#literally talk about one of the other dozens of characters in dr

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

i think if you're annoyed that something is getting talked about too much compared to something else you think is more important, it's valid to examine why ppl are talking about the first thing. and maybe the reason ppl talk about the first thing IS bad. like there's an implicit (or even explicit!) bias that makes ppl feel that the first thing is more important when a discussion about the second thing would bring more value. but even if you come to a conclusion on that i don't think the solution is ever to. make ppl stop talking about the first thing? i think the solution is to talk about the second thing yourself and encourage others to do the same. ideas and discussions are not a limited resource. people can think about two things at the same time.

[amonggtheestarss]

Hey Gang

This is gonna be a more unique post than what I usually do but uhm...

See this guy? Black from Rodamrix. I'm gonna talk about them, because they're such a decently portrayed character in my own personal opinion and I believe they deserve more attention than what the fandom gives them (which is like... none.)

With the power of having autism and unnecessarily psycho-analyzing the jellybeans, I see Black as a pretty well assertive character. They're VERY expressive, loud, and is often strongly opinionated on things. If they have something to say, they'll say it. If they want something, they'll do what they can to get it. A decent majority of scenes of Black is them with the >0 expression and I love that aboutthem.

And as I rewatched Rodamrix for like the 2000th time, I noticed one thing.

Remember when I said they were very strongly opinionated on things? This is the one and ONLY time (as of now) Black has ever hesitated to make a decision, which is between voting Yellow or Green out. And when I watched this scene a dozen times, it always confused me because this was so incredibly out of character for Black. Black has been siding with Green this whole time, but suddenly hesitates when forced to decide between Green or Yellow. But why?

Not sure if anyone truly took much notice to this scene, because I for sure didn't. I stupidly saw it as just a "Glitch.Y is trying his best but his best isn't good enough for the crewmates," and I had assumed Black would of shrugged it off as "Man this kid is insane as hell whatever" BUT I DID NOT NOTICE they actually turned around to see the box Glitch.Y was pointing at.

Glitch.Y saved Black's life and they acknowledged it. Their ass got saved by a literal child he saw as a freak. And this is the first time we see them with a face of Genuine Worry.

YOU NEVER SEE THEM WITH THIS SORT OF GENUINE EXPRESSION AGAIN. UNLESS I'M JUST REALLY BLIND. BUT THIS IS THE FIRST TIME BLACK EXPRESSES GENUINE WORRY AND IT'S FOR GLITCH.Y. They've sided with Green this whole time but then has realised that just this once, Green was wrong about something, which was Glitch.Y trying to kill them all. And Black Worried. For once they hesitated, and couldn't bring themself to make such a decision.

And that's just one thing about Black. Small detail, really. They had a moment of hesitation for the first time. Oh well. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL.

Green, who is the Skeld Leader goes missing, right? That was their LEADER. They are now without a leader. And who is the first to take initiative and act as next leader?

BLACK DOES.

Yellow tries to take the initiative first, but is torn when Dr White assumes Glitch.Y and Green already dead, so Black immediately takes the lead instead. Black becomes the new, temporary leader for the team when they go to look for Glitch.Y and Green.

They even stand at the front of the team, willing to go forth before them all which would put themself at the most risk. And this isn't arrogance either, they do it GENUINELY. They even waited for Yellow's word before they start walking. They even gave each other the nod to proceed.

And they do a pretty decent job at leading too. They take after Green pretty well, in my opinion.

Altogether, I just feel like Black is a well fleshed out character, especially for someone who's sidelined for the entirety of the series. Everyone talks about Tan, a lot talk about Lime, which both deserve the attention they get of course, but I feel like Black is the most fleshed out side-character in the entire series.

I appreciate how much effort Rodamrix puts into Black's personality. I do hope Cyan gets a bit of a character arc too though. I like to see Black as Cyan to be really close, especially since they share similar personality traits. I just hope the fandom comes to appreciate Black more for his character in the series.

Also, bonus Black Alternate content

(They were actually the last to die out of the Skeld team which I found interesting. Gives into the idea they could've potentially made it out alive had it not been a 2v1. The only reason they got stopped and killed was because Purple came in as they barely escaped Pink.)

(Fun fact, Black's role in the Skeld is actually guarding*, so it'd make sense they watched outside while the others worked to fix the dropship)

(I like how Green looks directly to Black here honestly, might be a part of why Black tends to take after them. Green gives them the their attention first KYEHEHE)

(bro looks like they're trying to intimidate Purple over actually trying to stop them BEHEHEHE)

(And here, they're the first one to say something upon seeing the France Squad (and Mini Yellow))

*From Rodamrix's Instagram, a reference of Black's role here

I hope you guys understand why I like Black as a character a lot now.

Black appreciation post done. Thanks for reading.

[women-of-malevolent]

I love reading your takes, especially as someone who was disillusioned mid-season 2. I've read synopsis and glanced at scripts out curiosity, but didn't really realize just how bad the podcast treated women.

What made me drop it in season 2 was how Faroe's death was revealed. Middle of a fight, Arthur loses his confidence and brings up Faroe. Not bc he misses her, not bc fighting for his life reminds him of her own struggle b4 she died. But because Arthur wants John to pat him on the back, reassure him, tell him he's good, hes reliable. Faroe's initial death reveal doesn't even focus on her. It focuses on Arthur and his self-confidence.

And after Arthur gets what he wants, it's dropped. They don't talk about her again for a while. How can one think it's good storytelling to bring up dead baby for like. 5 secongs. And then move on???? Something so horrific was brought up and dropped so nonchalantly it just blind sided me. And I remember thinking "this is how he's going to handle everything of this emotional magnitude" and stopped listening, for the most part.

Tl;Dr: boy howdy do I appreciate reading your analysis and takes and it's kind of reassuring knowing others feel this way too

Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoy and I very much enjoyed reading this too!!

In retrospect, great call seeing it there.... I used to zone out the fights, tbh, because obviously the main characters would be fine (like, there were dozens more episodes, they weren't going to die here lmao). So I was very low-context, let's say, when I zoned in for Arthur's tragic past backstory. I was moved both by the horrifying idea of brain fart-ing your kid dead by accident, and by John and Arthur opening up to each other more… I wasn't thinking about the deeply weird framing!!! But wtf!!!

It's so weird that the Faroe stuff comes out when it does. Mid-fight, right before they kill the gug monster that they've established is intelligent. Faroe has clearly been on Arthur's mind, and John has been poking Arthur about it. But he chooses to share right before dropping the stone?? And then kills it and the story moves on until John weaponizes it against Arthur later.

Faroe seems to be coming back or something, god help us, in Season 5. There's an opportunity for the story to do something interesting and cool with her. I thought, verbatim, the same thing about Hattie. Lmao. I thought the Arthur x Hattie parallel was obvious and was excited to see it explored in season 4. Instead we got a bunch of new dudes, and development for the old dudes, while Hattie got literally NOTHING BECAUSE SHE WAS OLD!!!! WTF!!! So yeah I don't have a whole lot of faith for it being good

[the-tropes-are-hungry]

I keep comparing COTL to Hades because that’s the only other roguelite I’ve played, and I’m super happy that these are my examples.

Tl;dr:

I’ve spent this whole week just

Hades has a great story and phenomenal voice acting, but there’s never too much to do around the House and the game quickly ushers you out for your next attempt. I end up bored because it’s the exact same 4 zones over and over in the same order every time, BUT I always have control of my weapon and ways to manipulate my boons (a little). The gameplay loop is spiced with story beats with dozens of characters.

Cotl is great in comparison because the base building is the primary focus. I can spend days in game just building and preaching, and the sanctuary even warns you against staying away too long on crusades. Most of the time the only reason I leave is because my people are running out of a resource (early game this was ALWAYS timber, now it’s food). Weapon randomization is annoying, but getting to choose my zone at the start is great for both progression and procrastination.

The drive in Hades is “can i reach the end this time?”

The drive in Cult is “how soon can I get back?”

And I wanna be extra clear I’m not making any comments about the roguelite genre, because my exposure is 2 games. I’m expressing my appreciation for 2 games that evoke different emotional responses just by using the length of each run and timers

For COTL specifically I am so charmed by both an evil Lamb who doesn’t want their power source to expire just so they can pick up one more chest of coins, the same as a good Lamb who is legitimately terrified of anyone in their care starving to death while they’re in Anura with a satchel full of seeds.

I contrast this with Zag, who is rebuilding the House because he’s literally the kindest gentleman in the underworld and isn’t getting anything out of talking to Eurydice or Patroclus beyond their company and good vibes, but (I, at least) prioritizes visiting them every time even before realizing they can mend broken bridges.

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

So we all know the theory that Gravity Falls, The Owl House and Amphibia take place in the same universe right?

its a pretty well know theory (even if you don't believe it) in all three fandoms but if you don't here's the gist of it:

so basically that theory is built off easter eggs, like willows dads having a book with Hop-Pops face on it

and references to the other shows like that entire Gravity Falls episode in Amphibia,

that imply that they’re taking place simultaneously, with gravity falls taking place in 2012 and TOH and amphibia taking place in 2019-2020 (without the covid the lucky bastards) with Camilla reading an article about a girl returning from a frog world in the season 2 finale of TOH

but that opens the door for a whole lot of inter-dimensional *shenanigans* and so many plot points i can and will argue reference and overlap with each other.

now theres the obvious similarities like how bills minions fit the description of beast demons from the owl house:

(ignore the circling its not my screenshot I found it on google)

and bill himself is on one of kings posters when he tries to teach Luz about demons:

Bill is also in the book that tells marcy about the calamity box:

a book I believe was written by ford since the cover says its by "Dr. P" (P-ines anyone?) and has eyes that look awfully familiar, which I think are a reference to either the cores eyes, the portal doors eye from toh, or Bills eye (and the fact that this eye symbol is so similar across shows feeds the theory that they're all in the same universe)

meaning the Bill is a semi-universal character/figure throughout the different realms

if the other realms (Bill's realm, the several Ford got trapped in, the Boiling Isles, and Amphibia) have access to each other, and Bill is as universal as he seems, he probably interacted with some citizens of those realms, and probably left a mark

now it's finally time for my personal take/add-in:

we never get an origin for the core 

or the newts relation to the core

we get an episode about Andrias's personal history and his individual relation to the core, and how he came to be the guy who manipulated and then stabbed a very vulnerable teenage girl, but it seems like the core has just been with the Leviathan lineage since at least before Andrias's dad (who's over a thousand years old since thats how old the flashback is)

so, what am I rambling about?

well, if bill, a dream demon, made his way to amphibia, the core might have been the newts attempt to artificially replicate his powers

NOW HEAR ME OUT: on top of being incredibly powerful once he’s released in gravity falls

he also has the power to go into other peoples minds and search their memories like he does to Stan in his very introduction

which is an awful lot like what the core tries to do, since Andrias says the core is the hive mind of a dozen of the greatest newt minds and when Darcy happens it has complete access to her memories

not to mention how when it talks to andrias what physically appears when it talks are it’s eyes, which is what changes on dipper and Blendin (time travel dude) when bill possess them

the amphibians (powered by the music box) were an incredibly advanced civilization capable of a lot of damage (as seen by the literal frobot army they created

so i don't think it would be crazy to say that when they (specifically the newts) saw what a being like Bill could do, they would try to replicate it.

Obviously, the core and Bills mind-jumping powers are not the same, which is a way I'd say the Amphibians failed: instead of popping in and out of peoples minds like Bill does, the core completely takes their minds, more like a parasite.

we don't know all the parameters since we know basically nothing about the other newts in the hive mind, other than that each mind shows up as an eye on the cores "head" before and after it possesses Marcy. and speaking of the girl, she has no control or consciousness (that we know of) while under the cores control.

but we do get one and a half-ish examples of people who are very aware of the cores presence in their mind (unlike Bill) but are physically controlling their own bodies (we think) (unlike Marcy) and those two are Andrias and his dad, who both communicate with the core more like it's just a very dangerous, intrusive thought.

so.... yeah...

idk how to end this but please reblog and tell me if you think im crazy or not-

[magic-is-something-we-create]

Hi magesmith

You don't have to give me titles, but how many sneaky extra wips do you have in your hoard besides your front-runner wips, the ones you talk about consistently or use in tag games? in asking storyteller questions on Friday because I forsee myself forgetting tomorrow

Hi Sleepy!!!

Firstly: I owe you one, because without this I would have forgotten entirely to send out STS asks before my weekend hiatus, so THANK YOU I appreciate you have some virtual hugs <3

BUT in terms of extra WIPs... if I include the ones I've technically brought up here but haven't talked about in literal years, I've got about 11 stealth WIPs, 9 if I don't include The Lost or Deity Complex. Some of those WIPs are short stories that I'll probably make into an anthology or just little bonus shorts in the future, most of which have no names.

I do, however, have a few more interesting ones that are a bit more than vague concepts at this point! One is a world-building focused serial that (if executive function allows) I hope to start sharing early access to on Patreon in the coming year.

There's also some that have a decent amount of world built up, and some solid foundations for characters, but I just don't have plots or attachment to them yet - one of those is a world where people are born with their destinies etched in their skin, but "destiny" only covers, like, their Big Thing. And so a lot of people outlive their "destiny" by decades, and when they have Very Big destinies, that becomes a whole identity crisis. That one is called Marked in my folders, the world is inspired visually by southeast Asia and the Phillipines, and includes stormcloud jellyfish and very active plant life.

I've also got a magic apocalypse WIP - basically a fantasy world that's divided its kingdoms by biome is devastated by the biomes becoming, like, sentient and vengeful. Like a magic climate apocalypse. And the main character is a messenger sent from the temperate forest kingdom after wildfires absolutely wreck their shit to seek aid from the stony mountain kingdom before they knew that all the biomes were doing their own little apocalypses. That one is called Messenger in my folders.

And then I've got a bunch of story seedlings relating to the worlds that are a focus of other WIPs - a not insignificant amount of them are inspired by the Ehlverse and the world of Deity Complex.

I know that the Ehlverse is going to carry me for life because I've got so much of a history timeline to work with, and the inherent ability of the world itself to reset and wipe things from the historical record on a semi-regular basis, and so there's some plasticity in what I can do if I go back into history and shake the world up, because shit, dude a whole continent and every unique civilization and magic on it was erased 6000 years ago. Who knows what could've happened before that that we've forgotten because the history itself was lost, or what we have is so old the magic of Common can't translate it.

BUT YEAH tl;dr: ive got about a dozen stealth WIPs right now and potential for dozens and dozens more and the only reason they're stealth is because i have the object permanence of a baby. and i use that to my advantage to focus on one thing at a time

[neverwritewhatyouknow]

hello hello~ i saw your post about rw&b from another blog and decided to give your blog a look through. i just wanted to say really thank you for bringing these representation issues to the conversation, even if it's tiring and hard :')

i thought about it and i really could only name a few characters on tv that i've seen recently who were jewish (jake/gina from b99 and dr. taub from house md). as a jew, even nonreligious like many of us are, the culture is still such an important part of the community, and yet none of us really get to see this representation on screen - especially minorities within the jewish minority (i have a friend who's half chinese half jewish for ex).

i didn't grow up with religion (we only celebrated passover sometimes and we usually forgot to light the hanukkah candles after day 3), but we ate latkes and matzah and hamantashen and my mom and grandparents (also nonreligious jews) regularly used yiddish words like schlep and schmutz which I didn't know wasn't normal until i had college friends ask me what they meant.

anyway this ask doesn't really have a point but i'm really glad to see that this kind of issue is being talked about at some level, especially as you've seen, it keeps getting denied and pushed down (like saying having a jewish producer on a movie means we shouldn't have jewish actors??? wtf). even though i haven't experienced much discrimination myself (i don't have an easily identifiable/stereotypical jewish name or appearance) many many people have (for literally thousands of years) and there's so much antisemitism in our society. it's exhausting seeing it, hearing about it, reading it in books, etc. sorry for the very long message but sending much love and gratitude <3<3 you're amazing

Thank you so much for this!!!

I was just talking to someone else about Jake from Brooklyn 99, I’m gonna watch the show because everyone keeps telling me great things! And Taub… yikes… his character isn’t bad, but man do they really use his Jewishness as a punchline sometimes, granted House does it with everyone, but it feels more offensive with Taub. Dr Cuddy in House is Jewish too, played by Lisa Edelstein. But that was more of the case that she was Jewish and they let her character be too. But yeah, Jewish rep is such a small fraction of characters, and meaningful Jewish rep even more so.

There will be “Jewish” TV shows like The Goldbergs or Maisel, and people consider that rep… but 1. There are almost no Jewish actors in either of those shows, 2. Heavily stereotyped, 3. If the only time you can see more than one of two Jews on screen is in a show that is about Jews… It’s still othering Jews by literally putting them into a different show. I can easily name more than a dozen shows with no Jewish characters, which is just so terrible. Especially because there are so many different Jews in the world. Not every Jew is from New York and speaking Yiddish. There’s an entire other type of Judaism called Sephardic Judaism and there’s almost no rep there. Plus, there is barely any rep for Jews of color (especially played by Jews of color). I also have a friend who’s Jewish and Chinese, apparently that’s a super huge sector… yet, I can’t remember the last time I ever saw that represented by an actor who is. Sorry, little rant.

I love hearing about people’s Jewish upbringing, because there’s such a diverse range in the way people live their Jewish lives, and it doesn’t make any Jew more or less Jewish than another. I’m really glad you’ve never been discriminated against, like honest to god that makes me so happy. I’m the total opposite. Nearly been killed and attacked a handful of times, so any time another Jew tells me they’re able to live without worrying for their life, it makes me so happy and hopeful that maybe one day we all can. Probably a big hope lol, but maybe.

And yeah, Jewish representation is something that people don’t wanna hear about, because it would require people to understand more about Judaism and Jewishness, and due to history/society/culture, many think they already know everything and learning more would make them reevaluate things. And many don’t want to.

Thanks again for your message, Anon! Great to hear from you!!

[talesfrommedinastation]

Let's Talk Neurodivergence and Relationships

(originally posted on Wattpad, but I figured Tumblr could use a version of this as well. I'd like to think this is fairly fandom blind, but if not, let me know)

Hi kids!

First and foremost, I am a cisgendered adult woman on the autism spectrum myself. I am considered very high functioning, as I can manage social situations and keep my stims under control, thanks to a lot of work of medication, caring occupational therapists, and other professionals who have gifted me tips and tricks to better function.  

With that being stated, throughout my life, I have struggled with peer to peer contact, prefer to be alone, have issues with especially loud or bright atmospheres, will info-dump, the works (Of course, Tech from The Bad Batch was going to quickly become my favorite! When it was confirmed that he was ASD, I cheered!).

(above) Tech No-Last-Name, all hail our neurodivergent king of snark and sass. 

With that being stated, in real life, I have been in a steady romantic relationship for over the last dozen years, to a neurotypical man. Half of those years, we have been married, and trust me, our marriage is successful by society's standards. We got the mortgage, the two cars, a few graduate degrees, our busy careers, and most joyfully, our wonderful children. 

It never ceases to amaze me: I am on the autism spectrum, and I have a stable, romantic partnership with a neurotypical individual who loves me for who I AM. 

Over the last few years, I've served on panels for ND individuals regarding relationships, dating, and starting families, so I feel as if I am especially qualified to discuss this subject, especially as a significant portion of my crossover piece between Star Wars and The Expanse, Far Past The Ring, does deal with intimate subjects. Be warned*.

(above) Dr. Sjael Drummer, who somehow can rock a fierce matte lip stain in the field? Art commissioned by the incredible @matthewyeetz. The character is mine.

While not the main part of the story, the intimate parts between Tech and Dr. Drummer are the match that's tossed on the proverbial dumpster that's been filled with gasoline and lighter fluid. Once the intimate parts of done, things get very action oriented and the romance is left in the freakin' dust for the most part.

In many ways, this part of 'Far Past the Ring' is a retelling of the love story closest to me, which is that of me and my husband. I should mention that he, in many ways, reminds me so much of Tech, even if I'm the ND individual in the marriage! 

So this is not fantasy, kids. This is, in many ways, the story of how my husband and I met. And how our relationship has worked since we met in graduate school. 

Here are some things that have made my marriage work so well (and that I'd like you to notice as you continue to read this story, even when things get complicated–because they are going to!): 

How to be in a relationship with an ND individual (including someone like Tech): 

Boundaries are your friend: I do not like being touched, grabbed, or suddenly hugged without communicating that I am okay with it. Touch for me can feel incredibly uncomfortable, even though my loved ones adore doing it as a sign of affection. People are unpredictable, and if a person has their hands on me, it fills me with anxiety. It literally makes me flinch, and in later episodes, when Tech is touched without his permission, it is upsetting for me to watch. If you notice, Sjael does not touch Tech unless she asks him permission first. She respects his personal bubble, and does not attempt to pop it unless asked. When she does–and she will, because mistakes happen–she apologizes. Both her and Tech are good at communicating due to their lines of work, and that leads me to...

Infodumping means I like you: Getting me (or many other ND individuals) to blabber on a subject I'm especially passionate about isn't difficult, but I will generally only do it with people I feel comfortable with. Take note that, after a bit, Tech absolutely dumps all sorts of information onto his team mates or others (look how excited he is to talk about droids at a moments' notice on Cid!). This eventually includes Sjael, who, whether it is her own experience in graduate school or coming from a family of eggheads, enjoys it. She never rolls her eyes or interrupts him--she genuinely likes what he has to say. If you can't handle an ND individual's verbal and intellectual passion about a subject, you may want to rethink the relationship. Speaking of which...

Communication is key: Tech loves to talk, but, if you've watched the latest season of 'The Bad Batch', you'll remember that intimate eye contact can be scary for him ('The Crossing' is the most glaring example), as it is for me and other individuals on the spectrum. Sjael, being a Belter from 'The Expanse', is used to talking from behind a mask or a helmet, so using hand gestures and signals, rather than direct eye contact, is not a big jump for her. Additionally, because of Belter culture, Sjael grew up being blunt, direct, and very expressive when need be, as life on the Belt is harsh and fast, and subtly is a luxury few can afford. This works well with Tech's neurodiversity, as Sjael's very emotive face and hands makes it easy for him to gather social cues when he's too exhausted otherwise. Take note of how often he stares at her eyebrows or mouth during the story, it's quite helpful for him. Being able to communicate--easy for a talker like Tech--is so important, as social cues might  be missed. 

Respect (it's not just a song): ND individuals may seem quirky, but have the same breadth, experience, and agency as anyone else. One of the first things Tech learns about Sjael is that she is a scientist and engineer, with a Ph.D in chemical engineering. He recognizes that she's someone who might be able to get toe-to-toe with him, without being belittling or mean. Sjael, meanwhile, learns that Tech is a soldier with multiple skills that outrank her own, especially in programming and mechanics. While he has quirks, she quickly sees his strength and intellect, making her see him as a peer (and a threat, but that's neither here nor there). There isn't just mutual attraction, but respect as well. Both are intellectual equals (Tech will not admit that, but it is true!), and genuinely are interested in not only learning with each other, but learning together. Sjael does not patronize him, instead viewing him as a person with different experiences and abilities. 

I hope this was helpful for understanding how these relationships can work.

One of the biggest issues I have seen with neurodiverse individuals is the concept of infantilizing them or subjecting them to romantic interests as a way to 'fix' them. Or by pushing boundaries, even when someone is uncomfortable. 

ND folks do not need to be fixed, they need to be loved and accepted for who they are, quirks and all. 

*= If you're a TechxPhee stan, props! I started writing this crossover back in February, before they became canon. And before other, well, more tragic things in March became canon as well :(.

But it's fairly obvious that Clone Force 99 wasn't going to run into the world of 'The Expanse' any time soon on the show, so consider this a branch of a lovely river that's going in a different direction :).

[olderthannetfic]

I keep hearing things about Live Journal commenting and like conversations in the comments? and possibly something about profile pictures? I was wondering if your would be wiling to explain any of that or experiences or how it differs from ao3 or something? (I joined fandom in 2018 and am really interested in it's history [guess who just discovered fanlore! hehe])

--

I was never much of a fan of changing icons, but a lot of people would have dozens and dozens and would choose the specific one that made sense with their comment or post. Sometimes, you’d match the fandom/theme/etc., but other times, the choice of icon would kind of color the interpretation of the comment. A lot of them were animated with pithy text that cycled through. Some were more like character portraits, but plenty had a vibe that was a bit more like a reaction gif. So... like... on a comment where you were going “WTF!” at something, you’d pick an icon where your fave was making a WTF face.

Icons are/were also used extensively in journal-based roleplaying, but I don’t have any experience with that.

(Your default icon shows on your actual profile page, but you can select other icons whenever you post a post or comment. I presume this is what people meant by profile pictures.)

LJ had (and Dreamwidth has) decent threaded comments, even if a comment thread is 300 comments long and has a lot of deep subthreads (rather than a top level comment and 299 direct responses). Comments have URLs, and you can go into a thread to just see some part of a subthread, which makes it easy to read even the otherwise horribly indented discussions a bajillion comments in.

This tended to inspire a lot of longform text discussion in a way tumblr supposedly doesn’t. (I mean, there’s always my own tumblr... but in general, no, tumblr is not great for this.) I’d say LJ’s level of back-and-forth in the comments, tl;dr, and pretentious blowhard-ness was about on par with Reddit, another space that prioritizes text and threaded comments.

One thing about LJ comments is that they (originally at least) had titles. So a comment thread on a post would be like “Some quick responses” and another would be like “Thinky thoughts on your third point”. (The late and unlamented “thinky thoughts” was everpresent on LJ.)

Because LJ was so locked down with infinite friends filters and such, you’d often meet other people in the comments of a third party’s post. Not everybody posted anything public, let alone anything you could really interact on, but they might show up in a big discussion elsewhere.

(Basically, on LJ and on DW, you can put different groups in filters and either 1. restrict your post to that group or 2. view a dashboard-like feed of just that group. Very helpful for sorting your friends who post commentary from that bastard you like but who needs to stop spamming a different MCU gif literally every 10 minutes all day every day to the point you can’t find anything else in your feed.)

Some of the same commenting energy exists on AO3, but it depends on the fandom. Have you ever been into a really popular WIP for a big ship where fans of the WIP would chat with each other and speculate about future fic developments or talk about canon in comment threads? The vast majority of AO3 comments are top-level and directed at the author, but you do see this other kind every once in a while. That used to be extremely common on big fics on LJ. (TBH, the main difference on AO3 is that people feel inhibited, not that they can’t still do this LJ-like behavior.)

I didn’t really post fic to LJ, so I was looking at more meta discussions, but there too, it was pretty common for two commenters to start talking to each other rather than the OP.

And yet, at the same time, you were in OP’s space where they could lock everything down if they wanted, not in a reblog situation like tumblr, so there was much more of an awareness of potential moderators. It wasn’t all good: LJ had plenty of cult of nice where people were saccharine in public and salty in friendslocked posts and tons and tons of vagueblogging.

Overall, it did privilege people who spewed out walls-o-text and wanted to discuss everything to death. Getting big for... like... properly tagging other people’s gifsets was not a thing, though there were some big name fic reccers. The focus was much more on people who could produce a lot of their own work and on people who could hold their own in a debate.

Honestly, you could probably go look at astolat’s post where she proposed AO3 and read the comments to get a sense of how people were interacting. I think that one had a lot of top-level comments, but there were probably threads.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Hex Life

Fandom: WandaVision Pairing: Darcy Lewis/Jimmy Woo Rating: E Chapters: 10/10 Word Count: 34k

Summary: Guest starring Agent James E. Woo as himself and introducing Dr. Darcy Lewis as Mrs. Darcy Woo!

Or: Darcy and Jimmy are sent into the Hex to retrieve Captain Monica Rambeau. Finding out Westview has cast them as a married couple is only the first of the surprises that await them.

read ch. 1 one / 2 two / 3 three / 4 four / 5 five 6 six / 7 seven / 8 eight / 9 nine / 10 ten

this fic is now complete!

Jimmy’s going to be a dad. He was going to be a dad in a black-and-white sitcom world and now he’s going to be a dad in a world on the regular spectrum, so the colours really aren’t as big a deal as his impending fatherhood. Possible fatherhood. As much as he’s always secretly wanted his own little Jimmy Woo Jr., he didn’t know if it would be in the cards for him—pun obviously intended—and the last thing he wants to do is influence Darcy either way, especially since he’s only known her a couple days and doesn’t have a clue if a baby was really part of her life plan.

It can’t just be rose-coloured glasses making him see his wife warming to the idea though; when she continues down the hall ahead of Jimmy and Monica, he spots her careful cradling of the baby bump. He can barely stand not touching her. The instinct to shelter others has always been one of his strongest and now he feels it intensely. He longs to protect Darcy, to hold Darcy, to love— Well. Jimmy clears his throat at the very thought and Monica gives him a suspicious side-eyed glance.

“Dry throat,” he lies, tapping his neck in a probably highly unconvincing gesture.

“Uh huh.”

Yeah, she doesn’t sound convinced.

He’s rescued by a burst of sound from the bedroom and dashes ahead of Monica in case Darcy’s in trouble. When he bangs the bedroom door fully open, she’s fine. She’s laughing. He sighs and looks where she points. The queen-sized mattress they shared has changed back to a pair of narrower beds.

“Seriously,” Jimmy says flatly.

“Well, the big bed worked its magic,” Darcy concedes. She pats her rounded stomach. “Mission accomplished.”

“Aw jeeze.”

Ignoring his distress, she sits on the end of the closest bed.

“What I like is that they’re magically made. I didn’t end up having to change the sheets. This is really the next step in home technology.”

“Honey, don’t encourage the magical forces that control our home décor,” he pleads, beckoning until Darcy rises and takes his outstretched hand.

“Better than getting on their bad side. In the AI uprising, you wanna make sure you’re friends with the robots.”

This is an outrageous statement coming from a credible scientist, so Jimmy squints down at her for a minute before saying, “Thanks, house,” aloud, just in case appeasing the Hex now saves him from being closed into a room with no door later, if the walls rearrange to form the ’70s model of their current home.

“You did the smart thing,” Darcy assures him.

As they leave the room, she keeps hold of his hand. He shoots adoring glances at her.

“Hey, Monica,” she says, calling to their guest, who seems to have gone to investigate the walk-in closet. “Accommodations aren’t going to be a problem. I can give you some pajamas too because I think I own at least a dozen pairs, as I’m sure you’ve already discovered…”

But when they look in the closet it’s… not a closet.

“Or maybe the Hex destroyed all my pajamas and I should take back my overtures of friendship,” Darcy corrects.

“Welcome to your nursery,” Monica says. “I’m guessing from the look on Jimmy’s face that this is new.”

It’s spartan, but there’s no doubt in Jimmy’s mind that the room is now intended to be exactly what Monica said. There’s a crib in pieces on the carpet and a rocking chair in the corner. Though he can’t remember this room having even one window, there are now two. The blinds are drawn against the night and curtains patterned with stars and streaking comets hang from a rod mounted above the window. Automatically, he pulls Darcy into his side. He feels her rest her head on his shoulder.

“Man, the Hex is really giving us the hard sell,” she comments.

Just like that, he’s guiding her around by her upper arms and propelling her from the room. He glances over his shoulder to see Monica following with an amused smile. At his nod, she pulls the door shut.

“Ignore it,” Jimmy tells Darcy. “Don’t let that room influence you.”

“Oh, like that’s easy.” She rolls her eyes.

“I know it’s hard not to picture reading Jimmy Junior to sleep in his crib, or watching him learn to roll himself over on the carpet, or cuddling him in your arms in the rocking chair as the morning light—”

“Jimmy Junior?” Darcy asks, interrupting Jimmy’s rapidly solidifying daydream.

“You know what? I’m starving,” Monica announces, putting a hand on each of their shoulders to head off the awkward pause. “How about you two show me some hospitality? I’ve had a long day of being mind-controlled.”

“How ’bout some comfort food?” he asks. “I make a mean bowl of chili.”

“Sounds great.”

So, Jimmy cooks for them. His attention is unequally divided between the simmering pot, Monica leaning against the counter next to him as she recounts the scene at the meeting when Wanda went to take his call, and Darcy sifting pickily through the contents of their fridge. He glances over after putting the lid on the pot to let the chili finish cooking and sees his wife contemplatively holding an egg like it’s Yorick’s skull. Ok, well, he’s just going to leave her to her thoughts.

He sets bowls of chili for himself and Monica on the dining room table. Darcy, justifiably finnicky, takes longer to decide what she’ll be able to stomach, reflexively rubbing the baby bump as she plunders their kitchen. Finally, she comes to sit down. She’s brought a spoon. That’s it. Jimmy’s going to ask, but Darcy just scoots her chair close to his and takes intermittent mouthfuls of his serving while the conversation continues on. He sighs in unannoyed exasperation and alternates dips of his spoon with hers.

It’s just another weird routine they’ve settled into, and like everything else, it didn’t take long.

“You two didn’t know each other before this assignment, right?” Monica checks, motioning between Darcy and Jimmy with a slice of buttered toast.

“No, why?” Darcy asks, dropping a chunk of tomato from her spoon onto his. (Apparently, she doesn’t like tomatoes.)

Monica smiles and says, “No reason.”

She seems ready to accept them as they are, whatever they are. She goes back over the events of this afternoon for Darcy’s benefit—who was zoned out staring at an egg at the time—then the three of them turn to talk of tomorrow. What does Monica feel she needs to try before she’s willing to concede and leave the Hex with them? What can she try? How can Jimmy and Darcy assist her? They talk themselves in a circle of possibilities, limitations, and Monica’s unswerving negative answer to suggestions of her leaving the Hex without getting through to Wanda. Eventually, they decide that the best plan may be no plan, since they’re up against Westview’s ever-shifting magical properties.

“We’ll get up in the morning and see what the world looks like,” Monica says.

Jimmy’s going to reply when the Captain’s expression alters.

“Are you remembering?” Darcy asks her astutely. Monica stares at her. “I don’t want to pry, I’ve just seen that look on a lot of people’s faces lately. People who came back.”

“This isn’t dissimilar,” Monica admits. “When I get anywhere near Wanda or the other characters with speaking parts and start to lose control to… Geraldine—” Jimmy thinks the look on her face is both disgusted and deeply hurt. “—I do get this feeling like the world is going on without me. Only I’m there. I’m right there. I haven’t made up my mind yet if it’s worse than being gone entirely then coming back to find nothing’s the same.”

“Yeah,” Darcy says, soft, sympathetic.

“I don’t know what else the members of this community have been through, but I know I don’t want them to have to keep going through this too. I can’t imagine how tight Wanda’s grip is on the people who were here when she started this. Not sure I’m qualified to be the one to tell her how to let go of her grief and move on.”

Monica blinks quickly and gives a forced smile.

“That was good chili, Jimmy.”

He nods in thanks because he can’t find the right words to say.

They’re all carrying something and Jimmy thinks about that as the three of them clean up, then splinter off to get ready for bed, tired for different and shared reasons. (He changes into his pajamas in the nursery—they found their clothing in a new, regular-sized closet in the bedroom—while Monica and Darcy take the bathrooms.) The Captain’s carrying her recent bereavement and the unignorable sense of responsibility she feels to help Wanda and the Westviewers, possibly precisely because she isn’t ready to confront her own loss. Darcy’s doing some literal carrying with the baby bump her pajama top is buttoned over when she steps out of the en suite bathroom to let Jimmy in to brush his teeth. She’s an astrophysicist who, while studying a television diversion from reality, was brought rudely back to earth by circumstances as real as they come.

What Jimmy’s carrying is actually carrying him: his hope. It’s a good thing to have in his line of work, but a tough thing to keep when the world’s been through what it has. A baby is the least likely and most longed-for thing he would’ve confessed to wanting if someone asked him what was missing from his life.

When it’s acknowledged through awkward glances that, yes, Monica’s taking one of the beds and Jimmy and Darcy will share the other, he climbs under the covers his wife holds open for him. She rolls away from him to lie on her side and he gets comfortable on his back. The Hex has definitely eased up on what it wants for their romantic development because this is the first time he’s been in bed with Darcy and not felt himself caving to the need to have sex with her. Oh, the desire to touch her is as powerful as ever, but the kind of touching he craves is as tender as the flesh of that peach he brought her earlier in the day.

But he doesn’t want to crowd her. Figuratively or literally. Between finding Monica and calling Wanda, making love to Darcy all afternoon and being presented with her pregnant belly in the evening, it’s been a dog’s breakfast of a day. The mission abruptly became just the second most daunting thing he needs to pull off. Now, he’s driven by the impulse to be near Darcy. She doesn’t know it, but she’s drawing him in like gravity and he can only cross his fingers for a soft landing.

Jimmy almost jumps when she reaches for him in the dark, hand feeling behind her until it finds his. She drags his arm over her and he flips onto his side to make it easier. Though Darcy lets him go when his arm’s around her, he doesn’t know where to rest his hand. Tentatively, he places it over her belly and she wriggles back into him. Heart bursting, he holds her more securely to his body, smooths his hand over the bump, and soon falls asleep.

—

The floor wakes him up. He’s just fallen out of bed.

Disoriented, Jimmy sits up in a tangle of comforter and squints at his bed companion in the morning light. They must’ve repositioned while they slept, but that alone wasn’t what forced him to and over the edge—he can see the shape of Darcy’s belly beneath the sheet. It’s noticeably larger than it was yesterday.

He’s still trying to come to terms with that when she sleepily grasps the comforter and yanks it back over her body. Jimmy chuckles and rises into a stretch. Monica’s bed is empty and neatly made, so she must be up already. Before entering the Hex, his internal clock was strict too. Since, he bends to the needs of his subconscious, which seems happiest when it’s allowed to sleep in, particularly if Darcy’s warming the sheets next to him. This is only their third day in Westview and the second time waking up here, but it feels wonderfully routine. As satisfying as completing his consistently-timed morning run or pouring exactly the right amount of milk into his cereal.

Although he’d like to let Darcy sleep, it’s weird now because he’s staring. Anyway, they need to tighten up their operations even further today if they’re going to get out of here soon. Monica requires either success or closure with Wanda, so Jimmy’s determined to help with that. And if Darcy’s pregnancy takes another leap forward, well… that’s another time crunch to consider.

She’s lying on her side, facing him, belly in the space where he fell asleep. Gently, he brushes hair out of her face and strokes lightly up and down her arm.

Darcy gives him a murmured “Hi” with her eyes still shut.

“You gonna get up?”

“Inaminute,” she promises, words running together.

“Alright.”

Jimmy hovers for a second, then darts down to kiss her forehead. She pats his shoulder clumsily in response.

He might as well have had his own eyes shut, blind to everything but Darcy, because it takes opening his wardrobe to realize Monica was correct—everything’s changed again. WandaVision has embraced the ’70s. The shirts and suits he was pretty comfortable with have been traded out. Those items still exist, but now they’re aggressively patterned. There are flared pant legs. There is so much corduroy. Out of the row of shoes tucked into the bottom on his side of the closet, half have platform heels.

“Oh god,” Jimmy groans softly, sifting through for something that won’t feel too much like a cheesy costume.

He ends up with jeans—his only pair of pants without a pattern—and a striped shirt with wide lapels. The Hex’s makeover of his closet has him so beaten down that he doesn’t even pick out a jacket. He doesn’t have the heart for business casual. At the sight of a long-sleeved jumpsuit, Jimmy closes the closet door securely. They have to get out of here. This will be the thing that breaks him.

Slouching into the bathroom, he drops his selections on the counter and takes a shower. As he washes his hair, his fingers slow their scrubbing. Is his hair… longer? He finishes quickly and steps out to find the mirror fogged with steam. He wipes it clean with his forearm, examining his reflection. This place isn’t through with him yet: the Hex has given him a mustache.

Jimmy screams.

“Fine!” Darcy shouts back to his wordless noise of dismay. “I’m up! God, you could’ve just set an alarm and OH MY GOD, HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THIS BABY BUMP?!”

He sighs on behalf of himself and his wife, slicks his too-long wet hair back with a comb, then starts in on shaving off the mustache. It immediately grows back.

“Come on,” he complains, cursing the Hex. “Why’d you give me a razor then?!”

Luckily, his annoyance fades the minute he sees Darcy. She’s swearing up a storm about needing to pee and her head looking too small for her body because the Hex has straightened her hair, but he takes all of her restless irritation in with a dazed smile on his face. Adjusting her glasses—now almost circular, with rounded off corners—she catches sight of his new look and erupts into laughter. Whatever the Hex does to mess with their appearance, at least they’re each other’s best medicine to combat it.

“I don’t want to be insensitive,” Monica starts when they walk into the kitchen hand in hand, “but are you significantly more pregnant than you were yesterday?”

Jimmy watches Darcy nod and slips away from her to throw some more bread in the toaster from the bag Monica’s left out on the counter for them.

“You’d think it’s just this big, shapeless dress,” Darcy says, “but no.” She pulls the fabric taut over her stomach to show the size of her belly more accurately. “I don’t want to say it, but the size of this thing makes me think the Hex is leaving me room to grow.”

“And if that dress is only for today…” Monica says.

“Jeepers,” Jimmy concludes.

They eat together in their reconfigured living room. It’s not until Monica’s kicked back in one of their low chairs, ankle propped on her opposite knee, that Jimmy notices her patterned pants.

“Those aren’t from Darcy’s closet are they?”

“No. I’m assuming they’re my clothes from yesterday with the matter recycled for a new decade. Believe me, this outfit wouldn’t have been my choice if I had anything else to pick from.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure. I had a whole closet and still ended up with this,” Jimmy says, motioning to himself.

“My retro Secret Agent Man,” Darcy states admiringly, leaning her head over to bump against his shoulder. Ok, he thinks, smiling at her, I can be alright with this for her.

When Monica rises to turn on the television, Jimmy realizes this is the first time they’ve had one in the house. He remembers seeing a set in the Vision residence when he and Darcy were watching an episode on the S.W.O.R.D. base, but he didn’t notice the lack once they got here. Probably because that first night was taken up with flirting, and then yesterday was split between scouring the downtown for Monica and holing up in the bedroom with Darcy. Watching the screen buzz to life now is like witnessing something truly futuristic and spectacular.

“Well, whaddaya know,” he says as the opening sequence of WandaVision begins.

“You think the TVs in here play anything else?” Darcy wonders aloud.

“Maybe not,” Monica says distractedly as they all turn their attention to Wanda and Vision’s adorable antics—the ice cream, the tandem bicycle. “It’s a pretty big coincidence that this show started right when I turned it on.”

“I can see an even bigger coincidence.”

There’s no need to guess what Darcy means. Wanda’s baby bump is obvious in nearly every shot of the introduction, particularly emphasized when she and Vision dance together, his hand on her belly. It’s all maternity clothes and Vision reading pregnancy books and while it’s wholesome, it’s also chilling.

“We’re doing the same plot,” Jimmy says.

“It’s like we’re… their understudies,” Darcy agrees, shrinking back into the cushions.

“Maybe Wanda figured, if you two wanted to be in the show so bad, she’d put you in the show,” Monica theorizes. “Her show. Exactly the way she’s living it.”

“So she’s teaching us a lesson? On what? Abstinence?”

“Could be a misguided attempt to gain your sympathy.”

“Or it really is all about control,” Jimmy suggests, cynical after the reveal that the pregnancy that’s upended his entire life isn’t really theirs. It’s not original. They’re following a Newlywed Couple template.

“Hey,” Darcy says, grabbing his arm, “this wasn’t all Wanda. She might’ve set the scene and, yeah, maybe we were more the goatherd puppets than we were Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp, but we did this.” She pulls his hand to her belly. “Wanda doesn’t decide what we do next.”

“What I suggest you not do next is consult Dr. Misogyny over here,” Monica says, gesturing at the television.

The doctor is condescending to Wanda and Vision about the facts of life during a checkup (in their living room?). He lowers himself even further in Jimmy’s regard when he refers to expectant mothers as “little ladies” and implies that the changes in their own bodies are beyond their understanding.

“What a quack,” he decides. “We’re not going to see that guy.” He’s startled to recall his promise to Darcy the previous evening, about options, his intention not to make up her own mind for her. Lowering his voice, he tilts his head close to hers. “I mean, we’ll do whatever you want. Including…”

Jimmy trails off and casts his eyes down. He still means it, wants Darcy on board with this 100% or not at all, but the whole thing’s been a roller coaster and he’s not great at pretending not to feel anything. With his wife so much further into her pregnancy today, it’s obvious that this baby will be born and they’ll need to decide who’s raising it. He thinks the two of them together could rear a pretty incredible kid, but if she wants out, is he prepared to be a single parent? The other option besides her, him, or both of them raising the baby is adoption. They’d need to leave the Hex before taking those steps (it’s not like he’s going to encourage Darcy to hand the baby over to a mind-controlled Westviewer), and just thinking about it, with everything he already feels for the baby, makes him certain that he’d rather rearrange his entire life than pass on this chance at a family. However unorthodox their beginnings.

“Don’t worry,” Darcy says calmly, pulling him from his spiral. “That guy will never get the chance to compare my uterus to a vegetable garden.”

“Fruit,” Monica corrects without looking away from the television.

“Right. Fruit. He’ll have no say about any of it. And he definitely won’t get the opportunity to be patronizing as fuck while he tries to give us the sex talk.” She looks Jimmy right in the eye and says, “I won’t let the asshole doctor-man say a word about your banana.”

Chuckling, he looks back to the screen. The doctor has departed and Vision’s currently baffled over Wanda’s newly expanded stomach. Uh oh. He jerks his head around to check and, yep, Darcy’s baby bump appears to be keeping up with the sitcom star’s.

“You two stay here,” Monica instructs, on her feet when Jimmy glances over.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To Wanda’s. If things continue at this rate, she could give birth in this episode. That’s going to make her even more protective of her family and her space and I’ll have an even harder time getting near her.”

“Are you sure you want to interrupt?”

They both glance at the television for a moment to observe Wanda and Vision debating baby names in the nursery. There’s nothing distressing about the scene—in fact, the couple looks as much at ease as Jimmy’s seen them on the show—but that doesn’t mean it couldn’t change, and quickly, if Monica inserted herself. He just isn’t sure how that would go and he doesn’t like any plan where he can’t foresee all the possible outcomes.

“Guess I just have a feeling,” Monica says, looking unsettled.

“Well,” Darcy pipes up, “in the world of science, having a feeling is forming a theory, and in this place… I think having a feeling you should do something might be Wanda giving you your cue.”

“You’re not beyond her control,” Jimmy tells Monica, “just farther away from it. What if Darcy’s right?”

“If Wanda wants me there, I’m not going to resist,” she replies firmly. “She’s the key and we need her cooperation.”

“Good luck,” Darcy bids her.

With a nod to them both, Monica strides across the living room and opens the front door.

“Speaking of keys,” Jimmy recalls, but the door shuts before he can offer to let her borrow their car to get to Wanda’s.

Maybe the Captain has a different plan. Maybe she’s just bending to Wanda’s influence. Whichever it is, he can’t go after her. Monica was right—he has to stay here with Darcy today, especially because her belly seems larger when he looks again. He glances at her face with a question on his and she nods.

“And I felt a kick,” she says.

“Really? Could I…? Do you think I could…?”

Darcy rolls her eyes at his reticence and guides both his hands to the bump. When he feels something nudge his palm, Jimmy tears up.

“That’s our baby,” Darcy confirms.

“Feels like they have my softball windup,” he murmurs.

“Or my pre-coffee restlessness.”

“Our baby,” Jimmy repeats, staring into her eyes—finally blue for the first time in days, give or take a decade.

They’re having a marvelous family moment until the power goes out. Lights, TV, the hum of the fridge in the kitchen, everything. Seconds later, it all comes back.

“That was strange.”

“I wondered what Wanda’s magic was doing to the power grid,” Darcy says. “I’m still curious about the finer points of what happens when electricity meets power generated by an Infinity Stone. Really, I’d expect Wanda to have this kinda thing under control, but I guess if she’s— Ugh!”

Her pained noise has Jimmy cupping her face, pushing back her hair, trying to figure out what happened.

“She’s distracted,” she says.

“By what?”

“Labour.”

“What? No.”

Sure enough, when Darcy stands (with Jimmy leaping to his feet to support her) and stretches her back, her bump looks big enough to contain a baby that’s almost ready to be born. Ready to be born?! Jimmy thinks. In our house? With no doctor? Just because the one on TV rubbed him the wrong way doesn’t mean he’s prepared to write off every doctor, nurse, and midwife in Westview. He would very much like to place responsibility for this delivery in the hands of a medical professional, not his own!

Even as the TV’s flickering back to life, he helps Darcy away from it. That just shows how serious things are. He knows how quickly she became invested in the sitcom when they reviewed the ’50s episode at the base.

After some frantic thought, he’s thinking the bathtub is going to have to do. People do that right? With home births? Although he attempts to guide Darcy in that direction, she doesn’t even want to sit down on the edge, let alone climb in. No, she wants to pace, and as she paces, she rubs at her lower back, wincing.

“We could look at the nursery,” he proposes. “Might take your mind off it.”

Jimmy knows it could be a weak suggestion, an insult to imply that anything could take Darcy’s mind off whatever discomfort she’s currently feeling, but the Hex, with its radioactive walls, smiles down on them for once. With his arm around her to take some of her weight, they hobble into the baby’s room and it’s… perfect.

The walls are dark blue near the ceiling, almost black, fading to periwinkle halfway down the wall. The lower portion transitions from blue to pale yellow, then a blazing orange right before the baseboard.

“It’s a sunrise,” he comprehends.

“Yeah,” Darcy says softly.

Though he feels like he got slightly ripped off by not being allowed a chance to do any of the decorating, he does admire the Hex’s choices. At last, his wife’s been represented in this space, in this house, and it’s beautiful. There’s a shelf full of space-themed board books, a plastic jumble of play versions of scientific tools like telescopes. A dangling mobile of the planets. After easing his wife into the rocking chair, Jimmy holds up a pack of glow-in-the-dark stars.

“Should I put these up?”

She smiles.

“I would be all over that shit if I could, but I trust you to do a good job.”

“Oh no. Do you want me to do real constellations?”

“The baby’s not gonna know the difference. Make it look however you want.”

She rocks, assuring him something about the motion is helping her manage the intensifying pain of her contractions, and Jimmy finds a small stepping stool to help him reach the ceiling. The sway of the chair in the corner of his eye, the morning light through the curtains, and the sound of Darcy breathing are things he already knows he’ll never forget.

Before he’s stuck all the stars in the pack to the ceiling’s white paint, she calls him down from the stool.

“I need to walk again.”

Darcy says it with grit and Jimmy doesn’t argue, even when walking appears to put her in even more distress; she groans and pushes her free hand against the wall as they stroll out of the nursery and down the hallway.

“Let’s check in with Wanda,” Jimmy says helplessly.

This is who he is now: a husband in over his head, desperate to gain tips about delivering a baby from a TV sitcom. An overwhelmed real estate agent. A man with a mustache.

They return to the living room and the TV playing WandaVision in time for Monica’s entrance. Based on her free use of ’70s slang and the general discord between the Captain Rambeau Jimmy’s been getting to know and the woman on the screen, he knows they’re looking at Geraldine. Wanda’s back in control of her character alright, and Jimmy wants to know who it’s helping. The scene’s centered around some joke about Wanda attempting to hide her pregnancy, which is no good for him. He needs a step-by-step guide, not a magic-resistant stork!

“There better not be a fucking bird in here,” Darcy gripes, alternately crouching and standing as every position fails to make her comfortable. “If I see a fucking, goddamn, sonofabitch, motherfucking—”

“I know, sweetie, I know,” Jimmy assures her, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades with the flat of his hand.

“The betrayal,” she mutters when Wanda elects to lie down behind a couch.

It completely blocks their view. If this were a regular show, Jimmy would understand that. Sitcom viewers would definitely appreciate a little TV magic over graphic, up-close-and-personal birth footage, but here at the Woo residence, one FBI agent and his astrophysicist wife really just want the truth! If Monica had agency, he’s sure she’d shove the couch aside to help them out, but with Geraldine at the helm, he’s confronting the fact that he and Darcy are on their own.

“Let’s go, Darcy,” he says, steering her towards the bathroom. “We don’t need her.”

“Are you sure?”

He’s never heard Darcy sound so uncertain and knows he’ll have to bluff his way through this. When the Avengers aren’t around, the regular people must step up. Reminding himself of that has gotten Jimmy through more than one tough day on the job and he tells himself it’ll get them both through this.

“Of course.”

In the bathroom, Darcy kicks out of her underwear and uses Jimmy as a crutch to climb into the tub. Her face is scrunched up severely and her hands are braced against the walls of the bathtub, so he tries to watch and understand what she needs. When all the tension in her face and body burst out in a shout, he grabs her hand. Her fingers curl around his palm in a death grip.

“How about some nice warm water? Water, Darcy?”

She nods rapidly, eyes clenched shut, and he turns on the facet, then quickly reaches behind her to plug the drain. The stream wets his sleeve and, when he withdraws his arm, hits her hair around the level of her shoulders and begins to soak the back of her dress. Between contractions, Darcy sighs in what sounds like relief.

“That feels good,” she acknowledges.

“Good,” is all Jimmy can say back. He kisses her face and squeezes her hand in his. “Good.”

He’s back to scrambling for a solution soon enough when the warm flow of water down her back stops being enough to soothe her. He helps her out of her sodden dress, tossing it behind him to splat on the tile floor.

“What do you need?” he asks wildly, leaning over the tub.

“Earplugs,” Darcy tells him before emitting a scream shrill enough to probably be heard by their neighbour’s dog, Dipper, down the street.

Jimmy doesn’t think, he just does. Snatching a towel off the rail, bracing his wife’s foot against his shoulder as her leg spasms, reaching into the water to collect their baby when the Hex (he assumes) does them the favour of letting one long push be sufficient to expel him. Him. Jimmy and Darcy’s son.

He’s beaming through the happy tears, delicately wiping at the wailing baby with the towel and passing him into Darcy’s outstretched arms as she shakes with astonished laughter, hair wet, head resting back against the jut of the faucet.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he jokes.

Darcy sits up, sending a splash of water over the side of the bathtub to slap the floor, and he knows the Hex is interfering again to make her capable of anything besides exhaustion after what she just accomplished. She twists sideways in the tub until she’s closer to Jimmy. He wraps an arm around her wet shoulders and peers down at the face of their boy, already drowsy after exercising his tiny lungs. Jimmy can feel Darcy studying his face.

“Jimmy Woo Junior?” she asks.

And he knows the rest is going to be gravy.

—

Inside the Hex, the magic of television is real. They didn’t need to fake Darcy’s pregnancy with a cushion to make her belly, round and taut as a beach ball, disappear entirely only minutes after giving birth. They didn’t need a set of twins or triplets playing Jimmy Woo Jr. to swap in a quiet baby for one that starts to cry. There’s no trick lighting or fudged angles, just Darcy sitting on the couch (in dry, non-maternity clothes) catching their amazingly calm, less than an hour-old son up on the details of his origin story—Darcy’s wording.

It’s shaping up to be a nice, if highly unusual, family day in, until the tension starts to mount on-screen. Probably something Jimmy could’ve caught sooner if he weren’t spending 50 seconds out of every minute stroking the baby’s teeny-weeny hands while he hopes Jimmy Jr. retains zero memory of his dad’s mustache. When he hears Monica mention Wanda’s brother by name, he’s fully alert to the episode and knows he has to act. That close to Wanda, Monica’s control should be fully suppressed beneath the character of Geraldine. If she’s breaking through to ask Wanda person questions, questions that are almost definitely going to provoke an emotional response, Monica must be fighting like crazy to surface. Jimmy decides that’s his signal to get over there and help bring this thing to a satisfying conclusion so they can all leave the Hex.

“You’re not going to Wanda’s without me,” Darcy informs him, planted in front of the door when Jimmy returns from grabbing his keys.

“Darcy, you can’t. The baby. I’d stay with him and let you go, but I’ve never heard you mention particular skill in hand-to-hand combat and I can’t guarantee things won’t turn violent.”

She snorts.

“Liar. I could be the world’s biggest hand-to-hand badass and you’d still be trying to protect me right now.”

He stares at her and Darcy stubbornly lifts her chin as she holds his eyes.

“Ok,” Jimmy concedes, “yes, I would.”

“Please don’t leave us here,” she says, cheek pressed to the baby’s. No, no, no, he can already feel himself wanting to surrender, to have them with him. Darcy kisses their son’s face, then holds his hand to gesture while she pitches her voice higher, pretending to speak for Jimmy Jr. “I want to meet Auntie Monica.”

He gives her a look and reaches past her to open the door. Instead of trying to exit around his family, he waves Darcy through ahead of him. (She looks down at the baby in her arms and goes “Yaaaay! Isn’t Daddy a soft touch?”)

“You didn’t persuade me,” he says, leading them to the car and holding the door for Darcy while she climbs into the back seat with the baby. “This is strategic.”

“Is the strategy common sense? I feel like you should’ve gone with that from the beginning. Bringing a scientist to a magic fight is good thinking, for, like, balance and shit.”

Jimmy backs down the driveway as gently as he can. Their car’s been modernized (well, for the latest decade) and while it now has seatbelts, it wasn’t equipped with a car seat for their son. He’s going to have to drive with the utmost care.

“Hopefully, there won’t be a fight,” he reminds Darcy, “but if there is, you won’t be anywhere near it. You and Jimmy Junior are staying in the car. Alright?”

When he darts his gaze to the rear-view mirror, he sees his wife looking out her window, making a show of not listening to him. Jimmy sighs.

Without thinking, he navigates back to the street where they dropped Monica off yesterday. Wanda’s house is just down from Dottie’s; he remembers the number from watching WandaVision. Jimmy draws up to the curb and parks. He glances back at Darcy, but she’s still ignoring him.

“I’ll try to be right back,” he tells her anyway, eyes dropping longingly to the serene face of his sleeping son. He’s heard that about babies and car rides.

Jogging up the driveway, he does a doubletake of a ragged slash in the wall between Wanda’s property and her neighbour’s. There’s not exactly anything wrong with a damaged cinderblock or an amateur handyman job, but the crevice in the stone stands out in a world so aggressively styled and manicured.

Wishing for the reassurance of his gun at his hip in case things go south (it’s the first time he’s even thought about the gun since the night he and Darcy arrived), Jimmy enters the Vision residence without knocking.

Orienting himself to what he was just watching on TV in a house less than a mile from here, he walks across the entryway, attracting the attention of both Wanda and Monica. They’re standing across from each other in the living room. Raising his hands to show he intends no harm, Jimmy sweeps his eyes over the scene in assessment, like he has a hundred times before. Monica’s expression is alarmed under superficial friendliness—the look of someone trying to placate an attacker. With her aggressive, forward-leaning posture and the way she’s positioned herself between Monica and the cribs (he’s surprised to see more than one, but he did miss some of the episode while he was delivering his son in their bathtub), Wanda fits that role.

“Wanda,” he says, taking a step towards the seating area, “you don’t want to hurt her.”

“Are you working with her?” Wanda demands. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you before.”

“James Woo. I’m not here to hurt you. Neither is Geraldine.”

“You don’t want to hurt me? Then why do you come asking questions? Saying things—” He can see her chin wobble from here as she teeters on the edge of tears. “—about Pietro. You didn’t know my brother.”

Her statement is directed at Monica, but Jimmy tries to bring her focus back to him. Of himself and the Captain, he’s the one with an exit at his back, whereas Monica’s hemmed in by a large bookcase.

“I didn’t know your brother,” Jimmy agrees. “I do know about him, but we don’t need to talk about that. I don’t want to upset you, Wanda, I just want you to let me leave with Geraldine.”

“Oh, I’ll let you leave,” Wanda says, cocking her head as she raises her hands. This motion conveys the opposite meaning to Jimmy’s—she does intend them harm.

He’s contemplating what’ll happen if he tries to rush her when Darcy charges through the front door he left open.

“Don’t!” Jimmy gasps, making a grab for her, but his body is tense with caution and Darcy has the momentum to dodge him, stepping down the level into the living room.

“Look,” Darcy demands of Wanda, whose expression is torn as she chooses between facing Monica and this new intruder.

Jimmy’s mentally composing and rejecting ideas of how to proceed when their unwelcoming host lowers her hands. She’s looking where Darcy directed her to, at the baby in Darcy’s arms.

“He was born less than an hour ago, and I only found out I was pregnant yesterday, but that doesn’t matter. I know it’s the same for you, the circumstances and the… yeah, whatever. You know about the Big Bang, right?” she continues, jumping to the next thought.

“Yes,” Wanda says carefully.

Jimmy’s terrified to move closer and set Wanda on the offensive again. He glances at Monica, who seems to be thinking the same thing, frozen in place.

“From nothing to so much, in an instant,” Darcy’s saying in her condensed history of the universe. “Science is supposed to be full of all these rules. Like, every scientist dude important enough to remember had some law or formula or method that we map everything on top of when we’re pretending we understand all this. Being in science isn’t a goal I’ve had for a long time—I mean, I probably wouldn’t be in it now if the world hadn’t more or less ended—and if all I ever heard about the workings of the universe was rules, I would’ve stayed away. Who likes rules, right? Who wants to be told that things are the way they are because something outside of your control says so? My point is…”

She takes a deep breath, then another one, shifting until she’s blocking Wanda’s expression from Jimmy’s view.

“Sorry, I just gave birth, you know how it is,” Darcy says when she goes on. Jimmy’s stricken with exasperation, adoration, fear, and pride. “My point is that I love science because, while science is laws and rules and equations, science is also standing outside at night and staring up at the dark. There are explanations for every light that’s up there and why, even when you’re away from big cities and the sky seems so black and close, you don’t fall up into it, although it kinda feels like you could. Science can tell me why, and it still feels like magic when I look at the stars. And we’ve all been traveling out here in space together, getting made and unmade and made again because the right ingredients needed to create something as precious as a planet, or a baby, or the clay that’ll make the bricks that’ll make the house never disappear. Suns explode, asteroids collide and get chipped away… things can separate down to their smallest part, life can…”

“End?” Wanda asks.

Jimmy’s stunned to hear the word come out choked. Cautiously, he leans to get a glimpse of Wanda’s face. It’s covered in tears. Darcy’s nodding.

“But everything’s valuable. All matter gets reused.” Jimmy wants to grab her and pull her to safety when she takes a step closer to Wanda. “I get it if you’re sad and you’re not ready to talk about it. I’m not gonna say it’s ok, because I’ve heard Monica’s testimonial on exactly how much it sucks to have you in her head, but I do think you should let us leave now so you have a few friends out there when you inevitably need people on your side.”

“You can go,” Wanda agrees, swiping at her nose. “I won’t hurt your baby.”

“You’re not going to hurt my friend either,” Darcy says, beckoning for Monica to cross the room behind her. “Or my husband.”

“No,” Wanda says.

Monica reaches Jimmy and they wait for Darcy in the entryway.

“I bet all that control feel really good,” Darcy theorizes. “Taking it into your own hands. But I think you know that focusing on the beautiful, magical stuff doesn’t mean the rules no longer exist. Maybe you can find a way to accept them both.”

“It’s time for you to leave,” Wanda says, firmer now.

“Not looking for a life coach, got it.”

She joins Jimmy and Monica, bouncing the baby lightly in her arms. Wanda ushers them out of the house ahead of her. Jimmy glances back to see her close the door after herself with a twist and red glow of her hands.

“What about waiting in the car?” he mutters to Darcy as they stride down the lawn.

His self-proclaimed wife stares at him.

“I’m not the kind of person who waits in the car. Would the kind of person who waits in the car give a speech like that?”

Jimmy’s at an honest-to-goodness loss for words.

She gets into the car willingly enough now, Jimmy in the passenger’s seat while Monica slides behind the wheel.

“Wanda’s told me how to stand, how to move, how to walk since I got in here,” Monica says, turning the key in the ignition. “I’m driving myself out.”

“It’ll part for you when you get there,” Wanda calls to them from the lawn. “The barrier. I suggest you do not attempt to enter again.”

“I think we’ve all had our fill,” Jimmy informs her cheerfully through his rolled-down window.

She doesn’t respond to this, so Monica executes a three-point turn and takes them back up the street the way they came. From there, they turn out of the subdivision, but Jimmy snags a last look at Wanda through the back window. There’s a light breeze blowing her dress and hair and she looks like she could be anyone. A suburban mom of twins? Why not. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever see her again in person, but he has plans to catch her show.

“Wanda’s changed the roads,” Monica says as she drives. For his son’s sake, Jimmy’s grateful that she isn’t speeding, though he wouldn’t blame her for trying to get out of here as quickly as possible. “None of them lead out of town.”

“Literal tourist trap. Brilliant,” Darcy declares from the back seat. Jimmy reaches an arm back blindly and feels her close her hand around his.

“But,” Monica adds, “I remember Ellis Avenue being the closest cross street to the edge of town. We find that, then drive over the grass. Things may get a little bumpy.”

“We’ll survive.”

Jimmy twists around to look at Darcy. He nods. They will. They’ll survive.

They cross Ellis and take the car off-road. The barrier remains invisible, but…

“I can feel it,” Darcy says.

“Like we did the day we came in,” Jimmy recalls.

“It still wants us out,” Monica interprets. He sees her staring uneasily ahead. “Was I naïve to think I could change anything by coming in here?”

“No, Captain. It was brave.”

“Didn’t work though. We aren’t leaving with Wanda.”

“It could work,” Darcy says. “We left her with a few things to think about. We’ll watch WandaVision and see.”

“That’ll be strange after being a part of it.”

“You think so?” Jimmy wonders. He takes a deep breath, enjoying the fresh air and the sunshine, playing with Darcy’s fingers laced through his. “I think it’s returning to regular life that’s going to feel strange. Out there, it’s easy to see all this as a TV show, but everything in here is real.”

“We’ll make Hayward understand that.”

“I’m bringing back some compelling evidence,” Darcy says, followed by kissy sounds directed at Jimmy Jr.

The air just a couple of car lengths ahead of them abruptly glows red as Wanda reveals the wall of the Hex. Jimmy and Monica exchange a look, but she doesn’t slow down. They pass through without resistance. All of a sudden, it’s night. Monica lets out a relieved sigh.

The S.W.O.R.D. base is looming, exterior lights ablaze, but Jimmy looks backwards, checking that Darcy and the baby are alright.

“Same as you left us,” she says, pulling back the blanket to show him the face of his son.

He gives her a slightly melancholic smile.

“Not quite, Dr. Lewis.”

“I’ll have a lot of work to do,” Darcy notes thoughtfully, “but time for you and me to go on dates will be on my list of demands.”

“You have a list of demands?” Monica asks, laughter in her voice.

“After being forced into the Hex, where I could’ve lost my life? Fuck yes, I have a list.”

“What else are you asking for?”

“The coffee I requested on day one and a desk in a better spot so there’s room next to it for the crib that will also be on my list.”

Monica laughs aloud now.

“Is this a benefits negotiation or a baby shower registry?”

“Let’s get back to the part where we’re going on dates,” Jimmy says. “How’s that going to work?”

“Jimmy, darlin’,” Darcy begins, “will you go out with me?”

He leans to look around his seat at her.

“Darcy, we were married. We have a baby. Don’t you think we can—”

“Answer the question, Agent Woo.”

“Of course I’ll go out with you,” he says.

“And that’s how it works. Easy-peasy.”

She gives his hand a squeeze before releasing it to hold Jimmy Jr. more securely as Monica pulls up to a building and brakes. Already, S.W.O.R.D. agents are rushing out to meet them, but Jimmy drops back against his seat and smiles to himself.

“‘Easy-peasy.’”

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Do you have any Tumble and Asparagys Jr father/son hcs?

I absolutely do!

-There's this post I made a while ago about Tumble imprinting on Asparagus. tl;dr I think Tumble was adopted, but didn't exactly stick to anyone in particular until Rags showed up. Tiny kitten brain immediately said: Ah yes, this is the one. Tumble doesn't remember saying this at all, but when prompted as a young kitten as to why he picked Asparagus, he would continue whatever he was doing, and in his little squeaky voice, very matter-of-factly, say that "You smell right"

-Tumble's a very graceful dancer and an even better acrobat and this is a very high point of pride for Asparagus (He has been on the end of dozens of "Hey dad! Watch my trick!"s, and yes he knows his son's a bit of a showoff - that kinda runs in the family. He's used to it). He will very proudly talk about this fact, often ending the boast with: "And he certainly didn't get it from me - thank Cat for that"

-This one is my favourite, and I talk about it all the time and will literally tell anyone who will listen, but Tumble was *very* clingy as a kitten and always wanted to be held and would whimper and cry when he was put down. The other cats find this extremely funny because Asparagus was always the one that's wary about holding any of the kittens because he's scared he'll drop them. The irony is not lost on any of them.

If he wasn't being held, he'd crawl right under his dad and poke his head out under from his chin and just *sit there* until he was shooed out. It's Asparagus' fault though, really, because he indulged him all the time (Tumble was like...a little spoiled as a baby). Jelly said he'd grow out of it, but you will *still* find Tumble draped over his dad's back should the mood suit him.

-As an extension to that, Tumble would tag along with his dad so often that it became a staple to see Asparagus and then Tumble trailing right after him, or Asparagus talking and Tumble shyly peering out from behind him (Sometimes, when he was invited along to something, he'd make a big show of considering it before sighing a: "I don't know, I'll have to ask the manager. What say you, dear?" and looking down to see how Tumble's expression twists or head shakes - has he occasionally gotten out of invitations he didn't really want to accept anyway this way? Maybe). They actually like hanging around one another (not that he gave him much of a choice), and Tumble likes being able to help him out as he gets older. He's a bit of a goody goody, you know.

-Tumble's favourite stories to be told are The Prince and the Pauper and The Wizard of Oz. He likes how his dad will pitch his voice with the different characters and cackle like the Wicked Witch. Asparagus has two little hardback books from when he was little tucked away somewhere, with their spines worn completely useless from how many times Tumble would open them (pages are falling out), and curled corners from when he'd put it them in his mouth ("Appraising their value, are we Tumble? Good quality paper is it? Most cats just take a look, maybe a sniff, but not my boy. No, he goes directly into the thick of it.")

-And this is his favourite lullaby (but he will *willingly deny* any suggestion that he's still a baby and likes when his dad sings him to sleep - he is a *grown cat* thank you. But dad can still sing it to me sometimes because *he* wants to and I don't want to make him upset, right? Right.)

-Asparagus isn't much of a verbal scolder with Tumble (or with really any of the kittens as is - he lets them get away with a lot considering how stern he tends to be), but will give this *look*that immediately lets Tumble know that his dad means business. And if the look is ignored, that's strike one. If he's swatted at you that's a warning that you should absolutely take because he's at the end of his rope and he's a *patient* cat but he has limits.

-Asparagus is full of dad advice that makes 0 sense (he became a dad later in life so some of it is very old fashioned but he's trying), but Tumble's so used to hearing him roundaboutly pinpoint things in his own odd way that he's grown to understand what he means ("I don't understand metaphors, Uncle Gus" "I do - he's saying that if you don't even try it you won't know if it works out or not").

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Jane Foster’s child

Jane Foster x child!reader

Thor Odinson x Foster!child!reader

warnings:

a/n: no not a foster child, jane foster’s child 😌 also im so super glad you liked those!!! hope these are just as good!!! and im genuinely so sorry these took so long

prompt: anonymous: “Hey! I just read the Tony Stark x Potts!child!reader HC and I loved it! Would you do the same but with Thor and Jane? ❤️”

no babysitter = go to work with mom

dr. selvig gave you a rubik’s cube to keep you entertained

“fuck that! here, y/n, you can play my DS” -darcy

“can you not swear in front of my child?” -jane

you thought tonight would be boring, but then your mom and darcy collectively hit a homeless guy with a car!

“holy crap, we’re all going to jail!” -you

“don’t say ‘crap,’ y/n! we need to get him to a hospital!” -jane

ngl this dude was kinda funky

darcy used her taser and your mom covered your eyes, but you still peaked ;)

ride to the hospital

“don’t touch him, y/n”

“sorry, doc”

and the very next day you guys stole him 💕

“mr. thor, where are you from?”

“i am from asgard! it is much different from this realm, but your’s is adequate, i suppose”

“thanks?”

you could see the way your mom looked at him, though

he ate all the pop tarts >:(

she gave thor her ex boyfriends clothes

“yeah, donald was a real ass—” -you

“don’t say ‘ass.’ darcy curses too much” -jane

“sorry, mom...anyways, donald forgot to pick me up from soccer practice like, a dozen times. he sucked” -you

“this ‘donald’ doesn’t seem like a very good man...also, what is ‘soccer?’” -thor

you grabbed a soccer ball and tried to show him how to play but there was some other stuff the *scientists* had to take care of

you were a regular at izzy’s diner (well, mom was) and they always made you cute pancakes in different shapes!!

“ah, it’s a smiley face! that’s adorable!” -thor

“yeah! they like to surprise me whenever i come in. they’re pretty awesome” -you

*your mom literally beaming at how good thor is with you already*

you and thor were drawing on paper placemats

and then he broke a glass and you started giggling hdhshshs

but he had to leave

“no, thor, please don’t go!”

“i hope to meet you again one day, little one. hopefully fate sees it through”

:((((

no time to be sad bc ur mom’s lab got hijacked by the government

“hey, no fair! that’s my diary!” -you

“sorry, kid. there are constellation drawings we have to observe” -coulson

“aw, you draw constellations? wait, not now. you can’t just take all our stuff. especially that! that belongs to a child!” -jane

“sic ‘em, y/n!” -darcy

“don’t listen to darcy, y/n” -selvig

chilling in the trailer and missing thor bc he was the most interesting thing to happen to you and your mom in a while

and you wanted her to be happy even tho he was kind of crazy

“hey, mom? do you want to watch the stars tonight like we used to do? we could make s’mores?”

“that sounds like a great idea, baby! i’ve gotta go take care of some science stuff, so i’ll pick up some s’mores stuff while i’m out. love you!”

yeah she went to go see thor and he kinda got arrested but your mom came back home so you could watch the stars!

“so, do you like thor?” -you

“what? what makes you say that?” -jane

“it’s cool if you do, i think he’s awesome. a little weird, but at least he’s nice”

then thor and selvig came home and selvig was drunk as a skunk

*poking him while he giggles and tells you about thor*

“i wish your grandfather could have met that guy! he would have loved him...i wish you met your grandfather, too” -selvig

thor inviting you back outside

“i’d like you to teach me more about this ‘soccer’”

by the time you guys were done, it was 3am and you were too pumped to go to sleep

so thor told you stories of his home and battle and family

you didn’t want him to stop, you were fascinated by it all

and uhhhh yeah then earth kinda had some vikings show up

they told you that you’d “make a fine warrior one day”

and then yall got attacked by a ????? a what??? a destroyer???????

“get y/n out of here now! they shouldn’t have to see this!” -thor

you were still nearby and saw thor become thor again

after he was done fighting the destroyer, you ran to give him a hug

“that was awesome! can i hold your hammer?”

“maybe someday, little one”

then you didn’t see him for 2 years

which upset your mom a good bit, you had to help her through that episode. lots of sitting on the couch and eating ice cream together talking about how he wasn’t worth her time even tho you missed him too

but he came back! and then your mom sent everything flying bc she had an “infinity stone” inside her and thor took you two to asgard

“y/n! you’ve grown so much, i almost didn’t recognize you!” -thor

tbh you really digged the outfit they gave you, but also you were on another planet? thor insisted on giving you a tour (by flying you around)

“i do hope you’re having fun, little one!”

worrying about your mom simultaneously bc you overheard she was sick

but asgard got attacked and you and jane were confined to a room in the palace, which sucked because you wanted to see it all

but thor sent guards to bring you anything to keep you entertained

“maybe we’ll skip the mace for now, thank you” -jane

after several events that count as child endangerment, this chapter came to an end and your mom and thor finally made it official

loki called you a rodent and then saved your life so you were kinda iffy about him

about a year or two later, your mom had to travel a great deal in order to get some work done, so you were left in the care of thor, who took you to avengers tower

“oh, my girlfriend’s child is an angel! and they’re so intelligent, just like their mother!” -thor gushing to other partygoers

“yeah, thor, your ‘angel’ is sneaking drinks from the elderly” -tony

*sipping his beer* “they’re a growing teenager”

you did have an amazing time interacting with the avengers

and once they tried grabbing the hammer, you knew you had to get in on it (but you failed like the rest)

“don’t worry, my y/n, you have to be eighteen years of age to be able to lift mjölnir!” -thor

“oh, that makes sense!” -you, while thor aggressively shakes his head at the other avengers. he just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel bad you weren’t worthy yet :(

more child endangerment but really what did you expect?

thor went off world and your mom split it off w him but you did have his email so you were still in contact with him

swearing you saw odin on the street once or twice (fast forward)

and then your mom dusted and thor found you as soon as he possibly could, it was so good to see him

he took you in since you were alone now, you moved to new asgard and became prince(ss) of the new land by relation?? makes sense right

basically you and valkyrie made all the calls while thor grieved for years

but he still took care of you

“y/n, would you like to play video games with me? i think it may be a good bonding experience, what do you say?” -thor

“duh!”

uncle korg made you help him with fortnite while thor was asleep

you wished to wield stormbreaker one day

showing thor earth media! his favorite star wars character is r2-d2 dont ask why

he taught you asgardian recipes and you taught him...earth recipes?

when he was drunk he’d ramble on about his childhood and battle and enemies and jane and loki and hela and frigga and literally anything that came to mind

“y/n, could you please get me a beer? and get one for yourself, too” -thor

valkyrie most definitely gave you some battle training so you you blow off some steam, you were glad she taught you how to fight like a true warrior

thor wanted to teach you battle tactics so you could fight alongside him, but he never got around to it

a raccoon and bruce banner visited later on, proposing a way to get your family back, thor was an emotional wreck

his debriefing on the reality stone was tense when he started crying about your mom and everyone stared at you

“hey, don’t look at me. i don’t control the god, i just keep him company”

ending up waiting 1 second for the avengers to come back from their mission, resulting in you being stuck in the middle of a very heavy battle

“y/n, get out of here!” -thor

“don’t worry, thor! valkyrie taught me a few moves!”

“you make me incredibly proud, little one!”

“i’m not so little anymore, am i?”

“you will always be my little one, y/n. blood or not, that will not change!”

victory, but at what cost? it was a rough ride, you needed to get patched up, but your mom was finally home and thor...he decided it was time to leave earth again

“don’t worry, my y/n. i will see you again.” *tearing up* “i’m so glad i got the pleasure of raising you these past few years. i love you dearly, now go be with your mother”

you straight up wanted to bawl your eyes out right there

“well, y/n, you’re next in line for the throne of new asgard. what is your first command?” -valkyrie

“actually, i think you’d make a much better ruler than me. i’ve got to spend some time with my mother now that she’s home”

“you’re so much like him, you know that?”

staying with your mother, who was diagnosed with cancer not long after returning from the soul stone (a/n: jane getting cancer is canon in the comics and confirmed for thor 4)

“i missed five years of your life and now i’m sick, that’s just our luck, isn’t it?” -jane

she was understandably upset, but she also felt guilty

“mom, don’t beat yourself up. everything is okay, we’re still together right now. i won’t be going anywhere, i promise”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiantfavs // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck //

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[in-starkestday-in-bannerednight]

The MCU doesn’t understand Peter Parker.

Civil War did a good job introducing Spiderman into the fold organically and Homecoming was a nice starting point for Peter. BUT The MCU does not allow Peter Parker to face the consequences of his actions & grow on a personal level via his own journey (unattached to others like Tony). A lot of people praised Homecoming for how accurate the teenager vibes were yet that authenticity and insecurity is limited to Peter Parker and not extended to Spiderman’s world. In Infinity War, Peter’s jump into battle with Tony makes sense due to the foster parent relationship and hero mentality, but after they save Dr. Strange on the ship, Spiderman’s confidence should start to waver. Tony warns him this is a one way trip, and Peter shows no signs of hesitation or fear despite a clear lack of experience (which for an awkward & clumsy teenager is unrealistic AF). Instead the MCU uses him as comedic fodder, throwing movie references and innocent child-like naivete to brush aside the potential for a very human and relatable situation where a kid is trying to prove their worth, in way over their head, and could experience doubt, anxiety, and embarassment over the choices made and about to be made. Consequences do not carry over the MCU for Peter and that is a huge lost opportunity. Flash forward to Peter literally DYING AND SENSING DEATH ARRIVING at the end of Infinity War. A brilliant emotional beat and twist...that in no capacity ever affects Peter in Endgame or Far From Home. Tony Stark experienced immense PTSD, nightmares, and near heart attacks from just witnessing alien invaders. PETER FOUGHT A GOD IN SPACE & DIED and never is shown to be emotionally or psychologically effected. Instead all his character’s emotional capacity is put toward Tony Stark. Again. So this comparison and idea of legacy is more important than the characters arc or journey as a superhero earning his keep? If you don’t commit to consequences, the risks or stakes lose value. Peter doesn’t want to bring his suit to Europe because of TONY’S DEATH not HIS OWN. What about the notion of a uniform that places burden on oneself (LIKE a cop, a doctor, a soldier, or other roles that require immense willpower and are associated with heroism).    There’s no exploration of how his secret identity is damaged by the actions of his public one/vice versa? Tony Stark himself faced terrorist threats because of his Iron Man displays, Steve Rogers BEST FRIEND IN LIFE was purposefully used against him as a weapon that nearly killed him, Natasha Romanoff forgave Clint Barton for killing SHIELD operatives because she made difficult decisions fighting him and surviving THANKS to him when she was a teenager.

Where is Peter Parker’s personal struggle and when does it EVER manifest in the MCU? Will it ever NOT be undercut by jokes? You’d think after dying, he would question the choice to be Spiderman at all. In Spiderman 2 (Sam Raimi version) Peter concerns himself with how capable he is at saving and helping people. This fear and indecision leads to him LOSING his powers, a huge consequence and moment for audiences to relate to those everyday anxieties or responsibility and how capable a person can be. In the MCU this never happens. Peter knows other heroes exist and can fill in the blanks as he figures out his mental well being. If what’s left of the Avengers at the beginning of Endgame could handle Earth’s problems, post Endgame why couldn’t he ask one hero to fill in for New York (like DAREDEVIL) while he deals with everything he endured? The answer is the same reason why Peter Parker and Spiderman are consistently detached from one another’s actions; Tony Stark. Tony being a father figure is fine. But the MCU’s obsession with Peter taking that role and position means there’s no room to dive deeper into Peter’s intentions and Spiderman specific journey. The comics always explored the roots of very human choices and difficulties Peter faced, both in and out of costume, and WONDERFULLY manifested his human problems into hero problems by evolving those issues. But comedy and Tony Stark disable Peter from actively carving his own path and mark on the MCU. In Far From Home, at his lowest point, instead of having to deal with all the consequences thrown his way and created by his actions, Happy Hogan shows up in a cozy private plane, he jokes about Peter renting P0rn in Germany, gives him a half-assed pep talk about TONY, and suddenly building a new spiderman suit is all Peter needs to OVERCOME his emotional, psychological, and physical betrayal by Mysterio? What. The. Fuck.

Lastly, the MCU has used any consequential story thread for Peter and Spiderman as a punchline.THREE TIMES. In Civil War post credits, Peter jokes about being bullied is given a whole UI from Tony, gazes like a kid on christmas (with no regard as to how he almost died just for Tony Stark’s benefit). In Homecoming Aunt May finding out his secret is a joke and never analyzed deeper, making it a surface level punchline gag and removing the moral and familial weight of May and Peter’s relationship. In Far From Home Peter has his identity revealed at the end of Far From Home in the exact same punchline gag way. In the end, I think a big part of why Spiderman/Peter Parker are so disconnected is the creative team behind the films (solo ones especially). Directors are a dime a dozen, and while consistency is important (specifically for Avengers films) I think fresh ideas and perspectives are more important. I’m disappointed Jon Watts is returning for Spiderman 3, I was underwhelmed with Far From Home. Please let Peter Parker be himself, stop relying on Tony, CUT BACK THE JOKES that interrupt emotional beats, and give someone else the directing reigns. Please.

[acertaincritic]

Anyway, I still have not actually sat down to watch “Shadow & Bone”, but here are some more thoughts about the MC’s racebending, since I got some comments and I want to clarify things.

TL;DR First off, nothing that’s done with S&B would be a problem if there were more Russian mainstream series.

That’s my big point of contention, honestly. You’re appropriating a culture that’s ~90% white for your fantasy world. That 90% is made up of ethnic Russians, but also Ukrainians, Tatars, and a number of other ethnicities. Still, ethnic Russians are a majority at 70% of the country’s population.

(If you’re thinking, whaa, it’s racist for a country to be 90% white.... You’re racist. Not every place is a big immigration destination, for starters, nor does it have to be. Not every place is the US. Lots of countries are racially, though not necessarily ethnically, homogenous. Just take a cursory glance at Asia and Africa.)

Now, “Shadow and Bone” is the only Big Mainstream Thing with Russian influence. Sure, it’s inaccurate. You can tell the author can’t speak Russian, has done very little actual research before writing her first book, all that. But it’s still very clearly meant to be Russia-inspired.

There are perhaps other books you can find if you scratch the bottom of the barrel, some actually written with proper care and research. But they aren’t the one cultural event that is now talked about on Twitter. They aren’t the one that was no.1 on Netflix in every place in the world and will likely remain so for some time still. They aren’t mainstream.

See, Americans are pretty good at exporting their own culture at the cost of the local writers and entertainment industries. If someone is going to buy, say, one book a month, they enter the bookstore and ~85% of books on the SFF shelves are translated from English.... How many local authors will they support vs the American/British ones? And then the American/British authors get to live off their writing, often thanks to multiple foreign sales, all the while the local authors will be extremely lucky if their books are translated to like, one single foreign language. It limits the opportunities for the local writers, and limits their ability to write full-time. You think it’s hard to do in the US? Hah, try doing it in literally any other country than maybe China.

(On that note, China has a robust entertainment complex, partly because they are so large, and partly because they specifically limit the number of foreign movies being translated and showed in local cinemas. Which means, if you feel American movies lack Chinese rep... There’s thousands of movies and dramas with only Chinese people in them right next to you.)

I wonder if an American can actually wrap their mind around this fact. Like, imagine you go into a bookstore and majority of books are translated from Chinese. Or from Russian. Or from another, foreign culture. You don’t even know how lucky you are and how American-centric your industry is, all the while effectively colonizing all the smaller industries around the way Amazon is undermining local bookstores.

You don’t see the privilege you have.

And that 85% I brought up? It’s actually a big improvement thanks to the local movements and increased awareness, at least in my country. Even just five years ago when I went into a bookstore to buy a new SFF book for my brother’s birthday, all but one book series were translated from English. And that one book series was sth he already read.

So now we have this one - a single one - Russia-inspired fantasy story. Even if it’s imperfect, it is clearly coded Russian. There are Russian clothes, Russian names (even if often misused due to lack of research), words borrowed from Russian. And it’s the only Russian-coded story that people who are not inherently interested in Russian culture are going to pick up.

And you look at it... and you decide you know what? This story based on the culture that’s 90% white, it’s *not diverse enough*. To us, Americans, who see themselves in nearly every mainstream movie and mainstream book, it doesn’t seem tasteful that so many white people are in it!

And you take not just any character, but the protagonist, the MC, the Chosen One, the hero, and you racebend her. Not just her, but her Love Interest, too. The other charas, like the antagonists or the less-than-ideally-moral side characters? Sure, they can stay white, coded as Russian. But the main role and her love interest, nah, we’re going to racebend them. And what’s worse? You couldn’t just stop there and be happy. You had to go a step further and put US-specific racism in it.

By not only racebending the MC but also making her continuously face US-typical racism, you’re effectively alienating her from her home culture. You’re saying “This person isn’t entirely Ravkian (read: Russian)”. You’re making the hero not only someone who doesn’t look like the majority of Russians, but is also very specifically separated from her culture by racism which you, Americans, imposed on the source material.

You just can’t stand for one mainstream series to not be about you for a change, can you?

In doing so, you made a fantasy movie about Wakanda with a white protagonist and a white love interest. It’s only because of your American lens that you don’t see it.

Like yeah, I read the casting a while ago. I didn’t bat an eye back then. Sure, racebending of the MC is tendentious, but I was happy to accept it. After all, Russian-Chinese people surely exist.

It’s specifically the casting COMBINED with the alienation of the racebent protagonist from the culture the books are inspired by, via artificial inclusion of US-specific racism, that’s the problem here.

Keep the actor, throw away the slurs. Or keep one slur to show that sure, racists exist everywhere, but throw away the other dozen. Make the protagonist actually connected with the culture she’s the Chosen One for, make her feel like she belongs in the country she’s going to save.

If you think I’m racist for asking for this much... The block button is up there.

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Hi could you talk more about why youd recommend not watching ww84?

Sure!

warnings for under the cut: spoilers for WW84 and a bit of the first wonder woman; i only saw WW84 once a few days ago + it’s been a hot sec since i saw the original so if i get a few details wrong i apologize

tl;dr with no spoilers: WW84 is a poorly executed movie that insults its viewer with its messy and self-proud plot, bad character/relationship portrayals, and offers a personal slap in the face to a majority of its audience in their various discriminations, generalizations, and plot points.

the first point is the racism, made well by the post i reblogged here, (edit: found a second post that goes more in depth here) so i’d just suggest looking at that for that matter

next is just How they portray wonder woman in this one

i really appreciated the way the first movie portrayed diana because they did very well in keeping true to her Amazonian raising and life while still clearly showing she was a woman

when i say this i mean that a lot of media has a tendency to either make women who are very fem and keep to traditional gender roles or women who more or less shun femininity and attempt to largely fulfill only male gender roles

diana in the original is a warrior, strong and fierce, but still a woman, not trying to shun that or anything. she wears styles that suit her while still being woman’s styles (she doesn’t force her way into a suit), she talks of and addresses her womanhood proudly and without issue, etc

i want to note here i have no issue with female characters who act extremely masc and reject femininity- i love them tbh- but it’s important to remember that it’s not inherently against womanhood or anything to be a strong fighter who doesn’t stick to every stereotypical social gender norm

and the first wonder woman movie shows this very well

WW84... oh boy

first of all, wonder woman’s changing outfits every other scene. even between scenes where it makes no sense! i’m not saying she can only wear one set of clothes but Geez this was too much

not to mention an entire scene dedicated to her helping steve pick a fashion look? i understand this was to highlight the ‘80-ness of the movie, and it would’ve been fine if it seemed diana was helping him pick a period appropriate look, but it was clear she was trying to help him pick a ‘fashionable’ look which. wonder woman? from the island without a sense of popular outfits or fashion? what?

and the amount of focus on her wearing high heels.... ugh

i’m not saying you can’t have a badass woman who also likes social gender norm fem things but it felt clear that wasn’t what they were going for

wonder woman in the first movie liked practical fashion and not only were many of her outfits not that, her high heels? one hundred percent not practical

it didn’t fit her character and felt horribly out of place, clearly just the producers / directors / whoever going ‘oh, wonder woman is a woman how can we show this? fashion! high heels!’ and i hated it

(warning: imma be jumping from thought to thought as they bump into each so uh... enjoy the train-of-thought style of flaw informing)

and starting at the beginning like.... wow that scene had no purpose

wonder woman cheats in a competition and is punished for this by losing it in the end. except. this is stupid for two reasons

as the audience is shown she didn’t cheat on purpose. she made a mistake, lost her horse, and made a strategy to get back into the race despite this. honestly? i thought the story was going to be a lesson in ingenuity in the worst looking situations. but it wasn’t, which is bad storytelling, because the lesson is then based on a point that isn’t even that true

it is literally Never important again later. unless you count what was going on with the wishstone as ‘cheating to victory’ which i dont. that’s not even what the villain did. he wanted to take over the world. there’s no victory there you get without cheating. wtf. why did that message even happen

going into the actual story we meet the cheetah pretty quick, when she’s still whatever-her-civilian-name-is

and the cheetah... she’s such a bad villain

she doesn’t have the same backstory as she does in the comics

in this one, she uses the wishstone- which is a whole ‘nother thing in and of itself- to wish to be like diana, because ig being smart as hell but social awkward as hell too is so bad you need to desperately wish to be someone else? i hate that trope, but onwards-

she gets that, but in exchange for not only diana’s likable personality she also gets her wonder woman powers (and she loses her glasses, because pretty and cool means no glasses, right? /s), she loses her kindness bc of the rules of the wishstone- in exchange for your wish, it takes smth u care about a lot from you; for her, it was her kindness

this makes her villain! just because she lost her kindness. yep. honestly not a good look regarding all those people out there who are low/no empathy and can still be wonderful nice people but i digress

at one point she complains about why she needs to keep her power rather than go back to being just Her and i fucking wanted to scream

she has like. half a dozen degrees, clearly a couple of friends even if she’s awkward, and she’s got a life that was perfectly okay before she made the wish. as someone who is also socially awkward as hell, it infuriated me to here her acting like it was the fucking end of the world she couldn’t be more extroverted or whatever. there are ways to work on that!!! the movie trying to convince the audience she had a legit reason to not un-wish her wish (for the good of the entire world) was stupid and insulting

also her transformation between ‘looks human, wearing cheetah-pattern clothing‘ to ‘humanoid with cheetah fur/skin/appearance’ literally just. happened. for no reason. that was stupid

y’know what else is stupid? the wishstone. it was clearly just a plot device, and a poorly executed one at that. it isn’t even consistent in how it works

and they did a whole side thing with like. how it had the language of the gods written on part of it and it appeared in random locations across history around the time of great tragedies and,,, that was it???

they never explored the divine connection??? who planted it or why??? how it location traveled or anything????

like i said. poor plot device

i move on now to steve

oh boy steve

he’s brought back to life by diana’s wish on the wishstone, but... it causes him to come back in someone else’s body, quantum leap style. this is. weird. and is never ever addressed by him or wonder woman except once in a throw away comment. like. diana and steve kiss and are implied to have sex while steve is in someone else’s body and neither of them seem to care. this is not good!!

and then his relationship with diana? HORRIBLE

in the first movie they were barely starting to fall in love, only barely a couple even if that. more importantly they were friends, and that night he died diana didn’t lose a potential lover so much as she lost her first non-Amazonian friend

but WW84 portrays their relationship as if they were not only already a couple, but one close enough that even after forty years since steve’s death diana is still completely and hopelessly in love with him to the point that she’s literally hanging off his arm as soon as he’s back and making love that very night

it plays again once more into the misrepresentation of wonder woman’s character (how stereotypically hollywood female to fall over herself at the sight of her love interest) and it wrecks their relationship, which had been a lovely friends-who-could-be-more

what they should’ve done was focus on that friendship, build it back up after the long gap for wonder woman, and then started to rebuild that possible romance (and tear it down at the perfect moment... right when steve had to go again... ah that would’ve been lovely)

but they wanted to go in full-haul on the romance and it just felt. wrong and weak to me. diana’s refusal to consider giving up her wish (to get her powers back and save the world) is bc she doesn’t want to let steve go again, which makes more sense in the context of a first and true friend rather than a hastily slapped together love interest

steve’s character was generally good tbh but the way he played into the story? bad

moving on... the main villain of the movie? sucks. he’s just. fucking awful

despite a motivation being given that he wants to have money, he launches into wanting to take over the world for no real reason. he takes advantage of people for this and almost destroys the world he wants to rule for it. the main reason he stops this is for his son, who up until now he largely ignored and didn’t seem to care that much for outside of basic obligations. and the movie dares try to make him sympathetic by throwing in the fact he grew up poor and was bullied and not liked which i HATE

lots of people are/have been poor. lots of people are/have been bullied (myself included). that does NOT justify them DESTROYING THE WORLD TRYING TO TAKE IT OVER. can it be used to show the audience why he does what he does? yes. but to use it and clearly try to make it a reason to hand-wave-away what he did? NO. FUCK NO

also fucking. y’know how wonder woman took down this villain? she talked to him and the world. she gave a stirring speech while she laid slumped against a wall, not injured, just too weak to beat a bit of wind. she talked and she looped her lasso around his leg so she could talk to the world to to convince them to give up their wishes

once again... the mischaracterization

in the first movie, wonder woman gives a stirring speech while fighting Areas. it’s done in her battle, beating the god of war up while reminding him of what she stood for, who she was, why she would keep fighting for a broken world

it was BEAUTIFUL. it was MEANINGFUL. it was BADASS but SINCERE

this was weak. and it clearly wanted to be more than it was

the whole movie wants to be more than it is- it wants to have an important meaningful message like the first movie, about wishes for the self and war and the world and whatever. and it wants it so badly it does it horribly

the message is ham-handed yet messy and unclear and not right. it doesn’t make sense, and it feels poorly plotted. the movie thinks it’s more than it is and that makes it very hard to watch

and to finish my rant off... WW84 lied to its audience

did you see any ads for WW84? i did. they were bright, vibrant, funky music, stunning moments, action and intrigue. i was thrilled for a movie like it

the actual movie isn’t that

it’s not nearly as action filled, it’s not as ‘80s-focused as it leads you to believe, some of the most prominently featured moments barely matter

the lightning swing? pointless, as at that point in the movie wonder woman’s learned how to fly and does it for no reason but the trailers

and that cool suit? introduced in a random myth for no reason halfway through the movie, brought in at random with no explanation, only there for show and the trailers

WW84 is not the movie is lead people to believe it was, and the movie it is is poorly executed and insulting to a variety of peopler/minorities

if you’re gonna watch it, pirate it. i can give you a link. just don’t give dc your money or your legit views for it