#my oldest teddy bear is named Dog

[nox140497]

The Waynes

Authors Note: So this is my first male reader insert..... and it's pretty bad....... so if you don't like it, don't read this one.

Summery: Dick and the others are slightly ooc (maybe not though) in this one. Ok, Dick's vvveeeerrryyyy ooc..... sorry... not sorry.

Warning : uhhh, language cause Jason's in this one.

Also, really long, sorry

Info: I mean you could be female but I'm gonna be using he/his/him if you guys want I'll do the female one of this too, let me know if you guys want that.

Background: You are m/n Queen son of Oliver Queen and Nyssa (spelling of that please?)Al Ghul. You, like your dad, 'brother' and 'cousin', are an archer however you have other powers too.

Control of all ellements including shadow and light.

Shapeshifting like Beastboy, you're not green though, all your animals are black.

Your favourite form is a large wolf that people believe is a dog when in civvies.

You are also half demon... thanks alot Ras...

You also have super speed like Barry who is your Godfather.

Your Suit is similar to Dick's though it is just black.

Nobody knows the batboys' secret IDs yet except for m/n in this one. Also Dick and m/n have been dating for 4 years and m/n is very protective of not just Dick but of all the batkids. The team doesn't know this though 'cause they don't show it as Nightwung and Ghost (if you have a better hero name for him please let me know cause i'm thinking he's going to pop up in alot of my other oneshots, pehaps another book, and I can't come up with anything better than that so please help), though they are close.

Dick Grayson is a clingy, cuddly teddy bear. .

They will sometimes flirt with one another.

Bruce trusts him with the birds 'cause he's technically Damians causin and part demon.

He is the only 'meta' allowed in Gotham.

Also the boys all listen to him and like to cuddle when they seek comfort or warmth. (He runs hotter than a normal human and can adjust his body temperature)

Also Dick has an accent that he hides as Nightwing and m/n absolutely adores it, Dick has no idea why.

Ages:

Batgirl:19

Nightwing:18

Red Hood: 16

Red Robin/Robin: 14

Robin: 10

Ghost: 19

Kidflash: 20

Artimis: 20

Miss Martian: 20

Supperboy: 21

Aqualad: 22

Beast boy: 15

Lagoonboy: 16

Wondergril: 14

Bumblebee: 21

Zatana: 21

Masterlist

Prompt List

-------------------------

Nightwin's P.O.V.

It's a normal day at the cave. We were all doing our own thing when the Zeta beam lit up.

'Recognized Batman 01'

Everybody groaned as the big bad bat entered and ordered us to the mission room.

I groaned softly as I looked at the screen and saw a family photo of us on it. I could hear 'Red' Robin do the same slightly behind me and m/n snickering softly beside me. I nudge m/n in the ribs rather harshly and hear him grunt softly in response and I smirk.

"Team, as you probably know, this is the Wayne family. Recently, the oldest, Richard Grayson-Wayne, has been receiving death threats..."

Out of the corner of my eye I see m/n get a dark look on his face as he glares darkly at the wall behind Bats. I also see a slight green glow behind the lenses of his mask. How others don't notice it is beyond me but whatever.

"and Bruce Wayne has asked for our help in protecting his kids." Bats finishes.

"So what? We have to babysit a bunch of rich brats?" Lagoonboy growls in question. Batman and m/n twitch slightly.

"Yes." Batman says blandly. "And Nightwing, Robin, and Ghost will not be joining you." He finishes, and all three of us do a doubble take mostly 'cause Ghost wasn't going on the mission.

"Excuse me?" M/N growled, stiffening beside me the glow behind his lenses intensifying slightly. I descreatly take his hand and squeeze before letting go.

"You have a more important mission." Bats said. M/n raised a questioning eyebrow. Bats just gives him a look, and he relaxes beside me and nods once. The glow of his eyes lessened but not disappearing.

"What, why do they get to sit this one out?" Wally whines childishly

"Because Nightwing and Robin are comming with me to try and find the source of the threats and as I said Ghost has a more important mission to attend to" Batman growled making the others take a step back. Wally just pouted. I heard m/n snort in amusement at his godbrother (godcousin?).

With that, batman walked back to the zeta tubes, and the three of us followed him out and to the batcave.

Recognized Batman 01

Recognized Nightwing B01

Recognized Ghost B02

Recognized Robin B12

"So what is this ever so important mission that I am supposed to have B?" M/n asked curriously, tilting his head slightly to the left as we all removed our masks.

"You're going to make sure that my boys don't kill each other before whoever this is gets the chance, as well as making sure that they don't kill the team." Bruce said as he sat down at the Batcomputer. M/n nodded, and mock saluted before turning to me and Tim with a smile.

I smiled back as we headed to the changing rooms and then upstairs. Tim slipped upstairs and into his room as we headed into the kitchen for a small snack ( he is a speedster after all) and then headed to the living room and calapsed onto one of the coutches, to cuddle and whatch tv until dinner.

At some point, I must have dozed off because the next thing I know, I'm being lightly shaken by my boyfriend.

"Dinner time, Dickiebird." He said softly, gently brushing hair out of my face.

I hum softly as I start getting up and stretch slightly. I hear a soft chuckle from beside me, and I blush lightly, looking over at the dark-haired boy.

"What?" I ask with my accent shining through earning a soft smile and a kiss from my boyfriend. He loves my accent. I don't know why.

"Nothing, my love. You're just cute when you wake up, that's all." He says in a soft voice, causing me to blush more. I hear another soft chuckle before I am pulled up along with him. That's one of the things that I love about him, despite almost being as tall (cough taller cough) and almost as muscular as Bruce he's always so soft and gentle with my brothers and I. Unless absolutely neccessery like when breaking up a fight and even then he never uses his full strength.

"Comon before Jay eats all the food." He says in an amused tone, and I chuckle slightly, following him into the dining room and the chaos that is a normal dinner at Wayne mannor.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

M/N P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning with my beautiful Bluebird cuddled up to me still blissfully asleep. I noticed a while ago that he sleeps better when he's with me, so I come over as much as I can. I mean, I do have my own place in Gothem and have been thinking about asking him to move in with me.

Buuuttt.......

He is only barely 18, and I really don't want DaddyBats breathing down my neck. Thank you very much.

Anyway I do need to go get some clothes and stuff at home but I'm so comfortable and I really do not want to get up and besides Dick's finally getting some sleep and I know if I move he will most likely wake up.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Still M/N P.O.V.

It's about an hour later that Dick starts to stir in my arms.

I smile and lightly run my fingers through his hair. He moans softly and snuggles closer to me.

"Good morning, my love." I say softly into his hair.

"Morning." He mumbles back.

"We should probably get up and go to breakfast before Alfred sends one of your brothers to get us." I say gently, rubbing his back.

"Mmhhnmmm." He hums back. I chuckle slightly and nuzzle his hair again before starting to move to get up.

"Mmmmm." He whined in protest, clinging to me like a koala and trying to keep me in bed with him. I chuckle again and run my fingers through his hair again.

"Com'on Dickie you need to get up and eat, and I need to go to my apartment to get my stuff." I say in a soft voice.

"Nnnoooo." He whines.

"Yyyeeesss." I say in the same tone. He lets go of me and crosses his arms with a pout, and I smile before pecking his lips.

He sighs dramatically and grabs my hand before following me out of bed and then downstairs to breakfast, where all the others already are. Bruce smiles at us from over his newspaper as everybody else just looks up at us. I smile back and thank Alfred as he places coffee and breakfast in front of Dick and I.

"The team will be here in about an hour, and then I will be leaving and leaving you boys in m/n's hands. Please behave and don't kill anyone." Bruce says once he puts the newspaper down.

"They know better than to try B. Don't worry, we'll be fine." I chuckle softly while being glared at by 3 sets of eyes. I turn to the three younger boys and raise an eyebrow at their glares. They flinch and turn back to their food. I spot an amused smile on Dick, Bruce, and even Alfred's faces.

After breakfast I peck Dick's lips and leave the manor to go and collect my things from home.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

By the time I return to the manor and slip in the front door unnoticed, I notice that the team is already here seeing as I can hear the chatter comming from the lounge room. I slip over to the door of the room after placing my things at the foot of the stairs to take up later and lean against the doorframe whatching silently. I notice a set of teal eyes as well as a set of steel blue eyes (Jason and Tim who are facing the door) flick up to see who was in the doorway. I also saw the other two birds stiffen a bit before relaxing when their brothers did nothing but return to watching the team.

Most of the team looks somewhat annoyed at having to be here, or maybe it's just Jason or Damian annoying them who knows. I smirk, waiting for someone other than the birds to notice me.

They do not.

I stand there for 10 minutes before clearing my throat and taking satisfaction in whatching them jump. I know the boys noticed me the minute I walked into the doorframe, and probably when I walked in the front door, but the rest definitely did not. They really do need more training.

The team stares or glares at me as Dick jumps up and practically throws himself into my arms.

"Some protection you lot are. If I wanted to kill you all, I could have." I snarled as I held Dick to my chest, and he snuggled into my neck.

"Ghost, what the hell are you doing here? Batman is gonna kill you when he finds out you aren't on that important mission he sent you on." Artimis growled through the now established mind link. I meerly raise an eybrow and scoop Dick up, making him squeak, and carry him inside and sit on the couch with Dick in my lap and the other 3 boys get up to curl up either beside me leaning on my shoulder (Tim and Dami) or sitting on the floor leaning on my legs (Jason).

"You can talk to me outside the link they know my secret identity." I sighed as I ran my fingers through Jays hair.

"THEY WHAT!!' The team exclaims. I feel Jason and Tim flinch a bit, and I run my hands through their hair to calm them down slightly. I meerly glare at the team.

"I've known them since Dick was adopted, so what? 10 years? 11? And as you can see, we're really close, so yes, they know my identity." I say slightly annoyed.

"11." Dick murmers softly, still snuggling into my chest, eyes closed. I smile softly and kiss his hair.

The team just sits and stares at me.

"Does Nightwing know your new plaything is a rich brat?" Wally asks through the link again.

"Yes." I drawl cooly. Sneering and glaring at the fact that he just called my boyfriend a brat and implying that he is meerly a plaything, an object.

Only I get to call him a brat.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Still M/N P.O.V.

It's been a week, and I want to stab something. Peferably someone on the team. They are infuriating. They won't leave the boys alone. It's getting on their nerves as well as mine, and worse, Zatana won't stop flirtting with Dick. Because of their frustration, I've had to break up more fights than I normally have to, and Dick's become even more clingy, not that I mind that, though. We have resorted to hiding in the cave, and I have considered taking them to my place instead, but that would result in DaddyBats breathing down my neck, and again, I don't want that. It doesn't help that they can't go out on patrol to let out their anger either.

I really hope Bruce finds this guy soon.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

M/N P.O.V

Ok so I swear to God if B doesn't hurry the hell up and get his ass back here soon I'm gonna cut a bitch or I'm gonna let Jason or Damian kill them. I can see that Dick is close to thinking the same thing. And THAT'S saying something because he's probably the most sensible of us. So if they continue this they're doomed.

We've taken to hiding in the Batcave more often because otherwise there's gonna be blood and alot of it, and it helps seeing as we can try and get a lead on the guy threatening my bird.

--------------------------------------------

The team being so invasive has messed with the boys' sleeping schedule, not that they had a very good one to begin with (Read, don't have one at all). They've all become more clingy because they're tired and while I don't mind the boys being clingy the snotty and down right rude comments from the team over the mind link are starting to get to me, to the point where if Dick isn't with me at all times I fear I might go Demon on them and nobody wants that. I know I won't hurt the boys if that happens, but still not something I want to happen.

Currently, the boys and I were cuddling on the couch while the team sat around the living room chatting over the mind link. I wasn't paying them much mind instead focusing on my own mind conversation with the birds, something the team didn't know I could do. Then again, the team doesn't know my full power . Not even my 'cousin' knows. Anyway, I wasn't really paying attention to the teams conversation until a comment caught my attention, and I tensed under Dick who was again in my lap.

"I don't see what n/n sees in that brat. I mean look at him I bet he can't do anything without n/n holding his hand. I mean he can do sooo much better than these rich fakers, the kid probably doesn't even love him and is using him, I mean look who raised the kid, Bruce Wayne is a playboy and his brats probably take after their father." My 'cousin' said through the link obviously forgetting that though I was not participating in the conversation I was still connected to the mind link and could infact hear them.

Dick looked at me when I tensed and noticed that my eyes were starting to glow green. He quickly shifted in his spot and wrapped both arms and legs around me to try and calm me down. Once I was calm enough I turned to the team and gave them a glare so powerful all of them shrank away from it.

"You have no idea what you're talking about. Maybe instead of judging them based on what the danm press says about them, do the intelligent thing and get to know them first." I snarled coldly through the link, and they all flinched. I got up with Dick still being a koala bear on my waist and walked out closely, followed by the other three birds.

[monstersandmaw]

So today, I heard a track from Evanescence’s 2003 Album ‘Fallen’, (which was incidentally the first CD I bought with my own pocket money (aged 13) and which I listened to so intensely that I still know every word on the album) and it viscerally brought back my first real OC comfort character.

If you want to meet him, I'll put what I 'know' of him below the cut. It felt like meeting an old friend for the first time in years while I was driving along and thinking about him again today, all the while singing along to the album that inspired him in the first place.

His name is Kian, and he's a soft, shy goth boy in a band...

(Brief mention of car accident as a child and resulting physical disability)

Kinda tall and rather lanky, with long black hair to his waist and the kind of skin that burns at the first hint of sunshine, he's intensely shy and doesn't talk much, even with the people he's very comfortable around.

I didn't know the nuance of it at the time, but I can say now that he's definitely panromantic and demisexual/grey-ace.

He's the main songwriter and guitarist for a rock??/symphonic metal?? band that plays the same kind of music as on the album 'Fallen' (which is how I first imagined him), as well as stuff like Nightwish... His primary instrument is actually keyboard/piano (he could have been a classical concert pianist but he chose the band over that, much to his parents' eternal disappointment...). Sometimes the band has an instrumental section in their sets, with him playing the piano with his back to the audience, and it's become a bit of a trademark in their concerts :). The band is doing really well and becoming pretty popular, and the other members are a short girl with a plus-size figure and long black hair (singer), a 6'3" tanned, muscled, tattooed, smiley blond guy with viking hair and a teddy-bear personality (bass player and backing vocals, dating the girl), and a punk with piercings, tattoos, and spiky hair that changes colour basically every week (drums, gender???).

When Kian was nine years old, he was involved in a car accident and his right leg was crushed by the impact. It wasn't deemed necessary to amputate, but it's left him with a lot of pain in his right leg and he walks with the use of a cane or crutch (depending on the pain) and wears an orthotic brace. He has a wheelchair he uses sometimes, but with constant physio and attentive care, it's not often necessary. He uses it when he needs to though.

Kian is a sweetie who would do anything for the people he loves, but rarely enjoys going out in crowds and prefers to keep to himself or on the edge of social gatherings. He does really enjoy going out and about on his own to places like the park, and sitting on a bench to read in the shade with a coffee or tea. His bandmates are super protective of him because he's so shy (which he can find a bit chafing, but it comes from a good place), and they shield him socially when they do go out to crowded places, making sure he's not overwhelmed. Bass player is Big Protecc Bear with all his friends.

Kian's more of a dog person than a cat person, but he loves animals in general, and he loves it when the singer (I don't have a name for her) brings her dog to his apartment and lets Kian dog-sit when she needs someone to look after her (she's a Tamaskan who absolutely adores Kian, so that works out well for both parties).

He's pretty into social media, but mostly posts artsy shots of sunlight on his piano or his coffee etc., or snippets of stuff he's working on, and he rarely shows his face. He games a lot in his spare time, and though people know he's into online gaming, and which ones, they don't know his name/handle. I like to think that maybe he meets his future SO online and they fall in love without knowing who he is...

If you've played Stardew Valley at all, you'll know why I instantly fell in love with Sebastian - same vibes as Kian in many ways.

So yeah, that's one of my very oldest OCs (one who's human anyway. I've talked about my winged, skull-headed, half-man-half-reptile/gargoyle, temple guardian lad on here before, I'm sure, and he's even older than Kian).

Anyway, I hope you liked meeting him :). This was oddly personal for me, and I've never shared him with anyone before. Thinking about him and listening to 'Fallen' got me some of the toughest of my teenage years, so be kind, and if you think any of the above is silly or whatever, please just move on with your day and don't say anything :3.

I'd love to write something for the band and get to know them all over again now that I'm an adult. Maybe I will one day :)

[digitalvalkerie]

Tamersona Week 2022 Day 2

My partners?

Yes, that’s right, I have more one... the list seems to keep expanding, but hopefully the limit is... five...?

Now, we’ve gone over enough about me, Vick.

Let’s start with Saka, tied for my oldest partner and friend.

Saka is pretty straight forward, liking to fight and disliking being called cute. Hes pretty Macho-Man esque, and prideful to boot, feeling the need to show his masculinity often, and hide his emotions from most others (Myself and Teddy aside).

As we grew up, he began to grow out of the need, at least until he was in Champion form, where the masculinity complex was double its original state. Much like Terriermon from Tamers, he tries to get everyone to chill out in a serious situation, mostly saying “I’ve got this, no need to worry!”

I’m pretty sure he has a sensitive side too, he just... doesn’t like to show it a whole lot. He worries, he frets, but he plays it off in a manner that may come of as arrogance.

I gave him the nickname Saka, since it was hard to call him and his sister Teddymorphmon when talking at one or the other. I didn’t know how to spell the name, but he’s nicknamed after Sokka from ATLA, because his personality matches up pretty close~

Then we have his twin sister, Teddy.

Teddy is the maternal type, caring for everything smaller than her as I had done for her and her brother. I guess I rubbed off on them more than I thought. She loves babies, and will often visit our local primary village run by Leomon. (I have vowed to protect this man from the Leomon Curse >>)

Teddy loves sweets just as much as her brother, and will take sweets from him as he does from me. However, she very much dislikes bullies, and that fact as still never changed. When we came back to the Analog world, and I had to face my school bullies again, it was like she was a completely different mon, growling and snarling like a rabid dog to scare the bullies off.

She’s a worrier, for sure, and I maybe don’t help so much with the dumb stuff I do. But she always trust that I know what I’m doing when I say so. I gave her the nickname Teddy, simply because it was short for Teddymorphmon ^^;

Now, a Teddymorphmon, the species of these two, is a digimon that seems like a subspecies of Terriermon or Lopmon, when in actuality, it’s a whole other species. Much like how Red Pandas may look like pandas, or Koalas are called koala bears, they are their own classification out side of what they are compared to.

The base of their data cores is near identical in shape to the aforementioned rabbit digimon, but the rest is made up of other various things. Teddymorphmon get their name from their Teddybear like comfort, as well as the ability to change their appearance as they like. Sometimes, they can have bangs covering their eyes, sometimes they can have sharp little claws instead of nubby lil fingers.

They are also more like marsupials, in the sense that their neck “markings” are actually pouches of which they can store things such as eggs, or in Saka’s case snacks.

Let’s move on to Taru.

Taru is a centarumon (typically), that acts much like a knight of Arthurian tales would act, much having to do with Honor and Respect. He has a very interesting code of honor, and will not attack if he thinks the opponent would die from his strikes.

Outside of the battle field, he is a very sweet boy, adhering to rules (usually unspoken ones...) and making sure that everyone is safe and happy. He is constantly watching out for younger digimon, even when he isn’t much older than ten himself.

He is also very shy. While he’ll genuinely compliment on what ever I’m working on, with vigor, mind you, it only takes a “you’re the best!” or “you are just the cutest!~” to have him blushing profusely. (Even as I write this with him looking over my shoulder, I can see he’s blushing -w-)

I named him Taru from Centarumon, his Champion form. Typically, Taru likes to be in his champion form, if only because it makes him feel more useful than his Elecmon form. But recently, he’s undergone a data change that allows him to slide into FlareSpadamon.

Next lets get to Taco.

Taco is a spindly boi, with a love for hugs, pizza, and making everyone smile. He... kinda just showed up one day in my room, and before I knew it we shared a DPB. He’s very sweet, and tries to help the best he can, but most of the time, he’s just a big ole baby.

Now, Taco doesn’t seem to have a voice of his own, and will often mimic different people’s voices saying things in order to talk with me, or anyone for that matter. For example:

The phrase he wants to say is: “Can we please have Pizza for dinner? With breadsticks!”

He will say “Can” from someone’s voice, “Please” from someone else’s, “Pizza” from a PizzaHut advert, “Suppertime” from Little Shop of Horrors, and then “Bread” from Guilmon saying “Guilmon love bread” in Digimon Tamers, and “Sticks” from someone calling out the name Sticks in Sonic Boom.

So all together you get “Can Please Pizza Suppertiiiime? Bread sticks!”

It takes some deciphering, but you know he gets his point across just fine. I named him Taco, just because it felt right in my jellies -nod nod-

While it wasn’t an unwelcome addition to the team, his origins do still concern me... And yet, he’s still not the most baffling encounter for a partner.

That brings us to the latest addition, Chihiro

Chihiro is definitely a strange case. As a Digi-egg, she came to us in a package that I ordered. The order was only supposed to contain a Booster Box of the Digimon card game, and yet when I opened it up, there was an egg.

After months of keeping that egg close to my person at all hours of the day, including bath time, the egg hatched into a digimon I wasn’t too familiar with. I did my research and found out she was a newly discovered digimon, named Curimon.

It didn’t take long for her to get to rookie though, as she did not hold back on the eating thing. Doing more research lead me to learn she was a Gammamon, yet another recently discovered digimon...

Despite knowing next to nothing about her species, I still loved her all the same. She was a sweet little baby, who’s only downside was her constant need to feel things using her mouth. I still have some teeth marks in my head from yesterday...

She is very smol, so I often carry her around in her little pooket (which is just the hood of my jacket.)

I named her Chihiro, because of the noise she would make. She always went “Chih! Chih!”, and it just made me think, Chihiro from Spirited Away~

That’s all on my partners for now... Seriously though, I hope five is the limit, because I’m bout to run outta money to feed these guys x.x

[autumnalfallingleaves]

3 and 21 for the ask game

3. do you leave the window open at night?

Yes, if it's not too cold outside. I like my room cool.

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

Oh, lots of things. My oldest is the teddy bear I was given soon after being born that my dog later chewed the paw off of. His (the bear's) name is Burt :)

here’s weirder asks

[renegadeontherunn]

ahhhh 🧸 and 🐑 for the ask game? <3

ahhh thanks for the ask ab!!!

from these cottagecore asks

teddy bear: do you ever want to raise kids someday?

honestly, i'm not sure! i'm only 20 (about to turn 21, ayyy) so kids + all that feels pretty far in my future. i actually really like kids + interacting with + talking to them and i don't think i'd be necessarily bad at raising kids, so maybe! ask me again in like 9 years and i might have a better answer for you alsdjlajkakl

sheep: what is a comfort item you own?

ahh this is a cutie one! i would probably say my stuffed animal named lovey. i love stuffed animals in general + have quite a few, but she is i think the oldest stuffed animal i own. she's a little pink and white dog and one of her ears is like half sewn on and she has one pink eye and one white eye and i take her everywhere. any time i'm on a trip that's overnight, she's packed immediately. any time i'm having an especially hard day, boom lovey cuddle sesh. i just love her, she's so cute and has literally been with me through like my entire life and so yeah, she's definitely a comfort to me :)

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #051

“her place of work is not that far away: it’s the room next door”

Describe your hometown. What's it like there? It was a crappy and dangerous place. What's your favorite memory with your last ex? Probably this one night during my first stay at her house where we just stayed up listening to music and talking about totally random and pointless shit. What is the oldest online account that you still use? Uhhhh... maybe my Facebook? What country does your favorite band hail from? Ozzy is from England and Rammstein is German. Ever wondered what it would be like dating the same gender as you? I've dated the same gender as myself. When was the last time you smoked pot? Never. Have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool? No. Do you use one towel when you shower or two? (one for hair, one for body) I use one ON me, but three are on the floor nowadays because the shower door stays cracked and I also dry off mostly on the toilet because I need to sit. Do your mothering instincts come out easily? No, honestly. It's weird but I literally feel more maternal towards s/os than kids. I HAVE however noticed the longer I've been helping Mom babysit the kids, the more "I need to protect/make them feel better" sort of upset I get if one of the kids are crying because they're hurt or something. Tampons or pads? I really don't like either, but I prefer tampons regardless. Who in your opinion is the hottest male celebrity? Markiplier, sobs. Who did you last fall asleep with? My boyfriend. Who were you last in a car with? My mom. Are you embarrassed/uncomfortable dancing in front of other people? Yes. Would you ever consider styling your hair as a mohawk? No. Of all the pets you have had throughout your life, which one has meant the most to you? Is there a reason why? My dog Teddy. I felt connected to that dog on a spiritual level. Roman is like, RIGHT behind him. Do you think that fake plants are tacky? Have you ever seen any that looked real? I mean, not really. I really just don't care. How many friends do you have on Facebook? 109. When was the last time you made out with somebody? No one needs to know that. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? OH MY GOD Girt and I started Extraordinary Attorney Woo the other day AND I. AM. OBSESSED. I have not been this into a show in SO FUCKING LONG and omg I absolutely adore it, you should 100% check it out if you don't mind reading subtitles if you're unfamiliar with Korean. What pet names do you use with your significant other? A lot, really. I probably say "hunny" more than anything though. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? I haven't and I probably wouldn't. Can you hear anything right now? Yeah; I have "Moskau" by Rammstein on rn. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No, I can't. Have you ever missed a flight? I sure did, and I was MEGA fucking upset; I was making a surprise visit to Sara on her bday, and I was supposed to be there before she even woke up, but thank god I still got there without the secret slipping out. Her parents were great with making things seem normal and her dad slipping off to pick me up under the guise of doing something else. Do your neighbours have any pets? Have you ever met them? Idk about our immediate neighbors, but I know there are dogs in the neighborhood because at least one never shuts up. Do you know your significant other's passwords? No, they're not my business. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? Probably a panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? No, I actually hate it. Do you hang out with your siblings' friends? No. Have you ever kept anything wild as a pet? As a child, yes, and I thoroughly implore others NOT to do it unless it is a rescue mission by an educated professional. Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood? I honestly like Carrie. Think about your ex, your crush, or the person you’re currently dating. Were you attracted to that person as soon as you met them, or did the attraction develop over time? I wasn't immediately physically attracted to Girt, but I'm pretty certain I was drawn to him emotionally very quickly. What is the sexual orientation of the last person you talked to? Straight. Did you get ice cream from the ice cream truck when you were little? Do they still have an ice cream truck where you live? Yes, every now and again. There's not one around here. What has been the most traumatic experience of your life? Does it still bother you? My boyfriend that I practically worshiped leaving me very abruptly, and yes. I worry all the goddamn time Girt will eventually have enough and leave. Your last ex finds out you’ve fallen in love with another person? She already knows this. How long was your longest make out? lmao bro this question makes me think of someone keeping track of time like a goddamn high score, which isn't something I do. Idk, idc. In your opinion, which hurts more: physical or emotional pain? Emotional. Is there a certain song or band who remind you of specific people? Motionless In White and Black Veil Brides will absolutely always make me think of Jason because those were his favorites. My mom is also WILDLY obsessed with Metallica, so they make me think of her without fail, too. Can you recall the last time you bought flowers for someone? What kind? Uh, I don't think I've given someone flowers since I dated Jason, probably for Valentine's Day one year. They woulda been roses. I'm planning on getting Girt at least a rose or two this year as well for our anniversary, coming up real soon. And when was the last time someone sent flowers to you? What kind? Tyler got me an unnecessarily large bouquet of roses one time when he visited my house while we were dating for like two weeks. Are there any books that you own more than one copy of? I don't believe so, no. As a child, what was a trait or habit you had that annoyed your parents? Ummm... idk. Besides always wanting to be on the computer. Does your best friend get along with their parents? I don't know how Girt got on with his dad, but he and his mom are great. Is there anything in you room your parents would be pissed about? What? No. Are you welcome at the last person you kissed's house? Yes. Have you ever gotten anything racist about you yelled at you? No. Does the last person whose house you were at like anyone? I was at my sister's place, and she's married with three kids, so. Have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance? My mother, yes. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal? Yes. I still have all of them. Do you put clothes on your animals? Cookie rarely has a fuzzy jacket on, but I mean, she's a tiny chihuahua so it's for when she could get cold going out somewhere. She LOVES going on car rides. Who do you feel most comfortable talking about your feelings with? Probably Mom. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yes, it's a stunning thing. What would you do if you walked in on your best friend having sex? My best friend is my boyfriend so I'd be pretty fuckin upset. Could you forgive your best friend for sleeping with your bf/gf? They're the same people, but in the hypothetical situation my bf WASN'T my best friend, I would absolutely forgive neither of them. I'd never speak to their asses again, quite frankly. Are you mad at your significant other? No, I have no reason to be. Have you ever had a UFO sighting or a sighting of strange lights in the sky? A strange light, absolutely. I'm not saying it was extraterrestrial in origin, but it was absolutely weird and I don't have an explanation for it after researching. What by your definition is the naughtiest thing you have done? Done "things" on furniture we shouldn't have. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? HA, that ^ Would you rather have big or small dogs? I'm usually more drawn to big (or medium-sized) dogs, but I don't really want a dog, period. Do you like your first name? Yeah. Do you wear glasses? Yes, I FINALLY have glasses again. I don't like wearing them, but god is it good to see. Who is the boy you trust most? Calling a nearly 30 y/o man "boy" is weird to me, but w/e, Girt. Which girl do you trust the most? Mom. How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)? None. What do you think of the United States? Lol we fucking suck, and I say that with great confidence. It feels disgusting to even be an American. Is the United States really the best country in the world? HELL no. I don't know which country is, but it sure as hell isn't here. Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant? I sure have; at the time I didn't know "martyr" had a modernized definition when I was called this by one of Jason's friends, and I AGREED with him because I thought he meant it in (I believe) the original way, where I'd die for what I believe in. It's humiliating to remember with how it must've made me look. It was actually after this event that Jason full-on deleted and blocked me there on Facebook. Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing? No, actually. I think like two pictures exist of us both in the frame, and that's not one of 'em. Do you think you will/did you cry at your graduation? I shed a couple tears. What’s your second favorite color? Maroon or coral, idk. Do ever wish you lived in a different country? Oh yes. Have you ever been involved in an affair? No. Are you a parent? No. What about an uncle or an aunt? I am. How many jobs have you had? Technically three, but two were so short-lived I barely even count them. Hell, saying I've even had a single job is hardly accurate. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? No. What was the last music video you watched? Did you like it? "Ausländer" by Rammstein, and I did enjoy it. All of their videos are always great. Have you ever had a pet turtle before? So as a kid, a red-eared slider (an invasive species, just to make this worse) wandered into our yard... aaaaand I kept it in our kiddy pool. I did eventually let it go where the turtle most likely did come from (a pond down the road), but that whole situation is something to NEVER repeat. Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? Yes, a doctor recently! It was even cooler because he was African American, straight outta Gambia actually, and one was this GORGEOUS, deep blue, and the other the traditional brown. He was awesome. Have you ever felt like someone was following you? YES. I have an EXTREME phobia of people standing behind me, I don't care how far away they are. DO NOT fucking stand behind me because I start panicking that you're going to grab me. Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? No, that's not something I'd be okay with doing. Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? I don't believe in the concept of soulmates, no. If you have any piercings, who did them? I know Claire's did my earlobes the first time and probably the second, then everything else I ever had were done by actual professionals at tattoo parlors. Please do not get your kid's ears pierced at Claire's for a number of reasons. Are you on your period? No; I'm actually like over a month late, but it has to be because I, first off, fucked up my birth control, but my meds have also been changing a lot and stuff and that can really affect your cycle. I'm not worried because Girt and I still haven't gone ~that far~ yet so being late literally can't mean anything that bad. Have you made out with anyone in the last 2 weeks? Yeah. Has a boy ever called you babe/baby? Yeah; I know Jason said one of them once, but I'd asked him to not call me it again and he never did again. I know Tyler did too, and once again, told him not to. Girt is the only one that has where it didn't REALLY make me uncomfortable, but neither to this day is my preference, so I'm thankful he doesn't use either a lot at all. Have you given anything up for Lent? I know I'd tried as a kid, but that was the extent of it. I don't think I ever succeeded any year. Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? No. Do you have a good friend of the opposite sex that is not a boy/girlfriend? Yes, Sam. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else would they be mad? Well yeah, and he'd have the right to be. Who was the last person you knew to have a baby? Uhhh... idk, I know so many people having kids around this time. Hell, most are onto their second. Has anyone ever cheated on their significant other for you? What Joel did was absolutely cheating, yes. What’s the age difference between your parents? Two years and a few months. What’s the nicest thing your best friend has ever said to you? Just that he loves me, ig would be the top. He's said a lot of sweet things. Name one of your favourite foods that starts with the letter "s." Shrimp. Ever had surgery? Yes, twice. Can you handle blood? Yeah. What’s your best friend’s middle name? He doesn't have a middle name. What color do you want your wedding suit/dress to be? It's very likely gonna be black. Would you have a party at your parent's house without their permission? I'd do that to neither parent, I respect them too much for that.

[biwooyoung]

how did u name ur animals (:

oh CUTE question!! so i didnt name my oldest dog, my mother and sister decided to name her after the dog from downton abbey (isis). then my sister and i named koda after the bear from brother bear because she looked like a teddy bear when she was a puppy. then i named my kitten because her birthstone is jasper <3

Inbox me (1) thing you want to know about me

[a-pirate]

The amazing friend, the wonderful @erectum has once again elevated my boy to another level. /sobs They gave him his tattoos, they made his eyebrow and extra cheek scars, reintroduced the helix piercings he used to have. And, the pièce. de. résistance, they gave him Teddy's dog tags.

Just a closeup his piercings. (The original version of Vendrik had the rings on his lobe and upper ear, and I had totally forgotten that fact until recently. And so we gave them back.)

But wait, what? Teddy's dog tags? What'd you do, just the name on Johnny's?, you ask. HAH! NEVER! (Also "just" - LOL.)

First off, look at how good those look. LOOK AT THEM. THEY'RE GORGEOUS.

Instead of trying to figure out what his tags would say (besides his name). These tags are a manifestation of my heart and the Ballcap Boys themselves, and you are about to see how cringe and cheesy I am.

The meanings are as follows: The top row is literally the ship name. It says BLL - CPB - YS, and like I explained when I first came up with the numbers, they were the hardest to finesse into the code. The second row starts with the years of the Unification War: 6970. The 0610 - 77 is the day I decided they officially met, since the game seems to take place in summer time based on the day/night cycle. (It's also Vendrik's birthday.) And finally, the 109 - 78 represents the day Vendrik's troubles with the Relic are officially over with in my personal canon, and when the Boys finally start living their lives truly together.

Teddy gives the tags to Vendrik before Vendrik goes to the job at the Crystal Palace.

And then there's the tattoos. The oldest one is the Eurodyne one, done by Veer Bakker when they were late teenagers and Vendrik (then called Erik) was going through superfan phase. It was terribly done but, over the years, both Veer and others touched it up to make it look better.

The Joshua tree. This one is more meta for myself than for Vendrik. Vendrik got the tattoo because he likes the plant. The window behind it has a Night City skyline, including the holographic ad towers which can be seen when the lighting's just right. I put the Joshua tree on him because it can be a symbol of strength and perseverance, both words I strongly associate with Vendrik.

This boy did not literally tattoo Teddy on his arm. Yes, he did. It's inspired of Teddy's holo icon, the bloody grinning bear, and Vendrik had the idea floating around in his head for a while. He wasn't really going to do it, but then he was just inebriated enough at just the right time and went for it. Teddy facepalmed so very hard when he saw it.

I cannot express how grateful I am to @erectum. Like, in a coherent, non-screeching way, I just can't. Thank you, so much. THANK YOU!!!!

[oh-for-fic-sake]

It’s A Match Chapter Two

Masterlist

Summary: as you and henry become closer he lets his family know there may be a new woman on the scene. And you surprize him by moving a little quicker then he had thought. Not that he is against it. He is all to eager to move along to the next step.

Warnings: RPF, Swearing, Angst, Heated Discussions, Fluff.

A/N: here is chapter two, this will only be a short fic maybe there or four chapters but i hope you all like it. This is just me writing down my fluffy fantasy.

Taglist: In Reblogs.

'Shes a big fluffy teddy bear, and loves hugs, even if Shes crushing me~' henry froze hands quivering nervously over the keyboard. You replied? You actually? Holy shit! He bit his lip sitting up straighter with a grin and smoothed his hair back. He wasn't sure why it made him so happy but? He had a reply, and actual reply from a person! A woman!

Now what?

He wracked his brain and frowned. What does he say? Does he ask questions or just talk about dogs? He didn't know all he did know is that he had messaged a complete stranger and she had messaged back.

'I can imagine moving her must be hard work if she's comfy'

'Yeah but on the plus side she's always warm~ a huge hot water bottle'

'A numb but warm set of legs then😂'

'Absolutely! That sounds like the talk of a man who's been there?'

'Yes I have an American Akita, a very snuggly boy that gives me atleast one dead leg a day😅'

'Aww I love Akita's, I was going to get one but them Amii sort of fell into my lap, and has stayed there ever since'

'Big or small a lap dog is a lap dog'

'Definitely😂' Henry paused. Shit what does he do now? Does he just ask questions? Explain a bit more about himself? Both seemed a little too juvenile... And it was scary... Awkward he wants a nice chat, for conversation to flow naturally. He didn't want to fuck up. There was another ping as you typed another message.

' I have to say I'm surprized I got a message on here, only been on here for a few days😅' henry was thankfull, you wasn't going to judge. You were both in the same boat. Both nervously talking to a stranger in the hopes of there being something more. It made replying a little easier, he hoped that things would get less awkward after breaking the ice.

'Really? I made mine today... not sure about all this new online stuff but will figure it out'

'Well I'd say your doing alright,  at least you had the courage to message someone, i made the profile then chickened out😅'

'I almost did, your the first profile that caught my eye'

'Was it Amii?'

'No, as cute as she is you lacked a duck face selfie, and you look very sweet and have kind eyes' henry froze after sending the message. Shit, shit! That was fucking cheese! Cringe and just a fuck up! He quickly wracked both hands through his hair and cursed trying to think of a way to get out of this but nothing came to mind... And then he saw it the tiny y/n is typing... At the bottom of the screen, he winced dreading the reply he was going to get. He bit his lip worried he hopes he hasn't tripped at the first hurdle.

'Thank you that's kind of you to say. And is a missing duck face that strange?🤔'

'Every woman has a duck face'

'Well I do not have a duck face'

'Really?🤨'

'Well not a good one 😅My duck face is sub par more a fish face, call me guppy😂' he chuckled, you did have a sense of humour which was good. He liked making people laugh and not having them take everything so seriously, it meant he could relax and let loose. To just have fun! He heaved a big sigh unconsiously petting Kal as he sat up and leant on his leg. He quickly began typing once more finding it easier chatting with a stranger with each message.

'🤣🤣 I got to admit I'm not sure what to talk about, this is my first time🤔'

'Well that makes us both online virgins😅lets start with the important things shall we?' Henry froze panicking. 'Oh god! Oh god! What ere you going to ask?!' He thought watching the little dots on the screen holding his breath dreading you'd ask for picture or something. He was put out of his misery with a tiny ping sound and your message popped up. He threw his head back and laughed outloud seeing the all important question.

'Who's your favourite superhero?' You were definitely a geek girl, just like he wanted. He bit his lip and typed without needing to think of the answer.

'Superman, afterall he is the grand daddy of all superheroes. You?'

'Oh your not gonna like this~ I love batman🤗' henry smiled at the screen and leant back wiping his mouth trying to massage the ache from his cheeks. He really was grinning ear to ear just from speaking to you so... Unguarded he was just being himself and it was freeing!

'Oh no!😱can I ask why?' He typed quickly not wanting you to think he was going to keep you on read? Was that what they called it nowadays?

'He proves that at 30 you can have a dramatic goth early midlife crisis and that regular assholes can be heroes too, all you need is money🤗🤗'

'🤣🤣 oh god! You know I never thought of it like that!' henry shook his head laughing out loud as he replied

'But you'll be happy to know supes is number three on my list'

'Well he makes the top three so that's salvageable😆'

'Yeah... Two is Captain America though'

'Rich goth with issues, man with an expensive tea tray, then supes got it 👌👍'

'Omg yes!😂that's sums it up beautifully🤣' after that the conversation moved on which he was a little thankful for. Not that he disliked geeking out but... it'd be easy for him to slip up on that subject. Luckily though he didn't have to think of a change of topic as you began chatting away casually about your day and he did in return before long the conversation was over too soon as you stated you really had to get on with filling out these payslips. So the chat drew to a close with promises of speaking tomorrow.

And you kept your promise. For the next week you both spent your evenings chatting away at one another becoming fast friends. That was when he decided to let his family know in the new weekly face time zoom chats.

He looked to the screen fidgeting as his family spoke amongst themselves trying to find the right moment to break the news. But his mother had noticed and asked him out right, leaning closer to the screen watching him worriedly.

"Henry? Are you alright your looking nervous?" The others stopped speaking at the question and henry heaved a sigh nervously twisting his fingers.

"Yeah yeah I... I just have some news... Is all" he said swallowing trying to find the words. He was worried, it had been a while since he'd tried to introduce someone new into his life and his family. He didn't want to alarm them but... he wanted to forewarn them that he was on his way to hopefully sharing his life with someone.

"News? Oh its nothing bad is it?" His younger brother asked, but his oldest paused straightening up with a smile already guessing his brother had taken his advice.

"No nothing bad... Its really good actually... I'm sort of... well I'm speaking to someone online... A woman"  he stuttered rubbing the back of his neck and called Kal onto the sofa with him stroking his fur trying to calm himself and fend of the huge grin that seemed to spread across his face everytime he thought of you.

"You did it?" His eldest brother called out clapping his hands excitedly. A ripple of confusion washed over the others and they frowned looking to one another unsure what had happened between the two.

"Did what love?" His mother finally asked not understanding what her sons were talking about

"I made an online dating profile" he said plainly drawing gasps from everyone.

"Oh gosh love are you okay? Your not being hounded are you?" His mother jumped immediately concern etched deep in her features. His father looked uncomfortable-hell they all did! Each worrying over him. He wasn't surprized they had seen fans both love and hate on him and his partners.

"No mum its fine-better then fine I'm really carful... I've covered my ass and no one knows its me, she doesn't know" he said trying to placate his family but instead he was rewarded with disappointed faces, tutting and small, cringing hisses. Fuck.

"Oh god Henry you haven't made a fake profile? Tell me you didn't- please tell me your not lying to this poor woman" his father scolded sternly. His dad may not be up to speed with all this new age online dating shenanigans but he did know that it was wrong to lie to a potential partner. Just thinking that one of his boys were doing just that left a bad taste in his mouth. If he could he would clip his son around the ear!

"Well no not exactly- its me and I'm myself on there I just... changed my name to Hank... And crop my photos so she can see me but not recognise me that's all! I swear I'm not lying or-or anything!" he explained willing then to understand but with the deep sighs and unimpressed looks he got it would seem they didn't understand or approve.

"Are you sure about this? What will she think if things get serious and then this young lady finds out you've been lying?" he father spoke up again wanting to hash this out. Henry faltered for a moment, he worried about that too. He was frightened that you'd get angry and leave him without even giving him a chance!

"I'm not lying, I just? just omitting certain details about my life, I'm being me I'm showing her the real quirky geeky side of me- this is? Its my one shot! The only chance I'm going to get to have someone look at me, not what they can get out of me... I'm not going to blow it or hurt her... if we get to that point then I will explain things- she'd understand she's really thoughtful and is logical" henry pleaded trying to convince both himself and his family. He cant ignore it, he was worried and had been telling himself over and over you'd understand. But he also knew it could really shake you up. But what he was doing wasn't wrong! It couldn't be helped, he thought they would understand!

"Well I hope so because you could break her heart son... And I want you to understand that, this woman could fall for you. You could really upset her when she finds out" his father finally spoke drawing the issue to a close not wanting to argue, but he still wanted henry to know what ever happens was his own fault good or bad. Not everything ends with a happy ever after, but he didn't need to voice that out loud. Henry knew, they all did.

"I know dad, I've only been speaking to her just over a week anyway, for all i know she will ghost me or something" henry nodded calming a little not wanting to fight but still it was clear to everyone henry hadn't appreciated the lecture.

"Ghosting?" he mum perked up trying to diffuse the situation not wanting this to blow up. Tensions were high and no one needed a family spat at the moment.

"Its when someone stop talking to you and ignores you for no reason" his brother revealed explaining the term to his parents. They both ahh'd in realisation but were still a little tense. So his younger brother spoke up deciding to try and be more supportive to him. And henry was thankful.

"Well how about you tell us about her henry. What's you lady freind like? What does she do?" henry quickly grinned forgetting the irritation. His family watched the sudden change as henry got the chance to boast about the woman who had caught his fancy. It was sobering to see, he was glowing with pride and excitement, overjoyed from just thinking about this mystery girl.

"She's just? God where do I start? Shes amazing and funny and wholesome... She doesn't live too far away- Shes pretty much on my doorstep! Shes really funny and nice we talk everyday and have soo much in common its amazing we like the same music and tv and just- everything! Its like talking to a female version of myself! And Shes a fan too" his family all seemed to warm to the idea of this woman until his final remark. Everyone paused. And so did he, what was so wrong about her being a fan? Why was that a red flag for them and not him?

"A fan? Henry... are you sure she doesn't know? If she's a fan she might know and be... making her answers more favourable" henry bristled at that and visibly leaned back brows furrowed and eyes glowing, showing as much anger as he dared show his mother who had spoken out against you.

"What? No! No she doesn't mum she hasn't got a clue- Shes not a fan of mine per say but? She likes my work, she's a huge lover of DC and fantasy so has seen the Witcher and she loved it! Shes really just like me! Is that really hard to believe? That there are women like me? That enjoy the same things?" what had started as a panicked explination quickly became heated and sour. His words slowly becoming uncharacteristically venomous. But Marie Ann new it was just him getting defensive, he was frightened. He had this silly belief he was an abnormality, that his interests will make him forever alone. The thing that did stand out was just how defensive he was about you. A woman he'd probably not even met yet, someone he was only chatting to. It wasn't like henry to take to someone soo quickly. It made her hopeful, that he really had found someone, found his soulmate. But she was a mother and couldn't help worry over him, no matter how old or huge her boys got they were just that. Her boys. And she will always feel the need to look after them.

"Henry please don't get angry, I didn't mean to upset you but... I worry" she said slowly trying to calm him before he got himself into a tizzy. She could see much more then he wanted her too. And right now he was anxious, probably questioning himself over this woman and the way he was approaching her. She could only hope her son was right and had covered his ass and that this woman was as understanding as he said. Otherwise henry was about to get a wakeup call like never before. It wasn't everyday a well known actor fakes a dating profile. It'd be a media shitstorm that he may not recover from.

"I.. sorry I didn't mean to- y/n isn't like that I... I just know alright she isn't after anything" henry apologized smoothing back his hair taking a huge breath and leant back once more relaxing.

"So why don't you tell us a little more about her son? You've been speaking for a week so must know a little more then her name and were she lives?" she said moving on wanting to coax more information about the woman.

"Well she has her own successful business that caters to dogs, walking, grooming and rehoming and is a kc registered breeder. Shes thirty years old and... Absolutely stunning- and no she hasn't filtered any photos either...wait here! See?! Isn't she beautiful?" Henry gushed quickly bringing up your profile picture he had saved on his phone and holding the phone to the camera. He heard a few compliments but could still see the worry in his family. He understood but he just new. He new that you were real, that you were honest and everything you said you were. You were blunt and didn't have time for games, you said life's too short for that crap. And he agreed.

"You have a photo saved already?" henry faltered at the question that had followed a round of compliments and quickly pulled his phone back flushing embarrassed he hadn't even thought of how that would look

"I.. w-well yeah... I'm gonna ask for her number soon and want a photo for my phone... We decided to stick to messaging for a while first and" he tried desperately to dig himself out of the hole he'd just unceremoniously swan dived into. But his brothers burst into laughter making whipping motions making him flush and shrink further. They were definetly going to busting his balls for this. But with a quick shake of his head he continued to gush about you wanting to side step this whole premature photo saving incident.

"she doesn't have Instagram or snapchat... she's just... I can't explain it she's just funny and sweet and genuine... I really like her.. I could easily fall for her" silence reigned after his admission and everyone saw just how serious and devoted henry was to trying to make this relationship work. His mum nodded with a smile, this was just a watch and wait scenario. This woman would either make or break her son, and all she could do was hope to god it was the former.

"Okay then love. I'm happy for you henry just be careful okay?" she finally drew the curtain on the subject and everyone sighed in relief.

"I will, I promise but you have nothing to worry about, I just wanted to let you guys know that i might have someone for you to meet in a few months" henry said eagerly, like a small boy waiting on Christmas eve. He was full of life and enthusiasm. It was nice to see this side to him again, she'd dare say he was well on his way to being loved up! Smitten.

"And we look forward to it henry, but take your time. There's no rush just enjoy yourself" one of his brothers spoke up jumping in on the conversation wanting to make it clear they all had his back whether this ended good or bad. For now they were happy for him.

"I will, we decided were wont meet for a while and just see how things go for the time being but... I have a good feeling, she's everything I've been looking for I'm really excited" henry preened trying to pace himself, he didn't need to be daydreaming in a family face time. Luckily he was pulled from the edge of his own fantasies by another question.

"You said she had a company?"

"Yeah here I'll send you the link its called Puptown! She's actually handled Kal a few times, I send him there for his nails and teeth" henry said quickly sending the link to his brother. He wasn't stupid they were going to look you up, they were worried. He might aswell sent them the link. There was a tiny bio on there of you- the owner on the staff page that had all the staffs qualifications and roles on there.

You moved through the groom room Amii was curled up under your desk fast asleep as you began taking a stock list. Recently you'd been getting more and more white dogs in for their groom so needed to top up on the bright white shampoo and it was tick season soon so had to double check you had all the tick removal forceps, and ear powder- lots of ear powder the poodle clients had doubled over lock down after all the new puppies bought in lockdown. Every dog deserves a professional groom. But poodles needed them.

"hey boss! You doing another check?" Mandy called as she hoisted a tiny black poem into the bath. Bella a regular and very few people could actually groom her out of the five staff only two of you dared to try. And you didn't blame them this dog was a tiny savage, but the trick was not to show fear.  

"yeah, trying to prepare for summer already, you know i think this will be our busiest yet especially with lord whiskey." you muttered nibbling the pen and moving a few bottles about. Flea treatment and some dry skin conditioner were quickly added to your growing list.

"lord whiskey?" Mandy asked louder over the sound of the shower instantly Bella began snarling like the hell demon she was. On walks and about the place she was a little soppy loving lap pup, but when it came to bath time? Different dog. You cant help thinking she had a bad experiance before she came here. You sighed and placed the pad and pen down standing along side the bathe and began petting the tiny dog.

"yeah they are the vet clinic for lower incomes... They want to set up a new clinic and have reached out" you explained you had to admit the request came out of the blue and you hadn't had chance to tell everyone yet. The staff meeting was on Friday.

"that would be good!" she said slowly wetting the snarling prom that was trying her absolute hardest to frighten you both off. But alas she was no great wolf, but a teeny cute little raging fluff nugget, and to her utter dispair neither you or Mandy found her scary at all. Even if she was trying to foam at the mouth.

"yeah that's what I thought, having a vet on site... We're still talking but if everything goes acording to plane we will have the mobile vet out front while setting up the small clinic... I was thinking in the old groom rooms? They had water and electricity already and its a littl out of the way so the unwell puppets can be separate from the healthy customers" you shrugged moving around Mandy to help tend to your most vocal customer.

"so business will be booming?" Mandy said moving to rinse underneath the small feral beast. You giggled and stood Bella on her back legs as she seethed but in between her savagery she was actually licking at you, showing a hint of the sweet girl she really was. You pet her praising her promising chicken treats and snuggles afterwards. You might even pop Amii in with the others in the small day care pen. Bella liked laying on her using the huge dog as a fluffy bed.

"yes hopefully, i mean were not taking anything for them, they are a charity but hopefully we will get a few visits in the shop? And the more people know about us the more likely they are to use us!" you said you had been weighing up the pros and cons about the new venture. More people visiting the premises, more footfall in the shop and hopefully you can draw enough people to have a little pet café. Your business was right on the edge of the huge woodland park you'd always wanted a small café that serves both animals and people you want a little empire to become a franchise company and give the little guys a chance.

"And how about you? Any luck on the online dating front?" she asked with a small smile. You sighed you half regretted telling her about it. Mandy has been with you since the beginning, she was your first employee and most trusted freind. And she has been hounding you about your love life for a while now. She wants you to take a step back from Puptown and find some time for yourself, and now that the business was established and ticking over nicely it was the time to do it.

"Ooo! Oh my god your blushing!? Bitch spill!" she squealed excited as you flushed and looked away not answering her. And by doing so answering her at the same time.

"I'm talking to someone~ Hank.. He is... Funny and charming we've been chatting each night for about a week" you revealed quietly making her beam at you. Thankfully Bella chose that moment to make a mad dive over your shoulder but you managed to catch her and pop her back into the tub.

"ooo yes get in girl, you have been pouring too much into this company! Its about damn time you focused on yourself" sandy began as she washed Bella lathering the pup with a rather expensive de-sheading anti tangle shampoo.

"Please don't start, I'm doing it now and that's what matters. He is... He messaged me first and things are going good and that's where I'm going to leave it okay? I will update you as we go... I promise" you said releasing the now wet pup as Mandy began rinsing her down. You stepped back to the shelves full of half empty bottles of product. needing to change the topic to avoid daydreaming and fucking up your orders. As great as the wholesaler was this was still expensive stuff and you didn't want to unbalance the books and get more then you needed.

"Oh Bella?~ baby girl its so bad isn't it? Being brushed and washed and massaged? Then getting yourself a blow out and having a nap in the nice cosy play room?" you called over your shoulder condescendingly at the pup who was still snarling out her displeasure. She really was a little brat in the bath.

Another week passed and you were lazing around the house having a duvet day, snuggled in bed with Amii on your lap. Normally your days off were all housework and finalizing orders or paper work but this week was different. With lord whiskey agreeing to taking the old groom room you decided to finally get an extra set of hands in management to take care of paperwork. It was strange at first but worth it. You now hade someone else to rely on, not that you didn't have managers to help out before but now you had a full time employee that's whole role was to take care of the business side and alleviate the pressure. So instead of the normal made rushes and mountain of paperwork you were in bed chatting away with henry.

He had just finished his work out and was relaxing, having a cool down before having yet another painfully boring sounding meeting with his own bosses. You sympathised. Practical work was the bomb! But the theory and paperwork kicked everyones asses. Risk assessments can eat shit! I'm a person and can asses the risk and decided to do it, why answer to a tick box system? But then again everything needed a tick in a box nowadays. You shuffled about grunting as Amii played dead on your lap so you couldn't move her from the comfy slump she was in over your thighs pinning you down.

'Soo you said you game?'  was the message that changed the subject, thankfully choosing to move on from speaking about work.

'God yes, when I can'

'What do you play? Sims and stuff?'

'depends if I'm on pc or xbox I'm more into fantasy and historic rpgs, but if I'm on my switch its little farming sims sometimes I branch out to things like shooters but not often, I like the big immersive fantasies!'

'So you really do mix and match are you playing anything atm?'

'I'm doing a re-run of skyrim with a load of mods just to spice things up. And just restarted Witcher wild hunt again'

'You like Witcher?'

'I adore it, Witcher skyrim and dragon age are my all time favourites, do you? Sorry I realise I'm just takeing over, I just get excited, I never really talk about this stuff 😅😅'

'No, no its fine I'm the same, I never really get to geek out anymore with work and stuff. I'm happy to have the chance, and I do love the Witcher too fantasy is my thing😄' henry paused for a moment. Should he? I mean you just said you were replaying it... Would it be big headed? To ask what you thought of the show? Of his performance... I mean it'd be an unbiased view, you wasn't going to try and butter him up you still didn't know it was him.

'So you've watched the show on Netflix I presume?' he typed and pressed send quickly before he lost his nerve.

'Absolutly, I binge watched it a few times.😅'

'You liked it? I know a few people didn't' henry couldn't help but dig a little deeper, he desperately wanted you to have enjoyed it.

'I loved it, but I think it was easier for me to watch bc I new what was roughly going on before hand. Most people that struggled thought it was going to be an easy watch? Like got'

'Oh come on, there must be something you didn't like?🤔🤔'

'😞okay you got me, I was a tad disappointed with geralts eyes you can do the toxic eyes and cat eye potion at least give me a teeny cat eye just a smidge🤏🥺'

'Yes I see what you mean, their could have been a little frame of it but there are always sacrifices when going from books to the big screen 😅'

'But henry's portrayal more then made up for it! That man was on point! I was so happy when they anounced it was him playing Geralt there was no way he was going to fuck it up!' henry stopped breathing. You liked it? You actually like him playing Geralt? His heart swelled and he laughed out loud for some reason you enjoying his work just... It meant the world to him! He was over the moon. Quickly his attention was drawn to his tablet again as another message pinged on screen.

'And I have a little fan theory over the whole eye issue😏'

'Hit me with it I'm all ears'

'Geralt has complete control of his eyes right? And is a softy deep down so my idea was he is always holding his pupils open so he doesn't scare anyone'

'🧐that is brilliant! It makes so much sense! 🥰🥰 its also nice to know I have a little conspiracy fangirl on my hands😁'  henry frowned heart clenching as you went quiet, he waited and waited minuets seemed like hours. His mind immediately jump to conclusions terrified you had caught him, that you'd figured out just who you were speaking to. Sweat formed on his brow as he frowned praying he hadn't got a little to close to home and given himself away. Then the dots appeared. You were typing.

'So I was wondering I know we agreed not to at first but since we've chatting every night I thought we could maybe exchange numbers? Only if you want to! No pressure. I'm just excited' henry slumped, melting into his seat. Thank fuck for that! His relief quickly became excitement at the prospect of hearing you! Actually speaking to you properly having an actual phone call? Fuck yes!

'😊😊I was actually trying to find the time to mention it myself, i know its only been three weeks but it feels much longer.'

'Omg thank god! I thought you would think i was rushing you😅here xxx xxxx xxxx' henry was quick to pull out his phone and type the number in, not wasting any time in creating your contact info into his phone book. And whislt doing that also replied to you putting you at ease.

'No not at all, I'm excited I cant wait to hear you🥰'

'Oh god don't build your hopes to high I don't have the most attractive voice it may be the deal breaker😅'

'I doubt that anything could put me off you love, your gorgeous, smart, funny, kind everything I could of dreamed of and soo much more'

'I'm glad its not only me Hank, I have to say I was frightened by how quickly we have become friends, but I suppose it makes sense we are two peas in a pod' henry grinned reading the message and nodded to himself pressing the small green call button and held the phone to his ear feeling confident as he re-read your last message.

You hummed nibbling your lip, chewing it nervously after giving out your number. You couldn't help your mind dredging up all the horror stories of Ted bundy-esque creepy ass psycho killers, luring in prey on the internet... Fuck you were a bigger girl so easy to sweet talk. You whined and snuggled into the massive furry lump on your lap, lacing your fingers into the dogs thick fur. Petting her as your over active imagination conjured scenario's that could end up with you in a eight foot hole in someone's basement ,being told to 'put the lotion in the basket'. Jesus Christ. But it was fine right? He wasn't weirded out or anything? He seemed happy. You were sensible, or at least you thought you were.

You yipped at your phone suddenly vibrated in your hand, you almost threw it across the room. The screen lit up with 'unknown number' you swallowed eyeing the device then nodded answering the call heart beat thundering in your chest your breath picked up you made to speak but couldn't quite make sounds, unable to force the words to roll off your tongue. There was a deep chuckle, gorgeas and rumbling even if it was quiet.

"You have no reason to be frightened darling I'm just as eager to move on" you gasped as the thick voice spoke in slow syllables, calling you by the nick name he had taken to calling you. You'd asked a few girls at work about it, worried things were going to fast. But they had calmed you down saying it was his way of avoiding being freind zoned. You had to admit the cute little names always made you grin and blush, but this? God this was better then anything! His low timber and slightly more eloquent accent uttering the name sent a shiver up your spine.

A surprizing reaction in all honesty, you'd never really thought about voices much, never had a voice kink or really thought anyone could have an attractive voice. Well not a real voice anyway, sometimes characters on tv with low raspy voices got you going Geralt and Alcide to name a few. He almost sounded like the former if you thought about it... Just more refined? A regal soft lilt.  It was definetly a voice you could listen to all day, this man could read you a bloody take away menu and you wouldn't even gruff at the extortionate prices. You wet your lips and dug your fingers into the warm dog in your lap breathing deep, filling your lungs with air trying to ease yourself and draw in some courage.

"O-oh your? Really there? Really.. real?" you stuttered slowly. You chided yourself for sounding so silly, so childish. But you couldn't help it you felt completely unprepared. Which irritated you because it was you who'd offered your number, what were you expecting him to do with it? Use carrier pigeon? Of course he was going to call you.

"I'm most definitely real love" he spoke again with a small chuckle, he was clearly amused by your flustered question. You blushed and squirmed on your seat trying to breath quietly, you didn't want him to hear just how on edge you were.

"Oh gosh that's.. wow I cant even, I don't know what to say" you huffed trying to think of something- anything else you could focus on rather then the absolute sex that was his voice, then he spoke once more

"Now, now don't be shy love, I want to hear you, your voice is just as I thought it'd be" henry tried encouraging you wanting to hear you and revel in your sweet voice, wanting to commit it to memory.

"Oh? And what's that then?" you asked trying to be playfull but in all honesty you wasn't hitting the mark, you were to nervous. You'd never really thought about your voice, was it attractive? Or too high? Deep? I mean you were normal, you spoke normal and if anything sounded common.

"Pure and delicate, playful and charming all in one just like the woman it belongs to" henry's breathing hitched as you giggled. The sweet tinkling laugher warmed his heart and made him huff out a chuckle himself. He was so happy he could have cried. It was just so overwhelming to hear you finally, to put a voice to the amazing woman he was slowly falling inlove with. He sometimes grew wary thinking you were too good to be true, that you were a catfish yourself. But here and now he knew. You were as real as him and all it did was solidify his resolve, he was doing the right thing. He was falling for a genuine woman. A real woman with no strings attached, and with any luck you were feeling the same.

"well I think I just found my mans flaw~" you giggled once more blushing under the weight of all the compliments. He was really smooth, smoother then you'd thought and that was saying something.

"really darling? Care to enlighten me?" he quipped playfully you usual banter and teasing between you both flowing just as effortlessly as it had when messaging each other.

"your clearly deaf! Well have no fear, i will talk a little louder and learn some sign language for you~" you laughed out loud he joined you low echoing chuckles that sounded as if they came from a deep wide chest. It was enough to drive you mad with lust, but that may be the new found voice kink brewing.

"well its nice to know you are so committed to your man and his disability love" suddenly you froze and trembled panic and anxiety washed over you clogging  your wind pipe at his words... Fuck!

"oh god- no I? Your not really deaf are you? I'm sorry I didn't mean to make fun-" you began apologizing not quite picking up on his sarcasm. Henry was quick to cut you off and stop your guilty rambling.

"No love I'm not deaf I was just pulling your leg" his voice was strained as if he was trying not to laugh at you, but you couldn't really say anything. You were the one nervously crack jokes then immediately trying to take them back. Stumbling your wat through the very first real conversation with a man you were crushing on. God you were such a dweeb!

"oh Jesus you scared the crap out of me" you heaved a sigh wanting to bury yourself into the covers and hide despite knowing he couldn't see your glowing face.

"I apologize darling, I have only the purest of intentions... Well maybe not that pure~ but I don't want to scare you" he grinned when you gasped at his little flirtatious comment. And he wasn't kidding, he found you incredibly attractive and wanted to do all manner of very filthy things with you. It didn't help when you were sending him photos of you drenched nipples hard and drawing him in like a moth to a flame. You probably hadn't even noticed that and he was thankfull for it because you wouldn't have sent it otherwise. It was his favourite photo, apparantly it had been a husky escape from the bath as you switched his lead to another hook.

"your fine, I'm just a little nervous is all" you huffed finally somehow managing to sort yourself out and think clearly overcoming your excitement and nerves.

"I understand but just remember its just me love. So have anything else planned for today?" henry hummed sweetly before giving you a chance to change the topic, you'd never know it was because he was barely holding himself together. He was almost bursting at the seams wanted to laugh and cry and shout all at once. He was completely overwhelmed with joy and relief and wanted to listen to you as much as he possibly could.

Both you and henry then began the nightly ritual of phone calls and texted all day. He even had a new nick name. Puppy. And he couldn't be more thrilled you'd said it was because he made tiny cute puppy whines when you teased him. But he didn't care, he would happily be your puppy anyday!

The weeks became one month, then two and before you knew it you were one week shy of three months. And that was when it happened. Those fateful words left his mouth as he spoke to you just before bed. He had asked to meet, he was certain and confident he wanted to meet you and take this further, and he hadn't really planned to ask it just happened.

"So your really letting lord whiskey in your old groom space? That's incredible, I'm so proud of you for letting them in love. It says volumes for you and your business, that its not all profit driven" henry spoke down the phone as he stirred his tea getting ready to go up to bed.

"I mean it just seems right... No matter the income everyone should be able to get medical care for their animals. And I'd be lying if I didn't hope some people will come into the shop or realise that we are here and come back for our facilities." he smiled at that. You wasn't just trying to make a great profitable business, you cared and wanted to give everyone a reasonably priced alternative to pooch care. And he was right behind you, he loved that you were trying to give owners the chance to spoil their fur babies without breaking the bank. In slashing your prices you'd attracted more customers and been making a great profit, so much so that you could afford to just give away your old groom rooms to the charity for free.

"shop? You have a shop?" he pondered padding about the kitchen giving Kal his nightly biscuit treat and motioned for him to take it upstairs. Which he didn't need to do, Kal new the jig and was already carrying the treat to the stairs.

"yeah it opened last year? The year before maybe? Its small but here with food and treats a few toys and leads... I try to use smaller businesses the brands that you wont see in the bigger shops" you said slowly and he heard a small yawn and rustle of paper. You had said you were packing up and heading to bed for the night soon.

"I may have to pop over with the bear~" he teased coyly humming to himself as he sipped his tea.

"pop over? I.. Well you could I suppose?" you hummed quietly, henrys eyes almost popped out of his head were you inviting him to ask you out? He coughed quickly trying not to choke on the mouthful of tea and then rocked his head from side to side. I mean he could come over and see you.

"I'm only ten minuet's away darling, Kensington... I've actually used your grooming service once or twice getting the bears nails and teeth done"

"oh?! I didn't know that." you said trying to picture the owners of the akita you saw, but honestly? You had soo many customers now it was hard remembering everyone, that and you wasn't really front of house now, you had more and more to deal with back of house, even with the new manager.

"well you do now sweetheart... So? Do you want to meet up tomorrow?" he asked placing his tea down in favour of crossing his fingers hoping he had read your signals right.

"Yeah of course I'm covering for walking duty tomorrow... So I can't really do anything in the morning or early afternoon" henry fist pumped and grinned faking a silent shout of victory as he managed to wrangle a date.

"That's fantastic actually... I could meet you in the park? I'll bring the bear with me and we could walk the dogs and grab a coffee or something?" he said somehow managing to quell his excitement enough to arrange the date properly, placeing a hand on his heart as it beat wildly. The realisation that he could see you- meet you face to face!

"Yeah that sounds like a brilliant idea, will noon be alright? That's when we do a switch over and go back to feed the dogs in day care so I'll have an hour lunch break" you said stuttering a little when it began to sink in that this was happening!

"Its a date I will see you tomorrow at noon love" Henry anounced eagerly suddenly tomorrow couldn't come soon enough!

"See you then puppy, good night sweet dreams" you said needing to hang up and squeal into a pillow or something.

"sweet dreams love" as soon as he hung up he was already scrolling his phone selecting the number he was after and called in a tizzy.

"Piers?! Piers! I'm? Oh god- were meeting tomorrow and fuck- I'm freaking out already! What do I say? What should I wear- kal's coming too do I put his halti on or just his collar- fuck I don't know what to do!? Please help!" he yelped down the phone to the unsuspecting man drawing a deep sigh from him before he began talking him down.

[nightingale-interactive]

📚 Check the bookshelf. What kind of books are on it? Is it organized at all?

& ⌛ What’s the oldest or most worn-out thing you can find in this room?

For Christian\Christian’s room

Stepping into the room, I'm immediately brought back to a time of innocent adolescence. The various toys scattered nearest the box on the far-side of the room; all collecting dust after being unused for so long. Shifting my gaze, I trek over the clear path of maturity the room took through the years. Teddy bears turning to race tracks to books; all of them well taken care of.

Not knowing what else to do, I decide to examine:

The large bookshelves that were built directly into the wall. All of the books, no matter how old, being well taken care. Various titles stick out to me; Northanger Abbey, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, and Villette to name a few. All organized in a way that would only make sense to the man who owns the shelves.

Turning my attention to the bed, I can't help the small smile that quirks my lips. An old dog toy sat in the direct center of the bed. Chewed on, but clearly loved, it was quite the contrast to the clean bedspread of its surroundings. Teddy emblazoned proudly on the nametag that was hung from the neck of the old toy.

[dumbasscorn]

Exothermic - chapter eleven

Amalthea vs Sam Uley

"Ah fuck, Mal! Why'd you do that? I'm suffering from a deadly illness!"

Previous chapter 

1,016 words 

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School was surprisingly quite bland without the oversized teddy bear. It was quiet. Well, that is other than Jackson pestering her over when Trevor would be better and how he can not get sick because the game is in two weeks.

"Jesus Jackson, text your friend to complain." Amalthea referred to the boy by his first name, knowing he'll start his spiel of her not having to say his royal title every time she spoke to him.

"I did text him, Amalthea. He texted me back saying to bother you for him. Hence, me making it my life goal to pester you!"

"That bitch. He's getting his ass kicked when I see him later, I swear to god."

Jackson faltered in his speed walking, tilting his head toward the girl. "Why're you going over there, silly goose? You'll get sick!"

"Mr. Huber has a paper that Uley needs. That, and dumb-dumb asked me to yesterday. If I do him a solid, he'll just have to repay me." She winked at the blonde.

Jackson sighed, "Fine then. Wear a mask, though! Or you can't be around me, darlin'!" He ruffled her hair, dodging the hand she threw to slap him.

"Yes, because that would be so terrible." The girl mumbled, pushing Jackson away from her and going to the old truck Bella sat in. Jackson, of course, yelled that he'd see her tomorrow and to give Trevor a distanced hug for him. Amalthea replied with an indecent gesture that would make Charlie proud.

The two teenage girls rode back to Charlie's house in silence, the only noise being Thea fiddling with the zipper of her jacket.

"Bella, can we go to Uley's house first? I gotta give him homework and a punch for being a bitch. Kinda don't need Uncle Charlie seeing me deck a boy a week and a half into my stay."

Bella side eyed her and nodded, asking for directions that lead to the boys house.

Pulling up the stand alone house surrounded by trees, Thea pulled the papers out of her shabby bag and slammed the trucks door shut.

Feeling her feet sink into the wet grass, Amalthea walked toward the dark mahogany door that hid a teen boy and his mother behind it.

Laying three solid knocks onto the hard wood, Thea rubbed the pads of her thumb and fore finger together. She really hoped it was the idiot who answered the door and not his mother-- that would be uncomfortable.

Surely enough, Trevor Uley swung the front door open, grinning at the black haired girl standing on his porch. He opened his arms to take her in, not expecting the punch she gave his bicep.

"Ah fuck, Mal! Why'd you do that? I'm suffering from a deadly illness!" Trevor pouted, caressing the arm that fell victim to the assault.

"No touching me, Uley. You're sick and annoying." Amalthea stared blankly.

His jaw sank, arms crossing in an argumentative manner, "Mal you just touched me when you abused me! Which was totally uncalled for, by the way!"

"Well I had to do that, it was retribution for telling Jackson to annoy me since you're not there. So, yes-- very called for."

Trevor frowned, forgetting he told his friend to do such a thing.

Amalthea handed Uley the papers assigned as homework, immediately stepping back to keep a distance between the two. She was not a very nice person when sick, her dad would very much vouch for that.

"Mal, you're the bestest best friend in the world!" He smiled exaggeratedly, hugging the homework to his body, "I'm gonna love have death by calculus on my tomb stone!"

Amalthea rolled her eyes at the boy, turning on her heels to walk back to the truck. Trevor called out for Thea, causing for her to stop mid twist, eyebrow raised in question.

"We've got two weeks till the game, pretty please with a cherry on top go! What if I'm still sick and dying by then?" He gave her puppy dog eyes, silently pleading for her to cave in.

Thea scoffed at the look he was giving her.

"If you're not dead and leave me alone, I'll think about it." She yielded.

Trevor jumped from his spot, moving to bombard her with a giant hug. Thea tutted, pushing him away again with all her strength.

As the two were having a conversation with one another about who-knows-what, Isabella Swan drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, wishing for her cousin to hurry up. Staring at the trees, searching for something that will give at least a little entertain, Bella noticed a rustling in the trees that couldn't have been made from the wind blowing. Seeing a flash of color speed through the trees, Bella gave into her antsy feeling and laid a small beep on the horn, signaling for her cousin to wrap it up.

Amalthea and Trevor saw Bella oddly anxious, spotting a certain stalker-ish brother walking up the drive way soon after.

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me dude." Trevor grunted under his breath, turning to Thea. Her gave her a look that said, 'see!'

As much as she wanted to stay and laugh at the weird conversation Uley would have with his brother, Bella honked her horn once again.

Toeing her way down the stairs and away from Trevor, Thea looked the oldest Uley in the eye as she passed by.

Sam Uley glared at Amalthea as she walked backwards to the truck, watching as she struggled to hold in a snort. She made eye contact with Trevor, who mouthed 'See, I told you! Stalker!' to her. Smirking, she twirled on her toes and leapt over a puddle to the passenger door.

Dramatically making a show of settling into the seat and buckling herself in, Thea blew a kiss to Sam and gave a sarcastic smile to Trevor, who's face started going pink from holding in a chuckle. It didn't go unnoticed how quickly Bella left from the boys house-- turning back once, only to see Sam eyeing her moodily.

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y'all i had such a scare after finishing writing this. i went to copy it to save on another document so i didn't lose it and accidentally deleted it all. by heart fell to my ass but i thank god clicked off before it saved and didn't delete it all lols

sorry for the three week break, i was depressed and wanted to die LOLLLL, how're y'all tho

Tag List: @ivettt​ @jjpogueprincess @demigodslut

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[darkestdesired]

Teachers Pet

Part 2.

An: I am so sorry this took so long there is honestly no excuse!

For this one I honestly just played off the idea of the reader being taller than Oswald and him being just like ‘I’m baby’,like full on obsession and heart eyes towards her and treating her like she’s a goddess.

I have a horrible size kink , and a baby and mommy/daddy kink.

I hope you like it and again I am so sorry! @kpopgirlbtssvt

_______________________

Waking up to the sound of banging on my door was not the morning I had in mind,looking down I smiled at the sight of Oswalds peaceful sleeping expression,carefully I rolled him over onto the pillow,freezing when he made any signs of waking.

Once the coast was clear I got out of bed and slipped on my slippers before making my way to the front door,peeking through the peephole I held in a groan.

Pulling open the door I saw the biggest pain in the ass brother in the world standing in the hallway with his fist up,ready to knock again. “What do you want Jim?” He winced at my unfriendly tone,letting him know I was still very pissed off.

“Listen you can’t stay mad at me forever,We’re family (Y/n).” Crossing my arms I sighed,”Jim I love you,but I meant what I said. I can’t just forgive you,it’ll take a lot more than bothering me every day to earn that back. Oh and you’re shit at apologizing by the way.” He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back.”

Sighing heavily I rubbed my tired eyes,”Listen,I’m not gonna be able to trust you again so easily... but I can’t stay mad at you forever.” He held a sad smile,”I know,I promise I’ll make it up to you (N/n).”

The tiniest bit of a smile pulled at my lips,”Now get out of here,I have to get ready for work.” Which was a lie,I had the day off already but I knew if I let him in he would see Oswald. I had to protect the adorable shorter man,even if it was from my own brother.

We said our goodbyes and I quietly shut the door as he left,nearly jumping out of my skin when I turned to see Oswald standing in the doorway with what can only be the cutest bed head I’ve ever seen.

“Good morning,I hope I didn’t wake you up.” He looked up at me with half asleep eyes as I walked over and looked down at the shorter male.”You weren’t in bed so...” he muttered causing my heart to swell.

“Sorry,Jim stopped by again but he won’t be bothering us like this again. Let’s go back to bed.” I hummed.

He frowned as I said that,”You and Jim were fighting?”

Sighing I led him back to the bedroom,”I was so mad at him for killing...well almost killing you so I refused to talk to him,ignoring him ever since that day. But now that I know youre alive and safe here I decided I can at least talk to him,I still don’t trust him...not like I used to. Barbara is the only one I still talk to.”

His pale cheeks turned a slight shade of pink,”You really cared that much about me?” I smiled and wrapped him into a warm hug,”Of course I do Os,I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you never have to go through that again.” I cooed gently rubbing his back as he practically purred as he melted into my touch,this fact assured me that he was probably touch starved.

“Let’s go back to sleep,Hm?” He nodded,burrowing deeper into my chest seeking more of that Protective warmth that consumed him.

Leading him over to the bed I layer down and brought him down so that he was laying over me,I wrapped the blankets over us as he tucked his face into my neck,breathing in my scent.

I smelled of vanilla and cinnamon,a pleasant combination that soon lulled him to sleep.

Looking at the adorable and fragile men now snoring lightly in my embrace I felt something deep inside of me pull.

He had been through so much,and the more time I spent with him the more I began to realize that this trauma may stretch out to before the incident.

After all his limp was very noticeable and the wounds on his body were mixed between fresh and old.

A story for each little scar,Perhaps ones for another time.

I decided I’d have to talk to an old friend of mine to get me somewhere to hide Oswald,I couldn’t risk his safety with Jim and Harvey snooping around.

Grabbing my phone I pulled up my oldest and closest friend that I’ve had since before moving to Gotham.

The phone wrang for 3 seconds before answering,”Well Well Well,if it isn’t little miss ABC’s. I missed ya darling.” The familiar voice teased. “Hello Victor,I need a favor.” He chuckled at my greeting,the sound vibrating over the phone.

“Oh? Little miss goody two shoes needs a favor? Name it doll face.” I rolled my eyes and glanced down at Oswalds sleeping face,feeling a smile tug at my face.

“I need a safe place to hide someone very dear to me,somewhere my brother won’t think to look.” Victor hummed,”Who’s this very dear someone?”

Tightening my grip on the phone I hesitated,I knew I could trust Victor with every fiber of my being,though I didn’t know his current occupation.

He thought it would be the best way to keep me safe,his innocent little teacher.

“His name is Oswald Cobblepot,trust me I would be asking you if it wasn’t important. Please just let me hide him at your apartment until this all blows over.” He was silent for a moment before I heard him sigh.

“Fine but you owe me doll face.” He feigned annoyance but I knew he didn’t mean it. “Thank you Victor! I’ll even make you those muffins you like so much.” He ooed meaning he knew exactly which ones I was talking about. “For those muffins I’d do ya a thousand favors,Meet me at mine at 6pm. Later doll face.” I smiled,”See you then Vic.”

Hanging up I looked down at Oswald,Placing a gentle kiss on his temple he shuffled a bit. A lazy smile on his face as he moved in more,Hugging him close I shut my eyes.

I knew Oswald would be safe with Victor,and while I didn’t know anything about the underworld the two worked for I had a feeling I was about to find out real soon.

________________

Oswald looked out the window at the passing buildings,curiosity and worry building the further from my apartment we got.

“So where are we going? Not that I don’t enjoy a nice car ride.” He chuckled nervously ,he knew I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him but not knowing where he was going worried him.

He looked over to see me giving him a reassuring smile,”I can’t risk you staying at my apartment with Jim and Harvey sniffing around. I won’t let them hurt you again. So I called an old friend who has a room open,they won’t find you there.”

His eyes widened,I was willing to do so much if it meant keeping him safe?

A man I barely knew?

“Is he..trustworthy?” I nodded,”I trust him with my life,He works with charity’s in the city.” I honestly believed that,which is why Oswald relaxed a bit. “What’s his name? Maybe I know him?” He asked with a smile,which I returned. “Victor Zsasz,he’s like a brother to me. He was actually the one who got me my job at the elementary school.”

As I carried on with my story I completely missed the way Oswalds face dropped in horror. “V-Victor Zsasz..?” He stuttered.

“Mhm,he looks intimidating and he is sarcastic as hell,but he’s just a big teddy bear once you get to know him.” I giggled,knowing he would hate having been referred to as a big teddy bear.

“I-I see,and you say he works with charity’s?” Did I honestly not know that Victor was the most dangerous assassin in Gotham? Charity work is the farthest thing from his job.

“Yea,he works for Falcons Charity,they help the poor find jobs and housing,I’ve met mr.falcons a few times. He’s super nice and gentlemanly,I actually have a brunch meeting with him next week.”

Now he really was in shock,I was friends with the big dogs and didn’t even know it,he was actually impressed. But knowing how sweet and kind I was he wasn’t that surprised,he was just worried about what dangers I’d be dragged into.

_______________

Before he even realized it we had pulled up to a nice looking building on the other side of town,we pulled into an alley in the back and parked.Grabbing the container of muffins and my purse we slipped out into the quiet alley.

He followed as we walked to a back door,pulling out a key I unlocked it,revealing a hallway leading to stairs going down.

“Stay close,I don’t want you to get lost.” I didn’t have to tell him twice as he gripped onto my coat sleeve and limped practically glued to my side.

It took us about 2 minutes before we reached a door with two buff men that toward over us,Oswald coward behind me as I smiled at the two.

“Good afternoon Ivan,Luis!” They smiled back at me.

Ivan was a single 6’3 white Russian bodyguard with a heart of gold and heavy accent while Luis was a 6’1 Black man from England with the cutest wife and 6 year old daughter ,They were extremely protective and damn good at their jobs.

Luis gave me a toothy smile as he went to hug me,before stopping as he noticed Oswald hiding behind me,peeking over my shoulder.

He frowned,”Who is the pipsqueak?” He asked raised a brow,”Oh this is Oswald,Oswald say hi to Ivan and Luis.”

Ivan crossed his arms with a smirk,”Ahhh so this little man is the one who stole heart of Miss (Y/n).” His laugh was booming.

“Oh hush Ivan,I always knew she had a thing for the shorties eh?” Luis teased elbowing the other,my (s/c) face grew hot as I felt Oswald burry his face into my shoulder blade in embarrassment.

“Just for that you two aren’t getting muffins,I’ll give them all to Victor.” Their laughing stopped comically as their smiles fell,”You brought muffins! Oh darling I’m gonna marry you.” I laughed,”Don’t let Lillian hear that Luis.”

He rolled his eyes,”She already told me she’d be more than happy having you as a third so long as you do the cooking.”

Playfully punching his shoulder I reached back and took Oswalds hand,giving it a gentle squeeze. “Alright boys,we need to see Victor,I’ll give you your muffins later.”

They gave their goodbyes as I led Oswald inside,leading to a giant apartment,”So you seem friendly with everyone here.” I heard him say quietly,his pale cheeks still red.

“Igor and Ivan are like big brothers to me,seeing as though I come here more than my own apartment. We’ve just grown to have a strong bond over time.” He nodded but couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure and jealous,thoughts of self worth seemed to clog his brain until he felt me stop and place an arm around his shoulders bringing him closer.

“Victor,this is Oswald,Oswald this is Victor.” I stated looking at the hairless man who was pouring a few drinks.

“Ah Oswald Cobblepot,it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” Victor said with a dangerous glint in his eyes that told Oswald that the assassin knew exactly who he was as he stalked over,handing us both a glass that stunk of heavy liquor.

“L-Likewise Victor.” He gulped ,slowly inching in closer to my side. Victor smirked at him before giving me an easy smile,”So where’s my payment?” Oswald raised a brow,”Payment?”

Rolling my eyes I held out the container of muffins,”Here you go,remember to share them with Ivan and Luis.” He chuckled and took the container and peeled open the lid,talking a big whiff of the blueberry smell. “Mmmm,I missed your baked goods doll face.”

Giggling I smiled at the usually stoic man,”I know,Now promise you’ll keep your promise and protect Oswald. If my brother founds out he’s here-“ Victor waved me off.”Good ol’ Jimbo won’t find out honey,I promised you and I plan to keep that promise.” Sighing I let go of Oswald and hugged the taller man.

“I owe you one.” He chuckled and patted my back,But Oswald felt a shiver roll down his spine when Victors easy smile fell into a deadly scowl,there was no playfulness or humor in his eyes. But it was back to it’s happy smile as soon as I pulled away.

“Don’t worry about it,You know I’d do anything if it kept you safe and happy.Plus Oswald and I are going to become great friends... aren’t we Ossy?” Victor said as he walked over and wrapped an arm around oswalds tense shoulders.

Oswald gulped but looked over at me,seeing my caring eyes filled with worry he knew that Victor wouldn’t do anything that would risk upsetting me.

“Right.” He stated tightly,forcing a smile.

It seemed I noticed but as soon as I went to say something my phone began to wring,Pulling it out and looking at the screen. I could feel my chest tighten as I saw it was Jim,Sending them an apologetic look I walked away to answer.

Once I was out of earshot Victor kept a smile on his face as he leaned down to oswalds ear.

“If you break her heart I will make your life a living hell Penguin,There are far worse things than death.” Oswald gulped,muttering out,”Likewise,Assasin.” Causing Victor to smirk.

Rushing over I frowned,”That was Jim,He needs me to stop by the precinct.He needs help with that Bruce Wayne kid,he thinks having someone who works with kids will help.” They could see how this conflicted me.

“Don’t worry ‘bout a thing sweetheart,go do what you gotta do. Oswald and I will spend this time to get to know each other.” I smiled at Victor before going over to Oswald,Cupping his cheeks and whispering so only he can hear me.

“Are you going to be okay,if you don’t feel comfortable I can try to figure something else out?” Oswald melted into my touch,reaching up he took my hands,Never in his life had he felt so loved by anyone but his mother. The fact that I barely knew him and treated him with such kindness made his heart swell.

“I’ll be okay (Y/n),Just don’t forget about me okay?” My smile softened and I pulled him into a warm and safe hug,”I would never,my little Oswald.”

Usually he hated being called little,usually associating it with Painful memories,but when I said it it made him want to beg me to say it again and again.

His cheeks felt like they were on fire as I placed a kiss on his forehead before pulling away,Glancing at the two I pulled out my keys. “I’ll be back tomorrow after work,please call me if anything happens okay?” They both said their goodbyes as I walked out the way we came.

Victor waited until the door was shut and my footsteps had disappeared to let his smile fall,Sit down.” He commanded moving to a little couch and chair in the living room. Oswald reluctantly followed and did as told.

Victor glared at the fragile man,“We have a lot to discuss Traitor,beginning with what happened with Fish Mooney.”

Oswald glanced back at the door.

Praying that tomorrow would come already.

[yandere-romanticaa]

Bloop, blush, buttons, cuddly and cupcake?

bloop; spirit animal?

DON'T HAVE ONE, ACTUALLY

I remember taking this really well made quiz once and my result was an owl, which is actually really cool but I am nowhere near as smart like that so I'll go with a dog because CUDDLES (or a bunny? People tell me I eat like one LMAO)

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

My teddy bear, Teddy 🥺 Not a creative name ik, but idc!!! He's actually really old he was a gift to my oldest cousin, then to her brother, then to my own brother and then it was finally passed down to me. We had one more cousin after me but I'm greedy, Teddy is mine! I'm never giving him! Here's a picture of him 🤣

Those are actual baby clothes btw

buttons; do you have a nickname?

Not really tbh. Since I have a basic bitch name a lot of people just call me by my full name in order to not cause further confusion with the other Ana's in the room 🤣 Another Ana likes to call me Annie, but in my family my nickname is Cici. All of the female grandchildren are called Cici but I was always grandpa's favorite so I'm Cici™ 😘

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

I'm not too sure, it's hard to pick

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

BASIC BITCH ANSWER BUT ROSES, SORRY NOT SORRY

I still kept the roses that my friend gave me from my last birthday which was a little less than a year ago, I just can't throw them out, my heart hurts too much for even thinking of that

Roses may be my favorite but I have a weakness for fresh flowers in general so you can't really go wrong there no matter what kind it is

[hanafubukki]

Two Roads Part 1

📕Anon’s Notes: (This is a work of fiction, I do not own Bungo Stray dogs or any of the characters in the anime/ manga. However the OCs belong to me. This is my first attempt at a fan fic like this, I hope you enjoy. 📕)

Hana’s Notes: Hello! This is a story submitted by the 📕Anon on my blog ☺️☺️☺️💕💕💕 I hope you enjoy this story as much as I do 👏👏👏🌸🌸🌸🌸  (This is my first time dealing with posts/submissions this way, so I would love feedback to make sure I’m doing things the right way.)

Credit for the story and all in it goes to 📕Anon  

Two Roads Series:  Part 1 (Here),  Next Chapter

Chap 1: A Spark and a Dream

A train whistle could be heard signaling the last chance to hop on board the train as the security made one last check to make sure everyone was on. A boy smirked as he leaped on to it at the last possible moment with a girl in his arms as the train took off. He set her down, the girl wiped some sweat from her brow as her dark hair moved in the wind. 

“Nii-nii! That was incredibly dangerous! What if you missed and we fell on to the tracks or got caught by the guards!” Puffing her cheeks out as she gave him a scolding as her pink teddy bear backpack was set on the ground, holding the few possessions besides the clothes on their backs. 

Her name was Hana Goho (Flower, Karma effects or inevitable retribution), age 14 and the youngest of the Goho siblings. 

The boy fell back laughing as his blonde hair fell over his eyes, “Oh come on sis! You loved it when we did that when we were younger! What’s changed? Hmm?” He replied as he let the movement of the train calmed him down. His name was Hakai Goho (Destroying/ Ravage, Retribution), age 18 and the oldest of the Goho siblings. These two have been surviving on the streets for about four years and this was the fifth time they’ve had to flee a city for fear of punishment.

 Despite being the eldest…Hakai had a hard time keeping a low profile. They’ve been on their own ever since their parents perished in a fire. Instead of being separated by going to an orphanage Hakai made the decision to just run and never look back and Hana wouldn’t have it any other way. 

 They waited several minutes before opening the door and Hakai walked in first with his sister behind him gripping her back pack to her chest. She was always nervous when they had to move, worrying if their unimaginable luck would run out and they would be caught. 

Luckily no one seemed to pay attention since they opened the door to second class, they fit right in with their semi worn out attire. They both had clothes appropriate for the change in weather. Hakai wore a long white t shirt with a red hoodie, jeans and sneakers and Hana wore a long blue winter dress with black leggings and sneakers, she also was wearing white gloves due to her sensitivity of the cold. 

As they made their way through the train they found an unused room and went in there, Hakai quickly locked the door. “You ok? I didn’t rip your dress or anything right?” He asked as he sat down. 

Hana examined her dress and shook her head no, thankfully none do their clothes were ripped this time. “Ni-San….I- Can we take a break?” She asked as she dumped the contents of her back pack out.

 It contained a hair brush, sewing kit, hygiene kit with toothpaste, books on school subjects, hair ties for her, a black sharpie, two half eaten granola bars with a flower and a little flame marked on each one of the wrappers indicating who they belonged to/ not cause a mix up. 

 “Well ya, the train won’t arrive to the next city for hours. Get some rest! I’ll keep watch, if they come down here to check for tickets again I’ll distract them and you go hide.”

 “No, that’s not what I mean……I’m tired of moving…..can’t we find a home like we used to have before the accident?” Hakai frowned for a moment and pondered to how to respond. 

This was difficult, he knew they weren’t normal even for being runaways. “Hana, what we had- it’s all- what I mean is…..I don’t know. People like us can’t really do normal remember? Mom and dad could, but we can’t……besides I never finished high school. I can’t get a job to go buy a house.” He grabbed his half eaten granola bar, making a mental note to raid the kitchen on the train later so they can stock up.

Pressing her lips together, she looked back at the books. “I can! I can go to school and graduate. You’ve seen me study right? Maybe I can do it for the both of us.” 

 Folding the wrapping and putting back in the bag so they would leave no trace that they were here he smiled at her, “I know you can, but it isn’t easy. Besides if your in school who’s going to keep me out of trouble? Don’t look at me like that please? This isn’t permanent ok? This next city is bigger and better than the others, once we get enough money, we can make a little place of our own. You just need to be patient with me. Now, get some rest. I’ll wake you up later.” 

Taking off his sweatshirt and folding it into a pillow for Hana to sleep on. Hana yawed; she curled up on the bench with the sweatshirt and fell asleep on the other side of the room stilling thinking about how she could attend high school in the next city as her brother gazed out the window.

Hana’s Notes: I hope you enjoyed 📕Anon’s wonderful work 👏👏👏 It was so cute, and I might be biased but I just want to cuddle little Hana so much and give these two shelter and love 🥺🥺🥺🌻🌻

[thesoftboileddetectivepodcast]

S1E1: Birth Astride of a Grave

Trigger Warning: The Soft-Boiled Detective contains content that may be alarming or upsetting to some listeners. There are depictions of violence and murder, frank portrayals of sexuality, discussions of abuse and mental illness, and adult language. Episodes may contain sudden gunshot sounds. Whenever you're feeling ready and able, we hope you'll join us.

INT. UNALASKA, ALASKA – FLASHBACK

FX: Winds blow

HBD: (to himself) The year is 2404. The cold winter winds of Unalaska, Alaska blew against my face. I was headed to Mai City – M-A-I. Not my, M-Y. An important distinction. It’s the city of dreams. People confidently walk around every day, knowing they are safe. The police force is the best in the world. It protects us from the Triad, The Cartels, and the Britneys of the city.

ATLAND: (mockingly) HBD was narrating to himself again, despite all of the work we still had to do.

FX: Packing up a car

HBD: I’ll miss this. The snow, the people, the food.

ATLAND: Not me. I’m looking forward to a new dome. One that isn’t set to freezing cold.

HBD: I like the cold air. It’s cool.

ATLAND: You know, I’m proud of you for doing this. The world needs good cops.

HBD: I want to make a difference, Atland.

ATLAND: Looking forward to it. You’ll help get me off the hook if I get in trouble, right?

HBD: No.

FX: Both laugh

MUSIC TRANSITION

INT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM – FLASHBACK

FX: Crematorium ovens HUM

JIMMY THE CHAIR: What’s today’s date?

TIFFANY: It’s March 3rd.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Right. I’m still getting used to writing 2420 for the year. Boss wants me to keep a log of... my activities.

TIFFANY: Can you back up? You’re breathing down my neck.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Just get it over with. Crematoriums creep me out.

TIFFANY: It’ll be about 3 hours to cremate him, Johnny.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: It’s Jimmy, Jimmy the Chair. I don’t care how long it takes. I want ashes, ya hear? Any funny business and you’ll get one right between the eyes.

TIFFANY: (deep breath) Right.

FX: The slab rolls into the oven

FX: The over roars

INT. HBD'S OFFICE – FLASHBACK

HBD: (to himself) The year is 2420. This city is Mai City. It’s the city of dogs. And those dogs commit crimes in this city. People walk around in fear every day, looking for someone to save them. The police are just as corrupt. The Triad, The Cartels, and the Britneys of the city. I was in my office with Hans, my assistant and one of my oldest friends. He had known Atland and I since our high school days and now worked as my secretary.

HANS: HBD, we have a new case. I filed it as the Missing Teddy Bear.

HBD: A child’s lost toy?

HANS: Oh no! Teddy Bear is another word for Dio.

HBD: Dio?

HANS: Diophine! Mind-altering drugs!

HBD: Hm.

HANS: Also a wife wants you.

HBD: Huh?

HANS: To follow her husband!

HBD: Ah.

FX: Ringing sound

ROBOT VOICE: Delivery coming up.

FX: Dings. Doors swish open.

HANS: This package is addressed to you, HBD.

FX: HBD taking the package and unwrapping it

HBD: What is this?

HANS: It’s a new type of cremation box.

HBD: Hm. (to himself) I don’t know who could have sent me this. No one I know had died recently.

HANS: It should have a name on it.

HBD: (horrified) Oh my God.

HANS: What is it, HBD?

HBD: It says “Atland Rockford.”

HANS: …Atland is dead? It’s not… unexpected for him.

HBD: (to himself) Rage and grief bubbled up inside me. I would avenge my friend’s death. But first, I had to find out who was behind it.

MUSIC TRANSITION

EXT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM – DAY

HBD: (to himself) March 5th, 2420. I’ve arrived at the Ashes to Ashes Crematorium to find answers.…

FX: The front doors swish open

INT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM LOBBY – DAY

FX: Door shuts

HBD: (to himself) An ordinary crematorium lobby. Signs about federal law prohibiting burial. It’s a law that’s been on the books for over a hundred years. When we ran out of space for cemeteries, the government mandated all corpses be cremated.

FX: DIRGE, a hologram cat-like creature, materializes in front of HBD.

HBD: (to himself) A hologram of a cat-like creature appeared before me.

DIRGE: Hello! I am Dirge, this building’s secretary. Welcome to Ashes to Ashes Crematorium. May we cremate your dead today?

HBD: Not today. I’m looking for Tiffany Coffindaffer. Can you tell me where she is?

DIRGE: I’m afraid it is against protocol to release information about our employees.

HBD: (to himself) AI is notorious for being a stickler for the rules. I reached into my jacket to pull out my electronic badge. Dirge, the little cat-like hologram, blinks. He’s processing it.

DIRGE: Protocol override. She’s in the back with our ovens.

FX: Another door swishes open

INT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM – CONTINUOUS

FX: Crematorium ovens hum

HBD: Tiffany Coffindaffer?

TIFFANY: (gasps) Holy shhh...! You scared me!

HBD: I apologize. (to himself) Tiffany Coffindaffer. White female, approximately five foot nine. 25 to 30 years of age. Hazel eyes. Brunette. Her left arm is cybernetic – an old model.

TIFFANY: Did you just describe my appearance to yourself?

HBD: No?

TIFFANY: …Okay, whatever. Can I help you?

HBD: I have some questions for you.

TIFFANY: Are you one of the family members?

HBD: Hm?

TIFFANY: Of the guy I’m in the middle of burning. Like, right now. This guy right here.

HBD: No.

TIFFANY: His partner?

HBD: No.

TIFFANY: Then who the fuck are you?

HBD: The name’s HBD. Detective HBD.

TIFFANY: HBD? Like... Happy Birthday?

HBD: I hate birthdays. The children always mocked me. They’d always call me Happy Birthday.

TIFFANY: So it’s just HBD?

HBD: I’m looking for information on a recent death.

TIFFANY: (sighs) I just burn the bodies.

HBD: (to himself) I reached into my pocket.

TIFFANY: Yeah, I can see you doing that.…

HBD: (to himself) I pulled out a small cube, a newer model of urn, and placed it in front of her.

TIFFANY: I can –

HBD: (to himself) It had Atland Rockford’s name etched on the side. (to Tiffany) Atland Rockford. Do you recognize the name?

TIFFANY: How did you get that?

HBD: It was sent to my office.

TIFFANY: Why would it be sent to your office?

HBD: I don’t know yet. Unknown sender. Someone is sending me a message. I need your help decoding it.

TIFFANY: I can’t do anything to help.

HBD: This box came from this crematorium.

TIFFANY: And?

HBD: Who brought him in?

TIFFANY: That’s confidential. Only the family–

HBD: The family didn’t even know he was dead yet.

TIFFANY: (nervously) That’s news to me.

HBD: Who brought him in?

TIFFANY: You’re not a cop, you can’t interrogate me.

HBD: No, but if–

TIFFANY: Get out.

HBD: I’m a private detective investigating a murder. With your cooperation–

TIFFANY: Murder or not, it has nothing to do with me. The only crime committed in this crematorium is the crime against fashion you’re wearing.

HBD: (genuinely innocent) Is there a dress code in here?

TIFFANY: No, I was making fun of you.

HBD: (innocently) Why?

TIFFANY: Because... shut up and get out!

HBD: She injected fun into an otherwise bleak situation. It reminded me to laugh. (laughs) An admirable trait. And then I replied.... (to Tiffany) I agree that men’s fashion has always been behind women’s. By your appearance, you place a lot of importance on your looks.

TIFFANY: Is that a crime?

HBD: No. An observation. I have reason to believe Atland’s death is connected to the Triad.

TIFFANY: If you’re not a cop, then I have no legal obligation to talk to you.

FX: Dirge materializes between them

HBD: (to himself) Dirge had materialized before us.

TIFFANY: I can see–

DIRGE: According to the Victims Justice Act of 2410, Private Detectives may investigate without police approval in a murder case. Detective HBD has every right to question you.

HBD: In the name of good faith, I’ll speak with the police to get official permission. I’ll be back tomorrow, Ms. Coffindaffer. But I offer one piece of advice. If the Triad is blackmailing you, I’d recommend reaching out. I can help.

FX: HBD exits

TIFFANY: Dirge, close up shop. No more customers for today.

DIRGE: Yes, ma’am.

MUSIC TRANSITION

INT. HBD'S OFFICE – NIGHT

FX: Hans works on his computer

HBD: (to himself) Hans is a bit of a wirehead. He was tapping into Tiffany’s personal devices, including her wetware. Normally, I feel morally opposed to tapping into someone’s private thoughts like this, but it was important.

HANS: We should talk to her about having a WPN.

HBD: WPN?

HANS: Wetware Private Network. It gives your cybernetics privacy.

HBD: Ah.

HANS: Do you think Ms. Coffindaffer sent the box, HBD?

HBD: No, Hans. But she’s the only one who can place who was there the night that Atland was....

HANS: Creamy?

HBD: Cremated. He was dead when they brought him to her. She wasn’t going to ask questions.

HANS: You know Atland was so deep in all the killing and the banging.

HBD: Banging?

HANS: Yes, with the guns.

HBD: Shooting.

HANS: That’s what I said. Atland was in very deep trouble, HBD.

HBD: And he was our best friend, Hans. Agathokakological nature and all. I don’t give up on friends. My guess is Coffindaffer is being threatened or blackmailed.

HANS: What do you thinks she’d be blackmailed with?

HBD: Dirty laundry? Skeleton in the closet? She may have broken a law they could have her arrested for. I can’t imagine what law she would be breaking....

HANS: HBD! Her wetware turned up memories of a friendship with Francesca Du.

HBD: The daughter of the Tianlu’s Dragon Head.

TRANSITION MUSIC

INT. TIFFANY’S APARTMENT LIVING ROOM – NIGHT

FRANCESCA: He’s a private eye, Tiffany. Mama says they always sniff around and then give up.

TIFFANY: Easy for you to say. Francesca. You weren’t the one being questioned.

FRANCESCA: I’ve been questioned before. When your mother is the head of a Triad clan, they harass you all the time. But it’s going to be okay. You aren’t involved in anything, right?

TIFFANY: Of course not.

FRANCESCA: There you go then! It’s a murder investigation. It’s just protocol.

TIFFANY: Francesca, what would you be questioned about?

FRANCESCA: They think I know what the Tianlu is up to. Like she’d tell me anything. As if! I could see if Mama could help you out. She might be able to get this private eye off your back. It is a perk of being her daughter.

TIFFANY: I can handle it.

FRANCESCA: Okay. How about we order a pizza tonight and watch a flick? We haven’t had a girls night in forever.

TIFFANY: Yeah, okay.

FRANCESCA: I’ll find what to watch. I feel like an AR tonight, is that okay? Oh, you can get the pizza! Use your borg-phone! Your arm has one, right?

FX: A small compartment in Tiffany’s cybernetic arm clicks opens.

TIFFANY: Order from Antonio’s Pizza. Upsidedown bacon pizza. Deliver as soon as possible. Charge to my account.

BORG PHONE: Order placed.

FRANCESCA: Hey, I’m gonna go make us some drinks. Scotch Mist, like usual?

TIFFANY: Please.

FX: Footsteps

INT. TIFFANY'S APARTMENT KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

FRANCESCA: Fridge?

FX: The refrigerator clicks on

FRIDGE: Yes?

FRANCESCA: Make two drinks, please. Scotch Mist and Sanhuajiu. And call my mother, please.

FRIDGE: Affirmative.

FX: Fridge beeps and phone rings.

ERXIN DU: Hello?

FRANCESCA: Hello, Mama! I need you to help out a friend.…

TRANSITION MUSIC

INT. TIFFANY’S APARTMENT FOYER – LATER

FX: The doorbell rings twice

TIFFANY: That’ll be the pizza. I’ll get it.

FX: Door opens

TIFFANY: (gasps) ...Delivery bot...? What happened to you?

DELIVERY BOT: Attacked. Attacked. Not well.

TIFFANY: Who...?

DELIVERY BOT: A message. I have a message.

FX: Hologram fizzes

JIMMY THE CHAIR: It’s Jimmy! Jimmy the Chair. Listen good, Coffindaffer. Don’t say anything to the detective. If you talk, you’ll get the CHAIR. Get it? Because I’m the Chair and I’ll kill you. Jimmy the Chair OUT.

FX: Hologram turns off

TIFFANY: Why am I so threatened by an idiot?

FRANCESCA (O.S.): Hey, Tiff, is that the pizza?

TIFFANY: Huh? Yeah. Yeah, it’s the pizza.

DELIVERY BOT: Leave me here. I will... return to shop.

FX: The Delivery Bot DRAGS his broken body across the floor

INT. ERXIN DU’S OFFICE – NIGHT

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Madame Du, you sent for me?

ERXIN DU: I need you for an important case.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: (excited, touched) Oh wow, thank you, Madame Du! I’m honored you trust me so much to carry out your orders.

ERXIN DU: You’re the only one available.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Oh.

ERXIN DU: I want you to keep an eye on Coffindaffer. Francesca says the detective is asking questions.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Don’t worry, ma’am. I sent Coffindaffer a message.

ERXIN DU: I don’t want you to send her a message, you tortoise egg. I want you to worry about the detective.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Oh....

ERXIN DU: Pesci will help you watch over her.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Pesci the Hot Plate? I don’t know if that’s a good idea. He’s so… rash.

ERXIN DU: Are you questioning me?

JIMMY THE CHAIR: No, ma’am.

ERXIN DU: Go to the crematorium tomorrow.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: And if the detective’s there?

ERXIN DU: Kill him if you have to.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Yes, ma’am.

FX: Jimmy hastily exits

EXT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM - THE NEXT DAY

FX: Tiffany’s car HOVERS into the parking lot

FX: She turns OFF the car and walks to the building

TIFFANY: Really not looking forward to working today.

FX: Another car HOVERS in

TIFFANY: Sorry, we’re not open y.... Shit.

FX: The passenger side door swings open

FX: Pesci the Hot Plate stomps out.

TIFFANY: Shit!

PESCI: Watch yourself, Coffindaffer!

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Pesci, get back in the car!

FX: Tiffany hurries inside

PESCI: If you squeal, we’ll make you squeal! Like a pig!

JIMMY THE CHAIR: That didn’t sound as badass as you think it did.

FX: The doors shut behind Tiffany

PESCI: We’ll--

JIMMY THE CHAIR: She’s inside, Pesci. She can’t hear you.

FX: Pesci huffs

INT. ASHES TO ASHES CREMATORIUM SHAVING ROOM – DAY

FX: Door swishes shut

TIFFANY: Today can’t get any worse.

HBD: Ms. Coffindaffer.

TIFFANY: (startled gasp) What are you doing here?

DIRGE: I apologize, Ms. Coffindaffer. I allowed him inside.

TIFFANY: Were you programmed to let him in?

DIRGE: Yes.

TIFFANY: Oh.

HBD: I spoke to the police. (to himself) I placed a small chip on Dirge’s desk. It projects a document--

TIFFANY: I can see what it projects! So you have police permission. Good for you! I still don’t have any information.

HBD: When did you get the cybernetic arm put in?

TIFFANY: What does that have to do with anything?

HBD: It’s an old model.

TIFFANY: I get it. This is where you talk about how we’re both borged so you can bond with me. It won’t work.

HBD: I don’t have any cybernetic parts.

TIFFANY: You’re pure, huh? That’s a rarity these days. Why ask me about my arm?

HBD: I just want to understand who I’m talking to.

TIFFANY: Jesus, look. If you want to search the place, go ahead.

HBD: I just want a description of the person who brought Atland Rockford in.

TIFFANY: I don’t know!

HBD: You know something, but you’re scared to talk.

TIFFANY: What would I be scared of?

FX: The door swishes open again

TIFFANY: Oh for fuck’s sake!

HBD: (to himself) Pesci the Hot Plate! Known for catering Tianlu events, and his hot temper.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Damn it, Pesci!

HBD: Ah, Jimmy the Chair. I should have known you’d have your fingers in this pie.

TIFFANY: Ew.

PESCI: (to Tiffany) We told you not to squeal, Coffindaffer!

TIFFANY: I wasn’t, you idiot! You just told on yourselves.

FX: Pesci rushes toward HBD

HBD: (to himself) Pesci the Hot Plate rushed towards me.

FX: HBD steps out of the way

HBD: (to himself) I easily sidestepped him. I struck his nasal septum. 

FX: HBD strikes PESCI’s face 

 HBD: (to himself) Now that he’s out cold, I gently lowered him to the ground and made sure that–

TIFFANY: Why are you announcing your every move?!

HBD: I’m not?

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Damn it, Pesci!

FX: Gun shots

HBD: (to himself) Jimmy the Chair pulled his gun on us! We ducked behind a nearby counter. (to Tiffany) Stay down, Ms. Coffindaffer! (to himself) I pulled my own gun from my holster and....

FX: Gun whirls to life and blasts

HBD: (to himself) He dodged my shot! But he’s at a disadvantage...

FX: Dirge materializes

HBD: (to himself) Dirge materialized in the middle of the room. I peeked around the corner to see him....

DIRGE: I apologize for the interruption, but I have called the police. They shall arrive in under two minutes.

JIMMY THE CHAIR: Damn it!

FX: Jimmy dragging Pesci out

JIMMY THE CHAIR: I knew you’d fuck this up, Pesci!

FX: The door opens and shuts

TIFFANY: Thank God, he’s leaving.

HBD: We have to get you out of here before we have to deal with the police.

TIFFANY: Right.

HBD: Let’s use my bike.

TIFFANY: Um, let’s take my hover car instead.

HBD: Hm.

MUSIC TRANSITION

INT. TIFFANY’S CAR – LATER

FX: Car HOVERS through the city

TIFFANY: They’re going to kill me no matter what. Looks like you’ll be getting what you want. I’ll talk.

HBD: I promise to keep you safe.

TIFFANY: Right, whatever. Listen, I have one last thing I need to take care of.

HBD: Do you think it’s smart to--

TIFFANY: It’s something I have to do. And then I’ll come to your office.

HBD: Alright.

TIFFANY: What do I tell my boss?

HBD: I’ll speak with him. I told Dirge to have him call me. Disconnect your arm from the Internet.

TIFFANY: Already did. I’m not stupid.

HBD: (to himself) I could tell she was upset with me.

TIFFANY: Can you not narrate your every thought?

HBD: (to himself) I sat in shock as I discovered Tiffany could read my thoughts. I wondered how many others could do the same.

FX: Tiffany sighs

MUSIC TRANSITION

INT. HBD'S OFFICE – EVENING

FX: Hans works at his desk

HANS: HBD, I have searched police records for anything about Tiffany Coffindaffer.

HBD: Did you find anything?

HANS: Oh no, I have not. But I did get her a WPN to install.

HBD: What could the Tianlu have on her?

HANS: Why not ask her, hm?

HBD: She doesn’t trust me. Yet.

HANS: Ah yes, but she will!

HBD: We have to protect her, Hans. But I can’t imagine what secret a crematory operator would have that the Tianlu could exploit.

EXT. LARGE FIELD – NIGHT

FX: Crickets, nature

FX: Mother approaches Tiffany

MOTHER: Thank you, Ms. Coffindaffer. My son was adamant about having a proper burial. He never wanted cremation.

FX: Shovels digging

TIFFANY: No one has to know what we did here tonight. It’s just between your family and us.

MOTHER: You promise no one else knows about any of this?

TIFFANY: No one else knows. I promise.

KAT: This has been The Soft-Boiled Detective. 

Written, Directed, and Produced by Kat Walker Shea

Music Composed by Mike Formanski

Sound Design by Silentbyte Studio

Starring the voices of...

BK Dawson as HBD and Hans

Kat Walker Shea as Tiffany, Borg Phone, Fridge, and Grieving Mother

Nathan Woltering as Jimmy the Chair

Gondre Lewis as Pesci the Hot Plate

Socks Whitmore as Dirge and Robot Voice

Jade V Robinson as Francesca Du

Lucia Xu as Dragon Head Erxin Du

Tim Briggs as Atland Rockford

Adam Lloyd as Delivery Bot

Thank you for listening and stay tuned for the next episode!

[glassbxttless]

Hi! I know we all love Matt and Ben but yet again I'm pining for the oldest.

Any thots about Randy? I'd love to hear anything about him 🥺

Hi, sweetheart! I’d love to tell you my thots on Randy. (As Randy & Matt are my favorite Solo’s here lol). Below the cut for reasons involving a kink

Warnings: just a tiny bit of Hematolagnia (a blood fetish)

We’ve establish that Randy is a bit of a mama’s boy. But he’s also YOUR boy.

He’s literally such a domestic ass husband/partner and he fucking loves it. He digs going to sleep with you, waking up with you, doing the shopping with you. Anything.

He’s always so understanding when things are bad at work. He’ll sit and listen to you for hours and hours. All until you’re deflated and feeling better. Then he’ll hug you tightly and kiss you on the forehead.

Randy has never once in his life raised his voice at you like you’ve heard Matt do to his girlfriend. He may let his crazy side out at work, but at home he’s nothing but a big cuddly teddy bear. He prefers level headed conversations.

He’s always down to go panty/bra shopping with you if you ask. He just follows you around the store like a little puppy and holds your basket. And he even waits on the bench so patiently as you get fitted for a bra.

Randy loves to unwind with board games. And you two have made it sort of a tradition. Whether it’s just the two of you, or if you’re visiting Leia and Han. Every weekend, Randy gets to unwind with a game of Yahtzee or Trouble or Monopoly or something of that nature.

Randy also is okay with not having kids. He’s more of the cool uncle type. He can’t imagine having to take care of anything that requires more responsibility than his dog.

Mentioning that, Randy has a dog. She’s a Great Dane— her name is Lorelei.

I’m sure you’ve heard of Randy’s Hematolagnia. He’s never once forced it on you. And was totally chill if it was something you never wanted to try. He knows it can make people uncomfortable and he never wants you to feel uncomfortable during sex.

But you’re eager to try it for him and maybe you end up enjoying it for the aftercare.

Randy is always really careful with each cut he makes on your body. Nothing too deep, nothing that’ll scar. Just enough to bring droplets of thick red to the surface. And maybe he smears it into your skin. He loves looking at you like that.

And for aftercare, Randy always takes a really soft, warm, soapy washcloth and washes every stain of red from your skin. He places his special little white and red heart bandaids over each cut and kisses them better. He tells you how much he loves you. And maybe he brings you a breakfast bagel.