#listen i know the general rule is your dreams are not interesting to other people

[britcision]

You think you’re used to having weird dreams until you dream a Supernatural episode but Sam and Dean wander off about 10 minutes in and then it’s Lucien from Critical Role running around plotting “evil” with and against the monster of the week with Merry and Pippin as his henchmen

(I was Pippin)

(I could not persuade Lucien to take the monsters seriously, but I did manage to do pretty good persuading them not to eat me right away by singing)

The monsters in question were sorta… shapeshifters that could steal your appearance by taking your hand, and then they’d eat your significant other so that they could feed their babies

Their main issue was that if they took your shape when you had a temporary issue like being covered in glue they’d copy the issue too and it wouldn’t just go away for them

They were fucking great monsters, super compelling, and for some ungodly reason while Aragorn was leading Frodo and Sam to safety (they hadn’t met him in Bree so they met for the first time all fleeing said monsters along a beach) I-As-Pippin and Merry were engaged in Yu-Gi-Oh-Abridged style shenanigans with Lucien-As-Marik

(Including he wanted to break into a secret office through a window over the door so he stood on each of our shoulders and held a pose as we stood to lift him up

We were fucking hobbits it did not get him high enough but dangit he tried)

Anyway while Lucien was trying to do Evil Shenanigans including for some reason stealing a Winchester’s backpack that the monsters also REALLY REALLY wanted, Merry and I were trying to get the attention of the actual Winchesters to explain what was going on

While usually hanging out with at least one monster in disguise, who sometimes knew we were onto it but was having fun watching us flail

Neither fucking Winchester were even remotely inclined to be on camera or present except for a single bloody scene where Sam Winchester read from a book in the backpack to me, Merry, and our monster buddy and very earnestly convinced the monster that he thought we were hunting a fish

The monsters were not fish and our guy in particular seemed perplexed by this very wrong take but clearly didn’t want to discourage us from being wrong

For some reason the way we actually beat them was by putting lube on a playground structure that I-As-Pippin then had to step through while held hostage, lead them through, and then let them turn into me which for some reason made them all permanently very slippery

This did not noticeably fucking help me or let me escape but it did make their feet hurt for some reason and we had Scooby Doo Chase Shenanigans while I tried to work out why the fuck this was the plan and how it was supposed to help

(Lucien, meanwhile, was being entertained by the boss monster and trying to use his Somnovum powers to mind control him or resist being mind controlled in a fancy mansion

We did have to pause here because I pointed out (while not in the scene) that Lucien’s main flaw is Wizard Hubris, and this couldn’t be post-Somnovum Lucien because he had no extra eyes and wasn’t a shirtless tentacle man

We-the-audience-and-players-of-this-show-that-is-clearly-a-dnd-game agreed that this was pre-Somnovum and he hadn’t gone to actually control them yet, but he was manipulating them and using their powers for his own “evil” ends

Said evil being about as menacing, again, as Marik from YGOTAS and not his more effective evil form

Tbh Merry and Pippin as his evil henchmen was about right)

I did work it out before I woke up (not that it made sense) because apparently the main issue with this lube was that it was making all the monster babies too slippery, so while they were all chasing me and the other protagonists around the babies were occasionally being yote like a slip n slide

Hypothetically the monsters were supposed to find this very distracting and upsetting, but they hadn’t really noticed either until I asked what the fuck this was supposed to achieve and why it was the grand solution

Note: this was not in any way a scary dream, I get monster-chase dreams a lot but very rarely in a way that upsets me even in dream as anything more than a minor nuisance

(Or I get annoyed when the dream cheats because I successfully got away, doubled back, and tailed the monsters so I knew where they were and then the dream reset them to directly behind me)

There was a pretty compelling plot to this one so while I was stuck being Pippin and trying to move the plot myself, I was mostly just watching it like a tv show

Also Jaskier was running around being monster-adjacent (not sure if he actually got turned at some point) and joined in for my musical number to persuade the monsters not to kill me

Pretty sure he seduced at least two because there were less of them after that and I remember thinking that this was the quintessential bard scene and why bards are fucking great to play in dnd

(I think most of the actual show was supposed to be about Frodo, Samwise, and Aragorn escaping the monsters but fuck them I had way more fun watching/being Pippin and Merry on Lucien shenanigans

Trying to persuade Lucien that the monsters were a problem and not potential allies was…

A trip)

[black-lake]

astro observations 9

hey folks, I found new stuff to talk about. this is more of an outer planets and generations obs 🚀

——

✮⌁ when uranus conjunct pluto happened during 1964, we saw a lot of rebellious music, fashion and other forms of expression, the beatles, bowie's debut album, twiggy, bob dylan.. etc. It was an important decade for many changes and revolutions. It's why so many people are still influenced by the art, music and appeal of that era. Even though it was a relatively short period, the intense need for freedom was loudly expressed that decade. I think with pluto in aquarius we may see similar events, but on a larger scale and with a far more lasting impact. 

✮⌁ neptune will move into aries in 2025, and boy when I tell you I can't wait, I terribly mean it. I think neptune in pisces wasn’t doing it for me, I had creative expectations for it but it was all about spirituality and faith practices on the internet and an unhealthy addiction to it. this was right after neptune in aquarius which we all know made the internet an addiction in itself. 

✮⌁ It had its positive impact, being open-minded about different beliefs, exploring our intuition and faith and other abstract topics. but we've already seen the negative impact. It's mainly the spirituality addiction on the internet that has became almost inescapable, replacing reality, practices performed and consumed by really young individuals which could distort their view on the world at an older age. living in an illusion and assumption of everything and everyone, believing everything you hear blindly, because of your or someone else's false sense of intuition will make the world more closed-off and less likely to evolve. it can create a reversed effect, inducing fear of real life interactions, closed-mindedness and seclusion.

✮⌁ with neptune in aries, we will come out of our shells and live in the real world, we will explore the world with a new set of eyes and a fresh sense of passion and childlike wonder. We're less likely to listen to our fears and other people's assumptions and bs. It's a new astrological cycle. Our collective hopes, dreams, fantasies and passions are reborn. Now especially when uranus moves into gemini, the same year, people will be more encouraged to become social and intimate, more fun talks and activities, I hope 🥹 this will also help fuel the inventive ideas pluto in aquarius brings with it.

✮⌁ y'all there's more to astrology than just money, success and fame. you can explore the world with that tool, thousands of things to talk about. there're topics that aren't given as much attention here. if you have something interesting and new you posted or you wanna talk about and are shy plssss just share it in the comments I'm all for ittt I wanna see it. 

✮⌁ last time pluto was in aquarius 1778-1798, there was an industrial revolution going on, the peak of "the age of enlightenment", the french revolution, and many other political revolutions. the battery, hot-air balloon and parachute were some of the things invented. uranus was discovered in 1781. fun fact, the airplane was invented when pluto was retrograde in gemini in 1903, which makes sense since it rules over flying and air travel, also uranus was in sagittarius which rules travel as well, so interestingly enough there was a uranus-pluto opposition.

✮⌁ when uranus moves into gemini (ruling air travel) and with pluto being in aquarius, we literally may see spaceship inventions or spacecrafts and rockets that will launch to space. we may even be able to travel to a certain planet or at least find something new about it. we may find creatures or living things in space. air travel may look different, hydrogen-powered planes, cleaner and eco-friendly energy sources. at the very least we may hear of new scientists, and keep up with them.

✮⌁ any outer planet in libra, is a timeline I'd like to skip if I ever lived in, which I won't thankfully. It's by far the least sign that has potential to bring evolution and advancement to a generation, excluding aspects, it just ain’t doing much. Idk what it is, but maybe people are less likely to do anything considered immoral or unaccepted, they're more likely to do things like pleasing the generation's expectations and opinions. It brings a sense of connectivity, an understanding of comprise to connect and relate to our environment, and a focus on relationship matters, which of course is a building brick to bigger changes like all the transits are. but for me, not an exciting time, ig it's why I'm born in neptune and uranus in aquarius gen 💀

✮⌁ many of us have parents that have uranus or pluto in libra, and tbf, they likely were closed minded, people pleasing or even racist at times. but our pluto sag ass knew how to deal with it. how many of y'all gen z's gave your mommy a lecture on lgbt+ rights and the people with other cultures and backgrounds? 🖐🏼 also butting heads over someone wearing something on the streets, I'm like "THEY CAN DO whatever they want, let them live" 

✮⌁ speaking of pluto in sagittarius, I'm a little underwhelmed. dgmw we made so many changes and paved the way for future generations, but moreso, perspective wise. I didn't see many tangible changes from this gen compared to pluto in scorpio, which was wild in terms of sexual expression, experiments, conspiracies, institutional corruption, societal and medical change. pluto in sag was kinda mild, we allowed everyone's voice to be heard, explored other cultures and lifestyles, probably have friends from all around the world, we're willing to learn and are open to all sources of knowledge, we're truth tellers and we won't shut up. I guess our mission was too easy for us.

✮⌁ pluto in sag gen probably have challenging experiences relating to higher education, college years may have been dark and even traumatic for many esp if you also have it conjunct chiron 🏴‍☠️ even our sense of belief in ourselves and optimism is wounded, we put on a happy front because we see a better future for the world at large, but not for us, like we're some type of teachers or gurus raising a child.

✮⌁ if you have pluto conjunct chiron, you may feel dismissed or misplaced. things can hurt deeply with this. this also may indicate some family karma that needs to be resolved. your ancestors may have done shady stuff that cost them a lot. you are here to change that and find the light that future generations will thank you for. you got the resources to do so since conjunction is the most beneficial of all. you got a lot of healing and transformative powers. since it's in sag, it may be about clearing up nasty beliefs and perceptions of people and the world, even harmful actions and disrespect towards different individuals. you're the truth-seeker that refuses to take on outdated traditions and beliefs.

✮⌁ pluto in capricorn gen understand the value of monetary resources because they experienced a restriction of it at some point in their lives. there's this feeling of restriction coming from societal rules or memories of such repressive time, which they may feel the need to go against and prove themselves by working and gaining more power. they know how to survive in times of chaos and make the most out of what they have. they may have goals of creating some type of legacy for themselves and future generations. also maybe capricorn ruling the skeletal system is why caps give the 💀🩻🪦🏴‍☠️ impression, sry I keep making jokes about y'all, but ya dgaf 🫶🏼

[juliforu]

PAINTING D&D MINI’S AND HANGING OUT NOTES:

This includes, a lil info about sam, info on dahlia, demon structures, Dreamwalkers, Listener clarifications, Info about voicing lasko that I thought was interesting, Shifter info, Elemental clarifications for any new peeps, and general info about milo

I will say, I feel as though most people will know this information but I still wanted to put it out just in case we have new redacted enjoyers or just some who genuinely didn’t know!

I’ll be posting the first channelversary notes soon!

Sam: 21:53 -> Erik ended up feeling more comfortable than he thought in terms of using an accent for Sam, and he ended up really liking his character so he decided to just go for it!

* 26:46 Technically, Not EVERYONE, Lives in Dahlia, but he got the name from a murder mystery party that he wrote!

- 35:06 In Erik’s world, Demon Structure doesn’t have the same set up in terms of family, All empathy demons were stated to be Calem’s siblings but not in actuality, they just Coalesce all together.

- [ ] 40:38- Shifters powers do not manifest until puberty! Not kid age, but around teen years, like (maybe 12 or 13 up essentially? maybe?)

- [ ] 44:08 -> A dreamwalker does not have to know a person to get into their dreams (remember this is lore from at the time, right after he says he doesn’t have all the rules exactly figured out yet)

- [ ] 54:21 -> In terms of the listeners family, info and stuff will be up to us (like headcanons and personal opinions), There will be hints to certain stuff but it’ll be up to YOUR interpretation.

- [ ] 59:24 -> If all of Erik’s characters were in a room together, they would NOT get along. Some of them genuinely hate each other (we know this even more well now lmao)

- [ ] 1:06:51 Lasko: Sometimes when voicing lasko, Erik would stutter a bit too much and would have to either edit the clip or completely retake the scene so his stutters for Lasko and not sound like he went too hard 😭

- [ ] 1:10:43 Shifters (Wolves): Shifters in their wolf forms can indeed eat chocolate!

- [ ] 1:24:58 Elementals: Fire and Air elementals are sun bound while Earth and Water and moon bound!

- [ ] 3:16:33 Milo: Milo’s accent is vaguely an east coast accent

Tag List:!

@desmorotu @hammerhead-jpg @xanyiaz

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Rules (Re-vamped for new added fandoms, rules, prefrences, Master List, and Current Works)

(Re-vamped for new added fandoms, rules, and prefrences)

“I never ask a man what his business is, for it never interests me. What I ask him about are his thoughts and dreams.”-Howard Philips Lovecraft

Hello I'm Mr. Cosmic, I am a Romantic Asexual Man (Not sex repulsed, I actually find the concept of sex and how deeply it is ingrained in humanity fascinating) my birthday is September 26th, My favorite food is Spaghetti and Garlic Bread (I know I know, Asexuals and garlic bread), my favorite drink is home made Mountain Tea, I love writing romantic and fluffy things but I also may right angst if I'm in the right mood, My favorite bands are Queens Of The Stone Age, Arctic Monkeys, Franz Ferdinand, Iron Maiden, Nujabes (RIP), Megadeth, Rob Zombie, and Foo Fighters, I hope we can all get along!

I take recommendations for shows to watch and add to the list of fandoms and music to listen to while I write (I am partial to fast paced songs, but I also enjoy slower ones)

I am also associated with the @favonius-library and @ecrin-de-litterature

ASKS ARE: OPEN!

ALL OF MY CURRENT WORKS

ALL OF MY CURRENT WORKS PT.2

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Rules

I only write romance for female characters but I'm perfectly fine with writing platonic male relationships (There are a few exceptions but most of the time this is the rule of thumb to go by)

I write for G/N, Male, and Female readers

Like any other Tumblr I reserve the right to reject asks

Be Respectful.

Do Not Hate On People In The Comments!

No Homophobia, Transphobia, etc. etc.

If You Have A Question About A Post Ask In The Comments Of The Post please.

No Politics!

I prefer to write for Ladies but I will do guys once in a blue moon if they're a part of the ask.

Due to a recent attempt to write trans characters and the anxiety attack which affected my willingness to write I have made the decision to (For the moment this may change though it is unlikely) not write Trans character's there is nothing wrong with Trans People I just feel like I can't portray them properly.

IF ONE MORE GODDAMN FUCKING PORN BOT OR BLANK BLOG FOLLOWS ME I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I WILL GO ON A GODDAMN PURGE SO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CUSTOMIZE YOUR TUMBLR OR I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY BAN HAMMER YOU!!!

FANDOMS

Genshin Impact

Honkai Star Rail

Reverse 1999

Lobotomy Corporation

Library Of Ruina

Limbus Company

Bleach

RWBY

Chainsaw man

Jujutsu Kaisen

Fate Grand Order and Fate in general

Danganropa

Persona 3

Persona 4

Persona 5

River City Girls

Tekken

King Of Fighters

Guilty Gear

Granblue Fantasy

Blazblue

Skullgirls

Under Night In Birth

Street Fighter

Resident Evil

Final Fantasy

Fear & Hunger

Fear & Hunger: Termina

Hi-Fi Rush

Trails Of Cold Steel

Girls Front Line

Bloodborne

Elden Ring

(To Be Added)

What I Will Do

Character x Reader

All of the dere's (Yandere, Kudere, Tsundere, Goudere, Masodere, Sadodere etc. etc.)

Poly

Character x Multiple (Separate from Poly, NSFW only Ex. Free Use)

Platonic Relationships

NSFW (If You Want a Specific Kink You Have To Ask)

(More To Be Added)

What I Won’t Do

Underage

Non-Con (I might do CNC)

Kinks like Scat and Vore

NTR

(More To Be Added)

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[deejadabbles]

Echo and Comms (Echo x Reader) Chapter Three

Summary: Who could know that a simple night out with your friend would lead to this? A life of danger and the man of your dreams. Echo x Communications Officer Reader (gender neutral). Friends to lovers/star-crossed lovers. A.N: First off I would like say I'm so sorry (!!!) this took so long to get out to anyone interested in this series! If I'm being blunt, I've been feeling rather discouraged over my Echo content. But, I still adore this man and have so many ideas on where to take this series, so, thank you to everyone who shows interest in this story! I appreciate the reblogs and comments so much! Secondly, the emotions of this chapter got away from me and before I knew it I was 3k words deep, so I'm warning you now that this is a heavy chapter, but I promise the sweet reunion and happy times are coming! I promise Word count: 3,814 Songs for listening: What Hurts the Most and Experience . Warnings: mentions and explorations of grief/loss, mentions of drinking as a coping mechanism, very heavy topics in general.

Part One /// Part Two /// Part Three /// [Part Four coming soon]

There was nothing to mourn.

That’s the reality that hit you hardest.

The clones gave everything to the republic, to the people, to the war, and they got nothing in return. You had always known that, of course. The debate of clone rights and personhood was always a raring topic since the start of the war, not that the question of their rights should be a debate at all. You had always known they were dealt a shitty hand in life, but it was never more apparent than now.

Now that there was nothing of your sweet, brave Echo to mourn.

There was no funeral, no last rites, no medals or flags given in his honor, not even a damn word of thanks for his sacrifice. His brothers would grieve for him, of course, perhaps the Jedi who had led him too, Echo had always spoken fondly of Skywalker, after all, but his brothers had no means to mourn. Not really. And no other family could offer you their shoulder, no mother or father, no one but soldiers who weren’t allowed to wear their sorrows on their sleeves.

There was nothing of Echo’s to mourn, nothing but the messages and pictures he had sent you.

They were the only proof of his existence, of his memory. That he wasn’t another number, that he was sweet and charming and smart, that he was awkward and rule-following and so damn caring. He had worried so much about his brothers, about them being remembered, and now, these communications were the only remembrance of him, of your Echo.

Eventually, you had to force yourself to stop looking them over for hours every night. Stop yourself from hoping that you would get one last comm from him. One last picture of his dorky smile, of him and Fives causing havoc. One last call to tell you he missed you, to tell you he loved you. 

Echo had loved you. 

And you, oh, how you had loved him too. You had fallen for him fast and hard, and now this pain was the unyielding ground at the end of that fall.

Work was your only solace. Work was an escape, a place where your mind couldn’t wander, couldn’t focus on the grief, couldn’t muse over your loss, your work was too important for that.

Mavis was your anchor, she gave you space and distractions in a good balance. Space to be alone so you weren’t just cramming your feelings in a box all day, and distractions when she knew you needed something that wasn’t work or grief. 

You weren’t proud of the way you were careless with your drinks at the bar on those nights, but somehow, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care most of the time.

Days turned into weeks. The war stretched on, and death tolls rolled in every day, just numbers, faceless, dehumanized numbers. Just like your Echo.

Weeks turned into months. Work continued, a decryption there, a few lives saved here, small victories, victories that helped your pain. Each one was for your Echo now.

You had always taken pride in your work, pride in doing your part to ease this war, to win battles, but now this was just an extra layer of it, pride that you could help the brothers he had held so dear. It helped, and those around you started to notice. 

Eventually, it got easier to smile throughout the day, and you started to feel less guilty over that ease. Though, you still couldn’t crack jokes quite like you used to. At some point, your trips to the bar became less about drowning your sorrow and more about spending time with friends. Though, you still recoiled every time someone tried to flirt with you.

You hoped that things could get better.

The trouble was that no one told you that hope was a dangerous thing.

A sigh pushed itself past your teeth as you leaned back, rubbing your eyes to wash away the imprint of data streams behind your lids. Just a few more hours and you could go to that nice dinner Mavis had invited you to. It was a decent day, and you felt like eating.

The break from your work must have caught attention because someone cleared their throat beside you. Moving only one hand, you cracked an eye open toward the noise. It was Taan, a young and brilliant decrypter who had been placed under your care until he learned the ropes enough to work on his own. He was holding his data pad with a question burning in his eyes.

“Yeah, kid?” you asked, fighting a yawn.

“Do you have a minute to look something over?”

Silently, you sat upright again and waved him forward, letting your other hand drop.

He paused for just a moment, thought, then must have decided it was now or never, “Do you remember last week, when we decrypted that resource update?”

“You mean the one from the techno union, advertising their fancy new battle tactic algorithm?”

“Yeah, that one! See, I was taking another look at it, and…something doesn’t fit. It bothered me the first time we looked at it, but we were too busy relaying the new information to command for me to think about at the time, but now I looked it over again and…” Fingers tapped on the underside of the data pad as he bit his lip, then he shoved it towards you, “here just look for yourself, look at the developer signatures.”

You did as asked, eyes going to the bottom of the page where the techno union had listed the people involved with creating the algorithm. If you weren’t so used to decoding the various numeric-heavy code names those tech creeps used, it would have looked like gibberish. Wat Tambor’s was the only code name you had memorized and without your key, you weren’t sure who the others were….expect.

Your chair gave a creak as you jolted forward, a little shocked.

“See it?” Taan was trying to contain his excitement at your reaction, obviously glad he wasn’t going crazy. 

He wasn’t. There, right in the middle of the long list of contributors, was a strange name, not coded like the rest. ‘T1b3r’ It only had two numbers, unlike the others, meaning it had to be using a different cipher. Among the dozen confusing names, it was easy to miss.

Your mind was working overtime and you didn’t answer the kid quite yet as you pulled your chair back to your workstation, fingers dancing away at your desk unit. That didn’t stop Taan from rambling in your silence.

“I ran it through our other keys but it still didn’t make any sense, then I thought, maybe this guy’s using a whole new code we haven’t cracked yet? But in that case, why? Like why sign your contribution and make it harder to recognize your name and-”

“That’s because it’s not encoded at all,” you offered, “or at least, not a complicated code.”

“Huh?”

“You play Alderaan Gambit at all, kid?”

Taan hummed, “You mean that weird, over-complicated version of holochess? No, not really.”

Since your quick search on the net confirmed your suspicions, you leaned back in your chair again, “Well, one of the elements of the game is capturing each other’s pieces and holding them behind your ‘enemy line’ so to speak. The pieces aren’t just removed from play, they stay on the board and there are all kinds of strategies players can use to win the game with them. You know what those captured pieces are called?”

He shook his head.

“Tibers.”

Taan’s eyes went wide, “T1b3r!” he snatched his datapad back from your hands, “So… you don’t think that…?”

You hesitated, pulling your lip between your teeth, “That one of our own is being used behind enemy lines? Yeah…maybe.”

A fist slammed against your desk, nearly hitting your keyboard, and a growl pushed its way through your teeth. It was late, much later than you usually stayed, and well past your shift. You had told Taan to go home hours ago, insisting that you could wait for the response alone. 

After your litter discovery, you sent it up the chain of command and leveraged your reputation to get the report marked as a priority. You knew there was a chance that, even if they did look it over today, that they may not see what the two of you saw.

The response to your report was clear: there wasn’t enough evidence to warrant further investigation.

If you weren’t running on so little sleep and half blind from staring at the screen of your desk unit for 12 hours, you might have been able to see their point. It was, admittedly, a weak connection. There were countless languages and cultures in the galaxy, so even if the code name was meant to spell out ‘Tiber’ there was little reason to think it was in reference to a strategy game and not just a birth-given name.

But still, something just didn’t sit right with you. Something was off, you could feel it in your gut, and after years of trusting your gut to stay alive, you weren’t in the habit of ignoring it.

You rubbed the corners of your tired eyes, hoping to alleviate the pressure growing there. The supervisors weren’t any help to you now, but you weren’t ready to let this go just yet. You just had to think- think of who you could go to for another opinion!

After a moment, your head jerked back up, eyes still stinging as they met your holoscreen again. A quick search in the GAR records would give you your answer, they kept close track of what battalion was where at any given moment. It was serendipitous, or maybe it was fate telling you that you were right to push this further, either way, you practically lept from your chair when you saw that the 501st were currently on Coruscant.

Even if you could let this go until tomorrow (which you couldn’t), you had to go to them tonight, they were shipping out for Ringo Vinda in the morning to aid General’s Tiplee and Tiplar.

You were already clocking out with the Corrie guards on duty before you realized you weren’t even sure who to contact or how. A part of you felt like you knew the men of the 501st, especially Torrent company. 

The number of times Echo had talked about them, all the pictures he sent, the videos he recorded of their antics, they felt like old friends. Echo had wanted you to meet them all, mentioned all the time of plans for you to join his brothers on shore leave the next time they came home. A chance you two never got.

There was a sudden shake of your head as if that could brush the spiraling thoughts away. You had to focus, this wasn’t about your lost chances.

You thought about asking Mavis for Fives’ comm code, but that felt a little trange. So, instead, you checked the time and, when you realized drinking hours were just starting, you headed for your speeder bike.

You hadn’t been back to 79’s since the night you met Echo. When you two were together, it was simply because there were other bars you and your friends preferred more and now that he was gone, no one even dared mention the name of the place.

It wasn’t nearly as hard to walk in as you thought it would be. Though, that was mostly due to the fact that you were avoiding looking at any of the patrons in armor for too long. That wouldn’t last forever, of course, the whole reason you were here was to talk to someone who had the same face as him.

There wasn’t much wandering needed before you spotted a group in blue, downing shots and making a general ruckus at the bar. You recognized the large tattoo on one of them and actually smiled to yourself. A picture came to the surface of your mind, one with three of Echo’s brothers standing in a smoke-filled kitchen. The corner of Echo’s laughing face had been beside the caption: ‘They were betting on who the better cook was. They all lost’.

Again you had to tamp down the feelings welling up inside and once you had, you marched to the bar. You tapped on the armored shoulder, just before he grabbed another shot.

When he looked over his shoulder at you, you said, “Are you Jesse?”

He arched an eyebrow, then turned to face you fully, eyes scanning up and down, “Hey, you aren’t a clone.”

“Observant one, aren’t you?”

That made him smirk, “Just not used to seeing natborns in those uniforms- but yeah, I’m Jesse, what’s your name, hot lips?”

You opened your mouth, but it wasn’t your voice that called your name, instead, a hand gripped your shoulder and you turned to see Fives with concern written on his face. The moment you saw him, something that wasn’t there when you looked at Jesse gripped your heart, but like the other emotions, you swallowed it.

“Fives, is your captain here? I need to speak with Rex.”

His eyes narrowed, “Rex? Why?”

You hesitated, and the moment you did, Fives handed his drink off to someone else and guided you away from the heart of the ruckus (leaving Jesse ignored and a little bewildered).

“I just need to talk to him. Something was brought to my attention at work today and I think he might be able to help me.”

Again, Fives just stared at you, but when you only answered him with a hard stare, he sighed. “Rex is having a drink with Commander Bly,” he jabbed his thumb towards a two-seat table near the corner. Before you could shove past him, however, his grip on your arm tightened a bit. “Hey- just hold on a sec, will you? Can I at least ask how you’re doing?”

You didn’t miss the way he tried to duck into your vision, to lock his gaze with the eyes that were avoiding him. It wasn’t his fault, the emotion welling up inside, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. Fives was just too wrapped up in everything that reminded you of him.

But, he still deserved an answer.

“I’m…better. Things aren’t perfect, but,” with a calming breath, you looked up as close to his eyes as possible, focusing on all the little details of his face that distinguished him from Echo. “But they’re better.”

You knew he was staring at you still, maybe searching your face, maybe looking for signs of a lie or cover-up. After a moment, though, he sighed and straightened up. “Alright. Hey, before you leave, tell me, I’ll walk you home, okay?”

A smile flickered across your lips, Fives really was sweet, despite his playboy bravado. After giving his arm a gentle squeeze, you moved past him toward where Rex and his friend sat. As if by fate, the other man, Bly, got up before you closed in, heading for the bar for another round.

Rex’s gaze flicked up from his empty glass when he caught your movement in the corner of his eye.

“Captain Rex?”

“Yes, may I help you?” he asked, looking you over.

You held your hand out, and when you gave your name, his eyes widened. So, he did know of you. That made sense, Echo once said that he ‘bragged’ about you every chance he got, even to his captain. Before Rex could say anything, however, you got to business, “I’m sorry to interrupt your evening, Captain, but I need your help with something, do you have a moment?”

Rex didn’t hesitate, after casting a eyes to the bar and sharing a look with someone, presumably his friend, he waved for you to take a seat.

“Did you receive the report on the Techno Union’s new battle algorithm?” you asked once settled in the seat. He nodded, and so, you explained your situation, your theory, and what brought you to it, and how the higher-ups didn’t think it important enough to investigate. 

When you finished, Rex continued to stare at you for a moment, then, “Alright, so why have you come to me?”

“Because I-” you paused, mind faltering. You had a reason, of course you did, but how to put it? Your eyes dropped to the table for a moment, you thought, then darted your gaze back up to his with a sign, “Maybe I just want to know if I’m wasting my time. Captain, do you think a trooper would send a message like that? Or am I drawing conclusions where there aren’t any?”

For a moment, all Rex did was stare back at you, maybe mulling over his answer, maybe considering you, personally. Maybe both. “I mean, it’s possible. Anything is, I suppose. It would have to be a clone with advanced training, like a commando, or an ARC, and of course, to even know the reference to a tiber piece, they’d have to be familiar with Alderaan Gambit in the first-”

Rex cut himself off, mouth clapping shut and eyes going wide again.

That’s when it hit you too.

“Echo,” you breathed, mind connecting this line and that rapidly. “Why didn’t I think of it before?” Something warm flickered in your chest, something small but blooming as you thought over the possibility of your beloved. 

Hope. It was a spark of hope. 

Your rambling continued as the blanks filled themselves in, “Echo used to talk about how he played Alderaan Gambit with- with you, Rex! How you used to come up with battle strategies together while playing. If he was captured, maybe they realized his strategic skills, and now-!”

The spark was fanning itself by this point.

“Now he’s trapped, somehow forced to help their own battle strategies. But he’s too smart to let them get away with it.”

“Stop.”

“And not to mention his ARC training would include advanced splicing, which he’d need to hack into their reports to alter them. He would have all the skills to send us a message. And he would-”

“Stop!”

The sharp firmness of Rex’s tone caught you off guard, words fumbling in your mouth as your mind came to a screeching halt. When your eyes snapped up to his, a hard expression that had taken over his features. It softened a little, but his gaze said it all and you felt oddly chastised under it. 

Echo is gone. Echo is dead.

That spark in your chest dimmed.

Then, Rex sighed and placed a hand on your shoulder. “You can’t do that to yourself, little one. Believe me.” He paused for a moment, perhaps thinking, maybe collecting himself. “You can’t… hold on to the dead. It will tear you up inside more than anything. More than the loss, more than the grief, even the memories. Holding on will hurt you most in the end.” 

The hand tightened a little, almost affectionate, almost… paternal. His eyes were soft and full of years of hard-earned experience. Years of his own grief, of his own loss.

“Echo wouldn’t want that for you. He would want you to let him go, so you can heal.” Rex let his hand fall, gaze fixed on his drink again and you found that you were swallowing a sour taste in your throat. “We all have to move on. It’s the only way we can survive.”

The lining of sorrow in his words was the water that doused the remainder of that spark. Hope melted away like snow on skin and it stung just the same.

Again you found yourself choking on something in your throat; the bitterness of rising tears.

The way Rex kept his eyes unfocused on his hands said all that needed to be said, so you stood rather abruptly. “I’m sorry for taking up your time, Captain. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

You thought he might have tilted his head back up to you as you turned to leave, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Besides that, he didn’t say or do anything as you walked away. There was a ringing in your ears as you went, and suddenly, wading through the crowd of patrons made your skin feel like it was on fire.

Everything was too loud now, the music pressing in on your ears, the lights burning your eyes. You felt dizzy as something else stung your eyes, that sour taste thickening in your throat as you burst through the doors. The stale city air did little to calm you, and you found yourself staggering to the side, trying to find any sort of privacy as your chest clawed itself with pain.

You had just ducked behind a row of speeder bikes when the tears broke free, a sob ripping your throat apart from the effort of holding it in. The sound bounced off the side of the building and echoed down the alley, just as the tears soaked into the permacrete without a care. 

The grief that had gotten better rolled over you like a tidal wave. Once again it pulled you under as if you hadn’t made any progress at all.

How could you be so stupid? How could you think that he was alive, that he had defied all odds and sent you some secret message? This wasn’t some romance novel, love and hope couldn’t change reality. Death didn’t just reverse because you begged it to. Stupid stupid stupid-

Once again your mind stalled as arms, warm and gentle, closed around you. Someone guided you to sit, calling your name so softly you almost couldn’t hear it over your own ragging thoughts. A hand tucked you close to an armored chest as they started a slow rocking motion with your bodies.

Stunned, you looked up past the armor and through the tears to find the kindest brown eyes you had seen since your last call with Echo.

“It’s alright, vod’ika,” he whispered, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Fives tucked your head under his chin, still rocking you as he rubbed your back and repeated his assurances.

The waves came again with a vengeance and this time, you let it happen. You curled into his embrace and wept, tears and sobs coming without restraint. It didn’t matter how long you two sat there like that, Fives held you the entire time. It didn’t matter that he was shipping out in the morning, he spent his night comforting you through every moment of the reopening wounds.

Hope was a dangerous thing. It hadn’t been a spark inside you, it had been a fire. 

And you know what they say about fire.

Tag List: @blueink-bluesoul @anxiouspineapple99 @starrylothcat @sinfulsalutations @commander-sunshine @dystopicjumpsuit @wolffegirlsunite @sunshinesdaydream @arcsimper5 @littlemissmanga @wings-and-beskar @clonemedickix

[mr-laveau]

Cu-wip-osity tag game >:D

@cash-n-prizes really told me to get my ass in gear and WELL, here I am so here we go!

rules: reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. let others ask questions about the ones that interest them, and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!

Tagging: there are too many people to tag and i don’t talk to that many people sooooo whoever wants can tag in. Trust me, I cannot tag that many people for this.

And Then there were three - SH, Angel & Baaabe

Roses n’ Thorns - Darlin/Quinn (past) - Darren(Darlin) used to be in a band with Quinn called Rose n’ Thorns. Yes, I did in fact write Darr being in a band with Quinn into his actual backstory, fuck timelines and canon, I do what I want.

Spell slot - Lovely(electro)/Vincent

Gotcha bitch! - Darlin/pack - poly Shaw pack - Darren (Darlin) has a breakdown when the pack throws him a surprise birthday party

In the face of eternity - Lovely(Vampire)

Who’s ya daddy? - SH/Milo (ft. Colm) - Sadhil (SH) realizes that he and Milo have daddy issues, except SH used to work for Milo’s daddy.

Pretty Girl(gn) Walk - Angel/Darlin/David(minor)

Self-portrait - Gavin/FL - Gavin has too many hobbies but this new one is fun.

Stellar Collapse - Starlight

Fed to the Wolves - David/Darlin

The importance of Couch sharing - Poly Shaw Pack - David/Darlin/Asher/Milo

Backup Generator - DAMN Polycule & Lovely(Vampire)/Vincent

Extra Lessons - Sam/FL/Darlin

Come Back to Haunt - David & SH

Do you have an appointment? - Sam/FL - R18

Hate to see em leave, Love to watch em go - Poly Shaw pack - Asher/Milo/David/Darlin - Asher and Milo talk about David & Darren (Darlin) behind their backs but they’re specifically talking about their behinds - R18

Sweet Dreams (are made of this) - Sunshine/Elliott

Dahlia Empowered Records & Profiles Department - audio project - Magnus Archives parody but make it Redacted

Honestly…no - David/Darlin

A Pack of Idiots - Poly Shaw Pack:

"I'm in love with Asher." David said. The room went quiet after that as Sadhil and Milo's eyes locked onto their alpha in disbelief–more specifically disbelief in the fact that David actually said the very thing that everyone in the pack would joke about when they saw him and his beta together in any capacity. The key word there being 'joked' because no one actually expected it to be true. Sadhil had the mind to question the statement further but got beat to the opportunity to speak. "Well no shit, Sherlock." Darren replied. "Took you that long to figure out?" Now eyes were going back and forth between Tank and David, the bigger wolf looking at the usually quiet shifter in bewilderment as they met his gaze with nonchalance. The investigator could already feel the tensions rising and if they knew both of their fellow pack members well enough then there'd be more to this. "What do you mean, long enough?" "–Darr means," Milo is the one to speak up this time, cutting off Tank from making anymore frank remarks and riling the other man up, "that we can all tell." "What?”

Running Memories - Darlin focused

Can You Roll a Charisma Check? - Lasko/Listener (pre-canon listener) - Lasko finds out that someone new has joined his DnD group and he’s definitely gonna have to roll high if he wants to impress them

Out for Blood - Sam/Darlin - R18

What if we all dated each other? - DAMN Polycule

In-Spectre - Yes I know that’s name of an anime, I’m being funny - SH/Milo:

"Why don't I take you dancin' some time?"  "You got two feet shorter than myself there, toots. You think you can keep up?" Sadhil smirks.

Bad Dog - (Dom) Darlin/ Sam - R18:

"Course not." The vampire huffs. "I know you better than that Darlin." "Do you really, doc?" Darren smiles as crosses his arms and slowly strides over to Sam from across the bar with a sly grin. "Because I know for a fact that there's a side to me you haven't met yet and he wants to make you beg like a hungry mutt." Sam Collins has never in his life wanted anything more than just to let his mate have their way with him right now. He doesn't have time to question why when the one thing racing in his mind is to let Darren use and abuse him like a bone for his wolf to chew on, and he'll be damned if he doesn't let tonight be the night for that to happen. "Where?" "As much as I would like to fuck you in one of the stalls here, I want your ass on a bed where I can have it to myself tonight."

Broke Back Mountain - Sam/Huxley

Ghostly Touches - Lasko/SH/Milo - R18

Don’t Hold Your Breath - DAMN Polycule

Two Birds - David/Darlin

Worth of Chance - SH & Colm

Sway - Vincent/Lovely 

Heart Strings - Asher/Baaabe/Darlin

Keeping Track of Things 1 & 2 - Darlin/Sam (feat. BE & Fred) 

Reset Button - Lovely(Vampire) & Sam

Ghosted - SH/Sam/Darlin

Parks & Recreation - Darlin/David

Anyways, have fun~

[why-so-serious-lucifer]

K-pop Discography Deep Dives: TXT

A Disclaimer: I was planning, when I first started Tumblr, to be a lurker, but then I began an office job and needed something to listen to to keep myself occupied. And then, I started going through entire K-pop groups’ repertoires, album by album, and jotting down my thoughts. And then, I stumbled into K-pop tumblr and decided, you know what, there’s at least four people on this hell site who would read in depth rants about these discographies and at least five who wouldn’t read it and then get mad because it’s kind of our job as K-pop fans. My lukewarm takes should be taken with an entire silo of salt and the knowledge that this is completely for fun and occupying my very bored, very neurodivergent brain. All this to say, for the love of god, I’m a sleep-deprived student and I don’t have time for internet hate, so don’t kill me. With that being said, enjoy!

Here are my credentials: yeah…none. I think the amount of TXT songs I know can be counted on one hand, and besides one, they’re all singles. But like with BTS, I’ve been a K-pop fan for four years and I figured that it was about time I make an effort to give them a try. It’s funny; I feel like with every girl group I cover I’m like “well obviously it was July 2017 because Joy had red hair” and with every boy group I’m like “um…are there seven or eight of them again?”

But I digress. TXT was formed in 2019, by Big Hit Entertainment, with five members (and yes, it’s five, I googled it, I promise), Yeonjun, Beomgyu, Heuning Kai, Soobin, and Taehyun, and they’ve been pretty popular since then, which is an achievement in and of itself, coming from an agency best known for the biggest boy group of all time.

They debuted with double title tracks, the first of which was Crown. With the somewhat moodier image they have now, I didn’t expect to think their debut so adorable, but that’s definitely the word I’d use. Despite them being a 4th generation group, the way this is shot, the bright colors, and the comic book drawings remind me very much of late 2nd, early 3rd gen, which hey, I’m not complaining. The song, fittingly, is upbeat and bubbly, very much pop with some synthy influence. Overall, I liked it, as a 2nd and 3rd fan, but something about it doesn’t leave that much of an impact on me. Maybe it’s that I’m not the biggest fan of very young-sounding music, and this is a little too reminiscent of Chewing Gum by NCT Dream for my liking.

Cat + Dog is also from this first EP, and basically all of the comments I had for Crown repeat here, though I did like Crown more. I know that this is more me than the song, but something about this one just…creeped me out?, in a way that Crown didn’t. I know that they were young when this came out (between 16 and 19), but they’re acting like they’re 10 and it’s a bit unnerving. From the EP The Dream Chapter: Star, I liked the calmer but still poppy beat of Our Summer, though I wish it was a little slower to stand out from the other songs in the album more.

Run Away is a song I’d already heard from TXT, but I like it more in the context of their work thus far. It’s still pop, still full of that youthful energy and hope, but leans into an ethereal and nostalgic feeling, and overall feels a lot more suited to them as older teenagers. It has some good humor, and both its Harry Potter references and its message of running away from the monotony and cruelty of the real world with your friends turns it into something universal.

From The Dream Chapter: Magic, I enjoyed the odd percussion and the melodic chanting in New Rules, the gentle vocals in Magic Island, and the sweet love story between childhood friends in 20 CM. My favorite was probably Can’t We Just Leave The Monster Alive, for the interesting trope deconstruction and its encouragement of taking your own path in life.

Can’t You See Me starts with some interesting almost-stop-motion in its ruffling pages, and I couldn’t decide where I thought it was going to go. At first, it combines both the young love idea of Crown and the themes of magic and isolation from the world from Run, which work pretty well, but it soon devolves into something resembling a cry for help with its unusual structure and odd vocal fry segways. It leans very into ethereal, while speaking about the dark side of a friendship gone bad. It took me a couple listens to make up my mind, but I do like this one.

From The Dream Chapter: Eternity, I had two standouts in Fairy of Shampoo and Maze In The Mirror. Fairy of Shampoo (despite the odd name) feels a bit like floating with its citypop synth and jazzy background, and I wish it’d been promoted as a special single instead of Puma. Maze In The Mirror is another song here that was written by the members themselves about their time as trainees, the difficulties they faced, and their friendship. As I’ve said before, some of my favorite songs in k-pop are this kind of acoustic, genuine b-sides that convey such honest emotions, so of course I loved this one.

Blue Hour’s very calm vocalizing and acoustics caught me off guard before the synths I was expecting came in, and I found myself nodding my head. Like with Run, I appreciated the brightness and humor here much more than I did in the first couple of songs because I thought it was better balanced here without overdoing it on the aegyo. It’s not a world-changing song, but I did have a good time with it and it made me laugh a few times (especially with that cowboy hat because what on earth were they thinking).

Minisode 1: Blue Hour reminds me a lot of BTS’ ON album, down to having a song about COVID (in this case the aptly titled We Lost The Summer), which I can’t bring myself to actually critique because of how sweet it is, though in the year of the whoever 2023 I wince to remember 2020. Besides it, I loved the airy vocals and video game esque synthy production on Ghosting and the anthemic chorus in Wishlist.

0X1=Lovesong was another song I had already heard of TXT’s, because I happen to be a fan of Seori, who’s featured on this track, and I have to say that my biggest gripe with the track is that she’s just not featured enough, but that’s really the only criticism I have of this one. I confess that I love this song, and it was actually the reason I wanted to do this review. Remember how I called Wishlist anthemic? Well, clearly I don’t know the meaning of the word, or didn’t until I heard this song. It takes TXT’s youthful energy and pairs it with a full on alt-rock ballad. It feels like a follow-up to Run with its immaculate roadtrip energy, and though the verses are a bit slow, that chorus is just a knockout and just makes me want to be a kid again, grab my best friend’s hand, and run for the goddamn hills. Probably won’t be lighting a car on fire, though, sorry.

Far be it from me to dissuade from some extra drama, but LO$ER=LOVER…well, it’s giving full on “when I was…a young boy…my father took me into the city…”. No but really, I want to think that this level of ridiculousness is some kind of intentional My Chemical Romance parody, because it’s honestly hilarious. It has some of that anthemic quality that I so loved in Lovesong, but that great build-up in the front half of the chorus is just undercut by a lack of payoff and the abject silliness that is “I’m a loser, I’m a loser, lover with a dollar sign is a loser.” I think that I would like this more if I was sure that the joke is intentional, but I’m honestly not sure that it is. Either way, they’re clearly having a lot of fun with this, so it’s tough to dislike.

From The Chaos Chapter: Fight or Escape, I have a lot to talk about, since it’s such a long album. Firstly, I already knew the chorus of Anti-Romantic due to its popularity, but I liked it more in context with the rest of the song. No Rules (which I assume is a follow-up to New Rules) has a great beat and in my humble opinion, there’s never enough disco. MOA Diary, a song for their fans, is very sweet and I can totally see it being a crowd favorite at a concert; I loved the harmonizing. Dear Sputnik was probably my favorite though; it’s another song written by one of the members and has an excellent alt-rock drive that totally should’ve made it be the single instead of LO$ER=LOVER.

Good Boy Gone Bad had me wincing before it even began, because the title already hints towards more non-self aware drama. And it turns out my instincts were right, because while LO$ER=LOVER is so ridiculous it’s basically camp, Good Boy Gone Bad just had me rolling my eyes and wondering not why the good boy had in fact gone bad but why I had to hear about it. Also why Yeonjun was driving a motorcycle in a faux fur coat, but that’s a story for another time.

From the EP Thursday’s Child, which is the second “minisode”, I liked the intro Opening Sequence more than I expected, mostly due to the charisma in their vocals, which really do the heavy lifting in such a minimalistic song. I also enjoyed Trust Fund Baby (give it a chance, I know the title doesn’t inspire confidence), again due to the strength of their vocals and the emotion they carry, when singing a song about a relationship that’s ended due to poverty. This is overall a very melancholy EP, a sharp contrast to Blue Hour’s optimism. Even the more synthy Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go isn’t totally upbeat, but as an album closer, it does hold a little hope that things won’t always be bleak and ended up being my favorite.

Sugar Rush Ride is, thankfully, a return to the synthy, ethereal, upbeat sound that has become TXT’s signature for its verses and pre-choruses, but for some reason opts for a very simple whistling hook and an incredibly jarring anti-drop chorus instead of resolving its great build-up. The bridge, likewise, feels harsh in what’s otherwise a calm song, and honestly, I find this song more disappointing than I would if it used a style I hate throughout, because I really enjoy the greater part of it…but I just can’t get past that chorus.

From The Name Chapter: Temptation, there’s three b-sides I want to talk about. Devil By The Window is a fully English song, which normally I would complain about, as I often do. But this one’s actually really good; it’s tense, attention-grabbing, and has a very taut arrangement. Also, this is probably me reading too much into it, but the chorus is giving me such queer energy (“I met the devil by the window, traded my life, temptation touched my tongue, spread the wings of desire. He’s whispering ‘give up, don’t you put up a fight.’”). But…c’mon guys, maybe I’ve missed something, but last time I checked straight people don’t get seduced by random devils of the same gender standing near their window, but hey, how should I know?

Besides that, I also liked the acoustic guitar in the pop-rock Farewell, Neverland and the chill vocals here as they sing goodbye both to a childhood lover and to childhood as a whole. Tinnitus (Wanna Be A Rock) pleasantly surprised me with its Afro-pop influences, because it’s not a common pairing in k-pop and I was surprised by how well it works here. Also, apparently some of the members wrote both of these, so kudos!

Do It Like That is an English-language collaboration with the Jonas Brothers, and between its very mainstream pop sound, the English, and its beat, I admit that it gave me war flashbacks to Dynamite. Here is where I invoke my disclaimer of: Dynamite is not a bad song (see my way-too-long BTS review for a whole two paragraphs of thoughts on that), but k-pop doesn’t need to try and replicate it. I know that this is totally down to my own bias, because Do It Like That isn’t a bad song either, but I won’t be returning to whatever concerningly white void they filmed this in anytime soon.

Back For More is another English-language collaboration, this time with Brazilian singer Anitta. I was preparing myself for another paragraph of disclaimers and having to do some overly dramatic sighing, but actually, I liked this! It feels like any other TXT single with its disco influences and catchy beat, just in another language, as it should be. I also appreciate that they collaborated with a Latin pop star, who sings in both English and her own language too, which made it feel less like a cop-out. The first time I heard this one, it was the shortened version that they performed at the VMAs, but the longer version with the bridge really elevates the song and I’m glad I watched it. It’s not my favorite but I’m not going to throw a tantrum if it comes on.

Chasing That Feeling is from their latest comeback just a month or so ago. I was feeling optimistic from the first verse’s beat, although after being burned by Sugar Rush Ride, I was still a bit wary. But, thankfully, Chasing That Feeling does what it predecessors didn’t do: it delivers, with those head-bopping synths, citypop influences, and electronic background. I admit that I wish it had a bit more of a climax and went against the grain, but it’s hard to not be won ever when a song’s chorus starts by saying “I’ve turned my back on heaven” and telling fate “come on and kiss me”.

The Name Chapter: Freefall is another full length album, so I have a lot of highlights. I loved the exploration of a harsher version of rock mixed with metal in the teen angst driven Growing Pain, which their voices were surprisingly suited to. I also enjoyed the vulnerability and slowing rising vocals in Deep Down’s pre-chorus, the acceptance that “life is not a fairytale” but is still worth living in Happily Ever After, and the moody Skipping Stones, which tells the listener not to be too hard on themselves, because what they’re going through will pass. I think that Skipping Stones was also written by the members themselves.

So, I enjoyed this more than I expected! I confess that I did expect something similar to BTS, which is probably unfair given the fact that besides having the same company, they have nothing to do with each other. Calm down, I’m not laminating my stan card just yet. I’m not a MoA, but I think that I could probably consider myself at least a casual fan after this. We’ll see how it goes. Maybe the next comeback will absolutely blow me away.

My Top 5 songs are Lovesong, Run Away, Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go, Dear Sputnik, and Maze In The Mirror, with Skipping Stones as an honorable mention. TXT gets an 8.75 out of 10 from me, which, again, is a surprise for both of us. I do love synth, rock pop, and disco, and I’m excited by the fact that they’ve already written a bunch of songs. Here’s hoping that they keep getting better and they end up getting as much creative freedom as some entirely self-produced groups.

We’ll be covering a girl group next week (that was supposed to be a one parter but accidentally became two posts long, oops), so stay tuned! Tschüss!

[beauty-and-passion]

Eurovision 2023: 38 songs, first impressions

Wake up, bitches, it’s Eurovision time… AGAIN!

There’s only one word I can use to describe my first listening of the year of those 38 songs and it’s “surprising”. I was surprised. In more ways than one.

So let’s not waste any more time and let’s talk about these songs.

As per every year, obligatory disclaimer: I have listened to these songs just once, so do not take my words as my final decision. I can still change my mind, after listening to them more times. But for now, here are my thoughts.

__________

ITALY

I know half of Italy will kill me and the other half will tell me I understand nothing, but I don’t particularly like Mengoni. He’s not a bad singer, he has a good voice and the song isn’t bad either. It’s just... okay. Maybe the chorus could’ve been more powerful. Maybe he could’ve written something different than another love song. I just don’t particularly vibe with it.

Vote: just okay

__________

LATVIA

Well, since he asked so kindly, I won’t wake up and I’ll keep sleeping during this boring song.

Vote: Be careful what you ask for

__________

UNITED KINGDOM

Here’s the first surprise of this year. The UK sent a great song: not just a good one, not just an okay one. A great one. And I love it! It has a lot of 90s dance vibes, but only the best ones and I approve.

Also, I love that this song is a revenge. Why feel bad or make a scene, when you can expose your cheating boyfriend through a song everyone can listen/dance to? Way to go, queen.

Vote: Revenge is best served in the UK

__________

SLOVENIA

Last year’s song was a snoozefest, this year is way better. I still forgot it after my first listening and it’s not in my top 10 either, but at least I can listen to it more than once without falling asleep.

Also, extra points for singing again in their native language. Great job, Slovenia, you deserve points just for that.

Vote: singing in your language should automatically give you access to the finals. That’s the rule, I decided it

__________

ICELAND

That’s not a bad song, but it’s something already listened to. I mean, at first I thought it was Sweden’s entry, because of how generic it sounded.

At least it’s better than last year.

Vote: I miss the BDSM club from two years ago

__________

CROATIA

A sudden vibe. Mentions of mothers and tractors. Armageddon-granny. Morons. I glanced at the video and saw a Stalin-looking guy. Funny weirdos dancing. The fricking alphabet. The war. And then, the line: “That little psychopath”. And I was like: wait, is this a parody of Stalin?

And then, I started laughing.

It was pretty clear that there’s more than meets the eye in this song. So I searched for the meaning and found an interesting article on the Eurovision website, in which the band explained just a few details - like the tractor line: it is actually a reference to Belarus and Russia’s relationship (read it, it’s quite interesting).

I know some stupid people (read: the jury) won’t appreciate this song and that’s a shame because it deserves love. It follows the “Keep the Eurovision weird” memo, it has funny people, biting satire and all the vibes. What else do you need?

Vote: top 5 because I Say So

__________

PORTUGAL

Please remember that, when I listen to these songs the first time, I put the playlist on and do my chores while listening. So when I listened to this one, I thought it was very interesting and what a nice rhythm! That’s definitely an east European country. But which one?

And then, to my utter surprise, I checked the video title and saw it was Portugal’s entry.

I’ve always hated everything Portugal sent, because if it wasn’t bad, it was the most boring thing known to mankind.

But this year, a miracle happened. They finally (FINALLY!) sent a good song. A song with a rhythm and their own language.

I am baffled. What happened in Portugal? Did they wake up from a dream? Did everyone just regain their hearing? Did someone teach them what “rhythm” is?

Vote: A Christmas miracle in May! A Christmas miracle!

__________

MALTA

The sax got my attention, the rhythm kept me around.

Good job, Malta boy.

Vote: Maltese people are sorcerers because they always bring a good song.

__________

ROMANIA

Just to give you an idea of how forgettable is this song: when I finished listening to all 38 songs, I forgot it even existed. And I didn’t even realize it was Romania’s entry, until I checked again to write this post.

Vote: I miss the vampires

__________

POLAND

It’s not a bad song. It has a good rhythm, but it’s not this incredible. It’s just... okay?

I know I said this before, but this song also sounds like something I listened to before, so it’s only fitting.

Vote: I thought it was a bad entry from Spain. It ended up being a mediocre one from Poland

__________

SAN MARINO

That’s very kind of San Marino to bring something that will go to the bottom of the chart.

Vote: Someone should occupy those positions, after all

__________

AUSTRIA

A song about Edgar Allan Poe: this alone deserves top 5.

But if that’s not enough for you, the lyric is also a satire of the music industry and the rhythm is just too catchy to ignore it. Everyone should appreciate it.

Vote: Top 5 now

__________

AUSTRALIA

The song was bringing me joy, then the screamo moment gave me even more joy.

Great singer, great rhythm, great band, great everything. After some weak years, Australia brought back a great song and I’m in love once again.

Vote: the most European country of all shows us why we made a good choice inviting it to our party

__________

SERBIA

This is the second song about sleeping but while the first one made me want to go to bed, this one got my attention.

Also, it’s probably a reference to the current political situation - so the feeling is much more understandable.

In addition to that, the song has a perfect mix of creepiness, awareness and weirdness. And the lyric isn’t entirely in English either, which is always appreciated.

Vote: What did I say before? Native language -> instant finals. And this one is weird and interesting, so it deserves a good position too

__________

CZECH REPUBLIC

My sister won't stand in the corner Nor will she listen to you

I think these first two lines are enough to explain this song, its meaning and why it was blocked in Russia and Belarus 4 hours after the premiere.

If it’s not enough, consider that this song isn’t just in Czech, but in FOUR languages. It has parts in Ukrainian, Bulgarian and English too. It’s a literal Slavic hymn to the Slavic family.

And if it’s still not enough, then there’s also a great rhythm that will instantly get your attention.

This song doesn’t deserve the top because I say it, but because it’s a magnificent love letter to a Slavic country from its sister and a powerful scream against war.

Vote: This should be the winner. Period

__________

ISRAEL

The first mention of a unicorn made me think maybe I heard it wrong. The second mention left me puzzled.

And in the end, she didn’t even end up with a unicorn horn on her forehead. I’m disappointed.

Vote: I miss Czech already

__________

SWEDEN

As said before, when I listen to these songs for the first time, I don’t check the name or the country: I just put the playlist on. So when I listened to this one, I thought: “man, this is bad. The poor singer can’t even spell the words or reach her notes”.

Then I glanced at the video, read the name and found out it was Loreen.

I know half of the world will probably kill me, but I don’t like Loreen. I don’t think she’s this good. I’d much rather listen to a singer who can spell words and not mumble them for three minutes. She has good vocals, fine, but the words - or even the letters are non-existent. I have to read subtitles to understand what she’s trying to say. And she’s talking in English, not in some weird language.

But even if she spoke in another language… how’s that possible I can’t understand A SINGLE LETTER? I can understand letters in languages I don’t know, why she’s the only one I can’t understand? What, I’m deaf only to her? Or she’s the one who’s not able to properly spell words?

And before any of you says anything: I know she did the same during Euphoria, but at least I could get some words during the chorus. This time? I literally have no idea what she said. I can’t even tell you a single letter. Not a word, a LETTER. To me, she sounds drunk. Or like a person who doesn’t know English and is trying to repeat the words of an English song, without knowing them.

The world loves her and she will probably get a high position in the final chart because her and because Sweden is everyone’s favourite even when it brings trash. But if someone from another country brought this, they would never go past the semifinals. Just saying.

Vote: stop mumbling, sis, I can’t understand a single thing

__________

FRANCE

Great song, again! Amazing rhythm, lyrics in French (as they should rightfully be), and a singer with a lot of style. It deserves a good place and lots of love.

Vote: flat hat my beloved

__________

THE NETHERLANDS

The Netherlands did a miracle last year and brought a wonderful song in their own language. This year they forgot everything they learned and brought a generic ballad in English.

Next.

Vote: :(

__________

ARMENIA

She wrote a song for her future lover. And maybe it’s her voice, maybe it’s the softness of the chorus, but I like the soft, innocent vibes it gives me.

Not my personal favorite, but it’s a heartwarming song with a nice rhythm and I don’t feel like making too much fun of it.

Vote: we can have a soft song, once in a while. As a treat

__________

FINLAND

Thank goddess, one of the Nordics got the memo to sing in their language and Finland delivered it with a great song!

The rhythm is on point, it makes you want to dance and the lyric is in Finnish, which makes me very happy, because I don’t remember having listened to it before.

Vote: what a pleasant surprise!

__________

SPAIN

The title itself is a noise, the song contributed to it.

It gave me a headache and it’s a shame because the rhythm is good, it’s in Spanish and it could’ve been way more enjoyable with fewer vocals.

Vote: EYAYAYEYAYYEAYEAYEYAEYAEAE

__________

GEORGIA

I had the biggest deja-vu while listening to this song because it sounds like something I’ve already listened but I don’t remember exactly when.

I just remember it sounded better from start to end and not only during the chorus.

Vote: could’ve been better

__________

LITHUANIA

Thank you, Lithuania, for bringing your language once again. I truly appreciate it - even if it’s mixed with English.

If you bring a good song too next time, I would be even more grateful.

Vote: after Portugal’s miracle, I believe everyone can bring a good song

__________

UKRAINE

When I listened to it, I thought it was Sweden. And then, to my utter surprise, it was Ukraine.

The guy is a good singer. And I checked the lyric too: pretty good, message loud and clear.

But that’s not the Ukrainian rhythm. It has nothing of Ukraine, except for a few lines. And I know they probably wanted something different, but this… this is too bland and generic. This is forgettable, while the previous years have been amazing.

I don’t know, maybe they didn’t want to win again, but just to deliver a powerful message?

Vote: it could’ve been way WAY better, considering it’s coming from Ukraine

__________

SWITZERLAND

Last year, Switzerland brought a song that was more of a torture, rather than a song. This year, they learned from their mistakes and gave us something amazing.

The singer is young, but he has a mature voice and a powerful message. The lyric is perfect in its simplicity. And the rhythm isn’t bad either.

Vote: good job, Switzerland! A couple of years like this and I may forgive you for that torture you brought last year

__________

AZERBAIJAN

And there it is, my second deja-vu. I am sure I already listened to this song once, the rhythm is just too familiar.

Vote: Not cool, Azerbaijan. Not cool.

__________

GREECE

Greece should be banished from Eurovision, until they learn they should bring the Greek language and Balkan rhythm back. Until that moment, they don’t deserve anything, especially if they deliver this boring ball of nothing.

Vote: at least this guy seems Greek, unlike the Nordic girl from last year

__________

CYPRUS

It’s another English song and it has nothing of the Balkan rhythm. AND YET, it’s better than the Greek one.

Vote: it’s still possible to write a good song if you try. And at least Cyprus is trying

__________

ALBANIA

It’s very... Albanian. And not in a bad way! The rhythm, the lyric, everything screams Albania and it does it in a way that makes this song interesting and worth listening to more times.

Vote: maybe not my favorite, but definitely more interesting than Greece and Cyprus

__________

BELGIUM

90s vibes again. And, once again, the best ones only.

Vote: Belgium always makes something worth the finals

__________

GERMANY

Germany finally realized what Eurovision is about: blood and glitter. And rock. And fire. And weirdness. And a surprisingly wholesome song.

I am in love with everything.

Vote: Germany is finally learning and I am proud of them

__________

IRELAND

Man-Curtain left Australia to reach Ireland and brought a song much more interesting compared to last year’s.

Vote: Ireland and Belgium, they always have an interesting entry

__________

MOLDOVA

And here to the left, you can see two of Eurovision’s most beloved traditions: Moldova bringing something weird/good and a song about a rave in the forest.

Moldova delivered hard and this song is immediately top 3. The rave, the vibes, the rhythm, the flute, accompanied by a good-looking guy and stunning women: everything is on point.

I'm in love.

Vote: Moldova always understands the assignment

__________

NORWAY

Two months ago I was on the internet, minding my own business, when I saw an AMV with a great song. I immediately fell in love and put it in my personal playlist. It was interesting and with great vibes how could I ignore it?

Now imagine my surprise when this song started and hey, the first notes sound familiar. Then the singer drops the first “she” and I immediately jumped up and said: “Wait, is this Queen of Kings?!”

So… do I like it? Heck, I liked this song even before knowing it was Norway’s entry, of course I like it! It’s one of my favorites! And yes, I still love it.

Vote: my opinion might change about the other songs, but be sure it won’t change about this one

__________

DENMARK

This guy is apparently a Tiktoker and this explains why the lyric sounds so perfect for that app and so bland in general.

It doesn’t explain why he looks so bored, tho.

Vote: when he bit his lip I cringed so hard, it went around the world and hit me again in the back

__________

ESTONIA

She has a great voice. But hey, some years ago Estonia sent a female soprano singer, so I suppose that great female voices are a must for them.

Also, the song is very nice, the rhythm is good and the message is good too. I would like to see it in the finals.

Vote: the piano isn’t on fire. But hey, at least it’s covered in roses.

[ay-chuu]

Hii congratulations on reaching 300 followers! I would love to participate in your event. Can i request one for BSD?

MBTI: INTJ

Zodiac sign (gonna add my moon and rising sign too bc why not 👀): Capricorn Sun, Aquarius Moon & Gemini Rising

Hobbies: reading, dancing, playing video games, listening to music, puzzles, finding interesting shows/movies to watch, daydreaming

Phobias: the ones i can think of is thalassophobia and fear of spiders

Likes: thunderstorms, surprises, gifts, music, having fun, helping others, history, delicious food, learning new things, making others laugh, traveling, excitement

Dislikes: nosy people, being told what to do, naggers, hot weather, being forced to be somewhere or with someone i don't like, feeling stuck, conflict, routine, limitations, close-minded people, lack of freedom

Ideal male type: definitely someone with a sense of humor. someone intelligent, creative and kind. someone that accepts me for who i truly am and i'd accept them just the way they are too.

Gender/pronouns: female & she/her

Aaaand lastly, for the topic i pick the most special moment!

I hope i followed all the rules and again congratulations! ❤️

Thank you so much love, have a perfect day! 🌼😼

I match you with... (っ＾▿＾)💨

SIGMA!

The biggest reason why I matched you is that you both want to live freely and happily together in your own little safe space, away from people. This bond that holds you together is like glue and always increases your respect for each other.

Sigma likes that you are both lively and introverted. You remind him that no matter how disgusting the world is, there can always be rare angels who are like a treasure. The biggest proofs of this are that you accept each other as you are and that you always hold on to each other no matter what happens. (In other words, the biggest proof is... you <3)

Sigma may not be a very funny person, but that doesn't mean you don't laugh all the time when you're with him. You know those people who has weird acts and reactions that are hilarious, even if they're not funny in personal? Sigma is one of them. Other than that, the things you don't like are mostly common. He also hates loud people, not feeling like he belongs somewhere and feeling used. That's why you are each other's comfort person <3

Although I cannot say anything in the horoscope sense, INTJ and INFJ are compatible and passionate couples in the intellectual and intuitive sense. They generally complement each other in all kinds of harmony, both in my business life and in love.

Some moments I dreamed of for you two;

A waltz dance in the forest before sunrise, baking cookies that look like your faces together, a kiss shared with a view on top of a mountain, and smothering him with words of love under the blanket while Sigma's tears cover your shoulder <3

A special moment:

Seeing Sigma's excitement , was a rare moment for you. The way he walked around you like a dog wagging his tail and brought the chocolate chips to you the moment you asked made you giggle involuntarily.

It made you very happy to have him walk around you while you were preparing the cookie dough together. Sigma was someone who could neither get too excited nor be too happy under the living conditions he lived in.

He was used as a machine. He's like an encyclopedia. An object that is valuable only when needed.

But when he was with you, Sigma felt like he was the most important alive thing in the world, the most important being... no, the most important human to ever live. He wasn't an object to you who was ostracized, used, or treated differently than he wanted to be. Next to you he was just Sigma and your lover. Maybe that's why even a simple act like making cookies was so peaceful, happy and exciting for him. He would be one with his favorite person and his favorite food. A peaceful night spent on the couch, with cookies and maybe... milk. What else could make him happier in this cruel world? (Maybe marrying and live a future with you.....)

"Okay, my love. The cookies should bake for 45 minutes. Meanwhile, I'll clean up the kitchen. Wait for me in the living room, okay?" You said as you wiped your hands on your apron and prepared the oven.

Sigma shook his head as no, he came behind you, hugged you and kissed your neck. Oh, how he loved it when you loved him even with your smallest actions. "I'll help you, dear."

The 45 minutes had passed quickly as the two of you cleaned up the kitchen and warmed milk for the cookies. Sigma was listening to your conversation as you went to the couch together, cuddled up and enjoyed your cookies. Just you, him and the cookies. And your sweet voice.

Humanity is a very new concept for Sigma. Being able to comprehend the existence of mind and soul, and being able to feel it despite being born from a book, are not only new for Sigma, they are concepts that he cannot understand. But the only thing he understands and is sure so far is that as long as your love is with him, he will always cease to be an object. He will always be a human being <3

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi could I get a romantic matchup for Haikyuu

Pronouns are she/her and I have a preference for men. Could I also ask for a mini fic of any kind like whatever you think of. I’m not sure if it’s part of this specific event but it was on your matchup rules. If not that’s totally fine!

Also please let me know if I forgot to include something!

Ideal First date: My dream date is probably at an amusement park (Disneyland maybe) because it was the highlight of my childhood and allows me to not act like I have a stick up my ass all the time and have fun LMAO. I’d prefer it over just a dinner date or a movie because it’s more fun. I also just think amusement parks are romantic and in a sucker for cute fluffy cliche stuff. In general though I would enjoy any date that shows that he put thought and effort into it and actually values the time I’m spending with him. (Like instead of just saying “let’s hang out. What do you want to do”, be like “hey when are you available this week? Saturday? Ok be ready at 7 on Saturday”. I like that because it shows initiative and interest). Also if we are meeting each other somewhere don’t be late I will leave. So overall any date that’s fun, shows effort, interest, and shows that he actually took the time to think about my personality and what I’d like.

Personality: INTJ 3w4. I’m introverted and calm most of the time. I can be socially awkward but if I prepare myself or plan beforehand I can be very charming. I'm really analytical and am good at finding loopholes and working around problems under pressure. But I can also overthink a lot of things and plan out too much of my interactions with people. I'm not good with emotional support and can come across a little cold because of that but I usually try my best to understand the other person and their needs. I hate small talk and I like people who are blunt and logical but also have emotional intelligence. However, I cannot deal with overly emotional people who are extremely dramatic and make a big deal of their feelings when a situation can be logically resolved much more quickly and peacefully. I'm not that expressive (outwardly at least because I'm actually really emotional I just hide it well) and have a hard time relaxing or enjoying things because I've been conditioned to always consider how it will look on mine and my family's reputation. I'm a perfectionist and hold myself to very high standards and I can sometimes be very critical of others because of my high expectations. I constantly chase perfection for myself and try to be the most idealized version of myself but these standards cause me to be extremely hard on myself when it comes to falling short of my expectations or making mistakes. I’m very understanding, fair, and extremely loyal. I’d literally take a bullet for my friends but I also expect the same kind of loyalty in return. I’m very devoted to my principles and can often have a hard time forgiving people if they do something I find to be fundamentally wrong according to my principles. I have trust issues with romance but when I fall in love I fall really hard and I’m very romantic (im a songwriter so I’ll literally write lyrics about them and draw them and stuff). A lot of people don’t realize how deeply I feel things because I don’t show it on the surface. I’ve also been told I seem intimidating until someone gets to know me. Some of my dealbreakers are: misogyny (when people especially men undermine my intelligence and experience and end up making a mistake I warned them about only to listen when another man repeats the same thing l've been saying since the beginning), big egos with nothing to back it up, people who can't keep up with me (I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose hand I have to hold all the time. They need to be on the same level/wavelength as me and not drag me down), being a coward and not standing up for your own beliefs/motives, people that are way too nice (whoever I end up with has to have a mean streak because it shows they are able to take action when needed. How are they going to support and protect me if they can’t even stand up for themselves when needed.), being self absorbed and not considering the consequences of your actions, people who have a moral superiority complex that think they're better for not wanting to break rules to get what they want, and people who can't take responsibility for their actions. (I would respect someone whose honest about being a bad person a lot more than I respect someone who tries to come across as kind and caring all the time no matter what. It’s like that Jack sparrow quote, “I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid”. I fully agree with him. I also have a short temper when people act like the things I mentioned, or if I’m in a situation where people are being inefficient or wasting my time but if people communicate effectively I’ll be very patient and help them come up with a way to deal with their situation.

Hobbies/ Likes: I love music. I make my own music and music is probably the thing I love the most. It's really what I use to process the world so music is definitely the way to my heart. My all time favorite band is Buck-Tick and I love dark wave/goth music like Depeche Mode. However I literally listen to everything so it’s hard to say a single genre I like more than others. I can't play any instruments but I also make my own music. (Shameless self promo but here’s my new song) I'm a good artist but I don't like doing it on a deadline. I've gotten back into drawing recently tho. I've also been doing martial arts since I was 7 + fencing. I'm good at chess and poker and made money from playing/betting on games when I was younger. I also love reading.

I love fashion and ive been modeling since I was 14. I also did some pageants as a kid. As for my style, I can’t pick a specific vibe or aesthetic because I think I’m simultaneously goth, preppy, athletic, and nerdy. It just depends on how I feel. The only common trait is whatever I wear will always look great😌. I tend to wear darker colors though but I also really like y2k and I have a bunch of lavender juicy tracksuits and stuff (I love purple). I also switch between wanting to look more masculine and androgynous or more glam and feminine. Sometimes I think of a song I want to look like and pick an outfit based on the song. My style is very bold and sometimes flamboyant and I love being admired and complimented. I may not be very social but I instead attract attention with how I present myself. I’m Indian but a lot of people have said I look like Atsushi Sakurai when he was younger.

I don’t want to be paired with nishinoya, tanaka, or hinata I don’t think I’d get along with them that well.

notes 💌: GURL I LOVE YOUR CONFIDENCE OMG! I love seeing confident people like you and btw that song SLAPS! Cant wait to see what else you make in the future!! thanks so much for participating in my event and i hope you have an amazing valentine's day this year!! <3

THE CHARACTER CUPID CHOOSES FOR YOU THIS VALENTINE’S DAY IS…

KUROO!!

he's kinda the opposite when it comes to you being introverted

he is definitely not a shy guy

he's super social, but he will NEVER force you into a social situation if you dont want any part of it

he likes that you have a charming side. and he especially likes that you have that charming side around him <3

HE LOVES THAT YOU ARE SO PREPARED FOR SITUATIONS

like seeing you be this very prepares and thoughtful person has him head over heels for you

he finds that part about you very attractive

he will definitely encourage you not to overthink though

overthinking can be AWFUL and leave nothing but bad thoughts sometimes, so he sure can help when you think you've bumped into a really bad area in your overthinking journey

he is just always here for you

luckily, you dont really need to worry about his emotional health, he knows how to handle when things go downhill, but know that if he really needs your help, he will ask

he will support you if you do the same as a relationship should be

he very much has his shit together

he is very logical and emotionally intelligent so you have a good man on your hands

he is super calm about his feelings and again, knows how to deal with bad situations on his own

he knows that you have a perfectionist side about you and sometimes you two can butt heads because of it

mostly because he doesnt want you thinking that you need to be perfect

imperfections are what he loves and to see you hating on them makes him upset

so just know that you're getting a man who will show you A LOT of his love

he will be 100% loyal to you and to know that he has that in return makes him LITERALLY SO IN LOVE OMG

literally both of you are so in love fr

and if you wrote a song about him he would probably lose it tbh

like he cant believe that you love him that much, but he is so over the moon about it

he thinks it is super romantic that you are able to show your feelings that way to him and he's glad you have that outlet

so he 100% supports your music

he actually didnt think you were intimidating and that's why yall fit LMFAO

you two just liked each other right off the bat

you two definitely make fun of oikawa and his huge ass ego LMFAO

you two get through arguments and stuff very well

and very logically

it's wonderful and SUPER HEALTHY

like people around you are JEALOUS omg

sing to him or just play music around him

that's his comfort time for sure

he also loves how confident you are, it really makes him love and support you even more and means there's nothing that he has to do unless you really need it and he will latch onto you the moment you need help

he loves the way you dress and present yourself and wants you to help him dress just as cool lol

literally thinks your a stunning and wonderfully smart partner and wouldnt ask for anyone else <3

💌 HOW WOULD HE ASK YOU TO BE HIS VALENTINE??

simply, he would just ask you upfront. you would be doing some work and get an unexpected little kiss on the head from kuroo when he asks: "wanna be my valentine?"

💌 VALENTINE’S DAY DATE

"Are you open Valentine's day?" Kuroo asked you, looking at his own calendar, his computer open in front of him. You checked your schedule, the 14th completely free. "Yeah, why?" Kuroo smiled at you and walked over, placing a kiss onto your cheek. "Because you and I are going to Disneyland on the 14th." "Really?!" You exclaimed, feeling like a kid again. "Of course we are! I know how much you love it and you haven't been in a really long time, so why not? Plus, I've never been myself, so I think it would be a good time." "You've never been?" "Nope, not once." Kuroo walked back to his computer and ordered the tickets, getting excited. "Well, you're gonna love it. Man, it's been so long." You laid back on your bed and smiled at the ceiling. "Kuroo, you're the best." "Aw, you're too sweet, y/n." He ordered the tickets and walked over to you, pulling you into his arms. "I'm excited. Just the two of us and a really stupidly fun day." --- When you two ended up in Disneyland again, you couldn't help but feel overjoyed. It's like all the stresses of life disappeared, and here you were in the most magical place on earth. You showed Kuroo all of your favorite rides and ordered all of your favorite foods. Kuroo even ended up getting you something special from the gift shop. You showed him the best time that he's had in a long time and he did just the same for you. Hours passed and you couldn't stop all of the fun. Lots of small jokes from Kuroo and loving giggles from you. At dinner, the two of you were seated at one of the best places at the park to eat and a smile was stuck on your lips. "Thanks for taking me here, Kuroo." "No need to thank me. Thank you for having fun." A special Valentine's dessert came to the table and the two of you smiled. "Happy Valentine's Day." You said in unison. <3

~~~~~

mystery date rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[artistcaptainbendy]

Tagged by @tornrose24 for the tag game. Let’s go this! 

Rules: if you get tagged in this, answer the questions that are written and make sure to swap out one question at the end of it for the next person to answer.      

1. Are you named after anyone? Yes, I'm named after my dad and aunt. My name is a fusion of their names and I have my grandma’s middle name. 

2. Do you ever go window shopping on sites like Etsy, and if so, what kinds of things do you look at?  All the time, just did it yesterday. It depends on what I'm feeling like looking at, yesterday it was manatees.

3. What’s your choice of listening material when doing stuff? It’s very random at times, I just listen to whatever I'm feeling. I can go from sonic music to jekyll and Hyde to Beetlejuice to Karl’s theme to pizza tower. This is for everything I do from art to cleaning. 

4. Do you like a song for its sound or for its lyrics? Both, tho I never have listened to an instrumental of song with lyrics. I should try that more. 

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people? What their wearing, especially if it’s something I'm interested in,like a sonic shirt.

6. What’s your eye color? Dark brown

7. Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, I just want the characters to be happy. I’m actually very scared of horror movies, even tho I love watching murder mysterious and stuff like that (shows like deadly women) I'm just confusing.

8. Any special talents? I can spin my right hand in complete circle, been doing that since middle school still no pain! (old me is going to hate me) 

9. What trait in others draws you to them? Playfulness, like they can joke with you, and you can joke back. As long as it doesn’t start sounding mean.

10. What are your hobbies? Drawing and sewing. I’ve done painting and making a manatee sculpture in the past, but I really love drawing and sewing, in fact I'm going to be making my own mimikyu cosplay by hand.

11. Do you have any pets? I’ve had a few pets in the past. I had a goldfish named fish, a rabbit named Tino, a hermit crab I got from the fair named Hermmy, and two other rabbits named Nippy and Sasha Fierce. Now I have another rabbit named brown sugar and a dog named Bella.

12. If you became a God/Deity, what would your domain be and how could you use your powers to make the world a better place? ......manatees, I would be the god of the manatees! And I will make it so that every week everyone must be chill like the manatees and help clean the ocean! 

13. How tall are you? 5 foot 3 inches 

14. Favorite subject in school? Art (yes I know very obvious) and gym. Art for the fact I got to do what I always love doing and seeing the chaos other students did (someone had a puppy in there) and gym because I got to hang out with friends and that’s where I met my boyfriend. (side story: I was the only high schooler who had a sonic backpack and a lock on their backpack, this was because my phone were stolen twice so my mom thought this would stop them from stealing my phone, but NOPE. I guess the thieves took this as a challenge and while in gym they got in between the small opening of my backpack and took my phone, but joke’s on them that phone was broken anyway! I win!!

15. Dream job? Being an animator or an professional artist in general, I do hope one day my silly little characters can actually be a show one day.

I’m tagging @jackie-sugarskull  as the next person. Anyone else can do it too.

I’m changing #2 to  What’s your favorite animal and why?

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

It’s been a very good couple of days for me and one of my favourite genres: anything ever made by any comedian who is now in their forties, did a show at Edinburgh at some point between 2000 and 2009, may have had a chocolate milkshake at some point during those festivals, or at least fits into a similar sort of style as people who did.

- So, I said a while ago that I was going to look for some Josie Long stuff, and I didn’t find as much as I wanted. I listened to her BBC Radio All the Planet’s Wonders, which was lovely but not the same as straightforward stand-up, and then looked around for her actual stand-up shows but couldn’t find them, and then got distracted by other things. I clearly got distracted before I could look too well, because I missed the fact that she has two full stand-up shows right on YouTube, one from 2008 and one from 2012 (the former is in six parts, but it’s all there). Classic overthinking, I look in more difficult places and don’t think to just check YouTube.

In the last couple of days this has been brought to my attention, as well as a couple of shows from the years in between, and I spent a lovely few hours on Josie Long’s stand-up. It was so worth the time, funny but also thoughtful and visceral and strongly engaging from start to finish. Really interesting to watch her transform over those few years, get more aggressive and confident in certain ways but with the heart of it being the same. It was the Josie Long that I know from panel shows and radio shows and that Stewart Lee thing and other clips where I’ve seen her - it was what I expected based on that, in content (themes of passion and excitement about beautiful things and anger and socialism), and style (optimism and despair, often somehow simultaneously). It was what I expected but also so much better to see the way she put it all together, in her own setting and under her own rules. I’m really glad I watched that, seeing Josie Long in her element instead of just in bits and pieces of other things seems long overdue, given all my other interests.

I really recommend those YouTube videos to anyone else who’s interested, especially the second one, from 2012. That’s hard to watch at times, because so much of it is anger at the way the country had been swinging to the right since David Cameron took over, and the idea that it was all getting so much worse and had to get better soon... it’s genuinely tough to remember where the Overton window used to be and how the standards used to be higher. But on the bright side, that show does have a fair bit of her talking about how much she loves everything about Scotland and dreams of moving to Glasgow (moments that made me feel kinship with her almost as much as the political stuff, since I romanticize the hell out of everything related to Scotland, only unlike Josie Long I’ve never been there so it’s definitely less acceptable when I do it, but it’s where my favourite music comes from and I want to see the purple heather and I have looked at the entire country on Google Earth and all of it is beautiful), and I know from something I read recently she has now moved to Glasgow, so that’s nice. While I watch it and painfully think, “Oh God, 2012 Josie Long, I’m so sorry for what the future has in store for your heart that’s in so much pain about the evils of the coalition government”, I can at least also think, “The Scotland thing did work out, though.”

- Heard a bunch of Isy Suttie at once for the first time as well, and enjoyed it even more than I expected to. So much that I’ve now added her BBC Radio Four series Love Letters to my collection of BBC Radio Four series, because I want to hear more of her, and again in her own right rather than just bits on other shows. I think I’ll do that one right after I finish Paul Sinha’s General Knowledge, which I started the other day, after finishing Paul Sinha’s History Revision. I have quite a bit of Radio Four at the moment.

- Thank you to @thatkidofwarandpeace for reminding me of the TV show Along for the Ride with David O’Doherty. That’s one I bookmarked a while ago, and then again, got distracted by other things. I’ve really enjoyed all five of his albums, and watched his 2006 TV show The Modest Adventures David O’Doherty, and I’d meant to cap that off with his other TV show, Along for the Ride. And then other things happened and I didn’t until now.

I’ve just watched the first of its four episodes, though, and it’s very nice. DO’D has been the star of two television shows, and it turns out that you can spot a few differences between the low-budget one on Irish station RTE Two in 2006, and the glossy Channel 4 one from 2021 that also features Richard Ayoade and Mel Giedroyc. The difference is vast sweeping shots of British scenery that are pretty much pornography to anyone who might happen to dream about someday doing a trip to the UK and seeing all the pretty places in person. Until I can actually make that happen, looking at this TV show is functioning as the next best thing.

It’s David O’Doherty being nice and calm and easygoing about allowing the humour to occur - all the things that I defensively insist he’s not. But he is all those things, those things are just not all he is. He has the depth and the intelligence and the resentment, and knowing all that is there and comes out when it makes sense makes it easier to enjoy this version of him. The guy getting filmed by cycling around England and Wales while doing gentle back-and-forth with Richard Ayoade (in the one episode I’ve seen so far, at least) to sweeping scenery. Basically, Channel 4 saw the idea that the BBC had with On Your Bike, the show-within-a-show on W1A, and said, “Actually that’s a good idea,” and now it’s on TV. And can be seen here, in relatively high quality, which is nice when the sweeping scenery comes in.

- I’m about halfway through Eleven, the novel by 100% of my Twitter followers (that’s what I call Mark Watson now). I’m going through it fairly slowly, which I feel like is the pace at which it was intended to be read. It’s so well written, but so carefully written with so many different details going off in different directions, I like taking in 15 or so pages and then putting it down and saying “Okay, we’ve added that to the growing pile of things that have happened.” It’s clearly building to something, as more and more of it fits together, and that’s exactly the level of care I’d expect in the work of 100% of my Twitter followers. It’s a nice read.

- Really good episode of Last Week Tonight this week. John Oliver took on the British monarchy and colonialism, in a piece that, given things he’s said about how long they work on most of them before airing, was probably started right when the queen died. There was nothing in there that’s new or shocking to people who already know the basics of the British monarchy’s role in the colonialism, but the groundbreaking thing was the fact that he took that shit that everyone else had to tiptoe around in the wake of the queen’s death, and put it on mainstream TV. He took advantage of the freedom that he has, working in America where he wasn’t restricted the way comedians in Britain were, and working for HBO where you can pretty much do anything, and said the obvious, along with a bit of deeper digging into a few of the more horrifying specifics. It’s a good thing that happened.

- The bad news for people who don’t care about this thing that has taken over my blog is I’ve got more Kitson, the good news is that it’s more stuff in a form that I’ll avoid writing too much about out of respect for his wishes to not have it out there publicly.

[esoteric-butcher]

Star Date: Helios 21’12” Capricorn 11/1/2023

Hour of Luna Day of Mercury

Question for Mars Reading: What theme should I focus on till the next Mars Retrograde?

Position 1 “Ideas” : Ace of Swords

Position 2 “Actions”: Knight of Disks

Correlating Astrology: Luna 12’56” Virgo II Venus 10’47” Aquarius

Interesting Astrology: Mars Rx stations Direct at 00:57 A.M. Pacific Time tonight in the Hour of Mars.

Strong advice from Mars. Usually I don’t ask the cards or planets questions or favors. I usually start the day with a clear mind and allow them to connect on their own terms. Always approaching the grand celestial temple with humility. Taking my seat in the pews not expecting to hear a specific message from the cosmos and positioning myself in the highest receptive state I can.

Today though, Mars has ended it’s journey that we’ve been speaking on for so long. It will now reenter it’s shadow after clear revision and carry with it the lessons it revealed. We’ve seen Twitter go into a tailspin, the crashing of some crypto markets, a divided newly elected republican congress, the retreating armies of Russia in Ukraine, and, as Katy (@snakeoilcreations) just pointed out, a mass cancelation of flights all across the U.S. due to technical issues. Some of you may mor may not of heard about Brazil experiencing a mirrored electoral year with “Stolen Election” claims by Bolsonaro which concluded with they’re very own “J 7” storming of their own capital in an attempt to stop the election.

Finally, but probably not the final event. A protest against a mess of decisions made by the Peruvian government on January 9, 2023 led to the police killing 17 protesters in state sanctioned violence. Since then the number has grown to 47 deaths as the state of Peru tightens its fist. Calling a “State of Emergency” and suspending rites to its people.

With all of this and more going on in the distant world I decided to clarify my intentions today. So I wrote a note to Mars saying “Thank you Mars. For your observations and lessons in Gemini. Where should I direct my focus till the next Mars Rs?”

The response is wonderful. The Ace of Swords sits in the answer box of mental focus. Here the message says focus on bring your ideas into manifestation. The Knight of Pentacles sits in the “Actions I should take” answer box. They refer to the steady hand of work and agriculture. A steady incline of amassing resources and general saving up. The center Decan of The Knight of Disks is Virgo I. This is a Mars ruled decan in another Mercury sign! In the Waite-Smith deck it is of a man just hammering away at making physical disks. It’s a wonderful expression of Mars energy through fundamental labor that you need in order to complete your goals and build something new.

The Ace of Swords also rules over the season that we’re in. Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces. Through this season comes careful planning (Capricorn), refining our Ideals (Aquarius), and manifesting our dreams (Pisces). So till the Mars retrograde of 2024 I need to do the little things and effort needed to bring to form the vehicle for my future path.

I hope you try this reading. I know Mars has some intimidating correspondences. However, like every other sphere and sign. They are all apart of our lives and it’s better to respectfully engage with them instead of hiding or worse ignoring their influence on the world.

Thanks for listening,

Devon

[moonianbbyg]

☆ asteroid odin (3989) ☆

definition; where you can win the most in life because you’re smart when it comes to the themes of your odin placement.

☆ 1ST HOUSE: you know how to serve looks! very good fashion sense, take good care of yourself, confidence, self love, pampering yourself etc. this is a good fame indicator because you could gain fame just for being yourself or your alluring beauty, you might come off prissy as well !!

☆ 2ND HOUSE: you know how to handle business and make people beg to be in your presence! this could attract people into your life who want to spoil you or even worship you. basically — you can be/get lucky with money and random income

☆ 3RD HOUSE: this is a good placement for those who’ve wanted to become a lawyer/judge. the way you handle conversations and you’re able to outsmart many is impressing. you always know what to say and your body language can be so sexy! people love when you’re around them and you can be lucky when it comes to getting your way

☆ 4TH HOUSE: someone in your family might already be running a business so becoming financially stable could be easy for you. (if not) you can be good at taking care of others and people might appreciate you a lot for that! this could mean your marriage could be lucky because you’ll be a good wife/husband or mom/dad to your kids.

☆ 5TH HOUSE: you are sexually attractive and probably smell good all the time. if your house is in the element water you might make people naturally become obsessed with you easily while houses in other elements could could need a bit longer for that but they have the same potential as you. you might experience a less toxic love life than others so that’s good for you

☆ 6TH HOUSE: i believe this placement can attract jealousy, let me explain why: first off - this placement already tells me you’re literal body goals 🤩 and this placement also tells me the saying “they don’t hate you they’re just jealous of you” definitely accurately applies to you. so you could get lucky when it comes to gaining attention just because of your natural beauty and nice personality (you could be a sensitive and nurturing person too)

☆ 7TH HOUSE: similar to 4H you could be an amazing future wife/husband or a parent. 7H also has to do with business so this is good for someone who wishes to get a good income, you’ll be lucky when starting your own business or getting your dream job even. your co workers might love you instantly because you come off so lovely ☺️

☆ 8TH HOUSE: you are the definition of a man/girl stealer! you have this very mysterious and sexual look. this placement indicates good karma on your side so whoever does mess with you just let karma do her job on her own. don’t entertain drama because to people you are drama.

☆ 9TH HOUSE: another good attention grabbing placement. very similar to 3H — people could love your voice especially if your 9H is ruled by venus and they might even believe anything you say. you can get lucky with your intuition and you’re the person that shouldn’t be indecisive because trusting your mind/heart WILL get you on the right track. trust yourself

☆ 10TH HOUSE: you radiate literal main character energy! people might even see you as someone very entertaining and inspirational and you could be the person that always gets copied wether it be for their looks/personality/way of thinking and so on. this placement just gives me lucky in most aspects of your life 😭

☆ 11TH HOUSE: another fame indicating placement.. many people could be very interested in you. don’t be afraid to be yourself because some people could simply help you gain fame by listening to your unique and creative ideas you randomly think or daydream of!!

☆ 12TH HOUSE: you’re very lucky when it comes to manifesting. you have the power to manifest literally anything you want, don’t ever tell yourself you’re asking for too much or it’s impossible because nothing is! you’re a very powerful person in general so make sure you take advantage of your power.

how do you guys feel about this asteroid? it’s pretty interesting to me!! wishing you all success in whatever you desire to have <3

remember: it’s already yours.

this post was created by @moonianbbyg on tumblr <3 please give credits if reposting my work.

[arechickensreal]

✿ Cove Holden headcanons !! ✿

(still in love with this little guy!! I decided to make a post specifically for headcanons for Cove cuz i have a lot!! I cry over this little ocean boy a lot, and thats ok. anyways, enjoy the hcs)

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He doesn’t really like going to a barber or salon to get his hair cut. He think its kinda awkward and isn’t really fond of the idea of some stranger touching his hair.

So he probably cuts it himself or gets one of his parents to do it (tbh if he knows you know how to, he would probably trust you to cut his hair too)

His dad or his mom used to cut it until he just kinda started doing it on his own.

He probably started cutting it himself after he moved to sunset bird and was still a little upset with his dad

The two of you made each other friendship bracelets and wore them until you couldn’t anymore

Derek also got a friendship bracelet at some point when he became part of the friend group

His favourite ghibli movie is ponyo (for obvious reasons)

Likes both, but prefers dogs over cats a little more

He likes medium/bigger dogs a little more since they don’t bark as much as smaller dogs do, but he doesn’t hate small dogs or anything

But he is still a LITTLE intimidated by the little dogs that bark and growl a lot lmao.

Cove’s not super picky or big on music, and mainly just listens to what's on the radio or whatever someone else puts on, but I can see him liking the same types of music as his parents (i talked abt my hcs for cliff & kyra’s music tastes in my post abt them)

I feel like he would like softer music and lofi and stuff.

I can picture him listening to mxmtoon and khai dreams.

If he knows about the types of music that you like, he would try and listen to them too.

He also tries to learn more about your interests and stuff he can talk to you about them or at least have a better understanding of what you’re talking about

He’s actually pretty decent at singing, but he doesn’t really sing much.

He does like to quietly sing or hum to himself if he’s just doing stuff in his room tho

After the first time you two sleep in the same bed together, he starts hugging in his pillow in his sleep when ur not there (he may or may not sometimes imagine its you when he misses you)

If he’s not holding onto or grounded (is that the right word lmao?) by something, he’ll move and shift in his sleep a lot.

He doesn’t really talk in his sleep, but he sort of quietly, incoherently mumbles to himself.

You can’t really make out a full sentence, or proper words out of it most of the time, but occasionally you can make out something that sort of sounds like your name.

He likes stuff like diffusers and scented candles because he likes the smell. He doesn’t really go out of his way to buy and use them or anything since he doesn’t really know much about them, but he likes/appreciates it if you or other people do.

He isn't the biggest fan of the ones that smell overly sweet/strong tho.

On that note, he has a really good sense of smell. Like, he can pick up on things that literally nobody else can.

He likes to talk to his fish about things (he also loves to tell them about you)

Honestly he just loves talking about you in general

I think he likes it when you say his name (not in a weird way lol)

Like you’ll say his name if you’re just talking to him, and internally hes just like

“Yes !! That’s me !! :D”

I think he also wants/wanted you to be there when he gets his tattoo/piercings. For emotional support. (if you choose the cove that has either of those)

But yeah

Also if you were down for it he would also like the idea of getting matching tattoos

Probably something beach related or white poppies or something along those lines (tbh I kinda do wanna get a poppy tattoo irl one day lmao)

Anyways thats all the ones i'm gonna post for now

Might make a second part idk yet

Hope you enjoyed my ramblings about my favourite fictional neighbour <33

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Rules for Requests/Asks || Masterlist || Send asks/requests here!

[ramzawrites]

can i request an angsty sbi fic where sibling reader lost two lives saving others (maybe tubbo at the festival?) and they see everything falling apart (techno and phil destroying everything, wilbur dead and tommy focused on the disks) and they pretend to be ok while their mental health gets worse and worse until they decide to end it, and people only realise they weren't okay after the death message pops up and their reactions to seeing it? if not thats completely fine, ik its pretty heavy

Broken

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Tommy, Philza, Tubbo, Technoblade

Warnings: depression, suicide (falling, non descriptive), angst

Series: a request!

Summary: Y/N just wanted their home back. They just wanted to live a peaceful life but instead all their hopes and dreams got ripped apart by the people they loved the most.

Words count: 3647

Authors Note: Honestly I could have shortened it quite a bit but here we are, it’s way longer than I wanted but I hope you guys enjoy this. I’m sorry if this went kind off of rails to what you might have envisioned. Also I hope that you guys know that you are loved and appreciated. I appreciate you for taking the time to read my stuff :] Here is m favorite video to cheer me up some times, hope it can cheer you up as well!

I’m also curious what your guys thoughts and opinion are on this or my writing in general! Can’t get better without feedback :]

Y/N loved their family.

They were all pretty chaotic but so was Y/N, following their siblings into trouble ignoring any possible consequences.

So when Wilbur proclaimed he would create an independent Nation inside the SMP that was owned by Dream himself, you bet that Y/N was standing right beside him.

When Wilbur would struggle with his tasks or was weighed down by doubts they would swoop right in and do their best to support him. Every time Wilbur would say “I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.” While Y/N didn’t do it for praise but out of love for him it was still nice knowing that he appreciated them and that he took note of their work.

Tommy wasn’t really for heartfelt words but he too expressed in his own way how much he appreciated them being around. Most of his schemes wouldn’t have even happened without Y/N’s help after all. As a way to say thanks he would let them just take stuff fout his chets or when he heard they needed a specific resource he would wander out and get it for them. Of course saying something on the lines of “I was out there anyhow, so I brought some with me. It was on the way.” Y/N could read between the lines though. They grew up with him after all.

Y/N put so much energy into L’Manberg they couldn’t help but be in love with this little nation. They would do everything to protect their home.

When Y/N lost their first life it was together with their siblings protecting their nephew Fundy.

The Dream Team suddenly retreated after another battle against L’Manberg. While the group was celebrating what they thought was their first victory in ages, Eret appeared. She told the group of a small bunker with more resources.

Still celebrating Wilbur, Y/N, Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy made their way towards the bunker. The bunker that would later go down into history as “The Final Control Room.”

Inside they all looked at the labeled chests only to notice that they were empty. Eret then pressed a button which opened up secret walls with the Dream Team standing behind. She herself got into safety as Dream and his friends merciless attacked the L’Manberg faction.

As soon as Y/N understood what was happening they did their best to form a wall between the attackers and Fundy. Slowly pushing him out of the room while they made sure to block the exit, giving the Fox Hybrid enough time to run away.

When they woke up again it was inside their home. In L’Manberg. Sore from the respawning.

Once they did respawn though it didn’t take long for Fundy to barge into their room and throw himself against them, thanking them. Wilbur was close by, looking worse for wear as well but incredible thankful nonetheless.

After that and a few battles more Tommy challenged Dream to a duel in order to secure independence. He lost so instead he bartered his music discs for freedom.

After Tommy respawned a second time Y/N made sure to spent most of their time hovering around him. Making sure he was doing alright.

But with that L’Manberg was independent and it was Y/N’s time to shine. Sure, they worked hard on strengthening the infrastructure of the nation but now, maybe even because of that, they basically coordinated all the new builds.

Shops, homes and other things were being build with them overseeing it. Meanwhile Wilbur and Tommy took care of the political part only to come to the conclusion that they had to have a proper election.

At first it started innocently enough as well. New political parties were made that begun advertising themselves. Funny enough they would always come to Y/N asking them where they could hang up their posters. It was then that Y/N realized that the people saw them as some sort of authority, even asking them if they wanted to start their own campaign. They politely declined, saying they worked best as a support role.

Then Schlatt entered the stage and everything got thrown upside down.

In the end he managed to become the next president via a coalition and his first declaration as the president, or emperor as he called himself, was to exile Tommy and Wilbur.

As they ran for their life Y/N didn’t hesitate to follow. It hurt them so much to leave L’Manberg, their fruit and labor, behind. This only got worse once they realized that Tubbo was basically left alone back at the city under Schlatt’s rule.

Then Pogtopia got established.

Tommy, Wilbur and Y/N did their best to get a proper foothold again. Gathering resources and planning for ways to get their home back. And to accomplish this they soon called in the oldest sibling of the group, Technoblade.

Techno has been away for the longest time now. He moved out early to travel the world and apparently train himself. Somehow Tommy found a way to get a message to him, so he made his way towards Pogtopia.

He wasn’t big on words or emotions but as soon as he arrived he let Y/N hug him.

“This is a onetime deal, Y/N.”

With Techno they finally felt like they had a chance. Y/N could maybe return home someday. Back when they were children Techno always looked out for them so to have him back Y/N felt infinitely safer.

All the while Wilbur showed more and more signs that his mental health was rapidly declining. Y/N did their best trying to cheer him up but there was only so much they could do. Especially since they themself were struggling.

L’Manberg was their everything and now it was under the iron rule of Schlatt. They had to watch as Schlatt walked through the nation, ripping apart builds that they commissioned or even built themself. Every time he did something like that it felt like another stab wound directly into their heart.

Then the festival happened where Y/N lost their second life protecting Tubbo.

Schlatt wanted to apparently celebrate democracy and his amazing rule. Tommy and Wilbur weren’t allowed to join while Techno and Y/N received an invitation.

Y/N was very wary of that. They learned from Tubbo that Schlatt apparently was pretty interested in bringing them over to Manberg since a lot of the residents trusted them and saw them more as an authority than Schlatt himself, so bringing them over would probably also bring a lot of the residents around to his rule.

On the day of the festival Y/N made sure to stay close to Techno. Holding on to his arm and basically hiding behind him, not feeling up to talk with all the people in Manberg.

The people were happy to see them but Y/N was tired. They haven’t slept properly ever since the exile, too many thoughts that kept them awake.

Then the speeches started.

Honestly Y/N wasn’t really listening, their attention purely on a broken old building. It used to be the place where Y/N and the other residents would meet up and map out their plans for new builds. Discussing and even sometimes arguing on what materials should be used and where to get them. Now it was empty.

Their attention got pulled back towards what was actually happening once Tubbo begun speaking. It was a nice little speech Y/N had to admit.

Just as Tubbo was about to leave, Schlatt moved back in. Holding him in place and pushing him in something that Y/N had to describe as a cage with the help of Quackity.

“Techno, buddy. Come up here for a sec.”

Technoblade tensed up but still moved towards the stage. There Schlatt uttered the words that pulled the rug out from beneath Y/N once again.

“Kill him Techno. He is a traitor.”

“Don’t you dare!” Y/N yelled out, making their way towards the stage as well.

Y/N knew Techno couldn’t deal well with social pressure, especially when there were about ten people or more behind him that could attack him at any point.

Tubbo looked so scared as he pressed himself against the wall. There was no escape for him.

When Techno moved his crossbow up, aiming directly at Tubbo, Y/N let out another scream. Urging him to stop.

Explosions. Colorful explosions filled the place.

“Y/N!” it was Tubbo screaming their name out.

Just as Techno pressed the trigger Y/N managed to jump in front, the rockets hitting them instead of Tubbo.

Their older brother looked absolutely mortified “Y/N? Wha- What? Why? How?” staring at Y/N’s lifeless body that slowly dissolved. They were slowly respawning but seeing his siblings body was enough to send him in some sort of frenzy.

Filled with bloodlust he aimed his crossbow towards Schlatt and Quackity. Killing them with one press of the trigger only to turn around and aim his crossbow towards the people.

As this happened Tommy enderpearled over, screaming at Techno.

He helped Tubbo out of the cage who was still in a state of shock. He only saw Y/N for a second and the next they were laying on the ground in their own blood.

Y/N heard the details later after they respawned. Tommy had apparently been incredibly angry at Techno, even attacking him. Wilbur then offered that the two deal with their argument via a fistfight inside a pit.

Normally Y/N would have yelled at Wilbur for that. Would have told him that this was his dumbest idea yet but they were too shook from what had happened to them.

Technoblade always spelled safety to them but he killed them. Sure, he meant to kill Tubbo but that didn’t really make it any better. They gave him an out, they would have helped fighting off all these people so they could flee.

The next time they saw Techno they flinched every time he got too close to them and yet they still put on a smile “Never, do this again.”

Techno only nodded.

After this downward slope the momentum didn’t seem to stop for them. Wilbur dropped even more and more off. Falling victim to his paranoia. Y/N tried their best convincing him to not blow up Manberg, that they will fight to gain it back. At this point trying to gain back their L’Manberg was the only thing they could hold on to.

Though all that work was for nothing.

The war to take back L’Manberg went way differently than they all had imagined. Y/N fought with a viciousness most didn’t think they had it in them. This was the day for them to finally regain what they had wished for, for the longest time now.

Everything came to a halt once Dream surrendered. He showed them Schlatt who was sitting in the Carmavan. Drunk off his mind he yelled and screamed at people only to die of a heart attack which meant that the Pogtopia faction won.

The people begun cheering, they had their home back! They were free! Y/N was probably the loudest by far. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from their shoulders. All this hardship and they could finally return to working with the others and rebuild L’Manberg. Return it to its former glory.

Tubbo got appointed President and Y/N was happy with it. Tubbo had an eye for building and was a good person, with him they were sure they could do some amazing things.

Apparently Techno thought otherwise. Instead he pulled Soulsand out, holding onto the Wither skulls as a visible threat.

Y/N had somewhat forgiven Techno for what had happened. It was a stressful situation and they acknowledged it but seeing him there, threatening to kill all of them? That they knew they couldn’t forgive quite so easy. Especially since he made some sound points but it was their L’Manberg. The people didn’t like living under Schlatt’s rule, this wasn’t something that could be described simply as a coup. Technically he was right but only technically. There were so many things that came into play that could let you argue over that but Techno would have none of it. Yelling something about Tommy only wanting to be a hero.

When the first explosions rang Y/N thought it came from a Wither but Techno was still in the middle of putting the heads onto the structure.

When more explosions rang and the ground beneath their feet broke away, Y/N understood what had happened.

At some point Wilbur ran off and must have pressed the button. The button that set the TNT beneath the city ablaze, effectively destroying everything.

Y/N was too busy with finding hard ground again and then dealing with the Withers and Techno that they only noticed after the fighting ended, how broken the nation was now.

They had won. Why would Wilbur do this? He knew how much the nation meant to them and again, they had won, so there was no reason for blowing the place up!

And if that wasn’t enough to see how both their older brothers destroyed everything Y/N worked for, they also had to see how Philza, their father, stood next to the corpse of Wilbur. It felt like they lost everything.

They lost their trust in Technoblade.

They lost their hopes and dreams via Wilbur blowing up the freshly liberated L’Manberg.

They lost their trust in their own father who had slain his own son.

Y/N felt absolutely crushed. Family was so important to them and it was their own family that destroyed their hopes and dreams. They did everything for them and this is how they repaid them?

Once everything calmed down and Tubbo begun making plans on how to rebuild the nation, he immediately came to Y/N for help but they hesitated which worried him.

“Is everything okay? Usually you would have jumped on that offer, Y/N.”

Y/N put on a smile that didn’t seem to reach their eyes “Don’t worry Tubbo, of course I’ll help you. I’m just tired from what we have been through. I finally have time to take a breather and I think it all just crashed down on me.”

“Well if you ever need help you can talk to me.” It was an earnest offer that Y/N would never take advantage of.

Y/N mostly ignored Philza. He talked with them a few times and even explained what has happened but Y/N still made a wide berth around him. Seeing him just hammered back down the feeling of distrust and hurt. Their familial relationship took a hard hit from that point on.

With Ghostbur it was a weird situation as well. They enjoyed spending time with him but were also always incredibly sad around him. Ghostbur took notice of this and would always offer them to take some of his blue but Y/N declined every time.

“Don’t worry Ghostbur. Everything is still just fresh in my mind. I’ll be back to my old self in no time. You take care of yourself, you hear?”

“Of course Y/N! You have always looked out for me, thank you.”

L’Manberg slowly took on a proper form again but it wasn’t the L’Manberg Y/N knew. It felt to them like they were standing on top of a grave. A grave for their dreams and it was getting hard, real hard, to walk through it every day seeing places where they know specific buildings should be standing. Buildings they build on their own only to be destroyed by their brothers doing.

Then Tubbo exiled Tommy and Y/N felt conflicted. They felt obligated to stay in L’Manberg since they were the main person people came to for builds but that was their brother. Their only brother they still trusted and felt a need to protect.

Instead of following him into exile they stayed in the city. Visiting Tommy whenever they could, noticing pretty fast that he was struggling hard with his situation and for once they didn’t feel strong enough to properly support him. Y/N tried their best but once they noticed they couldn’t reach him completely they gave up a tiny bit.

It reminded them too much of Wilbur.

So while they visited him and helped them where they could, they spent more and more time alone in their home only coming out for work and other necessary things like food. Soon it was normal to see them with ever present dark circles beneath their eyes.

Before Philza disappeared to join Techno, he would stop by Y/N’s home all the time.

“Have you eaten, yet?”

“Yes, dad. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“I just haven’t seen you much lately and I got worried.”

“Don’t worry. I’m fine. Hey, if you go out, please, can you tell Ghostbur to stop coming around to throw Blue inside my mailbox? He won’t listen to me but perhaps he will to you.” And they would always carry the same big smile on their face accompanied by empty eyes.

The only time their happiness reached their eyes again was when Tommy returned from his exile. They crashed into their younger sibling holding him close to them and muttering apologies. He pried them off, embarrassed by all of this.

This short bout of happiness was destroyed by Doomsday. Dream, Technoblade and Philza once again made sure to set L’Manberg ablaze.

The second time Y/N’s fruits and labor got completely annihilated by their family but still they had some hopes this time. They still had Tommy on their side they could just finally build a home somewhere else and live in peace but Tommy had other ideas. He had it in his mind to get his discs back and he would do anything for it.

So while Y/N tried to ground themself with new hopes and ideas, holding onto the only constant of what was important to them, that being Tommy, Tommy ignored them. He was too busy with his own things and the worst part was that Y/N couldn’t even fault him for it.

They understood how much these discs meant to him and that this was something that had to come to an end but with this they lost another, and possibly their last, anchor point.

Yet you could still see them running around with a smile, tending to every one and trying to help out the best they could.

Then suddenly they were gone. They just disappeared one day. The few people who took note of that took some time to look around but there was no sign as to where they left. Y/N didn’t take their armor with them nor any weapons or food.

< Y/N succumbed to despair and fell of a high place>

When every ones communicators rung out with this message the SMP fell quiet.

Tommy couldn’t believe what he was reading. This didn’t make any sense. Y/N was fine! They would talk with them and everything looked fine! This must have been a cruel joke from Dream somehow, right? This couldn’t be real. Why would Dream do this? This didn’t seem to make sense.

Exactly there was no sense in Dream doing this.

While Tommy was battling with his thoughts Tubbo came running over to him. Tears streamed down his face.

“What happened? Why did this happen? Where are they?”

Tommy was visibly shaking “I- I have no idea. I don’t know. They looked fine. I’m- I’m not sure. Tubbo-“

Tubbo just slammed into him, giving him a proper hug, trying his best to help Tommy through his rising panic. He lost another sibling and by Ender that hurt.

Meanwhile in the snowy Tundra both Philza and Techno were staring at their communicators as well.

Philza was pale. So pale it almost rivaled the snow around him.

Techno had his brows furrowed. For anyone who didn’t know him well enough he looked at best displeased with this situation but Philza could see the small details that told a different story. Him sucking his breath in as he read the message, hiding his quivering lip in his cloak. He was heartbroken.

Sure the two weren’t on good speaking terms but Y/N was still his younger sibling. He still loved them.

Philza felt similar. He acknowledged that he screwed up and honored their wish to be left alone by him but he never imagined this could lead to their death. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground. Two of his children died, one directly by his hand and the other due to his inaction.

His eyes glossed over, the world became a blur and yet he continued rereading this message over and over. Y/N just lost their last life.

Philza could hear Techno walk closer to him and sat down on the ground as well.

“Y/N is-“ Philza begun but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. State the obvious to his eldest son?

“I have more fault in this than you, dad. Don’t feel guilty.” His voice was uncharacteristically weak. Wavering as he spoke. He wanted to cheer Philza up but it was a weak attempt.

“What have we done.”

Ghostbur was at first confused when he read the message. It was like he couldn’t connect the dots but it slowly dawned on him what this meant.

“Oh my.” His usual happy demeanor was suddenly gone.

He touched his face and as he put his hands back down he saw how they were smeared with blue.

“Y/N is dead?”

His usual ghost behavior seemed to break a bit. It was like through the warped version of Wilbur that was called Ghostbur for a moment the true version of him came through again. And he was hurt. Devastated.

“I think I need to find the others.” He mumbled to himself, making his way towards his family. All the while he held onto the blue wool of Friend like a lifeline. Combing through it nervously. Blue continuing to spill from his eyes.