#maybe we could allow them to go to female only swimming lessons if they want to

[just-a-little-unionoid]

You know I think we can resolve a lot of our problems and moral dilemma by asking ourselves "does this really matters that much?"

[pasiveagressive]

Pen Pal // h.s.

Warning: light language, there is a mention of self harm, and some verbal abuse. 

Highschool AU This is really long for me 9.4k words and it’s not really done I am thinking a part 2 and maybe even a 3. Let me know what you think!

When she was five she was given a project from her teacher saying that she had to write to a pen pal. She had no idea what a pen pal was and how she got one, but she had told the class that a pen pal was someone who lived far away and we wrote a letter to them. Their letters were going to England to another class and they had to write them and they had to write back. This sounded fun. Teacher had a hat in her hands and when she passed it around we had to pick out a piece of paper that contained a name and an address. She took her's out and saw the name, it was a boy, she didn't like boys, well that wasn't true, the only boy's she liked were her brother, her best friend and her daddy. The teacher told the class they had to write to their pen pals for the whole school year.

#####

When she was ten, she still wrote to her pen pal, she didn't understand why she had been writing him for the last five years, but she had been. He was funny and easy to talk too, she thought that perhaps this boy was going to be her first crush, something she thought one of her brother's friends would be, but she was pretty sure this boy was. He helped her through a lot, like when Mommy and Daddy argued and doors slammed or when Mommy packed up her suitcases and left or when Daddy didn't come down from his room and her brother had to take care of her or when Daddy changed. He helped her a lot, and she helped him too, they sometimes even helped each other with their homework. She had found a true friend in him, and she hoped he felt the same about her.

#####

When she was twelve her Daddy let her have an E-Mail and she told the boy, he too had an E-mail and they talked on MSN all the time, but they still wrote letters to each other, personally hand written pieces of paper seemed much nicer than typed words on a screen. Her brother was about to be in high school now and she would be starting middle school next year. The boy had started middle school this year and it was the first time, she realized, that she knew how old he was. They would talk about homework; friends and she asked him questions about boys. The boy didn't answer a lot of them but she didn't mind, the only boy she cared about noticing her was him, but then something dawned on her. They may never meet.

When she was fifteen she started High School and the boy was a year ahead of her. Her mother had returned to the city, remarried, and she wanted to see her children, but she refused to go, as far as she was concerned her mother had abandoned her and her brother and her Father had taken care of them, but he had changed even more. Her brother would soon be off to college and she would still be here, her father wasn't so bad, only when he disapproved of something did he get angry, he never struck her, her brother would never allow it, he was protective over his baby sister especially now that boy's had started to notice her. She still wrote to the boy and told him all about her problems, it had been ten years and she could still confide in him and he confided in her and she liked it that way. It meant that somewhere she had someone who cared, someone who listened. Someone who knew her better than anyone.

###

She was sixteen when her world began to change, she still wrote to the boy and now she had a boyfriend, one of her brother's friends, she was a cheerleader and he was a soccer player and was on the swim team. Then she got a letter, it said that he had received a scholarship to her school and he was coming to New York, she was ecstatic and began to write him back when the pen suddenly fell from her hands as she realized something she had been denying. She had feelings for the boy with the elegant handwriting and who always wrote in blue pen. He couldn't come here, not when she had a boyfriend, but who was she kidding, they didn't know what each other looked like, so maybe she could hide who she was from him, the only thing he knew about he was her name and there was more than one Y/N in her school, but he never called her by her real name, when he was ten he gave her a nickname and nobody knew it except for him. She realized how ridiculous she was being, this boy had no romantic interest in her and if he did, what did it matter? She has a boyfriend now.

What she didn't know was when he came to New York her whole life would change and he would be a part of that change.

She had feelings for the boy with the elegant script and blue pen, and they were not going to go away.

"Ugh, how can you eat so much?"

Y/N Y/L/N looked at a friend with thinly veiled disgust, she had no idea where Maya put it all and considering she was eating cafeteria food, it made it just that much worse. Especially because today's menu was all seafood.

"Excuse me for being one of the few girls in the world that acknowledges a love for food." She said and then took a bite out of a fish stick and grinned.

"Hey, I like food just not too much." Y/N said, eyeing what could only be Maya's twentieth piece of fried fish.

"That's because you, my friend, are a cheerleader and must stay in impeccable shape." Maya winked and then went back to eating.

Y/N sighed, it was true, part of the reason as to why she didn't eat a lot was cheerleading, she needed to stay small so she could tumble and be thrown in the air. Maya seemed to resent her for the fact that she was a cheerleader, but Y/N could not help it if Maya did not have great hand eye coordination. She knew Maya didn't really like her, but she put up with having her around because Will and Joel liked her. She didn't know why Maya hated her, she thought it was partly because she was part of the in crowd and Maya thought that they were all snobs.

Y/N was no snob.

Someone patted her head and she turned to look and was looking into the kind eyes of her best friend.

Will Davis.

His brown hair was in his eyes, covering the chocolate orbs. He sat down, his skinny frame folding easily on the chair. He had to push his glasses from the end of his nose back up to where they were supposed to be. Y/N couldn't help but grin at him, he was so normal, that was why she opted to sit with him at lunch and not the—as Maya bluntly puts it—the popular hoes.

Y/N looked over at her other friends, they were crowded around their table near the window, laughing and joking, she saw her best friend Isabella and her brother Jack, they looked annoyingly happy. She was well aware that Jack liked Isabella but his feelings were not reciprocated, but Jack was a star at school, everyone wanted to be with him, especially Kayla.

Y/N hated Kayla.

"Well, I'm done; I'm going to go prepare for class." She smiled at the group and dumped the contents of her tray into the garbage and left her tray on top, leaving the cafeteria, she straightened out her uniform and remembered something.

She had had practice this morning and all of her bag was still in her locker, crammed into the small space. She had gotten a lift with her brother today so she had to put all of her stuff in his car. Huffing, she spun back around and walked over to her brother's table, feeling the eyes of her other friends on her, as if she was betraying them.

She knew that they thought sooner or later she would stop sitting with them and sit with the 'popular' crowd, but she sat with them because they were superficial, they were fun to be around and she liked them, even Maya on her good days.

"Jacky," she said, arriving at the table and stopping in front of her brother. He seemed to be in an overly animated conversation with Liam, her more or less boyfriend.

"Yes?" He looked up at her, sounding bored.

"I need your keys so I can put my stuff in your car." She held her hand out expectantly but Jack made no move to hand over the keys. She was aware that the group was staring and acutely aware that Kayla was practically drooling over her brother, she didn't see the big deal. She could admit that he was nice looking but hot? No way, then again he was her brother it would be weird if she thought he was a god like the rest of the school.

Jack was nearly eighteen and this was his senior year, along with Liam, Kayla and a few others. He received a lot of female attention and people were always asking if they were really related, Y/N could see why, they looked nothing alike.

Jack had silvery blonde hair and dark eyes, he was tall and had a soccer player's build, where Y/N had Y/C/H and Y/C/E, and had a frame that was slightly toned from nearly four years of cheerleading.

Y/N never understood why she was a cheerleader, she wasn't a girly girl and she didn't dress up a lot, she was more into art, but then cheerleading provided her with confidence and made her feel alive like nothing had before, she loved the feeling of being tossed into the air and soaring like a bird. It was freeing.

"How do I know that you aren't going to joy ride and leave me stranded here?" Y/N scoffed at this.

"Honestly, even if I was going to do that, you would never be stranded, I'm sure there are a million people who would give you a ride." She batted her lashes innocently at him.

He could never deny giving his sister anything, he loved her, he had taken care of her when Father had been unfit, he watched over her, he protected her.

"Fine, here, but give them straight back." He said firmly and she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah yeah." She said turning back and going to her locker. Maybe she should joyride, just to teach him a lesson, then again, that would be one time that Jack didn't protect her.

Y/N walked to her locker, putting in the combination and opening it; grabbing her bag she hauled it over her shoulder and was about to head out to the student parking lot when a hand gently grabbed her waist pulling her back. She raised her eyes to see Liam, smiling down at her.

Liam was her boyfriend, she supposed, they had been together for over a month now and Y/N was very happy. He was very good looking with brown hair that had a messy on purpose look, brown eyes, like melting chocolate, a tall stature and the build of a soccer player mixed in with the grace of a swimmer.

"Hey," he said as he moved, causing her to walk back and feel the cool metal of the locker's behind her.

"Hey," she said smiling. Liam's hand snaked out to play with a strand of her hair. He always played with her hair, Y/N didn't understand the fascination, it was a big frizz ball as far as she was concerned.

"Any plans tonight?" He asked while still fiddling with her hair.

"Sure, with the most wonderful man." Liam looked confused and let her hair fall back. "You should meet him, ever heard of Edgar Allen Poe?" She smirked as he shook his head.

"You are a devil woman." He moved so that Y/N could do what she had originally planned and put her bag in her brother's car.

"Walk with me?" She asked and he nodded, taking her bag and holding her hand.

She knew a lot of girls didn't understand why Liam was dating her; she didn't understand it herself, he was popular, the whole female population of Anchor Academy wanted him and threw dagger looks at her in the halls, but she revelled in it, for once she was envied, for once people wanted to be her.

Y/N deposited her bag in the boot of her brother's truck and turned to the back seat where she knew she had left her pencil box, she slid them into her brown leather backpack and locked the car—after closing the door—and spun to Liam. He had his hands on her hips and was staring down at her with a burning intensity.

"Do you want to do something tonight?" He asked in a shaky voice. They had never been this close before, they hadn't even done more than pecks, she didn't know what was stopping her but she knew she was grateful that he was patient, she wondered how long that would last.

"I can't, I'm sorry, but I have to finish this assignment." The bell rang then and Y/N now understood the meaning of the phrase saved by the bell. "I need to go, but I'll see you tomorrow?" She got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek, waving as she headed to class.

Y/N wasn't exactly lying to Liam, she did need to finish this assignment, but it wasn't due for another two weeks. Y/N knew why she didn't go out a lot on school days, but that was her secret.

#####

Y/N sat at her computer desk, researching for this English paper when her chat window came up.

Hello Y/N

Y/N smiled and typed back. They had been friends for eleven years now, he knew her inside and out as she knew him, except for the fact that they had no idea what the other looked like, she thought and he agreed that it would be better to keep their faces hidden, like real pen pals.

Y/N remembered the day she had been told she had to write to him and the day he walked into her life, never walking out.

Y/N sat at her seat next to her new friend Will. He was funny looking; he had really big glasses and funny hair. They were friends because Y/N saw him reading and she wanted to read too. 

"Okay guy, we are doing a fun new assignment called Pen Pals! This means, each of you will select a name from this hat," She held the hat out for show. "And you will write that person a letter and then they will write you one and you will keep replying until the end of the year. Does that sound like fun?" The teacher was overexcited, Y/N didn't see the big deal, she was writing to a stranger. Her mom always told her never to talk to strangers. 

The hat was passed around and Y/N dipped her hand in and pulled out a piece of paper, handing the hat to Will. She opened the paper and saw the name of her 'Pen Pal'.

Harry Styles

Under his name was what she thought was an address. She pulled out a piece of paper and a pencil and began to write her first letter.

Dear Harry...

You're distracting me from homework, Y/N replied to Harry. When she had started that assignment she had no idea she was going to make a lifelong friend, a best friend and she had, in Harry, he had been her first crush, even if she hadn't officially met him, Y/N had wanted him to be her first kiss too, but that was impossible in case she was able to get a plane to England and the little savings she had in her piggy bank, Father gave her money but she always used that on the weekends, going to movies or restaurants or clubs.

Really, what are you doing? 

She was about to respond when he wrote something else and she giggled.

More importantly, what are you wearing? ;)

Y/N shook her head; Harry was always a cocky smartass.

Edgar Allan Poe

You're wearing Edgar Allan Poe? Lucky guy

Oh haha! I am studying Edgar Allan Poe and wearing nothing

Harry didn't reply, which was uncommon for him, not much rendered him speechless, in the time they had spoken, be it through letter or internet, she had learnt a lot about Harry and his life, what he was like and what he was hiding, she felt as if she was one of the only people who knew the real Harry and somehow that made her feel lucky.

What poem?

He ignored the naked comment. Smooth.

Instead of typing the title, which he would then Google, Y/N wrote the poem to him, perhaps he could shed some light on it for she was having no luck.

Romance, who loves to nod and sing,

With drowsy head and folded wing,

Among the green leaves as they shake

Far down within some shadowy lake,

To me a painted paroquet

Hath been- a most familiar bird-

Taught me my alphabet to say-

To lisp my very earliest word

While in the wild wood I did lie,

A child- with a most knowing eye.

Of late, eternal Condor years

So shake the very Heaven on high

With tumult as they thunder by,

I have no time for idle cares

Through gazing on the unquiet sky.

And when an hour with calmer wings

Its down upon my spirit flings-

That little time with lyre and rhyme

To while away- forbidden things!

My heart would feel to be a crime

Unless it trembled with the strings.

Y/N awaited his response as she read over the lines of the poem herself. The poem was called Romance and Y/N really hoped Harry didn't read something onto the title.

Well Y/N, it seems you have a pickle in your hands here.

Ever the asshole, Harry didn't help her at all. She sighed, deciding he was too distracting for her to actually get work done.

I'm signing off, you really are no help. Talk to you soon. 

Y/N logged off before he could respond. For another hour she pondered what the poem could mean and then gave up and decided to concentrate on her art assignment. She was supposed to draw something that meant a lot to her but she couldn't think of anything except for Harry and she couldn't very well draw him, she had no idea what he looked like.

Then an idea no, more like an image, came to fruition within her thoughts and she began sketching, not knowing where this idea had come from, but she was going with it, it was all the help she was going to get.

Y/N awoke the next morning and sauntered into the kitchen, pouring herself some cereal she went to get milk when she saw the envelope sitting there, with her name written on the front in elegant script and written in blue biro. She knew who it was from immediately and sitting at the table, her breakfast forgotten, she opened the letter and started reading.

She was glad she didn't eat, because she probably would have just thrown it all up with the nausea she felt.

Harry was coming to New York, not only that he was coming to her school.

That was bad, he would see her, who she really was, who her friends were, what her friends were like, her brother and he would see what she looked like. Y/N suddenly felt extremely self conscious and opted not to wear her original outfit and instead wear baggy jeans, a tank top, a giant hoodie and ugly sneakers.

She didn't want Harry to see her because she knew, she knew that he would be beautiful and she was not, he would laugh at her and never speak to her again.

Y/N didn't think she could handle losing her friend, her best friend, her soul mate.

Y/N had never changed outfits so many times in her life.

She had gone from baggy, to slutty, to loose fitting, to tight, to exposing, to completely covered, and finally she decided to go for a mix and ended up in something she would normally wear. Looking at herself in the mirror she realised that being friends with Isabella had influenced her style way too much.

And even scarier, she had never put in this much effort to look nice for Liam.

Y/N was wearing a loose grey shirt with a leather belt that emphasised her small waist, a pair of black skinny jeans covered her legs and her feet were enclosed in ballet flats. Her hair was pinned on one side and her makeup was light, she wore no jewellery and she had her bag slung around her shoulders.

Y/N descended the stairs and grabbed a berry yogurt from the fridge for breakfast and waited for her brother.

Jack came down the stairs a few minutes later and nodded at her, picking up his backpack and an apple, grabbing his keys they were about to leave when their father came out from the study.

He was always in the study.

"Where are you going dressed like that?" He asked Y/N, his breath heavy with the scent of alcohol. Y/N looked down at her attire, not seeing anything wrong with it.

"What's wrong with it?" She asked cautiously, standing closer to Jack.

When her father drank, he drank until he couldn't see anymore and he always asked or commented on Y/N's looks and she knew why. She looked exactly like her mother. Jack always came to her rescue when he started on a tirade, she was grateful to have such a loving brother.

"It looks like you are trying to impress a man. I want to know who?" Y/N cringed back at the look her father gave her. She hated it when he was like this.

Ever since their mother had abandoned them, Y/N's father had indulged in Alcohol and, as a result, had lost his job. They had nearly lost their home until, one day; their father had snapped out of it and got himself together. He got another job and was earning good money, Jack got a part time job for extra money and Y/N also got a summer job to pay for art classes.

He still drank and when he did, Y/N would rather avoid him.

"No one sir, I was just trying out a new style."

"What's it called? Whore?"

"Father." Jack stepped in, standing between Y/N and their father. "Enough. You're drunk."

"Just like your mother, she abandoned you kids, I stayed and this is how you repay me? By looking like something out of a x-rated movie?"

Y/N bit her lip and kept her tears at bay.

He wasn't her daddy right now. He was the thing that their mother had made.

"Y/N," Jack whispered. "Go to the car." Y/N did and waited for Jack.

When he appeared she was fidgeting with her outfit.

"Y/N, you look beautiful. Don't listen to him."

She smiled as he unlocked the car. She put her stuff on the back seat and sat, buckling her seat belt and fiddling with the music as he took off towards school.

"But out of pure curiosity, who are you trying to impress?"

My pen pal from kindergarten who just moved to this school.

"No one, just trying something new."

#####

Harry rolled his eyes, walking along behind the chick giving him the tour of the school.

Isabella? That was her name he thought. She seemed to like to talk and look at herself and look at Harry. Typical Barbie teenager, he could have her in minutes if he wanted, but he was far too anxious about where he was and who he knew was here. He felt oddly nervous, but he didn't know why. He knew that he was good looking—okay, that was an understatement—he could get any girl he wanted with a snap of his fingers, but it was different now.

He knew everything about Y/N—except for what she looked like, which was a big thing for Harry. He could admit that he was shallow, he always went for the easy girls as opposed to any other girl, but he doubted that Y/N was easy.

The fact that she had a boyfriend said so.

Harry clenched his jaw at that thought, it was ridiculous to get annoyed over one word, but Y/N having a boyfriend was not the way he had pictured their first meeting to go. He expected her to fall into his arms or his bed, depending on the location.

He had to stop thinking of Y/N like that. They were friends, best friends, and had been since she was five and he was six, he loved her like a friend and cared about her. He lived for the days they would talk for hours. He loved being able to open up to her.

He loved having a girl as his friend that cared about him even though she had no idea what he looked like.

"And this is the cafeteria. You can sit with me, you said you played soccer right?" Harry nodded at Isabella's question. "Good, I sit with some soccer players." They walked into the room; it was white and blue with long tables and benches. There was a lineup for the food but Harry wrinkled his nose.

He never ate cafeteria food; he always brought his own lunch.

He had told his Grandmother this and she had packed him a lunch. His stomach growled thinking about it.

"Did you want some food?" She asked.

"I have some with me." He responded, giving her his signature smirk. She smiled back at him and batted her eyelashes as she trotted off to a table in the back with a group of boys and girls. Isabella sat and gestured to a spare seat next to her in which Harry took.

"Everyone," She announced, gesturing to the group as a whole. "This is Harry Styles, he's new. He moved here from England and he too plays soccer."

"Interested in trying out? We need a new player." A boy with light silver-white hair asked.

"Sure," Harry responded nonchalantly, when really the prospect of playing the game he loved so much gave him a kick of adrenaline.

"Excellent. Come to practice this afternoon." He reached over offering his hand. "I'm Jack, captain, goalie." Harry shook his hand, recognising the name.

My older brother, Jack, is starting second grade next year.

Jack starts high school soon.

My brother got into the soccer team.

Jack was made captain!

So, this was Y/N's brother. He studied the boy, trying to imagine his features on a girl. An image rose. Dark eyes, contrasting with a pale complexion, tall and stringy, like a beanstalk, with a bit of athleticism due to cheerleading and long silvery hair.

Harry wasn't entirely put off by the image.

"That's Isabella, as you know." Jack continued, pointing to the girl next to him. "Cherr captain. Laney and Kayla are also cheerleaders. Liam, Jared are also on the team. The others are around somewhere, but we all prefer each other's company."

Harry acknowledged everyone with a nod, noting that Liam was a boy with dark hair and eyes and was also, he suspected, Y/N's boyfriend.

This guy, one of my brothers' friends, asked me out so I won't be able to talk tonight.

Liam, the guy I went on a date with, asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes. 

Harry knew he was much better looking.

Harry looked around the cafeteria, trying to see if he could spot her.

"Ah," Jack said and here comes the most important member of our group.

Harry looked to where Jack was pointing and saw a girl walking towards them, tray in hand. Her eyes met Harry's and everything seemed to go silent. She was beautiful, not a generic beauty, but someone who didn't know how beautiful they were. Hair in a braid at her side, big luminous eyes widened as they looked at Harry. A small frame, with some muscle.

"Who?" Harry asked, not able to tear his eyes from her. His study happened in a split second; no one noticed that they had shared a moment.

A moment he would never forget.

"My sister."

The moment he first saw his Y/N.

#####

"Come on Y/N, you don't want to miss him, he is so hot." Stella, her partner in science, pushed Y/N out of the class.

She was trying to get Y/N to the cafeteria to see the new boy, she had heard about him all day and received an excited message from Isabella saying she was escorting him. She had heard he was hot but she knew something about him that no one else did.

The new boy was Harry Styles, her pen pal for over ten years.

Y/N was nervous as her and Stella approached the cafeteria, Stella scanned the room and her shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"He isn't here yet. Let's line up, by the time we get our food, he should be here."

Y/N waited in line, noting that her brother and boyfriend came through and immediately sat down. They never ate school food. Y/N was envious. She hated the oily, bland food they made. She made a note to go car shopping sooner so that she could leave during lunch and buy something.

Y/N got her tray and on it placed an apple juice, a salad, a chocolate muffin and a small bowl of Mac 'n' Cheese.

Y/N decided to sit at her Brother's table today—well Isabella had decided for her—and as she made her way over, she stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes met with him.

His eyes were bright, emerald green and his hair was shaggy and brunette, falling under his chin and just above his eyes. His skin was sun kissed and he had an athlete's build. He was the most handsome boy Y/N had ever seen. Then it registered.

She had never seen this boy before, he was sitting with her brother, her boyfriend and Isabella and he, too, was staring at her.

She felt a lump build in her throat and she didn't need Stella's input.

"That's him, the new boy."

Y/N gulped and suddenly felt the urge to run and hide.

The new boy.

Her boy.

Her best friend.

Harry Styles, her Harry.

Y/N was able to move from her spot once Stella broke the trance she had been in.

She didn't look at him when she got to the table, taking a seat next to Liam and realising with annoyance that Harry was across from her. She couldn't look at him, then they would all know. They would know she knew Harry, she cared for Harry and she couldn't let that happen.

"Hey baby," Liam said as she settled in her seat. Leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. Y/N's eyes inadvertently went to Harry as his lips made contact. His eyes blazed and his jaw tightened as Liam kissed her, but Y/N didn't understand why.

"Ow," Liam said as he pulled away, glaring at Jack. "Who just throws bread at someone?"

"That's my sister," Jack said. "Next time, it won't be bread."

"Jack, you are so overprotective. I am not a baby anymore" Y/N said, looking at her brother. It was the first words she had spoken since seeing Harry. She didn't look at him or tried not to anyway.

"Y/N!" Isabella said excitedly, drawing her attention. "This is Harry Styles; new guy from England, your brother is letting him try out for the team!"

Isabella, I know more about him than you, shut up and stop looking at him like that!

Y/N let her gaze go to Harry.

"Really? You must be something special to get that stubborn JACKass to let you try out." She smiled innocently at Jack.

"Oh you have no idea." Harry replied, his voice like heaven.

"We'll see about that." Liam said, slinging his arm around Y/N. "Are you coming to see his tryout babe?"

Y/N looked over at Harry who smirked at her quickly before glancing down at his untouched lunch. He seemed to have packed lunch, Y/N found that cute.

"Wouldn't miss it."

###

Y/N changed into some workout clothes.

"Alright," Isabella said as they stretched on the field. "We are going to practice the cheers for next weeks game, because frankly you suck at it. Let's go!"

Isabella was nothing if not direct.

She looked out at the field and saw Liam; he smiled and waved to her. Jack saw this and whacked him over the head.

Y/N couldn't help but laugh at that.

Then she noticed Harry and all laughter died as they looked at one another from across the field. He was shirtless, and boy did he look good, and he made it no secret to check her out. Y/N turned from him before Liam or Jack saw the look Harry was giving her.

She was distracted all through practice, but luckily, she wasn't the worse one here. A lot of the other girls were distracted by Harry too. Y/N tried not to dwell on that.

As the cheerleaders were packing, Y/N noticed Jack and Harry shaking hands and smiling.

He must have made the team

She saw Liam then and he began to walk over to her, she smiled and walked over to him, after having packed up what she was supposed to, and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on top of hers.

"So, Harry is a pretty good player isn't he?" Y/N said as she pulled away from Liam, taking his hand and walking to where she would change.

"Yeah, I guess so, hopefully he will be enough to get us out of this slump."

"I'm sure he will be." They had reached the entrance to the girl's locker room and Y/N looked up at Liam, his brown eyes smiling at her.

"Do you want me to take you home?"

Y/N was about to say no, that Jack gave her a lift to school and would take her home but then she thought about how little time she spent with Liam and nodded, hurrying to get changed and coming back out in record time.

"That was fast." He commented, smirking at her as he took her school bag.

"Well, I wanted to spend time with you." Y/N crinkled her nose. The girl's locker room always smelled like perfume, too much perfume and all of different scents. It got quite difficult to breathe in there.

"Cutie."Liam bent down and brushed his lips over Y/N's. 

Liam pulled back grinned, Y/N stood and stared up at him, unable to form words.

The kiss was small, short and...Nice.

"Why Miss Y/L/N I do believe my kissing has stunned you into silence. I am quite good."

Y/N shook her head and shoved his arm playfully, about to say something smartass back to him when something caught her eyes. A flash, retreating into the boys' locker room.

Harry?

She turned back to Liam and they continued walking, they were nearly at his car when she remembered something. Slapping a hand to her forehead. Liam looked down at her in concern.

"Shoot, I forgot my homework in my locker. I'll be right back." She began to run towards the school.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"I'll meet you at the car in a couple of minutes." She called back to him, dashing into the doors and running to her locker.

She put in the combination and got the book she needed, shutting her locker door she turned to go and jumped, seeing something she hadn't noticed before.

"Well, alone at last."

Y/N looked up at the person before her, feeling her insides melt.

"Harry," She breathed, unable to say anything but his name.

"Well Y/N, we meet at last."

Y/N looked up at Harry. She wasn't ready for this, no matter how many times she told herself she was, she wasn't and she realised she never would be ready to meet Harry. He was someone that she could turn to when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was someone she could tell everything to—she had told everything to him and he was her best friend, someone who knew her better than anyone and now that he was here, she regretted telling him all those things. She regretted letting Harry in.

"I should go," she mumbled and started to walk away. Harry grabbed her arm and she spun, nearly head butting his chest. For a moment she stood frozen and, annoyingly, a song started playing through her head, one that she should not be thinking about when she had a boyfriend.

At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over.

"Y/N" Harry whispered and she saw how close their faces were, his lips mere centimetres from hers. If she leaned forward, just a little, they would kiss and she had thought about kissing Harry plenty. Harry seemed to be thinking the same thing. His eyes travelled down to her lips and then back to her eyes. He was about to say something. Y/N wanted to hear it, she wanted to hear what he had to say to her, but the trance they were in was broken when Harry smirked down at her and spoke.

"I always imagined our meeting to go a little...differently."

Y/N didn't like his tone and managed to step out of his grip on her arm.

"You've imagined our meeting?" She asked, her voice coming out a little breathlessly.

"All the time, Y/N," she tried not to think of how her nickname—the name only he called her—sounded like a caress. "I mean, we've known each other for years and we have never met. I've always wondered what it would be like." He grinned wickedly at her and Y/N felt herself respond with a small, teasing, smile. One Isabella had taught her.

Damn her flirting classes to the pits of hell!

"Well, it's great to, you know, finally meet you. We should definitely hang out some—" Harry placed a hand over her mouth and moved his eyes in the direction of an empty room. Y/N felt her brow furrowed in confusion and then she registered the sound of footsteps. She didn't have time to respond before Harry was walking towards the room, with her in tow, locking the door and pulling the blind down.

"Harry," She hissed. "What are you—?"

"Y/N?"

The voice came from the hallway and Y/N widened her eyes as she recognised it. Harry put a finger to his lips in the international sign for silence.

"Y/N, baby?"

Liam was walking past the door and Y/N had to resist the urge to yell out his name, Harry saw this and leaned into her, whispering in her ear. His breath caused her to shiver.

"Y/N, I just want to talk to you alone."

"Harry, he's my ride home and my boyfriend," she said defensively.

"Text him and tell him you need to do something really quickly and you'll be out soon."

Y/N looked up at Harry, planning on defying him and then she thought about it. She would never be alone with Harry again and she had wanted to meet him—talk to him in person—for years. Perhaps she should listen.

She took her phone out and sent a quick text to Liam.

Hey babe. Running late, meet you out the front in a few? Sorry for taking so long xox

Harry gave her an approving look as they heard Liam's phone go off and he headed back down the hallway, leaving the school.

"Okay, you have five minutes, what?" She asked Harry.

The Harry in her head looked like the Harry before her except for the attitude. Her Harry was sweet, funny and romantic. Harry, though funny, didn't seem to have anything sweet in him.

"Cute," Harry said and she looked up seeing one corner of his mouth was turned up in a smile.

"What is?" She asked.

"You," he grinned and Y/N grinned back. Then her smiled faded as he kept looking her up and down. Y/N squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutiny. He was looking at her like...like a piece of meat, ogling her. This was not how she imagined Harry would look at her; she imagined kindness to shine from his eyes and a feeling of safety to wrap around her.

Right now, all she felt was...uncomfortable.

"Look Harry," Y/N said, raising her eyes to his. "I really need to go," she said firmly, trying to get him to shake off the look of a stranger checking out the best piece of ass. He didn't.

"Oh Y/N, I have been waiting to meet you for over ten years and you're just going to walk away from me?" He shook his head. "I thought we were friends, best friends."

"We were—are—but Harry, I really need to go. I'll—I'll talk to you later, tonight, okay?" He gave her a curious look.

"No girl," he said slowly, "has ever walked away from me. It is unfamiliar and quite disconcerting. I don't like it very much but it seems to make you far more endearing. I enjoy a good chase, Y/N," he raised his eyebrows suggestively. "But be warned, I am quite good at catching what I want."

Y/N looked at him with disgust and shoved past him.

So this was who her best friend really was, an asshat that liked to use girls. Well, she wasn't going to be one of them.

"If I had known this is what you were really like," she said, hand on the door knob, turning to face him, "I never would have kept writing to you."

Harry drummed his fingers in time with the music on the steering wheel of his car.

He was driving to a local corner store, a mini mart of sorts, to get some things for his grandmother. He didn't mind helping her. She was letting him live with her, rent free and even gave him money for doing her favours. Harry didn't want to take it, but she was pushy and would put it in his wallet while he was asleep.

He smiled at the thought.

"I never would have kept writing to you."

His smile fell as that unpleasant thought worked its way into his mind and he slammed his hand, hard, on the steering wheel, berating himself. He couldn't believe how bad his meeting with Y/N went. He was such an ass. He knew he was, he could proudly admit it and also admit to the fact that there was no hidden reason behind his being an ass, no woman who scorned him, no abusive relationship with his parents and no reason at all.

Except that he was an ass and he enjoyed being an ass.

Mostly.

His arrogance only got him so far in life. Sometimes he would have to reel it in and suck up his pride and stop being an ass. Perhaps he should have done that with Y/N.

She had always been there for him, since he was six years old and first received her letter. When he found out she was a girl he was instantly annoyed, girls had cooties, but he wrote back anyway. That stupid egg headed boyfriend of hers had  called her baby and Harry had to suppress a laugh at that, he had had so many babies in his short life and knew that more would come. But there is only one Y/N

It had been a week since Y/N had spoken to him and if she did look at him, she glared. It bothered Harry, more than he was willing to admit, that this girl he had known for so long—and had finally met—may hate him. He had no one but himself to blame, it was easy to act differently when typing on a computer or writing a letter.

Harry only acted that way with family and very close friends. Never had he acted the way he had with Y/N with any other girl. He had never given them special nicknames or blown off parties to 'hang out'. He never stayed up all night talking or anxiously awaiting a reply.

He had never wanted someone like he wanted Y/N.

Not in a physical way, although she was remarkably good looking. He wanted Y/N on an emotional level too. He wanted to kiss her if he wanted and do things to her he had done before with other girls, but he also wanted to be able to talk to her, to tell her how he felt and have her listen and in turn, listen to her.

Was this love he was feeling? Had he fallen in love with the girl who never wrote in cursive and never stuck to one pen colour?

Harry thought about it and a startling revelation came to him.

He was most definitely in love with Y/N.

There was no other way to explain his feelings and even—dear god!—the silly grin that was now on his face as he thought about it. He pulled up to a red light and groaned, hitting the steering wheel.

I'm in love with my best friend and treated her like crap.

God he was stupid.

Y/N had been a constant in his life. He had always been able to turn to her for comfort and she had turned to him. He knew more about her than anyone probably did. He knew that when her mother left, Y/N had cut one line along her wrist and then looked at herself in disgust for doing it because her mother didn't deserve her blood. He knew that she hadn't spoken to her mother—Val—since she walked out, and he knew what her father would call her when he was drunk.

He knew her favourite colours, movies, T.V. shows, books and what she wanted to do. He knew her fears and her dreams. He knew that she loved carrots and detested broccoli. He knew that she would only ever dot her I's with hearts if hell froze over, and she liked to draw smiley faces on the toes of her converse.

He smiled thinking about it all and then he saw her in his memory, the way she had looked when he had first laid eyes on her and his heart sped up.

I am in love, aren't I?

He didn't understand how he was in love. He always thought he would fall in love when he was older. He knew Y/N, inside and out and he realised that he had been falling in love with her, slowly, since that first letter and had been in love with her long before he saw her.

Harry jolted with surprise at that, as the light turned green and he continued to drive, he was shallow. He knew it. He only ever paid attention to a girl if she was good looking and flaunted it; tight tops, pants, short skirts, the lot. If you didn't have any of that, he wasn't interested.

With Y/N it was different, he had never seen her before and yet he always wanted to spend his time with her. Re-reading her letters, seeing if she was online, anything really. He made excuses to stay in and talk to her. He would rush home if he knew he would receive a letter from her and butterflies would go crazy in his stomach as he saw the envelope.

She always wrote on nice stationery and sprayed the letter with perfume.

He loved going on her words, tracing them with his fingers.

God, Harry thought as he pulled into the car park for the store and got out, locking his silver Audi and moving to the entrance of the store.

He froze for a moment, the last thought in his mind, whirring around as he looked at the one person behind the counter and his heart soared. They didn't see him and he ducked into an aisle as he calmed his heart and that thought that was still nagging at him.

God, I'm in love with Y/N.

#####

"Isabella, I only have a short break, what do you want?"

Y/N held the phone against her ear and shoulder as she listened to Isabella babble about the upcoming school dance. She rolled her eyes, her school had too many dances. This one was a welcoming back dance, although it wasn't scheduled for another month or so, but Isabella always had to start preparing early.

"I'm thinking blue, maybe. I think I look good in blue and gold for you. Maybe not blue, that would clash with the gold. I know, red! I'll wear red and gold and you can wear gold and red!" She chirped excitedly.

"What's the difference?" Y/N asked, opening her chocolate bar.

"Red is my feature colour, so it will be the colour of my dress and nails and lip stick and I will have gold shoes and accessories. Gold will be your feature colour and red you sub colour. Duh Y/N, have I taught you nothing?"

She rolled her eyes, thankful that Izzy couldn't see her.

"Alright, but red and gold remind me of curtains."

"Curtains?"

"Yeah, like older mansions always had red curtains and gold ropes and poles," she shrugged. "Reminds me of curtains, plus, red doesn't go with skin tone.”

"So what colour would you suggest for yourself?"

"Black."

There was a pause and then Isabella yelled into the phone.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N! You are not going to another dance in a black dress! For the love of God! Wear some colour!"

"But black is—"

"Black is a colour you wear once in a while. Not. At. Every. Social. Function," Isabella ground out and Y/N winced. "That's it! I managed to get you to dress like a girl everyday now I have to get you to dress in colours when we go out. I am scheduling a shopping trip...Two weeks before the dance. For now, we will browse online."

"Isabella—"

"What are you wearing right now?"

"A skirt and top."

"Elaborate, Y/N. Shape, colour, design?"

She sighed but continued, knowing Isabella wouldn't stop until she had an answer.

"A green skirt that is longer at the back and zips up the front and a white tank top tucked into the waist band of the skirt. My shoes are white enclosed with a wedge heel design and I am wearing gold bracelets and a silver necklace with a heart on it."

"Good girl, see? If it weren't for me, you'd be dressed like Will." Y/N didn't try to deny it.

"Isabella, I really think—"

"No excuses. It's written. It's done. Get your fabulously dressed butt back to work and call me later."

Isabella hung up and Y/N stared at the phone for a moment before sighing and putting it back in her bra—girl's gotta do what a girl's got to do—and headed back out to the register, where Mr. Stark had been managing the register.

Mr. Stark owned the small convenience store that Y/N worked at and had been good friends with her father—still was apparently, and she got the job with no problems. The pay was good and the hours flexible.

Smiling at the old man, she took her seat behind the register and waited, flipping through a magazine as she did. She heard the bell above the door chime but didn't look up, until she felt a tingle go through her and when she looked, no one was there. She frowned and then shrugged. They probably went down an aisle.

Returning to her magazine, Y/N thought through Isabella's words.

Did she need to wear more colours? Did Isabella have a point in helping her change her wardrobe from drabby to, as she says, fabby?

Looking down at herself, her style had definitely changed and Y/N liked it, maybe she should stop wearing black dresses to every dance.

Y/N saw in her peripheral a customer approach and stowed her magazine away, scanner in hand. Looking up she saw, to her dismay, who it was that was placing the items down. Locking her jaw, she decided not to acknowledge him and started scanning and placing in the paper bags that Mr. Stark used, insisting it was better than plastic. When she finished scanning, she was annoyed to find that she had to acknowledge his presence.

"Will that be all?" She asked, not quite meeting Harry's eyes. The green seemed to blaze into her.

"I think so, Y/N." The name was like a caress and Y/N had to suppress a shiver of delight. "Actually," Harry amended and Y/N looked up from typing in the total. "One more thing, when do you get off?"

"Do you use that line on every girl?" She asked, typing in the total as Harry fished bills from his wallet and handed them to her.

"Only girls I like." Y/N didn't pause in counting his change, but his words caused a thrill to go through her. "So, when do you get off?"

"Why?" She asked, handing him back his change.

"Because I want to talk, don't friends usually talk?"

"Friends yes, I wasn't aware we were friends Harry," she responded, still refusing to meet his gaze.

"Y/N," He sighed. "What I said, it was completely out of line. I—I'm sorry. I was so nervous meeting you. I mean, you imagine something for so long you want it to go perfectly and then you lose all sense and start blabbering." He ran a hand through his hair and Y/N finally met his gaze.

She could see that he was sorry, in the depths of green there was regret.

"I get off at 4," she said, which was an hour away.

"Would you mind—would you mind if I took you home?"

Y/N looked up at him and saw that he was nervous. Harry had always seemed so confident in his letters and typing that she hadn't thought he could get nervous and with his looks, she thought there was no need. Although what he had said to her still hurt, she had known Harry was a player, he had told her as much, but she had never thought—never imagined—that he would treat her like one of those countless other girls, and that hurt more than words could describe.

Her decision was made as she quickly mulled that over and she told him her answer.

[clarajulia]

i really took my time with these haha

1. What would the happiest and best version of yourself look like?

all connected to the earth, aligned, happy, feeling free and having people around me that i love. feeling secure and settled within myself

2. What message/advice would you give to your past self?

to be more aware when going into a relationship not to lose myself, to still be in touch with my feelings and my own sense of self. but on the other hand, i think it was necessary for me to have experienced that or else i wouldn’t be so strong in that today, i wouldn't have learned my lesson so i guess everything works out the way it does. 

3. What is your happy place and why?

going to bed at night with my cat awaiting me.

alternatively, the company of my best friend @incompletedolphin because she just makes me feel so happy

4. Have you ever been in a toxic relationship? How did you get out of it? Any advice?

i’ve experienced toxic friendships like i guess most people when they're growing up. it was hard for me to bring up the nerve and self respect to walk away from that but in the end, like i said, everything shapes you to be the person that you are now so i wouldn’t change anything about the way that happened for me.

5. If money didn't matter (if you earned enough money from it) what job would you want to have and why?

musician, singer but i guess everybody knows that that’s the path i’m already taking so other than that:

be a free painter, artist, expressing my mind and feelings in art

6. Do you have your happiest memory? If you don't mind sharing please tell us about it.

one that immediately pops in my head is when me and my friend group at the time were sitting in the hallway of our school and i had just finished recording and producing my first song that i had worked on foreverrrr and i showed it to them and we all cried

7. Do you have your saddest memory? If you don't mind sharing please tell us about it.

i think when i was nine and my rabbit died that i loved unconditionally and my grandma came over to cheer me up (that was shortly after my cat had died too first). i played a song on the piano for my rabbit, sobbing, and my grandma sobbed too and hugged me tight. i just remember feeling so incredibly sad like i had just lost a family member. i missed him so much for such a long time.  

8. What is the movie/book/tv show that made you think a lot or made you change something about yourself?

bojack horseman is the best, deepest, most thought-provoking tv show that i know

9. If you ever were to write a book what would it be about?

i guess art and the way i see the world. the way in which i experience life. and how to me every notion, every cell, every breath, every moment and emotion is art and something to be cherished. and also how easily we get lost in our heads. 

10. Do you have a strange habit?

watching films half and never finishing them

11. Have you ever met a person that drastically changed your life?

yes i have, meeting my best friend in 5th grade has forever changed my life, meeting my boyfriend has drastically, suddenly changed my life.

12. How would you describe yourself in 5 words ?

messy head in cloud mind

13. What is your idea of a perfect day?

spending it with someone (maybe even a person i don't know so well) just us two, not in a group, spending all day outside, making tea, having unforced deep talks, doing things i don't usually do! go swimming, make a fire maybe, play basketball things like that

14. Do you have any embarrassing stories from your life?

i have so many embarrassing videos of me at 12 years old it’s not cool

15. What is the strangest thing you've done or seen ?

honestly, frankfurter hauptbahnhof.

16. What is your gender identity? Do you think you do a lot of stereotypical things that are assigned to your gender?

i think there are crazy high expectations to fit as a female, mostly to please men or to be seen as “sociaty-ly pretty”

17. If you could bring one character from a book to life, who would it be and why?

i hardly ever read so this question is hard for me to answer but i’m sure i’d have a lot to learn from the boy in “the alchemist” which so far is my favourite book i’ve read

18. Do you have a person in your life that makes you feel special or a person that you feel like you're soulmates with?

i do. there’s a couple people that make me feel really special. but my favourite person on this earth is my best friend lilén and i believe friends can be soulmates, maybe even more than lovers.

19. What has been the hardest thing you had to deal with? Do you have any advice on how to deal with a similar situation?

heartbreak. 

i have no advice because i’m still figuring it out. but what i’ve learned so far is the importance of letting yourself hurt, really allowing yourself to feel everything that there is because that’s the only way for things to really get better. 

20. What are you currently waiting for?

summer. and my first tattoo that i’m getting tomorrow.

[fantasyfandommaiden]

ML Counsellor AU: It’s not photoshopped

One of the downsides to being the owner of the ‘Gabriel’ brand was that he had the final say on all advertisement pictures before they were released to the press… however the more he looked at the latest photos, the more he found that something… wasn’t quite right.

~~~~~~

Gabriel was fighting a massive headache that even tylenol wouldn’t fix. He honestly just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, but if he didn’t approve of these photos by the end of the day, than they would be late to the magazine release and he wasn’t going to allow that to happen. 

They were mainly for the new fragrance line, as well as some of the winter clothes (it was currently late Summer, early Autumn but if they didn’t get those photos done now than it would be late for the season) however there was something… off about the photos that he was having an issue with. Adrien’s face seemed sharper than usual with the close ups, and his body was more lean. 

He looked like he was a fair bit thinner than he should be. Gabriel actually brought up photos taken several months ago to make sure that his eyes weren't playing tricks on him, but no, he did look far thinner.  

Gabriel called Nathalie into his office, still looking down at the photos with a scowl on his face. “... Something wrong with the photographs sir?” Nathalie asked with her usual professional tone. 

“... The latest photographs, did they go through our photoshop standards already?” Gabriel asked, still looking at the photo. 

Nathalie raised an elegant brow at the question “... Yes sir. Elle did it to your standards, with only color and lighting corrections, as well as getting rid of any obvious blemishes.” Nathalie stated calmly.

 Gabriel hated how many fashion models (who were already far thinner than they should be) were often photoshopped to be thinner or had any birthmarks, freckles, or scars were made to disappear. He actually had a female runway model who had a large birthmark across her eyes that almost looked like a mask. She had been one of Gabriel’s first models for the brand, and although she was almost 30, he had no plans to ‘retire’ her unless she wished to. He did plan to offer her a chance to be a modelling coach however. 

He also knew that Elle, who was one of the best editors he had in the brand, would never make this dramatic of a change to the photos without contacting him first. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath before standing. “Has Adrien returned from fencing class?” he asked Nathalie, looking at her. 

~~~~~

Adrien was in his room, working on his homework when there was a knock at his door. “Come in.” he called, turning in his chair as the door opened. His eyes widened when his father entered the room, looking at Adrien. “F-Father… Hello!” he said as the man walked over to him.

“Adrien, stand up.” he stated, and Adrien instantly stood up, wondering what this could be about. Gabriel looked intensely at his face, than slowly looked down at the rest of him, actually lifting his hand to look at his wrist, a slight scowl on his face. “... Adrien, have you been eating the full meals provided to you by the chief?” he asked. 

Adrien blinked at the question “Yes father.” he responded quickly, but that answer seemed to cause him to scowl even more, so he guessed it was the wrong answer “I-Is there a problem?” 

“I was looking at your photos from your latest shoot, and noticed you are far thinner than last time.” Gabriel explained “Have you been doing other physical activities beside fencing and basket ball?” 

“No, not really.” Adrien stated rather quickly. Too quickly, and Gabriel could feel a spike of panic and guilt… he was lying. 

Gabriel looked down at Adrien with a stern expression “... Adrien, you shouldn’t lie to me. I know when you're lying. It’s important for me to know these things so that you are eating enough for the amount of calories you use in a day.” he responded to him. “I realise that your diet is very strict, and you have been enjoying your freedom, but you are clearly losing weight, and I refuse to allow this to continue because it is very bad for your health.” he stated to him.

Adrien looked at him wide eyed, bitting his bottom lip slightly “... Okay, so, with all of the akuma attacks that have been happening lately, I have started learning how to do parkour with some friends.” he stated slowly, looking at his father. “I realise that Gorilla- I mean, my bodyguard, is always there to protect me, but sometimes, like when it happens during school, we need to evacuate quickly, so me and some classmates thought that learning parkour would help us escape the situation more quickly.” 

Gabriel looked at him with a raised brow “... I don’t recall signing any forms for you to take on more lessons.” 

Adrien winced slightly, resisting the urge to fidget “It’s not a formal class or anything. During our breaks between class, it's usually like ten minutes, me and some of my classmates will go over some basic moves in the gym. Two of my classmates, Kim and Alix, are very athletic, and have been teaching us stuff like how to fall properly and do proper techniques. Kim is actually a junior lifeguard and swim instructor, and Alix has been doing this since she would walk so, also there is always at least one teacher in the gym to supervise … I just figured it would be something good to know. I didn’t tell you, because it’s not a formal class, it doesn’t take up much of my time either.” Also, you wouldn’t approve had gone unsaid. 

Gabriel looked down at him for a long while, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Adrien, parkour can be very dangerous if done incorrectly.” the man began and Adrien was just waiting for him to say ‘these children are bad influences on you, and you should stay away.’ 

“However, the fact you took initiative with your safety is good.” Gabriel complimented. “I wish you had told me sooner, because I am guessing this has been going on for awhile, yes?”

Adrien nodded “Shortly after the Stoneheart incident.” 

Gabriel scowled, remembering the first akuma that started this all with the face off against Ladybug and Chat Noir. “Yes, that. So for a long while, meaning your dietitian has been unknowingly underfeeding you. How often do you have these… ‘lessons’.” 

Adrien blinked, not believing that his father hadn’t pulled him out of this yet… but then again, this was an activity having to do with his safety so maybe that was why. “Um… it’s not very formal, but usually three maybe four times a week? During breaks that would amount to…. Four extra hours of physical activity.” 

Gabriel nodded “Very well, I will have Nathalie book another appointment with your dietitian, where I expect you to tell him in full ALL of the physical activities you do so we can have throughout the week Adrien.” he stated, looking at his son now realising that on top of him losing some weight he seems to have grown taller. A small, ghost of a smile appeared on his face “... I would have had to call anyway, if you're anything like me, you're bound to hit your growth spurt soon.” 

Adrien’s eyes widened as he looked at his father “... So, you’ll allow me to continue?” “I should have been informed about this before you started, seeing it can be dangerous and I don’t like being deceived, but since you are learning it so you will be able to get out of situations with akumas more quickly, I will allow it, on the condition that you wear proper safety equipment.” 

Adrien blinks “... Like, a helmet?” he asked slowly, dreading the thought of his friends comments on him going to one of their hangouts wearing a bike helmet. 

“No, helmets would get in the way with somersaulting if not built correctly and would cause damage to the neck. I mean things like wrist and knee guards. Also to wear loose clothing, and long pants so when you do fall, your less likely to scrap yourself against the ground.” Gabriel stated in a matter of fact tone. 

Adrien looked at his father in shock “... How do you know this stuff father?” 

Gabriel was quiet for a long moment before replying in a monotonous voice “During my time in design school we had a project were we had to design active wear, so I did extensive research on the topic. It appears even after all these years I still retain some of the information.” he stated evenly before turning around “I will make sure that the chief gives you some extra helpings tonight so we can get your weight back to normal.” 

“Ah!” Adrien called out and Gabriel looked over his shoulder with a raised brow. Adrien almost lost his nerve but began to speak anyways “Could I request lasagna for dinner tonight?” 

Gabriel looked at his son for a long moment. “The cooking staff has already prepped tonights meal and started when I came up to speak to you, it would be rude to have them change the entire meal plan so late now.” Adrien slumped slightly, nodding. “... Of course father.” 

Gabriel stood where he was for a moment longer, still looking at his son over his shoulder “I have some more work to attend to tonight, so I won't be joining you for dinner.” to which Adrien just gave a solemn nod, expecting that really. 

“... However, I will request that the cooking staff make lasagna tomorrow night.” Adrien perked up slightly, looking at his father who still had a fairly neutral expression. “And provided that I get all of my work together, I may join you.” 

Adrien grinned widely “That would be great father, I look forward to it!” 

~~~~ 

Sadly, there was an akuma attack that afternoon and Nathalie had to be the one to inform Adrien how his father was too busy to join him for dinner. The lasagna, which he had no doubt was very good, didn’t taste as nice as he believed it would.

[waejinyoung]

Can’t Swim - EP . 6

word count: 4.8k+

a/n: dont hate me pls, i swear Jinyoung is okay... kinda. yall gonna hate me for this ending too

warning: swearing, hospital setting, mentioning of injuries

EP . 1 , EP . 2 , EP . 3 , EP . 4 , EP . 5 , EP . 6 , EP .7 , EP . 8 , EP . 9

The day started well but it didn’t last long. The call from Jooheon led the day to plummet into a shit hole. The eco hotel was now under your guys’ belt but Jinyoung was now a patient in the local hospital. Shit really hit the fan.

Monday Afternoon

You had rushed back into the meeting room and said your apologies to both Beck and Mr Chan. You were sure this was a good enough reason to rush out of an important meeting like this one. You took note to let them both know the reason why you had to leave once things had died down.

Now you were at the hospital outside of Jinyoung’s room waiting for the doctor to come out. What could have gone wrong for him to be hospitalised?

“Miss?” The doctor left Jinyoung’s room and saw your concerned frame.

“Yes. Is Jinyoung okay?”

“His condition is currently stable. We are running some scans to check his condition. We’ll be able to comment in better detail once the results are out.”

“What did he come to the hospital with?” She looked up at you after rereading Jinyoung’s record.

“It looks like he was strangled. He also seemed to have taken a great impact in his right eye, he mentioned momentarily not seeing hence why we need to run some things.”

“Doc, you’re telling me he was strangled and punched.”

“Not punched. He was strangled up against a wall to the point where he passed out. The suspect left him to drop causing the patient’s eye to collide with a surface.” You understood the collision analysis. It was possible to hit something when falling in the leisure centre. Stairs, fencing, shower steps, (etc).

“And have the authorities found out who did it?”

“A male by the name of Max Poach. He had some minor scratches, most likely by Mr Park whilst trying to resist the strangling although I can’t confirm. He’s in a check-up room near reception for your interest.” Your face dropped. He took it this far…

With that the doctor went back to doing her rounds leaving you to process all of what you just heard. Max left Jinyoung there passed out? He took whatever it he was building up inside, all the rage and anger and acted so viciously all for what? You didn’t even know if you could step inside Jinyoung’s room. Whilst you were debating with your head in your knees on your seat you heard a load of rushing footsteps coming your way. You couldn’t even bother lifting your head up to see who they were. They stopped in front of you before entering the room. Who did you have to confront?

“Y/N?” Sounds like Mark.

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fucking fault.” Mark looked at Jaebeom who was beside him. The rest stayed at JYP to continue with their company meeting. If it was a serious case under their judgement they decided they would call the rest to come.

“How is he?” You picked up on Jaebeom’s presence too.

“I just came.. I-I don’t…” You started sobbing. You couldn’t bring yourself to enter the room. You didn’t want to see the damage done to someone you… you didn’t even know… did you love him?

“Shhh… Y/N. None of this is your fau-“ Mark tried to calm you down but you predicted this phrase to escape his mouth.

“It is Mark. These two know of each other because of me. They had a serious fight because of me. If I was just there today… may-maybe just maybe I could have stopped it.”

“You weren’t teaching today?” Jaebeom was confused.

“I-I had a meeting with that important client I men-mentioned last time we met. Usually when I don’t come to lessons, Max takes over. Jooheon, my boss, rang to say everything was fine but it’s not f-fine.” You were practically crying at this rate. You couldn’t believe things had gone too far. You imagine what sort of hopeless situation Jinyoung must have been in. Strangled and left passed out. It just triggered you to cry more.

“Y/N. Me and Jaebeom are going to go inside. You can join us soon once you’ve calmed down and ready, okay?” Mark kneeled down to your level and made sure to make eye contact, you looked up at both of them and gave them a slight nod.

“Just knock and we’ll be there. Don’t worry. We’ll get through this Y/N.” Jaebeom patted your head as they passed you and entered the room.

THIRD PERSON POV

Mark and Jaebeom entered the room slowly just in case Jinyoung was asleep resting. This wasn’t the case. Jinyoung was up and turned his head slowly towards his members.

He had bandaging wrapped around his neck restraining him from any sudden movements. Packed cushioning on his right eye held by some more bandaging. The colour from his face had drained. He was already pale but now he was just like a sheet of paper. He looked ill. The life out of him sucked out. What the fuck had Max done…

“Before you ask, yes she’s here. She’s trying to muster up the courage to come in. She’ll be here once she’s ready.” Max beat Jinyoung to his question.

“I don’t blame her. Look at me.” Jinyoung signalled at his battered state.

“We all know you could have retaliated but it’s too risky. You have a lot on the line. The group being one of them so thank you.” Jaebeom grabbed a chair and sat near Jinyoung.

“Next time beat the shit out of him though. You have our permission. I don’t care what we have to go through to clear your name. You’re still human at the end of the day, you don’t deserve to be treated like this.” Mark bursted in anger. His duality would scare anyone. He entered calm and composed only to set alight as soon as he spoke. He wasn’t having it.

“Will there even be a n-next time? He was caught on camera. I overheard the d-doctors talking about officers b-beside him throughout his check-up.” Jinyoung spoke. His voice sounded groggy.

“He’ll probably just be charged or some sort of warning. He’ll probably be sacked too, he works with people, I’m sure the centre won’t let him continue.” Jaebeom gathered.

“This guy must be a maniac. He just ruined his life over a female. I know you have an interest in her, but you need to think for yourself before anyone else.” Mark clarified. He didn’t get why someone would resort to violence without trying to sort out the situation like civil people. Similar to Y/N’s thought.

“She must be so conflicted.” Jinyoung struggled to voice his opinion. It hurt for him to speak. He just hoped his vocal cords weren’t damaged, nothing permanent at least. Doc said she’d clarify him of the results to confirm any damage, aware of his profession. Singing is his life; He wasn’t going to lose his pride possession that easily.

“If she comes, can you guys give us some time?” The other two nodded.

“Your life was on the line yet you’re here thinking about her. You’re not just interested bro, you’re whipped.” Jaebeom gave a sneaky smirk trying to lighten the mood up. Jinyoung’s expression changed showing some form of life; He smiled knowing what Jaebeom had said was right.

“What did the doctor say?” Mark was still really concerned.

“V-vocal cords. She’s checking them.”

“Fuck my life. It’s that bad. Should I ring the others to come?”

Jinyoung waved his hands no, “I-I don’t want to handle questions. I-I can barely speak.”

Suddenly the 3 guys turned their heads due to a click near the door. Y/N had built up courage to check Jinyoung’s condition. She had enough of imagining and just wanted to know how bad he was.

Y/N’S POV

You took a deep breath in. You could do this. You would have to see him at one point anyways so just do it now instead of eating away on your own sanity. With that, you got a good grip of the door handle and pushed the door open.

“… I-I can barely speak.” You heard the ending of a sentence by a croaky voice. It started to settle in even more how bad Jinyoung’s condition was.

You could only see the edge of Jinyoung’s bed when you entered but you made instant eye contact with Mark. He gave you a reassuring smile which prompted you to walk in a little further.

“We’ll be outside.” Mark signalled his head towards the door to Jaebeom. Jaebeom got the idea of who had entered the room.

The two walked past you. Jaebeom gave you a brotherly pat on the shoulder as they left. You could do this.

You took small steps to the corner that would reveal Jinyoung fully. You revealed your head around the corner to see Jinyoung laying there but you couldn’t handle the site. You retracted back to hiding. You were going to converse from here if you had to.

“Does it hurt?” You didn’t even know what to say.

“No.” Jinyoung was trying he best not to sound hurt so you didn’t feel any form of guilt.

“Liar.” But you were too smart.

“A little.”

“Hmm… I’ll save you the talk then. I know how much I’ve apologised to you since we’ve met, and you’ve mentioned how you don’t want me to apologise for others’ actions. B-but Jinyoung I’m so sorry.” You crouched down with your back against the wall. Jinyoung could hear your sobbing.

“I’m so so sorry. I’m s-sorry I didn’t tell you I-I wouldn’t be in today. I should have got in contact.” You had lost it again.

Jinyoung couldn’t handle not being able to hug you in his embrace. He didn’t like how hopeless he was in his hospital bed. He wanted to shh you and tell you to not apologise. He wanted to tell you what was on his mind, but his body wouldn’t allow it.

“Y-Y/N.” Jinyoung heard your sobs hold back when you heard your name.

You looked up as he called your name. It reminded you of when he called your name for the first time. You liked the sound of your name when he said it.

“Hmm.” You hummed in response.

“C-come here.”

You were hesitant but it wasn’t the best thing to not listen to Jinyoung right now. You got back onto your feet and peaked at Jinyoung around the corner again. He was directly looking at where you would show up. You weren’t able to make eye contact with him as you walked to the seat Jaebeom had pulled to Jinyoung’s bed. Your eyes were glued to the floor.

“L-look at me Y/N.” You knew the reason why his sentences were more demanding. He could barely speak so he kept it short. You looked up at the one eye that wasn’t covered. He met your watery eyes. He wouldn’t think to see you crying again after the day you stepped between him and Max. He made a promise to himself to make you smile no matter the situation.

“I-I’ll definitely be drowning now, won’t I?” You couldn’t believe he was making a swimming joke at this moment. You let out a chuckle more because you were shocked at this comment.

“Seriously… you’re making a joke at this point of your life.”

“It’s p-perfect timing. I get to see you smile; it suits you... to smile.” His comment towards your smile made you smile even more.

“It suits you too… to smile.” You took a hold of his hand and rubbed your thumb against his knuckles. You let out another chuckle because of the size difference between your hands.

“What?”

“I understand why people say I have small hands.” You lined up your hand and Jinyoung’s hand together and showed him the big difference. He smiled at your innocence and purity.

“You know what they say about big hands.” You mouth fell agape. Was he making dirty jokes in this current situation as well?

“I thought Jaehyun was bad.” He chuckled but it hurt for it to last long. He winced at the pain.

“You good? Should I call a nurse?” Jinyoung waved you no.

“It’s expected. Waiting for results now.” You nodded wishing that the results would be out at this very moment.

“I’ll ask what happened between you two when you’re better. I don’t want to cause even more damage to what has already been done.”

He gave you that gaze again. Taking responsibility for others’ actions. He hated it.

The door opened and the doctor from earlier walked back in.

“Hello Mr Park. Feeling any better?”

“Barely.” You looked back down again, eyes glued on the floor.

“Results are not out yet. I was going to check if you could consume food or if we’ll need to feed you through a syringe. I’ve bought some soup from the cafeteria. Miss can help you to see if you can eat.” You looked up at the tray in the doctor’s hand and took it from her. You gave her a nod.

“I’ll let you know if he’s able to eat the soup. I’ll press the buzzer to have you notified.”

“Great. I wish you a quick recovery Mr Park.”

The doctor left the room. Jinyoung didn’t have a ‘time to drink soup’ face on but you were going to convince him no matter what.

“Don’t even think of not having this soup. I’ll try my best not to mum you, but you heard the doc.”

“Mum me… I-I don’t mind.” You scooped a spoon full of the soup and blew a little on it (not advised during the periods of COVID-19, take care of yourselves).

“Open up. Try your best.” He swallowed the soup and his arm gripped your arm due to the pain. The instant reflex caught you off guard and you felt sorry for the pain he was feeling.

“Doable?”

You looked up at his one eye ready with another scoop. He nodded wanting to try once more. Yet again he winced in pain with the same reflex.

“Syringe?” He nodded again. You pressed the buzzer on the wall and the doctor was back again soon after.

“I don’t think Mr Park will get through a bowl of soup without a lot of pain. I think the syringe will be better.” The doctor took note on Jinyoung’s record and called in a nurse about the syringe hours.

“Thanks doctor.” You liked the kind and keen approach she had towards her job.

“It’s our job Miss.” The doctor then left the room.

You looked back at Jinyoung only to see him staring right through you. He wanted to ask you why you weren’t in and luckily you owed him an explanation.

“I wasn’t in for the lesson because I had a project meeting with the hotel client I mentioned on Friday. Whenever I’m not in lessons, Max covers for me since he’s the only teacher free during that period. I gave Jooheon a ring and he told me not to worry and just concentrate on the meeting. I was going to tell you prior to the lesson but I had so much to do over the weekend for this meeting that it went over my head. I’m so- “

“Don’t.” You stopped in your tracks. Right don’t apologise for everything.

“How d-did it go?”

“It went really well. He mentioned the…” You trailed off having realised that you had completely forgotten about the news that was published across all platforms.

“The news?” So, he was aware?

“To our luck he actually seemed fond of the news. He even bought flowers as a congratulations gift which was a little odd. I did break it to him what the actual truth was, but he was happy regardless. We swiftly moved onto the project and he was really happy with the outcome. The hotel will be built for 2022 and construction starts really soon.”

He felt like a proud mum. He wished he could go on and on about how proud he was of your achievement, but his current state wouldn’t allow him.

“I-I’m sorry for the n-news.” This was different, he was the one apologising this time.

“I would say that it’s fine, but I have to be honest it’s not. My phone has been going off since the meeting from random numbers and my company entrance was filled with paparazzi right before the meeting. I haven’t got back to my friends or family because god knows where to start.”

“My manager will h-handle it. Y-you shouldn’t have to go through this c-crap.” You guessed that the news will be taken down or some sort of announcement will be made by his side to clear it up.

“That’s good to know. I’m going to give the meeting holders a quick ring, I left abruptly after hearing Jooheon over the phone. Give me a second.”

You got off from the chair and gave Beck a ring whilst gazing out the window. This was so hectic.

“Hey Y/N, is everything okay?” Beck sounded so worried on the other end of the line.

“Hi Beck, you’re going to have to go alone with Mr Chan. I won’t be able to make it. Let him know that I’ll make it up to him but I’m at an emergency situation right now. I’ll talk to you later too. I owe you one.”

“Understood. Don’t drain yourself out with whatever it is. Me and Mr Chan will be fine. We seem to have caught him on a happy day anyways, don’t worry.” You knew you could always count on Beck.

“That’s great. Make sure to forward him my apologies. Have fun.” You hung up the phone and returned back to Jinyoung’s side.

“You should g-go.” Jinyoung spoke up.

“You want me to go to a meal knowing that you’re being fed through a needle looking out the window with only one eye. I don’t think so Jinyoung.” It was unfortunately the bitter truth. He read your face well and you weren’t up for listening to him right now.

For the rest of that day you were with Jinyoung. Every time the nurses would come to change his bandaging you’d have to step out. You couldn’t bear to look at what Max had done to Jinyoung. You’d always ask the nurses as they left if there were any signs of healing, but they’d just say it’s too early to tell. Later on, in the evening the rest of the guys came by and stayed with Jinyoung. You would also leave then, to give them time to have their talks.

Monday Evening

“Y/N, I’m sure Jinyoung wouldn’t like to see you slaving away in the corridors of a hospital. Why don’t you head home and rest up? You can come back in the morning to check up on him.” Mark stepped out of the room and started to get worried at how long you hadn’t eaten and gotten some rest.

“Mark, I’m really not in the mood. I’ll just end up procrastinating at home and get even more worried. Sleep definitely won’t be visiting me tonight if anyhwere but at this hospital.” Mark shook his head, understanding where you were coming from.

“I’m going to stay over the night. You guys can all go. He’s in good hands. Here’s my number. You can contact me if anything’s up and I’ll make sure to pick up.” You handed over your business card which had your contact details on it to Mark.

“We’ll be leaving in 5. Make sure to get some rest too. I don’t want another casualty in our hands.” He smiled trying to make you feel better.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of both of us.”

Like Mark had said, 5 minutes later the boys departed from the hospital informing you to get in contact with them if anything in the slightest happens. You said your goodbyes and they were off. You returned back into Jinyoung’s room to see his eyes shut.

Hes had a rough day. A really rough day. It’s weird how both of your days started of normal only to stoop to a miserable level. It’s expected for him to be tired. Now was the time for him to get some rest in order to recover. You just hoped that no permanent damage was done, or you won’t be able to forgive yourself until the day you die. You were willing to be by his side until he was fully recovered. Stay beside him and even have him in your own home so you can nurse him easily. You could hear his light snoozing as he drifted into a deeper sleep.

The nurse came in to check everything for the evening. She noticed the patient asleep so toned down her voice.

“Miss, would you like us bring in a portable guest bed?”

“If it won’t cause much hassle and noise, then that would be great. Thank you.” The nurse smiled and left the room to bring you your bed.

…

Your bed arrived with its sheets and a plump pillow on top. The hospital even had some pyjamas laid out on the bed for you to change into. You used the on suite bathroom to change into the pjs. You had taken off your makeup with the cleansing wipes you always carried with you and sat on the bed.

You couldn’t take your eyes off Jinyoung. The poor man went through such a traumatic day with you being the cause of it all. You slowly got off the bed avoiding any creaky noises from the springs and kneeled down, so you were level with Jinyoung’s face. You brushed the strands of hair that were covering his face to aside. He looked effortless even in this state. Not many could achieve. You lighted stroked his cheek feeling his warm skin which had gained more colour compared to what it looked like at first. His calm sleep self gave you so much to look at. His perfect proportions, short but cute eyelashes, noticeably larger but cute ears and his lips. Oh, how much you wanted them to make contact with yours again, just like they did in the sand that day. You were sure he felt the same, there was no denying.

JINYOUNG’S POV

You were sure she thought you were sleep. Her presence was near enough for you to guess the difference between you two. 10cms apart from someone you gave so much care about. 10cms away from someone you were sure you could say, you loved. No matter how early it may be, you knew from the start that she was the one. You were just too hesitant on things moving quickly. This injury being one factor that’ll definitely be slowing down anything from progressing quickly, deterred you from that happening.

You really wanted to open your eyes. To look into the deep world that her eyes held and be her guardian angel. To tell her how much she’s been on your mind since the first encounter. Whilst you were running through the things you wanted to say to Y/N, you felt a gentle peck against your cheek and a whisper.

“What have you done to me silent parrot? Goodnight.”

Silent parrot? You guess that’s something you’ll need to question Y/N on once you’re more able to talk. With that, you sensed Y/N snuggle into her bed and you decided to do the same. Lots of sleep is going to be needed in order to recover from all the injuries.

Tuesday Morning

You were an early bird. Having the nurses change your syringe and bandaging every so often didn’t exactly help with a consistent sleep. Every night visit by the nurses you’d make sure to ask them to be really silent, so Y/N didn’t wake up.

The clock across you struck 7 am but you didn’t care what the time was because you had a little lamb beside you still fast asleep. She looked so cute. You noticed how true she was about her hands too. They looked tiny as they laid on the pillow next to her face. She was snuggled, hugging her duvet like it was a snuggly toy.

The sun started to peak through the blinds and hit Y/N directly in the face. She should wake up soon, you thought.

Y/N’S POV

You woke up to a small heat against your face and a lightened environment. It was now morning. You rubbed your eyes and slowly opened them. You checked over at the side table and grabbed your glasses to clearly see Jinyoung. He was wide awake.

“G-good morning.” There was a little more life in his voice but still groggy.

“Good morning, did you get some sleep? How do you feel?” You sat up with your legs crossed under the duvet.

“In small dosages, yes. I-I feel a b-bit more rested.” You shot him a smile and got up from your bed due to a knock at the door. Considering it wasn’t a doctor since they didn’t just come in you guessed it was a visitor of some sorts.

“I’ll get it.” You told Jinyoung and opened the door. Jinyoung was able to hear who you were talking to.

“Oh. Hi Mona, I’m guessing Beck sent you with all the things I asked for.”

“Yes Miss. I have your workwear in here and a light breakfast too. I’ve parked your car downstairs so you can get to work with no hassle. If that’s all, I’ll be off.”

You ruffled her hair for being so formal even though you knew each other for the past 4 years, “Stop being so formal. I know you’re my assistant and all but you’re also my friend. If there isn’t much work for you today why don’t you hang around and we can go to work together?”

“I’d love to Miss- “

You chuckled, “Stop with the Miss.”

“Fine. Mr Longing had some tasks planned for me to do when I got back and apparently they are urgent, so I’ll have to decline Y/N. Maybe another time.”

“Bummer. Alright, thank you for helping out. We can have a meal another time. I should be at the company before midday.”

“See you Y/N.” You waved Mona goodbye and headed back into the room. Jinyoung almost had a sulking face on and you never knew you needed to see him pouting in your entire life.

“Are you sulking… by any chance?” You stood at the end of Jinyoung’s bed and looked at his facial expression.

“No.” As he declined your outrageous question, he crossed his arms and looked away from you. You were dealing with grown baby.

“Could it possibly be because I need to head to work?”

“Hmph.” He kept his arms crossed. You didn’t know you’d see him in this way in your life.

If he was playing baby, let’s see what he felt when you told him, “I never really liked guys who sulked.” You weren’t being serious, but you just really wanted to get a reaction out of him.

He uncrossed his arms immediately, “I wasn’t sulking. I was just…”.

“Just?” You got him on edge, and it was funny to see you mostly in control of a situation this time round. He’d usually be the one with the upper hand but not this time. Still no answer.

“Cat caught your tongue Park?” You were having way too much fun.

“Damn. You really don’t like guys who sulk?” You couldn’t hold in the truth any longer.

“I don’t mind Jinyoung. I’m just playing with you.” You chuckled at his defeat.

“Phew. Back to what I was doing,” He crossed his arms again and faced away from you, “Don’t go.”

You couldn’t believe your eyes. He just switched back into a baby in milliseconds.

“No wonder why you’re an actor. Acting… shit. What’s going to happen with the drama?” It sunk to you how many things this situation has affected.

“P-postponed.” You felt shit again. He stopped with the sulking at this point and realised your drop in energy.

“Don’t worry about it Y/N. Things will be b-back to normal soon-“

Before Jinyoung could finish his words, his doctor rushed into the room. She seemed like she was out of breath. You looked at Jinyoung and you both eyed the doctor waiting for her to explain her rush.

“Sorry for…the sudden entrance. The… results-“ She was really longing out the news. Was it bad? Was it good? You couldn’t handle her short pauses.

“Can you just say it?”

“Yes… Miss. There’s good and bad news.” You looked at Jinyoung and his face was definitely different to how he was a minute ago. No longer a child but an adult.

“D-doc. Bad n-news first.”

“Mr Park… your vocal cords…” The doctor was also aware of how much Jinyoung’s vocal cords meant.

“Say it, Doc.” Jinyoung couldn’t take it anymore either.

“You won’t be able to sing...”

---

I can already hear all of you hating me for this ending too. I feel so evil. I was planning on continuing but I wanted to be a tease again. You’ll have to be back for the next episode to find out the good news. I wanted to say whilst writing this episode half of the time I was in delulu land. I felt sad having Jinyoung in such a vulnerable situation and thought what it would be like looking after him. I have left that land though, much healthier not thinking delulu.

I hope you guys enjoyed!

writer-nim x

[fortune-fool02]

I’ll Make a Man Out of You

Jean Pierre Polnareff x female reader

Requested by: anonymous

Song: I’ll make a man out of you from Mulan 

I love this song, thank you for the request. Please enjoy. It’s kinda long as I got carried away with it.

Let's get down to business, to defeat the Huns Did they send me daughters, when I asked for sons? You're the saddest bunch I ever met But you can bet before we're through Mister, I'll make a man out of you

During his travels around the world, Avdol has encountered many strange and powerful Stand Users; Iggy was a perfect example of this. Though, when discovering that their true opponent was the vampirc male who has caused much suffering to Holly, he knew they were going to need someone else’s help. 

It had taken the Speedwagon Foundation a total of ten days before they could find the person Avdol had told them about, even with the information the Fortune-teller had given them. But, when they did eventually find her, it  had taken quite some convincing to get them to actually go with them. Avdol had given them a letter to give them and that was all it took for the person to go with them.

The helicopter landed in front of the crusaders, a smile lifting Avdol’s lips at the helicopter, knowing exactly who was inside. Polnareff stood beside him, throwing him a look. 

“This isn’t going to be another dog is it?” he asked and Avdol shook his head. The Frenchman sighed in relief, the last thing he wanted was to deal with another dog like Iggy. The mutt seemed to love to ruin his hair more than anyone else’s. The door opened to reveal an empty seat. Confusion swirled around the group -excluding Avdol- and Polnareff approached the helicopter, peering inside to find no one. 

“Is this a joke or somethi-” The Frenchman was cut off by a sudden force slamming into his side, sending him flying towards the group. He sat up, groaning a little, only to see a figure dart towards him like a bullet, he couldn’t get a single look at the figure with their speed. 

“Chario-!” Again, he was cut off by another force slamming onto his chest, pinning him to the ground and holding him there. Opening his eyes, he saw a [Hair colour] female crouching over him, her hand on his chest to hold him down. Cold, [Eye colour] orbs glaring into his with the intensity of a predator pinning its prey down, ready to slaughter them. 

“You’re dead.” She stated before standing up and dusting herself off. Polnareff sat up again, ignoring the objection in his chest and spine, 

“What the hell was that?” he shouted, the woman turned to him. 

“That was how easy it was for me to have killed you if I wished to.” she answered it like a simply fact. All eyes shifted to Avdol, waiting for an explanation from the man. Avdol chuckled lightly, motioning to the [Hair colour] female. 

“This is [Name]. She will be assisting us for our battle against Dio.” he said, “She is the advantage we need against him.” Kakyoin titled his head a little, giving her a quick look before turning to Avdol. 

“How come?” Avdol looked at [Name], asking a silent question ad she shrugged her shoulders a little. 

“Because [Name], here, used to be one of Dio’s servants.”

Tranquil as a forest but on fire within. Once you find your centre, you are sure to win. You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot. And you haven't got a clue. Somehow I'll make a man out of you.

As it turns out, the advantage [Name] offered was not quite what they were all expecting. By “help” the crusaders believed that she would offer information of how to defeat Dio; that was not what she offered. Instead, she would battle against them and criticise their strategies on the smallest of things they did wrong. This woman, even when they worked together against her, was still the only one standing despite what they did. 

Polnareff groaned loudly as he foot landed on his chest again, a disappointed sigh leaving her lips. Odd as it was, that seemed to hurt more than he strikes -and they did hurt. She was merciless, ruthless and unforgiving, just as their enemy would be. 

“If I go easy on you then that’s setting you up for failure. Do you think Dio would go easy on you because you asked?” was what she would say when asked. And Polnareff knew she had a point. The flames of vengeance for his sister thrived inside of him, fuelled by her disappointing looks, he would prove her wrong. He would beat her fair and square. 

And so, he asked [Name] to train him personally. She accepted.

I'm never gonna catch my breath. Say goodbye to those who knew me. Boy, was I a fool in school for cutting gym. This guy's got 'em scared to death. Hope he doesn't see right through me. Now I really wish that I knew how to swim. 

Each session ended the same: Polnareff on his back, groaning in pain as she stood over him, repeating the same words each time, “You’re dead. Try again.”. Each time, he got back up, he could barely land a strike on her despite all the things she has told him. Any confidence he had of exacting his revenge for his sister, and earning [Name]’s approval, was broken down with these sessions. 

One day, he didn’t turn up for the training, thus making [Name] search for him. She found him laying in his bed, bandaged up and staring at the ceiling with a blank look. 

“What are you doing?” she asked him, expression and voice blanker than an empty canvas. He didn’t look at her, 

“Giving up.” he answered, “I can’t defeat you, therefore, what chance do I stand against Dio or his other servants?” She may not have shown it but [Name] was shocked by this. Polnareff was a determined soul, she could see that in his actions and his eyes when they trained, he refused to stay down unless she forced him. At any given chance, he was back on his feet and trying to land a strike. To find him like this, it surprised her to say the least. 

Sitting beside him on the bed, she turned her gaze to him. “Polnareff, giving up now is accepting defeat.” she said, recalling something that she had been told long ago. “If you give up now then you never wanted to avenge your sister as much as you claim to.” That earned a reaction from the Frenchman, a nerve struck. 

“Don’t you dare question my determination for my sister.” he growled, the flames of determination flickering again. [Name] blinked at him, unfazed by these flames. 

“There it is. Your fatal flaw.” Polnareff blinked at her, “Everyone has a fatal flaw, that one thing that blinds you and will lead to your downfall. And your’s is your need to avenge your sister.” [Name] explained. Polnareff tilted his head a little, intrigued to hear her explain this to him. “However, Polnareff, you can use your fatal flaw and turn it into your weapon. That determination is admirable but you have to learn how to control it before it controls you.” 

Be a man. We must be swift as the coursing river. Be a man. With all the force of a great typhoon. Be a man. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.  

Polnareff took [Name]’s words to heart and that was evident with their next session. As they fought, he allowed himself to relax, his mental state calming as he avoided her strikes. He understood her lesson: Do not let your emotions become your enemies, control them and focus. The weight of Sherry’s death crushed his like a boulder, weighing him down and straining him; he needed to accept what happened and not fester in the wounds. 

And it was this acceptance that allowed the boulder to shatter, letting him free himself from his little prison. His hand struck out, Silver Chariot darting forward and lashing at [Name] with incredible speed with equal strength behind it, sending the [Hair colour] female flying back. He had done it. He had landed a hit on her. 

When she sat upright, he saw her [Eye colour] orbs lock on him, a soft light flickering across them. The first glimpses of emotion he has seen on her since he first met her weeks ago. Her lips shifted, lifting up into a sad yet happy smile, a relieved kind of smile.

He had done it. He had defeated her. [Name] rose up and approached him, that smile never faltering, as she stood in front of him. Her hand resting on his shoulder,

“My job here is done.” In the space of a handful of weeks, she has seen Polnareff grow in a way that not many people did. Maybe he did stand a chance against Dio after all, she could only hope so. 

Be a man. We must be swift as the coursing river. Be a man. With all the force of a great typhoon. Be a man. With all the strength of a raging fire. Mysterious as the dark side of the moon.  

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

Title: Gifted (Sequel to Giftless)

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 19/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

You woke up to find that Loki wasn’t in the bed. The sun was up, so you knew that he wasn’t just on a midnight stroll somewhere. Had something happened? These were supposedly dangerous times on Asgard.  

You had just reached for your dagger sheath when he came back in the room. “Good, you’re awake!” he greeted you with a child-like grin. He was carrying some kind of tray with him. You sat up against the pillows to see what he was up to, confused as you tried to get your mind off potential danger. He set the tray on the bed in front of you. There was a plate on it with a huge stack of pancakes, a single rose in an adorable vase, a breakfast juice, and silver wear.

“You brought me breakfast in bed,” you grinned up at him. That was adorable. Thor had warned you that Loki would do some ‘romantic nonsense’ this morning. You should’ve believed him.

“I did,” he agreed, sitting on the other side of the breakfast tray from you, looking adorably apprehensive.

“Did you already eat?” you asked, offering him a fork.

“I have not,” he hesitated, but took the fork from you. You sighed and dug into the pancakes. He wouldn’t start eating them until you had.  Overprotective trickster

“These are delicious,” you told him after the first bite. 

He grinned a Cheshire cat grin at you, clearly pleased with himself. “I am glad my lady approves,” he replied.

“You made them?” you asked, surprised.  Loki didn’t cook.

He nodded and his grin only grew.  “I spent an entire year making Thor eat pancakes until I got them right. They are not exactly a common food here,” he explained, grinning at the memory of forcing Thor to eat his cooking.

“Poor Thor. How many times did you poison him?” you asked and stuck your tongue out at Loki, letting him know you were only teasing, though the question was legitimate. 

Loki laughed.  At least he was amused.  “Only twice. Moron still kept trying them after that, for some reason,” Loki was still laughing.  You weren’t surprised that Thor kept trying the pancakes.  He’d do anything to make his brother happy. You devoured your pancakes in peace. “I have a fun morning planned for us, though we both have work to do this afternoon,” Loki told you once the pancakes were gone.

“What work do we have to do?” you asked. You weren’t expecting any work. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “That is for later, dove. Fun now,” he replied and you couldn’t help laughing at him. He used magic to vanish the breakfast things, though the rose reappeared on your beside table. You both climbed out of bed and he summoned clothes for you both. 

You found yourself dressed in riding leathers. “We’re going riding?” you asked stupidly, though it was obvious.

“To get where we’re going today,” he replied. He wasn’t giving anything more away than what he had to. Annoying trickster boyfriend.  You made your way down to the stables where his stallion was already saddled. The sweet little mare you had ridden last time you were here was saddled too. You went to her and petted her nose in greeting, cooing at her. She was so sweet and gentle. Loki gave you a leg up into the saddle, which you appreciated. You hadn’t been riding in awhile and had only gone a couple times the last time you were here.

You rode for a long while, chatting while the horses strolled along. It was fun, but you were also impatient to find out what your actual activity for the day was. 

You ended up at a pond, or small lake maybe. You didn’t know enough to make the distinction. It was gorgeous either way. You dismounted and Loki picketed the horses nearby. “This place is gorgeous!” you told him as you walked to a spot where Loki had a picnic blanket set out near the shore.

“Not nearly as gorgeous as you,” Loki replied as he bent down to kiss you. You stood up on your toes to meet him halfway. “The picnic is not the only surprise about this place,” he told you with his mischievous smile. He stepped back and stripped off his shirt.

You took a moment to appreciate the view.

It was quite the nice view of perfect abs.

“You’re not going in there?” you pointed at the lake. “It’s still spring,” you reminded him. He’d freeze in that water. He laughed.

“We are going in there,” he replied with a grin.

“No way!” you shrieked and giggled when he swept you up into his arms before you could run for safety. “Loki! We’ll freeze!” you repeated. “If you ever want kisses again, you better not throw me in there,” you warned when he got too close to the edge of the water. He laughed and walked calmly into the water. You blushed when you realized he had vanished his pants. At least he was wearing either swim trunks or underpants. It was hard to tell from the angle of being in his arms. He used more magic and you were in a swimsuit. “Seriously, Loki? We’re going to freeze. Or at least I am. Just because you’re a frost giant doesn’t mean all of us can survive the cold,”

You flinched when the water touched you, expecting it to be ice cold. But it wasn’t. It wasn’t as hot as a hot spring, but it was plenty warm enough to swim in. You laughed in delight and Loki chuckled. “Do you know how to swim?” he asked. You nodded and he set you down in the water. You grinned at him and splashed him in the face with water before diving under. You heard him laugh before he came to try to find you.

You played in the water for a long time, having a splash war and generally being small children. There was a floating barge-like structure in the middle of the pond that you took turns diving and jumping off of. You were both tired and laughing when you made your way back to the shore. After a quick use of magic on Loki’s part, you were back in real clothes and dry and curled up on the picnic blanket to have lunch.

You unfortunately had to go back to the palace after that. You both apparently had work to do. “Now, will you tell me what work we have to do?” you demanded when you had nearly reached the palace. You really wanted to know what you were going to be up to that afternoon. You wanted some warning and Loki wasn’t giving you anything.

“No,” he replied pleasantly. Too pleasantly.

“You’ve been hanging out with Thor too long,” you grumbled at him, which just made him laugh.

The servants took your horses and Loki used more magic for yet another fashion change as he led you to a small practice court in the palace grounds. You were both in what you assumed were Asgardian workout clothes. “This is your job for the next couple hours,” he told you and gestured to the female warriors who were stretching nearby. “I have to practice too, so don’t grumble at me,” he added. 

You sighed heavily. “Fine, I haven’t been able to practice properly for the last year anyway.” You’d still managed to practice, but no one else had the same skill with daggers as Loki did, so you hadn’t been able to learn anything new. You made your way shyly over to the group of women. Their leader saw your approach, and you watched her assess you. You tried to stand tall and proud like a princess was supposed to be, but you knew you were failing. You were shy and not a trained warrior like they were.

“Welcome, Princess. We are glad you have chosen to train with us,” the leader bid you. 

You felt yourself relax as you thanked her. “I pray you do not mind the intrusion. I am only a beginner,” you reminded them in careful Asgardian. Your abilities were nothing to brag about, especially in front of them. 

One of them scoffed. “You’ve had Loki training you for over a year. I think that hardly qualifies as a beginner, dear princess.”  You laughed at that, glad the formality portion of this exercise seemed to be at an end. You got started on dagger work and you realized that you weren’t as out of practice as you thought. You really hadn’t been out of practice, just hadn’t been learning anything new. They taught you a few new tricks and you did fairly decently during the sparring exercises as well.

After that, you had healing lessons with Frigga in the healing wing. You couldn’t actually aid her without your own powers, but she did teach you some of the finer points of determining how much magic needed to go into various types of injuries. She was smiling fondly the entire time, and you could tell she was remembering teaching Loki about healing many years ago.

You and Loki promised Thor you’d stay in your suite that night. You were both exhausted from your big day and needed the sleep. Thor looked relieved that he might actually have a nice quiet evening and be allowed to sleep through it. “A whole night where I do not have to deal with your mischief, Brother? Whatever shall I do with myself?” he laughed. You laughed at him and his misfortune.

You and Loki were still laughing and joking about leaving the suite just to annoy Thor when you curled up in bed that night. You felt his magic when he kissed you goodnight. “You know I dislike that spell,” you mumbled to him as you were already falling asleep. You had been expecting it, though, so you weren’t surprised that he was spelling you to sleep. 

“I know, darling, but I don’t want to risk Balder attacking you again, especially not so soon. I love you,” he whispered the last words as you fell into a dreamless sleep.

[chimcharstar]

1-50 ho

you got it ho

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

I AM SO GLAD YOU ASKED. ive been Purchasing various smelly candles for my gay divination activities, and i have a few nominees. i first thought of the candle i have now, a pink one with a very sweet vanilla smell, i love very sweet smells because it makes me think of candy which i tend to try to fill my inner void with. however im going to go with the first candle i bought, a dark orange one with a citrus smell. citrus scents are my next favourite and specifically this one reminded me of curiously smelling candles at my piano teachers apartment when i was very young. 

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

idk. ive been listening to her lion king stuff lately. dont judge me i needed to hear remixes of lion king music i was lost in that sauce in high school. and i just think shes neat. i dont think she would aggressively make me feel bad about everything, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Look……. i really don’t know???? what is the criteria?? do they need to be like my siblings? dare i criticize my arguably criticizable siblings by picking out my ideal siblings? if i pick an ideal sibling, what does that say about what im lacking in my life? do i pick celebrities i hate so theoretically my family shames them into becoming silent and self-defeating

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

50. i think im going to have to figure myself out for a long time, and achieve some personal goals first. thats my excessively confident prediction and PERHAPS educated guess

5. Do you know a hoarder?

nnnnnoooooooo????? not a real, cant function because of hoarding hoarder. i can see in a few family members, including myself, liking to hang onto things that maybe become sentimental/unnecessary clutter but that sounds like something many non-hoarders experience?

6. Can you do a split?

lemme try one sec

NO

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Idk maybe 7? Or 11? i think my parents taught me at a children age and then i started biking for fun like, later, like pre middle school?

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

1. i dont really remember swimming in an ocean but i may have faded childhood memories of salty water and seaweed

9. How many countries have you been to?

2… i went to idaho for a band trip… my dad really doesnt like travelling

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

HAHAHA

NO. ACTUALLY YES. but its funny because the specific brand of christianity we are supposed to be is super pacifist so ive heard. but then i remembered one dude apparently who joined the us military?????? it seemed like it was… an unusual choice. i dont really know anything else about this guy, not even his name

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

🙏 *inhale* buddy. oooooohhffffff i want to say something gender neutral honestly. i dont want to rock the boat being unconventional or something but im just thinking of all those years trying to live up to a feminine name

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

same i guess… why have i never thought about this????? was i preoccupied naming myself.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

hmmmmm hmmmmm trying to unlock the vault. i think i remember a 1 or a 0 on a math quiz. i think i got 30% or something very very bad (i dont even want to know) on my last english exam, but to be fair, i was having such a bad mental breakdown my professor did an intervention

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

like a very very small child? i was obsessed with the save-ums (?!?!?) for some reason. i would sing the anthem… no. theme song? i dont know. i guess it was catchy and there were lots of fun characters. OHHHH I SEE WHATS WRONG

ITS BECAUSE WE ONLY HAD A TV TILL I WAS LIKE 5 OR SOMETHING. what are you cultured people watching as children? what are the shows? 

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

>:(

My Halloween experience:

i dont even remember i probably had some kind of fairy wings? i think i remember fairy wings. we went to one (1) house. later on, since we werent allowed to go trick-or-treating, we were each allotted a certain amount of candy, and if we ate more than a designated amount per day, we were in trouble and wouldnt be allowed anymore. i do remember getting in trouble for this. i think i stole someones candy. sibling against sibling. finally we were allowed to go trick or treating, i went with my younger brothers and by then, was a teenager and felt too tall and really uncomfortable

LMAO I JUST REMEMBERED THAT LAST TIME WE WENT TRICK-OR-TREATING NOT IN A RURAL AREA, my dad drove us around in a van and watched us like a hawk i believe. it was very tense and methodical.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

i read the harry potter series (I WROTE SIBLIGS LOL) more times than i could count while growing up. i read the first hunger games book and didnt fancy it for whatever reason, and i had an obnoxious twilight-hating phase.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

no

sometimes, though, im really genuinely worried about what accent i do have. im worried i read so much harry potter growing up, it rubbed off on me. when i was a server, people would ask about an unusual accent i apparently had, and once, when i was talking to a super british guy who called me luv at walmart, he was like STOP. WAIT. YOU HAVE A BRITISH ACCENT. and i was like WHAT UHHH BYEBYE AND HE WAS LIKE NO. I HEARD YOU. STOP and i was like that michael jackson meme where he covers his face running away and everyone else in the line was staring

18. Did your mother go to college?

i believe she went to a bible college where people put a grand piano on top of the roof. 

19. Are your grandparents still married?

all of my grandparents are dead.

…. hmmMMMM yow. ok. my grandparents who werent estranged stayed married for as long as either of them were living… however, my OTHER grandparents, i mean the fucking kidnappers, my abuser grandpa… remarried? when he was… really really aging. im judging him for it because i know what kind of person he was.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

I WISH. my parents didnt seem to like that sort of thing (surprise). im interested in it now but… as usual… i feel like its too late, im too old.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

….. i… i thought i did… hes blessed… thats all.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

ಠ_ಠ 

*crickets*

how could you ask me this?

no wait! i went to the waterslides. then, later on, i was never allowed to go to the waterslides.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Spanish. ive been “intending” to learn for a long time, and a lot of people who have been really good influences on me and been genuinely kind to me speak it, id like to learn it

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

grey

one sec

yup thats canadian!

25. Is your father bald?

on the top of his head, yes >:(

26. Do you know triplets?

no?

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

no? what is this straight stuff? i listened to the dramatic titanic song and felt nothing.

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

i guess so, at a friends house! i dont think otherwise ive gone to a restaurant and actually had indian food

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

*gazes tearily at my OWN FUCKING OLD WORKPLACE

the food was sO GOOD MAN. IT WAS SO GOOD. im just not saying because despite how stalkable i probably am already, i dont want to be specific

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

no whats that

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

w

belong? whats bjs? whats a warehouse for?

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

i decided at one point they would never tell me this and it was no use asking. i do know they almost named my brother a very fusty old fashioned name fitting in with the thomas the tank engine theme 

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

G is the ONLY one i will accept so far.

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

:)

i……… hmmmm…. i really dont like picking favourites. each person in my life has a unique relationship with me (even though a lot of them arent very warm, trusting or close). because of unhealthy middle school friendships ive grown an aversion to ranking relationships as if they have material value.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

rural, i think. i need nature in my life!!! but i also need to be able to have connections to people.

36. Can you whistle?

yes, but not very loudly or accurately

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

no, but ive always wanted a nightlight

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

ive started to, yeah! this morning i made a whole thing with bread and mushrooms and eggs, and coffee, and i ate it outside watching the traffic. im really trying to treat myself nicely you see. its what id do for someone else.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

THAT

BOY

JUICE!

WELCOME TO MY BUILD A BOY WORKSHOP!

SHOTS!SHOTS!SHOTS!

and im really fortunate to be in pretty good health, and have access to things i do need

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I dont think… i actually have any. id say gender dysphoria but i think it was informed consent. (im VERY lucky)

im pretty sure there are SOME mental conditions running around undiagnosed. MY BRAIN IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

for myself? once… when i got hives and started swelling up all over, but otherwise was fine. i really wonder what that was. other times was visiting sick/dying relatives which has made me feel sad and apprehensive whenever i enter a hospital or smell the food

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

yes! i had a gerbil named nemo! 

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

D:

i dont … remember … really nowhere special i actually have yet to find some jeans i LOVE. sometimes there is a pair of jeans that sparks joy. i do not have such a pair

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

my sister said my pants looked good on me. they are actually their pants, which they left on the floor in my room for an unknown reason, and they want them back. of course.

but because im excited about it and want to brag, the real compliment was when i made borscht and my sister not only ate it faster than me, but wanted a second helping. and my roommate stuck his face in the steam and said it smelled good. hell yes. i put fucking cilantro in it. fcking beast mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

yes. theyre usually really emotional and symbolic. if ive been talking to my parents, theyre usually nightmares. ive been reading about dream interpretation for a long time to deal with some of the ominous images that can come up

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

red rose reminds me of wheni was little my mom would make really sweet sweet red rose tea for me (thats the kind she drinks all the time) and it brings me those good feelings. otherwise licorice spice really appeald to me for some reason.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

LMAO UHHH…brb

six. because of social pressure.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

i never thought about this kind of thing…. i really don’t know….. id just want them to know how to be kind to others and themselves and thats literally it. 

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

i was one of those edgy kids trying to spoil it for everyone. guess what other common fun thing my parents didnt do

50. Why do you have a youtube? 

i dont! so i dont know what this question means! :)

HOLY SHIT I MADE IT THRU HIGH FIVE 

[shewhowantsmouseears]

The Little Peach, Chapter 7

Notes: As always, big thanks to my amazing editor, Drucilla!

Used an old storybit here, tweaked it up. Also put in a pairing I technically haven't written for before, but I plan to enjoy it to the fullest.

Summary: Mickey finally reaches the capital, but he finds more surprises waiting for him and his friends than he ever expected.

It took several long days and nights to reach the capital, with Mickey learning all he could from Panchito during every waking hour. While Panchito was very enthusiastic about having a student, the lessons were limited – without an opponent Mickey's size, they couldn't truly measure Mickey's abilities. Yet neither of them said this out loud (and Maurice smacked Marsupilami every time he tried to bring it up) and the training was met with vigorous determination. At the very least he could feel his stamina building and some small muscles beginning to grow – it felt amazing to get real exercise after years of being cooped up in his house and treated like he couldn't do a thing.

Even as they reached the large, red, imposing gates of the capitol, Mickey was still training, doing stretching exercises as he stood on Panchito's saddle. Numerous soldiers and guards were at the gate, and only when they inspected each person's head to make sure there were no Oni horns did they allow the group to pass – and that was only after Panchito gave them an inspection for any green feathers, which would have annoyed the guards if Mickey's incredibly small size hadn't thrown them for several loops.

“Boy oh boy!” Mickey said once they made it past the gate. “Would you look at all the people?” Even though he'd been secluded for most of his life and expected the capital to be a shock to his senses, the sheer number of people going to and fro among all the hefty buildings was still a real surprise. It was jam-packed, and some had make an effort to squeeze around a corner – though a few stopped in place, doing various double-takes when they thought they saw a peach pit-sized person on a passing horse.

“Seems like everyone's coming to the capital for protection,” Marsupilami mused, cupping his chin with his tail, “since it's one of the few places the Oni have been driven back. If it keeps up, the entire capital will be full of everyone from Japan. That means less food and roofs for everyone here, and it'll drive the people nuts. Stuff enough rats in a tiny cage, and they'll eat each other alive. The Oni still win.”

“Must you be so morbid, my friend?” Panchito tilted his hat up to get a better view of their surroundings. “One day, the Oni King will be defeated, and we can all rest easy again. Until then, we must keep sight of our current goals! Young Mickey will get the Lucky Hammer, and I will meet the man who saved me, and I will say to him...”

“Sir, I am Panchito Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González the Third.” Mickey automatically cut him off. “I have come to you to learn your ways and repay my debt.”

“If it takes me the rest of my life, I will obey your every command, and make sure your fight was not in vain. Do me the honor of becoming my sensei.” Marsupilami finished, with he, Maurice, Mickey and Pluto all mimicking the wide and expressive gestures Panchito was prone to making.

Panchito blinked slowly. “Have I mentioned this before?”

“Only about fifty times every day since we met, but who's counting?”  Marsupilami replied sarcastically, having been convinced from day one that Panchito was more trouble than he was worth as a teacher. “I couldn't care less about that green hero of yours, but we need to think about how Mickey's going to get that hammer in the first place.”

Mickey climbed up the horse's hair to sit on its head and look at the tall, imposing tower where the Princess lived. The tower was surrounded by a thick, wooden gate at all sides, with several trees growing along outside. Some of the trees on the outside were so tall that they leaned over the gate, providing shade to the inside. At the front of the gate were two guards – one tall and lanky, the other pudgy and snapping to his comrade about whose shift was next. “Why can't I just go on over and ask them to let me in? Look at me, I'm in a very unique position.”

“No, no, no!” Panchito shook his head hard, pulling the reins to a stop. “We cannot do such a thing!”

“Why?” Marsupilami deadpanned again, sensing a disaster oncoming. “Because it's simple, and you want to do something needlessly complicated?”

Panchito ignored him as usual as he began to climb down. “If you want the Princess to truly understand your plight, you must make a good first impression! Show her how determined and brave you are, that you will let nothing stand in your way! Once she sees how courageous and resilient you are, she'll understand right away you must be given the right size! Do something that no one else can do!”

Mickey liked the sound of it – if the Princess' heart was truly as stony and steely as he'd been told, he'd have to think outside the box to win her compassion. What could he do that no one else could? He looked at the tower, at the gates, at the trees – and he snapped his fingers. “I've got it! With my size, climbing into the palace gardens will be a snap! From there, I can get into the tower with ease! She'll see how serious I am, and only I can do it! Any other person would be caught with just one look!”

“You want to impress her by breaking into her house?”  Marsupilami felt as if he was the only person around with a functioning brain.

This feeling was amplified when Panchito laughed merrily, hands on his hips. “Marvelous, yes, marvelous! And we'll help you do it! We'll distract the guards!”

“The heck we will!”

Panchito pulled his horse over to the clearest tree, with Marsupilami ranting and raving about a plan he refused to be a part in yet knowing he'd be dragged into, and Maurice and Pluto happily waved their friend a temporary goodbye. “You guys sure you'll be all right?” Mickey probably should have asked that before he started climbing the massive tree, but thinking ahead wasn't one of his strong points. He'd only made it up a few inches, and it was going to take some time before he made it all the way up and over the castle walls. Even if he wasn't the size of a peach pit, this would be a long, daunting task. But distracting guards could also be daunting, and there wasn't a hint of hesitation on any of his companion's faces – save for Marsupilami.

“Just leave it to us!” Panchito saluted, with Pluto and Maurice copying the motion. “We'll take all the time you need in order to convince the princess to give you the Lucky Hammer! Even if it takes all day and night!”

“Or at least until dinner,” Marsupilami added, his reluctant salute having a smidgen less enthusiasm to it.

“I've already got a plan!” Panchito continued on as if he hadn't heard his companion. “Marsupilami, Maurice and I shall pretend to be fighting over who Pluto belongs to! We'll cause a ruckus like the kingdom's never seen before! Now go forth, Mickey! And fulfill your destiny!” Eager to aide his friend and even more eager to cause some action, the energetic rooster was leaping heaps and bounds towards the castle entrance.

“Good luck, Mickey...I feel you're gunna need it,” Marsupilami said with a sigh, giving a wave before he left with Pluto and Maurice, leaving Mickey all on his own to climb the tree. As he watched them begin their bizarre performance, Mickey couldn't help but smile as he resumed his ascension. He felt very lucky to have some loyal and generous friends, and hoped someday he could return all of their kindness. He didn't know how he would, but surely that would come to mind one he was normal-sized. Yes, when he was no longer the size of a peach pit, everything would come easy to him and life would be grand.

It was this one goal that fought through exhaustion as he rose higher and higher on the tree, sweat pouring down his black fur. He wouldn't allow himself to rest, not even for a second, and in time he was rewarded with a view of the castle's interior gardens. Since the branches of the tree only dangled over the wall, there was no way to climb down where he wanted. Luckily he spotted a small pond right beneath him, surrounded by gray rocks. Mickey held his breath and jumped – making the tiniest splash imaginable.

Several of the orange and red koi within the pond were greatly startled, unsure if this was a meal or an attacker. Their confusion allowed Mickey to swiftly swim to the surface and climb out, coughing beneath his hand. Now that he was on solid ground again, he was in another pickle – the grass was tall, so tall that he couldn't see where he was going! He'd have to guess which direction the castle was in. Not that he'd let a silly thing like getting lost stop him. Once he squeezed his robes and his tail dry, he decided the best way forward was in fact going forward.

Fortune smiled upon him, as within seconds he heard two female voices.

“Did you hear that, Princess? I could've sworn I heard something in the pond.” An older woman who stretched out her vowels, a bell clanging every time she spoke.

“It was probably just the koi playing.” Smaller and more feminine, a dainty melody that was gently reprimanding her elder. “You're far too paranoid, Clarabelle. You just want me to go back inside. Can't I at least see my own garden once in a while?”

“Not while the Oni King is out and about! We don't know when or where he'll show up!”

The princess was only a few feet ahead! Maybe the gods were finally giving Mickey a break! He smoothed down his clothes, unsure how to exactly present himself in front of royalty. It wasn't something his mother had taught him, as no one in the family ever thought they'd meet someone so important. With his chest puffed out, he pushed aside the blades of grass ahead of him. The princess was sitting in a clearing where the grass was much shorter, allowing Mickey to get the full view of her.

And that's when Mickey's mind became absolute mush.

He had heard rumors of Princess Minnie's divine beauty, but they sure didn't hold a candle to the real deal! She was a petite figure, with endless black hair rolling at her sides, dark as the purest night, although an attempt at a pink-ribbon bow to control some of it had been made. Since she wasn't in the public eye, her face was free of make-up, though Mickey wouldn't have guessed it. How could such luscious red lips be natural? How could she simply be born with those soft pink cheeks? Then again if anyone took a look at those alluring eyes of hers they might not have any inclination to look at her face – after all, once you saw those stunning blue diamonds, how could possibly look at anything else?

Clothes weren't something of particular importance to Mickey, save for his own due to his height. Yet here he was, admiring the pink kimono with flowers that seemed to flutter with every sigh the princess gave. It was so long and intricate that he couldn't tell where her hands were right away until he spotted the illustrated book she was holding. She was sitting on her knees, a thick blanket spread out underneath her, and she was surrounded by more and more books, all the same size, along with a few sweets and cups of tea. Yet those lay untouched, her appetite spoiled by Clarabelle's constant worrying.

Not that he could hear the two of them lightly arguing. In fact, the entire world had gone deaf in Mickey's ears, and he completely forgot about why he was in the garden in the first place. He probably could stayed in that same spot and watched this enchanting royal, with his mouth in a stupefied smile and his body hanging lopsided oblivious to the world around him. But despite his lovestruck stupor, the world continued to move around him, and Mickey only realized this when a shadow fell over him – Clarabelle's foot, unknowingly about to step on him.

“HEY HEY HEY! Watch it!” Mickey ran out into the clearing, managing to miss death by a millisecond. The females momentarily froze – before Clarabelle let out a scream.

“It's a bug! Ew, ew, ew!” The servant was wearing a yellow kimono of far less expense, a cowbell strung around her neck. She grabbed her robe, trying to avoid the touch of the “bug”.

“Wait... Either this bug knows his vocabulary,” Minnie said, slowly placing her book aside after very carefully putting in a pink paper bookmark to recall her place, and leaning down to inspect the newcomer with big wide eyes. “Or it's not a bug at all...Oh my goodness! It's a person! It's a very little person!”

So much for a grand entrance. Mickey cleared his throat, standing as tall as he could, daring to look Minnie right in the eyes – though given such lovely eyes she had, this was a difficult task. “I-I...I am Mickey, and I am here for the Lucky Hammer!”

“A-ha!” Clarabelle got over her fright easily enough, now rolling up her sleeves in anger. “He's working for the Oni King! Don't you worry, princess, I'll get rid of him!”

Wow, this was going much worse than he'd planned – not that he had planned for much. “W-what?! No I'm not!” Indignant, he stomped his foot, demanding to be heard. “I just wanna get taller, that's all! Can you blame me?”

“You can't trust him, Princess! I bet it's a trick! I bet he's here to kidnap you and take you the Oni King!”

Minnie slowly turned her head to give Clarabelle a look of deep skepticism. “And how, exactly, would someone this small kidnap me?” This finally seemed to shut Clarabelle up, at least for the moment. As the cow mulled over what she thought Mickey's true goal was, Minnie faced Mickey again, a warm smile gracing her delicate features. “I apologize for my handmaiden. She tends to think the worst of everyone.” She bowed her head low in retribution, which made Clarabelle's fit even worse – Minnie was supposed to have a certain cold, hard image in front of everyone. Why was she suddenly acting like her normal self? Hesitantly, her eyes wandered to the books. Oh, she hoped she was wrong about her reasons.

Mickey felt oddly humbled, and he toed his foot in the ground. “Aw, um, it's all right! Really! I bet everyone's kinda tense what with the Oni King's doings.” He pounded a fist to his chest, determined to convince them both of his somewhat noble intentions. “I swear on all my ancestors, he's no friend of mine! He's just a big bully, and bullies are the worst type of folks! Why, if I ever saw him, you know what'd I do?”

“I honestly have no idea,” Clarabelle muttered, rolling her eyes.

Mickey yanked out his trusty sword – his mother's sewing needle – and wielded it this way and that. “I might be small, but I don't let nobody get picked on! I'd give him what for! Show him a thing or two!”

Minnie giggled quietly, hiding her mouth behind one of her extra-long sleeves. “It warms my heart to know that there are such brave people in my kingdom. I know that one day, because of people like you, he will definitely be defeated.” Once Mickey had returned the sword to his handmade scabbard, she placed her hands in front of him. “You said your name was Mickey? I am Princess Minnie, and this is my handmaiden Clarabelle. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir Mickey.” This came with another proper bow, and Clarabelle reluctantly did the same.

“Nice ta meetcha too.” Mickey chirped, feeling his anxiety lessen with every passing second. For a royal figure, this lady was rather nice. Combine that with her ravishing looks, and no wonder she was rumored to have a thousand suitors vying for her hand. Once Mickey was of normal height, perhaps he could be one thousand and one. He cleared his throat to try and chase that thought away. “I've traveled far and wide, across the scorching heat and cruel forests, all the way from my homeland to come and see you.” Wait. “Well, not you, particularly.” Dang it. “I mean, not that it wouldn't be nice to see you, it's very nice, nicest thing I've ever seen.” The anxiety came back in full swing. “...Can I start over?”

Another round of giggles came from the princess. “Here, let me see if I can help. I've always found it better when people can talk eye to eye.” She opened her hands, laying them flat with her palms up. Mickey hesitated, reluctant to dirty her hands with his muddy, wet sandals. He slowly walked onto her hands, and she felt him up to her face – wow, she even smelled nice. He was a goner. “Now then. How can I help you, dear sir Mickey?” Clarabelle, meanwhile, had picked up one of the books and was flipping around to find a certain page.

She called him dear – FOCUS. “Um! I, uh, that is...” Another hard shake of the head. “Ever since I was born, I haven't grown a single inch! Betcha it's not gunna take long for you to imagine how hard that makes my life. My own father won't acknowledge me as his son. But I heard tale of your family's most prized possession – the Lucky Hammer that can turn anyone and anything into any size at all! I just need to borrow it so I can be a real man.”

Clarabelle huffed and snorted throughout the story, trying to find a way to disprove it but coming up blank. As for the princess, her smile now turned into a sympathetic frown, her shoulders lowering. “I see...I am sorry for what tragedies may have befallen you, but I'm afraid I can't just hand over the Lucky Hammer.”

“W-well! I'm not sayin' you just gotta give it to me, I only gotta borrow it!” Mickey pleaded, his squeaky voice ringing with desperation.

Minnie sadly shook her head. “Please understand...on my father's deathbed, he made me vow a very important promise about the Lucky Hammer. I swore to keep it, and nothing and no one can break it. I must think of my people, you understand.”

Mickey bit hard on his lower lip. He too knew the power of promises – after all, he'd promised not to return home until he was no longer the size of a peach pit. But to have the hammer so close and yet so far was unfair. With each depressing fact, Mickey's body wilted more and more, and Minnie's guilt rose and rose. “Oh, Mickey...I really am sorry. I'd hate for you to come all this way for nothing...” She gradually began to rise to her feet, making sure Mickey wouldn't fall over in her hands. “Why don't you stay in the castle tonight?”

“Absolutely not!” Clarabelle interjected with balled fists. “He's an intruder!”

“But it would be terribly rude to send him back after he's traveled so far!” Minnie whined, already turning to the castle doors. “Besides, if I welcome him, he's no longer an intruder. Now he's my honored guest.”

“Oooh – Princess, one of these days, your good intentions are going to get us all killed!”

She had spunk, Mickey had to admire her for that. And it's not like she was a bad person – she just had her own duties to fulfill. Mickey wanted to be mad at her, but honestly couldn't. “Well, your highness, long as you're offerin'...my pals traveled with me. Can they stay over too?”

“Of course!” But now that gave Minnie paused as she began to look around for any other small visitors.

Mickey stifled a laugh. “They're outside, and they're regular sized! There's my dog Pluto, most loyal pup you'll ever meet. Then there's Marsupilami, smarter than ten men put together, and his best and strongest pal, Maurice. And then you got Panchito Pistoles...his real name is longer than most men's put together! You couldn't ask for better friends.”

“Now you've got me eager to meet them, sir Mickey.” With a bemused smile, she lifted her hands to her left shoulder, allowing Mickey to sit there instead. “I've been cooped up in my castle for so long that I've become bored to tears. I would love to hear about all the grand adventures you and your traveling companions have been through.”

“Then you're in luck, 'cause we've got tons of 'em!”

But before Mickey could get out one single adventure, one of Minnie's guards had rushed out to meet them. “Princess! There's a big fight going on, right outside of the palace gates!”

Within seconds, Minnie's face took on the serious, hard-laced appearance she'd been known for, and Mickey was so startled at the transformation he almost thought Minnie had been switched with someone else when his backed was turned. “Are the Oni attacking?”

“Oh, no,” said the guard, quite casual about all of this, “It's just really funny.” The guard then stopped, adjusting his helmet so he could get a better look at what was on the Princess' shoulder – doing so allowed Mickey to spot a hint of green feathers, and he wondered if his luck had returned. “Do my eyes deceive me, Princess, or is that a very tiny person on your shoulder?”

“Quick, you gotta meet my friends!” Mickey ran down Minnie's arm, using her hand to swing back so he could fly forward – the entertained guard held out his hands to catch him.. “I wanna check something out. They're... well, they're the ones causing a ruckus. Let's go!”

This particular guard was so lackadaisical that he really saw no problem with this, lifting his hand so Mickey could stand on his shoulder. “You know what? Why not! Today just keeps getting more and more entertaining!” With a chuckle, he headed for the front entrance, Mickey along for the ride.

Minnie was about to join them when Clarabelle reached out and yanked Minnie by the shoulder. “Hold it right there, missy. Don't think I don't know what's going on?”

With her serious act on, Minnie didn't face Clarabelle at all. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“A-huh. So you didn't just invite a total stranger to stay the night...” Clarabelle shoved the offending pages right into Minnie's face. “...because he's a dead ringer for Sir Sakura?”

Mickey had no idea how much he coincidentally resembled the illustrated hero, save for some exaggerated eye sparkles, long flowing hair, and the ability to cause flower petals to rain down upon him whenever he spoke. Aside from this, he could have been Sir Sakura come to life – not that Minnie was going to admit it. “Is he? How remarkable. I hadn't noticed at all.” Yet even when Clarabelle pulled the pages away, she still refused to look at her handmaiden's face. “Come now, we mustn't keep my guests waiting.”

“He's not Sir Sakura!” Clarabelle groaned, following after Minnie. “None of that book is going to come to life! Princess, life is not like a manga! There is no big love at first sight meeting with cherry blossoms everywhere while some handsome hero introduces himself in slow-motion!”

Outside, the fake fight had certainly become real for Marsupilami, who was being chased in circles by Panchito, Maurice, Pluto, and now the two outside guards, who had caught gotten up in the mess. The guard with green feathers, Minnie, Clarabelle and Mickey watched for a minute or two before Mickey stuck his fingers in his mouth and let out a high-pitched whistle. “We're good, guys!”

Marsupilami stopped in place – which allowed the five before him to crash land into him with several THUD-THUD-THUD-THUD-THUDs. Mickey cleared his throat, a little embarrassed at the fuss they'd all made. “Whoops. Sorry about that. See, Princess, those guys are my pals! I wouldn't have made it here to the palace without them. Marsupilami, Maurice, Pluto, Panchito, we got some real royalty here! It's the Princess! And she's even allowing us to stay the night!”

“Remind me what the purpose of this was, again?”  Marsupilami asked with his face in the ground, leaving the other three to get up, brush themselves off, and bow with the deepest of grace, as if everything was perfectly normal. “Ah, yes, I see, the purpose was to remind us all that my life is just comic relief. Good to know. Don't help me up or anything.”

“Honored guests, eh?” The green-feathered guard repeated, amused. “Well then, we should all introduce ourselves as well! Aside from her royal highness, we have her lady-in-waiting, Clarabelle bow, and the men you just played with, Goofy and Pete!”

“Nice ta meetcha!” Goofy said, thinking that his concussion was the reason he saw a very tiny person on his fellow guardman's shoulder.

Pete sputtered at this same sight, pointing at Mickey with a shaking finger. “What are you– I mean, what are you? Is anyone else seeing this? I – YIPE!” Panchito, having no longer needed to put up a fake fight, began inspecting the guards for his real reasons, holding up the green feather, and this included giving Pete a good spin.

“Wait, wait, Panchito!” Mickey called out, hoping to stop his friend before Goofy got his turn. “This guy here has green feathers! And you don't have to turn him upside down to do it!” To make doubley sure, he turned to the guard, lightly rapping on his helmet. “Sir, do you remember saving a young rooster from some awful Oni several years ago?”

The guard raised his eyebrows, then cupped his beak, thinking. “It does sound familiar... I was a very young man myself back then! The castle had sent me out to help out certain villages, but I took so long getting back because I never could refuse a nice face in help. And... hmmm... yes, yes, I do believe there was one handsome fellow who actually argued about being saved...”

Panchito abruptly dropped Pete, his eyes widening, and he raced on over. “Is it me? I'm sure it was me! You must be the person I've been searching for!”

The guard hesitated, then held up his hands. “Hang on. With this silly helmet on, I swear I can barely see a thing. One moment!” It took him a few tries, as the darn thing was stuck rather tight, and when he finally yanked it off, it went flying, smacking into a nearby cherry blossom tree, causing the petals to swirl and sprinkle all around him. “There, that's much better.” He then shook his head, causing his feathers to flutter about, before fully finally facing Panchito. “My name is Jose Carioca, loyal retainer and guard to her highness, Princess Minnie. And you are?”

Mickey gestured outward with his palms, ready for Panchito to delve into his speech... except it didn't come. “Panchito? … Panchito, your speech!”

Panchito stared at Jose, mouth open but not a single word coming out. Because his feathers were already a very rich red, no one could tell he'd begun to blush, and heavily so. His fingers jerked in odd, twitchy motions, and when Maurice came over to poke his face, he didn't acknowledge it. “I... uh... ah... eh... um...?”

Marsupilami got up, brushing the last bits of mud off his tail. “Okay, if he's not going to say it, I will, and maybe I'll finally get it out of my head! His name is Panchito  Romero Miguel Junipero Francisco Quintero González the Third, and he has come to learn your ways and repay his debt!”

“Uh,” said Panchito.

Mickey decided he might as well help out. “If it takes him the rest of his life, he will obey your every command and make sure your fight was not in vain!”

“Uh,” said Panchito again.

“Do him the honor of becoming his sensei!” Marsupilami topped it off, with him, Maurice, and Pluto, getting on their knees and waving their jazz hands to make sure the show had all the pizzazz it needed.

Jose wasn't really sure what to make of all this, but boy it was entertaining, much more so than the fight! He chuckled quietly, then reached out, offering his hand to Panchito. “Well now, how can I possibly turn down such a generous offer? You seem like you've really become a soul worth saving! I am very happy to meet you again.”

Hand met hand, and Panchito's eyes rolled back into his head, and he went down like a sack of lead.

Jose, Minnie and Clarabelle looked to Mickey, since he supposedly had the answers to all of his friend's nonsense, but Mickey was just as stumped. He had no idea what happened to his teacher, but he put on a brave, albeit nervous grin. They had, at the very least, succeeded in getting to the capital and meeting the princess! Now all he needed to was get the Lucky Hammer! And to do that, he needed to be as determined as his friends, exactly like Panchito!

Marsupilami began to tie up Panchito with his tail in order to carry him. “Is there such a thing as a happy coma, because I think that's what he's got.”

…. Maybe not exactly like Panchito.

[a-black-pegasus]

Feasts

Part..3! Of that Loki, and borrower fic. Takes place in Asguard, the part that comes after dances.

Female reader and Loki enjoy!

(eh its not the best but I'm pressed for time)

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You were so excited! You were actually going to a feast! A real Asguardian feast! With music, and dancing, and entertainment of all kinds!

Loki made you hold on to his arm as he escorted you into the large half room. It had three great sweeping walls, and a roof of clear glass. But on the far side, the room opened up to outside where a large garden spread out.

Along the sides of the room, tables laden with food, drinks, and beer groaned and creaked under the shifting weight of the near giant men who sat at them.

Compared to them, Loki was skinny, and whispy looking. However you knew he was just as strong, just in different ways. Magic ways mostly...

It was how you were able to be here tonight. Originally only a few inches tall, Loki had given you a potion to grow. It was supposed to last a couple hours, but although you were much bigger, You could see you were still pretty short compared to everyone else in the room.

"Let's get you something to eat first shall we little one?" Loki suggested, leading you over towards one of the farther tables where....

You gasped. "Loki! Maybe we should sit somewhere else—"

"Nonsense. You wanted to meet other people yes? Well believe it or not my tiresome brother certainly counts as "other people" you know."

You gulped as he took you over.

Loki's brother, Thor, looked around a bit before spotting him. He stood to his feet with a wide smile, and held his arm out.

"Brother! I was wondering when you would get here! Come!" He shouted. Of course the room was pretty noisy so it wasn't noticed much.

Loki wore a sly smirk as he approached. "Thor, I would like to introduce you to (Y/N). She's...a friend of mine."

Thor looked down at you, and smiled kindly. Bending down, he took your hand and kissed it.

"It is a pleasure to meet you (Y/N). Please have a seat, and tell me about yourself." He sweeped his arm back, and gestured to the padded bench.

Blushing from the tips of your ears to your chin, you sat down. You could feel Loki's amusement roll off him.

"Um...well.. I uh..." You stuttered.

Thor laughed. "Please. Do not be nervous, you are not under interigation." He paused. "What do you like to do for fun?" He asked.

You ducked your head. "Well, um actually I'm starting to like reading."

"Reading eh? I can see why my brother likes you." Thor nodded. "What kind of books?"

You rubbed the back of your neck. "Well, I can't really anything very advanced yet. Loki is actually teaching me." You revealed.

That seemed to surprise Thor. "What? He is teaching you to read?" You could hear the un-asked question in his tone. Like, "why can't you read?" And "why is Loki teaching you?". Maybe this weekend a mistake, bit you were to nervous to think of anything else

Loki decided to help you out. "Stop pestering Thor, You are being rude. Let her eat." He snapped.

"Ah, right. My apologies (Y/N). Although it is a pity you have to learn from my brother, I am glad you have gotten the opportunity to learn." He leaned in a bit. "I know my brother can be irritable, if he ever gives you a hard time come to me." Thor spoke loud enough for Loki to hear.

Trying to bite back a smile, and failing, you snorted. "Thank you my Lord. I'll keep that in mind."

"No need for formalities here. It is a feast! Enjoy yourself!"

Allowing a smile to fully form, you turned to the dishes set out, and began piling your plate high.

***

Awhile later, after most people had eaten their fill, they began spilling out onto the open floor for dancing. The musicians struck up a quick paced tune, and a young man began singing in a light voice.

"Loki, Loki, let's dance!"

Loki looked out on the floor, and sighed. "Very well. Do you know how to do this one?"

"Errr...." You glanced at the paired dancers. It seemed a bit complicated, but it was nothing you couldn't handle...

You hoped.

"...I think so?"

Loki took your hand as he stood and helped you up. "Well, alright then. Don't fall behind, or get swept away." He warned.

You joined in the next song. As the music played, partners began to circle each other holding each other's forearms. Then they wrapped their arms around each other, and began doing complicated steps.

"Alright little one just—" he winced as you stepped on his foot. "..Follow me..."

"Sorry." You squeaked.

There was a jump as the music swelled. You bounced up, and kicked Loki's shin.

"Sorry!"

"Little one, it seems I should have given you more dance lessons." He said through pain gritted teeth. You ducked your head feeling your ears burn in shame.

The two of you had to stick it out till the end. It would be hard to leave through the moving crowd. Mercifully the musicians slowed down.

You focused on your feet, and eventually seemed to find a rythym.

"You're picking it up at the very least." Loki commented.

"Yeah...I'm sorry I'm not great at this." You sighed.

He shrugged. "You're an interesting dance partner. Most I've danced with do it with little varient in the way they move. Although it wounds me," he chuckled. "Quite literally in fact—"

You smacked his arm. "How's that for wounding?"

"Let me finish." He smirked. "I enjoy your spontaneousitty."

"Oh?" You asked as the song ended. Loki let go of your waist, and bowed.

"Yes." He replied as you curtsied back. An odd thing to attempt in pants, and cloak.

Hastily, Loki and you escaped the floor befire the next song could start. You gigglex and covered your mouth as a few disgruntled nobles shot you odd looks.

"Perhaps we should take a walk?"

You nodded. "Yes please."

The two of you entered the garden, and took a side trail away from the main party. Unknown to you, a pair of curious eyes followed.

"Loki? Thank you...for everything." You looked up to meet the gods eyes.

His lips twitched upwards. "Everything? Even the teasing little one?"

"Nooo... Not the teasing." You laughed. "But everything else: teaching me to read, letting me eat your food, giving me have a safe place to sleep...."

"All ridiculously small acts that in no way affect me." He teased. "I do not mind caring for you when you return pleasant company in exchange."

There was a stone bench by a small spring of running water. You sat and watched the fish swim around it, while Loki stepped over to lean against a tree.

"Loki...um... I.." you fidgeted.

"Yes little one?" He chuckled.

You took a breath. "I think I..." Before you could finish your sentence you felt a tingling sensation. Your clothes seemed bigger, and loose. "Loki!" You cried out in alarm, but he was already rushing to your side.

"Looks like the potion has run out." He kneeled to be closer at eye level. You gathered cloth up to cover yourself.

"I can see that!" You snapped. "L-loki..." You squeaked as his hands came over, and scooped you and the shirt you were previously wearing up in his arms.

"We should return back to my—" Loki had said only to be cut off by a loud angry voice.

"Loki! What magic did you put on (Y/N)?!" Thor's question rang out.

You gulped. "Oh no..."

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@sammigruber @sammie-skele-turtle @gatlily @nightmarejasmine @misfitsgalaxygt @obwjam @bee-wrecker @nerdqueenkat @tinyliltina @nini116 @queenofconspiracies @dc41016 @jasper-jazzle-zazzle @tiefling-trickery @tinyinabigworld

[galivantingg]

The Hunt

Love is dead, and I was on my way to dying. My eyes blurred as my head hit the ground, the energy almost completely drained out of me. Through my fading vision I could see the silhouette of my boyfriend walking away from me, probably to get something sharp to finish the job with. I don’t know how it had happened, he had never been violent before; it was like he just snapped. I thought we were having a light hearted argument, and then he started screaming. He was so loud, screaming and yelling and spit flying, veins popping, face going red. 

My head felt like it was filled with cement and the kitchen was water. My throat burned, and the bruises everywhere on me burned and stung. I couldn’t even gather enough energy to cry out in pain. The only thing that seemed to work was my mind. I was thinking a mile a minute, how he was going to kill me, how he was going to end it, how he was going to get rid of me. I prayed. I was never a religious person, I couldn’t believe a god was out there and allowed all the hatred and this destruction. But in my final moments, I decided to pray. Pray that I didn’t become a number, a statistic. Pray that I would be remembered, that I would be missed. Pray that maybe, just maybe, I don’t die tonight. 

And someone heard.

She came like moonlight, cold light shining almost outwards of her. A small girl, maybe 10 years old, was standing in the doorway of our apartment. She looked at me, broken and bleeding on the floor, tears seeping from my puffed up eyes. Then she looked at Aaron. Standing three feet away, bruised and bloodied knuckles wrapped tightly around the handle of a knife. My parents had given us that knife set, where we told them we had bought an apartment.

“Who the hell are you?” Aaron asked. He looked at the girl threateningly and for some reason a chilling sense of foreboding washed over me. I didn’t know how, but I know that he shouldn’t have talked to her that way.

“You do not know me, boy,” she bit out scathingly, “and I pity all who know such a poisonous person; if you can even be called that.”

I was losing consciousness, and I didn’t want to. I was scared. Scared the little girl wouldn’t be able to help me, scared Aaron would kill me and then her. Scared that Aaron might kill some other innocent woman.

“Who the fuck do you think you are little girl,” Aaron growled, wobbling closer to her. His four beers were getting to him, and he was starting to waver as much as me.

“Don’t you dare,” she hissed standing up taller. “Ever talk to a woman like that. Don’t you dare,” she reminded me of the cat I had found was I was a kid, hissing and spitting, defending her young. “Ever touch a woman again. You do not deserve anything but death, and I shall give it to you.” Her words started to leave her mouth, echoing around the room, swimming all around me, lulling me to sleep.

___

I woke up in what looked like a room. Except the walls were cloth, and the ground felt like grass. And I could move. I could see, and I could hear, and my body no longer felt covered in aches and scratches and bruises. I lifted my head, looking around. I was in a tent, but it was the fanciest tent I had ever seen. There were thick rugs covering the floor, comfortable chairs placed around the large space. There was also a fireplace, somehow. And the girl. The girl from my apartment. I was in a tent, with a strange girl who found me while my boyfriend was about to kill me. I had so many questions and yet I did not know how to phrase any of them. I don’t think I’d even be able to say thank you.

She glanced at me, eyes searching for something, scanning my face. Her eyes I then realized were silver, like the glow of a star. That’s an odd thing to compare it to but it seemed appropriate.

“Don’t try to talk, my child,” the girl said. She didn’t sound like a girl. She sounded old, like she had seen civilizations rise and fall and rise again. “I know what you want to say, I know you have much to ask, but there are some things you must understand before I can answer your questions. May I continue?” I nodded my head. “I am Artemis, goddess of the hunt, of chastity, of the moon. I find girls, just like you, who have been wronged by men, and I make them my companions. I give them eternal life in exchange for a vow of chastity, a vow to never be intimate with a man. Do you understand?”

I nodded numbly. I had learned about Artemis in school, in one of my history classes. It was a brief lesson of all the gods, and if she was real then all the others were real. And I believed her. She somehow got me away from Aaron, healed me, and has a fireplace in her tent. I can buy her being an immortal millenia old goddess of the hunt.

“Do you pledge to follow me, from hunt to hunt, day to day?” I nodded. “Do you pledge to uphold your vow of abstinence?” I nodded. “It is done,” she finished. At first I didn’t feel any different, but then it was like my senses sharpened. Like I was watching a 1080p video. Like I could see movements before they came. I could smell everything so much better. The tent smelt like the forest, and hot chocolate. I could hear feathers rustling outside, a swish of a tail and people walking around, quietly murmuring to each other.

And I could see. Oh, I could see the different shades of silver in Artemis’ eyes, the coldness and the warmth buried deep underneath.

“Rise child, there is much for you to learn.”

I was born for this, as I later discovered over the years. Everything that made me me had been repressed, by Aaron, by my parents, by the people I thought loved me. There was only the Hunters, and Artemis. They were my real family, they cherished me. They valued me. And I valued them. We travelled everywhere together, hunting monsters. Both myth and real. We killed monsters who prayed on humans, mostly on females. We saved them, As I had been saved.

This is what I was born for. Feet pounding into the ground, my breath coming out in short pants. Wind ripping through my hair, pulling at any loose strands. My hands on my bow, feeling the feathers on the arrows. This is what it was to be free, to be fully you, with nobody there to censor any part of you they didn’t like.

Sometimes I missed love, romantic love, but then I remembered. I remembered Aaron, and the one before that, and all the others we stumbled upon. Angie’s Mike. Penny’s Jared. Sasha, David. He was the worst. Because he did not value Sasha. He did not uphold his promise, to love her, to care for her, and only her. Because he was fucking other girls behind her back, while she worked hard all day so they could spend their days together.

Artemis turned him into a jackalope. We hunted him down, and I could see the fear in his eyes. He did not understand what was happening. He died not knowing why he died.I was born for this. The wind, the freedom, the truth, the hunt. 

[uniquelylaura-blog]

The Magic of “Old” Friendships

What is it about the friends that you have had a friendship with that seems like you have known them forever? They know your history, your quirks and all of you faults. They share old stories over and over that you never get tired of listening too. You have been through marriages, divorces, deaths and births of children. You go on “girls’ trips” and you plan future trips. You celebrated turning 20, then 30, then 40 and now 50-year birthdays.

 I said I would never write about my girlfriends, but apparently, I have changed my mind. What I will not write about is all those stories that do not need to be put into print! This would mean most of our stories.

 I met my best friend in high school when I was 15 and she was 14 years old. We were “thick as thieves” in high school. Our friendship continued into college and after. I met the next “batch” of girls in college. The group has grown over the years by adding co-workers, other friends and cousins to “the girl’s group.”

 Over the last 35 years, I have been to weddings, funerals, baby showers, ect. I have watched all of our children and “fur babies” grow up. I am now waiting on the first grandchild, which hopefully is not too soon. Grandchildren will just confirm that I am now old!

 What makes these friendships endure? I have had plenty of other friends that come and go, but this groups always seems to stay together. I had other friends in high school and college, but rarely am I in touch with many of them.

 I have learned over the years that there are a number of different types of friendships. There are work friends, neighborhood friends, colleagues in your line of work friends and social friends, to name a few.

 When I first started working at my first professional job, I became friends with my co-workers. I worked in a physical rehabilitation hospital and we went through a lot of emotional situations in dealing with our patients. The staff would lean on each other for emotional support through these times. My boss would even have socials at her home for all of us to get together for cook outs and stress relief. I even recall a few weekend beach trips with them. However, when I left the hospital to pursue another career, we lost touch. I have not spoken to any of them in more 20 years. I can not tell you why either.

 During my years of studying counseling, I read about how some friendships are “situational.” This is when you are friends with someone because of where you work or maybe from the club at the swimming pool. These friends share a common interest. It seems that when this common interest is no longer present, these friendships have a tendency to fade.

 Conversely, I have a friend that I met at my second job and she and I have remained friends for over 30 years. We still chat on the phone, do fun activities together, celebrate all the birthdays and confide in each other. What makes this happen? What makes one relationship thrive and others disappear?

 The advent of Facebook and other social media have allowed people to contact their long lost friends. Have you tried locating someone that you have had no contact with for a number of years? How did it turn out?

 Have you ever had a friend that you thought was super cool and awesome for years, then realize one day that you were wrong? I have had friends that I was extremely close too, then something would happen to open my eyes to what the person was really like. There were times that I did not like what I saw. Research says that sometimes when you do not like something about someone else is because this is a trait that is innate in you. So, you do not like someone because you are just like them?

 I think one reason that friendships endure is patience. I have had to be patient with some friends and I know they have had to be patient with me. Have you ever been in a situation where you or someone else was being completely unreasonable? If you said no, you are wrong. It happens to everyone at some time or another. I know I have experienced both sides of this situation. I find at these difficult times that it is a “test” of the friendship. Most important is how YOU handle the situation.

 My mom always told me, “you may not be able to stop what you are thinking, but you have the power to decide how you are going to behave.” You always have a choice, even if none of the choices seem appealing. In my opinion, this is a true test of someone’s character. I work hard on trying not to say things that I will regret later. This is a lifelong lesson, though.

 So, what makes one friendship last and others do not? I do not know the answer, I was just asking it out loud to myself.

 I have a theory that some people seem to be more “in tune” with your personality. I find I can connect with some people on multiple levels that include spiritual beliefs, social norms and morals and common interests.

 There are some topics that I have learned not to discuss at any time as these can be fierce discussions and can end in an argument. Subjects include:

1.      Religion

2.      Abortion vs. Pro-life

3.      Politics of any kind

4.      Parenting/Discipline

5.      Public school vs. Private school

6.      Vegetarian vs. Non-vegetarian

7.      Hunting

These issues are “hot beds” for debate and can quickly fuel into a shouting match. Steer clear of these issues as you can. If someone presses you to discuss, find simple ways to get out of expressing your opinion. Remember, just because you listen to a person’s point of view does not mean that you agree with them! I use phrases that are benign like, “hmm, interesting” or “really”. Allowing people to have their own opinion should not interfere with your life.

 By the way, I was a vegetarian for 12 years, then returned to eating red meat. I have been on both sides of this discussion and no one ever wins. When I was a single and still a vegetarian, a friend set me up with a guy. Turns out, this guy was an avid hunter. He spent the entire date trying to convince me that hunting was “necessary to maintain/control the population of animals” and “hunting is part of human nature” and blah, blah, blah. What was my friend thinking when she set me up with this guy? Did I wrong her in a past life or something? As you would guess, this was our only date.

 Have you ever had a “friendship crush” on someone? It could be male or female. I am not talking about romantic crushes. A friendship crush is when you just adore and admire someone so much that you may do the “toddler dance” prior to seeing them. I have had many. I also noticed that I would go out of my way and inconvenience others just to please my crush! You do not see their faults, because you think that they do not have any. This can put you in precarious situation.

 Many times, when I have had a “friendship crush”, I do not make good choices. By this I mean, I would do whatever activity the crush wanted to do just to please them, even if I did not like the activity. I would blow off plans with others if my crush wanted to hang out with me. I would refuse to see any negative traits in my crush that other friends would point out, then go onto defend my crush’s behavior!

 Inevitability, there would be a time when a situation would occur that would force me to open my eyes to the true nature of the person that I had a crush on. I realized this person had faults and I was devastated! How could this happen to such a perfect person that I have a crush on? Answer: Because NO ONE is perfect!

 I later realized that I had placed unrealistic expectations on my crush. I had idolized another person and that can be very painful when truth is revealed.

 What makes friendships last for so many years? What cuts a friendship “short”? Do you know when you meet someone that they will be a friend for life? Are you a good friend to have? What constitutes a “good friend”?

 I do not know any of the answers to these questions, but they are put to you to make you think for yourself!

 I think part of the “magic” of long-term friendships are the willingness of you to “evolve” as a person. This means as your life changes that you learn and grow. The dictionary defines the word evolve as “develop gradually, especially from a simple to more complex form.”

 Long term friendships require that as life changes, you change with it. I think as we become more complex people, we learn about ourselves.

 So, I think that all friendships are valuable. However, there is something special about the friends that have a long history with you.

 To my “girls”, I thank you for always being there for me. I thank you for all the fun times we have had and those yet to come. I look forward to more “girls” trips. I look forward to all of our grandchildren, as we will all get together to celebrate. I find myself lucky to be a part of this group.

 If you have friends that you have thought of contacting, do it! Think for yourself what a true friend is and then be that. If you have negative friends in your life, distance them and wish them well.

 Friendships can bring much joy to your life. “Old friendships” remind you of the magic that there is in living your life!

 Too my “girls”, Cheers!

Please visit uniquelylaura.com for more stories!

[wonwoosthetic]

Just Best Friends | Part One || Sebastian Stan

                              MASTERLIST             WHO I WRITE FOR

PART TWO

This one was for me personally I think quite hard to write because I wasn’t sure how exactly I would want it to end, I hope you like how it turned out :)

I am so sorry for the massive delay, but I still hope everyone, especially the person who sent it in, likes it!

This is my first ever request only about Sebastian, so thanks a lot to the person who requested it, I was very happy - I hope you enjoy it, as well as everyone else of course :)

Request by Anonymous:  And then for seb i was thinking he spends time with his best friend who he has a huge crush on

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none

Just Best Friends

You and Seb had been best friends for quite a while. The day he walked into the classroom of your middle school, you knew there was something unique and interesting about this new kid. He had sat down next to you since it had been the only free seat and you got into a conversation. A proper conversation – it had been something quite and sadly rare for you, due to your shyness and anxiety about approaching other people – but Sebastian had introduced himself as a Romanian, who had just moved from Vienna to America and was then your new sitting partner pretty much everywhere. In the cafeteria, in the library, and in every classroom you had had the same lessons in. Very quickly your friendship had tightened and within a short amount of time, you had become best friends. Best friends you could only dream of being with someone.

During your shared school career each of you had developed their own interests and dreams - Sebastian’s being becoming an actor one day, whereas you went down the creative lane as well, but you had been more into writing and creating. You had wanted to become an author. Two dreams very different from each other, yet dreamy and achievable.

Flash forward a couple of years after graduating, you were sitting in one of the comfier chairs behind the cameras, watching your best friend shoot one of the last scenes, for the day, for Infinity War at eight a.m.. 

He had actually become an actor. And you… well and you, you had become a well-published author. Your eyes followed his every move, watching his concentration closely. He was the inspiration for your newest book you were writing, he just didn’t know it, and wasn’t supposed to. Seb had invited you to come onto the set and with a long and trustworthy talk with the Russo brothers, you were allowed to join the cast and crew for a couple of days. You and the Winter Soldier had planned out the entire day – since you had been wanting to move to Los Angeles to be closer to your best friend, you decided that it would be a good idea to stop at IKEA and have a look at new furniture because your old place was quite far away, it actually being in New York. Right after that, you had an appointment to look at two different apartments, hoping, one of them would be the right one.

Completely lost in thoughts, you didn’t notice Chris Evans standing in front of you waving his hands “(Y/N)? Are you still with us?”, he joked. His voice made you jump “Oh-what, sorry”, he smiled, “What is it?” “Your boyfriend is done, he had to go into mask really quickly, wanted me to tell you to get ready to head off.”

The entire cast always joked about you and Sebastian being in a relationship, due to him talking about you quite a lot, yet you had no idea how much it actually was.

--- Second Person, Sebastian --- (Does that make sense? Haha, I don’t know how to write that, please help – it’s still in the second person, but more focused on Sebastian’s actions)

He was sitting in one of the three chairs in the makeup trailer, waiting for the entire makeup to be finally taken off his face. His stylist, Margret, entered the room holding a cup of coffee in her right hand “Oh, you’re already here? I thought you would still chat with the rest, sorry”, she put the steaming cup on the surface in front of Sebastian.

Her comment made him smile “No problem. (Y/N)’s here, she wants to go furniture shopping and then also, I think, we’ll be taking a look at some apartments.” She started taking off his makeup “Oh my gosh, you’re finally moving in together?”, she got very excited and backed away to take a proper look at him, “No, SHE wants to move to L.A.”, he laughed.

Margret continued her work on his face “Oh please, she should just move in with you.” The female stylist was a big shipper of you and Sebastian and would do pretty much anything for him to finally confess his feelings towards you.

“But she wants to live by herself”, he defended you and himself, “And you know that how?”, she questioned and waited for an answer.

He didn’t know what to answer, he didn’t know if you actually wanted to love by yourself or if you would want to live with him.

“Thought so”, Margret smiled proudly.

Their conversation continued involving different subjects and Sebastian trying not talk about you when you entered the trailer “Hey, Maggie”, you greeted the forty-two-year-old woman whom you’ve got to know over the years on the set of the Captain America trilogy and now Infinity War. “Good Morning, (Y/N)”, she glanced at you, before turning her attention back to the actor, but continued talking to you “Heard you have a long day ahead.”

You took a seat on the chair to Sebastian’s left and looked smilingly at him “Well, someone has a big mouth.”

Seb held his arm up in a sign of defense “Don’t look at me”, making the three of you laugh out loud.

--- Forty Minutes Later ---

You held up a pleasant conversation and after about forty minutes your best friend looked like somewhat of a normal human being again, no longer wearing his fake metal arm. Sebastian and you walked out of the makeup trailer after saying goodbye to Margret and were making your way to his trailer.

“I’m just gonna change into more normal clothes and then we can head off, alright?”, he turned his face towards you “Yeah yeah, sure, no hurry, the meeting is at like four p.m., I think”, you answered. “Great”, he said while opening the door of his trailer for you to walk in first – you commented with a quiet “Thank you.”

After entering, the actor went right over to the small dresser in the corner and decided on a plain grey shirt and a pair of black coloured jeans. You sat down and took your phone out of the back pocket of your pants. Sebastian started taking off his top, not thinking about going to the small bathroom the trailer had, since you were friends and you had seen him in his boxers and/or swimming trunks. Your attention went from your phone to the topless man in front of you, who was turned away from you, giving you the opportunity to take a good look at his muscly back – you could tell, he worked out a lot for this role. He then took off his pants as well and you turned your gaze back to your phone, not wanting him to know that you looked at his clearly worked-out body. After the actor got his own jeans on, he turned back looking at you half lying on the sofa “Alright, let’s go!”

He tickled your feet, making you jump up “I’m up”, you laughed while exiting the small transportable home.

Together you walked to Sebastian’s car and started your journey to IKEA.

--- In IKEA ---

“Oh gosh, look Seb! This is SO cute!”, you shouted out loud, pointing at a small set of differently sized containers in pastel colours. Your best friend looked admiringly at you, smiling at your excitement and following your quick steps “They’re just containers”, he commented laughing. You entered one of the pre-furnished kitchens where the containers were set on the counter and walked up behind than to take a closer look “Yeah, they’re containers, but their colours are so cute, I love it”, you defended your love for cute clutter.

You walked around the Swedish furniture warehouse for quite a while, looking at all the different styled living rooms, kitchens, offices and were now at the bedroom section. (I know they have a different order in real life, but I had to make it like that, for the story to work)

Sebastian was looking around the room you were currently admiring “This is absolutely gorgeous. My bedroom will look like this.” “You have said this to at least three other bedrooms before we’ve seen this one, here”, he stated smiling at you. “Well, yes, but I haven’t seen this one up to this point, so…”, you commented on his statement, smiling back at him.

While you were walking around the room, gazing at all the small details, like clutter and decorations, Seb couldn’t help but to look at you, no, admiring you – you found beauty in the smallest things and got so happy just by being in IKEA. He had been looking at all those pre-furnished rooms with you, imagining some of the rooms being in your future house. He dreamed of laying in the bed he was currently sitting on, waiting for you, with you next to him, maybe even hearing small laughs from outside the door and little feet tapping around the wooden floor in the hallway-

“Sebba?”, you interrupted his daydream. He looked up into your eyes with his eyes being almost as big as golf balls “Yeah?” “You zoned out for quite a while, I think I’ve been talking to myself for at least five minutes. Are you OK?”, you laughed but still asked concerned. He simply nodded and got up from the very comfortable bed “You should get this bed, it’s really comfortable.” You took a quick look before throwing yourself into the big mass of differently sized pillows “You’re so right. Take one of those pieces of paper where it says what brand it is, please”, you asked him. “Sure”, he got one of those sheets and when he came back, he still saw your lying figure and the daydreams began again.

You, lying in your shared bed, exhausted from a long day, running around with the mini-yous. He was standing a couple feet away from the bed but approached the bed slowly to be near you. His body started over-towering you before he was about to kiss you-

“Sebastian? What’s going on?”, you were in front of him again, worried about his current mental state. “Nothing, I’m just tired”, he defended himself. You got even more worried than you already were “Should we leave? I can look at the apartments myself, you don’t have to be there.” “No, no, no, it’s fine. I’m gonna come with you.”

You nodded unsurely, taking a mental note to only look at one of the apartments instead of the two you had planned an appointment to look at and maybe even buy.

You carried on with your journey through the massive furnishing store and shortly before reaching the checkout, the two of you walked through the kid’s section. Sebastian didn’t want the daydreams to start again because at the thought of having kids with you, he just completely melted, so he decided to joke around a bit – he found a Kermit The Frog stuffed toy and started messing around with you. He took the toy and hid behind a big rack waiting for you to pass him. As you walked passed your best friend, he extended his arm, making Kermit jump out “Hello, beautiful, I’m Kermit, and you are?”, making you jump as well. After getting scared, you tried catching your breath before ranting at Sebastian “Sebastian Stan, do you know how much of a heart attack you just gave me?” He came out of his hiding spot, wearing a smug smirk on his face

“But you’re still here with me, so everything’s fine.” You shook your head laughing, continuing your walk with the actor close behind you “You know, Kermit is pretty beaten down because you didn’t give him his name”, you turned around and slapped him on his upper left arm “Stop it, idiot.” If he only knew, he was so much more than just an idiot to you. He was your idiot. “Idiot, yourself”, was the best comeback he could come up with and even then, he knew, you were his idiot. In his dreams.

After managing to make your way out of IKEA, you had an additional plant and two bag of sweets with you, and were then making your way to the apartment you were hoping to possibly buy – you wanted to get your own as soon as possible, to stop always having to sleep at Sebastian’s place whenever you visit Los Angeles – you thought you annoyed him, but if you only knew, that having you out of the house was the last thing he would have wanted.

--- At The Apartment ---

The location was a bit more outside of the city but was surrounded by beautiful and even quite old buildings, making it look nothing like the L.A. you knew. “This is absolutely gorgeous”, you admired everything around you after Sebastian helped you to get out of the car by opening the door and extending his hand, as a gentleman would. “Yeah, it’s pretty amazing”, he let his gaze move around before it landing on the building he remembered from the online website, that you had been looking at for about two weeks straight “This is it”, he nodded towards it.

You turned around and took a proper look at it, having it a bit more beautiful in mind “Let’s go”, you clapped and headed forwards. You didn’t have anyone to show you around since according to the website, you could just go and take a look and make an offer after seeing it. Right when you opened the front door to the hallway on the ground floor, a smell of something rotting hit you immediately, making you put your hand over your nose and mouth “Oh my gosh, what the heck?”, you cursed. Sebastian followed right after, In the same position “What died in here?”, he questioned loud enough for you to hear, getting you to laugh – the sound of an angel in his ears.

The both of you headed up the stairs, looking for the apartment door with a ‘4’ on it, which you found very easily. Opening the door to your possible future apartment, the bad smell slowly got better, and Sebastian and you removed your hands from your face. You looked around the living room you then stood in suspiciously, looking for everything that would probably be wrong with it, due to its hallway already looking like people do who knows what in there. After only a couple of seconds, you found wet spots all over the walls, while Sebastian found out that there was the entire bathroom missing “Great, the entire wall will be moldy in at least three days”, you huffed out annoyingly and done when Seb came back “I don’t want to make the situation worse-“ Before he could continue, you interrupted him kindly, yet still annoyed “You couldn’t make the situation worse.” “Well… there’s no bathroom”, his comment made you turn around to look at him “What? What do you mean, there’s no bathroom?”

Instead of answering, he nodded for you to follow him. You reached the ‘bathroom’, well it was more of a five square-meter room, which had absolutely nothing in it, besides tubes sticking out of its floor – the apartment was for sure not what it looked like online.

“This could absolutely not get any worse”, you commented at the end of your nerves. Sebastian opened his arms to hug him, which you obviously did when suddenly there was a female voice from one of the apartments above you “Let the rat out of the door!”, she screamed. “Oh my, you can’t be serious”, you muttered while backing away from the Winter Soldier and went back to the living room, him following you.

You started pacing around the room “What on earth is all this? This apartment is NOTHING to what it looked like on the website. What am I supposed to do? What-“

Sebastian just started at you. Yes, you were angry and ranting about everything that was wrong about that place, but all he could think was how beautiful you were. How, even when you were at the end of your temper, you still looked like the most gorgeous woman/girl he had ever lied his eyes on, so his next comment just slipped out of his mouth

“Move in with me.”

You instantly stopped talking and turned your attention towards the man standing right in front of you

“What?”, you laughed.

---

So, that was it, I really hoped you enjoyed it and I’m very thankful for you taking your time :)

I worked really hard on this, so I hope everyone enjoys it, especially the person, that sent it in - I’m sooo sorry for the long wait, but I hope you still like it!

I hope you have/had a wonderful day/night! :)

[vintagesewingmachine]

The Shadowsinger - Azriel Fic - Part 6/?

Azriel struggles to contain his feelings - for Elain, for Mor, for himself- and a jewel thief is running around Velaris, causing confusion. And with Cassian in Illyria, Azriel feels alone in his darkness. Into this mess waltzes a stranger, an enigma who calls herself Amuten with a mysterious past and connection to Amren.

Warning: angst, depressed thoughts, self-loathing, dark azriel, cold azriel, anxiety, graphic depictions of violence

dont worry there is happy Az too

<<First -- Next>>

Also note: part fives being a jerk so youll just have to search my blog for it. it wont link up so i linked part one instead

The lake was deep and clear, so clear you could see the bottom. It was tucked away in another small valley, and surrounded by evergreen trees. Azriel landed on the rocky shore, did a quick scan to make sure it was empty, and then winnowed to a cafe in Velaris to await Amuten.

******

She was several minutes late. But she was wearing Illyrian leathers that fit perfectly. They were in very good condition, but looked old nonetheless. She had thick black hair in a long braid, tanned skin covering Illyrian features, and purple eyes. And wings. Azriel stood when he saw her. He nodded in greeting, and she replied, "Good morning, Azriel." He held out a scarred hand. "Let's go." He whisked them away in darkness. 

*****

"What a stunning location," Amuten murmured when she opened her violet eyes. The shadowsinger nodded his agreement. He did love this lake. 

Taking a quick scan of her folded wings, he said, "Can you unfold your wings please? I need to take a look at them."

"Of course," the female chirped, eyes twinkling. "Just don't feel put out when they're bigger than yours." Azriel's eyes widened slightly as he raised them to look into her mirthful orbs. A quiet chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"I promise not to be put out, Amuten. I've had five hundred years of having a larger wingspan than my brothers, to their unending frustration."

Her laugh rang out, loud and clear. Then she snapped her wings open, a whoosh of wind ruffling his hair. Mild surprise rippled through him; they were... well, for lack of a better word, perfect. Smooth black velvet covered more muscle than he was expecting, and they were indeed large, though it was questionable whether or not they were bigger than his. And unlike Feyre's, where he had had to correct and direct her shaping them, they were flawlessy natural. Unaltered by Amuten's shifting abilities, and unmarked. Azriel circled her slowly, inspecting. Her wings didn't tremble or droop as she held them out, and she seemed relaxed. Finally he came to a halt in front of her. "Have you excersised your wings without actually flying? They are well muscled and you seem to be comfortable with holding them aloft."

"Yeah," she said. "But you can't fly."

"Yeah," she said, quirking an eyebrow. "Got any new information?" 

Azriel's lips twitched. "Plenty."

Amuten gave a quiet chuckle. "But seriously, how are we gonna start?"

Azriel tilted his head, considering. She was already more advanced than Feyre, having always been half Illyrian, and knowing how to move her wings. "You're going to jump off that rock."

Her face split into a grin. "Sweet." Now it was the spymaster's turn to raise a brow. "You're excited to jump off a giant rock?" "Heck yes! Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to fly? I mean, I've been airborne before, and I have a basic understanding of how it works, but I've never truly flown," she said fervently. "And I cannot tell you how much it means that you'd be willing to teach me." Azriel just nodded his head. "Well, better start then."

*****

Four hours later, they were both ready to stop. Four hours of hard work on Amuten's part, mixed of course with sassy and innapropriate comments, and unending patience on Azriel's end. 

Strands of curling hair stuck to Amuten's light brown skin, and a small bead of sweat dripped down the side of her face. But she was grinning like she had just recieved a large box of her favourite chocolate. Azriel was happy too; the female's enthusiasm and determination was so, so contagious. With strong wings already, Amuten had been able to keep up very well. And he suspected that after only two or possibly one more lesson, she could be well on her way to being an amazing flier. Amuten huffed a breath of cool mountain air. "Man, I haven't worked like that in a while. I've become a slacker." She hummed as she stretched her wings before folding them up behind her. They say down on the pebbly lakeshore and stared out at the water. Azriel tossed a small stone into it, watching the water erupt upwards, then fall back down and rejoin the body of liquid, causing ripples that lapped at his boots. For a moment, the sun had lit the airborne water, and something about it made Azriel feel... well, he didn't know how to describe it. Quiet wonder? Shifting rocks drew his notice to the female sitting beside him. Amuten had changed into a cross-legged position and was eyeing the lake. Without looking at him, she asked, "Can you swim with wings?" Azriel blinked. He had not been expecting this. "Yes." His answer satisfied her, and she laid back to stare at the sky. Azriel turned his attention back to the water. ***** Dinner with the Inner Circle was quiet. Azriel was baffled. Mor seemed distant, Nesta and Cassian kept glancing at eachother and smiling like lovesick fools, Rhys was frowning, Feyre was frowning at Rhysand frowning, Amren was staring at nothing, and Elain seemed absorbed with her food. The silence made him uneasy, but he took another bite of stew instead of saying anything. "So, Az," Rhys started. Azriel's stomach dropped at the tone of voice. Another suspicious questioning. An unpleasant emotion started boiling in his gut. Couldn't he have his own life without being questioned? Rhys continued, "I haven't seen you all day. Where've you been?" Azriel set down his spoon, and shadows started snaking around him. He looked right into Rhysand's violet eyes with a challenge and said chillingly, "Out." The entire room went taut with shock at Azriel's response. Nesta and Cassian exchanged glances, Feyre frowned at him, Amren turned her silver eyes to him, Mor tilted her head, and Rhysand stared at him. Azriel did not turn away, even when Elain's fork clattered slightly as she set it down. Suddenly the image of water popped into Azriel's mind. Like that pebble, his one word had caused needlessly large ripples. He had no reason to be so confrontational. What did his feelings matter? It wasn't as if he really had a life to be questioned about. His family deserved better than this attitude. Better than him. So he swallowed his emotions, broke eye contact with Rhys and picked up his spoon. "I was out. With a... friend," he said quietly. The tension abated a bit, but remained uneasy. Nobody said anything else, and Azriel felt consumed with guilt. Why did he have to screw everything up? Rhys - his brother - had just been asking about his day. Why was he so on edge? The war was over, the Illyrians settled. Aside from some normal issues, it was peaceful. So peaceful, in fact, that he had heard from Nuala and Cerridwen that Rhys and Feyre had stopped taking tonics. Cauldron, he had some issues. He was so broken. It took a moment to realize that Azriel hadn't actually been eating his stew, just staring at it intently. So he choked down another mouthful, his shadows starting to cover him, and left. 

*****

Elain was sitting in Feyre's living room with her sisters, chatting like sisters do. There was still some tension between Nesta and Feyre, but they were working through it. And with Nesta's wedding, the three and Mor were very excited. Azriel refused to think that he was creeping. He was just... observing. Without their knowledge. Not creeping. His shadows allowed him to remain undetected as he... observed... from his corner. Elain's voice was full of happiness as she asked, "When should the wedding be?" "Well," Nesta said slowly. "Originally Cassian and I were just planning to be officially declared mated and then have a little party. Not like a huge human wedding." "Oh," said Elain at the same time Feyre said, "That makes sense." "But of course you'll be there," Nesta said quickly to her sisters. Azriel admired how much she was trying to mend the damaged relationship with them. They talked about Elain's gardens for a while, and then Feyre asked slyly, "Hasn't Az been helping you?" Elain blushed. Azriel grew uncomfortable in his shadows. Okay, maybe he was creeping. Just a little. But he was too curious to leave, even though he knew he should. "Well, yeah," Elain replied. "Sometimes he helps me. It - it doesn't mean anything though. He's just being nice." Azriel frowned. Was that what she thought? He watched carefully. Wow. Now he was in full on spy mode. Nesta and Feyre exchanged glances. "Sure," they said. "The spymaster of the High Lord of the Night Court helping you plant flowers doesn't mean anything." Elain blushed more. She was adorable when she blushed. Wait, what? Azriel wanted to growl in annoyance as his shadows seemed to chuckle at his thoughts. "It doesn't!" Elain protested. "I mean, he hasn't really even talked to me in a while. He seems so busy all the time." Her voice grew sad, and Azriel grew appalled. Did Elain think he didn't want to spend time with her? 

Well, you have been avoiding her. 

Real helpful. He repressed the urge to swat at his shadows. Feyre sighed. "Look, we all have our days. I do, Rhys does, you do. I'm sure Azriel will brood for a bit and then come to his senses and take you on a date." Elain went flushed profusely. So did Azriel. "A DATE?" She squealed. "We - I mean - He doesnt-" Even Nesta raised her sharp eyebrows. "Elain, he helps you plant flowers for Mother's sake. And don't think anybody misses the way you look at him during training. I'm honestly surprised you haven't jumped him yet." A violent shade of red covered both Elain and Azriel's faces. Nope, nope nope. He was leaving. Right now. Azriel winnowed away. But... A date. Ideas swam in his head.

*****

A date. With Elain. He fidgeted with the paper he had written ideas on. His shadows were nowhere to be seen at the moment. Did he even have a right to take her on a date? But she had seemed so crestfallen. It didn't even have to be real date. He could just take her out for some fun. They were friends, after all. Right? Azriel sighed and rubbed his face. A headache started to form, and he groaned at his muddled thoughts. Cauldron. He was a mess. In a sudden flare of frustrated anger, he shoved away from his desk with a growl. Standing, he stalked into his kitchen and grabbed the kettle, filled it with water and set it on the stove. Leaving it to boil, he opened a cupboard and grabbed a mug. After he set that down, he opened a another cupboard and rifled through a couple of different teas before settling on chamomile. The kettle started whisling, adding to his headache. He took it off and poured the steaming water into the mug, letting the tea steep as he looked for some honey. He added generous amounts of the sweet amber substance. Azriel took a cautious sip, letting the hot liquid sear his throat. He blew on it, then took another sip, still standing beside the counter. The chamomile soothed his headache, and the shadowsinger took a seat at his old, small table. He studied each mark, each nick in the dark wood, trying to remember how each one had gotten there. Nursing his tea, he thought back to when he had first acquired the apartment, and why. It had been centuries ago, not too long after Rhysand had become High Lord, the war ended. The Inner Circle had had a less than pleasant meeting, leaving Azriel much more upset than he let on. He had loathed the thought of returning to the House of Wind, and he craved privacy and solitude from his obnoxious brothers, and Mor. Mor. The female he had loved for countless years, and still did. Her name sent waves of sickening feelings through his gut. Azriel took a long draught of tea. So he had decided to buy himself a private residence, one that the others wouldn't know about. He subtly moved most of his possessions there, and had purchased some simple, minimalist furnishings. Including an adequate bed, a sturdy desk, a dresser, a chair, and this table. The shadowsinger thumbed one mark, a deep gouge. It had been left by Truth Teller. The night Rhysand had been trapped Under the Mountain by Amarantha. Azriel had needed to get away from Cassian and Mor and Amren, had needed to release his pain far from their prying, concerned eyes. In his rage and anguish, he had plunged the dagger into the center of the table. The dagger that was supposed to tell truths, to drag them in screams of agony out of those who wished to harm his Court, his family. It had failed him that night. The only night in over five hundred years. So he had almost destroyed the table with it. Other memories swam before his eyes, tied to other marks. A carved mark with remnants of stained blood led to images of a difficult night of torture. He had come home, hands slick with blood, still clutching Truth Teller tightly through the slippery liquid. He had leaned down, putting all his weight onto his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to calm his breathing. The dagger had accidentally scratched deeply through the wood. Azriel did not remember who or why he had tortured that night. Only how. He had sliced tendons, and broken bones. First crushing the foot, then snapping the fingers. Cutting open the back of the other ankle, stabbing just under the kneecap. Whoever it was would have crumpled had it not been for the chains suspending them. The spymaster swallowed, and drank more tea. A cluster of small nicks. That had been caused by idle boredom, at one point in time. Azriel was foggy on the details. Perhaps it had been long ago, maybe only months ago. After almost six centuries, memories tended to blur together, or be forgotten entirely. Dangerous for one who's job was gathering information. He sighed and set down his cup. Elain might like to go see a flower shop. There was one full of foreign plants down on Main Street. Weary beyond measure, Azriel divested himself of clothing and collapsed onto his bed. His groan was muffled by a pillow. Tomorrow would no doubt bring some new thing to make his life more miserable. 

*****

Azriel's joints cracked as he stretched sleepily. He twisted his torso and reached towards the ceiling. More bones creaked. He wondered if it was because he was old, or just the amount of abuse his body had endured over the years. Probably both, he thought grimly. His shadows swirled around him, chipper and full of information. Their whispers filled his mind. An emerald bracelet has been returned to its place, the shop on 3rd street.

The High Lord plans to visit the Court of Nightmares soon, in a few days.

Cassian and Nesta are already up at the House of Wind training, at least thats what they had planned - they're up to something else now.

Lucien is almost finished with Jurian and Vassa, and plans to visit the Spring Court before coming to Velaris.

Feyre and Rhysand are still sleeping. 

The Tiny Ancient One is also sleeping.

Elain is awake, and anticipating your presence for breakfast at the High Lady's mansion.

Azriel silently took it all in, going through his daily morning routine. Casual attire, or leathers? What were his plans for the day? Ask the flower-grower on a date. His shadows danced around him. Seek information on the emerald bracelet. Leather first, and then he could change. If Elain said yes. 

*****

Anxiety pricked at Azriel as he struggled to keep steady while eating his breakfast of oatmeal and brown sugar. Would she say yes? What if she said no? He wouldn't blame her, of course. But it would still hurt. The shadows animated his nervousness by scittering around at his feet, behind his back, at his shoulders. He snuck a glance at the source of his anxiety. Elain sat, honey coloured hair cascading down her shoulders, in a sapphire blue gown. She ate sliced fruit, and he couldn't help but stare as a strawberry disappeared between full, pink lips. Azriel shook himself internally. Get a hold of yourself. He took another bite of milky porridge. Friendly chatter filled the room, so different from last night.

"Any plans today, Az?" Cassian asked casually.

Azriel nodded. "I must find out more about the emerald bracelet that was returned to its spot last night." And ask Elain out on a date. "We could train later, if you want." Cass grinned. Raising an eyebrow, Azriel replied smoothly, "The same way you and Nesta trained this morning?" His brother choked, and Nesta looked outraged. Rhys snickered with Feyre, Amren rolled her eyes and Mor laughed outright. She had a wonderful laugh. Elain just looked confused. Nesta glared at him, but said nothing. Breakfast resumed.

*****

The emerald bracelet was a dead end.

Azriel groaned when he reached his apartment to change. He still had to see Elain. All day, apprehension had brewed with excitement. Now it was reaching a peak as he landed in the gardens, where he knew the female was tending to her flowers. She looked up as he landed, smiling at him. His breath hitched. She was exquisite, soft and warm. "Hi, Azriel." "Hello Elain." "Can I help you?" No. Yes. Azriel took a steadying breath. Here it was. "I was wondering... Would you like to into town tomorrow? There's a fascinating flower shop down on..." He trailed off, unsure what her expression meant. Her eyes were wide, and pink dusted her cheeks; her lips were slightly parted. "Elain?" Azriel asked, worried. Had this been a mistake? "Yes!" She exclaimed, then cleared her throat. "I mean, I would love to." The smile she gave him melted his heart into a puddle. What was this female doing to him? Mor used to give him this feeling. Used to. He smiled back. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

*****

There was a note in his office. I leave for the Court of Nightmares soon. I'd appreciate your presence. -Rhys Azriel's shadows crept around him, the black smoke thickening. Their voices grew cold and they hissed into his mind. Darkness. Evil. Destruction. Agony. Azriel really, really hated the Court of Nightmares.  

*****

thnx for your patience. and also im excited to destroy everyones happiness in the coming chapters. you think elriels gonna happen that easy? hahahahahhahaa. also the court of nightmares is gonna be fuuuuun. also im sorry for the poor editing and if i forgot to tag you. the different format is because im writing on something else and then copy and pasting .

Smiles, Holly ;)

@rosehallshadowsinger @rhysanoodle   @julesherondalex    @marnz  @illyrianbastards  @laurannasbooks  @acourtofbrainstormingandideas @samaracuda12345

[ethanalter]

Kristen Stewart on how she turned a fixation into her directing debut and whether she'd ever helm a 'Twilight'-style blockbuster

Stewart on the Come Swim set (Photo: Lindsey Byrnes/courtesy Everett Collection)

As a child actress growing up on the sets for films like Panic Room and Catch That Kid, Kristen Stewart learned early on to pay close attention to the director behind the camera. “That’s your boss,” she tells Yahoo Entertainment about her earliest memories of watching filmmakers at work. “You look to that person for everything. When a movie is really good, it takes a lot of people’s efforts. But what starts it is something so singular with a specific perspective. Even when I was really little, I knew that my job was to listen to that [perspective] and hold it like it was precious. And even as a little kid, I was like, ‘F**k, I’d like to hold that myself one day and share it!'”

Flash-forward to the present day, and the now 27-year-old actress is sharing her own directorial debut with the world, the evocative short film, Come Swim. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in January, the 17-minute production is being released today as part of Refinery 29’s Shatterbox Anthology, which provides a platform to emerging female filmmakers. Starring first-time actor, Josh Kaye, Come Swim grew out of a recurring image that embedded itself in Stewart’s mind several years ago and became the linchpin for a half-realist, half-impressionist portrait of a man whose mind is plagued by memories of a failed love affair, to the point where he feels like he’s drowning even on dry land. We spoke with Stewart about how she relates to the character we see onscreen and whether she has any desire to direct a Twilight-style blockbuster.

Yahoo Entertainment: You’ve said that the idea for Come Swim originated with the image of a man sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. Where did the vision come from? Kristen Stewart: Initially, I was just fixated on the idea of a person that’s so over-aware of what’s essential to them — what they’re really in need of — but are unable to absorb it. So even at the bottom of the ocean, the most ultra-hydrated place in the world, they’re dry. When you’re in your own head, your pain and struggle seems so dramatic and unrelatable. And yet, it’s so universal! There’s any any feeling that somebody hasn’t before you. Once you’re in it, it feels all-consuming, but when you step back, you go, “What the f**k have I been doing?”

For me, the film tapped into that feeling of being mentally underwater: there’s so much buzzing around in your head, and you’re just in need of a moment of clarity. Exactly. He’s punishing himself with memories and can’t really organize them. He can’t put them somewhere easy to process. I wanted to externalize a very internal sound. When he starts out, he feels things are whizzing by him, and he can’t grab them, but they also won’t go away. It’s about waking up in the morning and going, “Wow, I’m allowed to use my mind! It’s not controlling me.” When you’re in that state, easy things seem hard.

Is there something about the modern world that exacerbates that? You place the character in settings like a busy office and the front seat of his car, where there’s a lot of stimuli. I wanted to put him in places that were normal; stripped-down environments without much detail. We don’t have much time to get to know this guy really well, so what I wanted you to focus on was your own projections of doing mundane things like getting up and going to work. But he is always cubed in: his office cubicle is small, the car is small. It’s only once he gets outside and finds the ocean that he allows himself to breath. His regrets about his relationship that have sent him into this existential crisis, and even though he hates swimming and water, he realizes he’s got to let himself float. Water is stronger than us, and if you fight it, you’re just going to f**king tire and drown. But if he lets himself look like a dork and bob around in the water, when he gets out he’ll be cold, but he’ll also realize that he’s not going to have to try and control everything.

Josh Kaye in Kristen Stewart’s directorial debut, Come Swim (Photo: John Guleserian/Courtesy of Sundance Institute)

The character’s circumstances are intended to be universal, but in working with Josh Kaye did you discover that men and women have different responses to this kind of mental state? I think there are big differences between him and I, but more on an individual level. It doesn’t really have much to do with gender necessarily. The character in the story isn’t necessarily me, but I wanted to be as close to it as I could. The main difference between us is that I’m a little bit more explosive. There are a few things in the film that I’m so excited I didn’t do myself, because he grins and bears it whereas I think I would be a little more dramatic. He’s never acted in anything before, so he wasn’t trying to prove anything to me. He was just realistically in this environment, and allowed whatever memories or ideas to stir him.

You incorporated paintings you made into the film via a process called “neural style transfer” as opposed to traditional CGI. Was that at process you had a hand in developing? No, I have a friend who works at a VFX house and she was familiar with Bhautik Joshi’s research. I spoke with her about my painting and how I wanted it to feel illustrated in the film; I wanted parts of the movie to feel like a painting. I was talking a lot about grain and how to do that, and she told me about this guy who could take a physical painting and apply that style to a moving picture. So he helped us out, but I think it was something he came up with and when the movie came out it was a good chance for him to talk about that process. I was lucky to be able to do it and take those two mediums and put them together. [Stewart is listed as a co-author of an academic paper about neural style transfer that’s on file with Cornell University.]

Stewart in Snow White and the Huntsman (Photo: Universal Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection)

Has working on big-budget movies like Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman made you leery of incorporating CGI into your own films? Not at all. Initially, I thought I was going to need a lot of digital work on Come Swim. I had this long list of shots, but after we went out and shot everything I kept crossing them off my list during post-production, going “I don’t need that one, I don’t need that one.” We did minimal digital work, because everything we did physically was so cool. All of the make-up work on Josh was practical and worked. I really like it when you only have to use a small amount [of CGI] to patch things up and refine them. If you can get as much as you can while taking f**king pictures, that’s what looks the most immersive.

Would you ever want to do direct a tentpole film yourself or does that not hold any interest for you? Maybe, because I do like to suspend reality; not in a way that’s fantasy, but to get inside someone’s head and really feel embedded in something internal. Because a lot of times it doesn’t resemble what you’re seeing on the outside. So I think I’ll want to make small movies; I have no interest in making huge movies, although I like working on them as an actor.

One of your earliest movies was Panic Room, directed by David Fincher. Do you recall observing any part of his process on set that you held onto for your own work? That was the second movie I ever made. I was lucky to have that experience so young because it was so labor-intensive and for all the right reasons. I always want to be in movies where if you have to work tirelessly and endlessly, and if it has to hurt and you have to do it over and over again, you get something that really matters at any cost. That’s what you do — you just do f**king anything to get it. That [feeling] probably started on that movie.

Stewart and Jodie Foster in Panic Room (Photo: Merrick Morton/courtesy Everett Collection)

It certainly feels like the fans that have grown up with you through the Twilight films are embracing the work you’re doing now. Are you conscious of how they’re seeing you evolve as an artist, and do you hope they take any lessons from you as the develop their own creative voices? Yeah, of course. No one is so special as to have any kind of original thought or feeling that nobody’s had before you. But I really do follow my gut as to the things I’m drawn to artistically and hope that there will be someone out there that feels it too. For that, I’m lucky. I don’t think about the greater narrative [of my life] or alter my decisions to say things to people. But I feel that if you’re really honest about something and are exploring something that feels worth it, there will be other people interested in it, too.

Come Swim is available to watch today on Refinery29.

Watch the trailer:

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

‘November Criminals’: Ansel Elgort and Chloë Grace Moretz share a sweet moment in exclusive clip

‘The Greatest Showman’: Check out exclusive character posters from Hugh Jackman’s new musical

‘Thor: Ragnarok’: Your mighty guide to all the Easter eggs, in-jokes, and callbacks

[buddaimond]

by Ethan Alter. November 10, 2017

As a child actress growing up on the sets for films like Panic Room and Catch That Kid, Kristen Stewart learned early on to pay close attention to the director behind the camera. “That’s your boss,” she tells Yahoo Entertainment about her earliest memories of watching filmmakers at work. “You look to that person for everything. When a movie is really good, it takes a lot of people’s efforts. But what starts it is something so singular with a specific perspective. Even when I was really little, I knew that my job was to listen to that [perspective] and hold it like it was precious. And even as a little kid, I was like, ‘F**k, I’d like to hold that myself one day and share it!'”

Flash-forward to the present day, and the now 27-year-old actress is sharing her own directorial debut with the world, the evocative short film Come Swim. After premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in January, the 17-minute production is being released today as part of Refinery 29’s Shatterbox Anthology, which provides a platform to emerging female filmmakers. Starring first-time actor Josh Kaye, Come Swim grew out of a recurring image that embedded itself in Stewart’s mind several years ago and became the linchpin for a half-realist, half-impressionist portrait of a man whose mind is plagued by memories of a failed love affair, to the point where he feels like he’s drowning even on dry land. We spoke with Stewart about how she relates to the character we see onscreen and whether she has any desire to direct a Twilight-style blockbuster.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Q&A with Kristen:

Yahoo Entertainment: You’ve said that the idea for Come Swim originated with the image of a man sleeping at the bottom of the ocean. Where did the vision come from?

Kristen Stewart: Initially, I was just fixated on the idea of a person that’s so over-aware of what’s essential to them — what they’re really in need of — but are unable to absorb it. So even at the bottom of the ocean, the most ultrahydrated place in the world, they’re dry. When you’re in your own head, your pain and struggle seems so dramatic and unrelatable. And yet it’s so universal! There isn’t any feeling that somebody hasn’t had before you. Once you’re in it, it feels all-consuming, but when you step back, you go, “What the f**k have I been doing?”

For me, the film tapped into that feeling of being mentally underwater: There’s so much buzzing around in your head, and you’re just in need of a moment of clarity.

Exactly. He’s punishing himself with memories and can’t really organize them. He can’t put them somewhere easy to process. I wanted to externalize a very internal sound. When he starts out, he feels things are whizzing by him, and he can’t grab them, but they also won’t go away. It’s about waking up in the morning and going, “Wow, I’m allowed to use my mind! It’s not controlling me.” When you’re in that state, easy things seem hard.

Is there something about the modern world that exacerbates that? You place the character in settings like a busy office and the front seat of his car, where there’s a lot of stimuli.

I wanted to put him in places that were normal — stripped-down environments without much detail. We don’t have much time to get to know this guy really well, so what I wanted you to focus on was your own projections of doing mundane things like getting up and going to work. But he is always cubed in: his office cubicle is small, the car is small. It’s only once he gets outside and finds the ocean that he allows himself to breathe. He has regrets about his relationship that have sent him into this existential crisis, and even though he hates swimming and water, he realizes he’s got to let himself float. Water is stronger than us, and if you fight it, you’re just going to f**king tire and drown. But if he lets himself look like a dork and bob around in the water, when he gets out he’ll be cold, but he’ll also realize that he’s not going to have to try and control everything.

The character’s circumstances are intended to be universal, but in working with Josh Kaye did you discover that men and women have different responses to this kind of mental state?

I think there are big differences between him and I, but more on an individual level. It doesn’t really have much to do with gender necessarily. The character in the story isn’t necessarily me, but I wanted to be as close to it as I could. The main difference between us is that I’m a little bit more explosive. There are a few things in the film that I’m so excited I didn’t do myself, because he grins and bears it whereas I think I would be a little more dramatic. He’s never acted in anything before, so he wasn’t trying to prove anything to me. He was just realistically in this environment and allowed whatever memories or ideas to stir him.

You incorporated paintings you made into the film via a process called “neural style transfer” as opposed to traditional CGI. Was that a process you had a hand in developing?

No, I have a friend who works at a VFX house and she was familiar with Bhautik Joshi’s research. I spoke with her about my painting and how I wanted it to feel illustrated in the film; I wanted parts of the movie to feel like a painting. I was talking a lot about grain and how to do that, and she told me about this guy who could take a physical painting and apply that style to a moving picture. So he helped us out, but I think it was something he came up with, and when the movie came out it was a good chance for him to talk about that process. I was lucky to be able to do it and take those two mediums and put them together. [Stewart is listed as a co-author of an academic paper about neural style transfer that’s on file with Cornell University.]

Has working on big-budget movies like Twilight and Snow White and the Huntsman made you leery of incorporating CGI into your own films?

Not at all. Initially, I thought I was going to need a lot of digital work on Come Swim. I had this long list of shots, but after we went out and shot everything I kept crossing them off my list during post-production, going “I don’t need that one, I don’t need that one.” We did minimal digital work, because everything we did physically was so cool. All of the makeup work on Josh was practical and worked. I really like it when you only have to use a small amount [of CGI] to patch things up and refine them. If you can get as much as you can while taking f**king pictures, that’s what looks the most immersive.

Would you ever want to direct a tentpole film yourself or does that not hold any interest for you?

Maybe, because I do like to suspend reality — not in a way that’s fantasy, but to get inside someone’s head and really feel embedded in something internal. Because a lot of times it doesn’t resemble what you’re seeing on the outside. So I think I’ll want to make small movies; I have no interest in making huge movies, although I like working on them as an actor.

One of your earliest movies was Panic Room, directed by David Fincher. Do you recall observing any part of his process on set that you held onto for your own work?

That was the second movie I ever made. I was lucky to have that experience so young because it was so labor-intensive and for all the right reasons. I always want to be in movies where if you have to work tirelessly and endlessly, and if it has to hurt and you have to do it over and over again, you get something that really matters at any cost. That’s what you do — you just do f**king anything to get it. That [feeling] probably started on that movie.

It certainly feels like the fans that have grown up with you through the Twilight films are embracing the work you’re doing now. Are you conscious of how they’re seeing you evolve as an artist, and do you hope they take any lessons from you as the develop their own creative voices?

Yeah, of course. No one is so special as to have any kind of original thought or feeling that nobody’s had before you. But I really do follow my gut as to the things I’m drawn to artistically and hope that there will be someone out there that feels it too. For that, I’m lucky. I don’t think about the greater narrative [of my life] or alter my decisions to say things to people. But I feel that if you’re really honest about something and are exploring something that feels worth it, there will be other people interested in it too.

Come Swim | Shatterbox Anthology | Refinery29