#my total tomorrow will be MUCH lower lol but the month is off to a good start!

[fullyvisible]

March Writing Goals

Happy March! Spring is coming, and we continue to write. My goal remains the same: write, at least a little bit, every day.

Let's go!

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

a/n: anon(s)! baby fic is here!! apologies for the wait but it’s long and i hope it’s worth it ☺️ honestly this fic feels like total chaos but i kind of love the vibes. not too much to say other than this was fun to write and i think we’re done on svechnikov baby birth fics lol

word count: 6.4k

tw: mentions of labor, brief innuendo, post partum anxiety (not diagnosed in fic)

summary: it’s time for baby svechnikov number four to make their entrance into the world and of course it’s chaos in the best possible way

“Mama!” Alina shrieks for your attention and your heart skips a beat at her volume, mild fight or flight kicking in before you catch sight of her in the doorway and see that she’s fine.

“Christ,” you mutter to yourself, heartbeat returning to normal. The baby gives a violent kick to your kidney and you wince. “Sorry, bub,” you pat the side of your stomach, “that hit of adrenaline couldn’t have been fun.”

Alina shouts for you again and you level her with a stern look, “hey, what did Mama tell you about shouting like that?”

You’re too pregnant to be gentle parenting, but if you don’t remind Alina about her indoor voice, she’ll just run rampant over the next few months while you’re completely distracted with the new baby. She shuffles her feet and pulls at the little ruffles on the sides of her bathing suit.

“No shoutin’ unless someone’s bleeding or really, really sick,” she sighs and when you nod, she perks up with a toothy little grin. “But I had to shout ‘cause Papa says your frone is ready!”

“My frone?” You repeat, brows scrunched together in confusion. You repeat the word a few times under your breath until it clicks. “Oh! My throne?”

Alina nods and does a little wiggle, bouncing on her feet. “Come on, mama! We wanna show you!” She’s definitely still shouting, but your middle daughter has never understood the concept of an inside voice.

You smile at her and laugh, “okay, mama’s coming, Alya. Remember I’m very slow.” You brace one hand at your lower back, the other hand rubbing at the side of your distended belly. As scary as it is, you’re glad that you’re being induced tomorrow - your entire body is sore and your back and hips are killing you from carrying around this giant Svechnikov baby. Your actual due date isn’t for another week, but since baby’s measuring so big, your ob/gyn made the call for a scheduled induction.

“Mama’s like a tuuuurtle,” she grins slyly, skipping back to the yard and leaving you shaking your head.

As soon as you get to the back door, you can feel the mid-August Raleigh heat and humidity, sweat already prickling at your hairline and armpits. You frown, already uncomfortable and not really in the mood to go outside. Leaving the air conditioning is going to be miserable, but the girls were begging you to join them and Andrei outside, so how could you resist. You scrape your hair back into a knot on top of your head, trying to keep as much of it off your neck as possible. Little pieces fall out anyway and curl with the humidity.

You wedge your feet into the pair of Adidas slides at the back door and step carefully over the lip onto the back patio. The heat hits instantly and you frown, cranky. The baby jabs an elbow into your side and you wince - there’s absolutely no room left in your stomach and every time the baby moves, you’re painfully reminded of that. You hadn’t even realized your stomach could stretch this much, but baby number four is testing the limits.

“Maaaaamaaaaa!” Alina and Kira shriek for you in stereo and you wave from the door, reluctant to go outside into the heat.

“Mama’s coming,” you call back, bracing a hand under the curve of your belly and waddling farther out onto the patio. The air feels like soup and you have no idea how Andrei and the girls are so energetic. Before you can make it a handful of feet, Andrei’s at your side, kissing your temple and wrapping an arm around your waist. “Hi,” you murmur.

“Hi,” he smiles down at you, looking a little tired. His face is bright pink too, which you had warned him would happen. “Off to your throne, solnyshka.”

You let him guide you over the grass, avoiding the lawn toys and stray Barbie dolls that litter the ground. You’re perfectly capable of walking on your own, but it’s nice to lean your weight against Andrei’s side and have him help you. “Did you reapply sunscreen?” You ask, knowing the answer. Besides his face, his shoulders, chest, and arms are all tinged pink too.

He wrinkles his face at you. “I think once? I’m fine,” he shrugs and stops in front of your throne.

It’s one of your beach chairs settled in front of the girls’ old baby pool, an umbrella stuck in the grass behind the chair.

You grin at Andrei as the girls sprint up and dance around you.

“Do you love it, Mom?” Evie bounces excitedly on her toes. “That way you can watch us play!”

“I love it!” You cup Evie’s cheek in one hand, ruffling Alina’s hair with the other. “This is the best throne ever, you guys are making me feel so special.”

“Only the best for our koroleva,” Andrei winks at you, hoisting Kira up onto his hip when she starts tugging at the hem of his swim trunks. She grins her little toddler grin at you and then whispers in Andrei’s ear, a chubby little hand splayed on his cheek. He nods seriously and says, “yes, Mama will watch you go down the slide.”

You laugh and lower yourself into the chair, your lower back popping and protesting. A little groan slips past your lips and all four of your watchdogs whip their heads in your direction. The girls have wide eyed looks on their faces and you offer up a comforting smile, “sorry, girls. Mama’s okay, remember it’s hard for me to sit so low.”

A brief bout of Braxton Hicks two weeks earlier had taken you by surprise and your startled yelp and the way you had doubled over from the shock had scared the girls a little, so they’re insanely keyed into any weird noise you make lately.

“Why don’t you get Mama’s drink?” Andrei sets Kira back on her feet and nudges the three of them off with his hands. After they skip off, Andrei helps you swing your legs up and over so your feet kick in the cool water in the baby pool.

You sigh happily, dropping your head back, “oh god, that feels good. It’s hotter than Satan’s ass crack out here.”

The baby kicks, the outline of a little foot visible through the taut skin on your stomach, as if agreeing with you.

Andrei scratches at his jaw, rasping his fingers through a couple of days’ worth of stubble. “It’s not so bad, when you have the girls spraying you with the hose every two minutes,” he laughs a little, squatting down next to you and shaking his head so stray droplets of water fly off of his hair. Your face crinkles up and you swat at him, giggling. He taps at the side of your stomach, hand warm against your skin. “The little one is behaving?”

“In the loosest sense of the word,” you sigh, shifting in the chair, trying to get comfortable. “I’m kind of ready to get my lung capacity back.”

His hands stroke over the swell of your stomach, the baby’s arms and legs following Andrei’s touch. You pluck at the white linen fabric of your dress where it’s stuck to your skin with sweat, regretting the choice of clothing. “Tell me when you want to go inside,” Andrei says. “Girls will be fine if you’re not watching the water war.”

You hum, swishing your feet in the water. “A little vitamin D is probably good for me,” your smirk matches Andrei’s when the double entendre is out in the air. It’s been a minute since you had Andrei inside of you, too uncomfortable for the exertion, and you miss having him that way. The horny days of your second trimester are long in the rearview mirror.

Before he can say anything, the girls come running from the house, ice rattling around in the Stanley that Evie’s got clutched in her arms. You grin at the sight - your oldest leading the charge with her younger sisters following dutifully behind. Evie unceremoniously drops the cup on your lap with a chirpy, “here, Mama! Daddy even added lemon for you.”

“Oh, my favorite,” you reach out to tug on one of Evie’s braided pigtails and she beams at you before dancing away, Alina hot on her heels. Kira presses her little body up against your thigh and looks at you with puppy eyes. “What’s the matter, Kiry?”

“I have?” She asks, pointing at your Stanley.

You nod and hold the cup out for her, straw pointed in her direction. She plants her hands on the metal and chews a little on the straw while she sucks back more water than you expected. Andrei laughs a little when she gulps down the water, releasing the straw with a heavy sigh and then runs off, shrieking for her sisters.

“Adding another one to this chaos is going to be wild,” he comments, leaning back and splashing his hand in the pool water, hitting your shins with little droplets.

“Poor number four is either going to be the loudest to be heard or the quietest with three big sisters talking for them,” you giggle, tracing your fingers over the engraved 37 on the Stanley - the WAG Christmas gift that keeps on giving. You get a particularly painful kick to the ribs and wince, muttering, “maybe that first option.”

“Dadddeeeeeee!” A trio of shrieks echo across the yard, the girls calling for Andrei to rejoin them. He stands up and presses a kiss to the crown of your head.

“Duty calls,” he gives you a little salute and jogs off, leaving you to enjoy the way his ass fills out his bathing suit. It’s a view that never gets old, but even better is watching Andrei chase the girls around and play with them, matching grins on all four of their faces. He chases them through the sprinklers - if those have been on all morning, your water bill is going to be through the roof - and lets them splash him, pretending to get scared. He watches while the two older girls clamber up the side of the small inflatable water slide you’d ordered back in June when it was obvious that the majority of the summer was going to be spent in Raleigh, with the girls running loose in the backyard.

Kira stays at the bottom, in the splash zone, shrieking happily when Evie and Alina zip down the slide and hit her with water.

It’s honestly the best thing you’ve ever bought - the Nečas kids have been over for play dates at least once a week to run wild in the water and you’ve had a ton of the other guys and their families over for barbecues and parties. Now, you’re just glad it’ll keep your girls occupied while you relax.

After you’ve been outside for an hour or so, you call them all back so you and Andrei can reapply sunscreen to the girls’ pink little faces and shoulders. Andrei gets his own healthy dose of sunscreen, even though it’s too late for him to avoid the sunburn on his face, chest, and shoulders. You make a mental note to throw a bottle of aloe into the fridge when you get inside.

“I hate this, Mama!” Alina whines, bouncing from foot to foot while you try to cover her face in Baby Coppertone. “It’s yucky and sticky and I don’t want it!”

“If you don’t let me reapply,” you huff, out of breath from trying to keep her still between your knees and your severely diminished lung capacity, “your skin is going to turn pink and hurt.”

“I want pink skiiiin!” Alina howls, dodging your sunscreen covered hands and running off, her face a little mask of white from the lotion you hadn’t been able to rub in properly. She disappears into the playhouse and you roll your eyes, giving up completely. You’re too exhausted to fight her and tomorrow’s sunburn will be a problem for the babysitting grandparents while you push out the bowling ball baby laying on your bladder.

Behind you, Andrei laughs and teases you, “just like her Mama, that one.”

“Absolutely not,” you grumble, holding out your hands to him so he can pull you to your feet. “I’m literally so quiet and agreeable.”

“Maybe when you’re sleeping,” Andrei scoffs, helping you step out of the pool. His palm finds the side of your stomach like a magnet, fingers spread over the swell protectively. “Otherwise, you’re stubborn like a bull.” He pauses, smirks. “And loud.”

“You’re terrible,” you mutter, waddling as fast as you can to the bathroom. “Bullying the woman who’s carrying your fourth giant baby.”

Andrei’s voice carries through the bathroom door as you shut it behind you, “this is only the second big baby! The other two were normal sized.”

Later, when it’s far past your bedtime and you still can’t sleep with excitement and nerves swirling low in your belly, you whisper into the dark of your bedroom, “Drei? Are you awake?”

It takes a second, but eventually he replies, “depends.”

“On what?” You reply quietly, shifting and bending your leg so you can open up your hip a little and relieve some of the uncomfortableness. Kira curls closer to you, one arm draped over your stomach, the thumb of her other hand wedged firmly in between her lips. She looks even more like a baby while she sleeps, long eyelashes fluttering against the tops of her cheeks, and you start to feel emotion clogging your throat. Her last night of being the family’s baby. You hadn’t had the heart to put her back in her own bed when she came wandering in a few hours ago.

“On what you need from me,” Andrei’s voice is clouded with sleep, but you see and feel him roll onto his side so he’s facing you.

You stick your tongue out at him lightly. “Last night as a family of five,” you murmur. “Any final guesses - fourth girl or first boy?”

“Girl,” Andrei replies on a yawn, reaching his hand out and over Kira to rub at your belly. “Belly looks the same as it did with all three, just bigger.”

He’s not wrong, but, “agreed. But only because I think my nose spread out again like with the girls.”

“You’re just as beautiful as always,” Andrei says.“Your nose looks the same too.”

You’re convinced he’s lying, but there’s no point in arguing now.

“Think we’ll see bub tomorrow or will it be a couple of days?” You yawn, exhausted but wired. You can’t decide if you have to pee or if it’s just the pressure of the baby.

“Tomorrow,” Andrei laughs a little, “if the kid knows what’s good for her.”

You yawn again and Andrei tells you to get some rest, “it’s going to be a busy few days, solnyshka.”

Somehow you manage to fall asleep and then it’s induction day, a hectic morning consisting of four grandparents showing up and three little girls bouncing around asking if their baby is coming yet. You’re overwhelmed by the time Andrei helps you into the passenger seat of the Navigator, kissing you gently.

“Calm, my love,” he murmurs against your lips, rubbing at your stomach. “We know what to do, right?”

You nod, “right.” Wrapping your fingers in the neck of his t-shirt, you tug Andrei back in for another kiss. “Let’s go have a baby!”

Twelve hours later, you’re dripping in sweat, contractions gripping your stomach every thirty seconds with regularity. Andrei’s eaten lunch, dinner, and then a second dinner around 8:30. You, on the other hand, are on your ninth cup of ice chips and are dying for something that will actually fill you up.

You hold out your hand for Andrei’s when another contraction starts and he lets you crunch his fingers together while you breathe through it. “More ice?” He asks, brushing frizzy, damp strands of hair off your forehead.

“No,” you huff, slumping back against the pillows. “I never want to see an ice chip again. The second this kid pops out, I need you to get me a party platter of sushi, I don’t care what time it is.”

Andrei laughs and promises that he’ll get you whatever you want.

After that, it’s a blur. The contractions are nonstop, your ob/gyn between your legs encouraging you to push, and Andrei’s arm braced around your upper back to give you some leverage.

“Okay, I see some hair,” your doctor says. “Big head, but one push and it should be out. Then we’ve got a baby!”

Andrei murmurs encouraging words in your ear that you barely hear over the rush of blood in your head and the guttural scream that forces out of your throat. You scream and cry and there’s pressure and then release as the baby slides out.

You’re allowed to slump back against the pillows, tears streaming down your face while you crane your neck to see the baby, “is the baby healthy? Is she okay?”

“He’s just perfect,” your doctor beams, holding the baby up. “It’s a boy, mom and dad!”

Her words sink in and you start sobbing - a little boy!

Your husband’s big hand is cradled over your head and the baby’s on your chest, bloody and scrunched up and crying. Your own hands automatically come up to cradle him, your lips pressing against the top of his head. “A boy! Oh my god, Drei, a little boy,” you sob to him, laughing into Andrei’s mouth when he kisses you.

“I’m so proud of you,” he says shakily, his cheeks wet. “A son. Solnyshka, thank you. He’s - thank you. Fuck, I love you so much.”

Andrei’s hand comes up to cover yours on the baby’s back and you’re jolted by how warm his hand is compared to yours, you’re shaking and freezing, but all you can focus on is how happy you are.

The baby’s cries taper off and he nuzzles against your chest, your heart melting at how perfect and adorable he is.

“He looks like the girls,” Andrei comments, unable to stop staring. His fingers stroke over the baby’s back, your own trembling with the adrenaline come down.

You laugh. “They all look like you, babe. My genes never stood a chance,” you can’t stop smiling, pressing your lips all over the baby’s head. He’s so warm against your chest.

You’re not sure how long you get to keep the baby on your chest, but the next thing you know, you’re in recovery, dozing while you watch Andrei hold his son. The baby is a big one, like you’d expected, weighing in at a sold nine pounds, eleven ounces. Your entire lower body is still throbbing with pain, but it’s all so worth it to see Andrei with the baby cradled in his arms.

“Four kids and I still can’t believe he’s real,” Andrei chuckles hoarsely, gazing down at the baby with shiny eyes.

“Oh, I can believe it,” you reply dryly, shifting with a wince. “I feel like we should’ve been more prepared with boy names.”

You’d run through the list of the few that you had liked, but none seem right. His middle name will be for Andrei, but the first name is stumping you both.

“We’ll figure it out,” Andrei looks up at you with a grin. “I love you so much, I said that, right?”

“Several times,” you hold out your arms and wiggle your fingers at him. “Give me back my baby, Drei.”

Andrei transfers the baby to you with the ease of a practiced parent, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. You’re both exhausted and it’s so early in the morning the sun isn’t even up yet. You’ll have to pass out soon, but right now you can’t get enough of the infant. He looks so much smaller when he was in Andrei’s arms. You trace over the slope of his nose with the tip of your index finger, seeing so much of the girls and Andrei in his features. “You sure you don’t want to name him after your dad?” You ask, double checking.

“No, no,” Andrei shakes his head. “Geno has that covered. Besides,” his lips twist up in an impish little smile, “Igor’s not my favorite name.”

You know he’s thinking about the Canes’ most recent loss to the Rangers in the second round of the playoffs. The Rangers getting swept in the ECF had been extremely satisfying in your house.

You giggle a little and watch as the baby yawns. He’s been quiet, sleeping on and off, so much more peaceful than his older sisters. “Okay, I get it. You know, my grandfather, his name was Demetrius. A few letter changes…Dimitri?”

Andrei’s knuckle brushes against the soft pudge of the baby’s cheeks and murmurs the name. “Dimitri,” it sounds so different, so much better in his accent, “Dimka.”

He yawns in your arms and it feels like something clicks into place in your chest. You nod at Andrei, “that’s it. That’s his name.”

“Dimitri Andreievich,” Andrei laughs as he says the name. “Big name for a little boy.”

“He’s almost ten pounds,” you scoff. “This is a gift from the Big Boy genes, oh husband of mine.”

He smirks at you, leaning in for a kiss and your poor battered vagina gives a weak throb of pain. It’s too soon for him to be this adorable.

After a solid three hours of sleep, broken up once so you can try feeding Dimitri, you start pestering Andrei for your sushi. It’s nearing eight in the morning on the nineteenth, making it nearly twenty-four hours since you had breakfast with the girls before coming to the hospital.

“What about anything else?” He frowns at you. “Sushi for breakfast is…” He trails off, wrinkling his face in disgust.

With the baby latched to a nipple, you pout at him. “Did I or did I not push your giant child out of my body?” You pause to inhale and then continue, “And! Since it was already this morning before someone thought to feed me, all I’ve eaten in twenty four hours is ice chips and a peanut butter sandwich. I am starving!”

Andrei laughs at you, but before he can answer, gets distracted by his phone vibrating in his pocket. It’s probably Elena, looking for an update since you hadn’t called anyone in the early hours after Dimitri had been born, exhausted and looking to soak in the time as a trio. You turn your attention to the baby while Andrei chats in Russian on the phone. He hangs up and sits down on the edge of the bed, wrapping his hand around your knee. “Mama says the girls are going wild, waiting to hear about their new baby,” he grins toothily. “Can sushi wait? I think maybe I’ll go get the girls to introduce them to their brother.”

“Natives are restless?” You ask, the guilt of being away from the girls, even for a day, even to literally give birth, starting to creep in. Tears well in your eyes and you don’t bother to do anything about it, knowing you’re going to be a weepy mess for the foreseeable future. “How do you feel about meeting the big sisters, D?”

Dimitri lets out a soft little baby squeak and you give Andrei a watery grin. “I think he likes that plan. Bring me my girls.”

In the time that Andrei’s gone, Dimitri naps in his little plastic bassinet and you get helped into the bathroom by your nurse, ready to sit with the girls as long as their attention spans can handle it. You brush your hair back into a neater braid and wash your face clean of sweat. By the time that Andrei texts that he’s parking, you feel a little more human.

You can hear little footsteps running down the hall and you rub a hand over Dimitri’s belly, “get ready for Hurricane Svechnikova, bub.”

“Mama!” Evie bursts through the door first, hair in two pigtails on the top of her head and a bright red tutu around her waist. You beam at the sight of her and open your arms.

“Hi, bunny,” you coo, emotions clogging up your throat. “Come give me a hug!”

She dances over to your side and clambers up on the bed, nearly smacking you in the face with a piece of construction paper and jostling you a little painfully. You wrap her up in a tight hug, inhaling her little-kid scent of markers and Johnson and Johnson shampoo. Over her shoulder, you see Alina skip into the room and you hold open one arm.

“My Alya,” you grin. “Come join Mama.”

She’s in a Canes giveaway t-shirt that you’d cut down so it wasn’t a literal dress on her and you briefly wonder how wild they were being if this is how they ended up dressed. Alina needs a little help getting up on the bed and as Evie is pulling at the back of her shirt, Andrei appears at the door, Kira on his hip and an exasperated frown on his face.

“Didn’t Papa tell you not to run?” He raises an eyebrow at the older girls cuddled against your sides.

“We missed Mama,” Evie replies, pouting. You smooth a hand over her hair and shake your head at Andrei. They don’t need a parenting moment right now. Kira wiggles in his arms and reaches for you until Andrei relents and settles her on your lap in a way that doesn’t cause you pain. None of the girls have even so much as looked at the baby, but you’re not rushing them, knowing it’s a big change for them.

Andrei settles on the little couch while the girls fill you in on all the fun they had with the grandparents yesterday. They make Andrei bring you the bag of pictures they drew for you and the baby and that seems to trigger them. “Oh! Wait, Mama,” Evie perks up and looks around, “where’s the baby?”

You laugh and point at the plastic bassinet, “your little brother is right there. Just waiting to meet you three.”

Like it was rehearsed, all three of them scramble to the side of the bed to get a good look at Dimitri.

“He’s a boy?” Alina asks, squinting down at him.

“We have a brother? Not a sister?” Evie carefully reaches a hand into the bassinet to touch one of Dimitri’s tiny feet. “I thought it was a sister.”

“Baby!” Kira pats the edge of the plastic. “Baby in Mama’s belly?”

You kiss the back of her head. “Yeah, this is the baby that was in Mama’s tummy. His name is Dimitri.”

Andrei comes over to lift Kira and Alina into his arms so they can get a better look at the baby. “It’s different, right, to have a brother?” He asks, looking at you softly. You know he wouldn’t have cared if the baby were a girl, but there’s something about men and their sons, and you’re beyond happy that you were able to give him that.

“He’s not going to do much for a while,” you say. “But when he gets moving, I bet you’re all going to have a lot of fun.”

“Mmm,” Evie hums thoughtfully. “Boys are kinda yucky.”

“I’m a boy!” Andrei gasps, mock offended. “Am I yucky?”

You shoot him a wicked smile over Evie’s head and mouth ‘filthy’ at him, surprised that you even have it in you to flirt with him. Andrei laughs, his eyes sparkling, and you both nearly miss it when Evie chirps, “yeah, ‘cause sometimes you’re smelly after hockey.”

You snort a laugh and then, sensing that he’s missing some kind of party, Dimitri stirs, making little noises and wiggling his arms and legs. The girls watch, fascinated, and you skirt around Evie so you can pick him up. You glance at the clock on the wall and it’s been close to two and a half hours since you fed him, so he’s probably hungry. He starts to fuss more and the girls look a little disgruntled by the noise, so before they start complaining, you pucker up and plant a smacking kiss to Evie’s cheek, making her giggle. “How about Papa brings you guys back home so you can play and don’t have to watch me change any stinky diapers? Then you can come back later with Nana and Pop and Babu and Dedu? You can introduce them all to your new brother,” you grin, adding more excitement and animation to your tone so they’ll get excited too.

“You’re sure?” Andrei asks, even as your two middle kids are fighting in his arms, chattering at each other over who touched who. He’d scooped them off the bed as soon as Alina started poking at Kira to see how close she could get the former baby of the family to the edge of the bed without pushing her off. The noise they’re making is starting to agitate Dimitri and you’re very sure. Andrei himself looks a little frazzled with the girls practically shrieking in his ears.

“Go ahead,” you widen your eyes at him. “We’ll, ah, we’ll do a little more sibling bonding later in the day. D and I aren’t going anywhere.”

Andrei looks conflicted about leaving you, but honestly, Alina and Kira’s fighting is starting to give you a little bit of a headache. Dimitri is fussing more and you don’t want to start feeding him with the girls in the room because that opens up all the “whys” and “what are you doings” that the girls are so prone to these days.

Evie’s tucked against your side, looking down at the baby. She sighs and looks up at Andrei, “he’s so loud. Let’s come back when he’s quiet.”

Andrei’s mouth tips up in a half smile and you manage a weak laugh, reflexively holding out a hand to guide Evie when she half rolls, half climbs off the bed and beelines for the door. She waves over her shoulder and chirps a blithe, “bye Mommy, bye baby brother.”

“I think she’s expecting you to follow her,” you say to Andrei, a little wide eyed at your oldest’s actions. Securing Dimitri in one arm, you wave the other at the door, “go, please! Before she gets kidnapped!”

“Right, yeah,” Andrei nods and bounces the girls in his arms, “say bye to Mama. We’ll see her later, okay?”

Taking a little break from fighting, Alina and Kira wave at you over Andrei’s shoulders, blowing kisses. You wave back and then practically deflate when the door shuts behind Andrei and you’re left alone with the now opening crying Dimitri. You sigh and get him adjusted on your breast, quieting him immediately. You rub tiredly at your eyes, frustrated and exhausted. Maybe you’d underestimated the chaos four kids are going to be.

Once Dimitri is finished eating, you call for a nurse to bring him back to the nursery so you can get some much needed sleep. “I always feel bad sending them to the nursery,” you confess to the nurse, Jenna. “It makes me feel like a bad mom.”

“Sweetheart,” she laughs warmly, “I saw that husband of yours head out of here with your little girls. Sleep as much as you can before going home to that chaos.”

“They’re usually much better behaved,” you say wryly. “New sibling apparently throws off the routine.”

She tucks Dimitri into a swaddle and says, “oh, they get used to it. You two are old pros at this, so I think you know what you’re doing.”

You smile warily at her, a nervous pit in your stomach that you hadn’t felt after any of the girls’ births. You’re not sure why you feel so unsettled now, raising a boy in the early infancy stage isn’t any different than raising daughters. When Jenna takes Dimitri back to the nursery, you slide down on the bed, pulling the blankets up to your chin and getting as comfortable as possible to take a nap. A few tears leak out of the corners of your eyes, dripping down your temples and into your hair and you take a deep breath. It catches in your throat a little and you hiccup, covering your eyes with a cold, shaky palm.

Somehow, you manage to nap on and off, dozing in that weird limbo where you can hear most of what’s happening around you, but time passes faster than you think. After what feels like two minutes, but is actually closer to two hours, you give up on the nap and find your phone in the mess on the bedside table. You busy yourself with responding to texts and scrolling through social media, zoning out to a video of a woman making homemade pop tarts when Andrei appears at the door.

“Delivery,” he announces, your head shooting up at the sound of his voice. In his hand is an obscenely large paper bag with the name of your favorite sushi place stamped on the side. He catches your gaze and shakes it enticingly. “Husband of the year, yes?”

“If there’s spicy tuna in there, I’ll get the trophy engraved now,” you tease, a small, but genuine smile on your face. Andrei kisses the corner of your mouth and sets the bag on the rolling table.

“Two spicy tuna and plenty of miso soup,” he promises, sitting down on the mattress and helping you unpack the plastic containers.

You rub your chopsticks together and ask, “how are the girls? Everything okay at home?”

Andrei’s in different clothes than when he left and he smells like soap and cologne, so you know he at least showered when he got home.

“They’re good, don’t worry about them,” he reassures you, passing over a container of seaweed salad. “Kir was down for a nap when I left and our moms were playing Barbies with the older two.”

You nod, poking at the seaweed with a lazy motion. Andrei’s gaze is steady on your bent head, you can feel his eyes studying you and so you eat a mouthful of the seaweed, chewing slowly. As hungry as you had been earlier, it’s hard to swallow now. Andrei’s knee bumps yours and you look up at him, worried brown eyes on yours.

“What’s going on, solnyshka? Are you okay?” He ducks his head so he can maintain eye contact. One of his hands comes up and cups your cheek. You lean into his touch and shrug.

“I’m okay,” you sigh. “Just…”

Andrei’s quiet while you try and find the words. You’re not even sure what you’re feeling, why you’re so overly emotional.

“I missed the girls,” you say quietly. “But, four kids? It just…this isn’t going to be easy at all, Drei. They all started chattering and Dimitri was crying and I just wanted to cry too.”

“He’s not even a day old,” Andrei says gently. “It’s okay you’re emotional. I’ll tell you a secret,” he laughs under his breath, “I cried in the car when I went to get the girls.”

“Yeah?” You raise an eyebrow, setting your chopsticks down. Andrei’s not usually one to admit to crying.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Probably more because we have a son, but still. I cried.” Andrei winks at you, smiling warmly.

A little laugh slips past your lips and you tug at the end of your braid. “I think I’ll be okay once I get into a routine. But I’m glad the moms are staying until the season starts, we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

Andrei scoffs and moves to sit next to you and wrap his arm around your shoulders so you can burrow against his side. “You’re the rock, koroleva. If anyone can handle me, four kids, and the hockey season, it’s you,” he praises you, mouth pressed against your temple. “Just tell me if you’re overwhelmed, okay? We figure it out as a team.”

You nod against his side, the knot in your chest loosening a bit. Your arm rests on his stomach and Andrei keeps you as close as possible, knowing you need the physical comfort right now. “We’re so done having kids, by the way,” you mutter into his shirt.

Andrei laughs and your whole body vibrates with the sound. He rubs his hand up and down your arm, teasing, “Dimka and I are still outnumbered.”

“Oh, that is not something I care about,” you laugh in response, snaking your hand out to pluck a piece of sushi out of its container. “We’re closed for business down there.” You pause and then continue, knowing Andrei will have a retort. “For baby making business. Other fun activities will be reevaluated at six weeks.”

Your husband gives you a mock little salute, amusement written plainly on his face. He picks up his own piece of sushi with his free hand, popping the piece in his mouth and chewing before he says, quietly and totally sincerely, “you’re the best mom the kids could’ve asked for, you know that, right?”

“You’re going to make me cry again, you big jerk,” you sniffle, pressing a hand to your mouth. “I just finished crying!”

“I’m sorry,” Andrei cuddles you closer. “Eat and rest, because the moms are not going to want to wait too much long to meet the little guy.”

You pull back a little so look up at Andrei’s face and he has a slightly dopey look in his eyes, a little upturn to his lips like he’s trying to fight off a smile. “You want to go get him, don’t you?” You ask, exhaling a little laugh through your nose.

Andrei nods eagerly, unable to hide his excitement. “Yeah,” he admits, “I know we should rest, but I really want to keep holding him.”

“Go get him,” you say, “I kind of want to get a hit of that newborn smell.”

“Weirdo,” Andrei captures your chin in his fingers and tilts your head up to kiss you sweetly.

You grin against his mouth, “your weirdo and mother to your weird children too.”

Andrei’s laugh follows him all the way out the door.

[n7punk]

2023 Writing Wrapped!

I think I forgot to do this last year but I was a little burnt out at the time. I had so much fun writing this year I wanted to do a little retrospective/celebration for it (which I encourage everyone to do! Even if you wrote just one fic, take a second to congratulation yourself for accomplishing it).

I wrote 34 fics and updated 118 times this year. Almost half of those were for the Children of the Crystal series (16 fics) but that series was so fun and clocks in at 121k so I'm totally okay with that. If anything, that's a bit of equalizing, because I know my fics are a lot longer on average than most people's since I write a lot of longer AUs (quick math off the top of my head is about half my fics are longer AUs) so now my words-per-fic average is probably a bit closer to usual lol. Actually that got me curious and my average is 20,176 which is honestly lower than I was expecting but still almost certainly higher than average since I've seen a lot of profiles without a single fic that long. Okay I'm a nerd and I did the math and it was only 21,041 before this year which is way more surprising since I really would have thought it was more.

Anyway, I posted 610k words this year between all my fics (though I wrote more in WIPs and upcoming projects). I had so much fun with a lot of the fics I did this year. Children of the Crystal is still a stand out for me, but I'm SO proud of 'the long way down' and I spent the first half of the year pretty feral for each idea as I tore through Hurricane Adora, As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You), Superzero, City of Angels, Trade Today For Tomorrow, and CotC of course. February through August I averaged 12 updates a month which is. insane. I updated daily for 12 days in a row in July/August for CotC, and I spent most of that fic series updating every other day.

A lot of that creative energy came from the health stuff that has been bogging me down for a few years (and especially last year) improving, and though I'm still dealing with that, I'm doing a lot better and it has really felt like rediscovering my creative passion. I had a span from like March-ish trhough August I called my "unhinged era" between how feral I was for my ideas, how much I was updating, and just how wild some of those ideas were lol. My slow down at the end of the year came from starting a new job that was very demanding and especially exhausting with my health issues, plus health issues for the rest of my family, but I've still been averaging updating once or twice a week since, so I'm happy with that given everything that has been going on.

Now let's get to the two big ones.

Writing streaks: Definitely not for everyone, but for me they're really motivating and 100% the reason I was able to keep up momentum these last three months with work. I wrote every single day this year. I still can't believe that. Sure, some days it was literally 50 words at the end of the day when I was exhausted, but I also had my highest single-word count day since I started recording them this year at 12,738 on July 18th when I was writing CotC. My previous record was 94 days in a row. 364 is a huge leap. I don't know where I'm going to go with my streak from here. On one hand, it was hugely motivating. On the other, you always want to be careful to prevent burnout. For now, allowing myself to count days where I barely do anything as long as I engage with my WIP seems like a good middle ground since it keeps me motivated and connected to what I'm writing while letting me mostly take time off. I'm exploring more creative hobbies like painting in my free time, though, and as long as I've created that day I don't necessarily feel the need to write, so we'll see if I reconsider my writing streak as a "creating" streak in the future, but for now I'm just going to see how long I can go.

And the final one... my stupid goal.

I can't remember if it was at the end of last year or the start of this one when an anon pointed out how much I had written and I realized I was something like .99% of all Catradora fics on AO3, but my ridiculous goal for this year was to get my fics to 1% of the entire Catradora tag. This goal... I half reached. It takes a bit of explaining.

First, when I first set that goal, I think needed to write twenty-something more fics to reach it. Obviously, I well exceeded that goal at 34 fics, but as I was writing, so was everyone else, so the number of fics I needed to write to reach 1% increased. In the sense of my original benchmark, I definitely passed my goal.

Second, as I write this, AO3 shows there are 11,632 Catradora fics. You can consider 1% of this to be either 116 or 117 depending on rounding. I have 117 She-ra fics, but one of those is a Glimbow fic with no mention of Catradora, so that takes me to 116. However, one of those 116 is tagged as Adora & Catra because it's the CotC fic from when they're small children and meeting for the first time. I consider it a Catradora fic, but it's not actually in the tag and thus doesn't contribute to it. As such, I've fallen short at 115/117, but I really do consider this goal complete for this year given that I passed the initial milestone, the rounding makes the final number debatably 116, and I do actually have 116 "Catradora-centric" fics. That said, I'm very aware those are technicalities and I have a special celebration planned for when I actually, officially become 1% of the tag, so look out for that :) It'll be a great way to celebrate the new year. I'm hoping/planning to do it in the next week or two.

The future: I'm ending this year and starting the next trying to clean up a bunch of WIPs since my fic folder is getting a little ridiculous with the (mostly Outside of the War) one-shots I've written one scene or just a description for, which feels like a really fitting way to end off the year, accomplishing my goals and making everything neat and tidy. I have like 7~ to work though, though my actual goal is maybe 4-5 since I don't want to "force" myself to work on an idea if I'm not feeling it at the second, but I also have a longer AU calling my name, and I don't want to ignore an idea interesting me either... so we'll see, but I'm excited for everything I'm working on right now, and that feels really good. I finished last year in kind of a rough place writing/creativity wise, and I'm finishing this year really excited for everything I did and everything upcoming, so that feels pretty great :)

Thank you to everyone who read and commented this year! I know I ran out of energy to keep up with comments a lot, but they really made me smile so much and I appreciate them so much. Some days they were the difference between the motivation to write 1000 words versus 50. Thanks for another great year!

[cbunny9]

Thursday (01.11.24)

(Day 32/Whaddup)

This blog has reminded me of why I’ve never had a blog; I just can’t prioritize it in my brain lol. And by the time I have a second my brain is totally dead. It’s not totally dead right now but it’s getting there.

However, the longer I let myself go saying, “I’ll do it tomorrow”, it will get harder and harder to actually bring myself to do it, so here we are. I really tried to make it a thing where I have my dinner mindfully with tumblr open to log my thoughts, but it just didn’t stick. I can’t decide if it was because mindful dinners (mindful meals in general tbh) are still so difficult, or if it’s just that “blogging” in general isn’t for me lmao.

Time is weird in program.

Like cognitively I know it’s only been a few weeks since I last posted here but my body truly feels like it’s been months lol. It sounds cliché and corny but I actually do feel like a different person. I finally kind of feel like a real adult now? Like I’d just been masquerading as one for a while, but now I’m caught up with all the years I lost being a parentified child. If that makes sense.

Tomorrow is my last day doing partial hospitalization before stepping down to intensive outpatient and going back to work :)

My treatment team and I agree that it’s probably time. Recently I’ve been feeling like meals in program and in my home have been “too easy”. I’ve learned so much about how to properly nourish myself and have started building a healthier relationship with food, eating, and my body. On the other hand, being outside of my house without food planned and/or packed is still extremely stressful for me. So yeah …. the things I need to work on are out in the real world. Stepping down to a lower level of care will allow me to work on them, and challenge myself in the ways I need to be challenged.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this yet, but my boyfriend has been so enthusiastic and supportive through this whole thing. He has expressed how happy for and proud of me he is, and the fact that we can actually enjoy food together has been so impactful to our relationship. Where it felt like maybe there was a slight disconnect before, we’re able to be more deeply present with each other than ever.

Okay, now my brain is starting to really turn off lol.

I’m so grateful to past Me for making this choice for herself. I’m also so proud of her.

I’m proud of myself.

Thank you to whoever is out there reading this. Please take care of yourself.

I’m sending all my peace & love.

x

[spectre-fivee]

Over the Moon: Obi Wan Kenobi x Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8081 (wtf this is so close to Anakin’s secret password or whatever, also WOW this is easily the longest piece I’ve ever written)

Warnings: HEAVY smut, both male and female receiving oral, unprotected sex, lots and lots of dirty talk, heavy use of the word ‘master’, dom/sub play, slight brat taming, praise and humiliation kink, edging, slight force play & restraint

A/N: Hey yalllll I’m back with another smut LMAO this is a prequel to let me take care of you, my first obi-wan smut :DD this is LONG asf and includes a small backstory but I promise the majority of it includes smut scenes lol. I hope you guys enjoy and I love your feedback!! much love <3

******************

You were over the moon when you found out that you would be accompanied by General Obi Wan Kenobi on your next business trip.

Literally. Quite literally, you were over the moon. You had just coincidentally flown over Centax-3 and were now in pursuit to Coruscant's surface in preparation for your oncoming journey, and you were so beyond excited that you found it hard to contain yourself around your personal guards. Just as you entered the planet’s atmosphere, you decided you had enough of the automated briefing and muted the transmitter on your arm. You were too focused on the fact that you were going to be alone with General Kenobi for an entire day.

Well, night really. You had managed to catch that part of the briefing.

You could watch it later. As you packed, perhaps. It was fine.

Feeling like a little girl as you basically pranced back to your quarters, you lugged a small bag out of your closet and began to fill it with necessities. 

Being a senator for so many years had forced you into countless situations with General Kenobi, but never such as this one. When you met the Jedi Knight in the beginning of your career, the two of you clicked almost instantly. Over time, your admiration of the man blossomed into something...different. 

Oftentimes the general would escort you from the Senate Chamber itself all the way to your office on the third floor. He had always been so well spoken and full to the brim with witty charm, enough to make you feel like a total schoolgirl when you locked yourself in your office, squealing and jumping up and down after your encounters with him. Sometimes, you would accompany Obi Wan on walks both inside and outside the building. One time, he was kind enough to show you the gardens outside the Jedi temple on Coruscant. Other times, you were simply by his side in the senate halls, holding your stomach as you just about died of laughter. It was all you could do to keep yourself from absolutely melting when he looked at you with those glittering blue eyes, his lips curved up into a smirk.

Butterflies swarmed in a vicious frenzy as you packed your bag, your cheeks so hot you thought you might explode just at the thought of General Kenobi. You looked up when you heard a soft knock at your door. “Come in,” You had said before a guard stepped inside and informed you that you were leaving earlier than the time scheduled. You nodded and rose to your feet swiftly with a polite smile.

“That’s alright, I’m already prepared.”

***************

The only thing you had forgotten was to finish watching the automated briefing. 

Which, arguably, should have been at the top of your list. But somehow it had just slipped from your mind. Now, you were positioned in between General Kenobi and his commander, CC-2224, but you knew him as Cody. The two men remained quiet and Obi Wan tapped through the data pad in his hand. When you glanced at Cody, you couldn’t tell what exactly he was looking at or if he even had his eyes open under his helmet, he was so quiet. Either way, you cast him a polite smile when you glanced his way.

You felt kind of awful, really. This was, on your part, a mission regarding humanitarian aid, and you were the Galactic Republic’s representative in this instance. You didn’t know anything about this planet you were traveling to, only its name - Lelroth. You didn’t know the people’s conditions nor how much territory the Separatists occupied, that is, unless the citizens had decided to stand their ground.

A clone trooper’s voice came over the intercom of the transporter. “We’ll be arriving shortly.”

You tried to peek at Obi Wan’s data pad in hopes of receiving any information. “Have you ever been to Lelroth?” You asked.

He glanced up at you. “No. Frankly, I have no idea what to expect.”

“Well, that makes two of us.” You muttered quietly. His eyebrows quirked up as he stared at you.

“What?” You asked.

“You...received the briefing, correct?” He asked, and immediately your palms began to sweat.

“Of course I received the briefing.” You responded a little too defensively. He gave you a small grin before looking back down at the tablet in his hands.

You glanced over at Cody nervously as if expecting a response. You felt stupid after your eyes fell onto his yellow helmet, hearing Obi Wan step away and enter the pilot’s cabin.

“You didn’t watch the briefing, did you?” Cody asked, his voice hushed and amused.

“No.” You said. “No, I did not.”

You heard his chuckle through the moderator in his helmet as heat rose to your cheeks. You couldn’t help but smile and punch him playfully, giggling slightly. He leaned closer and began to fill you in quietly, and all jokes fell aside when you learned of the planet’s condition.

Few months prior, Lelroth had fallen under separatist control after the population had been forced under Count Dooku’s submission. The Republic Senate had been receiving reports of just about anything you could think of to describe a humanitarian crisis. You stumbled into Cody a bit as the ship landed.

“We’re here.” The pilot announced as the hatch lowered with a loud, steaming noise.

You squinted as bright sunlight poured into the cabin, raising a hand up to block the sun as Obi Wan stepped out. Lelroth’s atmosphere was thick and humid as you followed him, listening to the dirt crumble beneath your feet as you stepped out. You gazed around the enclosing woods with a small smile, the saturation taking you by surprise after being stuck on Coruscant’s smoggy surface for so long. Though it was muggy, the air felt clean and fresh as you took in a deep breath. You swore you could almost taste the moisture on your tongue.

“Preferably tomorrow morning, yes. I’ll be contacting the council tonight and…” The general’s voice came in and out of earshot as you glanced over at the assault carrier you arrived on. You watched as the clones nodded swiftly at the Jedi’s words, saluting him one last time before the hatch closed and the ship descended through the trees. It was gone almost as quickly as it had arrived.

Obi Wan sighed and pulled the data pad back out of the abyss of his dark cloak before tapping at the screen again. “Let’s make this quick, shall we?” He murmured.

You laughed slightly. “Is my presence such a bother?” The tablet still held his attention as he flashed you a grin.

“Oh, yes. That’s definitely the reason.” He joked.

A sickening feeling started to grab at your stomach after hearing Cody describe the condition on Lelroth. You were unnerved, and regardless of the fact that you had a Jedi Knight as your company, you two were members of the Galactic Republic isolated on separatist territory.

“We should get going.” You murmured. “They’ll be expecting us soon.” you watched Obi Wan pull his large hood over his head as he murmured something under his breath, stepping forward and heading deep into the thick forest with you on his tail.

****************

The Lelrothians were a kind people. Their reaction to your arrival with the general was rather pleasant - they went so far as to throw a feast in you and the general’s honor. After meeting with the chief of the village you would reside in, you finally got a real understanding of the Lelrothians’ situation. You and Kenobi shared a grimaced glance as the chief went on to describe the state of his village alone.

He explained how a large percentage of the newfound members in his village were forced to flee the capital city after falling under a dark hand. You assumed the state of the capital was even worse than this small village as he reported substantial amounts of depleted resources. Running water had been cut off to many families and citizens could no longer supply food on their tables. The chief even mentioned the punishments some experienced for resisting - you weren’t surprised in the nearest after hearing tales of the wicked actions of General Grievous and his clanker army, but still...it was hard to hear.

“We were neutral ground,” You gazed over the chief’s descending head tails as he spoke. Dinek Kev was a twi’lek himself, his account thick and common amongst most of his species. When you glanced around the table, there had to be over fifteen different species in just the room alone. Sullustans, Ithorians, even a few Gungans and a Wookiee occupied a seat at the table. You smiled to yourself and returned your attention to the orange skin of Chief Dinek as he spoke.

“A peaceful people. Nearly everyone in this room is an immigrant or comes from one, somebody who was seeking peace. Other pacifist planets such as Mandalore seem to have been fine as they’ve remained neutral.”

“Believe me, Chief - Mandalore has been experiencing a great deal of their own internal conflict.” General Kenobi spoke.

“Forgive me, Jedi.” Dinek murmured quickly. “I’m just...desperate. I would have never taken the role of chief if it weren’t for Grievous and his army - I only want to protect my family and my home.”

You reached out and took Dinek’s hand, staring into his eyes sympathetically. “I’ll open it up for discussion in the senate as soon as I return to Coruscant. I promise you, Chief Dinek, we’re going to provide Lelroth with humanitarian aid and drive the separatists out of here.”

“I’ll speak with the council tonight.” The hood of Obi Wan’s cloak hung lazily around his neck as he murmured, stroking his beard in his typical fashion. His delicate blue eyes were glued onto his empty plate. Dinek squeezed your hand and began to thank the two of you profusely. You bit your lip, hesitant to discuss the requirements in order for any agreement to come through within the senate.

“Chief Dinek,” You started. “The villagers are going to have to learn to defend themselves.”

All you got from him in response was a simple blink,  a common reaction among those the Jedi come to aid. Most planets that fall under separatist control hold peaceful populations, those who don’t believe in waging war and therefore seeing no need for a military. You desperately wished it didn’t have to be this way. It was heartbreaking seeing simple, innocent lives dragged into the Clone Wars, and one day, you hoped that the galaxy would evolve into one where war could be completely evaded.

“Defend ourselves? You mean train us to fight?” Dinek asked.

“Yes.” You replied.

“That is why we’re here.” Obi Wan explained. The chief finally slid his hand from yours and seemed to recoil at the words spoken. “The Jedi can only aid so much, Chief. The Lelrothians need to learn to defend themselves in order to be sure of complete safety from the separatists.”

After a moment of watching the chief calculate in silence, he looked up at you two with an entirely different expression on his face. He glanced around the dim room and gazed over his people with a small smile curved upon his lips. His eyes darted to yours before Obi Wan’s as he spoke.

“You’re right. The Lelrothians are never going to evade this if we don’t take matters into our own hands.” You smiled at Dinek’s words.

“Good.” Obi Wan stroked his beard again.

“I’ll leave for Coruscant at dawn and begin discussion in the senate.” You announced.

“Yes, and that is when training will begin. Tonight I will get an idea of when reinforcements will arrive on Lelroth. We’ll have a very short timespan to train, I suspect.” The general uttered.

“General Kenobi and I will stay in contact and you’ll be the first to know the senate’s decision.” You concluded. Dinek took your hand again and smiled/ 

“Thank you. Thank you so much.” As he spoke, music began to sound from the instruments held by those up on a small, makeshift stage. The villagers began to cheer and rose to their feet, clapping along to the tune that billowed out from various horns. You grinned as the chief stood and joined his people, taking a woman’s hand delicately and spinning her in delight.

You looked over at Obi Wan with a smile. He looked up at you and met your gaze with the rise of an eyebrow. “What?” He asked.

“Wanna dance?” You giggled. He merely scoffed.

“That would seem a bit unprofessional.” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Oh, lighten up, General. They threw an entire feast in our honor, surely we can dance with them.” 

He smiled at you sarcastically. “I’ll pass.”

“C’mon. You know you want to.” You pressed, nudging him playfully.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He answered simply.

“Just relax. It’s not like you’ll get kicked out of the order or whatever. It’s just dancing!” He glanced up at you in his seat as you stood, grinning down at him.

“You can be very nagging, did you know that?” He asked. You offered your hand, the same stupid grin plastered onto your lips. He scoffed again and reluctantly took it, rising to his feet slowly.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” He muttered with a grin as you pulled him over to the crowd and were instantly submerged by cheers, laughter, and celebration, having the time of your life with Obi Wan at your side.

**********************

The celebration soon came to an end and after a brief escort from Chief Dinek and a few of his men, you and General Kenobi arrived at the motel you would come to stay at briefly. The neon lights of the vacancy sign cast a bleached hot pink color onto the gravel beneath your feet. It crunched and crumbled as you stepped, tuning out of Obi Wan and Dinek’s conversation as you were led into the cramped lobby.

The wallpaper was faded and chipping in the room surrounding the front desk. A small Sullustan woman sat in an organically shaped velvet chair with a book open in front of her. Dinek stepped forward and quickly informed her that you and Kenobi were the reinforcements sent from Coruscant. You listened as she told the chief that there was only one room available, in which you and Obi Wan shrugged off. She thanked the two of you, passed over the room key and sent you on your way. As you trudged up the wooden stairs that led to the second floor, you heard Obi Wan sigh.

“Tired from all that dancing, General?” You chuckled. “You sure know how to get down.”

“Yes, but you on the other hand…” He trailed off, and when you looked back at him with a dramatic expression on your face, he chuckled.

You smiled and swiped the key card through the slot outside the door. “Whatever.”

The two of you didn’t think much of the fact that there was only one room available. It didn’t matter to either of you, because all motel rooms generally contain two separate beds, right?

Wrong. Apparently, all hotel rooms except this one contained two separate beds. Your jaw wanted to hang open at the sight of it, really. Obi Wan froze in his tracks when he entered the compact room.

“Not even a sofa?” you commented. The door still hung open behind you when Obi Wan turned and met your gaze almost frantically.

“There has to be a mistake.” He said.

“She said this was the only room available. Dinek said this was the only lodge in the village.” You mumbled, finally shutting the door.

“Right, well.” The general uttered and stroked his beard once again, beginning to pace as he did so. “I guess I’ll sleep on the floor.”

You rolled your eyes. “Oh, don’t be ridiculous. I’ll sleep on the floor, you have to train in the morning.” You watched as he traveled over to the chairs seated at a tiny round table in front of the window. They were a brilliant orange in contrast to the faded, once flamboyant green walls.

“No. The chair will do.” He said as he sunk into the cushion. “See?” He planted his feet onto the stem of the table, pushing it back so it allowed him to stretch his ankles over the surface. You only stared at him with your eyebrows raised.

“It beats the floor.” Obi Wan shrugged. You shook your head, smiling as you sat on the edge of the bed. You were facing forward, looking at the painting that hung on the wall before you. The sheets on the mattress were an ugly plaid that was laced with oranges, reds, greens and browns. It was very dated, but at the same time it almost felt...homey.

“We’re adults, aren’t we?” You chuckled. “This is only a business trip, General. Stars, if we have to we can just build a pillow wall between the two of us.”

When you didn’t get an immediate response, you glanced over at him only to see the amused expression on his face. But it was the kind of amused look that nearly belittles you and makes you feel completely and utterly ridiculous.

“Yes, and a business trip it will remain.” He uttered. “I do hope you’re joking.”

Your cheeks grew hot in flustered embarrassment. “Uh - I mean, yeah. Totally kidding.” You darted your eyes to your feet and began to swing them back and forth childishly. You heard chuckling from the general’s end but didn’t dare look over at him. You didn’t need to, you already knew he was sitting back and staring at the data pad again.

Moments passed and you had nothing else better to do than sift through the dusty magazines that sat below the bedside table. The lamp atop the metal surface cast a warm, dim yellow light through the room. It made you feel almost cozy as you flipped through the old pages, reading the articles and gazing at some of the most beautiful alien models you had ever laid eyes on. “Wish they had a holonet in here.” You muttered, bored and wishing for some kind of noise instead of this awkward silence that hung in the air.

Time continued to drag on and it grew late enough for you to decide to head into the bathroom to change your clothes. You turned the handle and listened as the faucet began to run while staring at yourself in the mirror. The general seemed grumpy after your comment, and you weren’t sure why. It was easily played off as a joke, you thought...besides, you only wanted to save him from a little back pain and stiffness in the morning.

You were only trying to be polite. And, well...you were secretly hoping for a little more than that.

As you splashed warm water onto your face, you heard Obi Wan’s voice from the other side of the door and watched as his figure cast shadows across the tile you stood on. The automated voice of Master Yoda and Master Mace Windu echoed around the small room as the general began to discuss with the council.

When you stepped out of the bathroom and crawled under the covers, you tried your best not to eavesdrop on his conversation. You stared at the magazine in your lap blankly.

All he was doing was pacing, it was rather distracting. You wished this place had a radio or something, or that it was safe enough to take a short walk. The meeting between Obi Wan and the other Jedi Masters seemed to last eons as you found your eyelids growing heavy. You stared at the cover of the magazine, it showcased a twi’lek woman posing in front of a ship. You yawned, cast it aside and allowed sleep to take over completely.

******************

When you woke up, it was still dark outside. The lamp beside your bed had been shut off by Obi Wan, but the one hanging above the chair he sat in remained lit as he set down the data pad with a sigh. You weren’t sure what had woken you up, and as you gazed at the general while you laid on your side, you didn’t really care. 

You could tell he was weary as he blinked slowly and ran his fingers through his hair. Glancing away, you felt slightly creepy as you stared at him for so long. But, I mean, could you really blame yourself?

After moments of silence, Obi Wan was the one to break it. “My apologies. I didn’t realize that the meeting would take so long.” His voice was deep and a bit croaky as it came out.

“It’s okay.” Was all you said as he reached for the light above him.

“Get some sleep,” he murmured.

“Are you sure you don’t want to share the bed?” You made sure it was apparent that you were joking as you smiled and chuckled, gazing at him as you did so. He paused for a moment, staring at you before his lips curved up into a grin.

“I see that pillow wall is still up for discussion?” He teased, and you laughed again.

“C’mon, it won’t bite. Besides, I’m only trying to save you from a little back pain.”

“Senator, are you implying that I’m old?” He chuckled.

“No, but I do understand that the dancing was already a step over the line for you.” You giggled, smirking. “Hurry up with that decision making please, I’m tired.”

Obi Wan laughed slightly before reaching up and turning off the light. To your disappointment, he didn’t stand up from his chair. You sighed softly and shut your eyes, letting go of the situation as you focused on falling asleep again.

Just as your mind began to wander, you felt a weight sink into the mattress beside you. Your eyes flew open as Obi Wan climbed into bed next to you, only to stare at the complete darkness that surrounded.

You grinned. “Did you change your mind?”

He sighed as he settled in. You could feel him, mere inches away from you as he relaxed. “Don’t make me regret it, Senator.”

You chuckled as darker thoughts began to consume you, reminding yourself that this was a business trip - strictly business. You wondered if Obi Wan thought the same, but you shot that down with another reality check as well.

You wanted to say something, but you didn’t. You couldn’t. You were worried that Obi Wan was actually trying to sleep, and you didn’t want to disturb him, or worse - make things even more awkward like earlier. Now, more than ever, you knew you were never going to fall asleep with Obi Wan Kenobi lying next to you.

“Are you alright?”

“Hm?”

“I can practically feel how restless you are at the moment.” He murmured.

“Am I moving too much or is it your spooky voodoo magic?” You asked. He began to chuckle softly.

“Do you mean the Force?”

“Yeah, that.”

“It doesn’t take a Jedi to feel you staring at me.” The grin in his voice made you feel even more embarrassed as you rolled over onto your opposite side, your eyes squeezed shut.

Obi Wan hesitated for a moment before murmuring, “I never said stop, darling. I don’t mind.” His words ignited a spark that released trillions of butterflies swarming in your stomach, and you couldn’t stop the gigantic smile that was forming on your lips.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” As you responded, you felt the general’s weight shift behind you.

His voice came from above you now. “Oh, you didn’t hear me clearly?” You felt his hot breath against your ear as he spoke his next sentence. “I said, I don’t mind your staring. I just wish you would stare at me when I could see you doing it.” His mumbling spiraled into your ear and descended down your body, pausing right in between your legs. You crossed them tight in instinct, nearly gasping.

“I thought you said this trip was strictly business, General.” You breathed.

“Like you said, I already crossed the line when you forced me to dance.” He joked. “Besides, I think we’ve both waited long enough for this moment.” His voice was hushed and gravelly and Stars, sexy as it rumbled into your ear. You turned until you felt his lips were hovering over yours in the darkness, the mattress creaking as you did so.

“You didn’t seem to think that way earlier.” You mumbled, a fat smirk on your face as you teased him. He sunk himself closer to you and you swore you felt his lips brush against yours for a second.

“Nobody needs to know,” He whispered. A moment of silence passed before he dove his lips into yours, drawing out a small sound of surprise from you. You felt his forearm come down beside your head and he let out the tiniest of groans. You knew this was coming judging by your previous dialogue, but you were still in shock. For a moment, you seemed to be dead weight as Obi Wan crawled on top of you. The only thing that moved was your lips against his until realization finally kicked in.

It started with your hands, which rose up swiftly to grab the sides of his face. His beard felt scratchy beneath your fingers in the best way as you hooked your legs around his waist. You had always wanted to touch him like this, to feel and move with him as your mouths were connected and one was on top of the other. It was something you could only fantasize about for the longest time until you had to tell yourself it was never going to happen. But now, it was happening.

His lips were as soft and welcoming as the pillows beneath your head as he kissed you. It was deep and passionate and almost aggressive, and that alone confirmed to you that Kenobi wanted you just as much as you wanted him. 

Following your hands came your tongue as you pressed it between his lips gently, silently asking for entrance into the warm cave of his mouth. He granted permission and you felt his hand entangle in your hair when your tongues met. You sat up slightly, pushing yourself into him further as you dragged your teeth across the pink valley of his bottom lip. The grip nestled in your hair tightened in reaction and you giggled softly into him.

He tasted of fresh mint, and you found yourself wondering if he had brushed his teeth mere moments before this. He was dominating and absolutely thrilling as he rolled over, allowing you to straddle his waist and dip your chin down to his neck to leave a series of pecks down his flesh.

“Someone’s eager,” he commented, and in response you bit down slightly into his skin. He made a small startled noise in response before chuckling, abruptly flipping you onto your back. He left you breathless as his lips collided into yours again, and he groaned when you arched into him. His hands were absolutely everywhere. They ran from your jaw to your neck and then down to your forearms, back up to your shoulders and down to your breasts, down to your waist to grab at your hips...seemingly all at once.

He squeezed his fingers into the meat of your thighs and you groaned, raking your own through his hair. You felt like his touch was all you needed as your tongue slid against his. 

Darkness still engulfed the two of you. Obi Wan’s skin was on fire when he caressed you, the heat between your legs was set ablaze as he dipped his chin down, his lips traveling down your neck slowly. You wanted to see him, his face when he looked down at you, his blue eyes clouded with lust. You wanted to look into his eyes and absolutely moan his name, you wanted to -

Obi Wan’s lips left your skin just above the hem of your shirt. He paused for a moment, holding himself before you and panting. “What is it?” You asked.

“Take off your clothes.” He commanded. You felt him lean to the side and squinted when the lamp was switched on. You didn’t respond as your eyes adjusted to the light, you only peered at him rather dumbly. You watched when he dragged his tongue across his lower lip. His eyelids looked heavy when he stared down at you.

“Did I stutter?” He asked. Your heart picked up pace and you grinned when you grabbed the neckline of his robes and yanked him forward.

“Why don’t you take it off for me?” You mumbled, blinking innocently. You felt your wrists fly above your head, elbows bent slightly as they tied together under an invisible grasp. You were confused for a moment as the general began to run his hands underneath your shirt, caressing your sides and traveling over your breasts briefly. It took a moment before it finally dawned on you that he was using the Force as your restraint.

He slid the fabric up ever so slowly and stared at your stomach when it was slowly revealed. He continued, his big warm hands sliding up your skin and pausing just as your breasts were revealed. He murmured something inaudible before tightening his grip around your waist and pulling you down on the mattress so his lips were level with your nipples. You moaned quietly, biting your lip as he began to kiss them. Your cunt was throbbing at this point and the muscles in your arms grew tired from being in such an unfamiliar position. You shut your eyes, but all at once the sensation on your breasts was removed as Obi Wan straightened his posture and finished ripping off your shirt. It came over your head quickly and was tossed to the side as if it were nothing.

“Can I have my hands back?” You giggled, breathless as he gazed at you.

He left soft, sweet kisses on the inside of your arms, his eyes twinkling as he had you paralyzed by the Force. “Not yet.” He said, and you didn’t have time to read the expression on your face before his lips were on your breasts again. You pushed your hips up against his chest as he continued, whining as he bit down gently onto your nipples. His lips descended down the center of your stomach, leaving slow, wet kisses on your skin before pausing just above the waistline of your pants. His blue eyes finally blinked up at you, and he was smirking.

Your cunt was throbbing so damn hard you wondered if he could feel it at this point. “Please,” You breathed. “I want to touch you.”

“Not yet,” Obi Wan repeated before curling his fingertips around the hem of the fabric and dragging it down your thighs.

“This...isn’t fair.” You grunted as you tried to pull your wrists from their restraint. It was no use, it felt like your arms were paralyzed in this position. Your pajama pants were now being thrown to the side just as your shirt was, and the general was leaving small pecks up the length of your legs whilst holding strong eye contact.

“Please, general - “ your cunt felt like it was on fire when he lifted his chin to look at you.

“Did you...seriously just call me ‘general’ in this setting?” He paused, chuckling.

“Well, I - “ you were flustered and frustrated at this point. “I don’t know, what should I call you?!” You had snapped. He only grinned with a shrug before he continued, pulling at your skin with his teeth. 

He dug his fingers into your sides, and in between slow kisses, he said, “Doesn’t matter...whatever feels...most...comfortable.”

You thought about it for a moment. Yeah, you supposed referring to him as General Kenobi was a bit strange as he was actively stripping you of your clothing. But it still didn’t feel right calling him Obi Wan, either. You weren’t sure why.

Your wrists were finally released as his lips reached the corner of your inner thigh just below your flaming heat. Your panties still hugged your hips when Kenobi glanced up at you, seeming like he had forgotten to hold your arms in place.

Without giving him any chance of reaction, you slid out from under him and pounced on him like a fucking animal. You giggled and he shared your smile as you sat on him and began to rid him of his robes.

Once they were off and you finally got to shower every possible centimeter of his skin with kisses, but he was quick to flip you back over so you were trapped beneath him again. You struggled to get atop of him with a grunt, but it was useless. He was already pinning your wrists to the sheets again and barricading you with his own weight. 

“Behave.” Again, his voice rumbled right into your ear, hot and thick as he nipped at your earlobe. In response you arched your back into him and whined, digging your fingernails into his back.

“Let me touch you - “ you grunted. “I want to...to make you feel good. I can make you feel so good, Master.” You moaned, letting the words fall from your mouth without even a second thought. In an instant, his fingers were around your chin and you were being forced to look into his pretty eyes.

“What did you call me?” He asked.

You giggled. “You heard me.” 

A minute went by before he moved his hand from your chin downwards, slowly tightening around your neck. “Say it again.” You smiled and tilted your head back, shutting your eyes and moaning the word again.

“Master.”

He let out a sound similar to a growl before he rolled over, positioning yourself on top of his lap. You could feel his large erection beneath you, and it was in the perfect spot as you rolled your hips forward and crouched down, allowing your lips to meet his.

He kissed you aggressively, placed one hand on the back of your head and forced you into him while the other snaked underneath the fabric of your panties, finding your clit almost instantly. You whimpered against his lips and continued to grind against his cock before using your own hands to remove yourself from the barricading fabric. 

You were so desperate to feel him inside of you. He grabbed your chin again and forced your lips to part, staring at you with dark eyes and a wicked grin as he pressed the pad of his thumb to your lower lip. “So desperate for it, aren’t you?” He mumbled. 

You huffed and tossed your underwear to the side before pressing your lips against his ear and murmuring, “Can you feel how wet I am for you, Master?”

He grunted and moved his hands to your hips, forcing them down onto his cock. You rocked them forward, letting the tip slide over your clit and through your slick folds with a moan. Fuck, this felt good. You lapped at his earlobe and giggled before continuing. “Just imagine how good it’ll feel when you put it in, so warm and wet and tight - “

“You’ll want to shut that pretty little mouth before I put it to work.” He growled, and a wild grin spread over your face before you positioned him below your entrance. 

You took him in slowly with a long moan and straightened you back, your breasts high and prominent for him to see. “Fuck,” you moaned. Your eyebrows furrowed as he filled you up.

Obi Wan grunted. “Stars, can’t you go any quicker?” He was frustrated as you giggled again.

“I think this feels fucking good.” You moaned again. “Your cock is so - “ you were cut off by his hand on your throat, forcing him down to his own face. He didn’t say anything, just silently forced your lips against his. It made you lose control of your pace, plunging down onto his entire length at once, drawing moans from both of you as you kissed.

“That’s better.” He mumbled against you. “Now do it again.”

You brought your hips up once more and slithered your tongue into his mouth, allowing them to fall back down, your cunt swallowing him whole in one stroke. Just as you started to kiss his neck again, you were flipped onto your back for what felt like the thousandth time.

“Would you just let me - “ The familiar grip on your chin cut you off, and your eyes were forced into his. With his other hand, he brought your knees to your chest and positioned himself at your entrance. He absolutely rammed himself inside of you without any issues, and your eyes widened when you gasped. 

“I thought...I told you...to behave.” Obi Wan grunted in between his thrusts. Your fingers found their grip in the sheets beside you. Your back arched and you moaned while he pumped himself in and out of your wet cunt.

“If this is what I get for misbehaving…” you panted, tears pricking at your eyes from them being shut so tight. “...then I guess I’ll have to do it more often.”

General Kenobi let out a low groan as he continued thrusting into you, remaining his quick, hard rhythm. Your eyes met his as the two of you moaned, and his hand found its way back into the roots of your hair as he muttered, “Say it.”

“Master,” you mewled as he tugged on your hair, his cock hitting the perfect spot as he thrusted into you. “Master, your cock feels so good - “ his thumb was on your lip again when he interrupted you.

“Such filthy words coming from this pretty little face,” he murmured. “You like being dirty, don’t you? You enjoy being choked when you misbehave, hmm?”

You didn’t respond, your eyebrows only curved up when you moaned. His hips rolled forward and his cock was still sliding in and out of your folds. “Answer me,” he demanded.

“Yes,” you breathed. “Yes, Master.” Your hand released its grip on the sheets and traveled down in between your legs to gently play with your clit, but Obi Wan stopped you, removing your wrist sharply.

“If you want it, beg for it.” He said slowly.

“Fuck,” you gasped. “Please play with it - Master, please just touch my clit and…” you trailed off with whine as you felt his thumb slowly circling around it, agonizingly slow and so, so hot. You whimpered and rolled your head back into the pillow, tangling your hair against the cotton.

“Does that feel good, darling? Tell me how it feels.”

“Yes, fuck, it feels so good,” You panted, your eyes squeezing shut again. “It feels so fucking good, I might...I might cum,” you continued in between whimpers and moans. “Master - please let me cum.”

“Good girl.” He rasped before removing his thumb completely. You let out a sob as he pulled his length out from you, watching as he began to stroke himself when he lowered his head between your legs. “Such a good girl, asking for my permission.” He murmured before sliding his tongue up your heat ever so slowly, stopping at your clit to circle around it.

You whined, bucking your hips against him, grinding on his face as you babbled. “Fuck...this feels so good, your tongue, shit, I want your cock again - “

“You’ll have to wait for it,” he mumbled against you. Whining, you sat up and propped yourself on your elbows as you panted. You were a mess, and you continued to plead with him until he had enough of it and grabbed you by your shoulders. He forced you onto the floor, sitting on your knees as he sat on the mattress in front of you.

“If you won’t shut your mouth, I’ll just have to do it for you.” He muttered before pushing your head down onto his large cock. You let out a satisfied moan and made sure he was staring at you, remaining eye contact. You lifted a hand to stroke the base as your tongue swirled slowly around the tip, bobbing your head back and forth steadily.

Obi Wan moaned and shut his eyes. “Stars.” He murmured.

You released the tip with an audible pop, allowing a string of drool to fall from the edge of your lower lip. “It feels good, doesn’t it Master?” You planted your tongue to the base of his shaft and slooooowly dragged it up prior to rolling it over the tip and taking him into your mouth again. His breath hitched in his throat.

“You’re so filthy, do you know that? You’re so...good at this, you must have...had - practice...Stars, pretty girl...how are you so good at this?” He mumbled, grunting and moaning between the words that spilled from his mouth.

Again, his shaft left your mouth and you spit on your palm before using it to stroke him up and down. You blinked at him all innocent and doe-like. “I like it when you talk to me like that. Will you cum on my face, Master?”

Obi Wan blinked and grunted, thrusting his hips up into your palm. “You’re obscene.”

“But you like it, don’t you?” You planted a kiss on his tip before gliding your hands along his thighs and rising to your feet. You leaned forward and lifted his chin using your index and middle finger, smiling. “You like seeing me like this. You like making me your dirty little slut, don’t you, Master?” You blinked again and smiled sweetly before swinging your leg around his lap, straddling him.

He was absolutely mesmerized. “Don’t give me that look.”

You did it again, smiled softly. “Or what?” You challenged.

Just as your cunt was about to swallow his length again, you were thrown onto your back strongly and the general’s hand was once again tightened around your neck. His lips were on your ear and his fingers were dancing around your clit as he rammed himself inside of you. Your eyes filled with tears when you cried out, savoring the sudden sensations engulfing you. You moaned, feeling your voice vibrate against his hand.

“I like punishing you, you know.” His voice was low, and you moaned as he licked your ear. “You’re such a good girl when you want to be.”

“This isn’t...much of a punishment.” You grunted. He bit down onto your earlobe and you whimpered.

“Oh, we haven’t gotten to that part yet.” He rasped into your ear. His pace quickened and his fingers felt glorious against your clit. Your movements synced with his perfectly. You could feel yourself quickly approaching your climax as he kissed the skin on your neck, hitting all the perfect places when he pumped into you. It was as if he knew exactly what you wanted and how you wanted it.

You felt yourself caving in and desire dripped from your tongue as you moaned, “I’m gonna cum.” Just as the words fell, everything stopped. Obi Wan’s fingers and his cock left your cunt all at once, and you let out a cry just before his eyes met yours.

“Like I said before,” his lips brushed against your own as he purred into your mouth. “We hadn’t gotten there yet.”

You already had come down almost completely from your previous euphoric state when his fingers glided inside of you. You writhed and moaned under his touch and Stars, this man sure knew who to put his hands to work. When he lowered his lips back down to your clit, you thought you would just about lose your mind. “Fuck.” You moaned. “Please, Master. Let me finish.” You pleaded.

“Quiet.” He muttered before continuing. You obeyed and only continued to moan under his force, biting your lip and rocking your hips against his face as he pleasured you. His free hand slithered up your body and intertwined his fingers with your own as he worked in between your legs. You squeezed his hand so hard that you thought it would just about snap off. Obi Wan finally paused, blinking up at you from in between your legs.

“Are you going to behave now, darling?” He asked, still slowly working his fingers in and out of your cunt as he spoke. You nodded quickly.

“Say it.”

“Y-yes. I’m going to behave, I-I’ll be a good girl for you.” You said then added, “Master.” The general chuckled before instructing you to get on your elbows and knees, to which you obliged and rested your front end onto a cushy pillow. You arched your back, ass raised, and giggled when you received a slap on your ass before Kenobi positioned himself.

He grabbed at and pulled your hair, raising your head so you could see him out of the corner of your eye. He planted a kiss onto your temple before murmuring, 

“Pretty, pretty girl.”

Then, he rammed into you so hard and unexpectedly that you gasp and cry out his name. He clearly doesn’t catch it, and you shut your eyes as a single tear falls, continuing to cry out and whimper beneath him. Fuck, it’s amazing, and it’s everything you had ever fantasized it would be. You swear you see stars as he continues, pumping in and out of you again, again, and again...this position seems so much better than before, you thought. His grip is so tight on your hips that you think it may leave bruises, but hell, you love it. You want him to leave marks on you.

You think of all the times before that were filled with nothing but harmless flirting and charm. Now, everything will be different. You giggled at the thought of changing in the morning and seeing the bruises he left on your skin. You could feel yourself approaching your climax just at the thought of knowing that in this moment, you were his.

You almost didn’t want it to end, but you were so desperate to finish after having it ripped from you at the very edge. You were sweating, panting, and groaning the word “Master,” over and over again. “I’m gonna cum,” you said heavily.

“Go ahead.” Obi Wan seemed to gasp. Another tear fell down your cheek and you cried out louder than ever before as you crashed down onto him, all around him, everywhere. Absolutely fucking everywhere, and if it weren’t for the Jedi’s weight holding you up, you would’ve collapsed down into the mattress already. It hit like a fucking train wreck, and he remained his steady pace as your walls closed in onto his cock. You assumed he could feel your shaking, and when your breath heaved in and out of your lungs as you slumped against the pillow beneath you, you smiled a lazy smile.

The sound of Obi Wan Kenobi grunting and letting out a long, high-pitched moan as he came undone inside of you was just about the sexiest thing in the entire galaxy. He collided into the bed beside you, panting as he stared at the ceiling. You finally allowed your hips to fall and rested on your stomach, you head turned to face him. Beads of sweat rolled across his skin when he looked at you, and your thighs still quivered against the sheets.

He dragged two of his fingers softly underneath your chin. “Beautiful,” was all he could make out as he huffed beside you. You shut your eyes, that lazy smile still plastered to your face.

“Do you...think anybody heard us?” You asked, opening your eyes again. You gazed over his beard and his strong features as he peered at you.

“Oh, without a doubt.” He began to chuckle.

“Whoops.” You giggled. He rolled over and pressed his lips to yours briefly before responding.

“If I’m being honest, I really couldn’t care any less.” His voice was husky when he smiled as you pulled him back down, kissing him again and again until you fell asleep in your blissful state.

****************

Tags: @ifvckedurmom @thingsistan​ @lizajane3​ 

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[waywardimpalawriter]

Hi love! Can I get Smut prompt 126 with Bucky Barnes? I love James 🥵

Well hello doll, wow I’m very honored to have you send in this prompt and a little nervous lol. I agree with ya there James is so yummy and fun to write for to. I hope you like it hun.

Smut prompt #126 “You don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily.” (In bold)

NSFW +18 no minor’s please

Warnings = smut, unprotected sex (wrap if your gonna tap)

James, “Bucky” Barnes x Plus size reader

Okay so this got a way from me and is longer than I intended it to be lol (sorry, not sorry)

Smut Prompt list here

Three months that’s how long you’ve been dating, you haven’t pushed to much. Knowing this whole relationship thing hasn’t come back to him yet. Uncertain how to brooch the subject without it becoming weird. You didn’t want to scare him off that should’ve already happened given the fact that your not a size two. But Bucky chose you over everyone else he could’ve dated. Treating you like a china doll, gentle, fragile four words that make you growl low. Spitting curses under your breath while heading back to your apartment. Having seen the smirk on Nat’s face knowing better than to have spoken to her about the problem. Only getting a smile ‘Talk to him Y/N’ making you roll your eyes and stock out.

Nearing your door, placing a hand on the cool wood body thumping with need from watching Bucky and Steve work out. The play of muscles on that man’s back, his delicious arm flexing and the veins in his human arm Gods don’t even get you started. Seeing the way his black t-shirt clung to his form, ass hugging sweat pants that had you rolling. You wanted to jump his bones right then but turned and left missing the confused look in the cerulean eyes. Having caught the sight of you entering, he misses the next punch that lands him on his ass with a deep chuckle from Steve.

“Should’ve been paying attention Buck instead of watching Y/N’s ass,” extending his hand to help Bucky up getting a groan vibrating from the other man’s chest.

“Fuck you Punk,” getting to his feet and moving to grab up the towel, wiping the sweat from his brow. His focus being shit for the last few days, his thoughts straying to you.

Shaking his sandy blonde head, “Go, we ain’t gonna get anything else done today with your brain focused on her.”

“Little brain don’t you mean Steve,” gruff laughter echoing through the gym as Sam comes over, mirth dancing in those deep ochre eyes. “What’s the matter Buck you can’t satisfy my girl anymore?”

Fire dancing as his eyes landing on the Falcon who keeps the smirk spread across his lips. Knowing he’s hit or so he thinks, a little to close to home. “She ain’t your girl Wilson leave off,” heading for the door determined to find out just why you’ve been ducking him for the last several days.

Which brings us back to you leaning against your door eyes closed tightly memories cycling through your mind of all the times you and Bucky made love. Soft whimpers leaving your lips chased by a heavy dose of frustration and need. Hand slamming palm flat against the door, you didn’t want to worry Bucky but you needed more, wanted more. You also knew the way you’ve handled the situation isn’t the best especially when you hear a throat clear behind you.

Tensing up, forehead still resting against the door that you turn to see Bucky, tight black t-shirt clinging to that scalped chest. Sweat beading along his forehead to slide down his cheek lower to tip toe the lovely expanse of his neck you want to place your lips against. Swallowing you straighten and turn to face him, “Hey Buck what brings you by?”

“We need to talk,” voice flat, keeping his emotions closed off so he doesn’t show you how worried he truly is.

Nodding, reaching for the door handle as Bucky nears unconsciously pressing his chest against your back. The contact makes you stiffen and try to stifle a moan with having him so close. Hand shaking so that you barely can get it pulled down and pushed open. Knowing you needed a clear head for this talk yet how can you when Bucky is looking like a fucking status come to life. You’re all but drooling when you turn to face him and that lethal stance he’s taken up. Arms crossed over his chest making his muscles look ever bigger, one leg stepped to the side while the other remains straight. He’s such a fucking tease to you but totally unaware of the effects he causes you.  

“Fuck no one should look that sexy,” thinking you’ve said the words to yourself but the rambling groan from the man opposite you tells a different story. Swallowing you eyes raise to catch his, this time you can see the heat and desire coloring those lovely eyes pitch.

Stepping towards you, hands fisting at his side the soft whirl of his vibranium plate’s the only sound besides the deep breathing of you both. “If that’s what you think doll then way have you been ducking me?”

Chewing your bottom lip, arms crossing just under your heavy breasts pushing them up. Gaining his attention and the slow slide of his tongue over his lips. Mesmerized by the sight no words form in your mind till that smirk tugs at the corner of his lips. Snapping you from the stupor you found yourself in for a moment.

“I haven’t been ducking you Buck,” to prove his point you turn to head towards the little kitchenette for a bottle of water. Finding yourself thirsty but for more than water. Parched to the point you maybe ready to beg the man who you turned your back on to just take you right here.

Something you knew better than to do with his light footsteps he’s behind you again, pressing his chest against your back. Hands on either side on the fridge, sandwiching you in with his super solider body. Regretting choosing the thin workout shorts and tank top, feeling the heat radiate from him making you pant with need.

“Don’t believe you baby girl, you did it just now,” voice smooth as silk against your ear. Minty breath fanning over the shell with his cheek pressed lightly against your head. Taking in the soft scent of your hair and skin the scent shooting straight to his harden cock making him throb with need.

Knowing all you have to do is turn and his lips would be on yours in a hot second. You hold out trying to form some kind of coherent thought which is almost fucking impossible with Bucky pressing into you. “I didn’t,” bitting your bottom lip to keep the whine from leaving you lips. Feeling the cool metal of his fingers slide down your bare shoulder to wrap lightly around your wrist. That’s when you snap turning quickly in his embrace, fire snapping in your eyes that makes him pause and take a step back.

“Y/N?” confusion making the pupil retract just as his body does. “Did I do something…”

Growling in frustration to slap at his chest, “Yes you did that’s the problem Barnes, you’ve done it to fucking well in fact.” Watching him recoil a step, makes your eyes close to reign yourself in. “Why do you have to be so damn gentlemanly? Treating me like a fucking piece of glass.”

“Y/N I’m not following you,” even more confused than before yet its mixed with desire. That coats his veins, making his cock twitch at your aggressiveness. Trying to bring. himself under control, not wanting to hurt or scare you.

“Ugh,” tossing your hands up, slapping his chest again. “You don’t have to be gentle with me, I don’t break easily James.” Praying he get’s what your meaning seeing his brow dip makes you angry and you step forward roughly pulling him against you. Crashing your lips into his, nipping at the plush bottom lip demanding entry. When he remains unmovable your heart sinks and you pull back. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” words whispered from tingling lips, body stiff against the island, hands balled tight to keep from roughly pulling you back to him.

Rolling your eyes to look up at him, soft gasp parting your lips at the return of those lust blown black eyes. “You won’t James I know you won’t but sometimes…” sighing shaking your head then look away taking a step.  

“Sometimes what?” vibranuim hand shooting out to grab your bicep to keep you from bolting. “What do you need Y/N tell me.” Gods his voice is deep and gravelly, it takes all your power to keep from flinging yourself back into his arms and demand he fuck you now. Thick thighs rubbing together with one simple possessive hold on your body.

Stealing yourself to look up at him, “I need you to fuck me Sergeant, I need no want to feel you tomorrow when I’m working remembering the way you made me feel the way you took me.” Swallowing harshly hoping you’ve gotten through to him.

“Strip,” single word leaves his lips, eyes flashing dangerously as he pulls you back against him. Hands one cool, the other warm grip your shoulders. “If you want those clothes you’ll take them off doll because God knows I won’t be able to keep from ripping them off your fucking body.”

A shutter licks down your spine at his tone, heat pooling in your core, watching for a moment the tick in his jaw. Hypnotized by the slow bob of his Adams apple that you don’t heed his warning till the sound of fabric ripping meets your ears and your chest is partly bare to his gaze.

“James,” soft gasp leaving your lips, eyes darting between him and your own body. Watching as his vibranium fingers trace between your the soft swells of your breasts setting your skin on fire with the simple touch, coming to pause between the generous globes. Catching the edges of your black bra, ripping the fabric pulling it from your body to join your ruined tank top. As another gasp is wrenched from your lips this time with a tiny squawk of anger. “You’ll pay for those Barnes,” finally breaking from the lustful haze. Wanting to be angry but finding it hard to maintain the heat behind your words with how his touch is firing off tingles and shivers up and down your body.

Full blown smirk crosses his lips, “I warned you sweetheart,” glancing down to catch how your body moves, knowing from the subtle rub your needing release. “About those shorts and panties which I’m betting are soaked right now. Am I right doll? You know I can smell you right, know when your aroused,” brow lifting when no words meet his ears. He takes a step forward you take one back body bumping against the cold refrigerator door. Some how his voice drops another octave as he leans forward caging you in, mouth dangerously close to your ear. “You forgot to say please by the way doll, remember your manners.”

Watching him pull back to capture your gaze, teeth making an indentation in your bottom lip. He groans capturing your mouth with no gentleness. Demandingly thrusting his hot tongue into your mouth, licking into the warm cavern, to tango with your tongue in a dance that leaves you both gasping. His forehead resting against yours when he breaks.  Breathlessly, “Please James fuck me, make me feel it tomorrow, please.”

Deep groan leaves his lip and before you can do anything he’s tossed you over his shoulder, slapping your ass hard enough you know a bruise will be there tomorrow. Only serving to make you squirm in his hold, feeling your clit throb, a moan at being manhandled leaves your lips. Long strides eat up the steps to your shared bed that his tosses you on. Watching you bounce, nipples peaked in the air condition cooled room. Licking his lips, he places one knee on the bed looking the part of a wild man stalking his prey as you move u p the bed to the top. Knowing he has you in his sights, making your body hum with need and reach down to tug your shorts and panties off. Tossing them to the floor, watching his shirt join and shortly after by his tented sweatpants and boxer briefs. Staring for a moment as his thick cock juts from his groin, little pearl drops begging to be licked up sit perfectly on the slit. Til his hand wraps around coating his palm and sliding down the shaft. Desire flaring in his eyes while he watches you watch him. Deep growl rambling from his chest as you tease him.

Spreading your thick thighs for him, fingers tracing your body all sense of modesty nonexistent with the heated look he’s giving you. Plucking your nipples, giving them both a hard pinch that makes your back arch a needy gasp leaving you. Air sucked in through your nose, exiting from your mouth his name riding along on a breathless whimper. “James,” and he’s there slotting between your thighs, one hand wrapped around his shaft stroking twice before running the tip through your folds before slotting at your entrance and start to slide inside you.

Smirking when a huff leaves your lip only to turn into a gasp when he fills you quickly, seating himself deep between your quivering walls. Mouth coming to ghost over your ear, “Hang on doll it’s gonna be a rough hard ride.”

[dontworrysunflower]

Merry Fucking Christmas | h.s.

a/n: i’m baaaaccckk!! lol idk it took me a while to finish this and i was gonna have it finished before christmas but then i was exposed to covid so i was little paranoid but anyway (i’m good tho). merry christmas and happy holidays!! i know this years been hard but hopefully we can make it a little better :)

warnings: drinking, angst?? idk not proof read word vomit, some language too

word count: 3.1k

also thank you @watchmegetobsessed !!

feedback/reblogs appreciated

You knew the holidays this year were going to be difficult. You procrastinated on getting gifts for your friends. Your work seemed to pile up on your desk since you got your promotion. You weren’t able to fly back home, and you still had some thanksgiving weight you weren’t able to put off.

Oh yeah, another thing. Harry was still with his girlfriend.

You met Katy, Harry’s girlfriend, at his birthday party in February. She was the epitome of ‘his type’. She had bleach blonde extensions and the bluest eyes you've ever seen. She was tall and really, really loud.

Since then, she’s all he ever talked about when they weren’t together, but when they were in the same room, boy did you want to gag.

You thought they would last maybe three to four months, you were so sure, you bet with some of your other friends.

Needless to say, you lost quite a lot of money.

You tried not to let it bother you, really. But it was so hard when Harry is the literal sweetest person you’ve met, had the voice of an angel and wasn’t bad to look at.

You felt you were the closest with Harry when you moved to London. He made you feel welcome in your little friends group. There was a little flirting game between the two of you that you didn’t even notice until one of your friends brought it up.

“Oh c’mon, it’s so obvious you like each other.” Margot slurred, her second glass clinking against the table as she finished every drop.

“What?” You asked, baffled. Your eyes were wide and your face started to heat up. “He doesn’t like me.”

“But you like him?” Ava, a friend from work, smirked at you.

You stumbled on your words, wiping at the condensation on your glass.

But since he was in a relationship now, you felt almost icky around him. You felt so uncomfortable around him that you did whatever you could to not be in the same room as him.

You were ready for the holidays, you thought. It would give you a break from constantly thinking about him being so busy with your family back in your hometown.

You should’ve known London weather wouldn’t be in your favor. It rained constantly everyday and the fog seemed to get closer to the ground every other day. The weather was getting so bad that you started working from home, the roads too wet and icy to drive on. So honestly, you weren’t that surprised when airports closed due to the weather, meaning you had to spend Christmas in London.

With Harry.

The day after flights were cancelled Harry texted on your group chat saying he could host a dinner and party on Christmas eve and everyone was invited. You watched texts from your other friends flood in, some excited vulgar words were thrown in there as well.

You never responded. Not only because you still felt weird around him for having this massive crush on him, but because things haven’t really been the same between you two.

You can’t remember the last time you had a full on conversation with him before you had to excuse yourself because you couldn’t take the ache in your chest when you were around him, and he wasn’t yours. You can’t remember the last joke he ever told you or when you went out for lunch or drinks when it was only the two of you. You were sure he noticed how weird you were around him, but never said anything, so you let it be.

As the day neared, your mind would change on whether you were going or not. You didn’t want to seem bitchy and cold on what was supposed to be the happiest and cheerful day of the year, so you thought you would go. You thought of every reason you shouldn’t go that had nothing to do with Harry, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to handle seeing him cozy up with his very serious girlfriend.

But there would be alcohol, so you decided to go.

•••

Hey (y/n)! Think you come over early and help me set up for tomorrow? H xx

You stared at the text for what seemed like hours, but it was only a couple seconds. Before you could even register what your fingers were doing, you tied up a quick message and hit send before you could stop yourself.

Of course!! See you tomorrow!

You hated yourself for the rest of the day. Why would you do this to yourself? You could barely be in the same room as him and some other friends. How would you survive being alone before the party started?

•••

The butterflies in your stomach have not been able to settle since you woke up Christmas Eve morning. Just the thought of seeing him made you nervous. You almost didn’t get out of bed that morning. But you pat yourself on the back when your feet finally hit your wooden flooring and moved on with your day.

Your shoulders hung low beside you as the time to meet up grew closer, the sun lowering behind you, Christmas lights and inflatable decorations coming to life as stars dotted the sky.

You sighed heavily as you styled your hair and naturally did your makeup.

You slid on your silky, tight dress and grabbed your coat and quickly made your way to your car to get away from the bitter cold.

You rubbed your hands together, blowing into them to regain some feeling before turning the key into the ignition, quickly turning the heater on, Mariah Carey blasting through your speakers.

You were about to pull out of your driveway, mumbling along to Mariah’s notes when you realized you forgot the gifts.

•••

Your shoulders were hunched up as you knocked on the white door, your foot tapping against the brick stairs of Harry’s house as you waited for him to open it in the freezing cold.

You could hear shuffling from the other side and watched the doorknob wiggle, Harry having trouble with his lock since June and still hasn’t had anyone fix it.

The door swings open to reveal Harry in his glory, brown corduroy pants and an ugly Christmas sweater under an apron that’s tied around his slender waist that you’ve always been jealous of.

“Hey, sorry, come on in.” Harry said to you before moving out of the way, a bowl nestled between his side and his arm.

You mumbled a quiet thank you before stepping in, your cheeks reddening at the warmth enveloping you as you walked through the foyer of his home.

“Mm,” he hummed as he remembered something. He puts down the bowl he had on his white kitchen counter and waddles over to you, a small curve on his lips as he wrapped his arms around you. “Merry Christmas, love.”

You hate that nickname. But you don’t. You hate the butterflies that flutter in your stomach when he says that word. You hate the goosebumps it causes you and the hairs sticking up on your neck when he says the one thing you feel too harshly for him. And you hate how much he doesn’t feel it back.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” You mumbled into his neck, his cologne flooding your senses bringing you comfort.

He doesn’t let go of you yet, but he backs up just a little to see you. “You look gorgeous, (y/n).”

The air gets stuck in your lungs and you almost forgot how to formulate words. You hoped Harry thought the pigment on your cheeks would be from the cold because it totally was. Before it was obvious how his words affected you, you stuttered out a few words. “Thank you, you look nice too.”

He chuckled at you, the breath passing his lips hitting your neck, a tingle passing through your spine. “You don’t have to lie, darling.” He squeezed you one last time before letting you go, your body instantly becoming colder as he backed away.

There's a low hum of Christmas music playing in his surround sound system, a tall tree tucked in a corner between his burning fireplace and window looking out onto the street.

You turn your attention back to Harry as he speaks up again, his famous dimples puncturing his cheeks. “Thanks fo’ comin’ early to help me out.”

You rolled your coat off your shoulders and hung by the door, walking up to him as he moved around the kitchen. “Oh yeah, it’s no problem. Not like I had anything else to do.”

He gave you a small sympathetic smile before throwing a tray full of greens into the oven. “I’m sorry you couldn’t go see your family.”

You shrug as you run your finger on the edge of his marble counter. “It’s alright, nothing I can do much anyway.” You perk up when you remember what you’re doing here so early in the first place. “Guess that’s why I’m here, no? What can I help you with?” Your heels click as you move around the counter closer to him.

“Nope.” His lips puckered as he pushed you back to where you were standing. “Just stand there and talk to me. Wine?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you blindly nod, watching him uncork a bottle of Moscato. Your favorite.

He hands you a glass of the sparkling wine before turning back around to the dishes, prepping food of all kinds for everyone and most importantly; eggnog.

“But, you said you needed my help.”

He chuckled nervously, his cheeks reddening. From your comment or from the wine? You weren’t going to get your hopes up. “I just need some company before the party. Just stand there and look pretty.”

You try your hardest ignore the blush on your cheeks. You twirl the wine glass from the neck, watching the liquid swirl around in the depths of the glass. “What about Katy?”

He sighs deeply, opening the oven to check on the food. “We’ve been kind of fighting lately.”

You did your best to stop the grin from forming on your lips, hoping he did notice your sudden burst at the new information. They are still together, so you can’t act on anything. “I’m sorry. Can I ask what’s going on?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know really. Anything and everything. Every little thing I do annoys her and anything she does annoys me. It just wasn’t the same.”

“Is she coming?” You ask before you can think about it.

He shrugs again, shoulders hanging more than usual. “I don’t think so. She said she was staying home since she can‘t fly back to her family either.”

A silence hangs between the two of you when neither of you said anything, not really sure of what needs to be said next.

“I don’t think I feel the same way for her as I did in the beginning.” Harry mumbled, arms crossed over his chest as his hip leaning against the counter, his usually bright eyes a little darker, a little sadder.

You walk up to him and lay your hand on his shoulder, giving him a small smile. “It’s not my business but, if you really feel that way, you shouldn’t lead her on, it’ll only hurt both of you.”

Harry looks down at the floor as he nods. “Thanks, love.”

There’s a wave of silence between you again as he raises his head to look at you. You almost felt small under his gaze. Something about his crystal green eyes always made you nervous. You were scared he could see what you were really thinking.

And you also swear his eyes fell to your lips.

•••

The dinner party was in full swing now, people’s laughter bleeding in with the loud Christmas music playing around the house. Some people were dancing in front of the fireplace, drinks being refilled every once in a while.

You were standing by the counter with your friends, Margot and Ava, chatting and drinking your eggnog instead of the wine you had before the party started. You had completely forgotten about the wonderful man hosting this party, the conversation you had earlier with him slipping your mind as the drink in your hand lowered to the bottom of the glass, intoxicating your thoughts.

Even though you offered to help, Harry didn’t let you help with the rest of dinner before everyone came over, so now the food still wasn’t ready as people flooded in. You heard him say something about potatoes and that was as much as you knew of the food preparation and when you would be able to eat.

The music is lowered a bit and then a clicking sound was heard, everyone turning their heads towards Harry, who clinked a fork against his glass. “Dinner is ready!”

Everyone cheered and started making their way towards the dining room. Most people had already filtered towards the next room when a knock on the front door was heard.

You turned your head as Harry twisted the knob. You were sure Harry's face mimicked yours when you saw who was standing at the doorway.

There stood Katy, hair newly bleached and a little overdressed.

She wasted no time in wrapping her arms around him, her plump lips repeatedly marking his face with the bright lipstick.

“Oh god,” you waltzed over towards Ava, who was pouring herself a new glass of eggnog. “pass me the eggnog, I can’t stand this sober.” You pushed her over slightly and grabbed the handle of the ladle she was using, filling up your cup almost to the brim.

Ava looked at you in curiosity at your sudden change, carefully looking over at the lovely couple still by the door. “Wait, I thought you told me they were fighting.” She whispered beside you, eyes widening as she watched you gulp down some of the eggnog you just served yourself to give yourself some more.

“Guess fucking not.” You were much less sober now, on the brink of tipsy and drunk. Your words slurred, eyelids heavy, vision blurry. “Let’s go fucking eat.” You dragged Ava by the wrist towards the commotion in the dining room, almost, but not quite forgetting about the couple behind you.

•••

You’ve had four glasses of eggnog. Or was it five? But now, you stand in front of the bowl, pouring some into your glass again, making it six.

“Don’t you think you’ve had enough?” You hear his sultry voice behind you, his tone a little sassy and annoyed, but you didn’t care.

“What are you gonna do about it?” You slurred, turning around to face him. His pink lips were turned down in a frown, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, his buff arms that were constricted in his sweater cross in front of his chest. “Gonna go kiss your girlfriend some more?” You stumbled on your feet, your drink almost spilling over the rim.

“What does that have to do with anything?” His face changed from annoyance to confusion. His thumb twisting the ring on his other finger nervously.

You open your mouth to retaliate, but even in this drunk state you knew not to say anything. You chug the creamy drink, keeping eye contact with him, watching his face change again. You didn’t care.

He obviously didn’t care either.

You sighed dramatically as you finished the drink. “Merry fucking Christmas.”

•••

You had sobered up quite a bit after your little encounter with Harry, mainly because there was no eggnog left.

You realized it was for the better though, so you made your way back into the kitchen, doing your best to not stumble or bump against anything as you grabbed an empty cup to fill with water.

“I am really sorry.” You knew his voice anywhere. But it wasn’t his usual chirpy, charming voice he had that always soothed you, it sounded more sad and somber.

“On Christmas? Out of any day you chose today?” Katy sniffled, voice wobbly and hurt.

“I know but, you know we can’t go on any longer, we’ll just hurt each other more.”

“I think I'm going to head out.”

You don’t hear Harry say anything back, but the sound of the door clicking open catches your attention and you almost turn around to watch.

“I just have one question.” Katy said weakly.

You walked away before you could hear anything else.

•••

Even though you were still a little upset at Harry (For what? You weren’t sure anymore), you stayed behind as everyone left to help him clean up before you head home.

You were putting things back in his refrigerator when you heard the front door close, the light chatter and drunken goodbyes silenced by the wooden door.

You kept your back towards the door, suddenly nervous of the words that would be spoken between the two of you.

“(y/n), can we talk?” Harry’s voice was low and sultry, your knees almost gave out.

“I should um-I should get going. It’s late.” You hurry around him to grab your things and for the door, but he holds your wrist.

“Please?” He sounded desperate, and for the first time in what felt like days you looked up into his emerald eyes. There was that desperate look in his eyes, his eyebrows furrowed and lips turned down into a frown.

You sigh and nod slowly.

He lets go of your wrist and stuffed his hands in his back pockets, his pink cheeks either from the cold or from nervousness.

“I’m sorry.” He said suddenly. “I didn’t mean to get mad and I know I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Is that it?

You weren’t going to lie, you thought he would profess his love to you or something.

“I um- I also,” he swallows and takes your hand, his rings cold to the touch. “I broke up with Katy.”

Your mouth opened for words to come out but nothing ever left your lips.

“Do you want to know the real reason why Katy and I were fighting?”

You’re still speechless, scared of the answer, even though you have an idea of what he'll say.

“I’ve always liked you, (y/n).” His shoulders rise in a deep breath. “I guess, I don’t know, I thought if I started seeing someone else it would it easier but, not being with you this past year has been hell and I know I haven’t made it any easier with being with Katy but—”

Your lips crash on his, your arms wrapping his neck, your fingers immediately tangling in his brown locks.

He stumbles back in shock but grabs at your hips, bringing you closer to his chest.

His pink lips press against yours, the corners slowly turning up into a smile, breaking your kiss.

“Merry fucking Christmas to me.”

•••

Taglist:

@samaratheweirdo @sarcasticallywitty15

(Let me know if you would like to be added or taken off taglist.)

[miraeluc]

you have an anxiety attack

prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”

pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader

warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, angst

rough day? 

no

roughest of the rough 

it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go

all you needed to do was brush your teeth

of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 

that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is

you went to work

that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill

first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up

that’s what it felt like at least

then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH

an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!

curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders

so you started over

was it worth it? 

no

your boss hated it

you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker

your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!

poor bennett 

bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break

you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕

he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 

he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation

“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”

you ended up working overtime 

you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 

so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work

you finished at 9pm

your work hours are 8am-5:30pm

nope, not having a great time 

well, at least you can go home now!

you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate

aka kaeya

aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable

aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE

his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up

maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 

he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao

which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him

there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 

you’re content with your current relationship with him

right?

kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city

neither of you mind, he’s having his fun

and you know that there’s much more to it 

you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least

well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day

right as you got to the station it drove away

fuck

what now?

you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.

oh well. 

usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier

its only a 15 minute walk you can do it

it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!

not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently

by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be

kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door

“where were you??”

“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”

“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”

he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression

“oh, y/n, what happened?” 

he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 

“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed

he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked

you scoffed but nodded anyway

 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”

you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold

at least the shower went well

:///

you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry

you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left

he just looked so hungry

ANYWAYS

you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook

if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no

you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes

kaeya shows up too

“what’re you baking?”

he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need

“cupcakes. how was your day?”

you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner

“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”

you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 

“how come? you never get off”

“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”

you stopped listening halfway

you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter

you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????

you look over at the open bag of salt

wait a second 

you take out a little dough and taste it

FUCK

“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”

he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 

uhhhhh

he’s never been in this situation

“y/n?? why are you crying-”

he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some

oh, that’s why

“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted

he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 

he immediately regreted what he said

“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 

you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug

you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 

you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now

you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you

“w-why am i so worthless?!”

you punched his chest

“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”

punch

“i’m so us-useless”

punch

“i should just kill m-”

he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say

“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”

you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again

your hands gripped at his tshirt

his hand rested over your shaky ones

it broke him

seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 

“come on, let’s breathe together”

his voice was soft when he spoke to you

he took a deep breath in, you following

you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 

hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe

he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 

why did he feel like this?

sure, flirting with girls is fun 

and ghosting them is also fun

he usually doesn’t care about hurting them

but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?

and why does your pain hurt him too?

he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 

(it doesn’t)

oh well. 

taking care of your needs is more important right now

he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 

“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”

you sniffled and nodded 

you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him

he’s never done that 

you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 

he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering

you both fell into a comfortable silence

at some point he thought you fell asleep lol

“kaeya?”

he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming

“thank you.”

additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Cowboy - Part 13

Summary: Leaving the city for a rural area called Blayne seemed simple enough. Your task was to convince the people to agree with selling their land for a resort redevelopment. But once there, you soon realise that your city ways are entirely different to theirs. Winning their trust was going to take some effort, and when you start to fall for a local cowboy, you wonder if you really needed Blayne more than the city life after all.

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader

Genre: cowboy au / drama / romance / if you squint there’s some enemies to lovers up in here.

Warnings: Jung Jaehyun is a cowboy, need I say more? (a bit of angst and drama, and it sometimes might feel like you’re reading a Nicolas Sparks book, so I’m told lol)

Word count: 2450

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14

“This is crazy!”

Glancing at Natalia next to you in the car as you neared the border for Blayne, you grinned. “I thought you grew up on farms?”

“The kind near the city. Nothing like this. There’s just a whole lot of land out here.”

“I would ask if you want me to turn around and take you back, but after travelling for this long, I want to just be done from being in this car.”

Laughing, Natalia craned her neck to use the side mirror. “I think the truck behind us might find that a little burdensome too.”

“I’m amazed that truck of his made it to the city and back.”

“Aren’t you glad Jaehyun came for you?” she wondered, and you couldn’t hide the genuine smile that spread out your lips immediately. “You’re smitten!”

“You’ve seen him. How could I not be?”

“Blayne’s livestock sure are made of fine specimens,” Natalia teased, and you laughed heartily.

“They do claim to have the best pigs in the nation, but I’m not so sure if that relates to all the men they have, Nat.”

“Well, the two I’ve seen…” She trailed off to kiss her fingers. “Total chef kiss.”

“Avery is single, too.”

“I never asked.”

“You didn’t need to. I could see the wheels turning from here.”

“Do you reckon he’d want a country Belle or-”

You grinned. “For Avery, I think he likes women in whatever way they come.”

“That doesn’t speak much for my chances.”

“Why not, Miss Natalia?” you chimed, and your best friend swatted your arm. “He didn’t even refer to me like that when I met him. Should I be sad?”

“Stop trying to snatch my cowboy away from me. You already have your own.”

Suddenly the truck signalled its horn behind you and you glanced up into the rear-mirror, noticing the indicator of the truck now on. Turning your attention to the side of the road, you couldn’t help but laugh at that gas station you had gone to all those months ago appearing again.

You didn’t need any gas, but it seemed Jaehyun’s truck needed the pit stop. Getting out of your vehicle, you noticed the smoke coming out from under the hood. Walking over to Jaehyun’s side, you gasped noisily. “Looks like it’s finally died on you.”

“She’s not dead,” he grumbled, running a hand through his hair agitatedly after popping the hood. “She needs water.”

“And a retirement,” Avery added on, leaning on the side of Jaehyun’s truck whilst shaking his head. “You and your stubborn ways.”

“I’m not giving up on her,” Jaehyun announced, and you frowned with the level of emotion you heard in his tone. He groaned. “Though, I think I might need to leave her here tonight so she doesn’t overheat further.”

Avery nodded. “I’ll go sort it out with Mick inside the station.”

Kicking the tire gently, Jaehyun turned to look over your shoulder, not quite meeting your eye. Stepping in and placing your hands on his hips, you shot him an encouraging smile. “We’ll come and pick your truck up tomorrow.”

“We?”

“Well, I’d offer to tow it, but my car won’t handle that. I’m sure Avery’s truck will, though.”

“I’m starting to feel nervous,” Jaehyun confessed, and you blinked curiously. “At your return. People are going to talk.”

“I hope they’ve been talking up a storm. And that they are still willing to talk even when I’m there. Nat and I will rely on that talk to get things moving.”

“You’re so certain about this,” he observed, and you nodded once. “Why?”

“Because this is my project. I invested a lot of my time and energy into Blayne and found the deficit too glaring to just forget about it all when your Dad ordered me to leave. Further, I can’t just stop loving you either. You and I still have a lot to discuss.”

Jaehyun nodded thoughtfully, his signature lopsided, dimpled grin appearing. “You’re a formidable woman, Miss Adaptable.”

You didn’t make a big fuss about sitting down for that chat right away once you were back in Blayne. There was a lot to be done, especially around your new residence. You weren’t staying on the Jung’s property this time, even though you wished nothing more than to wake up in your bedroom at the homestead.

Instead, you were the first guests since 1983 to inhabit the inn.

“You sure there’s no ghost stories associated with this place?” Natalia queried as you both ate breakfast in the kitchen a few days after your arrival.

Grinning at your best friend, you shrugged. “Who knows? But if there are any more co-inhabitants here with us, they ought to pick up a broom and give things a good sweep or dusting.”

“We’ve been clearing cobwebs for days. How is this town going to be a hub of change, Y/N?”

“Nothing worthwhile comes without any effort, Natty. This place is kind of charming if you put aside its outdated décor.”

“Charming, you say,” she mentioned, pointing to the dripping tap in the kitchen. Even if the room now sparkled as best as it could from your combined cleaning, you still had repairs that were pressing.

“It could be very charming,” another voice mentioned, and you grinned at Avery’s cheeky appearance. “Sorry for intruding. The back door’s always been easy enough to get in through.”

“So it’s not just your cousin who’s good with getting in and out of places they shouldn’t be.”

“Where do you think I learned it from?” Avery admitted with an easy laugh, and after sending Natalia a wink, he placed a toolbox up on the countertop. “Leaky tap, huh? I guess I ought to fix this for you before it drives you nuts.”

“Will you?!” Natalia asked, graciously smiling in his direction. “It’s not the only one needing repairs, admittedly.”

“It’s a good thing I ran down to the hardware store a town over for some new faucets then, isn’t it?”

“Where’s Jaehyun?”

As he looked for the right tool, Avery answered. “On the ranch.”

“He okay on his own?”

“Sure, if you call being in the company of my grouchy uncle after us leaving Blayne last week caused him to get behind in work, being okay.”

“I actually have to go see Mr Jung today,” you announced and smiled at the pair who stopped staring flirtatiously at each other to look in your direction. “It’s time to get things rolling, don’t you think?”

“Will you be okay?”

“If Jaehyun’s handling his father, then I think I’ll go assist him. I’m half at fault here.”

“I don’t agree entirely with that, Y/N.”

Natalia agreed with Avery. “You aren’t at fault at all.”

“There’s a lot of things I want answers to and a whole lot of information I will need to pass on to him now that I’m here to work on the redevelopment of Blayne for housing.”

“He has a temper.”

“That much I’m aware of already, Avery,” you replied with a grin, picking up your coffee and raising it in a gesture of farewell. “Nat, you stay here and help point out the areas for Avery to work on.”

“Sure, I can do that,” she answered and turned to mouth a thank you at you.

Chuckling as you stepped outside and over to your car, you stopped when you saw Dorothy crossing the road towards you.

“Well, I’ll be damned. Everyone said you were back, but I didn’t believe it until these eyes of mine saw it in person!”

Taking her hand fondly, you cocked your head to the side. “Did you truly think you could get rid of me that easily?! I have work to do here!”

“Are you staying in the inn, Y/N? I’ll make sure to send my Jacob over to help with anything you might need repairing. Lord only knows how that place is holding up.”

Pointing to the building you had just departed, you smiled. “Avery is inside fixing some taps already.”

“Really? Well, he didn’t wait long. I thought everyone was instructed to stay put until Old Jung stopped punishing his boy for bringing you back.”

“Is that how everyone is seeing it?”

“Did I speak out of turn?!” Dorothy asked with a gasp, and you shook your head firmly.

“Not at all, Dorothy. I’m grateful for what you just said. Do let everyone know it was June Jung who I called in regards to returning to Blayne about, however. She’s the one who let me and my best friend into the inn, after all.”

“June?! She’s never the type not to follow along with her husband’s word!”

Shaking your head again, you patted her lower arm. “There’s a lot to Mrs Jung that Blayne folk seem to not know about.”

Greeting June when you arrived at her home shortly after, you grinned brightly at her. She laughed. “I was worried after a few nights in that inn you might decide to leave.”

“It’s nothing like the homestead, but I can see with some effort put in how it can help with our plans.”

“He’s not exactly thrilled.”

You nodded. “I doubt your husband is.”

“But he is listening. I told him to wait for you in his office. He gruffly headed in there five minutes ago.”

“I won’t keep him waiting then,” you assured June, smiling again before taking the same pathway you had a couple of weeks ago.

Inhaling a deep breath, you pushed forward into the office, Mr Jung looking up at you. You smiled politely. “It’s nice to see you again. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m Y/N, Blayne’s new town building specialist.”

Mr Jung ignored the hand you held out to him and cleared his throat but didn’t answer. Deciding to take his silence as not a complete refusal, you sat down across from him and pulled out the proposal you had drafted up for this meeting. And without any hesitation, you launched into it.

He didn’t interrupt your speech, even picking up the copy of the plans you had placed on the table midway through and flicked to the page you were talking about. By the time you reached the end of your planned speech, you were a mixture of relief and curiosity.

You had no idea what Mr Jung was thinking.

Heaving out a breath when you were finally done, Mr Jung nodded softly. “Very well.”

“Is that all?” you asked, and Mr Jung stared over at you. His gaze didn’t make you uncomfortable, rather, vulnerable. It was as if he was trying to pick a way into your brain and figure everything out about you.

Sighing when he didn’t seem to find whatever it was, Mr Jung looked out the window. “My family has been here for generations.”

“I looked into it when initially setting up here,” you confirmed, and he smiled swiftly.

“I suppose you know about my wife then.”

“I do. I believe it’s why she’s been supportive of my stay here.”

“She tells me that you remind her of herself. I don’t entirely see it, though I’m aged and weathered now. My son, however, he’s young.”

“We don’t have to discuss Jaehyun if you are going to berate and accuse me of-”

“My son is the next generation of the Jung family line. He’ll inherit this ranch when I leave this earth, and I hope his children in the future continue to help Blayne remain a fair and happy community. When June and I found we couldn’t have any further children, where I come from a line of ten, I foolishly believed if I shaped Jaehyun from an early age to take on this place, we would continue a successful line. My parents entrusted this ranch to me, the only son. Perhaps if I had daughters too, I would have softened. But I only had one child, and I was too harsh.”

“Why did the fire happen, Mr Jung?” you asked softly, and the man rubbed at his face before leaning back in his chair.

“I told Jaehyun he couldn’t ever leave Blayne. That kid is something else. He always has been. He’s good with the cattle, he’s even better upon a horse. His school got him into rodeo early on, and I thought it would only shape him to have a competitive streak to help our ranch. The first time I saw him do a run, I knew there was more to his riding, though. But he was only twelve then. Teenage years would come, and I assumed he would choose new interests, or feel the weight of the work around the yard. Jaehyun didn’t let go of the barrels and would train even at night if he had to. He never failed to do his chores first, and I grew exasperated that I couldn’t find a way to stop him.”

“As a parent, shouldn’t you encourage his pursuits?” you pointed out, and Mr Jung nodded loosely.

“I was real proud of my boy. He had more trophies and rosettes in that bedroom of his than he had anything else. When he got scouted, he was beaming from ear to ear. I was selfish. We didn’t have anyone to take his spot here if he was going to be away. My father preached to me about how this ranch has been handled by Jung hands for decades. What you assume I did next is correct.”

“You took him out of barrel racing.”

“I thought it was for the best. And then he ran away from home. He caused trouble for a few families here with their kids following him. Avery was almost sent to boarding school because May was worried Jaehyun corrupted him. I had a township to maintain the peace with too. So I took the wrong approach with Jaehyun and cornered him further.”

“Why a fire, though?”

“I told him his only place on earth was Blayne. He said he wished Blayne would stop existing. I didn’t think he’d actually do anything about it. But he broke into the theatre that night, and the fire quickly took hold of our town.”

You merely sat there, trying to battle through Jaehyun’s past anguish and understanding the father who carried deep remorse for his actions.

Mr Jung noticed and smiled sadly. “I tried to take the blame. After all, I had driven my son to choose that path. But the people knew better. So my only approach to Jaehyun, who was racked with guilt, was to use that to hold him here. He’s never thought of leaving or doing anything else.”

Mr Jung stared at you with an indescribable expression. “Until you arrived, Y/N.”

_________________

Part 14

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[funkymbtifiction]

Some kind of Introverted Feeler!

Howdy! So I've been able to narrow down my choices to Fi dominant/Te inferior; my whole life has had themes of these functions, everyone knows me for being "the sensitive one", or if you're in my family, the person to walk on eggshells around;;

My biggest concern is just trying to pinpoint if I display either Ne/Si or Se/Ni... Which I know are two *completely* different functions, but it's easy to fall victim to confusion and wondering, "Hmm, I guess I do these things sometimes!"...

Sounds like you're super confident in being sensory-aware, engaged with the outer world, and doing actual real things as opposed to dreaming and brainstorming with your INFP boyfriend -- so yes, ISFP is accurate. A lot of what you said (nostalgia about the past, etc) could tie into whatever your core Enneagram type is -- 9s in particular can be somewhat sentimental and lapse into revising old hobbies or interests or romanticizing the past as a source of comfort in a stressful situation.

[petri808]

@thenaluarchive winter wonderland snow activities prompt. How about some sledding in Hawaii 🤗🏂🌨

For college student Lucy Heartfilia, if there was one thing she missed about home, it was the snowy winters. Being in Hawaii for the last 3 years, she enjoyed the beach days, of sun and fun, and all the new friends she’s made, but the autumn and winter months was such a different experience here. For starters, the leaves don’t change color in the Fall! Before she’d come to the University of Hawaii at Hilo, Lucy never realized how much she would miss such a trivial thing.

And that January was colder than the last one according to her roommate Levy McGarden. Honestly, Lucy couldn’t really tell the difference because to her cold was like 20 degrees Fahrenheit not 70. That first year was amusing to her as she walked around in a tank top and the locals in hoodies complaining about the chill in the air. But she had to agree with Levy as they sat in their rented house. That night was a bit chillier than most. Hawaiian winter storms were really just deluges of rain, and based on how much it was pouring outside, that’s exactly what hit that evening.

“Bet there’ll be snow on the mountain by morning,” Levy chirped from her blanket burrito. “Maybe enough to play in too.”

Lucy excitedly popped up from her textbook. “You guys get snow here?!”

“Yeah,” Levy chuckled. “I heard there’s even a skiing club on the island. When there’s a lot of snow people ski and snowboard up there.”

“Darn,” Lucy deflated in her seat, “if I’d have known, I would brought my board.”

“Tell ya what, if it turns out there’s snow I’ll get Gray to take us up in his truck.”

“But I don’t have my board.”

“Don’t worry,” Levy winked. “We’ll show you the island style.”

The storm lasted for two more days, so no one could really see what was going on above the clouds. But according to the observatory’s on top of Mauna Kea, snow was in fact building on the mountaintop. The question became how much? It was finally on the third day, that the sun came back and clouds disappeared, when Lucy got her first glimpse of snow in Hawaii. She could see the mountain clear as day from the third floor of the UCB building on campus.

“Natsu! Natsu!” Lucy ran up to him as he was existing his last class of the day. “Did you see?!” She squealed and pointed towards the mountain. “It’s covered!!” Natsu Dragneel was best friends with the girls other friend Gray Fullbuster. Lucy had met both men in classes at the university her Freshman year and since they were local to the area, they often took the girls to see places around the island.

He laughed with a smile. “Yeah, I saw it.”

“Levy said maybe Gray can take us in his truck?”

“I’ll ask him, probably could go tomorrow morning as long as the road is open.”

“They close the road?”

“Just until they can make sure it’s safe to drive it.”

“Yay!! I can’t wait!”

At 7 am the following morning, Lucy and Levy piled into Gray’s Toyota Tacoma truck along with Natsu and headed up the mountain. The drive would take about an hour to get to the visitor center, where they’ll be required to acclimate for an additional hour before moving onto the summit. When they arrived, Lucy was absolutely in aww, the snow had come all the way down to the center, blanketing the building in white fluff.

They got out of the truck and Lucy played the typical tourist, fawning over the gorgeous view. With a cloudless, light blue sky above them, they could see a great distance down the mountain and it was amazing! The parking lot was already half full of other park goers ready to take advantage of the snowy opportunity.

“Come on,” Natsu prompted Lucy into the center. “They’ve even got souvenirs if you’d like a memento.”

Lucy smiled, a light blush coating her wind swept cheeks. He knew her too well already. “Thanks.”

The hour passed by quickly at the center, with the friends eating a breakfast they’d packed along with purchases like hot chocolate at the center. And yes, Lucy purchased a couple of souvenirs, including a picture frame to commemorate the day. She really wished she had her snowboard, but just being able to hang out with her friends was enough for her. Maybe they could even have a snowball fight!

As they piled back into the truck for the last leg of the journey, Lucy noticed something in the bed of the truck. She laughed. “Boogie boards?! Are you serious?”

“I told you we do it Island style here,” Levy laughed too. “Sometimes we just bring inner tubes. Trust me, it’s just like sledding and fun.”

The last time Lucy had gone sledding she was 7 years old, but of course those sleds were built for snow and the children’s type had something to hang onto. These did not. Well, guess she’ll just have to trust they know what they’re doing. As for the drive, this portion of the road was both a little scary and amazing. It had been cleared but still icy, so everyone crawled along the skinny road, giving Lucy a chance to stare out the window and take pictures.

“Oh, wow theres some trippy rock formations,” she mumbled.

“Huh?” Natsu turned to see what Lucy was talking about. “Oh, yeah, that’s like layers of old lava rock or something.”

“The colors are beautiful.” Some had an oily sheen, brownish-reds and golds in horizontal waves along the rock faces. Yup, Lucy was definitely glad they brought her here.

Gray drove until he found a decent spot to park that was close to the heaviest snow areas, yet away from the majority of crowds. Families with children stayed closer to the scattered observatories or where the snow would not be as difficult for children to maneuver in. Lucy even noted some trucks were simply shoveling snow into their beds. She was told many took the snow back down the mountain for those who couldn’t make it up.

“Stay away from any pink or yellow spots in the snow,” Gray warned.

“Pink?” Lucy asked in confusion. Yellow she figured out but why pink?”

The man shrugged, “sometimes it looks pink up here.”

“Weird,” She laughed but carried on, helping to grab a boogie board. The guys had brought enough for each of them.

They climb up a decent sized hill, trudging through the snow. It wasn’t too deep, and actually it was a bit icier than Lucy was expecting but not too bad yet. She couldn’t lie that she’d hoped for powdery snow, but this was better than nothing. After a quick group selfie, Natsu started explaining how to use the boogie board.

“We hold onto the leash to steer and use our feet as brakes. Since it’s just a short hill, you probably won’t pick up too much speed where you won’t be able to stop yourself.”

“Okay, I think I got it...” Lucy gripped onto the edge of the board as she looked down the hill. Snowboarding never made her nervous, but this did. She wasn’t used to having such a short area to move in, and definitely didn’t wanna think about running out of snow to slide on.

“If you’re nervous, I could go with you till you feel more comfortable,” Natsu suggested.

That brought a new flutter and wave of heat back to her cheeks. The board could fit two people sitting on it, if she was practically on his lap!

“It was just an offer, you don’t have to—.”

“N-No, thank you. That might be a good idea, for at least the first time so you can show me what to do.”

Both Lucy and Natsu hadn’t noticed the silence coming from their friends who stood on the side whispering and snickering through the unfolding scene. Levy had even pulled out her phone ready to record the event. They watched the pair settle the board onto the snow, Natsu digging it in to keep it still a moment as he got on first, then directed Lucy to sit between his legs with her feet on the board for now. He then had her grab the leash where he was holding it, and placed his other arm around her waist for security.

“I got ya,” he whispered near her ear.

She swallowed thickly, his heat was radiating against her body and suddenly the cool air of the mountain had disappeared. “O-Okay.”

“All you gotta do is watch how I use my feet to break at the end and have fun. Ready?”

“R-Ready.”

Natsu used his feet to scoot them initially, then let gravity do the rest. The pair slide down the hill, picking up a decent rate of speed, not too fast, just right. Lucy screamed in elation, this was so much fun! It was only a short distance and Natsu easily dug his feet into the snow to bring them to a stop. Her heart was beating rapidly from the exhilarating ride and she was still giggling after they’d come to a full stop.

“Did you like that?” Natsu chuckled and got off, holding his hand out to help Lucy to her feet.

Lucy looked up and blushed, then took his hand. “Yes, a lot more than I’d expected to.”

Once she stood up the pair pause, breathing slowing, as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Natsu’s hold on Lucy’s hand tightens. Her heart fluttered, spellbound at the handsome smiling face, and rosy cheeks from wind burn. Natsu’s smile always captured her like a siren pulling her in. He brushed a stay lock of hair from her face, causing her to gasp lightly.

“Finally!”

“Just kiss her already!”

With the spell broken, the pair look up the hill to see their friends laughing, and Levy holding up her phone, pointing to it. Lucy giggled, they were totally busted, but a long time in the making. Who would have thought that a snow capped mountain in the middle of a tropical island would break the unrequited stalemate.

Natsu turned Lucy’s face back to him, tipped up her chin, and lowers to within an inch of her lips, “may I?”

“Yes, please...”

Bonus picture of a couple of kids on the mountain with boogie boards I found online. But yes, lol we have snow in Hawaii 🙃

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Hello! Love your blog. I was wondering if I could get some typing help? I have a general idea of what I am, but that’s not saying much since I have a tendency to hop between a few of them (INTJ, ENTJ, ESTJ specifically). Either way, hopefully you can help me settle it.

I’m 22 and about to graduate from college. It’s been a journey, because I’ve transferred twice and changed plans a few times, but that’s the proper college experience, I think. One transfer closer to home can be owed to depression and Covid, while the first was simply me not meshing with the campus. I’m not too worried about how it’ll affect my grad school apps due to good grades and valid reasons.

Despite the schooling-related indecision, I tend to get an idea of what I want, then fixate on it heavily. Example: I recently tried to publish a novel I’ve been working on for years now. Realistically, I know the odds of getting your first work published and making enough money to start a career on it are beyond low, but a big part of me thought “yeah, except I worked on this draft consistently all these months and this feels right, so it has to pay off” – of course, it didn’t. That’s not to say it wasn’t worth it, but I’ve come to accept it won’t be that easy, so I’m going to focus on a job with more security first lol. That means proceeding with law school. Some friends might think I’m selling my soul by putting my dreams on the back burner. I disagree, though, because if writing is meant to be I can still make it happen this way but with more security. Plus, I’m used to having some higher objective to motivate me through each day, and I don’t like feeling aimless. To me, that would be settling for less: wasting time working next to minimum wage at some place I can’t see myself staying.

I’d like to think of myself as spontaneous despite knowing I’m really not. When I’m with friends, maybe, but I’m more than happy to do nothing on Friday nights, knowing I’ll be able to wake up early tomorrow and do whatever I’m doing at a decent time. That being said, I would be happy to hop on a flight across the world if someone offered to pay the way. I love travel, so I’d hope to find a career that makes that possible. The same goes for whatever work I’m doing. Ideally, I could move from place to place as I do my job, because I fear being rooted will keep me from seeing everything I’d like to see.

I’m definitely an introvert dichotomy wise, but if group work appears, I’m happy to make a plan and remind everyone when a due date is near, and I expect them to follow through or provide some forewarning. I’m not outright nasty when someone inevitably slips up, but I’m not going to give them an excuse either. Can’t relate since I’ve never had a problem with procrastination. Like, I’d say I’m procrastinating, but to me procrastinating is choosing not to get ahead on the project due next week while I have spare time now. That makes me sound like a robot or a liar, but I’m mostly just very aware of my limitations and have learned how to manage work in a way that keeps me from having to stress.

I have no idea how to end this. Quick notes? I’m ambitious but not competitive – literally cannot relate to envy, because I don’t think someone having something means you can’t have it too – you just have to work on/for it. I’m not very curious lmao. Like, I’m as curious as the average person, but I don’t care about how things work (Ti slacking?). Uhh, fandoms annoy me. Like, seeing fans distort characters and needlessly project onto them in cringe ways makes my brain itchy. I’ve been called insensitive. I can easily cut someone off after finding, for a fact, that they’re being manipulative. Whatever baggage they have, I don’t care. I don’t see the point in fighting for a relationship when a “friend” is working against you. I’m also the “advice friend” because I don’t have drama and seem to know how to diffuse it easily or cut it out completely. Now that I think about it, all of my closest friends have a lot of anxiety, so maybe I collect them and care for them a little since I have none.

Hopefully that wasn’t too much useless info. I think I’m mainly struggling on differentiating between lower Ne vs Lower Se. My indecision comes in rare bouts, so maybe that’s the weak Ne manifesting. Or maybe I’m lower Se for forgetting the larger scheme by focusing on material things like getting to travel and making a high salary? Whatever. These are things most people prioritize, though. Let me know if you need any specifics. Also, thank you for taking the time to read this! I really appreciate how informative your blog is and all the resources you share.

Hi anon,

To be honest I am really not sure based on this, and it might be good for you to revisit this after a little bit of time out of school. I would rule out the Ti-Fe axis, but I can actually see arguments for either high Te or high Fi My guess is high Ni if you have high Te you don't really sound like a high Si user - and part of what is tripping me up the most is that you said a lot of things that make me thing of high Fi and the spontaneity of Se or Ne, but there's a lot here that really sounds intuitive but distinctly not like an Ne user. So I actually think there are arguments for either INTJ or ISFP, and I actually lean a little more towards "ISFP with good discipline/time management" than INTJ.

Here's my thought process, which hopefully can get you started.

I do feel like transferring twice is a little abnormal (not bad, just more than the typical college experience of maybe one transfer and changing one's major once or twice) but COVID did fuck with things more than usual so no conclusions there.

The fixation on writing a novel and the long-shot of gaining enough success to focus on that full time - particularly right out of school or even before graduation - is either intuitive or possibly high Fi. I really do not think an ESTJ would have that idea - not that they wouldn't be a writer, but I don't think they would have had the same expectations surrounding payoff and would have assumed from the start that this will not be their career initially. For that matter I have my doubts on ENTJ, but it could be possible for INTJ.

The part about spontaneity actually fits really well with auxiliary Se or Ne, in that those types at your age will have moderation from Ni or Si respectively and will often want a combination of stability but also the ability to travel a lot and move around. The example you gave actually still seemed very spontaneous; a lot of ExTJs for example might really dislike doing nothing on a Friday night and would instead have something planned. What you describe sounds very go-with-the-flow, just in a low-key way.

The part about procrastination indicates that Ne is probably off the table but Se is possible; some SPs are pretty good at being realistic about getting things done and it sounds like you don't have the high Te motivation of "I must get this done early" (not that high Te users can't procrastinate or do things on time but not down-to-the-wire).

I often tie ambition/competitive nature to enneagram more than MBTI, but I will say a lot of Te users and especially Te-doms tend to be both. They don't have to be (and if they're only one, usually it's ambition over competition), but it's pretty common. Curiosity is complicated but not caring about how literally everything works does seem like it would rule out Ti and I'd fully agree there. The part about being frustrated by fandom distortion of characters is relatable to me and I feel that comes from a place of sensing, ie, were you not paying attention to canon, so that seems like a point towards high Se for you. The parts about advice and interpersonal relationships mostly just reinforce that you sound more like someone on the Fi-Te axis, which you already suspected, but again...being the advice friend, particularly from a caring position, seems more high Fi to me than INTJ; a lot of IxTJs (and definitely ExTJs) at your age are just not emotionally ready for that level of patience with anxiety. I know I wasn't.

I would also say focusing on the material things (travel, a liveable salary) is more in line with higher Se! Te users do have a measure of pragmatism, so again, can't rule out INTJ, but the travel especially is what's making me think Se is pretty high in your stack.

All in all? My guess is an ISFP with good time management skills, possibly with an enneagram 6 adding to the stability/pragmatism. That said I wouldn't totally rule out INTJ (possibly also enneagram 6?); I just think it's less likely.

[misfit-among-the-angels]

Adventures in Prague

Word count:6105 Genre: Smut, but with like plot and romantic stuff. Pairing: Tobias Sammet x Reader Warnings: Smut Summary: Reader is a photographer for Avantasia and also Tobi's gf and the band has a concert and then a day off in Prague. And there are some adventures and fun stuff to be had.

You also can find this on Archive of our own.

A/N:I think that this fanfic is like my come back to writing fanfics lol. It took me like 3 months to write it and it's really different from the other ones I've written. This one was proofread by my friend ♥♥ P.S. I've never played Fifa so if it's incorrect I'm so sorry.

Another night, another concert. Usually it’s like that, but not this time. This time we’re anticipating an off day in the beautiful city of Prague. Just one more concert night.

I don’t dare whine even a tad bit to Tobi because I know that his job is harder and is more tiring than mine, but I can’t help showing how excited I am that we’ll have an off day exactly in this city.

My camera’s battery is fully charged and ready, lenses that I’ll need are unpacked, and I am ready for another three and a half hours of work. Tonight, Tobi seems to be in an extra good mood, probably because he loves performing in Czech Republic so much. I know that my job is to capture the best moments of the concert, but I can’t help smiling when Tobi or one of the other guys tells a joke. I mainly stay by the stage, but a few times I go to the backstage to rest a bit or to capture some moments from a different perspective. I don’t forget the fans either. I know, I’m mainly a band photographer, but capturing emotions of the fans is a good thing as well. Tobi seems to have upped his posing game for this show, or maybe it’s just me. I haven’t had more intimate moments with him for a while. Kissing or hugging doesn’t count. But enough whining. Every time Tobi spots me or comes to one side of the stage where I am and starts his silly poses, I can’t help but feel a bit hot. I smile as I take pictures. A few times he lets his tongue out for a picture, and I hear some fans screaming louder. Yes, fans do love that. Of course, I also take pictures of the other Avantasia guys. They pose less, but that’s okay for me. It makes my job more interesting.

Finally, the show is almost over. I go up on stage and take pictures of the band and the fans. Then my job for today is over, and I can go back to the hotel. Sometimes I hang around the backstage to take more pictures, but today I am done. All I want is a hot shower and bed. And Tobi of course, ehehe. I get to the hotel first. It’s a public secret between the band that I am with Tobi, so of course we share a room. I take all my clothes off except for my underwear, then turn on my laptop and let all my pictures be transferred to it. Then I jump in the shower.

Later, Tobi comes in and finds me all comfortable in bed with my laptop, quickly editing pictures. We smile at each other. I can see that he is tired. He surely gave his all tonight, and I’m not surprised that he goes for the shower straight away. After a good thirty minutes he comes out and flops beside me on the bed. I look at him and suddenly I get this strong craving. I think I know where it came from. I also know that he won't fall asleep right away, no matter how tired he is. Adrenaline from the show hasn't worn off just yet. So I put down my laptop and get closer to him. He finally opens his eyes and looks at me. “Want cuddles?”

“Always.” I giggle a bit. “But first, let me take care of you. Let me do something that will make you feel good.”

I see him wanting to protest and quickly put my finger on his lips. “I know, it's not what you think it is, and like I said, please, let me take care of you. You won't need to do anything. Just lie here, relax, and enjoy.”

He knows me, and he knows my sex drive, which can be high, and, sadly, when he is touring he is usually too tired to have some intimate time, even if we are in a hotel. Of course, his sex drive acts up too, but he can ignore it. I, on the other hand, really struggle with that, and sometimes I have to take care of it myself if I'm not fast asleep. It's kinda frustrating, but tour life is tour life - he warned me about this. Probably that's why the other guys leave their significant others at home. Of course, Tobi could have decided to choose someone else as a band photographer, but I guess his emotions got the better of him, and he chose me. And I was glad to be included into this happy family on the road. I don’t wait for his response, but I know that even though he is tired, he is also curious about what I'll do. I straddle him and start kissing his face. Nose, cheeks, forehead, and finally his lips. He giggles and smiles at the kisses. I let myself kiss him for some time. I always love kissing him, and lucky for me he loves kissing just as much. I break the kiss, then kiss down his jaw to his neck. I give his neck so many kisses until I am down to his shoulders. Then I move to his chest and keep slowly moving downwards. He sighs and makes some quiet noises. I feel his relaxed heartbeat and smile against his skin. I feel myself getting aroused even though I didn't do anything yet. I smell the shower gel, but also his natural scent comes through it, and it makes my head spin. So I have to remind myself that it's all about him. I move down to his stomach and feel his stomach muscles flex at my kisses. He has a towel around his hips, and I take it away and continue to kiss his body even lower. I kiss his thighs, then stop and just run my hands down his body. I look up, and from his face I can see that he is relaxed and content. I briefly wonder what he is thinking about. Probably me. I slightly smirk. I was soft, but now the urge to make him moan and come is taking over. I’m not taking my eyes off his face as I lightly run my fingers up and down his cock. I know he wasn’t expecting this, and his surprise is clear on his face. Without any pressure, I rub his tip with my thumb a bit. He makes a sound. I stroke him more, but after a few minutes I can’t help myself and lean down, taking his tip into my mouth and just sucking on it as my hand slowly strokes him.

“Oh, yesss!” he moans lightly and smiles. I keep my eyes on him, and his sexy reaction makes me smile internally as well. I swirl my tongue all around and listen to his sounds. This is one of the most effective ways to make him hard pretty quickly. And it seems it’s working magic. That’s the advantage I can take because I know that he hasn’t been sexually active for a few weeks. So he’ll be desperate to come, and oh, if it would be a different situation, I’d tease him long and hard. But now, I got him almost all hard already. His hips twitch a bit and I know it’s time for something he always loves so much. I take my hand away and slowly take him all in and as deep as I can.

“Ohhh, fuckkk..,” he moans louder and I feel goosebumps appearing on my skin. He looks so sexy like this – mouth a bit open, his head leaning back on the pillow. I moan too. When I’m sure I have him all the way I stop a bit, letting myself drool a bit too. I feel one of his hands tangling in my hair. Oh, this is perfect! I slowly move my head back up, creating this slow rhythm. Now he moans more often, though not as loud. I think he keeps in mind that we are in a hotel and the walls are thin. I close my eyes, not noticing him actually opening his eyes and looking at me. I hear him murmur something in German, probably some endearments or so. I smile internally at that. I moan a couple of times too, both to create some nice vibrations for him and, of course, because I enjoy this just as much as he is.

After some time, I move my head faster and now he tugs my hair more. I hollow my cheeks and hum a bit to give him the best experience and oh, that pays off wonderfully. “Oh, you are such a good girl,” he praises me and caresses my hair. I really can't help but moan. He knows how much I like being called that. I feel his hand that’s in my hair shiver a bit, and I can tell that he won't last long. I slow down again and every time I move my head up, I run my tongue over his tip and then slowly take him deep. I open my eyes to look at him, and he is biting his arm to not be so loud. But I can still hear noises and moans, and I wish I could hear them all normally. But of course we don't want any weird looks or complaints. One of these times when I take him deep, I feel his hand pushing down on me, then I hear him moan wordlessly and feel him coming down my throat. I swallow it all. After a few seconds, I feel his body and hand relax, and I slowly take him out. I look at him. He is breathing hard and has a happy smile on his face.

“That was amazing,” he says, sounding sleepy.

I smile. “I told ya. I just wanted to take care of you, and I'm glad you enjoyed it so much”. I kinda wonder if I should bring up that I'm hella aroused now. But seeing him so sleepy looking, I just can't bring that up. He needs to rest, and I can always get off on my own or just wait for tomorrow. I crawl up to him, give him a little peck on his lips, and get both of us under the covers. We cuddle up, and unsurprisingly Tobi falls asleep after about five minutes. I feel his relaxed body close to me and his arms around me, and I smile. The ache between my legs is almost unbearable, but soon I feel tired too. I force myself to calm down, and soon I follow him into the dream realm.

It's an off day, and we are definitely catching up on sleep, but just a bit. I had an alarm set from yesterday and it goes off at 10am. I wake up immediately to turn it off and yawn. I hear sleepy noises from Tobi and smile. I hate mornings, and even though we had a really nice and long sleep, I could still use some more hours of sleep. “Morning, lovebird.” I hear his sleepy voice in my ear and giggle. Then I turn around to see his totally cute face.

“Morrrrrrrning,” I intentionally roll my r's and giggle more. He hugs me close to him and kisses me. Looks like someone's in a good and loving mood. I wonder why… I kiss him back and run my hands on him. This really wakes me up and my body as well. Oh, how I wish I could have some intimacy now, but that impossible. In thirty minutes we’ll have breakfast, and then who knows what we'll think of. I feel his hand playing with my hair, and I smile between kisses. After we satisfy our kiss needs, I just smush my face into his chest and hug him more. He giggles and starts drawing patterns on my back with his fingers. I feel goosebumps on my skin and shiver a bit. By now he knows me and my body so well that he can tell what I crave and want. After a few minutes though he pokes my side which makes me twitch a bit.

“I know what you want, but we have breakfast to attend to, and we don’t wanna be late”.

I look up at him and pout, but he gives me a kiss on my cheek as a silent apology. I sigh and disentangle from him. As he is getting up, I can’t help myself and give his ass a slap. He giggles and shows me his tongue. I giggle too. We are happy because we love each other and because we can be silly. I stretch and then get up too.

On band off days I usually get an off day too. Sometimes I go and take some pictures of the other guys, and sometimes I just go explore by myself if Tobi feels too tired or wants to hang out with others. This time though I’m spending it with Tobi. After breakfast, we decide to have a walk. I promised to take him to a few cool places, and I also agreed that we won’t take too long because he wants to rest at the hotel and play some video games. I am more than okay with this because I love video games as well.

Of course, I’m bringing my camera with us. It’s such a good opportunity to take some pictures of the city. And of Tobi, too.

It’s a nice and warm spring day, and we find ourselves in the city centre.

“Can we keep away from the main streets and go somewhere with fewer people? I don’t really want to meet any fans, you know”.

“Oh, sure,” I smile to him. “I know this little nice pub that we have to visit, and then I want to take you to another really cool place”. I take my phone out to see where we actually are and how we can get to where I want us to be. We walk away from the centre, and Tobi seems happy and looks around when we turn onto a small unknown street. I point out interesting houses or pretty architecture. A few times we stop because I see something cool and want to take a picture, and then we stop some more because Tobi wants me to photograph him near this house or that one. It’s nice like this. A few times he insists on taking a selfie or two with me. We don’t really talk too much, but that’s okay because I'm taking in the vibe of the city. As for him, I think his coffee still hasn’t kicked in. I look at him and can't help but smile. My heart is full of joy and love and happiness. So I "secretly" take some pictures of him when he isn't looking my way. I want to freeze this moment so I can always look at these pictures and remember how I was feeling, and of course to show him how lovely he looks when he isn't posing for the picture.

My knowledge of the city and the ability to orient myself in it finally lets us arrive at the cute little pub. I stop and wait until he comes to me and says “well then, show me around. You know this place better than I do”.

I smile and lead him into the pub. Inside there isn't much room to sit. We greet the bartender, and then I lead Tobi out to this nice backyard where there are more tables to sit at. We choose one that's closest to us and sit down. “This place is also a hotel. I've stayed here once. It's a nice, quiet place”.

Tobi looks around. I see him opening his mouth to say something, but then the waitress comes to us and gives us a menu. We both love Czech beer, so we choose the same one, and as a snack we get ourselves some nachos. As we wait for our food and beer, we both get on our phones, not because we don't enjoy each other's company, but because it's the first time today we both get to check on things. Soon our beer arrives followed by the nachos, and we dig in.

“You know, after this tour is over, we need to come back here for vacation,” I’m taking the last pieces of nachos. “I understand that you might want to be at home and get some rest, but I’m sure a week spent here won’t hurt”.

Tobi takes a few sips of his beer. “I guess you are right. I like it here. I like the atmosphere and the feeling this city has”. I smile when he talks and drink my beer.

We talk more about things that we’re gonna do after the tour ends. I’ve been planning to move to live with him, so we talk about that as well. Talking about all things except our jobs is good.

We finish our beers and pay for everything. “Now where to? Our hotel?” Tobi asks.

“Nah, I wanna show you this amazing church and the park outside of it, and I just want to spend some time there with you.”

“Church you say, huh? Is this a hint about you wanting to marry me?” he grins.

I can’t help but giggle. “Well, maybe it is” — I show him my tongue — “but you know, you have to propose to me first.” As an answer he just wiggles his eyebrows. Being silly like this is the best.

After a good half hour we reach one of many bridges. As we are crossing it, I point to my right. “See, that’s the church I was talking about. It looks badass.”

He looks that way, and I can tell he likes what he sees. “It looks a bit sinister, but I like it!”

I smile and sneak my over hand to his and take it. At first, I can tell he is hesitant, but then he takes my hand too and oh, I’m sooo happy. He loves holding hands, but usually does it when we are in private or somewhere without many people, and on tour it’s just a no-no. But it seems he gave in this time, maybe because nobody is really paying attention to us. I love holding hands and this thing of his kinda makes me sad, but I understand him.

We cross the bridge and choose to walk on the quay. So peaceful, so nice. A few times I have to take my hand away because I want to take some pictures of the Vltava river. A few other times I ask him to sit down and take some great shots of him. Once I sit beside him, and after I take the pictures, I just can’t help myself and kiss him. He’s surprised but pleased. I don’t know why, but after that kiss I giggle and blush and feel more in love with him than ever.

Finally, we reach the hill and the church on top of it. I speak. “Ready? It’s not gonna be so hard because it’s not so hot”.

He gives me a nod, and we start climbing up. It’s a nice place, some sort of park, and as we’re going up the noises of the city slowly go away. We see some park benches, and I take a mental note to sit here when we’re going back.

We are at the top, looking at this beautiful church. I kinda wanna go inside as I’ve never been inside it, but then we hear some sounds from the inside and decide to just look around. I take some pictures and then point to the cemetery next to the church. “This cemetery is really pretty. C’mon, let’s look around”.

But Tobi shakes his head and says “maybe next time. If we can’t go inside that church, then let’s go back”. I pout a little but say nothing and follow him downhill. As we are halfway, I spot a bench and run to it and sit. “Come here! It’s a nice place to chill!”

I really picked a good spot because the city panorama is before our eyes as we sit. I place my head on his shoulder and say nothing, just enjoying this little moment. Tobi looks at me and smiles. We both look at the beautiful city before our eyes for some time, and then I take one of his hands and start playing with his fingers. Eventually he leans his head on mine.

“You know, I’m so glad to have you in my life, and I know I say this a lot to you, but really, you mean so much to me, and I can honestly imagine being with you for all of eternity…” I’m almost whispering, but I know he hears me perfectly. “I know that sometimes you struggle with voicing out your feelings, but you make me happy, and you always make me find more reasons to be in love with you even more. Even if it’s your stupid jokes or random noises or anything else.”

I pause for a bit because, damn, I’m feeling a bit emotional, but I know that he is smiling and he is listening, so I sigh and continue, “I know that maybe it’s a bit too early to talk about marriage, but let me just tell you that when we’ll be ready for that I’ll gladly say yes to you.” This is actually important because he knows that I don’t really like marriage, but if I’m saying this it means that he and me together is a big thing. He moves, and now we are looking at each other. I can see in his eyes that he is looking for the right words to voice out things he wants to say, but his eyes also tell me a lot.

He takes my hands in his. “I’m so happy to be reassured that this, us, is serious, and I’m also happy that somehow I changed your views on marriage. You make me happy, and I love you with my whole heart.” Then he leans in, and we kiss. And we kiss for a long time until we are both out of breath, and still our lips search out the way to kiss each other again. Moments like these are always my favourite. It doesn’t need words. We both feel the same, and we make it feel either through kissing or when we make love. It’s something I only discovered when I met him. Magical stuff. We kiss again, but it’s a shorter kiss this time. As we break away, we giggle as we both feel the same. We go back to the hotel holding hands all the way. I think this was the first time Tobi didn’t care if anyone might see.

Back in our hotel room, I change into more comfortable clothes while Tobi sets up the game. Of course it’s Fifa, his favourite game. I sit on the bed near him and take my controller.

He picks the team first and of course he picks Bayern. I poke him. “Hey, ladies first, you know.”

He looks at me with a grin. “Oops, I forgot that. But hey, it’s your turn now.”

I show him my tongue and pick Manchester United. I’m not as good at this game as he is, but I’ve beaten him a few times before, and now I’ll do the same.

“I’m tempted to let you win this time and you know why.”

“That would be soooo boring, but I’m sure I’ll beat you anyway.” I put on a confident look on my face. Tobi giggles, and the game starts, and his focus and mine are on it.

I’m not particularly competitive at the moment, but Tobi seems to be really into it even though it’s not even five minutes past when we started. He swears in German when the character he is playing fails to get the ball, and I can’t help but giggle. My focus shifts onto him, and I just admire how cute he looks when he is so into the game. I’m not even noticing that I’m basically just looking at him, so when he suddenly shouts “YES!” I jump a bit and look at the screen. He got the first goal.

Tobi looks at me. “Why didn’t you try to stop me? You could’ve tried at least.”

“Sorry, I got distracted a bit.”

“Distracted? By what? OH!” he looks at me again but with a grin now. “You got distracted by me, didn’t you?”

I roll my eyes a bit and blush but don’t say anything. The game progresses, and I get my first goal too. Bit by bit, my focus on the game is back. Soon I’m into the game just like Tobi is.

Three minutes left of this match, and we are both shouting at our characters, aaaaand “YESSSS!” I shout as my team gets another goal and wins the match.

I put down the controller and poke him. “Told ya that I’ll win.”

Tobi pouts for a second, but then he puts his controller down as well and launches at me and tackles me down on the bed. I wasn’t ready for this, so I only made a surprised sound as I found myself being down on the bed with him on top of me. He giggles and grins. “I might not be able to win that game this time, but I know another game which I’ll definitely win!”

I have no time to think what he has in mind because he starts to tickle me, going right for my weakest place, which is my sides. I laugh and squirm and wiggle. Trying my best to get out of it but failing. I grab one of his hands and try to take it away, but he is of course stronger than me. He takes my hand instead and pins it to the bed. I whine and squirm more. We look at each other as we know that we both have one free arm. I’m quicker and pull him into a kiss. Tobi is surprised maybe for a second, but then he relaxes and releases my hand as he kisses me back. I hug him immediately. This kiss is different from the last one though. This one is more passionate and communicates my need without me having to use words. But it seems he isn’t getting the hint because his hands just go to my hair. Usually when he understands what I want, he does something, like his hands starting to wander. I break the kiss, and I roll us to the side so now I’m on top of him. I know I wouldn’t be able to do this in any other situation, but now he is all relaxed and so easy to move. He looks at me with surprise and opens his mouth to say something, but I lean down and kiss him again. He immediately hugs me and just lets me do what I want. Soon, I break this kiss to kiss down his jaw and his neck. I ABSOLUTELY love giving his neck attention, and he loves it just as much. I kiss his neck all slowly and hear him sigh and make quiet noises. I smile against him. But how can I leave his neck without some marks? His neck looks wonderful with my marks. So I bite his neck in a few places, making sure to make pretty marks. He moans at the biting. His moans are such a big turn on that I can’t help but whine as I feel myself getting more and more aroused.

“I need you so much right now, my love,” I manage to say between all my whining and biting.

His response is his hands, moving them to the hem of my shirt. I get what he wants to do, so I straighten up and let him take it. My bra goes next. Then both his hands go to my breasts, massaging them and pinching the nipples. My whole body shivers and I can’t help but make noises. I try to grind but realize that we both still have our pants on, and I whine. He gets why I’m whining and fiddles with my pants’ buttons, and then his hands are back on my breasts. I smile at him and run my hands under his shirt, slightly scratching him when he pinches my nipples. But he gets the hint, and soon his hands leave my body to take off his shirt. I roll off of him and wrestle off my pants but leave my panties on. Then it’s time for his pants to go, and I help him with that. Finally, I straddle him once again. I am so turned on that I can’t help but shiver. I start grinding on him, and we both moan at the same time. I lean over to kiss him as I move my hands to his hair. I feel his hands moving to my ass and squeezing it and pushing it down on him. We go on like this for a bit, exchanging kisses and little moans and breaths.

“Fuck, I really need you inside me,” I whisper against his lips. I feel him shiver at my words.

“Yes, yes! I want it too.” His voice changes when he is aroused. It gets sexier. I smile and straighten up and move a bit lower and slide his underwear lower too. He takes his cock and holds it for me. I pull my panties to the side and sink down on him. We both moan loudly at this. We both needed it so much. When he is all the way in, I keep still for a minute enjoying how perfect he feels. He is doing the same.

“You are so beautiful, so hot when you are like this,” I hear Tobi say and then feel his hands on my hips, moving to my belly and then back up until he cups my breasts again. I smile so big. I’d blush, but my cheeks are already red.

I finally open my eyes and look at him with a smile. “You look hot and pretty like this too.” I find his hands and hold them as I start to move up and down. His hips thrust too, helping me. I look him in the eyes as we both create this slow pace. I moan a few times feeling how I’m falling into this realm where only this pleasure and the look in his eyes exist. He makes noises and moans too, and they are oh so delicious. Eventually we let go of each other’s hands, and mine rests on his chest, both as support and because I like feeling his skin and heartbeat. He moves his hands all over me, not really resting them anywhere for too long, and I love that. I move a tad bit faster and my head falls back a bit as I breathe out a moan.

“I wanna make you come so bad!” he says as one of his hands is already moving downwards.

“Oh, yes! Please…” I look at him, but then moan when his fingers touch my clit and start to slowly rub it. I close my eyes again. I’m noisier now, and with his fingers rubbing at me I can feel it coming faster.

“Oh, Tobi…” That’s all I manage as I feel it coming. He still keeps rubbing slowly, and I’m moving at the same pace too. The orgasm starts washing over me, and I arch my back and don’t hold back any moans or noises that escape my mouth. I stop moving too and just shiver. I slowly start to relax, and my hips twitch, and he finally stops rubbing me. I make quieter noises now and slowly open my eyes. I’m realizing that my nails dig a bit into his chest, so he’ll have some nail marks too. Finally, my eyes make the way up to his face, and I’m greeted with a smile.

“You were so beautiful. And so hot that you almost made me come too!” Our eyes meet, and we both know that this isn’t the end.

I smile and lean down and kiss him. The kiss communicates all the words I wanted to say. After a bit, he slowly moves his hips in small thrusts. I’m still sensitive and break the kiss to moan lightly, and I just rest my forehead on his. I feel his hands going up and down my back and sometimes squeezing my ass. He moans a lot more now, and I feel that he wants to go faster, but he is being gentle for me.

“I love you so much, Tobi,” I whisper and caress his hair.

He smiles big, and I feel his hands going around me in a hug. “Love you so much too. You feel so perfect. I missed this feeling…”

I kiss his lips briefly again and then settle for his neck. His hips snap faster and harder now, making me bite him and making him moan more.

“I am ready when you are ready”, I whisper in his ear and also buck my hips to match his thrusts. That makes him throw his head back more on the pillows.

“I’m close, my love”, he manages to say between all his noises and breathing. I raise my head to his, then bring my hand down between our bodies and start rubbing my clit again. Soon we are both moaning out each other’s names. I feel him squeezing me tight and coming in me which just makes me shiver more. Everything starts to wind down, and we both go limp. My head is in the crook of his neck, and his hands are loose but still around me. I don’t even care that I still have an arm in between us, and it’s not really comfortable. We both breathe heavily, and when he shivers feeling the afterglow, I shiver too.

I don’t know how long we stayed like this, but both of our senses start to come back to us and we almost simultaneously start giggling.

Tobi tries to speak first in between giggles. “I wonder if we’ll get away with how loud we were…” I bring my other arm back and then finally raise my head.

“Ah, who cares about that. This was AMAZING, and that’s all that matters.” I give him a giggly kiss.

After some more time, we finally disentangle. I still refuse to leave the bed so Tobi gets up first. I'm all satisfied and happy and even more happy seeing him strut around all naked. Finally he gets back from the bathroom.

"How and when did you manage to mark me up like this? Now I'll have to wear my scarfs even more," he pouts playfully.

I giggle before I can respond. "I'm not gonna be sorry for this. Your neck looks even prettier with all the marks. And besides, you wear your scarfs almost always anyway."

He only shows me his tongue, but doesn't say anything more. He knows I'm right, and secretly he likes that now his scarfs will hide a little secret of ours.

I use the bathroom too. We get dressed up and go to dinner with the other Avantasia guys. No one really questions why Tobi wears his scarf and no one says anything about what happened earlier. Either they don't know, or they know but don't say anything.

After the dinner, I leave Tobi hanging out with the guys, and I go back to the room as I feel really tired. This is the last day in Prague, so I pack my luggage. Before I go to bed, I look through the window at the lights of the city and daydream a bit. Suddenly I feel very familiar arms going around me, and I smile. Tobi's here. He hugs me from behind, and we stand like this for some time.

Back in bed and just before I fall asleep, I think about all that happened, and my heart once again fills up with love and joy. Then I cuddle up with him even more and fall asleep. Tomorrow we'll go back to Germany. The tour continues, but we both will remember Prague for a bit longer this time.

[bitchloveskcbaseball]

Payback ~~ Happy Birthday Burns!!!!!!!

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x Casey Valentine

Series: The Bones

Series Note: Just a small housekeeping note... Working on this got me thinking about the chronology of this series and I came to the realization that Flirt and, by extension, this fic, fit in better before Surprise, so I have changed my masterlist to reflect that.

Summary: Casey figures out how Bryce can pay up on an unsettled IOU. A follow-up to Flirt.

Word Count: 5170 (helluva way to break 6 months of writer’s block LOL)

Warnings: Language (if this ever doesn’t appear here, send help because something is seriously wrong with me lmao)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry

A/N: Happy Happy Birthday @burnsoslow!!! This is 100% written for you and 100% because of you!!!! You requested fluffy Bryce and Casey and this is me hoping I have given that to you!! What?!?!? Not me struggling to write fluff without adding in that dash of angst I’m so fond of LMAO

I literally don’t know if there are words enough to express just how much I love and appreciate you, but this is me attempting to find them anyway 💜💜 From my very first crazy message all those months ago I know I should have come with a warning label... it fell off during transport so I am so very sorry about that LMAO, I have felt so unbelievably lucky that I have been able to get to know you. You are one of the most supportive people I have ever met. You are so kind and caring and genuine. You are also the coolest badass with an insanely awesome sense of humor. I love how we totally lose our minds over sports -- especially football lol -- together is it Sunday yet? this wait is fucking killing me and my nerves are already through the damned roof LMAO But what I love even more than that is the way we can talk about everything in between too -- all the ups and downs of everyday life. I truly treasure your friendship so so much and I hope your birthday is as amazing as you are!!! Love you!!!!!!!

A/N #2: Thank you soooooo much @bbrandy2002 for reading over this for me and calming my nerves over this!!!!

“Yo, B!”

“Yeah, babe?”

“Remember that IOU you still haven’t paid up on?”

The slight hesitation in Bryce’s voice gave him away even as he lied, “Uh…no? What are you talkin’ bout?”

Raising an eyebrow even though he was in his bedroom while she was in the living room, Casey prodded, “Sure ya do, love. It was after you hit on that poor, new surgical nurse and you somehow ended up making a date with her. I went with you and helped smooth the situation over because your whiny ass was terrified of having all of the surgical nurses pissed at you.”

He skulked into the living room and plopped down on the couch with her so that his head was laying in her lap. She knew the look he was giving her – hair flopped down just over his eyebrow while he was looking up through his lashes at her – was entirely deliberate as he muttered, “I thought maybe you’d decided that that whole fiasco was punishment enough.”

“Not even close, Bryce. I literally had to go explain to that poor girl that you were in a relationship with me while simultaneously making sure that she didn’t think you were a creep or a two-timing asshat. I deserve to get something outta that shit.”

“Ugh. Ok… fine. So…what kind of torture am I about to endure?”

Casey tried to shove Bryce’s head off of her lap, but he just wrapped his left arm around her back and laughed at her attempt. “You are impossible, you know this?”

“Yet you love me anyway.”

“Sometimes I really wonder why, though.”

He ran his hand lightly up under her shirt along her side, stopping when his thumb was able to brush the skin just below her bra. Just that simple touch was enough to have Casey’s breath catching and a self-satisfied smirk spread across his face. “Do you need a refresher course, Case?”

Summoning up all the inner strength she could find, Casey bit back the moan bubbling up the back of her throat and rolled her eyes exaggeratedly at him. “No, Bryce, I don’t. I know all about those magic hands” – another eye roll for emphasis – “of yours. Don’t think you are going to distract me into forgetting what this conversation is about.”

Bryce huffed out a sigh through the deep pout that had settled over his face and she had to bite the inside of her lip to keep a smile from breaking out over her own. She waited a few beats until he finally dropped his hand back down so it was resting against her hip before quirking an eyebrow up and leveling him with her best are-you-shitting-me stare. “Do you really think that you shouldn’t have to pay up after that bullshit, Bryce?”

“Ugh. Of course I know that I owe you for that. I was just… hoping that you would take pity on me and not cash it in.”

“I swear, sometimes it’s like you’ve never even met me before.”

A streak of pain shot across his face so quickly that if she hadn’t been watching him so closely, if she didn’t know him so well, she would have never even picked up on it. But she had and she did and it sent a stab of guilt rocketing through her so strongly, she almost tossed aside the ruse that she had taken so much care in plotting out. Rather than changing course completely, however, she opted for a slight detour to reassure him instead. “Love, you know I was only joking.” When Bryce tried to interrupt, she placed an index finger over his lips to silence him while she ran the fingers of her other hand soothingly through his hair. “You know me better than anyone in this world ever has. Ever will. Okay?”

Bryce’s eyes had slipped closed, a soft smile turning the corners of his lips up, as she spoke and Casey couldn’t help but trace her finger across his eyelids and then down across his lips. When she got to the middle of his lower lip, his lips parted and he gently nipped at the tip of her finger. The sudden move startled a breathless laugh from her and when she met his eyes again, they were full of mischief.

Shaking her head good-naturedly at him, she was about to scold him – playfully – when Bryce mirrored her earlier gesture and placed a finger across her lips. “I give, alright? Just take mercy on me and tell me what kind of penance I’m about to pay.”

“Do you always have to be so damned dramatic?”

“Case…”

“Fine! I need you to drive me to a meeting tomorrow morning.”

“Is … that it? Just a ride?”

Confusion knit his brows together and instinctively Casey ran her fingertips between and over them to soothe the wrinkles away before whispering, “Yes and no.” Shaking her head slightly to get herself back on track, she added, “It’s going to require fighting rush-hour traffic to get downtown” – his groan brought a smile to her lips – “and I… I would like you to go in with me.”

“Seriously? You are dragging me down there in that bullshit and making me sit through some boring meeting with you?”

“As a matter of fact, I am.” Cocking a defiant eyebrow at him, Casey challenged, “Is that a problem?”

Feeling more than hearing the sigh he huffed out, Casey bit back a laugh at the look of horror on Bryce’s face that was ruined by the humor dancing in his eyes. “I do this and then we’re even, right?” When she nodded her agreement, he let out a melodramatic groan before finally muttering, “Fine. I’ll do it.”

Twelve hours later, Casey was struggling to decide whether she was going to join Bryce in cussing out the idiot drivers that seemed to be out in full force on their morning commutes or start laughing hysterically at his outbursts. After chancing a glance at him out of the corner of her eye and seeing the tight lines of frustration and irritation marring his beautiful expression, Casey instead decided to try and lighten his tension.

Reaching over to gently pull his right hand off of the steering wheel while they were once again stopped after only moving half a foot on the freeway, she laced their fingers together. When Bryce didn’t even glance in her direction, she had to bite back the brief flare of hurt, reminding herself that he wasn’t deliberately trying to hurt her. Seeing that the traffic was probably going to be at a standstill for a bit longer, Casey carefully leaned across the console to place a quick, gentle kiss to his cheek before whispering in his ear, “Thank you so much for doing this with me. I…I really didn’t want to have to do this alone.” With her nerves getting the better of her and realizing how much she could be setting herself up for humiliation, or worse, she couldn’t bite back the honest admission.

Before she could settle back into her seat, Bryce tightened his fingers around hers where their hands were resting against his thigh. Finally turning to look at her, his eyes fell to her lips as he murmured, “C’mere.”

Despite her half-hearted, at best, protest of, “But the traffic,” Casey found herself leaning back in to press her lips against his. Although the kiss was incredibly brief, it was also soft and sweet, managing to settle the nerves she hadn’t expected to be feeling.

When she was once again situated properly in her seat, Bryce brought their linked hands up so that he could press a kiss to the back of hers. "You know, you never did tell me what all this is about.”

Forcing a calmness into her voice that she didn’t quite feel, Casey feigned innocence on a gasped, “Oh, I didn’t?”

“No, babe. You didn’t. So… you gonna tell me what’s got you so nervous this morning?”

He wasn’t supposed to notice that!

Fumbling for what she could say to mollify him without giving up what was about to go down, Casey was relieved when she noticed both that traffic was moving once again and that their exit was coming up in just over a mile. “Hey love, this next exit is ours.”

Somehow giving her a side-eye while still keeping his focus on merging into the needed lane, Bryce muttered, "I know what you’re doing.”

Her heart leapt into her throat, out of both anxiousness and frustration that her plan was blown but before she could respond, he added, “You’re trying to avoid answering my question by giving me directions.”

That pulled a genuine laugh out of her and she couldn’t help but sass, “Oh, yes. I’m only telling you how to get to our destination as an avoidance tactic. Not because I want to… oh, I dunno, get there on time, or anything.”

Bryce’s lips twitched and she knew he was trying to fight back a smile, but he remained silent for the rest of the drive, allowing her to navigate them to the parking garage that she was told to utilize on her last phone call with the receptionist.

He turned to her with the most intense puppy-dog look he’d given her to date after parking and practically whined, “Are you seriously gonna force me to sit through whatever this is after making me face rush hour?”

Fighting back her dismay by reminding herself that he didn’t know why they were downtown so he couldn’t be rejecting her, Casey schooled her expression into one of annoyance. “She cried, Bryce. You embarrassed that poor girl so bad that she was fucking bawling. And you got saved by that damned pager of yours, so I had to comfort and reassure her all by myself.”

He at least had the grace to look ashamed at that as he held his hands up in defeat. “Okay. Okay. I get it. No more complaints from me.”

“Good. Now let’s go before I’m late.”

Fully expecting Bryce to still be pouting, Casey was slightly surprised when he was waiting for her at the back of his car, his arm outstretched towards her with a soft smile on his face. She tried to take his hand, but he encouraged her to wrap her arm around his waist as he wrapped his around her shoulders and settled her in against his side instead. Before they took off towards the elevator bank, he dropped a kiss to the top of her head and whispered into her hair, “I’m sorry I’ve been such a baby about this, Case. Even if I didn’t owe you for that, which I definitely do, I’d be here for you. I’ll always be here for you.”

Resisting the urge to growl at him for being so damned sweet when she was trying to torture him, she squeezed his side and laid her head on his shoulder. “I know you are, B.”

“Okay then. Let’s get this shit over with. Whatever this shit is.”

“Ugh, don’t worry about it. You’ll know here soon enough.”

After making their way into the huge office building just down the street from the parking garage and up the elevator to the twentieth floor, the couple were standing in front of the office of the realtor that Casey had been talking to for the last few weeks, unbeknownst to Bryce. The minute that they came to a stop, still wrapped in each other’s arms, she could feel the tension flood his body and wondered for the hundredth time if using this as payback was a good idea. Still, she steeled herself, knowing she would never be able to come up with a different plan that would be satisfactory enough to fulfill this particular IOU.

“Casey?”

“Yeah?”

There was an unmistakable hint of panic in his voice as he asked, “This is where your meeting is?”

“Yeah, it is. Now come on. My appointment is in like two minutes and I don’t want to be late.”

His feet stayed planted as she stepped forward to open the door, his hand tightening on her shoulder keeping her in place. She felt her expression soften when she glanced up into his terrified eyes. Forcing herself to push on, she deliberately misinterpreted his fear, telling him, “It’s okay, Bryce. It’s just an office. I’m not gonna make you do paperwork or anything.” Well, actually I hope that is a lie.

“But – “

“C’mon. Seriously, I’m about to be late and I’m just standing out here in the hallway.” It took her practically dragging him, but Casey managed to get both him and herself into the reception area of the office, where she was met with a kind, understanding smile of the receptionist that she had spent a great deal of time talking to and planning with.

“Hello and welcome to Mortemer Realty. My name is Peyton and we are so happy to have you here today. Can I get you guys something to drink? Water, coffee?”

Casey looked up at Bryce waiting for him to answer, but after taking in his dazed look, she realized he likely hadn’t heard Peyton’s question so answered for him instead. “Could we have a couple bottles of water?”

“Certainly, I’ll be right back with those. And Edward should be ready for you in just a moment. He was just finishing up a phone call.”

As soon as she walked away, Bryce’s face snapped down to Casey’s with his eyes narrowed. “The fuck are we – you – doing here?”

Before Casey could reply, the door to an inner office and the realtor, Edward, stepped out. “Ah, Casey! It’s such a delight to see you again.” Bryce’s hand once again tightened around her shoulder at the word “again.”

Reaching her free hand, luckily her right, out to close around Edward’s for a handshake, she gave him a bright smile and replied, “It’s good to see you again as well. I’m” – she took in what she hoped was a hopefully silent, steadying breath – “excited to get this ball rolling!”

“Excellent! And I see Peyton has already taken drink orders.” Giving Peyton an exaggerated wink and a smile that she returned, Edward waited until she had given both Bryce and Casey their bottles before continuing, “Is there anything else we can get you before we begin?”

Shoving down her ever-increasing nerves at Bryce’s silence, Casey shook her head and said with more confidence than she felt, “No, thank you. I’m more than ready to get going.”

“Alright, then. Let’s have a seat.”

Tugging Bryce with her, Casey followed Edward into his office and pulled the two chairs set up there closer together before gently urging Bryce to settle into one of them. Once she was comfortable in her own, she reached over to rest her hand on his leg, needing to give him some sort of comfort. This was a terrible idea. What the fuck was I thinking?

Realizing Edward was already speaking, Casey took a small breath to calm herself down, thinking, I’ve come this far, no sense in turning back now, before focusing her attention back on the realtor. “…what you told me you were looking for. Is that correct?”

After taking a quick peek at the sheet of information she’d provided him in their previous meeting, Casey glanced at Bryce out of the corner of her eye to see that he was staring at the wall with the same dazed look in his eye and then answered, “Yes. That looks like everything. Were you able to find anything that fit the bill?”

“I was! Actually, I managed to find three listings that covered all of the must-haves on your list.”

“Three? I wasn’t sure if I’d be lucky enough to find one!”

Edward laughed, “Then I guess it’s a good thing you came to me for help!”

Casey returned his laugh as he handed her three sheets of paper detailing the listing details for the three apartments she’d been shown on her day off last week. She already knew all of the information on them by heart, especially that of the one she knew she liked best, but made a show of looking over the paper as if it was the first time she was seeing it.

After giving her a few minutes of silence, Edward asked, “Do you have any questions about any of the properties?”

Humming softly under her breath in mock contemplation, she finally looked up and forced herself to avoid making eye contact with Bryce as she replied, “No. I think this covers everything I need to know.”

“Excellent! As luck would have it, all of the properties are available for a showing today. Would you be interested in that?”

Casey caught the twitch at the corner of Edward’s lips when he glanced briefly in Bryce’s direction and found herself biting the inside of her lip to keep her composure. She was genuinely impressed with herself when her voice came out steady on her answer, “That would be perfect, since I won’t have another day off until later next week.”

That seemed to snap Bryce out of his daze and he whipped his head around to look at her as he wrapped his hand around the one she still had resting against his thigh. “Are you in some sort of a hurry?”

Before she could answer, Edward interjected, “She needs to be if she wants any of these properties. They are all quite coveted and she will need to move fast before someone else comes in and scoops them up.” Swiveling his gaze back to Casey, he asked, “Do you know which one you would like to see first?”

“Oh, um… this one” – she handed the paper of the one she had fallen in love with back to Edward – “This one is the furthest drive, so I figured we should probably start there and then can work our way back?”

“Actually, I was anticipating you might wish to view them today, so I made arrangements for transportation for us. We’ll take a helicopter there and there will be a car waiting to drive us to the properties once we arrive.”

Bryce’s hand tightened around hers almost painfully. “Hel-helicopter?”

“It’s the most efficient way to get to New York and still have plenty of time and sunlight to properly assess all of the options.”

“Oh my gosh! That is so amazing of you! Thank you so much!” I hope I’m not overselling my fake surprise too much.

“I figured with your schedule as a doctor, this would be the easiest way for you to see everything that you wish to and still be back to Boston in plenty of time. In fact, the helicopter should be ready for us if we leave now. Does that work for you two?”

Turning to face Bryce, Casey had to shove down her guilt once again at the ashen look on his face. Placing her free hand over the one Bryce still had wrapped around hers, she squeezed gently until his eyes met hers and flashed him a smile. “Are you ready for a quick trip to the ol’ NYC?”

“Now?”

Casey laughed, “Yes, now! Aren’t you the king of spontaneity?”

“I uh… I” – he swallowed hard, his fingers flexing under hers – “Yeah, I guess I am. Let’s uh… Let’s do this.”

A squeal of genuine excitement slipped from her lips before she could contain it causing Bryce to flinch, so she leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek to soften the blow before turning back to Edward and telling him, “It definitely works for us.”

A little over three hours, and barely two words from Bryce, later, the group of three were stepping off an elevator onto the tenth floor of a brand-new apartment building. “Now, as the literature explained, this apartment won’t have the picturesque view of the city that the higher floors do, but that does actually save you a bit on the rent. The owners have discovered it’s been a bit trickier to rent out the apartments on this side of the lower floors because of the adjoining building.”

“I thought you said these listings were flying off the market?”

The shock of hearing Bryce string together and entire sentence had Casey’s steps faltering so much she almost tripped herself. The way that Bryce reached out to steady her and tuck her into his side – the most contact they’d shared since they left the realty office – offered her some semblance of reassurance.

“They are flying, but that doesn’t mean that the interested parties are willing to overpay compared to other options out there. It isn’t much of a savings, mind you, but every bit helps.”

Casey agreed, “Yes, it absolutely does.”

Coming to a stop in front of apartment 104, Edward turned to look directly at Casey and announced, “Here we are. Are you ready to take a look around?”

Feeling as if she were literally vibrating, she hoped that Bryce would attribute it to excitement rather than nerves as she nodded her head in response, all ability to form words escaping her as only one thought bounced around her brain: I hope he loves this as much as I do.

Once the door was open, Edward stepped out of the way to let Casey and Bryce enter first. Surprisingly, she didn’t have to pull him along behind her, but rather was practically getting drug inside by him. She honestly wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. As they moved about the small apartment, checking out both bedrooms and bathrooms before venturing through the almost non-existent living room into the kitchen, Casey kept sneaking surreptitious glances at Bryce to try and judge his impression.

When he finally came to a stop in front of the refrigerator, staring into the stainless steel, she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She pressed a kiss to his shoulder blade before whispering, “So, what do you think?”

Letting out a harsh scoff, he practically hissed, “Does it even fucking matter?”

You knew there was a chance that he’d be pissed. Just stay the course and it will all be fine. It has to be fine.

“Of course it matters! I wouldn’t have brought you along if it didn’t.” When the only response she got was another scoff, she squeezed her arms around him gently and pleaded, “Please, Bryce?”

Spinning in her arms, Bryce threw up his hands and exclaimed, “Fine! It’s a great fucking place! It’s got enough room for a TV and couch for your sports, a good-sized bedroom, a more-than-adequate kitchen for all that you are gonna use it. Hell, it even has a goddamn extra bedroom that you could use for a fucking office if you want!” He let out a deep breath and seemed to deflate with it as he asked, “That what you wanted to hear?”

Pressing herself closer so she could rest her chin against his chest, she bit her bottom lip and hoped that she could hold herself together for just a bit longer because seeing him lose it like that damn near broke her. “Almost.”

“Really? What fucking more could you want from me over this?”

“You really like this place?”

Finally wrapping his arms around her, he muttered, “No. I told you I think it’s great. I didn’t say I like it.”

“What don’t you like about it?”

“You really have to ask?”

“I really do.”

“It’s in fucking New York City! I mean – never mind.”

Sucking in a steadying breath, Casey turned her head so that her ear was pressed against his chest. The sound of his pounding heart beneath it simultaneously made her feel like shit and also reassured her. “So that’s the only thing you didn’t like?”

Letting out a resigned sigh, Bryce pressed a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Yeah. That’s the only shitty thing about this place. But do you really think you need to waste all that extra money on a two-bedroom?”

“I think so.”

“Why? Other than an office that you would never use?”

“Well, I think Keiki would like to have her own room, wouldn’t you?”

Shoving her away from his chest by her shoulders, Bryce narrowed his eyes at her. “What are you talking about?”

Giving him her most patronizing look, Casey repeated herself very slowly, “I think Keiki would like to have her own room.”

“In New York?”

“No.”

“Casey. What in the hell is going on?”

Surprised by the force of her unexpected laughter, Casey couldn’t help but double over. When she had regained a bit of control, she turned over her shoulder toward Edward and asked, “You think I should let him in on it?”

“I think you’ve made the poor boy suffer more than enough.”

“Okay, fine.” Twisting back to look Bryce in the eye, she brought a hand up to cup the side of his face, her thumb tracing over his cheek. “Did you really think I would move away without even telling you first?”

“Before today? Not a fucking chance. But we’re standing in an apartment you want to rent in New York fucking City, so I guess I was wrong.”

“You weren’t wrong, love. This was just a little bit of payback.”

“What?”

“I’m not looking for an apartment for me. I’m looking for an apartment for us – you, me and Keiki.”

Bryce’s brows scrunched together in a combination of disbelief and confusion. “In New York?”

“If I may?” Edward interjected, waiting for Casey to nod yes before continuing, “Casey came to me a few weeks back, wanting to know about two-bedroom listings in Boston that would be close enough to Edenbrook to be feasible for the two of you and your sister. In the midst of our conversations, I asked why she was doing this solo if she had a partner to help her with the process and she told me that she was wanting to set him up with a little bit of a fake out to pay him back for a mess she had to clean up for him. That led to us discussing the whole situation and once we found the apartment that she could best see you guys living in, I realized a way that we could take her plan to a whole new level.”

By this point, Casey was giggling almost uncontrollably, but she still managed to add, “Oh my god, it was a brilliant idea.” Bryce’s fingers tightening around her waist told her he wasn’t sold on that opinion quite yet.

Edward laughed softly, “I’m so glad you enjoyed it Casey. Anyways, the apartment she picked just so happened to be owned by a real estate firm that had just built an almost identical building in New York. So, I called and found out that it had an apartment that matched the floorplan of the one in Boston so I arranged to have this available for a showing today. That way you could see what your apartment will look like, if you choose to lease it, and we could really psych you out.”

The apartment was silent for what felt like hours as both Casey and Edward waited to see how Bryce was going to react to the full reveal of her deception. As the seconds ticked by, her nervousness amped up exponentially, suddenly terrified that she’d ruined not only her chance to move in with Bryce but maybe their entire relationship. When she couldn’t take it any longer, she used the hand still cupping his cheek to gently turn his head so that she could meet his eyes. There was a look in them that she couldn’t quite read and she had to force her words out around a growing lump in her throat. “Bryce? Love? Talk to me.”

“You really set all this up as payback for the incident with Lilly?”

“I… I did.”

“So, you thought ‘Let’s make Bryce think I’m moving to New York City without discussing it with him first.’?”

Casey sucked in a deep breath through her teeth, but kept her voice steady as she answered, “I did.”

His eyes narrowed on her in a glare so hot she felt like her skin was melting, but she refused to look away. Whatever the fallout was going to be for this, she knew she had to face it head on. He was silent for several long beats before a smile finally broke out over his beautiful face and he let out a hearty laugh. “Damn, babe. That… that’s fucking incredible.”

“Wait… you aren’t… mad?”

“Hell, no! I’m impressed that you came up with such a devious plan, to be honest!”

“Really?”

“Really. I only have one question.”

“Um … okay?”

Shifting his gaze back over her shoulder, he asked Edward, “Why did you go to so much trouble, so much expense, for this prank for a woman you don’t even know?”

“Oh, that’s actually an easy one. Remember that pitcher that collapsed during the game between Manhattan and Boston a while back? He’s my cousin and she saved his life.”

“Stop it, Edward. I told you that wasn’t just me.”

“Bullshit. Several of his teammates told him and me both how you figured out what was wrong with him. Besides that, I could immediately tell what an amazing woman she is. As much as she wanted to mess with you, her biggest concern was finding a place that would be comfortable for you and your sister. She wasn’t even worried about what she wanted or needed. All in all, I was more than happy to help you guys find a place and to help her get a little bit of payback.”

Chuckling once again, Bryce brought a hand up to the back of her neck to bring their faces closer together. When their lips were almost touching, he muttered, “Damn, Case. I’m so glad I have no interest in a prank war with you.”

Voice breathless, she asked, “And why is that?”

“Because I’ve already lost before I could even begin.”

Casey’s laugh was short-lived as Bryce pressed their lips together for a deep and tender kiss. When they finally pulled apart, Casey’s smile was slightly mischievous, making Bryce question, “What’s that about?”

“I just realized I never got to asking my question.”

“Oh yeah?” Leaning back down, Bryce pressed his forehead against hers. “You’d better hurry up and ask then. Wouldn’t want to give me too much time to think about how to respond.”

After pinching his side, Casey let out a soft chuckle at his grunt and lifted her arms up to wrap around his neck. She leaned in just enough to brush her lips across Bryce’s and then stayed there as she asked, “Do you want to live in this apartment’s Boston twin with me?”

“When can we move in?”

Tag List: @anotherbeingsworld @darley1101 @lahellacute @mrsdrlahela @burnsoslow @mvalentine

I know it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything, so if you’d prefer not to be tagged anymore, I apologize. Just let me know and I will take you off the list. I actually debated whether I should even tag anyone in this for that exact reason, so I will totally understand if you want off - especially because I don’t know how soon I’ll have any sort of regular posts again.

[lesbian-percy-weasley]

How To Make Your Crush Fall In Love With You In Three Easy Steps by Gay-Natasha-Saves-The-World on Ao3 (aka your Frankenstein references in Harry Potter fanfiction dealer)

Chapter 2: Make Yourself Desirable

Ship: Perciver

Content warning: Spoilers to the American satirical comedy But I’m A Cheerleader staring Natasha Lyonne and Clea Duvall in the first paragraphs. (It’s free on YouTube if you haven’t seen it)

Summary: Percy is starting to question his feelings about Oliver while Oliver tries everything in his power to prove to Percy he’s sort of an intellectual

A/N: Online school has totally messed with my sleep schedule so midnight fic release woohoo

“I swear film studies attract the worst type of people,” Penny sighed as she sat down at the library table with her friends. “This Tarantino fanboy was trying to talk to me about Pulp Fiction and then acted like I killed his dog when I said I didn’t like it. Cinema peaked with But I’m A Cheerleader and you can’t convince me otherwise.”

“Oh please, what’s so good about that movie?” Cedric complained. “Ummm, it’s gay, it’s a commentary about how gender roles are bullshit, it has a happy ending, and prince Zuko is in it,” Penny argued while she was opening her lunch.

“I would hardly call getting disowned by your family and being homeless a happy ending.”

“Did you not pay attention to the movie at all? First of all, they weren’t homeless; they were staying with Larry and Lloyd Morgan-Gordon. And second of all the last scene of the movie shows Megan’s parents in a support group for people with gay children so clearly they didn’t disown her.” Penny could deal with a lot of bullshit, but someone saying But I’m A Cheerleader was a bad movie was not one of them.

Percy however found this hilarious, but he was trying to hold in his laughter since they were in a library and his laugh was notoriously loud. Penny and Cedric were continuing to argue about the movie and Percy managed to gain composure. That’s when he noticed Oliver looking at him from next to a shelf.

He gave him a small friendly wave before he walked away of embarrassment. Strange. But Percy decided not to think a lot about it.

“Was that your boyfriend?” Penny teased Percy. “Don’t be ridiculous, it's just my friend from English.” He replied trying everything he could not make his face blush. “Oh, so he’s the person we have to thank for getting you to finally shut up about it.” Cedric laughed.

There was no hiding Percy’s blush now. “Oh wait, I get it. He’s not your boyfriend but you want him to be.” Penny exclaimed like this was a great revelation. “No!” Percy said a bit louder than he meant to, earning a harsh glare from Ms. Pince. “He’s just my friend. Besides, I doubt he’s gay, and even if he is, how would he know I’m gay.”

“Your computer screensaver is literally a picture of Oscar Wilde. It doesn’t take a genius to figure it out.” Cedric replied matter-of-factly. Percy couldn’t even muster a reply to that. Yes, Cedric was right but that still didn’t prove that he would have any chance of ever being with Oliver.

I mean just look at him. He’s a lanky, ginger nerd who was too shy to have more than 2 good friends and Oliver was a gorgeous and popular star sports player. Even if Oliver was gay, why would he want to be with him when he could be with any other boy in school?

Before he knew it, lunch ended and he had to go on with his day. But the thought of Oliver would be on his mind for the rest of the day.

Oliver was extremely tired after track practice. Besides the growing mountain of homework he had, he wanted to read the book for Percy. As much as he wanted to ignore it, if he did his grades would drop even lower and he would absolutely be kicked from the team. So the book could wait for now.

By the time he was done with his homework, he felt like he was about to pass out. But he HAD to read the book. It couldn’t be that hard to read, right? After all, he watched the movie with his parents a few years ago.

Oliver couldn’t even get past page 3 of Frankenstein before almost dozing. “I thought there was supposed to be a monster…” He mumbled to himself as he set the book down. He decided that he will try again tomorrow. If that didn’t work he would just SparkNotes it. It was almost 11 pm anyway.

For the next week, Oliver spent virtually every bit of the little free time he had reading Frankenstein. It was deceptively small for the amount of effort it took to read it. But late one night, he finally finished it.

The amount he took in was debatable but he understood enough to prove he read it. Just as he was thinking about messaging Percy about it, his phone beeped. He picked it up to see Percy had already messaged him.

ThatPercival: Do you still need help with the English homework?

Oliver.Would: Nah, I figured it out.

ThatPercival: Oh, okay.

Oliver.Would: I’ve been getting better at English this semester lol. I actually just finished reading Frankenstein.

ThatPercival: Really? What did you think about it?

Oliver.Would: I thought you were right about it being a better Jekyll and Hyde.

ThatPercival: Right? Mary Shelley did it first and better. I don’t know why we don’t read it instead.

Oliver.Would: If you got to pick the books we read in school people would actually pay more attention.

ThatPercival: I doubt they would pay any more attention to Pride and Prejudice or the Picture of Dorian Gray than they already do when they’re reading The Great Gatsby. But I would have more fun.

Oliver.Would: Touche. But at least we would be reading better books. You don’t even understand how boring English was before you came along.

ThatPercival: Speaking of English, what happened in the first semester that made Mr. Lupin have assigned seating? He never did that last year.

Oliver.Would: Oh yeah, Marcus Flint punched someone in the face over a seat.

ThatPercival: Asgjfhksdfkfdj What????

Oliver.Would: Yeah some kid sat in the seat he usually sat in, they argued about it for a few minutes and then he just punched him. He got suspended for a few weeks and Mr. Lupin had to change the rules. It was the only notable thing that happened in the first half of the year.

ThatPercival: That seems like a pretty severe reaction for someone sitting in your seat.

Oliver.Would: Yeah lol.

The conversation died after that and Percy felt quite sad about it. He would talk to Oliver all night if he could. It didn’t matter if he would see him in the morning. He’s found himself wanting to talk to Oliver about everything. Found a meme about the book they read in class? He would send it to Oliver. His siblings did something generally annoying? He would let off steam by talking to Oliver.

He still talked to Penny and Cedric about the random shit they always talked about, but he wanted to talk to Oliver way more. It just felt more, natural? Why would it feel more natural? He’s known Penny and Cedric since middle school and he’s known Oliver for like 3 months.

He put his phone on his bedside table and sighed heavily. All of this was just so confusing. He could read and understand some of the most advanced works in literature but his brain was a different story. Oliver made him feel an emotion he couldn’t describe.

His pondering was cut off by the ungodly noise his siblings were making seemingly right outside his door. They always seemed to do this at the worst times. It was 10:30 at night, what could they possibly be doing? Before he even got to the door, his mom was already telling them off.

Now he could return to trying to decode his feelings for Oliver. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Penny said a few weeks ago. Did he really want Oliver to be his boyfriend? Okay, maybe there was some truth in that. But there was still no way Oliver would want to be his boyfriend.

So what if he read a book he mentioned once? Maybe he was just trying to be friendly or expanding his literary horizons. That doesn’t mean he wants Percy to be his boyfriend. Why would he want to be his boyfriend? The two of them couldn’t have been more different.

But he shouldn’t waste time thinking about it. He had to sleep. He put his phone on the charger, turned his lights off, got into bed, and tried not to think about how madly in love with Oliver he was.