#maybe i am just not meant to be someones forever person

[notmuyo]

The thing about me is, that eventually, every person i once met and got close with, will forget me.

[forestgreenlesbian]

.

[starkwlkr]

fever dream | sebastian vettel

part 2 part 3

warnings: toxic soon to be ex husband who cheats on reader (if i miss anything, let me know!!)

update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading!! you can read it here!

AN: THIS SAYS THAT SEB AND THE READER WERE TEAM MATES FOR 2014 AND 2015 THATS A MISTAKE SORRY I ONLY MEANT TO PUT 2014 😭

INSTAGRAM (private account)

liked by lewishamilton, yoursistersaccount and 24 others

yourusername a short trip back home 🤍

lewishamilton enjoy it!

yourusername thanks lew! miss you and roscoe 🤍

lewishamilton roscoe and i miss you more

yoursistersaccount it’s great to have you home

yourusername 🤍 love you

view all 13 comments

“luke, alison! your aunt y/n is here!” your sister yelled as she opened the door to her home. in a matter of seconds, loud footsteps were heard running down the stairs. “no running!”

but still the kids didn’t listen, they were excited to see their aunt. “hey, my babies! oh my god, you two have grown so much. stop growing!” you hugged your niece and nephew.

“i’m almost as tall as mom!” alison, the younger sister, said.

“liar, that’s just what dad says to make you feel better. i’m going to grow more than you and then i’ll be taller than you.” luke teased.

“you both can be tall, but never as tall as me.” you joked as you placed a kiss on their cheeks.

“are you going to stay with us forever?” alison asked innocently. “dad said that you don’t want to stay with your husband anymore and you’re going to stay with us.”

“alison!”

the truth was hard for little kids to understand. yes, you were going to stay with your sister for a few days and yes, you didn’t want to stay with your husband anymore, but it was a bit more complicated than that. your husband had cheated, lied, manipulated you and you had enough. he was the reason you couldn’t come back to the sport you loved and worked your whole life for.

“well i am going to be staying here, but not forever. i just needed a break from him, it’s normal.” you tried to explain to the girl.

“but my mom and dad don’t take breaks?”

“alison, just go to your room, you too luke, please. dinner is going to be ready in an hour.” your sister said, feeling embarrassed that alison would ask those questions.

“what did i do?” the older boy whines as he and his sister walked up to their rooms.

“i’m sorry. i spoke to jack the night you called. we were cleaning up the table after dinner, i assume she heard.” your sister explained.

“it’s okay, they’ll understand when they’re older. not everyone is cut out to be loved . . .”

or a mother.

only a few people had known about your issues with infertility, your sister and lewis being two of them. after you retired from f1, you were sure that in a couple months, you were going to be busy with doctor’s appointments, buying baby clothes and building a crib, but none of that happened. after a year of trying, you were convinced you weren’t meant to be a mom.

you thought about returning to the track, after all many drivers returned after saying they were retiring, why couldn’t you? but that plan was spoiled by the man you thought loved you.

“you can’t go back, you don’t belong there. it’s a man’s sport. you’re probably going to crash in the first lap anyways.”

you didn’t know why you stayed with him, but you did. maybe it was the promises he kept telling you about or the hopefulness that one day you would become parents and maybe he would change. but again, none of that happened.

“um, i have to call someone. i’ll be right back. excuse me.” you told your sister as you walked to the patio door and exited the house. without hesitating, you clicked on a familiar contact. you held your phone against your ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. it felt like forever, but eventually they picked up the call.

“hello?”

[worldlxvlys]

I HAVE A IDEA (MR CRABS I HAVE AN IDEA)

yk the new song ari came out with (we can't be friends) Chris fic were the reader and him are best friends that always flirt and they made out drunk at a party and have not been talking for a week untill Chris shows up at her house and they makeout and maybe some smut? Idrk

Anyways that's all 💋

we can’t be friends

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of drinking/being drunk, smut, fingering, oral (fem receiving), squirting, cursing

a/n: i’ve been absolutely OBSESSED with this song and itching to write about ittt

i hope you enjoy

i let out a heavy sigh at his last text, before throwing my phone onto my bed.

of course i wanted to fight for us, but this was about more than just our friendship . this was about what was best for us individually.

for as long as i could remember, i always put chris’ feelings before my own. i spent so long chasing after him, just to end up heartbroken.

i watched him constantly pick other people over me, blissfully unaware of how deeply he was wounding me.

but no matter how much i wanted to, i couldn’t blame him. it was easier to point fingers at him than to accept the fact that this was partially my own fault.

i let him continue to hurt me, over and over again, never telling him what he was doing to me. and if i didn’t tell him, how would he know any better ?

so, even though it killed me to act so cold and distant toward him, it was time to look out for myself for once.

i needed to take the time to love and take care of myself before expecting someone else to do so.

sure, he’d be upset for a short while, but once he got over me he would easily move on to the next girl. that’s all i was to him, after all. just another girl.

i was pulled from my thoughts when i heard my front door open and close suddenly, followed by quick footsteps toward my room.

i waited behind my bedroom door, quick to swing my arm out in front of me when the person made it to the doorway.

i was met with chris, who immediately caught my wrist in his hand.

we stared at each other with wide eyes, neither one of us speaking. i blinked up at him, watching his eyes trail down to my lips.

“don’t do that” the words flew out of my mouth before i could stop them.

his eyes immediately shot back up to mine, a curious expression taking over his features.

“don’t do what?” he asked, loosening his grip on my wrist to let it slide down, intertwining our fingers.

“chris, we aren’t doing this. i meant what i said earlier, we’re better off not being friends”

“you keep saying that, but you won’t tell me why. you gotta talk to me baby” he spoke.

“i don’t want to” i spoke back, shaking my head as i backed up slightly to create more distance between us.

“how am i supposed to know what i did wrong if you don’t talk to me?”

he was right, of course he was. it was unfair of me to just cut him off with no reasoning. but the second we start talking about it is the second it becomes real. i didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that i was trying to end one of the most important friendships i’d ever had in my life.

“you didn’t do anything, chris” i answered. he wasn’t having it. “no, tell me. i’m not letting you just end our friendship like this, not without a reason”

“i just can’t be friends with you”

“why? what is so wrong with me that you don’t want me in your life? and completely out of nowhere” he spoke, his voice rising slightly.

“see, that’s the problem. i don’t want you out of my life, i want you in it forever. but you clearly don’t want that, and it’s ok.”

“who the hell said i didn’t want that?” chris asked, his brows furrowing.

“chris, it’s fine. you don’t have to try to make me feel better-”

“so you don’t believe me?” he cut me off.

“i mean, i don’t know, i just…” my babbling trailed off as i tried to find the right words.

“let me prove it to you” he whispered as he toyed with the strap of my tank top.

my breathing grew shallow as he moved the fabric down my arm slightly, pressing his lips to my shoulder.

“chris….we shouldn’t” i whispered, but tilted my head to the side, allowing him more access as his lips moved up my neck.

“really? you weren’t complaining a week ago” he spoke against my skin.

i slapped his chest lightly at that. “yeah, well we were also drunk”

he bit down on my neck, harshly enough to leave a bruise and elicit a moan from me. “so, you don’t want this?” he asked.

i let out a deep sigh, “of course i do, chris. but do you?”

he looked as though he was going to say something, but i stopped him “don’t tell me yes just because you want sex. i don’t want you to just want somebody, i want you to want me. if you’re just gonna fuck me and move onto the next girl, then forget it” i spoke.

the more i thought about it, the more i convinced myself that he didn’t really want me.

“hey” he spoke softly, cupping my jaw. “this isn’t about the sex, this isn’t even about me wanting you. this is about me needing you. this is about me not being able to live without you. yes, i’ve been with other girls. but there’s a reason that you’re the only one that’s always been there”

“i was so sure you didn’t feel the same, so i tried to move on. but i couldn’t, because none of those girls are you. and i’m so sorry that i hurt you, i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if i have to”

chris looked at me as though he could cry. his blue eyes shot back and forth between my own, his thumb caressing my jaw gently.

“so make it up to me” i whispered, pulling his lips to my own.

one of his arms smoothly slid behind my back, supporting my weight as i found it hard to keep my balance.

he kissed me like he had waited his whole life for this moment. his lips felt so soft against mine, unlike our last kiss.

this kiss made our drunken one feel sloppy and desperate, like two people who were just horny, but this was more than that. it was eye-opening, sweet, gentle, it was everything i didn’t know i needed.

but chris did, he always knew what to say or do to make me happy. i couldn’t stay mad at him even if i wanted to.

“let me make you feel good?” he asked when we pulled away. “yeah” i let out breathlessly, nodding my head.

“lay down for me” he said, leaving another kiss to my neck. i did as he said, getting onto my bed and laying on my back.

he wasted no time in crawling over me, his hands placed on either side of my waist. “can i?” he asked, lightly tugging at the hem of my top.

i nodded at him, lifting my upper body up as he pulled off my top. without a word, he attached his lips to my nipple while caressing the other with his hand.

i let out a loud moan at the feeling, beginning to squirm underneath him.

“shit, chris” i sighed out, his eyes immediately looking up at mine.

he swirled his tongue around the hardened bud, watching as my body melted into his touch.

he sucked on my tit until the skin turned dark, moving to the other to give it the same treatment.

“god, chris. feels so good” i moaned out while he continued to work my sensitive nipple with his tongue.

“you look so pretty like this” he rasped as he soothed my boobs with his hands, “can’t believe i have you all to myself” he mumbled to himself.

he moved his face downwards, leaving gentle kisses to my rib cage and abdomen. he paid special attention to every birthmark and scar he found, pressing a kiss to each one.

his fingers rubbed small circles into my skin as he ventured further and further down my body.

he stopped at the waistband of my shorts, leaving a kiss to my crotch area. due to the thin material or the shorts and my lack of underwear, my hips shot up involuntarily at the feeling.

“no underwear? such a dirty fucking girl” he spoke, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

he licked a long stripe up my pussy through the shorts, eliciting a long whine from me. “chris, stop teasing me” i spoke as i squirmed under him.

“you just make it so easy, baby” he spoke, before continuing to leave kisses down my thighs and calves.

“lift up” he spoke as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts. i raised my hips, allowing chris to pull them off.

i let out a sigh at the feeling of my heat being exposed to the cold air of the room.

chris stared down at my glistening pussy, mouth hung open slightly as he pulled my folds apart, spreading me open.

“my god, you’re so gorgeous” he spoke, blowing cool air onto my heat.

“hold your legs apart for me, beautiful” he spoke, his lips inches away from my core.

“so wet” he mumbled before running his tongue along my thighs, just missing where i needed him.

“chris, please. i need your mouth so fucking bad” i whined. “where, baby?” he asked, teasing me some more.

finally having enough, i wrapped my legs around his head, pulling his face into my heat.

he let out a long moan into me, his eyes rolling back as he licked up every drop of my slick.

my head fell back at the feeling, legs loosening around him to let him pull back if needed, however he stayed right where he was.

the words that fell out of my mouth sounded like gibberish, but i didn’t care about that. all i could focus on was chris.

the way he groaned into me, his needy tongue lapping me up like i was his last meal. his piercing eyes never left mine, only making the tight feeling in my stomach grow.

my arousal covered his flushed cheeks, making me even wetter.

there was something that i found so incredibly hot about how messily he was eating me out. it was like all he cared about was me finishing.

he moved his face from my legs, making me let out a whine at the loss of contact.

he stuck his tongue out, his spit dripping down onto my pussy.

“what do you think about when you touch yourself? ” he asked suddenly while he brought his finger down to my core to rub me.

“i- oh” i cried out in surprise at the feeling of his finger entering me.

“holy fuck, you’re so tight” he whispered as he pushed his pointer finger in and out of my tight walls.

“oh my god” i whimpered when he pushed another finger in.

“if you don’t answer me, i’m stopping” he spoke.

“this! i think about this!” i rushed out, eyes screwing shut at the feeling of his rough fingers inside of me.

“i think about how perfect your hands are. fuck- how long your fingers are” i struggled out between moans, “i think about you” i finished.

“yeah? what about my cock?” he asked as his fingers sped up.

“you think about what it would feel like for me to fuck you into oblivion? ” he asked as he curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot.

“fuck, yes! i’m so close chris” i cried out as he continued to plunge his fingers in and out of me.

“c’mon, you got it. doing so well for me, want you to make a mess all over me” he rasped out, fingers moving rapidly inside of me.

“chris, wait! i’m gonna-” i tried to warn him, but i was too far gone as my juices shot out of me.

the liquid dripped down his face, onto the saturated sheets underneath us.

“yes, yes, fuck yes” chris groaned as his mouth hung open. i leaned up slightly, watching the way his hips stuttered and his body shook.

“fuck” he let out breathlessly, as he began to shudder.

“did you just come untouched?” i asked, eyes widening slightly.

“if that doesn’t prove how much i want you, nothing will”

wait why’d i kinda eat ??? 🤭

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nicksmainbitch @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[yuri-is-online]

I'm curious about the first years' reaction to why can't I be your spouse.

I think it'd be hilarious

part one/part 2

A ha yes, hilarious. I am so sorry.

"Why couldn't I be your spouse?"

Ace is struck mute. The blush starts at the tips of his ears, spreads across his face, and down across his neck. Because you don't want him. That's the reason right? He's your best friend. You're his. That's your dynamic. It keeps you both safe from any complications or unnecessary feelings but god if you're just going to look up at him and bat your eyes trying to hold back tears at the thought of not being his? "Jeez, we're still in school you know? Ask again later." You won't get a chance to do that, Ace wants to be the one to ask. You deserve that much from him with how much he teases you, or so he says.

There are two ways I can see this question going with Deuce. He's oblivious to the nature of his own feelings: "Because you are meant to get married to someone you love?" He's overwhelmed with distress when you start to cry at his words, but he doesn't understand the source of the pain. Love is a heavy word, and sure he does love you, your best buds! But marriage is extremely serious and sure he's had dreams about you guys living together and stuff like that but he's sure that's just a friendship thing. Not that he ever dreams about doing that with Ace...

If he does know he's in love with you that little question will make Deuce start panicking because of how expensive weddings are. He will be very happy for you to be his spouse, just give him some time please <3

"Because you're not staying." Jack has accepted you are the one he's been waiting for, but he's never verbalized it until now. He's a bit disappointed if he's honest, not with who you are but with the circumstances under which you've met. He modeled his dreams of what his spouse would be like off of his parents and grandparents, he would love you and you would love him. You would be together forever and build a little life together. But you are from a different world and will have to go home some day, he doesn't get to keep you and he doesn't have the option of getting over you. His only option is to deny that he wants you as his spouse until his soul prevents him from doing it anymore, no matter how happy hearing you ask to be his make him feel.

Epel is happy to hear you say that, but it's a bittersweet happiness. Epel wants you to be saying that because you think he's cool. Because you think of him as a manly man who you can rely on to provide for you and keep you safe from all of the monsters you've faced so far. But he knows you pretty well at this point, he doesn't think that you rely on him because you think he's cool. Maybe that's a goods thing though, you've never been judgemental of who he is even if the words you use to describe him aren't the exact ones he wants just yet. That doesn't mean "spouse" isn't how he wants to describe you, and he's not shy of letting you know that. Just this once.

Sebek doesn't answer at first. He doesn't yell either, nor does there appear to be a gathering storm on his face. He looks despondent, not the look you would want on the face of someone when you start talking about getting married. "Because I have treated you in a truly abominable manner most unfitting of my rank based on a prejudiced view of your character." Anyone who looks at him can see that he's in love, that he has no objection to you being his spouse. But he can't have that, he's unworthy. Not that you wants you to take this personally, he is used to being inadequate. Just let him savor the happiness he felt from hearing you say you wanted to be his in the first place. It is more than he deserves for how cruel he has been to you.

[girllblogging777]

𝐼𝑅𝐼𝑆 — 𝑀𝐴𝑇𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑂 𝑅𝐼𝐷𝐷𝐿𝐸

↳ short mattheo riddle drabble based off the song “iris” by the goo goo dolls.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

and i’d give up forever to touch you

cause i know that you feel me somehow,

mattheo riddle never let himself feel anything other than hatred, until you came into his life. before you, he was just numb, nothing that pure rage and darkness. but with you, everything changed. he didn't need words or grand gestures, just being near you was enough to make him feel...something. it was like, for the first time, someone actually saw him. and the first time you touched him, when he let his guard down and let you in, something deep inside him shifted. you buried your face in his chest, and he froze, not knowing what to do. the only touch he’d ever known was violent and cruel, so he didn't know how to handle the soft, soothing way you held him. but once he gave in and wrapped his arms around you, he knew he’d give up everything for just one more second of this.

✩✩✩✩

you’re the closest to heaven that i’ll ever be

and i don’t wanna go home right now

everyone else saw mattheo as nothing but trouble, like he was born bad. darkness seemed to follow him everywhere, and he figured that was just how it was supposed to be. hell had probably been his destiny from the moment he was born. but then you came along. you, with your golden heart and warm soul, gave him a taste of something pure, something he knew he didn’t deserve. somehow, he had found his way into your life, into your heart, and for the first time ever, he understood what “home” meant. he never had a real home before, no place or person to run back to. but now, you were becoming that for him. his safe place, his shelter.

✩✩✩✩

and all i can taste is this moment

and all i can breathe is your life

and sooner or later it’s over

i just don’t wanna miss you tonight

mattheo wasn’t stupid. letting you in gave him hope, but deep down, he knew the truth. no matter how much he tried, he’d never be good enough for you. the connection you shared felt like a temporary dream, something that could disappear at any second. he promised himself he wouldn’t let anyone see him weak, but you made that impossible. the closer he got to you, the more he feared what would happen when it all fell apart. that’s just how he was, doubting everything, second-guessing every feeling. because he’d always been broken, and he couldn’t imagine anyone seeing past that. but with you, he wanted to try, even if it meant risking everything. because he found himself missing you everytime you weren’t around.

✩✩✩✩

and i don’t want the world to see me

cause i don’t think that they’d understand

when everything’s made to be broken

i just want you to know who i am

mattheo never cared about what the world thought of him. everyone saw him as ruined, a lost cause. they couldn’t understand the storm inside him, the pieces that never fit together quite right. he knew he was broken, and he had grown to accept that. but you saw through the cracks, past the sharp edges, and somehow, you still wanted to know him. he didn’t want to hide from you, didn’t want to pretend to be someone he wasn’t, but he didn’t understand why you stuck with him even after seeing his dark side. for the first time, he wanted to be seen. not as the person everyone else thought he was, but as the person he really was, deep down. he just wanted you to know him, the real him, the one who was scared, vulnerable, and maybe even a little bit hopeful. because in a world full of chaos and brokenness, you made him feel like he could be someone else, just for a moment.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

a/n : i thought about this after making the moodboard the other day, iris is literally the theme song of my life and i listen to it 24/7. anyways my requests are open, please like/comment/reblog and tell me if you wanna be tagged !!!

@iris-qt @tateshifts @myunperfektstorys @yikesitslush @sp7-mr @shiftingwithmars @redeemingvillains @helendeath @larmesdevanille @fluffycookies22 @reys-letters @mattheosdior @sylviaonyx @fbvreadingblog @moonlightreader649 @jolly4holly @elsie-bells @bellatrix-lestrange5 @icantkeepmyplantsalive @dexoq

[yuki-world]

那维莱特 | NEUVILLETTE ; TEACH

summary | you're just so sexually inexperienced, surely neuvillette, someone who has lived for millenniums, could teach you a thing or two about pleasuring someone?

tags | nsfw (smut), fem!reader, slight corruption, first-time blowjob, throat bulge, face-fucking, cum swallowing, praise kink, mentions of virginity, 1.9k words

a/n : you have no idea how down bad i am. pt 2 here —> learn

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

neuvillette is not amused.

he’s always open to sharing his knowledge with others; in fact, he has been teaching you a plethora of things, more than you could’ve imagined. you admired neuvillette, he knew that very well. experience was definitely something he didn’t lack.

but some things… aren’t meant to be shared, especially not whatever you were asking for.

“its not that big of a deal,” you rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “you said you would teach me anything.”

“please, it's unwise to joke about things like that,” neuvillette says. he looks at you for any hints of a smile, a giggle, anything to indicate that you were joking. he sees nothingー just you with your head slightly tilted, waiting patiently for his answer. quite cute, he must admit.

look, he understands that you are a curious person; you’re always up for expanding your knowledge. but isn’t this… a little too much? asking him to teach you how to give a blowjob? it's not like he didn’t have experience with… that. but this topic wasn’t exactly what he had in mind when he said you could ask him anything.

but neuvillette has a soft spot for you; he’s come to grow fond of you. what started from him finding it annoying how you pester him on the daily, to him looking forward to seeing you as an escape from his work. you’re like a breath of fresh air. he has no obligation to, but he feels like it's his job to guide and protect you.

the room fills with silence, and you attempt to draw an answer out of him again. he’ll probably give in, you think. after all, he does have a soft spot for you. “oh, but i’m not joking,” you rebutted. “why won’t you teach me?” you try again, hoping your question would be answered.

its silent yet again, the lack of response making you click your tongue. its hard to figure out how he’s feeling, because the look on his face tells you nothing. that’s when you thought you could tease him a little to get a reaction out of him, if that would even work.

“how disappointing. i suppose i’ll just have to ask someone else, maybe wriothesley? i’m sure he’ll be happy to teach me.”

the mention of another man’s name has his attention back onto you immediately. sure, he’s hesitant on teaching you about pleasuring someone. but no way is he going to let you ask someone else about this; he won’t allow it. won’t even consider it. the image of you sucking another man off has him furrowing his eyebrows.

“what do you think? or maybe i should askー”

“i think that’s enough, y/n.”

at this point, you think you might’ve actually made him angry. he’s never sounded this strict with you before, it almost sounds like he’s about to give you a whole lecture on why you shouldn’t be asking for these types of things. but he doesn’t.

it’s such a dirty act, it feels terribly wrong, but he simply couldn’t deprive you of such knowledge. if something like this piques your curiosity, then he will go along with it to satisfy you.

neuvillette clears his throat, composing himself. “i will only teach you onceー once and we won’t speak about this again. does that sound alright?”

he sees your face light up in an instant, nodding eagerly. “thank you, neuvillette! i will be forever grateful!” you exclaim, and he feels his cock twitch in his pants. fuck, he thinks. you’re going to be the death of him.

“kneel for me,” he asks of you, and you lower yourself obediently. you’re directly facing his crotch, and embarrassment creeps onto you. you shy away from the image in front of you, nervously playing with your fingers. your face is flushed red no matter how hard you try to hide it.

he notices immediately, hand reaching to stroke your hair, intending to provide some sort of comfort and reassurance. “are you nervous?” he questions, and you nod slowly.

“oh, love. don’t be nervous. i’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

your heart jumps at the pet name, eyes widening. that felt way too good to hear. you don’t ask if he called you that by mistake, partially because you were too eager to proceed, but also because you didn’t want him to correct himselfー if it was even a mistake at all. “please do, neuvillette,” you urge.

he finally releases his cock from the confines of his pants, hard and erect as it lightly slaps your cheek when he pulls it out.

you almost start drooling at his length. it was so large, so long, so thick. you haven’t even put it in your mouth and you’re already starting to think about how it would feel inside you. the pink tip leaks pearly drops of pre-cum. your hands reach up to his cock immediately, and he hisses.

“eager now, are we?” he teases, while you’re still in awe over his impressive size. he silently chuckles at how you admire his length, almost like you just found treasure. “have you ever seen a cock, y/n?”

you’ve… seen a few. not in real life though, and definitely none similar to his size. it's different, in a good way, seeing it up-close. it’s even more special because it's neuvillette. “not in real lifeー not like this, no.”

“i see,” he says, exhaling as he pulls your hand off, giving himself a couple of pumps. were you really that pure? it makes him so hard.

“are you ready? listen very carefully, yes?” he guides his cock onto your lips, tapping a few times. “take it in slowly, and ensure your teeth don’t touch,” he tells you.

he taps his cock on your lips again, and you open your mouth again without any hesitation. he guides his cock into your mouth inch by inch, and you taste his pre-cum on your tongue immediately. a tad bit salty, but you can take it.

“y/nー oh…” he sighs in pleasure as he feels your mouth wrap around his cock-head. he was in heavenー your mouth was so warm and wet, he could barely control himself from fucking into your face. he should be the one composed, he should be the one staying calm, he’s the one teaching you for fuck’s sake; yet he’s the one struggling as you start taking his cock further into your mouth.

“just like that, a little moreー mmh… thats it,” his breath hitches when he feels the tip hit the back of your throat. he was so deep in, but he wanted to just thrust it in further. you took it so well, he thinks. not even gagging like he expected you to, and no teeth just like he told you to. how obedient.

you adjusted your mouth on his cock as your drool started dripping down onto your lap. your hand reaches up to stroke what you couldn’t take in, and it elicits a gasp from him. he doesn’t instruct you to, but you start moving on your own as if you’ve done it before.

you drench his cock with your saliva as you suck him off, your hands holding his thighs for support.

“such a good girl, y/n. you take my cock so wellー don’t even need to teach you,” he praises and you hum around him as a form of thanks. you take that as motivation as you suck faster, occasionally swirling your tongue on the tip. you tongue his slit, licking up every drop of pre-cum that leaks.

he throws his head back when you take him particularly deep in your throat, and he almost couldn’t take it anymore. he stops you, pulling you off his cock. copious amounts of saliva drip out, a string of saliva connecting his cock to your mouth.

this was a sight he could only ever see in his dreams. your lips swollen, cheeks flushed red, your eyes tearyー god, he loves you, he really loves you. he thinks you look absolutely beautiful even with your face covered in your own spit. this does it for him.

“stay put, and let me fuck your face, alright? can you handle it, love?” there it was again, calling you ‘love’. you’re smitten, you’d do anything after hearing him call you that. “iー i can handle it.”

neuvillette smiles, wiping off some of the drool on your face before he slides his cock inside your mouth again. “as expected of my good girl.”

his hands hold the sides of your head for stability, slowly thrusting into your mouth to test the waters. when he’s sure you’re okay, he starts fucking into your face, making sure you feel every inch of his cock down your throat.

he can’t stopー he’s addicted. truth be told, he’s been deprived of sexual pleasure for so long, it felt like heaven. you took him so deep with no complaints, you deserve so much more for being so good to him. he can’t stop thrusting into your mouthー it feels like he was fucking a pussy.

and then thoughts of fucking you invade his mind. if you’ve never given a blowjob before, surely that would mean you’ve never had sex, which makes you a virgin. fuck, he wants to take you so bad. you’d be so tight, so warm, so sweet. would you like to know about sex too, then? would you let him take you?

he’s brought back to reality as your hand grips his thighs, signaling for him to stop. he thinks he might’ve hurt you, but you continue to your administrations. he’s so close, he feels his climax approaching, but he needs slightly more.

“give me your hand,” he requests, and you raise your hand up. he takes it gently, guiding it his balls as he squeezes them. “yeahー ah, keep doing that.”

what a fast learner you are. you massage his balls as you continuing to deep-throat him. the grip on your hair was getting tighter, louder groans coming out from him. “you’re going to make me cum, love. god, i’m so close.”

he breaks when you take him in so deep, he sees a bulge in your throat. it was his last straw. “ohー fuuuck…” he thrusts into you as he blows his load straight down your throat. you didn’t even have time to taste him or even react, widening your eyes as he throws his head back.

he pants, pulling his cock out slightly till only the tip was left in your mouth, pumping out weak spurts of cum. you swallowed it all, even going so far as to licking him clean of any remnants of cum.

neuvillette is a mess. you’re a mess. he’s so far gone, he still feels the effects of his climax. he pulls you off his cock, helping you up before tucking himself back in his pants.

“are you alright, y/n? are you hurt? my apologies, i should have asked for your permission,” he caresses your cheek, referring to how he came in your mouth. you shook your head. “it’s fineー i… liked it.”

“oh? how naughty,” he scolds, smoothing your messy hair down from how he gripped it earlier. “so, was this a helpful lesson, y/n? do you know nowー how to pleasure someone?”

you nodded. “really insightful. thank you, neuvillette. but…”

“but?”

“maybe... you can teach me what an orgasm feels like next?”

“i see. i will gladly indulge.”

ー @yuki-world

[nothorses]

This is a genuine ask and I hope it doesn't come off as rude, obviously people can do whatever they want forever, but what is the logic behind a lesbian dating a transgender man? (By lesbian I mean someone who is only attracted to women), wouldn't that exclude binary trans men then since trans men are men? Or is it like "Trans men can be lesbians because they have vaginas" which just feels like bioessentialism with progressive wording...

I think the core misunderstanding here might be in your use of the word "logic". And there's a super high chance I'm extrapolating more intention than you put into that word choice, but hear me out.

On a super basic level, I think it's important to understand the reasons people use words like "lesbian" and "trans man" in the first place. In certain contexts, it makes sense to assign these terms more rigid definitions: a study would likely have a single, clear definition for those words in order to talk about some research results. An academic essay might need a shared definition if they're talking about broad trends and systemic issues.

But when we're talking about an individual's choice of identity labels- the words they use to describe their own personal experiences and relationship to gender and orientation- it doesn't make as much sense to apply someone else's definition of those words to that individual's use of them. They're trying to describe their own internal world to you; what matters in that conversation is how they understand the words they use, and why they chose them.

Don't get me wrong: common understandings of a word can play a part in that conversation! My understanding of what "gay trans man" means has been shaped almost entirely by other people. I chose those words for myself because of what I think most people will understand them to mean. In twenty years, it's possible that the common understandings of those words could change, and I might use different words to better communicate the same internal experience.

But I also might not. I might decide that my personal connection to those words is more important to me, or even that saying I'm a "gay trans man", as a person 20 years older than I am now, better reflects my internal experience as one that was shaped by the time I came to understand myself in. Maybe it'll be important to me to communicate that I understand myself as a "gay trans man" because of what those words meant 20 years ago. Maybe it'll be important to me to ask tomorrow's queer people to learn about my context, and my story, in order to really understand me.

And maybe, when I fill out a survey for a queer study in 20 years, I'll read the definitions they use for all of these identity labels and categorize myself accordingly, even though I don't personally identify with those definitions or words.

So yeah, I could talk about all the reasons someone might identify as a "lesbian" and still be attracted to trans men. I could talk about trans men who still call themselves "lesbians" because of what the words meant 20 or 40 years ago, or some unique definition they heard in one place and decided they liked enough to keep, even though nobody else has even heard it. I could talk about lesbians whose partners turn out to be trans men, and who still feel attracted to them afterwards; whose partners are okay with, or even feel validated by, their lesbian partners still calling themselves "lesbians". I could talk about nonbinary trans men, and bigender or multigender trans men, who are women and/or lesbians as much as they are trans men. I could talk about bi and pan lesbians, who may find themselves attracted to one trans man or a handful of men- trans and cis both- but otherwise mostly experience attraction to women.

But like, the point shouldn't be to find a good enough reason to justify it. The point isn't the "logic". The point is to understand that everyone's internal experience is fundamentally different from yours, and to be curious about each individual.

It's great that you asked this question in sincerity, but I'm the wrong person to be asking.

When someone says they're a lesbian who's attracted to trans men, they're trying to share something about themselves with you! That is a precious, unique thing you are being entrusted with. Get curious! Ask them what those words mean to them, and take the opportunity to get to know them better. Learn their story! Connect!

I can't tell you that person's story any more than you can guess it on your own, no matter how much you try to logic it out. That's exciting! The world is big, and it's full of unique stories and perspectives you couldn't even dream of inventing! That's so much better than a logic puzzle, don't you think?

[hateblackies]

late night talks

"Loves dumb. People get too caught up in it. They forget who they are chasing that feeling," a young Gojo Satoru said, twirling a pen carelessly in his hand as he sat in his study chair, looking into your eyes through the reflection of the window. When he saw you weren’t replying, he continued.

“People die. What then? Chase after the void they left? Yeah, right," he scoffed. It perturbed you despite the gravity of the words he was saying, he seemed so brash.. so eager, and so careless.

"Love is natural," you said, holding a pillow close to your chest as you sat on his bedside. Satoru turned his chair, watching you snuggle up to the pillow. He rolled his eyes, then looked back in the direction of the window, with a pout that was meant as humor.

"What..?" you said quietly, your eyebrows furrowing, clutching the pillow harder. He turned his head over the headrest and smirked at you “You’re hugging that pillow as if it were your lifeline.”

He leaned back, propping himself up with his hands behind his head. “That thing isn’t going to love you back, you know...” he snickered. “Oh, shut up!” you said in annoyance, throwing the pillow at him from across the room now.

He caught it with one hand, his eyes narrowing. “Oh wow, you’re really mad, huh?” he teased. His lips tugged into a smirk, and he raised his eyebrows. “Someone’s jealous of a pillow?” he asked dramatically, now holding the pillow close to his chest himself.

As much as she wanted to leave his room, she couldn’t bring herself to. She stayed sat on his bed, arms now crossed. She was silent for some time. “If there was no love, we’d all be empty, soulless people,” she whispered beneath her breath. Satoru hated the gushiness.

“If there was no love, there would be no pain,” he countered, still staring at you with soft eyes and an amused look. Satoru wasn’t trying to start an argument at all; he just wanted to see how she would respond.

Her eyes widened. Her breath got stuck in her throat with his sharp words. “That’s.. not true.” He furrowed his eyebrows in curiosity at her response.

“How is it not? How could someone suffer the pains of loving someone so much you can’t see them leave-” He was caught off guard by being interrupted.

“I won’t leave,” she blurted out, suddenly clasping her hands over her mouth at her words, her face reddened. He tilted his head, confused and amused at your sudden outburst.

“Eh?” he said, smirking. He kept his gaze on you expectantly, and raised a brow. He was a dumb teenager. He didn’t understand girls.

She dug her head into her hands now looking down, not saying another word. He was silent for some time. Probably thinking about Pokémon, or something.. by now.

“Why… why aren’t you saying anything?” she said softly, eyes now peeking over her arms, observing him. “Hm? What am I supposed to say?” he asked, keeping a straight face.

She huffed. Maybe an ‘I won’t leave you either’? she thought, but heck, she knew he wouldn’t commit to that. “You’re trying to be a smart ass.” She said.

He laughed, this time genuinely. “Am I?” he said with a cocky undertone.“Besides. Did you seriously expect me to say something mushy like ‘I’ll be with you forever’ type of thing?”

“Especially not to you…” he said with a cheeky grin. His statement was half-true and half-sarcastic; It’s just what he did, but he was serious in a sense; he wasn’t the type of person who would just go around saying romantic stuff. He liked to show rather than say when it came to things like love. And besides, he wasn’t the type to be able to commit to such a thing. He was Gojo Satoru.

“Maybe.. I did.” She said softly, trying to hide her evident frustration in him as she propped herself off his bed, taking steps toward the door.

He stared at her in utter amusement. He crossed his legs and watched her walking toward the door. “Aww, Going already?” he said as he heard the door shut closed, He thought they were having a good time; her leaving was a little surprising to him, despite the way he’s acting. Oh well.

“hm. girls are weird.”

[polyestercleaner]

hello! Can i request dom Joost and sub reader with s degradation kink?

Thanks for the request >U<♡

|Summary:You had an argument with joost and instead of leaving you end up fucking.

|Content Warning⚠️: P in v, fingering, degrading, joost being a little rough on reader. Argument turns to sex if that's not your thing.

You've never been good at controlling your anger or your pain. Always letting those tears slip past your eyes when you couldn't make someone know what you feel, when you realize that maybe, no one will ever get you. "I thought you'd be there." You've asked joost to come by to hang out with you,

you wanted to show him some cool stuff You've done for your work. But instead he ditched you and went out with his friends. You felt hurt. Rightfully so. "Oh come on I'm sorry it's just... I mean is it that big of a deal schat?" He never raises his voice at you. Never. But tonight you felt like if you tried to get your point across any further he's gonna snap. And you won't like it. He never hits you.

Ever that's not who he is and it never will be. But he does get pissed much like any other person. You cross your arms as you walk towards your bed, sitting down as you look at him. He's starring at you, standing with a confused expression. He shrugs. "So what now your just gonna be pissed forever? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you-I mean. I just can't right now" your eyes go wide as you register what he says. "Come again?" "NOT like that.You know that. I just don't get how it's a big deal."

You scoff at him. He's so ignorant sometimes you just wanna punch him. "I've never missed your concerts or when you get an award. I know im not at as high status as you, but I still achieve stuff." He groans as he turns away from you. "Oh fuck off here we go again with the status" your tears continue to fall as you grip the sheets underneath you.

How could he. You got up, walking towards him. Forcing him to look at you. He hates to see you cry and you know that. He rolls his eyes. But you knew he meant that as a way to get his eyes off of you. "Whats wrong with you" "Listen I AM sorry but I'm just trying to understand you here? How can I fix this ja? What's up whats going on I just don't get you sometimes." Anger is expressed in many forms, and you've been there in every form. Punching things. Yelling. Screaming and crying into a pillow.

But you've never done this. You pull him by his shirt and kissed him, your lips and his attached as you made out with him, he hesitated for a minute before kissing you back. Usual kisses with joost are soft, their sweet and sensual. But this was a kiss of pure hunger and anger. Your hands roamed his shirt as you helped him pull it off, exposing his chest as he slowly pushed you back towards the bed, shoving you ontop of it as he watched you quickly take off your skirt and shirt, your bra following along leaving you in thigh highs and your panties.

He hovered over your body as you made out on the bed. His mouth traveled everywhere on your body. Your neck. Your tits. Lapping at your nipple as he gently puts pressure with his teeth. You gasp as you both continue eating away at eachother roughly, "let me show you how sorry I am. Being all fussy and rude." He shoved your panties to the side before teasing your pussy with a finger, "wet enough for me yeah? You slut. All that fighting got you this horny? You like seeing me pissed? God your pathetic"

His words got to you. Making you even wetter by the second You groaned in response to the feeling of his finger sinking into your pussy, another finger following along, his pace was harsh and fast, his fingers long enough to hit that little sweet spot you never seem to reach to. You whimpered as you threw your head back, your hand grabbing at his wrist, you weren't pulling him off, you just wanted to feel a bit of his flesh since he was hovering over you. Simply watching with amusement.

"Your all gooey on the inside, need my cock inside of you liefde? Yeah?" You nodded quickly as you continued whimpering out his name in such a needy manner, your hips rolling to gain friction each time u felt his fingers slam fully inside of you. "Close.. m'close" you whimpered as joost kept starring at you. Nodding before speaking up. "Yeah? So close right? You wanna cum? You wanna cum around my fingers? Well..." your eyes widen as you felt him pull out of you. Leaving you empty as you watched him unbuckle his pants. "W-wha..." he smirked at the dumbfounded look you had on your face. He pushed himself between your legs before shoving his cock inside of you, joost usually gives you time to adjust.

To take in his features but neither of you were up for that. You tried your best to hold back your moan. If he was gonna tease you this way you were gonna atleast try to aswell.. he looked at you confused. A stiffled whimper leaving and he could immediately tell what you were doing. "Whatever your doing it won't work, you know how much I make you feel good. Just accept it. That's what you get for acting like a cunt."

You didn't care how much he insulted you. You loved every bit of it and you knew he didn't mean it, he knew it aswell. He gripped your hips before slamming his cock into you. His pace rough and harsh as you continued to try and stiffle your moans, "Let's see how well you hold up." He continued pounding into you. You threw a hand to your mouth as you stiffled the noises that urged to come out.

Letting a whimper slip by every now and then but ofcourse it wasn't pleasant enough as hearing your noises loudly. He frowned at you. Watching as you continued to try your best to tease him back. Whatever your technique was it was failing. You squint one eye shut as you suddenly felt joost pull out and slam back inside of you,

skin against skin noises echoing through the room. That was enough to break you. You let out the loudest and most lwedest moan you've ever let out. Shrieking as he began laughing at what you did.

"God you just never fail to be pathetic sometimes schat" he kissed your forehead before placing his hands underneath your arms and pulling you into a gentle hug as he grunts in your ear. You on the other hand, lost it all. All you could think of was joost. You couldn't even be mad anymore. He continued fucking you as you felt your orgasm approaching you.

You shrieked and whimpered like your life depended on it. Suddenly with a string of "Ah! Ah!" Noises you felt him cum inside of you, your orgasm taking over you, everything flashing white as you let out a pathetic helpless whimper. Your clit pulsing and burning as you held joost. "Dont let go...wait" you held him as he panted into your ear.

You heard him gently speak. "I'm sorry.. really liefde. I promise I'll be with you when you need or want me next time." You nodded. Shutting your eyes closed as you both took in eachothers embrace. Panting and grunting as he slowly pulls out of your pussy....

|THANKS FOR THE REQUEST YHEHE O_O

[thesensteawitch]

IF YOU WERE A MUSE TO A POET 🍁💌

~This Is What They Would Tell You!

Pick A Pile Reading

(Left To Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!💖

I hope you're doing well. Here's a collective reading about what a poet would tell you if you were their muse! ✨

TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND PICK YOUR PILE INTUITIVELY.

In case you would like to BOOK A READING with me then I am sharing the links below for the same.

BOOKING FORM 💌

RATE CARD $$$

You can also DM me in case of any query.🫶🏻

***

Pile 1

You have so many sides to you, and yet you hold space for more. I am directionless. Where should I lead this poem about you? Or where are you leading me? There’s so much to you that I want to express, but I fear I’ll end up looking like a fool. You’re like the universe—mesmerizing, intriguing, and frightening, with layers and layers of mysteries. You are divine to me. Being a poet feels like a boon when I look at you. Only fated souls get to write about someone so infinitely charming. I sense the never-ending wisdom you hold. I’d forever be your devotee if you’d let me drink just one drop of what keeps you glowing like you do. You’re sharp, kind, wild, and a dream that only slips away. Where are you looking? What inspiration do you need? Come on! You walk to your own rhythm, your shadows delightfully dancing to your beat. The sound of your steps tells me stories of places you’ve been and people you’ve met. You hold no regret, no grudge—only lessons. You think, reflect, and cry for being mistreated. But when it’s your turn, you choose to destroy the weapons that bruised you so deeply, instead of hurting others with them. The venom couldn’t kill you but made you wise. Following your footprints, I find the earth swallowing the shed skin of your old self. How can I define you when you’re constantly transforming? Every time I think I have finally known you, I find something new revealed. My hands fall short of holding your grace, my mind loses the words to portray it. As I said, you’re sharp—you’ll never let me read you. You take me to the end only to throw me into a new beginning. It’s not your fault; I understand that’s who you truly are. Sometimes, while falling asleep, I wonder who would be so lucky to fall in love with you? Or who would you fall in love with? But then again, I don’t feel you’re deprived of love, because YOU ARE love. I look at you the way others look at stars. Everyone attempts to count them at least once in their lifetime but eventually gives up, knowing it’s an attempt they will fail. But I am not tired; I am taking a break. I would like to admire you for now, knowing that maybe I too will never fully know you, but I’ll keep exploring who you are, just like scientists cannot give up on SPACE! Ah! See, I cracked something! Your lover must be someone like you—infinitely charming and holding mysteries as vast.

***

Pile 2

You know what? I am mad at you! Because either you attack or you run away. See? You just revolted back. Or perhaps hid in your closet, knowing that someone knows your little secret. You’re that 22° in astrology. Kill or be killed? You’re neither a prey nor do you need to triumph over someone or something else to keep yourself safe. All I am trying to say is that you’re not meant to just survive; you’re meant to thrive. But hey, I do see your heart. The life around it has withered, and you’re surviving on memories. For how long, may I ask? You’re not a coward; you’re afraid. I heard someone say, “The one who is capable of love is capable of being saved.” At this point, all the love is leaking from the corners of your heart. Make the best use of it, or it’ll go to waste. Life isn’t at the extremes; it’s in the middle. That’s where you find your balance. That’s where you will shine bright. I see you singing to yourself, making stories in your heart but never writing them down for the world to taste. You don’t need to say ‘NO’ to something you want. Openly say what you want and to the person who can give it to you. Don’t keep whispering your wishes into the ears of God. He’s even giving you a side-eye now, haha. You’re the leader! If you don’t take the lead, you’ll never have your pack. Do you get it? Why am I even writing about you? It seems to me that you’re an artist too. You know the depths of your pain better than I do. Gosh, you need a hug! Whoever you’ve lost in this physical world doesn’t like to see those tears rolling down your cheeks. Every time you try to make sense of your emotions, you only make your heart heavier. Love keeps dripping and draining into the river of unexpressed emotions. You’re about to be granted a new life, a restart. But this won’t be handed to you until you decide and do what you’re supposed to do. The pain demands to be felt and yada yada yada! We’ve all watched *The Fault in Our Stars*. But come on, there’s an expiry date to feeling it too. I told you, you’re an extreme case. Pain won’t leave you until you leave it. YOU DESERVE THE WORLD. And I know you don’t believe it, but from where I am seeing, all your wishes are about to come true. You’re just ONE decision away. And I am here watching and waiting for you to make that move. Go where your heart is; that’s where you’re supposed to be. Don’t run away from your destiny. Remember, you’re not the same kid who froze at the point of a horrifying sight and couldn’t do anything about it. You’re grown up now. You can HEAL yourself. You’re not hopeless or helpless. You don’t even need to find your potential; it’s just there, waiting for you to see it and accept it.

***

Pile 3

Excuse me, miss/mister? Do you even have time to read what I have to say? You’re too busy figuring things out. Huff! The amount of mental and physical work you do is commendable. Are you waiting for something or someone? I am not surprised to see your spiritual side. What side, huh? You’re SPIRITUAL—IN & OUT! You’re wise, extremely intuitive, and resourceful but haven’t learned how to avoid burnouts. Can something ever be hidden from you? From where I see, it seems you’re new here but not naive. You’ve completed a tough journey filled with passion, rage, excitement, and burnouts (again!). Life has been preparing you for something bigger than your destiny! You’re heavily protected from the forces that don’t want you to be where God is taking you. But we all know who’s more powerful, don’t we? I see you bumping into your past sometimes, but you quickly realize that’s not where you’re supposed to be. The price you would have to pay to return to the same place or people is quite heavy. You don’t feel comfortable in the old stories anymore. You’re grateful but not greedy to go back. I laugh at those who think they can lure you with temptations! Lol! You are ten steps ahead of them. Stay where you are. All this silence around you is a blessing. You’re about to win. You’re meant to win in this lifetime. This is not your first time around. I have seen you somewhere—not here, but in a different lifetime. You’ve lived all those lives to WIN in this one! The smoke of your burned karmas surrounds you. You’ve cleansed! You’re not in the dark; you’re rising from the ashes. I see the wings of a phoenix on your back. YOU’RE THE CREATOR OF YOUR OWN DESTINY. Evidence of your faith and intuition follows you in the forms of birds, butterflies, feathers, and angel numbers. One day, you may share your story, but you know that day is not today. God, you’re mysterious, and all those stories are tattooed on your skin in a language no one can decipher. Your presence is enough for people to turn around, pause, and reflect. You raise the temperature of the room and melt the ice away. People open up to you naturally. Everyone just wants to experience a drop of you. But you’re not easily accessible. Your magic is sacred and can’t be put on sale. You’re magic. The path you’ve walked on shines so bright. That’s how I trace your past life because you leave glitters behind.

[shadesoflsk]

DRUNK WORDS ARE SOBER THOUGHTS

pairing: arthur morgan x fem reader

summary: arthur didn't believe he was worthy at all. however, you made it your duty to turn harsh words into self love.

warnings: reader is drunk, mentions of death, a bit suggestive at the end.

word count: 1.7k

Arthur was a man of few words. Blunt and straightforward statements were his way to go. He was well-spoken, don't get it wrong. But it seemed that his knowledge in words shone the brightest when a plethora of adjectives slipped from his lips at the sight of him in the mirror.

Staring back at him, was a madman. A garbage at most. Dull, horrible, and not worthy of a penny even though a bounty was placed on him.

However, life worked in mysterious ways when someone appeared in his life. He was no longer a cloud on a sunny day but a star in a clear sky. His eyes, at least for now, had a glint that has been lost ever since…—he doesn't know when or which was the ultimate instance in which happiness left his life.

You were a sight for sore eyes, a bandaid for a wound. A one and only in a world of forever ‘ifs.’ A constant where finite was the sole possibility. And lastly, a sweet fragrance mixed with the smell of gunpowder and death. 

However, he seldom thought about a calm life. He was not deserving of silence since it meant replaying his life through his eyes. Maybe that’s why his own mind was sabotaging his happiness. Life as an outlaw at least gave him a purpose, trying not to get killed left him with no time to dwell on his own low self-esteem. 

“You ugly bastard…” Sour as always but not less honest. In his mind, it was a payback. An attempt to not be in debt with life or whatever entity above him. He didn’t deserve a good life, so a few insults at himself would make things even.

Despite the harsh words he shared with himself, there was a chirping but endearing voice that told him otherwise. Ugly would be replaced by beautiful and old with young. 

But words weren’t enough if his shell was hard to crack. Therefore, the change had to come from him and not from a third person. 

"Arthur….” An intoxicated voice called him and brought him back to reality, to his reality. Both of you have shared some drinks that led to being somewhat drunk. Alcoholic beverages affected you a tad more than him, but that didn’t mean you were unconscious.

You were indeed very conscious.

“You know I love you, right?” And perhaps his own demons subtly pull him to believe your words are just drunk rambles. Lies mixed with a hint of just neediness and stupidity. No wonder, he doesn’t let you drink. Because he now has to deal with the slow poison of not being actually loved.

Damn you.

You share a cabin, you share a room and you definitely share days in which boredom was the pillar of your new life. A boredom not less welcomed but still so foreign to the rough man. But of course, in his messed up mind that didn’t mean you loved him.

“You’re drunk…”

His insecurities drowned out any joy he could feel. Dismissing your words was easier than accepting a reality he had never experienced.

Loving himself.

“I am drunk. You’re completely right sir.” The little show you were giving him was rather amusing. He had dealt with a drunk you many times before, but now it seemed there was a sense of purpose behind your actions. 

“But I’m simply telling the truth.” A waterfall of I love you’s escaped your lips. As if every one of them tried to make its way deeper into his system and plant a seed of self-worth.  

Clumsily, your body fell on top of him. However, you were conscious enough not to knock him towards the bed but rather straddle his lap. A poor attempt at caging him and stopping him from evading your words.

A faint of irritation coursed through Arthur as your voice rose slightly. But not at you but at his own incompetence of believing your words as beautiful as they sounded. Nonetheless, he was weak when feeling the warmth of your body embracing his. A reminder of you being alive and well next to him.

“Quit your rambling and sleep, you drunken fool lady.” His words may have sounded harsh but deep down, a tender tone hid behind his call out. Especially with how his hands protected you from falling. 

A smile formed on your face as you felt Arthur’s hands on your lower back. A few months ago, you had told him you felt safe with him, his reply was no more than a scoff but that moment wouldn’t leave his mind. And although he could only see the hands of a killer, he ought to protect you no matter what.

That was the least he could do.

“You may say that but…” Your hand caressed his stubbled cheek. “Drunk words are…” A hiccup escaped your lips. “Drunk words are sober thoughts.”

And they damn were. Even when alcohol wasn’t running through your veins as it does now. I love you’s were more common than greetings at this point.

“You ain’t makin’ any sense, woman.” He whispered, brushing back some hair that was sticking to your forehead.

“You don’t make any sense either, Arthur Morgan.” You replied, this time a bit more serious than all of your previous ‘yapping’.

He groans, knowing you were right. There were days in which his existence didn’t make any sense, at least for him. 

You knew that this simple talk wouldn’t do anything to the so-wounded Arthur. His heart has built an armor so strong that not even truthful words could destroy it. You shifted in his lap and slowly moved closer to him.

“Let’s do something else.” A glint appeared in your eyes as you came up with an idea to sort out the root of the problem.

However, Arthur completely misunderstood your intentions.

“I ain’t doin’ nothing with you. Look at the state you’re in.” He stated firmly. 

“You fool of a man. It ain’t nothing to do with that sort of thing.” You softly punched him in his chest, not really aiming to hurt him but rather reprimand him. 

“Just… hear me out, okay?” Your eyes locked with his blue-ish ones. Amidst the drunken state you were in, your intentions were as clear as if you were sober. “You’re gonna repeat after me, got it?”

“I don’t like this.” Arthur muttered, his nose scrunching up a bit.

You paid no mind, already getting your plan to work. “Listen closely.” 

A hint of curiosity flashed through his eyes as he couldn’t really make out what you wanted him to do. 

“I love you.”

Arthur rolled his eyes at your words. Words he had heard (and said) so much. But there was not a day he did not yearn to hear it from your lips. 

He couldn’t help but sigh, a facade to hide how much he was starting to let himself drown in the feeling.

“I love you.” He finally obliged, his eyes squinting when he saw you grinning.

“Oh honey… I know.” You cooed but your chuckles were obvious to a confused Arthur. You were light-heartedly teasing him.  “But you were supposed to change the ‘I’ for ‘You’ and the ‘you’ for ‘me,’ silly”

“That’s not what the word ‘repeat’ means.” His words are accompanied by his own self of teasing. Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.

“Shut up Arthur….” 

“A little demanding for someone who can’t even sit straight on my lap.” And finally, a feeble smile adorned his face. 

“Go on.” You frowned, already waiting to continue with the little game or experiment you were both taking part in.

“You love me?” He repeated questioningly, expecting some kind of correction on your part.

“Very much.” You emphasized, letting your words linger in the air for a bit before coming up with another phrase, another affirmation he had to repeat. “Now… ‘I’m worthy’.”

He furrowed his eyebrows, he hadn’t even said the word yet and it already felt so foreign to him. Worthy of what?

“Say what?” He feigned ignorance, knowing damn well what your little plan was. A playful smile was on his face.

“Don’t play dumb. It doesn’t suit you.” You persisted, not allowing him to escape from the inevitable. “Repeat it.”

You gently held his face, your noses brushing in an endearing display of affection. And for a few seconds, both of you just stayed there, embracing the warmth of shared love and unspoken intimacy. 

Maybe he was indeed worthy. Worthy of having someone next to him every time he wakes up. Worthy of having a warm meal every day, and having someone he could so easily love.

Both of you are grinning like idiots, you were drunk on alcohol and he was in the love you were—or rather always provided. 

Reluctantly, slowly, and carefully. He thought about those two words and let them set in his brain before saying them. 

“I’m worthy.” He finally repeated… or confessed? His mind was still adamant to believe it. But acceptance is the first step for a change and you have taught him about the art of betterment.

A lump formed in his throat as he looked into your loving eyes. A feeling of purpose suddenly rushed back to him. After all these years, this was the first time he actually felt worthy. 

“So worthy…” A loving kiss was pressed against his lips. Your words were a silent prayer and the dim room was your sacred place. If God existed he surely did an amazing job forgiving him. 

Arthur’s eyes fluttered closed as your lips locked with his. He was no stranger to your affection but damn he would never say no to them. A strange sense of hope washed over him, maybe this was the beginning of a new era.

He had everything, it was time to enjoy it.

“So worthy…” He repeated even though he wasn’t mean to. Those were your words, but now he managed to sing them as if they were a song he was learning. 

And the phrase was repeated over and over that night. When your eyes got tired of being opened and when the alcohol finally took its toll on you. It was repeated when you finally fell asleep and he admired the face of his life partner. And it was repeated over the course of days, when he found his home inside of you, letting his body show how much he adored you.

Arthur was a man of few words. But now, his mental dictionary was completed and the insults were soon replaced with only words of affection.

Worthy of life and love.

[earthtooz]

·˚ ༘ MIKAGE REO BF HEADCANONS

warnings: fluff with angst + argument scene, mostly fluff tho but reo grovels bcthat'sjusthowilikehim, swearing, cw for food and alcohol, making out, hickies, sfw tho :p, 4k+ word count, gn!reader and pro soccer player!reo

a/n: I AM SOOOOOO NORMAL ABOUT HIM GUYS I PROMISE HAHAHA WATCH ME. WATCH ME *proceeds to write 4k+ words of what it'd be like dating this man*. enjoy &lt;3

💳💥💳💥 100/10 BOYFRIEND 💳💥💳💥 ARGUE WITH THE WALL.

sorry i just really love him (a lot).

anyways ! personally, i’ve always perceived a friends to lovers sort of situation with reo- friends. as in, he’s liked you from the get-go and was never shy about vocalising it. he often asked you out on dates and you’d kindly reject his offers.

despite your countless rejections, it never deterred him. lucky for reo that you didn’t seem to mind much, happy to spend time and be around him despite his blatant showcases of affection for you. 

reo was fuelled even more when you constantly turned him down, loving the ‘push-and-pull’ relationship surrounding you. his whole attitude surrounding fighting for things he wasn’t handed to at birth hasn’t exactly dwindled with time, proving apparent even now as a pro-soccer player. 

this meant that he loved how stubborn you were, declining his invites no matter how tempting the offer might have been. could have been a free meal- his treat, at a michelin star restaurant and you turned it down without hesitation.

to reo this only made you more worthwhile to chase because ever since he could remember, he's had the frustration of only being appealing to people because of his wealth. he got use to it after a while, coming to terms that his name would just be synonymous to money, but to have someone break this mould felt liberating.

selfishly enough, he wanted to be by your side forever.

(you were in love with him too but thought he was way out of your league) so yeah. ‘friends’. 

when you finally accepted a date after so long, reo was ecstatic. couldn’t hide how enthused he was when he finally heard the word ‘yes’ slip through your mouth. literally picked you up and spun you around, stuck in his little world of delirium and happiness for a few moments as you laughed with him, admiring his expression of pure elation whilst trapped in his arms. 

he was raised with proper gentlemanly etiquette so definitely a few dates before anything big happened with him. 

reo is absolutely the kind of boyfriend to memorise milestones. i kid you not, he has the date you finally agreed to go out with him memorised. it’s on his phone’s calender- he will always gift you flowers on this day that serve as a little reminder. when you ask him what’s the occasion he’ll shrug and act all nonchalant. maybe he’ll come clean about it one day, but for now, reo will savour how happy you are every time you receive a beautiful bouquet from him.

he’s the definition of down bad and he’s not at all ashamed to let you know. you had his heart in a chokehold before you even started dating can you imagine him now… like yo… what spell did you put on him.

must be the water he drinks because not even you know how reo got to the point he is at now.

bf that opens door for you, bf that understands the sidewalk rule and won’t have it any other way, bf that carries things you might need around - chapstick, hairtie, reo even has a change of shoes for you in his car just in case. and clothes!

bf that looks at you as if you put all the stars in the sky. bf who wakes up a little earlier just so he gets the chance to hold you, especially with how busy reo is. bf who admires you openly and freely.

‘don’t go where i can’t follow’ bf (he’s so dramatic).

reo is a mix between clingy and independent - he’s always open to spend time with you, but if it’s space you want, he’s more than ready to give it to you.

has no problems entertaining himself and not worrying about whatever you might be doing. he's not controlling and in fact, loves a partner who is independent too!

100% a gentleman so expect a lot of gifts from him. never lets you pay- not that you’re complaining, but if you even think about fishing out your wallet, he’s grabbing both your wrists in one hand and tapping his card on the machine instead. 

it’s a slow relationship, you’re both just trying to take your time to learn more about the other before things begin speeding up, and even though reo has been wanting you- wanting this for the longest time, he’s content with the pace. so long as he has you. 

the photos of you two are INCREDIBLE. mirror selfies are a must, but you’re definitely the kind of relationship that’s more on the private side. reo makes sure that your face is hidden save for side-profiles, silhouettes, or ¾ angles, but it’s just for media peace of mind that he was taken.

that said, if you’re going to an event together, he absolutely loves showing you off. your ultimate hype man.

also loves bringing you up whenever he can. ‘how’s practice?’ ‘oh amazing, i love going home to y/n.’, ‘what’s your favourite cheat day meal?’ ‘one of y/n’s childhood favourite dishes, i have like five plates in one sitting’, ‘where’d you get this from? it’s nice’ ‘y/n saw it in a magazine’.

asks you to move in with him five months into the relationship when you both realise you’re over way too often. when there are too many trinkets of yours left around his penthouse that his heart aches at your absence, yearning for your presence through little things that are attached to you.

reo gets so ecstatic when you accept, practically scoops you into his arms, unable to contain his excitement and glee.

ABSOLUTELY the couple that’s like ‘your secret is safe with me… and my partner!’ 

gossip sessions are a weekly occurrence. every saturday you sit down and begin revealing everything. doesn’t matter if you have a party to attend to, you will be gossiping at the party or leaving early to have it at home. you could literally be having a shower and reo would join, seated atop the toilet seat whilst rambling and you’d listen intently.

nothing comes in between your gossip sessions!!! don't even think about interrupting. nagi is more than welcome to join, he knows quite a bit of tea himself so ;) the more the merrier in his case.

chigiri, bachira, and isagi are also all-time favourites. ALL THREE of them are nosy ass fuckers and cannot keep their mouths shut.

it’s like the second you walk into his apartment, he’s giving you a kiss in greeting before sitting you down on the couch, hands and legs pressed together and he begins with ‘i have more to tell you about otoya and his fling’.

and you immediately throw your stuff away and lean into his couch, ready to listen.

speaking of parties, you would absolutely be that couple. the ones who always look flawless and will never be caught lacking !!!!!!!

he’s so proud to be able to walk by your side; that he’s the one who gets to hold you and show you off. so proud in fact, that he never likes to stray too far from you. 

could be doing shots with bachira and stumbles around to find you when he’s done. you have the time of your life filming him in this drunken state. 

definitely had the ‘only my partner is allowed to touch me’ conversation with him once. 

reo is the definition of all five love languages, there is not one of them that he does not like - words of affirmation? absolutely. a must. . physical touch? he’s not ashamed to be needy. gift giving? who do you think he is? acts of service? loves doing things for you and vice versa. quality time? can never get enough of it. 

so yeah. sticking to his ‘thing’ about being a chameleon, he’s very adaptable and willing to listen to your needs.

(i’m going to throttle him he is so perfect)

also reo just really really adores taking care of you- those he loves in general too, but especially you because you’re at the top of his list of favourite people (suck it, nagi)

takes care of you and loves doing so too. whenever you’re sick, he’s at your beck and call 24/7. if he has a meeting or practice to attend, you have to literally force him out of the apartment, threatening him to go but as soon as he returns, he’s back at your side, probably came back with a bunch of things for you as well.

if you take care of him though? goodness he’s ready to pop the question even though you’ve never even discussed marriage.

suddenly cough medicine is a lot easier to drink if you’re the one offering it to him, and the soup you made him must have super healing properties because he thinks he can jump up and run a few hundred laps (goodness reo, please, sit your ass back down and rest). 

OKAY HEAR ME OUT ON THIS ONE: reo never learnt how to drive because he’s always had a chauffeur, but since dating you, he’s had to get a licence lMFAOOOO let you pick out his car too xoxo such a considerate boyfriend 😣

he suggested as a joke to get a personalised number plate and even though he was clearly goofing around to make you laugh, you couldn’t help but sense there was some sort of truth in his statement… just a slither.

also reo’s definitely the slow-dance in the living room kind of guy like… not a lot can change my mind on this. 

you could literally be putting away the dishes and he’d drag you by the wrist into the living room- he bought a vinyl player just so he could turn on some romantic songs and slow dance with the love of his life. 

he’s not a good dancer btw.

HE LOVES SHOPPING WITH YOU. 1000/10 BOYFRIEND TO GO SHOPPING WITH, doesn’t mind being your personal coathanger when browsing and also doesn’t mind carrying any bags you may have. 

it’s cause reo loves shopping too. loves it even more if you think about him whilst shopping. you could go buy some home appliances and if you returned with the silliest hat with bunny ears and he’d wear it for the next few hours.

return with (expensive) necklaces of each other’s initials and reo is never taking his off, proud to wear the letter of your name around his neck at all times.

takes it off during practice though because if he broke it then goodness is he going to go emo. 

no date with him is a boring date! partly because he’s a considerate and thoughtful person who plans everything out, but also because reo’s company is a fun one to have. every moment with him is fun (except when he’s checking his stocks. you’re kinda left to just wait for him to finish).

(that’s also an ick- that he checks his stocks on dates but whatever 😒he still gives you attention though so it’s fine)

adores going out and staying in! prefers going out though just so he can show you off but also hates going out because he loves to see you dressed up only for him. he’s a perfect paradox.

speaking of staying in, off days with reo are very domestic. you both promise to use this as a work-free day, reo can’t check his business statistics or stock patterns and you’re not allowed to answer any calls or emails. he is allowed to workout though and you have quite a bit of fun blatantly admiring him. you're too comfortable with each other at this stage to get embarrassed.

but other than that, the day is just spent lounging around and doing nothing- a nice reset from how hectic both your lives are.

“there are still some chocolate chips left. wanna snack?” you ask once you put a tray of cookies in the oven, going over to see how many pieces were remaining in the bag.

reo hums, wrapping his arms around your figure, his sturdy chest meeting your back as he plays with the fabric of your shirt. “sure. might as well finish them.”

“bet you can’t catch 10 in a row with your mouth.”

“okay. bet.”

he ends up catching 12 successfully and the rest of the waiting time is spent with you throwing chips into his mouth. there’s a heap of chocolate on the floor but neither of you really mind when the home is warmed with laughter and giggles.

when you wait for the cookies to cool, you somehow end up on the counter with reo in between your legs, holding you closely to him whilst making out to pass the time. the cookies are cold when you get to them.

reo’s jealous. like very jealous. and a little (lot) possessive - do you see the way he is with nagi… c’mon. 

but it comes from a place of good intentions, he's genuinely just in disbelief that he managed to bag someone like you (as if he's not a one in a million too)

he’s very into hickies ;> doesn’t matter if it’s on you or on him, it feeds into his possessiveness all the same. ok next headcanon. 

reo’s got a little bit of an ego to him (he’s a leo. ofc he does) so he secretly loves it when people fawn over him, but not just exclusively you. 

which has been the cause for quite a bit of arguments between you where you were uncomfortable because of the way someone was treating reo and he’d dismiss your concerns, stubbornly rooted in the belief that you knew that you were different. definitely thinks that his love and adoration for you makes it obvious that you’ll always be superior to anyone else. which, you are, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when you don’t see him brush off anyone.

genuinely doesn’t see the issue with this, even when the media is being invasive and speculating too much.

it’s loud.

it’s so very loud, tormenting you as the hurricane of your thoughts can’t seem to quiet down, rattling even stronger as you keep scrolling through the ‘#reo mikage’ tag that was currently trending. each time you see the pictures, your chest constricts even more.

unbelievable how a bunch of pixels could have this much of an effect over you. how your phone mockingly presents several photos of reo and one of japan’s golden models spending time together at multiple events, the headlines only worsening rising assumptions. she’s all over him in each photo, whether it be decked out in formal gear at a promotional event, after a dior runway where reo was invited backstage by the creative director, or- most recently, at a brunch he was invited to by blue lock friends, she seems to love invading his personal space.

the worst part is that he doesn’t seem bothered at all by it.

you know reo and you know how much he valued your presence in his life. you know that before each event, he asked you how his outfit looked and if you approved. before each event, he threw a mini-tantrum over you're inability to accompany him to each one. that he only stopped whining when you promised that you’d be waiting for him after each one.

but you don't know the feeling of betrayal that settles in your gut and it terrifies you.

“y/n?” comes a voice from down the hallway, one that causes your breath to hitch in your throat, all words lodging themselves in your windpipe. reo’s head appears from behind the bedroom door frame and he smiles widely upon seeing you, immediately walking over so he could lean down and place a kiss on your forehead.

it doesn’t do much to stop the tornado in your brain. 

“are we going to watch the latest episode or what?” asks the purple-haired, whose doe eyes are looking at you so innocently- so lovingly. 

“we are,” you whisper, voice slightly broken and ragged, turmoil settling itself crystal clear in the heavy air of your shared bedroom. 

reo notices your pained tone and immediately looks at you with concern gleaming in his eyes. “what’s wrong?” 

so innocent. so ignorant. you wonder if it was appropriate to shatter his purity. but a relationship rooted in honesty will have more positives than negatives and even if it seems like being open with him will be detrimental, you should fix the cracks now before it worsens; splits apart too much to the point of it being unfixable. 

“pictures of you and a model are circulating online,” you mutter, scouring through what’s left of your sanity to express what you’re feeling, but you can tell you’re already failing through the perplexed scrunch of his eyebrows. “and y’know, it just got me-”

“-why are you looking at them?”

you flinch at his defensiveness. “wh-what?”

“you know that they’re just some pictures, don’t you? it’s not that big of a deal.”

something’s telling you that this conversation won’t progress how you want it to so you give up, dropping your shoulders in defeat. “okay, sure.”

he’s not happy with your response. “what? what did i do?”

“it just feels so… horrible looking at these,” you mutter, dragging a hand over your face. “whatever. let’s just go watch the episode or something.”

“let’s not. are you seriously pissed right now? over some photos of me and someone else? i didn’t think you’d be this insecure.”

“i’m not insecure!”

“yes you are! you’re getting angry and upset over me being seen with someone else as if you know they’re nothing more than just a friend! am i not allowed to hangout and be seen with whoever i want?”

“it’s not a matter of being seen with them, reo! it’s about how okay you seem being that close with someone! she’s practically all up in your personal space and you’re okay with it!”

“why wouldn’t i be okay with it? you’re the only person i actually care about for it to mean something.”

“that’s not how it works!” you exclaim abruptly, curling your hands into fists. “it’s so disrespectful seeing this, it’s clear that she has no respect for our relationship and our status as a couple, can’t you see?”

“why should we care what she thinks? everyone else knows. ‘s all that matters.”

“sure, but she’s actively trying to pursue you! and you’re not doing anything to solidify any boundaries against it! do you know how demeaning that feels? especially against someone who is so well-known by your fans too.”

reo narrows his eyes. “so this is a conversation about insecurity-”

“you’re not listening to me!” you cut him off, trying to maintain your composure despite the way anger and frustration brewed freely in your stomach, threatening to spill over. “i’m not insecure! i’m upset because you’re not valuing our relationship publicly, and as a result, it’s stirring up so many unsolicited assumptions online!” 

“you shouldn’t care about them because i only have eyes for you, fuck what the internet is saying.”

“no- that’s,” you ball your fists even tighter, “that’s not the solution to this problem!” 

“then maybe you should just get over it!”

“is asking you to be a little more assertive about brushing off people like this too much?”

“it’s natural, y/n! these people just want me for my fame and reputation! there’s no point brushing them off when they’ll just continue this shit,” there’s a hint of insincerity in his tone, and from the way he’s evading your request makes your stomach churn.

rubbing your temples, you decide to surrender. “fine. if you just want people to fawn over you then they can. just, leave me out of the picture.”

swiftly standing up from where you were seated on the bed, you’re even faster brushing past the purple-haired, shutting the door behind you with a noncommittal slam.

realisation pours over him like cold water and he’s awoken into action. immediately, he turns to rip open the door and rushes into the hallway, panicked as fear strikes him like a lightning bolt. it’s like the rational side of him had finally woken up after a night of dormancy and he curses himself for its horrible timing as he prays he can make it to stop you in time. 

reo feels stupid. so, so stupid.

you’re in the living room already when he catches up, phone in hand as you quickly try to make a beeline for your shoes before your boyfriend can stop you.

unfortunately for you, you’re too ambitious, and reo manages to step in front of you, hindering your exit. the anxiety he’s feeling is expressed clearly in his eyes and devastation is plastered all over his face, a sight that makes you stop in your tracks. 

“where are you going?” he whimpers, no louder than a whisper.

you glance down at your phone to see the time. 10:41. “away. i need to cool my head.” 

“you can do that here, can’t you?” he’s trying to sound sensible, really, he is, but the fear of losing you is too strong that his voice cracks. “i’m sorry, i’m really sorry, i was being stupid and i wasn’t listening to you, i realise that now-”

“-it’s too late for that,” you grumble, trying to sneak past him only to be stopped by a hand on your shoulder, one that you brush off. “don’t touch me!”

only a few, simple words yet they hurt reo like spears to his heart. his palms itch with the need to hold you because being able to feel you would remind him that you’re here, that you haven’t left just yet. that reo still has a chance to fix the mess he just created.

“i’m sorry, i’m really sorry, you're right.”

you probably don’t want to hear it, but he grovels nonetheless, contracting his fingers to stop them from reaching out to you. he doesn’t want to make you feel even more disrespected than he already has tonight, especially when you so clearly stated that you didn’t want to be touched.

“don’t go,” the purple-haired pleads weakly. “we can figure this out.”

“so now you want to talk about it?” you ask, all ounce of pettiness you had left melting into your tone. you to cross your arms. “i’m tired reo, and i need some time.”

“i’ll give you time, space, whatever you need, just please don’t leave.”

the penthouse is so quite and devoid of its usual vibrancy, the one that your relationship brings to the home.

reo doesn't want to think about what the place would be like if you leave. he doesn't want to think about what his life would be like if you leave, so he repeats 'please' over and over again, scrambled with some apologies here and there as he leans closer to you.

the urge to be as close as you'll allow him is irresistible.

the breath you exhale is shaky and you can’t look him in the eye as you think about what to do next, gnawing your lip in contemplation. what captures your attention is the feeling of his fingers ghosting over your hands, causing you to glance back at him with a surprised expression.

traces of love frame his expression and he’s looking at you like he’s savouring this moment, as if it'll be his last few with you, but he can only plead and pray that that's not the case. desperately, he succumbs to the force of his affection for you with the light thud of bone meeting floor. it’s a sound that makes you cringe briefly before reo experimentally takes your hands in his, waiting for a reaction. 

there is none.

so he holds on to you like a lifeline and your resolve crumbles, fury and irritation melting away a lot quicker than you would have liked it to. it’s ridiculous what reo’s capable of.

“stay,” pleads the purple-haired, resting his forehead in your hands as he tightens his grip. “please.”

in front of you is a man on his knees. not just any man, but a world-class soccer player who came from 24k gold, real diamonds, and an unfathomable amount of trust funds. yet, something's telling you that he's willing to give it all up for you.

“reo,” your call of his name is broken and entirely wobbly, but he looks up at you nonetheless, eye shining as he waits for your next move. waits for either a strike of the palm or an affectionate kiss, both of which he’d readily accept. 

neither happen as you sink down to be eye-level with him, hoping to help him stand up but like a tidal wave, he consumes you, wrapping an arm around your waist with a strength that indicated he had no intention of letting up. “reo,” you delicately repeat, holding yours and his weight up with one hand whilst the other goes to play with his hair. “i’ll stay.”

the sigh of relief that he releases causes his whole body to shudder. “thank you,” he whispers.

you’ll talk about your problems soon, but for now? you'll continue holding him as he silently weeps, hands clutching your sides like you'll disappear and slip away from his grasp.

yeah. i think reo would be the type of person to get too overwhelmed by his own emotions and ego that he doesn’t consider the other party's feelings, but the moment that he realises he’s fucked up, it hits him like a truck. 

has abandonment issues (from nagi) that he never addressed and as a result, has a huge fear of losing you. 

that said, this argument ^ happened within the early stages of moving in together so this was probably the first big argument that really established how important communication is. sure reo may be confident and assured, but he’s self-aware and more than willing to change and constantly better himself, especially if it’s for you.

back to your regularly scheduled hc, reo doesn’t spend a lot of time on his phone, so he’s not very active on social media. he’s too busy attending to his stocks, reading business books, and spending time with you to care about the internet, so a lot of drama that circulates around online doesn’t reach him until two weeks later.

not that he cares LOL.

speaking of social media, here's what his private account looks like!

yourlocalfinancebroreo close up that the love of my life took

yn: smash ╰┈➤ epicgamerseishiroooh pls no horniness on the priv ╰┈➤ yourlocalfinancebroreo hmu cutie xx ╰┈➤ epicgamerseishiroooh guys pls ╰┈➤ yn nagi what the 😭😭

OH AND he’s so interested in all of your interests. listens intently and rambles passionately, he truly is just perfect :( 

anyways, encourages anything you want to do and is often the one who helps you make the terrifying jump. reo supports you so much in your day-to-day and whatever achievements you accomplish, no matter how big or small, he wants to hear about it from you.

never shy away from being honest with him!!!!

also because the support you show him makes him so happy every time. whether it’s showing up to a soccer match and cheering him on to dropping off some tea and a platter of fruit when he’s stuck in front of his monitor for too long looking at big numbers, he wants to reciprocate this energy and make sure you know just how special you make him feel.

the whole world could be praising him yet none of it could compare to when you do it.

y/n and me vs the world forever type of beat when it comes to you two. 

yeah. i think that’s all i have for now. so, to sum it up: PERFECT, INCREDIBLE, AMAZING, ALL YOU COULD EVER ASK FOR boyfriend. give it up for mikage reo everyone <3

[lixzey]

Hey! Maybe you could write Remus Lupin x Fem Reader seven minutes in heaven fluff;)

a/n: This is the longest work i've ever written, so I hope you enjoy it! Very special thanks to @lilmaymayy for betaing this 🫶

word count: 7.2k

seven minutes to forever

The Gryffindor common room was ablaze with excitement as the Gryffindors celebrated their recent Quidditch victory against Slytherin. Waterloo by ABBA blared from the record player—courtesy of your best friend, Lily Evans. There were streamers of red and gold, along with a large banner with the words Gryffindor painted in red. There was a large table with sandwiches, cakes, pasties, and Honeydukes sweets, as well as a huge bowl of very suspicious-looking punch along with bottles of butterbeer and firewhiskey scattered around.

James Potter, the star Quidditch captain, was being hoisted onto the shoulders of his teammates as they chanted his name. Among the crowd, you spotted Sirius Black doing a little victory dance, while Peter Pettigrew was enthusiastically shovelling food onto his plate, and Remus Lupin was leaning against the wall with a small smile on his face, clearly enjoying the sight of his friends.

You turned your attention back to your friends, who danced along to the beat of the song. You couldn’t help but smile at the sight of your friends enjoying the night.

“Having fun, Y/n/n?” Lily asked as she twirled around.

“I am,” you chuckled, swaying your hips to the beat.

“You’re rocking that skirt, Y/n.” Marlene complimented.

You playfully rolled your eyes as you tugged on your skirt, still wondering how you ended up being coerced into wearing a form-fitting black leather skirt from Mary’s closet. “It’s awfully short, and it keeps riding up my thighs.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/n!” Mary chastised, swatting your hands away from the hem of the skirt. “You have the hips for it, and it makes your arse look good.”

You laughed and shook your head, knowing there was no arguing with Mary when it came to fashion. “Well, if you say so-” You were cut off by a tap on your shoulder.

“Hey, pretty girl.” 

You rolled your eyes at the sight of Sirius Black trying to flirt with you. Sirius Black, the notorious ladies’ man and troublemaker, had always had a way of getting under your skin. His cocky smile and arrogance made you want to roll your eyes and give him a piece of your mind every time he came near you.

"Seriously, Black, can't you give it a rest?" you snapped, crossing your arms and turning away from him.

“But come on, love, you can't deny that I'm the most charming bloke around,” Sirius said, flashing his signature grin.

Rolling your eyes again, you huffed, "Charming? More like insufferable. I've had enough of your sorry excuse for compliments.”

Sirius chuckled, unbothered by your rejection. “I'll have you know that I can be quite serious when the situation calls for it.”

You scoffed. “The only thing serious about you is your name. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than listen to your nonsense.”

With that, you turned on your heel and walked away, your friends trailing behind you.

“What the fuck was that, Y/n?” Mary asked with a raised brow.

“What? It’s not like I haven’t turned him down before.”

Mary scoffed. “Don’t tell me you still believe in finding your soulmate.”

You raised a brow at Mary. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“Well, I just don’t believe in that fairy-tale rubbish. Soulmates and true love—it's all a load of nonsense if you ask me,” Mary replied, shaking her head. “I just don't see how one person can be destined for another. There are billions of people in the world; it seems impossible that there's just one person meant for each of us.”

“Mary’s right,” Lily agreed. “And even if soulmates do exist, how do you know you'll ever find yours?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know; I just think there’s someone out there for everyone. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I like to believe in the idea of soulmates and true love. It gives me hope, you know?” 

“Come on, Y/n, be real. When the hell are you going to find the one if you keep turning down every guy who tries to ask you out?” Lily asked with an exasperated sigh.

You rolled your eyes, turning to face the redhead. “I don’t know; maybe when sparks fly?” 

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and when you turned to look, sparks were flying literally out of the record player. Remus Lupin stood there frozen, his cheeks flushing from all the unwanted attention on him.

Your eyes locked into his; you felt as if time slowed down around you and everyone else just faded from view.

“What the bloody hell happened, Moony?” James Potter’s voice rang out, snapping you out of your trance.

“N-Nothing, I-I’ve just pulled the needle too early.” Remus stumbled on his words, his eyes not leaving yours.

You couldn’t help but chuckle at Remus’ embarrassment, but you couldn’t deny the flutter of butterflies in your stomach. As the chaos of the common room continued, you found yourself stealing glances at Remus, who had turned back to the record player to fix the problem.

“Come on, everybody! Let’s play seven minutes in heaven!” Sirius announced, trying to redirect the attention away from Remus.

You found yourself being tugged along by Lily, who insisted that you join in on the fun.

“Come on, Y/n, it’ll be a laugh! Plus, who knows, you might end up with your soulmate in the closet.” Lily teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, shut it, Evans.” You groaned inwardly, not liking the idea of being locked in a closet with someone for seven minutes, but nonetheless, you followed your friends into the centre of the room, where an empty firewhiskey bottle was set up in the middle of a circle.

“Okay, so whoever the neck and the base of the bottle stops at has to spend seven minutes in the broom closet,” Sirius explained, pointing to the closet near the portrait hole. “You go first, Prongs,” Sirius said, passing the bottle to James with a smirk.

James spun the bottle, and it miraculously landed on Lily, which made her scowl and cross her arms over her chest. “I am not getting in that closet with you, Potter.”

“Come on, Evans, I didn’t make rules.”

“Go on, Lils,” you urged, a sly smirk plastered on your lips. “Rules are rules.”

Lily’s scowl deepened as she glared at you. “Fine.” Lily stomped towards the closet, James trailing behind her with a wide grin while the rest burst into a fit of giggles and cheers—including you, knowing that Lily would hex James into the next century if he tried anything.

A little while later, James came out of the closet rubbing his cheek an effect you know so well—Lily had hit him with stinging hexes.

“You alright?” Marlene asked, trying not to laugh at the look on Lily’s face as she sat between the two of you.

“Shut up.” Lily hissed, rolling her eyes. “Potter called me carrot top!” 

“Alright, who’s next?” Sirius asked, trying to get the game going by spinning the bottle again. Your eyes followed the bottle as it spun around, anxiously waiting to see whether you were the next victim or not. This time it landed on you, and the other side was at Remus.

“My, my, my! Look who we have next!” Sirius announced loudly.

When the realisation set in that you would have to spend seven minutes with Remus Lupin in a small, hot, cramped closet, your cheeks flushed. Remus’s face began to match yours as the rest of the boys began to cheer—the girls even joining in—Lily had the same sly smirk you had just minutes ago.

“Go on, Y/n/n,” Lily urged, pushing you to stand. From the corner of your eye, you saw Remus stand up with a defeated sigh and make his way to you while the rest of the Marauders teased him.

Remus looked at you with an apologetic smile, his hand out, ready to help you up. You looked from your friends to the group and finally up to Remus, your eyes meeting his. Remus’ brown hair framed his face perfectly; he had long silver scars littering his face down to his neck, but he still looked as handsome as ever.

Remus crouched down beside you, his lips a few inches away from your ear, his hand out for you to take. “We don't have to do this, you know? We can just sit back down and let someone else-”

“No, no, it's alright, let’s do this”. You whispered back, taking his warm hand into yours. Everyone started to cheer, with your friends and the Marauders being the loudest of the lot. The two of you made your way into the closet.

“Go get some, Moony!” James laughed, his hands mimicking two people kissing, making Remus groan.

“Only seven minutes, love birds; use them wisely!” Sirius teased as you and Remus stepped inside. The moment the door shut, the two of you were plunged into darkness. You realised how small this closet really was; you were an inch away from being chest-to-chest with Remus.

You could feel Remus shifting in front of you, the air around you becoming warm with the close proximity. You tried to ignore the sight of his face in the dim lighting—chiseled jawline, strong nose, and brown eyes. Why the bloody hell did he have to be so handsome?

“Is it hot in here?” Remus asked, breaking the silence between the two of you as he fanned himself with his hand before fanning you as well. “Are you hot? I mean, you are hot-” You couldn’t help but laugh at what Remus had just said. Although you couldn’t see it, you knew his eyes had widened.

“S-sorry, I-I mean….” Remus stammered. The sound of your giggles made his cheeks feel warm. “I’m not exactly the smoothest bloke out here.” He chuckled nervously.

“Remus, it’s alright; I mean, it is a little stuffy in here.” you assured him, patting him on the shoulder.

“Yeah, it is,” Remus agreed before reaching into his pocket, pulling out his wand, and muttering, “Lumos.”

The light filled the small space and made you see the whole closet for the first time. If it were anyone else, you’d be panicking right now, but being with Remus didn’t feel as nerve-wracking.

“Sorry about this, Y/n,” Remus mumbled. “I didn’t think you would have wanted to be stuck in a closet with me.”

You chuckled, feeling heat rising to your cheeks. “It's fine, Remus. I know it's all just a game.”

“Thanks for coming with me here, I-“ Remus gulped, “I appreciate it.”

You raised a brow at him, a coy smile playing on your lips. “Remus, do you even know how many girls are wishing to be in my place right now? Merlin, they even call you the Casanova of Gryffindor tower!” 

“Okay,” Remus began to relax, now laughing with you. “But that's just because I'm nice—nice to girls who just so happen to find me cute. Plus, I mean,” he breathed. “It's not like I'd pursue anything with them.”

You cock a brow, your teasing smile only growing as he rushes to defend, “I mean—they're all nice right back to me, but—I just have my eyes on someone else.”

You felt your heart skip a beat at Remus’ words. “Someone else, huh? Who could that be?” 

“It’s just...” Remus hesitated, running his hand through his hair nervously. “I just feel like soulmates exist, you know? Maybe it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. I want to believe that there’s someone out there for me. Someone who gets me Someone who makes me feel... complete.”

Your heart pounded in your chest, and your mind was racing with questions. Were you just reading into things too much? Or was Remus trying to tell you something?

“I don’t think it’s stupid at all, Remus,” you said, your voice soft.

“I believe in soulmates too.” Remus looked up at you, surprised.  “You do?” 

You nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. But before you could utter another word, there was a harsh bang against the closet door, interrupting your thoughts.

“I don't hear any kissing in that closet! Come on, you guys, don't be boring! You have three minutes left!” James’ voice echoed, muffled by the closet door.

You and Remus exchanged a glance before chuckling and shaking your heads.

“You know we don't have to do anything, right? I would never want to pressure you into anything, wizard’s honour,” Remus assured, raising a hand.

You smiled softly at his reassurance. “Eh, it sounds like they want a show. Who are we to deny them of it?” Your cheeks begin to flush, your heart pounding inside of your chest. But his lack of response made you nervous about the forwardness of your comment.

“Maybe we could just...” you gulped. “Make it seem like it.” Remus’ brows knitted in confusion. “You know, just make sounds to make them think,” you explained, hoping he'd understand.

Remus nodded, the confusion leaving his expression. “Right, that's a good idea.”

“Follow my lead.” You chuckled, winking at him.

Remus smirked. “Alright, take the stage.”

Your eyes twinkled with mischief before you banged on the closet door and let out a loud moan. “Oh fuck, Remus!”

“Oh shit, Moony’s getting some!” Sirius’ voice rang out along with loud cheers from everyone else outside the broom closet.

Remus’ eyes widened, clearly not expecting that from you. You jerked your head at him, urging him to do the same.

Remus let out an exaggerated groan: “O-oh, yes, baby girl, so good!”

“Oh Merlin, yes, yes!” 

“Pinch me here,” Remus whispered, pointing to his neck. You obliged and pinched his neck lightly.

“Ouch! That hurt, baby girl!” Remus grunted. “You like it rough, huh, baby girl?”

“What in Merlin’s name are they doing?” Lily asked, horrified.

“They’re shagging, Evans; do try and catch up," Sirius said, mouth agape at the sounds coming from the closet.

The two of you continued to put on a performance, making kissing noises, grunts, thumping, and moaning from time to time.

And then, before you knew it, the door was being flung open by Sirius. “Time's up! Come on, you two lovebirds.”

Remus shot up, his face flushed. The two of you had your foreheads pressed together, hands intertwined, and clothes dishevelled. It felt strangely right, like connecting with Remus was something you were meant to do. He pulled you up, and the two of you walked out, avoiding everyone’s gaze, which seemed to be snickering. As soon as the two of you sat down, everyone didn’t waste time teasing both of you as you sat down.

“Remus, you sly dog!” James laughed, clapping Remus on the back.

“Wow, that was intense!” Peter chuckled, looking at you and Remus.

“Yeah, we thought the two of you had gotten lost in there,” Sirius added with a smirk.

“You slag, Y/n L/n!” Mary teased.

“Well, that was quite the show!” Marlene teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“I can’t believe you shagged Remus Lupin in a broom closet!” Lily rolled her eyes, but there was a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

You let out a groan and buried your face in your hands in embarrassment. “Can we not talk about this anymore? Move on to the next ones, please!”

“There will be no next, Miss L/n.” A voice said, and everyone in the room fell quiet. You lifted your head from your hands to see Professor McGonagall.

The excited chatter turned to hushed whispers. Everyone in the circle quickly stood up, some nearly toppling over because of the alcohol they consumed.

“This game ends now. If there are any further disruptions, there will be consequences. Is that clear?”

“We were just having some fun, Minnie,” Sirius explained, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

“Fun is one thing, but disrupting the entire Gryffindor tower is another. I suggest you all clean up this mess and head off to bed,” Professor McGonagall ordered, her stern gaze sweeping over the room.

The room was quickly cleared of food, drinks, and decorations as everyone began to leave, grumbling and complaining about their fun being ruined. You helped Lily, Mary, and Marlene gather the streamers and discarded plates.

“Come on, Y/n/n, let’s head up,” Lily said, nudging you with her elbow. “I doubt Professor McGonagall is done giving her lecture for the night.”

 “Yeah, that was a bit reckless, don’t you think?” Marlene added.

 You sighed, feeling guilty for being a part of the chaos that had ensued. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, guys.”

“It’s okay; it was all good fun,” Mary assured

You nodded, trying to shake off the lingering embarrassment from the game and the moment you had shared with Remus.

“You sure? You’ve been quiet since you and Remus came out of the closet,” Lily teased, raising a suggestive eyebrow.

 “Oh, shove off, Evans.” You rolled your eyes, playfully shoving her.

The four of you made your way up to the girls' dormitory, still reeling from tonight’s high, when someone called from behind you. You looked back only to see Remus jogging up towards you. You looked back at your friends, who were smirking at you before they stepped inside the dormitories—but you knew that they’d be listening from behind the door.

“Uh, hi.” Remus smiled sheepishly.

“Hey, Remus. What's up?” you asked, trying to act unsurprised but feeling the butterflies in your stomach were saying otherwise.

Remus stopped in front of you, nervously scratching the back of his neck. “Hey, Y/n. I just wanted to say that I had a great time with you, uh, in the closet. I mean, we made a great team, putting on that show. And, uh, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to do it again? Not the closet, of course, but... hang out, I mean.” He stumbled over his words, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

You couldn't help but smile at his awkwardness, feeling a rush of warmth at the thought of spending more time with him. “I'd like that, Remus. I had a good time too,” you replied, feeling a strange flutter in your stomach.

“Great!” Remus grinned, looking relieved. “Um, maybe we could, I don't know, go for a walk by the lake or something? If you want to, that is.”

Before you could answer his question, the door swung open, revealing Lily, Marlene, and Mary peeking out from behind.

“Time to hit the hay, lovebirds!” Mary interrupted, a sly smirk playing on her lips.

Remus chuckled, trying not to be too embarrassed in front of your friends. “Uh, so what do you say?”

“A walk by the lake sounds wonderful, Remus. I’d love to.”

“Great, it’s a date then,” Remus replied, a smile lighting his face. I’ll see you tomorrow at breakfast, Y/n?” 

“Yes, definitely; I’ll see you then.”

You turned to walk up to your friends before giving Remus one last look. “Good night, Remus.” You smiled, leaning against the doorframe, your friends grinning behind you.

Remus smiled, his cheeks flushing pink. “Good night, Y/n.”

As soon as you step inside, your friends start to squeal.

“Okay, is it possible for you guys to not embarrass the living daylights out of me?” You growled with a mock glare, trying to hide the smile you couldn’t fight as you stepped inside the bathroom to get ready for bed.

“I can’t believe it!” Lily said, jumping up and down in excitement. “You and Remus, a walk by the lake—it's like something out of a romance novel!” 

“Okay, okay, simmer down,” you said, rolling your eyes. “It’s not like it’s a date or anything."

"Yeah, right, we’ve never seen you smile like that before,” Lily teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

“It was just a walk by the lake, nothing special,” you insisted, shrugging your shoulders.

“Sure, sure,” Marlene said, rolling her eyes playfully.

“I hope he knows how lucky he is,” Mary added with a dreamy look.

“Should I go down and give him some pointers?” Marlene teased, earning a playful slap on the arm from Lily.

“You guys are insufferable, you know that?” You groaned, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

“Don’t pretend like you aren’t excited, Y/n,” Lily said with a wry smile.

“Fine, maybe I am a little excited about it,” you admitted, unable to stop a small smile from tugging at your lips.

“You should be, after all of what happened in the closet,” Marlene teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, shut it. I’m going to bed before you all drive me crazy,” you groaned, rolling your eyes.

“Goodnight, lovergirl!” Lily called after you with a laugh as you climbed into bed, unable to stop a smile from spreading across your face.

As you settled into bed, you couldn’t stop thinking about the way Remus had looked at you, the warmth in his eyes, and the nervousness in his voice. You knew there was something there—something deep and unspoken, something that made you feel more alive than you had in a long time.

Meanwhile, Remus stood at the top of the staircase, staring at the door to the girls’ dormitories, a huge smile plastered on his facele.

“Oi, Moony! What are you smiling about, you lunatic?” James asked, approaching Remus with a confused look, Sirius and Peter trailing behind him.

"Nothing; I, uh, just had a good night tonight,” Remus replied with a shy smile. “I, uh, asked Y/n out on a walk by the lake tomorrow.”

James grinned, clapping Remus on the back. “That's great, mate!” James chuckled. “Finally decided to make a move, huh?”

Remus blushed and shrugged, feeling embarrassed. “I just had a really great time with her tonight, and I want to get to know her better,” he admitted.

“You've got it bad, mate,” Peter teased. “You’re already pining for her!”

“I wasn’t pining, I just...” Remus trailed off with a blush.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, Moony,” Sirius chuckled, giving him a nudge.

“I’m happy for you, mate. I hope it goes well.” James smiled, giving Remus a pat on the shoulder.

“Thanks, Prongs,” Remus said, feeling grateful for his friend’s support.

“I’m happy for you too, Moony.” Peter smiled, clapping him on the back.

“What about you, Pads?” James asked, raising an eyebrow at Sirius, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, I’m happy for you, Moons. But I’m the one that should be-” 

“Okay Pads!” James said, clapping a hand over Sirius’ mouth. “You’re happy for Moony!”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you loud and clear,” Sirius grumbled, playfully shoving James' hand away. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun too, does it?”

Remus laughed, feeling grateful for his friends and excited for his date with you. He couldn’t deny that there was something special about you—something that made his heart race and his palms sweat. Maybe, just maybe, you were the one he had been waiting for all along.

Maybe now he has somebody to love.

Surprisingly, Remus struggled to go to sleep that night; his smile was too wide and his dreams too big to relax and fall asleep. But eventually, his thoughts calmed down to imagining what the morning would bring, what her hair would look like, what she would wear, and what he'd say to her in class, finally allowing him to go to sleep.

The light slowly crept through the curtains of your four-poster bed, sunlight casting a warm glow over your face. You could hear loud shuffling from outside and stop at your bedside, the bed dipping down.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty!” Mary’s loud singsong voice echoed in your ears, making you groan in annoyance.

You turned your back at her, covering your head with your pillow. “Leave me alone,” you mumbled, still bleary-eyed.

“Get up, Y/n/n! We’re going to be late for breakfast!” Lily urged you, shaking your shoulder and yanking the pillow away from your head.

Groaning in protest, you reluctantly sit up and rub your eyes. “Fine, fine, I’m up.”

“Hurry up, don’t you want to see your soulmate at breakfast?” Lily teased, making Mary and Marlene snicker.

At the comment, your eyes popped open, meeting her knowing stare, eventually getting shy under her gaze, hiding your face in the pillow. She was right, so, albeit slowly, you pulled yourself up, dragging your feet to the bathroom to start getting ready.

You showered, washed, combed and dried your hair, brushed your teeth, and got dressed. You walked out of the bathroom to find your friends waiting for you, all of them giving you sly smirks as you walked towards them.

“What do you all have up your sleeves?” You asked, eyeing them suspiciously.

"Nothing; we’re just excited for you!” Lily said with a playful wink.

“Oh, please,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Keep it down, you lot.” 

With your lips glossed, your long hair braided to the side, and your uniform smoothed out, you grabbed your bag and followed your friends out of the common room and down the spiral staircase to the Great Hall for breakfast.

You made your way down to the Great Hall with your friends, Mary and Marlene, linking arms while you walked alongside Lily, chatting and laughing as you made your way to the Gryffindor table.

As you entered the hall, your eyes scanned the room and landed on Remus, who was sitting with his friends. Remus glanced up at you and met your eyes, a smile spreading across his face. You felt a rush of warmth in your chest as you returned his smile.

From your fleeting glance, you were still able to see his dark brown curls perfectly framing his chiseled face. Merlin he was cute. A small smile formed as you hurried to your usual seat beside Lily, who was already looking between you and Remus, a tease on the tip of her tongue. But with your averting gaze and soft sigh as you began to load your plate, she swallowed any comment down with the flush of her pumpkin juice.

In Remus’ eyes, you couldn't look more beautiful. Your hair was vibrant and bouncing just like you, and you looked effortlessly beautiful, essentially strutting to your seat beside Lily after catching his stare.

“Mate, you're going to burn holes into her head if you keep staring.” James laughed, chewing on his first sausage of the morning.

“Oh, piss off, you hypocrite! You’re acting like you weren't staring at Lily just the same.” Remus scowled, lightly pushing James’ elbow off the table but laughing hard as it threw him off balance, Prongs’ fighting to stay on his seat, and the boys fighting to keep their boisterous laughter down.

“You’re looking at her like she took the moon out of the sky.” Peter pointed out as he shovelled some eggs into his mouth.

��You don’t understand; she’s just different,” Remus mumbled, feeling a warm flush spread across his cheeks.

“Oi, quit ogling at her. Stop being such a hopeless romantic and eat your eggs.” Sirius smirked, pushing the plate of eggs in front of him.

“Alright, back off, lads,” James intervened, swatting Sirius and Peter and grabbing a piece of toast. “He's nervous. A bloke can only handle so much. It’s not everyday that Moony is out of his wits.” Taking a bite of his toast, a sly smile crossed his lips as he watched the interaction from the corner of his eye.

“Oh, for Merlin’s sake, can we just have breakfast in peace?” Remus groaned, taking a bite of his toast.

James chuckled, knowing that he had hit a spot. “Alright, Remus, just relax. You don't want to scare her off before you even get the chance to talk to her properly.”

“You think I don't know that?” Remus hissed, feeling his cheeks heat up even more.

“Just play it cool, mate. You'll be fine,” Sirius reassured, clapping Remus on the back.

“Yeah, just be yourself, and she'll fall for you in no time.” Peter added.

Remus sighed, trying to ignore the butterflies that were dancing in his stomach. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this nervous around a girl, and it was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating.

“Now,” James chuckled. “Eat the bloody eggs, Moony. We don’t want a cranky werewolf, do we?”

Remus couldn’t help but laugh, his cheeks still flushed. “Alright, alright,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Wanker.”

This caught the eyes of none other than Y/n, who was already staring at Remus, only starting to smile seeing him so in his element, laughing happily with his friends, hiding his blushing cheeks behind his scarred hand.

As you ate your breakfast, you found it hard to keep your attention on your food. Your eyes kept drifting back to Remus. A small smile tugged at your lips as you watched the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed and the way he ran a hand through his hair when he blushed.

Feeling a warmth spread throughout your chest, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of excitement at the thought of your walk with Remus later that day. And the longer you looked at him, the more you felt butterflies in your stomach. You continued to sneak glances at him throughout breakfast, feeling your cheeks flush with warmth as he caught your eyes and smiled back at you. The moment felt surreal, but in the best way possible.

As breakfast came to an end, Remus stood up from the table, looking over at you with a warm smile. With a shy smile, Remus asked, “Can I, uh, walk you to class, Y/n?”

Your friends started giggling from behind you, making you flush in embarrassment, your cheeks nearly rivalling Lily's red hair. You turned to glare at them, only to see their smiles wide—wider than the Cheshire cat, if possible.

“Go on, give him an answer,” Mary urged, a teasing smirk on her lips.

Remus shifted nervously as he waited for your response. You turned back to him and nodded. “I’d like that, Remus.”

Remus smiled, relieved at your response. “Great.” He extended his hand to you. “Shall we?”

You nodded, throwing your bag over your shoulder before taking his hand to stand up. “See you later, girls.”

“Have fun, Y/n. Take your time!” Marlene called out, making you scowl and roll your eyes.

“Come on, Remus, let’s go.” You smiled, fighting the heat as it rose to your cheeks. You and Remus started to walk out of the bustling hall.

“Oi, lover boy!” James called out to Remus with a huge grin.

Remus groaned, refusing to look back at James. “Bugger off, Prongs!” 

You chuckled at his annoyance, his nose crinkled up, and his brows furrowing—which you find cute.

“Don’t forget protection!” Sirius yelled, laughing loudly.

Remus groaned even louder, his cheeks turning beet red, while you stifled a laugh.

“I’m going to kill them, as soon as they fall asleep.” he muttered, tugging at his scarf nervously.

You shook your head, laughing softly. “Don’t worry about them. They're just having fun.”

As you and Remus walked side by side on your way to your first class, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of comfort and contentment. The world around you seemed to fade away, and for that moment, it was just the two of you sharing each other’s company, and before you knew it, you had reached your classroom.

“Thanks for walking me, Remus,” you said with a warm smile. “I’ll see you later?”

Remus smiled back at you and said, “Yes, I’ll see you later.” He sighed contentedly as you stepped inside the classroom, feeling his heart thump loudly in his chest.

Remus turned away and walked to his respective class, still reeling from the sight of your smile, when someone laughed from behind him.

“There’s our good old-fashioned lover boy!”  Sirius laughed at the sight of Remus, looking like a lovesick puppy—well, like a lovesick wolf cub.

“Merlin, Moony, you look like a walking tomato,” James teased, ruffling his hair.

“Leave me alone,” Remus groaned, feeling his cheeks flush even more. “I can’t believe you guys! ”

“You’ve got it bad, Moony,” Peter grinned. “It’s written all over your face.”

The taunting and teasing continued all the way to their first class—History of Magic—and as Remus took his seat, he couldn’t help but feel excited for the walk with you later, wondering what he could do to make it special for you.

What about a picnic? That’s nice; she would like that.

Flowers—every girl loves flowers, right? Maybe I can stop by the greenhouse and pick some up for her. Wait, what flowers does she even like?

Remus sighed, slumping in his seat. Of course he wouldn’t know what her favourite flowers were; hell, he didn’t know a thing about her yet. Remus felt hopeless; there was no way he could surprise you, unless...

“Prongs,” Remus whispered, tapping James on the shoulder.

“Huh?” James mumbled, half-awake.

“Can you guys help me with something?” Remus asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

James yawned, rubbing his eyes awake. “What do you need?”

Remus took a deep breath. “I want to surprise Y/n later.”

James’ eyes widened. “You romantic son of a—Oi Sirius, wake up!” James nudged Sirius hard, jolting him awake.

“Where’s the dragon!? Where!?” Sirius exclaimed, bolting upright and nearly toppling out of his seat.

“Settle down, Padfoot. Remus is not going to surprise a girl with a dragon.” James rolled his eyes, making Remus huff in exasperation. “Moony needs our help with something; pay attention.”

Sirius blinked, his eyes unfocused, until he looked between Remus and James. “What's going on?” he asked, shaking his head to fully wake up.

“Remus wants to surprise Y/n today; give him some ideas,” James urged, nudging Sirius with his elbow. “You’re good at this sort of thing.”

“Oh, right. I’m quite the charmer, aren’t I?” Sirius yawned.

“Whatever, just help me,” Remus sighed, rolling his eyes as he leaned closer to the two of them.

“How about flowers?” Sirius suggested, “Girls love flowers.”

“Duh, we know that,” James said, rolling his eyes. “But which flowers?”  

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t know. Just pick some nice ones.”

“Brilliant idea, really helpful,” Remus rolled his eyes. 

James groaned. “This is going to take some serious planning,” he muttered, shaking his head.

Over the course of the class, the three boys huddled together and began to think of ways to help Remus plan a surprise for you. Together, they came up with the perfect idea for the picnic by the lake.

1. James will get the food from the kitchen.

2. Sirius will get a blanket and tea candles for that romantic feel.

3. Peter’s going to get the flowers.

4. Remus, just be Remus.

Later on, after class, the Marauders headed outside of the castle to start preparing for the surprise, leaving you none the wiser on what was going on behind the scenes. Throughout the day, Remus couldn’t keep the smile off his face, feeling the excitement build in his chest with each passing hour.

The sun began to set as evening approached, and students started to make their way back to their respective common rooms, some already getting ready to study in the library and some on their way to detention. When you reached your dorm, you found your friends waiting for you, already curious about how your day had gone.

“So, how was your day, Y/n?” Mary asked, a playful glint in her eyes.

“Yeah, what’d he say?” Marlene added, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

You rolled your eyes at their teasing, but you couldn’t deny the warm feeling that bloomed in your chest at the thought of your time with Remus. “We just had a nice walk to class together; nothing too exciting,” you replied, trying to keep your voice nonchalant.

Lily and the others exchanged knowing looks, clearly not buying your casual tone. “Alright, well, we won’t pry….yet.” Lily smirked. “Make sure to come back to the common room once you're done with your walk. You have to tell us everything.”

“That’s assuming there’s anything to tell,” you chuckled, feeling a familiar warmth spread throughout your chest. With that, you made your way to get ready for your walk with Remus, excitement bubbling inside you. You quickly freshened up and changed into a comfortable yet cute outfit—a pale pink sweater and some white jeans—making sure to look presentable for your time with Remus.

You waved your friends goodbye as you left the dorm, already looking forward to spending time with Remus and getting to know him better. You walked down to the common room, only to be stopped by James.

“Hi, Y/n.”

“Hey, James,” you smiled. “Have you seen Remus?” 

 “Actually, Mr. Moony has sent me to fetch you, my fair maiden.” James grinned before taking an exaggerated bow in front of you.

“If you’d be so kind as to follow me.” James held out an arm with a flourish, which made you laugh and roll your eyes.

“Alright, show me the way, kind sir,” you giggled, taking his arm.

James led you through the corridors, making jokes along the way. The two of you stopped at the courtyard, and James then turned to you.

“Go down to the beech tree; Remus is waiting for you there.” James smiled, winking at you.

“Thanks, James,” you chuckled, before making your way through the courtyard and down to the lakeshore.

As you reached the spot where Remus was waiting, you couldn’t help but feel a shot of warmth in your chest yet again. Remus was standing there with a smile on his face and a bouquet of pink and yellow flowers in his hand.

“Hi, you look beautiful.” Remus’ smile widened, his cheeks turning pink as he offered you the flowers.

You had to fight back a smile as his compliment made your heart skip a beat. “Thank you, Remus,” you said with a shy smile, taking the flowers. “Everything looks really lovely.”

Your eyes fell on the setup that Remus had prepared—a blanket spread out on the grass, tea candles placed around, and a small picnic basket beside it.

“Did you do all this?” you asked, feeling genuinely touched.

“Not entirely,” Remus admitted, smiling sheepishly. “My friends helped me, but I wanted to do something special for you.”

“Thank you, Remus. This is really sweet,” you said, feeling warmth in your chest.

You sat down on the blanket, and Remus joined you. The two of you started to talk and get to know each other better as the sun began to set. The air was filled with laughter, chatter, and the sound of nature around you. It felt like time was slowing down, allowing both of you to enjoy the moment and each other’s company.

As the evening turned to night and the moon shone brightly in the velvet sky, Remus took a deep breath, feeling a sense of contentment and happiness wash over him. He couldn’t deny that there was something special about you—something that made him feel more alive than he had in a long time. And in that moment, as you talked and laughed under the moonlight, Remus couldn’t help but feel as if he had found someone who understood him, someone who made him feel like everything was right in the world. And in that moment, he knew that you were someone he wanted to hold onto, someone he wanted to be a part of his life.

You looked up, meeting Remus’ eyes, and felt a sense of connection that you had never experienced before. Looking into his warm and gentle brown eyes, you just felt safe, and you knew that this was the start of something special, something worth holding onto.

“Thank you for tonight, Remus,” you said, feeling a sense of contentment in your heart.

“It was my pleasure, Y/N; you deserve it and more. I had a great time with you,” Remus replied, his eyes holding a warmth that made your heart skip a beat. “I was wondering...”

“What is it?” 

“Would you like to go with me to Hogsmeade on the weekend?”

Blood rushed into your cheeks at his question. Remus just asked you out to Hogsmeade! “I’d love to, Remus.”

Remus’ smile widened, and his cheeks tinged pink. “Great. It’s a date?” 

You chuckled softly. “Yes, it’s a date.”

As you both made your way back to the Gryffindor common room, the evening felt magical in a way that you couldn’t quite define. You stepped inside your dorm, and you were met with the squeals and teasing of your friends, who had clearly been waiting for your return.

“You’ve been gone for ages; you seemed to be having fun,” Marlene teased, nudging you playfully.

“Hey, stop it!” you laughed, playfully swatting her arm.

“It looks like someone had a good time,” Lily teased, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

You shook your head at their teasing, but you couldn’t deny the smile that remained on your face. Tonight had been different and special, and you couldn’t wait to see what the future held.

As you sat on your bed with your friends, the warm feeling in your chest lingered, and for the first time in a long time, you felt like everything was going to be okay.

And as for Remus, as he made his way to his dormitory, a smile remained on his face. The special night with you felt like a dream, but he knew that it was just the start.

Maybe you were the one he had been waiting for—the one who could tame the heart of a werewolf—the one who could make him feel more alive than he had in a long time. And the thought of spending more time with you, getting to know you, and making new memories together filled him with hope and excitement.

He went to sleep that night with a contented heart and the belief that you were the one he had been searching for all this time, the one he could see himself falling for. And as he drifted into sleep, he let the thoughts and dreams of you soothe him to a good night’s rest. 

Who knew a game of seven minutes in heaven could make you feel like this?

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @lizzxoxo @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @danni-phant0m @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4a @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @bambikitten @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @abruuinlove @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden

[a-d-nox]

pac/pap: how to promote self-love going forward

take what resonates leave what doesn't - nothing is 100% for you because these aren't personalized so please no angry comments or dms about what i am saying not being a good fit for you or that you "don't claim" just keep scrolling if that is the case. be kind, self reflect, and have fun.

last pac/pap: message from your secret admirer

masterlist of pap/pac posts

want a personal reading? click here to check out my reading options and prices!

pile one

you might settle for less because you likely get caught up in the drama and find it fun/addicting in the moment. you pursue goals/ideas with focus, but often lack the confidence to back it up. or you wait too long for others before moving on.

i believe love has taught you that you should never settle too quickly. it is best to date multiple people before starting an exclusive relationship. don't get overwhelmed by relationship drama because it will consume you and ruin your day (but only temporarily because nothing is forever - so why stress?). you know now not to let others stick their nose in your relationships - too many opinions will taint your feelings. the biggest lesson is that you learned to cut off anything that interferes with your desires.

i feel like you are jealous maybe a lot of people around you are coupled and you are alone. be cautious because you don't know when you might ruin your relationships with others just because you feel unhappy with your situation. stop worrying about being judged or how often you are rejected - it doesn't matter you are going to find someone in due time (you are worthy). you are loving, nurturing, and protective.

you can nurture yourself by getting out there. you have been alone and isolated for too long - so get out there. stop refusing to look within for what you truly want. ask for support to get what your truly desire, especially in the social sense.

what i feel you need to hear is that you have a strong energy - you are gifted with the ability to receive what you need most from the universe. don't rush or force things - what is meant for you, will find you. you are passionate, creative, magnetic, and attractive. you are also nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person in most people's life. you have many things - you attract the world and its gifts to you. you don't settle for less - when something is missing you go looking for it. you follow your heart and instincts; you make room for new things to bring joy/happiness.

pile two

i feel like you struggle with maintaining balance in a connection and that might just be the source of why you settle for less. you get too invested in a connection and then you loose track of who are and what you want and need most in a connection. you often find yourself prioritizing the other person over yourself.

love has taught you that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life, so that you can make space for new things and even new people can better help you grow and thrive.

i feel like you are sad presently or are in the process of recovering from some sort of emotional pain/disappointment. sorrow doesn't last forever. you are very capable of healing - new experiences await you. not all new experiences are destined for heartbreak - have faith.

you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to succeed in love and be the perfect partner/person. perfect is impossible - so be generous with yourself because right now you are only burning yourself out. to nurture your wellbeing, you should stop judging your productiveness and stop comparing yourself to others - delete social media and take sometime off where you don't have to do anything at all (no doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, etc.). do what brings you joy and say "no" to everything else.

i feel like you need to hear that you are a patient person who realizes that change doesn't happen overnight. you celebrate the small wins with small cute things (for example, maybe you survived a hard week and you get yourself a cupcake). things are getting better so just acknowledge that they are. you can recognize when things have been blown out of proportion or things are being exaggerate for dramatic effect - you are human bullshit detector which is a rare find. even rarer still you have the ability to find a resolution to any argument. you are presently working on not letting other people's expectations of you throw you off of your path. you can make your own path and you know it. you trust that you are capable of standing independently of others, and you are capable of anything.

pile three

i don't feel like you are the type to settle for less than you are worth - i get the feeling that you are slightly cocky about your situation. you might need to practice being humble in a connection because you can come off as judgy or as though you have a superior attitude. alternatively, you might find yourself in connections with people who are very controlling and you might not recognize that you are in that type of connection until it is too late. it is not your fault that you might have settled for less than your worth in the past - you just found yourself in the wrong place and the wrong time and experienced a toxic relationship.

i feel as though you learned that a partner doesn't need to be flashing or exciting instead they need to be stable, grounded, and trustworthy. you have had the flashy connections in the past and it was not the best. you need something more sensual than passionate. something that grows slowly over time so that it lasts.

your intuition is never wrong about the people with interest in you, so learn to trust yourself. you are very emotionally intelligent, so trust that you have the answers you seek about any connection. trust your gut instead of overthinking and overanalyzing.

cultivate your intuitive powers, so you can manifest your dreams into reality. to nurture yourself i sense that you should reconnect with nature and recharge with the the power of the sun. you should also focus on healing any and all blockages that concern your self-esteem/self-worth.

you might need to hear that you are nurturing and dependable. you are one of the most supportive person other's life. you have many things - you attract the world and it's gifts to you. you realize that things can change very radically/unexpectedly and cause you to question everything. you have learned that you have to let go of certain aspects in your love life so that you can make space for new things and even new people who can help you grow and thrive. you know that heartbreak is temporary and that time heals all wounds. you can heal and grow as soon as you believe that you are worthy and that no one wishes to hurt you or your heart. it's okay to be hurt but you have to release that pain instead of bottling it up so you can recover.

[copper-16]

Chapter 8 has been posted - but before everyone goes to read, a little bit of an announcement on my end:

This is going to be my last longer Mapi/Ingrid story, and probably the end of me being super active/posting on ao3 and tumblr. I might write the occasional story here and there, but writing is not bringing me the same joy it once was and I want to dedicate my time to other things. I’ll still be around reading on ao3 and somewhat on Tumblr, but I just won’t be posting a whole ton on either. I’ve been so incredibly lucky to get to know all of you guys on here, and to receive so much love for my work. It means the absolute world to me - and thank you all so much for welcoming me into this little community so wonderfully! I hope the stories I wrote were able to bring just a little bit of happiness when you guys needed it (even if I constantly left everyone on cliffhangers - I truly am sorry about that).

The rest of this is long, and you don't have to read it if you don't want to, you can just go ahead to the story now if you would like. I'm not known for my ability to keep concise, that is for certain. If brevity is the soul of wit - perhaps we know why my stories aren't very funny!

I’ve especially enjoyed joining tumblr and really finding a little community here. Getting to interact with so many people, both those who read my works and those who don’t, has been such a joy for me. I love getting to hear when people like the things I've written, even if it touches them in a small way. I love getting to interact with so many brilliant minds and am forever in awe of how much amazing talent there is in this little corner of the internet! I've made some incredible friends from getting to be on here, and it makes me so happy to have a little community of people I love. Thank you guys for letting me have space here even if I don’t write reader works or know how this app works most of the time.

I started writing seriously in September 2022 and I can't tell you how much joy it has brought me in the last two years. As someone who doesn't enjoy the college degree they are currently getting, this was such a fun creative outlet for me. It was so cool to have this blank canvas to work with, to weave things together, especially as I began to write longer stories. Writing was a place to destress for me and interact with other people who loved football as I was coming to love it. Every single kudos, comment, and bookmark meant so much to me. Even when it was something silly like someone dubbing the 'Copper Monologue,' it made me feel so seen. Someone cared enough to read enough of my works to pick out the fact that I do that? Absolutely mind blowing to me. It's crazy to hear that people cared about the silly little stories I wrote. When someone told me that I was one of the things to help inspire them to write their own stuff - I think I properly sobbed. It meant more to me than anything has in this entire world, and it still does! Writing has helped me to process, it's helped me to grow, it's helped me learn to identify my emotions and struggles and think through my own thought processes. I hope that maybe for someone out there, it could help them do that as well. It's a little strange for me not to want to do that anymore. Writing this last story solidified to me that for the most part it was time to be done, and HDITA was more of a goodbye than anything else. But even with that, it feels strange not to be thinking of my next idea, thinking of how I am going to create characters and relationships and plot lines.

I think for me right now, I'm just excited to be myself. Maybe this vessel of writing was what I needed to get myself through the last two years. I wrote la princesa when I was at my absolute worst in life, and as I've grown and matured as a person, I like to think that my writing has. I no longer find myself in a place where it fills a huge void in my own life that I once needed.

I've grown a lot as a writer these few years (those who read my earlier works will understand), and I'm excited to one day come back to it, maybe in a different sphere. I love the idea now of writing a real book. It always terrified me before - I didn't know where I would start or if I would be horrible at it. But you all have given me the confidence that maybe at least one person would like it, and maybe that's enough of a reason to try. So thank you all for holding my hand and encouraging me. I hope that if nothing else, everyone remembers that a little bit of kindness on here or ao3 or anywhere on the internet costs nothing, and yet can go a long way.

It did for me.

But enough of my sappy rambling, please enjoy this last chapter of mine. I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me when I was writing it. Love you all so so much!

Chapter 8 of How Do I Trust Again?