#my insecurities are flairing up bad too

[nebucat]

Today ain't a good day

[lovebugism]

could I request maybe shy!reader trying to play dnd with eddie but she's suuuuuuper nervous and confused and internally panicking about him not liking her anymore if she can't get into it?? Or if you wanna change it up please do!! love you!!

love you! hope you like it! — you get insecure about not liking d&d when a girl joins hellfire (shy!fem!r, hurt/comfort ish, established relationship, 1.4k)

The Hellfire room is void of the boyish bodies that usually fill it. The abandoned classroom, turned freak sanctuary, is now littered with pieces the rogues, clerics, and bards left behind — in half-empty soda cans and crumbled-up bags of potato chips.

While Eddie packs up his binder, filled to the brim with miscellaneous papers, you wander around the long table with a trashcan in hand. The wild-haired boy squints when you chuck Dustin’s crushed Pepsi in the bin. “You don’t have to do that, you know?”

“It’s okay,” you shrug. “I don’t mind.”

Eddie huffs through his nose, feeling too exhausted now to argue. He slides his binder into his bag and watches you rake Gareth’s chip crumbs into the trashcan. The urge to stop you becomes unignorable then. 

“Okay, well, you know what? I mind—” the boy retorts, striding the very short distance to you and snatching the bin from your grip. He smiles a crooked grin and continues in a fantastical accent. “—‘Cause the Dungeon Master’s queen shouldn’t have to clean up after a bunch of lowborns, alright?”

You roll your eyes with a subdued giggle. “Someone’s gotta do it, Eds,” you insist as you reach for the plastic container he took. You exhale sharply when he hides it further behind him, pulling it further out of your way. “I wanna be of some use around here!”

Eddie’s face twists. “Don’t say that.”

You cower beneath his stare. “Well… It’s not like I actually play or anything. I just kinda… sit around… And watch you guys do everything…”

“Well, why would you play?” he laughs. “You don’t even like D&D.”

Something in the way he says it makes you ache. You’ve always felt distantly horrible about it — failing to take interest in something he holds so close to his heart. Hearing him reiterate that fact twists the knife lodged in your chest.

“That doesn’t bother you?” you wonder, impossibly shy. “That I don’t play?”

Eddie shrugs and sits the bin down again. “Why would that bother me?” he scoffs.

“I don’t know… ‘Cause you like it. And it’s your favorite thing to do in the whole world.”

“Well… Maybe not my favorite thing,” he croons with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Your nose scrunches in disdain. His laughter fills the empty room as his ringed hands spread warm along your sides. “I just feel bad,” you confess, gaze averted to the scuffed tile beneath your feet. “You know, that I can’t get into or whatever.”

Eddie meets your subtle pout with an unbothered grin. “There’s nothing to feel bad about. People like different things, babe. That’s life,” he assures you, squeezing softly at your sides. “I mean, it’s no different than me hating The Smiths, right? I still let you play their cassettes in the van, and you still sit in on all my campaigns— and that, sweetheart, is the meaning of true love…”

Unswayed, you jerk softly back when he leans down to kiss you. You frown up at him with your arms crossed between your bodies. “But Rory loves D&D. And she’s super pretty…”

Aurora Edwards was the newest edition to the Hellfire gang. She goes by Rory for short, though, ‘cause she’s cool like that and everything. Her dyed blonde hair is as wild as Eddie’s, cut into a makeshift mullet that sits sort of shaggy on her head — intentionally messy in a way only she can pull off. 

She likes cool music and cool clothes and cool hobbies — because everything she does seems to have some sort of subverted flair to it. She’s smart and she’s nerdy and she’s beautiful. None of which seem fair. You’ve been stirring with feelings of inadequacy since you met her. 

And Eddie doesn’t seem to get any of it. His brows furrow at your words, like none of them have any sort of meaning to him.

“She’s way more your type than I am,” you blurt.

A laugh sputters from his plush mouth. “You think my love for you is contingent on some stupid game?” he chuckles.

The way he says it makes you shrink. You feel sort of stupid about it now. “I don’t know…”

“Well, then, I have done a very shit job of being your boyfriend.”

Your chest stings. “No, you haven’t, Eddie—”

“Mm,” he hums, half playful, as he tilts his pretty head to his shoulder. “I have, though. ‘Cause if you think some other girl liking Dungeons and Dragons is gonna make me love you any less, then I have done something horribly, horribly wrong.”

You bite back a smile at his words, pursing your lips to the side of your mouth until the beam becomes impossible to ignore.

“‘Cause you’re kinda stuck with me, turns out,” the boy continues. “Unfortunately for you.”

“Unfortunately?” you echo with a scoff.

“Yeah. ‘Cause if some other schmuck comes around who likes listening to The Smiths and sitting in the sunshine, he’s gonna have to go through me.”

You breathe sharply through your nose in place of a laugh. “I don’t want another guy, Eds…” you confess, going shy all over again.

His nose scrunches as he plays coy. “Even if he doesn’t smoke?” he wonders in a sheepish murmur.

“Even if he doesn’t smoke.”

“Good,” he beams, pulling you into him by your belt loops. His breath fans over your jaw in a minty-nicotine concoction as he ducks his face closer to yours. “‘Cause I don’t want anyone else, either, alright? Even if they are almost as good as me at D&D… Actually, it’s kinda a turn-off, now that I’m thinking about it…”

“Is it?”

“Yeah… ‘Cause, like, I love teaching you about it and everything.”

“Even when I have no idea what you’re talking about?”

“Especially when you have no idea what I’m talking about,” he laughs, smiling so hard his cheeks speckle pink. “‘Cause you know how much I like it, so… You let me talk all the shit I want.”

“’S just because you’re so pretty when you talk about things you like,” you confess.

His face twists. “Am I?”

“Well, you’re pretty all the time, but…”

“You flatter me,” he huffs and pulls you closer. He smirks and goes quieter when he says, “And flattery goes a long way with me.”

“Does it?” you hum with a sunshine-coated giggle.

Eddie doesn’t answer you with words. He just presses his lips to your mouth and hopes you get the gist. His tongue swipes against yours, soft and sudden, as he guides you towards the table. You run into a rogue chair before he can get you on top of it. It screeches against the linoleum tile. 

With his face in your hands, you giggle against his mouth. His denim-clad knee slips between your thighs.

The door squeaks softly open then. Rory enters, swift and unthinking. You and Eddie pull apart — one looking much more horrified than the other — as the blonde girl stands frozen in the doorway. Drowning in her sweatshirt and baggy jeans, she points a lanky finger towards the table.

“Sorry,” she apologizes, voice gritty and deep. “I just left my girlfriend’s jacket here, and she doesn’t know I stole it, so… She’d definitely kill me if I forgot it.”

“That’s okay. Come in,” Eddie shrugs with a tightlipped smile, nodding his head in a silent invitation. When Rory plucks the coat from the back of her chair, he says, “Tell Jess I said hi, yeah?”

The girl scoffs as she heads back towards the door again, leaving just as quickly as she came. “She still hates you, you know that, right?” she laughs. ‘Cause Jess was a cheerleader — pretty and sometimes kind, but dreadfully conservative. Her uptight nature often clashed with Eddie’s much more chaotic one. 

“Well, tell her to get in line,” Eddie chuckles.

Before Rory leaves the room, she glances at the two of you over her shoulder. She winks with an eye smudged with black liner. “Have fun, you two,” she croons in a pretty voice before shutting the door behind her.

You stand, still and silent in place, wringing your anxious hands into a knot. Feeling like a total idiot, you refuse to meet Eddie’s gaze. You know he’s got a smug look on his face. You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “See? Not my type at all.”

[singularattitudeofasafetypin]

Safe With Me

Masterlist

Summary: Reader gets anxious when Eddie drives fast but is afraid to tell him in case he thinks she's boring.

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings: insecurity, descriptions of anxiety, reference to a parent driving dangerously when mad

Please don't steal my work

Eddie always drives like a maniac.

His rickety old van was infamous around town, careening down quiet roads and scaring the life out of their residents. Hopper had issued more tickets than he could count but nothing seemed to deter him. Maybe it was the rush it gave him? The thrill of breaking the rules or maybe he was just reckless?

Whatever it was, it just wasn’t the same for you.

Driving always made you anxious. You could count on one hand the number of times you’d driven since getting your licence. Every time you tried your mind was flooded with all the things that could go horribly wrong. Panic set in your chest. Thoughts rushing so loud you couldn’t focus on the road in front of you. You didn’t even own your own car.

But it ran deeper than that.

When you were younger, you could always tell if your dad was mad by the way he drove. Always pushing the speed limit after an argument, getting just a little too close to the car in front and yelling out the window when someone got in his way. Your heart would race, breath hitch when he broke sharply, and your foot tap on an imaginary break when he didn’t slow ‘til the last minute. Thankfully, nothing bad had ever happened to you, but it frightened you all the same.

When you and Eddie got together a few months back, the thought hadn’t even crossed your mind. You’d had a crush on him forever! All it took was a push from Nancy and a shove from Dustin to find out he felt the same way.

Eddie was wonderful! The perfect boyfriend really. You couldn’t be happier.

But then he’d offered to drive you home.

You’d happily climbed into the passenger seat, smiling as he shut the door behind you. He kissed your cheek, flicked on the radio, and turned the key in the ignition.

It was all you could do not to gasp when he pulled out of the parking lot.

From the first lurch, your heart began fluttering like a bird straining against your ribs, desperate to be free of its cage. Eddie kept talking like nothing was wrong. You could barely make out his words over the noise of the radio and the rushing panic in your ears. You tried to smile and nod at what you hoped were appropriate times but adrenaline was coursing through your body, breath coming in sharp, shallow gulps.

He skidded to a halt outside your house and immediately hopped out to get the door for you.

‘Your palace, my lady!’ he grinned, helping you down by the hand with his usual theatrical flair. You smiled weakly.

‘Thanks Eddie.’

He kissed you goodbye and you did your best to smile and wave as he went tearing down the street and around the corner before letting a shaky breath out. Residual nausea beginning to dissipate as you stepped inside.

In hindsight, maybe you should have just talked to him. Told him how you felt, been honest. You know, the sort of thing you’re supposed to do in relationships but it was all still so new! You rehearsed the conversation in your mind a thousand times but it just sounded pathetic. Like you were making a big deal out of nothing. Maybe you were? ‘Just leave it!’ you thought, ‘He’ll think you’re so boring!’

So instead, you made excuses.

‘Sorry Eds, I can’t. My mum’s picking me up today!’

‘I want to bike home today. It’s so sunny!’

‘I’m going to Nancy’s, she said she’d take me.’

It was all going so well until the universe turned against you. Or rather, the weather did.

You stood under the bike shelter, staring up at the charcoal sky as fat raindrops fell hard against the roof. They spattered over the school parking lot, sloshing in puddles and trickling along the gutters while a bitter wind waxed and waned. Icy drips hit your knuckles, white as they gripped your bike’s handlebars. You sighed. Ten minutes since school ended and the sky had only gotten darker. The rain wasn’t stopping any time soon.

Tugging the yellow hood of your raincoat over your head, you ventured out into the deluge. You were busy dreading every second of the freezing ride home when your attention was caught by a familiar voice hollering your name. You couldn’t help but smile when you turned. Eddie was sprinting toward you, his own dark raincoat held over his head rather than around his shoulders while his scuffed-up trainers splashed along the ground.

‘No way am I letting you bike home in this!’ he scolded good-naturedly when he reached you, ‘Let me give you a ride home!’

Your smile faltered.

‘It’s okay Eddie…’ you searched frantically for a reason to refuse him, ‘I was just gonna call my mum!’

Sure, you were! Halfway across the parking lot, clearly heading away from school. The lie was so obvious, Eddie nearly laughed. ‘Don’t you remember? You said she was at work today!’

‘Oh yeah,’ Idiot! You cursed yourself, ‘Nancy then! We’ve actually been meaning to meet up and study.’

Eddie frowned a little, ‘She’s got that thing after school, doesn’t she? I saw her unlocking the darkroom on the way out.’

Strike two!

‘Yeah, I uh…’ your confidence crumbled, ‘I can just wait for her or something…’ The ruse was becoming thinner by the second. Eddie folded his arms.

‘What’s this actually about?’ he asked, ‘Why won’t you just let me take you home?’ His words weren’t angry or accusing, just confused, but a flicker of panic began to rise in your chest. ‘You haven’t let me drive you anywhere for weeks,’ he went on, ‘Have I done something to upset you?’

‘No!’

‘Then what is it?’ his dark brown eyes filled with worry as thunder rolled in the distance. Eddie’s arms ached from holding his coat, his fingers bitterly cold. The rain had seeped into his shoes and through his socks but he didn’t care. All that mattered was figuring out what he’d done wrong!

It didn’t make sense. He couldn’t remember anything he’d said or done that could make you pull away. You were just as content and affectionate most of the time but at the end of the school day, you couldn’t seem to lose him fast enough.

You wouldn’t look him in the eye now, your hands gripping your bike so tight he was afraid you might hurt yourself. How had he managed to screw up the best thing that had happened to him so soon?

‘Please?’ he was begging, the slight tremor in his voice betraying his fear as you bit your lip nervously, ‘Just tell me!’

‘I don’t like it when you drive fast!’

You just sort of blurted it out. No ceremony, no elegance. The words fell clumsily from your mouth, tugged almost involuntarily. Eddie didn’t say anything.

Now the words wouldn’t stop, tumbling out too fast, trying to justify. ‘I know, it’s stupid! Childish, I know!’ Despite the cold, you felt your cheeks turn warm. ‘But it just makes me really anxious and I-!’

‘Is that all?’

You stopped abruptly, looking up as an elated smile began to pull at the corner of his mouth. This wasn’t what you’d expected. His eyes held a mixture of gratitude, guilt, and hope.

‘Yeah?’ your voice came out uncertain but the smile only spread wider.

It was as though a weight had been lifted. Of course, Eddie felt awful that he’d scared you, even more so that he hadn’t even noticed. But this, this was something he could fix! He laughed a little, almost giddy with relief. ‘So then, I just won’t drive fast baby!’

You blinked in surprise, rendered speechless. Eddie shrugged his coat on at lightning speed, his hair already sodden by the time he was easing your bike from your grip. ‘Really?’ You hadn’t expected it to be that simple. He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head as though it was obvious.

‘Really! Now come on, you’re getting soaked!’ and without waiting for an answer, he turned and started wheeling your bike across the parking lot. You hurried after him, puddles splashing under your feet and wetting your socks.

‘You mean it?’ you asked when you reached the van. Eddie was pulling open the doors and stowing your bike safely in the back. He just nodded, opening the passenger side door next and helping you in.

He climbed in the other side, wriggling his coat off and tossing it behind him before turning the key in the ignition. You fiddled anxiously with your fingers. ‘You don’t think I’m being annoying?’ insecurity gnawed away at your stomach, ‘Or boring? Or silly? Or-? ‘

‘Sweetheart,’ Eddie interrupted, taking your hand and pressing a reassuring kiss to your fingertips. He looked up at you with those kind, warm eyes and melted your concern with his soft, tender voice, ‘I want you to feel safe with me.’

You sighed out. There was no deception, no hidden irritation or passive aggression. Eddie really meant it. He wanted you to be happy. Your peace was his priority.

‘Okay?’ he asked, still watching your face for confirmation.

You smiled shyly and nodded, ‘Okay.’

Eddie grinned back, pressing another kiss to your hand before dropping it and returning his own to the steering wheel.

True to his word, the ride home was as gentle as you could have wished for. You doubted Eddie had even driven this responsibly on his test… if he’d ever taken one. After five or ten minutes, you found the usual anxious knot that twisted in your chest had unwound. The tension in your muscles evaporated and soon you were laughing and joking with Eddie and singing along to the radio.

Before you knew it, he was pulling up outside your house. Funny, you thought, he’d been so cautious and yet the journey seemed to take half the time. You kissed his cheek and hopped down from the van.

The rain had stopped. Tarmac still dark and damp and small puddles were left here and there but blue sky and sunshine were breaking through the clouds, warming the sidewalk and glittering gold in the dew drops.

‘Can I pick you up tomorrow?’ Eddie asked, opening up the back to lift your bike out. He was tentative, worried he was pushing too far but you smiled and nodded.

‘Yes, thanks Eddie!’

You took the bike from him and turned to wheel it toward the porch when an indignant ‘Hey!’ sounded behind you. Eddie clutched at his heart, collapsing onto the side of the van gasping dramatically, ‘No goodbye kiss? Oh, cruel temptress! Is there no compassion? No mercy?’

With peals of laughter, you ran back to oblige him. He squeezed his arms around you, smiling so hard it was hardly a real kiss. This time, there was no barrier between you. No shadow, no secrets. Only the sweetness that honesty in love brings.

You walked your bike back down the garden path, waving to Eddie as the van pulled away. You watched him draw further and further down the street until he disappeared around the corner.

You smiled and rummaged for your keys. The weight on your shoulders had dissolved to nothing and somehow, you were even lighter than before.

Eddie Munson always drove like a maniac.

Until he didn’t.

Until you.

***

Thank you so much for reading! I really enjoyed writing this. If you liked it, please reblog and comment! I love hearing what people thought of my writing! Check out my masterlist for more!

Taglist: @sadbitchfangirl, @neewtmas, @ladymunson

[carolmunson]

caught like a fool without a line. (older!modern!eddie)

part five of who knows how many. orange colored sky setlist.

summary: we've been seeing eddie for a month and the fear starts to settle in. with eddie's past and present making things difficult and your own insecurities brewing, things come to a bit of a head one night when you're out at a bar. featuring older!robin and our favorite guy older!steve from @loveshotzz series 'all i really want is you'.

tw: age gappy (reader and eddie are 12 years apart, but reader is late late 20s/early 30s and eddie and late late 30s/early 40s throughout this story so it's not like so bad). drunk!reader, alcohol consumption, discussions of eddie's promiscuous past (i know some people don't like when eddie is a slut), implied that reader wears eddie's clothes to bed but not that reader is small. gifs by: @keerysbrandnewbg and @eddiemunsonsource

songspiration: open | rhye and feelings | lauv

You swirled the big ice cube in the tumbler with an unenthusiastic flair, making the orangey red liquid in the glass nearly spill. “And I don’t get it, we had a really nice first date and then made out again the next week and talked all the time and now he’s barely texting me back,” you complain, the tart grapefruit of your friend’s new take on an Aperol Spritz floods your mouth at your next sip.

“Maybe he’s just busy,” your friend Charlie suggests from behind the bar, “He’s older, you said, right? He might just not be on his phone as much. Do you like the drink? Is it too bitter?” 

“It’s bitter but not in a bad way, in a good citrussy way,” you nod, “And yeah he might not be on his phone as much but then why just sort of suddenly drop off and barely respond? Like, look at this.” You take out your phone, laying it on the bar and scrolling through a plethora of blue texts with some sprinkles of gray in between, “I look so pathetic.” “I think you just really like him,” she shrugs, smirking, “And I think that’s good, you haven’t been this excited about someone for a little bit.” “Yeah, but every time I’m excited about someone it bites me in the ass,” you lean on the palm of your hand, flipping your phone over, “Plus like, I’m not trying to be with anyone like that right now.” 

Your friend gives you a look, “Okay, sure.” 

“What do you mean ‘okay, sure’?” you scoff. 

“You’re not trying to be with anyone like your ex,” Charlie corrects, her dark red lips pulling into a smirk, “You go on and on about how you just want someone to take care of things for you. Maybe he’s that kind of dude.” 

“He has someone come every Sunday to clean his house for him,” you sip the drink again, “I don’t think he can take care of anything for me, considering I can clean my own house.”  The bar slowly starts to fill up with the after work crowd, leaving Charlie to run back and forth between you and pouring beers for incoming patrons.

“He can afford to have someone come and clean his house,” she says with a smirk, holding down the tap while she fills a glass with Lagunitas, "That's kind of hot." You flip your phone back over and sigh, no new messages.

If anything is true in the music and art world Eddie is involved in it's that Eddie Munson is a professional loverboy. Never with someone for too long, never long enough for them to want something more than fun -- never long enough for 'Are you my boyfriend?' never long enough for 'What are we?' It got easier the older he got, the less women and men cared about labels. You were right to make that judgement about his key carabiner hanging on the front of his keys. Eddie Munson is a slut, and everyone knows it but you.

He had two actual girlfriends in his early twenties, but nothing quite like his friendship with Steve. 'Platonic life partner, sometimes,' they'd list it as -- never too afraid to get affectionate. Hugs, kisses on the forehead, Eddie held him so many nights when Emma died he felt like they left an indent in the center of the bed. He touched and loved the people who loved him back, but to anyone else – he never wanted to get too close. He always gave out just enough of him – enough for people to keep wanting more, a satisfaction he basked in now since he was such a loner in high school with no notches to his belt. 

But now he’s blabbering on to Robin over a huge plate of nachos about how you texted him all day. You texted him all day and he had his phone charging in the kitchen while he was upstairs in his office so he didn’t know and now it’s very clear that you’re upset. 

"Okay? How is this different from the girl you were seeing over Christmas?" Robin laughs over a mouthful of loaded nachos, a frosty pink Frosé next to her to beat the heat. Her eyes crinkle closed, a smattering of freckles stretching on the apples of her cheeks when she smiles. The heat of a sunburn runs soft pink over her nose, outside of the gray in her sand blonde hair that she'll never dye, she looks almost the same as she did in high school. “So you didn’t text her back,” she shrugs, “You leave her alone, she fades off into the distance – just like the girl before that, and the guy before that, and the girl before that. Why're you talking about it like it's the end of the world?”  "I care," he groans, turning his phone to show Robin your messages. You'd sent them every few hours, but most of the messages from the morning and afternoon were from when he was working -- phone nestled on the charger down in the kitchen while he clacked away on code upstairs. By the time he saw them he was embarrassed, and you were probably already at your friend's bar. Eddie tries to explain the whole situation while Robin scrolls through with a careful and soft expression, a tiny smile forming on her face. 

“I already fucked it up,” Eddie sighs, pulling his hair up into a ponytail with volume hair stylists would envy. He runs his hand over his jaw, following the edge of it to land behind his neck where he squeeze gently on the muscle.

Robin shrugs again, passing his phone back to him, “Par for the course, kid.” 

His eyes narrow, “I’m older than you.” 

“Whatever,” she rolls her eyes, “You always fuck it up, Ed. That's your thing. You walk into a room and someone leaves crying. You've never done the whole sappy love thing with someone, why do you think you're changing your tune now?”

“I know but – fuck Robin, I didn’t even sleep with her yet,” he says a little louder than he intends. His tattooed hand wraps around the Pilsner glass in front of him, dripping in condensation, bringing it to his lips.

“That’s a new development,” she raises her brows, crossing her legs, "You never wait this long."

“I just…I don’t…I shit – I don’t know.” 

“What did Steve say?” Robin asks, teeth biting down on the straw to her drink, “He always has good girl advice.” 

“I haven’t even told Steve.” 

“At all?!” she nearly spits out the frose all over the nachos.

“Rob we just buried Em,” he explains softly, “Like, she’s not even fuckin’ cold yet. I can’t just come out of the woodwork five months later like ‘Hey man, think I actually met a girl I’d consider a future with. We’ve been seeing each other for a month’. And like – what if I’m just psyching myself out? What if this is just an early midlife crisis?” 

Robin takes a slow sip, nodding while he speaks before taking a pause. “Ed, I think you’ll feel better if you tell Steve,” she offers, “I think he’d get your head straight about it. But in the meantime, you should text her back.”

“What do I even say?” he huffs, shoving a loaded nacho into his mouth.  “Try honesty with a woman for once in your entire life, Rockstar boy,” Robin plasters on a customer service smile that makes him let out a frustrated ‘tsss’, “It won’t kill you.” "Here, I'll text Nance and ask her -- she's our next best bet," Robin takes out her phone and types with the fervor of a teenager with a sugar high. Eddie sips his beer, looking at the screen of his phone while the cursor to type blinks back at him.

You stumble out of the bar, too crowded now to have fun with your friend. Over tired and over served you make your way down the street and around the corner, stopping to lean against the brick wall of a different bar when you feel your phone buzz in your hand. You take a minute, taking in your surroundings. People are so loud down here, and everyone is so pretty. Street lights are there and gone and there and gone as cars whiz passed on Delancey, the bustle of the Friday night life in the LES is a buzz with excitement. You're already a little down for the count. Your phone feels like a paper weight in your hand, sighing with satisfaction at the notificaiton on the screen. But your chest still aches with annoyance, how many times were you gonna get drunk at a bar with a swollen heart over some dumb boy? Man? Guy?

You don't want him to come save you, you know how to get home. You can see the green bulbs of the train entrance and the glow of the McDonalds 'M' on the corner in the distance. Down the stairs, one train into Brooklyn, cross platform transfer -- you've done it drunker than this countless times before. You text Charlie with an air of victory before putting your phone back in your smart black faux leather bag slung over your shoulder. The warm summer air flows over your legs, catching the hem of your a-line skirt -- the light material flowing in the breeze. Time isn't working quite right for you but it feels like it's been five minutes and he hasn't shown up, so you make your way to the edge of the corner to cross.

"Whoa there, Peach," you hear Eddie's gruff voice from the side of you, the pull on your arm the same as when he steadied you at Trader Joe's a month ago, "Careful now."

You pull out of his hold, glassy eyes focused on the black and white stripes on the street ahead of you, "I know what I'm doin'."

“Where are you goin’, huh?” he asks softly. Eddie steps in front of you, guiding you to the light post to get out of the way of other pedestrians.

“Home,” you slur, “M’goin home. Trainssright there.” 

“I don’t think you’re good to take the train,” his voice is gentle, hand coming out to hold you at the waist, “I can get you a car.” 

“I’m fine.” It's the only sentence that comes out lucid, his jaw ticks.

"You don't look fine," he looks down into your glassy eyes, a look he's seen before. The way his mama would drown herself in whiskey and stumble into the kitchen so the bruises would't hurt so bad. The way an old fling would slur to him about how she can't live without him. The way you look so sad and it's his fault.

"I'm. Fine," you reiteratie. The light changes, the bright white of the walk sign flashes across the street. You go to pass him but his hands place themselves on your shoulders. "You really wanna get boiled alive on the train?" he asks with a smile, "You don't wanna take a car?" You sigh, why does he have to be so handsome? The gin from your last two drinks travels from your head to your thighs, pulling them together at the sight of his smile. He has that ratty vest on, a CBGC t-shirt sticking to him under it, the sleeves completely torn off. He smells like cedar and citrus again, a hint of a left over cigarette. His grays catch the light of the over head lamp, bouncing like tinsel in his pony tail sitting on the crown of his head. "Can we go to your house?" you ask, voice raised a higher octave than normal. His face blanches, "Aw honey, that's not a good idea. I don't want you to think that I --" "Please?"

"Thanks, have a good night," Eddie waves off the delivery man with a smile as he rides away on his bike. With plastic in hand he makes his way back up the stairs where you've set up shop on one of the stools in his kitchen, head down on the island counter.

"Food's here," he says quietly. Dealing with drunk you was very much like dealing with drunk Robin in the early 2010s, overgrown toddler in a bad mood. You let out a half hearted 'Yay', head coming up, eyes half closed in the kind of sleepiness a few mixed drinks and some beers can send you into. He goes into the fridge and pulls out two bottles of Poland Spring and a beer for himself. The waters get placed in front of you while he tends to getting the food plated up.

You ignore the water -- Blue Moon bottle staring right at you, and to be honest -- a cold cirtussy beer sounds sooo good right now. You reach forward, the glass ice cold against your palm now that the liquor has fully settled, heating up your skin. The sound of glass on the counter cobbles through the kitchen when you slide it closer to you, alerting Eddie to the noise.

“Excuse me,” he says sharply, snatching the bottle out of your hand, “Can you behave?” 

You pout when his eyes narrow at you, heart thumping guiltily in your chest, shame brewing in your skin. You nod back at him with sad eyes, a twinge plucking in your heart strings.

“Don’t give me that face,” he warns, “Don't act up."

“I don’t like when you’re mean,” you mumble softly, running your fingers in shapes over the butcher's block counter top. He sighs, plating your sandwich and pulling your fries from the bag. He kisses your temple while he slides the plate in front of you. "I'm sorry, honey," he says quietly, but gin always puts you in the mood to argue. "You don't have to talk to me like, like -- you don't have to talk to me -hic!- like I'm a kid," you hurtle out, surprised at your own gumption, "I'm not."

"I know," he says, putting the bags into his recycling bin under the sink, "I'm not talking to you in any kind of way Peach I -- " "You don't even like me," you state. His head cocks to the side, leaning on his hands while they hold on to the edge of the island. "Who said that?" "I was -hic!- I was talking to someone at the bar about --" you start, lump building in your throat, "About you and um -- they said, they said it sounds like --" Your eyes water, "Like I'm just for fun." "Oh," he says, looking down at his hands. The weight of this conversation falling into his stomach from his chest like a deep pit.

"Like I'm just fun for you to play with -- but like, you don't even wanna have -- you don'even wanna h-have-have seggzwithme so like -- you don't even like me." More and more if your insecurities flow out of you like a broken faucet, tears starting to slip down your cheeks.

"And like you probably don't even think I'm pretty."

"Oh, baby, no," he coos, brows tilted in sympathy while you drunkenly let all your sober fears out, "I think you're so pretty."

"So pretty," you repeat, wiping your face with your hands, "But that's it."

Eddie takes a deep breath, coming over to you and pressing his warm soft lips to your cheek, "Let's talk about this in the morning, sweetheart. I'm gonna get upstairs ready for you."

"I should just go home," you sniffle, embarrassment starting to flow through you with your bloodstream, burning all your pores, "I'm sorry." "No, no, don't go home," he assures, nose nuzzling against your cheek, "Stay. Just stay."

He makes sure you eat, watching you come back to yourself the fuller and more hydrated you get. You're easy to lead upstairs, pliant and tired now, needy almost -- not that you'd ever admit to it. You tease him about his 'old man pills' when he takes out his perscription high dose Motrin he got for some old back pain. Great for when you might get a killer hangover these days. You grimace at the Pedialyte mixture he has you drink before you get tucked into his bed -- out before you can even feel him grab the pillows and a throw from the other side of you. He settles in downstairs on the sectional, sighing while he thinks about the way your face scrunches when you're about to cry. He flicks through his Hulu options on the big screen in front of him but nothing really seems to catch his attention. Mind wandering to you asleep upstairs but knowing better than to crawl into bed next to you when you're not yourself enough to say it's okay. The familiar buzz of his phone goes off on the coffee table, when he picks it up his face is on the front screen while someone calls in on FaceTime. "You're callin' late, man," Eddie grins lazily, socked feet sticking out to rest on the worn walnut table in front of him, "You okay?" "Yeah me and Bandit just got in from camping. Got some pics of him to send you, he's such a scamp." "You have fun?" he asks, rubbing his eyes. Eddie's voice is quiet while he speaks making Steve's head cock to the side. The lights changes on his face while he walks from the living room to his bedroom. "Yeah we had a lot of fun," Steve starts, "Why're you whispering?" "What do you mean?" Eddie asks, getting up off the couch to pad back into the kitchen. "You're talkin' all quiet," Steve smirks, "You got a girl over or something?" Ed puts his phone down and huffs while he grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet. Steve giggle, leaning his head in closer to the screen. "You do, don't you?" he guffaws, "Am I interrupting?" "She's sleeping," Eddie says softly, picking up the phone again and leaning against the counter. "Aw, so you ended up texting her back? Good."

"What the fuck? Who told you that?" Eddie's brows furrow, spitting through a mouthful of chips. "Robin, obviously." The light changes on him again while he makes his way to his own kitchen. Bandit's little pants and huffs echoing into the phone, "You think Nancy came up with the 'Hey pretty girl,' opening? She's never been a flirt."

"Well it worked so, congrats."

"Why didn't you tell me about her?" Steve pulls his own bag of chips out. They crunch together. "It just didn't seem right," he shrugs, "Y'know with Emma it's hard to be like, 'Hey I think I might actually see a future with this girl I've only been seeing for a few weeks.' Like, you just lost the love of your life."

"I'm not gonna be sad to hear that you're into someone, Ed," Steve smiles softly, voice calm, "Tell me about her."

So he does, he tells Steve about how he kept running into you that day at Trader Joe's and how he felt so stupid for not waiting at the doors for you but he was too scared. You were so cute in your bike shorts and sneakers, so careful in how you chose the fruit you were gonna get. When he saw you on the platform he knew it was like he was getting a second chance -- "Maybe Em thought you should stop being such a whore and sent her over," Steve laughs. Ed rolls his eyes but can't hold back his chuckle, watching as Steve rests his chin on the heel of his hand while he listens. Eddie talks about the picnic date, how he immediately felt comfortable telling you about his mom. The rain, the kiss in his apartment -- how he could've fucked you but didn't. How all your little dates had gone since.

"Oh so you like her," Steve nods.

"I'm scared," Eddie says quietly. "Scared?"

"What if it's just a fluke and I hurt her? Or I get hurt?" Eddie asks, "And like -- please don't take this the wrong way but like -- what if I put in all this effort and then lose her?"

"Like how I lost Em?"

Eddie nods slowly, not wanting to say the quiet part out loud. He talks about what you said when you got back to his place, how you think he doesn't really like you, how he doesn't think you're pretty. You're just for fun. "But this doesn't feel like 'just for fun', does it?" Steve challenges gently, "Cause if she was just for fun you would've texted me about if she could deep throat or not."

Eddie chuckles darkly, pink rising on his cheeks -- Steve chuckles too. Still gross boys who are gross.

"You should tell her how you feel," he encourages, "What's the worst that can happen?" "Everything."

"Okay," Steve shrugs, "I lost everything. And what happened?"

"We all came to pick you up." "Exactly. We'll be here to pick you up, too. Don't like..." Steve sighs, "Don't just immediately throw something away just because you're not used to it. The more you stand there and think about what you want, the less she's gonna think you want it."

"I know..." "So let her know you want it."

They talk for an hour, both cozied up on their respective couches -- Bandit immediately getting in the frame and yelping at Eddie's face on the screen. The seize in Eddie's chest loosens because maybe this could be okay. Now he just has to make sure you know it.

You wake up the next morning, groggy and dry -- but thankfully not nearly as hungover as you were expecting. Your joints hurt, your stomach's a little jumbled, but no headache and that's what matters the most. You shift in his crisp sheets, turning around to see that the bed is empty next to you -- pillows and throw blanket gone with him. You slept alone. You look at your phone on the bedside table next to a full bottle of water. You chug it while you check your notifications -- 6:11 AM. If anything was true, you always woke up too early when you drank too much the night before. The water sits heavy in your belly, pressing your bladder which was already screaming for you to go to the bathroom. With a sigh you stand up, and when you do, the embarrassment of the night before settles in. Your emotional hangover.

You pad to the bathroom and pee, seeing your face in the mirror like you did the night you got rained out. Your makeup is smeared, face a little bloated -- you do your best to wash it off. The cool water feels good against your skin, still hot from the liquor and dehydration. You pat your face dry and leave the bathroom, lingering at the top of the stairs where he's laying on the couch, already awake. "G'morning," you rasp out. He perks up, head tilting up to look at you from his place in the living room. "Morning, peach," he smiles, "You feelin' okay?"

You nod, ungracefully stomping down the metal steps of the spiral staircase while you get your footing, "Your old man pills must be magic or something."

Eddie pulls back the blanket, scooching back against the cushions to make room for you to lay down next to him, "C'mere, baby."

C'mere, baby runs down your spine, making your throat catch. You make your way towards the couch, crawling in next to him. The living room is quiet, with just some early morning sun pooling into the windows -- like you two are the only people awake on the street this morning. He covers you up, wasting no time wrapping himself around you and pulling you into him, "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," you nod into his chest, the scent of his skin mixing with the faint smell of cirtus and cedar, "Did you?" "Normally I'm fine on the couch," he says, voice grizzly and sleepy, "But I didn't sleep a wink last night." "Oh, I'm sorry. I could've slept on the couch or I --" "No, it's not that," he shakes his head, catching your gaze, "Probably would've slept better if you were next to me." Your cheeks burn, a smile splittling across your face, "Well I'm here now."

"You are," he nods, leaning up to run his thumb over the apple of your cheek where a stray piece of glitter sits. Remnants of your makeup that you couldn't wash away.

"I'm um...sorry for how I acted last night," you confess, "That's not like -- that's not how I am."

"Don't be sorry," he assures quietly, "I understand." You're both quiet for a moment, the hum of the central air fuzzing the silence between you. "You're not just for fun, peach," he says, a seriousness to his normally playful voice, "I'm sorry I made you feel like that." "I um -- I'm sorry I kind of went a little insane," you shrug, feeling small, "I didn't mean to text all those times and then come here and cry and like --" "Stop apologizing," he says, thumb grazing your lower lip to stop you, "You were just feeling a way, that's okay. I get it." He takes his thumb away, leaning down to give you a kiss that sends you reeling. Warm and soft, delicate. His hands lead his arms around you again, smiling when you reach up to cup his cheek. "I like you," Eddie smirks against your mouth. "I like you, too," you smile when he breaks away. "The deli's open on the corner if you want me to run over and get a bacon, egg, and cheese," he offers quietly. "Why do I feel like you were gonna do that anyway?" you ask in the same tone. "I was," he grins again, "I just wanted to impress you by asking." He sits up, clamboring over you to get some coffee started so it'll be done by the time he gets back. You wait patiently for him, rolling your eyes while he shoves his socked feet in his slides, leaving the house in his pajamas of a t-shirt and black joggers. You prepare the coffees, feeling domestic like you live here -- getting used to where things are already.

He comes back twenty minutes later, sighing when the air conditioning hits him as the door opens, "It's already like, 80 degrees."

"Gross," you reply, face scrunching in the way that he likes, "Coffee is ready." "Oh, thank you." His eyes glitter at the gesture, seeing that you used the same mugs from when he had you over the first time. Those are his favorites, but you'll learn that eventually. The sandwhiches are tossed on the butcher block counter where you cried last night, but your embarrassment melts away when you feel him wrap himself around you again -- like he can't get enough. "I'm playing a show on Thursday at House of Yes," he says, "They're doing a metal theme'd night." "Yeah?" you ask, hands reaching for the plastic baggy and taking out both of your sadwhiches wrapped in foil. His arms still tight around your middle while you maneuver around your kitchen. "You should come," he asks, kissing the top of your head, "I'll get you a ticket."

"I don't know if that's really my scene," you shrug, twisting in his hold to face him, "I'm not like -- I'm not cool and underground like that." "So?" he quirks his brow, "You can be cool and underground for one night to hang out with your hottie rockstar boy-toy."

"That's so gross that you described yourself that way," you laugh, pushing out of his hug and opening your sandwhich, "Like, so cringey, babe." "Babe," he repeats back to you, "I like that. You can call me 'babe' whenever you want." "Duly noted," you agree, teeth sinking into the bread of the roll and breaking into the warm and gooey center. The jumble in your stomach starting to fade away while the grease of the egg soothes it. Eddie takes his sandwhich and coffee to the living room, taking his phone off the coffee table to open up his text conversation with Steve:

she called me babe.

i literally can't even breathe right now.

prev | next

[tom-foolery-incorporated]

if you're comfortable with it can i request levi sexting reader pls? i just feel like he would be much more confident sexting you from behind a screen than he ever would be when taking action irl

You've got a point, my dude

NSFW MDNI, sexting, AFAB! Reader, gender neutral, racially ambiguous, dirty talk, two dicks for Levi, told through Levi's perspective, 2nd person POV for reader

It was kind of awkward for Leviathan. The way his pants tightened whenever he thought about you. He questioned whether or not you had cast some sort of curse on him but after seeing your less than novice skills casting beginner spells that was quickly ruled out. While you two have been dating for some time, you have never been intimate with each other. Levi was too shy to try to pursue a sexual relationship with you no matter how much he dreamed about having your lips wrapped around one of his cocks while you jack off the other under his desk as he plays video games on his computer.

This desperate want for your body coupled with Levi's shyness ended up with him seeking out demon x human porn. Specifically, Levi would search for human pornstars that look like you and imagine it was him instead of some stupid incubus or succubus fucking you. That's actually where he ended up right now. He fisted his cocks together at the sight of your pornstar doppelgänger getting railed from behind by a large demon. Levi pretended it was you moaning out his name instead of this pornstar moaning for more from their costar. It was honestly becoming torture for poor Levi, not have your warm cunt hole wrapped around cock while the other slips into your ass. Levi got so caught up in the porn he was watching that the sound of his phone vibrating made him jump.

It was you sending him another meme. Levi could feel the warmth and love spreading through his chest. Even though you had just sent him a silly picture of a mouse in a toy car, Levi still felt so loved that you texted that picture to him only instead of the group chat.

That's when the lightbulb appeared over his head. What if he told you how much he wanted you over text. At least then you wouldn't have to see how hard you make him nor his tomato red face and you wouldn't have to hear how he stutters and stumbles over his words. Through text message, Levi could stay partially hidden.

L: MC i need u

U: why? what's wrong? i'll head over rn

L: NO!

L: i mean...

L: i need u so badly U: oh? U: oh.

Crap, did he just gross you out? I mean, who would want to sleep with a gross otaku like him anyway? All he does is just sit in his room and play video games. You'd do better having your pussy filled by some one like Beel or-

U: i want you too. Levi i want ur cock so bad

Levi almost tipped back in his chair and had to swing his arms to grab at his desk. He sputtered like an old timey car with a flush that could make a strawberry look pale. Levi couldn't believe that you wanted him just as badly. When he regained his balance in his chair, he softly wrapped his hand around his top cock and stroked around the head.

U: i wish i was there with you bouncing on your dick

Levi stopped for a second when he realized your wording. Dick? Cock? As in singular? Nervousness began to rise in the back of his throat. You were obviously down to fuck non-human entities but would you be down for non-human genitalia? Levi looked down at his own cocks. The cock on the top was about an inch longer than the one on the bottom. Both were a tad bit darker than the rest of his skin and faded into a lighter blue near the tip. The heads of his cocks were long and pointed with small bumps along the bottom side of his shafts. His cocks curled a little like a tentacle but weren't nearly has flexible as one. Leviathan thought about how his assets compared to a normal human's and the insecurity began to flair up.

L: uhhh,,,

L: MC?

U: what's wrong? did i cross a line?

Fuck you were so cute when you were worried about him. Levi shook his head trying to flush away the lovey-dovey thoughts he had about you in order to break the possibly bad news.

L: i uh dont have a human set up >.>

U: huh?

U: what do you mean?

Leviathan pressed his hand to his mouth trying to figure out how to tell you. Should he just send a picture? The thought of you having a picture of his cocks made him leak a little but his insecurity had a choke hold on him. He decided against sending you a picture and decided you just tell you straight up what he had going on.

L: i have two dicks

Silence. Five minutes had passed an nothing from you. The worst case scenario immediately came to mind: you were going to break up with him because of his weird penises. Levi was about pull his sweats up over his cocks and sob into his bathtub when his phone vibrated.

U: fuck

U: can i see them?

Levi gripped his phone with sweaty palms. You wanted to see them? You wanted to see him? Naked? You wanted to see the penises of a gross otaku like himself? But you were so beautiful and kind and smart and you could do so much better than him! A shiver ran through his spine at the perverted thought of such a degenerate like himself corrupting someone so beautiful as you. He grabbed his top cock and positioned it so the bottom one could be seen as well as he held his phone over his lap and took the picture. It was right when he pressed send that realization hit him. What if you wanted pictures of his penises to make fun of them? To make fun of him? For some reason that idea turned him on even more. Levi's teeth clacked to together at the thought of you calling him gross and perverted for sending you such images.

Levi: <image sent>

U: fuck

U: theyre huge!

U: crap i want them in me so bad rn

L: 0.0 u do?

U: do you think they could both fit in my pussy?

The directness of your text sent Levi into a frenzy. Fuck, he didn't know if they could both fit but he for sure was going to try! The thought of your poor little cunt being so spread and abused on his cocks made him grab his cocks and start rubbing them together, imagining his fist was your juicy walls welcoming him into your body.

L: we could try

L: i want u to ride me rn. i want to see ur pussy swallowing my cocks everytime you bounce up and down

U: fuck yes Levi!

U: i want to see ur face when you cum inside of me. u always look so cute when ur all flustered

Levi whimpered at your last text. He couldn't understand how you thought such a gross otaku like him was cute but how sweet you were being made his dicks throb in need.

U: imagine if i was cockwarming you while u were gaming o///o

L: fuck please MC

U: every time you get a kill i'd ride you a little. u can't cum until you win though~

L: i promise i will MC! i want to fill you with my cum >.<

U: i love you so much levi. are you in ur room rn?

Levi felt all of the air in his chest get trapped in his lungs. Fuck, you wanted to come see him? Is that why you were asking if he was home?

U: <image sent>

Levi's eyes went wide. He could have sworn they rolled right out of his skull when he saw the picture you just sent. You were reclined on your bed with only a shirt on. On closer inspection it was that shirt from your favorite anime Levi had gotten you for your birthday. Your phone was positioned so that the star of the photo were your index and middle fingers holding your pussy lips open showing Levi the beautiful spread of your sopping cunt. Your clit was at attention and was begging for his lips to be wrapped around it. Levi furiously rubbed his cocks together at the sight. You were so wet and all from him? You weren't dripping with need because of one of his stupid brothers? A feeling somewhere between possessiveness and neediness erupted in Levi. He knew he needed to be buried in your tight hole.

L: yes! please! im home!

U: <read 1 minute ago>

Then there was a knock at his door.

[joshusten]

love me in spite (guy/honey, redacted audios)

Guy and Honey get into an argument early into their relationship.

(angst, hurt/comfort, arguments, fluff)

3k+ words [ao3 link here!] [masterlist]

[CW and notes: swearing, arguing, insecurities, overthinking, breakdowns, descriptive?? crying?? I think??, idk they’re both having a bad time. probably a lot of grammatical errors lmao. also honey is implied to be empowered!!]

Honey doesn't remember the last time they felt like this, but they’ve always known their personality would bite them in the ass someday.

“Aww, is my beloved mad again? Oh, pray tell, which heinous crime did I commit this time, officer? Robbery? Public indecency?” Guy stroked his chin, pretending to rack up his mind on any possible offense he could have made. “Hm…jaywalking?"

“Guy.”

“Oh! Or maybe—just maybe—it was wanting my ever-so-affectionate lover to stop their pretty head from fussing over me?”

"Guy, can’t you take this seriously for once?” 

“But I am! It’s just not that big of a deal, baby! Look, a manuscript can’t just write itself, y’know? Especially one with a little flair from yours truly!”

“You haven’t slept properly for days now, you work overnight most of the time, and on your days off you pull all-nighters writing!” 

“Oh, you’re one to talk!”

“Well, this one’s more serious! I haven’t even seen you eat a proper meal and anything I offer you gets left out cold!”

They continued to have a back-and-forth confrontation, voices raising and words getting crueler as time goes on, with both parties not intending to back down anytime soon. Honey thought it was the first time they ever heard Guy let out an actual annoyed scoff and they noticed the slightest change in his demeanor. 

“Jesus, Honey. Of all the times you can finally act like you care for me, why now? Hm?” There was a playful smile on his face. It almost made them believe he was still joking around but his words were laced with an unmistakable annoyance.

But something inside Honey snapped. Their chest tightened at the thought of their partner thinking they didn’t care. They felt themselves flinch from the comment and Guy seemed to notice that too as his smile drops. “Shit. Honey, I didn’t–”

“I’m–,” They scrambled to get their bag, keys, wallet, anything they would need because they just want to be anywhere but here.“I’m going out. Let’s finish this later. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

They didn’t mean that. Didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh. Then again, they don’t mean to sound so harsh most of the time but end up doing so either way. Grumpy. Mean. Intimidating. A common descriptor from most people. But Guy wasn’t like most people. ‘Unless,’ they think, ‘That was just a lie you told yourself to believe in.’

Honey shuts the door behind them, leaving the building and the warmth of their partner.

The pain in their chest almost distracts them from the exhaustion currently catching up to their body after a long day. They can feel the telltale signs of a migraine coming as they rub their temples gingerly with one hand, the other guiding the steering wheel. ‘Damn, it started to rain too. What a great way to lighten the mood,’ they think bitterly. Their mind eventually goes back to the fight earlier.

“Of all the times you finally can act like you care for me, why now? Hm?”

They do care. They care for him so much it scares them . He knows that, right? Even if they groan at his flirtatious quips and innuendos or if they grumble at his (very creative) attempts to give them as many hugs and kisses as they would allow, he knows that that’s just how they are, right? 

Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe that never was enough to begin with. Maybe Guy finally realized he deserves better than an ill-tempered partner who doesn’t even know how to properly show any affection to their own fucking boyfriend.

A sharp car horn snaps them out of their thoughts. Shit, it’s a green light. They continue to drive until they see the familiar soft glow of a nearby 7-Eleven sign despite the persistent rain. 

Honey's entrance was signaled with the chime of the bell above the glass door. It’s relatively empty save for what they recognize to be a few D.A.M.N. students buying some late-night study snacks. Walking through the aisles while the pop song they heard their partner hum before softly plays in the background, slowly but surely calming them down. Muscle memory makes Honey reach for Guy’s favorite snack and they wonder how he’s doing. 

---

Guy doesn't remember the last time he felt like this, but he’s always known his personality would bite him in the ass someday.

Sure, he and Honey had their disagreements, but they were all accompanied by playful slaps and teasing laughter. Never had it gotten to the point of an actual argument that caused them to spit such venom toward each other like the one they just had. 

“I’m going out. I-I just can’t fucking do this right now.”

The door closes and Honey leaves, bringing the warmth of their shared apartment with them. Guy lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and starts to get to work. He wordlessly distracts himself by cleaning the living room—picking up stray plastic chip bags, vacuuming crumbs that settled on the cheap shag carpet, and fixing up the pillows on the couch that he’s been nesting on for the past few days while he works on the final draft of the project he was writing. 

Piles of paper littered their second-hand coffee table. Every inch is covered in Post-it notes and wrinkled pieces of paper filled with ideas that he had haphazardly scribbled in an attempt to record them before it leaves his mind. Most of them, he recalls, are just random doodles of spirals and honeybees that he absentmindedly drew as he was typing away on his laptop. The spaces left exposed on the table were adorned with faded mug rings on the old dark oak wood.

He tries to compile them into a neater collection, pausing as he notices a doodle he made of his Honey. It was far from a masterpiece, but the cute cartoony style paired with heavily exaggerated furrowed brows in order to replicate their partner’s usual expression pulls a smile from his lips. There was even a jumbled-up line inside a small text bubble next to it to symbolize the adorable grumbles they always make. 

Fuck, he misses them so fucking much.

A sudden wave of exhaustion almost makes him drop the stack of papers he’s holding and it dawns on him how much he really has been neglecting his own health for this project. The stress of trying to find a job where he can utilize his degree and finally get out of that godforsaken pizza place has been taking a toll on him. All Honey was trying to do was for him to take a break that he so desperately ( and, he embarrassingly admits, unknowingly ) needed. And he just treated it like some silly joke. Granted, it really was because he wasn’t used to being coddled after, but, it definitely wasn’t an excuse to dismiss their worries like that. 

The guilt builds up in Guy’s throat like bile. He feels worse now, especially considering how much they struggle with expressing themselves like that to him in general, even if they don’t say it aloud.

He finishes cleaning up but the restlessness doesn’t leave him as time passes by with no word from his partner. Maybe this is it? Maybe he fucked it all up like always? Maybe they finally came to their senses and got fed up with him. It wasn’t uncommon for people to think he was a bit too much. Too chaotic, too irritating, too overwhelming. He ever minded those comments in the first place, but the thought of Honey possibly thinking like that too makes him sick. 

It’s getting late and he can hear the rain outside get louder. The anxiety that has been settling in their stomach flares up. He reaches for his phone to message them before concluding they might not want to be bothered right now. Shit, he’s feeling a little sluggish. 

Guy begrudgingly trudges to the wardrobe of their shared bedroom to get a change of clothes. He glances over as he pulls a familiar-looking hoodie from the hanger. Their double bed, adorned with a pizza plushie that Honey had given to him as a joke gift, was more inviting than usual. Maybe he should just take a rest and go to sleep. 

No, no, no, they might want some space from that too. Guy wants to talk this out with them instead of sleeping it out. If this persists, he isn't sure how his poor heart could take it. He ultimately decides to go back to the couch, stay up, and (at the very least) greet them when they come back. 

If they come back. God, please come back.

What if they don’t?

The thought felt like a mere whisper in his head but it left him numb. Guy's aware of his tendency to overthink but before he knew it, he was lying down on his side, hand clamped to his mouth as he forced his eyes shut. He lets out a quiet sniff. His breath hitches. Then he hears himself choke out a small sob. 

Then another.

And another. 

And another.

The dam breaks, his eyes water and he heaves as much air as he can into his lungs. It suddenly became a struggle to breathe and it definitely became a struggle to calm the ugly thoughts that plague his mind. Shaky, broken sobs fill the room, he cringes at how pathetic it sounds.  He hates this. He hates this feeling. Just come back, I’m sorry.

After what felt like hours, his sniffles slowly died down. With heavy eyes and a heavier heart, he finds himself drowsy from all the crying. The hot tears streaming down his face had begun to dry, but, the warmth on his cheeks reminds him of his Honey and the thought of them finally lulls him to sleep.

---

Honey returns, a little haggard but with a calmer mind. The drive around Dahlia and their quick run to the local convenience store definitely helped lighten their mood but the guilt still followed them around like a shadow. Shaky hands find their way to the lock of their shared apartment and Honey opens to a dim living room, with the forgotten hanging bulbs from the kitchen barely providing a sense of light. They noticed the place was tidier than they remembered.

It was eerily quiet, as well. The wrinkling sound of the paper bag that they were holding filled the room.

"Guy?" Fuck, they can hear their voice getting wobbly. 

"I'm home. You there?" A shift from the room was all they heard accompanied by a sniffle. Honey suddenly becomes hyper-aware of the soft snores matching the rise and fall of a figure on the couch.

They couldn't really explain why their heart started to pound with their pulsating headache. Why they made a beeline inside their apartment. Why they started to get down on their knees in the living room despite the protests of their tired body. Why their chest sank deeper as they saw their partner all bundled up on their battered couch. 

They don't miss the frown on his face and his tear-stained cheeks.

Fuck. Tears? Guy was crying? 

Honey quietly (urgently) sets down the paper bag from their grasp and slowly places a hand on his shoulder, patting it ever so gently.

"H-hey? Guy, what are you doing over here?" They noticed how cold they felt to the touch and remembered their thermostat wasn't working that well. "It's freezing. You're freezing. "

After a few gentle pats and caresses (and reminders of how it's cold here, the bed is warm. Take it, please. ) Guy manages to blearily open his eyes, rubbing away the sleepiness and the few tears that managed to slip.

Cute. His eyes are so cute. Honey would have thought if their mind wasn't filled with thoughts and questions. Why was he sleeping on the couch? Was he waiting for me? He didn't need to do that. Why was he crying? Did he cry himself to sleep? Was it because of me?

Did I do this?

"Honey?" Guy's voice croaked and Honey's heart aches after hearing how hoarse it was. It aches a little more to see him smile at them despite the argument they had earlier.

"You're back…" he mumbles, slightly adjusting his body to prop himself up with his arm. He was wearing their hoodie again.

"Guy, why are you sleeping here? It's cold," they repeated, the worry in their tone becoming more and more evident. 

This had Guy fully sitting up, giving his full attention to their Honey with a slight grin that was preparing to give out a smug reply before dropping his smile and deciding otherwise. If he noticed that their eyes were starting to get just as glassy as his, he didn't mention it. “I-I mean, you’re…mad, right? I thought you’d want some more space from me or something…” 

“N-no! I mean, yeah, thank you for that but that doesn't—” Honey cuts themselves off with a groan. Why can’t I just say what I want to say? What do I even want to say? Guy immediately notices their partner’s frustration and sits down beside them.

“Hey, hey, it's okay. You’re okay, Honey,” he says with a reassuring smile and slowly raises his hand near their cheek, “Can I touch?” 

Honey immediately nods, almost melting at Guy’s warm hands. The familiar calluses from working countless graveyard shifts and delivery jobs all over Dahlia for Max’s kept them grounded. They notice a newly formed bump on the ring finger of his dominant hand from the number of handwritten notes he’s been doing recently.

After a few moments of soft breaths and the sound of Guy's rough thumb gently gliding across their cheek, Honey let out a weak laugh but the words that followed were by no means a joke to them. “You’re so good for me.” Too good. I don’t deserve you. 

It was Guy’s turn to let out a confused chuckle. He felt anything but good to them at the moment.

“What do you mean by that, hon?” He caresses their cheek and he forgets how much his chest hurts when his Honey leans into his touch. “Hey, c’mon. Do you…do you wanna talk about what happened?”

Honey nods once more. "I'm…I'm sorry," they choke out as if the words got caught up in their throat. Everything was overwhelming again. The sound of the remains of the rain, the ticks of the wall clock, and most of all, Guy's unwavering attention to them. They avoid his gaze. 

"I know that…I'm…I dont have the most…pleasant attitude," The nervousness in their tone was obvious but the quick squeeze of their hand from their partner was enough for them to go on. "And I know that you didn’t mean that. About me…not caring,” They felt him give another squeeze, a bit tighter than the last. “Fuck, god knows you’ve put up with me long enough for me to know you wouldn’t mean that.” 

Honey manages to finally look him in his eyes again, they think it's their favorite color. “I…I just don’t know why I act like this. Why can't I just…care for you in a normal way.”

“Oh, Honey…” 

“I’m just so fucking sorry. I really, really care for you, please know that,” they sob out. Guy thinks he’s never seen them this vulnerable. His arms slowly circle and stop around their body as if he was waiting for their permission but Honey beats them to the embrace, burying their head on his chest. He knows they can hear his heart speed up.

“Hey, I know, I know,” The hands that were once on his partner's cheeks find their way to their back, rubbing circles and tracing shapes. “I’m really sorry for what I said too. The stress from work and writing these past few days is catching up but please don’t let that ever be an excuse for me to talk like that, especially to you and especially if it makes you think of all these lies.”

“And all this talk about…caring for me in the ‘normal’ way. Don’t say that.” Guy slowly pulls away to tilt his partner's chin up for their eyes to meet again. The way his Honey looked so distressed was a sight he decided he never wants to see again. “What matters is that I know you care and I want you to know that the way you show it is… fuck, I’ve never felt so cared for like this until you, Honey. Okay?”

“I’ll work…on not neglecting my health too. If it weren’t for you, I might’ve actually collapsed from exhaustion,” he adds, lips upturned into a sheepish smile. “So, thank you.”

Guy isn’t prepared for the way their Honey finally graced him with a soft smile. He’s had them laugh and grin at his…eccentric behavior before, but this smile held so much fondness and sincerity (directed towards him of all people! ) that made this moment all the more intimate. 

I think I'm gonna have a fucking heart attack. He doesn't recall having butterflies for lunch but he definitely feels them flutter up and about in his ribcage. He wants to treasure this moment. He wants to treasure them.

Honey looks down, uncharacteristically flustered and Guy’s heart soars again. “Thank you,” they whispered. “For that.”

“Of course, Honey. Though, I must say,” he grins. “Although your methods of conveying your love for me are a bit… unconventional , you could say I’m on the more bizarre side, too. I guess we make a perfect match after all then, don't we?”

Honey snorts, a reaction that's endearingly familiar to him and he smirks even wider. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Well, for the record, if anybody here is fucking stupid, it would be you!” Guy shoots back, “Hi, hello, I’m stupid, by the way, ehh– Ow, ow, ow!”

The pair continues to laugh and banter at each other like before, but, as they comfortably settle down to cuddle on the couch, they both don’t miss the way the grip on their entangled hands tightened for the slightest bit.

---

hope you enjoyed!! please let me know if i had any mistakes or just some feedback in general!! i kinda wanna continue doing these kinda stuff :DD

[novelconcepts]

There are a lot of Worst Things about depression. Everybody's got a different Worst Thing. Hell, I can't always decide on what my personal Worst Thing is. Sometimes it's the numb despair. Sometimes, it's the dumb animal panic. Most of the time, though, it's that there isn't enough room inside of me.

What I mean is: I care about too many things. I think that's pretty standard these days for a lot of people. Empathy stretched fine as gossamer. We see so much suffering each day. We see so much more than any one person was meant to. So you wind up caring, because caring is what a person is wired to do, what makes life worth living. You care about people you know. You care about people you've never met. You care about situations in countries you haven't set foot in. You care about the political climate of your own hometown. You care about your own dreams. You care about your best friend's bad luck. You care about your pets' health. You care about when the next book in your favorite series will come out. You care, and you care, and you care, because you're wired to care about it all. It's exhausting sometimes, but it's life. Sometimes the best part of life.

With depression, the caring space gets to feeling too full. Has packed tight, all those elements butting into one another until they lose meaning, the darkness threading into the gaps. There just isn't enough room inside of me for all the fear and the despair and the weird empty anger, much less the stuff that actually matters. So I start shorting out. Because, see, depression makes it so I can't care; don't see a point in even trying. And the real me, the part of me that isn't being cannibalized by the demons, doesn't know how to do anything else. So the middle ground becomes: shrink the caring space. Shrink it down bit by bit. All systems are running at once, and we're getting low on juice, so the natural thing is to start shutting off lights. Start jettisoning the extraneous to make room.

Except it's depression at the wheel, not common sense, so it's not just the extra flair getting turned off. Not the despair and the mind-numbing terror and the reckless urge to pick fights. The stuff that winds up getting tossed is stuff I need. Stuff that keeps me going. It's all being shut down at once, no rhyme or reason, until I suddenly can't care about the things that are me. Intrinsic, fabric-level stuff. I can't care about creating. About making art. About telling stories. I can't care about other people telling stories. I can't care about my friends the way I'm supposed to. I can't care about their travel or their kids or their wins. I can't care about making food for myself. I can't care about brushing my teeth. I'm shutting down to component parts, but I didn't get to pick which components are still running full-power, so I wind up with just a handful of randomly blinking lights. Suddenly, I care very much about my fear of the future, my financial insecurity, how fast I can run a 5K, a single television show--and just about nothing else.

It isn't healthy. It's sure as fuck not sustainable. And I know from experience that the rest of the system will come back online eventually. I'll find myself telling another story in a week or a month. I'll find myself sketching something out of nowhere. I'll find myself able to grieve a lost loved one and treasure my new nephew. It'll all come back, in time. But it's the in-between bit that grates. The bit where I'm in the shuttle with my knees tucked against my chest, sucking oxygen through a straw, trying to conserve whatever is still running. The bit where I resent the people in my life who aren't running on fumes like I am. Where I'm furious that they can care, that they can move freely, that they aren't pacing a minuscule cage like I am. It's a loss, all the months and years I've spent on life support. It's a fucking waste.

That's where I am right now. Life support. Little things get in, from time to time. I can suddenly inhale a book series start to finish. I can suddenly coax myself into eating the same thing for lunch for three weeks straight. Those are extra lights on the dash, and I have to treasure them. Because there isn't really room, so any little thing that I find space for is a gift. And everything else--talking. planning. trusting. creating. intake.--has to stay dark for a little while longer.

It'll come back on. I have to believe it'll come back on.

In the meantime, I hunker in my shuttle, and I wait.

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Dawntrail endpoint review

Or: Wow they really spent half an expansion setting up for this and I love it. You know the deal, spoilers and all. Random internet opinion machine go! ->

I feel like before I get into Heritage Found and Living Memory I gotta talk about Shaaloani. I'm really sorry but I feel like this area, above all others, is really reflective of how Dawntrail needed a hard editing pass. Just one.

To say it's bad would be a misnomer, but the area story as a whole is a little bit of a... a non-sequitur? We just got out of the Rite of Succession's big high point and now we're gonna visit Erenville's home but very little of what happens here relates to the story that comes before or after. A tweak or two and it'd flow a lot better, maybe a story more focused on how Koana's march of progress here affects people. This is a place balanced too far on the side of Reason, and perhaps Lamaty'i can send us here to add a little of the Resolve's flair and unite people. Or maybe I'd use it to focus more on reflection, and here we have something that really caught back my attention.

The trolley crew of the First are reflected here in the train crew and this? Was brilliant. It primed me to look for similar reflections in Alexandria's lands and was very rewarding and more than that I think it's a subtle show of the difference between souls and memories. The train crew are still the same intrepid enthusiasts at a core, true level. At least in terms of FFXIV's world, soul and memory are two different components of a person and the essential difference is demonstrated well with this tiny scene. I'd LOVE to have seen it more repeated across Shaaloani as the intersection between memories, souls, and even our environment.

Then Zoraal Ja happens, the bastard. He is the worst parts of the other three competitors for the throne combined. He always was, we just never see it because he's so obviously strong. There's no way he's insecure, right? But look again at his goal, he wants to unite the world, the only way he could possibly outperform his father and carve his name. He frames it as such a noble goal but the truth of it is what we see in the invasion. He is an insecure coward. He can't die for his cause like he demands others do. He's a piss-poor commander who only cares for terror. He borrows power from others and calls it his own. Lamaty'i thanks us, Koana accepts help, Bakool Ja Ja is at least indignant when his cohort joins the fight. Zoraal Ja is a sad man with a sad death. He'll devour those in his care if it means he can achieve his goal.

He never will. The blasted second head of his monstrous form says it all.

Sphene stands as the true counterpart to Lamaty'i. Wuk Lamat's arc wasn't finished when she took the throne, her plea to stay in Tural with her was proof of that. Like Sphene needing Zoraal Ja. And then, also like Sphene, she grows beyond this need and becomes more assured of her path, albeit it in a gentler and more loving way. If I were to put it in words, Sphene learned brutality from her dependence on Zoraal Ja, while Lamaty'i learns to be true to herself from the WoL's belief in her, thus bringing about the final acts for each, a diametric opposition both sides regret.

In the Dark Knight quests, the WoL (through their counterpart Myste) brings back the memories of others. Giving life to the thoughts of the departed. And it was just as unsustainable then as it is for Living Memory. We see how Myste has to constantly siphon living aether to perform this act and even then it's a vanishing and hollow thing. Most people who encounter our memories know they aren't really there. Living Memory is this act on a worldly scale. Living Memory devours life to produce itself. Living Memory is an eternal golden era perpetuated by feeding on the potential future and other cultures. It is, dare I say, colonialism made manifest. A foreign power who arrives without warning and takes and shapes a land and while it brings a higher standard of living, supposedly, the highest and most revered tier is beyond the reach or knowledge of most.

But. Living Memory is also a place to say goodbye. It's a heaven where you can rest easy knowing some piece of you will carry on and meet your lover again. Hang out with a long-lost friend. Make up with someone who became your enemy due to a mistake. It is an area filled with love and catharsis and beauty with a terrible price for its continued existence. But even if we found some way to infinitely fuel it, I don't think it would be any better of a place, because while your memories live on there, there is no one back in life who remembers you. No one to speak your name or trade a tale with. The people there are more dead than Gulool Ja Ja, a man who is remembered fondly, whose legacy binds disparate people together and whose wisdom guides a new generation. His hand still holds Lamaty'i's, even in death, while the Endless lose their place outside of this nostalgic world of twilight.

Just... fuck, dude. What an incredibly poignant story to tell, one that necessitated the story that came before. What a fitting one for the first expansion to come out after the TEN YEAR arc that led up to Endwalker. It's a story that asks itself how it can hope to stand up to the weight of a legendary legacy and takes its tumbles with aplomb to set the groundwork for a new tale to come. For a new generation and a new leg of the journey.

[readyforthegarden]

So some context for my latest soft Jake thought; I've been having some bad breakouts lately and I'm generally insecure about being around people without makeup on/taking my makeup off around people. And I just like to imagine dating Jake and when he sees you with makeup off, like coming to bed at night, he gets a soft smile on his face and say "there's my girl" 🥲

Nooo!!! I feel that Anna! I hate acne flair ups, I get to the point I never want to leave the house when I have one.

Jake would make it a point to let you know just how beautiful you are with or without makeup. I like to imagine it starts off as small compliments, like first thing in the morning, when you wake and still have lines from your pillow case on your cheek, he’s smiling softly and whispering a low and crackly “you’re so beautiful in the morning”

After a while of that, he’s in the bathroom with you in the morning, washing his face or trimming his facial hair in the mirror as you do your skin care, and complimenting the dewy glow your moisturizer gives your cheeks, and you could stop there and you’re already the most beautiful person in the world. Then it gets to be, he wants to support what makes you feel comfortable. You mention wanting to try a new concealer on the market and suddenly he comes home with five of them. He wasn’t sure what shade you’d be, but he got the ones he thought would match and whatever doesn’t he can return. He’s walking around Sephora with you and running his finger in the highlighters, swatching them on your wrist as he walks by and telling you to get them, to add to your natural radiance.

Then he’s in the bathroom with you when you take off your makeup. At first you didn’t like it, and made it known, but one night after a few too many drinks, he wanted to make sure you were taken care of, and took it off for you, gently rubbing your face with the cleanser and soft microfiber towel. He’d murmur how gorgeous you are, how he loves the slope of your nose, the round apples of your cheeks, the shape of your eyes. Once your makeup was removed and he did another cleanse, applied your moisturizers and whatnot, he’s smile at your sleepy face, acne scars and pimples and say “there’s my girl. My beautiful girl.” And from then on, you almost looked forward to taking off your makeup at night, coming back into the bedroom or bumping into him in the hallway and him greeting you that way, it feels almost like a anchor of comfort.

[clariongradiation]

wolqotd masterpost (it's long)

if i remember i'll add to it, but w/e, sourced from twitter but in the future who knows

if your WoL is stuck at airport security/luggage check why are they being stopped? (ritostime)

what are nicknames that are permissible for your WoL? how did they get them, and why do they like them? are there any that are not okay? what's their reaction to them? (saintmerva)

does your wol manspread or cross their legs? (ANYXTRINE_)

what is a unique trait / identity you've added to your wol's class/job? any special skills, weapons combined with other classes, or just a visual flair? talk to me about cool job lore 👀👀 (protractions)

what kind of drunk is your wol? if they don't drink, how do they take care of their friends who do? (protractions)

What's something that your WOL/OC does to prepare for an adventure? A simple, but fun #wolqotd (WildeFFXIV)

how is your wol/oc breaking this bad boy [a chocolate orange] open. are they using their job skills to smash the chocolate or are they just lobbing it against a wall or something idk (we're saying it exists in eorzea. it's canon) (astromancing)

Tell me about your ship's fav winter activity that they do together? Skating? Snowball fights? Staying in cozy by the fire? I WANNA HEAR IT ALL!!!! (Weather_Maiden)

Where my fellow ace/aro/demi WoL/OC havers at? 🥺 Tell me about them please (Miacoda)

is your wol/oc the eldest, a middle child, or the youngest? maybe an only child? do you think that that matches the overall "vibe" they give off? bonus round: talk about their siblings! (protractions)

what was the point of no return for your WoL/OC? at what moment did they realize that the road they were on was for life? or, what happened for them to realize who they truly were/what their role on the star was? (OnomeIdrissaXIV)

what is your wol/oc’s toxic trait? (OnomeIdrissaXIV)

what is your Wol(oc)'s strength in a battle? (RikaXIV)

If you had to pick a color to represent your WOL / Azem’s soul what color would it be? (fuwaffxiv)

I'm sure this one has been asked a million times but I WANNA KNOW did your wol have any side effects or change in their appearance after consuming too much light in shadowbringers? (starrywisteriaa)

Do you have an AU where your wol(oc) is an Ascian? (RikaXIV)

how did your wol/oc come to have their iconic weapon of choice? was it a gift? an inheritance? did they make it themselves? tell me the story behind your wol/oc's weapon(s)!!! (unmeihana)

does your wol/oc give good hugs (FunWithNix)

who would your oc fight behind the eorzean dennys at 3am (ORBONNER)

Tell me the most insidious thing about your OC's personality. Their darkest desire, their deepest insecurity, what might drive them to commit atrocities. (lisetteoshea)

what would be your WoL/OC's signature/partner pokemon? any reason? (Kaien__XIV)

in your WoLship, who is the heat source and who is the heat sink (haurchecafe)

we all started at level 1, but how much combat skill did your WoL really have before ARR? (MoonfallenFFXIV)

does your WoL/OC have a canon class/job? (various)

are there any NPCs that your WoL considers a best platonic friend? (various)

is there a specific song that you associate with your WoL/OC? (OnomeIdrissaXIV)

what does your wol's family think of their significant other(s)? (thecoraldragoon)

where does your WoL call home? (Lunacchiii)

does your wol have anything they are passionate about/any hobbies? (starrywisteriaa)

where was your wol during the battle of cartenau, and what were they doing? (macha_xiv)

who is their main in mario kart and why? (zeldatank)

if your wol/oc was one of the Twelve, what would their title be (ex: Nymeia 'the Spinner') and what would they be the deity of? (omphaloskeeper)

does your wol/oc have any bad habits? (RadiantViera)

what is your wol's debilitating weakness? (texas_thighmeat)

what would your wol be doing if the world was at peace (no primals or calamities)? (AkaneYukiDemon)

how does your wol/oc sleep? do they take up the whole bed, or curl up in a tiny corner? sleep on their side? need to hug something? (BehaxXiv)

what tarot card(s) do you associate with your wol/oc and why? (starrywisteriaa)

how does your wol feel about ardbert? (NerysEluned)

what does your wol/oc eat when they're sick? do they only eat it when ill, or is it just something they specifically crave? (bishy_snaps)

which social media would your wol/oc use, and how would they use it? (fer_xiv)

what is your wol/oc's biggest hot take? like a controversial opinion, a hill they'd die on (corundum_heart)

does your wol/oc have a signature minion? what about a signature mount?

what's your wol's classpect. quickly (screamsintts)

[ohbungeegum]

Oneshot- Derek Hale

Derek Hale x reader fluff

This is extremely fluffy, I nearly puked sorry :)

(A little bit oc like but who cares :)

You and Derek have a nice Day together.

The bright morning light shone through the huge windows in the loft, waking you up softly.

You felt light breathing on your head making you you flutter your eyes oben to see you were cuddled into Dereks naked chest as he had his arms wrapped around you securely. You were clothed in Dereks T-Shirt and a pair of underwear which Derek was wearing too, speaking of lower part of the body, your legs were completely entangled in his, your leg between his and his leg draped around yours.

You enjoyed his soft breathing on your hair making little strands blow away.

You felt your nose was icy cold due to it being winter so you nuzzled more into his chest and warmed you up more, which must have woken him up a bit.

You felt him kiss the top of your head.

,,Good Morning.“

he said with a sexy morning voice.

,,Morning.“ you tried to say but it came out as a ‚mmnng‘ as your lips were muffled with his chest.

,,You’re cold“

,,mhm“

He wrapped his arms around you tightly and rolled you so you were on top of him with him lying on his back, he spread his legs so you’d be comfortable between them, which you totally were.

He pulled the blanket more up so it covered your shoulders, nearly reaching your nose as it only covered half of his chest.

You layed there for at least half an hour with him playing with your hair until your tummy decided to be hungry and ruining the beautiful position, he chuckled:

,,hungry?“

,,no“ You said not wanting to move.

He huffed in amusement, gave you a kiss on the head and sat up with you on his lap, your head on his neck. He then wrapped your legs around his waist and stood up, his hands hold your butt so you don’t Fall, which he loved. You wrapped your arms around his neck and hung your head under his chin, still tired af.

He tried getting you to sit on the stool in the kitchen but you just held on tighter, so he gave up, making you both a sandwich while your still clinging on him like a monkey.

As soon as he was done you jumped off and swooped the plate away, he smiled and joined you on the couch watching Rick&Morty on your new flatscreen TV. The last two months were spent with you decorating the Loft to look more comfortable, Derek loved it and helped you out, even the pack went out of their way to help.

Anyway, you were sat there with a sandwich, Derek knew you were still cold so he took the fluffy blanket and wrapped you both in it.

Once you both were done Derek got some strawberries and ate them with you, then he layed down with his head on your lap, head faced upwards so he could see you grinning down at him ,,what?” He asked smiling at your dopey grin, ,,oh, just that bit of strawberry on your mouth.” You said. He tried licking it away but you couldn’t stop laughing ,,now you really look like a dog.”

He rolled his eyes and went to wipe it off with his hand but you stopped him, gripped his hand, bent down and licked away the bit of strawberry on the upper lip, you went to go back up but Derek cought you in a soft and gentle kiss, resting his now released hands on either side of your face as he caressed your cheek up to to the back of your ear.

Derek broke the kiss for air, you kissed the tip of his nose like he did with you earlier and leans back on your lap.

Derek was never really cuddly with other people around, he kinda has this badass reputation going on but never when he’s with you, he would always make sure your okay, and never leave without a kiss and a ‚i love you‘, which you absolutely adored.

There was comfortable silence of you two watching TV, enjoying each other’s company.

Derek broke the silence: ,,What do you wanna do today?“.

You turned the volume of the TV down so you could hear him better.

,,Hm, let me think about it.“

You thought while caressing Dereks hair, it was very soft, but a still a certain roughness in it.

,,What about a date?” Derek asked as he turned to look at you.

,,Ouh we haven’t had one of those in a while!“ you said excitedly.

He smiled, got up and said:,, 8 o’clock here, wear something warm and comfortable, I’ll organize the rest.” Then he walked off to who knows where.

You were happy to be spending more time with him.

You stood up and started preparing for things not knowing what to bring.

[ 9 hours later]

(In that time you went shopping with Lydia and got some dinner with her, she’s kinda your bestie to go)

You sat on the couch, grey wool jumper, black jeans and a black coat, waiting for your Prince Charming.

Finally a knock was heard from the loft door. You opened it to see Derek in also a gray hoodie and black jeans.

He smiled as he saw you ,,You manage to look perfect In anything” he said as he intertwined his hand In yours, starting to lead you down the loft. You blushed, kissed his cheek ,,well good thing we’re matching, I guess we both were going for perfect.” You said smoothly, he chuckled and led you to his beautiful camaro.

As Derek drove through the streets he intertwined his right hand with your left hand, keeping them on the gear and one hand on the wheel. The radio played a familiar tune as you slightly bounced your leg to the song.

The car ride was silent, not bad silence but peaceful silence.

You were now in a parking lot in the woods. The moonlight shone perfectly around the trees and leaves.

Derek got out of the car and went to open your door before you could. He smirked while you rolled your eyes and laughed ,,always the gentleman.“

,,always“ he replied with a smile while taking your hand once again in his, leading you to the trunk of the car.

,,Is this the scene where the loving maniacal boyfriend kills the girlfriend in cold blood and drags her body in a hole he digged? That would explain why you were preparing for so long.” You gasped loudly for dramatic flaire.

,,The boyfriend might, if he’s tempted enough by his equally loving maniacal girlfriend.“ he sassed back, quirking an eyebrow, tilting his head and looking deep into your eyes. It was a look he often did, kind of his trademark look.

You both chuckled as he resumed taking the stuff out of the trunk.

You couldn’t really guess what you both were going to do because he his the stuff in two black duffel bags, you took one duffel bag and he took the other, he didn’t bother to argue because he knew you would rather stubbornly take the bag than give both to him since he’s more than capable of taking them.

After a little walk in the woods he led you to a clearing right by a lake.

It was beautiful, there was plenty of room to sit on, the Moon reflecting elegantly against the water.

While you were gushing about the prettiness of this place you didn’t seem to notice your boyfriend building up a little tent, there even was a picnic blanket on the floor, a basket and some lights around it.

When Derek was finished building up the tent you walked up to him and threw yourself on him in a big hug throwing him in the blanket with you, he laughed and kissed your cheek.

,,This is the best Derek! Like WOW! I love you so much.” You said while peppering kisses all over his face.

,,Aw I love you so much too, you big softie.” He said with a big smirk.

,,oh shut up I was trying to be nice so fuck off, you did great.” You said getting off and sitting next to him. He laughed ,,There she is.“ .

He brought out the basket and got some bread sticks out, some wine and some fruit. We started talking and eating throughout the night.

He suddenly stood up and held his hand out. You reluctantly took it as you didn’t know what his devious mind was up to.

,,Take your clothes off”

You raised your eyebrows, not understanding what he was up to. He got out a pair of swimming trunks for him and put them on. Normally you’d be uncomfortable undressing in front of a boyfriend because you were insecure, honestly though, who isn’t? Derek knew that and always reassured you that you were the most beautiful woman on earth, that’s why Derek isn’t just any boyfriend, you felt very comfortable in your own skin around him.

,,So you knew we would go swimming but decided against packing my swimsuit?” You asked, eyebrows still raised.

,,Well I thought it would be nicer in underwear?” He said smirking.

,,For whom?”

He chuckled and walked over to you, kissing you.

He pulled your sweater up while you kissed and undid your jeans. You pulled back, stepping out of your jeans.

He led you to the water, picked you up and threw you into the icy cold water.

You gasped as you resurfaced, seeing Derek laughing as you were flailing your arms around. You tried pulling him in but it didn’t work, you splashed him a couple of times. This continued a few times, you trying to get out but that resulted in you being tossed into the water again, again and again. Soon You began to shiver, so he went in the water and held you close. You rested your head on his neck as he did the same, playing with you hair.

You sat there for a bit before you started to shiver again. He held you tight and walked out of the water with you still on him. He layed out two towels as sat you both on them. He even brought a heater!? There was a power supply in the ground, bc this place was made for camping, it was shut down but the power weirdly still works, I suspect Derek bought the property. He said he used to come here for peace and quiet, when he needed to get away. We layed on the towels and wrapped in lots of blankets, stargazing, talking, joking and remeniscing o about the past.

,,You know I love you?“ he said suddenly getting serious and staring into my eyes as he held both my hands.

,,Of course! I love you too.” You smiled and stared back into his eyes.

,,No, you don’t know how much I love you.

Every day I wake up in the morning and see your beautiful face. Every time I see you I just want to hold you and never let go. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you so I try to be with you every day. I want to protect you forever, I never want to imagine letting go of you, never!

So I’m asking you this [Y/N] [L/N], will you marry me?”

He asked as he pulled out a little box, a beautiful ring with a diamond and the Hale Triskelion on It. To say it was gorgeous was an understatement.

You had tears in your eyes. Frantically nodding and breathing out multiple ,Yes’s before you kissed him passionately.

He was had the biggest smile while you kissed, his hands on you waist as you were now between his legs.

The night went on about you both talking about the future, making plans and what not. Derek wanted kids, a lot he said, you didn’t expect that since you never really saw him as a kids person but you can definitely see why, his own little pack.

You wanted to get married with all your closest friends, even Peter should be there.

You wanted to spend the rest of your life with this man. YOUR man.

When you both realized the excitement and the thought of being husband and wife settled in you could feel the temperature of you shared blanket space increase.

You decided to go to the tent since thing were getting a little steamy.

Oh what a wonderful night.

A/N: If you want me to make a continuation of it just tell me :)

2,113 words

[danydragons21]

The Shadows That Sing: Ch. 10

Chapter 10 is up! Read it on ao3 here. 

Of course Elriel has to have a bargain! ;)

CHAPTER 10: FAMILIARITIES

“You saw?” Elain breathed, eyes wide.

Azriel cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrows. “Of course I saw.”

Of course he did . Normally, she would have rolled her eyes at his casual arrogance, but she was too panicked.

“Have you told anyone?” She demanded.

The slight grin slid off his face. “No. I wanted to talk to you about it first.”

She paused, letting her heart slow slightly. At least no one else knew.

“So, what happened?” He asked.

“I’m not sure,” Elain said. The amount of times she’d spoken those words today...wasn’t she, an actual fucking seer, supposed to know things? That was her power, for Cauldron’s sake! “I was mad, seriously mad at what everyone was saying to me about the bond, and then all of a sudden I looked down, and my hands were glowing. It’s never happened before. Once I calmed down, they returned to normal.” Breathing in deeply, she shook her head. “What do you think it means?”

An owl hooted somewhere in the distance; by the time its cry was nothing more than a distant echo in the wind, Azriel had still not answered. Her anticipation increased. He knew, he must, and he was just trying to figure out how to tell her, and--

“I’m not sure, either.” The shadowsinger said.

She frowned. “Has anyone ever told you that you have a flair for dramatics? It took you that long to tell me you just don’t know?”

Chuckling, Azriel leaned toward her on the bench. Alluring scents, spicy cedar and mist, emanated from him. “Perhaps I am a little dramatic. But I thought females liked the sensitive, emotional type?”

Scoffing slightly, and thanking the gods it was dark enough to hide her reddened cheeks, she replied, “Well, you know better what females like than I do.”

“That’s true. I have had 500 years of learning what females like. I would say I’m rather...experienced.” He waved his hands, like the fact was of no importance, but the sultry tone of his voice implied otherwise.  

Gods, his hands were enormous. And the scars...Elain knew how insecure he was about his damaged hands, but she had always thought they were incredibly beautiful. Sexy, even. The marks of a true warrior. A survivor. She remembered how rough and calloused they’d felt that night so many moons ago, when he’d ran those marvelously ruined fingers down each knob of her spine--

A rush of arousal shot through her, and she quickly cast around for a new subject. “You know, I think I’d rather talk about your hands- my hands, my hands.” She stammered, trying to quickly rectify her mistake.

But the damage had been done. Azriel’s eyebrows shot up, a purely male smirk growing on his stupid, perfect face.

“Oh, Gods,” She moaned, burying her head in her hands. “Will I ever stop embarrassing myself in front of you?”

Azriel laughed truly then, not the restrained chuckle he usually gave. His shadows flew away from him for a brief moment, and he was as light as she’d ever seen him.

“I’ve always thought it was me that embarrassed myself in front of you, to be honest,” He confessed, a small smile still gracing his face. Honesty rang in every syllable.

Elain swallowed. They were getting into dangerous territory. Besides, even Azriel’s infuriatingly effective flirting was not enough to distract her from the matter at hand.

“Are you going to tell anyone?”

The mood shifted immediately.

Azriel stared at her, as unreadable and impenetrable as always. But she held his gaze.

“I’ll make you a deal.” He said finally. “If you promise to be entirely honest with me about your powers, if you promise to tell me everything that happens, good and bad, and let me help you figure out what’s going on...then I will keep your secret. And we find out what this all means...together.”

Swallowing heavily, Elain asked,“Are you sure you can do that? What about Rhys and Feyre? You’re okay with keeping this from them?”

“I’m the spymaster. I’d like to think I’m pretty good at keeping secrets.” He rolled back his massive shoulders. “And Rhys and Feyre are my High Lord and Lady, but you’re my friend, and they don’t get to dictate every decision I make.”

The hardness in his voice confused her, but she chose to ignore it. “A deal,” She repeated instead. “Like...a bargain?”

Azriel blinked. “Yes,” He replied after a beat. “If that is what you want.”

A bargain. In all her time as a Fae, Elain had never made a bargain, but she knew how serious they were. Knew how dangerous they could be.

It wasn’t like she didn’t trust Azriel. Their twisted and tangled history aside, she knew in her heart of hearts that he would keep her confidence to the best of his ability. But she’d be lying if she said it wouldn’t make her feel better to secure that promise with a binding, magical bargain.

And he was giving her the choice, putting the power in her hands, however small and weak they might be. And that made all the difference.

“Yes,” She said, her voice sure and ringing. “Yes. A bargain. I will be completely honest with you about my powers, and I will let you help me as much as you can, as long as you keep my glowing hands a secret.”

He nodded slowly. “You’ll have to be more specific on a timeframe than that,” Azriel said. “Unless you want our bargain tattoo marking you forever.”

“Oh, okay,” She said, her stomach flipping strangely at the word ‘ forever .’ “For as long as you are my teacher, then I’ll be honest about my powers, and you’ll keep my secret. Until I’m ready to tell the others.”

He inclined his head. “I can agree to that.”

Azriel stood up, Elain imitating him a moment after. His tall and imposing figure towered over her own, looking so unfathomably powerful she couldn’t help but feel that she was about to make a deal with the devil.

It should concern her that her stomach tightened excitedly at the thought.

The male in front of her sucked in a breath as she held out her hand.

“Are you afraid?” She teased, trying to pretend the rising tension between them didn’t exist, trying not to let her hand shake.

His lips curled up. “Of entering a bargain with Elain Archeron, the seer and Kingslayer? Terrified.”

A smile bloomed on her face, as lovely as the flowers she grew.

He grasped her hand then, and a bolt of lightning shot through her, the magic so strong she cried out in shock. Even Azriel grunted; both of their combined powers had made the bargain that much stronger. A moment later, the surge of magic was gone. All that remained was a tingling across her skin and a metallic taste in her mouth.

She examined her hands and forearms; that’s where Feyre’s bargain tattoos were, though she knew they could appear anywhere on the body. There was no sign of the signature swirls and whorls there.

Beside her, Azriel was scanning his own body to no avail. But when he glanced up at Elain, his eyes went to her neck, still exposed from her done-up hair. His eyes widened.

“What?” Elain asked.

“Your neck,” He answered, sounding strangely choked.

Instinctively, she ran a hand over the back of her neck. It indeed felt hotter than the rest of her body, but she still couldn’t see the tattoo.

“Turn around,” she commanded, and Azriel did as she asked, though warily. He was so much taller than her she had to step closer to see it correctly, so close a shiver went down her spine. If she wasn’t so distracted, she would have noticed Azriel’s shudder, too. When she was close enough, she could make out the details of the tattoo on his neck, the identical twin to the one now etched across her own.

It was rather small, certainly small enough to be hidden should she keep her hair down and not wear any dress too revealing; Azriel, with his short hair, would have no such luck. Black swirls swept across his neck, the detailed etchings slightly desultory but striking all the same. What truly made the tattoo extraordinary, though, was the ebony rose at its center, its embellished petals blossoming outward into the whorls that made up the rest of the design.

Elain’s breath caught in her throat. Roses and necks and the heady scent of him ...it all hit a little too close to home.

She took a quick step backward and clasped her hands in front of her, feeling suddenly and unreasonably nervous. A chain had just been forged between the two of them, unbreakable until they decided otherwise. It was disconcerting...and liberating.

Slowly, Azriel faced her, squaring his shoulders slightly. His throat bobbed, but she pretended not to notice. She pretended so much lately, she was starting to forget how to be real.

Exhaustion flooded her veins at the thought.

“Could we possibly skip the training session for tonight?” She asked. “I’m just...I’m so tired,” She confessed. It had been such a long day, truly. She couldn’t believe that just this morning she had been at the River House, telling her family goodbye, and now she was here, in Queen Vassa’s conservatory.

“Of course,” Azriel answered immediately. “If you ever feel like this is too much...tell me.”

Elain had to smile at that. “Well, I think the bargain we just made ensures that I’ll tell you everything about how I’m feeling,” she teased, then froze as she realized the weight of her words. As she saw his face tighten as the realization hit him, too. But he simply inclined his head in thanks. She appreciated his attempt at a smile, even if she knew it was just to help make the awkward moment pass.

“Can I walk you to your room? I’d like to check that everything is safe, and possibly put some shields up.” He tapped his siphons for reference.

“Of course,” She said.

When they exited the conservatory, they were met by an attendant, a small and mousy girl who couldn’t be older than 15 and introduced herself as Magie. The young girl led them to Elain’s quarters, bowed slightly when they came to the door, and left abruptly.

Azriel entered first, siphons flaring as he checked the room for any lapses in safety and added his own security measures. When he finally deemed it secure enough, he waved Elain in.

The room was a dream. Heavy curtains hung from the arching windows, the mauve shade a perfect compliment to the lighter-colored floors. The high walls were gilded in gold and embellished with fleur-de-lis and other swooping, swirling patterns; the ceiling, in a stark and delightful contrast, beheld a remarkable mural depicting a sea nymph falling in love with a sailor.

And the bed....it, too, was surrounded in the same velvet curtains as the windows, and looked so soft and plush she thought she might just sink into it. She rather liked the idea.

“I should be going,” Azriel said, breaking her from her reverie. “My shadows are getting uncomfortable. They’re not used to being deaf for such a prolonged period of time.” Indeed, his shadows were bouncing around him agitatedly.

“Yes, yes, you should,” she said, but her stomach twisted. She would be here, all alone with three practical strangers. Without Azriel.

“You’ll be fine,” Azriel said, as if he could read her mind. “And if you’re not…” He placed a hand on the back of his neck, indicating the bargain. “Just let me know.”

Elain nodded. “Thank you,” she said, after a beat. “For staying today. And for agreeing to not tell anyone. It means...well, I appreciate it.”

Azriel looked at her for a long moment, some emotion flickering in his eyes that she couldn't place, and then cleared his throat before speaking.

“Don’t forget why you’re here, Elain. We need to find out what Lucien and the others are hiding, if anything, and it wouldn’t hurt to find out more about Koschei from Vassa. She did live with him for nearly a year. She probably knows more about him than any other living being.”

“What if she doesn't want to talk about him?” Elain was thinking about earlier that day, when she and Vassa had bonded over the shared presence of trauma. How could she force the mortal queen to talk about something so traumatic? To discuss the threat that was still constantly looming over her head?

“I’m sure she won’t. But you’re easy to talk to, Elain. If I was a betting man, and it just so happens I am, I’d say if she was going to open up to anyone, it would be you.”

Trying to ignore the swooping sensation she felt at his kind words, she simply said, “Alright. I’ll do my best.”

He smiled crookedly. “I know you will.” Clearing his throat again, Azriel said, “I need to go. If you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to contact me. I’ll come as soon as I can.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right? For our training session?” She hoped he couldn’t hear the trace of desperation in her voice.

“Of course. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Azriel began to gather his shadows around him.

She swallowed down the lump in her throat, watching as Azriel prepared to depart. It had been so kind of him, truly, to stay with her all day. Today, he had spent the entire day with her at the Mortal Manor, despite all his responsibilities, just to ensure she was safe, settled and comfortable. And maybe it was because Rhys and Feyre had asked him to, but maybe it was because he wanted to, as well. Maybe it was because he did care about her. So what if it wasn’t in a romantic way?

Not enough, that awful little voice whispered. But she pushed it away. His friendship would have to be enough. She was doing enough pretending these days to have to pretend she still hated him, too.

“Goodnight, Azriel,” She said. It was the first time she’d said his name since Nesta and Cassian’s mating ceremony, since she’d found out about the necklace.

He froze and turned those magnificent hazel eyes on her. “I thought familiarities were for friends,” He said hoarsely.

Tilting her head to one side, she smiled coyly in response. “Hmm? Where did you hear that?”

The smile he gave her in return made her weak at the knees.

“Sleep well, Elain. Don’t let any thoughts about hands keep you up.” He laughed at her shocked expression, but by the time she opened her mouth to speak, he had already disappeared into his shadows. But his laugh seemed to linger in the gilded, golden room. It made her feel less alone.

Movement in the corner of the room caught her attention, and her eyes widened in panic before she realized it was just her own reflection staring back at her out what had to be the most ornate mirror she’d ever seen. Approaching it, she turned slightly, her tattoo on full display. It was really quite beautiful.

As she examined the back of her neck, she found herself thinking of the last Solstice again. Azriel’s words repeated in her head. This was a mistake.  

She hoped with all her heart that the same statement would not hold true for the bargain she had just made with the shadowsinger.

[jypbae7]

Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They’ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

[pink-flame]

Like You Could Love Me

So...the Angry Flower Squad was making me SO soft over gifs and @mamirugbee wanted porch fluff with kissing and I remembered that @thedeathdeelers and @missjoolee liked my idea of using this post as a Juke prompt and here we are. I wrote this from 12-2am so it’s quite possibly incoherent and I’m not checking for mistakes until tomorrow so take it for what it is, a late night labor of love. Enjoy! 💜

Julie hadn’t slept for almost 48 hours. 

Her school was hosting a Los Feliz High After Dark event for the lower grades who didn’t get to attend prom. It was pitched as being just as exciting as the dance but in practice was known to be little more than a glorified sleepover in the school gym with PTA members for chaperones. Flynn had been determined that that year would be different, and had talked Julie into joining her on the planning committee. 

The good news was that Flynn had a real flair for party planning and decorating when she was actually invested (see the difference between the dance they tried to forget and the way she had helped Julie’s dad throw together an epic garage party in less than 24 hours). So by the time Julie and Flynn and the other volunteers were done the gym was fully immersed in a carnival theme full of cute booths filled with potential activities and cute backgrounds to take pictures in front of. It was definitely an improvement over the year before which had been an under the sea theme which had consisted mostly of a few blue streamers and Mr. Weaver walking around in an inflatable Nemo costume. 

The bad news was that it had taken a lot longer than they had anticipated and they hadn’t fallen into bed the night before the event until close to 2am. Julie hadn’t been able to sleep even after she slipped into bed next to Flynn and heard her best friend start making the small whistling noises that indicated she was out cold. Julie had been kept up with thoughts of what her bandmates were up to without her and if they had lingered a little longer on what Luke in particular was doing right then, well that wasn’t that surprising. 

She loved Alex and Reggie but neither of them had attempted to hold her hand and remarked on their “interesting little relationship” or suddenly developed the ability to touch her and instinctively joined her in reaching out to gently cradle the other’s face. 

No, Luke was different, not that she wanted to say that in front of him unless she was sure he felt the same overwhelming feelings she did Oddly enough she was much more concerned about the possibility that he didn’t than she was about the fact that he was still..well, a ghost. It wasn’t that she was unaware that his ghostly status could lead to heartache for her later on, of course she was. It just didn’t seem so important suddenly. After what had happened with her mom, what had almost happened with the guys only a couple of months ago...anything could happen at any time. Tomorrow wasn’t guaranteed anyway so why deny herself happiness now if she could have it? If she could have it. Because that was still the question. 

Because Luke obviously liked her but did he like her? That sounded so juvenile but to call it anything else...well, that was really scary. Evil ghosts and the looming possibility of their return had nothing on the insecurity that came with not knowing exactly how the boy you lo...liked felt about you. 

So Julie didn’t get much sleep that night, Flynn’s alarm seeming to go off only moments after she finally drifted off. She had dragged through school that day, trying to match Flynn’s excitement for the night’s upcoming festivities though her own enthusiasm had quickly drained out of her altogether along with her energy. In the end it had been as fun a night as it could be with Julie spending most of it in a semi-exhausted haze. She and Flynn had played some of the games they had set up, and danced to the music they both agreed would have been better if it had been either DJ’d by Flynn or performed by Julie’s band, and when Carrie had sneered something about how tacky the theme was even that had been half hearted and without any real bite. 

So it was a pretty good night all things considered and Julie was in a good mood despite her complete exhaustion by the time Flynn’s mom dropped her off early the next morning. Ok, so maybe part of her good mood was actually because of her exhausted state by that point as she found herself feeling giddy and her mind had gone sort of pleasantly fuzzy. That was her excuse for how she found herself half-skipping up the path towards her front door, singing to herself. 

We create...perfect harmony 

“Somebody had a good time.” 

Julie’s head snapped up to take in the figure of the boy who leaned against the pillar of the porch in front of her, a small smile bordering on a smirk tugging at his lips. 

Luke.

What was he doing there? 

Was he waiting for her?

She had to play it cool. 

She had to be normal. 

She had to not give away all the feelings that had been swirling around inside of her for the last couple of months since they first gained the ability to touch each other whenever they wanted and promptly both became too awkward to touch each other at all. 

She had to…

“I missed you,” She blurted. 

One of Julie’s hands flew up to cover her mouth as she took the last few steps up onto the porch, trying and failing to ignore the way Luke’s eyes widened even as that vaguely infuriating smirk grew larger. 

“I didn’t mean that,” She insisted once her hand had dropped back to her side. “I mean...I didn’t not mean it but...I just meant it would have been fun if you could have come. Any of you. All of you. Um...yeah.” 

Luke let her dig herself deeper, waiting until her stream of words had come to a complete stop. When they finally dried up he pushed off of the pillar with one of his signature little bounces, letting his momentum carry him to within a step of where she stood awkwardly on the porch. 

“Did someone spike the punch at this dance?” He asked her, amusement clear in his tone. 

Julie shook her head a little too fiercely, indignant despite the fact that she couldn’t exactly blame him for suspecting that she was drunk. 

She felt a little drunk. 

Not that she knew what it was like to be drunk but she was pretty sure it was similar to this. 

Not the point. 

“It wasn’t a dance it was a school sanctioned slumber party,” She corrected, focusing all of her energy on not slurring her words or otherwise embarrassing herself. “And nobody spiked anything. And actually nobody drinks punch anymore. Just so you know.” 

Luke held up both hands as though he were surrendering but that smirk of his was impossible to deny at this point, a fact that both made Julie incredibly irritated and simultaneously fighting the urge to lean up and kiss it right off his stupid face. 

Ok, that was not helpful. 

“Not a dance, no punch. Got it,” Luke said, his voice just soft enough to keep her annoyance more or less at bay. 

“Why are you out here anyway?” 

Julie hadn’t meant to ask that but it felt like any filter her brain generally had was long gone at this point. 

Luke tilted his head slightly and reached up to scratch at the back of his neck. 

“Oh, you know, just taking in the view.” 

Julie frowned skeptically. 

“Taking in the view?”

“Yeah,” Luke said, gesturing out at the plant filled yard. “Just communing with nature you know? Honestly, I forgot you were even out last night.” 

“Oh.” 

Julie dipped her head a little so she didn’t have to look directly at Luke as disappointment rushed through her. She was pretty sure she was too tired to keep the evidence of that emotion from being completely visible. She was so frustrated with herself for caring at all. He wasn’t her boyfriend after all. Why would be be waiting for her?

“Julie.” 

She reluctantly raised her head to meet Luke’s gaze which was fixed insistently on her. His smirk had fallen away leaving behind a look at once more open and somehow harder to read at the same time. 

“I’m kidding,” He told her as he took a half-step closer to her, so close that she had to tilt her head up further to maintain eye contact. “I was waiting for you.” 

“Oh,” She said again, very aware that she seemed to have lost the ability to say anything else. 

She reached deep down inside and mustered up the strength to pull out one further word. 

“Why?” 

His eyes somehow managed to soften even more and his voice was oddly breathy when he answered. 

“Because I missed you too.” 

And Julie knew that the most prudent thing to do was tuck that phrase away as something warm, and happy and precious to examine more closely when she had slept and had the mental prowess to actually determine what it meant for their interesting little relationship. 

She knew that. 

But she was exhausted not only from lack of sleep but from months spent questioning where they stood. She was happy to hear him say that he had missed her, of course she was. But she also found herself feeling strangely...angry. 

How dare he look at her with those big soft eyes and stare at her like that if he wasn’t ever planning on actually putting her out of her misery by telling her how he felt or didn’t feel?

“I wish you wouldn’t look at me like that,” The words burst out of her without her permission. 

Luke was clearly taken aback by her words, his eyebrows shooting up his forehead. 

“Like what?” 

“I don’t know,’ She hesitated, just enough awareness seeping back in to make her realize what a truly stupid thing she was about to say. “Like you could love me.” 

She watched as a whole range of emotions rushed over his face too quickly for her to decipher exactly what all of them were. 

“Julie…” 

“Forget I said anything,” Julie interrupted, turning towards the front door with every intention to flee the situation. “I’m just really tired.” 

“Julie!” 

He said her name more forcefully that time and she froze. She didn’t turn back to face him though, the pounding in her chest and the heat spreading across her face giving her all the incentive she needed to keep her head facing away. 

Luke wasn’t having any of that though. 

He reached out to gently tug her back towards him, one hand settling on her cheek while the other rested on her waist. 

If she hadn’t been blushing before she certainly was now. 

“Do you not want me to look at you like that because...because you don’t feel the same?” 

Luke’s voice shook a little as he gave voice to that question, his thumb seeming to stroke across her cheek without his permission. 

Julie was reeling, everything feeling surreal and dreamlike anyway because of her lack of sleep but when combined with Luke’s gentle actions it felt more and more unreal. She couldn’t help but remember the last time he had touched her face, how they had clutched at each other thinking it was the only chance they would ever have. Now they had new chances every day and they had been wasting them. 

Why had they been wasting them?

“Wait...feel the same as what? Feel the same as who?” She asked as her brain finally caught up with what he had actually said. 

He visibly swallowed and she took some comfort in the fact that apparently he was nervous too. 

“The same as I feel,” He paused. “About you. I...I love you, Julie. And if that makes you uncomfortable I never have to say it again, ok? But it’s how I feel and I just wanted to say it. Once or whatever.” 

“But…” Julie felt a giggle rising up inside of her as exhaustion and the pure absurdity of the moment settled in. “But I love you too.” 

Luke’s thumb froze on her face as his eyes lit up with something close to hope. 

“You do?” 

Julie nodded, the giggle finally bursting out of her only to be met with a grin from Luke so radiant she wished she could capture it in a photo to look at later. 

“You love me,” Luke said again as though he needed to confirm beyond any shadow of doubt. 

“I love you,” Julie repeated agreeably. “And you love me?” 

Luke nodded, bouncing a little on his heels as he somehow managed to step even more into her space. 

“I love you.” 

“Well…” Julie sighed happily. “Well, that’s great then.” 

Luke let out a bark of laughter that probably would have been loud enough to bring her dad to the porch if anyone but her had been able to hear it. 

Before she had time to remark on how obnoxiously loud he could be he was crowding her back until she bumped into the pillar he had been leaning against when she got home. The moment her back made contact with its firm surface he was bringing his other hand up until he was cupping both of her cheeks. She barely had time to adjust to that very much welcome sensation before he was lowering his head and aligning his lips with hers, pressing them together in a chaste peck that was still enough to send her heart racing. He started to pull back as if to gauge her reaction but she was having none of that. She had been waiting for this for so long and as previously established she had absolutely none of her usual ability to deny herself what she wanted. 

And what she wanted was her hands on Luke Patterson right then. 

She reached up and latched one hand on the back of his neck and the other threaded deep into his hair giving it a little tug just because she could. She had been wanting to touch him so badly ever since that night in the garage when she’d almost lost him and she’d been wanting to touch his dumb, messy hair ever since “I’m Luke by the way”. So she did. 

He let out a little pleased sound that was cut off when she stretched up to press her mouth back to his, this time with twice as much force and no intention of separating anytime soon. To his credit he took the hint pretty fast, his hands dropping from her face to wrap around her waist tugging her body to press against his as he moved his lips insistently against hers. And wow...that was something, the sensation of almost all of her pressed up against almost all of him. 

He wasn’t warm, not exactly, but he wasn’t cold either like she had feared he would be. It was more like his body was mirroring back exactly her own temperature, leaving it hard to determine where one of them began and the other ended when her eyes were closed as they currently were. 

Or maybe that was just them. 

Maybe it was like that quote she always saw floating around online about souls being made of the same stuff. 

When she was well rested and thinking rationally she had always rolled her eyes a bit at stuff like that but now...she was beginning to see the appeal. 

Julie massaged absentmindedly at the back of his neck as she drew his lower lip into her mouth, the sound he made in response enough to have her pulling back with a giggle. 

“Come back here,” He mumbled, his lips chasing hers even as she turned her face away leaving him to press soft, wet kisses to her cheek. 

“Now you sound drunk,” She told him, turning back to face him and looping both arms around his shoulders. “My dad will be up soon and I have no idea how I’d explain...this...when he can’t even see you.” 

Luke groaned as he leaned down to rest his forehead against hers. 

“You’re right.” 

“I’m right,” Julie echoed. 

It was true but that didn’t mean she was happy about it. 

They stayed like that for another minute or so, just enjoying being this close to each other with nothing to hide. They might have stayed like that longer but Julie suddenly let out a yawn she couldn’t contain directly into Luke’s face. 

Luke pulled back sharply but the soft smile that seemed to always be reserved just for her remained in place. 

“You need to get some sleep,” He told her firmly. 

She wanted to argue but all that came out was another yawn. 

Ok, so there was no arguing with that. 

“Goodnight,” She told him, suddenly feeling shy as she backed towards the front door wanting to keep him in her sight just a little longer. 

Luke gestured around them to the soft light spilling around her yard. 

“Good morning,” He corrected with a grin. 

Never one to let him have the last word, certainly not when she was too tired to be embarrassed, Julie leapt forward to press one final lingering kiss on his lips, retreating before he could do more than return the pressure.

Julie backed towards the front door, the grin now firmly on her face and a rather dumbstruck one adorning his. 

“Band practice later,” She reminded him. “Don’t be late.” 

Then she slipped into the house and up to her bed, incredibly tired and pretty sure of exactly  what she would be dreaming of. 

[catstailtavern]

Genshin impact characters as gamers

Characters: Abedo, Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Zhongli, Jean, Hu Tao, and Lisa

content warnings: Childe being kinda an asshole lol.

authors note: I might do more in the future! These are just my headcanons so if you don't agree that cool! Feel free to let me know what you think they're like as gamers!!

Albedo:

what they look for in a game: Albedo seems like the type to enjoy games with vast worlds that involve lots of exploration and puzzles. I also feel like he like more quiet gameplay- if that makes any sense. Very much "Show, don't tell." Likes walking simulators!

things that turn them off from a game: He dislikes when games over-explain themselves/their plots. He likes to be able to unfold the mysteries and plot threads himself instead of being spoonfed. He also dislikes voice chat bc people are mean. If there is a VC he mutes basically everyone even if it makes teamwork difficult.

how much time do they devote to videogames: Albedo really only plays videogames on days off or when alchemy research has hit a lull.

a game or games that I think they'd like: outer wilds, shadow of the colossus, and journey.

Kaeya:

what they look for in a game: Story-rich games with unique art that explore heavy topics or philosophical themes! but also really likes multiplayer games where he can troll lol.

things that turn them off from a game: If he dislikes the art he finds it hard to play or pay attention to. This doesn't mean he demands picture-perfect graphics! He's mostly into unrealistic and eye-catching graphics/art he likes games with style and flair!

how much time do they devote to video games: Kaeya likes to play after a long day of work to unwind and relax!

a game or games that I think they'd like: Disco Elysium and the persona series!

Diluc:

what they look for in a game: Diluc is a very busy man who likes to be in control of his life and the things that affect it. Therefore I have come to the conclusion that he likes simple and sweet games with low stakes where he is mostly in control if not basically god haha.

things that turn them off from a game: Games that involve him to be emotionally invested or have lots of stressors are not his thing. Games are played to relieve his stress, not make him cry over character death.

how much time do they devote to video games: He likes to play a little bit on his break when he gets the chance or a little bit after work. Doesn't like to play for too long each day or he feels unproductive!

a game or games that I think they'd like: the sims, planet zoo, my time at Portia, stardew valley, and ANIMAL CROSSING!! (I dont care if this is OOC okay. Diluc plays animal crossing on his lunch break. His favorite villagers are the bird ones. His favorite fruits are apples and cherries, and he loves terraforming his island. He finds it therapeutic.)

Childe:

what they look for in a game: loves gacha games, he's a total whale, and loves to flex his pulls. Also loves games with intense competitive multiplayer and couch co-op games. Absolutely a sore winner who everyone hates playing jack box with.

things that turn them off from a game: Dislikes the story mode of most games bc they usually fail to keep this attention. He'd much rather be making yo mama jokes and shit-talking n00bs over the mic like the little asshole gremlin he is. The only exception so far is "The Last of Us," because of one time when the internet was shitting out on him during matchmaking. He decided to play the story while his connection got itself together and ended up liking it.

how much time do they devote to video games: Stays up late playing them at night a LOT. They're usually the reason he's tired the next day.

a game or games that I think they'd like: mario kart, smash bros, arknights, mortal kombat, apex, and dead by daylight.

Zhongli:

what they look for in a game: Zhongli likes simple games with cute graphics and easy controls. Mostly a mobile gamer as he finds most console game controls confusing. Loves virtual remakes of classic games that he used to play with other people physically.

things that turn them off from a game: Really dislikes first-person shooters. He finds them loud and disorienting. Poor old man.

how much time do they devote to videogames: Barely ever plays, might play while having a cup of tea or to pass the time while waiting for something!

a game or games that I think they'd like: mahjong, solitaire, candy crush, and those lumosity games for training your brain.

Jean:

what they look for in a game: At first when jean thought of video games the only thing that came to mind was "a waste of time." As the acting grand master of the knights of Favonius she rarely has time to socialize or even date. That's when she decided to maybe just maybe give dating sims a shot. She's a bit insecure about it, but they give her butterflies without the strain of a real relationship.

things that turn them off from a game: Really dislikes games that glorify villainy or have you play as the bad guy. She also really hates horror games. Fun fact, she played doki doki literature club but missed the warning somehow and WOW she got really upset-

how much time do they devote to video games: As mentioned previously Jean is a busy gal. So she really only gets to play games on her rare days off or maybe just a little before bed.

a game or games that I think they'd like: I don't know a lot of sweet and fluffy dating sims but I feel like the sweet and fluffy ones are her favorite! I've really only played one dating sim before and that was monster prom so I'm gonna use that for the example lol. I know there's a lot of mischief in that game but she always chooses the more moral upstanding choice even if it cost her a date haha.

Hu Tao:

what they look for in a game: Hu Tao is partial to games with gothic aesthetics and horror elements! Specifically really loves psychological horror and unique creature design. Enjoys difficult gameplay and feels a sense of accomplishment when she succeeds!

things that turn them off from a game: When a game is too easy to play she gets bored rather quickly.

how much time do they devote to video games: Frequently plays really late at night while listening to a paranormal podcast or other spooky content.

a game or games that I think they'd like: Dark souls, Darkwood, The cat lady, rule of rose.

Lisa:

what they look for in a game: Like Childe, Lisa likes competitive gameplay. But she's more into fantasy MMO RPGs! She just really loves fantasy things it doesn't have to be multiplayer. Also really likes games with lots of lore and digs strategy turn-based combat! Other game types she likes are visual novels or anything with a good story-driven narrative. Loves being able to discuss fan theories online in forums.

things that turn them off from a game: Mediocre writing, poor/inconsistent world-building, or a lack of lore. She needs a story to sink her teeth into or she just won't play.

how much time do they devote to video games: Probably plays a lot. Really only pausing to correct people's behavior in the library!

a game or games that I think they'd like: World of Warcraft, Hearthstone, League of legends, Darkest dungeon, and slay the spire.

[blu-joons]

When You Feel Insecure Because Of Your Acne ~ GOT7 Reaction

Mark:

Any event Mark took you to was a nervous occasion, watching as all the idols walked into the room, you couldn’t help but feel like you didn’t belong. Mark sighed as he felt your body tense up, kissing sweetly against the side of your face.

“You’re gorgeous,” was all he had to say, knowing straight away what was going on with you, “you’re the most beautiful person in the room tonight.”

You turned to look at him with a questionable glance, “if that’s the case, how come no one else in this room has their acne visible, even if they spent hours trying to cover it all up?”

Mark frowned, he’d been through hell and back watching you prepare for the event trying anything to hide your spots, or just get rid of them all together. But he knew, and so did you, that your acne was something that wouldn’t go away.”

“So what? No one looks as good in their outfit as you do.”

“But no one looks at my outfit, they look at my face.”

His head shook, resting his hand against your side, “I look at your outfit, because I think your body looks incredible, you look stunning.”

“Don’t just say those things to make me feel better, I know what you think.”

“I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself and listen to your boyfriend, because he’d never lie to you, would he?”

“I guess he wouldn’t.”

JB:

Each time you saw JB with his makeup done it killed a part of you inside, his skin was flawless, even without makeup, leaving you often sitting back and comparing yourself, wishing you could have skin like he does.

“I think I might start wearing makeup every day,” you announced, taking him by surprise, “you always manage to look nice with it and without it, maybe it’s the solution I need.”

He pulled you close to him, “the solution to what? I look horrendous without my makeup on, but you’re gorgeous without it, I wish I could look like you do with natural skin.”

JB knew that you tended to beat yourself up over your acne, it was the biggest insecurity you’d had since the very start of your relationship, but that never stopped him reminding you that it was a part of you that you should embrace.

“I won’t stop you wearing makeup if it’s what you want to do.”

“Because you think that I need it?”

His head shook as he sighed heavily, “not at all. With or without makeup it makes no difference to me, you’ll always be beautiful in my eyes.”

“You clearly don’t know what beautiful is if you think it describes me.”

“I do,” he assured you, “I wake up and go to bed beside a beautiful face every night, one that I’m extremely lucky to have in my life, believe me.”

“I do believe you, thank you Jae.”

Jackson:

The silence that came from you instantly had Jackson worried, he watched you closely as you stared out of the window, brushing your hands over your face, trying to figure out what it was that had caught your attention.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He chuckled, making you jump. “Something’s clearly on your mind, and a problem shared is a problem halved?”

You smiled softly, feeling his presence join you by the window, “I read a study that said a lot of sunlight clears up acne, so that’s what I’m trying to do.”

He didn’t want to laugh, but he struggled to truly understand your logic. His arm wrapped lightly around your waist, staring out of the window, there was barely any sun in the skin as the winter months were quickly arriving.

“Have you ever just thought about using a cream of something?”

“None of it works, what else can I do?”

He pulled you closely into his side, “you could just embrace that this is who you are. I know you don’t like it, but I love it, what I hate is seeing you beat yourself up about this.”

“You have perfect skin, it’s easy for you,” you complained.

“My skin is far from perfect,” he chuckled, “I wish I could have flawless skin too, but sometimes we just have to live with what we have.”

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

Jinyoung:

You sighed as you stared at your reflection in the mirror, grazing your fingers gently over the scars across your cheeks, you couldn’t help but get upset, frowning when you felt a strong pair of arms hold you, pulling closely into his chest.

“Stop this,” he sighed, kissing against the nape of your neck, “you’re beautiful, you’ve always been beautiful, nothing will ever change that,” he comforted, tickling lightly against your hips.

You refused to believe him, “look how bad my flair up is right now, I’ve tried everything to get it to go away and it won’t.” You tried to wriggle away from him, but he refused to let you go.

The two of you had had the conversation several times, but he never minded, it was his job to be there to support you when you felt down, he was never going to stop doing that for you.

“You’re going to try and tell me you’re ugly, aren’t you?”

“You seriously think that I don’t?”

His head shook, twirling you around so that your eyes could meet his, “I think you look beautiful; I’ll never stop telling you how beautiful you are in my eyes.”

“I wish I could see what you see sometimes.”

“You will, it just takes time, some days you have good days, others aren’t so good,” he smiled, kissing the tip of your nose, “a good day will come, I know it will.”

“I hope you’re right; I want a good day too.”

Youngjae:

Listening to you talk about the new girl at your office was tough on him, he could tell how jealous you were of her, reeling off feature after feature that you liked about her and compared yourself to her too.

“Do you realise what you sound like?” He questioned once you were done, “I can’t believe you feel like you’re not as beautiful as her, when you are.”

Your head shook, looking at him in despair. “Were you not listening to me? She even shows up to work without makeup, could you imagine what I’d look like if I did that?”

Whilst he was yet to meet the mystery worker who had clearly got under your skin, he refused to believe that she was any more beautiful you were, that was by far impossible in his eyes to ever be the case.

“You’d still look beautiful if you didn’t wear makeup.”

“Everyone would have to look at my acne though.”

He nodded, wrapping his arms around you, “and I’m sure no one would make a big deal about it, because it really is a big deal.”

“But she doesn’t have acne, or any marks, it’s just not fair,” you continued to groan.

“But I bet she’s not anywhere near as an incredible person as you are, the office knows you’re valuable, and not just for your looks.”

“I guess so, thank you Youngjae.”

BamBam:

He couldn’t help but look confused as you walked down the stairs with a baseball cap positioned firmly on your head, and one of your biggest scarves wrapped tightly around your neck, shielding as much of yourself as possible.

“It’s warm outside babe,” he chuckled, trying to take it away from you, but you held onto it close. “You’re going to be far too hot in that, and people won’t be able to see your face.”

Your head nodded, stepping away from him, “that’s the point, I don’t want anyone seeing me, my acne is horrible, it’s better like this,” you sighed, walking towards the front door.

BamBam was quick to follow you with a sympathetic smile, everything quickly made sense to him. He didn’t want to push you into anything, but he couldn’t bare to see you be so hard on yourself over something so small to him.

“Will you take it off and show me what’s going on?”

“I don’t want you to see,” you harshly replied.

He nodded, remaining calm, “everyone gets spotty, it’s natural jagi. I still think you’re look beautiful, even more so without the hat and the scarf.

“But everyone is probably going to look at me.”

“They will, but only because they won’t believe how beautiful you are. Please, for me, just take it off,” he sighed, holding it closely again in the hope you’d agree.

“If anyone stares, I’m putting it all straight back on!”

Yugyeom:

As you turned to face Yugyeom, snuggled closely under the duvet, feeling his hand press to your cheek, you couldn’t help but move back, guiding his hand so it rested back by his side, turning back around so that your back faced him.

“What did you do that for?” He challenged, propping himself up so that he could see your face, resting against your shoulder. “Will you look at me?”

Your head shook, burying your face into the pillow, “you don’t deserve to look at me, no one should be made to look at my face, it’s horrible.”

He frowned, hearing you be so critical of yourself tore him apart, but he knew why you did it, the marks of acne you carried had been the downfall many a time when Yugyeom wanted to be close to you, but he never really understood why.

“I always want to look at your face, it’s my favourite.”

“That’s not true, that’s impossible.”

He sighed, “it’s not impossible at all, can you just turn around so I can see you, please? I want to properly be able to tell how beautiful you are.”

“Fine,” you huffed, turning around to anxiously face him.

“See, beautiful,” he chuckled, placing his hand back where he had it before, “I won’t ever stop telling you beautiful you are, so get used to it.”

“You can try, but I might not listen.”

---

Masterlist