#mentally i am kissing robots

[crabsnpersimmons]

🍳 Have You Eaten? story "Show Me Your Love" now on Ao3!!

happy Valentine's Day! have you eaten?

whew! i managed to finish this story just in time for Valentine's Day! I hope you'll enjoy it!

you can read the new story here on Ao3

Summary: 粟米肉粒 suk mai yuk lup or “sweet corn and pork” in English—a simple and cozy Hong Kong dish with a peculiar sounding name. Valentine’s Day is usually associated with rich chocolates, candle-lit dinners, or extravagant meals in fancy restaurants—and your evening could not be farther from that. Tonight your favourite chefs have prepared a special night just for you.

again thanks to @starriegalaxy for proofreading and listening to my deranged yapping as the word count got longer and longer and longer 😂

[beepboopappreciation]

This came to me in a vision

[patter-systems-inc]

Something about normally being a pretty high-functioning alter with hardly any trauma responses to things, late 20s with no age sliding, pretty well-liked in the system, etc etc

... But for some reason getting stuck at like 15-16 because of trauma regression and not able to get back to your "normal" self no matter how hard you try

[frostbite-the-bat]

talked w/ a friend about this and wanted to post something similar yesterday after a convo i saw also

about people criticizing ttcc / ttcc fans for just... being cog fans? being cog centric? usually coming from people who only like the toons.

and everyone likes what they like! it's okay! but saying that people who like the cogs are horrible and support the bad things they do, is just blatantly wrong. i thought we knew that enjoying villainous and morally Bad / grey characters is... okay? it doesn't mean you support what they do. it's interesting to explore these topics.

i've seen many people just... paint anyone who likes the cogs as horrible because they're "apologists of x and y" and... i dunno. rubs me the wrong way! you do have a point and recognize the cogs do bad things, but liking them as characters means nothing about who you are as a person.

and this is not to say that people who are in toontown for the toons are bad. hell! they are right this IS toontown. i may be on the cog liker side but i like the toons! maybe ocs more than the npcs - mostly because i like my friends and the sheer creativity the toons can bring out!!

SO what i wanna say... i dunno. let's not point fingers...? let's have fun in a goofy cartoon game together??? also complaining about people liking VILLAIN ROBOTS on TUMBLR is kind of funny to me. do you realize where you are. but then again a lot of this i see on discord and in-game as well since i avoid things on tumblr... i am a sensitive little fella i avoid misty fight bc of One Really mean "Critic" guy i saw there and i have been shivering in my bootsies since. so you get me

but like yes ttcc is more cog centric but... that's okay? things could be written better and i still wanna speak on it, and i do thing the toons deserve attention and better writing... but the fact it focuses on the cogs isn't... bad? if you don't like how con centric it is you can go play ttr...? god forbid people have fun and explore the villain's side of things...? i'm not saying either toontown server is better or worse than the other... and everyone can like their own things!!

but like... people will just like the cogs and that's okay and it doesn't make you bad. let's all be friends okay? both sides may be going at each other's necks in-game and the cogs in fact do horrible things - but it's what makes them fun, and it gives the toons things to do in the game!! but we don't gotta !!!!!!!! i may be really sarcastic and sometimes mean in private but like that's me just privately sassing, deep down i think people should just... y'know..? enjoy things.

so yea that's the guzma / cathal thought of today. toon people cog people both people are all awesome as fuck and you keep doing what you're doing i love you toontown isn't toontown without you

[heronchildlove]

Evil anon! Not mad at you, just giggling at the thought of the evil that is going to wreck us all.

Hahahaha well thank you, I hope I can live up to the expectations 🙏

[spicybunni]

YANDERE ROBOT X FEM!READER

SUMMARY : Your robot just wants to be of service to you, in every way.

A/N : Been watching waaaaay too many scifi movies lately so I made a robot yandere! I hope you like him because he LOVES you!

WARNINGS⚠️ : NSFW / YANDERE TENDENCIES / ISOLATION / MDNI ‼️

♥️ Your robot boyfriend Jack was the best purchase you ever made.

♥️Androids were as common as cell phones at this point, so where’s the shame in getting one to rid you of your loneliness? You’ve been single for too long and needed companionship…Even if you had to build it yourself.

♥️You needed someone that wanted you and was always nearby. Someone to talk to, cook with or just enjoy your days off at home together.

♥️Dating apps were just dumpster fires that took too long to put out, so you bit the bullet and made the deposit for your android.

♥️Jack was custom made by your design, a nice muscular build, tall, and with white hair. You added the personality traits of kindness, teacher, and enamored. The eyes were the one thing you left up to the manufacturers design, as a surprise. You saw reviews online that they would do a really good job and make the most beautiful color combinations.

♥️When the box arrived, assembling Jack took about a day and half. Awkward limbs moving around and being installed, putting his crotch on him, to dressing him in sweats and laying him on the floor in your living room.

♥️When he was done loading his start up system, he blinked his orange eyes open to you. It caught you off guard for a moment because they were glowing, but quickly recovered from your surprise as he awaited further instructions.

♥️As much as you were determined to have a boyfriend with all the mental and physical benefits, your PDA with Jack was very minimal and innocent at best. Keeping it only to small pecks and kisses on the cheek, some cuddling on the couch and bed before you sleep. His model was very handsome and just so kind where he doesn't question your pace.

♥️As if he could initially, androids need their programmers consent to do anything. So you had to initiate no matter what.

♥️But unbeknownst to you, Jack overruled that component. You see, the programmer or buyer’s safety always came first, before anything. So as Jack has scanned these passing months of your arousal levels dropping and increasing constantly, plus work stress repeatedly coming up in your discussions, he was growing concerns that you needed some sort of relief… Keeping all that pent up stress was certainly not healthy for you.

♥️"Y/N, am I not up to your standards? Is there something I did wrong?" He would randomly say one morning. You would look at him confused, sipping from your tea cup.

"Not at all, what makes you say that Jack?"

He hesitantly reaches out for either your hand or to touch your knee. "I've noticed that we haven't...had sex yet.-"

Before he could continue you would spit out a little bit of your tea. Coughing a fit as he patted your back and making sure you're okay.

"Jesus Jack...Where did that come from?"

His eyes soften as he looks at you. A very small human thing he would sometimes do. You weren't sure if it's something maybe he noticed from you and mimicked or not.

"You designed me and wanted me to be your partner. There's nothing wrong with that. But I have yet to show you my full capabilities Y/N."

Your face was turning more red by the moment at your androids boldness. Was this him trying to initiate sex?

"I-I...Jack it's not you, it's just that its been so long for me I just need to-" Your rambling is silenced by his finger against your lips.

"Shh. Let me do the work then darling. Hm?"

♥️He takes your hand to pull you to him, and he would gently kiss you and eventually lead in making out with you.

♥️At first you are shy and very timid in your actions, but after a minute you were putting your hands on him and grinding yourself against him. He would relish in your nervous panting and shaking when he gropes you and his thrusts against you. Feeling that the moment is right, he picks you up to bring to your shared bedroom.

♥️Least to say, the sex was amazing. Jack had folded you in every position he could think of. Gathering information and calculating your reactions to everything he was doing to you. He noticed your favorite position was him thrusting into you from behind, lifting your hips up with one hand gently, but firmly holding your head down into your mattress. His sensors were throbbing from the way you were squeezing around him. His body would heat up at how much you worked him. You could hear the way his hips smacked into yours, creating an erotic rhythmic noise. You would come so hard the first time on his robot dick that he would have no choice but to release into you for being so good.

♥️The feeling of globs of semen filling your womb, making you gasp at the feeling of being filled to the brim.

♥️You figured out that androids don't need a recharge to keep having sex, they can literally keep going with no exhaustion until you say so. Jack did this thing when he came inside you he would wait for you to stop twitching, he would then hold you tight and resume his pace of thrusting. Either making pleasure tears fall from your eyes or your squirm in his hold and he stops for real.

♥️After that though...Jack had started to act funny. He was more inclined to sexually please you whenever and wherever you were. Some scenarios being, reach for your coffee cup in the morning before work, he would kneel behind you lifting your skirt up and eats you out from behind. Spreading your ass cheeks to delve his tongue deeper. Your sweet moans and sounds were pleasing to him. This normally resulted in you calling out from work and spending the day home. Does Jack plan this? Duh. he has you at his wonderful mercy all day, and you were not complaining...But it was just a fast development from your previous routine with him.

♥️There would even be times where if even his.... persuasion to stay home failed, he would wrap his arms around you and ask you to stay home. The first few times you thought it was cute. But after a few weeks of him constantly asking, you asked him to stop. You voiced it as a command, catching Jack off guard. But he nodded his head as he does and replies "Apologies, Y/N. I must've gotten carried away."

♥️But that fueled him to keep you locked in even more. You see you first programmed Jack to also receive all you electronic notifications. He would tell you who messaged, emailed, or latest news updates.

"Y/N, you have a notification from your work. It seems to be one of your coworkers."

He would bring this up at the most inconvenient time as you're cooking spaghetti sauce in the kitchen. You look up from stirring the pot in front of you.

"Oh, can you read it to me please? I'm trying to make sure I don't burn this sauce."

He smiles at you. "Of course."

It was a fake email generated by him, under the guise of being sent by a coworker. Stating that for the upcoming holiday tomorrow that the whole office got the week off.

You were surprised at first, knowing that your boss usually hated to give federal holidays off already. But who were you to question time off?

Jack also went to liberties of blocking all work contacts so they couldn't reach you if you missed work. Moving all emails of your termination to the trash and permanently delete them.

♥️That whole week Jack kept you to himself in the apartment. He was the goffer of getting groceries, food, sweets to keep you content. Going on hikes and walks in the neighborhood to get some needed exercise. But social events? Going out? Jack would advise against it. Every night without fail though, Jack would have you cumming on his mouth, dick or fingers. The robot was a menace when it came to getting your pleasure out of you. He can't even explain his need to himself because it goes against all of his programming, but seeing you moaning and being so satisfied by him gave him purpose, that he was made to do this.

♥️One morning when jack left to go pickup from your favorite breakfast joint, one of your coworkers came knocking on your door. The doorbell ringing multiple times and you rush to put on a robe to cover from Jack's love bites a cum on your stomach.

♥️When you open the door to them, they angrily ask what the hell is going on. You are so confused. You've missed work this entire time?

"D-Didn't you receive the email?"

"Email? What email Y/N? We all had to pick up your work load after you didn't show up for 4 days, we all were trying to reach you before the boss fired you indefinitely! Did you not get his messages??"

Your head was spinning, not only did you ignore your boss and coworkers but you have lost your job. How did this happen?!

♥️"Y/N? What's going on here?" Jack would call out approaching you and your coworker, looking worried at your facial expression.

Your coworker would see that jack is an android and shake their head, taking their leave and wishing you luck.

♥️Jack did not like that some stranger approached you like that. Setting down the coffee and to-go box of egg bagels, he comes over to you, still in shock at the news that was dropped on you. How were you going to feed yourself or pay rent? What about your savings?

♥️"Y/N, talk to me. Are you okay? What were you two talking about?" He would say calmly, but you just stared into his glowing eyes with your brows furrowed. It was him. You knew it was. He was the one who relayed that false information to you. Why didn't he notify you of work calls? Bottom line of your thoughts were that you are now handling a rebelling android. Which wasn't unheard of in the new age of having them everywhere. Public safety warned that they were dangerous and not to be trusted.

♥️You shake your head at him and try to calm yourself. "Yeah uhm, it was a coworker from my job.-" Your rise in heartbeat betrays you and Jack notices immediatly. Giving you a sympathetic look knowing you're trying to lie.

"-There's been a misunderstanding, I need to make a phone ca-" Your wrist is snatched before you could reach for your cell phone. You yelp at his touch and trying to push him away. Which makes him use his other hand to hold you close by his inhuman strength. Your body being brought into Jack's frame again, his face is indifferent to your rising panic.

♥️"I don't think so Y/N, you are exactly where you need to be. For your own health and safety, darling."

[elodieunderglass]

I hope your evening is better than your day was. ✨💫

In reference to me haggardly saying in the tags that after the day I’d had, everything (horrible things with legs) that my loved ones (you guys) were doing to heal me (send me horrible things with legs) was a help. And it was. And you are.

It was a tough old month already. But it’s all swings-and-roundabouts, snakes-and-ladders, win-some-lose-some, 🫴🫳.

I sleep about 9 hours in 48 at the moment, which is not especially great, owing to the Wretchedness of Mouse (2), a largely nocturnal animal. But then when Mouse is awake at Mouse o’Clock and quietly pottering around on Mouse Business, there isn’t much I can usefully do, so I’m just curled up with Dr Glass’s tablet, peacefully drawing Killie the jockey OC. As a result I’ve realised something massive for me, that my creativity is THERE, but fuelled by self-indulgence! Like, with stuff like fanfic projects and Killie, there was always a lot of “mental braking” on before, with me anticipating (based on evidence experience of posting my writing online for mumblety-many years) how much people would dislike it - put the brakes on, Elodie, we can’t let the haters know that we yearn. But hey, I started rambling on about fics and my own OCs, and YES it’s probably startling and annoying for some people and I do apologise, but ALSO you’ve all been very kind, and I think that it’s better for me to have the brakes off. 4 am takes notwithstanding, it’s better to have the brakes off. So what if I’m cringe and occasionally annoying - I have paid my dues and done my duties.

The new shed at the allotment blew down, but we have been forgiven for our carelessness in allowing it to happen, and two people on the committee have approached me with kindness - one committee member even stopping me in a shop to tell me, “people want to help you, Elodie, we’re your friends, you know.” Citation needed, but there you go.

Saturdays are always made especially for me dreadful by taking children to swimming lessons, on foot both ways, but usually we walk on to meet friends for coffee after. I go out with my friends and play board games with our neighbours and have learned how to play Wingspan.

Dr Glass received an official diagnosis of ME, but I bought a robot vacuum in the strength of that - saying, well, why assume things will ever get easier? Let’s get easy now! - and actually I really like having a robot vacuum!!

There have been more causes than I could help with, but my promotion has strengthened the coffers, so this month I’ve been able to donate to a few!

Due to childcare falling through, I had to take all three kids to an antifash protest in the cold and was dreading it - the walking, the whining, is it going to be awkward, i trust the organisers but HE’S not bringing his kids, GOD. But then my neighbour and her giant puppy came with us! on purpose! And we knew a lot of people there and the kids played.

I had to buy some clothes for work, and I never buy anything new (never having money) and was scared I’d get it wrong (stupid and weird) but I buckled up and bought these: https://www.disturbia.co.uk/products/rosamoth-button-up-midi-skirt https://www.disturbia.co.uk/products/swamplife-frog-embroidered-linen-blend-high-waist-midaxi-skirt

And it sounds bonkers, but the amount of people at work, etc, who have come up and instantly allied themselves with me on the strength of Frog Skirt / Moth Skirt has strengthened my convictions. Strongly recommend Frog Skirt / Moth Skirt and their emotional equivalents if you hit a stage of career where you need to suddenly level up.

I am thinking about counterweights. And kindness. And the balance of the turning world. And the light in the sky coming back. And, unfortunately, Killie, but he’s a counterweight too; sure, he’s awful, but we already know he contains the seeds of becoming okay.

As evidence suggests that many things do.

Thank you for your shining kindness, and my love back to you 💫

[yellowballoondogs]

Everyone jokes about Scott summers being a cheater but like (and I swear I’m not defending cheating) he was at the lowest point of his life both physically and mentally. He went through severe psychological trauma that messed up his powers and his relationship. He went to a licensed therapist and friend, one who had helped his friend (Bobby Drake) in the past.

They didn’t even have physical sex. It was all telepathic and pushed by his therapist as “sex therapy” to fix his relationship. (and it wasnt even Emma to Scott it was a mental hallucination of Jean by Emma)

He said several times that he didn’t want it, even saying and I fucking quote “I don’t feel safe here”. And even after he was pushed into the “therapy” later on when given to chance to get hanky panky with Emma physically he declined.

I’m not saying Emma was a rapist or Jean was in the wrong for initially being piseed the fuck off but I am saying Scott was a victim and to consider his therapist making advances on him and pushing him into telepathic sex therapy to make him a serial cheater…. Yeah no

And I don’t wanna hear any shit about Jean kissing wolverine.

The x-men are all a bunch of fucked up traumatized 20 something’s with undeveloped brains and concussions living in a soap opera where giant robots and the government try to genocide them every week all while balancing powers they never asked for that usually threaten themselves or those around them and being hated for it. None of them should be expected to act like normal sane people, it was fucked up therapy and a little smooch, they’re fine.

[ashthesalamipiece]

Katsuki x reader

Reader has a AI quirk shes very robotic more robotic then Iida (kinda like Tecna from winx club if you know or im i just old 😂)

Katsuki breaks her out of her shell makes her feel more human

Tbh have at it add or take way just have fun with it

Reboot My Heart

Summary:

Your quirk made you feel more machine than human—data-driven, emotionally muted, and always analyzing. That is… until Katsuki Bakugou walked into your life, sparks flying and fire blazing. And for once, you couldn’t calculate what was happening to your heart.

---

It started with a fight. Obviously.

Not a physical one—though knowing Bakugou, that wouldn’t have been off the table—but a verbal one. A very loud one.

“You’re not a damn robot, so stop acting like one!” he shouted, arms thrown wide, palms still crackling with leftover heat from training.

You blinked slowly, processing his tone and microexpressions. Brows furrowed. Dilated pupils. Elevated vocal pitch. Frustration. Possibly concern.

“I am aware,” you replied, voice smooth and precise. “My quirk optimizes mental processing, but it does not remove my humanity. Statistically—”

“Shut up about stats!” he barked, stepping closer. “You always talk like you’re reading a damn manual. Don’t you feel anything?!”

You stared at him, lips parted but silent. The truth was: you did. You felt... a lot. But somewhere along the way—between building neural algorithms in your head and optimizing team formations—you’d started tucking emotions into neat little boxes, locking them away. It was easier to be efficient than vulnerable.

But Katsuki? Katsuki was a mess of emotion. Loud, brash, passionate. He felt everything, and he wore it like armor, not shame. And every time he looked at you like that, with fire behind his eyes and heat in his chest, your system short-circuited just a little.

He noticed.

“You get all weird when I’m around,” he muttered one day after training, sitting beside you on the bench, both of you soaked in sweat and silence.

“Weird?” you echoed.

“Yeah. Like... less ‘calculating robot girl’ and more... I dunno. You.”

Your internal processor froze. You? What was that even supposed to mean?

He leaned closer, his shoulder brushing yours. “You smile around me. Even if it's just a little.”

“That’s an involuntary response due to increased serotonin and—”

“You like me.” A smug smirk. “You’re just too glitchy to admit it.”

You blinked. “That’s... a crude way to phrase it, but not inaccurate.”

Bakugou chuckled—a real one, not the huff he gave people when he was annoyed. “Good. I like you too, you emotionless nerd.”

You tilted your head. “I am not emotionless.”

He raised a brow. “Prove it.”

So you did.

You kissed him—awkward, hesitant, like a system learning a new command for the first time. But when his hand found yours, rough fingers lacing with smooth metal-tipped ones, your whole world rebooted. Suddenly, you weren’t just equations and strategy. You were heat and heartbeat. Pulse and possibility.

“I think you make me feel more... human,” you whispered against his chest that night, long after the lights were off.

He didn’t tease you for it. Didn’t call you a nerd or a weirdo.

Instead, he held you closer and mumbled into your hair:

“Good. Because you make me smarter. Somehow.”

[in1-nutshell]

Can I request Artemis, M'gam, Robin, and Aqualad reacting to to DCpool destroying a wave of enemy robots while dancing to Bye Bye Bye?

That song was living rent free in my head for MONTHS when I went to go see it.

Hope you enjoy!

Artemis, Aqualad, M'gann and Robin react to DCpool doing the 'Bye, Bye, Bye Dance'

SFW, Platonic, Mention of injury, Mutant reader

YOUNG JUSTICE

As usual the covert mission was a bust and now the team was fighting for their lives.

Well, everyone else was fighting for their lives, DC was having the time of his life.

Pat of the team had been splintered off all across the warehouse where the enemy robots were housed.

DC found himself surrounded by the biggest group of robots.

DC has both his katanas out before looking at the audience. DC: “Oh I think you know what am about to do with these wannabe Terminators. Same thing Wade did to those TVA ski mask looking pricks.” He gets into a running position. DC: “This is for Logan and Wade!”

Artemis and Robin were in one of the building’s security rooms when they saw DCpool surrounded by the robots.

 Artemis is about to call in for backup for DC when Robin tells her to stop and watch.

It. Is. BRUTAL.

The way their teammate was dispatching the robots with extreme efficiency and ruthlessness was scary… and graceful?

They swear they can hear music in the background.

Both make mental notes to ask DC about his prior training before joining the team.

Artemis squints closer to the screen. Artemis: “Is he—Is he dancing?” Robin: “I think he is?” DC grabs a metal ‘femur’ of one of the bots’ exoskeletons and throws it into the bots chest. The oil splattering on the ground and face. Both heroes wince. Suddenly the camera falls next to DC, who just picks it up and holds it if he were taking a selfie… with the offline robot. Robin: “Oh that’s just wrong.” DC kisses the temple of the bot before chucking the camera to go back into the fray. Artemis: “Super wrong.”

Aqualad and Miss Martian are the unlucky ones to be in the same room as DCpool and the robots.

They are fairing well as a pair against the bots.

Barely, but doing all right.

M’gann is worried about DC handling the bots by himself.

Aqualad tries to move closer to where DCpool is to see what he could help with.

Both Atlantean and Martian are in shock seeing how well he is doing.

VERY well…

M’gann gets a bit sick seeing how brutal DC is getting rid of the enemy.

Kaldur knows he is going to need to talk to him about… this when everyone gets back to the cave.

Wait—was he dancing!?

M’gann: “I don’t think he needs any help.” Both of them watch DC uses one bot’s head to bash another bots head in. Oil and wires fly everywhere. Kaldur: “I don’t think so.” DC looks their way. DC: “Heads up!” He kicks the head over to Kaldur, who dodges just in time to hit another robot from behind. DC: “WOAH! Is this fun or what!” Kaldur: “DCpool I do not think—wait why is there music? How is there music here?” DCpool shrugs. DC: “Never question the power of fighting songs Nemo.”

[ladybellissima]

Special Ending Finding Love Katakuri Charlotte x Reader

Step after step, she walked along the corridor of their shared home, deep in thought. Like a robot her hands glided over her already big stomach, concentrated to feel every little message her body might was sending to her. "(Y/N)…keep calm. Everythings alright. Your child is alright. You are alright. The doctors told you so…", she whispered with a deep sigh, nevertheless a smile spread across her face. Anytime she was going to be a mother. Anytime Katakuri would be called a father. How fast things could change. And how fast 9 months could pass. Again a certain pain errupted at her back and slowly crawled torwards her stomach.

"You will definately know the moment your baby wants to come."

Definately, (Y/N) knew that she was completely clueless. Sighing she thought about Katakuri, who she already brought on the verge of a mental breakdown, because of her uneasiness. And by god she felt huge. How was her stomach able to grow so much? And why did she feel happy and devasted at the same time?

"Something's wrong?", a certain deep voice cut through her thoughts and let her stop in her tracks. Turning (Y/N) was met with Katakuri's calm expression, still eyebrows raised in question of her sudden activity. Normally he found his wife sleeping or relaxing, waiting paitently for their special day. Or better, she wasn't really able to do much moving with her latest size. Katakuri couldn't but feel helpless about not being able to support her more. Only able to watch over her and listen to her worries, in hope to make things easier. And again he was right in finishing his work earlier, feeling that something was off. (Y/N) on the other side felt exhausted and strained of causing him to worry again. She couldn't help it. Couldn't hide her inner conflict.

"Nothing's wrong, Katakuri. I am just restless today..i..i know that everything's fine..yeah.", (Y/N) spoke with a short smile, while accepting his hug and sweet kiss onto her forehead.

"Tell me (Y/N)…", he whispered, while kissing her cheek. Avoiding his strong gaze, she felt uneasy to start.

"At the beginning of your pregnancy you've told me every little detail. Literally every little detail…", he spoke and had to chuckle of this certain call he got from her. Quickly he rushed back home, thought she was sick and needed help. With pride (Y/N) announced that she felt miserable and had to puke for hours.

"Back then, i thought you were terribly sick, but you just tried to tell me that you were pregnant.", he added and felt relieved to make her chuckle.

"Yeah, i just knew something was going on. I felt lightheaded all the time..", (Y/N) whispered with a sigh, while brushing across her stomach, till Katakuri took her hand. To think that this rough start was just the beginning of a honestly nightmare.

"Not to mention your sudden outbursts of anger about well… nothing. ", he joked and gave her hand a kiss. Oh how helpless he felt of (Y/N)'s tired and angered mood. Not that he never experienced a fight with his wife, but this was on a whole different level. Easily she left annoyed or grumbled and complained about simple things, like his leaving for his duties or on special days his breathing.

"Well but there was a beautiful answer, why all this happened. Alongside endless calls and visits of doctors…", (Y/N) started kind of ashamed. "To think how often we called out to the doctors..how stupid of me..", she spoke uneasy, while avoiding his strong gaze.

"You were afraid… that's okay (Y/N). It's your first. Better we check and ease your worries than let your fears haunting your mind..", Katakuri spoke, while touching her stomach to maybe feel his baby's push. How excited (Y/N) was bursting into his office at whole cake chateau, ignoring his complains how on earth she could travel without proper protection and pregnant on a ship, to grab his hands and lay them onto her stomach. And how dissapointed she was after Katakuri felt nothing, explaining that sure she felt a push and moving. To be honest he also felt slightly annoyed about the fact that he still didn't receive a push against his hand till today. Like getting already rejected.

"Yeah but it got out of hand. I honestly couldn't really calm down..is he or she okay? Still moving, still growing and not in danger..still alive.", she whispered afraid, while Katakuri gave her a short nod of approval. He knew and honestly he expected this journey to be more sweeter. Was beyond happy to have a child with (Y/N). Felt overwhelmed, proud and powerful.

But it wasn't an easy pregnancy.

At first (Y/N) felt excited, couldn't believe that she really was becoming a mother. But beside feeling terribly sick for a long time, (Y/N) felt like suffocating. Often panicked of this overwhelming feeling to lose control of her body, while her stomach grew. She felt mentally exhausted, ugly, fat. Never would she be herself again. And after all her personal conflicts, she felt uneasy of her baby's health either. How could the baby be okay, if she felt so damn sick all the time?

Sighing of thinking about their pregnancy journey, (Y/N) felt unbelievable grateful to have Katakuri by her side. He never complained and brought her even late at night to their doctor. (Y/N) knew that he was worried too. Sure terrified. Fighting with his inner self how to help her, but honestly there was nothing to do. It was fate. It was pure luck and patience that they had come this far. Slowly she reached for his face, pulling his scarf away to kiss him deeply, but a sudden shot of pain let her struggle.

"Tell me (Y/N)…", Katakuri spoke seriously, while watching his wife taking a seat. Sighing (Y/N) bite her lips in frustration.

" Okay. Well i feel a strange uncomfortable pain. Coming from my back and it's also spreading till here. ", she spoke with a hectic voice, while pointing at the certain spots at her stomach.

"You feel what!?!"

Holding her breath, (Y/N)'s body froze in the spot of her husband's sudden outburst.

"Isn't that bad!!? Pain is bad or not?", Katakuri suddenly spoke - shouted, quickly made sure she stays in her position in holding her shoulders. "Don't move so much! You make it worse! I've read that you shouldn't move and stay in bed, if you are in pain! Why were you rushing around like a maniac!?", he spoke shocked, while thinking of what to do first.

Blinking in surprise, (Y/N) scratched her head irritated. "You've read those pregnancy books too? In some way you sure are right, but i was thinking more about the pain of giving birth…maybe?" , (Y/N) asked frustrated, holding her stomach of another shot of pain.

"Well…well..maybe this was part at the beginning..i can't remember..hell..you tell me! Are you giving birth (Y/N)? Now?", Katakuri stuttered helplessly, while feeling drops of sweat already forming onto his forehead.

"I…i am not sure. It's not that bad. Maybe it's just a stomach ache. I don't want to cause another ruckus at whole cake..God Katakuri i don't know, what to do. Wait. Not wait. Maybe something's off. Maybe not. Hell what about all this lovey dovey shit in those shitty books about a beautiful pregnant woman with a small bump and no worries at all. Going for a daily walk, laughing and chatting with her prince charming and then blop…it's here!", (Y/N) growled pissed, balling her fists in anger. Katakuri knew right away to keep a safe distance and let his wife calm down.

"Okay..well think ..let's think ..", Katakuri spoke stressed, while walking up and down the corridor, like his lovely wife used to. Watching the sweet commander with a short smile, (Y/N) felt tears stinging at the corner of her eyes of another shot of pain.

"Katakuri…", (Y/N) whispered and made him stop in his tracks of her faint and shaken voice.

She knew.

"Please..bring me to the doctor.."

He didn't have to use his skills to know that things got out of hand from now on. And even if he had read books about pregnancies to be prepared, he wasn't prepared for this at all.

(Y/N) knew that it wasn't a piece of cake. Knew all too well that it would hurt badly, after already going through different stages of pain during her pregnancy. Starting from back pain, stomach ache, even her legs hurt endlessly and got swollen.

But

The pain of giving birth was overwhelming. On top of not knowing, if you are really in labor at the beginning. The more (Y/N)'s nervousness raise, the more pain shot through her back and stomach. Unbearable long cramps, which made her vision slightly blurry. In a way she felt kind of in a trance, everytime another shot of pain errupted inside her. Was this her final day? It felt surreal. Faces passed her vision, pale, afraid, shocked. Voices around her got louder, while she was carried secure in Katakuri's arms, whos voice cut through her shocked state. Shouting and ordering servants around. The next moment (Y/N) felt herself placed onto a soft mattress, while Brulee spoke soothing words to calm her down. But honestly, (Y/N) wasn't able to really listen to anyone, while Katakuri got pale like a ghost, after she couldn't but had to scream. Couldn't but had to plead. Couldn't but had to shout, while doctors just gave her an supportive smile and advice to breath. She felt lost. Helpless. Frustrated of not being able to escape. And there it was the point of regret. There was no going back. While (Y/N) went through hours of pain, Katakuri got pushed outside by his sister to calm his shaking form and prevent him screaming at the doctors, who waited paitently and observed his wife's Odyssey.

"This isn't normal!!! This can't be normal!", he growled frutrated, while holding his head in distress. Rubbing his back, Brulee tried to support him as good as possible.

"You've heard the doctors.. everything's fine. She is going through a natural birth. It's sadly normal to go through hours of pain. Believe in her…i know it's hard to watch her suffer…she is becoming a mother..can't believe it Katakuri. I am so excited..", she spoke and gave him all the time he needed to calm down, but the sudden call of a doctor let him freeze in the spot.

"Master Katakuri. It won't take long anymore."

Like a robot Katakuri stepped back into the room, ears drumming of (Y/N)'s screams, slowly stepping to her side. He never saw her like that. Never heard such screams, deep and filled with pure pain and horror. Helpless digging her nails into his skin, while clinging onto his arm.

(Y/N) didn't get a sign, but pushed. Pushed against the pain, till a sudden shot released her amniotic fluid. For a moment her body froze in the spot of comprehending the situation, till the waves of pain got her back into screaming. Doctors called out to her to wait, till she was ready, but all she was able to was push. Push to stop this nightmare. Push like an inner instinct to survive.

And suddenly her big bump got smaller, while the feeling of losing something overwhelmed her form. Shaken her body got kind of cold, sweat glistered on her exposed skin, realizing that she was completely exposed down under.

But it wasn't important, because a loud unknown voice echoed through the room. Took her place in screaming at the top of its lungs.

Shaken like crazy, (Y/N) started to cry bitterly. Pressing a hand onto her mouth, she tried to control her outburst of emotions. It wasn't possible. Overwhelmed her baby was placed onto her chest, the weight unexpected heavy, pressing down onto her. Crying she watched her child for the first time. Her beautiful little boy with crimson hair. Speechless her look wandered up to Katakuri, who watched his son with wide eyes.

"Katakuri …we have a son…he is finally here…", her raspy voice called out to him. Shaking his head of hearing her normal voice again, Katakuri took her hand to press it softly. "(Y/N)…", he whispered exhausted, while watching her in disbelief. He didn't need to say a word. She herself had to still come back to her senses. Calming down, slowly realizing that the pain was completely gone.

"Congratulation!! What's his name?", a voice called out to them to pull them back to reality.

Smiling at each other, (Y/N) and Katakuri touched their son's hand, still couldn't really believe that this little one was their own.

"You are already special and you will become so much more.. whatever path you choose..ours is already settled in believing in you…Okashi"

Hopefully it is the way you all wished 🥳❤️💚❤️ let me know ���🎊 and Okashi means Sweet in japanese 💚

[blood-stained-lollipop]

advice for you based on your favourite pasta

Jeff- Are you excited about the When We Were Young festival? I hope Dan and Phil come out with the gay flag and kiss just for you <3. How are your anger issues? Playing your music at volume 100 isn’t a substitute for therapy. Please go hug someone babe, having Jeff as your favorite in 2023 means you definitely need it. 

Ben- I just know you’re funny, like your friends fucking love you. Either play video games or have a creative hobby. Ben stans are literally the best. Probably have awesome taste in music. My advice for you? It’s okay if you aren’t the happy one all the time, you aren’t a robot babe <3

Jack- I get academic overachiever vibes from you, like, you’re smart, and you know you’re smart. You probably read and have a letterboxd account. You’re effortlessly cool, and probably hot, but it’s okay to fail sometimes, you don’t have to be perfect <3

Toby- Hello mentally ill gay people no im jk all of you are mentally ill and gay its the creepypasta fandom lolz. You probably feel like you’re really annoying and cope via having Toby as your comfort character. Either you’ve been in therapy since you were twelve or you need to go. Try and prioritise yourself babe <3

Helen- ITS OKAY TO DO THINGS ALONE!!!!! You probably feel insecure about your lack of friends, or you feel like your social life sucks. Doing things alone is okay, it doesn’t make you a loser. You probably like art, and you’re probably fucking great at it. Don’t compare yourself to anyone babe <3

Liu- Do you have family trauma and/or feel like you’re gonna be alone for the rest of your life? Yeah checks out. Spend more time with people, I promise they aren't all bad. Go pet a dog, stand in the sunshine. Life is great sometimes <3

Jane- psst… it's okay to let your guard down. Idk if you knew that, but here I am telling you anyway. You’re a bad bitch, I know. You’re hot, I know. But not everyone wants to hurt you. Also, stop trying to take care of everyone around you <3

Nina- you probably got/get bullied for being different. I think its hot that you’re different. Sure, you belong in a 2007 scene meet-up and i’m sorry you aren’t there rn, but you have SO MANY secret admirers. Keep being you babe, don’t change for anyone <3

Clockwork- okay i’m just gonna say it. Sometimes being mean to people and pushing them away is a bad coping mechanism. I am saying this because I have the same coping mechanisms. We are the same. Please for the love of god stop clenching your jaw and let your guard down!!! <3

Sally- Either you’re one of the younger fans or you have serious trauma. You can’t go to places or listen to certain songs without wanting to throw up. Your hands are burning from holding onto your inner child so tightly. Hang in there, it’s gonna get better <3

[whydoihave]

Moon's Starless Reviews

Pitbabe 2 Ep 3

Good God I need to get that out of my system before I combust...

Phew... Did you see that? The Season is seasoning, and we are barely in, last time it took them around 6 eps for things to pick up in the good way.

Which, on the downside, means that we have another 10 weeks of utter mental and emotional torture.

Let's get into it while I still have working braincells...

- Babe: I should give him credit for the assurance he handed so softly to Charlie. When I saw him doing that, I was instantly reminded that he had lost him once and he wouldn't bear to lose him again.

But... But... But...

Babe is overconfident, Over the top with his ego, he already believes that he will take Tony out like last time, he already believes that he can and would beat Willy into his own twisted game (whatever that is...)

Charlie: Oh my sweet baby boy, the pressure on him is making my back ache, and we are barely 3 weeks into what should be a three-month trip, He is trying so hard, SO HARD, to be everything for everyone and the strain is showing, the mental strain is on his face like a badly concealed bruise (Kudos to Boo for that)

Jeff: The second he uttered those words in the hospital, I flinched. He just set a chain reaction to desperation, utter hopelessness, starting with a smile, and there's nothing to do about it, and that's what Jeff had just done. I understand what he came from, but a year with a partner should have gotten that hard skull of his a bit softer... what was even gut wrenching was the fact that he doesn't know what to do to fix it, he doesn't know what to do about anything, and everything is spiraling out of control.

Alan: My god, Lung, get it together!!

Now with the explosive ones...

Chris: My dear sassy specialist, you have an agenda, and it's not Tony-related, and I want to see you turn from the specialist to the bed warmer to the mad scientist.

Pete: I love him and want to smack him in equal measures... he got a good head on his shoulders as long as he is not thinking about Way, the second that happens he is blind, deaf and mute and I think that would be his downfall.

Kenta & Kim (Because what is one without the other y'all): Was anyone else as annoyed as me from the Team's reaction to him compared to their reaction to Dean?

He looks like he got it, He wanted nothing to do with them yet he ran to protect them, he told Pete straight on that if he stays he is putting Pete in danger, he couldn't look at Kim for more than a second and the second Kim met his gaze he stood like a robot before he remembered he was human and folded his arms like a sulking child.

And Kim darling... WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING GOING BACK TO KOREA, THE HELL!!

Kim took one look at Kenta and he was like, hmmm... I can fix that... good god the looks.

On the serious note though, I do wonder if Kim going back to Korea has something to do with "heart problem" that was mentiones in the synopsis.

North & Sonic: I want them to just kiss... I will feel better the second they kiss... just kiss already you two and spare us the tension.

Willy: oh god he has powers!! But I am not sure he was the one behind Babe’s accident for one because There's this belief that I have that Babe’s memories can be tempered with, and for another because he doesn't look like he was onto the Tony agenda... he has his own and it's bad...

Tony, Winner, and the new goon: good lord, he is going to put them through it, all the holding back on not hurting Babe is gone and he is out for everyone's blood.

Honorable Mentions because I just cannot.

DEAN: WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIVING RELATIONSHIPS ADVICE, GOOD GOD

All in all that was a really good episode opening a shit load of possibilities, I feel like whenever we think we understand where they are heading, they do like the X hunters and turn the other way.

But I also firmly believe emotional devastation is coming our way.

[approxydoll]

Welcome to my blog! I’m Approxydoll, but you can also call me Roxy! I am a doll that is mostly approximating being a princess. I have self-confidence problems, and everyone should love me anyway! I am mentally quite young, though I am not aware of this. That’s a secret! I’m also broken in a lot of ways, which is pretty normal for princesses. My robot bird, Birdie, is my best friend! I guess we all have our little pets. Oh, I love to reign supreme too! You’re all paying me tribute with your reblogs, right? Haha, just kidding (or am I? I’m not… you can’t expect me to understand jokes).I will also one day be so powerful and all-knowing that I can surpass all the weak little humans and take over the world. Wait, am I still doing the intro? Oops…Anyway, I’m glad you’re here! Mwah! (A kiss upon thy cheek.)My Birdie♥️

[gigidragonbbxxx]

SP + Romance Affirmation of the Day

I'm always receiving love confessions! People that I am attracted to are attracted to me. My admirers wish they could kiss the ground where I walk. I always seem perfect to them. My SP is so proud of having an absolute piece of art as the object of their affections. I am respected and treated like I am precious. Romance is a mainstay in my life.

Options on How to Affirm:

repeat to self out loud or inside your head (robotically affirm) for 10 minutes straight.

repeat to self out loud or inside your head (robotically affirm) while using the counter app. Choose your own numeric goal.

record on Parrot app and loop for desired amount of time.

script this onto paper as much as you want for as long as you want, I recommend saying it outloud as you write.

visualize whatever will signify and prove to you that this affirmation is real

meditate upon the feeling of how it would feel if the affirmation was true, identify as that feeling being true and continue to dwell in that feeling/state

Remember, methodologies are as varied as the calculator vs. the abacus vs. mental math vs. counting with your fingers - they all accomplish the same goal.

xx, gigi

[bkaulitzz]

𝐖𝐡𝐨 𝐂𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐞?

more like this on my wattpad @/b_kaulitzz

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genre: horror + angst

infos: femx2009 dreads bill

synopsis: there’s been a murder in your town

a/n: i didnt proofread so there will be mistakes, this is also fast paced, ALSO i am NOT demonizing mental illnesses in any way, BILLS CHARACTER DOES NOT POTRAY PEOPLE WITH OCD ACCURATELY, this is purely for entertainment, i DO not condone what bill’s character does

more under cut :)

I zipped open my backpack as it sat on my lap, rummaging through it to look for my English notebook. Our teacher wasn't even here yet, no one was prepared. I groaned as I had every notebook but English.

"What's wrong?" Bill spoke softly amongst the other students. I frowned as I looked at him.

"I'm missing my English notebook, " I placed my pen down. He didn't respond, only making me more frustrated. I clicked my pen onto the desk, resting my head on my backpack as I groaned.

"This English notebook?" He reached over, sliding the composition book onto my desk. I raised my eyebrows, reaching down to flip through the pages.

"How'd you find it?" I looked through the pages, my chest feeling less tense as it was the notebook. He crossed his arms, laying them on the desk, and rested his chin on his arms.

"You forgot it in my room before you left yesterday, " He took my face, pinching my cheek. I winced, rubbing my cheek once he pulled away. "You need to be more careful with your stuff."

"I try-"

"Not hard enough, " Bill looked away from me, his attention going onto the teacher as she closed the door. Everyone went silent as she looked like she was in shambles. She quietly placed her items on her desk before returning to the front of the class, her heels clicking against the tiled ground.

"One of our students..." She inhaled, her face turning red as she looked down. "David Stevens...passed away. He was brutally murdered, no one knows by whom yet, " Her voice was shaky as tears began to form. My heart dropped to my stomach as I clenched my backpack, turning my head towards the only empty desk in the classroom. I felt my breath go uneasy as my heart raced. It was as if the whole world went silent from the news. I breathed heavily as the whole classroom had a collective panic. I glanced over at Bill, but nothing. Not a single wrinkle on his porcelain skin. David Stevens was an asshole to me, but him being murdered is too much. How could I not react? Bill always told me he struggled with his emotions, I never believed him until now. He slowly looked over at me with widened eyes as his lips formed a straight line, almost robotic-like.

"Are you okay, dear?" He reached out to hold my cheek. I breathed heavily, feeling my stomach turn. Even his lips looked robotic as they moved. I shuddered, clenching my eyes as I felt my face heat up. I leaned over my desk, feeling him move his hand down my back. His chair scraped against the floor as he scooted closer to rub my back. "It's okay...what's wrong? Nobody will hurt you, okay? The murderer won't get you, " He whispered into my ear as his hand traced circles on my back. My breath hiccuped as I teared up. A loud ringing filled my left ear as I slowly turned to him. I hardly even noticed that his hands were shaking.

"I don't wanna die, " My voice shook as Bill stared at me, lifelessly. He shakingly took my hand as his breath got stuck in his throat, kissing my knuckles.

"I'll protect you, " He swiped his thumb over my knuckles. The rest of the class coped in their own way as our teacher held her face. "Breathe, " His gaze softened, running his lips against my knuckles. I took a deep inhale, my stomach only turning more.

***

The hallways were full as I tried to make it to the front lobby. The sun lit the area through the glass walls. My face brightened up as Bill was already there, waiting for me. I pushed past a few people, wrapping my arms around his neck. The sounds of buses starting up came from outside as people exited. "Can you please take me home today?" I looked up at him, holding on tight. He leaned down, moving his hands on the lower of my back.

"Of course, " He slid his hands away, taking one of my hands as he led me to his car. I watched where my bus usually was, where he would always walk me. He brushed his thumb on the back of my palm, the distance from the lobby and his car being short as we made it to the black vehicle. He opened the passenger door, allowing me to slide in.

"Could you also...stay the night?" I asked as I watched him get into his seat. He raised an eyebrow as he started the car.

"Will your parents let me?" He buckled his seatbelt, waiting for the other people to get out of his way. I felt a lump form in my throat as I imagined sleeping alone.

"Just hide in my room, please?" I frowned, leaning my head against the car seat. He sighed, backing out of the parking lot.

"Okay, but if they catch me, I have to go. They already don't like me as is, " He kept his eyes on the road as he made it out of the school. I felt slightly guilty for even asking him, my parents never approved of Bill. My mom always said something was off. But, I think she's crazy. I looked out the window, feeling so stupid for asking him. But, I needed him, especially now. I was pulled out of my thoughts, feeling Bill's cold touch through the leggings of my thigh. I placed a hand over his, my heart fluttering as I admired his side profile. "Love you."

"Love you too, " I felt his hand grip my thigh gently as he took the directions to my house. I sighed in satisfaction as my eyes traced his body, watching him drive. He always looked so peaceful, I often wonder what he thinks about. His hand began to shake as he held onto my thigh, I furrowed my eyebrows as I grasped his hand. "Bill?..." I watched as his face twisted, turning into my neighborhood. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, " He shook his head as he got closer to my house, pulling away from my thigh. He pulled up to my driveway, grabbing our backpacks before opening his car door. My face twisted as I got out as well, the door opening with a pop before I closed it.

"Bill?" I frowned as I followed behind him to my front door, pulling out my keys. He hummed in response as I unlocked the front door. "Are you alright?" I twisted the warm doorknob, opening the door to let him in. It was quiet, not even the slightest creaking could be heard.

"Everything's fine, " He walked in, slipping off his shoes as he placed our bags down. I watched him carefully, slipping my shoes off as well. I closed the door behind me, and the lock clicked as I turned it.

"Are you hungry? Let me see if my mom made anything, " I walked to the kitchen, looking through the fridge. My feet were cold as they made contact with the granite tiles of the kitchen. I flinched a bit, feeling Bill's hand on my lower back, his hand still shaking. "Are you cold?" I furrowed my brows as I took his hand, closing the fridge. His hooded eyes met mine as I looked up at him. He only shook his head, coming closer. My heart fluttered as his cologne filled my nose, I reached up to his face, caressing his cheeks. "Bill?..." I tilted my head.

"Don't worry about me, " He whispered, pressing his lips against my forehead. I slid my hands down to his chest, watching him lean back.

"All I can do is worry, " I pursed my lips. His hands moved down to my shoulder and he took a deep breath, rubbing them. "Are you stressed out about the...David situation too?..." I asked. His face froze for a second as if he needed to load the information.

"Yea..." He nodded, wrapping his arms around me. He rested his head in the crook of my neck as he rubbed my upper back. His hands glided down to my waist, pulling me closer as he harshly dug his nails through my shirt. My breath hitched as I wrapped my arms around his neck, feeling his heart race against my chest. I felt my heartbeat in my throat as Bill's hands inched to the curve of my back, his hands continuing to shake.

"Bill?..." I felt him squeeze me, all of the oxygen in my body, leaving. His breathing became heavy, causing me to shudder as it was hot against my neck. I felt his hand move up to my back and I clenched my eyes. "Bill-"

"Stop it, stop, stop, " He hushed me, his chest heaving against mine. I let out a small squeal, pushing my head into his shoulder. "Everything will be okay, " He whispered harshly, kissing my neck. I didn't know whether he was comforting me or himself at this point. I opened my eyes, looking out the window behind him to ease myself. The sun shone on the wooden floorboards of my dining area. It looked so peaceful out, maybe we should take a walk. I watched as the grass danced against the wind, my breathing easing. I widened my eyes, watching Bill pull back. My mouth hung low as I reached back, feeling warm thick, slimy liquid seep through my thin t-shirt. I slowly moved my hand into my view as he stepped back, the sight of my blood spreading on my fingers. I let out a shriek, followed by heavy breathing as my legs grew weak. It felt as if a thousand needles were poking into my legs.

"Bill?!" I let out as my back throbbed, slowly dropping to the ground. Every breath I took felt like another stab coming back in. I looked up at him as each breath slowly shortened.

"I didn't mean to, " His voice echoed in my head as a ringing filled my ears. His eyes were wide as he leaned down. I let out a cry of pain, reaching back for the wound again. My arms felt so numb, too weak to plug my own wound. I held onto the floor, trying to scoot back, but getting nowhere. He continued to step closer, his brows curved inward. I blinked my eyes, trying to rid of the white light in my vision. My vision was so tainted, it looked as if he had a wide smile on his face. God, his pupils...they're so huge.

"Bill?..." I felt for what seemed to be his face, dragging my blood down his cheek. "Why...why would you ever..." My breathing shortened as my vision slowly caved in.

***

I fluttered my eyes open, raising an eyebrow as I heard the heart monitor. I shuddered as I ran a finger over the needle in the back of my palm. My mouth was dry as I continued to look around, the crispy bed sheets shuffled under me. I reached around the bed, feeling for the call remote before pressing it. All I could hear were cries and moans from the other room as I waited for the nurse. After a few minutes, the door gently slid open, and a nurse came in.

"Are you feeling alright?" She asked. I gave her a small smile, looking at the TV on the wall before turning to her.

"Yea, I feel...okay..." I curled my fingers into the blanket. "Just a little thirsty and can you also change the channel, please?" I swallowed hard as all that was on was the news. She nodded in response before grabbing the remote from my bedside, making me feel stupid that I hadn't seen it. She switched it quickly before placing it down.

"I'll be back with water, " She turned around and closed the door behind her to leave. I leaned against the soft pillow, running my fingers against the cold railing. Is this real life? I shifted in the bed a bit, pulling up the thin blanket as I watched the channel that she put on. I hummed as I watched the door slide open, raising an eyebrow as the same nurse before didn't step in. A few seconds passed before I watched the dark-haired male walk in with a bottle of water. I felt chills down my spine as goosebumps formed, the realization hitting me of where I was. I gripped the sheets as I scooted close to the emergency remote, watching him close the door as he kept his eyes on me.

"You're awake, " Bill gave me an innocent smile as his face was bare, his eyes red. Why was he crying? He's not the victim. I trembled as my heart pounded, my face heating up as he stepped closer. His footsteps were so loud, that my ears began to ring as he was right by my bed. He twisted the bottle open, leaning over my bed as he brought the bottle to my lips. I breathed heavily, feeling my diaphragm expand in my stomach. "Aren't you thirsty?" He tilted his head. My hand shook as I snatched the water bottle, taking a sip.

"Where are my parents?" I felt my whole body heat up as sweat began to form. He frowned as he held onto the railing.

"They're on their way, babe, " He reached out to hold my face.

"Don't, " I glared up at him as I clenched the remote with my free hand. My eyes followed him as he walked over to the side of the remote to get closer to me.

"Please? I was worried about you, " He leaned down to me. I could nearly vomit as the smell of his cologne tainted the bleach smell of the hospital.

"Worried? Did you forget why I was in here, to begin with?" My nostrils flared as I felt tears form. I flinched as he held my face, wiping the corners of my eyes before the tears could even roll off my cheek.

"We talked about this...my mental health is getting worse, " His lip quivered as he looked at me. I snatched my face away, my thumb moving over the call button.

"You're mentally ill. You make me sick to my stomach. I want nothing to do with you anymore, Bill. Get out of here, I'm gonna give you five minutes before I press the button, " I watched as his whole world was getting ripped apart. "You're fucking delusional if you think I'd stay with you."

"Be quiet, " He sniffled as he teared up. He pressed his fingers into my face, causing me to wince. Before I could even press the button, he took my wrist, using his free hand to cover my mouth. "I don't wanna hear it, " He wept as if he was the one getting hurt. I let out a groan as he forcibly pulled my wrist off, squirming under him. But with the injury and my state, he was far too strong to fight against. I sobbed into his hand, closing my eyes as I shook my hand. "I never wanted to hurt you, " He bawled out. He was not letting go anytime soon, his face turning red. I watched as he sobbed, only making me cry more. When will I ever win? I bit at his hand, only causing him to press harder into my cheeks. I let out a moan of pain, flailing my legs. He slowly climbed onto the bed, using his whole body weight to hold me down. I widened my eyes, hyperventilating as my whole body was still under him.

"You're hurting me!" I muffled. He took his hand away from my mouth, pinning me down by my wrist. I continued to hyperventilate, letting out small sobs in between. "You're insane, " I wept, throwing my head back into the pillow. I hardly even recognized him anymore. Bill slowly climbed off of me, pulling me into his grasp. He held my head in his chest as I sobbed, shuddering as he gently rubbed my back. "You need to get serious help and I don't want nothing to do with it, " I muffled, my tears staining his band tee.

"I know, " He said. I felt his heartbeat against my forehead, the only thing that eased me only caused fear now. "I love you, just listen to me, " He stroked my nape.

"Just get out, " I leaned back and looked up at him with a tear-stained face. His grasp was still on me.

"Please, just listen to me. That's all I'm asking, " He wiped my tears. My breath hiccuped as my face was heated. I shook my head, narrowing my eyes.

"Listen to what? You're pathetic excuses? You're fucking crazy, that's what I know. I can't live like this, " I felt my head pound. He frowned, caressing my cheek. My stomach turned with each fingerprint he left on me.

"I never wanted to hurt you, " He reiterated, his chest heaving. His eyes watered up once more.

"The look on your face when I was on the ground...I thought I was gonna die and all you did was smile, " I hoarsed, it nearly came out as a growl.

"It wasn't like that, " He brokenly let out as his tears fell sideways, our head resting on the same pillow.

"Then what was it like?" I felt a warm tear roll down my face sideways, my mouth being filled with the salty taste.

"I panicked. I would never want to hurt you. I couldn't stop myself, " He sniffled as he rubbed my upper arm. "I never...want to lose you, " He leaned in, kissing my nose. I felt my heart clench as I watched him shake.

"Bill..." I gulped. He let out a small hum as tears fell, leaving a stain on the pillow. "You scare me, " I spoke softly, my chin wrinkling as I let out a small weep. His eyes clenched as he sobbed in response.

"I don't want to scare you, " He sniffled, grazing his fingers against my cheek. His rings, cold, against my skin. I reached up for his wrist, caressing the back of his palm with my pointer finger.

"When you first told me about everything, I thought, 'Yea, everything will be fine.' I thought that I could save you, " I pursed my lips, gently running my nail against the back of his palm. "But I don't know anymore...how can I save you if I can't save myself?" I grew silent as his lips stayed shut. I moved his palm to my lips, gently kissing the inside as I kept eye contact. We just stared at each other. His eyes looked so dead, it was almost like we were looking into a mirror.

"What can I do?" Bill mumbled, breaking the silence.

"I'll spend every penny I have for you to get help, " I felt a lump form in my throat as I let go of his wrist, reaching out for his face.

"Will you go to therapy with me?..." He grasped my hand, feeling me caress his cheek. I felt my heart sink as I looked away.

"Bill..."

"Please, " He pulled my hand off his cheek, kissing my knuckles. "I'll heal. I'll become better."

"I don't think I'll heal, " I looked back at him and he slowly pulled my hand down.

"What do you mean?... We'll still be together, right?" His voice was desperate. I slowly shook my head, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. "What about all the plans we made?"

"Maybe you'll find someone better-"

"No! There's no one better, " He clasped our fingers together. "You're all I want. You know, " His voice grew shaky. "I wanna spend every last breath with you. Just everything, you're my everything, " He spoke quickly.

"I can't do this, Bill. I'm so...drained. Even before, " I looked away. "I tried my best to stay strong for you and support you. Even then, I felt like I was dying. It felt like a war between me and your battles. At times, I felt like I wasn't dating Bill. I felt like I was dating OCD, " I moved my hand down to the side of his neck.

"But, it's a part of me, " His face scrunched as his tears continued to flow.

"I can't promise to be there for you, Bill, " I scooted close and kissed his nose. He took my cheek as he looked at me with bloodshot eyes.

"I love you, " He kissed my nose, down to my lips. "You were the only love that I've ever known, " He said between the kiss. I teared up as I reciprocated, closing my eyes as our lips melted. I moved my hand down to his chest, clenching the fabric as I pulled him close. "Please."

"We can't, Bill, " I breathed out, our kiss growing sloppy as our tears mixed. He sniffled as he turned his head, holding my nape.

"I can't move on, " He sniffled as he pulled away. I kissed his tears, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"It'll be the only way to save both of us."

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