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pradaksj · 3 years

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Safety Net || part one. (m.)

↳do not repost, translate, or claim as your own.

❧ summary ⟶ on new year’s eve, you and jungkook reflect on each other’s entire year together.

❧ pairing⟶ jungkook/reader

❧ genre⟶ enemies to friends, friends to lovers, roommates au, fluff, angst, pining, eventual smut, boxer!jungkook. two-part series.

❧ word count ⟶ 24,000+

❧ warnings ⟶ mentions of oral and sex but nothing explicit or descriptive. fight scene that involves drunk man. mentions of bullying (in the past).

❧ music⟶ safety net, selfish, stuck on you, exile, +more

❧ a/n (please read) ⟶ this story switches a lot from past & present, I color coded borders to make it easier to tell :) dark purple = entering/still in the past, light purple= present, also this is unedited so sorry for any mistakes 😭 ill come back to edit a lot of things soon.

01 | 02

“Oh perfect, y/n!” Hobi stops you dead in your tracks before you could completely make your way onto the living room, “You don’t mind grabbing some more firewood from my car while I finish these up,” he says, currently too busy melting the chocolate for the s’mores he was making.

You see tonight was New Year’s Eve, and you and a couple of other close friends had decided to rent out a cabin in celebration of the new year instead of going out to some end of the year party, choosing comfort over a night of wild drinking. In the end it didn’t make much of a difference, because the moment you saw Jimin and Taehyung walk in with a pack of soju and other cheap liquor in their hands, you knew that by the end of the night someone, if not everyone, was going to end up completely wasted.

And of course, you were right. After hours of being outside in the cold, with the boys drinking as if there was no tomorrow, everyone had now made their way back inside, complaining that it was too cold outside and that the cabin came with an indoor fireplace for a reason.

Never one to drink too heavy, you had kept your drinking at a moderate pace, only allowing yourself to reach a relaxed kind of buzz. Namjoon and Yoongi on the other hand were currently debating on whether the US’s landing of the moon was nothing more than a fake ploy to beat Russia and was instead filmed on some movie set.

Jin and his girlfriend acted as measly facilitators between the two men who had been bickering back and forth for the past hour, their slurred speeches making it difficult to take either one seriously.

Jimin, for his part, had attempted to keep his drinking at a minimal but with Taehyung acting as his partner in crime, the two were now playing an unbalanced game of ping-pong, both of them looking as if at any moment they were going to knock out on the table. And Jungkook was— well where the hell was Jungkook?

But before you could dwell too much on the thought, Hobi’s voice snaps you back to reality, “pleaseeee, I’ll even add an extra chocolate square to your s’more, just like how always like em,” he flashes you a smile, your roommate of 3, going on 4, years knowing just what to say to convince you, not that you needed much of it.

Minus Hobi, you were probably the person closest to being sober, and you did not want to imagine the different disastrous scenarios that would happen if he sent anyone who wasn’t yourself out there. You also highly doubted any of them would even be up for it, and so with that you just let out a small groan, mumbling, “Where are your keys?”

Excitedly he points to the kitchen island, where his Hyundai’s keys laid across, “I parked right near the lake,” he says, immediately causing you to look back at him, brows furrowed in confusion, “No one wanted to carry the wood from here to the bonfire earlier, so I just parked near the lake to save our energy,” you roll your eyes, “Come on, it’s just a 2 minute walk at most, and I’m sure there’s still people celebrating across the lake as well so you don’t feel so scared, but if you want I can ask Jungkook to go wi—”

“It’s fine, it’s fine—” you interrupt, grabbing the keys and beginning to make your way out, quickly putting on your coat because God knew how cold it was outside. “He’s probably asleep already, knowing him,” you chuckle, the boy who Hobi had introduced you to in the last year and had been living with you two as well, had habit’s that were all too predictable by now. And though you knew he’d be more than glad to get up from bed and help, for now at least, you wanted him to rest as he, himself, was probably tired from carrying things back and forth all day in the help of preparing everything. “I’ll be quick,” you say.

“Make sure that no wooden splinter cuts you,” he shouts out before the wooden door closes, having been the victim to such cuts all day, “and call me if you find it too heavy!”

Beep. Beep.

Double clicking the lock button, you grunt as you try to simultaneously carry the uneven pieces of firewood and place Hobi’s keys back into your jacket’s pocket.

“Oh my God—” you mumble to yourself, frustrated by the lack of cooperation from the keys. The wood was now slipping from your hands, its gritty texture eager to leave you a cut and as predicted it does.

Wincing in pain, you uncaringly drop the pieces of wood, worried more about the cut on your hand than what had fallen on the ground below. Luckily the cut wasn’t too bad, nothing a little soap and water couldn’t fix, but the tingly sting in your hand meant that you’d have to wait a while before picking the wooden pieces back up.

Around you, you could hear the sound of different groups of friends and family celebrating with their own events, spotting different bonfires all around the lake. Glancing at the time on your phone, it currently read 11:00, only one more hour until the new year. A part of you was tempted to walk further down the path that led to the lake’s shore. Maybe even secretly wait so that you could watch the fireworks these groups of people most likely had shoot up into the sky at 12. Especially because you knew going back to the cabin, no one would want to come back out with you to watch. Honestly, how bad did they need their wood?

And so by convincing yourself, you begin to walk further towards the lake, careful not to trip on any of the scattered rocks that surround you. By the time you made it down, you were surprised to see just how far you were from other families, most, if not all, of them being directly across the lake. Honestly you wouldn’t have preferred it any other way.

You didn’t want to seem creepy, but the sight was somewhat comforting, the kids running around in their winter gear while their parents and friends all surrounded their bonfire, sticks and marshmallows in hand.

Not to mention that tonight was a full moon, the milky glow from the moonlight reflecting against the ripples of the lake, and the tiny stars which surrounded the magnet that was the moon only adding to the grand scenery in front of you. Usually you weren’t a sucker for these kinds of things, but wow did it look amazing. The person who’d really enjoy something like this was probably—

“Jungkook,” you breathe out, confused if you were seeing things because there he was, not too far from where you stood, sitting on a giant rock with his feet dangling, careful to not touch the freezing water. His right hand throwing the small pebbles that were near him to the lake. Not too hard, and not too soft. Clearly in his own world.

A small smile graces your lips, as you watch him continue, the lake not being the only thing the moonlight was hitting. His glimmering doe shaped eyes focused on the view in front of him, and you could only wonder what had him in such deep thought, but instead not wanting to bother, you slowly began to walk back, careful to not to make any loud noises.

One Step. Two Steps. Three Steps. Crrreaaak.

Mentally, you groan at the sound of the branch breaking, hoping that it wasn’t loud enough for him to hear.

“Y/N?” he says unsurely, his attention snapping towards the sound, squinting while trying to make out your figure from afar. Your tensed shoulders drop in response. Deciding that there wasn’t much you could do, you turn around and walk towards him, feeling a little guilty that you’ve probably interrupted his time alone.

He watches as you make your way towards him, scooting to his left in order to make space for you because unbeknown to you, he was not at all bothered by your presence. In fact, he had just been thinking about you along with a question that had been looming over his head for quite some time. And the fact that you somehow managed to appear in this exact moment, almost as if it was fate, only left him in further awe.

“I thought you were asleep,” you chuckle, gently sitting down on the empty spot next to him, slowly rubbing your slightly cut hands together in an attempt to stay warm.

“I was going to sleep, but,” he pauses, “I just couldn’t,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair, “and well why waste such a good view by being in bed, am I right?,” he laughs before quickly noticing the fresh scar on your hand, “What happened?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing in concern.

You shrug your shoulders in response, “I came to grab some more firewood from Hobi’s car and well long story short, I dropped them and well I got left with this,” you laugh, not taking your tiny injury too seriously.

Opening up your hand to further show him, he carefully examines the pinkish-red scar which was now slightly swollen, sighing in disappointment, “Mm you should’ve gone to go get it disinfected,” he mumbles, slightly shaking his head as he decides that he wasn’t going to lecture you any further, for in the past year he’s learned that even someone as sweet as you, has their own buttons capable of being pushed.

Having pushed them many, many times before, tonight he just wanted you to feel relaxed and not have to worry about whether he’d say the wrong thing or not. Tonight… well tonight he just wanted for you to seek comfort in his presence, the same way he’d found comfort in yours along the way.

“It doesn’t hurt too much if I’m being honest,” you give him a small reassuring smile, if anything your hands felt more clammy than they did pain. The warm feeling in your chest only expanding to the point where you swore you could feel it at the bottom of your toes.

Honestly, it was a feeling you found yourself all too familiar with these days, and though you knew what it was, you were also unsure on how to act on it, fearful of ruining the friendship with Jungkook that had gone through several ups and downs this year. And so for you the easiest thing to do was to just avoid thinking about it and avoid talking about it.

But there was no denying that the rush of emotions you’d feel whenever you managed to crack a laugh out of Jungkook to the point where his nose would scrunch so high up that you were sure that those happy days would last forever, or the ticklish butterflies you’d feel in your stomach on movie nights where he’d randomly begin to twirl your hair with his fingers, and the rapid heartbeat you’d feel hitting against your chest after an argument over something so trivial, until of course after several days of the silent treatment, one of you would get over themselves and stubbornly apologize whether it be through words or actions, were nothing but love.

Because even in the good and bad of your friendship, the arguments and the laughs, the tears and the smiles, somehow along the way you had found yourself falling in love with the boy who was nothing more than a stranger a year ago today.

“50 more minutes,” he says under his breath, bringing you back to reality.

Awkwardly you smile, “Yeah…” you breathe, the cold crisp weather causing vapor to come out of your mouth, a sign that you were freezing despite having such a thick sweater on. Jungkook is quick to take notice, offering his own puffy jacket for you to wear, to which you quickly refuse, “Take it, I have a sweater underneath anyway,” he pressures. You find it doubtful that his black cotton turtleneck was going to be sufficient enough for him in this weather.

You giggle at his sweet gesture, finding it all too endearing, “I’m telling you I’m good,” you laugh, your shivering fingers telling a different story, “Until the clock strikes twelve at least,” you bargain, pushing the sweater in his hand away back towards him, “then I’ll go back to the warm cabin.”

He looks at you as if unconvinced, but decides to drop it and take your word for it. And if you somehow managed to weasel into staying any longer past 12, then he’d just have to forcefully carry you back to the cabin.

Soon a comfortable silence fills the air, the two of you appreciating not only the view but each other’s presence. How fitting was it that the person you met on New Year’s day last year was going to be the person you ended it with, and begin a whole ‘nother year with.

“Can you believe it’s been one whole year since we’ve met,” he suddenly breaks the silence, almost as if reading your mind. To that you let out a small breathy chuckle, in disbelief yourself. Time had gone both so slow and fast this year, it was fascinating really, how you could be both so aware and unaware that someone’s very own existence was beginning to take such a special place in your heart.

“It feels like,” you pause momentarily, a small gentle smile appearing on your face as you remembered your first encounter with Jungkook, not knowing that it’d only be the beginning to the originally rocky relationship you had with him, “It feels like it was only yesterday.”

December 31, 2018.

New Years Eve.

11:00 PM.

“Only one hour left until the new year everybody!” the DJ shouts onto his mic and over the blasting music of the party you were currently at, “Make sure you grab that special somebody before the clock strikes 12!”

“You heard him y/n, go grab a special somebody,” Hobi teases, the two of you currently sitting at the bar acting as mere spectators to the group of partygoers that were currently having the time of their life on the dance floor.

For both you and Hobi, this type of setting was a little… how could you describe it … out of place for the two of you, but after weeks of begging from both Jimin and Taehyung and a little added pressure from Namjoon and Yoongi, the two of you now found yourselves here drinking the final night of 2018 away.

“Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny,” you playfully roll your eyes, grabbing the shot glass full of tequila and downing the surprisingly smooth liquor. Hobi follows suit and chugs down his own. A squirmful look on his face following soon after. “Maybe if I drink enough, I’ll find myself dancing just like them,” you laugh, glancing at your group of friends who were currently acting as the life of the party, Jimin busting out what he calls his most “exclusive” moves.

Hobi, unlike him, remains silent which catches your attention. His attention was now on his phone, his face now appearing both red and stressed out. Nosily, you stretch your neck and attempt to peak at what could possibly have your roommate so worried, but Hobi’s quick to catch you. Immediately he pulls his phone towards his chest.

You gasp in dramatic fashion because one, your roommate wasn’t one to keep secrets from you, and two, well you were beginning to feel a little tipsy. “Now what could Jung Hoseok be hiding,” your words come out slightly slurred, a sign that the only thing you should be drinking from this point onward was some water.

“I’m not hiding anything,” he’s quick to respond, back on his phone but this time keeping it out of your reach, his fingers quickly tapping against the glass screen. You could only wonder who it was that had him typing as if his life depended on it.

“Come onnnnn,” you sing, playfully pushing his shoulder, “It can’t be that interesting, considering you don’t do much,” you pout. He looks up from his phone for a moment, but only to shoot you a glare, excusing your teasing with the fact that you were barely holding onto the state of being tipsy and on the brink of being considered drunk.

Hobi’s eyes quickly read the most recent text he’s received, rolling his eyes at whatever it was before sighing in distress, “You really wanna know?” eagerly you nod your head yes, “Well I was hoping he would be here so I could introduce you to him,” he gently shakes his head, clearly disappointed by tonight’s outcome.

“Ooooo who's the special person,” you quirk your brows up and down, but Hobi’s quick to shoot the idea down.

“Oh no, no, it’s not like that,” he laughs, “this person is a..” he pauses, trying to look for the best word to describe his relationship with said person, “Mm I guess we can call him a childhood friend,” he hums, “and well he’s been going through a bit of a tough time right now and well long before me and you ever met, he went out of his way to help me and well I think this time it’s only right that I’m there for him.” you tilt your head, slightly confused as to where this was going, “And sooo,” he sings, “I was hoping that by bringing you here and having you in a fun mood, that I could ask if he could stay at our place for a couple of months…”

You remain silent, Hobi’s words processing through your head one by one, an effect of the alcohol currently running through your system, “Only until he gets used to being in Seoul again, and finds some kind of solid ground here of course,” Hobi throws it in, worried that your silence meant rejection.

“Oh…” you mumble, thinking to yourself for a moment. Hobi’s friend huh? Well you and Hobi were like two peas in a pod, meaning whoever was a friend of his, was a friend of yours, point blank. You trusted that whoever this friend was, and whatever predicament they were in, chose to go to Hobi for the sole reason that Hobi was one of, if not the kindest person you’ve ever met, and was one of the very rare kind of people who made sure that whatever it was a person was going through, that they found a way to overcome it. And well you also assume that Hobi was going to take care of this person’s expenses … right?

You smile once you reach a decision, “Of course they can stay Hobi,” you laugh, a little offended that he thought you’d say no, but glad that he asked anyway.

Immediately Hobi breathes a sigh of relief, glad that he got that out of the way, “But he’s using your bathroom, make sure you tell him that!” you throw in, not wanting the order in which you had your things arranged to be touched with.

Hobi laughs in response, “I’ll make sure to tell Jungkook that,” so that was his name, Jungkook. Not too much of a common name in Korea, interesting, you think.

“So when do I get to meet our new temporary roommate?” you ask in eagerness, curiosity a driving force.

Hobi sighs recalling his text from not too long ago, “Well he was supposed to come here and celebrate tonight, giving you two a chance to meet beforehand, but,” he rereads the message on his phone, hoping the three bubbles would pop up at some point before scoffing and ultimately giving up, locking the screen, “I’m not entirely too sure if he’s going to make it.”

Shrugging your shoulders, you get up from the bar stool and stretch out your arms, yawning in turn, “Mm well I guess I’ll just meet him on move in day,” you joke around, glancing at the time on your phone, “but for now I need to go pee before the countdown, there’s only like 10 minutes left,” you exclaim, surprised by how fast the hour had gone by. Hobi nods in response, getting up himself and making his way to the dance floor, joining your group of friends.

And so you begin to walk towards the ladies’ room, humming yourself a tune over the EDM music that was currently close to rupturing your eardrum. How people liked this kind of music was something you’d never understand, but to each their own right? Luckily you weren’t as drunk as you thought you were, the effects of the tequila only acting as something quick and not long lasting. Now in more of a buzzed state than “drunk”.

“MmmMmmMmm,” you hum, pushing the door of the ladies room and making your way into one of the stalls. But what you saw once you opened the restroom stall was … um …. it was safe to say that you were shocked at the sight in front of you. Shocked to the point where you couldn’t even properly react, not even a shriek coming out of your mouth.

Instead you just stood there, wide eyed, at the sight of a brown haired woman on her knees, with her hair in a messy ponytail giving um … oral … on what you could only describe as a very very handsome man.

Now if you were to ask if he was really all that into it? Well it seemed a bit unclear considering how the two of you were now having a complete stare down, a shocked expression on your face while he had a stoic one on his, until slowly a small smirk began to appear on his face.

He scoffs before saying, “Enjoying the view?” and with that you finally shriek and quickly close the stall dorm, practically running out the door because not only were you embarrassed by the situation that just happened but still in complete shock.

“Oh my God,” you breathe out, leaning your head against the wall in an attempt to process what just happened. And once you did, you facepalmed yourself in frustration, mad at the reaction you had because God was that embarrassing.

You had acted as if you’d never seen, hell, as if you’d never done the dirty with someone, but for some reason walking in on someone receiving their um... pleasure… had you feeling like a kid who didn’t know about the birds and the bees. And his little comment only added salt to the wound, he probably thought you were enjoying the view with how long you had stayed there standing like an idiot!

“Start grabbing your partners everyone because the countdown is happening in exactly three minutes everybody! Three minutes till we enter 2019!” Three minutes?! You had to find your friends quick! Pushing off what happened to the back of your mind, you speed walk back to the main sector of the club, looking through the crowd of people in hopes of finding at least one of your friends.

“Where could he b—Ah!” you impulsively squeal once you spot Hobi along with the rest of your friends, quickly making your way towards them, Hobi spotting you as well.

“There you are! What took you so long?” Hobi asks, but just as you’re about to answer, a voice from behind interrupts.

“I caught traffic, and well parking was a bitch,” the voice, all too familiar, sends a feeling of panic through your body because turning to face the owner of said voice, was just as surprising as the scene you walked in on only moments ago.

“Y/N! This is Jungkook, Jungkook this is Y/N, my roommate I was telling you about,” Hobi shouts over the music, and all you can do is stare at the man in front of you wide eyed. Your mouth slightly agape in shock, while Jungkook on the other hand has a teasing grin on his face, as only the two of you knew what had transpired in the ladies’ restroom. He sticks his hand out for you to shake and you notice the small number of tattoos that cover his hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we got one minute on the clock! Start saying your goodbyes to 2018, and get ready to say hello to 2019!” The DJ shouts excitedly, lowering the music for the countdown that’s about to begin.

“Earth to Y/N?” Hobi says waving his hand in front of you, having left Jungkook with his hand open for quite some time now.

“Oh,” you say, bringing yourself back to reality and shaking his hand in return, but the moment you do he brings you in for a small friendly hug, “What a small world,” he whispers into your ear, winking at you as he pulls away.

Hobi, unaware of how you two originally met, rolls his eyes, “Hey, hey hey, she’s our roommate not some girl you can go messing around with,” Hobi says, “Now come on you two, there’s only 15 seconds left!” gently he shoves the two of you towards your groups of friends who were now wearing their New Year’s props which included giant sunglasses, feathered boa’s, and more.

“In 10, 9, 8 , 7, 6…” everyone begins to scream the numbers of the countdown, 2018 clearly leaving with a bang, “5,4,3!” you suddenly feel an arm wrap over your shoulder, and like in the movies a part of you expected it to be the man you just met, but thankfully enough it was Jimin who was clearly drunk, excited, and in clear need of catching his balance. But of course that didn’t mean someone didn’t have their eyes on you from afar…

“2, 1! Happy New Year!” The fog machine erupts and the strings of golden confetti begin to fall from the club’s ceiling. Cheers to the New Year.

Clutching your stomachs in laughter, the two of you poke fun at the recollection of that fatal first encounter, “I really walked in on you getting,” you heave in such a way that you’re incapable of completing the sentence, genuine laughter filling the air.

“Hey, you were the one who stood there like you’d never seen a—” playfully you push his shoulder before even he gets the chance to finish his own sentence.

“Like what you see?” you exaggeratingly mimic his voice from that night, lowering your voice by several octaves. He cries out in laughter, tears now forming in the corners of his eyes, feeling cringe at his choice of words from a year ago today. Who did he think he was? “The woman didn’t even bother to look up! Clearly you had her enamored in what she was doing!” you tease, and in response he wraps his arms around you in a playful manner, telling you that he didn’t want to hear any more.

“What even happened when I left?” you ask, curious to know the answer considering you only knew what you did afterwards.

“Well I overheard the DJ yell about the countdown so I had to cut it short, and well we exchanged numbers. I mean it wasn’t at all a drunk hookup or anything, I was sober, she was sober. I think I went out with her once afterward, but,” he shrugs his shoulders, “It was just meant to be a one time thing I guess,” he mumbles, shaking his head in slight shame and embarrassment. See a year ago, hookups like that were the norm for him, but a year ago he was also nothing like the person he was now. Was it for the better? He’d like to think so.

Shaking your head, you mumble, “To think our relationship would only get worse,” you stare at him accusingly, “no thanks to you!” He stays silent, not bothering to deny the accusation.

“Hey you didn’t make it any easier!” he huffs, “Do you need help with that? What’s that? I don’t think that should be placed there,” he mocks your questions from that day many months ago, move in day.

“I was just trying to be nice! Make things less awkward, you know?” you feel your cheeks get red, now seeing how pushy you had probably been.

He scoffs, “No you just didn’t want your things invaded with mine,” it was now your turn to stay silent.

“Mm,” you hum.

January 2019.

“I don’t think that should go there,” you whisper to Hobi, watching Jungkook place more of his things around your apartment, secretly hoping it was the last batch.

This had to at least be your 15th complaint today, but what bothered Jungkook more was that not only wouldn’t you tell it to his face, but they’d be said in such a superficial tone. He didn’t care if you were trying to be “nice”, it sounded fake and prissy and he’d prefer it if you could just shut up for one moment. People like you were just so… annoying, and to think he thought you were cute.

“Do you need help?” your voice interrupts his train of thought, your figure now looming over his shoulder, and attempting to look at the content of his cardboard boxes. Harshly, he closes the flaps, momentarily scowling at you before taking a deep breath and putting on his best face.

“No it’s fine, I’m almost done but thank you though,” he says, now his turn to be superficial.

“Oh well just let me know if you need anything,” you smile, as unbeknownst to Jungkook, you really were just this nice of a person. Yeah, things may still be a little awkward on your part because of what happened on New Years Eve, you of course having to pep talk yourself several times in the mirror this morning, but to you it was important you established some kind of friendship with your new roommate. Even if he wasn’t going to be here for long.

“I’m gonna go get us takeout,” Hobi announces, not only tired but hungry from having helped Jungkook carry his stuff upstairs to the apartment floor all day, because out of all days in the year, today the elevator just had to be out of service. “I’ll be back,” he says, grabbing his keys from the counter and making his way out. Leaving you and Jungkook to yourselves.

An awkward silence fills the living room air, Jungkook currently taking a small break on the long couch, while you sit on the short one, fidgeting with your fingers. Maybe you should make conversation? It wouldn’t hurt right?

“So Jungkook,” you begin nervously, he looks up from his phone and places his attention on you, a stoic expression on his face, “um..”, you mentally scold yourself for not already having a question prepared before speaking, “where are you from?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, he scoffs, “Korea?” he says, as if stating the obvious.

Feeling flustered, you reiterate your question, “No I mean like where did you move from, you know…” your voice lowers at the end.

He sighs before responding, his attention now back on his phone, “I was in the states for a while, but I’m originally from Busan.”

Immediately you light up, seeing this as an opportunity to further the conversation, “Oh I have a friend from there, I don’t know if you met him on New Years, but his name is Jimin!” you excitedly ramble, “He was the one with the dirty blonde hair, black turtleneck, sparkly jac—”

“Yeah I know,” Jungkook rudely interrupts, now getting up from the couch and walking towards his new room, “Let me know when Hobi’s back, yeah? I’m freaking starving,” and with that he enters his room and shuts the door, leaving you slightly taken back.

“Will do,” you quietly mumble to yourself, a little hurt to say the least by his cold action. Shrugging it off, you excuse it by assuming he was just grumpy. You were sure that he'd be more open to having conversation after settling his things in.

That night after cleaning a couple of your own things, and eating the food Hobi had brought, you remained in bed and on your laptop, Youtube surfing the rest of the night away. That was of course until you heard the sound of your restroom door opening and closing. Right away you get up, already knowing what transpired, but wanting to see the mess that was most likely made with your own two eyes.

Walking into your restroom, you’re immediately hit with the scent of your strawberry shampoo and lavender body wash mixed in with the foggy steam that was created, a result of an extremely hot shower. The sink, a travesty to look at, was spilled with water all over and you did not even want to get started on the “manly” products that were now side to side with yours behind the mirror’s cabinet. Meanwhile, your hair brush was covered in strands of dark brown hair that clearly weren’t yours. But the final straw? Finding the cap of your $100 dollar serum halfly screwed closed with remnants dripping down the bottle.

Shutting the cabinet, you practically stomp out of your restroom and immediately towards Jungkook’s door. Raising your hand to knock, you take in a deep breath, reminding yourself to be calm. Maybe Hobi didn’t tell him anything about using your restroom. This was only going to be a one time thing until you cleared it out with him.

Gently, you knock on his door, patiently awaiting his response. You could hear the sound of muffled music playing in the background, meaning it was probably much louder inside the room than out. Raising your hand to knock again, the door swings open just as you’re about to tap against the black wooden door. A shirtless Jungkook with your baby blue towel wrapped around his waist.

“Yes?” he smugly says, your cheeks almost an embarrassing shade of crimson. It’s hard to not look at what’s in front of you, but you manage.

“Oh um—” you fluster your words, “um —” you gulp before finding your words again, “I was hoping Hobi had told you about the bathroom situation…but um..I guess he didn’t so um yeah, my bathroom is only for me to us—”

“He did,” he cuts you off, huffing a small laugh.

“He what?” you asked, unsure of what he was referring to, or at least acting dense about it because you did not want to believe that the shirtless boy in front of you completely disregarded the simple rule he was supposed to follow.

“He told me about the whole bathroom rearrangement, buuuuttt,” he teases, “your restroom has the bigger shower and well add strawberry scented shampoo and lavender body wash into the mix and honestly it was a done deal for me,” he stretches his arms above himself, dramatically yawning, his abdomen stretching out in such a way that the towel on his waist was barely clinging onto its dear life.

“But—But—”

“But what?” he cocks his head to the side, amused by your panicked behavior, “It’s also the closest one to me so,” he shrugs his shoulders, “Well if that’s all you came here for then, goodnight,” he winks at you before turning around and slamming the door once again.

You stand there bewildered by what just happened, your mouth agape in shock. Did that really just happen or? Because if it did then he practically just told you that he didn’t give one single fuck.

Making your way back to your room, you’re unsure on how to feel about everything that just happened because sure you’ve encountered your fair share of rude people before but to live with one was a completely different story. And Jungkook wasn’t only rude, he was the smug kind, the “I know I’m good looking, so I can treat anyone the way I want to because my good looks will let me get away with it,” type of rude. Was it a little specific? Yes. But it’s true. Honestly, it was the type of person you thought only existed in rom-coms but clearly they exist in real life. Jungkook being a prime example of such an attitude.

“Just a couple of months,” you breathe out, throwing yourself onto your bed in exasperation, “until he gets settled down in Seoul,” you repeat Hobi’s words from New Years Eve to yourself, sighing before allowing slumber to sweep over you.

“So much for a couple of months,” you tease Jungkook, nudging his shoulder a little bit because a year later and he was still your roommate, and ironically it was you and Hobi who practically begged him to stay.

He scrunches his nose, “ I don’t see you complaining.”

You raise your hands in defense, “I’m just kiddinnn,” you sing, “What would I do without your buttermilk pancakes huh?” you grin at him, his eyes rolling playfully in return.

“Is that all you want from me? Pancakes!” he chuckles, “Ah I should’ve known,” he shakes his head. The two of you giggle at each other’s banter, his high pitched laugh truly infectious.

“What do you think y/n and Jungkook from the beginning of 2019 would think of this scene right now?” you ask, knowing the answer.

Jungkook ponders at the question for a moment before letting out a deep breath and answering, “Mm I think they’d have a hard time believing what’s in front of them, at least I would. I think you would be happy to see that your goal in becoming friends with your new roommate worked out just fine. It just took a bit of time was all…”

February 2019.

To say that you were struggling to live with Jungkook would probably be the biggest understatement of the year. From the constant use of your things without permission, to the blatant rude remarks he’d constantly throw at you, to the days where he’d be completely cold to you and the rest of the world, and don’t even let you get started on the constant women he’d bring over. You’d have to invest in some ear plugs soon if it kept going at the rate it was because at this point you knew Jungkook liked it um … rough … so to speak.

You found yourself asking Hobi, “Has he settled down yet?” wayyyy too often. Sometimes it felt like Jungkook was purposely baiting you to stoop to his level, like as if he was itching to play a game of cat and mouse. And so for you to continuously suck it up and put on a fake smile for him, only made him do more things to bother you.

He was like a mosquito pestering you at the back of your neck. He wouldn’t stop until he got his fangs, or whatever it was that mosquitos used to bite, into you. For what reason? You truly did not know, for you have been nothing but nice to him since the day he moved in.

You often wondered how Hobi could put up with it, you mean Jungkook wasn’t exactly mean to Hobi, but he did throw remarks and eye rolls here and there. The best way to describe it was that Jungkook was treating you two like punching bags, and a part of you wanted to know why? Not only why, but where? Where is Jungkook from? Why was he in the states? What made him come back? Why can’t he go back to Busan? Does he have family? How does Hobi even know the dude? Why does Jungkook wake up with a stick up his ass every morning? Why was Jungkook angry at the world and when did he decide that he was going to take it out on you two, especially you. Honestly you were unsure if you’d ever get answers to your questions, but it wouldn’t matter in a couple of weeks when he was gone, right?

Luckily though the only times you really did see Jungkook was on weekends, and even then if you weren’t out doing some nightly festivities then he was. Or while you went grocery shopping he was working out or something, Not to mention that weekdays you worked AM shifts at your job while Jungkook, who had been hooked up with a job at one of the coffee shop’s Hobi managed, worked afternoon to night shifts.

This meant that whenever you were going to work, Jungkook was catching up on his sleep and vice versa. But occasionally when you two did bump paths, let’s say going to your restroom, he definitely used those opportunities to try and get under your skin. Each and every time, failing to do so.

But today something was different. You weren’t sure if it was because as you were driving to work, coffee spilled onto your shirt at a speed bump because someone stole your favorite coffee thermo which had a securable lid. This then caused you to be 30 minutes late which then resulted in you receiving your first ever official warning. Or maybe it was because you had to not only stay an extra 30 minutes, but an extra hour because someone’s late night hook up the night prior kept you up and completely unfocused. You personally had chosen to go to sleep than stay up and listen to some girl screaming about how much deeper she wanted it while trying to type up your monthly report. And then of course who could forget the cherry on top? Coming back home to that same certain someone, and having to deal with the accusations that you stole his banana milk.

“I didn’t steal anything,” you mumble, warming up the japchae Hobi had left for you on the stove. Jungkook gets up and opens the fridge door, dramatically showing you the empty spot where his banana milk was usually at.

“Well someone did, and Hobi says it wasn’t him and well I trust Hobi so,” Jungkook shrugs, looking at you with a deadpan look on his face. Sadly, Hobi probably asleep already, tired from what you assumed was a long day of work and the thing about Hobi was once he went to sleep there was no waking him up. That boy could sleep through the world ending, “I don’t exactly think it’s beneath you to steal my things…” he says, each one of his words dripping with venom.

You?! Stealing his things?! When he’s the one who's been taking your things left and right?? If he had caught you on any other day, you probably would’ve shrugged his accusations off, hell you might’ve even taken the blame and offer to buy him a new pack. But right now, you could feel your blood almost boiling. How dare he!

“I,” your voice rises, completely ready to go off on the boy, until you hear a door slam, Hobi coming out completely groggy and clearly annoyed.

“Will you two just,” his voice is heavy, sighing in frustration, “Y/N just go and eat in your room,” he says, feeling like a parent to two fighting siblings.

“But—” you’re about to fight your case, until Hobi interrupts.

“Y/N…” he looks at you in despair, his tone a clear indicator that he wasn’t mad, he wasn’t annoyed, he was just tired. You grab your food from the stove, having to pass by Jungkook as you leave the kitchen.

“Was little miss saccharine finally going to pop?” he scoffs, the two of you momentarily having a stare down, until quickly you compose yourself, the fake smile he knew all too well back on your face.

“Goodnight Jungkook,” you say, before making your way back into your room, peeved that Hobi scolded you and not Jungkook, that was until you heard the sound of muffled voices through your closed door.

If you wanted to get a better listen you were going to have to crack open the door without making a single sound, something that would be embarrassing if you managed to fail. Deciding that you were too nosy for your own good, you thankfully succeed in doing so, their voices sounding much clearer to your ears.

“You know she’s having a bad day, and yet—” you hear the sound of Hobi flapping his arms in despair, “and yet you still make her your target of the day,” he says.

“What are you talking about?” Jungkook asks, his voice telling you that he was ready to go on the defense.

“Jungkook let’s not act dense,” Hobi says, “What are we in preschool? You have some crush, and think being mean will get you your way with her?” Hobi accuses, which Jungkook immediately denies.

“She wishes,” he mumbles in return, “I treat her like I treat everyone,” he clarifies, almost sounding proud.

“No you treat her worse,” Hobi adds, “if you’re not giving her some backhanded compliment then you’re completely giving her the cold shoulder. I probably only get half of what she does, and even I’m getting fed up with it, so I could only imagine how she feels,” he sighs, “but Y/N is a very very nice person, and since that first day I met her in till even today, I have never seen her get mad at anyone, but you my friend are,” he pauses, trying to think of the best way to describe it, “well you’re pushing buttons that I’ve never seen pushed.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Yeah because her whole act of “I’m miss goody two shoes and can never even hurt a fly” act is such bullshit,” he drops his air quotes, “a grown ass woman acting like telling someone off will add some kind of dent to the image I’m sure has taken her a very long time to build.”

With every word he says, you could feel your stomach drop further and further down. The lump in your throat desperate to be let out. “She probably has you and the rest of the world fooled, but I can see right through it. It’s people like her who will lie to your face, and tell you everything you want to hear because they don’t want to be painted out as some bad guy. And let me tell you people like that are much worse than me because at least I have the balls to tell it like it is to someone’s face rather than protect my own ego, ” he finishes his rant, the veins on his neck faintly popping.

Hobi remains silent for a moment, taking in everything Jungkook said, then pushing his hair back with his hand, an indicator that he was stressed, “Look man, I’m letting you stay here so you can get back on your feet, and because you didn’t want go back to Busan,” he sighs, knowing he’s stepping on broken glass, “I don’t know what happened over there in the states, and I’m not gonna ask about it because I’m sure you’ll talk about it the day you’re ready to,” he pauses, “But what I do know is that you’re right, Y/N does fake her persona from time to time…” you feel your heart drop, while Jungkook’s face goes smug. That is until Hobi continued with what he was saying, “But the same way I’m not gonna ask you about why you came back to Korea a completely cold person, I’m not gonna question why she acts the way it does, especially because it's not hurting anyone.”

“Of course you wo—”

Hobi cuts him off before he can continue, “Let me finish,” he sternly says, his brows knitted, “But as long she keeps letting her feelings build up the way I’m assuming they are, and you keep acting the way you are now then—” he sighs, “There’s going to be a day where the water in the pot is going to boil over and well I don’t wanna be here when it happens,” his presses his lips together, shaking his head at the mere idea, “All I ask for Jungkook is that you try to be a little nicer to her, just for once. I think the two of you would actually be pleasantly surprised at how much in common you have,” Jungkook tries his best to bite his tongue, seeing just how tired his friend looked, “Maybe not even nice to her, just decent. Can you do me that favor?”

Jungkooks lets out a huff of air before silently nodding his head yes, Hobi giving him a small smile in return, “Thanks Jungkook, now I can actually go to sleep instead of hearing you two bicker,” he says before tapping on his shoulder and going back into his room. You, on the other hand, quickly wipe any droplets that fall from your eyes, closing the door before Hobi could notice the crack that was there.

Jungkook sits in the kitchen chair for a while, reflecting on the lecture Hobi just gave him. Hating that the feeling of guilt was beginning to seep in because unlike Hobi, before his little lecture, Jungkook knew that there had been a pair of ears listening in and he knew you could hear every word that came out of his mouth as your little attempt to crack open the door wasn’t as slick as you thought it was ….he just hadn’t cared.

“Just be decent,” Jungkook whispers to himself before turning off the kitchen lights and heading to bed. The two of you lying in your own beds at night, a lot on each other's mind.

“And to think Hobi ended up predicting everything that was going to happen,” Jungkook shakes his head, remembering his friend’s warning to him.

“That’s our Hobi,” you laugh, “always one step ahead, well when he wants to be of course,” you add, a small chuckle coming out of Jungkook’s mouth in response.

“You think he knew what he was doing the whole time?” Jungkook asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Like in terms of allowing everything to play out, you know? Because if he wanted to he could’ve kicked me out from the beginning…” you ponder on his question for a bit, thinking back to Hobi’s role in this whole tale.

“Mm I think he knew but was probably unsure the whole time, you know? Unsure if things would work out the way he set em up to be, I don’t know if he’ll ever tell us but…” you pause, “I think he knew what he was doing from the moment he told you that you could live with us, and I definitely think it was bullshit on his part when he said that he didn’t know what happened to you in the states,” you laugh because you could picture Hobi doing his own research on Google late at night, “So I guess he just knew that there were two people in his life in desperate need of a…” you look for the right word to describe it.

“Reality check?” Jungkook fills in for you, but you shake your head no.

“Mm,” you hum, “No, I dont think thats the way to put it, hmm, how about this…” you pause one last time before continuing, wanting to make sure you said everything correctly, “Hobi had two pieces to a puzzle that needed to connect together in order to complete said puzzle, but after lots of tosses and turns in their box well the two pieces just didn’t fit together anymore. In fact they refused to even try and fit with another, deciding that they were going to live with their new flaps and dents, and ignoring the fact that in order to complete the puzzle they needed to come together,” you let out a small laugh, “and so Hobi took a gamble, and decided to leave the pieces alone for the time being, in hopes that maybe, just maybe with a little bit more tosses and turns they’d realize that by coming together they’d be left with nothing but a beautiful image to show,” a warm smile appears on your face, “Yeah I think I like how that sounds, what do you think?” you turn to face Jungkook who was staring at you with his doe-eyed expression, completely speechless.

“Or was I too wordy?” you laugh, “I reached didn’t I?” you begin to ramble, “Ah I really need to—” suddenly you feel a cold finger pressed against your lips, Jungkook sounding a tiny “shh” soon after.

“I think it was perfect,” Jungkook softly whispers, what could only be described as a loving smile on his face. He tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear, feeling your cold face get warmed up due to the heat that was rising from your cheeks. Reminding you of a memory from only months ago…

March 2019.

“Remind me why I’m going again?” you walk out of the hallway and into the living room, heels clicking against the wooden floor.

“Because you are tonight’s designated driver,” Hobi reminds you, “and well we all don’t fit in Seokjin’s mini cooper so there’s that,” he laughs. You sigh in return, looking at your reflection for the 100th time tonight. “Jungkook, you almost ready?” Hobi shouts from the living room, not keen on his friend’s habit of always getting ready at the last minute.

Tonight was one of, if not the only, rare occasions that both you and Jungkook would be at an outing together, and even then Hobi was always with you two, acting as the facilitator. Jungkook and you usually parted your separate ways the moment you’d arrive somewhere, especially at parties. And so today you didn’t really expect anything different.

It had been about a month since Hobi’s little lecture to Jungkook, and in a way it did have some kind of positive effect on Jungkook. These days he was now much more quiet and reserved, and honestly you preferred the cold shoulder over the constant attitude so you were definitely not complaining.

You were even surprised this morning when you found your bathroom products to be completely replaced by new bottles, including your serum! Of course they had been slightly used, meaning Jungkook wasn’t going to let go of his grip on them just yet, but at least it meant that he had the decency to realize that if he was going to be using them all the time, then it was only right that he occasionally paid for them.

Even last week when you heard him mumble a small, “that was good, thank you,” after making gyeran-mari’s for breakfast, you had to look at Hobi for confirmation that it really happened. Hell, he had even stopped constantly bringing women over, instead beginning to work out more often as you would now hear his grunts come from doing sit ups than from doing um… yeah. It looked like he even had a knack for boxing because you soon noticed how he’d come back home with hands wrapped in bandages or his gloves stringing along his duffel bag. Honestly, it was a little hot, but you’d rather die before admitting that to anyone.

“Ah I’m done, I’m done,” a voice comes out the hallway, Jungkook balancing on his right foot in a rush to put on his left shoe. Tonight he was dressed a little differently than his usual self, replacing his usual black attire and black combat boots for a more club friendly look of ripped blue jeans, black ankle boots, and a black fitted t-shirt. Of course not straying too far from his personal style. The new tattoo he had gotten recently was also in clear view tonight, his sleeve coming along quite nice in your opinion. He had recently even gotten his hair permed, allowing it to grow out longer than what you were used to seeing. It was crazy what a difference hair could make because it definitely made him look … better, in your eyes at least.

All this change on his part, honestly made you feel a little dull, but that’d be something to dwell on for another day. For now, you just wanted to get tonight over with. The faster you got there, the quicker you could leave, and the earlier you could be in bed.

“You took a whole ass hour for this?” Hobi eyes Jungkook up and down. Jungkook is quick to shoot him an offended look, while you on the other hand are struggling to suppress a laugh, “I’m not saying you look bad, in fact you look amazing, but this should not take you an hour!” Jungkook rolls his eyes, combing a hand through his hair.

“Are we going to get going or what?” he says, his cheeks tinged pink in embarrassment.

Once you all arrived, you were quick to meet up with the rest of your friends, everyone having pitched in for bottle service. Jungkook, who had become pretty cool with the rest of everyone, sat between Yoongi and Namjoon, all three of them laughing at God knows what. The bottle they had bought almost halfway done.

You on the other hand, were just watching everyone, the only person besides yourself who wasn’t drunk was Seokjin, and even then he was too busy with his new girlfriend to pay you any attention. Not that you really minded considering she really was a kind person and well who could blame Seokjin for being head over heels. They even shared the same humor, something that was quite rare to find.

You weren’t sure if it was because tonight the club seemed extra packed, or maybe the dress you were wearing was feeling a little too tight or maybe it was the stench of all alcohol getting to you but something definitely fell off. And you did not like it one bit.

“Hey I’m gonna go out back and get some fresh air outside,” you tell Hobi over the music, giving you a small nod in acknowledgement, the boy was clearly very drunk. The moment you stepped out, you definitely did feel better, the crispy fresh air outside almost making you feel as if you were breathing for the first time. That was until you heard the sound of someone arguing.

“I saw you dancing with her! Stop trying to gaslight me into thinking you weren’t!” a woman screams, very much in distress by who you assumed was her boyfriend, “God, I knew I should’ve listened to my mom, you are a pig! And I deserve a man who's going to—

“What did you just say?” he grabs her by the arm, his atrocious grip surely going to cause her a bruise later on.

“Let go of me!” she cries, as he then grabs her by the hair, ready to toss her to the floor and do whatever else he wanted to do with her. You feel your breathing become heavier, watching the scene unfold in front of you, unsure of what to do. You were scared and you didn’t know how to defend yourself, let alone someone else. But you also knew that God forbid you were ever in that situation, you wouldn't want someone turning a blind eye on you, so you did what was only right.

“Hey!” you scream while walking towards the couple, catching the man’s attention, “Let go of her before I—”

“Before you what?” he lets go of her hair, now walking towards you as well. The woman watches you with shaky eyes, having never guessed that her savior would be a woman in black string heels and a face that for the most part was not at all intimidating.

You reach into your purse, hoping to get a feel for either your taser or pocket knife, but of course, of fucking course, on all days of the year it was no where to be found. Nonetheless, you muster up your courage and respond, “Before I call security,” you say, trying your best to sound confident.

He laughs, dramatically looking around to show you that no one around was here to help, “Anyone ever teach you to mind your fucking business, like how a woman should,” you gulp, almost losing balance while taking a step back as he only gets closer, “Huh?! Anyone every fucking teach you that?” he closes in on you, your back soon hitting the wall that was behind you.

“Just leave her alone!” the woman screams in hysteria.

“You stay the fuck out of it! You’re the whole reason she’s in this mess,” he mutters, his words completely slurred and his breath reeking like alcohol. You almost feel like vomiting at the accidental whiff you take because wow was this man just disgusting.

“See maybe if you would’ve just gone about your day, you wouldn’t be here right now,” he makes a ticking sound with his mouth, mocking you, “but” he sighs, “I guess whores just have to stick with each other, huh?” he grabs you by the scalp of your hair, this time not hesitating to throw you to the ground.

“Oh my—” the woman screams, panic flowing through her veins.

“Go!” you yell at her, giving her the chance to escape even if it meant sacrificing your own wellbeing. She hesitates for a moment before running, the sound of her heels tapping against the pavement was one of the last things you could hear before the ringing in your ears became all too much.

You look at your hands for a moment, the stinging feeling almost unbearable as they had taken most of the impact of the fall, along with your knees. A part of you hoped he had left, that he had somehow magically disappeared or that you’d wake up to find that this was nothing more than a nightmare. But it wasn’t until you felt the grip of his hand on your hair again, that you’d come to realize the reality of your situation and that there was absolutely no one to help you.

The man lifts up his free hand, building power for the punch he was preparing to throw, as you could only throw your arms in front yourself in an attempt to minimize the impact of the punch. By now tears were falling from freely your eyes, small whimpers and sniffles coming out of fear. The final words you hear being spat from his mouth were, “you stupid bitch,” and in your head you count to three, waiting for the feeling of his fist against your face. But it never came.

Instead you feel the release of his hand on your scalp, and when you open your eyes you find him on the ground, not completely knocked out but he might as well be with just how out of it he looked. And though you weren’t drunk, you almost felt as if you were because absolutely everything around you was overlapping, hardly able to see anything in clear focus. But what you could make out was that there was a figure, and by the build you assume was a man, now sitting over the drunkard, throwing several punches at him. His goal was either to knock the man out or make sure he suffered every way possible before knocking him out.

You stand there for a moment in shock as you hear the person’s voice, a voice that was all too familiar, “I dare you to fucking lay a hand on her again, I fucking dare you!” Jungkook yells, throwing another punch at the man, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” slowly your vision becomes clearer as you wipe away the tears that had been blocking your vision, and soon you realize if Jungkook kept going at the rate he was, the man was going to be killed.

Quickly you run towards Jungkook, attempting to grab his right arm before he swings again, “Jungkook stop!” you yell, but instead he pushes your arm away, too caught up in his rage to think straight. The drunk man looked as if he was barely holding on, blood now all over his face. “I said stop!” you yell at the top of your lungs, the veins on your neck popping. Jungkook, panting, looks up at you, momentarily stopping. “Just stop,” you cry, wanting this nightmare to be over.

Jungkook looks at the barely conscious man one more time, pulling him by the collar of his shirt so that he’d get a good look of him, “If I ever see you again, I won’t hesitate to—”

“Jungkook,” you stop him from finishing his sentence.

He sighs, “Just be glad she’s here because scum like you deserve to fucking rot,” he says, letting go of the man’s collar and allowing his head to hit the pavement. He gets up from his position and begins to pat his black shirt of any dirt, catching his breath along the way. “You okay?” he asks, intensely staring at you.

But before you could respond, a voice screams, “Hey!” the two of you look up at said voice, only to find a security guard with a flashlight in his hand and his walky talky on the other.

Jungkook quickly grabs you by the hand, causing you to wince at the sudden touch, “Come on,” he says, pulling you to follow him.

He leads you back to the parking lot, confusion evidently on your face. It wasn’t until you turned back to find several security guards following after you that everything began to click together, panic now flowing through your veins. Hurriedly, you grab Hobi’s keys from your purse and unlock the door, your heart beating out of your chest.

Jungkook quickly hops in the passenger seat, his head throbbing from the amount of drinks he’s had, watching as you struggle to put the key in the ignition, clearly in a state of anxiousness. He yanks the keys from your hands and places them in himself, “Now drive!” he shouts, causing you to step ferociously on the gas pedal. Burning tire as you race off the parking lot.

“God my head is fucking killing me,” Jungkook complains, his blood stained hands resting on his temple. By now the two of you were heading back home, Jungkook having texted Hobi through your phone that he was going to have to get a ride from Seokjin. For the situation you two were just in had required an immediate escape.

You on the other hand were driving in complete silence, still in a state of shock of what just happened. Jungkook having to constantly remind you that you were driving, several instances of you zoning out at a stop light happening way too often for his liking.

“I am way too drunk for this shit,” he mutters under his breath, the reality of what just happened beginning to kick in. The queasy feeling in his stomach became more and more unbearable with every turn you took. And don’t even get him started on his throat, which was currently as dry as the Sahara Desert. “Is there some kind of water in this car?” he asks, beginning to look through the car console and glove compartment.

“I don’t,” you pause and sigh, “I don’t know.”

“Then pull over here,” he deadpans.

You furrow your brows in confusion, “What?”

“Pull over,” he repeats, his patience running out.

Not questioning him a second time, you do exactly that, pulling over at the side of some park near your apartment. Jungkook takes in a deep breath before opening the door and sticking his head out, seconds later the sound of him vomiting making you feel as queasy as he did.

“Oh God,” you mumble to yourself, just wanting to be in bed already. But of course that wasn’t going to happen because soon enough Jungkook was getting out of the car and going to God knows where. “Where are you going?” you shout, as he walks towards the park.

“I need water,” he says, “You coming or what?” you contemplate on whether to follow him or not, before ultimately exiting the car and locking it. With the way he was stumbling his footsteps, it was better safe than sorry to follow him.

“BogoShipda!” Jungkook sings loudly to the trees in the park, all of the alcohol he drank at the club still running through his system. You stare at him in surprise, having never seen him act like this before, as he continues to sing.

“Now where’s a water fountain when you need one,” he mumbles, the darkness of the night sky making it hard for him to scan his surrounding area. You found yourself feeling a little scared in fact. The silhouette of the trees and the sound of the wind softly pushing against the branches only making the atmosphere more scary.

“Ah there it is!” Jungkook slurs his words, sounding like a kid at a carnival. Once he’s in front of the fountain, he pushes against the button, the water sprouting out of the fountainhead. You stare at him in silence as he hadn’t crouched down to drink yet, thus confusing you.

It wasn’t until you felt a tug at your hand and the sting of the water hitting against your scrapes that you felt like punching him. “What are you doing?” you ask, trying your best not to sound too peeved.

He looks at you before rolling his eyes, “What do you think I’m doing? I’m cleaning your hands,” he signals for you to give him your other hand, and without thinking you comply.

“I could’ve done this at home,” you say.

“I know, but the longer we wait the higher chance it'll end up getting infected by dirt so,” he looks at you with a know it all expression, and you mumble a small “I guess,” under your breath, the stinging sensation soon enough replaced by a cool one, your hands no longer feeling as rusty.

It isn’t until he’s finished that he takes a sip of water, exhaling a small “ahh” sound after downing several gulps. “Come on,” he grabs your hand again, leading you to a park bench with a small lamppost right next to it, providing a smooth yellow dim light.

“Why are we—”

“I just want to sit for a moment without the movement of a car, just for a bit,” he exhales a heavy breath, manspreading on the bench and throwing his head back, “just for a bit,” he repeats, his voice soft.

The two of you sit there in silence, “Why are you staring at me?” he asks with his eyes closed, feeling your intense stare.

“I’m not—I’m not staring,” you stutter, he hums in response. Silence fills the air again, until Jungkook mumbles something that at first is inaudible.

“What?” you ask.

“I said I’m ˢᵒʳʳʸ,” you look at him confused, were you hearing him correctly?

“Wait what?” you ask again, it wasn’t your intention to come off as pushy nor pretentious but you were just seriously surprised as to what you were hearing.

He grumbles before repeating himself, “I said,” he drops his shoulders, “I said I’m sorry.” He opens his eyes to look at you, his usual smug behavior nowhere to be found on his face, he was being completely serious.

“Oh…” you pause for a moment before continuing, “Can I ask for what? I’m not trying to be mean or anything or act dense. I seriously just don’t know why,” you make sure you add those claims at the end, feeling as if you were walking on eggshells.

He looks at you momentarily before placing his view on the trees in front of you, “For not getting there earlier,” he mutters, as if disappointed with himself, “I went out because Hobi had told me to go check up on you, but,” he stays silent for a moment before continuing, clenching his jaw, “at first I sorta shrugged him off when he asked me, it wasn’t until he asked me second time that I actually went outside,” his voice shakes a bit and you notice that his eyes become slightly glossy, “and then a woman came running up to me rambling about someone about to get beaten up, but the last person I thought she was talking about was you,” he exhales loudly before continuing, trying his best to maintain his composure, “but either way I ran towards wherever she was pointing at, and that’s when I saw you on the floor,” his voice cracks, “and I just keep replaying everything in my head, and I just—” he closes his eyes and shakes his head, “I’m just sorry and I felt like you deserved to know that,” he concludes, a tear falling from his face.

And maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe he just really did feel bad, but to see Jungkook this vulnerable was different to say the least. It was almost humanizing in some aspects.

Jungkook expected you to scream at him, to tell him that it was his fault you were put in that situation. That he could’ve prevented it from happening, that because of him you almost got beat to a bloody pulp.

No, in fact he doesn't expect you to, he wants you to. It’s what he deserves to hear from you. Had it not been for him and his ego, he would’ve gone out there the moment Hobi had asked him to, and you would’ve never had to deal with that drunk excuse of a human being to begin with. Or was the alcohol in his system just seriously getting to him because God did he feel sick.

“Jungkook it’s not your fault,” you begin, but Jungkook who's still looking at the trees, refuses to make eye contact. “Hey look at me,” you demand, tugging his hand in an effort to get him to look at you. When he does so, you continue, “That man was going to attack me whether you came or not because a weak man like that will attack the easiest target,” you state, a small chuckle escaping your lips, “It was no one’s fault but his, you hear me?” you squeeze his hand, “Not yours, not mine, not Hobi’s, not the lady, no one. Absolutely no one.”

More tears begin to fall from his bloodshot eyes, “You don’t get it y/n,” he shakes his head, “You don’t what that man could’ve done to you in that time I wasn’t there, you could’ve been killed for God’s sake,” he attempts to say it firmly, but his voice betrays him by whimpering in the end.

“But he didn’t!” you say, and without thinking you place his hand on your cheek, “I’m right here look! All because of you! Yeah you didn’t get there as early as you wished you could’ve, but you got there nonetheless! And if you hadn’t I probably would be sporting a big old black eye on my face and have one cheek bigger than the other right now. I’d look like one of those chipmunks from Alvin and the Chipmunks!” you laugh at your own joke, and for the first time ever, Jungkook laughs with you. His last first starting off as a small chuckle but the harder you laughed, the harder he did. The beginning to what would be you always hearing his high pitched laugh around the apartment, but let’s not get too far ahead right now.

They say when a human is drunk, they muster up the courage to do something they’d never do sober, but have always thought of doing in the back of their mind. It was often why people would blame a bold text to an ex on being “drunk” despite not taking one sip of their tequila shot, or why some people would excuse cheating on being “drunk” despite knowing it was something they wanted to do for a very long time. They were looking for an excuse to finally do it. And so now sitting here, with his hand caressed across your face, goofy grins plastered on your faces, he felt tempted to just kiss you.

It was weird really, yeah he thought you were cute, in fact there were days he’d found you hot, but anything past physical attraction had never really crossed his mind. To him, you’d always been and currently were his roommate who he found both superficial and performative.

The one who once attempted to hide her strawberry scented shampoo in her room during work, in hopes that he wouldn’t go out of his way to find it. The one who liked her jjolmyeon more on the sour side than the sweet. The one who occasionally made him coffee and breakfast in the mornings, despite him being asleep after a long night of work of barristering. The one who for some odd reason almost never watched Netflix on the TV, but instead would watch it on her laptop on the couch, thus rendering the TV completely useless.

And so to be here, finally appreciating the person that you were after what could’ve been a near-death experience was a bit of a wake up call. And yeah like you said, maybe he didn’t get here as early as he should’ve been, but he got here nonetheless. He smiles to himself, your words having a double meaning behind them.

But for now he wanted to preserve this feeling, because he knew he was drunk. He was so drunk that the tree behind you was beginning to look like it was moving towards him. And so rather than kiss you, he instead decides to simply tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, deciding that if he felt like this tomorrow morning when he was sober then it’d be something worth looking into.

“I’m telling you, if I ever see that man again—”

“It was like,” you count on your fingers, “9 months ago Jungkook, I doubt you even remember his face,” you cut off, patting his shoulder.

“Mm,” he hums, “you’d be surprised how good I am at remembering faces, so when I tell you I’m still waiting for the day I come across him again, I mean it!” you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” you sing, “Hey at least something good came out of it,” you smile.

Jungkook looks at you with uncertainty, “Which is?”

Your small smile then becomes a toothy grin, “We became friends!” you exclaim excitedly, “temporarily at least,” you laugh.

April 2019.

It had been about two weeks since the incident at the club. Jungkook having completely avoided you since, and no you weren’t paranoid because originally you thought you were. It first started off with you not seeing him at all around the apartment, which you excused with you two having different work schedules like always. But then you’d notice he wouldn’t even drink the coffee you would make for him in the morning, it being left there on the counter for the entire day.

And in the very rare moments you did manage to get a glimpse of him in the hallway either entering or exiting his room, the boy would completely avoid eye contact with you! But the final confirmation that told you he was avoiding you? He had bought his own shampoo and body wash for himself! Not just any kind, he bought an extra lather version of your own with exfoliating properties. And you didn’t if you could use it or not because, well because he was avoiding you!

It wasn’t like you two kissed or anything! The most that happened was that you two shared a laugh! So then why was he avoiding you like the freaking plague? After a week of thinking about every possible reason he could be, you had given up. You’d accepted that you were back at square one with him, but it wasn’t like you were ever at square two to begin with. And so that’s why yesterday when Hobi told you he’d be going on a morning/afternoon hike trip on Saturday with Namjoon, you were skeptical on how Jungkook would manage to avoid you.

It was also why this morning in bed, when you heard what sounded like furniture being moved at 7 in the freaking morning, you were unsure about getting up and saying something or remaining in bed. Luckily you didn’t have to think about it for too long because you soon heard the sound footsteps coming closer to your bedroom door. As a result, you quickly threw yourself under the covers and pretended to be asleep.

It definitely had to be Jungkook who had just entered your room, the heavy footsteps acting as a signal to you that it was. Your eyes widen when you hear the sound of your drawer being pulled open, “What the hell did he think he was doing? Should you turn around and scare him? Hmm. No,” you think to yourself because soon enough you felt a hand gently shake your body.

“Y/N,” he whispers, clearly in belief that you were asleep. You let him shake you around a little more, just to make your little “I’m just waking up” act a little more believable, “Y/N,” he repeats, and this time you begin to make groggy sounds. Actress of the Year Award : Check.

“Mm,” you hum, but you’re quickly jolted awake when you feel your covers get pulled off of you, “What are you—” you look up at Jungkook, who was dressed in complete workout gear. But what really had you concerned, was the workout clothing he had folded in his hands because well they were yours.

He tosses the matching pair of black leggings and sports bra, “Go change,” he sternly says, only causing you to look at him in further confusion.

“B-b-but-” Jungkook knows you’re about to not only complain, but ask many many questions. Because that’s just the type of person you are.

“Hobi told me you like buttermilk pancakes with extra syrup, but that since yours always come out burnt and his come out too dull, that the only time you get to eat them is if you go to a breakfast restaurant,” you narrow your eyes at him, confused as to where this was leading to, “Well at the coffee shop I work at, we have a weekly Pancake Tuesday and well let’s just say a certain someone has been rated top pancake maker for 2 months now,” you quirk your brow in interest, continuing to listen, a smirk now on his face, “and let’s also say this certain someone has a stack of warm pancakes sitting there on the kitchen island, untouched and certainly uneaten.”

You quickly smile at what he was insinuating, “BUT you can only eat them if you get up, get ready and change in 5 minutes,” he looks at the clock, “starting now.” And in the blink of an eye you were up and running towards your restroom because certainly if that didn’t get you up and out of bed, he wasn’t sure what would.

Quickly you brush your teeth and fix up your hair a bit, curious to know what Jungkook had planned out. To think you thought he was avoiding you! Well he was … but that doesn’t matter anymore! Placing your shoes on you begin to make your way towards the living room, the thought of eating those buttermilk pancakes almost making your mouth drool. That was until you stepped into the living room, stopping dead in your tracks.

Your eyes glaze over everything, blinking veryyy slowly, in order to make sure you were seeing things correctly. Jungkook had transformed your living room into some kind of um … workout center? For boxing? He had everything from the red punching bag, the reflex bag, the speed ball, jump rope, mini dumbbells, and most importantly boxing mitts for some one-on-one training. Everything was an adequate enough size to fit in all into the living room, but not too big in a way that it couldn’t be stored in the extra closet you had in the hallway.

“Why did you—” Jungkook hands you a pair of shiny black boxing gloves, along with bandages.

“I’m going to teach you the basics of boxing,” he presses his lips together, “whether you like it or not,” he says.

“Jungkook I don’t thin—”

“You don’t think what?” he looks at you in a way that tells you he wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I’m not really cut out for this kind of stuff,” you try to make an excuse for yourself anyway, but he wasn’t buying it.

“Because you have no experience, which is exactly why I’m going to teach you,” his brows draw together, a stern look on his face as he now makes eye contact with you, “You can’t just always expect someone to pop out of thin air and come to your rescue y/n, what happened two weeks ago was a mix of both good timing and sheer luck,” he sighs while pulling out a taser and pocket knife from his pocket, “and though this is helpful in many situations, you seem to forget to take these with you,” he scolds, “guess where they were the night at the club?” You stay silent, “the kitchen island,” he answers for you.

“Okay I get it, I get it,” you say, “I need to learn how to protect myself without using those,” you point to the items in his hand.

“Exactly, I’m glad we’re on the same page,” he playfully pats your head, “so we’ll be doing this every weekend for the next eight weeks, from 7AM till 2PM. We might even throw an occasional weekday night in there if I don’t get out of work too late.”

“7AM?!” you shriek, “Oh no no no, you sir are crazy,” you protest, shaking your head in denial, “No amount of pancakes will have me waking up that early every weekend.”

“Oh come on! The more hours you do, the better you’ll get!” he bargains with you, catching you off guard by throwing his arm around your shoulder, your cheeks going red as a result.

“Jungkook,” you dramatically cry out, ready to stomp your feet on the floor like a little kid, the only thing preventing you was you not wanting the downstairs neighbors to come up and complain.

He tightens his grip on you, “Come onnnnn,” he sings, “I’ll let you use my new body wash with the exfoliating properties,” he teases you, having heard you complain to Hobi one morning about being unsure of whether or not you could use it. You truly were too kind for your own good, cause if the situations were reversed, Jungkook would’ve just gone ahead and used it.

You narrow your eyes at him once again, “More like you’re buying me one of my own!” you demand and he nods in agreement, “Also, where did you even manage to get all this?” you ask, genuinely curious as to how he managed to buy all this.

“Um let’s just say I have a buddy at the boxing gym who didn’t really need these anymore,” you stare at him suspiciously, but decide to shrug it off. You’d ask him more questions some other day, but for now all you wanted was to eat those pancakes!

Hobi opens the door to his shared apartment, exhausted from the hike he just had this morning and honestly ready to just hop into bed and sleep. That was until he saw the transformation of his living room in front of his very own eyes, his skin paling and mouth gaping in shock.

“What the—” he whispers, preparing to scream out your names like a parent walking in their house only to find it destroyed by their teenagers, but before he could the sound of something stops him dead in his tracks. It was the sound of soft snores.

Walking towards the sound, which seemed to be coming from the long couch, a smile immediately appears on his face when he comes to see the view in front of him. You were on one side of the couch while Jungkook was on the other, both of your feet stretched out and touching in the middle, napping away. Hobi personally thought he was dreaming, this being a view he never thought he’d see.

Wanting to preserve the memory, he grabs his phone from his pocket and opens up the camera app, snapping the photo in silence, tempted to edit and post the photo with little clouds above each other's heads and make up some witty caption. But he’d save it for some other day. For now, he was just happy you two were finally getting along.

“Ah I had forgotten how that photo came to be,” Jungkook laughs, looking at the photo on your Iphone screen, “you were tired from working out, while I was tired from having to watch you continuously mess around with the equipment,” he pokes fun at you. Not like it wasn’t true, that day you kept going back to the speed ball, aimlessly hitting it in hopes that at some point you’d magically become fast at hitting it like in the movies.

“Hey, I’m pretty decent at doing everything now,” you flash him a cheesy smile. After several weeks of consistent training and long hours, you were definitely at a point where you could adequately defend yourself from someone ranging from a small petite woman to around a medium sized man. Luckily, you haven't come across a situation that has required you to to do so nor do you ever hope to, but it was comforting to know that if something ever did happen, then you were ready. But, your taser and pocket knife would always be your first go to, no matter what.

“You’re…” Jungkook pauses, “okay,” he breathes, huffing a quiet laugh. Out of impulse you flash him the finger, showing off your freshly manicured fingers. “Aren’t you rude,” he says with a dramatic gasp.

You roll your eyes, “You’re the one who taught me,” you laugh, and Jungkook places his hand on his chest, looking at you with a dramatic offended look on his face.

“Me?” he feigns his surprise.

“Yes you! How could I forget,” you look at him accusingly.

“No I taught you how to stop faking a smile, and to start putting a foot down people’s neck,” he shrugs, “not to go sticking out the middle finger,” he jokes, and you only roll your eyes again, grumbling a small “Mm.”

May 2019.

To your surprise, you had been managing to consistently wake up and work out every weekend with Jungkook, with him even being able to up your usual workout plan at a drastic rate. You’d shed a couple of pounds and to your surprise could even see some muscle beginning to form, but today, well today was your monthly lazy day.

Lazy day was the one day of the month where you and Hobi would push everything off your schedule, from calling off of work, to making sure everything in the apartment was clean, and buying snacks the night before in order to make sure you wouldn’t have to step out of the apartment. It was usually picked the month before by either you or Hobi closing your eyes and randomly pointing somewhere on the calendar, and whatever day your index finger managed to land on would be the day. And well today was that day.

But when Hobi told you yesterday night that a family emergency was going to have to bring lazy day to a temporary halt because he had to drive back to Busan, which in itself was a three hour trip from Seoul, you had already called the day off weeks prior as your job wasn’t as lenient on last minute call offs. The contract you signed stating in small print, “any day off must be requested, sent in, and approved 2 weeks prior to the date said employee is asking for.”

And so this morning when Jungkook entered your room to find you completely knocked out with drool coming out of your mouth, he was surprised to say the least. On weekday mornings, he would almost always wake up to find himself alone in the apartment considering both you and Hobi have day jobs, so hearing snores come out of your room had definitely caught him off guard.

He debated on whether he should be annoying and wake you up and then force you to work out or be a nice roommate and make you breakfast. Let’s just say he didn’t choose the latter. Grabbing one of the stuffed animals that you weren’t hugging, he throws it at your head, a grunt coming out of your mouth after.

“Jungkook,” you mutter, morning voice in full effect, “let me sleep please,” you say, switching to the other side, in hopes that he’d leave.

“No, you need to work out,” he says, beginning to nag.

Turning around again, this time to face him, you look at him with your eyes half-way open, “Today’s lazy day,” you deadpan, his eyes narrow in confusion.

“What the hell is, quote on quote, lazy day?” he asks, lifting a brow. Rubbing your eyes along with eye boogers in the corners, you begin to stretch your arms and legs, not caring if he was staring.

Sighing once you were ready to respond, you then answer, “Lazy day is the one day of the month that me and Hobi take a day off of work to well … be lazy,” he stares at you with an innocent look on his face, “butttttt,” a mischievous smile appears on your face, “since Hobi cancelled on me, now you’re going to be lazy partner for the day.” His face twists in bewilderment.

“Huh?”

“You heard me, go call the café, and tell em you’re taking the day off,” you smile, now getting up from bed.

“And why would I do that?” Jungkook asks, the question coming off a little harsher than intended, but you were quick to shrug it off, already accustomed to the occasional attitude.

“Becauseeeeee,” you sing, “When was the last time you’ve taken a day off, I mean look at you right now! You’re already dressed comfortably,” you eye him up and down, he was currently in work out clothing which for him consisted of an oversized grey sweater and joggers, “do you really wanna get all sweaty and then have to shower, change, and go to work… cause I don’t think you do,” you raise your eyebrows up and down in a teasing manner as he avoids eye contact with you.

His eyes look around your room, clearly thinking to himself. A lazy day huh? Hmm you did make a point, he really couldn’t remember the last time he’s just lounged around and done nothing, as he was always doing something whether it be working out, working, going out, etc.

He looks back at you once he’s made his decision, letting out a huff of air, “Fine,” he says, grabbing his phone from his pocket, preparing to dial the coffee shop, a tiny squeal coming from you.

“I thought lazy day meant no going out,” Jungkook complains while pushing the grocery cart around, following you and your need to go up and down each and every aisle at the store.

“It does, but since Hobi and I couldn’t go grocery shopping the night before,” you grab some strawberry lemonade from the freezer and place it in the cart, “someone has to help carry the groceries up the stairs,” you catch him rolling his eyes, “your eyes will get stuck up there if you keep doing that,” you comment, grabbing packaged ramen from the counter beside you.

“Yeah, Yeah—” Jungkook stares at what’s in your hands wide eyed, “No, no, no! What are you doing?” You jump in surprise, dropping the package on the floor.

“Wh-what?” your face flushes in surprise, his outburst completely catching you off guard.

“Shin Ramyun?! What happened to getting Paldo Bibimmyeon?! Do you have no loyalty?” he scrunches his face up, in clear distress at what he just caught you doing. At first you don’t think he’s serious, this being some stupid joke he was making, but once you got a glimpse of the stare he was giving you, you’d soon come to realize that he was not playing around at all.

“It’s be-be-because,” you begin to stutter under his scrutiny, “these are buy three, get two free,” you lopsidedly smile, an awkward laugh feigning from your lips. He shakes his head, snatching the ramen from your hands and placing it on its original spot before then grabbing his Paldo Bibimmyeon.

“Choosing price over quality, are you crazy?” he mutters under his breath before pushing the cart past you and making his way to the checkout line, leaving you there momentarily flabbergasted.

Once you caught up to him you were ready to tell him something until you heard the sound of someone calling your name, “Y/N?” you turn around, surprised to see Jimin in the line next to you.

“Oh Jimin!” you smile, softly waving at the newly blonde-haired boy, his roots telling you that the hair job was recent. Jimin offers his hand out to Jungkook. Jungkook, at first hesitant, shakes it in return, “You remember Jimin, right? He was with us on New Years, he was supposed to come partying with us last time, but he flaked last minute,” Jungkook slowly nods remembering the boy wrapping his arm around you during the countdown while Jimin on the other hand raises his hands to his defense.

“Even a person like me can get burnt out every here and then,” he laughs, “but next time I’ll be sure to be on the dance floor,” he winks at you, his natural flirty personality making its appearance. Jungkook awkwardly coughs, pushing the cart forward to get your attention back in the moving line.

You feel your hands get a bit clammy, Jimin always being someone you did have a bit of a crush on, never pursuing anything because of your long-term friendship with him. But of course that didn’t mean he didn’t get an occasional blush out of you here and there. “So how have you been since the last time I saw you? It’s been quite a while—”

And just as you’re about to answer, Jungkook interrupts, “Y/N,” he says, nudging you to tell you that it was time to pay.

“Ah I guess I’ll just see you around then,” Jimin chuckles, waving a small goodbye.

“O-oh yeah I guess I—”

“Y/N,” Jungkook repeats, unbeknownst to you, the green eyed monster was beginning to make its appearance. Any longer and horns would probably start sprouting out his ears.

Once you two finish paying and bagging everything, you walk towards Jungkook’s new black Hyundai which he had bought only a couple of weeks ago after months of what he calls “busting his ass” off and using most of his savings up for. You hum a tiny tune while helping him place all the bags in the trunk.

“So…” Jungkook awkwardly begins, second guessing whether he should continue asking the question he had in his mind before deciding to just do it anyway, “Is that like your boyfriend or something?”

Immediately you stop humming, staring at Jungkook wide-eyed, “Oh no, no!” you quickly deny, “No, No, no,” you repeat, shaking your head. The redness of your cheeks tell another story.

“Hm,” Jungkook mumbles, “sorta looked like it,” he deadpans before going to put the cart in its designated spot, leaving you there confused as to what that meant.

After a couple of hours of lounging around in the apartment and binging Narcos: Mexico on the TV rather than your laptop because of Jungkook’s complaints, the two of you were now eating your ramen on the kitchen island, quietly seated on the tall chairs. The sound of Jungkook slurping his noodles filling the room.

“What did you mean by Jimin being my boyfriend or something?” you suddenly ask out of nowhere, the question having been on your mind for a majority of the day.

Jungkook takes a final gulp of his food before responding, “I don’t know,” he nonchalantly shrugs, “you were gawking at him like a schoolgirl seeing her crush in the hallway,” he says, “thought you two had something going on, or at least on your part,” he reiterates.

“I did not stare at him like some schoolgirl!” you deny, taking offense to his analogy, “He’s j-jus—”

“J-just someone you clearly have a crush on,” he mocks your flusteredness, “I see and here a part of me thought it thought it was two-sided,” he smirks.

“It’s not sided on either way,” you protest, “Jimin is just a friend,” you clarify, putting your foot down.

“How do you even know the dude?” he asks. He knew you and Hobi met during college, and that Hobi was in some club with Yoongi and Namjoon which explains how you met them. He also knew that Seokjin and Taehyung came into the picture after some college frat party, but Jimin, well he didn’t know too much about Jimin. Just that he clearly felt comfortable enough to have his arm around you during New Years.

“I met him during my first year of performing at Busan Arts College, that was before I transferred to Seoul National where I’d then meet Hobi,” Jungkook’s ears perk up, several questions now running through his head.

“An arts college? In Busan?”

“Yeah, like a school for dance majors, drawing, theatre, music, film, modelling, sports, interior design, animation, and et cetera,” you smile softly while explaining, “I was an art major, painting to be specific, and along the scopes of watercolors and abstractness.”

Jungkook hums, his curiosity still not completely fulfilled, “So why’d you transfer?” he asks the big question.

“Oh..” you know you shouldn’t be, but for some reason you are slightly taken back by his blunt question, “because..” you sigh, “um something happened that well um I just thought it’d be best to transfer, and well my math skills weren’t too rusty for the entrance exam and my credits were exceptional for transferring and so I just took the leap and left. Met Hobi, we became roommates, decided to stay roommates even after graduating and well now I’m an accountant.”

Jungkook stays silent for a moment, surprised that there was more to you than meets the eye. He would’ve never guessed that you were into painting, “I stayed in touch with Jimin, introduced him to my new group of friends and well yeah, that’s that,” you finish explaining, “He was a dance major, just in case you were curious,” you add, “He now works at a contemporary dance company here in Seoul, very deep with connections in the arts industry,” So that’s who Jimin was huh? Cool... but now Jungkook was much more curious about you.

“Do you ever paint?” he asks another question, completely finished with his meal and at this point only staying for the conversation. It was weird, had it been anyone else asking you these questions you wouldn't have dared entertain it any further, probably finding some way to maneuver out of it. But for Jungkook to ask whether it be from a place of nosiness or simple curiosity, hell maybe even boredom, for some reason you just didn’t mind.

“Um not really, not anymore at least, especially these days that work is beginning to pile up but,” you hesitate for a moment before continuing, “I still have some of my old work somewhere under my bed, probably in a storage box knowing me.”

“Can I see them?”

And just as you’re about to answer, your phone’s ringing sound goes off. The person calling? Jimin. You hesitate to answer, glancing at Jungkook who was staring at your phone, presumably reading the name. Once he does, he looks at you in a way that was asking, “Are you going to pick up?”

You click the green button to accept, “Hello?”

“Y/N?” Jimin asks, unsure if it was you.

“Yes?”

“Hey! Um so I was actually meaning to call for quite a while,” Jungkook tries his best not to make it obvious that he’s listening in, “and so when I ran into you and your friend at the market it served as a complete reminder.”

“Oh what for?” you ask politely.

“Well I was hoping we could catch up over some dinner, and then I could tell you something very important that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time,” From Jimin? “I was thinking this Saturday like at 7? I’ll pick you up.”

“Oh um..” for some reason you look at Jungkook for advice, but he just stares at you with his eyebrows furrowed, “Yeah sure, why not?” you awkwardly laugh.

“Perfect, I’ll see you then! Byeeeee,” he sings before clicking, leaving you on the line. Did that call really just happen? Or were just imagining things?

“I think—” you gulp, “I think I have a date this Saturday?” you say unsurely, a small dumbfounded smile beginning to appear on your face.

He notices the goofy smile beginning to appear on your face, before letting out a large exasperated breath and feigning his best smile. The forced smile comes out quite awkward, “With Park Jimin?” Park Jimin your college friend. Park Jimin, the successful contemporary dancer. Park Jimin, the one who looked like he came straight out of a magazine cover. That Park Jimin? Jungkook on the other hand could feel his eyebrow impulsively twitch in response, the green eyed monster creeping from behind, ready to make its return.

You nod your head yes, Jungkook now getting up from the chair, a negative energy now around him. “So much for it being a zero sided thing,” he mutters before practically throwing his dish into the sink and stomping out the kitchen, leaving you completely by yourself.

“Weird,” you think to yourself before heading off to bed.

Saturday had surprisingly arrived in the blink of an eye despite the extra hours of working out Jungkook had thrown in the morning. It was almost as if the boy wanted you to be on your date exhausted and halfway knocked out. Out of nowhere, deciding that today was the best day to start working on more leg targeted exercises, as a result your legs now felt like jell-o with every step you took.

“I’m gonna get going you guys,” you announce to the boys in the living room, who were currently on the couch watching an episode of One Piece.

Hobi turns his attention from the screen to look at you, immediately smiling at your outfit, “Ahh look at you,” he compliments, Jungkook on the other hand or silently watches you as you grab your keys from the countertop. “Doesn’t she look pretty Jungkook?” Hobi asks, tapping Jungkook on the shoulder. Jungkook remains silent, which oddly enough resulted in a heavy feeling in your chest. “Now she’s sad!” Hobi scolds, “Tell her she looks pretty,” Hobi pushes Jungkook’s shoulder this time.

“You look…” Jungkook pauses, and for a moment both you and Hobi hold your breath, for Jungkook’s mouth was quite unpredictable sometimes, “You look more than pretty,” he says with a warm look on his face before catching himself and going back to his usual expressionless face and turning his attention back to the screen. Hobi who looks like he’s about to tease the hell out Jungkook once you leave, struggles to hide the big grin on his face. While you, well you could’ve sworn you felt your heart skip a beat.

“Well get going now! And don’t come back too late!” Hobi teases, loving the persona of acting like a parent a little too much.

Was thinking about your roommate regular for a date? Because that’s what you found yourself doing … a lot. From the moment you had stepped into Jimin’s car your immediate comparison was to Jungkook’s own car. Once he started driving, your mind went to how unlike Jimin who drove with both hands on the steering wheel, Jungkook liked driving with one. More specifically his left.

And of course being on a date you expect conversation to be flowing all around even when you’re waiting on the food, but for some reason you had become so used to Jungkook always being silent until he was nearly finished with his food, that when Jimin began to make conversation while waiting definitely felt … odd for you to say the least. And don’t even get you started on what he ended up ordering. Well done steak?! Jungkook hated well done steak, preferring medium rare over anything. And so to say your roommate had been constantly on your mind this whole time was a bit of an understatement.

Currently the two of you were walking on the bridge of a local park, the several number of lampposts and people all around you making it less scary than compared to that night at the park with Jungkook. “So Y/N how’s your year been so far?” Jimin asks, a pleasant smile on his face.

“It’s been,” you pause, thinking about the person who came into your life only months ago, “it’s been pretty good.”

“That’s good to hear, that’s good to hear,” he repeats, the two of you now sitting on a bench, “So I know I told you I had some important news,” he begins, “and it’s something I’ve been really wanting to talk to you about for a very long time,” he insinuates, “and so if you could close your eyes for a moment that’d be great,” you do as follows, and close your eyes, Your heart begins to race but it wasn’t the same kind of racing you felt that night at the park with Jungkook. It was more of a “what am I doing here?” kind of nervousness so to speak. Nonetheless you shrug the feeling off.

Jimin, who was originally supposed to be getting an exhibition flyer out of his coat, notices that you have what looks to be a leaf in your hair. Deciding that it was bothering him too much he goes and reaches for it, surprised to be in contact with your lips seconds later. Quickly he pulls away, staring at you wide eyed. Both of your faces now tomato red, as he struggles to form words.

Eyes still widened, he pulls out the folded paper from jacket, once unfolded it reads, “Seoul City’s Annual Public Art Exhibition with a special performance by Seoul’s Contemporary Dance Academy choreographed by Park Jimin.”

“Oh my God—” you manage to breath out, coming to the realization that kissing you was not his attention.

He scratches the back of his neck, “I um, yeah, I’m this year’s choreographer for the city's art exhibition and well I managed to get you a slot so that you could have your very first art piece exhibited,” Jimin feigns an awkward smile, “You know since you’re a painter first before an accountant.” You, still hung up on what was probably the most embarrassing moment of your life, stare at him in complete silence. Everything barely registering in your head.

“Y/N…” he begins the dreadful pity speech by grabbing your hand, “I um,” he lets out an awkward chuckle before continuing, “I like you, I do, but not in that way…”

In the movies, this is where you’re supposed to feel as if your world was crashing down on you, the part where your heart is supposed to sink in complete sadness and you go home a complete crying mess. But rather than feel any of those things, you instead feel …. relief? Yeah, you kissing the boy was embarrassing, but it wasn’t something that was gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. Maybe for a week or two, but not definitely not the rest of your life.

Jimin wonders what’s going through your mind, the apparent smile that suddenly grew on your face telling him that things were going to be just fine, “I sorta um had my eyes on someone else in our friend group…” and with that he gets your attention because you knew exactly who he was talking about.

“Taehyung,” you say, and Jimin silently nods, a laugh emitting from both of your lips.

“Honestly, I’m a little surprised that you even agreed to go out with me, that Jungkook dude seemed like was going to lunge at me any second over there at the supermarket,” Jimin says, “I thought you two were a thing at first.”

You laugh in disbelief, “Me and Jungkook?” you say, scrunching your face.

“Um yeah, it’s not really something shocking,” Jimin laughs, “I mean you two definitely looked like a couple that day, very much doing um couple-like things. Maybe not affectionate wise but I don’t know there were definitely looks and glances being exchanged. But if you say there’s nothing between you two then who am I to argue?” Jimin shrugs his shoulders, a smirk on his face.

“Exactly, who are you to argue,” you dramatically snarl, Jimin throwing his head back in laughter.

“So y/n what do you say about participating in the art exhibition? You know you want toooo,” Jimin sings, pouting his lips. You had forgotten about that for a moment, the embarrassment of the kiss completely fazing you out.

“Oh I don’t know,” you nervously say, you hadn’t seriously painted in such a long time, that chapter in your life being a closed book for quite some time now.

“But y/n—” Jimin begs, “This could be the moment you’ve been waiting for, there’s going to be a lot of professional artists there along with buyers.”

“I just—” something was holding you back from saying yes. Was it fear? Maybe. All you knew was that you couldn't dive into something that you had long given up on, “I don’t think I can,” you ultimately say.

Jimin frowns, “You sure? I can’t hold the slot for too long, and well I was so sure you’d say yes..” You sigh before nodding, confirming that you were saying no.

“Ah okay,” Jimin says, completely understanding, “Come on let’s get you home,” to which you nod, a small sad smile on your face.

By the time you got back home, you wondered if the boys’ were asleep already, hoping at least one of them was awake to talk to, more specifically Hobi, for he always knew what to say when you needed comfort. And so when you opened the door to find the TV still on, but no one in the living room, you were confused to say the least.

You walk towards Hobi’s room, crack open the door, and peep your head in only to find him sound asleep. Did that mean Jungkook was up? Maybe someone just forgot to turn off the TV… with your curiosity getting the best of you, you decide to go Jungkook’s room and check if he was there. With your hand on the knob, you begin to twist it, slowly opening the door until a voice scares you from behind, “What are you doing?” he harshly whispers causing you to yelp in surprise.

“Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God,” you whisper as well, closing his door immediately, “I-I-I thought you were,” you point at his door, unable to complete your sentence.

“I was peeing,” he says, “Did you not see the light on?”

Shaking your head no, you ask, “What are you even doing up this late?”

Jungkook awkwardly stammers, “I um, I just couldn’t sleep,” he says instead of admitting that secretly he was waiting for you to arrive, just to make sure you were safe. Nothing else of course, not like he wanted to know how your date went… “Why are you going into my room without my permission?” he questions.

You scoff, “You always go in mine!” you try your best to keep your voice down, not wanting to wake up a grumpy Hobi, “Why can’t I go in yours?”

“Because you’ve never told me anything against me going into yours,” he argues, “Just because we’re um,” he pauses, struggling to say the word that comes next, “friends… doesn’t mean you get to go snooping around.” What the hell was he hiding in there that you couldn’t go in?

“That’s not fair and you know it,” you complain, ready to cross your arms and complain like a kid, that is until he flicks your forehead with his index finger.

“Ow,” you cry, “What was that for?” you groan, and he shrugs in response.

“I don’t know I just felt like doing it,” he smirks, “your forehead just looks so … flickable.” You narrow your eyes, quickly flicking his in return, garnering an “ow” from him as well.

“Oh you’re gonna pay for that,” he says, and quickly but also softly because you didn’t want to stomp too hard on the floor, you run back to the living room, the two of you now chasing each other around, index fingers ready for some more flicking. Maniacal fits of giggles filling the room as you begin to throw pillows at each other, running around the kitchen island like little kids.

Jungkook, despite being the faster runner, was the one being chased. The closer you got to him, the further you began to reach your arm for his t-shirt, your fingertips always grazing the bottom. But once you finally did, something very unexpected happened. You tripped.

Soon enough, you were hands down on the floor, Jungkook below you, a casualty of your fall. The two of you now facing each other, chests heaving from your game of tag, laughing uncontrollably. Not exactly caring if Hobi, the neighbors, or the rest of the world could hear you.

Gradually, you get off him and instead lay on the kitchen floor right next him, aimlessly staring at the ceiling. A comfortable silence in the air. If someone would’ve told you at the beginning of the year that you and Jungkook would be playing tag in the apartment like little kids, you would’ve told them they were crazy. But yet here you were, heart pounding out of your chest, wanting this moment to remain for as long as it possibly could.

“So…” Jungkook continues to stare at the ceiling, “How’d your date go?”

“It was…” you use the only word that could properly describe it, “embarrassing,” you giggle, recalling what happened. Jungkook looks at you, eager to say the least, to know why.

“Let’s just say I ummm … took some signs completely wrong,” you awkwardly chuckle, “or long story short, I sorta kissed him and well let’s just say he has his eyes on someone else in our friend group.”

Was it wrong for Jungkook to feel happy? Happy that you two didn’t have insane chemistry, become boyfriend and girlfriend, and live happily ever after after like in the fairytales. Of course he wasn’t happy that it was you who went for the kiss, nor that it was who you got rejected, but it was better than you coming in here raving on about Park Jimin, no offense to Jimin.

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says, an attempt to comfort you.

“It’s fine really,” you laugh, “what’s weird was that I didn’t really feel as heartbroken or as sad as I thought I’d be,” you shrug, “I’m just glad it didn’t ruin our friendship or anything. If anything I’m sad about what he offered... “

“What did he offer?” Jungkook’s jaw tightens, but you’re quick to shake your head and sigh.

“He offered me a spot at Seoul’s annual art exhibition, I guess since he choreographed a dance, he was able to talk them into giving him a spot and well I said no,” Jungkook frowns, wondering why you didn’t take the offer, “I just couldn’t see myself doing it… I haven’t painted in what feels like forever and to then have it be seen by thousands of people, yeah I can already feel the anxiety from that. One bad comment and I’m going to have to fake a smile the whole time and cry when I get home.”

Jungkook scoffs, “Who cares what others think? Screw them. I know that it’s rich coming from me, but if you think those people who may insult you or throw some sly comment to get under your skin are better than you in any way then let me tell you, they’re not. And who says you have to take their shit? Stop feeling as if you have to always put on some fake smile for people in order to spare their feelings and start looking out for your own,” Jungkook sits up, looking down on you. “So you know what you’re going to do?”

You stare at him in silence, murmuring a tiny “what?”

“You’re going to text Jimin right now and tell him you’re taking that spot,” Jungkook demands, “and if you don’t then I’ll call him myself and do it for you.” Now it’s your turn to sit yourself right up, waiting for a sign in his eyes that told you he was purely kidding. “Well what are you waiting for?” He eyes your pockets, waiting for you to reach for your phone.

“Jungko—”

“Y/N, you can’t tell me that you’re not feeling sad because you know you’re going to regret saying no to the opportunity,” Jungkook’s voice raises without meaning to, placing his hands on your shoulders, “I don’t have to see a single painting of yours to know that you’re talented, and if people can’t see that then honestly it’s their loss.” You feel your heart swell with every word, slowly pulling out your phone from the back pocket of your jeans.

Jungkook gets up from his position, offering his hand to help pull you up. Once he pulls you, he walks towards the fridge, and takes two pints of ice cream out the freezer. Your face lights up as you watch him get two spoons from the drawer, “Don’t hold it against me, but I bought these after you left just in case you came back a crying mess,” he avoids eye contact with you while handing you your pint, “But heartbreak or not, someone has to eat these. So come on, send that text so we can watch some One Piece.”

“Imagine you would’ve never convinced me to do the art exhibition,” you laugh, gently nudging Jungkook.

“Mm though it could’ve prevented a lot of things, the good definitely outweighed the bad so…” Jungkook pauses, “I guess it just goes to show you have to go through the downs in order to reap the rewards of the up.”

“Now look who's getting all wordy on me,” you tease.

“I guess you’re rubbing off on me more than I’d like to admit,” he pretends to be annoyed by dramatically sighing but a laugh soon follows.

June 2019.

After texting Jimin that you had changed your mind, you began to work on the painting you had brainstormed for the art exhibition, first sketching it out and now well on your way to starting your quite large painting.

Honestly, pulling out your old art tools and portfolio from years ago was nostalgic, bringing you a genuine sense of completeness. To have a decent paying job, the best of friends, and now being able to practice the hobby you had once considered turning into a career was everything you could ask for. But what made you feel even warmer inside was just how supportive Jungkook was of the whole thing, always buying and bringing back art materials for you to use, including different colors of paint. Though most of the time they weren’t really what you considered the best quality, it was the thought that counted.

After your boxing lessons with him, you’d usually go straight to your room to begin working on it, for the first time since you stopped painting feeling actual motivation and creativity flowing through you. Life was good. Not good, amazing.

That was until today, when you noticed Jungkook hadn’t woken you up for your usual Saturday workout. “Maybe he overslept?” you think to yourself, probably had a tiresome night at work yesterday. Slowly you make your way outside his door, gently knocking on the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Nothing. Not a groan, not a “let me sleep”, absolutely nothing. You knock one more time just to make sure, your shoulders dropping once you realize he wasn’t going to open the door. Remembering what he said about entering his room, you decide that if he was having a bad day, it’d just be best to leave him be for the meanwhile.

Things didn’t really start getting alarming until you and Hobi both noticed that he skipped breakfast. His door remaining absolutely closed the whole morning and day, not a peep of sound coming out.

“Hobi, I’m starting to get worried,” your eyes glimmer with concern, “He hasn’t come out all day.”

“I know I am too, but—” Hobi sighs, “I don’t want to pressure him into—” the sound of a door opening quickly grabs your guys’ attention, the two of you silently watching Jungkook come out of his room. The time on the clock reading 6PM, the sun outside beginning to set. Carefully you watch Jungkook come into the kitchen, grabbing nothing more than a water bottle and a couple of snacks.

There’s a redness to his eyes that you’d never seen before, almost as if he had been sobbing. His under eyes were in the early stages of becoming puffy, and his skin seemed a lot paler than usual. You feel your heart sink when the two of you, for a mere second, make eye contact. Quietly he begins to make his way back to his room, but not before you offer him some food.

“Y/N—” Hobi tries to stop you, but you continue nonetheless.

“I made japchae,” you say, “I even added extra mushrooms like how you always like it,” he stares at you in silence, a cold look to his eyes before ignoring you and returning to his room. The door slamming shut once he does. If your heart was sunk already, then it was definitely stomped and ripped into pieces after that.

You turn your attention back to the TV, feeling Hobi’s stare from the side. Suddenly the volume of the TV is lowered and you already know what's coming, “Y/N…” you hear Hobi say, a sad tone behind his voice.

“Hobi don’t,” you cut him off before he could continue, not wanting to receive his pity, “I just don’t feel like hearing it right now.”

Hobi ignores you, knowing you were just putting up a wall as a defense mechanism, “You know he didn’t mean it,” he says, “he’s probably just having a rough day that’s all.”

“Even if he is, why does he still feel the need to just keep it to himself, why can’t he see that he can trust us, that he can trust me? Sometimes it feels like he knows a lot more about me than I know about him—” you rant, trying to keep your voice down so that Jungkook doesn’t hear you from his room.

Hobi sighs, getting up from the couch and grabbing his jacket and keys from the counter, “Put on your shoes,” he says, and you look at him confused before doing as he says and following him outside. The two of you then climb up the fire ladder of your apartment and onto the roof, the view of the stars sending shivers down your spine.

“Okay now sit—” he commands, which you do anyway.

“Why are we even out here?” you question, regretting not bringing your own sweater.

“Because I’m going to tell you a story, and well I don’t want Jungkook hearing us,” he says, making himself comfortable in the spot next to you, “You ready?”

Silently you nod your head yes, and so he continues.

“When I was a kid, I was what you could call ...nerdy … so to speak,” he chuckles, “I had those big ol glasses that made you look like you had fish eyes, I liked reading the Harry Potter books, I didn’t like playing sports like the rest of the boys in my elementary school did, and well in general I just wasn’t like a lot of them,” he pauses to look up at the sky, continuing once he was ready, “Now when you’re in elementary, kids won’t directly bully you, but instead they’ll make little teasing remarks because well ...we’re kids. We don’t know the big curse words yet or what we’re capable of physically. And so as a kid I’d let those jokes slide, I’d let their insults become the label put on me, not knowing the true maliciousness behind it.”

You feel your eyes become glossy, knowing where this was leading, “But the older you get, the more you begin to learn and well soon enough the teasing became full on bullying by middle school. The older kids would make these nicknames for me, and constantly call me them before, during, and after school. Occasionally even following me for a couple of blocks when walking home just to remind me that they had power over me,” Hobi’s voice begins to shake a little, “and well I didn’t know how to speak up for myself, let alone defend myself and so it just became a regular occurrence until on a certain day in middle school,” he pauses, taking a big breath.

“I had been walking home from school that day, and for some reason that day I decided I wanted to take a different route back home, probably because I was hoping the kids who would bully me would decide not to follow me. But boy was I was wrong,” he feigns a laugh, “The route I had taken was right next to the Suyeong River, and well I think it’s important to note that I didn’t know how to swim at the time. I think I personally choose not to remember too much, but one moment I was walking and the next I had my face being pulled in and out of the water, the sounds of laughter being the thing I remember the most from that day,” Hobi closes his eyes, his voice cracking as he continues, “And I just remember thinking how could kids my age be so viscous?” tears begin to silently fall from his eyes, his hands slightly shaking at the recollection of the memory, “I thought this was it, this is the end of the line for me.”

“It wasn’t until I felt the release of my hair and the touch of someone pulling back that the nightmare came to an end,” Hobi wipes his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, “When I finally managed to get some kind of focus on my vision, I’d come to see the boy who was pushing me into the water completely knocked out the floor while the rest of his buddies were running to who knows where,” The scene from the club begins to replay in your head, remembering the person who had gotten there just at the right time.

“And then there was Jungkook, the boy I’d never seen a day in my life , helping me fix myself along with looking for my glasses even after having knocked out that boy with his bare hands. After that me and Jungkook became the best of friends, like actual genuine friends and the bullying had completely stopped. I’d also come to find out that Jungkook was a boxer, and not a casual one, like an “I practice every weekday, weekend, day, and night.” kind of one. He was aiming to go pro, and so he had to put in the time for it. His parents were supportive of it as well, as I think his dad saw the most potential in it.”

Hobi takes a breather before continuing, finding yourself completely immersed in the story, “And so when our senior year came around and I had gotten accepted into SNU, I asked Jungkook what he was planning on doing now that we were graduating. And well that’s when he told me that had gotten an offer to train and compete in the states, where there’d be a lot more tougher competition and where he could really develop the natural talent he had. So on graduation day we had our teary farewell, and I remember telling him that if he ever needed anything and I truly meant anything, that he’d know where to find me.”

“So when years later I received a call at about 2 in the morning, asking if he could redeem the favor he had once done for me so long ago, I knew I couldn’t say no. I don’t know what happened in the states, and I don’t bother to ask him because I know that the day he’s ready to tell me or you, he will. Whatever did happen over there, changed him though. He came back a colder, more rude person, and honestly I thought he’d be like that forever until he started to get to know you,” Hobi smiles, “That’s when I began to see glimpses of the Jungkook I knew from high school again, the one who liked to mess around all the time, and never took himself too seriously.”

“You see y/n, I’m telling you all of this because I want you to know that Jungkook isn’t like us in the way of opening up when he feels sad or mad. He’s used to being the one doing all the protecting and so when he finds himself in a place where he’s overwhelmed by the feelings of sadness or anger, he gives the cold shoulder or becomes someone who isn’t like him at all, in order to avoid talking about it. I think it’s because he doesn’t want anyone to know the burden he carries. To sum it up y/n, Jungkook is the definition of when it rains, it pours … but when it shines, you’ll completely forget it ever rained to begin with,” Hobi pats you softly on the shoulder, “So the best thing you can do right now is let the storm play itself out, so that then you can be there when the rainbow comes back out.”

If only you had listened.

“Ahh so it was Hobi who told you everything,” Jungkook scrunches his face.

“No duhhhhh,” you sing, “Who else could have?”

Jungkook shrugs, “I don’t know, I thought you just magically figured it out on your own,” you’re unsure on whether he’s being sarcastic or not so all you is narrow your eyes at him, deciding to stay silent than make yourself look stupid.

“Mm either way Hobi made a BIG mistake telling me,” you laugh, “because he should've known my nosiness was only going to lead to problems.”

“Tell me about it,” Jungkook teases, resulting in a light smack to the shoulder.

July 2019.

It had been about a month since Jungkook’s change in behavior, his cold demeanor reminding you of when he first moved in months ago. The only time he’d ever leave his room was to go to work, use the restroom, or get his food to take to his room. You had been working on your painting whenever you got the chance, a distraction from the constant concern you felt for Jungkook. You know Hobi said to give it time, but how long would it be until Jungkook decided to finally open up? He couldn’t go on like this forever, could he?

You missed the Jungkook you had gotten to know in the last couple of months, the one who showed you that the tough wall he put up around him was nothing more than an act. That behind it, he was a complete sweetheart who liked drinking his banana milk and watching One Piece whenever he had the chance, the one who constantly liked to steal your things from your room and then replace them with an even better version, the one whose laugh sorta reminded you of Elmo but was still absolutely adorable, and lastly the one who you had found constantly by your side and falling further in love with every waking moment.

Not like, but love. You had come to realize it while you were in bed one night, your only thoughts being thunk all relating to Jungkook in some way. Remembering the number of times this month where you’d find yourself outside his bedroom door, inches away from knocking, knowing that all you needed was for him to open up the door at least once and you’d know everything was going to be okay. Sadly, you’d always find yourself chickening out, Hobi’s words always ringing in your head to serve as a reminder. Jungkook needed space. And as much as you wanted to run up to him and give him a tight hug, you knew you had to respect his boundaries.

So then why was it that today, when you found yourself painting and missing a certain color, a tiny voice in your head was telling you that maybe Jungkook had it… Realistically you knew it wasn’t possible, you had kept track of all your colors from the moment you started, but damn was that voice convincing.

Getting up from the floor, you walk out into the living room, checking around to see if it was there. Hobi, who was currently taking a nap on the couch, seemed completely at peace.

You check his room to see if he has it, but your efforts were to no avail. The only place it had to be was Jungkook’s room. It had to be. At least that’s what you were telling yourself so could finally have an excuse to knock on his door. Making your way to his room, you prepare to knock, your knuckles lightly tapping against the wooden door. But to your surprise the door creaks open, no one presumably in the room…

You could’ve sworn Jungkook was home? You double check the restroom, making sure it wasn’t going to be an incident like last time, but this time he really wasn’t there. The voice of reasoning versus temptation now had you completely torn. You remember the day Jungkook first moved in, and how secretive he got over you seeing whatever it was inside his boxes, and the night after your date and how stern he was about you not entering.

Slowly you push open the door of his room, completely forgetting Hobi’s words and deciding that it was either now or never. You knew you were a pushing boundary that you shouldn’t be, but a part of you also felt like it had to be done. Maybe if you found out what was bothering Jungkook so much, you could help him.

Honestly, you weren't too sure on what you expected when you first entered. Considering how secretive Jungkook was about it, you sorta assumed the room would be all black and have a whole bunch of weird things hanging across the walls, but surprisingly his room looked completely normal. The bed covers were a navy blue color that matched with some of the artwork he had hung across the beige colored apartment walls. The drawers were plain and boring while his desk looked like any other ordinary desk: stacked with random sketches, pens, One piece manga, and printed webtoons. If this is all he was hiding, then it really no made sense because there was literally nothing to hide….

That was until you saw the closed closet door, and once you opened it, you were blown away. For what was behind those closet doors was an entire memorabilia of awards, belts, photos, and trophies which you assumed were all Jungkook’s, newspapers from the states with headlines that spoke of how amazing Jungkook was. Many of them include the words “rising”, “prodigy”, and “the next big thing”. Your eyes try to take everything in all in one go, but it was just so much. There were papers that were written about him even when he was a kid, pictures of his with several belts around his waist amazed you. This was insane.

But it wasn’t until you noticed the newspaper headline of the paper hung right in the center of the practical shrine that the smile from your face fell, as it read, “Prodigy Jeon Jungkook, K.O’d in Round 12 against Brandon Star.” You look at the date, and everything begins to start making sense. The date which read December 1, 2018, only a couple of weeks prior to your first meeting with him at New Years, the churning feeling in your stomach only becoming heavier as you read the newspaper next to it. “Rising Star, Jeon Jungkook, disappears. Where is he now?” it reads, and as you skim through the different articles, the whole memorabilia shrine begins to make sense. Jungkook didn’t have this here for the purpose of maintaining old memories, but for the purpose of constantly reminding himself of what he once was and how he ended up failing, torturing himself to say the least. It’d explain his pent up anger when you first met him, the scar was still fresh.

Grabbing one of the trophies from the memorabilia desk, you observe the glass material and admire its fine detail, Jungkook’s name written in cursive underneath the title. Slowly your fingers graze over it, whispering his name to yourself, “Jeon Ju—”

“What do you think you’re doing?” a voice harshly interrupts, scaring you and causing you to jump. The slippery trophy in your hands falling to floors, several pieces of glass now shattered onto the floor. Turning to face the owner of the voice, your heart stops when you find Jungkook staring at the floor, an expressionless look on his face.

“I—” your brain completely freezes, only staring at his balled up fist which was becoming more red with every passing second.

“I told you—” he closes his eyes, letting out an exasperated breath, “I told you to stay the fuck out of my room,” he finally snaps, his enraged voice echoing across the walls of the room, “So then why, why the fuck are you in here right now!” he moves towards you, his face now becoming red in anger. Not caring whether he was stepping on glass or not.

“I know but—”

He cuts you off, “But fucking what? There’s no reason you should even be in here right now y/n! None!” he screams, his rage only furthering with every word. Tears begin to well up in your eyes as you stammer to defend yourself. “How would you feel like if I barged into your room and destroyed something personal of yours, huh?”

All you can do is stare at him, never seeing him this enraged before, the sight definitely a scary one, “Answer me goddamit!” he yells, his fist still balled up, holding himself back from punching anything. He looks down at the broken glass one more time, his chest now heaving in anger before storming out the room.

Quickly you follow him, chills going down your spine when you see him turn to your room.

“What are you—” you begin, but it’s too late. Everything happens in slow motion, from the fist being thrown to the sound of the canvas you’d been working so long on cracking, several holes and rips appearing soon after. You look at the scene in front of you in silence, shock running through your veins, and the need to vomit stronger than ever before. Jungkook breathes heavily, staring at what he’s just done, not feeling a single ounce of remorse.

The closing feeling in your throat is one that’s too overwhelming, but the anger you were now feeling was even stronger, “What is wrong with you,” you whisper, tears falling down from your eyes, a look of terror overtaking your face, “What is wrong with you!” you scream, lips trembling as your voice breaks at just how loud you were. Jungkook feels his blood run cold, taken back by your sudden outburst.

“I have been nothing but kind to you since the day we’ve met, nothing but!” you yell, hot tears uncontrollably falling from your hysteria.

Jungkook scoffs, yelling right in return, “Do you want some kind of reward for that? Is that it? Is that all this is? Another ego booster for you so you can pat yourself on the back and say you’re a good person!”

“I don’t need anything from anyone! Especially not from someone like you,” you spit, Jungkook’s jaw clenching at your response.

“Ah I knew that nice ol princess act was nothing more than mere bullshit,” he bitterly laughs, “finally had enough of your whole little treat everyone with kindness moral?” he mocks you.

“It’s not a fucking act, I’m just not a miserable person like you!” you grit your teeth, the temptation to throw something at him at an all time high.

“No you just live in this big old fantasy bubble that’s got you believing that kindness solves all the world's problems!”

“Yeah well it’s better than thinking that being a fucking prick to the rest of the world gets you anywhere, I mean look at where you’re at now!” you yell, knowing you were treading on thin ice, but you didn’t care at all anymore. The ice was shattered the moment he destroyed your painting, “I understand that I made a mistake going into your room, but you don’t have to take the rest of your miserable life out on me! You think everyone around you wants to be some kind of punching bag all the time for you?” the veins in your neck begin to pop out, and you almost feel as if your chest was going to physically explode at any moment, “How dare you come in here and treat everyone around you like complete shit all because you’re living a sad tragic life!”

“That’s not true,” he snarls, a scowl on his face.

“Isn’t it?” you scoff, “You’ve done it since the first day you got here, and so let me do the favor of telling you the truth and giving you a goddamn reality check! We’re all sick and tired of it! Just because you’re miserable doesn’t mean you get to make everyone around you as well! And let me tell you, I’ll be damned if I let someone like you make me just as rotten as yourself,” and for a small second you see the hurt across Jungkook’s face, and you think maybe you’ve gone too far.

Maybe this could’ve all been prevented had you never entered his room. But then you think to yourself that no, this was bound to happen. This was always going to happen whether you liked it or not. The questions had always just been: when was it going to happen and what was going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back? By now both of your chests are heaving, and there’s a silence that fills the room. Time acts as nothing more than an illusion.

“Is that what you really think?” he says, a cold hardened expression on his face again, “That I make you miserable?” You look at the destroyed painting on the floor, a symbol that despite building and making something so beautiful, all it took was one slip of the finger for it all to go down the drain. Without saying anything, you slowly nod to him, the emptiness in your heart acting as a driving force.

“What the—” Hobi walks in the room, dazed and confused, “What the fuck is going on in here?” He asks, but the two of you remain silent, continuing to stare at one another.

That is until Jungkook breaks away from the stare, muttering a small “nothing,” under his breath, walking out of the room and going back to his own, the door loudly slamming shut.

“Y/N…” Hobi begins, but you cut him off before he even gets the chance, a tiresome expression on your face.

“Hobi,” you shake your head, “Just leave me alone!,” you snap at him, but it comes out more as a plea than a demand, voice completely weary. Hobi stares at you for a moment before doing so, gently closing the door when making his way out. Once you hear the sound of the door close, you squat down to the floor, fingers grazing the painting you’d work so hard on, a muffled sob finally escaping from your lips.

a/n: whew! originally this was supposed to be nothing more than a small drabble, but as i kept writing it just ended becoming this monstrous of a fic that i had to split into two lmao. hopefully i didn’t make the switches between present day and the past too confusing for y’all. part two will probably be up by next friday, once my finals week is over :)) any messages, anons, comments, reblogs, and like are appreciated! see y’all next time! 💞

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blogevaawrites · 3 years

Text

BIG DEAL

Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: smut, cheating, angst

Summary: After being away of you boyfriend for three weeks, you come to Chris’s house after he had thrown a party where you met a girl you haven’t see ever. The beginning of the relationship was unconventional so you couldn’t do anything else but suspect.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Epilogue

“It’s not fair” the voice from de other side of the phone was deep, he was slurring his words. I did recognize it, it was hard to forget it, but it was quite odd hearing him like that, so drunk that he couldn’t speak.

“Chris? It’s 3:00 am. I was sleeping.” I said sitting on the bed better.

“Oh yeah? How does that feel? You know what? I was doing it fine. I let you go; I was getting you out of my head. Why it's so fucking easy for you to get into it?” he sounded sad and mad at the same time.

“Chris, I’m sorry if what I told you hurt your feelings, it was mean, I know. I'm really sorry. Your personal life is not my business anymore.” He didn’t let me finish. He wasn’t interested in my apologies.

“I wanted everything of that with you. I wanted a wedding, I wanted to find a fucking house together, a big fucking house to have a big fucking family. I made up my mind to have kids, adopt two and maybe have one, because that was your dream family. And fuck! I wanted it so much, I wanted to be part of that fucking dream so much. I don't want it if you aren't in the equation. Why it's so hard to believe for you? Why don't you want everything of that just with me? It's not fucking fair, why are you still in my head? How can you be so collected?” his words brought me back to the time I told him my dream.

He was staying in my apartment after being away for a couple weeks, he couldn’t sleep because of the jetlag and I wasn’t tired either, he was happy for my sleeplessness, he hated being alone in somebody’s else house. We went to get a few donuts, one of the perks of living in NY was, no matter what time is it, you can always find some food.

I remembered we walked the entire night, just talking, enjoying each other’s company.

He told me about his family, about his relationships with his parents, with his siblings and he explained to the adoption’s process of his sister. I told him about my workmate who thought that adopting a child and having a baby was not the same, that he wouldn’t take care of a someone’s child. He was so absorbed in his donut that he responded without looking at me.

“Sorry, if he’s your friend, but he’s an idiot. Being a parent is about loving, taking care of and protecting a child, not a biological relation.” I saw him in a different way, in that moment I realized I loved him. He continued in his unawareness and asked me about my family, and my dream family.

I told him about what kind a family I wanted. I wanted to have a big one, a big house, a couple animals and a house in the woods. He laughed “I would never have said you were like that.”

“What? Why?” I tried to look offended, but it wasn’t the first time I got that. “I don’t know, you love living here, your tiny apartment and your demanding job.” he was right, I loved that, but I had always lived by my own, I was used to it. “My apartment it’s not tiny.”

“Honey, you don’t have a dog because of it.” He spoke. “It’s a standard-sized apartment in NY” I defended “That is just another statement in my favor” he laughed.

“Are you okay?” I asked coming back to the reality.

“I thought I was until I saw you. How can you be so happy? Why can you live without me when I’m not able…” he blurted out all his inside feelings, I knew him, I knew he wouldn’t tell me those things if he was sober or calm. He is so impulsive. I knew he was going to regret it later. “Chris…” I interrupted him but he didn’t stop. “Fuck, I miss you and I don’t want to.”

“I’m sorry” I said calmly. He didn’t respond. The line was alive, but he was in completely silence. “Chris?” and I didn’t hear nothing else.

I put my phone back on my nightstand while the conversation came to my mind. I don’t usually come to L.A, but I was Linda’s birthday, and we came to celebrate it. The club was new and kind of exclusive, I shouldn’t have been so surprised of finding him there.

He was chatting with a girl; I couldn’t see her face, but I could see him. He was so close to her, caressing his arm and touching her face. I wasn’t sure if I was on his vison, but it hurt me a bit he didn’t notice me.

The night went fine, I tried to forget about him and enjoyed the rest of the night. At some point, I went out to smoke a cigarette, I wasn’t a smoker but sometimes it feels good.

“Can I have one?” he said, I recognized his voice, I could feel his presence. I turned around to face him. I handed him one cigarette, trying to look calm. “Thank you.” He said with a smile. We stared for a few minutes until he spoke. “You look gorgeous. Your hair in that way, it has always been my favorite.” I give him a little smile as a thank you. “You look...taken.” I said, I shouldn’t have, he was free to do what he wanted. I had to admit that it bothered me, I got jealous. He didn’t look bother, anyway. He shook his head with a shy smile. “Well, you’re wrong. I’m completely single.”

“Is she aware of that? It doesn’t work if one of both doesn’t know it.” I said, he didn’t look hurt or annoyed by my words. He looked cheerful. “Ouch! Low blow. She is, don’t worry.” He said, looking at me right into my eyes. He is so flirty with a few drinks. “We are just friends. I’m not very good at relationships.” He spoke.

“I wouldn’t say that you’re not very good at it, you just miss the monogamy part. I thought you were ready to settle down. I guess they’re right, talk is cheap.” I threw out my wasted cigarette and was ready to say goodbye, but his face changed. He looked mad then, he didn’t say anything, but I noticed his mood wasn’t the same. I went too far. He got inside the club before me, without a word.

In the morning, I checked my phone. He didn’t call me again, but he did send me text.

“Sorry about last night, I shouldn’t have call you I was drunk and being an asshole. I`m so sorry. I won’t bother you again. Take care of yourself!”

After the day he left, we didn’t talk for three months. We didn’t have a tough conversation since then. He sent me flowers with a simple note for my birthday but nothing else.

“Hey girl! Why are you up so early?” Linda spoke, entering the room. “It’s 1 p.m.” I said joking. “Whatever! It’s my birth-weekend, if I said it’s early it is” she said with a big smile. “Why are you awake? We needed this, enjoy it and go back to bed.” she asked again.”

“I saw Chris last night” I said simply. “Where? At the club? I didn’t see him. Are you okay?” she got worry.

“Yes, at the club. And yes, I’m okay. We talked and I was being mean and kind of a bitch. He got mad and called me later. It was weird.” I responded.

“Why were you being mean? Did he tell you something?”

“He was with somebody. I don’t know, I got jealous.” It was hard for me to admit that I wasn’t like that I was completely against that but couldn’t help it.

“It’s normal, you were deeply in love with him.” He said before kissing me head.

We walked around the city and get lunch at a very nice and modern place. I didn’t think about him for the rest of the day.

“I know he lied and cheated but he is so fucking good looking.” Lucy commented suddenly. All of us got confuse until I turned around to see what she was staring at. A big billboard promoting his new film. Indeed, he was hot but in the picture he was breathtaking.

“Isn’t a shit that he is everywhere? I mean he is your ex.” Vanessa asked eating his meal.

“Yes. I guess.” I said simply. The topic of the conversation didn’t last long.

I didn’t realize he was everywhere until she mentioned it. The rest of the day he was in everything, Instagram, TV, even in the street.

I couldn’t take him out of my head.

“You are on every-fucking-where. Your face is all over this place.” I laughed, entering his house, he was filming something in L.A and I got a few days off to be with him. He was the face of a new fragrance so pictures of him were everywhere. For the first time in our relationship, I realized how famous he was. L.A was the place where I was with an actor and the rest of the world I was just with a guy. We were getting home from a night out. We were kind of drunk, not too much but in a very happy mood. “Oh! Shut up!” he said laughing. “Oh! Sorry sir, I don’t want to bother a such an important person. I will be a good girl.” I mocked, before I could do anything else, he took my face to his. “Will you?” he asked seductively, he kissed me deeply, holding my face firmly. His touches were always like that, comforting, protective and loving. I nodded smiling, unable to say anything with his mouth on mine. “Even L.A is a nice place when you are here.” He muttered against my cheek. His hands flew to my thighs to pick me up and take me to his room. Slowly, he took off my dress and helped me to get out of shoes. Just in my underwear, he smiled at me, and rubbed his gingers through my collarbones, the middle of my breast, my stomach and played with the band of my panties. “Haven’t you come out of my dreams?” he said. I moved my arms up to cover myself, laughing at his comment. “Alcohol makes you sappy.” I spoke. He took my hands to bring me closer to him “It makes me honest.” He kissed me and continued “Not even alcohol makes you speak. You’re such a cold heart chick, aren’t you?” he joked, I knew he was playing because he was smiling and kissing me but that wasn’t the first time, he insinuated something like that. “Chris…”

“I’m just joking, relax.” I let it go because I knew he was kind of right, I’m not a very affective person, or someone who loves to talk about love, but I was working on it.

At night we went to another club, it was a chill night, so we didn’t drink, we just talked and ate. When we wanted to go back to our rented house, we took a taxi but in the middle of ride I realized I left my jacket at the wardrobe’s club.

“Don’t worry! Get inside! I will be back in a couple minutes.” I said while the girls got out of the taxi.

I went back to the club, looking for my jacket. I asked the girl in charge of the wardrobe for it, she looked at me for a little bit too long. She handed my jacket and asked. “Sorry for question, but your face looks so familiar to me. Weren’t you Chris Evans’s girlfriend?” I got uncomfortable and she noticed. “I don’t want to bother you, it just I remember your face from where I used to work in. I worked in a restaurant in NY for a long time, and you and Chris used to go there, quite a lot.” She explained, I remembered her then, it was one of our favorite restaurants, and she was one of the waitresses. “Oh, yeah I remember you, Hi.” I spoke.

“We weren’t allowed to talk to our costumers there, I just wanted to tell you that you both make such a good couple, me and the other girls were in love with you guys.” She made me smile. We said goodbye and I left the place with him in my head.

“Okay, I’m ready. We can go.” I said to my driver, he was nice enough to wait for me to get my jacket. “Back to the house, right?” he asked turning on the engine. “No, can you take me here?” I asked, showing him the address on my phone.

I didn’t want to think about it twice. I wanted to see him.

As soon as we were near to his house, I realized I didn’t know where he was, he doesn’t come to LA until he has to. He was here yesterday but that was all I knew.

I got out of the taxi. “Do you want me to wait, or should I go?” the driver asked. For a few minutes I didn’t know what to do, and I saw the driver’s face was sightly impatient. “You can go, thank you.” I answered quickly, I wanted to see his face.

I rang the bell; I held my breath and I hoped he was there.

I waited for what I thought it was an eternity, but it was just two minutes.

I hear his voice on the intercom, and I blocked. “Who is it?” I couldn’t talk. I forgot how to speak. He waited not long before turning on the camera. I saw the red light and I knew he could see me. I didn’t say anything, and the sound of the door opening brought me back.

I walked to the house, and I just could see his silhouette because of the darkness.

“Are you trying to get even?” he joked, “Sorry to tell you, but you’re not as much intimidating as I can be, you can’t scare me”.

I didn’t respond, I kept walking in silence until I was at his door. Face to him. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?" he asked, suddenly worry about my state. I guess my expression was concerning.

“I’m sorry.” I just could say.

“Don’t worry, you can come whenever you want.” He spoke.

“I don’t mean that. I’m sorry…” I wanted to explain but he interrupted me.

“Hey! If this is about the call, don’t worry. I was being irrational, please! Just ignore it.” He looked shy.

“Can we talk?” I asked, I was feeling uncomfortable being outside. Before he could speak a woman’s laugh sound from inside the house, I realized he wasn’t alone. I blocked again. Him not being at home was an option, but I didn’t imagine that he could be with someone else.

“Oh! Shit! I should have called. I’m sorry,” I said, and I started to walk away. He looked confused for a few seconds before getting my arm. “Holy crap! No! Stop! It is not what you think! It’s Tara and Scott” he yelled.

I turned around and he continued “I had a few meetings here and they are spending the weekend here.” I felt the embarrassment going over my body. “We can go inside but they will be around. We can walk around the neighborhood, believe me it’ll be more private.” He suggested. I doubted for a second, but I nodded, he was right we’ll have more privacy.

“Okay! Wait a minute! I need my shoes.” He said before going back inside the house.

I started to regret, I wasn’t sure why I was there, what I wanted or anything. Before I could make any decision, he was back. He closed the door and started to walk by my side.

We walked for a few minutes, in completely silence. Our appearance was kind of odd, he was wearing sweatpants, an unmatched hoodie, and a pair of sneakers. In another hand, I was wearing a midi black dress, my shoulders were free and my feet in super high heels.

“Aren’t you cold? It’s kind of chill, isn’t?” he asked, breaking the silence, and starting to unzip his hoodie.

“No, I’m fine.” I knew he was trying to start a conversation, but I just didn’t know what to do.

“Great.” he said awkwardly. The silence came back. We just walked around the houses, there wasn’t many, but they were big enough to get us tired.

“So, how have you been? I heard about your promotion, I know you were trying to get it.” he asked, he knows if I was nervous, he had to keep up with the conversation.

“I’ve been fine, and yeah I got so excited for the promotion. Linda threw a party.” I told him. “I know, I saw a few pictures on Instagram.” He said quickly. Letting me know he had been stalking me. I looked at him in the eyes and he got what I was thinking about. He wrinkled his eyebrow trying to think how get out of judgment. “Okay! I could say you were suggested by the logarithm but, whatever, I was just curious. I have the normal curiosity of an ex-boyfriend, of a non psycho ex-boyfriend.” He explained shyly. He made me laugh and that made him smile. I felt more relaxed then.

“I’m sorry for being so mean at the party.” I spoke. His smile vanished and he started to shake his head slowly. “it wasn’t my business…”

“Hey! No! it’s fine, I was being too sensitive. I know you were joking. Don’t think about it. My call was completely out of place.” He spoke.

“I wasn’t joking, I was having an attack of jealousy.” I told him the truth. I had had a few with being his girlfriend but I didn’t admit it so I was a big statement for me.

“Well, you shouldn’t have…” I knew he was being nice enough not to make me feel even more humiliated. I interrupted him.

“I know, I know you’re free to…” I tried to explain but he spoke over me.

“You shouldn’t have because she is just a friend” he saw in my face a smirk that got him know what I was thinking about he used to have a lot of just-a-friend‘s friends. “A normal, regular, simple friend. We have been friends for years. Actually, I think you know her, she was Jessica, do you remember her?” I nodded, we used to go out with her when we were in L.A but we didn’t come very often. He didn’t like it and I was more than happy to be in N.Y.

“Great, can we pretend I didn’t say I was jealous? I feel ridiculous now.” I joked, he smiled at me and guided me to sit in a bench. “Now we’re even, you have my mortifying call, and I got your brutal honesty.” It was weird how I felt around him, after all that time, he could make me feel butterflies. I was still in love with him.

“I was being completely serious when I told you I was ready to settle down with you. You don’t understand how fucking different everything was with you, and when I realized how important you were to me, it was too late. I know I don’t have any right to be upset because I was the one who fucked everything up, but these past months I have been irrationally mad at you. I felt that you were taking my future with you away from me” he said laughing at himself. I was surprised by his words.

“I know, it’s a shitty though.” He continued when he saw my unbelieving face. “but these couple months have been awful, I haven’t felt like this before. I went to therapy and I realized that I’ve been sabotaging my relationships for a very long time. I didn’t think of it as a problem but then, I lost you and our relationship, and everything changed.” I kept quiet, astonished by his words.

“Chris…”

“No! Please, let me tell you something first. I’m sorry, for everything; for making you go through all of that, for not loving you how you deserve to be loved. I’m going to regret what I did for the rest of my life. I just want you to know that I truly loved you. Fuck! I’m still in love with you, I guess this kind of love doesn’t go away so easily.” He said, making my eyes get wet.

“Why didn’t tell me anything of this before?” It was everything I could say.

“Because you were right; what we had, wasn’t going in the right direction. You deserved better. And to be honest I was afraid to see you again, I wanted to leave you alone as you told me and even now, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do that.” His speech left mute. I didn’t know why I came and now I wasn’t feeling any better.

I got up, and without a word I started to walk back to his house; I could feel his anxiety for my silence, but he didn’t say anything.

“It wasn’t all bad, was it?” I said in a try to cool off the situation.

“You were the best part of my life, honey. Of course, it wasn’t all bad!” he said uncomplainingly. That took every word off of my mouth.

After a big deep breathe I said, “I’m sorry for being so cold in our relationship.” He tried to stop me, but I didn’t let him. “I’m not very good at showing love, I know it hurt you in order of how you are, but I really tried to make it better.” I knew he hate that about me, not just avoiding the word -I love you- but I used to avoid expressing every feeling. I was a very lonely person so I didn’t know how to do it.

“I love every aspect of you, honey. You shouldn’t feel sorry for anything” he said. I knew he was right but I couldn’t help it.

“I should leave, it’s getting too late. I’m sorry for bothering you.” I said, he looked confused, but he didn’t say anything. We walked back to his house silently.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked when we were getting close to his entry’s house. I nodded “Why you came? It’s not like I don’t love to see you or know about you, but it was unexpected. And I don’t believe you came to say sorry.” He commented.

I didn’t answer right away. I didn’t have a reason to come.

“I honestly don’t know.” I said after a couple minutes. ”I saw a billboard announcing your new film. I remembered you. I started to think about you, about us. I just felt the need to see you.” I explained. He nodded and opened the door. “Give me a second, I will give you a ride,” before I could say no, he was inside the house.

I waited for him, getting close to his car and I remembered the first time he brought me to this house, I just moved to NY at that time, and we weren’t anything more that friends. He was being so talkative during our way to this house, which it wasn’t odd, but something told me he was overexcited. We spent literally every minute of the week together, he was a fun guy to be around, and the sex was explosive. The last night, he set up a romantic dinner in the garden and showed me what he was so excited about.

“What’s this?” I asked surprised, holding the little box he handed me.

“It’s a gift.” He said simply, smiling at me. “Come on! Open it.”

It was a pendant, the one we saw in London, when I was visiting him while he was filming. After our first date in the airport, we kept in touch by texting, when he had to fly back to London for work, he asked me to visit him. We went for a walk one day and we passed by an antique jewelry store. I realized it was similar to one pendant my mom used to wear, I didn’t know he was paying me attention.

“It’s beautiful!” I just could say.

“It is! Just like you.” I wasn’t sure what was the meaning of the gift, that weekend in London was months ago. He saw my expression and kept talking. “I knew this was going to make you happy. I want to make you happy. Just you.” He was asking for exclusivity, and I wanted the same thing. I couldn’t say anything because he spoke” You don’t need to say anything right now…” I kissed him deeply before he could continue. I straddled him “Should I assume you want the same thing?” he said between kisses. I nodded smiling while he moved us to the seat next to the outdoor fireplace. He rolled my skirt up in my waist, leaving my butt free just covered it by his hands. He felt my uncomfortableness and said, “Don’t worry, nobody can see us.” I looked at him questioningly by his conviction. “I promised. Trust me.” he said kissing my neck. ”Do you trust me?” he asked again. I did, I trusted him, I’ve sent him nudes, told him my deepest secrets or my filthiest thoughts. “I do” I simply said.

Trusting him became our biggest issue, maybe our only one, but it was enough to break us.

I missed him.

In the car, he asked me where I was staying, and he drove us through L.A’s midnight.

“Are you seeing somebody?” he asked suddenly after I quite long conversation about my promotion and his new project. “You don’t have to answer. I’m sorry if it’s too nosy.”

“No.” I answered, and a little smile appeared on his face. “Are you happy about my loneliness?” I joked, he chuckled.

When arrived, I said goodbye and got out of the car. I didn’t hear him getting out too.

“Hey” he called. Holding me from my arm. “Is it too bold to ask you out?” he saw my surprising face and kept on “Maybe when you are back in NY, I could go and have a date.” He spoke rapidly.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” I wasn’t sure about what to say, I wanted to yell yes, but leaving him was the most painful thing I’ve done. I couldn’t handle it again.

“I don’t know. To be honest I just really need you in my life again. I feel completely empty without you.” He spoke. “You don’t have to answer right now. Just think about it. Okay?” He said, I nodded, and he started to walk back to his car. Before he could leave me again, the words just came out of my mouth without any warning. “Yes”

He turned over to see me again “Are you sure?” he looked surprised. “Yes”

“I can wait.” He said with a big smile in his face. “I don’t think I can.”

TAG LIST: @breezykpop @calwitch @firoozehmoon @moonlacebeam @denisemarieangelina

#Chris Evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fic #chris evans imagine #chris evans smut #chris evans fluff #CHRIS EVANS ANGST #angst #fluff #Smut #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans and reader #fanfic #fan

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onionsaremeansstuff · 3 years

Text

You should have begged me to stay

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Gender: Angst & Fluff

Summary: Jensen is never home and you can’t stand this anymore

I dont own the character or the gif

Beta’d by @chaoticgaysstuff

Your relationship with your husband, Jensen was something.

You two have known each other since you were kids. He was pretty much your best friend. You two played together when you were kids and knew that you two would be close forever.

When you were 9 years old, you declared each other as boyfriends without really knowing what that meant because you both were two innocent children.

But as it turns out, you both were still boyfriends now that you weren't the innocent child you used to be.

As years passed, you both loved each other more than you did before. Hugs that you both gave each other when you were children turned into a pretty heated make out session that was behind closed doors.

When Jensen first told you how he wanted to become an actor, you supported him like you always did.

"I will never abandon you." Was what you had told him that night.

If only you knew everything that would happen with him becoming a world famous actor.

Hollywood wasn't the most acceptable place for LGBTQ people, so you both kept your relationship a secret, but there comes a price to pay when hiding something sometimes.

With each passing year, Jensen almost always became unavailable to you. You barely spent any time with him anymore.

Hell, you two only spent a minimum of two months together last year.

You were very frustrated, especially with that woman being Jensen's beard.

Now, you didn't have anything against her. You actually liked her, but she took a lot of time that you and Jensen were supposed to be spending together by pretending they were in a relationship.

And honestly, sometimes you felt that you weren't Jensen's true love.

---

Jensen would be back today from a trip and you were really excited. It has been so long since you've seen him. You couldn't wait to throw yourself in his huge arms along with having a night where you could talk about everything and nothing. Just like old times.

And as hours passed, Jensen still hasn't come home yet.

You've been sending him messages, but they were just left on delivered. He hasn't opened any of them and you were starting to get worried.

Was his flight delayed? Or did something come up? Was there an accident?

You paced back and forth, your mind consumed with worry.

---

When 3 AM came, the front door to the house opened and Jensen entered. You stood up from your spot on the couch, feeling fully awake and ran over to him. As you got closer to him, you immediately knew what he was doing.

Jensen stunk of alcohol and you noticed a purple mark on his neck.

What happened to you?" You asked, feigning Innocence.

"N- Nothing. I was at Jared's place and he had a party." He spoke, voice slightly slurred and you could tell that he was drunk.

"You know, a phone call or text message wouldn't kill you." You said and he snorted, walking straight to y'all room, completely ignoring you.

Jensen threw himself on the bed, falling asleep immediately before you could talk to him.

You sighed and went to sleep in the guest room. The smell of alcohol was essentially too much and you couldn't sleep next to him.

---

The next morning you prepared breakfast for you and your husband.

Although you were still a little hurt because of last night, you knew that it was because Jensen was drunk. So, you decided to make breakfast for him and actually talk to him.

When breakfast was ready, you went to wake him up as you grabbed some medicine for his hangover.

But, looks like he wouldn't need it after all, seeing how he wasn't in the room.

You searched every part of the house but there was no sign of him at all. You took out your phone to call him when a message popped up on his phone.

“D and I are going to breakfast and then will be spending time in the mountains. I'll be back next week.” ~Jensen.

As you read over that message, you let out a humorless laugh.

You barely spend any time with your husband and when he finally comes home, he decides to spend time with her. You cook nice and he's not here to even eat it.

And apparently he gave her a nickname, too.

You loved Jensen from the bottom of your heart, but you couldn't take this anymore. You couldn't take being the only one putting in any effort into this relationship, or if it could even be called that. You couldn't take being the one to text him first only to not receive a response. Couldn't stand being the person who waited for him to come home, only to never really come home.

You've had enough.

---

Jensen had texted you that he was coming home in an hour.

Your bags were packed with all of your clothes and stuff, and placed into your suitcase.

"This is for your own good, Y/N." You told yourself once again.

You glanced around your house one more time. So many memories have been here. Happy memories of you and him. They seem like distant memories now.

The door to the house opened and for the first time, you didn't meet him at the door like you'd usually do.

Jensen was surprised by this, having expected it. He walked over to you.

You didn't have the courage to end like this. Maybe he'll wake up and see what he has been putting you through.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to sleep. In a few hours I'm going to Vancouver."

You looked at him and managed to mask the hurt and anger that made it's way onto your face. Looks like he still hasn't realized.

You shook your head, "No your not. We're going to talk right now."

"Look Y/N I'm tired and-"

"You always seem to be tired when you're with me, right?" You interrupted him, standing up and looking at him in the eyes, "Always tired and can never have time with me. Can never stay with me."

Jensen looked at you confused, "What, Y/N? What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about our relationship being one huge joke, Jensen." You stated.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked, not understanding what you are trying to say.

"You're never at home, Jensen! I always have to be the one to try and make our relationship work and you seem to be looking for an excuse to get away from me. Hell, last year we barely spent two months together!" You snapped.

Jensen laughed sarcastically before looking at you angrily, "Well, I'm sorry that I have to work. I forgot how selfish you could be. I need time to myself. It's not easy working my ass off to give this life. This rich life." He growled.

"Oh, well I'm sorry that wanting to spend time with my husband is selfish. And do you really think I care about being rich? I loved you since you had to ask money to buy candy. I never cared about money. I always wanted you and you clearly can't see how unhappy I've been."

The eyes that once looked at you with love now looked at you with hatred.

Jensen didn't answer for a second, thinking as he looked down at the ground before snorting and looking at you, "If you are so unhappy then why don't you just leave."

You looked at him with sadness in your eyes.

That was it.

Jensen no longer cared about your relationship and he didn't even fight for you. Or even try to make things better between you both. He just gave up.

Just like that.

And you felt your heart break.

"If this is what you want. I'll leave." You stated, trying your best not to cry in front of him.

You left the room and went to get your bag and from the bedroom, you heard the sound of Jensen's car engine taking off down the road.

You sighed as you looked around this room looking one last time.

'Do it for your own good Y/N.' You thought as you walked out of the house.

---

Seven months have passed since your break up with Jensen and you hadn't been doing well.

Jensen was someone who was always there for you since you were a kid. Not talking to him was a completely strange and new sensation to you.

You couldn't help but think about him.

When you saw something funny or when you had a nightmare you would always call Jensen.

Sometimes, you'd have your phone in your hand with his contact information, ready to call him.

'Would he answer me?' You asked yourself.

You shook your head, "He doesn't care about you. Move on." You muttered.

Both of your lives went on without one another.

"You will survive Y/N." You told yourself, "You got this man."

---

You were sitting in the cafe that was across the street from your job. The place was pretty empty and you sat there in a booth with a cup of coffee, enjoying the peaceful silence.

The place was in complete silence, except for a small TV near your table which was playing something.

You weren't paying attention to it until you heard the name Jensen Ackles coming on the TV.

"The actor, Jensen ackles who is best known for his role as Dean Winchester on the TV show supernatural, posted a video saying that he and Danneel Harris have been in a fake relationship for years."

Your eyes widened, staring at the TV as you sipped on your coffee.

"Well, there is no reason for him to keep her as his beard anymore. He must have found someone he really loves now." You sighed in exasperation.

"The actor also stated that this fake relationship has cost him a lot, especially the relationship with the love of his life." The anchor said but you didn't care.

---

You arrived at your old house after a long and exhausting day of work.

After your parents died, you refused to sell your old house. Jensen always said that it didn't make sense since you lived with him. Nowadays, you are grateful for not selling it.

You threw yourself on the couch and fell asleep quickly.

---

You were woken up later by a knock on the door.

"Who the fuck could be at the door this late at night?" You pondered, getting up off the couch and walking over to the door.

You opened the door, not fully awake and your eyes only half open, "What?"

"Can I talk to you, Y/N?" The sound of Jensen's voice made your eyes open, feeling fully awake at the moment.

Jensen stood in front of the door, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers.

You stared at him before slamming the door in his face.

"Y/N, please open the door!" Jensen pleaded and you didn't respond, "I'll climb into your window, or break your door down and you know I can." He threatened and you sighed, opening the door for him.

Jensen was wearing Dean Winchester's classic smile as he held the flowers out to you.

"A beautiful thing for a beautiful thing." You looked at the flowers before looking at him again as you gave him a look that said, 'Just get on with it already.'

"Teenage you would have loved the fact that I gave you flowers." Jensen said as you took the flowers out of his hand. He walked over to sit on the couch.

"Teenage me believed you cared about me." You spoke up, and placed the flowers on the counter and walked over to him. You stood with your arms crossed as you waited for him to speak.

Jensen opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

If you don't tell me what you came here to tell me, I'll call the cops." You said seriously.

"I'm sorry." Jensen spoke quickly and you waited for him to continue.

An awkward silence took over for a few seconds before Jensen coughed.

"If that's all you have to say, then you can get out of here." You exclaimed, turning away from him.

"Y/N I'm an idiot, okay?"

You nodded, "Yeah, you are."

"And I regret what happened that day. I should have asked you to say instead of telling you to leave."

"You should've but didn't. Close the door on the way out, will ya?"

"Y/N I-"

"Look Jensen, I don't know what game you are playing, or if your just desperate for sex. Or if the person you were staying with dumped you, but I will not continue to give my all to someone that isn't given back. You can leave."

"I'm not dating anyone Y/N, and I'm not here for sex." Jensen sighed, "I'm a complete idiot. I was so used to you being there that I was never aware of how much I needed you. "Jensen looked down at the ground as he spoke.

"Ever since you've been gone, I missed you like crazy and all I wanted was to hear the sound of your voice. I missed having you by my side."

"When we were together, you never slept at home and didn't even bother to call me, so stop bullshitting me." You shouted, feeling fed up with this crap.

"And I deeply regret everything that has happened. I was frustrated because I never had time for you anymore and I pushed you away. Not the smartest decision, I know and when you brought it up, I took my anger out on you, though I was angry with myself. When our relationship ended, I thought it was for the best, but i can't live without you!" He explained, tears falling from his eyes.

He crouched down next to your feet, wrapping his arms around your leg and hugged it tightly.

"I love you so much, Y/N. I'm such an idiot and you deserve better than me, but I love you so much. I've loved you ever since we were kids, and I promise that if you take me back, I'll drop everything for you. I'll quit acting, won't go to anymore conventions, all of it! I just want my man back."

Your pants were really wet now because of the tears from Jensen. You knew now that he regretted his decision.

And deep down you knew that Jensen was the one for you.

You ran your fingers through Jensen's hair which made him look up at you, sniffling a little.

"You have another chance, but you better not fuck it up again." With that sentence, Jensen stood up and started planting kisses all over your face, "And you don't have to give up your career for me, Jen. You just need to make sure that we spend time with each other, okay?"

He nodded, shedding a few happy tears. But they weren't sad tears. They were tears of Joy.

---

~ 6 months later ~

"Hey Karen, can you please give these files to Jenny?" You asked, holding the files out to her as she took them and nodded her head, "Thanks!"

Y/N L/N!" Your co-worker, Lily called out, walking into your office as Karen walked out, giving you a hug, "Or should I call you Y/N Ackles now? Congratulations! I'm so happy for you!!"

You looked at her confused and a little frightened. How did she find out?

Seeing how confused you look, she showed you her phone and it was pictures that Jensen posted on his instagram.

It was pictures of you and him. He posted 5 pictures of you guys together.

The first phone was you and him as babies, playing in the sandbox together which was taken by your mother.

The second one was of you and him in high school. He had a wide smile on his face as he hugged.

The third one was of you and him cooking together and smiling happily at the camera.

The fourth one was of you and Jensen the day you got married.

And the last one was of you lying on his chest.

The caption said: Today, I would like to show the world my handsome husband and the love of my life, Y/N Ackles! I have known him since we were kids and always had a crush on him. He is the most amazing and lovable person in the world and he's very out of my league. Unfortunately, I fucked up our relationship many times, but he gave me another chance even though I didn't deserve it. I love you Y/N Ackles!! Thanks for always being with me!

(Btw, I know he's hot, but he's mine!)

You were shocked to see that he told the world about your relationship and tears started streaming down your face.

"Are you okay, Y/N?" Lily asked, as you gave her back her phone. You didn't answer her question. Instead, you ran to the men's room and took out your phone, calling Jensen.

He picked up the phone after 4 rings.

"Hey Y/N!"

"Jensen, what was that all about?" You questioned.

"Did you not like it?" He asked, worried that you didn't like what he had done.

"I loved it. I loved it alot and I love you, but are you sure you were ready to come out right now? You know how Hollywood is."

"Fuck Hollywood! If they don't want me anymore for loving another man then I don't care. I have you and that's more than enough for me."

You smiled at the words spoken from Jensen and the two of you talked for a little while longer like two teenagers.

Your relationship with Jensen was strange and difficult at times, but you wouldn't trade him for anyone else.

#Jensen Ackles x male reader #Jensen Ackles x reader #male reader #x male reader #Jensen Ackles x male!reader #dean winchester x male reader #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x male!reader #supernatural x male reader #supernatural x reader

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slytherinnbitch · 3 years

Text

Proposal Part 2

Part 1

Harry walks into the cemetery in happy spirits. He can't wait to tell his parents about his decision to marry Draco.

When he stops infront of his parents grave, he finds fresh flowers there already. That's weird...

He frowns as he vanishes them and conjures up his own flowers in their place.

"Hey Mum, hey Dad," he says as a way of greeting as he sits down beside them.

"So I'm proposing to Draco tomorrow, I think it's about time, you know? It's just...I- I miss you. Like I have everything but one. Draco's parents, they aren't bad. I think I like them somewhat. Yeah I know how that sounds, Padfoot is probably horrified right now. The Malfoys, pup? How could you!" Harry makes a poor impression of Sirius and smiles as he thinks the scene which is hopefully happening in some other world.

"Tell him I know what I'm doing. Well somewhat. Do you think he will say yes? What if...what if he doesn't want to marry me? What will I do then, Mum? Honestly, I have no idea but I hope I don't have to think about that. I shall get going now, it's late and Draco is waiting." He caresses the grave once fondly, says his goodbye and apparates away.

...

"Hey Mione, I can hear Pans in the background as well." Draco says when he answers the phone call. It had taken him some time but now he could easily use most muggle appliances.

"Dracoooo," Hermione slurs and that astonishes Draco because Hermione never drinks a lot. Just a glass of wine or maybe two mugs of lager but not so much to get drunk. Just 'happy tipsy' she had called it when he had asked years ago.

"We have a secreeeeeet," Pansy sing-songs in the background.

"What secre-" Draco starts but suddenly it's Ron on the line, "Hey mate. Don't pay them mind, I have never seen these two more drunk. Hermione wanted to call to tell you that everything is in proper order and they have told Harry that tomorrow you have a picnic under the stars, as a gift from them. We'll meet you after, yes?"

"Yes, if everything goes well. Otherwise I would be vanishing from the face of the Earth for the next decade or four." Draco jokes, not really. Ron chuckles and they hang up.

Just then, Harry comes home and they order takeout, both of them too tired to cook dinner.

Just before midnight, Draco traps Harry between his body and their bedroom wall, "Hello, love."

A shiver runs down Harry's spine and Draco grins slyly, even after a decade Harry has the same reaction. Honestly, it's good for his ego.

"Hi..." Harry breathes, as he arches his neck in a silent request. Draco places sweet kisses all over his jaw and neck, sucking new marks and biting the tender skin now and then.

Harry is panting by the time he finds his lips. His wand vibrates in his pocket at the slight reminder that it's their anniversary.

"Happy Anniversary, Scarhead." Draco says against his lips and Harry smiles.

"Happy Anniversary, Ferret."

It's tradition to call each other names when wishing the other on a special day and at this point, it's quite adorable. You didn't hear that from him.

...

"We should really thank Hermione and Pansy for this, don't you think?" Harry asks as they finally sit down on the picnic blanket. The sky is bare of any clouds and they can easily see all the stars.

"Indeed, we should. What about an exclusive vacation to some exotic place? You think they would like that?" Draco suggests. It's the least he could do after such an wonderful arrangement.

"I think so, point me your star again?"

He takes Harry's hand and points towards the sky, slowly making an imaginary line with their hands.

There's a pleasant breeze blowing and the place is absolutely perfect, it's now or never.

"Harry, love. I have something to say," Draco says tentatively. Ugh, nerves!

"Oh? I have something to ask as well. You can go first though," Harry offers and smiles charmingly at him. Salazar and Godric, hope he says yes. Because Draco doesn't know how to live with a no, not after everything.

Here goes...

"Could you please stand up, please." Draco asks, "There's something I like to show you."

Harry frowns at him for a moment but stands up and faces Draco. He really hopes Hermione and Pansy can see them and start-

The sky is filled with different fireworks and Harry looks at them in awe. Harry had always been fascinated with fireworks and nothing brings Draco more joy than making Harry smile.

The words Will You Marry Me? shines through everything at last, crystal clear- thanks to Fred and George's handiwork. He gets down on one knee and takes out the ring box and holds it open.

Harry frowns at the words in the sky for a moment, then opens his mouth to say something to Draco and freezes when he sees him on knee.

"Draco..." Harry gasps, and his eyes widen. Maybe this was a bad idea, well it's too late now anyways.

"Harry, love. Today marks our ten years and in the past decade, I have learned so many things, I learned kindness and how love feels like and how- what I'm trying to say that in the last decade you have made me a better person each day and made me fall more in love with you. I want to do that for the rest of our lives and even if I don't really deserve it, I want to make you mine forever. So tell me, Harry James Potter, will you do the honour of marrying me?" Draco finishes with a smile and a single tear rolls down Harry's cheek.

"As inspiring as that was. This just isn't fair!" Harry whines and for a moment Draco thinks Harry is going to stomp his foot.

Draco hasn't been more confused in his entire life. He gives Harry a questioning look. Is he even going to get an answer or what?

Harry takes a calming breath and goes down on his knees. "This is what I'm talking about," he says and fiddles with his jacket and produces a black box, a ring box and was he ......

He opens the box and Draco looks up at him, "Yes, you idiot. I was planning on asking you tonight but no you always have to compete me." Harry huffs and then Draco starts laughing.

He can't help it, it's funny. They are both idiots, utter idiots. Harry looks very much like he wants to join Draco in his amusement but he holds off for ami minute, looking slightly put out. Then he joins in as well.

"So that's a yes then?" Draco asks, it doesn't hurt to be sure. Harry looks at him with are-you-actually-this-daft expression, usually Harry is on the receiving end of that expression.

"I can't even look at you right now." Harry says and drags him in for a rough kiss.

"Idiotic prat." Harry says as they break apart. "No Draco, I won't marry you. I just wanted to see how it might feel to propose to you on our anniversary just for laugh, yeah?"

Draco gives him a sheepish smile and Harry shakes his head.

"Give me your hand," Draco demands and Harry smiles fondly at his tone and gives his left hand. Draco takes out ring and places it on his ring finger where it will rest forever.

"My turn," Harry says and takes his hand in his and delicately places the ring there.

They look at each other tenderly with all their love on display, then slowly come closer. As if it's their first kiss and it feels like such as well, almost shyly they kiss each other, tender with love and rough with passion.

...

As they pull apart, someone behind them mutters, "Fucking finally!" And then all their friends are there, yelling out congratulations in various degrees as they come out from wherever they were hiding.

Pansy is the first one to reach them and she engulfs Draco in a hug and murmurs something in his ear which makes Draco swat her arm. She is onto Harry when Hermione arrives, closely followed by Ron, Blaise, Luna and Ginny.

They all congratulate them as hugs and kisses are exchanged. Harry is grinning throughout the night, even as they make their way back home.

He had been surprised when he noticed that they both had chosen almost identical rings for each other, except for the size of the diamonds. He had kissed Draco very inappropriately when he had noticed, much to Ron's horror. Seriously, the dramatics never stopped when it came to Ron and Draco.

"Draco...did you...visit my parents yesterday?" Harry asks as they keep their coats.

"...yes, I did, you know to ask for their permission. How did you-" Draco doesn't get time to finish because Harry is onto him.

He can't express the amount of love that passes through him at that single sentence. Draco went to Godric's hollow to ask his parents. The gesture is so sweet that he can actually feel his heart ache. They lose themselves in one another after that, no longer waiting for words to express their feelings, but rather showing it with their actions as they make sweet tender love.

Unbeknownst to both of them, craved inside their rings, is their story.

Masters of Their Own

Tagging @cissa-bee @sorry-i-ship-drarry @cupofsquirrelfan @textrovert-01 @a-disasterperson @thebusyfangirl @moramystery because you all requested this!

Part 3

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little-dragon-stories · 3 years

Text

When life forms a full circle

What happen when Kim Namjoon, single father of twins, meet his university crush as the teacher of his precious little ones?

W.C. 12 372

Pairing Kim Namjoon and female reader

Warning: none! This fic is just cuteness overload (maybe a bit of anxiety but nothing much.

This fic is a collab between me and my dear princess @aspaceformyself @aspaceformyselffics09, without her, it wouldn’t have been that good! Thanks a lot my princess! I love you <3<3<3<3<3

Dear Mr. Kim,

Here it is! Already the first day of school of your precious little ones!

Let me introduce myself! My name is Y/N and I will have the privilege to be a homeroom teacher for your kids, for their first year at the Blooming dale Kindergarten school. I am so excited to meet your children and team up with you for their first steps as a ‘big kid’ :)

In this email, you will find everything you need to know to get ready for the big day. From the school material to the class behavior code, take the time to read it all with your little ones.

To start this year on a festive note, I along with a couple of other teachers are organising a small event to help the kids get to know each other and also warm up to us teachers. I would thus like to invite you with your children on their first day of class. On the site, many games will be organised along with snacks for everyone.

Please, join us on monday, (date)

I can’t wait to meet them and start this year together.

Y/N Y/L/N

++++++++++++++++

Namjoon blinked at the message once, twice and thrice.

It was 3 am in the morning and judging by his red eyes and unkempt hair, it’s easy to deduce that Mr. Kim Namjoon barely got any sleep since god knows how many days. He pushed himself up from his chair, waddled down the hallway into the kitchen, fetched himself a bottle of water and plopped in front of his laptop once again. The past few days at work had been crazy for him. And today was much crazier. After a rollercoaster ride of juggling between his work and his kids, he finally got a moment of peace for himself. And just as he thought of finishing up more of his work, his eyes began to droop and found himself passed out on his desk only to be awakened by a notification waiting for him in his email.

“Ugh,” Namjoon groaned to himself and hurriedly typed out a reply. This is when he saw it again, the message that you sent him 2 weeks ago. He was so drowned out in everything that he almost forgot his precious 5 year olds are starting kindergarten tomorrow. It seems as if it was only yesterday, that he was changing their diapers and bringing them to sleep, comfortably wrapped against his chest in the big rocking chair. And here he was, reading emails from the school where his babies would be starting classes tomorrow. Time flies so fast. The mere thought of his kids taking their first steps in this world, made Namjoon’s chest flush with emotions to the point his eyes felt watery.

“Dammit Namjoon,” He thought to himself, “This is not the time to get all teary and emotional about your kids, it’s 3 am in the middle of the night!” But nonetheless, he was proud and more than anything he was happy. Overwhelmed, he did the first thing that came to his mind and grabbed his cell phone resting on the desk.

“You better tell me you’re dying, it’s 3 am!” Jin’s voice slurred through the other end, not impressed. But on the other hand he answered before it even rang twice, which means, he guessed Namjoon would be calling him at his wits end and he was ready to answer. Namjoon smiled sheepishly to himself. It was such a Jin kinda gesture.

“Wait, don't say anything, you’re overwhelmed because tomorrow it’s the twins first day of school ?” Jin asked before Namjoon could get any words out.

“How did you know, hyung?”

“Namjoon - ah you’re forgetting we enrolled our children together.”

“Right” Namjoon snorted.

“So, on a scale of 1- 10 how anxious are we?”

“Am I that obvious hyung?”

“Kim Namjoon, I live 10 minutes away from you and I can hear your thoughts overflowing all the way here.”

“Right.”

“So?” Jin asked, “Gonna spill or do I have to make you spill?”

“That won’t be necessary hyung”, Namjoon laughed, “I’m gonna spill.”

Namjoon sucked in a deep breath before he dived in.

“The thing is, I know how they’re excited to start school. I know they are ready and will be doing just fine. But, at the same time, I don’t want them to be hurt or sad and I’m afraid I won’t be around them to be able to comfort them. What if they are mocked? What if they hurt themselves? I won’t be there to help and worse I won’t know about it… I know their teacher will certainly be there for them, but she’s not me, you know. She’ll have so many kids to take care of… Hyung… Just the thought of them being away from me and hurt makes me so sad and scared. I see their excitement and I want to be excited too but I’m just scared. They are so small. They are my precious babies… Also, Namu needs time before he’s comfortable around new people, it’s not so easy for him to adapt to new situations”

Jin was quiet for a while and Namjoon worried the line disconnected before he spoke again.

“Namjoon - ah trust me when I say this. I feel you. I’m shit scared my little DaMi might get hurt too. But you know what,” Jin added in a tone softer than before, “I think they are ready. We should trust them and ourselves.”

“Is this your gut talking to you?”

“I don’t know, could be,” Jin chuckled, then sighed, “it’s okay to be scared Namjoon - ah. Nothing wrong with that.”

“Are you scared too, hyung?”

“Yah! Who do you think I am?” Jin’s voice boomed through the phone, “I’m Kim SeokJin, I’m never scared of anything.”

“Then why are you up so late hyung?”

“You know...Uhhh, I’m prepping! I’m prepping Dami’s lunch box for tomorrow!”

“Hyung, the school is arranging lunch, it’s a school party, the first day celebration.”

“Then I’m preparing her clothes for tomorrow!”

Namjoon laughed, “Whatever you say, hyung”.

“Okay, Namjoon, I need to go. I have so much to do before the morning arrives. But before that, how are you feeling now?”

“Hyung, before that hold on, who signed the email? Who’s Dami’s teacher?”

“I don’t remember, wait, I’ll check”. Scrolling his phone, he found the information.

‘Her name is Y/n”

‘NO WAY! Dami will be in the same class as the twins. How cool is that?”

“That’s so nice! They will all be able to count on each other. I’m so grateful, Dami won’t feel alone in the big class”

“Oooh, I thought you were not scared of anything…”

“I… I’m not”

“Yeah, sure.” Namjoon giggled, “ See you tomorrow, hyung. And for the record, I feel much better. I hope you do too.”

“I was always cool with it, you know. See you tomorrow Joon-ah. Give them a kiss from uncle Jin when they wake up. We’ll meet there”.

“Will do. Hyung… Last question… do you think their teacher will love them as much as we do?”

“She cannot love them as much as we do Namjoon, no one can. As a parent, the love we have for our little ones cannot be compared. But I’m sure that if she decided to be a teacher, it’s because she loves kids in general and therefore, we have no choice but to trust the fact that they will be treated with much care. But you know, our kids are lovable, they will be the teacher’s favorite!”

“Damn, you’re right! Thanks Hyung. I feel much better now”.

“Anytime Joon, preferably during business hours” Jin teased.

“As you were sleeping”

“Yeah, yeah! See you Joon-ah”.

_____________

Morning came way too fast for Namjoon’s liking. He barely had closed his eyes after he spoke with Jin, his fellow ‘Single dad club’ friend as they like calling themselves before he was awakened by two noisy kids racing up to his bed and jumping on him.

“Appa! Namu will have a pancake!” Little Namu straddled Namjoon’s chest while his twin sister Nam Young followed behind equally enthusiastic, “And Nam Young will have a sandwich and omelette!”

Namjoon groaned in his sleep, shaken awake by the sudden intrusion. Slowly squinting his eyes open he glanced at the clock next to him. 6:25 am it read. Lazily scooping both his kids in his arms, Namjoon sat up.

“Morning little monsters,” Namjoon greeted them fondly, kissing their faces and holding them close to his chest.

“Dad! Leave us alone!” The twins giggled, “We’re not babies anymore! Don’t hold us like babies!”

“Noooo!” Namjoon whined holding them closer than before, “You’ll always be my babies! Don’t even try to make me say otherwise! Even on your wedding day, you’ll be my babies. You better get used to it right now”.

“Please appa, don’t call us like that at school”

Sniffing the air, a sweet smell tickled Namjoon’s nose. And before he could wonder where the smell came from, another pair of tiny footsteps echoed in the room and then another little girl jumped Namjoon.

“Uncle Namjoon!” She squealed, throwing her arms around him. Namjoon struggled to hold her tight in addition to his kids already in his arms.

“DaMi!” Namjoon’s face stretched into a smile, “When did you get here princess ?? Where’s your appa?”

“Kitchen!!!” The children sang all at once, “He’s making us yummy food! Let’s go! Let’s go!”

“You guys need to get down though”

“Appa nooooo, hold us!” Nam Young pouted followed by Namu and DaMi joining in on her.

“Fine, aye aye captain,” Namjoon sighed. Seriously, he’s way too whipped for the kids to say no. Scooping the kids in his arms with the three of them hanging on to him, Namjoon rose from the bed and made his way through the hallway, into the kitchen.

When he entered, he was greeted by the sight of Jin behind the oven skilfully taking care of a frightening amount of poelons and cauldrons at the same time. How he never burned anything always remains a mystery for Namjoon.

“What a nice surprise!” Namjoon exclaimed, “When did you guys get here by the way?”

“Don’t mention it! I was not lying when I told you I was prepping their lunches last night. Besides, it kept me away from overthinking,” Jin’s half admitting his anxiety was somehow touching for Namjoon who came beside his friend and put a hand on his shoulder. Both were ‘losing’ their babies this morning and the thought of it made their heart twist.

“We got here at 6 am!” Dami exclaimed from where she was perched on Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Aaaaw, did my little Dami wake up that early?” Namjoon cooed at her, then turned to Jin,“Well, it’s a wonderful surprise. Thanks a lot hyung.”

“How many times have I told you that we would be the perfect couple, Kim Namjoon? I was not lying! You would have these breakfasts each morning” Jin teased his friend.

“I might consider the offer,” Joon joked back.

The children jumped down from Namjoon’s embrace and began to set the table in a chaotic but efficient manner. As efficient as the kids can get. In no time, the cutlery was set, and all gathered together before a delicious breakfast prepared by Jin.

No sooner did they finish their breakfast, the kids raced past Namjoon and Jin to gather their belongings as the adults cleared the table and cleaned up everything. Soon, everything was in order and Namjoon and Jin found themselves all packed, in their respective cars ready to drive to school all prepared to welcome their kids to take their first steps as the big kids.

Concentrated on the road, Namjoon didn’t pay attention to the kids for a couple of minutes. Lowering the music, he realised that the atmosphere suddenly changed in the car. He turned his attention to what was happening in the back seat while still driving.

“... you’ll see Namu, we’ll have fun. Plus, we’re in the same class as DaMi. We’ll be together…”

“I want to stay home with appa… he’ll be alone if we both go to school. I’ll miss appa too”

Namu tears went down on his round cheeks as Joon could see and it broke his heart into tiny pieces.

“What’s going on son?”

“I don’t want to go to school appa. I want to stay home with you. I don’t want to go…”

“Aaaaw… Namu, you forgot that for today I will stay with you guys. We’ll meet your teacher and the other kids together. I can’t wait to see your class. Meet your teacher. Play with the other kids. We’ll have fun, you’ll see. Plus, tomorrow, you’ll have only half a day to let you have the time to adapt. In no time, you’ll get used to it”

“I don’t want to meet them… I don’t want to meet Miss Y/n and the other kids. I want to stay home with you”.

“Namu is just a big baby,” Nam Young playfully teased her twin brother while wiping his tears at the same time.

“Nam Young, don’t tease him. He has the right to feel anxious. It’s normal to be when we are facing a new situation”

“I’m just teasing him appa, I wanted to make him smile”.

“You didn’t make me smile, you made me cry” Namu pouted

“I’m sorry Namu,” Nam Young said as she wrapped her brother in a hug, “… please don’t cry”.

“Aaaaaw…” Namjoon’s heart was threatening to explode with warmth in his chest. His kids were so different. Their personality was always the opposite. While Namu was more reserved, anxious and introverted, NamYoung was a child that goes to meet everyone and adapt easily to every situation. This morning was not different. If he was being honest, Namjoon was more scared for his son’s adaptation than for his daughter’s. But looking at the duo now, he feels a little assured that Nam Young will be there for her brother if needed. She may not know how to help him yet, but she tries and it makes Namjoon proud.

“We’ve arrived kids… Jin is already parked. Let’s go”.

Namu hesitated to untie his belt. It’s his sister that did it for him and as soon as Namjoon opened the car door, the little one jumped in his father’s arms. It’s with Namu sitting on his forearm with his little arms wrapped around his neck and his face buried into his neck, and Nam Young proudly walking by his side (but still needed to hold his hand) that Namjoon joined Jin. The latter helped his friend to carry their belongings and the quinquet walked their way into the school.

As they walked towards the building, Namu’s grip tightened against his father’s neck.

“It’s gonna be okay Namu,” Namjoon reassured his son with a small pat on his back, “ Appa is not going anywhere. I’ll stay with you today, remember?”

Namu nodded but didn’t seem to be convinced. The closer they went to the school, the more tense he felt his son against his chest. And by the time they reached the gymnasium, where the event was taking place, Namu burst into full blown tears.

“I want to go home!” He insisted between tears, “Bring me home appa! Please.”

Watching his son melt down into tears broke Namjoon’s heart. The group stopped before they could enter the venue and Jin led them to a quiet corner where they hoped to help Namu feel at ease. In the middle of the crisis, Namjoon heard your light footsteps coming their way.

“Oooh, what do we have here?” A soft and cheerful voice asked, “I was waiting for you guys, to complete my class” you said.

Too engulfed by his son and too anxious to notice anything, Namjoon merely looked above his shoulder and turned his attention back to his son when his cries intensified. At the side, he noticed Jin approach you, but didn’t heard the conversation you had together. It’s only when his daughter said “see you later Namu, come and join us when you feel better” did he realise that something was going on.

“Would you come with me, Mr Kim?” he felt your hand on his forearm, trying to catch his attention. “I think it will be less stressful for Namu to be in a quieter place for now. Come on”

“Nam Young…” Namjoon enquired, now turning towards the source of the voice. It was a young woman probably in her mid twenties. She had a bright and an understanding expression on her face as she spoke to Namjoon.

“Your daughter is okay, she left to meet the other kids with Mr Kim,” you said, “she even said bye to you and her brother. Come with me, please”.

Namjoon nodded and the duo followed you in a daze. You entered a light and colorful classroom filled with small tables and tiny chairs. There was a rocking chair in the middle of the class, 15 cushions on the floor. Books everywhere.

“Namu… can you look at me please?” you asked the little kid. He lifted his eyes and with a tiny sob, he looked at his teacher.

“Annyeong Namu. I’m Y/n. I’m so glad that you are here, I needed help this morning because I didn’t have the time to prepare everything” you winked at Namjoon. “I will be your teacher this year and this is our classroom”

No answer from the little boy. Sensing that Namjoon wanted to interfere, you made a sign to signify that you were in control. You needed to bond with the little boy, you know you will have him sooner or later.

“Namu, I worked all week to prepare this class for you guys. But I am not sure if it will be perfect. Would you like to help me with something?”

You had to think fast. You wanted to occupy the little boy so he would forget he was sad. Very often, the tactic worked in the past.

“No, I want to stay with Appa,” He sniffed.

Namu didn’t agree, but at least he answered you so that was a good beginning.

“But your appa will help me also, we will use him, of course” You winked knowingly at Namjoon.

Looking around the class, Namu looked suspiciously at his teacher.

“I think it’s pretty enough as it is,” he told you with a skeptical face.

With a tinkle of a laugh, you turned to face Namu snuggled up in Namjoon’s arms. This was probably when Namjoon realised there was something nostalgic about the woman in front of him. Something he couldn’t quite place or point a finger at. But, at the same time, he couldn’t quite shrug the feeling of the warmth, the familiarity that your laughter made him feel.

“Aaaaw, thanks a lot Namu!” You cheerfully smiled, “You think that our classroom is pretty! I worked so hard to prepare it all, you have no idea how it looked like, before I came in. But I didn’t lie to you though, I need your fathers’ arms. Can you get down and let him help me with the boxes you see there?”

You pointed a finger at some boxes piled up in a corner of the class. “See this? I would like your appa to give me the box that is in the middle. They’re too heavy for me. Why don’t you come with me, shall we discover what’s inside together”?

Curious, the little boy looked at his father for his authorization. Namjoon gave him a reassuring smile and told his son “Shall we help miss Y/n Namu? Come on,” and he walked with his son still in his arms towards the boxes. When he arrived, he gently put him down, the little arm of Namu lightly sliding along Namjoon’s neck. Curious, the little one looked at his father taking the first box, putting it on the floor and going that way until you said “Yes, this one. Please bring that box on the table”.

Namjoon smiled at your answer. There was not a single box that was heavy enough for you not to be able to carry them. He found that you were clever as he could see the strategy you used there.

“Here you go Miss Y/n! The box was so heavy, no wonder why you needed me with it” he smiled.

“Thanks Mr. Kim. Namu, wanna come and discover what’s inside with me?”

Curious, he ran towards the table, the excitement slowly replacing his anxiety.

“One, two, three… Tadam!!!” you exclaimed as you placed your hands on top of the box and opened it together with the little boy. Namu's smile grew big.

“Woah! This is figurines! I didn’t know I could play at school! I thought I was only here to be serious all the time!”

This time, you laughed for real, a big belly laughter that made Namjoon doubt again for a moment. Somewhere inside his head, he feels like he knows this sound, this person. But at the sametime he’s not so sure if he does. There’s a part of him that wants to ask and put an end to his curiosity but at the sametime, there’s another part of him that doesn’t want to make a fool of himself if he got it wrong. Then again, it wouldn’t be such a surprise if you turned out to be someone he knew. The world is small after all. Scratching his head, he observed you while you talked to his son. He wished his mind was working at full capacity right now but unfortunately, it was not the case at all. The anxiety caused by the big event today paired with the lack of sleep of the last weeks barely left him a working neurone. One thing was certain though, this woman in front of him loves kids and has the twist with them. You seemed to be a loving and caring person, empathetic enough to take time to create a bond with an anxious little one. Namu will be at ease in no time with you, he already seems to be. It was a relief.

“You thought we would never play?” You huffed, clearly surprised, “What’s this idea? Namu, you know what? With me, we will always play. We will use games to learn. And when we are tired of learning, we’ll play just for fun! But, but, but, you will learn so many things! You won’t even realise and you will learn. We’ll also have more serious moments of course. Tell me, do you have those figurines at home?”

“I have some, but we couldn’t buy all of them, they were not available anymore”.

“Ooooh!” you blinked at Namjoon “I have my ways to collect toys. Wanna place the figurines on the shelf you see over there? I don’t know the best way to put them. Should I sit them? Should I group them? See? I really need your help!” you said, turning to Namu.

“YES! Let me do it!” Namu lifted the box and dragged it in front of the shelfs, not realising the box was actually really light. “Shall I use the top or middle or lower shelf?”

“This is why I need you Namu, I don’t know what will please the kids. Do as you want, we’ll bring more boxes, I have more figurines”

“Yeah” the boy exclaimed happily, his eyes shining like glitter.

Turning to Namjoon, you murmured lower enough so Namu won’t hear you.

“Here we go Mr. Kim. I thought it was a good idea for him to be in his little bubble before he meets the other kids. At least, now, he will be more comfortable with his environment, it’s less overwhelming for him. I know, I was the exact same at his age” you told him. He softly gazed at his child trying to arrange the figurines as he pleased by the shelves. “When he’s ready, we’ll go to the gym where the other kids are. Want me to go check on Nam Young while you watch over him?”

“You wouldn’t mind?”

“Of course not, wait”.

A short minute later, you came in and sat by Namjoon’s side as he was watching over his son with proud eyes.

“She and DaMi are already entertaining the crowd!” you smiled at Namjoon “Mr Kim is with them both, he said to take your time with Namu. So, no worry. We have a little time before I need to go there”.

“Thank you, Miss Y/n,” Namjoon sighed, relief clearly flooding through his mind and his body. His shoulders finally slouched and he let his body relax in the chair he sat in.

“Tough morning?” You asked, judging by the demeanor of the man in front of you.

Namjoon nodded, then smiled at you, “It was. It was the first time I’m going to part with my kids for a relatively long time. I’m excited for them and proud of them. But at the same time, seeing Namu so anxious broke my heart. He’s a sensitive kid, quiet and reserved. But bright and kind at the same time.”

“I can understand Mr. Kim,” You reassured him, “Maybe not understand all the nuances of being a parent but my students are like my little babies too. Please, don’t tell them I called them babies” you laughed.

“Oh lord,” Namjoon mixed in with the laughter, “I called them that this morning and they didn’t like it.”

“I can tell,” You giggled, “Anyway Mr. Kim, rest assured, your little ones are safe with me. I will always care for them and make sure they’re surrounded by a healthy and loving atmosphere while they’re at school.”

There wasn’t anything more Namjoon could ask for. It seemed that you knew how to create a bond with kids too, judging by how Namu was now playing with the figurines as he placed them. He was certainly more at ease. And as it looked like you were about to get up and go towards Namu, Namjoon finally couldn’t help but ask what was on his mind the whole time.

“Miss Y/N,” he called out to you, as he scratched his head for the nth time that day, “I apologise if this may sound weird or come across as rather creepy. But, have we met somewhere before??”

“Finally!!” You exclaimed to which Namjoon appeared startled, “ Of course we met before! I was waiting for you to recognise me!”

“...”

“It’s me Y/N from Seoul University”, You continued, “ We met from time to time during our university days”.

Namjoon still looked confused.

“Wait, remember HyunNa? She was a common friend of ours. Sometimes we met with a bunch of other people. I always loved talking with you, I have to say. You were so brilliant and kind compared to her other friends. Maybe you left a better impression than I did” you said but you didn’t seem mad at all. In fact you were smiling brightly.

“Oh wait!” It finally dawned on Namjoon, “You’re that Y/N?!”

“Yes! Have I changed that much?” You giggled, “You finally recognised me!”

“Sorry,” Namjoon laughed, “I do remember you but damn, you changed a lot! We met often at the parties. Although neither of us are the kind to party.”

“I think this is why we found ourselves together sitting outside sipping at our drinks and reflecting on the whole wide world, while the other danced and got wasted! ”

“And those midnight ice cream trips with our friends!”

“Yep! Ice cream was the best! That was my kind of activity”

“Gosh, those days seem so far away. Anyway, I didn't think I would meet you like this after years. It’s a pleasant surprise though.”

“I’m glad too, to be honest. Plus, I’m gonna be the one who takes care of your twins. What a faith!” You said, smiling fondly at Namu.

“They were good times,” Namjoon said, a soft smile adoring his lips.

“It certainly was,” You said, nostalgically, “I wonder how the others are doing right now.”

Once Namu felt at ease with his surroundings and after a while of catching up, Namjoon and you decided that it’s time to regroup with the others at the gymnasium. By the time the three of you entered the gym where the main festivities were held, the school party with the other kids had already started. Once you made your way towards the other teachers, Namjoon joined in with Jin and the other parents.

“A moment of attention please,” the physical education teacher said. It was Junkook, your colleague. “It’s time for everybody to meet with your group. Would you please group in front of your teachers please, parents follow your kids. We’ll take your presence and we’ll have a short time to get to know each other before the games start. Let’s go meet your teachers guys”.

Jungkook came to you as soon as his speech was done. You had missed the welcome speech and he wanted to tell you how it went.

“Is the little one okay, noona?” He asked, concerned.

“Yes, he was just a little shy,” You said and then added, “You took good care of my class while I was away, thanks Kookie.”

“I did, of course. And they can’t wait to meet you, they didn’t believe me when I told them I was miss Y/N,” He pouted.

“Aaaaaw! You said that? Thank you so much! You’re the best!”

“My pleasure. Luckily, you have a bunch of single fathers in your class,” Jungkook smirked, “for the single lady you are, you’ll have plenty of choices. If needed, I may help you all year long with this group, they are all pretty cute and I may get lucky with one of the dad’s myself,” He shrugged.

“Jesus Kook! Calm your hormones” you laughed. “I’ll talk to you later” you smiled at him. Ever Since he joined your school, he was the most popular among kids. Funny, dynamic and respected by everybody. You even found in him a little brother that you never had.

“Okay guys, I’m sure you all met Jungkook? He will be the gymnastic teacher this year. You can call him Kookie.”

Kids squealed and applauded, already under his charm.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t meet you before but here I am now. And I’m so glad to meet you. Now, before you arrive, I have memorised all your names and I would like to put a face on your names. Who do we have here?”

In addition to Kim Namu, Nam Young and Kim Dami, Namjoon and Jin’s kids respectively, there were Min Jae Hyun and Min Hyun Seok, two bright kids of a young couple, Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok. Then there was Park A-Reum, daughter of a really charming man Park Jimin, whose beauty turned the heads of everyone in the gymnasium from the teachers to the staff and the helpers. There was Kim Sang Jung, whose energy was more chaotic than an atom bomb. He came with his equally chaotic uncle, Kim Taehyung. There was also a cute but extremely turbulent little girl named Kwak Bo Young whose parents didn’t bother to come for her first day of school, she came in class with her angelic cousin named Lee Min Ji. Both of them were not accompanied and they soon found themselves under Jimin and Taehyung‘s protective wings. These were the kids mainly under your small class.

“Woah! What a wonderful group I have this year! I’m sure we’ll have so much fun together!” you told them. “Before we start the games, your gym teacher, Kookie and I have arranged some snacks, so be sure to try them and enjoy yourselves. Parents too, can eat as much as you want”

Namjoon along with Jin looked around the gymnasium, taking in the whole atmosphere. Their kids have long ago ran towards the snacks leaving the two behind.

“This place is not bad,” Namjoon mused to himself, “I was pretty anxious yesterday. But somehow after this morning and right now, I feel at ease.”

“I know what you mean,” Jin added, as he signed Namjoon to look in front of them, “I don’t think we have to worry about the kids anymore.”

Sure enough to Namjoon’s amusement and happiness, both their kids seemed to have made friends with the others in their group. It was probably then, that he caught your attention and briefly sent you a smile along with a small wave.

“Ah I see,” Jin mused, smiling to himself.

“See what?” Namjoon asked.

“You know, the teacher,” He shrugged, “I saw that.”

“Saw what hyung??” Namjoon asked, still oblivious.

“I noticed a certain someone who seems all smiley and bubbly around the teacher,” Jin remarked, an amused expression masking his face.

“What do you mean, hyung? Bubbly? I just waved to her,” Namjoon said, exasperated. And when Jin didn’t budge, he added, “Okay, fine, I knew her from college. We weren't exactly close, but hung out with the same group of friends”.

“And?”

“And what?”

“And?”

“Okay fine! I probably had a tiny bit of a crush on her back then!”

At this Jin’s smile grew wider and wider.

“No no no, I know what you’re thinking and don’t you go there Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “It was long ago and now’s a totally different situation.”

Jin continued to smile and looked like he wasn’t convinced but didn’t say anything more. Namjoon just continued being exasperated by his friend.

At the same time, on the other side of the Gymnasium, Jungkook approached you.

“So… what about you and Mr Kim?” He asked you as soon as you were both out of reach of the children.

“There are 3 Mr Kim in my class. You’ll have to be more precise”

“The one with the hot thighs” He smirked.

“What about Namjoon- ah?” You asked, not even realising what you just said.

“DAAAAH!” he laughed, pointing at you. “You know exactly who I’m talking about, how’s that”

“Oooh…. Well… Why do you even ask about him, there is nothing about him” you shyly answered.

“3 years now, I’ve known you for 3 years and I have never seen you blush when a parent waved at you”.

“I didn’t blush” you said, feeling your cheeks with the back of your hand. “We knew each other back then. There is nothing about him or anything. Leave me alone Kookie” you pouted.

“She’s shy, how charming” Kookie said as he laid a hand on your shoulder “I think that your red cheeks speak for themselves. Oooh, wait” and he left as fast as he arrived, little A-Reum coming his way with her appa and little Min Ji.

Looking at Kook squatting down to be at the same level as A - Reum, you smiled to yourself as you watched Kook put a bandaid on the finger of the little boy.

Soon, the games began and you didn’t have much time to think about Kim Namjoon anymore, the kids taking all your attention. They were all charming but certainly will keep you busy this year. They involved themselves in the activities with every inch of enthusiasm and energy that was hidden in their little bodies. It was a fun filled day both for you, the parents and their children. And just like that, time flew and in the blink of an eye, the day came to an end. The kids, and even Namu who was so hesitant, were disappointed to go home, but you assured them that they will be back tomorrow and it’s going to be filled with fun like today was. With hopes of looking forward to the next day, and the year ahead, the kids and their parents bid you a good bye.

****************************

“Are you sure about it hyung?”

“Oh course I’m sure,” Jin insisted on the other end of the phone, “I promised Dami I’ll bring the twins with us. She wanted it, you don’t want to disappoint my daughter, do you?”

Namjoon chuckled.

“I certainly don’t want to make my little princess sad,” He sighed, “Okay then… Are you sure you can handle the three?”

“YAH Kim Namjoon! Who do you think I am?” Jin remarked faking a playful offence, “The day is already planned and you approved all the activities we prepared. Just take that day for yourself and relax. I don’t know how long it’s been since you had a day without responsibilities. Take that time my friend, and enjoy it. You need to recharge your batteries and the kids are really happy about it all. It’s a win win situation.” Jin reassured his friend. “No worry, I know where to reach you in case anything happens”

“Yes, please. I will keep my phone with me. Call me if anything happens. Anything, okay?”

“Yes Namjoon heard you loud and clear, now stop worrying and have fun. Trust your hyung on this one, I got your back.”

Namjoon felt reassured and was even grateful for Jin’s idea. This is when he heard him laugh and say.

“Maybe you can even call the cute teacher and have some good quality time together with her,” He smirked, “I told you many times, she blushed looking at you thrice that day”

“Hyung!” Namjoon exclaimed, “She did not! And that’s all in your imagination!”

“It’s not.”

“It is.”

“Nope. No sir.”

“Yes it is.”

“Fine hyung, whatever lets you sleep at night,” Namjoon signed exasperated knowing his friend won’t relent to him.

Jin didn’t say anything but his laughter was enough to tell Namjoon that he was clearly enjoying this teasing. Ever since he learned of Namjoon’s little university crush on the teacher of their kids, Jin made it a point to tease him relentlessly over it every chance he has got. Now, Namjoon just learned to let Jin have his moment.

Soon after this, Jin along with Dami, dropped by to collect both the twins. Namjoon bounced around the house double checking everything just to see if the kids had everything they needed. Honestly, everything was already prepared but at the last moment, he felt hesitant. Thankfully, Jin reassured him. He now loaded all their belongings into Jin’s car with his help, hugged his little ones one last time, breathing in their smell, and made sure they’re properly seated in the car.

“Uncle Jooooooon” Dami happily called him “Can I have my kiss goodbye too?”

“Sure thing, my little princess” He opened the car door he had just closed and hugged her little frame, careful not to crash anyone with his weight. “Have a good day Dami.”

“You too uncle.”

And then with a final goodbye from both Jin and the kids, the car zoomed off into the distance.

It’s been quite a while since Namjoon got time for himself. Whether it was to just walk around aimlessly or watch a movie by himself or anything of that sort. In addition to the time, the weather also seemed to work in his favour. It was a clear day, with the blue of the sky peering over the millions that walked the planet. There were hardly any clouds but it also wasn’t very sunny or hot. Just the perfect weather for a stroll along the bed of the Han river.

Namjoon sighed, leaning into the touch of the breeze that passed him by. It’s been five long years since there was any moment of peace. Ever since the day his twins were born, everyday was a jumble of rollercoaster rides for him. Not that they were bad. He certainly did have days where he was stressed, where he thought he was going to snap from the pressure of it all. But most of all, the rollercoaster ride was still welcome. His kids mean everything to him and without them, he probably couldn’t have gotten to where he is now. The hours he spent caring for them all alone, watching them grow and bloom into beautiful human beings were certainly worth all the fatigue that had accumulated over time. After all, he will always have time to rest later.

And as he sat there lost in his thoughts, he soon noticed a familiar figure sitting by a tree and reading a book. Upon closer inspection, Namjoon realises that it was you, his longtime friend and a teacher for his kids. You didn’t notice him, you were too engrossed in your book, your brows furrowed from the seriousness of what was in the story, your mouth upturned into a pout. It brought a little smile on Namjoon’s face, because it was something he was used to seeing back when you both were in university. From the little bits he knows of you from here and there, and of the times you hung around, books were a constant. Never in his life, he thought he would meet you again or feel this familiarity once again.

As he continued to notice you and take in your presence, a soft breeze blew by you, whipping your hair onto your face. It didn’t seem like it bothered you though as you continued reading despite it. And when it happened for a second time, it was when you finally tucked your hair behind your ear and looked up to meet Namjoon’s gaze.

“Namjoon - ah” you murmured, more for yourself. You were not quite sure if he was really in front of you, still engulfed in the emotional part of the story you just read. It was when you heard his deep velveteen voice that you knew it was not your imagination.

“What a nice surprise” he softly giggled before he walked towards you “It’s nice to see you haven't changed at all after all these years. It’s nice to see you like that, like before”.

This was when he noticed what Jin was teasing him with for weeks now, the pink on your cheeks that he’s quite sure you never had in your university years. More so, around him.

“Oooh! You mean, reading all alone in my little corner?” You chuckled, “Yep! This is still how I spend my off days. My friends wanted to go for a bicycle ride but after being surrounded by people all week, I needed some quiet time”.

“Haha, I know what you mean, I’ll leave you then” Namjoon shyly said.

“No! I didn’t mean it like that. I’m actually happy to see you, come sit with me” you pat the place close to you.

“You sure?”

“Yep! Of course”

With a blinding smile, he walked towards you and sat close by.

“By the way, where are my babies?” you asked him with a concerned smile.

“Oooh, out with Jin hyung and Dami. It’s the first time I’m on my own. They will even sleep there, if I don’t change my mind and join them or kidnap them. Because they were so happy about their day, it would be a kidnapping” he laughed. “They have planned to sleep in a homemade tent on the terrace of Jin hyung’s building, I mean…. Quite an event, right?”

“Aaaaw! This is so cute!” You exclaimed, “Don’t you dare bother them” you teased.

“Yeah, we’ll see if I can stand it tonight,” Namjoon sighed as he gazed towards the sky.

“And how is Mr. Namjoon spending his day so far?” You asked playfully, wiggling your eyebrows.

“To be honest, they just left and I was just wandering around. I feel useless,” he chuckled, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Aaaaw! Single dad, not being used to being by himself” You cooed, “I’m glad that you have this day though. It’s good for you”

“You don’t have kids right?”

“Nope, it’s still impossible for a single woman to procreate by herself” you laughed, “Unless it happens by a miracle.”

Namjoon snorted at that. Strangely happy for a reason he can’t fathom. But then he also wondered,

“How do you spend your free time? Then again, how come you’re single?” he asked, almost surprised.

Looking up at him through your eyelashes, you wondered what he meant for a moment.

“This is a question I ask myself too, Namjoon -ah,” you broke into a laughter, “Where is my prince charming, I wonder!”

“Aaaaw!” he smiled at your cuteness.

“Well, to answer your question, I spent my free time with whatever I want to do. I don’t ask myself how to spend my time, I just do what I want. Then again, it’s easy for me since I have no children yet. This is what you should do today. What do you, Kim Namjoon, want to do today?”

“What if I say, I want to go have ice cream with an old friend like the old times??” Namjoon asked, “Will she agree to it?”

“This is a very good idea. You go ahead, call her” you playfully winked at him but at the same time, you were already closing your book with the same page holder you used back then, Namjoon noticed.

“I mean you, pabo!” Namjoon whined, “I don’t think I have many people I know around here or consider anyone else to be an old friend.”

“I know!” You exclaimed happily, “But wanted to tease. Oopsie.”

“Let’s get going then shall we??” He said, smiling as he stood up and reached a hand to help you. His hand was big and his grip soft but strong. You felt happy that the connection with him didn’t seem to be lost after so many times apart.

“You won’t have that horrible flavor again, right?” Namjoon asked you with a pout.

“You remember what I used to eat?” you asked him, surprised.

“How can I forget, it’s kind of noticeable”

You laughed, delighted that he remembers, for some reason.

“Let’s see if my tastes have evolved enough to meet yours” you answered. Ice cream flavor was always a subject of playful bickering between the two of you. Never on the same page when it comes to choosing it.

As you walked along a little path along the river with Namjoon on your left, you looked up at him to meet his soft smile. When did he become so handsome? He was always a beautiful person inside and out but somehow along the way, as he aged, he became even more beautiful. How come you never noticed it back then? And how was this something you noticed after all these years?

“Appa doesn’t have a lover” you remembered Namu telling you and Kookie, last week “he said his priority was me and Nam Young but I would like to have a mother” the little boy had pouted cutely.

“You have a really good appa, Namu” Kookie had answered “he’ll meet the good person for him and for you guys one day. But the fact that he’s taking his time to do so is really good”.

The class had started and you had to leave the subject like that but it kept running in your thoughts today.

“Namjoon- ah”

“Hmmmm” he said as he looked down on you, his dimples shyly flashing on his cheeks as he smiled.

“It will be the only thing I’ll say about your kids because today, I’m not their teacher, I’m your old friend. But I found it amazing how a single parent could be able to raise such beautiful human beings. Namu and Nam Young are so lovely and brilliant. They learned to care for one another but they also care for the entire class, including me. It’s easy to say that they received a lot of loving attention and that they were in a stimulating environment. I love them so much. If you ever doubted, I want to tell you that you did a good job at parenting them. I… I’m impressed”

“Oooooh” he blushed “Thanks Y/n, I mean, it was not always easy but they were my number one priority all the time and I certainly cared a lot for them.”

“You prioritise your kids over your own needs, I mean, it’s remarkable. I found it really amazing”.

“Thanks Y/n… for me it was the only thing to do”.

“It would have been the same for me, too, you know” You said as you gazed into his eyes, then shrugged, “But it’s not that obvious for everyone else I guess. I met a lot of egoistic parents in my young career, unfortunately”

Namjon’s eyes were captivating. Again, something else that you never noticed before. Maybe there were times you did notice that. Some moments in passing when you both were in university. Or some nights when you were drunk and stared a little too longer into his eyes. But you never gave it much thought back then. In fact you can count the number of times you felt something but shrugged it off immediately, thinking it wasn’t a big deal or blaming it on the alcohol. But why tho? Was it because you were already seeing someone? Was it because it felt wrong? Was it the guilt? In hindsight, It was probably the guilt that made you focus on something else. But now, as you stared into his eyes, you can feel the familiar warmth stir in your chest. A kind of warmth you’ve never felt for anyone in years after you last broke up with your ex.

“Anyway,” You abruptly turned your head to face forward. Somewhere at the corner of your head, you can feel the blush creep up your cheeks and for some reason you felt embarrassed that Namjoon might notice that, ”I think I’ll have chocolate ice cream today. I don’t feel like ‘fighting’ with you.”

Namjoon busted a laugh at that, he has a really pretty smile, “You know what,” He said, “Have whatever you like, I’m not going to judge you on that today. I just like teasing you.”

“Aaaah, Kim Namjoon! You’re such a meanie!” you pouted, then chuckled, “It’s good, I.. It’s good”.

What’s happening to you? What’s this good feeling of meeting up with an old friend and connecting just perfectly again. At the same time, what’s this bubbly, sparkling sensation tickling inside? What was that? Why so suddenly?

“Look at that,” Namjoon pointed as he came to an abrupt halt. You were so lost in the chaos of your emotions and bubbling feelings that you didn’t notice when Namjoon stopped, didn’t hear him talk to you or point at something. With your mind in a haze, you walked right into him. The tall and broad shoulders, perfect him. It was so sudden, that the collision surprised you and in an effort to steady yourself, you tried to find the right footing. But that only led you to further losing your balance and before you could blink, you found yourself falling face first onto the ground. You tightly closed your eyes, bracing yourself for the impact.

But before, you could even realise what was happening, a strong arm quickly snaked around your waist and lifted you up from falling. You don’t know how he managed to do that but you found yourself facing Namjoon, securely held in between his arms, his hands away from you in a respectful manner. As you looked up at him, your eyes met his. His perfectly shaped, deep coffee brown eyes that stared right into your soul. They were so tender and soft, that you could feel yourself sucked right into his gaze. In this moment, you didn’t mind the ‘respectful’ manners and with the excuse of holding yourself still, you placed your hands flat on his chest. His heart was beating way faster than the calm that was emanating from his firm stillness on the outside.

“Namjoon- ah” you smiled at yourself, feeling a sting of warmth in your heart, “Why is your heart beating so fast? Were you so scared that I might have fallen down?”

At this very moment, you couldn’t imagine that he could have been feeling the same warmth at your contact. It was so sudden for you, so inexplicable. Namjoon didn’t answer, he just stared at you. He too was so lost in the moment that he didn’t realise the kind of hold he had over you, nor did he realise the position you were in. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that he would get such a close look at your face. And when you spoke, things suddenly fell in place. His eyes went wide as the realisation kicked in. His face turned a deep shade of red as he finally let you go.

“I...I’m sorry,” He smiled sheepishly, “I didn’t think.”

“What are you sorry for?” This confused you further. But decided not to dwell on it too much, “You saved me from face planting myself on the floor, thank you,” You laughed.

If saying that Namjoon was starstruck was an understatement, saying that he was spellbound would be too underrated. You have an enthralling laugh. Namjoon remembered the first time he heard it back in the university, he thought it had a distinct sound to it. Like the distant chime of a bell, like birds chirping in spring. And even now if you ask him, he would say it still had the same ring to it. Had the same effect on him. If he was being completely honest with himself, he would admit right here and right now that this sound you make when you burst into laughter, he would like to hear it every single day for the rest of his life. It just made him feel light and bubbly, calmed him down.

“You know what Y/n?” he asked as he collected himself

“What?”

“I want to make a bet with you”.

“A bet? What kind of bet?” you looked at him, not sure what he was about to propose.

“See the tree over there? The one close to the ice cream stand? The last one that arrives there has to pay for the ice cream. What do you think”

You smirked, as your expression changed in the blink of an eye and rolled up your sleeves. How did Namjoon forget how competitive you can get when bets were involved.

“Bring it on Mr. Kim!” You exclaimed as you jumped to prepare yourself. “You’re so gonna have to pay for me!”

For the nth time that day, he was reminded of how much you didn’t change over the years. How much the same old things excited you or brought a spark in your eyes.

“No way I’m paying! I’m so gonna beat you in the race!” Namjoon challenged you right away.

“Sureeeee,” You chuckled, “Says the same guy who lost all the time back at uni and paid for everyone.”

“You remember??” Namjoon asked, taken by surprise.

“How can I forget? I had a couple of free treats, thanks to you” you laughed “I mean, who will say no to free ice cream, han? You better get ready Namjoon- ah! I’m on fire today. I might be smaller than you, but I’m way faster. Ready?” you asked, still warming up your muscles as if you were preparing for an olympic competition.

“Aaaaw” Namjoon cooed “you didn’t change at all. Okay, on your marks…”

This is when things became serious for you. You position yourself in order not to miss the departure, not a single bit aware of Namjoon’s tender expression. The more he looked at you, at your cuteness over the simplest things, the more he felt endeared at you. You probably may not have been aware, but Namjoon let you start ahead of him and he ran right after you. Always making sure he kept a step behind.

When your hand finally touched the tree bark, you turned around and did your little happy dance exclaiming that you won. Just for that Namjoon thought he was in fact, the real winner here.

“I can’t believe that you won” he exclaimed but it sounded so fake, you became skeptical. Panting from the effort, you managed to say.

“Namjoon- ah! You cheated! I can see you let me win! Why?” you frown, pouting. “You’re not even breathless, how is that possible?”

“Aaaaw! Have I let you win?” he asked, dangerously close to you. “I don’t think I did! Anyway, ice cream is on me today… again”.

You studied his face for a moment. He didn’t seem a tiny bit deceived that he just lost a bet. He even had a warm smile on his face, his dimples on full display. You pouted even more.

“Namjoon-ah, you let me win. I know you did”.

“Of course not. I ran like my life depended on it”.

“Yeah! Yeah! Sure, I believe that,” You stared back at him, your eyebrows knitting on your forehead, your eyes in a squint.

Your breathing was much calmer now, and you were able to speak normally. Namjoon felt himself too entranced by you, if he continued to look at you like that, he didn't know what he could do. Instead of kissing you like his guts were claiming, he leaned towards you and poke your forehead.

“Ouch” your fingers traced the spot Namjoon just poked. It was so sudden, that it took you by surprise. But at the same time you couldn’t help being fond of it.

“Namjoon-ah! You meanie!” You pouted “You let me win and now, you’re hurting me! I don’t follow you this morning” you laughed, “Why are you like this??”

“I believe that you should not ask that, little miss. This might be information I want to keep top secret”.

“Oh Oh! look at you,” You playfully teased, “All cool and mysterious, keeping information to yourself,”

“I heard that mysterious people are very attractive,” Namjoon remarked as he puffed out his chest, “Does Ms. Y/N think that mysterious people are attractive?”

You smiled at him, looking straight into his eyes. He was so handsome, a mix of confidence and doubt. He was himself the incarnation of Adonis. The greek god of desire and beauty.

“Hum… let me think about it… Nah, I am personally not attracted to mysterious people. You know what seduces me?” without realising it, you got lost in your own thoughts and you had no filter anymore “Intelligence is seductive. Kindness is seductive. When someone is really caring and tender, this is really attractive, at least to me. If the person has dimples, broad shoulders, a beautiful smile and thighs… omg, if he has muscular thighs I’m a lost case”

Namjoon, who’s brain usually malfunctions when you’re around, has now completely stopped functioning. He just stopped in his tracks staring at you, his eyes wide. Trying to process the words that just left your mouth. It can’t be true is it? It’s too good to be true is it? But he just heard them. Straight from you.

You stopped walking on the spot, realising what you just had said. Your eyes went wide and it seemed to Namjoon that the blood had left your face before that beautiful pink colored your cheeks once more.

“I mean… I…” You stuttered, which was unusual for you. A hint for Namjoon that your brain too, was malfunctioning. “I mean, dimples are universally attractive, right? We… Aren’t we all attracted to dimples? I mean… Oh well, I think I’ll just shut up now” you blushed. You were red from the top of your head to your toes.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just you, who found it attractive,” Namjoon teased you. He couldn’t help himself, he needed to make you laugh again. His heart was beating loudly inside his own chest and he could very well feel the blush creep up his own cheeks. But that’s a story for another time. For now he just wants to see you smile at the very least. But instead of a smile, you got shy and it melted his heart.

“Namjoon-ah… I was just…”

“Say no more, Y/N, I just love teasing you”

“Yeah, it’s better if I just stop talking” you sheepishly smiled at him “The good thing is, you will pay for my ice cream today so I’m gonna take the bigger portion I ever had”

“You can buy the entire shop and I still won’t mind paying for that” Namjoon grinned.

Your heart was beating so fast and you felt so light. You never felt like this before near anybody else other than Namjoon, even back in uni. Was he flirting with you? Were you flirting with him? What was happening? How’s this even possible? Not even half an hour ago, you were alone, reading against a tree. Now you are with the most handsome and interesting man that you ever met and both of you seem to be fond of each other, at least you hope you were not imagining this.

You were probably standing there staring at him, the familiar blush dusted on your cheeks that your mind didn’t get enough time to process it when Namjoon took your hand in his, like it’s no big deal. Like it’s something of a usual occurrence to him, to you. And when you finally came to your senses, you couldn’t help but feel his hand. His soft but tough skin, his long fingers and the way they intertwined and laced around your own. The warmth of his grip, the tingling sensation that every point of contact sent through your skin. You were no longer sure of what’s reality or what’s an illusion.

The day couldn’t have been more perfect for Namjoon. This morning, he wouldn't have imagined it would turn out so beautifully. Walking hand in hand with the person he held a crush for over the longest period of time. If anyone would ever tell his university self that he would be walking with you while holding hands, he would have probably laughed at that person. But life does have weird ways of coming in a full circle. And here he was. The anxiety of being away from his kids was long gone. He did think of them, of course. But he was in such a peaceful and happy place, he didn’t have time to be overwhelmed.

You walked around for a while like that. Stopping for your ice cream once and then making a few more stops as you both tried some street food here and there. And between all this, the walking, the eating, the picking out food stalls, you both couldn’t stop talking to each other, couldn’t stop the bickering. It was a while since any of you had so much fun. Been a while since you both felt so light and bubbly. Particularly with another human being, an adult specifically. Nothing about today was planned beforehand but the day was nevertheless full of remarkable moments. Small moments that you never want to forget.

****************************

“So this is it then,” Namjoon’s words jolted you out of your thoughts. Surely enough, you could see your apartment come into view from a distance. The day surely flew by. And probably for the first time, you were disappointed by the thought of having to return home yet. Beside you, Namjoon didn’t seem to let your hand go either. His grip on your hand was as tight as it was when he first held it.

A little sad that you will soon have to go separate ways with Namjoon, you looked at him. His features were half hidden by the darkness that already fell on the city. Sensing your gaze on him, he looked back at you with a tender smile on his face.

“What are you thinking of Namjoon?” You asked, an equally tender smile on your face.

“Thinking?” Namjoon asked, “Nothing really. Why?”

“You had such a soft smile on your face,” You shrugged, “So wondered what got you smiling like that.”

“Ah, that’s because I had a good day today. I’m happy I got to spend all this time with you.”

You probably weren’t expecting this answer from him, so it was a bit surprising and also made your heart flutter thinking about how you were the cause of that smile. He, too, made you happy today. Very happy.

Guided by the desire to stay with Namjoon a little bit longer, you let your hand secure in his and with the other one, you gently laid your fingers on his forearm as you continued walking. It was not something that you planned to do, you just felt the need to hold onto him. He didn’t react to this but his already wide smile grew wider, if it’s something that’s even possible.

“We’ve arrived” you stopped in front of your apartment building “I live here”.

Namjoon didn’t say anything but stared at your doorstep, lost in a daze. It seems that it still didn’t fully dawn upon him that it’s already the end of your day together. And when he didn’t say anything else for a while longer you just gave him a small nudge waking him up from his reverie.

“This is so funny,” He remarked, “I walk in front of your home almost every single day when I go to work, yet I never imagined you lived here. Life is full of surprises”.

“Oh yeah?” You giggled.

You both just look at each other, a little awkward, a little shy, unsure of what you had to say. Of what both of you wanted to say. You both knew that the time you spent together today was a million times different than how you spent it before. You can’t really pinpoint what changed or what pushed for this change. But whatever it was, it was good. It was more than just good. It was perfect.

“So….”

“So…”

“You live here…” Namjoon bashfully said and mentally slapped himself almost instantly. Wasn’t it obvious? You had just said you live there. Jin will laugh at him until the next century when he gets to know this.

As he was scolding himself internally, he didn’t notice you tiptoe in front of him. It’s your hands taking a hold on his chest that made him realise that something was happening.

“Oh” was the only thing he thought of saying when he felt your warm lips against his cheek. Less than a second after, he could see your beautiful smile. You seemed to be way more at ease than he was. On an honest note, you weren’t sure what prompted you to do that. But looking at him, it only felt right to peck his cheek in a kiss.

“You’re so cute when you’re mad at yourself Namjoon-ah! You’re the cutest!” you tittered, your eyes bright. Namjoon swore, if he stared any longer he would be able to trace galaxies in them.

And as for you, saying Namjoon was cute was an understatement. You knew he was just as nervous as you. Nervous, happy, excited, overwhelmed and so many other things. It’s like waves crashing on top of each other. Restless, yet everything seemed like it was falling into place.

Under the pale moonlight, you gazed at Namjoon’s face. In contrast to the softness he radiates, his face was full of sharp angles and beautiful lines. He was looking at you with something akin to tenderness in his eyes, his coffee brown eyes, fixated on yours, his brown hair falling over his face. You were tempted to reach out and brush it away. But you couldn’t do anything but standstill and continue to gaze back into his eyes. And deep inside you, a fire burned and crackled.

When you felt him closing the distance between you, you instinctively closed your eyes and clutched at his shirt with your trembling hands. He was so close, you could feel his warmth enveloping you like a comfortable blanket. And with each passing moment, the fire inside you burned brighter. Stomach tangling, ribs crackling, butterflies scattering everywhere.

And just as Namjoon’s gaze dropped down to your mouth, he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you in, your lips tarried at his, baiting each other with the warmth of your breath. And just as his lips gently leaned on yours, a sound to your side broke the charm.

“Hum hum” the old man living in your block cleared his throat. Still not completely coming to your senses, both Namjoon and you sprang apart, half shy, half embarrassed. You then moved on your left, giving the space that the intruder needed to pass by and enter the building.

This is when you noticed Namjoon’s finger, grazing his red and luscious lips at the exact place where he felt you. He seemed as shy and shocked as you were.

“I… This is like an old dream coming true” Namjoon admitted, flustered.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know if I can say it”

“...” you stared at him.

“It’s nothing bad, you know?” he moved from a foot to another, seemingly shy and nervous.

“Then, why don’t you tell me” you had no idea what he was gonna say. All you could think about was the sudden sensation of cold you felt when you had to move back from him. It seems like you belonged in his arms and you wished you could just snuggle up against him as soon as possible.

And the next words that slipped past his lips was probably something you never imagined yourself or ever pictured happening.

“I used to have a huge crush on you while we were at uni,” He said, softly giggling, “I can’t believe I’m admitting that to you years later.”

Surprised, it was not something you expected him to have said, you stared at him blank, your eyes wide open. But then again, there was also no denying the sparks that flew between you back then. All this while, you thought it was only you. But, now you know, he was feeling something similar too. In a way, it was sort of comforting to know that.

When you noticed that his features changed, you realised he might have confused your reaction to rejection. Indeed, when he started to talk, he seemed to have regretted the confession. You didn’t want him to feel that way so you moved towards him and engulfed yourself in his arms.

“Woah Namjoon-ah! I didn’t know at all…” You said, at a loss for words. Equal parts embarrassed, equal parts happy. But at the same time you couldn’t help squeeze his frame between your arms. And in your grip, Namjoon stood still, probably too shocked or surprised for his own good. His heart at that point was slippery and hot and loud. So, so loud.

You both stood still like that for a few moments. It was too surreal, it was like falling off a cliff at a high velocity, unaware of your surroundings, yet still somehow suspended within the moment. And after what felt like ages, you turned your head to face him. When you looked at his gentle features peering at you, you knew what you felt in your heart. You were sure. But wanting to confirm if Namjoon was feeling the same, you ask -

“What about now Namjoon? How do you feel about me now?” you asked, your voice barely a whisper.

Namjoon thought it was too good to be true, that the moment was too magical, too perfect. He must have been dreaming and yet here he was. With you in his arms, worried about what he might think, he thought that life offered him the most beautiful gift in a long time. He smiled right back at you as he looked straight into your eyes before he tighter his arms around you. One hand at the nape of your neck, he brought you closer to his chest and kept you there for a long moment, both savoring the sensation.

“Now? Let’s see… It’s beyond just a crush. I feel like… we belong? Isn't it strange?”

“No Namjoon, it’s not strange. I feel the same” you told him, your nose against his shirt, breathing in his familiar scent.

And with that Namjoon giggled in your hold.

“How do you feel about a date next weekend then?” He asked as his fingers delicately carded through your hair.

“Let me see” you said, thinking “I found it’s a very long time to wait! I already cannot wait to be with you… What to do?” you teased “If we talk on the phone meanwhile, maybe I can wait until next week-end” you smiled at him.

“Aaaaw! Of course we can talk,” Namjoon laughed, “I recognise you there. You didn’t change a bit!”

“But it’s how you like me, right?”

“Right!” He smiled and took your hands in his “I also can’t wait to be with you again”

The journey was coming to an end, sadly. You moved back from his arms, tiptoed to kiss his cheek one last time and lingered against him a bit longer than necessary.

“Stay safe Namjoon”

“Yes, you too”

“Sure Namjoon,” you giggled, “I’ll try not to get robbed on the way to my doorstep.”

Namjoon busted a laugh at that.

“Anyway, see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

When you entered your apartment, you couldn’t believe what just happened. Sliding against the door, you sat down on the floor and held your knees against your heart in an attempt to keep it in your chest.

Not even 15 minutes later, still in the same position, you received a text message.

“Kind of think that next weekend is way too far… you were right missy <3”

#namjoon #kim namjoon #bts rm #namjoon fic #namjoon ff #namjoon oneshot #namjoon fluff #father bts #father namjoon #bts #bangtan #namjoon scenario #bts fluff

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yutahoes · 3 years

Text

Proposal

pairing : idol boyfriend! Yuta Nakamoto x Reader

genre : fluff

summary : Grand proposals are so cliché.

tag list : @ailoveyuta @aiforyuu @yutazen01 @2-3-t-i @dreamlesswonder86 @cosmiclatte28

word count: 1.1k words

"I just…" Yuta started, seated on the floor of Doyoung's apartment. Both Johnny and Taeyong were just laughing at him. "I love her so much." He continued which made Doyoung roll his eyes.

Jaehyun shook his head. "We know, lover boy."

"I want to marry her. Wake up with her." He smirked. "Have babies with her."

"Then propose to her." Johnny suggested but Yuta shook his head, shaking the empty bottle of vodka that they had been drinking for a while now. "You've been dating for so long."

Yuta lay down on the floor. "What if she doesn't want to marry me?" He asked, whining. "She has her whole future laid out in front of her. What if she isn't ready to settle down?" Taeyong had to look at Doyoung who had his phone ready to dial someone. "What if it's not me who she wants?"

Johnny sighed. "Let's get you home, Yuta. You're drunk."

"Johnny, should I tell her that I want to spend the rest of my life with her?" he asked, slurring in his words. The taller guy nodded and Doyoung sighed.

"Hi." You greeted, opening the door for Yuta's friend. Johnny was helping Yuta get inside his room. Normally, Yuta could handle his alcohol. Why is he so drunk today? "I'm sorry about Yuta."

Doyoung shook his head. "We're sorry we had to call you." You glanced at the guy on the bed then shook your head. "Y/N." He called and Johnny shook his head at him. "Do you love Yuta?"

The question surprised you. Are they doubting you? "Of course. Why?" But he just shook his head that made you more confused. You thanked them again for bringing your boyfriend home safely.

You glance at Yuta who was sleeping soundly on the bed. Why is he so drunk? He can handle his alcohol well. Is he bothered about something? Maybe stressed about something? And what is it about Doyoung's question? Are they doubting your love for Yuta?

It really is hard to date an idol, a very famous one at that. You hardly had time to see each other, only communicating through phone or video calls. You can't publicly announce your relationship hence, not able to date outside. Yet, you know Yuta is doing his best. As a son. As an NCT member. As your boyfriend. And you can't honestly wish for more.

You love how he checks on you at the beginning of the week, giving you motivation that you needed to survive your work.

You love how he makes sure that you listen to his radio show every Friday since you claimed that you love hearing him say the word 'okaeri'.

You love how he asks you to choose about the little details like his nails or his earrings.

You love how he smiles whenever you pick up his video calls or even how he whines when he doesn't want to end the phone call.

You love how he makes blanket forts whenever he has some time off, even ordering your favorite bulgogi pizza and choosing your favorite movie for your date nights.

You love how he doesn't want to let you go when you're in his arms.

You just love him.

And you want to continue loving him.

That even if the future looks bleak, you want to spend those cloudy days with him. You want to share those waking moments with him, the happiness and the sadness. You want to have kids with him. A future with him.

You placed a soft kiss on his cheek, smiling at his stabilized breathing. "I love you, Nakamoto."

-- Yuta woke up with a massive headache and quickly regretted what happened last night. Why is he so drunk? And why is he in your shared apartment? Who took him home?

He spotted you in the living room, reading a book then realized that it must have been Saturday. You're here at home. He sat next to you, nuzzling his head on the crook of your neck. "I'm sorry." he mumbled that made you smile. "I promise I won't drink too much again. Sorry for bothering you."

You shook your head, threading your fingers through his hair. "It's alright. Johnny and Doyoung brought you home last night, you should call them." He hummed as answer, wrapping his arms on your waist. You smiled at the calmness of it. Just you and Yuta.

You wanted everyday to be like this.

"Yuta…"

"Hmm?"

"Will you marry me?"

He choked on his saliva that made you laugh, staring at you wide eyed. "What?"

"I was asking if you want to marry me." He blinked twice. You leaned closer to him, your head on his shoulder. "We don't have to get married as soon as possible. I just…" You started playing with his fingers while sighing hard. "I like this. I want this for the rest of my life. I want to be with you."

He hugged you tight, exclaiming an 'Oh God!' that made you giggle. "I've been thinking of proposing to you for months now." If possible, his hug got tighter. "I'm so scared that you don't want me in your life."

You giggled at that. Why wouldn't you want him? "I'm not enough. I'm not the best but I'll take care of you for the rest of my life." He mumbled and you hummed. "Fuck, how do you these things? Why do you always race me in things like this? Even saying 'I love you'." You laughed muttering an 'I'm sorry' to him. "I want to properly do this proposal."

You shook your head. "You don't have to prepare a grand proposal, Yuta. I'm fine like this."

He smiled, nuzzling his head on your neck. "I love you, Y/N."

"I love you, Nakamoto Yuta."

-- You were surprised when Yuta was here on a weekday. "No schedules?" You asked when you saw him get out of the shower, wiping his wet hair. It's too early to get ready for your job and you wanted to sleep some more.

Yuta shook his head, grinning a good morning and kissing your forehead. "What time are you going out?" In a sleepy voice, you answered four pm and he smiled. "Let's get our nails done." You just did it three days ago. "Your nails are dirty."

That's one of your pet peeves. Yuta was interested in getting his nails painted when you would always comment that your nails are dirty when it isn't really. In surprise, you checked your nails. Flexing your fingers. When you caught sight of a band on your finger. A ring?

You lightly glanced at Yuta who smiled widely at you. "Will you marry me, Y/N?"

Your arms wrapped around him, not caring about your morning breath or your bed hair. You can feel your eyes stinging from the tears. This is just the perfect proposal.

#yuta nakamoto fluff #yuta nakamoto imagine #yuta nakamoto scenarios #yuta nakamoto drabble #yuta fluff #yuta imagines #yuta imagine #yuta scenario #yuta scena #yuta drabble #nct fluff #nct drabbles #nct scenarios #nct 127 fluff #nct 127 drabbles #nct 127 scenarios

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baepsaesbae · 3 years

Text

Eclipse

Pairing— Day Fairy!Hoseok x Night fairy!reader

Genre— SMUT, fae au, angst, idiots to lovers

Warnings— Oral (F receiving), nipple play, explicit unprotected sex, hair pulling, both praise and slight derogatory dirty talk bc I can’t make up my mind, slight swearing

Word Count— 3.3k

Summary— The summer solstice is here and it’s time to celebrate. Your favorite part of the solstice is that you get to see Hoseok, or rather, the love of your life. It’s too bad you haven’t told him how you really felt, even though it has been centuries. Maybe this year will be different.

A/N— This fic is part of The Fabled Collab hosted by @joontopia, @kimtaehyunq, and @whipped-for-kpop-fics. Hoseok is my sunshine, so I just had to write about him! Thank you to @s0seo and @taegularities for giving me motivation to write. Lastly, huge shoutout to Eden from @thebiasrekkers for making this awesome banner for me! As always, let me know how you guys like the fic! My askbox is always open <3

Fae clans have many holidays and rituals, but solstices are by far the most celebrated. Solstices mark the pivotal event that shifts the seasonal responsibilities between the sun and moon clans. The summer and winter solstice are always the biggest events of the year, with about a week of festivities leading up to the final event.

Sweat ran down your spine as the sun beat down on you. You’ve been holding up a stupid banner for what felt like an eternity.

“Okay wait, you’re gonna hate me but I think we should put it back to where we originally had it,” Sunghoon said with furrowed brows.

“That’s it. We’ve been doing this all morning. Figure this out yourself,” you angrily threw down the banner and stormed off before Sunghoon had the chance to yell at you.

You ignored the friendly calls from other fae that were setting up decor nearby. It was way past your bedtime. Cranky and drenched in sweat, you were definitely not a happy night fairy. Heading straight to the pond, you derobed and found comfort in the cool waters that washed away your stress instantly. You gazed up at the blue sky while floating on your back. The day truly was beautiful, you couldn’t deny that. However, nighttime was better in your very much biased opinion. The dark sky littered with countless stars that glittered like diamonds was an unbeatable sight.

“Hey there sunshine!” a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts. You dipped back into the water and turned to the source of the sound.

“Hey there, perv. Care to join me?” you beckoned.

“I wish I could, but I need to go finalize some plans for the handoff ceremony--”

“It’s the same EVERY year. C’mon Hobi, you don’t need to go,” you whined.

“I’ll meet you back here at sunset, how does that sound?” he tried to appease you.

“Midnight. I’m already exhausted, I don’t wanna wake up early,” you blew raspberries into the pond.

“That’s fair. I’ll see you then okay?” Hoseok waved before flying off.

On top of parties filled with indulgences that would blow the mind of any feeble human, Hoseok was the added bonus that made you eager for each solstice. Admittedly, you two have had some sort of flirtationship going on for the past few centuries. Your friends always teased you about how madly head over heels you were for him. As much as you wanted to believe that he loved you in the same way, something always felt off.

Hoseok always reciprocated your flirtatious advances, but it felt more like a game between friends rather than something substantial. You’ve even observed his interactions with other fairies, and it didn’t seem like he gave you any special treatment. He was simply a good friendly guy that everyone loved, but not the way that you loved him.

You were dying to know how he truly felt about you. All these years of playful banter had been fun, but they had also been simultaneously eating away at you. There’s no way he doesn’t know that you love him. At the same time, what if he thinks you’re just a good friend? You needed to know for sure, and you intended to confront him about it at midnight.

“Good evening,” you greeted Hoseok shyly as you approached the pond’s bank.

“Good day to you sunshine,” Hoseok called back as he kicked at the water.

“How’d the meeting go?” you asked.

“Boring as always. You’re right, it’s the same every year. But the elders still want to go over everything again to ensure that the ceremony is perfect,” Hoseok sighed.

“Thanks for coming to hangout with me even though you’re so busy,” you said, suddenly feeling guilty.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been looking forward to this all day! You’re the perfect person to unwind with after a long day,” Hoseok smiled. There it was. The radiant smile you fell for the first time you ever met him.

“You sure I’m the perfect person for that? What do you do when you’re back in your own land surrounded by other day fae?” you prodded, hoping to steer the conversation onto the ‘what are we’ topic.

“I have my friends there for sure, and I appreciate them too. But it’s different with you. Maybe because I can only hangout with you twice a year. You’re like my super special friend, yaknow?” Hoseok tried to explain.

“Uh yeah, for sure. Like a special playdate kind of thing huh?” you tried to hide your hurt feelings.

“Exactly! You get it. It’s like you’re my favorite dessert that I can only have twice a year,” Hoseok nodded.

“Right…” you whispered softly to yourself. You spent the rest of the night listening to the unfruitful discussions Hoseok had during his meetings. All the excitement over the festival had drained from you. Now, you just wanted it to be over so you can go sulk in peace.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Hoseok observed, “You haven’t interjected once about how stupid our traditions are or how you’re looking forward to having long nights again.”

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m just tired. Sunghoon really worked me to the bone yesterday, that damn day fairy,” you faked a yawn.

“Hey, be nice! Wasn’t it you who volunteered to help us anyway?” Hoseok shook his head.

‘Yeah, because I thought I’d be able to work with you,’ you thought.

“It was a bizarre streak of altruism, that’s all,” you shrugged.

“Nah, I know you’re a kind fairy deep down!” Hoseok playfully nudged your shoulder. Normally you would welcome this type of physical affection, but for right now it served as a painful reminder that you were merely seen as a buddy.

You actively avoided Hoseok for the remainder of the week, counting down the hours to when it would finally all be over. You made up some lame excuse to not hangout with Hoseok every time he approached you. He must have caught on by the final day, either that or he was extremely busy. Afterall, he was the MC for the entire ordeal.

Apparently, your abrasive reputation preceded you because no one wanted your help with anything. As soon as they saw you coming, they would randomly find themselves very preoccupied with something that made them too busy to talk to you. The only person who would put you to work was Sunghoon, who was one of Hoseok’s best friends. You wondered why he was always so nice to you even when you complained the entire time you helped him.

“That’s the last table! They all look great, thanks for helping with the set up,” Sunghoon gave you a thumbs up.

“You know it’s pointless setting up all these tables. Most of the fairies are just gonna be dancing or fucking all night long, no one is gonna be sitting down,” you said.

“Are you gonna be one of the fairies partying?” Sunghoon inquired.

“Definitely not,” you answered curtly.

“Then I’m happy at least one of these tables will be utilized,” Sunghoon nodded, “Try to enjoy yourself tonight okay?”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

The entire forest seemed to come alive that night. The trees swayed with the enchanting music while cheers of merriment erupted around the party scene. You sat alone at a mushroom table with your third (or was it fourth?) cup of berry wine. You glared at the fairies who had lost themselves to their pleasures, whether it be the wine or the toadstools, or perhaps even both. Fairies who had given into their more lustful urges could be seen on the outskirts of the dance floor, some in the innocent stages of kissing and others entangled full fledged fornication. Scoffing at the obscene orgy, you stumbled off to get another cup of wine. Even though you weren’t really participating, you had to admit that fairies knew how to throw a party.

“Hey ___, I noticed you’ve been by yourself the whole evening. Want some company?” someone asked behind you as you filled up your mug to the brim. You turned to see two Sunghoons merge to become one hazy Sunghoon in the blink of an eye.

“F-ffuck off Sunghoon,” you slurred.

“I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you did for this year’s summer solstice,” Sunghoon continued, unfazed by your harshness, “Wanna dance to celebrate?”

“Nope,” you answered as you pushed him aside.

“Yeah she seemed pretty pissed dude,” Sunghoon said while taking a large swig.

“At you or in general?” Hoseok inquired.

“Dunno man, she’s always been like that. However, she seemed more aggravated than usual, which is hard to imagine,” Sunghoon chuckled, “Did you do something to her?”

“No! I’ve been replaying everything we talked about at the pond but everything seemed fine! I even told her that she was my super special friend and---oh shit,” Hoseok’s face fell.

“Idiot,” Sunghoon tsked.

Both fae clans had gathered by the main stage, intently listening to the same speeches that the clan leaders have spoken for centuries. You watched apathetically as the everlasting flame was being formally handed over. The crowd roared as the flame changed from a deep crimson red to an icy silver color with a blue hue, signifying that the solstice had come to pass.

If the festival wasn’t wild before, it had only gotten more out of hand after the official ceremony. Seeing the other fairies go wild in every sense of the word made you nauseous. The noise level intensified as you watched your fairy brethren engage in rather promiscuous activities. Someone even beckoned for you to join in the fun, but you just walked away. The only person you wanted to have that kind of fun with was Hoseok. It infuriated you that your thoughts always drifted to him. You filled up your cup one last time and walked away from the ruckus, towards an empty grove. Hopefully you would be able to wallow in self pity in peace there.

The stars twinkled above you, and dim moonlight speckled the ground around you as it shone through the trees. You could still hear the party, but it was much fainter now and served as nice background noise to keep you from drowning in your thoughts. With a deep exhale, you fought to hold back tears. You felt so foolish. Too many years have been wasted in vain for an unrequited love that you should have seen coming. It was so stupid of you to hold onto a sliver of hope that Hoseok would like you back.

“The party is that way,” a familiar voice called out to you.

“Then why aren’t you there?” you didn’t try to mask the annoyance in your voice.

“I saw you walk away, I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why the fuck would you even care?” you sat up and hissed.

“Why are you being so hostile? You’re the one who has been avoiding me all week!” Hoseok raised his voice.

“I’m sure you didn’t have much time to spend with me anyway,” you huffed.

“That’s not true. I spent every moment of my free time looking for you, only for you to turn me away. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Hoseok calmed down.

“Fine. I’m in love with you, okay? How fucking embarrassing. It hurt when you said that I was your super best friend or whatever. Seeing you afterward just reminded me of how dumb I am,” you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Oh sunshine, I’m the idiot. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re my special friend because I like you too. I wanted to spend every second with you this week. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, I’m so sorry ____,” Hoseok got down on his knees and pulled you in for a hug. You were stunned.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner then!” you pushed him off.

“I thought it was obvious from the way we flirted!” he argued.

“You’re nice to everyone, it was hard for me to tell,” you pouted.

“My apologies for not being a sourpuss like you,” Hoseok laughed.

“So...what now? It wasn’t really a romantic confession but I guess our feelings are out in the open now,” you whispered as you leaned against him.

Suddenly, Hoseok pushed you back to the ground, straddling your hips. His dark hair nearly covered his eyes as he looked down at you. He was beyond beautiful, his white iridescent wings glittered ethereally in the moonlight.

“Remember when I said you’re like a dessert I can only have twice a year? I’d like to make that a reality,” Hobi smirked. He bent over to kiss you. It was soft at first, his plush lips pressing up against yours. He gently cupped your face with one hand while the other wandered to your chest, undoing your blouse. Lust overtook the both of you as the kiss deepened and Hoseok fondled your breasts. You let out a small gasp as he played with your nipples, rolling them between his fingers.

“Spread those legs for me, sunshine,” he demanded.

You complied, slowly exposing yourself to him. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him while in such a compromising position. Hoseok gingerly kissed a trail along your inner thighs towards your core. His hot breath against your pussy made you squirm under him in anticipation.

“So impatient,” he chuckled, “Let’s play a game. You have to make eye contact with me while I eat you out. Every time you look away, I stop.”

“You’re evil,” you huffed before reluctantly looking at the beautiful being perched between your legs.

“That’s my girl,” he purred approvingly before spreading your folds with his fingers. His eyes darkened with lust as you watched him lick tantalizingly slow stripes. He could feel your need for more, so he moved up to focus on your clit, giving it special attention as his tongue swirled around it.

You tangled your fingers into his hair, gripping him tighter as he licked your clit faster. All your composure was lost as you looked down at him with pleading eyes.

“What is it? Need more?” Hoseok teased as his fingers traced your entrance.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Please what?” Hoseok feigned ignorance

“Please touch me,” you said softly.

“We need to work on your begging, but you’re so adorable I can’t say no,” Hobi dove back into stimulating your clit as he slipped a finger inside of you. He smirked at how easily he went in, and immediately added a second finger. The new feeling had you throwing your head back as he grazed your g-spot. Right as things began to feel good, he retracted everything.

“Hobi!” you cried out in frustration.

“You looked away. Remember the rules to our little game?” Hoseok chided. You glared down at him as he immediately picked up where he left off, not giving you time to readjust. Fighting back the urge to close your eyes, soft moans escaped from your lips.

“Ready to cum, my dear ___?” he asked sweetly as his fingers dipped to directly attack your g-spot.

There was no time to give a proper response. Your back arched and your toes curled up as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Drenched in your juices, Hoseok glistened under the moonlight.

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Hoseok praised, “But I’m not finished with you yet,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

He unbuckled his trousers, releasing the monster that dangled between his legs. You willingly spread your legs for him, eager for more.

“So needy, you haven’t had enough yet?” Hoseok tsked as he rubbed the tip of his cock along your folds.

Finally, Hoseok began to bury himself into you. He took his time, relishing how your warm walls squeezed him. You closed your eyes in ecstasy, focusing on feeling every inch of him. Once he bottomed out, you wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to bring him impossibly closer. The dark lust that swam in his eyes broke for a second, replaced by the warm smile that made you fall in love with him in the first place. He bent down to kiss you, and you happily reciprocated.

Hoseok moved his hips slowly as he fucked you at a deep yet gentle pace. Mouths still colliding, you shyly licked at his lips. Taking your hint, Hoseok’s tongue met yours. As the kisses deepened with more saliva being interchanged, Hoseok’s thrusts became harsher.

“You’re so fucking sexy. Lemme see that ass baby,” Hoseok growled as he flipped you over.

He smacked your ass twice and watched it jiggle in awe before placing a firm grip on your hips. Almost animalistically, he bucked into you. Your body jolted forward with each thrust. You had never been fucked this hard before, and it was heavenly. Hoseok’s control over his body movement was insane. Your moans grew louder as his hips continuously rolled into you.

One of Hoseok’s hands formed a tight grip on your hair, roughly bringing your head up off the ground. You couldn’t stop your wanton moans from filling the open air.

“H-Hoseok,” you cried out.

“What is it? Is it too much for you?” Hoseok cooed in your ear as he brought your head back even closer to him.

“Mmm-no,” was all you could make out.

“I knew you could take it all, such a good slut,” Hoseok praised as he let go of your hair.

Unable to hold yourself up, you immediately fell back onto your chest. Your fingernails dug into the dirt as you could feel another orgasm swelling up inside of you.

“I’m gonna cum again,” you wailed out.

“I’m almost there, wait for me baby,” Hoseok instructed.

With perfect timing, Hoseok let out a guttural moan as he spilled his seed inside of you. Sounds of pleasure bounced around the grove as you came in unison. Hoseok’s cum dripped down the sides of your inner thighs when he pulled out.

“How did I do, sunshine?” Hoseok asked jovially as you laid on the ground before him.

“You knocked me out. I don’t think I can move for a while,” you weakly answered with a smile.

“Not a problem, we can just stay here for a while, sunshine,” Hoseok laid down beside you, beckoning for you to rest atop his chest.

“I like when you call me that,” you yawned.

“Sunshine?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, that. It makes me feel special,” you nodded.

“Is that so? I’m glad it makes you feel special, because you are. You’ve always been the spunky night fairy that everyone knows but is too afraid to approach,” Hoseok laughed.

“What! I am totally friendly! Just not to those who piss me off,” you defended, “Which...I guess is a lot of people so I suppose I see your point. What made you want to be my friend if everyone thought I’m scary?”

“You treated me like everyone else. It always felt like people put on a fake facade around me since I’m the chief’s son. They’re nice to me to try and curry favor with my father, or maybe flirt with me to try and gain some special sort of status. I don’t know. I’m just me,” Hoseok shrugged.

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re my sunshine,” you hugged him.

“That makes me feel great. I’ll do my best to see you more than twice a year, okay?” he kissed your forehead.

“I guess I can clear my schedule and come over to visit you too,” you giggled, “Or maybe we can run away and make a clan of our own.”

“Are you serious?” he asked, “Don’t tempt me. I’d love to go somewhere where no one knows my name or expects anything from me.”

“How about we go to where the day meets the night?” you offered.

“Like what? An eclipse?” Hoseok said as he gazed into the night sky.

“Precisely. We can make an eclipse clan. We only have to do festivals for eclipses, and those are kinda rare,” you giggled.

“Sounds like a good dream, sunshine. Let’s seriously discuss it in the morning when we’re both more sober,” Hoseok kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight, my sunshine,” you whispered into his chest.

#bts smut #jhope smut #hoseok smut #bangtanarmynet #btscreatorscorner #ksmutclub #btswritingcafe #bts fanfic #jhope fanfic #hoseok fanfic

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wordsfromthesol · 3 years

Text

The Break-Up

Author: @wordsfromthesol Taglist: @zphilophobiaz Pairing: Wally West x Batsis!Reader Word Count: 1.4k

Dick was supposed to be on a mission all week in South America. You and Wally were elated, as now you had the whole house to roam free. You could even go on a proper date in Gotham, without worrying that Nightwing might see you while he was on patrol. On day 3, the two of you opted for a movie at home. Cuddled up on the couch, you were completely oblivious that Dick had entered the room. Even Wally wasn't fast enough to break free of your grasp.

"Dick…you're back early." The words stumbled out of his mouth as he meets him on the other side of the living room, trying to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.

"Apparently not early enough. Something you guys need to tell me?" Dick eyed his best friend before turning his glare towards you.

"Nope!" Wally screamed before speeding out of the house. There was no point in trying to hide it. Dick was one of the best detectives and the evidence had been plastered in front of his face.

"We're dating. Have been for a while now." Your lackadaisical demeanor made his reaction worse.

"YOU’RE WHAT?!" He yelled out before adding, "You can't date WALLY!"

"Wait wait wait. So let me get this straight. It's okay for Wally to be your best friend. And it's okay that he knows all about our family secrets. But it's not okay for me to date him? In what world does that make sense Dick?!" You threw your hands up in frustration.

"In the world where you're my baby sister!" Dick knew his argument didn't make sense, but he made it anyway.

"You're being impossible!" You screamed after him as he stormed away.

Wally wouldn't answer your calls for the next week. You couldn't even see him if you wanted to and Dick was making sure of that. Hell, the whole family probably was. I mean, why should you get to be happy. Once Wally had decided to stop ignoring your calls, he started making them. Constantly. And now it was your turn to ignore his, it was only fair. That and you had no idea what to say or even how you felt anymore. As soon as your family found out it seemed like Wally crumpled and gave in. He should know better than that, right? Then again, maybe you just weren't worth it. Maybe you loved him more than he loved you.

Finally, you had enough. After all, you could only wallow in self-pity for so long and you definitely didn't want to be around your family any longer. Their constant check-ins and asking if you were going to go on patrol was getting redundant. So you made a decision; first thing in the morning, as everyone was sleeping, you gathered your stuff and left. With your emergency cash and passport in tow, you borrowed one of Bruce's cars and started driving. You had absolutely no idea where you were going, but anywhere was better than here.

"Wally?" Dick mumbled out. He hadn't called his best friend in almost a week.

"She's gone. I know. I've already searched the entire city for her." Wally's disheartened tone melted into sorrow. "I really messed up, didn't I?" He heard a long sigh from the other end.

"I think we both did." Silence fell between the old friends as both of them realized their mistakes. Finally, Wally's voice echoed through the speaker.

"Do you think we can find her?"

"I don't know. Tim's looking…but she was trained by Bruce. If she doesn't want to be found…" Dick's voice trailed off, trying not to think of the potential outcomes. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I can…uh…check a few places. But she ran away from me too," Wally's voice grew almost inaudible, "rightfully so."

"She took the blue Nissan sedan. License plate 6J11AN." Neither of them bothered exchanging pleasantries before hanging up the phone. The relationship was still on edge, it didn't feel right.

You had absolutely no plans. All the covert training had gone out the window as you mindlessly drove down the winding back roads. Did you have any idea where you were going? Absolutely not. Did you end up following a dirt road to a small, abandoned, and partially dilapidated cabin? Absolutely.

The cabin turned out to be a great project to keep your mind off of the turmoil in your life. It had been a few days and you were working on fixing the fence outside when you felt an unexpected gust of air. Shit. You had become all too accustomed to what followed and there he stood in front of you, mouth agape.

"What do you want Wally?" Your apathetic tone gave him pause, but he soon returned to his normal demeanor.

"Are you kidding?! It's been days Y/N! You haven't made contact with anyone!" You had gotten used to deciphering his slurred speech, but these words were clear as day and filled with trepidation.

"Well, my supposed boyfriend ran as soon as my brother found out, then ignored me for a week. And my brother was a douchebag you said I couldn't date you. I had no one. And torturing myself in that house…I couldn't do it anymore." Wally was speechless, a feat not easily achieved, so you turned back to the fence in dire need of replacement. Before you could pull off another board, Wally grabbed your wrist.

"I fucked up. I know. But I was scared. Dick and I…we've been there for each other since the beginning --" You cut him off, it was an explanation you didn't need.

"Wally. I am his sister. I know that. I watched you two grow up, even though you didn’t always see me. I looked up to him, to you, that's why I became a vigilante. But you had to have known this," you gestured between the two of you, "couldn't have continued without Dick knowing."

"It has been nearly 8 months…" Wally mumbled. He honestly didn't know what he was expecting to do about Dick. He just knew that he had been in love with you for years and he couldn’t take it anymore.

You turned back to the fence with his comment, but as soon as you blinked it had been completely redone. "REALLY WALLY?!" You grew more agitated with every passing moment.

"You're using it as a distraction!" He argued back.

"Of course I am! This whole trip is supposed to be one big distraction! A distraction from the two most important people in my life not caring about me. A distraction from the revelation that I'm completely alone." The words resonated through the air as you began to break down. As you felt your legs grow weak, you became pressed against Wally's chest. You didn't have the time or energy to protest. Somehow hours must have passed, as you heard the engine of Dick's motorcycle make its way down the winding road. Your eyes peered up at Wally, "I think this is the longest you've ever stood still." He didn't say anything but simply pressed a kiss to the top of your head as his friend rounded the corner.

You pulled yourself from Wally's arms as Dick approached you. Dick's expression softened as he realized the misery he was putting you through.

"Y/N. I'm sorry." In your 22 years of existence, you could count the number of times Dick Grayson had sincerely apologized on one hand. There was no blame thrown at you or vindication of his actions. Just a simple apology, an effort of recompense. "In actuality, I should've known. The way the two of you look at each other, talk about each other," He chuckled to himself. "I'm supposed to be a detective."

"So the two of you are done being jackasses then?" Your head bobbed from one to the other. The two looked at each other before nodding. "And you were stupid idiots who won't ever put me through something like this again?" Your actions, as well as there's, were repeated. "Fine. Let's go home."

Wally raced in front of you. "Wait. What does that mean for us?"

You shrugged, "I don't know. Guess I'm just hoping for someone who will actually stand up for me." Wally took your hands in his before pressing them to his lips.

"I always want to be there for you. I promise I'll never make that mistake again."

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reidsconverse · 3 years

Text

matchmaker • spencer reid

Spencer X Fem!reader

Warnings: None!

Based on this request: Omg blurb where the team is having a night out and the girls and the guys are separated at the bar hanging out and all the girls are talking about who the hottest guy is and everyone says Derek and reader says she thinks spencer is hotter and everyone is kinda shocked and then Penelope tells him/tries to get them together?? (sorry its almost a month late anon)

“Oh my god, look at him go.” Garcia said, pointing at Derek who was currently in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by girls. This came as no surprise to any of you, he was known for his good looks and charming personality, both of those combined made him a catch to most girls.

“God, theres a reason he’s the most attractive guy on the team. Oh look at him move!” She squealed which made you giggle. Yeah, Miss Penelope Garcia was most definitely drunk.

“Hey,” Emily said in disagreement, she was equally as drunk which led to her having even less filter than normal, “Hotch is up there, something about how he’s always so tense just does it for me. I just wanna hold him down, loosen him up and show him who’s actually in charge, y’know.”

JJ groaned in disgust, not wanting to think of her superior in that way, “Ok Emily, time to slow down.” Her mom side coming out as she slyly replaces Emilys vodka with some water.

“What about you Y/N? Derek or Hotch... ooo what about Papa Rossi...? Garcia asked animatedly, wiggling her eyebrows and laughing at her addition of the older man who honestly, you viewed as a father.

“First of all, please never say that again. Secondly, none of them.” You said, taking a sip of your drink, now you certainly weren’t sober, but you also weren’t the drunk enough to reveal your secret crush... or so you thought.

“Oh come on,” JJ spoke up, “you’re telling me you find neither of them attractive.”

“No Jennifer, I just don’t think they’re the most attractive...” You said, a slight smile on your face.

Emily adorably scrunched up her face in confusion before it hit her. “No way... Dr Genius, really?” She didnt mean it in a bad way, you had just never outwardly expressed anything but a friendly interest in the doctor.

You felt the 3 girls stares boring into you and you caved. “Ok Ok, yes personally its Spencer. I’ve liked him since I first started but he would never be interested in me so lets not discuss it”

Penelope’s face lit up at your confession, completely ignoring your request. “Ooooo y/n, oh you have to tell him, oh you’d be so cute together.” Her voice was progressively getting louder and you didnt wanna risk anyone overhearing.

“Pen, seriously, he wouldn’t be interested, I mean he can do so much bett-“ You started, before you were cut off by Penelope.

“Dont be ridiculous, have you seen the way that boy looks at you, he’s totally into you.” She said, and before you could realise what was happening, she was calling him over.

“Penelope no what are you do-,” You began to protest but stopping when he approached the table. “Hey Spence.” You waved up at him, earning a smile in return.

“Hey! What’s up?” He asked.

“Reid, JJ was just about leave and she’s mine and Emily’s ride so I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind keeping our good friend Y/N here company” She said, slightly slurring her words and smiling as she looked back and forth between you and him. Oh my god you were gonna kill her.

“Uhh, sure yeah I have to wait for Derek anyway, I promised to drive him home.” He said, nodding towards the man in the middle of the dancefloor, clearly too drunk to be driving himself.

Penelope glanced at the other two girls, who quickly began gathering their things in order to leave. She placed a hand on Reids shoulder and smiled at him. “You, Spencer Reid, are a good friend.” She said before leaning down to whisper in your ear. “Maybe even boyfriend.”

She pulled away before you could say anything back, giggling to herself before wishing us goodbye and joining Emily and JJ by the door.

You watched them leave, as Spencer took a seat next to you, “Sooo... how’s your thesis going?” He asked, genuinely interested in your work which made you smile, Penny was right about one thing, he was a really good friend.

“Uhh its ok, research is a killer and I kinda hit a dead end but i’m getting back into it.” You replied, and he nodded. It was quiet for a second as you fiddled with your glass.

“I-“ “So-“ You both said at the same time, making you laugh nervously.

“You first.” You offered, and he nodded. He also seemed nervous about what he was gonna say which made you curious.

“I- uh, I kinda overheard your conversation earlier...” He said, and your smile instantly dropped, and you could feel your stomach churning. He knew your secret, he knew that you liked him.

“Oh my god, Spencer i’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” You said, about to begin a rambling of apologies when he quickly cuts you off.

“No! No you didn’t. I just, it was unexpected. Why would you think I wouldn’t be interested?” He asked, head tilting to the side as he looked you like a small confused puppy.

You looked down at your glass and sighed, “C’mon Spence, you’re you...” His confused silence made you elaborate, “You’re amazing Spencer, you’re kind, smart, funny and... and frankly you’re incredibly attractive. You’re way out of my league.”

You looked up when you felt his hand gently graze yours, Spencers aversion to touch was well known by everyone at the fbi, so this physical...almost intimate contact came as surprise.

“I- I’m not good at this,” He stuttered and it was your turn to be confused but luckily he continued. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love you from the first day we met and... I know that might be ridiculous to say because we havent spent much time together and love at first sight isn’t that common, actually a study showed that-“

Whilst you normally loved to listen to your favourite genius ramble on about facts and figures, right now all you wanted was to tell him you loved him too, honestly it felt like a pinch me moment and if it weren’t for the warmth of his hand against yours, you would’ve thought it was a dream.

“Spencer,” You looked up at him and smiled, gently squeezing the hand that was holding yours as reassurance... to tell him it was real, “I love you too.”

He slowly leaned in, his eyes darting from your lips to your eyes silently asking if it was ok to kiss you and you didn’t hesitate to pull him forward and do what you had been waiting forever to do, your lips moulding together perfectly as if they were built for each other.

Little did you know that Derek was filming the whole thing to send to Garcia, who no doubt would not stop talking about what a matchmaker she is, and truthfully shes a damn good one.

#3 posts in one day???#my hotchniss heart won this one sorry#spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid blurb #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #mgg #mgg x reader #mgg fluff #criminal minds #my works!

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fuzzfuzzywritings · 3 years

Text

Reunion |Dean Winchester x Mom! Reader|

Anon: Can I request Dean Winchester? X reader?. He breaks up with her a few years ago before he starts the whole hunting thing? And like? reader finds out she’s pregnant and the baby is his but never tells him, so once their son reaches 6-years-old? They run into each other when Y/n discovers something bad about her home? And later it’s all fluff-?-! Thank you!!

Note: S/n (Son’s Name). This took a lot of turns, Please forgive me if this wasn’t living to anyone’s expectations. This is like, my first time writing for Supernatural so...

The girl had embraced the smell of the bar, the liquor burning her throat and sending a very intensive taste into her mouth. Eyes roaming around as she waited for the return of her boyfriend. Dean Winchester. The two met from a bar hopping night which was eventful for them both, after a nice one night together. Dean couldn’t get enough of the girl, she was too addicting so the two became more than a hookup. They became a couple with much love and care in the world. Nothing about them would change, Y/n wanted to believe it as well as Dean did. She remembers when he explained his childhood when she finally believed him, he took pride upon it. Yet, Dean hadn’t found the courage to admit something to her, something he was hiding.

3 weeks ago, Dean wanted to set out in search for his father, wanting to get Sam to join him. The job was far too dangerous for someone like Y/n. He didn’t wanna risk her safety, her life, her. And yet, he hadn’t told her, leaving her to believe he would be by her all the time. Poor Y/n, how clueless she was sitting at a bar waiting for him to come back some time soon. But he didn’t. His seat remained empty and her glass remained empty after each refill.

“That’s enough for me. Thank you,” Y/n finally spoke up as she stood from her seat, grabbing her phone and wallet.

She walked outside, nothing but the cool breeze, night sky, stars, and full moon remained. Ringing Dean again, attempting to reach his number. Each ring went by, each call remained failed. So she gave it one last attempt, finally, he picked up.

“Hello?” he spoke. His voice coming out more quiet and bothered.

She had taken notice in her boyfriend’s change of behavior, she took notice in the way he answered the phone. He’s always calling her pet names to make her cringe as she would laugh but the only thing she got was a simple and boring, Hello. This was nothing like her Dean but would she be so wrong for questioning him?.

“Where are you?” she slurred slightly, the feeling of heavy liquor setting over her. “You were supposed to be back an hour ago”.

Her voice couldn’t sound demanding and intimidating, instead. Her voice came out soft and sad, the shakiness remaining. Dean’s heart wrenched tightly at the tone she gave him. He knew he fucked up, he knew he was in the wrong.

“I’m on my way just sit tight” he said before hanging up. Causing the girl too groan in frustration. Removing her heels from her aching feet, she sat on the steps to the bar. Allowing the breeze to hit her exposed skin, watching people enter and exit the bar. She hated it. Her and Dean would bicker but it was nothing like him to leave her alone in a bar. He was always protective over her, not allowing a drunk to put his filthy hands on her but he left her alone and stranded. She felt as if she was the issue, she couldn’t help but live in her thoughts.

‘What if he’s fallen out of love?’

It was a common thought in her mind but her thinking was interrupted by a car pulling up. She thanked the heavens, it was Dean. He got out as he walked up to her. The sight of her being tipsy and upset bothered him, Dean wasn’t immune to seeing her so upset since they had been the happy and cheerful couple.

“Let’s get you home” he suggested before picking her up, all she could do was lean into his touch, this is what she craved. Yet it was like he didn’t crave her, almost like he didn’t bother. He opened the door to his car, gently placing her in the passenger seat before closing it. Going to the drivers side, she leaned her head against the cold glass, her eyes roaming the somewhat blurry lights.

“Are you leaving me?” she suddenly asked out loud. Dean stopped what he was doing, staring at her. He could tell her question was slurred but it wasn’t drunk feelings that would past by. It was her genuine concern.

“What gave you that idea?” he asked her, had she found out so soon this was gonna happen?. She shook her head and looked at him, her eyes were cold and bitter. He stared back at her before putting his foot on the peddle, she leaned against the window again. His eyes scanning the road.

The silence was visible, unspoken tension in the air, the bitter and all too familiar feeling circled them. “You won’t speak to me about anything when it comes to our future, I told you I wanted us to settle down, get married, You can continue the hunting job, I don’t care but I was open and honest when you asked me what I wanted, I said I wanted this relationship to be forever. So what are you not telling me?” she explained and questioned him, she was expressive about her feelings. But she knew he had more to speak about.

“We’ll talk when we get back home” He said playing it off. She only hummed in response, her heart aching at his words. Brushing her off like she was just some child. Like her feelings didn’t matter, she felt useless to the situation. They built a home together. A nice comfortable apartment, they called it home. So where could she be going wrong?.

The two exited the car, entering the comfortable apartment that smelled like comfort lavender. The scented candles making the apartment smell fresh, the warmth of home overtaking her. As she walked to the bedroom, her eyes stopped upon a packed bag. Nothing could process, she was far too scared of reaching inside to find out what it could be. Yet she acted as if she hadn’t spotted it, walking past it, turning a blind eye.

“Can we talk before you shower?” Dean asked. She nodded her head, as she put her phone and wallet on the bed. Walking into the living room, she sat on the couch beside him. Dean hadn’t looked too happy about this talk.

“I...Wanna break up with you...” he said suddenly. His words processing in her mind, nothing made sense. She had so many questions but only asking a few would be the best choice for her.

“Are you falling out of love with me?” she asked. God, she hated how desperate she sounded. All she asked was for an honest answer but Dean couldn’t reveal the truth. Not to her.

“Yes...there’s someone else in this life for you but it’s not me...I’ve been wanting to tell you for 3 weeks now but I couldn’t find the courage, but please this is nothing against you. You know I love you” he said.

Her eyes became glossy, shaking her head, a small and fake laugh left her mouth.

“Love me? If you loved me, you wouldn’t be leaving me alone. You knew I wanted a life and you decided to be a selfish asshole? I’m done!. I’ve given you everything, I thought for once someone loved me! Seems you’re like all of them...a worthless bastard. I want you out of my house before I get out of the shower” her words were laced with venom.

Dean couldn’t explain himself, all he could do was watch the girl leave and slam the bathroom door shut. He couldn’t cry in front of her, he only silently took his bag before looking back one last time. Closing the door behind him. Meanwhile, she cried in the bathroom, breaking down into a depressive scream. She wanted to just run after him but she felt so alone. She felt caved in.

The next morning, She felt numb as if nothing in the world mattered, throwing up into the toilet as her head leaned against her head. Nothing could process her mind, had she of been sick from the liquor? she didn’t have too much. She had small shots but that’s it. Suddenly she remembered, when she had to eat something, it wouldn’t settle with her stomach, whenever she would crave something her taste, she would feel sick. She wanted to find reasons but all of it boiled down into pregnancy.

Had she of been drinking while pregnant? she had hoped this wasn’t true. Quickly she remembered the pregnancy test her and Dean bought a few months ago. They assumed she was pregnant and bought multiple kits to find out. Thankfully she wasn’t at the time but that didn’t stop them from any sexual intercourse. So it would make sense.

She grabbed the pink and white stick, quickly opening it before putting it to use. Her mind remained worried, nothing could be thought of except the words in her mind. ‘Please don’t be pregnant, please don’t be pregnant, please!’.

Time passed, finally she looked at it, her hands shaking as her mind felt torn. Reading the test nothing flashed at her but those two lines. She reached for her phone, quickly scrolling down the call log. She needed to tell Dean. Once she reached his name, her mind flashed back to last night. Now she questioned if calling him would be a good idea. Sighing softly. She shook her head. Instead she clicked his contact, erasing his number.

Dialing in a phone number, a soft voice spoke on the other end of the line. She smiled at the grateful voice of her mother. Screaming about the results, she was happy. Explaining the story while also covering up the small hint of sadness from last night’s events. Yet her mom had told her it was only right to admit to Dean. She figured that her mom was correct but she needed time. Maybe they could makeup in the process.

-2 Weeks Later-

With lots of thought and practice, she prepared herself to tell Dean, of course she had to find him which she did, at a bar. Of course, The two had sat in silence, it was quiet, both of their hearts ached at the sight of each other. Yet Dean wanted to keep his cool, he was going to make sure that he didn’t break, not in front of her.

“So what brought you here?” he asked her, she cleared her throat. “It’s important,” she said. He hummed in response, waiting for her to continue.

“After you left, I found out the next day that-” Y/n was cut off by a woman walking towards them.

She sat on Dean’s lap, glaring at Y/n who sat across from them. She had no intentions on being there for a hang out. Which Dean had caught on when she acted odd around him, she would always order the strongest liquor she could handle but all she had was water. He also picked up on her playing with her thumbs, this came as no surprise that he could tell when something was wrong with her. He wanted to pull her in his arms and comfort her but he fought the urge.

“Whose this?” the woman asked. Y/n gave her a gentle and fake smile, she felt uncomfortable with her sitting on his lap. She felt childish for letting this effect her since she simply was nothing more than a one night. Of course, people never change. Y/n wanted to believe he did. He leaves her and here he is, sitting down with someone else.

“I’m Y/n-” The woman clapped her hands, interrupting Y/n from speaking. “His ex, I heard about you. Nothing surprising to see you come crawling back to what’s mine,” she spoke, she was smug about it, she was careless. Y/n could admit she was dumb to believe her and Dean would be more. She was a hookup, She was just someone he could sleep with and leave. She was nothing. Y/n wanted to do it, yet she bit her tongue, saving herself a fight.

“You know what? I’ll be on my way,” Y/n rolled her eyes. She stood up, leaving. Dean waved at her with a smile but when she walked out, his smile left. He removed the girl from his lap, sending a glare at her. “You are nothing else, You are nothing more, Don’t ever, overstep your line and talk to her in such a way. I love her, I’m leaving,” Dean said as he grabbed his keys and Jacket. Leaving the bar, his eyes focused on her figure getting into the back of a car, there she was. Leaving again, he felt like he deserved it, he did leave her and he felt like he had to live with that forever. Yet it hurt Y/n because now he will never know...He’s gonna be a dad.

1st month\

‘I can’t do this on my own..’

It was stressful, Eventually Y/n needed help leaving, Moving into a better and comfortable home. She came in contact with Bobby, He was happy to hear the news, He viewed Y/n like family. He cared for her, so whenever she needed anything he was there. He was the same person who helped Y/n move out of her apartment and into a home in a nice small town. He made sure she was okay and safe at all times.

2nd month

‘I have to push through this’

Y/n despised the 2nd month of pregnancy, the feeling was all too well. Sleepless nights, she had wished she had Dean by her side or someone to comfort her on these nights and help her. But she knew she had to push through this, she was going to be alone with a child anyway.

3rd month

‘Where is he?’

Housework as a pregnant woman came with responsibilities like fixing up her sons room. She pushed through it knowing she had to do it alone. She missed having Dean but he didn’t want her. She missed his jokes and the way he would comfort her. Now he wasn’t there and she was stuck figuring out how fixing up a home worked.

4th month

‘Home stretch’

The 4th month passed, it was no surprise that Y/n had gotten along with her neighbors. She loved it, they would always help and invite her whenever. She felt at home, The house was silent but it was home. She believed it herself.

5th month

‘My son’

Y/n opened the gifts sent from friends, family, and given to her by her neighbors. Celebrating the baby shower rather later than usual. She thanked them, although she would get questions about the father, where he was, who he was. She didn’t answer them. She felt if he cared, he would’ve stayed.

6th month

‘Pains’

It was no surprise the mother would find herself up at night with pains. In fact they would become so unbearable she wouldn’t sleep at all. It’s nights she wished she had him with her. Nights she wished Dean was there to assure her that she’ll be okay.

7th month

‘Growth’

Y/n smiled as she had grown to move past Dean, She knew she would always love him. There was no doubt about it. Yet this is what was best for her and this is what she found out would be the better judgement for them both. If she had let go.

8th month

‘Almost okay’

The death of bobby, spotting Dean again with Sam. It became hard for her, she leaned her back against the cold surface of the wall. tears streaming down her face, throwing herself and the baby into stress. She needed a way to be okay. She knew she had to be for her son.

9th month

‘Labor’

Sweat plastered the young mother’s forehead, the baby asleep beside her in his own bed, wrapped in a beautiful blue blanket. Her eyes had felt heavy. She smiled as she looked beside her son. She named him. ‘S/n Winchester’.

-Few years later-

“So what’s the point of going to this house again?” Sam asked Dean. The two brothers had been on their way after they got some information about a home that seemed to hold some type of evil in it. “Well, you heard the old lady, She mentioned the home was owned by a mother and son? Maybe they would have some answers that could connect to this town?” Dean said. Sam only hummed in response. “Yeah but what if the mom and son were bad people?” Sam questioned. Dean rolled his eyes and turned up the radio. Ignoring Sam and his conspiracy theories.

The brothers had soon pulled up to the home, it was a big home, no wonder the mom and son had bought the place. Dean and Sam got out of the car before walking, approaching the boy playing in the yard. “Hey, is your parents around?” Sam asked. The boy looked between them before shaking his head. “My dad left my mom before I was born, I think my mom is inside the house right now” he said. Dean nodded his head. “Can you go get her for us?” Dean asked. The young boy nodded his head as he ran inside.

Sam chuckled before lightly slapping Dean on the shoulder. “Kid kind of looks like you,” he said. Dean shook his head. “Not at all” he denied it. Yet, He knew Sam had a point, the child did favor him in someway. Was it the nose?, The eyes?, maybe it was the lips?. He couldn’t really piece together why the boy looked like him but he decided not to think into it too much. Suddenly the door opened, Y/n froze in her spot. Her eyes widening. “Dean?” she spoke. “Y/n?”. The two stared at each other before Sam looked between them. “This is going to be...awkward”.

...

“Sorry for the wait, I had to make sure that the kitchen mess S/n made was clean” Y/n explained. She sat at the table, Dean had looked at her. “So...I’m guessing you’ve moved on?” he questioned. She rolled her eyes. “As if it’s a concern to you, you left me, can’t forget the skank at the bar” she said. Sam cleared his throat, looking over at the kid. “This is going to be very awkward” he said. S/n nodded his head. “Guys, We’re not here for this?” Sam said loudly. Yet Y/n and Dean were still bickering, ignoring Sam’s pleads. Sam sighed before looking over at the kid. “So how old are you?” he asked. S/n smiled. “I just turned 6 a few days ago” The little boy chimed. Sam chuckled and wished him a happy birthday.

The bickering between the two were strong and it hadn’t stopped, until the lights went out. Y/n groaned in annoyance. “Again? Bring me the flashlight from upstairs” Y/n told her Son. He nodded his head and rushed upstairs, Sam and Dean looking at the silhouette of Y/n. “Why are you two looking at me? We have bad electric here?” she commented. “No. Actually, We came cause a lot of people are disappearing from your town, some found alive and some not. Everyone that lives here keeps disappearing and being found somewhere else or not being found at all...So we think your house might have something in it” Dean explained. She keeps silent before nodding her head in agreement.

“Actually, S/n has mentioned seeing some type of Shadow at night? He said that he seen it when he was going to the bathroom. At first I thought he was crazy but he was right...there is something here...we don’t know what it is or what to do...” She frowned. Sam raised a brow before standing up. “I’ll get one of my flashlights and check outside, I’m sure there’s something outside in the back” he said. Dean and Y/n sat in silence before Dean spoke. “So the kid? He’s biologically yours?” he asked. Y/n nodded her head. “S/n was born and raised by me so far” she said wanting to avoid this topic.

“Where’s the dad?” he asked. Y/n bit her bottom lip. “In front of me...” she trailed off. Dean stopped for a moment before pointing at himself. “Are you...are you saying...you had OUR child?” he questioned still not processing it. She hummed. “When you left, I found out the next day, I didn’t tell you until my mother convinced me, the night I met you at the bar, I went there to tell you but you had some company, so I just left without telling you...I was selfish for it, I was wrong...and I’m sorry” she apologized. Dean frowned but knowing him, he wouldn’t show the look of shock, enjoyment, or sadness on his face.

“So you kept me in the dark? How old is he?” he asked. “6 years old” she said. Before he could say anything else, a scream from upstairs made both of the parents jump in action. They called out to him but no response, Y/n opened the door to find her son shaking in the corner of the room. The lights come back on. “S/n, Honey what happened?” she asked as she pulled him in her lap. Dean’s eyes soften before bending down. “It tried to take me” he cried. Y/n looked at Dean. “How about? you guys stay in a hotel? Let me and Sam handle this?” he asked. Y/n nodded her head.

1 week

The mom and son had went to get breakfast every morning with Sam and Dean at a small diner in town. The group would laugh and conversate often at the diner. It didn’t take them long before they all grew close.

2 weeks

Within week 2, Y/n explained and revealed to her son who his dad was, he was shocked but finally warmed up to the idea of it. Sam often found himself going places with his nephew.

3 weeks

Within 3 weeks, they had finally caught on to something in Y/n’s home, planning ahead of time how things are going to go.

. . .

Y/n stood in her house, it was around 9 PM when the brothers decided it was best to go ahead with their plan. Of course Y/n and Dean still bickered but had to work together for the sake of a safe home for S/n. “So what’s the plan?” Y/n asked Sam. He sighed. “Well, the shadow seems attached to something in this house, Whatever was in here belongs to the soul that’s attached, So we’re gonna burn anything that could belong to them without having to get rid of the home” he explained.

Dean had looked back at his son who was standing beside him, he wanted to help them and Dean said it was dangerous. Finally though he decided to let him help but he gave him strict rules. “Let get’s started” Dean said.

The four begin to walk around the home, searching around the area of what could belong to the soul attached to the family’s home. Everyone went their separate ways, S/n knew he wasn’t supposed to split from his father but he did exactly that. He walked over to the open attic, checking inside of it, moving his flashlight around. “So much junk” the kid mumbled. Sam walked the halls, checking every small detail. He felt like something was valued for the figure to stick around in the home.

He pointed his flashlight at the dark figure only for it to disappear. Moving the flashlight back down the figure showed. His eyes widen as a sudden strong gust of wind knocking him back, folding the ladder to the attic. S/n’s eyes widen as he ran over, the child slammed his fist against it, screaming for help. “Hold on!” Sam yelled. Before he could stand the glass vase flew at him, hitting him in the back, Sam groaned in pain as he attempted once again to get the child. Dean and Y/n ran towards the noise. “Where’s S/n?” the mother asked.

Sam pointed to the attic as she felt panic overtake her. “It won’t let me get him...It wants something to do with S/n” Sam explained. Dean furrowed his brows. “Get S/n, me and Sam can take it from here” he said with concern laced in his voice. S/n backed up from the attic as he noticed something coming closer, his foot hitting something, knocking it back. He begin to hiss in pain as he realized it was glass. S/n squeezed his eyes shut as his back hit the wall, shining the light. The sudden figure was gone, he knew if he had light, it couldn’t do anything.

Y/n quickly opened the attic entrance. “S/n” She called out. Her son coming into frame as he hid all the panic in his face. His leg bleeding as he started to climb down. The figure quickly pushed S/n off the ladder, sending him to hit the wall, blood trickling down his face. His body unconscious. Y/n called out moving towards her son, only for the figure to throw her back. Her head hitting the glass vase, her eyes were in and out of focus. Sam rushed and grabbed S/n, moving him outside in the car before coming back. “We have to set this place on fire...it’s the only way we can get rid of this” Sam stated. Dean nodded in agreement.

Y/n attempted to stand as she held her head. “Fine” She said. Y/n limped as she helped Sam pour gasoline inside the home. Sam started the fire before him and Dean walked out. Y/n behind them. As she went to walk out, the door slammed shut, causing the brothers to turn back and rush towards the door. It wouldn’t budge, Y/n was dragged back against the wall, she felt helpless, like she would die this way. And she never got a chance to make things right with Dean.

Tears filled her eyes as she sat in defeat. Dean cussed under his breath before removing his jacket. “Where are you going?” Sam asked. Dean looked back at his brother. “To get my woman” he said before going around the home. He breaks the window, wincing lightly before he climbed through. He rushed as he peeked through the flames, finding Y/n. He rushed over, she was in and out. “Y/n, don’t close your eyes yet okay? We’re gonna get you out of this” he said as he held her against him. “Dean, What are you doing? Aren’t you going to leave me to die? like you walked out of my life....you shouldn’t care” she coughed. Dean shook his head. “I did it to protect you, I didn’t wanna harm you with this lifestyle, I knew it would get worse but I realized, I do love you, Y/n I’ve been in love with you. I’ve never stopped, and I’m not stopping now” he said as tears fell down his face.

He coughed as he picked up Y/n, rushing to the door and kicking it open. The two rushed away from the home before anything could explode. Y/n watched her home burn to the ground before her vision became black and foggy.

Y/n’s vision came into place, the machine beeping as she looked around, S/n was sleeping peacefully in his bed. His breathing seeming fine, a cast on his leg. She raised up only to be met with a worried Sam and Dean. “Y/n, are you okay?” Sam asked. Dean rolled his eyes. “If she was do you think we’d be here?” he said. Sam ignored his brother. “Is it over?” She asked. Dean nodded his head along with Sam. “It is, Sam’s been worrying over you both, it was a little annoying” Dean said causing her to let out a small laugh. “You were just crying about them” Sam exposed Dean. The two didn’t bicker any further, not wanting to disturb S/n’s rest.

“I’ll leave you guys to talk, I’m gonna see if a doctor is available” Sam said as he got up from his spot. Walking out the door, closing it behind him. Dean placed his hand on her forehead. “You kicked ass” he chuckled. “You did too” She said. The two sat in silence a bit before Dean spoke. “So what are you going to do now?” he asked. She frowned at his question. Their home is gone, what can she do now?.

“I’m not even sure. I don’t know what I’m gonna do” she said. Dean had cleared his throat. “I was hoping...you would accept joining me and Sam? I don’t wanna miss out on S/n’s life or yours, I actually, I wanna be with you and I’m hoping you’ll want the same” he said. Dean hadn’t ever been big on expressing his feelings or the truth. Yet Y/n loved that about him, when he would speak with her about his feelings.

She smiled softly. “Anything for you Dean Winchester” she smiled. Dean smiled before pulling her in a kiss, S/n waking up from his rest. “Nice to see someone else awake, your mother and I have some news” Dean said as he walked over, ruffling S/n hair.

-3 months later-

Dean sat in the drivers seat, waiting for Y/n to return, S/n and Sam had been chatting in the backseat. He tapped his hand on the wheel, playing with his ring a bit. Y/n soon walked out before she got in the car. “I got snacks cause why not” She chuckled as she handed the bag to Sam. “What was taking you so long?” Dean asked. Y/n smiled as she placed a kiss on his cheek. “No need to pressure me Mr. Winchester. You Winchester’s are impatient” she said playfully.

Dean started the car as he looked over at Y/n. “You married me so that means you are too” He chuckled. She playfully slapped his hand as he started driving. The four of them chatting in the car.

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yournameyn · 3 years

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Feeling Deeply Chapter 5

Genre: Arranged Marriage Fic. Fluff turning into angst?

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

Summary: The story of two deeply feeling nerds who find themselves in an arranged marriage. (Details here). Our OC is called Brishti. It’s a Bengali name meaning rain. Namjoon calls her Rim (short for her pet name, RimJhim which means the pitter-patter of rain). She calls him Joon.

Warnings: NOT THE NAMJOON OF OUR DREAMS. Argument. Fight over tiny discrepancies that turn out to be a huge problem. Domestic violence. Not a happy chapter.

A/N: Have you ever felt this, reader? When you watch something and realise exactly what you need to realise in that moment? I’ve had that so many times - seeing my feelings mirrored in a show. That’s something that I’ve tried to have Brishti feel here. Also, this is how I see the natural progression of this Namjoon, the one who obliged to duty rather than his dreams. It took me a long time to write this but I love what’s come out. Let me know what you think!

Current Chapter: London, late 1963. Love fully blooms between Namjoon and Brishti. And yet, something’s not right. A visit to the ballet and a conversation brings forth realisations. The inklings that Brishti was trying to avoid transform into writing on the wall.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5

The magic about new love isn’t really in romance or even in true intimacy. It’s in how violent new love is… and just how much time it takes us to feel it’s impact.

In the new love between Namjoon and Brishti, everything had been roses and honey, overflowing, swaying in a gentle breeze. They spent every second possible in each other’s arms. They had to tear themselves away from each other when they had to leave home. And even then, it hurt as though they were part of the same cloth.

Brishti had thought about how they had become woven, their souls an ornate tapestry. Namjoon had told her then about a Japanese tradition of weaving that was a sort of meditation and a kind of worship to a god called ‘Musubi’. The disciples say it is like being part of the cosmic tapestry. Being tied to each other.

“Just like we are… I felt a pull toward you and I followed it. I was scared… so full of doubts about who you were and how this was all going to go… I had promised myself that I would fulfil my duty… whatever happened ” Namjoon had said, petting Brishti’s hand gently, “And I… I still can’t believe it… It… you make me feel like I can… trust myself.” Brishti had looked at her genius then and wondered what a strange world it must be that made a man like Namjoon doubt himself, “Always, always trust yourself, Namjoon-ah.” and settled into the crook of his neck.

It was indeed a strange world that caused Namjoon to build an armour around himself. Because ‘London’ and ‘Lonely’ sounded just the same to him. His years alone in this strange place had been unkind, unrelenting. Brishti had been the only softness he had felt in a long long time. Armours built over years can break in an instant, though. For him, it was the moment when he and his wife had crossed the threshold to becoming lovers. High on the magic of new love, he had not realised it.

Sitting across from each other after that fateful evening, Namjoon and Brishti were both wide awake in the early hours of the next morning. Brishti buttoned up the shirt they never fully took off. Namjoon had tickled her with his toes. They propped their feet against the other’s to see just how vast the difference was (he melted seeing how small her feet were and hadn’t stopped playing with them since). Caressing each toe, he remembered something he wanted to ask -

“How did you know what Saranghae is?”

“Mm…” she stretched her arms, “I know what it means…” Brishti said.

“I know you know… from the way you… after I said it… You asked Yoongi about it?” Namjoon cautiously asked about the only other Korean Brishti knew. To his surprise, she nodded no, still denying him any information. Namjoon had to tickle her foot for the answer.

“Okay! Okay! Wait! Pleeeease!” Namjoon stopped and Brishti bent down to the bureau next to her bed and pulled out a textbook - LEARN HANGUL THROUGH ENGLISH. Namjoon looked more shocked than she had expected. “I asked Yoongi about the book-”

“You don’t need to Rim… I’m not learning Bangla, am I?” Namjoon said. He was touched but he didn’t want his love to do anything he couldn’t reciprocate.

“I would have asked you to learn it… if I wrote poetry in my mothertongue...” Brishti said. Namjoon was shocked. She went on, “You really think I didn’t know?”

Namjoon blushed and smiled and flopped over in Brishti’s lap. She brushed his hair as she explained, “You light up at the mention of lyrics and poetry, you keep a notebook by your side at all times, you’re moved by the things that people usually don’t pay attention to… I know you’re a poet, Joonie.”

Namjoon looked up at her and said, “No one has ever called me that…”

Brishti leaned down and kissed her gorgeous husband. “You are... From what I know, I bet all my books that you are a great one... And… I… I would love nothing more than to be part of your world of words, Joonie… It must be strange… to be understood but in a foreign language. If you would let me, I want to understand you in your language… Do you think that’s something maybe--”

He got up and all but jumped on Brishti, pinning her down to the bed with the cutest puppy-yell she had ever heard. “Yes! Of course, yes!”

They both understood that this was a proposal. The truest kind - a gentle request to explore Namjoon’s universe. They would later joke about how she proposed to him after a month of being married. Namjoon was completely delighted by this person with him, his person… one who really saw him.

He pulled her to him saying, “You’re the best part of my world, Rim...” and kissed her.

Each moment of love flowed through the next. When they had to be separated, they couldn’t wait for the next one, their moment again. On weekends they would visit museums and find their favourite paintings and sculpture or their favourite prehistoric relic and animal. Brishti hated the fact that Namjoon had to work overtime to compensate for these weekends and she often voiced how unfair it was.

In response Namjoon would just give her a peck and say, “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” This pricked her but she was too taken by the man before her to pay heed to it.

Namjoon was just about able to keep a straight face at work but everyone around Brishti was acutely aware of how much she loved Namjoon.

At one point, her colleague and best friend, Min Yoongi had yelled at her, “Yhaaaaa! Stop blushing?! It’s just a clock… what could be romantic about a clock?!” Sayuri-san, and she were hanging around Yoongi’s table when Brishti looked at his new flip clock and started blushing.

Brishti laughed along with everyone else but explained, “It’s involuntary… that’s what happens when you’re married to a poet.”

Sayuri-san corrected, “I know too many wives of poets to know that’s not necessarily true… It is true though, when you’re in love with a poet… Go on… tell us how exactly poet Namjoon makes you blush about a clock...”

Brishti blushed even more at that. Yoongi rubbed his arms and demanded, “Tell us because there’s some really weird things coming to my mind… like you guys have an exact time when...”

Brishti stopped his imagination, “No no no… it’s nothing like that… he loves digital clocks... because he loves to watch the time turn to 00:00… zero o’clock he calls it… and on days he feels sad, it’s like zero o’clock is always there to comfort him… like it’s a point when the whole world holds its breath and he can feel happy again… but these days… with me… he said he wants the clock to keep going after 23:59… he wishes time would stretch on… beyond 24:01…”

Yoongi sighed and sat back down, “You’re making me fall in love with Namjoon… ahhh that is beautiful. He should be published...”

“Imagine him saying this directly to you and you might know how I feel… I can’t stop talking about him...”

“Oh, we know. But honestly none of us care… your poet-librarian romance is getting us through our single-ness.” Yoongi reassured her.

The three of them continued to talk about the ways in which Brishti could repay Namjoon’s wordsmithing in graphic ways.

It was that evening, wasn’t it, when Namjoon had enveloped her back in the warmest hug as soon as he’d entered their flat. Brishti was in the kitchen when she heard him enter but hadn’t expected this. He kissed her neck while telling her the good news, “We got our first Korean client today… because of me… Mmmm… Why do you always smell so amazing?”

Brishti turned around and hugged him again, “That’s amazing! Namjoon-ssi! I’m so proud of you!”

“He’s from a wealthy family… so he can actually afford our firm… its not exactly the work I wanted to do--”

“It is a step toward that idea, right? It’s still good work, fighting for justice?” Brishti asked, stopping him from undermining his own work.

Namjoon nodded, “Yeah… He’s a dancer… Park Jimin. All the posh types know him as one of the best dancers in the Royal Ballet. They call him Jim… as if it’s too difficult to say Jimin?” Namjoon shook his head in disapproval. He began helping Brishti with the chopping and continued, “He was born in the UK and trained since he was 5... He got into the Royal Ballet but he’s been passed up to be a principal over and over even though everyone who has seen him dance apparently knows that he’s far far better… So recently he spoke to the director there... and of course the director made a racist slur and asked not to bother him with this again. He can’t even quit and work at another company because of the contract they have him on. There’s a non compete clause… meaning he won’t be able to dance with any other company. That’s all he wants… to be able to get out of that contract… I’m hoping to convince him to press charges on racial discrimination too. We’re not in the 20s anymore.”

When Brishti didn’t respond, Namjoon looked up at her. “That’s horrible… I’m so so glad you’re taking up the case. But please tell me what you ate when you were alone?” He looked down at the carrot he’d been failing to cut.

Namjoon scrunched his nose and admitted, “Canned food mostly.”

Brishti said, “I’m really really glad you’re getting to do work that you are passionate about, Joonie, you deserve it. Now, you should know how to cut a carrot.”

Namjoon pressed up against Brishti’s back. She reached back up to the nape of his neck and made him moan into her. Then… then Namjoon made her forget how to cut carrots.

He had these ways… Namjoon, with his touch, his voice, his languages both spoken and soundless. He was lighting new paths into her self. She loved learning him. Paths she didn’t know existed, that she’d been longing for.

The scars of the loneliness, emptiness that Namjoon had experienced had turned his longings into a kind of starvation. He needed to be nourished and also devoured. Brishti was just the creature to do it. He could feel her warm fingers trace rows of pleasure onto his skin. He felt them bear down and singe when the two of them had to move away from each other. He felt those ropes tug at him as the end of his workday neared. Namjoon closed his eyes each night at her touch, the feeling and fragrance of her body. He felt blooms of intimacy spring up like seedlings out of the soil of his skin. And deeper. In the earth of his soul. So he did the only thing he could. Reciprocate. Namjoon sowed his love, his desire, his need onto her, into her every night.

There were times, though, when she would feel his absence in the middle of the night and see him working in the dim light of a lamp. She knew he had to work hard to do what he wanted but she also saw he had to continually prove himself to people who weren’t even paying attention. The reason they weren’t paying attention was painfully clear to Brishti but she was yet to experience it’s full stab.

Namjoon wanted to shield her from it. He was counting on an armour that didn’t exist anymore to protect himself and his wife… the reason he liked his life again. Whenever she came out and switched on a brighter light, reprimanding him for straining his gorgeous eyes, he saw that it did prick her - this world and the unfairness he had to endure. She would say something small, an almost-complaint that alerted him… against her for some strange reason. She would say something that would be easy to ignore and yet would prick him, like - “I don’t know why they haven’t promoted you yet.” or “Why haven’t they taken up Jimin’s case yet? You’ve worked so hard on it.” Everytime she did that, he would have to pacify himself.

‘I’ve told her so much about the Jimin case… she’s just really invested’ Namjoon thought to himself. Just so he would avoid thinking, ‘I shouldn’t have told her.’

He would have to calm himself, give her a peck and try to convince her to stop worrying. “As long as I have you, I’m happy.” Namjoon would always say.

Then, Brishti smiled as she always did. While trying to understand why that sentence bothered her so much. After almost five months of exploring this wonderful man, some part of him still felt unfamiliar… like it didn’t fit in with the rest. Still, these things take time, she had heard from so many women over the years. Besides, she was blessed with a man far far above the norms. So, how could she prod? These are things Brishti had told herself - until the night she couldn’t stay silent.

The couple was coming up on their fifth month together and Park Jimin had gifted Namjoon a ticket to the final show of the season as a token of gratitude, for having heard his story.

Brishti was nervous about going to this kind of a gathering and had told her husband to meet her there.

She had enlisted the help of Sayuri-san to look appropriate for the event. Her slightly longer hair was clipped and her eyes were kohled. She wore a burgundy knee length fringe-ended dress that she had received from her gracious host, stylist and make-up artist - an inheritance of her brilliant life tucked into the black pearl beading and deco design. It was a big departure from the usual tie-die or band tees and jeans with her baggy coat. She had carried the coat but felt this strange sort of compulsion to stand in the cold air in the noodle strap dress, for him to see her.

She felt butterflies in her stomach and kept fiddling with the coat she had draped over her arm. It was electric when she saw him.

Namjoon looked gorgeous in a tux. All of Brishti’s nerves were soothed just by looking at him. He had brushed his hair back. Tall and dashing - better than any heathcliffe could ever be. And with his reading glasses, he looked like the lead of a romance novella that would make all the women swoon. Indeed she was swooning. Brishti was suddenly warm in the chilly, windy night. And when Namjoon saw her, blood rushed to her cheeks. Everything inside her was running helter skelter in a panic. Brishti felt everything drop in the few moments it took for Namjoon to reach the top of the stairs. Dolled up like this, outside of her element, she felt like an imposter. Some angel needed to be standing in her place. For the first time, feigning beauty, Brishti felt like she wasn’t worthy of her husband.

She was finally able to keep her feelings aside when he reached her.

Namjoon kissed her palm like a gentleman and whispered in her ear, “Let’s go home… I need a private kind of dance…” Brishti blushed. Namjoon put his arm around her and felt the chill that had settled on her skin. “Aren’t you cold? Why didn’t you wear the coat?” Namjoon asked. Brishti just shook her head no and the two of them walked in.

Brishti assumed that the ballet would be a welcome distraction from the storm that brewed within her. She had read up about the show, the piece they were going to perform -

Tchaikovsky’s venerated Swan Lake. The story of a young girl who falls in love with a prince who promises to save her but fails. Ofcourse there were finer nuances to the story but this was the basic plot. As the lights dimmed, Brishti felt pulled in by the music, the eerie beauty of it’s melody played in perfectly with the questions that were swirling around in Brishti’s mind -

Why do I feel wrong?

Is this what Yoongi was talking about? Anxiety…?

Why does Namjoon look so... different?

Why is he so quiet, so… distant…It’s like he’s keeping himself away from me despite being right next to me, arm in arm, like the true Namjoon is somewhere in a glass case? Deep deep beneath whatever this creature is who is next to me?

I’m thinking too much. No. What is this? Why am I feeling this way?

It’s the music… no its not just the music… something is fucking wrong because all I feel like doing is breaking that glass case that’s locked away My Namjoon and presented this fucking imposter. What the hell is going on?!

Brishti barely managed to keep it together. She kept her eyes on stage…

It was like seeing a moving painting being created by invisible hands and the music was the sound of the brushstrokes, amplified. Park Jimin was playing Rothbart, the owl-like magician who curses Odette into a swan until she finds someone who would promise to love her forever. The questions in her mind and the power of the spectacle before her forced her tears to keep flowing.

Namjoon saw Brishti cry and held on to her. But the more he tried to comfort her, the more uneasy she became, the more she coudln’t contain the tears in her eyes.

The curtain fell at the end of Act three when the prince realises he has been tricked. Brishti, somehow, mirrored his grief. The prince was cheated by Rothbart into believing that his daughter, Odile, was Odette. Rothbart relished his plan so despicably it made Brishti’s stomach turn. The prince had already declared to the ballroom full of people his vow to love and marry the maiden by his side - Odile, not Odette. Park Jimin played Rothbart so skillfully, so beautifully that despite being the villain, despite being covered from head to toe, he was the star. Rothbart giggled delightfully as he revealed to the prince that the girl in his arms wasn’t Odette at all. That Odette was waiting for her prince by the lake. The curtain fell as the prince felt the stab of betrayal and rushed to Odette.

Brishti rushed to where she did not know. She wanted to get away from Namjoon, from this feeling that she couldn’t understand, couldn’t explain. She was angry. She wanted to break something. Tears still flowing down her face, she found a corner that was hidden away in darkness. She went in. Brishti sat on the couch there, for what seemed like eternity, breathing heavily. Nothing made sense. It felt like her insides were twisting into each other. Suddenly, though, a door creaked open and out came an angel. A man, glowing, having just freshened up. He saw her, saw her fear and instead of pulling back in shock, approached with a strange kindness. He held her wrist and stayed silent for a moment.

His beauty was also a kindness to her. In that moment, Brishti could breathe a little bit better. He sat down by her knees, on the floor and when he spoke, his voice flowed like a tonic, “First time at the ballet? It’s overwhelming… I know. You’re okay. You are safe. Rothbart is not here. Talk to me… what are you feeling?”

The tears kept flowing. This man was different, she knew he understood what she was feeling like. She felt safe, but not as if she was with a saviour, rather as though she was with another victim.

“What are you feeling…” Park Jimin repeated. The pieces were falling into place in her head. This is Park Jimin, the man who danced as Rothbart. The man who should have danced the Prince. Who should have played Odette and Odile.

“I feel… rage.” Brishti trembled as she spoke. She could breathe again.

“Yes… Rothbart is… evil… I’m sorry-”

Brishti nodded her head no. “At the prince.”

Jimin was surprised. “Let it out. You can scream in here and no one would know.”

Brishti didn’t need another invitation, but her rage wasn’t a scream, it was a whisper - “I want to hit the prince. How could he not now? He couldn’t see that that girl was not Odette? Is he blind? The way she moved, the way she danced… which only means… it means that the prince knew… somewhere he felt doubt but he… He couldn’t fucking trust himself enough?! I don’t know why this is breaking my heart… Why can’t people trust in themselves?! It’s a pathetic fucking excuse and I can’t buy it… I just can’t. Why did the prince...” Her hands covered her face as she wiped her tears. She composed herself.

Jimin pulled out a kerchief. “May I?” Brishti nodded and he dabbed her face with care.

“The prince trusted his sight more than his soul. And now, Odette will die because of it. As always, the woman pays the price.”

“He dies too, you know.”

“What a waste…”

Jimin smiled, “Thank you… for watching the show, for feeling it so much.”

Brishti managed a weak smile, “Thank you.” Jimin stepped away and sat next to her, at a respectable distance. “I’m being lied to.”

Jimin nodded, “I know what that’s like. I feel that rage against the prince too. And still, we must be kind to our liars.”

Brishti clenched her teeth, “Why? Where’s the fairness in that?”

Jimin moves away, in a dejected kind of daze and pours himself a drink, “That’s the biggest lie, fairness. Cruel joke.”

Brishti walked toward the door. “I should go… Thank you.”

Jimin raised his glass to her.

Brishti wore her coat and walked toward the exit. She found Namjoon in a panic and suddenly felt like she could reach him. He looked so relieved to see her. She couldn’t help but feel awash with love as he crashed into her in the warmest hug. It was as if he was the one who was lost.

“Are you okay? Why were you crying?” Namjoon asked her as he stroked her head and held her in the hug for as long as she needed.

“I need to ask you something.” Brishti whispered as she pulled away. They began walking down the stairs of the theatre.

“Änything.” Namjoon replied.

“Your firm… they refused the Jimin case, right?”

Namjoon froze. His jaw locked up. “Let’s go home.”

The rest of the way, neither of them spoke a word. They entered their home in a cold silence. They washed the night off themselves and entered their bedroom, which was completely devoid of the heat and desire that usually filled it right up to the ceiling. What used to feel like an ocean, now felt like a vacuum.

When Namjoon walked in, Brishti reminded him, as kindly as she could,“I said I need to ask you something. You said, ‘anything’.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to talk about it.” Namjoon was cold again. Unfeeling. Unreachable.

Brishti tried her best to be calm… “When would you want to talk about it?”

Namjoon breathed in - “Why? Am I answerable to you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we disagree. I don’t think I am answerable to you. What would you have done if I wouldn’t have told you about it in the first place?”

“I would still be feeling what I’m feeling… I would be even more furious though.”

“Fu- why would you be furious? I have to work there, I lost the account. I’m feeling hurt and disappointed in myself and instead of helping me, you’re angry?! What the hell could you be angry at?!”

“I’m being lied to. I’m being tricked.”

“What?!” the contempt on Namjoon’s face made her head throb. He was angry now.

“There are two Namjoons here. I’m being told there’s only one and--”

“That is some philosophical trash that you learned from one of your books. Real life doesn’t work that way. But how would you know?! You don’t have a real job. You have a hobby. A hobby of stacking books in order. You’re just plain lucky that someone is paying you for your hobby. That’s not a job. You of all people cannot tell me about the things I have to do to keep my job. I have tried my best to be as honest as I can be--”

“As honest as you can --”

“Listen to me!” Namjoon thundered. His loud voice might as well have been a punch. It rang through her body and rattled her bones. She had tears in her eyes but clenched them down as Namjoon continued yelling, “Enough… enough with the fucking tears. What the fuck are you so sad about?! I don’t need you to pity me. I don’t need anyone to feel sad for me. I have tried to be a good man - do you even know how much other men don’t even mention to their wives?! I told you everything. EVERYTHING. And now I’m being punished for it. Time and time again I tried to console you… even though I was the one hurting… I tried to be there for you and tell you… as long as I have --”

Brishti couldn’t take it anymore “Don’t. Say that.” She didn’t yell. Her voice was just above a whisper and yet it sent a chill down Namjoon’s spine. She wiped her tears. “I didn’t ask to be consoled. I was just… curious. If a few questions from me hurt so much maybe you should ask yourself why. I’m not lucky that someone decided to pay me for my hobby. It’s nice to know what you really think of my job. But whatever you think, I created my job. I created my life. I fought to come to london. I fought for the right to earn--”

“Oh please... spare me the feminist lecture...” scoffed Namjoon.

“Sure. Take up Jimin’s case.”

Namjoon felt the burn of white hot rage. He wanted to strangle her. He was so used to touching her… and she was his… in this bedroom, he had made her his. He wasn’t thinking. Namjoon strode toward her and held one massive palm over her mouth and the other on her neck and pinned her to the wall. “YOU WOULDN’T HAVE KNOWN ABOUT THAT IF I DIDN’T TELL YOU.”

It took him a few moments to realise what he was doing. Brishti was shocked and tried to scream but no voice came out. She was trying to get him out of his daze when he finally saw her, saw his Rim, horrified… by him. Namjoon pulled his hands back instantly. He saw a red bruise bloom where his hands were - on her face and on her neck.

“This is how you make your conscience shut up?” Brishti’s voice was hoarse. “You think this has nothing to do with your conscience? With the best part of you? The part that you made me fall in love with? Are you really telling me you don’t know that this is why you can’t write the way you used to… You’re killing my Joon and asking me to stay silent. I can’t.”

The searing anger still hadn’t died and it burst out of him, “Why are we fighting like this… over Jimin… why don’t you take up his case if you fucking love him so much?”

“What do you think I’m doing right now?”

“You… Why are you fighting for him against me?!” It was here that Namjoon realised his armour was gone. The idea of who he is... suddenly vanished. And the one thing that had made him feel safe, like his true self, was slipping away. “You’re saying… just tell me… you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

Brishti did him the only kindness she had left in her, she explained, “Jimin wants to leave but can’t. He stays because he needs to dance. He stays because he cannot get out of his contract. You say you want to help people like Jimin, you roll your eyes at white people who can’t pronounce our names, you feel guilty for asians who have much less than we do… but then you also don’t raise an issue when your boss holds meetings in clubs where people of other races and dogs and women are not allowed. You work overtime for the privilege of weekends… You say you are trying but… as far as I know… you don’t have a non-compete clause in your contract, Namjoon.”

That hit him like an iceberg. Namjoon’s legs gave way and he just sat on the bed.

He watched as Brishti put on her coat and left, covering her bruises with a scarf.

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Chapter 6 - to be posted.

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