#listening to it rn- all things must pass

[beetle-baguette]

George’s day

[earthtooz]

x : LUNCH BREAK :*+ﾟ

in which: you don't visit wriothesley during his lunch break after last night's argument, so he goes to the court of fontaine just to see you.

warnings: approx. 1.9k words, PURE FLUFF, gn!reader x pathetic and soppy and lovesick wriothesley, canon setting, reader works at the court of fontaine, post-argument so very minimal angst, probs not in character LOL

a/n: there's not a lot of content regarding fontaine or wriothesley rn so i apologise if this isn't completely in character. what i do not apologise for, however, is the urge to make him as lovesick as possible.

There is a notable tension in the Fortress of Meropide, and although a prison isn’t a place for rainbows and sunshine, today it feels especially devastating. It seems that the lord of the prison is the one responsible for it.

Brooding at his desk, Wriothesley glances occasionally at the clock on his desk, growing more and more impatient with each document he has to read through. He is waiting for something: a knock on his door. He is waiting for the call of his name, the reason for their interruption, then your name will reach his ears and an unmatched excitement will bloom in his chest. Then you’ll slip through the doors with lunch for two, he’ll pull out a chair for you right beside him, and mask professionalism that betrays the eagerness your presence always brings out. 

Your absence must be because of the argument that happened last night. One that remained unresolved because he went to bed before you, too furious to try to talk it out. Yet, when Wriothesley woke in the morning, a wave of guilt washed over him when you weren’t pressed against him like usual. Instead, you were on the other side of the mattress, further than an arm’s length away whilst turned away from him and Fontaine’s chilly mornings had never felt colder.

If he didn’t need to go to work much earlier than you, he would have waited until you had woken up to leave, but being the lord of the Fortress of Meropide meant that his presence was demanded. So, with a lingering kiss to your cheek and then your temple, he leaves into the dewy mornings of Fontaine, looking forward to his lunch break that the two of you often share together.

Except now, lunch is almost over and there hasn’t been a knock on his door. No one has called his name- not people he cared about, at least. You haven’t slipped through the heavy set of doors. You haven’t come down from the Court of Fontaine to visit him, and Wriothesley’s patience is thinning.

His fingers itch with the need to hold you, to tuck you close to his chest and just keep you there for a few moments as time pass by. Especially after last night, Wriothesley needs you now more than ever. 

By the time there’s only one hour left in the work day, he snaps. Stands up from his seat with an unmatched sense of fervour because of the unnervingly quiet day and snatches his coat from the hanger, leaving documents unread as he makes a beeline for the exit of the prison. The guards listen attentively to Wriothesley’s final commands for the day in his absence and once the information is cemented, the dark-haired is off without another second wasted.

You, on the other hand, sit in your office drowned in piles upon piles of papers. Wriothesley is a passing thought every now and then, the memories of last night’s harsh argument settling like weights in your stomach. You miss Wriothesley, very dearly, and all you want is to settle things with him. However, the image of his furious eyes and clenched jaw terrifies you beyond belief, you’re not even sure if he’ll be calmer by the time you get home, so for the first time ever, you dread the idea of going home. 

What you are completely unaware of, however, is your lover that is storming your way, desperate to receive the medicine that will cure his moodiness and irritation. 

The knock on your door distracts you from the piles of papers on your desk. 

“Who is it?” you call out, voice reverberating around the spaciousness of your office.

“It’s Wriothesley, can I come in?” His tone is sharp and leaves no room for you to reject him, but the mere sound of his voice causes you to stiffen, grip on your pen tightening as the papers before you lay forgotten. 

What is Wriothesley doing here? He normally never comes up to the Court of Fontaine just to see you because leaving the prison would be far too neglectful. There was also half an hour before he was done for the day, so could there be official business that needs to be discussed? Something urgent, perhaps? 

If it was urgent, then why come to you and not Monsieur Neuvillette- or even Lady Furina?

“Yeah- yes, you can come in,” you mutter.

When the door clicks open, Wriothesley practically barges through, door shutting behind him as he marches towards you. Getting up from your chair, you’re frightened with anticipation due to  how intense his stance is. 

“Is something the matter?” You begin, panic seeping into your voice as he pauses before you, determination setting his eyes ablaze as he eyes you down like prey. “Wriothesley, you’re scaring me, did something happen at the prison-”

“Where were you at lunch?” He demands.

You blink. “Excuse me?”

“Why didn’t you come visit?” 

“Is… is why you came up here? To ask why I didn’t visit you during lunch?”

He nods, expression stern as usual save for a small pout.

“I was swamped with work,” you half-lie, gesturing to the desk behind you and although there is clear evidence on your table through the form of stacked folders and paper, a storm of uncertainty brews in his blue eyes. “I couldn’t visit if I wanted to get these done, I apologise.”

The dark-haired frowns. “Is that it?”

“Yes. That’s all.” His eyebrows furrow, creating crease marks in his forehead that you want to kiss away, alleviating his worries, but you hold yourself back from doing so in fear that Wriothesley does not want you touching him. 

However, a switch is flicked when Wriothesley’s stern expression softens, melting into one resembling a kicked dog. “So you’re not upset with me?” 

“Oh, is that also on your mind?”

“Of course, I don’t like it when you’re upset with me,” your lover mutters, looking away bashfully to conceal the reddening of his cheeks. “You aren’t though, right?”

“No, not upset. Scared, maybe, but definitely not upset.” 

His eyes are glossy when he looks back at you. “Scared, why are you scared?” 

“W-we didn’t end on a good note last night,” you rub your wrist nervously. “I didn’t know if you would be happy with seeing me. On top of that, you can be really intimidating sometimes, so admittedly, I was a little scared to come see you just in case that you did not want me there.”

Wriothesley visually deflates with your last statement, shoulders dropping and eyes glistening as he murmurs a small, pathetic, “is that so?”

He wonders what part about him ever made it seem like he never wants you beside him, and the thought that he had frightened you enough to prevent you visiting him is an upsetting one. You must see it in his eyes with the way you frantically begin to explain yourself. 

“Oh no, darling, I didn’t mean it like that-”

He turns his head away again, disappointed in himself. It’s one thing for his prisoners to consider him intimidating but it’s another for you, his own lover, to think so as well, and the thought that he had scared you creates insurmountable shame to swell within him. Yet, his whirlwind of anxieties ceases when your hand goes to cup his cheek, gently prompting him to look at you. Then, a kiss is pressed to the corner of his lips, and his heart skips a beat at the sensation, love blocking his airways when you pull away to smile up at him. 

“As scary as you might be, oh great lord of the Fortress of Meropide, I also know you will never hurt me,” you reassure. “Rather, I feel safest when I’m around you, please never doubt that.”

Wriothesley sighs, hand snaking up to grip your waist and pull you closer to him. “Thank you, my love. But I beg, even if you assume I am upset with you, please keep visiting my office during lunch, it is the part of the day I look forward to most.”

“If that is your request then maybe you just need to be good and listen to me instead of arguing until your head pops off,” you tease, patting his face twice and he huffs before muttering an ‘understood’. Anything to see you. “Is there something else you need from my office?”

“No, just wanted to see you,” he looks at the brown paper bag in his hands. “I brought you lunch, just in case you didn’t eat.” 

“Wriothesley,” you melt, “how thoughtful of you. I’ll make sure to eat it when I finish reading those contracts.”

“You should eat now, though. Don’t drown yourself in work, it’s not healthy.”

“I wish it were that easy, but these piles were dumped on my desk this morning and were assigned to be done by the end of the week.”

The hand that was on your waist comes up to gently hover over your cheek and Wriothesley studies you, icy eyes hardening due to the fatigue present in your expression. You grab his wrist, trying to diverge his attention, but you should know better than assuming that your wellbeing isn’t of utmost importance to him. “Unacceptable, I should have a word with your supervisor-”

“-no, no, Wriothesley! I insist, this is manageable.”

He frowns, deep and serious before surrendering to your pleas. “Fine, but if it doesn’t get better by the end of the week, then I will be interfering.”

“If you do so, my supervisor will be too scared to come in for a month,” you squeeze his wrist and gently guide it away from your face, ignorant to how your neglect for your own health hurts Wriothesley as well. He knows you love your job, but he still thinks that you deserve to live life carefree, that you should get everything you want without ever lifting a finger. “It’s alright, dear, you mustn’t worry about me when your work is a thousand times more stressful.”

“Impossible.” He worries about you every second of the day. Telling Wriothesley to stop fretting over you would be like telling him to stop breathing. “Now eat.” 

You yelp when he pulls you towards your chair, sitting you down. From the paper bag, he takes out a sandwich, one that you recognise is from one of fontaine’s favourite cafés, and he carefully unwraps it before raising it to your mouth.

“Wriothesley… this is a little embarrassing,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around yourself.

He doesn’t say anything, just persistently stares at you, gaze intense enough for you to give in. As you lean in to take the first bite, you are bashfully looking away from your lover, who wears a pleased expression, satisfied with the fact that you’re letting him take care of you. 

The tension from last night’s dispute hasn’t completely melted away, there are still things that need to be discussed calmly, but as you keep trying to push his hand away and battle Wriothesley’s indestructible stubbornness, he knows it will work out in the end. You love him and he loves you, and if you ever forget to visit him during lunch break again, then he’ll have to tear himself away from the prison and come up, just to meet you.

© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[magewritesstories]

[ ᴍʏ ʜᴇʀᴏ ᴀᴄᴀᴅᴇᴍɪᴀ ] ᴄᴏᴏʟ ɢɪʀʟ

summary; some bnha characters dating a cool black-cat girl (bc i'm listening to the Ghost album by diljit dosanjh rn and thats the vibes it gives off) included characters --- izuku midoriya, katsuki bakugou, denki kaminari tw; none, it's literally just fluff note; if you want these headcanons with diff mha characters i'd write them! also i'm not a black-cat person at all so sorry if its not super accurate. word count; 909 words

IZUKU MIDORIYA;

He's so surprised first of all, like this poor baby is so in love with you but the fact that you love him back?! He's absolutely over the moon.

You might be surprised when I say this but not a lot of people are surprised at the fact that the two of you are dating—because of course the adorable dork who can never shut up pulled the chill, calm popular girl.

You're the first person to decode his mumble language, and just nod along like it's completely normal

speaking of his rambles, you just happily listen and let him rant until he realizes he's ranting and then he stops and looks at you so calmly smiling and listening and he almost passes out because he's overwhelmed by feels.

"I think that Kamui Woods would probably be the best match for her, you know considering the fact that he could use laquered prison to—" Izuku cut himself off when he realized he'd been ranting on about what hero vs hero matches would be cool to see and who would win.

You're sitting in front of him, the ends of your lips quirked up slightly as you swirl your favourite drink and look at him. "Something wrong, sweetie?" You ask, tilting your head slightly to the right as you rest it in your palm.

"I–I'm sorry," He quickly apologized, freckled cheeks tinting red as he felt your gaze stay on him, "I–I've been ranting, and–and you must be bored... I'm sorry."

"I didn't say that," You reply calmly, "I like listening to your rants—they're cute, and not to mention informative."

His already big green eyes widen even more. "R–really? I mean are you sure?"

You let out a soft chuckle and nod. "Mhm, now, will you tell me about how Kamui Woods would beat Mt. Lady?" You ask, giving him another soft smile.

Izuku visibly brightens as he happily continues his rant.

KATSUKI BAKUGOU;

How? Just how?

That's the first thing people think, because why would someone as cool and calm as you date someone as hotheaded as him?

Everyone around you is so confused (Denki literally brain-fries himself trying to understand.)

But then they see the way you stare down Bakugou without even flinching and manage to calm him down and all of a sudden it just clicks.

It's not really a rare occurrence—Katsuki's shouting his head off about some algebra equation Denki doesn't understand.

"What is so hard to understand, you damn dunderhead?!" The explosive blond shouts, practically jumping over the table towards Denki.

You're sitting in the library with the rest of the BakuSquad and have already been warned twice to keep it down.

"Katsuki, calm down," You say, looking up from your own homework.

He turns to you with an annoyed expression. "I'll calm down when this idiot stops being so damn stupid."

You match the glare he's giving you. "We're going to get kicked out," You reply, placing a hand on his arm to pull him back, "I'm sure Denki will understand whatever you're trying to explain to him if you just chill out."

Bakugou glares at you for a whole minute before huffing and falling down in his seat.

Everyone at the table stares at the two of you in disbelief. Katsuki just glares at them, as if he's daring them to say anything about what just transpired.

"So, Denki," You continue, turning towards your blond friend as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, "What is it you didn't understand?"

KAMINARI DENKI;

He's your polar opposite, and that's what makes it work

Kaminari is known for his cheesy pick-up lines and dumb flirting tactics, so when he tries one on you he does not expect it to work at all

but then it does??!!? (his brain malfunctions ngl)

Oh boy, he's drowning you with cheesy cards, pick-up lines, etc just to hear that cute little giggle again (he prides himself on the fact that he's the only one that can get you to giggle)

The bell signalling the second break rang ten minutes ago, but you're still sitting at your desk.

"Hey, Y/N," Denki's voice sounds even louder than usual in the empty classroom, "Watcha doin'?"

You don't reply, simply pulling up your geography textbook to show him the cover.

"Oh, we're covering the greenhouse effect right?" He questions, pulling up a chair to sit in front of you.

He leans his head on his palm, blonde hair falling in his eyes as he stares at you full of admiration.

"You know it's all your fault right?" He says, with a small smirk on his face.

You know your boyfriend well enough to know he's up to some stupid shit, but you decide to bite anyway. "What's all my fault, babe?"

"Global warming, it's your fault," He smiles like he didn't just accuse you of something like warming up the entire earth, "Because you're so hot."

You blink twice and then shake your head in disbelief. "You can do better than that," You reply simply, turning back to your notes.

Denki sees this as encouragement. "Oh yeah?" He asks in his most flirty voice, placing a hand under your chin, "Well, I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."

Now, granted, this pickup line is even worse than the first one but it's just stupid enough to elicit a giggle out of you.

"You're an idiot."

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot."

[yandereunsolved]

Hii Im not sure if youre taking requests rn but if you have the time I would love for a yandere Kit Walker hc set or a yandere post death Kyle Spencer fic where the reader tries to leave him at Misty’s :)

The Honey In My Honeycomb - ,, yandere Kit Walker pre and post Asylum

tw(s): yandere themes, mentions of baby trapping, mention of murder of child(ren), descriptive gore

♡ It all started out like a cheesy romance movie. Your car broke down, and Kit just happened to be driving by. He fixed your car and invited you back to his shop. He ended up changing your oil and tires for free. It evolved into the two of you dating shortly after. You never saw the warning signs—none of them. You never saw through Kit's honeyed words and his charming smile. You would have been better off if you just listened to that tiny voice in the back of your mind telling you to run while you still could.

♡ You were stuck at his shop all day. He had gone home to retrieve some tools and never came back. You got worried that something may have happened to him. You weren't prepared for the gory scene you found. A trail of blood led to your bedroom, where you found Kit passed out near the mutilated corpse of a woman. Your clothes were thrown all around him, and he was cuddling them in his sleep. You freaked out and shrieked, which woke him up. He desperately tried to explain it to you. He pleaded with you to just listen to him. You didn't. You ran and reported him to the police. A part of your mind did want to believe him. The more time that passed, the more you believed in his innocence. Only you were wrong. He did murder all those people that he was accused of killing—over fifteen. He did it all for you. That is the secret he will take to the grave with him.

♡ He was put in Briarcliff Asylum while awaiting his trial. You were allowed to visit him, although it terrified you. You had heard such bloodcurdling stories about that place from the few patients that had survived it. Your visits with him always had to be monitored. Sometimes, though, no one would. That confused you, but you never verbalized it. Kit just threatened to kill the nuns if they interrupted your time with him. All of the nuns thought he must have been possessed by some lust devil. He just could never seem to get enough of you. Day and night, the only thing that came out of his mouth was praise about you—how pretty you looked, how vulnerable you were, how he had to protect you from the vile world that threatened to taint your purity.

♡ It was irritating, really. Protecting your visage wasn't easy when so many people tried to interrupt him. He had to get rid of Grace. It was really her fault. She just shouldn't have been flirting with him. She shouldn't have tried to come onto him. She shouldn't have ignored his warnings. He said multiple times that he was a man who was happily dating such a beautiful thing as yourself. Grace just didn't seem to listen to that. She even had the gall to interrupt one of your meetings with each other. He was in the middle of showing you how much he missed you. That was the last straw.

He made it seem like it was Doctor Arden's fault with a botched sterilization. He can clean that up himself. He's a big boy, and Kit isn't helping. He can't make himself look guilty in any way, of course. He could never let you know how much of a monster he really was.

♡ He has kept a ring in his pocket since the day he met you. The ring belonged to his grandfather. It's practically a family heirloom. He so desperately wants to put it on your finger. He just wants everyone to know that you belong to him—his darlin', his one and only. The thing is extremely shiny, too. It'd look so good on your hand. 

♡ That's not the only jewelry he has for you. He has a lot more tucked away in his trusty, rusty old red tool box. He stole all of it from the people he killed for you. He plans on giving it all to you as wedding gifts. He'll fix all of the pieces, of course. He'll wipe the blood away and make sure none of it stains your beautiful figure. He also stole their money from their bank accounts. He has more than enough to keep you both financially stable until you die. He would never let his little house spouse work with some other man. The thought of it just makes his hand itch to reach for an axe. 

♡ He fantasizes about what your wedding would look like. You'd look like a god(dess) walking down the aisle toward him. You wouldn't need anyone but him and the priest. He would kill the priest after. You wouldn't know that. It's just that he can't let anybody see such a holy sight except for him. He wouldn't want to risk somebody making an off comment or lusting over your figure. 

Your body is yours and yours alone. It's also his, if you'll allow him to have it. 

He can't wait till the wedding night. He has it all planned out. After your dinner, you'll both bathe together. He'll set the mood. You both will have each other for the first time in marriage. It's something that makes his mouth water when he thinks about it.

♡ If you can get pregnant... He will immediately try for a baby with you. He just thinks your belly would look so adorable swollen up with a mixture of you and him. You'd be completely dependent on him. You wouldn't be able to leave, and he'd be the best father to your children. Not to mention, he can teach them how to be protective of you. It'll be absolutely perfect! You'll have no way to escape!

♡ If you are unable to get pregnant... Kit doesn't want you to worry. He'll just pick a random kid off the street if he needs to. He'll kidnap a baby from the hospital and say he adopted them. He could go the legal route for adoption as well, if that would better please you. Anything to keep you with him until you both die in each other's arms.

♡ He ideally wants anywhere from two to five kids. He's always wanted one girl and one boy. He'd ultimately want five because you'd never leave him all alone with five children. Sure, you could run off with two, three, and a slim chance of four, but five? No. You have absolutely no chance of escaping him, then. Unless you wanted to abandon them and him, that is. That's fine! He'll just threaten their lives. He'll kill one of them if it convinces you to stay. There are no lengths he wouldn't go to to prove his unending love for you.

♡ He already has your shared casket picked out. He picked it out within the first week of both of you dating. He's already written both of your wills with your future children in mind. He has the plot of land picked out and everything. He may not be a rich man, but he'd spend every penny he has to make sure your shared resting place is envious to the heavens.

♡ The day he is released is a day that will live in infamy within his mind. He finally knew that he had to tie you to him, both literally and figuratively. He understood how fickle humanity is. He needs to save you from the dangers and trauma he faced while in there. The same Kit that came into the asylum isn't the same one that came out. He's a lot more open about his obsessive and possessive tendencies. That crazed look in his hazel irises isn't clouded by his sweet and homey nature anymore. You could see it; you can see it now. You couldn't escape.

♡ He doesn't allow you to leave the house for the first few months. If you try to escape, then it'll be even longer before he allows you to roam free without many restraints. You are trapped within a prison of his own desire. He gaslights you into believing it's for the best. You know how dangerous the world is out there. He's been through the asylum. He knows. He just wants to protect you. Can't you see that? He's traumatized and wants to protect you from that trauma. So that means locking you away in your shared house and keeping you there. Don't worry about boredom. Kit will buy you anything that will make a smile appear on your features. He's addicted to it. You have no shortage of books and other trinkets to keep you entertained while he is out working. Just not anything that you could use to communicate with people. The last thing he needs is you getting that silly little idea in your head to call the police on him. 

♡ After about a year in captivity, assuming you haven't made numerous escape attempts, he'll propose to you and allow you to take short excursions with him. The wedding is just as he thought. It's just you, him, and the priest in the middle of the woods, only a few miles from your shared house. You may not have any guests or family, and he may have foraged the wedding certificate by signing fake people as witnesses, but your marriage is still real. A piece of paper doesn't define your love for each other. Of course, he murders the priest after. He chopped him up into tiny pieces with his axe, soaked his body in a mixture of chemicals, and then left those pieces of him at the bottom of lakes, rivers, and streams at least twenty miles away from the house. If you ask him what he's doing, he'll simply say that he's doing some spring cleaning. He's just taking out a bunch of old trash, that's all.

♡ Even when you gain more privileges, Kit still always has an eye on you. He's always close to you. He'll give you the illusion of space and privacy if he needs to. If you distance yourself too much from him, then he'll sweet talk you into letting him into your space once again. You don't feel good? It's because you haven't let him make you feel good in a while. You feel depressed because you aren't around him as much. You're isolating yourself from him. That's the problem. The problem is you. He'll be right here when you inevitably crawl back to him. He'll shush you and pepper kisses all along your body. You'll realize that you need him even more than he needs you. 

♡ Give it two to five years and a lot of begging, and he'll let you help him while he works. He doesn't let you do any hard labor or interact with the customers. No, honey, he keeps you safe and sound in the back of the shop. You can clean his tools, sort his things, and perhaps even handle the money if he trusts you enough. It may look mundane to most people, but you crave it. You've been starved of any autonomy for the past few years. Being able to control a small workplace is like being somewhere safe, somewhere without Kit. You can allow your mind to drift off and fool yourself into thinking that you are safe. You can just imagine that Kit is nowhere to be found. You can almost taste freedom on your tongue during those fleeting moments.

♡ If you ask for help from someone, he kills them and burns their bodies to ashes in the hearth in your home. He finds it extremely romantic. He'll cuddle into you and whisper sweet nothings into your ear. He'll nip at your skin and mark you up. He's just a bit jealous. He's just a little more possessive. He can't believe that you thought someone else was better than him. He can't believe you wanted to leave him. He'll show you how good you have it. He'll just have to show you again how good he makes you feel—inside and out. The vile dead bodies of the people who have tried to help you take you away from him will keep you both warm at night. He'll take you right in front of the fireplace. He'll claim you again near the sizzling embers of those who dared get near you.

♡ Kit Walker is still as in love with you as the day he laid eyes on you. He has fallen even further into the depths of his own obsession with you. He's ready to take the next step and start a family with you. He can't wait to see your little ones running around the home. He can't wait to see them graduate with you. He can't wait to grow old with you; his devotion to you never faltering. He just needs you to be with him forever, even into the afterlife. He loves you. He'd kill the devil and every god in existence if he had to, just to keep you in his arms forever more.

-‘๑’-

ׂׂૢ taglist: @coentinim @bluerthanvelvet444 @cxndiedvi0lets @doll3tt33 @lacucarachapisser @fear-is-truth @slutforgarlogan @newwavesylviaplath @marchsfreakshow @violet1737

-‘๑’-

[alien-til-i-stage]

TBH ID LVOE TO SEE U. LIKE. DO A FULL ANALYSIS ON ROUND 3 FOR IVAN?? if not thats okay ur js so cool bro...

AHHH I LOVE THIS QUESTION ROUND 3 IS ONE OF TOP FAVORITES RIFHT BEHIND EOUND 6

and even better yet I already did a pretty in depth analysis that i will break down for you rn. I wont analyze the song this post but if you want id be willing to in a later post heheh

(Ok so, this wouldve been done like yesterday but when i finished this analysis i forgot to save it and went to do smth else and when i came back IT WAS ALL GONE soooo there thats…..)

Round three starts off with Ivan and an unnamed character going on stage, from this episode we can see Ivan’s character being displayed throughout the song.

Some things that are displayed clearly is Ivan’s love for Till and his lack of rebellious spirit. However even this has layers of complexity I think needs to be explored.

Above, we see Ivan hanging off the building by an alien, while the other kids walking away or turning their backs to them. While he hangs off the cliff he looks up at the sky, staring at the stars instead of the alien himself. Next we see a closeup of his face as a shadow passes over him, however the stars still reflecting in his eyes.

Because it seems like Ivan is the only kid being hung off the building, we can assume this is because he did something that the aliens considered wrong. Perhaps either disobeying them aggressively or just not listening, this results in him being punished.

We can also see the other kids standing away from Ivan, almost as if trying to seperate themselves and turning their backs to him. Perhaps out of the guilt that they cannot help him.

This all leads Ivan to the lesson he learns this day. Rebellion will get him punished, he will be hurt if he doesn’t listen. In fact, this is the only time we see him being punished in his youth, showing how Ivan was able to escape punishment and physical abuse by listening to what the aliens wanted of him.

Another detail to point out is the way the shadow falls over his face. We see him bruised and crying, most likely to previous physical abuse we did not see, implying that this isn’t the only time he’s been punished.

I believe the shadow falling over his face is supposed to represent the mask Ivan wears his entire life. After this scene we constantly see Ivan being “perfect” and up to the alien’s standards. The shadow represents the mask he put on and the lesson he learned, in order to survive he must obey.

However he continues to look at the stars, something that is correlated with freedom to Ivan. I believe this is supposed to represent Ivan’s inner desires of freedom. How, despite putting on the mask and valuing his life over desires, he still has the want for freedom. He doesn’t want to be chained and masked his entire life, the desire is never taken out of him, despite him losing his own person by putting on the mask, the desire to be free is never lost.

After this scene, we continue onto these four shots that happen right after the other. He stands in the same position in each scene and doesn’t move unless he must do something. I believe this isn’t literal but rather metaphorical, instead representing his mask. He stands there, dull, and adapting to whatever sitaution he’s in, sitting at the table if needed, holding a trophy when he must, singing with everyone else, this scene is supposed to show how he does not do anything other then what he must.

Its hard to read him because he stands there with the same look on his face, as if his face itself is the mask as it never changes. This would also go to show how well this mask is for Ivan, how good he is at masking himself. He does not express his inner thoughts, he does not do what he wants, he does not move however he desires, instead he only does what the aliens want, shown by his unmoving stance in all of scenes above, he does not make any unnecessary moves, standing in place instead.

It can also be noted that despite the location changing in each picture, Ivan still holds the same position no matter what. I believe this is supposed to represent how, again, he believes no matter what he cannot take off his mask. In the auction, after he’s been bought, after he’s in Anakt Garden, he has banned himself from taking off the mask, continuing to be the perfect person that is demanded of him in order to survive, even if he won’t be punished for simply living in Anakt Garden, seen by Mizi and Sua. This shows how deeply the scene of him hanging off the building has impacted him, it influenced his entire life.

Right after this, we see Ivan standing alone in Anakt Garden, he is standing in the same position as always and he is alone. Next the red flowers pass by his face and Till runs past him. Till continues to chase the flowers into the dark corridor and Ivan watches, before following Till into the corridor.

This scene can perfectly describe their relationship and dynamic. Ivan, as we can, is alone and standing still. As already stated, him standing still is symbolic of his mask. Him standing alone is also symbolic of how alone Ivan truly is. Because of his mask he is unable to make those connections, as there will always be a wall seperating him from that.

However the only to get close to Ivan is Till. He brushes past him and that’s when he suddenly moves. He only looks at him at first, standing from afar, before following him. This is most likely symbolic of how the only person that was able to get the mask off of Ivan was Till. We know this because it was stated before that he seems to become immature and childish around Till, showing how it’s only around Till that he is able to remove said mask. He moves from his position and follows Till, something he never had to do, but something he chose to do. A decision that was finally his. I also think Ivan first watching Till from afar, then following is supposed to mirror how, later, Ivan watches both Till and Mizi stand against the guard dog. How he just simply watches first.

We commonly see Till with red flowers. These red flowers are representative of Till’s love and admiration for Mizi. When we see Till brushing past Ivan and chasing the flowers, not even paying attention to Ivan, this represents how Till continues to follow and chase after Mizi, ignoring the others around him, even if they are right next to him.

Till following the flowers to the corridor, ignoring the darkness of the path, is symbolic of how far he is willing to go for Mizi. It’s similar to the scene of Till rejecting Ivan and running back to Anakt Garden, despite it being the darkest route he could go. He continues to follow Mizi no matter where she is, even if it’s dangerous. And while Till follows Mizi, Ivan will follow Till. He also follows Till down the hall, similar to how, despite not having to, he goes back to Anakt Garden.

Right after this scene, we cut to a room thats assumed to be where the hallway lead them to. We see Mizi and Till in front of what looks to be a massive guard dog like alien. Ivan stands far away, where he isn’t seen as he watches on. Mizi is scared, seen by how she holds herself and stands in shock and Till looks hurt. He’s sitting on the ground as if he was just struck and Ivan continues to watch on.

As Till stands up, we see flashes of falling stars suddenly appearing while Ivan continues to watch Till, and once he fully stands up we can see as Ivan’s pupils dilate.

We can see, in later offical art, that this alien might not be a guard dog but rather a pet or companion given to Ivan. While it isn’t clear, we commonly see pictures of Ivan getting close to the alien or even in its mouth. The relationship between Ivan and this alien is unclear, in fact the entire existence of this alien is unclear. Such as, why is the alien attacking or scaring both Mizi and Till? If it’s supposed to be something related to Ivan, why is it hurting other humans?

The existence of this alien dog cannot be disputed, because this is the moment Ivan fell in love with Till. But it is curious about the entire situation. So let me try and break it down.

I mentioned before that Ivan seems to have a relationship with the guard dog, but I don’t think it’s a literal relationship. The guard dog is most likely trying to keep the kids out of something, however it is unclear what. If thats the case, then it would be strange that Ivan is friendly with this guard dog. I think, instead, Ivan sees himself in this guard dog.

He sees Till fighting, or trying to at least, against the dog. Something that *does* happen between him and Till during this point. The two of them get into fights because Ivan instigates to grab Till’s attention to him. He sees Till being hostile with this alien, something he believes Till is with him. Not to mention, this alien must be alone often. It’s job is to guard something, meaning it must be kept seperate from other aliens and humans and it must keep it up. It’s job is to keep others away. Ivan can relate to this as to him, his job is surviving, which indirectly results in him being alone. I believe the art of Ivan with the alien is not to say he has a relationship with the alien, but because he sees himself in him.

I also think that this is also symbolic of their relationship. How Ivan is there watching and observing Till, just seeing him in general, however Till does not notice him. He doesn’t look back at where Ivan is, because he doesn’t know he’s there. Instead he’s focused on whats in front of him right now. An alien and Mizi, similar to him focusing on his hatred for aliens and his love for Mizi.

I believe after Ivan sees this with Till and falls in love with him, he recreates this scene in his mind. We can see this with the scene above where Ivan looks at whats happening, instead this time he looks different. Before he looked with a curious gaze and intrigue, not too worried or emotionally invested. However now he’s shown with a gripped hand on the wall, with the wall showing obvious signs of damage due to someone gripping it repeatedly. We also see the eyes of Ivan, how it’s focused and this looking much more crazed then last time.

While this could also be literal, showing Ivan might be leading Till here and watching him, replaying the scene in reality, but I believe this is more then likely a scene he replays in his head, for multiple reasons.

Till would stop believing what Ivan says after a while, in fact its most likely that it was Mizi who got him in that corridor. Perhaps he followed her in there and got in that situation. Unless it was about Mizi, its more then likely that Till wouldn’t have even listened to anything Ivan says. I think the change in looks, like the hand gripping the wall and his eyes are supposed to represent how much he repeats this scene in his mind.

And as always, for every Ivan analysis we must talk about this scene.

We see as Ivan takes Till out of his restrains, showing him out of Anakt Garden. The two of them are shown running away from the building, getting far away from Anakt Garden. Yet, Till stops. He lets go of Ivan’s hand and stops in his tracks, suddenly he is scared and realizing that by leaving, he is leaving Mizi. Ivan is hurt as he watches Till running back to Anakt Garden, and he smiles. His smile is full of hurt but he is still smiling. We cut back to the stage where we see Ivan, now he is taking off his mask and finally showing his true feelings, the memories are making him emotional. However he quickly put the mask back on and finishes his song.

This whole scene is very literal, but it’s still worth analysizing. This goes back to the idea Till would follow Mizi anywhere. Just as he follows the red flowers down a dark corridor, he follows Mizi in Anakt Garden. This is a very confliciting for Till to do, it’s not as easy as it seems for him. In that moment when he lets go of Ivan’s hands, thats when the realiziation of everything suddenly hits him. He realizes that by leaving Anakt Garden, he is leaving Mizi. He looks up at Ivan in fear and guilt as he turns around and leaves him, not looking back. This shows that Till is aware of the weight of the decision he made. He knows what he lost, you can see him debating and struggling with this as he stands away from Ivan.

In the scene above, we can see both Ivan and Till running away together, they are holding hands and laughing together. This shows that while Till did reject Ivan and being free with him, the problem was never being with Ivan, in fact it seems he was excited for it. But the problem was leaving Mizi.

Speaking of this, we can see as the two of them are leaving, it’s important to note what they are specifically doing. Till is watching the skys, rushing forward in order to reach freedom, while Ivan watches Till, he is not looking towards the skies but focusing on Till and his reaction, this shows their priorities.

Till would’ve loved to be free, if it was with Mizi and not Ivan. Ivan would’ve loved to be with Till, even if it meant to be enslaved.

We see this pan out as Till runs back to be with Mizi. He wanted freedom, just not with Ivan. This hurts Ivan, now fully knowing his love is unrequited and as he watches Till leave him, he continues back. He is fully aware at this point that he is not loved back, and most likely will never be. But that isn’t what matters to Ivan, what matters to him is Till. He would be willing to be enslaved if it meant to be with him.

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

Everything repeats itself....

.... At least that’s what N.’s Mom thought.... I was at my prenatal check-up today. I had a CTG. Philip accompanied me. He's just my ride and N. knew about it!!

His Mom thought it was.... strange, that Philip accompanied me. I was mad, because it’s none of her business! I didn’t want to talk to her about it! I don't have to justify myself, for anything! N., P. & I closed that chapter, months ago! It’s been 2 years now, hell!! We know, it was a mistake, she doesn’t have to remind us all the time. We decided to leave the past behind.

But Nico’s Mom seemed to have to get something off her chest?

N.'s Mom: What’s going on here?

Philip: Um.. I was just about to say goodbye.

N.'s Mom: This may seem a little.... stupid to you two, but I want you to listen to me.

Me: Okay?😳

Philip: Go ahead! 🤷‍♂️

N.'s Mom: Back then, I stayed out of your business. I trusted that you all know what you are doing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to interfere this time either. But I must confess it was wrong of me and P.'s Mom, to look away. Once it was too late, we realized that. And even at this point, I didn’t really know what went wrong?None of you guys, were going to explain to me what had happened. Anyway, that's... ok! But this must not happen again!! It’s not just you three anymore! You P., have a little girl. Aleksa and N. are having a Baby. Everything you do, affects them too! I-.. I don’t want to accuse you of anything, Philip. Honestly not! Just don't ruin this for him! You shouldn’t see A. alone. I know you mean well, but sometimes the past repeats itself without us noticing.

Philip: Nico asked me, to take her to the hospital. Tbh, I’d just leave now! But I respect you. So I'm going to say something. I do this now, once, but after that, I never want to talk to you, or my mother, about this again. As you may know, Nico wanted me, to sleep with her. That was all his idea. I know that’s hard to understand, why he wanted that and and why I agreed to get involved. I mean... it was supposed to be just fun. But I wasn’t the reason they broke up! Nico and I weren’t jealous of each other! We followed our rules and... agh, sorry for my language! We shared A. fairly. But well, things got complicated. She didn’t want to be passed back and forth between Nico and me anymore. She felt used by us. And she also started doing that damn drug. She constantly lied to N. and me. That's why... N. left! He thought she was better off without him. He left it to me, to....fix her. Which didn’t work either. Her addiction was stronger. That’s the whole truth behind our.... failed... journey. It’s over, life goes on. But I’m not gonna ruin anything for Nico. Absolutely not! Anyway, I gotta go! 😣😠

N.'s Mom (to me): Is what he said... true? You didn’t choose Philip?

Me: I chose.... that poison. And my Dad, he... pressured Nico.

N.'s Mom: I know. And I’m sorry about what I said rn. But certain things repeat themselves, A.! Think about Annabelle & your little one. You don’t need Philip as a friend. Especially not as a replacement for N.

Me: I don’t want to talk anymore. Sorry. 😠

I was about to pack my things and go back to my parents. But I didn't want to upset N.! When he came home that night, I didn’t even mention it.

Previous/Next

[starfleetimagines]

Hello hi! I love your idea to do fics based on Spotify Wrapped! 💕 I'd like to request a reader-insert Chakotay fic if that's alright! (I feel like there's a real shortage of Chakotay fics that don't include a pairing with Janeway.) And let's go with numberrrrrr 38! Thank you, can't wait to see what you come up with! ☺️

Hiii I agree - there aren't enough reader insert Chakotay fics! Hope you like this xx

So Good [Chakotay]

Prompt: So Good by Halsey Word count: 1.8k Pairing: Chakotay x femme reader Notes: Let me know if you like the third person POV! Also I'm battling a head cold rn so I apologize for any errors or mistakes.

“I can’t.”

Y/N exhaled slowly, breath fanning Chakotay’s lips. “Then why are you here?”

Chakotay shut his eyes and leaned his forehead against Y/N’s forehead. “I don’t know.”

Y/N ran her hands down his sides and felt him shiver beneath her touch. “I saw it on your face, Chakotay. I know you feel this, too.”

“I do. I do, I just…” He shook his head and moved back, staring at her with mixed emotions: yearning, confusion, hurt, guilt, want. “I can’t.”

Y/N stared at him, stomach twisting. She swallowed hard, then pulled away. “You should go, then.”

Chakotay didn’t say anything for a few moments, and for a split second, he looked like he was going to kiss her. Then he shook his head and looked away. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

-

When Y/N was assigned to Voyager, she had no idea how emotionally strenuous their first mission would be. She knew the commander of the Maquis ship was a previous Starfleet officer, but she didn’t know it was Chakotay. The man she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since their last encounter years back; when he walked out of her apartment, likely to go hold his girlfriend’s body closer to him so he could forget about what he and Y/N had almost done.

Nothing had happened, not really. The two had been working together for several months and one night they’d been at Y/N’s apartment celebrating their project’s completion. They’d been sleep deprived, a little intoxicated, and had gotten a little too close. Y/N had known Chakotay had a girlfriend. She’d known he was unavailable, and it wasn’t until she felt his body heat radiating towards her on her couch, seeing his soft eyes linger on her face, that she’d realized how much she liked him. How she wished they could be more.

She knew it was bad. But they could have been so good.

Nothing happened, but oh how Y/N wished something had. She never would have wanted him to cheat on his girlfriend, but she’d been desperately hoping he’d tell her it was over. That what he and Y/N felt was real.

But that was years ago and she hadn’t seen him since.

Never in her wildest dreams did she think the two of them would somehow both wind up thrown across the galaxy and find themselves on the same ship, one which they’d likely spend the rest of their lives.

At first, she didn’t believe it. Through all of the chaos and danger, Y/N hadn’t really learned or met the Maquis until after the array had been destroyed and their fates had been sealed. She didn’t really get a chance to encounter more of them until she was trudging her way through the corridors of the ship, eager to collapse on her bed and pray she woke up back home on Earth. She passed by unfamiliar face after unfamiliar face—some in Starfleet uniforms that she just hadn’t had the chance to meet yet, and some still in their Maquis uniforms.

She was nearly at her quarters when she heard his name being uttered in passing. She stopped dead in her tracks and looked to the couple of Maquis talking to themselves down the corridor. She must have been hearing things, because there was no way…

“—I can’t believe Chakotay agreed to all this,” one of them said, “Letting Starfleet be in command of us all.”

“Yeah,” said the other. “Just because he used to be Starfleet, doesn’t mean we all want to be shoved into their stuffy system.”

Y/N stopped listening after that. Chakotay was there. On Voyager. In the Delta Quadrant. Stranded with the rest of them for who knew how long.

“Computer,” Y/N said. “Locate Chakotay.”

“Commander Chakotay is in his quarters.”

Y/N’s heard raced. She had a brief thought of, he’s already been promoted to commander? but quickly shoved that aside and asked the computer for the location of his quarters. She made her way there as quickly as she could without looking weird. When she reached his door, her hand hovered over the doorbell.

She didn’t even know what she was going to say to him, but she needed to see him. They’d have to speak to one another and work together eventually, so she might as well rip the bandage off.

Taking in a deep breath, she pressed the console and the chime rang.

“Come in.”

Y/N’s stomach flipped at the sound of his voice. She opened the door and stepped inside, heart beating so loudly she could barely hear anything else.

“Y/N?”

She turned and her lips parted. There he was, standing not ten feet from her. He looked the same, albeit with a new facial tattoo. He was still as handsome as she remembered him being.

“Hi,” Y/N said quietly, taking another step in to allow the door to close behind her.

Chakotay’s eyes darted around her, as if he couldn’t believe she was standing there. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head.

“I… heard you were on board,” she said slowly. “Thought I would… say hi.”

Chakotay took a small, hesitant step forward. “Y/N, I—wow. It’s… been a while.”

“Yeah.”

Chakotay offered her a smile. “It’s nice to see a friendly face.”

Y/N tilted her head to the side. “Who says I’m going to be friendly?” she mused lightly.

Chakotay chuckled. “Wishful thinking.”

Y/N returned his smile. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.” He waved to his couch. “Sit. I’d offer you a drink or something, but, well, you know the replicators are still down.”

Y/N nodded and moved to the couch. “It’s alright.”

Chakotay sat on the other end. He stared at her for a few moments in silence. “What are the odds?”

“I’m wondering that, myself.” Y/N shook her head slowly, still having a sense that all of it was just impossible; maybe she’d still wake up tomorrow and learn it was all a dream. But if it was a dream, she wanted to make the best of it.

She reached out her hand tentatively, resting it on the cushion between them.

A genuine smile spread on Chakotay’s face. He placed his hand atop hers and she took in a sharp breath. The warmth of his palm was comforting and familiar. She intertwined their fingers and Chakotay squeezed gently.

“I can’t believe you’re here,” Y/N murmured, staring at their hands. “I didn’t know you joined the Maquis.”

“When the fighting started on my home world, I had to go,” he replied simply. “I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing.”

Y/N nodded. “That makes sense.”

Chakotay made a soft, thoughtful sound.

Y/N looked up and met his gaze. “What?”

He smiled. “Nothing. Just nice that you aren’t ridiculing me.”

Y/N shook her head and gave him a funny look. “You know I wouldn’t do that. Especially not for something like that. Starfleet may deem the Maquis to be terrorists, but… If someone came by Earth one day and said we had to give the planet to, say, the Xindi? Yeah, pretty sure a lot of people would also rebel against that.”

Chakotay’s smile widened. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Y/N’s cheeks flushed and she ducked her head. “I know the fight must mean a lot to you—you never were one to resort to violence unless absolutely necessary—but… I’m glad you’re here away from it.” She cringed. “Not that I want you to be stranded in the Delta Quadrant for the next seventy years, but—”

Chakotay’s quiet chuckle cut her off. “I know what you’re trying to say.”

She nodded silently.

Chakotay gave her hand a squeeze. “We should probably talk about things. If we’re going to be working together for the rest several decades.”

Y/N’s stomach flipped. She nodded because of course she wanted to talk about it, but at the same time she just wanted to keep talking to him about anything but. It was just so nice to be with him like that: close but not too close with a comfortable, unspoken trust between them. “Yeah, I know. Look, I—I’m sorry. I know it was bad—that I didn’t push you away or stop you more. I know nothing really happened, but I shouldn’t have let things get so… emotionally complicated before that night.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Chakotay said. “You aren’t responsible for my actions.”

“Still… I should have respected your relationship more.”

“I appreciate you saying that,” he said softly. “So should I.”

Y/N bit her lip and looked at him for a few moments. “Are you two still together? I know… I know a lot of people on board are struggling with the realization that they won’t see their partners for a long time.”

Chakotay’s look softened. “No, we broke up.”

“Oh.” Y/N’s heart fluttered, but she instantly felt guilty because she shouldn’t feel happy that his relationship didn’t work out.

“That night,” he said slowly, carefully, “after I left, I… I did a lot of thinking. No matter what happened with you and I, I knew I had to end things with her.”

“Oh,” Y/N repeated, unsure of what else to say.

“So I did. I broke up with her and there wasn’t anything I wanted more than to go to you and tell you how I felt.” A look of guilt passed over his features. “But it didn’t feel right. Not right after I broke up with her. So I waited to let the dust settle and see if space between you and I would change anything.” He shook his head. “But you were all I thought about, Y/N. Everything reminded me of you, but then more time passed and it just never felt right to reach out to you again. The project we’d been working on had ended and we both had new assignments… But I never stopped thinking about you.”

Y/N shifted closer. “I never stopped thinking about you, either. I felt awful for what happened. I knew it was bad, and I knew that reaching out to you so soon after would be even worse. But… but I never stopped thinking about what we could have been.”

Chakotay lifted her hand and feathered his lips to her knuckles. “It isn’t too late to find out.”

Y/N’s breath hitched. “I guess not.”

“If you want to give it a try,” Chakotay said, staring at her. “I won’t beg or force you, and I will back off immediately if you tell me to. But we’ve been given a second chance, and I… I think we could be good together.”

Y/N pulled her hand out of his and hurt flashed across his features. But then she took his face in her hands and moved closer and just before she kissed him, she saw him smile.

Tag list: @agent-catfish-kenobi, @make-me-imagine, @plaguedoctorsnake, @gatefleet, @shadyfirecollector, @space-helen, @thisismysecrethappyplace - I apologize if the tag list is incorrect, it's been a while lol

[btshoseong]

👣. !!: AMERICAN HUSTLE LIFE EP.1 ‧₊˚

↺ 💌 ࣪ ˖ ∿ author’s note , @ italics are used to indicate when hoseong, the members or others are speaking in english. also p.s i forgot just how crazy this show was even from the start 🤡

QUESTION: What does se3oul think Hip-hop is?

SE3OUL: “Uh… black history? At least from the rap songs I’ve listened to – uh, they often talk about their experiences and how they’re perceived by other people. It’s about telling your story.” *nodding to himself as he rubs his arm*

All members are in the practice room right now, having just finished their dance rehearsal whilst Bang PD is stood off to the side.

RAP MON: “2, 3,”

ALL MEMBERS: *bowing in unison* “Hello!”

Bang PD calls all of the boys over, and they oblige, catching their breaths. Hoseong wipes the sweat on his forehead with his shirt.

BANG PD: “Didn’t I promise you guys?” *watching the members with his hands clasped behind his back*

BANG PD: “What it would be like later… there’s a new experience for you guys. I said if it’s possible, I would let you guys learn new things.”

BANG PD: “In my standpoint, it is time I commit to that promise.”

Some of the members smile, giggle, and cheer, clearly excited. Hoseong, who also had his hands clasped behind his back, bumps shoulders with Jeongguk beside him, smiling cheekily.

JIMIN: “Jeongguk and Hoseong hyung have bragged so many times.”

BANG PD: “Brag about what?”

SUGA: “That they’ve been to America before. They said the air is different and everyone is very social.”

RAP MON: “America is America. If we can experience it more…”

BANG PD: “It’s an experience that everyone has.”

The members all nod, agreeing.

BANG PD: “But also… just so you know, you’re not going to play around, right?”

Hoseong is the first to wave his hands in disagreement, causing the members to laugh and follow his sentiments as Bang PD smiles, acknowledging the boys.

BANG PD: “I know you guys might feel excited, but it’s better to come to your senses quickly. You’re not going there to play around.” *pd-nim serious mode is on rn but he soon relaxes*

BANG PD: “So you guys will work well, right?” *smiling again*

ALL MEMBERS: *in unison* “Yes!”

BANG PD: “You must do well. I’ve prepared something special. It’s a surprise gift.”

BANG PD: “This will probably be the first and last time in your career as singers. ‘Again’? Don’t have those types of thoughts.” *teasing a little bit*

The members laugh again, nodding. Bang PD finally pulls out a golden coloured envelope, earning shocked cheers from the boys who clap loudly.

Hoseong thinks his eyes are betraying him for a moment, and he tilts his head with a dramatic open mouthed expression, reaching his hand out to the envelope but controlling his urge to touch.

SE3OUL: “Ah, last time I only got to go with Jeongguk-ah. I think the experience will become much more meaningful with us all going together.”

BANG PD: “It’s great, isn’t it?”

V: “It’s crazy! We’re really going to America!”

RAP MON: “We really will do well.”

JIN: “We’ll do our best.”

BANG PD: “I’ll give this to your manager to hold on to, and will give this to you when you get to America.” *talking about the envelope, and then hands it over to the manager standing next to him*

RAP MON: “2, 3,”

ALL MEMBERS: *in unison* “Bangtan! Thank you! We will work hard!” *bowing*

QUESTION: What do you want to do in America?

SE3OUL: “I want to go to one of those landmarks and take a picture. I’ll edit my parents and sister into it too. I want to also eat the different foods they have there that we don’t get back here in Korea. I really liked their hot dogs, though.”

The members finally arrive at Incheon Airport. The most energetic of the boys chant a series of “America! America man! LA!” as they get out of the car.

After passing through security and bagging and such, the boys are seated filming inside of the plane.

J-HOPE: “Right now… we are going to America. It’s LA.” *doing a little peace sign*

J-HOPE: *pointing the camera in hoseong’s direction beside him who is already settled and scrolling through his mini tv screen for something to watch* “Yo! Se3oul! How do you feel about going to LA again?”

SE3OUL: *realising he’s being filmed and licks his lips, turning to face the camera, leaning on the arm rest* “Uh… you know, it’s fun and all, but when you actually get there it’s just work, work, work. There’s not too much time for playing around. I think it’ll be a good experience with the members. I want to see how they feel about this.”

J-HOPE: *affirming that he’s listening and nods, then turns back the camera towards himself* “This is my first time going, guys. I think I’m more excited since I’m not going alone. Otherwise I’d probably have been scared.” *laughing*

J-HOPE: “I’m also eating right now.” *showing his food real quick* “Food fighter! Let’s go!”

The video then cuts to Yoongi and Jimin who are also eating, and then Seokjin and then Taehyung. Jeongguk is fast asleep.

SUGA: *filming himself and jimin* “We are on a plane on our way to LA.” *showing his tv screen that shows how long it will take* “Wow… we have to fly a long way.”

A few hours later and they arrive at LAX Airport.

JIN: “Once I get off this plane, I must breathe in the fresh air.”

Quite a few fans await them at LAX Airport. The boys exit with their bags. Hoseong waves happily to everyone, bowing quickly before they attempt to push through the crowd and head outside.

Once they enter the car, they finally exit the airport and head to their destination.

SE3OUL’S REACTION TO FANS AT LAX AIRPORT.

SE3OUL: “It’s always so nice to see fans make time to see us, even outside of live events. I just worry that they might get hurt sometimes in big crowds.”

J-HOPE: *looking out of the car* “Woah. America is really not a joke.”

SE3OUL: *laughing* “What’s that supposed to mean? You thought it wasn’t a real place?”

SUGA: “The feels are here. America- the feelings of America are coming.”

JUNGKOOK: “Hyungs’ reactions are so cute.”

JIMIN: “Jeongguk-ah, Hoseong hyung, I’ll rely on you guys here, okay?”

SE3OUL: *clasping hands with jimin as a promise* “You can count on us. We’ll be your tour guide.”

J-HOPE: “Yeah, yeah. Be our guide~!”

V: *mimicking hoseong’s voice* “Oh, maknaes, you can’t go over there.”

J-HOPE: *mimicking jeongguk’s voice* “Ah, Hoseong hyung and I should’ve just come here by ourselves again.”

SE3OUL: *already done with those two* “At this rate I might just make sure you get lost on purpose.” *shaking his head*

MANAGER: *pulling out the golden envelope* “Guys, this is the allowance given by Bang PD-nim back in Korea.”

ALL MEMBERS: *immediately start celebrating by clapping and hollering*

MANAGER: “You must spend it wisely.” *gives the envelope to jeongguk*

The boys arrive at LA Dodgers Stadium where they are allowed to make a quick stop to watch the game. They all have a fun time, celebrating their team’s wins, dancing around and cheering loudly.

Their second destination then takes them to the beach. The boys are all having a fun time exploring the city, and once they’ve had their fun, they all head back to the car.

Time is slowly ticking away, and soon, night time approaches them. The boys are informed that they are heading to the office.

The car arrives at Local Coordi’s office ( the driver ). He gets out, as does the manager. The boys remain in the car.

A few minutes later, a few men dressed in black approach. They enter the car, as the members are startled.

ALL MEMBERS: *panicking a little, especially hoseong*

KIDNAPPER 1: *talking to jeongguk* “Give me your phone.” *trying to forcefully take it from him*

JUNGKOOK: “Why?” *x4*

SE3OUL: *breathing has picked up pace a little* “Jeongguk-ah, just do as he says.” *doesn’t want maknae to get hurt*

KIDNAPPER 1: *talking to hoseong* “What the hell are you saying to him?”

SE3OUL: “Asking… to give you the phone. I’m asking him to give you the phone.”

All of the members’ phones are forcibly taken away. Hoseong is struggling to keep himself in check, but Hoseok and Namjoon who are sat on either side of him, hold his hand tightly to calm him down.

KIDNAPPER 2: “Don’t worry. We’re gonna take you to your hotel. Just relax.”

The kidnappers start driving the car out of the parking lot without the manager in sight!

JUNGKOOK: “No, no, no.”

KIDNAPPER 3: “Yes.”

JUNGKOOK: “Hyungs, say something.” *trying to get help from his elders*

They continue driving silently. The boys are frozen in fear.

Soon they arrive at LA’s famous Kid Row. The car comes to a halt and the kidnappers exit to get rid of a beggar that suddenly approaches them, banging on the windows. Hoseok and Hoseong hold on to each other for dear life.

KIDNAPPER 2: *motioning for the boys to come out* “Let’s go! Let’s go!” *clearly impatient*

The boys quickly pile out of the cars and follow their kidnappers into one of the buildings.

KIDNAPPER 1: “Let’s go! Let’s go! Come on! Come on!” *guiding the boys into a living room area*

KIDNAPPER 2: “Sit down right here, right here.” *talking about the sofas set out for them*

ALL MEMBERS: *oblige silently*

KIDNAPPER 3: “Look straight, look straight. Just look straight ahead.” *motioning at the tv so they understand better*

JUNGKOOK: *still a little confused, mimicking the gestures and trying to comprehend what they mean*

KIDNAPPER 3: “Straight, straight. Here, here.” *getting up to show him*

KIDNAPPER 1: *getting aggravated and squares up to jeongguk* “Do you want to get into a fight, man? Look straight, fool!”

SE3OUL: *leaning in to whisper to jeongguk* “He’s telling you to look at the screen. Just listen quietly.”

JUNGKOOK: *seems to understand better and looks straight, although he’s obviously still very nervous*

KIDNAPPER 2: “Take off your hats and put them on the table.”

All of the members that were wearing hats quickly take them off, following Namjoon and Hoseong’s lead.

KIDNAPPER 2: “Take your shoes off too.”

Since Hoseong understands English so well, he immediately reaches down to undo his shoes, patting Jeongguk’s feet in order to convey the message to him, not wanting his maknae to be yelled at.

Again, the other members follow the lead of the ones who understand the instructions.

KIDNAPPER 1: “Look at his socks.” *poking fun at jeongguk’s iron man socks*

SE3OUL: *frowning* “He’s just a kid.”

KIDNAPPER 2: *squaring up to hoseong* “You talking back to him?”

SE3OUL: “I’m just saying-”

KIDNAPPER 2: “Shut up, fool! This ain’t your playground.”

KIDNAPPER 3: “Everyone take one sock off. I want one sock on the table.”

ALL MEMBERS: *obliging quietly once again*

After waiting quietly, the screen finally turns on with the voice of a narrator to accompany the texts on screen. The boys are introduced to the American Hustle Life Hip Hop School intro, informing them about what’s to come tomorrow.

KIDNAPPER 1: “We’re gonna be back here tomorrow so y’all can just stay here.”

KIDNAPPER 3: “We’ll be watching you.”

Finally, all of the kidnappers leave the members alone. The boys look amongst themselves, clearly still confused at what had just occurred. Hoseong runs his fingers through his hair, stressed.

RAP MON: *talking to hoseok* “Yah, go take a look.”

JIN: “Yah, yah… what would happen if you open the door and they’re there?”

J-HOPE: *making his way to the front door, opening it to see if the kidnappers are still there, and they’re not* “Ah… they’re gone.”

SE3OUL: “This is seriously crazy.”

QUESTION: What was your mood like when you were kidnapped?

SE3OUL: “Ah… I don’t even know if I want to talk about it. I guess- I just really thought my life was going to be over then, even before it had really begun. I thought I was going to pee myself or cry.” *laughing awkwardly*

The boys start gathering their things before getting ready for bed.

SUGA: “Yah… just sleep… just sleep like this.” *talking about sleeping in airport clothes*

ALL MEMBERS: *slowly beginning to make their way over to the bunk beds set out in the corner*

V: “Yah… did you bring your phone?”

RAP MON: “What do we do? We don’t even have our luggage.”

After sleeping soundly in bed, the boys’ Hip hop teachers arrive to wake the boys up the next day. They clap loudly, yelling and banging their hands on the metal railings of the bunks.

The boys begin to leave the bed, but today, they seem far more relaxed as they greet the teachers.

TONY: “What did y’all come to LA for?”

RAP MON: “To learn music.”

NATE: “What kind of music do y’all make?”

SE3OUL: *nodding as joon gestures for him to answer* “Uh, it’s kind of like hip-hop…”

NATE: “Hip-hop? What kind of music do y’all make?!” *trying to hype them up*

ALL MEMBERS: *yelling in unison* “HIP-HOP!”

QUESTION: What was it like meeting the teachers for the first time?

SE3OUL: “I was so tired from yesterday’s events… I was honestly still half asleep even with all of the efforts to wake us up. I was like… ‘oh? are the kidnappers back?’, but these hyungs were actually very cool. They seemed happy to want to teach us about hip-hop. I think Nate is super cool.” *doing a little finger heart for nate with a cute smile*

After everyone is gathered in the living room again.

TONY: “So how are you guys doing?”

RAP MON: “We came to LA for making music and to meet you guys, the tutors, but we actually didn’t know anything about this so… it was quite surprising.”

TONY: “Okay, we’ll start with the introductions. We’ll introduce ourselves, and we’ll go down the line and you can tell us your names and a little bit about yourselves. Okay? So you wanna start Dante?”

DANTE: “Well, I’m Zaire, man. I’m a rapper and a producer.”

NATE: “Nate Walka. I’m a writer and a rapper, and a producer.”

TONY: “I’m Tony Jones. I come from Texas.”

After the introductions are done, they all get down to business.

TONY: “We have you guys for two weeks.” *shaking his head* “Can’t go home. We work, no play. Not too much sleeping.”

TONY: “Rule number two; we’re going to have competitions. We’re going to have a winner and a loser.”

NATE: “The winners are going to get a prize. You’re going to get some type of reward. You understand?”

TONY: “The losers? Bad,” *immediately shaking his head and waving his arms in disapproval*

TONY: “Rule number three; you’re gonna listen to us. We’re here to help you guys.”

TONY: “So BTS, we have a very, very special guest. A legend in the rap game.”

SUGA: *excited* “Who’s… who’s coming?”

TONY: “He’s known internationally. He’s gonna come here to speak with you guys. Make sure you pay attention, okay?”

The teachers all leave as the boys discuss who could be showing up. The rapper who makes an appearance turns out to be Coolio!

QUESTION: What was it like for you seeing Coolio for the first time?

SE3OUL: “I think my brain short circuited a bit. He had such an intimidating and confident aura about him that I’d almost forgotten he was actually there to teach us hip-hop. I think I might’ve fanboyed.” *scratching his head with a blush*

COOLIO: “Y’all speak english?”

The members immediately look between Namjoon and Hoseong.

COOLIO: *asking yoongi* “How did hip-hop start? Where did it start?”

COOLIO: *moving on to seokjin* “What was the first rap single to go platinum?”

The members can’t seem to answer. Coolio stands up from his seat on the sofa.

COOLIO: *to jimin* “What group is Chuck D from?”

COOLIO: *walking over to the other side where other members are*

V: *looking up at coolio cutely* “Hello.”

Other members can’t help but laugh at Taehyung’s cuteness. Hoseong watches him with adoration.

V: *shaking hands with coolio* “What’s up? Turn up!”

COOLIO: *adjusting his sunglasses* “What does turn up mean?”

V: “Let’s go party? You know, turn up!!” *starts dancing a little bit*

COOLIO: *clearly not impressed*

V: “Ah sorry…”

COOLIO: “Give me twenty-five push-ups.”

Tune in to the second episode to see what happens next!

💬 — HOSEONG’S TAGLIST.

@pandorasword , @ateezsora , @bts-dream , @fairiepoems , @kaitieskidmore97

[sorcerous-caress]

Oh, concept wise! I gotcha, hmm, how would the companions handle being in a familiar position as Penelope? Who'd stay strong for the full 20 years? Who'd falter in the midst of pressure and harassment?

I think out of all the companions, Minthara would handle it the best. Considering how noble drow politics and squabbles are, the harassment would be akin to water off a ducks back. She was molded and grown by the worst Menzoberranzan nobility has to offer if a pack of fools think that they can bend her will, they have another thing coming.

Wyll, despite all the love he has for you, would succumb to the pressure, I feel like. He has an image and duty to uphold. He can not fail his nor his father, not again. He takes no joy in what he has to do, but he'll start to listen to proposals after a few years pass, as every word is whispered into his ear or paper that passes his hands; he'll clench his teeth and stare forward.

I would write more, but it's 1am. rn for me, and I gotta sleep and go to work at 5 am.

Fuck now you're making me wanna write an angsty fic where Minthara waits for reader who promised they'd be back. We can also use Minthara's scrapped storyline and give her the child back

Just like Odyssey, Reader left when their child was barely walking. They didn't want to go but it was either taking their infant's life or taking themselves far away from home.

Remember how you described Minthara as submissive as a watchdog? She'd be the type to wait for you at the door. Resetless and pacing, snapping at every little thing. Thinking how you must return, how she will wait all her life her if she has to. Even when doubt crosses her mind she stays strong.

Imagine how extra sad it would be if you were a human or from a short-lived race. She spends all her remaining lifetime waiting for you even when it would be impossible for you to show up after 50 years have passed. Whole centuries that she keeps waiting through for a ghost.

Wyll will move on, I think all companions with a hint of human in them will move on because that is our nature. We are verstile and adaptable, we weren't built for longterm devotion but for innovation.

Wyll, Gale and even Shadowheart will move on. For Shadowheart it will be much harder because part of her wants to stay, wants to believe you will return. She will be the last to crack between Gale and Wyll.

Astarion would wait, he will constantly complain about it but despite it all he will wait for you. Joking to the empty spot on the bed besides him on how he will march to the tavern and drag a random fool home if you do not show up today, but he never does no, he doesn't even look at people that way anymore since the last time you've kissed him.

[sorensolsikke]

i am here with some emergency "tips" (much more like experience with my own mental illness) for teens with depression and ptsd, struggling with sh, suicidal thoughts and anxiety.

please only read further if you are sure you are stable enough rn for reading through advice. keep in mind that i am only just another survivor, my "tips" may not work for you at all (we are all different creatures), and following some advice could never replace several years long therapy. please understand that i do not want to change you, nor want to trivialize your suffering. i am just genuienly worried about your well-being, and want to pass over some knowledge i learnt the hard way, hoping it may reach some people who need to hear this.

[about me in brief/you don't need to read this, only if you are curious: hello, i am soren, 17, audhd, genderfluid pansexual. my parents are divorced, therefore i grew up in two seperate abusive households. i lived through physical and verbal abuse, sexual trauma at a young age, and was a puppet for my parents' arguments through all my life. i have four younger siblings. with mother, we lived on the streets for months when i was around 12, and just generally, we lived in poverty. her second husband was an alcoholic and beat my two smaller siblings while my mother had been working, therefore i wasn't really allowed to go out until i was 15 (when i got into a psychiatry for a few weeks.) i've been on therapy (and working hard for my mental health) for five years now, and i am more or less healed from depression and self harm, although i have had a couple of incompetent therapists too. feel free to tell me your own story: i will be here to listen. that's all about me; i told you all of this so you could make sure i am really only speaking from my own experience.]

firstly, i want to emphasize again that not all of my tips will work for you, and that's okay, we are just different. i am really proud that you are trying to find solutions: that must require so much energy of you. please don't be mad at yourself if something doesn't work out for the first time, i am sure you are doing your best at the moment, and that's more than enough.

one of my main points is that healing hurts more than staying in suffering. healing and trying to make things better is tiring, requires lots of courage and is sometimes demotivating. healing will make you ask: is it worth it? and your mind will tell you no, it never will, life is stupid. but in fact it IS worth it. it will worth it when you move out and create your own home, your own safe place with food and smells that you like. it will worth it when you leave school, and maybe start studying what you truly like, or get a job that makes you feel safe and you get your own money. it will worth it when you get your dream haircut. it will worth it when you will laugh with your friends over a campfire. it doesn't seem like all of this is possible rn, but you don't have to believe it yet, you are not a bad person because you are not believing. i just hope you will remember that some guy also thought it won't ever get better and suicide is the best solution, and this guy was incredibly shocked when it actually got better. choosing healing is an utterly hard step, especially when you are ready to throw away everything. "why would i keep trying then?" you could ask. and i would answer: out of spite. do it because those fuckers who made everything so unbearable for you have no fucking right to take your life away from you too.

accept that new (and often good) solutions will sometimes make you furious or irritated. your mind really just wants to get some fucking rest and try to survive; you won't really like the new mental tasks you may choose to perform, and that's okay. it's enough if you try.

when you feel suicidal or want to harm yourself, ask yourself "what am i really feeling now?" is it anger? guilt, shame, anxiety? emptiness? and when you got your answer, ask "what made me feel like this?"

watch your language. saying "i want to kill myself" about every minor inconvenience was very much of my usual, and it was awfully hard to get used to alternatives. but it was worth it, because saying this stuff reinforces the bad thoughts so much, and also, saying unhinged alternative crap made me a lot funnier (like "i want to fucking make this teacher dance to motherfucking macarena"). if you really really want to say it, because it helps you release frustration, try saying it like "i feel like i want to kill myself". it's basically the same, you just don't make the feeling equal to your core self.

about sh... you could say "it's my body, i do whatever i want to do with it" and you are very right. i only advise you against it because selfharm always makes you value yourself less and less, it reinforces the dark spiral of depression (i feel so bad and absolutely hopeless -> i hurt myself to get some relief and endorphines -> oh fuck, the relief is gone, i feel so bad and absolutely hopeless...), and also, why would you make yourself suffer more than once? (when i did sh, it was usually because someone hurt my feelings or i thought i needed punishment. i was wrong. the people around me would have needed punishment from me. i didn't deserve to be hurt by myself too.)

so well, only if you have energy and will to try, you can work out a plan BEFORE getting to sh itself. my Plan in order is: 1. workout (it helps me through anger a lot. i recommend considering it), 2. taking a shower with nice smelling shower gel, 3. putting on comfortable clothes, 4. eating comfort food and drinking water!! 5. (optional) sleeping. if i have gone through The Plan, and i still feel the inevitable need to harm myself, letsgo. nothing will stop me then.

if you want to stop sh, you have to accept you may relapse from time to time. that's okay, that happens, sh can be the same as drug addiction, and you can't always be in control. your only goal is to do it more and more rarely. that's all.

if you know you are going to have a hard day, try to prepare for it. put on comfortable underwear, bring your plushie with you, drink lots of water and have some breakfast. even very bad days end in a few hours.

just generally, when you are feeling shitty and completely out of energy, focus on practical things and bodily needs and healthy coping mechanisms. even mute social media completely for a few days when you feel overwhelmed by the world's problems.

friends who make you feel like they are more hurt from your mental illness than you are (absolute bullcrap) wouldn't deserve you to tell them how you are feeling. of course you might not have anyone else to share things with, and that is not your fault. just be reminded that if they accuse you for making them feel sad WHEN YOU LITERALLY WANTED TO DIE IN THAT VERY MINUTE, you are very rightfully mad at them.

through panic/anxiety attacks and meltdowns!!! they can be unimaginably scary, i know. it's hard to help yourself out of them alone. the thing you can do is 1. breathing (in in in in, hold hold hold hold, out, out out, out, out.) for at least ten times. 2. finding and naming(!!) in your environment four objects you can see, four colors you can see, four things you can feel with your skin, and four things you could smell. 3. drinking some water and give yourself as much time as possible.

general advice: go to nature regularly (if you are able to). it sounds stupid, but nature helped me through many many hard weeks. it's worth a try.

for sleeping problems, try melatonin.

learn some very basic yoga poses!! like, four of them. perform when feeling the need for it (when your back or hips or neck hurts.) will also help you sleep better.

let yourself just... do nothing sometimes. capitalism makes you feel bad for being unproductive, but that's a big word from a system that generally overworks its employees so much that their performance is at least only half as good as it could be in a better environment. you are allowed to rest when things are heavy. you will have time for everything later, when you are not struggling this much.

most of the people on the streets or in school don't care about how you look or what you are doing, if they don't explicitly mention it to you. i know social anxiety tells you otherwise, but keep in mind that nobody can read your thoughts. people can look at you and very rarely can think about what you are feeling at that moment, but they can only guess. you are safe. you can put on crazy maskara if you'd like to or dress like you feel. most people genuienly couldn't care less (just think about how much you care about other people's appearences, voices or stuffs.).

that's all for today i guess, these were the lifehacks i used for better (other than having a psychologist). if i was wrong with something, please correct me. i hope i could helped, or at least i didn't make things worse. i genuienly wish you happiness, and i hope you'll get to be safe. i am already proud of you for doing this shit for so long, no matter what you'll do in the future btw. i hope you'll have a nice day, and if i could, i would genuienly get you your favourite flowers tomorrow morning.

[ghooostbaby]

was tagged by @muigiel ^^

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? i heard "ghost baby" could be a translation of wei ying (from mdzs) and i really loved that vibe

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. @revengegarden which i use to put art inspiration in.

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i think i first joined when it was in beta in like 2009! i didnt really know how to use it though. i used it intermittently over the years to post silly poetry and save stuff from the internet i enjoyed. i never really interacted with anyone or understand how that worked. i made a new account in 2020 when i got interested in fandom stuff during pandemic lockdown times..

4. do you have a queue tag? no

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? well i answered that above kind of ... i've always sort of gotten weird obsessed with whatever i'm watching or reading, no one else i knew really had the same level and that i remember during the first weeks of lockdown searching stuff on what i was watching instead of bothering uninterested people about it and ended up on tumblr looking at fan art of zuko and sokka :P and all these people losing it over fictional characters i was like ... i think i'm home? so i got a tumblr to participate in it more.

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? my name is from wei wuxian so i wanted a pic of him! he was sort of my main blorbo at the time making this account, and he truly captured my heart when he was all red-eyed insane with rage playing his demon flute

7. why did you choose your header? i don't know what my header is haha

8. what’s your post with the most notes? i'm not sure exactly, but i think the last 'annual stats' thing tumblr shared was a feverish cumplane head canon i posted. i also get notes every day on a recent post about wu ming fanon vs canon. but actually my looooong ranting meta about wei wuxian and lan wangji is probably the most notes. but reading that meta makes me want to hide under a rock encountering my past self

9. how many mutuals do you have? a couple

10. how many followers do you have? o.o

11. how many people do you follow? a few hundred i think?

12. have you ever made a shitpost? *looks up definition of shitpost* no

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? probably an hour a day just scrolling on my phone when i'm too tired to do anything else... i've had a job this summer that has been brutally long hours and tiring so i'm not in the mood to sit at my computer much

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? sometimes haha. listen, sometimes people have takes that are so bad i have to say SOMEthing. then i get so terrified of being yelled at i delete everything or ignore tumblr for 2 weeks or ask @muigiel if people are being mean in my notes hahaha

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts ummmmm

16. do you like tag games? it's nice to be tagged! atm i usually don't have time when i receive them and then the notification passes and i forget, this one i put in my drafts though

17. do you like ask games? love to be a part of one one day T.T idk maybe more people would send me asks if i turned on anon but a year or so ago i started getting all these terfs harassing me in my asks (must be doing something right?) so i turned off anon. one actually was mad enough to send me a death threat (?!) from their account so i was able to report them

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? haha i don't have many, just all of us small fish swimming together.. but i think a lot of people in danmei fandoms really love what @baiwu-jinji posts :) although i think they're not super active rn or we're not on at the same times

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? no but if you're in love with me let me know! i wouldn't be opposed to a tumblr romance :P

20. what is the last song you listened to? hmmmm i think i was listening to a Grouper album last

21. what are you currently watching? i wanted to find something new to watch that had perfect gorgeous visuals of beautiful outside places and ended up watching Orlando last night

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? all!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? tgcf, he xuan, yin yu, maurice (film & reading the book)

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

maurice soundtrack !!

80s dancey music bc my taste definitely gears towards lyricless and traditonal/folk music but i've been working with kids who all want to listen to justin bieber all the time so trying to get some fun pop music i can also enjoy (i just hate the sounds of contemp pop music sorry, somehow it feels so... digital? data-driven? written by AI?) - and actually have found madonna is soooo good.

and then relistening to old favourites... yesterday i was enjoying my rock n roll romance playlist which has david bowie, bauhaus, wanda jackson (tunnel of love), suicide (cheree), roy orbison, dead or alive

if you want to take a look inside my brain https://www.nts.live/shows/cantus-orbis

tag 9 people.. uhh. how about just @unfotp @marloviandevil @baiwu-jinji but no obligation!

[trashworldblog]

I AM SEVEN BUFUCKING HOURS LATE BUT...

BETH!!! TUMBLR USER TRASHWORLDBLOG!!! GUY FIERI!!!

You are incredible. Seriously. There's not really a concrete way I can describe just how cool you are. And by "cool" I MEAN cool, I'm not just grasping for a positive adjective to hype you up I MEAN IT. The first time you ever reached out to me in tumblr.com I was low-key stunned because THAT'S THAT COOL PERSON WHO POSTS THE FUNNIEST SHIT AND IS SO NICE AND AWESOME AND SHE WANTS TO TALK TO ME??? BOOG???

All Boog mentions aside, you're genuinely such a good friend. You make me feel valid and appreciated and listened to and I LOVE our silly little Tumblr takeovers (I am free all day tomorrow 👀) and how FAR we'll take our silly little jokes. You're also such a genuinely kind and positive force in this community like HELLO??? ILY??? And you're so creative and funny and just... The way you love the little things in life is so, so inspiring and I just care about you a lot, okay??? Even though you are evil.

That being said, the birds are still coming. Brennan and Steven are having a bit of a fight rn so management is all fucked and the army is out of control. I'm just a general in their squadron so I can't really change it. Sorry.

HOWEVER, if you follow the four commandments of ancient wisdom, you should be fine:

Fuck it, we ball

Commit to the Bit

Serve Cunt

Camp is everything

I hope you feel really loved and appreciated today, because you truly, truly are. Happy birthday, Merry Independence Day, Feliz Turkey Dinner, and I hope you Chicago your way through life. Best Boog wishes are being sent your way in 3... (there is no escape) 2... (i'm being serious) 1... (NO STOP RUNNI-

BOOG I AM SPEECHLESS WKJWJDLS

i- THIS IS SO KIND AND SWEET AND AMAZING AND KIND ANFJRJFLDENFOAKSKGJGM

OF COURSE ID TALK TONYOU YOURE SO INCREDIBLY FUNNY AND CLEVER AND KIND !! EVRRYONE SEES THAT!!! <3

youre also a genuinely amazing freind. i always feel so listened to and appreciated and understood. plus we know when to get silly and evil 😈😈 tommorow is gonna be very silly. YOURE ALSO AN AMAZINGLY FUNNY AND POSITIVE FORSE IN THE COMMUNITY AND IM SO HAPPY THAT YOU THINK I AM TOO AAAAAAAA <33 when ur silly posts break containment and the twt mutuals see your posts they absolutely LOVE IT. AND YOU ARENT EVEN ON TWT!!! LIKE!!!! THE IMPACT!!!! also are you comparing me to s**** t** cus thats a BIG compliment /lh /hj

I KNOW THE BIRDS ARE COMING. IM READY. I AM PREPARED. its good to know the higher ups are unprepared right now. unfortunate that you cant do anything about it 😈 i will use the four wisdoms, and ill use them well.

I FEEL SO LOVED AND APPRECIATED THIS IS AMAZING THANK YOU!!!! DKWJFJSJRJEOTJEBIDFJVYTOJRJ. happy easter, happy new year, Happy St. patcris day, and have a wonderful flag day! <3333 [you cannot escape these wishes. you must pass go and collect the wishes.]

[orchidyoonkook]

i'm doing pretty good! waiting for next week to pass so i can stop stressing myself with my mid terms 😭 rn i'm just laying around in bed, either playing games on my phone, watching youtube (i'm watching something about food production out of boredom and now i'm craving ice cream 😭) or working on a fic. i also ook a long ass nap earlier so i'm not sleepy 😭

-✨

Hearing you talk about school always makes me wonder how old you are 😂. I miss school so much sometimes. Assignments and stress sucked. But I got to see my friends everyday. Now I’m lucky if I see them once a year.

And those all sound like good past times to me!! I’m a chronic phone gamer in the sense that if I’m listening to an audiobook I need something to keep my hands busy and it’s usually Toonblast or MergeDragons! Or 1010! Cuz they’re mindless for me. And that helps me focus more.

I feel the nap thing. Half the time I get home from work and just. Crash. And then I’m up at 3:30AM when I have to get up for work at 8 and it sucks.

Fic working sounds good!! I need to do that so bad. But I will after I finish this new book cuz my curiosity must be satisfied!!

[suzybishops]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favourite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

omg…… i’m in the club…… lemme expose the illness happening within my on repeat playlist rn

fastlove pt. 1 - george michael; this is the one i’ve been playing the most over the past few months <3 i relate to him… he’s speaking for me…

give me novacaine / she’s a rebel - green day; i’ve been back on my green day beat HARD lately

smoke detector - the national; simply one of their best, i saw them live last year for the first time and it was the greatest night of my life and i won’t know peace until i see them again

RIIVERDANCE - beyoncé; if i’m honest i’ve mostly just been playing this nonstop since cowboy carter dropped

breath away from heaven - george harrison; all things must pass this all things must pass that when will society embrace middle-aged george on the cloud nine album cover

THANKS FOR SENDING THIS TO ME!!! 🫶💕

[darlingpwease]

As long as the Teacher's cute little children follow these rules the Teacher will be happy

The Teacher has to be happy and sure that their cute little puppy like children are ready for their role in the multiverse

So what if the Teacher has to kill and maul some characters?

Does anyone dare to raise a opinion against the Teacher?

The one who raised all the characters within every story

The one who knows every single little detail of their beloved children

Sometimes the outsiders say that the Teacher is a two faced Eldritch being older then time

But that's just ridiculous how could such a kind hearted Nurturer be anything but kind?

We often forget that a Teacher only teaches what they know

So the Teacher is anything but good,the Teacher must be ready to take on any role and has raised many many characters,like antagonist and beings worst then demons,so why would they be anything but good?

But don't let anyone hear you say that or the little children might find you a threat to their Teacher

The Teacher watches in amusement at the murderous glint in their children's eyes acting oblivious,It's fine they can play along as the innocent oblivious Teacher for as long as possible

I can't believe this fun little idea is being fleshed out rn,I might make a oc for this

-🍷

you've already suggested a topic with spiders, but, listen, spider!reader who has two forms in the form of a human and a hybrid,,,, the reason why you don't want the children to go out is because big spiders walk at night, because they are afraid of light during the day, but in fact they can't be found anywhere at home, because something much more dangerous lives where neither rats, spiders, nor scolopendras survive,,,,,,,

after all, not only people are under your supervision, but also monsters — in every sense, and only you can mold them as they should be.

not all stories have a good ending, not all stories consist of 'humans' — but in all of them there must be a villain, whom you must educate yourself by taking to the woods and to the waters, taking care that not only the body, but also their mind becomes what it should be. can anyone blame you when you take some of your precious ones to take them to the cemetery or ask them to bring things and packages when you go somewhere at night into the woods?

perhaps the returned pupils look more agitated while dark drops and traces of dirt remain on their clothes, but you only kindly ask them in a stern voice not to wake others and change before going to bed. 'this lesson is a little secret', 'after all, you will need different skills in the future'

'what will happen to what is left in the forest?'

'...'

'Teacher will find a use for♡'

they don't need to remember what happened — you don't need to stay in their memories — but they should absorb this experience and leave it there forever. you are sure that there are no hopeless children or unnecessary roles — and, well, who knows which of your solar and lunar children will create the most beautiful garden?

everyone knows that flowers and trees grow more readily when they have nutrients from the soil, and different things can be nutrients; you tell them this in the next lesson, showing them how best to create dense bushes, demonstrating soil features and teaching poisonous and dangerous plants.

so that they never touch them, of course.

and when you take a small flashlight and go out into the forest at night — for a regular walk under the moon — to find the dug-up earth with seeds planted in it, you, of course, immediately understand that little ones are fond of gardening.

... after all, what else could it be, right? they are so clever, your clever ones. apparently, they really will need more gardening classes.

don't their ancestors tell them a story that has been passed down from generation to generation, shivering and lying on the floor when night fell?

no, you don't know that someone is missing. is someone missing? perhaps people outside your Home should not come here, since they are cowardly afraid of everything that lives in the forest?

your precious one have never seen anyone or anything, this stupid profanity will not pass — they think they can come and harm you? wander around here and look for someone?

don't they remember that this territory was specially allocated to you to have a shelter here? children are afraid of other unfamiliar adults, they should not make them nervous!

... maybe they shouldn't be wandering around at night?

there are a lot of little wild animals here, after all.

[healingheartdogs]

CW for ideation, just ranting a bit about psych stuff

When you tell your psychiatrist that you've never been so depressed in your life and have never struggled with ideation and wanting to self harm so much and you don't know if it's just because of your current life situation (poverty and the looming threat of homelessness is so fun) or if it's because of the meds you're on now (which have a black box warning for increase in suicidal thoughts and suicide risk) and instead of addressing either of those two very realistic possibilities she just asks if I'm expecting my period soon and when my last one was instead. I have PMDD but it's never been suicidal PMDD, and I'm on BC to manage it rn that stops me from having periods so it's not relevant anyway.

When I told her my BC stops my period so I don't have them she asked me if I was still tracking them to make sure it wasn't possibly PMDD... There's nothing to track lady, I DON'T HAVE THEM. And then she moved on to asking me how else the meds were making me feel and told me I should keep trying them for longer to see if they actually work because it can take up to two months to see benefits without ever going back to address the extreme depression and ideation. Like... dude the strattera clearly does not like my brain since it is making me extremely depressed, COULD YOU LISTEN TO ME PLEASE??? It also is not actually helping with any of my ADHD symptoms besides making my head a little bit quieter instead of constant random ping-ponging thoughts.

I told the nurse before my first visit with this psych that I was worried about seeing a new psychiatrist because my last one didn't listen to me and focused on irrelevant things that I would mention in passing a lot instead of what was actually important to me to deal with, and she told me this new psych is SUCH a good listener that she even talks to her about her problems a lot so she hopes I felt the same while seeing her. I can only conclude that this nurse must be mentally healthy because this lady does not listen any better than the last one and does the exact same shit, acting like all my problems are just because I don't sleep "normally" and focusing more on managing my anxiety (which is a symptom not its own problem and is already being managed fairly well by my beta blockers) and low self worth rather than solving the issues causing my anxiety and low self worth like my extreme executive dysfunction that makes me feel like I'm trapped in my unresponsive body and a useless POS all the time.

I s2g I am so over getting lectures on sleep hygiene and needing to "fix" my sleep schedule from doctors when I am not complaining about sleep at all just because they personally don't like my sleep habits. Yes, I have a sleep disorder. Yes, my sleep schedule frequently shifts because I'm not on a 24 hour cycle. NO, I do NOT have a problem with that and I do NOT struggle with getting to sleep, staying asleep, or getting enough sleep!!! STOP FOCUSING ON MY SLEEP!!!! THE UNMANAGED ADHD IS MUCH MORE SERIOUS!!! But my sleep schedule isn't "correct" for capitalism and working normal jobs so they prioritize that "issue" instead, even though I wouldn't be able to work even if it was normal because of my EXTREME ADHD and physical disability.

I hate healthcare in this country.