#maybe a massive tmi

[vamptastic]

way some people talk about buying clothes is bonkers. you just walk into a store and shit fits you and then it lasts a long time? you're joshing me rn you're yanking my fucking chain

[th-inprogress]

I did a bunch of stupid math yesterday and figured out that I allegedly have only lost abt 1 lb since last weigh and then I weighed today and what would you know…. Almost exactly a lb less

[lovebombs4life]

corruption - l.r.h

requested: nope. thinking of this as i’m listening to music :)

cw: SMUT. oral (f), fingering, rough sex, choking, unprotected, mentions of alcohol, dom!luke, i’m a slut for luke hemmings

———

“oh come on y/n, you’re telling me that you’ve never had anything interesting happen during sex?” crystal asked. i nodded my head. we were all sitting around in luke’s living room, some of us already drunk, some of us just buzzed. i was one of the only people in the group that was single, besides luke.

“i didn’t know there were interesting things when it came to sex until like two days ago, crystal. and we all know i constantly get ghosted whenever i try and get a date.” i rambled. i looked over at luke who was across the living room. he was slightly smirking as he listened to me.

“y/n, you’re 26. genuine question that’s gonna be real tmi. has a guy ever made you cum?” brandy asked. calum’s eyes widened at her question, but he wanted to know the answer too. everyone looked to me, waiting for my response.

“well i mean.. not exactly? when ever they’d get done they’d usually leave and i’d get myself off i guess.” i said, looking down. i picked at my nails, feeling slightly embarrassed. talking about this in front of my friends was a little embarrassing, but especially because luke kept watching me.

it’d be a lie if i said that i wasn’t attracted to luke. and it would also be a lie if i said i didn’t have a massive crush on him for the past few years. or maybe since we met. at sixteen.

“oh my god. are you serious?” michael questioned. i nodded my head, not wanting to look up at anyone. i bounced my leg, trying to calm myself down.

“okay y/n, let’s get you a drink. calm down those nerves, yeah?” crystal said, standing and grabbing my hand to get a drink. she pulled me to the kitchen, making sure we were alone.

“i’m not supposed to say anything, but i swear on my life, luke has been eyeing you this whole time. michael told me the other day that luke has been crushing on you for the longest time.” she spoke. my eyes almost fell out of my head from how wide they were.

“you’re serious?” i asked. she nodded her head. “dead serious.”

i glanced around the corner seeing that luke was still watching for me. my stomach did flips seeing him. i grabbed a drink from the fridge, popping it open and taking a large sip.

once crystal and i were back in the living room, luke’s eyes went back to being glued to me. “i’ll be right back guys, im gonna get changed.” i spoke up. everyone gave an ‘okay’ as i walked up the stairs. i went to luke’s room where i had left my overnight bag.

i closed the door before slipping out of my jeans and t-shirt. i unclasped my bra, letting it fall to the ground. i threw on my large shirt i used for pj’s, and slid on a pair of shorts. i headed back down the stairs, sitting back down on the couch. crystal handed me a drink, and i thanked her as i grabbed it.

we all sat there and talked for another few hours before everyone decided it was time to head home. i headed upstairs, grabbing my bag from luke’s room, and headed to his guest room.

“i’m gonna head to bed, goodnight luke!” i called from the door before closing it. i was too caught up in getting comfortable that i didn’t realize he hadn’t answered me.

i slid my shorts off, leaving me in my black panties and large t-shirt. i got on the bed, laying on my stomach. i scrolled through my phone, before stopping on a fan account of luke. i scrolled through the photos, squeezing my legs together.

“alright there?” luke’s voice scared me. i scrambled to sit up, covering my lower half with my t shirt. i clutched onto my phone, turning it off.

“oh don’t get all shy now, y/n. you’ve been showing yourself off, talking about nothing but your sex life all night. now i come in here seeing that you’re practically drooling over pictures of me.” he spoke, getting closer to me.

i swallowed hard, pushing my phone away from me. “i don’t know what you’re talking about, luke.” i played dumb. he laughed, shaking his head at me.

“don’t act like you’re all innocent there. if i hadn’t spoken up you would’ve started touching yourself. such a dirty slut.” he teased, crawling onto the bed, towering over me.

my breath hitched, and my thighs were dripping with my arousal. “i still don’t know what you mean.” i pushed. i don’t know where this confidence was coming from, but i could tell he was trying hard not to pin me down from my lies.

“you wanna be a brat? act like you don’t want me to fuck you? thats just fine darling. you can get yourself off alone, never getting what you wanted.” he spoke lowly. he was inches away from my face. i took a deep breathe, awaiting what he was going to do next.

he lowered his head to my neck, biting and licking at my skin. i let out a soft moan, making him smirk as he left marks on me. “i don’t want to hear another noise out of your mouth unless you’re gonna be a good girl.”

“i’ll be good, want to be good for you.” i whined. he smirked, lifting my shirt over my head. the smallest things he did made me wetter by the minute. i’d never felt this way with any other partner i’ve had.

he trailed his hands up and down my body, squeezing my thighs. he found his way to my clothed heat, running his fingers softly up and down. “so wet for me, yet i’ve hardly touched you. tell me what you want, sweetheart.” i gasped at his touch, moving my hips forward.

“anything, do anything to me, please, just touch me luke.” i begged. he chuckled at my need, slipping my panties down my legs and throwing them to the side. he kissed down my thighs, licking a stripe up my pussy.

i let out a groan, wanting more. my hands made their way to his curls, pulling slightly. he moaned at the feeling while his tongue attacked my clit. “fuck, luke, feels so good, never felt this good.” i breathed, my legs already shaking.

without warning, he slid a finger in, pumping in and out of me as he licked at me. i let out a loud moan, clenching around his finger. he slid another in, curling his fingers up.

“oh shit, luke! gotta cumbaby, please, luke, make me cum!” i begged, my thighs shaking harder. “cum for me good girl, wanna taste you.” he praised.

he continued curling his fingers, lapping away at my pussy. i pulled his hair, letting myself cum on his fingers. i squeezed my thighs, slightly trapping him as he kept going.

i arched my back, feeling overwhelmed with pleasure. “f-fuck! oh god, gonna cum again!” i cried. he moaned into my heat, sending me over the edge.

he pulled away once i calmed down, sucking my juices off his fingers. he brought his lips to mine, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue.

“did so good baby, now you can say you’ve cum having sex.” he teased. i blushed at his words. “i want more of you, lu, please.” i asked.

he threw his head back at the sight of me being spread out for him. he threw his shirt off and quickly slid his pants off. i watched as he grabbed hold of his cock, pumping it a few times.

“get on your hands and your knees, pretty girl.” he directed. i did as told, lifting my ass in the air. he slid his tip in, causing me to moan at the brief feeling. he pulled back before shoving his cock fully inside. i let out a yell as he steadied himself.

i buried my face into the pillows, screaming as he pounded into me. he grabbed my hair, pulling my face up. “don’t hide those pretty moans baby. want everyone to know who’s making you feel this fuckin good.” he said as he lifted me so his chest was pressed to my back.

my head fell back onto his shoulder, gasping as he hit my g spot. his hand traveled to my throat, squeezing tightly. my eyes rolled back as i let out strangled moans.

“luke! ugh, fuck! love your cock, never want anything else!” i cried, tears falling down my cheeks. he grunted as i kissed his neck.

“i’ve wanted you, fuck, for so long, y/n, never letting you go, you’re mine.” he growled, holding onto me as he fucked into me.

i clenched myself around him, moaning at how deep he was. he moaned at the feeling, smacking my ass from the side. “gonna make me cum if you keep doing that.” he groaned.

he pressed his hand against my stomach, feeling his cock deep inside me. “feel that baby? feel my cock bulging into your stomach?” he asked, keeping his rough pace. i nodded my head, gasping for air as he fucked me.

i clenched around him again, this time not being able to stop it. “lu, gonna cum again, wanna cum on your cock.” i yelped, feeling his cock twitch at my words.

“fuck baby, go on, cum for me.” he said, holding my hips as he continued to pound into me. a scream ripped from my throat as i came, my body convulsing as he held me close.

“gonna cum baby, where you want me to-” i cut him off before he could continue. “in me, need you in me, wanna feel your cum deep in my pussy. on birth control already.” i gasped.

“fuck, such a cum slut.” he said, releasing into my pussy. i felt the hot liquid fill me up, making me moan. luke pulled out of me, leading me down to the bed.

“just one second darling.” he spoke before leaving the room. he returned with a warm wash cloth, cleaning me up. my body was still shaking, and i could feel my heart pounding.

he returned to the bed, laying with me, pulling me close. “enjoy yourself, love?” he questioned. i nodded, whimpering.

“didn’t hurt you did i?” he asked, worried. i shook my head, looking up at him. “you’ve really wanted me for a while?” i asked, hoping he meant it. he nodded, squeezing me.

“i’ve loved you since we met. wanted you for the longest time. and now im never letting you go.”

i sighed with contentment, falling asleep in his grip.

[aquaquadrant]

I was wondering if you had an estimated date of when you will post the next HTP chapter?

Like, leaving us on such a cliffhanger must be a crime! It cant be legal!

Anyways, while I wait for it, Ive decided to copy paste every chapter into a doc and mark it up color code style for all my over analyzing needs. It took me an hour but it was worth it.

Have a good week and take care :)

(This is meant to be genuine, not mean or passive aggressive, just so you know. While I indeed am anxiously awaiting Chapter 10 by highlighting the chapters on a doc like that one photo of a bible page that’s highlighted with different colors. This isn’t meant to be mean or pressuring, take your time and take care of yourself)

⬆️(Ah poo, Im an over thinker

hey there, no worries y’all- i love seeing my reader’s enthusiasm and it’s reassuring to see continued interest in the series. i’d been hoping to have BOTH of the final ‘from eden’ chapters done before summer. but i have to admit, progress on the next chapter hasn’t been as forthcoming as i’d expected, for a couple reasons.

the first is health-related. not to be too TMI, but i recently got diagnosed with crohn’s disease. my symptoms started ages ago but have really ramped up in the last couple months, and the diagnosis was a lengthy and involved process (started the hunt back in november, presumptively diagnosed after a colonoscopy in feb, definitively diagnosed when biopsies came back over spring break) and even when i was simply waiting for results, it occupied a lot of my mental capacity. and ofc it happened to line up with me turning 26 and needing new insurance, which has caused lots of delays. anyone dealing with the american health care system while chronically ill will tell you it’s a frustrating, exhausting process. as of right now, i’m still waiting to start treatment 🫠

but honestly, even more than that, the biggest thing stopping me from writing is… me? 😂 so there’s this thing that happens after i post a chapter that’s like… decision paralysis? except it’s just that sometimes, i literally can’t bring myself to start the next chapter. it’s like, i have this unfounded fear that all my writing up until this point has been some magical fluke out of my control, and i’m not capable of ‘pulling it off’ again. i guess you could call it a form of imposter syndrome (which i already encounter enough in my vet school life). it gets worse after posting something that was a particularly massive undertaking or was insanely well-received bc i’m scared i won’t be able to top it- even though the impact of storytelling is supposed to be cohesive, and it’s unrealistic for every chapter to be ‘bigger and better’ (what does that even mean?) than the last one because they serve different purposes at different points in the story. i know this, rationally, but that doesn’t stop the irrational fear of failure from making me avoid writing.

i’m not sharing this to make excuses or garner sympathy, or fish for compliments, and certainly not to make anyone feel guilty for asking about updates. i just feel like maybe this will resonate with anyone who has the same experience. and also to share hope, because despite how often this feeling rears its ugly head, i’ve still been able to push through and get back to writing- and i’m always very happy with the result. sometimes it just takes longer than i’d like (pro tip: writing on ur phone is less intimidating, tho it’s more of a pain). but in any case, the next chapter of ‘from eden’ is well underway and i still hope to have the series done before summer’s end^^

[m-ayo-o]

nsfw foot stuff + sub male below !! smut and (soft) porn link 18+

drabble based on this [explicit porn trigger warning: real people not hentai lol foot licking!!!]

ok so i'm not massive on the whole foot fetish thing [tmi: after dating a guy who was quite obsessed it got boring a little quickly]

however

(for example, from a straight afab perspective)

if a woman

can seduce a man

with her feet

of all her beautiful body parts

doesn't that mean something?

like, he can get hard and obsessive and desperate and needy

over

her feet

so desperate, in fact, that he needs to be tamed

and taught

to worship

and please

maybe after he's licked all of the sweet scented bathwater off your toes he can spread his tongue over the slender arch of your foot, then kiss your ankles, moaning desperately that he wants more

until you allow him to touch your legs, where he kisses up too quickly and you have to push him down to keep him in his place but he growls a little too aggressively and pushes up and nuzzles between your thighs and gets consumed with the wetness coating them already

your plushy thighs mesmerise him...

then he spreads you and begs

'please, please... let me touch you here'

'let me, let me, baby...'

but you don't allow him till he worships you and showers you with his horniest desires

'ok you can do it'

he sticks his tongue out immediately, shoving it inside you and around your folds, messy, dirty, eager...

[pinkanonwrites]

Thoughts on rid15 Grimlock??? Both sfw and nsfw if you feel inspired to talk about it hehe

Absolutely, Relic!!! I really really love Rid 2015 Grimlock. Grimlock always seems to be on one extreme in personality depending ont he continuity. It's either "Caveman" Grimlock (G1, Animated) or "Shakespearean" Grimlock (Cyberverse, Earthspark) with few falling between the two. And well I like each for different reasons, it's nice to see a Grimlock that sort of... straddles the line? He's not a genius, but he's not stupid either. He's just impulsive and urge-driven, which I think is a great characterization of a Dinobot.

Anyway my headcanons for Grimlock!

SFW:

He's a hugger and a cuddler, big time. And sure, maybe he should ask more often before he jumps straight to scooping you up in his arms, but it's not like he's doing it to be rude! He just gets so excited whenever he sees you that his first instinct is to bring you as close to him as possible.

He always, always, always wants you to tell him about what you're working on or doing. Whether it's a hobby or work or just an interesting book you're reading he wants you to tell him about it. Even if he doesn't always understand what you're talking about, just the fact that you're willing to share with him is really important.

He's a bit of a showoff. Not nearly as much as Sideswipe, but Grimlock does enjoy impressing you with his feats of strength. Sometimes he bites off a bit more than he can chew, usually to the result of something crashing or breaking or falling over. And he's apologetic about that part, at least! He just wants you to remember how cool and strong and handsome he is.

NSFW:

Whether he's in dino-mode or root-mode, his spike is stupidly huge, which is to be expected. Either way, you're probably not gonna be getting much of that beast in you (or any). So typically the two of you are gonna be frotting, or he's happy to let you peg his valve if you can find a sheath or strap-on big enough to be noticeable.

He's loud. Lots of growls and snarls and run-on babbling with this big sweetheart. When he gets riled up his mouth will start moving a lot faster than his mind, even if it's usually near-indecipherable strings of snarls and horny chatter. He also strikes me as a bit of a TMI guy, if he's just with the other bots he has a tendency to tell them just a teeny bit too much about your sex lives.

He's incredibly gentle with you despite his clumsiness, mainly because he is terrified of the idea of hurting you. Whether it's his clawed servos and stumbling feet in his root-mode or his massive teeth and swinging tail in his dino-mode, how small and soft you are only makes him painfully aware of how easily he could do some real damage to you. So even though he enjoys the idea of the two of you being a bit more rough in theory, you'd be hard pressed to actually get him to put that into practice. You're not another Cybertronian or Dinobot he can just wrestle around with, you're special.

[fuck-customers]

TW body shaming ig??

this was like. a year ago but shout out to the woman who said “it’s fine to get a boob job, but don’t you think you’ve taken it a bit far?”

like not to be tmi but i’m chubby but with a smallish waist and fucking,,, massive bazongers. i’m taking like. H cups. i fully could not care less if someone gets implants, but mine are Not. i started puberty pretty young and i’ve always been incredibly self-conscious about my body because of that. i have been trying to get a reduction approved by my insurance since i turned 18.

the sheer audacity to comment on someone’s body - especially someone who is just trying to do their fucking job, is insane. the audacity of commenting on a perceived medical procedure, aesthetic or otherwise, to a total stranger is insane.

it’s literally been a year and i still think about that woman, and her disgusted face and snobby-ass voice. i think i just stammered out something like, “i’m sorry” and went to cry in the walk-in freezer because it was so fucking embarrassing. the back pain and expensive bras and leering men are bad enough dude.

i now only wear baggy clothes to work because of her.

like. maybe just stfu about other people’s bodies??? jesus.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[zzzzzestforlife]

Software Engineer's Life Update

Hi friends! Things have been chaotic around here, as per usual, but I like to think I'm learning to lean into it better and take it in stride 😇

An Update on Slack 💬

Remember when I said that getting the Slack App on my phone was revolutionizing the way I work (that is, from the comfort of my bed)? YEAH, ABOUT THAT. It can also land you in an ad-hoc paired programming session five minutes after just waking up, wondering why Typescript is so weird and trying to unlearn all of your Python syntax muscle memory 🤷‍♀️ On the bright side, the session went well and we're one step closer to finally shipping this feature! 🚀

An Update on Volunteering ✌️

WELL, we were so behind that I didn't get to the project investigation I volunteered to take over from my colleague, so now he's back and taking over again — BUT WAIT, the whole project is getting deprioritized suddenly?? We're shifting the focus to squashing bugs (in our code). So I volunteer to investigate a bug last minute EVEN THOUGH WE DIDN'T COMMIT TO IT THIS SPRINT WHAT IS THE POINT OF PLANNING ANYWAY *deep breath* I ended up not needing to do anything. It was working as expected and the customer was just doing something silly. One good turn deserves another, right? 😅

An Update on Physiotherapy 💪

I booked another appointment tomorrow and I am SO excited to report all my progress — touching my toes, my improved stamina and strength, my lessening pain. It's like getting a good grade in Phys. Ed., which is the one subject that I could never master no matter how hard I tried. UNTIL NOW! Thanks to my therapist, I see that maybe it wasn't just me, but also my teachers who weren't really educating us so much as shaming us into "fitness." It's so freeing and motivating to have a growth mindset for this aspect of myself now too 🥺

💌: I was going to do a TMI themed post but this whole blog is already one massive TMI 😂 If you're somehow still reading this, just remember that oversharing is caring because your feelings and thoughts are valid and someone might hear or see them in the future and feel comforted, understood, and motivated thanks to you ☺️

[ipegchangbin]

HOLY SHIT Z WHAT THE HELL⁉️⁉️😟😟🤯🤯

NEVER HAVE I EVER READ A FIC THAT MADE MY PUSSY THROB THAT MUCH‼️‼️🤭🙁🥵🥵😳😳😱😱😱

I READ THAT THING LIKE FIVE 5️⃣🖐️🤯 TIMES AND TMI BUT I GOT OFF ON IT TOO BC DAMN WAS THAT GOOD😝😝😋😩😫‼️💕🙏💕

I WOOOOUULLDD DO LIKR A WHOLE ANALYSIS (hehe analysis 😼😼🤭😛) BUT UMMMM UR GIRL IS HIGHKEY ASS AT WORDS‼️‼️😥😰😱😭😫 LIKE POOKIE‼️😫 I LITERALLY FAILED ALL OF MY ENGLISH CLASSES BACK IN HIGHSCHOOL😀😀😀😀⁉️⁉️⁉️BUT AAAANNNYWAYS WHAY YHE HELL Z 😱😱🤯🤯

THE WRITING IS LITERALLY SO AMAZING🤩😍😝😋😋😋

WHY⁉️⁉️😡😡

WHO GAVE U THE MF RIGHT TO WRITE THIS GOOD😡⁉️⁉️⁉️😡🤬🤬😡🤬🤬😾

BUT FR POOKIE WHAT DO U PUT IN YOUR FICS BC🥴🥴🤤🤤🤤😵‍💫😵‍💫😵😵‍💫😵‼️‼️‼️

THERES BARELY ANY BOYPUSSY FICS OUT THERE WHICH IS DEVASTATING 🤬🤬🤬😓😢😩😫😡🤬

UR MY SAVIOR Z‼️‼️🥹🥹🙌💕

ALSO YOUR ART OF BOYPUSSY HANNIE IS SO FUCKINF DELICIOUS LIKE I OPENED THAT LINK AND ZOOMED RIGHT ON THAT PUSSY AND I FUCKING DROOLED‼️‼️🥴🤧🤤🤤🤤💦💦 GUESS WHO TOUCHED HERSELF WHEN SHE SAW IT❓❓❓THATS RIGJT‼️‼️ ME😻☝️💕💕💦 I NEED MY MF MOUUUTYHH ON THAT JUICY MF PUSSSAAYYYYYY‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏😫😝👅💦

READER IS MUCH BETTER THAN ME🙌🙌🤧🤧 CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULD’VE PUT THAT VIBRATOR IN HIM AND ATE THAT MF PUSSY OOOUUTTT AND SUCKED THE LIFE OUTTA THAT CLIT😝😝😛😋😋🙏🙏🙏 RIGHT AFTER HE SQUIRTED LIKE IM FR GONNA MAKE HIM SQUIRT AGAIN BUT THIS TIME IN MY MOUTH 😋😛😛😜💦💦🤪😍😍😍LIKE THIS TONGUE IS GONNA FUCKING ABUSE THAT ALREADY ABUSED CLIT EVEN MORE 👅👅💦💦‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️DID I MENTION I LOVE CLITS❓❓❓ IF NOT THEN I WILL NOW‼️‼️‼️ I LOVE CLITS‼️🙌😋 CLITS ARE SO FUCKING AMAZING‼️‼️😍😍😜😫🙌 EVERY TIME I SEE SOMETHING ABT STIMULATING A CLIT IM IMMEDIATELY BRICKED 🧱🧱🧱 UP⬆️☝️🆙👆CAUSE IF IT WERE ME I WOULDVE TIED SUNGIE UP WITH A VIBRATOR TO HIS CLIT AND LEAVE HIM THERE FOR HOOOUURRRSSS‼️♾️😝😛😫☝️😋💦 I WOULD SPEND THE WHHOLE MF DAY ON THAT DELICIOUS CLIT ‼️‼️😍😛😋🙌👅💦😽👉👌OH MY GOD I SOUND GAY ASF BUT IDC BC ITS PUSSY‼️‼️😻🫰WHO DOESNT LOVE PUSSY⁉️⁉️⁉️😾😾I LOVE PUSSY‼️‼️‼️😛😛👅😻😽🙌 I WOULD EAT HANNIES PUSSY OUT ALL DAY ALL WEEK ALL MONTH ALL YEAR ALL CENTURY‼️‼️‼️‼️😝😜😜😽 THAT PUSSY IS SO MF JUICY💦💦 WND DELICIOUS AND IS BEGGING TO GET TOUCHED‼️‼️🙌👉👌😋

anyways pookie keep up the good work, amazing writing as always!! <3 🥰🥰💕 (definitely not rereading it for the fifth time and getting off on it…nooooo definitely not… ☺️☺️)

OH YM GOD i just logged in and this is the first thing i see 😭 I FUCKING SEE U ANON‼️ u are very seen

ANON I LOVE U SO MUCH MORE WTF THE AMOUNT OF PRAISE THAT U POURED OVER THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HAS BOYPUSSY BROKEN US BECAUSE IT SEEMS AS THOUGH IT HAS 😭😭😭 GOOD LORD and to think that this was supposedly just a private gift but mei is kind and i was able to post it … NOW IM SO GLAD I SHARED IT BC U HAVE FOOD TO EAT MY DEAREST ANON 😁

“ure my savior” yo…yo dont perceive me as messiah itll inflate the shit out of my ego /j and give me impostor syndrome /hj BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS gosh i cldnt stop giggling u made my day with these compliments like im just Some Guy but because of ur words i am now Some *Happy* Guy

and omg! URE RIGHT MAYBE SHOVING THE VIBE IN AND EATING HANNIES PRETTY BOY CLIT OUT WOULDVE BEEN SO GOOD…but then again…TEASING THE BOY JUST FEELS SATISFYING ‼️‼️ i love hannie and his clit actually i love pussy in general i wish i had boypussy especially boyclit in my mouth rn (in a non sexual casual way) (which was what reader intended) (until y/n and han both went CRAZY)

i wont lie this ask gave me massive eye strain from the emojis /pos like that brings me joy ?! its an impressive thought to know that somebody out there is losing their mind over silly words i wrote and a few lines that i drew. CRAZYYYY thats crazy?!!!

ill keep this entire ask, print it into a booklet form, and reread it as if its a mini prayer guide. i cant anon ure so silly and precious HAHAHAH hope u have the nicest day always!

[nandawrites]

Divine Cruelty

Fandom: The Mortal Instruments, The Shadowhunter Chronicles

Ship: Malec (Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood)

Summary: “You are very cruel, did you know that?”

There was a startled silence on the other end of the line and Magnus realised that no, Alec didn’t know.

A/N: One of my goals for 2024 is to clear out my wip folder so I started with this one that just needed some finishing touches. I started it back in 2016 after a TMI reread and it's based on the scene where Alec calls Magnus to help them rescue Jace from Valentine's boat with some insights from The Bane Chronicles. I had plans to make it a whole long thing, but looking at it now I think it's fine the way it is.

Sorry if I confused anything from the books, I haven't reread TMI in a couple of years. But I hope you all still like it!

If you prefer, also read it on AO3!

~~**~~

“You are very cruel, did you know that?”

There was a startled silence on the other end of the line and Magnus realised that no, Alec didn’t know. He didn’t have the slightest clue what he had been doing to him, what he was doing to him right now, had no idea how Magnus felt or how much every word that left his mouth made his heart ache. Magnus felt a bolt of rage flaming up inside him, because how dare Alexander Lightwood have all this power over him and be just so damn clueless about it? He had always known the other was blatantly honest and innocent, only now he realised it wasn’t innocence, he was just plainly ignorant of everyone and everything in the world that weren’t him and that damned walking nuisance of a parabatai of his, and-

And he had to stop there because even as he thought it, he knew it wasn’t true. Alec was acutely aware of everyone around him, always there to help them. He was blatantly honest and innocent, without any shield or armour between his soul and the world; it was what had caught Magnus’ attention at first, after all. And while it was true he seemed massively ignorant of his impact on Magnus, the warlock couldn’t hold it against him, because he didn’t have any ill-intent with it. It wasn’t Alec’s fault ignorance could be just as, if not more, harmful than malice.

He passed his hand through his hair and hung his head, defeated. He was done for, he couldn’t even bear to truly stay mad at the boy for more than a few seconds. The anger was gone and all it left behind was a gaping nothingness, a dull ache of resigned sorrow and futile love. Because this is what it was, wasn’t it? The touch of angels in its purest form. Magnus had to press his knuckles against his mouth not to let out a bitter laugh.

“Magnus, I…” The voice that sounded from the other end of the line was small and uncertain and Magnus promptly cut it off, he didn’t want to think about Alec hurting when his own feelings were the ones that had just been blindly shattered.

“Don’t. Forget it. I’ll send you an address, forward it to Clary and tell her and the others to meet me there.”

“So you are helping us?” The question was hopeful, excited even, as if Magnus agreeing to help was a welcome surprise, as if Alec really thought he had presented him with a choice. Magnus knew there had never truly been any.

“Yes, I am helping you”, he responded flatly, and if he had put a bit of extra emphasis on that last word, it was lost when Alec pulled the phone away to pass the good news to Isabelle. Magnus hung up before the other had a chance to come back and start thanking him for it.

He stared down at the now black screen of his phone for a moment, feeling drained and unable to think for a while. An unwelcome memory wormed his way into his mind, a fleeting thought he had had a few weeks ago when things were calm and sweet and good and he had been foolish enough to let hope take him over.

Maybe Alexander Lightwood would not break his heart.

Yeah, right.

But now wasn’t the time to wallow in his own self-pity and foolish heart. Now he had a job to do, and a terribly important one at that. Bigger than anything he had had to deal with in the past few years. He couldn’t afford to let himself be distracted now.

Straightening himself up, he thought about what he would have to do and quickly formed a plan and a list of the things he would need to execute it. He opened his phone again and quickly typed in an address and sent it to Isabelle’s phone - trusting they would do as he had requested and pass it on to Clary -, before walking to his supplies cabinet and starting to separate what he would need.

He wasn’t thrilled about having to go against Valentine Morgenstern yet again, but if he could in any way be thankful for the fact a psychopathic maniac was planning to destroy the city, he would. Because at least it gave him something to do, a purpose, it allowed him to slip into a different mindset and just forget about his own problems for a while.

Right now, the High Warlock of Brooklyn was needed.

Magnus Bane and all the cruel angels that owned him would just have to wait.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Not to be overly tmi but mild rant about endo and not being consistent with replies across platforms under cut.

Tdlr- Ceth's really sick again.

I've been bleeding since like Friday and I'm starting to be a bit concerned with the amount of blood I'm actually losing. I'm having that massive period at the end of a severe endometriosis flair up that was triggered around Easter. It's a bit um...much?

Just got over a migraine but the sleeping I needed to do for that had me bleeding through everything about 3 times so just like...I can't sleep right atm and I'm concerned it could trigger a seizure. Let's not even mention the pain I'm in during this. I have retriggered a vascular burn on my back from how hot I've needed these heating packs...and tbh I'm not happy with having to be high on pain meds. Even if cannabis helps better than anything. I'm just tired.

Going to the doctor soon but urg. It's astounding how few of my body parts work! So naturally I'm overwhelmed and a bit concerned with hourly bleeds so I'm being sporadic on here again. Will post art wips but maybe less replies etc until I get actual spoons.

[ace-the-fox]

alright I just thought of something…

what about howdy mpreg headcanons? How would that go down?

just curious 😊😊😊😊

(AAAAAAA, SORRY, I PUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS AND FORGOT ABOUT IT FOR A HOT SECOND 😭)

Awww, that sounds so cute ngl!! Here, you are!

Howdy Pillar Mpreg HCs

He gets the worst case of pregnancy fatigue. He's so sleepy, even before he realised he was having a baby (it was kinda the first thing to really tip him off). Once or twice, the neighbours have walked into the bugdego and he's been asleep at the desk.

However, the neighbours do pitch in to help in the shop a lot as Howdy's pregnancy goes on (and probably after the baby's born too). It's the first proper break he's had in a while lol!

That being said, I can see that premise being used as a goofy premise where whoever it is tries to help but hijinks ensue and they realise why Howdy is in charge of the bugdego in the first place

Though, of course, everyone in the neighbourhood tries to lend a helping hand in Howdy's very sensitive time, he often finds himself going to Polly for any worries or vents. Her presence is just very comforting.

Frank is the most curious about it all, the butterfly enthusiast he is (bc, you know, caterpillars turn into butterflies). He has so many questions. Maybe even a couple a little TMI. Idk, Frank being really curious about Howdy is one of my favourite headcanons overall lol.

He ends up craving a lot of fruit. Apples, oranges, strawberries, etc. Overall, he just generally gets a massive sweet tooth.

Barnaby gets him "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" as a baby shower gag gift 💀

Also, pls, just imagine for me, Howdy doing his usual work in the shop with his baby bug in one of those lil baby carriers. Come to the bugdego for your weekly shop, stay for the cute baby. (Bonus: with twins, he's got one on his front and on his back <3)

[lightbulb-warning]

[MAJORLY uncoherent anecdotal storytine:]

entertainment value: mild

cw: blood exams (not described in detail), vague mentions to struggles that aren't elaborated on, tmi personal rambling written by someone who is loopy from blood loss aka bad grammar/syntax/morphology/yeah also this got long whoops

im feeling mega loopy cuz blood exam (dundnt faint!! how outstanding of me. iamcurrently instanding. batumtssk!!i lie down now.)

but AT the blood exam a newer nurse stopped by and my usual nurse was like "PIVELLA meet [redacted <- (me. im redacted.)] this kid is a STAPLE in this department bla bla" and wow mom look im famius!! it only took me getting my blood displaced and stared at medically and faintinf a lot very often hshahahaah

the usual nurse is so NICE she's been doing my blood check traslocations since ive been like 15 i think maybe earlier?? idk idk i love her she's so nice and a kickass lady and she bullies all her coworkers and also me a lot!!! bully as in teasing she's nice yeah anyway yeah

me having to get my blood checked often is really inconvenient and kinda sucks!!! because i get koed and fuck if i can do anything for the next 24hs blegh but but BUT this lady has seen my grow up and seenbthe fuck up my life became and is seeing me pick up the peices abd whenever she sees me in the waiting room she shouts "its YOU" very dramatically and the staff has inside jokes about me and my dumv unoptimezed blood stats and thats REALLY NICE SOBS

like i dont wanna make a fable moral out of it like live love kaugh kindess uwu because realistacally, when i was fucked up previously (in the way that was bad compared to how i am fucked up now. funny joke. laugh.) i didn't gove two shits about people being nice to me because i was a massive hater and hated myself most (loser behavior!!!! the world hates you already love yourself out of SPITE!!!!!!!!!!) so people going out of their way to make a horrible situation slightly less horrible for me COMPLETELY went over my head "broom broom autopilot kill crush destroy ourselves!!!" (<- that's what my head looked like.ew there's no whimsy and silly in there, gross!! jk baby me gets the reatroactive love myself treatment bc noone els ecan do that for me!! what was i saying) and yeah i wasn't neurobiologically capable of giving two shits about anything, especially some random nurse going out of her way to crack jokes but idk i appreciated now!!! and she realizes i appreciate it now!!! and it's nothing big or grandiose i guess the world is still turning and nothing in the essential state of things changes bc i did a navelgazey testimony of WOW SOMETIMES THINGS CAN BE OKAY OCASSIONALLY HOLY SHIT?? but also!!! if i don't do it!!!!!!! who will!!???????

aesop would prolly write about foxes and grapes and terracotta pottery and crows and things being okay with time, but ME, a certified "just some guy", is gonna ramble about " it's gonna be okay" semantics because its!! been!! bullshit!! BUT THAT'S OKAY!!!!

shit got SO MUCH worse than what i could've imagined in my catastrophation!!!!!! id wasted my life preparing and planning for all the plans Ds and Gs and Js and Zs because my situation was FUCKED and i didn't have power to fix it, and too bad!!! SHIT HAPPENS AND IT SUCKS!!! time isn't gonna fix SHIT!!!!!! time is just a tracker of when!!! time does no good time does no harm!!!! what time did give my stupid fucking idiot idiot lovely self was time to change!!! not in just "omg change your perspective ✨" (which can be really really really important!! but you shouldn't take anyone's shit just because you see their perspective!!!! no you don't deserve to be treated like shit!!!!!! they don't deserve to get away with treating anyone like shit!!!!! what makes you so special that the world's evil needs to converge upon you?? you're just some guy!! they're just some guy!!! you be nice to you!!)

time is just there!! what does get okay with time is being!!! your enemy is no longer gonna cause you stress once you outlive them!!! you can be better than your yesterday self at any time!!! life goes on if you fuck up everything and you CAN do whatever you want with the peices!!! FAIL!!! FEAR!!! if we're scared we do it scared!!! it's not gonna be okay because its gonna be perfect, it's gonna be okay because it CAN be different!!

im still not """""fixed""""" , im still screwing things up and i still don't really understand what exactly is """""wrong""""" with me and that's okay for now, and hey!! i am capable of having a nice interaction with someone!!!! that's progress.

massive tangent lmao

local tumblr user gets some blood consensually stolen, has a positive interaction with someone, goes home and starts preaching at [unidentified recipient] jesus fucking christ maiora go to sleep this isn't the time for monologues

tl;dr: someone was nice to me just to be nice and im happy because i wouldn't have been able to appreciate it previously and it's nice to see people being nice for the sake of it

im nap now buh bye thanks for reading have a night or day!!!! be nice to you i can't do that for you!!! /lh

<3

[the2amrevolution]

I think I've figured out some of the trailer. What it means for the album's content, idk, I'm not speculating on that, so if you're like "ah album spoilers," theres none of that here.

I Am Ground = Korean song-game where you introduce yourself one by one to a specific rhythm

Introduce themselves = Introduce their discography

Felix -  The Sound

• Candy/lollipops = White Day videos

• Conductor = Band/Chans role in trailer

• Ghost print glove = Scars? Re-released on album

I.N - SKZ Replay

• Starts out on a pedestal

• Literally writes his name over "ground"

• In a heavenly setting

• All = Maknae on Top

Changbin - Maxident

• New York set decor = Maxident trailer

• "I'm a romantic" = Case 143

• Water scene = Chill

• No tmi given over the phone?

• Rebellion = Superboard?

• Poker night sticker on phone booth = reference to All In? Or just coincidence? Nothing that jumps out for Circus so 🤷‍♀️

Hyunjin - Circus

• 644 = 06/22/22, release date

• Big cat print = Circus animals

• Mannequin audience = Circus crowd

Han - Oddinary

• Train = train crossing sound in Oddinary trailer bgm

• Train becomes magical (old fashioned steam engine look like HP train) = Oddinary trailer was all pop culture references

• Train is green and red = main promo colors

• "this isn't it? then I won't do it" = "do you want to be oddinary?"

• "This [billboard example/career/success/history/discography] isn't what it is to be [oddinary/normal]? Then I dont want to be [oddinary/normal]." What the antecedents are for Han's sentence is deliberately vague.

Seungmin - Noeasy

• Drive in movie w/popcorn = seeing a summer blockbuster, noeasy trailer insp

• "Looks like I win" = Beat the sound monster

• Sitting in the shovel of a bulldozer with a backhoe = Domino lyrics, though also seen in GoLive trailer/Gods Menu

Chan - GoLive and InLife

• Clocks/metronome, anxious speed, chaotic sound = tortoise and hare, go生 also rapid increase in fame

• Bit of domino intro is heard as piano starts, but also in other members parts

• 5:88 not being a realistic time display, can have meaning of "twin flames" in numerology as well as a turning point and prosperity = God's Menu and Back Door paired plus God's Menu massive impact on their following/success

• Black and white pianos both played and lit on fire = Twin albums

• 0:58 = five star Michelin and 8 members

• Always viewing from either above or behind on stage not audience = Back Door

• Ends wearing mask = unit song Wow, maybe others from InLife also, idk, first shown on tour right before pandemic,

• Performs and bows to empty audience = couldn't tour or promo songs with live audience due to pandemic

Lee Know - SKZ 2020 and SKZ 2021

• Grimy, literally in the toilet = Negative emotions/uncertainty

• Suitcase = moving on

• Looking in mirror = insecurity, reflecting on past, also song Mirror

• Mouth wash = cleaning self of "bad tastes," refreshing ones self

• "I'm cute." = overcoming insecurities, self confidence

• Getting scanned by faceless security = Increased scrutiny from faceless public

• Attitude/eyeroll to security/baring (jeweled) teeth = "you think we can't succeed? That doesn't matter. We are succeeding."

End with all 8 - 5 Star

• Together having warm tones when separate they were cool/grey = best together

• Fireworks, walking down the side of a building covered in caution tape = "let's blow this place up"

• We know the lyrics "five star Michelin" were an error Han made, but most star rating systems are out of five. Its also their 5th year, and celebrating multiples of five is a big deal for our base 10 mathematics selves (math/history trivia: most cultures have always used base 10 systems because we have 10 fingers). An obvious thing, but still.

[ifbrd]

I don’t think we take enough time to appreciate how damn smart Becky has to be in order to be a “living dictionary” and know every word in the English language.

Because, yeah, on the one hand, that’s her super power, on the other hand, knowing all those words require extreme intelligence and comprehension for her age in subjects beyond simply vocabulary.

In order to be a “living dictionary” you have to not only have memorized the definition, but understand how to use it and be able to give examples as she often does. You have to not just know what the word means, but comprehend what the word means in context. This doesn’t seem like a big deal when she’s defining words like “devotion” and “realize,” but if she knows every word in the English language, that also means she knows words that are specific to say, advance sciences. Which means in order to be able to define those words in advance science, she has to comprehend them. Maybe not completely, but certainly more than I do as a 25 year old adult. She maybe doesn’t have to understand these terms in practice, because she’s in 5th grade and probably not being exposed to how those words and concepts are used in practice, but she knows them on the theoretical level. She has basic knowledge and understanding in these subjects just doesn’t have the skills for them (yet. because my god would this give you a massive jump start to learning how to apply these concepts in practice)

I mean for crying out loud, she can check out a book on advanced mechanics and fix her computer space ship, presumably with only Huggy’s help. In the potato fueled robot episode (I don’t remember the name), she was able to build Tobey’s robot from his blueprints, like it seemed clear to me that he designed the robot and got it down onto blueprints, but she built the thing because she has super strength and super speed and could get it done quickly, but also because she had enough know how in this subject to be able to execute his blueprints.

And sorry if this one is too tmi, but she probably doesn’t even have to have “the talk” with her parents, at least from a biological perspective. She probably already knows scientifically how all that works. I can just picture her mom sitting down with her for the “birds and the bees” and Becky just being like “that’s okay, mom, I already know how all that works,” and going back to her book. Again, she’ll still need her mom to have the talk with her from an emotional standpoint of the conversation, because simple definitions won’t help you understand that, but she already knows basic facts of it.

And I keep using science as an example, but this applies to other subjects as well. She likely knows terms used only in advanced mathematics and again can understand them in theory and just needs to learn them in practice. She likely knows words relating to other cultures and therefore would have a bit of a broader understanding of other cultures than her peers (and being raised by the Botsfords who teach her compassion also greatly helps with this one). She likely already knows the rules to almost any sport, just may not know the tactics used to exceed in the sports if she’s never played them. She probably has an advanced understanding of mental health compared to her peers. Also consider how childlike and innocent she is, a fairly normal amount for her age, which is extremely impressive and shows high levels of emotional intelligence since she likely also knows some darker words that a child her age should never know about (and I’m not talking about swear words. (but on a funnier note, she totally has the knowledge to swear like a sailor and simply chooses not to and I can’t help but think how funny it would be if as she gets older, she slowly gets more and more done with everyone’s BS and starts swearing all the time, just never around kids, WordGirl doesn’t need that kind of reputation!)) and having a high emotional intelligence is the only way you could possibly process such disturbing definitions at such a young age and still be able to keep a fair amount of innocence.

And this also further explains her relationship to art and music. I believe Becky has stated she’s read every art book she can get her hands on and still doesn’t understand it. She knows all the terminology in the subjects of art and music, quite possibly she knows the terms, concepts, and “rules” better than Violet. She has all the artistic and musical knowledge, but the knowledge is not enough, you also have to be able to develop the skills to use that knowledge to create art. Whereas Violet is just the opposite regarding art. She has the skills and knows how to apply them to create something beautiful, but may or may not know about color theory, spacing, value, etc. Like I think she knows how to use them, but I’m not sure she’s learned about the terms themselves if that makes sense? Like she’s probably observed on her own that using darker values makes a piece seem more intense and using lighter values makes it seem more peaceful but might not have learned about values in drawing or painting. She’s probably observed that certain colors look good together and others don’t, but maybe hasn’t learned about the concepts of color theory and why certain colors work and others don’t. Or if Violet does know about them, Becky has probably researched it more, and understands these concepts from a factual standpoint better than Violet does, but Becky simply lacks the skills to apply them like Violet has.

I genuinely think she could beat Victoria Best in every school subject (except the creative ones obviously) and the only reason she doesn’t is because 1. Becky is passionate about words, so when she is focusing on school work, she’s probably spending more time on reading and writing than other subjects and2. Her parents encourage her to have fun in her life while Victoria’s only care about her being the best at everything, and therefore Victoria is dedicating a lot more of her time to school than Becky. Again Becky’s advantage with understanding words give her the factual knowledge advantage, but not the skills and applied knowledge that comes with learning how to use these concepts in the real world, but since Victoria is trying to be the best for her parents, Victoria is likely taking the time to understand the things she learns not just factually, but on an application level as well, something Becky is probably doing too, but not to the same extent due to a healthier family life. If nothing else this helps Becky be ahead of many of her peers, because she already will understand the basic factual stuff from all the words she knows, and won’t have to spend as much time understanding that part, and can spend more of her studying time learning how to apply these concepts.

Bottom line is that overall, Becky is an unsettlingly advanced, knowledgeable and intelligent child. She has to be in order to comprehend every word in the English language enough to be a living dictionary.

[thespieswholovedme]

TMI Tuesday: "Charlie, FMK with Kingsman, Statesmen + MI6 - Spill. that. tea."

//This is from a while ago but here we go!

"Alright, I'll bite... let's make sure I can remember everyone..."

Kingsman:

Galahad / Harry Hart - Marry, he's so gorgeous and adorable, also quite commanding though.

Galahad / Eggsy - I mean he's young but I definitely wouldn't kill him so.... shag.

Merlin / Hamish - Marry, for very different reasons than Harry... I mean if you're married you get to do it all the time right?

Arthur / Chester - Kill Kill Kill Kill

Lancelot / Roxy - I mean if I have to save a ladies life by marrying her or shagging her then of course I'll have to marry her.

Cador / James - No matter what Sora says I'd still marry or shag him, he's gorgeous and beneath all that charm there's a good heart.

Tristan / Arty - Shag, god can you imagine marrying Arty? It'd be like marrying a younger brother!

Alundyne / Indy - Again to save a ladies life I'm definitely going to... wait actually I don't think I would want to marry Indy... she's trouble so maybe just the shag.

Statesman:

Scotch / Sora - Marry, marry, marry, marry. I mean we already are practically married, she's my work wifey. Why not make it official.

Gin / Joe - ¬¬ Sora's going to kill me... but shag.

Tequila - I mean he's hot right, he looks kind of dorky but also massively muscly.... shag

Whisky / Ginger - Marry.

Whisky / Jack - Kill

Champagne / Champ - Marry

MI6:

007 / James Bond - I just don't think he's very attractive... and I don't think I've interacted enough with him to save him... kill.

007 / Nomi - To save a ladies life, thousand percent marry her.

Q / Ben - Oh gosh he's adorable, marry but only to save his life.

M / Gareth Mallory - I mean Maria loves him, and the things she's told me... I sort of get it a little bit but not a lot. He's got nothing on Merlin so I suppose shag, I don't want to kill him after all.

M / Olivia Mansfield - Marry

Moneypenny - Marry, have you seen her when she's in action?

Bill Tanner - He's pretty adorable but I don't know about marry so shag.

George Finley - I met him once at a party and he's got the look of Harry, a bit fuller in the face though, but he's far quieter and almost softer. I think I'd probably marry him.

003 / Hugo - If what Sora and Maria have told me is anything to go on.... kill him.