#notice how all the scapegoats here are women too

[avatarfandompolice]

What's with this fandom and flat out ignoring the actual villains in the room?

Ozai's parenting screwed up Zuko and Azula, but somehow Ursa is worse compared to him. Kuvira made the conscious decision to become a dictator with many crimes under her belt such as her "summer camp" to weed out non Earth Kingdom pure blood citizens but somehow the blame is on Suyin. Unalaq merges himself with a dark spirit and uses it to severe the connections between Korra and her past lives, but guess who get fingers pointed at their face? Spoilers: it's not the guy who's main goal was to plunge the world in eternal darkness.

It's so frustrating because Ursa, Suyin and Korra are characters that deserve so much better than fans targeting them with their misguided slander when the actual perpetrators are right in front of them.

It stems from a few things:

1 - With Kuvira, she is an extremely likable and relatable villain. People want to absolve her of guilt whether consciously or subconsciously just because they like her. It’s a similar situation to Azula where she’s such a strong presence that people can’t attach bad actions to her. It’s one of the reasons a lot of people think Kuvira’s prison camps and giant robot are “OOC” because “in character” for them would just be her acting like a boss babe but not really doing anything bad. Su becomes an easy scapegoat because there is one, tiny, minuscule moment in B3 where Lin thinks Su might be working with the Red Lotus, and people just ran with that apparently.

2 - With Ozai, it again goes back to Azula. Azula’s issues in the show always result in her mother being brought up, and if someone lacks the inference skills to realize what’s going on, they’ll just think that Ursa caused Azula’s issues. From canon, Ursa struggled to connect with her daughter despite wanting to, and Azula in her teen years subconsciously knows that missed connection with her mother is why she is so messed up. But again, if you have the mental capacity of a peanut then this may not be clear. Since Ursa is relatively unknown in terms of backstory within the series, she’s an easy scapegoat because people can paint any picture they want with her. Not to get too much into another topic, but the exact action of people just formulating whatever backstory they wanted with her is why people hate her portrayal in the comics.

3 - With Korra, it’s just people still bitter that Korra even exists. They over-emphasize every mistake she makes to glorify how “perfect” Aang was (despite that not being even remotely true). You can look at any bad event that an antagonist caused in LOK and find at least one person putting 100% of the blame on Korra simply because they have some undying devotion to defending the original series. I find that unbelievably sad considering nothing about LOK is trying to minimize or compete with ATLA at all.

4 - And most importantly, it is people simply trying to analyze things in a way that makes them feel smart. The obvious answer to a bad thing happening in a story is that an antagonist did it, but they want to seem smart and subversive. Their whole value is placed on feeling smarter than a Nickelodeon cartoon, and they will make the most outlandish statements devoid of any context just to make the show seem “bad.” Unfortunately, in a world where there is an epidemic of videos and metas over-analyzing the most basic of story elements in stories, this is a byproduct: people who fabricate problems in stories to analyze just for clout.

[astrophileblogs07]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT.20

⚫ Opposite to the stereotype of Leo being a narcissist, its the Aquarians who are more narcissist than ANY other zodiac. Esp its the Dhanishta naks out of the Aqua naks who are so.

⚫ I have seen 3 Aquarian moons (of Dhanishta nak) who had a poverty stricken first half of life (childhood, teenage years) but then they become well off like rlly very well off in their second half (esp after marriage). They marry rich 🤑 too. What i am saying here is the dramatic transformation of their financial life.

⚫ Pisces men are physically abusive. That's it. Esp the March Pisces. They literally are a bully. (Dont be fooled by the beautiful doe eyes lol)

⚫ "WOW What voluminous and luscious hair he's got!" -my ♌ rising and moon mom commenting on a side character with insignificant role in a movie 🤣. I wasn't noticing that at all...but she seemed to be stuck on that feature 😂.

⚫ Martian influence on a chart can actually have a liking to dangerous weapons and ammunitions. (Like idk I weirdly love them 😂😂)

⚫ Females with Ketu ruled naks are the first group of people whom male perceive as "threat". (Second is mars btw). Like if the other person is a typical male (egoistic, chauvinist) they will literally hate you to the core coz they know you equal them in all ways (except you know what LMAO 🤣). So they'll try to pin you down or belittle you etc. (sad, but since I have experienced I wanted it to share w you guys)

⚫ Also I love the way Ketu Nak women get along becoz mostly they have so much in common. And by that I mean how the society (male dom) treats them. I am not saying they're an "outcast" but the reaction they face just coz the male species get intimidated by us which has an cascading effect on our mental peace is beyond tolerance.

⚫Ketu naks are sexyyyyyy 🖤👁️🫦👁️❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

(I always imagine a smokin hot biker girl 👩🏻‍🎤with leather jacket and smoky eyeshadow whenever I hear "Ashwini, Magha and Mula")

⚫ I have seen a Chart which was totally "Mars" chart and I'll tell you, that person has Aries asc, Moon, Mars and (Mercury ig is in Scorpio?idr) along with Scorpio sun. And that person is like personified version of the planet itself. So cunning and so shrewd, potentially be a mastermind. Statergic. Secretive af. (Might be their middle name to exaggerate). Close to their mom. Loves friends (friends over anything). Also they have a "reddish" tint to their skin (no health probs, but yeah that planet does that). Knows how to tackle any embarrassing moment in public and deal with it. (I am jealous of him coz i wanted to be like him in every way 😂)

⚫Lilith and Pluto aspects in natal chart can actually survive 8H synastry. Almost same energy and themes. 💀

⚫Why are Maghas the "scapegoat" of the family? Like they be framed in a situation with which they have no relation with. Its annoying to see. Its like you're locked in your room chilling and as soon as you step out, everyone in the family is blaming you for something or the other. Now you're the "bad guy". (Yo wtf 🤡). Added to the generosity of Leos, people target you often. 😕

⚫Libra men CANNOT stand loneliness and being ostracized at all in any way. I have seen this in every Libra I came across. For eg: if you're the "black sheep" they won't talk to you and will go with what the crowd says. And if people have outcasted them just becoz they're with you/involved with you, they'll drop you like hot potato. People say and stereotype Capricorns for being the one who cares about reputation and all, but her 'Venus-ruled-Saturn-exalted' sister also is same. 💀

(no wonder they're besties lol)

P.S: I read a post here which said "Eye contact with 8H synastry hits different" ( i am not copying, i don't remember the username) and boy is that true 💀💀💀. Like I was -->😯😳🫣. Coz I have experienced that 🤣🤣. It does, than any other eye contact I have seen. Lmao 🤣🤣.{Edit: its @zeldasnotes 🖤😁}

Hope you liked it 😁😊. Until next time! 👋🏻

Love you y'all ❤️❤️❤️

[artbyblastweave]

hello. I am in the middle of doing My Take on vampires and would appreciate your thoughts on Them in fiction. they don't seem to pop up more than occasionally in superhero media, but also you are pretty widely read & they have noticeable Eras/Tendencies that I can see.

I'm definitely not as much of a vampire guy as I'm a Superhero guy, so all my opinions on vampires should be taken with a grain of salt, and with the knowledge that a lot of this is stuff I've picked up through Osmosis and the occasional lit-review for that one class in college. But here goes-

One of my potentially more controversial takes about Vampires is that I think Vampires (and adjacent creatures like werewolves) are great at capturing the emotional truth of being part of a marginalized group, or sometimes just for being subaltern- the world against you, people make you feel like you're wrong for existing, that you're dangerous, etc.- and this is why they go gangbusters both on this website and in general. But the narrative often faceplants for me if it tries to portray vampires as a literal marginalized group because all of that stuff is often objectively true within the fiction in a way that it isn't true of real-life marginalized groups. It's a souped-up version of the X-men problem, because most of the X-Men aren't obligate cannibals! The result of this is that there have been several times I'm consuming something vampire-related that wants me to primarily sympathize with the vampires, and meanwhile I'm going "geez, that's a rough deal, but I think you all need to be killed on purely utilitarian grounds, sorry."

(I do also get the sense as well, right, that this is inextricably tangled up in the fact that a lot of foundational vampire literature was kind of just taking a lot of the horrible lies people tell about the scapegoat group du jour to justify their oppression and then making a guy of whom these things were objectively true. I get the impression, at a distance, that Dracula demonstrates like fourteen different flavors of "Those Depraved Easterners Are Coming For Our Women," although to truly lock in that Take I'm gonna have to read the thing instead of just absorbing it through Tumblr Osmosis whenever Dracula Daily is running.) There are ways to thread this needle, the big one of which is to just sand down the negative externalities of vampirism. Have them feed on animals or voluntary donors or make the human predation thing an in-universe slanderous fiction to begin with. Have them feed on exclusively on quote-unquote "criminals," if you have the right unexamined assumptions about the validity of the death penalty. Go the Elder Scrolls route, where drinking blood isn't necessary to survive but is necessary to maintain a human appearance, thus ensuring that the most morally conscientious vampires are the ones most likely to be identified as vampires and scapegoated by the angry mob. The issue I sometimes take with this is that the act of implementing a "fix" of any kind can sort of broadcast that you're trying to have your cake and eat it too- that you're cutting away the ideatic core of what makes vampires interesting when divorced from metaphor, taken objectively- that they're living trolley problems. As others have said, if you sand them down too much, what are you getting out of a vampire story that you couldn't get from a Tolkien Elf, or from Batman?

A fictional group which I've never really had this issue with, though, is Zombies, in the Romero tradition. When a work wants to construct Zombies as a primarily sympathetic group, it's much easier for me to get on board with that without feeling like the core Vibe has been compromised. This is because there's actually a fairly recent source text for zombies in the form of Romero's Living Dead films, and a major component of the Living Dead films is how much it sucks without recourse to become a zombie.

I was working on a post once, which I never finished, about how there are like, three-to-four vectors of horror that zombies can embody, which different works play up to different extents. While obviously one of the big straightforward ones is the fear that your entire community starts trying to kill you and eat you one day for basically no reason, a major anxiety on display in the original Living Dead trilogy- Dawn in particular- is that in the face of a weird but manageable problem human society would act as its own condemnation, totally failing to rise to the challenge-the horror is that we would let something as inept as a zombie be dangerous to us! Also present in those films? The horror of the idea that your daily routine is so rote and conformist that you wouldn't need to be sentient to continue to carry it out- that the biggest difference between you and them is that you can occasionally be evil in more interesting and evolved ways. And there's this fear of physically and mental degradation with zombies, which for a host of reasons I find extremely fucking relatable. The sense that your body is falling apart piecemeal, bits of you sloughing off when you turn the wrong way or turn your head too quickly. There's this fog over your thinking. The bone-deep knowledge that you used to be more, and are now fundamentally less capable- that there's just enough of you left to understand something is missing. (Read into my personal circumstances whatever you want from this.) Being a zombie is foundationally, fundamentally gross in a way that being a vampire isn't; when people try to do "sexy zombies" half the joke is the pairing of those two words. There's this horror comic Kieth Giffen did once called Tag which is basically entirely about the horror of being a corpse that could feel it; I think about that comic a lot. Anyway, because so much of the horror of zombism is external to whether they're actually attacking and killing people or not, you can totally sell me on zombies as an unfairly-maligned demographic in a way that's much harder for me to buy with Vampires- dropping the danger they pose to other people allows you to maintain so much more of the core of the thing than it does with Vampires, where it feels much more like you're tip-toeing around the tensions between Wanting To Have Fun and the moral horror inherent to what you're trying to have fun with.

[youremyheaven]

https://www.tumblr.com/youremyheaven/754446269650452480/they-dooo-notice-everything-i-love-it-sometimes

Jupiter women can lowkey be like this too. Idk about the Freud stuff, but jupiter is the husband. When their dad fails to display positive jupiter traits and becomes arrogant, withdrawn and selfish, they become their own dad. So they embody or atleast attempt to embody positive jupiter traits of generosity and virtue. Now that I’ve typed that out, it doesn’t sound as relevant as it did in my head 😭

However I do think that what OP was describing is more of a Bharani thing than anything else. I’m sure other venus naks do it too but still.

Bharani has major connotations to childbirth and so many women make sacrifices when they have children, some are forced to leave education, some develop long term health problems, and some struggle to leave difficult relationships since children complicate that kind of thing. Before medicine advanced it was somewhat common to just die entirely bc of childbirth.

So therefore I think a lot of Bharani natives (esp moon bc we’re talking about mothers) are overly aware of the sacrifice their mothers made and it weighs on them. It becomes their “burden” as the translation of Bharani, “she who bares” takes on a literal and metaphorical interpretation. So basically Bharanis like to acknowledge the people who came before them and their sacrifices but they can have a bit of a chip on their shoulder bc of it. Inheriting their karma in a sense.

So when they experience that humiliation from their abusive parent they “eat the pain” as part of the burden they bare. Fighting back will always lead to more suffering for them despite their anger and resentment (aries). In mythology Yama was about to kick his mom but even though he holds himself back, she still cursed his foot.

Yama’s father ☀️ ☀️ also got mad at his mother for struggling to look directly at him and cursed Yama as a result, which is such a good example of the dynamics their parents have and how they suffer from it.

In conclusion, Bharanis are stoics become pushovers with daddy issues. Sorry for the unsolicited lecture, it may happen again

Nahh you're right. Jupiter women and their daddy issues are well documented (by me lmao 🤣🤡) they do become excessively giving because their dad's weren't giving at all 😤

Jupiter is a masculine planet for a reason after all. Reminds me of Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon. She and her siblings were the illegitimate children of a famous actor and he never acknowledged them publicly. Her mom had many other kids from other relationships etc and they were dirt poor. Rekha even went to school with her father's legitimate kids and other kids in school knew about the whole situation and called her a bastard 🥺🥹

She started acting at the age of 13 to support her ailing mother and 6 or 7 siblings. She hated being an actor and was severely exploited in the industry, esp since she had no mentors or father figures :(((( in turn she made sure none of her siblings ever had to work in the movies to make a living and supported everyone financially until they settled down 🥺 she in turn never got married or had kids :((( (she was manipulated into marrying a guy once and he committed suicide and she was hella traumatized by that as well, but that's a separate story 💀)

Here's a pic of Rekha with some of her siblings (2 or 3 are missing in the picture)

She does embody that Jupiter woman being the man trope.

(This is Rekha & her mom Pushpavalli)

Despite everything, she's never spoken ill about her father or even her mother, who clearly made her the scapegoat and placed undue pressure on her to provide even though she was a literal child. She even named her house after her mother 🥺

Anywaayyyyyssss

I agree that Bharanis are in a unique position because of their mythology and in general I think Bharanis are more dignified and humane than other Venus naks

They're outcaste naks who know what it's like to be the outsider and work their way up

But yes they're pushovers with daddy issues 😭😭😭😭

I lowkey like how empathetic they are to women bc of what they saw growing up 😔😔 like they're genuinely just like "no this is not how it should be, women need to be worshipped period, my woman will never suffer this way" and 🤧🤧😩😩😩i fall for that shit lmao

I had a recent experience with a Jupiter conjunct Purvashada Rising man who thought that broke men did not deserve to have women 💀💀💀 he said men who cannot provide have no business dating or marrying 💀💀and that "real men" should never ask for a 50-50 and put the burden on his partner and if he truly loves her, he should want her to be relaxed and enjoy life. He said things like "what's the point of me working so hard if my family isn't enjoying themselves and having a good time, my wife can do whatever she wants and I'll support her but she will never have to work to pay the bills" and ngl I love this mentality lmfao 😂🤣🤪🤭

Venus men being scarred by incompetent dads and overcompensating by being the provider and father they never had is >>>>> 🥵🥵🥵🥵so sexy of them tbh

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: Yandere!SCP x Evil!Reader

Requested by: @Charlie_Sharlotte

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

So a little bit of context here:

Yes, I've done a Yandere!SCP x Reader before, but this one has a slight twist to it as requested by the user

The reader is just an ordinary human, just like my other post (you can get quick access HERE)

The only difference being how the Yandere!SCPs would react and the reader is evil

I'll be basing this off my other post, if you see something that's rather similar, that's why

SCP 073 (Cain)

When you first met Cain, neither of you had thought of much at first and just greeted each other as usual

Then, of course, you both became really good friends

Some would even say you both were inseparable as wherever they see with of you, the other would be close by

Not long after, you both just started dating which just happened

His yandere traits would gradually come through, but since it wasn't much different to his usual self, none of you would've noticed the change

Apart from you, of course, cus this man wouldn't let you be in harm's way and if you were, he would have to be with you the whole entire time

When Cain discovers that you work for another GOI, he was shocked and tried to -forcefully- make you stay loyal to the foundation which didn't work well

You stayed loyal to the Serpent's Hand and Cain warned the other members of the foundation

Not only did you find out about the news, but you were also very much aware of Cain's yandere tendencies in which you warned your team about this

The news that you were working with the Serpent's Hand got to the O5 council to which they kept a close eye on you

However, some would even call them bluff as you had made your way through the rankings in less than a year, displaying your intelligence and 'loyalty towards the foundation

As well as this, you were able to deceive most of the staff at the foundation, so you would be the last person anyone would suspect if there were an issue between the Foundation and the Serpent's Hand

Due to the love-hate relationship between both parties, the O5 Council had announced you as the 'bridge' between both the Foundation and the Serpent's Hand if either party were in need of help, within the reason of course

As for you and Cain, you tried to distance yourself but Cain's yandere tendencies forbid from that happening

And so you stayed, thinking that you could use him as a scapegoat

SCP 076 (Abel)

Abel gets slightly physical when he's a yandere

Like hella physical to the point he'd tie you up in his box and go on full rage mode if anyone tries to help save you or even question about your whereabouts

However, since you were one of the hostile type SCPs used by the Serpent's Hand, you knew that you could use Abel's yandere traits to your advantage

Since you weren't a yandere yourself, you would more often than not, find yourself trapped in his box

But since you had the ability to summon just about anything out of thin air, just like Abel, you were able to record and complete your tasks without being disturbed

Even though Abel knew that you were a hostile SCP, he was somehow oblivious to your abilities and your secret mission in the Foundation

The O5 council were concerned and intrigued that you were willing to be trapped inside his box and when asked, you kept silent

Abel would do anything to keep you by his side which was annoying if you had something to do, but you were a master manipulator so you were able to bribe him

As for the foundation staff, you could play off as not so hostile for now type SCP unless you were provoked, so most of the time, they'd just leave you in your containment room

During one of the containment breaches, Abel discovered that you were working for another GOI and attempted to question you about this but to no avail

As for the O5 council, they were able to get some information bout you from Abel, but it didn't help very much other than the fact you worked for a GOI

Neither the O5 council nor Abel knew which group you worked for and the council debated on whether to terminate you or not

They have come up with a conclusion to not terminate you for now as you were able to stop Abel from breaching the foundation

However, they had to keep a close eye on you both due to your activities with another GOI and may manipulate Abel into assisting you

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster)

This adorable little yandere orange blob here is the reason why most people in the foundation would suspect you as an enemy to the foundation

As in, either trying to destroy the world, working for another GOI or both, type of way

When 999's yandere traits kick in, he'd definitely be slightly possessive when he'd jealous but no more than that

999 would most definitely be oblivious to your evil traits until he sees it for himself, just like Abel

I feel that the foundation staff also wouldn't suspect a thing since you have that pure, innocent vibe

Since you give off those vibes, you tend to get away with thingy hella easily, sometimes it would go right under the noses of the O5 council, even though you're doing it right in front of them

I have high doubts that anyone would've caught you in the act of betraying the foundation or kidnapping the SCPs

And even if they did and was absolutely certain it was you, most of the others would call them delusional

There was that one time where 999 caught you with another SCP and got hella jealous but you were able to persuade him to stop ignoring you

The second time he caught you was when you were in the middle of releasing some Keter and Euclid class SCPs but wasn't able to stop you or warn the others in time

When the doctors found out, it was too late and you were with the Choas Insurgency

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

This little sh- right here would literally threaten to kill everyone you've ever cared about right in front of you and he would do it again and again

Luckily, you were cunning and deceitful, some would even say that you come across as suave in what you're doing

And in this case, you would play along with 682 like a game and this giant MF wouldn't even know (cuz he do be thicc)

The foundation is well aware of 682 being such a yandere and it's not like they could do anything other than observe

However, what's even scarier is you being able to multitask in various fields, making you a perfect doctor/agent they have

You were also planning on releasing the SCPs just for your own gain and would even go as far as deceiving the other GOIs just for some helping hand and gathering some intel

Not only that, you have used 682 as your scapegoat many times since he was known for causing various breaches

During that time, you were able to free most SCPs with a little help and those agents would soon be declared missing or dead under mysterious circumstances

Nobody would ever suspect you since you put on such an innocent facade and portrayed yourself as just someone who did as they're told

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

As a yandere, 049 would most definitely be similar to 035 and tie you up as a punishment

Sometimes, he would even go as far as using his 'subordinates' to monitor you while you were being left alone in a room while he's doing something

Normally, 049 would avoid punishing you and would explain to you what you did wrong with a harsher tone as if to intimidate you

However, as time went by, you've learnt a lot from the doctor and was able to adapt to various situations just like him

Being an ordinary human being, you'd constantly have to avoid touching his hands with yours or if you ever remembered, you'd wear gloves in case 049 would hold yours out of nowhere

If there were any breaches, the first thing he'd do is to look for you and make sure that you're by his side constantly

Little did he know, you were the corporate behind the breach as you wanted to seek revenge on the foundation for taking your family away and killing them all

And of course, you've learnt from the best from those around you, especially 049

In your head, you planned to use 049 to your advantage like always, but instead of using him as a scapegoat, you were planning on getting him to go against the foundation's will and join you

However, a part of you also wanted to use him as a scapegoat since all he does is dote around you and be possessive af

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

This yandere right here is not only possessive but manipulative af  and if you didn't know any better, you would've been wrapped around his fingers

But you did know better, so like many other 'evil people, you used this at your advantage since you know that 035 is all over you

You were amazing at seducing both men and women, but mainly guys, hand to hand combat, hacking, weapon knowledge and even cross-dressing, but you'd much rather not do that and hide in the dark (you introverted shy mf)

From time to time, you were able to make 035 leave you as you had "behaved well and should be rewarded" as 035 puts it

During that time, you'd hack into the Foundation's most secretive files and grab all the information you needed in order to achieve whatever goals you intended to finish

Not even 035 or the Foundation knows about this and if they ever catch on about the hacking incident, they wouldn't even take a second thought that it was you (since you have such a pretty face and nobody would suspect a thing, you're welcome for the compliment)

Since you were reliable, independent and trustworthy in the Foundation's eyes and you were able to adapt to 035's persona and adopt it into your work, you'd occasionally be sent to the other GOIs as an undercover spy

Little did everyone know, you used every bit of tool and would even use your position as an undercover to blackmail and even spill out the secrets of your mission just to get to where you want anyone to be

The Foundation would never have guessed your goals and would consider this incident as a slip-up and allow you to continue if you were able to keep everything under control

Not only that but they were soon informed that wherever you go, an individual or a whole team of people from the GOIs, including the Foundation's, would go missing or dead

Nobody knows why and they wouldn't even dare to question your authority since you were so high up

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

You were just one of the cleaners at the Foundation which so happened to bond well with 096 despite him being a yandere

096 as a yandere wasn't as bad as the others as he'll only go into depression or possessive mode, but even then, he was still handleable (IT'S CUZ HE HAS THAT MFING FACE THAT NO MOTHER COULD LOVE)

Anyways, I doubt that 096 would have enough intelligence to gather that you're evil for quite some time, but that doesn't mean that he's completely stupid

Moreso oblivious since he wouldn't believe anyone who says that you're working for another organisation and that you're just using him

When he went back to his cell, you came to check up on him and heard him crying, so you asked what happened

He told you all the 'lies' about you working for Chaos Insurgency and you quickly dismissed that with ease, knowing that 096 will only listen to you

You had informed your captain/team leader about the Foundation catching on and they made sure that you're still 'clean' and sent a couple of others to aid you

Once everyone got a hold of your plan, 096 quickly came out and snatched you, but not before killing all the agents

Basically, he's your personal bodyguard and servant who just happens to be depressed and slightly possessive

SCP 105 (Iris)

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

Iris is beyond possessive

She'll basically tie you up for days if she wanted to and you would have to try and outwit her since she has military training

Outwitting her would be hard since she's rather intelligent too

So what you did was to listen to her for quite some time in order to buy some time for your crew to sneak in and grab whatever they need before they flee

You made sure to be extra kind and sweet to our Iris here since she somehow managed to regain access to her camera

Your team was quickly notified so they proceeded with caution

Just because you managed to fool Iris doesn't mean you could fool the Foundation

As the Foundation proceed to warn Iris, you attempted to reassure her that it's not what it looks like, but she's not stupid at all

Depending on the situation, she might tie you up for days if not weeks and let you consume the tiniest amount of food and water

However, if you somehow managed to free yourself, defend yourself if she fighting you or outwit her, you would run back to your base to never be seen again

SCP 106 (Old Man)

An old yandere like 106 would make ordinary people think he's just old, crippled and possessive as well as perhaps a sugar daddy (Sorry, not)

Anyhow, aside from him being such a yandere, he wouldn't exactly notice you being evil and all unless it's explicitly shown in front of him and even then, he wouldn't believe it

The researchers, however, did manage to catch onto your evil side as you were midway through releasing various SCPs, including 682, 939 (FREE MY PET PLS), 049 and a couple of other well known Keter and Euclid class SCPs

They tried to arrest you and take you into full custody and interrogate you with the help of 105 and you found out soon that they both had a deal

The deal was that the researchers would get as much information out of you before disposing you to 106

You took advantage of this deal and managed to send a message to your team about it just to make sure that you're protected and someone would be sent to help you

Once you've done your mission in freeing certain SCPs, you were tasked to shut down or destroy the Foundation but failed

And not only that but your team were also caught in assisting you and breaking free the SCPs and were then killed on site

Since you were caught, your team leader sent down another dispatch to kill you and retrieve all the necessary information they needed

But since you didn't tell the Foundation everything you knew, they made an agreement with you by telling them everything you knew in exchange for your safety and you obliged

You also went to 106 and made him have a deal with both you and the researchers, but knowing the old man, you're more likely going to be killed by that SCP than by your team

Dr Simon Glass

This mf softie of a yandere right here would definitely know you're up to something

I mean, he's a psychologist, so of course, he'll get inside of your head before you would even blink twice

He wouldn't call you out just yet since he doesn't know the full extent of you working under someone or if you're working for yourself and using others to your own advantage

As for you, you knew that Simon wouldn't just let you go if he ever found out on what you're plotting and nor would he help bail you out just because you asked so nicely

So to avoid this problem, you asked your fellow subordinates from Dr Wondertainment to help cover for you

The MTFs caught on that there was newly discovered SCPs on their site and were quickly ordered to exterminated, neutralise or capture them for the safety of them and the others and to conduct further research

Little did they know, it was your little stunt to just get closer to Dr Glass and to use him in your plans

After many months of studying each and every SCPs and conducting a plan for your team, the researchers finally discovered that it was you behind all the mess with the help of Simon Glass

Realising that it is too dangerous for you to be working along in the Foundation, you fled,, leaving Simon Glass all alone and wanting to keep you in his room forever

Simon demanded a search party to find you but was denied

Since you've been caught already, you sent somebody else to do the work for you

And that assistant just so happens to look just like you (totally not your evil twin or anything)

Dr Jack Bright

Jack Bright had you locked up in a chamber below the Foundation when he had discovered you being the culprit behind the recent breaches and other related incidents

You were just as vicious and deadly as most of the best agents the Foundation ever has and staying in the Foundation had just turned you insane and just as sadistic

You enjoyed causing so much chaos, leaving all the innocent, cheery memories behind and new friends and family you've made along the way was long gone

Bright wasn't stupid, he may be goofy and somewhat chaotic at times, he'd been in the Foundation for longer than anyone (he'd also be earning more than the amount of money in your bank account)

He's definitely one of the most intelligent doctors and most definitely has access to most files and holds more secrets than any seniors in the Foundation

There's no doubt that he would find out about you and lock you up in no time

Knowing you, he's very much certain that you'll wreak havoc on the Foundation within a matter of hours for no apparent reason

The other staff would deem you as an SCP but Bright dismisses that and nobody has ever heard of you since

He tortured you for hours and its no wonder why you'd become so visibly and mentally insane

Dr Alto Clef

Clef was able to somehow find a way to unlock your secrets about you working with another GOI named Church of the Broken God

And despite having to work together with a handful of times, both GOIs remain enemies, so Alto would have to keep a close eye on you

On occasions, he would blackmail you, chain you up and inflict pain on you just to get some intel off from you

However, little did he know, you've learnt from the best liars and was able to conceal the truth from him

Clef may be good at finding information on a person and threaten others, but you were able to adapt as quick as the speed of light and was manipulative just like him

Unlike the others, Clef would most definitely snitch on you, but that's no surprise since you've done just that to him with the Church of the Broken God

Moreover, Clef didn't know that you were married to someone working for the very same GOI and was shocked once he found out

The Foundation found it difficult to track you and your spouse since you're both highly trained along with the data you've gathered on the foundation staff and SCPs

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Benjamin Kodraki, another softer yandere, would have never known that you worked with the Deer College if it wasn't for his butterflies

He would give you the benefit of the doubt at first, but when you kept doing his questions and threats, he would give in and tell the O5 council

They would dismiss Kondraki at first, but once they've discovered a chain of unusual events happening at the Foundation, they knew it was much more than just a coincidence and took action

Kondraki aided them in finding you, but to no avail, except for one of your long term friends (you have friends?! what a shocker)

He had chained up your friend and they exposed your hideout spot which just so happened to be right underneath the Foundation

When he had found you, he forcefully dragged you up to his room and tied you up as you saw your friend's lifeless body beside you

You hated him because of his yandere tendencies and tried to break free

Luckily for you, the professors at the College managed to set you free, fleeing with you before Kondraki and the other members of the Foundation could do anything

Later on, Kondraki soon realised that you were in the Deer College just to gain additional knowledge and to retrieve some samples of the SCPs in the Foundation to conduct your own research and art collection

Not only that, you were exceptionally good at history and social science and Invocations and Summoning which was why you picked both subjects to study further with your creativity in the art department as your hobby

[bloomblitz]

Dracula Daily June 24th

This is a long one, so under the cut it goes

I thought I would watch for the Count, for there is something going on. Jonathan, good on you! Recon!

It was a new shock to me to find that he had on the suit of clothes which I had worn whilst travelling here, and slung over his shoulder the terrible bag which I had seen the women take away... so that he may both leave evidence that I have been seen in the towns or villages posting my own letters, and that any wickedness which he may do shall by the local people be attributed to me. Oh. Oh man, Drac's not taking ANY chances. Letters are one thing but to have townsfolk say that they've *seen* Jonathan is another entirely. And to pin vampire crimes on him too???? Damn John, at this point even if you did manage to escape into any village you'd be deemed a criminal at BEST.

Then I began to notice that there were some quaint little specks floating in the rays of the moonlight. They were like the tiniest grains of dust, and they whirled round and gathered in clusters in a nebulous sort of way. I watched them with a sense of soothing, and a sort of calm stole over me... I felt myself struggling to awake to some call of my instincts; nay, my very soul was struggling, and my half-remembered sensibilities were striving to answer the call. I was becoming hypnotised! Can we just appreciate how lovely this part is? And good on you John for realizing what was really going on!

And then I started, broad awake and in full possession of my senses, and ran screaming from the place. The phantom shapes, which were becoming gradually materialised from the moonbeams, were those of the three ghostly women to whom I was doomed. Yes! Survival instincts! It's a good thing you met them before, otherwise this entry would've been very different. Can you imagine? 3 women materialize by moonlight?

When she saw my face at the window she threw herself forward, and shouted in a voice laden with menace:—"Monster, give me my child!" Drac's plan's already working. John's a scapegoat.

There was no cry from the woman, and the howling of the wolves was but short. Before long they streamed away singly, licking their lips. I could not pity her, for I knew now what had become of her child, and she was better dead. What shall I do? what can I do? How can I escape from this dreadful thing of night and gloom and fear? This whole last part swung fully into horror. So far we've had small glimpses of it, interspersed with moments we could make light of and aesthetic descriptions we could take a moment to enjoy but this? This is a lot to happen all at once. Poor Jonathan. Now marked a criminal by the locals, even if he did escape the castle, the 3 women and Drac didn't sic his wolves on the man, John would still find no help. And recall, he has no traveling or credit papers. I guess I had still had a glimmer of hope for John up until now, but this? Marking him for vampiric crimes? It feels like the final nail in the coffin.

[igigix]

Black Heart

Chapter 3: What's Your Motive?

- Rio (Good Girls) x Female Reader/You -

-> 18+ readers only!

-> English is not my native language, so bear with me because there will probably be some grammatical mistakes.

Summary: Rio, a dangerous, ruthless gangster, stumbles your path.

Rating: Mature, Explicit, NSFW.

Word count: 1.0k

A/N: Yay! Chapter 3 is finally here! I hope you guys will enjoy reading Rio POV.

The next night, Rio is waiting outside the stationery shop where you work. It’s a little after six, and he knows your shift ends soon. He called the store and checked your schedule. He also knows that once he left yesterday night, You went straight to your sister, Bonnie. His man informed him that you stayed the night there instead of going back to your apartment.

He won’t be fooled twice; as a result, he ran a background check on You. You recently graduated with a master’s degree in Graphic and Digital Design. Raised by a single mother. You grew up in a modest home, which did not prevent you from succeeding in school and being an excellent student. He learned that you’re not really close to your family, apart from your sister, who you spend a lot of time with. And without difficulty, he had access to your criminal record; unsurprisingly, you’re clean. So, he doesn’t understand how a woman like you ended up in the money laundering business. What’s your motive? Why do you put yourself in such a tricky situation? He will find out soon. He’s curious about that shit. But above all, he must be cautious and not make the same mistakes again.

He got caught off guard by Elisabeth. He believed he could trust her and give her the keys to the kingdom since it was lonely at the top. He was wrong, but he found out the hard way that he didn’t mean anything to her. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was starting to develop feelings for her, which irritated him. He almost lost everything because he believed he could be with her, mix business with pleasure. He quickly realized that she didn’t care about anyone except herself. She was never going to leave her idiot husband for him. She prefers to maintain the image of a perfect family. She won’t face the hard truth. Instead, she keeps acting like she’s too good to be a part of his world. Using him as a scapegoat to give herself a clean conscience rather than dealing with her own actions was easier. Three fucking bullets, without any hesitation. Luckily for him, she couldn’t aim for shit. He recovered thanks to his son Marcus, who was always in his thoughts and heart. Rage and determination to take revenge helped him a lot too. He’s still contemplating what to do with her, but one thing is sure: he no longer wants to be involved with Elizabeth. She is extremely unpredictable, which is a high risk in his line of work. Plus, he didn’t need her anymore. You’re more valuable. You will be able to reproduce counterfeit money plates continually, and you have the knowledge about the process.

And just then, you emerge, walking out the shop door and heading out to your car, just as Rio turns his attention to you. It’s odd to see you again. It throws him off. At least momentarily. He couldn’t help himself but admire your beauty. He tries to push such emotions away and concentrate on why he’s here. But your dress makes it difficult to put those thoughts down as you shimmy past his car and toward yours.

He unlocks his door as soon as you reach your car before you can grab your keys. He accosts you.

“Hey, mama, you miss me?”

You stop, and he notices how your back stiffens as you recognize his voice. He takes a few steps, and although it’s well past six o’clock, the sun is still too hot in the sky. You turn slowly, squinting at him.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“And here I hoped for a warmer welcome….”

You want to respond, but your sight is drawn over Rio’s shoulder, where two women are talking. He turns his attention to the departing customers. Each one of them has bags filled with purchases.

“This is my workplace. You can’t come, at least not unexpectedly. My boss will end up asking questions.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather I wait for you at your place?”

“What? No. What’s this about? I have a week; you said so.”

“Relax, sweetheart. I just wanna know how’s my girl doing.”

the two clients silently arrive near their car. Looking curiously in your direction. Intrigued by your exchanges, making you uncomfortable.

“Please just leave.” You say, lowering your voice so he can only hear you. “We are drawing attention.”

“Then let’s go,” He replies, gesturing to his car, where Mick is standing.

“What? Where?”

“Dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“I am, and we need to celebrate.”

“Celebrate what?”

“Our deal.”

When the door opens again, someone runs up to you, yelling your name. “Y/N! Thank goodness you’re still here.”

When she gets to you, she comes to a halt as she realizes you’re not alone and greets Rio shyly when she sees him. Her gaze falls on his tattoo.

“I like your tattoo.”

“Arw, Thank you!” Grins Rio clearly amused by the exchange.

“what’s it means?” She asks.

“Well, it’s um-sorta for this club that I’m in.”

“Cool! Super cool. I’m sorry for interrupting Y/N. I didn’t know you were with someone.”

“I’m not. What is it?” You demand.

“I need your approval regarding an order from Mr Niels. I just finished the design; I emailed you everything. Here’s also the file.”

She hands over a folder to you. Still standing, she’s looking forward to being introduced. Her eyes filled with questions. But you don’t react. Ignoring Rio, acting like he’s not even here. He doesn’t mind. It’s kind of funny watching you try to pretend he doesn’t exist.

“Thank you.” You answer. There’s an awkward pause; then, he decides to take matters into his own hands to have more fun and annoy you.

“I’m Rio.” He intrudes himself. “A friend of Y/N. I believe we spoke on the phone earlier, yeah?”

“You what?” He hears you gasp.

“Lucy, isn’t it?” The girl nods with a huge smile on her face. “Lucy here was kind enough to give me your schedule for the week.”

He sees you look at the girl with disbelief.

“I’m glad I could help Mr Pérez.” She nods eagerly.

───────── ∙ ~εïз~ ∙ ──────────

<- Previous chapter: One Minute Man -> Next chapter: Bathroom Break

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[rf-times]

Dear anon who helped me sending the Delphy link to her: thank you <3

I love your impressions about this amazing article. I think this text is literally one of the best criticisms towards the male left yet it's not very well known, which is a shame!

I particularly loved the way she explored how misogynistic leftists try to take feminism down by calling themselves “male feminists”, trying to appropriating our own movement - because they want us in silence - while labeling feminists as “extremists”, “men haters”, etc only because... They acknowledge(and oppose to the fact) that men oppress women and ALWAYS using rich women as both scapegoat for the misogyny they hold to all women but also to show how feminism is actually useless because “women can opresses too”. The complexity of systems of oppression and exploitation is often used to excuse male violence because most men are oppressed across the lines of race and class but the same logic can't be applied to women. There's no nuance and even when they are in a particular state of vulnerability in comparison to the male of her own class or race, these men manage to somehow act like these women are more privileged than any men (if you noticed the mra's shit arguments here is because they come from the same place: they believe women's oppression is privilege but men's oppression are the only that matters).

While I think it's indispensable to understand how the differences across class, race, sexuality, region, etc affect women's lives in very diverse ways, I think very few people pay attention to the fact that in the left and social movements dominated by men there's the idea that misogyny doesn't exist or how we are affected by sexism is just more an accident due to we being women experiencing class exploitation and race oppression. This idea is nothing more than the old misogyny and unlike a lot of people like to think, this denial of male supremacy has the worst impact on the most vulnerable women. As feminists, we can't let these lies keep being used against us.

I also liked how she discussed what people nowadays have been calling “white guilty” on social movements and it's a big problem on left and in feminism in particular, it didn't help to increase the voices, presence and participation of women of color in feminism. It ended up being a tool to privileged academic feminists to dismiss the second wave feminism as being nothing but “racist, white bourgeois feminism” while they don't care about centering race and class within the feminism theory and practice and they still end up being praised as a good example of “white feminist ally” when in reality what these women do is constantly erase women of color from feminist history, obliterate any real feminist solidarity among feminists of all races, using women of color studies and activism against white women they don't like and blind themselves from any criticisms of racism, since they use racism as a token and think it equal to a genuine anti racist politic. 🥴

The ask became bigger than I wanted it to be but I am really happy you read it! She also had another interesting text where she discusses about class and sex, it's called The core enemy.

Yes to everything you've written! And fantastic point especially about the academic, bourgeois conception of anti-racism vs true allyship. The assumption that we can just study race and class with male biases and that will somehow equate to intersectional feminism only ends up harming women. And yeah, men's desire to join and colonise feminist spaces and prove their philosophical superiority at any given point just goes to show the depths of men's misogyny. All amazing observations as always anon and I will add The core enemy to my lil reading list :)

[smiledog15578]

OK BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LIKE... who the real villain is in wkm?

I think we all know who it is it’s pretty obvious it’s the house but I honestly think we don’t talk about it often? Literally that’s the mf who’s the real bastard here. ITS THEORY TIME 😼

While actor Mark is an asshole and technically a villain he wasn’t like like that before. Hell he was a generous man helping his friends and was a loved man. When Celine left his ass he was venerable af and the entity was like “TIME TO MANIPULATE THIS MAN FOR MY OWN GAIN” and made him the asshole the way that he is now. I think actor Mark thinks that he’s in control oh shit because he might of been told that but really the house is pulling the strings and making him believe that. He’s literally just about chess piece to use for this evil game of chess (lol analogy)

I’d also like to point out that Celine might of left actor because the house told her to. At the time actor wasn’t vulnerable especially with having a good life with his wife and having an outstanding career and the house probably didn’t like that. So in order to make him weak it took the only thing that he lived at the time, Celine. Another reason she left was because of bad vibes. That house is just infested with bad juju and Celine being a seer noticed that over time but back then since it was kinda discouraged to divorce especially for a women to do it luckily William knew and took her in. William has lived in the same house actor lived so I’m guessing he’s aware of the evil it contains since when he gets turned into Wilford hell even during wkm he isn’t weirded out by the things happening to the house and other weird shit. He was trying to protect Celine. Now again I just wanna say the adultery doesn’t excuse it still a shitty thing to do and William is still a stubborn a hole just as much as actor.

HOWEVER this situation is like novel: The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (1925). (Btw if you don’t want spoilers skip this) in the book, daisy cheats with Gatsby behind Tom’s (daisy’s husband) back because like I said either during those times it was shunned for women to divorce their husbands and during those days women weren’t really independent back then. They were VERY pressured to get married and have children etc etc. Tom was an asshole to daisy and was even cheating on her but of course men and women back then had double standards where women couldn’t or should do this and same went for men. and I’m not saying that Celine didn’t love actor cause I’m sure they did love each other so much but it kinda explains why she left him other than just because. I also don’t think Celine was necessarily abusive nor do I think actor was at the time. Things got heated and the only scapegoat was to leave him and never return to that house again.

Another thing on my tiny pea sized brain is about the houses world. I have a theory that the house has created a universe inside it while Everything out side it is the original universe (or just our reality idk). This is why George (the groundskeeper) doesn’t appear in any of the new videos is because he wasn’t in the house during all this mess (in the character world idk if the actor for George just didn’t wanna be in the series but then you have to wonder why his portrait isn’t up in the hallway dark made in AHWM). You can think of the house as if it’s a movie set or a green screen. To us and the actors we see these worlds and weird shit when in reality there’s nothing there. Nobody actually dies in this universe because like movies no one actually dies they’re just not on the set. Even the side characters don’t really die cause us as the viewers revive them be just rewatching the video. Wilford knows people won’t die because 1. He’s seen his friend get up and walk around after being dead and 2. He knows that when people “die” they just come back by the help of your Or the entity. He acknowledges that in AHWM where he states that we can PAUSE the video. Almost none of the characters except Wilford has acknowledged that which makes me think he’s a lot smarter the we think or just has more common sense. Wilford is forgetful sure but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid he was a colonel for crying out loud one of the highest ranks in the US army lol. I’d like to also point out that Wilford uses this set ordeal to his advantage most importantly. In WKM we see William do it too by appearing one place then teleporting to another place. Kinda think of the house as the 3rd dimension. Wilford “escapes” that dimension to a new plane and can come back when in reality he’s just leaving what the house is previewing to everyone in the house. Everyone else In this universe except maybe actor, Wilford, and dark know that you don’t have to play along. These people in the houses universe are programmed to believe that they can’t escape have HAVE to play a character.

(Spoilers for wandavision) when I watched wandavision not that long ago it made me think about the MCU (not marvel cinematic universe😏✨ MARKIPLIER cinematic universe) and how it’s kinda like that. Wanda in the show creates this force field out of grief where everything inhabits it is turned into her liking of what fits the narrative. People are being held hostage to just play a part in Wandas sick tv show SHES made for her and her husband. People outside the forcefield are just normal people but once they put a person, object, etc it gets turned into what WANDA wants. I think that fits into the mcu because the house is EXACTLY like that. These mfs haven’t aged at all because time isn’t existing for their universe. Abe thinks that he’s been tracing down William for years but Mark said that “he thinks that but really wmlw is right after wkm” (that’s paraphrasing go watch the wmlw to get a better explanation LMAO) but like I said the house makes you feel like it’s been only years or days but it’s not even close to that.

With that all being said I don’t think anyone here is the real villain here or the hero. Like Mark said They’re all human which they have bad and good traits the only thing that’s the real asshole is the house. It’s like it’s a living breathing purgatory that creates chaos

BUT THATS JUST A THEORY

A GAME- or a youtube .. YouTube theory? YEA A YOUTUBE THEORY!

now mind you I’m not the best at writing so I’m sorry that none of this made sense feel free to correct me or chime in with your theories but I just wanted to share my theories and ideas :) and if you made it those far I’m sorry I wasted ur time HSJSJDJJSJD

[ms-hells-bells]

hi! i was wondering if you read up on the latest news about the trafficking of women in china? it sparked a lot of outrage from what i've seen but i'm really concerned about whether anything will be done since the authorities are trying to cover it all up. here's something about it if you're curious: https://amp.scmp.com/news/china/politics/article/3167249/2-detained-china-after-trying-visit-woman-found-chained-hut

i saw that incident. so, it's more likely that it's the local/regional authorities covering it up. china is MASSIVE, so local affairs are typically left almost completely up to police and local court systems. but in rural areas, the environment for women is particularly terrible, which is why china currently has a crisis where not only do they have "too few women" (thanks to femicide), but all those women are moving to urban areas for opportunities (since they can't even inherent farmland and businesses according to rural tradition, it's given to sons), and so rural men are largely without wives. several things have been done by rural communities to 'fix' this, including economic propositions to women who move to the countryside (even the ccp themselves are starting to offer money), human trafficking from both within china (with the one child rule, rural families were exempt and allowed to have more children, but most could not afford multiple and tried to only have boys, but as rural girls got more scarce, a decent amount would adopt a girl that had been one of the many given up to orphanages, or even traded by another local family that wanted to try again for a boy but don't want to spend money feeding a girl's mouth, and they'd adopt them purely so that their son would have a bride in the future, and they wouldn't have that girl in school, she'd be forced to 'learn how to be a bride'), and from outside china as well, 'mail order brides', as well as straight up kidnapping.

why am i telling you all this? because it shows the attitude that many rural communities have in regards to women and marriages. many are willing to do anything to get those men brides, no matter how unethical, so i imagine the sentiment from the police and similar entities is "she's his wife, if we take her away, he has no wife and he needs a wife, he has 8 kids. it's his business, she belongs to him". they arrested the two women who tried to see the woman in an attempt to keep covering it up. the other big reason they're covering it up and then contradicting themselves, i believe, is fear of the central government.

the central chinese government needs these men to have wives in order to produce more rural workers, who are the backbone of china's foodbank and economy (these poor rural workers are also the ones who end up in the slave factories that produce their global empire of products. it's largely rural women and girls), they will essentially turn a blind eye to anything that goes on as long as 'things get sorted'. they will even tacitly aid by censoring social media, and try to keep things under control for as long as they can. BUT, if they are forced to notice something because an incident has gone public, particularly internationally, then they will often take action. because reputation matters to them above all else, and they will scapegoat smaller authorities, there's always more to replace them. it's not uncommon for the CCP to imprison and even sentence to death local authorities for corruption and other crimes (it also keeps lower level authorities in line through fear) . they need at least some illusion of trust and protection for the people to keep supporting them, as well as the international community to not completely see them in the same way we see other dictatorships. peng shuai was doomed because he was a former high ccp politician. this is just some man, and rural authorities.

currently, the chinese people are going crazy over this story. they are enraged, social media is going crazy. they are even consistently avoiding social media censors in order to keep spamming at any official account or post about this chained woman. there are popular police officer accounts from other counties and cities expressing public anger at the local police there, which is near unheard of, i have never heard of one branch of chinese police openly condemn another despite the ccp trying to block online talk about it. and now it has reached international attention. and i was right, i just read through your linked article, and after it blowing up, they have arrested the husband and two accomplices of his. they are panicking. they'll either wait until things quiet down and release the husband and his trafficked wife without charges, or they'll be pressured by the ccp to charge and imprison the man as a 'show of how the government deals with crime, there is justice'. it seems that the broader province that the county is in has announced that they're sending their own police to deal with it, so i think it'll be the latter. but i don't think we'll ever get the full truth, just whatever makes china look the best. because essentially, this story going public has embarrassed them.

[reallifesultanas]

Portrait of Turhan Hatice / Turhan Hatice portréjra

PS before reading: Sorry that I did not use Hande Dogandemir as Turhan, but she is just not Turhan for me. She is an amazing actress and a pretty woman, but she was nothing like Turhan. Meanwhile Yasemin Allen in the ultimate Turhan for me, so yeah...:D 

Origin and education

Turhan Hatice was a Slavic woman of Russian descent, born around 1627. She was captured by the Tartars from her homeland, the Russian steppes, so she came to Istanbul as a child in the second half of the 1630s. Here, of the many slaves, she had a relatively fortunate fate, for she was bought by a pasha from slave traders. Later the pasha gifted her to Burnaz Atike Sultan's service. We are un such a lucky situation that we know some hints about Turhan’s appearance. They say she was very white skin, had blue eyes, brown hair (others suggest she was blond), and was tall.

Atike Sultan, who was the daughter of Ahmed I, noticed the beauty and talent of the girl, so she paid special attention to her education. Based on the subsequent relationship between the two, we can guess that Atike treated the girl very well, and practically a very close, fraternal relationship developed between the two women. Atike was also almost a mother figure to Turhan’s child as well, which makes it clear that the relationship between the two women remained very close throughout their lives. Turhan, with such a background and education, was a very special gift to Atike's younger brother, the new Sultan Ibrahim I. According to others, Atike gave the girl to Kösem Sultan and eventually she introduced her to Ibrahim.

Her life with Ibrahim I

We do not know the order in which Ibrahim’s concubines were given to him, presumably the mothers of the three eldest children, Turhan Hatice, Hatice Muazzez, and Saliha Dilaşub became Ibrahim’s concubines roughly at the same time. However, Turhan was the first to become pregnant and give birth to a boy in January 1642. We would think that, as the mother of the heir to the throne, she received particularly great respect and special authority. However, none is true. The relationship between Ibrahim and Turhan soon deteriorated greatly. And in general Ibrahim's concubines could not really gain power for themselves because of their mother-in-law, Kösem Sultan. Turhan Hatice probably had another daughter shortly after Mehmed, Atike, but they probably had no more children together. This is not surprising, since there was an open conflict between Turhan and Ibrahim before or around 1645, after which both Turhan and her son were pushed into the background.

The wet-nurse of Prince Mehmed and her son were very much liked by the sultan, who constantly spent time with the nurse's son, Osman, considered him as his own son, while he pushed away Mehmed. Raising a slave’s son as his own caused a huge anomaly in the harem and triggered a lot of rumors. Turhan could not tolerate the humiliation of her son, the heir to the throne, so some said she directly questioned Ibrahim. Others say she sent the wet-nurse out of her service, who in turn complained about Turhan’s behavior to the sultan. Either way, Sultan Ibrahim became angry and his anger was directed at Mehmed. He staged a huge scene, then tore Prince Mehmed out of his mother's arms and threw him into a cistern. The child suffered severe head injuries but survived the incident without permanent damage after the servants rushed to his rescue immediately. For the rest of his life, Mehmed had a scar on his forehead due to this event.

The following years were about dread and humiliation, as Ibrahim became more and more insane, committed more and more inexplicable things, and married one of his young concubines, whom he raised above everyone else. Kösem Sultan and her followers at one point tried to dethrone the mad Sultan to replace him with his son, Mehmed, but to no avail. Lots of heads fell to dust after the rebellion, Kösem Sultan herself was exiled too. We don’t know how Turhan lived through this period, but given the events, she could probably have worried a lot about her son’s life. The relationship between Turhan and Mehmed was very close, perhaps one of the closest during the period of the Sultanate of women. This strong bond may have been formed in the period of common suffering from Ibrahim's madness.

The resurrected hope

In August 1648, Ibrahim was finally dethroned and locked up by the Janissaries and Kösem Sultan. Soon the statesmen flocked to the palace to take Prince Mehmed to the Janissary Mosque to be proclaimed Sultan there. Kösem Sultan did not allow this, did not hand over her grandson. She argued with the statesmen for hours before it was finally agreed that Prince Mehmed would be proclaimed sultan within the palace, as tradition requires. Turhan could finally know her son was safe, she might think everything would be fine, but it didn’t happen that way.

The statesmen asked Kösem Sultan to become a regent to Mehmed IV, as Mehmed’s own mother herself was too young for the role. The statesmen expected Kösem Sultan to prepare and educate Turhan and Mehmed for the task ahead of them, but Kösem Sultan thought otherwise. She wanted to lead the empire, like a monarch. The reason for this was presumably the execution of Ibrahim. The statesmen seem to have executed the former sultan without the consent and knowledge of Kösem Sultan. Kösem Sultan for that reason refused to work with the statesmen, and we can also deduce from the events that she may blamed Turhan also.

Kösem Sultan completely excluded Turhan from political life, but what was an even bigger problem that Mehmed was excluded too. In addition, she did not allow Turhan to act as a legitimate Valide Sultan either in the harem. Kösem Sultan, for example, did not allow Turhan to send away the mother of Ibrahim's other children (except Hümaşah, who herself also hated). With this, she further degraded Turhan's role as a Valide Sultan. She also did not give Turhan the salary of Valide Sultanas (3,000 aspers), she only received 2,000 aspers per day, while Kösem Sultan herself received 3,000 aspers per day as if she was the Valide Sultan. We can accept that the experienced Kösem Sultan did not want to let the inexperienced Turhan, whom she considered unfit, be near the political arena. However, it is undeniable that Turhan had the right to lead the harem, Kösem Sultan, however, refused to let her do so.

Turhan then began to stand up for herself and, with the support of Chief Eunuch Uzun Suleiman Agha, she created her own harem staff and began to control arbitrarily. At the same time, of course, Kösem Sultan did not leave the matter at that, and she also had a harem staff out of her own people. In the end, there was chaos in the harem, people didn’t know which leaders to listen to, to whom to obey. The harem thus split in two, some serving the "Great Valide," Kösem Sultan, while others served the "Little Valide," Turhan. There is no doubt that Turhan was in a better position in some aspects because the most influential eunuch, Suleiman, was on her side.

The rebel

There is a lot of legend and half-information about the year 1651. It is so certain that no one liked the monopoly of Kösem Sultan. Over time, all the statesmen turned against her and wanted to remove her from power. Kösem Sultan's only support was coming from some corps of Janissaries, who, whatever happened, supported her. Turhan took advantage on the fact that Kösem did not have any men in the divan. Turhan, with the help of Suleiman Agha, was able to contact the statesmen and immediately gained the support of some of them. Legend has it that Turhan herself directed the pashas against Kösem Sultan. In practice, however, we do not have sufficient evidence. Nor can we rule out that it was not Turhan who used the pashas against Kösem Sultan, but the pashas used Turhan. Either way, their common goal was to get rid of Kösem Sultan.

By then, Turhan was no longer just worried about Kösem Sultan humiliating her within the harem. The information came to light that Kösem Sultan wanted to dethrone Mehmed and replace him with Saliha Dilaşub's son, Suleiman. That would have meant Mehmed's confinement and death. After all, when Ibrahim I was executed, it was argued that if there was already a sultan (Mehmed), then the existence of the other sultan (Ibrahim) had become obsolete. Others say Kösem Sultan never wanted to do that, only the pashas made Turhan to believe it. Nor can we rule out that Turhan herself invented this excuse to legitimize the removal of Kösem Sultan.

Kösem Sultan was finally strangled during a coup in September 1651 and power passed to Turhan Hatice. Turhan’s role in the events to this day is questionable. I don’t want to go into the details because that alone is worth a post. So a post will be made soon where I will put together a bunch of information about the events around the assassination of Kösem Sultan. In any case, the Pashas and Turhan were able to twist the events so that the Janissaries who supported Kösem Sultan were used as scapegoats, and they were executed. Meanwhile, Turhan and the statemen quietly organized the funeral of Kösem Sultan.

The long-awaited role?

Given her son’s youth, Turhan Hatice became regent, at just 25 years old. She accompanied her son to every important meeting and followed the events behind curtains. More than once she spoke very wisely in the divan. Once Gürcü Mehmed Pasha refused to follow the proposals instructions of Mesud Efendi, appointed by Turhan. Gürcü Mehmed Pasha demanded that his words should be accepted because, as he said, his beard had also whitened in the service of the state so he knowns better. Turhan replied, "Really, pasha! White beards and black beards are not the issue. Sound policy comes not from age but from intelligence. Whatever [Mesud Efendi] says, do immediately; listen to him and discuss everything with him. I warn you, do nothing contrary to his views!" Turhan’s performance within the divan shows well that many did not take her seriously because of her youth, but she did her best to carry out her opinion.

Although she tried to look strong from the outside, Turhan never wanted to do everything by just herself, we know from her letters that before many important events she asked the opinion of the people she valued. From these requests for help, it becomes clear that Turhan was a very respectful woman who loved to keep the formalities as appropriate. In addition, it is clear from her letters that most of the time she was aware of exactly what she should do, she simply wanted confirmation before taking action. These little things suggest well that the image of a cruel and power-hungry woman painted by the world about Turhan may not be real.

Another case that well illustrated Turhan’s personality and political attitude was when the Crimean khan passed away. Turhan then wrote a letter to the Grand Vizier, “You’ve requested a sword and a robe of honor for his successor. From what I hear, it is customary rather for the Tatar Khan to send [gifts] to the sultan. It’s true I’ve never witnessed such a thing but that’s what I hear. Now you examine the kanunnames and act accordingly.” This case shows that Turhan was well acquainted with etiquette, yet she didn’t want to tell off pashas not knowing it. Instead, she asked for confirmation from an outside source so the pashas take her seriously. This also clearly shows the impression of a clever but conflict-avoiding person who, although in a higher position than anyone around her (except her son), did not act rude. In another case, the Grand Vizier did not buy enough wood for the Old Palace. Then Turhan wrote him that, "There is not enough firewood in the Old Palace to boil soup! What’s the reason for this? Is it not a royal palace?".

The greatest task of Turhan's regency was to find a suitable Grand Vizier. Due to the change in the geopolitical situation, the early 1650s were very chaotic, and the Grand Viziers were constantly dismissed because none of them were fit for the task. Many blame Turhan for the economic and political crisis, but this is not valid. Turhan tried to find the most suitable statesmen, but there were not too many suitable persons. Turhan finally resolved the crisis in 1656 at great risk. Köprülü Mehmed Pasha was an extremely unpopular pasha with few supporters but blessed with a genius mind and with a difficult nature. Turhan thought she would be able to break out of the chaos with the help of the pasha. However, Köprülü was well aware of how risky it was to take up the position of Grand Vezier, so he had a condition. He only took the position if he was given a relatively free hand. In practice, of course, this did not mean that he did not report or that he did whatever he wanted, but rather that he took over the regent duties from Turhan. He consulted with Turhan and Mehmed throughout and acted with their approval.

The beloved Valide Sultan

We don’t know what Turhan felt and what she thought with the end of her regency. However, events suggest that she preferred to perform the duties of the Valide Sultan over the duties of the Regent. She continued to support her son in everything, she paid special attention to his education and also consulted regularly with Köprülü, so contrary to popular belief, she did not completely withdraw from politics. In addition to administering politics and harem, she finally had time to embark on her philanthropy and her vast architectural projects. She did her first construction project back in 1652/3, but it was just a fountain in Beşiktaş. She began her first project of real significance in 1658 when she established two fortresses on the Dardanelles. These fortresses were very important from a military point of view, as it made it possible to defend the Bosphorus. This project has increased the popularity of both Turhan and Mehmed. This was soon followed by the construction of the deservedly famous New Mosque. The complex was started by Safiye Sultan in the late 1500s, but with the loss of Safiye's power, the project was halted, and then several fires destroyed its surroundings, so it was almost completely destroyed. So this is what Turhan Hatice started again. By 1665, the complex was completed, with a mosque, school, fountain, library, and market (now known as the Spice Bazaar or Egyptian Bazaar nowadays). After the complex, Turhan embarked on several smaller projects, one of which was the construction of a water network to help people on a pilgrimage to Mecca get water. In addition, the temples of several newly occupied/recaptured areas were converted into mosques and given the name Turhan Hatice.

With her constructions, charity, and because of the relatively peaceful period, Turhan became a favorite of the people. People loved and respected her and her son. Mehmed had grown up enough to rule for himself so far, but he continued to seek his mother’s opinion in everything and considered her an equal companion in both life and politics. Mehmed was not preoccupied with politics, he usually left it to the Grand Vizier and his mother. It is no coincidence that the people believed that the two pillars of the empire were none other than Köprülü and Turhan. The relationship between Turhan and Mehmed is considered one of the closest mother-son relationships in the history of the Ottoman Empire. Turhan never wanted to dominate her son, she never controlled him or interfered in his private life. Yet she would have had the opportunity to do so, as a rival soon appeared in Mehmed's life.

The combined presence of the Valide Sultan and an influential consort did not bring much good in previous decades, so one would expect that this was no different for Turhan. However, Turhan accepted her son’s chosen one, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş, and tried to cultivate a respectful relationship with the woman. She never tried to limit Emetullah’s influence even in the political arena. And Emetullah thanked her mother-in-law this with similarly respectful behavior. Only one case is known is when Turhan confronted Emetullah Rabia Gülnüş. For the sake of Emetullah's sons, she wanted Mehmed to kill his half-brothers, who had lived in solitary confinement for years and tried to persuade the Sultan to do so. The sultan may have been inclined to do so himself, but Turhan's powerful action prevented the execution of Princes Suleiman and Ahmed.

Turhan also maintained a close relationship with her foster sons and never left them alone from then on. Fearing that Emetullah would eventually reach her aim, Turhan took the two princes with her everywhere when she left the capital. Turhan could also be similarly close to one of her foster daughters, Fatma. Since Fatma was buried in the Turhan complex, many believe that Fatma was the daughter of Turhan, however, this is unlikely. Fatma presumably orphaned and was then taken care of by Sultans Turhan and Atike. So when the girl died at the age of seventeen, Turhan arranged for her funeral as if she had her own daughter.

Turhan’s generosity is also mentioned infinitely many times by foreign sources. They were not persuaded to highlight how much she had done for the permanent abolition of the law of fratricide and that she had also stood up against her own son in favor of her foster sons. In addition, we are left with an event of much lesser significance that, regardless of its significance, gives us an insight into Turhan’s personality. The French ambassador reports that Turhan once went to Edirne with a huge escort, with her foster sons and part of the harem. When they reached a bridge, one of the ambassador's men was just there and saw that the door of Turhan's carriage was open. The man threw himself on the ground in fright, lest he be accused of trying to see the Valide Sultan. However, as he was throwing himself to the ground, his gaze collided with the eyes of the veiled Valide Sultan. Turhan then stopped the car and said to the man, "Don't be afraid, son," and gave him 160 aspers.

Last years

In 1681 Turhan's health gradually began to deteriorate. Ambassadors write as "her condition has greatly deteriorated and there is no hope of treatment." We don’t know exactly what Turhan’s illness was. She finally died in 1683 in her late 50s, in Edirne. Since Turhan had stipulated that she wanted to be buried in her own mosque complex, her body was transported to Istanbul. Along the way, the coffin was surrounded by ice day and night to protect the body. Alongside the caravan carrying the coffin of the Valide Sultan, the people cry out loud and the whole empire mourned. According to descriptions, people sobbed and said that the strongest pillar of the state had left the Empire. Turhan was eventually buried in her own complex. Her tomb is one of the largest and most classy of all, indicating that it was built in honor of a powerful Valide Sultan. Her son and several descendants were later buried here. With her death, she became the longest-serving Valide Sultan ever, with 34 years of reign.

Turhan is one of the most misunderstood characters in the Sultanate of Women. Most see her as a violent, willful, and power-hungry woman, blamed for the death of Kösem Sultan, even though Turhan was not like that. She was a mother who was forced to raise her son alongside a crazy, dangerous father; she was a woman who never received love and respect from her child’s father; still she became a powerful woman who always helped the fallen; the only one in the Sultanate of Women with whom her son shared his power equally and who, nevertheless, never tried to exaggerate or control her son. With the death of Turhan Mehmed IV's reign was also sealed. The sultan's reign and recognition were largely due to the character and presence of his mother. As Turhan was no more, Mehmed’s popularity declined, he made more and more bad political decisions. As a result, in 1687, after a rebellion, he handed over the throne to his half-brother, who could survive largely by the grace of Turhan.

Used sources: A. D. Alderson - The Structure of the Ottoman Dynasty; L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; M. Ç. Uluçay - Padişahların Kadınları ve Kızları; C. Finkel - Osman's Dream: The Story of the Ottoman Empire; G. Börekçi - Factions and favourites at the courts of Sultan Ahmed I (r. 1603-17) and his immediate predecessors; S. Faroqhi - The Ottoman Empire and the World; C. Imber - The Ottoman Empire 1300-1650; G. Piterberg - An Ottoman Tragedy, History and Historiography at Play; F. Suraiya - The Cambridge History of Turkey, The Later Ottoman Empire, 1603–1839; Howard - A History of the Ottoman Empire; Öztuna - Devletler ve Hanedanlar; F. Davis - The Palace of Topkapi in Istanbul; Y. Öztuna - Genç Osman ve IV. Murad; G. Junne - The black eunuchs of the Ottoman Empire; R. Dankoff - An Ottoman Mentality: The World of Evliya Çelebi; R. Murphey - ‘The Functioning of the Ottoman Army under Murad IV (1623–1639/1032–1049):Key to Understanding of the Relationship Between Center and Periphery; M. Özgüleş - The women who built the Ottoman Empire: Female Patronage and the Architectural Legacy of Gülnüş Sultan

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Származása és neveltetése

Turhan Hatice orosz származású szláv nő volt, aki 1627 körül született. A tatárok ragadták el szülőföldjéről, az orosz sztyeppékről, így került gyermekként Isztambulba, az 1630-as évek második felében. Itt a sok rabszolga közül viszonylag szerencsés sors jutott neki, ugyanis egy született szultána, Burnaz Atike szolgálatába került. Valószínűleg egy pasa vásárolta meg a lányt rabszolgakereskedőktől és ő ajándékozta Atike szolgálatába. Turhan külsejéről annyi információnk van, hogy kék szeme volt, barna haja és az átlaghoz képest magas volt.

Atike szultána, aki I. Ahmed lánya volt, felfigyelt a lány szépségére és tehetségére, így kiemelt figyelmet fordított oktatására. Kettejük későbbi kapcsolata alapján sejthetjük, hogy Atike igen jól bánt a lánnyal és gyakorlatilag egy nagyon szoros, testvéries kapcsolat alakult ki a két nő között. Atike szultána szinte anyafigura volt Turhan gyermeke számára is, ami egyértelműsíti, hogy a két nő viszonya igen szoros maradt egész életükben. Turhant, magasrangú oktatása alkalmassá tette arra, hogy Atike egyenesen öccsének, az új szultánnak I. Ibrahimnak ajándékozza trónralépése után. Mások szerint Atike Köszem szultánának ajándékozta a lányt és végül ő mutatta be Ibrahimnak.

Élete Ibrahim mellett

Nem tudjuk, hogy Ibrahim ágyasai között milyen sorrendiség állt fenn, feltehetőleg a három legidősebb gyermek édesanyja, Turhan Hatice, Hatice Muazzez és Saliha Dilaşub nagyjából egyszerre lettek Ibrahim ágyasai. Turhan volt azonban az első, aki teherbe esett és fiúnak adott életet 1642 januárjában. Azt gondolnánk, hogy a trónörökös anyjaként különösen nagy tisztelet kapott és kiemelt hatalommal bírt. Azonban egyik sem igaz. Ibrahim és Turhan kapcsolata hamarosan nagyon megromlott. Hatalmat pedig Ibrahim ágyasai nem igazán tudtak szerezni maguknak, anyósuk, Köszem szultána miatt. Turhan Haticének valószínűleg Mehmed után nemsokkal született még egy lánya, Atike szultána, azonban valószínűleg nem volt több közös gyermekük. Ez nem is meglepő, hiszen 1645 előtt valamikor volt egy nyílt konfliktus Turhan és Ibrahim között, mely után Turhan és fia is háttérbe szorultak a háremben.

Mehmed herceg szoptatósdajkája és annak fia ugyanis nagyon megtetszettek a szultánnak, aki állandóan a dajka fiát, Oszmánt babusgatta, saját fiát, Mehmedet pedig csúnya kisbabának tartotta, eltaszította magától. Az, hogy egy rabszolga fiát sajátjaként neveli hatalmas anomáliát okozott a háremben és rengeteg pletykát indított útjára. Turhan nem tűrhette fia, a trónörökös megalázását ezért egyesek szerint kérdőrevonta Ibrahimot. Mások szerint a szoptatósdajkát küldte el szolgálatából, aki pedig elpanaszolta Turhan viselkedését a szultánnak. Akárhogyan is, Ibrahim szultán éktelen haragra gerjedt és dühét Mehmeden vezette le. Hatalmas jelenetet rendezett, majd kitépte Mehmed herceget édesanyja karjából és egy ciszternába hajította. A gyermek súlyos fejsérüléseket szenvedett, de maradandó károsodás nélkül túlélte az esetet, miután a körülöttük lévő szolgálók azonnal megmentésére siettek. Mehmed homlokán élete végéig ott volt az ekkor szerzett sebhely.

A következő évek a rettegésről és megalázásról szóltak, hiszen Ibrahim egyre őrültebb lett, egyre többször követett el megmagyarázhatatlan dolgokat, ráadásul feleségül vette egyik fiatal ágyasát, akit ezzel mindenki fölé emelt. Köszem szultána és követői egy ponton megpróbálták trónfosztani az őrült szultánt, hogy helyére fiát, Mehmedet ültessék, azonban nem jártak sikerrel. Rengeteg fej hullott porba, Köszemet magát is száműzték. Nem tudjuk, Turhan hogyan élte meg ezt az időszakot, de figyelembe véve az eseményeket, valószínűleg rengeteget aggódhatott fia életéért. Turhan és Mehmed között nagyon szoros volt a kapcsolat, talán az egyik legszorosabb a Nők szultánátusának időszakából. Ez az erős kapocs is talán a közös szenvedésben és hányattatott időszakban formálódott.

A feltámadó remény

1648 augusztusában végül a janicsárok és Köszem szultána trónfosztották Ibrahimot és elzárták. Hamarosan az államférfiak a palotához sereglettek, hogy elvigyék Mehmed herceget a janicsár mecsetbe, hogy ott szultánjukká kiáltsák ki. Köszem szultána ezt nem engedte, nem adta át unokáját. Órákon át vitatkozott az államférfiakkal, mielőtt végül megegyeztek volna, hogy Mehmed herceget a palotán belül kiáltják ki szultánná, ahogy ezt a hagyományok is megkövetelik. Turhan végre biztonságban tudhatta fiát, azt gondolhatta, minden rendben lesz, ám nem így történt.

Az államférfiak felkérték Köszem szultánát, hogy legyen ő a régens IV. Mehmed mellett, mert úgy gondolták, Mehmed édesanyja maga még túl fiatal ehhez a szerephez. Az államférfiak azt várták Köszemtől, hogy felkészíti Turhant és Mehmedet a rájuk váró feladatra, Köszem azonban máshogy gondolta. Maga kívánta vezetni a birodalmat, egyeduralkodóként. Ennek oka feltételezhetően Ibrahim kivégzése volt. Az államférfiak ugyanis úgy tűnik, Köszem beleegyezése és tudta nélkül végeztették ki a volt szultánt. Köszem ezért pedig nem volt hajlandó együtt dolgozni az államférfiakkal és az eseményekből arra is következtethetünk, hogy Turhant is hibáztatta.

Köszem Turhant teljesen kizárta a politikai életből, ám ami még nagyobb probléma volt, hogy Mehmedet is. Emellett a háremben sem hagyta, hogy Turhan jogos Valide szultána szerepében tevékenykedhessen. Köszem például nem engedte, hogy Ibrahim többi gyermekének anyját elküldjék a palotából - kivéve Telli Hümaşaht -, amivel Turhan szerepét tovább degradálta. Emellett nem adta meg Turhannak a Valide szultánák 3000 asperes fizetését, csupán 2000 aspert kapott naponta, míg Köszem maga napi 3000 aspert kapott, mintha ő lenne a valide szultána. Azt elfogadhatjuk, hogy a tapasztalt Köszem nem akarta a tapasztalatlan, általa alkalmatlannak ítélt Turhant a politika színterének közelébe engedni, azonban az tagadhatatlan, hogy Turhannak joga volt a hárem irányításához. Köszem azonban ezt megtagadta tőle.

Turhan ekkor elkezdett kiállni magáért és a főeunuch Uzun Szulejmán Aga támogatásával létrehozta saját háremszemélyzetét és önkényesen elkezdett irányítani. Ugyanakkor természetesen Köszem sem hagyta annyiban a dolgot és saját embereiből ő is rendelkezett háremszemélyzettel. A harc vége az lett, hogy a háremben káosz uralkodott, az emberek nem tudták, hogy mely vezetők szavára hallgassanak, kinek engedelmeskedjenek. A hárem így ketté szakadt, egyesek a "nagy valide szultánát", Köszemet szolgálták, míg másik a "kis valide szultánát", Turhant. Kétségtelen, hogy Turhan bizonyos szempontból előnyösebb helyzetben volt, mert a legbefolyásosabb eunuch, Szulejmán az ő oldalán állt.

A lázadó

Sok a legenda és félinformáció az 1651-es évről. Annyi bizonyos, hogy Köszem egyeduralma senkinek sem tetszett. Idővel az összes államférfi Köszem ellen fordult és el akarták őt távolítani a hatalom közeléből. Köszem egyetlen támasza a janicsárok néhány hadteste volt, akiknek bármi történt is, élvezhette a támogatását. Köszemnek nem lévén embere a divánban, Turhan előnybe került. Turhan ugyanis Szulejmán Aga segítségével kapcsolatba kerülhetett az államférfiakkal és néhányuk támogatását azonnal megszerezte. A legendák úgy tartják, hogy Turhan maga fogta közre a Köszem ellen lévő pasákat és őket irányítva kelt fel Köszem ellen. Gyakorlatilag azonban nem áll rendelekzésünkre kellő bizonyíték erre. Azt sem zárhatjuk ki, hogy nem Turhan használta a pasákat Köszem ellen, hanem a pasák használták Turhant. Akárhogy is, közös volt a céljuk, megszabadulni Köszemtől.

Turhannak ekkor már nem csak az volt a gondja Köszemmel, hogy a háremen belül megalázta. Olyan információk keltek szárnyra, melyek szerint Köszem szultána trónfosztani kívánta Mehmedet és helyére Saliha Dilaşub fiát, Szulejmánt akarta ültetni. Ez egyet jelentett volna Mehmed elzárásával és halálával. Hiszen Ibrahim kivégzésekor is arra hivatkoztak, hogy ha már van egy szultán (Mehmed), akkor a másik szultán (Ibrahim) léte okafogyottá vált. Mások szerint Köszem sosem akart ilyet tenni, csak a pasák hiteték el Turhannal. Azt sem zárhatjuk ki, hogy maga Turhan találta ki ezt, hogy legitimizálja Köszem eltávolítását.

Köszem szultánát végül egy puccs során 1651 szeptemberében megfojtották és a hatalom Turhan Haticére szállt. Turhan szerepe az eseményekben a mai napig kérdéses. Nem kívánok részletesen belemenni az eseményekbe, mert ez önmagában megér egykülön posztot. Hamarosan készül tehát egy poszt, ahol a Köszem meggyilkolása körüli eseményekről tudott információkat egy csokorba fogom fűzni. Mindenesetre a pasák és Turhan képesek voltak úgy csűrni-csavarni az eseményeket, hogy a Köszemet támogató janicsárok legyenek bűnbaknak kiáltva, ők pedig csendben megszervezték Köszem temetését.

A régóta várt szerep?

Fia ifjúkorára való tekintettel Turhan Hatice lett a régens, mindössze 25 évesen. Minden fontos gyűlésre elkísérte fiát és függöny mögül követte az eseményeket. Nem egyszer igen bölcsen fel is szólalt, melyekr��l leírás is fennmaradt. Egyszer Gürcü Mehmed Pasa elutasította, hogy kövesse a Turhan által kinevezett Mesud Efendi javaslatait. Gürcü Mehmed Pasa követelte, hogy az ő szavait fogadják el, hiszen mint mondta, szakálla is az állam szolgálatában fehéredett meg. Turhan erre úgy válaszolt, hogy: "Igazán Pasám? Fehér szakáll vagy fekete szakáll, nem ez a lényeg. Az igazság és a jó megoldás nem kor vagy szakáll-szín függvénye, hanem intelligenciáé. Bármit is mond Mesud Efendi, tégy annak megfelelően, hallgass rá és mindent beszélj meg vele. Figyelmeztetek, semmit ne tegyél Mesud Efendi szavai ellen." Turhan divanon belüli fellépése jól mutatja, hogy fiatalkora miatt sokan nem vették komolyan, ő viszont mindent megtett, hogy foganatosítsa szavait.

Bár kifelé igyekezett erős lenni, Turhan azonban sosem akart mindent maga intézni, leveleiből tudjuk, hogy sok fontos esemény előtt kérteki az általa nagyra tartott személyek véleményét arról, hogy hogyan kellene eljárjon. Ezekből a segítségkérésekből egyértelművé válik, hogy Turhan igen hagyománytisztelő nő volt, aki szerette, ha megmaradnak a formalitások, ahogy az illendő. Emellett az is kitűnik leveleiből, hogy legtöbbször pontosan tisztában volt azzal, hogy mit kellene tennie, egyszerűen csak megerősítésre vágyott, mielőtt lépéseket tett volna. Ezek az apróságok jól sejtetik, hogy a világ által Turhanról festett kegyetlen és hataloméhes nő képe talán nem valós.

Másik eset, amely jól mutajta Turhan személyiségét és politikai hozzállását az volt, mikor a Krími kán elhunyt. Turhan ekkor levelet írt a nagyvezírnek: “Egy kardot és ruhát kértél tőlem az új kán tiszteletére. Azonban abból, amit hallottam úgy tűnik, hogy inkább az a szokás, hogy a tatár kán küld ajándékot a szultánnak, miután elfoglalja a trónt. Igaz, személyesen sosem tapasztaltam ilyesmit, mégis ezt hallottam. Ezért beszélj a megfelelő tudósokkal, kérd ki a véleményüket és tégy javaslatuk szerint." Ez az eset iválóan mutatja, hogy Turhan jól ismerte az etikettet, mégsem akarta erre alapozva megmondani, hogy mit tegyenek az államférfiak. Inkább rávezette őket, hogy talán nincs igazuk és egy külső forrásból szerzett megerősítést saját szavainak. Ez alapján Turhan okos de konfliktuskerülő személy benyomását kelti, aki bár magasabb pozícióban volt, mint bárki más körülötte (kivéve fiát), mégsem utasított, hanem kért. Ismert persze olyan eset is, mikor hatalmát kihasználva szidott le egy nagyvezírt, miután az hibát követett el. A vezír nem intézett kellő mennyiségű fát a Régi Palota számára. Ekkor ezt írta Turhan: "Nincs annyi fa sem a Régi Palotában, hogy levest tudjanak főzni! Mi erre a magyarázat pasám? Az talán nem egy birodalmi palota?". Turhan tehát egyáltalán nem volt muja, ha szükséges volt hangot adott elégedetlenségének és vasszigorral is képes volt rendben tartani a pasákat, ha arra volt szükség.

Turhan régensségének legnagyobb feladata az alkalmas nagyvezír megtalálása volt. A geopolitikai helyzet változása miatt az 1650-es évek eleje nagyon kaotikus volt, a nagyvezírek pedig egymást váltották, mert egyikük sem volt alkalmas a feladatra. Sokan Turhant hibáztatják a gazdasági és politikai bizonytalanság miatt, azonban ez nem igaz. Turhan igyekezett a legalkalmasabb államférfiakat megtalálni, ám nem volt túl bőséges a választék megfelelő személyekből. Turhan végül 1656-ban hatalmas kockázatot vállalva oldotta meg a krízist. Köprülü Mehmed Pasa rendkívül népszerűtlen, kevés támogatóval rendelkező, de zseniális elmével megáldott pasa volt, nehéz természettel. Turhan úgy gondolta, hogy a pasa segítségével képesek lesznek kitörni a káoszból. Köprülü is jól tudta azonban, hogy mennyire kockázatos a pozíció elvállalása, ezért volt egy kikötése. Csak akkor vállalta el a pozíciót ha relatíve szabadkezet kap és senki nem szól bele döntéseibe. A gyakorlatban ez természetesen nem azt jelentette, hogy nem számol be arról, hogy mit fog csinálni, hanem inkább azt jelentette, hogy átveszi a régensi feladatokat. Turhannal és az egyre idősödő Mehmeddel végig konzultált és jóváhagyásukkal cselekedett.

A nagytiszteletű valide szultána

Nem tudjuk, hogy Turhan mit érzett és mit gondolt a régensség végével. Az események azonban arra utalnak, hogy szívesebben végezte a valide szultána feladatait, mint a régensi feladatokat. Fiát továbbra is mindenben támogatta, különös figyelmet fordított oktatására és Köprülüvel is rendszeresen egyeztetett, tehát a közhiedelemmel ellentétben, nem vonult vissza teljesen a politikától. A politika és a hárem igazgatása mellett végre volt ideje, hogy belekezdjen jótékonykodásába és hatalmas építészeti projektjeibe. Első építkezési projektjét még 1652/3-ban csinálta, ám ez csupán egy kút volt Beşiktaş-ban. Első valódi jelentőséggel bíró projektjét 1658-ban kezdte meg, ekkor a Dardanellákon létesített két erődöt. Ez az erőd igen fontos volt katonai szempontból, hiszen általa védhetővé vált a szoros. Mind Turhan mind Mehmed népszerűségét megnövelte ez a projekt. Ezt hamarosan a méltán híres Új Mecset építtetése követte. A komplexumot még Safiye szultána kezdte el építeni az 1500-as évek végén, azonban hatalma elvesztésével a projekt félbemaradt, aztán több tűzvész is pusztított a környezetében, így szinte teljesen megsemmisült. Ezt kezdte tehát Turhan Hatice újra. 1665-re a komplexum elkészült, mecset, iskola, kút, könyvtár és piac (ma Fűszerbazárként ismerjük) is találhatóak voltak benne. A komplexum után Turhan több kisebb projektbe is belefogott, egyik volt például egy vízhálózat kiépítése, mely segítette a Mekkába zarándokoló emberek vízhez jutását. Emellett több újonnan elfoglalt/visszafoglalt terület templomait is mecsetté alakították és Turhan Hatice nevét adták nekik.

Építkezéseivel, jótékonykodásával és a relatíve békés időszakkal Turhan a nép kedvencévé vált. Az emberek szerették és tisztelték őt, akárcsak fia. Mehmed eddigre felnőtt annyira, hogy maga kezdhessen uralkodni, ám továbbra is mindenben kikérte anyja véleményét és egyenlő társának tekintette mind az életben, mind az uralkodásban. Mehmedet nem foglalkoztatta a politika, ezt általában inkább a nagyevezírre és édesanyjára hagyta. Nem véletlenül vélte úgy a nép, hogy a birodalom két oszlopa nem más, mint Köprülü és Turhan. Turhan és Mehmed kapcsolatát mai napig az egyik legszorosabb anya-fiú viszonynak tekintik az Oszmán Birodalom történetében. Turhan sosem akarta túlragyogni fiát, sosem irányította vagy szólt bele a magánéletébe. Pedig lett volna rá lehetősége, hiszen Mehmed életében hamarosan felbukkant egy rivális.

A valide szultána és egy befolyásos ágyas együttes jelenléte nem hozott sok jót a korábbi évtizedekben, így azt várhatnánk, hogy nem volt ez másként Turhan esetében sem. Turhan azonban elfogadta fia választottját, Emetullah Rabia Gülnüşt és igyekezett tiszteletteljes kapcsolatot ápolni a nővel. Sosem próbálta korlátozni Emetullah befolyását még a politikai színtéren sem. Emetullah pedig ezt hasonlóan tiszteletteljes viselkedéssel hálálta meg anyósának. Egyetlen eset ismert, mikor Turhan szembeszállt Emetullah Rabia Gülnüşsel. Emetullah fiai érdekében szerette volna, hogy Mehmed megölesse féltestvéreit, akik már évek óta elzárva éltek és igyekezett erre rábeszélni a szultánt. A szultán talán maga is hajlott erre, azonban Turhan erőteljes fellépése megakadályozta Szulejmán és Ahmed hercegek kivégzését.

Turhan nevelt fiaival is szoros kapcsolatot ápolt és innentől kezdve sosem hagyta őket magukra. Tartva attól, hogy Emetullah végül célt ér, Turhan mindenhová magával vitte a két herceget, ha elhagyta a fővárost. Turhan emellett hasonlóan közel állhatott egyik nevelt lányához, Fatmához. Mivel Fatmát Turhan komplexumában temették el, sokan úgy vélik, hogy Fatma Turhan lánya volt, azonban ez nem valószínű. Fatma feltehetőleg elárvult és ezekután Turhan és Atike szultána viselte gondját. Így amikor a lány tizenhét évesen elhunyt, Turhan úgy gondoskodott a temetéséről, mintha a saját lánya lett volna.

Turhan nagylelkűségét a külföldi források is végtelen sokszor emlegetik. Nem győzték kiemelni, hogy mennyit tett a testvérgyilkosság törvényének végleges eltörléséért, és, hogy saját fiával szemben is kiállt nevelt fiai mellett. Emellett egy sokkal kisebb jelentőségű esemény is ránk maradt, amely jelentőségétől függetlenül betekintést enged Turhan személyiségébe. A francia követ számol be arról, hogy Turhan egyszer Edirnébe tartott hatalmas kísérettel, nevelt fiaival és a hárem egy részével. Amikor egy hídhoz értek a követ egyik embere épp ott volt és ijedten látta, hogy Turhan kocsijának ajtaja nyitva van. A férfi ijedten vetette a földre magát, nehogy azzal vádolják, hogy megpróbálta meglesni a Valide szultánát. Lehasalása közben azonban tekintete összeakadt a Valide szultána elfátyolozott arcából kilátszódó szemeivel. Turhan ekkor megállíttatta a kocsit és kiszól a férfinak: "Ne félj fiam" és 160 aspert adott neki.

Utolsó évei

Turhan egészsége 1681-ben fokozatosan romlásnak indult. Követek úgy írnak róla, hogy "állapota nagyon leromlott és nincs remény kezelésre". Nem tudjuk, hogy pontosan mi volt Turhan betegsége. Végül 1683-ban hunyt el Edirnében. Mivel Turhan kikötötte, hogy saját mecsetkompelxumában akarja, hogy eltemessék, testét Isztambulba szállították. Az út során a koporsót jéggel vették körbe éjjel, nappal, hogy óvják a testét. A valide szultána koporsóját szállító karaván mellett a nép lerótta tiszteletét, és halálakor az egész birodalom gyászba borult. Leírások alapján az emberek zokogtak és azt mondogatták, hogy az állam legerősebb pillére távozott az élők sorából. Turhant végül saját komplexumában temették el. Türbéje az egyik legnagyobb és legnívósabb mind közül, jelezve, hogy egy nagyhatalmú valide tiszteletére épült. Később fiát és több leszármazottját is ide temették el. Halálával ő lett a valaha volt leghosszabb ideig uralkodó valide szultána, 34 évnyi valideséggel.

Turhan az egyik legfélreismertebb karaktere a Nők szultánátusának. A legtöbben erőszakos, akaratos és hataloméhes nőt látnak benne, őt hibáztatják Köszem szultána haláláért, pedig Turhan nem ilyen volt. Egy anya volt, aki kénytelen volt fiát egy őrült, veszélyes apa mellett nevelni; egy nő volt, aki sosem kapott szeretetet és megbecsülést gyermekének apjától; egy nagyhatalmú asszony lett, aki mindig segített az elesetteken; az egyetlen a Nők szultánátusában, akivel fia egyenlően osztotta meg hatalmát és aki ettől függetlenül sosem próbálta meg túlragyogni vagy irányítani fiát. Turhan halálával IV. Mehmed uralkodása is megpecsételődött. A szultán uralkodását és elismertségét nagyrészt édesanyja jellemének és jelenlétének köszönhette. Amint Turhan nem volt többé, Mehmed népszerűsége csökkent, egyre több rossz politikai döntést hozott meg. Ennek eredményeképp 1687-ben egy lázadás követően átadta a trónr féltestvérének, aki nagyrészt Turhan kegyéből maradhatott életben.

Felhasznált források: A. D. Alderson - The Structure of the Ottoman Dynasty; L. Peirce - The Imperial Harem: Women and Sovereignty in the Ottoman Empire; N. Sakaoğlu - Bu Mülkün Kadın Sultanları; M. Ç. Uluçay - Padişahların Kadınları ve Kızları; C. Finkel - Osman's Dream: The Story of the Ottoman Empire; G. Börekçi - Factions and favourites at the courts of Sultan Ahmed I (r. 1603-17) and his immediate predecessors; S. Faroqhi - The Ottoman Empire and the World; C. Imber - The Ottoman Empire 1300-1650; G. Piterberg - An Ottoman Tragedy, History and Historiography at Play; F. Suraiya - The Cambridge History of Turkey, The Later Ottoman Empire, 1603–1839; Howard - A History of the Ottoman Empire; Öztuna - Devletler ve Hanedanlar; F. Davis - The Palace of Topkapi in Istanbul; Y. Öztuna - Genç Osman ve IV. Murad; G. Junne - The black eunuchs of the Ottoman Empire; R. Dankoff - An Ottoman Mentality: The World of Evliya Çelebi; R. Murphey - ‘The Functioning of the Ottoman Army under Murad IV (1623–1639/1032–1049):Key to Understanding of the Relationship Between Center and Periphery; M. Özgüleş - The women who built the Ottoman Empire: Female Patronage and the Architectural Legacy of Gülnüş Sultan

[janeykath318]

The Beard Effect (Shieldshock)

Getting invited to the super secret Avengers lair was a pretty big deal to a former “science minion.” The Accords had split the Avengers in half and those who had joined Steve Rogers in refusing to sign it were basically fugitives. It angered Darcy that the people who’d saved earth multiple times were being treated like criminals, just so the government had convenient scapegoats. 

Jane and Darcy were both vocal opponents of the Accords because of the gross human rights violations and as a result, a lot of opportunities suddenly disappeared. 

Jane went about muttering how she planned to portal Ross’s ass into outer space and Darcy was fully on board with that plan. 

Unfortunately, before any portalling could happen, they ended up getting kidnapped again. This wasn’t their first rodeo and they managed to overcome the thugs and hijack their van, but it broke down in the middle of nowhere and the two of them were left stranded, with no way to call for help. 

“What’ll we do now?” Jane asked

“Start walking,” Darcy suggested. “There’s bound to be some kind of civilization around here.”

Jane looked skeptical, but she shrugged and started walking. After an hour or so, they found a small lane that wound up and disappeared into the forest.

“That looks promising,” Jane said hopefully. “A Driveway!”

“Or the lane to a lair of villains or serial killers,” Darcy said, earning herself a glare. 

“It’s starting to get dark, Darce. I think we have to take our chances. I don’t see any other signs of habitation.” 

“True, but don’t come crying to me when an axe murderer is chasing you.” Darcy griped, but she started following the path, which turned out to be much longer than it looked.

“Don’t move!” A voice suddenly hissed from the shadows, stopping both women in their tracks.

“See? I told you!” Darcy crowed triumphantly. 

A figure emerged from the shadows, brandishing a gun, which he quickly holstered after he saw who they were.

“Darcy?”

“Clint?” Darcy exclaimed, recognizing her favorite archer and partner in crime. 

“How in the world did you get here?” Clint asked warily. “No one knows about this place.”

“Honestly, it was a complete accident,” Darcy told him. “We got kidnapped and escaped, but got stranded in the middle of nowhere and started walking, hoping to find other non-shady humans. This driveway looked promising, so here we are.” 

Clint looked very concerned and quizzed them on their captors and where they’d left the van before speaking into his comm. 

“I’ve explained the situation to Cap. He says to bring you up.”

“Steve’s here?” Darcy asked, heart doing a flutter of anticipation.

“Yep,” Clint grinned knowingly. He was well aware of the crush Darcy had on said Captain and used to tease her about it frequently. 

“Shall I tell him you send your love?”

“No!” Darcy nearly shouted, face turning pink. “Just get us safely inside.”

“Whatever you say,” Clint said with a smirk, chuckling to himself as he led them to the plain looking ranch house at the end of the lane. There was another brief discussion over the comms and then they were being ushered inside.

It was the typical plainly furnished basic safe house, but it was cluttered in a well-lived in way. Darcy recognized Wanda, Scott and Sam right away and greeted them all enthusiastically. Then Steve Rogers walked in and put a halt to all coherent thoughts. 

The man was gorgeous to begin with, but he’d let his hair get rather shaggy and—glory of glories—he’d grown a beard. He looked a bit world weary and tired, but he smiled right at her.

“Hi, Darcy, Jane.”

“Hi.” Darcy squeaked out, now doubly overcome from the smile AND the beard. She’d always had a weakness for bearded men, but Steve’s glorious specimen took that to a whole new level.

Jane took pity on her and took charge of the conversation, explaining what had happened to them and asking if they could be so kind as to tell them where they were and provide them a lift back to civilization.

“Sure we can,” Steve agreed, “but we should probably wait until morning. Natasha and Sharon are out scoping things out and we’ll soon find out more about your kidnappers. Were either of you hurt at all?”

“Only a few bruises and rope marks. Darcy and I kicked ass. They won’t mistake us for helpless scientists ever again.”

Jane spoke proudly and Darcy nodded enthusiastically. She’d wished Natasha could have seen it. 

Steve outright beamed at this, which caused Darcy to trip and go down in an embarrassed heap. She stayed on the floor, wishing a portal would appear and whisk her away. 

“Why are you like this?” Jane sighed in exasperation as she and Steve helped Darcy up.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, concern in his voice.

Mortified, Darcy couldn’t look at him and mumbled “Yeah. Just tired. Being kidnapped wears one out.”

She wanted to die. Why did she always have to make herself look like an idiot in front of him? 

Steve, being the gentleman he was, volunteered to sleep in the living room so Jane and Darcy could have a bed. Darcy tried not to think about what sleepy Steve would look like as she counted sheep that night. 

She awoke the next morning and wandered out to the kitchen to find Natasha making coffee.

“Sleep well?” The spy greeted her, green eyes appraising her.

“Yes,” Darcy managed. “Though if you have extra coffee, I could definitely use some.” 

They caught up over their caffeinated beverages and Darcy heard more of the story of how Natasha had ended up changing her mind about the Accords and joining Team Cap. 

Right in the middle of a very funny anecdote involving Clint, Sam, and Scott, the door opened and Steve entered the house, sweaty and disheveled after a morning run.

Darcy’s laughter died in her throat as she observed Steve’s damp white shirt and glistening skin, muscles very much on display. 

“Morning, Nat. Darcy,” he acknowledged, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and gulping it down.

Darcy let out a “morning!” and got the heck out of there, face burning again. She needed a cold shower and fast. She heard Natasha laughing at her, but decided she’d deal with that later. Steve was going to be the death of her. 

“Nat, do you know why Darcy hates me? She practically runs away whenever I enter a room and I don’t know what I did.”

A bewildered Steve was asking his friend this question two months later when they were settled in a new, larger, secret compound, joined by Darcy and Jane. He’d liked Darcy a lot and used to enjoy her company, but now, she could barely stand to look at him and he was rather confused and a little hurt. 

“I can’t speak for Darcy, but I don’t think it’s anything you did,” Nat assured him. “Have you tried talking to her?”

“Yes, but she always is too busy or finds a reason to escape before I can get more than one sentence out. I figured she really doesn’t want to be around me, so I let it go.”

Steve ran a hand through his hair in frustration, wondering how in the world he was going to fix this. He missed Darcy and this situation was  becoming very upsetting to him. 

“I’ll see if I can find out what’s what,” Natasha promised. “It is very unlike Darcy to leave someone in the dark if they’ve offended her.”

That very afternoon, Darcy found herself locked in a closet with none other than Steve. All the banging and yelling and swearing and angry texting at Jane and Natasha availed nothing. 

Natasha’s blunt text took the wind out of Darcy’s sails and she looked over at Steve remorsefully. They were right. She’d let her stupid crush get in the way of her friendship. 

“I could break this door down, you know,” Steve offered. 

“No need,” Darcy sighed, smiling weakly. “It’s about time I put my big girl pants on and told you what’s going on. It’s not your fault. I just am a complete disaster around guys I have a crush on and I may have a thing for the beard,” she finished, blushing like a tomato. “Which is why I could hardly say a word to you without squeaking.”

“So I didn’t hurt you?” Steve asked cautiously. 

“No. It was mostly me trying to control my wild urges to say or do totally inappropriate things to you. Face it, Steve. You’re irresistible.”

Steve gave a bashful grin. 

“I don’t know about that. But what if I told you I would be totally okay with you being “inappropriate?” Because I too must confess to having had some inappropriate thoughts.” 

“Really? About me?” Darcy asked, starting to feel very smug. 

“Definitely you,” Steve said, looking at her very intently. She blushed again and moved over close to him so she was right up in his space. 

“So Watcha gonna do about it, soldier?” She asked flirtatiously.

Steve grinned.

“Let’s start here,” he murmured right before he kissed her. 

It was better than her wildest dreams. Holy crap, the man could kiss! Knees already weak, she clutched him for dear life as the kiss deepened. 

“If I’d have known this would be the result, I’d have grown a beard a long time ago,” Steve admitted when they came up for air. “I’m crazy about you, Darcy. Have been for awhile.”

Darcy giggled against his chest. 

“You’re still plenty hot without it, but it kinda was the icing on the cake,” she told him.

Neither of them noticed when Natasha unlocked the doors. She listened for a moment, then smiled triumphantly and texted Jane that the mission was a success. Nothing was seen of either Steve or Darcy for the rest of that day. 

[manifestingdestiel]

Take Me To Church

(Long post, sorry!)

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“Hiya, Father.” Dean moves around a bit to get comfortable and thinks about what he could ‘confess’ to in order to bait the monster they were after.

“Pardon me?” The priest is confused by being addressed informally. This was surely not one of his regular church goers. Perhaps this person was new to the faith. Father Delaney looks over and it was officer Allman from before. What sins would he confess to?

“Pardon you? I thought it was the other way around.” He chuckles at his own joke, which he does because he feel out of his element. To Dean, praying was like abasement, calling out into the void… no idea if anyone is even listening. Groveling at the universe. “Just…it’s…” He clears his throat. “So, uh, I’m here to– here to clean house. I need to get some things off my chest.” Dean hadn’t planned beforehand what he would say to the priest but he new it had to be horrid enough to bait the being who had been killing the congregation. It was all unfaithful men… promiscuous… Dean knew what he could say to get the -ghost or spectre or whatever they were dealing with here- all riled up.

Father Delaney nods and prepares himself to be patient and understanding and non-judgemental. He had no clue what Dean would confess to, but he was prepared to listen and support him. “Oh. All right. Continue.”

Dean tries to make another joke to cover up his nervousness. “I’ve never done this before, so… here goes? Gosh, if I had known these benches were so stiff I would have brought a pillow or something!” He chuckles and looks at the ground, contemplating. If this goes wrong would he end up killing himself or Sam? Dean decided to cast such thoughts away. He decided he might as well just go for whatever story he could make up to make him sound as like as much of a jerk as possible. “Um…it’s the... women, Father. Where do I begin?” He chuckles.

The Father chuckles. “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” is usual.

“Right. Good. Yeah. So, uh... that, and, um… so, the women. Uh, and this is not something that I’m proud of, but I let them think that we have more of a future than we do, you know?” Dean remembers a time and reminisces for a moment. “Ah, Gina…” He smiles slightly, and then sighs.

“Gina?” Dean’s attention is brought back to the Priest. Right, he had a job to do. Might as well sell it like he did the neighborhood watch persona. He took a deep breath and looked around in the confessional to see if he could spot any peeping toms or listening ears. Dean didn’t quite feel comfortable revealing anything true about himself, especially since he knew someone would be listening.

“Well, now, don’t get me wrong. I mean, she was – it was good times. I mean, you know how it is – the sex, the lasagna – but I was not honest with her. And sometimes, I was seeing two, maybe three girls at the same time, sometimes in the same day. Haha, you get the picture. And it wasn’t just Gina. It was endless. It’s making me sick…”

Now there was some truth to that last line. His sleeping around has resulted in nothing good. Ben might have been, maybe is his son. Sam had to kill his Amazonian daughter. All it did was temporarily fill the void, just to leave it empty again. At least he felt something different. Something that wasn’t the guilt, pain, resent, and confusion that he walked with everyday. But, he wouldn’t be able to tell Sam any of this. It wasn’t because he wouldn’t understand. It was really because he had to keep up the image of invincible big brother, it was because he wouldn’t know where to begin with how to express himself. There’s so many emotions he doesn’t know how to describe, so many he suppresses… There’s so much inside of him that he feels. Some days he doesn’t think twice about it and other days it’s all he can think about. Each day it gets a little bit harder for Dean and he knows it. He doesn’t want to admit it but he knows it. Dean can’t believe he’s getting emotional with a near stranger. He blinks away a few would-be tears and takes a deep breath.

The Priest looks over at him concerned and then nods slowly. “And you wish to be forgiven, my son?”

Dean clears his throat and remembers to keep up with his performance. He has a job to do. “I do. I-I need to clean up my act…” He smiles, a transparent facade.

Father Delaney examines Dean and sees the anguish within his micro expressions. He wouldn’t pry, for sake of privacy but he did want to be sure and help Dean in any way he could. “As penance, you shall say five ‘Hail Mary’s’ two ‘Our Father’s ’, and reflect on your transgressions.”

“And then, that’s it? then I’m good to go?”

“Well… One would hope some inner exploration might occur. The prayers are just the beginning to some serious soul-searching.”

“Hmm… You done any soul searching yourself, Father?” Dean begins to wonder if perhaps he should suspect the priest.

“That, I have. I continue to do what I can, when I can. We all have our crosses to bear, agent. But it doesn’t mean we are alone. There will be peace when we are done.”

Dean is lost in thought for a moment, reliving all of the recent events, and some of the past ones. Was peace in the cards for Dean? He thought he deserved less.

Father Delaney sighs and looks ahead, thinking that perhaps if he didn’t look at him, then Dean would feel more comfortable and less like he’s being held on trial. “Is there anything else on your mind, Agent Allman?”

Dean chuckles, using laughter to mask his fear and anxiety; his weariness and his frustrations. “I don’t know…” Dean looks over at the priest and sighs. “There’s a lot of things I got on my plate… with the job, you know. It’s bloody. Messy. I have seen things that you wouldn’t believe...“ Dean looks down. “I just…”

“It’s alright, son, take your time.” He reassured Dean.

“What if I said I…I didn’t want to die…yet, you know, that I wasn’t ready?”

The Father asks a question. “Are you expecting to?”

“Always. You know, the life I live, the work I do…I pretty much just figured that that was all there was to me, you know? Tear around and jam the key in the ignition and haul ass until I ran out of gas. I guess I just thought sooner or later, I’d go out the same way that I live – pedal to the metal, and that would be it.” There’s a tense tightness in his chest as he says this. He thought that all he was worth was worth. Canon fodder. Soldier. Scapegoat. He thought he would die bloody and that would be it.

The Father noticed Dean spoke in past tense which led to another question. “But now?”

“Now, um… recent events, uh… make me think I might be closer to that than I really thought. And…I don’t know. It- It’s terrifying. I mean, you know, there’s still so much I feel I have left to do. There’s things I want to do, places I want to see... There’s… people in my life I want to spend more time with….” Dean pauses for a while after that.

“Unfinished business? Well you should tell those people how you feel. Tell them you appreciate them. Tell them you love them. Lots of people regret not doing that before it was too late. And I certainly hope it’s not too late for you, my son.”

Dean nods slowly. “There’s all these new feelings that I-I-I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time…”

The priest smiles slightly. “I see…” He looks over at Dean and nods. “They…” He paused for emphasis, must be very special to you. “ Dean nods and his heart feels heavy. “Go a little deeper, perhaps… than with ‘Gina’s. Explore yourself some more.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m just starting to think that… maybe there’s more to it all than I thought. I used to operate in a small little,” he glances and The Father and chuckles, “department, you could say. Same old rodeo everyday, and on Thursdays we have pie.” He smiles. “But now there’s a whole lot more out there. I learn a bit more every day. I always thought it would just be black and white, you know? Simple job. Catch the baddie, go home. But now a whole wide world has opened up, and… maybe it’s not all junk…” Dean clears his throat. “I just mean to say, that after a certain encounter a few years back, things have changed. Everything. It made me realize some things…”

Father Delaney nods. “Learning there’s more to the universe than your tiny world can be a frightening discovery. Especially when it prompts you to rediscover parts of yourself...” The Priest looks over at Dean. “Do you truly believe in God, Agent? Because that can be a comfort.”

Dean sighs. “I believe there is a God. But I’m not sure he still believes in us.” He falters, and then clears his throat.

“It’s okay to have doubts. We all have them. You just have to find your truth and what you believe for yourself. I believe we are all God’s children, Agent Allman. That there are angels above watching over us. I believe that no matter what happens, we will be where we need to be, when we need to be there. It will all work itself out. Have faith and you shall see.”

“Faith, trust and pixie dust. Got it.” Dean smiles and waits for a bit before standing. “Thanks Padre.”

Dean walks out of the confessional feeling lighter. He had forgotten he and Sam were working a job, and he shuddered. It was time to get back to work. He tucked away his vulnerability once again.

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There’s a little headcanon of mine 😌 This is what happened in my version of spn, so to speak. 😁 this is what I think took Dean so long. Hope you enjoyed 😝

(Edited)

[ohmygarlands]

Just a Memory

Gene’s body moved fluidly, rocking back and forth over his wife as they made love. The warm light on the bedside table illuminated Betsy beautifully, and he couldn’t help but keep his eyes on hers. It had been weeks since they were intimate. Gene enlisted in the Naval Air Service and was stationed in D.C. He would come home on a pass when he could depending on whether or not he was needed. In many ways, the time apart wound up strengthening his relationship with Betsy. They had hit troubled waters a while back when Judy had entered their lives:

While filming For Me & My Gal, it was widely speculated among gossip columns - which didn’t take long to reach the people they knew -  that Judy and Gene shared more than just a close friendship. Their affair did indeed go on both during and for a little while after filming. The love they shared, however, was real and for many reasons, it scared both of them to death. Both were married, and Gene had a new baby at home. He loved Betsy, and always had but there was something different about Judy. Judy aroused not only his body but his soul. She could keep him in a trance whenever they were together, one that would linger for hours after she had left. It brought him to his knees when he had to make the decision to take the moral high ground, parting ways with Judy to focus on his family. Begrudgingly, Judy let him off the end of her line. While Gene’s marriage was thriving, however, hers had faded to dust. It wasn’t long after that that her and David separated, and she found herself single and in the snakepit of Hollywood.

Though Gene’s marriage was thriving, it was no easy path. One does not simply move on from Judy Garland. Her memory lingered in his mind, her voice would come through his car radio every night on his drive home from the studio, they were busy on opposite ends of the lot shooting two different films yet would somehow always manage to stop by the commissary at the exact same time. It was as though he was drawn to her like a magnet, like there was some kind of invisible string attaching them both at the waist and no matter how many times he tried to cut it, it wouldn’t break.

It took enlisting in the Naval Air Service for the pain of missing her to finally subside. Even then, it was still there, it just became easier to deal with. His mind was elsewhere and he began missing Betsy more and more, every day that he was away. The love letters he once used to exchange with Judy, he was now exchanging with his wife. Her letters were the highlight of his day, he craved to hear how Kerry was getting along and Betsy never failed to include photos.

His body buckled on top of hers and he leaned down, placing a soft kiss against her cheek.

“Alright, that settles it… you’re staying in D.C. indefinitely,” Betsy panted with a sly smile.

“What do you mean?” He rolled off of her, pulling a cigarette off the nightstand.

“The way you make love when you’re home on a pass, I’ve been married to you for years, I’ve never felt anything like it,” she grinned.

Gene laughed, taking a drag from his cigarette before turning his expression serious, “There are no women there, Bets… I only have men to look at, day in and day out, you’ll be lucky if we leave this bed all weekend.”

“Good,” she softly smiled, dragging her arm over his waist and cuddling into his chest, “except…” she began.

“What?” He asked, blowing another cloud of smoke from his lips.

“There’s… a chance I may have… accidentally… on purpose… told everybody you were home this weekend,” she bit her thumbnail.

Gene sighed, “Where are we going?” He rolled his eyes playfully.

“A bunch of your pals from the studio are going out to Ciro’s tomorrow night, I told them we’d be there to have a drink and a few laughs.”

“That doesn’t sound too terrible,” he smiled.

“They’re very excited to see you.”

Gene’s curiosity peaked, he stubbed out his cigarette before scooching back down on the bed, “who’s ‘they’?”

“Oh, you know, everybody… Pete, Frank, Phil…”

“I see,” he lowered his eyes, “Well, it’s a date then. I guess I’ll make an exception for them,” he grinned, rolling over and kissing her passionately.

The next evening, once Kerry was settled with the babysitter, Gene and Betsy made a swift exit, heading towards Beverly Hills. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel and one holding her fingers between his. Betsy couldn’t help but smile at her husband’s affections. She couldn’t remember the last time he was so attentive to her.

Gene took Betsy’s coat along with his and checked it before they headed into the club. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to a big table in the corner with a crowd of familiar faces shouting to him. He flashed that charming smile of his and with Betsy on his arm, made his way to the group.

“Well, look who the cat dragged in!” Phil Silvers teased, jumping from his chair.

“Hey you big lug!” Gene matched his excitement.

“Good to see ya! How the hell have you been?” Phil pulled out a chair for him and before Gene could answer, a cute blonde waitress appeared behind him looking for his drink order. He ordered a beer for himself and a glass of Chardonnay for Betsy.

“So they decided to let you free for a few days, huh?”

“Oh, the National Guard couldn’t keep me from coming home, my friend!” He said, putting his arm around Betsy.

“Well, you look better than ever! The Navy agrees with you!” Lucille Ball chimed in, exhaling smoke from her cigarette.

“Thank you,” he bowed his head.

“So what’ve they been keeping you busy with out East?” Frank asked.

“Well, it was a fight at first but I was stationed in the photographic section of the Air Service, I’m in charge of writing and directing various projects, in fact I just put the finishing touches on a training video I’ve been working before I came home. It’s called Combat Fatigue Irritability. The title is self explanatory…” He trailed off, it was a particularly heavy piece of material.

“Wow, you just can’t get away from the camera can you? You run off to join the Navy and you’re still stuck making pictures!”

“Now, come on, he can’t help it with a face like that!” Phil tossed his arm around his neck, pulling him in to give him a noogie. When Gene managed to break free, he cradled the base of his beer, twirling it around in his hand as he continued to laugh. The group had trailed off into another conversation with Betsy and when Gene looked up again, his wide smile quickly vanished.

There she was. There she fucking was. He wondered as he and Betsy were getting ready to leave if he would see Judy tonight. Ciro’s was practically a second home to her when they were together, he knew there would be a solid chance they’d meet again. But as prepared as he thought he was to see her, he couldn’t have imagined it would feel this way. His eyes were glued to her as the rest of the world seemingly faded away and she walked in slow motion with the arm of another gentleman around her waist. Her flowing hair - which was much darker than he remembered it, a little shorter too - bouncing at her shoulders, that unmistakable laugh echoing in his mind. His eyes drifted out of curiosity to the man who held her by the waist, it was Joe Mankiewicz, a relatively well known writer and producer at the studio. He was also known to be a bit of a leech... and to be a bit married. Gene could feel his jaw tighten as he curled his hands into a fist under the table when he saw Joe’s hand slide further down Judy’s backside as he led her to the bar.

That’s not my beautiful girlfriend, he thought to himself.

She is not mine anymore, he repeated in his head.

Betsy glanced over at her husband, immediately noticing his transfixed stare. When she looked in the direction he was, her own heart fell to her stomach. Judy Garland was a name she had heard all too often over the last two years. When the gossip columnists began writing about their suspected affair, everyone on the block was calling her. She couldn’t bring herself to believe the rumours but something about Gene’s demeanour changed when she was around. He became an empty shell when he was at home, even going so far as to flinch whenever Betsy would touch him. At the time, she chalked it up to the heavy pressure the studio was putting on him. They were both new to Hollywood, he wasn’t used to the schedules he kept. With that in mind, Gene managed to convince her the rumours were just that, a rumour. When Gene began to return to his normal self, she dared question it. She had been waiting for him to look at her again the way he used to, with his devoted love and admiration. But his expression now was one she had never seen before.

“Mr. Kelly, Earth to Kelly…” Frank interjected, waving his hand in front of his face, snapping him out of his reverie.

“What?”

“You ok? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Frank turned to look where he had been and when he saw Judy, it all came together. Frank was one of the only people who knew of their affair. It wasn’t his choice though, he had walked in on them fooling around in an empty rehearsal hall. From that day forward, he had acted as a scapegoat and alibi when he was needed, and tonight he delivered just the same. He glanced over at Betsy and immediately drew her attention away from Gene, making small talk about FDR being reelected president.

Gene sat stone faced, holding his beer in his hands. His eyes had lost sight of Judy but she was racing a mile a minute in his mind. The large nightclub suddenly felt like a tiny room with the walls slowly caving in. He frantically pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and when he felt Betsy’s hand land on his thigh under the table, he leapt up from his chair.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, knowing full well what the problem was but choosing to ignore the screaming voice in her head.

“I’m just going out for a smoke, it’s hot in here, isn’t it hot in here? I’ll be back…” He explained, darting for the entrance to the back patio.

He leaned over the railing, allowing the smoke to fall freely from his lips. The wind blew unseasonably hot that night, he could feel it stinging his face as he looked out onto Sunset Blvd. Gene had dated his fair share of women before Betsy came along, he had experience with ex girlfriends… but this, for some strange reason, felt like uncharted territory. What was this hold she had on him?

“I thought that was you,” her voice emanated from behind him. He closed his eyes for a moment before he could muster up the courage to turn around.

“Surprise,”

Judy took a few steps closer, placing herself in front of the railing beside him. She fished her own cigarette out of her purse and when she struggled with her lighter, Gene flicked his, placing the flame at the end of her smoke.

“Thanks,”

Gene nodded, shoving it back in his pocket.

“So what’s your excuse?” He asked.

“My what?”

“Your excuse for smoking outside. What did you tell him?”

Judy glanced down at her hands that gripped the wooden handrail, “Same as yours, needed some air.”

“How do you know that was mine?”

“Because I know you,”

“Joseph Mankiewicz, huh?” He said, staring forward.

“Stop it.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I know a judgmental tone when I hear one. You have absolutely no right, so don’t you dare say another word.”

“You know he’s married, right?”

Judy paused for a moment before she answered him, “That never stopped you.”

“Touche,”

“Besides, you know nothing about him or us so why don’t you stay out of it?”

“Maybe I’m out of line here, Judy, but just what exactly are you doing?”

“What are you talking about?”

“With him? I know who Joe is, I know YOU know who Joe is, are you… are you together? What is that?” He asked, gesturing towards the door that led back into the club.

“He loves me, he promised to marry me just as soon as he knows his wife is taken care of. She’s sick, you know.”

“Yes, I know. That’s so fucked up, Judy. You’re so fucked up.”

“Remember when you said you might be out of line?” She sneered.

“Do you truly believe anything he says?”

“Why do you care?! Why do you care if I believe what he says? Why do you care if we’re together?”

“I don’t… know, I don’t know why I care. I just, I fucking hate that guy and I know you’re better than that, you’re better than him. This is not who you are.”

“Who am I, darling?”

Gene looked away, turning his attention to another couple slow dancing to the faint music coming from inside on the other end of the patio.

“Look at me!”

Slowly, he turned to meet her gaze, “I don’t know who you are anymore, Garland. How could I?”

“Look, I’m happy for you. I know you’ve been getting along with Betsy, that was your goal wasn’t it? To put your family back together, and you have. I’m so fucking happy for you, I could just vomit. Now why don’t you give me the same respect, huh?”

“I’m trying,” he replied softly, “I got over you, Judy. I’m over you.”

Judy leaned in closer to him, her chin nearly resting on his shoulder, “No you’re not.”

Just then, Betsy came out onto the patio in search of her husband. The door swinging open caused them both to turn around.

“Betsy!” Judy exclaimed enthusiastically with a wide smile.

“Hello…” she said softly, her eyes locked on Gene.

“So nice to see you again!” The over delighted tone in Judy’s voice made Gene wince.

“You too,” she said, accepting a half hug.

“Well, listen, I better get back to my date. Lovely chatting with you again, Gene. I’ll see you around, huh?”

“Yeah,” he said, facing forward again.

Betsy replaced Judy at the railing and she looked at her husband, searching for answers she didn’t want to hear. Gene took the last drag from his cigarette before flicking it over the balcony, feeling Betsy’s inquisitive gaze.

“Shall we go back inside?” He asked, ignoring the tension between them.

“I think I’d like to go home,”

“Go home? Bets, we just got here barely an hour ago.”

“If you don’t mind…”

Gene and Betsy drove down Sunset, heading towards Rodeo. Betsy leaned forward, drowning the silence by turning on the radio. She fiddled with the dial until she landed on a rerun of a Bob Hope comedy special. As soon as she leaned back in the seat, Judy’s voice came through the speaker singing I Never Knew I Could Love Anybody the Way I’m Loving You. In true Garland fashion, she was following them again. Hovering over their marriage like an ominous cloud. Betsy glanced at her husband and immediately noticed that jaw tighten again before he changed the channel.

“Why did you turn that off?” She asked, accusingly.

“I’ve heard it before,” he replied with a blank tone.

The air was silent between them for a moment.

“Did you sleep with her?” She blurted.

“What?” Gene almost swerved into the oncoming lane.

“Gene!”

“I’m sorry, why did you ask me that?”

“Because I’m not daft, Gene. I wasn’t born yesterday. I saw the way she looked at you, and even worse, the way you looked at her. You’re a different person when she’s around. I don’t like you when she’s around, and I don’t like you right now.”

“How am I different, Bets? Because I wanted to leave the club?”

“You haven’t looked me in the eye since I saw you standing outside with her. You’re afraid to, you’re hiding.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,”

“Listen, things have been going really well between us over the last year, I’m happy with you now and there was a time when I wasn’t. I don’t want to move backwards, Gene… I don’t want to be scared of coming in second anymore.”

“Betsy! You’re not second, I thought we were past this. I thought you didn’t believe those damn Hopper columns.”

“I will only ask you once more and then I promise to drop this… Did you or did you not have an affair with her?”

Gene thought for a moment, torn over his answer. He pulled the car over, turned off the ignition and looked her straight in the eye.

“No,” he said defiantly, “I did not sleep with her, we did not have an affair.”

Betsy smiled relieved, placing her hand on his cheek. His skin felt hot to the touch. The accusations of their affair took him back to a painful time that he wanted to remain in the past.

“Thank you,”

“Can we go home now?” He asked, placing his hand on top of hers.

When Gene returned to Washington, he continued to repair his relationship with Betsy but it wasn’t long before Betsy began to pull back. Her letters to him became further and further apart, and with a full workload, it was easy for Gene to get swept up in his duties. He couldn’t pay attention to what was happening back home, there was only so much he could do from afar.

One evening, he returned to his barracks with a letter in hand. He hadn’t bothered to look at the envelope, he assumed it was from Betsy and he was beyond tired after working a fourteen hour stretch. He flopped down on the cot and tore the letter open, tossing the envelope onto the blanket beside him. His heavy eyes flew wide open when he noticed the slanted handwriting he was all too familiar with.

Gene,

I agonized over writing this letter. What can I say? Where do I begin?

I know how you love to be right about everything – so I’m sure you’ll get a kick out of knowing you were right about everything regarding Joe. He doesn’t love me. Did I ever really love him? I don’t think so. Know how I know? I’m not all that upset. When you broke up with me, I cried for days. I barely shed a tear for Joe. What does that mean? I shouldn’t be asking you that. That’s not fair…  I know our ship has sailed. Remember when I told you you weren’t over me? I know that you are. I know you’ve moved on. I can see it in your eyes, I could see it in the way you looked at me that night. It’s me, Gene. I’m the one who couldn’t move on. I think about you every time the phone rings, I think about you every time I play a record, you’re a constant white noise in my head and I don’t know how to stop it. I wish I could turn it off, but I can’t. I meant it when I said I was happy for you, darling, truly I did. But when do I get to be happy? When is it my turn? If only you could show me how.

Gene’s grip tightened on the letter. He turned the paper over expecting there to be more, but the sheet was blank. He flipped it back over, raising an eyebrow at its abrupt end. She always signed off on her letters.

Arriving home after another late night at Ciro’s with the girls, Judy trudged up to her bedroom. Tossing her shall onto the chaise lounge, she walked over to her vanity to grab a pack of cigarettes before changing into her night clothes. Her eyes were immediately drawn to an empty spot on the desk just below her mirror. The spot she was sure she had left the letter she wrote to Gene. She dropped the pack of cigarettes and her heart plummeted into her stomach. She tore through the vanity, checking in every little drawer and under a pile of magazines she kept. It was nowhere to be found. She had a few too many to drink that night at Ciro’s and for a moment she couldn’t remember if maybe she had moved it. She darted downstairs, tearing through the living room, in her bookshelves, on the fireplace. It had to be here somewhere she thought.

“Miss Garland?” Her housekeeper who often stayed the night to keep Judy company came in, barely awake, “What are you doing?”

Judy swung around, trying to remain composed, “Uhm.. I’m, just, I’m looking for something.”

“May I help?”

“No, no, you go on back to bed… I know it’s here some place.”

“What is it you’re looking for?”

“It was a letter I had on my desk, it’s gone.”

“Oh,” Pearl laughed, “Darling, I mailed it out for you earlier today. You were out of stamps but I took it to the post office along with a few other pieces I had.”

“You WHAT?!” Judy held her hands over her face as she felt every limb go numb.

“You didn’t want it mailed?”

“No, I didn’t want it mailed, Pearl! ...Oh my God, I think I’m going to faint,” she breathed, pacing back and forth before falling into the armchair. “Alright, well you mailed it today? Maybe there’s a way I can get it back. I can go first thing in the morning, I can have the post office retrieve the letter for me.”

“Why don’t you get some sleep, huh? Don’t panic. I’m sure it’ll be just fine.”

When Judy arrived at the Post Office the next morning before her early call at the studio, she was told the mail had been sent out the previous afternoon and there was no way to intercept delivery. With her heart in her throat, all she could do was accept her fate. Gene would receive the letter – the letter that was only meant to be written, not sent.

As each day passed without a response, her anxiety raised. Luckily, she was catapulted into work on The Harvey Girls and was in the midst of recording an album for Decca Records which acted as a temporary distraction. Her personal life inadvertently took a backseat to her professional one.

It felt like a year had passed, but it had only been a month since the letter had been sent. She was filming on an exterior train set, recording In the Valley (Where the Evenin’ Sun Goes Down). The crew were mesmerized, her voice came through louder than the playback, even for such a soft song. The day she filmed a musical number was always a favourite for anyone who worked with her. Standing in a darkened area by an unused camera in the back of the sound stage, Gene watched her as she leaned back against the train. He couldn’t take his eyes from her, she had never looked more beautiful than she did in that very moment. He wasn’t sure if maybe it was because he hadn’t seen her in months or if because she truly had never been more beautiful. Once again, she looked different, as she always did when there had been a significant absence between them. She looked more mature, he thought.

The song came to a close and when George called cut, Judy leapt off the train set and made her way to the director’s chair to discuss an idea on how she could improve the last shot. Gene stepped out from the back of the sound stage, his hands in his pockets as he slowly walked towards her. Judy was so focused on a particular idea that it took a few moments for her eyes to raise over George’s shoulder. When finally she saw him heading her direction with such a warm demeanour, she softly smiled a smile that matched his. She was confused to see him. She hadn’t been made aware, even in her social circle that he was home again. Judy politely excused herself from the director and began walking towards him.

“Hi,” he grinned.

“What are you doing here?” She asked in a warm tone.

“I’m home for a while… I heard you singing.”

“You know, you’re not allowed on a closed set,” she teased.

“I couldn’t help it. Your voice is magnetizing.”

Judy lowered her stare to the floor between them, the thoughts raced through her mind a mile a minute. She wanted to come right out and ask him if he received her letter but she couldn’t bear to face it. He hadn’t said a thing about it, he never even bothered to answer – maybe he never received it, she thought… and hoped. She remembered a few times her letters to David had been misdelivered when he served.

“I’ll be home for a good long while,” he began again, speaking softly, “and I’d like to see you.”

“You would?”

“If that’s alright with you, of course.”

“Of course.”

Judy was promptly called back to the set but before she turned to leave, she asked him to stick around for another take, explaining that she thought she messed up somewhere in the outro. Gene agreed to stay, anything to keep his eyes on her even for just a few minutes more. He reached down and took her hand in his, running his thumb over her knuckles before she turned and walked back to set.

Judy nailed the next take from start to finish. She often credited Gene for giving her her strength and confidence. She always performed her best when he was in the vicinity. As the A.D. helped her off the train all the while singing her praises, Judy only desired and eagerly anticipated Gene‘s thought. When she came around the train set, her exuberance fell the moment she realized the spot he was standing in was now empty. She glanced around the sound stage but he was nowhere to be found.

It was nearly 10:30pm when Judy was finally dismissed. After changing into her street clothes, she walked tiredly to the parking lot with a cigarette in hand daydreaming of slipping into her pyjamas and crawling into bed the moment she got home. The exhaustion from consecutive late nights and long days were quickly catching up to her. As she approached the row of reserved parking spots, she noticed a dark figure leaning on the hood of her car, smoke billowing from its mouth.

“Well, aren’t you the elusive one?” She said when she realized it was, of course, Gene. His arms were crossed and he turned around to look at her.

“I’m so sorry, Judy, I forgot I had a meeting on the other end of the lot with Freed, I needed to haul ass. You have a tendency to make me forget those kinds of things,” he winked. “I was beginning to think they’d never let you outta there.”

“You and me both, darling,” she said under her breath as she joined Gene and leaned against the hood.

“Again, however, I find myself asking what are you doing here?”

“I said I wanted to see you again. You said it was alright,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I didn’t think you meant in the MGM parking lot,”

“Let go for a drive,” he beamed.

“Now?” She checked her watch, “it’s getting late,”

“Late? It’s barely eleven o’clock. I’m away for six months and you become a lark. That’s it, I’m never leaving this town again,” he teased.

Judy faintly laughed, sighing at the end.

“I won’t keep you, honestly, I’d just like to talk… please? Let’s drive for awhile.”

Gene and Judy drove down Overland, heading North with no real purpose or destination in mind. Gene kept stealing glances at Judy while the radio played a Bing Crosby tune. As he glanced over at her, staring straight ahead as though she were terrified to look at him, he couldn’t help but smile.

“So you’re not over me, huh?” He blurted.

Judy winced immediately, “fuck…”

Gene laughed.

“That letter was not meant for your eyes, I am beyond embarrassed.”

“It wasn’t? My name written on the envelope kinda threw me off.”

“I wrote that letter for myself, as a sort of diary. I thought if I got my thoughts down on paper, I could move on, get past this, us… and my half wit housekeeper went and mailed it to you,” she pursed her lips together, trying to hide a self deprecating smile.

“Sure, I’ll pretend for a moment to believe that,” he smirked.

“It’s the truth! Do you honestly think I’d send you a letter like that knowing full well the effort you’ve put into fixing your family?”

“Honestly, yes,” he half-teased.

“Ouch…”

There was a moment of silence between them, the air that was light moments ago turned strained.

“I am so sorry, Gene… I didn’t want to jeopardize the progress you and Betsy made. It was not my intention.”

“I know it wasn’t,” he said quietly.

“I’m sorry I–,”

“Stop saying you’re sorry. Whether that letter was sent by accident or not, I was meant to receive it. I needed to hear what you had to say.”

“How come you never wrote me back?” She asked earnestly.

Gene sort of shrugged his shoulders, “what can I say? I like keeping you on your toes,” he smirked again, lightening the air between them once more.

“You’re an ass.”

Gene pulled off the main road, turning down a path that led to a quiet garden. The park was completely dark but it gave them the privacy both were looking for. He pulled into a parking spot and shut off the engine.

“May I ask what happened with Joe?” He pried, turning to look at her.

Judy shook her head, not in a way that was saying ‘no’ but in a way that indicated absurdity.

“That night at Ciro’s,” She began, “he took me home, he made love to me and then he told me I had to leave because,” she paused for a moment, the muscles in her neck flaring, “his wife was coming home early the next morning so they could celebrate their anniversary.” Gene tried to hide the I-told-you-so expression as she continued, “I had found a necklace in his sock drawer a few days before that, and I guess I thought it was a gift for me... It was for her. Doesn’t quite sound like a man on the brink of leaving his wife, does it?” She said with a mirthless smile.

“No, no it doesn’t.”

“I left his house that night, I didn’t hear from him again until several weeks later. I told him to go to hell. He didn’t even fight for me.”

“I’m sorry, I really am. But what did you expect involving yourself with a married man?”

“I was involved with you,” she retorted.

“That’s different, and you know it,” he said, “I love my family, Judy,” he added, staring at the steering wheel in front of him, “I love my wife,”

“I know,”

“But if I love her so much, why the fuck can’t I stop thinking about you?” He said, almost getting angry, “When I was reading your letter, it was like I could have written it to you. You are exactly that, a fucking white noise that I can’t turn off. Everything reminds me of you, I can’t escape you… and to be perfectly honest, I think it’s because I don’t want to escape you.”

“Darling…”

“I tried to write you back, believe me I fucking tried. But what was I supposed to say? What more can I say to you? I don’t regret choosing my family, I will never regret anything that has to do with my daughter but why can’t I stop loving you?”

“For the same reason I can’t. There is something real here. It’s the metaphorical elephant in the room that never leaves, not for a second.”

“So what do we do about it?” 

“I haven’t a clue,” She sighed.

Gene smiled tenderly and raised his arm over her, gesturing for her to slide in to him. She shoved towards him on the seat and rested her head on his shoulder as he held her. For the first time in months, they relished in their physical contact. Gene placed a soft kiss atop her head, all the while inhaling her sweet and familiar scent. When his lips separated from her hair, Judy looked up at him with her mouth slightly parted. Her lips had never looked more inviting.

“Gene,” she whispered almost inaudibly. That was his queue to take the next step and capture her in a delicate yet heated kiss. His palm raised to her cheek before he allowed his fingers to gently graze down the side of her neck. The feel of him gave her instant goosebumps as their mouths continued in perfect harmony.

“Do you still want me?” She murmured, her lips still attached to his. Gene reached for her hand and slowly began to guide it to his trousers that were tented from his solid arousal.

“For as long as I live, I will always want you,” He answered.

He undid the zipper, reaching inside to pull himself out before placing her bare hand on him. He couldn’t help the deep groan that escaped his lips when he finally felt her around him again. He caught her in another desperate kiss as her small, delicate hand moved up and down his swollen flesh. Judy swung her leg over him and carefully lifted herself onto his lap with his assistance. He quickly began working at the buttons on her cashmere sweater, eagerly trying to free her to him. He let out a deep breath as he slid his hands over her chest to push the sweater off her shoulders. She was instantly bare to him – there was something so unbelievably erotic about her choice not to wear a bra after a long day. He smiled before lowering his mouth to her breasts, kissing and sucking each one. The waves of pleasure that coursed through her body and met up between her legs were quickly becoming unbearable.

“I’ve missed you,” he purred between kisses. Judy leaned forward, enveloping his head with her arms as she ran her dainty fingers through his jet black hair.

Judy lifted onto her knees while Gene guided his throbbing arousal through the leg of her panties. She shaped her mouth into an O as he slid effortlessly inside her. He gripped her thighs which were now much thinner than he remembered and dug his fingertips into her skin as she began to ride him faster and faster. When she went particularly hard on the up motion, her bottom hit the horn on his steering wheel, sending an obnoxiously loud sound echoing into the empty park. Judy immediately dove her face into Gene’s chest as she stifled a roaring laugh. Gene held her body against his as his lips pursed together, desperately trying not to ruin the moment.

“I’m sorry,” she snorted.

“Don’t be,” he said, smiling, taking her face in his hands again so she’d look at him. His hand slid to the back of her neck and he gripped her hair in his fists before resuming their rhythm, this time it was him leading. His pace quickened and suddenly Judy could barely catch her breath. Every thrust inside hit her in all the right places and she grasped the grab handle on the ceiling, preparing for the inevitable burst of pleasure she had been waiting so long for.

“Don’t stop,” she begged, digging her fingernails into his shoulder.

“I wasn’t planning to, baby,” he groaned.

Judy pulled in a deep breath, unable to exhale as her body began to betray her. The car felt like it was spinning as she released a soul shattering climax. Gene held on until he felt a few more tremors shake her body, then he plunged deep inside one last time and buried his face in her chest.

“Oh, my God… Judy…” he panted, feeling a rush come over him unlike anything he’d ever felt.

“My God, too…” She collapsed in his arms and he cradled her. She was so warm against him, he loved the sound of her laboured breathing becoming more and more relaxed, and the sweet audible moans she’d let out sporadically, they sounded so melodic. Neither could tell just how long they stayed like that for. All sense of timing went out the window when they came down from their vigorous aftershocks.

Gene kissed her again, soft and tenderly for a while, neither wanted the evening to end. When his hand once again cradled her cheek, his thumb caught a tear that had escaped her eye. He withdrew for a moment and looked into her misty brown eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

Judy tightened her lips, shaking her head as though she were struggling to properly convey her answer.

“I was just thinking about what a beautiful memory this night will be.”

“Why are you thinking of it as a memory?”

“Because it has to be just a memory, doesn’t it?”

“No.”

“Gene,” she looked at him, all-knowingly, “are you going to go home and leave your wife?”

He didn’t answer, only leaning his head back against the seat and closing his eyes.

“It’s not our time yet, darling,” she explained, “the time for us to act on the elephant in the room will come one day and we will know when it feels completely and unequivocally right between us. You’ll take me home tonight, I’ll go my way and you’ll go yours...”

“I hate the way that sounds… I can’t be without you for months again, I can’t.”

“Yes, you can,” she encouraged, “you have to.”

“Why? Why does this have to end like this?”

“It’s not ending, darling, we’re just… putting ourselves on hold. If there’s one thing I’ve realized over the course of this night with you is that being in love with you and knowing you’re still in love with me is enough. It’s enough for me to hold onto until the day comes when we can be together – no hiding, no spouses, no rules.”

Gene took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. He hated when she was right. He knew they couldn’t continue on the way they had been. Getting back together now would mean getting back together under the pretense of yet another affair. Both of them liked to think they were past that.

Gene helped Judy straighten up but kept her under his arm as they drove back towards Beverly Hills. Neither of them spoke a word the entire way there and when Gene pulled into her driveway, he looked at her for a moment, his mouth shaping up like he was about to say something. Judy pressed her index finger to her lips, silently asking him not to. Her eyes began to well up once more and she leaned forward, kissing him delicately. Gene’s lips parted slightly to receive one last warm sweep of her tongue. When they broke apart, Judy held her hands over her heart, mouthing the words I love you before getting out of the car. Gene watched as she walked up the pathway to her door and disappeared inside.  

J U N E   1 9 4 5

Sitting at the kitchen table, Gene jubilantly fed Kerry her breakfast. She had grown so much, he couldn’t believe how much he’d missed in the last four months. He was very proud of the work he was doing for the Navy but it was when he was home that he couldn’t help the small feeling of regret. Betsy would try to capture as much as she could about Kerry’s development in her letters but reading about it was entirely different than witnessing it for himself. Gene was fixing a little smiley face on Kerry’s food tray with her sliced bananas, grapes and strawberries when Betsy came in from the front porch.

“Did you happen to see the papers this morning?” She asked, walking into the kitchen.

“Nope,” he said, still lost in his fruit art. Betsy tossed the paper on the table in front of him and his eyes drifted to the large black lettering.

JUDY GARLAND WEDS DIRECTOR VINCENTE MINNELLI

[llewey-watts]

Work in progress post:

Detective Watts Best Quotes

Concocting A Killer

Watts: “Ah, so you’re the one who botched it.” Murdoch: “Excuse me?”

Watts: “Well, that’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”

Brackenreid: “Listen, Detective Murdoch did nothing wrong. The Crown is just worried that Shanley may claim prejudice if the same detective reinvestigates the case.”

Watts: “Right, right, right. You’re just biased. The coroner’s the one who botched it. Coroners. Odd lot. Far from reliable to say the least. Not to mention the smell.”

Murdoch: “Our coroner has a flawless record. And she also happens to be my wife.”

Watts: “Good God, man. You’re married to the city coroner?”

Murdoch: “Yes.”

Watts: “Oof. Is she pretty? Ah, she’d have to be pretty. I don’t know how else you could tolerate being married to a colleague.”

“The streets of this fine city are my office.”

Crabtree: “Should I read these files?”

Watts: “Absolutely not. The less you know, the more pure you remain. From purity emerges truth. From truth emerges justice. Knowing nothing allows one to see everything.”

“Our mind is where we live our lives. The only home one needs is the human skull.”

Watts: “Oh, no. You interviewed a witness?”

Murdoch: “Oh, no. She called on me.”

Watts: “Your involvement was to cease entirely. Instead, it appears you are continuing to seek a conviction. And based on what? A visual test done 12 years ago by a neophyte coroner?”

Murdoch: “Dr. Ogden is my wife.”

Watts: “Which makes it all the more likely you’re blind to her mistakes. No, it appears this dinner was a poor idea. Good night Detective.”

Watts: “The detective was wrong.”

Ogden: “About what?”

Watts: “You’re not pretty.”

Ogden: “Excuse me?”

Watts: “Look at you. Classic, Romanesque bone structure, excellent physiognomic symmetry. You’re not pretty. You’re beautiful.”

Ogden: “Well, I suppose I’m flattered.”

Watts: “Why? It’s merely an objective assessment. But that necktie **shakes his head**.

“Honestly, Inspector, how does anyone work with this man? He is some kind of renegade to whom rules are a foreign concept.”

“Let’s suppose for a moment that Mr. Shanley is guilty of this current murder. Now, does that make him more or less likely to be guilty of the first? Are you the same man today you were yesterday? Your hair is not the same. You cut and discarded it. Same with your fingernails. Over time, our entire body falls away and is reconstituted. How, then, can you be the same? Oh, but our thinking changes with maturity, with experience. In truth, the continuity of personhood may be nothing more than a delusion. In fact, it makes me question our whole profession..."

“We need to get out of doors detective. The truth is in the air. We must **deep breath** breathe it in.”

“We both know you didn’t do it. — We have to blame someone. The function of the police is to attribute blame on behalf of the community, but the community doesn’t particularly care if we blame the right person. — Why not? Man has been using scapegoats since Leviticus. The sims were placed upon the goat, the goat was banished to the desert, but mo one cared that the goat was innocent.”

“The ignorami at Station One have done it again. I clearly told them to release the man who looks like Karl Marx. They’ve let out some fellow who’s as clean-shaven as bloody Kierkegaard.”

Hades Hath No Fury

“How could I have been so unaware? My sister was in distress, and I suspected nothing. Age is no excuse for inattention. -but, sir, you found her. Your sister’s alive.- Yes. So I’m at peace.”

“Yes. Well life is but a cruel sport for whatever maker you are forced to believe in. -Detective Watts I understand...- Would your sister forsake you for a house of women who have eschewed the world in which you live?-my sister was a nun.-“

“Truth is absolute, unyielding and eternal, Jackson. It is our one constant in a turbulent universe.”

“Your face is *pause* symmetrical, but that hat *shakes his head*”

Merlot Mysteries

Watts: “Wine is proof that God loves us and wants to see us happy.”

Murdoch: “I highly doubt that”

Watts: “Oh, you reject the words of Benjamin Franklin?”

Murdoch: “Even a clever man is capable of a bad idea. no. wine, like any alcohol, is a depressant. It hinders the mind.”

Watts: “Ah, but ‘in wine there is truth.’ -Pliny the Elder.”

Murdoch: “Writers and Philosophers are seldom the best of judges. Especially when it comes to alcohol.

Watts: “Well, no one less than Louis Pasteur called wine, ‘the most helpful and most hygienic of beverages.’ Is it that you don’t enjoy the taste?”

Murdoch: “Ah.”

“Oh. Wait right there. I’m going to show you how wrong you are.”

“‘Wine can of their wits the wise beguile, make the sage frolic, and a serious smile.’”

“In the words of Diogenes, ‘What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.’”

Murdoch: “Spectroscopic analysis.”

Watts: “Ah, yes. Not reliable in my experience. How’s it meant to help us?”

Murdoch: “By comparing the wine in question to the light profile of other varying ages, we’ll be able to discern precisely how old it is.”

Ogden: “The older the wine, presumably, the light the color, thanks to the blanching effect of sunlight.”

Watts: “Mm, but it was kept in a cellar. Depending on conditions, two bottles of the same provenance could be wildly different. There’s absolutely to way to determine —“

Murdoch: “Thank you, Detective. Please.”

Watts: “All right.”

Ogden: “Ready?”

Murdoch: “Yes.”

Ogden: “It’s 4.3.”

**Watts waiting + messing around.**

Ogden: “It’s 5.2. 8.5.”

Watts: “Well?”

Murdoch: “[Sighs] They are all different.”

Watts: “Really?”

Murdoch: “Every grape, every year, every bottle.”

Watts: “Hm, you don’t say.”

Murdoch: “It compares to an 1880 Merlot...a 1902 Tempranillo...and...several others.”

Ogden: “Well, I suppose you told us so, Detective.”

Murdoch: “All right. Call in your expert.”

Watts: “Uh, not my expert. My sommelier.”

The Talking Dead

“No one intends to get murder **scratches his beard** and yet.”

Crabtree: “Sir, are you not concerned that you yourself are marked for death?”

Watts: “Oh, I don’y like it, but the truth is death could come to any one of us any day.”

Crabtree: “Still, no need to hurry it along.”

Watts: “Well, very little of life is under our control. Very little death as well.”

Crabtree: “Watts, have you ever been to Paris?”

Watts: “Ah yes, The City of Light.”

Crabtree: “I thought that was Buffalo?”

Watts: “No, I believe Paris came up with it first. Why do you ask?”

Crabtree: “Nina’s involved with a show that’s preforming there. She wants me to go.”

Watts: “Forever?”

Crabtree: “No, no, just a short while.”

Watts: “Well, the world is only an oyster if you choose to open it.”

Crabtree: “So go to Paris today, for tomorrow I might die?”

Watts: “Precisely.”

Crabtree: “What about you? What would you do with your last day?”

Watts: “Just this. Talk to a friend.”

Crabtree: “Who? Oh me?”

Watts: “And solve a crime.This is what were looking for.”

Crabtree: “Brilliant.”

Watts: “The City of Love with a beautiful woman. You’d be a fool to say no.”

Crabtree: “Thought you said it was the City of Light.”

Watts: “Light. Love. Are they not one and the same?”

Crabtree: “I prefer to love with the lights off, sir. I fear I’m bashful.”

Crabtree à la Carte

“A shame. It looks terrific. I think I’ll go out for lunch. Anyone care to join me? —- This disappoints me. But I soldier on.”

“I’ll work with her. People are not to be defined merely by their words, thoughts, and actions.”

“KRRRKRRRKRRRSHING SHING SHING SHING SHING! a moleta.”

“[speaking Italian] RESPONDA TO ME!”

That man’s look tho.

Watts: “It may once again be safe, but I’m not sure I’ll ever regard meat with the same enthusiasm again.”

Cherry: “Perhaps you should stick to freshly butchered cuts.”

Watts: “I thought the same. Then I read up on the abattoir conditions in the stockyards.”

Cherry: “The Shelleys subscribed to a Pythagorean diet. Da Vinci too.”

Watts: “Pythagorean? You mean vegetarian?”

Cherry: “I do. ‘My body,’ said da Vinci, ‘will not be a tomb to other creatures.’”

Watts: “Yes. Yes, it’s the only way to live, isn’t it? Join me, Miss Cherry. From this day forward, we shall follow the ranks of all moral men in our strict adherence to vegetarianism.”

Cherry: “Uh, I don’t think so. What, are we cows?”

Murdoch Schmurdoch

“Are you being facetious?”

“**To Constable John Brackenreid** Let me guess, you invited a lady to accompany you on an outing and she declined. — I would counsel you to persevere. Ask again. As Lord Nelson wrote, ‘the boldest measures are the safest,’ although I suppose a woman is quite unlike a Danish Fleet. — Yes. Tread softly, Young Brackenreid. Let her know that if her inclination changes, your offer still stands.”

Game of Kings

Ogden: “I see. Well, I don’t much fancy being stared at for the next five months.”

Murdoch: “Julia...”

Ogden: “Inspector, I couldn’t help but notice that you and all of the men were staring at the us both. Is there something you’d like to ask?”

Brackenreid: “Uh, no.”

Ogden: “Constable Crabtree?”

Crabtree: “What? [Chuckles]”

Ogden: “Higgins?”

Higgins: “No, ma’am.”

Ogden: “What about you, Detective Watts? You seem like a curious fellow.”

Watts: “Well, there is one thing.”

Murdoch: “What is that?”

Watts: “When’s the baby coming?”

Crabtree: “Oh!”

Brackenreid: “Bloody hell, Watts! They wanted to keep it a secret.”

Watts: “How could they do that when everyone clearly knows what’s going on here?”

Free Falling

Watts: “One hopes this won’t put too much of a strain on their relationship.”

Crabtree: “How so?”

Watts: “In the face of great loss, emotions can be misdirected. Feelings amplified. I knew a young couple who experienced a similar issue. They never recovered.”

Watts: “The secret to dealing with gruesome remains is to replace natural instinct with logic.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Okay. How?”

Watts: “Consider an ant. Imagine you trod upon one, crushing it, and leaving it’s body mangled beyond recognition. Now, does this disturb you?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Not really.”

Watts: “Exactly. So we simply apply the transitive law. If we are not disturbed by an ant, there is no reason to be disturbed by a beetle. If not by a beetle, then not by a caterpillar. Nor a butterfly, nor a sparrow, nor a fish, nor a rabbit, not a dog...nor a human. What we have here, then, is no more disturbing than the squashed remains of an ant.”

Hart: “What’s this?”

Watts: “A reminder of the inhumanity of man, Miss Hart.”

Hart: “How poetic.”

Watts: “Constable? It seems something’s troubling you.”

Crabtree: “How so?”

Watts: “There’s an expression on your face that suggests you have a thought in your head.”

Crabtree: “Do you remember I asked you about visiting Paris?”

Watts: “No.”

Crabtree: “And then I was away for some time?”

Watts: “No.”

Crabtree: “No. Well, in any case, I did. I went to Paris with Nina.”

Watts: “Mm.”

Crabtree: “And she wants to go again, but for good.”

Watts: “So you’re considering leaving us all behind?”

Crabtree: “I don’t want to. My whole life is here. But I could imagine a life there. I don’t know. If I...If I don’t go, I lose Nina. If I do, I lose everything else that’s dear to me.”

Watts: “One loss doesn’t outweigh the other?”

Crabtree: “The enormity of either seems too great to contemplate.”

Watts: “Oof. Well...I can’t give you any advice. But I can tell you what I know. I know that we spend our whole lives holding on to what we have. We fear loss as much as death itself. But without loss, there is no change. Without change, there is no? Life.”

Crabtree: “Detective. You realize there’s nothing written on the blackboard, right?”

Watts: “Uh, yes, but it provides a frame of reference.”

Crabtree: “Ah.”

Brothers Keepers

“Of course I’m not certain. Memories are fragmentary impressions at best. The mind moves like a flock of starlings. It’s hard to pin down a thought, let alone a memory.”

“Did I have reason? Nigel Baker tortured and killed a man I...A man who was in every way my brother. Someone who deserved my protection. I had ample reason to kill Nigel Baker. But as I have already made clear, I didn’t recognize him. So did I kill him with intention? No. Am I sorry he’s dead? No, I’m not. To be honest, even if given the chance to exact my revenge, I’m not sure I’m capable of it. Obviously, my philosophy rejects that very idea. No one asks to be the way they are, not even boys like Nigel Baker.”

In reference to justice being found:

Watts: “Where is that to be found? I’ve been asking myself that. To be honest, I’m unable to think of much else.

Murdoch: “You seek justice.”

Watts: “I crave it. If I could, I would demand it. I want the man who killed my brothers to feel their pain. To feel my grief at what he did to them. But he’s dead. At the hand of his father. Did he even know why? And now the father will likely hang. Is that justice?

Brackenreid: “Of a sort, I suppose.”

Watts: “Then why don’t I feel better?”

Annabella Cinderella

Constable Brackenreid: “Do you think I’ll get a chance to meet him?”

Crabtree: “Who? The lawyer? What do you want to meet him for?”

Constable Brackenreid: “I-I followed the trial. I felt sorry for her.”

Crabtree: “John, she killed her mother with an ax.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Harriet Rawlins wasn’t her mother. Annabella was a home child.”

Crabtree: “So that makes it alright?”

Constable Brackenreid: “She was beaten and tortured. Her home sister admitted as much.”

Crabtree: “The home sister that Annabella then tried to murder?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Rosemary Rawlins was abusive as well.”

Watts: “That’s what made it such a brilliant defense. The victim was painted as a villain, the villain painted as a victim. Annabella Cinderella.”

Crabtree: “So you’re a fan of the lawyer as well?”

Constable Brackenreid: “He took her case for free.”

Watts: “Oh, nobody’s motives are purely altruistic. It’s all in the service of his political aspirations. He running for mayor, don’t you know?”

Crabtree: “Thank you very much, Detective Watts, for everything. You as well, Mr. Daniels.”

Constable Brackenreid: “And I’m terribly sorry about all of this.”

Watts: “Of course you’re sorry. It doesn’t change anything, so why waste energy in saying it?”

Constable Brackenreid: “Does Detective Murdoch know?”

Watts: “No, he doesn’t. And that’s not the question you should be asking right now.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Sorry, I...”

Watts: “Nope.”

Constable Brackenreid: “W-What is?”

Lawyer: “How do we find her?”

Watts: “Ah. On the train over, I went through the file from the Crown prosecutor. There’s one more person we should protect.”

Lawyer: “Who’s that?”

Watts: “The doctor who filed the death certificate and attended the case.”

Lawyer: “Dr. Beattie was never called to testify.”

Watts: “He provided evidence that helped convict her.”

Lawyer: “Good point. Let’s go.”

Watts: “No. You stay. **waves gun in the air** This is police business. All right.”

Constable Brackenreid: “I’m not saying she’s innocent. I just pointed out that there are other people who may have wanted to kill her mother.”

Watts: “Which, if they did, would ipso facto make her innocent.”

Crabtree: “Did she say she was innocent?”

Constable Brackenreid: “She did, yes.”

Watts: “‘Twas ever thus.”

Constable Brackenreid: **opens the door** “Oh, my God.”

Watts: “Still think she’s so innocent?”

Constable Brackenreid: “This is my fault.”

Crabtree: “It’s jot your fault, John.”

Watts: “Losing the prisoner was your fault. This is merely a consequence. One cannot be accountable for every consequence, because the consequences of every action are infinite.”

Constable Brackenreid: “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

Watts: “Your feelings are irrelevant. It’s simply the truth of it.”

Crabtree: “It does confirm our fears. The girl’s out for bloody revenge.”

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 14: Truthful liar (Part 6)

Warnings: mentions of murder and abuse

Author notes: here is the final part of the chapter! I hoped you liked it, and I’ll see you in the next one! In the meantime, the older chapters are being reblogged, so feel free to read them again if you wish! ^^

The large reception hall was filled with the richest and most influential people of both Tokyo and Yokohama, that night. Why, the party given that night was pretty exceptional, and only the privileged one had been invited. There was nothing to celebrate, but these wealthy people thought it was normal to spend money in a luxurious buffet, clothes they would probably wear once in their life, and alcohol they could not even enjoy. I was certain most of them were unable to differentiate between an average bottle of champagne and the best one, but I was not there to judge. Enveloped in a traditional furisode decorated with butterflies, I observed the hall without much interest. I had gone to the party on behalf of Fukuzawa-san, who, as an important member of the famous Agency, had been invited. Thankfully, he had agreed to give me his invitation for the sake of the investigation, saying he was about to refuse anyway. I brought a glass of alcohol to my lips, and sighed. It was boring.

"Is the target suspicious?"

"Not for the moment." I answered "Apart from that…"

I glanced at Dazai.

"You're late."

"Finding a tuxedo proved harder than expected. I'm rather tall, you see~"

"That's because you got ready at the last minute." I remarked.

"You're right~ By the way, Ogawa, I have to say that kimono suits you pretty well. You look great." He complimented.

"You think so…? Thank you…" I cracked a smile "The shop chose it for me…"

But the moment I looked up, he was already gone to chat with another woman. Empty words, as always… I should have been used to that, but it felt painful, somehow. Could he not be sincere, from time to time…? Mostly since I had put a lot of thought in that outfit… It did not matter anyway. The sole man I had to be focused on was Ishida Jiro, a guest in this fancy event. He should soon receive an urgent message and take the bait… If everything went according to the plan, he would easily fall into our trap… A man walked towards him and whispered a few words in his ears, which apparently were enough to make his face become pale. I chuckled and put my glass on a table, before following him out of the hall, on a secluded balcony. No one would be able to disturb our talk, there.

"Suda…!" He turned around upon hearing me approach "You bastard…! How dare you threaten me…?!"

"I'm not Suda-san." I told him and closed the door behind me "He is currently in a hospital in Tokyo, he is not here. But I'm the one who sent the message."

"Why…? Who are you…?! How did you know…?!"

"My name is Ogawa Yōko, I'm a detective from the Armed Detective Agency of Yokohama." I introduced myself "And I was hired to find the one after my client's life."

"Hah!" He snorted "And which proof do you have that it is me…? Do you even know who I am…? A mere woman like you can't do a thing against me…!"

"What about you? Do you know who I am?" I tilted my head slightly "Who said I am a "mere woman"? I am an Ogawa, after all, do you think you can harm me in any way?"

I hated using my family name for such worthless matters, but since he had attacked me with his pitiful excuse of an influence first, I had no choice but to retaliate…

"Even so… You have no proof I killed Suda, do you…? He's not even dead in the first place…!"

"His boss is. And you used your deaf-mute henchman as a scapegoat… That's pathetic." I smirked "You sent an assassin thinking you would kill Suda-san… And you ended up killing an innocent man… What a terrible mistake you have committed, Ishida-san. And now, you're cornered, and I know the truth. Why don't you turn yourself in?"

"Why would I…? You have no evidence against me…! Only hypothesis you found on your own…!" He protested.

"Ah… It's true…" I hummed "I have no evidence… What did Suda-san do to you, anyway?"

"That lowly peasant dared seducing my daughter! They don't belong to the same world, and he had the audacity to even look at her…? You should know what I'm talking about…! I couldn't let a beggar like him near her…!"

"... You're disgusting…" I grimaced, before sighing "But I believe that's enough for tonight…"

The fool… He had been too focused on me to even notice what was going on around him. Because of that lack of attention, he would not be able to leave that place unscathed.

"Don't bother me if you have nothing against me." He hissed, bumping into me as he went back inside.

I stared at him, and followed him after a minute. If our plan had worked… Then the only expression left on that man's face would be despair. And, indeed, the moment he entered the hall, murmurs and whispers about him erupted, as his so-called friends started talking behind his back.

"Murderer…!" One of them had the courage to shout at him.

Soon enough, he was alone in the middle of criticism and judgemental glances, which were worse to him than a trial. He had been publicly humiliated.

"What did you do…?!" He yelled at me, grabbing my shoulders harshly.

"Me? Nothing. You were the main actor of the show~" I chuckled, and showed him the speakers in the room "Your performance was quite appreciated by the guests, thank you for entertaining us~"

"What…? Wait…"

Policemen entered to take him away. We had called them in advance so they could hear Ishida-san's words as well, and they had been in another room from the start of that party.

"You're a detective…! You aren't supposed to frame me…! That's illegal…!" He shouted.

"I only transmitted your words to the police. The fact that the people gathered here could hear as well… That's unfortunate…~" I smiled.

Before he could leave, I leaned towards his ear.

"How does it feel to have your life destroyed in a few minutes…~?"

The look on his face was priceless, and I felt paid only by getting to see it. One of those rotten wealthy people had fallen so low… That case should serve as an example for all the representatives of Japan's high society here. At least they had been warned that the Armed Detective Agency would not leave them alone, were they to overlook the law because of their status.

"Dazai…!" I called my friend.

He left a group of young women behind to pay attention to me.

"What is it, Ogawa~?"

"We're leaving." I hid my face with my fan, annoyed.

"Already~? I was enjoying the evening~" He winked towards the group.

"Were you now?" I scoffed "Then stay. I'll go back by myself."

"Wait." He grabbed my wrist "Why do you sound so upset?"

"I'm not…" I grumbled, looking away.

"You are, you know there is no point hiding this from me. Let's see…~ Is it because I don't spend time with you~?"

"You wish…!" I pulled away from him "I just feel… Dissatisfied with the whole case, that's all. Ishida-san was arrested, his life was destroyed, but I feel… Empty. I'm not happy we solved this…"

"Too many things happened during our trip to Hokkaido, that's why." He supposed "I'll go with you, so —"

"Ogawa-san." A waiter came towards me "A masked man wishes to talk to you."

"... Sure…" I was taken aback "See you, Dazai. I'll directly head home afterwards."

"See you tomorrow at the Agency." He smiled and waved at me.

The waiter guided me to a drawing room made for the guests to rest far from the chatter of the crowd. There, indeed, someone was waiting for me, a fox mask on his face. Obviously, I immediately recognised my informer and demanded us to be left alone. I sat in front of him.

"The culprit was arrested." I simply told him.

"Thank you, Ogawa." He nodded, then removed his mask "I'm very grateful that you took down that piece of trash…"

"You're welcome. It was my pleasure as a detective." I assured him "But did you come all the way only to thank me?"

"Yes, really." He said, wholeheartedly "My friend is safe thanks to you… That's enough for me."

"Then it is enough for me as well."

"Really…? Don't I have to pay the Agency…?"

"Well, I only investigated because I owed you in the first place. Now, we're even." I reminded him.

"Even so… The Agency was deprived of a detective for a few days, I should at least compensate with money, shouldn't I?"

"Whereas it is true that Kunikida would be too glad to receive payment for our work, I don't think it is necessary to "pay" us. Fox, you're an important informer for us… That's the least we could do for you." I smiled.

"Thank you…" He looked down "You're really kind…"

"I'm not… I'm just trying to be fair… But I am not a kind person. Far from that."

"Otherwise, it wouldn't have been so pleasurable for you to make him fall, something like this?" He grinned.

"Something like this…" I snickered "Thank you for everything, Fox. You always help us out, and it was a pleasure to return the favour. Now, I'll have to excuse myself… I'm rather tired, so I'll go back…"

"I'll come with you. I have no business left here, anyway." He put his mask back on "Besides, I don't get to escort a pretty lady everyday~"

I rolled my eyes, and refused the hand he was holding out to me. When he was not working for a client, the Fox would usually spend his time in pubs and bars, surrounded by women. I had actually forgotten that fact, since we had worked together for a few months.

"Don't be bothering."

"Did I do something wrong? Let me apologise, then, Ogawa." He rubbed the back of his head.

"It's alright, but as I said, I'm tired."

Anyone would love to be complimented… Yet, that night, it felt more bothering to me than agreeable. Beautiful…? Me? Men could be so hypocritical, even the friends close to me. I despised behaviours hiding any ulterior motive… Or even empty words destined to please me. What was the point, anyway? Human beings were weird creatures for making dishonesty a custom, whereas the truth, although it was oftentimes more painful than a sweet lie, would always triumph, at the end of the day. That was why I would never forgive myself for lying to Ruriko-chan. I had gone against my beliefs, and had failed to bring her back to my side. If only I had not taken the easiest path offered to me… Why, it was pointless to torment myself further, but, somehow, regrets still made me suffocate, from time to time…

"Ogawa…"

"... What are you doing here, Dazai?"

He was waiting for me in front of the door, back leaned on the wall and eyes indicating he had been lost in thoughts before my arrival.

"Waiting for you, obviously. I have to apologise for earlier. My insincere comment made you uncomfortable."

"Hoh…~ Why are you being so formal, all of a sudden?" I chuckled "You've never addressed anyone politely before."

"Because, my lady, I have offended you and want to make up for it by telling you the truth, and only the truth." He grinned, taking my right hand into his.

"Which truth, mister liar…~?"

"Why, only I know that you are so scrawny under your clothes, that only a kimono composed of several layers could hide your flawed body…~ That's why it suits you better than a cocktail dress~" He laughed at me.

"You're stupid…" I had a hard time holding back my laugh "But I have to admit, I do prefer that…!"

"I know…~ You're not like these superficial girls, after all…~"

"That you even thought for a second that a compliment would please me is disappointing~" I hummed.

"The truth, and only the truth…"

He sighed.

"I'm sorry again, for Ruriko-chan. I just wanted the two of you to be reunited, but, as I said, I miscalculated."

"It's alright. That's because Ruriko-chan is also different from your average teenager…~"

"You're a weird family." Dazai remarked, amused.

"Aren't we~?"