#lost my best friend

[chaneda]

05/15/2024

May of 2019. Five years ago. I developed a low-key breathing issue after two weeks of coughing fits and flu-like symptoms. I knew at the time that it was not good. Doctors at the time not could find anything wrong with my lungs, throat, nasal passages, etcetera. Only years later did I come to find that my sleep apnea triggered at that time. I now have treatment but in 2019 I was none the wiser.

Being sleep and air deprived my mental faculties and emotional cognition changed for the worse. I was very much attached to my best friend, a member of this tickle community, with whom I had formed the strongest of friendship bonds. We had begun talking years prior and by 2019 she and I were living together while she finished off her time in the Disney College Program. My time hanging out with her was the happiest I had even been in my life.

I can recall very clearly the day things turned South. We went to LegoLand to check it out and have fun. My coughing fit began that day and with it my breathing issues. My mood turned sour very quickly, my depression strengthening with each day. Her time in the college program was due to end at the end of the Summer at which point she was to return home to her family. I knew I was going to be sad but she and I were siblings in the manner in which our friendship was defined. I was a source of safety, fun, peace, and openness for her to be her best and her true self. And that sadly disappeared after that day at LegoLand.

My lack of oxygen strengthened and fed my anxiety and depression. The medication I was taking was never going to be enough to deal with the thoughts and feelings swirling through my head, but I didn’t know that at the time. I clearly remember my sadness being never ending. My little sis was a major empath, and could feel my sadness and anxiety. It became too much. Instead of just enjoying our remaining time together my emotional state became toxic, making her feel cloudy and sad herself while around me. I was poisoning our relationship. I was toxic.

She left early to finish her time in Orlando at another friend’s house. I can remember the last hug we had, which she only gave me because I asked for one, tears in my eyes and thoughts of how I ruined everything in my mind. I had pushed her away accidentally. I had ruined what was supposed to be the best and strongest friendship of my life. Her driving away has turned out to be the last time I have ever seen her.

I miss her. I miss her every day. It has been five years and I still miss her. The hole she left, a hole I created, will likely never fully close or heal.

My advice is to never let any potential medical condition, whether physical or mental, go unchecked. Take the time to talk to a medical professional and/or a therapist the moment something is off or feels wrong. Don’t become me and lose the brightest little star you’ve ever met because you didn’t treat the symptoms on time and became poisonous to those you truly love.

You owe it to yourself and everyone around me.

[yelenadelova]

my dog passed away last night. my heart is broken. i’m probably not going to be on here for a while (or maybe i will be for distraction i don’t know) but i wanted to share some pictures because he was the cutest boy and everyone deserves to see him

[littlegirlandunperfect]

„I gotta hand it to you,

You played the victim all too well.

It's hard to know you're lying,

When you're lying to yourself.“

-Jamie Miller

[invader-kitty]

my best friend just died today...

here today gone tomorrow .

[pinkofujos]

I don't know what I'm expecting here but this platform is the furthest removed from real people in my real life so here goes...

How the hell do you get over losing your best friend?

Like.

Who the hell do I tell? Who's shoulder am I supposed to cry on now?

I want to call her and tell her that this is fucked up. I need her advice. I need her to tell me it's going to be alright.

But she won't. Because she's that.

How the hell is that supposed to work?

I'm so lost and feel so alone without her...

[strawlessandbraless]

Dean in Denial - The Fall ‘24 collection

7x02//11x23//12x11//12x11//15x09

[frenchublog]

spuffy

[brocedestruther]

was it casual when i invited you to monaco and we dreamed of our future together in formula 1? was it casual when we wrestled one another in our hotel rooms and threw out the beds out the windows? was it casual when you learned unicycling in two days so we could bike together? was it casual when we turned everything into competition, eating two to three whole pizza boxes for fun like it was cool? was it casual when you hugged me so hard and jumped in joy when i got my first podium? was it casual when i held you in the cooldown room and congratulated you for your wdc win despite the fact that it could have been my win? was it casual when i loved you and held you despite telling the world we were not friends, that we didn’t even know each other? was it casual when you compared our rivalry to that of a toxic relationship? was it casual when you talked about other women and sex instead when you were asked about our past together? was it casual when we knew each other so well people have described us as everything but lovers? was it casual when you said you were a better teammate than you were back when we raced against each other, in 2016? was it casual when

[ariescults]

DINO in SPELL (OFFIAL MV)

[doccywhomst]

died 2013 born 1999 welcome back eighth dr who

[snarkspawn]

I randomly did this as a bunch of quick warmup sketches over the weekend, and I was going to do nash as well only to run out of steam two doodles in lmao

but I need you to look at twin tails and short haired nash anyway asjkls

[f1shart]

*clawing my way out of a deep dank pit or something* erm hai guys..College gays1!! 💗

ive been playing a little early strangetown and starting thinking up college hcs for these gyals theyre still kids in my game.. whatever. im the planner

★ rambling below ★

ok first, ages since theyre all fucked up in game: Instead of the twins being older than all of glarn's kids, they're only a year older than lazlo which Yeah would mean glarn got mpregnant and disappeared from the house for some months to hide it (idiot), dropped the twins at his lovelorn ex-wife's house, and returned home to his "normal" kids. They'd otherwise be in their mid-late 40s living with these recently graduated young women and like for what 😭 As of 2004 they are 26, erin is 24, and kristen is 23. she skipped a grade so she was a college freshman at the same time as eri ^_^

but anyway this drawing is set in 1998 HERE ARE THEIR MAJORS: Lola in poli-sci, Chloe in philosophy (she never fucking chose), Erin in psychology, and Kristen in public health but in-game it would be biology stop i wanted them all to begin with P beacuse. silly. kristen's mom, being an older and more traditional parent, wanted her to pursue a career in medicine but after her death kristen got the courage to choose the major she wanted, which was <whatever major gives you a boost in athletic LOL i havent checked>

gah i didn't mention but college is where the 4 of them met :3 I'm thinking of placing them in this university because i want it to be pretty far from strangetown hence the Actual Grass, plus kristen isnt actually from there so mission u may be closer to her hometown? maybe? Post-graduation they all get a house together because of their money situation even though chloe is a bitch to kris and erin 😭 (kris doesnt mind though eheh... my idea is that her and chloe had a fling in college but while chloe is a romance sim and does not gaf, kristen is still a bit hung on her) (i dont necessarily ship them tho im a diehard misten/lost waters/whateverthefuck fan OK. kris is a simp for pretty femmes & i cant exactly blame her...)

I LOVE HER!!! toothy ass grin god that face is just meant to be butch i can fix you kristen loste my beloved

[lost-inanotherlife]

middle aged, gay and married. who does it like them?

MEANWHILE JACK:

[granteddrop]

And I, I thought I was a scholar Withdrawn from love Why would I even bother?

@spottedenchants

[image description in alt text]

[spacebubblehomebase]

"I promise you, my dearest brother, never again will we be lonely. Never again will we be without a home. We have each other now and I'll always be here. As you were there for me."

I am not ashamed to admit that I repeatedly daydream about how, to a much younger Tim, having a baby brother is an actual wish come true! These two would grow well in each other's care as they would be able to rely on the other, if given the chance. They'd be quite the fun team! I am also still proud of my essay about why these two birdies have so much in common and ya'll should read it. >=D (It's really old though. Somewhere in the pits of Tumblr hell, it's been cooking. Dare I even say, boiling.) They are my baby boys and these boys are brothers, your honor!

-Bubbly💙