#my fav child for a reason (the reason is trauma)

[siriuslynephilim]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

[starry-nocturne]

ayaryo lovechild part 1: yuu (the good one)

[twig-tea]

With 23.5 finally coming out, the people are rejoicing at finally getting a high profile gl from GMMTV. But there have already been several gls airing this year, including my fav TsukuTabe, that have been flying under the radar with fandom, and in general there are more gls already out there than folks seem to think. I just know you have a list of all the gls we should be watching, please share with the class!

Thank you for the ask! How did you know I had a draft of GL recs to make at some point? [Trick question, I mentioned it to you.]

It may seem like I'm out here hating on GL because i've made a couple of negative reviews of recently airing series recently (Love Senior and Chaser Game W in case you're curious) but I actually have lots of GL that I love and that I wish were better known! Thanks for sending this ask so I am inspired to actually finish it! I've limited myself to series so that I could keep the list and this post to a reasonable length. Where possible I've listed where you can find each of these and included a link. And I've included an 'elevator pitch' summary but I am NOT in marketing for a reason, so please don't roast me too hard for my terrible comparisons. Alright, enough waffling!

Twig's GL Rec List

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat S1 & 2 (Japan, 2022 & 2024, both seasons fansubbed by @furritsubs; if you need help accessing this show feel free to DM me!)

Elevator pitch: Our Dining Table with lesbians and an even slower burn. Watch for beautiful food, acespec rep, mental health and therapy rep

What might turn some off: Extremely low heat, and quite slow-moving; warning for a disordered eating and family trauma plot (v gently handled)

Let's start with the one you've already mentioned. This is a heartwarming slice-of-life slow burn in which an autismspec-coded woman who likes to eat is invited by her neighbour, a femme acespec woman who loves to cook, to come and eat her food. It starts from a very practical place (when you love making food you need someone to help eat it), but their relationship grows as they spend more time together. The story follows them as they both move towards self-actualization in several ways: as a lesbian, as asexual, at work, with their families, with their friends, with each other. This show is so careful to say the important words aloud. And there is so much delicious cooking! Each episode highlights a particular recipe, and the food porn is real. Do not watch while hungry, but definitely watch. The found famiy vibes in this one one are also immaculate.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Younger lesbian friend group tries to help out (slightly) older lesbian bar owner with mixed success. I can't think of a good BL equivalent, The Moment Since feels the closest with its similar bartender/patron romance

What might turn some off: Comedic tone; short runtime; struggles with being closeted

This is a gem of a miniseries about a bar owner and an interior designer who smoulder at one another while an intrepid group of younger bar regulars (including the bar owner's neice) meddle. This series is really cute, solid, and full of sapphics! Once again found family vibes are immaculate (you may sense a theme in my faves). Run don't walk.

Fragrance of the First Flower (Taiwan, 2021, GagaOOLala)

Elevator pitch: Right-person-wrong-time/second chance romance; tonally is a little like We Best Love 2: Fighting Mr. 2nd but with an ambiguous ending.

What might turn you off: Medium heat, second chance romance means they break up once, internalized homophobia, adultery/cheating, at one point there's a creepy dude, child with autism (depicted well), ambiguous ending

At its core this is a story of a woman who can't stop getting in the way of her own happiness. This series is a little more sad than the rest of this rec list but I couldn't not include it because this relationship is so poignant. Plus there's a s2 that supposedly is to come out in 2024 so maybe we'll get our happy ending after all?

Love Greater Than or Equal to 70 Degrees C (Korea, 2019, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ingredients but with lesbians staring at one another over beautiful tea pairings! What more could you ask for?

What might turn you off: Low heat; short runtime; ambiguous ending; like Ingredients this is essentially a long ad for the café it's filmed at.

This is a Korean miniseries about passionate tea sommeliers making really fancy tea while staring at one another a LOT. Perfect sapphic representation, 10/10 no notes. This one packs a lot of the drama tropes into its short runtime, so even though it's short it's full of butterfly-inspiring moments.

Sleep With Me (Philippines, 2022, GagaOOLala/iWantTFC/Netflix w/VPN set to Philippines)

Elevator pitch: The Truth About Cats and Dogs but the self esteem issues are handled without catfishing. BL equivalent: Hmmm. Closest I can think of is Gaya Sa Pelikula.

What might turn you off: There's some ableism (treated as such) in this show; Open ending.

Stellar GL between a late night radio DJ and an insomniac who listens to her show. One of the main couple is a wheelchair user and the show tackles ablelism and navigating disability in relationship as well as feelings of inadequacy in a relationship and how that manifests as interpersonal conflict.

Our Relationship Ended Before it Began (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Along the lines of I Cannot Reach You; the show gives both perspectives and they are held back by queer angst.

What might turn you off: No kiss (but they make it very clear both want to kiss), internalized homophobia

Really sweet miniseries about having a crush and being afraid of being hurt so you don't actually make a move. I really like the way the girl who has not dated a girl before defaults to gender roles and it throws the more experienced lesbian lol I also really like the way this show makes clear that both of them are waiting for a kiss, and that if you get in your head about things, it can get in the way of your own happiness!

Pearl Next Door (Philippines, 2020, Youtube)

Elevator Pitch: Gameboys but with lesbian vloggers.

What might turn you off: Love triangle, lots of teasing but low heat in the end, a lot of (good) conversations about mental health issues, ambiguous ending

This is the GL spinoff to Gameboys, starring Pearl from Gameboys. Pearl ends up being fought over by the two gorgeous women in the gif, an old love and a new. I love the queer friendships in this story as much as the relationships. I will say it's an open ending (that felt a bit like the showrunners didn't want to decide between ships) and definitely the love triangle features prominently but even in the face of these aspects that would normally turn me off a series I had a good time. The characters and interpersonal conflicts feel very real, and are allowed to be complex even when the show tone is comedic.

Dear Uranus (Taiwan, 2021, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Schoolgirl ensemble GL; a little like My School President but without the singing.

What might turn you off: Short runtime; ambiguous ending; a little bit of bullying; very standard romance trope execution

The first Taiwanese GL miniseries, this series was produced by a Taiwanese lesbian couple (Rabbit & Wolf)! Lots of excellent drama tropes, and incredibly gorgeous women (I think the entire watching audience fell in love with Erol.

Lily Fever (Korea, 2015, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Complete crack; YYY but with more kissing and frankly an even less coherent story.

What might turn you off: The lack of coherent plot; less a romance and more a very thirsty lesbian kissing everyone she can

This miniseries is utter chaos. Nothing really makes sense, it's all just random excuses to cause very suggestive moments (and kissing) to happen. I love so much how this series depicts women being so absolutely thirsty for one another (and yes that date isn't a typo, this series is ~9 years old). Not an "happy ever after" ending but it really isn't that kind of story.

Chasing Sunsets (Philippines, 2020, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: Ocean Likes Me with lesbians. Resort romance with a mental health twist.

What might turn you off: Some of the mental health stuff gets intense, this was filmed in 2020 so the pandemic features heavily; hopeful but slightly ambiguous ending.

A complex story from the Philippines covering mental health and finding yourself. A woman shows up to a resort and befriends one of the women running the resort. They get closer as they spend time together, and the resort owner realizes something is off. There's also a BL side couple in this series.

Show Me Love (Thai, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator pitch: A little like My Day the series with lesbians, in that they work together and fall in love and it's full of tropes

What might turn you off: The advertising for the Miss Grand competition, there is some bullying and cheating (though way less than I was expecting tbh), not a lot actually happens, the editing gets a bit wonky at the end

This is essentially a massive ad for the Miss Grand Thailand competition; this GL was produced by the same company that produces that competition, and the stars are mostly Miss Grand competitors. The main pairing were shipped in the actual competition, and the company decided to make a GL about them. It's very slow paced and low-stakes, and there are better kisses than I expected considering everything I just said about where this show came from. There are a lot of cute moments!

Girlfriend Project (Korea, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Love Class with lesbians

What might turn you off: One of the leads is kind of mean in that pgitail-pulling way? It ends abruptly (but happily)

This is a short miniseries about two girls paired in a class that are assigned to "date". The chemistry is chemistrying. And there is a kiss (a good kiss, and a tiptoes kiss at that!). This show also has one of my favourite tropes, in which someone who seems like a pushover stands up for themselves and their partner finds it very attractive. For the record, in this show they are watching another GL by the same company, Love Tech.

Lulu (Philippines, 2022, Vivamax/grey)

Elevator Pitch: Present Perfect with lesbians (but with a better ending).

What might turn you off: Depictions of panic attacks, brief depiction of drowning, pandemic lockdowns, illness, exes, waffling, happy but open ending (which I actually liked for this story)

Two women trying to move on from the garbage in their lives meet at the beach of a B&B (where one saves the other from drowning) and become one another's company during their escape and then something more. They both have baggage that seems determined to keep them apart even as they continue to be drawn together. In the end, they decide to stick it out and see where they end up, with no guarantee of happily ever after, which I found very sweet. Requires either a VivaMax account or searching the grey for it, but it's worth the effort (check MyDramaList comments for suggestions on where to find it). Plus one of the leads has a cactus as a pet.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (Korea, 2023, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: A little like Fudanshi Bartender but without the fudanshi bartender and all of the bar patrons are lesbians lol

What might turn you off: Short, can get a little bit preachy, abrupt ending

Cute short series with different very stories every episode as different patrons visit the bar. The stories range from women who have been together for awhile, to people meeting from an online app for the first time, to someone visiting a lesbian bar for the first time; and yet the story all weaves together in a way that's satisfying though ends abruptly. Includes some solid marriage equality propaganda.

GAP the Series (Thai, 2022, YouTube)

Elevator Pitch: Kind of the vibes of Together with Me but lesbians and in an office instead of school. Angry boss falls for charming new intern and

What might turn you off: This one is the highest heat of all these recs; homophobia especially amongst family, brief depictions of death by car, brief mentions of suicide, cheating, bullying, abuse of power in the office.

A list would not be complete without this one! Honestly the plot is a bit wobbly but the show is a lot of fun. The girls are very cute, the feelings and tension builds really well between them, the friend group is excellent, and in the special we get a wedding.

---

The rest of these have caveats of one kind or another, but i couldn't leave them off a rec list, so here are the side couples and censored stories that are still worth your time anyway (I might do a separate more detailed post for these, as well as for films, one day if there's interest):

Nevertheless (GL side; Korean, 2021, Netflix) Not sure it's worth watching a whole kdrama for side lesbians? Search soljiwan on youtube. They are great. Even the Netflix account stans them. I watched this (ngl, I watched the SolJiwan cut) as it aired and was constantly braced for it to let us down but it did not! A really good friends-to-lovers story.

Friend Zone 2: Dangerous Area (GL side; Thailand, 2019, YouTube): These sapphics are messy and I love them. Decent conversation about dating someone with mental health issues in this series, and they're one of the only couples in this ensemble to get a happy ending. If you're just watching the lesbian couple (which you can, their story is pretty self-contained) you don't need to have seen s1.

Six Survivors (GL side; Japan, 2022, Viki) This show is a horror comedy and it is SO MUCH FUN. Warning for zombies and blood, but way less than you might think. One of the eponymous 6 survivors is a lesbian who keeps trying to convert them to veganism lol. If you watched Chaser Game W you'll recognize one of the actresses in this, the lead actress is from Kamisama no Ekohiiki, and one of the guys is from the prequel series His as well as I Want to See Only You! And yes there is a kiss. Also a surprising number of Mallrats references. Not for people who can't handle gore or relationships being complicated/not a "true love" story/ambiguous ending.

Kamisama no Ekohiiki (complicated question of is it GL in parts, Japan, 2021, furritsubs once again coming through to save the day) This one is a bit complex because there's bodyswap, but the girl who falls for the bodyswapped boy-in-a-girl's-body is clear that she is only interested in the girl. One of the better bodyswap stories because the bodyswap is not a secret for very long, so instead there's a lot of introspection about what gender means and who/what they are attracted to. Feels wrong to call this GL, necessarily, but it's very queer.

Couple of Mirrors (Censored GL, China, 2021, Viki) Story of a rich girl and her assassin girlfriend. This production did an amazing job getting away with what they could, just don't watch the last five minutes and we've got essentially a happy lesbian family.

Legend of Yunze (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) Very cute very low budget xianxia miniseries with two seasons and a special. The special is set in modern times in a future lifetime so if you want a cute censored-but-clearly-a-soulmate-love-story this is the one for you. Don't be thrown off by the weird cuts/abrupt episode endings, that's in line with cdramas in general.

Led Astray by Love (Censored GL, China, 2021, @douqi7s) A very fun and adorable isekai story in which a modern day girl is transported to a wuxia novel setting and has to figure out how to get home, and gets romanced by the princess along the way.

And a few additional links for people who even more content:

My Indian sapphic webseries rec list

My suggestions for content with toms (Thai category that's similar to but not exactly the same as butch lesbians) in response to this post.

This really good GL MyDramaList list (not made by me!) lists what seems to be everything I've mentioned and about 200 more. Even I haven't seen a few of these!

My YouTube playlist of sapphic content: This includes anything I stumble across or find in my searches, a lot of music videos and random shorts as well as some microseries and miniseries that I don't consider GL but are WLW/sapphic in addition to true "GL" content. For serialized content, I add just the first ep. A complete mess, but you can trawl through to find stuff to watch, like Hetero!

SOONOTSUE: The same producers of She Makes My Heart Flutter have other short series on their channel worth checking out; if you liked that one, try Out of Breath!

Shakeshoulder: Thai YouTube producers of very pulpy (read: low budget and dramatic plots) shorts

FuFuKnows: This YouTube channel is owned by a gay Taiwanese couple that produces shorts every week, including some with GL mains and sides. These are very low budget but cover a whole swath of queer themes.

@douqi7s is a godsend providing subtitles for all kinds of content, including sapphic shorts and more series than I've listed here. Check their tumblr for links to all of their content; A Practical Guide to Being a Superstar's Assistant has one of the best setups to giving us great moments in the guise of something else so that they get past censorship I've ever seen; I also recommend The Vampires if you're into genre fiction, as well as Legend of Yunqian if you enjoyed the xianxia parts of Legend of Yunze. @wlwcatalogue did an excellent summary of many of the non-wuxia options here.

Quick pitch for the streaming platform GagaOOLala; it's affordable, has a ton of content, including a whack of GLs (originals, license series, and a ton of shorts), and is run by queer people out of Taiwan who care about good quality queer content being made and having an audience, and using the soft power from those successful series to support social change. And if you can't afford a subscription it's worth checking out what they have for free, they open up temporary free access to some things for various events throughout the year.

In searching for gifs for this post I found fellow tumblr user @drowningparty 's WLW compendium list; they've listed more series and films so check it out if you still need more content!

*wipes sweat off brow* that should be enough to be getting on with, but it's really just the tip of the iceberg! If there's something specific you want to see with sapphics let me know and I can tell you if I know it exists. Anyway, I hope this gives you and everyone else a taste of what all is out there! I of course always want more, I am serious about being a sapphic dragon hoarding every crumb i can get my lizardy hands on, but I do think what we have should also be appreciated more. If I missed one of your faves, please tell me!

[auraworkshop]

MY STORY OF SUCCESSFULY CONQUERING THE VOID STATE

Trigger warning: Sexual abuse, trauma etc.

I was raised in a loving and nurturing household. My childhood was hunky-dory and I remember myself as a bright and happy child, frolicking around in a carefree environment. I was pampered by a set of very loving and supportive parents. Alas, my protected bubble shattered, when at the age of 11, I went through sexual abuse and my life changed. The incident led to repressed anxiety, depression, and lingering PTSD for almost a decade.

I was sexually abused at the age of 11

Considering I was just 11-years-old when the heinous incident took place, I was too young to register the gravity or impact of such a crime. Revisiting the incident is still very painful. It happened about nine years ago, at an outstation wedding. I was sleeping alone in a hotel room, when the abuser entered my room and forced himself upon me. I remember distinctly how dark the room was. I was in a deep slumber and didn't realize that someone other than me was in the room as well. I wasn't able to respond or react, as I couldn't escape or stop the person. I was left in pain.

While I did inform my parents immediately, for some reason, the abuse and its record got shushed. My parents didn't want it to be made public or for it to harm my image in the society. Their response towards my trauma festered as a scar in the coming years.Living with depression, anxiety and PTSD As much as I tried to move on from that horrendous night, it kept coming back to me.

Unfortunately, I was too young to repair the damage. I began to feel lethargic and fatigued all the time. Something as small as brushing my teeth became a laborious task. I withdrew from merrymaking, public engagements, and activities that I had found joy in earlier. I failed to find any joy in life anymore.

I made many attempts. I think they started as a result of feeling unhappy with myself. All the failed attempts were a call for help and desperation. I felt helpless and alone and I couldn't dare to face the demon. I began to get triggered by even the mere mention of weddings. I think, my parents untimely and apathetic response to my suffering was the nail in the coffin-I lost trust in anybody whom I considered close. The replaying of the incident, over and over again, left my conscious and spirit bruised and broken. I became quiet and reclusive. This was when my life slowly started to change, as I found out about law of assumption and then the void state. After knowing that I can change my life completely through the void I tried every single night till yesterday to enter the void state at any cost. I was so desperate to get in. I slapped myself every night to enter otherwise my life would never change and I'll also be miserable. I did everything that can be done but still I saw no progress. I slowly started to get super jealous of other people's success stories. Everytime I saw a new void success story here on Tumblr, I would cry so hard and isolate myself. Yeah :) I was so Harsh on myself.

But, Then I found out about you and your subliminals and then about your paid custom subliminal and how magically they work, and yeah I was a bit hesitant to pay you for the subliminal as I got scammed by people so many times but all those success people got from using your subliminal boosted my motivation and trust in you! and see, my money was worth it!!

I listened to that sub on loop for 3 hours for 4 days continuously and the night of the 4th day I ended up in the void. It was instant and so effortless, it all happened so effortlessly. I never thought I would enter like this after beating, slapping, and isolating myself to enter.

Thankyou for helping me, thankyou for the hardwork you put in your subliminals, thankyou for your sweet and motivating words ♡

Bye to Tumblr, all my fav bloggers, anons and Aura.

Signing off...

Wow! You did a great job my girl, Your success story is truly a GEM.

Sorry for everything you went through, I LOVE YOU <3

And Thankyou so much for taking your time and writing this beautiful success story to all of us 🤍

[luffyrose]

Dc x Dp Random Blurp #1

I know I've got more than one before this but these are the ones I probably won't ever write so feel free to take them and run with em-

~~~~

So we all know Dick (you can probably all guess that Dick and Jason are my fav bat kids with how much I talk about them lmao) has lotta trauma in general. In the general canon we all follow for like fics and stuff though, there's one thing I think most people don't put into their fics and stuff and I had an idea with Danny being kinda adopted/brother-napped by Dick involving it.

The thing?

Falling.

Someone he loves falling and he's not able to help. Sure he's spooked his family as a joke pretending to fall off things. But here's the thing, they all KNOW that they'll all find a way to catch themselves.

But what if Dick had gotten a harsh hit from whatever rogue decided to play whack-a-mole with the birds and when he saw a kid on the roof where they were fighting (idk why they're up there, ask the riddler or two face or whoever-) and his already slightly concussed brain starts to work overtime.

The kid is on a roof, which is already a bad sign! The kid looks kinda...strike that a LOT like Jason before he died? Even worse!

So when whatever stray attack ends up sending the kid tumbling over the edge, Dick is literally milliseconds behind him. It's not a tall roof, and even if Danny was a full human, he likely wouldn't have suffered too badly from the fall if he didn't land completely wrong.

Probably.

Reason Danny isn't flying? Something triggered his fight or flight and his body chose to freeze this time, falling did not help that. Maybe it's the Joker doing all this, we love clown trauma.

Either way, Dick is oh so quickly grabbing this random kid who he can only register as Tiny Jason he had failed to be a good big brother tm too, and is literally just taking the impact of the fall in favor of ensuring Danny didn't get hurt AT ALL.

Danny is now emotionally attached whether he likes it or not because hey! A random hero saved him and is still hugging him and he feels like safety, so he will cling on just as hard, and no Jazz! He definitely isn't crying-

Dick refuses to let go of the kid, muttering apologies to Jason, which the others are pretty quick to realize why when they see the kid's face. It's a whole mess. Partially because they have a delirious Dick who won't let go of this random child and said child hisses at them when they try to get him off just as much.

For a lil extra spice you could make it that Danny and Jason are related somehow and Jason upon seeing the kid both KNOWS they're similar and recognizes him as his kid brother and is just like "Oh god- oh god he's alive(questionable) and traumatized(definitely)-"

[lethargicmouse]

tell us your favorites everlark fics

Thanks for the ask!! They make me very excited lol. I honestly don’t read a lot of everlark lol, I’m more of a hayeffie fan with a side of everlark. Just becuase I feel like mother Suzanne did a good job with them in the books. But truly, a lot of my fav hayeffie ships are from either Peeta or Katniss’ perspective.

The ones listed here are mostly post epilogue (:

( I lied they are all post epilogue.)

this is the first day of my life by sam_writes_fics @sam-loves-seb ----> "It’s not perfect. None of them are perfect. But that’s not the point. // katniss and peeta and haymitch and effie and their life after everything;" I LOVE THIS IT WAS GOOD

You Are in Love (Everlark's Version) by bored_author ---> "A collection of one-shots about Katniss and Peeta working through their traumas, together." This is probably the most everlark one on here. It was cute

The Team Trap by EllanaSan @ellainthetardis (my queen omg) ---> "'What’s the very good reason that’ll get her to come?/ Katniss asked. Peeta was silent for a moment, his hand stilled on her back. 'It involves a technical white lie.' In her experience, lies were hardly ever technical or white." I love EllanaSan with my entire heart.

End of the World by FernWithy ---> Ok this is a very Haymitch centered series but it literally rocked my world and I think everyone needs to read this. There is some awesome POV's of characters you rarely hear from. Delly gets the spotlight she deserves and Peets gets it, too. It's a wonderful, long read that I'd highly reccomend.

Sorry there isn't more! I have lots of other fics that I really enjoy that are from Peeta or Katniss' view that are just more Hayeffie centric (linked under the line (: ), I tried to pull the more Everlark ones for you !

they got no idea (about me and you) by fckingpoetry ---> "peeta looks for advice on how to keep katniss safe in the arena and walks in on haymitch and effie sleeping in the same bed." I cannot stress how much I love this author. And any fic where the kids find out about Effie and Haymitch makes me giggle.

The Clue in the Yoghurt by EllanaSan ---> "In retrospect, Haymitch should have known something was up the morning he walked into his kitchen, rubbing his face to chase the remnants of sleep, and found Katniss pilfering his fridge." So silly, Katniss accidental pregnancy and it makes me smile to see hayeffie acting like the parents they are.

Sprinkled on Your Life by KarlyBING ---> "With all her silliness, shallowness, and overbearing ways, Effie had still cried while holding her after coming back from the arena, she was the one to publicly unite them during the Quell, cared for her during a war, braided her hair when she was too depressed to do it herself, made her wedding dress out of worn cotton shirts and second-hand wool, held her hands after delivering her first child, changed diapers at 3 am so Peeta and her could sleep a couple more hours, taught her children how to say please and thank you, and still made her hot chocolate every rainy day without even having to ask." I cried. So much. For only 1,801 words. A nice look at mama!Effie and darling Katniss.

that which resembles a grave (but isn't) by ifonlyiwasawriter ---> "Haymitch finds Katniss covered in dirt in his backyard; there is an explanation for this, but not one that either of them likes." Haymitch and Katniss, lovely very traumatized father and very traumatized daughter bonding.

Any way I love Haymitch and Effie goodnight !

[under-the-dirt]

intro/masterlist!

hihihi!! i’m livie but you can call me liv or livie!!

age: 14 (bday is sep 23 :3)

pronouns: they/them but i’m fine with she/they :3 afab

nationality: i was born in and live in america but i’m italian, german and irish!! :D i can speak a bit of italian, and my great grandmother is an italian immigrant!!

general boundaries: i hate non-con!!! no non con!! don’t send requests for non-con please!! i’m fine with consensual somnophilia but no non-con!! also, under 13 dni!!

other stuff: i’m autistic and i have a bunch of other disorders so life can be very difficult but i cope through my writing and my art!! i love getting requests and i love talking to people!! i love music sm, and i’m almost always singing and dancing!! some of my fav artists are the killers, lana del rey, the weeknd, ghost, etc!

p.s. mutuals if i ever cross a boundary when talking please tell me!!! i’m very affectionate but i tend to cross boundaries on accident!!

writing boundaries:

• i will not write non-con! never! this is for trauma related reasons and it generally disgusts me. read/write what you like, but this is where i draw the line.

• i will not write characters non-consensually groping/touching the reader. i might consider like a character protecting reader from being groped, but i generally can’t stand it. (naturally, for trauma related reasons as well)

• i will not write certain kinks/fetishes, such as foot fetishes, piss kinks or other gross kinks.

• i will never ever write illegal age gaps. never. do not ask me to write an adult with a child. do not ask for anything pedophilic. this is for obvious reasons as well as trauma related reasons.

masterlist under the cut! <3

masterlist!!

key: 🌲 = angsty 🌿 = fluffy 🪴= smutty

john price

no strings. - an ask for reader x price friends with benefits, but reader gets pregnant and leaves 🌲🌿

whispers. part one part two - barracks bunny exposes price’s little crush in front of the task force 🪴

sleeptalking. part one part two - based of Talking In Your Sleep by The Romantics, price hears reader talking about him in their sleep and their dreams become a little too real 🌿🪴

horror movies. - a request where reader and price watch a movie too scary for either of them and they can’t sleep!! 🌿

avoidance. - reader avoids price bc they’re afraid that he doesn’t like them back, and he confronts them.. 🪴 (not sure)

simon ‘ghost’ riley

phone call. part two - bf!simon fucks you while you’re otp with your best friend / bf!simon fucks you in front of your best friend 🌿🪴(def my best)

lap dog. - a fic where hybrid!reader hits ghost too much with their tail!! (no classification)

braids. - simon braids reader’s hair!! 🌿

hard to love. - reader and ghost are friends with benefits, but reader wants what simon can’t give. 🌲🪴

john ‘soap’ mactavish

water. - based on my friend bunny’s ask in their acc (aforementioned ask) where soap refuses to fuck reader and instead does it with the showerhead!! 🪴🌿

phone call. (pt. 2) - reader gets fucked by bf!simon and soap gets a special desert afterwards.. 🌿🪴

könig

distractions. - reader has a bad day at work and koko helps relieve their stress with a makeout sesh!! 🪴🌿

christmas gifts. - reader gets the boys a big dino plush for christmas!! 🌿

taskforce 141

christmas gifts. - gn!reader gets the boys a big dino plush for christmas!! 🌿

comfort. - 141 cuddles!!! 🌿

cold. - cold reader gets cuddled by all the 141 (not at the same time!!) 🌿

taglist: none

comment to be added to the main taglist! those are the only things i’ve written so far, please send asks/messages for whatever you want em to write!! i don’t tend to write things on my own <3

ily all!!!

[maegalkarven]

I understand what you’re saying about the Chosen of the dead 3, but I think Orin and Gortash are in the same boat. She wasn’t part of the plan at all, she killed or tried to kill her sibling to actively be part of the plan. She wasn’t even Bhaal’s chosen, she forced into that position herself. And if her abuse is grounds for understanding, then I’d say Gortash’s abuse is too. Sold to a devil as a child and tortured for years until he escapes and he grasps at anything to be in control so no one can control / hurt him again. I think he’s a shit person that did shit things, but I do like the character. And I don’t think Orin’s abuse outweighs that of Gortash. Someone/something messed them both up really bad. Bhaal uses Orin’s bloodlust and trauma to get her to do what he wants, Bane uses Gortash’s fear and need for control to get him to do what he wants. Gortash isn’t more/less redeemable because he’s the smart one that put the plan together. Also being Bane’s chosen means if he fails, he’s tortured for eternity. After being tortured for years, I’d imagine he’d do quite literally anything to not end up there again. Either they’re both redeemable or they’re both not in my eyes at least. Ketheric is the most redeemable for sure, he started out with a decent reason at least.

Gortash is my absolute fav actually because of all the layers. He's a fucking onion.

"Trapped in narrative- escaping the narrative"wise Gortash is the only one who actively walks into His.

He could do anything he wanted after escaping Hells. He wasn't exactly chained up or forced to climb the ladder to world domination.

Back then he still had a choice, even if his mind, twisted and turned by being Raphael's captive, didn't want that choice. Because fear is a strong thing, fear can control person in the worst possible ways. I believe Gortash chose "be the worst ever so no one can hurt him again" road and narrative himself.

But he CHOSE it. (The same way, some might argue, Ketheric chose not letting Isobel go, but I think Ketheric simply wasn't able to let her go)

Orin is different because she didn't exactly force herself into the narrative; she had always been in the narrative. She was born into the narrative.

No Bhaalspawn is ever free and no Bhaalspawn is ever not Bhaal's tool. She would inevitably be put on Durge's path because Bhaal loves putting his children against each other and because only One Bhaalspawn can remain. She even tried to play by the rules and challenged Durge, who didn't take her seriously and refused.

Both Orin and Gortash are more tragic than Ketheric because they're broken children who can never let it go.

Gortash is willingly not letting it go while Orin is literally trapped in it (her family, her cult, Father Bhaal in her head).

Ketheric is someone who, if convinced he can actually redeem himself (and if Isobel is alive), would try it.

Orin can only be redeemed if you forcibly take her out of her cult and cut off Bhaal's influence getting DIRECTLY INTO HER MIND. (Bhaal doesn't really have children, only victims)

Orin could easily be on Durge's place, tadpoled and amnesiac. Tbh I feel like her losing memory is the only way she could ever break free because for her where was nothing but Cult and Bhaal. She wasn't allowed anything else. Confronted with the truth about her upbringing, she's horrified; she also had been punished by Bhaal before for disobedience, Bhaal commands her what to do and Bhaal literally strips her of her own will and body because this is what Bhaal does. But if we can claw her out of it, knock her memories away and cut Bhaal off? Then she has a chance.

That's pretty much the only way she can have it (there's a reason Jaheira calls her lost soul).

But Gortash would not want redemption because he was not forced into the path of tyranny. He chose it. He quite likes it up on the top. He's comfortable over there being the worst and selling people and giving explosives to children. The only thing better would be if he had someone to share his kingdom with, someone who gets his genius.

If put on the ground, he will try to climb right back again. He doesn't care about freeing himself because in his mind only on the very top is where he is free. This narrative not his cage, it's his castle, he build it and he's not giving it up.

That's why any attempt to actually "redeem" him would fail because he is Not Interested in That. He is interested in Power and Being the Biggest and Strongest. Also so ppl would love him, idk how he plans to balance it out with his tyranny, but he pretty much requires the gaping audience. Admire him, everyone.

I have several plots of dragging him off his high horse bc the other alternative is his death, but all these plots require things to be the way where he's actively stripped of power in some way or another bc only his own survival will make him somewhat cooperate on an equal level (one particular ally, durge or tav, but more often durge aside). He is not a team player. He pretends he is.

There are, sure, some AU salvations for him, but no redemption because He Genuinely Does Not Regret a Thing, nor will he.

Neither is Orin, but Orin is a broken doll with a god of murder in her head. She lost herself so long time ago no one even recalls it.

Gortash has himself because no one ever had him. He will do anything for his survival and this is why he does not want or require redeeming. Not dying from Netherbrain, that's another story. But he inevitably always serves his own interests first.

Orin fights for the awful love and approval of a cruel god, Ketheric's love for his daughter transcends her death.

Orin and Ketheric's narratives are two sides of the same coin.

"A child craving affection of a cruel parent" VS "parent doing unimaginable horrors bc of the love for their child."

Gortash is out of that particular narrative, his narrative is "There's No One But Me. Only I Matter. No one loved me so I will love me in excess. No one loved me so no one deserves my love".

It is an echo and awful influence of his tragic past, but it's something he actively chooses. He loves that narrative of his, even if it doesn't exactly fulfill him 100% (because it's lonely on the top. Because somewhere deep inside Enver Flymm still lives. Because he can't let Enver Flymm go no matter now pathetic that past self of his is).

His tragedy is of being lonely af and not admitting it/not having anyone to match him in his genius, but not his Tyrant Path. This one he chose for himself.

The thing is, of course gods use their Chosen ones. I think Gortash knows that, and I think he also actively uses Bane. He wears the coat protecting him from the fear and is a chosen of a Dread Lord. That's telling. He doesn't actually serve Bane, he serves himself and aligns himself with Bane for as long as it works for him.

[lunabug2004]

I've seen so many people say "I loved Mike until s3/s4" but like... literally what did he do???

I am genuinely asking because he's been my fav since s1 so maybe I've just always seen his POV and not considered others? Idk, in all his arguments I can see both sides... where he's coming from and where the other party is coming from. I think there is always an explanation for the characters on either side of the argument. So ig what I'm asking is: is this a problem with me just giving him too much slack cuz he's my child or is it a problem with others not giving his POV a chance?

EDIT: I want to add that I know he was rude and said some things he didn't mean, but he always apologizes (or at least tries) and obv regrets it every time (lashing out on loved ones is also a trauma symptom just saying). I also just simply don't think that's a reason to hate a character cuz like... who hasn't ever said something they don't mean or been a little rude? He's human, he should be able to make mistakes without the (ga) fandom going crazy hating him.

[vinelark]

do you have any whumpy fic recs (ideally romance, but gen would do in a pinch)? Open to any fandoms. I feel like I used to see them a lot more, but they are harder to find these days. Bbts really hits the spot tho btw haha.

ANY fandoms? oh boy do i.

Hotel Heart by Laughsalot3412 (and its sequel Safe as Houses): not quite romance but not NOT romance ot3 leverage psychics au where eliot is a hitman who used to be under the control of a horrible empath who left him with major mental scars and huge trust issues. he reluctantly ends up protecting another empath (hardison) and thief (parker) and sloooowly starts to work through the aforementioned trauma while they take down the aforementioned evil empath together. excellent series with excellent pangy plot. also i knew nothing about leverage when i first read it and it’s what got me to watch the show.

Hold my Eyes to the Sky by myrmidryad: an enjoltaire/les mis longfic set in a 1970s(?) wizarding au in which grantaire is a very sad and lonely werewolf and the idealistic activist he’s hopelessly in love with just got himself turned as well, and grantaire has to help him navigate the changes while dealing with his own self-worth issues and tragic backstory. you want whump? look no further.

Occultation by Geese_in_flight & pineapplesquid: a novel-length au of the book Winter’s Orbit, in which the main difference is that kiem, not jainan, is the one dealing with a previous, horrible arranged marriage. somehow this simple switch brings so much fresh potential to the characters (i loved seeing how this played into kiem’s self-worth issues, and also loved this exploration of what jainan’s character would be like if he had been able to flourish the last few years), with a whole new set of pangs. i recommend both the book and the fic!

爱不释手; never let me go by yiqie: a post-cql wangxian getting together fic with the classic amounts of yiqie pain & pining & h/c & devastatingly beautiful writing about the devastatingly beautiful experience of being in love. also blood. honestly most fics by yiqie probably fulfill this request (are you into vashwood, perhaps?)

Morning, keep the streets empty for me by feyburner: a wangxian modern au oneshot with self-sacrificing wei ying getting into trouble and landing himself in the hospital while pining very very hard for his cultivation partner. i’m reccing this one out of all feyburner fics because it has the obvious physical hurt but fey is so good at weaving pangs into fic that tbh there’s emotional whump to be found in most of them. also, god-tier writing in general.

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser: a wangxian canon-divergence au that falls into the sickfic whump subgenre. the pangs! wangxian’s love for each other and for a-yuan and the way wwx’s desperation and powerlessness in the face of a sick child (and his own illness) clash with how the world perceives him at the time is so 🤌🤌. this is saved in my h/c favs folder for a reason.

The Long Way Home by itsnatalie: extremely whumpy batfam tim & jason fic, which i’ve definitely rec’d here before but if i’m reccing whumpy longfics it HAS to be on the list. good god this fic is a masterpiece, both for the angst and for the absolute beautiful worldbuilding/navigation of its horror tropes.

and since you like bbts, i’ll also self-rec a few of my older fics! i think you’d probably enjoy this river runs to you, a wangxian/mdzs modern cultivation longfic feat. (sort of) identity shenanigans, angsty backstories, self-worth issues, and the main character getting all manner of hurt. also: you’re the trouble that i always find, a wenzhou/shl dreamsharing/amnesia/sort-of-timeloop fic in which the main character is supposed to dream about killing his love interest but said love interest keeps dreamcrashing to change the plot.

this reclist could’ve been dozens of fics long tbh. i live for The Pangs which usually go hand in hand with good whump, and seek those fics out whenever possible, so as always this is a super incomplete reclist! also i welcome any and all recs in return.

[sanityshorror]

Aside from ASF, what are some of your favorite extreme horror films?

This reminded me, I've actually been meaning to make an extreme horror film tier meme thing lol.

I actually talk about other extreme horror films very often, but I guess ASF becomes what you're known for when people don't understand the reason I watch extreme horror over Hollywood horror. The reason is because I WANT to be disturbed, horrified, and feel uncomfortable when consuming horror media. So with that said. I'm going to list some of my favs that I recommend as well for people who are interested in getting into extreme horror or have yet to see.

Warning SPOLERS

Irreversible is absolutely one of my top extreme horror films. It's an absolute masterpiece and I feel like it truly portrays the reality and trauma and effects of sexual assault. As a victim, I appreciate traumatic things like SA being portrayed realistically, because it's important for people to understand the full extent of the suffering a victim experiences.

Cannibal Holocaust, as stereotypical as that may sound to say, my reasons are probably deeper than one would expect. I appreciate the film because of the political commentary, how it essentially flips what one goes in expecting on its head by showing that the group of Americans who go to make the documentary are actually the true monsters. I also think it's very impressive (and rather rare) to find extreme horror that delivers such a kick to gut without using or heavily focusing on child abuse. I think Irreversible is great for the same reason. The kick to the gut is much more out of left field given how much child abuse is used as a trope.

Trauma (2017) [nicknamed A Chilean Film]. I went into this blind and OH LORD I WILL ADMIT I WAS CAUGHT OFF GUARD AND EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE MORE THAN ONCE. definitely lived up to the nickname it's been given. There's an endurance test scene that is Irreversible tier and the fact the girl puts the gun in her mouth after experiencing that (only to be shot by Juan instead), shows how truly horrifically SA affects victims. I also appreciate the fact that Juan's own trauma was shown in flashbacks, giving an explanation but not an excuse of how he ended up the way he did. The end scene smacked me like the hand of God. Its a movie that does a good job at showing the cycle of abuse.

Salo, I wouldn't say is one of my top extreme horror films, but I'd say it's a must watch at least once. The commentary on fascism being horrid... 🙏

Now, this last one I'm going to mention, is not extreme horror but by far the movie that has left me the most disturbed and to this day: Threads (1984) you will be left very, very, very numb and never quite the same: "You cannot win a nuclear war!" -Threads, before nuclear war.

On a final note, I also am looking forward to rewatching August Underground again soon, I haven't seen it in YEARS and it's recently been officially distributed by the AMAZING @unearthed-films !!!

Psst if y'all like extreme horror books, you should check out The Man with the Scarred Neck (splatterpunk genre) you won't be disappointed ;) (I don't apologize for mentioning this)

[lurkingshan]

This might be an assumption I'm making, but would you say that romance is one of your favourite genres? Are there any other genres that you enjoy? (Yes, I am angling for recommendations even though my to watch list has over 200 shows and movies)

I would in fact say that romance is my favorite genre, I'm something of a romance fiend and have been since I was a wee child. There's a reason I love kdrama and bl so much, and that's because they cater to my tastes so perfectly. I've already shared some of my favorite romance recs here, though I always have more if you need them.

In terms of non-romance dramas, I have plenty of recs for those, as well! Even though romance is my fav I watch a lot of other stuff, too. I recently did a list of friendship focused dramas here. And of course, a lot of dramas include romance storylines even if the main story is not a romance; that is very common in Asian media (and why we love it).

A few other genres that I love, and the dramas I count among my favs in each category:

Action/thriller dramas: Happiness (pandemic zombies and two badass besties who know how to use a bat), Healer (classic kdrama that I need to rewatch again), Reset (cdrama time loop thriller and it is so good), The Crowned Clown (the what if we replaced the king with a fake trope treated with utter seriousness), The Glory (the ultimate revenge drama, cw for extreme depictions of school bullying).

Family dramas: I especially love dramas about families that span years and allow you to see how a family changes over time. Some of my favs include 10 Years Ticket (cw for depictions of family abuse), 18 Again (actually a very sweet one about a dad who ends up back in his teenage body and bonds with his teen children while repairing his marriage), Go Ahead (MY BELOVED I will find a way to include it in every rec post), Go Back Couple (a couple on the verge of divorce goes back in time and gets a do-over), Reply 1988 (best installment of the Reply series with a strong focus on five different families who live on the same block). And of course a recent entry here is Moving (but you know that one already).

Mystery/crime dramas: Beyond Evil (everyone in bl fandom has already heard of this but it is not actually bl fam, it is an excellent crime drama with two magnetic leads though), Extracurricular (poor high school students getting up to some bad shit in order to survive), Manner of Death (a classic mystery with a romance subplot), Signal (A+ long form mystery with a time travel twist), The Smile Has Left Your Eyes (crime drama hingeing on a tragic romance).

Supernatural/fantasy dramas: Alchemy of Souls (supernatural sageuk with magic and body soul swapping and lots of fun), Goblin (do I even need to tell you about this one?), Kingdom (sageuk zombies), Mystic Pop-Up Bar (found family mystical dream healing), Oh No! Here Comes Trouble (also a crime drama but the supernatural part is crucial), The Uncanny Counter (found family grim reapers).

Workplace dramas: Misaeng (THE GOAT), My Mister (set in a workplace but not primarily about work because it's way more about trauma), Pinnochio (kind of crosses genres but I'm putting it here because the leads are reporters and their work is important to the plot), Search: WWW (three women in tech trying not to let the bastards keep them down).

[jooniely]

It's so wild to me but I've noticed with the multiple svsss fanfics I've read, people do not like Yue Qingyuan 😳 like the sv Fanfic fandom is kinda harsh on him?? It's wild to me cuz characters like Shen jiu and original Luo Binghe have fics that paint them in sympathetic light (not all ofc) but the worst Yue Qingyuan has done is not tell Shen Jiu why he never came back and not stop the abuse towards Binghe (we don't know enough about whether he truly never stood up for Shen jiu)

Some write him as this really whimpy wishy-washy way and it's like? He's a sect leader?? His sect is powerful and well known?? He would need to be good as a leader to have a sect that's so recognized!

Yue Qingyuan is not my fav character. He's meh to me but he's not really bad? (Yeah being a bystander to child abuse is bad, but that's something every single character in the story has in common)

I think MXTX's best skill is the psychological complexity she assigns to each character. My fav character to read is Shen Jiu just cuz there's so much there! Followed by Luo Binghe. And there's def fanfic writers who do these characters justice. (My fav fics to read are the Shen jiu is Shen yuan fics cuz wow the drama, the psychology, the mess, the complexity!)

My only hope is that writers can look at each character and analyze why they did what they did. Don't erase things and don't really add things? Like the entire reason Shen jiu is so interesting is that he's a parallel to original Luo binghe, he DID give him a faulty manual and DID abuse him. No need to attribute those to other things to make him misunderstood. He already has things that are misunderstood! The reason he goes to brothels, the relationship with Ning yingying, liu qingge's death. Forcing yourself to admit the good and the bad will force you to be more creative with how you go about writing these characters and potential redemption arcs if u choose to include that

Anyways this was about Yue Qingyuan lmao I ended up somewhere else with the topic but I kinda wanna hear what others think about this. I haven't read the extras of svsss but so far I think yqy never said anything about why he never came back because he was ashamed and felt guilty. Some writers have pointed out how it would feel like an excuse if he were to explain (even tho it wouldn't be, I think if he had told SJ it would have slowly mended their relationship) another mentioned how its cuz of trauma cuz what he went thru was traumatic as well and could have caused some sort of PTSD. Regardless, I don't think the way he is seemingly treated in fanfic matches his "sins" lol

[aghostwithnoname]

Official Fuck Raphael/Hope Appreciation Post

Okay, so this is probably going to upset people but I don't care. I'm real sick of this "Raphael is so hot" BS. Like, firstly, that man is MID at best. Secondly, are we not gonna talk about the fact this man is a certified abuser in every sense of the word? Like, sure he's sweet-talking and clever (most abusers are imo). Newsflash: real monsters are rarely people you find unattractive!!!

What really grinds my gears is that you can stumble on Raphael making a deal with a literal child re: my sweet baby Mol and people are like, "but he's hot though". You can walk through his fucking house filled with all the poor bastards who never stood a chance making a deal with him, stuck forever being punished for their "sins", and people will be like, "Omg, my little cringe man" like??? (Holy god, that whole quest fucked so hard with my religious trauma.)

But if not the BIGGEST fucking red flag for this public adoration of Raphael is how he's treated Hope. It's like to them, she doesn't even exist!! Like, my girl has been stuck in that House of Horrors for gods know how long, still refusing to give into his charms and his sweetly worded promises of power (unlike Korilla, who gladly abuses her sister for Raphael). And Hope helps you because for once, she finally sees a way out. The personal notes kept by Raphael on Hope's torment that you can find throughout the house are difficult to read: he tried to break her in the most insidious of ways. He was physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to her, purely for his pleasure. Purely for the reason that he finds it amusing that he can literally torment Hope in hell.

I get that we don't have to morally approve of every character we like! For comparison on liking "bad" characters, say what you want about Astarion -- He's not a great guy! He's done some pretty bad shit! BUT he was FORCED to do all of those things by Cazador. (Also, kindly fuck the Cazador apologists, seriously.) Astarion's jaded selfishness is not who he really is, which is slowly revealed when you show respect for his personal autonomy and literally the smallest amount of kindness, whether or not you romance him. Raphael, on the other hand, wants to hurt people because it feeds into his "Daddy Mephistopheles didn't give me enough attention" superiority complex -- and tbh, that's just fucking pathetic.

The REAL OG who you all should be praising is Hope.

She has been tormented for centuries. She has been victimized by her own flesh and blood for her abuser. She has been shattered and ground down into her smallest pieces until there's almost nothing left… and yet, she hopes. She hopes for freedom. She hopes that her sister will return to being the person she so fondly remembers from her childhood. She hopes she can trust you, in spite of everything she's been through. Not to mention, when you do free her, Hope is literally one of the most badass companions you can have to help you win that fight! (For all these reasons and more, she reminds me a bit of my other fav girl Karlach.)

The reason Raphael delights in torturing Hope is because hope is a dangerous thing to have when all seems lost -- and that's the entire fucking point. This scared shitless little man sought to bend Hope to his will because her persistence/resistance threatened him, and by the gods, she is my favorite NPC because of that.

As someone who has been abused, by other people, by insidious ideologies, I can never ever, ever side with someone who so clearly mimics the very things that tried to break me and kill what remained of my hope. I see myself in Hope. Her indecision, her fear, as she dares to believe freedom is a possibility. The way her dialogue is delivered (much kudos to her voice actor) directly mimics that same scared voice in my head that second guesses myself, that worries I am not enough, that my abusers were right, that I wasn't ever deserving of happiness or being alive -- and then that same scared voice cuts through it all and screams to survive out of spite, to live happily as the best form of revenge.

Again, I get that we don't have to morally approve of every character we like! I totally understand it -- but I also want you all to expend some critical thinking as to perhaps WHY so many people are fawning over a man who is so clearly is a thinly veiled piece of shit over a woman who dared to challenge him, suffered for it, and emerged victorious.

Hope is fucking amazing. She is a gods-damned survivor. She is fury and vengeance and sorrow and joy all at once. She stays in hell to help the other souls tormented and abused by Raphael. She asks that you visit her some time. She strives to create a home of out the house that was her prison… and truly, I hope every day to be more like her.

[fiendishfyre]

All your thoughts on Walburga Black please

Thank for this ask, I apologize for the incoherent mess Imma bout to vomit out.

First and foremost, I do not think nor agree with her (and in part Orion) using harmful spells on Sirius and Regulus. Using the cruciatus curse on her own kids???? Sorry we already have villains like Voldy and Umbridge. I hate Walburga being made into some pure evil cartoon level villain to her sons. I think she loved them. I can't say it was healthy but the Black family is complicated, no *family* is complicated. And I am not saying she wasn't abusive in a way, but I lean more it was generational trauma she imposed (orion would have as well), along with emotional/mental abuse. They leave their own marks and can be enough to want to leave a family. I mean look at well intention, for all accounts 'good' parents but are super controlling, people have ended up leaving that family as well (I say this as I've seen people share their personal lives and this be one reason why. Which is valid too.) Like praising the child that was behaving well while also throwing insult to other child, 'why can't you be like X'. But enough about her and how she'd have raised the kids. I love her having aspirations but it was cut short, forced to marry Orion. Keeping blood pure and all that jazz. Though I do also like her wanting Orion as well but I tend to go for the former. She was a potions master or at least wanted to be, it was one of her fav subject. She taught the boys early on how to make potions. She also played with Sirius specifically with the piano. Sirius was her fav child, apple of her eyes. She was so proud of him, even when he rebelled and ran off, part of her was proud of how strong her son was. Though she'd not speak it aloud. (Maybe in time she would have but life didn't allow it.) Her angry dictates her at times, she is more expressive in emotions than Orion. Which annoys her, she wants to see his emotions. Not saying she can't completely hold her emotions back, but just that she is more prone to outward emotions. Orion will look at something with disgust while she'll do the same and say it aloud too. She's a goth queen and Bella so took inspo from her fashion sense. Hahahahhaa. Wally was also an excellent duelist. Ruthless. Her relationship with her brothers is..hm, she is envious of Alphard, getting to be born a man and having different expectations. She was firstborn of her line, told she *must* wed well then must help carry the Black family line. Also Alphard had a more carefree (my hcs okay) personality while she thought too much and couldn't be like him. Cygnus was like an annoying little brother she ignored until he was older and less annoying. But she and Al were highkey mean to him. Taking advantage of their older siblings status. RIP Cygnus.

She totally would have messed with/bullied Tom Riddle, hahahaha. "Knights of Walpurgis? Fucking nerd." /joking, maybe.

She's the most gorgeous woman and knows it. Is a bit of a clean freak which she loosens up for when it comes to potions though she's still; careful not to make a big mess.

Okay, yeah, these are *my* thoughts only, please don't get offended or argue. c':

[dixbolik-lovers]

hey i was just wondering, why exactly is carla your fav character?

........so many reasons. OAO

At first, I didn't like him. Carla didn't stand out to me for quite a while. In fact, he was probably close to the bottom of my fav list. What first caught my attention was when I saw, somewhere, someone talking about how different in personality he was as a child.

I started looking into his character more after that, and fell hard.

The thing that makes Carla my absolute favorite is just... him. His personality appeals to me massively; the contrast between his persona as the cold-hearted, cruel, proud First Blood king and his shockingly soft, gentle inner self is excellent, and the moments where we see just how badly his trauma has affected him, despite all of his efforts to appear invincible are just lsjkhjsgh

He's hilarious. He's adorable. He's the most powerful character in the series and an absolute idiot simultaneously. He's probably faking the ultra-deep voice. He can't stand the sound of children crying. He's terrified of Azusa. He got his head stuck in a pumpkin mask.

Carla is incredible, and I adore him. <3

((Also, this post explains some things very well.))