#like no i need to go do the opposite of decompressing

[lokiiied]

me sat there pretending to be normal while watching ted lasso with my dad

[fridayyy-13th]

i am feeling So Many Things at the moment but mostly i just feel like a disaster

[greedandenby]

Jacob Anderson, Sam Reid, and others talking about Jam Reiderson.

Here's a compilation of bits and pieces from various interviews about these two men's beautiful friendship. Will be updating as new promo for subsequent seasons comes out!

(Long post, so keep reading!

- there's SO MUCH good stuff)

Pride.com

Q: You guys have incredible chemistry. It hinges on that. Can you talk a little bit about how you built that kind of connection?

JA: I find it so difficult to talk about chemistry. Because me and Sam… like each other.

SR: Yeah. I think we’re very similar in a lot of ways, and that was a big relief. It’s a very bizarre job to do when you’re doing it, cause you’re shooting entirely at night, you have amazing costumes and contact lenses and accents and teeth and blood. The scenes, while they feel like they have a flow to them, there’s a lot of splitting up while we do it because we’ve got to have special effects come in or the blood come in, or we’re on a rig of some kind. So it’s a weird experience, and we also had these extraordinary lines of dialogue to say as well. And so to have somebody who’s similar, can process these things the same way as you and bounce off of and decompress with is vital.

JA: Yeah, and the first step is you just have a common language that you find, and sometimes it clicks and sometimes it doesn’t. And we were just lucky that we, you know…

SR: Yeah. Yup.

Amc Talk

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there's obviously a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Sam Reid? You two are quite good friends having come out the other end of Season 1.

JA: Yeah, we were good friends when we were doing it and I think that's part of why it worked out for us! We didn't put too much emphasis on trying to figure everything out. The scripts are so beautiful, the writing is so dense and so full of life and detail that you don't need to discuss it too much. Obviously, we talked to the directors, and they'd have ideas and we'd have ideas, but I think, in terms of me and Sam finding it, I think we just paid attention to each other. We just trusted the writing, trusted each other, and it meant that we’d already be prepared for whatever was going to come up. We felt comfortable with each other, so we could try things and it felt safe. It felt like we could play around with body language and with eye contact and all these things. But it was unspoken, I think. It wasn't something that we spent a lot of time discussing. Everything's intentional to a certain extent, but there's this other thing that is just about instinct and listening really.

Q: And having the right scene partner where that happens.

JA: Yeah, I felt really lucky! Sam gives you so much. There's so much to play off and I hope that I did the same for him. Our first day of shooting we did the opera house stuff, and I was so excited. It's the scene where he talks about loneliness, and I remember thinking even though I'd got to know him a little bit and we'd done a bit of rehearsal and we'd become friends by that point, I was like, "Oh wow, this is going to be really special! I'm going to get to do this every day. I'm going to get to watch this character come to life and respond to it." That's a gift. Sam Reid is a gift!

Q: The relationship between Louis and Lestat is rife with complications, but at its core there’s a real connection there. What was it like crafting this tumultuous relationship on screen with Jacob Anderson? You two are quite good friends having come out the other side of Season 1 so if anything, I’m sure the experience brought you closer together? 

SR: Yeah, definitely. It definitely brought us closer together. It was really crazy this stuff that we were doing together. We'd have these massive scenes, and it would be just him and I in the middle of the night playing opposite each other, not really being able to see each other all the time with the contact lenses. You just rely so heavily on one another. You also rely on each other because you're like, "Have we pushed it too far? Is it too much? Is it enough? Like, do we believe each other?" Because it's this very intense relationship but we’re also supernatural beings. So, you're constantly having to reframe the way that you look at a relationship and say, "Well, hang on, my character has all this power." Like in Episode 4, I remember saying, when all the police are coming over to the house, I was like, "Why are we even worried about this? I don't understand why I would be even concerned about this at all." But you're negotiating with someone who's going, "Yeah, but my desire to have a connection to humanity makes this important," and so you're like, "Oh, okay." We managed to balance off each other in that way, because my character's way past any connection to humanity and Jacob's character is holding onto those last threads of his humanity. When we'd both be examining a scene, we'd both be coming at it from different angles. Because of the love between the two characters, there's always that negotiation and blunting of the other's real intention. I couldn't really imagine doing it with anybody else! We did all of it, everything, together, really.

Gold Derby Daniel Hart Interview

Q: In what ways does the show’s really rich visual palette and then of course Sam and Jacob’s lightning-in-a-bottle chemistry on screen influence some of the choices that you made on the score throughout your process?

DH: There’s a theme that I would call their love theme, and it’s sprinkled throughout the first episode but it played in full over the end credits in a piece called “In Throes of Increasing Wonder”. And that theme appears in almost every episode, I think, in some form or another. I don’t think that theme was possible before I had seen some of that interaction between Jacob and Sam as Lestat and Louis. It’s born of their emotional reactions to each other.

IWTV Podcast

Ep2

Q: You and Jacob did your chemistry tests over Zoom? Which, I mean, does anyone have chemistry over Zoom?

SR: Yeah, I don’t really know what they were looking for or how you’re supposed to gauge chemistry from that, because it was really glitchy and we were all speaking on top of each other and trying really hard to act into the camera, which just wasn’t working. But look, I really… Jacob is such a lovely person, such a really fantastic actor and so easy to be around. And I could see that he was going to be a very easy person to fall in love with. So it was fun. In fact I just came from having ice cream with Jacob and he says hello.

Q: Oh my God, I’m obsessed. I want these moments. Give me that footage, okay? I want ice cream footage, I want strolling the streets of downtown New Orleans footage.

SR (laughs): Yeah, I mean we hang out all the time and we’ve become very, very good friends. Cause it is a crazy journey that we’re on and it was a crazy job, so it’s really lovely to have such a good friend.

Ep3

Q: Talking about Sam, how much time did y’all get before you started actually shooting? It’s like “Okay, we’re in love now and it’s going to be very tortured and complicated” – Rolling!

JA: Yeah. I don’t know if I completely believe in luck, but I think there’s like a weird cosmic luck in this whole thing. It is a huge roll of the dice. The first day we met each other, obviously we both had our masks on, and we had a hug and we were like “Oh hi”. And then we just spent the next day walking around New Orleans and getting to know each other. And I truly love that man, so much. Like, we connected so quickly and just found like… And I think part of that as well is that there’s a level of trust that we had to have, otherwise we weren’t going to be able to do this at those hours, and those scenes, and the intimacy of their relationship, and also the toxicity and the fire in it. We had to really hold each other and be like “All right, have we got each other’s back?” And we did, we were just like “We’re in this together. Let’s listen to each other and try and have fun.” And we did, we had a lot of fun. I thought that taking on this role would be quite triggering for me in lots of different ways. I thought it was going to force me to have to reconcile with lots of feelings that I had. I thought it was going to be just a guilt and shame and despair fest for six months. And actually I just found it really, really cathartic being Louis, and Louis has helped me a lot. I think there’s something about acceptance in Louis and acceptance of self, and like “This is who I am, this is who I’ve been, and I’m enduring, I’m choosing to keep going. I’m choosing to accept who I am.” And that was really helpful for me. So rather than feeling tortured, I think I ended up just feeling very… held, very comforted by the whole thing, in a weird sort of way.

Ep7

Q: I’m wondering what you guys would do or how you would hang out on set. Is there hanging out or are you more like “Okay, they’re setting up a light, I gotta go lay down, I can’t with you right now.”

JA: No, we were pretty inseparable, to be fair. There wasn’t really any hanging out. We just were. At a certain point, we just were. We didn’t share a trailer, but it was like, a wall separating us. And we’d just end up sitting on the stairs or texting each other through the wall.

SR (laughs): Through the wall, just texting all the time.

JA: We became a hive mind.

SR: We did, yeah.

Q: Were you still a hive mind once you wrapped? Would you still text and stuff?

JA: Yeah.

SR: Yeah.

JA: We’re going to the theatre tonight. We’ve seen each other every day for the last week. We’re still choosing to spend time together. It’s probably not very healthy. Very co-dependent (laughs).

Ep8

Q: Obviously viewers are in love with Jacob and Sam. People are tweeting me photos of them eating ice cream. We call ourselves #icecreamhive. The fandom is strong. Can you tell me about how you found Jacob and Sam, and the process of deciding they were Louis and Lestat?

Rolin Jones: Well, obviously 9 billion people auditioned. You kind of get down to ten actors that you like on both sides. The simple math of it is the second those two got into their Zoom rooms together, it was very clear something very dynamic was happening. On Jacob’s side, there’s this sort of genuine warmth, kindness, humanity. You’re like “Okay, for a character who’s going to make a number of questionable choices, how do you make them want to love him?” And on Sam: I saw his face and I said “No fucking way! No fucking way that guy, this chiselled, stupid chiselled, with his locks and his dreamy eyes. I was like no, no, no, no. And then I pressed play, and he really knew how big we were going to go. He was wildly specific and subtle. It was in his voice. There was something a little Jeff Bridges/Starman about it, and I was like “Oh, this guy feels like an alien and he feels other than us”. They both won the audition, that’s basically what happened. Although I’ll tell you, here’s a dirty secret: ready for this? Sam bought this piece of technology, that you can do a push-in close-up right when the scene is getting a little juicy. And I just started laughing my ass off. I was like “Oh my God, this guy wants this so hard.”

Mark Johnson: You called me the first time you had seen Sam, and you were just so excited about the potential of this guy and you basically said: “He’s going to be next to impossible to beat.” And sure enough, nobody could really touch him. But from the very first time you saw his audition you were pretty convinced that we had our Lestat.

Keep It Podcast

JA: Sam is just like my… partner-in-crime, and I feel so lucky that I got to spend every day with him. We had to do a lot of stuff in this show and when I say a lot of stuff I mean, those nights are no joke. Knowing those scenes and working on those scenes together at that hour – you can only do that with somebody that you like, even if the scene calls for tension. I think you would just kill each other if you didn’t like each other.

New York Post (October '22)

JA: For anything I got to do with Sam, that relationship is so fun to play. You bond in a really particular way when you're working nights and dealing with these lofty themes. The feelings are huge in every scene. If you don't have that common language and find that chemistry... I don't think me and Sam needed to find it, there was something natural that we found together. It would be rough if we didn't like each other an awful lot.

PaleyFest

Q: Jacob and Sam, I feel like the show wouldn’t work unless the chemistry’s there between Louis and Lestat. There’s a lot riding on that. So how did you two form this immortal bond, if you will, during filming, knowing how important it was?

JA: We just spent a lot of time together even when we didn’t need to (laughs). I don’t know, like, how do you put that kind of thing into words? It’s just, like… I really love Sam. I like spending time with him. I like working with him. I find the way that we talk about what we’re doing… Well, we’re not talking about what we’re doing all the time but I think we have a similar language. I dunno, it’s ki(smet?)… It’s, like, how do you describe a vibe? (laughs)

Q: Sam, how do you describe the vibe?

SR: I think the work, the world and the characters are so extreme and it’s a very intense thing to do. And I think we leant on each other a lot throughout the process and we were very grateful for the friendship that we had built to be able to get through six months of night and some pretty intense scenes. And to have someone that you can look across the room and have a private giggle with and get on with the job and debrief with at the end of the day is invaluable. Chemistry with actors is a complicated beast because it is our job to manufacture it, but when you don’t have to and it just comes naturally it makes everything so much more easy and enjoyable, particularly when you’re nude and bleeding (laughs). You’re really happy you have a buddy (unintelligible).

Q: I was in the Entertainment Weekly suite when all you guys came through for Comic Con at the Hard Rock Hotel and, I mean, I was watching you all interact. Bailey, break it down for me: these two, do they have like a super-bromance going on? Like, what is happening?

Bailey Bass: They’re best friends! They really are, it’s really precious. (Delighted grin from Jacob) Look at Jacob’s face! (laughs)

JA: Are we best friends, Sam?

SR: Yeah, you’re my best friend.

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I have to throw in: I have two sons who are roughly the age of these guys, and we all went over to Comic Con, us three. And walking around was like being with my kids. The two of them are just like together (clasps hands together) getting into everything and I’m following them around, like “Wait a second, wait a second! Let me catch up with you there!” I didn’t really get it when I first got to set, I didn’t understand what was going on with these two guys, because they were so happy and they were so tired and they were so bonded and I was like “What dimension have I entered here?”

Reddit AMA (2022)

Q: Many of the scenes in the show are very emotionally demanding for even just a viewer of the series […] Is it taxing on yourselves as people or is it something you can simply switch off?

JA: It really helped having Sam there. We just went and sat on a bench and checked on each other. Without Sam I think I might have found it a lot harder.

Rotten Tomatoes

About the casting process:

JA: I asked (Alan Taylor): “How did you guys decide that it was the right thing?” And he was like: “To be honest, by that point” – cause we did like eight rounds of auditions – “it was more about the way that you interacted when you weren’t doing the scenes. It was about how you listened to each other.” It’s just that we got on, we were pretty comfortable between the things.

Schön magazine

Q: Tell me more about the dynamic between Jacob and you who plays Louis, your love interest?

SR: Jacob and I get on well, we have a close friendship. We bonded strongly throughout the making of this show. He’s one of my favourite scene partners I’ve ever had because it’s just such an easy working relationship. There’s a lot of trust between the two of us. You know, it’s a fucked up toxic relationship. It’s messed up. But at the core of it is like this intense, inescapable love. So, we have to play out a very morbid, obsessive, passionate relationship. I think it would be really hard to do if you hated the person opposite. I’m so grateful that we get on.

ScreenRant at SDCC 2022

Q: Louis and Lestat have an iconic relationship: epic, spanning years and continents, lives ruined, bloodshed. What is it like bringing that to the screen and working together to really establish that immortal bond?

JA: It’s been the greatest partnership – creative partnership – in my life.

SR: Awww.

JA: No, I’m not joking, it really has!

SR: I’d agree, actually. It’s very hard, it’s a very intense relationship that they have, and you have to believe in that relationship. The things they do to each other are so extreme and painful and hurtful. And it’s been fun to have a real buddy to go through that and debrief with at the end of the day.

JA: I’m not sure how we could’ve done everything that we’ve done if we didn’t really trust each other.

SR: Yeah, it would’ve been awful if we hated each other.

JA: And it’s one of the great… you know, in the books, when they join together again – even when you know how awful they’ve been to each other – it’s just like you’re home, and I think that’s something that we always subconsciously tried to make sure was in there. They are kind of like home to each other, particularly after Louis’ human attachments start to fall away.

Eric Bogosian: I just want to say, these two guys (pointing to Jacob and Sam), it’s great watching them, their bonding and everything. The only difference between them and the guys in the fictional world: I’ve never seen them fight.

Bailey Bass: They were walking together alongside the San Diego beach. (To Jacob and Sam) You were! I mean, how adorable is that?

JA: We’re quite co-dependent. I don’t know if that’s a problem (laughs).

SDCC 2022 Panel

SR: It’s the greatest gift that I’ve ever been given, really. And then of course (pointing to Jacob) this guy.

JA: Awww!

SDCC 2022 Press Conference

Eric Bogosian: As a witness to what was going on, watching the way these guys (pointing to JA & SR) interacted was amazing. They had a chemistry that I’ve actually never seen before, and it continues even as we’ve been here for Comic Con. It’s wonderful to watch. I won’t get into it too much, I don’t want to characterise what goes on between them, but there was a great feeling on our set.

TV Insider at SDCC

Q: The level of intimacy that you two have to establish early on is really impressive. Did you know each other? Did you get to spend time hanging out before you got to be these immortal entwined characters?

JA (to SR): What did we do? We had like one Facetime call…

SR: Yeah, we had a Facetime call and then we were texting. We texted a lot, so we go to know each other via text.

JA: Me and Sam talk to each other every day, by the way. We couldn’t cut the cord.

TV Insider’s Trivia Night

SR & JA: Hi, we’re Jam Reiderson and we’re from Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire!

Holding up boards that say:

SR: [I won!]

JA: [But I won (really) at life]

SR: Bastard!

JA: Because I get to be with you, Sam, all the time! That’s the twist.

TV I Say Podcast

JA: Me and Sam spent 40 minutes yesterday in a sticker shop. Like, just looking at stickers and buying stickers. That’s not a thing that you ever really talk about. You don’t go like “Are you into stickers?”, you know? (…) I feel like Sam and I end up mentioning things in passing like “Do you wanna go do this or do you wanna do this?” and the other person’s like “Yeah!” But then, we have… There are so many crossovers. You wouldn’t expect it because we grew up in very different ways in very different countries. But we have crossovers of weird things or very niche things that we’d never discussed, really, right up until the point of promoting this show and doing press, that we’re like, “Great!” Like we’re going to go to Universal today. And I thought “Oh, is it a bit of a weird thing to ask?” Like, I don’t know if it’s awkward to… Normally, I wouldn’t ask a friend if they just wanted to go to Universal. But with Sam, I’ll be like “Should we go to Universal Studios?”, and he’s like “Yeah! Let’s do it!” Do you know what I mean? It’s just, I dunno, we just have similarities that we couldn’t have really… We couldn’t have known that we were so similar, but it really helped us when we were working, even if we didn’t know it at the time.

W Magazine (Oct ’22)

Q: Is there anything specific that you read first thing in the morning?

JA: Realistically, text messages. In the last few months it’s been texts from Sam Reid, who plays Lestat in the show, because he’s in Australia and I’m in the UK. So there’s always some kind of really nice conversation waiting in the morning.

Young Hollywood

JA: I don’t know, we just liked each other straight away. We just had similar thoughts about what this was, about what we were doing. He’s one of my favourite people I’ve ever met in my life, let alone worked with. We just work well together. I can’t even really pinpoint exactly why. We’re going to hang out now, like after this we’re going to go to the Grove…

Q: Oh he’s in LA?

JA: Yeah!

Q: Oh my God, that’s perfect! I was going to say when was the last time you talked to him?

JA: Like half an hour ago.

Q: What’s the best thing that came from IWTV for you?

JA: That’s hard to… Sam Reid. Let’s say Sam Reid.

SFX Magazine – May 2024

That being said, [Rolin] Jones admits that it was a tough adjustment for Anderson and Reid to navigate this season. “It’s very clear, they’re very, very good friends,” Jones observes. “They really do talk every day together. So generally speaking last year, they had each other. They would get off the scene, they’d go to the bench and they would talk.”

92NY Season 2 Advance screening

JA: [Working with Sam on S02] was like slipping on a glove. Like, a glove that fits really well, wasn’t it? (laughs) Wait, is that dirty? (laughs)... An old sock!

Eric Bogosian: I have to say, I’ve never seen two actors in a company behave the way these two guys do. When I got to set and I first met them, they were already as if they were stuck to each other like brothers. (…) And then I watched them just… They follow each other around, like, whenever they’re not in scenes they’re like two puppies playing together.

Instinct Magazine (May ’24)

JA: I think the chemistry between Sam and I is based on a similarity in approach, and the way I think about these characters. Also, we just get on – I think that translates in a way.

AMC Talk (May ’24)

Re working with Sam on “DreamStat”

JA: We didn’t work on it too much ahead of time. Sam and I really trust each other. So, we’d just show up and be like, “we’ll be fine. We’ll just figure it out as we go.” We really listen to each other. (…) [Louis and Lestat’s] dynamic this season is very different. They’re not fighting. They’re not shouting at each other. That kind of intensity has gone a bit, which was fun! That was a new thing for me and Sam to play, this kind of companionship thing. It was fun and I was just glad that Sam was there, and that I was going to get to work with him.

JA: Sam and I have talked about how nice it would’ve been to have had a little mini-series where you just see Lestat and Louis just hanging out in New Orleans. (…) And not necessarily hunting, just like walking, sitting on a bench, chatting, really like the norm.

People Magazine Interview ‘24

Q: What’s a headline you’d use to describe your friendship in real life?

JA & SR: Sam and Jacob go to the movies (laughs)…

JA: … and walk around the city…

SR: … sit in a park and chat for hours.

Sam Reid answers fan questions (AMC)

Q: Who makes you laugh the most on set?

SR: Jacob.

Question from Jacob 😏 (SR reaction: Jacob Anderson? Who's that? 😚): Why is Jacob Anderson your favourite person to work with?

SR: He is very talented and he does some extraordinary work in this season. I feel very lucky to work with him… aside from the fact that he’s a dick. 🥰

Salon (May ’24)

SR: They’re trauma bonded, Louis and Lestat…

JA: … And Jake and Sam also trauma bonded!

Roxane Duran interviewed by Autumn Brown (June ’24)

RD: When I first met Jacob and Sam… They’re just the kindest souls and they really, really take care of each other and of everyone around. […] Jacob and Sam really have that sort of really beautiful friendship, and you see them and they’ve got a huge joy being around each other and also being around everybody else.

Vanity Fair / Little Gold Men Podcast (June ’24)

Q: Can you talk a bit more about Sam as a scene partner, the connection you two have developed over the years?

JA: The key thing that Sam and I have is complete and utter trust. We trust each other. We know that wherever the scene goes, it’s going to be safe. We also know that we’re going to surprise each other. […] Sam always does things with his chest and that is also how I like to work. Say it with your chest; mean it. I don’t think he’s ever doing anything out of a sense of vanity. It’s like, you exhaust as many possibilities as you possibly can and you’re unafraid to look silly or to go to a really heightened place. I think we hopefully see that in each other. When Sam and I are in a room together and we’re about to shoot a scene as these characters, it’s exciting. You don’t always find that, where you just have a symbiotic, or completely common language in the way that we work together. Even though we’re quite different. I think that’s what it is. I think we speak the same language in the way that we relate to these characters and this story.

Variety (June ’24)

JA, about filming the S2E8 reunion scene with SR:

“We held each other’s hands, and we just fucking jumped.”

TV Guide (June ’24)

Rolin Jones about shooting the S2E8 reunion scene:

They arguably did not get enough takes to do that scene. It’s just one of those things that when we turned on the camera, you could feel three years of their friendship. I knew on this side of the camera I needed two takes. I was like, “Jesus, what just happened?” But they wanted to stay there forever.

About the unheard words in the scene:

I don’t know, to this day, I don’t know, nobody knows, except those two, what they said. We wrote it in. That was the gift, to say, “You guys, not only your friendship, but where you’ve taken the characters, you should have something private for the rest of your lives. And go ahead, have it.”

AMC “Inside IWTV S2” Special

SR: I speak to Jacob every day, nonstop, all the time.

JA: Any day where Sam is there is a good day for me.

Den of Geek at SDCC ‘24

Q: How do you go about building such rippling chemistry with another human being, with Jacob? And I know the answer is “chemistry is chemistry”, but how? How do you do it?

SR: Well, I don’t “build” anything. Unfortunately I’m going to give you that same answer. But we’re very good friends. We’re really close. I don’t know if that chemistry happens before you become friends or after, but there’s a lot of trust and we just have a lot of fun making this show. I think chemistry isn’t just two actors or two people together: it’s the whole group, it’s everyone who makes the show. It’s the space, it’s the feeling when you come on set, and you feel like you can do things, try things, be experimental, push the boundaries a little bit. And that creates a sense of play and trust. You might think that it’s just Louis and Lestat’s chemistry, but it’s actually the whole chemistry of every cast member and every creative and every director, every piece of beautiful dialogue we have, the design, down to every crew member. Everyone puts a lot of chemistry into it, so it’s a pot – a big, bubbly pot.

Rolin Jones: Bowling, too. They do a lot of bowling.

SR: We go bowling, yeah. I should’ve said that.

Assad Zaman: Ice cream.

SR: Yeah, we eat a lot of ice cream. And we do sticker play (laughs).

Q: Care to elaborate on sticker play?

SR: Make it up.

Q: A lot of bowling alleys in Prague?

SR: They build them for us on set. It’s contractual.

[xxcallmemaryxx]

mawh I luv you 💖

in celebration of becoming a housewife, may I ask how do you think the ghouls act after coming home from a long tiring day? are they grouchy? are they loving?

-🌸

Don’t be surprised when Mountain quite literally drags your ass to bed. After a long day all he wants is a nap, and this guy gets stubborn. The second he makes up his mind, he has also made your mind up for you. He will seek you out and take you straight to bed the second he gets his claws on you, usually it’s his bed… (he knows you like his pillows better)… but be warned, Mountain gets a bit of an attitude after a long day. Should you try to pull away from his death grip around you once you’ve settled, you will earn yourself a pinch to the side and a moody grumble to sound from the back of his throat. He can’t decompress without you. So prepare yourself for a moody earth ghoul to bury himself in your chest and fall right to sleep there for who knows how long.

A little while ago, Rain accidentally walked in on you having a bubble bath. In his defence, he didn’t know you were in there… he just followed the scent of the soaps and it led him right to you. But, of course, within seconds he was sat across from you submerged in warm water and nose deep in bubbles. Ever since then, bubble baths with you have become one of his favourite things ever, so after he has had a bit of a rough day that’s what the two of you do to help him relax a little bit. He picks the soaps he wants to use, you run the water and get the bubbles going. Rain doesn’t get moody easily, but when he hasn’t had a good day you can just see it in the way he carries himself, he gets a little more quiet than usual and he spaces out. But after soaking in the tub for a little while, with you right there, he feels much better.

We all know Dewdrop has his regular temper tantrums. But after a long day, he’s not moody… he doesn’t have an attitude… he’s not overstimulated… he actually becomes quite the opposite to his usual self. Dewdrop gets so affectionate. You see, he’s had to be away from you all day, the duties around the abbey won’t do themselves and some days it just takes all day long to finish up. So by the time he is able to come looking for you again he is just itching to wrap himself around you and block out the world. He purrs. Like… LOUD. Nobody really knows except for you and a few of the guys… but dewdrop will be snuggled into you purring so loud you’re shocked the whole abbey can’t hear him.

Swiss gets SUCH an attitude after he’s had a long day. His usual goofy self is loooong gone, instead he is replaced with the most stubborn creature you’ve ever met. He will demand head scratches. So expect to find yourself thrown into bed with his head on your lap. He gets headaches you see, and the sensation of your lovely hands and fingers caressing his head and running through his hair helps soothe the throbbing behind his eyes. He is such a grouch though, grumbling about his day and about everything that went wrong. Even if the day itself wasn’t that bad… he will sook about the smallest things. Eventually he will come around though, and after some killer head rubs he’s like putty in your hands.

Aether is also very very affectionate. I’m talking… like… next level affectionate. You’d wanna hope you don’t have any plans for the night because the second Aether finds you, there’s no getting away. He will wrap his claws around you, quite literally lift you up and carry you to his room. The door is locked, the lights are off and the room is silent except for your combined breathing and Aethers soft purrs. He has you locked in tight against him, so much so it would be foolish for you to try to wriggle away from him. He is leaving soft kisses on every inch of skin he can reach, he is lovingly rubbing small circles into your soft skin and he is scenting you like there is no tomorrow. He just needs you.

Phantom gets stuck in this space between needing your affection to help him feel better and feeling so burnt out he just wants his own time alone. Then he gets irritated because he can’t understand what his own body needs and that causes him to become a little bit grouchy. Eventually, if he can’t settle himself down on his own he seeks you out. You let him figure out what he needs in his own time, and he knows that if he needs your presence this time around then you will be there with open arms. Usually he just enjoys being around you and that’s enough to help him relax. So the two of you like to spend the rest of the night making some food, or even just getting comfy and laying on the couch together. He learnt very quickly that you’re like a safe space for him, and when you’re around he feels so much more relaxed.

[blitzwhore]

I really really hope we get to see how Blitz and Millie met.

She's always so lenient with him when he oversteps her and Moxxie's boundaries, always so chill around Blitz no matter how unhinged he gets. And the more I rewatch the show, the more I feel like the reason she's so chill might be she knows things about Blitz the others (and maybe even we the audience) don't.

It makes sense that the way they met affects how she sees him, too, because we already know how the way Moxxie and Loona met Blitz impacted their relationships. Moxxie was at his lowest point in life, with no friends, family or partner he could trust; a victim of abuse and a member of a mafia he knew nobody outside of. And in prison, on top of it all. And just when he was about to give into despair, Blitz showed him sympathy and took him under his wing. So now, even though they bicker and get on each other's nerves, Moxxie does show that he appreciates Blitz (for example, in Truth Seekers after their bad trips). The same is true for Loona, who everyone had given up on, but who Blitz took in as well. Even if she complains about his displays of affection, she constantly gives him small smiles and softens around him, and takes care of him, like after Bee's party.

From what we know, Millie had a pretty good family life before she joined IMP. Unlike the rest of the IMP crew, she doesn't seem to have a horribly traumatic past. So, while there could be more that we don't know, it doesn't seem likely that her appreciation toward Blitz comes from him taking her under his wing when she was at a low point, the way he did Loona and Moxxie.

So I can't help but wonder if the opposite could be true. If maybe she met Blitz at a low point in his life—low enough that he couldn't keep his facade around her. There are theories going around that Millie could've been Loona's babysitter (the one Blitz mentions when he meets Moxxie). I don't know if it'll turn out that way, but I do like the mental image of Millie meeting Blitz at the very beginning of his parenting journey, desperate to fight for the humanity and the well-being of this extremely violent and unhinged 18-year-old girl. Desperate enough to hire a babysitter for an 18-year-old. I wonder if, maybe, one of the first things Millie learned about Blitz was just how desperately he wanted to be the adult role model and caregiver that Loona needed. I wonder if she saw him taking Loona's violence over and over, and still not giving up on her; not just that, but giving Loona the only bedroom in his flat and sleeping on the sofa every night just so she could have her space to decompress and feel safe. I wonder if, at some point, Blitz broke down and told Millie how scared he was of being a bad dad, or of Loona deserving someone better than him.

I just love the idea of Millie being this completely chill and functional young adult, and Blitz being this struggling 30-year-old dude who clearly cares so deeply and feels so inadequate that his whole life is a massive trainwreck.

So now, whenever Millie witnesses Blitz being overbearing and obnoxious and over-the-top, she immediately recognises it as an act, and understands that it's his way of communicating appreciation and seeking connection, which he can't do in other ways because he doesn't think he deserves those things.

Idk man. I just hope we get to see more of Blitz and Millie. I just think their interactions are neat.

[bbrissonn]

𝐛𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 - 𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬

in which you lay alone in your bed at night wondering where your relationship with the young star went wrong

disclaimer: english is not my first language and this is not proofread so please excuse any errors and if any words are missing add them in your head :) also this is a work of fiction, this doesn’t reflect how these boys act in real life, and it isn’t how i imagine them acting 

HUGH DISCLAIMER: this fic doesnt have a clear ending. i literally have no motivation to continue this, but i cannot find it in myself to start my next work for this album until this one is out. so yeah, sorry about that :)

warnings: angst, swearing , not proofread  

pairing: jack hughes x reader

wc: 2.6k (including lyrics)

guts masterlist

Cat got my tongue

And I don’t think I get along with anyone

Blood runnin’ cold

I’m on the outside of the greatest inside joke

And I hate all my clothes

Feels like my skin doesn’t fit right over my bones

So I guess I should go

The party’s done, and I’m no fun, I know, I know

I know, I know

Ever since you had moved to New York in early 2022, it felt like it had been living a lie. Like this life you were living wasn’t yours, like you had just stolen it from someone. Growing up, you had always been homeschooled, meaning your social life was slime to none. So, it was safe to say that when you chose to move to New York for a job your mom’s friend had offered you, you were scared. 

You only had two real friends, who you barely ever saw because of their busy scheduled with school before, and even more now since you three were all over the country doing your own things. Luckily for you, there was a girl only 2-3 years older than you at your job, meaning you had someone to talk to if you felt the need. After a month of two, the two of you became friends, growing ever closer when you realized you lived in apartment blocks next to each other. 

Which is how you found yourself at a bar on a saturday night in October of that year. Mailey had convinced you to come with her, claiming the two of you needed to decompress from your busy week at work. You rolled your eyes at first, but agreed none the less. Ever since this summer, you found yourself starting to go out more, joining Mailey and her friends every once in a while. Only this time was so much different than the others. 

There was a big group of maybe 20ish guys, age ranging from young adults to full grown men, taking up most of the place. The two of you were confused, seeing as this bar barely ever had people coming in, and it was mainly the same people coming here every week. So, a group of random guys neither of them had seen around before certainly peeked your interest. 

“What do you think they’re doing here?” You asked as the two of you sat down at your usual spot. The group occupying the opposite side of the room. 

“Don’t know. But they’re not buying that cheap booze.” Mailey mumbled, her eyes focused on the insane amount of liquor at the couple of tables they were occupying. The two of you eventually started forgetting about them, talking about random things that happened throughout the week. 

“Not to freak you out, but there’s a guy that keeps looking at you. A cute guy.” The girl across from you said after about an hour of the two of you being there. You furred your brows slightly at her words, before turning your head in their direction. That’s when you met his eyes for the first time. He had a slight grin on his face as he stared into your eyes, nodding along to whatever the guy next to him was saying. You sent him a small smile, waving slightly, which he answered with a nod. 

“More like hot guy.” You mumbled, looking back over at your best friend. You had had a couple of flings here and there, but nothing ever serious, and you were never used to getting boys’ attention on a night out. 

“He’s going to the bar. Go talk to him.” Mailey announced, making you turn your head to look at him. At the same time, he looked over at your table, sending you a small wink when your eyes met. 

“Rich coming from someone who always says girls don’t chase, they attract.” You teased, making her roll her eyes. You eventually decided to go up to him later that night, talking for a bit before exchanging numbers. Jack, you learned his name was, didn’t seem to want to get into talking about his group of friend too much, so you kept all your questions to yourself. 

Over the next couple of weeks, the two of you got to know each other. Your friendship slowly formed and the two of you grew closer each other. But, clearly Jack was still holding back on some stuff. He still refused to open up about his friends and what he does as a living exactly. You told yourself that he’d tell you when he was ready, but you were getting a little impatient, which is why you pretty much forced the answer out of him when you went over to his apartment one day. 

“When are you gonna tell me?” You asked, pausing the show the two of you were watching. Your words made him look over at you, a confused expression on his face as his eyes met yours. 

“What do you mean?” 

“When are you gonna tell me truth, Jack. If that’s even your name.” You sassed, making the boy next to you let out a deep sigh as he threw his head back. 

“D’you wanna see my birth certificate?” He answered coldly, making you scoff. “What I do doesn’t matter, Y/N, so just drop it.” 

“If it doesn’t matter than why won’t you tell me, Jack? You know pretty much everything about me and my life, and barely know anything from yours. God, you won’t even tell me the names of your brothers!” 

“Why do you care so much?” 

“Because I like you, Jack! And… and I though you liked me back, but clearly I was wrong.” You admitted, standing up from your spot on the couch as you started packing up your things. “Just forget it.” You mumbled as you started making your way to the door. You were stopped right as you were about to grab onto the doornob. 

“Y/N, wait!” He said, grabbing your wrist and turning you around before you could leave. “I like you too, Y/N, and I’m sorry I haven’t been honest with you, but I didn’t want what I do in life to influence how you see me. I’ve had way too many people use me and I didn’t want that to happen again because I really like you.” 

“Jack, I made it clear hundreds of that time that I what you do in life wouldn’t change the way I see you, but you kept hiding from me. It makes me feel like you don’t trust me.” You explained with a scoff. The boy in front of you sighed before cupping your face in his head, his forehead leaning against yours. 

“I know, I know, I should’ve told you a long time ago. But what we have, it’s really special to me, and it’s so good. I didn’t want to ruin it.” 

“You’d have to be a serial killer for me to change my mind about how I feel, Jack.” 

“Stay. Please. I’ll tell you everything, I promise, just don’t leave me, please.” He begged, his thumbs rubbing small circles under your eyes. You swallowed harshly before slightly nodding your head yes. Jack then brough the two of you back to his couch, and he stuck to his promise. He started going on and on about his life, starting with the fact that he played hockey for the Devils. Then he moved on to telling you pretty much every single memory he had about the sport, a wide grin plastered on his face. 

In exchange, you opened up to him about some of the insecurities you had because you were homeschooled, including having to attened big parties and being surrounded by large crowds. Jack had promised that was something he would never put your through, but you quickly learned that his promise meant nothing to him. 

I broke a glass, I tripped and fell

I told secrets I shouldn’t tell

I stumbled over all my words

I made it weird, I made it worse

Each time I step outside, it’s social suicide

It’s social suicide, wanna curl up and die

It’s social suicide

It had now been three months since Jack asked you out. You had met his brother Luke when the boy came to visit, talked to his parents through face time a while ago, but you had yet to met his friends. You tried hard not to let it bother you, but it did. He didn’t want you attending his games either, claiming he didn’t want people to hate on you because you were his girlfriend. You couldn’t help but overthink the fact that maybe it was just because you were his girlfriend.

You had seen pictures of the other players wives and girlfriends, and you looked nothing like them. They all seemed so outgoing and the life of the party. Not to mention all of the models Jack followed, all of them being the exact opposite of you. You had questioned him about it one night, he just scoffed and said you were being petty and pathetic asking him a question like that. 

“J?” You called out. His arms were wrapped around your waist, your back pressed against his chest. 

“Mm?”

“When am I gonna meet your friends?” You asked quietly, making the boy sigh harshly against the back of your neck. 

“Got to sleep, Y/N.” He mumbled. 

“Could you at least answer me?” 

“I don’t know, okay? Your weird fear of crowds or whatever makes it impossible for you to meet them all at the same time, and I’m not gonna go through the burden of setting up little dates with my teammates just so you can meet them. Can I sleep now, mother?” He answered harshly as his arms left your frame and he turned around, his back to yours. You felt tears prikle in your eyes at his words. 

“I can handle it.” Your voice was low, not trusting your voice not to crack if you talked any louder. Jack let yet another sigh at your words. 

“We’re getting together after the game tomorrow, come if you want.” 

“To your game?” You asked hopeful. You were growing tired of just watching him play through your TV screen, when he was close to your home. 

“No. After.” And just like that, all your hope was crushed. 

“What should I wear?” 

“I don’t know, and I don’t care.” He grumbled, getting out of bed making your head snap towards him as he approached the door. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Guest room. I need peace and you keep talking.” Was the last thing he said before leaving the room. When you woke up the next morning, he was gone, no text no notes, nothing. He didn’t come back for his pregame nap either, which scared you a little. But all your nerves went away when his face appeared on your Instagram feed, a bright smile on his face as the picture the Devils posted illuminated your screen. 

All of your texts to Jack had gone unanswered, as well as your calls. Thankfully, you knew where the team would be heading after the game, it was a local bar near the rink they went to almost every time after a game. You had gotten there a lot later than everyone, spending thirty minutes in your car deciding whether or not Jack would still want you there. You figured there was only one way to find out so in you went. 

The place was crowded, the music loud as the bartenders prepared multiple drinks. Realistically, there wasn’t that many people here, just the team and a couple other regulars, it was just a really small room. It took you a couple of minutes to spot Jack, who was sitting at a table with a couple of his friends and lots of girls. You tried to look as confident as possible as you made your way over to him. Some of his friends and their partners started at you, wondering what someone like you was doing here. 

“Jack?” You called out as you stood behind him. His arm was resting on the chair of a pretty blond girl next to him. You couldn’t quite describe the look in his eyes when his head turned to face you, but the words he was about to say completely crushed you. 

“Do I know you?” He questioned, and you could feel your heart shatter inside of you. You tried your best to keep a brave face on, but you were dying on the inside. 

“J, come one, this isn’t funny. I’ve been texting and calling all day, you were gone when I woke up this morning.” You mumbled, taking a step closer to him. The girl on his right could read you perfectly, and she realized that you two were a couple. When it clicked in her mind, she sent the boy a judging look before standing from her seat and walking back to her friends. 

Jack got up right after her, gripping your wrist and dragging you outside the bar. “What’re you doing here?” He asked harshly once the two of you stood outside alone. 

“No! What are you doing, Jack?”

“I’m enjoying a night with my buddys!” 

“Yeah, the friends you said I could meet. Tonight!”

“When did I say that?” His words were harsh and rude, making your heart shatter even more. You truly did not understand why he always acted this way towards you lately, but you were growing tired of it. 

“Last night! You said I could come if I wanted to, and I want to be here, so here I am. And here you are, with your arm around another girl!” You said, your tone matching his. You were tired of letting him walk over you all the time. 

“I said that so you would shut up and leave me alone. God, you’re always just complaining about everything and anything. It’s like nothing’s ever enough for you, you always need more–” 

“Oh, nothing’s enough for me? What about you, huh? Am I not enough for you?” 

“There you go, making it about you like always.” 

“Because this is about me, Jack! I am your girlfriend of three months, and I don’t know any of your friends! It’s like you’re ashamed to be with me. Do your friends even know about me?” You asked. There were tears in the back of your eyes threatening to spill, but you blinked them away. You had cried enough over him for the last couple of weeks. The boy in front of you stayed silent at your question, making you scoff. 

“Of course they don’t know, just like your brother’s weren’t suppose to know, or your parents. You don’t want anyone to know that your girlfriend is me.” You spoke with your voice low. This exact though had been in the back of your mind for a long time, but saying it out loud made it feel so much more real. 

“Things were better before you knew–” 

“They were better for you! You lied to me for weeks, and you’re still lying. All you do is lie, Jack. I can’t believe I waisted so much time and energy on you. You never wanted this relationship, did you? You just wanted someone to fuck whenever you needed, someone to be there for you. You didn’t care who it was, you neved cared about me. You’re pathetic, seriously.” You mumbled before pushing past the hockey player and walking to your car. 

You were done with Jack Hughes.

[house-of-vandernacht]

To everyone freaking out over NM S2 premiering a wee bit later than expected. The amount of time/effort R&F put into this is colossal. They constantly and consistently pull 60-70 hour weeks. Week after week with no break, upwards of a year and longer, to the point they flirt with burnout like Leo/nore flirts with Annabel. That to me is the exact opposite of lazy. Over the last year, I and others have witnessed this mind-blowing work ethic first hand. Its insane the amount of work they put in. Often eps are well over the minimum panel amount, they don't have to do 10-20 panels more than the minimum, but they do it as they want to tell a good story with each episode ending where it feels natural. The next thing: Nobody is entitled to any creator's time, or gets to dictate how they spend their personal time off. A hiatus is merely an opportunity to create buffer. R&F are under no obligation to use it that way. It is their choice to. It is also a time for them to regroup, recover from fatigue -- as any artist or writer knows headspace is important to the creative process -- attend to the shop, catch up on any admin that needs doing, and a litany of other things that people need to do to go about their daily lives. This break -- because lets call it what it is, if this were a normal 8-6 we'd call it UPTO -- is for them to take time to themselves, same as any other job. If they want to play Star Dew Valley to relax or decompress or ruminate on an idea, who the heck are we to deny them that? They're two human beings, not machines.

Thirdly: Please consider: There is so much more that goes on behind the scenes of a comic of this calibre that we as readers don't see. (Think of an iceberg, how they are so much bigger than the tip that pokes above the ocean's surface.) R&F don't just make it up on the spot. There's script writing, planning, research, editing, more planning, rough storyboarding, more research, tests, and probably a heck of a lot more pre-production stuff than I can even guess at before sketching can even be considered commencing. We don't know their creative process, nor are we entitled to demand an explanation of their process, or that they use their personal time differently. (Personally, I listen to music and walk but what is one person's jam, might not be another's.) Nevermore S2 premiering a little later than expected is not some big drama its being made out to be. Its perfectly normal. I cant count the amount of times I've heard some comic/ book/tv series/movie has been delayed for whatever reason. (I've been waiting seven years for one book I won't mention here, as an example.) I don't know about you, but I know Id much prefer to read something that has been well thought out, with attention to fine detail applied to it than something rushed and shoddy. Give them grace to cook! I know we might be a wee bit disappointed, especially when we're so eager to find out what potential horrors might befall characters we've grown to know and love on the eve of one heck of a tantalising cliff hanger, but I ask that you all show a little patience and, more importantly, understanding.

[punksocks]

Astrology Observations No.17

*just my opinions, only take what resonates

-Combine your Venus and rising for something you love to do and how you do it. I like to travel somewhere new (Sagittarius Venus) and start completely fresh (Scorpio rising)

A Leo Rising, Libra venus may like to be the center of attention in a new relationship and may be inspired to create with new love; a Cancer Venus, Virgo rising may really decompress by organizing their home; etc

-How come so many comedians have sun conjunct Mercury?? I’m guessing the charisma you gain when you speak from the placement and also being able to like cleverly convey what you mean. (Also heavy Sag placements bc ofc. But also a lot of Virgo/Gemini/Scorpio placements as well)

-Aquarius suns are more competitive than Leo suns imo. I think when Aqua suns compete they often ride on their intelligence so that ups the stakes for them.

-Leo suns have a very like specific approach you gotta take if you’re gonna critique them though. They’re sensitive and they are not going to take criticism from just anyone. They get sensitive about personal experiences over general competition compared to Aquarius suns imo.

-I think out of all the signs either Aquarius or Scorpio suns are the most proud of their sign. (My mom used to compete with me to name Aquarius characters and celebrities and throw Capricorns she didn’t like in my face. When I was like 8. It was too much lol)

-I think Leo suns pride typically themselves on pop culture knowledge to some degree (like keeping up with critically acclaimed films and shows)(I think this applies to Leo Asc and moon as well)

-Wherever Pisces is can highlight where you need to take care of your mental health.Pisces moon can indicate being very emotionally affected by your family and general environment. Pisces Venus can indicate being affected by your relationships and friendships. In general Pisces/Neptune means a detachment but also being vulnerable to illusions and energies other than your own.

-Capricorn can show where you need to find the strength to stand up for yourself. Capricorn moons have to defend their emotionality. Capricorn suns have to defend their sense of self. Capricorn Mercury may find themselves in several debates over things they believe in.

-Sagittarius can show where you are attractive to foreigners* (meaning people you travel to/that are outside of your culture) Sag Asc/Sun/Venus or Sun/Venus in the 9th house could point to being charismatic and attracting friends when you travel.

-Chiron hard aspects (conjunct, square, opposition) to moon can make you a very private person

-Saturn in Cancer could indicate trouble with an emotionally unstable father or father figure

-Virgo placements (Sun, Moon, Rising, Mercury, Venus, Mars) don’t just like to complain, they need to complain to blow off steam by highlighting all the little inefficiencies of life. Sometimes it’s worse to offer a solution to their complaints (I’ve definitely done this before lol)

-I think Aquarius suns like having unpopular opinions on popular things. Aquarius moons will go for more obscure/underground stuff. Gemini/3rd house moons or 3rd house Jupiter or like Gemini/Virgo mars can go super deep on those topics. (Ex. My Aquarius moon dad showed me indie movies when I was younger but when I showed him and my siblings Everything Everywhere All At Once and called it artsy and didn’t understand it lol, but like my ex was a Virgo mars and we would watch 10 movies from an obscure surrealist 60s Japanese director just for kicks.)

[philtstone]

Shawn/Juliet, "holding hands under the table"

i cant actually find which number it is from this list of prompts but that could just be my brain being fried from the week. also, everyone can feel free to send me more prompts lol. strike while the iron is hot, etc. this might be the most sedate tone i've ever hit with a psych fic. set immediately after the s5 finale -- like, hours after -- and hopefully the characters are all at the right place, emotionally. theres definitely a bit of a grey zone there in s5-6 where a lot is left unsaid but kind of known but also kind of not known. oh, jules.

She asks Lassiter to give her a ride because she probably shouldn’t be driving with a recent head injury. EMTs said no concussion, which is a good thing, but Juliet feels shaken enough that she’s going to do the intelligent, grown up woman thing and ask a friend for a favor.

She can’t help but wonder if maybe she does have a concussion after all, because Carlton behaves extremely fucking weirdly for pretty much the entirety of the drive.

Considering it’s Carlton, that’s really saying something.

“Vick gave me Shawn and Gus’s check,” she says as smoothly as she can, as they get in the car. It’s not entirely a lie, but it does feel oddly duplicitous in a way that holding hands with Shawn under the briefing table earlier didn’t. “Can you drop me off at the house?”

“House?” says her usually gruff partner, high-pitched. She’d caught him at the last second and kind of serendipitously, right as he was making his way out of the station, looking spooked, his jacket only half-on. At the time Juliet felt relieved, but now she’s wondering if maybe he’d needed some time to decompress before being made responsible for another person’s safety again. “What house? Spencer’s house? Doesn’t he live in a laundromat?”

“Henry’s house,” Juliet says, giving him a weird look while he turns the car on. His right eye is twitching. It’s possible that the evening’s events shook him more than he’s willing to admit; wouldn’t be the first time. “Gus told me they headed over there for the night. Carlton, are you alright?”

“I’m just spiffy,” he says through oddly gritted teeth, and sounds the opposite of. “One drop off, coming right up.”

Juliet decides she’ll figure it out in the morning. Her head kind of hurts, as does her elbow, and the catharsis she’d hoped to achieve through finally putting her signature down on that paper has left her a little bit shaky.

It feels good, though. She’ll probably have a good cry in the shower later on.

We did it, says Shawn’s voice in her head, so firm and final and confident. Her stomach and chest and general person are suddenly overcome with a slamming wave of affection she definitely was not prepared for. Swallowing, Juliet tucks her phone between her legs and shoots him a quick text. Wrapped up at the station.

Incoming text from SHAWN SPENCER:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABE WITH THE POWER!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

u gonna go home & rest?

Shawn’s texts were exuberant before they started dating, too, but the million heart emojis are a recent development. Something about their introduction makes Juliet want to clench her hands together, melt into the ground, and laugh hysterically at the same time. Shawn turns being a walking contradiction into an art form sometimes. So terrified of facing all the love he’s got to give head-on, but so reckless and sloppy about leaving a trail of it around.

Maybe that’s why she’s fallen so hard for him, Juliet thinks; it matches her inexplicable combination of extreme trust and extreme caution.

Okay. Woah. Too much. Chill out, Juliet; now’s not really the time.

Not with Carlton showing all the signs of working through a hernia in the driver’s seat beside her, mere hours after Serial Killer Takedown.

Yeah, Juliet replies to her boyfriend, then lays her head against the cool car window, closing her eyes before she can notice Carlton’s alarmed glances at her phone.

When they pull up, half the house lights are on. Clearly no one is sleeping, despite the horribly late hour. Juliet glances down at her phone again and realizes it’s pushing three in the morning. She winces. 

“Are you going to be okay driving home?” she asks, one hand on the door handle. Carlton’s staring directly out of the windshield at the house, looking aggrieved in that way that gives him the general look and demeanor of a wet cat. She really hopes he’s okay.

“Fine,” he says. Juliet holds her phone against her lap and sighs. 

“Alright.”

“O’Hara –” he begins, pained, as she opens the door.

“Yeah?”

“I …” A beat. “Nothing. I’m – you get some rest tonight. And – and stay safe.”

“I will,” Juliet replies, surprised by how sincerely the words come out.

Given everything that’s happened, she didn’t expect her own confidence on the subject to be so strong.

Juliet steps out onto the front lawn and watches her partner drive away. Behind her the house silhouettes itself in its own lit glow and the quiet sounds and salty smell of the ocean close by begin to properly filter into her consciousness. She stands still for a few long moments in the dark, which is less threatening now than it was a few hours ago. The humidity thickens her hair and her breath fogs in front of her. When she got Shawn’s text that he and Gus were crashing at his dad’s house instead of the Psych office, call if u need anything jules, she’d been yearning for a shower a bit too much to really think about it. Once her paperwork was out of the way, though, a shower became less important than – whatever feeling brought her here.

Shawn would say it was the idea of pancakes. She likes to think she’s capable of marginally more emotional vulnerability than he is.

She bites her lip, then presses send on the text.

Home.

The response is an immediate string of emojis, mainly the heart bubbles but with the addition of a few inexplicable inanimate objects too. She’s not sure what the megaphone or candelabra or pineapple are supposed to represent, but she’s smiling when she knocks on the kitchen door, which is meaning enough for her.

Henry opens it. He looks — exhausted, about the same as Juliet feels, despite the lack of head injury or general bodily trauma. The lines in his face immediately soften at the sight of her. Juliet refuses point blank to allow her eyes to well up.

“In you come,” Henry sighs, making way. Dr. Spencer — Maddie, Juliet supposes — is at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea. Muffled sounds of a television come from the next room. Juliet vaguely recognizes them as Phineas and Ferb.

At her entrance, Madeline raises an interested eyebrow and glances at Henry, but beyond that moment of silent communication says nothing.

“Do you want some tea?” she asks simply.

“Please.”

Henry squeezes her shoulder, gently enough that she realizes he somehow noticed and filed away all her injuries earlier. Henry Spencer the detective still surprises her sometimes. “Boys are in the living room,” he says, and goes back to the table while his ex-wife putters around the kitchen more comfortably than is probably wise.

Juliet chews on her lip again. An amused smile fights its way to the surface, coupled with an odd twang of yearning that doesn’t really make much sense. Poor Shawn, she thinks, and it's almost a laugh in the same way she’s almost about to cry. But that’s been true all evening. Henry pulls out another old photograph from the box they seemed to be sorting through before her arrival and peers over the top of his reading glasses.

“Oh God, can you believe I used to wear this stuff in public? You hated this thing.”

“If by this thing you mean that horrible yellow suit …”

“See, it wasn’t the yellow that was the problem. The cut did nothing to flatter my physique.”

Madeline is laughing when Juliet slips out, chamomile tea in hand, to the living room.

At the entrance she stops and takes her heels off. Phineas and Ferb is playing, and loudly at that. As promised, Shawn and Gus are huddled on the couch nursing their empty pancake containers, smelling like sugar and more or less dressed in PJs; she spots what’s surely one of Henry’s old fishing t-shirts, cartoonish in the logo and slightly too baggy on Shawn. She knows any old clothes he keeps in the closet here probably don’t fit him anymore. Juliet wonders if Gus went home to change or if he, too, borrowed clothes. Shawn’s hair has flattened a bit where he must have yanked his shirt down over his head, floofy the way it can be in the mornings sometimes. He’s holding a pillow against his chest. Gus’s sock has a hole in the big toe. Every so often one or both of them will giggle at the TV. 

Her eyes do well up, then. 

Of course Shawn picks that exact second to notice her.

He notices a lot of things, Juliet has come to observe, few of which fit congruously with the many things he forgets or overlooks or can’t be bothered over. She wonders if that’s just an extension of how the spirits work, and if he’d explain it to her if she asked him. There’s a resigned part of her that doesn’t think he will, and a practical part of her that guesses at an attention deficit diagnosis that probably gave him some grief growing up and doesn’t really pair well with psychic visions or an enduring fear of being too vulnerable.

Three in the morning is too late to be mulling any of this stuff over, Juliet thinks. Besides which, most of it becomes suddenly irrelevant as she’s hit with the expression that takes over his face at the sight of her.  

Three in the morning, she reminds herself. Near death experience. Don’t read into it.

Shawn doesn’t say anything, only looks at her with all that throat-closing tenderness Juliet has ignored so many times before. I think you’re swell, he’d said. In some ways, she’s always been able to see right through him without even trying. 

Gus is wedged right beside him, hogging the blankets. There’s enough room on the couch for Juliet to fit on the other side of them. 

She walks over, hands Shawn her tea, and climbs into his lap. Her knees bend over his right leg, her shoulder sinks into his chest and her head settles against his neck. Shawn still doesn’t say anything. He just sets the mug down carefully on the floor, takes a deep, relieving breath, and wraps his arms around her. She hadn’t really worried that Gus might complain, but when he reaches over unprompted and squeezes Juliet’s unhurt elbow, the last little knot in her chest dissolves fully. She gropes her hand over the upholstery and squeezes his arm back.

“... latest in my brilliant line of ‘Inators, I call it the Unlikely-Inator! She pairs beautifully with the Likeli-Inator 2000. Together, Perry the Platypus, I shall use them to somehow take over the Tri-State area, and then the world!”

“You wanna change?” Shawn murmurs into her hair after a moment. 

“Later,” Juliet says.

“Mmmkay.”

The old t-shirt is soft against the skin of her cheek and smells like laundry detergent. The rest of the house smells like a family lives in it, even though Juliet knows that’s not really true, and it also smells like Shawn, a little bit. Shawn smells like Shawn, too. His chest rumbles beneath her with every soft laugh the cartoon pulls out of him. 

“Oh – oh, remember this, this next bit is really funny,” Gus says. His voice is just as soft as Shawn’s.

“Man, you know I have this whole show memorized.”

“I’ve never really seen it,” Juliet says quietly. They watch as the little platypus karate kicks Dr. Doofenshmirtz in the head.

“I know,” says Shawn. “But that’s being rectified. Ha! Gus, we should turn the Psych office into a funhouse next week. Just to see if we can.”

He pats her thigh and Juliet feels a small smile turn up the corners of her mouth against Shawn’s neck.

“Shawn, I am not stepping foot in another amusement park since that crazy-ass chick and her boyfriend tried murdering everyone last month. We can try turning it into a bunny sanctuary instead.”

“I like the way you think, hermano. Wait wait, here comes the explosion. Classic!”

She falls asleep slowly, lulled by the comfortable heat of Shawn’s body and the muted, silly sounds from the television. 

When Juliet wakes up, her cheek is pressed against an actual pillow, she’s horizontal, and she has no idea what day it is. She blinks against the grit in her eyes and the fact that her whole body is sore before realizing she slept on a couch. Someone put a pillow under her head and a blanket over her body and took the time to change her out of her gross work clothes. She looks down, only mildly discombobulated. She’s wearing the old fishing t-shirt Shawn had on last night and what must be a pair of Madeline’s pajama pants. They’re a pretty purple color and silky against her legs. She definitely still has her underwear on. A soft snore comes from the ground below her and Juliet realizes she’s still in the living room at Shawn’s dad’s house; Shawn himself is burritoed in an ancient sleeping bag on the ground directly beneath her and Gus is sprawled on a camp bed that’s a bit too small for him on the other side of the coffee table. They’re both still fast asleep. The light coming from the window is light enough that it’s properly morning, but the rest of the house is still dead quiet. A soft blue light appears suddenly on the coffee table; her phone is vibrating, which she realizes must have been the thing that woke her up in the first place.

She reaches carefully over Shawn to grab it. The home screen shows a text from Carlton, received minutes ago.

Got home alright?

She could say that Gus gave her a ride; it would be another easy lie, and he’d happily corroborate it. She hates the idea, though. She looks down at Shawn’s sleeping form, the unruly tuft of hair poking out from beneath the blankets and the drool on his pillow. Telling Carlton would be a bad idea, she knows.

Juliet types, for a second time trying not to think too hard about it, Yes, home. Safe and sound.

She sinks back into the surprisingly comfortable couch cushions, instinctively curling into herself, full of feeling she can’t quite articulate. After a moment of staring silently at the wall, Juliet turns onto her back and reaches one quiet arm down. The tips of her fingers meet the soft warm skin of Shawn’s ear, and when he doesn’t wake up, she keeps her knuckles there, barely moving, only rubbing her thumb up and down every so often. 

Everything else can be a problem for tomorrow. Slowly, she falls asleep again. 

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ignoring my partner when they come over?

so my partner (26X) and i (24X) have been together for 2 years, and have an on-and-off cohabitation situation. we lived together for a bit out of convenience, but now we're back to living separately. they come over to my place and spend the night usually about once a week, and we talk over text/phone daily.

i work full-time, which leaves me with limited time for my hobbies, which includes video games and writing fanfiction. my partner is aware that after i get home from work i need a certain amount of "me time" to decompress, since my job is sometimes stressful.

with all that context, it's happened a couple times that my partner is over for the night, but we spend several hours sitting on opposite ends of the couch because i want to focus on one of my hobbies (which also requires enough of my focus that i can't really hold a conversation at the same time). they've pointed this out to me while being very understanding, acknowledging that i might not be in the right space to give them attention/affection. we still get to spend time together, we often have long conversations before we go to sleep, but i know that they would be happier if i paid more attention to them. from my perspective, we're at a point in our relationship where we can be comfortable just existing together, and we've cohabitated enough that making grand romantic gestures or setting aside my whole evening for them every time they come over feels like overkill.

tldr, i don't change my routine when my partner comes over, which leads me to ignore them for several hours while i unwind when i know my partner would probably rather do something together. AITA or am i justified in not going out of my way for them?

What are these acronyms?

[k-evans-reads]

In Living Color

Chapter 25

We do NOT give permission for our works to be reuploaded, translated, or reposted on any other site. Our work is our own.

Previous | Main Masterlist | In Living Color Masterlist

July 25th, 2022

Chris let out a sigh of relief as he stepped into his mother’s house from the back door, the cool air of the home giving him and Scott a reprieve from the heatwave outside. They found their Ma in her kitchen, putting away some groceries with a smile on her face as she saw her sons. 

“I certainly didn’t expect to see you here today,” Lisa greeted, coming over to hug them both. She hugged Scott before hugging Chris, holding her oldest son's arms as she pulled away and told him, “I figured it would take at least another day for you to recover from the press tour.” 

Chris laughed, the sound echoing through the otherwise quiet home. “Oh I’ll be going to bed early tonight, that’s for sure,” he assured her with a nod. 

Scott smirked at the words, moving to grab a cup from a cabinet and fill it with water. “I’m honestly surprised that you didn’t just fly straight to San Francisco to see Nat,” he drawled, his voice booming. 

“Yeah, it’s been what? A month since you’ve seen her?” Lisa asked, raising a brow as she dropped her hands from Chris’ arms and headed back into the kitchen, pulling groceries from the bags resting on the island counter. 

“I was with her over the fourth so almost a month,” he corrected, leaning down to pet his Ma’s dogs as they danced at his feet. But then he thought back to his visit earlier in the month, at the fleeting moments they’d had together, but otherwise… he’d been alone. Nat’s schedule was busier than ever, if it was even possible, and she spent so much time glued to her laptop that he missed her even when he was there. “I miss Nat so fuckin’ much but I’m almost thinking about staying here.” 

Lisa raised a brow suspiciously as she closed the fridge, tucking the reusable grocery bags into each other. “Oh really?” She asked him while she looked at him curiously. 

“I’m just so exhausted. Going from filming earlier this year to the Lightyear press and right into The Gray Man press, I’m just so tired,” he murmured with a shake of his head as he leaned his hip against the island. “And now that I’ll be going to Atlanta soon for Pain Hustlers, I feel like I just need a break away from everything.” 

“Maybe Nat could come out here instead?” 

“Yeah I think I might ask her if she could,” Chris nodded his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see her, in fact, the opposite was true but after being dragged from one interview to another then put on a plane to make another appearance and do the whole routine again, he was craving his safe space more than ever. He just wanted to be home and sleep in his own bed, have home cooked meals, and decompress in the place he felt the most himself. Chris ran a hand through his hair while he mused, “I want to see her so bad, but when I’m there during the week, she’s at work anyway so it’s not like we get to spend much time together.” 

He watched as Lisa pursed her lips while she listened to his words. “Well maybe once you rest up a little more, you could go out for a weekend,” she suggested, her eyebrows raising hopefully as she looked at her oldest son. He shrugged his shoulders at that as he heard Scott’s small noise of agreement and sighed. 

“I don’t have many more weekends before I start filming again,” he began as he stared down at the marble countertop. He’d gotten the official schedules for both shoots a few weeks ago, and there was virtually no spare time once he started the first project, but what little time he had left before was quickly getting filled up in Massachusetts. He hadn’t been home for a long stretch of time since the previous year, and even then he spent most of 2021 in Los Angeles, growing his relationship with Nat. He’d missed home, missed seeing his family, the kids, getting to just live without constantly looking over his shoulder. And the growing list of responsibilities from ASP that he’d been ignoring while working were piling up, and his schedule was full of tasks between now and the middle of August. By then, he’d jump right into the shoots around Florida and Georgia with the cast of Pain Hustlers to then be in Atlanta working for months on end for Red One, having no real opportunities to visit Nat in California. “I just hate to disappoint Nattie.” 

“Honey, you know Nat will understand,” Lisa placated her son, looking at him seriously as she listened to his words. “She won’t want you to kill yourself just to come see her.” 

Chris shook his head, explaining, “Oh I know she’ll understand, Nat always does.” 

“I know a certain dog who will be happy that you’ll be around here for a while,” she pointed out with a small chuckle, shaking her head in amusement.

“You should have seen how I woke up this morning. Dodger was laying right on top of me,” Chris laughed, thankful for the shift in conversation away from him changing his and Nat’s plans. 

Scott’s dry laugh cut through the room as he told their mother, “He’s been right on Chris’ heels all day.” 

Lisa smiled at the comment, before her eyes turned curious and she looked at Chris as he finally sat down in a barstool next to Chris. “What were you guys up to today?” She asked them both, looking between them. 

“Well…” Chris started as Scott bit his lip, turning to look at him as well. With both his Ma’s and Scott’s eyes on him, a smile crossed his lips.  “That’s actually part of the reason we came over…” 

“Why’s that?” 

A warm smile crossed his lips as his brain was able to switch from the exhaustion his whole body was clouded in, to instead thinking about the purchase he made hours earlier and the meaning that came with it as he told his mother, “I bought something for Nat today that I wanted to show you…” 

He could feel Lisa’s eyes on him as he pulled the velvet box out of the plain white bag and handed it over to her. He watched as she flipped it open and saw the shining diamond ring inside as she gasped, “Chris, you got her a ring? You’re going to ask her to marry you?” 

“Yeah Ma, I am,” a warmth spread throughout him as he said those words out loud. 

Chris could see the tears glossing her eyes as she gasped, “Oh honey, I couldn’t be happier.” 

“Me neither,” he shook his head almost in disbelief that this was really happening. His own tears started gathering in his blue eyes, making him blink furiously before he swallowed the emotional lump in his throat, “I think I’ve known for a while now that Nat was the one for me but when I was with her in San Francisco for our anniversary earlier this year I just… knew. I just don’t want anyone but her.” 

“I knew from that first time I met her that you two would be together,” Lisa stated firmly before going over to hug her eldest son tightly. 

“I think we all knew that one,” Scott chimed in with a chuckle from where he had sat down at the counter, knowing that Chris and Nat being together was something they all saw coming a mile away. 

Chris had to wipe a hand along his cheeks, swiping away the tears as he admitted, “I just love her so much. I never even knew it could feel like this,” 

“I’m so happy for you Chris. I can honestly say this is the best decision you’ve ever made,” his mother encouraged him with a hand rubbing up and down his back but then wanted to know, “When are you going to ask her?” 

The question was one he’d been thinking about a lot but still hadn’t figured out an answer to, letting her in, “I’m not sure yet. I don’t really have a specific time so I’m just going to ask her when the moment feels right.” 

Lisa couldn’t help but give him another hug, squeezing him tightly as she once again told him just how happy she was before the conversation shifted toward dinner and the brothers decided to stay and help get things ready. As Chris was pulling out the plates, his gaze drifted down to the ring box that was sitting open on the counter and felt the conversation happening around him seem to drift away. He picked up the box and looked at that sparkling ring, imagining what it would look like on Nat’s hand and almost finding it unbelievable that at the beginning of the previous year he hadn’t even met her, but now here he was ready to place this on her hand with the promise of forever. 

He loved her so much it almost hurt and even as insecure and indecisive as he could be, this was one decision that didn’t leave any doubts in his mind other than the timing. With his schedule being full with two more movies and Nat being in San Francisco for her job, he didn’t know the next time that they’d get any extended amount of time together and although it left him at a loss on how to fully support her while he wasn’t there, he had come to see through their breakup that none of it mattered. Sure, it was a hurdle they’d need to figure out how to cross, but all that mattered is that he had Nat in his life and he wanted her forever. Chris knew that this was the best thing that could ever happen to him, but what he didn’t know is that while he stood here full of joy and peace, the woman he loved was across the country feeling desperately trapped in the new job and life she had chosen and felt more stuck that she ever had in her life. 

Nat shut the creaking door behind her and locked the deadbolt, closing her eyes and leaning her head against the door as she felt her muscles tense. She looked around her dark apartment, feeling… indifferent to everything. Coming home had always been something sacred to her, her escape, her happy place, where she hosted friends, family, game nights, and movie nights. But here… she’d hole up for days over a weekend without having anyone here who would reach out to say, “Hey! Haven’t seen you this weekend, want to grab brunch tomorrow?”, only to hear a ping alerting her to new emails. It was no longer a place of refuge to her, instead, it felt like a place where she couldn’t take a deep breath, where she could never relax, where no one would come looking, or even stop by. She was completely alone here in this silent apartment, but the one bright spot that had gotten her through so many days was knowing that in one day, her apartment would be occupied by the heart-of-gold man that she loved so dearly. His laughter would fill the tiny space, his hands would rub her aching back, and his presence would fill the void in her heart that had been hurting so badly. 

When her phone started ringing, she pulled it out and saw his name on her screen, bringing out the first genuine smile in a long time as she held it up to her ear and greeted him with a hello that sounded a lot less enthusiastic than she intended but just couldn’t seem to muster anything more. 

“Hi honey, is this a good time?” He asked her, his voice filling her ear. 

She nodded, suppressing the sigh that caught in her throat. “Yeah I’m just walking through my door,” she told him, hanging her bag on the hook by the door as she kicked her shoes off. 

Nat heard him huff out a breath, his voice quiet as he pointed out, “Nattie, it’s almost eight there.” 

She shook her head, frowning at his concern. She knew it was well placed, it always was. They cared about each other to be making those jabs at the other, but it didn’t mean her shoulders relaxed a little at every concerned comment he made. If anything, it made her feel a little worse. “I know, it just was a busy day,” she explained, her voice quiet as she turned on the lights and stepped further into the apartment. 

“Will you promise me that you’ll have some dinner?” 

“I promise I will,” she told him, glancing towards the shoebox of a kitchen before she headed into the living room, sitting down on the couch with a sigh. “I actually am a little surprised to hear from you. I figured you’d be asleep with you flying out here tomorrow.” 

“That’s actually what I wanted to call you about,” he began, pausing as he sighed. Nat froze, listening as he finally asked, “Nattie, would it disappoint you if I didn’t come out to San Francisco?” 

Her brows furrowed and her hand reached, plucking a few threads from the worn blanket on the couch as she fidgeted anxiously. “Is everything okay?” She asked worriedly, unsure if something had happened 

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine, I’m just so exhausted,” he admitted and Nat could have been able to know that without his admission. The weariness in his voice was evident even if she hadn’t known how packed his schedule had been but kept listening as he sighed, “I feel like I’ve just been going non-stop for the past couple months and then with heading into doing two more movies this year, I just feel really overwhelmed. I just want some time to decompress.” 

“Of course I’m sad not to see you but that’s fine Chris, I want you to take care of yourself,” Nat told him truthfully. In reality, hearing those words felt like a punch in the gut or as if all the air from her lungs had just been taken away. Having him come out to see her had been the one saving grace through all of this. She knew that if she could just make it to when she’d get to have his arms around her again, then maybe she could do this. Maybe that would help center her again, but in an instant that had been stolen away. 

But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t burden him with the knowledge of how much she was struggling while he was so burnt out and had to recharge before being thrown into filming again. Besides, he had warned her. He was the one who told her that this job wasn't for her and that it didn’t seem like the right move for her and he had been right. Nat just couldn’t let anyone, especially herself, know how much this job was taking a toll on her. It was just a job and the fact that she couldn’t seem to handle it only made her feel like even more of a failure than ever. 

“I hope you know how much I want to see you and it has nothing to do with that,” Chris went on to assure her, but it brought little healing to her heart because all she could feel was that she was alone yet again. “I also figured that when I’m there during the week I don’t get to see you much anyway and thought that maybe you could come out for a weekend if you have time or I could come out there before Atlanta.” 

“I’m not sure yet what my schedule is but we’ll figure something out. I want you to just decompress,” she rushed to tell him, trying hard to cover up the tears and heavy emotion in her voice. 

“Are you sure, Nat?” 

Nat just took a deep breath, trying to steady her voice before responding with, “I am, I want you to rest. I know how important it is to you to be able to be away from everything in Boston.” 

“Thanks for understanding, baby. I love you so much and I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?” 

Nat pushed out a quick “I love you too” before hearing the line hang up. She couldn’t even pull the phone away from her ear before silent tears started spilling out of her eyes. With a shaky finger she clicked the red button before trudging over to the couch where she laid down and grabbed a pillow, clutching it to her chest as the tears just wouldn’t stop pouring down her face. 

Nat was so proud of Chris. She was so proud of all he’d done this year, pushing himself with the films he was doing and going through the press tours he hated so much while traveling the world in a whirlwind. She was so happy that he could recognize when he needed a break, and just decompress. She was so glad that he had a place to do that, where he had a home to just be himself and relax but right now she just hated it so much that the home wasn’t with her. 

Using the sleeve of her sweatshirt, she furiously wiped at her eyes and sat up. Nat tried so hard to just pull it together, but the moment her eyes glanced out the window of her apartment and she saw the almost tauntingly beautiful view of San Francisco, heavy sobs started pouring out of hers as those tears that she had just wiped away were quickly replaced. Just one look at that view reminded her that she was here in the city by the bay, completely and utterly alone. 

She had always loved her job, working as an animator was truly a dream come true. Nat was just a normal girl who had been given an incredible gift by having a father who believed in her, sending her to art school to follow her dreams but it felt like somehow her real dream, the real longing of her heart had slipped through her fingers. Nat had been so happy working at Disney, settling into a life in California over the past decade and having an incredible group of friends, including Mark and Jamie who had become more like family to her. 

But COVID had changed everything for her. In that time frame, her engagement to Shane had ended, Nat had become so much more self assured and knew who she was, but after being able to spend months at home with her family, she had moved back to California with a loneliness in her heart and a longing for something more. For the first time in her life she had seen how much she wanted more than her job. She wanted her own family and to be able to love someone and have them love her in return. 

And then Chris came into her life. 

So much had changed since he’d made his unexpected entrance in her life and Nat had found out so many more things about herself and what she wanted. He helped her to rest in who she was and embrace what it was that made her… well, her. He was her best friend and gave her peace in a way that she couldn’t quite explain. But there was still a part of her that let those little voices into the back of her head, remembering the looks she’d gotten from people when she was younger and said her dream was to be an artist. She remembered the jokes so many made when they asked what she was going to do for a ‘real job’ and the sting of that in her formative years still was underneath the surface. 

Nat’s fingers were clutching tight on that pillow as she thought back to her dad dropping her off at art school as he hugged her tightly and told her how proud of her he was and that he knew she’d do great things. Ever since then all she had wanted to do was prove him right, to show everyone she wasn’t just the overemotional chaotic artist little sister behind two intelligent successful older sisters who seemed to be able to do all the things she viewed herself incapable of. 

So here she was. Accepting this job that she thought would somehow prove something. That somehow would be the icing on the cake of ‘See? I can be a successful artist’ but all it had done was show her just how right Chris had been about all of this. This wasn’t what she wanted. She hated every bit of this job. She wanted so much more than this now. She wanted Chris. She wanted a family. She wanted to create for herself. But there was no turning back now. There was no way that she could go to her boss only a couple months after starting and basically say she wanted to be demoted, especially when her position back in Burbank had already been filled. Not to mention that she had taken a stand with this job and Chris, resulting in them temporarily breaking up. That felt like such a huge failure in her mind and that was something Nat simply just couldn’t take at the moment. 

So here she had been, putting her nose to the grindstone and putting in her hours, trying to get through the days with the light at the end of the tunnel being August. The month when she’d get her best friend back. When she’d finally get to feel his arms around her. When she’d finally not dread the weekends and spend them crying in bed but instead fill them with laughter and happiness with Chris. When she’d finally get to relax for the first time in weeks. Knowing that he was coming to her was like a lifeline, knowing that she just had to make it until then and then hopefully things would be better. But now it felt like that lifeline that was dangling just out of her reach was snatched away and she was left drowning. 

But there was no way she could ask him to come. It was just too selfish. She couldn’t possibly know just how packed his schedule had been and hear his weary voice saying how much he just needed to go home and then ask him to come be with her instead. So here she was. Sitting alone on this couch, tears streaming down her face as she felt completely alone and completely stuck. 

[leeisallknowing]

Lost in Translation (PT. 1)

Lee Felix x Female Y/N | Angst | Word Count: 1.1k

The fluorescent lights seemed to buzz with a cruel intensity as Y/N finished her shift. Every customer interaction had been a trial, every task a chore designed to test the very limits of her patience, not to mention her awful coworkers. To top it all off, the office coffee pot had sputtered its last that morning, leaving her with a lukewarm headache and a bitter aftertaste in her mouth.

Stepping outside, Y/N took a deep breath of the salty air, the familiar scent of the ocean doing little to soothe her frayed nerves. She fumbled for her phone, her fingers clumsy with exhaustion. Dialing Felix's number, she pressed the call button, hoping for a calming chat on the drive home. The phone beeped with a harsh finality as it went straight to voicemail.

"Hey Lix," she forced a chirp into her voice that sounded more like a croak. "Must be swamped. I'll be home in about twenty, save some dinner for your superstar employee?" She pocketed the phone with a sigh, the weight of the day settling on her shoulders like a leaden cloak.

The traffic was, as usual, a nightmare. Bumper to bumper, exhaust fumes stinging her eyes, the minutes stretched into an eternity. By the time Y/N pulled into the driveway, her frustration had hardened into a cold knot in her stomach. Unlocking the door, she called out, "Lix? I'm home!"

Her voice echoed in the emptiness. She dropped her bag on the hall floor with a thud, the sound seeming to crack the tense silence. Following the aroma of greasy goodness, she found Felix sprawled on the couch, phone in hand and a goofy grin plastered on his face, surrounded by an army of takeout containers. Half-eaten bags of chips littered the coffee table, a testament to his solo snacking session.

"Hey," he said, bouncing to his feet and engulfing her in a warm hug and placing a soft kiss on her lips. "How was your day?"

Y/N stiffened instantly. This wasn't unusual behavior for Felix, in fact the two of them would cuddle almost every day they loved it so much, but today, it felt suffocating. The weight of the day, the isolation of the commute, the desperate need for decompression - it all pressed down on her, making his well-meaning gesture feel like an unwelcome intrusion.

"It was..." she managed, trying to push him back gently, her voice strained. "It was rough."

"Rough, huh? That's terrible! But hey, at least you're home now! I, uh, got a bunch of your favorite stuff for dinner. And, uh, rented that movie you wanted to see." He gestured enthusiastically at the overflowing coffee table.

Y/N's smile faltered. He'd not only gotten takeout, but enough food to feed a small army. And the movie, while sweet, wasn't exactly what she needed right now. She felt a surge of something close to panic.

"Felix, this is..." She took a shaky breath. "This is too much. I had a really overwhelming day, and I just need some space."

Felix's smile faltered, replaced by a worried frown. "Space? Like, how much space? I mean, I can move over on the couch-"

"No, not like that!" The knot in her stomach tightened, her voice rising. "I need you to back off. Way off!"

Felix's hands flew up in a placating gesture. "Okay, okay! Jeez, you don't have to yell." His voice, however, held a wounded edge.

Y/N closed her eyes, willing herself to calm down. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "I’m sorry. Listen, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but it's the opposite of what I need right now. I just need some time by myself to unwind."

Felix's shoulders slumped. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Okay. I get it."

The tension in the room was thick. Y/N sank onto the couch, the takeout containers blurring into a meaningless mess. This wasn't how she wanted the night to go. She just wanted some space, some time to decompress, but she felt like a terrible person for needing it. Yelling at Felix was the worst feeling.

The silence stretched between them, a tense battleground in the living room. Y/N stared at the takeout containers, her stomach churning with a mix of hunger and frustration. Felix shuffled in the kitchen, the clatter of dishes a hollow sound.

A few moments later, he reappeared, hesitantly approaching the couch. Y/N tensed as he sat down, much closer than before. "So, maybe you want to watch a little bit of the movie before you take your bath?" he suggested, his voice barely a whisper.

Y/N flinched, the pressure of his presence suddenly overwhelming. "No!" she snapped, the word exploding in the quiet room. Felix recoiled, startled by her outburst.

Taking a shuddering breath, Y/N tried to rein in her anger. "Look," she said, her voice tight, "I told you I needed space. Are you stupid? Do you not understand that?"

Felix looked down at his hands, his hopeful expression crumbling. "I just thought..." he mumbled.

"You thought wrong!" Y/N shot back, her voice rising again. She forced herself to take another deep breath. "Felix," she said, trying for a calmer tone, "all day long, everything has felt like it's closing in on me. Work was a nightmare, traffic was a nightmare, and now you..." She trailed off, frustration knotting her throat.

Felix finally looked up, his eyes filled with hurt confusion. "What did I do?"

Y/N threw her hands up in exasperation. "You smothered me! The food, the movie, sitting right here when I clearly need some space... and then I called you as soon as I got off work, and you didn’t even answer me, but when I get home, here you are, just scrolling on your goddamn phone! I got no call back, no text, nothing!" Her voice hitched, the anger threatening to boil over again. Tears begin to brim in Felix’s eyes at her words, but the rage Y/N felt blinded her from the fact she was hurting him. “Why the fuck are you crying?! Your day seems so have been fine! You’re fucking 23, not 7! Suck it up for goodness sake!”

Felix opened his mouth to speak, but Y/N cut him off. "No. Just... no. I need some time alone. To decompress. To breathe." She pointed towards the hallway. "Can you please just give me that? For once? Or do you really feel the need to be fucking clingy all the time?!”

Felix's shoulders slumped, defeat etched on his face. He mumbled an apology and retreated quickly down the hallway. As the silence settled, a cold dread crept in alongside the lingering anger. This wasn't how she wanted the night to go. She just wanted some space, some time to process her day, but now the air hung thick with unspoken words and hurt feelings. Slamming her hands on the couch in frustration, Y/N sank back, the weight of her own guilt beginning to consume her.

ahh!! this is my first time writing, lemme know if you liked it!! part two will be out soon🖤

[crimsonizedangel]

Whiskey Neat

Pairing: Jay Halstead x OC

Rating: nsfw

AN: I am open to requests if anyone wants to send me any.

"Hey Elle" I turned around and saw April coming up behind me. "Are you going to join Maggie and I for karaoke tonight at Molly's?" She asked me. I looked between the two nurses before going back to my charting.

"I might." I told them.

"Come on Dr. Rosa." Maggie chimed in. "We will buy you a drink cause I know after the week we've all had here that you probably need one as well."

"Ok I'll join you guys but I'm stopping home first." I knew they were right. We had a long week in the ER and all needed to decompress. When I glanced up I saw the shared look the two nurses shared. "I don't know what you two are thinking but I don't like that look."

April came up next to me and set down her charts before chiming in "we were just thinking that you probably wanted to go home to put some makeup on and perfume in case you saw a certain detective that happens to have a brother that also works here."

I felt the blush creep onto my face. "I didn't realize that you two knew about that."

"What that you blush every time Jay comes in and talk super fast like you're nervous around him." This time it was Maggie talking.

"I'm only a resident and he's my attendings brother I don't think anything can happen there." I replied to them.

"Mhmm. Eleanor we are going to be your wingwomen tonight because that boy likes you too and we are going to help you two kids get together." Maggie informed me.

There was maybe a half hour left of our shifts which we spent most of that time catching up on charting before shift change and giving report to the next shift. We changed out of our hospital issued scrubs and both women followed me back to my house where I found something better to wear. I had on a black hoodie and jeans that I quickly put on that morning when I rolled out of bed to start my shift and April pulled out a black lacey romper for me to put on. Maggie fixed my hair so it was no longer a very messy bun and instead styled my dark curly hair into a half up ponytail. April looked through my makeup bag and had me apply some mascara and red lipstick before spritzing some of my Dior perfume on me.

I rode with April and Maggie drove herself to the bar where karaoke had already started with Mouch singing some old 80s song that I wasn't paying much attention to. I instead followed the girls to the bar and ordered a drink.

"How are you ladies doing tonight?" Jay asked as he approached the bar with Will beside him.

"Good getting a much needed drink after this week. How about you?" I asked him.

"Same. I would offer to buy you a drink but I see you already have one." He noted the whiskey that Stella sat down in front of me.

"Well you can always buy the next one." I joked to him.

"Rosa great job today with that trauma patient." Will piped in.

"Thank you Dr. Halstead." I replied with a smile and noticed the little look that the two brothers shared and that April and Maggie had already left to a table.

"You want to go find a seat so we aren't blocking the bar?" I asked Jay who nodded. I saw Will get up to join us only for Jay to stop him and whisper something to his older brother who just nodded and went in the opposite direction of us. I raised a brow at him and he just smiled and shrugged it off.

I found a table in the corner and sat across from Jay. I'm not sure what all we talked about just that there was lots of laughter. Jay did eventually buy me another drink before rejoining me.

"Elle you look beautiful tonight has anyone told you that yet?" He complimented me and I felt my cheeks get hot.

"No but thank you. You don't look too bad yourself but you always look good especially in your police uniform." I rambled and didn't know how to stop but at least Jay did. He chuckled a bit at my rambling comments before leaning across the small table and kissing me. I was caught by surprise and felt myself raise a hand to his face as I started kissing him back. He pulled away and I just looked him in the eye before I smiled and asked him "what was that for?"

"You seemed nervous and wouldn't shut up so I thought I would help you." He replied "was that ok?"

"Jay that was more than alright. I've been wanting to kiss you for a long time now." I confessed with a grin before taking the last sip of my drink.

I saw Jay look around and notice Will, April, and Maggie just grinning at us from across the bar. "Do you want to get out of here? Maybe somewhere we won't have an audience watching us." He asked me.

"I would love to." I replied and he finished his own drink before grabbing my hand and walking me to his truck. Once he was in the drivers seat I cupped his face in my hands and pulled him in giving him a proper kiss. His own hand went to the back of my neck as his tongue fought mine for dominance. I let him win and felt his other hand move to cup my clothed breast. Eventually we pulled apart and he adjusted his erection before starting his truck.

"Let's get out of here before we're caught having sex in my truck outside the bar."

"Yeah that's probably a good idea." I replied sitting back in my own seat before he drove off to his apartment.

The second he parked his truck we both got out and I followed him to the door and waited for him to unlock it. He led me over to the elevator where as soon as the doors were closed he had me pinned against the wall and his lips were on mine. I broke the kiss to move my lips to his neck before we were interrupted by the elevator doors opening. Jay stepped away and grabbed my waist leading me down the hall to his apartment. When we stopped at the door I looked up at him and saw the reminder of the color lipstick I was wearing that was now all over his neck. I just smiled to myself as he opened the door and let me inside.

I stabilized myself with the wall to get my heels off only for Jay to give me a look.

"Let me help you with that." He told me as he came over and picked me up and set me on his counter before proceeding to take my shoes off. "Wasn't that easier?" He asked.

"Yeah it was. Thanks." I replied feeling the tension growing again as I looked into his green eyes. My hands grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to me before moving a hand up the back of his neck to collide my lips with his. I felt his hands move up my thighs to grab my ass. We continued making out as I started to undo the buttons on his shirt and ran my hands over his abs and chest before pushing his shirt off his shoulders and to the floor. His hands found the two ties holding the top of the romper up and with a gentle pull of a string behind my neck and across my back the top was free and revealed my braless chest. Jay kissed down my neck and took a nipple into his mouth sucking and playing with it.  I let out a small gasp that turned into a moan.

Jay pulled off of me and I wrapped my arms around his neck right before he picked me up and carried me down the hall to his bedroom. In one swift moment he dropped me onto his bed and pulled the rest of the romper off along with my panties. I looked up at him and saw his eyes become heavy and lust filled and as my eyes moved down his bare torso to the jeans he still had on it became very obvious how much he wanted this.

"Elle do you want me to continue? Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me.

"Jay I wouldn't have gone home with you if I didn't want this. Yes please continue. Please fuck me." I pleaded.

He smiled at me before he grabbed one of my thighs and started kissing up it until he got to my pussy that was already very slick with arousal. When his tongue made contact and he licked a strip up my folds to my clit I let out a gasp and when he inserted two fingers into me as he sucked on my clit it turned into a moan.

"Oh my god Jay." I moaned which spurred him on making him move his fingers faster and his tongue more. One of my hands moved down raking my fingers through his hair and holding his head in place as I started moving my hips against him. His other hand moved across my lower abdomen holding me still as I felt the coil build.

"Jay I'm close." I moaned " I'm going to come." He pulled his mouth off of me and replaced it with his thumb on my clit so he could watch my face as I screamed out squirting all over his fingers. He continued to finger me as I rode out my high.

As soon as it had passed I watched as he pulled his fingers out and put them in his mouth licking them clean. I sat up and started undoing his jeans and pushed them down over his hips along with his boxers and watched as his erection sprang free from its confines hitting his abdomen. I moved myself into a better position so I could lick the precum that was already leaking out from his tip. Jay let out a moan and after teasing him by licking small strips up and down his cock I finally took the plunge and took all of his cock into my mouth.

"Oh god yes." I heard him moan "Elle as much as I'm enjoying this I need you to stop before I come in your mouth." I pulled off of him but not before giving his tip one last lick.

"Get on your hands and knees." He instructed as he went over to a bedside table to grab a condom out of the drawer. I watched as he rolled it down his cock before I did as he instructed only for him to grab my hips and pull me closer to the edge of the bed. I didn't have to wait long before I felt him run the tip of his condom covered cock up and down my slick folds before inserting himself slowly into me.

We both let out moans as he got down to the hilt and my ass was against his abdomen. As soon as we were both adjusted I started moving myself on his cock only for him to stop me so he could pound into me making his balls hit against my clit. I moaned at the feeling and felt my arms give out causing me to moan into his mattress.

"Elle you feel amazing." He moaned out.

"Jay your cock is hitting all the right places." I moaned back. I felt his cock twitch inside me. Between that and his balls constantly hitting my clit I felt the coil build again. I couldn't even give a warning this time as I saw stars and screamed into the mattress as I squirted all over his cock and thighs. I felt his movements stutter right before he fell forward and moaned into my shoulder as he came inside me. I felt myself twitching around him milking him dry.

As I regained my composure I felt him kissing my shoulder and neck before he pulled out to dispose of the used condom. When he returned I was still laying there catching my breath.

"Here you can wear this if you want." He told me as I sat up so he could hand me one of his cpd shirts. I took it and slipped it on before crawling under the blankets. "It couldn't have been that good." He laughed as he slipped in next to me wearing some sweatpants.

"Well it was." I nodded before I gave him a kiss "I think you've successfully fucked me into tiredness and sleep."

He laughed as he pulled me down and shut the light off. "We're both off tomorrow so you can sleep as long as you want."

"Good although I'm not opposed to having another round before I have to go back home." I told him as I laid my head down on his chest.

"Round two can be at your place when I drop you off then." He chuckled "goodnight Ellie."

"Goodnight Jay." I replied. I tried not to think about all the comments that were going to come on Monday from Will, April, and Maggie.

[zarsghost]

For ur request..

Gaz stealing readers skincare products and gets caught

Thank you for the ask! Since this would be my first piece of writing, I do hope that you like it!

I had fun writing it and I tried to make it gender neutral as possible but let me know if you see anything!!

Thief

Gaz x Reader

Prompt: Gaz steals your skin care products

It was not uncommon to have your partner Gaz practically attached to your hip when he was home from deployment. He would be behind you as you cooked a meal for the both of you, wrapping his arms around your waist with his chin resting on your shoulder. Him slowly swaying the two of you in tandem as he decompressed from being away from home. Only surrounded by sweaty military men and women for weeks on end.

But when he was home, he was always in your line of sight.

Trying to clean up around the house would be a hassle as well. When you would go to pick up dirty clothes from around the hamper, more clothes kept seemingly appearing over and over until you noticed that your one and only had been throwing more clothes on the floor just to watch you bend over. His cheeky little smile making you giggle as you roll your eyes to continue the tedious task that is laundry. Soft footsteps following just behind you. He could never be far from you.

One of your favorite things to do at night when you were settling down was your skincare routine. The bathroom had a cabinet dedicated to just your amount of skincare products that you had. From creams to serums to masks to toners to moisturizers. You practically had half of the Sephora store in your shared bathroom.

Gaz watched with soft eyes with a soft smile to match as you explained yet again, each step that you were doing. Your fluffy headband keeping your hair out of your face.

“What’s that one that you’re putting on?”

“This is an oil-based cleanser.”

“What does it do?” he would ask, chin resting on his palm as he leaned on the bathroom counter.

“It cleanses my skin.”

He huffed, “No shit… But why oil based? Doesn’t it make your skin oily? I thought that’s the opposite of what you wanted?”

“My skin is sensitive and this helps get into my pores without being too harsh.”

A hum in understandment would fill the bathroom.

“And that one?”

“This is just a face mask. It says it hydrates my skin but I just like the way that it feels.” You giggle.

Gaz keeps periodically pointing at different products and asking how to use it until you have to shoo him out of the bathroom so you could finish. Once your routine was complete, you made your way back to your bedroom where Gaz had already taken his place in. His arms opening as soon as he heard you approaching.

“You smell good love.” He whispered as he placed a gentle kiss to your forehead. You kissed the underside of his jaw in return.

“Thanks hun.”

“I wish I could take this smell with me when I’m away.”

You chuckle quietly, “Well I’m not sure how you do that considering that I can’t come with you.”

“Ha, no you can’t love. But no worries, I’ll think of a way.”

Gaz kissed you softly before burying his nose into your hair as your head fell into the crook of his neck. You both quickly fell asleep in each other’s embrace that night only to be rudely awakened at the noise of Gaz’s phone going off. Groaning irritatedly, you rolled over to glance at the clock that read 4:15 AM. Groaning loudly, you pulled the blanket over your eyes as Gaz answered the call out in the hallway. A couple minutes later, he pushed the door open slowly. A solemn look twisting his handsome features.

“You have to go don’t you?”

Gaz nodded as he made his way back over to you.

“We got some new intel that needs to be addressed immediately. Price has called everyone in. I don’t know how long I’ll be.” He pulled you into his chest as he spoke. Your arms held onto him tightly until he pulled back just enough to see your face, a soft smile on his lips.

“But I’ll keep my promise and come back in one piece, yeah?”

You chuckled softly before leaning to capture his smile for yourself.

“You better Sergeant.”

Gaz ran around the apartment packing his duffle bag as he went. You waited by the front door with a blanket wrapped around you, waiting to see your soldier off. He eventually came up with his iconic blue ball cap on and signature smile.

“I’ll see you in a bit love.”

“I’ll be here hun.”

You kissed him goodbye, one that he’ll remember while he’s away before watching him leave. You didn’t close the door until you couldn’t hear his footsteps anymore. Glancing at the time on the clock behind you, the time read 5:30 AM. You were already up and there wasn’t any point in trying to go back to sleep now. Throwing the blanket over the back of the couch, you made your way to the bathroom to start your day. Turning on the faucet, you splashed some water on your face before reaching for your cleanser. Only your fingers attempted to grab onto nothing.

“Huh?”

Thinking that you missed, you looked next to you where you had left the bottle last night only to realize that it wasn’t there. You then quickly realized that there were many other things missing from your cabinet as well. Only one person had access to that cabinet other than you.

“That little….”

[skullcandy11111198]

Leveragetober23 Day 3: family

Soon after Breanna came to live with Nana, she got a visit from one of her new big brothers. Nana was all in a tizzy for a few days beforehand, when she first learned one of her children would be coming back home for a few days. Apparently Hardison was a legend around here. Nana was baking like crazy, and when Breanna built up the courage to ask why she was making so much food, she learned that her "big brother and his partners" would be coming to stay with them.

Now, Breanna was pretty open minded, her parents raised her well, but she will admit she did a slowblink when she was first told. No one else seemed to have any thoughts on that topic, no weird or judge-y faces from any of the other children in hearing range, so she shrugged and went with it.

When they finally arrived, she was only more intrigued. Hardison could best be described as a whirlwind. He moved fast and talked faster. His two friends, on the other hand, were the direct opposite. They both smiled when talking to others, and answered rather succinctly, but otherwise they didn't move very fast, and in the scheme of things, barely talked at all.

Breanna wasn't quite sure what to do with them. She had accepted her parents were gone, and her definition of family had to change rather quickly, but every time she met a new child of Nana's, it hit her again how much her life had changed over the last two-ish years. Therefore, she was back in her room, decompressing a bit after meeting Hardison and his "partners."

(After meeting them, she honestly couldn't tell if they were romantic-partners or business-partners. They talked about work, a lot. They were vague about it, but they obviously worked together. On the other hand, Parker was a very clingy person with both Hardison and Eliot. Inevitably she would be hanging off one of them, touching them in some way. Hardison and Eliot were known to share a knowing look with each other too, whenever Parker did something. Parker and Eliot always made sure an orange soda was in Hardison's reach, and Parker and Hardison would make googly eyes whenever Eliot even just talked about cooking.)

A knock on her door distracted her.

She opened her door to reveal a slightly nervous looking Parker, who kept checking over her shoulder while she asked if she could hide in Breanna's room for a little bit. Breanna was unsure about this new person, but eh, why not? When she said as much, Parker beamed and thanked her while sliding inside and sitting on the ground behind where the door would hinge open.

Okayyyy. Breanna hesitantly sat down criss cross apple sauce, facing her. "Not to, like, stop you or anything…but, why are we sitting on the ground, exactly?"

Parker looked at her with a sharp eye. "Well, I'm sitting on the ground. You just decided to do it because I did. Sophie says that has to do with psychology, but I don't remember which theory right now."

"Hey! It feels perfectly reasonable right now to go to ground when the only adult in here right now is doing the same!" Breanna pouted, but all she got back was a small smile from Parker. "And hey, don't distract me! Why are we on the ground?"

Parker laughed, then suddenly went quiet. Breanna started to open her mouth to ask her what was happening when Parker suddenly whipped her hand up to stop her from speaking. A few moments later Breanna heard footsteps walking down the hall, pausing at the end, then turning around and walking back to the main part of the house.

Once she was sure whoever it was was gone, she lowered her hand. Breanna was even more curious now, and slightly worried. She knew Nana, and she knew how she raised her children, but either way there was another woman in her room, an adult, who seemed to be hiding from the other adults. Breanna needed to know what was going on.

Parker must have been able to read her face because when she turned her head back towards the younger girl, she immediately started to explain.

"Okay, so to be honest, I've gotten wayyy better with people. Like, way better. I haven't stabbed anyone with a fork in two months, Hardison and Sophie are really proud of me. But there are still a lot of people out there, and they were starting to get loud, and I don't like loud. Loud means notice and I don't like to be noticed, so I went to the place I was sure no one would check because I know Hardison, which means I know Nana, which means I know they will give you privacy because new people are around, which means people are way less likely to come looking for me in here, and when Nana introduced you, you were really quiet, so you are not likely to be as loud as it is out there. So, safe space."

Breanna's head was reeling from trying to keep track of…all of that but yeah, it made sense, in a weird way. She was the newest kid, and one of the previous kids was coming home to visit for the first time since she arrived, plus they were bringing other people too, so Nana was likely to quietly tell everyone to give her some space.

Breanna nodded definitively. "Okay, that makes sense. But…floor?"

Parker nodded, very serious, "First lesson: even when you're hidden, don't assume you're safe, always hide somewhere in a hidden place. Then you're way less likely to be caught" She paused, eyeing Breanna's head speculatively. "You have really curly hair. That's good. You can hide a lot of things in there, lots of pins, maybe even a key or two." Another pause, Breanna felt like her soul was being weighed. "Do you want to learn how to pick a lock in less than 5 seconds?"

Oh, they were going to be friend-friends. "Okay!"

[fanfoolishness]

Headcanons for Crosshair's healing, post-finale

I'm definitely hoping to write fics incorporating most or all of these, but if I wind up stalling out on them, at least they'll be preserved here! I'm also linking to some fics or art where I've addressed some of these points, if you're curious. :)

In the immediate post-Tantiss aftermath, Crosshair is a foggy mess, between the shock and pain of his injury and the pain medication AZI has him on. He has some heart-to-hearts with his family here, but the vulnerability he shows during this time dries up once he's more clear-headed. Still, he realizes more and more that his family wants to help him, and will.

Once some of the major healing of his stump has occurred, he throws himself into helping his family build and furnish their new home (it's Star Wars and there's prefabs, so it doesn't really take too long, but it's a good distraction for a bit), as well as helping with simple things around the island like deliveries of things he can carry easily without a hand. He stays close to Omega when he can, feeling anxious when she's out of sight, something his brothers share.

The more routine and settled the days get, the worse his nights start to become. Nightmares of his time with the Empire, his imprisonment and torture on Tantiss, the terror and pain of losing his hand, and worst of all, Tech, start disrupting his sleep. He tries to pretend it's nothing, but his family isn't fooled. Decompressing from the absolute adrenaline rush of being focused on rescuing Omega leaves too much space for bad memories to start bubbling up, as well as unresolved grief.

Omega, realizing he's struggling -- and starting to struggle herself for many of the same reasons, which I could write a whole other post on! -- tries to get him to meditate with her again, but he brushes her off. No hand? No tremor? Problem solved, right?

AZI offers to work on a prosthetic for him, but he declines. Not because he's content with his arm as it is right now, but because he's afraid a prosthetic will shake, too, and because he still struggles with feeling like he doesn't deserve help.

He shifts into a depressive state with isolating himself from his family, eating poorly, and sleeping terribly. He spends a lot of time walking around with Batcher, and starts to notice some of the birds around the island. He still has moments of happiness, like when spending time with Omega, playing fetch with the hound, seeing his brothers doing well, or noticing the beauty of Pabu, but the instant the happy thing is over, the black cloud returns.

He resists any talk about Tech, even as his nightmares grow more and more to include his brother.

Until it's made clear that Omega is having a hard time, too, and modeling some of the same behaviors he is -- pulling away, clamming up, nightmares. It's when he sees her struggling that he realizes he still might not care about healing for himself... but if it could help her in some way, maybe he needs to try.

I haven't quite figured out the inciting factor for this next part, but something Happens, and Crosshair finally breaks down about Tech. I am envisioning something truly messy and painful. But when his family finds him and convinces him to talk, he finally starts letting it out. His guilt, his self-hatred in that Tech would still be alive if they hadn't tried to rescue him, that his message had had the opposite effect, that he didn't take the chance to come with them on Kamino or to go with Cody. He's worried Tech would be angry at him, would hate him for who he'd been in the Empire, for being the reason Tech died, and he's been carrying all of this for months.

His family is able to reassure him that Tech never stopped caring about him, that Tech would be the first to realize Crosshair had changed. And there'd be some very sweet moments where they remember him together, as a family. ;_;

The nightmares start to get better, and Crosshair asks Omega to start meditating with him again. It's not perfect, there are still hard days, but he starts being more social again, keeps up with the meditating, is better able to be there for Omega when she's having a hard time too.

With the guilt of losing Tech starting to heal, he can start trying to heal the rest of him, too. He works with AZI and Echo to try a prosthetic.

As he feared, it does shake, too, now and then. At first it panics him and he takes the hand off and doesn't try it again for days. But the others encourage him to try again, and as he keeps up with the meditation, the tremors get fewer. They still happen sometimes, but they are less distressing; if it really bothers him, he takes off his hand. He winds up wearing his prosthetic maybe 50% of the time, sometimes taking it off to relax and not worry about the tremors, sometimes taking it off just because he doesn't feel like using a second hand, sometimes just because it will always feel a little strange and he just prefers being without it sometimes.

Within a few months of using the prosthetic, he finds his old mirror pucks and builds a suncatcher out of them, taking an object of war and making it into something warm and artistic. Every time he looks at it, he remembers how far he's come, how he's becoming less and less defined by being a sniper, a soldier, every day.

Eventually, he and Echo do get word from Cody. Seeing him again is frightening -- remembering how badly he'd failed Cody when he had the chance, wondering if Cody will only see him as he was then -- but he's eager to show Cody how much he's changed. Cody for his part is still feeling guilt over the Order and his work for the Empire, and both of them are able to reassure each other and remind each other there is a path forward.

Within 2-3 years, Crosshair is doing far better. He still misses Tech terribly, but guilt and shame and repressed grief have changed into smiling when he talks about Tech, or quiet moments with rare tears when things are harder. He visits Tech's goggles sometimes, whether on his own or with one of his siblings. The messy breakdown and the knotty repression phases have largely ended. Nightmares are uncommon now, and usually soothed with meditation or talking to his brothers or Omega or Batcher. Like others have suggested he has probably taken up fishing as so many on the island do, but in his spare time he has started to appreciate the birds of Pabu, especially when he remembers how much Tech loved recording sounds. He finds recordings of several species on Tech's datapad and uses it to keep track of the birds he sees, feeling a little closer to his brother when he does so. His enthusiasm for the creatures rubs off on the rest of their family, too. He meditates daily; sometimes with Omega, but often on his own. Wrecker hates it and has fallen asleep the rare times he's tried it, but Hunter, to Crosshair's surprise, joins him occasionally. Batcher loves it and views it as part of her daily nap routine.

On trips home from the Rebellion, when Omega is frustrated or heartsick about losses or the odds they are facing, she knows she can always nudge her white-haired brother and say, "Want to meditate a bit?" And he'll say yes, every time. <3

Any thoughts? I do hope I get a chance to write all this out in fic form, but it was nice getting it down for my own edification :)