#no only friends can do those actually thats so weird like

[nyaskitten]

Fun fact: Despite the fact that I am in fact typically okay with jokes and bullying FROM FRIENDS, that does NOT mean you, someone I'm NOT friends with, get to make jokes about anything related to what my friends make.

[icewindandboringhorror]

sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:

thing that I already do

thing I have tried 10 times

thing I already do

thing that I don't have the money to do

thing I already do

thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail

thing that is impossible given my situation

thing that doesn't apply to me

thing that I already do

thing I have already tried

hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently

thing I have already done

[infizero]

i think interpreting dynamics that dont have any canon basis to be familial as familial is totally fine but a) you cannot act like this is canon fact and, in tandem with that, b) you cannot attack people for interpreting it differently. believe me i am all for killing people who sexualize ACTUAL familial/familial-coded dynamics with knives but you have got to understand that just bcuz these two characters are friends does not mean they are siblings and it does not mean you get to get mad at others when they inevitably ship them

[widevibratobitch]

its 'i know it doesnt matter and im used to it at this point but im actually a little sad that im kinda ugly' hours

[frecht]

kind of annoyed at my friend :/

[butt-puncher]

I wish that I was more

[gibbearish]

to anyone watching the james somerton situation and going "well how DO you write your own things like this then? everyone's talking about how /not/ to but i dont know where to start, the way highschool taught me essay writing was all about the number of sentences in a paragraph and mla citations :("

you know how james made things up between his """sources""" that sounded just plausible enough that people accepted it? he did it in the wrong order, do that part first THEN research. 100% serious right now, just make some shit up in your head that sounds vaguely right based on what you know now, write it down, and then go check if you're actually right or not. boom, now you have a topic. thats literally all it is, its just you saying "i think (xyz)" and then checking to see if the facts agree with you or not. if you turn out to be right, talk about what lead you to the conclusion initially and anything you learned about that you didn't predict. if you turn out to be wrong, talk about the right answer and examine why you thought differently at first. then either way talk about how things got that way, if you think it should stay like that, and why (e.g. how does it being that way effect people right now). tada suddenly you have an essay that is unplagiarized and entirely your own thoughts, with a plethora of sources on hand to cite because That's What You Used To Check. now be free your beautiful doves

[iamumbra195]

School Bus Graveyard incorrect quotes because I'm bored

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Taylor: Look how creepy it is looking down this hallway.

Ashlyn: I'm gonna get vertigo.

Aiden: I'm a Virgo!

Tyler, deadpan: No, you're a virgin.

...

Aiden: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Tyler: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Aiden: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ASHLYN WITH ME

Logan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Taylor: Why is Tyler so upset?

Logan: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Taylor: And...?

Logan: He got Aiden.

...

Ashlyn: What did you do with the phantom's body?

Aiden: What didn’t I do with the body?

Everyone:

Aiden: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the phantom respectfully.

...

Aiden: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Logan: Aiden, no.

Ben, with text to speech: Mistlefoe.

Logan: Please stop encouraging him.

...

Taylor: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?

Tyler: You’re a hazard to society

Aiden: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

...

Emma, trying to be nice to Ashlyn's new friends: Would you like to stay for dinner?

Mike, excited for his daughter: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?

...

Logan: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Ben: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Aiden: Smad.

...

Ashlyn: Why are you on the floor?

Aiden: I'm depressed.

Aiden: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ben, please.

...

Taylor: Aiden and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us

Ashlyn, sighing: What did he do?

Taylor: he chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...

Aiden: Who wants a steering wheel?

...

Aiden: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Logan: How am I supposed to know?

Tyler: You say that as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Logan: ...You wouldn't be trapped.

...

Ashlyn: Tyler, keep an eye on Aiden today. He's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.

Tyler: Sure, I’d love to see him get punched.

Ashlyn: Try again.

Tyler, sighing: I will stop Aiden from getting punched.

...

Aiden, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Tyler: You did WHAT–

Ben: William Snakespeare

...

Ashlyn: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Taylor: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Ashlyn: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Aiden: edible

...

Taylor, whispering to Aiden, who’s on the phone with Ashlyn: Ask her something!

Aiden: How are you feeling?

Ashlyn: Fine.

Taylor: Something personal!

Aiden: At what age did you start hearing voices?

...

Aiden: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited

Logan: If?

Tyler: Great, the only party I’d actually go to and he might not even die.

...

Logan: We need a distraction.

Ashlyn: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?

Aiden, whispering: My time has come

...

Tyler: Where are you going?

Taylor: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

Tyler: I'll come with

...

Mike, buying a whole bag of knives, guns and other weapons like he's going to war on a random Tuesday: I can explain

Jacob (shop owner): Can you?

Mike: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

...

Taylor: Heads up, if you try to make a candle with food colouring, it will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food colouring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food colouring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter.

Tyler, sighing: What did you do?

Taylor, wailing: A MISTAKE

...

Mr. Thomas: What are your goals?

Ashlyn: To pet all the dogs.

Mr. Thomas: No, I meant your goals for this trip.

Ashlyn: To pet all the dogs in Savannah.

...

Logan: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Ashlyn: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak?

...

Taylor: Aiden isn’t answering their phone

Ashlyn: I’ll call

Taylor: Ben and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Aiden: Hello?

...

Aiden: I was arrested for being too cool.

Tyler: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

...

Aiden: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much

Taylor: You’ve been to jail?

Aiden: Once. In Monopoly.

...

Mike: You love me, right?

Emma: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

...

Aiden: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Ashlyn: Okay

Aiden: And make out during the scary parts.

Ashlyn: The-

Ashlyn: The scary parts?

Ashlyn: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

...

Ashlyn: How petty can you get?

Tyler: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Taylor: I KNEW IT-

...

Aiden: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Logan: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

...

Mike: So what’s for dinner?

Emma, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's all for today!

[ellieschair]

don't text me, ex ellie williams one shot

sinopse: you and ellie broke up due to her commitment issues and you've been non contact until she calls.

cw: lowercase intended, swearing and alcohol use and "drunk"? sex, semi public sex, not explicit if reader is fem or masc. use of nicknames like babe and my love.

wc: 2,9k

nsfw/smut: tit play (r receiving), clit stim and pinching (e receiving), fingering (e receiving), cum eating (r)... i think thats it?

a/n: okay uh im gonna kms bc this was meant for @itsbecomeblue but alright.

you and ellie had broken up a few months ago. you have been no contact ever since, you blocked her everywhere except her number. you told her not to contact you if she didn't need anything.

but she'd called today.

you were in bed with your best friend kamala, she noticed you suddenly sitting up.

“what?” she touches your shoulder as you look at the screen. “ellie? don't pick up, y/n” she looks at the phone over your shoulder.

“i told her to only contact me if she needs anything…” you sigh, but the phone stops ringing and you bite your lip as you look at kamala, worried expression.

“hey, if she actually needs anything she'll either call again or text.” she pats your shoulder and you nod.

ellie doesn't call again, but you get a text.

«sorry about that, hope ur okay»

“um, i guess she didn't mean to call.” you roll your eyes after texting her back with a «don't worry, hope ur okay 2», which she saw and reacted with hearts.

“girl, yes she did, she let that thing ring for ages.” kamala scoffed.

“whatever kami, let's just forget about that. she's literally with cat.”

“it's insane that she broke up with you because she ‘couldn't be in a relationship’ and ‘felt trapped’ and now she's with cat.”

“i know but well, she just couldn't be in our relationship i guess.” you chuckle and hug kamala. “why are we still talking about this shit…?”

and then you drop this subject, and it was true… ellie broke up with you along those lines. she had met you at your house and held your hand, kissed your forehead before leaving. now, she has been going out with cat. you hadn't completely moved on but what's over it's over, you didn't want any messiness.

weeks pass by, you usually see ellie at college, you both curl your lips in an awkward smile. you do it out of respect but it hurts to act like you were never close.

today wasn't any different, film class and you're sat at the back. she got in late, she sat down at the front. you noticed her and followed her with your eyes but you didn't expect her to look around to the back of the class.

you lock eyes and she stares a little before turning back, you feel uneasy. class passed by and you don't interact in any way and you decide to talk to her after class.

she gets ready to leave and you run down the classes stairs to catch her.

“ellie.” you call out reaching for her shoulder but she turns around to face you before you can.

her green eyes pierce through yours, you hadn't seen those freckles from so close in months. you blink a few times in a roll.

“um… yeah? sorry i called.” her voice is raspy and she looks awkward, as if you don't know each other.

“you let the phone ring.” you mumble, her eyebrows almost touch as she looks confused.

“yes? i'm sorry.” she takes a step back as you do the same.

“so you meant to call. it wasn't a mistake?” you ask, you sound calmer.

“yeah, i did… but i know i shouldn't have, you did the right thing by not picking up.” she looks at your lips for a second before you curl them up in a sympathetic smile.

“i was going to. thought you might have needed something.” you hold your own shoulder. “you okay?”

“no, yeah… i'm okay i was just… i don't know.” she rambles awkwardly and you chuckle. “are… you okay?”

it felt weird talking to her, but she was still the same. she toyed with her fingers nervously as she always did.

“yeah, i am.” you breathed out before straightening your back. “what did you wanna say?”

“that, i've… been” she chokes on her words, you examine ber face, letting her speak. “thinking ‘bout you.” now it's your turn to internally choke.

“you don't need to tell me that.” you bite your lip as you start walking down the starts and she does the same as everyone's leaving the classroom.

she lowers her head to face her feet as she thinks of what to say but all she says is “i know.” you turn to face her after you leave the classroom.

“i'll see you” you say, she nods and leaves as you walk towards the bathroom.

your eyes water as soon as you enter the bathroom, you let out the breath you had been involuntarily holding. you decided this meant no contact was as rough as her as on you, even worse since she decided to call you at 3pm on a random saturday. but it didn't mean anything other than that, it's hard not to talk to someone you used to talk all the time and you understood that.

when you're walking to your next class you see cat running towards ellie and jesse. she kisses both of their cheeks and you wave to them, mostly jesse, who gives you a sympathetic look and waves back. cat doesn't see you until ellie raises her hand, cat waves at you then.

you and cat were neighbors during all your childhood, she was really nice, artistic, down to earth but still had a bubbly personality. you honestly liked her, which hurt.

kamala had texted you about this party next saturday at dina's, her cousin who ‘happened’ to be jesse's long term girlfriend and ellie's best friend. you, dina and kamala had been friends since the start of college and your breakup with ellie wouldn't change that.

ellie would obviously be there, so you decided to give it more than one thought. you didn't want to see her if it made you feel so small, but you couldn't stop doing what you usually do just to avoid her.

so you decided to go. you hadn't talked to dina that much about ellie to be honest, you didn't want this to become something where people had sides to take.

you and kamala go to the party a little later than supposed, the party was already crowded. you find dina and walk up to her to hug her.

“hey dina! nice party.” you hug her excitedly and she chuckles as she pats your back.

“it's a generic one, thanks though baby” she looks at you up and down as you back away. “you look good, girl.”

“you look hot, dee.” you smile wide and she gives you a gentle push towards her drink table. “go grab a drink, you too kamala!” she calls her cousin out.

kamala starts grabbing a drink but your eyes land on ellie, who was at the corner of the room. she saw you and stepped away from the wall she was leaning on.

“is ellie here with cat?” you ask dina as ellie walks up to you. dina nods no. “really?”

“yeah, they went out a few times but ellie said they were better off as friends…its been a while already” she shrugs.

“i see.” you tense up as ellie gets closer. “hey ellie.”

“what's up?” she smiles as she nodded at dina.

“nothing…” you shrug, your lower lip between your teeth and she clicks her tongue, staring you down.

“yeah umm, can we… maybe talk? i mean, i will text you?” she asks in a lower tone, you look around for nothing.

“sure, we can. what about?” dina had leave your side, and you were left alone with her and some strangers next to the wall.

“me. i miss you.” she breathes out and you squint your eyes. “i do. can we please talk?”

“didn't you feel trapped with me? in our relationship?” you scratch your forearm. she takes your hand off it and you look up at her.

“no, i felt trapped but it wasn't you who trapped me. you never limited me. i just wanted to get out a bit, try new things maybe.” you scoff and snap your hand from hers.

“you needed a break from me? to try out new things? like what…? cat?” you sound annoyed by all this now and she's quick to argue.

“no…no, y/n. i thought i did but… i still miss you alright? and cat… i thought could move on to something but i didn't”

“ellie, i'm sorry but… you can still move on. i'm… sorry it didn't work out with cat? but that has nothing to do with me.” you try to call down as she gulps and looks to the side.

“i'm sorry.” she mutters, she sounds embarrassed but she nods. “you're right. i can move on, i don't want to.”

“ellie, this is not the place for this but… yeah we can talk, i can text you.” you sigh and she nods.

“alright, text me when you can.” you nod and leave to find kamala.

you tell her about it and she says ellie is embarrassing herself and you can only say you feel bad but also annoyed by this behavior. you see ellie a few times during the party and you just smile at each other.

you definitely still love ellie, you do wish you had never broken up but it was her who did this and you didn't feel like you could get back together just like that. you'd let her say what she had to say, you respected her, but you didn't think this would end up in rekindling things.

you were dancing with kamala, a little drunk already, when you felt a little hot. you went into the kitchen to grab water. ellie was there, her hand on her forehead.

“hey…” she looks up, recognizing your shoes. she looked a little drunk herself, cheeks flushed. “are you okay?” she saw you stumble.

“yeah i'm fine actually, i have been drinking though, came for a water bottle.” you chuckle and she nods a little as she holds her own head. “who's driving you home?”

“ugh… actually… no one” she chuckles back and shoot her an worried look. “hey, don't worry i'll wait until i sober up a little, i know it was dumb but it's okay.”

“yeah… you better… drink some water maybe.” you walk up to her with another water bottle, she takes it and mumbles a ‘thank you’.

“i feel like the floor's kinda moving.” she looks up to you now.

“you're just light headed. and a lightweight.” you chuckle as you get closer to her.

“yeah right…” she laughs and looks at your lips as you get closer. “you smell nice.” she takes a huge sip out the water and grabs your hand pulling you closer, you let her.

“thank you, you look real good.” your drunken self speaks and she leans on your shoulder, you feel her breath against your neck, making your breath heavier.

“you've such pretty lips.” she mumbles as she lifts her head back up and her lips ghosts against yours. she holds you closer as you hold her arms.

your alcohol breaths fan eachother's lips and faces, you hands fall on her torso and she grabs your hips.

“i wanna kiss you.” you drop your face on the crook of her neck and you sigh. she puts her water bottle down on the marble you were both leaned against only to cup your face, making you face her again.

“you know i'll kiss you back.” and you kiss her, liquor tasting kiss as your tongue pass through her lips.

she moans when you do, holding you so close your leg ends in the middle of hers. you're now running your hand up and down her torso and hip. her arms wrapped around you.

“needed this.” she groans and your grab her hair tightly.

“i need you.” you reply, kissing her deeply. she moans again, her hand finds your thigh and she lifts it.

“have me” she whispers in your ear. she's thrusting her hips as he holds your leg up by your thigh.

you make out feverishly, kisses your neck and you start panting and she grins against your neck. you felt your panties damp.

“bathroom?” you suggest as she starts shamelessly grinding her clothed pussy on your thigh. she nods frantically mumbling ‘please's as she lets go of your thigh and grabs your hand.

she pushes your body with her own, grabbing your waist to turn you around, her crotch against your ass as she walks you to the bathroom.

“don't trip, babe.” she jokes and kisses your neck.

“make sure you don't either, my love.” you giggle and now she's next to you. you look at eachother.

her cheeks are flushed pink and you smile at her, she opens the bathroom door and you get in. she kisses you now, grabbing your ass.

“i want you so bad, y/n. please.” she kisses your neck and you push her back. “what?”

“block the door.” you kiss her as her back hits the door, her hand is running up and down your back and around your hips. “missed you so fucking much.” you nibble her neck and she moans.

“i missed you, this. i need you right now” her hands go up your shirt and she sounds needy as fuck, grinding poorly on your hips. your hands find her stomach. “it's been too fucking long.”

you can feel your clit throb as she talks to you. you suck her earlobe and she grinds even more.

“so eager…” she pinches your nipple when you tease her, you whine out and she kisses you again.

“take this off, babe.” she says, tugging your shirt and you do what she tells you to. she goes in on your tits immediately. “yeah? you like that?” she asks as she nibbles the skin before sucking your nipple.

you moan and whimper holding her hair, she only stops when she feels your fingers tugging her belt.

“let me touch you.” you ask, she quickly unlatches her belt and you unzip her pants.

“i can't do this anymore…” she tilts her head back and you give her what she wants, tugging her jeans down.

you cup her pussy over her boxers and she moans, head hitting your shoulder.

“wet and warm, huh?” you whisper and she starts kissing you again. groping your tits with one hand and the other on your back.

your fingers ghost her slit, but you start caressing her inner thigh and hips, opening her legs. she grunts and starts trying to grind her pussy on your hand, which makes you press her hips against the door.

“stay still, now, alright? i'll get to it… promise.” you mumble, enjoying her body and how eager she was.

she nods, now grabbing your ass and thighs. you kiss her cheek and tug her panties to the side

“good girl” she grunts when your fingers run over her sticky slit. she was soaked in her slick.

you tease her clit and entrance with your fingertips, she moans and tried to grind against you.

“fuck, be quick with it.” she grunts and you frown. “please.” you slide two fingers into her pussy when she pleads. she gasps and grips your hair, taking your lips in a sloppy kiss.

she grinds her clit against your hand as you thrust your fingers in and out at the perfect pace she never stopped thinking about.

“more.” she moans between kisses.

“more what?” you start rubbing her clit with your other hand. “this?” she moans and nods.

“yeah… thanks.” you chuckle as she thanks you, kissing her neck again.

you look up at her eyes closed and cheeks flushed pink, her hands moving from your back to your shoulders. you speed up as you look at her.

you get the vision you wanted, her closed eyes squint, broken pants leave her open lips… you moan at the sight and the feeling of her wet pussy clenching around your fingers and her legs shaking, threatening to close around your hand.

“oh… you feel so good ellie, fuck.” you pinch her clit and she moans louder “yeah, keep those legs open for me.”

she cries out as she nods, her pussy clenching hard when you moan seeing her cry.

“please i'm so close.” she grunts through gritted teeth. “don't stop.”

“relax, you're so tight…” her stomach tenses and she relaxes and you reach deeper. “god…” you moan.

she moans non stop and her legs shake even more as she cums all over your fingers. you fuck her slowly as she comes down from her orgasm, hand leaving her clit.

you're both panting and she holds you by your back as you take your fingers out of her pussy only to look down and see her creamy cum on your fingertips and around her entrance. your pussy throbs at the sight.

you weakly get on your knees, sucking her cum off your fingers to lick the cum on her pussy. she grips your shoulders.

“you're so good to me.” she mumbles as you get up, tugging her boxers and pants up.

[weebsinstash]

Do you ever wonder how complicated or nuanced it might be setting personal boundaries with a poly yandere Asmodeus and Fizz. Like do you ever workshop Lust Ring worldbuilding culture and realize "oh wait shit wouldn't it paradoxically be really easy AND ALSO borderline impossible to be open with and enforce your personal boundaries in a place perpetually encouraging the most openly brazen of carnal displays"?

Like. Obviously I like one of them more than the other but silly little guys are growing on me and, just. Imagine being a Sinner and being down in the Lust Ring and realizing they have a completely different culture around just, showing your body and being open with yourself and your desires and, you're suddenly not sure what things are sexual harassment or considered their normal culture and you're not sure what you're even allowed to verbally express discomfort against because. Is it actually something normal and YOU'RE being weird and mean to THEM? Or, are you unintentionally letting people do REALLY creepy things to you?

You move out of Pride and your new coworkers in Ozzie's building are constantly eating dick and pussy shaped foods? Your coworker is throating a dick shaped ice pop at their desk? Your coworkers are varying levels of half naked? That's not perverted, it's normal and healthy and they're confident in their healthy sexuality :) oh, but you think that's weird? You don't want to look directly at someone's tits when they ask your opinion on their new nipple piercings? Aw, aren't you cute, being too shy to be open with yourself! maybe we all need to show you a few things to welcome you to Lust--

Like, I know Ozzie is dead set on consent but I often brainstorm different variations of those opinions or otherwise in a yandere setting. Ozzie is accepting and open and body positive! Therefore he might be completely in the nude while he sits in a recliner and you're asked to bring him something and he ISN'T EMBARRASSED AT ALL. Aw, he doesn't care if you see his dick, he's not ashamed of his body :) and you don't want to tell him to cover up because he's so nice to you, right? Like..... the perfect fucking gentleman BESIDES these um. Conflicting opinions on modesty and boundaries. Like genuinely he is such a good man fr i want him biblicly 😩❤️

These two out here with their fucking "what are you talking about, this blatantly sexual thing we're doing isn't sexual at all, you're being weird and seeing things thst aren't there and also dont kinkshame us wow thats rude?" bullshit. Oh so you got too drunk at an office party so they made sure you got home safely so no one took advantage of you? Yeah that's cool! Or it would be if they didn't take you to THEIR home though! Oh, it was weird for you to wake up literally sandwiched between them in a pair of pajamas meaning they undressed you? Yeah? Well you had to get your sleep and there's only one bed and they wont make you sleep on the couch and Ozzie's chest is nice and broad and warm and Fizz can rest his face on your tummy and-- why are you scowling and looking grossed out, they were just making sure you were warm and cozy, but if that made you uncomfortable, they're sorry you felt that way from them just trying to so something nice for you--

I recognize it's canonically antithetical to his actual beliefs but yandere Ozzie who is like "oh you're not comfortable sharing details about your sexuality or your body or your sex life with me? I mean. Oh gee it would be like so awkward if we were having drinks as friends and I charismatically loosened your lips over time by repeatedly pressing the issues until you give in! It's not a real 'no' if it eventually becomes a 'yes' right?"

Fizz is like. A fucking jester. He's a clown. He's THE silly little guy. So you almost regard him as this nonsexual cartoonish entity until he occasionally has shit slip out of his mouth that reminds you No Honey That's A Grown Ass Man, he's saying shit like "oh wow seeing that crop over there reminded me of the other week where Ozzie and I were doing horseplay and you should've SEEN when I took one to that huge butt of his, he was SCREAMING into the bridle gag and-"

I FEEL LIKE YOU'D CATCH THEM LIKE, ULTRA WEAPONIZING T H E I R RULES. Yeah, consent is important! That's why you're not allowed to flirt with that dilfy incubus, because, what is that in your hand? Gasp, is that a single shot? You've been drinking therefore you can't consent and you're being CARRIED away if that gets you to stop talking to this guy

Like imagine you're this shy bullied little thing and Admodeus is treating you like this precious egg that he can't wait to hatch and then it's like, you're dressing up sexy and coming on to someone ELSE talking about how you wanna suck THEIR dick and suddenly he's all "uh um uh hm you know what?you're moving too fast, people are gonna take advantage of you, you're not ready, let me take you home--"

"BLOWJ0BS FOR ME BUT NOT FOR THEE" for reeeeeeeal!!!!! You're sitting in like, the living room, basically forced to be celibate (unless ya bone them) and in the next room over IN THE ONLY BEDROOM you're hearing like *spanking* *bicycle horn* *that one oh yeah sound effect* *shaking tin sfx* *water splashing* *rubber ducky squeaky noise* *slide whistle* *whoopie cushion* and then the both of them limp out of there visibly disheveled and asking if you want to order a pizza because WOW THEY'RE JUST WAY TOO HUNGRY TO COOK DINNER TONIGHT FOR SOME REASON--

[gogolstoelicker]

Dorm leaders with a Razor!MC

a/n: totally lost the pookie who asked for this but if by some miracle yk its you, pls dont beat me up for taking so long </3 /j

also if tumblr did smth weird with the bullet points again, point ur guns at the app

its one week before my exams so im using my adrealine for smth!!

You are generally good-natured person who considers your wolf pack your family and becomes enraged if they are hurt by other parties. You love your wolf family but dislike the fact that you aren't fully like them. You considered the few humans you do encounter to be your friends and are willing to protect them from danger if it means sacrificing your and your pack's dinner for the night. You are a quick thinker. You are also honest and forthright due to your limited exposure to human life. You are not used to speaking and only speak in short phrases and words, finding it troublesome, but you continue nonetheless.

Riddle

my mans stopping you like this to take a look at your uniform

pookie, youre a lil messy rn -he said this in anger, I'm just giving you the nicer version

its ok, he helped you clean up a lil after!!

u absolutely trying not to mess up the collar and tie up bcs its so uncomfortable:😢😔

it always goes back to the messy version as soon as hes out of sight or its half the day already

he wont find out (i lied he absolutely did)

he can always count on u to tell him the truth should your friends ever do smth bad

"broke. chair." while pointing at ace and deuece

they have tears in their eyes as riddle approach them

honestly some of ur behaviour makes him go⁉️

fr thought u were a beastman or smth

then found out youre just a human whos lived with wolves their whole life

FUCKEKEKE REMEMBER THAT TIME IN HIS OVERBLOT WHEN HE WAS TALKING ABT PARENTS

u being an orphan as he goes on with his speech: /JOKE

ace beats his ass up for u its ok

him trying to figure out how they didnt try to eat u🤔

he didnt try to stop u but that wont mean he wont go😅😅

ALSO eat ur veggies pls

hes chasing u around heartslabyul trying to make u eat a wee bit of carrots

Leona

"veggies:( bad:(" "so real"

^ur real time convo

whenever youre given food with veggies, u pass it off to leona

leona then pass it to ruggie who then muched it off

he absolutely told u to give ruggie any veggies btw (free food for the man‼️)

ruggie is forever happy to receive free food

he actually thought u were a beastman too because of your scent

"r u a jack kinnie?" he would ask (he didnt ask it like that)

turns out you just got raised by them

idk savanaclaw might be an ok? place for u? considering most of them r beastman there

like its not even surprising to see u practicing with them every morning anymore

ruggie dragged both u and leona by the collar to practice btw

"im all the way in ramshackle" leona surprise adopted u to savanaclaw, dont resist /J

u surprisingly get along well with him‼️‼️

leona acting like he doesnt care abt the youngsters👴🙄 (hes failing)

he totally didnt take a nap with you in his usual spots, no who did that?? pft not him

no he did NOT save u from accidentally getting hurt by your friend's troubles btw no

also, he did not mind that you do not talk much

the less words the better for him!! he encourages this (he got beat up later by the people who thinks otherwise)

Azul

youre so simple, azul actually had a great time

"pls sign this contract to save ur friends" "ok:)"

well youre homeless now (not rlly u have a home in savanaclaw)

yk those super villains laughing evilly everytime their plans r going so well?? thats azul

he didnt even need to put many efforts in trying to trick u, u just go thumbs up at him

he does not feel bad btw

he does not care if youre a beastman or not. a business opportunity is all you'll ever be to him

maybe a friend too but you'll need to unlock friendship level 10 for that

can wolves swim underwater, im sayign yes for plot reasons

anyways u came back from trying to get the painting(?) picture (?) like a wet dog

im saying nonsense rn i think i need sleep its almost 1am

he threw his head back 90° to laugh dramatically at how u reminded him of a wet dog

this is a joke, do not come for me

honestly he had to drag u away from the lounge once bcs u tried catching the fishes in the aquarium

"MF LEAVE MY FISHES TF ALONE IF U WANT TO LIVE" is what he wouldve said if hes not a professional businessman

he is a professional guys do not worry💯

honestly, he is pretty ? that you had trouble speaking

after finding out its bcs youve been isolated from the human things, he kind of goes🤔

the business in his head is controlling him before he can stop them😖🫣

would u like a potion from him to help u with that problem<33

honestly head empty rn

Kalim

rhey all thought you were a beastman and he is not an exception

is def surprised bcs ur ass howled one time at a full moon

he witnessed that, he had the front row seat as witness

he lets u do ur thing its ok

even asked u if its family tradition HELP /J

"oh man u have such fluffy hair"

he said before trying to touch it and realising its literally tangled all over

him and jamil whos right next to him

were u raised in a barn??

kalim assumed theres no hairbrush in ramshackle

u dont have to worry bro, kalim is more than happy to stock u up with some hairbrush

"oh its nothing much dont worry😊🙏‼️" the literal gold handles on the hairbrush:

u dont have to worry abt not speaking much, he speaks enough for the both of u

he spoke such strange things u dont understand him sometimes

u just nod along and gave him thumbs up

its like sun and moon but the moon is confused /j

if youre sleeping outside, he will join u btw

he brought his pillows and blanket out to have a small sleepover with u

jamil had a mini heart attack when he went to wake kalim up in the morning to see hes missing from his bed

Vil

vil when be sees u

yk how yall lived in pomefiore for a bit after the idia thing??

yeah he polished u up so much bro

u came into the dorm looking like someone abandoned u so youe only option was to live in the jungle with the help of ur jungle friends and have survived through the way of the mammals since u were an infant

and u came out looking like a brand new person

u came out of the dorm looking like u got new skin that its literally shining under light, ur hair softer and no longer tangled and no more eyebags and u smell like flowers

vil wiping his forehead after a job well done😊🙏

also he was pretty shocked when he found out u were pretty isolated from the human norms or whatever

he did try his best to break you bad habits, like literally running in mud

he also helped u with like speaking problems?

he got u a whole dictionary in case u dont know the word bro

also fix ur uniform for ueach time u try to loosen it up because its too suffocating for u

if u try to loosen it up one more time, he'll add the veggies in ur plate

he absolutely does makes u eat ur veggies

he'll tie u down a chair and make u eat them even

/j he wouldnt. he have rook to help him with that

Idia

him after he fixed ur dorm with the greatest and newest updated quality just for u to sleep outside

he gets it, youve been raised this way

but he just fixed it for u bro😢😢cant u at least sleep in there

grim sleeps in diff rooms every day bcs of the upgrade and u did this?? /j

oh well at least the outside kind of looks better now too he guess....

u dont even use the tv, u dont know how it works

"people in there real?" "? no ?"

he beats u in every video games ever because u literally could not keep up with technology

hes slaying everyone and youre wondering how to make ur character walk the way u wanted them to

u accidentally drowned somehow in the video game

he feels a tad bit bad for u

he cant bond much with u because like

hes quiet, youre quiet

hes a modern dude, u dont even know whats a phone

he likes video games, u prolly like hunting for food

if you two r in a room together, the only people who r talking r literally the wind

"whoosh whoosh whoosh🌬" whoosh whoosh🌪

Malleus

he spoke enough for the both of u (its abt gargoyles)

he actually spoke so much confusing words for u

u looked at him like 😃🫨 (ur head is spinning and u r dying)

u can always ask him if u dont understand tho

he will explain in another paragraph but its ok, at least u understand now

barely actually

ur brain hurts and its fried from talking to him since he use big words

he did try to use simpler words for u!!

oh u two can kind of bond i think

youre both not familiar with technology so it will work well

u know those faces grandparents make when looking through new technologies

like the eyes squinting and eyebrows furrowed look with thag confused look

yeah thats the both of u

u both try to figure it out together (it did not work out)

yall asked lilia for help

peepaw is into the trends, he can help the both of u dont worry!!

he saw how messy you could be sometimes and went damn

he'll fix u up with magic its ok

show me funny things, magic man

anyways its a habit of his to fix anything in ur appearance whenever u have ur nighty walks

like u have this dirt on ur white uniform? say no more.

theres a damned branch in ur hair (dont ask how u got that) and its tangled in ur hair?? he got u pookie

part of ur clothes r literally ripped off because god's knows what youve been doing in your free time??? u dont even need to ask bbg

[eustasskidagenda]

hello im so excited that your ask box is open and youre taking requests! i dont request things often, so this might be a but of a weird concept, and i apologize if its too detailed. however the idea literally wont leave me alone. orz;;

maybe eustass kid has a crush on a somewhat reserved reader whose slow to open up and he hasnt quite realized thats what hes feeling until they stop on an island and meet readers childhood friend. they show a whole new side of themself with said friend by laughing openly, making stupid jokes, being much more physically affectionate. basically reader acts close with an old friend and kid gets jealous about it.

i dont mind if you do a oneshot, drabble, or headcanon, im just curious about your thoughts on this :3 thank you so much and i hope you have a great day!

Hello dear anon! Sure, I'm always happy to write for my pookie. It was fun to write, and it makes me smile a bit because Kid is such a mess, I love this angry tulip. Hope it will match your expectations. ☆

☆Kid with a s/o slow to open up

CW : g/n reader, a bit of cursing but fluff overall

WC : 700

Kid has always been loud. Whenever he's angry, he needs to shoot at someone. What can he say? His heart is filled with emotions, boiling and exploding like a thousand sparks. That's why you're a mystery. Always calm. Not letting others know what's on your mind. What makes you so quiet? He can't tell. 

Just like the moon and the sun, you are polar opposites. And yet, as the sun always chases the moon, he's always looking after you. And he's everything, but not discreet. Asking loudly for almost all of his crew what they think about you and why you are so reserved. 

Sure, he's used to introverted folks. Killer is one of them. But here's the difference: he can second-guess every word, thought, and breath of his best friend. He could probably achieve all of his sentences. And even through the mask, Kid could also guess the exact expression on Killer's face. 

Killer, who is likely aware that Kid has a small crush on you.

Kid is genuinely frustrated. Loudly frustrated, obviously. He needs to feel in control of everything and hates when he doesn’t have a full-understanding. Usually, he fails to notice reserved people because he's taking all the attention. But there's something about you: your slight smiles, the flash in your eyes, the way you're always listening to others but never talk about yourself. He can't tell why, but it keeps his mind alert. 

Perhaps you pose a bit of a challenge. Kid would never give two flying fucks about you if you were easy to see through. He's always looking after you because you're still a mystery. Sure, at the beginning, it was just to try to figure out who you really are. But now, it turned into something bigger. He hasn't noticed it yet, that’s all. Kid sucks with feelings. Feelings are actually something he hates because they make him feel weak. It puts his loved one in danger. Showing your weaknesses to enemies is a foolish move, Kid knows that perfectly.

However, everything is about to change. He decided to stop on that island for the day. For the first time, you asked to avoid robbery or harming anyone around. 

"Ugh, we're pirates, y/n" Kid doesn't want to look like a nice guy. He's a tough, rude pirate. He has a reputation to uphold. For him, the only good way to open a path is by violent means. Kindness? For what? If he's still alive today, it's because he toughened up and decided to never show mercy to anyone. 

"Fine, fine, I won't kill those people." Heavy sighs. But he wants to understand. He needs to understand. And finally, he's about to understand. 

Because suddenly, you're smiling heartily and running towards those scumbag strangers. What. The. Fuck. It's like seeing the sun after an eternity of blizzards and grey clouds. You're a bright light, a true sunshine. A burst of joy. You're joking, laughing, talking, and talking a lot. You never said more than two sentences in front of him, and now you're chatting endlessly with those strangers and hugging all of them. 

He's pissed off. Are those random people with terrible sense of style and ugly make-up better than him? The great Eustass "Captain" Kid? No way. 

"Guys, here's my captain, Kid. Kid, here are my childhood best friends."

Kid's face is a mess of angry scowls and boiling with frustration when they say hello. Why aren't you smiling as warmly when you're with him? Why is his heart pounding so hard, almost painfully in his chest? And damn, is it the cold or are his cheeks completely red? 

Poor Kid is both flushed and flustered. His first reflex is always exploding when he feels something. "Do you have a problem with me?" Barking through gritted teeth. 

He's ruining the happy-shitty mood and he doesn't care. 

So now, try to explain that you don't have a problem with him. Good luck, he's very stubborn. But once he's more or less calmed (because he's still pissed off), he still can't understand why his heart is racing at the sight of your soft, warm smile.

He wants to see that side of you more often. He wants to be part of those privileged people allowed to know the real you.

Yes, maybe he has a crush on you.

[bananaman-mp3]

[ID: A screenshot of a reblog with the blog's url and profile picture scribbled outin red that reads: "...conditionally and only if you never disagree with them? O.o"

the tags underrneath read: "#it never stops baffling me #how fandom turned these two into some idea of love #when the story is literall Naruto obsessign over Sasuke who is not interrsted #and then beating him almost to death because Sasuke doesn't think genocide is good pooitcal move actually #like FFS pls read more mangas people" End ID]

are you serious... if naruto only loved him conditionally why did he risk everything to save him, even when everyone else was set on killing him for being a traitor to konoha?

the guy threw his dignity away, in the eyes of everyone, to defend public enemy #1

he always called sasuke his friend, he never stated that he would only consider him a friend only if he returned as a konoha ninja.

loves him conditionally my ass.

and like- the idea that naruto can only love people that never disagree with him is so fundamentally against his character it's almost comical. if that were true naruto wouldve simply killed nagato. he wouldn't have tried to understand him or talk him out of it the way he did, once he heard his story. he wouldn't have tried talking to obito either. or even neji, konohamaru and inari, as small as those moments look in comparison.

the obsession part would make more sense, given how much he thought about him and wanted him back, to the point even his friends and the girl who was in love with sasuke thought it was too much.

yet the part about naruto beating sasuke up is... weird. they do realize naruto was fighting him because sasukes idea of a revolution meant to martyr himself for the sake of peace, the way his brother did, right?

they do realize that sasuke wanted to kill him at that point too, right? that it wasn't naruto beating a defenseless sasuke, right?

if anything, naruto was leaning on the defensive side and sasuke was the one trying to beat him up. but the were pretty fucking tied in terms of power. thats why he came close to killing sasuke (and viceversa. stop treating sasuke like a weakling.)

now, that doenst mean naruto is completely in the right to simply undermine or ignore konohas wrongdoing just because it only fuels the cycle of violence. naruto himself is victim of konohas shit system, and he has acknowledged many of the problems it caused. he promised to nagato that hed help amegakure when he became hokage.

of course you could argue that narutos methods may not be as effective for change as sasukes more aggressive plan, since systemic change is rarely if ever achievable by working within it. but im not that good with politics so i dont think im the best to talk about it, and that already goes beyond the topic here.

sasukes violent reaction to konohas mistreatment of the uchiha was completely understandable and anyone in his place wouldve don the same. lets make that clear here. i think saying he was highly justified is not a controversial take, at least here. konoha and the shinobi system ARE fucked up.

also, love that 'sasuke is not interested' bit. op, why did sasuke want to kill naruto? tell me.

me when im not interested:

so yeah i think that's a pretty inaccurate take on sasukes feelings towards naruto.

[kissitbttr]

hey, don't know if you're taking requests, fell free to ignore (and forgive if I write something wrong, I'm actually Brazilian)

could u do a Eddie and mean cheerleader, after that fight series, where she's been acting weird and not like herself lately and Eddie notices, so when he confront her, she tels thats because she still thinks about the things he said, like, got a little insecure about that part "I get why you're ex's got feed up"

that part got me real bad 😭😭😭

anyway, thanks even if u can't, love your writing 💕

hii sweetheart!! no need to apologize, you’re good!! thank you for requesting!💓🫶🏻

-

the morning after the makeup sex, eddie thought that everything was going well. she cooked breakfast for him, wore his shirt, put on her favorite record and gave him a kiss before hopping into the shower. he was smiling to himself throughout, overjoyed by the feeling of his girlfriend finally in his arms again.

but it didn’t exactly last. few days after, he sensed that something was up. she rarely smiled at him, dodged kisses at school, not wanting to hold hands, being really short with him and avoid eating lunch at his table. it’s all confusing because she’s extremely affectionate with him. he misses the feeling. feeling of being wanted.

after days of having all these assumptions and negative thoughts, he figures he should confront her about it. that’s what healthy couples do, right? figure things out?

“hey..” he quietly greets, hands shoved in his pockets while walking over to her locker,

y/n stops talking to her friend and glance over at him, raising an eyebrow. “yeah?”

“can we talk?” eddie feels a glare that maya shoots over at him, feeling slightly uncomfortable and to be frank, pretty pressured too. “alone?”

hesitation written all over y/n’s features. but she knows, there’s no way she could talk her way out of this.

she mumbles something to her best friend’s ear before she walks away. closing the locker door shut, y/n leans sideway with her temple and shoulder resting against the cold surface,

“what?”

“did i do something?” he asks straight off the bat, sounding terrified. not only because of what he may have done but the look on her face that screams terror. it’s the look that she gives before telling someone to fuck off or she’ll kill you,

“what makes you think that?” she scoffs, looking at her nails while chewing on her gum. “is that all you wanted to know? you can bounce if it was.”

okay something is definitely up.

“no—sweetheart, is there something going on?” eddie steps closer, face falling when she takes a step back. “see! w-why did you do that?!”

“did what?” she rolls her eyes, turning her body away from him so her back is now pressed against the locker. “ugh, don’t you have a little campaign to do? i hate having to hear those little shits saying I’m holding you back.”

“because my girlfriend is far more important than any d&d plays right now!” his voice turns a bit more aggressive, looking at her in disbelief when she isn’t even trying to hold an eye contact. “they can wait for all i care!”

“can we not do this?! god, it’s irritating! i hate when people give me migraines, it should be the other way around” she lightly massages both temples, smacking her gum and missing the way her boyfriend’s shoulders slumping at her response.

“you’re saying I’m giving you-“

“yeah you are! okay you know what, i don’t have time for this so I’m going leave. we’re measuring new cheerleader outfits for next competition.” she pushes herself off, “see you later, eddie.” with that she walks aways, making his heart stops and jaw dropping down to the floor by her last statement.

eddie?! fucking. eddie?! no, no, no. shit, shit! this is not fucking good!

“fucking—“ he pauses before he loses his shit, because he’s this close. this close on getting absolutely ballistic. “why can’t girls just say what they needed to say!” he mutters to himself with a head shake,

—

“you know you can’t avoid him forever”

maya’s comment is making y/n tired. she has been going non stop about eddie and how they need to fix things up. it feels like listening to a mother’s lecture.

y/n’s eyes wander around the crowd in the lunch hall, stopping her stare when she sees him. looking to her direction with his brows furrowed, anxiously biting his lip and fingers fiddling. he pays no mind to his friends who are obnoxiously talking with each other. fighting over the campaign’s schedule and who they need to get for lucas’s substitute.

like he said. not important right now. he’s figuring out what mistake he had done so he can get on his knees and ask for forgiveness. he’s thinking that maybe—he forgot to buy her pads? what was the name of the brand, again?

“whatever. i am not talking to him and i am not going to give him what he wants” she shrugs, tearing the bread harshly with her hands. “i still hate him.”

“you guys fucked as a way of making up. that doesn’t make any sense” karina intervenes, as a matter of factly. “it’s sort of weird. and now you’re not talking?”

“I can still despise a bitch and be friends with them. just like how i’m with you.” y/n gives her a fake smile, seeing karina rolls her eyes before going back to eating,

“jesus, no wonder people hate you.”

“yet, they still love telling me their secrets. so i must be doing something good.” y/n answers, blowing a kiss as a form of mockery.

“okay y/n!” maya claps her hands. “you need to fix this shit you have going with your man. it’s not healthy and sorry to say sweetie, the way eddie has been looking at you non stop for ten minutes is getting really creepy.”

maya cringes when she looks over to the back, seeing eddie with his head tilting to the side, sad look on his face and chin propping on his open palm. brown eyes only fixated on his girlfriend,

“god you two make me sick” she jokingly stick her fingers in her mouth and pretend to gag, stopping soon y/n sends her a death stare. “it’s a joke! jeez—why didn’t you tell him that thing that has been bothering you? he deserves to know. i’m sure he’ll understand.”

“because he’d overthink that. i don’t want to make him feel more shittier.”

“see? you still care!”

“of course i do!” the girl replies defensively, arms crossed. “he makes me feel things—emotionally. when I’m with him, i finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love, it’s like he’s meant to be with me—ew okay—what the fuck have i become?”

with a chuckle, maya wiggles her finger at y/n. “you’ve become soft.”

“stop that!” y/n smacks the finger out of her face, scolding as she feels a small tug in her heart.

when she thinks of eddie, butterflies is what she gets. none of that ooey-gooey stuff happened during the relationship with her exes. some, maybe. but not to the point where she feels like she would turn into a huge pink glittery puddle. it’s all for him. for her eddie. just by hearing his name—then his hair, his smile, his scent, his cute button nose—just makes her want to hurl,

but in a good way,

“we’ll see though.”

—

everyday after school, it has become a routine for y/n to skip her steps towards his van at the parking lot. launching at him with a big smile, giving him a sloppy kiss without any care in the world. then the two would take a little trip to the skull rock where they both can make out with each other by the lake, half naked while getting high. and often encourage him to lose all his clothes and swim with her.

then eventually fuck when the sun is about to go down.

so that’s what he’s doing. standing by his van waiting for her to come out and just hope that she’s in a better mood than before. they barely talked during school, he couldn’t even get her to play with his hair—let alone talk—and it’s making him go crazy.

“y/n!” he calls once he spots the pretty girl walking out with her friends, “sweetheart! over here, woohoo!”

eddie waves his arms in exaggeration while jumping, probably looking like a freak but eh, what else is new.

“oh god, what the fuck is his problem now!” she groans, stomping her heel into the concrete. watching how her boyfriend doing weird antics to get her attention.

“babe—you should go to him” maya bumps her shoulder, nodding his head. “that man is suffering, i can tell.”

“I don’t know” she scratches the back of her head, flipping her hair to the back after. “maybe tomorrow?”

“girl, I don’t think he can handle tomorrow” maya frowns, seeing eddie keep jumping and waving. hair bouncing everytime he does. “never seen a guy so whipped before. not even when you dated ‘he who shall not be named’.”

“he’s not that whipped.”

y/n moves her gaze to where he’s at. seeing him standing there with a sad pout thinking that she’s not looking. hand on hips, clearly frustrated before stomping the ground and kick a pebble.

“okay that’s kind of cute.” y/n’s admits, melting at the sight. she knows that she has to face him one way or another, sooner or later. or else he isn’t going to stop. he’s pretty persistent. “I’ll see you guys in a bit”

she doesn’t give her friends a chance to respond and walk over to where his car parked. her lips purses with a cold stare, one that could make people run for their lives.

not him, though. yes, eddie should be afraid. because it’s the look that he’d like to call ‘loopy y/n’. one where he should be shitting bricks but hey, mean girls make him feel things—down his pants.

“y/n! my love, my princess, my sweet sweetheart! thank the lord you have finally graced my life with your existence!” he shouts dramatically, hand over heart as he breathes a loud sigh of relief. “i was going absolutely crazy without you, can we go now?”

“eddie” she warns with a glare, feeling rather annoyed at how loud he is being right now. earning concerned glances from other kids. “what the fuck are you doing?”

“chariot awaits, my princess” he bows down, ignoring the rude tone laced on her voice. “now come on! we got skull motherfucking rock to go to!”

“eddie” she says once again, in a nicer tone. itching to give him a hard kiss and a hug so tight his ribs pop out at his adorable demeanor and words. this man can never give her a break.

“you’re drawing attention—what makes you think i want to go?”

“because we always do?” he replies as matter of factly. “to you know—the usual? you and us naked, me rolling a blunt for you to smoke, my fingers fucking your—“

“okay stop!” she quickly puts him into a halt, arms crossed. “i don’t want to go. I’m going to the mall to pick up a dress i ordered a week ago. with my friends. see you later.”

as she about to walk away, there’s no chance eddie is letting her off that easy. so in instance, eddie reaches out to grab her wrist making her jump. immediately telling him to let go as she struggles to release from his tight grip but eddie is far more stronger.

he unlocks the back door of the van and shoves her inside, making her tumble in the process. if no one knew who they were, what he’s doing would probably came off creepy.

“you are not leaving until you tell me what’s going on!” he sternly directs, heartbroken at how she continues to avoid him like a plague without giving a clear explanation. “please— i know i don’t deserve you, i know that, okay? but you have to tell me.”

unfamiliar ache touches her heart, when she hears that. if anything, eddie deserves everything good in his life. she hates how he puts himself down like that. she doesn’t know how he tends to make that a hobby.

and she loves helping her boyfriend. she cares deeply for him. but when it comes to this, she refuses to talk about it. she’ll talk to him soon. when she gets better. even if she had to stay away from him

“nothing is going on! I’m perfectly fine, now let me out!”

“no” he stops as he covers the door. “i am not losing you again—i didn’t like how that feels! now please—for the last time, tell me what i did wrong, baby—please”

his pleading eyes looking at her, begging for an answer. desperately wanting to know what got her mind clouded that she has been really irritated with him.

she stares away, not replying.because seeing him like that would just make her break.

“we’re already good—right? w-we made up, you cooked me eggs and bacon, we had sex—after the party and one more the next morning—then we showered twice —you washed my hair” he reminds her, voice sounding so sad and defeated,

“but somehow after that you turned cold and short with me—what went wrong? do you regret it?”

she never turns her head so quickly before, “of course i don’t! i never regret a single thing i do with you, eddie—i just—“ she stops and sigh, sinking back into one of the chairs,

“it’s not what you did more like what you said to me”

“what? w-what was it? what did i say?“ he asks growing nervous,

“during the fight—i know i should let that shit go by now but I can’t” she says, looking down at her heels. “when you said, that all of my exes were fed up with me and stuff,—the way you said it was close to hearing you wanting to dump my ass.”

oh shit, eddie thinks.

“like okay i get it alright?! i can be too much, my anger issues are out of control sometimes, i hit people and slam their heads against a dryer, so what? just because i hate people that doesn’t mean they have to hate me too!“ she whines, genuinely feeling not good about herself

“and it kind of stuck with me up until today, eddie—what you said was close to my breaking point—you make me feel a little insecure because of that. I’m struggling to believe whether you still want to be with me or not”

someone please just shoot him in the head twice and bury him raw,

“princess” he begins, thinking carefully of what the next words might be. “i am so sorry—i-i didn’t mean any of that, oh my fucking god i am such a lousy boyfriend—yes! of course i still want to be with you! everything i said to you that was a complete utter bullshit”

slowly, she gazes up at him. still looking and feeling entirely unsure about the things he’s saying. he doesn’t blame her, she opened up about having trust issues about her past to him and he broke it. she believed in him and yet, he broke it.

but he knows for sure he’s much better man. not like brandon or any other of her dumb jocks exes that treated her like shit and not wanting to fix the relationship after. now he wants to. she’s basically the best damn thing that has ever happened to him. he’d be too much of a dumbass to let her go that easy.

and wayne would beat the crap out of him for it.

“i know you’re having a hard time to trust me again after that—but you have to believe this one thing” he grasps her hands and putting them over his chest as if scared for her to go. “i. love. you—so much that it drives me crazy, i can’t fall asleep without hearing your voice first, i get cranky when your peach flavored lipgloss doesn’t stain my cheeks and when I can’t even taste them on my lips, i can barely concentrate knowing you didn’t give me a good luck kiss before every each class—i love you, baby. and i will spend the rest of my life making it up to you—to show how sorry i am and how much you mean to me.”

“and i know that i can’t give you all the luxury you deserve—rings and a nice dress or some shit but once i get a job i will give you everything you want too—you name it and I’ll give you one. plus, i like it when you’re mean and violent. it’s hot. especially when you run your mouth over something. i’ll go bend over backwards for you, sweetheart.”

“this sounds like a marriage proposal” is the first thing she says once he’s done talking,

“well—it could be?“ he questions, “or could be just a vow I’m willing to give because you know—i will never stop loving you as my girl.”

eddie watches as her lips slowly form into a smile, pupils dilating and trying to hide the embarrassment that’s creeping into her skin. it makes him smile too,

“do really think i look hot when I’m angry?”

“insanely” he whistles, shaking his head. “hottest girl I’ve seen. that time when you took brandon down for me? oof, popped myself a boner!”

she giggles, getting on her knees and walk herself closer to him. “so I’m not annoying or acting insecure?”

“no way, sweetheart” he responds immediately, automatically feeling relaxed when she begins to get more comfortable. “i was being a huge dick for that, i’m sorry”

eddie stretches his legs, inviting her to sit herself on his lap. and when she does, he holds her by the waist and feels nothing but happiness overtaking his entire fiber being, knowing that he stole her heart. again.

“i know—you said that about twenty times now” she jokes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. “i love you too, edsy—I’m sorry for giving you a hard time these past couple of days. and you don’t need to give me a dress or a fancy ring. i prefer your guitar pick over those shit”

his heart soars at that, thumping louder than ever. that’s probably the best thing anyone has ever said to him.

“now—skull motherfucking rock? yes?” she asks playfully , repeating what he said. his head bouncing up and down as an answer. “yay!! i do miss getting naked with you there—and who knows, maybe I’ll let you put it in another hole.” she pecks his lip and get up from his lap. sauntering towards the passenger seat.

eddie watches her ass moves under the skirt, swaying from side to side with eyes widening in excitement. seemingly cannot believe that he just heard her say that

oh he cannot fucking wait until they get there.

—

i feel like this one sucks:// but i hope you enjoy it nonetheless, anon!

no part two for this bjsndbs

(and one where she took brandon out for him will be in another request, teehee)

[littledigits]

That time when working in animation made me realize I needed therapy

Since we're on the topic of overworking / being passionate in animation and blah blah blah.  I want to share my story about working on the first season of Hilda (for context I was the animation director), specifically..how completely garbo my mental health got because 

I INSISTED ON WORKING MYSELF INTO THE GROUND. 

This is a story I've shared when I've had a chance to do lectures or talks, and if there is one really awesome thing that comes with ..weird ..animation clout, its that you can use those powers for good in terms of teaching people about the BS that comes with the job...anyway.

The reason why I like to talk about this is because I insisted on doing it to myself, and that was really got me thinking about the factors that do lead us into over working. Because heres the deal

Hilda season 1 was, without getting into too many details, a heckofatime...especally for the core crew. we were a small group, doing something new because most of us haven't worked on a show before that included pre production. My entire career up to that point had been working on service work for shows that were created in Burbank, so the new pipeline had a ton of challenges. We did all care, and we all believed in the project SOOOO much. I would tell people not to work over time, because I want my team to leave on time - but I was there...a lot. Leaving the studio by 11pm , working through the weekends..it wasnt an uncommon thing for me. sure , it wasnt all the time, but this stuff spans years sometimes so it went in waves. But whenever the challenges came up, i doubled down. because I super believed in it.

  And the thing was - other people told me to stop. I had a lot of valid concerns given to me by my friends and team members who saw how I was burning myself out at both ends. And I thought like, well , its my *choice*.  Its my chance to have a voice and be creative and try to do something different and we all have to push ourselves and yes its HARD but. THATS HOW YOU DO IT RIGHT? surely if I just make sure I’m the one overworking and my team isn't.. that's fine. 

Well, no, I was immensely effecting my team maybe I wasn’t telling them to work late, but they were seeing me get more and more tired and stay later and later.  I thought they would still approach me for help, or if they struggled. But the issues they had they kept to themselves without wanting to put more on my shoulders. Because they *cared* , just as much as I did ..and we all took more on our shoulders then we should have and there were a lot of things that I could have solved had I fostered a better communication environment.  I became really resentful in my head over the smallest things, I actually saw myself becoming a more hateful person and easily annoyed. I came home every day rambling about the frustrations. Now, let me preface this by saying - my mental state did not only have to do with overworking. I had and have things still to unpack, but the control I had over work and the validation I got from it was a coping mechanism for me. I really didnt think i had any worth as a person outside of this job. It basically was a very nasty cycle that didnt stop until ...well I had gotten so bad I had to.  By the end of the first season I was actually incredibly close to quitting . I was in big anxiety attack territory because I was so worn thin- I had started therapy but eventually moved onto getting medication as well and that was what allowed me to stick it out. ( I have the same therapist and I am on the same meds, it was very hard to do at the time, but i cant imagine my life now without making that choice ). After it was done I was immensely supported by the studio and worked part time as a trainer, which is what i requested to give my brain a break. (Only a few of my closer friends knew how bad I was getting but it was pretty obvious I needed to rest) I'm really proud of the work we did and we keep doing on the show, ..and some other people may have gone through something similar and found it was worth it, but thats not me. I still struggle not to fall back into that mindset, but it helps knowing that if i keep myself out of it , i can help my team out of it, because I know they care about this show just as much as I do. I’m not a martyr, I am a leader, and its up to me to keep myself healthy so I can keep my crew healthy.   I always strive to be better, but i get to decide what that looks like - and for me ..better has nothing to do with the image on the screen. Its got more to do with the experience of the people around me. Readjusting those priorities has helped a lot with keeping my head above water and not add to the pressure that makes it so hard not to get sucked down in the first place.  I do think its good to talk about though , how our passion and language and drive can lead to a lot of us being a part of this cycle. And if theres one good thing about the challenges, its sharing them so at least others can learn faster then you did ;) . take care of yourself friends.

[insufferableprotagonistpoll]

Propaganda why Dean Winchester is insufferable:

Really mean to Cas (called him a child, zero respect for him, calls him family and casts him out when the angels are looking for him), and an absolute dick to Jack (threatening to kill him CONSTANTLY)

>Was a misogynist (loved to call women skanks, bitches, hoes)

>Used gay as an insult multiple time during the show's run (idc if he's gay an homophobic, that's still insulting)

>Beat up his brother for being possessed

>Beat up his brother for losing his soul (not his brother's fault)

>Used dubious consent to get his brother possessed in a different unrelated possession incident after possession was being used (badly...this is supernatural after all) as a metaphor for SA

>Threatened to murder his brother when he was hallucinating (yay we aren't ableist)

>Locked a child up in a box

>Threatened to kill the child he locked up in a box

>Made a creepy, sexual comment about a barely-legal high school girl

>Got the woman and kid he was living with memory-wiped

misogynistic scumbag. theres also a few different times that dean finds teenagers sexy with the most recent and prominent example that i can recall being the scooby doo crossover episode in season 13 where hes super into daphne who in the version they chose for the episode is 15-16 and is interacting with her as if shes a real person cause they got magicked into the episode. he treats everyone around him like shit and the only time the narrative agrees that thats a bad thing is when he has the mark of cain put on him and hes acting no differently than he does usually its just now acknowledged that hes treating others like shit. ive been rewatching the show for shits and giggles with a friend and wow he really does not treat anyone well but i wanna focus on how he treats sam for a second cause dude's hobby seems to be ignoring what his brother wants and lying to sam about doing stuff that directly concerns him the demon blood and souless things are reasonable cause those were both Bad for sam but theyre still part of a wider pattern and the most prominent example of this being when dean tricks sam into letting gadreel possess him and actually gaslights sam about it with the whole ordeal ending when its revealed gadreel lied about who he was and while possessing sam murders a friend of theirs. his voice is just also stupid as fuck im sorry this is just petty but he just sounds like hes trying so hard to be gruff n intimidating but he just sounds like a kid pretending to be batman

Dean’s list of sins is crazy long because of how long the show ran, but the key thing for me is that post-locking Sam in the bunker (season 4 I think?), I just can’t enjoy their relationship anymore. I normally love their sibling dynamic, but Dean’s ultimate worst past-the-point-of-no-return moment for me was demonizing (pun intended) his little brother for being “addicted” to demon blood, which only happened because of a series of events that were either Dean’s or someone else’s fault, not Sam’s. I also really dislike how the fandom treats Dean like this angel (pun intended) who has done no wrong and even tries to justify the MULTIPLE times he’s beaten up and otherwise abused his little brother. Canon Dean is like the polar opposite of fanon Dean: he’s homophobic and racist (jokes about a Black man being sexually assaulted in prison), misogynistic (take a shot every time he calls a woman a slur and you’ll die of alcohol poisoning), and abusive.

Propaganda why the Tenth Doctor is insufferable:

They’re so *edgy*

That one time he committed a genocide by drowning the last children of a near-extinct species (Racnoss) because their mother was evil. The closest anyone ever got to calling him out on it was when Donna noted that his take on a *different* set of weird alien babies (the Adipose) was a lot nicer than last time.

A combination of hypocrisy, sanctimony, and an equally insufferable fanbase. And the dissonance between what he actually does and how the narrative presents it.