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#maybe I want too much and this is my punishment
stayandcozy · 3 days
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Reflection of Us
Hyunjin X Reader Oneshot
WORDCOUNT: 3833
Masterlist
MATURE THEME ADVISED (Smut Focused)
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These celebrity parties normally never bothered me. I was used to smiling and just nodding my head as big name idols rambled to me about a lifestyle I completely didn't understand. But that was okay. I didn’t mind and often I enjoyed getting to know more about the life Hyunjin lived. 
When we first started seeing each other two years ago, I made it clear that I didn’t want to share that type of lifestyle with him yet. I wanted something quieter, more romantic. But of course that only got to last a while, luckily we both knew it would happen. That Hyunjins relationship with me would get leaked. It was horrible at first, with fans sending death threats and him needing extra security. But now things have settled down and as my punishment I get to go to these parties. 
Worse was that these were not just social events for the boys but also work. Which meant Hyunjin was off playing the politics of his life. And I was forced to listen as Changbin listed off all his reasons for getting the idols to play a baseball tournament. 
“Oh come on, you have to see it right? All of us in those cute little outfits running around? The fans would eat out of our hands! Imagine how cute Hyunjinnie would look.” 
“Bin, your fans would be too focused on how bad you all are to pay attention to the outfits.” I said while taking a sip of champagne. It was expensive and still tasted like shit. 
“Where is your boyfriend, I need someone to team up with,” and with that he started whipping his head around to look for Hyunjin. I was completely unbothered by his antics so I just shook my head and looked down to check the time on my phone. But when I looked back I saw that his eyes had grown three sizes bigger. I followed Changbins gaze to the corner of the room where Hyunjin was sitting on a chair with two girls on each arm rest. They were giggling at something he said, and touching his shoulder flirtatiously. 
Not here. Don't make a scene, anywhere but here. 
As if he could feel the jealousy radiating off me, Changbin turned to me trying to diffuse the situation. “I’m sure he doesn’t even realize what they're doing.” 
I took my glass of champagne and swished it down in one gulp. “No, maybe not, but I’m not sure that makes it any better.” 
I couldn’t stop myself from staring at them. The way both girls would lean into his sides. It was driving me crazy. It made me even more sick when I saw Hyunjin look up and smile at one of them. What kind of game was he playing? Did he want cheating rumors to start, because this is exactly how you get into that kind of scandal. Or maybe he just genuinely enjoyed the attention. The thought he was enjoying himself started a deep burning in my chest and before I knew it my vision was blurring. 
Sometimes it felt like Hyunjin knew something was wrong when he shouldn't. There have been too many days after work where I couldn’t find the energy to make an effort, and before I could even tell him, he’d be calling me. Telling me how much he loves me, and that no matter what he’d be there for me. That sixth sense he had, must have been the reason his brows scrunched and he looked up to meet my glare.
There was no way from that distance he could have seen me on the verge of crying. But I guess from my deep set frown he knew something was wrong. He started to get up but one of the girls started pouting, put a hand on his chest and pulled him back into the chair. I saw him say something to the girl but then the other put her hand on his thigh. Way too high for it to be innocent. And that was enough for me. I wasn’t going to sit here and watch my boyfriend get felt up.
“Hey Bin, can I take your dorm key? I left my car keys there and I’m not feeling too well.” I let the lie slip out even though I knew he was going to call my bluff. 
“It’s pretty cold outside, do you want me to call you a taxi?”
“No really, I’d rather walk. Give me a chance to ease my stomach.” He gave me a sympathetic look before digging into his pockets to retrieve a key. He dropped it in my hand before walking off in the direction of Chan and Felix. 
I didn’t waste any more time, and rushed to grab my coat and head for the doors. The air outside instantly nipped at my nose and cheeks. Changbin wasn’t kidding, it was unbearably cold. But the temperature was helping cool down the fire burning inside of me. Every time I thought of her fingers grazing his thigh it ignited stronger. Why didn’t he stop them? Was he really enjoying it like I thought? I know that he’s surrounded by beautiful idols every day but never once have I ever felt insecure. Not until then at least. That definitely made me insecure, hyper aware of every flaw on my body. 
Three quick beeps from my phone pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. 
From My Love <3 
9:52 pm
Hey sweetheart, where did you go? I saw you one second and then you were gone.
9:52 pm
Please tell me you aren’t walking home.
9:53 pm
Changbin told me you left and then called me an idiot…? Did I do something????
I didn’t have the energy for it. I just wanted to get back to my apartment and sleep. I clicked my phone off and instantly another text came through 
From My Love <3 
9:54 pm
I know you saw those. You’re making me anxious. Can you please tell me what’s going on baby? I can’t leave for a bit more, will you at least let me know you’re okay? 
A petty thought came to me, one that I knew wasn’t right but I wanted to hurt him like how I felt hurt. If he was fine with having two random girls flirt with him all night, then he would be perfectly fine not knowing if I was okay or not. Imagining him panicking over me made me feel a little better, which also made me feel insanely guilty. Whatever, he could handle one night of worrying about me. 
The rest of the walk didn’t feel real. I couldn’t recall a single thing from my walk, only that my insides were too numb for me to register any of the numbing on the outside. But when I walked into the dorm building, my ears started to hurt from the cold. I really needed a shower, something to warm me up and calm me down. 
It was rare that the dorms were this quiet. It was nice. 
I figured I still had a good few hours before any of them came home, and Hyunjins shower had one of those waterfall heads that dropped soft water. I opened the door and turned on the water as hot as it would go. A smile crept onto my face as I thought about how Hyunjin has screamed and called me his demon in the past whenever I got in first. But that smile soon disappeared as the thought connected me to everything from tonight, and it hit me again like a train. A scream was threatening to spill past my lips but instead only a choked sob came out. I let my legs give out as I sat and nothing could stop the onslaught of tears. 
What was wrong with me? Was I not enough for him? Did he want something more than what I could give? I couldn’t compete with those girls, who am I even kidding. Maybe it would be easier on everyone if he dated someone from the celebrity world. He shouldn’t even be with someone like me. I should take some space from him. 
The waves of thoughts were exhausting me more and more. I needed to get home. Sleep would bring clarity, surely it would. 
When I stepped out of the bathroom, the steam shrouded around me. Looking up from the ground, I was met with the red and puffy eyes of Hyunjin. I nearly screamed, not expecting anyone home, and feeling all too vulnerable in only a towel. 
“He told me you left because of me…” he started but trailed off when he had to wipe away a few stray tears. It took everything in me not to caress his pretty face. 
“Yeah...” 
He just nodded, and sat looking even more devastated. I couldn’t handle it, I needed him to leave or I was going to lose my resolve. “Please, can you get out? I need to get dressed.”
“Since when have you ever been shy about your body with me?”
”Since now Hyunjin.” 
“B-but I’ve literally painted your naked body before. I’ve stared at it for hours. Thirty seconds of changing is nothing compared to that.” 
I’m not sure why it upset me, but it did. “Mmhm, and that was before I felt like I was competing with other women. Now I don't want you to see me naked.”
His eyes softened a bit but there were still more tears threatening to spill, and I absolutely hated how beautiful he looked with the added sparkle. “Baby… Is that what this is about? About Seoyun and Jiwoo?” So he knew them? I didn’t know if that should have made it better or worse but I felt the familiar burn start in my chest. He shouldn’t have left, I didn't want him to follow me. Seoyun and Jiwoo would make better company. 
“Hyun, please leave.”
“No.”
“Why are you being so difficult? Can’t you see you’ve upset me and I want to be alone?” 
A small, exasperated giggle fell from his swollen lips. “I didn’t upset you. You got jealous.”
I rolled my eyes extra hard at that. “I don’t get jealous.”
“Then why did you leave the party so suddenly?” 
“Because I felt sick.”
“Because you thought I was flirting back,” he said more as a statement rather than a question. 
“No because watching you with them made me realize how terrible we look together!” It exploded out of me before I even had the chance to think. I regretted it immediately. 
“Come here.”
“Hyun no I don’t—”
“Sweetheart. I said come here.” 
He said it with such authority I felt like I had no choice but to listen. I let my legs carry me over to stand in front of him. But that wasn’t enough for him, he wanted, needed me closer. His hands came to my back, and pushed me to sit on top of his lap, straddling him. 
My eyes were closed, I knew I couldn’t look at him. I felt his soft hands push a strand of my wet hair behind my ear and his hand lingered a bit longer, swiping at the remains of old tears. 
“There is only you…” He whispered as his lips ghosted under my ears, “there will only ever be you.” I hated how easy it was for him to affect me. The evidence of goosebumps spread across my arms gave him the push he needed to keep going. “Look at me, my love.” 
And I listened again. I opened my eyes and stared into his. He was searching for something, but I didn’t know what. I stayed quiet hoping he would continue so I didn’t have to reply. I knew if I opened my mouth, I wouldn’t be able to control what I said. 
“When I have interactions with other women at parties like that, it means nothing to me. Truthfully it makes me quite annoyed but this is my life. I can’t risk coming across as rude even if I’m uncomfortable. I let them delve into their little fantasy because it’s easier. Seoyun and Jiwoo are the nieces of one of the big donors of JYP. My managers would have killed me if they said anything about bad manners.”
“It's not fair… I don’t want them to fantasize about you.” 
A shit eating grin spread across his face when I said that. “You do realize what our fans fantasize about right?” God, I really hated him sometimes. I lightly slapped his shoulder and tried to push away from him, but his arms wrapped around my waist and wouldn’t let me move. I kept struggling to slip away and it was useless because his hold was concrete. “Hey don’t try to wiggle out of this!” He laughed and started kissing my neck. It instantly sent shockwaves through my body and my groans of displeasure turned into moans of contentment. I was embarrassed of how quickly the anger melted off of me. 
The anger disappeared completely when I felt him harden in response to my moans. 
“Hyunnie…” 
“When I look at you love, I see art. It’s why you're the subject of most of my paintings. No flowers, oceans, or fields of green could compare to you. Those girls are nothing more than a business transaction. You are my muse, not them. There’s no reason to be jealous because you don’t belong in the same world as them.” 
“Ah—No more, no more… I feel like I’m going to explode from too many emotions.”
“Then is it okay with you if I show you how beautiful we look together?”
I couldn’t do anything but nod my head weakly up and down. He moved me off his lap and walked over to his dresser before shoving it roughly in front of the bed. “Baby what are you—” I asked but I was met with a sly smile and a shushing sound, so I did nothing but sit there and watch as he moved his large full body mirror to lean on the dresser. Excited panic started to rush up my spine. Oh my god he wasn’t going to. Was he? 
My question was answered quickly when Hyunjin came behind me and sat on his knees with me in between them. If the fandom knew him from one thing, it would be his cocky confidence. The way he was able to turn anyone into putty in his hands was a divine gift. One that he used often against me. I couldn’t help but blush as I realized what his intention was, so in order to take a chance to breathe I looked down and stared at the floor. But he wasn’t having any of that, and his beautiful fingers clenched my jaw and forced me to look him in the eyes through the mirror. All too soon he removed his fingers carefully as if to gauge if I’d try to look away. When he decided it was safe he pulled away fully and his fingers went to the buttons of his shirt. 
When I thought earlier that Hyunjin shouldn’t be with someone like me, this is exactly what I meant. He was too pretty for his own good. As if he was made to be looked at. And I couldn’t look away. The way his brows scrunched in focus as he finished unbuttoning sent tingles to my thighs and I subconsciously pressed them together trying to ease the ache he was creating. After discarding the shirt on the floor he nimbly removed his pants, throwing them across the room. 
“Now,” he started. “Look at how beautiful you are.” And he hovered over my hand that was desperately holding onto the towel. I gave in immediately and let him pull the towel down. We were both staring at each other through the glass. His eyes darkened and a hungry look took over his features. It was rare for Hyunjin to get this possessive, this dominant. Staring didn’t last long, he was getting impatient I could tell by the way he subtly arched his hips into my back. Suddenly, he pushed me down so my face was pressed against the bed and my ass was up, all of my intimate parts on full display to him. No matter how many times he saw me naked, I couldn’t help the blush that would paint my cheeks. 
“I’m going to make you cum on my fingers, and you’re going to be a good princess and watch how pretty you are when you cum, okay love?” 
“O-okay.” Was all I could stammer out before I saw him take the band around his wrist and throw his hair half up out of his eyes. Fuck, he was doing it on purpose. His eyes met mine again as he twirled a strand out of the pony tail and let it fall. He knew this hairstyle made me flustered. Whenever he did it at practice he would purposely send me a picture to tease me. And that’s what he was doing right now. That cheeky grin was back, and a groan slipped past my lips. 
“Hyunnie, if you’re going to tease me all night, I’m going to go back to being mad at you,” I said. 
“Oh? Is that so…” He trailed off and I felt those godly fingers slip between my folds. “You’re too wet to be mad at me sweetheart. You would dare leave.” 
The feeling of his fingers dancing on me was making me dizzy and if I didn’t get more soon I was going to pass out. I started grinding myself back onto him. Thankfully he finally listened and those sweet fingers pushed inside me. He was slow at first, taking his time as he eased a second finger in. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror and moaned at the sight. Hyunjin had one hand placed on my ass, and the other pumping in and out of me at a fast pace. The way he stared, captivated by me sent another shock to my brain and I could feel my orgasm bubbling. 
“Fuck… God.. Ugh baby look at you. I’m going to cum just from looking at you. You wanna cum baby? You wanna cum on my fingers?”
“Yes, god please, please, please, yes.” 
“Give it to me then baby. Cum for me.” 
And as if his every word held some supernatural force over me I did. I screamed out his name as I came around those stupid fucking fingers. 
“Did you see how pretty you looked, love?” 
Oh fuck. “I’m sorry, it felt so good baby I closed my eyes.”
He tsked, and I felt him shed his underwear. “I guess I have to do it again then and make sure you’re watching huh?” This side of Hyunjin made me weak in every way. I felt drunk on the dominance he was feeding me. I loved taking the lead with him normally but I couldn’t lie to myself. It felt insane to let him use me however he wanted. 
Before I knew it, I could feel him plunge himself into me in one slick thrust. The remains of the previous orgasm made it too easy for him to slide in. He let out a breathy moan and I snapped my eyes to the mirror to watch him. The image was so lewd. Hyunjin had both hands on my hips as he set a quick pace. I stared in awe as I watched him fuck me. Both of our moans joined together. He was right, we did look beautiful together. I nearly came when I saw him let out a light laugh and swipe his tongue over his teeth as he let out a vulgar moan. 
Watching him was bringing me closer and closer to another orgasm. 
“Mmm feel so good baby, I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep clenching me like that.” He said breathlessly. 
He was fucking me at a ruthless pace now, chasing his own high as he took quick deep thrusts. I couldn’t take it anymore, it felt so good. I let my head rest on the bed and closed my eyes for only a moment. 
“Nuh uh, we’re not doing that again,” he said as he reached forward and pulled my hair back towards him. The pain forced another loud moan out of me and it only encouraged him to go harder. I could tell he was closer from the way his eyebrows knit together and his thrusts become sloppy and greedy. He looked completely fucked out.
“Need you baby, need you to cum in me.” I managed to get out.
“Oh fuck…” and he fucked into me impossibly deeper. He still had a fist full of my hair forcing me to look in the mirror. I came instantly when I felt the warm jets of cum fill me. Clenching around him in flutters. 
He pulled me closer to his body and I felt the sticky sweat cling to my skin. His head was resting on my shoulder and I felt him watching me through the mirror, breathing heavily. I took a breath before I looked to meet his gaze. 
“See? Beautiful. We belong together. You fit me like a puzzle piece.”
I felt a pang of guilt wash over me and quickly slid off of him and turned to sit in his lap. 
“I’m so sorry I was so cold to you. I just got so insecure.” 
“It’s okay sweetheart. I understand completely. But no more being a brat to me over jealousy okay? That’s my thing.” I could help but giggle at him. He was truly the best, and I couldn’t have asked for a more caring boyfriend.
“Yeah I’ll leave the dramatics and brattiness to you. I don’t wanna feel jealous ever again.”
“Really? Not even after I fucked the jealousy out of you?” 
“Hyunjin!” 
“What! It’s true.” He giggled. God I loved him. I never hated him. I pressed my lips to him and felt him melt into my touch. 
“I love you.” I whispered. 
“I love you too.” He replied. 
His eyes looked at me so innocently and I felt that school girl crush creep up on me. What did I do to ever deserve him?
“You deserve me.” 
“How did you even—“
“I told you, you are my muse, love. I know you better than you know yourself. Come on, let's get you cleaned up and go cuddle. I expect two hours of back rubs as an apology for thinking I’d ever choose anyone but you.” 
And with that he stood and took my hand leading me back into the bathroom. A smile crept onto my face and I thought about how beautiful we looked together. I felt all of the worry melt off of me and something warmer, softer spread throughout my body. 
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Author Note
You may have seen this before! I posted it on my private account, but decided I should post it here too. No I’m not stealing anyone’s work haha, I’m the original author. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed it you dirty freaks. <3
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eldritch-spouse · 2 days
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Pin I just had a galaxy brained idea regarding this post with Vinnel.
https://www.tumblr.com/eldritch-spouse/760273736029110272/could-healed-vinnel-make-a-pearl-does-he-even?source=share
What if he makes a pearl that is the exact shape and size of your missing? eye. Maybe it's his weird possessive obsessive apologetic?, way of truthfully fully telling you he loves you. The eye is gone. There's no changing that. Maybe it was a punishment for you being too disobedient, ungrateful, whining too fucking much. Or it could have been taken in an accident. You both know he goes too far, forgets your limits, disregards them all together.
What matters now is that things are different. Better in a few ways. The eyepatch was cute but this is a much better much more meaningful replacement. And now when he looks into your eyes he can see his three favorite colors at the same time. 🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️🖤♥️
[Anon. I will be taking one (1) of your brain wrinkles.]
TW: Brief gore.
Things have changed. The world. The place you're trapped in. Vinnel.
He's someone else now. Perhaps not to the world at large, but to you. You had known he was a slime for a while now, an ill monster hiding his vulnerability behind the figure of a tormenting jester. He's still that ruthless sadist today, hasn't lost a wink of his cruel prowess... But he's no longer ill. He's in tip top shape for that matter. This "gift" won't undo a lifetime of wrongdoings and trauma, but...
You suppose having less chronic pain will make you slightly more tolerable.
It will clear your mind just long enough to make you realize some of what you have done in the past has been much too harsh.
Vinnel isn't one to openly show remorse, you don't think he's ever truly apologized to you. But what is this, if not an apology?
When he presents the intentionally misshapen pearl to you, holds your face so very softly and slots it into palce with care, mimicking the gesture he's seen you make a million times with your other eyes... What is that if not a motion of regret? When he kisses you, wipes the silent tears off his own eyes and proclaims "My poppet, the fairest in the garden.", is that not a promise of a better future?
You'll never forget the day he chose to rip your eyes out. The flashes of pain and your own wild screaming will never fade, neither will the sight of an orange and purple holding silverware -The last thing you saw with two eyes, really. You won't forget shrieking and throwing up as it hung limply from your socket, before it was severed. He still has it somewhere, you just don't want to see it. Maybe, if you try hard enough, you'll forget where it is.
Looking in the mirror however, feeling the jester's bare arms wrapped around your middle... You can't help but think this is a new Vinnel. That maybe things will be better than ever.
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dragon-toad · 10 hours
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HOT TAKE : Makarov was a bad father (and a bad grandfather)
I'm expecting a big wave of hate with this one... BUT LET ME EXPLAIN
We can dive into the generational trauma theory : we know Yuri has been profoundly hurt by his wife's death (giving birth to Makarov) and this is a thing we should consider. In most cases, people live with the burden of the death of their partner until they die, which could have been Yuri's case. And the idea that somehow his wife died for his son... Well, angst potential.
Now : death of a loved one + wife who dies giving birth to his son = difficult father-son relationship
And even if Yuri didn't do it intentionally, there could have been a distance between the father and the son, and it has repercussions on the futur.
So yes, it maybe happened completely differently, but let's consider this hypothesis to understand what comes after :
Makarov was raised in the guild, where everybody is friendly. The only thing is his daddy issues. He ends up considering the guild more important, so the thing to cherish and protect at all cost.
Everything is fine.
Then, Ivan enters the game.
I know it's very fun to have an antagonist in the family of the master, the man presented as the most loving, a father for all the lost children, etc. BUT maybe we can go a little deeper.
We sometimes have this idea that some characters are born meaner than others, it allows us to ignore psychology and sociology, but it's not fun.
We can suppose Ivan was born in the guild, like Makarov and certainly Laxus. And as it's shown every single second that Fairy Tail is a very healthy environment, a "big family", so even if Ivan was a bit twisted, he would not have been so mean with his colleagues, provoking his exclusion, and he would have not tried to destroy the guild.
Unless he have daddy issues too. Let's consider : Makarov has a son and the mother is nowhere to be found. Doesn't it remind you of something ? But Makarov know his relationship with his father wasn't awesome, so he tries differently.
So two possibilities can be explored :
1- Ivan is a spoiled child. Being the master's son allows him to do reprehensible things and not be punished after, or not too much, and Makarov wants to give him all the freedom he didn't have. Until he almost kills another member of the guild. Then Makarov is forced to expel him. He takes away the thing that gave Ivan an almost unlimited power, and he doesn't like it. So if he can't have Fairy Tail, nobody will.
2- Makarov prefers the guild to his son. He doesn't know how to raise a kid, what if he screws like his father ? (Spoiler : he does) So when Precht makes him the new master, he puts all his soul into his job. But Ivan wants a father. So he does everything to make his father notice him, to make his father proud. It leads him to dark places, and thus, being strong = being good enough. Unfortunately, it doesn't work, because he ends up expelled. So, by pure rage, he decides to destroy the thing his father loved more than him. (It's my favorite version)
In both cases, Ivan manipulates his son into believing that being strong is the only way for him to be respected, to be seen.
Which leads us to the Laxus part (finally)
It's canon that Ivan pushed his son to be the strongest (to the point he put a lacrima in his body) so yeah, Laxus has daddy issues. But he has gampa issues too.
Let's continue with the theory we built on this post : Makarov doesn't really raise his son, why would he raise his grandson ?
But we see Makarov taking care of a very young Laxus. Thus, Laxus once loved his grandfather. Except Ivan didn't. So we can suppose he decided to keep his son under his control by manipulating him into thinking he has to be the strongest.
Then Ivan was banned.
The problem with an abusive relationship is that the victim thinks the abuser is on the right, which explains why Laxus was all but happy his father was expelled. But he stayed in Fairy Tail, because despite everything, Fairy Tail is his home. But this home is controlled by the man who banned his father (his abuser)
Laxus becomes a rank-S mage, which means he's the strongest. He has all the rights to make Fairy Tail his home, not Makarov's.
Well yes, but no.
Because there's Mirajane, a prodigy so fucking strong she becomes a rank-S mage too. But Lisanna dies, and suddenly everybody loves Mirajane. She even becomes the right arm of Makarov, because she's too weak now to create problems now.
And there's Natsu and Gray, Makarov's little boys. They're noisy, annoying, but they have potential. They have the potential to become stronger than Laxus. And Makarov loves them.
But more important, because there's Erza, who is so strong, so kind, so nice... Who is his grandfather's favorite. The same grandfather who did nothing when Ivan imprisoned Laxus into a psychological jail and who banned Ivan for somebody else's weakness. And Laxus knows it : she is the future master of Fairy Tail. She will steal his home and make it even weaker.
So he has to take Fairy Tail now, even if his grandfather dies in the process. Better, it will make things easier !
But in the end, Laxus loves Fairy Tail. He loves the guild enough to not betray everybody by joining his father's guild.
Laxus broke the cycle. And I don't think it was thanks to Makarov. If Laxus broke the cycle, it's because despite everything, he has weirdos to stick with. The Raijinshuu are a safe place for Laxus, they are strong enough to be his friends colleagues, they don't call him "psychotic" when he tells them he wants the guild, and more important, they care for him.
Laxus broke the cycle thanks to people who cared for him. They even wanted to follow him when he was banned ! But he said no, because he care for them and he knows they will be better in Fairy Tail.
Now, let's consider : travelling must have felt like therapy for Laxus : he's not part of Fairy Tail anymore and he's sure he will never have the possibility to come back, but he will not join his father because he doesn't want to put his friends in danger. So he has to do something by himself, not under the influence of his father. And I believe this emancipation was beneficial for him. He could learn what it means to be himself, not Ivan's son or Makarov's grandson.
I don't think he fully forgave Makarov for his inaction and for loving other more than him, and he's not completely out of Ivan's philosophy, those things need time, but he escaped the cycle.
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My Spn Finale Thoughts:
As the ending of a show: 7/10
As the ending of Supernatural : 2/10
Let's start with the super obvious: things that Dont Make Sense.
Dean didn't know vampires were real until some way into s1 (ep16?) and yet knew John's journal almost off by heart, but never saw the clown mime vampires written into the journal? Hm.
At the start of the episode, we have Dean saying something like "to honour their legacies all we have to do is keep living" then literally dies 20 minutes later, completely dishonouring Cas' sacrifice
Where the Hell did Miracle go???
Who was Sam's blurry wife? Why wasn't she in any of the photos on the mantelpiece? Speaking of, where were all of Sam's friends, like Charlie, Kevin maybe, Ellen and Jo etc? Jody and Donna??
Why would Bobby say Cas helped when we don't even get to see him (i will come back to this thought later on)??
Stuff I liked/tolerated:
The CONCEPT of the emotional Sam and Dean talk
OG number plate on Baby
Ellen's Roadhouse
Sam getting to have a family
Stuff I didn't like:
How the emotional talk was done. 1st off, why is the camera focusing on their hands so much, why did they touch foreheads ew? Also Sam's "you can go now" was completely uncalled for like, did he want Dean to die???
Obviously how Dean died. He could have been sent into outer space with the Mark of Cain, he could have been locked at the bottom of the ocean in a Mal'Ak box, he could have stayed in Hell forever, but no. A rusty nail on a hunt he probably didn't even want to do,, he was applying for a JOB.
Jack didn't get to have a childhood and grow up. It would have been so much better for emotional connection to have Jack de-aged to grow up as a normal kid instead of Dean Jr whom we had NO emotional connection to, and only existed to say the same like to Sam that Dam said to Dean.
No representation for the girls or any of the side characters in general.
No resolving Dean and Cas. At this point I wouldn't care what they talked about but they should NOT have only briefly mentioned him just so he wouldn't have to show up.
DEAN DIDNT GET TO LIVE A LIFE. Thats all hes ever wanted. At some points even more than Sam. He had a job application and could have made himself a life but no it was his destiny to die like that or something (more on this later too). Tbf id rather him live his life alone than with a random person we've never seen before (that or Cas but they obviously couldn't choose that one)
My idea of what Actually Happened (aka Chuck Won Theory):
They try to separate the idea of destiny and Chuck's pre-written path, but they are one and the same. 15x20 is exactly the unsatisfying, mediocre ending Chuck wants to punish them with.
Dean's heaven is designed to make him want to stay. Everyone he loves within reach, the mention of a Cas that isn't in the empty (leaving Dean with no motivation to free him of hes 'already out') and the promise Sam will eventually arrive.
Chuck's ending still happened. One of them still got killed. Chuck's still pulling the strings and they are all still in the Hamster Wheel.
Overall: it ended the show. It didn't end Supernatural.
@hostofthepersever @duomaxwellandducks
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person4924 · 1 day
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marauders as phoebe bridgers songs🧐
AGHAGAHAGAAGAAGHAGHAHA. this is gonna be a bit long guys!! i pulled out the lyrics and shit for this one
punisher garden song - regulus kyoto - marlene!! punisher - remus but i want to say mary because of the "i feel like i know you but weve never met" (i think im hilarious) halloween - remus and just wolfstar in general chinese sattelite - sirius moon song - WOLSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR WOLFSTAR. wolfstar. savior complex - wolfstar again ICU - remus but remus to sirius. so. wolfstar again. im sorry graceland too - MARLENE OH MY GOD. like. "a rebel without a clue" come on now. i know the end - the black brothers.
stranger in the alps smoke signals - sirius but like remus to sirius yk? so uhh again. wolfstar. but like "its been on my mind since bowie died" like!! motion sickness - the black brothers!! shout out to the drowning lyric too funeral - just all the marauders during the war esp. but aslo the rosier twins and reggie (also mentions drowning!!) demi moore - dorlene scott street - maybe wolfstar? yeah them !! killer - god i love this song. god i love this song. god i love this song. uhhh maybe dorlene? i think it could be like any of the ships georgia - jegulus!!! also mentions drowning (im sensing a theme??) chelsea - idk this song very well but. i just looked at the lyrics. and. oh! so wolfstar !! metiones prison boy (sirius??) would you rather - ANTOHER song that mentions drowning. the black brothers!! you missed my heart - i love this song but i dont think any of them would murder eachother so itll all work out - pandora!! specifically her to lily
misc killer + the sound - sirius. waiting room - sirius. sidelines - sirius again dude i love him so much so much wine - the black brothers!! day after tommorow - remus. the war. summers end - this song makes me sob every time. the black brothers.
so yeah!! you can totally tell im normal about phoebe bridgers and wolfstar
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satureja13 · 2 days
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After Jeb and Kiyoshi finally came back to consciousness, the Boys went to Porto Luminoso. Since they're already here and the members of the Council scattered to the four winds, the Boys could as well cherish their time here before their meeting with athena and Ms Coombes tomorrow afternoon.
And since the Bond wasn't able to join Ji Ho and Vlad beyond the Veil and it's finally, finally allowed to run free (No curse! No spell! Nothing to hold it back anymore!) it's grimly determined to get its share! It's feeding off of the love shared between Ji Ho and Vlad and it's been starving all these years! Ji Ho and Vlad felt the pull from their Bond. It wants them alone. And close to each other! And they decided not to act up, since the Bond already hates Vlad (for trying to kill it - twice!) and they are afraid it would punish him again, should they not obey ö.ö' Vlad: "Eh, Ji Ho and I..." Jack laughed: "Got it! See you later for dinner at Porto Azzurro! And: don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
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The others went over to Porto Azzurro. Sai and Jeb fell behind because Sai was drawn towards 'Moda Capoliveri', the fashion store. To give Jeb and Sai some alone time too, Kiyoshi said: "Jack and I are going jet skiing. See you later!" Jeb was flustered, being alone with Sai after all those months apart is still a mine field, but answered: "Uhm, ok..." Jack was proud of Kiyoshi making a bold move like this: "You're totally my kind of scum. Fearless and inventive." And off they went.
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It still feels awkward between Jeb and Sai. They agreed to start over again but Jeb is afraid if he says the wrong thing, it would all go downhill again... But Jeb didn't need to talk. Like the Bond, Sai is grimly determined to make it work this time. Sai: "Do you remember our first date? Tomorrow it's two years ago. You also took me to a fashion shop." Jeb laughed: "It was just the Thriftea ^^' But of course I remember." They didn't have money to buy anything since they're already deep in dept for their tutoring, but Sai loves it to browse for new ideas for Noxee and his fashion store Strawberry Cake Fashion.
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Jeb sensed how tense Sai is and how much he dreads their meeting with athena and Ms Coombes tomorrow. Jeb: "We will be able to pay back the school fees and of course Ms Coombes will give us a loan. Vlad, Kiyoshi and I worked hard over the weeks you've spent at the beach house and we even payed back Rubyn and the others and were able to put some money at the side. Don't worry, hm?" Sai: "Gods, while we wasted our time with that stupid game and the tin can!" Jeb: "Don't say that. This game helped us a lot and it is going to help others too (Jeb sensed that Sai wanted to scream and disagree, but he kept on talking). Sai, the Therapy Game was worth the trouble. And our stay at Verdantis was worth it too. Look on the bright side, hm? We got amazing tutoring and improved a lot and the game helped us to overcome some of our hardships. I feel we're able to face anything now. You did a great job keeping us together and making us stronger." Sai smiled at Jeb, he always knows to say the right things to him. Then what Jack said earlier came to his mind (about Jeb trying to avoid woohooing with Sai) and so he tried to nudge Jeb in a different direction... Sai: "Since we improved a lot, will we also be be able to put our relationship to the next level? We could ask the owner of Hotel Elvis for a free room, since we chased the Council away from Tartosa again ;) We've spent our second date here, do you remember?" The Little Goats: 'Yes, yes, YES!'
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But Jeb didn't find it fair to the others (they are supposed to sleep at the campsite tonight to keep their money together) and does not want to exploit the hotel owner, so he declined Sai's offer... Or maybe he really tries to avoid getting physical because he does not want to hurt Sai should he want more...
'She: You know, sometimes I ask myself: What is this a kind of fear to lose you? What is inside of you that makes you unique And makes me fall in love with you?
He: I like to spend days teasing you With phrases that I get old And, perhaps, your impossible character Makes me fall in love with you
Cosa Sei - Ricchi e Poveri
'A volte, sai, non so perché, mi trovo a chiedermi cosa sarà questa paura che ho di perderti. Che cosa c'è dentro di te che ti fa unico e mi fa innamorare di te?
Mi piaci sempre e passo i giorni stuzzicandoti con frasi come «Sto invecchiando sopportandoti» e forse è proprio il tuo carattere impossibile che mi fa innamorare di te.'
From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest
Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here
📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28
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diacripticcomplex · 2 days
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Shu x Yui (Dark)
“Please…! I’ve had enough..! It hurts so much!” She sobbed, of course it was going to hurt, I was purposely cutting her deeply. My fangs should be enough for her but lately she’s been acting up. Thinking I’m too lazy or too in my own head to realize what she’s been doing, fucking around with other guys. I’m not stupid but she’s not my girlfriend so i technically shouldn’t give a shit. And honestly I don’t, I enjoy indulging in her blood, and I enjoy having sex with her but that’s about it…hurting her like this gives me great satisfaction as well, I’m usually never this energetic but I caught her fucking one of those mukami bastards, the one that looks just like Edgar, it kind of hit a nerve for me. She looked like she was having the time of her life with him and here I came in ruining her short lived fun.
I lick my blade before I stab it into her lower abdomen. She lets out a sharp gasp before giving me a horrified look. “Shu..are you trying to kill me..?!” She asks me, I let out a sadistic chuckle. “Maybe..” I tell her as I grab her jaw, clutching it firmly. “I forgot how much fun it was torturing you” she looks like she’s about to be sick to her stomach, I’m truly having the time of life here.
“Why am I being punished…I don’t understand”
“You chose me to protect you or whatever..and then you go and get yourself fucked by the Mukamis..are you sure you don’t understand why you’re being punished..?”
“He came onto me..! How is that my fault??”
“Oh..so you were raped?”
Her face flushed away and you could see guilt in her eyes.
“I heard you calling out his name…your moans were like music to my ears, you were in so much pleasure”
“That’s not-“ she began to say but I cut her off, pushing her down. She winced at the sudden movement and the fact she hit her head. Maybe I am being too violent..but I don’t really care if she dies right now, like Laito says, that means her soul will be mine forever…not that I want to be haunted but I wouldn’t mind it.
“I’m losing too much blood..” she whispers out then blacks out into a deep sleep. I look up at the moon, still full and potent. I take her numb body and chain her up by the wall. The blood smelled so sweet, sticking to her skin like that, the wounds I created were oozing less than before. I plop myself down across the wall from her , watching as she slept, I close my eyes too and drift into a light sleep.
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ceolocunt · 4 months
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#today has been. such an insane day I dotn even know where to start#there is so much on my mind about my panrets and my sister and my friends and#im drunk rn btw. which explains everything#but I just dont kno whow to even begin to unpack how im feelin#I dont know where to start#I feel like im a million miles from all my friends because I AM (physically) (emotionally)#and I feel like im a million miles from my parents because I AM (emotionally)#I feel like im a million miles from help#ive been looking into residential programs and my therapist has supported this but I just have no idea how id approach this idea to my pare#parents.#bc I have in the past and like.#idk I just keep replaying this fucking memory of me showing my mom a hospital and saying “this looks like somewhere good for me"#and her saying “for your sister?” <- or smth like that. its been a year#im just. sad. all the time and especially when im drunk#me when the depressant depresses 🤯 aint no wayyyyy#but yeah its crazy how my parents are too tired to start shit to point out the obvious self harm scars ive gained since january.#shocker!!! <- this is a pattern#my parents love ignoring my self harm#im just so tired#im so tired#this is going to be a really hard summer I really need people to check in on me. hopefully#ill do what I can do talk to other people#also the urge to buy a pack of cigs is so fucking strong. I miss weed. I miss anything thats not fucking alcohol. I hate it!!! and yet#ironic my dad gave me his 30 days sober coin as a gift and now im drunk off my ass#also my ex texted me today im normal about that too. fuck that guy fr#anyway. idk. I havent showered yet tonight but I know im gonna regret it when I do. im just so sad and tired and done#its not even relapsing if ive been conisistently self harming for the past 6+++ months lmao I need to stop lying to myself. but I wont#im just tired. I want a hug. I want to stop being the one people rely on. I want to be loved without it feeling conditional#maybe I want too much and this is my punishment
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bacchuschucklefuck · 4 months
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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greasydumbfuck · 2 months
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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justblaterando · 4 months
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How any convo about aemond loosing an eye goes with the crazy people of this fandom
A “he was going to murder him, he deserves it”
B “no he didn’t”
A “he was being rude, he deserve it”
B “being rude doesn’t justify making someone disable”
A “he was going to murder him, he deserves it”
And the cycle continues
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judicent · 4 months
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Yeah, I did fill 4 sketchbooks in 4 months so far this year. Huh? Am I gonna post even an ounce of it? Well, you see, I am allergic to my phone, so you will have to come CATCH ME
#da#nooo but I am so saddd it's so much easier to show stuff off irl 😭#if it could look even halfway decent I've considered doing flip throughs of sketchbooks on video#except I draw in pencil and cameras hate that and want me to explode#idk it is truly just better to somehow gain access to my terrible trove of sketchbooks#no but man that sounds like such an ideal hang out. get all my oc lore by sitting on my floor with me as we go through the archives#gosh I should count how many I've filled up at this point#I love that the number increases exponentially as the years go on#like I think 2018 began the precedent of 4 a year minimum which was kinda wild#another ridiculous difficult project I have given a lot of thought to: combing through every sketchbook and either redrawing#or printing off important story related bits and compiling them all into a convenient binder. maybe binding them into a book.#anyway it's pretty much all a drag no matter how you slice it#come to my HOUSE and look at my CREATURES#u don't know this bc I've learned to be silly sneaky but I have stayed up wayyyy too late AGAIN#but I've scheduled this to post at a normal time so you'll never know. unless you read the tags. but that's its own punishment isn't it#hey bonus enticement to look at my boo stuff that doesn't get on the blog. there's smut. and you KNOW I'm a coward who shan't ever post that#actually we'll be lucky if I'm not the same coward in real life too#it's only Dick and Vinny. they get rights. i don't care if anyone else has sex. I don't care if I have sex.#the one song I hope I don't have sex. I hope we both don't have sex. that's actually Vinny though.#I'm more sex favorable and sex positive than he could ever be#y'know this is a very 4am convo to have and actually how prepared am I for this to live in a pm afternoon time#welp. maybe I should stop being addicted to tags and letting loose all my secrets#I shan't grow I shan't do better and I shan't ever change. this is the da promise <3
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plantenjoyer · 2 months
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I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS
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#this has been happening for like TWO YEARS BUT I SWEAR TO GOD I AM TRYING.#my usual art motivation (my webcomic idea) has been put on hold for a bit and because of that i forgort... everything#my will to draw specifically#but in my defense i have been writing k*arlach / oc indulgences and i've been VERY focused on finishing it#i also got a marketing manager (my friend <3) to help with advertising my comms and stuff so uh... look forward 2 that#i might need to start posting all of my art on a sideblog so she doesn't have to log into my main though#so there might be some changes#but i promise i want to do art!!!! but there's always something to do first and then months pass :(#or i get the urge to draw and then life is like ''have a cancer scare'' lmao...#(ended up being cancerous actually </3 but because it's skin stuff it was easy to remove)#(but that really took the piss out of me for most of july... not to mention that ffxiv released a new expansion and i have been...#having a good time with my new friends doing content and stuff!) i also made a friend irl after like 3-4 years of total isolation#we feed ants and watch them move around together and comment on their behaviour patterns...#but like when i say this takes literal hours.#we just sit out there and talk about random shit and watch ants walk across the floor. both of us hate ants btw.#like we don't like having them ON us so it's a bit like playing with fire.#but anyways yeah i've also been really low energy recently too bc of the heat and burnout from college...#but the good news is that i'm transferring in fall to a much more relaxing college & courseload!#i'm hoping it'll stop me from feeling so... awful ?? i guess ??#like i was taking classes i didn't need to that were really difficult & punishing#not to mention extremely boring & hard to pay attention to when dealing with literally anything. i did not want to be there.#my next college is much more interest-oriented so i will finally be able to take classes i want to and learn from them...!#and then maybe i will feel a bit more in control of my life / more encouraged to draw#anyways thank u for reading my ramble. hoping it all comes together soon.#i need to do a lot of work but most of it is so i can sell commissions again#but once the karlach fic is done we're so back on the webcomic train !!!!!!!!
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thirdsonofeve · 1 year
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I am a "Lalo was an important part of his cousins' childhoods"-beliver you cannot stop me. He read Marco and Leonel goodnight stories when they were toddlers, he carried little Tuco up the stairs to his room when he was sick, he got them "gay rich uncle cousin" -amounts of toys for their birthdays, he took them all to local sports events when they were a little older, he played games with them, he fell asleep with Tuco curled up into his side and a book on his stomach and he watched them grow up and he loves them more than anything. And he had to watch the twins be beaten into submission by Hector, had to watch Tuco rot his brain on drugs, had to watch the family he loves so much break itself apart until all that was left was the money. And there is more humanity left in him, although skewed and messy, than in them and he blames himself for not making them better, not making them good enough. If he had done things right Hector wouldn't have had to hurt them, if he hadn't been so soft on them they would have learned earlier and maybe, maybe they would have been okay.
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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year
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the thing about me is that I have this need to pick up every angel on supernatural by their scruff and place them into an enclosure that will allow them to, if not heal and become better, than at least to be petty and vindictive in a way that causes less death and destruction and is just kind of annoying. which I would argue is also good for them. let angels make choices where the consequences of their actions are non-existent rather than world-ending. teaches them free will in a safe, healthy way.
#this is still about Zachariah to be clear#it’s about all of them. I’m putting them all in such nice enclosures. with so much enrichment#but mostly this is about Zachariah. just kind of want to put him in an actual office and watch him whirr away. maybe he prints things.#stands at a water cooler and makes awkward small talk.#I don’t know what happens in offices. what do I look like. I don’t think he does either really. he just likes the aesthetic#he’s constantly cosplaying and it makes all the other angels slightly uncomfortable like. Okay Zach We Get It. This Is Your Businessman OC.#Can We Please Go Back To Talking About How To Stop Castiel From Breaking Containment For The Fifth Time This Month.#(my integration of old and new angel rebellion canon is per s5 all angels have the capacity to rebel. and many do. often. and are punished#for it. and also per s8 Cas just does it the most because he is so sooo annoying <3#also maybe because a combination of factors like. Anna is his boss for a lot of that time and she goes lighter on the reprogramming because#she’s already having doubts. and then also he’s paired with Uriel always. they make each other question things. but they also work#too well together for Heaven to separate them. the cost isn’t so high (yet) just toss them in the brain cleaner after each assignment#and they’re still useful.)#sorry this was supposed to be about Zachariah.#his enclosure has fax machines in it. he likes them. you know. the same way most angels like radio towers. he *likes* them.#spn#Zachariah spn
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stardust-sunset · 10 months
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my favorite thing is when my little brother claims to be sick suddenly my parents go into panic mode and are all “oh well if you don’t wanna go to school that’s fine” and “aw you can go to the nurse if you need” but then whenever i get sick it’s “stop faking, you’re not staying home” even though i’ve been coughing up mouthfuls of phlegm for the last week and i feel like straight up ass and can’t even keep my eyes open
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