#likely outcoms: osdd

[bongwatershots]

[bonni]

I have a huge interest in plurality (not just in maladaptive plurality/dissociative disorders but also in theories of the mind that examine the ways in which plurality is biologically and socially adaptive and affects all of us to varying degrees) and if I could ethically go into psychiatric research I would love to research the comorbidity of autism and plurality.

every person I have ever met with DID has been autistic, and I think this makes a lot of sense because autistic people tend to have a less stable/integrated sense of identity and a lot of autistic people without dissociative disorders seem to still display a higher level of what you might call "adaptive plurality," i.e. the ability to have a fluid personality and take on different societal roles when needed, which in an individualistic capitalist society unfortunately leads to a lot of insecurity and discomfort, but is actually biologically advantageous and contributes to the theory that having autistic individuals in a given population is an adaptation rather than a disability. there is a lot of writing out there about how plurality is genuinely a good thing until it becomes a maladaptive coping mechanism for intense and chronic early childhood trauma, and I think autistic people without dissociative disorders are emblematic of this. on the other hand, a lot of autistic children are victims of intense early childhood abuse, and when this happens I think it would make sense if DID is a more likely outcome than it may be for an allistic individual.

but there's no research on this. there's so little research on plurality in general and a lot of the research that exists is split between multiple arbitrary diagnostic categories. a lot of "borderline" people, for example, are actually plural, but they're misdiagnosed because their plurality is considered unappealing. and the existence of OSDD-1 confuses things even further because the difference between DID and "OSDD" is oftentimes negligible and up to the discretion of the doctor diagnosing you. coincidentally, a lot of plural people are antipsych!

but yeah like. I think this is an incredibly important and overlooked topic and I also think it's why autistic people who aren't plural still see themselves and their experiences reflected in the plural community so much. I certainly do, to the point that I thought I was plural for a long time, but in retrospect my childhood trauma was not early or chronic enough to result in dissociative plurality. so instead of continuing to claim experiences that aren't mine, I've taken a vested interest in studying plurality and in supporting and understanding the plural people in my life. I wish I could contribute to a new body of research that is important to me, but I'm not going to become a psychiatric researcher, I just can't. maybe medical journalism would be a better career path for me if this is something I want to pursue.

[deargravity]

Akashi for 1, 3, 8, 12, 15, 18, 19, 21 for the character ask game please!

why would you give me the hardest one ever. do you hate me. be honest.

from this

why do you like or dislike this character?

okay, more importantly, why wouldn't i like him. i just think what i want to say has already been said so now i have no idea how to answer this. uh, i think liking akashi came as a pretty big surprise for me though in retrospect i shouldn't have been surprised - he's intelligent and tortured, and i love that combination in a character. like oh, you possess precognition and competence to predict / secure future outcomes but even then, no amount of striving will ever free you from your own fate? you've been running your whole life without knowing what from and where to because you've known no other option? you're revered by your peers and you want to care for them but your own needs disgust you so you'll never be able to expect reciprocity for all your love because you feel ashamed by your own wanting? you've lost touch with what it means to be a person because you've been forced to be a prodigy your whole life? you choke on your words because you've never taken a real breath and don't know how to be vulnerable in a way that doesn't defy the ideals you've grown up with? wonderful, i'm keeping you. also i think i just picked him up like a wet cat and decided to never let him go.

3. least favourite canon thing about this character?

erm, i think i speak for everyone when i say the scissors scene was really unnecessary. but i've never made a point of appreciating the writing in knb so this is unsurprising. like you can't give him the symptoms of already highly stigmatised disorders (osdd, npd) and then write him doing something like that. but it's a can of worms i really don't want to open. either ways, i have mixed feelings about the scene because on one hand, it could have been an excellent opening to discuss how life experiences can be so debilitating and mental illnesses / disorders have the capacity to damage world views and perceptions of morality. (everyone wants to be pro mental health until the disorders in question result in behaviours that defy conventional morality and disrupt the social order.) but this is a sports animanga so i really think the scene shouldn't have been there AT ALL because this is too big a discussion to be covered in a basketball manga. the mangaka bit off more than he could chew with this one, tbh, but trust me if i'd written knb i would have done this better.

he is just a kid, he should have been having sleepovers with his friends and eating ice cream after games to celebrate with his team. i will never hold it against him either because if kuroko "violence isn't the answer" tetsuya and the others didn't report him, they are all culpable. if the social order and morality of a situation is that important to someone and they refuse to stand up for it when it matters, they are equally to blame when things fall apart without consequence. but what do i know lol.

8. what's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

okay, i'll be honest i don't mingle in fandom spaces because i've realised that it genuinely affects me when my faves are mischaracterised or perceived differently from the way i do. i just stay out of fandom spaces and i'm not very active in interacting with other people unless we've been mutuals for a while and i trust their judgement. so i wouldn't know. i just know if anyone did anything with akashi that i despise i would delete my social media and disappear into a cave. and i'm being serious i don't think my ego could survive this.

but well, i don't like people calling him psychotic / psychopathic or writing him to fit their yandere fantasies (i have unfortunately stumbled upon too many of those things in the tags). he is just a kid, he was going through a tough time managing grief and abandonment and impossible standards. leave him alone. LEAVE HIM ALONE. ugh. i usually scroll, mute, or block (or all three), but this has happened with so many of my faves already and the way people perceive these traits also directly affects the way they treat others in real life who exhibit these traits and it's very often that malicious intent is directed to those who are simply a product of their circumstances rather than the system that created these issues / the responsible figures in their life that failed them. but that's too meta. whatever. you get my point.

12. what's a headcanon you have for this character?

i feel like i'm really alone in this and it's not a specific headcanon but i think akashi is clumsy and kind of messy by nature, he's just working full-time to make sure he's achieved the image of perfection everyone assumes of him. sure he's a basketball prodigy and trained equestrian and he's athletic etc. etc. but i think he can be awkward and messy at times. i just desperately don't want him to be perfect outside of those two things. i desperately want him to be a little awkward and messy.

he doesn't know how to eat stick ice cream because it drips everywhere and makes him nervous. his teeth hurt when he drinks / eats anything cold. when he's wearing full-sleeves he somehow always manages to stain his cuffs even when it doesn't seem humanly possible, but he's gotten good at being able to remove them. he has to rehearse an entire conversation in his head before he actually engages someone, but he's taken speech and elocution classes (courtesy of his dad) so it compensates for when he trips up to make it look natural and smooth. he's just always trying, trying, trying. and maybe for once he wants someone to call him out on all this effort and tell him, hey it's okay to screw up something or the other. but of course he never asks.

also he cries when he gets frustrated but never in front of other people. he spends a lot of energy on regulating himself when he has to be present for others so he doesn't process anything until he's on his own and it all hits him at once. and it can be the smallest of things. bus came late on a rainy day? he's in the back seat, holding back tears all the way to his destination. he raised his hand but he answered a question wrong in class? his face is burning and he has to excuse himself to the washroom to breathe or cry or both. he got 99 on a test? he cries because he's sick of feeling relief over accomplishments that should be bringing him joy. just like a few tears. i don't think he's every full-on bawled about anything. maybe one day he'll have the opportunity to do so without feeling ashamed of himself. praying for that

15. what's your favourite ship for this character?

i don't really think about ships that much unless it's in queerplatonic way, which then begs me to answer that i like every akashi ship where he's loved and treated as someone worth caring for rather than a symptom that needs to be managed.

i was a huge akakise fan for a while simply because they both have similar problems. hear me out on this. kise and akashi both struck me as people desperate for connection but kise has been made to doubt the realness of his connections (because of how deceiving and opportunistic people have been in trying to be his friend for status) and akashi has grown up believing he doesn't deserve any kind of connection unless he's fought and earned it (because he's only ever gotten praised by his dad, without ever believing he's loved). i think they'd make a nice pair, romantically or platonically or otherwise. i love akakise, and i will die on this hill and go down with this ship or whatever the kids these days say.

18. how about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

anything with rakuzan. do i have to elaborate. i love them so bad. i can't even talk about it. whatever akashi shares with the rest of rakuzan is so sacred and important to the community.

19. how about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

errrrrrrrrr... i don't know. i don't spend a lot of time thinking about things that i don't like.

maybe anything during teiko era with akashi and the rest of the team but it's not that i dislike it. i just think it is unfortunate that whether or not akashi had known they had faith in him, it wouldn't have exempted him from feeling abandoned. it was a very sad time for all of them, so i dislike everything about it.

21. if you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favourite thing to do when you're writing for this character? what's something you don't like?

i haven't written much for akashi tbh, or i haven't written as much as i'd like to but i have written exactly (1) character study fic for him and my favourite part was trying to bare his inner world to the readers through excessive use of metaphors. i love introspection a lot and i think it works well to reveal that akashi is just scared and vulnerable but overcompensating for that by affecting an air of neatness and certainty. i love that stuff. i would also love to explore his shame a lot more - i think shame is a constant companion for him, because he's ashamed of his own failings, he's ashamed of his own needs and he's ashamed of his own personhood, and i think he's also ashamed of the way he's turned out to be because of his dad, he may even be ashamed of his dad and his family name, and then he might be ashamed of feeling ashamed. i think if i ever write him again the cycle of shame will take the front lines. so we will see

if you've made it this far, thank you for reading. i hope you liked watching me be crazy.

[transpanda-1]

Is there any way to parse the difference between DID and something like maladaptive/immersive day dreaming?

I guess I'm kinda...questioning ish? I feel like I have a coherent sense of self but like its...blank or like clay.

I learned about Internal Family Systems Therapy a while back and reading into it really resonated with me and how I tend to talk to myself and see myself in parts. Ordinarily there is like enough of a difference between my sense of self and parts that like I can maintain myself but lately it's just kinda breaking down a bit and eroding, like sometimes "me" is just a set of behaviors I've learned to mask.

But if I lean into it far the other way and treat the parts as alters it feels so...hollow? Like they aren't that much diffrent than me. Neither outcome feels right and I worry it's just me getting immersed in my own imagination.

Whats the difference between a daydreamer that talks to themselves and somone with internal alters?

🧵Hello anon! Apologies for the delay on our response.

This is unfortunately a tough answer. To be honest, the only one who can fully determine if you're plural or not is you. There are certainly some people who are singlets who daydream a lot, and the same for systems as well.

We can do the "Thank you for existing test" if you manage to identify any names that pop out to you?

We relate to the "alters so much like you" sentiment. We're an OSDD median system, so it just feels like we "transform" into alters that aren't that different from the rest of us personality wise. A part of our journey with plurality has been learning to accept that we're all a bit alike, considering we have so much shared experience and memory.

One thing we will say that helps is giving yourself (or selves) an environment where you can test this out! Try out being plural around a friend or simply someone you can trust with this info, it may help you more than you'd think!

And regardless if you turn out plural or singlet, thank you for existing!!!

[anti-endo-haven]

So fucking sick of the treatment of DID (and by extension DDNOS/OSDD/P-DID) as some subjective label you can just identify your way into. Like no bruh it’s a mental disorder it’s meant to describe an objective set of symptoms 💀 “respect endos’ identities” my brother I will do no such thing 💀💀💀 it’s not an identity label or a choice it’s a mf mental disorder -💜

I think that’s why I hate phrases like “questioning system” even though the process it describes makes sense. Newly discovered systems definitely second-guess and question a lot. But it just sounds a lot like a queer label when you say it like that. -💝

Endos don't respect systems so I don't see why they deserve respect back. It's not a given, it's earned. And for a community to treat a mental disorder like a gender identity, they don't deserve respect, frankly.

It cannot happen without trauma, trauma is the leading cause for it to form. A survival mechanism the brain thinks is the best outcome to literally survive is not some "fun" and "quirky" "friends in my head" thing. Alters are there to help because there is no identity, it's been fractured.

Endos don't deserve respect unless they can give it in turn, and I do not see that happening with all the harassing they do as a community.

[ghost-of-a-system]

as someone who is autistic and currently questioning my own systemhood, i relate so much to what youve said in your comics and posts. i still dont know for sure if i actually am a system or just a dissociative person with a loose identity and a mental illness (lol), but especially since i find it so hard to relate to most of the "popular" experiences, seeing someone talk about stuff that i've (we've?) gone through is just. so validating. thank you for sharing your experiences

i'm very glad you've been able to relate to or find validation in any of the experiences we share about! thank you for your kind words. 🤍

it's definitely hard to try to figure stuff out when a lot of the easily accessible resources often focus on these more common experiences—that's the reason it took us so many years to realize we were a system. hell, we didn't even know what OSDD-1b was until late 2021! but it seems like more different experiences are being shared now rather than they were 5-7 years ago haha.

we wish you luck with your questioning, whatever the outcome is!

[lovecoreclownz-archive]

Hello DID/OSDD community! I would like to propose a term to describe a form of abuse that I don't think I've actually seen addressed???

I'm referring to this as "Split-Baiting"

Split baiting is used to describe the act of outside forces deliberately persuading the outcome of a split.

This can be with suggestive splitting "oh dude you guys would so split [Insert person]" or "omg haha wouldn't it be so funny if you split so and so?" And "you should split [guy]"

It's basically a persuasion tactic and a form of abuse that I've not seen addressed. It goes beyond the lighthearted jokes between friend groups, it's more or less trying to intentionally influence and/or force a specific introject to split.

ENDOS DNI THIS IS NOT A TERM FOR YOU SLASH SERIOUS

[jrwi-most-nd]

Round 2 Poll:

Pictures and propaganda are under the cut!

William Wisp (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, Cotard's Syndrome, AVPD, PTSD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder, OSDD-1b/Plurality, and BPD)

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t have massive anxiety ~ Anxiety

I mean his whole thing is that he is literally dead and alive at the same time. One of the first things introduced about him is how quickly he can make himself go invisible/seem like he doesn’t exist. The autism is just because he’s silly :3 ~ Autism and Cotard’s Syndrome

Just like. Look into his eyes and you'll know. But also don't he's autistic how dare you ~ Autism and Anxiety

- Deep-rooted low self esteem. He’s always felt weird and different, sees himself as inherently wrong, a fuck up and a disappointment. He struggles to even see himself as a person, especially when he was dead. He puts his friends on a pedestal (especially Dakota) and sees himself as someone way beneath them.  - Relatively okay with maintaining some surface level relationships but struggles with expressing his deeper feelings or talking about his past. Always vague and incredibly apologetic, quick to brush past it whenever it comes up.  - Very self-conscious and ashamed of his powers, especially early on. He asks people to look away when he goes into spirit form, and only does it in extreme circumstances. Only comfortable when he’s in the purple morph suit, where he feels like he can be seen as a different person. - When Dakota gives him his heart he immediately feels like he has to dedicate his whole life to making it up to him (literally gets a new complication bc of that). Feels undeserving of kindness or help from others.   - Quick to give up when he isn’t absolutely certain of an outcome. Extreme reluctance to take risks, (avoiding using his powers because he doesn’t trust himself to control them, running and hiding during fights) ~ AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder)

Well its been a while since i spedrun pd but what ive picked up is; They wear alot of layers which could be a texture thing or an unbalance to coldness and warmness and that bitch is definitely queer which is more common for autistic/adhd folks since they tend to be less reliant on social norms and thus more open about their sexuality and gender! Another think is in both the designs his hair only goes does to his neck i have autism and my hair HAS to be a specific length or like texture issues and shit and i know in the one shot between season 1 and 2 his hair is different but i refuse to believe that >:( anyway thats all i picked up i probably can think of alot more but these were a few off the top of my head! (i cant find much for the delusional disorder since its only small details but let me hc jeeze >:() ~ Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, and Delusional Disorder

theres one specific monologue that makes me claw at the fences but i cant find it right now. Just know its true because i know everything and i said so ~ OSDD-1b

Rolan Deep (Blood in the Bayou)

(Submitted for PTSD, OCD, Tic disorder and generally neurodivergent)

I’ve only listened to the first episode of BITB but GOODNESS the neurodivergentness this man radiates is ASTOUNDING. he totally has flashbacks to the bodies in the bayou incident or whatever and the fact it got so bad he moved TO THE OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY says a lot. also I love him.  ~ Neurodivergent

[pluraladvice]

So like. I've suspected I have DID for a while but. I feel like with all the research I've done and having my ex try to help me...figure out what's going on in my head, I would've been able to know by now but I really am lost. I feel like I might. There are things that would make sense if I did. But I'm seeing no evidence in the current times to support it.

Let's not forget that DID is not the only dissociative disorder nor the only disorder that can be associated to a system. There is also OSDD and the ICD-11 recognizes P-DID even tho the DSM does not and honestly the ICD is far better a source to look at than DSM. Even though you may have put a lot of research into DID, have you put that same level of research into OSDD 1a and b? Into P-DID? You also do not have to have DID or any disorder at all to have a system or be plural. You may simply suffer with C-PTSD and also have a system in some other form or fashion. Doing research means exhausting all possible outcomes before coming to a conclusion and DID is only a small portion of a much larger scale of things.

[pupbi]

Hi -may I ask about the endo thing in your dni? I didn't know what it was before I saw a post of yours and since I'm not a system or a doctor or anything I don't know what the issue is (the info I found basically just said they form on their own?) I've tried to be supportive of systems as best I could given I'm not one, so I guess technically right now I'm neutral just because I don't understand what the problem is. Obv I'll listen to a system before a rando source. (Also wanted to ask if it's ok to interact if I don't have an agere sideblog, since mine is all mixed up there's stuff that may not be suitable for small children but it's all tagged. I'm a traumagenic age regressor and anything related to that is completely sfw)

(This post contains syscourse)

Explanation is below the cut since it's a lot + I typically wouldn't bring discourse to my blog, and as long as your blog isn't primarily nsfw/kink we don't mind interaction. I want to apologize in advance if this seems "too long" or mashed together

In short, systems are the result of repetitive childhood trauma, being a system is not a normal brain thing it can't "just happen" The process of the brain forming dissociated states is a last resort decision, a child was traumatized to the point the brain could not handle it and did not think it would survive on its own.

A breakdown of Structural Dissociation & how systems form:

Structural Dissociation is the assumption that no one is born with a fully integrated personality. Instead, children operate based off of a collection of different ego states that handle their different needs- feeding, attachment to a caregiver, exploring the world around them. Over time, these separate ego states naturally integrate into one singular personality, usually by ages 6-9, this is what causes non-systems/singlets, this is the expected outcome. Systems form when childhood trauma disrupts the process and the different ego states are left unable to merge with each other due to conflicting needs, traumatic memories, or learned action paths or responses to trauma. If systems could just "spontaneously form" without trauma, this origin would be widely known from all the years of research that has been poured into DiD/OSDD. (Taken from here)

You can also read about tertiary structural dissociation (DID) here

And secondary (OSDD) here

The endogenic community itself is a cesspool of misinformation, stolen terms from RAMCOA survivors, cultural appropriation, racism, harmful stereotypes, and just in general, toxic.

Misinfo, harmful stereotypes, toxicity (This is our experience from being in endo spaces) :

Spreading the idea that you can develop a trauma-formed dissociative disorder, without having trauma. This is harmful to those who have did/osdd, as we are an already stigmatized group under the guise that we're "possessed" and have an evil alters that'll gonna murder you (thank you Split /s) if I were to start saying something like "I have (C-)PTSD but have never experienced a traumatic event ever! You can have (C-)PTSD without trauma" that would be horrible

The idea that alters can "die" or that fusion/final fusion is equivalent to "alter death".

We've seen discussions of "who's trauma was worse" when traumagenic systems talk about their trauma

I've seen endos encourage systems to NOT go through with final fusion (I believe every system has their own right to decide what their long term goal is, whether it be final fusion or managing their life with did/osdd/udd, but actively discouraging final fusion is not ok imo)

Saying that system accountability is a bad thing. Holding your alters responsible for their actions is not a negative thing.

RAMCOA stolen terms-

Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse (RAMCOA) which you can read about here, endos have taken terms from RAMCOA survivors and twisted the actual meaning of the terms, here's some of them with their actual definition:

System hopping: moving from one side-system to another. (Not from one singlur system to another)

Side-system: a "system" that is seperate from the main one.

System reset: when abusers force dormancy in the majority of alters.

Shell alter: a fragment alter who's purpose is to mask the current fronter so that detecting switches becomes more difficult

(This was from our time spent in RAMCOA friendly spaces and talking with survivors)

Cultural appropriation/racism

Within the endogenic community are (western) tulpa "systems", tulpas are intentionally created by imagining a person into the mind and treating them as a real entity. Western Tulpamancy is a bastardization of Tibitian Buddhism. "Tulpa" is a term that comes from Tibetan and Indian Buddhism.

Alter race, "It is never alright to claim to be a race that the body is not. One can be an introject of a person of colour, or one can look a certain way in the inner world (have darker or lighter skin tone) but race is so much more complex than appearance alone. For us POC, race goes well beyond how we look. Our race is also defined by how other people discriminate against us for our heritage and how our family has raised us in our traditions. A white person cannot claim to have these experiences of discrimination and tradition which define a POC. One cannot claim to be a POC alter in a white body because they simply do not have the experiences of one. To claim to be a POC despite lacking these experiences is simply rude. Race is also defined by how others treat you, and in being part of a white system, one lacks the [discrimination] that comes with being of colour. Your understanding of a POC's race is that—an outsider’s understanding of a closed group. Being POC changes how we perceive the world and how the world perceives us, and a white person just isn’t capable of understanding these differences in perception because they are experiences which are exclusive to POC. This also applies to POC claiming alters from other POC groups. A Korean system is a Korean system and cannot have Arabic alters because they are still an outsider to that culture. Just as a white system can’t claim POC alters, a POC system cannot claim alters of a culture they’re not bodily part of. It also applies to introjects: no matter an introject’s source, that introject is going to be the same race and ethnicity as the system and body. You cannot claim to be a different race or ethnicity through your interpretation of a piece of media. While your gender can be different from your body’s, your race cannot, because unlike race you self-identify with your gender. Race and ethnicity is assigned to you by the world around you based on your physical body at birth." (This explanation was taken from here [yes, its a carrd] as they explained it better than I could)

Other

I couldn't decide where these statements could go so they're just on their own

Not remembering your trauma is something entirely different from claiming systemhood without trauma

"You can be a system without having did/osdd, they're not the same" I have yet to see any (real) sources on that, it's possible to not meet the diagnostic criteria for DiD/OSDD, but systemhood outside of that? Still, not credible sources

I very often hear "but the DSM doesnt have trauma in the diagnostic criteria, this means systems dont have to have trauma to form!" The DSM doesn't have "trauma" as a diagnostic criteria because they would need to be 100% sure that this happens, which means they would have traumatize children to be 100% sure if childhood trauma is the only cause. I shouldn't have to say this, but that's unethical (here is a PDF link to the full DSM5)

Here's soms more links about the link between childhood trauma and DiD/OSDD, as well as anything else I mentioned in here that I just couldn't find an appropriate place to put

NAMI

DID Research

NCBI

APA

McLean

Mayo Clinic

AAMFT

Being a system is a disorder, not a hobby, its not fun, it's not an identity/label that you can just slap on like with gender or pronouns.

Endos & their supporters dont even touch this bc I'm not going to bring any further discourse to my blog, respect our boundaries

[liongoatsnake]

Hi!! Y’all have been in the plural community a long time, right? We got an Anon in our ask box claiming some bullshit about endos being similar to kff, I was planning on disputing it by showing how endogenic systems have always been part of the community, but I realized I don’t have any sources saved and search function is broken. If you’ve got the time, would you be able to help? -Fae

Actually, one project of ours, currently on hiatus but hopefully going to start working on it again in the future, was to find and create a timeline of examples from within the plural community over the years of mentions of those who were in the community but did not attribute their existence to being caused by trauma and/or those who do not attribute their existence to DID/OSDD/DDNOS, or MPD. (Also, as a system who first found the community in the mid 2000s, yes people who we would call today, endogenic, existed within "multiple" and "plural" spaces. So we can personally attest to their existence via personal antidote and eyewitness that far at least. Anyway.)

Below is what we have collected thus bar, but it is most certainly not an exhaustive list. (Please forgive any formatting errors we missed, we copy/pasted our current WIP examples directly from our word document. We tired to catch any grievous problems, but we're not positive we caught them all.)

2015: An update and revision to the article "Divisions in Plurality, 3.0," written by Kerry Dawkins for the Ex Uno Plure website was published. Kerry Dawkins notes how the current state of the plural community, stating that the "turf wars" have increased in pitch but changed. One of the categories is called "Endogenic (‘natural’) plurals and soulbonders" and another is called "tulpamancers."

Dawkins, Kerry. "Divisions in Plurality, 3.0," Ex Uno Plure, 2015, http://www.exunoplures.org/main/articles/div3/ .

2008: The Livejournal community called Multiplicity was created on the 23rd of December 2000. Archives only go back to December 2012, but we personally recall the profile and About section for the community being the exact same as far back as at least 2008. It's About section states, " We accept members who subscribe to various models of multiplicity, whether they are considered 'traditional' or not. [...] Unlike some other communities related to multiplicity, this community does not concentrate on the Sybil-like, trauma-split/ dissociation model of MPD or DID. [...] Nevertheless, those who do experience MPD or DID are as welcome to post here as those who do not. [...]You will find that many people on this community self-identify as multiple without having a psychiatric diagnosis. They may speak of being "healthy multiples," or of being multiple without having MPD or DID. [...] Again, this community is not solely for the non-disordered, functional, healthy-multiplicity model, it is for everybody. The above links are provided for people who aren't familiar with the ideas presented, not because people who don't fit that description aren't welcome."

"Multiplicity," Livejournal. https://archive.ph/LXjI

2007-October-?: On the website, Pavilion: Voices of Plurality in Action in the page titled, "Terminology" several references are made to multiple systems whose existence is not connected to trauma:

"Natural Multiples - Multiples whose system came about as a natural part of their development, not as an outcome of abuse or trauma. Some natural multiples believe there may be a neurological predisposition involved, but there simply hasn't been enough scientific study to say anything for certain. (First heard the term and the concept from a psychiatrist correspondent.)"

"Walk-in - A person in a multiple system which came from outside the body. Often otherkin in a system are walk-ins."

"Terminology," Pavilion: Voices of Plurality in Action. https://web.archive.org/web/20041025170325/http://www.karitas.net/pavilion/glossary.html

2007: An article titled, "Divisions in Plurality, 1.0" was written by Kerry Dawkins for the Ex Uno Plure website. In the article Kerry describes the make-up of the plural community at the time, noting there "seem to be three ‘camps’ – the MPD/DID camp, the natural multiples’ camp and the soulbonders’ camp." Throughout the article the word "system" is used for the different kinds of plurality regardless of origin, for example using the term "soulbonding systems."

Dawkins, Kerry. "Divisions in Plurality, 1.0," Ex Uno Plure, 2007, https://web.archive.org/web/20150306082026/http://www.exunoplures.org/main/articles/divisions-in-plurality-1-0/ .

2002-February: At least as early as February 2002, the personal website of The Shire included many mentions of multiples who do not consider their multiplicity a disorder and that multiples can occur outside of trauma. They note that they were diagnosed with MPD in the past but have since "totally abandoned the pathology of MPD, and now consider [themselves] simply multiple."

In an article called "Terminology," they define the use of the word "system" to describe an organized multiple and that, though they do not use the word system due to not feeling organized, others multiples do. They also define MPD/DID and while doing so state their belief that not all multiplicity is inherently disordered.

In the article, "We do not have Multiple Personality Disorder" and "Why We Reject the Label of MPD" they detail why they feel they reject their MPD diagnosis but not their multiplicity.  

In the article, "Shire's Natural Multiplicity," "For me, natural multiplicity means that the multiple is not formed or created by abuse or trauma. When we think of natural multiplicity in relation to the people existing regardless of abuse happening, it would seem we are a natural multiple. For we all existed before the abuse, we were not born from acts of trauma. Our lives were forever changed by it, but our lives existed before its occurrence. [...] My definition of natural multiplicity is that the people would exist regardless of abuse, rather than there having to be no abuse in the multiples life. [...] I believe that many have placed the idea of superiority on the concept of natural multiplicity. But this, at least for us isn't the case. It is simply a discussion of origins. The idea, and fight for acceptance that multiplicity isn't linked solely to abuse. It is not about being better than, or more empowered than. "

  The Shire. "Multiplicity," Those That Walk, https://web.archive.org/web/20020205192343/http://thosethatwalk.tripod.com/multiple.html

  The Shire. "Terminology," Those That Walk, https://web.archive.org/web/20020331171032/http://thosethatwalk.tripod.com/terminology.html

  The Shire. "Shire's Natural Multiplicity," Those That Walk, https://web.archive.org/web/20020323205622/http://thosethatwalk.tripod.com/natural.html

2001-December-?: On a website called Alternative Net, which lists information of various groups, a section existed called. "Multiple." The term "multiple system" is used in a short list of terms related to being multiple. It is used in connection with describing the state of an "actual situation of hosting" which is described as "a Situation when two or more spirits/beings inhabit and live in one body, either temporarily or permanently." Neither Multiple Personality Disorder or Dissociative Identity Disorder is even mentioned. The experience is described as spiritual and relating to spirits and mentions of it being related to childhood trauma is not mentioned.

   "Multiple," Alternative Net, December 2001. https://web.archive.org/web/20020427004823/https://www.angelfire.com/weird/alternativenet/anethost2.html

  "~Basic facts and misconceptions~," Alternative Net, December 2001. https://web.archive.org/web/20020917193348/http://www.angelfire.com/weird/alternativenet/anethost3.html

2001-May-?: On Dark Personalities on an essay titled, "Terminology" that is at least as old as the 19th of May 2001, several terms make references to origins unrelated to trauma and in connection with terms like multiple and system. These include:

" Natural Multiples - Multiples which developed naturally without being created by abuse and/or trauma."

" Possession - When the body is controlled by some entity or person who did not originate in the body. Often seen as demons, these walk-ins are frequently just people within the multiple system who are unwanted - either by someone in the multiple system itself, or by outsiders."

" System - An alternate term for a multiple. The following are also alternates to the term multiple: tribe, household, group, collective, house, clan."

"Walk-in - A person in a multiple system which came from outside the body. This might be the result of channelling, possession, or unexplained phenomena. Often otherkin in a system are walk-ins."

  "Terminology," Dark Personalities, 2001.  https://web.archive.org/web/20010519115202/http://darkpersonalities.com/terminology.htm

2001-May-?: The Multiple Code was created and was hosted at the web-address http://disenchantedforest.com/code/ . The Multiple Code was listed as Beta V1. The Multiple Code was created by The Consortium. The Multiple Code (also called the MultiCode or MuC) was one of many "codes" that were being created by various communities online as a means of communicating info using a series of letters, numbers, and symbols in a line of yet with different sets meaning different things. Code sections included number of members, genders, species, ages, origins, co-consciousness status, and more. In the introduction to the code the word "multiple" and "system" was used.

Under "Origins" (meaning "How did the people of your system come to share the body?") the possibilities included: "Splits," "Walk-ins," "Reincarnation," "Channeled," "Interface (body is an interface between two worlds)," and "Natural (just made that way!)." The section also included the note that "If you've come together in a variety of ways, you can show that with backslashes."  

  Multiple Code. https://web.archive.org/web/20010613184657/http://disenchantedforest.com/code/.

2000-December-?: A self-described system's personal website, Multiplcity.ca makes several references to systems that fall outside the diagnosis of DID or outside of trauma.

In an essay titled, "The Empowered Multiple," it is stated, "We believe that multiplicity is a natural process - whether a process in response to something like trauma or not is not something that we are prepared to debate at this time." Later, they also state, "Empowered multiples do not make up memories or trauma in order to explain either the multiplicity or individuals within their systems. However, they do not reject system members' voices if those inform them of trauma."

As part of an FAQ the question, "What made you that way?" is answered by first stating that the general theory  is that to become multiple one must suffer trauma but at the end states, "There are other views of how multiplicity develops, or rather, that it is present in some people starting from birth. One start to examining this point of view is the Dark Personalities site."

Teresa and JJ. "The Empowered Multiple," Multiplcity.ca, December 2000. https://web.archive.org/web/20010412133123/http://www.multiplicity.ca/essays/empowered.php

Teresa and JJ. "FAQ: What made you that way?" Multiplcity.ca,   https://web.archive.org/web/20010423073221/http://www.multiplicity.ca/faq/cause.php .

2000-September-?: On the website, Dark Personalities, in an essay titled, "Fighting Common Misconceptions of Multiplicity," (that least existed by 29 September 2000 but may be older than that) it is stated that:

"Larry has mentioned on his page that the vast numbers in a multiple system do not indicate that that multiple was abused in unusual and horrific ways. The official stance of the Anachronic Army is that multiplicity is the natural state of all people, and that as people get older most people lose touch with the ability to think creatively. People start taking the word of society and the media of "how it really is" and what can and cannot be.

There are other multiples, such as Astraea's Household which believe that multiplicity is natural and something some people are born into, like being left-handed. Such opinions are unpopular since it challenges what is said by the media and the majority of doctors and therapists. Why is this?

Therapy and all beliefs about multiplicity being a disorder are based on the notion that it is caused by child abuse. We are not denying that child abuse occurs. We are pointing out that there are flaws in this belief. You do not go into an experiment with your conclusion already written. You may start with a hypothesis and see if the results lead to the conclusion you expect. Every multiple is different.

I hate to imply that every multiple is an "experiment", but at the same token, no multiple is created in the same way or set up the same. (actually, you can't go to either extreme... saying all multiples are or are not created by something specific.) You cannot accurately say that all multiples are created by abuse simply because the textbooks say so. Such a belief negates individuality and ignores that all situations and people are different. When you base your information solely on hearsay and secondhand information, you are likely to be misinformed. It is not a demonstration of a lack of intelligence. It is more a demonstration of how people are not always objective in their thinking. "

Fighting Common Misconceptions of Multiplicity," Dark Personalities. https://web.archive.org/web/20001017182832/http://www.darkpersonalities.com/logic.htm

2000-September-?: Also on the website, Dark Personalities, in an essay titled, "The Empowered – A New Brand of Multiple" (that least existed by 29 September 2000 but may be older than that) it is stated that:

"Empowered multiples know that life is not always a safe place, and hence they protect their own people in their own systems and expect other multiples to do the same! [...] There is no cure for being a multiple...it is a state of being, and just as natural as being left-handed. They often introduce themselves WITHOUT the ridiculous label of MPD/DID (which is outdated and explained from the perspective of people who have never been multiples and will never understand what a multiple can or cannot do.) by saying. "We are a multiple. Plain and simple. It isn't because we were abused as kids... that is a separate issue entirely which some, but not all multiples have experienced. We are people, not identities, alters, fragments or 'parts'. We are not ashamed of who we are, because we are multiple and proud!"

Sharon, "The Empowered – A New Brand of Multiple" Dark Personalities. https://web.archive.org/web/20001210151300/http://www.darkpersonalities.com/empowered.htm

1999-May-?: On the welcome page of the personal website, House of the Moon, comments are made about systems, regardless of trauma, rejecting the stance that their multiplicity is inherently a disorder:  

"Greetings and welcome to the House of the Moon! This is the collective title we have chosen to incorporate our entire system. [...] As if you couldn't tell yet, we are a we. However, we share a single body. [...] (Many multiples prefer the term "condition" or "gift" over the term disorder.) To make things even tricker, dissociation is a continuum, and many people who are multiple don't fall into the so-called textbook case version of multiplicity, which is the opposite end of the spectrum from so-called "normal" dissociation (these kinds of multiples lose lots of time, for example). [...] We now aren't so sure that we fall in the midcontinuum; we're more inclined to identify as co-conscious multiplicity."

"Welcome to the House of The Moon," House of the Moon. https://web.archive.org/web/20000418080938/http://www.madstop.org/moonhaus/welcome.html

1999-April-30: A Yahoo Group called Otherkin-Hosts: Nonhumans In The System included, in its description, that along with being for "people who have more than one mind per body, of which one or more is not entirely human" the group was "also for exploring the differences in different types of multiplicity."

Otherkin-Hosts: Nonhumans In The System. Yahoo Groups. https://web.archive.org/web/20191209061848/https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/otherkind-hosts/info

1994-September-7: In the early 1990s a usenet group called Alt.Support Dissociation was creating for people with dissociative disorders. Within the Alt.Support Dissociation FAQ there were mentions and hints of non-DID multiplicity being possible as far as the creators and/or some of its members were concerned. For example, in Part 1/4 in a section titled "Posting Guidelines and Etiquette" includes these paragraphs:

"Do not suggest that, because someone has not been diagnosed with a dissociative disorder, that this automatically makes them wrong about what they are going through. This rule applies to therapists/psychologists as well as other posters. Especially for therapists/psychologists: do not attempt to diagnose someone, unless they are asking for an opinion on what they are experiencing. Those of us who are multiple who will be posting here don't want to be told we are not...don't you think we'd know? [OK, it could be something related instead, but if the multiplicity model fits us, and it works for us, why not let us use it?]"

"Many people do not consider their dissociation, no matter what the degree, to be in and of itself a problem, and for many people it is not. It is merely a different way of dealing with the world, in their case. They might, however, seek out a group such as this for suggestions on how to solve issues related to their dissociation."

"Alt.Support.Dissociation FAQ 1/4, Alt.Support.Dissociation, "September 7 1994, https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.support.dissociation/syXW3KkhIZA/discussion

For another example, this one in Part 3/4, there is this paragraph that started a section called "An Essay on Dissociation:"

"You will find that many people have many different views on what consitutes dissociation, who does it, and whether or not the simple existence of dissociative processes in a person constitute a problem (or when they do)."

Also, in Part 3/4 is this paragraph in the section called "Problems and Issues:"

"I would like to stress to people that they should not automatically label dissociation (yes, that includes multiplicity) as a problem. For many people, it is not. Sometimes the dissociation opens up new issues or causes problems for a person, but sometimes it does not."

For another example, in Part 3/4 in a question and answer titled, "Q: "What causes multiplicity?"" there is this portion:

"Some people explore identity or alternate identity games, like role playing, acting, pretending, or alternate social structures to the point where they begin to question their original identity.  In some cases, these identities can take on aspects, experiences, and problems which are essentially identical to those experienced by multiples who experienced trauma.  This effect seems to be most prevalent in people who explore in their adolescence.

"Some multiples are unaware of any initial trauma.  Whether such trauma exists and the memories blocked or whether no such trauma exists is usually impossible to determine."

For a final example, in Part 3/4 there is this question and answer:

"Q: "I've heard of something called a 'walk-in person', what's that?"

Despite the lack of belief many people have for this, there are a large number of multiples who have what seem to be alters that did not originate via a split or creation by the multiple system, but rather came in from the outside.

It seems that, when one or more of the alters need help that the system itself cannot provide, sometimes an outside source (a ghost, a spirit, a "mythical" beast) shows up, moves in, unpacks, and says "Where can I start?"

You don't have to believe it. But think of it as a kind of guardian spirit, only this one lives inside the mind. (And try not to let your skepticism get in the way.)"

  "Alt.Support.Dissociation FAQ 3/4," Alt.Support.Dissociation, September 7 1994 https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.support.dissociation/syXW3KkhIZA/discussion .

  Alt.Support.Dissociation FAQ 3/4," Alt.Support.Dissociation, September 7 1994 https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.support.dissociation/syXW3KkhIZA/discussion .

  "Alt.Support.Dissociation FAQ 3/4," Alt.Support.Dissociation, September 7 1994 https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.support.dissociation/syXW3KkhIZA/discussion .

  "Alt.Support.Dissociation FAQ 3/4," Alt.Support.Dissociation, September 7 1994 https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.support.dissociation/syXW3KkhIZA/discussion .

1992-June: The Many Voices: Words of Hope for Clients with MPD and Dissociative Disorders was a magazine created my multiples for other multiples and was made up of reader submissions. In volume 4, issue 3 on page 4 is a piece called “Therapists’ Page”  which was written by a Karen Suman Paley, a currently non-practicing social worker, who describes meeting someone who had “multiple personalities” but had not experience abuse or trauma during her childhood but had instead “contracted MPD from some environmental contaminant.” However, no further explanation is given as to what that means.

Many Voices Press. Many Voices: Words of Hope for Clients with MPD and Dissociative Disorders. Volume 4, Number 3, (June 1992). http://manyvoicespress.org/backissues-pdf/1992_06.pdf .

[rin-and-jade]

Hi hi,

I’m curious if you have any information about how weed or THC interact with DID? Also how antipsychotics (specifically abilify) interact with DID?

Context: I had edibles for the first time w friends the other night and they warned me that thc could make me unmask my autistic traits (it did) and that eventually caused a huge panic attack. After a while though I started age regressing, rapid switching, and arguing with myself. My friends are convinced it was real, that I was talking to alters and that I have DID. Theyre so sure too because I was using those words (I have a special interest in abnormal psych so I’m familiar with DID and OSDD). But I don’t know what to do next. Would it even be safe to try another edible and hope I can confirm or deny that this was all real? I also started an antipsychotic on the same day, so could it be that? Would antipsychotics make alters come out if they hadn’t been out before? I’m pretty sure it’s always just been me, but is that even possible? /genq

Im just very confused and scared and I don’t know what to do next. Any advice or information would be oh so greatly appreciated. I’m trying to stay logical and educated before I jump into anything. /gen

Thankyou for asking this genuine question because this seems like a serious issue for you, and for the opening of my explanation,, you should NEVER take another edible, you did the right thing waiting for me to answer it since i have some info of how certain drugs affect people neurologically. And yes, it can cause things like switching and age regression because the chemicals are out of balance, the chances of an alter coming out due to antispychotics is depending on dosage, and how effective the meds are so i can't answer this.

Moving on to main point.

So, the fact that you're taking antipsychotics, and then you take some THC, these two are enemies, the effects are 180 degrees the opposite, and unlike how acid and alkaline can neutralize itself (well this is for context, because these two are also enemies) medications do not most of the time, and not only that, it will make a jumble of mess. because weed is what "accelerates" your brain while antispychotics acts as a "sedative", and there's no other sure answer other than these two combination, will causes adverse effects depending on which alter (yeah they all have different resistance and severity in terms of taking in medications) takes it, but in general, it's still not a beautiful sight and it'll have similar outcomes.

In conclusion, when i said never, that means never ever, because the chances of you taking antipsychotics means you experience some psychotic symptoms and it needs to be treated, and if you have psychotic symptoms, psychoactive drugs (like THC before) should be banned from your life since it adds fire to the fuel.

My advice on what you can do next is educate yourself, and you should consult healthcare providers before doing something or atleast learn from goverment/lab papers to make sure whatever you're going to do won't end up horribly. I hope this answer satisfies you.

- j

[informationsorter]

Overt-Covert DID/OSDD

*Please note: This isn’t an actual term*

Why is it that symptoms of DID/OSDD can be so obvious to yourself and those close to you, while remaining completely non-suspicious to others around you?

Think of it this way: You are a witch. But no one is going around looking for witches, no one is going around suspecting people of being witches. Sure, you have a herb garden and a black cat, you wear black dresses, and you love going for strolls in the forest under the full moon’s light. But very very few people would actually truly believe you are a witch. Other people’s responses would likely be “that’s just the way she is”, “oh that spooky goth bitch is at it again”, or even “lol. What are you, a witch or something? Hahaha!”. An actual witch might see you and conclude that you are a witch, but that same witch might see a non-witch who just happens to enjoy moonlit strolls with her cat, and conclude that she also must be a witch. Likewise, in everyday life the majority of people aren’t out there looking for people with DID/OSDD, or carefully observing every single person to check for signs of DID/OSDD. You can be out there with obvious symptoms, and successfully just wave them away as “memory problems”, “mood swings”, “poor time management”, “inconsistent beliefs” etc. Even people who see you every day, and notice these symptoms are likely to write them off as “That’s just the way they are”, “Maybe they have (insert common mental health issue here)”, or joke about you having “multiple personalities”. (Of course some people will dismiss these symptoms as “laziness”, “rudeness”, “being inconsiderate”, “wishy-washy”, or other cruel and dismissive explanations.) Even when you think that your system seems extremely overt, and even if you feel as though at any moment someone is going to realise that you have DID/OSDD... the more likely outcome is that everyone around you has just accepted that those obvious symptoms are “just the way you are”. (There are exceptions of course.) Humans want to identify with each other. The social rules of our species mean that we rationalise phenomena that we ourselves don’t experience. The result is that “covert DID/OSDD” doesn’t need to be all that subtle in order to protect you. A lot of people worry themselves over whether their DID/OSDD is overt or covert, not really understanding just how obvious your DID/OSDD can be before it’s no longer covert.

The important thing is to make sure that you are safe.

Other than keeping you safe, overt vs covert doesn’t actually matter all that much.

************************************

Here a person talks about the differences between overt DID vs covert DID, and later their own experiences with extremely overt/florid DID: https://mr-system.medium.com/our-overt-covert-disorder-dissociative-identity-disorder-56693450d758 *Please note that this blog does not have a stance on endogenic systems, but the above link does briefly mention them in a negative way. Please do not click the link if this will harm you.*

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hey, for some while I believe I have some form of DID and a few days ago felt like I had kinda contact with someone? It felt different than usual, less vage "is it contact or am I talking to myself"-ish.

And I feel kinda happy. Is it weird to hope I have DID? Because that would mean I didn't make it up for years and, believing you have such a major illness and then there's nothing, that's cringe.

And I feel it would validate my trauma. I have real issues validating it, also because of my memory gaps, but also in general. Probably naiv but I think, if I would have an undeniable trauma issue (not some "you are so sensitive and got PTSD from god knows where, but is is kinda your own fault") would validate me, in my own eyes.

And last, this is super weird but true, I am very good at caring for others and suck at caring for myself. So "care for your inner child" has had some good effects on me, but I think, really caring for others, when caring for myself, would change 100% how I live my life.

Everyone is like "Nobody wants such an illness" but I have CPTSD regardless so, idk, I kinda hope I didn't make it up. There's also a significant part in me, hoping I made it up, because that would mean major changes in my life that I am not happy about.

But I don't always hate the thought of it, and I feel guilty for that.

Hi anon,

It's normal as a survivor to want to have a support network, even internally, to balance the weight of the trauma, daily life, or whatever else. The saying goes that if you feel it would be beneficial to be a system, then you are likely a system, because singlets have no need to be plural. There is a sense of family within a system and it makes sense to want that sense of community within yourself.

Please also know that it's normal to find satisfaction in getting a diagnosis. Labels do help some people by providing a sense of comfort or relief in being able to name or confirm your experiences. Getting diagnosed with DID can offer an explanation for memory gaps, identity confusion, and other dissociative experiences. However, it's important to remember that a diagnosis is not necessary for validation and healing from trauma. You and your experiences are valid regardless of whether or not you're professionally diagnosed.

I also just want to say that you don't have to have DID for your trauma to be bad enough or valid enough. I think there is a common misconception that DID must be from "severe childhood trauma" but this is not the case. We have to remember that severity is subjective, and the age window for developing the disorder isn't as strict as commonly thought because we all develop differently.

It's important to remember not to compare yourself to pwDID and feel like their trauma is more valid than yours because they have the most severe form of PTSD. While some people may find it helpful to remember that there's always someone who "has it worse", that doesn't heal anyone. There is more healing to be found in considering that all trauma is equally valid.

It's okay to question whether or not you're a system, and it's okay if it turns out you're not a system. You don't deserve to judge yourself no matter the outcome. There is a lot of shame and stigma in the DID community, but please remember that exploring yourself is a perpetual effort and it's understandable to not have all the answers. You're just trying to make sense of what's going on in your mind and there's nothing wrong with that.

Please know you're not alone. I'm questioning myself and have the same thoughts as you. My therapist believes I have OSDD but explained that a diagnosis isn't necessary because it runs the risk of pathologization and it wouldn't change the treatment plan. So do consider that diagnosis may be avoided.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate your experiences, thoughts, and feelings surrounding both your trauma and seeking a diagnosis. A therapist, especially one who specializes in complex trauma or dissociative disorders, can help figure out if diagnostic evaluation is the best course of action for you.

If anyone would like to make a comment or suggestion, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[tiny-yam]

I’m going to offer unsolicited advice about your osdd 1-b post so don’t read on if you don’t want that.

*･゜ﾟ･*🪻 🪶🤲🏼🫧🌦️🪷🐚🕊️🪺🌻 *･゜ﾟ･*

If your partner is faking it, it sounds like a pretty manipulative thing to do. That’s not to say that they’re a bad person or that they’re doing it on purpose.

If you do suspect you’re being gaslit/coerced focus on how it’s made you feel, and ask yourself about other times you’ve felt this way. Go through who, what, why, where, and when you’ve felt this way in the past. It puts things in perspective before you decide to take action. It’s important to forgive and work with people where they’re at in a relationship, however, you need to find a balance that’s most comfortable and optimal for you between your partners intentionally and outcomes.

I stayed in a shitty relationship for six years because my partner and I were young and figuring things out, and they (mostly) never meant to hurt me. But at the end of the day what they were doing was negatively impacting my life, even if they didn’t mean to. I had to live with the effects of their actions no matter what their intention was. And they would only change so much, and so slowly. I had to accept that this was the person I was binding my life to—not their intentions and words—and decide from there what I would do.

Best of luck and I hope this gets old to your partner soon and they go back to normal 💛 hope you have a good day and get to do something you enjoy

Oh my goodness you are so sweet, anon - this is wonderful advice (I'm gonna post this so others can see)! 🥺💛 I was actually talking about myself in this post - I have a new and "punitive" (if you will, in schema mode terms) alter that seems to be stuck in a trauma from when I was around 5yo. When I think back now and kind of assess things, I theorize that the split happened a few days ago when I accidentally (somehow; I honestly forgot) found out my boyfriend had bought me an engagement ring. We've been together for a little over 4 years and have discussed this in depth & beyond, so it wasn't an out-of-the-blue surprise to *me,* but it must have triggered something very deep that I didn't even know was festering. I've been seeing my trauma therapist for about 6 years now (it's only been 2 years since finding out about my system though), I've been on and off different meds since I was twelve (you name it, I've tried it)... and I *cannot* bridle the oppositional and antagonistic behavior of this alter even with my arsenal of coping methods/skills and personal knowledge of psychology and how childhood trauma works. My boyfriend knows very, very little - near to nothing - about OSDD/DID/MPD despite me quite literally begging him to learn at least the very basics, otherwise the disorder looks too messy, as if nothing can be done to help. I take full responsibility every time that alter says something out of line, because it's *still technically me* that said it. I don't blame my boyfriend for not knowing what to do about the behavioral pattern, either, because... how would he know? Even *I* don't know. And that breaks my heart, knowing that a part of me can just pop out and take over whenever, without my consent, and just... shatter everything Good in my life. I assume this 5yo part of me doesn't want marriage because I was left alone with strange men at that age. That's all I really need to say.

I made this post earlier out of frustration, after I switched back, because I remembered that there are people out there that *think* they want multiple personalities. Even if you don't have a "mean" alter, it isn't cool or fun or quirky or whatever it is people think. It wreaks havoc on every aspect of my life, even in tiny ways. Thank you again, anon, you're a good soul 💛🙏🏻🌱

[jrwi-most-nd]

Round 3 Poll:

Pictures and propaganda are under the cut!

William Wisp (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, ADHD, Anxiety, Cotard’s Syndrome, AVPD, PTSD, OCD, Schizophrenia, Delusional Disorder, OSDD-1b/Plurality, and BPD)

Look at him and tell me he doesn’t have massive anxiety  ~ Anxiety

I mean his whole thing is that he is literally dead and alive at the same time. One of the first things introduced about him is how quickly he can make himself go invisible/seem like he doesn’t exist. The autism is just because he’s silly :3  ~ Autism and Cotard’s Syndrome

Just like. Look into his eyes and you’ll know. But also don’t he’s autistic how dare you  ~ Autism and Anxiety

- Deep-rooted low self esteem. He’s always felt weird and different, sees himself as inherently wrong, a fuck up and a disappointment. He struggles to even see himself as a person, especially when he was dead. He puts his friends on a pedestal (especially Dakota) and sees himself as someone way beneath them.  - Relatively okay with maintaining some surface level relationships but struggles with expressing his deeper feelings or talking about his past. Always vague and incredibly apologetic, quick to brush past it whenever it comes up.  - Very self-conscious and ashamed of his powers, especially early on. He asks people to look away when he goes into spirit form, and only does it in extreme circumstances. Only comfortable when he’s in the purple morph suit, where he feels like he can be seen as a different person. - When Dakota gives him his heart he immediately feels like he has to dedicate his whole life to making it up to him (literally gets a new complication bc of that). Feels undeserving of kindness or help from others.   - Quick to give up when he isn’t absolutely certain of an outcome. Extreme reluctance to take risks, (avoiding using his powers because he doesn’t trust himself to control them, running and hiding during fights)  ~ AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder)

Well its been a while since i spedrun pd but what ive picked up is; They wear alot of layers which could be a texture thing or an unbalance to coldness and warmness and that bitch is definitely queer which is more common for autistic/adhd folks since they tend to be less reliant on social norms and thus more open about their sexuality and gender! Another think is in both the designs his hair only goes does to his neck i have autism and my hair HAS to be a specific length or like texture issues and shit and i know in the one shot between season 1 and 2 his hair is different but i refuse to believe that >:( anyway thats all i picked up i probably can think of alot more but these were a few off the top of my head! (i cant find much for the delusional disorder since its only small details but let me hc jeeze >:()  ~ Autism, ADHD, Schizophrenia, and Delusional Disorder

theres one specific monologue that makes me claw at the fences but i cant find it right now. Just know its true because i know everything and i said so  ~ OSDD-1b

Vyncent Sol (Prime Defenders)

(Submitted for Autism, DID/Plurality, OCD, and generally neurodivergent)

I do not care that it isn’t canon system Vyncent owns my soul  ~ DID I’ve only seen the free episodes but GOODNESS. First of all the multiple personalities are an obvious choice, the fact that he’s from another world and struggles to adapt to this world is SO autism coded for so many reasons, plus just. HIM is so autistic-like I can’t put words to it but it just is. The OCD is just vibes and projection honestly  ~ Autism, Plural, OCD, ND