#like... i knew he would find something to criticize from the very beginning | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fanmistery · 5 months ago

Text

HEADCANONS ARCANE X GN READER!TINNITUS.

៚HEADCANONS of how you would meet and move into a relationship with Vi and Viktor. The reader is gender-neutral.

TINNITUS: A whistling or ringing sound in one or both ears that may be constant or come and go, often associated with hearing loss.

Characters included: Viktor and Vi/Violet. Part Two Jinx and Caitlyn here.

Part one!

Note: Hello everyone! I just wanted to write something about these characters, this idea was in my head all day. It should be clarified that I do not intend to offend anyone with this, I myself have Tinnitus so everything I put here is based on my experience. Just that, enjoy reading!

៚VIKTOR.

៚ Viktor in his youth, more specifically when he was studying and before he became Heimerdinger's assistant. He is completely absorbed in his investigations at Piltover. His world revolves around science and his efforts to overcome the physical limitations that have always accompanied him and, above all, to surpass others and be the best student. So it will take a long time for him to realize your existence.

៚He will only realize your existence when he hears you asking the colleague next to you that he could offer you his seat since you did not want to sit at the back, which led to a heated argument due to your insistence, even he got upset (more than nothing because he couldn't concentrate on reviewing the topics from the previous class), there were other benches available, I didn't understand why you were making a fuss for wanting to sit in front. You ended up sitting all the way back anyway, and you just became the talk of spoiled brats, and, normally he wouldn't care but he got to hear through the rumors that you were someone from Zaun. Which surprised him quite a bit, since as far as he knew, the only one from Zaun was him.

៚ And for a while he was not the center of criticism and ridicule, but you were. Most of the class complained because you were always asking obvious questions to them or to the teacher, even asking them to pass you the notes of what a teacher was dictating. It got to a point where you could no longer ask for guidance from them and you ended up asking him for help. Of course he helped you but not before he asked you directly “what the hell was wrong with you?”.

៚When he finds out about your situation, that you have tinnitus, his reaction is very Viktor: scientific but empathetic. "Is it a subjective perception of sound, without external stimulus? Fascinating." Although he may seem cold, he has no intention of minimizing your experience; rather, he is genuinely interested.

៚For Viktor, attraction begins in the mind. If you prove to be an insightful, curious person who is able to understand (or at least try to understand) his way of reasoning. One night, while you're both working on a particularly complicated project, Viktor might blurt out something unexpected without looking you straight in the eye. "I never thought I would find someone who would understand so well the... persistent nature of my mind so well. It's exhausting, but you don't seem to freak out."

You pause what you were doing and turn your back on him to go get a cup of coffee to take your mind off your sleep, while doing so you say nonchalantly : "And why should I? We all deal with something."

Although Viktor doesn't respond, his slight smile and the way his eyes soften say it all.

៚The relationship begins to deepen when Viktor talks openly about his own physical limitations (his cane, his deteriorating health) and how these have made him feel isolated at times. This creates common ground: they both feel that their relationship with the world is limited by their physical conditions. Viktor comments something like, “It's funny how our minds can be so clear, but our bodies constantly remind us how fragile we are.”

៚So Viktor begins to see you as someone who not only understands his struggle, but also that you face your own daily battle. This inspires you to be more considerate and open with your emotions, although your reserved nature moves you forward slowly.

៚At some point in their lives you end up working in their lab, in fact, you have an exclusive little space just for you.... So you are always together day and night, you doing your thing and he doing his.

៚Viktor's small gestures begin to show his concern in subtle ways, such as adjusting the volume of his experiments when you are nearby or avoiding shrill sounds. Little by little, this shows that he is not only a brilliant man, but also attentive to details that might affect you.

៚In his conversations, Viktor tends to speak in a higher, more leisurely tone. The idea of creating a device to help you hear is born after seeing you frustrated when you don't understand what he is saying when they are a few meters apart, so Viktor spends entire nights studying tinnitus, from its physiological origin to the experimental solutions available.

Jayce might walk into the lab and find Viktor surrounded by diagrams and medical texts.

Jayce, curious, asks, "Are you working on anything related to acoustics? It's not typical for you."

"It's a personal project. It's not for me." Viktor replies without even bothering to look at him

Although Jayce insists on knowing more, Viktor prefers not to reveal too much. “It's not relevant to our joint goals.”

He uses Hextech to explore how frequencies can interact with the auditory system, and although he encounters obstacles, he is more determined than ever.

When you're about to be introduced to the device, he doesn't hesitate to speak up: "I've been thinking...about your hearing."

“Uh, what about it? ”you ask, a little surprised that he has initiated so randomly about your condition.

Viktor averts his gaze, to avoid embarrassing himself, about his feelings to you. "It shouldn't be something that limits your experiences. I think I can do something about it."

Although you might at first feel unsure-perhaps even doubtful that anything can really help-Viktor assures you with a mixture of humility and confidence, "I don't promise miracles, but it would be interesting to see if I can...level the field for you."

៚Viktor spent weeks fine-tuning his prototype: a small device with Hextech technology that not only amplifies sound, but filters out the harmful frequencies associated with tinnitus. When it's finally ready, he hands it to you with his trademark serious but intent tone. "It's a prototype. It may need tweaking, but I'd like you to try it out."

You put it on, and after a few seconds of adjustment, you experience something you didn't expect: the sound of the world, clear and crisp. Perhaps the light brush of Viktor's fingers on the table, or the conversations of students in the hallways. You can't help but let a sense of relief and full of happiness flood through you, you allow yourself the luxury of crying, of breaking Viktor's personal space and hugging him a little tightly, feeling so lucky to have him by your side. "Viktor...I.. I...I can hear... I can hear things I haven't heard in years."

Viktor is surprised by the sudden physical contact but it doesn't bother him, he even loves your sudden outburst of trust, even though you've been friends for a long time you're not hugging, just occasional touches here and there. He smiles sideways, satisfied with the result and reciprocating your embrace without hesitation, he just hopes you don't notice his heart beating fast for you and your warm closeness. "It's just the first step. If something doesn't work, we'll make it better. But I'm glad it's working."

He says, and if the hug lasted a long time neither of them minded.

៚But it doesn't stop there, Viktor customizes the device after you've been using it for a while. He adds a feature that can amplify specific sounds, such as the pitch of his own voice, so you can hear him even in noisy environments.

When you notice this, you ask him, "Did you do this just so I could hear you better?"

Viktor looking at you warmly, at this point no longer caring about hiding his affections from you. "Maybe. I'd rather you didn't miss anything important...especially when I'm the one talking."

៚Instead of using flowery words, Viktor explains his feelings in a very logical way.

"You are like a perfectly calibrated system. You find a way to fit even in my messiest moments...and that's not something I can easily explain. But I think the reason I want you around is more personal than scientific. "

You, so touched by her sincerity, smile and respond, "You know? That's probably the most romantic statement anyone has ever made to me."

៚Viktor's formal statement. Although Viktor has already made his intentions clear, you want to make sure everything is perfectly understood. A few days after the conversation, while they are in the lab, he interrupts the silence with an unexpected proposal. "I've been thinking about our conversation... and I'd like to ask you something. Would you consider staying by my side, not just as a colleague, but as something more?"

You, already so used to his direct but genuine manner, agree with a gentle nod, and Viktor responds with a slight smile that lights up his normally stoic expression.

៚For Viktor, expressing love is not something he does lightly. Probably, the first “I love you” happens accidentally.

While working on an experiment, you make a small mistake, but Viktor intervenes before the damage is irreparable. You are frustrated, the fatigue seems to get to you. You know it, but you can't help but feel guilty. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to ruin it...”

Viktor without thinking admits, "It doesn't matter. You wouldn't ruin anything... I love you too much to worry about that."

They both fall silent.

Viktor realizes what he just said, but instead of taking it back, he calmly adds, “I guess it's about time I said it.”

៚VI/VIOLET.

៚ Vi will meet you in her Emo days, This meeting takes place at a complicated time for Vi. It's been weeks since she broke up with Caitlyn. Although she is no longer hurt by the breakup, she carries enormous pent-up frustration. The situation with Jinx (Powder) is out of control, Zaun is still in chaos, and Vi feels like she's fighting a never-ending battle. This mix of anger, emotional exhaustion and discontent with the world makes her more impulsive and sarcastic than usual. It is very late in Zaun, the atmosphere is full of noise: shouting, laughter and the constant hum of industrial machinery. Vi is in her usual place, a subway bar called “The Rusty Forge”, known for its underground fights and noisy clientele. She is drinking something cheap, with her fists clenched and her gaze lost in her glass, trying not to think about everything that torments her.

Suddenly, a small commotion develops in a corner of the bar. Someone is trying to talk to you which you don't seem to respond to. Vi, from her seat, watches curiously as the other person begins to lose patience.

The stranger seems very, very impatient with you, "Hey, I'm talking to you, I told you it's ten coins, not five! Are you listening or what? " The stranger's arrogant tone and attitude makes Vi raise an eyebrow. While you look a little uncomfortable but try to stay calm and try to explain.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you right. Could you... repeat that?" The stranger snorts, visibly annoyed, and raises his voice in an exaggerated manner. "What's in your ears, you Zaun filth! Do you or don't you want this! I don't have all day."

That's enough for Vi to intervene. She rises from her seat in her typical defiant manner, dropping a few coins on the table and walking towards them with a smirk. "Hey, genius, why don't you try talking like a person instead of a jerk? Maybe then they'll understand you."

The stranger turns to Vi, clearly irritated. "What's it to you? This has nothing to do with you."

Vi crosses her arms, leaning slightly toward the stranger. "Oh, I care because I can't enjoy my drink if there's some idiot screaming like he's missing something in his head. So why don't you beat it before we have to settle this...my way?"

The stranger grunts something unintelligible, but decides to retreat under Vi's intense gaze. Once he leaves, Vi turns to you , her tone relaxing a bit. "Are you okay? That guy looked like a complete idiot."

Although you feel the embarrassment in you, you don't hesitate to thank her and say, "Yes, thank you. Everything is fine now. It's not easy to understand people with so much noise."

៚Vi tilts her head, interested. Noticing that you seem sincere but a bit tired. She decides to stay a moment longer, it wouldn't hurt to meet new people. It's worth noting that she notices something is different about you, but doesn't mention it right away. Instead of asking questions, she prefers to let time reveal it. To her, differences are not something strange in Zaun; everyone has their quirks.

៚ So, of course Vi decides to stay a while longer to make sure they don't bother you again. In the meantime, the two of you start talking. She says, noticing how your head leans closer to listen to her, "So, what are you doing down here? This doesn't seem like the kind of place for someone..... I don't know, like you."

You chuckle softly. "What kind of place is it, just for guys with tattoos and people who yell a lot? "

Vi gives you a small smile and continues, "Kind of. And you don't yell a lot, do you? "

you reply shaking your head but amused. "No, but it sounds like you do. It's not a bad thing though. Thanks to you, I heard you running at that guy."

Vi laughs, surprised by your response. This piques her interest even more, as she didn't expect to find someone so... quiet with a sense of humor amidst the chaos of Zaun. But before you take your leave, Vi notices that you seem a little unsure of yourself in the bustling environment of the bar. On impulse, she pulls out a pair of gloves she had hanging from her belt, worn but functional, and tosses them on the table in front of you.

"Take it as advice: if someone else bothers you, give them a good whack. If you need someone to show you how to do it .... well, you know where to find me."

You're surprised but take the gloves with a grateful smile. "Thanks, but I don't think I can hit as hard as you."

Vi laughs "No one can. But you don't need to be me to defend yourself. Although, if you want to learn, give me a couple of days. I'm bored of training alone."

៚After that night, Vi decides to look for more reasons to return to “The Rusty Forge.” Not for the fights, not for the cheap booze, but for the chance to cross paths again with someone who unknowingly gave her some peace in the midst of the chaos.

៚Vi, despite being extroverted, has an empathetic side that leads her to take an interest in others. At first, she communicates with you casually, although she quickly realizes that she has to adjust her tone or repeat things so that you can understand her better. Far from becoming impatient, this awakens her protective and patient side. "Didn't you hear me? Hey, it's okay, I'll say it again. 'You, what are you doing around here at this hour? Zaun is no place to walk alone, you know.' "

Seeing that you're somewhat embarrassed by your hearing difficulty, Vi adds with a teasing but friendly smile, "Don't worry. I didn't hear when Claggor was talking to me while I was eating either . Maybe you just have high standards of attention."

This breaks the ice and makes you feel comfortable next to her.

៚Vi's first gesture, is more of actions, not words. So, Vi is not the type to try to "fix" people or ask invasive questions. Instead, she shows her interest by helping without asking. For example, if she notices that you don't hear someone shout your name, she becomes your personal interpreter, shouting back or reaching out to relay the message.

Vi says, "Look, the next time someone tries to talk to you from across Zaun, tell me. My voice can cover this whole damn town.". This starts to become a recurring joke between the two of them.

៚Vi is someone who thinks fast and acts even faster, which can sometimes be a challenge for you what sometimes you need clarity in instructions. However, this leads to the two of you developing a sort of "language of your own". Vi might come up with simple gestures for things like "watch out", "follow me", or even "knock first, ask me later". Says Vi "See this? Two fingers in the air means we have to get the hell out of here fast. Three means 'hit 'em with everything.' Easy, right?" This makes them an effective team in Zaun's dangerous situations.

៚Vi is quick to note that, although you are hard of hearing, you also have skills that impress her. Perhaps it's the way you pay attention to small details, your ability to stay calm under pressure, your critical thinking even. "You know, not many people make it down here, let alone with everything stacked against them. But you... you're something special. Either that, or you're as stubborn as I am."

៚Vi has a protective nature, and when she sees someone treating you impatiently because of your hearing difficulty, she can't help but intervene. "What part of 'speak louder' didn't you understand? Do you want me to write it down for you? No, wait, you'd better get it tattooed on your forehead." Although you could try to calm her down, Vi isn't the type to let these things go easily.

៚Vi is fiercely loyal, and that translates into total devotion to you . No matter what happens, she's willing to stand up to anyone to protect you. "If anyone dares to mess with you, you let me know. Or better yet, don't even bother; I'll already be there before they can try."

៚Vi is not someone who plans things carefully. Everything in his life happens impulsively and passionately, and asking you to be his partner would be no exception. While she may try to disguise her nerves with humor or sarcasm, her intentions are clear: she wants to take the next step because she knows how much you mean to her.

The night is less chaotic than usual. You and Vi are in one of her favorite places in Zaun: perhaps a rooftop where you can watch the twinkling lights of the city, or a quiet corner near an abandoned factory where the noise isn't so overwhelming. It's one of those rare moments when Vi lets her guard down, and you can see her as she is, without masks or barriers. Vi has been thinking about this for days. Though she's never been good with words, she knows she can't stay quiet much longer. She runs a hand through her hair, clearly nervous, as she tries to find the right way to say what she feels.

Vi breaks the silence in a manner typical of her: with a seemingly casual comment, "You know, I've been thinking...and that's dangerous, I know. But listen, because this is important."

Curiosity overcomes you and you turn to her with a smile. Vi takes a deep breath and decides to cut to the chase. "You're the only person in this damn place that makes me want to be better. And I'm not saying I want to change who I am, because, well, I'm perfect just the way I am..." He pauses for a moment, clearly joking to ease the tension. "But with you... I don't know, everything's different. Less complicated. And I think I like that too much to ignore." Vi starts to lose a little control of her usual confidence. She knows what she wants to say, but the words don't come out the way she planned in her head. "What I mean is.... well, you know. I like you. No, that's an understatement. I like you a lot. Like, a lot-a lot. And I wanted to know if... uh..."

As for you, you wait patiently, clearly enjoying watching Vi get flustered for once. Vi, frustrated with herself, folds her arms and lets out a nervous laugh. "For the love of Zaun, are you going to make me say all this by myself or what? What I want is for you to be my partner, okay? There it is. I said it. Happy? "

៚and of course you reply positively, Vi lets out a sigh of relief, and her expression immediately softens. She regains some of her usual confidence, though you can still tell how much this moment means to her. "I knew you'd say yes. Who could resist this?" she smiles with that mixture of arrogance and warmth that characterizes her. Then she leans toward you, looking at you directively.

"You know? This means we're going to be the toughest team in Zaun now. I can't wait to brag about you. Sure, don't tell anyone, but you're probably the best decision I've made in years."

៚So after that, she won't hesitate to throw herself at you, thirsty for physical contact. She won't be shy, if she wants to kiss you or touch you. She will.

៚Vi is not the type to express her love with sweet words all the time, but she has very clear ways to show you how much she cares about you, like casual touches: she always finds an excuse to touch you in a casual way, whether it's putting a hand on your shoulder or placing her arm behind your waist, or she just places her hands on your waist.

"I don't know if you know this, but I like to keep you close. So don't move too far away."

៚Vi uses humor as a way to keep the relationship light and fun.

" You know what? If one day you want to ignore me, just pretend you didn't hear me. But I warn you: I'm stubborn. I won't shut up so easily."

៚If you forget something she said because you didn't hear it, Vi always turns it into a joke to diffuse the situation. "Don't worry. Most of the things I say don't make sense anyway. But this time, listen to me carefully: I love you."

#arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane x y/n #arcane x gender neutral reader #arcane x female reader #arcane x male reader #viktor arcane #viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #vi arcane #vi x reader #vi x you #vi x y/n

129 notes · View notes

cute-little-fly · 1 month ago

Text

Now that some people have been discussing some stuff about HB again… I think I understand another reason why the criticism people make about the hellaverse and Viv as a creator bothers me in a different way than the criticism made for another shows, that I didn’t mentioned in a post I made a while ago…

One day I watched a criticism video about the last episode of the indie series “Murder Drones” (if you haven’t watched it go for it, it’s fun!) and the way the critic framed the criticism was very different.

For example, people in the hellaverse critical community will often say things like: “Viv doesn’t make her female characters compelling or developed enough, and that means she is probably mysoginistic or has a yaoi preference or a fetish”.

Contrary to that, this critic said this about about a character of Liam Vickens: “Uzi relationship with her father it’s rushed off, and Uzi’s father doesn’t do anything at the end and never redeems of what he did to her at the start. He is kinda ignored in the final battle and that was lame.” Which is a normal criticism imo.

However, imagine that he would have said: “probably Liam Vickens has daddy issues, and he projected those issues into Uzi’s father, therefore this is probably why he was framed as dumb and coward from the beginning to the end.”.

Like… do you see the difference here??? I really hope you see the difference, because in that way you would be close to understand why we struggle with the criticism.

It makes me a little but uncomfortable that sometimes people project things like that onto Viv when they don’t agree with her work. Like, I get that this could be because of how she sometimes calls out antis, and defends some of her characters like Stolas but like… you are looking worse in my eyes by doing these comments.

The critical community has normalized this at an extent that I find weird… no matter how flawed and wrong Viv can be seen sometimes, and how she openly talks about things like this. Like sex and fetishes… Is weird the way people project a lot as if they knew her irl.

What I am saying is that it’s different saying this: “I really question why Viv is so resistant to give her female characters in helluva boss development or spotlight, I think it’s a flaw of her work”. I would be completely fine with this criticism. Even agree at some extent (though I personally think the female leads are fine and just need more development and screentime)

That she puts more attention to male leads can have a lot of other reasons. Some female authors have admitted struggling to write women, and this might be because of our complicated feelings of being a woman in a patriarchal society. But�� god forbid give the woman a benefit of the doubt in something.

This is what we mean when we talk about bad faith criticisms or comments… People act as if Viv purpose was to make a bad show, and not to care about it. Or like she is so incompetent that she shouldn’t even try… and I find that discouraging, because if even with its failures these shows have gotten so loved and popular by a portion of the fans… this means they are kinda covering a niche that wasn’t being filled.

Maybe the reason why people like HB it’s because Blitzø it’s not the typical protagonist asshole some people wish he was. Maybe because Stolas it’s not the typical love interest. Maybe because it reuses a lot of tropes but in an unexpected and weird way.

Like, if Blitzø was another shitty father like Dr Venture, I wouldn’t be as invested in this series. This combination of silly humour and drama it’s great. It could be done better but it’s great for some of us and is also not nice when you talk about us as if you understood our appreciation.

For me at least, It’s completely fine that people make blogs about their frustration of some not being how they expected originally if they didn’t do this stuff. I just wished that the criticism sometimes wouldn’t get as personal for her and for the fans of this show.

Sometimes we make analysis of certain scenes and moments, how that we claim to understand some of the characters deeply because we really feel we can understand them! But, we are being told that we are able to enjoy it because we project headcanons and fill the gaps of bad writing.

While this happens sometimes, like how we fill the gaps of how the non-shown Full Moons go that are basically all, it’s not only because of that that we like it. We also appreciate a lot of things directly shown in the series and we talk directly about them scene by scene and frame by frame.

At the end… this post is like a reflection or opinion about why I think talking about the shows in this particular way it’s something that creates a bad climate for it, and that the reason why there is so much friction in the community it’s the way the criticism is phrased for us (the fans) and the creators.

#vivziepop helluva boss #fandom critical #helluva boss #stolitz #murder drones #personal #personal rant #fandom criticism #vivienne medrano

73 notes · View notes

ts1m1kas · 11 months ago

Text

Original Ask: Could you do Jenson Button with wife reader? He was interviewing for Sky Sports with Danica Patrick. He was fed up with her and he always made that face whenever he was around her which was amusing to his wife. She was having a field day when one day she was at his interview. Just something fluff and cute. You decide how it goes. Tag me later!! Thanks!! :)) ( @pear-1206 )

Word Count: 645 words

(author's note: i hope you enjoy love !! i enjoyed writing this quite alot 🫶 )

If there was one thing Jenson hated about working with Sky Sports, it was Danica Patrick. He couldn't stand to listen to her outlandish and disrespectful takes on races and drivers, especially her opinions about Logan Sargeant.

During his time in the Williams garage, Jenson became very close to Logan, and the pair developed a father-and-son relationship over the years. This only furthered when Jenson’s wife, Y/N, met Logan. She absolutely adored him and quickly became his biggest supporter alongside her husband.

So, when Y/N was invited to participate in a post-race discussion with Jenson, Danica and some other regular Sky Sports figures, she jumped at the opportunity. Jenson however, was not as keen as his dear wife.

The group stood in the paddock, each one of them holding a microphone. Y/N was smiling from ear to ear, so excited for the opportunity. Her husband watched her intently, realising that he took his job for granted far too often. However, once the interview began it wasn’t long before Jenson remembered why he disliked Danica so much.

“I just don’t think that Sargeant has the skill required to drive at this level. He can’t keep up with the car or the fast pace of the races which is reflected in his poor results. In my opinion, Williams should start looking for a new driver.” Danica said critically.

Some of the other interviewers nodded, but before she could begin talking again, Jenson cut in, “I disagree fully. Logan is a talented driver and we’ve seen just how well he can perform under pressure. I simply believe that this is just a slight rough patch in his career and that it won’t be long until he’s back on track and in the points.”

“I agree with Jenson,” Y/N stated while smiling at her husband, “I’ve spent a lot of time speaking with Logan and he puts far too much pressure on himself. He isn’t happy with how he’s driving at the moment but I don’t think the amount of criticism he receives isn't fair at all.”

Admiration and pride shone in Jenson’s eyes as he listened to his wife talk. He knew Logan would feel the same way too, but more appreciative that she had defended him.

Danica pretty much accepted their statements and moved on to discussing the race and giving even more unwarranted criticisms. Towards the end of the interview, Jenson was finding it harder and harder to suppress his eye rolls and sighs at Danica’s words.

Y/N on the other hand, was finding her husband’s behaviour hysterical. She knew very well that Jenson did not like Danica but watching his reactions made her struggle not to laugh.

Eventually, the interview ended and Jenson and Y/N walked off towards the Williams garage.

“You’re hilarious you know that right?” Y/N said to Jenson as they strolled along hand in hand.

“What do you mean my darling?”

“The way you react to Danica is unbelievable. I could barely stop myself from laughing when you rolled your eyes at her.”

Jenson snorted with laughter, “Sometimes what she comes out with is so ridiculous that I can’t help myself. Especially when it’s about Logan. I nearly kissed you on the spot when you started defending him.”

“Jenson!” Y/N said slapping his arm “You would’ve gotten us into so much trouble! But I’ll always defend Logan, he’s so talented! I don’t see why anyone would question his ability to drive.”

“God I love you,” Jenson said looking down at his wife.

“I’d hope so Jense,” Y/N replied.

The pair continued their walk to the Williams garage, still laughing every so often at Jenson’s previous antics. Other people might see him as rude, but Y/N wouldn’t have her husband any other way.

#f1 #f1 drivers #fanfiction #fanfic #request #jenson button x reader #jenson button #jenson button blurb #jenson button imagine #by ts1m1kas

248 notes · View notes

graves-simper · 2 years ago

Text

What really happened in Room 302?

Yes, just like everyone else I am finally doing a small essay/analysis on TCOAAL.

This time I wanted to dive in something that wasn't a big part of the game, but has been on my mind since my first play through of the game and that is like the title states; What really happened in Room 302? Lets begin.

I wanted to start off by talking about the Lady in Room 302. Who is she?

We really don't know much. Her eye color isn't shown, she looks somewhat average but in terms of others opinions (ie; the Warden's and even Ashley) She is a very pretty woman. Even at a point Andrew says that she looks good. Take a look at some of the dialog below:

I mean, wasn't she?

After this very tasteful conversation these two love-birds have, Ashley heads up to commence the ritual to sacrifice the 2nd Warden, and of course Our Ashley pulls it off with no problems, and back downstairs she goes with full intentions of painting the wall with Lady 302's brains, but it appears someone beat her to the punch.

AND NOW I PRESENT WHERE I IMMEDIATELY BEGAN TO CALL CAP ON MR. DOORMAT EXTRAORDINAIRE AND HIS SILLY LITTLE LIES.

Your honor, this man is absolutely lying. The first thing that made me question everything about his story here is where she is lying dead. On the damn bed. Your honor, let's enhance this real quick.

That nail gun is a damn good several feet away from where Lady 302 lies dead on the bed. In fact it is in exactly the same position as when we left Andrew alone with her, and look at the sheer distance. These apartments clearly aren't huge but let me just be critical for a minute. Her mattress appears to be a single style mattress, so lets take in some measurements.

I can settle on the length being 75" or 6.25ft. So the apartment is about 12 feet wide. Not huge by any means, but to go from sitting down on a bed, even the edge, she would have to make quite the lunge while accounting for some random maniac being right next to you with a meat cleaver. I also do not think she would be the type to risk her life for a daring escape. Look at how absolutely bewildered she is the second Andrew rushes her.

That is NOT the face of someone who is absolutely down to fuck around and find out. She also had a chance to get help while also risking her life, when she is given the radio she could have screamed for help, and while yes she would've died, at this point I would say the risk factor was relatively similar.

Now that I have established my reasoning for why I don't think this lady tried to kill Andrew with a nailgun or even had the chance to, let's go over some of the reasons I think he DID choose to kill her.

No Witnesses.

This is a very boring theory but I have to bring it up no less. I think there is a good chance he just said fuck it, and killed her for the sake of not leaving evidence behind. She saw their faces, heard their names, and they even said they were her neighbor from upstairs. Leaving her behind could've ruined EVERYTHING for them after this point, and based on Ashley's sour reaction to her mere existence, I think he already knew damn well Ashley would want her dead too.

Make my Ashley happy.

This ties back to the point I made in No Witnesses. Ashley took her as a threat, and obviously Andrew noticed. She was not pleased after he called her "Pretty". I think once he was alone, he figured he would off her to show Ashley that he wasn't ogling her or wanting to do anything with her. In fact she meant so little to him, he butchered her right on her bed. To support this, the way Ashley reacts when she returns absolutely floors Andrew, he is calm about what happened but Ashley is still coming up with thoughts that he tried to fuck her, when in his mind, he was probably hoping she would be thrilled that he killed this awful, hell-bound, hussie. But instead she is still somehow mad despite her being now a corpse. He becomes to fed up that even though he did what she would've anyways, it is somehow not good enough for her. (I will dive deeper into this interaction below with another theory that relies heavily on this.)

The Hussie hit on him.

This one ties into Make my Ashley happy. There is a good chance this obviously sexually attractive woman tried seducing Andrew while they were alone. She had no problem doing it with the Warden's to get better treatment, and I have no doubt this was her go-to get out of trouble free card. This charming young man would surely fall for her good looks right? Right? There's two thought processes that would make this reasonable. 1. He was worried how Ashley would react if she walked in with her clearly flirting with him and how that would make her feel. 2. My personal favorite of these two, he is dedicated to Ashley and was offended by her advances and killed her in a show of devotion to her.

Now that we have the more sane theories out of the way, lets get to the GOOD STUFF.

Andrew's Fantasy.

This theory is more of a mental guess as to Andrew's relationship and views of Ashley. He has been clearly fed up with her more than once up to this point, having arguments, dealing with her shit, and all the trauma he just experienced from starving for weeks, isolation, and having to butcher and eat someone, and then murder a man to save her.

What if once Andrew had a moment alone with someone who was essentially his victim, he decided to truly see how he felt about something. I believe Andrew may have not seen Lady 302 as Ashley, but just for the hell of it, imagined that she was Ashley. Despite the different appearances, I'm sure he could overlook it in the state of mind he was in at this point, and decided how it would feel to finally kill "Ashley". The way he kills her just doesn't feel like he said fuck it and wanted the lady dead, she is laid out on the bed, there's no signs of a struggle either. Later in the game during one of the visions, there is the one where Andrew finally kills Ashley. When she accepts that he will kill her, he brings the cleaver to her throat similarly to how the throat of Lady 302 was cut. The similarities just feel so similar that I had to bring this up despite it being possibly far fetched but that's what makes these fun!

and now for my most absolutely far fetched theory yet.

Don't these two look similar?

This theory is much more far fetched but hear me out on this!

I know this may be a result of Nemlei's artstyle but these two have some stark similarities in my opinion. Both blonde, same eye color based on the greyscale of them, similar hair parting, and a similar face shape.

After all the trauma Andrew went through in the weeks locked in their apartment and then killing several people and eating one no doubt sent his brain to a bad place.

I think after all that hell he endured he may have simply had a breaking point and felt like he saw a ghost or just the stark similarities between Lady 302 and Nina just made something snap.

I want to back this up by making a point to the story telling in the game. Before they go and escape their apartment conveniently before the Room 302 incident, there is a dream about how Andrew and Ashley killed Nina. This could be just the flow of the story telling however, I feel like it was a lead up to what really happened in Room 302. It just feels too perfect to include that scene right before he kills someone who I am assuming is what Nina may have grown up to look like, AND then with this scene occurring once Ashley returns almost feels like a nail in the coffin of this theory.

Nina isn't brought up in the apartment, or once they're in the motel. Nina is brought up during a heated exchange in Room 302 right after Andrew might have felt as if he killed Nina once again, yet just like when they killed Nina, Ashley still somehow thinks that Andrew has a thing for a woman he helped kill, and this absolutely drives him off his fucking rocker.

This exchange floored Mr. Doormat so intensely he finally was ready to absolutely throttle the life out of her. Andrew was finally so fed up with being berated for doing things for Ashley's sake he just wanted it to be done and over with forever. Andrew once again found himself in the same place Ashley put him in all those years ago, but this time he knows he isn't as vulnerable as he was and uses it to his advantage, but after their little squabble, they leave together to bless our hearts with Chapter 2.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Perhaps this was as plain as the story made it out to be. There is a good chance that Andrew didn't want to leave a witness and said hell with it and butchered the woman in Room 302. But I'd like to believe that with all the hidden details Nemlei has scattered throughout this game that there is truth to one of these theories, hell maybe even a giant jumble of them all together is the true story of Room 302.

But with everything I presented today I hope you all perhaps are too questioning what really happened in Room 302 like I was.

I'd love to hear any theories you guys have regarding this or twists/opinions on the ones I presented here!

Thank you all for reading!

#andrew graves #ashley graves #gravecest #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley graves #tcoal #andy and leyley

714 notes · View notes

awritessomething · 1 year ago

Note

Hey I saw your requests are open

If you want to can you write a Derek Morgan x Spencer's sister where Spencer finds out their dating. Can it be very angsty but full of fluff at the end ( sorry if ive worded it weird ive never requested a fic before)

Thank you 😁

i love angst thank you so very much

𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 | derek morgan x fem!reader

requests

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | Derek Morgan and Y/N Reid had been hiding their relationship from everyone on the face of the Earth for a year. An unexpected interruption one night ruins everything.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | angst, reid!reader, angry spencer, arguing, crying, swearing, protective!spencer.

Y/N Reid and Derek Morgan, the two people least likely to be in a relationship, were. Y/N was Spencer Reid’s twin sister. Surprisingly, she also shared that same intelligence that Spencer did. That was most likely how they managed to keep everything hidden for so long.

Derek and Y/N had always been so careful. They were so careful with hiding their relationship from the public, from their friends, and especially from their family. Specifically Y/Ns family. Neither of them wanted to keep it a secret, of course they wanted to be able to be all public and lovey-dove, but that wasn't possible. Spencer was a supportive brother when it came to academics and almost every aspect of Y/Ns life, but not when it came to relationships.

With every boyfriend that Y/N had ever had, Spencer was always there, telling the man something to make him feel so stupid until the man just could not handle it anymore. He loved his twin sister and didn't want her to get hurt and for some reason, he believed that any and all men would hurt her.

Once Y/N told Derek this at the very beginning of their relationship, he had tried to convince her that it would be fine or that he could handle Spencer's criticism. She knew better. That was what her past boyfriend had said and just as she had predicted, he could not handle it. He ended up breaking up with her only a short while after meeting Spencer.

To respect Y/Ns wishes, Derek agreed to keep it secret. They kept it secret surprisingly well. Derek still acted like he was into other women when he was out in public, Y/N still went to parties when she could. Of course neither of them ever cheated on each other, everything that they said about other people were just lies. Somehow, Spencer never caught onto Derek's lying and Y/Ns disinterest in bringing home another man.

Everything was going so smoothly. It had gone perfectly for a whole year. On Derek and Y/Ns one year anniversary, things started to go wrong. After getting some dinner delivered to Y/Ns house from a fancy restaurant, they were laying in bed together, watching one of their shared favorite movies.

"Y/N, I know you don't want me to keep pestering you about this but when do you think we should tell Reid about us?" Derek asked as he was running soft circles on the skin of her arm. She looked down at his hand and then sighed.

"Soon, Derek. You know I don't like hiding it either, but we have to." She responded, looking up at her boyfriend now with a soft smile. He couldn't even try to be frustrated with her.

"We've been together for a year now, are you sure he wont be a bit understanding?"

"I know my brother. Spencer will not approve." She shook her head. Derek gave up on the subject. About halfway through the movie, the wine got to Derek and he fell asleep, his head now resting on her as he snored. With his weight on top of her, Y/N ended up falling asleep as well. The movie was still playing quite loudly in the background, it muffled any other background noise quite well.

It wasn't really like the couple would be thanking the movie for what happened next though. In fact, they were more mad about it than anything. Spencer and Y/N had been hanging out the day before. She left her sweater at his place. In her opinion, he kept his place too warm. He only noticed her sweater hung up on the coat-rack a few hours after she left. He decided to drive it over to her house.

In her house, Y/N had her arms around Derek who had his head resting on her chest. Spencer had a key to her house, she had a key to his. They had these just in case they needed something or in case one forgot their key. They lived quite close.

Spencer hadn't noticed Derek's car since it was parked about two blocks away and around a corner. He fiddled with his keychain and then opened the door. He could hear the movie playing.

"Y/N?" He called out. The movie was too loud though and she didn't respond. She had a thing where she always put her shoes in the closet beside the front door. One of her coats had fallen down and covered Derek's shoes. Spencer put his shoes in the closet and then walked through the hall. Before he got to her door, he knocked on the door. "Y/N, are you awake?" He called out again. This time, both she and Derek heard his voice. She didn't respond though, in too much shock to even think of the most basic word in the English language.

He turned the doorknob and opened the bedroom door just as Derek was trying to scramble out the window. He froze in the doorway. Derek froze in the window.

"What the fuck." That was all Spencer could even imagine saying as he saw his best friend and his sister together. Derek turned his head slowly and looked at Spencer. "Get back here, Morgan."

Derek dropped back down into the room as if he was being yelled at by an angry parent. Y/N was completely silent, just looking between the two men. "I swear, we can explain." Derek was about to try and start defending his and Y/Ns relationship. Spencer lifted a hand and Derek shut his mouth. He had never been so scared of a scrawny nerdy man before.

"Spence, please. I love him." Y/N crawled out of the bed and walked over to her brother. He looked down at her, an unimpressed look in his eyes.

"You said this about the last guy too. What about the one before him?" He brought up her past boyfriends and she looked down for a second, her cheeks reddening. Derek was a bit too nervous to speak up, so he just stayed quiet. He planned on only speaking if he was spoken to.

"I'm serious about Derek."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" His voice cracked. Y/N tilted her head, a little bit confused now. "How long?"

"We've been together for a year."

"A year? You've been together for a year but you didn't tell me?"

"I didn't want you to be mad at us."

"You're my sister. Derek is my best friend. You thought that dating him and not telling me would be better than just telling me?" Spencer raised his voice a bit. Y/N flinched. Derek stepped forward now. "It was your idea, wasn't it?" Spencer directed his attention to Derek now.

"No, Spence, he wanted to tell you. I told him not to." Y/N tried to defend Derek. He looked at her, furrowing his brows in concern. Spencer scoffed and then gave her the sweater that he was still holding in his hands. She glanced down at it and then back up at her brother.

"Whatever. You know what, I don't know why I'm surprised." Spencer ran a hand through his hair. "You're always sleeping around with women, I should have expected that one day you would manage to get my sister too." He pointed an angry finger at Derek.

"Woah, woah. No. Listen, at first, I didn't even think that she was your sister, ok?" Derek decided to speak up now. Spencer rolled his eyes. "I know it sounds dumb, but its true. I met her when she was coming to the BAU to talk to you about some case, but we talked for a few minutes and I only found out that she is your sister when I saw her walk over to you."

"You still thought that it would be fine to make a move on her?" Spencer asked, still holding that same angry look in his eyes. It was one that Derek didn't think he had ever seen.

"Yeah. I thought maybe my best friend would understand that I found a girl who I really liked and that I wanted to see if she would give me a chance. She did."

"Bullshit." He grumbled. Derek glanced down at Y/N and then back at Spencer, a bit confused as to what he was saying now.

"Which part?"

"You thought I would be fine with this?" Spencer crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I thought you were mature enough."

"Don't do that." Y/N whispered to Derek. It was a bit too late though. Spencer ran another hand through his hair.

"Fine. I hope you're happy with him for whatever time you have left." Spencer spat and then walked out of the bedroom and house. Y/N and Spencer stood there, just silently thinking.

"What if he's right? Should we even be together?" Y/N asked, looking up at Derek. Her eyes were glossed over with tears. Derek felt his heart squeezing at both her words and the sad look in her eyes.

"Come on, of course he's not right." Derek held her hand, bringing it to his lips to press a soft kiss to it.

"Derek, I don't remember the last time he was wrong." She frowned as Derek continued to press soft kisses along the back of her hand and knuckles.

"I know. This is a first though, ok? Don't listen to him."

"I need some time, Derek. Can you give me that?" She requested. He frowned.

"No, I can't." He used his grip on her hand to pull him into her arms. She broke down, tears streaming down her cheeks. Having her boyfriend rejected by Spencer was nothing new, but it still hurt. Her fingers dug into his shirt, clinging to him as she sobbed. He put his chin on top of her head and just held her, letting her cry.

"He'll come around eventually, ok? I'm not going anywhere." He stroked her hair gently and she nodded, pulling out of his arms and looking up at him. He wiped away her tears.

They spent the rest of their night just talking and thinking about their future. Over the next couple of weeks, they got used to being more public. They told their non-Spencer-related friends and then Derek's family. Everyone was super supportive and honestly just happy that they had each other.

Y/N walked into the BAU one day, her purse on her arm as she walked through the space. Spencer looked at her from his desk, confused as to why she was there. Emily whispered something to J.J. and then kept watching. Derek was leaning against a wall, talking to Penelope about something. She walked up beside him.

"Oh- hi! You're Reid's sister, right?"

"Yeah. I'm Y/N." She stuck out her hand and shook Penelope's hand who gave her a welcoming smile. She tried her best not to say anything too crazy for now. Derek glanced down at Y/N, who was now reaching into her purse.

"You forgot this at my place." She pulled out something and handed it to him. He slipped the object into his pocket.

"Thanks." He smiled and then leaned down and kissed her. Penelope let out a sharp gasp, obviously completely flabbergasted at what she was seeing. Y/N smiled against Derek's lips and then pulled away.

"I'll see you tonight?" She asked, running a hand down his chest.

"Always." Derek reassured her. Y/N turned and left with a little wave. Everyone had seen. Even Rossi and Hotch. Everyone kind of looked around at each other and then immediately started bombarding Derek with questions on his not so new girlfriend.

When Spencer heard how Derek talked about her as if she was some sort of angel, he started to rethink his opinion on their relationship. Penelope and Y/N got along great and so she was then friends with the girls at the BAU. They all heard about their relationship, but they also heard about the problems with Spencer.

It took a few more months before Spencer ended up warming up to their relationship and stopped trying to destroy or show his disapproval of their love. With his approval, everything just managed to get better. That was all either could ask for.

#spencer reid angst #Spencer Reid imagine #derek morgan x reader #derek morgan imagine #derek morgan fluff #Derek morgan angst #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds angst #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds fluff #Shemar Moore

334 notes · View notes

halsteadlover · 2 years ago

Text

𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫

*Gif and pics not mine credits to the owner*

• Pairing: Will Halstead x Fem!Reader.

• Requested: yes by anon.

• Summary: danger is always behind the corner and you learn to never let your guard down when you find yourself in a situation between life and death. Will your husband be able to save you? Will he find you in time?

• Warnings: mention of domestic violence, stab wound, blood, cursing, Will is kind of a dumbass at the beginning (what can we say? Men…)

• Word count: 5642.

• A/N: I fucking hate how this turned out bye. I’m sorry for any mistake or grammar error.

That morning everything seemed normal.

You treated patients, cured some, discharged others and between one break and another you wasted no time going to your husband to give him a little kiss.

“What do you want eat tonight baby?” he asked. You and Will were in the doctors' break room during one of the aforementioned breaks, only the two of you in there. You were sitting on the small couch next to each other, his arm around your shoulders while you ate a bag of chips.

“Do you want to cook?”.

He looked at you for a moment and you chuckled at his expression. You both had to do a double shift that day so you knew neither of you would even want to go near the kitchen once you got back home.

“I’d like Mexican, what you think?”.

“Hell yeah! You know I never say no to Mexican food.”

He laughed at the enthusiasm you showed, meanwhile playing with strands of your hair. “Mexican it is then.”

You continued to devour the chips under your husband’s gaze who looked at you as if he had seen a mystical creature for the first time. “What? I’m hungry.” You babbled with your mouth half full.

“You don't even share with your beloved husband? So greedy.”

You glared at him before taking the last chip left in the bag and shoving it into your mouth, moaning heartily in his face. “No matter how much I love you, you know very well I don't share my food with anyone.”

He rolled his eyes, trying to hide a smile. “Wipe your mouth you pretty little bitch.”

But before you could reach for a tissue he came closer to you and licked the corner of your mouth, bursting out laughing when you pushed him away, wiping yourself with a tissue from the coffee table in front of you. “Ew Will you're disgusting!”

“Disgusting? You don't seem to complain when you take my dick in...-”

You covered his mouth with your hand before he could finish his sentence and let someone hear, feeling him smile as his eyes glistened at you. You should’ve predicted though that in true child style, he’d lick the palm of your hand.

“Will for fuck’s sake! Stop it!”.

“I can’t! God baby you're so easy to piss of,” he continued laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world. You looked at him sideways before wiping your hand on his white coat. “C’mon give me a kiss now, come on.”

He wrapped his arms around your hips, trying to pull you towards him to kiss you while you tried to push him away by pressing your hands on his chest.

“No! Go away!”.

You continued to fight like children until, however, that playful atmosphere was interrupted when the door opened and Maggie entered.

“Here you are! Stop acting like lovebirds and go back to work. We have two new patients, victims of a car crash.”

After quickly washing your hands you left the break room, following Will and Maggie. You and Will exchanged a look before splitting up to go to the two patients.

The patient you took into your care – whose name you found out was Amanda – was in a critical condition: fractures of the femur and humerus not to mention the small fractures in almost her entire body, a sprained arm that would’ve required a cast, an internal hemorrhage due to the rupture of the spleen.

As you and the nurses worked to stabilize Amanda as quickly as possible, you couldn't help but notice something that bothered you quite a bit.

On her lower back, around her arms, on her thighs there were bruises that were not compatible with the dynamics of the car crash and which based on their almost faded color seemed to date back to some time ago.

“Amanda, did you have another accident a few days ago?” You asked her, your voice low so the rest of the team wouldn't hear you. She looked at you with a heartbroken expression and her eyes filled with tears before shaking her head.

“I'm just very clumsy and distracted, I often fall or bump into furniture and doors.”

Her voice was shaking and your heart tightened, knowing it was a complete lie.

“Amanda… You're safe here okay? Say one word, anything and whoever did this won't hurt you again...”

“No, no, no, no,” she became agitated and her heart monitor began to beep from her rapid heartbeat. “Please don't say anything doctor… He… Please. He's a good husband, he's just a little tired and stressed lately.”

“Hey, hey, it's okay Amanda, it's okay. I'm just here to help you.” You shook her hand and she nodded weakly. “But whatever he told you, it isn’t…-”

“It’s fine just… Just cure me.” She tore her eyes away from yours, bringing them to the ceiling even if more tears continued to fall.

It was clear that Amanda was a victim of domestic violence, she was literally terrified of her husband. You felt helpless, your heart broke for her even if you couldn’t even imagine what she was going through.

You were treating that woman knowing she’d go home and her husband would start beating her again. What kind of doctor were you if you hadn't helped her?

But how could you help someone who didn't want to be helped?

You should’ve called the police, but what would you have said to them? It was your assumption even if all the bruises and healed bone fractures were evidence of physical abuse, but you knew how the police worked, they couldn't do anything if there was no complaint from the victim. And you knew if you called them, Amanda would deny everything and it’d affect her worse than it already did.

You sent Amanda to run some tests and left her room after throwing away your gloves and washing your hands. Your mind was only focused on her as you filled out her medical records so much you didn't even hear Will come closer to you until he put his hand around her waist to great you, leaving a kiss on you temple.

“Baby you okay? How is the wife?” He asked as he picked up her bastard husband's newly created medical record.

“She was in critical condition but I believe she’ll make full recovery. The husband?”.

“He was luckier, he only suffered a few bruises and small fractures. The guy must be madly in love with his wife, all he did was ask about her and say he wanted to see her.”

“I think Amanda is a victim of domestic violence, your guy isn't in love at all,” you voiced your concerns before placing your pen on the papers and looking at Will.

“You sure?”.

“She has bruises all over her body clearly from days ago and her X-Rays show old healed fractures. Not mentioning how she’s terrified of him.”

“Wow…” Will breathed out, pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “There must be an explanation…”

“Babe did you hear a word I just said? We have to help that woman. He’ll kill sooner or later.”

“Don't you think you're a little bit exaggerating a little love?” Will put his hands on your shoulders “If she doesn't tell you anything there's nothing we can do…”

“Will, he beats the shit out of her and God knows what else does to her!” You whispered/shouted with frustration. “She doesn't say anything so we let that bastard beat her?”.

“I didn’t mean that! What I was trying to say is just… Don't jump to conclusions, there must be other reasons why she must’ve gotten those bruises…”

“Oh yeah of course. She must hit herself on the side so hard she left a shoe imprint on her skin for fun. This really makes sense.” You snapped the folder close and walked away, ignoring Will who tried to call you out.

You were pissed off.

It was always the same exact story, over and over again.

How the fuck were women supposed to trust the system and report abuses when those who were part of this system didn't even believe them?

You talked to Amanda, stood by her side during her MRI and the other tests, keeping her away from her husband as much as possible.

You didn't force her to say anything, you didn't insist to let her talk about what was happening in her household. It wouldn't do her any good, you wanted her to know she had a choice, you wanted to give her as much time as possible to think about what to do.

“Whatever happened I believe you Amanda, okay? You don't have to be afraid and I'll be here to help you if you want.”

That was all you said to her about the topic and she nodded slightly before bursting into a liberating and heartbreaking cry. You stayed with her the whole time, hugging her and reassuring her that everything would be okay, that she wasn’t alone.

Yet she said nothing to you, nothing about her husband, deeply terrified of the consequences there might be.

She eventually fell asleep and you let her rest, telling the nurses to always keep an eye on her and to let you know immediately if anything happened.

“Dr. Y/Ln, Mr. Connell's X-Rays just arrived, Dr. Halstead left for another patient.” A nurse had told you as soon as you passed by their station. Your heart skipped a beat, realizing you didn’t meet Amanda’s husband yet.

You wanted so much to let him rot in hell but you couldn't, you had duties to fulfill as a doctor even if he was the most disgusting piece of shit on earth.

You took the envelope with the X-Rays and thanked the nurse before she went back helping other patients. You went to the bastard's room, taking a deep breath before entering.

You tried to hide your indignation as soon as you saw him lying on the bed, maintaining a professional and impassive expression.

“Who are you? Where is Dr. Halstead?” He asked as soon as you entered his room.

“I'm Dr. Y/Ln, he's busy at the moment.”

“My wife… Do you know where she is? How is she?”. If you hadn't seen the condition of Amanda's body you would’ve even thought he was really worried.

Son of a bitch.

You swallowed the anger that threatened to release words you’d regret and that you knew Amanda would pay the price for. “She's fine. She’s doing some tests,” you deadpanned before taking the X-Ray out of the folder. “There are no serious fractures, just a small one here on the collarbone…”

“I want to know where my wife is. Why doesn't anyone tell me anything?” He blurted out, not even letting you finish your sentence.

“Sir, as I said, she’s doing some tests. She was in quite critical condition and we’re doing our best to treat her,” you replied in a flat tone although your heart was pounding. The way he was looking at you made your skin crawl and your heart ached for Amanda and the fact she had to live with this piece of shit every single day.

“What tests is she doing?”.

“I’m sorry but I cannot discuss clinical details of other patients with other people.”

He looked at you angrily. “What the hell are you talking about? I’m her husband! I have the right to know how my wife is doing!”.

“Mr Connell I’m just trying to do my job. I just came here to show you your X-Rays, like…” You continued talking, holding up them again to show them to him but cut yourself off when he pulled the covers away from his body and stood up abruptly, making you take a step back in fear.

“What’s going on doctor? Why don't you want to update me on my wife's health status?” He stated through gritted teeth, taking steps towards you and looking at you menacingly. You slowly took as many steps back, your breathing quickening as fear took over you.

“Mr Connell, just go back to bed…”

“What did that filthy whore say to you?” He spat and you were about to rush to the door and run away when he violently pushed you against it, making you fall to the ground.

“What. Did. She. Say.” He grabbed your hair in a fist and pulling you back to your feet.

You squirmed to try to escape his grasp, digging your nails into his skin. “She didn't tell me anything… I don't know what you're talking about…”

He punched you in the face in response, causing you to let out a loud cry of pain as you fell to the ground again.

“Fuck,” you muttered, holding a hand to your nose and realizing you were bleeding.

In that moment you had a glimpses of what Amanda had to go through every single day of her life and you could really understand why she was so terrified of that man.

“Oh you know exactly what I'm talking about you bitch.”

You tried to get up but he grabbed your hair in a fist again and pushed you with force towards the emergency cart in the room, so violently some objects fell from it and some drawers opened.

“You piece of shit…” you spat as you tried to get up but he walked over to you and kicked you back to the ground.

It all happened quickly.

So quickly that between his attacks you didn't even have time to process what was happening. He was overpowering you and every time you tried to hit him so you could escape, he hit you back.

He pushed you on the floor, picked you up and tossed you around the room as if you were a garbage bag.

You were lying on the ground, curled up in a fetal position as you held your stomach after a painful kick to the stomach.

Your mind went to Will, wanting nothing more than your husband in that moment.

Baby please help me.

You lay down on your back in an attempt to catch some breath but a scream echoed through the room.

Your whole body froze and in an instant everything around you stopped.

What happened?

Was that scream yours?

A searing pain went through your abdomen and a warm sensation enveloped your body.

You lifted your head slightly only to realize in horror you had a pair of scissors impaled in your abdomen.

He fucking stabbed me.

You had treated hundreds of thousands of patients with stab wounds, you had always tried to reassure them, telling them you knew it hurt but everything would be fine.

But the truth was that you had no idea what your patients were feeling, the paralyzing fear, the excruciating pain, the terror of not surviving.

You don't fully know things until you go through them and in that moment, as the blood poured out of your stomach and smeared your red uniform, making it two shades darker, your body paralyzed by shock, you really understood how it felt.

Your chest rose and fell quickly as you struggled to breathe properly. Tears began to fell from your eyes when you saw the man bending over you and at that precise moment you feared your time had come.

You feared you’d never see Will again, that he wouldn’t find out until you were dead.

You needed him, you wanted your husband.

Please Will I need you.

The man pulled the scissors out of your wound which started to bleed a lot more, staining the floor red.

He looked into your eyes and the coldness he showed almost shocked you. They were glassy, empty, devoid of emotions and any trace of remorse.

“When you see my beloved wife, tell her to start planning her funeral.”

Without looking back, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving you dying and immersed in a pool of your own blood.

The wound burned stingingly as you brought your trembling hands to it to try to make pressure, but in vain.

How could so much blood come out of a not so big wound?

Sounds of throbbing pain continued to escape your lips, your breathing heavy, your heart beating wildly.

You tried to move and lift yourself up but every time you ended up lying back on the ground.

You were too weak.

What you managed to do was crawl on your elbows, leaving a trail of blood on the floor with every step you made.

You raised an arm to try to open the door. Your trembling fingers even managed to wrap around the handle but the blood on them made you slip and fall to the floor again.

Your breathing was starting to slow down, as was your heartbeat. That feeling of heat that invaded your body turned into cold, forming goosebumps all over your skin.

You were tired. So incredibly tired.

You just wanted to get some sleep and rest a bit.

So you closed your eyes, not knowing if you’d open them again.

Will looked everywhere for you but couldn't find you. He even looked for you in Amanda's room who, however, had told him she hadn't seen you for some time. He thought you were avoiding him but he couldn't think you had abandoned your patients just to avoid talking to him.

“Have you seen Y/n?” He had asked Maggie as soon as he saw her walk by.

“No, but I’ll tell her to look for you as soon as I see her.”

It felt like you had disappeared off the face of the earth, he knew you’d never have left without warning unless it was an emergency.

He tried to page you so many times, to call you on your cell phone but nothing, he received no answer. His mind tried not to immediately think something bad had happened, he couldn't even imagine it, but it was all he could think about at that moment since no one seemed to have seen you for a while.

He thought you might’ve gone to talk to Amanda's husband, knowing you would’ve tried to confront him. So he went towards Jack’s room but he stopped in his tracks before opening the door when his feet stepped on something wet.

He lowered his gaze and looking down he soon realized with horror it was blood.

He tried to open the door carefully, his heart beating wildly as he imagined all sorts of scenarios in front of him.

The door didn't open completely, as if there was some sort of resistance on the other side, so Will tried to squeeze through the small space.

But nothing could’ve prepared him for what his eyes saw, for what he never wanted to see.

His heart stopped beating for a few seconds when his eyes fell on the unconscious figure lying on the floor and immersed in a pool of her own blood. That figure he’d never, ever wanted to see in that condition, not even in his worst nightmares. YOU.

“Oh my god Y/n!” He loudly exclaimed, immediately kneeling next to you and pressing his hands on your wound from which blood was still flowing. You didn't react, your eyes were closed, your heartbeat slow.

“Baby, wake up… Please, please, please, open your eyes.”

How long were you there? Why hadn't anyone notice this?

“Somebody help me! Hurry up!”.

“Oh shit!” The nurse who rushed there screamed, putting her hands over her mouth as soon as she saw Will kneeling down, covered in your own blood.

“Where the fuck were you?!” Will exclaimed angrily, his mind completely clouded from the anger, the confusion, from the fear of coming too late.

“Oh God… I… I gave her the patient's X-Rays… There was an emergency and… And… I-I had to leave…” she stammered, shocked.

Will gave her a murderous look that would’ve killed her on the spot if he could. He knew it wasn't her fault, just the bastard who did this to you, but he couldn't help but blame someone in that moment.

He brought his eyes back to you, only then noticing the scratches and bruises that surrounded your face.

Oh baby what did they do to you?

“I'm here love, I'm here… It's okay. You’ll be fine. Just hang on for a bit.”

One of his hands let go of your wound to check your pulse, realizing it was barely noticeable. His heart tightened in a vice as he caressed her face, staining it with your own blood.

“Please wake up, please… Don't do this to me baby, you can't… You can't… I need you…” He kept repeating, his eyes starting to glaze over with tears after yelling for help again. Dr. Crockett, who was passing by at the time, intervened immediately as soon as he realized what was happening.

“What the hell happened?!” He asked urgently as he watched the horrific scene that seemed to come out from a horror movie. “We need to take her to the OR immediately, prepare four bags of 0 neg, she's lost too much blood!”

But Will didn't let you go, he continued to stay there putting pressure on your wound and keeping his gaze fixed on you.

“Will…” Crockett murmured placing a hand on his shoulder “She'll be make it okay? She’s in good hands but you have to let me do my job, you can’t be here.”

“Will!”.

Only then he seemed to realize Crockett was actually talking to him. He slightly nodded, reluctantly letting you go and watching as they carried you away.

He was in shock, struggling to believe what was happening was reality and not just a fucking nightmare.

He raised his now red and trembling hands and his eyes looked at them for a few moments, analyzing and carefully observing the blood he hardly struggled to believe was yours.

What the hell happened?

There was no doubt it was that bastard Jack Connell who did this to you and an anger he had never felt before ran through him.

He was furious.

Furious because he had allowed someone to hurt you, because he had failed to protect you, furious with himself because he didn’t believed you when you expressed your concern.

He was devastated.

Desperate.

It was all his fault.

He stayed there for he didn't know how long, looking at those hands that until recently were pressing on your wound, the same hands that until a few hours before were holding you and hugging you.

When he finally looked up around the room, he noticed what a dire, chaotic mess there was and it was clear there had been a fight before.

Only then he realized there was no trace of that bastard, that he had probably already escaped from the hospital and with the tumultuous coming and going of patients, nurses and doctors no one had even noticed him.

He took his cell phone out of his pocket, not caring he was getting blood on it, and with trembling fingers dialed Jay's number.

Jay almost had a heart attack when he heard about what happened and seeing his brother covered in blood was awful even if he knew it wasn't his. He was worried for you while trying to calm Will down. But he was still in a catalytic state so Jay stayed with him, helping him clean himself up.

Will explained to his brother it was probably Jack Connell who did it, he told him your concerns about him mentally and physically abusing his wife but that he didn't believe you.

“It's not your fault okay? I want you to understand this. It was his fault, it’s him who did this to her and I promise we’ll get him and make him pay for what he did to her, he’ll rot in prison. An attack on Y/n is an attack on all of us.” He tried to reassure Will. “She'll make it, she’s strong but she needs you now, she needs you to be by her side, I know you're scared now but you have to be strong for her, brother.”

Will was completely losing his mind while waiting for your surgery to be over, not sitting for even a minute as he paced back and forth in the waiting room, waiting at the same time some news from Jay.

When Crockett finally came out of the OR and announced the surgery had gone well and that he had managed to sew up the wound, Will couldn't help but hug him in the throes of joy and happiness.

As he walked to the ICU, he felt a weight pressing down on his shoulders, anxiety gnawing at his stomach to the point it made him feel nauseous.

His legs trembled as he approached your bed, his palms sweated, his eyes watered as he looked at you lying on that bed, unconscious.

He sat down on a chair next to you, taking one of your hands as his thumb caressed your skin. He pressed his lips on your knuckles, leaving a chaste and small kiss so light as if he was afraid of hurting you.

He sniffed when he realized a few tears had escaped his eyes, quickly wiping them away with his fingers. “I'm so sorry baby, this wasn't supposed to happen to you,” He whispered, looking at you while struggling to keep his emotions inside.

He felt terribly guilty.

It was his fault you were on that bed.

It was his fault you had to suffer.

His heart tightened as he thought about what you had to go through and he hated himself for not being able to prevent it, for not believing you.

He didn't want to think about how scared you had been, how terrified you were of dying, how many you had called for him but he didn’t come.

“I'm so sorry I didn't believe you, I'll never forgive myself,” he kept talking to you. “How can you be so beautiful even on a hospital bed? I really am a lucky bastard.”

He smiled faintly as he looked at you. “Please wake up baby, show me those beautiful eyes I fell so madly in love with… I’m begging you…”

He stood up and left a kiss on your forehead while stroking your hair at the same time before sitting back on the chair.

“I already miss you so much you know that? I'm sorry I don't tell you often how much I love you, I'm sorry I only realized now that I risked losing you how much you mean to me. Don't get me wrong I already know this, you’re one of the most important person in my life, God only knows I can't live without you... But I didn't realize how intensely and deeply you affect my life Y/n. You… Damn it…” He finished the sentence with a sigh as he tried to find the right words.

“I can't exist without you, I can't think properly, I can’t breathe, I... I’m nothing. You completed me, you always managed to fill the void I’ve always felt inside, you’ve always been that fundamental piece to complete the puzzle. Just… Please… Please don't leave me.”

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the beeps of the monitor connected to your heart. He left another kiss on the back of your hand, his eyes never leaving your sleeping face.

“I love you so much Y/n Halstead, you have no idea how much. I stop to think about our wedding day every now and then and you don't know how much money I’d pay to go back to that day and see you again in that beautiful white dress... God I would say yes to you a million more times and if we lived other lives I would say yes to you in those too because meeting you and marrying you was the best thing I've ever done in my entire life.”

“I'm so sorry…” He whispered, the words dying in his throat before he let out a silent cry, his forehead resting on the bed as he continued to silently pray.

“I heard you the first thousand times Dr Halstead…”

Will snapped his head to you, his eyes widening and almost having a heart attack when he saw you were finally awake and looking at him.

You had a small smile on your lips, trying not to chuckle as you looked at the shocked look on his face.

“Baby oh my fucking god!” He almost screamed before leaning over you and hugging you in the rush of joy and happiness. He held you tightly for an indefinite time, fearing for a moment it was a hallucination.

He let you go though when you let out a painful sigh. “Shit I'm sorry love.” He sat down again. “How are you? How are you feeling? You need something? Are you hurting? God I missed you so much.”

“The wound hurts a little but overall I'm fine...” You replied, your voice thick and hoarse. “What happened? Where is that son of a bitch? Is Amanda okay?”.

“He ran away after what… What he did to you and I called Jay, they'll catch him I promise. Amanda is okay, Jay questioned her and she told him everything, you were right about the abuse… I’m so sorry for not believing you.”

You nodded feebly, momentarily looking away from Will who kept his eyes on you with a broken look on his face, and you took a deep breath, more painful than you would’ve ever imagined.

Image after image of the attack replayed in your mind.

Of the screams no one seemed to hear.

Of the prayers to let you go.

Of his hands punching you and throwing you against the walls and objects in the room as if you were garbage.

Of his feet kicking you.

Of those scissors that had torn your skin and stabbed you.

“Oh baby.” You felt Will's thumb wipe away a tear that had slipped down your temple without you even realizing it. “C’mere.”He stood up and hugged you as best he could again, being careful this time not to hurt you. “It's okay, you're here with me now and you're safe. That piece of shit won't hurt you again I promise.”

It was as if that hug had triggered something inside you and you burst into tears, lifting your arms and encircling his chest while venting all the suppressed emotions.

“I was… I was so scared Will… T-that I wouldn't see you again…”

Will pressed his lips to your forehead, leaving a sweet and long kiss as he savored and thanked the angels for still giving the opportunity to do it.

“I know darling, I know, I can't even imagine what you went through…”

He stroked your hair, your skin marred by scratches and bruises. “It shouldn't have happened to you, I'm so sorry my love. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you...” he kissed you again. “But you're safe now okay? Now you're here with me, you're safe, and unless I’ll die I'll never let you out of my sight again.”

You giggled through your tears, hugging again the man you loved more than anything else.

“I love you so much more Will Halstead, it's not your fault okay? Please always remember that, it wasn't you who did it but that son of a bitch.”

He didn't answer but held you tighter, hiding his face in the crook of your neck while your fingers ran through his fluffy hair. Your heart broke when you realized he was crying.

“Hey, hey, it's okay. You really think I would leave you? Who would’ve made your life a living hell if I died?” You tried to ease the tension. “Oh baby I love you so much.”

“I thought I lost you… When I found you there…” His words came muffled but he stopped, not even being able to finish the sentence. He didn't want to think about those horrible moments anymore, about the fear he felt, even though he knew those images would never leave his mind.

A feeling of anguish took hold of you after hearing he was the one who found you. You couldn't imagine how horrible it was to find your wife, your partner, the person you care about most, almost dying.

“Shh it’s okay,” you whispered “Look at me.”

He slightly lifted his head and if your heart wasn't broken enough already, it was in that moment. You cupped your hands over his face, wiping away his tears with your thumbs. He leaned into your touch, looking at you as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world.

“I'm here, I'll get better. It’s. Not. Your. Fault. If anything you saved me baby, if you hadn't found me I would’ve probably bled to death so stop blaming yourself okay? Do it for me.“

He nodded and you smiled before pressing your lips to his in a sweet, gentle kiss.

“I’m so sorry love I don’t want to make this about me,” he said wiping again his tears and you both chuckled.

“Yeah yeah, sure, you egocentric bastard.” You rolled your eyes and burst out laughing at the same time even if you stopped immediately after, holding your stomach. “Fuck it hurts.”

“I know you’re so funny baby but take it easy.”

Despite everything, despite the pain, the anxiety and the terror of dying, the fear of never seeing that red hair again, of never hugging him, you were so grateful for still being there. You were grateful to life for giving you another opportunity, for allowing to live, to cry again, to love.

General tag list: @hngbrooks, @alexxavicry, @halstead-severide-fan, @mrspeacem1nusone, @allivs, @omniaimy, @cursedashes, @kmc1989, @klovesreading, @firetruckstuckley

Will Halstead tag list: @rsquared31, @s1lverhand, @novabckly, @thebejeweledwatercat

Click here to be added to the tag list ❤️

Main Masterlist

Will Halstead Masterlist

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

Side blog -> @halsteadloverslibrary

Ask Link 💭

457 notes · View notes

unordinary-diary · 9 months ago

Text

Ensemble and Intelligence

Everyone in the main cast is really smart, actually. Every last one of them. But it doesn’t feel repetitive or unrealistic because they’re all smart in different ways.

Seraphina: is probably the most obviously smart. She’s capable of perfect grades, she’s a skilled liar, good at reading people and puzzling information together, and she’s really really clever. The moment that sticks out to me most is when she used clever wording to trick Nadia, the lie detector, during her interrogation in chapter 28, without hesitation or breaking a sweat. I’d argue that she’s actually the smartest character in the cast.

Blyke: is mostly academically smart. He gets good grades in school and finds the work to be easy. Beyond that, he’s also good at reading people. He’s not as good as Seraphina is, but he’s able to read his two best friends like a book, and he has a much higher emotional intelligence than I initially gave him credit for. He also uses his ability very creatively, even before his power up. A moment that sticks out to me is when Remi was secretly going after EMBER, and Blyke was able to read her and piece together what was going on, meanwhile Isen had no idea anything was wrong.

Isen: is not a high achiever in school, but he excels in writing. He is proficient at gathering, piecing together, and expressing information. He’s also the only character except maybe Seraphina who consistently makes the smart decisions (as opposed to the reckless, emotional, hasty or ill informed/advised ones). Most characters make at least some stupid decisions and mistakes, but Isen is pretty much always focused on logic and foresight. Notable moments include: being able to track down John’s records, tracking down Claire, choosing not to publish the article on fake Jokers because he knew it would exacerbate the problem, tracking EMBER’s movements and basically anything he does on his computer.

John: initially seems like a total birdbrain. He acts like a dumbass, and he gets fairly bad grades. However, it’s clear from the beginning that he’s a good strategist. He thinks on his feet well, he’s good at sizing people up, and when he chooses to, he uses his ability with incredible creativity and tact. His intelligence is largely fighting centered. However, much later in the story, after John’s suspension, we see another side of him. It doesn’t show up much when he’s acting like silly old hair gel John, and definitely not much when he’s too buried in his anger to think straight, but John is really clever. This side of John is a lot like Seraphina’s smarts— he’s good at reading people, and he’s good at putting pieces together and thinking critically. Things that come to mind are when he read Arlo like a book, (something along the lines of “But you do need help. You wouldn’t have lost your cool if you had things under control.) and when he immediately sniffed out Sera’s lies (She said she was talking to Arlo about “Safe House stuff”, and John identifies that as a lie because if it were true she would have kept Remi in the room instead of asking for a private conversation with Arlo).

Arlo: is very cunning. He’s constantly scheming and thinking five steps ahead. He makes many misguided decisions due to his naïveté and misplaced trust, but he’s also very often the voice of reason. He’s a great leader and an even better manipulator. He’s always thinking analytically and connecting dots. An example is the fact that Arlo is the only person who suspected that John was actually a high tier, and looked deeper for more info. He also provided valuable insight in the Spectre investigation, and, like Isen, often encourages others on the side of caution (advising Seraphina not to meet with Spectre, involving John with the Spectre issue, telling Remi not to go after EMBER, etc.) Now, Arlo actually does give off the impression of being stupid at times, which is something I’d like to look at. He has many areas where he acts purely on his emotions and against common wisdom, but that is something that every person does. I think the reason why Arlo’s emotion-based decisions come off as stupidity moreso than other characters is because of the image he upholds: Arlo hides his emotions, pretends he doesn’t care about anything, and portrays himself as a person who acts on logic alone. Because of this, the emotions he acts upon aren’t always immediately obvious, or the audience doesn’t perceive them as being intense enough to make him behave the way he does. Therefore, Arlo’s mistakes (namely: targeting John because he feels abandoned and unfairly burdened, and refusing to believe the authorities are EMBER because he loves his aunt) — can be mistaken for a lack of critical thinking as opposed to a strong emotion.

Remi: is probably the least smart by conventional standards, but she sure as hell isn’t stupid. She has good critical thinking skills, she’s able to come to logical conclusions on her own, and she has good leadership. She was probably the first to put together that the authorities and EMBER are connected, and she was the one to realize that the writer of the Kovoro Mall article (Terrence) had been following them (Ch. 52). Not to mention that it was Remi who came up with the idea for the Safe House. However, the most notable facet of Remi’s smarts is her emotional intelligence. Remi is very good at navigating social situations, understanding herself and others, and she is excellent at communication. Highlights include the way she handled the situation with John (being understanding of him, hearing him out and offering to help him, but without compromising her own values), and the way she expressed to Blyke that she wasn’t mad at him but rather, scared for his safety, which was a clear, concise and honest way of explaining a very intense and complicated emotion, which is difficult to do in the heat of the moment.

#unordinary #arlo unordinary #john unordinary #blyke unordinary #seraphina unordinary #remi unordinary #analysis #ensemble entry #They are all. So smart.#i also think it’s really important to acknowledge that smart people can do stupid things #because emotions overriding logic is something that happens to everyone no matter how smart they are #this especially goes for Arlo because he is easily manipulated #but being manipulated doesn’t make a person stupid because manipulation deals with emotions and not logic #But as I discussed with Remi #emotions and intelligence do have overlap #but having emotional intelligence also doesn’t necessarily stop a person from doing stupid shit bc of their feelings #its complicated #but yeah.#hope that all makes sense.

70 notes · View notes

jo-harrington · 2 months ago

Text

As Above, So Below - Chapter 10: Atonement

Previous Chapter: Chapter 9 - Deus in Absentia

Summary: With your powers slowly returning, you must venture back to the Upside Down to bring Eddie home. But, will you be facing this task alone?

Word Count: 9.7k

Pairing: Eddie Munson/Fem!Original Character (Written in 2nd Person POV - You/Your - No Use of Names of Physical Descriptors)

Warnings/Themes: Van Helsing Inspired, Kas!Eddie, Religious Themes, Criticism of Religion/Catholicism, Fate vs. Free Will, Death and Injury, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Discussion of the Upside Down, Resurrection, Supernatural Encounters, Grief, Angst, Disturbing Imagery, Heavy Religious Imagery and Implications, Biblical and Other Literary/Media References.

Note: Hey guys. Sorry for the long delay. But we ARE BACK and we're hurtling towards the end. Thank you to everyone for reading, for your patience. I really hope you enjoy this one. AND EXTRA THANK YOU to @undead-supernova for beta reading and giving me some advice on the ending of this chapter.

This series will not be for the faint of heart, nor is it something that was written with a general audience in mind. Please check the above warnings and ask yourself if you are in the correct headspace to proceed. I am happy to answer any questions via PM or Ask.

You can find my masterlist here.

Please do not interact if you are not 18+.

“Heaven might shine bright, but so do flames." -- Neal Shusterman, Everwild

November 1, 1987

Time was meaningless to you now.

Your mind, your being, and your consciousness split between mortality and the infinite. You knew and you didn't know, you cared and you didn't care. You were and you were not.

It was an odd thing to feel—or not feel—but it was easy to compartmentalize as you focused on your surroundings and the task at hand. The goal of finding Wayne and Eddie, saving them, and saving Hawkins was greater than any celestial destiny that you might've fulfilled; you could face that later, once Eddie was with you. You were not whole without him. Every fiber of you needed him and knew that you could do anything together. You just had to get to him first.

Still, as you followed Steve as he stepped from the garage and into the Harrington's house, you could feel the threshold of time turn to midnight and the beginning of a new day shifted intrinsically someplace in the back of your mind.

And it was jarring to experience for the first time.

Because it felt ominous, not hopeful. Another day was a fresh start, but it also meant eighty-six thousand chances for you to fail. And they moved towards you, one tick at a time.

Fragile time, fragile fate.

Falling, falling, falling off the cliffs edge of the past, of history. Each moment forever written in stone once it had passed. Unchangeable.

If you looked behind you, there was a vastness that you both could and couldn't comprehend. And ahead? The same vastness, into infinity, but ever-changing. Living, breathing. Until it wasn't.

The future meant death. The end of one second, then the next. The stoppage of all possibilities to make way for the forming of something concrete. Finite.

And as you took the step up into the Harrington's house behind Steve and time hurtled past you, you couldn't help but know that it didn't just feel like death.

It was death.

Promised in time, in the very near future, but not yet realized.

This day would pass and tomorrow would bring death, creeping closer every second. Shapeless and powerless, unpredictable and unknown until it was upon you, and then it would forever be etched into the endless stretch of the past. Forever changing every moment that followed it over the precipice.

If you kept walking into the future, it would come. And you could try your damndest but you wouldn't be able to stop it.

You closed the door to the garage behind you, leaving fate in the dark.

For now.

You didn't know what reaction you expected from the others at the revelation that Steve was alive, but it sure wasn't what you got.

An array of lackluster expressions met you as you stepped into the threshold of the crowded living room and announced your return. And Steve's. They ranged from indifference on some faces to relief on others—Nancy, Dustin, and Robin, specifically. It seemed they were all glad to see him alive. But it was lukewarm gladness, in your opinion.

Actually, no. Lukewarm relief might've been the overall reaction, but there was one person who reacted extremely. Mary Victoria, who had been standing by the window and looking out at the street, practically fainted when she saw him. Then she crossed the distance and broke down in great, heaving sobs until she was close enough to pull Steve into an embrace. He hugged her tightly to him, and whispered words of reassurance into her ear.

You were shocked that she was the only one, though.

"Can you blame us?" Dustin approached you when he'd noticed your confusion. "We've seen enough people come back from the dead in the past few years to make it the expectation." He listed them, counting them out of his fingers. Eleven, Hopper, Max, Billy, Eddie...the list went on and you had to mash a hand on the top of his head to get him to stop.

"Sure, I get it." You rolled your eyes. "I just guessed, to a regular person, resurrection isn't something to blink at."

"Are any of us regular people?"

He had a point, though. Thinking back to your own realization that Eddie was alive...there had been tears and shock, yes. But you had seen the dead rise before. There were no miracles that could alter your world view.

Especially not now.

And at that thought, you took a step forward to address the group.

"I'm sorry to cut this reunion short," you began.

Your eyes dragged over everyone gathered there, and you hesitated at the vitriol and cynicism in their gazes as they stared back at you. Could they not sense the new surge of divinity flowing in you? The immensity of power that was in the room with them? Although, you supposed, that was the whole point. The presence of God was quiet, unassuming; they would not sense it unless they believed. You would not tell them, could not tell them. Still, it was there nonetheless. But if there was one thing you knew about the residents of Hawkins, it was that they did not believe in you.

"But there's more to be done," you finally continued.

Several voices piped up, full of doubt, questioning you now. How were you able to bring Steve back when you'd just been powerless and dying? How could you expect them to fight when they were tired and just wanted to live? How could you expect them to keep going when they'd endured so much before?

And as you listened to them all and tried not to let their questions further feed your fury, you wondered how you could ask so much of them when they had been through so much?

How could you ask them to help you save the man who had contributed to their suffering in one way or another?

A little voice inside you though, maybe even Eddie's voice, wondered how you could decide not to when they'd also contributed to his?

"I'm going back into the Upside Down," you shouted, earning complete silence. "There's someone...something on the other side of that gate."

"Munson," someone hissed.

"No!" The tone of your own voice felt foreign to you. Powerful. Commanding. Jarring. But shut them up again, at least. "Something else. And it's taken Eddie, yes. Taken Wayne. From me. From us. But it's the reason this town continues to be terrorized. Vecna might've waged his war against Hawkins in the beginning, but this...thing is perpetuating it. I need to stop it, and put an end to this madness for good.

"And I'm sorry to do this, but I need to ask for your help. One last time."

You looked around at all of them, and in truth you didn't expect much. You expected more yelling, more blame and skepticism. But they must've sensed something from you that they hadn't before. Trepidation, perhaps? Maybe it was just the gravity of the situation that prevented them from biting back.

They remained silent. Resolutely silent.

Steve stepped forward at one point, like the leader he was, and tried to champion your cause. He pulled his hand from Mary Victoria's grip and he took a step towards you. Blocking you, almost, as though he was shielding you from the gazes of others. He placed both hands on his hips and spoke.

"We can't pick our battles," he started. "Whether you want to believe it or not, we've been in a war since the Upside Down first opened into our world and those creatures took someone. And each time someone was taken, each time someone died, each time the bridge between our worlds got larger, this war got bigger and bigger.

"Vecna crossed over, and we might have defeated him, but that wasn't the end of it. We're at the end. Right now. Whether you follow us or stay behind. It's out of our control. I thought that I could choose to do things my own way instead of the way they needed to be done. And look what that got me."

He gestured to the scar on his neck. "Now I know that I need to have a little faith that things are working exactly the way they need to be. And we can win this once and for all. So, what do you say?"

He looked around at everyone's faces, even to Mary Victoria who gave him a wan smile.

His words seemed to have fallen short, and you resigned yourself to going into this alone. Because, even if he seemed to willingly place himself at your side, you would not let him put his life on the line again.

But he wouldn't be alone, it seemed, because after he nodded in resignation and accepted that no one would join the two of you, Nancy Wheeler got to her feet.

The vocal reaction of the group, people whispering their disagreement with the decision, was overwhelming. Was she nuts? What would happen to her? To Holly? Nancy simply ignored them and after making sure her sister was safely tucked against Claudia's side, she made her way across the room and stood toe to toe with you.

"I'll help you," Nancy announced, loudly, and then pulled you into a hug. Her voice dropped as she whispered into your ear. "We might've had our differences...but it seems like every time we didn't put our faith in you, things just got worse. So, if I'm gonna die anyway, I might as well die fighting. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't," you whispered back, and then shot her a small, grateful smile as she pulled away. You looked at the others. "Ok, that's three of us...anyone else?"

"Well, if these dinguses are going," Robin sighed as she gestured to Nancy and Steve, and she got to her feet. "I guess I have to go too, don't I?"

"And me!" Dustin was next. Claudia's shrill voice pierced the air with an ear-splitting Dusty! "Come on, Mom! I've handled worse than this!" He spent a good few minutes trying to stop her from crying before he rejoined your little group at the entrance to the living room.

He looked at you with so much wisdom in his young eyes, and stated, "He sacrificed himself to make sure the bats didn't get me. I can't let him die this time. Not again."

You stood there, open to whatever fate had in store, as Steve and Dustin both teamed up and went through the crowd one by one, recruiting others to your cause. Most of them refused outright, like the Byers, namely Will. "I can't go there," he whispered, frightened. "Not again." Joyce tightened her arm around him, the last living piece of her family, as she refused as well. Truly, you couldn't blame either of them for their fear or hesitance.

Some didn't need to be coerced, like Lucas and Erica. They were excited to get back in the fight. Heroism ran deep within their veins, you could feel it. There was also a woman with kind, determined eyes and a familiar face looking back at you. You'd seen her at the Harringtons every now and again during the past weeks, but you never really crossed paths or interacted. She had always stayed silent, though, while the others jeered and judged.

She didn't need to introduce herself for you to know who she was. Not just because of your new power, but because you could see her son's face in her face. And you had seen her face in her son's memories; Anne McKinney. Patrick's mother.

She bravely stepped forward, and you gripped her hand tightly as she passed you, offering wordless understanding. She wasn’t doing this for you. She was doing it for him.

Patrick seemed to have someone to wait and fight for him to come home after all.

Some were moved simply by the involvement of others. Namely Scott Clark, who had been one of the most vocal in his opposition of your arrival and involvement, couldn't just stand by as others took the path of bravery. Or Sue Sinclair, whose eyes flashed with fear and tears as she approached you, but couldn't let her children go to war alone.

"It's a mother's job to keep her children safe." She nodded with determination. "And I don't think I have much to offer but prayers, but I'll still offer them nonetheless."

You couldn't help the smile that cracked at the corner of your mouth. "I think I have the prayer part handled, actually," you joked, something that could really only be understood by you and you alone.

"She can be our cleric, though!" Dustin piped up from beside you. "We've got a fighter, a barbarian, a monk, a druid, a ranger, a rogue, and a paladin. We need a cleric too. Hey, then can I be an artificer? If you give me a few hours, I can come up with some great weapons for all of us."

The group excitedly began talking over one another then, until one voice silenced you all.

"Do you have room in your party for a Zoomer?"

Everyone's head turned to find Max Mayfield standing. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she fidgeted beneath the weight of everyone's stares; even though she couldn't see them on her firsthand, she felt them.

You both ignored the exclamations and protests and you closed the distance between one another.

"You don't have to do this," you muttered to her.

"Why? Because I can't see, I can't help?" she snarked. "That's what everyone thought when Vecna attacked the first time. Turns out I was the key to victory anyway."

"Because you've already lost so much."

Max pressed her lips together, as though she was physically holding back the words she expected to say to rebut every excuse you could've possibly given.

Instead, she uncrossed her arms and held one hand out to you, palm facing upwards, towards heaven.

And you took it.

The tempest of negative emotions that you had felt the first time you'd entered her mind were missing. Not vanished entirely, but carefully placed in appropriate spots in her memory, in her consciousness. They took a backseat to the peace and newly formed sense of purpose that she had seemed to find.

She showed you community, family, strength, and determination. They'd been there all along, but tinged with negativity. Now, they were clear and unobstructed. Illuminated by hope.

Hope for her and...Billy?

"You know, there had been a time when we first came to Hawkins," she said softly, briefly interrupting the flow of her thoughts as they filtered into you. "That I thought I'd finally have a family. I'd have a...cool older brother and a dad who would be there for me in a way that my dad just couldn't be. And not only was that not what I got, but...I actually ended up with nothing. Or everything, I guess. I got a different kind of family than the one I originally wanted. And I was ok with that.

"But then I heard Billy was back." She hesitated. "And that something was wrong with him..."

You heard the phantom words echo in her mind. Words no one else was meant to hear but words she let you hear anyway.

Dear Billy...I don't know if you can even hear this… Ever since you left, everything's been a total disaster… You would still be here and everything would be right again… A real brother and sister…

I'm sorry.

"I know he's out there, somewhere," she whispered. "So I can't mess this up again. Maybe I can save him this time."

You felt a pang in your chest. Here was her chance to make things right. Just like you were trying to make things right again.

You certainly hoped you both could fulfill that wish.

You didn't know what made you do it.

But as everyone prepared for their journey into the Upside Down and got a few hours of rest before daybreak, you sat in the living room alone with your family bible resting on your lap.

It felt like an odd novelty, a contradiction now. You knew the truth, and still somehow had the understanding. Everything is real. Or nothing is. But, as you flipped through and saw choppy scrawl and ear-marked pages left behind for god-knows-how-long, you felt an even further understanding and acceptance come over you.

You felt the phantom fingers from years-long-since-passed fidget as they sought guidance. Your father and grandfather; other ancestors before them. It was even more meaningful when they ignored the printed passages and instead found knowledge left behind, different shades of ink underlining hand-scrawled phrases like "in nomine deum lachesat ac ianuam imbeat aperi."

Even your Nonna, whose attachment to this legacy was not by blood but by circumstance, had sought peace within the mysteries hidden between the covers of this book.

If you really tried hard enough, you could feel her with you now. Her spirit was seated beside you. And Eddie, your Eddie, sat on the other side. They didn't acknowledge the other's presence, but seemed content together. Two integral parts of your being. Their hands moved along with yours. Eddie didn't know shit about the bible, shy of stories you told him, but Nonna dutifully led you to her favorites.

"Aren't you tired?" came a voice from the threshold of the living room.

Your head snapped up and you were alone once again. No, not alone. Mary Victoria stood there, bare-legged, and in a Harrington Motors t-shirt. She looked disheveled. Not from any sexual activity, but simply from the evasion of sleep. Although, you had to admit that it was amusing to sense the arousal on her.

"A little bit of light reading?" she asked with an underlying sarcasm as she gestured towards the bible.

"I don't know if I was actually reading any of it," you told her truthfully. You ran your fingers over a bloodstain that saturated the corner of a page.

"Absorbing it?"

You snorted. "Something like that."

She took a few tentative steps and then joined you on the sofa. You realized as she sat down that you were in the same spots that you had been just a few days ago. When you'd woken up on death's doorstep and she had tended to you. A lot had changed in those few days, and somehow nothing had changed.

Well, the tension between the two of you was certainly new.

"I asked if you were tired," she muttered after a beat.

"For the first time in my life, I think I can say that I'm not tired." You paused. "Actually, it feels like I've just woken up."

"And how did you do that?" she asked and shook her head. "Not to be a doubting Thomas, but I think everyone was wondering how you managed to go from the brink of death to...you know, oooh, Miss Savior Pants, resurrecting Steve...in the blink of an eye."

"You know, I'm gonna have to ask the Order to change my title to that," you joked. "Miss Savior Pants. Officially anointed by Sister Mary Victoria herself."

Neither of you could keep the hard façade up for much longer, breaking down into silly little giggles.

The decades that the two of you had aged in the past few weeks, let alone your relatively short lives, suddenly regressed and you got to be the careless youths you should've been. Joking and snorting as you sat together on a couch at the crack of dawn after having stayed up all night.

Instead, as you came down from your highs, you both remembered that you didn't just stay up the whole night—you survived the night. Indeed, you'd been trying to survive the endless night that had taken over Hawkins. Mare's smile fell, then she became silent and solemn once again. She pressed her hands together, almost in prayer, and then looked down at them for a long time. You stayed silent, giving her the time she needed to work through her thoughts before she spoke again.

"This whole thing has been..." She groaned, the sound low in her throat as she tried to find the words, "...one identity crisis after another for me. Now, I don't even know how to help you, if I even can."

To say that you understood where she was coming from was the understatement of the century. Despite your sudden and immense metamorphosis, Mare had honestly experienced more change than you had in such a relatively short span of time. Through all of it, though, her trust that things would work out barely wavered. Only in the face of something extremely traumatic did she lose herself, and you knew how hard it was to find yourself after something like that. But here she was, questioning whether she could continue. Not whether she would.

"Do you want to help?" you asked softly.

She clenched her hands into fists now and looked at you with big, determined eyes. "Of course I do."

She paused again, and all of the vigor that just built up in her body faded once more.

"I'm just afraid."

If you were being completely honest with yourself, so were you. Even with the power of heaven and earth on your side, you could still make mistakes, you could still get people killed. You could still fail. Moreover, you figured that everyone who had hesitantly joined you, as well as the leagues who didn't, expected you to.

Mary Victoria had something you didn't have, though: she had your faith that she could do this. Do anything. Survive against all odds. Thrive.

And it wasn't much, but it was enough.

If she could do this, so could you.

You scooted closer and you placed your hands atop hers as you looked her in the eye. "At the risk of hearing the words 'I told you so' from someone who gets on my nerves," you said, thinking of one pesky angel. "Do not be afraid, Mary Victoria."

She nodded and mashed her lips together. You felt the swell of emotions rise within her as she closed her eyes. And, as her tears rolled down her cheeks, the two of you sat there like that, silent until you began to hear people stirring with the sunrise.

"Is that do not be afraid like a for I am with you? Or like do not be afraid because you'll bear the son of god kind of thing?" She cracked a smile and her previous nerves seemed to wash away. "Because I cannot have a kid right now. Or ever. Like no. Never. Not even a messiah."

"Unbelievable."

"Come on! It's a good joke!"

"Seriously, how did the nuns let you in?" You scoffed and pushed her away from you. "You are so—”

"Funny? It's because I'm funny. How many nuns have you met? Like really met? They are cool...most of the time. And let's be honest? You need comedic relief on this suicide mission you're about to lead us on."

"It's not a suicide mission." You rolled your eyes. "I'll protect you all." You paused and realized what she said, then smiled. "I'm about to lead us, huh?"

She opened her mouth to respond when the whole world shook.

It was a small tremble at first, barely noticeable. But then it got worse, and the furniture and light fixtures shifted. A rumble, a tremor.

An earthquake.

"Wake up, everyone wake up! Earthquake," Scott's voice echoed through the house. "Take cover."

Mary Victoria got to the ground, making sure to cover her head and neck.

You knew that you were supposed to take cover during an earthquake, but this? This was something different; a quake sure, but not quite of this earth. You were surprised that the others, who had been through something like this twice before, couldn't feel the similarities. Then again, this was the only shift of the earth that they had ever experienced. To them, this was the norm.

You, unfortunately, knew better. Because it was not what you felt exactly one lifetime—and a month—ago on the rocky terrain of the San Gabriel Valley. This wasn't a normal earthquake.

You got to your feet and ran for the door and then outside, to the end of the Harringtons' driveway. You watched as the world around you shook and the new light of day rose from the tops of the houses, from the edge of the horizon.

Sunlight...and acrid black smoke.

People had a tendency to call natural disasters "acts of God."

And, in a way, they were. If a god was responsible for the creation of the planet, the mechanisms of which it moved and lived and thrived, sure. Or, in terms of divine intervention, you supposed that yes, they could be called Acts of God as well. You'd witnessed it yourself at the beginning of October. Though, whether it was done by a God's hand or Gabriel's you couldn't know for sure. Despite the omniscience that sat in the back of your head, there were some things that remained a bit of a mystery to you. But you had a feeling that the knowledge would come in time.

This earthquake, for lack of an alternate term, was an Act of God, too.

The question remained: what god created this act? Because it certainly was not you, and you couldn’t exactly stop it either, even if you wanted to. And you most certainly wanted to.

For one, it never seemed to end. The tremors continued, unwavering and unyielding, shaking everyone and everything in Hawkins until your heads started to feel like they were full of jelly. Smoke continued to rise from the fissures that caused this world to touch another, but there was nothing else. No attacks of monsters, no crumbling of buildings, no fires or screams.

You began to wonder what sort of act the entity that could be considered a sort of God in the Upside Down was trying to commit.

Fear, certainly. A warning? Maybe. Probably.

What was its intention with this? For you, for Eddie, for Wayne? What was it doing? It took everything inside of you to focus on what you could control and not give into fear. You had to be above it.

"It gives us time to prepare," Dustin pointed out as he wrapped duct tape around the handle of a broom, securing a large kitchen knife to the end of it.

“Well, it’s only been an hour and I'm sick of it already," Mare grumbled and sent a scathing glare your way. "Oh Captain, my Captain, why don't we just go over there and get the Mind Flair—"

"Mind Flayer," a bevy of voices corrected in tandem.

"—to stop having a temper tantrum. We're already gonna go kick monster butt. Maybe we could expedite things. Instead of just touching the ground."

That's what you were doing, actually. You were kneeling at the end of the driveway and had been for the past hour, since the quake began, your palm pressed flat against the asphalt as you reached deep beneath Hawkins and tried to ascertain what the fuck was happening. And you could see why she, and probably everyone else in your adventuring party who had come outside, believed that you had lost your mind.

"Do you need us to get an accurate reading of the humidity in the air too?" she continued. “I think I saw a moisture-dry meter in the garage.”

“Can you cool it?” you snapped at her. “You’re worse than Dustin with the sarcasm.”

“Hey!”

“She‘s right, bud,” Nancy told him solemnly, earning a pout from the younger boy.

“I’m trying to figure out what’s going on,” you explained. “I’m not exactly able to tell what’s going on in the Upside Down, and I might not when we cross over either. But if I can get an idea of how it’s affecting our side, then maybe we can be more prepared.”

“And what do you feel, Zoltan the Great?” Max asked.

You hesitated and bit your lip. “You’re gonna think I’m stupid.”

“Who’s to say we don’t already think that?” Mare tossed back at you. “Come on, you have to agree this is all a little…much.”

You ran your hand over the asphalt again, then pulled away and rose to your full height. You stared at them all with as open and honest an expression as you could and said, “The earth is moving.”

As you expected, they all just stared at you with dumbfounded expressions. Scott, especially, had a bit of a condescending smile on his face as he said, “I don’t mean to sound rude but…that is what an earthquake is. The earth is shifting and moving.”

“See?! This is why I didn’t want to say anything.” You rolled your eyes. “Moving, but…not in a tectonic plate kind of way. It’s…turning. Ah!” You snapped your fingers and pointed at them all again. “And not in an earth’s rotation kind of way either. It’s kneading. Rolling.” You moved your hands over one another to mime the motion. “The gates are eating. Swallowing. Digesting.”

“Gross.” Erica wrinkled her nose. “Why?”

“That…is a good question.”

It seemed you would get your answer quicker than you thought, because a larger tremor struck and you all braced yourselves as best you could. It was bigger this time, cracking the pavement beneath you before dispersing outward. The street seemed to shatter so easily as the vibrations rippled through the earth, and you watched as it travelled further down the block until it reached the protruding, malformed edge of the gate’s elongated fissure. There the edges of the crack seemed to sink and collapse in on itself.

Just like it had when you tried to escape the Upside Down just a few days prior.

When Eddie had tried to close the gates to prevent you from crossing.

You felt a hateful realization fall upon you; the Upside Down wasn’t trying to stop someone from leaving, like Eddie had with you. It was trying to prevent you from getting back in, and taking him away by force.

“Shit!” you shouted. You didn’t hesitate before you took off in a sprint, leaving your companions behind in confusion. You looked over your shoulder and called out to them, “It’s trying to close the gates!”

You heard their cacophony of voices as they all began to scramble to their feet and spur to action. Weapons clattered, car doors slammed, but you kept running. And, fuck, you hated running but your feet were swift and true as they carried you forward, divine capabilities driving you despite the stitch forming in your side and your lungs screaming at you.

It really was bullshit that you still had to experience this type of shit even though you were a god now. Maybe, if you survived this, you’d try to figure out if there was a way to shed this fragile mortal frame. You could have an illusory body, still look like yourself, but not feel like dying at a brisk sprint.

You pushed yourself further, faster, as fast as you could. Reaching out to the fissure to will it to stay open, but it didn’t bend to your power. It wasn’t just closing, it was eating itself.

Eventually, Steve’s BMW and Nancy’s station wagon caught up to you and you jumped into the passenger’s seat of the latter.

“The town square,” you panted. “The cracks all converge there. It’s our only hope.”

As the landscape of Hawkins flew past you through the windows, you witnessed something you thought you never would: creatures of the Upside Down that had been lurking and hunting in and around Hawkins running in the sunlight—burning in the sunlight as they tried to follow the fissures and get themselves home. Those that weren't fast enough stumbled on weakened feet and collapsed as their way home was lost to them forever.

It was a dreadful feeling to watch them die as the car zoomed past, some omen that you would meet the same fate. And you worried that even if you had preternatural speed or wings that could fly as fast as Eddie could—glide on the air—you weren’t going to make it either.

So when you finally reached the town square, where this whole misadventure in Hawkins began, and Nancy skidded to a halt, you jumped out of the car with your heart in your throat.

You planted your feet firmly on the ground and dug as deep as you could, down to the very center of your still-healing-soul. You tried to use every ounce of power at your disposal, every bit of your training and experience, and every ounce of desperation that coursed through you to keep the final bit of the connection between this world and the Upside Down—between you and Eddie—open.

And it fought you. It tested every bit of your mettle, every particle of will power that you had. It bit and gnashed at you in a way that defied all earthly logic; wounds opened at the center of your palms as you held them out to the convergence point of the gates, blood blooming and spilling down your wrists and onto the ground as you forced the very essence of your life into preventing the gaping portal to close. As you begged the earth below you to hold on for just a little while longer, to fight and keep the parasitic presence of this other world until you had fulfilled your purpose.

But it was not enough. You were not enough. And with one final, massive quiver, the convergence between Hawkins and the Upside Down crumbled and closed.

You collapsed to your hands and knees with an anguished wail. You couldn't hold it in anymore, the anger and hatred and hopelessness. What use was hope when you had failed? You watched as your tears blurred your vision and fell to the ground, one droplet after another. First crystal clear, then tinged red with blood.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and soft words of comfort telling you it was okay. But you lashed out. It was not okay. You shouted the word no until your voice cracked with a sob.

"It's gone," you moaned, and you repeated it over and over weakly. "It's gone, he's gone. He's gone." You felt the void open in your chest as you felt the subtle, intrinsic shift of one world pulling away from the other. You could still feel it, feel the other half of your soul—the other half of Eddie's—in the great, growing distance. But it felt the same way it did when you'd left Hawkins the first time, the pain of the gap growing wider and wider.

You could've turned around then. You couldn't do anything, powers be damned, now.

The voices around you chattered about what to do next, if it was all over, but you couldn't be bothered to hear them. Instead you stayed, lost to hopelessness and sorrow as you basked in the feeling of your failure.

Actually, you could practically hear Gabriel's voice in your ear, telling you that you had a whole world to be responsible for now. Millions, billions of suffering voices. That was your goal now. One boy was not worth the world.

But he was. He was worth this world, tenfold, to you.

A whimper caught your attention, and you couldn't help but look up. There, just beyond the small gathering of your companions, was a small and pitiful body resting in the jaws of a larger, stronger one.

Lucy had found Cerberus. And from the looks of it, he wasn't doing good. He was limp in her grasp, panting and whining. Dying. Meanwhile, the splintercat stared at you with pleading eyes.

You pushed yourself back to your feet and crossed the distance to them, ignoring your friends' sounds of shock and fear when they saw Lucy's large, imposing form so close. You held out your arms and took the demodog, knees buckling from the spiritual weight he carried, if not the physical.

"Cerbie," you whispered as he weakly nuzzled his cone-shaped head into your shoulder. "No, no." It wasn't hard to figure out what was going on, what was wrong with him. He was of the Upside Down, just like the other creatures that had tried and failed to get to the gates on time. Cerberus, fortunately, had Lucy to help him. But it still wasn't enough.

You looked up at Lucy for help, for an answer, as if you might actually get one from her, but she had shrunk back down to her less-conspicuous form. She gently licked at the back of one paw, then looked at you with round, curious eyes.

Well? she seemed to say. I brought him here. It's your turn. Fix him.

You dropped to your knees helplessly and looked at Cerberus again, feeling his life slowly leach from his body as his world got further away.

"I don't know what to do," you whispered to him. "I don't know how to fix this. If you were a real dog..." How many times had you thought about that already? "We would go on walks, play fetch, right?

"Eddie would've liked that. We would've saved him, and he would've taken you...no, he wouldn't have taken you on runs. He's not a runner. But you would've gotten so many gas station hot dogs."

His stumpy tail wagged in weak excitement, and you could even feel the little piece of Eddie's personality imbued into the demodog react to the statement. Yes, that would've been the perfect outing for the two of them. And they'd have gotten a package of Twinkies for you.

In another life. A better life. Not this one.

"If I could...make you into a real dog, I would..." you trailed off.

Then you heard Gabriel's voice in your head again. Not admonishing you this time, no. He was guiding you.

God said, let the land create animals according to their own kind, and it was so. And God found that it was good.

There was a pang of inspiration, of hope in your heart; you didn't need to do things the same way the old guy in charge did it, but what was stopping you from creating something if you found it good?

It hadn't been twenty-four hours of you having this new power, this new identity yet, and you were so overwhelmed by it that you found yourself falling back on what you knew. And only what you knew instead of falling headfirst and embracing the great unknown vastness of possibility that your new power afforded you.

You looked down at your little friend, his suffering, then held a hand out over his muzzle.

"And God said to let it be so," you muttered softly. "And it was so."

You gently touched his mottled skin, closing your eyes as you reached out and poured yourself into him like you were so accustomed to. But instead of tapping into a power that was separate from your being, you let it flow directly from you. You were the source, you were almighty. And sweet, gentle Cerberus received all of the light and life and hope that this world, that you had to offer. It was so different and almost incompatible with the things he was made of. However, you let it knit together with him. You made him a part of this world.

When you opened your eyes, the little demodog was still in your arms, physically no different than he had been just moments ago. But there was something new about him now. Rather than being tied to the Upside Down, his lifeline was unchained.

He was changed, his pure spirit prevailing. He was free.

Lucy took a few steps forward, rose on her hind legs, and batted Cerbie's face with one of her soft paws. Cerberus stirred, then freed himself from your grasp. He tumbled to the ground clumsily and then righted himself.

It didn't take long before he was running around, barking his little roaring bark excitedly as he basked in his new strength. He wound himself around you and then sniffed at Lucy, who was annoyed by him once again, hot and cold as she was.

You turned your attention back to the others who stared in awe, having witnessed the whole spectacle, slack-jawed.

"So, uh..." You sniffed nervously and held your hands out. "Just another one of my new tricks, I suppose."

"Is that how you healed me?" Steve asked nervously, scratching the back of my neck. "Guess it looks a little different from the other side."

Some of them murmured about miracles, but it was cut short as the demodog changed from excited to curious and raced towards the group. Unsure of his intentions, they all flinched and shrank in on themselves. Luckily, Cerberus had no interest in them.

He was running towards the collapsed remnants of the gate.

He clawed at the ground, sniffling and whining, then turned towards you and barked a roar. He dug, as though he was trying to get to the portal as it got further and further away, as though he could sense it just beyond the dirt.

But it just wasn't so...

Or was it?

You curiously approached him and inspected the ground yourself; you still felt the distance ever-growing between this world and the Upside Down, but you had no way to access it. The door had been closed and the key thrown away.

Not only that, it was like the whole fucking house was gone. The door didn't exist.

The Upside Down was only able to touch this world because a door had been opened from this side. But then it kept opening, from one side or another, until now, when they seemed to be closed for good. But nothing was ever closed for good. Nothing was gone forever. If the entity that seemed to be a god in the Upside Down decided that the door that Vecna opened needed to be closed…

Couldn't you just create another one?

Wasn't that a conundrum just like Cerberus had been? His survival was impossible, until it wasn't. If you could do that, if you could save him, you could do anything.

You turned to your comrades and asked, "Are you guys ready? Like...really ready? Because this is it. This is the point of no return. I'll do my best to protect you, but I can't make any promises. And I won't blame anyone if you want to turn back now, but this is your last chance."

They all looked to one another, touched their respective weapons to make sure they were there, and then steeled themselves as they nodded their assent.

Eleven of them, ready to face certain death right alongside you.

You looked to the closed gate again, the scar in the ground where Vecna had enacted the first steps of his revenge. Where he tore both worlds apart to force them together so he could cross from the Upside Down to Hawkins.

And now you had to find it within yourself to do the same, but in reverse.

"I really hope this works," you muttered in a prayer. You paused and snorted, because it was funny, wasn't it? A prayer to who, if not to yourself. It tickled the back of your mind.

You thought about the passage in your family's bible, the string of Latin inscribed on the page and revisited, seemingly, countless times for one reason or another. You felt the texture beneath your fingers. Could hear the words echo in your ears.

In nomine deum lachesat ac ianuam imbeat aperi.

You dug your heels into the earth once again, but instead of drawing your power from it, this time you cast yourself out. You felt your own power course down deep into the plates, the mantle as it shifted and breathed right below you feet. The world was a living and breathing thing, given life from the divine. And you asked it, commanded it, to split itself open one more time.

You held your hands out and then clapped them together in front of you, the sound reverberating in the air, priming it.

"In the name of God," you spoke, softly but with so much strength and majesty that you could not be denied your request. "Open this door."

Everything shook again, the world shook. The already crumbling, battered town of Hawkins, Indiana seemed to prepare itself for one more assault. The ground below and sky above, the buildings, the trees, every molecule in the air itself, trembled as you pried your hands apart from one another. As you did, the fissure of the Gate began to split open.

It glowed from within, a divine and burning glow of heavenly fire, pulsing and powerful. It grew brighter and the gate grew wider the further you pulled your hands apart. You felt a knot form in your stomach, rising up and up through your chest and into your throat as you physically dragged the two worlds back together.

Lucy, back to her full Splinter Cat form, pounced towards the Gate as it opened and stood with her hackles raised. Cerberus barked and howled wildly. It was as though they were ready to jump into battle, ready to fight whatever might appear from the Gate.

But nothing ever did.

If you could only be so lucky that the Upside Down would acquiesce to your demands and deliver Eddie right to you.

Eddie had read a book to you, once. He enjoyed reading to you, but he had been insistent about this book specifically. Just so he could do the voices and everything. The Gunslinger, by Stephen King. It was a favorite, he said, and he was practically vibrating for a sequel.

Now, though, as you stared at the gate, one passage from the book rang in your head. The Gunslinger himself stared down fate, stared down imminent death for himself and the young boy Jake as they chased after the Man in Black. And Jake, resigned to his fate, told Roland to "go then, there are other worlds than these."

Much like Roland, you would go. This Gate would bring you to another world than your own, just as Jake said. It would lead you to imminent death for you and your friends if you weren't careful.

However, this wasn't just another step towards whatever fate had in store. It wasn't just a path that would bring you back to Eddie.

It was the pathway to Hell.

And you were all about to go and fight the Devil.

You didn't know what game the Entity of the Upside Down was playing...

Actually, that's exactly what it was. A game.

You realized it as soon as you crossed the threshold into the cursed alternate dimension.

"Woah," Lucas awed as he and the others followed behind you. "It's...it's like a dungeon."

"It is a dungeon," you muttered as you stared at the transformed landscape of the Upside Down.

If you thought that Eddie had imbued the Dungeon Master on the night you'd escaped this world, then you were mistaken. It was a mask, a farce, a ruse. The Entity was the mastermind here. And if you were going to try and fight for what belonged to you, it was going to give you the fight of your life.

The dimension had seemingly shrunk, its borders now conceivable at the edge of the horizon, but it no longer mirrored Hawkins. Actually, the only remnant of Hawkins was the looming silhouette of the Creel House at the edge of the horizon, half a world from where you and your party stood at the Gate. The rest of the world's slate was wiped clean; the town center, the buildings, the neighborhoods, the streets… They were gone, and in their place was a vast wasteland, not unlike the space that had beyond the mirrored Hawkins.

The nothing space, the void. A place of creation...

...and imprisonment.

But the Entity hadn't just wiped Hawkins away to leave an empty void in its place. It created facsimiles of various terrains, full of traps and pitfalls. There was a battleground populated by hoards of bats and dogs, demogorgons and vampires. They swarmed and fought, hungry and ready to attack anything that dared cross their paths.

It was a battle map, like one of the countless maps that Eddie had worked on for Hellfire Club.

You tried to stomach your worry, because if it was manipulating ideas from Eddie's head...did that actually mean that the Entity had gotten Eddie to side with it? Or was it using him somehow? Hurting him somehow?

Sensing your dread, both Lucy and Cerberus crept closer to you to keep your emotions in check. You gave a small smile and a grateful pet to both of them. If no one else had your back, at least they did.

They weren't the only ones, though; all of your companions seemed anxious and practically itchy as they observed the terrain before them.

"So, uh." Nancy took a few steps forward, shotgun in hand. "Do you have a plan or are we just going for maximum damage?"

Erica scoffed. "You can't roll damage if you don't roll for initiative first, and we left our dice at home." She shook her head. "There is no way we're gonna make it across all of that alive."

"Well, I can heal you guys as fast as you get hurt," you offered and dragged your eyes across all of their faces apologetically. "The downside is that you'll get hurt."

"Can you smite them all?" Mary Victoria questioned. "Or, at the very least, lend us temporary smiting powers so we could do it for you? No? Darn, I had to try."

"My power is limited here," you explained. "Even now with my strength back. This is not our world. It's like charging a battery with a potato."

"You actually can charge a battery with a potato," Scott chimed in, earning glares from the rest of your group. "You just need...to close the circuit. No need to be hostile."

"No, wait!" Dustin pushed ahead. "I think you're onto something Mr. Clarke. Closing the circuit. We just need to close the circuit." He turned on his heel and looked at everyone, then settled his gaze on you. "You have to close the circuit!"

"You know, saying it over and over doesn't help the rest of us understand," Robin said matter-of-factly.

"An explanation would be nice," you agreed.

Dustin took a deep breath and then began. "You can't just charge a battery with a potato. You need other elements that are conductive to close the circuit. Electrodes. A nail...a penny. There are chemical reactions, and then, boom, potato battery.

"I've been watching you. Your power comes from the earth. Fire and lightning and whatever. The earth. Our earth. That's raw power, baby. But here? The Upside Down is your potato. Useless. Foreign.

"But it could help you, if you had the right electrodes. What if we," he gestured around the group, "were your electrodes? We're a part of the earth, our earth, where you concentrate your power. We can help you have a bigger network, help you ground yourself here. Instead of trying to channel the Upside Down's power through you, you channel it through all of us. Not one lightning rod. A dozen lightning rods."

"So is it a lightning rod," Steve frowned, "or a potato?"

"It's a metaphor, Steve,” Dustin scoffed, "and it might work."

You nodded and let his words simmer in your mind. You tried to envision it, and the more you did, the more you thought about the reverse. You thought about the way that the creatures of the Upside Down were able to keep themselves alive on the other side. Your world was just as foreign to them as as this world was to you, but they had something to tie them together. To concentrate their power.

"The hive mind," you muttered. Several heads snapped your way at your words. You cleared your throat and smiled. "I like your idea, Dustin, and I think you're onto something. But...I wonder, do you think that's part of the reason that the creatures here have their hive mind? They're more powerful together, rather than apart. Especially when they cross over into our world."

"Oh, shit!" He snapped the fingers of one hand and pointed at you. "You might be onto something there."

"But how's that going to help us?" Nancy questioned. "We don't have a hive mind."

But you did...didn't you?

It had been tickling the back of your mind from the moment you stepped through the gate, the smallest little whisper of something. Of words. No, not words. Prayers. A constant little drone of thought, a constant presence, as Sue Sinclair did exactly as she promised and prayed for safe passage into this dreadful dimension, then protection from the creatures ahead.

Curiously, you started with Sue, just to find out if you could see the web that formed between them all. From Sue to Lucas and Erica, and from each of them to their friends. All of their souls intertwined in golden light, just beyond mortal sight. A web of hope and love and humanity. A different sort of connection than the creatures of the Upside Down had, but a connection nonetheless.

So, if you just focused on sharing the awareness of it with everyone...

Max gasped, and Robin and Lucas, who were standing closest to her, reached out and grabbed at her arms to see if she was alright. She ignored them, and instead muttered, "I can see it. I can see it all."

Her foggy eyes shifted, back and forth, trailing along what it was she saw—what it was you saw—as you began to broadcast through that intrinsic connection between you all. The others, confused, started to ask what she saw, until they began to see it as well. Those veins, those shapes of brilliant light. Not true sight, not really, but information. A hive mind of your own, connecting and protecting them all.

And, most importantly, fueling you. It closed the circuit, as Dustin called it, creating a way for you to stay strong in such a hostile place. You felt grounded in the Upside Down for the first time.

Moreover, you felt hope that this wouldn't all be in vain, you might actually succeed at your task. It was a hope that transcended into the others, and you could sense them all develop the drive and the courage to continue onwards. Their backs straightened, their grip on their weapons tightened.

And then, of course, Mary Victoria had to open her mouth to earn a laugh from the whole group.

"Thanks for the x-ray brain, professor Xavier," Mare quipped, hand on her hip. "Why the fuck didn't you do that from Day One?"

You ignored her and gestured onwards, into the dangerous terrain that awaited you.

Much like a game of Dungeons and Dragons, the trek into the Upside Down was slow until it wasn't.

Your entire group had been cautious as you left the safe haven right outside the Gate and ventured into the dangerous unknowns. Steve, Robin, Nancy, and Dustin all recalled the last time that they had crossed into this world. The last time they had fought in this world. They projected the feelings of dread that they had at familiar sounds and sights across the connected consciousness that you'd given them.

You tried to let a sense of calm cascade over them, but it seemed the alertness was an apt precursor as the first wave of creatures made their presence known.

Dustin was the first one to shout "close ranks" as he'd noticed a disturbance above. A veritable swarm of bats and vampires alike, with their teeth and claws already dripping with blood and sludge from the restless infighting they'd engaged in.

You pushed ahead of the group as they all ducked and huddled together, alongside Lucy who pounced from her hind legs to try and snatch one of the airborne creatures mid-flight. You tested out the tenuous connection that your group had amplified, and, instead of reaching into the earth, you reached into the sky.

You stared up at the churning, restless storm, letting its horrible beauty inspire you rather than power you. You closed your eyes and felt your own power build within, a charge stronger than any of the lightning that dared to flash in warning. You looked through your companions' eyes through the connection and saw each body that you would strike: dozens of bats, vampires with deformed faces of friends long-since-passed. The Upside Down was bastardizing their bodies, their memory.

And oh? What was that?

There was a sensation at the corner of your mind, something felt by Lucy and Cerberus. Cerberus, however, had a certain leg up on Lucy as his soul was split between the Hive Mind of the Upside Down and the Hive Mind you created. They both honed in elsewhere; while all eyes were on the sky, on the swarm descending, another attack was imminent. Behind you.

An ambush.

"Max?" You peeped an eye open and asked, despite the peril bearing down on you. "Have you seen Star Wars?"

"...yeah?" she answered nervously as the others tried to keep her shielded from the impending danger.

"What are you doing? This is not time for chit chat!" Lucas shouted.

"Your eyes can deceive you," you said pointedly and cast the vision you had gained from the connection to the party and to Cerberus. And you specifically showed her what you sensed beyond what their eyes could see. "Don't trust them."

You didn't flinch as you cast your power outward, a strike of pure light so foreign to this dark, dank world.

“Fear is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. We yield to it or we fight it, but we cannot meet it halfway.” -- Haunting of Hill House

Next Chapter: Amor Vicit Omnia COMING SOON (Not 6 months this time, I promise)

#aasb #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x oc #as above so below #eddie munson fic #kas!eddie #stranger things fic

26 notes · View notes