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#looks like he's dying for our sins
stellarollins · 5 months
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oh my....
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ranger-crisis · 5 months
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I gave her the trans armor, if you even care.
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astonmartinii · 4 days
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fresh out the slammer [guilty as sin part five] | charles leclerc social media au
pairing: charles leclerc x sainz!reader
no court cases, no ferrari PR jail... i'm sure nothing will happen, right?
MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR
f1
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liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername and 1,289,405 others
tagged: olliebearman, francocolapinto & pepemarti
f1: THERE IT IS!!! The 2025 grid is set with Ollie Bearman at Haas, Franco Colapinto at Williams and Pepe Marti at Sauber.
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user317: HOLY SHIT
user318: i hate to celebrate someone losing their job in this economy but FUCK THAT MAN WOO HOO WELCOME TO UNEMPLOYMENT CARLOS SAINZ
olliebearman: can't wait to get started (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
user319: when are you going to recruit pepe and kimi to the leclerc family agenda
pepemarti: y/n has been my celeb crush since i was like 13 (sorry charles) so trust me idc about the spanish guy
olliebearman: he fully doesn't play about y/n, he even tries to read poetry (key word being tries)
pepemarti: you can shame me all you like but i think y/n would appreciate the effort
yourusername: you would be correct !
pepemarti: OMG ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-
charles_leclerc: i'll take you in if you promise you're over your crush on y/n, it would be very inappropriate
pepemarti: I AM I SWEAR
user320: i know carlos gotta be sick seeing the spanish youngster freak out more about his sister
yourusername: i fear he has bigger fish to fry right now
user321: @carlossainz55 BOO! did i scare you? i'm a job application
user322: being on the internet as a sainz fan gotta be torture at this point
user323: former delusional carlando fan here! he brought this upon himself lol
maxverstappen1: evil may be conquered but these three and kimi look like prime candidates to join the united front of hating
yourusername: we gotta get them started while they're young
charles_leclerc: i fear we don't have enough room in the house for all these kids
francocolapinto: do we really need the aussie?
oscarpiastri: i was here before you ???
yourusername: we can get bunkbeds?
olliebearman: does leo really need him own room
charles_leclerc: WATCH THAT TONE
kimiantonelli: i'm quite small if that helps
yourusername: looks like we have a new favourite
pepemarti: ????????
user324: see? carlos loses his job and suddenly all is good in f1 again... coincidence? i think not.
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yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 1,945,209 others
tagged: charles_leclerc, olliebearman & kimiantonelli
yourusername: and the pieces all fall into place ...
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user326: this is a level of motherism we have yet to see in f1
user327: and mother in a literal sense these ones take her up to like five grid kids and one dog
maxverstappen1: don't erase her cat godson and goddaughter
yourusername: leo is almost fully cat trained ( ≧ᗜ≦)
albonpets: do not even think of coming for our brand
yourusername: which one am i talking to?
albonpets: HORSEY
yourusername: ... okay then
charles_leclerc: seriously?
yourusername: i'm not going to fight a (my favourite) albon cat charles, i may have the sainz last name but i'm NOT carlos
charles_leclerc: it'll be leclerc before you know it
yourusername: (˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶)
user328: no because at this point i can fully picture carlos having an argument with a cat
albonpets: we're down to tussle for y/n
user329: i'm dying, carlos lost so bad ALBON PETS ARE SHADING HIM
user330: guys are we ready for monza tho? y/n and charles fully back, the united front of hating back, italy don't play about charles... carlos girl i'd sit this one out it doesn't even matter that you're driving the red car
maxverstappen1: at least it won't be me being booed for once
carlossainz55: i'm not a bitch. if people want to boo me they'll only expose themselves as sheep
oscarpiastri: BAAAA
olliebearman: BAAAA
francocolapinto: BAAAA
kimiantonelli: BAAAA
pepemarti: BAAAA
charles_leclerc: parenthood is so precious
carlossainz55: you think i care that these little runts like you guys? they'll be out the sport faster than your other little pet american
logansargeant: at least i'm pretty
francocolapinto: sorry i can't hear you over my williams seat - you really thought that was gonna be yours huh 🤔
user331: obsessed with how carlos has just resorted to name calling because his only 'ammunition' against y/n is that she always wanted to marry charles and didn't want to work
user332: if that's illegal LOCK ME UP BABY
yourusername: they nearly did 😭
user332: oh yeah my bad g
charles_leclerc
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri and 4,398,400 others
tagged: yourusername
charles_leclerc: fresh out the slammer
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user333: LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO
francocolapinto: VAMOSSSSSS
user334: this was actually insanely poetic, ferrari i'm still angry at you but thank you for this genius strategy
user335: today you are excused, tomorrow we go back to hating
user336: the north remembers
yourusername: never in doubt starboy - i love you, you deserve this so much
charles_leclerc: i love you more, this win is for you after everything we've been through
yourusername: you're too sweet - it's all you baby and the win is all yours, my prize is being. yours
charles_leclerc: so glad we could have all of our REAL family around us today
yourusername: i love you all ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡
oscarpiastri: i guess if there's anyone to lose to here, it would be my grid dad
francocolapinto: if you don't want the P2 i'll gladly take it off of your hands
yourusername: okay babies let's calm down and celebrate that we ALL scored points today
olliebearman: thanks mum and dad
pepemarti: did you guys see my F2 podium (๑>◡<๑)?
charles_leclerc: we did!
yourusername: well done pepe :3
pepemarti: hehehehehehheheheheehehehe
maxverstappen1: oh boy got out of ferrari jail and now we're ALL being subjected to the conjugal visits
charles_leclerc: stay outta my business
maxverstappen1: BROTHER 4 MILLION PEOPLE IN YOUR BUSINESS
yourusername: and four million people know my man is off limits
yourusername: @carlossainz55 stop paying instagram models to flirt with my man
charles_leclerc: @carlossainz55 what money are you using for this i had to close my DMs
user337: HE'S PAYING INSTAGRAM MODELS TO TRY AND FLIRT WITH CHARLES THE VERY GUY WHO HAD HIS CHILDHOOD RIVAL DELIVER LOVE LETTERS WHEN HIS PHONE WAS TAKEN ???
oscarpiastri: we never said carlos was smart
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f1tea
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liked by user339, user340 and 11,943 others
f1tea: the ramifications of the sainz civil war may be a lot worse than previously feared. carlos sainz does not have a seat for the 2025 f1 season and doesn't look like he'll be chosen for a reserve role either with bridges with red bull firmly burnt. however, one of the biggest effects of this 'war' has been on those who still choose to associate with carlos. it's been reported that mclaren have had to turn down a number of sponsors after they asked that it is only run on oscar's car and that lando norris is not seen with the brand. do you think we'll see lando jump ship from carlos or will mclaren become a safehaven for sainz?
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user341: mclaren? a safe haven for carlos sainz? the same mclaren that houses the first child of y/n and charles? i'd like to see them try
user342: finally the carlando PR spin is dead
user343: they way they both thought that was their ultimate get out of jail free card and now it's like incriminating
user344: isn't this all getting a little petty now? like y/n and charles are together and carlos doesn't have a seat? what's the point of keeping all of this drama going?
user345: tbf this 'drama' was never going away the moment they exposed themselves for trying to use their daughter/sister as bait to further carlos' career
user346: if that wasn't downright criminal then unlawfully suing your daughter/sister for everything she rightfully earnt WAS
user347: yeah just because 55 fans and the sainzs themselves want to bury that loss doesn't mean it's not like one of the first things that come up when. you google carlos - of course sponsors are not gonna want ANYTHING to do with that
user348: poor lando getting caught in the petty crossfire
user349: i mean he was shit slinging at y/n after austria and that girl has levels of voodoo only taylor swift can better
user350: he's also a grown man who has seen this all go down behind the scenes so he's made his bed and has to lie in it
user351: the way the sponsors are just piling up for charles as well karma really is doing a number right now
user352: his charm is so universal that oscar is becoming one of the most marketable drivers as well
user353: no but as someone who was on the ground at monza, it's BAD like people were wearing their sainz merch with the 55 or spanish flag covered up
user354: oh he got them acting like middle aged football fans it's BAD
user355: at least they haven't started burning stuff yet
user356: if he takes out charles i fear it won't take long
yourusername
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1 and 1,452,097 others
yourusername: my new poetry and letter collection, the alchemy, is out today and you guys already made it a new york times bestseller. my heart is so full! the last couple months made me feel like i would never get to love so thank you for showing me that everything is possible x
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user357: ma'am i am in love with you
user358: get in line buddy
charles_leclerc: i will run all of you over
maxverstappen1: thank you for the dedication, it was a traumatic time for us all
yourusername: you simply could've not read my private letters to my lover?
maxverstappen1: and where's the fun in that?
yourusername: a pigeon wouldn't have done this to me...
maxverstappen1: yeah well a pigeon also hasn't been your best friend for years and doesn't have a couch and cats to comfort you
yourusername: you make a good point
user359: she's really out here making me believe in love
charles_leclerc: the most talented woman in the world, i'm blessed to be on the receiving end of such words
yourusername: writing is so much easier with a muse like you
charles_leclerc: you're making me blush
user360: sure if my boyfriend was a greek god i'd also write good poetry
charles_leclerc: no you couldn't, not like her
yourusername: (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
lewishamilton: congratulations y/n, what an achievement! however, i do think the real achievement here is getting this grid to read a book
georgerussell63: excuse me?
alexalbon: ... you got me but i wanted the tea ☕️
charles_leclerc: APPRECIATE THE POETRY PEOPLE
alexalbon: funny how the letters were back and forth... but none of yours made it to the book
yourusername: ALEX :(
charles_leclerc: i didn't want my sad ramblings to drag down her shine - i thought you would get that seeing how bad you are at golf compared to lily
lilymunhe: oop.
user361: where are the children
yourusername: eating my cake :(
maxverstappen1: they're actually being really cute and are all sat in a circle reading it (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
charles_leclerc: gotta make sure they can read none of us finished school
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f1
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 2,309,450 others
tagged: maxverstappen1 & carlossainz55
f1: LAST LAP SHUNT! Carlos Sainz takes Max Verstappen out in baku and the two did not mince their words on the radio
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user363: not to be dramatic but that's lowkey attempted murder
user364: at this point carlos is trying to ACTUALLY recreate that list of crimes meme
user365: let's get his ass in JAIL then
oscarpiastri: if i speak i'm in big trouble
carlossainz55: speak it big man - if you wanna act like a big guy back it up
oscarpiastri: okay you are a narcissistic misogynist who can't bear being told no. you are a talented man but without your name you would be nowhere but you lack the selfawareness to be grateful for where you are which is why you don't have a job. you are reckless and dangerous and the very few friends you have will drop you when you no longer serve a purpose in f1
user366: oh shit babe came out swinging
oscarpiastri: i'm hearing a lot of CRICKETS?
oscarpiastri: exactly - pussy.
user367: thank you franco colapinto for bringing back drivers with zero media training
user368: once again i am asking for proximity chat in f1
user369: the sweet souls on twitter would NOT be able to handle it
yourusername: bro tried to assassinate my best friend but i'm the problem
carlossainz55: stop being so dramatic, if anyone was to purposely hurt someone it would be max - look where he came from
yourusername: first of all FUCK YOU
yourusername: second of all, max is stronger than you ever will be, how dare you try and use his childhood against him when you know he's nothing but a gentle soul
yourusername: thirdly, by this logic the reason i'm such a 'gold-digging back-stabbing whore' is because of YOU GUYS
user370: i am absolutely losing it at the fact that carlos is furiously typing these at the fia HQ
user371: i know his PR officer is TIRED
francocolapinto: sorry our uncle got sniped but we did also get points @olliebearman
olliebearman: JUST TO SAY WE WENT TO SEE MAX AND HE IS OKAY BUT YES THANK YOU FOR THE POINTS
yourusername: guys lets keep the inside thoughts inside
francocolapinto: so you're not proud of us (╹ -╹)?
yourusername: I AM, I AM, WE ARE (charles is on the podium he'll tell you later)
francocolapinto: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )
olliebearman: ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )
maxverstappen1
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liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,387,300 others
tagged: yourusername
maxverstappen1: i lived bitch
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user372: they're gonna have to do a little more than that to take down the united front of hating
user373: 50g can't stop the grind for these dudes
maxverstappen1: i would call that man a bitch with my last breath
user374: them celebrating the end of carlos' career by doing a mukbang is killing me
user375: when the funeral food be good as fuck you be forgetting who died
carlossainz55: you guys really are so pathetic
maxverstappen1: i didn't try to pimp out my sister, make her homeless then sue her but that might just me be
maxverstappen1: also the data will prove what we all know btw
carlossainz55: that you're reckless just like your daddy?
maxverstappen1: at least i can admit my dad is an asshole and i distanced myself, your dad is just as much a bitch but you gotta parade him around because no one else can bear being around you
carlossainz55: the only bad thing my dad ever did in his life is help bring the spawn of satan into the world
maxverstappen1: whatever, enjoy your race ban bozo
user376: is max suggesting ... it was on purpose
user377: if it was carlos might just be as dumb as they all say because fool was about to get a podium
yourusername: THEY CAN'T GET RID OF US BITCH
maxverstappen1: you're a sick motherfucker if you're enjoying this sainz disasterclass well i only just got out of the medical centre 🤧🤧🤧
charles_leclerc: no but deadass we're sorry you got taken out
maxverstappen1: someone had to be the mercutio to you people's romeo and juliet
maxverstappen1: PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELVES AFTER I'VE GONE THROUGH ALL THIS SHIT FOR YOU
yourusername: we can't leave you with all these kids
charles_leclerc: yeah that's a lot of kids to inherit
user378: christian horner i hate you but you gotta get on your zoom
oscarpiastri: where's my congratulations 🤨
maxverstappen1: @yourusername @charles_leclerc yeah you can keep your kids
charles_leclerc: we're proud of you oscar (don't beat me again)
yourusername: well done oscar (your verbal takedown was particularly impressive as well)
oscarpiastri: 🤭🤭🤭
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fin
note: lol i'm back. i was busy with work and then in hospital. but we all love guilty as sin? will get to tagging soon one sec
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danrifics · 18 days
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good morning i have slept a total of 2 hours here’s my spoiler breakdown for terrible influence antwerp
they start by playing a text to speech voice who welcomes us and the straight boyfriends and the dads (they’re a bit obsessed with the dads i’ll be real) the voice tells us if we film she’s gonna sue are asses. text to speech lady she is an icon
dnp come out and they’re like yo this is cool it’s the first show, you guys are gonna see what we’ve been up to and then they’re like it’s the first show so we can use you guys to decide if we change anything
they they’re like there’s probably people in the audience who don’t really know us so they do a 15 years of dan and phil lore breakdown with dolls of themselves in little set of iconic dnp locations (made by pj and sophie btw) they put these sets in a table in front of a camera and it shows on the big screen, (for 1 section of this the screen doesn’t work for the first part lol) also phil makes the dolls kiss and they also make the dolls hump the breakfast bar cos of course they do
i can’t remember what happens next or maybe it jumps right into the next thing i mention
they play a game show called role model or no-model which is a madlibs style game where you have to decide if the version of dan and phil the audience creates is a role model or not these are compared to real dnp. we had homophobic furry lawyer dan and linguistics dr phil wo has a thing for hamsters. just an fyi for this dan is really good at hearing what the audience is saying and phil is not at all and im pretty sure he made his up cos he couldn’t understand what we wanted
okay so after this iirc they start talking about the youtube landscape and what they’re gonna do after tour and how to keep people entertained and they go on a little adventure through different genres of youtube like minecraft lets plays, vtubers and then they pretend to be mr beast and pretend to give away a bunch of stuff that they don’t have, they cure us of any mental health issues and they cure us from being gay <3
then they decide to have a boxing match cos obvs that’s what youtubers do, they ask us to cheer for whoever they want to win and it has cool intro to it! i’ll be honest this boxing match goes on for entirely too long like it spans the end of the first half and the start of the second but they have like choreographed fighting and OMFG it’s very gay and like suggestive and they do many times look like they’re gonna have sex 😂 like one of phils moves is to hit dan with his ass while dan is holding him from behind so… yeah. anyway dan thought he won ours and then phil knocked him out with a tv, as he should!! also before they end the first half they’re having an insult match where phils tells dan hes gonna burn his house down only for dan to say they live in the same house and i was dying it was so funny, phil also calls dan a dickhead and this is where he also calls him a cunt and that’s how the first half ends. oh also phil has a fake 6 pack on and that’s the $300 dollar silicone btw
okay second half after dan is dead they have a sincere moment and then they’re like you guys keep telling us you want load of long unedited content and they ask us to tell them a topic to monologue about and someone shouts feet and they rant about feet lmao phil excitedly tells everyone he has a better wiki feet rating than dan
then dan goes on a rant about being discriminated against as a millennial (can’t remember how we got there) and phil gets bored and starts watching subway surfers and i’ll be real honest as a gen z i instantly got distracted by subway surfers and didn’t listen to what dan was saying (that was the point tho) and phil keeps turning up the volume and dan gets mad and he storms off
we have a nice sincere moment with phil but idk what tf it was cos neither did phil 😂
then suddenly a voice, oh here she comes, she asks if we’re ready to confess our sins and out comes sister daniel, everyone fucking loses it, if you heard me screaming so loud no you didn’t.
anyway they read some confessions (phil is father philip) and they read out a few including one from @dnphobe !!! phil has a water gun that he didn’t have when he was meant to and couldn’t find and then found and he was spraying it at people to cleanse them of their sins which is what they meant by people being in the splash zone btw also phil sprayed it at dan it was kinda cute
okay so they say they need to go and get changed and they head off stage and there’s a gag where they leave the microphone on and they’re purposely making it sound sexual and it’s so funny and then dan comes out and phil doesn’t cos he’s struggling with his leather fucking trousers that was a completely unscripted part for sure
then they talk about the hiatus a bit and how dan left us and they keep calling us their family and brb while i cry my eyes out
then they pull out a fucking banger of a song, like i can’t even explain to you how good it is, it has a fully like kpop style dance to it that im gonna fucking learn lmao and dan was so good at it like im not even kidding that man was pulling moves!! phil was doing great too btw but he definitely wasn’t as confident in it as dan was but damn it’s the best song yet imo!!
also i forgot to write the conspiracy bit because i forgot where in the show it is but on one of them they were trying so hard to make us say the opposite one but we were literally forcing tour bus on them and yes they confirmed they shared a bed on that tour bus!! and they played it off like its okay for friends to do that (cos it is) but they way they said it was that thing again where they blur the line a little so we know what they actually mean but still pretend they mean something else
okay some little things i remember that i didn’t write above
- “i can’t imagine my life without you”
- “it’ll be 15 years in december” (if you know you know)
- the absolute silence after they confirmed the bed thing cos none of us were actually expecting it
- dan had to prompt phil a little to remind him what to say next but it was very cute
- they kept looking at each other in *that* way
- phil lied to us about when norman died cos he had norman merch coming out
- sleepless night with phil 3 is fake!!
- they showed *that* video of phil asleep on the tour bus
- there were multiple times where i thought they’re gonna kiss right now???
-phil called dan kinda sexy
- ALL IS FORGIVEN, ANYTHING FROM THE LAST WE MIGHT HAVE DONE IS FORGIVEN THEY LOVE US WE ARE A FAMILY THEY ARE LITERALLY OUR DADS
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silkscream · 5 months
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our boredom's bone-deep
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ੈ✩ aki hayakawa x reader
ੈ✩ cw: smut (minors dni, ageless + blank blogs will be blocked), unprotected sex, drunk sex, angst, alcohol, smoking, hurt/comfort, depictions of blood and injury, mentions of s*icidal ideation
ੈ✩ wc: 3.8k
ੈ✩ a/n: theyre both so repressed. also sorry about the tswift reference guilty as sin is just on repeat this week
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“Yo.”
Aki turns around to see you walking towards him. You join him on the balcony, reaching over to steal his cigarette back from the breast pocket of his windbreaker. 
He looked good in civilian clothes. You didn’t see him like this often – out of his dress shirt and tie with his hair down. Dressed casually like he was a normal boy and not a hunter who signed his soul over.
“You can ask first, you know,” Aki grumbles, watching as you light up the cigarette in your mouth. 
“You were going to say yes, anyway.”
He rolls his eyes, knowing that it’s true. He’d taken you to his apartment because it was closer to the location of the mission, offering aid to the wounds you’d gotten in the face of a devil. He didn’t have to. You could still walk and you certainly weren’t dying, but he felt the need to keep you close, anyway.
You chuckle when you see the irritated look on his face.
“Don’t pout.”
The cigarette in his mouth is burned down to the nub. You take it out, grazing the cherried end against the ceramic eightball ashtray you’d gotten him for Christmas the year before. The paint was chipping from how often he used it, speckles of white against the black paint. 
You take another cig out from the pack before placing it back into his pocket, holding the stick between your fingers up to his mouth and lighting it.
“Thanks,” he mumbles.
“You’re very welcome,” you grin.
You stay like that for a few minutes. Smoking and silent, staring at the sky post-golden hour, when everything is blanketed in cobalt blue bleeding into a light orange.
“How are your cuts?”
“I’m fine,” you chuckle. “Why do you worry so much? I’ve been around longer than you have, you know.”
Aki merely shrugs. He doesn’t look at you. Holds in his emotions like a geyser begging to stay dormant. 
“I just do,” he says plainly.
“How sweet,” you scoff, flicking your cigarette off the railing. “Thought you liked me the least, to be honest.”
“What do you mean?” he asks, irritated. “You’re the one who trained me. Obviously, I don’t hate you.”
You merely chuckle, discarding your blazer. Your uniform shirt is still slightly bloodied.
“What, you think I don’t like you?” Aki asks, a brow raised.
“I’d be surprised if you liked anyone,” you shrug. “But I can tell you have a soft spot for Denji and Power, even if you refuse to admit it.”
He grunts, looking away from you as he finishes his second cigarette. The late spring breeze blows his hair into his face. He doesn’t realize how close he is to you until he adjusts his arms on the balcony, his elbow grazing yours. You don’t react, your chin tucked into your arms as you lean forward. He looks at you with curiosity.
You look at him finally and grin. 
“You look better with your hair down, you know.”
“I was thinking about cutting it,” he mumbles. 
“Don’t. It’s cute. I always thought you looked kind of like a girl. The hair is working.”
He rolls his eyes again, grimacing. He tries to hide his flush. 
“Thanks,” he deadpans. “You know how to make a guy feel special.”
“So I’ve been told.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“What do you mean?” you grin. “You think I’m scary and mean? I’m very sweet to my lovers, you know.”
He could cringe. That wasn’t what he meant. He shivers at the word “lover” like it’s taboo, knowing very well that images of you are flooding his brain against his will. Your proximity makes it worse, how even despite both of you getting roughed up during your mission, you still smelled sweet to him. 
“Yeah, right.”
“Do you really think I’m so cruel?” you challenge him. He’s not going to take the bait. He won’t. 
“I’d assume you were a sadist.”
“You think I’m a sadist?” you laugh. 
“Probably,” Aki grumbles. He fidgets. 
He doesn’t want to take out another cigarette, but he’s convinced that it’s the only thing that would help him tolerate your presence right now. He’d felt unusual since he took you back to this apartment. His nose wrinkles at the memory of your body hours prior, your side saturated in blood. His rabbit heart thumping out of his chest at the thought you’d die in his arms — and yet here you are, next to him, teasing like you always do.
“Why?”
“Because you love pushing me to my limits,” he mutters. 
“Oh, come on,” you chuckle. “It’s not like I treat you like a toy. I’m not Makima.”
“What does Makima have to do with this—”
“Because you listen to everything she says. It’s like all of you fucking worship her.”
Your voice sounds bitter, but Aki doesn’t want to pry about it. For some reason, something in his chest riles him, makes his heartbeat faster at the prospect that you might be jealous of his devotion to Miss Makima. You’d always clashed in your beliefs but was never particularly candid about it – you were like him. You wanted to kill devils for the sake of avenging your family, but you also seemed apathetic about your life. With no family or a promising future, you often didn’t care if you died. It was the most frustrating thing about you.
Aki huffs. “You hate following rules yet you’re still controlling. It’s hypocritical.”
“I am not controlling.”
“You are. And you love to torment me because I’m the only one willing to put up with your shit,” he says, laughing humorlessly. You don’t know that he would do anything you told him, that he didn’t give a fuck about Makima. It had always been you, at the forefront of both his blissful dreams and worst nightmares.
“I like your resilience,” you say quietly.
“Resilience?”
You nod slowly. “You’re the strongest person I know, Aki.”
He hates how much dopamine fills his brain when you say this. The smallest praises from you would have him hung up, lately. Even a smile was motivating, though he’d rather die than admit that to anyone. He was never one to pine or yearn, keeping to himself since he was young. No girl could pry anything out of him that wasn’t surface-level until you. 
He hated it. It felt like a weakness.
“Yeah, right.”
“I mean it.”
“If I’m actually that strong, I probably would’ve broken down your walls by now.”
It could be a teasing statement, but he tucks his expression away into the fabric of his jacket, looking away from you. You’re so close to him, close enough to touch, but he still holds himself back.
“You should save your efforts,” you mumble. 
Aki looks at you with narrowed eyes and tries to scan your face for anything telling, but you’re as stoic as him. He’d always found it frustrating, how he could never get anything out of you. He didn’t know how to be selfish. He was apprehensive about provoking you despite how much he wanted to.
“Why?”
You finally look him in the eye. Your features are painted with stubborn contempt as you glare at him.
“Because I’m not worth it.”
Your words strike him through the heart. You weren’t one to be particularly insecure – he’d known this since he met you. But your words now are trying to downplay how much he feels for you, and he won’t have it. 
Aki moves close enough to you to smell your breath.
“You don’t get to decide whether or not I waste my time on you,” he protests.
You stare at him. You’re surprised he wants to know you at all. You’ve barely processed the meaning behind his words, the possibility of him wanting you beyond mission support and devil-hunting guidance. Both of you had walls up and that was fine. You never had any intention of breaking any of his, regardless of how often he showed up in your dreams. No matter how often you’d find yourself glancing at him, drinking up his features until you had snapped yourself out of it.
“You can’t want things as a devil hunter,” you say blankly, staring at the dark sky. “There’s no use. Desire is the root of all suffering and shit, right? Like in Buddhism?”
Aki feels his face warm up, his frown deepening as you say this without even looking at him.
“I’ll suffer for you if I want to,” he says firmly.
“Always a masochist,” you whisper, sighing. You smile weakly at him.
“Maybe I am a masochist.”
“I know. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be a devil hunter, huh?”
“Why are you a devil hunter?” he raises a brow. 
“Because it’s better than killing myself. If I die because of this job, at least I died being useful, you know?”
He swallows thickly at the thought of your death. He’d imagined it a thousand times since he met you and realized how sardonic you were, how little you cared about your own life. You were a mirror of him. 
“Don’t say shit like that,” he says, his tone cold. 
“It’s the truth.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not letting you die.”
You stare at him, the expression on your face unreadable. Your eyes look dim.
“Thanks,” you mutter. You slide the glass door open and go back inside. Aki feels his lungs ache.
Eventually, he follows you in and sees you on the couch, staring blankly at the television with a bottle of whiskey in your hand. He rolls his eyes. You were just as bad as Kishibe these days. 
He sits down next to you without a word, stealing the bottle to take a gulp, flinching. You watch with amusement. He grimaces at you.
“What?” he asks, irritated.
“You can do better than that.”
He wants to wipe the smirk off your face. Maybe with his mouth. He blinks at you a little too fast, then distracts himself with another gulp. A longer one that makes his throat burn, his head dizzy. You laugh.
“I fucking hate you,” he grumbles.
“I didn’t force you to do it,” you scoff. 
No, you didn’t. But it was always easy for Aki to do things for you. He often wanted to, didn’t ask any questions. You always wondered why.
“Would you roll around like a dog if I asked you to?” you grin.
“Fuck off.”
You lay down, perching your legs over his lap. He sets his hands on your thigh like it’s second nature to him. You scan his features. His midnight eyes glisten with the blue of the television reflecting in his irises, his mouth downturned into a default pout.
“You should keep your hair down more often.”
He looks at you with surprise, like he’d forgotten you were there.
“Pretty boy,” you mumble.
“You’re drunk.” He tries to keep his expression level. His face is hot from the whiskey, not you, he tells himself.
You shift your position and your foot grazes his crotch. It makes his breath hitch, the creature of want inside him gnawing at his heart. He thinks maybe you’re teasing him, so he takes your foot and rubs it. You raise a brow.
You’re sitting up now, grunting as you do. He pretends that you aren’t staring at him.
“Does it still hurt?” he murmurs.
“Nah. I’m good.”
There’s contempt on his face when he looks at you, his eyes tracing your collarbone just for a second before gazing at the blood on your shirt. Speckled shapes turning from red to brown.
“Let me see.”
“Aki. I’m fine.”
“Let me see,” he mumbles.
You sigh, unbuttoning your shirt until you’re only in a sports bra. He frowns at your wound, how the gauze is dark and nearly falling off. 
“Why didn’t you tell me it needed to be changed?”
“It’s fine—”
“No,” he scolds. “Stay still.”
He pins you down by your hips. Somehow, he’s in between your legs, his face frowning in concentration as he looks at your skin. He gets up to grab the first aid kit.
You take another sip of whiskey.
It numbs the pain when he fixes you up again. His fingers are delicate when they handle you — you can’t help but stare at the way they move when he blots your cut. A small press to the center and you feel it sting, making you hiss. He grips you by the waist to disarm you. 
Stay still.
“There,” he breathes, kneeling on the floor in front of you. “It’s more secure now.”
He looks at your stomach, watching the rise and fall of your skin as you breathe. You reach out and pat his head like he’s a pet.
Aki was a cute drunk. Still stoic, but malleable in your hands. There are moments during group outings when he opens up a little, places his head on your shoulder. Looks at you for a bit longer than he normally allows himself to. 
He presses his cheek to your thigh and sighs as you skim the nape of his neck with your fingers. You stroke his jaw. It’s the closest he’s ever been to you. 
Your thumb hooks on his mouth briefly and you feel his tongue on the pad of your fingertip. He looks up at you with half-lidded eyes. Glazed over in the dimness, dripped in syrup.
“You’re barely awake,” you breathe. “I should go.”
“No.” He grips your wrist when you pull your hand away, saliva from his mouth creating the string of fate. The sight made your heart sing. Disgusting. 
“Why?” you whisper.
He’s quiet. He could bite the bullet, let the heat of it soar straight through his chest so you can see all the gory bits of desire in him. The whiskey only exacerbated the feeling. He was usually good at keeping it down, despite clinging to you like an extra limb. You probably saw right through him. 
“Just stay,” he mutters. 
“Make me stay, then.”
He hides his face in your lap again. He feels like such a boy. When you run your fingers through his hair again, he pulls away and grabs both of your wrists, pulling you toward him until you fall onto his lap, his body on the floor. He grips your hips and stares at you from below.
“What are you doing? You wanna wrestle?” you joke half-heartedly.
“No,” he slurs quietly. “You’re hurt.”
Aki sits up and leans on the back of his elbows. He looks at you like he’s eager prey, offering himself on a platter, but he won’t say it. It’s killing you.
“C’mon,” you grin. “I can take it.”
“Stop.”
You pin him to the ground. You’re playing. It’s just that and nothing else, isn’t it?
“Aki,” you say. Your face is so close to his. Your breath smells like tobacco and cinnamon, your neck like petrichor.
“I’m not letting you provoke me,” he groans. 
You roll your eyes. “Stop trying to take care of me.”
“But I want to,” he mumbles, his voice barely audible. 
“Then I’ll take care of you. I’m your senpai, remember?”
His face is hot again, sweat sticking to his shoulder blades. Fuck, he needed to fix the fan since Power and Denji had broken it while wrestling. The memory reminds him of the position he’s in right now and a flush creeps up his neck.
“I–”
Your mouth interrupts him. It’s an experimental peck. Impulsive. It’s short, but Aki groans into it and touches his tongue with yours. You pull away with wide eyes.
There’s hunger in his gaze, something like desperation. You could work with this. You knew that you had Aki wrapped around your finger since he started at Public Safety, but you didn’t know he would be like this. 
He breathes deeply, dark lashes blinking at you from the mess of his bangs. His dick was infallibly hard since you’d straddled him. It was aching now underneath your cunt — there was no hiding it.
He narrows his eyes, trying to disguise how much he wants you.
“Thought you said desire is the root of all suffering.”
“I guess we’re both masochists, then,” you whisper.
He kisses you with more force this time, buries his mouth into your neck to exhale the scent of his shampoo in your hair. Drunk on you. He sucks a hickey into your flesh like it’s payback.
He groans when he feels your hands underneath his shirt, rubbing against the pale skin of his abdomen until he takes the liberty to pull the fabric off himself. Aki has always been pretty – like a girl, like you’d told him before. He was also remarkably boyish. The shy type. He’d seem to grow muscles over the past year, his lean figure always hidden by the uniform. 
“Stop staring at me like that,” he huffs.
“Get uglier, then,” you roll your eyes, pulling at the zipper of his jeans. 
He lets you handle him like a doll. 
“Thought you’d be rougher,” you whisper.
“You’ve… thought about this before?” he asks.
You blink at him, then look away.
“Once or twice.”
“I’m not gonna be rough with you,” he says, his voice lower than before. “Not when you got stabbed earlier today.”
“Told you I’m a masochist,” you chuckle dryly. You strip off your slacks, showing off your less-than-sexy cotton underwear. He grazes your core, the wet patch growing larger with your slick.
“You’re so wet,” he mumbles, mesmerized. He licks his lips, wanting to taste you, lust transparent on his face. It humiliated you, for some reason — you were always used to it rough and fast, your vision blurred while you took cock that you didn’t give a shit about. This was different. This was real.
You put your fingers in his mouth again, pinning him down. He moans when you spit on the head of his cock, palming him gently. Taming him.
You slide your panties off of your legs and do the same with his briefs. When you hover over him, your throat feels tight. He keeps looking at you like you created him. Like you were the world itself.
His tip catches on the slick of your cunt, circling your entrance. Your blood boils, every ventricle in your body sparking to life. You feel him buck his hips, desperate and rutting.
“Use me,” he groans, muffled from your fingers on his tongue.
You sink down on him and his eyes roll back. You remove your fingers from his mouth to toy with your clit, whimpering at the sensation of him filling you up. He was bigger than you expected.
Aki shudders from sensitivity. Alcohol usually numbs his senses, but he can feel all of you, how hot and tight you are. It’s driving him mad. He hiccups through moans, his throat raw. 
Your cunt pulses as you grind on him, trembling above him as you try to keep your hips from stuttering too much. Already, you were about to fall apart. 
“Fuck,” Aki mutters. 
Your hand grazes his face and jaw, and he leans into your palm to kiss it earnestly. Your face burns as you tangle your fingers in his raven hair. When he rises to kiss you, you pull his strands while your other hand holds him back by his shoulder. He groans and thrusts upward into you, holding your hips so that your thighs are flush against his.
Your pulse throbs against the cave of your chest. Aki is desperate to kiss you, to get his tongue in your mouth, so he uses your own trick on you – pulls you in with force and grabs a fistful of your hair. You moan into his mouth, tapering off into a whimper, and you feel him let out a breathy laugh in between kisses.
Aki lets himself be a little loud — no one else was home, and fucking you was cathartic. He squeezes the fat of your thigh, his lunacy suppressed into his tight fists. Entranced by the sight of your cunt swallowing up his dick. 
You whimper as your knees start to get rug burn, the skin as raw as the love bites on your neck. Your stomach stirs, ecstasy boiling in the pit. You could pretend it was love from the way he gripped you.
“You’re fucking tight,” he grunts.
“Do you like it?” you rasp. You almost sound like you’re begging.
He nods and holds your face, his other hand making an imprint on your waist. Aki was so much taller than you — his size didn’t register until now, the way he was forcing your chin up to look up into his eyes. 
He can barely speak, only letting out choked moans and heavy breaths. You look so vulnerable despite being on top of him. He could picture it now, your thighs shaking with arms outstretched to him in morning light. Bare-faced and illuminated, not a bruise on your body. Happy in another life.
“Fuck, Aki,” you moan.
“Again,” he breathes.
“What?”
“Say my name again. Like that.” Like you love me.
“A-Aki,” you whine, gasping for air. “Close.”
A rush of blood to the head. He almost wants to tell you he loves you, force you to say it back to him in between swapping spit. Even if it was just pretend.
You writhe as you cum. Heat-struck by the coil breaking in your stomach. It was like he was melting your insides. He feels your cunt twitch and spills into you with a groan, nose buried in your hair. 
He winces as he pulls out of you, his cum getting the carpet wet. He’ll have to clean it up later. He breathes heavily and looks anywhere but your face.
“Lie down with me,” you whisper.
So he does, face to face with you, his arm loose over your waist. He wants to kiss you, but he assumes you’ve had your fill. He wonders if you’ll ever toy with him like that again. He hates himself for how badly he wants it.
But then you look at him, your eyes searching his for meaning. Unspoken words. 
“You okay, baby?”
He’s shocked at the nickname, blushing like he didn’t just fuck you to the moon and back.
He nods, blinking rapidly when you stroke his jaw gently. Branding him with tenderness. Maybe he shouldn’t have slept with you. He didn’t want to be a sycophant, but he still felt attached to you, and it would only get worse from here. Stuck on his heart like chewed gum.
“Angel boy,” you sigh, hazed. You’re still a little drunk. “Pretty.”
“Don’t talk to me like I’m a dog.”
“What are you, then?”
He says nothing. You smile. The warmth in his chest is immeasurable. It aches like a wound that never heals. He supposes that’s what you are for him. But what is he?
“Yours.”
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anneapocalypse · 24 days
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On Wuk Lamat, and Female Characters in FFXIV
The Thing with Wuk Lamat is you can tell me you think she had too much screentime; you can give me numbers on how many lines she had or how many scenes she's in relative to other characters or other expacs; you can prove to me "objectively" that she gets more focus than other main NPCs; you're simply not going to convince me that this is something I should be unhappy about. And not just because it's silly to think you can use numbers to prove a story is good or bad and make someone else go, "Wow, you're right, let me just throw away all the joy I experienced with this story and revise my opinion because you've scientifically proven to me that I'm wrong."
Because while I love Final Fantasy XIV and I have greatly enjoyed its story in so many ways, fundamentally one of my biggest beefs with this game has been how much female characters have been denied complex character arcs and growth and agency and interiority.
Minfilia gets treated as a sacrificial vessel who lives for everyone but herself and doesn't even get to have feelings about her own death because that entire arc is focused on a male character's angst about it instead. The game tells us in the Heavensward patches that Krile sees Minfilia as her best friend and then just forgets about that later and never follows up on what that loss must have meant to her. Ysayle is basically right about most of what she's fighting for but harboring a bit of self-delusion is apparently such a terrible sin that she has to pay for it with her life, while her male foil is deemed so worthy of salvation that there's a whole plot point about how important it is that we risk our lives and others' lives to save him. Y'shtola is a major character who's been around since the beginning, and the game keeps dropping maddeningly interesting things about her (apprenticed to a cranky old witch in a cave! saved her own life and the lives of her friends with an illegal and dangerous spell and it worked! reserved and undemonstrative yet regularly through her actions reveals herself to be deeply caring! disabled!) and then shows complete disinterest in following up on any of those things with the kind of depth and care shown to male characters with complex arcs like Urianger.
In general there is also a repeated thread of female characters being portrayed as weak or overly emotional: Minfilia is weak because she doesn't fight and needs to be eaten by a god in order to gain "a strength long sought." Krile is portrayed as not being able to pull her weight with the Scions (despite the fact that she actively keeps five of them from dying in Shadowbringers) and the only thing they could think of for her to do in Endwalker was be yet another vessel for Hydaelyn (hmm, that sounds familiar) and it's not until Dawntrail that she gets much actual character development in the main story and even that has to come alongside "Look, she can fight now so that means she's useful." (And I love Picto!Krile, I'm just saying, there's a pattern.) Alisaie, despite having very good reasons for needing to find her own path apart from her brother, is portrayed as having to prove herself when she returns, that she's "not the girl she once was," and "will not be a burden" (while Alphinaud is repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt and reassurance and affirmation from other characters even after he takes on responsibilities he isn't ready for and fucks up big time).
And if you follow me you know I adore Urianger, and I love Alphinaud and Thancred and Estinien too, so please don't misunderstand what I'm saying here! I'm not knocking those characters, or saying we shouldn't also love them. I just use them as a comparison to demonstrate how the female characters have been neglected.
Lyse has some of the stronger character development among the female Scions, and while she's still kind of portrayed as being too emotional and hotheaded in early Stormblood, I think it's actually explored in more depth in a way that I like; Lyse has good reasons for wanting to fight for her nation's freedom, but having been away from Ala Mhigo for several years now, she needs to understand the stakes for the people who've been there fighting for years, what they've lost and still have to lose. She grows as a person and rises to the challenge of leadership, and I'm even okay with the fact that she leaves the Scions afterward because it feels right for her to stay in Ala Mhigo, and at least she doesn't die.
And by all accounts she was, like Wuk Lamat, widely hated when her expansion came out.
Unironically I think the other female Scion with the strongest character arc is Tataru. She tries to take up a combat job, finds that it's not for her, and decides to focus on where her strengths are instead. In doing so, she both holds the Scions together as an organization in the absence of a leader by capably managing their finances, and also comes into her own as a businesswoman and makes international connections that benefit both the Scions and her personally. In contrast to Minfilia, she's not portrayed as weak because she doesn't fight, and is actually allowed to be an important character who's good for more than being sacrificed. Tataru is still distinctly in a supporting role for the player character, however, and her character arc happens as a side story that takes up a relatively small amount of screentime over several expansions, which I think is probably why she doesn't evoke such a negative reaction.
But there is a pattern of the game's writing showing disinterest in the interior lives of female characters generally, and in making their growth the focus of a story.
So yeah, I'm going to be happy about Wuk Lamat! I'm going to enjoy and celebrate every moment of her character arc, of her personal growth, of watching her put the lessons she's learned into action. I'm going to love and treasure every moment when she gets to be silly, embarrassing, emotional, scared, grieving, confused, upset, seasick, impulsive, and still deemed worthy of growing into a hero and a leader. I will love her with all of my soul and you simply will not convince me that it wasn't worth the screentime after such a profound imbalance for basically the entirety of the game. We've never had a major female character get such a strong arc with this much love and attention put into it and that means more to me than I can truly say. The backlash to it is disheartening, as this kind of thing always is, but I'm not going to let it ruin the wonderful experience I had playing it and how much joy it continues to bring me.
And for those of you who don't want any of that for a female character, thank goodness you have Heavensward and Shadowbringers and Endwalker and no one can take those away from you.
(And if you follow me you know that I love Shadowbringers and Endwalker and have very fond memories of Heavensward despite some issues with it, so not only can I not take that from you, I am not trying to!)
Some of us have been real hungry for a character like this with an arc like this, so, I think, y'know, maybe we can have that. As a treat.
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damn-stark · 2 months
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Chapter 15 I was born something
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Chapter 15 of Moonlight
A/N- Soulmatism is both being called to power at the same time, one shrouded by darkness and the other illuminated by bright flames.
Warning- Swearing, talks of pregnancy and sexual harassment, ser gwayne (not bad I just want to say he's in this chapter tehe) angst!!, fluff!!, SPOILERS, LONG CHAPTER.
Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader
Episode- 2x05-and the very beginning of 2x06
(If you want to be tagged let me know)
————
He listened to your breaths as they came and went. They’re calm, and the most sweetest song.
Worry once plagued him, it clashed into him the moment he saw you falling under that fainting spell, he was lucky to have been so close otherwise, you would have hit the ground. Yet he didn't take that as a sign of luck at that moment. His worry brought out the worst of his anger he is willing to admit, but why shouldn’t he be upset?
He saw you fall, you could have been dying, and there’s nothing that he could’ve done to prevent death from taking you away from him, so all he knew how to be was desperate. There was no other emotion that would’ve felt right, not even as the maester was checking you.
Did it help in that situation? No, you would have told him that, his mother would have told him that, but he didn’t care, he was terrified until the exact moment the maester revealed you were with child with twins. He felt a bliss wash over him at that moment, like the sun breaking through dark clouds made by a raging storm.
Yet his worry was all but gone, it lingers even still, like sprinkling rain after the worst of the storm. He admires you as you sleep, he admires the way the sun kisses your soft skin making you illuminate even more divine than you already are. He takes note of the way your eyelashes kiss your skin, and the way your lips gently rest on each other. He could watch you for hours on end, his peace in the chaos of the world, his way of life; without you, life would be dull, lifeless, bleak, black and white, boring, and almost pointless.
How could other people find a way to love someone else? Sure he seeked company in someone, it’s his greatest sin and he will never commit it again. Not even if you die. If it was his responsibility to have more children to secure his succession then he would do his duty, but he wouldn’t love her, he would think of you, your smile, your laugh, your beauty, your touch, and your enchanting song because he knows no one would ever love him like you love him.
It’s pretty foolish of you to love him after what he’s done to break your heart, but for some reason, you keep clinging onto him like when you were young. You had a chance to escape, to laugh and point with the others, but you never did, and you never have. It’s perhaps the only weakness in you, but he’s grateful, blessed, and glad that you continue to love him unconditionally.
It’s why he has to protect you. You and your son—your children.
“Aemond.”
He hears the call and looks at the intruder who barged in without warning; seeing his mother walking in with worry filtered in her big brown eyes.
“How is she?” She asks.
Aemond returns his attention to you in hopes you’ll wake soon and continues to stroke your knuckles with his thumb as he refuses to let your hand go.
“The maester said she will be fine,” Aemond shares. “It was her grief and the fact that she did not eat.”
Alicent walks down the two steps that lead to the bed and watches her son and his refusal to miss a single breath that escapes you.
“How did you tell her?” She asks with a hint of judgment clinging onto her. “I hope you did not just blurt it. She may be on our side, but the others are still her family that she loves, you need to be careful when you share such dark words.”
Aemond huffs and turns his head to pass her a brief glare that she misses as she watches you.
“Did you know?” He asks and chooses not to comment on the fact that he knows how to talk to you, he’s no imbecile. “She’s with child.”
Alicent’s brown eyes find him and he quickly looks back at you. “Yes, Helaena told me last night. She just found out, which is why I warn you that you need to be—”
“I know,” he cuts his mother off impatiently. “I know how to talk to her. I’m no fool. I’m not…mhm,” he chooses to leave Aegon out of the conversation.
“Twins, Helaena says,” Alicent chooses to ignore what was at the tip of his tongue and reaches the foot of the bed to watch Aemond and his short-lived bliss. “Congratulations. You must be happy.”
Aemond tilts his head, making his hair cascade over his shoulder and hide the faint smile that tugs on his lips, and stays while he reaches his hand over to caress your belly with a feathered touch.
Before he can express his joy, or give any positive reaction at all, he takes a deep breath as if the next words that are coming out of him are going to hurt to say, causing his happiness to dimishness as worry makes itself plain to see.
“One…twin is smaller than the other the maester says,” he says in a voice that’s so rare for Alicent to hear nowadays. “What does that mean?”
He looks over at his mother for help, for reassurance that it will be fine. As if her words were the salvation.
“Just that,” she tries to comfort Aemond’s worry that begins to ache her own heart even if she tries hard to fight it. “Sometimes it tends to happen with twins, one takes more than the other, but,” she breathes out deeply and looks at you with more worry than she offered her son. “It’s still early, it will resolve.”
Aemond’s eye stays on his mother to take in more comfort but when he finds none his eyes return to you and tries to believe the little help his mother offered with a faint smile—No, he smirks now and this time Alicent doesn’t miss it.
“This war will take a lot from us, but my children will be the future of my house. I will make sure of it,” he says, making Alicent’s lips twitch to a frown while her eyebrows knit together with conflict brought by his choice of words.
A gleam proceeds to catch her eyes and when she locates where it comes from, she sees Aegon’s Valyrian steel dagger strapped to his belt as if it was a trophy he won and needed to show off to everyone who had eyes.
“Be easy on her,” Alicent musters as she breathes out her conflict. “And don’t involve her in your warpath, Aemond.”
He scoffs but doesn’t counter, he instead interjects softly. “She won’t be happy about it.”
Alicent chuckles breathlessly. “No, she will not, it seems she inherited her ferocity from both parts of her family.”
He hums and slides his hand away from your belly to cup your hand with both of his large hands to be able to bring your hand up and kiss your knuckles.
“She won’t wake,” Aemond mutters ever so softly with a hint of desperation that escapes as if asking for help without outright expressing it at this moment where it’s just her and him.
“Give her time,” she offers him some console. “The maester said she will be fine, so she shall. She’s lost a lot in a short time…it’s not easy. “
Aemond answers with silence whilst he brings your hand down to rest it on the bed without letting it actually escape from the security of his hold.
“My Prince,” a third visitor interjects in the silence and steals the attention of both Aemond and Alicent. “King Aegon’s carriage is approaching the city.”
At the mention, Aemond sits up straight, and that softness that his features were cast under slowly hardens just as he gives the guard a response. “Let me know when he’s reached the Red Keep.”
Alicent watches the guard take in Aemond’s demand without hesitance before he takes off, leaving her troubled by her conflict as she watches her son act too unbothered by what befell his brother.
He should be furious, but his rage is missing. He should be overcome with worry that his King and older brother was wounded in battle, but his worry is just placed on you and you alone.
——
*YOU*
She was there, the day you touched the clouds for the first time. She was there when you knew nothing was better than being a part of the never-ending sky. She was there because the first dragon you ever rode was Meleys.
“My mother was seven years old when she first took to the skies,” you remember pointing out with disappointment because you just turned seven and you could not mount your dragon yet. You were too young, your mother said.
You never realized then that she was just protecting you, after all the sickness that plagued you since you were a babe had barely been expelled from your body, she just wanted to make sure that nothing took you from her just as she was assured you would live a long life after all.
Nevertheless, that disappointment was short-lived, your grandmother had made sure of that.
“Actually I talked to your mother and guess what?” She began to tease you while you caressed Meleys’ snout much to your dragon's jealousy.
“What is it?” You’re too impatient to play.
A smile brightens her face before she gives you the answer. “You can fly with me. I know it’s not the same as flying your own dragon, but that time will come soon. As for now, we can mount Meleys together and we can take to the skies together as a name day present from me.”
You remember the joy that overcame you at that moment. Sure you still wanted to mount your own dragon, but her offer did satisfy that desire. It is like having a snack when you’re hungry, it does not fulfill you but it does keep you satisfied for a while. That’s how it was. You were satisfied at that moment, you were happy to be in the sky. It was the best moment of your life, you knew you would die happy if death had chosen to take you that day.
It was an exaggeration, of course, you realized that not long after, but you were only seven then and you were in the clouds for the first time. You could finally stop imagining how they felt because you could feel the moistness soak your fingertips as you tried to reach them while Meleys ascended higher. And when she was lost within the fluffy white clouds, the water soaked your face, but you did not care. You were carefree.
Nothing occupied your mind at that moment, nothing worried you. You felt as weightless as the clouds, and you beamed as bright as the sun in the sky. Your dreams hadn’t come true yet, you needed to take to the skies on the back of your own dragon, but the gift of flying for the first time was all thanks to her. She gave you that experience, she made you happy at that moment and never failed to make you happy as you got older. She never stopped protecting you…but…you did fail her.
You’re in King’s Landing for a reason, aren’t you? To report to your family the war plans, the comings and goings of the most valuable members in the Green faction, the decisions that are made around the council table, and any other plans that the Green council may have. You’re here to warn your family so they can get an advantage, so they can get closer to the throne, so they don’t run such a high risk of getting wounded or dying. But your grandmother died regardless.
You failed her, you failed them. You failed at the one thing you were supposed to do and now you lost someone else you love. And the crazy thing is that you don’t hate or blame Aemond for what happened, you blame yourself.
The weight of guilt lies on you because you couldn’t do the one thing you were supposed to do. Because no matter how hard you try you can’t be something valuable. That’s all you wanted, that’s why you left in the first place, to prove to your mother that you could be reliable, that you can be a fierce warrior, that you aren’t just a princess in a castle, and that you can be so much more. You wanted to be so much more, prove to her that you can be important, valuable, and fierce. That part of you is there, you wanted to show her that, but your grandmother died, and with her lies that fight. You feel like nothing now…
Daemon would be so mad…and you shouldn't care what he has to think about you, but how can you not after you failed so miserably? After your grandmother died and her dragon along with her?
You’re mad at yourself—no, you’re furious at yourself. If you had been better perhaps she would still be alive.
“Ready?” You tug yourself away from your train of thought and focus on Aerion before you grab a raw piece of meat from the bowl beside you, and place it down in front of his hatchling.
“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you command.
Shrykos tilts her little head before blinking and glancing at Aerion as if waiting for the okay. But your son can’t answer, he just watches Shrykos, and the hatchling watches him.
“Shrykos, <Dracarys>,” you repeat the command, making the hatchling now look at the piece of meat in front of her before she opens her mouth and lets out a small blast of fire.
Aerion watches the fire engulf the small piece of meat, the way the flames come out of his dragon's mouth to cook the meat and he can’t help but giggle and wave his fat little arms.
“<Good job, Shrykos,>” you praise the hatchling.
Aerion’s head turns to you and he coos, making a smile spread on your mournful face. “Shrykos,” you repeat to your son, making him study you before he coos after you as if trying to say his dragon's name too.
“Yes!” You clap. “She’s your dragon. Shrykos.”
Aerion coos the same way again and his dragon this time scurries over to him to sit in between his legs.
“Your mother would be delighted to see the way he interacts with his dragon,” Vanessa comments, making you smile wider.
“She would,” you muse and reach over to try and caress your son's head, but you must have reached out to him too quickly because suddenly Shrykos snaps her head towards you and shrieks out at you.
“<Whoa,>” you gasp in surprise yet also awe because she’s grown to be so protective in such a short time. Jacaerys was right, having Aerion bond with a dragon can protect him in ways some guards can’t.
“<It's okay. Calm down, girl.>” You try to ease her worry. “<Calm.>”
The dragon’s eyes don’t leave you for a solid minute, she watches you carefully until Aerion starts to cry.
“She meant no harm,” you assure him as you’re able to grab him now and bring him up with you as you stand to your given height, causing the hatchling to flap her delicate wings to perch herself on your shoulder and remain close to Aerion.
“It’s okay,” you continue to try to console him before you wipe away his tears and press a kiss on his cheek.
Shrykos watches the interaction and stretches her neck out to coo softly at Aerion as if trying to mimic you in calming him down.
“See? She’s just worried about you,” you tell Aerion, and he sniffles just seconds before his attention focuses on the pendant that you found around your neck after you woke up.
“Of course,” you mutter with an amused smile and watch him grab your pendant before he yanks it back towards him, pulling a gasp out of your mouth. “Gods.”
Aerion pulls the pendant to his mouth but you grab his hand and shake your head. Yet before you can pull the pendant away, the doors open and snatch your attention to your husband walking in and coming to an immediate halt when he sees you on your feet.
“Aemond,” you greet him with a faint smile.
Said man takes a step forward and his eye studies you hard as if making sure you’re really there, that you’re not some ghost set out to bid a last goodbye; while also trying to figure out if your smile directed at him is real or feigned. After all, you both know who brought down Meleys and your grandmother. It wasn’t Aegon you both knew that.
Yet no matter how hard or how long his eye remains fixated on you, that sweet smile doesn’t falter or fade, that smile on your face turns to a grin actually.
“What is it?” You break him from his stupor whilst also trying to tug your pendant away from Aerion’s mouth.
“You…” Aemond trails off and finally breaks away from the cast your mere presence put him under to close the distance that keeps you apart. “You should be abed. Not on your feet.”
You roll your eyes and approach Vanessa to hand Aerion to her, causing the little hatchling to disembark your shoulder and instead fly over to Vanessa’s.
“I’m fine,” you direct at Aemond as you turn to face him and find your body moving toward him. “I ate, I—”
“Vanessa,” Aemond snaps at your handmaiden with a glower that you get in between.
“Stop, don’t snap at her, talk to me,” you ease the worry you see weighing down on him.
Aemond’s eye flickers to you, but he also wants to scold Vanessa for not keeping you abed where you’ll be safe so he parts his lips to argue, but you finally meet him halfway and grab his arm, focusing all his attention back to you as if you were the center of the universe.
“Leave her be. I stood up, you know that. I am not an invalid, I just should've been more careful,” you add to your case. “But I ate. I’m feeling stronger already.”
His chest rises high as he takes in a deep frustrated breath before he lets it all go and is left with worry.
Before you can continue to address the matter at hand though, you turn your attention to Vanessa. “Take him to Helaena and Jaehaera, she has Morghul out too, he and Shrykos can bond.”
Vanessa nods and doesn’t linger behind, she leaves your quarters rather quickly, leaving you to face your husband and slide your hand down his arm to grab his hand.
“I’m fine,” you tell him one more. “The news just didn’t settle well, plus I was on an empty stomach, it all just overwhelmed me, but I’m fine…we’re fine,” you finish in a whisper and pull his hand toward you to press his palm against your belly.
“I’m sure the maester broke the news,” you continue with a proud smile that he misses because he watches your intertwined hands caressing the spot where your twins are growing.
“Twins,” he whispers with no worry clinging to his voice, it's soft and full of awe just like his eye.
“That’s why I haven’t been feeling hungry, and why I’ve been uncomfortable,” you address the matter. “They’re the reason.”
Aemond’s eye goes to you and now endearment also accompanies the already sweet feelings his eye expresses. You want to follow up with more, but your lips part, and a single breath escapes past your lips as you stand there feeling seen, appreciated, and loved under his gaze, but also feeling worry and guilt strike your heart as he looks at you.
You want to share it, you want to spill out what troubles you, but your words get caught in your throat when Aemond goes down on one knee and presses a gentle kiss on your belly before he rests his forehead against it.
Now at this very moment, the tension of war is forgotten completely. You exist only in your bliss.
“I wanted to tell you. I had half the mind to fly to Rook’s Rest the moment I found out to tell you, but I resisted my urge,” you share as you swing your arm around his head to caress it gently as he keeps his forehead pressed against your belly. “So can you just pretend I told you and that the maester didn’t ruin it?”
He chuckles softly and tilts his head up to meet your gaze as he remains on one knee. “He also told me about one of them being smaller than the other.” He brings up and the blissful paradise comes crumbling down as the guilt and the worry return.
“Yes, he told me too…” you trail off and gulp. “I-I don’t know what that means. He said he’ll monitor me, but…I’m scared.”
Aemond pushes himself up to tower over you again and grabs your face with a gentle touch as if he's afraid he’ll break you if he's too rough.
“My mother said it happens,” he now comes to your aid even if he doesn’t really know either. “They’ll get stronger and be equal after a while.”
You don’t find comfort in Alicent’s words, you need to hear them from your mother or read her own words to feel completely comforted.
“Ok,” your voice trembles. “Aemond,” you say and grab his hands. “I’m sorry.”
His eyebrows pinch together so you quickly respond to his confusion. “If being with child is an inconvenience right now. Everything is so chaotic, I’m sorry if I have become a burden—”
“Quiet,” he cuts you off and pulls you to him. “Shut up. You are the furthest thing from a burden or an inconvenience. Don’t apologize. Don’t torment yourself. We are blessed. That’s all. The risks you’ll take are just fewer now, but it seems you and Helaena have found more comfort in each other so you won’t be bored here.”
You blink and that worry falls, he helped resolve it. The guilt has diminished as well, but now you’re completely baffled by what he says.
You won’t just sit by the fire, you may be with child, but you will not just sit idly by while he risks his life, while your brother is out there, and while your family still needs you too. Just because you’re expecting doesn’t mean you have to sit and wait like a trapped princess in distress!
“No,” you spat and let his hands go. He sees the fire already engulfing your eyes so he pouts in annoyance whilst he lets your face go too.
“I will not—”
“I will not sit here and wait for you to come back,” you cut him off lividly. “I have a dragon, I have skill! Just because I’m with child—”
“That’s exactly why!” He argues back with quick-growing frustration. “Do you really expect me to send you to fight while you’re expecting?! Do you really think I can just watch you in the sky knowing your state?! It’s like you said…”
You shake your head and turn away as he continues.
“…it takes one arrow, a dragon's jaw, or fire…”
Your eyes shift at the last mention and you almost want to rebuttal with the truth of your…fire resistance, but that would take you down a rabbit hole that you don’t want to fall into at this very moment. You need to make a point and win.
“I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or the twins,” he tries to lure you into the trap using sweet words that usually work. “I would not feel comfortable sending you out to battle now.”
“That’s the difference between me and you,” you counter right away and twist around to face him. “I will wear armor! I had armor made for me, I can protect myself! My dragon will protect me! I will not sit here and do nothing while you are out there! While Sunfyre and Aegon are now indisposed!”
Aemond strides to you, and you stand your ground and challenge him with your enraged glare alone.
“I don’t care what you want or don’t want, you are not going to fight on dragonback or on the ground,” he counters back spitefully with his nose flared and his glare piercing right back at you. “If you try I will lock you in here with a hundred guards. Or I will take you to a tower where you can’t reach your dragon and you’ll be miles away.”
You part your lips but you can’t argue back, you’re caught in disbelief because you know he would be capable of doing that. You’re also too enraged that your words turn to ashes in your mouth by the stupid tears that come to your eyes. Thus instead you snap around to give him your back as you approach the hearth keeping the room warm, and watch the dancing flames with your arms crossed over your chest.
Aemond sighs deeply and leaves the room silent for a moment as he lets his frustration and impatience leave his body before he approaches you from behind.
At first, he breaks the silence with the soft utter of your name before he makes the mistake of brushing his fingertips on your hip, causing you to flinch away out of fear that it was someone else.
“I’m sorry,” he mutters in confusion to your sudden jolt.
You realize what you did and take a deep breath, realizing that your rage gets snuffed out like dying fire.
At first, you did not think you wanted to tell Aemond what Aegon did, but he’s here now, you look at him now; the confusion on his face. You look at your best friend, your husband, and the man that you love, and the words crawl up your throat like bile.
“Aemond,” you whimper and his confusion is lost and replaced by concern once again.
The sound of your lips parting fills your chambers, but a breath is all that comes out. You can’t be outward with it, you’re too afraid, too ashamed, so you close the distance and bring your lips to his ear.
He does look at you completely puzzled albeit that soon diminishes and slowly transforms into livid rage as you whisper the words in his ear. After that, you only pull back when you try to plead your case as if he didn’t believe you right away. He did, you just need him to know desperately.
“I told him to stop, I did, I promise, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. You have to believe me, Aemond.” You cry and he sighs, but that anger doesn’t die, he just musters the softness he can to gently cup your face before he slides his hand down to stroke your chin.
“I believe you,” he whispers so you can hear, and presses his forehead against yours.
“I wanted to fight back,” you keep trying to tell him. “I promise. I…I.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” he coos and brings his hand back up to cradle your cheek and use his thumb to stroke it. “You will be okay.”
He suddenly rips himself away from you and stomps away. You turn to not miss a step and notice him grab his sword while he gets away in a rage, thus you interfere because you know he’s letting his anger steer his thoughts. “Aemond stop!”
He doesn’t falter in his pace, he keeps storming away.
“Aemond!” You cry out. “Stop! Aemond! Please,” you beg and it’s that quiver in your voice that stops him.
“Do you really expect me to stay here knowing what—”
“Stay with me,” you cut him off to tell him what you need the most. “Please don’t go. Just stay.”
Aemond slowly turns around and when he faces you he sees how hard you’re pleading with your teary eyes, and how much you need just his company. Not his rage, not his revenge, just his comfort. His anger does want to get the best of him, but he beats it down with a deep breath and rests his blade against the wall to go to you and immediately wrap you in an embrace.
When you’re surrounded by nothing but the security of his warm arms you let yourself melt in his embrace because you know that nothing and no one can hurt you there.
“Let’s take a bath, hm?” He suggests as he kisses the top of your head. “Me and you.”
You nod softly and after depleting him of all the comfort you need, as the sun leaves the earth and lets the moon and the stars shine, you have a bath drawn where hundreds of candles enlighten the room with their soft glow. Where a soothing incense fills the room, and the warm flames from the hearth near your bath is a warm third body that keeps you company while you relax against Aemond.
“And that one is my favorite song, there’s a certain eeriness to it, but also an enchanting melody that I love,” you muse as you cross one leg over the other.
Aemond hums. “Those have always been my favorite for you to sing,” he muses.
You smile widely, and slither your fingers over his gently caressing your knee, welcoming a silence to the room that causes Aemond to grow uncomfortable yet bold enough to ask one question he’s been holding back out of fear that you will admit that you hate him now, or that you’re only here because of Aerion.
He doesn’t want to hear rejection or see you turn your back on him. He still needs you and he doesn’t want to face potential abandonment. But he also can’t sleep peacefully not knowing how you feel after what he did.
“Can I ask you something?” Aemond brings up quietly before saying your name as if there were more people in this chamber. But there isn’t, it’s just you and him.
“Mhm,” you let him continue and lay your head back on his shoulder to look at him from the corner of your eyes.
“You know it was not Sunfyre or Aegon who brought down Rhaenys or Meleys,” he hesitates to say but he does speak it out loud, and right away he feels how stiff you grow.
“I…know,” you breathe out and slowly sit up, losing contact with his fingers, and causing his fingers on your knee to slip off. “I could read it off you. You weren’t so discreet you know? Maybe you should be a little less smug if you’re going to let Aegon take the win.”
He hums and sits up to press his hand on your back before gently wrapping his arm around your neck to speak by your ear. “Do you…hate me?”
How could you hate him when it’s yourself that you hate for failing her?
There’s no point in thinking. No debate needs to be had, it’s an easy answer that comes from the depths of your wounded heart.
“No,” you whisper, leaving no time for him to doubt your response. “Should I?”
You turn to face him with sincerity bringing tears to your eyes. “I don’t hate you.”
Aemond’s arm slips off you and his eye falls on the water, but rather than trying hard to find his gaze, you actually find his reflection in the water and see a frown on his face; one brought by sorrow and torment over your response.
It’s like he almost wants you to hate him.
“It’s different this time,” you try to explain without bringing up the real reason behind your logic. “She wasn’t a messenger, she wasn’t trying to get away, it was a battle. Death is never fair for people like her, she did not deserve to die, but her death was different because I know that she wouldn’t want to go out any other way. She went out like a dragon warrior. I know she fought hard until her last breath.”
Aemond’s eye climbs up your body and finds your attentive gaze, letting you see his eye clouded with tears and that weight not ease off his body, so you drag yourself in between his legs to cup his cheek and offer him a faint assuring smile.
“I do not hate you,” you assure him and hold his gaze so he can read that you’re being sincere.
When he has the confirmation his heart needs he lets out a deep breath that makes that tension lift off his chest.
“Now,” you change the subject before you start crying, and slide your hand down to hold his knee and gently shake his leg. “You are going to be Prince Regent.”
His lips tug to a faint flustered smile and his eye once again falls on the water.
“Grin, my love, all your hard work will pay off,” you flatter him with a beaming grin. “All that time spent in books, learning from great minds, and working tirelessly will be rewarded.”
Do you really think he has the mind to rule?
Maybe if he hadn't gotten his eye taken out, or if he had seen his father care for him after being maimed then he would be the ruler the Greens need to win, that the kingdoms need, but he’s fueled with anger. His ego is inflated because he never got told that he’s so much more than he knows, so he had to rely on his large dragon for power.
It’s not to say you aren’t proud of him, because you are. He’s worked hard, he’s leaned into his books to gain knowledge. He has a military mind and good swordsman skills. He's the one keeping his family alive, and he has much more logic than Aegon, but a good ruler needs to be more than that.
A good ruler needs to listen to his people, they need to be just but also need to know when to put their foot down. They need to control their emotions even if sometimes they get tested by idiots or people being too daring. They need to know when to pull their blade out to fight, and when to use harsh words instead. Can he do that?
You can’t be sure. To be honest, you are not sure he can, but it’s why he can be the key to getting your mother on the throne.
Is he something important, something so much more that people don’t see? Yes, a hundred times yes. You don’t doubt that, you genuinely are happy that he’s being seen, that he gets to finally prove himself because you know that there’s so much more to him that people don’t see, that they ignore because he’s a second son, and he’s more quiet, like a shadow.
He’s not scary or just intimidating like he lets people believe, he’s smart, he's gentle, he’s so much more than people see and you have always known that. You have always supported that. And that’s what you’re praising, because after all this waiting he’s no longer in the shadows. A light is shining on him. He deserves it.
“Maybe,” Aemond mutters with his smile faltering. “There’s also my mother. She’s Queen Dowager.”
You sit back on your legs and your confusion is clear. “But,” you genuinely argue. “Your mother ruled in a time of peace, and she has no military mind. They couldn’t really consider her. It’s you they’ll pick.”
Aemond meets your gaze and sighs deeply. “I cannot be sure until the morrow.”
You hum and avert your gaze to think if the men around the table will really pick Alicent over the next heir in Aegon's line of succession. It would be pretty stupid to pick Alicent when they’re working hard to remove your mother.
“Well, I'm sure they’ll pick you,” you express your genuine opinion. “They’ll be stupid not to. And you have an heir, maybe more on the way. Perfect choice I’ll say.”
His lips tug up to a soft smile, and your more negative opinions falter at the sight of that smile alone.
“And you,” he piques your interest whilst he leans over to capture your chin in between his thumb and his pointer finger. “You’ll be Princess Regent.”
You gulp nervously and shake your head. “Helaena is alive and healthy, I couldn’t be Princess Regent.” You contradict him, but he continues to press his side.
“My sister is sweet and good, but,” he sighs. “We all know she has no mind to be Queen, she’d rather be outside with her bugs than be anywhere near court, but you…you’re smart, fierce, attentive, and you have the mind to be a good Queen. The people love you and you care for them for some reason. You’ll be good.”
And there it is, your foundations shake at the sound of those sweet words that work like bait like magic to enchant you.
He would consider you, and that makes you consider a change of thought…
Like getting drunk, slowly your mind and your body start to lose yourself to its rich power.
“You think so?” You mumble softly with your eyes full of desperation to be told you can be so much more.
“I know it. You and I would be a powerhouse everyone would respect,” he doesn’t take back his opinion and it’s a dangerous thing. He needs to stop.
Stop.
Stop…
But you can’t help but smile like an idiot as your heart gets fed more of that addicting honey it can never get enough of. It’s all you ever wanted deep down. it’s a dream you even shared with Cregan and Arra…
But…no!
No! No…
——
*THE NEXT MORNING*
“They will name you regent,” you try to reassure him as you fix the collar of his leather vest. “I know it. So head up high and deep breath.”
He holds your gaze as he lets out a deep breath, making you giggle as you slide your hands down to pat his chest.
“I love you,” you don’t fret to send him off with sweet words that make his heart swoon.
“I love you too,” he doesn’t hesitate to return before he leans in and presses a kiss on your lips.
Before he can back away you steal one more kiss from his thin lips, causing him to leave with a faint smile.
After a few minutes of lingering in the spot where he left you, you scurry out the secret door and trudge through the secret tunnels to reach the shadows of the Small council room and be part of the big debate that will change the Green fraction one way or the other.
“The armor was Valyrian steel,” Maester Orwyle shares with the council. “But his Grace suffered grievous burns over much of his body. He has many broken bones. I fear there are more injuries within, injuries we cannot see.”
He can die for all you care.
“We are grateful for your works, Grand Maester,” Alicent interjects after you catch her take in a deep breath. “Has he woken?”
“No,” the maester doesn’t try to be assuring, he’s bold so no one gets any hope he might survive. “I must admit, I’m not sure he will ever wake. I have piled my crafts to their fullest extents. Our king's fate lies with the gods now.”
And may the gods be ever so merciful to give him death.
“A king cannot rule in his sleep,” you hear Alicent say after a few seconds of silence. “The realm will have noticed his absence. Let them hear of his great deeds at Rook’s Rest. But now we must name a regent to take his place until he recovers…or does not.”
You lean your ear closer to the gaps on the wall and wait to see if Aemond is right.
“A wise strategy, Your Grace,” you recognize Lord Larys’ pestering voice. “A regency will assure the people of the stability of the crown.”
A silence follows and you wonder why it’s so awkward in there when the choice is plain to see.
“Did you have a candidate in mind, Your Grace?” Ser Tyland asks.
“I myself served in this role for my husband, I am well-prepared to do it again,” she proves Aemond right, and if you would have bet you would have lost.
“You played your part admirably in a time of peace, Your Grace,” Lord Jasper weighs in. “But circumstances have changed.”
“And here I had forgotten,” you catch the sarcasm in Alicent’s voice which does amuse you.
“The King does not lack for heirs,” Lord Jasper continues to argue against Alicent. “The obvious choice is his immediate successor, Prince Aemond, who has his own heir in his son, strengthening the line of succession.”
“Agreed,” Ser Tyland comments, making your heart skip a beat for Aemond.
“Aemond is young,” Alicent immediately rebuttals, causing your eyebrows to furrow because you all know there’s been younger Kings. “And his lack of restraint has already cost us dearly.”
A third silence follows and you suspect it’s because she wants people to agree with her, but it doesn’t seem like anyone does. Which is awkward, you can feel that tension from where you are.
“It is an experience that offers the surest path to security,” you hear the maester give his opinion. “Queen Alicent ably shouldered the duties of the realm when her husband's health failed him.”
Once again in a time of peace, it doesn’t seem like she has a military mind. And someone could argue that your mother doesn’t either, but you know her, she’s smart and leans on her books. She doesn’t need her father like Alicent needed hers.
“Experience is valuable, yes,” Lord Jasper interjects. “But the Dowager Queen is a woman.”
You almost have to laugh but you hold it in. It’s so poetic really.
“I’m no stranger to rule or to sitting at this council,” Alicent argues. “Aemond is a fearsome dragonrider. His skill is best employed in the field, but my experience is needed here, at this table—”
“No offense was meant, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland cuts her off as she’s growing frustrated. “But at a time when we must show strength.”
“Lord Larys,” she tries to garner the man’s support.
“I agree, Your Grace, it must be Prince Aemond,” he contradicts her. “What would it say if, in response to Rhaenyra’s crowning, we raised up a woman of our own?”
Oh sweet, sweet karma.
“But, um…the Hand speaks for the King’s voice, Ser Criston what say you?”
You start to fiddle with your hands as a smirk tugs on your face.
“Aemond is the next in line,” he adds salt to the injury. “It must be him.”
You can’t help it, you grin.
“It’s agreed then,” Aemond finally breaks his silence before you hear the sound of him rising from his chair and his heels clicking around the table.
And just like that he is now regent, Alicent has now been treated the way she treated your mother. The Green fraction has changed to a more Ironfist rule. You can be certain of that.
“What is our standing in the Riverlands?” Aemond jumps right into business, proving already to possess a better mind than Aegon ever did.
“Uh, the banners of House Tully are in disarray, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland is the one who gives Aemond the answer he sought, and the first one to call him your Grace, which brings a chill down your spine. “Prince Daemon has little hope of fielding an army or any, for now.”
Why do they doubt Daemon so much? Is it just that they hope that their negativity will help him fail?
You don’t like him, and you know he has the power to gain that army, you know he will.
“We would do well to send word to young Oscar Tully,” Lord Larys follows up with his comment. “It’s only a matter of time before he inherits his grandsire’s mantle.”
“Tell me, Lord Strong, how I can trust the counsel of a man who leaves the jewel of the Riverlands to be plucked by our enemy?”
You wait for the response from the Lord, but he gives none, and you couldn’t be more smug that he didn’t and that he’s most likely intimidated by Aemond.
“Your brother's host can meet Daemon,” Aemond changes the subject to now speak to Ser Tyland. “He should quicken its pace and check the Rivermen while their banners are in disarray.”
No matter what you can’t help but be proud of Aemond. Command suits him.
“I shall send Lord Jason encouragement,” Ser Tyland assures Aemond.
“What else?” Aemond probes.
“We might turn our attention to the smallfolk here in King’s Landing,” Maester Orweyle says. “They have grown weary of the Sea Snake’s blockade.”
“So have we all,” Aemond says nonchalantly.
“Many are fleeing the city,” the maester continues. “Spreading word of their fear and unrest.”
“Mm, then let the gates be closed,” Aemond picks the wrong choice which proves you right too. “No one is to leave or enter, save with our consent. Merchants, so forth.”
And that’s how you get the smallfolk to hate you. He’s supposed to assure them, feed them, and give them something to hope for, not fear and disdain. Hopefully, your mother can work that in her favor.
“Ser Criston,” Aemond calls out. “I need you to pick three of your best and most trusted men. I shall have two guarding my son and heir, and a second guard protecting my wife. She’s with child, I don’t wish to leave her vulnerable.”
Your breath catches and your heart skips a beat.
It is going to be harder to just be around the Red Keep, but you are happy he didn’t forget about you or Aerion.
“Go to your tasks,” Aemond then abruptly ends the meeting. “We shall meet again at first light. Oh, and someone cut down the fucking ratcatchers.”
Finally! You thought it was never going to be taken down, it’s such a nasty display.
Nevertheless, now to report to your mother. And since Aemond did mention he was going to be busy after the Small council meeting, you have time to take the message to Astraea so she can go take it right away. Plus there’s another matter you need to entrust your mother about because she's the only one you trust to give you comfort.
Which is why in the second letter you write, you make sure to direct to your mother.
“Dear Rhaenyra,
As you know I am with child. The maester assured me of that not long ago, but he also told me something else. He said that one twin is smaller than the other, and honestly, that frightens me. Alicent said it could be fixed in time, but I don’t trust her, and I don’t know what it really means. I just want to know if they’ll be okay. I need them to be okay.”
You don’t sign your name, but there’s no one else who would write to her so there’s no need to really sign your name. Hopefully, this time they write back though, or send anything in return so you’re not left worried. You made sure to point that out so hopefully they listen.
And! Hopefully, Jacaerys’ nosy ass doesn’t read your personal letter to your mother!
He would dare, he would be so protective about it, like, “come home now!” It’s a surprise he didn’t fly after you when he found out you left! Sure you feel bad for leaving him behind, but he has Baela, he won’t be alone. He’ll just be worried about you, annoying too because he wants to hear any news from you, and he will also probably be attentive to any sighting of Astraea in hopes to hear any news from you, so maybe you should write a warning to keep him out.
You should, but you don’t, just like you don’t take the secret tunnels to the cove where Astraea is resting. You’re simply going to the cove behind the castle to visit your dragon, that's all! If there’s eyes on you they won’t find you suspicious, you’re not flaunting the letters; you have them hidden, and you have your sworn protector trailing behind you. There’s no need for alarm or whispers to be spread or given to Aemond, it’s a simple visit…
You just need to secure something on her horn.
Yet as you’re trying to secure the letters, she suddenly slips her head away and starts to growl at your sworn protector in the shadows.
“<Astraea, calm girl,” you assure her. “He’s a friend. He’s my sworn protector. It’s alright.>”
Astraea doesn’t listen; she pushes herself closer to the man, making sure to block your path with her large neck.
“<Astraea,>” you warn her. “<Stop.>”
Her growling gets louder and you see her opening her jaw, pushing Ser Jason against the wall with panicked breaths.
“It’s alright Ser,” you try to assure him. “She won’t harm you. She’s just wary, but <he’s a friend>,” you address the last comment to Astraea, but she has a mind of her own. She corners the man and you watch her nostrils flare as she sniffs him.
“Astraea,” you call out and try to inch closer, but the moment she hears your feet shift she moves her neck against you and starts to snarl until she then suddenly grows quiet, and her neck starts to move away from you, letting you see her close her mouth, and blink as her pupils dilate while she looks at the panicked man before her.
Instead of calling her to back away, you watch with growing curiosity as she then begins to coo at him.
Ser Jason notices the hostility slip away so between pants and with wide eyes he slowly raises his hand and carefully reaches out for her scaled nostril.
You expect your dragon to move, but she remains where she is and lets the man pet her, pulling a surprised breath out of you.
“You,” you huff with relief that she didn’t kill him. “Must be special.”
Ser Jason’s blue eyes snap to you and his eyes almost pop out of his skull before he shakes his head. “No—I mean I am a—”
“She likes you,” you cut off his nervous rambling with a sweet smile. “Funny way of showing it, but she does. She let you pet her. There’s only a few people who aren’t of Valyrian descent that she lets pet her.”
Ser Jason’s eyes slowly drift away as his hand slips off Astraea, letting her back away and turn her head towards you to focus on you.
“<You naughty girl,>” you taunt her and watch her lips spread up as if she’s responding to your comment and smile with a smirk. “Sorry,” you direct at Ser Jason. “For the fright.”
The knight lets out a deep breath to relieve himself of that fear that he was just hit with, and with a breathless laugh, retorts, “I can finally say I have touched a dragon. It’s fine.”
You hum softly in return and once and for all attach the letters to your dragon's horn before you throw your arms around her in an attempt to embrace her. But she’s too big now, your arms don’t go around her anymore, they're just spread out against her in an attempt.
“<You know what you must do, my girl. Remember just my mother, Jace, Baela, or my grandfather can grab the letters. No one else. Don’t delay and be careful.>”
Lady Arra Norrey always poked fun at you for talking to your dragon like you talk to a person, but dragons understand more than commoners know, and Astraea understands you at a deep level.
“<Now go.>” You send her off and don’t move away, you approach the shore to watch her ascend the skies.
It’s once she’s high in the clouds that you return inside, and this time rather than having a clear path, you’re interrupted just at the last courtyard before you can reach the doors. Thankfully it’s on your way back to your quarters though and not the other way around.
“Princess,” Ser Gwayne Hightower brings you to a stop, making you take a deep and annoyed breath before you turn to face him with a plastered smile.
“Ser,” you greet and watch him bow his head at you before he finishes approaching you to be closer. “You returned.”
That’s all, you’re not glad he did, you’re not surprised either, he just returned, it’s that simple.
“Thanks to your favor,” he retorts smugly, making you scoff.
“Me or a few other pretty ladies?” You remark, making him flash you a charming grin before he chuckles and nods.
“Oh yes many did give me their favors,” he doesn’t remain modest, he’s blunt and that makes an amused smile twitch on your lips unwillingly. “But only one worked in my favor. The only one close to the gods, yours, my Princess.”
You hold his gaze as you nod in comprehension before you hide your flattered smile by looking at the ground.
“I heard you are quite a spectacular singer,” he continues trying to work his charm on you. “The Siren of Driftmark. I have wanted to hear if it’s true that your voice is as enchanting as they say.”
You draw in a deep breath and clasp your hands together before you roll your eyes up to look at him with a mischievous smirk that he starts to take in his favor. Yet…
“Was it your idea to parade around the head of my grandmother's dragon throughout the city?” You bring a cold end to his flattery and make that ever-so-charming smile fall.
“No,” he clears his throat and shifts back, making your own smirk deepen. “It was Ser Criston Cole’s.”
“Our good Lord Hand,” you both say in sync and with the same level of sarcasm, bringing a silence where you both share a teasing smile as if you were friends sharing gossip.
“He may have a good military mind,” he shares with you after a small genuine smile. “But may the gods help him with political matters.”
You hum and nod. “It seems the realm was in better hands with your father as hand and Ser Criston as Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.”
“I’ll say.” He doesn’t shy away from agreeing. “Uh, I heard of your accident, I do hope you are okay.” He changes the subject smoothly, causing you to blink in surprise and find yourself answering without disdain.
“Quite, being with child just takes a toll. Thank you, Ser.”
He bows his head and just as he parts his lips to add more, a third voice cuts in. “Uncle.”
You both look at the incomer and notice Aemond with his eye locked on his uncle.
“Nephew,” Ser Gwayne greets Aemond with a smile, unlike Aemond who seems bothered—“I was just talking to the Princess. You have quite the pretty pearl here.”
You swallow back nervously and watch Aemond’s chest rise whilst the corner of his lips twitch to a forced smile.
“And you are expecting!” Ser Gwayne brings up and leans toward Aemond to pat his arm. “Congratulations, nephew.”
Aemond offers him a stiff nod of his head so you cut in. “Thank you, Ser. He is the most delighted.”
Aemond hums and remains cold and bothered so you cut this conversation short before you’re swallowed by the awkwardness that begins to build. “I hope we get to see more of you before you’re off again, maybe you can meet our son, Aerion.”
“Ah, yes I would be delighted, my sister speaks fondly of her grandchildren. I will have to see them for myself,” Ser Gwayne says in return, letting you offer him the first genuine smile before you turn and head inside with Aemond who keeps his jaw clenched and his eye narrowed.
“What…were you talking about?” Aemond tries to hide how jealous he is, but it's a futile attempt considering it’s written all over his face; in his flared nostrils, in the darkness in his eye that is brought up by annoyance and anger, and in his raised chest in attempts to try and insert his dominance over you.
Any other time you would find it amusing, it's his uncle and he can’t help but be jealous, but right now you’re bothered by something else entirely that you won’t let go unheard of.
“<The nasty parade that took place while I was abed,>” you take your opportunity to bring up without actually deflecting because it’s true, the topic was brought up.
But of course, he doesn’t answer, do you let it go though? No, you don't back off even if you see him wanting to avoid the topic, you press the matter with growing frustration.
“<When do people stop fearing gods, Aemond?>” You ask rhetorically. “<When they see gods bleed. They saw that dragon's head being paraded around the city and saw that they’re just like every other animal.>”
“<They're not,” Aemond scoffs back in High Valyrian, just like you. “<They can test it if they like, let’s see what fate awaits from them then.>”
You share a dry chuckle and only counter when you’re past the doors and inside the Red Keep. “<Don't underestimate the power of the people, Aemond. They can find power in rage if you give them the right spark. And that display…>” you trail off but don’t ease off him, you don’t use your anger either, you let it go with a deep exhale and instead, try to work this in your favor with the simple power of your enchanting voice.
“<No qualified Hand would have allowed that to happen, or even given it any thought. Dragons are the power of our house, they are sacred creatures. You know that. He doesn’t understand; he did something stupidly foolish that could cost us a lot.>”
Aemond finally looks over at you as if captured by your words, or as if he agrees too.
“<He’s our Lord Commander of the Kingsguard,>” he brings up, but that doesn’t work in anyone's defense. You use that.
“Exactly.”
Aemond studies you to try and get in your mind and read your running thoughts, finding that the words you just sang are haunting his mind instead, like a melody one can’t forget.
“I’m not saying he’s not a qualified man,” you add softly as you climb up flights of stairs to head to your room. “He may not be my favorite, he may have quite a reputation, but he still has a good mind for battle. That I can say. Maybe his skills will be best displayed trying to take Harrenhal, hm? The longer that gets left alone, the more time Daemon has to gain power there.”
“I thought you didn’t like him,” Aemond brings up and glances ahead.
“No,” you scoff. “I don’t, but,” you sigh. “He’s smart. He has experience. I can admit that. We have to admit that to ourselves.”
Aemond hums and you look at him as he looks ahead. And after knowing you said all you needed to say on the matter without being pushy or suspicious, you finally shift over to a matter that brings a bright grin to your face.
“So?! Tell me, are you Regent?”
Aemond’s eye falls and a soft smile slowly starts to grow on his face before he lifts his head and meets your gaze, showing off that smile that gives you your answer and makes you squeal before you bring the both of you to a stop atop the stairs when you throw your arms around him.
“I told you! Congratulations, my love,” you praise him genuinely since you know how much he wants to prove himself. “I knew you’d get it.”
He can’t help it, he wants to grow smug, but he grows flustered instead and only makes that smile grow warm.
“You deserve it,” you whisper so only he can hear.
Aemond wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss on the top of your head, keeping his lips and nose pressed against you as he takes in the praise that you alone have given him.
“Thank you,” he mutters against you.
You hum and pull your head back to meet his eye. “Really, I’m proud of you,” you whisper with no sign of deceit, your words come from the bottom of your heart because now people can see what you see, what you have always seen; that he’s so much more, that he is something.
“I…” he trails off and his eye turns glossy, while a breath catches in his throat and a fondness and awe paints his face. “I love you.”
You bring one hand up to caress his cheek, making him lean towards your touch right away as if instinct to seek your warmth and comfort.
“I love you too,” you redirect softly and press a gentle kiss against his lips.
“You are my Princess Regent,” he whispers against your lips, making you scoff and gently smack his chest before you pull away from his grasp to continue to your shared quarters.
Aemond of course doesn’t hesitate to follow at your side and presses what he said. “I can make you that if you want. You and me.”
You shake your head. “It can’t happen. Helaena is Queen, and,” you hesitate and he knows that so he uses it in his favor.
“You don’t want it?”
You want to say no, but you part your lips and you can’t bring yourself to counter or deny. Instead, once again there’s something dark and hungry that plagues you…
And it doesn’t let you answer
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” you retort and flash him a feigned smile. He wants to counter, but you leave him no room to answer because you pick up your pace to finally get off the stairs.
Once you reach your quarters you find Vanessa with Aerion and Shrykos. You see Aerion happy with his little hatchling, you see him get even happier when he sees his father and you can’t help it, all your mind focuses on is spending time with your family. You watch as Aemond interacts with Aerion and his little hatchling. You see how much Aerion loves spending time with Aemond and vice versa. You cherish the moment, you live in it because of what lurks outside your safety walls.
Even when you see Astraea return to the city, you don’t let your attention drift away. This stolen moment is where you find joy, where you find awe as you see how easy Aerion falls asleep when he’s laying on Aemond’s chest as the three of you just spend time on the bed with Aemond’s head on your lap, your fingers messaging his temple, and your eyes interlocked as if sharing hundreds of words in the silence.
Soon there will hopefully be more of you, you and Aemond will be outnumbered, but nothing will ever lessen the love you give your son. You may love each other selfishly, and Aemond may put you over everything, but that will never impact how much you love your children because he doesn’t want them to feel lonely like the way he felt when you were gone from his life and no longer there to be the hopeful light in the darkness. He knows that for certain, just like you know for certain that you would not mind living in this peaceful moment forever.
Yet the peace gets interrupted by Ser Criston requiring Aemond’s attention to take a look at the men he chose to protect you and your son. And since the moment was already interrupted you find your chance to go to Astraea and check for any notes.
And this time there is a note from your mother that you read in the safety of your room since Aemond will be gone for a while.
“I hope you find yourself well. I thank you for your sacrifices, it must not be easy having to sneak about the Red Keep, so thank you, my Sweet. Astraea will grow impatient, and someone will suspect if she’s gone too long so I will get to the point. With the help of the Mysaria, I have sent Elinda to King’s Landing to help with a secret plan to gain the favor of the smallfolk. By the time you get this, she should be at the west city gates by nightfall, she will stay with a friend. I hope you can send someone you trust to see her in the city, she will share what we have planned—”
You pull your eyes off the paper and glance over at Vanessa as she’s the only one you can trust to do what your mother wants of you.
“—As to you. I would really like it if you came home now, I would feel more comfortable with you being taken care of by a maester I can trust. Please come home, leave Vanessa there to help Elinda, and relay any plans the greens have, just come home.
Love, your mother.”
Come home?
It's true that you would feel more comfortable there regarding your twins, but when you go home what will you do? Just sit around the table and listen? Sit and do nothing while a war rages around you?
You already failed her, failed them all once, you need to prove yourself. That’s why you’re here because you wanted to prove to your mother that you can be useful, that you can be something. You can do that here, not there trapped like a bird.
You can’t go home. No matter how much she wants you back, no matter how much you do ache to return, you can’t leave yet. Thus you stride towards the hearth and throw the letter in the fire so it’s not discovered.
Once the paper and all the words are ash you lift your nose in the air and call out to your handmaiden. “Vanessa could you let Ser Jason in, I need to speak to the both of you.”
Vanessa doesn’t wait or question you, she beckons your sworn protector, and once he’s inside and they both stand a few feet behind you, you slowly turn to face them with confidence so they feel it too.
“I need you, Vanessa to go into the city,” you share without dragging it out just in case Aemond does come soon. “Elinda is on her way to the city and I need you to help her inside. I need you to help her for me. Be my ears, my voice with what she needs.”
Vanessa’s dark eyes slowly drift down as many thoughts cross her mind. Many doubts you’re sure. The city is dangerous nowadays, and there’s no guarantee that her whereabouts won’t be caught, but you need her to run the risk because you can’t. She has a higher chance of being in the city undetected, you not so much.
“I know I'm asking a lot, but you are the only one I trust with this,” you try to make her feel comfortable. “My mother does too, if you don’t feel comfortable helping, just let Elinda in the city and walk her to where she’ll stay, okay?”
Vanessa lets out a deep breath and after a few seconds her eyes slowly scale up and she finds you, letting you see the sense of determination painting her pretty face. “I will do it, I’ll help you, the Queen, and Elinda. With whatever they need.” She assures you with a nod and a gentle smile, making you flash her a grin before you now address your sworn protector.
“As for you Ser, I need you to accompany Vanessa, protect her like you do me while she’s out in the city. She is my dearest friend and I don’t want anything to happen to her.”
Ser Jason glances at the woman beside him and swallows thickly before he looks back at you and doesn’t hesitate, he nods in agreement.
“I will protect her as I do you, my Princess,” he says with a sense of confidence that strikes him too. “I am also friends with the Gold Cloaks, I can convince them to let your friend in.”
You sigh with relief and nod in comprehension. “Good, I’m glad. Now go before Aemond gets here. And ser, don’t walk so tense, pretend you’re…taking the lady out to the city, hm?” You suggest, making his cheeks grow furiously red. “I’m being serious.”
Vanessa glances at the timid man and snickers before she approaches you and looks at you with concern and sorrow. “And you? Will you light the pyre alone?”
Your eyes flicker down, but you quickly blink and look back at her with a faint assuring smile so she doesn’t have to worry. “I’m no stranger to grieving alone. I will be fine, I know how to build a pyre.”
“It is raining,” Vanessa argues in an attempt to have you wait for her to light your grandmother's funeral pyre. “Maybe tomorrow—”
“I will be fine, I already know which courtyard to use. Go, I will be fine.” You interrupt her so she can stop worrying. “I’ll see you on the morrow hm?”
She hesitates now for the first time, and as if she was a caring older sister she pats your cheek and offers you a sweet smile.
Before she can go you grab ahold of her hand and welcome her comfort for a lingering moment before you let her go.
Once you’re alone, and Aerion’s wetnurse arrives to take care of him, you put on a beautiful blue velvet cloak and direct yourself to the courtyard you told Vanessa about; one close to the throne room, one with a spiral roof that welcomes the thick drops of rain through the gaps that usually welcome the sunlight on a clear day, or the moonlight on a cloudless night, but not today.
Today the rain is like music against the stone ground, the rain is a mess and puddles around your feet, soaking the ends of your gown and cloak. Lighting and thunder accompany the sheets of rain today, which would add an ominous feeling in the darkness of the night, but the bright fire that lights the shitty pyre you built, burns away the menacing presence of the lightning and thunder.
Now one would wonder how a pyre is still lit with how hard the rain hits the earth, but the center of the courtyard offers a roof that protects the fire and keeps most of you dry. That’s where you stand, that’s where the fire eats away at the wood in peace, and where it’s allowed to glow ragefully; basking the entire courtyard in its red and orange hue as if it was like a wildfire with the power of a thousand suns, and engulfing you with its illuminating hue that makes the grief and sorrow on your face look angelic.
Or that’s what poets would write, what bypassers would think as they watched how the raging light kisses your face and makes those tears on your cheeks glimmer like shining crystals, but you feel anything but divine, you’re grieving alone again. Just like how you grieved your father six years ago.
You shouldn’t be a stranger to grieving alone, but here you are again, away from your cousins, brother, mother, and grandfather who loved your grandmother and Meleys. You’re alone again in front of a funeral pyre bidding a last goodbye to someone you love, and no one is here to hold your hand or embrace your shaking shoulders. You’re alone grieving a grandmother you failed.
Maybe if you had written that letter faster, or sent that warning before, then she would still be alive. If you could’ve done what you were sent to do right she would be victorious or perhaps left with her life, but you failed her, you failed your Queen; your mother, and those who loved your grandmother. You amounted to nothing, but maybe that’s what you’ve been all along?
A simple girl with a luxurious title who dreamt too big and wanted too much. A selfish girl who thought she could get the world, but can’t get a scrap because no matter how hard you try you can’t reach those stars to amount to anything. You can’t feed the hunger inside you. You can’t be anything…
But…
As you stand there in the silence of solace, as you hear the fire crackle, the rain patter, and the thunderclap in the sky, there’s something that you feel calling you, something in the fire.
Something that has always called out to you since you could remember, but something that you have ignored, that you want to ignore now as you mourn your grandmother.
Yet the hot flames dry your tears and its heat embraces you tighter, but like every other time, its embrace, its kiss, and its touch is not uncomfortable like it is to everyone else. It’s welcoming, it’s nice like a friend…that’s been with you since you can recall.
No matter how hard you try, its whispers grow louder, but never desperate, it’s calling is charming, and like many other times, it entrances you.
The longer you stare at its beauty, the more it promises, swears that it’s empowering but only if you embrace it back.
You try to look away regardless of what calls for you, but how can you turn your back on what’s feeding your starving soul?
Fire kills the girl and awakens the dragon.
You can’t look away. You can’t ignore it. Not anymore.
Thus you mindlessly shrug your cloak off and let it drown in the puddle around your feet. You kick your shoes off because you are mindful of how much you love your shoes, and get closer, but it almost feels like you aren't the one controlling your body, it’s being controlled by the power of the trance. It moves you and you let it.
You raise your hand from your side and reach for the flames as if reaching out for an inviting hand.
You don’t show hesitation or fear, a malicious smirk tugs on your lips and the confidence, pride, and malice that washes over you gleams in your eyes like the illuminating fire because there’s never been anything to fear about the fire. It's why you don’t think of pulling away, you embrace the fire like securing your grip on an inviting hand.
Yet just as you raise your foot to step inside the calling flames, a hand suddenly grabs a hold of your wrist and you’re yanked back harshly under the rain.
When you look at the intruder you meet the gaze of your husband, your Aemond looking at you with horror. Yet that emotion slowly fades away as he lifts your hand and sees that you’re unharmed.
Now instead of fearing that you were going to jump in the fire to hurt yourself, he’s left flabbergasted and confused. You could explain it to him with words, but at that moment you can’t muster a single syllable, so instead you pull away and show him.
Aemond wants to stop you again. It’s an instinct, but when you put your hand in the fire and don’t wince, or make a sound of pain, as he sees that the fire doesn’t hurt a single perimeter of your flesh he’s struck with awe that leaves him paralyzed where he stands. It’s not horror or disgust. You walk under the rain again and study him closely to make sure, to know if you should be ashamed, but no matter how much you search his face or dig your gaze in his, there’s nothing you see but awe, admiration, a bit of confusion, and more adoration for you.
He sees you with the opposite of what you feared, with love and fascination, and you feel seen.
There in the darkness you are cast in is your light and you feel…like…you can be something important under his eye, with him because he sees you.
Sure you could have shown your mother, your brother, or even Cregan that the fire doesn’t hurt you. It’s your friend, you're immune to its violence and that’s your gift, but you didn’t share that with them and they didn’t see, but Aemond does. He sees you now, he looks at you like you are something more than you thought you could be and you’re relieved
You have yet to fully be embraced by the flames, but at last, someone knows and someone loves you for it. Someone sees your value and your power. Then again in some ways he always has, now he just sees all of you.
“Come with me,” he whispers, and thunder cuts in from the distant sky.
He offers you his hand and you don’t hesitate, you place your hand over his, and secure his grasp. Before you leave though you slip your shoes back on and pick up your cloak drenched with water.
At first, you expect to be taken well anywhere else but the throne room. Yet much to your surprise, you’re now embraced by the darkness of the glorious hall with only the night's hue casting in a natural light, and the occasional shots of bright lightning flashing an ominous light.
“They would love you,” his voice oozes out like honey. “I know that. Even now they love you, but imagine then, hm?” His words travel in your ear and they make a chill crawl down your spine.
“We—even before we married, when we were just kids…” he says and walks around you, making sure to bring his hand up to press his palm down on the back of your neck, making the hairs on the back of your neck rise, and those goosebumps to spread as he brings his lips close to your ear and lets his breath unfurl over your skin.
“…we were a lot more than my sister and Aegon. We valued our traditions, we value them even now. We are what all Targaryens rulers should be because we always wanted it.”
…he…
“Can’t you see it? Can’t you see us?” He whispers against your flesh, tempting you to tilt your head to try and meet his lips.
“Be Regent with me,” he offers again, but this time in a soft and almost pleading voice that makes your body move so you can be face to face and interlock gazes.
“I hear your protests,” he adds and glances at your lips only inches away from his. “But Helaena has never wanted what she has, you have…”
He…
“You and I will be the best of them,” he continues and continues to grow this realization. That’s what it is, a realization in the darkness of the room.
No matter how much you have tried to deny it, how hard you have pushed it down and brushed it off, it’s always been there. And it was never a darkness, and that hunger for more was never a plague. That’s a lie.
There was this desire, this need always within you. He knows that he sees that like no one else has. And just like the fascination he had for you when he saw you unhurt by the fire, now you return that fascination for him and his offer.
“You and me,” you whisper and those silent words travel over the sound of thunder because you can feel the warmth of his lips basically embrace yours.
And instead of answering with words, a malicious smirk tugs on his lips, and his awe only heightens for you, drawing him to smash his lips over yours just as you lean in at the same time, and bringing you both to forget where you are.
The rain patters harshly against the windows, against the roof, the thunder booms, and the lightning strikes the earth and flashes its bright light, but neither of you give it a second thought or any thought at all. It’s just you and him, basking in the passion brought by your selfish desires come to life. Because that's what it is, selfish on your part. It’s not selfless, you did not accept his offer for her, you accepted because you wanted to.
But Daemon pushed you here, didn’t he?
And Aemond sees you, he sees something in you. You can be something with him. That’s all you want, that’s all you have wanted.
——
*SOMETIME LATER*
“He dares to summon me!” Aemond barks with rage after reading a demand from Lord Jason Lannister. “With haste?”
He throws the crumbled letter to the side and leans over the table to glare at the brother sitting at your right side.
“Are the Lannisters so diminished that they cannot march from the Tooth to Harrenhal without an escort?”
You clasp your hands over the table and slowly drift your gaze to the blond man avoiding Aemond’s seething glare.
“There is a large dragon in the Riverlands, Your Grace,” Ser Tyland defends his brother's choice, which makes sense, but also sounds a bit like an excuse. A pretty pathetic excuse. “My brother's army is strong, but it does seem—”
“I am the Prince Regent,” Aemond reminds the man. “Not a dog to be called to heel. Tell your brother that if he does not deliver his host to Harrenhal, with ‘haste’,” he mocks. “Daemon’s dragon will become the least of his worries.”
A smirk tugs on your lips that you can't hide, that you can’t shame either. Aemond is right to be angry, and right to project his anger in that way, or else they won’t listen. Besides, you do have to admit you like it when he’s angry, and this new role of command suits him well.
Yet not everyone agrees, especially not his mother. She glances over at you in search of aid, but you just meet her gaze and flash her your smirk as you lift your nose in the air and sit back; because now you too carry this sense of cockiness, this rise in your ego that comes with your new title that the Lords around the table had to oblige to out of fear of Aemond.
If it were up to them they wouldn’t have allowed the daughter of Rhaenyra to sit amongst them and listen to their war plans, but you are now the Princess Regent in a time of war, you are needed around the table to listen mostly. And yes that bugs you, you still want to do more, and you hope now that Aemond discovered your immunity he’ll let you do more, that he’ll let you fight like you wanted to, but you don’t know. You haven’t talked about that night and the fact that he saw that the fire is not harmful or deadly to you, you haven’t had time, and even if you know you saw the love and awe in his eyes you still fear what he has to say on the matter, so that also why you haven’t really tried to talk about it.
You’ll talk about it soon, you have to, right now you’re just relishing in the fact that you’re around the table and that you have a more important title. You find pride in it, and more power than you’ve had before.
It’s intoxicating.
“Your irritations are justified, Aemond,” Alicent tries to do what she wanted you to do. “But it does seem—”
“I have a task for you, as well,” Aemond cuts Alicent off as he begins to stalk around the table. “Ser Tyland.”
Alicent’s brown eyes once again find you and pass her confusion for her son's sudden cold shoulder towards her, and even if you know what brought this on, you don’t offer her sympathy or pity, you look at her blankly before following Aemond with your eyes and watch him land behind Ser Tyland, like a predator scaring its prey.
“We will make an alliance with the Triarchy,” Aemond continues. “I've had enough of this cursed blockade.”
“My Prince,” Ser Tyland tries to bring up an argument. “You cannot mean to treat with the Free Cities. The captains of their ships are dangerous mercenaries, little more than pirates—”
“They are a stone's throw away across the Narrow Sea,” Aemond cuts the man's argument off as he steals a glance at you to let his gaze linger on you before he drops his eye on the man under him. “Lannister and Hightower ships will take months to arrive. The Triarchy will delight in the chance to terrorize the Sea Snake again. Let them weaken his blockade while our true allies make their long journey east.”
“The Triarchy may play at accepting terms but they are not to be trusted,” Alicent tries to reason with Aemond. “Your father knew this. What has come of our letters to the Greyjoys?” She drifts to a different matter in the same territory.
“They have been to no avail,” maester Orwyle gives the Dowager Queen the answer she seeked.
“The Red Kraken waits,” Lord Jasper interjects. “Seeking his best advantage. Though we may draw him in with honey. If it comes to it. An offer of marriage, perhaps to the Dowager Queen?”
You snicker in amusement and Alicent glances at you as she protests. “Out of the question.”
“You’ll have better luck breaking the Ice Wall,” you break your silence with knowledge you harbor from your past in the North. “When I was ward to Lady Karstark, the Greyjoys would send raid parties to Stony Shores, so to make them stop Lord Bennard Stark sent a proposal, one of his sons to one of Lord Greyjoy's many daughters,” you scoff and slowly lean forward.
“Lord Greyjoy sent back a nasty and bloody reply to deny the proposal. The raids did not stop until Lord Cregan Stark became lord because the Greyjoys’s answer with violence. I would suggest letting them sack some town close to their shores to gain their favor.”
“A bloody proposal but it might work,” Lord Larys actually says in your favor.
Alas Lord Jasper counters with discreet disagreement.
“We would have to think about it, and think of which shores they can attack.”
And that’s another way of saying no. You’ll tell your mother then, or Daemon, they’ll listen and gain their favor instead.
“The Dowager Queen spoke wisely, Your Grace,” Ser Criston cuts in. “Even if the blockade could be broken, are we to invite these alien raiders into our waters, so close to King’s Landing?”
“It’s time you set out for Harrenhal, I think,” Aemond pays his thought no mind and actually does as you told him. Which only works to feed that already heightened cockiness.
“Your Grace, if Daemon prevails in the Riverlands I no longer have the numbers to challenge him,” Ser Criston rebuttals, making you bite back your smug smile as you sit back and instead let your cockiness be shown in the way you sit, and the way your nose is slightly perked to touch the air, welcoming the sunlight to kiss your face just perfectly and only make you look that more regal.
“We lost much at Rook’s Rest,” Ser Criston makes sure to share while his eyes follow Aemond as he sits on the edge of the table beside him. “As you well know.”
“The longer we wait, the more chance he will prevail,” Aemond rebuttals using a variation of what you told him not long ago. “Lannister will march from the west. Take what strength we have and force Daemon and his Riverlords to fight on two fronts.”
You fiddle with one of your many rings on your fingers and watch the man seem almost hesitant to do as he’s told.
“His Grace speaks wisely,” Lord Larys says, but Ser Criston argues.
“We would do better to await the Hightower host and set out in good time.”
Aemond’s gaze drifts to you and you lock eyes but say or motion for nothing. You remain as prideful and smug and just hold his gaze until he returns his attention to the man beside him.
“There is no time,” Aemond counters. “It’s a fortnight's march to Harrenhal. We must strike before his army is raised.”
“And you yourself?”
Aemond tilts his head up and once again shares his smugness on the Daemon matter. “I will fly out to meet you when the time is ripe. My uncle is a challenge I welcome…if he dares face me.”
You could laugh at that. You could laugh at the many things Aemond says about Daemon because he thinks that Daemon is somehow scared, or at his level, and sure Aemond is threatening with Vhagar and his swordsman’s skills, but Aemond doesn’t have Daemon’s experience yet, once he does then you can say they could see eye to eye.
“I have some concerning news to share,” Lord Larys interjects and earns everyone’s attention. “I have just heard that Lord Cregan Stark leads an army of two thousand older men.”
You blink and that overpowering arrogance falters at the mention of Cregan, at the mention that he’s on his way to fight for his Queen after he said he couldn’t march so soon himself.
He’s actually coming down and that thought excites you more than it should. It makes your heart swoon more than it should. Yet you don’t display the smile that threatens to spread on your lips, you don’t let your heart show your pride or joy through your eyes, you remain nonchalant and ignore the attentive eyes of Lord Larys as he tries to catch any reaction, but you don’t give him the satisfaction.
“A measly army of old men that will be brought down quickly,” Aemond brushes Lord Larys off, but that's what the Lord expected, he just wanted to see how you would react, but you don’t fall for his trap.
“Now, I see we’re all agreed,” Aemond brings an end to the meeting after a moment's silence whilst he returns to his seat across from you.
“Your Grace,” Ser Criston says after he stands up.
The other bodies around the table don’t linger behind, they rise from their seats and walk out, you do the same but rather than walking out right away, you make yourself around the table to press a kiss on Aemond’s cheek that he welcomes by leaning over to meet your lips.
“My love,” you offer him sweet words before stepping back to walk around his seat with your fingers brushing over his shoulders.
Before you can lose touch, he captures your hand and brings you to a stop.
“Mother…a word,” he calls out before Alicent can leave the perimeters, all while he never once breaks your connection, and sparks this quick-growing tension that makes your heart begin to race with excitement.
“You,” he directs at you. “Eat. Don’t think you went unnoticed when we broke fast.”
You sigh. “I have found it more difficult this morning, they did not like what I ate,” you refer to the twins inside you. “Even now the thought of any food makes me want to vomit.”
Aemond hums and lets your hand go to caress your belly. “I’ll talk to the maester. You talk to Vanessa, have her make you some tea.”
You offer him a soft smile and give his mind some peace by nodding in agreement.
Aemond caresses your belly one more time with a faint smile before he grabs your hand and sends you off with a kiss on your knuckles.
As you walk away you don’t leave in silence, you pass Alicent and give her your last word. “Mother.”
Her eyes follow you and you can feel them on your back as you stride out with a teasing smirk because you both know that you meant that mockingly.
Now to the Godswood, where you won’t be alone, no, now rather than one guard there’s two watching over you now; Ser Jason, and Ser Cane Clegane; The Blood Hound as he’s popularly known, a thirty-something-year-old man who is rather stoic, with broad shoulders, built like an ox, and carries a deep and almost rocky voice. You are wary mostly because of your own indiscretions, but from what little time you have had with him he does look rather trustworthy.
Then again Aemond did personally inspect him and even tested his worth, so he is reliable if your life is ever threatened.
You hope you’ll have to wait and see.
Regardless, no one interrupts the peace you instantly find in the Godswood. You find comfort in the smell of the red leaves that swirl in your nose thanks to the gentle wind that howls in your ear. You feel bliss as the warm sunlight peeking through the gaps between the red leaves kisses your face. And not counting the shadows lurking in the distance, you don’t feel alone as you lose your eyes on the weeping face carved on the weirwood tree.
Eyes stare back at you, but it’s not a piercing gaze, it’s not judgmental, or heavy with intimidation, they’re gentle eyes, caring, and attentive. They admire your smile as you can’t help but think of Cregan marching down with his men to fight.
You shouldn’t be so happy, you need to knock your joy and pride down a peg or two after all, it’s unlikely you’ll see him, but you can’t help but feel…happy at the thought after you were certain that he would not dare come so soon.
And it’s not that you want to hop on your dragon and meet him halfway, no, the thought doesn’t cross your mind. You’re just happy to hear he’s coming with his army of men.
“Princess.”
And just like that your peace is broken, and by no other than Alicent who seems quite distressed when you turn to face her.
Why? What could she want?
.
.
.
.
.
A/N- Abbey by Mitski is yours and Aemond's anthem period in this story period.
Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic @lightdragonrayne @squidscottjeans @oh-you-mean-me @wallacewillow0773638 @icefrye19 @thescottpack @fiction-fanfic-reader @crazymusicgirl104 @r-3dlips @strangersunghoon @just-pure-trash @ethereal-athalia @missyviolet123 @callsignwidow @xunquish-blog @tabathastan
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bumblesimagines · 2 months
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Our Gentle Sin
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Request: Yes or No
Summary: After being left orphaned and adopted by his grandmother, Arvin finds solace in his new sister and discovers a partner in crime in the neighbor down the road.
Pronouns: He/Him/His, M!Reader
CW/TW: Mentions of parents dying, implied/mentioned abusive parents, mentions of religion , mentions of homophobia, mentions of pet/animal death
~~~
Arvin remembered the days after his parents' deaths pretty vividly, even at the young age he'd lost them. He remembered the funeral for his mother and the deathly silent ride back home where he stewed in his anger and grief; unable to brush away the fact all his father's insistent praying and the slaughter of his poor dog had been for nothing. No amount of praying or sacrifices had taken his mother's illness from him, no amount of tears shed brought his best friend back to life.
By the time he led the officer to his father's corpse by the cross out in the woods, his body and heart had grown numb.
The ride to his grandmother and uncle's home had been silent, too. He supposed there was nothing good to say to a boy who'd lost his parents back-to-back. The numbness dulled a little after reuniting with his family and his new sister; Lenora, she was called, presumably an orphan like him. Her mother had dropped her off at his grandmother's home to spend the day out with her husband and his cousin, only to never be seen alive again while her husband and the cousin virtually disappeared. Her sweet smile and glittering eyes won him over soon enough and he vowed to always protect her. 
A couple months after settling into life at his grandmother's house, she had his uncle drive them down the road and across the street to a neighbor's house where one of Lenora's friends lived for a playdate. His grandmother told him about the boy his age who she hoped he'd befriend and coaxed him into giving the boy a try while she caught up with his quiet and timid mother.
Back in Knockemstiff, Arvin had little to no friends since most of the boys always gave him a hard time for being an outsider. In Coal Creek, his grandmother assured him, things would be different. 
While his grandmother and Lenora entered the house, Arvin lingered outside, unsure of what to do with himself as he stared at the boy. (Y/N), he was called. (Y/N) stared back at him, his fingers toying with the laces of his worn shoes and chin propped up on his knee. "You're Arvin?" He finally spoke, lifting his head and squinting through the sunrays. Arvin gave a nod. "Come meet Summer." 
Arvin barely had time to question him on who exactly 'Summer' was before (Y/N) took him by the wrist and led him around the house to the open backyard. His eyes automatically locked on the shabby wooden doghouse, his heart skipping a beat and then filling with longing when a sweet-looking dog poked its head out of the doghouse at the sound of their shoes crunching the leaves scattered around. Summer trotted toward them, her tail wagging and nose pressing so hard into (Y/N)'s shirt that it left a wet imprint behind. 
"Why is she outside?" Arvin asked, his lips threatening to quiver when he pressed his hand into her soft pretty fur. He thought of his Jack and how sweet he'd been, always trailing after him like the good boy he'd been. He remembered the cold night he realized what his father had done and the hatred that'd bubbled up in him. 
"Dad says animals are dirty, and dirty things gotta be kept outside. He doesn't like her very much, I think." (Y/N) explained, rubbing his palm into Summer's head and grinning when she lapped at his chin, her tail wagging quicker than before. 
Arvin decided then and there that he disliked (Y/N)'s father, and as he later learned, the man was a drunk son of a bitch worthy of no respect. 
Time flew by quicker than Arvin expected now that he had Lenora and (Y/N) to keep him company. They were as thick as thieves, vowing to protect and defend each other no matter what. It led to many fights when other boys at school tried picking on them, and they oft' sat at the dinner table while his grandmother scolded them and Lenora tended to their injuries, but it only made them closer. Trouble makers, some called them, but it never mattered. Arvin only grew to realize his feelings had changed when he heard his grandmother teasingly say she could see Lenora and (Y/N) marrying when they got older. 
Arvin had been unable to get her words out of his head since that evening, been unable to decipher why it annoyed him as much as it did. It made sense, in a way. Two kids from the same town growing up together and eventually marrying after high school was a tale as old as time. He wondered if it was simply the idea of his little sister getting hitched or someone stealing away his only companion but only the latter bothered him more than the former. 
"You ever think of the future?" Arvin asked, leaning back against the hood of his car and staring up at the twinkling stars. The car shook lightly when (Y/N) shut the door, leaves crunching under his boots as he made his way around to stand beside him. He clamped his teeth around the cap of a beer bottle in hand, peeling it off and spitting it out onto the ground. 
"The future?" (Y/N) repeated, offering the bottle before taking the cap off his own. "You thinkin' of the future now, Arv?" 
"Grandma was fixin' up dinner with Lenora and, I dunno, she said some things that got me thinkin', I guess," Arvin explained and took a swing of his beer, craning his neck when it began to ache and gazing at his best friend. (Y/N) pressed the rim of the bottle against his bottom lip in thought, eyes staring off into the darkness of the forest around them. Arvin liked watching him. He learned all his quirks and habits that way. 
(Y/N)'s brows fixed. "What'd she say? She mention she wants you out of the house or somethin'? I bet she wants you to get yourself a real pretty wife." (Y/N) laughed, his voice teasing and light-hearted. 
It was true, he supposed. The times his grandmother would talk about his parents, she always ensured to remind him that he needed to 'find himself a good, God-fearing Christian wife who loves him as his mother loved his father.' He'd heard the romantic tale time after time; his father drove through Meade and stopped to get himself a coffee only to end up head over heels for the pretty, generous waitress. His father ignored his grandmother's desire to get him to wed another woman and ultimately won his mother over. In the end, his love for her led to his own demise. 
"She thinks you oughta marry Lenora." 
"Lenora?" (Y/N) repeated, aghast and wide-eyed. "Oh, come on, Arv. I'd never marry Lenora! She's like a sister to me, you know that." He shoved his elbow into Arvin's side and scoffed quietly, filling his mouth with beer and making the car shift when he sat back on the hood. 
"Yeah, yeah, I know." Arvin chuckled, thumb rubbing into the wet glass of his bottle. He caught (Y/N) leaning back to lay on the hood and clicked his tongue, twisting around to warn him about denting the hood only to notice the way (Y/N)'s shirt rode up and exposed the happy trail dipping beneath his jeans. The words died in his throat and he clamped his mouth shut but before he could turn away and take a swing of his beer, the moonlight shone above them and exposed the blossoming bruise peeking out from under his shirt. 
Without thinking twice, Arvin's fingers grasped the hem of his shirt and tugged it upward, ignoring the noise of complaint that escaped (Y/N) when the cold nipped at his newly exposed skin. A hefty bruise just over his rib cage, big and purple and enough to send a wave of fury over Arvin. (Y/N) shoved his hand away and sat up, pushing his shirt back down and stepping away from the car. 
"(Y/N)-"
"I don't wanna hear it." 
"I'm gonna kill him, I swear." Arvin spat, fully meaning his words. He had the means to now that his uncle had recently gifted him a gun that once belonged to his father for his birthday but he never did anything without (Y/N)'s knowledge. (Y/N) chugged the rest of the beer, regret briefly settling in when his features scrunched up before he tossed the bottle aside blindly to be forgotten in the woods. "I could, you know. Unc' got me that gun I showed ya the other day."
"It was a fight, Arv. I got some good punches in, too." (Y/N) sighed. "He was drunk and being a real piece of work over Summer. Said he wanted to sell her n' stuff like that now that she's too old to do anythin' other than sleep." 
"It'd be real easy to get rid of him." Arvin would never admit it aloud, especially around others, but he'd thought about it plenty of times before. A drunk hated by virtually everyone? No one would bat an eye. He doubted the church would even say any prayers for him. "I could do it." 
"Not worth it, Arv."
"Not worth it?" Arvin bristled, his hold on his bottle tightening and his body peeling itself away from the car. (Y/N) barely batted an eye when Arvin grabbed a fistful of his collar, and the blatant trust despite his home life made Arvin's anger simmer down a smidge. "I ain't goin' to sit around a second longer watchin' him be a piece of shit to you and your family." 
"Our sisters are graduatin' soon, remember? By the time graduation comes around mine will be hitched by that little boyfriend of hers and out the house quicker than a fish in water. Ma's never leavin' him, you and I both know that, but I will someday. You and I will do some work, get some money, and make somethin' of ourselves. I'll need you out of prison for that to work, Arv." (Y/N) pursed his lips. "You keep gettin' yourself worked up over nothin'-"
"It ain't nothin' and you know it." Arvin huffed and released his tight hold on (Y/N)'s collar, taking a quick swing of his beer in hopes it'd help calm his racing heart and heated nerves. He inhaled deeply and forced his shoulders to sag when he exhaled, his eyes darting around the darkness until he calmed down and met (Y/N)'s stare. 
"You make a better guard dog than Summer." (Y/N) teased, his smile as calming and pretty as always. 
Being raised the way he was, Arvin heard plenty of religious talk. He'd believed in God once, back when his father imprinted it in his skull that he had to pray otherwise his mother would never heal from her sickness, but any belief died with his parents. He attended church on occasion and kept his mouth mostly shut when his grandmother and sister spoke of the bible and prayer but the belief never rose to full devotion and love like the others. He'd heard plenty of what was sin and what was not; man laying with man being spoken of as if it were the worst sin of all. Arvin could care less if someone loved another of the same sex but he knew little of how (Y/N) felt on the topic. 
"Yeah," He managed out weakly, his eyes snapping upward when he realized he'd been staring. His ears warmed with embarrassment and he drank again, finishing the bottle quicker than expected. "A guard dog bites, though. You never take the damn muzzle off." 
"You ain't got no muzzle, Arv. I got you on a leash, maybe." (Y/N) laughed lightly and Arvin wondered if his mind conjured up the flirtatious tone. "I take good care of you, don't I? Here makin' sure you don't get taken away by animal control." 
"It'd be for good reason-"
"Arv," (Y/N) groaned, lightly shoving his shoulder and lolling his head to the side. "You know I'd never let 'em take you unless I'm comin' too." 
Arvin hummed softly, chewing on the inside of his cheek 'cause despite his desire to get rid of such a filthy stain, where else would he find loyalty as strong as his if he lost him? Apart from his family, he had no one else, and he'd rather die than let anything happen to their friendship. Even if his thoughts plagued him with thoughts about how close they were or how easy it'd be to close the distance.
(Y/N) stared at him silently before exhaling heavily through his nose. "Arv," He said quietly and Arvin hummed again. "Will you keep a secret for me?" 
"'Course."
"Good." (Y/N)'s lips quirked up briefly before his warm hands landed on Arvin's cheeks and tugged him closer. 
Arvin immediately stiffened when they kissed, eyes widening with rigid shock that made him freeze up but his hands flew into action when he felt (Y/N) begin to pull away from him. His hands grabbed onto him, fingers hooking in the belt loops of his jeans and pressing him as closely as possible. Arvin closed the small distance with a kiss rougher than the first, too eager to ensure (Y/N) knew he felt the same but (Y/N) only chuckled and returned the affection just as roughly. 
"You ain't ever leavin' me, right, Arv?" (Y/N) asked breathlessly against his lips.
"Never."
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animeshotsh · 7 months
Text
Baby baby~ | Original Sins x Kid!Reader + Stolas x Kid!Reader + Octavia x Kid!Reader |
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Summary: Lucifer finally gets his close friends to meet you!! Warnings: no one, just FLUFF.
Lucifer wanted you to meet his closest friends and sins, he had planned this day for so long. He invited Charlie and Vaggie of course, but kept Alastor away.
"Only if i get to take (Y/N) out for the next two days"
And he had accepted, wanting nothing more but to kill the sinner.
~☆~☆~☆
The castle was decorated, Lucifer and the rest of you wearing their best clothes. Food was served, drinks were out (no alcohol allowed) and you guiding Charlie to your room to show her your drawings.
"They are amazing (Y/N) but the rest will soon come-"
Charlie could not end her talk as a very distinct voice claimed from other room.
"Now were its your sweet new kid! Im dying to meet them" The big form of Asmodeus said the three faces looking around for you.
The left one noticed you in the corner by the hand of Charlie.
"Oh!! There they are, (Y/N) come and say Hello to Lust!!" Lucifer called you missing your scared look as you slowly approached the big Sin.
Asmodeus went down on his knee bowing to you "Its a pleassure to meet one of our King's kid, im Asmodeus, you must be (Y/N)"
You nodded looking at his 3 faces and soon smiling at them "You got 3 faces!! And you are so tall, can i get that tall too?"
Asmodeus looked over Lucifer asking for permission, once Lucifer noded Asmodeus took you and let you sit on his shoulder.
"This is great!!" You exclaimed
~☆~☆~☆~
After some more minutes you were left down on the floor when a portal opened, a tall owl dressing in a fashion way appear, behind him a smaller one. Stolas soon saw you and (wanting to show off) opened his book, dark sky appear on the ceiling, different constellations left the sky and went towards you, twirling you around and making you laught.
"Oh Stolas its so good to meet you again my friend!!" Lucifer exclaimed quickly going to shake Stolas hand. "Its has been eones indeed" Stolas agreed looking as you played with the constellation of a horse.
"And Octavia! You have grow so much, I remember when you were so tiny" Lucifer added making Octavia blush and nod at the king who then pointed at Charlie and Vaggie who went to his side. "Im not sure if you remember my daughter, but this is Charlie! and her gilrfriend Vaggie".
Charlie gave a kind smile to the goetia bowing respectfully as well towards her and Stolas "Im so glad to be meeting you again"
Soon you came to them, the horse constellation following you. You stood suprised at the tall owl who got down on his knee as well "And this must be the precious (Y/N), you father never stops talking about you" Stolas said then softly pushed Octavia "This is my daughter Octavia"
You took notice of Octavia being a bit uncomfortable under the attention "Hello! im so happy to meet more friends, i like your clothes! Dad can i get dark clothes too?" you asked to quickly switch the attention to him.
"Of course we can, anything for my small bean" Lucifer beamed.
Octavia gave off a small smile as you smiled at her then went to ask her father about his magic.
"Oh then let me start with the basics..."
~☆~☆~☆~
After what felt like hours of stories of magic a new sound was hear.
"Oh finally, she loves making a big scene" Asmodeus said looking over the flying figure surronded by smoke.
Soon the room was being filled up with music and sweet smell. A pair of hands took you and as the smoke went off you could see what you would describe as a big yellow wolf.
"Awww look at you, you look even sweeter up close!!" Bellzebub said pushing your cheeck against hers smiling. "Lucifer, you must take good care of this one or soon they will end up dating"
"NOT ON MY WATCH" Lucifer exclaimed now having an internal crisis.
Beelzebub soon let herself on the floor with you. "Im Beelzebub, but you kind soul can call me Beel"
"You are beautiful" you could only say in response seeing her hair move around with different colors.
"Aww, and i got all of you a gift"
Soon lots of bottles with orange liquid appear.
"Dont worry this ones" she pointed towards some bottles with what it was supposed to be a demon kid "has no alcohol in it"
~☆~☆~☆~
Quick Extras:
You ended up making Octavia share her music with you and her love for taxidermy.
Mammon did come but only because Lucifer forced him, he ended up liking you as you saw him as "a big huggeable clown" and "you smell like money" you did won him over and he promised to bring you something next time.
Five seconds later tons of money appear alongside a plushie of a famous demon called "Fizzarolli".
Everyone tried to prevent you from drinking too much but you ended with too much sugar and ran for the rest of the night.
Stolas gave you a book of basic magic and told you to call him if you need help with anything.
Beel made you promise that once you get older you would go to one of her parties (how no one knows since you are a sinner but anyway).
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wangxianficrecs · 25 days
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🔒 Drag Me Into Your Coffin (I Will Drag Your Sins Into The Light) by the5leggedCricket
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🔒 Drag Me Into Your Coffin (I Will Drag Your Sins Into the Light)
by the5leggedCricket
G, 2k, Wangxian
Summary: During the events in the GuanYin Temple, Jin GuangYao tries to drag Lan XiChen into death with him. When Lan XiChen next opens his eyes, he is faced with a—very alive—Jin GuangYao in Koi Tower, and a Jin ZiXun who is trying to force alcohol down his throat. Lan XiChen has a choice: smile and comply or take a stand once and for all—while still smiling, naturally. AKA: Lan XiChen goes Off™ Kay's comments: This story was so much fun! Lan Xichen basically travelled back in time from Guanyin Temple, so he was in an emotionally fraught place and ready to Go Off™ and it was absolutely beautiful to read him shredding the Jins to pieces. Excerpt: Jin ZiXun was speaking again. “The Jin Sect and the Lan Sect have always been like one family. We’re all the same. My two Lan brothers, if you don’t drink this, you’d be looking down on me!” Lan XiChen liked to think himself mild-mannered. All his life he’d tried to live by the rules, thinking discipline and self-control would keep him from making the same mistakes his father had made. But looking at Jin GuangYao, he realized he’d been so wrong. A sudden fury overtook him. His smile, still on his face even after dying, hardened. “Are you not looking down on us?” A hush fell over the room. “You say we are like family. Yet you dare ask us to discard our principles, the very foundations of the Lan Sect, to satisfy your pride.” “Arrogance is forbidden,” WangJi helpfully added. Lan XiChen had not expected him to be sitting here at his side. The last time he had seen him, WangJi had been on the other side of the coffin, one hand reaching for him, naked desperation on his face. Now, his face was carefully neutral. He looked so much younger, happier, free of the burden of decade-long sorrow. Sorrow that Lan XiChen had helped put there. He'd made so many mistakes.
pov lan xichen, canon divergence, time travel, time travel fix-it, time travelling lan xichen, bamf lan xichen, everybody lives, good sibling lan xichen, good person lan xichen
~*~
(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)
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chamakimalo · 14 days
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Kisses and Excuses
Max Verstappen x Reader
contains: fluff, smut, gentle sex, switch!reader, switch!Max, mentions of aftercare
This is pretty much my first ever smut so please be considerate!
If you'd like to submit a request, feel free to, I'll write pretty much anything, as long as it's not uncomfortable for me and I know the character!
What is sex? Is it supposed to be gentle, easy?Rough, demanding? Should it be anything at all? And why not everything at once? Discovering our body's needs can be tricky. At first it might make one feel shameful. Is it forbidden to touch yourself in that spot that your mother would talk about only behind closed doors, in a hushed tone? Is it bad? Sinful?Perhaps. But it's definitely not for others to decide. I always wondered what sex would be for me. Would it be pleasurable? How long would it last? Will it hurt? Is it scary? Those question are mostly answered when you meet the person you want to sleep with. It depends on what their character is, on what they like. And what you like.
Sex doesn't have to be gruesome and rough. It can be, of course. There is also beauty in being ravaged. Beauty is subjective after all.And Max... Max was very beautiful to me. All of him, really. Those hands, pale and quite large. Yet their touch strangely delicate and gentle, as if he was afraid to break me. His plump lips, that reminded me of raspberries, every single time I'd glance at them, which was quite often. His eyes and the way they'd narrow, whenever he was lost in thought. His thighs, cheekbones, eyebrows, chest... And how he treated people. There was something insanely attractive about it.
How competitive he was, how he was determined to win and beat everyone else. Yet he was the first to take care of others when they needed it most. And he took care of me. Very well.
It's a quiet evening. The summer heat is slowly dying down, replaced by the cool autumn air. I'm sitting in my apartment, up to nothing, really. I always loved autumn. I could talk about it for hours. And my boyfriend would listen. I smile, thinking about him. It was surreal to me, how such a beautiful soul came to be my partner. I busy myself with baking, smiling at my own thoughts. Over the past few months, I have gotten significantly happier. I began to care more about the little things, ever since I got into a relationship. As I roll out the dough, I hear the doorbell. I quickly rinse and wipe my hands, thanking the Gods above that they weren't that immersed in the dough. I walk over to the door and open it to see Max.
I smile immediately, not expecting him. “Hi.” He says, a bright smile similar to mine present on his face. I take a step closer and hug him tightly. Physical touch was always my thing, but he welcomed it with a smile. I tried to show him affection all the time, and eventually he got used to it. It took him quite a bit, but now he immediately wrapped his hands around me as well.
“I didn't expect you.” I mutter, nuzzling my head into his chest “I would have dressed up for you. What brings you here?”
His chin is on top of my head, resting on it comfortably. He smiles at my words, gently caressing my back with his hand.
“You are gorgeous whether you dress up or not and we both know that very well” He says, his hand moving to play with my hair “As for why I'm here... I found a candle in a shop I was in and decided to use it as an excuse to see you.”
His honesty was another trait that I liked about him. I smile happily, looking up at him. “You bought me a candle?” I ask, physically not being able to stop smiling. I find the fact that he thought of me while shopping incredibly cute. He nods and shows me a pumpkin scented candle. My boyfriend is a listener. He pays attention to every word I say. How I love autumn, how I enjoy candles... “It smells beautiful” I say, still smiling “Thank you, Max. I love you so much.”
I pause, hesitating. I feel like rewarding his considerate behaviour. After all, love and affection shouldn't be one-sided.
“Do you want to...” I trail off, not confident enough to finish the sentence. Directly asking to have sex still felt weird to me. Max smiles, understanding the innuendo.
“Come on schat...” he says, with his smooth, quiet voice “Will you try to finish your sentence? I wouldn't want to assume the wrong thing” he says teasingly, though gently.
I hesitate once more, biting my lip a little, still in his arms. I look up at him with a contemplating look. He looks back at me. Patiently. Calmly. Softly. “Would you like to...” I stammer a little “...Fuck” I say quietly. It's a silly way to say such a bold sentence really. But he doesn't seem to mind, his soft smile widening at my words.
“That's a good girl.” He says, his grip on me tightening just slightly, although not in a way that would threaten me whatsoever “Yes. Yes, I would like that.”I stand on my toes and kiss him, with a hint of hesitation. He smiles against my lips and kisses me back, quickly deepening the kiss. We move further into the apartment, Max kicking the door shut while moving. I'm walking backwards, so I don't notice the couch, before I fall on it, Max on top of me.
“Max...” I whisper breathily, not taking my eyes off his.He tilts his head questioningly, a small smirk on his lips.Instead of elaborating, I kiss him again. He takes the lead of the kiss, both of us unable to pull away. Unable to stop touching eachother. His hands slip under my shirt, slowly caressing my waist, my stomach, getting me comfortable. They begin to roam higher reaching my breasts. Since I stayed home today, I don't have a bra on. He gently squeezes my chest, without breaking the kiss. I breathe in sharply, looking in his eyes. His lips curl up as he plays with my nipples. I bite my lip, holding back a moan.
He leans in, close to my ear, before whispering to me.“I want to hear you, dearest.” It's as if his words wake something up in me. I slowly slide my shirt off my body, without looking away from him and reach for his as well. He calmly lets me take it off, revealing his chest. Max leans down, beginning to place soft kisses all over my stomach and chest. I let out quiet gasps whenever he reaches a sensitive spot. Sometimes he gets rougher, leaving small marks on my skin, nibbling and sucking on it. I stop him from going further and flip us around, now sitting on top of him. I lean down and begin to place kisses on his neck, gradually deepening them and leaving hickeys. He lets out small moans, clearly enjoying the process. He doesn't mind that his girlfriend has her way with him. He doesn't mind it at all.
“That feels so good, darling” He whispers, exposing his neck to you more “But I want to focus on your pleasure tonight.” I smile, looking down at my boyfriend lovingly.“We can make it enjoyable for both of us. It shouldn't be one-sided.”
He flips me over, laying on top of me again.“Then I hope you don't mind me doing this” He whispers in my ear, beginning to unbutton my trousers. I don't take my eyes off his, letting him undress me. My hands reach his zipper as well, leaving both of us in just underwear.Both of us are aware of what is happening. Both of us crave for more. As the clothes fall to the floor, his hand reaches under my panties and his fingers slowly run over my folds. He doesn't rush. He's careful and delicate, feeling everything out.
I almost want to tell him to go faster, but before I can do so, he slides one of his fingers in me. It's not expect it, so I moan as he begins to work inside me, gradually adding more fingers. Throughout the whole process we don't break eye contact. He wants to see me, my every feeling, my every expression. He wants to hear my every pant, every breath, every moan. And I'm not holding myself back.
“You're so vocal tonight, Schat.” He says in his quiet voice “I like it.” I let out another moan. Max really had his way with hands. Always knew where to touch to make it feel good.“I can't help it when you do such things to me.” I whisper back. He smiles again, leaning closer towards my ear. “How about I do more?” He whispers, making a shiver run down my spine. Although my boyfriend was always gentle and sweet, he knew very well the effect he had on me. He wasn't ashamed of it one bit.
He smirks and removes his fingers from my clit, shifting his position, about to fill me up with something else. My eyes widen and roll a bit in pleasure as he enters inside me, with his cock. It wasn't enormous, yet it filled me good. At first he starts slow, moving his hips deliberately. He doesn't want to startle me. With time, his movements get faster, rougher. He keeps looking at me, but I'm unable to look back, as I begin to see stars. My lips are slightly open, eyes rolled back, face flushed. He found me perfect like this. I moan as I finally come and so does he. We are both a bit exhausted, so he just lays on top of me, breathing into my neck.
“That was... Something” he says eventually “Did you like it?”
“Mmm...” I nod “Can we move to bed for a bit? I want to lay down with you” I say quietly. I tend to be vulnerable after sex. Exhausted, satisfied, a combination that causes me to open up. He knew me well enough to know that. Actually, he was glad that I voiced my thoughts in situations like this. He was more than happy to provide aftercare.“Of course.” He says, looking in my eyes again.I smile broadly at his answer.“I love you. You don't even realise how much.” I whisper softly.“And I love you to the moon and back, gorgeous.”
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the-kr8tor · 2 months
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Katy…. For the 1 year anniversary
Garlic cloves and 💧
Vampire hobie and some angst
Vampire hobie and a human where other vampires find out hes in love with a human (maybe they cause him to purposely goes mad, to where he will attack and be the cause for rs death. Possibly?)
Then when he snaps out of it, he realize what hes done. To the person he fell in love with (can totally see him trying to make R into a vampire while sobbing choking out apologies while trying to get them back) 😭
I dont know i thought youd like this possibly, you have full control over the ending or how anything goes or could go. Some of its just a small ideas to give your brain maybe to help give you ideas for how you want to go. But i know you love angst and you are amazing at it
First thing i requested for your Apothecary. Do whatever you want with this idea. Just knew itd give a lot of angst potential for our favorite punk
Hehehhehe vampire! Hobie angst 👀 thank you for requesting, bestie!!
Pairing: Vampire! Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader
Word count: 1k
Tags: No use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader (except her clothing), TW death, CW blood and gore, CW violence, vampire AU, Angst.
Katy's one year celebration 🎉
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Blood coats his tongue like a thin film of gore and death. It sticks to his fangs, red dripping off his unhinged maw where his fellow immortals’ crimson flows out like your own blood spilling from the numerous bites marring your precious skin. Skin he used to hold and love, skin that is now littered with specks of rubies as if a constellation of stars has touched you in your dying breath.
He heaves in place, adrenaline coursing through his veins like the raging rapids. Sharp claws still red and dripping, rage filled eyes roaming around the violence he did not start but had to finish.
Hobie never thought that he'd be betrayed by his immortal kind that he has spent centuries with. Vampires they used to call friends, even family. He never thought that being called upon by a trusted friend would result in you lying in your own pool of blood in the same house he left you, in the same dress he last saw you in, in the same floors he danced on with you holding on to him as he glides you around the home he once built for you.
Home, it doesn't look like it now. The oak walls that you've painstakingly painted that resemble tree branches stretching across the abode like a warm embrace are now coated in every shade of red. Numerous portraits of your life with him now lay scattered by his feet, glass crunching under his footsteps like dry autumn leaves. The pretty candles that you always light on the same hour every night are nothing but wax melted upon the ashen skin of fellow vampires. His hands are coated in the same ashes, grey amidst dark red, dark red among his skin, skin that he thought he has washed away from a millennia of sin— skin that he thought was worthy of your sacred touch.
As he walks closer to your limp body, his eyes bore into the river of red left in your wake. His expression is akin to an empty, apocalyptic look— dangerous, yet, a tragedy lies underneath his wine red eyes. He's starting to hate his eyes now that you lay in a pool of the same colour. You used to tell him that his eyes were like the purest of crimson, similar to a stirling ruby no king or emperor could ever possess. With your words he vowed to keep you close to him until your skin has etched into his own, until his own ribs rip apart to embrace you and take you into his very being. Now that he gingerly holds you close to his chest, he should've done that to protect you better, now it's too late as you gasp, fending off death itself from taking your soul before you could say goodbye.
Your eyes no longer show the light he once admired, light akin to the sun that would burn and turn him into ash— but he could not stop looking at them, even if it could possibly be his demise, because it'll be worth it to feel the righteous sun kiss his skin once again.
“‘m sorry,” Hobie cried as his tears from his own blood dripped down across your cold cheeks. “I can still fix this.” With a shaky inhale, he feels mortal when your freezing hand taps his long dead heart. You don't speak nor blink at him. He wishes you could but with your life seeping out of you, it's impossible for you to do so. He feels it, how your life is being drained from the numerous bites along your body. He also wishes he doesn't feel you slip away. “Please, l–let me bring you back.”
With your last strength, you curl your lips to a soft, weak smile. Hand weakly gripping his shirt, mouth mouthing the words— “not your fault.”
Hobie chokes on a sob, shaking his head, he cannot, will not let you go. You're the only person who truly knows him, the only person who has seen the real him that he hasn't shown to anyone since he was turned. He loves you, and he'll continue to love you until his dying breath, whenever that may be. Ten years from now, twenty, a hundred— he'd love you until he steps out of the shadows and back into the light of the sun that reminds him of your eyes.
He feels your heart slow down, the blood rushing out of your veins are like drums in his ears. Opening his jaw, fangs in full show, you let out your very last mortal breath.
But he's too late, you have no blood left, drained until the last drop. No spark of life left to be brought back to earth with. Without a flicker of light, there's no embers to set fire to. Yet, he still tries in despair. Teeth sinking into you, a hungry bear to a corpse of a rabbit, he bites and sips into nothingness. Not even a glimmer, a hope lighting a fire in you brought by the kiss of death— nothing, absolutely nothing can bring you back to life. He cries, sobs wracking his body, a hurricane of emotions flooding through him that he has never felt in his immortal life until now.
Calling your name, he cradles your cold body, hand behind your head, lips upon your neck. He doesn't bite this time, he knows better. But if it does work, will you hate him for it?
The door creaks open, a familiar face he just saw a few hours ago enters the sheer violence Hobie left in his vengeance. His face contorts into sorrow but it quickly turns contorts to disappointment.
“You should've listened.” He utters, mouth dripping with venomous words. “Was she worth it? Breaking our law?”
Hobie slowly glances at the man without leaving your side. His once pure ruby eyes have turned into a flurry of bright red fury. “She was.” His claws dig into your lifeless body, lips shaking from sheer anger.
“I still cannot understand you.” He scoffs, “and you even tried to turn her. You're a fucking disgrace.”
Hobie slowly brings you back down, carefully laying you and closing your lifeless eyes. He looks at the man, someone he used to call a friend, someone he once trusted. Vampire blood and ash coats his very being, staining his soul, but they don't compare to your blood on his hands.
“Then I'll make you understand.” With a pounce, Hobie will drench his hands in more ichor until it's enough for him.
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electronix-arts · 1 month
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i have the urge to ramble so why not ramble about murder drones
i have many fears over episode 8, my biggest one being is that everyone is going to fucking die, and since im now considered the khan guy, why not talk about him (THIS IS SO LONG HOLY FUCKING SHIT)
ok so funnily enough, im prepared if he does drop dead in ep 8. people have teased me going “oh lol what if khan dies in ep 8” but little do you all know ive been prepared since ep 7 dropped, my wife has improved so much he’s bound to be sniped by liam. i’d be upset as hell and act like a wife who lost her husband at sea but i would not be too surprised if he is killed off
before it was confirmed ep 8 is the series finale, i was a s2 believer and i held onto hope that they wouldn’t kill khan because it’d make his character feel worthless. you see this man improve so much to be a better father to uzi and grow a pair to actually do something; to me, him dying would have made all of that useless, the hypothetical season 2 could have grown his character more if he lived, hell, maybe even show flashbacks of him during his ‘kill all humans’ phase. ep 7 shows khan has nowhere to go but up (or go insane, like the ep 8 teaser showed us)
but since season 2 is not real, i have to accept the fact that yeah, khan might die. so instead of being upset over that, why not speculate how he’ll fuckin die even though him being in the teaser looking batshit insane makes me think he’ll be a survivor. look at him. he will live off of pure adrenaline. anyways.
it’d 100% be a sacrifice, his apology for everything he’s done (which i fucking HATE i wanted him to grow more to become more redeemable to others not [death = hooray your sins are mostly forgiven] but i just gotta suck it up for now)
it’d definitely be for uzi or nori, make sense if he sacrificed himself for both of them [“Turns out, I’m not who either of you needed”] buuut i think it’d be more uzi focused. he was the one who raised her for the entirety of her life, actually tried to become better and changed his main focus to her and tried to help whenever he could after that, he would take a hypothetical bullet for her. it could even parallel to pilot when he left her for dead, now he’s the one dying and telling uzi to leave him so she can save herself and the others (it could even reference heartbeat where she thought he actually died, i don’t know how they’d do it, but yeah. i like that scene in heartbeat, i enjoy characters i love oh so much in severe pain.)
while i like this a lot, i would want khan to sacrifice himself for someone else more than his own wife and daughter. shocking, i know. i make my entire personality based off these idiots why wouldn’t i want a doorman family reuni-
n. if khan dies in ep 8, i want him to die sacrificing himself for n. i want n to be in horror at what has happened as khan is slowly dying in front of him, basically giving n his blessing to date uzi even though the entire planet is doomed.
it parallels nori’s disapproval of the relationship, shows that khan’s views on the dds (mainly n) have changed [killing machine -> bad influence on uzi -> someone who genuinely cares for her, someone who she needed] -and i guess nicely ties up the gift that is his redemption arc.
it makes sense for him to give said blessing, he’s seen how close uzi has gotten with n as well I’m pretty sure when he reunites with nori (plsplspls) after they calm down she’s definitely gonna be like “YOU LET OUR DAUGHTER “HANG OUT” WITH THE THINGS YOU SAW KILL ME” so that’d be fresh on his mind when he hypothetically drops dead.
also i’d feel like him sacrificing himself for uzi is like. too perfect or easily guessable, maybe they could hint “oh yeah khan’s def gonna die to save uzi & nori” when haha sike he’s dying to save the future son-in-law (if there is a future)
anyways that’s it. im bad at wrapping up things so here is what i call my conclusion. if you actually read this i love you so much you will be in my will
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thebat-musicman · 4 months
Text
The Playlist™
My 12 hour Batfam playlist (with repeating songs!)
The repeating version has 200 songs and is 12 hours. Non repeating has 167 songs and is 9 hours and 54 minutes.
I am so sorry to whatever poor souls are reading this just trying to find good songs for their faves
@batfambrainrotbeloved it’s done
The bat-playlist from hell is under the cut
Alfred
Be our guest
Let it be
Sweet caroline
You are my sunshine
God is really real
Istanbul (not Constantinople)
50 ways to say goodbye (him faking Bruce’s death when he went training)
What was I made for
No time to die
James Bond theme
I got you
Child of Mine
Little Lion man
You’ll be in my heart
Never grow up
Edelweiss
Baby mine
Friend like me
My heart will go on
Bruce
Never grow up
Everything has changed
I hate it here
I look in people’s windows
imgonnagetyouback
Karma (AJR)
Humpty Dumpty
Inertia
Two birds
Cat’s in the cradle
Song for Orphans
Tears in heaven
Heart of stone
Robin
Whatever it takes
ocean eyes
Migraine
I’ll make a man out of you
Under the Sea
Beautiful Boy (darling boy)
Babs
The story of us
Just a girl
Clara Bow
Role Models
Break my face
The DJ is crying for help
Little miss perfect
She used to be mine
Mastermind
Pretty distraction
So high school
How did it end
Fight song
You should see me in a crown
The man
Runs the world (girls)
I bet you think about me
Inertia
Ours
Part of your world
Dick
I can do it with a broken heart
Touchy feely fool
Never grow up
The Bolter
Surface Pressure
You’re on your own, kid
Because of you
Karma (AJR)
Way less sad
Perfect (simple plan)
Father of mine
This is me trying
Count on me
The Greatest Show
No way
Mr. Perfectly fine
Dancing Queen
Show and Tell
How far I’ll go
Used to be young
Cass
Who’s afraid of little old me
Cassandra
The Albatross
Father of mine
You’re on your own, kid
Heart of stone
Fight song
Everybody wants to rule the world
She used to be mine
Family Line
Because of you
Roar
You should see me in a crown
I won’t
When will my life begin
The prophecy
I hate it here
Speechless
I’ve got a dream
Blackbird
Jason
The Prophecy
Mr. Perfectly fine
Better than Revenge
I did something bad
My tears ricochet
Vigilante shit
You’re gonna go far, kid
Time of dying
Deja vu
good 4 u
Because of you
Father of mine
These boots were made for walking
Fuck you
One way or another
Bang! Pow! Boom!
Be prepared
One jump ahead
Vampire
I think I’m gonna like it here (baby jason needs a song)
Steph
Record Player
Turning out Pt. II
The Dumb Song
Just a girl
Cardigan
The Man
But daddy I love him
the manuscript
Guilty as Sin?
Father of mine
Dead!
Teenagers
You’re on your own, kid
Mr. Perfectly Fine
High school sweethearts
Drama Club
My Play
Devil Town
This is love (air traffic controller)
I won’t say (I’m in love)
Tim
Ur gonna wish u believed me
Yes I’m a mess
Karma (AJR)
Mastermind
Don’t blame me
Fool
Wow, I’m not crazy
Humpty Dumpty
Good 4 u
Pretender (Acoustic)
Mister Cellophane
Come hang out
Let the games begin
Heart of stone
brutal
Deja vu
Every breath you take
The sound of silence
Go the distance
Viva La Vida
Duke
Here comes the sun
Walking on sunshine
I see the light
How do I say goodbye
The Prophecy
Turning out
Sunshine lollipops and rainbows
Teenagers
Our song
Demons
I’m still standing
Waiting on a miracle
I’m not famous
Paper rings
We didn’t start the fire
Everybody dies
What was I made for
I’ll follow the sun
Sunflower
Into the Unknown
Damian
Insane
Oh no!
Surface Pressure
Control
The good part
Role models
Mother knows best
Bad guy
What else can I do
Devil Town
Bones
Rät
Maniac
Losing my religion
(Don’t fear) The Reaper
Heathens
Pumped up kicks
Go the distance
A whole new world
I just can’t wait to be king
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adobe-outdesign · 1 year
Text
a while back I mentioned The Muppets Sex and Violence pilot and seeing as most people haven't seen it I wanted to bullet point out some of the insanity in it for everyone
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This was the second pilot produced, with The Muppets Valentine Show being the first
The entire thing USED to be freely available on YouTube but Disney decided a pilot from 1975 that you can't watch on Disney+ anyway was losing them money so I had to cobble these notes together via memory and YouTube clips
The setup is a bit different from the actual show. There's no guest star (this idea was instead used for the aforementioned first pilot), there's very little backstage story and more focus on unconnected skits
There's no background music throughout most of it and pacing is sluggish at best, leaving periods of silence behind. about halfway through you WILL start to wonder if you're in Muppet Purgatory
Instead of Kermit the host is a guy named Nigel. I'll probably make a separate post on him later but for right now all you need to know is that he has the personality of wet cardboard and looks like he wants to lie down and take a nap 24/7 which like. same
For some reason the main three characters are Nigel, Sam the Eagle, and Floyd(???). Kermit shows up for like 30 seconds
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Crazy Harry is in. the ceiling??
Animal is there but he's literally so feral he's kept locked in a dungeon that they have in the conference room (as you do)
Janice has a line and sounds absolutely nothing like herself (as Fran Brill is her performer here instead of Richard Hunt)
There's a wiseman in the backstage area and nothing about him is ever explained. they're just like "oh and that's our wiseman"
The seven deadly sins are there. that sounds like a joke but it's not
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Their version of Lust is a Muppet made entirely of tongues that flirts with the female secretary then proceeds to say "love you, sweetheart" to Nigel after giving him a full-body look-over. To date this is unironically the best depiction of Lust I have ever seen
Actually a few of the sins have cool abstract designs. for example, Vanity is a literal vanity desk and Avarice is a cash register
Their proposal for an eight deadly sin is "wearing funny pants to a funeral"
at least one of the female Muppets that Kermit briefly dances with looks like This
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There's a sketch just called "Aggression" that's done entirely in gibberish and about halfway through I wondered if I was having a stroke
There's also a sketch involving living pencils and puns
The Electric Mayhem perform a song and it's just straight up 90% innuendo
Statler and Waldorf have a few scenes but they're just sitting in a room instead of heckling and come across like they're Literally Dying
at one point the grandfather clock in the background stops ticking and Statler just says "either that clock is stopped or we've just died" and that's the last we see of them
The Swedish Chef segment has Chinese subtitles under it and honestly that kind of makes it funnier
also at the end of the segment the Chef takes out a blunderbuss and shoots a sandwich with it
During the credits the camera pulls back to reveal all the Muppet performs running around. Disney would NEVER
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Sloth shows up fifteen minutes late with Starbucks
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ms-fade · 1 year
Text
Only his.
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Yandere Older!brotherKaz brekker X Sister reader. +18
Dead dove do not eat! PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS! Because this is really filthy- My house of the dragon fics are making me do this.
Warning: Innocent advantage, sibling-cest, dom/sub-con, fingering, chocking, possessive, yandere tendencies, a bit forced but nothing to bad. Spelling mistakes, this being rushed.
Proclaimer: This is the longest smut I have on here, and it’s also my worst one yet. Sorry that I sinned this much.
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There was one person in all of ketterdam who was untouchable, no matter how close they tried to get they would be dead before they could get to her. Kaz Brekker’s sister, just knowing who she was put a price on your head. She was hidden somewhere, no one really knows where and it didn’t matter how hard anyone looked. She was nowhere to be found. She was his everything and all he had left of family, after his mother dying in childbirth with her, then to his father and then his older brother.
She held the most dangerous man in the palm of her hand.
This was your life, anything you wanted all you had to do was asked. A lovely house far in the fields, a beautiful view of the sky but you could never leave. Men and woman guarded every inch of the place to insure your safety, you even had your own cook. Many dresses that fit you just right, and fine like royalty filled up a room just for you. The way you live, it was like you were a princess. Protected but had everything you wanted, expect freedom.
But this was for the best. He kept you locked up for your own safety. He was your older brother and that was his job and you loved him for it. He’d visit as much as he could a week and always brought something new for you. He’d sleep in the room next to you, or you’d crawl into bed with him at night to get close. He didn’t care about touch when it came to you, his demons didn’t push you away but they demanded more.
You didn’t know much from being sheltered for most of your life, only what he said. Being away from the real world made you innocent and naive. You didn’t know about sex or anything of the sort. That was until Nina found out when she visited, “You shelter little bird.” She took ahold of your arm and smirked. “I will get you some books, but this is our secret okay?” You smiled as she held out her pinky. She was your favorite, she understood you and was just so sweet to you.
A week later she gave you two books, only two to start you off with so you could ease in to it. The words, the actions made you confused at first. But it was what the called love, what a man and woman are supposed to do when the love each other. You learn so much about the human body. Like what’s in between a man’s legs or a woman’s that was different from each other.
Each time you would get to the spicy bits your core would heat up, your body felt warm. Your body was begging to be touched but you didn’t know what to do. It was making you frustrated, you needed to have a release. Each night when you’d go to bed you’d dream of what the books said. A man overtop of you and kissing your skin, the moans on your lips.
Kaz started to notice your mood drip down at times. “Sweetheart.” He’d call you when you stared off into space. You’d blush each time, “Hmm?” Your sweet eyes looked at him. “Are you alright?” Each time you’d nod and smile at him, then return to your bouncy self. Each time he got closer to the truth.
It was late in the night and you were supposed to be asleep, kaz had to finish his work in the office there. He was planning another heist, one that would pay a shiny penny. The door creaked open and you stood there, heavy eyes and messy hair. His eyes took you in and his body tensed up, the silk dress sticking to your skin. He saw your breasts and the hardened nipples showing from underneath. Your hips and body are almost on display, at just a thin layer to separate your naked skin from him.
“Y/n, you should be asleep.” You whined at his words and walked closer to him, his mind going crazy at the pout on your lips. You shuffled across the wooden floor to him, “I couldn’t sleep.” He smiled and opened his arms to you and patted his lap. “Come sit, I know you fall asleep with you touch me.” You flashed him a smile and hopped up into his lap. You wrapped your legs around him and made sure not to hurt him.
“Thank you.” You giggled and kissed his cheek and the skin burned underneath your lips. His breath hitched and his head only thinking of all the things he could do to you. He saw the dress ride up your thighs and stretched, your underwear was on his pants and he could see the little white cloth. But he had to hold himself back and take a deep breath that only smelled of your scent, almost pushing himself over the edge.
At this moment your body was complete on fire and you could fell the wetness in your underwear and on your pussy lips. You thought with him it would cool you down but it only made it worse. His body was just making you drool. The passed few nights it wasn’t just some random guy you saw in a dream, it was him touching you.
“Kaz.” You whispered into his neck where you rested your head. You heard him answer in a hum. Your face burnt up in embarrassment and frustration at the question you were going to ask. “Never mind.” You shook your head and tried to forget about it. Kaz didn’t like when you kept things to yourself, he needed to know everything about you.
So his hands found your hips and pulled you back so you leaned up on his lap, your body pressing just right down onto him. “Speak your mind.” His voice deepens and his hands tighten against the skin of your hips. You swallowed and turned your head to the side, he watched the redness brighten up on your cheeks. Your hair fell in front of your face and tried to hide you. This amused him, he liked when you blushed and got shy.
“Come on, be a good girl and tell me.” He knew just how much you liked when he praised you and used that voice with you. He learned you’d listen to anything he would say if he talked down to you. You huffed and crossed your arms, “You love me right?” He almost laughed at your ridiculous question and wondered how the hell you could ever asked him that.
But he stopped the laugh in his chest but he did smile, “More then anything, you now that.” You nodded. “I love you too. You’re all I have kaz.” You placed your hands on his chest. He watched you face him and your eyebrows frown, with beaming eyes that stared at him. “Then why do you never touch me?” He froze up and his eyes went wide.
How could even know those words- No, you didn’t mean anything sinful by it.
“I touch you all the time.” He answered. “Not like that.” he raised a brow as you took his hand into yours. “You never touch me here.” You place his hands on your chest and he felt the soft skin underneath. He couldn’t stop the groan coming from his lips at your warmth, “And how do you know i should?” Kaz couldn’t stop himself from moving his hands across your breast and gave it a soft message.
“It’s when people love each other, more then anything and want the other- Do you not love me enough?” Your voice sadden and tears started to collect in your eyes. He shh’d you and leaned up closer, “You’re the only thing I love in this world.” You sniffed and smiled a bit. “I just didn’t know if you were ready for me,” his face got closer to yours and his eyes glanced down to your lips and back up to your eyes. “Do you want me to touch you?”
Kaz heard you take a breath and your body twitch a bit. “Please.” You whispered a beg and that’s all it took as he crashed his lips onto yours for the first time. All this time of yarning for you, your body and soul was finally here. But this was the part where he lost all control for what he once worried about and now all he wanted to do was please you.
As his lips moved against yours his hands went down to your dress and put them inside. He felt your skin that was hot under his fingertips, you’d gasp a bit in his mouth. He realized he couldn’t feel around your body because of the fabric so he pulled back. “Get up.” He demanded and pushed you back softly off his lap. “Take it off and get on the desk.”
You obeyed his commands and lifted your dress up and over your head, it finding its way to the floor. His eyes glued to your naked body as saw it up close, not covered in water and soup or by a towel. You sat back on the table and he watched your chest bounce as your moved, his cock fully hardened. You saw his hunger gaze and being finally naked made you want to hide but you didn’t.
“You’re breathtaking.” He complimented you and got out of his seat. You blushed and smiled at his praise. He got in between your legs and his hands found their way up to your nipples again. “I want you to hold nothing back.” As soon as he said that his fingers pitched the sensitive skin of your nipples. You gasped and your back arched at the new feeling and the pain.
“I’ve dreamed of this, to feel and hear you.” He leaned down and groaned in your ear, his hands still working on your chest. “Do you know how much I had to hold back?” He sounded rough and desperate. His lips kisses your neck and you moaned and titled your head to the side for him to have more room. “Fuck.” He growls and sinks his teeth in your skin.
You squealed at the pain and your pussy clinched at the feeling. “Kaz.” You called his name and he smirked. “That’s right, I’m the on making you feel good.” He pulled his hands back and yanked your hips forward to the edge of the desk. His fingers tugged the cloth of your underwear down and down to fall on your ankles.
You gasped at being fully on displayed for him, he could see your puffy pussy. “Look at you,” he teased as he stared at you, “So pretty.” You looked away from him and leaned onto your hands. “You’re just saying that.” You felt a bit self conscious because you had no idea what you were supposed to look like.
“Don’t say that, never say that again. I’m your elder brother and I’ll never lie to you.” He expressed and you felt at ease. He pushed your thighs apart to get a better view at your cunt, the glossy sopping hole. “You know what I’m going to do with my hands?” He asked, if you knew you could touch each other then he needed to know everything you did.
You nodded, “I want them in me, I want to learn the feeling.” As if he couldn’t get any more turned on his cock throbbed at your tone, soft and needy. “It might hurt for the first, but you’ll be crying in pleasure when I’m done.” His hand moved up to your mouth and he shoved his fingers in. You chocked a bit and gasp, he didn’t really give you a warning. But you had read about this, you were supposed to suck them. So you moved your tongue across his fingers and closed your mouth to get it coated with your spit.
Kaz watched you closely and he thought about how good it would feel to have your mouth wrapped around his cock. But he’d have to wait for that because tonight was about you. He pulled his hand away from your mouth and placed it in between your thighs. His fingers dragged through your slit and clit, you moaned at the sweet felling. He likes your reactions so far but he couldn’t wait to see you cry from just his fingers, he needed to hear you scream for him.
So he took one finger and pressed it at your entrance and slowly pushed it in, and because you were already aroused it slipped in easily. You moan and lean back slight to part your legs, it hurt for a minute but he didn’t care. Half of him liked to see you in pain. He started to move his finger in and out at a slow pace and enjoyed to watch it. “Kaz.” You whimpered at the feeling, it was so good. You wanted more, you needed more of him.
He looked up at you and started to thrust his finger in faster and it was too much for you and you screamed out. Rough and fast his fingers moved within you, you twitched up at the overwhelming speed. You tried to grab his wrist put he just slapped you away, he was having to much fun. You closed your eyes and moaned out, small tears came out the corner of your eyes.
“You can’t even take what you asked for,” he taunted and laughed, “is it too much for you?” His voice wasn’t sweet and caring, it was teasing and amused. You couldn’t speak so you just nodded your head, your pussy squealing at the fast movements. “To fucking bad.” You whined and cried.
Kaz shifted his weight and pushed his fingers in so far to get farther within you and curled just right. “Fuck.” You cried out and arched up. Kaz looked at you and glared at the word, you were forbidden to use such filthy words. He precious girl.
His other hand reached up and grabbed your throat into his grasp and squeezed the sides and took ahold of you. Your eyes shot opened, you felt panic and shocked. “Did I tell you to use such words?” You head shook as much as he let you. Your voice didn’t get passed his grip. “That’s the only pass I give you, or I will make it so you can’t walk.” He forced your head closer to him as his gaze darkened.
“Do you understand?” You wanted to whimper and get away from him, he’d never be so rough with you. But for some reason it was intoxicated how he controlled you. When you nodded your head yes and he let you go, and you gasped for air to refill your lungs. You didn’t get a break as he pulled his fingers out of your pussy and yanked you off the desk.
You wanted to question his actions but you saw him fiddling with his belt and you understood what he was doing. You started to get excited at the thought of seeing his cock, something you had only pictured before. “You look desperate.” He teased and made you roll your eye, which he caught.
He spin you around and slammed you onto the desk, your ass up in the air and bend for him. “You must really like to test me,” his nails dug into the soft skin on your ass and it made you cry out. It made you shake underneath his touch. “I was going to be easy, but maybe you need a reminder to follow the rules.” You wanted to fight back but you knew he didn’t like back talking so you sat still.
You felt something pressed against your pussy and you felt your stomach turn, it was his cock. “You want to be a good girl for me?” He asked and your heart screamed, it was all you ever did. Kaz taught you that you needed to be good for him, like it was your life purpose. You never had another choice. “Yes. Please, I’ll be good.” You howled with a desperate voice.
Kaz took his hands stretched you part and pushed his cock head through your walls, slowly going in. It took a minute for you to take him and get passed the tip. You’d never been so full before and it hurt, so you gripped the table at the pain. “Kaz” you whispered a plead but he just kept going in and you cried at the pain. You were thankful that you were so wet that it helped him inside.
Kaz thrusts up and bottoms out within you and your voice filled up the room along with a groan from him. Kaz pulled out of you and slammed back into you before you had gotten used to his size. You sobbed and hit your head on the wooden table and your legs moved a bit. “You’re going to take what I give you.” He started to move and didn’t care if you were ready or not, you’d get used to it soon.
It only took a few thrusts before you were sobbing in pleasure and you started to try and move back for more. Your pussy leaked onto your own thighs and onto his cock, it making your ass sticky. Your stomach curled up at the feeling but the way he sounded made it more pleasurable.
Kaz couldn’t handle the feeling of your little hole finally around him, that he already felt like filling you up. He was addicted to the feel before he could even fuck you and now he’d at least fuck you once a week. “That’s a good girl,” he brought his hand and slapped your cheek with a hard blow. You jumped a bit at the surprise and clinched around him, “Take me so fucking well.”
He growled and his hips went faster and his cock hit your insides. “Kaz.” You whined at the feeling growing in your stomach and you tried to suck him in. Kaz couldn’t bare the feeling of you clinching around him so he went faster and harder to get you to cum faster. “Cum- Oh, shit. You better fucking come.”
You voice got higher and your eyes rolled back as you began to see stars and with a few more thrust your mind went black and a wave flashed through your body. Your legs wobbled and your cunt pulsed around him and he felt your cum leak onto him and that pushed him over the edge. You felt his hot cum shot inside of you and it made you feel fuzzy. Your body shook with the feeling of your release and being filled up.
He groaned and stop his movements and let every bit of his cum leak into you. He breathed hard and didn’t pull out out of you for a minute and rested. That aloud you to have a breath and your eyes become heavy and your body got tired.
“I’m sorry,” he said and then grabbed a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back, your body was pulled up and your back hit his chest. “But I can’t stop here.” His hips slapped up again and your body began to shake and your mind went blank again. “To much- need to rest.” You begged him. But he wrapped his arms around your arms and over you.
“You’ll rest when I’m done.” you couldn’t do anything but cry in pleasure as he continued to fuck up into you. It was just too much and you were so sensitive at just coming and it being yours first real time. “Just take it.” He kissed behind your ear.
“Such a good girl.” It wasn’t until he pumped you full three times and you collapsed in his arms that he stopped. No matter how much you begged at overstimulation, or how many times you came around him. He fucked you full until you could stand.
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