#made progress from the initial draft but not Much

[tsukasageorge]

Fighting for my fucking life trying to design Mari magical girl outfit

[milfhunter6698]

Under pressure pt2

synopsis: Upon joining the NYC firm as a new associate, you quickly find yourself facing the pressure of working under the firm’s star senior partner, Victoria neuman. With a reputation for excellence and an eye for potential, she was searching for a junior partner who can meet her exacting standards. You, with your impressive credentials and unwavering ambition, seemed like a perfect fit…until the pressure of meeting those high expectations started taking their toll. 

Warnings: 18+ eventual smut, no use of (y/n), cursing, no describing reader’s appearance, explicit language, fluff, angst, teasing, hurt & comfort, power imbalance, slight AU, some similarities to cannon, mentions of the boys characters (Hughie), slight age gap, rival associates, young!reader, older!Victoria, slow-burn. 

notes: So.. what do we think? this is slightly proofread so sorry if there’s any errors, this is kind of a random time to post but like I said posting schedule is gonna be a bit messy, but I’ll make sure I’ll give ya’ll a heads up if I’m gonna take a week off or something like that. Now that you have two chapters only in one week so enjoy! (also so sorry guys If I didn’t respond to some of your comments I don’t know what fuck all had gotten Into my tumblr but thank you some much I love every each single one of you).

chapter 1

wc: 2.8k

It was a new day the sun rose, casting a warm glow over the city. You arrived at the office, your steps heavy with the weight of the previous night’s argument. The excitement and enthusiasm of your new role had faded, replaced by a sense of dread and fatigue. The tall office building loomed above you as you walked in.

You made your way through the bustling lobby, Suddenly, you collide with another person hurrying past. Your coffee cup tipped, spilling its contents all over your suit.

“Great,” You muttered under your breath, watching in dismay as the coffee soaked into your jacket. “The universe must really hate me right now.”

You quickly made your way to the woman’s bathroom, where you used paper towels to scrub the stain from your suit and washed your hands.

With a deep breath you stared at your reflection on the mirror fixing your hair, before heading back to your desk, hoping the day would get better.

As you settled into your cubicle, Victoria approached with a file folder in hand. A warm smile on her face, “Hey, I have a new assignment for you.”

You stood, ready to listen. “What’s the case?”

She placed the folder on the desk. “We’ve just been retained by Garnet Technologies, a major player in the tech industry. They’re being sued for breach of contract and intellectual property theft by a rival company. The stakes are high—they’re seeking damages in the millions, and the allegations could seriously damage Garnet’s reputation.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you opened the folder, scanning the details. “This looks like a complex case.”

“Exactly,” She said. “I need you to handle the initial research and help draft the response strategy. You’ll be working with Sam Reed from our litigation team, who will guide you. This is a chance to prove yourself.”

You nodded, “Understood. I’ll get started right away.”

As the day progressed, you threw yourself into the case. Spending hours poring over documents, emails, and internal memos related to the dispute. The complexities of corporate espionage and the high stakes of the lawsuit were challenging but also invigorating.

During a brief break, you ran into Hughie in the break room. He glanced at you, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “Still working on the Garnet case?”

“Yeah, just getting started,” You replied, trying to keep your tone neutral.

He leaned against the counter. “Good luck. It’s a tough one. Don’t get too comfortable. You’ll need more than just brains to crack this.”

Before you could even say anything, he grabbed his coffee and left, leaving you with a sense of unease. You can’t help but think this guy is a total weirdo..

Later in the afternoon, you met with Sam Reed, the senior litigator who would be overseeing your work on the case. He was a seasoned professional with a no-nonsense attitude. You discussed the case’s intricacies, and you took notes diligently, absorbing every detail.

As the day wound down, you stayed late again, determined to make significant progress. The office quieter, with only a few people scattered around. You continued working late into the evening, analyzing data and preparing a draft for the case strategy.

Then finally you escaped the office, the darkness of night swallowing the city. Your footsteps carried you to the subway, and as you stood there, leaning against a pillar wall, the soft green hue from the tunnel lulled you into a daze. 

Your gaze drifted to the ground, only to see a rat holding a soda can with its hands, taking a drink. You shook your head, unsure if it was real or if you were just hallucinating from the exhaustion.

In need of a distraction, you pulled out your phone, your thumb lingering on the name you hesitated before dialing. You brought the phone to your ear as the voicemail played, and you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper, "Hey, I'm really sorry about everything. Can we please talk? I missed you."

A frustrated huff escaped your lips as you slipped the phone back into your pocket, stepping onto the train ready to head back home.

A loud thud interrupted your concentration. You looked up to see Victoria standing by your desk, a thick file dropped onto the surface with a decisive motion.

“How’s the progress on the Garnet case?” She asked, her tone brisk but not unkind.

You glanced at the file, feeling the pressure of her question. “I’m making headway. I’ve been analyzing the documents and working on the draft for the response strategy.”

Victoria nodded, her gaze assessing. “Good. I expect a preliminary report by the end of the day. We have a meeting with Garnet’s CEO tomorrow, and I need to be prepared.”

Before you could respond, Victoria turned on her heel and walked away, leaving you with a stack of paperwork.

You stared at the file, feeling the weight of both the task at hand and the lingering personal issues from the other night. With a sigh, you rolled up your sleeves and began to work, trying to push aside your personal frustrations and actually focus on the demands of your job.

The Garnet case had been hanging over the firm’s head for weeks. For you, it was an overwhelming task, but with Victoria’s guidance, she had managed to stay afloat, delivering on the expectations she set.

The conference room was tense as they sat with Garnet’s legal team, the final negotiations reaching their climax. Victoria, ever composed, led the charge, while you sat beside her, following every word. When the final settlement was agreed upon, and the opposing counsel conceded, there was a collective sigh of relief from their side of the table.

As you two left the building and made your way back to the firm, Victoria turned to you, a rare smile on her lips.

“You did good today. We couldn’t have pulled that off without your work on the documentation.”

You felt a surge of pride. “Thanks, I’ve actually learned a lot from watching you.”

Victoria gave a small laugh. “Let’s hope you’ve been learning the right things.” She paused, then glanced at her watch. “What do you say we grab a drink? Celebrate a little.”

You hesitated, the exhaustion from the past few days catching up with you. But then again, it was Victoria, and this was a rare invitation. 

“Sure,” you nodded, feeling both excitement and nervousness bubble up.

Later that evening, you found yourself sitting across from Victoria at a fancy bar just around the corner from the office. It was dimly lit the atmosphere was warm and relaxed, a far cry from the intense formality of the firm.

“Here’s to kicking those bastards’ asses and walking away with another win,” she said, her voice playful but still sharp.

You clinked your glass against hers. “And to not getting fired,” you joked.

She smirked. “Not yet, at least.”

“I’ll drink to that.”

You both laughed, the tension of the day easing away with every sip. After a few drinks, You started to loosen up, the pressure of your first major case behind you. As the conversation flowed, you found yourself speaking more freely than you had intended.

“So, how are you settling in? Surviving the chaos?” Victoria asked, leaning in her seat, her eyes watching you with mild curiosity.

You shrugged, swirling the ice in your glass. “Yeah, I think I’m getting the hang of it. Still trying to balance everything, though. The job… and other things.”

Victoria raised an eyebrow. “Other things?”

You hesitated for a moment, then decided to share more. “Yeah, well like my girlfriend and I… it’s been tough with all the hours I’m putting in here.”

Victoria’s expression shifted slightly, and you saw it a flicker of something unreadable crossing her face. “Girlfriend, huh? You didn’t mention her before.”

You gave a small, awkward laugh. “Yeah, well, things have been… complicated. She’s not exactly thrilled with the late nights and the job taking over my life.”

She leaned in a little, her tone softening. “That’s a tough balance. This job—it doesn’t make things easy on relationships. Not everyone can handle it.”

You nodded, feeling the weight of her words settle in. “Yeah… it’s been hard to find the right balance.”

Your eyes met across the table. For a brief moment, neither of you said a word. There was an unspoken tension, a subtle spark that neither acknowledged, but both felt.

You cleared your throat, suddenly aware of how close you were sitting. “I guess I need to figure out what’s more important… this job or—”

“Or her?” Victoria finished the sentence for you, her tone gentle but probing.

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah. Something like that.”

There was a pause, the kind of silence that invites temptation. Victoria’s gaze lingered on you a second longer than it should have. She leaned back, breaking the moment, but the air between you felt charged, as though something unsaid had passed between you.

“I should probably call it a night,” You said, sensing the shift but not wanting to take it any further. You wasn’t about to jeopardize everything you had worked for—not on your  second week at the firm.

Victoria gave a small, knowing smile. “You’re smart, You know where your priorities lie.”

She finished her drink and stood up, gathering her things. “See you tomorrow. And don’t worry about the rest of the case—I’ve got it under control.”

Weeks blended together and you returned to work, the hum of the office and the endless paperwork becoming your new normal. You and your girlfriend had worked things out—sort of. But you both agreed to take it slow, trying to deal with the tension between your job and your relationship. Still, the strain lingered in the back of your mind.

One morning, as you were reviewing a case, your thoughts were interrupted by Victoria’s voice from across the room.

“Do you have a minute?”

Startled, you looked up to see her standing by her office door, gesturing for you to join her. You quickly gathered your things and followed her in. She closed the door behind you, motioning for you to take a seat.

“I’ve been thinking,” she began, her tone business-like but with a hint of something more personal. “We have a major charity event coming up. The firm’s sponsors are throwing a gala next week, and I think you should attend.”

You raised an eyebrow. “A gala? You mean one of those black-tie events?”

She nodded. “Exactly. It’s a big deal for this firm. We’ve got some key clients attending, and I think it would be a good opportunity for you to network. I could introduce you to some people.”

You hesitated. You weren’t really the one for flashy events, but the opportunity to meet high-profile clients could be valuable. “Are you sure I’m the right person for that? I mean, I’m still new.”

Victoria smiled, her tone softening. “You’ve already proven yourself. And besides, you’ve handled bigger things this past month—this will be easy in comparison.”

She leaned forward, her eyes catching yours. “You’ll be fine. Just think of it as another case to handle. And… you won’t be going alone. I’ll be there.”

In a flurry of movement, you stood in front of your closet, rummaging through your clothes. They flew in the air as you tossed them around, desperate to find something suitable. Your eyes met your reflection in the mirror as you slipped on a dress. You twirled, checking the fit, only to immediately change it.

Minutes ticked by as you searched for the perfect outfit. Eventually, you settled for a more casual look a black sleeveless halter waistcoat, V-neck, and front buttons. You added the final touches, an earring to complete the look, when your phone chimed on your bed.

A message from your girlfriend popped up

‘Hey, wanna come over tonight?’ 

Guilt washed over you, and you chewed on your lip. As much as you wanted to you knew you couldn't. ‘Sorry, can't. Got an event to attend. But I promise, I'll make it up to you. Wish me luck, xx.’ 

You stepped out of a sleek black car, the cool evening air brushing against your exposed skin as you gazed up at the grand hotel hosting the gala. This was the kind of event you’d only heard about—the kind where power and influence mingled effortlessly over champagne and whispered deals. 

Beside you, Victoria stepped out, her presence commanding attention clad in a gown that exuded elegance and authority, it shimmered like moonlight under the hotel's bright lights. 

The dress rode low, leaving her back exposed as it hugged her perfectly. She was absolutely breathtaking Your eyes were drawn to the elegant necklace, its chain draping over the nape of her neck, trailing down her spine. You swallowed hard, adjusting your suit.

You had a girlfriend, and you knew you shouldn't be caught in this web of temptation, but oh god Victoria made it so damn hard to look away. Pushing those thoughts aside, You brushed off any lingering feelings and followed her into the hotel.

“Ready?” she asked, casting you a glance as you both walked toward the entrance.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” you muttered, regaining composure. You felt the slight pressure in your chest, but you hid it behind a smile. This wasn’t just another networking event—this was about showing you belonged.

Inside, the ballroom was glittering with chandeliers, the sound of soft jazz filling the air. Victoria wasted no time, immediately drawing you into the circle of high-profile clients and business moguls, introducing you as if you’d been at the firm for years.

She introduced you to a silver-haired man in a tailored suit. “One of our rising stars. She’s been handling some important cases, including our recent win with Garnet.”

The man raised an impressed eyebrow. “Garnet? That’s no small feat. Impressive.”

You gave a polite smile, shaking hands and exchanging pleasantries, all while trying to ignore the subtle charge in the air whenever Victoria brushed against you. A hand lightly on your shoulder as she guided you through the room. A fleeting look that lingered a second too long. Each interaction felt like a game you weren’t consciously playing, but one that neither of you could really stop.

As you moved from one circle of clients to another, You caught snippets of Victoria’s past—her long history with the firm, how she’d risen to prominence by closing massive deals, and her reputation for being a force to be reckoned with. She carried herself with poise, yet there was something about the way she interacted with you tonight—more relaxed, almost playful.

At one point, while you were speaking to another client, she leaned in, her breath warm against your ear. “You’re doing great,” she whispered, sending a spark through you as goosebumps danced across your skin.

You managed to nod, swallowing back the sudden rush of nerves. “Thanks.”

After an hour of mingling, you found yourselves near the bar. You sipped your drink, trying to steady yourself from the undercurrent of tension between you two. You weren’t sure if you were imagining it, but you felt it—something is different tonight.

Victoria leaned against the bar, her eyes scanning the room. “You’re a natural at this, you know.”

“I’m just following your lead,” You replied, feeling the need to keep the conversation professional, though the weight of the evening pressed down on you.

She smiled, but there was something in her gaze that softened. “You’re too modest. You’ve been holding your own.”

Before you could respond, a man approached—someone new, someone you hadn’t yet met. His dark eyes flicked between Victoria and you, and the atmosphere shifted. He had the look of someone important, someone who carried a different kind of power.

“Victoria,” the man said smoothly, a knowing smile on his face. “It’s been a while.”

“Michael,” She replied, her voice cool but polite. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

The man glanced at you, sizing you up before turning back to Victoria. “And who’s this?”

She said your name, her tone firm. “She’s one of our top associates.”

You extended your hand, but Michael didn’t seem particularly interested. Okay asshole? you raised an eyebrow. He Instead, kept his focus on Victoria, his smile growing wider. 

“Well, good luck with that. But if you ever want to step away from Reed Caldwell, you know where to find me.”

There was a subtle edge to his words, and for a moment, you could sense the tension between them. This man, Michael, wasn’t just a client or rival—he was someone from Victoria’s past, and his offer was more than professional.

Victoria’s smile didn’t waver, but her eyes hardened. “I’m right where I need to be, Michael.”

The conversation ended with a curt nod, and He disappeared into the crowd, leaving you and Victoria standing by the bar.

“What was that about?” you asked, curious about the strange tension.

She sighed, her gaze distant for a moment. “Old rivalries. Michael’s been trying to poach me for years, but he’s not my concern. We have more important things to focus on.” She turned to face you, her smile returning. “Like how you’re going to handle this deposition tomorrow.”

The shift back to business was sudden, but the undercurrent between you remained. You finished your drinks, the night carrying on, but as you left the event, You couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. Not just in the way you saw Victoria, but in how she viewed you, It stirred something within you it was intriguing yet so.. 

[blacktabbygames]

shooting my shot with these questions - how far along was the development of demo fury and how much work was scrapped or reworked into adversary/tower for the release game? :0c i think it's genius vot broken got swapped over to tower's route and we got stubborn instead, but i'm also burning with curiosity wondering how broken was originally going to function with demo fury

Pretty much 0 "hard" work had been done on demo Fury before she got scrapped. We had loose concepts for how we wanted the overall progression of the game to go, but those concepts had yet to face the crucible of writing vs the pleasant air conditioned room of the imagination. As soon as we released the first demo for Slay the Princess, we spent 100% of our energy on finishing Episode 4 of Scarlet Hollow. It wasn't until January of 2023 that we started work on the rest of Slay the Princess. A lot of the earliest stages work was spent on looooong runs on the elliptical, listening to music + thinking things through. That ideation phase felt *really* stilted with the number of Princesses we had in the initial demo, especially for Princesses that had a lot of ways to unlock them, since the more ways you got to a Princess, the less it felt like her character had a real emotional core to latch onto. So, using the example of the Fury... what is she? She's someone way more powerful than you who mercilessly beats you to death. But she's ALSO someone who you fought to a fatal standstill that ended with mutual respect. And somehow at the same time she's also ALSO someone who hid a secret knife... somewhere... and killed you with it. Like, who is that? It's nobody. Not really. And while we *could* have tackled this with entirely too much variable dialogue, at that point each of those Princesses felt like entirely different people, so what if we just... made them different Princesses? That's what we did with demo 1 Fury, who became The Adversary, the Tower, AND the Razor. Likewise, Damsel -> Damsel + Prisoner and Beast -> Witch + Beast Since the original concept for "The Fury" was split into "The Adversary and "The Tower," we thought it would be fun to bring her back as the "fusion" Chapter 3 Princess that can be accessed for either of their routes. And since we got into PAX Rising shortly after making this decision, it felt like a good idea to do a full re-release of the demo. And outside of that... there's very little in the way of leftover first drafts or unused concepts, other than little figments that live in our heads. Slay the Princess had a *ridiculously fast* turnaround time (about 7 months of full time work from myself and Abby for the initial release, + ~3 months of extra full time work for the Pristine Cut.) This faster turnaround was intentional, both to minimize any drag on Scarlet Hollow's development, but also because the game itself is dreamlike by design, and free-running with ideas until they hit their logical ends felt like it worked extremely well with the story we were hoping to tell.

[playertale-au]

[NOTICE] Thank you for the 300+ followers. To celebrate, bits of PLAYER!Tale AU concept( regarding Player) is shared

Reposting because Tumblr decided to post instead of saving it in drafts when I'm not even finished. Love you tumblr!  (╯ᐛ）╯︵ ┻━┻

◇◇◇◇◇

A/N: 

Oh, wow! We actually reach 300+ (as of now 310) followers!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ 

Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart, I’m glad all of you enjoyed the story despite my art not being that good. I actually wanted to draw for 250 followers but I didn’t realised we passed that milestone. 

Anyways! To celebrate, I wanted to share some concepts regarding the Player based on my memories, though sorry if there is like a black blotched in the drawing as that is considered as spoilers.

To start off, I began creating this AU maybe 5/6 years ago, on and off, (re-writing or removing some stuff along the way) I had loads of concept art and drawings back in 2019 but sadly those old arts were, ummm, forcedly deleted after a disagreement with someone I trusted, haha. The pain for a FT user in ibis paint. ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ

Then 2023, I wanted to move forward. So I decided to give it a shot and start drawing again. I wanted to share my AU (better late than ever),＼＼\(۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶//／／ and also I thought it will help overcome my fear of drawing and start liking to draw again.

Anyway, here we have Player’s design concept (+ explanation):

Version 1:

Player actually does not inhibit Frisk’s body, as they are not trap in the game, instead, they have their own “Avatar” basing on the data and sprites of Frisk and Chara. (The situation is more towards VR? AR? I’m not sure what to call it) The Player has their memories intact.

The story is just Player goofing around in Undertale, until plot happens, but I didn’t really like the idea as I have no clue how to progress the story forward, so the whole story was re-written.

Player mostly hack codes, while Frisk has the Reset/Reload button.

Initially, their eyes didn’t change colour when using abilities. But I wanted to distinguish what and when the abilities are used.

Version 2:

This is where, I decided that the Player actually inhibits Frisk body, though they are not amnesiac. Frisk is like a ghost (narrator?) here. The image above is post-skip version to maybe 1 year trapped in Undertale. This idea was scrap and rewritten due “Chara” ‘s story and I wanted to involved Gaster in the story. (Also, because I didn’t want to draw this version hairstyle anymore, hahaha (  ≧ᗜ≦))

Player has both the hacking and reset/reload abilities.

This version of Player is more uptight and serious.

Version 3:

I think this is like 2nd or 3rd version of the finalise concept. 

Our current Player. I made the hairstyle simpler.

This Player inhibits Frisk body and is amnesiac. The personality shifted so it’s easier for the player to act consistent. This version is more carefree than ver 2, they are similar to ver 1.

First design of the Player (ver 3).

Despite being ver 3, I wanted to keep a bit of the ver 1 and 2 hairstyle but decided not to. Again, I wanted a simpler hairstyle.

This personality is just them being stress and filled with anxiety. A nervous wreck and a crybaby. Cries a lot at the first arc until they pull themselves together. But I didn’t wanna make them cry all throughout the story, if I continued to write them like that, I might ended up smacking Player myself hahaha. I ended up toning down the personality. 

Gaster would have replace Frisk as the ghost (narrator?). But I decided not doing it, because it conflict with the plot. That, and the story would be over much quicker with him around.

Side note: I had to change the relationship between Sans and the Player(hate, confuse, no interaction, chill, idk? etc), a lot of times, but in the end I decided to make him not trust the Player. 

Previously in most iteration, he just hates Player.  I planned to have him to kill the Player the first time they exited the ruins, but decided to go against it as it doesn’t really fit his style. Also, the story would go very differently if he did commit to it. Maybe one day I can make him kill them. In an alternate timeline maybe. ꉂ (´∀｀)ʱªʱªʱª

Extras: Player in different outfits (loosely)based on the other fallen humans in this AU. (+ ruin outfit)

There is a reason, why the Player had worn some of these outfits in chapter 3 and 4. 

Don’t worry, it’s not originally the clothes worn by the other children, Toriel made them. She has spares. (Sorry, to the one that find it creepy, when it was first shown, hahahaha)

And, that’s all for now I am able to share, I wanted to show more, but I’m afraid, that’s already in the spoiler territory. 

Anyways-! Thank you again for the follow, each and every one of you are the best! And I hope you enjoyed the upcoming story! 

[mirai-desu]

On the MSATD News

I didn't have time to post a knee-jerk reaction (which those of you from the Downton days know I was apt to do - thank you to all my long term mutuals of my side blog for sticking with me through those days), as I saw the news as I was getting ready to head out for work and it's been… a bit of a day.

Suffice it to say… I am devastated. And my initial reaction was (well after cursing), that it should have ended with S4, but with a different (happier) conclusion. It's called Miss Scarlet AND THE DUKE for a reason. And after all that happened in S4… it really feels like… what was it all for?? Especially if they knew WHEN FILMING THIS?? "Goodbye for now" is NOT "goodbye forever." They really, really really fumbled this.

There's a lot of theories going around, and I will admit it's too hard for me to listen to Stuart's new interview, but going off what other's have said and the parts of the transcript I did manage to read… I just cannot feel like this was actually his decision unless there's something else going on with him (either in his personal life or maybe he has some secret role he's got, because supposedly he hasn't worked since he did ADR on S4). He's been the captain of the ship, and he has always been enthusiastic with discussing the show and had just great insight into playing William. It doesn't feel like he himself was ready to move onto other things (and that's not even how it's worded - some BS about how the show needed it him to be gone for ~longevity~ of the show), like I've seen with other actors are on shows (e.g. Dan Stevens). He still promoted S3 (which came out in the UK after they filmed S4), he still even promoted S4! He was an executive producer for S4!!! Nothing makes sense!

So if it's due to RN… why keep having the other characters say William was only going to be gone a year? Why bother to have the flashback? why bother to have him stay at at Eliza's to recover?? hell I'm surprised they just didn't keep in the coma then--

But really, why even bother to have Eliza write to him? Or have Ivy say what she said to her?? The time apart was supposed to be them looking at their options. They literally foreshadowed him joining Eliza at her agency upon his return. So… what happened?

If it was actually for personal reasons that Stuart left, he has a right to his privacy. But then they should have rewritten S4 to be the end then, since they knew all this time. I can't believe we are getting the full story on this, one way or the other. The more and more I think about it... I do think it was RN's doing though.

Just two nights ago I drafted up a whole meta extolling how one of the best things this show has done has been how they developed William and how he grew as a character. The progression he made as he not only accepted Eliza having a career but encouraging her. His mentorship of Fitzroy. How he came from nothing, from a teenager living on the streets, to become an inspector at Scotland Yard. But they have chosen to toss that all out the window.

Who knows, maybe S5 ends with Eliza deciding to go to New York. But it doesn't seem like they are handling this like Babington's absence in Sanditon. They will make Eliza quickly fall for someone else, and slap fans in the face who have been following their friends to lovers slow burn for five years (because we had to wait for S2 in the first place thanks to the pandemic). And what sucks is that we still got promo saying they are in love with each other. From Stuart, from Kate, from Rachael New herself. We have still gotten promo promoting the romance. Why not have them have a big fight then or something, idk. They gave us hope. And you know what Fellowes says about false hope.

So I'm just supposed to believe that William gives up on Eliza and doesn't return…? No, I cannot. As much as we hated the deaths on DA when they wrote out actors, at least those characters still died in love with their spouses. And while I'd still be foaming at the mouth in anger if they killed him off… yeah.

William's last lines of the show is a flashback including him saying "is it all worth it?" And the answer is… no it's not.

[bentosandbox]

Lappy fancam animatic blogging/production notes

now that wolfgirlyaoi is out on global its rambling time about my powerpoint presentation

Concept

Originally I wanted to do an (Tex & Lapp) animatic with the boss theme (broken wall/Signore dei Lupi .mp3) ever since the event dropped but I thought 1) by the time I finished anything someone else would have probably already done it first (lol, lmao even) 2) I remembered the song exists and how much i looped it then while listening to the group's new album drop and thought the lyrics fit Lapp a little too well and also doesn't end abruptly like the boss theme + was shorter so yea

initial stickman storyboard where i put down the lyrics with event dialogue/happenings that i felt would fit nicely together > hastily scribble the images that form in my head

storyboards were basically what i wanted to see (same rule as my comics) lol especially if they weren't shown in the event CGs, eg. there's a CG of the truck crashing into the courtroom so I didn't do that but they didn't mention her physical acting in that scene + the song I used has a bow/salute at that exact part in their live choreo with the very similar line so I wanted to do a homage even though-

-I was like it's going to be such a pain to figure out an economical hand twirl and bow but I have to do this I need to transplant the image in my brain onto the screen because official media did not do a—

Honestly still don't know if its a common phrase and action combo because I was having so much trouble finding external references that wasn't just scrubbing the live video over and over anyway

part of the storyboards were 'recycled' from comic drafts I did (of the chocolate scene because ofc) when the event was running on CN

Originally I wanted to draw Lapp feeding Texas for The Girlyaoi Funny but I wanted to reference the plaque you get which is a Creation of Adam reference right but I also saw people saying it's referencing the scene from Silence of the Lambs lol so...peel the layers to your liking!!

(The chocolate flavour choice was from asking my Columbian friends what the worst chocolate flavour they ever tried which was white coconut)

my sorry attempt at colour keys > final spreadsheet to keep track of progress and paste all the dialogue i put in

Art Direction

A bunch of shots/colour schemes are references to Måneskin's stuff or other media tehepero I'll just put a few here

At first I was going to limit red/blue to tex/lapp respectively but since Omertosa is blue I just did away with that rule and lapp gets to have both (and more!) these two colours have pretty obvious emotional readings I think but also

red = self blue = society Siracusa or: red = yaoi & blue = yuri

for the others:

Purple = Alberto/Saluzzo, its not orange like the fruit he keeps holding because see below; I needed the colour for something else LOL Also the Saluzzos are iirc nobility or whatever and they have purple hints in their clothes so I think it was a good fit anyway

Yellow/Orange = Its supposed to be representing the last word in the story which apparently, yostar went with 'Savagery' which is Correct I guess but (laments again about how nuance is lost in localisation because imo savagery has a more derogatory kind of connotation while I think 蛮荒 in context of the story also has a 'nature/untouched by civilisation' side to it) which is why Texas setting the house on fire was not (entirely) red but orange (and it complements the blues both visually and thematically) and it's yellow at the end when they're frolicking(?) in the wilderness lol

(these colour rules don't apply to the penglog shot and technically a few frames like the shot with shocked penance, the one right after and 'im just lappy' because...i forgor my own rules lol)

The greens/teals were just a reference to the shades in the 3DPV I think

The silhouette/general style was inspired from the 3D teaser thing they had at the beginning of the 3.5 anniversary stream and the card suits that I..forgot to move to the other layers which is why only the green one had them (supposed to be 1 per set 💀)

The clash bit is basically the same as the event CG but with a flipped camera/POV sorry for world's worst screenshot lmao. Couldn't imagine the poses in my head so I ended up posing 3d models in CSP pretty good posing practice

These shots got rendered extra because..they were the first frames I started on and I was still figuring out how much to simplify lol

I also posed the chairs shot for some inexplicable reason…my file was lagging so bad

Headcanon part (kind of)

The childhood flashback scene is probably the part I took the most liberties (headcanon) on since it's not explicitly canon like the rest...the sequence/how I connected the scenes itself to fabricate a timeline of her childhood was kind of inspired by some weibo post musing about how (iirc) texas's sweet tooth maybe came from when she was being fostered at casa Saluzzo and Lapp treating her like a pet essentially and giving her a lot of treats since...you know what happened to her actual pet hehe except maybe texas offered her a stick first and then Lappy just reciprocated endlessly because its one of the few 'acts' she knew that wasn't violence haha yeah this section was basically a stealth doujin sorry

It's mentioned that she was brought up as the ideal Siracusan or whatever and she does the cute doodle in the 3DPV so I thought she probably had the Forced Music Lessons as a kid (The music sheets are Bella Ciao and of course)

The bow choreo was the one thing i really wanted to animate but the music sheet segment (based on that one split second shot above) ended up being my favourite part even though compositing the motion was a mini hell on it's own (ended up compiling a long png to scroll by with the red doodles layered over)

Other things

I will never live down my (self-imposed) shame of misspelling the title (I fixed the title on youtube but its why the ending shot in the upload says ZittE e Buoni instead of ZittI e Buoni) don't rush your fancam in 10 days 😔

I didn't look through the entirety of the EN loc but Idk why they had Lappy say 'Then go.' to Texas when it's supposed to be more like 'Let's go.' as in, 'let's go together' as opposed to 'alright off you go to the greyhall alone' lmfao also her saying goodbye forever padre when addio is right there

I don't think I'm insane enough to do another ppt soon but man this pair really makes the 'imagines a whole music video while listening to music' part of my brain go wheee like first it was Starset's Manifest then Signore de Lupi then this and while working on this one i was thinking how Måneskin's Torna A Casa would be another good track

ok ty for reading #GIRLYAOIREAL

[katyspersonal]

Okay the last post about SoTE progress for today!! (3/3)

1) So, after I defeated Romina, I of course....

came back and finally got to that bridge area that I wanted to get to!!!

Yes, I just wanted to get to that side of the map where I saw a Horned Knight that I just really wanted to murder for some reason XD However, to my surprise, I saw another Dancing Lion boss ;-; That one was a hard battle and I could not have imagined to need to do that AGAIN ;-; But my way layed through that spot, and also I am a perfectionist..

1.1) But surprisingly, at the Stage 2, it summoned several Basylisks and started to use Deathblight! That was significant for me! So yesterday I concluded that Scarlet Rot, Deathblight and Formless Blood (? is this even a correct term) all spawn flies and plants? And whereas Romina of course raised Scarlet Rot here since the buds in Rauh church she brought here were not always rotten, some Hornsent here use same flies swarms as Mohg's people! Seeing how a Dancing Lion here uses Deathblight, but no Deathroot was anywhere on its arena, I felt even more convinced that these three powers are basically Pokemon Eevelutions of the same initial concept, 'stagnation', whereas fly sickness that fell upon Hornsent is its initial unaltered form! + I guess all Hornsent in Rauh are runaways from Belurat particularly, then?

2) I finally killed that poor particular Horned Knight whom I had eyes on as soon as I saw them!!!!! They've dropped the greatsword if I remember correctly? Happy end! XDDD

3) So... Yeah, at last, finally, FINALLY I proceeded and burnt the sealing tree. I got to explore Enir-Ilim! It was already beautiful, with all the pale yellow trees. Took me some time to adjust, though, the place was tangled from the start!

4) Yeah yeah Inquisitors are female feminism wins whatever

Vfggghgjhgv unironically though, I love subversion of the trope xD

5) Something creepy/funny happened along the way though, I was laughing so hard wtfffff gfbfgcbfg

OKAY SO at some point my joy from the new location went down because my focus shifted towards the memory of the final boss, and I just remembered how much I dreaded them.. so, I broke my vow to not fuel the negativity which is already abundant and wrote a rant(ish) post about how much that decision soured otherwise amazing DLC and ranted about Radahn (disliking about his involvement, not the character jfhyggfg). And what do you think? That frankly sour post got eaten by Tumblr!

And yes, I know, Tumblr is a broken website and all that, but listen.. It never made the posts disappear for me. Ever. It could glitch out a post with bad internet and randomly publish it later as I log in, it could glitch an ask response and not have the draft saved thus losing it. It has invisible ask glitch and glitch where same post gets reblogged from 3 to 5 times. It never just made post disappear instead of being posted even with delay or giving me error message. Never. Ever. Ever. Except for now. The one time I spoke unkindly about that choice, not just "mannn weird how it wasn't foreshadowed :("

So since I am infamous amongst my friends for my super bizarre coincidences regarding fictional characters ( @heraldofcrow and @val-of-the-north witnessed so many they can swear I am cursed) me and my friend are joking that Miquella is real and he nuked the post for talking shit about his blorbo LMAOOOOOOO FFGDHTGG WTFFFFF 🤣

6) OK sorry hghgggggf Anyways, to my DELIGHT, I discovered variant of Hornsent Knights that wore smaller variant of Dancing Lions masks and use their powers like lighting and blizzard.... fun... :/

7) *points like in the meme* HEY I KNOW THIS ITEM, IT WAS SWORD OF ABUNDANCE AND DECAY REPRESENTING MALENIA AND MIQUELLA IN BETA VARIANT! XDDD

Kind of ironic how it is called 'Euphoria', because I could not be less happy about that lore being cut, all for...... *looks around in case if Miquella is somewhere in the walls*

8) There were so many nooks.. I found a secret passageway on accident, by trying to run from an old lady spamming so many spells under my feet that I was BARELY able to move! 🤦‍♂️

That eventually led me to a part of Belurat that I didn't get to explore before! Yes, the bridge above that area was where I picked Euphoria in! But below was poisonous swamp (truly a Miyazaki lol) where I got to fight a GREEN variant of Tree Spirit! It just dropped a Horn Charm that boosted poison and Rot resistance!

^ This find, though, was interesting for me, because it is a variant of a glove that was dropped by an NPC Maddening Hand earlier! That one had eyes and dealt Frenzy and specified to be weapon of Hornsent hunted by their own as heretics, but it was also forged in yearning for revenge! So, it is not even that exceptional; for Hornsent, it is a cultural thing to stitch a weapon of revenge from the skin of the victims! Kind of like giving victims a chance to strike back, albeit in death. Very poetic.

9) There was a lot of running, and a lot of getting lost. Found Spirit Ashes of Horned Knight, too (nothing new about them in description), had to use Rainbow Stones to finally stop running in circles, found Ancient Somber Smithing Stone secret via elevator (good because I ran out of them).. and THIIIIIIS:

I wondered where was the head piece of this set! Pieces of it are scattered and I found all previous three! And, again, isn't it interesting how white birds (death) are here, whereas bird variant of Horned Knights were favored 'gold' birds? Second half of Twin Bird is gold life bird guuuuuyyys-

10) Okay, eventually I've met Leda telling me to step away! I was given the choice to summon Thiollier and Ansbach, presumably because I finished their questlines, so I did! It just felt like it would be more fun.. and it WAS! Holy shit gfgggcbch I did NOT expect the ultimate NPC showdown XD And, again, Freyja and Ansbach had an actual CONVERSATION! Look, this is a breakthrough for Soulsborne games, trust me they just DON'T have characters interact "on screen"!

10.1) HOLY SHIT THOUGH DANE ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING o_o GDGTHCJBB

10.2) No, seriously, I just wanted to jump on Tumblr and post just this! The best fucking moment

11) Instant interest:

Which Outer God? Is it one we know of, or some random guy? I decided to not think about it too hard, yesterday it ended in an over 3 hours long brainstorming and my brain still short-circuits! But maybe later! ...I am sure at some point I'll find a similar pattern in the game itself and it will all click..

^ They were both picked by a respective final boss personally.. Simon+Brador to Ludwig+Laurence moment and so on

^ *points like in a meme AGAIN* Hey I read about it in a post, she killed all other Needle Knights! And by the way, I never found the seal (?) that revealed that lore! @val-of-the-north help bvbgggvh

12) Ansbach also had a dialogue after that battle to praise Thiollier's poisoning skills! That was lovely!

13) I kind of wondered though: why could not we summon Vengeance-Seeking Hornsent in this battle too, if we did his questline correctly? That would make fair 4 Miquella Simps vs 4 of "us" battle! Like, why just cast away the character to have him die as invader somewhere in Scarlet Rot place? I later realized that it would crash the "balance" of the final boss later, and I guess he was the "safest" to leave behind since he already had his goal (to see Messmer die)! Whereas other two target Miquella in particular!

13.1) This distribution is still a meme material for shitposts about characters doing competitive sport, fighting in an online game etc hfgfggbhcbx 4 vs 4

14) I actually checked and just like I thought, the last painting secret was only accessible after burning the seal!

Yeah no shit man we could tell

15) So.... yeah, finally, I've met the final boss. I never wanted to fight Radahn again; he somehow gave me problems even on Torrent with all the friends summons, and now I have to somehow dodge him in a small arena т.т Or maybe I am dumb and this is just my skill issue idk gfggjhhy

16) I actually got to the second stage first try somehow! It often happens how I play better when I still don't even know what I am doing XD And...

Okay, is this a good time to say that so far I only was spoilered some footage and lore, but not the voicelines? So.. I shared that story already some time, but a few months before the DLC, I was simply one of the people here 101% convinced about Miquella being kind and the good guy and all! I wasn't like aggressive or anything about it unlike some more avid fans (got stabbed by Bewitching Branch, did you? :p), but still also said "they should read something besides Berserk" or "people are reading into 'fearsome empyrean' line too deep". However, as DLC was approaching, at some point I had an extremely vivid dream where Miquella appeared to me, and his vibe was exactly like in the DLC in retrospective! Okay, maybe more sinister; not cold or evil, just... "forceful" in a similar way, "for my sake".

So, back then, not only that dream permanently altered my brain chemistry to accept and become open to "evil/manipulative Miquella" interpretations, but also helped me to Expect Anything which softened the blow regarding the DLC xd I had a shock moment, but far not as bad as other fans from 'this' camp! ...... so now, I found out that his voice is EXACTLY like it was in my dream 2 months ago. 🌛I really am cursed LMAOOOO WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME XDDDD

_____________

Like I said I am a dumb looser with skill issue so I've been trying to beat the boss for next 2+ hours and still didn't.. I will probably get them next time, for now I have to travel for a week and then work again т.т Watching what insane ways YouTube come up maybe will help..

I also one time got a grab attack where Radahn snatches Tarnished and says "I promise you a thousand years voyage of compassion" which got me flustered a little and already made it harder to play, but NOW that I think of it, Ranni also said "a thousand years voyage (under wisdom of stars") 🤔 So that's at least two Demigods hinting at how whatever order (or lack of) they establish won't/can't last forever, but only for 'thousand of years'! Good to know that any system, good or bad, will eventually crumble x) Gwyn: TRIGGERED

All in all, it is a very hard battle and I can't see shit in second phase, everything is too bright. But also oddly enough, I no longer dread new lore/final this much..? Meeting the final boss in person helped to finally accept actual Miquella and get over my prior mental image for good, and I am no longer hung up on Radahn involvement beyond 'some more foreshadowing needs to go in base game via patch now'. I start to wonder whether I simply got caught in the shared disappointment mood and effect of not having the full picture rather than actually dreaded thing from the start? It reminds me of that time when I was clowning agreeing that Malenia was unfair boss but only when I fought her like 70 times myself I realized I exagerrated hfhyggh Not saying Twin Dunces is a good battle, but just saying I don't dread it as much as I thought from spoiler and getting there MYSELF helped

[beauty-grace-outer-space]

Ren Faire progress is slow but steady as I stumbled through a bunch of failures before biting the bullet and deciding to tackle the very intimidating process of drafting and making my own bodice.

I had initially planned on using a pattern, but I didn't anticipate the fact that my pattern is old (as in no longer in print) and the sizing is way off. I would need to go up six sizes, and that would require an entirely different pattern.

This was pretty discouraging, but I ended up trying to draft my own pattern from a bodice I already own. It didn't go well, to say the least.

A few hours of frustrated sobbing later, I reached out to the Sewing for Ren Faires group I'm in on Facebook, and was pointed to some tutorials. One suggested covering an existing bodice with fabric, and I tried that too... but modern corset tops have a vastly different silhouette than the Tudor gown ~*vibes*~ I'm going for.

I was once again very discouraged.

Then someone pointed me to this website that allows you to input your measurements and tells you step-by-step how to draft your own bodice/corset pattern. I got some butcher paper, some duck canvas, and some Featherlite Boning in casing channels (so that I don't have to try to make/sew them myself), and set to work.

I made a basic mockup with scrap fabric to make sure I had the measurements right, and I could already tell it was miles ahead of what I'd tried to do before.

I laid out the three layers of my chosen fabric, traced out the pattern, cut them, pinned them, marked out where my boning would go, and started stitching it in.

The progress below doesn't look like much, but I am very pleased with it. I've actually sewn in three of the strips of boning, but since I'm doing everything by hand it's slow going. I'm actually starting to have hope that I may be able to finish this outfit by the end of May when I have my first Ren Faire of the season. Fingers crossed, and please send a prayer to the costume gods!

[spacey-xannabelle]

Fateful Encounter...

Last month, at around April 10th, I decided to revisit an old project I started months prior which was to polish up a test sketch of a comic page about Lucy encountering Lumi in the dreamspace. And after slowly making progress on this, I'm finally finished with this!

I'm gonna leave some artist notes under the read more, but overall I'm super proud of how this turned out!! This is pretty much my first serious attempt at making comics in general so this has been a very interesting learning experience!

Artist notes: So this is what the original sketch for this whole thing was. It was just me scribbling out a scene I had in my head for Startrails that I wanted to put on paper:

This I'd say was made around 2020-2021 ish. At the time, I didn't really do much with it. Until several months ago, I thought of trying to redraw this page and expand upon it.

But my first attempt at doing this didn't quite lead anywhere. I barely got through the thumbnailing process and just gave up bc I lost motivation (and life/work stuff was Happening so yea I had to put this aside as I figured stuff out). Here's the first draft of the thumbnails:

It was just two pages at the time and was pretty simple. I left this project sitting in my files for a while until I one day just, started binging videos from Thestarfishface on YouTube, primarily her webcomic guide videos. And I decided I'd give this project another go.

It was here where I began making a second draft of the thumbnails and this was what I had to work with:

I wanted to experiment with the panels and get funky with the compositions this time around. The 2 page draft expanded to a 3 page thing. But I thought it would've been better if I added one more page at the end with Lucy waking up as a conclusion to wrap this whole thing together.

And in the middle of working on page 3, my friend had suggested to do a an impact frame page, which I hadn't considered during the thumbnailing, so 4 pages became 5. And this was the result!

I posted the pages as I finished them onto my deviantart so that's where a lot of my thoughts were journaled as I went along dfjsdh. To summarize my ramblings there, this project was a very fun (and a bit frustrating) learning experience! I'm hoping to keep practicing and improving my workflow, and hopefully one day make Startrails a full fledged webcomic :')

Additional ramblings:

The structure that Lucy finds Lumi in is inspired by an orrery.

For page 5, I initially didn't plan for much dialogue but as I drew it, it felt just a liiiitle bit empty, so I kinda just threw in some dialogue for Mira. But bc I was already in the inking process (and I just wanted to have this project completed), I didn't redo the page to even include Mira in it. So Mira's just out of frame sdfjskdh. If I had more time and energy to keep this up, I'd have made a revision of the page so I could include her.

This experience has taught me that I could seriously work on my rendering process a bit more, and that my layer management is just atrocious sdkfjksdfh

This has also taught me that while Medibang has the tools needed for me to draw these pages just fine, it also lacks some stuff that I personally need if I were to do a longer project like this. So I'll be experimenting with CSP next!

The dialogue throughout this whole thing wasn't all that planned out- I really just stuck close to what the initial doodle had which probably wasn't the best idea bc I just have like, 2 pages of Lucy's awkward sounding dialogue aaaa. I might do something a bit more dialogue heavy to help improve this skill next time.

Anyway, thank you for reading through my 1 am ramblings on this little project of mine shdkjhks

[sunset-a-story]

Get To Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

Thank you to @ceph-the-ghost-writer who tagged me in this and you should def go read their post here! And thanks to @davycoquette for creating the event!

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

Since November 2022

What led you to create it?

After having a beyond shitty 2020-2021 and pulling away from social media in general, a friend suggested I give tumblr a shot. I was also desperately looking for beta readers for Sunset and wanted to get involved in a writer community.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

The people! Getting to connect with writers whose brains work like mine!! And getting to rotate their ocs in my head! I've made some incredible friendships through writeblr that I wouldn't trade for anything.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I am as obsessed about Sunset as I seem (possibly more--let's not get into it) but I also love listening to people talk about the things they're obsessed with so I'm always up to exchange some excitement about our respective projects. Also, I'm hella dyslexic so if we chat, be warned you may get some word salad from me sometimes.

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I love seeing little quotes or snippets of info about OCs that help me become obsessed with them. And out of context lines/dialogue! Those are always a delight.

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Just put yourself out there! It took me a long time to be comfortable posting anything at all but that's the only way people can get a sense of your stories. Also, don't be scared to reach out to other writeblrs through asks and dms. We're a shy breed but once you corner us into a conversations, you've unleashed a flood of excitement.

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Sunset is my main project that I'm writing with my partner @touloserlautrec. It's a behemoth 2,000+ pages of converging plotlines and slow burn romance and intrigue and monster hunting. It's everything I love in a story wrapped up into one. Volume 1 (Sunrise) is out, Volume 2 (High Noon) is releasing weekly, and Volume 3 (Sunset) is probably 75% drafted. (Links in my intro if this somehow reaches someone who isn't already following me.) I've also been poking at a fluff side project to blow off steam for the first time in forever. It's a fluffy romance urban/fantasy with fae and a gay strip club. Just 'cause. I don't know that I'll ever post what I'm writing of this, but who knows?

How long have you been working on them?

Sunset for about 17 years, but seriously writing it for the past 8 years. Fluff Side Project? A month?

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

I ran an in-person RPG back in college that led Tou and I to create the world of Sunset and the initial core cast (Reeve, Alex, Hannah, Gareth, Misha, Adler) and then it all spiraled out from there. Fluff Side Project comes from some characters we made just playing around in a world we created as a no-stress play zone. The problems are smaller. The stakes are nothing like the high tension world of Sunset. It's fun. It's gay as hell. It's fluffy. And July is my least favorite month so I decided, hey, why not write it down while I've got writer's block for Sunset?

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

Sunset: 28 hours a day. Fluff: I squeeze in 3 or 4 hours in the evening.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I struggle to answer this question and it depends on who is asking. If it's on tumblr? I say I write science-fantasy slow build action with horror elements and lots of intrigue. IRL? I deflect.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I write about ruining Alex and Reeve's life.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.

There. Are. Too. Many. My favorite babies from my head are Reeve, Penn, Marek, and Anise.

Who’s the most unhinged?

Hannah is my most unhinged trash-panda gremlin. My nudist sniper. Ace Queen. Never shave, never surrender.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Reeve. And yes, that does worry me. (And my therapist.)

Do you ever cringe at them?

The #drag Reeve tag is a thing for a reason. (But really, I love him dearly and he doesn't truly deserve to be dragged as much as he is imo. It's a good bit tho)

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

I can wrangle when I need to but they do feel like independent little critters in my head. Writing for me tends to be me transcribing the movie I'm watching in my head while muttering, "OHMYGOD Hannah are you seriously going to say that? What is wrong with you?" Or "Reeve. Reeve. REEVE NO."

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

OMFG YES. Please give me any excuse to talk about these guys.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

If I jive with their WIP concepts or they have interesting OCs. Fantasy or sci-fi elements. Queerness. I'm more likely to follow if their intro has something about wanting to connect writers who are looking to hype each other up because that is what I am also looking for.

What makes you decide against following?

If their blog is full of hateful stuff or just super negative.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sure! I'm new enough to Tumblr that the lore of mutuals and non-mutuals hasn't rooted in my brain enough for me to super know which is which in my feed except for my small core group of moots I talk to regularly. So I interact with whatever posts catch my attention, moot or not.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

OHMYGODYES. There is a little mobile of characters and animals (a fish and some frogs) that dangles over my little brain threatening to distract me at all times.

I'll no-pressure tag some of my beloved moots here that I haven't seen recently tagged with this: @scribe-of-stories @words-after-midnight @pandoras-comment-box @revenantlore

@void-botanist @covenscribe And of course, anyone else who wants to do it!

You can find the clean question template here

[thornswoggled]

my pilot chapter reaction in a nutshell

i really enjoyed this first glimpse into what TAMB might have been, but at the same time im grateful that we didnt get it. its a testament to how strong yamazakis commitment is to crafting a strong and compelling character-focused narrative that we went through seven (!) drafts to get where we're at. this first draft is tonally confused, unsure of its direction, and provides little room to wonder where the story might go from here. its almost perfectly suited to be a one-shot... which might be well and good when youre pitching ideas to a publisher, but feels strange compared to the long and winding narrative of character progression we currently have

so the initial backstory for chise being sold is a lot weaker. reads like a fanfic trope, feels like a "my mom sold me to one direction" story. i think its more important for chise to have put herself into a stupidly dangerous situation of her own accord - one day id like chise to fully appreciate the gravity of auctioning herself, seeing as she has only enough shame about it to avoid telling her peers. theres little room for speculation for this chise, who is sold to a loan shark to pay off debt. how does a japanese loan shark get in touch with a british mage, anyway?

this chise feels like... how should i put it? you know in middle school, those chapter books you would read about sassy girls going to like, vampire school and stuff? do you get what im going for here? shes sort of like that. she feels like the protagonist of a young adult novel series called something like "High School SUCKS 🩸🧛‍♂️... Volume One of the KNIFE to Meet You Chronicles 😈😈😈"

we also see that chise is enrolled almost immediately in the college. first, let me say that i love this proto-isaac we got here. i can only imagine yamazaki decided it was too troublesome to draw, or just felt out of place. which is a shame, because i like isaac quite a bit and i didnt pay him much mind when the college arc was first coming out because his design is such a nothing burger:

just as in the final story, chise is the odd one out at school - a witch attending classes for alchemists. but because she wasnt a sleigh beggy in this version (yamazaki says in interviews in the same book that chise went through a few different versions of what made her special, including being a 'specter in human form'), its unclear why shes here. this part is particularly striking to me, because...

... yes, i dont think you belong there either! because you already have a teacher, and he seems to be teaching you a lot already. more than elias is in the final story, anyway. this chise is competent and already fairly-self assured. is she here only for the social aspect? i do appreciate that elias doesnt trail her to school, but it doesnt mean much given that theres no explicit reason for her to be there

moving on to elias. first of all, yuck:

thanking god and also jesus that chise doesnt use such deferential terms for elias in the final version. blegh

this elias is uncanny valley. while chise has more attitude and sass in this version, elias makes up for it by being goofier and more amiable. theres still a sense of him being strange and off-putting, but it doesnt seem that this elias is the 'mild-mannered child pretending to be an adult' that yamazaki says our current elias is. i cant imagine chise has much to teach this elias on how to be human - if he struggles with emotions, its harder to tell. which makes sense, given that she also states that her initial draft of elias WAS originally human. i love the way yamazakis loose sketches for these panels end up making him much more expressive:

he has a sense of humor! can you IMAGINE him trying to make this joke land in the final story. chise would be like (jesse pinkman voice) "............. okay"

i cant help but wonder if, given several more decades of chises influence, maybe elias could somewhat embody this pilot personality

all that said, theres a significant difference in the dynamic between these two, and its that elias has never made any sort of indication that he intends for chise to be his wife:

i think this is a huge issue, and it provides little room for their relationship to grow in a way that feels compelling. in the final story, chise knows almost immediately what elias expects of her (or... what she THINKS he expects of her... she wont learn that his view of marriage is uninformed til later), and it colors how she regards him. which must be confusing for elias, considering he has little idea of the implication behind his words. elias is just as handsy in this draft as the final, but without the pre-established expectation of "youre gonna be my wife," coupled with elias not necessarily needing chise to teach him how to recognize his own emotions, this becomes a will-they-wont-they student-teacher romance that i frankly have zero interest in. not to yuck any yums but i just dont like that at all

despite it all, the heart of their dynamic still remains the same, and the goal of this series remains the same as the final:

even with badass punky chise and goofball elias as our protagonists, this is still a story about two people from opposite sides of the planet coming together and acknowledging their growing interest in one another. the desire to understand each other more is still at the core of these two. im just glad it was refined into what we got

and finally...

badass action girl knife-wielding chise you will always be famous. i love her so bad. thats all

[use-your-telescope]

When Everything's Made to be Broken - Chapter 18: You Were in the Darkness, Too

Summary: The aftermath of the attack on the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 

Author’s Note: So… I meant to post a chapter two days ago, then Sunday morning I woke up and was like “nope I need to re-do some of this because I think it’ll be better if a certain event happens ‘on screen,’ so to speak.” Long story short, two days later, here we are! I feel like Oprah - “you get world building, you get back story reveal, you get plot progression, you get super self-indulgent hurt-comfort (maybe a bit more hurt in this chapter, but have no fear there is LOADS more comfort where this came from)!” 

Another random note - back when I started posting snippets on the beloved hellsite, this song initially was set with an entirely different chapter. Then I concluded it worked much better here. So if you have been around for long enough that you’re like “hold up a minute!” when you see the song and what happens here, that’s why. Tbh, I think most of the songs that were paired up with chapters have changed since I initially posted snippets. That’s the beauty of drafts, I guess? Anyways, thanks for your patience, and hope you enjoy <3 reblogs are always appreciated, and lmk if you want to be added to the tag list!

Contents: Descriptions of vomiting, in relation to describing a migraine. Nightmares. Tears. Loki being the actual MVP. 

Word Count: 5,913

Read on AO3 | When Everything's Made to be Broken Masterlist

Song: Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

A falling star fell from your heart And landed in my eyes I screamed aloud as it tore through them And now it’s left me blind

Some types of pain could be relieved with medicine.

Others… not so much.

From the moment Theo found Chris outside of the Met, standing amidst the crowd of attendees in a makeshift triage area that had been set up by blocking off 5th Avenue, she could sense a difference in the way he looked at her. He didn’t rush towards her; instead, he approached slowly, scanning over her appearance with wide eyes and the color actively draining from his face. When they met in the middle, Chris reached out as if he wanted to embrace Theo, but he froze with hands hovering inches away from her body, as if he was afraid to touch her.  

Even as Theo promised she was fine and that Chris shouldn’t worry – even as she checked him over, asking if he was okay, the short, half-hearted answers and the cold, wary look in his eyes didn’t diminish; instead of embracing her, he lowered his arms and stepped back, putting even more distance between them. 

He looked at her the same way the council looked at her: as an abomination, a curse. 

The exchange, however, was cut short - one of the medics employed by Stark to work with the Avengers spotted Theo and rushed over to request her help treating some of the most critical patients, who otherwise would not survive transport to the nearest hospital. 

So, Theo pushed the raw ache that settled in her chest to the back of her mind, ignored the churning of her stomach and the pounding in her skull, and set about treating the worst of the injuries, even if it meant she would blow past her limits and pay the price later on. There was a physical cost to using magic, and with healing that cost was much higher - particularly when the scope of healing required was practically bringing someone back from the dead. 

However, between someone dying or inducing a migraine from overexertion of magic, Theo would choose the migraine every time. At least when she healed, some good could come from her magic. Did it make her suffer? Yes, but she probably deserved it after everything.

And boy, she was suffering.

By the time she left, the only people who remained beyond the emergency response crews were paparazzi, lurking around the perimeter like predators stalking prey as they attempted to capture glimpses of the aftermath. They pounced at the sight of Theo, bloodied and drained after what was meant to be a celebratory occasion turned to a nightmare. Each burst of flash felt like an icepick to her skull and left her wishing she had enough energy to teleport herself home. Theo lifted one hand in a futile attempt to block some of the light, only for the shouting of the photographers to ricochet through her eardrums and into her skull. 

How Theo survived the ride back to the tower without throwing up from motion sickness, she wasn’t sure. By some miracle she made it back to her suite, only to make it a few steps inside the door before the nausea and sensitivity to light and sound made her beeline for the bathroom, scolding herself for her earlier recklessness as she dove for the toilet and prepared to empty the contents of her stomach. 

Over the sound of her retching, Theo didn’t hear her phone ring. Because her head was buried in the porcelain bowl of the toilet, she didn’t see the screen light up with Chris’s name. 

As the nausea faded, Theo remained firmly in place, bent over the toilet bowl with both arms stretched across the top of the toilet seat. Once she knew she wasn’t going to be sick, Theo carefully eased herself down to lay on the floor, having spent the last of her energy throwing up. 

Laying in her bed would have been more pleasant, but the thought of moving sent waves of churning heat through Theo’s stomach and made her entire body ache. Besides, the cool tile felt great against her uncomfortably warm skin and it was tolerable enough for her to pass out without even realizing she’d done so.

It was the vibration of Theo’s phone rattling on the floor that dragged her back to the world of the living, only to find she somehow felt even worse than when she passed out earlier. In her half-asleep stupor, Theo clumsily grabbed the phone from where she had tossed it as an afterthought. A wince snuck out as the light of the screen stabbed through Theo’s head; she squinted, trying to make sense of the contents on the screen.

The culprit was a text from Wanda, stating “you okay??”  and then including what looked like a link. But Theo didn’t open the text right away - a different notification on her lock screen caught her eye. A voicemail from Chris, from right around the time Theo got back to the tower, elicited a sense of foreboding dread from Theo that she couldn’t ignore.

With shaking fingers, Theo unlocked her phone and went to her voicemail. She selected the message, relying on the speech to text feature to read the contents of the message instead of listening.

“Hey, it’s Chris. I’d been hoping you would answer, but I guess it is what it is. Look, I’ve been thinking - I don’t think we should see each other anymore. I know it’s cliché, but I mean it when I say it’s not you - it’s me.”

Even if Theo knew it was coming, reading the words still made her sick to her stomach. 

“I know that you’ll always have to put your work as an Avenger first - I’ve always known that. I wouldn’t ask you to try and choose between being an Avenger and our relationship. But tonight, I saw you fighting, and I realized what it really means to date an Avenger, and– it’s too much. I can’t do it. If there’s stuff you left at my apartment, I’ll send it back to you. I’m sorry, Theo. Take care.”

Theo barely finished reading the transcription before bile clawed up from her stomach. She gagged, scrambling to her knees and barely managing to get into position before she threw up, this time expelling nothing but stomach acid in the process. 

Between the cramping of her abdominal muscles, the burning in her throat, the pounding in her skull, the uncomfortable heat of her skin, and the aches radiating from her bones, Theo was miserable enough. The voicemail, however - that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

A gasp escaped from Theo before she could stop it, then a whimper. Her eyes were leaking - no, water poured from them. She tried to cover her face with her hands as a whine escaped her throat, but she couldn’t stop the sobs that shook her entire body. Moving was painful - crying was painful - but the ache inside of her was far worse than any physical discomfort.

She should have known it would end like this. This was always what happened when people got to know her - they realized she was no good, and then they abandoned her. Thinking this time would be any different was stupid. Even if she told herself that whatever she had with Chris was nothing serious, it didn’t make the fact that he saw her for the curse she was, and he left.

They always leave.

And the worst part? Theo wasn’t angry at Chris for leaving. As much as she hated when the council looked at her like the curse she was, she could understand why. Her family deserved better. The Aneterrans deserved better. They all deserved better than her. 

Chris didn’t know the extent of the bullet he dodged, but he knew enough to make the smart decision and leave before he got hurt.  

By the time the tears stopped, Theo felt like a mess through and through. She didn’t even want to think about what she looked like - eyes swollen, hair tangled, makeup smudged, her skin still sticky with dried blood, and her armor torn from fighting. 

She needed a shower, and then a real bed.

As tempting as it was to lay back down on the floor and continue to wallow, the desire to feel less disgusting won out. 

Theo sat on the floor as she peeled the layers of armor off her body, only standing when she absolutely had to in order to remove her pants. The addition of vertigo meant that she spent most of the short time beneath the spray of cool water leaning against a wall, eventually sliding down to sit on the shower floor when her legs grew too tired to support her weight. 

The process of drying and dressing in pajamas required multiple pauses - one to be sick again, the others a result of aching limbs and muscles trembling from prolonged exertion. It took a herculean effort, but Theo finally made it to her bed, falling asleep before she even had a chance to pull the covers over herself.

The stars, the moon, They have all been blown out You left me in the dark No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart

Once a bustling metropolis, Meridia had been known for its opulence and innovation. The streets were packed with vendors peddling their latest inventions and entertainers attempting to woo the staff of the royal court in hopes of securing an audience with the king and queen. 

That Meridia was no more.

Theo stood in the center of a barren flagstone street, blanketed in the dark of a new moon. Broken glass clung to the window frames of weathered stone buildings long-abandoned, just one trace of the city’s descent into madness. Adjusting her mask, Theo pressed forward, relying on muscle memory to carry her into the underbelly of the city she once called home. 

Theo used to sneak onto those very streets with her cousins, placing bets on which performers would successfully charm whoever was tasked with the day’s errands. Sneaking amongst the city was how Theo first learned her governess had a crush with the Apothecary’s son, always traveling to him whenever she needed some sort of potion or supplies for Theo’s lessons. Theo also once caught Ravenna performing to a crowd while in disguise, though Theo immediately recognized her sister and used the knowledge as blackmail. If she listened close enough, she could hear faint traces of musicians’ voices in the wind.

A chill wracked her body. 

Throughout the streets, navy fog shimmered, emitting an iridescent glow as it weaved in and out of the alleys around her. When she left, this neighborhood had yet to be tainted by the arcane fog that had come to be known as the haze.  An orange glow and billowing smoke in the distance highlighted the silhouette of a broken skyline.

Even after all these years, the ruins had yet to stop burning.

The city was but a shadow of what it once was.

This was no longer the Meridia that Theo remembered, much less the Aneterra that Theo hoped to one day return to. 

Instinct led her down alleys and side streets, through what once were lush court gardens bursting with exotic blooms as she reached the rear of her destination. Dead vines of Ivy still clung to once-pristine stone walls; cracks in the weathered glass window panes only hinted at what Theo might find inside. Careful to avoid drawing attention to herself, Theo lurked in the shadows as she made her way round to the front of a building she once knew in and out, the place that she reminisced about on cold nights when the winds of winter rattled her windows as a girl in Michigan. 

Somehow, the front door - crafted of thick lumber and held together with intricate metalwork that reflected the status of the home’s former residents - hadn’t been destroyed in the massacre. 

Theo started to push the door open, but stopped short. She hadn’t been there since the night of the massacre, when she thought she lost everything. Even if Fury was right - even if Theo’s parents and sister were alive - they weren’t the only people Theo lost that night. The possibility that Theo might discover their remains just beyond the door was one she had to be ready to face.

Theo drew in a deep breath, steeled herself, and pushed the door open.

The creaking of worn hinges echoed through what once had been a grand foyer. A thick layer of dust coated the overturned furniture and picture frames along the walls, askew from the chaos of the massacre.

Theo’s boots clicked along the marble floor, each cautious step percolating through the air. The further she ventured into the room, the stronger the sense became that she was not alone.

Before her, a grand staircase curved up to the second floor, drawing the eye towards the massive windows which previously made the foyer feel particularly grand. In the dark, however, Theo couldn’t even tell if the glass remained in place, or if fighting had destroyed those windows too. 

Without consciously thinking about it, Theo crept towards the stairs and began to climb. Halfway up the stairs, Theo swore she saw a silhouette amongst the shadows cast by the window frame. Curiosity spurred her forward, past the top of the stairs.

Someone stood just in front of the window, looking out onto the ruins with their back towards Theo. They wore a black cloak, its cape brushing against the stone floor as it obscured the individual’s identity. 

As Theo drew near, they made no effort to look back and see who was there; as far as Theo could tell, they didn’t even seem to recognize she was there. With only a few feet between them, Theo opened her mouth and took a deep breath, ready to speak–

“...So…” The figure turned around, hands adorned with runes reaching out from beneath the cloak to lower the hood and reveal themselves to Theo. “... You are alive.”

Theo knew that voice like she knew her own name.

Ravenna stood before Theo, piercing lavender eyes filled with ice as she regarded her younger sister. Inky black hair tumbled over her shoulder, stopping just below her chest. Despite the lack of light, her skin cast a soft glow.

“Rae—“ Theo took a jarring step forward, only for her sister to step back.

“After all this time, you wander back here.” A bitter laugh escaped the elder sister. “What, are you here to save the day? We needed that years ago.”

“No, Rae–” Theo tried, “I had no idea—“

“No idea – what, we would still be here? Still fighting?” Ravenna spat, taking another step back. “Of course you wouldn’t - you brought this on us, why would you bother to try and fix it?”

She was the curse.

“No, Rae, please–” Theo extended a hand to her sister, desperate to plead her case. “I’m trying to get back so I can help–”

And in the dark  I can feel your heartbeat I tried to find the sound But then it stopped And I was in the darkness So darkness I became

Theo awoke with a jolt, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. The sudden movement sent a wave of aches rolling through her limbs while her pounding heart throbbed between her temples.

Dreams of Aneterra were nothing new, but the nightmare was different from anything she had seen before. This wasn’t seeing the world from someone else’s perspective, or watching like a third party; it was as if she had actually been there.

It was just a nightmare. It was just a nightmare - she had experienced plenty of them before. It didn’t take a witch to know that this wasn’t a premonition or a vision - this was a manifestation of her worst fears. There was no reason to give this particular nightmare any merit - her anxieties were unfounded, at least according to Memere.

But this one felt particularly vivid, and it was hard to shake.

Just the thought of her sister’s anger brought another round of overwhelming nausea. Throwing off the covers, Theo nearly tripped over herself as she bolted for the bathroom. She shoved the door open and stumbled inside, wincing at the crash of the door handle slamming against the wall. Collapsing to the bathroom floor, she barely managed to get her head over the toilet before throwing up. 

Despite the minuscule amount of bile, she continued to retch and gag for a couple minutes; it was as though her body was convinced something else was still in there, even though there was absolutely no way in hell that Theo hadn’t already emptied her stomach many times over. 

Completely spent, Theo closed her eyes and slumped against the toilet, temple pressing against the cool porcelain of the tank. Even without her eyes open, the ground beneath her tilted and swayed like she was on a boat during stormy seas.

God, she was a mess.

“Are you alright?”

Theo’s head snapped up towards the voice, only for her to wrench her eyes shut and groan as a fresh round of misery bashed in her skull. When the worst of it passed, Theo cracked her eyes open, blearily peering up through the dark to find Loki standing in her bathroom, staring at her as if she was a ghost.

“What’re you doing here?” The question slipped out, her exhaustion and malaise resulting in a far too blunt delivery.

“I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard crashing come from inside your quarters; when you did not respond to my knocking, I grew worried and came inside…”

It took a moment for Theo to register what Loki had said, but when it finally clicked, she burst into uncontrollable tears. 

I took the stars from my eyes And then I made a map And knew that somehow I could find my way back Then I heard your heart beating You were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you…

Of all the things Loki expected in life, attempting to console a truly distraught Theo at three in the morning while sitting on her bathroom floor was nowhere among them.

And yet, that was exactly where he found himself - cross-legged on the marble tile as he cradled Theo in his lap, her face buried in his chest as she wept with such vigor that her entire body shook. 

Loki replayed the series of events that led to his present position. 

Like many nights, it began because of his inability to sleep. What was rare, however, was that his insomnia was not the result of some night terror, some monster that left his mind running in circles as if it were a dog chasing its tail. 

No, he had been quite content when he settled into his bed, his well-worn copy of The Eye of the World in hand for some light reading. Yet, instead of dozing off to thoughts of Moiraine Damodred and her search for the Dragon Reborn, his mind wandered back to the attack on the Met Gala.

Theo had been the only one to successfully defeat one of the mystery beings that had been discovered, revealing an ability to control the shadow creatures that continued to antagonize Midgard. The carnage left behind, however, indicated that the being proved to be quite a challenge - beyond the mess in the gallery, Theo walked away from the exchange with no shortage of wounds that would require a healer to address.

Still, she hadn’t returned to the tower with the other Avengers. Instead, she insisted on ensuring her beloved actor was safe and seeing if any victims needed care - all the while acting as if she herself was not actively bleeding from multiple parts of her body.

Selfless, stubborn creature.

From there, his mind shifted to the being who had wrought such havoc. In the immediate aftermath of the attack, there had not been much opportunity to examine the corpse before it was whisked away by SHIELD agents for further study; what he had been able to discern remained fairly generic. Humanoid in form, though the shriveled appearance of their flesh gave the impression of some type of undead creature. Spider-like black veins stretched beneath their skin, as if they had been poisoned or cursed in some manner.

Yet, he hadn’t seen anything quite like it.

At that point, Loki accepted his fate: he was nowhere near sleeping. 

With that in mind, he scoured his book shelves for one of the tomes he rescued from Asgard during Ragnarok - one that he referenced from time to time, usually when SHIELD requested his insight regarding creatures that Midgard had never seen before. Leatherbound book in hand, Loki began the familiar venture to the sitting room for a sleepless night of research.

Until heavy, syncopated footsteps and a muffled crash from the next room over stopped Loki dead in his tracks.

A heavy thud, as if multiple heavy objects had been dropped simultaneously, followed. The sound came from within Theo’s quarters - a realization which only brought an increased pulse and a festering sense of dread.

Loki approached her door, rapping his knuckles on the dark wood. “Theo?”

He pressed his ear to the door, listening for any signs of movement. If he strained, he thought he heard some sound - coughing, maybe? - but nothing indicating movement.

A twist of the doorknob indicated that it had not been locked. Before he fully thought the decision through, Loki pressed the door open. He slipped inside, carefully navigating the pitch black as he began to search for Theo. 

Though Theo’s space was never perfectly clean, the sitting room appeared as if nothing had been knocked over or disturbed. The sense of urgency grew as he explored further, knowing that such a racket followed by such silence never had benign origins. 

A painful-sounding retch came from the direction of Theo’s bathroom, followed by a groan.

Loki strode towards the sound, careful to remain quiet in case something foul was afoot.

He rounded the corner to find the bathroom door wide open, revealing Theo hunched over the basin of the toilet as if she had just been sick to her stomach. 

The pieces fell into place - he must have heard her running to the restroom and throwing the door open.

When she finished, she slumped down a bit, eyes closed as she laid her head along the seat, breathing as if she had finished a grueling training routine. 

Though Theo had clearly showered since her return, she somehow appeared even worse for wear than the last time Loki saw her. Her complexion rivaled that of a ghost. Her eyes, though closed, appeared red and swollen, lashes glistening despite the darkness. Wrinkled pajamas twisted around her body in a rather unnatural fashion; combined with an absolutely disheveled braid, Loki guessed she’d been tossing and turning in her sleep.

Loki stood there for a moment, completely dumbfounded. Should he say something? What would he say? After waiting this long, would it scare her? Would saying something make things worse? If he didn’t say something, would she think he was a creep? Should he just leave?

At one point, he stopped himself and nearly laughed. He was Loki, of Asgard. How a Midgardian would react to him should not have been of concern. 

However, this was no ordinary Midgardian.

He drew in a deep breath.

“Are you alright?”

The way Theo’s head shot up confirmed she had no clue he was there, or at least he had startled her. A brief moment of horror flashed across her face, only for a grimace to take hold as she clutched her head and groaned.

Loki cursed himself for startling her with such a pointless question - of course she was unwell, she would not be in such a position otherwise.

Theo lifted her head once more and cracked her eyes open, squinting up at Loki as she blinked slowly. Something about her gaze seemed… Off. 

“What’re you doin’ here?” The question came out half-mumbled and a bit slurred; she listed back and forth ever-so-slightly, almost like she could not keep her balance.

“I had been on my way to the sitting room when I heard crashing come from inside your quarters,” Loki replied, frowning at Theo. “When you did not respond to my knocking, I grew worried and came inside…”

Unsure of how to conclude his statement, Loki trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.

The predicament he found himself in was well outside of his area of expertise; comforting people was something Maximoff was far better with. He briefly debated leaving to fetch the Scarlet Witch – she would know the perfect solution in a moment like this.  Yet, Loki remained frozen in place, mind reeling over how to proceed. Should he try to locate a healer? Should he try to soothe her? Should he leave her alone?

The silence stretched as Loki stared at her, frantically running through different ideas in his head and dismissing them for all the reasons they might not work. Loki found himself frozen, unable to make up his mind about what he should do.

In turn, Theo simply sat there, blinking slowly as she stared up at Loki…

… Until her face crumpled and she caved in on herself, a small, hitched breath giving way to a heartbroken sob.

Such a desolate sound had no place falling from Theo’s lips.

Spurred to action by Theo’s tears, Loki lowered himself to sit on the floor beside her. He may have been an Avenger, but he certainly was not a perfect hero. Despite bravery being in the job description, he had to dig up the last of his courage to pull her into what he hoped would be a comforting embrace. 

At the new touch, Theo tensed, gasping quietly as her trembling hands flew up to cover her mouth and stifle her cries.

Loki froze. 

Yet again, Theo had startled, all because of him. Loki cursed himself - of course he would make a mess of what should have been a simple interaction. With his luck, she wouldn't have a thing to do with him after tonight. 

It was too far to turn back now; after all, in for a penny, in for a pound.

Just before Loki lost his ambition and pulled away, Theo settled beneath his touch, shifting so her face pressed firmly against his chest; hot tears dampened the knit fabric of his shirt as she somehow began to cry even harder. Her arms slipped around his waist, clinging to him despite the way her entire body shook. 

Loki cupped one hand to Theo’s neck, the pad of his thumb slowly brushing against her unusually heated skin. This time, Theo did not recoil or freeze at the change, instead melting into the touch.

Perhaps there was hope.

Motivated by a surge of courage, Loki shifted from simply holding Theo close to tracing gentle, unhurried circles along her back. 

With every new circle, the smallest hint of tension slipped from Theo’s muscles; as more of her body relaxed into Loki’s embrace, her cries slowed and grew softer. Even when Theo had loosened her grip and the only sounds she made were shaky, slow breaths, Loki had no intention of stopping his ministrations. 

“Theo?” He murmured, nose brushing against her hair as he looked down at her.

“M’m s’rry…” With her face fully buried in Loki’s shirt, Theo’s almost embarrassed response came out almost charmingly muffled; however, she made no effort to move.

“It’s alright.” Loki used the hand on Theo’s neck to sweep her messy braid aside, flattening his cool palm against the overheated flesh. “I take it you do not feel well?”

She weakly shook her head. “Feel Awful.”

“How about I help you to your bed so you can get some rest?”

“No, please – I can’t – ” The force with which Theo shook her head the second time caught Loki by surprise, as did the rising panic in her tone. “– Can’t go back–”

“Darling, you need rest if you’re to feel better,” Loki gently tried to rationalize, though if the heat radiating from Theo was any indication, her ability to rationalize likely had been impacted by some level of a fever. “The floor is no place for someone who is ill. You ought to rest in bed.”

“Not mine,” Theo begged, ”I can’t–” 

“Would you like me to bring you to the infirmary so you might rest there?”

Theo shook her head, tightening her arms around Loki.

“I’m not sure what other options there are, as I do not think I can bring bring you to your actor—“

“Broke up.” A new pair of damp spots on Loki’s shirt accompanied the two-word interruption, punctuated by a sniffle.

“Pardon?”

Theo blindly reached to the side, drawing Loki’s eye to her mobile. He unfurled one arm to retrieve it for her. Theo didn’t even pull away from Loki to look at what she was doing as she unlocked the device before handing it back. Loki accepted, eyes scanning across the screen. 

The most recent of Theo’s voice messages was from her lover, not long after the events at the Met Gala. White, hot fury shot through Loki’s veins as he read the transcription; despite what Loki had been told of the Midgardian’s supposed kindness, the message he left Theo was short, blunt, lacking any sense of care for the recipient. If anything, it was downright cruel.

Perhaps it was for the best that Loki needed to ensure Theo was cared for first, as he otherwise might have tracked the bastard down and made him regret his callous behavior. The first thing to sort out, however, was where she might be amenable to resting, since her bed and the infirmary were, for some unknown reason, unacceptable.

An idea came to mind; though it might cause others to talk, it was, up to that point, the best he could manage without waking anyone else and dragging them into the conversation.

“How about you come with me to my quarters?” Loki cautiously suggested. “You can rest there for a while, then decide later if you’d like to return to your own bed or seek out the infirmary. Would that work?”

A slow, almost sleepy nod brought a swell of tenderness to Loki’s chest and a soft smile to his face. 

Loki carefully adjusted to cradle Theo in his arms before slowly rising to his feet. In what almost seemed to be instinct, Theo pressed her forehead into space between Loki’s shoulder and the crook of his neck, letting out a strained breath before settling in. Though Loki had already established the presence of a fever, it wasn’t until carrying Theo that he noticed she was not simply trembling, but downright shivering.

Careful not to jostle Theo as he navigated the tower in the dark, Loki made the return journey to his quarters with restrained haste, relying on his Seidr to help with managing doors and other environmental obstacles that otherwise could have slowed or complicated the process of getting Theo to bed. 

Upon arriving in his own quarters, the dim, golden glow from a nearby lamp provided the first opportunity to take in Theo’s appearance under any sort of light; Loki paused for a moment to confirm his prior assessments regarding Theo’s condition. Much of what he discerned in the dark remained accurate, though he did find the smallest relief that it seemed she had fallen asleep while in transit and appeared almost peaceful… Were it not for the tell-tale signs of tears previously being shed, one might have been fooled into believing all was well. 

With a hushed sigh, Loki brought her from the great room to his bedchambers. A flick of one finger and shimmer of emerald seidr later, Loki lowered Theo onto the bed, carefully tucking her beneath the silken sheets and the plush duvet which Loki had crafted from the finest Asgardian textiles, pausing for a moment when a soft, breathy hum snuck out of Theo and she shifted, snuggling further beneath the covers. 

A few minutes later, Loki had placed a bin beside the bed in the event Theo became sick to her stomach once more, procured a glass of water and set it on the closest nightstand, and drawn the drapes shut so the morning light would not wake her.

With nothing else to distract him, Loki now had to answer the question he had yet to consider: where was he going to sleep?

The proper answer, of course, would be to find alternate sleeping arrangements, lest anyone make inappropriate assumptions about the circumstances. 

But doing so meant leaving Theo by herself, essentially abandoning her when she was in the midst of a particularly vulnerable moment. Surely, she would understand if he remained close by; after all, she trusted him up until this moment, enough to abandon her own quarters in favor of staying in his. Besides, he had stayed with her once before when she felt unwell. Precedent had been set to ensure no one mistook him for less than noble intentions, given the circumstances.

Yet, as Loki crawled beneath the covers on the opposite side of the bed, the distance still felt as if he were abandoning her. What if she woke up, delirious from fever, did not see him beside her, and panicked at the lack of familiar surroundings? If Theo laid with him, Loki would know the moment she woke and could ensure she had whatever she needed; even better, he could use his Jötun heritage for benevolent means, combining it with his seidr to reduce his core temperature so he could serve as a sort of full-body cool compress. 

Amidst warring thoughts, the weight of an arm draped across his chest ripped Loki from his indecision. Theo had rolled over in her sleep, curling into Loki’s side with her head resting atop the dip between shoulder and chest and one leg wrapped around his as if second nature. She nuzzled into him, oblivious to the waking world, her breath slow and deep in contrast to Loki’s racing heart. 

For a moment, Loki found himself dumbstruck by just how natural it felt to lay with her tucked into his side in such a manner. In her most vulnerable moments, she found solace in his presence. In her sleep, she sought him out. And though he could make any multitude of excuses as to why - she was not aware who she curled herself around, she was not of sound mind from illness - the excuses did nothing to dispel the pure awe that resulted from realizing the trust Theo placed in him.

In the morning, he would locate Maximoff and determine how to proceed; until then, he would embrace the trust placed in him, and hopefully repay it tenfold.

He willed his seidr to work, cooling himself to offer Theo some relief from her fever, then allowed himself to drift into a pleasant sleep.

The stars, the moon, They have all been blown out You left me in the dark No dawn, no day, I’m always in this twilight In the shadow of your heart

[suburbanbonfire]

tagged by @18minutemajor for a hockey art share tag game! I enjoy talking about myself but am terrible at posting so this is perfect. i WILL talk too much, this is a threat.

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favourite hockey art, then tag three hockey artists.

FIRST ART

I made the Kraken Orb (Korb) at the end of the 22-23 season, as a commemoration, although a sort of ironic one considering i had only gotten into hockey in time for the playoffs so there are a couple players here i actually never got to see play at all before making this (Joonas, Jaycob, Burky, Fleury)

it was a whole lot of fun though! Prior to this i was in a months-long art slump after leaving a fandom, so it was a total surprise to have hockey of all things be what revitalized my art.

technically, the very first hockey art from this was Matty; you can kinda tell by the way his lines are a bit thicker than the rest since i wasn't in my groove yet. i also knew coming in that i wanted to arrange the faces in a circle, but didn't plan out beyond that, so i just made sure that i was getting a variety of head directions in my references and hoped for the best. My favorites from this are Gru, Soucy, Dunn, Schultz, Borgen, and Eeli. I think they all turned out really well.

LATEST ART

MEAT CUT MEAT CUT

this one is fun for me because it's quite different from my usual style of art, with lineart and non-realistic forms/face. I've had the concept in my head for awhile after hearing/reading so many interesting descriptions of the physical qualities that good hockey players possess.

'Sacrifice the Body' actually came in mid-art when i had an epiphany doing something like driving my car or an activity similarly unrelated. Before that, it was going to be a lil heart drawn on the chest and the going contender for the label was 'Ferda.' which would've been great, but sacrifice the body just worked too dang well with the themes.

FAVORITE ART

i mean, c'mon. it's gotta be this one.

my magnum opus, my white whale. it came out even better than i saw it in my head and i love everything about it. when i came up with the idea, i had TOTALLY forgotten that Climate Pledge has those giant windows, so when i set out to find references and saw it, it instantly made everything even better with LIGHTING!!!!

It was my first time drawing this kind of interior architecture and although there's definitely things i would do differently now, im so so proud of how it looks and turned out. I was also still drawing through my decade-old laptop at that point, so I had to split up the work on this into two files - i sketched everything, then worked ONLY on the bg until it was about 90% done, then made a flattened copy to open as a new file to draw the players on top of.

I also have a bunch of WIP shots of it in my drafts I guess I'll throw in here now!

initial sketch to get down the composition before i remembered the window | lines of the building! i actually found a 3d virtual tour of CPA from before it was built which had the PERFECT angle, so i screencapped that and straight up traced the architecture. Ultimately, the scoreboard and the paint lines ended up getting moved around.

planning out my lighting in greyscale (i really need to do this more often, i struggle with values so much, alas) | in progress bg! at this point, the ice and the boards/glass were the only things completed. I eventually said 'fuck it' to being able to see the areas behind the stands like you could in all my references, and just put the people dots all the way up.

Now the most gut-wrenching part

THE TAGS

this is where me being bad at posting comes into play, because instead i just lurk and thats not great for forming connections HERE GOES

@ruinedcasket - it has been awesome seeing your art progress! would love 2 hear your thoughts about it

@rouzys - your kraken stuff is so pretty, love how you capture likenesses

oh god oh fuck everyone else i know has already been tagged fuck oh sshit

If You Are An Artist On Hockey Twit And See This, It Is A Sign

[perfectlovevn]

hi boss! absolutely loved Perfect Love and you did such an amazing job with the entire game's execution! i loved how you were able to so clearly portray eris as f-ked up and the main instigator for everything, pulling the strings behind the scenes instead of the usual "i didnt do anything wrong" or "im just trying to survive" type of MC (which isnt bad at all, but im so happy with the freshness and utter depravity eris brings) i love your art and the intentionally messy style that highlights the disorganisation and chaos in both eris' and milo's mind, the recurring motifs of eyes, red, blue, god i can go on and on. really your vn is so well crafted with how intentional every creative decision taken seems, im going crazy with the amount of love, time and effort you put into perfect love.

ive read every single name easter egg you put and the references to other yandere vns/media (jd <3) AND went on to give us more with adding little quips later in the game depending on the nickname eris gives milo. i was literally going crazy with how i couldnt decode the 2nd type of cipher you scattered throughout the code until 2 days later when i was ready to give up and ask you hahaha

from there, if it isnt too spoilerish, is there reason you used the nihilist cipher that removed the letter J instead of the usual Z ? and ! i loved the snippets with the friendship gang, tysm for leaving in your writing process and brainstorming products in the game files i had so much fun <3 im so sorry for the rant and thank you so much for the game! 1000% looking forward to your next one if youre working on something!

Hello! Thank you for your kind words!

Yeah, one of the main reasons I made Eris like that because because of how much I really wanted to see more evil MC in visual novels (or just yandere media in general). While there isn't anything wrong with having a yandere who is just there to survive, there is something very fun about being the one who causes the yandere to become worse than he initially was.

I'm glad that you found such meaning in the art style! Honestly the biggest reason I drew it like that was because I was trying to get it done for the 2023 yanjam and I didn't want to overwhelm myself so I just made mostly everything black and white. That and it's supposed to symbolize more of the darker aspects of the game. Did you know all my assets were drawn with one brush?

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy the details because I really did try to put as much as I could in there. Since I think it would be fun for people to see the neat details people put in the game (I know I sure do when I play visual novels), I tried to make everything very catered to what was going on in the story. It did take some extra work, but I think it's good for the game and my general learning experience. I'm also glad you enjoyed the easter eggs I put in for names and nicknames. I was very sleep deprived when I did it and I kept adding them in because I don't have good attention span (or at least, that's part of the reason).

For the cyphers inside of the code, I put a hint at the very top relating to each of the code. Each of the four types is represented of the three Milos with the one in English being from Eris. The Nhilist cypher is specifically for Manipulation and the key is in the second line based off of the capitalized letters.

Yeah! I'm glad you liked it. I'm still in the middle of writing the other ones (I'm working on the one with Poison in it, which recounts what Eris did to get Poison to fight Violent in his route). I always like leaving my drafts in there because I always find it fun to see people's thought progress in code and games.

No, no, I love your rant on it! I think it's really fun seeing what other people like, dislike and thought about the game in general! My next game will be a lot more light hearted, but still have a yandere character in it.

[elvirable]

Fast Lane | Chapter 2

[ Simon Riley x f!Reader ] | ao3 link

rating: explicit | word count: 3.7k | status: work in progress themes/tags: damsel in distress, protective Simon, smut, car chase scene, simon lowkey stalking you.. for a mission ofc, gun violence, loose plot ———————————————————————

Simon had never said a word to you, but he was beginning to know you. Only through the small details, of course. In other words: Simon “Ghost” Riley has kept a close eye on you for weeks now, waiting for the mission cue. Action ensues to rescue you, a thrilling car chase, and ends wrapped in hotel sheets.

(Ch.1)

-

Your fingers drummed against the side of your thigh, timid tension buzzing throughout your nerves.

Elevator doors parted to reveal high ceilings framed by walls of blue glass that overlooked the street. An oblong conference table dominated the floor space, leather chairs neatly tucked into the wooden surface; the room was nearly empty except for a few seated executives, broad men who could only be assumed as security, and a waitstaff who was rolling in a cart adorned with pastries and an espresso machine.

You must’ve looked like a wide-eyed doe in the headlights because your awe was interrupted by a smooth, older voice greeting you.

“Welcome,” one of the executives rose from his seat. “I hope you didn’t have much trouble finding our office.”

He was an older man, middle-aged with an animated smile compassed by trimmed facial hair and wrinkles. Like the other executives, he exuded an air of professionalism and prestige  — graying slicked back hair, a firm posture, and a well-tailored suit. He made his way over to you, extending a palm to greet you.

You shook his calloused hands and matched his welcoming smile. He introduced himself and the others as he guided you towards the conference table, inviting you to sit.

“If our secretary, Tanya, didn’t already tell you, we were absolutely impressed by your resume.”

“Yes,” chimed one of the other executives, this time a slightly younger man whose expression was sharp and slim. “Our managers spoke highly about your interviews. Your work ethic and attitude is exactly what we need to incorporate into our culture.”

“Ah,” you were admittedly flustered, taken aback by the rush of flattery. “Thank you.”

You were normally talkative and expressive, but the atmosphere instinctively caused you to urge composure. Honestly, you didn’t believe you would get this far. With initial shock, you had been invited for a final round interview for a job you desperately needed. 

“So,” the first executive paused to sip his coffee, “we invited you here today not only to meet the person behind the resume, but so you can get a feel for the office.”

He praddled on while an assistant offered you a freshly poured espresso and pastry, to which you nodded with quiet gratitude. Your eyes returned to the man speaking, but you couldn’t help to feel the two other men’s gazes lingering on you  — a sensation that didn’t feel too great, instead somewhat grimy.

“With remote work being so popular nowadays, unfortunately a lot of our staff aren’t in today. Feel free, however, to take a look around. Marcus here,” he gestured to the man with sharper features, “can give you a tour while Tanya drafts up the rest of your offer and paperwork.”

“That sounds great, thank you.” You held a cordial smile across your lips, sipping the espresso; it was extremely bitter, and you had to conceal the urge to twist your face into a grimace. So odd  — the man before effortlessly finished his. You weren’t in the habit of drinking straight espresso, perhaps it was an acquired taste. 

You placed your cup back onto the stained mahogany table, managing to finish the remaining sip. Lifting your gaze to the two men seated across from you, their eyes no longer traced your figure and were instead droning into your eyes. Marcus was the first to cut into the short silence by commenting on the weather and continuing on with material, surface-level topics.

Conversation was light, briefly landing on details about the company’s benefits and employee retreats. An odd feeling pitted your stomach. Maybe it was your nervousness, being in a setting you weren’t quite used to  — or the culmination of an extensive interview process. 

The chatter fell to a natural hush before you spoke.

“Alright, Marcus, I’d love a tour if you’re ready.” You offered another polite smile to which he immediately replied.

“Ready when you are,” his smile was flat, perked at the corners of his mouth. He rose from his seat after you, meeting you at the entrance of the elevator.

The third executive, who had been mostly silent until now, headed towards one of the sleek doors on the conference floor. As the elevator whirred, he wished you farewell. You thanked him with a parting wave, but your smile faltered as a rush of nausea coursed through you. It was rapidly accompanied by light-headedness. Again, however, you internally dismissed it by chalking it up to anxiety or standing up too fast. 

With a chime, the elevator doors opened. Marcus stepped in after you, completely ignoring your clearly unsettled demeanor. 

“We’ll start with the marketing branch. Some of our managers..” his voice began to fade, now replaced by a loud ringing clouding your hearing. Your vision was framed by a darkness, and your head felt unbearably hot as your knees began to buckle beneath your weight. Panic rushed through every muscle, hastening your breathing as you fought to grasp your consciousness.

The last thing you remembered were the steel doors rolling shut and arms catching you as your vision was engulfed by black.

…

Humming vibrations and muffled voices lulled you awake.

Bleary and blinking, your eyes focused on the ceiling of a car interior. Light streaks washed over the gray felt, the woosh of traffic sounding more clear around you as you regained your bearings. 

Stiff-limbed and still  — you were laid in the backseat of some standard SUV. You immediately became mindful of everything  — your breath, muscles, anything to refrain from drawing attention to yourself. Your hands and ankles weren’t bound, so you doubt they planned for you to rouse during the ride..wherever you were headed.

Two men, burly and toughened, were seated in the front; heads you haven’t seen before. A murky myriad of questions throbbed against your head, but you couldn’t entertain them. Fear gripped every shred of you, despair settling in at the impossibility of the situation. You wanted to scream, to bang on the windows in the hope some passenger car would call for help. But again  — you couldn’t; you were frozen with dread.

Raised voices dripped with frustration, drawing you out of your frightened inner echochamber. 

“Who the fuck is this guy tailing us?” came a growl from the passenger seat.

“Agh, we’ll lose him. Probably just some asshole,” replied the dismissive driver. There was a click of metal before the rich scent of tobacco permeated the air. 

“Pass ‘em over.”

“Let me get a drag in first, you ass.” Despite the roughness in his tone, the passenger let loose a throaty laugh.

Silence again, except for motors whirring around you and the quiet inhales of cigarettes. 

“Fuck, look at this asshole. He’s trying to pass us up.” You could hear the passenger vexingly shift in his seat, leering at the side mirror.

“Just let him, who cares.”

A mechanical whirr droned as the passenger window rolled down, the man starting to shout undoubtedly some creative curse before a softened pop sounded. Panic immediately ensued in the SUV as the car’s smooth speed now turned bulky and bumpy. Some car horns blared outside followed by the roaring of mufflers.

“Fuck, fuck! He shot our back tire  —” there was ruffling from the passenger seat before a click, the man racking the magazine of his tactical pistol. 

“We’ll push ahead,” said the driver, voice firm before he was interrupted by the buzz of a radio blotter.

“You guys OK in there?” questioned the radio.

“Yeah, yeah  —” said the driver in a rushed tone. “Back tire blown out, we’re still good with the front.”

“Detailing the escort car right now. They saw the shot come from a black pick-up.”

“Black pick-up,” confirmed the passenger. “Asshole has a silenced pistol, too.” 

“They’re three cars behind you, the escort  — just push ahead.”

“What do we do about the psycho?” inquired the frustrated passenger.

“Escort will deal with it, so just push ahead. Pull over at exit 42 and use the ‘donut’ in the back.”

“Got it.”

The radio feed fizzled as the voice faded out. 

Panic was boiling through the shock and numbing fear that had locked your limbs earlier. Adrenaline now coursed through your veins, riling up your thoughts as you combed through all the possible actions you could take to make it out of there  — to make it to the black pick-up, the only chance you had. 

More shuffling came from the passenger seat, his body beginning to turn in your direction. Instantaneously, you shut your eyes and focused entirely on regulating your breathing to a steady pace. It seemed to suffice, as the man turned back to the window in silence. 

Once he began talking again, you peeked your gaze to the tinted windows. Perhaps once the car returns, you could start banging or lower the windows to garner the attention of the black pick-up. Apprehension twisted your lips at the sight of the passenger’s pistol resting near the center console of the car. 

“There he is, coming up,” the passenger hastily blurted, readying his pistol and angling his head to get a proper view of the black pick-up in the side mirror. 

A sudden bang, followed by pitched metallic scraping, rocked the car. An off-guard yelp slipped through your lips. The man in the passenger instinctively turned to face you, proving fatal as another soft pop went off  — warm blood splattering onto your blouse. The passenger’s body slumped over.

Pure shock was trapped in your throat as you sat up, shaking any fixation on what had just happened. The driver’s movements were now rigid, struggling to turn the wheel; you could now view how the car was nearly pinned against the black pick-up and was edging closer to the divider.

“You’re fucking crazy!” shouted the driver, still wrestling with the wheel to prevent completely crashing. He was completely aware you were wide awake, sputtering towards the window while the car jolted, but he didn’t care. 

As you approached and lowered the tinted window, the sparking and scraping metal became unbearably louder. Your panicked eyes looked over towards the black pick-up driver, only to have your gaze met with dark ones. They were ashened, the only striking feature that hadn’t been covered by a skull-donned balaclava. 

You didn’t know these eyes, but they knew you. They had finally found you. 

“Get in. Now,” barked the man, his order direct and urgent. 

The backseat window of the pick-up lowered. For a brief second, in your hesitation, another car was approaching from behind visible from your peripheral view — a similar SUV as the one you were in.

With a deep and shaky breath, you climbed and hurled yourself into the backseat of the pick-up. Your knee and wrist throbbed with an immediate pain from your landing, but the adrenaline overrode any urge to wince. 

Almost instantaneously, the black pick-up pulled away from the SUV and shifted lanes. More car horns blared, distant police sirens swirling and oscillating far behind all of the commotion. 

You stuttered, mouth agape as you stared at the masked man. You had no option but to trust this man, and more questions began to batter against your mind.

“Who are  —” you began, abruptly cut off by his deep tone.

“Get down and stay down.”

His voice was enough to silence any burning questions you had in the moment, as you promptly followed his words. You ducked low, laying against the leather upholster of the backseat. However, your stare never left the masked man; the only window into this mysterious savior were his eyes, which droned forward with a calm composure. 

The car lurched as he moved over to another lane once again, and you clung onto the passenger seat to brace yourself. 

Sirens had grown louder momentarily, until he turned down a winding exit between thrushes of trees. The silence had now become deafening, matching the volume of your pounding heart. After a few minutes, the car stilled to a stop in a gravel parking lot. 

“C’mon.”

The car was still running as the masked man clicked the door open and exited. His stride was quick as he opened the backseat door and waited for you to stumble out.

“Where are we going?” you finally pushed the words out of your throat, fully processing them once they were spoken.

“Hop in, then I’ll tell you.” His gaze left your face to survey the surrounding roads, watchful as an occasional car passed the rundown gas station you were parked at. Urgency straightened his posture as he gestured to another pick-up, barely visible from behind the building. 

“I —” you closed your mouth just as quickly as it had opened, not sure what to even respond with. You were still confoundedly bewildered, frankly quite overwhelmed and haven’t begun to process what exactly had occurred. 

Gravel rustled underneath your footsteps, soon rounding the building and entering the new truck. It was white, a similar yet used model compared to the black one. Once you shuffled into the backseat, you looked over the contents placed behind the driver seat: a first aid box, a throw blanket, water bottles, and a small cardboard box with packaged food.

The man turned the ignition and the truck roared to life. He turned in his seat, arm extended against the passenger headrest to properly reverse the truck out. Quietly you sat, watching his focused eyes before they flickered briefly towards yours. 

“You okay?” his voice, originally harsh and low, was a softer tone now. You breathed for a few moments, perhaps to gather your thoughts or  the fatigue was finally settling in, while he turned and merged onto the main road.

You perused your body, which seemed fine, despite some bruising and the haziness still lingering in your eyes. The soreness of your limbs began to fade, and you sunk into the backseat after reaching for water. 

“Yeah, I think so.”

His eyes darted towards you in the rearview momentarily, watching as you drank the water. The car slowed to a pause at a red light, and he took more than a moment to study you while you stared out the window.

Small spots of blood were speckled across your blouse and exhaustion paled your face. You were now leaning against the window with your curled finger resting against your bottom lip.He had seen this face so many times wandering into the cafe or buried in a book. Peace was now replaced by a subtle distress, one lost in troubled thought. Those delicate hands were trembling, and your brows were furrowed.

The light flashed green, and he pulled his focus back onto the road.

“You can ask your questions now,” he cleared his throat. “Got a long drive ahead of us.”

His words seemed to pull your attention away from the passing outside view, somewhat successful in providing the ease he had aimed for. You shifted to lean comfortably into the seat, mulling over in your mind and twisting your lips. Chaos had fizzled into silence, and you needed help making sense of it all.

“Okay, first off —” you breathed, as if you had to brace yourself. “Who are you? Where are we going?”

“You can call me Ghost.”

“Ghost? You don’t have a real name?”  

“It’s on a need-to-know basis,” he replied before tossing you one of his task force badges. “We’re headin’ to a safehouse. You’ll get a medical check-up and be interviewed.”

“Okay,” you let the words swirl in your brain, lips pursed as his answers temporarily sufficed.

You held his laminated badge between your fingers — it was an official government issued card, which provided some relief. And you could almost laugh, if it wasn’t for the weighing exhaustion, 

that even in his photo ID this man still had a mask on.

“So, what exactly happened? I..” your voice trailed off, your thoughts sitting heavy on your tongue. You tried to recollect your thoughts in an attempt to piece it together yourself, but grew quietly overwhelmed.

Ghost glanced at the rearview mirror, watching your brows furrow and your soft face muddle with puzzlement. He waited for you to continue, but spoke when it was evident you were finished speaking.

“The agents will probably brief you, but you were being targeted. Not sure what for.”

He knew the details, but chose to be vague; to be honest, he wanted to spare you from the reality and didn’t want his words to be the cause of such anguish. However, Ghost’s words only spurred the confusion twisting your face.

He attempted to quell the trouble visible on your face, “You’re safe now.”

You smiled softly, finding some resolve in his response. Tucking your disheveled hair behind your ear, a strand slipped from your ear to frame the curve of your cheek.

Ghost noticed your smile when he glanced back at the mirror and felt a tug at his mouth to do the same. When you fell silent, he offered to turn on the radio  — something that he didn’t really do himself, but again to offer some ounce of comfort that he could. You responded that you would enjoy that, but at a low volume.. something to occupy your mind for the remainder of the car ride. 

And so the radio played softly for the entire ride. He’d notice when a song familiar to you would play, how you’d tap your fingers against your thigh. An hour in, Ghost would find you in the rearview fighting the urge to succumb to exhaustion since all the adrenaline had burned through you. 

Eventually, your eyes fluttered shut. 

During a stop to refuel the truck, he shook out the throw blanket in the back and delicately placed it over you. There was that default softly lonesome face of yours, at rest and fast asleep. His jaw clenched at some point  — a quiet anger tensing inside him at the plans those despicable men had in store for you. Oh, the grief that riddled through him when he imagined your gentle face wrought with fear and tears.

For the rest of the ride, he was diligent to drive carefully and avoid any bumps in the road while you slept away.

[armorofvulnerability]

So I’ve been trying my hand at designing my own ttrpg system lately (for at least a year now) as a personal project, and I’m actually super pumped about the progress I’ve made while working on it so far!

It’s far from complete, so don’t expect much, but I haven’t been this excited about something I was working on in a while, so I’m pretty excited!

I’ve managed to get the initial character creation pretty much down to a T, and I’m close to finishing up the rough draft of the combat system too. There are so many aspects still to work on, but I’m very enthusiastic about how far I’ve gotten.

It feels great to really put effort into a project again, so I’d love to expand and elaborate for anyone who might still be viewing my posts on the regular.

Shoot me a couple asks about it and I’ll gladly share!

((This is an open invitation with no time limit as of yet.))