#mostly just wanted these on my pale blog lol

[haylewilliams]

Taylor Swift in New York City, September 8, 2023

[kalims]

Hi, there! :D

I don't know if my request will be taken into account but you mentioned that it's okay to try.

I am not throwin' away my shot >:D (sorry my indoor theater kid comes out from time to time)

Type: Headcanons

Reader: Neutral

Scenary: The NCR boys see that a student from Noble Bell College or RSA who has been trying to flirt with the prefect, in a bold move steals the prefect's (first) kiss. How would they react and what would they feel?

I feel like it would be a rollercoaster of occurrences and complete chaos in NCR xD

If my request does not convince you, you can discard it without problems, but if not, take your time and without pressure, thank you 💐🌼✨👍✍️I love your TWST fics they always make me smile .

whisk away

premise. despite your many efforts of evading your seeming admirer, they remain persistent in their pursuit. you've considered just leaving them in the dust without an explanation whatsoever but you're too stunned to process the fact that they've just kissed you without a warning. next thing you know there's a murderous aura approaching.

characters. silver, jade, deuce, kalim, vil

note. you didn't really specify which characters jhshs so I took the liberty of scouring your blog and just put the ones you seem to like ^^ and I kid you not, used a wheel for the other 2 lol (so sorry, was gonna post this earlier but got busy since presentations came up so I only finished now.)

silver

has a mixture of shock and anger. which is mostly for your sake honestly, he wasn't gonna intervene cause he felt like you would wanna deal with it on your own so he feels the absolute mortification slipping into his bones. if he wasn't fully awake, then he definitely is now!

fully ready to talk some sense into that idiot who has no sense of space, hello?

last time he knew, you weren't really dating anyone. silver would know if you did, cause you both talk practically everyday and a lover would be something he should be aware of... unless you didn't talk? I mean, who else would just kiss you like that?

someone unpleasant. he decides. one look at your face and he knows immediately that it wasn't something you expected as well.

just pulls up with a rare look of anger directed to the student, brows furrowed, shoulders tense and all. everyone's used to the serene, calm look on his features so seeing him look so different probably put off said student so they scampered after a promise made by silver if they dared to stick around.

"leave, or find out what happens if you don't."

gone is the anger *poof* and is fretting over you now. are you okay? do you want him to knock some sense into that idiot? literally tell him anything, order him to do anything, and he'll do it (within reason) my guy is just here for your sake tbh.

kinda gloomy cause damn, that was your first? he wanted both of yours to be first and some grade a hole just decided to shatter all that. it makes him all the more irritated so if he can't have your first kiss, he'll just take your second, and every single other kiss you'll give.

jade

take the murderous aura and multiply it tenfold!!

jade doesn't really need to reach you and make his presence known by a few words cause it seems like everyone but you within 10 feet radius of him is sensing the murderous aura he's emitting. if it's not feeling that, then it's seeing the eery dark smile present on his face.

and he seems to be having a death march towards a specific direction so everybody knows where to avoid atleast. cause it seems like anyone on his path is gonna get trampled and no one likes a messy hall.

student in front of you pales, deluding themselves that maybe he's just heading somewhere behind them to vent out that rage or something but they glance behind and almost piss their pants when there is in fact, no one present near anywhere and he's getting closer.

so... they wanted to live so they just bolted out. an experience with one of the tweels won't be good news, and if jade is the one who has them in his sights... they'll take the head start thank you very much.

with the students face memorized and tucked into a corner of his mind he smiles almost innocently at you when you spot him and strike the most casual of conversation.

well, that's under the guise atleast. he's shooting you subtle questions about that person to which you reply innocently. oblivious to the grave you're digging for them yourself.

oddly enough jade started being strangely affectionate, a hand on the small of your back, maybe on your shoulder, arm, or a pat on your head as gratitude. but he seems to like kissing the back of your hand a lot...

*turns his head in their direction after kissing your hand*

deuce

I'll be perfectly honest. he doesn't really have much of an impact in terms of the intense aura that should have been felt. he looks a normal degree of angry, that's why the person hasn't gotten chased off even with the clear signs that deuce will be swinging a fist at probes.

unfortunate that's exactly what the person does. despite your clear reaction of disgust they still use you to rile up deuce. cooing at him while reaching for you, and chuckling about how they didn’t even know him, nor is it any of his business to interfere between two... lovers?

oh so they wanted to impact? they're gonna get one right now 👊 since it seems like they want to get to know him so bad they can get well acquainted with his fists, you know?

he made a promise to himself not to get involved with these type of mishaps! or at the very least resort to more peaceful methods than using violence as a sort of communication. the guilt eats him up a little but he thinks he'd never stand for someone who would disrespect you so blatantly!

almost comically, he looks like he spouts a pair of ears that of a dog's and turns to you. looking more apologetic compared to the fiery look he had a second ago, if he had a tail it would be tucked between his legs out of shame or something.

"I'm really sorry," he says. sulking. deuce apologizes to you, not for his choice of knocking out this random in the middle of the street but because of the fact that he did it in front of you. (also he's kinda jealous...)

if asked, he can, and WILL do it again.

don't blame him though! discreetly whisks you away to grab a bite. having literally no regards to the body looking like it's soul got knocked out laying, and looking out of place on the ground. maybe someone will check on them but definitely not him, they deserve it!

kalim

gasps loudly. "noooo!"

which is like a public proclamation that seeing that did everything but please him. which also means he's basically admitting he's jealous in an indirect way, might as well just say he likes you or something (he probably will if asked because he thinks it's nothing worthy of hiding.)

bounds up to you asking who that is quite loudly to the point where it would seem like he just stumbled upon you cheating on him. it doesn't help that he actually looks sad, teary and all. jamil is off, having paused in his trail since he was previously chasing the boy who ran off.

now he isn’t sure if he wants to get involved now. this is so embarrassing.

lowkey other student would just look back and forth to you, then to kalim. the latter in question unintentionally ignored his existence to be honest, since he was too busy shaking your shoulders and probing the answer of you.

"why would you kiss a stranger...?" he trails off, you did answer. kalim is genuinely wondering to himself if it was that easy cause damn, he scratches his head. that made no sense (says the guy who is making no sense.)

he makes it so obvious that he's pondering with the finger under his chin, eyes lost pointed at the air and the unnecessary loud humming... at this point the atmosphere became more awkward because you and the student is staring at him in bewilderment.

drag him off please, and explain it to him elsewhere. public is NOT a good place. so instead of him saving you out of a situation like this, you save him? talk about being built different...

vil

what in the sevens... he surely hopes his eyes are working correctly lest he needs contact lens, or glasses for that matter. either way he'll positively be as beautiful as he ever was.

although he's very pleased that someone notices the extent of your beauty, there are... other ways to express fondness admiration for you, and vil just can't respect someone who doesn't seem to have any shame for themselves for pressing on boundaries.

so this... fool clearly is a mere taint on your image!!! rid of them immediately! you needn't dirty your pretty mouth, rook does love cleansing the world of dirt like them so it's for the better good if they just never dare to appear to your face ever again.

what better way to hurt someone than aim for their pride? *trash talks so good about their attitude that they actually be pondering their life choices*

don't get him wrong. he doesn't like them, like at all. vil can full well do more damage by nit picking details about them they probably aren't even aware of but he'd never willingly give another person a reason to be insecure about themselves, even if they did terrible things.

plus, there's better ways to teach someone a lesson. they'll learn.

who wouldn’t be scared of an angry vil? they scampered away pretty quickly from a few words, even quicker when he mentioned rook but it's their problem to be paranoid whether the hunter is following them or not to be honest.

frets over you right after. living the dream.

[saintqueer]

I'm sorry you got harassed again just from a simple post with a (imo pretty valid) opinion. If that person is the same that answered your post by reblogging and repplying on their blog with unnecessary hate (apparently queer but a solo louie) then it's the one I just blocked. I love to currate my experience in this fandom. Anyway I just wanted to say, I used to love your posts in this fandom! I lost track of your blog and thought you'd disappeard. I'm glad to see you're still on Tumblr and enjoying other fandoms. I'm well aware of how toxic this fandom can get (between the hets, the solos often queer themselves but hating on queer larries and more, to many groups to count tbh, louis' attitude on social media ect), especially when you dare to voice an opinion, which I'm mostly don't lol. I'm staying for the art, the fics, the great memes and ofc the music and the people. You're "y'all" made me think 'I Hope she still got good times and friends out if it. I made some great friends in the larries bunch myself. Anyway sorry for the rant, I lost track of what was my point here. Just was happy to see you pop on my dash through a mutual and wanted to say so I guess?? So once again thank you for the fun times I had reading your posts back in the days; have a great time out here, enjoying your favs fandoms, you do you! Sending love xx

so i was trying to avoid posting any anons regarding prev fandom discourse but i opened this one and read it through and it was just so amazing i had to respond, not just in tags 🥹🥹

of course, it's lovely to hear that you liked my posts on fandom back in the day etc but what really got me was when you wanted to make sure i still got good times and friends out of it, that nearly made me cry

because YEAH I FUCKING DID 🥺😩🥺🥹🥲

blue ( @wastelandbabyblue ) is literally one of the coolest people i've ever known while also being one of the kindest and funniest. id literally kill to meet her one day in person. i still keep up with brenda and several others i met in her og discord, some of which are the only remaining 1d fandom blogs i still follow here - they are so kind and funny and i still talk to them occasionally in a fandom discord i stayed in because i didn't want to lose touch with them.

and 🥹🥹🥹

i met 8 of who i would consider my closest friends in the whole world through fandom. through the most insane wild and unruly fandom discord drama, i literally located my found family: wedo, nino, iza, katja, olia, hanis, chloe, and su

we talk everyday still even though we live all over the world and we talk about nearly everything except fandom nowadays and they've helped me survive living day to day through some of the worst moments of my life. i don't know what i'd do if i didn't have them in my life

last night, i had a bit of a shame spiral thinking about all the time energy money i devoted to the 1d fandom. i felt embarrassed for being so loud about something that ended in so much disappointment. it wasn't fun and i know it was probably triggered by being involved in some discussions i hadn't been in so long

so when i opened this ask, anon, it reminded me so much that whatever was lost from that time, so much more was gained. the embarrassment of remembering dancing around like a fool with a rainbow flag for someone who couldn't even say something as simple as "look at all those colors" pales in comparison to the lifelong friendship i gained with these 8 beautiful women all across the globe

nothing will ever compare to the people i met and the way they feel closer to family than any of my blood ever felt

i'm glad that you found so much goodness as well and thank you for reminding me that it was all worth it for what i got

[my-dark-lord]

Hi! I wanted to ask, is there a way to read more about your ocs in hellaverse? I just kinda like other people ocs very much lol

Hey! I'm so sorry this is running so late, Nonny, I meant to reply sooner than this but I tend to get distracted super easily. I've got the ADHD pretty bad and in my past life I was the goldfish that made scientists think they all had five second memories.

At any rate, I have quite a few Hellaverse OCs! A lot of fankids and then quite a few surrounding Ozzie or Valentino. I've been working more with the ones that deal with Val, lately, which are mostly Darío, Ostello, and Anya!

The main OCs I have are Ostello, Anya, Darío, Ozzie's Parents (Abstemiounessa and Valore), Archangel Uriel, Leviathan, Magpie, Vick, and then a few others that I don't do much with. I also have fankids but that may be for another time.

I literally just reworked Ostello's bio and took it from 364 words to 1,101 words and updated a lot of information that had become wrong as I wrote him. Anya recently got upgraded from OC that I didn't really do anything with to OC that I'm using a lot more.

They're all on my RP blog, @e-m-p-error, though a lot of them need a little reworking. For now, I can share Ostello and Anya's info here! I've been working on them most recently. Ostello is Valentino's ex-husband and Anya is his Personal Assistant!

It's under a cut for length. Ostello's info is LONG. All art by me.

Anya

Human Name: Anya Kazlow

Name In Hell: Anya

Nicknames: Annie Baby, Yaya

Faceclaim: My/Friend’s Art

Original Universe: Mainverse

Age: 30 (When He Died); 37 Years Dead

Birthday: April 30th, 1956 (Taurus)

Deathday: December 5th, 1986

Height: 6'8"

Gender: Cis Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Sexuality: Bisexual Bimantic, Ambigamous

Species: Gorgon Sinner

Snake Color: Red and White

Eye Color: Pale red sclera, bright green irises

Occupation: Valentino’s Personal Assistant

Headcanon Masterlist

When Anya was alive, she worked in a veterinarian’s office that saw a lot of exotic pets owned by bad people. There were all kinds of things that she had to overlook in her line of work, including humans that had bullet wounds or other such injuries. She doubled as a nurse when she had to, and learned how to take care of human and animal injuries alike. Always having been nurturing and gentle, she was well-loved by the Russian mafia in her town in Belarus and ended up getting married to a lower-ranking member after tending to him for one summer.

She was shot on their wedding day when a rival cell infiltrated the wedding and killed as many of the people there as they could. She died holding her lover’s hand, and vowing revenge. This never came to fruition.

Meeting Valentino not long after she fell, Anya was hired on to be his PA after she ended up gentling him through an injury that he obtained in a turf war. She happened to be there at the time, and he decided having a medically minded personal assistant would be a good idea. She sold her soul to him, and being an important member of his team, she was given the golden tooth that Angel Dust and Val both had. She is in love with Valentino, but he only sees her as a friend. She’s mostly okay with this because it’s worth it just to be near him. It is her job to handle most things that Vox doesn’t handle for him. This can be anything from cast lists to work schedules to bartending if he needs someone to cover a shift. If Val needs it done, she’ll do it.

Her snakes are Frog Eating Rat Snakes, and because of this, they have bacteria in their mouths. If she bites you, it is an immediate, violent, and disgusting case of leprosy that can kill in minutes. She has only ever bitten three people, and she usually doesn’t, but she will absolutely do it if it is necessary.

Anya is very nosy and always likes to be up on the latest gossip and whatever juicy things are going on around Val. She will pry into his business while she takes care of him while he’s drunk so she is abreast of the latest drama.

Ostello 

Human Name: Oscar Lawrence

Name In Hell: Ostello

Nicknames: Tello, Baby (Valentino Exclusive), Broadway (@strangeandun-muse-ual’s Vox Exclusive)

Faceclaim: My Art/Al Pacino

Original Universe: Mainverse

Birthday: January 21st, 1899

Human Deathday: May 3rd, 1944

Demon Deathday: February 9th, 1980 (Assassinated by Val with a Holy spear)

Age: 45 (When He Died As A Human); 36 Years Dead (When Killed By Val); 80 Years Dead (In Heaven)

Gender: Cis Male

Sexuality: Homosexual Homoromantic Ambigamous

Species: Badger Sinner

Height: 6'8"

Relation: Valentino’s Ex-Husband (Widowed)

Occupation: Overlord, Pop-Jazz Singer, Arms Dealer

Headcanon Masterlist

When he was alive, his name was Oscar Lawrence. Oscar was the son of Ruth and Samuel Lawrence, their only child. Marty was his father’s best friend, his right-hand man in the fire department, and his wife’s affair partner. Oscar knew about the affair for approximately a year before his father died on Christmas day when he was ten years old. A year after his father’s death, Marty was his stepfather, and while he never held any express animosity toward him, he never called Marty his father. His mother and Marty had two kids together who were twelve and fourteen years younger than he was, and he was never particularly close to his half-siblings.

At seventeen, he had dropped out of school and gone to work in a club in Omaha. He was discovered singing one of the numbers from a nightly show while cleaning by his boss, who loved his sound and gave him his own attempt at playing a show one Saturday night. For starters, he did a few covers of things that he had heard and ended the night on a song he’d written himself. His lyrics were filled with a longing he became known for, a desire for something he could never have. It became something that was so Oscar Lawrence to long, to pine so genuinely and openly that it was impossible to separate from him. So much of his music was about barely scraping his fingertips against the thing he longed for, and nobody could ever quite get out of him what it was.

When he was twenty, he met Olivia, his wife-to-be. She fell for him, hard and fast, and he never felt much. But it was a suspicious thing for a man his age not to have a wife, and he liked Olivia enough to live with her. Oscar was rarely home, out touring and recording a lot, but at twenty-one their daughter, Gertrude “Gertie” Rose Lawrence was born. He rarely saw her, and when he was home, he was usually sad and drunk. Gertie doesn’t remember much of her dad, but his biggest sin with her was neglect. He never rose his hand against her or her mother, and he was never particularly cruel.

However, he did cheat on his wife. Often while he was on tour, he could sleep with any woman that wanted him in ways he found impossible to do with his wife at home. Like many singers of his time, he also had a stage presence on the silver screen. Much like he found many temporary replacements for his wife, he found a semi-permanent replacement for his daughter as a mentor to Shirley Temple.

If there was something as Oscar Lawrence as pure, unadulterated longing, it was a desire to run from what he did have with that same desperation.

His biggest sin in life was that he was gay in a time when that was very highly frowned upon, and it was a well-kept secret. Nobody knew about it, and he never once acted on it while he was alive.

When he died in 1944, it was a slow, painful, and disorienting death alone in a hospital half a country away from his family. His wife and daughter flew out to see him just in time to say goodbye, and he couldn’t recall who they were. He died of acute liver failure that had progressed under the radar of his manager who had been busy working him through the holidays.

Olivia sued the company for negligence that led to her husband’s death, and she and Gertie continued to never want for anything but the man whom they owed their cushy lives to. Neither could say they knew him before he died, and after they would know him even less.

Oscar sort of expected to fall into Hell, and when he did, he was unsurprised. For a few months, he just tooled around, feeling out his new abilities and appearance as a badger. He discovered early on that he had pyrokinesis and it was something of a novelty for a while.

One night while walking the streets and experimenting with it in the lonely hours of the morning, he gave a fireball too much juice and shot an Overlord on her way back from a big deal. He didn’t expect it, and it led to a huge fight between the two of them in which Ostello accidentally became the victor. It was a hard fight and when her gun was knocked from her hands, he managed to grab it in the ensuing wrestling for it. Unbeknownst to him, it was loaded with holy bullets, and ended in her demise.

Her attendants, who had scattered during the fight, came to him to tell him that he was now in charge of her territory as long as nobody else took it, and he took the responsibility fairly seriously. This didn’t stop him from pursuing a musical career on top of the weapons dealing, of course, but it was somethingi that he did want to do to the best of his ability.

Ostello, as he eventually renamed himself, became a rather beloved fixture of the Pentagram. He was hard to upset and treated his workers with dignity and respect. They were paid well, especially those who gathered holy metals during the Extermination, and he never went so far as to treat any of them cruelly.

He worked with Alastor to produce radio shows and sang live several times for him. When Vox eventually came around, Ostello left Alastor’s employ to work under a label that Vox owned. He performed for him there, with concerts and other such things, until the day he was killed. His music is still fairly popular and played in several Voxtech buildings.

In 1972, he met Valentino, and in two months married the moth. He was a devoted husband who wanted nothing more than to make his wife happy, and he spent the next eight years absolutely enamored by him. However, Valentino had never really been in love with him, and in 1980 used a holy spearhead pilfered from Ostello’s own armory to kill him.

Due to his love for Valentino driving him to be a much, much happier and better person, when he died he was reincarnated in Heaven. He dislikes Heaven very much because he misses Valentino and was reunited with Olivia. He does not know that Gertie is in Hell. He has been watching Valentino in Hell for years and is abreast with the latest things going on in his life at all times.

[17magpiesinatrenchcoat]

pinned post

hey!! I’m lori. I use she /her pronouns, and I am autistic and anxious, so I’m not the best at being social hrhhshsh

cult of the lamb/hollow knight/slay the princess/the magnus archives enjoyer 🫶🫶

my favourite characters are pale king and lurien (hk) narinder and leshy (cotl) and madeline (celeste) 🫶🫶

tumblr freaks me out a bit, so I mostly just dump my art here and lurk on my favourite artists’ blogs, I am much more active on my instagram of the same username

DNI: any sort of bigot, proshippers(personal comfort reasons, I refuse to be involved in any discourse please do not ever involve me in it), weirdos in general, vivziepop fans, AI “artists”, anyone under 13 (what are you doing on here!!!!)

I am socially anxious, so I will take a while to respond to dms and stuff, and tumblr is pretty much the worst place to talk to me anyways LOL

I use mobile exclusively so if anything is formatted weirdly, that’s why

my art contains bright colours and may be eyestrainy if you’re sensitive to that stuff, or very occasional body horror/mild gore, please be aware

my art is tagged with #my art , my hollow knight au stuff is tagged with #hk bleak sunrise au, reblogs are tagged with #strawberreblog , random ass text posts are tagged with #shut up lori

PLEASE SEND ME ASKS!! I love asks!!

I am aroace sapphic (aka I think girls are pretty but I don’t want to do anything about it lmao) and bc I am aroace anything suggestive/nsfw makes me uncomfortable, so please be mindful of that. I do have the tags blocked, so it’s probably fine but don’t try to talk to me about anything like that please

I DO NOT ALLOW REPOSTS, EVER. If you see any of my art NOT on here or Instagram with the 17magpiesinatrenchcoat username, please tell me. If you want to use one of my artworks as an icon or whatever, ASK. And I will only allow it for fanart, not any of my OCs/original designs.

I think that’s it!! I will update this as I go if I want to add any more.

[maschotch]

hello I've been an on-and-off CM enjoyer(?) for a decade, with Hotch being my main area of interest… I just spent literal hours going through your blog lol. tbh it was exactly the kind of CM content I desperately wanted but had trouble finding initially (jfc the sea of x reader I had to wade through) anyway I stopped watching full eps at around S5, but I'm aware of how things go for Hotch and I'm v bitter about the missed opportunities. maybe a popular opinion in the fandom, but I've always hated how the Foyet attack was glossed over for example - my disbelief when I first watched 5x02 and Hotch just... shows up to work?? why'd they bother with such a major injury if its consequences were limited to one (1) episode years later, and even then the mental trauma was 99% ignored. no mention of meds/painkillers/recovery? nothing about "your scars are gonna look just the same"?? BUT that almost pales in comparison to all the other Hotchner things you got me thinking about, like his subtle aversion to fire or autistic traits or other facets of his character/relationships that are soooo tantalizingly hinted at but not expanded upon. I don't know the whole show that well so idk how Hotch fared compared to other characters but it felt like we got crumbs, especially since he was there for 11 goddamn seasons sorry this is so long but I've never talked CM to anyone before and you've made me love Hotch even more as a character, and now I'll have to further stew in my despair over him getting zero closure

i have similar issues with the show and fandom. the show looooves to traumatize its characters and then pretend it didnt even happen the second the arc is over. i understand its the nature of an episodic show like this (and i love that style for this show! i do!) but they could MENTION how hotch has scars (especially in season 10 when theyre all comparing scars on the plane) or how he needs medication (considering thats the only reason why they found foyet in the first place). foyet was the first big arc, so i understand why they needed to get on with it and bring hotch back to work by 5x02, but i wish they’d had an extra episode in between dealing with the team’s emotions about their leader being attacked (the way we kinda see them reeling from haley’s death and the potential of hotch not returning in 5x11 (or whatever the next ep after 100 is)).

no matter who your favorite cm character is, anyone can have the same complaint of them not following through about what undergoing these kind of traumatic events would mean for the characters. it’s definitely a sore point with criminal minds. especially because the only time they do it is when they want a character to leave (like gideon, blake, and kate). it fucking sucks bc there’s so much potential

and that’s where i feel like the fandom lets me down too. there’s not a lot of talk about it—mostly it’s just self inserts and shipping. there’s hardly any good character analysis out there, but that’s why i started this blog in the first place: if it doesn’t exist, make it yourself! (i would encourage you to do the same if you still feel this way. i talk shit ab the fandom all day but i still get so much positivity despite that from people who value the characters just as much but express it differently)

sorry for getting to this ask so late! maybe you’ll come across it eventually. if you do, let me know your other thoughts on the show/fandom! if youve seen more, if youve interacted more, or if you just have more to say!

[lavenderedhoney]

Still wanting asks about taking t for an androgynous look? :3 if not just ignore me lol :3

I have been off and on T for a little over a year, and I've had a great experience! I wanted T for a long time but wasn't sure about it. But I got on it for different medical reasons and WOO I love it so much! I do injections, a 0.25ml dose (considered a smaller dose, like a starting dose or half dose).

I've got a couple dozen adorable chin hairs and a pale little fwuffy mustache thing going on (irrelevant to public presentation bc I always wear a mask) and my legs and thighs and butt cheeks have gotten adorably fluffier! My nipples have WAY better sensations during sex? Previously I didn't really even like them touched but now it's great. Unsure if they're more sensitive or less sensitive or just different, so I have no idea how it might change for other people. Oh!! AND t has made my whole boobs kinda...smaller??? Different density? They're different for sure. I can look semi-flat with a hoodie, and it's almost flatter looking without a bra underneath. A tight shirt under a jacket looks very androgynous, tho you can still see the shape of boobies because mine are medium/large sized. But I get gendered as a man and a woman looking like that so :3 idk what cis ppl see lol

The tdick is my favorite part!!! I literally can't even remember what it looked like before, my brain just kinda yeeted that information. I'm so in love with the tdick. Its been growing slowly but steadily this whole time. The first couple weeks had a LOT of growth, and then it's just been sliiiiiiightly changing a little more ever since. First it was mostly a change in sensitivity, but recently it's changed how pressure feels, and specifically feels better being stroked. It's definitely a little less sensitive, but in a good way? Pre-T, it was easy to feel like "okay that's too much sensory, it's unpleasant now," but I dont experience overwhelming sensations much (and when i do, its always specifically on the head, so i can just adjust how the hood/foreskin is positioned to fix it! It's neat!) so it's a welcome change for me! Its been fun to notice it change more and more! And of course it's gotten bigger. I think it's probably a great size to use for oral penetration but I haven't gotten to test that out lol. It seems like it tends to have a little growth spurt when I happen to stop and then restart t (usually bc Pharmacy Issues)? Unsure if that's just my imagination.

But yeah! The changes have been very slow but steady, and I've had lots of time to ponder how I feel about all of it and make sure I'm enjoying all the changes. And I do enjoy them all! I wasn't sure about some of them; but my feelings are very warm and giddy whenever I notice a new change.

I do worry about like, presenting in public. I get gendered as a man and a woman pretty regularly. Has it caused any issues? Well, maybe, but not much more than pre-T. My voice is still in a "gets seen as a woman" range but it has the *loveliest* velvety tone when I talk in a lower voice. I've gotten a surprising number of compliments on it! But as for visual presentation, I am very much in an Androgynous Range. I can do the transmasc-hoodie-and-shorts, pitch my voice lower, and pass as a guy (or sometimes strangers mistake me for a teenage boy which can be frustrating). But I can also pass a woman if I want, especially with a more feminine shirt or just by shifting my voice into the High Pitched Customer Service Range lol (though I also get mistaken for a teenage girl. Idk. I just have a younger looking face I guess) My curves have gotten smaller (hips, boobs, etc) which I THOUGHT I'd be sad about--but rather than feeling like I "lost" an attractive part of myself, i just feel like i swapped it for a different, equally attractive form 🥰

I hope this provides some of the data you were looking for, and thanks for the opportunity to ramble about my specific experience on HRT! I check this blog every so often (cos it's super cute) so if you wanted to ask any questions, id probably eventually see it!

Anyways have a good day!

-a nonbiney soft butch creature anon 💜🌸

Thank you thank you!! This is all really helpful. I don't want to pass as a man so I'm definitely going to take it slow but I'm really interested in seeing what T does to my body. Very curious to see how and where I bulk up muscle-wise because I'd LOVE some biceps and also I already have strong legs so it would be cute if they get even bigger. I won't hold my breath for a disguisable chest though lmao (I'm an F cup 😔).

[aircommndr]

𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄'𝐒 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐓

Name: STARSCREAM OF VOS

Alias: Screamer

Gender: Nonbinary, Masc-aligned & Masc-presenting

Age: Ugh I hate trying to out a number to it just know hes adult and hes old but not THAT old lolol

Species: Cybertronian

Zodiac: aquarius / aries / cancer / capricorn / gemini / leo / libra / pisces / sagittarius / scorpio / taurus / virgo / unknown

Abilities / Talents: Starscream is an outlier, so his main ability is his Screech. Its capable of disrupting radio frequencies and breaking glass. He also is quite literally immortal. As for talents, hes very good at persuasion, as well as being shown to be a very capable leader (when he gets his priorities in check). Hes also an amazing flier

Alignment: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil / true

Religion: Agnostic. Much like various others have said, Starscream may agree that the "Gods" Exist/Existed, but he does not follow them. He feels they abandoned Cybertronians and should not be on such a pedestal.

Sins: envy / greed / gluttony / lust / pride / sloth / wrath

Virtues: charity / chastity / diligence / humility / justice / kindness / patience

Languages: Cybertronian, English, Klingon (Thats right bitches, its canon on my blog)

Family: depends on verse

Friends: As close as he gets, Rattrap, his trine / Others verse dependent

Sexual Orientation: heterosexual / bisexual / pansexual / homosexual / demisexual / asexual / unsure / questioning / other

Relationship Status: single / dating / married / widowed / open relationship / other (depends on verse)

Libido: sex god / very high / high / average / low / very low / non-existent

Build: twig / bony / slender (holoform, mostly with lean muscle) / average / athletic / curvy / chubby / obese

Hair: white / blonde / brunette / red / black (holoform) / other (N/A)

Eyes: brown / blue / green / black / other (red) (auburn, holoform)

Skin: pale / fair / olive / light brown (holoform)/ brown / very brown / black / other (grey)

Height: under 3 foot / 3-4 foot / 4-5 foot / 5-6 foot (holoform, 5'7) / 6-7 foot / above 7 foot (25 ft)

Weight: under 100 pounds / 100-150 pounds / 150-200 pounds / 200-250 pounds / above 250 pounds (i have no idea im bad at math)

Scars: Various scars across his frame, hes been through enough to gather quite the collection

Facial Features: Sharp. Handsome ;)

Tattoos: Never thought about it till now... hm. Fuck it, ya boy has a tramp stamp (or would we call it a bumper sticker in this fandom???) that says "Transform and Rise Up". He got it back in the Early Days of the war and nowadays he just tries to hide it LOL

Dogs or Cats?

Birds or Hamsters?

Red or Blue? (tough choice he likes blue lol)

Yellow or Green?

Black or White?

Coffee or Tea?

Ice Cream or Cake?

Fruits or Vegetables?

Sandwich or Soup?

Magic or Melee?

Sword or Bow?

Summer or Winter?

Spring or Autumn?

The Past or The Future?

tagged by: @blackwldcw and @13urningstars i think?

tagging: @warriorsparked (for meg and/or shocky, whoever u wanna) , @manaborn , @biggest-ultra-mags , @staticsqueaks , @trustme-imamedic , anyone else who wants to

[battle-of-alberta]

What would Ed and Cal be like if they were ladies? Have they/would they ever dress in dresses/drag?

This sure is a popular question lol either someone knows my other blogs or has been noticing the hints

in the spirit of the “ed is the gay cousin of the province” stereotype as well as the spirit of “we have renamed our expo so many times to the point that we voted to call it K Days after the organizers tried and failed to break free of the Klondike theme” and also “hapo is lowkey obsessed with this historical event” i finally officially present Klondyke Kate to the blog.

Ed doesn’t exclusively do historical drag nor is he pressingly concerned with accuracy 100% of the time but for Kate’s debut I wanted to do something that was clearly inspired by the period she originated from, the 1890s (aka that gilded era that the met gala folks failed so spectacularly at). Klondyke Kate is also mostly inspired by Kathleen Rockwell who also bore the moniker.

The issue with combining Victorians and modern drag is that the makeup is the polar opposite of exaggerated, this was a time when adding colour to your cheeks and lips automatically branded you a painted lady (though obviously Kate isn’t above a little cheating and she also has the occasional dalliance with 20th century gay nineties makeup, hence the nails). There’s a little bit of oil on the eyelids for shine, dark thick eyebrows, and a smattering of gold dust here and there.) Kate also would go fairly heavy on concealer and powdering her face and neck to be as pale as possible!

The event referred to here is the “All Canadian Route” to the Klondike gold fields: local boosters and outfitters advertised the overland route through Edmonton as preferable to taking a steamship up from Seattle or Victoria to Alaska. Lots of really dumb people got really taken advantage of and either gave up and went home, gave up and hung around Edmonton, or died. (This is one reason why the Edmonton exhibition folks aren’t a fan of the theme even if Edmonton did turn a big profit from it.)

Would the others do drag...? Would Calvin? I think he would certainly be much more reticent about it and it’s hard for me to imagine circumstances other than a. a bet lost or b. a begrudging promise for one of his sister’s charity/fundraising events (just d-don’t spread any photos!)

[nightly-ruse]

I posted 1,322 times in 2022

That's 1,322 more posts than 2021!

241 posts created (18%)

1,081 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lockandkeyhyena

@spottyissleepwalking

@fallow-foot

@cryptidclaw

@cricketchirps-stuff

I tagged 1,320 of my posts in 2022

#ruse reblogs - 985 posts

#not my art - 255 posts

#night knacks - 114 posts

#important - 96 posts

#warrior cats - 78 posts

#ruse’s warrior cats - 69 posts

#leafpool - 54 posts

#inspiration - 49 posts

#art inspo tag - 46 posts

#mothwing - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#of him. it’s sad and hard on her. she both can’t be around him bc of his relations to her mate but can’t let him go bc he’s all she has left

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Standing by my shoes a flower is blooming. Fire flowers filled the night with their booming. Maybe in the sky, I could leave behind my heart and it’s weeping. Summer days are all that I am dreaming~

A rose colored glasses Mothwing picking flowers across the river. Fireworks Beneath my Shoes is such a mothpool song I adore it so much and was listening to it on loop while drawing this- I’m sketching a anthro piece with these with moth and leaf right after I post this with this song again lol

(ID- Mothwing is standing to the left with her head looking to the camera and pretty orangy amber eye looking off to the right. Her front paw is up and a woven satchel hangs off it, small purple flowers inside it just like the ones dotting the ground under their paws. She is a peachy orange kind of color with brown down their back, mane, hair floof, and tail. A white stripes goes down from their chin, chest, and belly with a moth marking on her chest just like the one on their back which is brown instead. Willow leaves hang off her ears on two tendrils with two more bracelets of it on her tail and a lilypad on their tail. Under them is very messy windswept grass, small purple flowers dotting it and a river right at the base which her tail sweeps over. Behind them os a massive willow tree mostly just showing off its hanging leaves. Watercolor shading is across the whole piece with mostly purples, blues and pinks and over that shading is a general wash of pinks. Version without the pink overlay underneath. End ID)

See the full post

33 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

#4

Mothpool my loves<3333

I am so tired so I’m just gonna post and pass out lol but I wanted to draw them. Also changed my Leafpool design to be more Leafpool, her other eye is the same green but with blue while her left is green with orange. Cuddle cats <<3333333

(ID- Leafpool is laying down with her back against a tree, her tail curled up, and her paws around Mothwing who is cuddled into her. Leafpool is a light brown with orange markings on her cheek, nose, tail, paws, and side. Cream is on her belly, muzzle, ear tufts, tail tip, and toe tips. A darker color stripes around her pelt with a few black markings on her hair, tail tip, and back leg. She is looking down at Mothwing with a sweet amber and green eye, a small smile on her face. Mothwing is curled up on Leaf with her front leg over Leaf’s side, her other wrapped under, his tail swooping up, and his back leg curled up. She is mostly pale yellow with peach on her face, ears, and back legs. And brown is on her hair, mane, tail, back, and paws with a darker brown striped down her tail on her paws, on her back legs, on her muzzle, and on her hair tuft. Light cream is on her belly, chin, paws, and tail tip. He is sleeping with a soft expression. Grass is under them with purple flowers dotting the grass, a tree on the left, and purple shading across them with light pink highlights. End ID)

41 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#3

Demon inspired Mapleshade for @bonefall ‘s “Better Call Mapleshade” au that I adore. She’d definitely stand out in Starclan and everyone pretty much on sight would know she’s from the DF. I think her hooves would make that clop clop clop noise as she walks and as she strolls up to the her council all the cats who don’t like her (mostly Moth Flight) all they hear is her hooves and know exactly who’s about to show up. She’s amazing and I love this design so much.

(ID- Mapleshade is standing to the left with her head slightly turned to the right and back legs sprawled out to give her a wider stance, her back front paw raised up and her tail twisting upwards. She is a cherry red kind of color with dark almost black back legs, streaks down her eyes, and on her ears. Over her face is a mask shape in a darker red that also goes down her back, and dripping down her front leg. Her fur has a very wavy almost weightless feel especially on her face and on her ears twirls in a cyclone like shape, the same as inside her ears and on her tail. Her chest, paws, tail, ear tufts, and inner ear tufts are mixes of a pink and pale almost white pink color. Her white mane twisted to make a sort of cravat shape. The end of her tail is twisted to make a spade referring back to devil tail imagery and her back paws are replaces with hooves. Her sclera are black with a flame for her pupil and the same flamey colors on her eyelashes. On the corner of her lip is a little heart beauty mark in black. Her lineart has a bright magenta over it giving into the evil feel. End ID)

Also just for Refrence Maple is HUGE especially compared to Moth Flight who is pretty short lol. She’s massive and I love her.

42 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

#2

Ratatattstststtst

Knew how I wanted to draw these two so I drew Apo and Owen! Took a bit to get used to more human proportions but I like how they came out. The minute I saw parkour on Apo’s sheet I knew I had to draw him in a tree, little rat guys. Semi made to parallel eachother even tho we don’t know if they’ll be close in RatsSMP.

(Apo is the first image and is sat on a tree branch with dark spruce leaves all around him, his pink rat tail curled up to him and little rat paws holding onto the branch. He has dusty brown hair that swoops up under his rounded ears and falls over his eyes. He has a big nose and mischievous Berry colored eyes. A short red coat is over his shoulders with a blue stripes shirt under and black pants. The faint signature “Nightly Ruse” is on his tail)

(Owen is the second image and is sitting with his legs hanging over a block of wood. He has orange-ish brown eyes and a kind expression on his face, tufts on his chin and pink ears like his tail. His hair is a brown with pointier ears, a thicker rat tail, and sharper nose. Glasses are on his head with a earring pierced through his back ear. His shirt is a brick kind of red with brown on his rolled up sleeves and collar. A green cloth is wrapped his waist and a piece flies off to the right. His back arm is up in a wave with soft yellow light over him and a background of dappled leaves. The faint signature “Nightly Ruse” is on the wood block near his hand.)

46 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Gosh okay but the story of Hawkfrost being a creation of the clans still vying hatred for each other and clear aggression and how power is so easily manipulated is so good. I hate hate hate when he’s just pushed down into ‘born evil/genetic evil’ bc it’s so dumb and I hate it.

He was brought in and immediately outcast. Taken in a horrible time when Riverclan were recovering still from Tigerstar’s claws him and his sister were treated horribly. They both learned that the world isn’t fair and they had to fight for what others were born with. Hawk took this in a more aggressive way, thinking the only way he’d ever be anything was to take it while Moth worked her fur off to show she was good enough at all. He gets praise for being loyal and cruel to outsiders while shamed for holding his heritage or letting his softer side out, especially by his mentor Leopardstar. Others attention on him is like a full belly. He needs it he has to have it. So he trains to be stronger, more charismatic, smart, tougher then his brutish father who was so one sided. The only ones he could be open to were his sister and then his brother. They must be feeling the same way he was? Scrapping for sunshine? But he couldn’t leave them behind he had to get them what they wanted, high spots in the clans just beside him.

Hawk fakes the sign for Moth finally showing she was worthy of being a healer to the tough Mudfin(claw). And he sets up a plan to get Bramble as leader! Seeing his siblings and him prove everyone wrong fuels him with happiness. He’s at the lake. Standing over Firestar with a smile across his face, practically able to taste the power soon to come to his blood. But Brambleclaw won’t accept it? Why can’t he see what they can become? Hawk is angry, fueled like his heart was on fire he attacks Bramble but then it stops. A stake through the chest. Pain not from his wound but form the betrayal in his belly. He was so lost in power he fell in a fools way. He was nothing but a blinded firefly, bright but unable to see it for himself.

87 notes - Posted November 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I've been wanting to do a demo on how I do line edits for a while, but the trouble is: it's basically impossible to do a significant amount of this as a blog post. It's just too hard to show my thought process and editing in an easy-to-understand way. I've considered doing it on stream, but I'm not sure anyone has any interest.

Regardless of all that backstory, however, I found this truly ineffective line while editing today, and I thought I could make a short example of it.

It was black, with plating that the pale glow from the light above his shoulder reflected off.

I just want it to be clear that this sentence is long and wordy. So first, let's rearrange this for conciseness.

The pale glow over his shoulder reflected against plating on the black surface.

To be frank: this is still a garbage sentence. But it's also four words shorter, and those words were all kinda empty prepositions and pronouns. Rearranging the sentence to focus on the actual image and objects in this sentence helped.

Let's see what else we can do.

The glow over his shoulder picked out polished silver plating over the black wood and a matching handle.

This time the adjective has been removed from the "glow" and has been added to the "plating" instead. Mostly, because the light source has already been detailed in this scene and isn't needed here (and earlier revisions have also indicated it's not pale...lol), but also because the silver plating is more important in this sentence, because it's what the characters are seeing.

I also changed "surface" to "wood" because it's more specific and sounds, frankly, more like a human would say it.

The detail about the handle has been added mostly because I think it helps really bring the image of the door to life (it's a door. It was mentioned it was a door in the previous sentence, so I didn't repeat that information, but I think you can actually tell that now even without the context).

The light glanced off polished silver plating engraved in black wood and a matching handle.

Wait, more?

I decided I didn't like "picked out" very much as a verb choice here, but I didn't want to go back to "reflect" so I mused over a thesaurus for a bit and came up with this. I'm still uncertain about it, though.

I've also changed "glow" to "light" because it fits better, I think, and cut the location of the light, because I don't think it matters in this sentence so I want less focus on it.

I also added "engraved in" here instead of "over" because: more specific, and putting more details into the mind's eye of my reader.

I think I'll keep this version of the sentence (for now). It's actually only two words shorter now than the original, but I think the words that are there are more relevant and they flow together better than the string of filler words I had before. And I think it's given a lot more information than the original.

[stranger-nightmare]

Happy birthday for Wednesday, lovely! <3 I hope you have a wonderful day. I love your blog - you were one of the first accounts I followed when I returned to tumblr after S4 of ST!

Can I please be shipped with a Stranger Things character if you have time? I'm sure your ask is full of ship requests, but I will patiently wait to see if you get to mine - if you can't because it's too overwhelming, that's okay! no pressure.

I am a 25-year-old, cishet female (she/her). I am 5'9" tall and have an athletic/thin build. I have naturally brown hair but I get it balayaged, so it's mostly a nice creamy golden blonde colour throughout, but with darker roots. I recently got curtain bangs but they are quite long because this is my first time getting them and I wanted to try them out first before committing to shorter ones. My hair is very similar to Matilda Djerf's (if you know who that is). Similar texture/style/volume and cut/colour. I'm pale with a natural pink/red flush to my face, but get a light tan in the Summer. I have green eyes and thick brown eyebrows. I have light freckles across my face and I have my helix/cartilage pierced on one ear. I wear gold jewellery, so I have dainty/minimal solid gold hoops in my ear piercings, and I wear solid gold rings every day. I sometimes wear necklaces, and if I am wearing one, it's usually a dainty/minimal gold one to match all my other jewellery.

I have a bachelors degree in psychology/criminology and I am currently undergoing a masters degree which is a double degree in language/communications and journalism. I plan to be either a radio news journalist or radio talk show host once I finish this degree. This leads me to my next point - I love music! It's literally my life. I can't do anything without having it playing, whether that's driving to/from work or university, cleaning, showering, cooking, etc. I have a very diverse taste in music, which usually just depends on my mood. I love rock, alternative, indie/singer-songwriter, but I also love mainstream pop and country. I also like to listen to hip hop, rap, r&b and grime/drill. I will literally listen to anything! If I had to pick a favourite music artist/group though, it would either be Taylor Swift or Fleetwood Mac.

My style is pretty basic lol. It's very much 'staple' wardrobe pieces that I just mix and match together. My current go-to outfit is inspired by Emma Chamberlain and it's just a midi length high-waisted satin black skirt, white crew socks bunched up, platform black loafers and a white cropped tank top.

I'm an empath, so I feel things super hard and can easily cry just from listening to a song that I relate to or by watching a movie or TV show. I never cry in front of other people though because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable or awkward, so all my close friends have actually never seen me cry even though I've seen all of them cry multiple times.

Thank you so much, Hope! Have a wonderful day <3 !!

ooh I think I’d ship you with Nancy!! <33

and tysm !! <3

- hope

[cishetsylveon]

[ICON IMAGE ID: a cream-coloured rabbit-like creature with pale lime green markings lifts its arm in a friendly greeting. it has panda-like markings and is modeled after the Spinda pokemon, but with some modifications. one of its eyes is shaped like an X, and it has a three-fingered paw-like hand with a thumb. it wears a rainbow scarf, and regards the viewer with a slightly dopey, friendly smile. END IMAGE ID]

i keep forgetting pinned posts are a thing on tumblr now lol

anyways hi my name is Spindown (it/its) and my url is ironic. i'm an ace trainer, gym leader-in-training, and pokefur. you can read more about me here [LINK].

not super regular. pokecollege is always kicking my ass.

i don't really have a DNI other than "don't suck", but if 'evil team' members so much as look at my blog i will earthquake you with my aggron. ex-team members are on thin ice.

[OUT OF CHARACTER]

hi this is my pokemonirl blog! because of this, a broad warning for unreality will cover this entire blog. i'm mostly just here to have fun and maybe draw stuff/respond in-character to other pokemonirl posts. i don't really plan to do high-stakes stuff or *roleplay* roleplay on this blog, more ARG-style stuff. spindown does have its own backstory and lore, but it is just a tumblr blogger and not anybody super special.

i'll eventually add a page to the blog compiling its canon as i build it but i try to stick with what the broad pokemonirl community agrees on. because spindown is from the 'mainline' pokemon games, 'pokemon using tumblr' type blogs will be regarded as roleplayers by it. sorry!

other pokemonirl-specific tws include pokemon consumption and probably discussion about the ethics of battling, breeding, and caring for pokemon. also spindown has a bit of a thing about evil team members, especially team magma and aqua. hoenn-raised behaviour, you know how it is.

you can send asks to spindown if you want! it will answer them when it gets the time (i.e. i have energy). i might not answer every ask and i get Nervous about doing stuff like this, but all in all i just wanna be silly :3

[varian-the-unstable-alchemist]

About post bc I need one

So here's an about post for my version of Varian-

Im going to try and organize it as best I can, but it's probably going to be kinda Cluttered (pun very much intended)

I should've made this ages ago asdfyuiokjbv

This should be updated accordingly, so if there's any info you'd like to know, I'll add it here!

As always, if you'd like more elaboration on something here, please feel free to DM me!

Jeez this turned out long-

***

This is an ask/rp blog for my version of Varian from Tangled The Series!

Name: Varian (duh)

Age: 17 (March 24th birthday)

Gender/Pronouns: Trans male, He/Him

Sexuality: Demiromantic, biromantic, and asexual

Deaths: 50

Kills: 29

Relationships:

Iris, Boyfriend? Maybe?

Lav, Brother, (Adopted)

Bubble, Sister, (Adopted)

Indigo, Brother, (Adopted technically, though they're also technically the same person sooo?)

Cassandra, Half-sister, (Biological, they share a dad)

He has a ton of friends too but I don't want to list them lol

Physical Appearance:

Short black hair with a bright blue streak, about 4'11" in height, blue eyes, freckles, medium-dark skin tone (My Varian is biracial c:), dark bags under his eyes, and dangerously skinny. Like, seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that. He hardly ever eats at all, and if this were a normal world, he would definitely be dead. It's actually kind of disturbing.

Major scars/sources:

- Permanent brand on his back of his deadname, "Arabella". Given to him by Ender during the 2 week aggression curse

- Many severe scars on his wrists from prison cuffs, appear pale and almost resemble cuts one might see in self-harm, only they're on both wrists and go all the way around

- Burn marks on his left wrist from self-harm (He uses a lighter instead of a knife due to hemophobia)

- He's missing both his hands, one was removed by Cassandra and the other by Lav, both were cursed. His prosthetic hands were made by his brother Indigo

- Scar all the way around his left leg from when it was cut off and then sewn back on. The one who actually cut it off is Atlas, and Varian sewed it back on himself. As a result of this, his left leg is vulnerable to attack, and it does start to hurt if he uses it too much.

- Pale and intricate scars across his face, tracing his freckles together. They make his freckles look like constellations, and they're probably the only scars he thinks look alright. Given to him by Glass under an aggression curse.

Triggers:

- The name "Andrew"

- Promises

- Ice cream

- Chains/Bars

- Amber (Either mentioned or seen)

Fears:

- Blood

- Heights

- Small spaces

- Locked rooms

- Being restrained

- Abandonment

- Rejection

- Being manipulated/deceived

- Betrayal

- Prison

- Authority

- Losing people

- Hurting people

- Losing control

- His abusers

Misc. info:

- He's Autistic and has ADHD (Same as the mun)

- He has severe anxiety and on and off depression

- He also has severe PTSD and can have extreme episodes when triggered

- His mom left when he was very young. (Because she left before he came out, she doesn't even know she has a son.)

- Lots of gender dysphoria

- Major daddy issues

- Major abandonment issues

- Major attachment issues

- Major trust issues

- Just lots of issues in general

- Unbelievable intelligence

- Incredible engineering and alchemical skills

- Just desperately wants someone to love and appreciate him, but has a very hard time letting anyone get close

- Actually super adorable and excitable once he feels safe and comfortable

- He has horrific nightmares every time he sleeps due to trauma and PTSD. He has medication for them, though, and has been trying to get better. He's also looking into antidepressants

I don't touch on this explicitly very often, because of its sensitive nature, but my Varian actually has an eating disorder. It's mainly caused by trauma and is influenced by sensory issues rather than body image. It's also something he'd currently trying to work through.

He has no empathy. Like all items remaining on this list, this is mostly due to being autistic. It's incredibly hard for him to understand other people's feelings. This is a rant for another time, but this does not mean he can't be sympathetic and/or compassionate. (Empathy is a very misused term and in the way it's commonly used, it's very harmful to neurodivergent people. Please DM me if you'd like more info on this because it's too much to get into here-)

Very hard time processing other people's dishonesty (Not to say he can't be dishonest himself, he's actually a very good liar)

He has pretty major Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, a symptom and consequence of ADHD (Mun has lots of personal experience with it, so DM if you'd like more info-)

Backstory:

This is a bit of a longer section, but I'll try to keep it brief!

TW for child abuse.

Varian grew up constantly trying to get his father's attention, his only wish and sole motivation was to make his father proud of him. This quickly turned sour when black rocks started destroying his village when he was 14. His father kept pretending everything was alright, ignoring the problem and even lying to the king. Varian couldn't understand why his father would do this and went behind his back to experiment on the rocks. In the resulting alchemical accident, he trapped his father in impenetrable amber. He ran to the castle and begged Rapunzel for help, since she'd promised him she would, that everything would be okay. Unfortunately, she couldn't. She had a crisis on her hands and simply didn't have the option. In the chaos, the palace guards mistake Varian's pleading for him attacking the princess and drag him out of the castle as he begs and screams for her help.

In addition to this, the king sees variant as a threat. He's spreading information about the rocks, something he's been trying to keep a secret. So, he spreads a rumor about him throughout the kingdom, saying he's dangerous, and sending the royal guard to capture and silence him, and above all, he tried to keep his daughter away from him.

From Varian's point of view, he's completely alone. They already see him as the enemy, and in his eyes, they've made the first attack. He lashes out in anger and despair and uses his unique skills to take revenge, hurting a lot of people in the process and forever cementing his place as an incredible danger to the kingdom in the minds of its citizens, even despite his failure to save his father. As a result of this failed attack, he's thrown in prison, where he meets Andrew.

Andrew was Varian's abuser and his cellmate. He took advantage of his grief-stricken and broken state and pretended to care about him. He manipulated him with false security and false smiles, grooming him to do what he wanted and physically hurting him when he did something he didn't like. He was hurt, manipulated, gaslit, and abused for over a year. Over the course of this, he joined Andrew’s cult (yes, cult), helped him escape from prison, and took over the kingdom, all while being kept under a tight leash by the man who saw himself as his owner. When Varian, with help from Rapunzel, finally started to see that he was on the wrong side, Andrew saw that he was of no more use to him. He immediately turned, was set on making him as miserable as possible, and ultimately attempted to kill him, drinking in his fear, panic, and despair as he attempted the deed.

While he didn’t succeed in killing him, Varian never truly recovered from that betrayal, only worsening the attachment, abandonment, and trust issues created by being turned away at the castle.

There's so much more in the CD and the rest, plus I'm skipping over a ton, but I'm really fuggin tired. Maybe I'll add it later when I don't have an essay I have to do for literature sdfghjiihv

[bsd-bibliophile]

Survey Dates: November 15, 2020 - December 15, 2020 Number of Participants: 331

You can view and download the full results here.

Comments:

:)

:p

#BringBackYumeno2020

How cool you included translators in this! You ROCK.

bsd kunikida needs a vacation

Bungou Stray Dogs have been a blessing for me ever since I started watching the series last year. I had lost my drive for reading and writing as a hobby, university and disillusionment with the publishing industry killed that, but now I have been revitalized thanks to the series. Not only did it drive me to go back to writing original works, but I have started writing fanfiction again after almost ten years of hiatus from story writing. The BSD online library has been a blessing not only as a source of research for the writers for my fanfic, but also has been the only way that I have been easily been able to get a hold of some works by the authors in English, my preferred reading language. Please keep up the good work! Thank you so much for everything that you have provided for this fandom.

Buraiha,,,, just them

Do not make me choose between Dazai and Chuuya, I cannot, they are both my favs lol.

for the question about how many books by japanese authors i own, i responded with more

Hello friend! Twain’s my favourite in bsd but this is about japanese literature soooo than 10, but to clarify: they are not all from bsd authors.

hello!! just a quick thank you note!! im polish and variety here in japanese literature (either in polish or english) is very limited, but thanks to your website it's very easy to find works i want to read both by japanese or russian authors. i also like the fact that i can read abt the authors' connections and how they influenced each other in their works, and get some historical context. i want to be a translator in the future, so i'm incredibly grateful for this kind of accessibility. keep up the good work and thank you once again!!! <333 - julia sz

I will like to thank you for all the information that you have supplied us on the tumblr page. Also I will like to know if you have any information about "A New Hamlet" the adaptation Dazai made of Hamlet. You will really help me if you know anything about it.

hi, i really enjoy your blog and "no longer human" as well as "the moon over the mountain" are on my christmas list. i hope to learn more about these authors and i wish you a good day!

Hi! Just hope you have a great day!

I am currently learning Japanese and I hope one day I can read these authors works in Japanese instead of a translation

I am interested in reading literary works translated into languages other than English, but have difficulty finding ways to read them. For BSD, I also watch the recordings of stage plays. Also, BSD and the authors have sparked my interest in other Japanese literature (I really like Banana Yoshimoto's books). Lastly, thanks for the online library, it's such a huge help!

I am sad to have to answer that I’ve not read these authors. I just watched the whole anime in the last two weeks and am going to go read some of these authors now. I actually have two literature degrees from US institutions and have become increasingly aware of how awfully western they are. I love this anime and am glad it’s opened me up to these authors. I’m excited to read them.

I can't wait to see what you do with these results!!

I cannot thank you & your blog enough for helping me fall further in love with Bungou Stray Dogs. Keeping so many works in an easy-to-access place is also a total lifesaver--and you just made it all the more easier to realize my love for literature. I know I'm rambling, but thank you so much!

I have a question, is it better to read these Japanese novels in their original language (Japanese) or does it not really matter if you read the English translation? I guess it's a given that reading it in Japanese is more authentic, but I'm just wondering if it's really worth it to learn such a complex language just for the sake of authenticity. Are English translations at least 90% legit anyway?

I have read most Japanese works in English except for the poetry of Nakahara Chūya, which I read in/translated from Japanese.

I have very mixed feeling towards BSD, I prefer the side stories rather than the main plot and I only like a small choice of characters, but I appreciate the series for introducing me to many great authors that I hadn't known.

I hope you have a great day!!

I just found BSD Biblio blog recently, but still I get to know about the real life authors a lot. I can't understand japanese much, so this blog truly helps me to know more about the authors and their remarkable works. I'm greatly appreciate the efforts that had been put on this blog ^^ My deepest gratitude to the translators~♡

I just wanted to say thank you for your big interest in sharing japanese literary œuvres on the internet. Here in Spain there aren't many works translated in spanish, and those that are translated, have a poor translation, except the works of Dazai. Your page lets me enjoy many pieces of art from the great japanese writers!

I love bsd and bsd-bibliophile is a great blog

I love the blog and my favorite things are the quotes! Keep up the good work. <3

I love the universe that taught me to love books.

I love this blog and thank you sm for all the love and hard work you put into it. Thank you.

I love your blog, but I didn't know you had a library! I'm definitely checking it out, since where I live it's not easy to find the books of all the authors and I want to read at least one book of each! ❤️

I love your blog:)

I love your blog!

I love your tumblr! Thank you so much for collecting all the information about the authors!

I LOVE YOUR WEBSITE ITS AMAZING THANK YOUUUU

I love your work and dedication!

I mostly make do with the books that are available in my public library, thus the only physical copy I own is "the key" bu tanizaki (if that's the correct translation of the novel)

I play the BSD mobage; that is about as far as I am into BSD as a fandom, as I've only began a couple months ago.

I prefer print, but ebooks are good when that's what's available. I started reading the BSD manga, but stopped. I enjoy it much more just vicariously through my friends who read the manga and novels. Thanks for providing Japanese lit content all the time! I'm trying to learn Japanese, but I've a long way to go, so it's cool to learn about authors and possible English translations.

I read a lot more Japanese authors than I used to before, due to the anime Bungo Stray Dogs

I really adore what you do. Though I have not been very active in the library due to real life issues, I look forward to sitting down and looking through it!

I really appreciate BSD-Bibliophile. I've learned a lot and I know without it, I might not have gotten this into Japanese literature!

i really enjoy seeing your posts on my feed and reading quotes from various writers. thank you for your effort, i really appreciate it :)

I really like that you share quotes of these authors, they're really interesting to read! :) It also helps me to decide what I want to read next haha

I really want to read the light novels, I wish one day you can upload them! Love this page so much!!

I saw a few posts from your blog on Twitter and I'll definitely follow it from now on! What you all are doing is truly amazing and I wish you and your blog only the best! (I don't have enough free time to dive into as many books as I wish I could, so your blog is really helpful)

I think Asagiri-sensei try to promote these famous Japanese authors and I really glad he did because I actually like the poems and story by these authors and whenever I read you guys post a quote from any of their books, I feels the need to buy the book. Thank you for your hardwork!

I think your work in organizing and encouraging people to engage in Japanese literature beyond the series that introduced them to it is awesome.

I use BSD-Bibliophile so much and am very grateful to have it!

I wanted to read some of Dazai's, Kenji's and Akutagawa's works, but they are hard to find in physical stores

I wanted to thank for both the blog and the online library for granting me acess to works that are either too expensive or not available in my country <3

I'm following BSD for 4 years and I read literature of BSD authors as much as I can. I'm deeply in love with its characters, and I'm delighted every time I discover the references from the real life authors and their works. I recommend for those who want to go in-depth with BSD to read the literature, or at least learn about the real life authors. It worths the time. You'll love BSD even more, and maybe the real life authors and their works as well.

I'm new to Bungou Stray Dogs, and I plan on getting my hands on the manga soon! and also the works of the real authors the characters are based off of. :)

I'm so thankful for the site! Since I can't afford the actual book, I am able to read them thru here and if you don't mind, please add Hagiwara Sakutaro's Hownling at The Moon and Kikuchi Kan's Beyond the Pale of Vengeance. Thank you!

I'm so thankful to the amount of effort put into this blog. Thank you so much.

I've been following you for years, your blog is one of my favorites. Thanks for all you do!

I've come by this website a few times, but today is the first time I've really read anything on here. The posts provide a lot of insight. I'll definitely be coming back here to make use of the online library. Thanks for making this available!

I've read and enjoyed Dazai's works, and he's the one I choose for favourite, but it's hard - if I had to choose a second I'd go with Chuuya's poetry. I've somehow wound up reading and re-reading it both for reference in my own works, and just because I want to, when I like.

I've thoroughly enjoyed all the works I've found through this series and I highly recommend people look into Tachihara's poetry! He's my favorite poet ever and his work is highly underrated. 

I'm very thankful for this blog. It's heaven-sent for a booklover and fan of Japanese literature for me. I'm sure you're constantly trying to update the library, but there are a few very rare books I've always wanted to read but I'm not sure if I'll get to. Can you add "Azamukazaru no Ki" by Kunikida Doppo? I'm not sure if there exists an English translation, but I'd be eternally grateful even if you uploaded the original Japanese (actually, I would prefer that to the translation, even though it would take a million years for me to decipher the whole of it, at my level of knowledge of the Japanese language. Japanese and English being poles apart in grammatical structure, a lot of the nuances of a Japanese piece is lost in a translation, and this being a record of Kunikida's innermost feelings, I would prefer to read the original.) I also want to read the reports Kunikida made while he was a war correspondent during the Sino-Japanese war, that made him famous as a writer and journalist, but I'm not sure if those could be available. Please include Kunikida's wonderful poetry too. I have mostly read some them in the original Japanese, or Bengali translations made by a senpai of mine, but I would love to read more. As you can probably tell, Kunikida is one of my favourite Japanese authors (although I selected Akutagawa as my favourite in the survey... I love both of their writings equally, but the survey only wanted one answer, so I chose Akutagawa.) Please include writings of other Japanese authors who are not featured in BSD as well, if that is possible (you could maybe create a different section for them?) One of my favourite Japanese authors is Komatsu Sakyou, but I've only been able to read one book of his ("Japan Sinks"). I also want to read "Virus: the Day of Resurrection", "Take Your Choice" and assorted short stories written by him, but Japanese literature is unfortunately not at all easily available where I live. Which is all the more reason I'm so thankful for your blog. I wouldn't have been able to read so many amazing books of some of my favourite authors if it hadn't been for your blog. So, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope you will read this and consider my requests. Have a nice day :) 

it is through bsd-bibliophile's blog that i am able to go in-depth about japanese authors, so thank you so much! and just a little suggestion, though you don't have to do this if you don't have time or there's simply not any reason for you to do it, i would really love to answer a survey not only featuring japanese authors but all authors across different literatures (japanese, american, english, russian) who are featured in bsd because i think that would be fun as well. and this is really a fun survey~ thank you so much!

It was very fun to fill this list.

It's too hard to choose only one character or author

Keep doing what you do, it's amazing!

keep the great works!

Loved this!!! 💕

Nothing in particular. I just wanna thank you for having this survey. Loving BSD forever.

Since I only recently fell into the world of BSD and Japanese literature I haven't been able to read many of the works I want. I'm quite eager to read "No Longer Human" by Dazai-sensei since I really liked his style. An interesting thing is that I wasn't very fond of reading poetry until I discovered Yosano-sensei and Miyazawa-sensei, I enjoyed their work a lot. I'm very grateful to this blog, I wouldn't have been able to immerse myself this much into Japanese literature and read all this wonderful works if it wasn't for you so thank you so much! Keep up the good work!! ♡

Thank you for all of your hard work in these translations; reading Japanese literature has always been my wish. Being able to find and read their works in English is the greatest thing that's happened to me.

Thank you for all the hard work! You all curate the content so carefully and do so much for the fandom. It's one of my favorite bsd

Thank you for all the work you do~ and thank you for the library as well~

Thank you for all the work you’ve done💕✨

Thank you for all your hard work!

Thank you for continuing your work on this blog!

Thank you for everything you do!

Thank you for helping me find the translated copy of Return to Tsugaru by Osamu Dazai a while back!

Thank you for making the online library available! It's a great way to read some of these works that are not easily found elsewhere.

Thank you for providing the PDF's of these books, I don't want to buy them until I know I like them because it's hard for me to read because of my ADHD, so thank you for providing them in English!!!!

Thank you for the survey!

Thank you for this site! It really helps me to learn more about the Japanese Literature. Thank you to everyone who worked hard to translate the manga and light novels! I cannot decide which author I liked the best nor which book I liked most. It really is hard for me too choose! *sends love to everyone in this site*

thank you for this site! this really feeds my reading and BSD obsession <3

Thank you for your hard work :)

Thank you for your hard work, BSD Bibliophile! You are amazing! ;)

Thank you for your hard work!

Thank you for your work ♥

thank you so much for all that you do!!

Thank you so much for all your work on the BSD Bibliophile website!

Thank you so much for both your blog and the online library!!

Thank you so much for bringing closer the translated works and thanks for the authors who translated them

thank you so much for creating this special blog! I love it and really adore it

Thank you so much for your great work! your blog is a treasure for those who don't speak Japanese but are in love with Japanese literature (─‿‿─)♡

thank you so much for your website!!! sending love from hk!! :DD

Thank you so much for your wonderful work in making Japanese literature more accessible, so people who cannot find them in their country are also able to enjoy them <3

Thank you very much for your efforts in providing information and reading materials for everyone! I find your blog and website especially useful since I can't seem to find any physical copies here where I'm from. 

Thank you!

Thank you.

Thanks for all of your hardwork!

thanks for ur hard work <3

Thankyou so much for this amazing collection of Japanese writers and BSD!

The translations from the BSD Library are amazing.

there's always more than one favorite character or author but it is hard to pick between them

This blog is has so many posts that have helped me to read these literary work and became an important part of my life. Thank you for all moderators for sharing these beautiful works.

This is an interesting survey for bsd franchise also for the people who like and read Japanese literature. As a casual franchise wanderer, I'd like to fill this for showing my country existence//slaps wwwwwwwww. Thank you for providing this survey. Salam Literasi!

This library is amazing!

This was fun!! I use the bsd-bibliophile tumblr a lot - reading the quotes helps me pick which book to read next!! Through reading the Japanese literature written by BSD characters, I’ve since found other Japanese authors I love like Sakutarō Hagiwara and Dan Kazou, too!!!! <3

To clarify some of my answers, The Japanese books I own are mostly children's books. My parents however, have some Japanese novels and short stories as they are from Japan (for example my mom has a copy of Kumo no Ito by Akutagawa). I never finished Setting Sun nor Kokoro. I got about halfway through both before I had to return it to the library. The only other jp lit I've read not including poems is like a quarter of Snow Country by Kawabata Yasunari.

would just like to thank you for always providing the resources for BSD fans! i have been introduced to some of my favourite all-time works since discovering your blog and your resources!

You have a great blog, thank you all!

You're doing amazing work. Thank you so much for all you do for this fandom and the Japanese literary sphere in general.

You’re the best!

Your blog is absolutely amazing and if i hadn't found it i wouldn't have been able to read any of the BSD authors' works, i downloaded each one that interested me in PDF from your blog, hence why i admire it so much and i am so grateful for it. It is obvious that you put a huge amount of work into this blog and i love to wake up to new quotes and fragments every day. Keep up the great work, with love, a reader from Romania!

Your blog is amazing. Keep up the great work! Much support ♥️

your blog is SO helpful for my master's thesis on japanese literature. there is basically nothing in my country about japanese authors and i cannot thank you enough for the work you have done. seriously you are saving my life !!!!!!!!!! i really hope you have a good day!!!! you are really awesome™

Your BSD Library is very helpful for me, thank you for your efforts on creating it!

Your website is great, and I really appreciate your work, it’s makes it so much easier to find Japanese literature and to find new authors.

Your work is beautiful and you have expanded my knowledge of international literature so much; thank you :)

[nerdynuala]

hc/ oneshot of levi coaching hanji bc they were about to fight w the mp bc someone was making fun of them?

First off, I'm so so sorry anon I really took my sweet time with this one.

The thing is I don't usually write anything beside very random headcanons when inspiration hits lol

I've been debating whether to try this or redirect you to a fanfic writer's blog since I'm not confident about my writing and my English is kinda rubbish imo.

But yeah, in the end I gave it a try. Also, sorry Anon but I'm not sure if I got exactly what you were asking for, and I went full MP huge fight mode. And it's kinda turned into vets stuff. I still suggest you ask a writer to do this, there's many cool blogs out there who can do a much better job in half the time lol

Anyway, if you wanna read my poor attempt at writing, here it is.

Warning: just some swearing, she/her pronouns for Hange

"Look, if it isn't the crazy bitch from the Survey Corps" a man with a raspy voice barked.

Hange dreaded those meetings with the MPs, no one in the Survey Corps could stand them, to be honest, but still, they had to put up the façade and feign some civil behaviour for the sake of the Scouts and the funding. Hange was well aware she had trouble controlling her temper most of the times, and experience taught her that she couldn't stand the Military Police talking badly about her comrades.

She knew that Levi and herself together managed to make a few scenes before, and Erwin particularly stressed it every time before one of these meetings. "And please, please I beg all of you to refrain from making scenes or even talking back to anyone. We're there to make a good impression, we need funds and fo heaven's sake the last thing we need is for them to have an excuse to think even less of us and undermine our funds" he said every time, with a pointed look directed at Levi and Hange.

She turned and stared right at the Military Police man who was talking about her. She smiled and waved, "Yes, that would be me, it's a pleasure to meet you!".

Levi snorted at the facial expression the idiot made. He hoped that Hange brushing him off like that would settle it, but he had been to enough meetings to know it wasn't over at all.

"She probably didn't score high enough to get into the good Corps. That's what they do isn't it?" the man nudged a colleague in the chest, gesturing towards Hange.

"Aye, scoring shit and then ending up in some titan's mouth. They're replaceable anyway" the pug-faced man joined the teasing.

Levi could sense Hange tense next to him. He knew what she felt, he loathed hearing comments about his comrades just as much as she did.

She laughed it off, though. "Maan I would love to watch the insides of a Titan! What do we have to lose? Another cadet will score shit and they can take my place. Unless some of you feel the thrill of bravery once in your life and decide to join" she shrugged. "Who knows".

Levi knew this could only get worse. He tugged her sleeve. "Hange, come, let's join Mike and Erwin".

"My, my, if it isn't humanity strongest!"

"The underground scum you mean"

"No, no, he's a hero now, isn't he? Should've been thrown to prison and was rescued by Smith like a fucking stray dog"

Both men laughed, while others were gathering around.

"Shut the fuck up all of you!" Levi admitted to himself he would have snapped just like that, but Hange had anticipated him. His eyes went slightly wide for a moment, but then his lips briefly curled up in a small smirk upon seeing the fervor in Hange's brown orbs.

He would have loved to join her and teach a lesson to those morons, sure, but they promised Erwin.

He tugged again at her sleeve. "Oi, it's not worth our time, let's go".

The MPs laughed. "Only thing that's worth the time or your sorts is getting minced up by some stinky titan's mouth".

Hange tensed and she opened her mouth to strike back, but Levi gently made her turn to face him.

"Let's not get into trouble", he said, staring directly in her eyes.

"But Levi you should-"

"Yeah I want to break their fucking noses as much as you do. But we promised Erwin" he tugged once more.

The MPs laughed again, louder this time.

"Erwin Fucking Smith keeping his lapdogs tamed!" roared the pug-faced one.

"No wonder he needs to tame them" laughed another one with an annoying high-pitched voice, "look at the kind of lapdogs he got himself! One's a nutcase eager to step into a Titan's mouth, the other one is a pint-sized thug fetched straight from the filthy undergound" they all laughed. "I think we're missing one..." he feigned thinking hard, with a hand on his chin.

"What did you expect from the Survey Corps and Fucking Smith? That's the best he could get, to be fair" a black-haired man joined them.

"Not that he particularly cares..." he added with an unpleasant smirk "these are just chunks of meat he is more than willing to feed to titans, anyway".

That was it. That was just what drove Hange over the top and Levi knew it. He could feel her clenching her fist under his hand, he felt her muscles tremble. He looked at her, she was clenching her jaw, a fiery light in her eyes, cheeks slightly flushed. She briefly looked at him, and he didn't need words of any sorts. He let go of her arm and nodded.

Hange launched herself at the black-haired man and punched him on the jaw.

Everyone was shocked.

"Do you idiots have anything else to say?" She challenged them. "You can talk shit about me all you want, I don't give a damn, but show some respect to my comrades, people willing to DIE for your fat asses"

Levi watched her. She was scary, definitely scary when angry. He briefly smirked to himself, she had used one of the moves he taught her while sparring.

She suddenly grabbed the collar of the pug-faced man. She lifted her fist and the man flinched.

Levi approached her but he just glared at the MPs. "I won't restrain her, you called it".

He turned towards Hange. "If you punch him in the nose like I thaught you, you'll knock him out and fuck him up, but not enough to kill him".

"I know" she growled, but she clearly was trying to control her impulse to strike him.

The man had the courage to smirk. "Did Smith manage to tame the thug but not this nutcase of a weirdo?".

Hange hit him on front of his nose with the heel of her palm. He passed out instantly.

It was chaos, the other two men launched themselves against Hange. Levi announced "I've got your back, Hange" and the fight started getting bad. Levi's eyes were checking Hange all the time, he knew she could handle it but he resolved he would avoid risking her getting hurt.

Erwin, across the enourmous room, paled. He heard shouting and suddenly a group of people were hitting each other. Levi and Hange had been gone for a while, and he had a gut feeling they were right in the middle of it.

He was speaking to an important old man who may just want to fund the Corps if he worked him correctly, he couldn't leave him. Not now. Erwin subtly excused himself and fetched Mike, without getting more than two steps away from the man.

"Stop them" he whispered close to his ear.

Mike's eyes travelled to the corner of the room and took notice of the fight. He didn't see Hange and Levi since there were a lot of people gathered around, but he didn't need to see them to know they were there.

He stared at Erwin. "The two of them?" he whispered back, "You think I can stop the two of them? Are you nuts?".

"Just do something, please. I can't leave this one, he's going to fund us with some good amount of money" he clapped Mike's shoulder.

Mike sighed. "Fine" he said, murmuring something along the lines of "wish me luck" while he made his way to fetch his friends.

He sure had to admit he didn't think it was this bad. Hange was clearly having the upper hand and she was the one who was hitting the most.

He grabbed her from behind and lifted her up, gesturing to Levi to stop the fight and keep the opponents away. She kicked around and ended up elbowing him on the temple.

"Fuck" he hissed, gripping her waist tighter "Hange stop! It's me!".

Suddenly, Levi was on his side.

"Let go, Mike, I'll show them" Hange was struggling to get out of his arms, hitting him in the process.

"Levi do something! What the hell" he hissed again, getting frustrated.

Levi caught Hange's wrist and she looked at him. "That's enough, Hange" he said calmly and she sighed and tried calming down.

Hange's gaze lingered on the mess she and Levi made. Well, it was mostly Hange's doing.

Feeling her relax in his arms, Mike released her and let her again on the floor.

"Erwin's gonna kill the both of you" he looked around. His eyes stopping and widening as he took notice of the limp man on the floor, two of the MPs were lightly slapping his cheek. "Is he-?"

"Just passed out" Levi interrupted.

Mike sighed and rubbed a hand on his face.

"There's the lapdog we were missing" the man with the high-pitched voice chimed up. "The sniffing weirdo".

Mike smirked. He put a big hand on Hange's shoulder and turned her aroun. "Let's go, Hange. Levi" Levi nodded and started to follow him, when the man with the black hair spoke up again.

"I've always thought he is involved with Smith"

Mike laughed. "I sure love that man, but I don't think the nature of our relationship is any concern of yours"

"That explains why he's been around for so long. Smith doesn't want to feed him to a titan like the fucking rest of these idiots"

Hange turned around vehemetly, but Levi stopped her before she could speak. "That's enough, Hange, they weren't even worth our time to begin with" he said in merely more than a whisper.

Mike stopped in his tracks.

"I'll have you idiots know he's been around for so long because he's fucking capable of staying alive and keep his squad alive. I'd love to see some of you out there" Mike was surprised Levi interjected to defend him, but the insults towards his capability wasn't really what had bothered him.

"Listen here" he said, turning around to face them. "You can say all the shit you want about myself, but not a word about my friends or Erwin for that matter-"

They laughed. "Isn't it funny how they fucking defend him and the coward is just throwing them to their deaths instead?". The black-haired man roared with laughter "Fucking idiots".

Without warning, Mike punched one in the face and Hange punched the other on the nose, the loud crack all too telling as to what happened to the bones.

Mike sighed. "I guess Erwin can't kill the three of us in one go".

Levi walked closer to Hange. "You okay?".

She nodded and stared at him. "Thanks for trying to stop me. And for understanding I didn't-"

"Want to be stopped" he finished for her. "I get it. I'll always have your back, Hange, but let's be more careful next time. They weren't worth it and I don't want to risk you getting hurt".

She smiled. "I got carried away, but you saw I actually learned your moves?"

Levi smiled. "Yeah, we should work on them".

She nudged his arm "That's not true, they were perfect and you know it".

"Yes, they were perfect".