#not really hungry but when i am i binge...which is not good for me

[loveroftime]

My kitty Thor passed away, and I am not handling it well. I am a fucking mess and it's taking every ounce of the little bit of energy I have to not break down at work.

[wachi-delectrico]

Me, the three weeks I was home alone: Wow I'm eating on a much better schedule with a greater variety of meals and feel physically and mentally great, I haven't binged in forever and I'm able to hold back when I feel the urge to - why don't I do this when my family is around?

My family: *buys too much red meat, which I don't like much* *doesn't buy many vegetables and when they do they run out super quickly* *buys too much frozen and sugary food, which I don't like* *either nobody washes the dishes or they do but they keep stacking clean dishes on the countertop instead of putting them away, making the kitchen look super cluttered and hard to navigate* *they're downstairs all the time working and talking and yelling and doing a lot of noise and moving all over*

Me, starting to skip meals again due to the stress and lack of foods I enjoy: Ah,

[sserajeans]

you are in love | bonus 1. BHB, be honest bro! (written)

note: the convo happens when minyn r in the plane, so it's dialogue-focused with not much action involved

"so..."

"so what?"

"how are you and...?"

"minji..."

"i'm just checking on you! the aquatic games is enough on your plate, i'd rather talk about the fun stuff."

"fine fine. i've been having a lot of fun with her lately. like the past month has always just been practice, so the dates at the end of the week was stuff i could look forward to."

"that's so sweet why are you guys so sweet i feel sick to my stomach like no wo-"

"I KNOW!! dani's the sweetest... she really thought everything out. she makes me forget about morning practice the next day. she even brought breakfast in a little container one time when i was texting her about being especially hungry after practice."

"oh wow... you lucked out so hard... aren't you two supposed to be unlabeled too?"

"...yeah."

"she's so gonna step up her game when she asks."

"i can't think about it. she's way too good for me."

"what do you mean?"

"it's just... i can tell she's into it more than i am? and i feel like shit, being okay with just receiving all of it and not giving the same amount. and i'm scared that when she does ask me i still won't be in a place to truthfully say yes."

"well... let's not dive too deep, let's start with... maybe what's holding you back? from giving her that energy, i mean."

"well if you say it like that it just sounds like i've been treating her like ass. which i haven't! i really do try my best and everything, it's just.."

"just...?"

"i don't think my best for her is on the same level as her best for me."

"okay... well i think i'm beginning to see it. so let me rephrase, what's keeping you from reaching that level?"

"i... i don't really... know?"

"give it some time."

"wow you're really digging into the psychologist role huh?"

"doesn't it help you with mushing out your emotions or what?"

"...fine. let me think."

"sure."

"..."

"..."

"i think..."

"...you think?"

"i don't want to give her an insincere show of affection."

"so i'm guessing... you would rather be upfront with how much you feel and how you show it?"

"right, yeah."

"and?"

"and i guess there is something that holds me back from feeling that much for her."

"like?"

"i don't know? swim? that's all i can think about these days."

"well yeah, but you've been stressing over swim every season."

"that's true i guess, but also it's senior year. my performance this year determines whether i get to go to college as a national team member or not. anyways, give me more time to think?"

"sure."

"..."

"..."

"...this is hard."

"is it pham?"

"what?"

"is it pham? that's holding you back from feeling anything more."

"no? what? how did you even get to her?"

"in full honesty i didn't think much of it, but ever since that girl in class asked if you two were dating i was beginning to see dots i could connect."

"literally what dots. there are no dots to connect."

"call me insane-"

"you're insane."

"-but it made sense, okay? you liked her-"

"-in freshman year!"

"and i don't think she likes you and dani hanging out."

"what? that's stupid, what makes you think that?"

"well she says it's about her best friend hanging out with the group less, especially since it's senior year now and all."

"well yeah i'd get that but... she's never mentioned this when i went out with like leehan and the rest?"

"nah it's more of how you got a girl now."

"oh..."

"yeah."

"what if she just likes dani? it makes a lot more sense than this theory of yours where she likes her literal childhood best friend who she, by the way, more or less rejected 5 years ago."

"i don't know y/n, this past month has been weird. she's the reason you haven't died from the allergy attack and the reason you have your swim cap, you know that right?"

"what about the swim cap?"

"forced me to come with her and help you in person. at like the crack ass of night."

"okay but you were probably just binging something on the tv."

"my point exactly! she cut off my relaxing time."

"you're unbelievable."

"well yes, but anyways, my hunches on these are almost always right. remember when i told you i felt like you'd win gold for the 100m fly category in last year's regional event?"

"yeah."

"and you did win, didn't you?"

"i did."

"there you go. the only problem here is hanni is still fully convinced she's straight."

"and that i don't like her anymore? and that i'm literally going out with someone else?"

"yeah whatever, sure you don't."

"i'm being for real."

"if you're being for real... let me in your private account."

"...what."

"come on! you let wonyoung in it!"

"i was going through a crisis back in 10th when backyardigans were distant 'cause jiwoo was a brooding teenager! plus, i kicked her when i started going out with dani."

"be honest bro!"

"fine!"

masterlist. next.

taglist: @yyeonmis @lostamoeba @jisooftme @yoontoonwhs @awkwardtoafault @kvnii @lcv3lies @limbforalimb @spritin @kaypanaq @i06kkura @manooffline @kimsgayness @justme-idle @jenaissantex @mightymyo @sewiouslyz @txtbrainrot @li0ilthecxnt @captivq @paranoxic @sofakingwoso @daniellobers @pandafuriosa60 @haerinkisser @staryujinnie @wowowowcake @lesleepyyy @haechansbbg @rosiehrs @jiwoneiric @blue4hour

[gabessquishytum]

I think not enough people have come to talk to you about chubby Hob. So I am here to push the chubby!Hob agenda!!

Human au maybe, where Hob has a long and storied past. He was homeless for a bit, he was food insecure for longer. And now that he's settled and secure in a decent flat with a good job (maybe this is an au where he's the chef at the New Inn?) He has to keep his pantry full. And he always cleans his plate. No leftovers in this house. He was intense about it for a while and it was maybe hoarding and binging, but he's got it mostly under control now. He just likes to know he won't go hungry. The side effect of this is he's put on some weight. He's got a belly, his thighs and arms are thick. He's honestly pretty happy with it, since it's more proof he isn't starving anymore.

Enter Dream. Dream is depressed and introverted at the best of times. But he's just gotten out of an abusive workplace that had him so anxious he wasn't eating and hes... kind of forgotten food can be enjoyable. Death takes him to the New Inn to get him out more, to coax him into trying something new. Dream orders the safest sounding thing on the menu. Something simple. And when it comes out it smells amazing, and when Dream picks off the tiniest bite to try it, it's incredible. He's ruined for this dish from anywhere else. Death watches him eat an entire plate of food for the first time in months and insists the chef come out so they can thank him personally.

And Hob and Dream lock eyes and sparks fly. Dream comes back and orders the same dish every day for lunch for 2 weeks until one day Hob sends out the usual and an extra side. The waiter hands him a napkin from Hob to go with the side that has "trust me" written on it in sharpie. And that's how Dream starts trying more things on the menu. Until one day Dream asks the waiter what dish he's been given to try today and the waiter says it isn't on the menu. They'll go ask Hob about it. Hob comes out and says it's an exclusive that Dream will only see again if he let's Hob take him on a date and cook him dinner personally.

🍰🐲

I see the words Chubby Hob, I light up like a christmas tree.

I love the idea of Hob being the new inn's chef, that feels so perfect! I bet he would find a lot of comfort in having this kitchen which is just as well stocked as his own kitchen upstairs, full of ingredients, and he can cook all day and make himself snacks and little meals during the quiet spots in the day, and also snacks for all the staff members. It soothes the part of his brain that is still cold and scared. And he doesn't mind that he'll always have a bit of a thing about food, because he's safe now. He can eat nice things and buy new jeans when he needs a size up. It's all good.

And when he sees Dream, he implicitly wants to make everything ok for him. And make food for him. Hot pies, lasagna, fish and chips. He just wants Dream to feel warm and safe, like Hob does now! It's not like he can fix everything, but maybe he can give Dream a little bit of hope?

Ultimately it doesn't take much to convince Dream to shyly head up the stairs to Hob’s flat, and sit at the kitchen table in the warm lamplight while Hob cooks dinner for them both. Hob even baked biscuits for Dream to nibble while he waits. Maybe while he's exploring the flat Dream finds a few pictures of a hollow cheeked, painfully thin looking Hob, and everything starts to make sense.

They have a little cuddle on the sofa after dinner, and Dream gets to curl up against Hob’s warm soft belly. He feels very safe there, with Hob’s arms wrapped around him. He likes the way Hob is padded and squishy with no hard edges, and Dream can just sink into him. Neither of them are really thinking about sex but much later, Dream will definitely fantasise about grabbing that soft belly, maybe rutting against it, maybe biting it.....

And maybe he'll get a little healthy meat on his bones too. Dream definitely wouldn't be mad about it if the results of all Hob’s good food start to show on his body. In fact, he might be a bit proud.

[maopll]

May I request Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, and Diavolo with a confectioner reader?

SWEET TREATS !

| obey me!

⌗:, a/n: first obey me req! I love any ask which has something to do with sweets. thanks for giving diavolo though I love this himbo.

⌗:, warning: fluff only

⌗:, pairings: lucifer, mammon, satan & diavolo w/ gn!confectioner!reader (separately)

,,baking sweets have been running in your family since. your friends, teachers, and neighbours all have complemented that your sweets taste like the celestial realm and...they were not joking,,

LUCIFER was once again overworking himself so to help him get through those stacks of paperwork you prepared some tea and biscuits. you kept those at a place where he could reach.

He was a bit hungry that moment since he had been overworking non-stop so it was like a midnight snack at this point even if the tea had grown cold. Once he tasted those however, he thought 'they taste good' but when he tried to grab for more he was met with empty plate because he basically ravaged the plate without thinking that he had been binge eating. he was going to ask you where you found those biscuits from and he was amazed to hear that you baked those. you truly have some worthy talents thus the reason why you belong in the house of lamentation. he had to admit that those felt like the baked goodies he found in the celestial realm back when he was still an angel. but now that he has you he can always ask you for more. but for rigjt now he is not going to get more cause according to you Beel ate them. you can always make more for your overworked luci :)

MAMMON and you were inside the kitchen while he was talking about the happenings of the week while you were preparing some lunch for everyone because the next day was school. everyone had mostly the same but he had fee sweets because he is your favourite dumb lover

he did see you put some sweets and he had that pikachu meme face. he was BAFFLED hearing that you can bake. WELL that's the very reason why you are his human. Make more for him he loves your cooking he just can't get enough. especially those croissants that you make. Before he really didn't like human world cooking but yours can be an exception. Your cakes, crackers and other baked foods tasted like the ones Michael and Lucifer used to make for him when he was a kid and would always annoy his brother to make more because 'I am hungry!'. You saw how mammon's eyes were a little dazed and heard him chuckle a little. looks like he's remembering those good memories.

DIAVOLO was sitting in his office taking care of the ministrations of devildom at large and the paperwork of RAD. he had been doing it and the heaps of paper just never seem to end and while you did know that he would be working at the very moment thanks to a certain butler. so you gave the cake you made for him and some tea and asked Barbatos to serve it to him because you didn't want to disturb him when he's busy and he would definitely ditch the paperwork to just talk to you

He was still doing his paperwork when Barbatos came with some tea and cake. He thought he had made them so with a simple 'thank you' he had him leaving the room to take care of other works. After a while, when he was finally going to eat those, he felt like he ascended to the heavens. he swore he saw some white pearly gate with trumpets. How did these taste so good? he has had enough of Barbatos's food that he should know their taste by now, so how did these taste so different and so...delicious? on inquiring barbatos, he found out you made it and asked him to serve it to him. Now he was running to his phone just to ask you to come here. he can't thank you enough for giving him foods that give him more energy! he knew it was the right idea to bring you in as the exchange student since you were basically good at everything! Well now since you have shown your talents he will NOT hesitate to shamelessly ask you to bring some more. he loves you <3

SATAN here was making food for asmo because he demanded that one food that was all the rage in devilgram but he didn't get to eat and only Satan was the one who had it. since he knew how it tasted he should be the one to make it right? so here he is baking some raindrop cake

He reluctantly agreed because if he didn't do it he would constantly annoy him and that would just fuel his anger more. so he begrudgingly decided to listen to his whims. He was kinda frustrated because one, he just brought a new book about cats and he has been wanting to read it for so long and two, he can't get this thing in the right shape either and it's just been a hard journey all along. He was thinking of blasting away the kitchen but he held together what little piece he had of his patience and thank god you arrived at the right moment. please help him dude can't figure out anything.

He had been sitting across you while you baked and he gave instructions but he didn't think so you would actually be able to bake that??? he gotta admit he underestimated you and your decorations on top and the taste of it was immaculate. he was craving for more but that was for asmo and he really went ahead and asked without thinking "can I have more" and he was blushing hard because he just spitted out his inner thoughts. he was met with cackles from you but you will always make him some more if he wants all he needs to do is just ask !

[bebepac]

Tornado Taylor 🌪

I am participating in @choicesflashfics  prompt  # 22  “I am at my wits end with you.”  which will be in bold

I am also participating in @choicesmonthlychallenge prompt:  Can I at least tell my side of the story, which will also be in bold.  

The Book:  TRR (no royals)  Series: Chapter 6:  School Dayz  (link posted if you need to catchup)  Pairings:  Liam x Riley Word Count: 1575 Warning and Ratings:  NONE!   Mood Music Monday Song Imspiration: The Call: Regina Spektor Summary:  Riley gets roped into shenanigans with her sister.

Original Post: 03/04/23 at 9:15PM  EST.

“TELL ME THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW RILEY ANTONIA BROOKS!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!”  My father’s voice boomed in anger.

 This was probably the most angry I had seen him in a long time.

‘I didn’t do it! I promise!”  

“I am at my wits’ end with you!”  

Taylor remained silent.

“Taylor!!!!”  I screamed at her. My sister had her look.  Her ‘She’s pleading the 5th look  where she stops answering questions.’  She wouldn’t leave me to hang out to dry like this in something I had no part of…. Would she? Her own sister  - - her identical twin at that.

“Taylor please….”  

“Dad, she said no. She didn't do anything wrong.”

“I don’t believe either of you right now.  We’re leaving.”  

“Dad, no, I already took the written test. I took it!”  Taylor insisted.  

Dad grabbed me by one arm and then Taylor by the other taking us up to the examiner.  

“Are you able to verify which one of these girls  took the written driver’s test?”

The examiner looked from Taylor to myself, and back again,  The both of us were dressed identically, We looked the exact same down to my sneakers.

“No…I can't tell the difference between the two of them.”  

“Didn’t think so, so we won’t be completing this driving test today.”  

You may be asking yourself how I got myself into this predicament.  I have two words for you.  Tornado Taylor.  

I love my sister, I really truly do.  She’s smart and not just another ditsy popular girl.  

If she put as much focus into hair-brained schemes as she put into school, she’d be on the dean’s list right now, like I am, instead of barely on  A / B honor Roll. School came pretty easy to Taylor and if she actually studied…. Like I have to study, she could be running circles around me.

But I’m getting sidetracked. Here’s how Tornado Taylor sucked me up into her vortex.

Three Hours Ago:

I woke up that morning without incident.  Since it was a teacher’s work day and we didn’t have school, my body is used to its routine of  getting up early. I decided to make myself a bowl of cereal  while the house was still quiet.  Afterwards I showered and dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of jeans.  

She peeked her head into my room.  

I lounged on my bed streaming the new series that had just debuted on the APP called The Vampires Live On.  I had to share my login with Taylor but at least we watched different things.  It was very rare that the two of us watched the same shows or had to restart a series.  

“Ri, Breakfast.”  

“I already ate.”  

“Oh. You’re already up and dressed?”   Taylor was still in pajamas.  

“Yeah, I’m laying low today.”

“After breakfast Dad’s taking me to the DMV to get my license.”  

“Good Luck!”  

“I don’t need luck, I have a plan.”

I should have taken it as a warning... but I didn’t.   

Two Hours Ago

Hungry from my binge watching I came into the kitchen for a snack finding Jaiden sitting on the couch about to turn on the TV.

He looked at me in an odd way.  

“Hey?”  

“What are you planning on watching?”

“Don’t know yet. What are you watching currently?”

“The Vampires Live On.”  

“Yeah  I heard that’s supposed to be good. You like it?”

“Yeah. You should check it out.  I’m on episode 2 it’s really good.”  

“Noted.”  

“Taylor and Dad are still at the DMV?”  

“Yep, Taylor had one job.  To make her appointment for her driving test and exam and she didn’t. Now they’re waiting to be seen. Of course she blamed the app and not herself.”  

“God… Dad is probably livid.  You know he just hates sitting somewhere waiting.”

“Yep.”

“I’ll be sure not to be around when they get back, he’s going to be grumpy.”  

“Yep.  I’m taking Bebe to the lake.”  

“Have fun.”  

“We will.”

One Hour Ago

I had dozed off binge watching the show and woke up when my phone buzzed.

Taylor: Riley help!

Riley: What’s wrong?

Taylor: Can you come to the DMV right now?

Riley:  Why?

Taylor:  I need you.

Riley:  Why?

Taylor:  I need a tampon. I’m in the bathroom. I’m embarrassed to come out.

Dad, even though he could be grumpy at times,  when it came to “womanly concerns”  as he called them, he had no problem going to buy what we needed and even coming back with our favorite chocolate candy in tow with him without us asking.  He knew I liked kit kats, Taylor, peanut butter cups, and mom likes a bag of bite size snickers. Dad tried to be sensitive to those things.  He had taught Jaiden to be sensitive too, and Jaiden was just like dad in that aspect.

When I didn’t respond Taylor texted again.  

Taylor:  Dad is mad at me because I didn’t make an appointment on the DMV app, and I don’t want to have to send him out to get something else, or he’ll go nuclear. Can you help me please?

Riley: I'll be there in a little bit.

I put on my shoes and  headed down the stairs.

Jaiden perked up when I walked in the room.

"Where are you going?"

"Taylor needs me."

"She's fine with Dad."

"It's a girl emergency.”  

“Oh. You should change though.”  

“No time. I won’t be gone long.”

Jaiden sighed.  Now I think my brother knew exactly what I was walking right into.  Tornado Taylor.

I ran out the door.  It didn’t take me long to get to the DMV,  I went immediately to the bathrooms.  

“Taye?”  

“Last stall.”  

“Well open the door.”  

I was surprised to see Taylor dressed identically to me.

“What are you doing?”

“I banked on the chance you wouldn’t change your clothes.  So funny story.. I need your help for something else.”

“I don’t like where this is going Taye…”  

“So I totally didn’t study for the written test, can you take it for me?”  

“What?   No!!!!”  

“I will totally ace the driving part.”

“Taylor no! This has to be illegal or something. NO! Or the very least identity theft.”

“Theft is a strong word, especially if I’m letting you borrow my identity.”

“That is not how it works Taylor!! Did you even need the tampons? Stupid me of course you didn’t!!!”

There was a knock on the door.  

“Taylor, they called your number, time to take your test.”  

“Okay Dad, I’ll be right out.”  

“Riley come on!!!”  

“No.”  I said in a forced whisper.

“Riley please!?!?!?!”

“NO!!!”

“Then you’re stuck in here until we can sneak you out.”  Taylor commented in a matter of fact way.     I couldn’t believe I got myself roped into Taylor’s shenanigans yet again.  

About thirty minutes later Taylor returned.  

“Dad went to the vending machine to get us drinks.  Let’s get you out before he sees you or your car.”  

I had almost made it to the door out of the DMV when I heard my father’s voice.

“What’s going on here?”

I turned around to face my father.

“Hey Dad.”  

“Riley, what are you doing here?”  

He took a moment to look at the two of us, his face turning bright red.

“Taylor Jeanine Brooks you have three seconds to tell me what’s going on.”  

Taylor smiled her megawatt smile, “So Dad, funny story….”  

“Nope, nevermind, that’s probably going to be a lie. Riley, tell me the truth.”

“Dad…..”

“TELL ME THE TRUTH RIGHT NOW RILEY ANTONIA BROOKS!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!”  My father’s voice boomed in anger. This was probably the most angry I had seen him in a long time.

Annnd… we’re back to where you guys came in.  Tornado Taylor got me again.   I could expect nothing less than World War  Brooks when we all got back home.  I was able to drive myself back home, and you know what?  I didn’t feel the least bit sorry for Taylor having to ride all the way home with our father who was as angry as a disturbed hornet’s nest.  

The moment we got home  Jaiden came into the living room when he heard all the commotion.  

“Riley, give me your car keys. You’re grounded.”

“But Dad…. I didn’t do anything.  Can I at least tell my side of the story?”  

“She had no clue what she was walking into Dad. Look at Riley’s phone.”  Jaiden spoke up for me.  

At that moment, I could have completely saved myself  and given my father the phone, but something was stirring in my stomach.  

“Riley, give me your phone.”  

“No.”  

Shocked, Taylor glared at me.  Even though Tornado Taylor was a mess at times, read all the time, I still loved her to the moon and back again.

“I am trustworthy, and if I say I didn’t take the test for her, you should believe me Dad.  Despite the overwhelming data that says we did something shady.  You should believe ME….I’ve never given you a reason not to trust me.  So, if not giving you my phone right now means I’m grounded too,  I guess I will be grounded too.”  

I dropped my car keys on the table and walked upstairs towards my room.  

In the distance I heard the equivalent of my sister falling on the sword for me.  

“Dad, please don’t ground Riley.  She did nothing wrong, this is all my fault.”

From that moment on, the relationship between us changed.  My sister never again saw me as someone she could manipulate to get what she wanted, but let’s be honest, she should have never been looking at me that way in the first place.

[vannahfanfics]

One Piece Live Action: Review

Well, I came home after work yesterday and immediately binged the entirety of the live-action One Piece adaptation. Now that it's morning, I thought I would collect my thoughts (which I rambled to several friends and also into my handy-dandy phone notepad app) and write a review, for anyone who's interested. I'll be honest, it's mostly for me; I have so many feelings as someone who actually loves cinematography and the artistic analysis of film with regard to storytelling—because we all know how much I love my stories—that I just have to rave about this honest-to-goodness masterpiece of a show. Obviously, it will be very spoiler-heavy, so read at your own discretion!

So, I'll start with a blanket statement and reiterate that, again, I thought this show was a masterpiece. Given the history of live-action anime adaptations, I was cautious in not having terribly high expectations, even after learning that Oda was intimately involved in the production; I also went in looking to respect it as its own entity, though, and willing to look past certain things provided there were no egregious insults to the source material. And y'all, when I say I was blown away—I damn near had a smile on my face the whole night watching it. It wasn't just the nostalgia; it was the overbearing feeling that so much love was poured into this show, which I find to be unfortunately lacking in a lot of Hollywood films these days. I found myself thinking of the Peter Jackson adaptations of the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Though there were changes, some of them large, none of them felt averse to the source material; in fact, the changes felt like they came from an admiration of the source material and a strong desire to bring them justice. I dunno, I was just amazed by the pervading feeling that each and every person involved in making this show had a dream to bring One Piece to life, and they poured every ounce of effort into bringing that dream to fruition—which is what One Piece is all about. This has set the standard for live-action anime adaptations, and I finished this show so desperately hungry for more, to see how they could go bigger and better when bringing the subsequent arcs to life in a nostalgic but refreshingly new way. Goda has delivered yet again, and honestly, I will never be the same. Words aren't going to be able to capture the depth of my feelings about this show, but I must ramble on nonetheless because I am just so awed and inspired and emotional about it.

Episode 1: Romance Dawn

First of all, it's a no-brainer to have the first episode of the series titled "Romance Dawn," but it still made me giddy. The opening sequence was sick. Michael Dorman absolutely sells it as Gol D. Roger; his absolute blitheness in the face of his impending death is so spot-on, and his rendition of the "Wealth, Fame, Power" speech was so rousing. I loved that they kept the fact that Dracule, Shanks, Smoker, and Dragon were in attendance, too, and though they were the briefest of blips, their appearances hinted at the personalities and relationships with Roger that manga/anime followers already know well: Dracule, simply intrigued and stoic; little Shanks, distraught at the looming death of his captain; young Smoker, mystified at the downfall of such a legend but not necessarily sad; and Dragon, who is shown only in his green cloak, shrouded in mystery as he is. I liked the inclusion of Garp at the execution, especially given his expanded role in this adaptation of the series, but also because of his close relationship with Roger in canon; it only makes sense that he would be there at the end. I was also pleasantly surprised that they showed Roger's death on-screen. It immediately established that the tone of this version of One Piece would be darker, with the stakes higher, and I honestly love that. Finally, the overhead scene of all the people rushing out of the square to take to the seas was so breathtaking; it really drove home the impact that this one man and his words had on the world, to the point that his legacy is still going strong twenty years later.

I loved the way we are introduced to Luffy, with this new scene of him rambling to the mail pelican while shoveling water out of his sinking dinghy. It was very Jack Sparrow-esque, which was a nice nod to another defining powerhouse of the pirate adventure genre, but also so Luffy. And I maintained that feeling throughout the show. I mean, even down to the little things, like Luffy smiling every time he was in a fight, him holding onto his hat while fighting to keep it from falling off, him cheering and screaming and crowing with glee—all the little nuances were just so Luffy! I'll probably say it a thousand times throughout this, but every single member of the cast is astounding in their roles and how they embody the characters. Iñaki is no exception; he is Luffy, through and through, even if not exactly the same as the anime/manga Luffy that we all know and love. Also, the CGI effects of his rubber abilities are really cool! I imagine that was so hard to pull off, but they really do a good job of trying to make it as believable as possible.

I will scream from the rooftops about how much I love the treatment of Alvida's character. There was not even one single quip of her being "fat" or "ugly"; everything pertaining to how she is "bad" was geared to her cruelty, and I love that we've broken away from that stereotype in this show. Also, Ilia Isorelýs Paulino slayed as Alvida. She was every ounce of strong, brutal, and callous as canon Alvida, and honestly, she looks gorgeous doing it.

Also, I lived for Koby and Luffy's friendship in this series. Morgan Davies did such a fantastic job portraying Koby and his growth, and his chemistry with Iñaki was just so... yes. Every time they are on screen together, I have the biggest, stupidest smile on my face because you can just see how deep their friendship is despite not knowing each other for very long. Their goodbye scene was so, so, so touching; with the lighting, and the music, and the expression on Koby and Luffy's faces... I got misty-eyed in a way I didn't reading the manga. Given how Koby's friendship with Luffy is such a defining part of his character in the manga, the fact that they evolved it after this initial arc made me incredibly happy. If this show goes on, I'd love to see how they continue to show Koby's growth alongside the Straw Hat's adventures, given the pivotal roles he goes on to play in the narrative.

Another thing I love is the fact that the Straw Hat's backgrounds are shown in pieces throughout the narrative at key moments in the present, such that past and present parallel. It's so good and so much more impactful than just having it shown as one big chunk. Since this is largely Luffy and Shanks' background, I'll focus on it. Peter Gadiot did such a compelling job as Shanks. His portrayal of Shanks carried a tenderness and care for Luffy that just tugged at all my heartstrings. Like, his expression when he realized that Luffy ate the Devil Fruit was just so amazingly haunting... The guilt, the horror, the realization that Luffy's life will never be the same, and there's nothing he can do... Simply spectacular. Also, I will comment again on just how amazing the casting was. Even the background characters, such as Shanks' crew, just shined in their brief moments. Like, even Makino—her minimal reactions with Luffy and Shanks were just so her! She and Shanks really had that "husband and wife" energy, and I lived for it. I also have to give a round of applause to the dialogue in the series. The small changes from the manga/anime defined these portrayals of the characters as distinct from those we've come to love, but in the best way. I was on the FLOOR when little Luffy yelled "Why didn't you get his ass?!" at Shanks because it came out of left field yet was so believable and so Luffy with what we'd been shown so far. Iconic.

I loved the introduction to Zoro's character! It was so him, but also, I was amazed by the inclusion of Baroque Works so early on! His fight with the previous Number 7 was badass, and the fact that, again, the show didn't shy away from on-screen death really highlighted how dangerous this world really is. And it contradicts so well with Nami's introduction, which is so playful, with her jaunty little theme in the background. It's just so One Piece, adrenaline-pumping action and high stakes balanced with lighthearted energy and fun. Then, the bar sequence was just... chef's kiss. I love that the original three came together in the first episode; I was so excited to see what it meant as far as changes to the story and how their dynamic develops. The way they wove in scenes from the manga/anime into this new narrative was so clever; we still got Zoro eating the little girl's rice ball off the ground, establishing how good of a character he is despite seeming so ruthless. But also, can we talk about the choreography of Zoro's fight scene against all those Marines? Just... The fact that he didn't even draw his sword once because he didn't even feel them worthy opponents, the languid nonchalance of his movements when he stepped away from the bar interspersed with his crisp agility in cutting them down, the guy he took out with the cup?! Amazing. Mackenyu read the goddamn assignment. Also, Nami using her wiles to flirt with a Marine, then knocking him out to steal his uniform as soon as he's distracted... Classic Nami. And then Luffy, getting super excited at seeing Zoro fight... while Koby immediately crawls under the table to hide, LOL.

Also, props to Aidan Scott for his portrayal of Helmeppo, like, he perfectly captured the whiny bitch energy. Crawling on his hands and knees away as soon as Zoro gets one hit in on him is classic Helmeppo lmao. I also liked that they didn't shy away from hinting at how terribly Morgan treats him, though I do wish we could have seen a little more of it, if only for the sake of rounding out Helmeppo's character to make his growth throughout the show more impactful (and I will rant and rave about his growth because, my gosh, I love what they did with his character!). I died at the infamous naked sword-practicing scene, but like, it was also so perfect? Like, it just gave even more depth to his character, showing that he does desire to be strong and taken seriously, and how much his mistreatment by his father affects him. The fact that Zoro is the one who gave him his curly-bob haircut sends me, though, just... so hysterical. I screamed.

Langley Kirkwood did a great job at playing Axe-Hand Morgan, too; he totally captured his swagger, self-confidence, and tendency to exaggerate his own accomplishments. I liked that they changed the narrative a bit to where Zoro ended up in the yard because he refused to join Morgan rather than just him beating up Helmeppo; like, it just added such a neat spin to his character, showing that he is devoted to being a bounty hunter simply because he is searching for strong opponents for the pursuit of his dream and nothing else.

I also loved the changes to how Zoro, and Nami, end up joining up with Luffy. My heart swelled when Luffy untied Zoro simply because he wanted him to be able to follow his dream, and that's all, not as a means of pressuring Zoro to join him. Then Nami, sneaking around the Marine Base and stumbling upon Luffy, who almost gets them caught time and time again. It's just so them. I was so overjoyed to see Nami get some action with her Climatact, too! It was so nice to not see her overshadowed by the guys, but right there in the thick of it with them. And, speaking of in the thick of it, the fight with Axe-Hand Morgan was so good! The choreography was amazing, and the music accompanying it just made it that much more heart-pumping. I literally starting pumping my fist and whooping when the bandana and third sword came out, like, iconic Zoro moment brought to life.

Finally, Buggy's introduction at the end was so spot-on. The drama. The excessiveness. The madness. It made me so pumped, alongside seeing that Garp going after Luffy was going to be put at the beginning of the series. Some people didn't like the change, but honestly, it made more sense to me that he would go after Luffy immediately, seeing as he was intent on testing Luffy to see if he was ready to take on the world. It's evident that Garp deeply cares for Luffy, and it just makes sense to me that he wouldn't wait.

Episode 2: The Man in the Straw Hat

Honestly, this is one of my favorite episodes, and all because of Jeff Ward's portrayal of Buggy. It was so amazing. But, I also like the beginning segment showing Zoro, Nami, and Luffy's dynamic. There really is tension among them; they are not a crew yet, and seeing them come together over adversities and genuinely beginning to see each other as a crew and a family just gives me the warm and fuzzies. Because trust isn't just immediately given; it's earned, and it takes time, and seeing them slowly realize how special Luffy is and become compelled and inspired to follow him is so special.

Okay, but onto the main act: Buggy. Buggy. BUGGY! I loved the changes they made to this whole thing, honestly. Setting it in a whole circus tent where the audience is kidnapped town members rather than just... a concrete slab in a ruined town, was so smart. Like, as silly as Buggy is, he is still a menacing pirate, and the way they set up this encounter really reminded us of that. And y'all, I cannot praise enough Jeff Ward's Buggy. So amazing. Like, he's so demented yet pathetic in that Buggy way that it blows my mind, and yet, he still brought his own spin to it by really leaning into the fact that Buggy is the way he is because of his insecurities, to the point that he is totally delusional about what really happened between him and Shanks. Like, the personality switch when he realizes that Luffy knows Shanks, and he full-heartedly believes that Luffy was abandoned by Shanks, too, and is an outcast like him, and offers to have him join his crew, but being so spine-chillingly twisted the whole time is just so, so, so good. Also, again, the CGI for his Devil Fruit abilities was so cool and slick. It captured that perfect balance between horrifying and comical that's so Buggy. Finally, again, I love the changes to the dialogue that came with the show. Buggy's "Surprise, shitheads!" is just so him but still had me rolling because I didn't expect it.

And, in true One Piece fashion, Luffy's perilous plight is countered with the relative light-heartedness of Nami and Zoro escaping to rescue him. Seriously, I love the sass that Mackenyu brings to Zoro. The "Yeah, that does sound like me" was just so perfect.

The water tank scene was... oh my gosh. I will say it again and again throughout my review, but it was so clever and symbolic of them to put the flashbacks in places in the present that parallel each other. I knew it was coming, but the scene where Shanks saves Luffy was just so emotional and raw. Again, Peter Gadiot brings such a softness to Shanks that I love; the tenderness when he hugs Luffy and tells him that he doesn't care about his arm, that he's just glad he's okay, looks like it really comes from the heart. I was in tears at the end of the flashback when Shanks bequeathed his hat to Luffy; it was so emotional, and the choice to have Shanks tell Luffy to "Be good" almost killed me. Because it isn't just him telling him to behave... It's telling him to be a good person, and that's the core of Luffy's character: he's just, he's compassionate, he's truly good in a world so corrupt. Literally, that one small moment took my breath away. Finally, just a small note, but God, did I love the way that they showed Conqueror's Haki! I was interested as to how they were going to do it, and it delivered.

Finally, Iñaki has Luffy's "Don't mess with my friend or I'll kick your ass" glare down pat. When he looked at Buggy, I lost my mind with excitement because I knew shit was about to get real!

Episode 3: Tell No Tales

I really like the title of this episode, too. Not only is it clever because it's Usopp's episode, but it foreshadows the horror movie-esque vibe that Kuro's personage brings to the show by bringing to mind the saying "dead men tell no tales."

I love that the episode starts off with another scene of Luffy, Zoro, and Nami on the boat to show how they are coming together. The banter is different, somehow, with an undercurrent of growing care and trust. Also, of course, I love that they kept the janky Jolly Roger and the details of paint splatter on Luffy's face. It was just a classic cute, funny Straw Hats moment. I also loved all their interactions in the mansion, especially the changing room scene. Like, I love that they kept Luffy's acespec overtones by having him totally not react to Nami asking for opinions on how she looks at all.

I love the changes they brought to Syrup Village! Like, it was so clever to make it a shipwright's town with Usopp having a job in the shipyard, which gives more weight to his abilities as a shipwright and inventor plus the deep bond he develops with the Going Merry. Also, I adore Jacob Romero Gibson's rendition of Usopp! He makes his character so funny, so charming, so lighthearted like the comic-relief Usopp we know, but with some slight changes that really define him as a distinct Usopp. His chemistry with Kaya is so good; I loved the treatment they got in this adaptation. You could truly feel the love and deep bond between them.

Again, the side character casting is amazing. Celeste Loots makes the sweetest, most adorable Kaya. Her look of inspired wonder when Luffy was talking about a pirate's love for their ship and how it's a home was so simple, yet so defining for both her and Luffy's characters. I also loved that she and Nami bonded! It was a clever way to give insight into both of their characters. Alexander Maniatis played such a great Kuro; like, the instant I saw him, I got chills down my spine because he seemed such a prim and proper butler yet had such an edge of malice about him. Also, he nailed the Kuro glasses gesture. Also, Sham and Rika were so well done; they really nailed that whimsical horror vibe going on. Finally, Merry was done well, too! Though I adore him, I was glad that they chose to actually kill him this go-around. First of all, from a medical perspective, it's hard to survive that kind of wound LOL; but also, it again showed just how high the stakes are and how frighteningly ruthless and cold Kuro is.

I was fascinated to see the addition of the Marines to this arc, but honestly, I loved it. The scene of Usopp running through the streets screaming for help was so heartbreaking; Jacob killed it, especially with the expression of disbelief, terror, and desperation on his face as he slowly sat down whispering "Why won't anyone believe me?" Again, so clever to superimpose this with the crux of his backstory, with the reveal that his chronic lying stems from the trauma of his mother's illness and believing that if he just kept up this ritual every day, his father would come home and everything would be right again in the world; sympathy for Usopp hit me more than it ever had. Then, for it to pan to Koby leaning over him earnestly saying, "I believe you," I got chills. Absolutely stupendous way to end the episode.

Episode 4: The Pirates Are Coming

This one is also one of my favorite episodes, for multiple reasons, all pertaining to character development.

The scenes of Zoro in the well will haunt me forever in the best way. It was just such an amazing choice, symbolically, to parallel his scenes of backstory with Kuina with him struggling to get out of this well, a deep, dark hole from which he seemingly cannot escape, just like the deep, dark hole of insecurity he struggled to climb out of with Kuina, and the deep, dark hole of trying to honor Kuina's memory that he struggles with early on. Him slipping each time he is defeated by Kuina or something happens to knock him down... Him climbing higher as his childhood self grows and bonds with Kuina... It was just so artistic, so beautiful, that I still get chills thinking about it. The amazing score that accompanies the scenes also has a lot to do with it. I haven't touched on the score much, but honestly, it's so amazing too. Also, shoutout to the actor who played Kuina's dad. Like, the way he delivered the news of Kuina's death to Zoro was so powerful; him trying to be the stoic sensei, but still crying a tear, and them embracing at the end... My heart hurted.

There is a lot of good Koby growth in this episode as well! This is where we really see him struggle with his sense of "justice" that he gains and grows throughout the anime/manga... Wanting to follow orders, but wanting to follow his heart, but not yet having the courage to stand up to authority, all foiled by Helmeppo, who is jaded by the reality of the Marines and lacks empathy for others secondary to his own self-hatred... It's so good, and a wonderful addition, in my opinion, because I hate that a lot of the growth of the other characters in One Piece happens behind the scenes sometimes.

Again, I love the changes to Usopp in this adaptation, and it peaks with him choosing to stay with Kaya in the mansion. It just gives a glimmer of the Usopp we come to see, the one who refuses to run away when the things he cares about are truly threatened, and drives home the fact that Usopp loves Kaya enough to face certain death for her, despite his cowardly tendencies. Just amazing.

But again, I have to give props to the actors of the Kuro crew, and the whole team behind this sequence. It was so creepy! Like, it had such a maliciousness and element of horror that the anime/manga just couldn't capture. I knew what happened in the end, but I was still on pins and needles the whole time because there was just so much tension! I did laugh at the Zoro and Luffy moment out in the woods, though, referencing Zoro's nonexistent sense of direction. And Zoro's fight with the lackeys was amazingly choreographed, as always, with Mackenyu really nailing Zoro getting enraged when Kuina's sword was stolen.

The ending scenes! What a way to end such a tense episode! I screamed at the UsoKaya kiss; it was so unexpected yet delightful! But also, the Straw Hats' reactions were so them. And then, the bliss and exhilaration as they sailed away on the Going Merry, while notes of "We Are" played in the background. Even the small details hit me, like Zoro finding a place to sleep and sleeping with Kuina's sword, and Luffy and Usopp arguing over who's captain, and all of them laughing together... just really captured the world I love. Then, an amazing cliffhanger with them being attacked by Garp and Luffy dropping the "Grandpa?" bomb. Perfect.

Episode 5: Eat At Baratie!

I was so hype for this episode because Sanji was my first One Piece love, and I was so excited to see the takes on his character and arc. I was not disappointed.

I liked howGarp's relationship with Luffy was given slowly over the course of the series. The flashback of him destroying Luffy's boat and hauling him off, with no regard to his dreams, really hit home because of how much value had been placed on dreams up until then. Garp as a character really started to shine here, with him hurling a cannonball with his bare hand, then laughing when Luffy bested him (because we all know how intertwined laughter is to the One Piece narrative, especially with regards to Luffy). The simple bit of Koby saving Helmeppo's life, too, and the look of bewilderment he gives him that heralds the change in his character and impending growth, was just so good, too! And of course, the interactions of the Straw Hats were great; they are coming together, but they still have a long way to go, and that just makes what follows in the Baratie arc that much more meaningful. They aren't a crew yet, but they will be.

So appropriate that Luffy's nose and gullet leads him to the Baratie. And, oh, I love what they did with this set! It's the most magnificent, in my opinion. I love the addition of a lighthouse, since the Baratie is supposed to be a refuge for hungry sailors of all kinds. I thoroughly enjoyed everything about the crew and how they interacted in the restaurant, too; it had so many good moments of them bonding. However, I have to take a moment to acknowledge Usopp, who just killed it throughout this episode; like, strutting into the restaurant tits-out? "I can't eat anymore, but it's so good?" The fishbowl? The dancing? The blabbing to a complete stranger only for it to turn out to be a legendary badass here for his captain? Iconic behavior. But, seriously, so many good character moments here. Luffy ordering milk like the innocent cutie he is. Zoro struggling to sit in the booth with his swords but refusing to check them. Nami being totally unimpressed with Sanji's flirting. The boys teasing Nami for Sanji's flirting. 10/10. And Zoro and Nami bonding by trying to learn more about one another! The shift in her character really is fantastic; Emily Rudd did a bang-up job of showing that Nami truly is a good person, but is so damaged by her childhood and is scared to get close to anyone because she inevitably hurts them. I loved that she called Zoro her friend while trying to dissuade him from fighting Mihawk, and the switch that happens in her debating on betraying them in secret comes from him rebuking her by throwing her own words back in her face.

Also, speaking of Sanji, I adore Taz Skylar's Sanji with all my heart. Like, first of all, I love that they toned down his flirtatiousness. It's still there, but it is at such a more tolerable level because it isn't overbearing or uncomfortable. Then there is his smile. My God, every time he smiles, my heart sings. Like, he just captured the essence of Sanji that is part dapper gentleman badass, part snarky, foul-mouthed asshole, and part pathetic wet beast of a man. I have fallen in love with Sanji all over again. I also loved his relationship with Zeff. It was so them; bickering incessantly, antagonism belying the genuine love they have for each other. Finally, I adore the relationship he gains with the crew. Like, it is so obvious how much he comes to care about Luffy after them talking about dreams and later while helping Luffy process what it really means to be a captain. Also, it's so badass that he did all his own stunts. Him fighting so screams Sanji! I just cherish this Sanji, I really do.

I knew going in that they condensed this arc, and honestly, I'm pleased with how they did it. I thought it was so clever to introduce Mihawk differently, with him absolutely decimating Don Krieg's crew single-handedly and calling it "Killing time." Also, he's so hot, it's honestly unfair. Again, the amazing casting shines through, because Steven Ward made such a spectacular Mihawk, totally encapsulating that devil-may-care attitude of his and his interest in powerful people. Phenomenal. And to pair this with more Koby growth, with him being appalled by Garp using pirates to do his business and that the World Government has the Warlord system. I had to laugh at Helmeppo's "You don't know shit about how the world works" because it was just a funny line in general, but funnier coming from him, who also doesn't know shit about how the world works in a different way. It was sad not to see Sanji shine in combat against the Don Krieg crew (though I loved the Gin appearance and that he lives this time!), I think it was a smart narrative choice to have this episode center around Mihawk vs. Zoro, given what follows. Speaking of, that fight was amazing. It was a dead ringer to how it goes down into the manga, down to the pose at the end when Zoro points his sword at the sky and vows never to lose again. I also love that Nami didn't flee in secret like she did in the manga; she stayed, and there was that tender moment of her holding Usopp's hand for comfort. I just think it does so well to illustrate how Nami is changing, but also, the sheer power that Luffy holds in making people who have given up all hope believe again. Nami stays because, deep down, she has hope that she can be a part of this crew, that she can have the courage to tell Luffy the truth and have him help her save her home, that she can be free of Arlong, and that is so powerful in a way that is different and new than the way things originally go.

Episode 6: The Chef and The Chore Boy

I love that there is so much weight in this episode on Zoro's injury. It was glossed over in the manga, honestly, but this adaptation goes into how grievous it is and uses that as the crux of Luffy's growth as a captain and how they come together. It's amazing, narrative-wise, enough for me to be content with the large plot changes they made to the Baratie arc.

The Mihawk and Garp interaction is so gold, honestly. It really captures Mihawk's thing about doing whatever he wants despite being a dog of the World Government, and the keen interest he takes in Luffy. Also, again, Garp laughing while losing his shit at the fact that his grandson is out there tearing up the East Blue as a pirate is so awesome.

Sanji's backstory is the only one told as a full, uninterrupted narrative, and the fact that it's different because of the circumstances and the fact that Sanji is telling it to show Luffy, who is obviously doubting himself, what it means to be a captain is again so clever. Again, Sanji is one of my all-time favorite characters, and his backstory was always the most gut-wrenching to me; seeing it come to life was so heartbreakingly beautiful and sad and inspiring. Props to the kid that played him, like, he did a stellar job. The way he attacked Zeff with unhinged rage over his food; the way he slowly unraveled throughout the time on the rock, starting out as determined to survive and having the optimism that only a child can have and slowly transitioning into the terrified little boy he is, curled up and sniffling as the days drag on; the look of shock, guilt, and disbelief when he realizes that Zeff gave him all the food and ate his own leg (especially with knowledge from the manga, knowing the way Sanji grew up and how he has never known any sort of love, so the idea that someone would sacrifice for him, especially as a stranger, just shatters his entire world view)... It's simply spectacular. And comparing that to the present Sanji, who is so full of energy and life and hope for finding the All Blue, is just so impactful.

But, seriously, I love the whole thing of the characters' growth revolving around Zoro and his recovery. I was touched by Nami reading the story of Noland to him (and also excited by another crumb for potential sequel seasons), and Luffy struggling with what to say because he is struggling with himself and his ability to captain.

Again, I really enjoyed how they handled the transition from Baratie to Arlong Park. First of all, I loved that they kept Buggy a part of the narrative. It encapsulates that spirit of One Piece in which events and characters hundreds of chapters back can still return to have profound effects on the narrative. Also, Buggy is just downright hysterical in this show, and I enjoy his presence. The fishmen are so intimidating, and I like how they used the Baratie to set that and Arlong's motivations up. Getting to see Sanji really fight was great, and when he lost his shit because Zeff got hurt... Yes, just yes. Finally, I love that Nami just "betrayed" them in person. The fact that it went down like it did made Luffy emotional intelligence and his belief that Nami isn't just a traitor that much more impactful to me. Emily Rudd did such a good job of showing Nami as someone who is callous on the surface but clearly has that undertone of hesitation and guilt about what she is doing, though she knows she is doing it to save their lives. Also, Sanji being shirtless while saving Luffy? Like, I will take the fanservice, but it was just so funny to me LOL

But the end of the episode was so hopeful! After everything going wrong, Luffy finally finds the words he needs to say because he knows now what it means to be a captain; he needs his crew as much as they need him. And Zoro waking up at that moment, and Luffy being so excited to see him that he crawls all over him and flings his arm around LOL, it's so Luffy. And I loved that we got official acknowledgement of Zoro as his first mate! It was so good! And finally, Sanji and Zeff's goodbye. It was so emotional, Taz's voice breaking as he thanked Zeff for everything and putting up with all his shit over the years... I cried. TT.TT And of course, ending it with the twist that Buggy will lead them to Arlong is just so exciting LOL

Chapter 7: The Girl With The Sawfish Tattoo

I was so ready for this episode because some of the scenes in the Arlong Park arc are still some of my favorites. I'll admit that this is the arc that had a few changes that I wish weren't there, but overall, I still like how it was handled, and it kept the spirit of the manga.

Again, I like how Nami's backstory is interspersed with key moments of the present narrative. The initial scene of childhood innocence with her and Nojiko and Belle-mere, so light and happy, and coming to a jarring end as she snaps to reality in Arlong Park... Perfect. Also, I thought it was cool that they turned Arlong Park into an amusement park; it's a clever nod to Arlong's twisted notion of making the world a "paradise" for fishmen. Again, I have to commend the casting. Arlong is so savage in this. He practically radiates bloodlust, and it's so good, even though I know what happens, I was worrying for Nami the whole time because he could so easily turn on her on a whim. Then, pairing the conflict of Nami having to go collect money from her village with the conflict with Belle-mere, her hating that she's poor and weaponizing the fact that they aren't a "real" family, as a frustrated child would... So clever. I will admit that this is where the changes that I don't like come in. I really don't like that they made it to where the town had no clue about the fact that she was trying to buy back the village the whole time, and they pretended not to know to try and keep Nami safe. Like, they kept the idea that Nami felt sh deserved to be hated because she felt guilty for not cherishing Belle-mere as she should have and somehow responsible for what happened to the town, but still, what was special about Nami's arc is that she believed that she hurt everyone around her and that she didn't deserve to be loved, but she had been loved the whole time, and this show completely abolished that. In the same vein, I hated the cuts they made to Genzo's character. Belle-mere was her mother figure, and Genzo was her father figure, and that was largely unseen here. They had the nods to the pinwheels (it was cute that they used the tangerine skills), but, again, I felt it was a disservice to Nami's story and character to make changes like this, and I honestly don't know why they felt the need to do it at all, aside from maybe driving home the fact that Nami felt she deserved to be hated and so let the village hate her.

Again, very interesting how they wove in the Marines here. I honestly loved the dinner with Garp and Zeff; them talking about the old days, and Zeff hinting at the times changing and the upcoming generation that becomes a crux to the overall One Piece narrative, is so good. Also, love the Helmeppo and Koby bonding. Their friendship has become so important to me.

But, seriously, props to Iñaki, and the scriptwriters, for just perfectly capturing Luffy's emotional intelligence. Because Nojiko has no idea that Nami is trying to buy back the town, the cast is left believing that Nami genuinely betrayed them, but Luffy just refuses to abandon his gut feeling that there is something more, and he won't stop until he hears it directly from Nami, whom he knows is not being honest with him. Though I don't like the changes to the story, I do like the scene of Nami and Nojiko's reconciliation. It's very heartfelt and heartbreaking, especially when followed by Nezumi arriving to take Nami's money away; everything finally seems to be going right for Nami, and then it all falls apart. I loved the cinematography of her running through the tangerine fields; it truly captured the desperation, all the way up until her falling to her knees at the sight of her village being razed to the ground. Emily Rudd and Iñaki truly nailed the next sequence, which is my favorite in all the manga; Nami's screaming with rage as she stabs her tattoo, Luffy standing there, waiting for the ask for help that he instinctively knows will come, Nami turning around and whispering a broken "Help me," and then, in a perfect parallel to the manga panel, the rest of the crew, despite still not knowing the full context, all immediately being there for her... It will live in my head rent-free until I die.

Chapter 8: The Worst in the East

A good conclusion to the masterpiece that is the adaptation, but again, I am starving for more. Despite my problems with the changes in the previous episode, I thought the condensation in this episode was pretty all right.

The battle of Arlong Park was much shorter, obviously, but I still enjoyed it a lot! I like that they kept Usopp's first solo fight, and all-in-all, it lined up well with the manga. I am, however, so deeply disappointed at the omission of Usopp Hammer and Rubber Band of Doom. Like, I remember the first time I watched this episode of the anime in dub, and I had to pause it for five minutes because hearing Usopp trill "Rubber Band of Dooooooooom!" had me in hysterics, on the floor, laughing until I cried. They kept him pretending to be dead with hot sauce "blood," but not that? How could they do my boy like that? I did laugh at the whole, "I did it! ... Aaaaaaaaaand there was no one there to see it." That aside, the Zoro and Sanji team-up fight was awesome. The ZoSan banter really begins, and it was gratifying to really get to see Sanji shine in a fight since he didn't get to in the Baratie arc as much, as well as Zoro clutching at his wound throughout the fight! Also, I love that the singular "fuck" in the show went to Zoro, and it was directed at Buggy, "that fuckin' clown." Like, so iconic, so perfect, 100/10 moment right there. And, of course, Luffy's fight with Arlong. The teeth-shedding thing was so horrifying and gross, but again drove home the savagery behind Arlong's character. Obviously, they made some alterations to the fight because it would be hard to replicate in live action, but I was more concerned with them keeping the core of the fight: Luffy bringing down Arlong Park because it was all built upon Nami's pain and sacrifice, and that was rendered beautifully. I loved the shot of Arlong Park collapsing. It was so devastating and destructive in a way the anime wasn't, so the horror of the crew looking on as it came crumbling to the ground, wondering if Luffy was okay, and Luffy emerging from the rubble to validate Nami as their friend and a member of their crew gave me goosebumps.

Of course, it won't be a Straw Hat story without a party. I love that they used it as a way to tie the loose ends of the story together. Koby not only reaches the crux of his character arc by finally standing up to Garp and what he believes in, but Helmeppo begins to, too, but joining him, really cementing their friendship. We finally get to the meat of the tension between Garp and Luffy, and I loved the scene where Luffy grins and laughs, and Garp sees Roger in his head. It's a recurring theme in the manga/anime, and to see it here was gratifying. Also, the fact that Luffy got totally bodied by Garp was a good reminder that Luffy still has a long way to go; he will encounter stronger and stronger enemies henceforth, but will face them with a smile and unshakeable confidence and determination.

I loved the ending. I cried tears of joy at Koby bringing Luffy his wanted poster and them hugging and saying their true goodbyes... Luffy telling Koby to be a good marine, and Koby telling Luffy to be a good pirate. It was just so satisfying, so powerful, so solidifying of the friendship that will persist throughout the manga. Then, of course, it was exciting to see all the little scenes with the poster: Makino reading it, Kayagushing over Usopp in the backgriund, Zeff hanging it on the "Employee of the Month" board, Buggy seeing it and voicing that he'll kill Luffy and Alvida chiming in, hinting their team-up... And of course, the scene where Mihawk brings it to Shanks and they all celebrate. So nostalgic, but also so dripping with the overtone that the adventure doesn't end here; that the Straw Hats are only beginning. And that's paralleled by Koby and Helmeppo, too, beginning their training under Garp. And all of it topped off with the crew sailing forth on the Going Merry, with their sail unfurling to reveal the Jolly Roger, them making their vows on the barrel with it flashing back to their childhood selves... I truly felt like I had been a part of something special and was setting out on a new journey with the Straw Hats, and I can't wait to see where they're taken next, even if that never makes it to the screen.

[caitlin-elias]

Ok this might be trigger since it involves overeating but I noticed my creativity only is there when I eat hence I overeat, any advice on this? To not have to eat when I’m not hungry to be creative? Any tips to replace eating but still be creative? And have that creative rush and fun

This is such a good question, thank you for being kind and vulnerable enough to share! One of the biggest things that had helped me recover from binge eating is differentiating between stomach hunger vs. brain hunger. Meaning, am I eating because my stomach is hungry, I've been denying myself food, I've been too busy to eat etc. orrrrr am I just bored? I think this is probably highly connected to the heightened dopamine you feel from eating, which is doubled by the excitement with the creativity, which might be creating a bit of a behavioural loop.

My tips for this are as follows:

1) eat prior to your creative task, with zero distractions. Really savor what you're eating, and spend the time mentally preparing yourself for whatever you want to work on

2)caffeine. I find that a simple coffee with half and half has enough fat in it to satiate me, it allows me to stay motivated and still get the flavor factor while working that you might be craving.

3) stay hydrated!!! Hunger cues can get all wonky if you arent hydrated, causing your digestion to slow down and your body to crave other things.

4) snack pack/veggie plate kinda things. I love to do a weird tray of cut veggies with cottage cheese, some chicken breast, string cheese, and some crackers. The variety of flavors and textures is appealing, and it's nutritionally dense without being crazy high in calories.

I'm sorry this took so long to answer, I hope this post finds you with love. Feel free to pm me if you need any other suggestions/wanna talk further!

[p1xiemeat]

hi do you mind if I ask you what symptoms of bipolar you have experienced before/are currently experiencing right now? if this is too heavy for you to answer then that’s alright it’s just that I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and I wanted to hear about the experience from another person.. thank you 

well i have bipolar 1 rapid cycling which is more severe than just having bipolar 1. and bipolar 1 by itself is more severe than bipolar 2, so definitely don't compare yourself to me too much. also everyone is different. not every person with bipolar of any type has the same symptoms. i also have anxiety, ptsd, and im seeing a psychiatrist in november to be tested for a neurological disorder that my therapist thinks i may have but she can't diagnose me. so sometimes those symptoms from other things overlap into what i experience. some things might be caused by my anxiety or ptsd. for example i've had hallucinations plenty of times which can be a symptom of bipolar but also could be from ptsd too. i have manic episodes all the time. and when im not having mania im basically in a constant state of depression. its awful. i do have impulses but ive spent years learning how to control them. they used to be uncontrollable and it ruined my life for many years. my sleep and appetite changes constantly. sometimes i dont need sleep at all and other times all i do is sleep. and most of them time i can't eat a lot. and when i am able to eat i end up binge eating to make up for barely eating most of the time. im extremely indecisive and its hard to focus on one task. i usually have like 10 different tasks going at a time which makes it hard to complete anything. but i also become obsessed with my interests. it actually annoys ppl because i will talk about the same few things over and over. i have suicidal thought all the time. only thoughts tho. i would never act on them. but before i could control my impulses i had multiple attempts to end my life. i also have constant racing thoughts or my mind feels blank and i'll be completely silent for days sometimes because i have nothing to say. except when it comes to my children. obviously i speak to them when they are around, but i won't start a conversation when my mind feels blank or i won't CHOOSE to say anything for days. yeah it really fucking sucks. life with bipolar is mainly living in extremes. [for me anyway]. im either exteremely happy or extremely sad. same goes with being confident or not confident, hungry or not hungry, etc. one of the hardest things is having so much energy when im manic and feeling constantly tired and drained when im depressive. because i have children and i HAVE to be productive on daily basis. i can't just NOT clean or do dishes or laundry etc. so when im depressive i have to mentally and physically force myself to do anything. its honestly absolute hell. and im so sorry you have it too. i wish i had more positive things to tell you about it, but im not going to sugarcoat it or lie to you.

as long as you put in effort to work on yourself and try to be aware of the way you react to things or what things affect your mood, it will get easier. i know that i NEED therapy. every time i left therapy i relapsed on drugs or i mentally deteriorated. so i highly recommend finding a good therapist if you start to struggle badly. or just have one just to help you even if you don't think you need one. they help sooo much with helping u understand yourself and your thoughts and actions. i wish you nothing but the best✨💜 bipolar disorder can be so crippling. it can even be a disability for some ppl. for me it is. i am getting disability soon because its pretty impossible to find a job that works with what im able and unable to do. it lowered my confidence a lot when i realized i needed the extra help but now im more okay with it because i know its just the hand i've been dealt. i didnt ask for bipolar disorder. just like i didn't ask for it to prevent me from working. its just what happened to me. and thats okay. 🖤💜 i hope you are well🥰

[d4iryqueen]

update: my mom did in fact intervene in a way. she pointed out how skinny i got over 2 weeks (they were v stressful for my whole family, especially me n my mom and she knows abt my ed so she figured it out quickly). what happened is that i have noticed my bones sticking out more and abs showing (for the 1st time in my life!), but my weight stayed the same thoughout, so i thought im just unsure of what i actually look like and/or am imagining it because i wish i looked like that. but because she keeps on talking about how i look really thin and …unattractive (she fr still thinks eds develop bc people want to be skinny bc skinny=pretty????)…. i actually accepted that i really am that thin. that my ribs are actually showing. that my hip bones do in fact protrude from my pants. and i love it. however, as much as i adore this, it made me feel “safe” in my eating? idk… i had shitty ass sleep bc i felt quite sick after yesterdays dinner, i slept only for 4 hrs max which is v little for me. so i was extremely tired today, took a caffeine pill and drank an energy drink on an empty stomach in the morning and went to school. i kinda overdosed on the caffeine, yeah :/. but i ended up having a v successful day, i did more than i thought i’d be able to with how tired i was/am. soooo… i allowed myself to eat basically anything i want until im not hungry anymore. i didnt have a plan today bc i simply focused on not being extra tweaked out or passing out in school and was nauseous so i literally didnt think about food at all in that way.

to make this long story short : i ate 2085 calories worth of food that i didnt plan and im glad that i didnt binge, but also im shocked by how easily my behavior got influenced by someone i truly love and care about.

its not a bad thing and in the end, i cant be *always* in a deficit realistically, plus if im in a plateau maybe it’ll help? even if i would gain (which i truly dont think i will) then id still be skinny af. and … it feels quite good tbh. im proud of myself for getting here and actually recognising it (nothing hurts more than seeing pics of you at lw and remembering you used to believe you were too large), but im also not proud of myself for letting go today. extremely proud of myself for not even thinking about binging tho. like i just ate like a normal person for 1 meal (dinner, as lunch was high cal safe food combos, which still contained much more things and cals than what id allow myself on a normal day). im having mixed feelings. but im also content. tomorrow? who knows what approach ill take towards my diet. and idk how ill feel about today when tomorrow comes, either. but for now, i just want to sleep. im gonna maybe reblog a bit, but ultimately im gonna take a sleeping pill to finally slee through the whole night and r e s t my body cos i need it.

[iwannabeastarstarrockmann]

I had to stop my fast at 18 hours :(

there's something wrong with my hypothalamus, and it's very likely that my restrictive eating habits caused the dysfunction of it, let me tell you, the symptoms are no fun. its been going on for a couple of weeks now, and i knew that it was because of my ed but i just wanted to lose a bit more weight before allowing myself to get better.

I felt really strange right before I broke my fast and suddenly my body was craving nuts, cheese, dark chocolate, yogurt, protein, I was a mess, and visibly hungry lol

long story short I gave into the cravings and now I'm feeling better physically, however, emotionally, I am an absolute wreck. how am I supposed to starve myself when my stupid body overreacts every time??!

anyway, I found out that when your hypothalamus is not functioning well, the foods I was intuitively craving on my own are all really good for that part of your brain so at least my body knows what it's doing, I just wish I had more control over it lol. I have to admit though, my body is so relaxed now that I've given it what it wanted. I logged my binge, and it came to be a few calories under 1200, which is what I was eating after I relapsed and since then have been testing the waters and going lower and lower. my body didn't like that at all. I feel so mentally weak, this suck. I'm going to have to exercise every day again now that I'm eating a bit more :(

whatever, I'll find a way around this, I still need to lose at least 20 pounds before oct 25th.

I'm going clothes shopping tomorrow as well as applying for jobs and going to interviews, so hopefully my binge didn't make me super bloated, I can't tell yet.

[1thinkimdying]

Day One trying to lose my weight again!!!

when i woke up this morning for school i was reallyyy tempted to eat breakfast but i was able to keep myself busy enough the whole morning with getting ready and kept looking at myself in the mirror as a motivation to keep my morning skinny for school. In school, i didn’t eat anything which isn’t really difficult for me since i always do that but the cafeteria smelled sooo good😞 since some people are on a school trip rn our teacher let us go 2 hours early since barely anyone was there so i was home alot earlier and really scared i would binge but i managed to just eat some cereal (more then i would have liked though) and later some cookies (also more then i wanted ;-;) but atleast i was full enough to skip dinner so i guess its fine. Tmr im in school from 8 am until 4pm so i can fast that time and then imma see if my mom makes dinner (which i cant skip but just take a small portion) or if i just make myself a bread or if im REALLY Hungry some soup!!

cw: 119 Ibs

gw: 99

[megumiifushiiguro]

heloooooooo, i;m sorry you're not having the best day!

if you haven't drunk any water in a while, please have a small glass, and maybe put one of those vitamin c dissolvable tablets in if you're feeling under the weather, it might help.

if you've been sitting for a while, stretch your legs and maybe sit up straight to give your back a break, or get a pillow or something.

if you're cold, get a jumper or a blanket or something cozy, and have a snack if you're hungry!!!!!

i'm so sorry if things aren't going incredibly well for you this week or today or whatever time period it is, but i promise you it will get better and you will feel good again and you know tomorrow is another day, and it may surprise you by being an absolutely amazing day that you weren't expecting!

i hope you walk somewhere today and see a cat and are able to stroke it a bit and have a nice couple minutes with the cat, and then you get a muffin or brownie or some crisps or cake or soemthing along those lines and and eat it whilst watching gilmore ggirls or another comfort show, and the day's overall quality just goes up!

ummm, what else. i can tell you about my day. i have eaten my body weight in special k istg. the chokehold that cereal has on me is ridiculous. i realized that once upon a time is no longer on netflix and is now on disney+, with i dont have, which was pretty annoying as i am currently craving hook/emma interactions and cuteness. yk how sometimes you are really just in the mood for one specific type of cute couple will they wont they enemies to lovers interaction, from two specific people, and then when you realise it's not available to you it'sjust so annoying. yeah, that kinda sucked, but i just watched rory and logan episodes of gilmore girls and felt better :)!

also, i just bought shadow and bone, the first book from that whole series. i was wondering if you've read it? i've heard from some people on here that it is really good, sothat is something to look forward too :)!

ummmm, what else is there to ramble about. idk if you've noticed but i'm trying to distract you from any bad or not nice things that might be happening, and i am going to continue to do this until i run out of words in my brain. gotta cheer up my favouritr tumblr big sister!!!

i have been obsessively listening to maisie peters today! do you watch caitlin marie reacts an youtube? i love her and i just binged all her maisie reactions this morning and spent the rest of the day obsessively listing to her eps and watching live performances. if you haven't already, you should listen to her music! it's really good! i watched her performance with james bay of funeral so many times today, it's just so good! so yeah, that's what the music has been like today.

oh, also i was sitting on my bed, just listening to music, and i was sitting cross legged, and my cat came and sat on me, kinda facing outwards and stretching his whole body out onto my leg, which was really cute and adorable, but he is also a large boy and didn't get off for an hour so by the time he did, the leg cramp was ridiculous istg. it took me five minutes to be able to use it again. so yeah, that happened. he's very sweet though so i'll forgive him.

have you got any plans for the next week? if so, what type of things are they. it is currently a week off from school for me so i am going to laze around, study a bit, listen to music, and maybe see friends at some point. very lazy week :)

soooooo, yeah. i can't really think of anything else to day but i hope this maybe made you feel better and if you were already feeling better before reading this then i hope this kept your mood at that good level.

idk, the amount of rambling in this is riduclous, i should stop, so yeah, byeeeeeeeee

(also no pressure to answer this, i just hope it makes you smile)

hellooo izzy🥺💗

i'm feel a lot better now :) i ate smth and took a bath so :) and i'm pretty cozy in my blanket rn :)

right??? cereal is so good??? wtf??? oooh i haven't watched ouat so as i have disney+ i might watch it now :D and yes yes yess i totally get that feeling bestie!! sjsjsj u can always count on rory and logan to make u feel better lol<3

noooo i haven't read it :( tho it's on my tbr FOREVER aahh!! also i heard that shadow and the bone trilogy is not that good but six of crows duology is better?? idk anyway rn i am ready city of bones by cassandra clare it's good i think tho i am not getting much time to read :(

awww i noticed🥺🥹💕 ilysm for this<33 and i'm so happy that u see me as a big sister ilyilyilyyyy

i don't listen to maisie but maybe now i will :) also yesss i watch caitlin marie reacts on yt!!

omg hgfdsdfgh ur cat sounds adorable<33 u should share a pic of him🥺 and i'm sorry for the cramp izzy ily

aaah that's nice!! i don't have much plans but to study as my exams are from march 1 so yeah :')

AND YES YES YESSSS THIS MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER ILYSM MWAH (and yes ik i think i already said ily in this like 10 times but hushhh)

and nooo it's not ridiculous at alll!! ramble whenever and whatever u want to me :)

take care of urself<3333

[thinoblivion]

29/11, 2022 - A presentation mixed with thoughts

Good evening!

I wanted to start this tumblr by introducing myself.

You can call me Delilah, I'm 27 years old and I live in northern Europe.

I've been eating disordered my whole life more or less, but when I was a kid it was mainly binging (I basically ate my anxiety and depressed feelings).

When I was 16 (turning 17) in 2012 I wanted to become more healthy and lose weight. I quickly realized that I could lose weight faster by lower my calorie intake.

Thus began my restricting ED.

A few months later I was forced (by my parents) to recover (on my own), which caused me to gain a lot.

Few years later I fell into bulimia, I "recovered" (fell into overeating again) and since then (4 years) I have gained 16 kilos.

Now, I've fallen back into these habits, but it actually feels more difficult now.

The first time, I could easily fast for days, I could exercise like crazy, count every little calorie I put into my body.

But now... I'm hungry ALL THE TIME, I can't find time, energy or motivation to exercise and counting calories feels hard and stressfull.

Wtf is wrong with me?

Where is my self discipline?

Am I the only one feeling like this? Am I the only one being to lazy for a f-ing ED?

Also; I'm part of the generation that started their ed-on-the-internet-era on Instagram and here on Tumblr.

Back then there were little to no rules or restrictions.

I'm baffled by how small of a space we actually have the right to use, like we're some kind of vermin.

I get that the rules are there to protect kids, but I'm sure that they will find out anyway, if they really want to.

Summary; I'm not new to this platform, nor this ed-infestated world. I'm just here again after a break. 💕

[meditating-dog-lover]

Health update (tw)

Tw talking about some sensitive stuff.

Last month I was very down and was texting the su1cide hotline, because that was the first time in my life where I started having these thoughts.

But things have gotten so much better since then.

My diet has improved. Like I said I've switched to an anti-inflammatory diet and I quit fasting. I feel great and feel more energized and less inflamed. I'm eating less sugar. I do eat dark chocolate and berries and bananas. And I like to have caramel chocolate (a few pieces) when I go to the mall with matcha green tea and a mocha sometimes and 1/4 or half a donut and crumbl cookie when they bring them to work. I've switched to more of a small few pieces of chocolate and/or mocha from eating larger baked goods like cookies and brownies.

The anti-inflammatory diet helps a lot in terms of avoiding hidden sources of sugar like sauces, condiments, chips (there's a kind I get from Whole Foods that has avocado oil and spices/herbs but I've been avoiding the others), processed cheese, and processed breads. So my cravings for sugar went down. I don't even feel deprived. I once got a coffee and caramel chocolate square, but felt it was way too sweet. I got brownies for my mom and I last month for our Friday dinner treat. Again they felt too sweet and felt the need to eat healthy. There have been a few days where I went home from work thinking about getting a sweet treat, only for me to go to the store and see them and change my mind.

As I said earlier I wanted a crunchy snack to have here and there, mostly on days where I go to therapy. So those chips from Whole Foods do the trick, though they're something I get every now and then and not daily. I've found some anti-inflammatory condiments/dips like mayo with avocado oil, fresh cheese spreads, all without added sugar. I also cook with olive and avocado oil, and sometimes butter. I do eat bread, but I stick to sprouted grains (Ezekiel bread is really good, both the slices and rolls). Eating out can be tricky, but I tend to stick to places that don't have a lot of processed and inflammatory foods. Not just seed oils, but refined breads and processed food in general. At the end of the day I feel better and I'm so happy and hopeful.

I am benefiting a lot from therapy. My therapist has been sensitive about emotional topics in my personal life, which makes a big impact and I feel better. I'm also on some anti-anxiety and SSRI meds. I know those will also make me feel better. I've been on them for a little less than a week, no weird side effects. But it's also too early to see a huge difference in my mood. I should probably be documenting that anyways. I had a good week anyways, so my mood was good. I did experience some moments of stress and panic and anxiety. Nothing severe though. I know it will get better with the meds.

I quit fasting which helps a lot. I typically have a banana and cheese in the morning, I used to do bananas, walnuts, and dark chocolate but it felt too sweet. A banana and cheese do the trick. Despite this, I have not put on weight and I don't expect to (you never gain weight when you eat after you've been starved for so long). I eat when I'm hungry and when I do that, I never gain weight. Even on days where I feel like I want more carbs and 500 extra calories. So from experience, I do benefit from skipping a full breakfast. However I do need a small snack (carb and fat), so I don't starve and experience more fatigue and inflammation. I'm taking a break from fasting for now. Despite this, I experienced no binging nor hunger

I've been helping my mom out financially because my dad doesn't want to help. I love helping her. I'll probably be promoted next year at work, and then I can help even more.

I recently received an apology from someone who hurt me in the past and it really made me feel better. I hate being on bad terms with people and don't like to be enemies. So this does make a positive impact and things ended on a positive note here. I'm so happy, but also sad because I don't like to be on bad terms with anyone (unless they're a massive asshole and this person thankfully isn't) and I wish this never happened.

I've been more confident with my body image, thanks to my recent fat loss despite the hell I went through. I've also been taking digestive enzymes, which help with bloating and keeping a flat stomach. The main problem area I have are my calves, which are on the muscular side. They do look big when I have excess body fat, but they're still big looking after fat loss, which means they are muscular. I'll find a way to slim them down if possible. I heard calf botox works, but it's expensive and I don't know how I feel about it or if it will even work (would be a waste of money). I never had botox/fillers or any type of injectable, so I don't know how I feel about doing that.

I've been experiencing some rashes eczema flares recently. Since my luteal phase started, my left hand (fingers and palms mostly), neck, face and ear (left side again for some odd reason) became red, itchy, dry, oozy, and crusty. There's been no changes to my diet or environment or lifestyle or skin care (I've even been using gentle and natural skin care products). The only thing that changed was my cycle. I know this is when progesterone peaks, and I want to see if this is something responsible for my inflammation. I know hormones definitely are a root cause of my eczema because I got my first flare at puberty and it chronically started when I turned 20. The summer was awful this year and it was hot, humid and sweaty. I know this also irritated my skin. Thankfully it's getting cooler next week and fall is almost here. Also I cleaned my car which is also another thing that might have irritated my skin. I do not itch when I approach my dogs anymore. I itch a few days before ovulation and during my luteal phase. My face, neck, and hands itch and ooze. My left hand was oozy and I couldn't close my hand into a fist, so I applied antibiotic and steroid and it's getting better. Thankfully I haven't felt the need to use steroids in 2 weeks, though there a few stubborn inflamed spots on my left hand I want to get rid of. So I'll use the steroid until it's gone. My derm PA sad that my areas are infected and they did clear with antibiotics and antifungals, but those areas became inflamed again a few days ago (luteal phase). I'm going to see my doctor in a few days to ask about hormone balancing and skin inflammation.

I found a wellness store that recently opened that offers weekly yoga and pilates classes, which sounds fun.

Eventually I'm going to do my autism test.

I want to go to the dentist with my mom. I have severe body dysmorphia from my teeth and dentists triggered and made it worse. I need to tell my mom and therapist this. I've learned to treat dentists like the boy who cried wolf. They cry wolf (I need dental stuff done) but nothing bad ever happens to my teeth and I don't need treatment. I need to stop being vulnerable, but I need to speak to my mom about this asap.

[recoverywithgh0ul]

Welcome back to the second installment offfffff what i eat in a day >o< (hopefully with some pictures)

Again basic TW for mentions of food and thoughts related to food~ also please apply the disclaimer from my last post to this one,, my body is not your body, and please provide it with what you need~/lh

(So generally speaking the last couple of days the night before I’ve kinda sat down a predetermined what i was going to have the next day, big three wise. I’ve noticed this helps me a tooonnnnn, especially since sometimes when i don’t know what to make i can grab something quick and easy, or possibly order in :/ also, I’m prewriting this part at like 4:11 am bc i can’t sleep lmao. )

Breakfast~

Okay, so for breakfast i had/am having right now lol, one egg on toast with cottage cheese, topped with chili crisp. As a side i have some tomato, and some air fried potatoes. Oh, and the dip is ranch.

(I like to put it in this portion plate both because it’s honestly adorable, and because it helps me feel fuller since, as I’ve mentioned in another post, I’m a volume eater. So plating it like this, for me can control my portions and honestly just make things a whole bunch easier because i usually have a problem over serving myself. This will not work for everyone, my portions will not be equal to everyone’s, but i can assure you, i am eating until I’m full and satisfied. Which on that note can be kinda scary. This morning was kinda rough, I wasn’t able to fall back asleep so i kinda struggled with that hunger feeling until around 6 and then just got sick of it, so i made a coffee with protein powder to hold me over to a “acceptable time for breakfast” knee jerk reaction on this thought? Stupid. Like, there’s no acceptable time to eat, you eat when your body needs food. Compassionate thought? You had a bad morning, everyone does. Good thing about it, is even though it might’ve been delayed and you went through some hurdles, you still ate, and that’s a victory in itself. Recovery is a beast, but I’m determined to show it, I’m stronger.)

Snack~

Okay, so snack, some dried pineapple, and saltines with PB and pumpkin pie seasoning. Pretty good honestly 8/10( i ended up only eating eating two of the crackers, but all of the fruit)

(I hated that i was hungry, plain and simple, but i owe it to my body to eat- and it’s not a bad thing to have a snack. Am i internally freaking bc i have no idea how many this or that and- it goes on, yes, yes i am. But, it’s what i wanted, it’s not over board, and in the long run taking care and honoring my hunger now, will prevent a binge in the future. <3 )

Snack~

Piece of habanero cheese, and two of those PB crackers from earlier made into a sandwich(like put together), no pics bc I’m lazy. I’ll do my best to get a pic for lunch tho~

(Today is proving to be a wacky day to say the least, i do want to preface this and say, all my days are NOT like this. But at this point it might seem like I’ll be eating lunch a little later in the day, so im going to have another small snack to tide me over, because that’s what my body deserves, and I’m honoring my hunger >.< for context i have to get groceries delivered because i don’t drive, and they were taking longer than expected- so yeah :/ )

Lunch~

For lunch i had a honey turkey wrap, with a side of sweet bell peppers, chips, and a dollop of ranch for dipping. Super simple, super easy, and super filling. Also helped me battle a craving for fast food, so extra feeling of accomplishment :>

(So groceries finally got here, chaos adverted, lunch has been made and eaten 10/10 the only thing with this meal is just the pure anxiety that feeling full has left. Did i over indulge? No, i ate until i was full, which is perfectly okay and normal. Today really is a day of pushing. My limits and just for lack of better words, being okay with it.)

Dinner~

Chili crisp oil garlic soup with rice, drizzled with garlic spicy sauce

(For dinner i was having really strong cravings to binge honestly, i think the stress just generally from the day is starting to get to me. To combat this, im going to partake in a coping skill to distract myself, most likely writing :> )

Snack~

PB toast with some type of topping(not sure if i want sweet or savory yet >.<)

(For snack I’m going to leave it as a option for myself, so i know I’ll be full through the night, to avoid whatever this morning was :/)

Drinks~

Protein powder with iced coffee

Aloe coconut drink with a bit of a strawberry peach crystal light flavoring packet

Aloe pineapple drink

Water throughout the day

So that was another complete what i eat in a day, today was definitely different, and 100% more stressful, but overall, I’m trying to create healthy eating habits, and eating healthy is eating in moderation, and i can still do that, and feel happy with my food choices both in a satisfied way, and my body getting what it needs way~

I hope if you’re reading this, you have a great day/night, stay strong, and love yourself~ and remember recovery is never hard, but it’s always worth it,,/g /lh