Maybe friends, maybe a date. Rhett's stomach lurched at the thought.

He didn't usually have a problem going up to girls and talking to them. In fact, he was known for it. He knew all the tricks; a tip of the hat to them, cranking up the drawl in his voice like a dial on an old radio, as he leaned in to whisper something dirty in their ear that he never meant, but it would get them into bed with him that night. 

And yet, the only thing he could (barely) get out when he walked up to you was, "Is-is this seat taken?"

You looked up to find eyes as deep as the sea staring at you.

A hesitant smile stretched across your face as you took him in. Meanwhile, Rhett was trying to count all the different hues in your eyes.

"Depends on what you're hoping to get out of it," you told him before taking another sip of your drink.

"A conversation?" He looked down at his feet, hoping you wouldn't be able to see that the tops of his cheeks were turning pink. Rhett feels himself flush with an uncommon sense of embarrassment, he feels stupid for thinking someone like you would want to talk to some cowboy who's more known for the notches on his bedpost than the number of successful rodeos he's been in.

Rhett was about to turn around, mumbling an apology when your voice stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I'd like that."

It wasn't until you motioned to the empty spot next to you that Rhett believed what you said.

Talking to you was the easiest thing he had ever done. The conversation flowed freely as you two talked about anything and everything under the artificial lights of the bar.

You were new to town. The reason Rhett never saw you throughout the day was because you were a teacher at the local elementary school. It was also why you didn't come to the bar that often. You taught fourth grade, the solar system was your favorite subject to teach and you had a cat named Rusty.

Rhett was a man of few words, except apparently when it came to you. For the first time since God knows when, he found himself comfortable talking about himself. What bull riding was like, growing up on a ranch, dumb shit he did in high school.

Every time self-doubt began to creep its way into his head, trying to tell him that no one, especially you, wanted to hear him, your bright eyes and sweet smile reassured him.

He liked it. He liked you.

Which was why when he saw sleep in your eyes, he said "We should do this again."

"I think we should," you grinned, the gesture making Rhett's heart flutter.

And so that's what you two did. You would meet up, sometimes at the bar, sometimes at the local diner. Occasionally, Rhett would take you out to the pasture and the two of you would lie in the bed of his trunk with pillows and blankets while you watched the stars.

No matter the location, the two of you would just talk, learning about each other as much as possible. Trying to make each other smile as much as possible.

"You have a great smile, you should show it more," you told Rhett, secretly enjoying how the tips of his ears were turning pink at your compliment.

"You make that easy," He muttered, slyly grinning at how your nose scrunched up, a tall tale sign that you were flustered.

It was true. Life was a lot easier to swallow when you were around. You were the highlight of his day and he counted down the minutes until he could see you again.

Rhett never thought about married life until you came along. He always assumed that wasn't for him, given his numerous failed attempts at being in a relationship. After Maria, he assumed that it just wasn't in him.

Perhaps there wasn't something wrong with him. Perhaps he had just been with the wrong people.

Because he could envision that life with you so clearly. It was easy to imagine with you. 

It was why Rhett saw red when he walked into the bar one night to see Billy Tillerson talking to you at the bar.

That shithead wasn't paying any attention to what you were saying, he was too busy staring at your chest.

At first, Rhett wanted to go over there and punch him. But then that would put you at risk of getting hurt. As much as Rhett would love to give Billy a broken nose, he didn't want to hurt you.

So he opted for the next best thing.

"Hey Rhe-" your words turned into a shriek upon Rhett picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing.

"Back off Tillerson," Rhett spat as he carried you out of the bar, ignoring your demands for him to put you down.

"What the hell was that about?!" You asked once your feet were back on the ground. You two were outside the bar now, ignoring the strange looks from the other bar patrons.

"Did you see how he was looking at ya? He didn't want to actually talk to ya," Rhett huffed.

"I figured that out within two minutes. But I was handling him just fine!" You placed your hands on your hips, matching Rhett's stance.

"I don't like him being around ya."

"And who are you to tell me who I can and can't be with?" It wasn't that you wanted to be around that Tillerson. Moreso you wanted Rhett to define what you two were. This dance you two had started had been going on for about a month now. It could end one of two ways: you and Rhett happy or you heartbroken. You'd rather know the ending now.

Rhett knew that too. Which was why he took a deep breath and stepped forward.

"I'm your future husband, and probably, father of your future children." His voice was soft. Ironic, considering his words took the air out of your lungs.

"Probably?" Was all you could get out.

"I mean....we haven't talked about kids yet," He said, a sheepish look mixing with his flushed cheeks. His cerulean eyes that you thought about every night before you went to sleep were now looking everywhere except you.

"You haven't even kissed me yet, Rhett."

“I mean….I can fix that right now,” He ran a hand through his dark blonde locks, attempting to display some confidence after his whisky-fueled confession, “If-if you want.”

It was clear as day that he was nervous. Not that you mind. You had heard the stories, had been given all the warnings from your friends about Rhett Abbott. That he was only interested in three things: rodeos, drinking, and fucking. That he only looked for something quick that would satisfy his needs that night, leaving in the morning to never talk to you again. 

But that’s not what happened when you met him. You were careful to keep your guard up, not that it was up for very long. Rhett broke down your walls, washed away all your hesitation with his attentiveness and sweetness he showered you in. When you spoke, he didn’t just listen. He hung onto your every word, like a child desperate to hear the end of their bedtime story before sleep took over. 

For a while, you knew that he actually liked you. Knew that if you did take him into your bedroom, he wouldn’t run away before you woke up. But knowing and seeing it in action were two different things. And in the back of your mind, a seed of doubt still sprouted. 

Until now. 

“I was beginning to think you never would,” You smirked. 

Now it was your turn to knock the air out of Rhett’s lungs just by a few words.

“Minx,” was all he could get out before he captured your lips in a bruising kiss. You could taste the remnants of whisky on his lips. The way his large hands were able to cup not just your jaw, but nearly your whole neck made you feel safe and secure. In that moment, nothing else mattered; not the bright neon lights that lit up the bar sign, or the onlookers telling you to get a room. All that mattered was that Rhett’s lips were soft and they were on yours. 

“How many kids ya want?” He asked after you two parted for some much needed oxygen. 

At first his words confused you, then you couldn’t help but chuckle when you made the connection, “At least three. Maybe four. Depends on how I feel when we get to our third one. You’re going to kiss me again, right?”

And Rhett was never one to refuse his lady.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

@rhettabbotts @mothdruid @sebsxphia @theharddeck @sovereign-lights @mxgyver

[elvisabutler]

for my own private collection

summary: having a boyfriend who's a pornstar means everyone gets a piece of him. you request a piece all for yourself. fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: austin butler x female reader word count: 1217 warnings: austin butler as a pornstar. edging. masturbation ( m and f ). orgasm control. mild daddy and mommy kink. mild dom/sub undertones. sex tape? me making one joke re: one night in paris. author's note: welcome to day 17 of kinktober, sex tape with austin butler. this was fun. everyone thank @dreamersparacosm for this being pornstar austin because i struggled a little with this because my previous attempt felt boring. this does not feel boring.

"You know you could just buy one of my movies, right? Or- I'm pretty sure I have them on my hard drive. At least one, you know the one with Liv and Luke-" Austin starts to say before getting cut off by your answering huff over the phone.

"Yes, because I enjoy watching one of my best friends getting railed by my boyfriend and one of my other friends. Makes total sense, babe." Your tone is biting and not for the first time Austin is reminded of why everyone nicknames you Viper after every time they're on the receiving end of this tongue of yours. "No, I want- everyone else gets to see you play with your cock, beg for mercy from Olivia all sorts of things. I just- I want to watch you. I want to only see you."

Austin sighs. "A personal tape?"

"I- I didn't think of it that way, but yeah. I wouldn't pay for it, obviously but you could give me that. One Night in Austin." You have to bite your lip at your own joke, it's not funny, really especially after knowing the details behind Paris Hilton's tape, but still you think it's a little funny.

"I was about to say yes, but I don't know if I can after that Paris Hilton joke." He pauses and tries to bite back his own laugh. "Give me a couple days, okay? Three tops, depending on the mail."

"You're sending it via the mail? Are we in the 90s?" You ask incredulously, shaking your head at the phone.

You can actually hear Austin's shrug and picture his face. "No, but if you want something private for only your eyes, I have to go low-tech."

After all, he's got enough of a following that he doesn't put it past anyone on the web to somehow hack into his email and get the video. He's seen it happen with his ex and he's seen it happen with so many people in the industry. Better safe than sorry. You hum in acknowledgement before letting the topic go.

When the mail arrives on Saturday you're excited, it comes in an unmarked envelope with Austin's looping handwriting writing out your address and the note attached simply says "for your eyes only".

It takes you a minute to set up your blu-ray player to play the DVD but when you do you settle onto your bed and watch your boyfriend wave at the camera, grinning his signature grin that he reserves only for you.

"Someone wanted a show, a private video without paying." He smirks, moving to show off how he's completely naked. "She's lucky I'm kind of in love with her."

You can't help but laugh at the comment before you focus on what he's doing. You notice he's already hard, leaking and that he almost looks like he had been playing with himself before he turned on the camera. Your hand moves to between your legs, slowly starting to rub at your clit, you think you should grab your vibrator but knowing how Austin is- how his cock already looks, you don't think this is going to be long.

"I've already been playing with myself, baby." His hand moves to stroke his cock, hissing as his thumb brushes the tip. "Been telling myself that my girl wants to get a show and I know what she'd like. What she likes when we're together." He pauses and grips his cock a little tighter. "Been wanting to come for a little bit already. If you were here you'd be edging me for hours, wouldn't you?"

He's not lying and you know it, as much as you enjoyed being edged by him- seeing his relief after you let him come was something else. Seeing how his mouth would fall open with whimpers and sighs did something else. Your breathing quickens as you feel your cunt getting wetter, feel your juices starting to pool as you watch him.

"You've got your hand in your cunt, baby? Your vibrator? Playing with your clit as you watch your baby boy play with himself?" The video of him has him murmuring low enough that when you shut your eyes you swear he's there. You swear you can feel his body in front of you, feel his breath against your cunt. "Are you just waiting for Daddy to tell you that you can come? That you can stick your fingers into that greedy cunt of his."

You whimper at the words and Austin's video laughs. "You can't decide which one of me you want, can you baby? I wish I was there. Wish I had my face buried in your pretty pussy. Wish I could see you dripping for me."

It's as if your pussy hears him, and you find your fingers are sliding quicker- easier with the increase in fluid coming from you. You are dripping for him and he's barely done anything on camera. Is this how everyone felt when they watched his videos? Your teeth bite at your lower lip as you keep watching, your breath coming quicker as you tease your clit.

"This is a long video, baby, tell you what. You come for daddy right now. In the next minute or so, and I'll spend the rest of this video just edging myself. Begging mama to let me come. Begging my favorite person in the whole world to let me come."

The noise that leaves your mouth is embarrassing or would be if anyone other than you were around to hear it and you have to stop yourself from shoving your fingers in yourself before you hear another laugh from the television.

"I know you had to have liked that. You make a decision? Time's a ticking and I- I'd hate to know that this was wasted because you didn't come at least this first time. Come on, baby. Come for Daddy. Come for me as my reward for making this for you in such notice."

Your chest is heaving as you furiously play with your clit, wishing you actually had grabbed the vibrator, it would have made this quicker, would have made it so you didn't think you were going to run out of time. Your ears faintly register hearing Austin countdown from one minute and somewhere around 15 seconds you start to panic, start to try every trick in the book to get yourself to come. It never usually takes this long when you're focused. Austin gets to five seconds and you're right there before you hear it. You hear the one phrase said in the one tone that always does you in. He makes himself sound like Elvis, an old trick he picked up from a silly porno he did right around when you met him but the accent always does you in.

"Let yourself go."

You come with a shout at that just as Austin says one on the screen. The amount of fluid that comes out of you makes you pretty sure you squirted but you're not a hundred percent sure. When your eyes open you're greeted by Austin looking at the camera with hooded eyes and a smirk. "Good girl. Now Daddy's favorite and best girl gets her reward. You ready for round two?"

[bts-hyperfixation]

Brotherly Betrayal

A Jeon Jungkook Fanfiction

Summer madness 1/33 You've been dating your high school best friend for three years now, pretty much since you left high school. Lately, though he hasn't been able to make it home from college to see you as often as you both might've liked... His brother, Jungkook, has decided this is completely unacceptable and wants to show you how his little brother should really be treating you.

"Hey! I was watching that asshole!" You huff as Jungkook changes the channel.

"Tough shit, it's my house." He sneers in response.

You roll your eyes but settle back into the sofa defeated. It is his house after all, much to your annoyance. He spends a moment flicking through all of the available channels and you can't help but roll your eyes. If he didn't know what he wanted to watch there was no reason to change over from your show. You make sure he is aware of your displeasure and he glances back at you, clearly annoyed by your display of dissatisfaction.

"Why are you even here? Your loser boyfriend is not even home." He points out.

"He was supposed to meet me here an hour ago, but then his train got cancelled. Your mom let me in, and told me to stay the night." You shrugged.

"Ugh, I hate that she loves you so much." 

You smirk at him.

"You'd think you'd be used to me by now, I've been your brother's girlfriend for three years now, his best friend for even longer." 

"You'd think after three years you might actually love him..." Jungkook trails off, switching his attention back to the TV and leaving you to stew without a comeback. 

You don't really have a response, you know deep down he is right, you just didn't think anybody else had noticed. You really had hoped you would grow to love your boyfriend like that. He had always loved you like that, and at 18 it seemed like an ideal situation, fall in love with your high school best friend, the perfect fairytale story, only it never progressed past fondness for you. Now it felt a little like you were stuck. 

You loved his family (brother excluded) and he meant a lot to you, it just wasn't romantic. 

You stare at Jungkook, studying the smug expression on his face, clearly pleased with himself that you'd finally fallen silent. He finally puts on a K-drama, putting on the subtitles for you automatically and tosses the remote well out of your reach. 

There have been a couple of times recently when you've spent a lot of time alone with Jungkook. Your boyfriend was getting busier and busier preparing for his master's degree in the fall, so he ended up having to cancel a lot of plans last minute. You attended some family BBQs without him, Jungkook being one of the only people you knew well enough to cling to, much to both of your disdain. 

Today was just another addition to the evergrowing list of quality time. 

You must've fallen asleep at some point because it's morning when you wake up... Wrapped in the comfort of your boyfriend's bed. You don't remember getting up and moving but you must've. You shake it off and traipse downstairs where you can smell breakfast being cooked. 

You expect to find Mrs Jeon at the stove but are treated by the well-toned, naked back of Jungkook.

"Can you at least pretend to keep your eyes off of me? What would my family say if they saw you so openly pining for me?" He asks turning to face you.

You spend a second blinded by his abs before your brain manages to reconnect to your mouth.

"You wish Jeon!" 

"And you keep pretending it's my pathetic excuse for a brother you actually want."

It's starting to sound a lot like he is jealous, but that's absurd. Jeon Jungkook has never once shown interest in you beyond a vague dislike the entire time you've known the man. 

"It is your brother I want." You state.

"You've always been a terrible liar." he counters. 

He turns back to the breakfast that he was preparing, the slight smell of burning starting to permeate the kitchen. You can see the way his jaw clicks in frustration as he serves up the slightly charred meal on two plates. 

"Are you jealous?" You ask genuinely.

"Of that twerp? never..." He passes a plate to you.

You eat in silence. He never once looks at you, but you can't stop yourself from studying his features. His brows furrow in annoyance and he stabs at the food with more force than necessary. 

"Seriously what's the problem?" You ask.

He huffs and pushes the plate away from himself taking a breath before he looks up at you. 

"Look, let's not make a big deal out of this, but lately it's been getting more and more difficult for me to be around you..."

"I'll take that as a compliment shall I?" You say sarcastically. 

"That... that's not what I mean." 

He makes his way around the breakfast bar and spins the barstool you're sitting on to face him properly. His arms cage you in, preventing you from turning away from him. 

He just stares at you for a moment, a war raging behind his eyes as he thinks of the best way to phrase his words. You spend the silence really taking in his face. It's been a long time since you've really looked at Jungkook, the last time might've been over a decade ago when it was still appropriate for you to play fight together. You used to take him on single-handedly every time he made a disheartening comment towards one of your friends. Of course, he would immediately flick you away like a little bug, pinning you down until you were the one that apologised, but your friends had always told you it was the thought that counted.

Being the brat you were, you would remain pinned under him for long stretches of time, refusing to apologise until his mom came out and pulled him off of you. 

The way his arms sat on either side of yours reminded you a lot of back then, a lot of the little crush you'd been harbouring for years before you grew up and thought the flame had blown out...

"He doesn't deserve you." That is all he says when his words finally come out.

"Who are you to say what he deserves?" You ask.

"Because I know who he really is, and I know what you're worth. And it's so much more than he will ever be able to give you."

He kisses you before you can organise your thoughts enough to respond. 

It's feverish, almost desperate, the kind of kiss you see in movies when men go off to war when they aren't sure if it's going to be their last. You don't respond. You just let him kiss you but you don't make any moves to deepen the kiss, even if every bone in your body is screaming for you to. This doesn't seem to deter him, his arms sneak around your waist and he lifts you against him. It finally occurs to you that he must've carried you to bed last night. 

Eventually, his lungs give out and he pulls away but his arms don't leave you, he holds you close. You can feel every muscle in his stomach pressed against yours as you are suddenly very aware of his shirtlessness.

"Jungkook..."

"Don't tell me no... please..." He whines, breathless. 

"But... I can't do this to him... and I know you don't want to either." 

"I don't give a shit about his feelings Y/N. And deep down I don't think you do either. Plus you guys have been drifting apart for weeks now. It's finally my time to have you, please don't make me stop."

His hand comes up to your face, pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger, keeping you in place and looking at him. 

Your heart jumps and you struggle to come up with a way to say no when he is looking at you earnestly. You've never been so lost for words in your life. He is the only person who has ever made you feel this way, and it's always been the same, even when he was barely acknowledging your existence. 

"O..kay." You whisper.

His lips are back on yours in seconds and he is pulling you upwards. Your legs wrap around his waist as he pushes you back to sit on the breakfast bar. His mouth trails from yours, down your chin to your throat, biting gently as he goes leaving little bruises in his wake showing exactly where he has been.

You throw your head back and moan as he sucks harshly just above your collarbone. His fingers dig into your thighs as tries to get impossibly closer to you.  You grapple at his hair holding him to you as you focus on the feeling of him in your arms. He is bigger than his brother, taller, and his hair is longer. The dark curls wrap through your fingers making it so easy to pull him along where you want him. 

You use that leverage to bring his face up to match yours. Instinctively you kiss his nose as it becomes level with your face, and he whines.

"We need to move this upstairs, right now." He groans.

He takes your hand and pulls you off of the countertop. He doesn't lose your hand as the pair of you run up the stairs, past his brother's empty room and into his. You barely get a chance to look around before he is leading you towards his bed, pulling you into his lap as he sits down. You straddle him happily, your legs stretching over his thick thighs. 

His fingertips reach for the hem of your shirt and you lift your arms to accommodate him easily. Slowly his tattooed hand traces over your newly exposed skin as his other arm holds you upright against him. 

"So pretty." He breathes. 

His face dips down to your chest, burying his face into your cleavage. The hand on your back works blindly to remove your bra. He pulls at the front of the garment with his teeth until the straps fall down your arms. He doesn't remove it completely, just abandons the fabric as his teeth return to bite at the soft flesh of your breasts. His tongue circles around your nipples gently. He can't stop himself from nipping at the unmarred area surrounding them leaving even more marks behind as he went.

"Finally mine." He pants in between bites. "Do you know how long I've waited to claim you like this? My brother could never make you feel the way I'm about to."

"You talk a very big game, Jeon. I'm yet to see proof" You grind down against his lap.

He growls possessively and flips you with ease. It winds you slightly. He licks his way down your stomach, only pausing as he reaches your sweats. He pulls them roughly out of the way so his tongue can continue along all the way. You bite your lip just as his tongue hovers above your clit, but he doesn't go any further. 

You can feel his hot breath against you, but he makes no movement to suggest he is going to go any further. 

"I thought you were going to prove it?" You say leaning up on your forearms to take a good look at him. 

"Beg me to." He retorts

His head between your legs looks like something out of one of your dirtiest dreams.

"Have you ever heard me beg? What makes you think I'll start now?"

"Oh, I've heard you beg... through my bedroom wall, late at night when you think we are all asleep. I've listened to you beg him to come to bed and stop ignoring you. I definitely think you can beg me for something we both know I can actually do for you." 

You can feel your ears turning red with embarrassment, if he heard you begging his brother to come to bed, what else has he heard?

"Oh I've heard so much come from that room... the walls are so thin. It's why I know for a fact you are loudest when he isn't even there. It's like you wanted me to hear you. Pretty little slut, you probably knew I could hear you pleasuring yourself." He kisses along your mound waiting for you to speak.

It might be true that sometimes you had spent time masturbating alone in the room next door... and occasionally your mind might have wandered to the eldest Jeon brother, but not even for a moment did you think he could actually hear you. 

"Come on Y/N, don't make me beg you to beg me." He punctuates it this time by smacking your bare thigh, the sound echoing through the room. 

"Make me feel good, please prove to me how good sex can really feel" You whine.

He spanks your thigh again.

"Who are you begging Y/N?"

"You... Jungkook please."

He hits your thigh three more times, enjoying the little whimpers it drags from your lips each time. 

"One more time, Y/N, tell me what you really really want from me." He laves his tongue over the red marks left behind by his hand.

"Jeon Jungkook, I am begging you, please put your hands and tongue all over me. Make me cry from how good you make me feel." You thread your fingers through his hair and direct his mouth back to your awaiting pussy.

He chuckles, the hot air making you shiver as it ghosts against your awaiting heat. He wastes a little time wriggling your trousers off completely, making a show of chucking them to the floor. He then slides off the bed completely, kneeling on the abandoned garment to protest his knees. He strokes down each of your legs softly as he places them on each of his shoulders, the movement deceptively soft compared to his next move of using your thighs to tug you across the duvet towards him. 

Once again his face is perfectly aligned with your clit. His tongue darts out and teases the little bundle of nerves, You jump as he makes contact but his arms wrapped tightly around your legs keep you firmly where he wants you. 

He flattens his tongue against you, running it along the entire length of your folds. He teases your entrance slightly, circling the hole before dipping the tip of his tongue the slightest amount. He moans at the taste and you watch amused as his eyes roll into his head. It doesn't take longer for the humour in your eyes to disappear as he returns his attention to your clit. He sucks hard, occasionally flicking his tongue to create variation. It feels amazing as he focuses only on your pleasure. 

Your stomach ties in knots and just as you're starting to feel a little bit too empty, one of his arms is unwrapping from your thigh. He immediately inserts two fingers inside of you, not even pausing as you cry out from the sudden intrusion. The stretch burns as he hooks his fingers inside of you, pressing directly into the sweetest spot. You cum so fast you barely have time to grab onto the sheets. 

As the feeling washes over you, you start to squirm hoping to stop the onslaught of pleasure, but he won't let you worm away from him.

"Come on baby, you can take more than that." He says before attaching himself to your clit with more fervour than before. 

You can't do anything but whine as he continues his onslaught. A third finger buries inside of you, stretching you more than you're used to. Your hands come down to his hair, clawing at his scalp.

"Say my name." He demands pulling away from you and focusing on the movement of his fingers

"Jungkook."

His thumb begins rubbing across your clit in place of his tongue as his mouth takes up biting the surrounding areas.

"Say it louder."

"Jungkook!"

"Tell me who is the only person that can make you feel this good."

"You Kookie, only you." Something about the nickname makes the man go feral. 

He surges from the floor in between your legs so his face is back level with yours. The hand between your legs doesn't stop, the orgasm building quickly. His pupils are blown and his chin is soaked with you. He bites at your lower lip before kissing you harshly.

He swallows your whines as you cum on his hand for the second time, but still, his hands don't rest. He pushes through that orgasm to tip you over the edge quickly into a third wave. 

"It's too much." You whisper brokenly in between kisses. 

"No such thing as too much pleasure." 

Tears are forming in your eyes when he finally pulls his fingers out from inside of you. 

"Kookie, I feel empty." You complain. 

"You won't for long." He says, you can feel him jostling with his belt but you don't look down, memorising how he looks above you. 

You're positive there has never been a more sinful image on this earth. His long hair is a mess framing his face, his brown eyes look even darker thanks to his lust-blown pupils, and his mouth starting to purple from how hard he has been kissing you. 

You think about commenting on his appearance, despite the fact you likely looked similar. Before you get the chance, his dick is rubbing against your folds as he uses your cum as lube. Your eyes leave his for a fraction of a second, darting down to get a glimpse of his cock as it slides into you.

"Look at me." He snaps. "Don't ever stop looking at me." 

You obey instantly, meeting his gaze as he slowly sinks into you.

Three fingers should've been enough... it would've been with your boyfriend. But Jungkook struggles a little as he pushes into you. You try to relax but it's difficult, it feels so good to have him filling every inch of you. 

His brow furrows and his eyes close in concentration. You reach up and smooth the little wrinkle, the way you'd always wanted to when you'd seen him frustrated in the past. 

He leans into the touch but his eyes don't open. 

"You feel too good." He groans as he finally bottoms out within you. 

He stops for a moment allowing you both to catch your breath. You wriggle a little, Suddenly aware of the fact your legs are still balanced on his shoulders, bending you almost in half. He must notice your discomfort because he immediately moves his arm so you take one of your legs down. Both of you hiss as it causes him to move slightly inside of you. 

"I really thought I was going to be able to last longer inside of you. But you feel way too good."

"I don't think I can take another orgasm." You admit

"You can take whatever I give you," he states.

He begins to pump slowly at first, but he builds speed steadily. His teeth are gritted as he struggles to keep himself together. 

"Play with yourself." He demands and you obey.

It stings a little as draw circles around your clit. You rest the heel of your hand against your mound and you can feel every thrust as your tummy bulges. The tears sting in the corner of your eyes again as you bring yourself closer to the edge. You clench around Jungkook and can feel him start to falter with less confident strokes each time your pussy contracts around him. As you cum he teeters over the edge. 

He groans loudly as he comes down, sliding out of you as carefully as possible. He fetches a towel from his en suite while you wriggle back to put your head on the pillows. He lies down next to you and wipes carefully around your overly sensitive folds to clean you off. When he is finished the towel is thrown in the general direction of his hamper and he lays with his head on your shoulder, arm possessively over your stomach. Neither of you speaks, dozing off slightly.

You're not awoken until much later...

"What the actual fuck!?" Your boyfriend screams from the doorway.

This did have a user name of jjkgurlcedes attached but I can't find them here or on AO3

Ask Box - Please send me thirsty/funny/angsty bts thoughts

Masterlist

Summer Madness Masterlist

[kangshxrtie]

ch. 7 ⤍ calvin klein

you were laying in bed scrolling through twitter and posting on twitter. you had been laying there for almost three hours now when you got a facetime from kazuha.

"KAZUHA!" you greeted excitedly only showing your forehead on the camera.

"hey" unlike you kazuha was already up, dressed, and at her desk with her phone balancing on it. "did i wake you? sorry i thought you were up"

"no" you shook your head, "i need to get up now i've been on twitter the whole morning"

"i saw" she chuckled.

"oh you saw that..." you slowly set your phone down leaving it to look at the ceiling going to scream into your pillow.

kazuha just laughed in response and once you were done screaming you picked up your phone like nothing just happened, greeting her again. "so how's your morning so far?"

"it was great. woke up to some great compliments, really felt the love" she responded.

"that's great. glad i could make your morning great" you grinned sitting up in your bed.

"i would ask how yours was but i can already tell by this call"

"why are you even up so early? we had the same night last night"

"i have to edit and post some videos to my channel. you make an appearance by the way"

"oh, did you do me justice"

"you'll have to watch it and see" kazuha grinned.

"please spoil it" you begged.

"my reacting to seeing you for the first time is in there" she told you.

"wait there's a clip! why haven't i seen it?"

"sakura recorded it. it wasn't on live"

"now i'm scared" you said nervously.

"don't be it's a good reaction. i didn't know i was on camera so mine is more embarrassing than yours, trust" kazuha laughed.

"i get to see kazuha down bad" you exclaimed, "and for me, it's the best day of my life. i can die peacefully now"

"i can't wait to film this video with you" she said.

"already can't wait to see me again?" you raised your eyebrow at her.

"oh definitely i haven't stopped thinking about you since i first met you" she said sarcastically.

"i knew it, you're obsessed with me already" you joked.

"definitely" she joked back.

"i'm obsessed with you too kazuha if that makes you feel better" you said.

kazuha suddenly hid her face before saying, "glad the feelings mutual"

you looked at the time seeing it was almost 2:00 in the afternoon, "well i should probably get up now"

"yeah, and i have to finish editing this video, i'll talk to you later" kazuha waved goodbye.

"bye bye kazuha" you hung up the phone and screamed into your pillow once again after you were sure the call was over.

you took a couple of minutes to cool down before making your way out of your room into the kitchen to eat something.

"did you scream?" gaeul asked when you came into the kitchen.

"no, wasn't me" you denied.

"oh. it was really light and you have noise canceling so i assumed it was you"

"probably hyunseo. you know kids, plus her room is really far" you looked in the cabinet as you spoke.

just then hyunseo walked in.

"are you okay, i heard you scream?" gaeul asked.

"i didn't scream. it was y/n. i walked past her room when she did it" hyunseo told her.

"snitch" you mumbled under your breath.

"fine. i was on the phone with kazuha and i screamed after we talked. don't tell rei or yujin" you threatened them with a random straw you got off the counter.

hyunseo made a motion saying her lips were zipped and you nodded contentedly before pointing the straw at gaeul.

"i'm won't tell them as long as you keep me updated on what's going on with you and kazuha" gaeul said.

"nothings going on we're friends" you said.

"that scream says different" gaeul muttered.

"i'll agree though" you finally put the straw down.

"is this why rei calls you down bad?" hyunseo asked.

"don't listen to rei. she's a bad influence" you told the younger girl before making your way into the bathroom to get ready for the day. you would eat later.

ALL CHAPTERS !!! | NEXT CH !!!

i need friends to play games with

[mirai-e-jump]

+act Magazine July 2023 Issue ft. Masashi Ikeda Interview (translation below)

Publication: June 12, 2023 (between episodes 15-16)

"First, please tell us how you were chosen for the role, and what you were thinking when the decision was made."

Ikeda: I originally auditioned for the role of one of the main five warriors (kings), and wasn't selected, but, there was an audition for the additional warrior (Jeramie Brasieri). When I was chosen to play the role of Jeramie, I was more confused than excited. Then, the realization slowy began to sink in, and my heart felt full of excitment and anticipation. I've been watching tokusatsu shows since I was a child, and I've always had a strong desire to become a hero. My favorite show was "Kamen Rider 555," and I was such a huge fan that I had all the transformation belts. But even still, it feels strange being chosen to be apart of a hero production.

"After appearing in a Sentai series, many of the actors are still active, as it's considered a gateway to success for young talents. What are your thoughts on this?"

Ikeda: I would like to grow as a person throughout the next year. I'm not content with just being in a situation that's considered a gateway to success, so I want to perform as well as the other actors, and I want to do my best as to not destroy the legacy or quality of the past works that my seniors have created.

"The character of Jeramie plays a very important role, but what was your first impressions of him?"

Ikeda: Since Jeramie is a "storyteller," my first assignment was to narrate the story. What I thought was most interesting, is that Jeramie has been narrating since the beginning with Episode 1. It's unusual for a hero to also narrate the story.

"Your first task was to record the narration, right?"

Ikeda: That's right. Actually, at the time, I myself didn't completely understand Jeramie. I also wasn't familiar with doing narrations, so I had a hard time trying to put Jeramie's character into it. In order to convey Jeramie's emotions, the director gave the advice, "Try moving like you're in a play," so I tried speaking while doing a flashy pose and putting my hand in my hat. It's a recording, so luckily the cameras weren't turned on (laughs). I tried various things out, so it took two to three hours to record the narration for Episodes 1 and 2. The phrase "tosa" was created at that time. It wasn't originally written in the script, but the director had the idea to, "add in "or so it goes" at the end."

"The phrase "tosa" is a strong and memorable one, isn't it?"

Ikeda: That one phrase helped me a lot. The unique way of saying "or so it goes" was the foundation of Jeramie for me, and I was able to envision his character.

"Jeramie is a character of many strong traits. In official material, it also describes him as having an "annoying personality" (laughs)."

Ikeda: Ahahaha! He's pretentious, has a high sense of pride as a storyteller, and has a repetitive way of speaking…Even still, I try to be conscious of the lines I perform, and try to speak in abit of a joking way, or speak with alot of tension when it comes to things he doesn't understand. Jeramie is 2000 years old, he's composed, and enjoys talking to people. That's the kind of character I try to create when performing.

"In regards to Jeramie, what did you and the director discuss about?"

Ikeda: Reading the script, within his annoying, awkward, and narcissistic personality, you can also find a cute and innocent side of him. We discussed how we should remember those points, and express them in order to make him a well loved character. Actually, when I'm told something happy or sad, I react to them honestly and show my true emotions. I'm the type of person who understand emotions easily, so I hope I'm able to show that off.

"How did the other warriors react to such an intense character?"

Ikeda: Everyone said, "You're a nice character. I'm envious" The way he appeared in Episode 11 was very cool, he may be the narrator, but he has an intense presence. He's not just weird and annoying, he wants to help the world for the better more than anyone else. Jeramie's father is a human, while his mother is a Bagnarak, and although he has complex feelings about being a "child of love," he is a pacifist who has a strong desire to help those living in difficult situations, and wants to stop the war between the humans and Bagnarak.

"On the first day of filming, were you deeply moved by the fact that you were finally able to join the heroes you had been longing to work with?"

Ikeda: When I first appeared, I was wearing the Spider Mask that hid my face, so I didn't really feel it then. But, when I was able to let go and take off the mask, I thought, "Uwa! I'm finally going to become a hero!" and an excited feeling overtook me. When we were filming the transformation, I thought, "What should I do? What kind of face should I make when I transform?…" (laughs)

"What kind of things were you conscious of during the transformation scene?"

Ikeda: Jeramie's fighting style is brilliant. He can manipulate spider webs at will, uses his two weapons, a dagger and shooter, he can fly around, and is very smart. When I transform, I don't do it with a lot of enthusiasm, but rather, with a sense of grace. However, the pose is a abit "pretentious" and is kind of annoying (laughs). To transform, I bend my body back as much as I can while saying "Royal Arms." Suspended by a wire, my body flies up, and in a blur, turns into Spider Kumonos, but it's also filmed from the camera above me. It was the first wire acting in my life, and when they first explained the moves to me, I was like, "Eh? We're going to do this?" It was surprising (laughs). Furthermore, my body felt really stiff, and even though they said, "You're not bending at all," I really was bending to my limit…The action director said, "It's difficult for beginners." He also said, "I'm know I'm asking you to do something impossible," but I felt frustrated that I couldn't do it, and my back and abdominal muscles were sore the next day (laugh).

"Do difficult transformation scenes await you in every episode?"

Ikeda: That was the main one for Episode 12, so I won't have to do it every time. However, the director told me to, "Keep my body soft," because it might happen again in the future. That's why I'm going to work hard on my flexibility and try to become even closer to Jeramie.

"What are some highlights to expect in Jeramie's future?"

Ikeda: The relationship between the five kings, Racules, the Bagnarak, and the consequences of their actions, will be the main highlights as the story unfolds. But, how will Jeramie be involved, and what kind of relationship will he have with other Bagnarak? I think it's worth paying attention to see what Jeramie's up to, and I hope you will look forward to the movie being released this July.

[nerdthatsiriuslylovesteaxx]

Helpless part 13 (Hello I hope someone is listening)

"Morning Death boy."

"What time is it?"

"Eight o'clock I the morning."

"Goodnight Giraffe."

"Get up, we're getting breakfast."

"Let me sleep."

"Nope." Nico was refusing to get up so Will decided to do the only logical thing and pick him up.

"Put me down Solace."

"Don't think I will Death breath."

"That's a new one."

"Thought of it on the spot."

"Good for you Sunshine, now put me down."

"Not a fan of that idea." Will ran, carrying a very pissed Nico. "Hey Percy."

"Hi Will, should I ask why you're carrying Nico and also how you haven't gotten murdered yet?"

"Well he wouldn't get up so it was to only logical solution."

"Fuck you." Nico muttered,

"I wish you luck on not getting murdered."

"You know I could just shadow travel away?"

"No you quite literally can not, it would kill you."

"Great."

"Neeks."

"Do you have a death wish Will?"

"He's harmless."

"I have killed people William."

"I can confirm this, I was nearly a victim."

"Let's not forget you also tired to kill me."

"Why are you two trying to kill each other?"

"We don't talk about that."

"He's annoying as fuck." Percy and Nico said at the same time, locking eyes with each other, leading to a mildly concerned Will.

"Okay.... I'm going to pretend this never happen." Will placed Nico on the floor.

"Finally."

"Di Angelo, me and Jason-"

"-Jason and I."

"Not you to, same thing. We have decided to kidnap you, you're finally joining us on the big three table."

"Why exactly?"

"You'll get lonely."

"I'm perfectly fine being alone."

"Too bad, sucks for you."

"Stronzo." Nico muttered under his breath before waking off to join Jason, Percy went to follow him but Will pulled him back.

"Make sure he eats three full meals a day, shove it down his throat if you have to. I'm not joking, if he's refusing to eat or drink hold him down and make sure he eats for the next few months. I don't know how he's still alive at this point."

"I'll make sure he eats; mate you alright? Your eyes are bloodshot, when's the last time you slept?"

"A few days ago, I'm fine."

"A few days?! Mate, you need to sleep."

"I'll survive, pure chaos in the infirmary. Oh, don't tell Nico this but, you know how Aphrodite kids can speak French because it's the language of love? I can speak Itallian because it's the language of music, so if you were wondering, when he walked off he called you an asshole."

"Eh, not surprising. I'll catch you around Will."

"Yeah see you round." Willl walked off to join his siblings at the Apollo table.

***

"Don't think we didn't hear that, you're taking today off and no night watch until Tuesday." Kayla said pulling Will down and shoving a piece of toast in his hand, "And you're eating breakfast today, you've skipped it for a week."

"I've been busy."

"Would you like me to show you a list of every single person you've told to stop skipping meals? Let me start the list, Nico, Selina, Leo, Beckendorf, Annabeth, Michael-"

"Okay, okay you win. But I can't take the day off-"

"Not optional, go pine over Nico for the day or something. Maybe even, you know, sleep? Can't remember the last time you did that, more than a week."

"Oh shut up."

"Actually, I have a great idea." Austin interrupted, "Go talk to Cecil and Lou Ellen, they tired to kidnap you many, many times."

"Shit, yeah I should probably go talk to them." Will tried to get up but was held down by his younger siblings,

"Not so fast, you're still eating breakfast." After being force fed three full plates and swearing on the river of Styx that he would get eight hours of sleep that night he was finally allowed to leave.

***

"Finally, we missed you. We've been waiting for you to get off work for the past week." Lou Ellen said punching him in the arm.

"I should probably tell my siblings the kidnapping's off..."

"The what?!"

"Well me and Cecil tried, but Kayla found out we were coming and stopped us."

"So then I thought if I got the rest of the Hermes kids in on it they couldn't stop all of us."

"Of course you did."

"Well you're always in the infirmary."

"I've been busy for a few days, that's all."

"Well I know you haven't slept properly for the last eight days, and that you always insist on taking night watch."

"And anything difficult, and Nico."

"So? I'm fine, just busy."

"You're overworking."

"No I'm not."

"Will when was the last time you took a break?"

"Last year, Michael and Lee's funeral, I took half a day off."

"You can't do that to yourself."

"I can't let Kayla and Austin burn themselves out."

"Gods, I can't do this right now. I'm going to trust your siblings to talk some sense into you; want to go steal something?"

"I'm down, we just need to be back by three. In time for the thing." Lou Ellen smirked,

"Ohh rightttt."

"What did you do?!"

"You'll find out Sun boy."

"I'm scared."

"You should be."

***

_______

I wonder, if nobody is listening to my voice. Am I making any sound at all?

I hope you're prepared for what's coming soon.

[skayafair]

Scared Vi

The thing I was finally able to put into a thought and into words after staring at gifs for 2 hours straight: throughout all the post-timeskip Arcane Vi is fucking scared of everything that's going on around her. AND she's on the brink of losing it pretty often. I need to rewatch (no idea when I'll be brave enough to ride this rollercoaster again) but I didn't notice it while watching, because, WELL, there was already TOO MUCH to take in, so some more subtle details escaped me. I've caught that Vi is very vulnerable in her honesty, openness and straightforwardness, but that wasn't all to it, and it bothered me! Because all three don't ooze the vulnerability 24/7 and that's what Vi looks like to me nearly all the time!

So I was wondering.

And here's the answer. She's been suddenly released out of her cell into the world that is now completely unknown to her. Yes the air of freedom is great, and she enjoys it, but at the same time there's always this frightened undertone.

She's constantly on the edge.

Not in the least because when things that used to be familiar, like your home, ones you used to know like the back of your hand, change but not completely, it's the worst trap of all, the most confusing and anxiety inducing. How much of what you remember is still the same? How much changed? Can you trust its exterior even if it looks the same? Or would it betray you in the worst possible moment? How do new things work? How do they work WITH the old things? I've experienced it once coming back to my former workplace that changed quite a lot but no one bothered to fill me in so I was piecing together the information for a YEAR. And I might not be the brightest but I'm not dumb either. I'm pretty good with systems. It was BAD.

So I can't imagine how much worse and disoriented Vi must have felt. And Caitlyn took her out of jail to SHOW HER AROUND. Having no idea how the world Vi used to know so well changed just in several years. So she's on a look out all the time. And her eyes, her expression betrays her put up exterior of confidence and maybe even arrogance, leaking this anxiety and straight up fear almost all the time.

She looks like a frightened, lost little girl. And when she doesn't, she looks like a desperate teenage girl who tries to punch her way out of every problem because she's backed into a corner and that's the only way she knows, even if it never helps. (No seriously, the only time it helped was against Silco's thugs and EVEN THEN they weren't completely dealt with and kept causing problems straight up to the bridge fighting scene. Vi's fists kept her alive and safer but they never SOLVED anything.)  

I think the way she looks just SCREAMS fear and anxiety when she and Powder/Jinx fight back to back after the torch scene. Jinx looks like she's completely in her element, she knows these guys, she's been in situations like this time after time. It's habitual. She's very confident and almost careless there, moves freely, she knows what she's doing. She might even enjoy it. Vi, on the opposite... Vi, who's all about loose body language, free movement and such - nearly curls up into a ball against Jinx's back, keeping her fists and elbows close to herself. Vi NEVER looked like this again, I think. I... believe she was the most thrown off kilter back then. She finally found her most treasured and the only remaining piece of her past - her sister, and sure, lil Powpow changed, she had to survive, but she's still Vi's little sister!

Right?..

Wrong. Powder-Jinx back then is the quintessence of the trap Zaun is to Vi now: familiar pieces are all there, they're recognizable even if a bit changed, but you never know what lurks under the surface.

And gods does Jinx just demolish every last bit of the ground Vi was standing on. It's not even when Jinx goes full on unhinged, it's when she simply starts blasting bullets all around. When she fights and she's confident in what she does. Vi doesn't know this girl. Vi doesn't know this gang flying around. I bet she doesn't even know this TECHNOLOGY because the world made a whole leap technologically while she was stuck in her cell isolated from pretty much everything. It's like a literal time skip for her. And she doesn't know what to trust, so she can't trust anything no matter how much she wants to. And she HAS to want it, because she looked genuinely hopeful fresh out of Stillwater. Before she saw what her home turned into. Silco really did bring the monster out of it, not just himself or Jinx or shimmer junkies. The whole city. So Vi looks small, and frightened, and I think she's even panicking back in that scene.

She's ready to snap at any moment.

It's very interesting to me, because she looks tough and very mentally healthy on the surface but boooy are there mountains hidden underneath.

Vi does snap, actually. Several times. Her voice cracks as she's trying to convince Ekko she's THE Vi, same she used to be. She charges at Sevika TWICE. I think second time was much worse btw. She literally downs a drink IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT - I don't think it was out of mental stability. And, well, the cry in the end. She won, and it helped nothing again. Even her mental state. Another fragile moment with Vi is the way she looks around her sister. Vi is confident and action-charged by nature, she's energetic and isn't shy to take up space. So she never looks small... except when she's around Jinx. She's drowning in guilt, and this guilt is spilling out.

Interestingly enough, scenes when Vi DOESN'T have this scared/guilty/anxious/desperate look is around Cait. She's either playful, or actually confident, or even RELAXED. Which is... wow, all things considered. Part of it is a put up facade, of course, but only in the beginning. The ship sails itself huh...

A lot of people pointed out Caitlyn is about future in Vi's life centered around the past, but I think what's more important is that Cait is about the present. Plus, she's a familiar - an enforcer, a topside - turned unfamiliar in a GOOD way.

Gods once again I'm baffled at the level Arcane is thought through. These are subtle, small details, expressions that aren't exposed or accentuated like many other ones. They are underlying, but once you notice them it's a whole new tapestry unfolding right before your eyes.

As you can see, I'm very normal about Arcane and Vi in particular, yup, totally cool 😌👌✨

[felice-jaganshi]

Strawberry Scented Love

Radiodust Strawberry Pimp AU

Chapter 5 - Good Girl

TW: Mentions of Past Suicide

~One week later, three nights before the grand opening~

 

Velvet smiled, laying on the couch of the A/V's tower, happily drawing away. “Fuck yes, this is the best idea to come out of that disgusting porn studio in decades! We should have added you to the Vee's forever ago! The fuck did Vox do to turn you away before?” She was coming up with outfits for the performers based on the notes of what their songs were going to be.

“Ugh, don't bring up that old shit Vel!” Vox groaned, lounging across the arms of his own chair. “Why can't I broadcast it again?” He was pouting at Alastor, who sat cross legged in his own chair with a cup of coffee and the newspaper.

“Because the selling point is you can only see it in person. If they could buy a recording, it diminishes the value of the product. The product being the experience, not the performers, don't give me that look or I'll rip your good eye from your head you silly picture box.”

“Don't threaten me with a good time…” Vox huffed and crossed his arms, pouting at Alastor. 

“To answer your question, Velvette, he had asked me to be his romantic partner, and I'm not interested in him like that. So he stole my idea of combining all the media demons into one super power. The A/V's were originally my idea. Though he wanted to call us the V/A's of course. As ridiculous as that sounds.”

“Oh right, because putting your name first is soooo much cooler!” Vox rolled his eyes, then one of Alastor's tentacles slapped the back of his screen that was hanging off the arm of the couch. “Agh! Fuck you!”

“Hm, you wish you could.”

 

Later that day, halfway across the city, a broadcast played on a tv in front of a Voxtech store. “Breaking news sinners! Continuing last week's report on the new porn studio, Strawberry Productions, we now know they will be holding burlesque shows at the new Jazz club every Saturday night! Tickets are available now for pre-order and selling out fast! Trust us with your entertainment!”

A moth demon in a trench coat and fedora growled at the tv as he listened to the broadcast. He threw a brick, breaking one of the screens, before walking off with a fresh grin, and a plan…

 ~~~~~~~~

There was a knock on Alastor's office door, “Come in.” He was at his desk writing away. It was the middle of the night.

Anna entered the room and looked around. Alastor's coat was missing from his shoulders, draped over Angel like a blanket as he slept comfortably on Al's couch again. He'd had a nightmare about Valentino, and Alastor had offered him his company. Angel had fallen asleep quickly to the strawberry scented fluff.

“Miss Anna? Darling, what are you doing up so late?” He smiled softly at her.

“Oh, um… I was hoping, if you weren't too busy, Sir, that you could watch my routine and tell me what you think? I… I think I've got something really special, but…” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, clearly nervous. She was wearing workout shorts and a sports bra, and was soaked with sweat.

“Very well, it's clear to me you've been working hard on this even after hours. I can spare a few minutes to give my thoughts.” He rose from his chair and followed her out of the room. His Shadow stayed behind to lock the door and coo over Angel. Keeping his word to keep him company. 

 

Anna took to the stage, posing on the ground for a side profile view, one leg bent and she did a little hair flip of her bob cut as the music began. “The dress is Chanel, the shoes YSL. The bag is Dior, Agent Provocateur.” She got up and kicked on of her feet up dramatically, adding a shimmy to her hips and she headed towards the pole. “My address today, L.A. by the way. Above Sunset Strip, the hills all the way.” She wrapped one leg around it before leaning away, doing “heart hands” over her chest before pulling herself back towards the pole and lowering her leg, turning her back to him and climbing the pole. She was blushing and smiling the whole time, just having fun. 

She held out her hands, leaning backwards to look at him upside down, “My rings are by Webster, it makes their heads twirl.” She spun her way back down the pole. “They all say Darling, what did you do for those pearls?” She snapped back upright, “What?!” She put a hand in front of her mouth before pouting, “I am a good girl!”

At the end of her song she stood on the stage breathing hard. “W-well?”

Alastor slowly clapped, “A lovely dance darling, far less sexual than everyone else's. Though I do wonder if you'll get many clients with a performance like that…”

She looked down at her feet, the hand still on the pole going white knuckled with how hard she was gripping it, “Do… Do I have to still take clients? Can't I just dance?” 

“Hm? Of course you can just dance. I won't force you to sleep with anyone.” He tilted his head to the side. “You didn't choose this vocation, did you?”

She took a deep breath, but it came out stuttered, “N-no… I just wanted to dance. I don't… I don't like people touching me. I just wanted to be a dancer.” She was about to cry, her knees were shaking as she tried to hold herself together. It seemed… off to Alastor. 

 

“Darling… How long have you been in hell?”

“Five years…” Her voice was soft, but the room was silent and empty, so it echoed like a bomb.

“And… how old-”

“Don't!” She cut him off with an aggressive shout before gasping and looking up in fear, “S-sorry, I'm sorry sir! I- I didn't mean to- to-.” She was shaking all over now and Alastor's expression became dark. She was young then. Far too young for the depravity Valentino put her through.

He took to the stage, summoning a fluffy towel to his hand before slowly covering her completely from the shoulders down. He then pulled his hands away, understanding the desire to not be touched.

“Darling. It's alright. I don't wish to harm you… I understand I asked a rather rude question.” He smiled softly, his expression full of sympathy and pity.

“May I ask one more?”

She pulled the towel tightly around herself as she looked at his kneeling form, “What is it?”

“Well you see, I noticed some… similarities between us. So I thought to ask… if you had a rather unpleasant father?” He was choosing his words carefully, something he prided himself on, given his chosen career path. Both the radio one, and the serial killing.

 

“Well, I put a bullet in his head. So yeah, I'd say so.” She was pouting again, but with a quivering lip as she tried to make the tears stop. She was trying so hard to act calm and mature. The harder she tried, the more obvious to Alastor it was that she wasn't an adult when she died.

“How did you die, darling?” He kept his tone soft and friendly, but his eyes held a sorrow to them.

“My… my aunt… she was a good person. She tried to stop me from killing him, she didn't want me to go to jail. She got in the way of the first shot. I didn't mean to kill her, I was aiming for him!” She broke down, crying hard and curling into a ball. “I couldn't take it! I didn't want to go to jail, so I killed myself!” 

“I see… I'm sorry you didn't feel you had any other choice, my darling… you shouldn't have had to go through all that. I murdered my father as well, twice actually. If you'd like, I can hunt him down for you, as a gift. No strings attached.” He held out a hand for her. 

She looked at it, then back up at him, her eyes held mistrust in them. “Why are you so nice? Do you find me hot or something?”

“Of course not, I'm not attracted to women at all. It seems I've taken to viewing you like a daughter is all. So I wish to protect you.”

“Oh… so you're gay?” Her expression softened, while his became more complicated. 

“Not quite. Genuinely, I've never felt that kind of attraction towards anyone.”

“But what about Angel? You two are pretty close.” She tilted her head and her little bunny nose twitched in curiosity. 

 

“Ah, that… is an interesting situation. Can you keep a secret?” He asked softly. 

She nodded, and held out her pinky, “Promise.” He smiled and wrapped her pinky in his.

“Well, you see… Angel is a rare and strange exception for me. I genuinely love him, which isn't something I've felt for anyone other than my mother. And I'm still coming to terms with the feeling.”

“Oh.. okay… can I hug you?” That threw him for a loop! He hadn't expected her to ask that after saying she didn't like being touched! Did that make him a special exception? Like how Rosie and Angel were for him?

“You said you see me like a daughter, and well, I like the idea of having a dad that doesn't suck.” 

He wordlessly held open his arms and she got up, hugging him with her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, arms around her torso. “I never hoped to be a good father, given my only example of one was a horrible monster… but I suppose I could repurpose what I learned from my mother if that doesn't sound too strange for you.”

She nodded and rest her chin on his shoulder, “I don't see a problem with that. Gender roles on childcare are weird.”

 

Alastor chuckled and pet her head with one hand, “Well, you should go rest in your dressing room. It's far too late for you to be up, and it wouldn't be safe for a young lady to travel the streets alone.” He stood, carrying her as he went to put her in her room.

“Hm, okay… oh, should I still call you Sir in front of everyone, or can I call you Papa?”

“Ah… let's keep that private for now. I'm worried the others may get jealous if they learn you're getting special treatment. And… I'm not sure if I enjoy being called parental terms yet.”

She hummed at his honest discomfort and fell asleep in his arms.

[spaceyshideaway]

𝐻𝒾𝓉𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝑅𝑒𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝐵𝓊𝓉𝓉𝑜𝓃

When reflecting on my life, I realized it was nothing but a Sisyphean journey. Obstacle after obstacle, and just when I think I've made it to the top and can finally breathe, my boulder will fall back down the mountain... pulling me down to hell like a deadly ball and chain. As Ellis Grey once said, "The carousel never stops turning. You can never get off." Life goes on regardless of whether you are ready, and there is no time to catch up. Therefore, I have decided to take charge of my life. I will explore the depths of the universe, wander far and wide, and try to understand why I have always felt like the universe's punching bag.

I am hitting the restart button and erasing my past. I believe that it is important to learn from your past, but if you let it define you, can you really consider it your past? My past has never been a shadow; it has always been mixed with the present, and I could never walk away from it. Today, I am reclaiming myself, and I am becoming someone else. I will learn to carry myself like the person I aspire to be.

With this, I have three goals:

Become healthy, both physically and mentally

Improve my financial situation

Gain self-love and confidence

I will become the best version of myself, I already see a therapist but it's time to find a psychiatrist, a primary doctor, and lastly overcome my worst fear... a dentist. This will be a challenge, I have had a huge fear of the dentist since I was 16, and they drilled into my teeth without proper numbing... I felt EVERYTHING. However, the person I want to be has great health and does not let fear control her, so a dentist appointment will come but first let's do the easy part!

I used to be extremely resilient. Started working at 16, in order to be able to have money to get away from my house. My father was always more inclined to help out my brothers so I knew from an early age that if I wanted to do anything in life, I had to provide it for myself. I think the best example of this was when I had to work for over a year to save up enough money to pay for college while my father paid for my brother's tuition. Anyways, COVID eventually came and my hours got cut at my job, and I had to drop out. Going from working 50 hours a week as well as attending school full-time, I had my first major manic episode. I never fully recovered and created a long list of job instability and mental instability. It's time to change that, in February I am starting a certificate program that will improve my qualifications to expand my career options. Until then, let's just get a job that will pay the bills.

Lastly, I want to know what it feels like to walk into a room and not feel small. I want to stand tall, with grace and flair. I want to be a powerful force of nature that leads with empathy and confidence. I want to take pictures of myself again, and not only walk the earth but leave a mark. It's hard to make an impact when I am constantly sitting in the corners or just not even showing up. I let clothes wear me and hide me, I try my best not to exist or step on toes. I put myself last because I believe other people will always be better than me. I'm not saying I want to be better than anyone, but I am saying that I just want to allow myself to exist unapologetically.

This is the beginning of my journey and the reclaiming of my power. I invite you to come watch, or if you are feeling up to it... come hit the restart button with me and we can guide each other. This is the community I want to build, and I hope to see you in it.