#my mind circles around the fact that good boy is canonized.

[magnusbae]

Obi-Wan is being so normal about Anakin. (Clone Wars Gambit: Siege)

[vivi-scera]

ohhhh i have so many questions to ask now that i apologize beforehand for throwing you questions instead of actually giving a response-reply to your ask 😭

1) “i like thinking about jason-robin's relationship with bruce the most but i like tim as robin best” plss if u could pls elaborate on this? this is so interesting bcs for a second i thought it would be jason robin or even dick robin since hes the first one!

2) ”i think i was mostly thinking bruce/jason since i was talking about johndean” this is interesting too bcs i was hyperfocused on comparing dean’s devotion to dick’s, hence my ask & why i bring dick robin specifically, and now im curious abt your comparison :D

3) “i'm going to be actively problematic and say that bruce sees dick as something less than his partner and something more than his son” is it like what i think it is is it more in line with smth smth owning smth smth *eyes emoji*

4) your tags!! thats interesting too that you prefer jaytim as batcest, instead of like timdick whos more like brothers or jaydick with jason’s “envy” (to simplify it) at dick’s golden boy ness (also to simplify it) which could be a source of conflict between jason & bruce

haha no worries, i did totally set you up.

1.yeah so tim is my favorite robin <3 relatively unpopular opinion to have in my immediate circle apparently. though probably not as unpopular as saying damian is your favorite. but like, tim's the underdog! the odd one out!! he understands the meta-narrative role that robin plays in batman's life and tries to fulfill it. he's such a deeply interesting character not only in how he views himself as the weakest robin/the robin batman didn't choose, but also in how the other robins, canonically, view tim as the best out of them (because he's the most like daddy). i don't mind as much when fanon obfuscates his characterization because he really can be such a blank slate, more or less. as in, meta-narratively, tim decides to be whatever/whoever is best for batman, erasing the part of himself that is tim drake in favor of coalescing with "robin". he's the only robin who really is robin. which is really very tragic if you think about it. but also makes for fantastic bruce/tim fodder :) i would expand more on my love for tim but this ask would get WAY too long. read Liminal Space by Calamityjim on ao3 if you've watched young justice and have read the red robin 2009 run (an EXCELLENT read btw) if you want the gist of the angst.

as for the others, i think jason has had the best character evolution —not just in the batman storyline but as a comic character in general. i really think his death, and to a much lesser extent his rebirth, is the best/most impactful development in all of superhero comic history. superheroes as we know them today would largely not exist without his character. dick is fine, i like him third best. just because he was the first doesn't make him special to me lmao. the fact that others came after him is what makes him interesting to me, in addition to his relationship with batman— which is currently the most interesting batman-robin romantic relationship to me rn. i've seen some insane meta about him around but mostly based on somewhat outdated runs, which really doesn't mean anything when it comes to comics i guess. i don't think he's been in anything interesting/good in over a decade. i also wish i could mail tom taylor anthrax <3 damian is... my least favorite (skipping steph, sorryy i do love her but there's not enough canon for me to have an actual opinion). i think damian's interesting but only as a source of conflict (and ofc his dynamic with dick-batman). he doesn't really stand on his own and he's annoying.

2. i don't necessarily think that bruce/jason is closer to johndean than bruce/dick is (i actually think bruce/tim is closer relatively, but there's not a comparable pairing imo. i also just don't think dick is necessarily "devoted" to batman as much as tim is. his goals, like mentioned, align more with being able to call himself bruce's equal, which could be conflated with desire i.e. in bruce/dick). but there are a lot of functional aspects of the jason-robin & batman dynamic that is parallel to the relationship between dean and john as hunters imo— mostly having to do with consensual practices. is dean/jason-robin in control of his narrative purpose as a hunter/sidekick or are they doing what is necessary to survive? what does it mean for either of them when duty and pleasure are conflated? etc. i really love the headcanon that jason was a child-prostitute, which would be a functional role that carried over in being robin for another older man, so that was mostly where i was coming from. child soldiers... can't get enough of em.

3. haha i don't really know what the "something" is that i was referring to, just some vague middle ground that's gonna go undefined because where's the fun in defining the relationship that a man shares with the preteen ward in his possession who he may or may not want to be his son but who he treats like a spouse because mentally & emotionally he hasn't moved on from the day he was 9 years old and his parents died. maybe dick grows up but bruce never will :'). well, maybe he grows up a little when each robin leaves him

4. and yaaaa jaytim, favorite pairing of all time. they can be enemies to lovers. the ghost and the haunted. rebecca and the narrator. brother-rivals trying to become their father but who are held back by the lack of a quality that the other possesses (see nearmello death note). i'm gonna go the fanon route and say jason was tim's robin (even though, timeline wise, it could totally have been dick). so there is that adoration-envy (that tim would have for jason) that jason would have for dick in jaydick (which is a pairing i also like, don't get me wrong! i just maybe like it as a one-sided thing. or we could have the worst love triangle in the world with damian->tim->jason->dick->bruce all unrequited lmao). but in jaytim there's the addition of the danger element— jason at one point or another did want to kill tim. and not only was jason tim's robin, he was also his ghost story! an example of what would happen to tim if something went wrong. so adoration-envy-fear which transmutes to sexual interest. very sadomasochistic route we could take there. and for jason, tim is the kid who replaced him! who's evidently better at being daddy's favorite! he can die psychosexually mad about it. neither timdick or jaydick have that enemies/lovers edge that i really like (see kurokura hunter x hunter). they also just have some interesting canon history that writers never get into— like batman-jason trying to conscript tim as his robin during battle for the cowl. i am TRYING to write a jaytim fic but i keep getting distracted by other pairings. i thought i was gonna get to it after finishing the one i'm working on but i might just do brudick next so we'll see. send more questions/responses if you have them <3

[notyour-valentine]

John Shelby & Milf!Reader ~ Headcanon

Note: Too long ago @sonichkkaaascreams snowed into my inbox with the idea of the Shelby!boys x Milf and I do still have an idea for a multi!part series in the back of my mind, I didn't want to keep her waiting so here is John. I also thought of something in regards to Michael, Tommy and Arthur.

I do not consent to my work being translated, copied or posted elsewhere on this platform or any other. This hasn't been beta'd so I apologise for typos or mistakes. Here is my Masterlist.

Warning: As I am an adult, all my writing I share is unless explicitly stated for adults (18/21+). Expect canon confirming tone, language and depiction of violence. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. 

Request: @sonichkkaaascreams

Wordcount: 580

You lived not too far where John and Martha used to live during the war. She had only been so young and you had pitied her with three young children and husband  away. So you helped out from time to time, especially when her last pregnancy grew difficult. 

So when you see her second, Johnny, who had been named after his father, with bloody knees after playing in the streets you sat him down on your kitchen table, cleaned him up and even offered to stitch his trousers.

During that time, he played with your children. Even though you were a good five years older than Martha, your children were of an age. 

You send him home once you’re done only to have him come by a few days later explaining that the baby was hurting and that they didn’t know what to do “because Aunt Pol’s out”

You found a house in chaos, with the youngest baby teething and screaming the house down. The other two children were as sleep deprived as their father, who really did try, despite the circles under his eyes and the desperation in his voice. 

You pitied her widower, just as you had pitied Martha, with four young children who either did not know or did not remember him and no idea how to really care about them. 

So you help, and once the baby is soothed with cold cloths to chew on and a massage to the gums (not whisky like his father suggested!) you give John the same offer you had given Martha, that your door was open any time. 

It’s slow at first, but then John Shelby shows up at your door more often, whether it be because a child was ill, or him not knowing how to do Katie’s hair and needing your help

In exchange he offers to help in any way he can, though in the most clumsy way possible - “With the heavy lifting…and stuff..and if anyone’s ever bothering you, I can take care of it.”

You grow to like him because, despite everything he has something so many people had lost - lightheartedness

He doesn’t mind crawling around on the floor pretending to be a horse with children, both yours and his, and doesn't mind playing the fool to make them - and you - laugh. 

After four years of war and hardship, it felt so good to laugh again

John, in turn, starts to like you because you don’t judge him for his mistakes but also because you’ve taken away his fear of failing when it came to his children. 

The rest just happens, really. 

One night, John brought liquor and while the children are asleep you get drunk in the kitchen. After half a bottle he insists on teaching you a dance he learnt as a boy when on the road. 

It is chaotic and wild, more twirling and jumping than actual steps, and it ended up with you both crashing to the ground trying to stifle your drunken laughter to not wake the children. 

You’re not doing all too well and so he silences you with other means

For a while, you were worried that things would change, but in fact nothing did, nothing except the fact that John couldn’t seem to be able to keep his hands to himself whenever even the slightest opportunity struck. 

After all, there wasn’t much time with that many children running around, but whatever time they had, he wanted to make good use of

And, of course, you didn’t mind in the slightest

~

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

Taglist

@lilyrachelcassidy @jyessaminereads @watercolorskyy

@books-livre @chlorrox @quarterpastmidnight

[painted-fanbird]

The Time Between

Word Count: 676

Summary: Vlad mulls over what to do with Danny after he passes out upon defeating Pariah Dark.

Preview: What am I going to do with you, Little Badger? Vlad wondered as he floated through the Ghost Zone.

He considered taking Daniel all the way back to Wisconsin, then promptly dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come. No, that wouldn’t do. Daniel would wake up and start throwing blasts of ectoplasm around with no regard for the safety of himself, Vlad, or Vlad’s material possessions. Wisconsin wouldn’t do at all.

A/N: The fact that Vlad apparently carried Danny back to his house at the end of Reign Storm has been living literally rent free in my mind since I first watched that episode. I’ve gone feral and unhinged over the thought and in my mind that is the start of Vlad’s domestication arc, so I’ve written this as such XD

Everything that happened after is barely canon bc I feel fine and normal about how Vlad’s characterization was totally butchered :/

Vlad had been gloating, gloating, mere moments ago. Delighting in Daniel’s surprise as he locked Pariah in his tomb. It really was just chess, Daniel.

Then the boy’s eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped against the seat of the exo-skeleton.

Vlad deflated, the wind taken right out of his sails, taking half a step forward as his brows pushed together with a frown.

It almost wasn’t an odd reaction, all things considered, if Vlad wrote off the feeling as nothing more than disappointment that his formally captive audience was now unconscious. Which was what he was was doing. Because there was something else there, something that looked an awful lot like concern, or care, or maybe even a flash of something protective. Vlad ignored it. Daniel had scorned him, rejected him, and Vlad felt nothing but bitter anger about it.

Definitely nothing else.

He approached the suit.

Daniel was slumped against the seat cushions, the neural receptors already disengaged, and his face so devoid of color it would’ve made a ghost feel positively flushed, with dark circles under his eyes. Vlad pursed his lips. Daniel had over exerted himself, not without good reason mind you, but he’d knocked himself out all the same and someone was going to need to get him home.

Sighing, Vlad pushed the protective dome of the exo-skeleton up, tucking Daniel’s arms across his torso and lifting him easily to his chest. That someone to get him home might as well be him. It was the least he could do, considering Daniel had been ever so kind as to clean up his mess.

“Skulker,” Vlad said, turning towards the ghost who’d been standing so silently beside an equally quiet Fright Knight, he’d almost forgotten they were there. “Do take the suit back to my lab, I’d hate to see it fall back into the wrong hands.” Over his shoulder as he turned to leave he added; “And Fright Knight, I’ll be in touch.”

Skulker and Fright Knight, wisely, only nodded and did not comment on the decidedly gentle way Vlad cradled Daniel to his chest.

***

What am I going to do with you, Little Badger? Vlad mused as he floated through the Ghost Zone.

He considered taking Daniel all the way back to Wisconsin, then promptly dismissed the idea as quickly as it had come. No, that wouldn’t do. Daniel would wake up and start throwing blasts of ectoplasm around with no regard for the safety of himself, Vlad, or Vlad’s material possessions. Wisconsin wouldn’t do at all.

He could just set Daniel down somewhere in Amity Park, and fire off blasts of ectoplasm like a flare until someone showed up to retrieve him. But… who knows who’d pick him up honestly, and the idea of malicious ghosts or ghost hunters who weren’t his parents getting their hands on him made Vlad’s heart seize in a weird way. He chose to chalk that up to not wanting anyone learning any more about half-ghosts than the “nothing” they currently did.

Vlad was pulled from his thoughts as he readjusted his grip on Daniel. The boy wasn’t heavy, but he wasn’t exactly light either, ghost fighting built muscle whether you wanted it too or not, and Daniel fought a lot of ghosts. He let out a soft sigh, barely more than a deeper breath, really, and curled into Vlad’s chest.

A side effect of his fire core, Vlad thought idly, he put off more heat than the average living person. He was a veritable walking furnace, and to an unconscious teenager who was probably struggling to regulate his own body temperature thanks to his exhaustion, it probably felt downright magical.

Vlad chose to completely ignore what that thought made him feel, and instead heaved a long sigh.

Home. He needed to take the boy home. All the way home.

Maddie is going to love me for this, Vlad thought. Once more choosing ignore the way the thought of getting his arch-nemesis back safely to his room placated something in his chest.

[soursfilms]

this is my first post and maybe my only post here because i usually just lurk, like and comment, but portwells and rinis make these three questions/comments a lot especially with recent events, and i just want to talk about them and answer them for you. hopefully this will answer it and give you a different perspective. 

(i don’t mean to come across as rude im just very brutally honest with the way i talk. so if you get easily angry or upset scroll, but im going to tag all ships in the tags because again, im answering questions/comments i see in the tag a lot and im not hating on the ships or characters by any means, im not an anti, im just answering. so if you’re open for an open minded conversation keep reading. i don’t want to hear that you weren’t warned or that i didn’t tag anti * tags because like i said, im not an anti)

one;

“if nini was in season three the season would look very different” *regarding ricky and gina*

the show has established in season two they were no good for each other right now and ricky hated who he was becoming. (which are words that came out of canon ricky’s mouth. a fact.) if you like nini you would also know her arc was about finding herself and doing things for herself. so why would they put her with ricky again in season three? that’s not a second chance that’s their millionth one! jk* i can go on a rant about how the show foreshadowed their downfall since season one from the moment ricky’s mom said “not all couples are meant to be together” but i won’t because that can be biased and im not trying to do that in this post.

ricky’s unresolved feelings for gina were always there. they never had closure. it was only a matter of time until they’d have to circle back to it and address them. the show let rini go in a beautiful way id highly doubt they’d go back to it in season three after they just broke up for a second time. as a nini stan id be pissed if they did. (i love all the characters btw)

tim has said in an interview the rini breakup was planned before “drama” happened. so no, it’s not because of that rini is over. he also said in an interview, when asked about the rina flashback, that it was filmed in season one, so it was planned. also mentioned a comment, that they’re, “seeds being planted for the future” again another fact he said. (like i said, im not here to bash or be petty, just answering your questions with facts. im not pulling these quotes out of thin air.)

i think a lot of you can’t accept that tim federle is obviously going for a girl falls first boy falls harder trope with ricky and gina. which is the oldest teen drama trope in the book. he draws inspiration from old teen dramas, like dawson’s creek (which he has mentioned a lot!) a show where the protagonist ends up with her second love. very familiar situation here, right?

two;

 “that’s his third choice”

ricky didn’t choose nini over gina because gina was not there to be chosen. SHE MOVED. she ignored his texts, told him to never call her again. so tell me how he was going to “choose” gina? especially when the show runner has said he was “clinging to his past with nini.” (another fact he said in an interview)

they took gina away for ricky to acknowledge nini again. missed a whole episode without her.

when you choose both options need to be available to you and gina was not. 

lily wasn’t even a choice because by then gina was not even speaking to him! she ignored his attempt to partner in 206 and he gave her space. lily was a rebound, he disliked her and the canon show made that clear. 

at the end of the day being around someone you have unresolved feelings for will resurface them. ricky liking gina is nothing new. we knew they mutually liked each other in season one.

he never made “choices” their timing was just never right. 

this perception you all have with being first, second or third choice is very weird? because by that logic isn’t ej gina’s “second choice” because she couldn’t have ricky? yeah okay.

you’re all confusing bad timing for “second options”

second love ≠ second choice

three;

“what about all this ej and gina development” is simply answered with, that was clearly a plot device ship. you didn’t see their first kiss, didn’t get pay off when they were together only five seconds at the beginning of summer and so much more, it was very evident where it was going…

gina NEEDED relationship experience before she ever got with ricky. she needed to move on so ricky could be the one pining, because that’s how the trope works and they’re filling out all the boxes for it. 

you all hate ricky and gina because you see their season two angst as this unforgivable thing when ricky never hurt her intentionally. she was sad because he was in a relationship and she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted to. the same thing ricky is going through now.

this fandom can’t understand good angst because you expect everything to be sunshine and rainbows and that’s not how teen dramas work. they’re teenagers! they make mistakes! ricky made his but guess what? he’s paying for it now 10X worse. 

now ej is making his mistakes, which is actually what season two did to ricky. he was the “villain” and you all hated him (when he was just going through a lot) and then, here comes ej being put in a more positive light and being the “prince in shining armor” to gina’s story. (i can go on a rant about this and the writing and the double standards you all have for those two characters, but i won’t…)

at the end of the day they all “deserve” love. and im sorry but we can all see where the writing for this show is going towards and a lot of you are being bitter about it, which understandable, (i understand not liking seeing ej’s character be the one used for this development for the main character’s benefit) but missing the point completely to fit your narrative. calling rina a “third, second, etc choice” or “wouldn’t happen if nini didn’t leave” or “fan service” is just false and extremely petty. you can say you hate the ship, but making up false statements is ???

especially when i can pull different scenes from season one and two that debunks those arguments that “ricky never cared for gina” he was glancing at her in new years, basically told gina they were each others confidants in 203 “we do that for each other” etc. obviously they weren’t strong because he was in a relationship just like gina’s feelings aren’t strong now because she’s ALSO in a relationship. however, that doesn’t take away the fact they were always left unresolved, for the both of them.

and this is all i have to say on that!

we all have our opinions but some of you think and believe your opinion is a fact when it’s not. i just debunked these comments/arguments for you with facts and you don’t have to agree with me or like the ship (you can ship whatever. you can hate rina, it doesn’t matter.) but a lot of your opinions aren’t a fact when it’s not what the canon show is telling you.

[fangsforiris]

Can I please request shu with kianna komori but how would he be in a relationship with her and how would he react to her self-harm

By the way you can find something on my page on Tumblr

Shū/Kianna Komori (OC) Relationship HC’s

& His Reaction to Her Self-Harming

TW!! Self-Harm!!

Hi!! I’d love to, also your oc is so cute!! She sounds like an absolute doll. I absolutely love her whole fashion sense, it reminds me of Kanato and his type in women. Hope you like these <33

Word Count: 525

Topics Included: Relationship HC’s, & Reaction to Self-Harm.

Relationship HC’s:

🎀  Shū wouldn’t mind if Kianna dressed up for him.

🎀  In fact he’d be into it.

🎀  She’d be willing to do so if she’s in a good mood.

🎀  Her style reminds him a lot of what Kanato’s into, so he’d be used to Kanato’s off hand comments about it.

🎀  Shū wouldn’t know how he’d feel about it though, considering that he’s with someone who’s Kanato’s idea type. 

🎀  After all, everyone knows that Kanato has a set type, and what it could mean about you to go for that as well. 

🎀  It’s sort of an unsaid thing. 

🎀  Shū finds himself comfortable with her, but to a degree. 

🎀  He’s always still on guard. 

🎀  It’s sort of the price to pay after losing so many people you’ve loved in the past. 

🎀  If Kianna forces him, they’d go on dates. 

🎀  They both like going to the central gardens, it happens to be calming for Shū, while Kianna enjoys the variety of flowers and its aesthetic. 

🎀  Bonus Points if Shū always regularly gets her flowers for their dates. 

🎀  He gets a bouquet of pink roses, and always has a heart shaped card attached to them which is strawberry and cream scented. 

🎀  They definitely take naps together.

🎀  Whenever Kianna has one of her nightmares, Shū cuddles her and cradles her head, patting it and whispering sweet nothings to soothe her. 

🎀  Oddly, they're quite domestic. 

🎀  Realistically, throughout the relationship Shū would be haunted by the memory of Edgar and for being able to move on so fast. 

🎀  The entire ordeal feels off for him, but he does his best to push it down. 

Reaction to Self-Harm:

🎀  This would instantly bring Shū back to Subaru’s borderline suicidal tendencies. 

🎀  I like to think that he’s had to coax Subaru out of harming himself. 

🎀  Like Shū would have so many late night conversations with him, despite his own lingering thoughts. 

🎀  It would sort of feel hypocritical, in a sense, to Shū. 

🎀  So when he sees Kianna on the bathroom floor, with blood tainting the porcelain tiles, alarms go off in his head. 

🎀  He doesn’t want to be the reason that someone else dies. 

🎀  Shū’s already had enough experience with Edgar. 

🎀  So he’d approach it gently. 

🎀  He likes (?) Kianna, but he also has some sort of undetermined feelings to sort out. 

🎀   Shū would take the knife away, and lend an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. 

🎀  Just imagine this boy silently listening to all the troubles, whilst running soothing circles around Kianna’s lower back. 

🎀  In terms of cleaning up, he’d most likely use some of his saliva to seal up the wounds (canon fact that vampire’s saliva heals.) 

🎀  And the rest of the blood, I feel as though Shū would be a bit disgusted, or more so uneasy with swallowing the blood shed from self-harm. 

🎀  It’s just the principal of the situation which rubs him the wrong way. 

🎀  So he’d get some bandages and hope that it’s enough.

Oh and for any stars who like the divider used!! Search: dollete divider (in gifs)

Side Note: This is not my OC!!

[cinnamonconi]

Is this breaking the rules? No cc he IS A real character!

KOU for the character meme~!

Watch me drop all this character lore and creation process in a single ask-

First impression

Since Kousei is my little gremlin, I'm sharing what I had in mind while creating him. You can say it's like a beta version of the final product:

I was actually going to give him a more antagonistic side. He was going to be merciless in duels, always trying to toy with his enemies to have them test new features related to the duel interface.

Like he'd be this secret boss that you encounter on your way to the final boss in the WDC arc, since he was based on the Mad Scientist trope. That being said, he was also going to use some of the duel candidates to improve the Photon Mode for Kaito to use under Faker's orders.

But he became a softie and that's canon now-

Impression now

He's a soft and caring lil guy!! He might look like he's ready to mess with anyone, but he actually loves and cares deeply for the people in his inner circle. Sure, he teases everyone around him, and usually his jokes can throw others off, but it's actually easy to get along with him.

I think that contrast between his looks and how he tends to joke around vs his caring side and willing to put others before himself, makes it easier to mischaracterize him. I think it's easy to miss his soft side.

Favorite moment

The day I started shipping him with Chris.

I made this short comic of Kousei and Chris dueling, and how he picks on V, because Dyson Sphere is so big for no reason at all. You have this massive monster that who knows how hard it is to emulate in the duel interface-

It was that comic and how silly and flirty Kousei was towards Chris that ended up with me shipping those two-

Idea for a story

Oh boy let's not touch this one. I have way too many ideas and AUs that I can't keep up with all of them!!

One of the biggest ones I have rn is the brainrot of Idol AU, where Kousei is a top idol and Chris is a closet fan of his.

IV is also an idol here! Chris and Kousei actually met at IV's dressing room, because Chris would come and pick him up every now and then. However, IV wasn't there at the time and Kousei decided to be silly and give Chris a bit of fanservice in IV's behalf... Only to find later that he's IV's brother.

That's how it all starts-

Unpopular opinion

I should share more lore of him, actually. Like I draw and think about him often, but I don't share my thoughts much. It's the fear of being too cringy about it hasdjkask

Favorite relationship

VKou, of course!! I don't even know where to start and I feel like I could talk about them all day!! But if I could sum this one up in a few words, it'd be that I love the contrast in personalities, but how good it works. The chemistry they have is so good, because it's the differences between them that complement each other. And, on a personal level, they have more in common that what it can be seen on a surface level.

Other relationships I love for him are him and Kaito (I love their friendship. I should write/draw them more often) and him with Gauche and Droite.

When he hangs around Gauche they share a single braincell and it's hilarious, while he's more calm around Droite. You bet those 3 like to go karaoke on friday nights-

Favorite headcanon (actually canon bc he's my gremlin)

His photographic memory has to be one of my favourite things. The fact that this single trait is the reason he gets involved in the story of zexal, having read so many research papers that he can replicate all the data from them.

Only a few know this, as he tries to keep it secret!

[neo-shitty]

hope you dont mind me popping in to your inbox to scream abt whc1 bc you are truly the only person out of my friend circle that has watched it 😭😭 first of all

facts. he can do no wrong.

second of all its been days and i am still processing like this has never happened to me before ?? usually i am a lil :// until the rest of the day when i finish a sad drama but with this im just so heartbroken still. yesterday during a big mental breakdown (unrelated to the drama i am not THAT crazy ok) i realised why it hit me so hard and i think its bc i somehow relate to sieun (anger issues and all /j) and so i somehow projected into his character and so when it all went down with suho i just couldnt deal w it ?? I LEGIT HAD A MINI PANIC ATTACK it felt like it was happening to me 😭😭😭 like he was such comfort for me. he broke the cycle of loneliness and stereotype for sieun and i just really adored each interaction they had. the fact that they would both kill and die for each other makes me bawl my eyes out.

but when it all comes down to it, i understand beomseok, i really do, but i also dont. i dont think ill ever forgive that character, i just cant. i cant imagine how it must have felt for him and i couldnt be able to deal w life either if i was in his shoes, but my brain just cant grasp the lengths he went to hurt people that did nothing but care for him and tried to help him with everything. he's a complex character for sure, one you have to analyze to get, but i dont have it in me to have a single ounce of sympathy after the ending of the drama.

but to think that the parents and the adults were truly at fault here ?? beomseok being abused, sieun abandoned and neglected, suho not really having parents around either (i read somewhere that they are canonically abroad or something?? not too sure), the policemen not taking sieun seriously at first, the teachers seeing the shit happening and not doing anything to stop the bullying... where were everyones parents when all those kids got caught up w the gang? its truly sickening and heartbreaking to think that this truly could be happening anywhere and to anyone.

and it broke me so much bc i could accept beomseok drifting away from them and stuff, but to gang up on suho on his fucking birthday? sieun cooking and decorating with young yi and taking pics for her insta (i strongly believe her and sieuns friendship is SO underrated they were so cute together) and both of them just hid it from everyone to protect suho,, their sunshine ??? the poor boy must have been so confused and lonely on his bday and it makes me :( and then when he saw sieuns cast and went to avenge him ?? I read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.

also i find it funny how i found the drama through a clip on tiktok where jihoon cried at watching the last scene where sieun breaks the window and i was like oh this should be just the right amount of sad for me rn and then i got emotionally damaged. :,)

yeah anyways my fav trope is found family and FUCK all of those who hurt my sunshine bc now im forever heartbroken.

sorry for the rant toffee but it did felt cathartic to write this all out

bar, please don't worry about it. feel free to come back any time you have to yell about it and i'll try to get back to you as soon as i can.

sooho was just too easy to love. we headed into that show blind HAHA we should've known it was too good to be true! i never saw it coming actually.

same !! took me days to get over this too. *hugs* i'm sorry about the mental breakdown, i hope you're feeling a bit better now !! oh the projection must've made the whole thing twice as hard. again, sooho was such a comfort character :( his happy go lucky nature was such a breath of fresh air esp when the themes occasionally got dark. i want that dynamic for me actually (to kill and die for each other, yes). i usually find it corny but it was so well executed here.

oh bumseok :( i think it's valid to simultaneously understand him but at the same time, find what he did unforgivable. i get where he was coming from and how he was just looking for a place to fit in—where he wasn't looked down on. idk how to describe it but when he started misreading the situation (like that whole bit abt sooho not following him on ig but following young yi), i think something in him snapped. he was so fed up with being helpless at home and at his previous school that when it happened a third time, he did everything to get back and lashed out.

I 100% BELIEVE THE ADULTS WERE ABSOLUTE SHITTIEST NEGLIGENT FUCKERS AROUND. like???? leaving a scamming syndicate to be dealt with by high schoolers?????? bumseok's fake ass politician dad??????? sure, sieun's parents were 'present' but emotionally distant, like check on your kids bitches or not have them at all god dAMN. i thought some of the aspects of the bullying were exaggerated bc from where i'm from it never gets that bad but hearing that to an extent, it was truthful about it just left me dumbfounded. how could parents allow things like this to happen under the radar? it's unbelievable and heartbreaking to me.

yeah, i thought bumseok would just join his cool boy squad but he really had to do whatever the fuck he did :D my girl, i know you read my tags and i was vile as fuck towards him but at the time i was just so angry too. also yes! youngyi and sieun's friendship <3 i wish they had more time </3 and honestly, if bumseok didn't do a whole 180, i think the four of them would make such a cute squad. like the way they would protect each other??? hmp :/

'i read something about how suho always fought only in self defence but when he saw sieun hurt he crossed the line and fought with the purpose of hurting somebody only bc his best friend was put in danger and that- that broke me.' i saw that the other day and that broke me to fucking hell i could sell anyone's soul to see them together again (SPECIFICALLY, with the other one being fine and out of comatose yes i would love that for me.

ohhh, i've been meaning to watch that vid of them reacting to whc1 but at the time it didn't have subs. jihoon's acting was so fucking effective like??? the sadness the eyes of that man has can sway me to do anything !! so sorry that you got so much more than just a little sad bout. heading into this drama blind was like bringing a knife to a whole war.

this show made me realize that tragedy could strike any pairing on any show and i wouldn't bat an eye but have the same happen to a found family and then i'm instantly destroyed. THE SHOW ACTUALLY REMINDED ME OF YOUR CHENJI FIC????? FUCK. please do let me know if you ever get around to writing something related to them haha i'm ready to be destroyed.

please do not ever apologize for ranting especially about this show !! i went through this whole phase ALONE last year (watching it after christmas was the biggest mistake, i ended my year DEPRESSED as FUCK) so i'm offering as much help as i can.

[peterparkersnose]

the witch and the spider chapter 4- peter, peter, and peter

tasm!peter x reader

tasm/nwh!peter x reader

NO WAY HOME SPOILERS

After you and your Uncle, Doctor Strange, closed the portal on the statue of liberty life went back to almost normal. Besides the fact that the two other worldly Peter's were trapped in your universe.

*this is probably the farthest thing from anything canon

   *Tony Stark, Black Widow, young Steve Rogers, Vision, Loki are all alive

      *Timeline is completely off for some facts

next chapter linked at the bottom

word count: 3.6k

warnings: mourning, death, recalling tragic events. nwh spoilers!

a/n you guys- 28 PETER!!!

masterlist

read time: 13 mins and 8 seconds

gif credit to @rougesage​

May was dead. There was no doubt about it. Peter most likely felt her heart stop with his heightened senses.

"MJ," you panted, running down the streets of New York. "Y/N, what's wrong?"

"A-Aunt May. She's dead."

"Oh my god."

"Where's Peter?" MJ asked

"That is a good question, I'm on my way over to you right now."

"I was on my way over to Ned's. Meet me there,"

-

You knocked on the apartment door and met MJ.

"Hey," she said, pulling you in for a hug. "I-I've tried calling and texting and he won't answer his phone and-"

"MJ, it's okay." Ned called from the back. You recognized the boy from your brief meetings in the coffee shop.

"We're all doing the best we can," you said, trying to put a smile on his face.

You sat down at the dining table with MJ and Ned trying to find a solution on how to find or contact Peter.

"I hate it, he's all alone out there." MJ sighed, putting her head in her hands. "I wish there was a way to see him right now," Ned said.

An idea sparked in your head. "Well,"

MJ and Ned both looked up at you at the same time.

"Let me try," you said, standing up.

You waved your arms in a circular motion and the sparks started to fly. "S-she's magic?" Ned yelled. MJ shushed him.

"Show me Peter Parker."

The circle opened, and there was Peter. What seemed to be Peter. He turned around and stepped through the portal. His suit- was so different.

"Who the hell are you?" MJ asked. She was right, this wasn't Peter.

"Uh, Peter Parker?"

"You are not Peter Parker," MJ laughed. "M-my magic, I've never had it-" you panicked, looking at your hands. Was this a random guy dressed as Spiderman? I mean, you have seen plenty in the area before. This definitely was not Peter Parker, or your Peter Parker.

"Take it off," MJ demanded. "Excuse me?" the Peter asked. "The mask."

He slipped it over his head, and your heart skipped a beat. That sure as hell was not Peter. His eyes immediately moved to you. "Where am I?" he asked. "Oh god," you said, starting to panic. "My Uncle is going to murder me. I'm dead," you hysterically laughed, pacing the kitchen. So many things were on your mind-

-The multiverse is real. 1000%

-Where the hell is your friend?

-Is your friend okay?

-Who the hell is this?

-Why is this other Peter so fine?

"Hey, calm down." Ned tried to re assure you. You sat down in his kitchen chair trying to collect yourself, waiting for your Uncle to snatch you away in an instant.

"Prove your Spiderman," MJ said, arms crossed.

"Prove I'm Spiderman- what sort of joke is this?" he asked. "Climb up the walls, or something. Prove your Peter. You have an ID?" MJ huffed.

"I don't carry my ID with me while I'm in the suit," he scoffed. "Hey, what's her deal?" he asked, referring to you having a small panic attack in the corner. "Prove your Spiderman and we'll tell you."

He looked at you concerningly. God, why did his eyes have to sparkle like that?

"See?" he asked, climbing casually up the walls and on the ceiling. Ned's Lola entered the room and screamed. She yelled something in Tagalog and Ned tried to calm her down.

"S-she's asking if you can get the spiderwebs up there," Ned stuttered. "Yeah, sure." Peter sighed, wiping off the old webs from his hand. He seemed very confused.

"Her deal?" he asked. "What is it to you?" MJ interrogated this man. "Well, she's setting off my other- sense." he tried to explain. "Oh, the Spidey sense!" Ned smiled. "Yeah, what he said." the other Peter confirmed. "Y/N?" MJ asked, wanting your consent to explain.

Your gaze broke and you looked around the room. "Oh," you sighed. "Avenger, a Witch." you sighed. "You said a Witch?" he asked, eyebrows raised.

"He won't understand," you whispered to yourself. "Understand what?" he asked.

"I'm going to explain this to all of you- and only once." you sighed, trying to dumb down the multiverse theory in your head to explain.

"The world we live in- me, Ned, MJ, our Peter is like world 1. You know how all numbers are different and have different meanings and descriptions? Let's say other Peter is from world 1,439. There are an infinite amount of worlds. Think of one tiny small change, uh, like maybe MJ was a man. There would be another universe where MJ was a man," you tried to explain.

Everybody looked at you still confused.

"Multiverse theory? Anybody?"

They were all still confused.

"Okay, Peter, how old are you?" you asked him. "28, why?" "See, our Peter is only 18. On his universe, their Peter is 28." you explained.

Hmm. Only 8 years older.

"Wait- so in his world there's another Ned?" Ned asked excitingly. "Do you have a best friend?" Ned asked this Peter. "I used to," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, chuckling a bit.

Just then, another whirr came from behind you. It sounded like another portal opening.

"Y/N, what are you doing?" MJ asked. "I-I didn't open this one," you said, praying it wasn't your Uncle.

Another man walked out. "Let me guess, your name is Peter." you immediately asked. "H-how did you know that?" he asked. The two Peter's looked at each other. "Are you-" "Are you?" They both asked each other. "I've noticed some very important people missing from my world," the newest Peter said. "Me too," the other one said. "How did you open that?" you asked the newest Peter. "It just opened up for me, I assumed it's where they all went." he said, confused. "You're the witch- right?" he asked. "He's good," MJ smiled. "How do you know that?" you yelled.

"I've been having glimpses of this universe, glimpses of my enemies. With you."

"And how did that happen?" you asked. He shrugged.

"And how old is this one?" Ned asked. "38," he replied. "Sick," Ned smiled. "So we have 18 Peter, our Peter. Then 28 Peter, then 38 Peter." you dignified. "Where is your Peter?" 28 Peter asked. "We're trying to find him, I think that's accidently how we got you."

"You never explained the witch part," 28 Peter said. "Witch, yeah, you'll figure it out." you sighed.

"Do you know where he could be?" MJ asked the Peters. "What's wrong?" 28 Peter asked. "His Aunt just was murdered," MJ sighed. "May?" both of the Peter's asked in unison. "Yeah," you sighed. "My May, was murdered in front of me." 38 Peter sighed. "I'm so sorry, really." you said, locking eyes and feeling his pain. "Oh, well, my May is fine." 28 Peter said guiltily.

"Does he have a certain place he goes?" 38 Peter asked. "No, I don't think so." Ned said. "Wait," MJ interrupted. "Y/N, can you open a portal to the roof of Midtown?" she asked. "Midtown? Nice," 28 Peter said. "It's been a while," 38 Peter said. "Class of '03." 38 Peter said. "Oh, class of '14" 28 Peter said.

"Portal?" MJ reminded you. You opened a portal with your hands as the Peters watched in amazement. "Did you just-" 28 Peter asked. "Peter!" MJ yelled, rushing through the portal to a sobbing (your) Peter.

She was right. Peter was right where she said he'd be.

You and Ned joined MJ in the hug around Peter. The poor boy sobbed into MJ's sweater.

"So," 38 Peter asked,

"Peter, we have some people for you to meet," MJ said, cupping her hands around his red face. "MJ, now really isn't the best time."

"Peter," you said. "Meet, uh, Peter. And Peter."

The two Peters emerged from behind the roof. "Who the-" "Multiverse," Ned said. "There here to help, get their enemies back to their worlds." you said.

"I don't want to do this anymore," Peter cried, throwing his mask against the ground. "N-not after May. I can't,"

"I lost my May," 38 Peter said. "And my Uncle." "I lost my Gwen- or my MJ," 28 Peter sighed. You could see the sadness in his eyes.  

God, why does his voice make my heart absolutely flutter? Shut up Y/N think straight. This isn't the time.

"But, Peter. We know how it feels. This isn't the time to go hide away. Aunt May wouldn't want you to stop doing what you love."

Peter sniffled as MJ held him close. "Take the night to rest, Pete." you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "W-where am I going to go? My apartment is gone," Peter cried.

"We always have room at Stark towers,"

Tony finally found Peter after searching for him. "M-Mr. Stark," Peter cried. Tony stepped out of his suit and embraced the boy.

"Who the hell is that?" 28 Peter asked, walking up behind you. "Tony Stark, don't you recognize him?" you asked. "No?" 28 Peter asked, confused. "You guys have to have a Tony Stark, avengers? SHEILD?" "Uh, never heard of that." he laughed off. "38 Peter, you have 'avengers'?" 28 Peter asked, quotation 'avengers'. "What's that?" he asked. "Forget about it," you sighed.

-

The rest of the night was rough. Electro was still out there and it was taking everything in Peter not to go out and kill him.

Back at Stark Towers, a lot of confusion was happening amongst the Peters. You had decided on Peter 1, 2, and 3. Peter 1 was from your universe, Peter 2 was 38 Peter, and Peter 3 was 28 Peter (your Peter).

Bedrooms were given to the other Peter's for their time on your earth.

Your Uncle has also found you.

"I know it's not your fault," he sighed, pacing around the meeting room in Stark towers. You sat there with the all the Peters, and Tony. "But how could you all be so careless?"

"Strange, I think you should calm down." Tony sighed. "There is a rip in the system! We have three Peter Parker's here!" Your Uncle yelled. "Y/N, I raised you better than this." he sighed. Peter 1 was almost asleep on the table, and your Uncle yelling woke him up. "What time is it?" he yawned. Tony checked his watch. "3:18" "Hey, cut her some slack. This isn't completely her fault," Tony reminded your uncle. He was fuming now, pacing more vigorously around the room.

"Can't we just send them home?" Tony asked. Your heartbeat sped up a bit. Please no, you thought. Not yet.

"Can we just send them home- Tony don't you think I've thought of that?" he yelled back at him. The two men started arguing and got up on each other's faces.

"Quit it!" you yelled, trying to come between them. They ignored your attempts, and kept fighting. You finally started to get angry at them and tried to use magic to come between them. Your Uncle mindlessly shot you backwards, flying you into Peter 3's chair and having the two of you smash against the wall. You watched your Uncle and Tony as you flew back with wide eyes. Your Uncle immediately recognized what he did and it was too late to stop it. The chair broke on impact to the wall, Peter 3 taking most of the blow. You fell in his lap and his chest took the impact of your head.

Everyone froze in the room. You looked up at Peter 3. His hair had stray bits of drywall in it. He was looking down at you in shock. "A-are you okay?" he asked. You couldn't respond, you were too shocked that you were in his embrace. Everyone ran to help you guys. Peter 3 ruffled his hair back, getting some of the drywall in your hair.

"How is he -not- dead?" Tony asked. "Super spider strength, man." Peter 3 coughed. "Y/N, I-I give my sincerest apologies. To you- also Mr. Parker." Your Uncle said, cowardly staying in the corner of the room.

You could feel his embarrassment radiating off of him. You could see everyone's energy. Tony, Peter 1, and Peter 2 all had the shocked, surprised, and empathetic emotions radiating off of them. You could even see some sparking off of your skin, shock. Peter 3, you couldn't get a scent. Nothing from him. Now that you think of it, you haven't ever gotten an energy feeling from him. Either this poor man was dead inside, or he was unreadable. You had never come across anybody unreadable before. Hell, you were one of the most powerful witches in the universe. The only other occurrence you know of this happening was with your Uncle. He could read everyone just like you, except Christine. He could never read Christine, and it was one of the reasons of why he loved her. The thought lingered in the back of your head. Your Uncle loved Christine. He couldn't see her aura.

You retired to the showers after all of the commotion. You wanted to get the day's grime and the drywall off of you. The hot shower felt good against your skin.

You were hungry, after all you haven't eaten since you saw MJ at the coffee shop when it was still light outside. You wrapped your hair up in a towel. You put on your favorite sweatshirt and the Spiderman pajama pants Peter had gotten you as a joke for Christmas the previous year. You expected to find the common area abandoned, after all it was four am. The lights were dimmed as you snuck out of your room. You tried to keep the noise of your feet against the cold metal floor as silent as possible.

You went to the kitchen and tried to find something suitable. An unopened bag of Chex Mix and a red Gatorade were perfect. You walked past the sitting room quietly and began to go up the stairs, but someone from behind you spoke.

"Whatcha doing?"

Shit.

You turned around pissed off, Tony had probably just caught you. But to your surprise, Peter 3 was sitting on the couch reading a book. Your whole demeanor changed.

"You caught me," you laughed awkwardly.

"Nice pants," he chuckled. You realized that you were basically wearing pants printed with images of him on it. Your face turned bright red. "Peter- my Peter thinks he's funny. Christmas gift," you said, trying to make an excuse for yourself. "Nah, I think it's cool. I might have to get some when I go back home."

"What are you doing up?" he asked you. You had already started to come down the stairs, making your way to the couch. You were internally screaming.

"I just got out of the shower, I was hungry." you said, referring to the towel on your head. You swiftly took it off, brushing your hair out with your hands. It still didn't look great, but Peter 3 thought it was cute. You tossed the towel onto a nearby chair. "What are you doing up?" you replied to him, sitting down next to him on the couch.

"I couldn't sleep. Being in a new universe isn't the easiest to adjust to,"

"Yeah, that's kind of my bad." you sighed. "I mean, new adventures. We're here to help." he smiled. He was trying to make you feel better about your mistake, which made you feel so sweet.

You took your finger and pulled up the book he was reading. "Constructions on robotic quantic equations?" you asked. "It's actually very interesting. Mr. Stark has some nice books around here." "Yeah, he has a lot of nice things around here."

Peter looked at you in confusion. "Oh- I mean, I live here." "You live here?" "Yeah, I'm apart of those Avengers I mentioned earlier," "Oh yes, explain that to me." "So basically, we all have these powers. I hate calling us superhero's because it's so cliché, but it's like that. Tony's Iron Man, we have Captain America, Black Widow, Hulk, Thor-" "Thor as in Norse Mythology?" "Yup." "So your telling me- Thor is real?" You shook your head yes. "And they all live here? I'm in the same building as a god?" "No, well, some do. I live here, my Peter has been here more often. Bucky, Wanda, and I live here full time. The rest come and go when there working."

Peter looked at you, fascinated. "That is so interesting- my world has nothing like that."

"Tell me about your world- how is it?" you asked.

"I mean, I don't know. I haven't seen any big differences- minus the Avengers." "Hmm. What about your life? You do anything else besides being Spiderman?" you asked. "I mean, I take photos as a side gig. You don't get payed to be Spiderman. I-I hate to admit it but I still live with my Aunt." "No shame in living with your Aunt. I was raised by my Uncle, so I know how it is." "Oh no way, me too. Aunt May and Uncle Ben took care of me after my parents, uh, you know. Died." he sighed. "I'm sorry," you said, looking down.

"My mom got rid of me the first chance she could. Dad's a dead alien. Raised by my over achieving magician Uncle." you chuckled. "Funny, alien dad." "No, I'm serious." "Y-your serious your half alien?" "Where did you think I got my powers?" you asked. "I dunno, struck by lightning, bit by a-" "Spider." you said. "Yep. OSCORP's finest." "Oscorp?" "Oh you don't have one, do you?" "Never heard of it." "Hmm."

"But yeah. I'm a pretty boring dude." "Minus the fact your a superhero," "Just a normal 28 year old guy. Who wears spandex and fights crime on the side."

28? Damn I forgot how much older he was.

"Your 28?" you asked again, making sure you were correct. "Yeah,"

"Oh cool. I'm 20."

"You go to college?" he asked. "Nah, Tony's got me covered. I'll retire one day, but I'm in my prime right now," you laughed. Prime? Why do you have to be so awkward. God Y/N get it together.

"I'm assuming you went to college?" "Yeah, Physics major. Graduated MIT in 2018." "Impressive."

"Yeah, I was going to try to find a college in England so I could go with Gwen but-"

Gwen.

"She died." he said, pursing his lips together. You put your hand on his bicep in comfort, but was shocked at how large it was. Not the time, Y/N.

"I'm sorry."

"You have anybody?" he asked. That made your heart skip a beat. "Me? No, not really. I always imagined retiring and having a family but, not the right time."

"I'm really sorry about Gwen. I can see how much she meant to you." "Thanks."

You were trying so hard to get a read on his aura. You were getting absolutely nothing. "What are you doing? Your heart is beating really fast." he said. Shit. "I'm trying to read your aura." "My aura?" "Yeah, it's a thing with my magic. I can read anybody's aura. Times Square is just a swarm of emotions and colors. But for you- absolutely nothing." "Odd," "My Uncle can do the same. He can read anybody, but his ex-girlfriend. He couldn't get anything out of her." you sighed.

Silence came between you two. You tried to think of something to talk about, you never wanted this conversation to end.

"Are you okay? I mean after today, that could have easily broken someone's back," you said. Heh, breaking backs. Grow up, you reminded yourself, pushing the dirty thought to the back of your head.

"I mean, super strength has its perks," he smiled. Oh ma'am you thought to yourself. He had such a nice smile. "Hey?" he asked, directing your attention back to him. "You were spacing," he chuckled. "Oh- that's my bad. Witch things," you lied, awkwardly laughing. "You okay?" he asked. "You hit my chest kind of hard," "Yeah, uh I'm fine. I just repair myself anyways."

"You can do that? Sick," "Molecular reparation is just another trait from my dad." "I've never met a half-alien." "I'm honored to be your first," "What else can you do? If you want to talk about it uh-" "No, it's fine. As I said auras and repairing, levitation, occasional mind reading." "Mind reading?" "I have to really focus. Drains me, sometimes for days." "Oh," "Then, the spells, alternate universes, oh- I won't die. Well, no I can die. Just naturally I will age until someone or something kills me."

"That's terrifying." Peter said in awe. "Yeah, my dad was I think, like 600 years old? Something around there when he was killed."

The sun began to rise. You could see Steve and Sam making their laps around the training center.

"I didn't realize it's been so long," you yawned. "Steve and Sam are already up,"

"How long have you been up?" Peter asked. "23 hours," "And you fought for how many of those?" "8."

"Come on Y/N. Let's get you to bed."

Peter walked you to your bedroom. "This is me," you said. You reminded yourself of those cheesy romance movies where the guy drops off the girl at her apartment. She always says 'This is me,'

"I'm down the hall a few doors, if you ever need anything. I'm always up for a good conversation again." Peter smiled. Your heart absolutely melted. "Good night Y/N," he said as walking down the hallway.

"I'm in love with Peter Parker." you sighed, flopping down on your bed talking to yourself. "Holy shit. I'm in love. With Peter. Parker."

I really hope he doesn't have super hearing.

Chapter 5

[ackerfics]

congrats on 600!! and, Clove with eren🤧

wrestle me free from the war — eren jaeger

— eren jaeger x female reader (canonverse)

— prompt: clove; i have loved you and you have not known it.

— warnings: angst (you asked for it and i shall deliver), typical canon violence, mentions of blood, kids being little shits, spoilers to those who haven't watched season 4

— summary: love came in the form of you—eren was just unaware of how deeply you become rooted in his heart because of your first encounter with him, a sacred meeting set by many timelines and lifetimes.

— word count: 11.6k (i don't regret it bc words just fly through the keyboard jndjww)

— notes: awww, thank you for requesting and for those words, anon uwu just to let you guys know, i cried while writing this. that's enough for you to know how this pained me hhhhhh btw, i took inspiration from fluerie's hurts like hell and miia's dynasty while writing, i keep repeating those songs bc they hurt so much and i love the atmosphere it created in my room. ooh, and there will be references of the song of achilles here owo happy reading, everyone !! (to those who wanted soft eren, have this treat <3)

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3

this is part of my 600 milestone event !!

Love came in the form of a five-year-old holding a plate of decadent biscuits in front of the Jaegers’ open doorway.

“Good morning!” Almost like a sprite from one of those expensive fairy tales from the bookstore up ahead, the brightest chime illuminated the wood interior of the Jaeger household. It was a mystery, all in itself, to have someone this cheery early in the morning. “Hello, Mrs. Jaeger. Is Doctor Jaeger around?” His father? What would this pixie want with his father? Eren tried making a sneak peek at the person in front of their door but his mother blocked the view, only for the boy of five to huff a troubled frown. “Oh.” The tone of the person’s (more like a kid his age) voice quietened in disappointment. “Well, this gift extends to you, too, Mrs. Jaeger. This is a ‘thank you’ gift to Doctor Jaeger for curing Mother of her sickness. I hope you enjoy them!”

“Aw, how sweet.” This caught Eren’s attention. His mother never cooed at anyone, except for him obviously. So, he craned his entire body to get a glimpse of the figure at their door. The reason why he never stood up from his seat at the dining table to greet the sprite was that he didn’t want them to have the impression that he was excited to meet someone new. Eren was a boy of very few friends (read: none at all) and he was contented with the people he acknowledged as his inner circle (mainly his family). His stream of thoughts was interrupted when his mother chuckled. “I’m sure we’ll enjoy this, little [Name].” Ah, a name. It sounds pretty to Eren’s ears. That fact prompted him to lean even further on the dining table—just to give him the satisfaction that he saw a sprite from the woods in the outskirts of Wall Maria. “Ooh, they look so adorable, too! Did you make this yourself, darling?”

“Yes, I did, Mrs. Jaeger. I made some animal-shaped ones because Mother told me you have a kid my age. I want the biscuits to be as cute as possible for them as well!”

“Just your luck because he’s here right now. Eren! Someone’s here to meet you.”

Spring blew in every direction the moment his mother shifted her body to show the fairy in the doorway. Just like the mythological creature plaguing Eren’s mind, the daintiest little girl stood on the other side of the door. An air of serenity came from her, even if she’s beaming a radiant grin when his teal irises met hers. (Eren had to narrow his eyes at the brightness of her countenance.) Eren never saw her while he was playing around the neighborhood but he always heard the story of the pretty girl in their part of town—of the sheltered daughter of Shiganshina’s artiste that was a subject of most of her paintings. The dripping sand that ticked away the seconds came to an abrupt stop, the stagnant flow of time surrounding the little boy of brown hair as he became curious at the girl who reminded him of something. Silver light spilled from the girl’s countenance, shrouding Eren in a cool pool of a midnight blue lake filled with endless specks of stars. He came to know that he sometimes saw glimpses of her from an opened window a few houses down the street, a phantom of a given light that flickered like a tiny wisp. It was only this time that he saw her in her full glory.

“Hello, Eren! My name is [Name], it’s so nice to meet you!” Even your waves looked like someone a mystical creature could do.

Eren pursed his lips, looking away from you with a faint tint of blush covering the apples of his cheeks. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“Let’s play tomorrow, okay?”

The boy glanced at his mother, who was sporting an endeared expression. Guess there was no other choice. “Of course, what do you want to play?” By now, he was slowly standing up to make his way to the opened doorway, eyes still trained on the wood paneling of their house’s floor. Eren stood in front of the girl named [Name] yet he never met her gaze again for fear of getting sucked in an illusion of a moonlit spring night, with the breeze carrying the scent of blossoms. “I have a few toys in my room that we can play with.”

“That sounds perfect, Eren! I’ll bring my dolls over, too. They were tailored by Mother so I’m excited to show them to you. Their dresses are all so beautiful and I hope you like them!”

Eren never played with anything close to dolls but he was willing to try. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Your smile was the only reply.

Love came in the form of you—Eren was just unaware of how deeply you become rooted in his heart because of that encounter, a sacred meeting set by many timelines and lifetimes.

“You’re so reckless, you know that, right?”

Eren doesn’t know how such a pretty yet fragile being could exist in his life.

Your fingers fretted over his bruised face, touch akin to the snowflakes dripping from the timberwolf gray sky during winter. A lock of your hair fell from the makeshift wildflower hairclip that Mikasa gave you a month before, prompting you to blow it away from your face before Eren can reach out to tuck it behind your ear. Your beautiful eyes were narrowed in a little glare that didn’t scare him in the slightest as you dabbed his skin with a damp cloth. For some reason, your anger never toppled Eren from his pedestal, even finding it endearing sometimes. However, what he did earlier was something he was slightly ashamed of. There’s no reason for him to create a commotion in the marketplace. But when the subject of some kids’ conversation involved you—Eren’s mind instantly went blank. Especially if the remarks included how you look like an untouched maiden despite you being ten years old. Eren didn’t hesitate running headfirst into the teenagers speaking ill of you—Mikasa in tow and Armin screaming that it’s not worth it, guys, [Name] won’t like this!

The moment the fight was discovered by the Garrison soldiers stationed in Shiganshina’s walls, all of them dispersed in various directions. He doesn’t even remember why he found himself in front of your house, his two friends nowhere in sight. Maybe he ran as if he’s seeking his lifeline—which is the person who opened the door, hands gripping the doorknob and eyes widening at his battered state. You instantly ushered him inside, pressing your hands on his shoulders to let him settle in the living room. As you rummaged for a clean towel to clean his wounds, Eren was mulling over as to why he chose you to be the one tending his injuries. His mother was always the one who did it. So, why did he automatically think of you while running from the Garrison? His questions became unanswered—the only clues he had were the fast pace of his heart and the slight heat in his cheeks when you finally entered the same room as him, scowl fixed on your face.

Now, he could only stay silent as he gazed at your adorable visage with an unyielding stare.

Eren scoffed, arms crossed on his chest and eyes scouring the pictures displayed on the walls opposite him. “I’m not being reckless.”

There’s a picture of you with your mother, a smile reaching your eyes in crinkles. Then, a portrait of you stood beside it, displayed on a wooden easel. The colors were a vivid blend of oranges, pinks, and reds, with your giggling face as the subject. It was one of the most beautiful paintings Eren saw in his life, mostly because you were depicted as a little sprite from the woodlands—flowers decorating your hair and life sprouting from your fingertips at each twinkling laugh. You never smiled like that these days. His iridescent green irises searched for you, comparing the frown on your face at the moment to the beauteous grin you donned in the picture and the painting. Right when he opens his mouth to remark how you should smile more often, you stood up from your seat with your hands patting your lap.

“Not reckless?” you asked him, mimicking his position. This time, you got the upper hand for standing tall on your feet. “Eren,” you said his name with an exasperated sigh, “fights aren’t the only solution to an argument. I don’t know the full story but it seems like you got yourself into something pointless this time. Was Armin getting picked on again?” At the purse of his lips, you knew the answer. “See? What’s the reason?” Thinking that probably you’re going off too strong and haughty, you released the tension on your shoulders and softened your glare. “I’m sorry for being angry but you can always tell me, ‘Ren.”

The nickname made his heart jump. He looked away from you with faintly reddened cheeks yet his face was scrunched in distaste. “They were talking about you.”

This wasn’t what you expected. You blinked before tilting your head in confusion. “Me?” Eren remained silent so you take the chance to continue your inquiries. “Why would you go into a fight for something that simple? I can take what they say—I don’t put them to heart, Eren.”

Eren clenched his fists. “Because,” he gritted out, “they were speaking something insulting about you!” There were flecks of gold inside lining his iris, blazing with the fervent determination to keep others from sullying your name. You’re supposed to be one of the kindest people he knew and teenagers have no right to talk about you like you’re a prospective bride ready to bear children. It disgusted him—the teenage boys’ words. And as Eren looked at you with those eyes that seem to glow like the morning star, he hoped you understand where he’s coming from. “I don’t want them to speak things like that about you! You shouldn’t be labeled things that can hinder you from doing more. Why are you just letting them run you over like that?”

“I get your point, Eren,” you murmured. “But why did you use violence? Mikasa could’ve easily told them off.”

“Because,” the boy of emeralds trailed off, never knowing the answer.

Maybe it had something to do with how you smiled as Armin relayed what he read, with you exclaiming that you want to venture with the blond to see the sights beyond the walls. Or it could be because it has become your goal—to walk along the tranquil sea-green waters that span a thousandfold with only the horizon further ahead. For Eren, you are more than just a potential bride for the young men loitering around Shiganshina. You carry an entire map of stars inside your heart, your brilliant irises showing each constellation so vividly to him that he can’t help but prove to everyone that you shouldn’t be shackled in the future. You carved something in the purest of diamonds—a dream that’s etched upon the seasons, bursting through the seams like an unstoppable force. And he admires you because of that. You created this tune inside of him that awakened a foreign feeling that he never felt with anyone. Eren has no idea why you make him feel this way, why he wants to—

“… Protect you.”

Your breath hitched at the intensity of Eren’s stare. The entire world silenced as you saw your reflection in his eyes, coloring you in the most beautiful shade of green. “What?” You didn’t quite catch what he said except for those two words that might have impacted you more than you realized. You were still a kid that time—having not known the feeling of someone caring for you other than your mother.

“I want to protect you, that’s why,” Eren announced. “I’m using my strength for that.”

“I can stand up for myself, you know.”

“I still won’t stop.” He paused. “… Mainly because Mikasa will protect you if I do it half-assed. I only want myself to that to you—not anyone else.”

There was no use fighting Eren. Once his mind is set on something, there was no doubt that he’ll push through what he thinks is right. In your eyes, there was a cape encasing him, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. There was no situation calling for him to become a hero but with how brazen he is, he was bound for something greater than anybody inside the Walls. You let him be, letting him have the chance to hover around you, which you instantly regretted because he was everywhere. It was comical at first but now, it was starting to irk you.

Every time you were only buying vegetables in the marketplace, a chill ran down your spine. You were certain someone was peeking through the entrance of the alleyway, three pairs of different colored eyes training on you. That didn’t stop there. It seemed as though whenever you were struggling with anything while going home, Eren materialized in front of you. His eyes weren’t on you but the surroundings; as if the windows of the houses in your neighborhood morphed into the boys constantly shouting confessions at you. You wanted it to stop and you had no idea how to carefully tell Eren it was giving you nightmares (mainly his blank green eyes that swam inside your soul, peeking through the alleyway).

However, you didn’t expect the absence to last two years.

There were so many things Eren hated in their caged world.

Lousy soldiers who have no will to fight, choosing to wallow in endless mugs of beer rather than to stay vigilant in guarding the walls. Bullies who were always picking on the weakest people just to prove to others that they’re one step ahead of everyone. Remarks that undermine his determination in fulfilling his dream of stepping out in the world—bringing humanity closer to freedom. People who are content with staying inside the glass-like protection of the walls. After the catastrophic fall of Wall Maria, Eren’s most recent object of rage was once believed to never enter the walls perfectly crafted by the gods. Who knew that the century-old holy grail separating humanity from their demise could break like that under the camaraderie of two Titans that no one had a clue of?

Just like that, life inside the walls was reduced because of those humanoid creatures which deserved to rot in the deepest circles of Hell. As the next two years trickled down the hourglass, Eren carried the carnage brought by the terror that is Shiganshina’s pandemonium and let it fester inside his chest—spreading throughout the crevices of his body until there was nothing but an inferno controlling his actions. It was the least he could do after arguing with his mother on that fateful day, after leaving her behind to be eaten by that ghastly smiling beast. It was the closest form of punishment he bestowed on himself for being a reckless idiot who wore heartfelt emotions pretty close to his sleeves. Letting himself be drizzled by the remains of his mother was one of his many regrets. The next one he had on his list took the form of a gentle demeanor under the guise of a half-hearted glare—of a thousand fluttering butterflies in a meadow of wildflowers, all fueled by the presence of the one person Eren blatantly vowed to protect. A piercing blade stabbed his heart at his mistake of doing the exact opposite.

You were gone when Shiganshina fell. Gone in a sense that Eren couldn’t find you anymore. The last time he saw you was when you offered him and Mikasa snacks to accompany them in their task of gathering firewood. You said your mother called for you to help her with her newest masterpiece, a request from one of the nobles in the Inner Walls. There was a foreboding thought in Eren’s mind to tell you to be careful but what was there to be careful about when all you had to do was walk back to your house? After the rain of blood and the onslaught of screams around his home, Eren had no time to search for you. Still, in shock of seeing his mother eaten alive by a Titan, he, alongside Mikasa and Armin, continued to live for a year as tillers of farmland to compensate for the lack of resources in Wall Rose now that the survivors were pushed back to their territory.

Then, the first dream of you came.

At least from the looks of it, he assumed it was you.

There was a girl who shared the same features as you, only older in this new nightmare of his. Her beauty was that of the silver rays of moonlight, which was why he figured it was you because the whole time Eren had been with you for five years—you were a dormant daughter of the moon for him. It was always the same thing—his dream that recurred for an entire year.

It started with this girl hugging him, his collarbones catching the star-like tears hitting his skin. He felt how warm she felt—how he wanted to bury himself into her until there was only his name etched on the chambers of her chest. The scent of wildflowers clung onto her, ensnaring him in a trance as he nuzzled his face onto her hair. Oh, her hair was longer from what he remembered but they still felt like yours—soft as the petals of the wildflower hairclip Mikasa gave you. Then, they were a series of painting-like scenarios flashing by his head—the girl laughing in front of a bonfire, the girl being lifted by him to plant a gentle hand on his blazing skin, the girl pleading for him to stay with her and his found family. All of them made his heart clench painfully, which wasn’t what he expected because all of these featured him as well. The reels shifted into an image of a burning city, the girl a young woman now. She was staring into him with disappointment swirling in her eyes, her irises reflecting the tangerine of the flames down below. Eren felt bile rise inside his throat, shame causing the butterflies to shrivel their wings until they become caterpillars again. All he remembered was the sensation of her intense glare as she mouthed words that shook his entire being, slapping the hand that was enclosed around her wrist.

What happened next in the dream always woke him up in cold sweat.

It was the young woman lying on a lake of her own blood. The most perfect shade of red adorned her body, her once vibrant eyes staring glassily on the ceiling.

Eren refused to believe that was you. So, every chance he got, he asked around the Garrison soldiers keeping watch over them for your name, in hopes that maybe you boarded the last ship without them knowing. Mikasa accompanied him while Armin waited for their return in their little home inside the barn. The two of them described you in detail but none of the Garrison knew about you or saw you amongst the survivors. There was nothing they could do but accept that maybe you passed away alongside most of the population of Wall Maria. There was no word exchanged as the three of them mulled over that speculation, the hoots of the night fauna filling in the gaps of the silence dedicated to the possibility of you as a rotting corpse somewhere around Maria’s territory.

“Do you think this is any place for a princess like you?!” Shadis basically spat the word. “What’s your name, you piece of shit?”

“[Name] [Last Name], Sir!”

The syllables jolted him into the rapids of reality.

There you were. So fucking beautiful with your tiny fist placed on top of your chest, eyes blazing with pretend determination that convinced the Commandant. A vibrant teal lake attempted to capture you, hoping that you’d drown in its waters after compelling you to glance at him with songs crafted by sirens. Just a few feet away from him, both Mikasa and Armin stared with slacked jaws at you. You were taller, having grown a few inches since you were ten years old. But, a single thought resonated through the trio’s head—the traces of beauty and serenity you carried from back in the days pulsated, even more, catching the attention of some of the members of the Training Corps. You were a flower in this field and all Eren could do was admire you from afar.

“Mikasa? Armin?” A tentative voice called out to the aforementioned people.

A tender whisper of your name came out of the black-haired girl’s lips, eyes watery as her eyes trailed over your figure that afternoon after an entire morning of basking under the heat of the sun. Mikasa placed a hand on her mouth to prevent her silent sobs before running over to you and enveloping you in the tightest hug she ever gave someone. Your laughs were like music to her ears while wrapping your arms around her torso. You felt her face pressing against the tresses of your hair, looking over at her shoulder to beckon the blond closer to join the hug. Soon enough, the three of you smiled through rivers of tears cascading through your cheeks—the little family finally reunited after two years of thinking you were buried under the earth. People were staring at the three of you as if all of you were a spectacle ready to be criticized, but you all hardly care.

You pulled away to look at two of your best friends in the eyes. “I can’t believe I’m seeing the two of you right now! I only caught Armin’s name earlier so I hoped that maybe everything is real—that you three are here.”

Mikasa stared at the accessory clipping your hair away from your face. “The flower is gone.”

You chuckled, your fingers brushing over the sentimental treasure Mikasa gave you. “The flower wilted, Mika, I’m so sorry for ruining it.”

She only shook her head with a slight smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll pick up another one to put it there.”

“It’s so good to see you, [Name].” Oh, Armin—ever the soft-spoken boy who always shouted words of reason whenever one of you did something reckless. You terribly miss him so, your nostalgia showing in the image of your smile. The smile you gave him was returned and it was the exact thing in your memories. “We thought you were … gone.” His face shifted until his gaze was on the floor, blue eyes clouding over as if a storm was brewing inside his brilliant mind. “You disappeared after the Fall so we assumed that you were nowhere to be found since the Garrison never had your name in their record of survivors.” Mikasa solemnly nodded beside him.”

“I’m sorry,” you quietly told them, hands fidgeting with the fabric of your button-down shirt. “A kind woman took me in after Mother told me to run. She was just visiting Shiganshina that day so she gave me a temporary home in Trost, her hometown. When I told her I wanted to go into the Training Corps to fulfill something, she let me.”

“Well, we’re glad that you’re now here with us.”

A wistful smile pulled on your lips. “Me, too.”

“Someone’s ecstatic to meet you again, though,” Armin laughed, nudging you lightly with his elbow.

When your eyes flickered around the Mess Hall for any sign of the brown-haired boy, Mikasa knowingly smiled. “He’s outside looking for you.”

“Thank you, Mikasa, Armin,” you breathed, walking backward to give them a promise. “We’ll catch up later!” They waved at you with the same enthusiasm until the paint of the golden hour touched your skin. The girl who was punished to some run laps was still circling the field, gaining some of the trainees’ attention in the porch of the Mess Hall. You surveyed the area for him but his shaggy brown hair wasn’t among the heads of the onlookers taking pity on the girl named Sasha Braus. You made your way to the field, hoping that a cloud took you high enough to search for the boy who swore as your knight. “Eren, where are you?” you muttered under your breath, hands wringing the sleeves of your shirt in a nervous tick. You don’t even know how to act around the boy you saw as everyone’s hero. The small patch of grass on the dirt became interesting to you as you tried steeling yourself for your reunion with your childhood friend. “Why am I getting nervous? It’s not like he’ll see me differently or his personality changed.”

“[Name]?”

Eren was once again searching for you after the introductions because you simply vanished like the mystical being that you are. There was no way that you would immediately go to the Mess Hall. (You did.) Eren knew you like you were shining in his memories—you would find someplace cool after surrounding yourself with that many people, letting nature do its job of soothing you to the point of napping. (You did find someplace cool, and that is the Mess Hall because they were about to serve lunch at that point—you were hungry.) It was safe to say that the moment Eren entered the Mess Hall to get his fill of lunch, was when you were taking your well-deserved nap near the lake. Your paths never crossed the entire afternoon. But at this moment, maybe Fate wove a tapestry featuring his reunion with his anchor.

“Eren,” came your soft call.

“… You look different.” He inwardly cringed at the awkwardness. He tried clearing his throat to dispel any signs of it.

“And you still look the same, ‘Ren,” you chimed, fingers fidgeting with each other yet your head was angled to meet his gaze. “Still the reckless boy who wanted to protect me all those years. It’s great seeing you again.”

A foreign tugging on Eren’s heartstrings echoed throughout his chest, his heart clenching until he placed a palm on his pounding skin. There was a sense of nostalgia surrounding the ministrations occurring inside his ribcage, having missed the sensation of you causing the tremors of a rapid heartbeat. Ever since he was five years old, waiting for his mother to finally move out of the doorway to see you; he was already under the effects of the intense emotions blanketing his being whenever you’re in the painting. It couldn’t be helped that he was curious of the unknown feeling, having asked his mother to identify the supposed sickness he had around you. Carla only smiled in that all-knowing countenance of hers, always one step ahead of Eren’s thinking. She patted his head and told him that all in due time, he’ll figure it out on his own; but for now, he should just enjoy the throes of innocence. But he still didn’t reach the age of wisdom’s peak to fully comprehend other emotions not associated with philia and storge. Twelve years old was still a child in people’s eyes—a child thrown into a grapple for humanity’s survival. The palm on his chest pressed even further, the walls of his heart pushing onto his hand, his gaze thoughtful as his gaze never lifted from the butterfly hovering over the patch of grass in the field.

Shaking his head, he brushed off any moment of being lost in your presence before he regarded you with cool teal eyes, a shy smile making its way on his lips. “I could say the same thing to you.”

Everything feels like home now that you’re here.

“Why is she giving that prissy bastard the time of the day?” Eren grumbled, glare never leaving the pair he was cursing in his head.

Armin halted from looking around the bustling district of Trost, his small smile being replaced with a confused frown. “What are you talking about, Eren?” Even Mikasa who was walking a few ways behind them hastened her pace to listen in on the conversation. However, Eren didn’t answer the question and instead continued glowering at the trainees in front of them. Still with confusion, Armin followed his friend’s gaze and was met with Jean talking to you, the latter’s face looking as if he wanted to escape the situation. That wasn’t an unusual occurrence for Armin and Mikasa, who gave the blond a wary glance, both of them concerned that the third of their little trio might lash out in the streets of Trost. “Eren, you don’t have to be cross at them talking to each other. [Name]’s foster mother is friends with Jean’s mom so they’re bound to exchange some pleasantries while living here in Trost.”

Eren’s face curled in disgust at the prospect of you interacting with Jean during your stay in Wall Rose for two years. He watched as you appeared to be scolding Jean for something along the lines of visiting his mother since they’re in his hometown while the taller boy only brushed away your nagging with blatant annoyance. No one expected you to have a connection with someone who showed the same hot-headedness as Eren but when the ash-brown-haired boy called for you to be his partner in hand-to-hand combat training last year, Eren was left in a standstill. He was livid to this day. Of all people, why could it be that long-faced bastard always running his mouth in front of Eren? He didn’t notice that he had become quiet in the current conversation until Mikasa leaned her head forward with sharp eyes.

“Eren,” Mikasa called out. “Are you perhaps … jealous?”

“Huh—jealous?! W-What—Where did you get that idea from?!” Eren sputtered, spine stiffening at the abrupt exposure to the spotlight. “I’m not! Why would I be jealous in the first place?!” His ears were red.

Mikasa didn’t believe him, staying silent until something caught her eye at one of the stalls lining up the street. Without a word, she walked faster to pull you away from Jean without any warning and brought you to a stall filled with flowers. The two of you were excitedly picking the blossoms displayed in the small cart while the trail of trainees continued to the path of the headquarters. The black-haired girl was holding a small stem of blue flowers to your hairclip before telling the florist she’ll be taking a small bouquet of what she chose. Two pairs of eyes watched you two as Mikasa carefully pinned the flowers through your hairclip, recreating the accessory she customized back in the day.

Eren huffed in slight envy that Mikasa could easily latch onto you at any time of the day. He rolled his eyes at the scene of you tucking a daisy behind Mikasa’s ear. “They’ll wilt eventually, you know. What’s so special about a bunch of flowers anyway?” He opted on staring down the children playing hopscotch down the road. “Their beauty only lasts a couple of days,” then, Eren’s voice lowered in a murmur so that Armin wouldn’t hear it, “why is she so happy with that?” He glanced at you discreetly, allowing himself to loosen up the tenseness clumping his shoulders at the sight of your breathtaking smile. Though it wasn’t directed at him, it’s still heavenly either way. Please look at me. Let me know that you think of me as well. As if she heard the song his heart created to make you acknowledge him, you turned your head mid-laugh and found emeralds reflecting your figure. Eren’s heart raced when your lips lifted in the softest smile, eyes crinkled with an emotion that he was sure only lovers wear for the precious holders of their hearts.

Once again, Eren’s chest clenched in that intimate aching tied to his soul and you were the reason behind it.

The sunset painting the lands of the Walls a beautiful shade of gold landed its pigments on two figures, creating silhouettes that were always mistaken as lovers wherever the stars told them to. The world is only their stage, them being the ones fulfilling the protagonists in this melodrama called Hell.

The Survey Corps Headquarters were far behind you and Eren. Right after dinner, he pulled you out of the Mess Hall with a set destination in his mind. His steps were purposeful, echoing across the stone walls of the castle until his boots hit the dirt of the training field. He kept his voice to himself, face forward, letting you wallow in a state of confusion behind him. Even if his face showed distress through the furrowed eyebrows and tight jaw, his grip around your hand felt like an embrace. He faintly heard you ask where he’s taking you but he simply kept quiet about it. It was a grueling day for him—with all the experiments Hange poured onto his shoulders and the constant jabs of Levi and his squad whenever he malfunctioned in the secluded plain where he’s doing all the work. He needed an escape, what better way to enjoy that with you by his side? While grumbling to himself about dusting another room one afternoon before you and the other cadets appeared in the Headquarters, Eren stumbled upon a meadow filled with wildflowers, like the one the four of them always played in—all that was missing was the tree.

Upon reaching the meadow, Eren heard your questions dying down. He turned around to find you being entranced by the meadow. He couldn’t help but feel proud of himself for showing the view to you. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go.” He pulled you in the middle of a huge lake of wildflowers and lie down on the soft mattress of blossoms, a satisfied sigh escaping his grinning lips. Eren looked up at you from his comfortable position. “Hey, don’t just stand there, join me.”

You playfully rolled your eyes. “Okay, okay. Don’t mind if I do.” You stared at the darkening sky, the night making her way to settle a temporary peace over the lands; her daughter, the moon, was slowly becoming brighter as her twinkling sisters accompanied her in lighting up their closed world. Eren slowly turned his head to stare at you instead. Whenever the moon hits you with her beautiful moon rays, you always looked even more ethereal—illuminating under the light of the silver luminary. He observed how you closed your eyes, letting the gentle night breeze wash over your figure. The small curve of your lips, the eyelashes protecting your irises, the creaseless serene expression stitched upon your face—all of you continued to shine like gems in Eren’s eyes. “It’s nights like these that make me think,” when you started to speak, Eren’s cheeks colored a shade of rose, though he didn’t look away from you, “maybe everything’s alright in the world. Just you and me enjoying peace in innocence—I want to stay like this forever.”

“Me, too,” Eren confessed, not having control over his mouth. It seemed like his thoughts were always spilled when you’re around. “I want this night to be eternal and never-ending—just the two of us under the moonlight.” You hum in tranquility, inhaling the scent of the flowers brushing over your skin. Something churned inside Eren’s stomach, traveling to his mind telling him to be close to you. He scooted a little to close the gap, his breath hitting the side of your face. Without thinking about it, he reached out and tenderly ran his fingers on your cheek. Green irises met yours and the stars sighed in a chorus of innocent pleasure. “Promise me to be alive in the 57th expedition tomorrow. I’m not there to keep an eye on you but I want you to know that I … care for you so much to have you die on me.” Something is weighing in his mind before he shook his head. “… I have something to tell you once we reach the ocean.”

A promise.

You shifted your body until you’re face-to-face with the little soldier boy who always looked at you differently from the others. A pretty smile of understanding was directed at that soldier boy you hold dear in your heart. Your hand wrapped around his wrist to convey that he had nothing to worry about. “You know that I will always listen to whatever you have to tell me, ‘Ren. And I promise I’ll stay alive in the expedition tomorrow. I didn’t graduate a place above you for no reason.”

Eren scoffed. “I was just letting you ahead of me for once, there’s nothing special about that.”

Your eyes gained that admiration you always felt for him, your heart swelling with a sense of protectiveness for the boy even though he already assumed the role of the protector in your childhood. You started to hum when night became too quiet. The little tune coming out in a lingering sillage that smelled like home. Eren recognized the song and let himself close his eyes when your voice lulled him for a moment. It was the song you always sang whenever he sleeps over your house, dedicating to his then dream of joining the Scouts without his parents knowing. He felt your fingers caress the skin of his wrist, holding it in place below your ear since his entire body relaxed in equanimity.

“Leaves from the vines, changing so slow. Like empty, fallen souls, looking for a home.

“Little soldier boy, thought he could soar. Brave soldier boy, fallen in the war.

“My little soldier boy, I need you home. Brave soldier boy, come marching home.”

The song was carried by the wind and by how peaceful Eren looked, you might have assumed he had fallen asleep after hearing the song. But you see the normal rise and fall of his chest, him being asleep flying out of your mind. You rested the hand between yours on the side of your neck, the warmth of your skin becoming a river towards the boy’s heart. You breathed out, in hopes that he was awake to answer your request for the night, “Tell me a secret, Eren.” It was a plea if ever you didn’t survive the expedition tomorrow. Who knows what might happen to your first fight for humanity’s freedom outside the walls? The fear crept to your heart and you hoped for the one person to quell it in obedience. If you got yourself inside a Titan’s stomach, you would still find yourself swallowed by pride since you have a piece of Eren within you—one of his secrets.

You’re the most precious person I ever hold dear at the moment and I might burn the entire world if you slip through my fingers without knowing how deeply I feel for you. “What kind of secret?” Eren whispered so as not to disrupt the calming spell you cast on the meadow, despite the inner turmoil pulsing his temples. Oh, how he wanted to tell you how the tiny wisps you created in his heart turned into a million stars spreading across his chest.

“Anything.”

“Hmm.”

When Eren is deep in thought, you had the urge to tease him. “Be careful, you might hurt yourself from thinking too much.”

“Hey!” You only laughed at him, making him stare at the joy plastered on your face that he could see nothing else but you. “I’m going to be the first hero who’s going to have a happy ending.”

“I think all heroes are happy, Eren.”

That look of blazing flames took over his face, the hand carefully brushing his fingers on your skin cupped your cheek. His face seemed to be much closer to yours now but all you could do was stare because he was so captivating—like he could eat the world raw in front of your eyes. He was definitely destined for greatness and what better thing for greatness than glory? But it looked like Eren didn’t agree with you on that. “No, they’re not. Their life always ended in tragedies from the stories Armin’s books tell and I know I’m no different from them.” He pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes rooting you into the ground. “But I’m going to change that—I know Fate will be on my side for me to achieve that. Not just Fate, but you, too. You’re my reason and my moon.” He paused, gauging your reaction at the anxious thought of him revealing too much of his hidden feelings. All he could see was the same look you always throw at him. “I’m willing to be the world’s first happy hero for your sake!”

His usual enthusiasm endeared you. “I’m looking forward to it, ‘Ren. Make the world beautiful, not just for me, but for everyone else as well. I believe in you, my soldier.”

Eren will forever carry those words in death—until the end of the world.

The fight against the Titans was finally over and the ocean became the most anticipated reward for the survivors of the Battle of Shiganshina.

Its crystalline waters were so clear that it instantly took everyone’s breath away. It was way bigger than the lake they frequented back in the Training Corps. It was bigger than any body of water they encountered inside the walls. The blue was so bright that it captivated everyone more than the sky they always adored while being trapped in their crafted, fraud protection. The smell of salt was so strong that it invigorated all of you to jump down from your horses to get the feeling of wading your feet on the shore. It was the most beautiful thing you ever saw yet Eren’s half-lidded gaze never wavered from the childlike wonder you were sporting with everyone else. After he kissed Historia’s hand, he became more observant than normal, which baffled Jean and Connie. They were thinking that probably this was a change that they wouldn’t get used to. But now, no matter how enamored all of you were by the ocean, Eren was reclusive in his own world, looking away from you to point his stare at the horizon. He was more thoughtful than giddy compared to you. He realized he was the only younger soldier left standing on the shore until you called out his name.

“Eren!” Your smile was much more enrapturing than the ocean since he already saw the latter in his father’s memories. It was as if time slowed down when you turned around to beckon him to you, Armin, and Mikasa; face like the painting your mother hung upon the wall of your childhood home. You finally smiled like before and Eren’s eyes slightly widened, gaining some of the brightness they held that seemed to dull after the awarding ceremony. “We’re all waiting for you!”

He couldn’t fight against you.

As you and Mikasa laughed silently at the latter girl’s small slip in the shallow waters, Armin turned to Eren, whose body was facing something specific beyond the sea. “Look!” He was holding a handful of seawater, a conch shell sitting in the middle of his palms—shining like the crystals you found under the Reiss Chapel. “I told you, Eren! A salt lake so big that merchants could spend their whole lives collecting and still not get all the salt it holds. The things I talked about before weren’t wrong after all!”

Sensing the tone of delight from your blonde friend, you stopped splashing Mikasa and straightened yourself to look at the two boys. Your gaze drifted towards Eren, your stomach churning with someone so foreign when it comes to the boy. The black-haired girl also stopped scooping some seawater to throw at you, seeing how you were in a trance because of someone, before following your gaze. Armin was so ecstatic that he didn’t notice Eren’s melancholic demeanor until the taller boy opened his mouth.

“Yeah, it’s so damn big,” Eren dragged out.

Armin stepped forward with tears in his eyes. “Look, Eren, on the other side of the walls, there’s—”

“There’s a sea.” You shared a glance with Mikasa at the interruption but Eren continued, “On the other side of the sea is … freedom. That’s what I always believed. But I was wrong.” Now, you were concerned, taking steps across the shallow end of the sea to place your hand on Eren’s shoulder but his next words stopped you in your tracks. “But on the other side of the sea are enemies. Every part of this is exactly how I saw in my father’s memories.” He turned around, traveling his gaze from Armin and Mikasa before stopping at you. He saw your breath hitching at the sheen of pain in his eyes the more he looked at you. It was as if he was already apologizing for not giving you the beautiful world you wanted for everyone. In his mind, he was but you didn’t need to know that. He went back to staring at the horizon, pointing a finger towards it. “Hey, if kill all of our enemies over there … will we finally be free?”

It stunned you—how dejected he was. With tentative footsteps, you reached him, head tilted slightly to the side to fully see his face. “Eren,” you softly called for him to back. “Look at me.” Only when you placed a hand on his arm did he meet your gaze. “Welcome back, soldier boy.” Teal glowed with the reflection of the ocean’s waters at the nickname, your chest swelling with overflowing emotions at the life brought back to his eyes. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Eren faced you with faint anticipation, nodding for you to relay the secret.

You looked down at the small lapping waves by your ankles. “I’m afraid.” You missed how Eren’s face slightly become alarmed. “I know there are no threats of Titans lurking today but I’m scared of what might happen to you after the momentary peace ebbs away. I never said this to you but,” you lifted your head, only for your heart to beat faster and for your cheeks to become warmer at the astounded look Eren had on his face, “you’re so important to me. Ever since you accepted those biscuits I made when we were five, you are constantly shining in my memories. I don’t want you to lose that light, Eren.” You noticed that he took a step closer to soak in your warmth. “For now, let’s not worry about what the future might hold—let’s focus on the treasure we found today. Are you okay with that, Eren?”

You make him sound like someone should consider him as a fragile thing when he was anything but that. Dispelling a deep exhale, Eren figured that if it was you talking to him in that soft demeanor, better you than anyone else. Now, a small smile tugged on the corners of his lips, thanking you for pulling him out of the abysmal torment he seemed to be drowning in these days. He ducked down a little, relishing in the way your cheeks bloomed the prettiest red flowers. His hand scooped a handful of seawater and splashed it on your face. It was the last thing you expected from the brown-haired boy. Your squeal received a booming laugh from the handsome boy, his arms clutching his stomach at your adorable reaction. A few feet away from you two, Mikasa and Armin shared a relieved sigh before looking at each other with knowing smiles. If there was someone worthy enough to anchor Eren to reality, it was you.

“Eren!” you yelled, your soft half-lidded eyes from earlier morphing into a glare at the chortling boy. However, it died down when you stared at him for more than a few seconds. His hair was longer now, touching the base of his nape; and he was also taller by three inches in a year. His laughs died down to giggles as he covered his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes shining in mirth.

“Am I that handsome to make you space out like that?”

You recoiled with burning cheeks, taking a handful of seawater to splash him in the face, his laughs following soon after. “No, you idiot! How big can your head get?! You should stop saying those things, who knows what the others are thinking?” Your rambling only seemed to make the heat on your cheeks spread to your ears. “When have I ever thought that you’re handsome? You should get your head out from the clouds and—Ah! Let me go, Eren!”

Eren chuckled under his breath. “Never,” he simply stated.

Having his arms under your back and knees only made you cling to his neck as if it was your lifeline. Your protests and light punches on his chest didn’t deter him from doing the exact opposite of letting you go as he spun where he was, with you in his arms. Your squeals colored the entire landscape with an even brighter shade of blue, his laughs joining in as a complementary color. His feet sometimes got caught in the sand under him, which only wobbled his balance until you pleaded for him to put you down. Slowly enough, your shouts turned into full-blown laughs as Eren continued twirling the two of you, blue splashes twinkling against the rays of the sun. At some point, you leaned back with your arms now raised in the air, feeling the euphoria taking over your entire body. Eren struggled to keep you in his arms all the while adoring the look of eudaimonia on your features. That only made him slip, causing the two of you to tumble down on the water, with your body hovering Eren. Green eyes ate you—its limbal rings flecked with the image of you. While the others were laughing with each other down the waters, you and Eren were staring at each other as if it was the first time you saw the other. For him, your beauty made the world stop. For you, it was seeing him in a new light.

Seeing the new shine in your eyes for him, Eren leaned forward to press his forehead on yours, heart beating tumultuously. “I promise to give you the most beautiful world after the war, just promise me back that you’ll never slip away from my grasp.”

You placed your hands on his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat through your skin. “When have I ever slipped away from you, ‘Ren?”

A dozen images flashed in front of Eren’s eyes but he couldn’t look away at your inquiring ones. “No matter what happens, don’t. If it comes down to that moment, promise me that you’ll listen to me, okay? I …” Eren hesitated, weighing if this was the right time to pour out his feelings for you. Your hair fell over your shoulder, tilting your head in patience. “I … [Name], you—”

“Take your time, Eren.”

Eren shook his head before nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck to hide his burning cheeks. He tightly closed his eyes and lightly brushed his lips over your skin, causing you to shudder on top of him. “Can I tell you a secret?” You only hummed in response, running your fingers through the damp strands of his hair. Eren fixed his stare on the foam behind you, mindlessly lifting his arms to wrap them around your waist. “You’re my heaven in this hell and I can’t afford to lose you. If I lose you, I might as well burn the entire world to the ground.” He tightened his embrace around you. “I’ll gladly be the devil because losing you means that I’ve lost the only good thing I have in this hellhole. I don’t want that to happen.”

“I’ll never leave you, Eren. I’ll always be here with you. I’m the moon to your sun, right?”

“My moon,” the boy murmured on your skin.

Eren will do anything to keep his moon shining.

There were times when Eren would sneak inside your room during your time as cadets. Historia, Ymir, Sasha, and Mikasa were all used to his behavior of peeking inside the doorway despite being forbidden to enter the female barracks. He figured that if he napped with you by his side, everything will wash away from his mind—the responsibilities, the threat of Titans, the constant battle for survival.

Now, as Eren carefully opened the door to your single bedroom in the Scouts Headquarters, he stood with his back on the wooden door to stare at your breathing figure with half-lidded eyes. It seemed that as the years passed, Eren was slowly turning into the most brooding person everyone knew rather than the hot-headed suicidal bastard that he was. He was wearing a long coat and there was a sack of essentials draped over his shoulder as if he was going somewhere. Nobody knew of this plan of his, which will only be revealed in a letter once he reached his destination. But if there’s someone in the tight circle of the Survey Corps worthy enough of saying farewell to, it was you—the one person who’s been there before anything fell into their demise. Eren, however, was nervously wringing his hands in front of him. You shifted in your bed, stiffening Eren in his post at your door. Damn, you really don’t know the effect you have on him? Exhaling a sigh, Eren silently padded his way to sit on the edge of your bed, his fingers reaching out to brush your hair out of your face.

“Eren?” you mumbled, eyes opening with a hazy undertone. “It’s late, why are you here?” Your mind answered your question for you, causing you to smile in understanding. You scooted to the right side of your bed, patting the space beside you. “You can sleep here, ‘Ren.”

For a moment, Eren’s eyes flashed like a fast-paced comet in the night sky. His voice was low and small when he finally said, “I’m going away to Marley.”

You sat up, the blankets pooling on your waist and your nightgown exposed to the chilly midnight air. Eren’s tan cheeks colored a slight red at the sight of the see-through coverings on your body. You didn’t care if he saw you in your most comfortable clothes, there was something foreboding with the way Eren’s face contorted in a light grimace at your furrowed expression.

“What?”

Your hand made its way up to cup his cheeks, turning his head to face yours. After three years of preparing for the war against the nation across the seas and Eren grew into a young man who towered above anyone else with his secretive determination to provide you with the most beautiful life. You watched him grow into different phases of his life—the brazen little soldier boy who vowed to protect you always, the passion-driven teenager who screamed to kill all of the Titans, the reserved young man who looked like he had the entire sky on his shoulders. You saw everything that he came to be and now he was the one slipping away from you despite the promise you shared in the sea. “Don’t tell me you’re doing something reckless again.” Tears were starting to cloud your vision. “Please, stay with us and we’ll think of another plan before doing whatever you planned inside that head of yours. Don’t just head there without any help from us, ‘Ren.”

Eren’s breathing hastened when he saw you cry, begging for him to never leave Paradis. Why did he think that going to you before setting sail for Marley was a great idea? Now, it was even harder for him to leave. The emotions keep piling up inside his heart, the three little words that could change everything lodged in his throat. His eyes didn’t lie, though—they were flashing with so much affection for you that he buried his hands through your hair to embrace you tightly in his arms. You were still pleading for him to stay, your cries muffled by his shoulder.

“Please don’t cry, moonshine.”

That only spurred you to dig your hands in his back, wishing for him to rethink his decision. You’re his beloved, his anchor, his moon—everything beautiful in this world was all of you. “I have to do something first before I can have that happy ending I was talking about in the meadow.” Why can’t he say those words that he kept inside a jar in his heart? “Just promise me that you’ll never let me go.”

Another promise.

“Did you tell the others?”

“No, they don’t know.”

“Why are you doing this without them knowing?”

He knows your eyes are glaring on his shoulder, still, he didn’t let you go from his arms.

“Because it’s better that way.”

You pushed on his chest to meet his eyes. “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? Why are you heading there by yourself, ‘Ren? You know Levi’s going to kill you once he catches wind of this.” There was a beat of butterfly wings before he opens his mouth, his words chilling your blood.

“If it means raising hell on earth just to give you any semblance of serenity—I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

The atmosphere inside the airship was stifling, the silence was deafening as you stood inside the room with Mikasa, Armin, and Levi. The four of you were facing Eren, Zeke, and Yelena. The whole time the mission to retake Eren after he crumbled Marley into a sea of flames, you were keeping your head down, not having the strength to look at Eren, unlike the others. There was nothing to be said as you took a deep breath to excuse yourself from the room, Mikasa following you with her eyes laden with misery. This might even be the final straw in snapping your relationship with Eren, there was no going back, now that he killed innocent people for his goal. His words before he turned himself as a refugee in Marley pulsed in your head, creating a headache that drilled in your skull. A firm hand latched on your wrist, preventing you from moving any further. Staring down at the tanned hand wrapping your wrist in a vice grip, you were met with Eren’s dull green eyes staring straight at you. You don’t know what to feel so you clenched your jaw and looked away from him.

“Please, don’t go out there,” he whispered for your ears only. Levi narrowed his eyes at the exchange, taking a step closer to where you were to make sure that Eren stays in his lane. “[Name], please listen to me. Don’t step outside that door. I beg you.” The grip on your hand only tightened. “I need you home.”

You don’t even know where home was at this point. You tried prying his hand away from you, gritting at the force he applied to make you stay inside the room. Mikasa was about to help you but Levi rose a hand in front of her to not make a commotion, the older Ackerman’s eyes only hardened at the refusal Eren sported. “Eren, let me go,” you murmured. “Eren. I just need some fresh air—it’s suffocating in here.” He didn’t relent, clinging onto you as if you were the source of strength he needed to win this war, which you never knew that you were of importance in this chess game he initiated. In the end, you stopped struggling, hope sparking inside the young man’s chest. However, you looked down at him with a blank stare, his eyes slightly widening at the coat of disappointment swirling in your irises. “Let me go. I’m already tired enough as it is, don’t make me argue anymore.” You felt his hand slackening, allowing you to slip from his fingers.

He couldn’t fight against you.

Opening the door, the cheers from the other soldiers contrasted the silence you just left behind. It was a celebration you had no plans of joining since you were still hovering above the city you just declared war against. Pushing past bodies that you have no chance of interacting with, you let out a small sigh of relief at the second trio you held dear to your heart. Sasha was the first one who saw you, her steps receding the distance between you two, and engulfing you in a tight hug oozing with tenderness. You grew to care for Sasha since you were always roomed with each other even way back in the Training Corps. She regarded you highly after you shared your meal with her, only to have Mikasa place some of her portions on your plate because she doesn’t want you to get underfed. “Hey, Sasha, I’m glad you’re safe.”

Sasha nuzzled her head on your hair, breathing in your faint scent of cloves. “I’m glad you’re here, too. Oh, God, I hope it’s over.”

You know what she’s talking about but you didn’t want to extinguish the temporary joy she wore after this mission. You placed your chin on her shoulder, smiling against her uniform while running circles across her back. “I hope so, too.”

“Once we get back home, we’ll eat all the food we receive from Niccolo. You lost weight, we ought to get it back up!”

You chuckled at her bright nature. You’re already looking forward to going home with the people you call family.

But when the thuds of bodies coming from the entrance of the airship, all of those promises you made to certain people crumbled right in front of your eyes.

You saw a brown-haired girl aiming a rifle in Sasha’s direction and because of instinct, you pushed Sasha away from you. Using all of your strength, your friend hit the side of the airship in a shocked huff. Then, everything flashed by your eyes—all the running in the streets of Shiganshina, the stories you all shared during your time in both the Training Corps and Survey Corps, keeping your lives intact at every mission in the entire year before you discovered the ocean. But a certain person clouded your mind—the little soldier boy you promised to never let go when the time comes. His iridescent green eyes that sparkled against the sunrays. The chocolate tresses that now reached past his shoulders. Oh, how you wanted to braid his hair the moment you saw it flowing in the wind earlier. The hugs he gave you after a long day in training. The expectant look he threw at you when you stood on his shoulder with Mikasa whilst you blankly stared at the burning ground. There were so many things you wanted to say to Eren but a single sentence rang inside your head—

I love you since the beginning, my soldier boy, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.

And the bullet hit you square on the chest.

Chaos ensued in the airship. Sasha was frozen on the floor, eyes wide and mouth agape at the reality of the situation. Connie and Jean stared at the children being beaten up by the other members of the Survey Corps. At the first punch landing on the brown-haired girl who shot you, Sasha jolted from her trance. She scrambled on the floor, crawling to you, who was breathing heavily while finding the ceiling interesting. The blood was starting to pool around you in that vibrant shade that was starting to haunt her. She didn’t know where to put her hands, horror flowing in her veins at the realization that you pushed her away to take the bullet. Choking a cry, Sasha screamed, catching the attention of Connie and Jean, who was still processing what happened.

“[Name]!”

Connie jumped from his spot, wide eyes taking you in before kneeling on your other side. His hands were gently tapping on your still warm cheek. “Hey, [Name]? Hang in there, okay?! Stay awake please!”

“[Name]!” Sasha continuously called out for you, tears coming out in rapids onto her cheeks. “Please! Don’t close your eyes yet! There’s a feast waiting for us prepared by Niccolo.” Then, she stopped and wailed, hugging you close to her, your blood staining her uniform. “Why did you have to take it for me?!”

“Why are you guys … so loud?” A serene smile weakly appeared on your face. “We’re all going … home, right?”

“Somebody get some bandages!” Jean screamed at somewhere beside you. “We have to stop the bleeding!”

“[Name], make it to the island, okay?!” Connie tried convincing himself.

“E … ren,” you breathed out before all the light escaped your eyes.

The moon lost her shine.

Sasha felt you slump in her arms, her face expressionless before she mindlessly reached out for the bandages in another soldier’s arms. She started coiling it around your body but the blood only seemed to seep through. Sasha was in a trance as she convinced herself that you were just sleeping and that you needed to eat when you get back home. The brown-haired girl was in that state until Mikasa and Armin burst through the door to kneel beside you. Their wails didn’t help because Sasha found herself crying once again.

You have to survive; you were the one person who tied everyone together back when you were cadets. You were the reason why Eren and Jean tolerated one another. You were the one Armin confided in when he had some plans. You were Mikasa’s rock and the only one with who she could be herself. You were Sasha’s personal pillow during your nights in your shared room. You were Connie’s source of comfort when he found out his entire village turned into Titans. Everybody expressed how important you were and they were starting to think that they should’ve expressed it more because you were such an angel.

“Every time you’re caught by the enemy, we sacrifice lives to bring you back. No matter how many or how important they are.”

Those words flew by Eren’s ears, with him staring at nothing in particular. He knew this was going to happen—you dying in this airship. He fought so hard to make sure you don’t take one step past the doorway but you did the exact opposite of what he hoped for. He was so weak against you that he let you be because he didn’t want to feel the disappointment radiating from you. He could carry all the glares of anyone in this ship but never yours. So, he let you go. And now he felt half of his soul breaking, spreading a blossoming ache towards his chest until he placed a hand above his heart to try to quell it. Eren clenched his jaw to prevent himself from breaking in front of the people inside the room, even to the point of biting his cheek, his blood creating a tangy taste on his tongue. It was like half of him was gone the moment you were shot. His breathing became ragged the more he fought back the sobs brewing in his throat. He didn’t even say he had loved you more than half of his life. His lips were trembling as Connie opened the door with a horror-stricken face, the cries of the others beyond the door echoing like demons.

“[Name] … is dead.”

Fuck, he loves you so much and you didn’t even know it.

“Connie,” Eren’s voice wavered. (Levi furrowed his eyebrows at the broken sound.) “Did she … have any last words?”

Please let it be something else.

Connie turned his head to Eren. “It’s your name. [Name]’s last word was your name.”

The gleam in Eren’s eyes came back as he buried his head in his hands, the first signs of a sob coming out in whimpers of your name. Levi, Hange, and Jean stared at him, surprised that after dragging Marley to the coldest pits of hell, Paradis’ devil blatantly showed his vulnerability—his weakness being you. Murmurs of apologies streamed out of his mouth. The promise of being the first hero to have a happy ending. What happy ending when you’re not here to enjoy it with him? His version of a happy ending was confessing to you and starting a family once the onslaught was over. Now, it burned to ashes. The promise of never letting go when the time in the airship comes. His heart couldn’t bear the look on your face just minutes ago. Now, it led to your death. Half of his soul died alongside you. His shoulders shook as he let out the loudest sob inside the airship; Jean looking away to prevent himself from crying, even Hange was turning around to give the brown-haired boy his privacy. Eren didn’t even ask you to sing that lullaby he always liked before you passed away. There was one regret creating a migraine in his temple and that was never letting you know he loves you more than anything in this damn world.

His heaven in this hell was no more.

His moon was no longer here.

Perhaps it is the greatest grief to be left on earth when another is gone.

With a newfound fire, Eren will watch the world burn without you—the only promise he’ll find himself fulfilling, now that he lost the only beautiful thing he had in this cruel world.

[angellissy]

Hey :) I’ve never requested anything before so I’m sorry if i do it wrong hahah

But could I request something where instead of ward faking his death it’s rafe who has to do it and none of the pouges know about your relationship until it’s you crying in the dock instead of Sarah. And when you and the piggies go on the “rescue” mission to get Sarah off of the boat you see rafe and eventually end up staying with him and leaving your friends

I’m sorry if this is really long xx thank you for taking the time to read my request

R E A C H I N G  F O R  T H E  S U R F A C E

SEASON TWO SPOILERS!

rafe Cameron x Reader

warnings: angst with a big a, canon rafe (maybe a bit softer), toxic relationship, rafe playing the victim card, death and talks of suicide.

a/n: I feel like it is of importance that I tell you all that I have done everything in my power not to romanticize the rafe cameron character and if I have then please kindly let me know because sometimes it can be hard. However I still need to say that I am writing through the eyes of the “reader” who very much still cares for this boy, which also means that the way the reader deals with things might not have been your way. If any more warnings should be included in the beginning, feel free to let me know. I hope you enjoy this fic which I am actually very proud of. A big thanks to @snkkat​ who is my proof reading buddy. Also thanks for sending in the request, I LOVED writing it! <3

They say that when you die your life flashes before your eyes, but how about when you watch someone else die? For as you watched him die, the life and moments the two of you had shared flashed before your eyes like a string of reminders of a life and love lost. It felt as if there was no air for you to breathe, you weren’t even sure how long it had been since you managed to take a full breath. Your mind was running in circles, trying to grasp what had just occurred, replaying the scene over and over again until you were not even sure what reality you were in. With a hammering heart and a split soul, you were kneeling on the dock, just minutes after watching your first love take his own life. You could not even remember how you had gotten out here in the first place, you just wished that you would have stayed behind as all your friends rushed toward a disaster in waiting. Perhaps that would have spared you some of the heartbreak, spared you from hearing him scream that he loved you one last time, spared you from seeing his boat go up in flames. But no, you were sure that for as long as you lived, you would see that blazing inferno whenever you closed your eyes.

There were arms around you, an attempt to soothe your shaking body, it only made you feel more trapped in a memory you would never escape. Those arms lifted you up and suddenly you were walking, mixed in all the anger and sadness there was a surprise that your body was even able to function. It felt as if you were outside of your body watching everything occur, you watched as Kiara and JJ helped you sit down on a sofa and as they draped a blanket over your shoulders. You watched it unfold, but you couldn’t feel it and there was no way that you would be able to respond to their worried questions. Instead, you were stuck in a mind that replayed everything Rafe had ever said or done to you as if that somehow could manifest him back to life. That stuck-up boy with the golden hair had been your first boyfriend, complicated as the relationship may have been, it had been the first time you ever experienced something close to love. Just days ago you had stood before him, tears in your eyes and heart in your throat as you called the relationship off. For a very long time, he had not been the boy you fell for, but rather a ghost of who he once was. Where he had once been sweet and tender with you, there had only been cold stares and words sharp enough to cut through ice. You were not oblivious to the fact that he struggled with issues you could never comprehend, but you refused to be an accomplice in his undoing. Time after time you had tried to be the person he could cling to when the world sat heavily upon his shoulders, but you soon realized that love and affection could not solve all problems. Oh, and you had loved him so much that you would have done anything for him to smile at you the way he had when he uttered those big three words for the first time. He had watched you with eyes that held so much adoration that you thought that they would never dim, that they would shine brighter for each time his eyes found yours. But eventually, they had dulled, and so you had realized that you would not sacrifice yourself no matter how much you cared for him. It did not matter that you had called things off with him or that you had decided to leave him in order to save yourself, for the knowledge that he was actually gone made it feel like someone was clawing at your heart and trying to rip it apart. It felt like no time in the world would be able to heal the pain in your chest or dry the tears falling from your eyes.

Time was indeed a funny thing, how seconds turned into minutes and how then those minutes became hours. Hours that you spent reminiscing over a life you thought you had given up before it was lost forever. You clung to the memories of him as if they were the lifebuoy keeping an anchor from pulling you down in a sea made up of your own sorrow. You knew that you were staying in your own made-up memories of a relationship with more bad times than good, but a part of you felt that you could not grieve the person he had become. For he had been vile and horrid, and if you acknowledged that, you would feel guilty for the sadness overwhelming you. So yes, you stayed in your made-up reality and wept for the boy that could have been. As hours turned into days, your friends made every effort to comfort you and try to get you out of the room that had become your place of mourning. Their tries aggravated you, for they did not understand the feelings rushing through your body at such speed it made you lightheaded. Each one of them had hated Rafe Cameron with at least one bone in their body and you knew how some of them had looked the day he died as if they were content that he was finally gone. Relieved that he could no longer plague them with taunts and threats that might have become reality was it not for his passing. You might have understood this, had it not been for the grief and guilt plaguing every bone in your body.

As days turned into weeks, you eventually came to appreciate their efforts to help you. It was like your vision was starting to clear and you could finally start trying to live your life again, and the first step to doing that was always to surround yourself with people that made you roar with laughter. Their ventures to try and find the Cross of Santo Domingo, were helpful, to say the least. Those adventures were as distracting as they were terrifying since the outcome was never given. Your mixed friend group of pogues and kooks had actually found that damn cross as well. Who would have thought that a bunch of high school kids would be able to find a historic relic? The answer would have been no one, and that is why you don’t underestimate kids with no limits. The cross had been in your grasp until a greedy and manipulative Ward Cameron came along and grabbed it. Ever since that particular happening, things started going south fast and it all ended up with Sarah being kidnapped by her own guardians. It also ended up with the rest of you stowed away like cargo on the ship she was on. While John B and Pope carried out their plan to find Sarah and the famous cross, you, JJ, and Kie sweated from every pore as you waited to hear from them. You had zoned out, staring mindlessly into one of the walls of the container, in the background you could hear your two friends talk about their dreams for the future. Something about going on several surfing trips at various destinations with each other, and that part made your heart ache. Sure, after everything he had done, a future with Rafe had not been one of your dreams. Still, as you listened to your friends talk, you could only remember a time where he had been everything you wanted in life. You pressed your palms upon your face as if you somehow could force every memory of him to remain in that little part of your brain where you were hoping they would become forgotten. A loud clank dragged you out of your thoughts and you looked up just in time to see Pope and John B climb in through that small window opening, followed by a woman you had never ever seen. Shortly after that, problems started to arise and soon all of you were scrambling out of the container in hopes of not being detected by the workers on the boat. They were in obvious search of all of you, which made you sweat even more than you had done inside the container. All of you received different plans on how to tackle the situation, yours was to act as a lookout for John B as he searched for Sarah.

You followed him down to what you could only assume was the boiler room since steam was thick in the air and you took your place by the door as he ventured further down. His desperate cries for Sarah echoed through the room and you dearly wished for a response to be heard, but there was nothing except the sound of his shoes against the floor. Thump, thump, thump and then utter silence until John B utters a name that made it feel as if the floor was pulled away from under your feet.

“Rafe.”

One of your hands finds the doorframe, a poor attempt to steady yourself as you try to figure out if this is a trick played by your grieving mind. You take a few breaths and as the silence is once again interrupted by two raised voices, you follow John B’s path down into the room. The heart in your chest is beating so hard that it feels like you are going to throw up, and it only gets worse the nearer you come. At first, you only see your friend, but then you look past him

and

your

heart

stops.

Rafe Cameron had died in front of your very eyes, so either the gods were playing a nasty cruel joke or you had lost the battle with your mind. You shut your eyes just to open them again, and no matter how many times you did it, he still remained. What happened next was a bit peculiar to you, for weeks you had drowned in grief where sadness was the constant emotion, but as you looked him in the eye and saw that he was very much alive, rage and anger crushed into you with the force of a thousand waves. You stepped toward him, only for an arm to shoot out to stop you, and John B added to his gesture by saying “Don’t”. Laughter bubbled in your throat, for who was he to tell you what you could or could not say to your “dead” ex-boyfriend who seemed to never stop causing you grief.

“Find Sarah.” John B hesitated for a few moments before following your unspoken order to leave you and Rafe alone. It wasn’t surprising considering that his worry for Sarah would always overpower anything else. Once again you looked into Rafe’s blue eyes, remembering a time when you used to stare in them for so long you would see specks of green and grey. Had you searched for those colors now, you would probably have found them. However, you were trying to decipher whatever feeling that was shining in them, was it anger? No, his other features were too soft for that and the hand holding his weapon had gone slack as he watched you. Maybe it was relief? No that was not it either, for why would he be relieved to see you? You were not the one who had died and left the other behind. You stepped even closer to him, the simmering anger inside of your veins made your hands shake and he looked at them briefly as if he wanted to take them in his. Your hands clenched into fists and you watched as his shoulders dropped the tiniest bit, and suddenly you knew exactly what was shining in his eyes.

Love, and sadness. Your heart started to speed up again, and you knew that once you opened your mouth, the anger and grief that had become part of you, would tumble out in words that you would never be able to take back. But he had done something much worse, so he would listen, you would make sure of it. Your lips parted slightly and he must have seen it for his words came first.

“I- fuck I am sorry okay? But I had to do it, you wouldn’t understand but I had to do it, it was the best for everyone.” As he says this you can’t help the sound that slips through your lips, it was supposed to be a laugh but it sounds more like a sob. His eyes flicker between you and everything else in the room as if there was anything in here that could save him for this conversation. You move your hands toward your chest and his eyes watch as you press them hard against your chest, against the heart that won’t stop breaking.

“Best for everyone?” Your voice is the combination of a whisper and a ragged breath “Did you have my best interest in mind when you let me believe you had blown yourself up?” He winces and makes an attempt to say something but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Did it ever occur to you how your little stunt would affect the one person who still, despite everything, loved you?” This time, your voice has started to rise towards something like a scream, and how could you not scream when there is so much sadness inside of you that it felt like just looking at him would turn your body into a pool of water.

“You broke up with me, so don’t start acting like a victim where you aren’t one.” His features are starting to morph into those he carries when anger overcomes him, but you will not back away from this. Your hands are in your hair, pulling at it as if that would help you make sense of this situation. “You broke my heart long before I broke yours.” You can’t help the way your voice breaks or the tears that start falling from your eyes.“You needed and still need help and until you receive that help, you are prone to hurt anyone in your vicinity.” Now it is his turn to drag his hands through his hair and his breaths come faster and faster until you realize that he is starting to hyperventilate. He sinks to the floor and you follow, not sure how to help when it feels like his state is mirroring your own. With cautious movements, you place your hands on his shoulders, and the shaking of his body sends trembles throughout yours. For a while nothing happens, you just sit there with your hands on his body and watch him fall apart. Perhaps you should have been glad that he was suffering, after everything he had done to you he deserved it. But you couldn’t feel anything other than anguish and as a sob escaped his body every restraint you had kept on yourself broke and you hugged him towards your chest. You could never save him, but he clung to you as if you had the power to undo every wrong he had ever done. After a while, he looks up at your tear-streaked face and one of his hands reaches up to cup it. You want to look away because you can see everything in those eyes of his, every regret and every wish he has ever had. His forehead leans towards you and you feel his hot breath against your skin. As you breathe in the scent of cologne and feel his skin against yours, you feel overwhelmed by the fact that he is actually here. You notice that his lips part and for a second you are scared that he is going to kiss you, but he must know that there is a limit to your patience with him so he just whispers words with the promise of what could have been. “I wanted to be good for you.” A small smile takes place on your lips and you close your eyes as you try to restrain the well of emotions inside of you. “I know Rafe, I know.” He breathes out a little, almost as if he is relieved that you are aware that he tried in a world and with a mind constantly working against him. You knew, but you also knew that there was someone else out there for you. Someone who would love you in a way that Rafe would never be able to, in a way that would not send the two of you to the bottom of the ocean. Whoever was out there would make you swim. For so long you had wanted to believe that Rafe was the one, despite all his flaws you would have given anything for him to be your future. It was a relief to know that you could and deserved to have more. But you also knew that you needed to do something before that could happen.

“I will stay-.” Before you could even finish your sentence he whipped his head up to look at you with such hope you never wanted to continue talking. You swallowed hard and forced yourself to go on. “I will stay with you just to make sure you receive the help you need.” His whole body deflated and you had to bite your lip in order not to cry again. Eventually, he nodded and you closed your eyes in relief. You knew that this had to be the right move, no one else would listen to him or make sure he got help, so you needed to be the one to did. Just enough so that you finally could start swimming towards the surface.

[janumun]

what juju kaisen would be into threesoems and who would not

What a straight 100+ shoot there, Nonny. 🤣 This had my mind dragged in several different directions before I figured I wouldn’t mind one bit being pulled into multiple places. 

Any of these men can be into pounding you three ways into Nirvana, if you so wish (and imagine hard enough LOL) 

I’ll briefly run through some of my favorite boys and whether they would or would not be into sharing your body with another.

Warnings: NSFW/18+ content, discussions of sexual scenarios ahead, exhibitionism, passing mention of murder (Sukuna’s on this list LOL), (mild) size kink, tentacle play.

Please proceed at your own discretion.

Gojo Satoru

If you expressed interest in wanting to bring another partner into the bedroom with you or it somehow worked out that way (a polyamorous situation, for instance), there is no way Gojo would begrudge his girl the good time she deserves.

That does not mean he promises good behavior or that he wouldn’t be bringing his entire erotic arsenal onto the negotiation table, or in between your sheets in this instance. 

He can and would absolutely make a game out of who can pleasure you better (Spoiler Alert: he knows it’s him, obviously) in front of the other partner in question.

That confidence of his however, is no fluke and the man’s infuriatingly self-aware of the fact, smug bastard LOL

Back to his chest, your legs flexed wide open for your partner to see: that cock moving in and out of you, the clench of you around Gojo, copious arousal trailing down and smeared across your thighs and staining the sheets fast, it’s all too clear to see, leaving your second partner flushed and aroused.

Nanami Kento

This husband man of course, would never have thought of bringing another into the bedroom, you’re plenty enough for him and his satisfaction.

He doesn’t take to the idea all at once, a frown forming in between his brows at the proposal.

He wouldn’t outright reject you either, although you might’ve expected it of Nanami. But as I’ve outlined in my relationship head-canons for him, this man is all about your pleasure, and understanding where it stems from. He may be more grounded within his conventional methods but Nanami knows only a fool refutes and complains of subject matters they are not entirely aware of.

And he is, very obviously, not acquainted with the arrangement of a three way.

When he does allow for experimentation, he might find your new partner skilled enough to cajole a groan (or several) out of him, pleasure he wasn’t quite aware he was capable of being given through his body.

A very fun, titillating experience to be enjoyed indeed.

Ryomen Sukuna

The only threesome you can expect from him is the one where he pounds deep and harsh into your pussy but somehow knows how to maneuver that monstrous cock just right it has you ready to come from penetration alone while he makes the one you showed interest in watch.

Watch as he wrecks his woman so well on his cock alone. Something that other insect could never hope to have. 

Rather like Gojo in the sense of wanting to establish and flaunt his superiority over all others. Both are confident in their skills to make you scream for them and they both know it too, as well as they make sure you do too.

A torture of the highest degree, that other man should be grateful he even allowed him a glimpse of you at the peak of your pleasure before… his inevitable death. Sukuna would murder whoever else so much as ever dreamed of having designs on you.

And if you were the one he found showing interest in another, well—

You’re not leaving his bed for as long as it takes for that ire and possession to die down, until he knows he’s pounded the fact into your body: he’s the only one who shall ever hold the power to pleasure you, the only one who’d ever be allowed to fuck you — your pussy, being for his cock alone — for as long as you live.

“Who do you belong to? Speak up.” Thumb grinding half circles into your clit before he withdraws, the torment of hanging upon that precipice almost too much, you cannot take it anymore.

“Y-You… Sukuna, you! Please… please!”

A vicious grin splitting wide across his face as he withdraws, plunging right back into you, the slam of his hips against yours you know is going to bruise.

“Don’t you go forgetting that again.”

In retrospect, again, the only threesome you can expect from the King of Curses is a blight placed upon whichever poor mortal you dare bless your affections to and a vigorous long period of time spent trying to satiate the King’s sexual appetite for you, worsened by that dark possession.

Extra: The only time he couldn’t care less for a partner being fucked by a horde of other beings (man or not), is if he did not care for them. He might even enjoy the show of an orgy put on for him.

However if you happen to garner the attentions and affections of Sukuna Ryomen and then hope for survival... perish the thought. He shall have you, mind, body and soul; his to do with as he pleases, for eternity.

Mahito

Yes. Big Yes for this one. Mahito’s all about experimentation!

He might be the only one on this list to suggest sharing your body first although… not in the traditional sense and would be more than delighted were you to agree.

He’s not bringing any random stranger in, of course, it would be a waste if said stranger couldn’t live up to his expectations. He’s eager to try much out with you, as long as you’d allow him and his bedroom ‘kinks’ can range from bizarre to straight up terrifying, depending on how you might view them.

Mahito’s capable of configuring his soul to take the shape of anything he might wish, be it another him— 

Holding you up and apart as he penetrates your pussy while the other eases into your ass, settling snug and full… until they start to move in conjunction and your mind blanks entirely.

Or… elongating several limbs into odd, slimy shapes, tentacles he’s penetrating into every part of you: mouth, ass, pussy: two, three of each. As many as you can take within every part of you.

Might even be up to sharing you with Geto, so long as he promises not to harm his most precious one, she’s so important to him, it would be a pity were Geto to attempt breaking you beyond repair.

 A/N: In short, this Pickle is far more into orgies than she’d like LOL and would wish you to enjoy all your wildest fantasies as well, folks.

I am absolutely going to be cussed at for that GIF usage but I regret nothing! 

[alexaplaysgames]

Can you do Felix and Mc getting into a fight

My angst brain need some

You got it bb <3 Idk if this is really that much of a fight, but I couldn't make the MC too mean to Felix. Also, I’m aware this paints baby in a bad light. I had to make them fight about something okay :’( I don’t think he’d do this in canon.

Title: A bit Bitter

Pairing: Felix Escellun x GN!MC (Last Legacy)

Words: 2564

Tags: @demon-paradise @themohawkhelmet @cactus-hoodie @aomiyeon @piningmaybeanartist @another-confused-gay @uselessbeanies @nomnomcupcakesworld @druwuuwu @frozen-daydream @kirakiratears @margitartist @crowtrinkets @fanfic-about-fictif Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed.

“Tell me the truth, Felix.”

His gray eyes dart upwards from his textbooks as I storm into the room. When he sees what I hold clutched in my hands, he swallows, the bob of his throat visible even from the doorway.

I continue in a voice that is simultaneously weak and as strong as I can manage. “Is this really how you feel?”

“W-why do you have that, love?”

I frown. His nervousness sends guilt shooting through me, but I stamp it out. I’ve bent over backwards for months in an attempt to make him comfortable, and did so gladly. But this? I can only withstand so much.

I set the notebook down on the edge of his desk with a heavy thud. Felix winces.

“The things you wrote in here, about me…” I shake my head, then look away. I can feel my eyes sting, and I bite my tongue to hold back from crying. “Felix-“

“That’s private! You don’t have the right to go snooping through my possessions.”

I sigh. Yeah, I’m nosy and read his journal, and normally I would be ashamed. I shouldn’t have done it, but… “I don’t think that’s important right now.”

“Of course it’s important!” Felix gasps, standing out of his desk chair to snatch up the journal. He meets my eyes with a fragile sort of vulnerability, then pulls the journal defensively to his chest. “I’m not privy to every thought you have. You can’t judge me for mine.”

“I would never think these things of you!” My voice raises until it edges on a shout, and I frantically rush to reign it in. “I would never.”

“That’s not-“ Felix whispers with a shake of his head. “That’s not fair.”

“No. What’s not fair is this.” I reach forward and pull the leather journal from his hands, flipping forward a few weathered pages until I find what I’m looking for.

“‘Not nearly comparable to Rime’s beauty, nor do they possess his talent with magic. They’re candlelight to his radiant sun. I’ve quelled whatever feeling has stirred in my chest and decided that I won’t settle for them. Not while my love is still hurting. And I do miss him so.”

Felix is biting at his lip as I lower the book once more, his eyes watery, wide circles. “That’s old,” he chokes out. “I swear. I don’t feel that way. I love you.”

He looks like he wants to touch me, so I step away. I shake my head. “But you did feel that way.”

“I- why does it matter? That’s private. How- how much else have you read to convince yourself my feelings for you are disingenuous? You were never meant to see any of it.” He’s wrapped arms around his thin frame, now, squeezing his eyes shut as if he wishes this all would simply go away.

“I’ve read enough.”

Felix’s eyes go wide, then dart to the journal in my hand. “Why?” I ask. “Worried there’s something worse left for me to uncover?”

“N-no.” He runs his hand over his face. “Why couldn’t you stay out of my things? That was personal! It was none of your business!” Felix hisses the last words, as close to angry as I’ve ever seen him with me. His eyes are filled with tears, but his expression if one of a rage I’ve never been in the receiving end of.

“Fuck you,” I spit out, watching him hiccup as if the words were a physical blow. “You’re a liar, Felix.” Then I simply can’t help myself but to add, “Maybe you do deserve to be alone.”

I know as soon as I say it that I’ve gone too far, and the look on his face- fuck. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the broken, hurt expression that flashes across his features out of my head. Yes, the words he’d written in that journal had stung, but I don’t feel any satisfaction from hurting him just as badly. If anything, it makes me feel worse.

All I feel is lost. My psyche weighs heavy with guilt, as well as hatred for myself for letting my patience slip. Before it can all come crumbling down on me, I turn on my heel and rush out the door, slamming it behind me with an echo that rings much to hollow to make me feel any better.

✦✧✦✧

I had frantically stuffed my few belongings into a bag and rushed to the nearest inn, flopping onto a rickety bed and crying myself to exhaustion. That had been two days ago, now, and I haven’t spoken to Felix since.

On the bright side, sending drunk texts is much more difficult to do when one doesn’t possess a cellphone.

Each night my dreams are filled with memories of his face, his smile. I can feel him in my arms, see the distinct colour of his blush each time I call him “baby” or “my sweet”. I wonder if I was over-dramatic in my reaction, but then remember the words in that journal. To think, the passage I had read aloud had only been one of many.

No. I was right to be upset.

I keep wondering if maybe the things he wrote in there were true. Yet, it’s so confusing- Felix has always had the upmost respect for me. And he’s not exactly great at hiding his emotions.

I’ve met with Anisa and Sage, both of whom seemed relatively stunned at the news. Anisa had offered exercise as a way to take my mind off it, and Sage had offered… another form of physical activity altogether, which didn’t really surprise me.

“A fight? Really? You two have always seemed like such a sappy married couple…”

I sigh. “Thanks, Sage. Really. It wasn’t even a fight, to be honest.”

“Married couples do fight, Sage.” Anisa pats my hand. “Felix is just dramatic. It will be fine! Whatever he did, I’m sure he didn’t mean it. He just gets a little… jumbled up sometimes. But his intentions are pure. At least, I believe so. You can never tell with Felix.” She smiles. “Give him some time to mope and he’ll apologize.”

“If it helps,” Sage interjects, “he fought all the time with deer boy, and they were apparently a thing. I’m sure he’s used to it.”

I refrain from telling Sage that his oh-so-helpful comment is far from helpful; in fact, it highlights exactly what I’m worried about.

Tonight, thunder strikes outside in heavy, booming claps. The room I’ve rented is lowly lit by a single candle, but the flashes of lightning outside the window often light up the entire space. Rain pelts the roof and the wind howls mournfully, as if in empathy of my crushed spirit.

I’m just in the middle of pretending I’m in a sad music video when I hear an unsteady knock at the door. At first, I think it might be a tree branch outside, being as it’s so soft, but then I hear the sound again.

I fling the wool blankets over my head with a huff and shuffle towards the door, then unceremoniously fling it open.

I should have expected it would be my necromancer boyfriend looking like a drenched cat.

Felix is sopping wet, his hair plastered to his forehead and clothes so soaked I can see his tanned skin underneath. As soon as the door opens, his eyes go wide, and he immediately looks as if he’s attempting to say something, but he can’t seem to spit it out. His teeth are chattering so forcefully he can’t speak, and the wind has whipped the wet strands of hair into his mouth.

He is so stupid. I immediately can’t help but think that I love him. I am definitely morosexual.

I blink dazedly at him for a moment, before grabbing his elbows and hastily pulling him inside.

“I’m s-sorry,” he sobs as I grab a blanket off the bed and hastily wrap it around his shoulders. I can’t tell if he’s shaking from crying or the cold, can’t tell if the wetness on his face is from his tears or the rain. “I’m so sorry.”

“Felix, it’s fine. Come here, you’re going to get hypothermia.”

I grab a towel from the bathroom and begin using it to dry his hair. He shakes his head as he pushes it away, sending droplets of water flying. “No! Listen, please, I am sorry, I am. I wish to explain myself. You deserve that much, at least.”

I sigh, then stand back and nod. I sit down on the edge of the bed. The mattress groans, as do I. “Fine.”

Felix pauses as if he didn’t expect that answer.

Then he picks at the frayed strings of the blanket around him. He shivers as he tugs it tighter around his shoulders. He licks his lips. “I wasn’t in a good place when we met.”

I nod. It was obvious then, and it’s even more so now. “I know.”

“It wasn’t healthy. I know that it wasn’t, but-” he cuts off as the thunder outside rumbles, lightning illuminating the haunted look in his eyes. “I loved Rime. More than that, I obsessed over him.”

That much I had guessed, but the confirmation does still twist my stomach.

“I was still in love with him when we met. Desperately so. I clung to the very idea of him for years. Rime adored how I idolized him, he encouraged it-“ he looks out the window as if lost in thought, then sighs. “It wasn’t you. I would’ve compared anyone to him. I did.”

Felix sniffs, then delicately kneels at my feet. “I am so sorry. I promise I didn’t truly think those things, my dear. I just felt so guilty, every time I felt anything for you. I had made myself think that he was perfect, that I could enforce my love for him through some strange sort of self-discipline.” He cringes, as if he knows how awful that sounds. “It seemed reasonable. I owed him my life.”

Apparently having said what he needed, Felix goes quiet. His eyes are red-rimmed, dark circles underneath, as if he’s been crying instead of sleeping ever since I left him.

“You are so incredibly lovely,” he whispers, choking. “I could see it even then. I was scared of what it would do to me to admit it.”

I swallow. I’m honestly not sure whether to believe him, but the look in his eyes is so earnest. Felix is many things, but he’s not one to hide his feelings, nor is he a good actor. I know deep down that he’s not faking his love for me, despite how my heart convinced me otherwise.

“If- If you’re still angry with me, I understand,” Felix stammers, though the tears in his eyes make it seem like that isn’t true. “M-maybe I should leave-“

The rain pounds harder against the windows. The wind whistles through the surrounding cracks. I grab his wrist.

“Come here, my sweet.”

Felix’s eyes widen at my use of my pet name for him, a timid look of disbelief in his eyes as he takes my hand and allows me to pull him onto the bed. I lie down on my back and guide to lay against my chest.

“I forgive you.” I almost can’t believe the words myself, but I know that it’s the only option I could ever consider. I love him. It’s a simple as it is complex.

“You needn’t-“

“I do. It wasn’t right of you to say those things, but it was also unfair of me to get so angry with you over something you wrote a long time ago. I know your old relationship really took a toll on you. Besides, I said some awful things to you too, Felix,” I continue, reaching up to brush his bangs back from his forehead. He trembles, leaning slightly into my touch. “You don’t deserve to be alone. I wanted to hurt you like you hurt me, and I shouldn’t have. Okay?” I wait until he finally nods to continue. “And I’m sorry for going through your things. I betrayed your trust, and you were right to be upset.”

Felix goes a little slack-jawed before he finally breathes out, “O-of course I forgive you.”

“I’m glad, because I don’t think I could live without you.”

He stares at me for a moment longer before he lurches forward and kisses me, desperate and wanting, full to the brim with both apology and forgiveness. It tastes if the salt of his tears and the cold rainwater that runs over his cheeks. He’s shaking the whole time, and I tug him tighter to my chest. I can feel his heart racing through the fabric of our clothes.

“I love you, sweet.”

“I love you too,” Felix hiccups, “so much.”

We spend a bit longer like that, tangled up in the bedsheets with Felix soaking through both our clothes. Eventually, I pull back.

“Did you really wait until it was storming to show up and apologize?”

A sheepish laugh as he flushes. “I had t-thought it would be romantic. Like in my novels. I didn’t realize it was pouring quite so hard.”

His cheeks are a flaming red and he looks away like he expects me to be upset. I sigh to hide my fond smile. All I can do is kiss him again.

“I’ve brought you something,” Felix murmurs, his lips so close to mine that they brush, his eyelashes wet against my cheeks. He reaches back and takes the leather notebook, the stupid source of all our fighting, out of his coat pocket. It’s surprisingly dry.

I can’t help but want to smack that stupid book out of his hand. “Felix, why would you do that?”

He rolls his eyes, then gets up and stands off to the side of the bed. The room lights up green as his entire hand, the journal with it, are suddenly engulfed in flames, until nothing but ashes sift through his fingertips, drifting down to settle against the wooden floor.

“You’re my future.”

He’s so dramatic. I love him to pieces.

I grab his waist and all but tackle him back onto the bed, delighting in his surprised squeak.

“Stop!” Felix yelps as he falls back against the mattress, only to be assaulted by my cuddles, “I’m positively soaked; I’ll drench the sheets.”

I can’t really say that I care. We have a lot of making up to do; I’m not spending a second without him by my side for the rest of the night. Felix grumbles a final complaint and then sighs. He wraps his arms around me and presses his cheek into my chest, and I can’t help but think he feels the same.

“I didn’t enjoy that,” he mumbles, turning his face into me to hide his expression. “Being apart from you, it- hurt. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby.” I’m just realizing how much. His scent and the feel of his hair against my skin, his voice. He’s invaded my senses once more, and it feels like coming back to life.

He turns to look up at me. His cheeks are rosy and his hair mussed, droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes and temples. God, he’s so adorable- I don’t know how I could ever stand to be angry with him. “I don’t want to be at odds with you anymore. I love you too much.”

I boop his perfect nose. “Deal.”

[lvnatiq]

Random Relationship Headcanons | Felix Escellun x gn!reader

a/n: Hey ! On todays menu I am serving you modern au relationship headcanons. I know for a fact that I can’t write headcanons AT ALL yet here we are, out of spite I will keep trying until I can manage to write good shit. I’m going through a chaotic time in my life so please be patient with me 😭

I’m currently working on tattoo artist! reader x Felix headcanons and college!enemies to lovers one-shot. Knowing that Felix’s fav trope is enemies to lovers, I will post it hopefully before his new chapter drops. I used most of the hcs that were sent to me but if you couldn’t see yours, then it will probably be used on the other works.

No beta we die like men.

warnings: curse words, nsfw under the cut, random sage moments, felix being a ‘the neighborhood’ song basically.

You persuade him to start an Instagram account, and because of his family's popularity, he quickly gains followers. His account is practically empty because he would rather spend his time stalking your account on Instagram. You noticed the emptiness and wanted to take him out and take some photos for his account, which turned out amazingly. He is a little camera shy, so be patient with him.

You like to watch him apply his eyeliner but he finds it so stressing to do under your gaze.  He used to be able to do it easily, but it has now become one of his most difficult tasks. You wanted to ask for his assistance in applying eyeliner to you in the hopes of making it simpler for him; he agreed but quickly regretted it when he realized how near your faces would be. You with your eyes closed, waiting for him to drag the line as he was only thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss you. 

Felix has a Polaroid of you and stella in his wallet I said what I said.

When it comes to himself, he can be a pessimist, but when it comes to you, he is the most loving and positive boyfriend you could ever ask for. You have a dream ? He is ready to help you achieve it. Do you want to change in your life ? Go for it, He’s more excited than you are.

He can be quite insecure at times when it comes to your relationship because he feels like you deserve the world but the world is too big for his tiny hands. Will his cuddles be enough ? God he hopes so.

He almost cried when you told him you loved him for the first time. He's also baffled as to how you might feel the same way about him.

Drunk Felix is really clingy and honest. Whatever he can’t say sober drunk felix can and definitely will.

“May the stars let my death be between your glorious thighs amen-“ “Felix-”

Felix is weird but it add to his charm. It’s not unusual for you to wake up in the middle of the night and find the pillow besides yours empty. In the dead of night, you will find Felix munching on some weird ass food combinations.

He also has a habit of doing things that are extremely adorable without even noticing it. Like walking around the house in his oversized shirts, his hand clutching at the cuffs whilst the other one sheepishly rubs his eye.

“Can I lay on your lap ? I promise I won’t fall asleep. I just need to rest for a little.” His voice is so soft and hushed. “Of course, come here.” He throws himself onto you as he comes hopping on his tip toes.

He falls asleep on his desk too often, so you have to carry him back to his room, where he snuggles against you while you lead him there. Once he's in his room, he insists that you stay with him, so you wait until he falls asleep as you play with his hair, and he wakes up thinking it was all a dream.

I firmly believe that Felix’s love language is acts of service. Like making you coffee and bringing you random snacks as you work or wrapping you up in fluffy blankets whenever he catches you slacking on the couch.

He's been romanticizing anything and everything since he met you. When he sees beautiful flowers, he wants to bring them to you, but he also believes that their beauty stems from the fact that they are alive, so he argues and stresses a lot when deciding what to do in simple situations like these.

His edginess belongs to his impulsiveness and his style only at any other situation he's a complete softboy.

And I'm certain he knows a variety of card tricks. He enjoys showing off, and he enjoys it even more when you become fascinated and beg him to share the trick.

If you're a morning person, you'll probably spend your mornings alone in solitude, finishing work before the day begins, but if you're a night owl, you and Felix will go out for night walks and Felix would go out for night walks, sharing headphones to play some music, enjoy each others presence and develop a habit of watching the sunrise together.

Felix makes you playlists at the most random times and with the most random names. Until one day he sent you a playlist at around 4 a.m called “you”, filled with his favorite music. He usually sees music as a safe space for himself and now that you are his safe place too it’s only appropriate for him to do so. This only further proves how he spends his time thinking about you.

I feel like Felix would have what most would call "attachment issues" but it’s mainly because of his protective tendencies. This is not to say that he’s this "overly jealous toxic" character; rather, he has never had anyone to truly call his own in his entire life so he would do anything to protect it.

Felix is also big on astrology, so if you want the perfect birth chart, he'll give it to you. Also he owns a lovely deck of tarot cards, and if you ask him for a love reading, he can't manage to keep his words and feelings to himself so he modifies your reading according to him and his desires. Let the boy abuse his powers for the sake of love.

His style could be described as dark academia, his wardrobe mainly consists of dark colors, lots and lots of blazers and a lot of oversized shirts. He also loves jewelry so he owns a lot of rings and chains. Just so you know, if you're wearing any of his rings, his heart is doing cartwheels.

Is it obvious that he loves it when you place your hand in his and play with his rings with your fingertips.

Spoil him. Buy him that baby blue hoodie with cat ears.

“Ah, you look adorable.” “Isn’t it a bit too b-big ?” “You could say that. Do you mind ?” “No, I like it that way.” “I would know.” You smirk followed by felix’s gasp. “If you so desperately wanted a cat boy you know you have me right ?” Nudging your shoulder, Sage leapt into the conversation. “What is he talking about ?”  Felix grumbled, only to notice two fuzzy triangular fabrics on top of his head as he brushed his fingertips over it.

He’s obsessed with your hands, kissing your knuckles, drawing circles in your palm. At a certain point it became an involuntary gesture he does it quite often without realizing.

He’s also canonically extremely blushy but he would never admit it. You’re convinced he uses some sort of make up because it is not possible for the pink dusting his cheeks to look this good.

He insists that you’re cold even in the warmest weathers because he wants to see you in his coat.

Sage forces Felix to take his thirst trap Tiktoks.

He really appreciates it when you add to his herbal tea collection without him noticing and he considers it a sign of affection because he takes his tea very seriously.

He loses it when you call him baby he gets flustered and frustrated but it’s all because it rolls off of your tongue so nicely that he can’t get enough of it.

Felix owns a broad collection of scented lip balms some of them are tinted. You didn’t hear this from me.

He never once took anything the Sage says seriously until he saw how well you two got along. He never thought that he would be standing there taking relationship and flirting advice from the frat boy.

Felix is a complete asshole when he wants to. He’s very verbal about it too. Consistent sarcastic remarks and eye rolls. I mean it runs in his blood, look at Escell.

You love it when he suddenly whips out the confident Felix, it’s not a daily occurrence you know.

When Felix is concentrated, he’s lost and there’s almost no way you or anything else can distract him. So it’s time to grab some colorful hair clips and ties to fuck around with his hair.

Felix is not the best at verbally expressing his gratitude towards you. He doesn’t know what he would do if you weren’t there for him at the lowest points of his life where normally he would close himself and bare the weight of his family problems and personal life issues that he can’t seem to get out of. Now he has you, someone who’s willing to listen to him and offer him a warm embrace when he needs the most. 

While you to play games together, when he wins he wears that iconic shit eating grin of his with pride looking at you through the corner of his eye. “Shit, what do you want me to say to that felix ? Perhaps I should call you master now that you won ‘one’ fucking round.” He is praying that the screen light is covering the fact that he is a blushy mess after hearing you say that.

NSFW

I cannot stress this enough but he is extremely vocal in bed. Whining, trying to restrict himself from making too much noise but failing miserably.

Muffled pants, choked sobs and lots of pleasure infused tears.

He loves getting praised during sex but what he loves more is to get praised after it’s all over. Like you telling him how great he was, how well he behaved, how good he made you feel. He experiences sub drops a lot so please assure him that he did well :(

He’s into power-play but not in a submissive or dominant kind of relationship, it’s more of a psychological thing where the fact that he can see how good he makes you feel gives him a rush of confidence and adrenaline.

I believe that this motherfucker is a masochist, pain makes him more excited than getting an update on his favorite author who went on a year long hiatus and that is saying a lot.

Bite him. Scratch him. It is so stimulating for him he can reach his high just from those actions.

Fuck do anything to his ears bite, lick, pull, blow on it. He is extremely sensitive so anything you do will basically drive him out of his mind. It will most definitely lead to him trembling beneath your fingertips.

You must think that you are the only one who is such a tease but you’re wrong. Felix teases you quite often mostly to direct your attention towards him or to keep your attention on him. He’s quite greedy when it comes to you and your hands on his body. Unbuttoning unnecessary amount of buttons on his shirt to show a little skin that he knows you’ll notice. Playing with his necklace placing the chain between his lips dragging it towards the inside of his bottom lip teasing the metallic charm with the tip of his tongue. He definitely ain’t oblivious he knows exactly what he’s doing and he makes sure that you know exactly what he’s doing.

When he’s in the mood he will tug the hem of your top meanwhile his eyes are glued to the floor or graze the temples of his glasses between his lips, his teeth lightly nibbling the pointy edge. He loves to play dumb too. When you question him, he acts like he doesn’t intend anything and that you need to get your head out of the gutter.

At the end of the session Felix looks divine. Drool leaking down from his bottom lip to his jaw line towards his neck, his bangs sticking on his sweat coated forehead, his chest rising up and down quickly. His eyes rolled at the back of his head, his hands still clutching tightly to the sheets. Faint whimpers and deep breaths filling the air.

Leading up to the after care, his shy self returns. He buries his face to your chest hiding his blushy cheeks beneath the palms of his hands.

He likes to experiment a lot and you are his favorite subject.

It shouldn’t be surprising to find random kink definitions or role-play ideas on the search history of your laptop. After all Felix just asked for it to write an email, that’s all there is to it. That’s until you offer to try them out.

He doesn’t act upon his jealousy, what he does instead is that leaving marks on you especially around your neck and your chest where he knows it will show. Don’t cover them up if you don’t wanna deal with him.

“People just don’t appreciate art anymore.” “Felix these are, hickeys.” “Oh so now you are judging my art medium ?” “Since when proving Sage that I got railed by you is a form of art ?”

I didn’t see anyone point this out but whenever he is in the sub space he tends to be more on the bratty side. He starts of shy but his confidence builds up as the tension rises. Meaning that you should be ready to get your patience tested.

When you two are in separate places your suggestive words and tone leads up to phone sex, which Felix secretly fantasized about a lot. What made everything even more dirty was the fact that you didn’t know that he was laying on your bed surrounded by your scent and humping your pillow. Once you come back home you are greeted with a fresh pair of sheets on your bed. Apparently Felix decided to do you a favor and clean your room as well as the the whole house. He’s crossing fingers that you don’t notice because he knows that he’ll never hear the end of it.

Felix knows a lot about sex but his knowledge is based upon fiction rather than experience. So, naturally, he is more interested about learning specifically how your body responds to certain actions, what you enjoy and what you’re interested in so teach him. He’s a good student and oh well he’s a quick learner.

Pull his hair pull his hair put his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair pull his hair.

When he settles between your legs as he ties his hair, he places the hairband between his lips and looks up at you with half lidded eyes. It’s his definition of torture.

Even though he doesn’t give off that vibe, he is very freaky if you would’ve known what his AO3 tags consisted of you would agree.

Tag list is open

[kitsunekissesxo]

Demon Bros Pet Names HCs and Scenarios

Demon Brothers Pet Names Headcanons and Kiss Scenarios

Summary: Headcanons of the brother’s petnames for you, vice versa, gender neutral MC, fluff kisses  <3

Warnings: Implied nsfw, suggestive, somewhat explicit

Lucifer:

Oh, Lucifer. This man may seem cold but on the inside, and when the two of you are alone, he’s the biggest softie. Like, big softie.

His pet names are more...traditional, if you will. He absolutely despises pet names such as baby, babe, honey, etc., so don’t expect him to use them. If you use them on him, expect a wrinkled nose and a grimace.

His personal favorites are my beloved, my rose, my darling, my love, my dear. He’s very possessive of you and intends to make sure his pet names for you further prove that.

He allows you to call him Luci and LuLu when you’re alone, and, even though he vehemently denies it, he finds it incredibly endearing. Other than that, he isn’t very fond of pet names for himself.

However, he simply adores when you call him your love. He might be possessive of you, but it fills him with so much pride knowing that you want others to know he’s yours as well. 

During sex, you 100% call him Daddy and Sir if you’re into that. If not, his love-making is so intense that you can only manage to utter out his name- and he loves that. It really strokes his ego wink wink

Lucifer absolutely adores calling you princess/my prince during sex, no matter what the mood is. He finds the way it makes your face flush irresistible. 

“Luuuuciiiiii,” you whined out impatiently, attempting to get your boyfriend’s attention. He’d had his nose stuck in paperwork for hours now and you were in some serious need of attention. “You haven’t so much as looked up at me in the past, like, 10 hours,” you pouted.

Finally he raised his head to lock eyes with you. Dark circles marred his beautifully pale skin, showing the effect of the overwhelming workload he was forcing himself to push through. You felt your heart ache at the sight of him, all signs of impatience leaving you to be replaced with a look of worry.

He gave you a weak smile while resting his head in his hand. All you wanted was to wrap him up in your arms and play with his hair as he napped against your chest. So that’s exactly what you went to do- love him.

You stepped towards him, his tired eyes looking up at you quizically.

“My love, please take a break. You’re exhausted. Please,” you softly pleaded, reaching your hand out to hold his cheek, thumb swiping back and forth soothingly.

He closed his eyes and pressed himself into your hand, letting out a content sigh, bringing his own hand up to hold yours to his face. Your heart swelled with love- early on the in the relationship, he’d flinch when you’d try to touch him. Now he treasured every carress you had to offer.

“Come here darling,” he murmured, motioning for you to climb into his lap. You did as he asked, straddling his lap and lacing your hands together at the nape of his neck.

The way he looked at you with such adoration made your heart race. You leaned down to capture his lips in a sweet, loving kiss. His hands came up to press you closer to him, one hand threading into your hair and the other pressing on your lower back. Your fingers played with the hair on the nape of his neck.

He pulled away slightly to whisper against your lips,

“You always know how to stir up these feelings in me, my dear.”

Mammon:

This man adores the cheesy petnames. Like the tsundere he is though, he denies it with a blush so intense it reaches his ears.

He doesn’t even use petnames for you when your relationship first begins. The tsundere is strong with this one.

At first, it seems like all he ever wants to call you is “his human”. And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed

Until one fateful day, he called you. You picked up the phone eagerly and to your surprise he uttered out a, “Hey babe, are ya busy right now? Ya better not be- come to my room asap.”

Needless to say, you could have sworn your heart skipped a beat

Mammon’s pet names of choice include, but aren’t limited to, sugar, baby doll, dollface, doll, baby, babe, honey bun/honey bunny

He loves anything that will make you smile, though. It’s his favorite thing in the whole world.

During intimate times he mainly sticks to calling you baby and baby doll, expect him to desperately moan that into the crook of your neck as he begs you to continue

He blushes, stammers, tells you to stop, but then tells you to not stop when you call him pet names. He not-so-secretly loves it, and you know it.

You like to call him mammonie, monmon, baby/babe, handsome, and my prince. Just to mess with him and to see that cute flush of red on his gorgeous tan skin. It’s also undeniably cute and cheesy

During sex, he absolutely adores being called baby boy. It really gets him going. This boy is a sub

You were scribbling school notes in your notepad, studying for the upcoming exam when your D.D.D rang. You sighed, setting your pencil down and reaching for your D.D.D to see who was interrupting your study session.

It was Mammon.

Of course it was. You adored him, you really did, but his timing was pretty awful. You answered and put the phone up to your ear with your shoulder so you could continue copying down some notes that Satan so generously lent you.

“Yo, yo, yo! Babe, are ya busy? Ya better not be- come to my room asap!” He exclaimed happily.

The phone fell from your shoulder and onto your notepad. You had felt your heart skip a beat. He called you babe.

“U-uh...MC? MC??? That was an accident. I aint mean it. Just...come to my room. Hello? Human, are ya even there??” He stammered on nervously.

You scrambled to pick the phone up, responding in a teasing tone, “Mammon. Three things. 1: I heard that. 2: I’m studying. 3: I heard you call me that.”

You could hear him huff on the other end. He was seriously too cute, too easily flustered.

“Just drop it, wouldja? I aint mean it! Now get your ass over here- I dont care if you’re studying. No one makes The Great Mammon wait!!”

You could practically see him puff his chest out. You just wanted to engulf him in a hug and ruffle his snowy locks so badly. 

With a grin, you taunted, “Okay, babe. I’ll be right over.”

You hung up just as he began to sputter and protest, checked yourself in the mirror, sprayed some perfume/cologne on, and began to make your way to Mammon’s room.

As you reached Mammon’s room, you thanked all your lucky stars that you didn’t run into any of the brothers. Without warning, you swung Mammon’s door open, and he jumped with a shriek.

“Jeez, ya scared the livin’ evil outta me, human!” he exclaimed, clutching his t-shirt near his heart. His cheeks were already tinted a lovely blushed hue against his beautifully tanned skin.

“Awww, sorry Monmon. Didn't mean to startle you,” you poked, watching as he crossed his arms over his chest, beginning to protest that you didn't, in fact, frighten him.

You quickly leaned forward to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He froze, and you could practically hear his heart race. You pulled away, both hands coming up to the nape of his neck as he just stared at you, mouth slightly open, his face bright red. 

“You worry too much, baby.” You teased him, a smile playing on your lips.

And then he leaned in to return your kiss, hands settling on your lower back gingerly

Needless to say, he began to “accidentally” continue to call you endless pet names. He really did love them and you

Leviathan:

Please, for the love of all things unholy, please let this shy boy call you silly pet names. He adores them, simply because it makes you giggle, and he loves knowing that he’s the one making you laugh

Levi appears as though he doesn’t feel shame, but we know he just hides it really well. However, he still rambles to anyone and everyone about Ruri-chan and anime, so he won’t mind you using pet names for eachother around other people

Because of his anxiety though, he probably won’t be too keen on that idea at first. Will his brothers laugh at him? Surely they’ll think he’s gross and creepy regarding his choice of pet names, right? Wrong. Ensure to him that he doesn’t have to do anything that he isn’t comfortable with, and if anyone judges them then they’re just normies. He’ll love you forever.

Levi’s most used pet names for you are sunshine, cutie, snookums, goofball, and player 2

Sunshine is his personal favorite because humans seem to associate happiness with the sun, and you’re his main source of happiness. So why wouldn’t he call you that?

He also refers to you as his player 2 a lot. You’re not only his lover, but his best friend. His partner in crime. His Henry. 

Calling him pet names is undoubtedly one of your favorite things. He stutters, blushes such a deep shade of red, and tries to hide his face behind his hands. Please take ahold of wrists, move them from his face, take hold of his face, and place a kiss on his nose. You want Levi.exe to stop working? K.O’d? Do that.

Your favorite pet names for him are Leviachan, cutie, sweetie, handsome devil, baby boy, my sweet prince, etc. Anything that helps boost his confidence is a good pet name in your book.

During sex, Levi would hardly be able to form a coherent sentence, so I imagine your name would fall from his bitten lips like a mantra

If you’re into it, he would be down to call you master/mistress, 100%

Most of the time you call him baby boy and sweet boy and needy during sex. I HC that he’s very submissive and melts at your endearing yet dominating pet names for him.

We also know it’s canon that Levi has a degradation kink- so use it. Call him a whore, pervert, slut, needy bitch. He’ll let out the sweetest whines and whimpers.

“Levi, sweetie, I promise it’s okay. Nothing happened between Mammon and I. We just went shopping,” You gently explained to a very frazzled Levi.

He was sitting in his gaming chair, anime paused, arms crossed, avoiding your gaze, and pouting. A frown also adorned his troubled features.

He refused to answer you.

“Levi, please speak to me,” you tried again, reaching out to take ahold of his hand.

You offered your hand to him gingerly. He studied it for a moment, and then, with a blush beginning to spread across his cheeks, he complied and laced his fingers with yours. He heaved a sigh as you swiped your thumb against his hand soothingly.

“I know, MC. I trust you. It just makes my blood boil knowing you’re out with him instead of being with me....I don’t really blame you though, I guess. I’m a gross and yucky otaku. I wouldn’t want to hang out with me either,” he grumbled, his voice cracking near the end, along with your heart. You wished so badly he wouldn’t talk so down on himself all the time.

It was time to show Levi just how much he meant to you.

You surged forward to engulf your serpent-like boyfriend in a bone-crushing hug. He let out a squeak, his arms coming up in surprise.

“Leviachan, I wish you saw how much I love you. I love spending time with you. I love playing games with you. I love watching anime with you. I love listening to you rant and ramble about them. I love how passionate you are. You’re so cute when you get like that, yknow?” You murmured to him with as much love as you could muster.

Suddenly his arms were wrapped around you, hugging you tightly to him. He planted a kiss on the top of your head before nuzzling his nose into your hair.

“You normie,” he whispered, “you’re really too much. I think you’re the only person who can find my ranting endearing.”

You pulled away with a pretend frown on your face, lacing your fingers with his once more.

“Normie? Again? Really Leviachan? In what way am I a normie?” You prodded, grinning at him.

He blushed, looking down at your intertwined hands.

“I suppose you’re not really that much of a normie. You do nerd out with me, to be fair...” He grinned back at you- a genuine grin, at that. It warmed your heart.

Before you could say anything else, Levi surged forward to place a chaste kiss on your lips. It was gone as soon as it was there. You blinked, wide eyed at him. His face was ablaze- you didn’t think you had ever seen him so flushed. You didn’t even know he had the confidence in him to do that.

In a rare moment of softness, he whispered

“I love you, sunshine. I really do. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my player 2.” 

Satan:

Satan is the absolute best in the business at hiding his true intentions; after all, all smiles are an act

Except... you actually stir up feelings of love within him, and it drives his curiosity through the roof

He appears to be very confident so his brothers opinions don’t really matter to him. He’s also awfully petty, so I imagine he moreso uses pet names for you around them to simply dangle in their faces that only he can do that

That doesn’t change the fact that every time you use a pet name for him, hes face flushes an adorable red before he sorts himself out

His favorite pet names for you are sweetheart, kitten, darling, little kitty, gorgeous, wildflower, and my sweet girl/sweet boy

We all know this man is into pet play, so his most used nicknames for you are kitten and little kitty. During and not during intimate times. 

During sex, Satan calls you all sorts of endearing terms- he’s a master of dirty talking. It’s filthy yet simultaneously charming. Kitten, darling, and your name roll off of his tongue the most. If you’re into it, he will definitely degrade you, calling you a needy whore, filthy slut, cumslut, cumrag, fuck toy, you name it and he’ll use it. He’d most likely be opposed to calling you a bitch- it feels too hurtful for him.

You love to call him handsome, my bookworm, stud(teasingly), good looking, and babe/baby. Each and every one earns a chuckle and a momentary blush from him, so it’s definitely worth it. 

Want his attention when he’s too busy reading? Call out his name a few times- he can hear you, but he chooses to ignore you. Bring out the pet names and he’ll be burying his blushing face into his book, completely flustered. He takes a moment to compose himself before tutting at you. You interrupted his very important reading- how naughty.

When Satan’s feeling dominant, he’s dominant. He demands that you call him Sir or Master during sex. He doesn’t mind being called Daddy, but it doesn’t get him going quite like the other two do. When he’s feeling more submissive, absolutely call him your handsome boy. Pet gets him riled up as well- use it from time to time.

You couldn’t believe just how beautiful the sight in front of you was. The stars in the Devildom seemed to burn brighter and more fiercely than the ones in the human world. You were almost entranced by them, not wanting to tear your eyes away from the gorgeous nighttime sky.

That is, until you felt the hand that was holding yours give a gentle squeeze. You quickly turned your head to make eye contact with his emerald gaze. The main emotion you could see in Satan’s eyes was adoration, and suddenly your heart was being squeezed as well as your hand.

Here you were, taking a late night stroll in the Devildom with Satan, the night sky painted with deep clouds and bright stars, and he was looking at you like you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He had taken you to what appeared to be a park. You walked along the path hand in hand as you took in every little detail. The deep greenish blue bushes were hiding little critters, the pond had a fountain that splashed around the deep blue water, there were bugs that looked and acted an awful lot like lightning bugs(Satan explained that they were practically the same except that these were called Hell Fire Bugs, were only found in the Devildom, and had little horns that adorned their head), there were giant flowers of golden and orange hues everywhere, and, to your delight, there was a little wooden bench sat right in the perfect spot.

“Satan, can we sit down?” You asked with a smile, motioning to the bench. “I love where it’s positioned; you can take in everything perfectly!” You peered up at him to see that a gentle smile was gracing his features. 

“Of course we can sit down, darling. Are your legs feeling tired of walking as well?” He pondered. After all, he wasn’t completely sure what a human’s threshold for walking distance was.

“Mm, a little bit,” you admitted, absentmindedly rubbing your arm. You’d gotten so caught up in his presence and the sights around you that you’d only just now noticed the beginning of a burning sensation in your legs.

“That’s a shame. I guess I’ll have to carry you to the bench then, huh, kitten?” He said, flashing you a sly smile.

Protests left your mouth but to no avail. You were already thrown over his shoulder, his long fingers resting on your bum, giving a gentle pat. He was comfortably warm, and you were lying if you said you couldn’t stay in his strong arms forever.

You were giggling, squirming, demanding that he put you down that instant- but you both knew how much you loved it. His grip tightened on you as a warning.

“Kitty, if you keep squirming, I’ll have to punish you. It’s not nice to deny my kind gestures.” He teasingly warned, giving a harsher smack to your bum. And at that, you huffed, but calmed down.

He gently set you down on the bench, caressing your face before sitting down next to you, reaching out to grab ahold of your hand once again. You gladly took his hand in yours, sighing contentedly as he swiped his thumb soothingly against yours.

You leaned in closer to him, pressing against his side, and placed a gentle peck on his cheek. His skin was so soft, so warm. Welcoming. You couldn’t have felt more safe, more comfortable, more at home than you did in this moment. He let out a light chuckle.

“Are you happy now?” He murmured, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you flush against his side. You curled your arms around his arm closest to you, resting your head on his broad shoulder. You breathed in deeply, taking in his calming scent. He smelled like old books and tea. “I couldn’t be happier.” You whispered out. Your heart was so full, you could hardly take it.

“Good, I’m glad,” He warmly responded, and began to absentmindedly play with your hair as you both enjoyed the scenery in a comfortable silence. 

“Hey, Satan?” You gingerly asked after a few minutes. He gave a hum in response.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” You admitted, feeling your face heat up.

He craned his neck to peer down at you, you pulling away gently to look at him.

“You truly are something else. You want to stay with me, a demon, forever? Are you sure about that?” He inquired, secretly hoping you wouldn’t backtrack. And you didn’t.

“I’ve never been more sure in my life. I love you.” You whispered back.

His only response were gentle hands coming up to cup your face, his lips softly melting against yours.

Asmodeus:

Naturally, as the Avatar of Lust, pet names are his forte. He calls you pet names about as often as he tries to cop a feel- so, very often

He loves using them in front of anyone and everyone, shame just isn’t a word in his vocabulary. He finds cute nicknames incredibly endearing and genuinely wonders why everyone doesn’t feel the same way about them.

He high-key expects you to use pet names for him as well. Let EVERYONE know he’s your beautiful boy, dammit. Its obvious but it makes him feel happy, so you’re more than willing to comply. 

His personal favorite pet names for you include, but aren’t limited to, cherub, dear, little darling, angel face, doll face, honey/hun, bunbun, love bug, lover, and mi amor. 

He simply loves to do anything and everything you want him to do to please you, but he expects the same energy in return. 

So, during intimate times, if you want him to degrade you he will. It just isn’t his favorite thing to do- he’d rather worship you and make you feel on top of the world with honey dripping words. Therefore, during sex, he prefers to call you darling, baby, baby girl/baby boy, princess/my prince, beautiful, etc. If you want him to call you mommy/daddy, master/mistress, or sir/madam, he absolutely will. Anything to please you.

Your pet names of choice for him include asmobaby, asmo, lover boy, cutie, beau, charmer, eye candy, heart breaker, heart throb, etc.

“How’s my favorite heart breaker doing?” “Feeling a little frisky, are we, lover boy?” “You see that absolute eye candy over there? That’s my boyfriend”

During sex, you call Asmo anything and everything you want. He’s down to try and do anything, so he’s all yours. He’ll do the same for you. However, he does love being praised- so please use praising pet names for him like gorgeous, handsome, sexy, etc

The most passionate and intense lover you will ever have, and his endless pet names are only the tip *wink wink* of the iceberg. 

For once in the Devildom, you were freezing. Your nose was numb, red, just an icicle, really. 

Asmo had dressed you up with a pompom hat, fluffy earmuffs, and a giant puffy coat with gloves to match in attempts to keep you warm in the Devildom’s famous ice rink. Of course, his entire outfit matched yours with a lovely complimentary color. He figured it was enough for him, so surely his little cherub was warm and snug, right? Wrong. Somewhat wrong, anyway. You were still cold and made a point to complain about it to Asmo. 

“Dear, I promise I will warm you up as soon as we leave, just please do this for me?” He begged, holding your gloved hands in his own. His pinkish-yellow hued eyes stared into your own hopefully, and you knew you could never turn down those puppy eyes of his.

He cheered excitedly when you agreed and took you by the hand over to the rink. He turned around to face you, an expectant expression on his face. He took your hand and placed his lips on the backside, winking up at you, before murmuring, “Watch and learn mi amor!”

With wide eyes you watched as Asmo skated off, moving with incredible balance and grace. Every move was intentional; he looked stunning in this state. Here he was, skating a lutz, an axel, a salchow, everything. He was professional level talented, and he never told you! And, oh, yes, you. You could skate, but not well. 

“Asmobaby, I didn’t know you were so talented at this!” You exclaimed as he approached you, an accomplished smile adorning his features. You skated over to him, his hand reaching out to grab yours as you skated together side by side.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I love how graceful it looks,” he responded, as you noticed how the tip of his nose was beginning to turn red. His breathing was still a little irregular, his breath coming out in puffs, the cold making the cloud of breath visible. He was so beautiful.

“Darling, if you keep staring at me like that, I won’t be able to control myself,” he teased, squeezing your hand.

You quickly averted your eyes, your face flushing at being caught.

“Oh, don't be embarrassed, MC! There’s nothing wrong with admiring beauty! I do it with you all the time, you know.” He winked, and you had to slap away a wandering hand, leaving a very pouty Asmo.

You attempted to get closer to give him a kiss to make up for it, but you lost your balance, falling right onto your bum. Asmo gasped, made sure you were okay, and then giggled at you.

“Asmo!! I just fell!! On ice!! And you’re laughing!” you feigned offense, resting your hand over your chest. “And I was going to give you a kiss, too!”

Asmo leaned down to help you up, murmuring, “You can’t help but fall for my charming self, hm, love bug?”, and pressed a loving kiss to your chilly lips. His nose bumped against yours, somehow still warm to the touch. You were so enraptured by his lips that you hadn’t even realized he’d gotten you back on your feet.

“How about we...continue this later?” Asmo whispered as you pulled away.

“Oh, you better. You promised to warm me up, lover boy” You huffed, beginning to skate off with him again. “Don’t have to ask me twice, doll. I’ll show you my love allllll night. Now, watch this next trick- it’s absolutely stunning!”

Beelzebub:

This wholesome boy honestly doesn’t understand pet names at first

“Why would I call you a baby, MC, you’re clearly a grown human??”

Even after you explain it to him, he still doesn’t really get it, but it makes you happy, and he’ll do anything to make you happy

When you tell him that he doesn’t have to call you baby/babygirl/babyboy, that he can use almost anything, he lights up.

“My cheesebur-” “No, Beel, anything but that”

Once he somewhat gets the gist of petnames, his preferred ones for you are love muffin, pumpkin, cookie, honey, sweetheart, gum drop, and cupcake

Occasionally calls you his cheeseburger just to enjoy your reaction

Please, please, please, don’t be mean about it. this baby's feelings are hurt so easily and he always means well 

You favorite pet names for him are Beel, beelzeburger,  big guy/big boy, bunny,/honey bun, bonbon, sweet boy, honeybee, Cookie Monster, and handsome

Each time you call him something other than his name, he blushes profusely, his lips upturned in a happy smile

Adores everything you call him, even if its incredibly cheesy because he loves cheese you chose those pet names for him specifically, and he feels honored

During sex, he’s so focused on how good it feels and trying to not hurt you that anything that comes to mind rolls off of his tongue when he speaks, which isn’t often

mainly calls you by your name, but he loves to use babygirl/babyboy if you like it

he also prefers for you to call out his name, as other names don’t really do much for him. if you’re into it, though, I'm sure he won't mind if you call him daddy. will be incredibly confused the first time you gasp it out though

“Huh? Is your father here? Or did you call me that? You’re not my child, though...?”

The music was loud- blaring, actually, and your head was beginning to ache.

Lord Diavolo was holding a party at his castle, with almost every one of his friends invited- it was a huge party. Everyone was sat down at tables or were out on the dance floor. Lucifer was chatting it up with Barbatos, Simeon, Luke(who was just following Simeon around), and Lord Diavolo, Satan was sipping some demonus while flipping through the pages of a book, absentmindedly chatting with Solomon, Mammon and Asmo were participating in some dance competition, Levi was playing his switch with his headphones on, and Belphie was napping on Beel’s shoulder. 

You were sitting at the table with Satan and Solomon, feeling particularly uninterested in their talk of spells and magic. The music was nice, and Mammon and Asmo looked like they were having fun, but you didn’t have the energy to tear it up on the dance floor. You heaved a sigh, feeling insufferably bored.

And that’s when your eyes landed on Beel. Belphie had his cow print pillow resting in the crook of Beel’s neck, snuggling himself into Beel. He was zonked. And poor Beel was munching on whatever food he had left on his plate, looking just as bored as you- at this rate, he wouldn’t have any food left, and soon. 

Making your mind up, you got up from the table and made your way over to Beel. As you got closer, Beel lifted his head at your approaching footsteps and smiled when he saw that it was you- you swore it made your heart beat faster.

“Gum drop! I was wondering when you would come over.” He smiled, motioning for you to take the seat next to him. Belphie continued to snooze on. 

“Actually, Beel, I was wondering if you wanted to go to the kitchen with me? Your supply on food is low, cookie monster ..” You murmured in his ear. He nodded, and went to wake up Belphie. Talking to him didn’t work, shaking didn’t work, nothing did. Beel carefully moved Belphie’s pillow on the table, his head now resting on Beel’s shoulder, and then gently moved Belphie’s head to rest on his pillow. He continued his little cat nap, completely unbothered. 

Beel stood up, took your hand in his, and led you to kitchen.

You lifted yourself up on the counter to sit, watching as Beel opened every cabinet and drawer, rummaging for something else to devour. He finally made his way to the fridge and freezer, and let out a delighted laugh when he discovered a pint of hellish nightshade ice cream.

“Wanna share?” He asked, smiling and showing you the ice cream container.

“Uh, Beel, can humans even eat nightshade? Won’t it kill me?” You inquired, fairly sure that nightshade would kill you dead.

“Oh, no, it won’t. Barbatos said there’s different kinds of nightshade that won’t hurt humans and Lord Diavolo made sure that everything here is human-proof!” He happily exclaimed, already grabbing two spoons. 

If it did kill you, well, that was Lucifer’s problem because you were gonna enjoy some ice cream with your boyfriend.

Beel began to happily eat the sweet treat, you taking bites whenever you could get your spoon in. He noticed you were having some troubles and shyly apologized, retreating his spoon so you could get a good bite.

And oh, you did. It was a heaping spoonful, resulting in ice cream getting on the corners of your mouth. You didn’t know why Beel was suddenly staring ravenously at you instead of the ice cream.

“You have ice cream on your mouth,” he murmured, leaning in closer to you, his face inches away from yours. Your breath sped up.

“Wanna help me clean it off?” Was all you needed to ask before his mouth was on yours, delicately licking off the ice cream. His hands rested gently on your waist, your own hands resting on his broad shoulders. He pulled back gently, a buzzing sound emanating from him.

“I always love your taste,” he exclaimed happily, blush spreading across his cheeks. 

You leaned back in for another syrupy sweet kiss, Beel all too happy to oblige.

Belphegor:

ah, our favorite eboy

he thinks pet names are cute and he really enjoys them, but he’ll never outwardly say that. he might mention it to you when you’re half asleep, though

gets all blushy blushy uwu when you use them around other people, but he doesn't mind. don't expect him to use them on you around other people, though- that's mostly for when you're alone

when he's really happy to see you or really sleepy he’ll use pet names for you regardless of who is around

he finds it to be very intimate so he likes keeping it to yourselves

his favorite pet names for you are dork, cuddle bug, star, teddy bear, and pillow pet

he loves stars and stargazing, and especially loves stargazing with you so he figured why not combine two things he loves and call you his star

he also loves to snuggle you, so you're practically his personal teddy bear- and he wouldnt have it any other way 

you're favorite pet names for him are cowboy, Little Dipper, cuddle monster, snuggle bug, belpharoo, belphie/belpie, and sleepy prince

during sex, belphie likes to call you his cowgirl when he's feeling more dom. he seems like a bratty power bottom/sub, so he’ll call you master/mistress, mommy/daddy if you like that, but he’ll give you shit for it. other than that, your name falls from his lips in breathy moans and whines

you tend to call him baby boy, sweet prince, brat, good/bad boy, naughty boy during sex. he loves being called a bad/naughty boy, PLEASE do it, it really gets him going 

You woke with a start, eyes blinking a few times as you looked around you. You had fallen asleep in the Planetarium. stargazing with Belphie. Oh yeah, Belphie. You turned your head to see he was still fast asleep, holding onto your arm with a death grip. You knew waking him would be fun.

“Belphie? Bellphiiieeeee...” You whispered in his ear, which earned you a little bit of stirring from him. 

“Belpharooooo, it’s wakey time,” You said a bit more loudly, beginning to rub his shoulder.

His eyes fluttered open sleepily, his amethyst gaze meeting yours warmly. He stretched his arms out with an adorably soft yawn, his shirt riding up to expose his soft yet toned abdomen. He gave you a sleepy smile.

“I love waking up to the sight and sound of you, teddy bear” he murmured out, clinging onto you once again, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. Your own arm was wrapped around him, the other coming up to lazily play with his hair. He let out an almost purring sound, attempting to get as close to you as possible.

“Uh uh, Belphie, we can’t go back to sleep yet. We’re still in the Planetarium- let’s go to bed, okay my sleepy prince?” You cooed, patting his back to get him to sit up.

With a huff, he sat up, but demanded you pull him up by his arms, giving you the sweetest smile in return. He complained the entire way to his and Beel’s room, his hand gripping yours loosely as you lead him forward.

Beel wasn’t there when you arrived which disappointed you both a bit, but you figured he’d be back soon and with some snacks, too, so that was a plus.

Immediately Belphie flopped onto his bed, hardly giving you enough time to crawl into bed beside him before he cocooned himself with blankets. He turned to face you, eyes glazed over, and yawned once more. You yawned in return, the both of you giggling. His amethyst eyes never left you, even when his hair fell into his face. You gently brushed the strands of navy blue hair out of his eyes, giving him a soft smile as his own hand came up to keep your hand pressed against his face. He nuzzled into your hand, sighing happily, before you wrapped your arms around him loosely. 

“Goodnight, teddy bear” he murmured as you both drifted off to sleep once more.

A few hours had passed when you woke again , only to find that Belphie had not only pushed you to the edge of the bed, but had also stolen all of the covers and blankets. You were chilly without either of those. 

You shook him, earning a groan from the sleepy demon. 

“Belphie I love you but I swear I will execute you if you don’t give some blankets back” you lightheartedly threatened, opting to lay your body across his.

“I don't know what you’re talking about,” he murmured, nuzzling further into his pillows.

“Oh no, you don’t. I literally have no covers! You have all of them! I’m freezing!” you exclaimed desperately. 

He poked his head out of his cocoon, a mischievous glint in those amethyst eyes, his hair sticking up in random spots.

“If you want a blanket so bad, then come get one from me.” He dared you, a smile playing on his sleepy features.

You immediately began your assault by tickling his sides, which resulted in him laughing, gasping, and trying to swat you away. You began giggling with him, not stopping your violent attack on the poor helpless demon. Your torture went on for a few minutes before he finally gave in. 

“Okay, okay! I give in! You can have all the blankies you want, I swear!” he puffed out heavily, tears forming in his eyes from being tickled and laughing so much.

You smiled triumphantly as he let you into his little blanket cocoon, immediately becoming engulfed by warmth and his scent. You were waiting for both of your breaths to even out as you heard a low voice say,

“Hey, I know you guys love each other and all but it’s 4am and I’m kinda trying to sleep”

You looked at Belphie, holding back a giggle as he gave an apology to poor Beel. 

You snuggled up to Belphie once again, beginning to feel sleep take over your body for the 3rd time that day. You fell asleep before Belphie, so you never felt the soft kiss he planted on your forehead and the sweetest “I love you so much” he whispered in your ear.

I hope you enjoyed this! I loved finally writing for all of the brothers- It was so much fun figuring out how to incorporate their personality into my own writing style. Let me know if you’d like me to do a version of this with the undateables! As always, all feedback is appreciated. <3

[smuggsy]

Remember this post about how Riddler dug up Elijah's body and we just... collectively chose to ignore it along with Oswald? 😂

Well. I un-ignored it. With a sad angsty fic.

(You can read it down here as well.) Word count: 2040. Tags: #emotional comfort #established relationship #hence: canon divergence #nightmares

Oswald's used to having nightmares. He's no stranger to sleepless nights, 5-am coffees have become a bit of a recurrent habit to make up for the drowsiness clouding his mind after a particularly difficult dream chimes in without permission and throws his sleeping schedule off — so much that he often finds himself power-napping through the day when Ed isn't around to tell him off for it.

Yes, he's almost grown too accustomed to Hugo Strange's voice narrating all sorts of gruesome scenarios that he ends up carrying out of his own volition, propelled forward by an unknown and invisible force deep inside. He never really sees the Doctor, but he hears him all the time, he's just there all the time. He tells Oswald what to do and Oswald does it without a pinch of remorse. Shoot him. Stab her. Blow them all to pieces, they deserve it.

It's the kind of hell he's used to. He's almost learnt to accept it's never going away. That it's a part of his psyche now, a part of him that will never really go away — because how do you fix a tattered mind? He wouldn't let anyone try, anyway. Not after Arkham.

This night is different. This night he's assaulted by a new kind of terror, almost perfectly calibrated and specially curated for him. Blossoming from the deepest part of his mind where he'd stocked it, never to be revisited.

And it's most cruel for one reason: when he wakes up with a startle he can't bear the thought of those arms wrapping around him and providing comfort like they've done so many times before. In fact, the first thing he does when he opens his eyes is untangle himself from Ed's sleeping embrace like it burns him.

Which means he's got no-one but himself to count on, again. No-one to hush him through the aftermath and speak softly in his ear and hum a long-dead melody until he calms down or, if he's lucky, falls back asleep.

"Oswald?"

He sits on the edge of the bed, hunched over to catch his breath, and feels Ed shifting position behind him. His partner's voice is clouded with sleep and Oswald can't bring himself to even turn around and reassure him — lie to him. He fears if he turns around he won't see Ed but Riddler. Not Ed's gentle eyes but Riddler's mocking glare. Not a warm comforting smile but a disdainful sneer.

His father, standing on the other side of the bed with a disappointed frown. My boy, how could you steep so low? Do you know where I am? Do you know where he left me?

When Ed's warm fingers brush over his right shoulder Oswald bolts upright with a whine.

"Osw—?"

And he runs to the bathroom and slams the door close behind him, feeling his one-piece nightgown sticking to his chest with sweat.

"Oswald, what's wrong?" Edward's voice is immediately on the other side, he tries turning the doorknob but Oswald is pinning it closed with his own weight, still unable to brush away the gut-wrenching feeling of betrayal that's so suddenly taken hold of him, "Oswald, get off the door."

It's a gentle request.

Oswald might have done it, perhaps, might have considered it, if he hadn't looked right into the mirror hanging on the opposite wall and seen Elijah's pale and sickness-stricken face. A dead man's face that makes him shiver.

He shall never have peace, so long as you're with him, Oswald thinks. Some other Oswald. Some other voice that sounds like his but isn't. Can't be.

"Oswald," Ed tries again, and this time he pushes against the door with more conviction, Oswald leans off and turns around to face him when he comes in, to keep him away, Riddler, he's still in there, he's— "oh dear," Ed coos, having one look at him and taking pity instantly. He takes a step forward and Oswald takes a step back.

"No!" he blurts out with a raspy voice. Edward stops dead in his tracks, lost expression for a moment before his shoulders relax again.

"It's okay, Oswald. It was just a nightmare," he adds, softly like so many times before.

"No, it isn't! It wasn't!" Oswald lashes out, hating that he looks at Ed's dishevelled face and concerned caramel eyes and wants him to just get away, his voice comes out just barely, "you did that to him! You— How could you?!"

Ed opens his mouth and doesn't move, clearly taken aback by the accusation even if he fails to comprehend, thrown off by the way Oswald looks at him, stands like that, like a wounded animal, like he might flee if Edward takes another step forward.

He still takes a step forward, though, because he never was really good with physical cues.

"Os, I don't understand wha—"

"Don't touch me!"

Oswald jerks away and hits the wall behind, still shivering despite his burning skin. Edward shows him his palms, a gesture of surrender.

"Okay. Okay, I'm not," he takes a steadying breath in, "I'm staying right here."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's not him, I swear! I didn't—"

"Oswald?"

"He's different now! He's not like that anymore!"

Oswald gestures towards Ed, clever, supportive, thoughtful, with his checked blue pyjamas and plaid shirt and lack of glasses and puffy eyes from sleep. Then he looks back at his father now standing by the door and projects the thought: Ed. Not Riddler!

But Elijah shakes his head and purses his lips, looking him up and down like he doesn't approve and Oswald just needs him to understand.

"It's not hiiiiim!"

"Oswald, this is starting to become very unsettling."

Edward looks around, to his right, there. To where Oswald's looking, to nothing. He knows that deranged gaze, he's seen it countless times before, he's stood in front of the mirror a lot of times and seen it on himself.

"Os, it's just those new painkillers making you groggy, okay? It's a much heavier dose than the one you're used to. Whatever you're seeing," Edward chances a slow step forward and Oswald finally turns his head back to him, with glassy eyes and tears on his eyelashes and still looking like he'll run away, "it's not there, Oswald. I am here."

Oswald stares at him for a few more silent moments with a lost expression, mouth open and still bracing himself with one hand on the cold tiles behind and the other on the sink.

"You're not... you're not him, I try to— I tell him you're not," he babbles, looking feverish and lost.

That's when the penny drops for Edward. It feels like a stab to the heart, that broken voice, the trembling hands, the quivering lips, the whole sight of an Oswald so distressed he won't even let him get close enough to soothe him.

"No," Ed says softly, his own voice failing him for a moment, shaking his head and taking yet another step closer, "no," he repeats breathless, "I'm not. Please. Come here."

He reaches an offering hand and Oswald slowly looks down as if weighing his options. As if making sure this isn't a trick — which, well. If he's thinking of Riddler, he can hardly be blamed for exercising caution, Ed admits. It hurts him to admit it. To know he's caused this, one way or another. Painkillers or not. This raw incoherent fear is coming from somewhere, however small the flame that ignited it might be, and he can't fix it because Oswald won't stop trembling like a leaf and recoiling.

"Oswald, please," he begs, voice finally breaking and eloquence escaping him, retrieving his outstretched hand and rubbing fingers over his burning eyelids because if he breaks down too... "please, it's me, Ed, just Ed."

He doesn't know what to do. He's on the verge of blurting out apologies when he opens his eyes to Oswald latching onto him with one of those desperate hugs. Ed wraps his arms around him instantly, a reflex, feeling like he's just come back to life.

"Go away," Oswald says, sobs with his face buried in the crook of his neck and starts crying. Edward tightens his hold and hides his own tears in the other man's raven locks, understands he's not the one being spoken to, "go, please. I won't leave him!"

Edward can barely understand the string of pleas when Oswald's clutching onto him so firmly his words come out muffled and nearly intelligible. Either way, he's not about to ask who's there — better not add salt to the wound. Not feed the horror, lest it become a recurrent thing. He needs him to understand this is a figment of his imagination if he's not aware already.

"Shhhh, it's all good," he keeps Oswald in place with an arm around his waist and brings the other one to gently pet his hair, "it's o-kay, Oswald. I'm here, it's just you and me."

Oswald nods against his chest but he can't seem to bring himself to stop crying. Edward rubs circles on his back.

"Just you and me," he repeats, striving for a soothing voice and feeling it waver ever so slightly.

They stay like that for a whole five minutes until Oswald finally leans back, sniffs and looks up with red eyes and a self-deprecating comment on his lips that Ed doesn't let him voice out.

"Come on, it's freezing out here."

Ed guides him back under the covers and tucks him in, Oswald watches his every move like an overcurious child. That cloudy expression is gone, though, and Ed can't help but let out a sigh of relief at having him back. He looks drained but sober.

Mostly sober.

His eyes still dart around with a nervous air but he doesn't seem to find his demon anywhere. When Ed climbs back up on the bed Oswald immediately shifts closer and hides his face in his shirt again.

"I'm sorry, that—"

"No-uh-uh," Ed cuts in, brushing a strand of hair off his green doe eyes and feeling an almost compulsive need to plant a kiss on the now-red tip of his nose, "say no more."

Oswald purses his lips and shuffles even closer, pressing his flush body so firmly against Ed's that they can't exactly see each other's faces anymore.

"Can you...?"

"Yes I can."

And that's that. He settles his chin on top of Oswald's head and starts humming; content to sidestep the issue just for now but unable to brush aside the sour taste of guilt filling almost every corner of his mind.

He starts rubbing circles on Oswald's back and doesn't stop the melody until he feels the other man's hold loosen up and his breath change into a normal and peaceful pace. Only then does Edward slowly extract himself from the embrace, far enough that he can look at Oswald's face.

Red and wet and troubled, still. He reaches over and soothes the lines on his forehead.

"I'm sorry, Os," he breathes out.

He's used to Oswald having nightmares. He wakes up all heaving breaths and uncertain hands latching onto anything that's near for comfort, for safety or reassurance. Ed is always there to provide either one, wrap his arms around his shaking form and listen to him if he wants to talk. Make him a cup of tea or play soft tunes on the piano if sleep doesn't return.

Oswald's always been needy like that.

Having him wake up and frantically keep himself away, recoil from his touch and excuse himself to a third party only he can see... that's a first.

And it's terrifying.

Because He made that happen. Because Oswald's grown to be too dependant and Ed's grown to be his anchor in moments like these and if he can't even be that... then what can he be? What's left for him to be, besides the clear instigator?

Ed closes his eyes and lets out a sigh, focusing on the sound of Oswald's breathing and on the touch of his cold feet and the smell of cherry-scented hair conditioner. He relishes in the familiarity of the hold and shakes the darker thoughts away.

Perhaps he's become a bit dependant himself.