#maybe maybe not the sources and opinions r mixed

[beauty-marked-beauties]

Today's Beauty-Marked Beauty is: Naoshi Ooizumi from Hashihime of the Old Book Town

[anendoandfriendo]

Some New Guidelines on Askbox Accusations/Callouts Since We Have Had This Happen Twice in Our Life Now

...and would like it if it didn't happen again.

[The "Weird It Happened Twice" meme. It's Doofenschmirtz from the TV show Phineas & Ferb stating "If I had a nickel for every time I was doomed by a puppet, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice." while looking very confused or disconcerted over two image frames.]

Okay so like, here's the thing: if you tell us "X user is Y identity and that's bad," and you give us zero other details we will simply call you a cop and tell you to fuck off.

If you can detail to us "hey, I think you may not have known this. X person is part of Y movement. Here are links Z, A, V, and U along with their web archives detailing how X user is acting and here are links T, B, I, and O to add additional context. Here are links to articles C, F, R, P, and K plus their web archives describing how this is a hate movement that X user is a part of," then maybe we will listen to you.

We might vent about anti-endogenics being bigots for example but we aren't going to like, send specific callouts about specific anti-endogenics or whatever and invade peoples' spaces telling them to not talk to that person or reblog without sourcing our claims that the person or system is anti-endogenic because that would be fucking rude at best. The person we are sending the accusation to may not even know about it!

In addition:

If we are going to be entering someone's inbox to tell them X person is part of Y movement then articles/posts C, F, R, P, and K plus their web archives cannot just be random vents directly from us unless the vent contains pertinent information. We are allowed to be mad, but you probably want to know we are serious about what we are claiming. We expect the same of you.

Regarding the above: this does mean we do not want to hear "and if you support Y then I hope you die in a fire," or similar on a serious discussion post. A vent post might be a much better option for that language. Please see the previous point about vent posts.

"A lot of people accept D bigoted thing in Y community therefore it is a hate movement" nope, wrong! By that logic everyone in your rather benign but possibly uninformed community is actually part of a hate movement down to the last person who does not use the "right" language around you. We hope you realize why this is a very bad path to go down and it is one we are personally trying to heal from.

Screenshots do not count if something is supposedly publicly available where a link would suffice. Unless it is either about something horribly and-or urgently dangerous or we have directly asked you about it, we really do not want to see your personal beef with anyone as seen through the screenshots of DMs/PMs.

Please expect us to fact-check your statements if and when we manage to find the time/energy/motivation to do so. We may not get back to you immediately or even ever but that doesn't necessarily mean we have done nothing either lol.

Hopefully this will make it clear what our standards are when it comes to looking into movements, people, organizations, and groups we know zero information about.

If it is not: we are essentially asking you to put together a cohesive argument defending your opinion the way we were taught (mix of formal and informal with a hint of critical-synthetic thinking). We are not asking for your inferences about what the words in the DSM mean or your assumptions about what a particular group of people are like. We want you to use your resources to do your own research and then explain the most basic, most important points to us along with the footnotes to turn those inferences into an opinion with weight behind it.

For example: if the DSM V says "associated with" trauma when it comes to DID, and you take that to mean a causative relationship, we have some very bad news for you when it comes to science. And here's an extra source for good measure for all of the hateful sysmedicalists out there who believe DID is the only way to be plural and/or that endogenic systems cannot have DID.

Therefore, anything that even infers that DID is proven, beyond a doubt, by specifically trauma and only trauma will be seen to us as anti-science. The DSM says "associated" and we can speculate about the reasons why all day. Speculation still isn't the same as scientific inquiry. How about, instead of letting your hatred over some systems not being the same as you get in your way, you go and do some anti-saneism advocacy in your local neighborhood so systems can exist in public spaces without discrimination?

We are not putting a double standard on anyone, this is the same reaction most people would very reasonably have if you screamed the word fire in a movie theater and there was no actual fire.

-----

Now that this is all cleared up, we can confidently state as follows:

The biggest elephant in the room since we see discorse pop up about it once in a blue moon and it is also the reason we had to bring back the "don't be a cop and assume we are pro- or anti- anything just because we reblog from someone we don't even know" post: we do not know what a radqueer transid is and do not fucking give a shit for the most part. Preliminary conclusions tell us we are likely to be staunchly against anything that is transhateful; that we see no difference between transbodic versus aldernic or chronosian and transage as even if people try to assert there is a distinction, we just don't see it we guess; transspecies and transgender when they are opt-in (and the key phrase IS, in fact, opt-in) are fine we think; and that everything else is on thin fucking ice at best. As soon as you hear a word combined with another word and it's anything besides derogatory you start assuming we are pro-whatever-the-fuck-this-is. We can see this debate going on in our periphery and the hostility and vile attitudes all around is making it fundamentally unsafe for us to say we don't know or do not have enough information. We have seen how groomer accusations go down when it comes to LGBT queer people. Stop it. If these people are just trying to exist in peace we don't want a part in the harassment. If they are harmful then we will find the proof of it one way or another but you are not going to be sending unsubstantiated claims and ad-homniem attacks to our askbox. C'est la vie — keep it on your blog and shut the fuck up if you cannot calmly substantiate your claims while bringing it up to us.

The same goes for random fucking statements like "well I guess I should just die then lmao," about anti-psychiatry stuff. Especially if you are pushing yourself into our notifications and making that sort of claim, and especially if there is nothing in the text stating as such. You are the one who is barging into our space and making umprompted accusations and the onus/burden of proof is on you, not us and not anyone else.

This is also the reason that we tend to lean more pro-ship than anti-ship to be honest? Saying "we don't give much of a damn," is not accurate in the slightest but is also the best phrasing we can come up with for this one unfortunately. We simply think that a lot of folks were not taught media analysis skills one way or another. While the curtains may actually just be blue, we also do not think people should get to say "the curtains were just blue," until they can understand how rhetoric works. This is the mystery "second time," we had this happen to us and it was when we were back on our old (probably termed by now tbh) account @/thatoneweirdhumanisback. It was the same as before but with the added annoyance of this particular system having asked to be our "friend" not more than a month ago. That by itself felt incredibly manipulative weather or not it was intended.

Just because we come to a decision or conclusion that you do not agree with does not mean that we did not listen and if you imply that, you are essentially using the same tactics our abusive former-stepmother used to accuse us of "misbehaving" and being an immoral person for the supposed "misbehavior". We sincerely hope you understand why that is not a great look. Please look up the acronym DARVO and the term gaslighting if you do not. If we see even a hint that is the direction any conversation is going you're getting an immediate block. It isn't a moral judgement on you, it's for our own safety (and possibly yours too if that is how you handle your interpersonal relationships generally — we also get like that when we have a sense we have lost control of our life and we hope you get better if that is truly your situation).

If you are going to send us an accusation about another being in our askbox or DMs and your own emotional investment leads to a failure to follow these guidelines, we're also probably going to block you on sight for that as well. That is not something we want to get involved in. That tells us you are clearly incapable of basic decency at the time the message was sent.

We also hope it is obvious why the same result will occur if you do this in reference to us but if it is not clear that also tells us you are clearly incapable of basic decency at the time the message was sent and in addition you're...probably also pulling something out of context. If we are venting we probably won't be giving any nuanced thought to something. If we are not venting, we think scrolling around our blog for five or so minutes will make it a little more clear to most people how we generally act and react. If someone or somesys didn't even bother to do that they probably aren't worth our time anyways.

Basically, this is a very long-winded way to tell you to not ask us about our opinions, interject and try to influence our opinions (particularly if you are using shame and guilt in doing so), or debate us unless we have openly and clearly invited you to do so.

Guidelines and our opinions (the opinions listed here or elsewhere) can and always will be subject to change dependant on new information we find to be credible.

Find a different blog to satisfy your bloodlust writhing need for hatred.

[unknownsources]

[unknown source] presents Made In Nebraska’s official single from his next project titled “Night’s In Nebraska”

Recorded, Written, & Mixed @ “End of the rainbow creations studios”

Mixed & Mastered by Keyhole Vision Studios

Cover art by *graphic content*

Produced by Mirrored Spirit

Genre: Midwest Hip-Hop, Indie rock, Future Punk, Soul, Blues, R&B Rock, Midwest emo, shoegaze, punk rock, lofi hip hop, & spiritual music

Uploaded on the behalf of Lightheaded publication’s

[lyrics]

i shake the walls & move the ground

i dont care whos around

yeah i got the newest sound

im the coolest dude in town

i shake the walls & move the ground

i dont care whos around

yeah i got the newest sound

im the coolest

i be doin it, im not new to it

i be doin it, well you talk about it

Now wonder why you pissed

Now wonder why you mad

& when I’m gettin rich

I won’t forget to pay the tax

I won’t forget to pay the tax, yeah I need like 80packs

The year is 2022 you trynuh bring the 80s back?

She trynuh lay me back

Oh yeah I can’t relax

I got a billion raps

The best compared to me is whack

The best compared to me is whack

Not my opinion

That’s a fact

Want my opinion? Imma hold the mic & never give it back

I’ll never give it back

Could catch me running laps

I’m working my raps

I’m in the country moving fast

I’m in the country moving fast

Looking forward watch me pass

Imma let you pick yo’s 1st

Cuz I don’t care I’ll pick mine last

Oh yeah I’ll pick mine last

I only need the cash

Maybe some pizza with a soda

I’ll be cool with that

[broomsick]

I’ve been feeling drawn to Odin lately and I was wondering if you could give me some advice as where to start with Norse Mythology/Witchcraft. I’d like to set up an altar as well for him but I can’t find much on what I should use. Any advice? Thanks!

Why hello there! That’s a very interesting ask. Of course, this answer will be based on my own personal opinion and doesn’t reflect the opinion of the entire heathen community. I’ll try to make this as concise as possible.

First of all, there are vast differences between witchcraft and paganism. For a lot of people, the two are tied but it’s not the case for me: my spiritual beliefs are very distinct from my magical practices. Whether or not you want to mix the two (by including Óðinn in your witchcraft, for example) is entirely up to you.

Now to the actual beginner talk. Norse mythology is a set of myths, most of which have been heavily muddied by Christianity and the passage of time. These stories depict the norse gods using characteristics and attributes they were known for in ancient Scandinavian and germanic cultures. Learning about these gods demands a lot of discernment: most of them were transformed with time, and a lot of them are vastly different in their myths when compared to how they act with their devotees. So that’s something to keep in mind. However, you’re in luck: Óðinn is actually one of the gods we know most about since a lot of his stories have managed to be salvaged. This strong cultural presence shows the great importance he had in the areas where he was worshipped.

In order to learn about norse mythology, I’d recommend focusing on historical sources first, before diving into scholarly interpretations, and THEN, the neo-pagan pov (like UPG’s). Maybe start off by reading the Poetic Edda. It’s a set of poems and one of the largest remaining historical sources we have on the actual norse myths. The Völuspá (part of the poetic edda), for example, tells the mythological history of the world from its creation to its destruction. The sagas are also a cool set of stories to learn from! They’re a great help when you’re getting into the culture which surrounds norse mythology. Next up would be Snorri’s Prose Edda, although that one is known to be extremely Christianized and one of our less reliable sources. What’s interesting about it though is how long and detailed it is, due to it having been written in prose. There’s also a lot of good websites out there (I’ll list my favorites at the end of this post) but I’d say they too should be taken with a grain of salt. Cross-checking sources is a basic research skill to develop when getting into paganism. The more you learn, the more global a view you’ll get and that’s key to truly understanding mythology. Documentaries are also among my favorite ways to learn about mythology! They, just like books, are often a lot more reliable than websites or the opinions of people online. A lot of research is put into them. Also, they’re fun to watch!

As for working with Óðinn, there’s really no fear to be had. He is a very patient and understanding mentor. He will let you make mistakes and He will help you learn from them. Because of this, I’d advise trying whatever feels the most natural when it comes to His altar! He knows you are a beginner to deity work and He will give you as much time to adjust yourself as you’ll need. Looking Him up is the first step to building a relationship with Him. Learn as much as you can about Him. Next you should be deciding what you want from your relationship with Him: more of a devotee-deity relationship, mentor and student, or maybe friend to friend? What do you need most from him? Now, your altar can be decorated with pictures or effigies of Him, maybe drawings you made of Him! They’re a lot more personal ^^ In fact, anything you make for Him will make great offerings for your altar! Especially if you include runes in them, as they are one of His more prominent symbols. You can give Him LOTS of red wine, He is known to appreciate it thoroughly. Alcohol in general is a very common and surefire offering, just like red and dried meats. I also like to symbolically offer a part of my meal to Him, as if inviting Him to my table. I’ll link below Óðinn’s main online shrine, so you can get inspiration from it!

Symbols of Óðinn to potentially use in your altar:

Wolves

Ravens

Spears

Eight-legged horses

Wine

Runes

The Valknut

Some of my favorite beginner sources:

Odin’s online shrine

Norse mythology for smart people (general information about the Gods and myths)

Voluspa.org my favorite translation site for the prose and poetic eddas

Skald’s Keep norse pagan and heathen ressources

Ocean Keltoi on YouTube funny guy who makes very detailed and interesting videos on norse paganism using historical sources and whom I do be obsessed with these days

[beneathstarryskies]

I checked your masterlist and there isn't an Itachi NSFW Alphabet 😗👉👈 Can you make one pretty please? 💕🙏🏽

Itachi Uchiha x NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Itachi is the king of aftercare. He will do absolutely anything you need from him. Do you need water or a snack? Done. His favorite thing is to run you a bath and gently help you clean up. He loves washing your hair. It’s very intimate but also he just wants to take care of you. Itachi would do anything for you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Itachi is really proud of his hair. So much in his life he’s felt out of control, and it might sound dumb but his hair is the one thing he can have complete control over. It’s long and silky and the fact that you love running your fingers through it makes him even more proud.

His favorite part of his partner’s body is going to be your hands. Hands are the source of so many forms of affection, and the fact that you use them to show him affection makes him so weak.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s a Uchiha, so obviously he’s got that breeding kink. His favorite place to cum is going to be inside of you. Itachi tends to cum a lot, so you’re going to be pumped full of his cum.

He’s not gonna turn down cumming in your mouth either though, especially if you give him a super messy blow job. He loves when you pull away and there’s cum on your mouth. It makes him weak.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Itachi is kind of prone to keeping tabs on you when you’re separated. Not in a possessive way, but just wanting to make sure you’re safe. However, he’s often thought of using this as a way to surprise you by sneaking into your window and wake you up by burying his face between your thighs.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Itachi isn’t very experienced, but he eagerly takes instruction. He’s also very intuitive. Itachi will pay a lot of attention to your reactions to things he does, and figure out how to work your body to get the best reaction.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Itachi will typically enjoy very intimate positions, but he’s also versatile. Any variation of missionary or you riding him is his favorite. From time to time if he’s feeling stressed and needs relief he enjoys pounding into you from behind while tugging on your hair.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Itachi tends to be pretty serious in general, and this extends to the bedroom. However, sometimes he tries to say something sexy which comes out awkward. He won't’ get offended if you laugh, in fact seeing your laugh only gets him going more.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He doesn’t have a lot of body hair in general. His pubic hair is dark and soft. It’s not very thick, but Itachi still keeps it well groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Itachi is extremely intimate. He enjoys having you very close to him and pressing soft kisses everywhere his lips can reach in whatever position he has you in. He’ll whisper sweet things in your ear and praise you for how good you take his cock.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Itachi jacks off pretty often. He enjoys taking his time with himself though, so he usually does it when he’s got a lot of spare time. He’ll stroke himself slowly, maybe even using a fleshlight, while using your image to get himself off.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding kink, obviously. Nothing is sexier to him than pumping you full of cum, especially if you’re begging him for it. Bondage and blindfolds is something he’d play around with. Lingerie and praise kink. Voyeurism would be a big thing with Itachi, especially watching you masturbating. If you whisper his name while touching yourself he will absolutely lose it.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His own bed is his favorite place because he can take his time with you, and it’s the safest place to experiment. However, if the need arises while you’re away from home he won’t hesitate to fuck you anywhere he can.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Itachi honestly can get turned on just by looking at you at times, especially if you’re smiling or laughing. He just gets so overwhelmed by having someone who loves him so much and who he can make happy, he has to take you immediately. If you rub his thigh during a meeting or at dinner, he’ll be so eager to take you somewhere more private.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Nothing to hurt you. Absolutely not.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Itachi loves giving oral so much. The taste of your pussy is so intoxicating to him. He’s very dedicated to getting you off as many times as possible, and this can often lead to him overstimulating you.

Sinking down to suck his cock is the easiest way to get Itachi totally weak. As your lips around the head of his cock, he will absolutely be at your mercy. Itachi will cum very quickly. The mix of your affection, the sounds, and just the adoration he feels for you is overwhelming.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Itachi likes to take him time with you. But occasionally he just needs a good release, and he’ll pound into you while holding you down.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They’re not his favorite thing, but sometimes he finds it necessary. If he doesn’t have time to fuck you properly, but he just needs to be inside of you he’ll settle for a quickie.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Itachi really enjoys experimenting, but he absolutely will not do anything to hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Sex is for pleasure, and he doesn’t want to do anything to take that from you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Itachi can last a very long time, having tremendous self control. He does have a long refractory period, and sometimes he might not even be able to go more than one round if you guys had gone at it for a long time.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He is curious about toys, but the idea of actually physically going to buy them makes Itachi want to die. So, anything you’re wanting to try you’ll have to bring.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Itachi tries to tease you a bit because he likes to hear you begging for him to fuck you, but he can’t keep it up long. It’s just too difficult to deny you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Itachi is not very loud. He’ll whisper sweet/naughty things to you quite often, but usually gets so lost in the pleasure he can’t do much besides gasp or moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Itachi actually is very curious about watching you fuck someone else. It’s almost an academic curiosity. He’d be interested in seeing how different you would be with someone else, and what pleases you that he may not do.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Itachi is long, around 9 inches. He’s slightly above average in girth, enough for you to feel a slight stretch when he slides into your entrance. His cock has a nice curve to it.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Itachi has a pretty high sex drive, especially once starting a family is introduced to the mix. However, he’s not one to let it distract him from other important things. He has a lot of self control.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Itachi doesn’t typically sleep well, but after sex he feels so relieved he will fall asleep somewhat quickly.

[sprinklesandshatters]

A Review on NCT 127′s 3rd Album <Sticker>

So NCT 127 just came back with their 3rd Full Album <Sticker> and this is my first 127 comeback since I became a fan last year! Neozone is such a special album for me as it was their first album that I explored entirely. I've known NCT as the group who never fails any expectations so I've kept mine up although I know they'll exceed it anyway. And guess what, they did! I absolutely love their new album hence this review~

This isn't a technical music review—as I am not a musician myself—but rather a listener's honest takes, goofy notes, and interpretation on each of the tracks in the album. I admit I've also struggled to build my own opinions on some of the tracks until I listened to them over and over again.

I have also heard there are mixed opinions on the title track <Sticker> and a lot says it's another acquired taste. But I think it's not just that, as it can be a grower, just like how most of NCT's songs were for me. Maybe after a few listens and a right passage of time, it will grow on those people. The bottom line here is, I like it a lot! 😛

So I listed down the songs according to their respective track numbers and followed each with a bulleted list of my opinions and interpretations.

(Viewer/reader discretion: before you continue, minors, do not interact as there are few 18+ contents under the cut. Thank you.)

1. Sticker

THEY DIDN'T JUST PUNCH A NEW NOTCH ON THE BELT LIKE THAT

THIS SONG SLAPS, LITERALLY SLAPS… AND WHIPS 

The recorder at the intro boyyyy I thought something was wrong but then I remember it’s NCT lmao

It already stuck in my head from my first listen from the Instagram audio.

With Taeyong opening the verse with his divine rapping, I knew I'm in for a new ride.

STICK-UH STICK-UGH STICK-UGHGHGH

To those complaining it sounding like noise music, imagine it sounding generic. I don't think it would fit as the title track. Not a b-track or in their repertoire, even. They are called NCT because they define the NEO in the music culture and music technology!

It honestly was an unorthodox, just like all of their title tracks, which I’m inherently here for.

Literally, no one does it like them!

The growls and the vocal flexes and adlibs! (You can tell it has Yoo Youngjin's brand.)

The crisp metronome sound that’s consistently ticking except for the pre-chorus and the dance break adds depth to the soundscape. I love how it’s used instead of the usual snaps.

The production quality blew my mind. Like how can someone think those melodies would sound so exquisite? CAN I CALL THEM GENIUS?

The piano at the back, oh my God—Yes! It adds this mystifying element to the song.

I'm not sure if it's a midi violin at the pre-chorus, but it added thrill to the song. It was a great transition from the bass line in the verses to the combination of the flawless harmony with the same instrumental.

"You treat me like a boy, like a grown-up child chasing a dream" JUNGWOO BABY NO MORE HUH

Taeil, Doyoung, and Haechan—the bridge vocal trinity!

But why the heck are they cowboys? I dig the concept, but why? LMAO

BTW GUNSLINGER MARK I’M ON MY KNEES YEEHAW

This is easily one of my favorite tracks from NCT 127's entire discography 💚

2. Lemonade

(⌐■_■)

Jaehyun starting off this song with his deep voice eee

The song opens to a verse oozing with chill confidence. They're like, yeah you're lurking because we’re cool.

This is such a huge slap to their haters. NCT's not chillin' like a villain, nah they're the main characters!

Well maybe they’re villains, but still ya not cooler than them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Funny enough how they could have just referred haters as simply lemons whose sour/bitter to the taste, but 127 squad's success is sweeter than all the haters' spiteful remarks so yeah, SIPPY SIPPY LEMONADE 🧃

"WOOF"

I might have just barked too wOW

Yuta’s vocals hooooO his voice just sounds so glamorous mhmm

Also Mark referencing their previous title tracks such as: Firetruck, Cherry Bomb, and Regular (it's Irregular in the lyrics) in his rap part 👌💅

I just love Mark's energy when he raps. HE RESOLUTELY BITES AND STRAIGHT UP EATS EVERY TIME HE DOES.

3. Breakfast

Now breakfast time, oh jeez!

AAAHAHFU—

Summer 127's bestie!

If Summer 127 talks about dancing all night long, Breakfast is the morning after.

You know what it is.

"Even if I gulp and drink you, it's not enough for me." oho Taeyong no you ha—STOP

Sexual innuendos aside, isn't it just sweet if someone tells you they'd want to have breakfast with you every day?  Okay maybe I'm melting at the thought 😩🙈💞

And I can see myself dancing to this song as I make breakfast (in the afternoon or at midnight bc I’m crazy)

This was an okay b-track for me at the first skim on the album, but boy it grew on me wildly.

Honestly one of my favorite tracks in this album.

4. Focus

Did I just invade a private call? LMAO

The analog voice filters make it like so.

Dude, this feels intimate in the level of eavesdropping a phone call between seasoned lovers. Then you realize you hear them whispering their kinks over the line and you're ooh, that's sexy! hfgklhfhf

My first listen to this, I almost went feral because,

"I can't wait to eat you…" when it's actually "I can't wait 'til we chill…" aahaha

"Baby call me when you want me." OKAY!

This sounds relaxing and chill. I'd love to play this on a late night drive or just before bed time along with Fly Away With Me, Sun & Moon, My Youth, and Long Flight.

Belongs to ‘make out session’ playlist  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

That was lowkey a playlist recommendation, huh?

I'd be kidding if I don't say I could touch myself while listening to this song AHAHAFGHFJFJ

I didn't know this would grow on me this much lol I love love LOVE THIS!

5. The Rainy Night

Ooh, the holy melancholy!

Piano at the intro—I knew I'd cry to this.

This song isn't just about break-up, but the heartbreak after one.

The yearning; the remnant pieces from the shattering of what was once there.

I think I crumbled from this one.

This hit so hard I felt like I fit in the shoes with the lyrics throughout the entire song.

What’s fascinating is I clearly forgot the title when I mentally said this sounds like a sad rainy day song from the first listen.

Something I’d turn up when it suddenly rains, just because I want to feel the blues.

Taeil and Haechan singing in lower register? I wanna cry :( they’re just one of the best vocalists in K-music industry right now.

Could have been also nice if they added Yuta to the vocals.

"My selfish heart who waits for you to come back," OKAY WHO HURT THEM?

And the fact that they sang it so good that it translated every ounce of the emotions well even before I looked up for English translations is the reason why I love this song too.

6. Far

Hmm… What the hell?! Do I like this? Wait...

Alright!

The jumpy vibe from the first verse to the pre-chorus set the mood for this song. It sounds merry and heavy. It was honestly too much to take until I’ve reached the chorus part.

Honestly, I think this song could fit NCT Dream better, as it gives off a vibe similar to Hello Future's b-tracks. If some credible source say this could have made HF’s track list, I might believe you too fast.

Also Dream’s Deja Vu where they go na nananananana na na na~

Playful yet confident! That’s what I mean!

As usual, the vocals are insane! Vocal flex from left to right!

I swear Jungwoo sounded a bit like Taemin at the second verse that I had to replay it hahaha

I love hearing Johnny as a vocalist! SM, how many signs do you need until you utilize his vocal talent???

Taeil's part where he sings, "go nuts, go nuts, 'til we go bust, go bust" IDEK BUT I SNORTED A LAUGH AT FIRST LISTEN HFCAHKFHK

Not my favorite, but still great though!

But wait it’s actually stuck in my head???

7. Bring The Noize

Yes, they never beat those noise music allegations

HERE'S SOME NOIZE, BITCHES

I love me some noisy percussions. AND THE BASS YO

This screams so much confidence!

The build up from the pre-chorus to the chorus—FIRE!

This song reminds me a lot of SuperM's Super Car, especially with the engine roar samples and the battle cry-like singing at the chorus.

JAEHYUN RAPPING? You mean Jaehyun the visual, the vocalist, the actor, the model, the funny dude, aka my everything?! (markie bb look pls look away for a moment)

THEY DELIVERED IT STRAIGHT FROM NEOCITY THAT'S SOME NCT MUSIC RIGHT THERE NO ONE DOES IT LIKE THEM

When I said I'd play Focus on a late night drive, and if I add this in the playlist, VROOM VROOM SPEED LIMIT WHAT

OUTTA MY WAY

“We got no shame” ouh TAEYONG’S FLOW IS JUST VERY HIM AND HE’S IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN

You know what's so clever about this song? It's how it ended with Mark's final rap without any instrumental, leaving you  standing there with a doppler effect-like post experience.

A super car on a super speed just whooshed past you and you look its way as it zips through the road. It's gone in an instant but you're floored dumbfounded at a sidewalk. That's how I describe this song.

8. Magic Carpet Ride

This song… Wow. Oh gosh it's so beautiful.

Their harmony in the chorus—it makes me want to kiss someone so passionately that I'd cry.

This makes me want to feel love that transcends the universe. Literally, just please take me on a magic carpet ride :(

The background harmonies too oh my goodness—HEAVENLY.

Jaehyun's voice is so warm and soulful it fits perfectly with songs of this genre.

Okay alright Doyoung Grande!

And Taeil makes me feel like I'm listening to old school R&B.

The first time I heard this from the track video, I can't stop replaying because it's just that great.

This makes me want to love. I think that sums it up.

9. Road Trip

This is such a soothing song for me, especially how I easily become nostalgic thinking about the road trips I've had.

Whenever I listen to this, my brain immediately conjures up thoughts of my ideal getaways. Gazing at the sky through the car window, stirring up from a nap in the middle of the ride, and   eventually reaching your destination.

Oh, to travel around anywhere... (curse you covid-19)

Okay that's it. I'M PACKING UP.

But where do I go—

I could also imagine Mark playing this on the guitar and the other members sing along together, something like that.

Just Wholesome™ vibes.

I love how it evokes such a nice emotion within me effortlessly.

This isn't my favorite, but I still love this.

10. Dreamer

Eyyyy such a refreshing song!

This song is so bright it makes me want to dance. I play this first in the shower!

It reminds me so much of Elevator (from Neozone)

The horns make it more lively I think!

Yuta and Jungwoo's voice suits lively songs like this.

The background vocal in low register in Taeyong's part in the first verse is so good ahhfhf

Taeil, the R&B vocal king you are...

There's this part where Doyoung and Johnny harmonized, that at first listen they seemed to clash, but it sounded actually fine after a few listens. Maybe it's just that I've never heard them do it before.

And I think it's Doyoung's laugh at the end of the bridge? Oh my goodness I really love this too!

11. Promise You

MY FIRST LOVE AND MOST FAVORITE SONG IN THE ALBUM!!!

The first time I heard this from their NCIT Sharehouse Sitcom, I fell in love with the song already.

It sounds like something you'd feel from a warm, welcoming hug.

The lyrics are so beautiful and endearing. It's definitely a be-there-for-you type of song that will touch your heart.

It definitely sounds like a promise.

A song about platonic intimacy.

This really fits to be the closing song of the album. It's like the end of it but holds a promise that says “see you soon.”

Because they cherish their fans like that.

It's also like I've watched a movie with a happy ending, where the camera pans up to the clear sky and this song starts playing.

Speaking of ending, I would love to hear them sing this as an encore stage in their concert. You know, that moment just before the stage lights die down at the end of the concert where they send final blows of flying kisses to NCTzens. Then you come home smiling and crying.

This wasn't supposed to be this long since I originally planned to write this with just simple phrases and emojis but I got too engrossed lol. I also meant to include my own ratings but I figured it’s pointless since I can’t really decide about them hahaha

I really enjoyed the whole album and I love how they're progressively defining what NEO means by breaking through standards. It's not NCT music if it doesn't make you say "WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" But then you realize it’s stuck in your head and you’re enjoying it already.

✨ OVERALL RATING: 127/10 💚

if you’ve reached until here, thank you for letting me share you a braincell or two 💞

[xxsmokeyy]

Levi x Reader (F) It’s The Tea

genre: fluff, canon divergence — coffee shop setting

summary: a misplaced table and a pair of hands that had a knack for good tea; you wonder what brought Humanity’s Strongest to your shop.

wc: 6,262

part II

“I’ll have one flat white,” a customer says as she picks money from her coin purse. You give her a smile after receiving her payment, the exact amount saving you the task of calculating change.

“Coming right up.” And you make your way to the coffee beans to make the blend she ordered. She watches in patience as you skillfully maneuver around the counter, getting everything done along the process. You incline the porcelain a little to make for the finishing art, steamed milk piercing through the coffee and creating a signature shape. In no time, you hand her the drink on top of a saucer.

She silently nods as brief thanks, and as soon as she turns her back to you, you dart your eyes on a table of one by the far right windowpane. You carefully spectate her and what direction she’s going. She’s going to the table!

The make-do suspense keeps you on your toes as you look at her intently, breath slightly hitching, waiting for her to sit on the lone chair. The woman navigates across the room, heading straight for your wishful desires. Your hands fly to your mouth in shock, witnessing the life-changing moment unravel before your eyes. No way. She really is.

The cup of coffee on her left hand, she uses her right to move the chair to take a seat. But just when she’s about to pull it back, someone calls her from another table, waving at her excitedly.

You stand upright and alert while your scrutinizing gaze follow her movements. She looks at where the voice is coming from, and almost immediately, her face brightens upon seeing who. Her right hand lets go of the wooden furniture and proceeds to where the caller sits. You look at her destination and find three people on a table of four. It doesn’t take long before she takes the free seat and starts chatting with them.

Your body slumps back with a disappointed sigh. Looks like no one’s sitting there yet again.

It’s the closest call you’ve ever had after years of this shop’s existence. Why no one chooses to sit there is beyond you. Either your customers are not alone, or they are, but only to take out their orders. Actually, even if they’re alone, they’d take the table for two instead. Do they not want to look lonely that bad? You groan in annoyance.

The table consists of a small, circular table and a single chair by the window. In your mightiest opinion, it’s the perfect place to just sit down, enjoy a cup of hot coffee, and read a book. But nobody’s ever done that through the passing years, and you can only witness the table being neglected by people.

It irks you a little. Could there have been another way to maximize the space that stemmed from unproportional construction? Maybe it really is time to remove those. Maybe it’s not really a big deal.

You’ve been contemplating too many times replacing it with a plant vase or a decorative ornament to take up the space since it’s of no use anyway. But something just tells you you shouldn’t. Besides, just thinking thinking about feels costly.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, and before you know it, you’ve opened the store again, serving customers after customers. This time, you never gave the table another glance. Surprisingly enough, you spent the whole night debating with yourself on what decoration you should fill the space with. A nice bookshelf would’ve been good, but you decided to go with a monstera plant to make use of the window right by it. Not until your day off, though, which is still on Sunday.

Having consecutively served around six customers and cleaned used tables, you sit and take a breather, resting your eyes by reading a book to let a couple minutes go by.

You slowly get sucked into the story, the marvelous art of prose bringing you into the plot’s little universe. The way the writer used the most fitting descriptive words possible astounds you, making a smile of enjoyment involuntarily creep up your lips. Somehow, you think writing is similar to making coffee, mixing different elements to create the perfect blend, the sole goal of making an exquisite taste that will leave people aching for more? Oh, and they both smell good, books and coffee. A chuckle leaves your lips.

Just when you’re deep in thought, things starting to stir up in the narration, someone speaks in front of you.

“One black tea,” a stern voice curtly orders, interrupting your peace. Harshly brought back to reality, you rise to your feet to resume to work. First tea of the day, huh?

Sure, your shop is known for its good coffee, but your tea can put up for a competition, too. It’s just that these days, coffee is more on the popular side, since tea can be made in almost any household now.

You close your book to attend to the customer, but not without leaving a bookmark on the current page. When you look at him, you almost freeze in your tracks. Well if it isn’t Humanity’s Strongest himself!

A pair of dazing stale eyes bore into your own with an unreadable expression and you compose yourself. Crap, you must have been caught giggling to yourself. You feel heat speedily cover your cheeks, turning you to a blushing mess. How shameful.

“Pardon me,” you excuse, clearing your throat before telling him the price. He wordlessly fishes for his wallet and pays. He does find you a bit weird, laughing at nothing, but pays it no more mind. He’s supposed to be on leisure, not meddling with some brat’s uncanny actions.

As you turn your back to make his beverage, you squint your eyes in loss of face. It really is the Captain Levi, and you probably looked like a creep in his eyes. Now what will become of your shop’s repute?

You shove the thought to the back of your head and start working. The ravenhead watches back as you work your hands into making a, hopefully, good blend. Your heart is beating wildly inside your chest like it’s about to jump off your rib cage, but you try to ignore it. The thought of a widely known persona such as him inside your very shop is crazy. To what do you even owe this pleasure?

Oh well, you’ll just pour your heart into making his tea, that way you might erase his ridiculous impression of you in his head. Hey! What’s so bad about giggling while reading? your subconscious tries to defend while you strain the boiled tea leaves into a clean china. The earthly smell hits your nose, making you want one, too.

You smile as you hand over the teacup. “Thank you for your service,” you add, even going as far as bowing. The moment the phrase escapes your lips, you regret it right away. Chills shoot up your spine. It sounds so awkward and unnecessary, but should you just treat the Captain like any other people knowing he’s done so much for your country?

Your cheeks flush into a faint, pink color. Thankfully, you’re slightly angled downwards, he might not see. Levi only eyes you for a second before nodding and taking the cup of tea in his hands, his calloused fingers grazing your hands fleetingly.

When you hear his footsteps fade, you rise and rub a palm against your face. You hesitantly take a glance toward the Captain, and shock takes over your whole system. To be totally honest, you never thought you’d see the day someone would sit on that table.

He looks perfectly placed on the table, like it’s reserved a long time just for him. He’s in civillian clothes, probably to not attract a lot of people. The sunlight gives his face a pretty sheen, the air from the window blowing lightly on his dark fringes. Your heart continues to skip several beats for no clear reason. Maybe that is the reason why your instincts keep telling you to not replace it.

Meanwhile, Levi sips on the freshly brewed tea, the strong flavor staining on his tongue just right. As he occupies his mind somehwere else, the taste hits better. Everything feels evenly distributed, the base smooth and pleasant, the amount of water not brimming. The temperature isn’t so bad as well.

Then and there, he guesses you source fine leaves from the innermost walls, which is a luxury at this point, not to mention your non-overpriced charge.

Not bad, he thinks.

You’re dumbstruck as you sit back in awe. You weren’t able to decipher what he’s thinking, but you know for sure he doesn’t hate it from seeing that he emptied the whole thing and left a generous tip.

You grab your tray and proceed to cleaning up the table he previously seated on, the whole decision of shopping for a plant on Sunday going down the drain.

—

It’s been a whole month since the Captain’s visit, and you think of the once in a lifetime moment often, and at times randomly. You sure as heck won’t be removing the table now that something has happened.

“Thank you,” you say as you hand the cup of coffee, serving the last one for the queue. It’s a late, cloudy afternoon, looking like it’s about to shower, and the shop is pretty dull. Well, that only means you can read more.

“Is this the shop they say sells well?” you hear someone from the ordering area. “Yeah, you go ahead,” they converse. You’re making coffee for yourself at the moment and you can’t peer to look at whose voice it is.

“What? You do it!”

“Just go! We don’t have time!”

“What the fuck? You’re the one holding the knife, aren’t you?!” a man shouts in a whisper. You can’t hear crystal clear due to being far into the counter, although you know they must be disturbing the atmosphere.

Vexed by their rowdiness, you turn around and stop making the blend. You walk to the front of the counter, “Excuse me, please lower your—”

“Give me all your money, lady. Let’s transact in peace so nobody gets hurt,” the man grabs your collar, knife pointed straight into your neck. Another man of his companion moves to the side to cover their actions. You don’t feel the sharp edge prick your skin due to intense panic.

You look around frantically, worried if there are other people harmed. To your relief, they seem to not notice anything, if you can even call that relieving. Now there must be no saving you.

“It’s alright, we won’t bring someone else into this, just do what we ask,” the other guy says, wide, haunting eyes looking straight into you. You feel cold sweat drip from your forehead.

“Now hand us what you got.”

On the other hand, Levi finishes with his errands around the capital and stumbles within your shop’s vicinity. Walking mindlessly, he checks the skies to tell the time, but sees the dark clouds instead. It seems it’s about to pour.

He’s already in front of your shop, but the threatening rain will be bigger trouble, he might get stranded if he stops by. Plus, he probably didn’t bring enough money, so he’s got no choice but head back now.

Just when he’s about to leave, his peripheral vision miraculously catches sight of your horrified expression through the window, putting him to an abrupt halt. He turns to see better, and finds two men roughing you up while trying to hide the commotion.

He clicks his tongue and spins to turn away. It’s not his business anymore, it’s for the Military Police to deal with. They might be loan sharks for all he knows, and you’d be held entirely accountable for that.

Unable to take the view of the knife pointed to your neck out of his head, he sighs defeatedly and eventually discovers himself inside the store, else it’d slowly eat at his conscience.

“Oi, what’s going on here?” he questions with a firm voice, turning heads his way.

“It’s Captain Levi from the Survey Corps!”

“What a lucky day!”

People stir up upon seeing the Captain to which he only ignores, full attention on you and the two criminals.

The robber without a weapon quickly turns around to check, shaking in fear. As he makes terrifying eye contact with the Captain, he makes haste for the door in desperate hopes of escaping, but to no avail. Levi grabs the back of the poor guy’s head and slams it against an empty table, putting him to deep sleep. Then turning to your armed assaulter, Levi closes in with big steps and takes the knife down before swinging the side of his hand, striking a nerve on the man’s neck to knock him out.

Levi perceives they’re complete amateurs and wonders why they even steal. Atleast one of them tried to run, he thinks as he looks down on the passed out crooks.

You’re not exactly sure if your heart calmed down or speeded up even more—maybe both, but you feel safe and more at ease.

Tying the last knot, he stands from his kneeled form and dusts his hands off to rid himself of the filth.

You only watch silently, mind clouded in confusion of what to do. Captain Levi came just in time and saved you and your shop of possible bankruptcy. Say, it could have been the worst timing considering you haven’t cleared your cash box for weeks now. You’re reminded of how much you owe the Captain.

“Don’t worry, they’ll be out cold for a while, just call the MP’s on them,” Levi assures before taking a glance at you and fails to understand your expression, your face looks like it’s leaking shit in his opinion.

You look at the two robbers dozing off tied together by the help of Levi and your spare rope before giving your savior another bow. “Thank you so much!” you exclaim and raise your head to meet his fierce gaze.

“And sorry for the trouble, people around here can get belligerent, especially to us business owners,” you add.

He observes you from head to toe, eyes particularly lingering on your neck, and you blush in embarrassment, feeling his hot stare.

“Is there—?”

He takes something from his pocket and offers you a handkerchief which you cluelessly accept. You later on realize what it’s for, finally feeling a sting on your neck. You wipe the bleeding area and see trails of crimson on your apron as well.

With no reason to stay any longer, Levi steers to leave, but is just in time to witness the rain pour down heavily, big droplets washing against the windows. He sighs, it’s just as he guessed.

You, on contrast, get an idea to show your gratitude, feeling a physical candle light up in your brain. “Captain Levi, please stay and let the rain pass while I brew you some coffee,” you negotiate with strong willed eyes, fixed on returning him a favor. It’s the least you could do from within your limited skills, and you’d like it if he’d accept. Actually, you won’t accept if he rejects, fully wanting to pay him back atleast a tad.

He looks back at you, slightly surprised. You seem like a more persistent person now rather than an easily flustered mess. Could he be so insensitive as to decline your generous offer after seeing your firm resolve? But more importantly, coffee? Could he be so thick-skinned as to ask for something else other than that?

When he stays quiet, you decide to go ahead and make him a drink from one of your premium coffee beans, but you’re put to a stop as he speaks.

“I’d prefer tea.”

Oh, right. He did ask for black tea a month back, didn’t he? You give him a smile and a thumbs up of approval before turning your back to make his tea.

Levi massages his temples and takes a seat, eyeing the immobilized crooks and the outside, thinking what he got himself into. It won’t be so bad to stay for a while and let the rain ease down, right?

You wait for the water to boil before dropping a bunch of mint leaves, then waiting for it to simmer. You prepare a porcelain cup and saucer and pour in the hot liquid, adding honey for a natural sweetener. You mix in a couple droplets of lemon to balance the flavor and you’re good to go.

You set the tea on his chosen table of two, giving the free seat a momentary glimpse. You wonder how it would feel like to have a proper conversation with Captain Levi, only to quickly dismiss the thought of joining him as you hear someone call you from the counter. Thankfully, people are back to minding their business and don’t bother the Captain anymore. You excuse yourself and return to work, still a couple hours away from closing time.

Levi sits back and enjoys the tea you made, soon learning it’s a fresh peppermint tea. Though it’s only the second time he’s having your brew, he doesn’t know why he already has high expectations. The choice of blend is perfect for a rainy day, and it’s exactly what he would have made when he returned back to the headquarters. You don’t really look like someone who prefers tea, but he’s impressed nevertheless.

He sips on the cup, letting the weather pass and the taste line his tongue. A variety of things occupy his mind involuntarily and before he knows it, the rain has calmed down into a shower.

He stands to leave but suddenly notices an umbrella left on his table. When did that get there? He takes a glimpse at you and finds you looking back at him with curious, alert eyes like that of a cat, immediately averting your gaze and resuming to pick up the dirtied tableware onto your tray.

Levi confirms it’s from you, and it’s another one of your acts of gratitude. He’s left with no choice and grabs it, wraps his slender fingers around the handle, and takes his leave.

Satisfied, you sigh in relief as you watch his back drift into the darkness. You look at the handkerchief in the pocket of your apron, smiling. Despite rumors of him being an unrelenting leader and a ruthless thug that stretched way back, the Captain is a kind man, isn’t he? If there really is such thing as coincidence, you’d like to consider yourself lucky for having experienced it.

—

About two more weeks pass when Levi finds himself hooked into the sweet aroma of the tea you make, the ambience of your shop’s environment, and something else he can’t put a name on. In actuality, he may or may not be using your umbrella as an excuse to go to your store right now.

He takes a glance at his hand holding the same umbrella. He briefly questions himself what he’s doing but pushes the thought aside with the use of his well thought of excuse. True enough, he can’t just go around using other people’s possession, can he?

He begins to sense the growing familiarity of your shop as he closes in. The choice of location being just at the mouth of the city, the distinct line between rural and urban is visibly emphasized.

As Levi enters through the saloon door, his eyes almost immediately find your form, leisurely reading while leaning on the counter, back turned against the entrance, your hair up in a braided bun which he finds neat. He clicks his tongue as he approaches to order.

“It’s easier to mug you that way,” he says and you jolt in surprise. Recognizing the stone cold voice, you spin to see the Captain in front of you, inside your very shop once again. This is no coincidence anymore!

“Captain Levi!” you greet with a beam, utterly delighted to see him. “Pleasant afternoon, what can I get you?” you ask and look him straight in the face. He’s in casual clothes, so you guess it’s another one of his day off’s. His sombre eyes of a unique bluish grey color take on your gaze fiercely. It’s true that the eyes convey one’s entire personality, as you feel his menace even though he doesn’t intend to display it.

“Black tea,” he says without a hitch, giving you the exact amount of money, and you proceed to your working space. Boiling of water, straining of tea leaves, pouring it into clean china; as you hand it to him, they start to resemble a routine.

He goes ahead and takes the corner table, and you couldn’t be any happier, thinking he seems to like the spot, choosing it among every other free seats. Levi takes a sip, and enjoys it with no wonder. You didn’t fail to make an exquisite blend.

A couple moments later, he’s still there. While everyone else chitchats with their company, he sits in silence with his beverage, ocassionally looking at the sky freely laid out by the window. He’s never really one to catch up with the bulletin and read daily papers, he’d prefer books for that matter.

As you wipe with a rag the empty tabletop just beside him, you see him looking at the window, cup of tea in hand. He, however, feels your stare, and wordlessly slides an umbrella on the table without batting you an eye. You recognize it as yours and take a step towards him.

“You better not have arrived home drenched that night,” he says. It’s only until he returned to the headquarters that he had realized you must have given him your only umbrella.

A chuckle leaves your mouth, aren’t you concerned. “I might have.” He clicks his tongue.

You grab it in your hands and follow his gaze, soon looking vacantly at the view as well. “You can see the skies from there, right?” you ask, earning a low hum in response.

“I wonder how far they stretch from outside on… Some say they’re boundless,” the words unconsciously slip from your mouth as you watch the clouds move. Something about relatively slow afternoons just hypnotize you to no end.

Levi shifts his gaze to your figure upon hearing a frame of your mind, finding a glimmer of ambition in the mesmerizing pools of your eyes. He can hear your train of thoughts out loud, while you wonder if you could ever get to experience the outside world. He remembers a couple friends thinking the same thing way back, and he realizes, it’s people like you that he hates to see drift away, one of those whom he feels he has to protect, though it’s not like you know each other to great extent.

He brings his cup to his lips and frankly speaks, “It’s not pretty out there.”

His words interrupt you from your daze, making you look at him. You notice he grips the teacup oddly, holding it around the mouth instead of its handle. You heave out a shallow sigh. “Figured you’d say that,” you say with a sad smile. It’s undeniable, coming from him.

You fish something from the pocket of your apron and leave it on his table, then making your way back to the counter. A seemingly little exchange of borrowed objects. He eyes his cleaned dry handkerchief and leaves a comment before you can stray farther, “It does seem endless.”

The corners of your lips upturn into a grateful smile. He really is soft. “Thank you.”

He doesn’t know exactly what you’re thanking him for.

—

Time and time passed, and he always comes every week without fail. Sometimes, when days are light, he even visits twice a week. You could say you have developed quite a relationship with the Captain, though not something that can be considered close to sentimental. The distance is still present, but you’d have small talks here and there, sometimes you’d lend him your books just so he doesn’t bore himself to death, or maybe so he’d stay a little longer.

You gradually learn to read his moods through the language of his orders. You find that he’s more of a tea lover based solely from the fact that he never once asked for coffee. Black tea is his regular, Oolong tea is when something probably turns out good or successful, since the price a little higher and you guess it’s his little way of celebrating, Chamomile tea when something is roughly off, you figure as he never speaks excessively when he orders it.

You never end up joining him, though. Of course, he always takes the table of one, there isn’t room for another.

“The usual,” Levi briefly says and hands you the exact charge. Never faltering, you smile and continue to make black tea for the man. “You still haven’t hired a helper,” he points out and you hum in agreement.

“I can manage by myself,” you inform as you stir his tea. You’ve managed years by your own, what use is there for an extra hand? Besides, it’s not like your shop gets hoarded by huge amounts of people. Coffee shops attract a moderate number, and you’re fine with that.

You slide the finished drink to Levi and he accepts, heading to his own little corner. Ever since he first came, you labeled the corner seat as his own, and you never thought of removing it again. He doesn’t seem like a very social person, like he’s a man of few words if talking is unnecessary. You always wonder how it must feel to have a conversation with such a persona; must be novel and inspiriting. Problem is, you don’t have the guts to initiate it. You don’t want to be overlooked as a fangirl of the sort. If possible, you want to converse casually.

It’s the looming distance between a coffee shop owner and a country’s renowned soldier that obstructs you from feeling on level as him.

Still, you don’t know why you’re currently grabbing a book from one of your drawers and why you’re currently making your way toward him, tray still in hand to clean afterwards as an excuse.

“Fancy a book?” you offer as you set one of your favorite titles on his table. He darts his eye on it and studies the cover for a brief moment, seeing if it’s up to his standards. It doesn’t really pique his interest, but you made an effort, and it’d be of great companion with the tea.

Levi accepts the book in his hands and starts reading, later learning about the main character’s introduction. “You have a lot of books,” he comments out of observation. This isn’t the first time you offered him one, nor is it just the second. He’s come to a conclusion that you have a liking for it.

You hum in agreement. “I like collecting them, but they’re still not enough to fill a shelf, though. I’m thinking about putting one here,” you say, already envisioning where to place it.

He almost immediately thought of the Headquarters’ library. A lot of books there just get covered in dust, unmoved. Cadets these days don’t take reading as hobby. He considers the idea of bringing some for your shop to make use of it. “I can hand you some,” he says, flipping the page.

Your eyes widen in an equal mix of delight and surprise. He’d go that far? For what? Is the Captain really like this? “Really? From where?” you try to hide the excitement in your voice, but it doesn’t escape his ears. Well isn’t that great? An upgrade for your shop and a chance to see him again. Not that he’s not showing himself enough.

“Scouts’ library,” he says, flipping another page, and you’re deep in thought. Is that allowed? Do I have to pay?

Just a couple of pages in, he seems partially engrossed. The protagonist is a traveller who encounters metaphorical life obstacles and is most likely to find self-discovery through it, that’s as much as he knows.

He notices you still haven’t left and bats you an eye. You look troubled and euphoric at the same time, he couldn’t understand entirely what you’re thinking but he has a clue. “It’s free. Some of it are old anyway,” he informs, which seems to bring your face relief. So his hunch turns out to be right, you were thinking of the burden.

“Oh, I wasn’t thinking that!” you deny right away, waving your hand dismissively, cheeks blushing. You definitely were.

He stays quiet, and you feel ashamed. Does he think you’re a cheapskate? Or thick-faced? Hey, he’s also reading, you must be a distraction. Oh god, how can you make acquaintances with him now?

You aim to leave and give him his space, afraid that you might be bugging him for too long now, but Levi suddenly speaks just in time.

“You have an allurement for things about the outside,” he asserts in heed. When you don’t answer, he continues, “It’s not all rainbows out there, you know.” His perception of you still stands as he’s continuously reminded by you of people who go through great measures to reach their dreams, and those he lost due to wanting to seek for more.

You don’t know if it’s a positive connotation or a negative but he doesn’t sound so enthusiastic. Your grip on the tray tightens. The way he puts it… is he trying to make you drop your interest?

“I do know that. I just,” you pause, contemplating what to say. You’re stuck with I just want to dream, is it so bad? or I just want to experience the forbidden, I’m sick of being stuck in this birdcage, or an impulsive one: I just want to see, would you bring me outside?

Instead, you settle with “I wouldn’t know, I’m a mere shop owner. I don’t have the chance to sit and talk with someone who’s gone beyond the walls.” Like you, sir.

He studies you as you look back at him with firm eyes. Brat, you already live a life with fair peace. The resolve in your eyes didn’t waver, not one bit. He thinks, will you be content with knowing about the outside? Levi heaves out a sigh and closes the book before leisurely taking a sip on his tea.

“Maybe if you’d put another chair, we’ve been talking for months now,” he then says, an even amount of sarcasm in his tone, enough to not come off as rude.

Dumbfounded, you gawk at the Captain for a good five seconds, eyes slightly enlarged in surprise before laughing your head off, turning a couple heads your way for a fleeting second.

“What’s funny?” he quizzes, thin brows furrowed together, and you wave him off, wiping your euphoric tears away.

“Well, I didn’t know it’d be that simple, Captain!” you giggle, eyes genuinely happy and hearty. Just put a chair in? In all seriousness, he doesn’t exactly look approachable with those half lidded dark eyes and a permanent scowl now, does he? That’s one of the primary reasons you have trouble making advances to him.

Levi looks at you, taking in the undeniably beautiful sight before clicking his tongue and averting his gaze.

He’s absolutely certain he paid no attention to the way you tucked your hair behind your ear in a timid manner, the way your silky locks sway gracefully by the wind’s cool breeze, the way your delicate fingers held to the tray tightly as you try to compose yourself, and the way your glowing eyes looked back at him with a gentle gaze once you’ve finally calmed down. Yes, he likes to think he paid no extra mind to those details.

“Tch, did you think I’d bite you or something?” he deadpans, taking another sip on his cup.

“No, absolutely not!” You absolutely did. “I’ll put another chair some other day,” you say and wave him goodbye upon seeing a customer enter, returning to your working place.

He shakes his head lightly and finishes his cup, bringing the book with him as he takes his exit. The smile in your face never disappeared throughout the day, chest booming in an unrelenting speed.

Sunday comes, and you decide to do a general cleaning. You also buy a small shelf from the nearest furniture shop and have it delivered, filling it with some of your books. You squeeze in a chair to the corner by adjusting the other tables’ distances, and you can only laugh at yourself for not thinking of this long ago. You think, why not just sit on a table of two? but figure maybe the Captain’s already grown fond to the spot.

You feel like a schoolgirl as you mindlessly prepare things to talk about and questions to ask. How much does he know? Are titans really that big? Is the ocean real? What brought him to your shop?

But after that, you never saw him again. You think maybe he’ll arrive later or the next day, but more weeks pass, and not even his shadow appeared.

The slowest weeks achingly turn to months. You’ve been awfully attentive to the morning papers since then, looking for the slightest news about him, or their operations. You think it’s completely understandable, being perfectly aware that the Captain is a busy man. You know that visiting little tea shops isn’t actually a luxury that a guy like him affords, but it tugs at your heart a teeny bit, a small part of you involuntarily longing for him. Eitherway, you just wish for his and his people’s safety.

About five months have passed since you last saw him. Levi, on the other hand, has gotten busy those said times. Expeditionary Operations came after another, and he’s buried with work once they arrive back. His squad got promoted to Special Operations Squad, and intensive training was mandatory. The amount of free time he had back then was generous, and in those five months, he had no time to slack off.

But he never forgot you, every single time he drinks tea, he starts doubting his own blend as compared to yours.

“That’s the last of it,” Levi says as he hands over piles and piles of paperwork to the Commander. Erwin only grunts his response.

The ravenhead contemplates for a few moments before finally speaking, “I’ll be out. I’ll return before dinner,” he informs and turns his back, words more of a statement than asking for permission. The higher ranking officer only stares at him as his figure leaves the room. Fair enough, he’s done with his current tasks as a Captain and it’s his first day off in a while. He leaves him be.

Levi dismisses his tan jacket and fixes his cravat as he heads to the shop he favors. He ends up forgetting the books he’s supposed to give but pushes it aside. Oh well, just another excuse for him to visit.

Minutes of walking on foot, steps a little quicker than normal, and he finally arrives, the ambience hugging at his aura. It’s been long since he last set his foot here. He pushes at the saloon door, a ton of improvisations greeting his sight. The interior is now painted a beige color, the warmth going along with the wooden accents. You’ve added the shelf you said you wanted to put, a fair number of books in it. Lastly, his preferred corner seat already has two chairs opposite to each other.

Your back is turned against the door again, leaning on the counter as you occupied yourself with a book. He notices that your hair has gotten longer in a span of months. He shortly wonders what else has changed.

“Oi, the usual,” a familiar voice says, stoic tone resonating in your ears and you immediately feel your soul light up, like it’s been ages since you last felt so giddy. A chaotic mix of worry, excitement, longing, and bliss surges all throughout your body.

When you face the stale eyed man, your tingling heart shamelessly speeds up, a smile rising on your lips.

—

You wave him farewell as he leaves, and as he cuts eye contact, heat shoots up into your cheeks like crazy, which he totally misses out on.

One step out and Levi feels the presence of a stalker just around the alley. He gives her a bored look and starts walking away, which she then reveals herself and follows suit.

“So this is you and your secret lover’s getaway, huh?” Hange teases, obviously aiming to pry for more. Now what, she’s spying on him? This insane woman.

“Don’t be ridiculous, she has good tea,” Levi answers in nonchalance, staring right ahead the road. The woman makes silly noises at his response, similar to those sounds only she can produce when learning new discoveries about titans.

“Precisely,” the redhead says in satisfaction, nodding her head with her hands stroking her chin as if she got the answer she’s waiting for.

He shoves her actions aside, couldn’t care less about whatever conclusion she came up with. But no matter how much he keeps convincing his subconscious, it’s the tea that draw me in, he just can’t bring himself to believe in it.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

On Family

An excerpt from Memoirs of a Flesh Eater, never published

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One question that I see asked in the news a lot is why there are still any ghouls left. We have a distinctive, high-impact feeding habit that requires us to stay within human society, where we are both outnumbered and outgunned. This has essentially been the case since the development of automatic firearms, and you’ve continued to develop more and more effective methods of killing us since then. How are we not extinct?

The talking heads always have lurid theories to propose. My personal favorite one, which comes up every couple of years or so, is that the government is secretly breeding us so that they have an excuse to send secret police out into the general populace for nefarious purposes pretending to be exterminators. As if they’d need the excuse {Editing Note: I’ve gotta keep my political views out of this except where they directly pertain to ghouls. No unnecessarily alienating people}. The most commonly accepted one seems to be that we just have a lot of children to compensate for our high mortality rate. Spatha calls that an R strategy, I think. Scarlet calls it the Rabbit Theory. Whatever you call it, it’s wrong. Our species has survived off the strength and compassion of our families.

Contrary to popular impressions, our “nuclear” families are pretty small. My understanding is that 1-4 children is the typical range. I’m the only confirmed only child in my friend group. Scarlet’s the youngest of three, Scorpio’s a middle child, Spatha avoids talking about her home life, and Kestrel doesn’t know her biological parents. There’s a couple of pressures that keep our family sizes small. First, it’s challenging to feed too many ghouls at once, especially ghoul children, who we don’t want worrying about where they’re going to get their meals. Second, the majority of ghoul parents are going to end up as single parents before their kids are fully grown. Either one of them is going to get killed, or they’re going to have to separate to go on the run from the exterminators; and, of course, we do still break up and get divorced sometimes.

These pressures are exaggerated by our general lack of an extended family. It’s not that all of our aunts and uncles get hunted down - even if they did, we’d still have cousins - but it’s not safe for us to have traceable extended families. When exterminators identify a ghoul, the first thing they do is put out a bulletin for all known blood relatives. The most common tactic to avoid this is, when multiple siblings make it to adulthood, at least one of them changes their identity and moves away. This isn’t always done, but it’s done often enough that document forging is a widespread and well-respected profession in the Society. It’s useful for dodging exterminators in other circumstances too. My mom and I changed our names and moved cities after exterminators killed my dad when I was 4.

Between that and the sheer number of out-and-out orphans in our Society, it should come as no surprise that we’ve developed a new family structure to fill in the gaps. The terminology we use for this structure is variable, but the term I’ve always used is “household”. A household is a sort of adopted extended family, typically formed by and centered around one particularly resourceful ghoul called a patron. The patron takes whichever ghouls they choose under their wing, introduces them to each other, and helps them coordinate their talents and resources so that they all have everything they need. Most obviously, this means making sure they all have a supply of flesh, but there are numerous other kinds of support a household can provide. I doubt I need to emphasize again how valuable a reliable source of companionship and safety is, but patrons typically have access to connections and contacts that can help the other members of the household accomplish their goals.

My household, for example, was founded by our patron Yaga. It consists of her, her adopted daughter Kestrel, my mom and I, my friends Scarlet and Scorpio and their immediate families, and four other older ghouls. There’s also Spatha, who has been reluctant to fully join the household but acts like a member in most contexts. Three of our members have reliable flesh sources, and Yaga coordinates with other ghouls to find supplementary sources to ensure that she always has a surplus on hand. This keeps all of us well-fed and lets her distribute the rest to those in need in exchange for favors and cachet that the rest of us can use for our own advancement. In turn, the rest of us pitch in for odd jobs here and there, mostly on flesh-gathering jobs of one kind or another, and we look out for each other. I’ve done a bit of babysitting with Kestrel, for example, and Yaga was able to get me and Scarlet summer jobs to save up for college.

Babysitting, by the way, is one of the most valuable services a household can provide to a ghoul parent. Given our mortality rate, it probably isn’t a surprise that there’s a good bit of cultural pressure to have children, and have them quick. Ghoul children are… a lot. When we’re newborn, we’re pretty much like human babies. Ghoul babies can nurse from ghoul mothers for awhile, which is a relief. They need to switch to flesh before their teeth come in, though, so that means flesh slurry, which is more complicated to make than you might think. For best results, you want a mix of blood, muscle tissue, organ tissue, and bone, especially marrow. We get better at pulling all our nutrients from just flesh as we mature, but babies aren’t as developed. Getting those varied tissues is a little more complicated than just getting flesh. Bone especially is challenging - more mature ghouls have no need for it, and it’s honestly kinda gross. You just have to hope that whoever you’re getting flesh from can start holding some bones for you. Not every source has easy access to bones. 

{Editing Note: I think I wrote bone too many times - it looks fake now. Bone. Bone.}

We get our ghoul teeth at the same time as our baby teeth. Our ghoul teeth fall out and are replaced too, but we keep growing new ones our whole lives, kinda like sharks. Funnily enough, I don’t think we grow extra human teeth, which seems like a strange way for evolution to take us, but what do I know, I’m not a biologist. At that point we can start eating regular flesh, and parents have the unenviable task of explaining to toddlers that they can’t just slide their teeth out whenever they want. Our other features come in a bit later - claws between 4 and 6, eyes with puberty. Let me tell you, the claws hurt coming in. I couldn’t hold a pencil for a month. My mom told the elementary school that I was deathly sick so she could keep me home, but I think Scarlet just pretended he’d broken both his hands and went in splints. I don’t envy him - stretching my claws did a lot to relieve the pain.

I’ll admit freely that, by our standards, I had a pretty charmed childhood. I fit into human society pretty easily, I had a mom who loved me and could provide for me, a patron and household to help pick up the slack, and ghoul friends my own age. I had the discipline to keep my true nature hidden from my human peers, and I don’t think I was even particularly traumatized by the pressure of performing humanity that much. I can safely attribute that to the fact that I had safe spaces throughout my life to let the charade drop. Most ghouls at least have that. Most, but not all.

Our integration into human society also means that we inevitably become entangled in human society. We become invested in the lives of our human peers, we befriend them, care about them. Sometimes we fall in love with them. Eating people seems like kind of a big secret to keep from a potential romantic partner - I certainly couldn’t manage it - but some ghouls form romantic relationships with humans nonetheless. Maybe some of these human partners eventually discover the truth and are willing to overlook it for the person they love, but I doubt it happens often. I’ve certainly never heard of it. I’ve heard of it going the other way, though, a human partner discovering the truth and reacting poorly. Someone always dies when that happens. I personally know a few ghouls who’ve dated humans, or are seriously involved with them. Frankly, it scares the hell out of me. I get that the heart wants what it wants, but some wants aren’t worth the risk.

{Editing Note: That last line feels… tense. Emotionally charged. Why? And should I change it?}

In my opinion, the gravest of these risks is what happens when a human and a ghoul decide they want to build a life together, but kids are already in the equation. The human-ghoul mixed family is probably the most toxic environment that a ghoul child could be raised in and conceivably survive. All that pressure of hiding your true nature from your peers as you grow up? That feeling of isolation that follows you everywhere you go among humans? All of the most crushing emotional turmoil I’ve described in this book so far? Imagine if there was no relief for that even at home with your family. I frankly have no idea how ghoul parents manage to feed themselves and their children without being caught, or how they manage to perform humanity so flawlessly and constantly that their literal immediate family never catches on. I don’t know how those children manage to survive to adulthood, but I imagine they have some seriously fucked up mental health problems by the time they do. Factor in the suspicion that they would inevitably face from our Society when they finally are able to join it properly - after all, who more likely to become a Judas or be Lost than a ghoul raised by humans? - and I’d be willing to bet most of them don’t make it out of their twenties.

Before we move on entirely from families in general and mixed families in particular, I’d like to take a quick aside to talk about “half-ghouls”. You hear about them in horror media fairly often, the biological child of a human and a ghoul. Authors love to ascribe all sorts of traits to these hypothetical creatures - greater and more monstrous than the sum of their parts, supernaturally strong and vicious, impossible to detect within human society, sometimes with traits that are blatantly impossible, like telepathy or mind control or just plain magic. All of that is obviously untrue, but it’s something of a point of contention as to whether or not a “half-ghoul” is even possible. None of the ghouls I’ve talked to seem to agree about whether it can happen, and a search of human medical literature was similarly inconclusive. Humans, at least, seem to think that it might be theoretically possible, but have never been able to verify it by observation or by medical experiment. Of the ghouls I know that have been romantically involved with humans, none of them have ever gotten a kid out of it. It’s one of those things where we just don’t know. If it were possible, I’m not even sure what the implications would be.

[phoebehalliwell]

I need u to explain something to me

Phoebe forgave Cole when he spent the whole season 3 trying to kill her because « Balthazar did it » and Cole «changed » (🤷🏻‍♀️). Like Balthazar and Cole were two differents entities and Cole was a victim (I used to think that was bullshit and Cole should have been killed in s3.) Phoebe was even dating him when he was a demon using his power for « good »

So Why did phoebe was so hell bent on killing him in s05 and say that he was evil when he was infected by the Source ? You could argue that Cole and the Source were also two entities ? And that he was under the influence of the Source / a victim ?

In s05,He even tried to use his demonic powers for « good », exactly like S3. I guess i don’t get why in s03, Cole was a « innocent That had to be saved » but in s05 he had to be killed ?

SHORT ANSWER:

LONG ANSWER: 2k under the cut

pt i - 1k so out of universe explanation like as we moved into s4 the show really favored these long overarching plotlines as opposed to something like s2 which really didn't have any big plot just vibes. inching back a lil further i think in s3 the introduction of a demon love interest was really like. like kinda bound to happen now that we've given pleo their type of happily ever after the will they won't they is over the heavens forbid it is over now we need another relationship to add a bit of spice to the mix and what better than like. a demon? so you run phole and they're kinda. your main source of drama consistently throughout the season yes there's the vague looming threat of the source but really it's phoebe and cole weaving together thru these episodes putting meat on these bones. i think the first faux-vanquish was bound to happen, because like the relationship is still so fresh and you haven't even got to the demon-tries-to-be-good point yet you're still in the heat and angst of betrayal like baby. there are still miles to go here. there's no way you're ending this yet. (which like. yeah i agree like. in universe cole totally should have been killed in s3. also out of universe bc like. i can't say i was hella in love with what was going on over there lmao. whoops.)

anyways. we hit season 4 and you have cole being good demon! yeah! but this whole time you kinda know what you're leading up to like the source is being name checked a bit too much here chekhov's demon if you will if the source doesn't actually you know fuckin show up and try to kill them this season well then what the fuck is he doing? but then. what do you do once u kill the source like end ur show r u joking moniee baby let's add some drama ooh u know what what if cole the demon became the source. which i think like. you need someone to become the source someone close to them and you can't do a sister (or can you?) because u need the power of three also what r u gonna kill a sister and you can't really do leo just because you've made him such a softboi healer kind emotional type. but u know who's dark n mysterious with an evil past who is very much tied up in the lives of our girls? cole.

so i think like from the beginning they knew they were doing source cole because how do u pick between the love of ur life and ur sisters the drama so on so forth i think they knew they needed phoebe married to cole before they went all in because you really need that he’s family too pull. but out of universe for the life of me i cannot tell if they were implying cole was actually evil or not. my personal conspiracy theory is that some people in the writers room were like cole is misunderstood and really trying to be good and others were like okay he was underworld’s top demon for 100 years maybe reflect on that?? and both these views are heading towards the same goal (source!cole) but have different opinions on who cole is beyond that plotline. but idk!

and then as a personal opinion i think the source plotline really bogged down s4 like. :/. and i think the show kinda felt that too that this wasn’t really sustainable the show is charmed after all named after the charmed ones if you have a show where there are just two witches one of them’s trying to kill their sister the other just got here and then our third sister is like. queen of hell, but is kinda being a bimbo about it (respectfully) like. that’s not charmed. it could be A Show, but it’s not this show, which i repeat. is charmed. which i think is why they immediately backtracked on the s5 intention to do Phoebe: Queen of Hell and then like snorted a line and powered out the quickest way to get phoebe back in the fold, to which the conclusion was: him or us. the whole core of the drama how do you pick between the love of your life and your sisters like. better decide the answer. you only get one. and obvi it’s gotta be the sisters; again: this is charmed also you already played your back pocket half-sister card you only get to use that move once. which means. sisters have been chosen. cole has to go.

but!! everyone loves cole everyone loves phoebe and cole they’re the ones bringing like. the heat the passion the sex appeal because respectfully piper and leo Are Not they’re the domestic fantasy and paige just got here so she’s not really ready to shoulder that burden quite yet. so like. phoebe and cole am i rite. let’s bring back cole. but u already had phoebe definitively chose her sisters you already had them vanquish cole you can’t really revert back to the same him vs them thing that powered s4 because you already know the answer. (i guess. again this is all just speculation i was not there when this was happening i was 5. wait actually. okay yeah s5 started airing in september 2002 i was 2. lmao.) but you’ve brought cole back what are you going to do with him what’s his main motivation. well. his motivation at first was kill phoebe. then it was i’m in love with phoebe. like it’s always been phoebe. so clearly it must be phoebe again. cole will do anything!! to get back phoebe. but it’s too late. phoebe has already made the irrevocable decision to be with her sisters. so therefore. cole will be obsessed with her and she will reject him at every turn. we’re gonna give cole a lot of screentime in this futile and cringe chase for love tho why? bc julian <3 what a guy. hey should he date paige?

pt ii - 1k and then an In Universe explanation let’s get started. phoebe has had no longer term relationships. definitely no on screen ones. the closest thing we got to any implication of serious romance was clay in s1. she didn’t get anywhere w eric bc his mind got wiped, the cupid was obvi a no-go from the beginning, and billy Isn’t Real. so this relationship with cole is really like the first serious relationship she’s had in a minute and she fell hard and she fell fast, but could you blame her? cole was literally her perfect guy he built himself to be Literally her perfect guy. and when you find out your perfect guy is a demon like. how do you rationalize that. because quite frankly he has had many opportunities to kill you can he hasn’t so like. he can’t be that bad. it can’t all be fake. you really hope it’s not all fake. and then, like, of course, there’s the belthazor element. like. he literally has a demon form. turns big red and scary. phoebe’s no demonologist. i’m sure she can just rationalize that as a jekyll and hyde situation cole is just some innocent strapped along for the hellish ride manned by some evil beast. but around her, he can conquer that demon. because that’s a demon. belthazor’s a demon. cole is a human cole is good cole is an innocent and he had no power over those things. so i think that’s the mentality that phoebe really carried thru to s4, and then cole becomes human. and then cole becomes the source, but you don’t know it. and cole really tries to fight the source when he’s with her you know true love is the greatest force blah blah blah so like. odds are phoebe doesn’t notice. a) we’re still kind of settling into the “new cole” because he hasn’t been demon-free well, like, ever, so u need to figure out what that looks like and then b) now that he doesn’t have his jekyll-side or whatever you two are free you can be in love and god do you want to be in love you want something that’s yours something to hold on to because lately it kind of seems that everything you love is being ripped away so god please can you just have this one thing that’s yours. so i think phoebe really overlooked any signs of cole’s source possession. she only saw cole. her cole. the man she loved. Which Means When Shit Really Hit The Fan, phoebe doesn’t see this as the source possession finally taking over she has no idea of the internal battle cole has been facing inside himself (and then not to mention phoebe is also kinda drugged up rn on pure evil so we’re not in the Best headspace) phoebe kinda just seeing this as the mask being ripped off. all the clues she’s been ignoring over the past couple months have been finally exposed: cole is evil. (which: the clues actually read as cole is possessed By evil. but who’s gonna tell her that? the seer? no one else knows if anyone should know it’s phoebe but she was so busy trying to pretend everything was perfect that she was finally gonna get to be happy that she missed the source living right under her nose so. whoops.)

and then entering s5 i think phoebe keeps with the mentality that cole was actually evil this whole time. like she didn’t know he was possessed she didn’t know when this possession started so the natural conclusion is cole is just Like This and she’s a bimbo. blinded by love. and i think this really starts to backtrack and put everything else in a negative light because like. had she not been trying to save cole prue wouldn’t have died. also. cole never explicitly told her that belthazor was a separate entity. she had just assumed. because she thought she knew him. but clearly she didn’t because he was the fucking source of all evil and she couldn’t tell because evidently she didn’t know cole at all. he and belthazor were probably just one and the same. he let her believe that, let her see what he wanted to see, so he could have what he wanted. her. all to himself. no one else no other life but him. and i mean again who’s gonna refute that i think phoebe really builds up an echo chamber in her head calling herself and idiot calling cole evil and promising to never fall for it again that by the time cole shows up ready to give it one last shot at good, phoebe’s like no. i’ve seen what you are before. and i’m not gonna get another sister killed i’m not gonna fall for evil again. because!! cole trying to be good in s5 looks the same as cole trying to be good in s3 s4. cole being in love with phoebe in s5 looks the same as cole being in love with phoebe in s3 s4 (actually it’s a lil bit more bonkers and possessive but u get the point). and this is because he was! he was in love with phoebe he was trying to be good, but phoebe, post-source!cole almost killing her sisters, has reached to conclusion that cole that whole time was consciously evil, because she was never able to tell the difference between her cole and source!cole, given the fact he always actively suppressed that side around her. around her, cole never changed, despite getting progressively more evil to the world around him, because his love for phoebe fought it off. which really was the downfall. because if she had seen the markers and seen him as something other than her cole, maybe this whole thing could have been salvaged. but she was blinded by her love for roughly like what. two three months? and in her head reached the conclusion that she was actually blinded by love the entire time. so rather than fall for that again she just kept her eyes shut.

[that-house]

Viego Rant (villainy and character design and tragedy and all that jazz)

Introduction The more I think about Viego, League of Legends’ newest character, the more enamored I am with him as a villain (unrelated to his general sexiness, though that does tie in with what makes him such a good villain).

I’ve seen a lot of complaints about his design. The Ruined King, one of the greatest threats in Runeterra, the progenitor of the Shadow Isles, the lord of the undead, is finally released as a playable champion and he looks like this:

People were expecting another Mordekaiser (who is similarly an undead king with a ghost army), a lich-tyrant clad in iron, decayed flesh peeling from an aged face. What we got was an angsty anime prettyboy, and it was infinitely better than the alternatives. 

Lore Viego isn’t a conquering king. While his combat abilities are indeed badass, his personality is far from it. He’s a whiny brat and that’s incredible. He isn’t bent on world domination. His character arc revolves around just how human, how fallible he really is. For those unfamiliar with his lore, I’ll paraphrase it here:

Viego was the second son of a great king. Overshadowed by his brother and with no expectations upon him and near-limitless wealth, he wandered around being an idiot fuckboy for the vast majority of his formative years. Disaster struck when his brother died in an accident, and Viego took the throne with no training, no experience, and no desire to be king. He was a shitty king. The worst king. Just all-around apathetic. Gave zero shits. Can you blame him? It’s a lot of responsibility to be thrust upon someone who isn’t much more than a child, and with no preparation. He didn’t care about anything, that is, until he met Isolde. She was a poor seamstress, but he fell in love with her upon their first meeting. Together they ruled the country but it was really just them staring longingly into each others’ eyes. His allies were kinda fucking pissed about that, and one day an assassin came from Viego. The assassin fucked up and stabbed Isolde instead, and the poison on the blade made her fall gravely ill. As she lay in her bed, slowly dying, Viego went mad seeking a cure. He ravaged the land seeking any knowledge that might help, pouring all of his money into finding an antidote. He failed. As a last resort, he brought Isolde’s body to the Blessed Isles, a place rumored to be able to resurrect the dead. It worked, to an extent. Isolde’s wraith, confused, afraid, and angry at being ripped from the peace of death, unthinkingly stabbed Viego in the chest with his own magic sword, creating basically a magic nuke that turned the Blessed Isles into the domain of the undead. Viego resurrected as the king of the Shadow Isles some time later, having totally forgotten that Isolde killed him. He controls a big-ass ghost army, could probably beat up any living thing in a fight, and has evil ghost magic. Now this stupid simp wants his wife back and if he has to kill every living thing on Runeterra, well, anything for his queen. He’s even a tier 3 sub to her Twitch.

Music His musical theme isn’t some heavy metal anthem or intense cinematic piece (unlike the Pentakill song named after his sword, Blade of the Ruined King). It’s mostly sad and slow, almost sinister, with a piano and a music box. It has its loud moments featuring violins and choral bits like any villainous music, but the song is mostly subtle. It is a banger though.

In the comments section of this video, someone pointed out that the music reflects his story from beginning to end:

Everything about this champion is so well done. Riot Games really outdid themselves on this one. Bravo, encore please.

Motivation While the Mordekaiser circlejerkers on r/LeagueofLegends won’t shut the fuck up about how powerful Mordekaiser is, Viego is the better villain. Mordekaiser may be a bigger threat to all life on Runeterra, but Viego is a better character. (There’s a guy on my League discord server who won’t shut up about Mordekaiser so forgive me for being pissed at Morde stans).

Mordekaiser is motivated by a desire for control, to rule the world. Viego is motivated by obsession and misplaced love. There aren’t a lot of Mordekaisers on Earth. Supervillains are rare in real life. But Viego’s motivations are a lot closer to home. People in positions of power that they don’t deserve can do a lot of harm (for example: Trump).

He’s a grieving husband who was never prepared to deal with anything more difficult than choosing what wine to drink with dinner, who is trying to get his wife back because the world had always complied to his every whim. He’s a funky mix between a truly hopeless romantic and a spoiled brat throwing a temper tantrum.

Obsession is scary. It’s a real-world emotional state that’s been the cause of a lot of murders over mankind’s history. In contrast, Mordekaiser’s cartoonish Genghis Khan XXL schtick isn’t something that we encounter often. Of course a superpowered ultradictator would be worse for the world, but if you give ultimate power to a random person, you’re more likely to get someone like Tighten from Megamind. Or, more relevantly, Viego.

Design His design is sexy and stupid, just like him. He wears an open shirt into battle and wields his sword like an idiot (I’ve seen all the rants about how that’s not how that sword is meant to be used) because he was never really a warrior. Even at his most violent, right before the end of his mortal life, he didn’t do much combat himself, leaving his military endeavors to his underlings. Even now that he’s essentially a god, he still has a colossal wraith army that causes far more devastation than he ever could personally.

Despite his slim build (by League of Legends standards), he easily wields his colossal sword because of the strength of his state of undeath. Like his political power when he was alive, his posthumous magical and physical powers were never something he sought out, they were just given to him by circumstance.

The big cool-ass triangle hole in his chest where Isolde stabbed him is the source of the Black Mist, which is evil ghost mist that ebbs and flows from the Shadow Isles, bringing with it hordes of the undead. The sadder Viego is, the more Mist he creates. Poetically, his invasion of the world is inspired by his sorrow at his wife’s death and enabled by his wife’s reluctance to return to him. His story is perfectly reflected by his design.

Isolde Isolde’s spirit took up residence inside a young Senna (who’s another League champion, not particularly important here). This led to some Black Mist-related shenanigans and at least for the time being, Senna uses Isolde’s power to fight off the servants of Viego which threaten all life on Runeterra.

It seems pretty clear that whatever love Isolde felt for Viego is gone by now. Whether or not she ever loved him or was just unable to say no to the king is up for debate, but I’d like to believe there was something there. In my opinion, Viego’s story hits harder if they really were a great couple at first, torn apart by circumstance and obsession.

Much like the Maiden of the Woods in that one comic that circulates around here, to whom the knight gave his heart and she was like “yo what the fuck i literally never asked you to do this,” Viego went a little too far in trying to save her. They may have once been happy, but the Ruined King ruined his own life, too.

Unless Isolde is a lot less morally decent than we’ve been led to believe, I doubt she can forgive all the massacring that her husband’s been doing lately. In the recent cinematic, she was shown to be pretty anti-Viego. Maybe she’ll get a bastardization arc, but it certainly seems unlikely.

All of Season 2021 is based around Viego, Isolde, and the Shadow Isles, so we’ll just have to see what comes next. It’s possible that we’ll get Isolde as a playable champion, which should clear a lot of things up.

Final Thoughts Unlike so many villains, he’s not fueled by rage or hatred, but rather by sorrow. He’s stuck in his past, unable to move on. He regrets the actions of his life but is set on his course now. The sunk-cost fallacy comes into play here; he’s put so much time and effort and blood into bringing back Isolde, that turning away from it would feel to him like an insult, not only to her but to the innocent lives he’s taken in her name.

His tale is a tragedy, a love story gone horrifically wrong. Viego has suffered throughout his thousand-year life. Despite this, he’s undoubtedly the villain. His permanent death would be a net positive for the world. In has rage and grief he’s destroyed multiple civilizations, and will burn down the world to get Isolde back.

His heart may be in the wrong place, but it’s in a very human place. I don’t think he’ll get the ending he’s looking for, but I hope he finds some closure in the end.

[dirtyrottenraskel]

my take on yueki's personalities

yue 

notes / personality

cocky (but also like understated confidence - r e g a l af) 

kind of a nerd

maybe a little entitled, and a little bratty and suki loves to indulge her or to rile her up depending on her mood

books

seems soft but made of steel

strong sense of duty

socially intelligent - can be manipulative and suki (the dork) thinks it is so hot 

aloof queen bee typa beat

supportive, both in ur day to day and in going after your big moral life goals 

deep water - steady and powerful, often underestimated

untold depths, private yet surprisingly nurturing - master of deflecting away from herself

political nerd - well read, and when she has someone she trusts not to take advantage of her, she goes OFF 

distrusting of most people, has been used and ignored and underestimated her whole life

patient - homegirl knows how to play the long game

excellent at pai sho / chess 

she and suki have epic battles of wits - dif types of strategy but both are really into it and get a little too competitive (multiple board games have had to be replaced over the years)

loves travel bc wasn’t allowed to much, esp when she was sick 

was super repressed growing up - never let her be herself or really have any sort of independence

used to sneak out and wander around in rebellion and casually sabotage plans and decisions she didn’t agree with 

introverted, many opinions but keeps them to herself, discreet but well spoken

weaponizes secrets and information - doesn’t often use it but...she could

definitlyyyyy worries and overthinks and re-evaluates - worries ab social politics a lot

obsessive about picking things - wants it to be perfect

shes growing into her confidence as a leader

prefers quite intimate places

incredibly romantic

classic lit

planner for the future - visionary

kind / sweet / gentle - yes, but that’s also her “front” to a degree (seriously, i feel like she gets painted as so sweet and submissive and one dimensional by the fandom a lot of times and it freakin kills me)

INFJ-T (The Advocate) ((yes this is from 16p which i know is not super accurate but u can still catch her overall vibes from it ya know)

Creative/insightful/principled/compassionate/altruistic

sensitive/reluctant to open up/perfectionist/prone to burnout/not a fan of the ordinary

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - puppy love crushes, laugh ab it now, get into deep late night talks about responsibilities and leading, water tribe culture, prank wars (no one believes sokka when he says yue is a mean prank master (expect suki comes to see it in action lol))

katara - <> badass women friendship, totally would go to matches and protests together, tough girl shit, waterbending practice/duels - start of cautious, but then get rough in a good way bc they trust each other, they do water tribe food adventures together

toph - indulges her chaos, bonding over stupid royal upbringings, odd yet weirdly endearing pair

zuko - both sort of standoffish gay royals, but once they come to see that they are friends - take up similar spaces though, so only hang out in a group or rarely by themselves, they do hang out at like political parties and stuff when they get more comfortable together

aang - <> he has an impressive world view, yue is super studied and well read, so she and aang nerd out over past cultures together, and also their peace keeping nature, they have tea together often - usually after she and katara wipe the floor w/ each other

clothing / aesthetic:

blues and pale colors

classy and understated wealth

like those cute feminine button down shirts

dresses

like cold weather classy

complicated braids

sort of soft girl aesthetic?

pleated skirts !!!

i feel like she would wear ethically sourced fur (i don’t wear fur but idk how to get it in an ethical way - maybe it’s just fake??)

knit sweaters and skinny jeans and heeled ankle boots

light academia !!!

hella funky earrings - to mark her native pride and also cuz gay

from my readings, tattoos have a lot of cultural significance for Inuit women, and so i feel like yue would totally have some (when she comes of age ofc) 

suki

notes / personality 

extroverted 

also very strategic 

more spontaneous tho - will totally calculate the odds in a spilt second in her head and then just go for it

like still a careful planner, but willing to say fuck it, yolo if it seems right 

reflects on her mistakes, but more in like a healthy way - unless it was a leadership mistake, then it eats her up inside - worries more ab keeping her girls safe and making the right call

likes lively places

total bashful romantic

manages the present and the short term - realist

loves to do lists 

a little punch happy - loves to make violent threats, but also does it out of excitement and she’s just a really physical person tbh

steady, can come off as stubborn and abrasive but she really just wants what’s best for everyone she loves

harsh on herself and worries about her girls a lot 

always ends up in the oddest situations 

totally would kick someone’s ass for being racist/sexist/homophobic/etc 

dedicated to her training and her regime 

not a great cook, but she can manage 

would drink monsters 

has a weird relationship with femininity - took her awhile to reconcile strength and toughness and being assertive and aggressive with also wanting to feel pretty and feminine and embracing being a girl and how those things can coincide and amplify each other

abandonment issues - parents absent/dead 

was imprisoned - obvi she had several almost successful escape attempts, but she got really close to breaking 

was incredibly independent really early, grew up really fast and tries to make up for that now by sometimes being reckless 

tough/assertive/woman of action 

dry sense of humor/sarcastic - not good at nickname/pun humor tho

practical/dedicated/strong-willed/direct/honest/reliable/loyal/patient

stubborn/judgmental/difficult to relax/difficulty expressing emotions/too selfless 

friendships / relationships

(<> indicates that they’re one of her best friends)

sokka - <>  man they’re like platonic soulmates - she beat him up, and now they spar all the time, totally funny and crack jokes all the time, go skating together, they do shitty art together, and then show their lovers after zuko and yue come back from their high society mixers, broke her out of prison, m/f friendship !!! 

katara - also sparring buddies (suki will throw down at any literally moment (and tbh so will katara)), not close but will hang in a group - go to each other for advice 

toph - <> listen these two wreak havoc together, they help each other out a lot, i feel like they’re shopping buddies (similar enough style to frequent the same shops) toph knows suki won’t judge her for wanting to feel pretty and suki knows toph will be honest, they are both blunt sarcastic assholes and get along like a house on fire 

zuko - <> shows zuko how to like,,,enjoy things (and how to let go of some of that pressure to be always right and the adult and in charge bc they were raised with so much responsibility on their shoulders even tho they were just kids)? she is also super protective of him (once she trusts him), one of the only ppl who can match suki fully in hand to hand combat, both do the Disappointed Parent Look when the group falls into chaos, but by themselves, the two of them end up in hijinks

aang- suki enjoys his optimism and they’re just chill bros, they love exploring abandoned placed together 

clothing / aesthetic

sporty and skater mixed 

ripped jeans, crewnecks, vans 

green and yellow and dark red 

gym clothes/athleisure - lifting style gym clothes - cut off t-shirts and bike shorts

skirts too, likes to play into femininity

she’s a gold jewelry kinda girl - but stuff that won’t hinder her movements 

necklaces that end in the hollow of her throat & occasionally rings

definitely cuffs all of her jeans (it’s just bisexual culture ya know)

so many crop tops - some came like that, some were more of a diy project

yueki’s relationship!!!

nerd/jock solidarity 

feel the burden of responsibility and the weight on their shoulders 

they create a safe space between them, full of trust and warmth and vulnerability 

yue will read suki sappy passages from poetry books while suki polishes her fans 

they slow dance in the kitchen a lot 

they get good at ordering takeout - and they have some weird decision making process that only they understand - bc neither of them are great cooks 

yue would feel jealous of suki and sokka, if it weren’t for how stupid in love sokka was with zuko and yue can see that suki really only has eyes for her 

yue is taller than suki and it amuses her to no end to pick suki up and carry her away from a fight (we all know suki could get away if she wanted to, but when ur hot tall sexy gf throws u over her shoulder,,,,,,u don’t complain)

joke they’ve adopted kataang and zukka, bc they’re all dummies, but in reality every last one of them is stupid LMAO 

they love to do each other’s hair and it’s like super intimate and really cute 

sometimes it’s these epic elaborate hairstyles and then at other times, they try to see how many ponytails they can fit on suki’s head and how many little braid yue can do 

they travel EVERYWHERE 

since yue is royalty and suki is her body guard,,,, well i mean, they totally have to see these kingdoms they are doing trade deals with in person 

it helps that they're friends with a lot of them 

they stay over in everything from camping so they can stargaze to ritzy hotels with hot tubs in the bathroom 

yue gives suki rocks she finds on all their travels and suki lines them up on their mantle around the pictures of them in increasingly weird locations 

suki loves guarding yue’s meetings bc she gets to watch her absolutely rip a new one into misogynistic old men and it never fails to bring her joy 

While yue doesn’t love getting attacked, the ruthless efficiency suki defends her with is like,,,,,stupid attractive 

[lucidpantone]

Wtfock Fanfic Recommends (Worlds/Lit adapt) Pt.1

What up Fockers! 🤘🏽(am back 😈)

Catch up on previous recommends here.

Worlds/Literary adaptation

Literary adaptation is the adapting of a literary source (e.g. a novel, short story, poem) to another genre or medium.

ITW = In the works

**Given recent events with wtfamers concerned over adult content not being marked properly I will be marking all these fics via the USA film rating system. I am going to air on the side of caution so if am over zealous its in respect to others. These ratings are a combination of my opinion and the author’s tags in Ao3.** Vampires

Open your soul out and let it pour out (oneshot) by orphan_account (PG-13)

Lets call this fic what it is. A bite feast. Do you wanna skip all the vampire lore and exposition and just get your teeth sinked into a one shot? Well here you go a funny little oneshot in which Sander bites Robbe(no turning). Its a quickie but it certainly quenched my thirst.

Dead of night (ITW) by orphan_account (PG)

Can’t say to much about this fic. Its a chaptered fic that started to get it wheels turning but we seem to be stuck in neutral. Author you asked for some HC to inspire you to write so jumping off your last vamp fic I would suggested exploring Sander as a lone wolf vampire and how finding Robbe ignites the idea to mate or to herd again. 

Paint me in trust (complete) by themoongirl/ @dearrobbe @dearsander (R/mainly due to violence)

Just completed and what a ride. This is truly a structured love story and though I don’t think the arc will be novel it doesn’t matter because this is such a deep love story about forgiveness, acceptance and sacrifice. I also love how the other characters feed the love story as a whole and how their experiences shaped Sander and Robbe to make decisions about how far they were truly willing to go to be together. The writing is so solid that you will wheeze through this fic. Structurally I think this fic is the author’s best work to date. Alpha/Beta/Omega 

Don't you call him baby (ITW) by @ayellowcurtain (R/Mature)

Big big shout out to this writer for doing something that is rarely successful which is creating an entire narrative story via prompts. Anyone out there who wants to start writing a world inspired fic but maybe feels like they would love input in what ideas to explore within that worlds setting should look at this fic as an example. Its really angsty and at times challenges the idea of the typical Sander alpha and Robbe omega love story. Its really unique but in an incredibly intelligent way and once again its told entirely through short form prompts. Its really great to see an author allowing their readers to create the angles of their storytelling.

Rescue my heart (I'll drown without you) (ITW) by @skamsnake & @zaddyskam (Explicit/Mature/NC-17) Kudos to the detailed world descriptions and exposition building that snake and zaddy undertake in explaining concepts around ABO because I didn’t even know what this genre was until I read this fic. From my understanding ABO writers decide what ABO concepts they borrow or chose not to use in the ABO world. This fic is in canon so set during an equivalent timeline to S3. We get an in-depth look into concepts such as alpha space and also how in this society Alphas/Omegas and Betas live and date interchangeably. Of course we have the normal angst ridden love story at the center of s3 but with a twist or should I say a knot.

Holding On Tight To You (Complete) by pinksaltcrystals (PG-13)

Am really happy to have a ABO fic in the mix that stays within a realm that accommodates readers of all ages. There is no explicit sexual content in this fic aside from mentions of heat and rut. It is a really good case study into how heat effects Robbe (omega) and also the very primal instincts the Alpha/Omega dynamic spark between the lovers(R+S) outside of sexual encounters. Also I love to see how other character canons in this fic are developed. Some interesting choices between who is an alpha/omega and beta. Really gripping read that explains the science of omega heat in the ABO world. 

Sander & Robbe (ITW) by JesseLblack / @jesyblack (Explicit/Mature/NC-17)

Written in Spanish this mpreg fic explores teenage Robbe getting pregnant after unprotected sex. Scandalous! It’s not complete yet but interesting concepts around teenage pregnancy in the ABO world and heighten fertility during heat. Author I haven’t seen an update in awhile but I would be really interested to see where you were going to take this.

Bring me a higher love (complete) By Skamtrash / @vearthling(Explicit/Mature/NC-17)

An Mpreg fic set into the future in which Robbe decides he wants to be a young dad and he has to convince Sander of that too. Once pregnant this is a cute quirky little fic into the weird abnormalities of pregnancy cravings and adjustments that ring very true to what most couples go through in these developing months. Super sugary and Sander gets no.1 best pregnancy partner in this fic. 

Hunger Games

just another dressed up heartbreak (turned his tears to diamonds in his crown) (kinda of a oneshot its part of a volume of works) by aletterinthenameofsanity  (R/mainly due to mentions of every dark trope you can think of)

Robbe and Sander victors of the 80th games. Cold blooded killers that fell deep in love during their Victory tour. This is a one shot in a large volume of works for this author exploring the Hunger Games. Milan is our Haymitch, I mean of course he is. This fic is a one shot part of the larger volume but in this part of the story we find out just because you win the games doesn’t mean the competition to stay alive has ended. Its sinister, dark and not for the fate of heart but some very interesting tropes explored and we truly get reminded that the capital always wins in the end. Also be prepared to see our evak couples how you have never seen them before. I like this fic alot but trigger warnings at every corner as this volume of fics are very very dark.

Game of Thrones

I, I Will Be King (ITW) by proawler / @sander-schmander (PG)

Sander Targaryen, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Six Kingdoms. Sander Targaryen is betrothed to Britt Lannister when Olenna Tyrell invites the king to a party at Highgarden. During his visit he meets Robbe Tyrell and all the tiresome work of politics melts away as he is completely mesmerized by the budding flower standing before him. Author please continue this fic!!! Its so good. I love everything I have read thus far. I beg of you, am a sucker for GOT and you have done a fantastic job thus far capturing this world.

GOT fics continued in part 2....

[doorbloggr]

Thursday 6/5/21: Masters of Musical Mashups

I do not consider myself a musically minded person, but I feel I enjoy music as a past time more than the average joe. When I engage with audio entertainment, I do so with my soul, to the point where songs I have nostalgia for can move me to tears.

Sorry for using K-On for mood-setting imagery again, but its a cute and fun aesthetic.

But before I meander too much off-topic, today's on-topic is specifically about music derived from existing media. Parody is the immediate word that comes to mind, but the type of derivative musical masterpieces I wanna highlight in this blog post goes a bit deeper than that.

The internet is an amazing place (maybe I should retitle this blog series to that string of words), and I've been exposed to many smaller or otherwise hidden musical talents that I would not have encountered in everyday life. Today let's discuss two musical talents from YouTube who have made it their mission to incinerate existing music in a grand inferno, and rebirth a new sound, like a radiant phoenix. The masters of mashups.

High Quality Videogame Rips: SiIvaGunner

SiIvaGunner (spelt s-i-i-v-a-g-u-n-n-e-r) is a videogame OST ripping channel. It owes it name to fellow videogame rip channel GilvaSunner, (g-i-l-v-a-s-u-n-n-e-r), who in turn pays homage to original videogame ripping channel Silvagunner (s-i-l-v-a-g-u-n-n-e-r).

Confusing names aside, the purpose of a videogame rip channel is to provide audio acquired directly from a videogame's files in order to fully enjoy the original soundtrack (OST) in its purest form. There are hundreds of such channels on YouTube, but SiIvaGunner has been set apart from the rest by the specific ripping skillset of its community. Take a listen to this:

SiIvaGunner songs are a fun bait-and-switch type entertainment, where the bit usually involves using the thumbnail and title of a video game song, but the artist has used the sound font of that game to construct a completely different tune.

A lot of the time, this is as simple as using a Mario soundfont to play notes of a TV show theme (as above), but sometimes, it can go further. Many of SiIvaGunner's most popular hits involve just straight remixes of mainstream music mashed up with videogame tunes.

And sometimes, the musician will go one more step, and sentence mix lyrics from the videogame song or mainstream song to make a song of entirely new meaning.

SiIvaGunner is not one artist, there is an entire community of musical artists who contribute their pieces to this channel. The channel uploads often double digits of videos daily, so if I've intrigued you at all, please check the channel out!

A World of Mouth: Neil Cicierega

Neil Cicierega is an internet legend. He has been creating online entertainment for almost two decades. Particularly credits include his Potter Puppet Pals series, and his own original music under the name "Lemon Demon", with works such as The Ultimate Showdown and Two Trucks.

Given his aptitude in comedy and musical talent, it is not surprising that Neil jumped into the parody/remixing scene. But whereas other parody artists and remixers simply created their own altered versions of popular music, Neil Cicierega created something on entire other level.

Neil has recently released his fourth album in the Mouth series, a collection of mashup music that transforms popular mainstream music into something new and fantastic. Neil will take the vocals from one song and transplant it into the instrumentals of another song. Often this contrast is used for comedic effect, but in my opinion, many of the songs he's remixed sound catchier and more fun than the originals.

The namesake of his series, Smash Mouth, feature heavily in a number of his songs. Given the meme-able nature of Smash Mouth, thanks to Shrek, the Mouth series is known across the internet for its fun parodic nature.

Smash Mouth is far from the only source Neil Cicierega uses. Source music is taken from all genres of popular 20th and 21st century hits. Neil has a musical ear where he can perfectly match any lyrics with their instrumental soulmate. The pairing needn't be songs of the same genre however, and some of his most fun music comes from combining music from polar opposite genres.

Using the vocals from AC/DC's Back in Black with the instruments from Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles sounds like a pair that shouldn't work. But Neil knows his rhythm and it goes off. And while Neil is a master of putting hard-ass lyrics to a softer song, that doesn't mean he can't go in the other direction. Below is Spongerock, a mashup of the Spongebob theme song and Queen's We Will Rock You.

Some of Neil's remixes aren't mashups at all, but rather a transformation of a song into something silly, bizarre and barely recognisable from the original. The prime example being Bustin.

Neil Cicierega posts his original music on Spotify, and his Mouth series can be found on his Soundcloud. Fans have uploaded most of the Mouth series to Youtube, and if you have a spare few hours (or want to consume it over a few days), a fan has compiled all of his albums into one long video, The Mouth Experience:

I've given my readers plenty of good music to listen to today, so if you do enjoy yourselves or have already experienced these musical geniuses before, be sure to let me know and spread the word.

[littleprickproductions]

Hardware Vs Software in Production

Hardware in the production world. 

Ok, I'll be honest, as far as hardware goes in my production process it starts with my NI S61 midi keys and ends with my Presonus 5s, with unfortunately nothing in the middle but my mac and audio interface. I know there are hardware gurus out there that would be shocked that I even call that hardware, but my point is, I’m a complete novice. From using VST plug-ins to create sound to mastering with software equivalent reverb and everything in between; ninety-nine percent of my whole production process is software. During the course of this blog, I have been given the opportunity to use real-life hardware versions of the VST plugins you find in your software library, and ask the question what place does hardware have in this increasingly digitised world?

My goal throughout this process, along side testing hardware, is to create three tracks form the hardware being tested each week and therefore giving the hardware a good run and the shot it deserves at proving its worth.

Private link to Tracks:

DRUMs & BASSes

Being an aspiring Hip hop producer, I decided to begin week one of my hardware pursuit in the way I start most of my tracks, with drums- and boy it did not disappoint. More specifically the Arturia Drum Brute Sequencer. The sequencer allows you to trigger drum sounds at certain times through a 16step sequence and then shape the sounds to suit, including tone decay and velocity adjustments. One early finding with hardware and something to bear in mind, it's not as easy as just uploading a software VST and away you go. “VST” is an acronym that stands for Virtual Studio Technology and was introduced by Steinberg Media Technologies in 1996. It was invented as a way of adding real-time audio effects to audio tracks recorded on a computer. It elevated the computer from being a MIDI sequencer and audio recorder to becoming the fully-fledged audio recording, mixing and producing platform that we know today (Vincent, 2019). Hardware requires essentially more hardware to support the integration with your chosen DAW and enable recording of the audio. In this case the MOTU 624 Audio Interface. An audio interface is in the simplest of terms a router for your audio signals with line inputs and outputs to allow playback from the hardware through to the monitors. If I were to use the drum sequencer as my only hardware, the simplest way of connecting the hardware would be from the sequencer to the interface via jack lead, or even simpler, directly with midi to the computer. However to do this project justice I will accompany each piece of hardware with at least a second, maybe more, to encourage creativity and hopefully give the hardware a real chance at proving its worth. Besides, you don't just create drums on a track and call it quits, do you? 

Introducing my second hardware instrument, the Moog Sub Phatty. The Sub Phatty is an analog (also known as subtractive synthesis) synthesiser, designed for low-end bass. I found this to be a very powerful synth and very interactive, once I managed to get my head around the basics, and look at it as I would any software synth that I would load into my DAW, Serum for example. Choose an oscillator wave type, add a filter, adjust the envelope and so on. I was flying! Straight away I found it so intuitive. There's something about being able to interact with a synth, the same way you would learn to play an instrument. This by far is the biggest pro I've found when using hardware at this point, due to the contrast between having the knobs and keys in front of you and playing them, over moving the mouse and then drawing midi notes as you would with the software equivalent.

I find that physical interaction fits a lot smoother into the creative flow over clicking a mouse.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Vincent, R. (2019). What Is a VST? All Your VST Questions Answered! Retrieved December 8, 2020, from Careers In Music.com website: https://www.careersinmusic.com/what-is-a-vst

Midi Integration

My first impression with this week's hardware was just how scary it all looks, especially the Korg Volca and the JP-08. The JP-08 is a remake of the 1996 FM synth, the JP 800. FM or Frequency Modulation Synthesis is based on the use of at least two oscillators; a Carrier and a Modulator. The Carrier Frequency is most related to the pitch or the fundamental frequency and is usually controllable with a keyboard or other MIDI input. The Modulating Frequency is used to alter the Carrier at a specific Modulation Rate and Modulation Intensity or Index (Mantione, 2017). This session showed the importance of reading manuals. One downside of hardware, that unlike software synths, is that you cannot just install and click away. In this case, there were many procedures I had to follow to get even the smallest soundwave. My advice would be to follow the signal path due to the hardware requiring a clock source to keep all parts time/tempo synced. So I began by sending the Midi Clock from the DAW (used at the master clock) to a Midi Motu interface. Midi stands for Musical Instrument Digital Interface. It was introduced by Robert Moog in October 1982, with the idea that one universal language could be used to support various instruments. However no audio is passed through midi, instead, it sends a series of digital binary signals (1s and 0s) which the computer, instrument or Midi interface then transfers to the audio signal. (Wreglesworth, 2018)

From the midi interface, midi signals are sent to the individual hardware (to keep them synced), then audio to the mixer and on to an audio interface- ensuring each element is passing a signal to the next and so on. Secondly, ensuring all inputs and output through the DAW are set correctly, in this case, output to midi and input from the audio interface. Eventually, after many attempts and using my own advice of following the signal paths, we have audio!

The next step was to create some recordings, which began by inputting midi notes to trigger midi signals. I found this a great combination of both software and hardware. Using the DAW to write the notes and then use the JP-08 to modulate the sound. This allowed me to concentrate fully on the sound development itself while playing the notes on a loop, tweaking the oscillators, envelopes and creating modulation until I found a sound that I liked. From there it was a case of repeating the process, layering multiple sounds over different octaves, creating sounds and filling the frequency spectrum. Using the Roland TR-8 sequencer to add a drum pattern in a similar way as the DrumBrute in previous weeks, and a third instrument- the Korg Volca, I had everything physically in front of me to compose a track.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Mantione, P. (2017). The Basics of FM Synthesis. [online] Pro Audio Files. Retrieved from https://theproaudiofiles.com/fm-synthesis/. 

‌Wreglesworth, R. (2018). A Beginner’s Guide To MIDI: What Is It? How Does It Work? Retrieved from Musician’s HQ website: https://musicianshq.com/a-beginners-guide-to-midi/

Synchronisation and Collaboration 

Synchronisation is a broad term and occurs a lot during the creative process, especially when using hardware. Previously I've spoken about hardware being synchronized with other hardware by the use of midi to match tempo through a master clock from the DAW. However in this case, I'm exploring synchronisation with others. Synchronous meaning happening, existing, or arising at precisely the same time (Merriam-Webster. n.d.). Most weeks I've had the opportunity of working with another person when using the hardware set-ups. This weeks set up is somewhat similar to last weeks, we’re using the Roland TR-8, the Roland TB-3 and the Novation Bass station. Having a second person there to bounce off, one experimenting with drums on the TR-8 and the second on the Bass station playing with melodies, very quickly sparked innovation and creativity. Once we heard something we liked whilst vibing of the energy of one and another, we began to develop further to create almost a full track/performance. We’d record melodies and loops and then experiment with effects on the mixer to create risers and evolve the piece, whilst adding a creative depth. However, I am aware that the ability to be able to play side by side with another in a room is not always going to be a possibility, especially with the cost of studio time and the rise of home studios. This is where we were introduced to Ableton Link. Ableton Link is a technology that keeps devices in time over a wired or wireless network. Link is built into Live as well as a growing number of iOS applications, and any Link-enabled software can play in time with any other Link-enabled software simply by joining the same network.

Link allows two or more users of the same local network to sync clock, use audio hardware collaboratively and share audio stems. If a local network is not available, users can use ad-hoc (computer-to-computer) connection to do the same (“Link, Synchronisation, and ReWire — Ableton Reference Manual Version 10.,” n.d.).

I found this process extremely creative as both users can share ideas and bounce off each other's energy. However there are things to consider, users have to be flexible and open to the fact that there is going to be differing opinions on direction, including BPM of the track, key and genre to note a few.  

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Synchronous. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved December 8, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/synchronous

The Power of Modular

I have been using a Human interface device throughout this whole process without realising exactly what it is. A human interface device can be defined as a type of computer device that ordinarily takes input from humans and gives output to humans. While the original plan for the HID specification was based on the idea of a standard for human input devices, the acronym itself was changed to human interface device as it became clear that the standard would support bi-directional communication, meaning both inputs and outputs (“What is a Human Interface Device (HID)?”, 2020). However, this doesn't just apply to the use of synthesizers. By definition, this applies to any device that allows humans to interact with computers, from pointer tools such as a computer mouse to the output of the speaker audio. For me, the use of hardware throughout this module has identified the importance of choosing the correct HID for the task. Which brings me my next piece of hardware. Modular synthesis. 

Simply put, a modular synthesizer is an electronic musical instrument that consists of a multitude of different components (modules) that are used and combined to create electronic sounds (“Modular Synthesizers - A simple explanation,” 2019). Modules are connected via patch cables, to create and develop sounds and effects. Once an initial sound is produced, more modules can be introduced to modulate carrier waves and effects, and more added again to modulate that modulation. In theory, the possibilities are endless and once you've found your feet with the initial sound creation and the signal path, it becomes very intuitive and evidently a creative HID. I rapidly learned it would be my body that would fatigue far before the sound creation possibilities with the modular. One negative aspect was that as all the hardware was timed and sequenced to the clock it was difficult to fail. This being said, it is important to remember to stick to any goals set before starting, as the rabbit hole with this one goes a long way down. 

It's great the fact that you can go, oh ok what does this do and experiment, however, if I specifically decided I want to modulate the hi-hats, for example, a certain amount of knowledge is required to enforce this.

Routing Diagram

Bibliography

-‌Modular Synthesizers - A simple explanation. (2019). Retrieved from t.blog website: https://www.thomann.de/blog/en/modular-synthesizers-explained-simply/

-‌What is a Human Interface Device (HID)? (2020). Retrieved December 8, 2020, from Total Phase Blog website: https://www.totalphase.com/blog/2020/08/what-is-human-interface-device-hid/

Evaluation

Over the past few weeks, I have had the opportunity to explore hardware synthesisers, sequencers and mixers- learning in detail the processes of what it takes to set up hardware through the application of midi and audio interfaces. I've learned how creative and intuitive hardware can be, through the use of different types of human interface devices, and exploring how using many different approaches can affect the speed, ease and development of the music-making process. To begin I learned the basics of hardware set up. Through the use of manuals and tutorials, I gained confidence in my ability to be able to be given a new piece of hardware and use it to create and record soundscapes. I learned very quickly not to judge the hardware on its looks, especially when it comes to modular. Once I broke the process down and followed the signal path, I learned that use of hardware wasn't as scary as it looked. It didn't however come without its complications. Throughout the weeks, I discovered that hardware is a lot more complicated to set up than simply plugging in a VST software instrument. Sometimes even if everything looks like it should work, it doesn't, and it can take a long time to gain even the simplest sound. However, it has definitely been worth it. It is difficult to deny the fact that hardware, and the ability to play the hardware as an instrument, is extremely creative. Especially in comparison to my usual desk with a mouse and keyboard. Hardware still firmly has its place in the production world, and I encourage anyone who has the opportunity to explore it, to go and do so. However, I believe the combination of hardware and software is the best equation when the end goal is creating music. 

[marvinswriting]

Northshore's couples, written by anonymous, about anonymous.

a crack idea bear and I had that I took seriously

g/t mean girls

November, 12th

Ifykyk.

Hey, Northshore! Welcome to a new section of the school newspaper. I've been fighting for a gossip blog for a hot minute now, and since the paper is dying down, Northshore is finally allowing it. 

But this isn't just any gossip blog.

This is the place where I'm gonna -try- to answer your most burning questions about Northshore couples in question.

All through anonymity and observation.

To start, let's meet the students. All names have been changed so identities can stay hidden. In the tinies we've got: J, A, and R. Then in the giants there is: D, C, G, K, and S.

Who's with who? Who hates who? Who's got some secrets under the surface? Come back next week.

"Full offense to Northshore, this sounds stupid as fuck." Janis huffed, tossing down the newspaper, letting it fall to the table. 

Karen looked at the small girl of Damian's shoulder.

"Why do you think?"

"Gossip blogs are unoriginal and boring. The school newspaper is grasping at straws."

"They can be fun when done right." Regina points out. "I say we check in next week and find out more about the students it's about."

"Whats-" Cady frowned. "What's a gossip blog?"

"Aww, baby's first gossip blog! We have to keep up with this one. Just for Cady." Damian said.

Karen watched with amusement as her friends discussed gossip blogs and if they were any good.

This will be fun. 

November 19th

Love the feedback from last week guys! You're all as hyped as I am. And no. I won't confirm who your suspicions are. Stop slipping notes under the computer lab door.

This week J and D were seen together. (It's not uncommon.) 

A was seen kissing C when they thought nobody was looking. But don't be fooled, somebody is always looking.

Not to be creepy or anything.

Just- we saw that, A. 

You won't spot R without K or G anywhere near them, don't know if any of them are dating though.

Development into J and D's relationship as D is seen defending J from S. Sources couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded pretty hostile. Is it just caring friends or something a little more? 

This blog is focused around uncovering Northshore's couples once and for all. Have any tips? There's been a box placed by the computer lab door. Got any other people you want to see covered? Let me know!

Until next week, the anon who writes about anons. Xx!

"So," Cady looked down at her newspaper. "A gossip blog, is just talking about people?"

"Hence, the gossip part." Janis folder her own tiny newspaper, tossing it onto the cafeteria table from Damian's pocket. "And it's stupid."

"I wonder who it's about?" Gretchen said. "I know everything about everybody. But all this info? This is news to me."

"It's obviously about-" Karen paused. Was she the only one to figure it out?

Wasn't she the dumb one?

"Never mind. I dunno who it's about either."

"I don't understand why you care so much." Janis huffed.

"Because its fun to be nosey about lives that aren't ours. Duh." Regina said.

November, 26th

Happy Friday, Northshore!

Wow, lots of you sent in info about J and D. Whether you've cracked the code on who they are or maybe you're just observant of two fellow students- there is no denying they're pretty affectionate.

Since we're on the topic, let's start with J and D.

Kisses. Lots of them.

Romantic, or just friends? The duo themselves give pretty mixed answers so we must take matters into our own hands and draw our own conclusions. J was seen skipping class on multiple occasions and hiding with D. I hope J has a good tutor. I could never miss that much info.

R and G are seen together. K seems like they're third-wheeling. Somebody get them out of there. K, if you need a sos, slip a note in the box bby. We've got you.

If you want to talk about PDA, look no further than A and C. Wow! A hello kiss, a kiss kiss, a GOODBYE KISS? They may not say it themselves but those two are definitely a fairytale couple.

No updates to S. #singleforlife.

Sorry, S. If you're reading this.

"Well, A and C just sound gross." Janis frowns.

"Don't be negative, Jan." Damian shakes his head at the girl on the table. "They sound cute."

"Overly cute." Cady says.

"I'm glad somebody agrees." Janis huffed.

"Poor K. Thridwheeling a couple is awful." Gretchen sympathizes.

"We don't know if R and G are dating." Aaron points out. "We don't know if any of these people are dating. I'm kinda hooked."

"Well, third-wheeling best friends is even worse." Cady sighs, glancing at Damian and Janis. 

Karen looked at the newspaper in her hands with a soft smile. She had a note to drop off.

December 3rd

Happppppy Friday! I have a big announcement right off the bat!

It is I, the writer, formally known as Anon. But now there's two of us! Me, the writer, and another student- the spy. Between the two of us (and your help from the box!) we're gonna crack these relationships open in no time!

This week's rundown!

R was with G the whole week. There was not one time they were separated. 

A, J, and R were seen in the tiny halls together where  A was overheard talking fondly about C.

Is there a fight for J?

D and S seem to never want to leave J alone.

Although, if you asked the writer, I'm totally team JD. Message for S? This isn't middle school anymore. Being mean to somebody isn't a good way to show your emotions. Message for D? You're doing fabulous, I'm rooting for you. Message for J? Pick fucking wisely. 

I'm a bit biased but my info is not. 

Don't you worry.

Until next week, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Aw, J and D sound like a cute couple." Regina cooes.

"A and C don't." Janis shook her head. "To sappy."

"Is Jan warming up to the gossip blog? And forming opinions?" Damian teased.

Karen shook her head in disbelief. The fact that her friends were yet to catch on-

-they were dense. Not idiots, just dense.

"S sounds like an asshole." Gretchen shook her head. "Bet its a boy. Yknow when a boy would pull your hair in elementary school and you'd get told, oh boys will be boys. He just likes you! Yeah. S is a dude for sure."

"Not every boy was like that. I wasn't." Damian said.

"You're gay." Janis rolled her eyes. 

December 10th

Heyo Northshore! It's the writer. Might I say, you look wonderful today? 

I don't see you but I'm sure you're just stunning.

A must be p r e t t y stupid because they were seen all this week studying with C. A kiss for every problem right? Hey, it's not a bad deal.

R was seen primarily with K this week, throwing off all previous theories.

Must have been a rough week for J. I'd imagine you've got to be stressed as hell to just break down randomly but guess what- they did. Lack of sleep? Hunger? S? Who knows what the culprit was.

But don't you worry, D was quick to whisk them off to someplace quiet.

Love to see it, I want a significant other like that.

The day they confirm their relationship is the day I expect a wedding invite.

See you next week! Xx.

"Wow! Looks like Jan isn't the only one in Northshore who needs to learn when to take a break before the break takes them." Damian deadpanned, lowing his newspaper.

Karen blinked. Are you kidding me?

"I was just tired." Janis huffed. "I needed a nap."

"I dunno man. A and C sound cheesy as fuck." Gretchen shook her head.

"They do. Now J and D though? That couple goals." Janis said.

Karen's hand shot to her mouth as she covered a laugh with a forced cough. "Couple? You think they're together?"

"For sure. They sound made to be!"

Oh dear.

December 17th

Winter break next week! Who's excited? We get full two weeks off this year and I'm so ready for a break.

I'll miss our resident couples in question though.

Not to throw everyone off but-

J spent the week with G. R spent the week with C. And A was with D?

Now granted by the time you're reading this print, this is two-week-old information- but why?

Did you get bored and just s w a p?

Anyway, I guess S wanted into the mix too? Because they took advantage of no D to try and get to J. It didn't work. G was there to protect our favorite JD ship. I'm not saying they're a cockblocker bc I don't wanna imply anything, but S is d e f i n it l y trying to get something out of J. Motive unclear but hey, we can assume :/

Gross.

Anyway, there were multiple fights that broke out that day so idk what yall were on but jesus christ calm down. Not relationship-related but be fucking nice to tineis.

Ugh.

K had no part in this swap of s/o but hey, they weren't third-wheeling anymore. 

Xx!

"Be fucking nice to tinies!" Regina cheers.

"J and G?" Janis frowned at the tiny newspaper in her hands. "Sorry, only know about J and D."

"Janis went from, ew gossip, to I'd die to have JD confirmed, real fast." Aaron pointed out.

"As she should." Gretchen pointed out. "They sound cute as fuck.

"Hands down they're lesbians." Regina said.

Karen shook her head, totally dumbfounded.

January, 7th

Did you miss me! I missed you. Mwah.

Right off the bat-

Uh. The box has been filled with messages from S saying, they do not like J. 

So I guess they're just an asshole.

Hey, just means team JD is gonna win.

Speaking of-

When J was asked directly they said that, I quote "D is the love of my life." But when asking D, I was told: "[J is] just a good friend". Sort your story idiots. The school wants to know!

While S may be out of the running, many sources say JC is a rising ship? Between A and C and J and C, I can't help but wonder, is there a behind the scenes JCA?

Fellow tiny students report A and J not being very close in the tiny hallways though. Now J and R tho-

J is just one lucky mate.

Who's your favorite? Let me know in the box! Xx.

"J and D." Janis says from her perch on Damian's shoulder. 

Karen just looked at her phone.

"You think there's a threesome going on in school?" Gretchen asked.

"Unlikely. I don't even this A and C sound cute. Why add another." Aaron rolled his eyes.

You don't think-

Karen sighed.

She really should tell them but- it was so much funnier this was.

Janis stood up on Damian's shoulder, pressing a quick kiss to his jaw without motive. 

Karen turned back to her phone, unsurprised if that would pop up in next week's article. 

January 14th

I love you- signed the writer.

Glad we got that out of the way.

NOW.

This was quite the week for our "couples".

First off, D and J? PDA through the roof.

Idk, maybe it's a special week, or maybe we're paying more attention and they've always been like that.

Those tiny kisses aren't lost on me, J. I see all.

Ugh, so cute.

A and C are-

"Skip this passage," Janis whined. "Nobody cares about them."

Everyone around the lunch table nodded as Karen began to read out loud again.

G kissed R?! R might have given a scowl but bystanders didn't miss the blush. Platonic or something more? That's the big question of this article but hey- this is a big step for all you GR shippers. Sorry to whoever wrote that long letter in the box passionately explaining how JR was peak friends to enemies to lovers. 

Shame.

#JD, anyway, you know where the box is! Xx.

"Fuck A and C. All my homies hate A and C." Janis grinned.

Cady nodded. "They're too cliche. It's annoying and I don't even know who they are."

Karen placed her head on the table with a groan.

She may not be smart, but these people were flat out idiots.

She felt a tug on her hair and looked up, resting her chin on the table.

"You okay, Karen?" Janis stood in front of her, Newspaper held at her side.

"Yeah, just dying on the inside a bit. Yknow, leaf emoji."

Janis made a face. "I don't but uh-" She leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to Karen's nose. "Don't leaf emoji. We like you here, alive on the inside."

Karen smiles. "Thanks, Janis." 

January 21st

Just when you think it's all figured out- J kisses K. 

In front of D.

At this point- they're all together. One big happy family. 

I'm still clinging onto my JD dream. 

Speaking off-

S is back. Did you miss them? Me neither.

They just grabbed J like nothing? Anyway, D was there to save the day obviously.

Our great big hero got a pretty precious nose kiss from J.  

I could make their own newspaper section about how cute they are. There is no way you can be that cute and n o t already engaged.

On another J note, if JD doesn't happen, I'd be pretty content with some CJ. C was seen giving J "a nice-sized smooch" (somebody from the box).

No development in the R and G category, just their usual cuteness.

Leave any tips in the box! You know where it is. Xx.

"Uh uh. JD over CJ." Janis shook her head.

Karen just placed the newspaper in her bag. Janis and Damian were quick to become J and D's biggest shippers. They were so good at confusing the school about their relationship status that they had themselves fooled.

Cady and Aaron, who were dating and just won't confirm it, hated C and A's relationship. Calling it cheesy and artificially sweet.

And Regina though R sounded like a bitch and G deserved somebody better.

The whole thing was just crazy. 

"I gotta go talk to a teacher this period. It was fun reading the paper together though." Karen said getting up.

There was a chorus of 'bye Karen's as she walked away.

The newspaper holder in the hallways was empty. Northshore's 'couples' was quick to catch on and save the newspaper program. 

Karen pushed the door open to the computer lab, making her way over to the tiny end.

"Hey, Glen."

Glen Coco looked up at her with a grin. "Got anything for me, spy?"

@realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt

[the-nut-queen]

I Have a lot of thoughts on beyond light so I’m going to share them

spoilers for beyond light obvs

The Nut Queen’s thoughts on Beyond Light/SotH:

Campaign:

·       Pretty much went how I expected, i.e. nothing unpredictable or particularly interesting/mould breaking

·       That being said, I liked it! And had a lot of fun

·       Good to see Variks again, good to see the Stranger.

·       Eramis was a pretty decent villain, but pretty much had the same motives as every other Eliksni enemy before her (Skolas, Aksis, Siviks, etc.)

o   Very much felt like Rise of Iron… 2! With the Eliksni taking a new power that they didn’t fully understand to wreck shit, and also, it’s Clovis’ fault again

·       The boss fights felt a little dull. Getting to the end and just spamming stasis got old pretty quickly. I think having that for the first time work, then being able to use stasis as a subclass going forward would have been better (instead of getting the subclass at the very end of the campaign, I haven’t even started upgrading it with shit yet)

·       Liked the ghost lines and voices lines that would happen as you travelled to places

·       The progression felt very smooth, I hardly noticed when the game switched from “story mission” to “kill some adds for some stuff to progress” which was nice.

·       Liked the likewise smooth integration of the empire hunts to the main story line (good source of repeatable content for the future) although I was a little confused when I got a triumph for empire hunts since I literally hadn’t heard House of Salvation call themselves an Empire before

·       Ghost being super concerned with you using the darkness then the guardian just not fucking saying anything is kinda dumb lol but that’s pretty standard

·       It was pretty dumb when at the final boss fight Eramis freezes your ghost and shatters your splinter and freezes you then the stranger’s voice over is like “look within” and you can just suddenly use stasis because why not lol

o   Would have been cool to have a “guardians make their own fate” reference here instead

·       WHAT IS THE POINT OF FIRETEAM “E” (Elsie/Stranger, Eli/Drifter, Eris) Don’t get me wrong, I love them! and I love that 1 solitary cutscene where they’re brawling and using stasis, but they literally serve no purpose to the story? Especially dumb how mara and the nine were like “ooh only 3 have transcended their design ooh they are so special” and then they just stand around a campfire while you do all the work lol

o   Sidenote, the Stranger’s little floaty thing: what is it? And what is the point of it besides looking cute in one cutscene??

·       Also really annoyed that the BOSS for the Glassway Strike is just another boring fucking hydra, like wtf. You introduced a fucking sick new Vex type!!! (wyvern) and you DIDN’T use it as a BOSS for the NEW VEX strike. The boss fight was so boring too, it was literally just a hydra but with lots of health and sometimes it disappeared, come on bungie

 New Light:

·       Pretty cool! Shaw Han is boring though. Bungie you need more women characters and more GHOST characters (also like any non-binary characters)

o   It’d be funny to see a guardian/ghost duo NPC where the guardian doesn’t talk and the ghost does! Like with literally every npc except Osiris/Sagira their ghosts just don’t fucking say anything . (I get that it is more money to hire more voice actors and to write more lines etc. etc. etc. but its getting a bit old. GHOSTS HAVE OPINIONS!

o   Maybe even an npc who is just a solo ghost! They haven’t found their guardian or their guardian was slain by the hive or something that would be cool

·       Where is Shiro-4?

·       Where is Misraaks/House Light?

·       Navota: also boring. Just a hive wizard. You may as well have just had Omnigul come back. Or her nightmare (though I understand that that was dealt with on the moon in the nightmare hunts but still)

o   Disgraced strike: also boring. And the boss fight is also boring and takes forever?

·       Cosmodrome: Cool to be back, was fun to get annihilated by an immune hive night in skyshock as is tradition

o   Annoyed there doesn’t appear to be any Rise of Iron continuity with the landscape, the splicers fuck some shit up in the divide and outside the wall

o   Also, is the path to the Rasputin bunker just gone?

o   Yeah I just checked, the path to the grottos area (from D1) from the forgotten shore has just disappeared in D2 they just put more cliff there

o   Wtf why

o   Also the D1 location maps are so awful lol (wow, we really used to live like that huh)

·       Cosmo lost sectors: nice. Hive labyrinth was fun. Sad they didn’t reuse like the Rasputin bunker but that’s chill

 Season of the Hunt:

·       I’m keen to see my BOYS Pulled Pork and Crow

·       SPIDER DON’T HURT CROW ISTG

·       Not sure what the seasonal content has in store

·       I hope it isn’t as boring as season of undying that sucked asss (obvs I have this worry since they spent the majority of the time developing Beyond Light/Europa, (I assume))

·       It looks like a combo of nightmare hunts and other seasonal public-style events

·       Maybe an escalation protocol/blind well style thing? Idk we’ll find out

 Overall:

·       BUGS! So many fucking bugs

o   you fucked up a perfectly good game, look at it, it has anxiety

o   omg bungie please help us

o   girl help, I’m trapped under the prison of elders grav lift thingo

o   girl help I’ve been launched into the wall at mach speed

·       GAMBIT:

o   You fucked up gambit too. You took all the cool shit out of Prime then mixed it with the lame shit from regular gambit to make gambit whatever the opposite of “prime” is

o   My idea for a better gambit TM:

o   Each class gets one (1) class item

o   They look like the prime class items except not coloured/glowy

o   There are 4 mods you can slot in the “combat style” mod slot ie the last slot

o   They’re like, idk 6 energy to slot

o   And they give you the gambit prime role! And the class item glows in the respective colour and you get an aura too

o   you get all the fun prime perks without having to grind r*ckoning and also have a full set of amour equipped, so you got freedom with your gear

o   it would be GOOD

o   sigh

o   gambit is the worst now

o   it’s like just as hard as prime was too but you don’t get good perks so you just eat shit

o   gambit rant over, moving on to planet rant:

·       YOU CAN’T SAY THAT FOUR CELESTIAL BODIES HAVE “DISAPPEARED” CANONICALLY ONLY LEAVING AN “ANOMOLY” (AS DESCRIBED BY WEBLORE) AND THEN

·       AND THEN fucking have CRUCIBLE AND GAMBIT MATCHES ON THE DISAPPEARED PLANETS

o   I totally get that for time, resources, crunch, and hell even desire would mean throwing out a heap of crucible matches would be not ideal because then there would be like 3 left

o   But

o   WHAT THE FUCK. Maybe if you said idk the vanguard has quarantined the four legacy planets due to the giant fucking darkness pyramids looming there so you’re not allowed to go there any more (as like an in game/lore reason for the planets being vaulted)

o   Cus like yeah you can’t patrol there anymore but drifter doesn’t care about vanguard sanctions so he can just ignore it for the gambit maps

o   And shaxx

o   Could like come up with a reason? Idk

o   It’s just really

o   Really

o   Stupid

·       I like the move towards being chill with gender (changing “male” and “female” to “Masculine” and “feminine” however I would like to see this go further. Ability to change your pronouns whenever you want, ability to change your characters gender presentation whenever you want, ability to be “androgynous” and use “they/them” pronouns

o   Like really, we’re space wizards in the far far future and some of us are even robots. there’s no doubt there would be trans guardians

Final thoughts:

I love this game, I love bungie, I am keen for what the future has to offer

But

I can’t help but feel like this is just another “beginning”

Like shadowkeep was supposed to kick off the era of darkness with the discovery of the first pyramid ship then we just had two random seasons after it that just felt like Curse of Osiris and Warmind Redux

Then arrivals was a phenomenal season

But yeah I was expecting things to be more high stakes I guess? The beyond light campaign didn’t feel very high stakes and it kinda just felt like “oh look you can use the darkness now”

in short, bungie hire me for good ideas and more queer characters