#nsft alternate universe

[milkyhoneybee]

You know how some offices have a dog or other pet to help keep workers calm and happy? I want to be an office hucow. I'd have a nice little inside barn set up where people could take a break and come and brush me or give me scritches/pat me, feed me things, or they could take me outside to watch me gambol about in the sun before their next meeting

Cows are, after all, very cute and friendly, and they make friends and love to play!

Of course, they also love to lick things, whether that's a sweet treat or something saltier (or more umami), pulling up a skirt or opening trousers to let me get my dextrous, curious tongue on whatever they have for me, lowing and mooing excitedly whenever I get a treat

And, obviously, I need to be milked regularly. My udders would be kept plump and drained through the day to get me making more and more milk (on top of the supplements and medicine they give me to keep my production at max rate), and every time I hit a new growth milestone for them, there would be a little team celebration

They attach me to a milking machine mostly, while I kneel and chew on oats or watch them in the office, occasionally shaking my head so the bell around my neck clangs and my big floppy ears flick around, my tail twitching. Sometimes though, people want to drink from my teats directly or they'll get a stool and milk me themselves-- it's actually considered part of people's onboarding process, learning how to milk me so I don't get too full since that's painful for me, and as cute as it is to see me leaking and mooing for release, it makes it more difficult for the cleaners, plus it's bad for my health. Plus, my milk is super good for everyone else to drink

As long as people clean up after themselves, they're allowed to fuck me whenever they want, especially when I go into heat. Sometimes they need to put me on a special breeding rig to keep me from interrupting calls and meetings when I'm too loud, a fat dildo plunging into my cow cunt with a ring gag or dildo gag in my mouth depending on how quiet they need me

People are always surprised at how much they can fit inside my pussy, but it still feels hot at wet and so good to fuck, even after I'm stretched out, though sometimes they might need to spank my rear to get me to tighten back up after a heavy use or stretching session

I'd be such a happy office cow, and all the workers in my company would know how much I loved them and wanted them to enjoy their jobs

[thatwriterchick222]

save a horse, ride... two cowboys? (arthur morgan and joel miller x f/reader) AU

summary:

“What’s a pretty young thing like yourself doin’ out here all alone?” The older man said as he approached you. You licked your lips, turning to peer inside the window of the saloon, spotting your fiance chatting with a few men at a poker table. “I’m not alone.” “That’s a shame.” The older man said, his eyes running down your body. “It is.” You replied. “Well…” The brunette leaned forward, peering through the same window you had looked through just prior, his eyes searching. “Your husband ain’t with you right now…” You smiled, trying not to let his smell of earth and smoke as he leaned closer to you cloud your judgment. “Fiance, actually.” “Even better.”

a/n: y'all this one is kinda crazyyyy... porn with plot at its finest. i also love combining my hyperfixations teehee

-------------

“Bend over this table, now .” The man’s gruff voice came from behind you, his large hands shoving you down onto the wooden table. You yelped as your cheek came into contact with the hard surface, your bare breasts pressed painfully down, your body completely trapped by his strong arms.

You struggled, but couldn’t fight the moan that escaped your throat when you felt something hard press into your backside through the rough material of his jeans. 

“Good thing we tied her up.” The other man said– Arthur, you think you heard him being addressed as– and you wiggled your arms that were tied behind your back, the rope looped around your ribcage a few times. 

All your clothes had been forcefully ripped off aside from your pantyhose. While you were practically naked, the men were fully clothed, the roughness of their attire giving you a painful reminder every time it brushed up against your bare skin. A shiver ran through you.

###

You had been out for a few drinks in town with your fiance, whom you honestly had gotten bored of within the span of a few minutes, as per usual. But, it wasn’t your choice to be engaged. Your parents arranged it, and you had no other option but to go through with it. 

This was where the so-called “high class” life had gotten you, you supposed. 

When you went out for a smoke, you spotted two men leaning casually up against the brick wall, their hats tipped down just enough that you had to squint to see their eyes in the dimness of the streetlights. They looked like proper cowboys.

From what you could tell, they both seemed older, but one of them more so. He had a salt and pepper beard and you saw the traces of even greyer hair underneath his tan leather hat. He had a green plaid shirt that had the top buttons undone, and you swore you could see a dusting of chest hair beneath it. 

You watched the man reach up and take a draw of his cigarette, noticing his hands. They looked like working hands, hands that had been through a lot. Strong hands. You watched him blow the cigarette smoke out through his nostrils. Then, to your surprise, he looked up at you, meeting your eyes with his own.

You blushed, averting your eyes immediately, focusing on the cigarette in your gloved hand that was almost burnt out. But you couldn’t help yourself as you looked back over at the man, and he was nudging the younger one beside him, drawing his attention to you as well. Oh shit .

The other man had lighter brown hair, his jawline wide and sharp, dusted in the slightest bit of stubble. He had an even bushier mustache on his upper lip, and his brow was furrowed as he looked up, eyes finding you immediately. 

###

The younger man, Arthur, came over to the other side of the table, abruptly reaching down and fisting his hand in your hair, yanking it back. You gasped as he craned your neck painfully, forcing you to look up at him, a playful smirk on his face.

Your mouth hung open as you stared at him, breathing heavily. His eyes flicked down your face, and you yelped as you felt the other man grinding himself into your backside, rubbing against your bare skin.

Arthur hummed. “Let me put that pretty mouth to use, hm?”

###

“What’s a pretty young thing like yourself doin’ out here all alone?” The older man said as he approached you, the metal of his spurs rattling on the concrete sidewalk. His voice was soft and deep, with an attractive southern twang. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head.

“Young?” You smiled. You were only twenty-four, but from what you had been through, and where you were, you didn’t feel like it.

The other man came up beside him, his hands resting on his gun belt. “Still… Alone, in a place like this?”

You licked your lips, turning to peer inside the window of the saloon, spotting your fiance chatting with a few men at a poker table. “I’m not alone.”

“That’s a shame.” The older man said, his eyes running down your body. You swallowed, shifting your weight to avoid the heat pooling in your stomach. It was intriguing, this outright form of flattery. You liked how forward they were, unlike the people you knew. Where you were from, even hinting at it got you a slap on the wrist. 

“It is.” You replied, tossing your used cigarette to the damp cobblestone sidewalk and watching it go out. 

“Well…” The brunette leaned forward, peering through the same window you had looked through just prior, his eyes searching. “Your husband ain’t with you right now…”

You smiled, trying not to let his smell of earth and smoke as he leaned closer to you cloud your judgment. “Fiance, actually.”

“Even better.” The older one said, reaching up and placing his cigarette between his lips, his eyes dark and hungry as they raked over you.

###

A rush of excitement shot through you when Arthur reached for his gun belt, undoing it with ease and unbuttoning his pants with one hand. He kept his other hand knotted in your hair, the hair you had taken so much time pinning up before you went out. 

God, your fiance was probably worried sick at that moment. Running around the saloon, asking people if they’d seen you, calling out your name on street corners. You fought a smile at the thought of him being worried sick, while you were tied up, pinned between two filthy cowboys in some barn in the middle of nowhere. Part of you wanted him to find you like this. To see you getting something you never got with him. 

When Arthur finally pulled himself out of the restraints of his pants, you felt a chill run down your spine at the size of him. You had only ever seen your fiance’s, and it was… underwhelming, to say the least. 

You swallowed thickly, feeling the other man’s warm hand run up your back, grabbing your arms that were tied. 

You were utterly helpless as Arthur guided himself to your parted lips. “Open wide for me, darlin’.”

to be continued on ao3!!!

[yeagrave]

unexpected lovers

[ click image for better quality, close ups below the cut<3 ]

[dr-the-afterlife]

You are dead. What now?

Welcome to The Afterlife, an 18+ Danganronpa sandbox roleplay server starring the dead and departed.

Our story takes place in the purgatory between Heaven and Hell. A place much like earth, though deserted save for you and your past classmates. Here you find yourself with a choice to make. Face your past and judgement, or run from it and remain here eternally.

Of course you may remain here as long as you wish. But there is only one way to undamn your soul should you choose to leave. And that requires repentance.

What do you say? Are you ready to face your demons?

[re-bon-bon-san]

Vox in Hazbin Hotel RadioStatic AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 Vox was frustrated. Extremely sexually frustrated.

Oh, who was he kidding. His feelings for Alastor ran much deeper than simply having the hots for him. But after ignoring it for so long and losing their friendship it had simply become too much.

And what better idea to fix your fucked up rivalry than by joining the Hazbin Hotel!?

What could go wrong?

Chapter 1 Welcome back (pesky feelings)

On the night when Vox had found out that Alastor had come back, he had laid in bed sideways, firmly hugging his blanket and fully awake, as strange realizations hit him. Val was at some sort of impromptu party. Probably banging the first guy he saw, he was sure. Not like Vox ever forbade him from doing that or even cared. His relationship with Valentino was strenuous most of the time anyway, making it open ended, which was making it easier. Especially because neither of them seemed in a hurry to commit. Certainly not when their entire business and integrity as overlords was on the line. But sometimes Vox regretted having met him. The constant arguments were getting on his nerves, Val’s tantrums and violent outbursts were only sometimes funny. Which was really strange, because Vox would say he was a pretty contained and in control man… But ever since the Radio Demon came back he had started acting exactly like Valentino did on a normal day. A volatile, hateful, violent man. And while it was probably true, he hadn’t gotten that heated since the last time he saw Alastor… It was all that man’s fault… he had ridiculed him, acted like there had been nothing between them at all, like it never mattered. Not like he would have acted less insulted being rejected, but he had to hurt his pride too and then run off.

Vox had calmed down, he had lived without him, he was focused more on business and influence and less on fighting. And yet now that Alastor was back and doing radio broadcasts, nothing of that even mattered anymore. It was like he could no longer be proud of his own work if Alastor as much as breathed in his direction. He wanted to prove himself, he wanted his acknowledgement, he wanted Alastor’s downfall! Did he want that? … That guy was an asshole, and yet he had missed him tremendously. All these long years of friendship, thrown out the window after one argument. All those times hanging out, bonding over their ideas and visions… laughing together, all the different restaurants they had visited in hell, all the different tailors. All of that… he wanted all of it… back. Vox laid his face flat on the bed and put the pillow over it, to block everything around him out. A shame it couldn’t block out his neverending, increasingly gayer getting thoughts.

He missed his voice, he missed his shenanigans, his face, his antics, his opinions, his everything, him. Not even the anger of their previous argument could overshadow it. Oh, who was he kidding! It had all always been about him. He had been inspired by him, he had admired him and it was Vox’s arrogance that had ruined it all. Alastor didn’t even have to try and he had still outdone him easily, making Vox cause a huge blackout.

It had no damn business being that hot .

Vox blamed it on having spent so many years with him for growing sentimental. He was still angry and hurt of course. But the way into the Radio Demon’s heart could not be won by those pathetic displays…

Wait… heart?

Vox groaned and gave up on sleep. He stood up groggily, pouring himself some whiskey with ice, as he lit up an LED lamp by simply ordering it to and fished out his phone…

He listened to the Radio Demon’s last broadcast. Cheery jazz music with screams of defeated overlords in the background. Warm nostalgia filled his heart and he took a big sip as he felt the nice burn of liquor make it down to his stomach. Alastor certainly knew how to elegantly demonstrate power. What was it that Vox wanted from him exactly? He couldn’t quite figure it out… If Alastor wasn’t as successful, handsome, charming and powerful Vox wouldn’t even like him! Vox was much more popular and always stayed relevant and yet… in his mind there was no one greater than this enigmatic man. More gulps followed and the Radio Demon’s velvety voice gently commented on his last song selection, having no damn business sounding so seductive.

Vox, of course, had listened to ALL of his broadcasts. Had started as a habit probably that he could not stop, then evolved into an outright addiction and now he did it to find out which new overlord had been sacked. Of course, that was all there was to it… if he felt shivers run down his back at the sound of Alastor’s voice, he paid it no mind.

His thoughts were very confusing… he needed to find out more about Alastor, where he had been for 7 years, what his plans were and whether he would be a threat to his further operations. How he could provoke him, engage with him, give him all of his attention- Yes, the radio broadcasts were helping to get him back into his old mindset when it was all fine again, the added relaxation and melancholic fondness he felt were only caused by the music, surely. 

How long had they been friends, before it had suddenly all ended one awful day? 40 years? 50 years? 

And Alastor wanted nothing to do with him, like it had all been nothing? He disappeared, making him worry his head off… Wondering if he was still alive, if it was his fault. Wanting to scream at him, wanting him back and to stay gone at the same time.

One thing was for sure, something had ignited in Vox the moment they started arguing. Something that had been buried deep and finally came out and had been festering, eating at him all these years. Why did it feel so good to be angry at Alastor? Why did he want to kick his ass and have the good old times back at the same time? His feelings and pride were hurt and yet there was angry heat in his chest, it was hard to breathe and his thoughts had been all occupied with him. And yet he felt relief.

Satan, how had he even survived these 7 years. Just barely, throwing himself into his work like a madman and having lots of distractions and connections on the side. Clearly… worth not as much, if now that Alastor was back it all seemed meaningless to him.

He finished his glass, unceremoniously pouring another one and scrolling on his phone.

Ah, there it was.

The only picture Alastor ever let another soul take of him. The only undistorted photo evidence of the man’s appearance. Vox should have been saddened by the photo of them posing together for this picture, but he could only smile. His fingers were slowly fondling his phone, moving over the picture as he took in the sight of the old photograph. Grayscale… but the day was ingrained in his memory.

More sips, more songs… he could almost picture it… sitting in Alastor’s studio like he had done before, seeing him work and in the evening they went to have dinner together. If Vox closed his eyes and just… yes, he picked the right moment, his voice came back to comment on another song and tell a short anecdote of his life… Vox felt so nice and warm, seeing Alastor in front of his inner eye, looking at him with his deep red shimmering eyes, whispering into his microphone.

And he tore his eyes wide open when he felt blood rush to his loins more quickly than he could stop himself. His first instinct was panic, the second was to blame it on the alcohol. And yet… he wanted more. He stared, open mouthed at Alastor’s picture, drinking in his sight, feeling way too hot and clouded. Oh, he felt so pathetic, but what he would GIVE to have the Radio Demon back. He was aching, pining... the heartache of the years catching up to him and his need grew even more persistent. “Fuck…”, Vox swallowed again, just like when Alastor had threatened him over the radio. He knew what Alastor did to his enemies… but couldn’t Alastor destroy him in … another way?

For the second time this evening Vox had given up on everything. His emotions were too confusing, he was too worked up and losing control. He was rock hard in his pants and Alastor’s broadcast, paired with his picture and the looming memories of him were quickly disarming him completely. Oh, he was SO glad Valentino was at a party, he didn’t need his judgment. Who the fuck needed Valentino when the Radio Demon existed? Vox bit his lip with a soft moan as he slipped a hand into his pants and pulled his member out of his pajama bottoms.

Just a quick, fucking wank and then he surely would have it out of his system… surely…

Like Alastor had been ‘out of his system’ after 7 years of absence.

He had enough sense to tell his smart lock to activate, he usually left his penthouse unlocked for Velvette or Valentino, but ooooh. Not tonight.

He quickly became breathless, panting softly as held the phone in one hand, listening to the voice vibrating through the device as his other hand glid over his dick.

He activated the phone’s bluetooth, to listen to the broadcast directly in his brain, almost as if Alastor was speaking directly into his ear.

He shivered, twitching hard in his own hand, looking over Alastor’s curves, the shapes of his arms, and legs, how his suit was made, his face, his soft fluffy ears.

He wanted to know how it all looked underneath, he knew how Alastor died and how scarred he was, yet it fascinated him. He wanted to run his hands over every scar, kiss and lick them. He wanted to feel his body against his, take him.

Oh, Alastor was a virgin, he was probably super tight and would whimper so sweetly. Precome gathered at Vox’s member as he jerked himself harder. He wanted to defeat Alastor, overpower him. He wanted Alastor to beg for forgiveness, beg for their friendship back, he wanted to tug on his antlers….

Who was he kidding? As if Alastor would ever sleep with him. Vox’s only chance was to try to be his friend again. 

If Alastor would at least hug him, hold him just once. Tell him how much he treasured all their years together.

Vox whined loudly and jizzed all over himself, squirming on the sofa, gaping like a fish out of water as his orgasm shook him to his very core.

He was lightheaded, he felt higher than on drugs, completely intoxicated. He cleaned himself on autopilot, turned off all devices, the lamp, finished his drink and walked, on extremely shaky legs back to bed, falling face first.

His entire body was vibrating, buzzing. It was all warm and tingly and sweet, almost bittersweet. So satisfied, so euphoric. He passed out in a blink, drifting off to sleep in a matter of minutes.

Vox really didn’t need the reminder on his phone that he had listened to Alastor’s broadcast before bed…

He had slept heavenly, sure, but that didn’t mean anything. He had a busy day and needed to get started.

As it was, the first thing that greeted him as he went to their shared living space was Valentino lounged all across the gigantic couch, barely dressed. He smelled like alcohol, perfume and sweat to a sickening degree. 

“Mnnhhh! Mornin’ Voxyyyy.”, he purred in a groggy voice.

Vox wasn’t sure you were supposed to feel disgust when you saw your boyfriend, but sometimes Valentino clashed a lot with his preferences. 

“I see you’ve had a productive evening, Val? Made any business deals?”

“No, hehe. But a couple friends!”, he swung his leg high, placing a heel on Vox’s chest. 

Vox flinched and then stared at it, carefully, almost reverently grabbing it and putting it back on the couch. Usually he liked such displays, but there was something about it today that irritated him.

“Val, careful! You could have hit my display.”

“Ohh, hahahaha, what’s a little scratch! You won’t die from it.”

“You know damn well they are expensive and a pain in the ass to replace. I have a fund set aside for stuff you break because it happens way too often.”

Sometimes Vox wondered if Valentino did it on purpose. He knew Valentino liked to break stuff and hurt and kill people, but the more time he spent with him, the more he started considering the possibility Valentino was out for his head. After all, he was rich and successful, betraying him by knowing so much confidential info of him, would be a piece of cake and daily life in hell. Vox had to dodge the things that had been carelessly thrown around by Val in blind rage, Val had a habit of blindly hurting people.

Vox, was an overlord, so he had no place to judge, but the horrifying things that Val did to his employee’s for seemingly little reason left an opening to think it might ever be directed to him. One of the reasons he always made sure to keep a semblance of professional distance between them.

Vox was physically stronger, but he was a bit rusty…

“Aaawwww, babyyy, come on…”, Val wrapped two of his long arms around his leg, whining like a puppy, “Can we have some morning fun, mhhh? I am still a little sore, but one more time should be fine.”

“Ah… that’s why you wanted me to come along? So I could watch…”, Vox sighed and shook his head.

“I never said you can’t join in, ehehehe. But maybe better not. His dick was bigger than yours.”

Why was he dating this man again? Ah, right. Money and power … similar goals and branch and because Val was sexy and charismatic. But that was like the minimum requirement to catch Vox’s interest.

“Cool. Take a shower, Val. And no tequila before breakfast! I am gonna be in a meeting soon.”, Vox shook him off and walked out.

So Vox had wanked off to his arch nemesis last night, there was NOTHING to panic over. That was totally normal. No, it would be STRANGE if that didn’t happen considering he’d known the goddamn Radio Demon for 70 years by now. No, they haven’t been friends for decades, but if you knew someone that long you’d either kill them or marry them. And if you wanted to do both at once, you have quite the problem. (He’d known Valentino for 50 years and his feelings for him weren’t nearly as intense, although he was A LOT easier to get along with.)

Noooo, no he wasn’t imagining their marriage. No, he wasn’t sitting in the meeting, daydreaming about kissing Alastor and going on dates. Oh, he had been Alastor’s fanboy and friend for ages, been obsessed with him. But for the first time in his life he purely craved Alastor’s affections, be it platonic or romantic. All, because he was back and the butterflies in his stomach were festering, like an unholy parasite.

He had been dreaming of defeating, hurting, even killing Alastor for 7 years… How did things suddenly change that drastically!? He saw him when he came back and that was it… and now he couldn’t stop thinking about him. Had he secretly thought all these compromising things about him in secret and now that he was back Vox could no longer hold back his true feelings? And his anger issues came from the abandonment and he didn’t actually want him dead? “Mr. Vox? Mr. Vox, are you listening?” “Oh, I am sorry… I had a long night. Can you repeat your last sentence?”, he put on his polite customer service voice.

When Vox was back from the meeting a couple hours later, Val… seemed in a very strange mood. Namely he threw Vox against the wall and started aggressively making out with him. The TV demon played along for a while and then pushed him aside, lifting a brow. “Don’t tell me, you are still drunk? … Don’t you have like… work to do?” Valentino slowly sunk to his knees, looking up at Vox like an excited, very lewd puppy. “We could squeeze in a quickie. I am still hungover though, open your pants.” “Booooooooooooys I brooought food. Bahahahahahaha, are you gonna bang in the living room again, with everyone seeing!?”

Vox shook his head, heading over to Velvette to see what she had gotten. “He is running from his responsibilities again, is what he is doing…” “VOOOOOOOXY, COME OOOOON. I will be good, comeeeee on. I didn’t mean it with the dick comment. It sure is nice, but he was not dating material.” “I am not jealous, Tino, we already established we are okay with it.” The moth demon stood slowly up again, towering over them, furrowing his thin brows and crossing his arms. “Yeeeeaaah? Why are you angry at me still?” “Because you’re annoying…”, Vox threw him a yogurt package, that ended up right in the middle of the moth’s face, made him stumble and fall backwards onto the couch, “Oh shit, I am sorry.”

He wasn’t. 

Vox already read the first article about himself and the power outage, subsequently realizing how much attention he had generated for the Radio Demon. Well, even if he had kind of failed the showdown, bad publicity was still publicity. This was the best way to get Alastor’s attention. And damn if he didn’t enjoy it. But he wanted more, he needed all of it… If he wasn’t careful, he might fuck everything up. Alastor was right on one thing. He wasn’t nearly as physically powerful and independent as Alastor. How did he do it? Where would he learn it?

Sir Pentious failed his task to infiltrate their quarters… well, to be expected of someone as unremarkable as him. Hmmm, what if he skipped the middle man and went there himself? (No one could be trusted to be loyal in hell after all.)

Of course, to spy on Alastor and find out all his secrets and conquer him.

Not seduce him, no, not at all.

After all, how dare Alastor turn all of his attention to some sanctimonious brats and barely even focus on radio broadcasts? Except, if he found something with much more potential in the long run. Something worth exploiting. Vox definitely had to see that. Or did he? Would he really dare do that? Possibly ruin his reputation to get back at his archenemy/friend/crush (whatever)? Absolutely. Everything be damned, this was the opportunity of his life. He just wasn’t sure if he could actually do it. It was such a big step, so risky, so different to what he usually did. And there was no guarantee it would all work. He had to prepare carefully for the operation and explain it to his allies.

Damn that Louisiana yerk.

Vox had thought he had successfully survived the second day of going crazy over Alastor, as he stepped into his penthouse, completely drained from the day’s activities. He didn’t expect to be turned, tripped up to fall against the bed and then pinned down. Val was peering hungrily at him with a wide mouthed grin. “Baaaaabyyyy!”, he leered at him, “I gotchu a present!” “For fucks sake, Valentino. Can you not do that like normal people?” “No. Ehe…”, the moth demon gently lifted himself off the bed and reached down into a bag to retrieve a little box, “I remember you wanted to buy one of those new models, but weren’t sure which one. I gave them your technical specifications and they got the best one!” Ah, one of the gadgets Vox wanted to get, but forgot due to the excitement of the last days. He grinned at how observant Valentino was and through how much trouble he had gone to get it. “Awww… really? For me? I gotta test if that’s some good shit.”

“I am not dumb. I checked!” “Are you?”, Vox chuckled, opening the box and staring curiously at it, then putting it on the floor, “Anyway who cares.” Valentino was about to get offended, but Vox simply pulled him into his arms, giving him a little kiss: “Thaaaank you so much.” “Oh yeah, you better thank me.”, Valentino climbed further into the bed, following with more kisses, expecting to be coddled up real soon.

It wasn’t all bad, otherwise Vox would have stopped trying quickly. But he had his doubts. Sometimes he didn’t even want to call Valentino his boyfriend but his ‘forced acquaintance’ , even ‘his job’ . Great. If something ever happened to Vox, he wasn’t sure Valentino would even bat an eye, except for all the stress of running the company. … 

But sometimes Vox just ignored that feeling. … It was nice to feel wanted. To have someone to hold and tell your problems to. Even if he and Valentino… seemed to just be biding their time, using favors. If they both were aware of it, it didn’t matter, right?

[fandom-friday]

Hellooooooooo! Happy Fandom Friday! This week I want everyone to read Falling for Mister Batchbury, a Regency AU by @crosshairlovebot

It is SO angsty and SO romantic, it's perfect for all the Jane Austen/Bridgerton fans who need their tension, social divisions, and an unchaperoned walk in the gardens 👀👀👀👀 and it looks like its the first part in a multi chapter fic!! I can't wait to see how reader and Mister Batchbury defy the fates and end up together!

Also, I can't help but think of this quote with it--

“In affairs of love, a young heart is never in more danger than when attempted by a handsome young soldier.” – Susanna Rowson, Charlotte Temple

Ha! What a fun AU! (Sorry, my immediate first thought was of Hunter in Regency clothing with the bandana still hahahaha). I am such a sucker for Regency stories and the TENSION that always seems to come with them, and by the looks of it, this is FULL OF THAT. You LOVE to see it! Thanks for the rec!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[transfemme-floofer]

I was dusting the house as normal, like I did every week when I saw a strange golden card note on the kitchen table labelled “for my first ancilla”

“Strange” I thought, Mistress Luci was not normally like this, sure she was affectionate at times, but that’s normal for humans to feel that way about their pets. Curious, I opened it, it said: “3pm, on the private beach, near the cove, dress your best”

The time came and I walked down the garden and down the cobbled steps onto the beach. I was dressed in Merrel sandals instead of the standard Imperial Serva heeled sandals, a pink and white pleated skirt given as a gift for good behaviour instead of my summer cherry skirt or my standard issue skirt , a Very Special Occasion (MEO-Mucha Especial Ocasión) scented wick away slave blouse instead of the standard version, and a Peugeot love heart shaped chain link Titanium alloy collar instead of the standard oval chain link medicollar

Mistress looked at me up and down like five times before saying a word. “You’re… beautiful” she finally said, clearly rendered speechless. I curtsy in front of her, “thank you Domina” i replied, remembering to use Latin as well as my native British “where are we going” she had no obligation to reply and so kept silent as we walked to the cove admiring the waves and the cool afternoon, until I could see it, her Amphibicar Fiat Chariot (think like an Italian Ford Crown Victoria or Opel Omega), those things had been around 2610 AUC (1867), but this was a 22nd generation rear mid engined 2766 (2012) Amphibian vehicle variant (itself in it’s 10th generation since 2680 (1947)) with a 5.5L Ferrari Turbo V8, modular and hydraulically adjustable bench seats front and rear, four wheel drive courtesy of Lancia and a luxurious 3-speed hydraulic automatic transmission (with three electro-locked overdrive gears tacked on in the 2760 refresh for fuel and performance, as well as to hide its age) yanked out of the Buick Sappho coupe “Mistress this is wonderful” I turned to see her and say thank you, but found her on one knee

“Julia, I have legally submitted a form for us to be married, so that you won’t have to worry about losing me, your first constant and comfort in a long time” she pulled out a finger print scanner, “all I need is your fingerprint”, I pressed down excitedly, then my tabula got a notification

“Married to Doctor Luciana Antonia Presenti MD, PhD”

And another, from Fiat Intelligencia Automobilli “Authorised Guest of Luciana Presenti’s Intelligent Control System on her 2766 Fiat Chariot”

Mistress added on, “use it wisely”

I oblige “Fiat, open doors-“

Mistress chides playfully “No slave, stupid slut, type it out in the app”

I open the app and find the command room, where I find Mistress had already done test runs, I type in, “open driver door and say “welcome Domina””. It does so flawlessly and without hesitation. Mistress blushed “thanks pet, really appreciate it” she found the 2730s Buick touchscreen still in there with updated visuals and apps, but the same size of the screen and the same working concept. She typed in, “open passenger left back door and give the back ambient red gel lights and put on brothel music”. It did so. “very funny mistress”

(Another case of part two when I feel like it)

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

The Trapper's Trap - Chapter 4

Fathers

Summary: Originally written for The Butcher Bingo.

Set in a Modern AU. Once upon a time, Hiccup gave Dagur a chance after everything he'd done to him growing up. Only 19 years old, his life is turned upside down all over again and Hiccup wonders if he'll ever truly escape him.

Warnings: Emotional and psychological abuse, mild sexual content

Rating: Mature

Words: 4 599

Fandom: How to Train Your Dragon

Characters: Hiccup, Dagur, Stoick, Gobber, Httyd ocs (Dr. Jones)

Pairing: Dagcup

Author's Notes: It's been fun getting to update this fic weekly. It's what I wish I could've done with Just a Kid.

I fully believe that Dagur has some kind of pregnancy kink.

Enjoy!

[boybasher]

[thetentaclecommander]

St. Valentine (18+)

I will never not be amused by toying with religious/myth themes with these two. It's just too easy and fun! Here's some borderline sacarligious smut. ________________________________________________ St. Valentine (18+)

Rated E; erotic dreamy porn with a lot of Judeo-Christian/Greco-Roman imagery mixed in from both povs Fandom: Resident Evil Main Ship: Nemesis/Jill Valentine Chapters: 2/2 CW: some dubcon in places, implied mental and physical manipulation, straight up murderkink thoughts (full tag list on AO3) ________________________________________________ Excerpt: I hold you tightly, softly as you breathe and make those sounds that entice me, the sounds you make only for me. I sniff along your throat, your flesh quivering and arching against my teeth. You do this and every time I can't help but show my longing, my hapless need for you with hungry teeth against your skin, my dripping saliva coating you. My offerings are meager but you are to be worshiped, just like this. You are my everything, my saint, the sole thing in this world that makes me good. Your eyelids flutter, slitting open to show the faint glimpses of blue; faded almost silver in color, your pupils are blown wide but staring intently at me. Only me. They widen as I mark your throat; a trail of moon-shaped marks against pale skin each with halos of red and black pattern on what you freely gave. Let me worship you. Care for you. Bleed you like the hungry worm I am.

A few places are dotted with twin holes perfectly spaced in the moons; small wet tassels of red trail down from each. And you can only smile in that pained way as your lips curve just so; I can only pant as I feel a trail of thick excitement weep from the thick meat between my legs in response. You have so much power over me. I love to hate it. You hate to love it. It doesn't matter now, does it? It doesn't matter as I tilt those lips open, one thumb is all it takes for you to concede to me. One thumb that could carelessly press in and break such a perfectly made jaw, could crush in your lovely teeth to pulp - instead, I just look at them, peer at them before I with so much effort to not break them trail my tongue against your quivering lips. Your flesh sheen with the wetness of me and some of your red as my tongue drifts along your incisors, your molars, your flat and sharp teeth so soft in comparison to mine, but prized so much more. Somewhere, you push back - as much as I allow - and my tongue is trapped in your mouth. Your growls, higher than mine but darker, needy, demanding, tell me I stepped out of line, that I am to give to worship you for your sake, not mine. My arms surround your head, dwarfing you. Your hair, your very human hair spill out from the small clips and bands and other items you would use to pin it back. The white-blond carpet fans out along the sheets, a novel thing for one who has no ability to grow hair. I want to rip them out and see if your scalp bleeds from the loss, but I remove my maw from yours to sniff your long protrusions instead. I want so many things but I am not to take but to give. I am given the prize of how good you smell, your scent, your sweat, your fear, your blood, your lust, your all, so purely 'Jill'. Your hands, so soft, so calming stroke along my arms, then down against my face. So soft, you bless me with their touch. Your hands are more steady than mine, assured, aware, touching with no hesitation along my face. I lift up and purr in contentment from the attention; I even lightly nip against one, showing care to my most perfect one made so by my own works. I want to defile you, oh so much. (Continue reading St. Valentine on A03)

[liysashome]

college roommate sullyoon

sub!sullyoon x fdom!reader + college roommate au

if you're uncomfortable with any of these topics below please do not read.

WARNINGS : size difference ( ? ), public fucking, fingering, clit play, mentions of toy usage.

err i don't really know know what tags to add like smut ect.. because i have not made a fanfic since i was like 16 years old. 🤓

you are red and sullyoon is pink

"Fuck, wait up y/n.. you're walking too fast!" Sullyoon said breathlessly as she tried catching up to you, she had a bit sweat starting to form on her forehead. She even had her hands on her knees as her breath quickened, looking up at you.

"Cmon Yoona, we're about to be late." You said, looking down at the girl right below you. You were a bit disappointed on how she made you both late because her makeup took forever.

Once you both finally arrived to class with literally only a few seconds to spare. You two took a seat down next to each other, sadly having to sit in the back of class. But the last time you and Sully were in the back of the classroom? Uhm.. things were a little messy. Just glad that nobody caught you two in such an act.

Sullyoon had her thigh sitting on top of your leg as the boring class proceeded on. You felt her shift towards you just to ask 'the question' "You think we can just.. fuck in the middle of class again? I don't think anyone would notice."

"Yoona are you serious?"

"What.. do you think I'm not? You left me hanging last night." She responded, disappointed and crossed her arms.

"Fuck, if you weren't so cute I'd say no. I can't resist your little pouty face.." You said. "Cmere." As Sullyoon moved slightly closer you moved your hands to the bottom of her skirt, slowly start to find their way to the waistband of her panties. You pulled them until her pretty and pink wet sex was slightly revealed.

"Already wet for me?" You said before plunging two fingers in. Sully bit her lip trying her best to take it all in and not make a single sound. She made a small muffled whimper as your fingers worked, and damn was she tight. Sullyoon looked towards you as you continued playing with her pretty little pussy, you started to rub your thumb against her clit. She let out another whimper, just.. a little quiet one before she looked back towards the teacher.

"Fuck y/n.. you're hitting the spot." Your fingers were quite long and slender, and by spot she somehow meant her g-spot. I mean.. you were a little bigger than her and you knew you had to be a little fragile with her, TREAD CRAFULLY.

"Fuck, ngh.. I'm getting close." Sullyoon whispered into your ear. "Seriously? It only takes me a feel minutes to make you cum? You have to be joking." She let out a small moan as she felt it building up and also as you started to pump your fingers in and out of her pussy, rubbing her clit even faster. After about a minute she had finally reached climax, her eyes rolled back as she bit her lip harshly. You chuckled as you took your fingers out, you started to lick the mess she had just made onto your fingers.

"You're such a bad girl Yoona, just wait till I get that vibrator and my whole strap. You'll get the full sensation at the dorm.." You said before you moved a strand of her brown hair out of her face. "You'll be screaming my name and begging for more in no time."

well i hoped you enjoyed? because i have not wrote a fic in a while chat.. and uhm this one was kind of short. 😞

[estel-eruantien]

Hiiiiiiiiiiii I'm here for Crystal Force NSFW headcanons please? Can we just do the full alphabet. List 2, the Sexy ABCs please?

ABC List 2

CRYSTAL FORCE

Aspen/Abbie/Nick/Cherry/Nyx/ + Kenzie

A ─ After care.

This group is so good about taking care of each other. Nick, as their mentor, is very good about being both the firm hand (sometimes literally) and the gentle caregiver.

He and Kenzie both are quick to spearhead aftercare duties (Kenzie because she doesn’t participate in intercourse, but is all for some cuddles)

Aspen and Abbie are likely to stay curled up together for hours after sex, and oftentimes others join them, just laying together in silence.

Everyone in the polycule loves to cuddle!

B ─ Breeding.

I didn’t really think yes to this one until Mad suggested Cherry and Aspen and now FULL SEND it. They absolutely indulge in that kink when it’s just the two of them.

C ─ Condoms.

Yes, they especially use them with Abbie, even after they’re no longer rangers.

D ─ Dreams.

Cherry probably has the most wet dreams out of the crew, oftentimes jumping whoever was the target of her dreams (oftentimes Aspen or Nyx because because she enjoys domming them)

E ─ Experimenting.

They all like to experiment. Abbie, due to her abilities, takes things slower than the rest, but still enjoys trying new things. The whole group has such a unique dynamic that they have to try new things to suit everyone’s tastes.

F ─ First time.

Aspen wasn’t shy toward sex when his relationship began with everyone. He had sex with Nick first, and Cherry a close second.

G ─ Games.

I love the idea of Nick and Cherry playing a game to decide who’s more dominant. And I imagine Cherry is one to play fight and wrestle her partners.

They are all definitely interested in roleplay!

H ─ Humour.

Oh yeah, absolutely. The goofiest bunch

I ─ Infidelity.

No, these guys are so loyal to each other. They were all raised by rangers, they all know each other in a way no one else would. They will always support one another.

J ─ Jewellery.

Kinda like his Papa, Aspen likes the idea of collars and piercings.

K ─ Kissing.

Aspen loves kisses. Cherry kisses him all over, leaving lipstick stains across his skin. He loves Nick’s biting kisses. And he loooveess to kiss Nyx and Abbie softly, all over their faces and on top of their heads.

L ─ Lingerie.

Nyx and Aspen have some “matching sets” that Cherry picked out for them. Abbie also has a few. Nick doesn’t have any, but he appreciates that everyone else does.

M ─ Masturbation.

Aspen loves it when he’s ordered to masturbate in front of his partners. That’s the only time he really does it, and he is very open to toys.

N ─ Nudes.

Cherry and Abbie have a contest every once in awhile to see who get a reaction out of Nick first with the amount of nudes they share with him. It’s like a double win if he sends one back!

O ─ O’clock.

Normally in the evening as it’s a good way for them to wind down, but they are no stranger to the quickie when the need strikes.

P ─ Public.

Aspen and Nick have done a little, Cherry once or twice at a club or concert, but not much.

Q ─ Questions.

They are all great at communicating and value that as a priority in their relationship. There are no taboo themes, they are willing to talk about anything with each other.

R ─ Recording.

Hell yes! They go back and watch them together, sometimes as a way to tease them. “Look at how pathetic you sounded,”

S ─ Spanking.

Aspen likes it a bit, but only from Nick. None of them are really physical with one another like that.

T ─ Turn ons & offs.

Aspen is a brat as a submissive and a softy of a dom. He loves to rile up and tease Nick and Cherry, and in some ways for Abbie and Nyx as well. Aspen enjoys making Nyx blush.

None of them would do anything super gross, no potty stuff.

U ─ Unusual.

Aspen and Cherry went camping and had sex in the tent, which was pretty fun.

V ─ Video call.

Aspen definitely would if he had to be long distance with his partners.

W ─ Walk of shame.

Stealing from Mad on this one - Kenzie has definitely shown up at the wrong time many times. Aspen tried to make up for it with snacks and extra kisses at night.

X ─ X-rated.

Yeah, I think they might watch a little porn for inspo and whatnot.

Y ─ Yucky.

No potty stuff!

Z ─ Zones.

Aspen’s neck and sides are particularly sensitive and he loves having his hair played with. His partners can read him like a book, so they all know where he’s sensitive haha

[re-bon-bon-san]

Vox in Hazbin Hotel RadioStatic AU

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

While Vox was still agonizing over Alastor and forgetting everything around him in the process, a storm was brewing.

Now he definitely had an excuse to run away...

Chapter 2

I’m gonna make you wish (that you stayed here)

The chances that Alastor and Vox would ever be friends again, were very slim of course, but the only shot that Vox had to go off. He had become way too attached to give that up now. It was the only thing he had left… if Alastor barely even saw him as a worthy opponent (raw physical power wise for a fight, he wasn’t wrong).

What if… by completely unrelated means, completely on the off chance, they would ever date and get intimate? … Well, of course it would probably just begin with getting each other off, some sloppy blowjobs, some dry humping and teasing. But if more happened? Vox saw himself as a Top, but he knew Alastor was very particular about where people touched him and very sensitive. Oh, he would definitely not bottom, even if a more passive approach would suit him. Likely, it might ruin the moment if they would start arguing about it, both unprepared for the situation…

It’s not like he never experimented with it… when you liked men (and he liked both men and women) you would get curious with this kinda thing and try out different kinks. But he liked destroying other people and pleasing them much more. But perhaps… He had never bottomed for someone else and he would probably never do it for Valentino… But for Alastor… it was probably incredibly irrational, the chances were super slim. But it never hurt to be prepared and it was super pleasing too. So why not?

In the bathroom he made sure to empty his bowels and clean himself properly. And yet as he reached in with two lubed fingers as long as the warm water was running, he still hissed loudly and gripped the shower wall. It had been way too long since he had done that and he was super sensitive, his walls aching around his fingers, struggling to widen. Well, he was certainly ready now, but everything hurt.

Vox started small, with plugs, gently playing with his entrance as he tugged on his length. He didn’t even do much with it. Over the next few days he tried to wear it during the day, even if just to spice up his work. Usually when Valentino would not discover it in his horny frenzy. He really didn’t need that right now.

How had he gone from wanting to tear his rival a new one, to getting off to listening to his voice?

Well, he still wanted to do the former, although more for his ego… and well not seriously, not deadly. Just to prove himself. And when that was over, he wanted to jump his bones, possibly.

Had Vox always craved Alastor? Had he always had feelings and desires of this kind, but kept them under wraps? Never let them come out? Suppressed them for his own good, was never aware of it while he was still close to Alastor?

Eventually he ended up in his bedroom again one afternoon, door locked, bluetooth connected to a long audio recording only featuring Alastor’s voice without interruptions and put on repeat.

Vox slipped out of his clothes and hissed as he pulled out the plug, his insides were so determined to keep in. Would they slowly undress each other when it came to it, or rip the clothes off each other fiercely, impatiently? Both sounded amazing…

This time he needed no liquor to get going. 

He had sex with Valentino a day ago, but it wasn’t doing as much for him. It was still nice, but the novelty of it had worn off ages ago. In fact something always seemed to be lacking.

The lube felt cold and soothing against his agitated entrance and he had soon worked himself open again, gently clenching and relaxing to the sound of Alastor’s soothing voice, feeling the heat build up in his core and for his length to stirr.

Could Alastor overpower him in a fight and instead of killing him, tear his pants off him and claim him? Fill him up and make him scream, secure his hands and legs, making him unable to escape... Breed him nice and deep for ages, until Vox was a quivering mess, begging for mercy or for more.

Vox was shuffling in his drawer, pulling out a small dildo, which he positioned in front of his entrance and slowly pushed it in. It took a bit of maneuvering, but eventually he had it two thirds inside and exhaled with a shaky moan. He kept gently pushing it in and out, clenching and relaxing like he remembered he had to do while his other hand stroked over his erect penis.

Eventually he might be able to do it without discomfort, come without having to stroke himself, but right now, he needed to relax some more. 

“Oooooh…. Alastor…”, he gently mewled with closed eyes, nuzzling into the sheets, letting himself go completely in his fantasy.

Alastor was so pretty, so elegant, so witty and handsome. Would he slowly seduce him, pin him to the bed? Give him that hooded, lidded blood red gaze, paired with a radio static filled compliment? Would he drive Vox to insanity on the sheets, wrapped around him so firmly?

Vox moaned louder, stroking faster as he tried working himself open with more precision. It still felt weird having something up his ass as he felt a pressing feeling that wasn’t quite pleasurable, but his regular training and the thought of who it was for was what aroused him to levels he had never felt possible. This was new, this was exciting. He had never known Alastor would turn into his personal kink!

Would Alastor be more the man that was rude in bed? Telling him insults, being mean? That roughly fastened him with his tentacles, used his demon powers to destroy his insides, fucked him with no mercy? Would it be something personal because of their loaded history???

Oh, he didn’t fucking care, he wanted Alastor in any way, he didn’t even care who topped. He just wanted to fuck Alastor, to have Alastor, to hold Alastor, to-

“AAAHHHHH! BAAABY….”, his first orgasm came way too quick.

It had not even been 10 minutes and Vox had pathetically spurted all over his chest, squirming around on the bed, huffing in agitation.

He wasted no time and spread his legs wider, taking a good grip on the sex toy and started searching for his prostate. It took even more maneuvering as he tried to remember the illustrations, but eventually the quivering of his entire anus sent him confirmation that he had found it. He started hitting it each time. Moved it in tact with Alastor’s speech. He bit his lip, feeling his length twitch again, trying to breathe evenly. Every sound came out as a sweet whimper and moan. He had no idea anal could feel so great!

“Mhhhh, fuck me, Alastor… please. Until I can’t. Haaah! Take it anymore…”

Upon realizing how much his length was twitching again, he grinned in a satisfied way, daring to make the toy bottom out inside. He mewled in enjoyment, toying with his nipple, cupping his chest and stroking over it with his thumb as he pumped it inside with a loud hard slap.

“Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!” , it was a loud, long moan, making his eyes roll back and make him revert to panting quickly as a strange tingly feeling started in his anus, tugging upwards through his muscles and making shivers run up his spine. His spine arched, his toes curled, he grabbed onto the sheets for dear life.

He began to sweat, feeling so hot and so nicely worked, Alastor’s voice the only anchor he had to the here and now.

“MMMMHHH. Deeper, Alastor… ah, Alastor… harder.”

He lasted longer this time, about twenty minutes of turning his insides and his brain into mush. He was getting utterly desperate and grasped his length towards the last minutes, working himself to completion and creamed himself again.

A strange, euphoric feeling started building up inside of him, beginning at the inner depths of his walls, running over his loins and up. A tugging, quivering, fluttering, prickling. Vox felt like the lewdest slut in one of Valentino’s porn movies as he realized he just had an anal orgasm on top of a regular one. On his first try too! 

He was so glad Valentino didn’t know, otherwise he’d have much more stuff to worry about….

Vox saw stars, panting heavily and mewling as the aftershocks of his intense session were assaulting him anew. He let go of himself, having the sense to wipe himself, before leaning back in the bed with closed eyes, trying to catch his breath. The toy was still inside of him, so snug and wet.

He really didn’t wanna pull it out yet, it was so comfy and it had worked him open so well. 

He just listened with close eyes to more of Alastor’s voice, slowly coming to his senses, nearly falling asleep.

And then hid his screen underneath a tightly clutched blanket in shame.

He had fingered and fucked himself to the thought of his rival just now! What the hell was wrong with him!?

Clearly a lot, if sex with his boyfriend wasn’t doing much for him. Once again, he probably had no chance of even getting a date with Alastor, but if he was SO DAMN desperate he might as well visit the goddamn hotel. If he couldn’t have enough of Alastor he might as well try his luck instead… 

If Alastor knew about what he did in bed, he’d be screenless soon enough.

Nevertheless… after he turned off the recording and got comfy he fell into a dreamless, relaxing sleep. Wishing the blanket were Alastor’s arms.

No, clearly he wanted more from Alastor than the simple carnal pleasures … If it was that easy their friendship would have never come into fruition in the first place. No, the more physical cravings came after the fallout, when yearning, anger, tension and adrenaline had mixed into a heady concoction of desire. When wanting to hit and please Alastor had melted into one and the same need. Vox’s sadomasochistic inclinations had already been known to him for ages, but it was the first time he had found about them in such an emotional context.

Especially because his desire for the Radio Demon had not come out of nowhere and not even the argument and fight that came after.

He had fallen for him slowly, unbearably so. All this fanboying and friendship must have utterly confused his brain. 

Clearly wishing for the friendship to be back did not even seem nearly enough, with Vox’s fantasies quite literally escalating in front of his inner mind.

Why was he imagining confessing his love to Alastor and kissing him all over WHEN ALASTOR ALREADY REJECTED HIS BUSINESS PROPOSAL. Oh, Vox was ridiculous . He knew!

But that was when his other feelings came in handy… clearly he enjoyed an intellectual back and forth, a worthwhile rivalry… even if it wasn't blows that were exchanged. 

No, maybe his only chance really was within the Hazbin Hotel… but whether he would actually do that?

He had been agonizing over that thought for days. He was unfocused, rattled. All of his thoughts were only about Alastor. So nothing new? As they had been for about 7 years!?

Ha, more like 77 years.

Vox could throw himself against the wall… or out the window. That sounded even better.

He didn’t expect he’d forget the Overlord meeting … 

That Alastor would be at…

And that Velvette went to instead. 

Vox was definitely losing it, but it was too late to care now. He needed some kind of plan, some sort of spark of inspiration…

… he just didn’t imagine it would arrive in such an aggressive form.

It was a lazy morning. He was cuddling with Valentino and still asleep. The moth was running his hands over his bare stomach and absently looking at his phone, while Vox was nuzzled into his side.

It was not a rarity for Vox to have wet dreams or sport morning wood, especially if he and Valentino had been active the night prior…

But the moth didn’t expect Vox to moan out a long and lewd ‘Alastor’ . His blood ran cold and disgust filled him. Yes, Vox was indeed flushed and humping the blanket.

“NOPE! No, eeeww…”

He quickly untangled himself from the TV demon and rushed out of his bedroom.

Of course he knew how important the Radio Demon was to him, of their long history and his obsession. But it had gotten to an almost unbearable point when he had disappeared. The moth demon thought that Vox had calmed down a little bit and enjoyed his Overlord power together with them. But of course they didn’t matter when his beloved Radio Demon was here! What was so much better about him!? He clenched his teeth and huffed, going on to make breakfast alone.

It wasn’t like everything was perfect with them anyway… Their relationship was never consistent, Vox would get fed up with him constantly. Valentino never realized he could ever have a similar reaction to him, but he was seething. If there would be one demon he would be jealous of Vox fucking, it would be the goddamn Radio Demon . The fucker probably knew Vox in and out… the only one who could really compete with Valentino in that regard. If Alastor wasn’t such a wimp, they could even have made it a threeway, but he didn’t even look into Vox’s direction. That prude probably preferred monogamy anyway. Valentino threw a couple cups to the floor, before he was calm enough to have some coffee. 

Vox elected to come out of the bedroom to the living room an hour and a half later, all dressed, smiling and humming a cheerful tone, as if he hadn’t been caught having a compromising dream. 

Valentino wasn’t even looking at him, frowning with crossed arms and chomping on some cookies. Velvette was scrolling on her phone as always, but gave Vox a warning sideways glance, then squinted into Valentino’s direction and back to Vox. The Tv demon simply gave her a questioning glance. “Good morning… It appears you’ve had breakfast already.” “Morning, Vox.”, Velvette muttered and changed her tone, “Someone’s in an unusually good mood.”

Valentino was still ignoring him and Vox tilted his head, trying to think of what could have happened. Was it someone else or was it him that did something? Well, there was no way to know. He was great at negotiations though, so he could fix any mistakes he would undoubtedly now make.

“Valentino… Did something happen…? Are you okay?”

The moth’s shoulders tensed and he put the phone aside, fire igniting in his eyes as he looked at Vox in contempt. It was such a scalding and foreign look, that it made Vox flinch. He only had seen Val direct this expression at someone else, never at him.

His tone was hysteric and cold, very sarcastic: “Something HAPPEN!? ” He put the phone aside and rose to pull size, towering over Vox and waving his hands. Velvette was so used to his antics, she didn’t even react. 

“ALASTOR FUCKING HAPPENED!”, Valentino was screaming by now, “ HOW DARE YOU SAY HIS NAME IN THE BED WHERE I SLEEP WITH YOU. YOU HORNY FOR HIM!?”

Oh, so the cat was out of the bag. Even though Vox was really more obvious than he had realized. He didn’t think Valentino would be so angry about it. Even Velvette looked up from her phone to see the show.

The TV sounded more panicked than he wanted to be, raising his voice, when that was usually enough to put Valentino into his place: “I HAD NO IDEA! I-I-I AM NOT. HE DID- YOU KNOW H-H-HE MAKES ME ANGRY, OK!?”

Valentino kicked the table next to them full force, making it move aside, screaming even louder: “HE DOESN'T 'JUST' MAKE YOU ANGRY, YOU WANT TO BANG HIM. ITS NOT LIKE YOU HAVE A CHANCE WITH HIM BUT CAN YOU SHUT UP ABOUT HIM!? YOU ARE MAKING ME JEALOUS. “

Velvette muttered under her breath, unable to believe what was really happening. They had argued before, but never like THAT and never had Valentino started the argument either. “What is happening….”

Valentino had inched closer, all four hands raised, claw-like fingers grasping the air around him, threateningly coming closer. Oh, but not with Vox! If that was how Valentino thought he could get his will, then to hell with him! To hell with everything, with the fleeting happy memories. Vox’s fuse broke and would forever seal the deal. Who did Valentino think he was, thinking he could control his life, commanding who he liked, telling him what to do!?

“OH VAL, YOU KNOW THAT THIS BETWEEN US IS NOT SERIOUS ANYWAY. HOW OFTEN HAVE WE BROKEN UP NOW? TWICE THIS MONTH ALREADY!? ”

There was silence for a couple seconds. And then Valentino took a swig faster than he could react. Vox could hear the slap reverberate through his screen, throwing his head and entire body back. The protective film ached, but held out. He lost balance and fell to the floor, rather ungracefully hurting his back, huffing in indignation.

If this was how this was gonna be… with Valentino being violent with him too, then all those years with him were truly wasted. He had tried to steer him away from it. Yes this was hell, but why did he think he could change Valentino? Why was he dating him… why was he WORKING WITH HIM!?

He jumped up with agility, electrifying and puffing up, his voice dripping with static and all distorted. 

“DID YOU JUST SLAP ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FUCKING WHORES!? FOR REAL!? That's fucking it... I AM LEAVING!”, he turned around dramatically and briskly.

Valentino sounded hysterical again, but still angry, grabbing onto Vox’s arm roughly: “Wtf do you mean you are 'leaving'!? We share a building!”

“LET FUCKING GO, BITCH. How dare you!”, Vox roared, competing with Val who was stronger.

However once he got his hand back and made to turn again, he was tripped up by one of his long legs and grabbed again. 

Vox rolled across the floor, dodging Valentino’s long arms, letting static electricity charge through his entire body and form a line from hand to another, daring him to come closer. Velvette speechlessly stared at the two of them, ready to be at each other’s throats.

“Oh my god guys, you have never argued so bad, what!? You can’t just start hitting each other! And you can't just leave… Vox! ”

The TV demon’s voice deepened, his pupils widening, the right spiral of his eye moving back and forth in a crazed manner: “Bahahahahahahha, yes I can and it's time I get back some of my PERSONAL space from you, YOU LOSER.”

“AND WHERE TO!?”

“The Hazbin FUCKING Hotel, ahahahahhaha.”

Vox was still laughing by the time he reached his room and began to pack his things in an excited hurry. The other Vee’s speechlessly looking after him. “He is kidding me, right?”, Valentino swallowed the knot in his thin neck.

“I think he is serious....”

Vox had been dreaming about that for a week at least. It was the perfect reason to leave! He didn’t imagine he would be able to just drop everything and go, but now that he no longer had anything else to go back to, it didn’t even matter. He felt sorry for Velvette, but it was time he let go of thinking he could ever form a worthwhile relationship with the porn lord. He should have known.

It felt so easy to pack his bags, he was so relieved. His giant suitcase with shrinking features, was soon filled to the brim. He stepped out of V tower singing a happy tune. And he was just as excited when he stood in front of the gigantic towering red building that was the bright Hazbin Hotel.

The doorbell was rather loud and he counted the seconds, thinking of the most fitting speech and smiling broadly. Like the perfect, always collected TV moderator and master manipulator he was.

When the princess of hell finally answered the door, her eyes were wide and bulging out of the sockets of her little round face. And her instinct was once again, to slam the door shut in front of his face. “Oh? Am I not welcome…” Charlie quickly counted to ten, willing herself not to start panicking. Coincidences didn’t happen in hell after all.

“VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGIE!”

“What, sunshine?” “Vox, the TV Demon is at the door.”

[fandom-friday]

Hey Karrde 😘 Happy Fandom Friday ❤️!!

I want to submit @persimminwrites A Borrowing Of Bones on Ao3! This is an Explicit Wolffe/OC survival horror fic and Min's latest chapter blew my mind, I genuinely love it ❤️!!

(It's survival horror and has gore and death in it with more tags on Ao3 to be aware of just in case!)

OOOOOOH we love a good spooky, angsty fic round these parts! And the tag "Enemies to Survival Buddies to Lovers" has me intrigued.

This seems super interesting! Thanks so much for sending it in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[wild-karrde]

Hi 👋. Could I so a self-rec of my Tech x fem!reader "Fantasy Falls Into Reality" for your Fandom Fridays? It is a story that takes place after Tech falls in 'Plan 99', but instead of dying on Eriadu, he gets transported to our real world and falls into the readers bedroom. It follows him and the reader's journey to get him "legalized" and his exploration of our universe.

It is NSFT/W and my Masterlist links to the tumblr posts and AO3 chapters. I'm in a bit of a writer's block right now, so I haven't posted a new chapter, but any new readers and comments are welcome! Thanks!

WOOOOOOOO SELF-REC TIME BABY!!! And I think this is SUCH a neat concept for Tech (ALSO HELL YEAH FIX-IT AU). I always think fics like this are such neat thought experiments (let's put the blorbo in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT with VERY DIFFERENT RULES). Also, spice is ALWAYS nice hehe. May your writer's block vanish and you be blessed with a hundred new thoughts/thots! Thanks so much for sending this in!

Participate in Fandom Friday to show your favorite creators from this week some love! :)

[howtowhumpyourhiccup]

Sheer

Summary: Written for the Kinky Things Happen Bingo and the Any Fandom Angst Bingo. Set during RttE. Dagur found something to use against Hiccup and Berk and now has her for his wife. He treats her like his.

Warnings: Dubcon, Arranged Marriage, NSFT

Rating: Explicit

Words: 1 955

Prompts: Worship (Kinky Things Happen Bingo), Arranged Marriage (Any Fandom Angst)

Fandom: How to Draw Your Dragon

Characters: Hiccup, Dagur

Pairing: Dagcup

Author's Notes: Made a poll a couple of days back because I had this concept of a fic, but didn't know who to partner up with (female)Hiccup. The choices were Dagur, Viggo and Drago and for a long time it looked like Viggo was going to win, only for Dagur to take the win by, like, 10 out of 20 votes.

So now this exists.

Enjoy!