#literally just trying to say the 'joke' can stop before you say some insanely cruel shit for no reason

[superdoggie5000]

whats with every other time a nonamerican wants to rib us for being dumb abt something, they gotta end off with like "anyway yall are too busy being shot in your schools to be smart but-" like ok man we could have been having good fun here but i hope you die now

[inktailsaystuff]

Ghost and Soap Relationship Headcanons

Tw: Mentions of Intimacy

Pre Relationship~

Kind of a slow burn

Ghost was scared of getting attached even more to Soap than he already was 

Ghost was also heavily in denial about crushing on Soap, like it took him ages to finally admit to himself that he liked Soap

Soap was quite the opposite, he had already flirted with Ghost whenever he got a wee bit too drunk and was in denial for a total of two minutes once he realized

Because Ghost is so closed off, Soap just assumed he didn't like him back

Didn’t stop him from flirting with him tho. (But Soap flirts with everyone ESPECIALLY WHEN DRUNK so no one really thought anything of it)

Price saw the vision before anyone else did

Ghost’s version of “flirting” is a bit more tame than actual straight up flirting. If you didn’t know him the way the 141 did you probably wouldn't even notice, 

Ghost’s flirting is more like subtle light touches, and lots and I mean LOTS of compliments and praise whenever Soap did something well. 

Gaz clocked in on it when Soap drunkenly confessed his feelings about Ghost to Gaz. (Gaz just assumed that Ghost was Soap’s new target for constant flirting) And while being best wing man he saw how touchy Ghost was with Soap

Gaz is best wing man (He will randomly leave the room to leave Soap and Ghost alone)

Ghost will never admit it nor show it, but Soap’s flirting had him feeling all tingly and happy. It made him feel like he had a chance with Soap. 

And let me tell you. This goes on for months of subtle flirting and romantic/sexual tension for agesssssss, it drives Gaz and Price insane. More so Price funnily enough. 

He just wants them to be happy. 

Like at this point even Laswell knows. Half of the base knows. Even Graves knows/j 

Price is just constantly trying to get Ghost or Soap to confess

Soap decides to confess first? Why? Because Gaz got sick of it and just straight up told Soap that if he’s waiting for Ghost to confess it won't happen and he needs to do it first.

Ghost literally malfunctioned when Soap said that. 

Ghost.exe has stopped working

He just stared at Soap and walked off (He was wondering if this was a cruel joke or not, and he was actually really scared of getting into a relationship)

Soap got sad because he thought that meant Ghost didnt like him back so he decided to do the normal thing. 

And drink his problems away while ranting to Gaz. 

It’s like 3:00 AM when Ghost confesses, he just walks up to Soap’s quarters, enters, wakes him up and tells him that he likes him too and then leaves

Soap is hangover and so confused

It's only in the morning did he realize and almost jumped Ghost while he was trying to eat breakfast

Cue like five months of: are we dating? 

Relationship headcanons~

When they FINALLY became official Gaz and Price almost cried of joy /j

But yeah everyone was like FINALLY they got together

Its slow to say the least 

Once they started dating Ghost became really closed off for a while as a defense mechanism

Soap didn't mind tho, he will happily wait for Ghost to get comfortable

But in the meantime he initiates touches and constantly showers Ghost with affection even if it's sometimes unrequited

Once Ghost has gotten comfortable with this new situation he will open up more

He does cook for Soap and he cooks very well. (Soap can and will burn the kitchen down)

Black cat x golden retriever is real

Separately are the some of the smartest people ever, together they are idiots

I'm not kidding, Soap is the youngest to pass SAS selection and everything… Ghost is really well versed in combat and highly skilled…

But you put them together and Soap can’t tell you what 2+2 is and Ghost doesn’t know how to speak English anymore. 

Ghost is slowly learning Scottish from Soap (He denies the claims)

Despite how he scary he looks Ghost is a sucker for cuddles, he loves just picking Soap up and holding him 

Ghost does tend to wear a mask in their room (like the fabric covid masks) because it gives him a sense of familiarity

Soap embroiders things on Ghost’s home masks like cats and stuff like that

Gaz absolutely teases Ghost whenever he walks out with one of his embroidered masks

NO GHOST DOES NOT ABUSE SOAP HE GREW UP IN AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD HE WOULD NEVER HE'S LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED

Intimacy is a big deal since Ghost got SA’d so they take it very slow 

Soap constantly checks if Ghost is okay even if it’s Ghost that’s leading

They don’t tend to get kinky much since it’s about mutual affection and passion to them because of that they also don't get intimate that often other than like making out and stuff like that

Aftercare is also great, Ghost is a wholesome man and I die on this hill he will happily give Soap anything he wants

Soap’s aftercare is also great since he fusses over Ghost afterwards even if Ghost says he's fine he will be cared for.

Anyway it’s a very wholesome relationship with minimal arguments

When arguing Soap will start screaming in scottish and Ghost justs stands there like “Huh-”

But they don’t argue that much and when they do it doesnt last long… perhaps its the constant nagging fear that they will die in battle and if one dies before an argument is resolved their last memory will be of angry words

Ghost is 10000% protective, he gets so scared when Soap gets injured, like once Soap cut his finger while cutting tomatoes and Ghost literally wouldn't let him into the kitchen for a month

He is possessive in a sense he gets all grumpy when someone else flirts with Soap but unless he thinks Soap is uncomfortable or in danger he won't step in because he knows Soap can handle himself. 

Once they retire from the military they do want to just live in the scottish countryside and own a farm :>

[blu-joons]

When You’re A Cat Person ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

A sigh escaped Jin as he felt your hand slip out of his, looking across to see you kneeling down in an attempt to beckon over the cat you found.

“Y/N, we’re going to be late,” Jin reminded you, watching as the cat tentatively walked across to you, purring away.

“I’ll only be a couple of minutes,” you promised Jin, looking back to him with a wide smile, “I can’t ignore this little guy.”

Jin’s arms folded across his chest, “he didn’t come over to you, you encouraged him over to us.”

Your shoulders shrugged, tickling your hand underneath the stray cat’s chin. “Stop being so grumpy, a couple of minutes won’t make much difference. This little guy deserves a little bit of attention, he’s a sweetie.”

“I’m a sweetie but I don’t get your attention like this,” Jin pouted, slowly beginning to start walking along the street again.

“You’re not a cat,” you teased back to Jin, “you can start walking but I’m not leaving, I’ll catch you up if that’s how you want to be.”

“Alright, I guess that I can wait for you.”

Yoongi:

Your eyes widened back at Yoongi, shaking your head in disbelief as he spoke, finding yourself unable to say anything in reply.

“There, I said it, dogs are better than cats,” Yoongi shrugged, holding his hands up in the air to protest his innocence.

“Are you insane?” You quizzed in reply to him, “cats are literally a thousand times better than dogs, they’re so much cuter.”

Yoongi’s head carried on shaking, “would you say that to Holly’s face that cats are cuter?”

Your head nodded straight away in response, “I’d say it to Holly because it’s true. Cats are just the sweetest things in the world, don’t get me wrong, dogs are alright, but you can’t even compare them, Yoongi.”

“You’re so wrong,” he groaned, throwing his head back, “you can’t even take a cat for a walk like you can a dog.”

“You can if that’s what you really want to do,” you joked, “I’ve seen people walking their cats with leads before.”

“They’re still not as good as dogs.”

Hoseok:

A sigh came from Hobi as you grabbed his hand and pulled him down the aisle of the market, knowing that it was only a matter of time.

“Let’s try and not spend all day here,” Hobi pleaded with you, almost completely ignored by you as you looked at the aisle.

“I just want to look at getting Y/C/N a new toy, or two,” you told him, assuring Hobi that you wouldn’t take too long.

He hummed behind you, “you’ve said that before and we’ve ended up being here hours.”

Your eyes rolled as he took a step back to be able to watch you browse. “You’re so dramatic, we’ve never spent more than an hour down the cat aisle. It’s just hard to choose sometimes when they’re so many nice things.”

“Why don’t you just buy all of them in one go to save having to keep coming back?” Hobi suggested, but your head shook.

“It’s one of my favourite parts of shopping,” you reminded him, “every time I come shopping, I take something back for Y/C/N.”

“I don’t even get anything brought for me.”

Namjoon:

Your eyes snapped around to look at Namjoon in surprise as he spoke, placing your hand on his chest to be able to look at him properly.

“What do you reckon?” He laughed, getting an even better reaction from you than he thought that he would.

“You really want to look into adopting a cat?” You grinned, nudging his side, “this isn’t going to be some cruel joke is it Joon?”

His head shook in reply, “I’m being serious, we’re at the perfect time to look at adopting.”

Your head nodded to give him a response to his question, unable to hide your smile. “I’d love to adopt a cat, there’s so many cute ones that I constantly see at the shelter, their little faces are the cutest.”

“We’d have to look at how well they get on with Moni, but I think we can make it work,” Namjoon noted back to you.

“You see dogs and cats getting on all the time,” you smiled, “we’ll be like those cute pet families that you see online sharing photos.”

“One step at a time maybe Y/N.”

Jimin:

A hum of confusion came from Jimin as he walked into your bedroom, taken aback by the number of cat items that he found scattered around.

“It’s fair to say that you’re a big fan of cats then,” Jimin laughed, taking a good look around at all the things he found.

“I meant to change my bedding before you got here,” you confessed, looking at the cat print on it, “at least to something more romantic.”

Jimin’s head shook back across at you, “it’s what you like, you shouldn’t change it for me.”

You smiled appreciatively back across at him as Jimin began to look through some of the cat ornaments that you had up too. “How long has it taken you to get all of these and put them up around your room?”

“A long time,” you laughed, “if there’s one bonus, I’m very easy to buy for when it comes to birthdays, just so you know.”

“I’ll bare that in mind,” Jimin grinned, placing what he had in his hands back down, “I definitely wasn’t expecting to see all of this.”

“It’s fair to say I like my cats.”

Taehyung:

His brows knitted together as you brought Taehyung across to where your cat was eating, watching as he tentatively walked towards him.

“I’m not sure about this Y/N, he’ll probably be able to smell Yeontan on me,” Taehyung admitted, kneeling down.

“He won’t be able to tell it’s Yeontan,” you encouraged, kneeling down too. “All you have to do is just reach out and stroke the top of his head.”

Taehyung slowly began to reach out, “I can’t remember the last time I stroked a cat.”

You struggled to hold back your laughter as Taehyung nervously began to brush in between your cats ears. “In no time at all I’ll convert you into more of a cat person, Y/C/N is the perfect cat for you to fall in love with.”

“You’ll never be able to make me more of a cat person than a dog person,” he assured you, “I’m just being friendly to him.”

“Cats aren’t that bad,” you laughed, “do you remember telling me that when I was scared to meet Yeontan for the first time?”

“Dogs are still better anyway.”

Jungkook:

His eyes watched in awe as your cat nuzzled into the palm of your hand, beginning to settle down in your lap almost as soon as they arrived.

“That’s so not fair,” Jungkook huffed as he watched, “I try all the time to get her to sleep on me, but she’s never interested.”

“You just don’t have the touch yet,” you teased, watching your cat lay her head down, “it just takes a little bit of practice, that’s all.”

Jungkook’s head shook back at you, “you’re just too good with cats, I’m rubbish with them.”

Your head began to shake too as Jungkook berated himself, “Y/C/N is still getting used to you, it just takes a little bit of adjustment. I’ve had years of being around cats, I know exactly what they like and dislike.”

“I know that Y/C/N doesn’t like me,” he mumbled under his breath, “she couldn’t sit any further away from me if she tried.”

“Stop being dramatic,” you laughed back across at him. “Maybe I could try and get her to sit with you more, show you some of my tricks.”

“It’s got to be worth a try.”

---

Masterlist

[shinsouskitten]

Shinsou Hitoshi nsfw alphabet

damn kat back at it again with the thirst i hate myself 

Idk how I haven’t done a nsfw alphabet for my KING yet but I’m disappointed in myself for it

this post was mostly finished before the whole ‘this cold makes me feel like im dying’ thing so i just had to add a few and it was ready for publishing (bonus points if you can tell which ones were added in my cold-induced craziness)

Warnings: you know it, you love it, the thirsting of a lonely writer

---

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Shinsou is a king when it comes to aftercare. Hot baths, massages, cuddles, you name it. You mean the absolute world to him, and he’ll go out of his way to show that, both in and out of the bedroom

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Shinsou can be pretty self critical, but if you pushed for an answer he’d probably say his hair, cause he knows how much you like it. For his partner, horny Shinsou would immediately go for your neck (literally too). He loves how a single kiss can turn you into putty in his hands, and he’ll leave marks in places he knows you can’t hide just to prove to the world that you’re his

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you, on you, he doesn’t really mind. Whatever you prefer, he’s happy with. If you want to get messy, he’s more than happy to help, but if not he’ll keep you clean (ish). Although he’s unlikely to admit it, seeing you swallow his cum ignites a fire in Shinsou, and sets up quite a few more rounds so he can give you a reward for being so good

D = Dirty secret (pretty clear, a dirty secret of theirs)

Shinsou’s pretty open with what he wants, but when you first start getting intimate there’ll be a few things he doesn’t really want to say in case he scares you away (he could never, but he still worries). He wants to experiment, but he makes sure he knows your boundaries before he suggests anything too out there. The thing he keeps secret for the longest is the desire to wrap your neck in a beautiful collar emblazoned with his name, simply cause he doesn’t want you to think it’s weird

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He does his research, but hands on experience is pretty limited before you. It’s a learning curve, both of you learning what makes the other tick, what causes you the highest amount of pleasure, and what to steer clear of

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Loves to see you ride him. It gives you the power to control the tempo, but also gives him a beautiful view to tip him over the edge of ecstasy. More needy Shinsou (aka when he’s in hornball mode) likes doggy style, cause it means he can pull your hair or hold you up against him and kiss your neck

G = Goofy (how serious are they in the moment?)

He’s not going to whip out a joke book in the middle of sex, but he’s also not going to act like an uptight secretary who’s only able to follow the rules (well, not unless you ask 👀) 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Keeps himself trimmed, possibly even shaved. It’s no nonsense and means it’s also more enjoyable for you if you’re giving him head

I = Intimacy (how romantic are they in the moment?)

He’s an intimate guy, but he’s also not above teasing (though there’s another letter for that so I’ll keep on intimate for now). Like I mentioned in B, Shinsou can be pretty self critical, and sometimes he can get scared that you’ll leave him if he doesn’t prove how much he loves you, which to him means intimate sex and reassurance (aka, saying ‘I love you’ every two seconds)

J = Jack off (what are their views on masturbation?)

He does it when needed. He’s not insanely horny, so chances are if he is you’re there to deal with him. But if you’re not, and he’s especially needy, he’ll most likely call you up for a little phone session. The thought of you is incredible, but being able to see and hear you is even better

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

I think we all know the phrase kitty, right? Well inference leads me to believe that Shinsou would be down for trying out pet play. And yes, as I mentioned before, he would 100% have a collar for you with his name on it. I don’t take criticism for that one

L = Location (favorite places to do the dance with no pants)

More traditional. Sex between the two of you means intimacy, so he’d prefer privacy. You have yet to find a surface in your house he hasn’t tried to fuck you on. That being said, your comfort is of the utmost importance to Shinsou, so if he’s going to fuck you over the kitchen counter, he’s going to make sure you feel comfortable while he does it. So yes, that means he’ll take pillows off the sofa’s just to make you comfy

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going, etc)

You. Simple as. There are certain things that especially turn him on, such as you biting your lip or being extra attentive to him in what would seem like a normal scene to anyone else watching. Put your hand on his thigh when out at dinner and pay the price when you get home. Or maybe that was your plan all along

N = No (turn offs, something they wouldn’t do)

Shinsou never wants you to be in pain (well not unless you want to be in pain). He’ll leave hickies all over you, but that’s about as far as he’ll go with marking you. Maybe a spank here and there, but he won’t scar you or leave any marks that won’t be gone in a few days

O = Oral (do they prefer giving or receiving? how skilled are they?)

Shinsou prefers giving, but he’ll never say no to receiving either. He wants you to feel good, but if you decide to turn the tables he’s not going to deny you. Once you’re finished though, he’s repaying the favor tenfold. And just as a note, pull his hair when he goes down on you. He adores it

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Yes and yes. It all depends on the situation, his mood, the usual things. He’ll do whatever provides you with the most pleasure (while also allowing him to tease you)

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies)

He doesn’t love them, but if they’re the only way to get some gratification then he’s willing (only if you are though). He’s careful about location, he doesn’t want someone walking in and ruining the whole thing, even if the risk of being caught makes everything a little more exciting. Chances are he won’t engage in quickies unless he’s been to the place at least once before (he wants to know which wall you’d look best pinned to). He has to feel slightly comfortable in the environment

R = Risk (how risky are they willing to be?)

He’s down for a little risk, but nothing that would be too mortifying for you. If he’s going to screw you somewhere other than your home, he’s going to vet the place over a lot, and find the best place where you have the comfort of being private but the thrill of being caught if someone were to venture too close to your hideout

S = Stamina (how long do they last? how many rounds?)

Freaking hell where does he get it from? Like, he just doesn’t stop. Not that that’s a bad thing, mind you. Most of the rounds consist of him pleasing you, and he’ll only give in and finally fuck you when your throat is hoarse from begging, or when he feels the smallest amount of pity at the tears rolling down your face (did someone say crying kink)

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them on a partner or themselves?)

Vibrating panties. I said he doesn't physically act on desires when in public, but touching a remote isn’t the same thing as touching you, so he makes an exception. He’s not insanely cruel. For him it’s more about teasing that mortification, so if someone senses something’s wrong, he turns off the remote until they give up. But the moment they’re gone, it’s back stronger than ever

U = Unfair (how much do they tease?)

*roblox oof sound effect*

Once Shinsou gains his confidence with you, he’s not going back. His teasing is often coupled with praise, telling you how good you’re being for him while he denies you pure bliss again and again. He’ll edge you to hell and back if you give him the chance, but don’t worry, it’s worth it in the end

V = Volume (how they sound, how loud they are, etc)

Small moans and louder grunts are the main sounds coming from Shinsou when he’s enjoying himself. He swears a lot, and it’s always easy to tell how close he is to the edge by how creative his swears become. As for his partner, he wants to know how well he’s doing. He wants to hear you whine and beg while he edges you, and the pornstar-like moans that fill the air when he finally gives in and gives you what you really want

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

You think I forgot about his quirk. Ha, I could never. I said in my hcs that it takes a while for Shinsou to integrate quirk use into sex. As much as you assure him you’re in full trust, he’s anxious about the inability to say no when he has you under his control. The longer you’re together the more willing he is, but even when he does use it it’s usually a way to make edging even more dangerous, with you unable to resist his words when he tells you you’re not allowed to cum just yet

Okay maybe we have 2 wild cards this time cause I also wanna mention his capture weapon. Again, it’ll take a while for it to be available in a less-than-pg manner, but he’s more willing to use his capture weapon than his quirk. Main reason being, you can still use a safeword when tied up. But tying up goes both ways, so even if he prefers to be the one giving the pleasure, he’d never deny your wishes

X = X-ray (let’s have a looksee in those pants)

I’m trying not to be biased cause I love him so much but I feel like Shinsou’s kinda packing. A good 8.5-9 inches (no, I won’t take criticism) and on the skinnier side. But the amount of attention he gives you before his pants are even off means taking him is never difficult

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not the highest, but when you’re around it increases significantly. He’s not going to fuck you every time he sees you (I mean, he thinks about it) but he also isn’t a nun. It’s a good level, cause most days you can walk, and then on the weekends you’re a little bedridden

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He’s a bit of an insomniac, so screwing the energy out of him is one of the best ways to get Shinsou tired enough to sleep. He likes to hold you, so once he’s satisfied with the aftercare, he’ll crawl in bed for cuddles until the both of you pass out

[trsilvers]

What is your favourite quote for each Team Rocket character?

Good question. This took me a hot minute but was really fun to think about.

Jessie - “Thank badness we’re alive!!!” I actually don’t remember which episode this is from, I tried to google it, but I specifically remember it because I used to quote it all the time. I just thought the idea that villains would actually say “thank badness” was hilarious.

James - Zero is a gross exaggeration, we are at least two to three percent worthwhile! (Talkin’ Bout an Evolution) James has like a million great quotes but I always loved this one. You have to appreciate his candid self-awareness 😂 A lot of my favorite Jessie and James moments are where they happily admit they are failures but remain totally undeterred. Also - literally ANYTHING he says in the Flaming Moltres episode 😂

Meowth - “Maybe if we started lookin at what’s the same instead of what’s different…well, who knows?” This is part of his little monologue in the first movie when he’s talking to the clone Meowth, I always loved this quote. I mean, what a great sentiment, delivered in a touching way that only Meowth could do.

Cassidy - “Oh I’m still shaking like a leaf officer thank goodness you were here to stop them before they hurt the Pokémon ~ oh!” (The Breeding Center Secret) Butch and Cassidy have a lot of great quotes, especially from chronicles where they started getting played for laughs, but I really love this one because it highlights Cassidy’s ability to turn on and off this fake persona she’s created totally effortlessly. The delivery of this line is just 10/10. No other episode has really showcased her ability to do that as well as their first appearance, but I always loved that about her. She deserves an award for that performance lmao 😂😂

Butch - “I am, but I like dry socks.” (Showdown at the Oak Corral) I’m sorry, there are also a lot of better Butch quotes than this but I have to pick this one because it made me laugh like no other. The man likes dry socks, ok? 😂 Also I think I just like it because it’s a little glimpse into Butch as a person, he seems like he can be a little particular about stuff.

Domino - “I’m like a totally off the hook fan of yours! I wanna be just like you when I get old!” (Mewtwo Returns) Domino, like Cassidy, has the ability to adopt a fake persona and do a REALLY good job at pretending she’s somebody she’s not. I love her ditzy voice she uses when she’s undercover, but this quote in particular because even when she’s trying to be cute and sweet, this was a pretty backhanded compliment to throw at that doctor. (I forget her name, but she wasn’t even old 😂) It was pretty funny.

Wendy - “Revenge is sweet, my dear Jessie.” (Dues and Don’ts) I mean, you have to love a good long grudge. The fact that Team Rocket even has an HR department is hilarious on its own, but the fact that it seems to be led by a woman who held onto a personal vendetta against a fellow employee for YEARS, all because of a fruit smoothie, is even better.

Attila - “I used to collect them, they’re very sweet creatures.” (Legend of Thunder) I’m pretty sure this is a dub only fact about Attila, but I absolutely love the way they dubbed Attila and the idea of someone like him with a soft spot for Caterpie is just…I love it 😂 Seriously though Attila has a whole score of cheesy dialogue, and I love almost every single thing he says. Yippie Yi Yay 😂

Hun- “You don’t get to run the world by being fair; you get to run the world by being nasty!” (Legend of Thunder) Hun…who hurt you? 😂😂😂 Do you need a hug? This was tough because there are multiple times in LoT that Hun has to try and keep Attila on task, which I love, but I picked this quote as my fav because I like that little glimpse into Hun’s sinister personal ideals.

Tyson - “You look a little…tied up! BAHAHAHAHAJSJFGSHKJAFLSNWSA” (Talkin Bout an Evolution) I’m sorry, I love bad puns, and that exaggerated laugh he does at the end, I love it so much 😂😂😂 There are lots of bad puns in the Pokémon anime, but this one…it’s the laughing at his own joke for me 🤣 And the fact that none of the grunts with him are laughing at all, dub or original. You can tell this is a frequent occurrence and they’re just over it. 😂😂😂

Pierce - “Then we’ll just have to see how good you are. *laugh*” - this might seem like a weird quote, but I picked it solely because of that little laugh he does at the end. Pierce unfortunately didn’t get that much screen time, so he’s not super quotable :( Which is a shame because he really, REALLY has a nice voice. It might actually be my second or third favorite, behind Sebastian and *maybe* Attila (only because I think it suits him so well)

Professor Namba - (singing) “Rage, rage, bring out your raaaaage!” (One of the Lugia episodes, I forget which one) 11/10 beautiful vocals, clearly should have been a singer and not a scientist. Seriously though the fact that Namba can be in the midst of such a cruel experiment and stand there and sing a song about it really highlights his insanity and I love it.

Dr Zager - “CURSES!!” (I forget the episode title, I’m so sorry) Again, someone who sadly didn’t get that much screen time, BUT we do at least have this quote. He’s overall a pretty serious character and doesn’t have any especially memorable lines…except this one. 😂 I love it. Very old-fashioned villain, Old Man Yells At Cloud energy here 😂😂😂

Professor Sebastian - “If you’ll kindly follow me, I believe you’ll find this…electrifying.” (Legend of Thunder) this is REALLY hard because I love everything he says, but once again my appreciation for bad puns wins out in the end. Also the confirmation that Sebastian does have a sense of humor, however bad, makes me very happy. 😂 Would watch an entire episode of Sebastian and Tyson making terrible puns. No, actually, an entire feature length film.

Giovanni - “I haven’t had any repairs done to those old blimps for decades. They’re completely unfit to fly. About the only thing I have maintained on those blimps are their insurance policies.” (A Scare in the Air) this is not only my favorite Gio quote but one of my favorite moments in the entire anime because it’s so dark. I even posted about it recently. Giovanni actually tries to have three of his employees killed and profit off of their deaths via insurance fraud. AND HE DOES IT IN SUCH A CAVALIER WAY YOU KNOW IT’S NOT HIS FIRST TIME DOING IT. Also you really have to just appreciate the confirmation that insurance - an evil greater than Team Rocket- exists in the Pokémon world.

(I’m sorry if some of these quotes are not exact word for word, I tried to google to confirm I’m remembering it correctly, but it’s not as easy to find some of these as you might think 😂)

[antiloreolympus]

8 Anti LO Asks

1. as a mythology buff, i honestly think it was really weird of rachel smythe to take Hecate, a goddess who helped Demeter search for Persephone after she vanished and heard her screams and shared in Persephone and Demeter's joy after reuniting... and then just make her into Hades's like... total bro who plays aggressive matchmaker to h/p to the point of trying to break up Hades's current relationship. but honsestly i refuse to believe rachel smythe did literally any research before making this comic judging by how she depicts the mythology she's taking inspiration from so honestly im not suprised

2. I don’t know if anyone on here has discussed this, but LO very much plays into the idea of “good victim vs bad victim”.

A “good victim” has suffered many things, but despite it they still remain cheerful and happy and pleasant, they do not put others out or lash out at them even if they are triggered, they do not become petty or angry or hold onto negative emotions. They, in essence, “get over it”. Thus, the narrative rewards them: they get many friends, a love internet they’re happy with, and a happy ending. This is what Persephone is. She’s the “good victim”. Despite her many hardships, we know she will not suffer in the end. She will get everything she wants and more. 

Then there is Minthe, the “bad victim”. They too have gone through many hardships, but they’ve become cold, angry at the world, they lash out and have trouble opening up and connecting to others, they even hurt others, themselves victims to the toxic pain they can’t get rid it. They do not and have not “gotten over it”.  Thus, the narrative punishes them, even when they try to better themselves. It’s never good enough. These characters often are lonely, the cast are large do not like them if not outright hate them, and they more often than not end up dead. This is what Minthe is. She is not a pleasant person, she’s a victim of a manipulative older man and a cruel, unjust society and system, and we know how her story ends. It’s in pain, her maiming/possible death framed as a joke and not even a genuine hint of sympathy towards her fate. She was a “bad victim”, she “deserved” what she got.

Now, you only often see this in fandom, since the actual works that deal with victims of trauma and how they react will often try to give more nuance to every shade of victim they may have on cast, but it’s very disturbing to me that Rachel seems to eagerly play into this idea, like she gets joy out of punishing a victim she created and watching them suffer even more at her hands. It’d be one thing if she kept Minthe a shallow, one dimensional character who was just evil for the sake of it, fine, but her showing us her actual complex nature and the very real struggles, trauma, and manipulation she went through, especially at the hands of our supposed “heroes” of the story, just to have her demise framed as a win for Persephone and a joke for the audience to laugh at? That’s highly disturbing to me. It’s one thing for fans to act that way, but the writer themselves? It’s very dark, to say the least. 

3. "I'm invested in working with fairy tales and folklore for my next project" oh no no no oh god please no. Fairy tales have been through enough hot takes and modern "betterments", they really don't need Rachel "Apollo is bad, actually" Smythe to add to it

4. Quick question

Greek Mythology is mostly incest.

So what if someone who is actually good at writing and storytelling and consistent artwork

Kept it in

For example Zeus and  Hera arguing like the married couple they are

And Hera uses older sibling card

With Zeus dumbfounded face

I don't know why but I want it but would it be weird since it's incest

Most fanfics always keep it out. Just keep it in if you want it to be closer than the actual methods you know

Hera is youngest daughter of Cronus and Rhea and older than her brother Zeus, who was also her husband.

I want to do it but like I have no clue how to start a webtoon so you know💀

5. Oh god, Hades not needing therapy because Persephone's "love" is enough? To quote my lord and savior Kennie JD: "not the p*$$¥ being therapy!"

6. uuuuuh sexual trauma warning.?

So I was writing a comment on the "Re: bpd" ask and i had a realization about persephone

She reminds me of how I was about the idea of sex

I'm demisexual and have sexual trauma and the idea of sex excited me but I wasn't able to like, do it. Me and my partner would mess around but because Mctrauma i couldn't do it cuz I hadn't exactly worked through my trauma and i wanted to get through that because i was finally experiencing sexual attraction.

Kinda reminds me of Persephone. The problem is at that point it had been 6-7 years since my trauma occurred and persephone's happened like last month.

Considering how everyone talks about persephone being a self insert i think Rachel has some things to work through

Also made the realization literally as im typing that Rachel's attitude towards asexuality could be because she's demi and doesn't fully understand what that is or means

becuase if you're ignorant enough you can 100% end up describing demisexuality as "being asexual and then like, slowly turning gay."

this ask weirdly personal so fuck it this is gonna be anonymous feel free to delete if it makes u uncomfy 

7. That’s also a part about Hubris Rachel clearly doesn’t get: it was always committed by rich, often people in high authority, NEVER lowly farmers or the poorest of ancient society. They always knew better. Niobe was a queen! Minos was a king! Arachne was the rich, spoiled daughter of a really successful merchant. Sisyphus was a cunning king. The trojan war was kicked off by royal drama. The list goes on and on. You have to notice these things and genuinely study the myths or you become like Rachel, who seems convinced the poorest people would be stupid enough to not only defy their bosses, but the gods themselves? They would be the last people to do such a thing! They don’t have the ingrained sense of entitlement and arrogance like the rich and powerful to even dare act like that towards the gods, as is the case with hubris. Because of this, Rachel ends up creating a narrative that the rich and powerful (literal GODS) are the real victims to those cruel, uppity poor people, going as far as to say in comic they deserve to be slaves for hades’ benefit and they’re wrong for ever hating Persephone for, you know, murdering them because she had a bad day! They should know their place! It’s absolutely insane that she doesn’t actually seem to realize what she’s writing. Unless she does, which is an even bigger issue, and shows a really dark look into how she views the world and society and how it should be run. It’s all a bad look. 

8. Have you seen the "The demon, is here in the room right now?" meme

Welp, that's literally Persephone and her "feeling"

I legit saw that video about a dude faking a mental illnes (and seeing a demon that made him do bad things) after he commited a crime and that was so cringy and I can't stop thinking about Persephone confessing her AOW like that

[nct-lian]

nct 127’s relation to lian

TAEIL + LIAN: IL-LI

taeil used to wake her up for school when she was still a teenager :((

such a soft but overlooked duo

will appreciate each other forever and ever

lian teaches him roasts in english that he can say to johnny

remain each other’s hype man and woman

taeil was the first to suggest he and the other nct members react to the trailers of her dramas on video so they can boost them in popularity

promotes the HELL out of lian’s solo career over twitter

lian loves coming up behind him and just giving him hugs because he’s soft (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

they watch movies together a lot! but taeil has to come down to the fifth floor because lian hates it up on the tenth one

he was once able to grab her hand in an airport and they held hands the entire time :(( a few pictures went a little viral

they share hoodies NSHDHSHCJA

lian keeps bugging him to get an instagram

taeil will ALWAYS take her side in silly arguments she and the other members have sometimes

he makes fun of her height because she’s shorter than him-

he also used to help her with her homework :(

cried when lian went on her first date

“my child is growing up (´∩｀。)”

had to do a background check on the guy before he even allowed him to come in contact with her again, though

JOHNNY + LIAN: JOANN

johnny is her dad, period

no questions asked he is her father

will give her piggyback rides all the time

he was once woken up by her jumping on his bed and asking if they could go shopping

at 6:00 am

he actually got up, got ready and took her shopping but since it was so early, the stores were all closed

he took her out for japanese fluffy pancakes, though!

whenever lian is sick, johnny makes her his mom’s homemade chicken noodle soup recipe :((

speaking of johnny’s mom, she loves lian to death and always asks johnny if he’s taking good care of her

if they’re not being asked any questions or having to translate anything during interviews, they always whisper jokes in each other’s ears to try and make the other one laugh

because of how lian dies during the trailer of her new drama, johnny cried in front of twenty-two other men while they reacted to it

he was NOT embarrassed

“how are you guys not crying? this is so sad. what a cruel world we live in ໒( ˵ •̀ □ •́ ˵ )७”

kept screaming at lian’s “dream of you” performance video

“WHY ARE YOU ON THE GROUND DANCING LIKE THAT?!” “JISUNG COVER YOUR EYES-“

he once effortlessly picked up lian and moved her somewhere else because she wasn’t standing where she was supposed to be

everyone says that their ship name is something a white, suburban mom would be named. now nctzens pronounce joann like “joanne” ･x･

it was said on the zach sang show that johnny used to measure her height every month to see if she grows or not, and that’s the only reason why he has her height memorized

TAEYONG + LIAN: LIYONG

has lost lian in so many airports it’s not even funny

“hyung, what happened to lian?” “oh, you have GOT to be kidding me-“

whenever he doesn’t see her he goes into panic mode and starts asking if anyone has seen his little sister

“about this tall with really shiny hair? her cheekbones are insane, i swear. OH OH OH SHE WAS WEARING JOHNNY’S HOODIE- you don’t know what johnny’s hoodie looks like.. okay, well thank you for your help.”

one of the first members that she was comfortable with

lian said that he was her role model :’(

as the leader, he’s always taking care of her and will not sleep until he knows for sure she’s eaten

because of how lian never participated in any of nct’s first bit of promotions due to being too uncomfortable around them, she was allowed to skip out on the viewings of their relay video letters

but she was still required to make one for somebody and that somebody was taeyong ˵ ຈ ︿ ຈ ˵

she said that she was glad he was her leader and that she hoped to become closer one day

he cried

declares that he will take care of lian till the day he dies

taeyong had yelled at lian’s former manager until he voluntarily quit working for her- he had found out that lian was being overworked to the point where she collapsed during their dance practice and he wasn’t okay with it

always cheering her on backstage when she performs solo

he always tries to include her in guiding the members for their dances because he knows how happy it makes her

instead of having her carry her glasses around with her, he does it instead :D

“nana, do you have to wear your glasses now?”

taeyong tucks her into bed every night he can ᕕ( ཀ ʖ̯ ཀ)ᕗ

YUTA + LIAN: YUN

totally doesn’t have feeling for her, yeah

yuta is obsessed and when i tell you he’s obsessed, he’s obsessed

did i mention obsessed?

he’s jealous of everyone :(

yun stans insist that the only reason yuta is so touchy with winwin and mark is because he’s trying to cover up his feelings for lian

bye if that’s true-

hyuck wanted to give her a hug (a rare occurrence) and yuta straight up just said,

“mine. go away”

i have proof guys :// johnny recorded it and literally posted it on instagram

lian died internally when yuta cut his long hair because she couldn’t put it into ponytails anymore :((

but his hair is growing back now so she’s able to do it again :)

yuta teaches her japanese every tuesday and thursday!

we don’t bring this up because it’s pretty embarrassing but,, when nct 127 were backstage before performing kick it, yuta asked doyoung (who was in a direction where he could get a clear view of lian’s face) if lian was staring at him

how do we know this, you may ask?

it was caught on camera and everyone made fun of him for a solid week straight

he’s caught staring at her from afar way too often for comfort

lian says that he’s very pretty

much like the other memebers that have instagram, he makes story countdowns that he posts about a week before lian plans to release her solo music

DOYOUNG + LIAN: LIDO

another member of the lian protection squad

doyoung was the first to start calling her cupcake

it all started when doyoung was sick and lian made him cupcakes to make him feel better

will slap anyone who makes a flirty remark towards lian

was embarrassed for yuta when he asked if she was staring at him

said “no” and walked away

lian is the only one who ever shows him any mercy :’)

they have very similar taste in decor so they often go shopping together for things to put around the dorm

doyoung said that he spends the most time in lian’s room because it smells like vanilla all the time

he spoils her SO MUCH

like so much

half the plushies she owns at the moment were gifts from doyoung

has a tendency to watch over her and make sure she’s content at all times

“cupcake, are you hungry? i can make you some food if you’d like” “oppa, it’s 3:00am-“ “and?”

they take such pretty instagram pictures :((

at one point in time, doyoung was jealous of his older brother because lian used to crush on him a tiny bit :0

not because doyoung likes her or anything, she just couldn’t stop talking about how nice he looked in revolutionary love

disapproves of the staff giving lian such short clothing sometimes

“um, excuse me, she can’t wear that. are you crazy? go get her a new outfit, please”

JAEHYUN + LIAN: JAELI

not many people bring this up because we know it’s honestly a sensitive topic :|

but he lowkey has deep feelings for her (he makes it so obvious sometimes it’s kinda disappointing to see how oblivious lian really is to it)

jaeli + yun love triangle anyways

jokes aside, though, jaehyun loves lian so so much

once cried to johnny about how he doesn’t know what to do and that he didn’t want to make anything awkward by confessing to her

makes sure to be near her as often as possible

once scared away a whole kim taehyung from talking to her during isac ╰[ ⁰﹏⁰ ]╯ (let’s pretend bts were there for 2019 pls)

“jungkook, keep your friend away, please :D”

didn’t work, though, because they ended up having a conversation later in the day either way

*in the 97’ liner groupchat* “HYUNG IM SORRY HE RAN AWAY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO DOl

it was uncalled for but what can you do amirite ┐(´～｀)┌

lian pokes his dimples a lot and squishes his cheeks

just randomly hugs him but he’s not complaining

johnny isn’t picking sides but he became team jaeli after jaehyun broke into tears in front of him for the first time since they were trainees about how much he loves lian

sad,, i know

lian judges jaehyun for not sleeping with sheets

continues to believe he is not a human being, but a robot created in a lab

jaehyun smiles at her for no reason

JUNGWOO + LIAN: LIWOO

an instant bond formed between them when they first met!

jungwoo learned a lot about her and has developed so many ways to deal with her anxiety :(

gave the staff a guide on how to keep her calm when he went on hiatus because he couldn’t be there with her

buys her colouring books because he knows that they calm her down well!

liwoo went viral and become a popular ship when lian accidentally changed the nct 127 instagram profile picture to a jungwoo icon

she got scolded but it was iconic orange haired jungwoo with a chain-

an untouchable duo when they do double aegyo

nctzens think jungwoo is her favourite member

maybe because lian said he was

“ “who’s your favourite member?” hmm i’ll have to say woo-oppa!”

*cue jungwoo laughing at yuta’s face because he was that shocked*

they share secrets with each other so now they probably know the other like the palm of their hand

even though he’s off his hiatus, he still has to guide the staff members through lian’s little moments because sm staff suck at their job sometimes

they’re the two members who go grocery shopping together

more like jungwoo dragging lian to the grocery store with him but okay

jungwoo loves kissing her cheeks (〃▽〃)

their vocals mixed together are confirmed to be noises from heaven

lian misses his blonde bowl cut :/

MARK + LIAN: LIMARK

leader of lian’s natural length hair committee

like when i tell you mark hates her extensions-

mark was the first friend lian was able to make in nct!

they bonded over canada and it was very rare to see them speaking in korean

mark goes into straight panic when he’s with her sometimes

has to remind himself they’re like siblings

lian ans mark covered “your eyes” by hoody and jay park during a vlive!

it was adorable :((

lian had him saved in her phone as “android user” but now she doesn’t know what to change it to

they had a fight in 2019

mark let’s her call him the weirdest freaking nicknames ヽ ( ꒪д꒪ )ﾉ

mars bar, markie, mork, marko

AND IN RETURN HE CALLS HER MARIJUANA-

he says it’s because czennies consider her to be addicting and since marijuana is addicting as well he thought it’d be a good fit

someone on twitter absolutely ENDED HIM though and wouldn’t stop making fun of him (；⌣̀_⌣́)

they can read each other’s mind just by looking at each other

“dude i hate this shit why does she keep asking us who we wanna collab with?” *cue lian laughing hysterically*

“what’s so funny (゜-゜)” — interviewer

HAECHAN + LIAN: LIHYUCK

haechan makes fun of her kissing scenes in dramas

calls her short all the time

“lian give me a high five- oh haha nevermind it’s too bad you’re so short”

they’ve actually been so close to fighting each other and i’m not even joking

they’re the two members who fight the most out of all of them

but despite this, they love each other very much

hyuck says he’s the only one who’s allowed to make her mad

and if anyone else makes her mad he’d kill them

limark 2019 fight flashbacks where haechan kept threatening mark

there are actually moments when they’re clingy with each other-

haechan loves her hugs :((

like ??????? one minute they’re at each other’s throats and the next, they’re all lovey dovey hugging each other make it make sense ?????

lian could be speaking english and he’d say, “korean, please. i can’t understand canadian”

“shut up <3”

hello haechan cried and wouldn’t let go of her during her and mark’s graduation ceremony in 2018

she makes fun of him for it but never takes it too far

he goes to her for dance advice

during their nct 2018 weekly idol appearance when they were doing the random kpop dance thing, they beat everyone أ‿أ

[finleycannotdraw]

Guess what? I’m re-binge-reading Good Omens. And here are some Obervations that I forgot about and some things I might put in fics. Also things I found funny. Basically my dumb commentary on the book.

Crowley actually flees Sister Mary. He doesn’t saunter vaguely away. He flees.

Ligur is rather more thoughtful than he’s portrayed in the show

Anathema likes to read about herself, and her teachers are confused because she spells words like Agnes Nutter

Crowley apologizes

By page 41, it is mentioned at least twice that Aziraphale and Crowley Do Not choose each other’s company for any reason other than that they are constants, that they have an Arrangement, and that they are Friends because being Enemies got boring.

Aziraphale blushes!!!!!!

The Drunk Scene is fuckin hilarious and it’s actually a lot longer than it is in the show, and really you ought to read it. (Book pages 47-50)

My mom (who has a PhD in human development) would probably like to talk to Crowley about upbringing because they seem to agree on how important it is

War has always looked 25, and had a vulture that died of fatty degeneration

Pollution is very cleverly compared to actual pollution

Warlock has Kermit the frog overalls, and Nanny Ashtoreth is described as someone who “advertises unspecified but strangely explicit services in certain magazines”. The tutors are present for about four paragraphs. Warlock is good at math and likes banana flavored bubblegum.

Crowley has a slice of angel cake. Aziraphale eats it. Aziraphale also eats deviled eggs. Hm.

Crowley calls Aziraphale angel casually enough to suggest he’s been doing it for a long time

Some girl at Warlock’s party calls Aziraphale a f*ggot

Crowley glares suspiciously at a gerbil. It is suggested that Hell has, in the past, sent hell-gerbils in place of hellhounds.

“Oh dear,” muttered Aziraphale, not swearing with the practiced ease of one who has spent six thousand years not swearing, and who wasn’t going to start now.

Adam and his friends play in a place called The Pit, where shopping carts go to die, apparently

Crowley is the first one to mention sides in the book!??!? Also Crowley goes on about how humans are more evil than Hell (but he calls himself evil—is he calling himself human already?)

Aziraphale yells “get off the road, you clown!”

“What’s a velvet underground?” *love confession???* “you wouldn’t like it”

Aziraphale is a bit rude to Crowley in the “flashes of love” scene and Crowley is less panicked about it

Crowley glares at the Bentley and it fixes itself

Anathema’s bike is called Phaeton

COULD THEY ACT ANY MORE MARRIED OH MY GOD

Aziraphale speaks like. Like ugh. “FlOUndeR on tHe rOcKS of inEquiTY”

“Thirty seconds later someone shot both of them. With incredible accuracy.” *cuts to a random pleasant story about Mary Hodges* *cuts back to where Aziraphale has fallen into a rhododendron and Crowley licks the paint before he knows it’s paint* dumbasses

Crowley does not slam Aziraphale into the wall

Crowley is actually pretty impatient and doesn’t argue with Aziraphale when he’s worried

“Nothing but dust and fundamentalists” “that was nasty” “sorry, couldn’t help it”

When the radio sings “Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,” Crowley sings “for me” and then screams

Crowley asks Aziraphale if he’ll keep in touch, and Aziraphale doesn’t say tickety-boo, and then Crowley says “right” and feels very alone

the international express man is small and has glasses, and wears green woolen socks

The sword, which turns out to be Aziraphale’s, is described as having an aura of hatred and menace, which makes me think of how it could’ve gotten that aura from Heaven or from humanity or from War...

In the book Pepper has red hair and freckles, which makes it a cool comparison to War’s appearance and the defeat of War

Adam is excellent at slouching, apparently

Occasionally, as Aziraphale reads the book, he would very nearly swear

“He wouldn’t have said ‘that’s weird’ if a flock of sheep had cycled past playing violins.”

“If you had told him there were children starving in Africa he would’ve been flattered that you’d noticed.”

“...that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.” (151)

Wensleydale watches David Attenborough programs

Shadwell’s voice is described as “the color of an old raincoat” and seems to fake smoking cigarettes

Aziraphales cocoa is moldy and solidified by the time he calls Arthur Young, and has a thin layer of dust on himself too

Newt says that the walls look like nicotine and the floor looks like cigarette ash, and he suspects both are, actually, coated with these substances

Newt looks a bit like Clark Kent, and people seem to like Shadwell for some reason, much to his annoyance.

Aziraphale calls Shadwell “dear boy” on the phone

Agnes Nutter called God a daft old fool #goals

Adam is wayyyy too good at video games

Smelling Anathema’s perfume makes Newt uncomfortable

Adam suggests that Pepper ought to have Russia cause of her red hair (huh)

Anathema and Newt actually have decent conversations?? Like?? Show??? C’mon, man. The show kinda butchered their relationship.

Trees, apparently, make a ‘vvrooooommm’ sound when they grow very fast

“He suspected that Crowley was from the Mafia, or the underworld, although he would have been surprised how right he nearly was.” Shadwell also thought Aziraphale was a Russian spy. Wow, Shadwell.

Aziraphale calls Crowley and actually says “shut up” to him, and then when the answering machine beeps, he tells Crowley to “stop making noises” and then he swears for the first time ever.

The fuckin’ footnote on page 227

“A sleek computer was the sort of thing Crowley felt that the sort of human he tried to be would have.” I like the word choice here. He’s not pretending to be a human, he’s trying to be one. That’s a really important distinction.

It never actually says what Crowley does to his plants.

Crowley’s flat is very white. Wow, Crowley. It just looks dark because of the lighting. Heaven imagery and symbolism out my ears, goddammit.

Why does Hell say Crowley’s name so much when talking to him?? Honestly, I think that’s an intentional dig at his chosen name, using it in their speech to scare him. Wow, Hell. (And wow, Finn, excellent sentence)

Whenever the book says something is shaped like something, it definitely isn’t that thing. “man-shaped” “dog-shaped” “car-shaped”... makes it pretty obvious they aren’t men, dogs, or cars, huh.

The code to Crowley’s safe is 4004. The year he “slithered onto this stupid, marvelous planet”... and the year he met Aziraphale, of course. Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt, Crowley, my dude.

Crowley consideres sticking Hastur into his car until he turns into Freddie Mercury but then decides even he isn’t that cruel

Actual text that I feel like nobody really agrees with: “Madame Tracy was by many yardsticks quite stupid”

“Do I look like I run a bookshop?” “...imagine me out of uniform, sir, and what kind of man would you see before you? Honestly?” “A prat.”

I’m crying. The fucking bookshop fire scene made me fucking cry. I’m literally crying.

“...on all fours in the blazing bookshop, Crowley cursed Aziraphale, and the ineffable plan, and Above, and Below.” “The police and firemen looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and stayed exactly where they were.” “...a crack of thunder so loud it hurt....” *the sound of Finley sobbing into their cat*

The shortest biker in the cafe thing is 6′2, what the fuck

War, Famine, Pollution, and Pop Trivia 1962-1979

“Pollution removed his helmet and shook out his long white hair. He had taken over when Pestilence, muttering about penicillin, had retired in 1936. If only the old boy had known what opportunities the future had held.” HMMMMMMMMMMM

“There were no bitches in Hell either.” I know it’s talking about female dogs, but I rather thought Hell was full of bitches.

“Why are you talking like a poofter?” “Ah. Australia.”

“gOsh, aM i on teLEviSiON?” (Basically Aziraphale gets passionate about stuff and likes to talk).

Crowley is actually an optimist and doesn’t dwell too much on how sucky the world is. He doesn’t go get smashed in a bar. He just finds Aziraphale’s notes in the book and heads to Tadfield. And also, his new pair of sunglasses just... materializes out of his eyes. And he likes to whistle.

“Death and Famine and War and Pollution continued biking to Tadfield. And Grievous Bodily Harm, Cruelty to Animals, Things Not Working Properly Even After You’ve Given Them A Good Thumping But Secretly No Alcohol Lager, and Really Cool People traveled with them.”

“on top of the pile a rather large octopus waved a languid tentacle at them. The sergeant resisted the temptation to wave back.” Honestly dude, if an octopus waved at me I’d wave back.

Wait Agnes was apparently talking to Shadwell and not God when she said yowe daft old foole. I dunno

Madame Tracy: You old silly. Shadwell: 

Aziraphale does not know how to get rid of demons. Canonically. “Had never done other to get rid of demons than to hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn’t it getting late? And Crowley always got the hint.”

The road to Hell is paved with frozen door to door salesmen, apparently. The question is where it is, because the demons always seem to just stem out of the ground.

“Heigh ho,” said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway. I love this sentence during that scene. 

I bet Hastur gets really mad whenever he hears Aziraphale’s voice from now on

Crowley isn’t breathing the entire burning Bentley scene

ADAM. SAID. “But I reckon you can make your own side” AND WE FUCKIN IGNORED IT?

The temperature above the M25 was simultaneously 700ºC and -140ºC which makes me think of something I read about magenta not being real. The M25 is magenta.

I feel like “Agnes” is just going to become an inside joke between Anathema and Newt at this point, and it will drive Crowley insane because he knows who she is but somehow still doesn’t get the joke.

I’m six inches taller than R.P. Tyler, and apparently according to the back sleeve of the book jacket, I’m very similar in height to Neil Gaiman

R.P. Tyler thought Shadwell was a ventriloquist’s dummy, and then sees cows doing somersaults

“That’s terrific. Much obliged,” said Crowley. — “Funny weather we’re having, isn’t it?” “Is it? I hadn’t noticed.” “Probably because your car is on fire.” .... Also the fact that Crowley looks like a young man which I find interesting.

“The Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse”

“Where is Armageddon, anyway?” “I’ve always meant to look that up.” “There’s an Armageddon, Pennsylvania”

Famine is the one that says “that’s one big avocado”, and also, I find it interesting that War, more than once, talks about love. (All is fair in love and war much?)

Anathema threatens the guard with a stick, pretending it’s a gun

Aziraphale, of course, asks Crowley to sort it out because he, Aziraphale, is “the nice one” and then proceeds to sort it out himself. Because of course he does. Because what else could he possibly do.

I just ADORE THIS BOOK OKAY

I’M PROBABLY GOING TO READ IT AGAIN IN A MONTH

Aziraphale and Crowley are so fuckin married I can’t

[louiseleblancdiggory]

Pumpkin Mangling

31 Days of Spooktober

Day 3/31

Prompt: (from the other list) 4. “Maybe pumpkin carving isn’t your thing...”

Dorian had learned how to deal with strong willed women since he was a child.

He had bee raised with the most stubborn, strong and determined woman he could ever think of, and if someone could survive Aelin, the person could survive anyone.

He knew when they needed space and when they needed company. When they needed help and when they simply needed support. He had made sure that he was always a friend she could count on, and slowly he learned how to deal with situations the required him to proceed carefully.

He knew how to deal with woman. He really did.

And yet.

And yet, even knowing he shouldn’t, Dorian was in the brink of literal tears from holding his laughter in. He knew that, one single chuckle from him, and the seven inch knife on Manon’s hand would be buried on his thigh. Like his best friend, Manon was extremely independent and short tempered. More times than not, she wanted to to everything by herself not because she didn’t want help, but because she refused to ask.

Dorian knew that much of it had to do with her upbringing. Her grandmother was the worst human being he could ever think of, and the fact that Manon had been raised by that monster always made his heart ache. Her grandmother was cold, cruel and unforgiving. She had taught Manon to be the exact same but, although she could be those things, there was a softer side of Manon that she rarely let anyone— even herself— see.

“Baby—“ Dorian started cautiously, but the laughter could be noticed in his voice.

Manon didn’t took her eyes from what was in front of her, hand gripping the knife tighter. “Don’t.”

She had almost growled it, which only made the situation much funnier to Dorian. “Manon, I really—“

“I’ll fucking impale you, Havilliard.”

“I just think that maybe pumpkin carving isn’t your thing.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Manon declared, turning to Dorian. Her golden eyes were aflame, cheeks dirty with pumpkin filling. She was holding the knife as if she was about to take a run and stab Dorian. “I swear to the Gods, Dorian, if you laugh—“

Honestly, Dorian didn’t know what exactly made him snap. He didn’t know if it was the pumpkin all over her face, the cheeks red from anger. He didn’t know if it was the threatening voice, the hand shaking as she held the knife. Or maybe the simple fact that his girlfriend has never carved a pumpkin and she was absolute shit on it.

Dorian had to grab the counter as he doubled over in a fit of laughter. Manon hated being bad at something, and she had only decided to do this when Aelin taunted her about not being able to do something that even toddlers could.

Manon simply replied by saying that it wasn’t that she didn’t know how to do, she just never wanted to do.

Turns out that was a lie.

“Stop!” Manon shouted, letting go of the knife and stomping up to him. Without her usual heeled boots, Manon was comically short near Dorian. The sight of her crossing her arms in front of him, eyes narrowing just made him cackle more. “Dorian, I fucking meant it.”

Dorian took some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. “You’re shit at carving pumpkins.”

“I’ll carve out your heart, you bloody prick.”

“You’re so fucking bad. It looks like someone stabbed it repeatedly.” He put a hand over his mouth as he looked at the mangled pumpkin on the table. It had been cut so many times that it was falling apart.

“The first one was worst.” Manon grunted. By her widening eyes, she immediately regretted what she had said.

Dorian guffawed, throwing his head back as literal tears fell down his cheeks. “This is not your first attempt?”

“I hate you. I fucking hate you and I hate Galathynius for making me even try this shit. It’s fucking useless!”

“Nah.” Dorian tried to say seriously. “It will certainly scare off the spirits. Actually, with this appearance, it will scare off anything.”

Manon shook her head, looking at the destruction she had caused. A small smile bloomed on her lips, and she let out a single laugh. “I hate you both. I mean it. I couldn’t have asked for a worst boyfriend and an even worse best friend.”

Dorian took a step forward, hugging Manon. As per usual, she was rigid as a block of cement for the first seconds before letting herself to relax. Manon wasn’t used on physical touch as a form of love demonstration. Dorian was the one who usually hugged her, kissed her and most of the small touches started from him. It never really bothered him, not really. Manon’s love demonstrations were completely different, but not lesser.

She was absurdly smart. She knew so much about science that it was mind blowing whenever she talked to Dorian about it. That was her love demonstrations. Manon was so reserved, so prompt to shove people away that whenever she talked about something she loved, whenever she let Dorian see the excited, passionate part of her, it was her way of saying that she trusted him. That she loved him just as much even though she wasn’t too keen on physically showing it all the time.

Manon would never be a helpless romantic, but Dorian wouldn’t even wish for anyone else’s love other than hers.

He kissed the top of her head, resting his chin on it. “If it is any consolation, I was shit at it when I was younger. Aelin teased me endlessly. Hers were always pretty and perfect, always the artist, but mine were even worse than yours.”

“You were five.” Manon mumbled.

“So? I learned because I had time. I’ll admit, your pumpkin is hideous—“ He was interrupted when she pinched him hard on his side. “But,” he said forcefully. “But you never had it during your childhood, you can’t expect to sit down and do it perfectly on your first day.”

“You said Aelin’s were.”

“Aelin is not human. Besides, she is an artist. The girl has been sculpting since she could walk. Pumpkins are a joke to her.” Dorian reminded Manon.

“I’ll throw this pumpkin on her face next time I see her.” Manon said only half-jokingly. Dorian had never been happier when his best friend and girlfriend became so close, became best friends themselves.

Until he realized what Manon and Aelin being best friends meant.

They were insane.

They had constant prank wars, were always bickering even though it was obvious that they loved each other like sisters. They were the two scariest people Dorian had ever seen, and them being best friends was terrifyingly entertaining.

“Give it to Whitethorn. I don’t think there is anyone whose existence annoys Aelin more. She would combust in anger if he threw a speck of pumpkin on her.”

Manon drew back, eyes wide as she stared up at Dorian. A huge smile appeared on her lips, and she let out a strange laugh. “Dorian Havilliard, you are a genius.”

Dorian narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “I was joking. Leave Aelin and Rowan’s situation alone. Those two have been hating each other for years now.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Manon defended herself, but her voice didn’t match her words.

“Blackbeak, I mean it.”

She just laughed evilly, leaving Dorian’s arms to sit back at her stool. “Just sit and relax baby. Actually…”

Dorian waited for her to finish, raising her eyebrows when she didn’t. “Actually what?”

Manon hesitated, taking a deep breath and sighing. “Could you help me? With the carving?”

A part of Dorian wanted to smile and be smug about it, but he knew that if he did that, Manon would never feel comfortable in asking him for help again. It was an unusual thing, and it filled Dorian’s chest with warmth to know that Manon trusted him enough to be vulnerable around him— even if just a little.

So Dorian smiled softly and assented, walking to her. “Of course I can, baby.”

He sat by her side, taking another pumpkin and helping her carve it. They spent the whole evening doing so, laughing when one messed up. Dorian’s cheeks hurt from smiling when Manon celebrated finally carving one correctly.

Things were good.

And when Dorian looked at Manon’s gorgeous face again, he realized that things were actually great.

.

.

.

.

A/N: This is so small but it’s also my first time writing Manorian so it’s uncharted grounds for me, have patience and let me know if you liked it! Also, if you’re not getting tagged but you’re on the tag list, let me know please!

Tags:

@in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jlinez @courtofjurdan @aelinfeyreeleven945tbln @ladywitchling @lexflame @sleeping-and-books @annejulianneh111 @perseusannabeth @linshryver @mu-si-ca-l @camilamartinezdunne @dank-queen7 @minaidss @starborn-faerie-queen @booksofthemoon @loveofbooksandwine @jesstargaryenqueen @bluejaberry @multifandommessblog @yesdreamblog @superspiritfestival @ireallyshouldsleeprn @maastrash @queen-of-glass @morganofthewildfire @julemmaes 

[stomp-that-ho-regard]

I typically don’t do asks (I've only ever gotten a few), but a recent one got my gears turning and I wanted to reply.

(This is a secondary blog, so I can’t answer asks in the usual way.)

Your post about the retcon is so fucking good, I wish every critter saw it and actually thought about how shitty it was done, but then their belief in the cast and show would probably start cracking.

Thank you for liking the retcon post. I’ve seen various people in the tags thank me for making that post and have said that it’s helped them ‘feel less insane’. None of us are insane. We are not delusional. We didn’t experience a mass hallucination. These things happened, and they’ve been thoroughly documented. Hundreds of hours of material over the course of three years.

The people who should read that post won’t ever see it because I have all those assholes blocked lol. If they did manage to find it somehow, I know they would just mock it, as they’re wont to do with any of our criticisms. They’re so far up CR’s ass, they’ve convinced themselves that a retcon didn’t happen. Even shoving the literal definition of the word in their faces wouldn’t wake them up.

It's just so fucking weird to see how the group is acting now, and I'm pretty sure we're never gonna get a Laura&Marisha episode picture and a TM episode with those 2 for the rest of the campaign. It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore🙄 it's the same fucking pattern and like you, I thought I wouldn't have to deal with this on a d&d show.

I specifically want to address the “It feels like when a non-canon wlw ship gets big on a TV show and suddenly the actresses can't be seen or interact with each other anymore” because I’ve thought about that pattern too. (Not so much with Marisha/Laura ‘cause them being on TM together is already a rare combo. If they don’t appear much or at all going forward, I don’t think it’s because of this, though it really wouldn’t surprise me. But, I have been thinking about that specific pattern in regard to their characters.)

I can make a comparison between this situation and what happened with the show A/gent Carter and the way the ship Cart/inelli was handled.

I know that might sound weird, but stay with me here lol...

I want to make it clear that I’m not comparing the relationships at all. Cart/inelli did not have nearly the same amount of build-up and depth as Beaujester, (or quite frankly, their level of possibility.) What I am comparing is the creators over-the-top reactions to these characters being shipped so hard and the extreme measures they went to in order to ‘remedy’ that.

The ship included P/eggy Carter and A/ngie Martinelli. The show was set in New York. Angie was a waitress (who wanted to be an actress/be on Broadway) at the diner that Peggy frequented. They ended up talking quite a bit and became fairly close. That ended up kind of becoming the core relationship in the entire first season, and LOTS of people started shipping it.

At the time, no one was calling us crazy or delusional. At most it was, “This is ABC! They’re not gonna pair her with a woman!” and of course the obligatory “But Peggy’s not gay!”. But no one was calling us names or being generally cruel. And anyone who tried it was ignored because everyone else drowned them out. The ship became extremely popular on Tumblr and Twitter. Both actresses were very positive and supportive. They regularly liked/retweeted romantic Cart/inelli fanart on Twitter. Even one of the female writers on the show got behind it too. It was asked about frequently at conventions and no one booed or rolled their eyes. The questions were never dismissed or made into a joke. (Honestly, this was one of the better overall fandom experiences I’ve had on here.)

And all of us were super excited for S2. Not just because of all the support, but because they had ended S1 with Peggy and Angie moving in together. Peggy had purchased, either it was a really fancy apartment or house (my memory is fuzzy on this), and she literally asked Angie to stay with her. Needless to say, that fueled the flames even more.

But despite the actresses and at least one writer being on board, between S1 and S2, something shifted.

Clearly, the showrunner and/or the execs, took a look at all of this and deemed it a ‘problem’. When S2 finally came around, suddenly everything was different. Instead of both of them living together in New York, instead of it being an organic (I’m beginning to hate that word) continuation from where they left off, Peggy decided to move to Los Angeles to do work for some agency out there or something, and Angie stayed in New York. It’s never explained why. It’s never explained why a woman who so badly wanted to be an actress would NOT want to go to LA, where Hollywood is. LA was never mentioned in S1. There were no hints that Peggy might want to fly out to the West Coast at some point. She seemed perfectly happy in NY, basically setting up house with Angie.

And they didn’t even ease into the change. They just got rid of the character. The actress was bummed about it and Cart/inelli fans tried to put pressure on the showrunner/writers to bring Angie back, which the actress completely supported, but even that fell on deaf ears. So, Angie was simply no longer an entity on that show. Conveniently removed. All the excitement we had was crushed. And of course, the second that Peggy got out to LA, she suddenly had a very obvious male love interest. What a surprise.

The showrunner/writers were not subtle about what they thought about our ship and us. They made the most extreme, nonsensical writing decision in order to permanently separate these two characters. Because, hey, that’s the only way to get the shippers to STOP, right?

This was what I was reminded of when I started seeing the turn that post-hiatus CR was taking. It ended up being a weird combination of kneejerk erasure (BJ) and heavy-handed overcompensation (BY).

But of course, CR is not a TV show, it’s D&D. And they can’t force one of their PCs to just disappear, so what do they have to resort to? Not interacting.

We all know how severely neutered Beau and Jester’s general relationship has become. It’s clear to me that both Marisha and Laura felt they had to do that. They had to suddenly have their characters stay away from each other as much as possible so they could prioritize Fjord and Yasha, and speed-run into romances with them. They started acting as if either of them giving the other one ounce of affectionate attention (like they had been doing so often and so naturally before), would be breaking some sort of hidden ‘relationship code’. Almost like if they ever hugged again, the studio would go down in flames.

The very obvious fact that they went to these lengths, to me, proves two things...

One, it proves the retcon even more, because you can tell that the way they behaved with each other DID in fact change. The frequency of interactions and the way those interactions would play out. Whenever they interact now, it seems like they’re trying to keep it as short, thin, and almost comedic (to the point of goofiness, and not in a good way) as possible. Their engagement seems half-assed and dull. The sounds of their voices, their facial expressions... completely sanitized. Even all the physicality they had is gone; the touches, the hugs, the cuddling. Every single aspect is different and they absolutely did that intentionally. This had to happen because they needed to dupe the viewers into believing that despite overall interest waning, their threadbare connections to Fjord and Yasha are more important, and were always more important then their connection to each other, that we all watched them steadily build. (And watched them pick up steam from about ep70 onwards.)

And two, that whole intentional decision to cut themselves off from each other, proves to me that their interactions pre-hiatus were indeed tinged with ‘something extra’, that was more than just friendship. They both recognized it and that’s why they pulled back so hard. That’s why soft touches and hugs and cuddling are no longer ‘allowed’. That’s why quiet, heartfelt conversations are no longer ‘allowed’. Because if there was absolutely nothing there, if they didn’t see/feel any romantic chemistry simmering underneath, and it was all just platonic BFF stuff, why would they suppress their behavior so drastically?

I think that all of this really does cement what I said in my retcon post: That there are disingenuous patterns being used here that I’ve seen far too often in media. In A/gent Carter, it was a character separation, in CR it was a character dynamic separation. Both done on purpose, to make the shippers shut up, and to push a different plot.

One is scripted, the other is unscripted, but the situations feel disgustingly similar, don’t they?

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

smptwt as of 04/07/2020

Right. You asked for it, so you shall recieve. Below the cut is probably one of the most thought-out, in-depth, hopefully unbiased (but probably not) and above all helpful accounts of what the fuck is happening in the smplive and lunch club fandoms right now. I will be covering everything I can- but in the case that I’ve forgotten something, please let me know so I can have a crack at making an update.

Before the cut, I’d just like to link my first three posts about this same topic, covering my thoughts and the events of the last couple of months of drama. It feels so strange that I’ve made so many of these, but as long as they help people, I’ll keep making them.

Part 1: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619547090403622912/the-cscoopsmptwt-drama

Part 2: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619746266158661633/more-on-smptwt-long-post

Part 3: https://crunchy-corvid.tumblr.com/post/619886809143476225/smptwt-part-3-030620

I’d like to preface this with a huge thank you to everyone who helped me collect and compile information for this post- and those who helped censor twitter handles and edit screenshots. Without you, this post would have never been made. 

Thank you to everyone on the Cancelled Heaven discord server:  https://discord.gg/emrh2u

Now, onto the thing.

So we’ll start at the beginning with the easiest ‘drama’ (I hate calling it that) to cover. Charlie (slimecicle) tweeted on his second account and it caused a little upset. It’s not much but it feeds into a greater conversation that I think is relevant here: 

We’ll start with Charlie’s original point, then move on to the reply. Obviously, this post was poorly timed, because everyone thought it was about the Cooper (cscoop) drama, when in reality it was just a general comment. I saw a lot of replies along the lines of ‘it’s okay you can @ cscoop’ and similar things. If you’ve read my previous posts you’ll know how I feel about the Cooper situation, but regardless, there are a few reasons why this is a Bad Take/poor interpretation of what Charlie said.

Charlie and Cooper are friends. They haven’t fallen out as far as we know. Charlie is left-wing, and definately doesn’t seem like the kind of person to be friends with someone who is racist/transphobic/sexist etc. So why would he be talking about Cooper in this post? 

Also, Charlie is clearly talking about people who still say slurs, not people who have said slurs in the past. This is how I read it, a jab at streamers and gamers who use ‘dark humour’ to justifty their actions. A lot of people seemed to relate this to Cooper, despite him never trying to justify his use of slurs. The people who did try to justify his actions this way were fans, not the man himself. So again, this post doesn’t relate to Cooper.

On to the reply, which sparks a different conversation all together. While I see where the commenter is coming from, and agree with them to an extent, Charlie is allowed to have his own opinion on the matter. And he is right. Using insulting language against heterosexual people does create a larger divide and doesn’t get anyone on our ‘side’. It just makes us look immature and causes a lot of straight cis people to assume that we hate them. 

On the other hand, I do think that saying things like ‘disgusting hets’ can be a funny joke if you are saying it to your friends who don’t have any issue with it. You probably shouldn’t get into the habit of saying things like that though, just in case you actually hurt someone with your words. Both sides of the argument have pros and cons, so anyone angry at Charlie for his opinion really have no reason to be.

Charlie’s reponse to this comment was reasonable, responsible, and mature, and he is clearly showing that he understands the concerns of his audience. This is all I’ll say about Charlie in this post. Honestly, he’s generally unproblematic and ‘safe’ to keep watching, if you enjoy a very drama-free environment. Have fun!

Now I’ll move on to Ted. He’s made some great points recently about cancel culture which I strongly agree with. Here’s his first tweets:

I don’t have much to add here, this is perfectly valid in my opinion- though I feel like sometimes you can tell a lot about a person by the people they follow. For example, if someone follows Trump, Ben Shapiro, and a bunch of right-wing youtubers, they probably agree with a lot of the things they say. But I think the point Ted is trying to make is that he shouldn’t be harassed about drama his friends fall into. If he isn’t involved, leave him out of it. 

Next we’ll take a look at his tweets on stans, probably sparked by the drama with Carson, which I will be talking about later. 

Again, I have no issue with what Ted is saying here. His idea is a good one, and a fun way to distinguish casual fans from people who create art, content, and (appropriate) fanfiction for the ‘flandom’! 

Basically, how I see it, is that a ‘fan’ is a casual viewer who doesn’t really get involved in the flandom, maybe posting about smplive and/or lunch club occasionally, but not being too involved. A ‘flan’ is someone who interracts a lot, creates art and fiction that respects boundaries, and posts more about the boys than a casual fan does. A ‘stan’ is a stalker-fan, creepy and obsessive, too invested, maybe creates art and fiction that crosses boundaries, and obsessively posts about the boys.

I think this new terminology is really cool and Ted is smart for coming up with it (also, probably hungry when coming up with it too). I think that the term ‘stan’ should be thrown out and used to describe the ‘bad’ side of fandoms. There is a risk that people will hide behind the term ‘flan’ to disguise the fact that they are a stan, but this is still a good step foward. 

But you’re not here to listen to me ramble about Ted or Charlie. You’re here for Carson. So let’s get on with it.

Carson made a series of tweets talking about stans, much like Ted did later. He seemed tired of stans harassing him about his friends, a sentiment shared by Ted (who faced very minimal backlash over his tweets). Here’s what he said:

Which is something I fully agree with. For big content creators like Carson and his friends, stan culture is absolutely insane. Recently they’ve been trying to ‘catch out’ many people who are part of smplive and/or lunch club, most obviously with Cooper and Schlatt but I’ve seen the others getting ‘called out’ too. Carson’s anti-stan stance is well-known in the flandom (yes I am using that word get used to it) so these tweets didn’t surprise me. 

For some reason stans seem to think that if one creator is okay with their behaviour, every other creator is too. This is not the case. Carson was within his full right to say these things about stans.

Obviously the replies got out of hand. People became horribly angry very quickly, and clearly Carson had already had enough because pretty soon he started blocking stan accounts- which only made them more mad.

Of course, there were supporters and anti-stan comments out there too, such as this fun exchange:

But a whole lot of people got angry. Carson was trending for a while, too, after he started blocking stans. Unfortunately some people did get wrongfully blocked, which sucks, sure, but use of an alt account or logging off of twitter can solve that problem (this can also be said for stan accounts. Carson didn’t stop any of them from viewing his content, just blocked them so that he didn’t have to see their tweets).

Carson did this for his own mental health. After a long conversation with older people who have been in fandoms for decades, I can tell you that being at the top is always hell. New threads created about you every day, friends you can’t trust, and people giving you shit for things other people said. I can’t imagine how someone as popular as Carson has dealt with this for so long.

People who were blocked started to claim that they were having panic attacks, that they hyperfixate so they can’t help being obsessive, and that Carson doesn’t care about mental health for these reasons. They said some pretty toxic and manipulative things and a lot of people clearly didn’t know what they were talking about:

First of all, these comments on the Katerino and Fitz situation are honestly disgusting. These people are only proving Carson’s point that stans will be super supportive one second and turn around to hate you the next. To bring up something like this, something completely unrelated and highly personal- knowing Carson will see- is disgraceful. To speculate about a relationship that Carson has explicitly stated he doesn’t want people to speculate about just to try and make a point? Horrible.

A lot of stans seem to have this ‘we made you famous so we dictate how you feel’ mentality, which I hate. Exactly as the reply says, they sound like toxic parents with these words. To think you deserve ‘respect’ from someone after accusing their friends of horrible things and harassing them to the point that they block you is so manipulative and quite frankly cruel.

Again, Carson has the right to block anyone he wants. Creators are not your friends, they are entertainment. If you are making them upset and harassing them, you shouldn’t get mad when they block you. 

Listen. It can be tough, finding out that someone you look up to has blocked you. Yes, I’m sure people had a not-so-nice time with their mental health when it happened to them. But in most cases, they were blocked for a reason. Some people were even literally asking to get blocked and then got mad when they did. But again, no one has been barred from viewing Carson’s content. He simply blocked people who he didn’t want to see in his comments section.

You have freedom of speech, but you don’t have freedom from consequence. If you say something that hurts someone else, you’re not always going to be free from their judgement. 

Carson has been very open about his own struggles with depression and imposter syndrome recently, and people are viewing his actions as... hypocritical? This is flawed logic. Carson blocked stans because they were bad for his mental health, the fact that some claim to have had ‘panic attacks’ as a result is not on him. He has the autonomy to block who he wants to block. 

Wilbur Soot made some comments about the situation, which can be found in this video from 7 minutes 30 seconds in, and goes until 10 minutes and 11 seconds in:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/667971714

What Wilbur says here is completely understandable. He doesn’t have a problem with stans, but doesn’t speak for anyone but himself. Just because one person is okay with something doesn’t mean someone else is, too. 

Also, a lot of people think that it’s okay to hate on someone like Carson or Schlatt, then turn around and stan Wilbur, which is kind of fucked up, because they’re friends in real life. How would you feel if someone was super nice to you, then turned around and harassed your friends?

A lot of people claimed to have ‘hyperfixations’ on Carson or lunch club, which they used as an excuse to be obsessive and creepy. This is bullshit, but someone else explained it a lot better than I could:

And I absolutely agree with this. You cannot use neurodivergence to explain away your creepiness. That’s just offensive to people who do hyperfixate, and leads to even more problems and misunderstandings.

Carson did a stream much later where he talked about all of these things, and boy did that go well (not). Here is a clip of him talking about hyperfixations:

https://m.twitch.tv/clip/SuaveBlushingDotterelBCWarrior

Now, here’s where my support for Carson falters. He should have done more research on what hyperfixations really are before he said things about them. He hurt some people with what he said, and just saying he’s uneducated on the topic isn’t really an excuse.

HOWEVER. Carson was given very little time to research (about 24 hours between his original tweets and his stream) and, more importantly, it is very obvious that the use of the term ‘hyperfixation’ has been warped and manipulated by stans who are misusing the term to excuse their behaviour. Carson probably saw stans using it and assumed it was something synonomous with ‘obsessions’.

What he said was poorly worded, but the point he was making is the same as the (much more researched and informative) tweet above. Anyone getting mad that he is somehow ‘invalidating mental health or autism’ with his comments clearly don’t understand the point he was trying to make in the first place.

And here’s a clip of Connor talking about it, too, as well as defending Carson’s right to block people as he wishes:

https://www.twitch.tv/connoreatspants/clip/YummySlickPlumageSpicyBoy

https://www.twitch.tv/connoreatspants/clip/JazzySpotlessMelonMoreCowbell

What he said here is completely valid, a little poorly worded in the same way as Carson’s statement, but overall something I stand behind.

Some people are claiming that Carson is being manipulative or ‘gaslighting’ fans and stans:

Carson is not against fans who create cool stuff for him and his friends. He is against the people who harass him, accuse his friends of horrible things, and try to look for every little thing they’ve said and done wrong. This is what he said, and people got mad at him for it, and so he blocked them. That is it. There is no gaslighting. There is no manipulation. I’ve seen much more manipulative things coming from the stans’ side of things.

Now we move on to Noah’s reply to Carson’s tweet. Which, yes, caused a whole new can of worms to be opened.

Now, for those like me who have trouble figuring out Noah’s way of speaking, let me translate: ‘stans are insecure people who start to feel entitled because they’ve started to view a streamer they like as a friend/someone who shares their pain.’ 

For those of you who don’t know, this is what ‘don’t negotiate with terrorists’ means:

However, almost predictably, stans saw the word ‘terrorist’ and lost their goddamn minds. That, coupled with the complicated phrasing of Noah’s words, caused a lot of stans to freak out.

This conversation is full of Bad Takes, but my main issue is that they are trying to diagnose Noah with an actual mental illness. That is not only offensive to people who have that illness (especially calling him ‘insane’ in the same sentence, as well as implying that having said illness makes you a bad person) but is also highly hypocritical since so many stans claimed to all be neurodivergent themselves. 

Also, 90% of his fans aren’t stans. They’re mostly fans or flans. You are a loud minority. You aren’t as powerful as you think you are. Noah even started to retweet hate comments, that’s how few shits he gave. He also shows that he is concerned about people making things up about him, which is understandable.

Plus he outright said that stans are not fans of him, which in most cases, they’re not. Noah’s content isn’t as widely watched as some of his friends’ stuff, and a lot of stans don’t watch his streams.

But anyway, here’s one good take I saw floating around:

After this, before his stream, Carson deleted his original tweets and spent some time with his family, which was a sensible and mature thing to do at this point. 

During Carson’s stream, someone notified him that his ‘fans’ had started to doxx stans. Here is his reaction:

https://m.twitch.tv/callmecarsonlive/clip/SpicySassyGerbilArgieB8

A lot of people got mad that he didn’t do more to stop the doxxings, but I want to raise the question: what was he supposed to do? He can’t control his ‘fans’ (another breed of stans who don’t call themselves stans were doing the doxxings, to be honest) and he said not to do it. He was streaming, he didn’t know how serious it was or even if it was true, at that moment, what was he supposed to do?

It did get serious. People I know were doxxed. Anyone posting anything (positive or negative) about lunch club, smplive, and Carson were in danger. It was not fake like some people claimed. The twt handles in this post are blurred out because of the doxxing threats. I am making this post at my own risk, but I do feel that tumblr is safer than twitter at the moment.

This being said, it is in no way Carson’s fault how out of hand this has become. He has been against doxxing in the past and his sentiments haven’t changed. He has said more about the doxxings in replies to tweets such as this one:

Also, here’s what the mods on Carson’s discord server had to say about the situation. They’ve clearly talked about this with Carson, and are strongly against anyone who is doxxing these people (especially since a lot of the people being doxxed are minors).

A similar sentiment was shared on Ted’s discord server:

Here is what ItsAsaii had to say:

So that’s basically where everything stands right now. If you want an even fuller update on everything, check out Carson’s stream ‘afternoon fellas and fellettes’ where he talks about everything.

Here’s the last tweets I have from Carson regarding the whole situation:

And I agree fully with what he has said. And again, Carson doesn’t owe stans anything. Just like what was said here, he had subs and fans before he had stans, they did not ‘make’ him, and they cannot control him.

This is all I have to say, for now. If I have missed anything or you’d like me to cover anything else, please let me know. If I have hugely missed the mark and said something super wrong/offensive, let me know. If you’d like me to talk about a streamer or youtuber not related to lunch club, throw me a DM or an ask and I’ll try to compile some things, even if I don’t watch their content or know who they are.

If you’d like up-to-date information about drama in smptwt, streamers, and youtubers, join the Cancelled Heaven discord server- which I linked at the start of the post. 

I thank you all for reading, and suggest that you reblog this so that as many people as possible can see it. If you want to risk it, go ahead and link this post in a tweet or something, but please do be careful. 

For some ‘extra reading’ (watching) I highly recommend Contrapoints’ video on cancel culture: https://youtu.be/OjMPJVmXxV8

And Philosophy Tube’s video on artists and fandoms, there’s some really insightful things about parasocial relationships: https://youtu.be/3IG0Y63LkDM

Lots of love, and have a great day <3

[angelicmichael]

Since you are an angst queen I know you’d make magic out of anything on the list, but how about number 9 with Michael?

A/N: First of all that’s a huge compliment thank you 😭🥺 I hope you like this!! I’m sorry it’s so long for a blurb lol. if u want a song that describes this fic PERFECTLY then listen to flesh without blood by grimes!! Like, I didn’t even mean too but the song matches this fic so perfectly. Anyway enjoy ♥️ Reblogs and likes are greatly appreciated :)

Warnings: breaking up, MAJOR character(s) death - the death isn’t really described but it’s suggested at the end of the fic, Reader burns herself so I guess burning? Lol, it’s not really suicide but Reader knows about her death and accepts it so it could be considered as such? Idk.

You never thought it would come to this.

Even from the beginning you knew he was trouble. He was too beautiful; to perfect.. He had to be corrupt in some way. And he sure was.

However nothing could prepare you to handle the fact that he was the antichrist, satans son. At first you laughed it off and thought he was trying to be funny but it was clear to you it wasn’t a joke when he told you about the bombs.

As fucked up as it sounds, you were okay with it. As long as you were by his side, you would be okay. However; as the date of the nuclear attack grew closer and closer, you started to second thoughts. You had second thoughts about everything but mostly about dating Michael.

He was starting to draw away from you, which was understandable since he was getting so busy. However in the moments when he happened to be free and tried to reach out to you, you found yourself withdrawing from him as well.

Knowing what destruction he was capable of, and what he was planning on doing made you start to withdraw from him.

What the fuck were you even thinking with dating this guy in the first place? How could there ever be a happy ending with the antichrist?

Long story short you now were in a fucking predicament, to say the least.

The bombs went off tommorow. you knew that. Michael knew that, and so did the cooperative. That was everyone who knew and who was okay with the world fucking ending. You couldn’t fucking handle it anymore.

You were tired of feeling like the responsibility of the world was in your hands, and you were tired of tolerating Michaels shit.

You loved him, and him alone. As much as it hurt to admit it, the thing that turned you off so much about Michael was all the fucking baggage he carried. You wanted him, not the cooperative, not his fucking magic powers, not his fucked up family, and espically not his fucking urge to destroy everything he touched. You knew all of that wasn’t truly him, it wasn’t his spirit.

It was the satanists and Satan himself that made Michael so fucking sadistic. And you hated it. You started to hate him for letting this happen, for allowing himself to surrender to such darkness.

You and Michael were due to leave at the crack of dawn to go to the sanctuary, before the bombs hit but you had different ideas. You were leaving tonight. As soon as you finished writing him this damn letter.

It was nighttime and you were alone in you and Michaels shared home. Or.. really just Michaels home now. You knew you had to write this letter soon before he came back, you had already packed everything and you had a hotel set up - waiting for you. You already had all of your belongings in boxes and ready to go by the front door, but right now you were still fucking stumped.

You sat at Michaels desk that he used for work; with a peice of blank paper in front of you with a pen in your hand.

You twiddled the pen nervously; trying to think of what you even wanted to say to him.

You kept the light dim, just enough so that you could see what you wanted to write. Having the light on brightly seemed to just make you sweat and make you even more nervous for some odd reason.

You finally bit the bullet and decided to just fucking do it, you started writing.

‘Dearest Michael,

I hope this letter finds you well. I know you hate unpredictability but I had to do this, this way. I know that if I looked you in the eyes and told you that I had to leave you - that I wouldn’t be able to take it so.. I’m sorry Michael. I’m so fucking sorry. It’s not that I don’t love you, because I do. I love you so fucking much. Too much to see you live the rest of your life like this, controlled by the Cooperative and being manipulated like that. I mean, think about it Michael. REALLY think. Do you really want to live the rest of your life having to manage of all them? Having to be dictated by fucking Satan for ‘probably’ eternity? I don’t want a future like that Michael. I would rather be taken out tommorow quickly by the bombs than live the rest of my life in a fucking wasteland. Understand that I love you but not the situation. I packed everything and I’m leaving tonight; please don’t try to find me. I just want to spend the little remaining hours I have alone please. I know how excited you were for tommorow and I’m sorry that you’ll have to celebrate alone -“.

You stopped writing for a second. You really were a fucking idiot, weren’t you? How god damn naive have you been? Michaels been spending more time at the fucking cooperative than he had at home, of course he wasn’t alone. That made no sense.

You wouldn’t be surprised if he was fucking some random cooperative member; Michael was gorgeous - everyone wanted him. You shook your head, I mean there was no point to not call him out on it. You could basically say whatever you wanted now - you were going to die tommorow anyways. You focused back on the paper in front of you and continued writing.

‘but im sure you’ll just find some bitch to fuck and celebrate that way, won’t you?

Yours truly,

(Y/n)’.

You put the pen back where you had previously found it and took the letter in your hands. You reread your mini speech and you felt odd.

You didn’t feel quite sad, but you weren’t happy either. You supposed you were kind of relieved. Relieved to finally have told Michael what you always wanted too. Relieved you didn’t have to date some sadistic, cruel man forever.

You turned the corner in the house and opened the door that lead to the bedroom. You had made the bed and you put the letter in the middle right below the pillows, no way he could fucking miss it.

You let out a dry laugh - not because anything was funny but out of disbelief. You were actually doing it. You were really leaving Michael.

You turned on your heel and with a snap of your fingers the lights turned off. It was now time to get the fuck out of here.

——————————

It was a beautiful day. The sun shone brightly onto you as you basked in it. It was early morning, the next day and you sat in a metal chair outside of a cafe with a coffee in front of you.

Today was the day.

You didn’t know the exact time the bombs were due to go off but you knew it was sometime before noon, and it was nearing 8 am.

You expected to get hundred of phone calls last night or to even have Michael show up at your hotel but none of that happened.. And you would be lying if you said that didn’t disappoint you a little. You did miss him.

You took a sip of coffee, savoring the taste before swallowing it. You picked up the cup - getting ready to raise it to your lips when you heard the other metal chair that was across the table from you being pulled back. The sound of metal across the concrete was like nails on chalkboard - you jumped and a good portion of your hot coffee slid down your shirt.

You bolted out of the chair - trying to go to the bathroom so you could dry yourself off but instead you felt a firm hand grab your wrist.

“Wait”. The tone of the voice you heard was soft yet demanding; so you listened. Also the voice was way too fucking familiar, you knew it belonged to a male due to the deep tone of it. With a quick look, it confirmed your suspicions. It was fucking Michael.

You stood there shaking, your chest was on fucking fire - stinging. Tears brimmed your eyes as you tried to get your wrist back but Michael held onto it even tighter.

“Michael! I need to go-“ You quickly pleaded.

“No, you don’t”. Michael snarled. You looked into his eyes you noticed how he had tears in his eyes, too. You stood there for a moment, in pain and being insanely uncomfterable in the hot sun that seemed to amplify the pain of your new burn. It was almost as if he enjoyed your suffering, like some kind of subtle revenge for you leaving him last night.

After getting a couple of weird looks, Michael sheepishly let your wrist go and allowed you to move just enough so you could sit across from him at the table.

You sniffled and brushed the tears off of your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“I told you not to find me, Michael”. You said in a deeper tone than of which you normally spoke in. It was because of how emotional you were starting to become, did he really come back for you?

“(Y/n), what’s gotten into you? Do you think I chose you over the Cooperative or something”? Michael spoke, gently shaking his head as he did so.

You were on the edge of your seat (literally) as you quickly replied, speaking so fast you barely even comprehended or really thought about what you were saying.

“You did Michael! These past couple of weeks I’ve barely been able to see you. You won’t talk to me, we don’t communicate anymore”.

You said, screaming. Any care you had of anyone around you hearing you scream at Michael seemed to become nonexistent. Tears fully streamed down your face now - a mix of anger and sadness. Your fingers gripped the table, turning white. You didn’t even flinch when Michael slammed a peice of paper onto the table.

“Is this what you think of me? Is this how low you think of me now? I’ve been beyond busy making plans not just for me but for us, to wipe out the human race and create a clean slate where we can create any kind of world we wish. But.. Instead.. you think I’m out fucking other girls”? Michael spoke harshly, continuing to stare into your eyes.

You sniffled, and tried to pull yourself together before you spoke again and gave a weak smile. You knew your accusation of him cheating was hollow, there really was no proof of him doing so. It was just a product of you being stressed and paranoid. The smile you gave him wasn’t really whole hearted, admittedly but you were done screaming and fighting.

The most important thing was that you had him back, and that the bombs were still due to go off most likely.

“I’m so sorry I said that Michael. I was just emotional. I didn’t mean that, I promise.. but.. today’s.. the day-“

You spoke slowly, not wanting to admit what today’s big event actually was but Michael cut you off anyway.

“You really think I wouldn’t cancel today’s event, Angel? I managed to postpone it. The cooperative wasn’t happy but I needed to see you. This whole thing isn’t worth it if your not by my side”.

You furrowed your eyebrows together, did Michael not get the point of your letter? You didn’t leave just for him to continue on with his plans. The idea was sweet but you didn’t exactly understand his motive and that made you uncomfterable.

You shifted and opened your mouth to speak when your eardrums nearly shattered with the loud noise that seemed to suddenly fill the air. It was fucking sirens. What the fuck??

You didn’t know what to do. You felt adrenaline start to course through your veins and you could only scream,

“What the fuck Michael”?!

You don’t know what scared you more, the sirens or the look on Michaels face. He looked horrified. He leaped out of the metal chair so swiftly you barely even saw him get up, his mouth was open - like he wanted to say something.

You stood up too, nearly shouting at him so that he could hear you through the sirens.

“Michael? ...

Michael?! ..

MICHAEL”!

Finally he seemed to snap out of it and realize you were still there, in front of him. You could see he was breathing hard, he was starting to panic. He came up to you and quickly embraced you.. it was as if he could almost smell your fear.

“Look, there’s nothing to worry about. It was probably just a miscommunication error, I just need to call-“

Michaels voice stayed smooth and steady as he talked but you knew him. You knew by the look in his eyes, the way he was holding onto you (he rarely EVER got clingy) that he was scared as hell.

You also knew you two didn’t have a lot of time. You knew how the nuclear attack was designed that after the alarms went off there would only be a couple minutes before the actual bombs released. You cut him off and started talking.

“-No, Michael. We don’t have time”. You said, your voice cracking. Another tear slid down your cheek as you kissed Michael with more passion than you probably ever had in your history of dating men.

You felt as if your body was on fire with the knowledge of what your future held, as you heard screams and chaos from every angle around you two.

You couldn’t help but selfishly think that atleast you had Michael and that you wouldn’t be alone now.

Taglist: @mina672 @9layerdevilsfoodcake @michaellangdonstanaccount @guiltyfiend @jimmason @langdonsexual

[dojunie]

MISDIAL; LJN [CH2 TRAILER] CALL ME, BEEP ME

[★]; YOU'VE ALL HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE. The brothers best friend, the little sister, the googly, starry-eyed crush for the one guy she can never have. In the movies, her years of emotional turmoil are always rewarded with the romance to end all romances— spur of the moment declarations of love, whirlwind 'i've loved you all along's... but for you, your crush on Lee Jeno more or less fizzled out like the aftershocks of a seltzer in milk. When you don't talk to someone for a few years that's bound to happen, you guess; it only makes sense that those feelings dissipated into nothing but an embarrassing memory the moment you grew up a little. But old habits apparently die pretty damn hard. And as you're about to learn, one accidental misdial is going to remind you just how long a first love can last.

[MISDIAL MASTERLIST][PART 1][PART 2]

info; lee jeno x fem!reader, college au, slight slow burn, chaptered (more info in misdial masterlist!)

warnings; none for this trailer! // trailer wc; 1.6K

[a/n: ty for waiting so long for ch2!!! i'll be posting ch2 fully as soon as im done editing, which should take no longer than a few days :-0 to make sure you dont miss it, if you haven't already, comment on this post for taglist~

.

.

.

YOU ATTEMPT TO RETURN TO THE BLISSFUL, JENO-LESS EXISTENCE YOU LED BEFORE THE NIGHT OF OF YOUR LITTLE ADVENTURE. IT DOESN'T WORK.

Because your life apparently wasn’t hard enough, three and half weeks into the semester— around the time when everyone on campus should be settling into routine, not finding new surprises— you now see Lee Jeno around every corner of SNU.

(Figuratively and quite literally, if you’re counting a few days ago when he almost ran you over in Starbucks. His face had been buried in some schematic workbook as he wandered around one of the booths and, thankfully, he’d been too engrossed in the pages to do anything but stare when you yelped in surprise; and the moment of confusion had been just long enough for you to turn on your heel and dash out of that place. Why’d you run? You have no idea. Overkill? Probably. But when you think about what would have happened if you didn’t dip— some horrifying manner of small talk, no doubt— you’d choose to look like a crazy person a million more times if you had to.)

Places he hadn’t been before, Jeno now appears. He’s ahead of you in line in the cafeteria, playing games on his phone.

He’s in the campus quad, basketball under his arm, face alight with sweat as he laughs at something one of his teammates says. 

Lee Jeno is in the library, trying and failing to catch the sour jellies Donghyuck is launching into the air via pencil-rubber band catapult. (And Lee Jeno is in your head for hours after they get kicked out, dumb croaky laugh floating around in your thoughts no matter how loudly you crank the volume of your headphones.)

He’s everywhere. Everywhere. A cruel joke played unto you by the heavens. And until today, it was your only mercy that the one place he suddenly didn’t seem to frequent, was the apartment in which you unfortunately lived. 

When you got home, you’d been distracted. Too distracted to properly vet for any Lee Jeno-shaped figures the moment you opened the door. Outfit planning when Jeon Somi is involved is always a harrowing, full body experience, so your eyes (and unfortunately, attention) are elsewhere when you lock the door behind you and toss your keys on the kitchen island. You stop dead in the middle of the foyer to respond to the group chat, fingers flying across the screen in an attempt to veto all of her insane suggestions before they can truly take shape— Matching pink tube-tops?— so you don’t look up to see who’s in the living room.

“Rockstar!” a voice calls out.

Jaemin. Expected, because you’re pretty sure he’s here more often than his own home. His sing-songy voice is intermingled with video game sounds and Donghyuck’s curses.

Only two of them being around is rare, on oddity with the amount of them that have free time at this hour, but you're too busy frowning at your phone to think too hard about that.

[Somi Brat, 5:47PM]: IF NOT PINK TUBE TOPS THEN WHAT, BITCH????? DID YOU NOT HEAR ME WHEN I SAID SEONGWHA WAS GOING TO BE THERE

[You, 5:47PM]: wtf do you mean then what [You, 5:47PM]: literally anything else you psycho it’s a frat party not the met

“How many times have I told you to stop calling me that, Na?”

“Oh, maybe a thousand,” he says innocently. “And I told you that I’ll drop it when you come up with something better. Rockstar has so much history. How old were you when I started calling you that, huh? Five? Six?”

You grunt in disapproval. “Try fourteen.”

[LIALOMLPERFECTANGEL, 5:47PM]: They would not let you into the Met in a tube top&lt;3

[Somi Brat, 5:47PM]: I NEED TO STAND OUT THIS IS THE FIRST REAL EVENT OF THE YEAR [Somi Brat, 5:49PM]: AND ITS NOT A FRAT PARTY, ITS A BIRTHDAY THING, ITS WAY DIFFERENT [Somi Brat, 5:48PM]: ALL YOU DO IS WEAR YOUR DUMB LEATHER JACKET AND CALL IT AN OUTFIT [Somi Brat, 5:48PM]: BE SEXY WITH ME FOR ONE NIGHT! IT WILL NOT KILL YOU!!!!

[You, 5:48PM]: No

[LIALOMLPERFECTANGEL, 5:48PM]: But she looks hot in that leather jacket ;3c

[Somi Brat, 5:49PM]: YKW? IM COMNG TO GET YOU [Somi Brat, 5:49PM]: IM GOING TO MAKE YOU AN OUTFIT. YOU OWE ME. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU'RE COMING TO MY HOUSE

[chaeyoung beloved, 5:50PM]: wait hold on. why do WE have to match for YOU to get laid?

[Ryubear, 5:50PM]: Are you trying to tell us that Seongwha wants to fuck a quadruplet?

[chaeyoung beloved, 5:50PM]: 💀

“I’ll think about it,” Jaemin simpers, which he always says when you scold him for that blasted nickname, so that really means that he’ll be doing no such thing. “Anyway! We’re going to eat out a little later, do you want to come? Hyuck was thinking hotpot but if Renjun finds out we had hotpot without him he’ll throw a fit, so you could be our tie-breaker. Other option is burgers.”

“Renjun getting angry is half the fun,” Donghyuck cuts in absentmindedly. “It’s cute when his face gets all pink and pouty— Damn it, piece of shit Mcree! Stupid fucking—”

Hotpot…? Hotpot. You’re only half listening to them.

You just hum in response, too preoccupied with trying to read the onslaught of texts the group chat is receiving; and to add to the distraction, Somi doesn’t seem to be bluffing about coming to get you earlier than previously planned. Which means she’s actually on her way here— and you’re not ready at all.

“I’m not going to be home tonight, Jaem. Actually, I’m probably gonna be out of here in the next ten minutes. Sorry.” With Somi behind the wheel, it actually might be closer to five. “But my vote would’ve been burgers.”

“Traitor,” Donghyuck whines. 

Your phone finally stops vibrating with notifications and you begin to drift towards your bedroom. You guess you should be counting your lucky stars that Mark’s not here, honestly, because with the grilling he’d be subjecting you to right now there’s no way you’d be able to pack in time.

‘Leaving?’ he’d ask. ‘What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?’

No answer would suffice. You could say you were headed to Rome to get blessed by the Vatican himself, and he’d still ask how well you knew the guy.

Did you at least check the traffic report?

How are you getting there?

Want me to drop you off? What about pick you up?

Don’t take Yeoksam, I heard that road was slow earlier.

Take a jacket. Did you check the forecast? What if it rains?

“Thunderstorms tonight.” 

…Wait. That last one didn’t come from you. Mark’s nagging voice is almost comically high in your head, and that tone you’d just heard was so gruff that it was closer to bass than anything else— which meant it didn’t come from Jaemin or Donghyuck either. You spin around so fast that you almost slip on the hardwood.

Five pairs of eyes are staring back at you when you whip your gaze towards the living room. 

“It’s supposed to storm tonight,” Jeno repeats. 

He must take your stunned silence as disbelief, because he even reaches into his pocket to find his phone and dutifully check the weather. You stare at him as though he’s just materialized into your home, deer in headlights. “Pretty late, near midnight.”

“Oh, yeah,” Jaemin adds. “I heard it was going to be pretty nasty, actually. Where are you headed? You’re not going to be out in that, right?”

Jeno tilts his head back to look at you when you don't respond, and you look away after what feels like a second too long.

Suddenly you feel like you’ve been plugged into an electrical outlet; thoughts stumbling, overly aware of what you’re wearing, what your hair must look like after walking home through the blazing wind. “No… Uh, no. No, a friend is picking me up. I’m not driving.” 

Chenle snickers. “Way to dodge the question,” he says snootily.

“And way to not mind your business,” you mutter back, expression instantly souring. “What, you don’t have any school children to dunk on right now, Lele?”

You stick your tongue out at him reflexively when he turns all the way around in his seat to glare at you. “Will you shut up about that? It was one kid. And my business? Your whereabouts are my business, fool, because if you die in some freak rain accident Mark will skin all of us alive for not at least asking you where you were going. So sue me for trying to self-preserve—” 

Jisung smacks him. 

He almost takes Chenle’s shoulder off with how hard he swings, tweety-bird pout taking up half his face as the other boy yelps. The attack surprises you as much as it does him. “Hey! Don’t say things like that! Haven’t you heard of manifestation!?”

“Manifestation?” Chenle repeats, eyes wide. “Since when do you know words that big?”

“Mark told me about it! He was telling me during dance practice today—”

“And so because he said it, it must be true? Do you believe in fortune cookies too, Jisung? Or do you only pretend to be stupid when Mark is around?”

Jisung’s ears go pink and he leaps onto Chenle, but the older boy is ready for him. The living room descends into the squabbling you’ve become so accustomed to in these last few weeks, and the moment Jaemin’s attention is no longer on you— “Don’t fight, children, don’t fight!”— you take the chance to escape. There are eyes on your back when you snatch your bag up from the ground (whose, you’re not quite sure, although you know who you hope it’s not) and you shut your bedroom door just in time to see a text from Somi’s come to life on your still-cracked screen.

God. You can’t catch a break.

[Somi Brat, 5:57PM]: TWO MINUTES AWAY, LOVERGIRL [Somi Brat, 5:57PM]: I HOPE YOU’RE READY, BECAUSE TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE ONE FOR THE RECORDS 😈

You stare at this text for much longer than is probably sane, lungs tingling in your chest when you realize you're holding your breath— and for some ominous reason, you have a feeling that she's not going to be wrong.

[♥︎]: and there it is, folks! please leave a like if you enjoyed! ch2 will be posted soon, and if you read this first from the tags or something and liked it, check out chapter one ;-P

[blackbabybird]

Forgiven - Chapter 4 - An Event 

warnings: self hating bruce mostly and bad words. this is a long ass chapter, #sorrynotsorry kind of got carried away. however, we learn new things more and more everyday ;) also i think isley’s job fits her and bruce v v v well. enjoy:)

I get those goosebumps every time, yeah, you come around, yeah You ease my mind, you make everything feel fine

~ Goosebumps by Travis Scott

I parked my car in front of Cork County Middle School. The school itself was a large brick building in the middle of a corn field. It used to be an insane asylum. I grab my bag and get out of my car to head toward the doors of the school. Once I get up there, I pull on the door. It’s locked. I look at the wall near the doors, they have an extremely fancy security system. I buzz the door. 

“Hi there! What can we do for you?” a happy voice rings through the intercom.

“Uh, my name is Isley Thomas. I have an appointment with Headmaster-,” I look down at my phone, “Guille.”

“Give me one second, dear. I’ll get those doors open for you,” her sickly sweet voice came through again. 

A second later the massive doors swing open. I’m greeted by two men in riot gear. “Any weapons must be surrendered before entry into property. This includes, but is it not limited to guns, tazers, pens, and ninja-stars.” speaks the large guards. 

“Pens?” I ask. 

The other guard nods curtly. I shake my head and grab all my pens out of my bag. They take them and put them tightly in between their bullet proof vests. “Follow us.”

What the hell is this place? I walk silently in between the two. We arrive at large double doors with a Medusa head engraved into the doors. The two walk around me and open the doors synchronously. I walk through them towards what looks like the office. That same god-awful sweet voice rings through the hallways, “You must be Ms. Thomas! You’re shorter than I expected. Hm, anyways, follow me.” 

So I do. “I never caught your name, Ms...?” 

“You needn’t worry about me, sugar. Names get in the way. I’m simply the next vessel for Headmaster Guille. Oh, we’re here! Knock twice then let yourself in, alrighty?”

I nod quickly and do as she said. The room I walk into is white and pristine. Nothing, and I mean nothing is out of place. There’s just a desk and two chairs in the room. No computer or even a cup of coffee, weird. “Please, sit Ms. Thomas.” says a voice from my left. 

I sit down in on the chair across from the desk. Slow, loud clacking walks pass me. A woman sits in front of me. She has on black classic pumps, a pencil skirt and a white blouse. I finally make my eyes to hers and that’s when everything starts clicking into place. Her eyes are gouged out in an attempt to recreate Oedipus. “I am headmaster Guille, Ms. Thomas.”

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me Headmaster. I know you have plenty of other more pressing things to do.”

She turns her head, “Why, my dear, nothing is more important than finding one of my sweet, obedient students.” I nod in agreeance despite my weird feeling towards her and this place. “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”

“Well, I’m the owner of IT Investigative Services. We do freelance investigative work and are outsourced for police work occasionally.” I explain. 

“And your business here, is it freelance?” 

I feel my heart dip in a weird way, “No ma’am. The Cork County Police Department needed help and they outsourced me and my company to help with a missing persons case.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. 

“I see.” she says. Her non-existent eyes felts like they were boring into my soul and making a home. “Well, I will say that we told the police everything, not sure what else I could say.”

“Anything helps. Especially when it comes to a missing child,” I say. 

“Ask away,” she says splaying her hands outward. 

I start asking the basic questions. Just small things I could compare to the recordings that I borrowed from the Cork County Police. Everything was going relatively fine until I seemed to strike a nerve. “So, I noticed that Amos actually lived in Andan County. That’s a 3 hour drive to Cork County. Why was Amos going to school here?”

She opened her mouth a few times with replies, but she eventually settled on, “Amos was a special boy. As are most of the students that attend here. However, he needed correcting. As do all of the students here,” she gives a tightlipped smile.

Now we’re getting somewhere. “Why did he need correcting? Did he do something bad?” I ask simply. 

“As with most 13 year olds, he was ill-mannered and bad tempered. He had to be corrected,” she repeats.

“Fair enough,” I nod. Time to go for the kill.“Yet, there is one more thing I’m confused with. Amos was an orphan. One that lived 3 hours away from this county, so who told you he was being a nuisance?” 

If this woman had eyes, I know she’d have a look that could kill. Her eye sockets bend slightly. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Ms. Thomas. We have an assembly soon that I must attend.” 

“Of course, Headmaster.” I say as I start packing up my stuff. I walk to the door, feeling her cavernous holes in my back. I go to pull the door open, but then I stop. “One last question,” I say. She looks up at me, “Who reported him missing?”

Bingo. Question answered.

The smile she gave was cruel and mouthy, “Some questions needn’t be answered. Have a good day, Isley.”

I walk out the door and head back to my car. 

/// 

When I arrived back at my car after successfully getting my pens back, I scrutinized the building. Being in there fucked with my mental state. Something was off about the place and I wanted to know more. My phone starts buzzing. It’s Phoebe so I click answer.

“You bitch! I can’t believe you,” Phoebe’s voice screeches through my receiver. 

“That’s one way to talk to your boss,” I deadpan.

“Boss or not, you’re literally the worst person I know.”

I scrunch my nose at her insult, “Let’s say hypothetically that is true, what exactly did I do to deserve such a title?” 

“Beside be a size 10 in shoes when I’m an 8?” I roll my eyes, “You also never mentioned that THE Bruce fucking Wayne of Wayne Corporation invited us to a fundraiser in Gotham City.” 

I sit there listening to her, “How’d you know about that?”

“I was going through your emails and there’s an invite. Also, pause, you knew?” she huffs.

I shrug even though she can’t see me, “It’s just a Wayne Event. It’s not a big deal. I didn’t even know it was a fundraiser.”

“Yeah, he’s going to try and get the Gotham socialites and old heads to give money for a-,” she stops talking and there’s some slight shuffling in the backgorund, “Ah! A metahuman trafficking recovery center. It would be an extension of Arkham Asylum.”

I feel my heartbeat get 10 times louder, “Pheebs, I need to call you later. I’m still here at Cork County Middle and I need to finish some paper work before I drive back tonight.”

I don’t wait for her to say goodbye before I hang up. I start dialing Bruce’s number. 

///

One. Two. One. Two. Jab. Hook, hook.

“God fucking damnit,” Jason exclaims. 

“The fight not going well?” I ask.

“Bruce. Manny Herechio has to win tonight.” Jason starts.

“Has?” I interject. 

He rambles over me, “HAS. I have so much money on this fight. Like, my future children’s money kind of money!”

I shoot him an amused look from my book. “I’m sure he’ll pull it out. Underdogs have a weird way of doing that.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD. HE DID IT! HE FUCKING DID IT MAN,” Jason shakes me. 

I smile at him, happy that he’s happy, but then the scene changes. I’m now Batman and I’m holding Jason. He’s barely breathing and there’s so much blood. “You did this. You did this to me.” He breathes out angrily. 

“Jay, what? No, I didn’t! What do you mean?” I explain.

“You, the fucking Batman of all people, should have saved me. I’m dead because of you!” He’s now yelling at me. 

I feel the panic flutter throughout me. I should’ve saved him. It should’ve been me. 

The clatter of my phone hitting the floor shakes me out of my daydream hard. Less of a dream, more like a nightmare. The phone goes off again and I grab it from the floor. Isley Thomas flashes across the screen. I press accept. 

“Isley? Hello?” 

“Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” she seethes through the phone. 

I pull it away from me. “I can’t catch a fucking break today,” I grunt out. I put the phone back near my ear, “It’s possible I have, but depends on what this reason is,” I joke. 

“This event, party you’re throwing is for the business proposal that was between us privately. What the hell, Bruce?” 

I can tell she’s upset at what I tried to make a surprise. “It was supposed to be a surprise.” 

“A fucking surprise? For why?” she all but yells into the receiver. 

“I presented it to the board,” I didn’t. “And they didn’t like the idea of Wayne Enterprises being the face of metahuman trafficking support centers,” I explain. “Having a fundraiser will show that people, specifically people with money, are interested in defeating the metahuman trafficking.”

I can hear her breathing. “You could’ve just told me that the board rejected it,” she pauses, “I would’ve dealt with it.”

She’s not incorrect. However, I needed a win for today, “You told me that this was Staya’s dream. I just wanted to do everything I could to try and make it come true.”

She doesn’t reply anything. For a second there I think that she’s just hung up on me. “Okay. Next time, let me know ahead of time, please, Bruce,” is all she says. Then she adds, “I have to work. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

I hear the click of call ending and put the phone down. I bury my face in my hands. I walk to my door and walk to Sonya’s desk. She looks at me with a smile, “Mr. Wayne! What can I do for you?”

“Sonya, I’ll be unavailable for the rest of the day. See that the fundraiser details get figured out. I want to no hiccups, understood?” She nods, typing furiously. I continue, “Perfect. Thank you.”

I walk to the elevator and press floor one. I lay against wall in sheer exhaustion. Between my guilt from Jason and my repressed feelings about Isley, I needed to punch something. 

/// 

I took another sip of my coffee and continued typing on my computer. I was trying to find information about Cork County. “With the way you’re hunch over your computer, we’ll have to get massages before heading to Gotham,” Phoebe said pointedly. 

I roll my eyes, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Fair enough. Enough investigating today boss lady. If we want to make it to Gotham in a decent hour and avoid traffic, we need to go,” Phoebe insists as she shuts my computer. 

“I made us a reservation at some fancy hotel. It offered nails too, what a deal. And, ooh, our dresses were delivered!”

“I thought we were going dress shopping today?” I say scrunching my nose at the implication of Phoebe picking out a dress for me. 

“Oh no you don’t. We were yesterday at 4, but someone,” she squints at me, “was a bit forgetful.”

I inhale, “Okay, that’s my bad. I’m sorry, this case just keeps making new turns every second. I feel like I’m drowning.”

“Well, tonight, no missing children to worry about.” 

I nod and smile at her. If only it was that easy. 

///

“Master Bruce, people will be arriving in less than 30 minutes, what on Earth are you doing?” I heard Alfred call for me while I was in the Batcave. 

I kicked the bag again. Focus. I kick again. 

“Master Bruce?” I hear Alfred again. I shake my head. Focus, Bruce. I kick the bag again. The chain breaks and bag flies across the room. 

“That is the 8th bag you’ve broken this week, Master Bruce.”

I exhale deeply. “It’s unimportant.”

“Perhaps to the ghosts of this cave, but not you. Never mind all that. You must shower and get dressed immediately,” Alfred says pushing me quickly towards the stairs.

“Can I at least take the elevator if speed is what we’re going for?” I grumble. 

“That privilege was lost once you made me trundle down those godforsaken steps and come get you!” I trudge up the stairs his insistent demands. 

When we arrive at the top, “Mr. Maurice, sorry to keep you waiting, Master Bruce is insolent when it comes to other’s time and efforts,”

I shoot Alfred a dirty look at his insults. He simply flicks his hand and I’m being taken by the tailor. Who starts showing me different fabrics and colors for tonight’s event. “What do you feel tonight Mr. Wayne? Navy or Black? I have grey also, but it has not been a fan favorite for the year.” Maurice explains quickly. 

I look at the colors. The black always speaks to me, but tonight was different. Because Isley will be there. I ignore my thoughts, “Let’s take a walk on the wild side, shall we?” 

“My thoughts exactly, Mr. Wayne!” 

I go to hop into the shower and prepare myself for tonight. 

///

I can hear the people downstairs. Drinks are flowing and soon enough the cash will be too. I hear my door open. “Only man I’ve ever known to be fashionably late at his own home.” It’s Dick. “Also, I don’t know what the fuck those little sausage balls are made with, but they are delicious. Woah-”

I turn and look at him, his mouth is wide open with the same bits sausage hanging in his mouth, “What? Also, please close your mouth.”

“This suit...who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” Dick jokes.

I just grunt and turn back around fixing my tie. I hear Dick’s laughter stop, “Okay, I’m sorry, here let me help with your tie. It’s more crooked than Cobblepot’s teeth.”

He fixes my tie and I can’t help but think about Jason. Dick searches my face, “You been thinking about him?”

I turn back to look in the mirror to inspect the knot he made. It answers his question. I know he wants to say something, he just doesn’t know what. No one ever does. “Master Bruce, Mr. Grayson.” Alfred’s voice turns us both around. “Almost all the guest are here. It is time to make an appearance.”

“Well, thank god I didn’t throw the party. I’m gonna find some pretty ladies and some more of the sausage balls.” Dick chippers happily and leaves this room. 

Alfred turns to do the same, but not before saying, “Mr. Todd is a great man. Just because you’re choosing to move on, doesn’t mean you’re forgetting him.”

“Don’t you mean was?” I ask.

“No. I meant is. What’s that saying you always tell the board members when you’re not present? Oh, yes, physicality is not the only way to be present.” With that Alfred mules out of the room.

I follow after him. I make it down the stairs, “Man of the hour. Mr. Bruce Wayne.” I hear some rich old guy yell at me. He grabs my hand and shakes it furiously. 

I do this for about an hour before I clink my glass and everyone quiets down. “I want to thank you all for being here,” I start, “Tonight was a bit last minute, but I am so glad to have the ability to host such things that bring us together. Tonight is about us expanding Arkham Asylum to host those affected by metahuman trafficking. Donations, as always, are tax deductable and can be written to the Wayne Corporation. Again, we are going to make a difference.” I raise my glass and every one claps. “But please, keep enjoying the booze, gives me an excuse to buy more!” I add with laughter. 

I make my way through the crowd towards one of the balconies. There’s just a woman out there. “What a speech,” she says as she comes out the shadows. 

It’s Isley, but she looked...beautiful didn’t even begin to describe it. Her hair is  straight rather than its usually curls. She has on a silk baby blue dress that ends at her mid thigh. Her dark eyes are blown wide with the chill air and small goosebumps litter her dark brown skin. “Isley,” I breathe out, “Thought you bailed on me.”

She turns her head like a curious cat, “Me? A flake? Never.” she says with fake ingenuity. “Although, I was very late. Phoebe loves to take her time with me.”

My eyes scan her face, “Well, she did an amazing job.” I compliment.

A smile grows on her face, “Why thank you, Mr. Wayne. You clean up nicely yourself. A navy blue suit? How daring.”

“Dick already made fun of me for it, I thought it was time to step out a bit.” 

She steps close enough to grab one of the lapels. “Dick? Also, it reminds me of prom. Senior year,” she whispers. 

I grab her wrists, we’re extremely close now. “Well, look who I found hiding in the shado- oh?” 

It’s Dick, again. I breathe out slowly, “Dick, meet an old friend. Isley Thomas.”

[weaselbeaselpants]

The virgin Hazbin vs. The Chad Helluva

((hey is the “virgin vs. CHAD” meme associated with alt right or anything iffy guys I’m kinda worried it is. PM me please))

This is long. Also read my earlier post for context.

Earlier this month I was chatting it up with a friend about how Viv gets heat for her material stuff while other purposefully “edgy” or “problematic” writers get a pass. The convo made me realize another important note about why I prefer Helluva to Hazbin and that’s it’s approach to it’s own themes and humor:

There’s a spectrum of pure shock/schlock humor to biting, meaningful satire. South Park, Drawn Together, Panty and Stocking and anything by Brandon Rogers is on the schlock end. Bojack Horseman, King of the Hill and Aggretsuko are on the black-comedy-satire end. In the middle are Rick and Morty, Kill la Kill and Venture Bros, where the humor can be either basic and cruel or strive for something more.

The schlockiest of schlock still have their followings who are in on humor that’s, first and foremost, out to get under your skin and even makes fun of them. When these works are “progressive” it’s usually just through sheer representation of a minority, and if they DO strive for a message, it’s little more than a much needed hot-take pointing out how stupid something is. South Park in it’s prime was ESPECIALLY good at the former.

Another interesting about these properties? The characters aren’t really that complex. They ARE strawmen! They are stereotypes! They ARE awful people. But either through the sheer audacity of the situation or how much the plot involves them, you somehow end up caring for these miserable, one-note people.

Viv’s humor fares more on this basic “schlockynottooseriousparody/comedy”-side of things, but Helluva Boss does this better than Hazbin.

Helluva Boss -both the actual pilot and it’s promotional material- doesn’t make any promises for any “deeper” character development. None of these demons at I.M.P are good people. None of them are SUPPOSED to be good people - they are literally demons who were never human and know nothing but absolute sin. 

((yes, I know this sounds similar to the “they’re in hell” non-argument. My point is not that this defense is foolproof, but that it works better in the context of Helluva vs. Hazbin. It’s a world building quirk, even though I’m not 100% sure Viv and her audience are in on the joke))

It makes their weird bits of NOTawfulness more funny because what business do they have being polite about their work or having any emotional connection to each other(Moxxie and Millie)? But they do! Blitzo is weird, even for a demon, but again he IS ONE, so his breaking into his coworkers house is just “annoying” to Moxxie and Millie rather than, you know, stalking which is absolutely what that is <--- it’s a bit of comedy that, to me, tells you what you need to know about these demons and what somehow is and isn’t good to them, which is to say: it varies!

((The one MASSIVE exception to this is Stolas who is 100% predatory and it’s played for laughs. Beejesus no. Get  owl boy out here. ))

Different series use their mythical creatures to different affect. In Satina the joke is that this demon-antichrist really is more of a little girl with a looser dad w. the version of hell being a send up to classic, even basic depictions of demons in media. Helluva’s different, with the Hell in that world being more of a ritzy, scummy city where everyone’s a dick to everyone else, and that’s fine. Even the joke in the beginning where the imps interview one of their clients tells you all you need to know about why this guy is in Hell, how he doesn’t get the point, and what the humor and tone of the short is striving for. I guess that’s why I’m just not offended by them using the R word, Blitzo laughing at the homeless (which is more of a joke on Blitzo, I thought), or the child murder. It felt oddly in character for these awful little creatures.

Helluva knows what it is and what it wants to be. While it’s fans and creators still take it too seriously, it really doesn’t set out to do much.

Hazbin has 99 problems and good world-building aint one. What IS one of those 99 problems - just as if not more than the lackluster storytelling or world building - is it’s attitude towards the subject matter.

Hazbin wants to have it’s cake and eat it too, but it isn’t properly established and the creators/fanbase already overemphasis how our cast ‘isn’t ALL bad; deep down’ and how they’re ‘complicated’. It gets me mad when people claim Angel IS GOOD representation because I just ‘don’t know the whole story yet’.

-You’re right! I don’t. Stop building it up because as I’ve said before what we have at the moment is what we 100% get. I can’t criticize what I don’t know but I can criticize what I do know.

And what I know about it is Viv tends to promote her brand as being representive of LGBT+ people. Her fans and her act as though her works are actually a total net-positive ‘guyz we’re just being edgythey’reinhellandit’sapilotsoit’sfreefromcriticismanywayletswritefanfictionforaserieswedon’tactuallyknowyet.’

If Viv and her brand didn’t promo Hazbin as being deeper than it actually is/NEEDS TO BE at the time of this production in the storytelling - well THAT would axe a lot of the bad criticism right there. For all the discourse in the She-Ra and SU fandoms about what is and isn’t good representation, the showrunners of those cartoons don’t aim to stereotype + hit for the lowest common denominator while also insisting that their show is actually woke and ya’ll “just don’t get it.”

((As an aside, if you are any of the following: gay, crossdresser, sex worker, undead spider demon-whatever, and you DO find Angel Dust empowering. GREAT! AWESOME. MORE POWER TO YOU.

But just because you aren’t offended by it and it was made with good intentions does NOT give it a pass < that’s the point I’m trying to make. ftm even with the explaination of the infamous ‘Charcoal’ design in SU, black people still have the right to be offended))

Remember the episode of Family Guy where Quagmire’s dad transitioned? It was Family Guy so no matter what it was gonna fumble the message, BUT what made things 100000x worse was Seth McFarlane promoting the episode as something the Trans community would really like.

It’s one thing to be ignorant or trying -and failing- to make a difference. It’s another to be arrogant about it. 

If you are gonna go all schlock-humor I think it’s best to take the lead of Bltzo’s voice actor, Brandon Rogers. He makes A LOT of sacrifices for the most insanely-purposefully-offensive jokes that straddle between making fun of everyone or just rustlin some jimmies. Dude’s the modern John Waters.

He also doesn’t promote himself as a gay icon. He just is gay and what helps a lot of his characters is that he’s often making fun of gay stereotypes by giving them character or making homophobes the butt of the joke. Brandon doesn’t act like a net-positive. It’s when you hear him in interviews that you know he’s genuine and know he’s not a threat.

And it’s why I don’t have the same expectations I have for his work that I do for Vivs; Vivs works are often telling me how I should feel. ((ftm it’s also why Brandon’s approach to writing, comedy and potentially deeper elements are better than Doug Walker’s or Sam Fennah’s attempts to make awful people “moving”))

.....hey is there anyway we could give Viv’s shows to Brandon cause I would love a Brandon-Rogers-flavored Hazbin/permanent Helluva!

---

TL:DR: If Hazbin had established itself like Helluva with it’s cast just being unlikable, nothing else you needed to know about them, it could have then PROBABLY have worked it’s way up to being like Venture Bros or Rick and Morty in it’s activism. As is, it’ still only “progressive” in a hypothetical sense, and I’m sorry but that hurts it’s credibility as a joke and a thought piece, which or whatever it wants to be...

[cherrybloomn]

Delicate - Chapter 2

Note: ok Chapter2 is here. Your opinion is always welcomed (criticism included!).

9th of Feb 2020

 

The week has gone by so fast. Naomi had a lot of work in the studio and in her charity. She also participated in three court hearings. As an owner of the charity helping victims of domestic violence, she was usually called by the court to testify. The last trial was scheduled on Friday morning. It was nasty. Naomi was attacked in the court by one of the witnesses, who was to testify in favor of the accused. Thankfully nothing has happened as the policemen reacted immediately. Once Naomi left the court, she was exhausted. Both physically and emotionally. She couldn’t wait to attend the party held by BBN, which was to take place in the evening. It was her favourite way of dealing with reality. Parties, good alcohol and sex, of course. She had a shag buddy - James, who actually believed to be her boyfriend. They were dating once or twice a week. Naomi has been honest with him about her intentions, still he had hopes that maybe one day the thing between them would become something more.

Once she got into a taxi, she heard her phone buzz.

UNKNOWN NUMBER: Hello Naomi, It’s Henry. I have just passed the BBN studio and I thought maybe you’d like to have a lunch with me in an hour or so? I have finally watched The Parasite! It would be wonderful to get the opportunity to talk with you about that. H”

It took Naomi a couple of seconds to realize who the person writing to her was. She looked at the clock, it was noon. On one hand she didn’t really feel like meeting anyone, she was just tired, and all she dreamt of was getting a nap before the evening. On the other hand though, she was hungry. Plus, she thought that maybe Henry could take part in the event she was organizing for children from her charity. There’s no better occasion to ask about that, than at a nice lunch.

N: Hey handsome. Lunch sounds perfect! Could you please pick a place to meet? I’m heading from the Central Criminal Court to my place to change, and then I’ll join you.

H: Lovely. Do you have any specific wishes about the cuisine?

N: Not really. But my top three are steaks, sushi and thai cuisine. I rely on you on that one. Just let me know where and I’ll do my best to get there as fast as possible.

H: Steak house that is! See you soon. Henry attached the address of the restaurant to his message.

Once Naomi got home, she quickly changed her elegant black Dior dress and high heel shoes to floral maxi dress, which she matched with black ankle boots and leather jacket. Isabel Marant vibe. She was a fashion addict. Naomi untied her hair, put up in an elegant bun before. She fixed her makeup, used her favourite perfume and hurried to the restaurant.

It took her fifteen minutes to get to the place. The hostess, led her to the table and took her coat. Henry was already waiting for her.

“Hello!” Naomi smiled and sat down in front him on the other side of the table. She noticed two bottles of water, one of which was empty. “I’m sorry, I hope you didn’t wait too long. It was really hard to get through the centre, though my Uber driver did what he could.”

“No, don’t worry about that! I took my time to make some calls. Today it’s my uncle’s birthday and my mother organizes a surprise party. Everything would be great if, as it turned out, uncle didn’t decide to make a trip today. So once my mother found out, she got very upset as she’s been organizing the party since last Tuesday. Now we’re trying to fix it and make uncle stay and visit us.” He chuckled and rose his eyebrow. “What about your day? Central Criminal Court in London. Sounds serious. You certainly don’t look like a criminal.”

Naomi looked him in the eyes and smirked “Well, don’t judge a book by its cover. Ted Bandy was very handsome and extremally charming, yet he was one of the scariest serial killers in the USA. So was Jeffery Dahmer.”

Henry propped himself up on his elbows, leant towards Naomi and said with a smile “If I weren’t that hungry I’d run away now. It’s hard to keep my wits about me being around such an attractive woman, who has just admitted, that she may secretly be a serial killer.”

Naomi leant towards him too and was to reply, but the waitress approached to take their orders. After the girl went away, Naomi remained silent for a few seconds, just looking at him with a sly smile. “You know what they say. No risk no fun.” She bit her lower lip and laughed softly, turning her gaze away from him. “No, but jokes aside. I run a charity. We help people suffering from domestic violence – mostly women and children, sometimes men. This is why my court visits are rather regular.”

Henry nodded. “That’s a very brave thing to do. It must be hard, isn’t it? I mean, to deal with all the suffering and cruelty. Doesn’t it affect your life?”

“Not as much as it has at the beginning. The world can be cruel, one just has to accept the fact and do whatever they can to make it a little bit better.”

They couldn’t stop chatting. They talked about her charity, about his preparation for a policeman role in a movie, of which Naomi has never heard before. He told her how hard it was for him to get through all the documentation about child abuse. “Nomis. I will certainly watch tomorrow.” She wrote the title in her phone. They talked about their favourite actors, movies, her silliest memories from drama school.

“Actually, I’ve always had huge imagination! And I’ve always loved Leonardo DiCaprio. I saw the Titanic when I was a kid. I had a friend – Caroline, she was under my spell. No doubt about that. I used to order her to play Leonardo. She was him and I was Kate. We played scenes from the movie. ALL of them. Yes, we did kiss each other. Tongues were involved! Of course, I did believe I kissed Leonardo. I remember my mum caught us kissing, and she was very worried what’s going on. After I told her that we’re just in our roles, she banned me from all the VHS other than Disney. Insane. Oh, but I’ve got even better story!”

Both of them shared lots of ridiculous stories from their childhood and teenage years. Naomi literally cried with laughter. When she excused herself for a moment to use the restroom, she realized it was 6 p.m. They spent there three hours. She couldn’t believe, it felt like half an hour.

“Henry, I’m so sorry. It’s very impolite, I know, but I have only realized it’s so late! I have to go. I need to prepare myself for the party. I have ten missed calls from my hairdresser.” She laughed and put her wallet out of her purse. “But I must tell you I had so much fun. I feel so much better now. Let me pay for the lunch, as a thank you.”

“Oh, no. No way! I invited you and there’s no way you pay for that. Plus, I had a wonderful time too. I hope you’ll have fun at the party. It’s a shame I can’t make it. Hopefully next time.”

“Well. Ok. Thank you!” Naomi put her wallet inside her bag, stood up, approached Henry and gave him a kiss on a cheek. “Hope you have a great fun too tonight! Bye!” Afterwards she hurried to get her coat, put it on. She realized she forgot to ask him about his contribution to her project. She quickly came back and waited until Henry paid for the meals. “Good timing, to arrive again after payment” she joked. “Henry, I forgot to ask you one thing! I’m going to organize the event for the kids from charity. Probably in March. We’re inviting different professionals to talk about their jobs – like a physician, a lawyer, a pianist, a journalist. Having an actor would be wonderful. Just to talk about your job. I’m sure kids will be excited. You don’t have to answer now of course. Think about it. Ok, now I’m really going. I wanted to make sure you pay, so that I won’t be called to the criminal court again! Bye!”

On her way home she realized, she had five unread messages from James, her (boy)friend, who apparently has been waiting for her in the café next to her apartment.

Once she opened her messenger to reply to James, she got a new text message.

H: That was quick I had no time to reply. Of course, I’d love to take part in this project. Just let me know when. Once again, thank you for the lunch!

***