#naturally a ts song came on

[pompyoly]

Redacted headcannons BUT some of them are actually cannon

After Vincent got turned and William was positive he wouldn’t go on a bloodlust spree he would sometimes go out and forget he was rich

Asher was one of those overly excited tall scrawny kids who would get colorful bands on his braces

Aaron and Elliot would play as duo characters for every video game that allowed the player to select characters

Gavin would know how to do things but wouldn’t know how he knew how to do them

Laskos powers sometimes happen as a reflex like his fight or flight instinctively turns into float the second he feels his body falling or if he’s on high places(you wouldn’t catch this man on any roller coaster)

Sam has an old outdated picture of him and his grandmother that’s in black and white

All earth elementals are naturally strong, Water elementals are naturally smart, Fire elementals are naturally determined, and Air elementals are naturally focused

Milo and Sam’s family bloodline has/had problems with addiction so they never associate with alcohol or smoking with the fear that they could get addicted

Quinn used to “joke” with Darlin when they were still together by grabbing them and pretending to turn them when they weren’t paying attention and to this day they wonder if he was serious about biting them

Asher was one of those kids who would listen to old metal songs over and over(AND OVER) again until he learned the lyrics

Sam does own a cowboy hat and the Shaw pack(main 8) has made “save a horse, ride a cowboy” jokes(Sam doesn’t know wtf they’re talking about)

Darlin would lie to Gabe and David’s mom about their parents letting them stay over because they wouldn’t wanna go home

Lasko wears sweaters WITH EVERYTHING

Gavin got his music taste from FL when they first started meeting up claiming that he wanted to get closer to them rather than having sex with them

Darlin and Sam were cautious when they had their first time always asking each other if they were okay before, between, and afterwards

David’s contact name in the pack phones is “Davey” but they’ll never admit that to his face(he currently knows that Asher and Angel have it as theirs)

Gavin has nipple piercings and a tongue piercing(he has tried to convince Lasko to get one)

Darlin has a slight degrading kink that you could NEVER get them to admit(Sam found that out when they once started crying and he thought he hurt them and was flabbergasted when they told him to do it again)

ALL of Asher’s shoes are dirty except for his dress shoes and Milo gets so pissed when he wears nice sneakers and creases them or gets them dirty

Angel and Baabe both like kpop specifically Ateez and seventeen

Sam has a house in the woods and prefers a working house over a cute one(he has a porch swing)

Sam doesn’t like talking about his family but could go hours talking about his grandma

David hates the nickname “Dave”(don’t ask me why I just feel like he does)

Darlin once thought they hurt sams feelings and disappeared for days until they came back with a gift for him and waited until he saw it before talking to him(they’re terrible at apologizing and refused to tell Sam where they went while they were gone)

Porter always kisses Treasure's knuckles

FL has once broken a comb in caelums hair(but was so confused when they were able to move their hands through his hair)

The younger Shaw pack had a clubhouse in the woods in an abandoned cabin that Gabe helped David clean up

TS TOOK ME ALMOST 3 HOURS I QUIT(I’m lying:3 GM AND GN It’s currently 4:36 IN THE MORNING)

[all444miles]

— IN HER OWN LIL’ WORLD

— paring: e!42 miles x black!fem!reader

— genre: fluff

— summary: you can chat for the world, so you tell it all to none other than your boyfriend.

— a/n: the way this is a self insert bc when i tell u i can CHATTTTTT 😭 this is pretty much inspired by the song “love is only a feeling” (hence the title, that “she’s so perfect in her lil world”) so you might see a bit of lyric references in it. writing ts at 2am got me TIRED than a mf, but enjoy !!

You were a natural talker. You could talk for hours without getting tired. You could talk for the whole world, even. So you tell everything you want to say to your world, Miles. Miles loved everything about you. But when you would talk to him non-stop, and the way you’d articulate your words? Made his whole day.

“She came up to me tryna start sum, and you know I wouldn’t take that shi, so I had to deal wit her.” you explained, sitting on your boyfriend’s lap, his hands on your waist, as you continued to tell the story you had been telling Miles about for the past 26 minutes.

“Mami, you fought her?” he asked, his head cocking to the side and his eyebrows furrowed. “Das crazy, ain’t I said if you got a problem tell me?” You never really knew how, but whenever a person would cause you problems, Miles would always find a way to sort it out.

You tried to think to yourself, before you realised what he said to you just a ago week ago, catching your breath as you did so.

“Aight ma, after that fight, if you got any more beef wit somebody, for a good reason, you come to me, you heard?”

“Oh yeah..” you could hear a soft sigh coming from Miles and watched as he slightly shook his head, which made you smile. “That’s my bad. But she still deserved that shit.”

“So ima take it you won? Or else ima be even more annoyed.” he questioned you, raising an eyebrow, engaging himself more into the conversation.

You chuckled at his question, and your answer made him grin. “Of course I did! You ain’t never gon see me lose a fight.”

“That’s my girl. Now, tell me the rest.” you smiled at Miles as he waited for you to continue. You were always a talkative person, and Miles would always be the one to listen.

“You sure I ain’t talking yo ear off, baby?” you laughed quietly as you spoke, feeling the slightest bit self-conscious that you were talking too much. Miles, however, laughed at what you said.

“Mami, you always do, but I love it.”

“Ahora, no dejes que te detenga amor, sigue hablándome.” (Now, don't let me stop you love, keep talking to me.)

© all444miles 2023. do not plagerize, copy, or repost my work in any way shape or form, without my permission.

likes, reblogs, comments and asks are always appreciated !

[planetwaynez]

Mastermind

Jason Todd x GN!Reader

Notes: I was in a mood and TS was playing so I just wrote what I was feeling. Hope you all enjoy it!

WARNINGS: This is inspired in the song Mastermind by Taylor Swift. Talking of loneliness, heated kisses, implied smut, Canon violence I guess.

Jason was always a mastermind and when he first saw you he knew he needed to have you. He just didn't knew you were just like him.

No one wanted to play with Jason when he was a little kid. And he got used to it until he entered the world of wealth and super heroes; He wanted to be loved, seen and wanted to be special. So Jason started skimming his way through life.

And then, he died. He suffered and came back from the dead and had to be good at skimming himself through the world. He was alone again, and this time he wasn’t aiming at being loved and special, he was aiming at being feared and respected. 

It worked. Jason became a mastermind at making people feel the way he wanted them to feel. 

Until he moved to one of his safe houses, a little apartment next to the crime alley, to lay low for a while but he wasn’t planning on skimming his way into your heart. It was only natural that he fell for you. 

You were his nice, cute and smiley neighbor. The one that always said good morning and walked the stairs because you were scared that the old, cheap elevator would stop working with you inside, again. 

The one that always seemed to be doing something. Working, reading, helping others. He couldn't help it. He had to have you, all to himself.

So he got close to you. Talked to you every morning, until you were doing volunteer work together in the shelter next to your building. Next thing he knew, you were everywhere. You were going out together on the weekends, going to the gym together and having dinner at your place every wednesday. 

But Jason didn’t realize that you were the one skimming your way into his heart and under his skin. Since the moment you first saw him, you laid the groundwork so he would approach you, and like clockwork you waited and waited, until he was under your spell. 

You always thought he was beautiful, you also knew he would be beautiful inside. You just needed to have him.

Just like Jason you have been skimming like a criminal since you were a little kid. No one wanted to play with you when you were a kid, you were always alone. You saw in his eyes that he was, somehow, just like you. 

So you smiled, said good morning to him everyday and always took the stairs, even though the elevator was faster and you hated stairs (and elevators). You made sure to always be around him, helping others in the same room as him, so he could see that you were open to talk to him whenever. 

You watched, amused, him fall in your trap. You could see in his eyes that he thought he was the one trapping you. Perhaps he was, with all his charm and witty remarks, trapping you too, putting you under his spell.

The fact was: you were both masterminds, waiting for each other, like if there was an invisible string tying  you two together. Forever. 

You smile, watching Jason on the bar, getting your favorite cocktail. The music is loud and this is probably the first time you came to a nightclub willingly, and you only did it because Jason never went to one, not to have fun, at least. So since you decided to travel together  to Greece to celebrate your two year anniversary, you suggested going to a nightclub and just enjoying yourselves. 

He puts your drink in front of you, and Jason is also smiling; After all he was in Santorini with his love, celebrating something that always seemed impossible for him. But now he sees it wasn’t impossible, he just needed to find you. 

“Enjoying the night, love?” He asks. Jason’s eyes are shining and he can’t stop looking at your face, mapping all of your reactions.

“Yes!” You say loudly, leaning in his direction, always seeking his touch and warmth. “I think Santorini might be my second favorite place on Earth!” 

You can’t stop yourself, not with him, always running your smart mouth and saying everything that comes to the front of your mind. 

“Why second? Where is the first?” Jason asks, sensing a flirty answer coming from you. He wasn’t wrong. 

“The first…” You say, getting up and sitting on his lap, his hands instinctively went to hold your waist, to bring you closer to him. “...is in our bed, with you”

You giggle, hiding your face on the crock of his neck, alcohol already hitting your system. Jason smiles, laughing at your antics, holding you tighter. 

“I have to agree with you, love” 

“In everything I said?” 

“No, my second favorite place on Earth is definitely the Cliffs of Moher ” you crunch your nose, but understand him, the Cliffs of Moher are also beautiful and you think it suits him and his beauty. You think that the green and blue of  Moher suits his eyes. 

You feel that warmth on your chest and you kiss him. His lips are soft and he tests like alcohol and strawberries, you lean in opening your lips and letting him in as always. Jason holds your waist with one hand and the other caresses your cheek, he can feel his heart beating fast, reminding him that he's alive and that he is happy. With you.

He breaks the kiss just to kiss your cheeks and your forehead, to look into your eyes and he understands. Understands everything, since the first look you shared to this one right now. It was all destined to happen. 

You were meant to be his and he was meant to be yours. 

The music is loud, alcohol is everywhere and it’s a hot summer night in Santorini however you only have eyes for each other. Your eyes on his and his on your eyes. Nothing was accidental. It was all by design, but neither of you could pinpoint if it was your design, if it was his design or if it was by fate's design. But here you are.

Both of you. Alive, smiling, with glitter on your cheeks and a light on your eyes. You are masterminds. 

You belong to each other. 

“I want to go back to the hotel” He says, gripping your tight. He wants to have you closer, there is only a amount of time Jason can have you on his lap clothed. 

“Me too” you say, kissing his jaw, feeling it flex under your touch. “Take us back to the hotel, Jace”

You went back to the hotel, and in the luxurious hotel room you felt each other everywhere. Like always, being intimate together  felt like coming home. 

“I love you” He says, playing with your hair. 

“I love you, always and forever” 

Both of you smile, wide, big and soft; Neither of you feel alone anymore, now if feels like home all the time. 

[collecting-stories]

Treacherous - Remus Lupin

Request: i love you taylor swift song series!! i was wondering if you could possibly write a fic for treacherous using remus lupin:)) xoxo

Summary: After being left suddenly some months earlier the reader stumbles upon Remus in an old bookshop.

A/N: I made this more as Remus being the one sort of, cautious to trust the relationship and then kind of being pulled in because I thought it made for a nice story that way.

TS Anthology Series | Harry Potter Masterlist

...I hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay...

"So this is where you've been hiding?" you asked, fingers running over the edge of a cling-film wrapped fudge brownie. You picked it up off the tray of baked goods and set it atop the book you had laid on the counter. A pretty hardback edition of Dracula that you probably wouldn't even crack the spine on but that you would proudly display on your bookshelf. 

You hadn't come up to Tyne upon Wear looking for Remus, obviously. You hadn't heard from him in months and weren't even entirely sure where he had landed after leaving Hogwarts and then James summer cottage. It was an accident of nature, a fluke (though you could hear Peter in the back of your head saying that it was 'fate') that you were here for holiday and that you had walked into this bookstore. 

"I've not been hiding," Remus rebuffed, taking the book and the brownie, his fingers brushing yours. "Who told you that?"

You shrugged, "no one. I just assumed, I mean, this isn't exactly close to anyone." You knew Sirius had gotten a flat in London and Lily and James were talking about Godric's Hollow. Peter was in London too but you felt like you rarely saw him these days, though more than Remus. 

"My nan's from this area," he replied, eyes never straying from the till. He'd seen you outside the window, staring a book on display, partially obscured by the sign painted on the glass. Hiding seemed like a marvelous idea, ducking down behind the counter or slipping behind a bookcase. Marvelous but impractical, probably, at the very least unprofessional. And besides, he was too slow to act. He felt like he'd frozen in place the moment you appeared, as if someone had cast a petrificus totalus spell over him. Remus just stood there and then you turned your head to the side and looked through the window and saw him and smiled. 

When you came into the shop, Remus wasn't entirely sure if the bells he could hear ringing where the ones above the door or the ones in his own head. You hadn't said anything at first, just smiled and browsed around the front of the store, very obviously for show, before plucking a book off a shelf that Remus knew you owned, putting it on the counter for him to ring up. He'd expected you to hate him the next time you saw each other. Perhaps you would yell or give him the cold shoulder or, worst of all, he'd be gone so long that you would move on without him. But here you were and you didn't look upset at all. As if he hadn't disappeared, as if you believed him when he lied and said he wasn't hiding. 

"I don't think I knew that," you looked genuinely like you were trying to remember if he had ever mentioned his nan to you or where in Britain she lived. 

"What are you, uh...what are you doing here?" He asked, moving away from the topic of his family (always a rather delicate matter as you knew) and onto something more important, at least in his mind. You were here and you must've been here for a reason and he hadn't spoken to Lily or James or Sirius or Peter in months which meant that no one could have let on that he was here. No one knew, as far as he was aware, aside from himself and he wasn't advertising the information. 

"Oh, on holiday," you replied. "I was quite influenced by Sirius...or at least that awful monstrosity of his."

"The bike?" Remus asked, eyebrow raising in suspicion, "you've not bought one, have you?"

"No, god no. But I have come into possession of a lovely little green people-carrier. It's quite lovely and I've decided to drive it up the coast to Scotland. Trouble is, I always forget about the petrol until I get going," you explained, "I'm afraid I ran out of gas. A very friendly old man in a funny looking truck picked me up though, picked up the car as well! I believe he called it a tow. How marvelous really, a tow."

"So an empty tank brought you here?" He clarified. How truly like you to forget something so vital but also how like the universe to play such terrible tricks on him as this one. To have you strand yourself on the side of a road just kilometers from him and forced to be deposited into his town. "Where are you staying?"

"A cute little B&B. My room has floral wallpaper and a little tea kettle on a hot-plate. I've not used the hot-plate though the old lady explained it to me...seems very tricky if you ask me. I'd much rather just magic the pot." 

"I don't know of any....that is, I think the town is largely muggles." Remus replied.

"I gathered. Don't worry Remus, I haven't been waving my wand about everywhere I go." You laughed. You took the bag he pushed across the counter, your book and brownie inside. "I missed you quite a lot."

Graduation had felt wildly exciting. All that talk of future plans and goals had never been overshadowed, even when inklings of sadness had crept through at the thought of not seeing your friends every single day for months at a time. You would all be close, you were sure of it. James planned the summer holiday, an almost immediate trip to a summer cottage for a small (though large at the final head count) group of friends to avoid saying anything like goodbye to each other right away. 

The summer cottage had been lovely and you and Remus had only just begun dating each other before the holiday, still shy about each other in the way that new romances are. It had felt exciting, to be away with him. You'd been friends for so long, seven years, and then you were dating and suddenly it was like everything was new and you thought it would all last forever. But then you'd woken up on the last morning at the cottage and Remus was gone and you didn't see him again. Until this very moment, in a tiny bookshop in a little seaside village of muggles. 

"I'm sorry," Remus began to say but you shook your head, stopping him from saying anything more.

"No need to be sorry," you promised. You'd experienced a vast range of emotions in the days and weeks and months post Remus' departure. Ultimately though, you knew your friend well and knew that (despite Sirius always getting the credit for being the one most prone to dramatics) Remus could be very dramatic when he chose to be. Disappearing was not as surprising as you would have liked it to be when you actually thought about it and had resolved yourself to the knowledge that should he choose to, he would show up again. He couldn't stay disappeared forever. And you were mildly thrilled to know that you were right about that, though he was found out against his will, completely by accident. "You're not as unpredictable as you might think Remus."

"I wasn't trying to be unpredictable," he reasoned, "I just-"

"I know." You cut him off, "I've had ages to think out all your reasonings and arguments and I've reenacted them all with myself. I can't imagine you could argue your case any better than I already have," you explained. "Now, what time does this little shop close?"

"Why?"

"Because I just told you that I missed you and I'm certainly not planning on walking out the door and leaving and not seeing you again Remus. In this singular case I would use Peter's reasoning and say that this," you gestured between the two of you, "is certainly fate. I'm not one to ignore fate, should think you wouldn't want to either." 

Remus sighed, shoulders relaxing as though he were giving up a fight and probably, he was. "About an hour. I need to sweep up when I'm done. And there are a few books left to put away."

"Oh well, that's much too much work love, I simply can't wait that long." You joked, looking around the shop. You and he were the only ones in there. "Shall I browse around or can I have a stool?"

"I only have the one," he replied, side eyeing the stool that was placed beside him behind the counter. He wasn't sitting on it and hadn't in the entire time you'd been there. 

"Is it a prized possession?" You joked, "or am I just not allowed behind the till?"

Remus shrugged, "you are."

You came around the side of the counter, placing your bag down and sitting on the stool beside him. You fished the brownie back out of the bag and carefully removed the cling-film, "are you allowed a snack on the clock?"

"You don't really have to wait here," Remus said, taking the brownie piece from you and popping it into his mouth. 

You watched him for a moment, suddenly well aware how many 'little things' there were about him that you had missed. Minute details like the satisfied smile he always gave away without knowing when he ate something sweet. Or the way he brushed his thumb across the tips of his fingers, ridding his hand of invisible crumbs. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked, realizing that you were watching him, cheeks staining a lovely pink at the attention. 

"I am committing you to memory, in case you should disappear again."

"I didn't mean to leave you...I mean," he sighed, hands clasping together as he cracked a few of his knuckles. You noted a newer looking scar on the back of his left hand. Your boy was never careful with himself when he was alone. 

"Relationships as scary for everyone Remus," you replied. You had already been through all these conversations, you wanted to remind him. You knew what he would say. "Sometimes you just have to decide it's important enough to do the scary thing."

"How philosophical of you."

"No need to be mean to me," you replied, hearing the edge in his voice. 

He shook his head. Taking a box of books that was sitting behind the counter, Remus passed you and walked around the counter, out to the middle of the shop. You watched him disappear behind a bookcase, going to house some books and avoid further conversation on the topic of his leaving. You knew it was a sore subject for him (Remus was quite talented at making almost everything a sore subject for himself) but it wasn't easy for you either. He was the one who had left but you were the one who was left behind. 

"Do you love me?" You think aloud, turning in your stool to try and see Remus down an aisle. You can hear the soft rustle of books stop abruptly and then he appears, as tall as the case itself, eyes wide as he stares at you from behind the fringe that hangs in his face. He looks surprised, perhaps caught off-guard and you aren't really shocked. He'd told you plenty of times that he did, over and over for months from the week after you began dating until the early hours of the morning in James' summer cottage, hours before he left you. 

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

"Why would you ask me that?" Remus questioned, tongue darting out to lick his lips nervously. 

"Because I want to know the answer," you offered, "do you love me?"

"Of course I love you," he finally replied, frowning. 

"Well, it's hard to know Remus, you did leave after all."

"You said you weren't upset about that." He reasoned.

"No, I believe I said that I'd already given myself all your arguments. I considered that maybe you didn't love me and that was the reason. A clean break...I only considered it for a moment though, you wouldn't have left everyone like that if you didn't love just me," you explained, "so I thought about it and I decided that you did love me."

"Then why ask?"

You ignored his question, continuing your explanation instead, "you love me but you're ridiculously afraid of that."

The look he gave was particularly sour, as though he was trying to be mad but couldn't quite bring himself to stop being embarrassed at having been caught out long enough to succeed in being angry. "What's your point?"

"We've been friends since we were eleven, sitting beside each other on the train. And I've known about you since third year," you reminded him, "so what are you afraid of?"

"We all have our own lives now," Remus argued, as if that was actually a legitimate reason for leaving everyone behind, "you don't need to be burdened with-"

"You know I love you also," you said, cutting him off, "I hate when you say things like that. Burdened, as if I'm not actively choosing to sit here with you and ask that you give it another go."

"It's different out here. There is no shrieking shack. Sirius, James, Peter...they have their own lives. They can't be dropping everything whenever it's a full moon. We can't go on this way forever." 

"You may not, you said yourself that Dumbledore told you there was a potionist working on something for-"

"It wouldn't stop the transformation...if it works," Remus replied, "I just, wouldn't lose my mind. And you'll remember that Dumbledore said it would be extremely difficult to come by and even harder to make." He pointed out. 

You sighed, standing up from the stool and walking over to him, "always the pessimist. What are you afraid of?"

"I've told you," he took a step back, as if he were afraid that you might cage him in.

"Not really," you argued, "you've given me plenty of excuses though. I'm not afraid of you, Remus, and none of your friends would ever leave you alone with anything. You know that." 

"I can hardly find work. I've been here four months and missed countless days, if it did any real business I doubt they'd want me around. How can I contribute to any sort of relationship if I can't even work. Not to mention that afterward I'm," he glanced at the newer scare on his hand and you knew what he meant, he used to spend days after in the infirmary when you were at Hogwarts, "and I've a terrible temper, which I know you are aware of, and you were right before I was being mean, and I still haven't quit smoking and I have a terrible diet. Can hardly keep anything down these days, I'm always nervous. And I don't like to go out and I'm not very romantic and I have terrible insomnia-"

"I know all of these things about you Remus," you replied, cutting him off as he rambled. 

Remus sighed, setting the books in his hands down on the shelf and then, unsure of what to do with himself, reached for your hands (which you gave willingly). "I have very little control over most things in my life and I...as trifling as it sounds, I'm quite terrified of giving up control of my emotions," Remus admitted, "suppose that's what I'm afraid of after all, allowing myself to love you. God, I sound like some tragic muggle novel."

"You sound very honest, and not trifling at all," you replied, "you're allowed to be afraid Remus, but you've got to vocalize these things. Running off to a little corner of England alone isn't a very good solution. Don't punish yourself...or me for that matter."

"I know." 

"Besides," you mentioned, tugging his hands gently so that he moved closer to you, so close in fact that you had to tilt your head just slightly to look him in the eye, "you know me well enough to know I'll take supremely good care of all your parts, heart very much included."

He hummed, "good to know." He leaned ever closer, to give you a kiss and to relish in the sensation of being kissed by you, something he had not allowed himself to enjoy for months and now wondered how it was he had managed for even an hour. You were right, and he wasn't surprised by that fact at all. He had been afraid and could still feel the grip of that fear in the back of him mind, no matter how distracting (or reassuring) you managed to be. "I do love you," Remus admitted again, "very much. My leaving...it wasn't because of you, and I never meant to hurt you. I didn't...I didn't think I would."

"You didn't think I would be absolutely gutted?" 

"I suppose I was trying not to think too much about it at all," he replied, honestly. Remus wasn't nearly as daring as James could be, or Sirius for that matter, but he liked to think that in most aspects he was willing to take a risk. It was in the matter of giving himself to some that he found he struggled. If he gave too much away, what would be left of him at departure (and he was always expecting a departure). He'd given all of himself to his friendships, to James and Lily and Sirius and Peter. How could he risk anyone else being granted the ability to hurt him?

But then, you'd been more than willing to take that risk, wholly unafraid of one year or four years or ten years down the road. You weren't thinking in endings, only in right then. And right then you loved him (though probably tomorrow you would too. And in one year, four years, ten years). 

He kissed you again, because even the minutes between when he had just kissed you and right at the moment he did it again felt like it had been too long. He'd missed you terribly and he hadn't really let himself acknowledge it until he'd seen you through the window. 

"I do have to finish closing up," Remus admitted, pulling away from you. 

"Do you?"

"You can help," he replied, "stop distracting me."

"I'm not being distracting," you laughed, "if anything you're the one who's distracting." 

"How so?" He let go of you and moved back toward the box of books, beginning to sort through them. 

"How so?" You repeated the question, a tone of disbelief in your voice as you stared at him. "Well I would tell you but I doubt that you would believe me."

"Probably not," he admitted, knowing his proclivity for self-deprecation. 

You shook your head at him, looking about the small shop, "alright where's the broom then? I'll sweep up," you said, "no magic, I suppose?"

"No magic."

[butididntpourthewhiskeys]

So I have a lot of thoughts on the sourdough comment so I might as well tell you because I'd rather do that than work on my assignment :/

When that interview first came out, I remember a lot of people defended/interpreted it as him saying "oh we're just such an in-tune couple, that making art together for us is as basic and natural as making bread". Which, imo, is certainly a fair interpretation and a good faith one to make.

My problem with it then (and in hindsight) is that on a surface level, its just a very awkward and clunky answer, and he could have actually benefited more by giving a textbook PR "it was such a great experience, yay!" type answer.

On a deeper level, it showed me three things:

A degree of indifference towards her career/craft, given how monumental and pathbreaking FolkMore were for her. And it may have been unintentional indifference, because he was 'sick of being asked about her'. We'll probably never know, but there was definitely disdain there. You're a part of this album, my man, you could at least be a little more excited about it!

Fits into a larger context of him refusing to say a single good thing about her in public: A reflection of how he treated/praised her privately? [Not to Tayvis-ify this essay but] a helpful comparison to draw is Travis, who heaps praise on her publicly so effusively and loudly, that all our soft hearts are wondering how cute af he must be privately. Joe's refusal to even acknowledge her in public and songs like YLM hint at a dynamic where he just turned away from her.

My friend's interpretation, which is also an interesting one: In another interview, he said "he didnt see himself writing any more music with her and it wasnt in his plans". In light of the Grammy win, I think he realised it had gone from being a quarantine hobby they did together, to something he would now be forever associated with in a professional capacity, and for a man who HATED headlines about anything other than his acting career, that stings. Imagine having to cope with the fact that you'll probably never win the highest accolade in your own field - an Oscar - but you were handed a Grammy because of your girlfriend's talent and her craft.

Maybe the answer is he simply needed a better PR team and more media training (someone needed to tell him its fine to say your favroite TS song and it just makes you more likeable if you do) but it's just such an interesting analogy to have drawn in an interview. Thanks for entertaining my TED talk, Sarah!

Wow queen of argumentation 🥰 THIS ⬆️

[illneverrecover]

make it right - epilogue | kth & knj (M)

➛pairing: Kim Taehyung x reader  ft. Kim Namjoon x reader ➛summary: He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it. But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love.  ➛genre: starting out musician!AU, smut, angst. SMANGST. ➛word count: 5327 ➛rating: explicit/mature ➛warnings: mentions of previous infidelity, mentions of mature situations, a lot of talk about healing and self reflection, also about self growth, cursing, previous installments contain smut.  ➛notes: Well this was a long, long time coming. If you’ve stuck around this long - I appreciate you more than you will know!  Many apologies for the wait, but damn, was life being a bitch for a hot minute. This was very cathartic for me to write for many reasons, and I hope you enjoy! Just to be clear, this series isn’t here to romanticize infidelity, or make light of it -- but instead show how things aren’t always so black and white in real life. In reality, there are numerous, messy shades of grey, and things can become complicated very easily. This is barely edited and completely unbeta’ed, as I’m trying to be more authentic and less of a perfectionist when it comes to my writing as a personal goal in 2023. It’s been holding me back for far too long, and I’ve missed being creative. Be gentle, and let me know what you think! (P.S. - if you pick up on the TS reference, pls know I’m giving you a forehead kiss)  ➛song: everythinggoes (with Nell) - RM, NELL & Girl of My Dreams (with SUGA) - Juice WRLD, SUGA, BTS  ➛tagging: @jimins-ass-eater, @thatlongspringnight​ ➛Chapter 1 ➛ Chapter 2  ➛ Chapter 3

Everything, everything, everything goes 

Time passes. Despite change, despite everything moving and falling apart and rebuilding again, time always passes. It is unavoidable, it is necessary. It is healing simply in its existence.  

Namjoon sees that now more than anything. 

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year – a year since you walked out, since everything changed. Since his actions and inactions had finally caught up to him, and so had the consequences. 

He wanted to blame you. It would be easier to do so, he thought in the beginning, considering how everything fell apart. But it wouldn’t be honest, and it wouldn’t make him feel any better. He thought himself a good man, after all, and good men accept the fallout from their misdeeds. They dig deep and do some introspection and maybe see a therapist, and they try to be better.

He wanted to be better. 

It wasn’t easy. Looking into the depths of his mind and soul and inspecting his worst flaws is a raw, painful thing at any time, but especially after what had happened. He meditated more, channeled his feelings into his writing in the studio, and continued to work on himself. His relationship with the new producer, Mina, continued to blossom, but this time without the tainting of his indiscretions, without the shame and guilt. Namjoon found what grew between them was more beautiful this way; tending to the soil and ensuring proper watering allowed him to be his sincere, natural self, giving way to a love that came easy. 

It was hard when Yoongi left the studio, though Namjoon would be lying if he said he didn’t see it coming. It was on good terms, thanks to both of them being pragmatic despite their friendship, but it still stung. Another consequence to his transgressions, another person affected by his shortcomings. Yoongi had told him he was thinking of opening his own studio for a while, but Namjoon was almost positive the incident (and the aftermath) is what accelerated his timeline and had him leaving a few months later. 

Taehyung’s resignation had been less surprising, though equally professional. He offered to finish out his contract or to leave immediately – not wanting to leave the studio hanging, but also knowing the position this was putting Namjoon in. Namjoon could appreciate the gesture, even through the betrayal, and allowed the younger man to finish up some tracks and part ways amicably. It wasn’t long before Taehyung’s name was being released as Yoongi’s first talent, and though it felt like someone had punched him in the chest, Namjoon couldn’t help but be proud. 

He would always support them, even if they didn’t know it.

He poured himself into his work,  into his music. His first passion, his first love. She always welcomed him with warm arms, always gave him confidence and solitude to work through whatever melodies and cacophonies were clouding his mind. And as he worked through self reflection and discovery, she was there to help him work through the tougher emotions, the painful feelings, until he had a full fledged album. A raw and new piece of his soul, ready to share with the world, whenever Namjoon was ready to be vulnerable. 

So much had changed in a year. He isn’t sure if this present version of himself would even recognize the Namjoon from before, the person that he was. But he knows he wants to continue to impress that version of himself, and make him proud. 

He was ready to share his music — and himself — with the world,  but before he could, he needed to do one last thing. 

Taehyung wasn’t sure why Namjoon had wanted to see him.

His mind began racing the minute he received the text, saw the name that he hadn’t had the guts to ever delete or block from his phone. It had been almost a year since he had last been in communication with the man, when he had put in his notice at the studio.

So much had changed in a year. He had signed with Yoongi, worked extremely hard in the new studio,  and was making music he was really, really proud of. And to top it all off, he was doing it with you by his side, out in the open, for the world to see. No longer having to hide his love was one of the best things to ever happen to Taehyung, and he’d never tire of basking you in it. 

But Namjoon had asked to meet for coffee, and Taehyung couldn’t think of a reason to say no. If anything, he felt like he owed his old friend - his hyung, his brother - the time and space to say whatever it was he wanted to him. It was the least he could do, considering. 

Taehyung doesn’t regret loving you, but the guilt still gnaws at him from time to time over how things went down with Namjoon. It was you who would always reassure him that if anyone was to blame, it was you, and would help him work through his feelings. 

He had thought about reaching out to Namjoon in the months following the aftermath – to apologize, to explain where he was coming from, how genuine his feelings were for you, that he never meant to hurt him – but realized that this would only be to assuage his own shame and guilt, not because it would be anything that Namjoon actually needed to hear. That didn’t seem fair to put on him, after everything else, and so he vowed to keep his apologies to his journal for the time being. Resolved that if Namjoon wanted closure, he would let him know. 

Taehyung  hopes that’s what this meeting is about, if he’s being honest with himself. He has run this scenario through his head a million times, and out of all the conclusions he could reach, it would be the ideal one. Certainly, Namjoon would have every right to ask him to meet up if only to have a chance to give him a solid sucker punch in the face, and Taehyung wouldn’t be able to fault him for that. 

But despite knowing that things will never be the same, he would at least like for there to be peace between the two of them, for your sake if nothing else.

The coffee shop is spacious, well lit by the copious windows adorning the front of the building, and fairly quiet, considering its size. Mismatched plush couches and chairs decorated the room alongside coffee tables of varying shapes and forms, surrounded by walls lined with bookshelves stuffed to the brim. It is a very Namjoon place to pick, Taehyung thinks, deciding to peruse the menu and order before searching for his friend. 

He finds Namjoon in a back corner, tucked in an alcove that is built into the bookshelves, the only booth in the entire shop. He has one hand cupped around a mug of hot liquid, the other scrolling his phone, not seeing Taehyung approach.

Taking a deep breath, Taehyung slides himself into the booth opposite him. 

“Hey,”

Namjoon’s eyes flick up, surprise on his face quickly melting into a familiar grin. “Hey, Taehyung. How are you? You look well,”

Taehyung lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, his shoulders relaxing at the elder’s tone. “Yeah, I’m good, I’m doing well. How about you? You look great,” he compliments, realizing that he means it. Namjoon has more life and color in his face than Taehyung remembered seeing in years, a new softness in his eyes that makes him seem lighter, more free. “You look happy.”

“Thank you, I’m getting there,” Namjoon chuckles, a shy smile on his face. “It’s been a lot of work, but it’s been worth it.”

For a moment, they just smile and nod at each other, a comfortable and familiar silence stretching between them. There’s  so much that Taehyung wants to ask, that he wants to say, but he follows Namjoon’s lead, instead sipping on his hot chocolate while he waits for the other man to speak.

“So, there’s some things that I need to say to you. And it might be a lot, and I’ll probably talk for a stupid amount of time, but I’m asking for you to listen ‘til the end, if you could,” Namjoon pauses then, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he winces. “If it’s too much, or if you don’t have the time for this, then I understand completely, but–”

“No, of course I have time, it’s okay. I want to hear what you have to say.” Taehyung reassures, giving him a nod. “Whatever you need.”

Namjoon smiles, taking a deep breath. 

“When I first met Y/N, she was… the brightest light,” he looks down at his drink, face softening. “So bright that she drew everyone to her like moths to flame. I was so drawn to her, so attracted to her light. That first night at the karaoke bar, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She was shining so bright, and everyone was watching. I normally wouldn’t approach someone in a bar, but it was like I couldn’t help myself. I knew I’d kick myself if I didn’t go over, or if someone else did first, so I finally went up to her. Told her some corny joke, and she laughed hysterically.” He laughs to himself, and Taehyung smiles. That sounds like the you he knows, too. “And the moment she laughed, I was instantly hooked. I asked for her number, about floating out of that bar when she kissed me. We became inseparable. Spent all of our time together, and the rest happened quickly. I’m sure you know how she is – it’s so easy to get wrapped up in her warmth, her fire.”

Taehyung dips his chin, his lips curling  into a smirk against his volition. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” 

Namjoon’s jaw flexes at those words, otherwise he seems to have no reaction, swallowing before he continues. 

“After she moved in, things were good – comfortable, a little predictable, but good. I felt safe and confident,  knowing that she was always there, always around when I needed a bit of that light. And eventually, that comfort became complacency.” Namjoon shakes his head, drawing another breath. “I started taking advantage of the fact that she would be there when I needed. I got wrapped up in my music, and instead of trying to bring her into that with me, or share that piece of myself, I shut her out. Told myself she wouldn’t understand. Convinced myself that it would be okay once my hard work paid off and she could see the final product. But looking back, it was all excuses to be selfish and to do whatever I wanted, knowing that she loved me enough to put up with it.” 

“I’m not proud of myself for that. There’s thousands, millions of different ways that you can kill the person you love. The slowest way is not loving them enough, not giving them enough of your time – but not having the strength to let them go. She tried talking to me, telling me what she needed from me, begging me to spend time with her, and instead of being strong enough to let her go, I kept making promises I knew I wouldn’t be able to keep. It was fucked up, what I did. I just- I wasn’t ready to lose that fire,”

Taehyung didn’t trust his voice, so instead he nods, easily empathizing with the older man. He intimately knows that fire that Namjoon spoke of, understood its siren call, the unbelievable warmth it is to be loved by you. But at the same time, he realizes how much Namjoon’s admission gets under his skin – knowing that you were in that much pain, remembering seeing you suffer, watching you fall apart and try to hide it from everyone – it angers him, hearing Namjoon own to the fact that he knew he was hurting you, but didn’t walk away.

He must not be schooling  his face as well as he thinks,  because Namjoon sighs as he rubs his face with his hand. “I get it. Trust me, I know it wasn’t okay. But when you’ve been in the dark for so long, finding someone like Y/N – you want to be loved by her, want just a piece of that for yourself. I’m not justifying my actions, but hopefully explaining where my mind was at the time,” he continues, taking a sip of his drink. “I was already not being the man she needed, already not meeting her expectations. And when Mina started at the studio, and started helping me with some of the tracks… I hate to say it, but it was easy to let myself get distracted. I was so wrapped up in myself and what was going on with me, I didn’t see just how far away she had slipped - not only emotionally, but physically, intimately. It seemed like it went from incessant texts about when I was coming home, begging to spend time with me, to… nothing at all. She went radio silent, started going out of the house more, started hanging around you guys more.  I remember thinking to myself, ‘Well at least it seems like she’s found something to entertain herself, now she won’t always worry about me’. How clueless could I be? So fucking stupid, and selfish.” 

Namjoon gives the younger man a moment to process his words before he continues. “After everything went down, I… I’m not proud of this, but I got drunk one night, and I kinda begged some information off of Jimin,” Namjoon winces again, casting his eyes down. “It’s not Jimin’s fault, I think he honestly just felt bad for me, so please don’t be upset with him. He really didn’t tell me much, but he confirmed that… the two of you,” he gestures with his hands towards Taehyung, “ started… being together on her birthday.”

Taehyung feels his heart drop in his chest, his pulse racing at the admission, unsure of why the fact that Namjoon now knew this piece of information makes him feel a bit more ashamed. 

“Which means, it started way after she had ‘the talk’ with me,  way after she began to pull away and I just let her go – hell, encouraged it, even.  When she showed up at the apartment the day I found out, Y/N kept telling me it didn’t matter what happened, or who’s fault it was… that we had both done hurtful things and it was time to move on. And I think even with her saying that, even as she was breaking things off with me, she was still trying to protect me in a way. Still trying to shoulder all of the blame, especially because of the affair. But the truth is, I don’t blame her for any of it. I blame myself.”

He meets Taehyung’s gaze straight on. “I may not have physically cheated, and sure, she may have been the first to step out, but what choice did I leave her? I abandoned her long before she got together with you. I don’t know when or how it happened, but I woke up one day and I stopped choosing her, and started only choosing myself. And the worst part is, she fought to try and fix things between us, and it was like I had blinders on.  I still couldn’t stop choosing myself. I was so damn cocky, so sure of myself…” He swallows thickly. “She still fought, still chose me over and over, so it never crossed my mind that she would cheat. But honestly, I don’t blame her. She wasn’t being taken care of the way she should, the way she deserved.”

Taehyung is surprised to see tears welling in Namjoon’s eyes; the sheer amount of emotion he is willing to share in front of him shocking overall. Namjoon always keeps things so close to the chest.

“And then you swooped in and saved the day,” Namjoon continues, giving the younger man a wry grin. “Again, I get it. I can understand why you were drawn to her, why you were drawn to each other. I was mad, at first. Jealous mostly, if I was being honest with myself, but that’s because I’ve always been a bit possessive. But the more I sat with my thoughts, the more I realized that I was… relieved. Relieved to know that she had someone during that time, that she was being taken care of in all the ways that I failed to. Relieved to know that it was with someone that I know and trust to truly have her best interest at heart. That if it was anyone, it was you.”

Now it’s Taehyung’s turn to have his smile turn watery and soft. “Namjoon, I-”

“No, you promised to let me finish, remember?”

He doesn’t wait for confirmation before speaking again. “I know it sounds crazy, but that's why I asked you to come here. I wanted..” he trails away, hands fidgeting in his lap until his eyes snap to Taehyung. “I wanted to thank you, for taking care of her, for loving her. The way she should be… the way I couldn’t.” He doesn’t hide his tears this time, instead letting one trail down his cheek. “And if it’s alright with you, I have basically written down what we spoke about today, and I would like to give this letter to her - along with the offer of a meet up, if she’d like. Before the album comes out.” 

That gets Taehyung’s attention. “What do you mean? Is there something she should be worried about, or-?”

“N-No! No, not at all, nothing like that,” Namjoon waves off the concern with a hand. “But there are some emotional songs that I worked on after the break up, and it feels like the right thing to do would be to give her the chance to hear them first, before everyone else.”

There is nothing that comes  to Taehyung’s mind that would be a good argument against that - Namjoon is right, it is the courteous thing to do, to allow her the privacy of that moment before the rest of the world had a chance to dissect it into a million pieces. 

“And I didn’t want to reach out without talking to you first, out of respect for you both. It didn’t feel right approaching her directly… again, I want to give her time to process, you know?” 

Taehyung nods in agreement, appreciating the foresight. “Thank you for that, I think that will mean a lot to her.” 

“So you’ll give it to her? The letter?”

There is a part of Taehyung that didn’t want to, if he was being honest, didn’t know if it’s worth reopening the old wounds that you had worked so hard to close. That chapter of your life was something you worked hard to move past, and though you made it clear you wished Namjoon well, you hadn’t asked to meet up with him in the year since the split. There really hasn’t been a need to, once you got your things out of the apartment and moved into Taehyung’s place. 

But if he makes that choice for you, would it be any better than what Namjoon had done? Would he be any better? 

“Of course. I can’t promise she’ll want to meet, but – I’ll give it to her, I promise.” 

Relief sags Namjoon’s shoulders, and he lowers his head in gratitude. “Thank you, that’s all I ask. And thank you again, for meeting with me today. I promise my only intention here is closure, and respect.” 

“Does that mean I’m allowed to say something now?”

“Taehyung, you really don’t have to, there isn’t anything to say–”

“Just let me get this off my chest, please,” Taehyung begs, a hint of desperation in his gaze. “I know this probably doesn’t mean much, and I completely understand why… but for the record, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I wish it hadn’t come to that.” 

“Come on, Tae, like I said-”

“Let me finish.” Taehyung raises his voice slightly, just enough that Namjoon knows he’s serious. “I sincerely mean that. I don’t regret being with Y/N, and I won’t pretend to. I really do love her, and your words and… approval,” he chokes on the word, as if the marvel of it isn’t lost on him, “mean more to me than I think you can understand. But I really hate that you were hurt in the process, regardless of what was going on at the time.”

Namjoon waits, taking another sip of his drink to ensure Taehyung is finished before speaking again. 

“Apology accepted. I appreciate you saying that, really. But I mean… what would you have done differently? No matter what choices were made, the outcome was inevitable. She was never going to tolerate my shit forever, and it was the catalyst. Considering I wasn’t exactly innocent in my behaviors, either, I get it. It wasn’t okay, what any of us did, but I get it.” 

The world is never as black and white as we would like it to be, never as quickly and neatly explained as the human brain would prefer. There are many shades of the foggy grays and dark misty blacks and every level of fading ink in between, a messy cacophony of varying gradients. If anyone can understand that, it’s Taehyung. 

“That’s probably the best way to put it. It wasn’t okay, but I get it. What you did, what we all did. But I do think people are capable of change, if they truly want it. And it sounds like you’ve come a long way,” Taehyung gives a wide grin then, feeling the lightest he has in a long time. “ I wish you nothing but luck and success in your journey - both with your love life and with your music. I genuinely mean that, Joon. We’ll always be rooting for you.” 

Namjoon matches the younger man's carefree smile, any remaining tension easing away from his posture. “Thanks, bro. I’m always rooting for you guys, too. All of you - Yoongi included. If you ever need anything, even just some ears or a hype man, I’m here.”

More pleasantries and gratitudes are exchanged before Namjoon is standing, pulling Taehyung into a quick embrace before gearing up to  leave the coffee shop, holding up a buzzing phone in explanation. “Sorry, I gotta take this - thanks again!”

Everything changes, and everything stays the same.

You aren’t sure how long you stare at the letter before you decide to open it. It must be a few hours at least, because Taehyung had given it to you in the bright light of early afternoon, and now the sky was turning faded pinks and oranges, sun ready to rest for the day. 

He had offered to be there with you when you read it, which you had considered. He has always been supportive of you and your emotions, and you knew you could rely on him to be your rock through this, too, should you need it. 

But there was a little piece of you that felt it was important to be willing to face this alone; willing to face the consequences and fallout of your actions without the crutch of your current love. 

Your friends had rallied around you after the initial fallout, surprisingly, and though you weren’t sure you had deserved that, you certainly appreciated them for it. They gave you the confidence to keep moving forward, to battle with your demons, and you would always be grateful to them for showing up in your time of need. 

You are stronger now, more healed than you were when you had last seen Namjoon a year ago. Not fully healed, because healing isn’t linear, but you are working on it and yourself. An excellent therapist had been the start of the self love journey, and it was with her help that you were able to confront some difficult truths and soothe old wounds, feeling more secure in your skin than you had in years. 

You had even started working on your music again, though you could say that was Yoongi’s fault if anything, since he kept saying he was tired of you lounging around his studio for free. He had practically shoved you into the booth one day, asking for you to warm up and lay a raw track for some backing vocals to earn your keep, and you had complied easily. It wasn’t the worst thing he could have you doing there, and it soothed you to be able to work with music, even in a small capacity.

And Taehyung.

Taehyung had been amazing through it all;  your grounding peace during the storm, your home in the form of a person. His devotion and endless understanding and love was more than you could dream of, more than you ever thought you would know, and you can’t help but to feel like the luckiest person in the world to get to experience it.

Picking up the letter, you take a deep breath, centering yourself before folding it open, eyes quickly scanning the words awaiting you. 

He wasn’t mad, wasn’t angry. Instead, he was apologizing, giving explanations for his actions while telling you  not to blame yourself, offering to meet up to talk things out if you’d like. Or if you didn’t want to talk, to at least get a copy of his new album so that you could listen to it before it dropped, since there were some personal songs included that he thought you may want to hear in private.

Overall, it was a short note; but kind, considerate. A softer side of the Namjoon you used to remember, from the early days. 

You didn’t need to think about how you wanted to proceed, instead picking up your phone and sending a text to your ex-fiancé.

It had been you that insisted on meeting some place outside, wanting to keep the encounter quick and pleasant. You weren’t sure how he was going to reply to your text letting him know that you were willing to meet for the album, but not to talk, but in standard Namjoon style, he didn’t seem bothered. Taehyung told you he supported your decision no matter what, which you knew would be his response, but you truly didn’t feel the need to continue to hash this out. You had both apologized and moved on, and the past was in the past. 

You certainly appreciate his dedication to his own healing, and can empathize with the need of writing a letter for closure, but that was enough for you. You didn’t need anything else in order to forgive him. 

You had forgiven him long ago. 

You and Taehyung made plans to listen to the album together, knowing that you would want his warmth and comfort both physically and emotionally during, and you let that thought comfort you as you walk towards the meeting point, eyes scanning the park for the taller man. 

A tap on your shoulder has you turning, peering up at a dimpled grin. 

“Hey,”

You give him a shy smile. “Hi, Joon.”

He has a small manila envelope in his hands, your name scrolled in black sharpie on the front, and his fingers tap against the material a few times before he thrusts it towards you. 

“Well, here it is. It’s a USB, but it has all the songs plus the album concept art. I hope you like it, but uh, even if you don’t, I thought it was only right to let you hear it before everyone else does.”

His awkwardness makes you want to giggle, but you stifle the urge, not wanting to make him feel self conscious. Taking the parcel from his hands, you slide it in your bag before glancing back up at him. “Thank you, I really appreciate that. I’m sure I will like it. Your music has always been amazing.”

The tips of Namjoon’s ears start to redden, and he scoffs bashfully. “Ahh, you gotta warn me before you say nice things to me, I’m not prepared.”

You laugh then, his deeper chuckle joining in after a few moments, and it felt good to laugh so carefree with him again. Something you didn’t think you would ever have the chance to do. 

“Well, it was good to see you, Joon. Thanks for this,” you tap your bag twice, “I’m excited to listen.” 

“Thanks. It was good to see you as well, you look great. Really h-happy,” Namjoon stutters over his words, the sentiment rushing out, “It’s what you deserve - to be happy.”

Your heart squeezes in your chest, a piece of your soul healed by the words you didn’t know you needed to hear out loud. 

“I am really happy,” you confirm, unable to hide your smile. “Like, almost disgustingly happy, it’s pretty annoying.” 

You laugh, but this time he doesn’t join you.

“Good.”

And before you can think of how to reply, he’s gone, faded back into the bustle of the crowd like he was never there.

Taehyung already has your favorite wine opened by the time you arrive home, a glass placed in your hand once you walk through the door. He’s all easy smiles, nonchalant as he asks about the meeting, steadfast and attentive as he listens while putting the finishing touches on dinner. 

He’s made one of your comfort meals, and you spoon it into bowls before carrying them into his office-slash-studio, cozying up on his lounger before putting the thumb drive into the computer. He queues it up, sliding the mouse closer to his reach as he settles beside you, pulling a blanket to cover your laps. 

You hand him his bowl, and he pulls you in for a kiss. It’s quick, but there’s heat underneath the gentle pressure of his mouth. 

“Are you ready?”

You look into his warm gaze, the affection evident in the soft way he drinks you in. He has one hand cupped around his bowl, the other on your thigh under the blanket, giving reassuring squeezes as the silence ebbs on. 

It’s not that you were afraid of what you would hear, or that you thought Namjoon would do anything to hurt you. But you know hearing your previous relationship's downfall from his point of view could bring up some lingering pain, and you wanted to be able to process and work through it so you could continue to heal.

It’s what he deserved, what you all deserved.

The old version of you wouldn’t be able to handle this, certainly not next to someone like Taehyung. Wouldn’t be able to bear the vulnerability, or having a witness to the potential flood of emotions that could come at any moment. But over this past year, you’ve learned that you are worthy of a love that makes you feel safe enough to be your authentic self - and in turn to allow your true self to be loved. 

You knew that you were safe, here under the blanket on the loveseat in Taehyung’s cozy little studio, next to the man you love. 

“I’m ready.” 

Just like the night leaves and the morning comes The spring leaves and summer comes, but Just like the flowers and summer sunshine Everything must be hurt Breathe the world The air in my lungs is full of cold air I want to run away From long hours of pain and dullness

 Everyday I pray (everyday I pray) That I may become a slightly better adult And everyday I stay (everyday I stay) People die with their pain one day We can not be eternity in dream Words like "Cheer up" can not be real Instead of plausible words It hope it goes like a wind (Everything, everything, everything goes Everything everything else goes)

[cherriegyuu]

seventeen as songs from folklore (ts)

this is also include songs from evermore

a/n: for this, i'll be giving songs and lyrics to each of the members, as well as small plots based on those lyrics. i don't plan to write all of these, but they are still my ideas (as basic as some of them might be). so if you are interested in writing one of them, you can message me about it. if you want to read one of them you can send in a request and i'll write for you

red | 1989 | reputation | lover | folklore | midnights

• Seungcheol ➝ Champagne Problems Your mom's ring in your pocket Her picture in your wallet You won't remember all my Champagne problems ↳ you watch from afar as Seungcheol moves on with his life after you broke his heart.

• Jeonghan ➝ Gold Rush I don't like that anyone would die to feel your touch Everybody wants you Everybody wonders what it would be like to love you ↳ you always took pride in the fact that you aren’t very jealous of your boyfriend, mostly because you trust him blindly. But, sometimes, you need him to remind you that you’re the only one he loves.

• Joshua ➝ ​'Tis The Damn Season You can run, but only so far I escaped it too, remember how you watched me leave But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me ↳ it’s been years since you last saw Joshua. At the time, both of you had been desperate to leave and ready to start your lives in the big city, however, you were the only one who managed to escape. Years later, you came back for the holidays and things seemed to be the exact same, including your feelings for him.

• Jun ➝ Hoax Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in Don't want no other shade of blue but you No other sadness in the world would do ↳ you knew Jun had fallen out of love with you a long time ago but still you couldn’t bring yourself to let go, having him hate you was better than not having his at all.

• Soonyoung ➝ Mirrorball And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why I've never been a natural, all I do is try try try I'm still on that trapeze I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me ↳ Soonyoung is just tired of being the life of the party, of always being the one people go to when they aren’t feeling well because they know he will cheer them up. For once, he wished someone else did the listening and comforting.

• Wonwoo ➝ Seven Love you to the Moon and to Saturn Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long ↳ never in your life would you have thought that you would be able to love someone but then you met Wonwoo, and he showed you just how great love could be with the right person.

• Jihoon ➝ Illicit Affairs Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else Look at this idiotic fool that you made me You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else ↳ Jihoon never thought that he would be the third person in a relationship and yet, there he is, looking at you from afar as you dance with your fiancé.

• Minghao ➝ Cardigan But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd hunt all of my what-ifs ↳ as a college student, you had a one-sided crush on Minghao. even years later, when he's no longer in your life, you can't help but compare every guy you meet to him.

• Mingyu ➝ Right Where You Left Me Did you ever hear about the girl who got frozen? Time went on for everybody else, she won't know it She's still twenty-three inside her fantasy ↳ you were never ready to move on after you lost Mingyu.

• Seokmin ➝ The One I persist and resist the temptation to ask you If one thing had been different Would everything be different today? ↳ you never thought you'd see Seokmin again, but when you're forced to change jobs you discover that he is your new boss you can't help but reminisce on the past.

• Vernon ➝ August Back when we were still changin' for the better Wanting was enough For me, it was enough To live for the hope of it all ↳ you always had hope that one day Vernon would see you as more than just a friend, so when he introduces you to his new girlfriend you feel your heart break into a million pieces.

• Seungkwan ➝ Invisible String Time, curious time Gave me no clue, gave me no signs We're there clues I didn't see? ↳ since you were kids, life always found a way to put you and Seungkwan together in the same room.

• Chan ➝ This Is Me Trying I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here Pouring out my heart to a stranger ↳ Everyone always had high expectations for Chan, he was always the future of something. For once, all Chan wanted was to live in the moment, and with you, he found an opportunity to do so.

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[themoon-saturn]

I hear a Symphony 

Xiao x gn bard reader!

tw: reader injury, cursing, bl00d mentioned// fluff, hc Xiao tbh

an: Its not a ts song this time! Just Xiao falling for you and your music. Just thought it was very cute so I hope you all like it. As normal not proof read or anything. I have like 2 more Xiao ones and an Albedo and a Kayea one in the works so stay tuned! Thank yall for reading <33

//I used to hear a simple song That was until you came along//

You loved the way the mountains of Liyue looked like they touched the sky. The sunset always hits the mountain tops just right to create a view that would amaze anyone, even those who have seen it a million times before. You find a strike of inspiration and start strumming your lyre and humming a tune, feeling the cool breeze against your skin. You were a wandering bard, enjoying the nature around you and letting it be your muse for your music. Playing your songs in taverns and on the city streets for enough mora to get a drink and food, a good enough life for you. Leaving the harbor, you continue on your way through the Gulli Plains to find a place to rest for the evening, ready to bask among the stars. Humming along in your own little world, when you heard the sound of treasure hoarders in the distance, “Shit.” You start to pick up the pace while you put your lyre in your bag. You aren’t much of a fighter, you are okay at best with a sword but are just hoping to sneak past without issue. You are almost past when you trip on the rocky path, twisting your ankle. “Who’s out there?” You hear someone call out and you curse at yourself for not being careful, “Just a bard passing through. I’m- I’m not looking for any trouble.” You say standing to your feet, trying to ignore the pain that’s shooting up your leg. “Well for the disturbance, I feel like you owe us something.” One says walking towards you. You pull out your sword, “I have nothing of value to you. I don’t even have any mora on hand. Just let me go.” you say in as much of threatening voice as you can. “You want a fight now?” One says laughing to the others. You have to get out of there so you swing your sword at the one in front of you, making him stumble backward as you turn and attempt to get away. “Where do you think you’re going?!” You hear as you feel a sharp pain in your side. You look down and see blood staining your top, you press down on the area but feel another knife hit your arm. You fall to the ground, crying out in pain. The treasure hoarders catch up to you laughing at your misery, “Not so tough now? Let’s see what you have here?” One says opening your bag and dumping out the contents. “No stop!” you try to pull yourself up and protest as one kicks you back down. “Oh, what’s this? This looks expensive.” The main one says holding your lyre up to the group. “Stop! Someone help!” you call only to feel another kick to your stomach followed by laughter. “Let’s go. Leave ‘em here.” The group walks off, carrying your lyre with them. “Please… anyone.” Your voice breaks as you begin to cry but then you saw a flash of teal as one of the men falls to the ground. “Shit run!” one yells only to be struck down. The rest of the group puts up a fight only to be taken down, their screams and curses being cut short. You try to stand but fall back to the ground as someone comes up to you, “Here.” You look up to see a face you have heard about throughout Liyue… The vigilant yaksha. He bends down to you and carefully guides you up to lean against a rock. “Can I check your injuries?” You nod silently. He slowly lifts up your top causing you to wince in pain. He begins to check your numerous cuts and bruises while you watch him carefully. You have heard of him in many stories; an Adeptus with a demon mask, armed with a polearm defending Liyue from monsters and demons alike. You never thought you would see him let alone be saved by him. “They aren’t life-threatening… but need to be treated. I’ll take you to Wangshu inn. It’s safe there.” He said standing to his feet. “My- My lyre… They took it…” You say, the yaksha looking back in the direction of the men who attacked you. He nods and walks back, returning with your lyre, a bit beat up with some strings broken but still intact. He bends down to gather the rest of your belongings to put them in your bag and hands them over to you. “Hold on to me.” He says putting his arm around your waist to help you back up. You hold on to his shoulder and you both disappear in a teal smoke.

//Now in it's place is something new I hear it when I look at you//

You both reappear in a bedroom of Wangshu inn, the yaksha carefully laying you on the bed, “I’ll be back.” He says disappearing once more. You assume this is his own room, though it doesn’t look like he uses it much. The yaksha returns with bandages and begins to tend to your wounds silently. “Thank you… for saving me.” You say trying to start a conversation. “It’s my duty to protect the people of Liyue. It was no trouble.” He says sharply, not looking up. “Can I know your name? I’m y/n, a traveling bard.” he stays silent and you realize he probably doesn’t want to talk to you. You keep quiet while he finishes up, taking the opportunity to look at him a little closer. His hair fell almost perfectly in his face, the way his hands worked so diligently, his golden eyes focused on you, and how gentle his touch was. You could see why the people who have mentioned him said he was gorgeous, “Why are you staring at me?” he said sharply causing you to flinch. “My apologies… I was just spacing out.” you try and recover from the situation, ignoring the blush of embarrassment growing on your face. Once he finished he stood to his feet, “Rest now. Stay as long as you would like. I told the innkeeper to check on you and bring you something to eat.” He says making his way to the door. “Thank you… I owe you a song.” you grin. He stops in his tracks, “Sure. Whatever you would like… And It’s Xiao. My name is Xiao.” he says before leaving you alone. “Well thank you… Xiao.” You say before drifting off to sleep. Xiao can feel his heart beating out of his chest, leaning against the door with his hand over his face. Xiao has heard your tunes before, when he’s out, he could hear your melodies carried by the wind to him. He went searching for the origins and found you, singing and dancing just for the moon. He would watch and listen from afar wanting to keep you safe but this night he was preoccupied with a hoard of hilichurls getting too close to the inn but he heard your cries, a sound he never wanted to hear and he was so angry with himself for allowing you to get hurt. “Xiao this isn’t like you to be so kind to humans.” Verr Goldet asked walking up the stairs, startling him, “I have my reasons.” He said before disappearing. She shook her head laughing, “It's written all over your face.” You spend the next few days recovering in bed, the innkeeper checking in every so often. It felt nice to have a roof over your head and good food for once but you haven’t seen Xiao since he brought you here. You wanted to get some fresh air so you carefully got out of bed and make your way to the balcony. The sky was clear and you could see every star, you took a deep breath and leaned against the railing to put the weight off your ankle. “You should be resting still.” You hear from behind making you jump, “Archons! Xiao, you scared me! Why did you sneak up on me like that?” He awkwardly takes a step back to keep some distance between you two. “My apologies… I um- didn’t mean to frighten you.”, “No, it’s okay! Please don’t worry about it.” you weren’t expecting him to take it so seriously so you give him a reassuring smile as Xiao tries to keep a level head. “Here. I asked Verr Goldet to get these to fix your lyre.” He hands you a box with new strings inside, “Oh Xiao you didn’t have to do this… You have done so much for me already. Thank you.” your smile was breathtaking. It looked like the moon was just there to enhance your beauty and Xiao could admire you forever. He covered his face with his hand, “It was nothing. Besides how can you play that song for me without them?” you laugh at his embarrassment, “How could I forget. I’ll play you anything you want! It’s the least I could do.” You say taking a step towards him, stumbling a bit but he grabs onto you before you fall. Xiao looks up to see how close you are to him causing him to quickly look away, “For now you need to not be standing. Come on.”

//With simple songs I wanted more Perfection is so quick to bore//

He guides you back to your (his) room and lets you sit down on the bed. “I feel like at this point I’m in your debt forever,” you laugh. “Rest.” He says about to leave but he stops when he feels you grab his hand, “Can you… stay for a while?” He can’t find it in him to say no to you so he takes a seat on the bed, “Did you need something?” you reach towards him only for him to push your hand back, “I- I don’t want to hurt you. Those without visions can’t handle being around me for long.” He said creating space between you both. “Well, how about we see how much I can take. I’m not as weak as you think I am.” you smirk crossing your arms. “You don’t understand. I… I have done things that would cause mortals like you to run away in fear of me. I have caused bloodshed and destruction to many so why do you insist on wanting to be closer to me?” He questions not looking up at you. “Well… because I don’t see it that way. I feel like I can trust you. You are a good person with a kind soul. If you were just ‘doing your job’ you wouldn’t have brought me back here and tended to me yourself. You wouldn’t have brought me strings for my lyre. You wouldn’t have talked to me. But you did and you are. I want to learn about you. I’m not scared of you Xiao…” You say touching his hand. He flinches but lets your fingers interlock with his. You both talk for a few hours before he leaves you to rest, his head spinning from your words. The weight they carried sounded so poetic to him. You meant every word you had said, someone like you wasn’t afraid of him. The feelings he felt towards you were complicated but welcome. He felt like he could maybe let down his defenses, not feel so tense all the time and actually breathe. He felt crazy in a way, looking down on the area around the inn with his spear in hand. Monsters like him don’t deserve peace but yet here you were, like a calm breeze bringing a song of comfort. Maybe I am going insane, he thinks to himself while dawning his mask and leaping from the roof of Wangshu Inn to carry on his duty to Liyue. Xiao watched over you when he could. You were working so hard on your song just for him and he couldn’t help but be in awe of you. He still kept some space between you both but never opposed you getting closer every once in a while. You are getting more of your strength back every day that passes. You can see why Wangshu Inn has its reputation with how beautiful the skyline is and you can feel as though your music has gotten better since arriving, though trying to put into words the thoughts you have about the yaksha who saved you is proving difficult. It’s not as if you are drawing a blank, but that your thoughts could be considered a love song to the Adeptus. You had tried to ask what song he would like or if he could tell you about his battles or life but he wouldn’t budge, he would say “Whatever you feel is best” and then change the topic. You understood that the topic of his past is a heavy one just judging by the look in his eyes when you asked but you could see under all of that he was desperate for something. Be it friendship or compassion or even just comfort, you wanted to give him that. A mist of teal appears next to you as Xiao stumbles on the balcony looking exhausted, “Xiao? What happened? You look like hell!” You say, wrapping your arm around his waist. Xiao tenses up at the feeling, “I’m fine…” He tried to free himself from your grasp but stumbled back into your arms. You walk with him to his room and let him sit on the bed, “Now it’s your turn to rest Xiao. At least for a moment.”

//You are more beautiful by far Our flaws are who we really are//

Xiao wasn’t used to being treated so gently by anyone before. You went and grabbed a damp cloth and wiped the dirt and sweat from his face and he stayed silent, the words he wanted to say forming a jumbled mess in his head. Your face was mere inches from his and all he could do was stare at your lips. He had never kissed anyone before but had the overwhelming desire to close the distance between you both. You noticed this and slowly leaned in, but Xiao at the last moment paused and turned his head, “I- I’m sorry… I need to go.” He says disappearing once more. You are left standing there, confused about what just happened. Xiao couldn’t do this, he knows what could happen to you. He was a broken melody, a song where all the instruments were out of tune and you were like a beautiful orchestra, full of life and deserving of a standing ovation. From that day on he tried to avoid you at all costs. You weren’t upset though, you had a sense he just needed some space and time so you gave him that. After a bit more time, you felt like you were fully healed up and ready to leave the inn so you go out to the balcony to take in the view one more time only to see Xiao leaning against the railing,” Oh Xiao, Hi!“ You try and cut the awkwardness with a smile but he doesn’t even look at you. “Listen… uh- thank you for all you have done but I think I’m healed enough to leave.” Xiao felt his heart sink in his chest, “Leave? What do you mean leave?” He whips his head around to face you, “I don’t want to overstay my welcome-“ you start before Xiao takes your hands, “What if you…stayed here? You can travel throughout Liyue but at least will have a bed to return to. All you have to do is speak my name, I’ll come to you and bring you back.” He says, a look of desperation on his face. “Xiao… You want me to stay?” you tease. Xiao drops your hand and turns away from you, “I never said that. It is unsafe to sleep out in the wilderness and I’m just saying you can-“ You hug him tightly catching him off guard, his heart beating loudly in his chest. “Alright, you convinced me,” You laugh as Xiao breaks free from your embrace. “You have no respect for the Adepti.” he huffs, his face growing red. You roll your eyes, “Xiao… I don’t want to push you, but I can’t tell that there is something you want to do. You aren’t going to hurt me. You are hiding something and you don’t have to tell me what it is, but I’ll be ready to listen when you are ready to tell me…” You say taking a step closer to him and his time he doesn’t back away. Xiao gently put his hands on your hips, pulling you a bit closer. You instinctively rest your hands on his chest and slowly the distance finally closes. It feels like fireworks, filled with desire and passion but also calm and soothing like rain. It was delicate yet intense, like the buildup in a song. Once pulling back, there was a sense of peace in Xiao’s heart, “I treasure you y/n… I want to protect you and keep your song going as long as the gods allow. There are many things I wish to tell you someday soon, but most of all I want to never leave your side.” You blush at the sudden romantic words coming from this stoic yaksha, “Well how about we start that promise with the song I wrote for you.” He lets you go and you grab your lyre and begin to strum a beautiful melody with your voice as sweet as honey. A song about a love like no other, one that isn’t finished yet. “I’ll keep adding to it as time passes. A song for us, about love, fate, and peace.” You smile at him. Xiao tilts your head up and kisses you again, “I look forward to hearing every new addition”

//You took my broken melody And now I hear a symphony//

[winryofresembool]

Mid Week WIP

Thanks for the tag @athenasparrow!!

Here's a little snippet from a hurt/comfort one-shot I'm working on:

”Evans? What are you doing out here?”

Lily opened her eyes and quickly attempted to dry her tear streaked cheeks with her hands. She knew who the speaker was without turning to see him and she cursed herself for choosing this out of all places as her hiding spot. Of course the captain of the Gryffindor team would be showing up at the Quidditch pitch even well after their regular training hours were over. It was only natural, when talking about James bloody Potter.

The truth was that Lily had been feeling overwhelmed with everything – school stuff, family stuff, the events outside Hogwarts - and had needed a place where she could cry without the entire Gryffindor house or at very least all her dorm mates witnessing her mental breakdown. She had decided to sneak out, not even caring that it was past curfew already, and eventually found herself in the Quidditch stand where her legs seemed to have carried her own their own accord.

“What?” she said defensively. “You think only Quidditch captains get to hang out here whenever they feel like it?”

...

Here's also a snippet from my modern Jily at a TS concert AU because I can't resist:

“So, what about your favorite Taylor album?” Lily asked. “Is it Red? You know, since you told me you became a fan when Red TV came out.”

For some reason that question seemed to amuse James slightly. “As a matter of fact, it isn’t. I mean, sure, it’s probably in my top three, but… at the moment my go to album is Lover.”

“Really? Sorry, I was just a bit surprised… but screw the stereotypes, right?“

“Fucking right. I know many would consider that a weird choice for me but I’ve always thought it has so many bangers. Like, c’mon, who can listen to Paper Rings without getting into a better mood? And then there’s Cruel Summer? Death By A Thousand Cuts? And London Boy is exactly the kind of song I’d want to have in the background if I was introduced on TV or something… And…”

“And next you’re going to tell me you also love Me!” Lily teased him.

James crossed his arms. “D’oh! What is up with people hating that song? There’s nothing wrong with a little self love. And say with you want, it makes for a wonderful party song on a Friday night after you’ve worked your arse off the whole week.”

[groundbreakingdot872]

Midnights - BBC Merlin-coded ✨Part 1

It’s me! hi, I’m the problem it’s me 👋 (equating every TS song to Merlin again 🙃)

Let’s roll! (for @firefly-fez 💖)

-*-

💜✨Lavender Haze 💜✨

Meet me at ✨MIDNIGHT!✨ ;)

-*-

…This is such a GWEN song it’s hard to hold it together

Gwen has had such an incredible development from season 1 to season 5, from painfully shy and reserved, to becoming much franker and more open about her own emotions and the state of the kingdom.

Every rewatch, seeing Gwen come into her own is so satisfying, and honestly, the only character development I could fully support: it's just very positive!

At the end of season 4, we see Gwen ascend the throne, which was a culmination of Morgana's prophesied vision but also the climax of the love story Gwen and Arthur had been building together from season 2...

She's dressed in LAVENDER, which is a color commonly associated with strength, vitality, leadership and peace; all of which are qualities we can associate with her character. I think that golden age post-Camlaan can be termed a lavender haze ✨💜 instead, as that's the color that best represents her.

Also, she just wears purple a lot! 😂

From s2's iconic purple dress with the embroidered corset (in 'Once and Future Queen') to s4's infamously remembered lavender dress ('Lancelot du Lac'), nearly all of Gwen's important moments have been in purple.

Her coronation gown in s4 (in both the vison and in 'The Sword and the Stone') are purple.

Purple is just her color!

In season 5, she wears a darker, more mature purple, which I think comes to represent her experience as carefully navigating her Queenship, as she's way past any 'rookie' mistakes that she might've made in those 5 years from s4 - s5.

However, I think this song could be a great interpretation of those doubts and insecurities of becoming Queen, and how Arthur's reassurance of her capability helped to put to rest any anxieties that plagued her.

To start, the beat of this song is this thrumming, electric rhythm I fell in love with almost immediately. Taylor's quick intro, "Meet me at Midnight" set the tone right away: this song is an elegant retelling of one woman's journey to prominence, with a sexy beat to accompany it!

[Pre-Chorus] I been under scrutiny (Yeah, oh, yeah) You handle it beautifully (Yeah, oh, yeah) All this shit is new to me (Yeah, oh, yeah)

Gwen has always admired Arthur's strength and gentle nature, 'he handles it beautifully', when it comes to ruling Camelot, and his advice and support is something she came to rely on heavily, in those first few years.

He was always quick to counter her doubt with the reassurance that she is just as capable, even if attending council meetings, drafting treatises and speaking with royal allies is all new to her, she can handle it all just fine!

I specifically remember an instance in "The Wicked Day" deleted scenes, where he pulls her away to give him advice in an alcove. They were discussing whether Arthur should be open to using magic to heal Uther, and when Gwen hesitated to guide him, he reassured her that her that 'he values her opinion above all others.' Arthur has always been Gwen's biggest cheerleader to speak up!

All of those years, she'd seen him manage the court and the knights from the sidelines. As a servant she had a unique perspective on his ruling, but never any authority to make changes herself. She did the best she could with what little she had, speaking up against any injustice or wrongdoing in Arthur's presence and absence.

Gwen was also a constant structure of support for her friends and Arthur, someone they could also rely on to give quick and valuable guidance.

All along, she had the traits of a capable Queen! She just needed the opportunity to prove it.

[Chorus] I feel the lavender haze creeping up on me Surreal I'm damned if I do give a damn what people say No deal The 1950s shit they want from me I just wanna stay in that lavender haze

I mean, the 'medieval-era shit-talking' was probably alone the same lines of talking down to Gwen, not only because she was a woman, but also because she was a servant and had no authority.

Of the main four (Merlin, Arthur, Morgana), Gwen had never been in a position of true power; either magic-born or of noble-blood. But the scene where she confronts Agravaine in 'The Darkest Hour Part 1' reminds everyone that her quiet strength and reserve is to be revered and was very much a brilliant tool for her to exercise against the egos of noblemen who thought so little of her.

Marrying Arthur and attaining Queenship was only a steppingstone for her to fully exercise her strategizing qualities and quick wit. By not 'giving a damn' to all the baseless things people had to say, of all the hardline decisions she would make as Queen, she was able to fully cement herself in power.

[Verse 2] All they keep asking me (All they keep asking me) Is if I'm gonna be your bride The only kinda girl they see (Only kinda girl they see) Is a one-night or a wife

I'm sure there was some heavy skepticism of Gwen and Arthur's relationship the entirety of season 4, either from Agravaine, or from other nobles of Camelot who couldn't entirely believe that Arthur had fallen in love with a serving girl...

Even amongst their close circle, there must have been some doubt on the longevity of their relationship (especially post- Lancelot du Lac). Truly, only Gwen and Arthur knew the strength of the love between them.

I think at some point, it was more of an open secret that Gwen and Arthur were together. Arthur wasn't entirely secretive about his affections (I mean a gaurd literally caught him sneaking off to Gwen's house in 'His Father's Son' 😂), and even after 'Queen of Hearts', they may have kept it on the down-low, but anyone who knew them well, could tell they were secretly still courting.

Gwen's fellow servants may have pitied her for pining after the prince, and then King, with no ring to show for it; and may have cautioned her to cut him off, before another 'politically valuable' marriage broke her heart.

Arthur may have, conversely, been mocked for letting Gwen pull his heart on a string and told to follow in his father's footsteps and marry advantageously.

However, the fact they both were able to put aside their doubts and marry for the sake of their enduring love, was more of a nod to their individual characteristics of quiet resolve, than trying to prove this 'status quo' wrong.

[Pre-Chorus] I find it dizzying (Yeah, oh, yeah) They're bringing up my history (Yeah, oh, yeah) But you weren't even listening (Yeah, oh, yeah)

OK, but this is such an 'Arthur' thing 😂

Sometimes he's just hilariously obvious to everything else, his impassioned 'I LOVE her' to Uther in 'Queen of Hearts' comes to mind immediately - the boy has eyes only for Gwen!

After the whole shade-Lancelot debacle, cheating rumors, Gwen's banishment and then sudden ascension to the throne, there were probably enough rumors swimming around to fuel traveling bard songs for years lmao

They're 'bringing up Gwen's history', and maliciously, in an effort to rue her destruction, but to Gwen, the only person who she cares about to hear those rumors, literally does not care about them.

Arthur is incredibly single-minded when it comes to his Guinevere, so it's no surprise that he provides all the reassurance she needs to take on the throne 💖

-*-

♥️Maroon♥️

The beat that starts this song off is a steady thrum, a little sensual!, and slowly builds up to the chorus; giving me a sense of longevity, a years-long relationship, and a dynamic that's been rebuilt and restored over and over again.

- and it's clear from the lyrics that this isn't their first rodeo [the lovers], the two them are very much aware of everything they have to lose, and yet… they still embrace all the possibilities of a new dynamic!, with all the grace of a falling star... 💫

Yes…this song is technically *not* a love song: it's really it's more of a nostalgia-washed remembrance of a love long-lost.

But! I still think it's relevant to Mergwen, considering Merlin's immortality and the events and years that passed between them. It's a love song of that remembrance, of holding onto someone because they're the only one left that matters - it’s a love song to the survivors.

I dubbed this song Merlin x Gwen (post-Camlaan) for so many reasons, but most of all for the color - MAROON - (a deep red which represents maturity, courage, passion and an enduring love!)

They are the two survivors of the original four, the ones left to pick up the pieces of Arthur's destiny; the two best candidates to rebuild the Kingdom back to the shining fortress it once was.

Can a friendship remain static, (an understood dynamic) between two people? Of course. But in this case, I think, because of the lost romanticism between the two of them, a friendship can delve deeper, from gently consoling to suddenly electric, and bleed into some other version of themselves that's entirely unfamiliar and terrifying; yet tempting enough to lose themselves in.

Who else better understood the full spectrum of grief and tragedy that buried the Kingdom than Gwen and Merlin? And who else could play an important part in rebuilding what was lost than the two closest to the late King 💜

[Verse 1] When the morning came We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf 'Cause we lost track of time again Laughing with my feet in your lap Like you were my closest friend "How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say "Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how" I see you every day now

The imagery is so vibrant here!

Gwen and Merlin, sitting up late after a council session, her feet in his lap, sweet wine in both of their breaths, recounting some forgotten memory that you had to be there for. And then... a spark ✨

Notice how there’s a pause between “Like you were my [mine]… closest friend.” You can hear the longing in the narrator’s voice, something they can’t even admit to themselves, something they try to deny: they want their best friend.

Rebuilding the kingdom brick by brick, reuniting families, strategizing new allyships, and waging small battles to retain peace: these are all tasks that can only be undertaken with the resolve of a hundred brave knights, seemingly insurmountable - or two close friends who know the kingdom better than anyone.

Finding new purpose again after Arthur, and channeling their grief into purpose, is something that would be much easier with someone who truly understands.

They see each other "every day now” and it’s comforting.

[Chorus] And I chose you The one I was dancing with In New York, no shoes Looked up at the sky and it was The burgundy on my t-shirt When you splashed your wine into me And how the blood rushed into my cheeks So scarlet, it was The mark thеy saw on my collarbone The rust that grew between telephones The lips I used to call home So scarlet, it was maroon

I've written about a small ficlet about this line: "The one I was dancing with" and another analysis of "Dancing With Our Hands Tied" for Mergwen because I go insane for metaphors between dancing and friends-to-lovers 🥹

Being able to free yourself around the person who knows you the best in the entire world is so special; it brings to mind the feeling of home.

The One can be real and true, but afterwards, when the curtains close and you’re left alone to wish for more time… a second chance can be found in the most unexpected of places.

Gwen had already chosen The One in Arthur, her perfect match, the King of her Heart, and the man whom she trusted the most.

Then tragedy struck, and those short few years of their marriage and rulership seemed like nothing without him by her side.

It was devastating.

But then there was Merlin.

For both of them, it was a second chance, a new beginning but not a rewrite to their story. Memories can't be replaced or put away; instead, it's very important to cherish the time they had with Arthur, and persevere after him, despite his passing.

Reminds of different lines from a different song by blondie: “There'll be happiness after you/ But there was happiness because of you/ Both of these things can be true”

Their little moments outlined here: "how the blood rushed into my cheeks/ the mark they saw on my collarbone/ the rust that grew between telephones/ the lips I used to call home" give off the sense of a slowly engulfing love; between a Queen and a Court Sorcerer.

For me, the line "the rust that grew between telephones" is especially significant: I'm sure they must have kept up a correspondence somehow, with Merlin traveling all over the five kingdoms to restore peace diplomatically and Gwen giving him directives while reviving a personal connection with her people.

It's a gorgeous image of them sending letters back and forth, filled with funny anecdotes, shared moments and even painful memories; and all the while an unfamiliar sense of longing builds up...

Can this be the new beginning?

Can we begin again?

[Verse 2] When the silence came We were shaking, blind and hazy How the hell did we lose sight of us again? Sobbing with your head in your hands Ain't that the way shit always ends? You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us I feel you, no matter what The rubies that I gave up

There were fights, there was uncertainty "blind and hazy" that distorted the image of the young people they once were, and the strength they had to build up in the meanwhile.

They were changed definitively now, no longer their younger, bubblier counterparts from more than ten years ago. And as circumstances hollowed out a deep-set melancholia, so did they, sharpening and reforming into more mature, yet more bitter versions of themselves.

Can love ring true ever again?

From someone who knows the hidden reasons for everything you do, and in crystal-clear clarity, it will hurt the most to hear "I'm not ready" from their lips.

The political drama, the gossip, the baseless rumors, all boiling over into lines crossed, harsh words, and a chasm of grief reopened.

Losing him would be like revisiting the past - again.

Losing her would be giving up on everything he once believed in.

I find “Ain’t that the way shit always ends” especially poignant, and references the cycle of tragedy and rebirth that Arthuriana holds dear. More than anyone else in their world, Gwen and Merlin bitterly understand that this is how it always ends, but does that mean, they are never allowed happiness in that 'meanwhile'?

"You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway" THIS LINE - why is it so BRIGHT, Merlin standing in the hallway outside of the Queen's chambers, relegated as servant again. For Gwen, the past and the present are colliding again, and miserably.

But they overcome it, the scarlet indignity of the past washes over them, and leaves them in a vibrant MAROON.

[Bridge] And I wake with your memory over me That's a real fucking legacy, legacy (It was maroon) And I wake with your memory over me That's a real fucking legacy to leave

“The Mark of Nimueh”

Here, the double meaning of maroon comes to play - the deep red bleed of maroon melts into an actual, physical marooning.

You are Alone.

What better way to describe an immortal man, countless loves gained and lost, than as marooned? Drowning in a sea of his own endless and condemning memory…

Merlin is Marooned.

But the Legacy lives on because of him, the legend of King Arthur, Queen Guinevere and the Knights of the Round Table live on through his constant remembering of the story to a modern audience.

The love lives on too.

The act of remembering for the sake of love, is a powerful theme on the show, and I think a very specific to this song. The narrator remembers better times, gladder times, and although it pains them to do so, revisits those times with the same mindless misery of reopening a wound. It hurts to remember, but it hurts good.

The remembering of Gwen, white in her hair, creases in her eyes, the woman he got to get old and gray with, is immortalized in his memory for his and Arthur’s sake.

He remembers her, and loves her eternally ♥️

-*-

❌Antihero 🏳️

“An Antihero” “A Traitor” “A Savior”

I don’t necessarily believe that Merlin fits the exact mold of an antihero, but the contradictory qualities and actions he sometimes heralds, and all of the decisions that lead to the climax of season 5 gives some weight to the word.

Merlin is cunning, sometimes hasty, compassionate and sometimes cruel; but he leads with the idea that he makes the right decision most of the time, which propels his destiny to dizzying heights and astonishing lows.

As an added metaphor, Merlin's good fight with destiny always reminded me of Jacob wrestling with God for control of his own fate, and eventually coming up as the victor with injuries to prove it

As an audience to Merlin’s struggle with destiny, we expect to see some formula of character development emerge over the 10 years we share with him.

Merlin expresses this endearing naïveté and strong sense of justice from seasons 1-2 which takes a very dramatic turn in season 5, something that isn't exactly easy to understand or rationalize for the viewer.

How did Merlin go from:

“The Mark of Nimueh”

A burning desire to do good to:

“The Dsir”

A bitter resignation to the way things have to be...

[Verse 1] I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser Midnights become my afternoons When my depression works the graveyard shift, all of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

Grief

Grief is one plausible explanation for Merlin's downfall and overall resolve to just trudge along by the time the finale swings around.

Merlin, more than anyone, has the full knowledge of all those he's lost, and all he has left to lose; and he unfairly blames himself for all of these losses.

Will, Balinor, Freya, Lancelot, Elyan, Daegal, Aithusa, Morgana, Arthur, and so many others, the list goes beyond a bulleted 'survive/deceased' on a paper.

Merlin has lost so many to his crisis of destiny.

At around 18 he was given the power of a God, or maybe the illusion of one, and chased the fickle call of destiny for the rest of his life because it was the only constant he knew after enduring tragedy after tragedy. The tragedy of Morgana’s evil, Lancelot’s sacrifices, Balinor’s Death; all pivotal moments that further grated on Merlin’s soul for being so powerless, so helpless to completely control his destiny.

How can one man, even if given a shoddy 'blueprint' of Albion, have the capability to follow through?

When his destiny continued to allude him, whether or not this was by the choices he made, Merlin became all the more determined to control the course as much as he could: he would save Arthur from himself, damn it all! Unfortunately, the random draw of fate is not so kind to impassioned gods…

[Pre-Chorus] I should not be left to my own devices They come with prices and vices I end up in crisis (Tale as old as time) I wake up screaming from dreaming One day, I'll watch as you're leaving 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

When Merlin is left to his own devices, he is given the fate of the entire kingdom to juggle himself; this is an alienating responsibility, and every decision he makes comes with a hard price.

As seen in 'The Crystal Cave' knowing one's future, preventing a future, creating a future are all threads of fate that are pretty much impossible to untangle. Who is to really know the exact consequences of every choice? But Merlin burdens himself with the thought that he should always know.

The course of destiny, or at the very least Arthur's, is described as a circle of fate, a never-ending cycle.

It's a 'tale as old as time' now, a legendary sequence of events that drives young people to do better, and to learn from Merlin's and Arthur's mistakes.

But to Merlin these were moments he lived and breathed through, where his capacity for goodwill might've failed him or his courage to keep going might've faltered; the extent of which is unknown to a modern audience.

Merlin's life story, spilled on a page like blood, is a 'tale as old as time' but a continually revived memory for him. That is the price of keeping Arthur the 'Once and Future King' through oral tradition, Merlin must pay the price of remembering him too.

"One day, I'll watch as you're leaving/ 'Cause you got tired of my scheming/ (For the last time)"

The day his friends realized the true extent of authority he had over their lives was one Merlin dreaded; he hated to be revealed as the one who might've pushed the fates of Camelot one way or another with everyone else oblivious. He even revealed his magic to Arthur in literally the very last moment, for fear of being exposed as a sorcerer but also the fear of how people would change how they viewed him.

In season 1, he was much more open to revealing his magic, mostly to Gaius' chagrin, but later he would grow comfortable with the idea of keeping big secrets from his friends, even his best friend. It was just too terrifying, the not knowing.

Although Arthur did his best to pry, Merlin always shielded the worst parts of himself and his past, (Balinor's death, Freya's death, his involvement in Uther's death), in the reckless hope that destiny need not be substantiated with trust.

True, Arthur was on a pedestal, constantly in the public eye, and Merlin knew everything about him as consequence of being his servant and constant companion. But does that necessarily mean he should've kept all of his self hidden? There's no right answer.

[Chorus] It's me, hi I'm the problem, it's me At teatime, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

The 'tag line' of the chorus really hits hard for me as a motif of Merlin's life.

From the very beginning he was denoted as the 'antihero'; not exactly the shining and glorious protagonist Arthur was always meant to be, or the dark phoenix of a villain Morgana became, but something stubbornly in-between. (Of course, veering towards Good).

The very nature of him having to keep his magic a red-tape secret meant that Merlin's actions would always be shrouded in dark, no matter the intention. Curing Gwen's father could lead to Gwen's death sentence, saving the Kingdom meant poisoning Morgana and an attempt to bring back magic to Camelot could mean emotionally manipulating Arthur with Uther's life, and other examples...

I think one of the most divisive decisions he made was denouncing Magic in an attempt to kill Mordred, a choice he blamed for all the trouble the knight rued later on in season 5. Merlin's ulterior motives and troubled choices, usually supported or condemned by Kilgarrah or Gaius, lead to some patchy decision-making, and we rarely see Merlin make decisions from a place of hope rather than fear (saving Aithusa's egg, bringing Morgana to the druids and warning Arthur about Valiant for the first time).

As the series wound down, it was difficult, at times, to root for the 'antihero'.

But I, and the rest of his captive audience, still rooted for him, regardless...

-*-

👁️You’re On Your Own, Kid 👁️

It’s the Greek tragedy of the everyday, losing your hero.

How does it feel to really look someone in the eyes and come to the realization that they aren’t your role model anymore? That the flaws, usually buried under devotion or a powerful affection come up in a sudden rush that almost makes you sick.

And all those things they’ve done, embraced and hurt, are woven into who they are. Flaws that reverberate through your life, long after they’re gone.

That echoing ‘telephone pole’ sound pulsing the background is the embodiment of that emotion, something so hard to describe. A visceral, and distanced running-and-returning feeling that has you calling up your past indefinitely.

And it's no surprise that I equated this song to Arthur...

One of the most powerful themes on the show is the idea of Legacy; whether it is decaying, glorious, corrupted, repeating or born anew, the idea of leaving behind a memory or imprint of the life you led is something that influenced every character on the show, importance to the plot aside.

Morgana and Arthur share a similarity in that they are equal parts intrigued and repulsed by their father's legacy: at one point each Pendragon avows never to lead a life like he did, at another, reverts their promise. It's cliche in the nature of a self-fulfilling prophecy; it's nearly impossible for them to escape the trap of their own heritage as it is for them to remake it.

In the series, Arthur always spoke of destiny in a distanced manner, he had been trained to fulfill the quota since he was born, and he was much less impassioned of a 'golden age' than the day-to-day chivalry he could show his men.

“Arthur’s Bane Part 1”

I'll never stop thinking about this conversation specifically! For me, it encapsulates this whole 'tug-of-war' between loyalty and legend, destiny and reality.

Here, Arthur gently but firmly reiterates to Merlin what he believed his destiny was always meant to be: living and dying by the side of his knights. It's always been Arthur's destiny to die on the battlefield, not for any particular choice Merlin might've made, but because Arthur would rather it be that way.

The moments he put his life out on the limb for them, feeling the rush of adrenaline as he swung his sword of justice in real-time; and the blow of injuries he sometimes felt he deserved for sins his lineage implied; this was the legacy he lived and died for. Something Merlin never really understood, even after 10 years by his side.

Towards the end of the series, he constantly reminded Merlin of how much friendship, loyalty and love for his people meant to him, so much more than the title 'Savior of Albion' ever did. The legacy he built came from his eye-to-eye interactions with his people, fighting by their sides, putting himself into the thick of battle long after he was supposed to retire and just being there.

He came to realize that the legacy he was destined to build meant kneeling down and bowing before Camelot as a servant, a much gentler admiration than the roaring thousands Merlin intended for him to reign over. This was the very antithesis of Uther's legacy.

The soundwave from YOYOK, courtesy of wavevisual./com, clearly shows how much bigger the emotion and instrumentals get towards the end of the song.

It's not all at once, but a very gradual expansion, and I just thought it a neat visual for how the lyrics seemed to expand too

[Verse 1] Summer went away, still, the yearning stays I play it cool with the best of them I wait patiently, he's gonna notice me It's okay, we're the best of friends Anyway I hear it in your voice, you're smoking with your boys I touch my phone as it fits your face I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out There's just one who could make me stay All my days

Season 1 - I'm Yearning! 😭 Anyway...

Arthurs’ always had the responsibility and expectation of 'playing it cool with the best of them', and if he's unable to keep up, it could very well mean the end of his life on the line in any scenario.

When we were first introduced to him, he's this cocky prince with a big sword and an attitude problem; and an insecurity big enough to match.

He's stumbling, looking for approval in the wrong places, guarding his ill-got reputation in court, and sneers at friendship with a servant. Through Merlin's help, he's able to lessen the sting of disapproval and invest all of the energy of his swagger into something much more substantial: a genuine respect and comradery.

I always likened the line 'I wait patiently, he's gonna notice me' to a younger Arthur constantly looking for approval and sense of belonging from Uther.

Spending hours before sunrise beating the black and blue out of a training dummy, his face glowing bright on the tournament field from the smallest nod of approval.

Burning away any scant reminder of his mother with a feigned indifference; at any moment, his posture, an unconscious gesture, his laugh, could draw Uther back into a bitter remembrance. The silver sigil, her worn wedding ring, rare mementos he tossed into dark corners of his chambers to forget, forget, until one day, years later, he's able to look into the likeness in his mirror without a touch of self-hatred at the memory he sees imprinted there.

Even after Uther passes, Arthur holds onto the hope that he will be noticed and commended for the changes he makes to his father's lineage. Most times he's able to ignore the nagging feeling that he'll never be enough, and with friends enough to populate a round table, Uther's looming shadow can slink off into the dark.

[Pre-Chorus] From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I waited ages to see you there I search the party of better bodies Just to learn that you never cared

From an awkward youth with a breastplate too big for his boasts, to the Man he grew up into, Arthur has become the King his father could never live up to in comparison.

But he does not truly believe it.

For all of Merlin's resolve in a glorious, endless destiny, he was always a true believer in Arthur's distinction from Uther. He was the better man by far, and the better Legacy, but Arthur still shirked from this fulfilment in the fear that his father's expression would be lost to the ashes of his blazing fire.

His determination to see him again on Beltane was borne out of a desire to be enough, that no one really understood the true depth of. This wasn't the first time Arthur had sacrificed his own integrity, and sometimes the safety of his friends and loved ones, all on the line for something he would never entirely attain.

If Excalibur was the epitome of the Arthurian legend to the modern audience (or the most well-known motif) than Uther was to Arthur, the embodiment of that same visceral Hope.

When Uther said, "I will not let you destroy all that I have built!" Arthur may have finally come to the realization that he must destroy that very center of himself, the child still eagerly awaiting a word from his father, in order to rebuild the Kingdom in his own renewed Legacy. To build he had to destroy. To take up the helm of power, he must cast away.

[Chorus] You're on your own, kid You always have been

How isolating are these legends, these bigger than life imaginings of our heroes from Arthuriana? How endless and universal they must be, in order to hold the faint hopes, wishes and prayers of millions in an eternal safe-keeping?

And Arthur, at the center of all of it.

Two sides of the same coin is all well and good, but truthfully, there's one man standing in the spotlight and the other in the dark; and the white light is a harsher halo of judgement than the darker shadows of self-condemnation…

These lines remind me of that pivotal scene from 'The Moment of Truth', where Arthur gave the villagers a reason to keep battling Kanen’s gang,

"And if you fall, you fall fighting for the noblest of causes: fighting for your very right to survive! And when you're old and grey, you'll look back on this day, and you'll know you earned the right to live every day in between! So you fight! For your family! For your friends! For Ealdor!"

It gives me goosebumps every time I rewatch it: the misshapen original round table, made up of peasants and paltry substitutes for noblemen, but all the braver in Arthur’s eyes because of their steadfast belief in the world he promised them. And later, in the 'Coming of Arthur', he comes to resurrect the ancient tradition of a round table for a renewned success.

But it's very lonely being this 'epic hero', and with Merlin's determination to keep the truth about his magic away from Arthur for as long as possible, the destinies of two is really the destiny of one (at least to the public eye).

I've always wondered to what extent Arthur acknowledges that his life and acts of bravery will 'live long in the minds of men.' Was that just an oft-repeated phrase to him? A comfortable armor of nobility, while he went off to fight in battles, each time thinking it might be his last?

I think we get a partial answer in the very last episode of the series, in the very last words he utters to Merlin.

"Everything you've done. I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the kingdom you helped me build..."

Merlin: "You'd have done it without me."

Arthur: "Maybe..."

The King's lonely passage as Once and Future ruler of Camelot, was never something he believed he'd done on his own. He continuously acknowledged all the work of his subjects, Merlin his closest friend, and Guinevere the love of his life, had done for him, and credits their bravery, loyalty and compassion as the true tenets of the Kingdom that came to be.

He was never really worried about the state of the Kingdom after he passed (after marrying Gwen), knowing that the epitomized Glory of Camelot was not something he had solely come to encompass.

It's bittersweet, it's admirable, and it's a very inevitable cycle of rise and fall for Arthur Pendragon to hold hope for, as predictable as his own waning breaths.

I think it's the most beautiful thing in the world, that he died believing that his Legacy came from the people he surrounded himself with, rather than the high-and-mighty version of the legend he came to represent. It's a very clear deviation from the prideful man he was in season 1.

[Bridge] From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes I gave my blood, sweat, and tears for this I hosted parties and starved my body Like I'd be saved by a perfect kiss The jokes weren't funny, I took the money My friends from home don't know what to say I looked around in a blood-soaked gown And I saw something they can't take away 'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned Everything you lose is a step you take So, make the friendship bracelets, take the moment and taste it You've got no reason to be afraid

I think these lines of the bridge are pretty on point in terms of Arthur's stages of life, but oh! :( It hurts me as a viewer to remember all these specific moments of betrayal, growth and everything in between.

As the successor of Uther, he had no obligation to entirely change the status quo. But he poured his ‘blood, sweat and tears’ into this!

He ‘hosted parties’: feasts, on his birthday and celebrated with all of his friends and family; while fighting away the feelings of unhappiness knowing it was also the anniversaries of his parents’ deaths.

He believed that a great romance ♥️ with Guinevere would save him with a ‘perfect kiss’ even when all others urged him to let her go.

He was a great romantic, a genuine friend and a faithful King, who never expected to be be anything more than a good memory in the minds of his people.

He would’ve never! expected all of the magic, hope and wonder modern audiences would come to project onto his legend, but I wish, more than anything, that Arthur might’ve had the chance to see the endless love in how the world has grown to memorialize him, a final and lasting tribute to his character Merlin undertook as a way to say, I understand I understand I understand

When he ‘looked around in a blood-soaked gown’ he saw the the ragged Camelot army heralding him as the King after pulling Excalibur from the stone.

He sees Gwen smiling back at him, as bright as a spring flower, after she was crowned Queen by his side.

In his last moments, he sees Merlin’s face as a beacon of hope and reassurance that his Kingdom will not falter, while those he loves still walk the earth.

And that ‘something they can’t take away’? That legacy?

He sees the Once and Future, without him.

And he knows it will go on.

So yes! ‘Make the friendship bracelets and take the moment and taste it’ because every moment he shared with his friends and family were held as dearly to him as a long-prophesied legend.

Arthur came to understand that those moments were not mere passing seconds, but something so much more ever-lasting and precious, a legacy within themselves and a confirmation that he had done the right thing, he had loved and lost and he was happy with leaving it all behind if he knew it would outlive him.

He prophesied the future of Camelot by doing everything to ensure it’s continuation without him, and therefore, ensured it’s immortality: a comforting thought for the far horizon as a dying man says his last goodbyes.

Gwen’s warm gaze and soft laugh, the creases in Merlin’s eyes as he fires back a quick jab, Morgana’s slow smile and rare words of praise - those memories! were what he held dear in his last moments.

A warring fate and fickle destiny, a creeping evil and and an unfortunate circumstance may have ensured his death, but Arthur’s stubborn hope against it all dares to reassure the audience of something he learned through great trial and tragedy.

[Chorus] You're on your own, kid Yeah, you can face this You're on your own, kid You always have been

Yes, “You’re on your own, kid”

But with the glorified ‘myth and magic’ of the legends, comes the gentle reminder that he was never truly alone, and left behind a great memory that was only ensured through the love he gave and was given in return.

A love that ‘always has been’, and in it’s brilliant simplicity, epitomized the Legend he came to be.

And in turn,

so you, will always be remembered too ✨

-*-

Thank you so so much for reading 💖 I really appreciate it :)

@taylorswift @taylornation you guys wanna join the immortal fandom? Lol

The link to Part 2 (final) will be here! (once I finish it lol)

[cyarskj1899]

The 50 best songs of 2022

NME5th December 2022

“Bloody hell, it’s nearly Christmas? Well that year just flew by didn’t it?” Hell no. We’d usually be aghast at the fleeting nature at the passage of time at this point in the calendar – especially in the past few quiet years – but 2022 was anything but short. Even festival season already feels like an age ago; but hey, at least we had one. RIP to the COVID buzzkill years, may we never see their like again.

You were out there in the fields with your arms around your mates, in the venues with the pints flying through the air, and in the clubs with your feet suspiciously stuck to the floor. Sure there’s a lot of ongoing shithousery afoot, but when you look back to 2022 you’ll remember getting back to doing what you love and the tunes that helped you do it. Just like you, so many songs were larger than life and raring to get out and be heard. Here’s a definitive list of the 50 best songs that truly made our year. Enjoy….

Andrew Trendell, News Editor

Words by: Alex Flood, Ali Shutler, Andy Brown, Andrew Trendell, Ben Jolley, Derrick Tan, El Hunt, Ella Kemp, Erica Campbell, Gemma Samways, Hannah Mylrea, Hollie Geraghty, Jake Tucker, Jenessa Williams, Karen Gwee, Kyann-Sian Williams, Max Pilley, Nick Levine, Rhian Daly, Sam Moore, Sophie Williams, Thomas Smith and Will Richards

50. Jamie xx – ‘Let’s Do It Again’

Marking his first new solo release in two years, Jamie xx’sApril return coincided with the very start of the first proper post-lockdown summer. Recalling the transcendent highs of his 2015 album ‘In Colour’ and built around an uplifting vocal sample from Bobby Barnes’ soul belter ‘Super High On Your Love’, the dopamine-filled ‘Let’s Do It Again’ became an ecstatic singalong 2022 festival anthem. Welcome back to partying. BJ

Best bit: The clever way that Jamie winds the track back down to a near-silence four-and-half-minutes in, only for each sonic element to be layered up again: building up the claps, drums, twinkling keys and soaring synths before one final euphoric release. You love to see it.

49. Tomorrow X Together – ‘Thursday’s Child Has Far To Go’

This bright, bouncy bop – performed by Tomorrow X Together’s synth-pop unit Soobin, Beomgyu and Taehyun – uplifted spirits with its straightforward, feel-good melodies. The trio exuded positivity and optimism for the future following an emotional break-up, with Beomgyu’s “today’s hashtag: ‘Break up’ / Then paste ‘glow up’ next to it” line proving a stroke of genius. DT

Best bit: Soobin’s breathy post-chorus mantra “I won’t cry again” feels like a reassuring invisible hug.

48. The Killers – ‘Boy’

Brandon Flowers told NME in the summer that this gem provided “the impetus” for The Killers’ 2021 folky triumph‘Pressure Machine’, but was left off the album due to its new wave shimmer. For a leftover, it bangs: ‘Boy’ is The Killers at their sweet, synthy and streetwise best, strutting from the gutter to the dancefloor. AT

Best bit: That little nod to Erasure’s ‘A Little Respect’. Cheeky cheeky!

47. Angel Olsen – ‘All The Good Times’

Olsen’s sixth album ‘Big Time’was written amid a turbulent, tragic time: during its production, the US musician came out to and then lost both her parents in quick succession. Laced with grief and hope for new love, the record’s opening track was as epic and emotional as they come. TS

Best bit: The song’s finale, where Olsen’s gentle strum is joined by a swelling horn section that ratchets up the emotion.

46. TSHA – ‘Giving Up’

A highlight of the Ninja Tune-signee’s debut album ‘Capricorn Sun’, ‘Giving Up’ was TSHA at her very peak. A fizzing drum’n’bass beat paved the way for Mafro’s warped vocal line to run wild and free. A song equally suitable for the club, home listening and summer BBQs, it proved TSHA’s ability as a producer with wide-ranging appeal. WR

Best bit: When that delightful, joyous synth line comes in at the one-minute mark.

45. Foals – ‘2am’

‘Back to basics’ songs can often be seen as a negative regression for artists, but on ‘2am’ and their seventh album ‘Life Is Yours’,Foals simply returned to what they do best. Written in the depths of a lockdown winter, this ecstatic indie hit pined for human connection and getting sloshed with friends again. This summer, its wish came beautifully true. WR

Best bit: Frontman Yannis Philippakis’ vocals belting out as his most enthused in years.

44. LE SSERAFIM – ‘Impurities’

LE SSERAFIM got their band name from an anagram of the phrase “I’m fearless” – so it’s not surprising that they understand that confidence can be drawn from all manner of places. On this cool, ethereal electro R&B song, co-written by member Huh Yunjin, they calmly declared that one’s flaws are actually glorious testaments to life. You’ll be similarly convinced by the track’s sassy hook: “Impurities, show you my impurities.” DT

Best bit: The hypnotic falsetto harmonies – one from Chaewon and Kazuha, another from Yunjin and Sakura – in the pre-chorus.

43. Sunmi – Heart Burn’

Sunmi’s best songs are undeniably the co-productions she’s made with frequent collaborator FRANTS (‘Narcissism’, ‘Tail’). But the ex-Wonder Girl’s dreamy ‘Heart Burn’ – reminiscent of ’70s Fleetwood Mac – ventured out of that comfort zone to rank among her best releases yet. Its flirty lyrics (“I am getting hot, oh, my!”), delivered in her raspy vocal style, matched the growing blaze of a midsummer romance. DT

Best bit: Those heavy-handed guitar strums after the bridge that lead us to the track’s fiery climax.

42. Liam Gallagher – ‘Everything’s Electric’

“Underneath the red sun, everything’s electric,” Liam Gallagher sings on the bold centrepiece of his excellent third solo album, ‘C’mon You Know’. The track certainly lived up to that big declaration, sizzling with classic arms-aloft anthemics and a chorus that was simultaneously simple and life-affirmingly massive. If there were any lingering doubts left about LG’s solo prowess, this song blasted them all away once and for all. RD

Best bit: The helicopter-whirring opening riff that signals that the king of British rock’n’roll is back – and he means serious business.

41. Beabadoobee – ‘The Perfect Pair’

So much of Beabadoobee’scareer has been built on the idea of ripping up the pop rulebook and simply doing what the hell she wants – sugar-sweet vocals would sit alongside screeching guitars to speak to a younger generation that feels stifled. But ‘The Perfect Pair’ changed everything again: a holiday-inflected croon and sighing strings made the backbone of one of Bea’s most restrained tracks yet; a break-up song that accepted defeat and just swayed in abandon. Beautiful. EK

Best bit: The cinematic outro where strings take over and Bea just lets the melody do its thing.

40. Yungblud – ‘The Funeral’

Donny punk tearaway Yungbludstruggled with the worldwide attention that followed his second album ‘Weird!’. But rather than bow to other people’s expectations, he fought back with his defiant self-titled follow-up; its swaggering emo opener ‘The Funeral’ his confident mission statement. Flickering between self-hatred and self-love, this flamboyant rager twisted uncertainty into a jubilant celebration, backed by the sort of guitars that would make The Smiths’ Johnny Marrjealous. AS

Best bit: The Gen-Z motivational speech: “But do you hate yourself? Well, that’s alright. Do you love yourself? Well, that’s alright.”

39. Fontaines D.C. – ‘I Love You’

In a twist no-one saw coming, the most exhilarating love song of 2022 was inspired by a country rather than a person. Billed as Fontaines D.C.’s “first overtly political song”, this swirling post-punk epic saw frontman Grian Chatten interrogate his status as an Irishman based in England, laying bare a perpetual tug-of-war between guilt and pride. Impassioned and deeply affecting, Chatten’s performance here grew steadily in intensity throughout. GS

Best bit: The knockout-punch of the final chorus, which climaxes with Chatten howling: “I had to be the fucking man.”

38. GloRilla and Cardi B – ‘Tomorrow 2’

GloRilla’s immense talent was clear to see on her July single ‘Tomorrow’ – so much so that the Memphis artist quickly earned a fan in rap superstar Cardi B, who hopped on the September remix ‘Tomorrow 2’. The latter was a belter: the duo demonstrated their respective lyrical prowess over sparse, piano-led accompaniment. Best of all, it provided an early glimpse at rap’s next massive star more than keeping up with one of the reigning champs. HM

Best bit: GloRilla’s stellar put-down: “Can’t say your name up in my songs, might not fuck with you tomorrow.” Can’t say she didn’t warn you!

37. Måneskin – ‘The Loneliest’

After winning Eurovision 2021 with the hammering ‘Zitti e Buoni’, the new saviours of rock’n’roll kept the party going with such stadium-sized anthems as ‘Mammamia’ and ‘Supermodel’. Then came ‘The Loneliest’, a brooding ballad that saw the Italian four-piece trade fiery excess for heartbreaking emotion. Despite the restraint that was plastered across Måneskin’s first English language slow jam, ‘The Loneliest’ still bristled with excitement as the rockstars let another side of them shine. AS

Best bit: That guitar solo: let them Italians wail.

36. Gorillaz – ‘New Gold’

In the midst of this year’s scorcher of a summer, Gorillazappeared like a mirage to deliver another legendary collaboration. ‘New Gold’ served up a deliciously psychedelic hook from Tame Impala, while The Pharcyde’s Bootie Brown – who Gorillaz fans recognised from his explosive verse on ‘Dirty Harry’ – spun a bouncy tale of a vain society in freefall. 2022’s best weather may be long behind us, but ‘New Gold’ was a warm ray of sunshine to remember it by.AB

Best bit: Bootie Brown’s second verse, which is packed with throwbacks to ‘Demon Days’.

35. Fred again.. – ‘Danielle (smile on my face)’

Built around a sample of 070 Shake’s 2019 single ‘Nice To Have’ – a tune that Fred Gibson said he “literally listened to every day last year… everywhere, all the time” – ‘Danielle (smile on my face)’ is a classic Fred again.. creation. Emotive lyrics (“Fuck what they say, I’m safe in your arms / And if I die in your arms, there’ll be a smile on my face”), wobbly, bass-driven synths and bombastic beats united as one to form one of 2022’s most tear-jerking bangers. SM

Best bit: When the synths and beats crackle back into life, sparking one last rave in the track’s ecstatic final minute.

34. Wunderhorse – ‘Leader of The Pack’

2022’s best rock song? Wunderhorse, AKA Cornwall-based Pistol actor Jacob Slater, put up a very good fight with the brooding, snarling ‘Leader Of The Pack’. Chugging guitars, crashing drums and gang chorus vocals turned every listen into a rock’n’roll hoedown, with Slater having written the song “as a means of getting even”. Mission accomplished, surely. SM

Best bit: That crunching opening riff: beat that, 2023.

33. Tove Lo – ‘No One Dies From Love’

Tove Lo’s fifth album ‘Dirt Femme’ was packed full of effervescent earworms, but none more so than its jubilant opener ‘No One Dies From Love’. Written when she “was having the fear of ‘What if this love that I have ends?’”, the Swede spun that relatable vulnerability over squelchy synths, driving beats and ‘80s drums. The result? Very real emotions coupled with a sugar-rush instrumental. HM

Best bit: The euphoric, layered vocals that open the first chorus, where Tove belts out: “No one dies from love / Guess I’ll be the first.”

32. FLO – ‘Cardboard Box’

If there was ever any doubt about the current state of UK R&B, then the country’s next best girl band quickly put those suspicions to bed in 2022 with their glistening debut single. A flawlessly synchronised and perfectly-poised track about cutting off a toxic relationship, the London trio’s harmonies and satin-smooth melodies served as a glossy throwback to the golden age of early-00s female empowerment (see: Destiny’s Child and Sugababes). A flow like this is no fluke. HG

Best bit: The sassy bridge that makes you want to waggle a finger and pack up your own cardboard box: “I’ma put your jeans next to the dreams that you sold me.”

31. Piri and Tommy – ‘On & On’

The drum’n’bass-loving Manchester duo are now making scene-leading pop-meets-dance music to soundtrack the kind of wild nights out they used to enjoy as clubbers. “Big night, lost my weed but the beat goes on,” Piri serenely sang while impressively keeping pace with the unrelenting Tommy-produced drums that helped ‘On & On’ truly zip along. SM

Best bit: Piri’s “on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on” will be stuck in your head forever. Sorry!

30. IVE – ‘Love Dive’

Looking back on K-pop in 2022, it’s been the year of rookie girl groups punching far above their weight. Case in point: IVE and their sophisticated seduction anthem ‘Love Dive’. This slice of alluring electro-pop reels you back in again and again, whether it’s to savour the confident, flirtatious lyrics and gorgeous backing melodies, or to pick up on all the sonic flourishes studding the production like diamonds in the rough. KG

Best bit: Wonyoung’s line “Narcissistic, my god, I love it” – knowingly cheeky and delicious every time.

29. The 1975 – ‘Part Of The Band’

Distortion, ambient noise, stream of conscious neurosis, and Matty Healy spilling out the melodic interrogations, “Am I ironically woke? The butt of my joke? Or am I just some post-coke, average, skinny bloke?” this track had it all. ‘Part Of The Band’’sstrong suit was that it’s quieter and more subtle than many of their tracks, but it’s still quintessentially The 1975. With dry, wry millennial humour and apt observations standing, the result will always reward a careful listener. EC

Best bit: The cheeky line, “I like my men like I like my coffee / Full of soy milk and so sweet, it won’t offend anybody“. Same.

28. Bring Me The Horizon – ‘Strangers’

From the moment Bring Medropped ‘Strangers’ during a DJ set at their curated Malta Weekender festival, it became a modern day emo anthem. From the melodramatic opening lines (“Maybe I’ll just be fucked up forever”) through to the snarling angst and a gooey spirit of community that rages throughout. Get together, get low and feel the high. AS

Best bit: That ‘90s nostalgia dragged into 2022

27. Oliver Sim – ‘Hideous’

“I’m ugly…” sang Oliver Sim on the opening moments of ‘Hideous’, his immediately recognisable deep vocal finding a new home outside of The xxfor the first time. An intensely beautiful song that tears the sting out of shame, its subject matter is deeply personal, and rooted in the singer’s HIV-positive status. Here, Sim found freedom in “radical honesty” and power in baring every part of himself – even the aspects that he said feel hideous and hidden. EH

Best bit: The transcendent moment that Jimmy Somerville of Bronski Beats bursts as an ethereal guardian angel.

26. New Jeans – ‘Hype Boy’

In a time where lots of pop groups feel like they’re chasing the same sounds, styles and attitudes, K-pop rookies NewJeans’ debut provided a refreshing change of pace. ‘Hype Boy’, their second release, was the jewel in their crown – its flashes of ‘90s R&B melded with modern pop production an immediately addictive combination, and a chorus so cool and catchy you had no choice but to join the rising four-piece in longing for their “hype boy”. RD

Best bit: Any time the girls sing “take him to the sky-y-y-y-y-y”, an instant skyrocketing high.

25. Omar Apollo – ‘Evergreen’

In October, pop music’s best-kept secret finally broke into the mainstream: Omar Apolloscored his first-ever chart hit with ‘Evergreen’, a ballad of crisp, measured guitar and purposefully subtle drum patterns. This quietly scathing breakup tune built up to a lover walking away and refusing to allow their turned back to become the relationship’s final scene – a change in perspective that became its own kind of revelation. SW

Best bit: Clearly, Apollo wanted an ex to feel the sheer magnitude of his pain. “You didn’t deserve me at all”, he belts out on the bridge, his delivery reaching a near-scream. You tell ‘em, king!

24. Arctic Monkeys – ‘Body Paint’

Let’s be honest, every song onArctic Monkeys’ triumphant seventh record ‘The Car’ might have made this list – but that wouldn’t be fair, would it? We’ll take Alex Turner’s velvet-smooth croon and the accompanying killer chorus on this track anyday. “My teeth are beating and my knees are weak,” he sings in falsetto as ‘Body Paint’ builds to its utterly euphoric ELO-esque orchestral pop breakdown. Same, Alex. Same. AF

Best bit: The anthemic outro, featuring squealing guitars and the repeated refrain: “There’s still a trace of body paint / On your legs and on your arms and on your face.”

23. My Chemical Romance – ‘The Foundations of Decay’

With ‘The Foundations of Decay’, My Chemical Romance’sfiery comeback exceeded every current or ageing emo kid’s wildest dreams. The six-minute triumph starts off as a simmering ballad to atrophy, with a subdued Gerard Waysinging a of a man “tired with age” and ravaged by time – yet when the track finally explodes in rousing choruses, thundering guitar riffs and a gut-punch breakdown, it proves the legendary band was anything but. AB

Best bit: The first explosive chorus – a shot of pure catharsis for fans who waited nine years for that moment.

22. Florence and The Machine – ‘King’

There’s power in how Florence Welch stood tall and fearless in the face of the patriarchy on ‘King’. She has always strung lyrics together like armour, but this remarkable track felt designed to protect herself from the expectation that she should compromise her career in order to raise children. She narrated her experience, and reclaimed it – a revolt against the very idea of doing what you’re told. SW

Best bit: When Welch breaks into an almighty roar; you can picture her throwing out her arms and letting her hair flutter out in the wind alongside a phenomenal, gale-force vocal.

21. WILLOW – ‘Hover Like A Goddess’

Fresh from helping kickstart a pop-punk revival with 2021’s ‘lately i feel EVERYTHING’, the lead single to follow-up record ‘COPINGMECHANISM’ saw Willow trading angst for romance. Driven by an excitable energy, this urgent garage-punk banger celebrated the fact that “every woman deserves to be worshipped”. ‘Hover Like A Goddess’ may channel Bloc Party and The Strokes, but it saw Willow cut party-starting rock’n’roll with her own unique vision. AS

Best bit: Willow embracing the art of a good “oh-ohhh, oh-ohhh”.

20. Beyoncé – ‘Break My Soul’

The first glimpse we got of Beyoncé’s seventh album ‘Renaissance’, ‘Break My Soul’ was a tantalising taster of slick production, massive hooks and beats made straight for the dancefloor. With dual samples of Big Freedia’s ‘Explode’ and Robin S.‘s ’90s classic ‘Show Me Love’, and packed with lyrics that preach self-confidence and joy, ‘Break My Soul’ landed as a modern house classic. HM

Best bit: The sample of Big Freedia’s ‘Explode’, that instructs you to “release ya job… release the stress“. Who are we to disagree?

19. Rosalía – ‘Chicken Teriyaki’

The purity, simplicity, silliness and badassery of this cut from the stellar ‘Motomami’ is a testament to Rosalia’s knack for a hook and a good time. We don’t know what the Spanish pop sensation is singing about and frankly, it doesn’t matter. Throw your phrase book away and let this chugging beast of Latin spirit and reggaeton rhythms consume you. AT

Best bit: Telling your friends that you’re now fluent in Spanish and fiesta

18. Griff & Sigrid – ‘Head On Fire’

Teased via a series of cryptic videos posted on social media, this chart-ready team-up between two of music’s most exciting young talents was as rock-solid as their friendship. When they performed the tune at the BandLab NME Awards 2022 in March, it made for a standout moment – and a triumphant victory lap round one of the country’s greatest gig venues. More, please! AF

Best bit: A short pause for breath before launching into that joyful chorus. Set your watch for a good time.

17. Taylor Swift – ‘Anti-Hero’

The lead single from Swift’s 10th album ‘Midnights’, ‘Anti-Hero’ proved a self-deprecating anthem. Delivering tongue-in-cheek lines over Jack Antonoff’s production (the chorus opener “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me” has spawned scores of memes), the songwriter extraordinaire has done what she does best: turn painfully relatable experiences into a stone-cold banger. HM

Best bit: Love it or hate it, it’s got to be the line that got everyone talking: “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby/And I’m a monster on the hill“…same?

16. Phoenix – ‘Tonight’

As much as the band’s seventh album ‘Alpha Zulu’ pushed the indie-pop masters’ sound forward, its standout moment happened to be a dabble in nostalgia. The deliciously catchy bassline and chorus would have nestled in nicely on their 2009 breakthrough album ‘Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix’, as frontman Thomas Mars and Vampire Weekend’s Ezra Koenig wistfully duet. TS

Best bit: The band told NMEthey’ve always felt a synchronicity with Vampire Weekend, and consider them transatlantic cousins. The song’s middle-eight, where Koenig and Mars trade lines, finds the pair in perfect harmony.

15. Doechii – ‘Persuasive’

The latest signing to the star-making Top Dawg Entertainment, Doechii has opted for a meticulous, patient roll-out where so many other artists rush to ride their early momentum. She already feels like a fully-formed artist bursting with complex visual ideas and diverse musical directions. To be fair, every track feels standout – but the house-tinged ‘Persuasive’ just about nabs the top spot. No wonderSZA jumped aboard for the equally addictive remix. EH

Best bit: When soulful brass gradually creeps into the ether two-thirds of the way through, steadily building up the biggest drop. That, and the abundant air-horns.

14. Kendrick Lamar – ‘N95’

A highlight of ‘Mr Morale & The Big Steppers’, here’s Kendrick Lamar delivering an anti-pop gem with a message to “take off” the fakery and stop looking for external validation. In a lesson to other rappers, Lamar spits for morals rather than boasting over distorted, growling 808s and trap synths. With a dextrous flow and words you can’t ignore, this is why Kendrick is king. KSW

Best bit: In the refrain, the explosive “Bitch…” before the whining response “…you’re outta pocket” makes for a perfect wake-up call.

13. Wet Leg – ‘Angelica’

Indie’s silliest and most fun new gang took us into the highs and lows, dangers and consequences of getting pickled at a house party in one of the standout tracks of their phenomenal debut album. With spiralling riffs, ray-gun sound effects, and a multi-layered central mantra of “good times all the time”, ‘Angelica’ cemented Wet Leg’s place as our new favourite relatable party pals. RD

Best bit: The delectably eye-rolled lines “I don’t wanna follow you on the ‘gram / I don’t wanna listen to your band.”

12. Maggie Rogers – ‘That’s Where I Am’

Coloured with optimism, this track was fuelled by the sense of autonomy that defined Maggie Rogers’ comeback this year. With new production credits and a Harvard Divinity School degree to her name, Rogers created a wild symphony of rebirth on ‘That’s Where I Am’, as she sang of a blossoming love atop ripples of distortion and gleaming keys. It was the sound of Rogers feeling something shift inside of her, and wondering where this new, beautiful thing even came from. SW

Best bit: The giddy relish of the way Rogers delivers the bridge – “You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted / All I ever really wanted was you” – channelling a feeling far beyond her own understanding.

11. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – ‘Wolf’

“Hunger, connection, and wildness” were the words YYY’sKaren O used to describe ‘Wolf’ – a climbing, synth-laden track that keeps its lyrics sparse, embodying the primal nature of not only punk but the track itself. “I’m lost and I’m lonely / I hunger for you only / Don’t leave me now, don’t break the spell,” warned O in a sinister tone, right before the instrumental drop and powerful chorus. It’s a bold glance at the primitive side of human nature from a band able to hold the weight of a song this big. EC

Best bit: O gently singing, “In heaven lost my taste for hello / taste for hell”, before a full orchestra kicks in with urgent strings. Powerful stuff.

10. Megan Thee Stallion – ‘Plan B’

While serving ‘90s New York style hip-hop raunchiness, Megreminded the world of her immaculate lyricism with this declaration of self-love. Teaching women to “love yourself ‘cause this shit can get ugly / That’s why it’s ‘Fuck n****s, get money,’” this is confidence manifest. Just like Lil Kim and Foxy Brown, she stepped into her sex appeal without relying on it to prove naysayers wrong. One-dimensional? Get a grip. This is everything. ‘Plan B’ is Megan Thee Stallion delivering a layered and positive lesson for life. KSW

Best bit: All the candid, empowering quips in a masterclass from Meg.

9. Charli XCX – ‘Beg For You’

A collab between two of the UK pop’s finest, ‘Beg For You’ was always going to be something special. However, chuck in a killer sample – lifted from September’s 2005 hit ‘Cry For You’ – and you’ve got magic on your hands. Rina’s vocals and harmonies feel so essential, you pine for more of her on Charli’sfifth album ‘Crash’, but that’s what you get from top maestros on top of their game. ‘Beg For You’ may have dropped in January, but it was a clear and bold proclamation from Charli and Rina that 2022 would be their year. JT

Best bit: The September sample truly makes the song, but everything comes together for the first chorus.

8. Jockstrap – ‘Concrete Over Water’

‘Concrete Over Water’ presented the Jockstrap musical blueprint in miniature: the poise of Georgia Ellery’s pristine, ravishing vocals, torn asunder by the anarchic hand of producer Taylor Skye. The song sings of the impossible beauty of a bridge-top romantic rendezvous, but Skye scorches the scene with a mutant synth army of math-rock screeches and warped atmospherics. Were Ellery and Skye competing for supremacy? Nah, in this fight we all win. MP

Best bit: Ellery sings “I wanna be there” before the elegiac beauty of the opening caves to hyper-processed mania

7. Steve Lacy – ‘Bad Habit’

Steve Lacy’s first US Number One single felt long overdue. ‘Bad Habit’, taken from the 24-year-old LA artist’s second solo album ‘Gemini Rights’, was the song that propelled the Internet and Kendrick Lamar collaborator to the big time; no doubt aided on its journey to the very top by its massive popularity on TikTok. Showcasing Lacy’s impressive vocal range, his nifty way around a guitar and his tattoo-worthy lyrics (“You can’t surprise a Gemini”), the single has unsurprisingly become Lacy’s biggest hit to date. After all, some bad habits are just too good to kick. SM

Best bit: “It’s biscuits, it’s gravy, babe” – the most delicious lyric of the year?

6. Rina Sawayama – ‘This Hell’

Sawayama is one of the smartest pop stars we have, and ‘This Hell’ is her wittiest and most undeniable tune yet. Who else would think to eviscerate the anti-queer rhetoric spouted by extreme religious groups with a spangly country banger inspired by Shania Twain? Rina, that’s who! And with a belter that’s tongue-in-cheek and subversive, but also outrageously good fun. NL

Best bit: “Get in line, pass the wine, bitch / We’re going straight to hell!”

5. Arctic Monkeys – ‘There’d Better Be A Mirrorball’

After the space-age dabblings on 2018’s ‘Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino’, Arctic Monkeys returned to Earth on the heavenly and lush launch single from seventh album ‘The Car’. Known for being cheeky in his early work to escapist in his latter days, Alex Turner came across as truly earnest, open, romantic and human for the first time on this slow-dance waltzing beauty. “Don’t get emotional, that ain’t like you,” croons the frontman, inviting us in. It’s the Monkeys, Jim, but not as you know them. AT

Best bit: “So do you wanna walk me to the caaaa-aaaar?” You drive on ahead, Alex – we’ll float there.

4. Eliza Rose & Interplanetary Criminal – ‘B.O.T.A. (Baddest Of Them All)’

The summer’s ultimate rave anthem. First released in early June with modest ambitions, it soon became a hit as welcome blaring out of stadium PAs and spicing up ITV2 montages as it did in the festival fields and clubs. By early September, the ‘90s-indebted hit had climbed to Number One in the UK Singles Charts, capping off a spectacular rise. TS

Best bit: The opening melody, a delightfully simple and catchy hook that floats all the way to the song’s conclusion.

3. Harry Styles – ‘As It Was’

It’s hard not to tumble into the vast emotional depths of ‘As It Was’ and look beyond everything else that made this song such a triumph. Change is a constant beneath the track’s heart-raising BPM and twinkling melodies: here, Harry Styles’empathetic songwriting saw him fight for stability amid breakups and personal upheavals, finding strength in a renewed relationship with himself. It’s a quietly beautiful thing, then, that it became his biggest hit to date, proving that opening yourself up to the world doesn’t always have to be a risk. SW

Best bit: So much of the feeling is in the instrumental: some peppy guitar lines, and the crescendo of tubular bells, less of a breakdown than the sound of a heart skipping a beat.

2. Paramore – ‘This Is Why’

After five years, Paramore slid back in with a groove so heavy, swaggering and sleazy, any talk of hiatus was immediately forgotten (not that they’d care, as Hayley Williams croons sweetly at the start, “if you have an opinion / maybe you should shove it”). Her voice is equally exhausted and exhilarated, leaning into its full power as guitarist Taylor York and drummer Zac Farro somehow manage to play tight and loose simultaneously. With its slow crawling synth and cymbals eventually erupting into a full funk fest, ‘This Is Why’ gave us just what we wanted: an innovative pop-punk moment from a band already responsible for so many. EC

Best bit: Williams repeating “One step beyond your door / Might as well have been a free fall” meditatively before crashing back in with an echoing “And I’m floating like a cannonball”. Chills.

1. Beyoncé – ‘Cuff It’

Beyoncé is of course no stranger to creating enduring anthems. From ‘90s R&B belters with Destiny’s Child (‘Independent Woman’, ‘Say My Name’ to ‘00s earworms (‘Crazy In Love’, ‘Irreplaceable’), powerhouse ballads (‘Halo’), to the poignant and political (‘Formation’), the superstar is responsible for smashes eternally etched into the public pshyche than most artists could even dare to dream of. And in 2022, ‘Cuff It’ joined these ranks.

Taken from Beyoncé’s brilliant seventh album ‘Renaissance’, this funk-laden earworm is a triumph. With a Grammy nomination (for Best R&B Song) and a viral TikTok dance, it should be a government mandated requirement for this celebration of letting loose, falling in love and “gettin’ fucked up” to be played at least once on all future nights out. Keir Starmer, shove this in your manifesto.

With a bridge bigger than the Golden Gate, slinky strings, NSFW saucy lyrics, and the disco flare that a Nile Rodgersassist always brings, ‘Cuff It’ is total ecstasy and an unexpected gift to the pop canon of all time, let alone 2022. HM

Best bit: The first time we get that joyous post-chorus and Beyoncé sings: “Bet you you’ll see far / Bet you you’ll see stars.” Floor-filling euphoria.

Sent from my iPhone

[truehandspottery]

In my beginings... there was the open water ripples Our Sun lifting shadows Earth changing to gold This moment's gentle speaking wind reminding us to tilt towards dawns inner fold In the ever newness I accepted nature, its voices, its me-ness The constant offers rooted in times perfect knowing intent sense The challenges, mystery's, spinning coin flip change where the Edge has its own potential touching every phase I belong to remains intense Nothing is ever black white in the colors brought by love I;; walk the forest as it holds my spirit in its gentle giving glove I built a new oven the other day for cooking and making breads and such An full grown mature male Eagle landed on my house yesterday morning I sought to release a wandering dragon fly tapping at the inside windows of my home... The red dawn came to my shore as it always does, the leaves continue to turn in a colored life simlar to the Seas moving foams Tea in a single mans silence Breath Memory A telling call to loves path inside of me Feeling all that I belong to as a simple paradise i knew since before The lapping water ebbs, distant genetics alive in joy's world Sailing Oceans as they helped me slip away to find every perfect current in a gentle unseen dance commited to its own twirl. I dressed hours ago before the stars left, walked to the garden to see who visited this quiet space i share with the eternity of the emphemeral Became the witness once more among the dreams shifting inside of me That shimmering mirror, a intimate song, Life as a diamond faith tied to a simple sigh.... I reached out with a glance... Touching a wondrous and continous start as the brightest Sun light enters my heart then eyes. H....

[mechanical-sunchild]

bI hope you don’t mind, but I got some advice to ask of you. Haha, been a while since I’ve done that huh? This whole thing’s gonna require a lot of explanation so be warned, this is gonna be long, sorry! 

So I’ve been practicing Witchcraft more actively this last year or so, and in particular I’ve taken an interest in Pop Culture Magic. Mainly just in an “Oh! Seems neat!” Kinda way. But recently, pretty much right after discovering Welcome Home actually(even predating my Barnaby ‘link if I’m not mistaken!), I became fascinated by the idea of Wally as a PCM spirit: what sort of offerings I’d give, what spells one might call on him for, things of that nature. And very recently, last night i believe, i actually decided to do something with that idea.

I won’t go into much detail, because it’s not essential to what I’m asking, but long story short: I successfully contacted Wally in spirit form(whether it’s *my* Wally I’m not entirely sure, but that’s what i was attempting to do), had a conversation via pendulum, and, after promising to paint a picture of him in return, convinced him to do a tarot reading with me about my canon/timeline/whatever you wanna call it. He seemed a bit hesitant to talk with me at first, giving me a “maybe/I don’t know/you shouldn’t be asking this” when asked if he wanted to talk but a hesitant “no” when I asked if he wanted me to end the summoning. Overall he seemed inthusiasticly interested in offerings(as well as the previously mentioned painting, he also appreciated the quartz I offered during the initial summoning and the promise of an apple at the nearest convenience), but not all that interested in answering questions or chatting.

With all that (unfortunately necessary) context out of the way, I can finally get to the thing I *actually* wanted to ask you for advice about. Tonight, I was bored and decided to try shufflemancy. The results were… fascinating? Mildly concerning? You’ll see what I mean:

First, i asked what Wally thought of me/our relationship. My YouTube mix spit out:

“Give a little” by LeGrand and CG5 (https://youtu.be/_YWEd7K1u9c)

The answer seems pretty clear to me. Wally feels that our relationship is purely transactional and that I only called upon him to get things out of him and give him offerings in return. A perfectly reasonable conclusion to come too based on our interactions, but one that made me feel a bit guilty nonetheless. While I’d love to hear your thoughts on this answer, the real kicker is the answer I got for my next question: how should I approach Wally to improve out relationship? I got:

“Your love (deja vu)"  by Glass Animals (https://youtu.be/Ts–MxmAFkQ)

It would not be an exaggeration to say I did a mental double-take when this came on. As such, I asked for clarification. I received the answer:

"Too late” by The Happy Fits (https://youtu.be/f4ii2gSqfRM)

Upon listening to the above songs, you will probably be able to tell why I need some guidance. It’s probably necissary at this point to bring up the fact that, if I’ve been interpreting my noemata correctly, me and Wally were most likely romantically involved. Or rather queerplatonicly, but in a very affectionate, could-be-mistaken-for-romance kind of way. I’ve avoided bringing it up in past submissions for fear of making you uncomfortable, since in a previous response you mentioned being in love with Wally. But I’m bringing it up now because I think it’s necissary context for this situation, and quite frankly I can’t think of anyone else who I could trust to advise me on this. I fully understand if this does make you uncomfortable and you are welcome to delete this submission if that’s the case(/gen). But, if you do decide to respond, I’d really love some advice on what you think the shufflemancy is trying to tell me. I’d talk more about my conflicted feelings about these answers but I’m already running the risk of sending you a small novel.

-sincerely, and somewhat apologetically, your friend, 🍰 anon (no mention of a linktype because for whatever reason talking about magic puts me in Human ModeTM)

Despite my lack of ability to relate, I decided to answer this. First of all, in my noemata quite a lot of the neighbours had something vaguely queerplatonic going on so I absolutely do not hate you for that. In my canon I was close to both Frank and Wally in a more romantic way but I don’t think we ever fully got into a polyamory.

Second of all I’m not very spiritual, so I’m probably the wrong person to talk to completely. I don’t have an interest in witchcraft, at least not in a traditional sense. I believe that witchcraft only works because one believes it will. I’m not sure I actually believe contact can or is made in most cases with anything except the subconscious. I fully support the belief in universes where fictional characters are not fictional. I fully support people who believe they can make contact with these universes. But I don’t believe the latter myself. And if it is possible I’m not sure about the logic in treating them as if they were spirits, deities, or similar? Unless that’s what they actually are? I’m sure there’s plenty of arguments to and for this and I’m not going to involve myself I’m afraid.

If you ask me, I’d say that all version of contacting ‘spirits’ of any kind like this is actually an form of meditation. In other words, it allowed you to reach deep into yourself and receive answers from the back of your mind through the medium of believing to talk to another person. This may be especially so if your identity is only a linktype, as you have created this yourself so it’s spiritual aspects are purely up to your own self.

There’s nothing wrong with believing you can talk to your version of Wally through traditional or neo witchcraft methods and if that helps you, it helps you. I can’t and won’t tell you how to live your life.

But only You can say what those things mean. Whatever you think it means, that’s what it means. If you’re not sure, meditate or work on it some more. I can’t tell you what they mean or that you’re wrong or right because everything you just did relies so heavily on interpretation by the one asking questions. I hope you find something you like, or that brings you more peace. Never forget you’re in control and can stop and change whatever you like.

[saorintranslations]

Warm♪Onoda Saori (23.03.19)

🍋She who wants to eat some delicious food、I'm Saori♪

Yesterday's blog comments、I read them all！

Thank you very much 😊

Everyone、did you all have a wonderful day in one way or anotherー？？

I battled against my sleepiness！

Today、we had a fan club event！

Those of you who came、thank you very much😊

We also has a bus tour！！！！

We saw all sorts of footage、did you enjoy it！？

Saori enjoyed the natural scenery in Tateyama😌

At the event

There were lots of nostalgic songsー！

SaoMizuMao and Kiki、were able to perform 「Be Genki<Naseba Naruっ!>」！

After joining Tsubaki Factory

It was the first song from our senpai that I was able to cover！

I felt really nostalgic 😌

Also、all of Tsubaki were able to perform 「Sakura→Nyugakushiki」！

This song for SaoKiki、at our 2nd Kenshuusei Rectial、was performed by the recently joined members！！！

At that time Saori was in her first year of middle school、and Kiki was in her second year of middle school。

I've known Kiki for such a long time、I once again realised just how long it's been、and then I felt kind of lonely😢

I'm so glad we could sing it together again。

Compared to those 9 years ago、I feel like the song and its lyrics have gotten deeper in meaning！

Really、thank you so much。

And so、the live corner was a wonderful time doused in memories ✨

In the other corners、we had fun in a very Tsubaki-esque way！！

Everyone's gestures were amazing。I want to see them again 笑lol

Today、was our last individual event with all 12 Tsubaki members

So I'm glad we could have fun until the very end！

What did you thinkー？？

For sure、I'm waiting for your thoughーーーーts😘

At the very least I want to hear from the people who I met eyes with today。笑lol

I want to hear all of your thoughts！！I'll be waiting to hear them！

Ah！！！！！！

I'm so glad we could sing 「Dakara Nannanda！」！

Because it's a SaoKiki feature song！

I'm so happy。

Today are、photos I took with Kiki♪

(T/N News and information has not been translated)

I saw the moon when I looked outside

The moon was huge！！！！It was amazing！

But

When I looked closeーly it was a rouーnd ceiling light。

I'm glad I didn't make a fuss about it in front of the other Tsubaki members 🫣

Bye bye♡

[missbrunettebarbie]

Midnights - a review 3 months later and my tracklist

I've made a post about the album back when it came out, but I do think TS' songs in general are growers, not faders or instant hits, so here are my thoughts after having some time with it. Tbh, what really annoys me about Taylor's albums is usually the tracklist, which makes no sense, so I remade ir, using 16 out of the 20 songs (we don't count Hits Different bc I haven't listened to it). I am gonna talk about the 4 songs I left out at the end. My order is something like: from nightmares to sweet dreams, with track 5 being the darkest before dawn. So, in order:

1. Anti-Hero - 10/10. Perfect album opener, sets the tone for the rest of the songs AND establishes Taylor both as a person you want to root for and an unreliable narrator.

2. Maroon - 5/10 Still not a fan of this song, but it's a good second track and it fits the 'thing that keeps you up in the middle of the night' very well.

3. Midnight rain - 6/10 Pretty much the same as Maroon (yes, the voice distortion still grants on me).

4. Question....? -8/10 This is such a grower. I love how much more assertive and quite bitchy the narrator is here compared to the previous two. Like, all these 3 songs talk about past loves, but this narrator is less introspective and more like 'we were a meteor strike, babe!'.

5. Would've, should've, could've - 10/10 I mean, come on, this is the true track 5 of the album. Everything about it screams heartbreak and vulnerability.

6. Bigger than the whole sky -6/10 The saga of grief continues. And this song makes so much more sense next to WCS. They just fit, both musically and lyrically. Look how the new placement improved its rating, from 1 to 6!

7. Labyrinth - 8/10 When you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up! Spmetimes against your will. And this is the perfect song to describe this.

8. Glitch - 7/10 We are almost out of the nightmare realm, and into the sweet dreams world. This topic and its narrator are much more uplifting, but there is still a sense of....haunting here.

9. Bejeweled - 10/10. I feel like the sweet dreams section needs to start strong and what better way than with Bejeweled? This is the narrator who went out tonight to make her dreams come true xDD

10. Mastermind - 9/10 Perfect transition from Bejeweled. Again, a very confident narrator who took matters into her own hands, and refused to believe in pesky little things like fate. This is also the first long song where we get to see a bit of the other partner's point of view as well.

11. Sweet Nothing -6/10. After 2 "I am that bitch" songs, I feel like Sweet Nothing is an welcome change of pace. It calms you down and shows you the other side of love.

12. Lavender Haze - 9/10. It's a bop, but it also is a very....limited point of view, of someone who refuses to let the relationship follow its natural course, because the narrator wants to be stuck in the pavender haze forever. I feel like this, alongside the next 2 songs, make their own story arc.

13. Paris - 8/10. Another romantic bop about how great it is to be in love.

14. The Great War - 10/10. But all lovers fight, and this song shows that the important part is 'surviving the great war'.

15. Karma - 8/10. This is such a positive song, that it needs to be towards the end of the album.

16. You're on your own, kid -10/10. This is A Journey. Most people say it feels like Taylor giving us a hug, so IMO, this is the best way to close the album. It is vulnerable, yes, but it's very uplifting and is a perfect closer to the Midnights chapter.

Overall score: 8.125/10. Pretty good!

Songs that didn't make it on My Midnights playlist won't get a score, but here are my thoughts on them:

Snow on the beach - Not only doesn't it add anything to the album, but it doesn't even fit the midnights theme in any way shape or form!

Vigilante shit - It's ok, but very manufactured! And we have Bejeweled and Mastermind to give us the same vibe, but better, so it adds nothing.

Dear Reader - I mean, it could add somthing, but I feel like it doesn't fit the theme at all.

High Infidelity - Eh. It's ok, but again, I feel like it adds nothing.

[vegasporschetruther]

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