#ocd child mind institute

[beforethepoison]

Jesse Eisenberg | OCD and What I Would Tell My Younger Self | Child Mind Institute

[cork-run]

some info about these people I keep drawing

Most of my characters are from my ongoing fantasy wip Young Man's Game (YMG) so this is a primer on them if you happen to want more info.

Some more info on YMG itself is below as well for anyone interested. (side note these designs are slightly out of date and I'll be updating them soonish hopefully)

Ardev

Specs: 32, cis guy, he/him, gay/ace, 5′4

Actually the deuteragonist of YMG. A lot of his background and backstory are massive spoilers so I’ll do my best to summarize without details. He comes from a rich, influential family, was kidnapped as a child, tortured and made to do horrible things for years, then finally escaped and returned to society, but shunned his upperclass upbringing and became a book translator. His natural skin color is the brown on his torso, the rest is permanent but altered. He's got hemophilia from his family and PTSD, depression, and substance issues from his background. He is the country's most powerful forger (magic user) by a mile but they tend to keep that under wraps because he's embarrassing.

He is the protagonist's (Mila's) unwilling/uncooperative mentor, assigned to teach her forging (magic). He is blunt, rude, opinionated, and anti social. However, he cares a lot about a couple things. As said by one character, he ‘loves humanity but hates humans’. Massive pacifist on an institutional level but ready to throw down at the slightest provocation. Hates the government and upper class despite being pretty heavily involved in both. To those few he is friends with, he'll act much more pleasantly/civilized. He's been in a relationship with Endel for 12 years and around him he's practically an entirely different person.

Endel

Specs: 33, nonbinary, he/him, bisexual, 6′7

Acts as a sort of advisor/impromptu therapist/friend to Mila. Also comes from a rich and influential family, but following the death of his older brother his father disowned him so he no longer has that connection. Lived through horrific abuse from his father for being weak and 'girly' and spent years as a shy withdrawn and quiet kid. After meeting Ardev and befriending him, learned to come out of his shell and turned into a confident, outgoing, extrovert with gigantic dick energy and a propensity for being slutty. Struggles with harm OCD but hides it from everyone. Third most powerful forger in the country and a provincial judge trying to make his way in the political world.

On paper seems like a complete mary sue - nice, courteous, chill, funny, powerful, attractive, smart, social butterfly, (almost) everyone likes him, confident, noble, polite, etc etc. His faults and secrets start coming into play as things move along. As the survivor of child abuse and domestic abuse, he is a people-pleaser who is noble to a fault. He’s hypersexual and starts losing control of things the more he feels the need to go out and have one-night-stands. Combined with harm OCD that focuses on sexual situations he is constantly battling his own mind, thinking that he's a terrible person. Can’t admit defeat or back down from a fight, which gets him in more than one sticky situation. Slowly starts to accept the fact that he’s nonbinary and not just feminine.

Mila (Milani)

Specs: 18, cis girl, she/her, lesbian, 4′10

Bright curious kid from a minuscule farm town in the rural area known as the ‘upper flats’. Previously lived with her aunt and uncle after her mother died when she was three without telling anyone who her father was. She knew she was a forger (magic user) from a young age but hid it because of the negative feelings most of the lower class have towards forgers. Assigned to have Ardev as a mentor. Eager to learn about forging and everything else, she struggles to fit in with her upper-class classmates given her background. She does her best to stand up for herself but knows that she would face even worse treatment if she retaliated. Out of her depth almost constantly but doing her best.

More of a social slug than a butterfly, is awkward in just about any situation you put her in but loves being with the few friends she does manage to find and pick up. Tough and willing to take on things that she really should not be taking on despite often being scared shitless of the possibility. Constantly had to deal with Ardev's shit but quickly learns to snark back at him and they become fairly close despite their differences. Slowly has to come to terms with her sexuality and gender presentation given she has been taught that being queer is disrespectful of the Gods. Develops a huge crush on a butch girl from the neighboring country, Acrait. 

And that's the main three! Ask about them and I kiss you on the mouth, okay?

The Story

Blurb: In an unsteady time of peace following a generations-long war, Mila, an 18 year old farmer, finds herself unexpectedly thrust into the world of nobility upon discovering she can wield a power thought only to be possessed by the upper class. Struggling to find her feet in this new environment and shunned by those around her, she juggles learning about her abilities, her identity, and the truth of the war behind the propaganda. When her equally ostracized mentor gets a tip about a plot to assassinate one of the country’s leaders, it’s down the dysfunctional teacher with a shady past and his apprentice who can barely control her powers to prevent the country from falling back into conflict.

Setting:

Magic: Low fantasy with scarce/rare magic. The magic is called forging and is basically element magic but I wanted to explain all the hand movements people do with those so I incorporated more rules and ‘science’ to make it more rigid. there are ten basic ‘facets’ (air, fire, water, stone, earth, wood, iron, copper, blood, bone) and people can be born knowing any number, or special different ones, but it gets exponentially rarer with more facets. the magic is genetic and mostly confined to the upper class and has become a way of oppressing the lower class. this actually gets addressed rather than mentioned then ignored (cough, korra, cough)

Culture: The aesthetics of the main country, Odrad, are based on african, middle eastern, and mediterranean cultures, with a bit of southern asian. However most of that is simply due to the setting being dry and hot, and so developing dark skin and loose clothing and making most things out of stone and plaster due to the scarcity of wood. Religion is polytheistic based around an all mother type goddess and the god of the sun with the biggest festival being the start of the wet season.

The government is controlled by a Council and lawmakers appointed through voting, with voting power being determined by how much land you own. Because of this the upper class control everything after buying up all the land. Given almost all forgers are upper class as well, the disparity has grown huge and the country is on the brink of falling apart as the upper class and forgers squeeze the lower class dry.

The plot is centered around both this disparity and class struggle as well as the fact that Odrad used to be at war with the neighboring country Sheiro, and is now at a tipping point where relations between the two could improve or explode back into war again. Neither country is 'the good guy' and both are equally responsible for the deaths and destruction caused by the war.

I am currently working on the first draft but once I get to the second draft I'll be asking around for beta readers.

[tallmantall]

James Donaldson on Mental Health - Why Do Kids Have Trouble With Transitions?

Being asked to switch gears is a common trigger for problem behavior like whining and tantrums Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com Writer: Katherine Martinelli Clinical Expert: Dave Anderson, PhD What You'll Learn - Why are transitions difficult for many children? - Why do kids often act out when they’re asked to change activities? - What kinds of challenges can make transitions harder for kids? - Quick Read - Full Article - What does trouble with transitions look like? - What’s behind transition problems? - ADHD - Autism - Sensory processing challenges - Anxiety Quick Read Dealing with change is often difficult for children, even if the change is just leaving the playground for the day or switching from art to math in school. Being asked to change activities or locations is often a trigger for behavior like whining, complaining, or throwing tantrums. Kids may not be able to handle the big emotions that can come with transitions. And they might learn that by stalling, they get to avoid the change for a bit longer. Transitions are often especially hard for kids with emotional or developmental issues. While the behaviors that transitions trigger may look the same on the surface, the reasons for these behaviors can vary a lot. Children with ADHD have a hard time switching their attention from one thing to another. It makes sense, then, that they may become upset during transitions. This is especially true if they need to stop doing something that is particularly rewarding for them, since their brains react strongly to rewards. Children with autism have a hard time transitioning from one thing to another because they prefer routine and predictability. Anything that takes them out of their routine can feel overwhelming. It’s the same thing for children with sensory processing challenges. The world often feels overwhelming to them in general, so having to handle something new can be even harder. For children with anxiety, fear might be behind trouble with transitions. They might be afraid of what comes next, like socializing or separating from parents or a subject they have trouble with. Similarly, children with OCD may feel anxious if they can’t finish what they’re doing perfectly. If a transition interrupts a compulsive behavior (like lining up all their toys just right), they might get very upset. Whatever the cause, understanding why transitions are hard for your child is the first step to making them easier. Humans are creatures of habit. Even when we welcome it, change takes more energy. So perhaps it’s not surprising that children often find it difficult to make transitions between activities, places and objects of attention. Being asked to stop one thing and start another is a very common trigger for problem behavior, especially for kids who have emotional or developmental challenges. “Transitions are hard for everybody,” says David Anderson, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “One of the reasons why transitions may be hard is that we’re often transitioning from a preferred activity — something we like doing — to something that we need to do.” What does trouble with transitions look like? Difficulty with transitions can manifest in a number of ways depending on the child and the setting. It can take the form of resistance, avoidance, distraction, negotiation or a full-blown meltdown. Some of these reactions are the result of kids being overwhelmed by their emotions. And some are what they’ve learned works to successfully delay or avoid the transition. A child told it’s time to leave the playground might throw a tantrum initially because he can’t manage his anger or frustration, but if he’s found that it has worked to delay leaving the park, he’s more likely to do it again. “It really depends on how the adults in his life have responded,” says Matthew Rouse, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Other kids may not tantrum but instead master the art of whining, distracting, or negotiating with the adults in their life. What’s behind transition problems? While transitions are triggers for lots of kids — what parent hasn’t gotten resistance from a child being asked to stop playing a video game and come to dinner? — they are particularly difficult for kids with emotional and developmental issues. And while the behaviors may be the same, experts point out that the reasons behind the behavior are different for kids with different challenges. Here we look at why children with ADHD, anxiety, autism and sensory processing issues, find transitions particularly difficult. ADHD For kids with ADHD, it all comes down to what they perceive as rewarding, says Dr. Rouse. While the disorder is described as an attention deficit, experts say it may be more useful to think about it as difficulty regulating attention — turning your attention to something you are expected to do, rather than something that you find rewarding. “Kids with ADHD have fewer neurons in their reward centers, or neurons that aren’t as active in the reward centers of their brains, so they find things throughout their day less rewarding,” he explains. When they do find something rewarding, they tend to hyper-focus on it, which explains why someone with ADHD seems all over the place but then can play video games for hours. Ask them to do something less rewarding (like putting away Legos), and you might hit resistance. Michael Rosenthal, PhD, a clinical neuropsychologist, adds that children with ADHD have a tougher time managing their emotions than other kids. “There’s also research that shows that the wiring in the brain centers that are involved in helping kids exercise control over their emotions are less developed, so you get bigger emotional displays from them compared to kids who don’t have ADHD.” Autism Although transitions can be similarly challenging for kids with autism, the reactions tend to be more extreme, and the issue is rooted in a different difficulty. “For kids with autism,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “the world is just an incredibly confusing and overwhelming place, so the need for sameness and predictability is adaptive,” or practical. It’s not simply that changing activities is upsetting, it’s that any deviation from the routine can feel like the rug is being pulled out from under them. Dr. Rosenthal refers to this as cognitive inflexibility, and says that it also explains why those on the autism spectrum have hyper-focused interests and tend to prefer doing the same things in the same order. “Any unexpected changes or transition for a kid with autism disrupts their equilibrium.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.  #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Sensory processing challenges Although sensory processing is not a diagnostic term like ADHD or autism, kids with either disorder — or no disorder — can have sensory processing issues, which can lead to problems with transitions. For kids who are easily overstimulated, the world feels confusing and seems to move too fast. They crave order, which helps them feel calm and in control. “When you change things up on them too quickly,” says Dr. Rosenthal, “then you see resistance or problem behaviors.” Kids with sensory issues are sometimes prone to dramatic meltdowns — emotional outbursts that they can’t control — when they are overwhelmed by unexpected changes. Anxiety For kids who suffer from anxiety, trouble with transitions might come from a place of fear. “It could be fear of the unknown, or fear of what’s going to happen when they’re put in a new situation,” notes Dr. Rosenthal. The problem is “usually some stimuli that’s connected to the transition, rather than the process of transitioning itself,” he adds. If they’ve had an upsetting experience in a particular setting, the prospect of a transition to that location itself could also trigger anxiety. If a child is terrified of dogs, being asked to leave for the home of someone with a dog could trigger a tantrum, or even make a child lash out in anger. Some kids with anxiety, especially those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), have an intense need to do things perfectly. If they are interrupted before they are able to do something exactly the right way — forming letters perfectly in a writing assignment, or lining things up or doing a series of things in a prescribed order — they can get very upset, leaving an adult not aware of the anxiety mystified. Understanding the triggers that make kids balk, or get upset, at transitions, is the first step to managing them better for both kids and adults. Photo by samer daboul on Pexels.com Read the full article

[officialankit1232]

Counselling Psychologist in Meerut

Counselling Psychologist in Meerut

Who is Counselling Psychologist?

Counselling Psychologist are the people who work for the welfare of society. Counselling psychologist talk about the emotional, social, professional, school, college and mental health issues which concerns people at several stages of life. Counselling psychologists help people with social, emotional milestones and mental health issues. They change their thought process to alleviate feelings of sadness and solve issues. They also provide evaluation, diagnosis, and suggest ways to improve severe psychological problems. Dr Kashika Jain is a best counselling psychologist in Meerut.

Problems Addressed by Counselling Psychologist

Counselling Psychologist addressed various psychological problems related to socialization, emotional trauma, cultural specific etc. It doesn't mean they are limited to these issues only. They do many more things.

College, School, institutional adjustment concerns. Suggest ways to deal with complex situation of life .Example- Diasporas, Transition period etc. Relationship crises ‐ includes family, relatives, peer, in-laws etc. Learning disabilities (ocd ,reading and writing problems) Stress management Dealing with negative stages of life. Anger Anxiety Depression Overcome challenges associated with physical disabilities, disease or injury. Personal/social adaptation Deal with identity crises {issues like self-confidence and feeling of unwanted } Career solutions Mental Disorders Suffering from insomnia

Importance of Counselling Psychologist in Meerut

Counselling psychologist addressed severe issues related to personal and professional life. So we cannot deny their role in society. They indirectly help social, emotional, mental health development of people. If human mind works in a healthy way then society develop in a sustainable manner. They deal with individual patients of all age group, from childhood to old-hood, who has behavioural problems, abusive problem, addiction to bad things, Young children with educational and career pressure, adults facing marital or family issues,or overcoming learning disabilities, and older people face challenges during post retirement period. They work with community to help them in finding solutions to the same problems. At the same it improves the personal and interpersonal development of a individual and group.

Why Choose Dr. Kashika Jain as Best Counselling Psychologist Near me?

Dr. Kashika Jain is a celebrity Psychologist, Therapist and Counsellor and her clinic is situated in Mangal Pandey Nagar, Near CCS University, Meerut. She addresses all mental health issues very efficiently.• She addresses all mental health issues very efficiently. She provides psychological counselling for all psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, relationship solution, child counselling, insomnia, Dementia, mania, husband wife relationship, child bonding, phobia, autism, addiction, stress, and other psychological therapies. She is Psychological Counsellor Near me. Best thing about her treatment is that, she provides all the treatment without medications because all psychological issues come into existence due to our thought process and medicine doesn't help in changing thought process of person. To change thought process all we need counselling and therapy.

[ghostisventing]

Mental Health Resource Master Post

Self Harm: -Calm Harm app -draw with markers on yourself -Self Injury Outreach and Support -Adolescent Self Injury Foundation -S.A.F.E. Alternatives Anxiety: -Whats Up? App -Antistress app -dailystrength website -Anxiety Resource Center -The April Center for Anxiety Attack Management -Joyable website (social anxiety) -The Anxiety Network -Social Anxiety Institute Depression/mood disorders: Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance -https://themighty.com/2017/12/depression-hygiene-hacks/ -Erika’s Lighthouse website -MoodNetwork -BeyondBlue -Families for Depression Awareness -https://iapmd.org/about-pmdd Dissociation: -hold ice -drink ice cold water -eat mint -5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method

-International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation Addiction: -I am Sober App -Substance Abuse and Mental Health services association (SAMSAH) -LifeRing -Women for Sobriety -Al-Anon General: Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) To Write Love on her Arms website NAMI Child Mind Institute 7Cups app Crisis Chat BetterHelp Turn2Me OCD and related issues: -International OCD foundation -The TLC Foundation for Body Focused Repetive Behaviors -Beyond OCD. Org -NOCD -Made of Millions -trichstop.com -pickingme.org

-skinpick.com

Eating Disorders: -National Eating Disorders Association -National eating disorders. Org -Eating Disorder Hope -Multi Service Eating Disorders Association -https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/information/resources-for-anorexia-bulimia-and-binge-eating-disorder Bpd: -https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4Qw4-tlRJe-T2l5MtFOsLkTIkfZqjobY -find DBT worksheets -National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder -Healing from BPD -BPDFamily

Suicide:

-afsp.org

-DBT skills (especially crisis planning, distress tolerance and emotional regulation)

-suicide hotlines

(Will update later)

[wouldnt-it-be-hilarious-if-i]

PMDD and ADHD: Part 1

I'm back!

Moving on with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder Awareness month, I want to continue discussing how PMDD affects other disorders. Given that I am essentially a petri dish of disorders, I am going to discuss this from the perspective of my own disorders. Last week, I discussed the overlap between OCD and PMDD, and how the two interact to create a perfect hell for all involved. Today, I am going to discuss how PMDD affects ADHD and these two disorders affect those of us with periods.

Before I start, I would like to direct everyone toward important and/or interesting reads to look into before diving into this one.

Here is my post about the definition of PMDD, how it presents, other people's experience with PMDD, as well as my own experience

Here is my post detailing what OCD is and how it presents

Here is part two of that post discussing how PMDD and OCD interact

Here are some resources for supporting a loved one with PMDD, and for taking care of yourself.

I would also like to stress that I have been formally diagnosed with ADHD since I was seven. I was lucky enough to have a mother and older brother with the disorder, so it was easily and quickly recognized in early childhood. However, early 2000s treatment of ADHD was severely lacking, especially when it came to school. I have experienced ableism my entire life from people who did not believe in ADHD, and who still refuse to. I continue to experience it in my adult life for my other disorders as well.

I was never formally diagnosed with OCD or PMDD, but both my doctor and my therapist agreed that I most likely had PMDD. My therapist also agreed that I likely have OCD because I experience obsessions, compulsions, intrusive thoughts, etc and have since I was a child. I do not have the money to get tested right now but hope to in the future.

Now, let's begin!

Let's start with a quick run down of what ADHD is, and what it is not.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, ADHD, or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, is "marked by an ongoing pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development."

People with ADHD may experience most of these symptoms (keep this in mind for later, as this is where PMDD and ADHD begin to overlap):

"Inattention means a person may have difficulty staying on task, sustaining focus, and staying organized, and these problems are not due to defiance or lack of comprehension.

Hyperactivity means a person may seem to move about constantly, including in situations when it is not appropriate, or excessively fidgets, taps, or talks. In adults, hyperactivity may mean extreme restlessness or talking too much.

Impulsivity means a person may act without thinking or have difficulty with self-control. Impulsivity could also include a desire for immediate rewards or the inability to delay gratification. An impulsive person may interrupt others or make important decisions without considering long-term consequences."

There are different types of ADHD. Not everyone who has ADHD has the hyperactivity type, and not everyone has the inattentive type. In the past, I have been described as both. This is normal because ADHD symptoms can change over time.

Here are some symptoms of each type according the National Institute of Mental Health. I will mark my typical symptoms with an *.

People with symptoms of inattention may often:

Overlook or miss details and make seemingly careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities*

Have difficulty sustaining attention during play or tasks, such as conversations, lectures, or lengthy reading*

Not seem to listen when spoken to directly*

Find it hard to follow through on instructions or finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace, or may start tasks but lose focus and get easily sidetracked*

Have difficulty organizing tasks and activities, doing tasks in sequence, keeping materials and belongings in order, managing time, and meeting deadlines*

Avoid tasks that require sustained mental effort, such as homework, or for teens and older adults, preparing reports, completing forms, or reviewing lengthy papers*

Lose things necessary for tasks or activities, such as school supplies, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, and cell phones********(I literally lose things WHILE I'm looking for other things)

Be easily distracted by unrelated thoughts or stimuli*

Be forgetful in daily activities, such as chores, errands, returning calls, and keeping appointments*

Hyperactivity-Impulsivity

People with symptoms of hyperactivity-impulsivity may often:

Fidget and squirm while seated*

Leave their seats in situations when staying seated is expected, such as in the classroom or the office*

Run, dash around, or climb at inappropriate times or, in teens and adults, often feel restless*

Be unable to play or engage in hobbies quietly

Be constantly in motion or on the go, or act as if driven by a motor

Talk excessively*

Answer questions before they are fully asked, finish other people’s sentences, or speak without waiting for a turn in a conversation*

Have difficulty waiting one’s turn*

Interrupt or intrude on others, for example in conversations, games, or activities*

Now that we have the basics of this disorder outlined, let's talk about another important aspect of this disorder! Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD. According to AdditudeMag, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is "extreme emotional sensitivity and pain triggered by the perception that a person has been reject or criticized by important people in their life. It may also be triggered by a sense of falling short---failing to meet their own high standards or others' expectations."

Though it could be argued that everyone experiences some form of rejection, criticism or failure in their lives, it should be noted that for people with RSD, these things are "much more severe than for neurotypical individuals. They are unbearable, restricting, and highly impairing."

When this emotional response is internalized, "it can imitate a full, major mood disorder complete with suicidal ideation." Interestingly, "the sudden change from feeling perfectly fine to feeling intensely sad that results from RSD is often misdiagnosed as rapid cycling mood disorder."

Remember that rejection sensitivity is a neurologic and genetic part of ADHD. Keep in mind that while early childhood trauma makes anything worse, "it does not cause RSD." Almost "100% of people with ADHD experience rejection sensitivity."

So, what does all this have to do with PMDD?

A whole fucking lot, I'll tell you.

According to a recent study published in 2021 in the Journal of Psychiatric Research, researchers found that "women with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may be more vulnerable to hormone-related mood disorders such as premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD), postpartum depression (PPD), and climacteric mood symptoms during their lifespan." There were some limitations with the study however, such as "possible recall bias and the inability to find significant association between a broad spectrum of psychiatric disorders and PMDD." In other words, the findings of this study are preliminary and necessitate further research into the subject. Remember: This study is the first one ever studying this connection.

Aside from this preliminary study, there has also been a look into how estrogen affects women with ADHD. According to CHADD (Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder), "for most women and girls affected by ADHD, severity of ADHD symptoms will fluctuate throughout the month, tied closely with their hormonal cycles."

Researcher and author Patricia Quinn (MD) says in a 2016 article that "research has confirmed that the brain is a target organ for estrogen and that estrogen's neuronal effects have functional consequences." She goes further to explain that these effects can "dramatically impact a woman's ADHD symptoms, along with her ability to function. Similar fluctuations related to a woman's menstrual cycle can worsen both her ADHD symptoms and symptoms of premenstrual syndrome."

It gets even more interesting. "There also appears to be a subgroup of women (3-8%) with PMS whose symptoms are primarily related to mood disorder. These women experience extreme mood and behavior symptoms, leading to a dianosis of premenstrual dysphoric disorder....Some women with a diagnosis of ADHD report that their symptoms seem to worse during the premenstrual period." Quinn goes on to suggest that these women could be experiences a premenstrual magnification (which from what I understand is another way to say PME, or Premenstrual Exacerbation), which can coexist with PMDD.

Now, for my favorite part. Let's look at real people's experiences with ADHD and PMDD and how these two disorders have impacted their lives. Head over to part 2 where we will look at personal testimonies.

[seasonedfrog]

Selective Mutism

 Hello! I have an anxiety disorder called Selective Mutism, and I want to tell you lovely people about it. I want to talk about it for two reasons. First, I haven't seen anything about Selective Mutism on tumblr (or any social media in general). Second, all of the articles I read online were addressed to the parents of a child with Selective Mutism, and not to the person with the disorder, which really annoyed me for some reason. so yeah. Here we go.

Ok before we begin, please tell me if any of the following information is incorrect, or if there is anything I should add.

According to Anxiety Canada, "Selective mutism is predominantly a childhood anxiety disorder that is diagnosed when a child consistently does not speak in some situations, but speaks comfortably in other situations." Most people with SM have some form of social phobia or anxiety. People with this disorder have a fear of social interaction/communication, rather than just being shy. Some people are completely mute, while other are  able to talk and communicate normally with people they are close to.

There is not a single cause of Selective Mutism, although emotional, biological, psychological, and social factors my influence it. Anxiety disorders are often hereditary. Many people with SM have a family member who also has SM or some other form of anxiety. SM often goes hand-in-hand with other anxiety disorders, like social anxiety and generalized anxiety. It is estimated that less than 1% of children have Selective Mutism.

People with Selective Mutism often rely on nonverbal communication to express themselves in social settings. People with SM also tend to have a desire to talk, but don't because of anxiousness or fear of being embarrassed. Lack of eye contact, lack of movement, and fidgeting are all symptoms of SM. People with Selective Mutism also tend to have depression, developmental delays, language problems, OCD, and panic disorder.  

For me personally, I can talk for hours on end to my friends and family, but when it comes to people i don’t know well, (i.e. teachers, classmates, strangers, etc..) I freeze. I can maybe get a few words out, but it’s very uncomfy. When I was little i had really bad separation anxiety, which i think is a sigh of SM in children. (that might not be true, i think i read it somewhere, I’m not sure though.) 

I fell like it’s important to note that not all people with SM are completely mute. It’s also important to note that a lot of people with SM are mute, and it’s important to respect that. No, Selective Mutism is not ‘just being shy’. No, Selective Mutism is not a made up thing. Pleas be nice to us!

✨

.

Sources: 

Selective Mutism Center

Selective Mutism Association

Child Mind Institute

Anxiety Canada

[free--therapy]

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

Why do we have thoughts we don't want?

Posted February 26, 2020

“There is no institution more powerful than the institution of your mind.”

—Naide P. Obiang

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that seem to pop into your mind out of nowhere. Such thoughts can take the form of any number of offensive ideas. The content is commonly violent, sexually explicit, or otherwise socially inappropriate. These thoughts may be directed towards loved ones, people who are close by, or oneself.

Some examples of common intrusive thoughts include:

The sudden image of harming your child or other loved one, despite having no intention or desire to do so.

The thought of performing a sexual act with someone, despite it being inappropriate and/or lacking attraction towards that person.

The sudden urge to yell obscenities or expose oneself in public.

A fleeting, unexpected urge to jump when standing on a bridge.

The unwanted and unexpected nature of intrusive thoughts separates them from other types of thoughts, like worries, ruminations, or desires. In fact, intrusive thoughts are often so contrary to one’s character and wishes that the person is distressed or disgusted by the thoughts.

What do these thoughts mean?

Intermittent intrusive thoughts are common and normal. In investigating this phenomenon, one study by Hames and colleagues (2012) suggested that over 50 percent of people with no history of suicidal thoughts have had the sudden urge to jump when standing on a tall building or bridge. Psychologists call this the “high place phenomenon."

Intrusive thoughts have also been well-studied in new mothers. A 2008 study by Fairbrother and colleagues showed that half of the healthy mothers had intrusive thoughts of harming their infants by four weeks after birth. A recent meta-analysis of 50 studies showed that nearly all women have had intrusive thoughts of harming their baby at some point after birth (Brok, 2017).

People who are more sensitive to anxiety are more likely to experience intrusive thoughts (Hames, 2012). And while these thoughts can be normal, they are more common in certain psychiatric disorders, including anxiety disorders, mood disorders like major depression and bipolar disorder, and psychotic disorders like schizophrenia.

What causes intrusive thoughts?

So why does a normal brain produce seemingly abnormal and unwanted thoughts? Some researchers hypothesize that these thoughts are a sort of misinterpreted warning signal (Hames, 2012).

For example, when a mother experiences a sudden, undesired urge to drop her newborn baby, perhaps it is her brain’s way of warning her to hold on tighter to avoid dropping the child. Or in the context of the high place phenomenon, the strange and unexpected urge causes you to step back from the edge of the bridge or building. So in some ways, these intrusive thoughts may protect you from the thing you fear.

Importantly, these thoughts do not seem to predict an increased risk of carrying out the feared thought or urge. In the meta-analysis cited above, none of the 50 studies included found an increased risk of violence in mothers with isolated intrusive thoughts of harming their children (Brok, 2017).

What can you do when intrusive thoughts become a problem?

When intrusive thoughts become severe, recurrent, and anxiety-provoking, we call them obsessions. Obsessions are perhaps best known in the context of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). People with OCD often suffer from compulsions as well—behaviors or mental rituals that aim to decrease the anxiety associated with the obsessions.

In people with normal, transient, non-distressing intrusive thoughts, no treatment is needed. It is important to realize that these thoughts are normal, and over-pathologizing them can create unnecessary anxiety. Think of these thoughts as brain hiccups. As frightening as they may initially seem, intrusive thoughts will dissipate if you accept them and allow them to pass without giving them too much attention or trying to push them away.

If intrusive thoughts reach the level of obsessions, we can use medications and therapy to help. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and other antidepressant medications have been shown to be effective in treating obsessions. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can also be very helpful, especially when it includes exposure and response prevention (ERP) and anxiety management strategies.

[longitudinalwaveme]

DC Comics’ Portrayal of Mental Illness

 As you can probably ascertain from the general contents of this blog, I am a huge fan of DC comics (and, more specifically, of the Flash). I am also a psychology major who is on the autism spectrum and has struggled with Social Anxiety Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. As such, I have a...complicated relationship with comic books that discuss mental illness. 

Of course, of all the comics that deal with mental illness, Batman is undoubtedly the most prominent, and, as such, is the easiest target for criticism. The more a comic book talks about mental illness, the more opportunities it has to get stuff wrong. Since there are literally thousands of Batman comics out there and I don’t have the time to research them all, I will be using a 2001 Batman guidebook to give you a few examples of the things that it gets wrong about mental health (and psychology in general). 

To start, let’s talk about Arkham Asylum. Not only is its name anachronistic (virtually no mental heath facilities are called asylums anymore), but its depiction usually is as well: even a psychiatric hospital that doubled as a penal facility probably would not be located in an old Gothic-looking building that looks like it came straight out of a horror movie. It’s also worth noting that Arkham Asylum didn’t exist in the Batman mythos prior to 1974, and that originally, Two-Face and the Joker were the only two villains who went there. Prior to that point, everyone, even the Joker, just went to prison when they were caught (which, as we shall see, is actually probably more accurate for everyone except maaaybe modern Two-Face and the Mad Hatter). My suspicion is that it was introduced to capitalize on the popularity of the 1962 novel (and, once it was released, the 1975 movie) One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, which was about a psychiatric institution, but there were probably other factors involved, such as the popularity of works by H.P. Lovecraft (which is where the name Arkham came from). Whatever the reason, though, Arkham Asylum is really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the misrepresentation of mental illness and mental health in Batman fiction. 

The introduction of Arkham Asylum led, increasingly, to the idea that all Batman villains were mentally ill, which, in turn, led to some...um....very inaccurate portrayals and depictions of what mental illness is and how it works. 

For example, the 2001 guidebook I am using incorrectly describes the Joker as “certifiably psychotic”. He’s not. While there are individual exceptions (we are talking about comic books, after all), in most appearances, the Joker is not psychotic. He has no apparent hallucinations and does not seem to display signs of delusions, either. He is not out of touch with reality in any meaningful way, he’s just horrifically violent. Describing him as “certifiably psychopathic” would have been much more appropriate (although you can’t technically diagnose someone with psychopathy; the condition he would be diagnosed with would be Antisocial Personality Disorder). 

In the same book, Two-Face is described as “schizoid” and “schizophrenic”, both of which are not even remotely correct. What the modern Two-Face is supposed to suffer from is Dissociative Identity Disorder (what used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder), although it’s not always portrayed terribly accurately. Schizoid Personality Disorder is not DID, and it’s not Schizophrenia, either; it’s a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships-basically people who are extreme loners. Similarly, Schizophrenia is not DID. While it is hypothetically possible for the two conditions to be comorbid, they are not at all the same thing. Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder characterized by delusions and hallucinations, which Two-Face almost never displays in fiction. DID is a dissociative disorder. Most people with DID do not experience delusions or hallucinations; their condition is typified by the presence of more than one personality and is thought to usually only occur as a reaction to severe childhood trauma. (Credit where credit is due: modern Two-Face is correctly shown as having experienced trauma as a child.) The fact that the term schizophrenia literally translates into “split mind” is probably the source of some of this confusion, but with schizophrenia, the split is between the mind and reality, not between the mind and itself. 

Also from this guidebook, the Riddler is, confusingly, described as having “an obsessive-compulsive desire for attention”, which, from a psychological perspective, is pretty much nonsense. Desire for attention is one thing; obsessive-compulsive disorder is another. The “obsessions” in OCD refer to intrusive, recurring thoughts, not to something that a person strongly desires and spends a lot of time pursuing. Additionally, the Riddler is described as “pondering the unsolvable riddle of his own psychosis”, which is not accurate. The Riddler consistently displays signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and less consistently displays signs of OCD, but neither one of these conditions is a psychotic disorder, as neither involves hallucinations or delusions. When the Riddler says he’s not psychotic, and that he’s perfectly sane, he’s completely right on both counts. He’s never displayed any evidence of a break from reality, so he’s not psychotic, and he’s almost always aware that what he’s doing is a crime, so he’s not insane, either. In fact, with the possible exceptions of the Mad Hatter, Man-Bat, and Two-Face, none of the Batman villains are insane, since they are all aware that what they’re doing is illegal when they do it. 

What makes the earlier mistakes in this particular guidebook even more mystifying to me is the fact that their description of Scarecrow, and, more impressively yet, Scarecrow’s fear toxin, is pretty much accurate. They don’t call him psychotic or label him with conditions he doesn’t have and they accurately identify his on-again off-again phobia of bats (Chiropteraphobia). It also describes his fear gas thusly: “a toxic mix of adreno-cortical secretions and strong hallucinogens...it prompts neuromuscular spasms, cardiac arrhythmia, and panic attacks”. This is an astonishingly accurate description of what his fear toxin would need to be made of and what it does to his victims’ bodies. I don’t know who wrote this section, but they deserve some serious credit for doing their homework! (It makes no sense to put the Scarecrow in Arkham. Not only is he neither psychotic nor insane, but putting an evil ex-psychologist in a psychiatric institution is a REALLY bad idea, as he has the know-how to easily manipulate both the doctors and the patients.) 

Also from the 2001 Guidebook: The Ventriloquist is described as having multiple personalities, and is NOT described as schizophrenic or schizoid. While the term Multiple Personality Disorder is no longer used by psychologists for diagnosis, it is at least describing the same condition as DID. Modern Firefly is described as a pyromaniac; this is accurate from what I know of the character. Mr. Zsasz is described as a “sociopath”; again, this is mostly accurate. 

I also decided to use a few other DC guidebooks and see if there were any other egregious mistakes: 

2015 Guidebook:

 Haha, “Lenny Snart”. (That has nothing to do with mental illness, I just thought it was funny.) 

 Dr. Polaris is described as suffering from “a split personality disorder”; they mean DID. It’s also worth noting that most people with DID do not have a “good” alter and an “evil” alter; having DID does not make you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. 

The Joker is described as “crazy” and “insane”; while the former is up for debate, I can say with confidence that the Joker meets no real-world definition of insanity that I know about. 

Riddler is not described as insane, yay!  

Two-Face is described as having Multiple Personality Disorder; this should be DID but is otherwise broadly correct. That being said, the idea that getting acid thrown in your face would cause you to develop a split personality, as this book seems to imply, is unlikely. DID doesn’t develop that suddenly. 

2016 Guidebook: 

While Doctor Polaris may very well have a personality disorder, the emergence of a second personality would indicate the development of DID, not  a personality disorder. An adult man couldn’t “develop’ a personality disorder anyway; they’re developed in childhood and are usually lifelong afflictions. 

Harley Quinn is a weird case; to call her psychotic isn’t completely inaccurate, as she has displayed signs of hallucinations and delusions in the past. That being said, the way her condition is depicted is inconsistent and confusing, and doesn’t seem to line up perfectly with any actual real-world condition. 

Modern Heat Wave is absolutely a pyromaniac; Johns in particular was surprisingly good at writing a realistic case of the condition. 

The Joker is not insane. Neither is the modern Joker’s daughter. Both understand what they’re doing is wrong. 

Lex Luthor is indeed a sociopath, as is the New 52 version of Mr. Freeze (BTAS Freeze is not). 

Two-Face’s condition should be described as DID, not MPD; otherwise things are about as accurate as one can expect from Two-Face. 

2008 Guidebook:

Calling Abra Kadabra narcissistic is accurate. 

The Black Manta autism thing is icky on multiple levels. Ewww.

The first Cheetah probably would not have suddenly developed a second personality as an adult. 

Dr. Polaris. You know the drill. Split personality should be DID. A “good” and “evil” alter are pretty unlikely. Usually DID would show up before adulthood. 

Firefly and Heat Wave do both seem to have pyromania. It’s also accurate to describe Heat Wave as cryophobic. 

The Joker cannot be “certifiably crazed”; crazed is not an official psychiatric term. And again, he isn’t insane, so he shouldn’t be in Arkham. 

Killer Croc has never displayed any noticeable signs of psychosis. 

Magenta having DID is actually more realistic than most of the other characters I’ve talked about; she’s got the necessary childhood trauma and her alters developed when she was still quite young. Furthermore, her more violent alter isn’t manically evil. 

Whoever wrote the Scarecrow piece in the 2001 Batman Guidebook must’ve also helped to write this one, since the shockingly-accurate fear gas description is the same. 

Professor Strange is not insane in the legal sense of the word. 

Arnold Wesker has DID; MPD is the condition’s original name but is no longer used by professional psychologists. 

Zoom (Hunter Zolomon, not Eobard)... I think there’s an argument to be made that Zolomon actually is psychotic. While he’s never displayed hallucinations, he is clearly delusional in the most literal sense and does seem to have lost touch with reality. As such, this book is not wholly inaccurate in calling him psychotic.

You get the idea....

Looking specifically at the Flash, things improve slightly simply because writers who don’t understand psychology aren’t constantly talking about it. That being said, that doesn’t mean it never gets brought up. 

Golden Glider was intended to receive a psychiatric evaluation in the late 1970s. It’s interesting that she actually protested this, pointing out that the male criminals never received psychological evaluations (and indeed, they always went to prison rather than to an institution). She was indeed motivated by something other than profit, and I can understand why they wanted to have her evaluated given her lack of earlier criminal activity, but I don’t know if she was actually mentally ill per se...and she definitely wasn’t insane. 

In the early 1980s during the twilight hours of Barry Allen’s first run on the Flash, it seemed that the writers were trying to take a page out of Batman’s book by arguing that Barry’s costumed criminals were insane (even though they usually didn’t display any behavior that would indicate this). As such, Barry stated to imply that his Rogues were mentally ill in some fashion despite the fact that their behavior really hadn’t changed appreciably since their earliest appearances. That being said, the Pied Piper did appear to suffer some sort of nervous breakdown during the “Trial of the Flash” arc; what exactly this was is difficult to explain, since we didn’t get to see a whole lot of him after this point, but he did go to an actual psychiatric hospital (that was referred to as such rather than being called an asylum) and he did recover, relapsed, then recovered again, making this one of the more accurate portrayals of how mental illness works despite the limited information we have about his actual condition. They even showed him slowly deteriorating over a period of time before the actual collapse!

Big Sir, who made his debut in the same storyline, was rather more poorly handled....but at least he was explicitly manipulated into villainy rather than becoming evil simply because of his condition. 

Wally West went to therapy early in his run; given the context I’d say it was reasonable that he was suffering from both anxiety and depression (his uncle had just died and he was really struggling to fill his shoes as the new Flash). Going to therapy did actually help him, which was nice to see, and his therapist did not become evil, which was also nice to see. (I’m not going to talk about Heroes in Crisis, as I prefer to pretend that that never happened.) Yay for protagonists discussing their mental health problems in productive ways! 

In the early-to-mid 1990s, Mark Waid wrote a story in which Lisa stated that she’d faked insanity in order to be sent to a psychiatric hospital rather than to prison, but the story seemed to be implying that she was actually insane. Not only is successfully being declared not guilty by reason of insanity incredibly difficult, but Lisa displayed no signs of not recognizing that her behavior was wrong, so she wasn’t insane. She was, however, displaying strong signs of paranoia, which could perhaps be attributed to a paranoid delusion of some sort. It’s especailly weird since this was never really a characteristic of hers before or since, and it just kind of came out of nowhere. 

The Trickster (specifically the first one, James Jesse) is often mistakenly believed to be mentally ill by casual fans. While he is indeed mentally ill, possibly even psychotic, in the DCAU,  and he’s a remorseless psychopath in both live-action Flash shows, in the comics themselves he displays no real signs of mental illness. That being said, I LOVE the interactions between DCAU Wally and DCAU Trickster. They’re made of adorable.

The Pied Piper went through a second bout of mental problems in the mid-to-late 2000s, being tricked into believing that he’d murdered his parents, going to prison, being beaten regularly by the warden, escaping from prison, going through the stress of fighting in the Rogue War, having his mind messed with by the Top, accidentally becoming involved in the murder of Bart Allen (another thing I like to pretend never happened), having to go on the run, watching the Trickster get shot in front of him, having to drag his corpse around a desert, almost dying, getting transported to Apocalypse, blowing it up with Queen music, and then being left basically all alone. He really went through a trauma conga line, so it’s not surprising that he was starting to display some odd behavior. Poor guy probably had PTSD. 

And then there’s the Top. Beyond the speculation of @gorogues that he’s on the autism spectrum (a  theory I find to be quite persuasive), I also think it’s likely that he suffers from another mental illness (most likely bipolar I disorder, also as suggested by @gorogues). He was clearly mentally ill for most of Geoff Johns’ run, and his behavior in his very first appearance was decidedly odd as well. Intense mania and depression can sometimes induce psychosis (as we seemed to see during Geoff Johns’ run), and his “threatening to blow up half the world to become its ruler while I’m somehow safe on the other side of the planet” plan from his first appearance, which he clearly expected to work perfectly, is so overconfident and over-the-top that it fits well as a particularly exaggerated manic episode. While it’s not conclusive by any means, I think it’s a distinct possibility.

[dreamingofscully]

6x06. “How the Ghosts Stole Christmas” - X-Files Rewatch

I wrote a lot about this episode, I hope you enjoy! Really thought this one gave us a ton of insight into M&S.

Mulder’s excuse to invite Scully out with him - a haunted house. He just wants to spend time with her. He’s feeling lonely. For some reason he’s not spending Christmas with anyone - not his mom, not the Gunmen. Even if he was, she’s the person he most wants to spend it with.

Mulder does his very best to entertain Scully with a ghost story. He’s being very seductive, but I don’t think he’s too serious about it - just wants her to spend time with him desperately. 

When Mulder describes Maurice (“brooding but heroic”) and Lyda (“a sublime beauty with a light that seemed to follow her wherever she went”) - I mean, c’mon, he’s describing THEM. 

“Driven by a tragic fear of separation they forged a lovers' pact so that they might spend eternity together and not spend one precious Christmas apart.”

HELLO?!

Even though Scully has somewhere to be, Mulder’s pull on her is irresistible. She has a family, a gift-opening, many traditions that she loves to take part in, SOMEWHERE ELSE TO BE, but she comes to see Mulder anyway. She protests, tries to leave, but only because she thinks Mulder also has plans, has people to spend the holidays with. Scully loves a good story, and this one hits close to home - scary, romantic and tragic.

Scully’s long monologue about why fearing ghosts is irrational, what it represents. She’s thought about it a LOT. She enjoys the thrill she gets from fear but also enjoys being able to explain it, put it in a box, conquer it.

It appears on the outside that Mulder is being selfish on inviting her here, occupying her time on a date where she has places to be, that he’s being insensitive. But the opposite is actually true. How difficult is Christmas going to be for Scully this year? To be around her family and remember her loss. To spend time with her nephew and having to hide her sorrow at the child she barely knew that was taken from her. To be expected to be full of Christmas cheer when all she wants to do is hide from the world, to yell and cry with anger and sadness. Mulder knows this, but doesn’t acknowledge it. He distracts her with ghosts, and it is the most wonderful thing he could do.

I love the contrast between Mulder and Scully meeting the ghosts, on experiencing the scary haunted house. Mulder is fascinated, while Scully is terrified. An incredible parallel to their experiences with the paranormal - Mulder just wants to know more but Scully rationalizes it to try to dispel her fears.

“Alright, I’m afraid. But it’s an irrational fear.” - Scully (Her first of three admissions this episode.)

This is a wonderful season to explore Scully’s fears. She is terrified of the unknown, of what she can’t explain rationally, which drives her stubbornness all throughout the next few seasons. It’s frustrating for Mulder, he doesn’t understand why she’s so resistant to believe even if she’s seen things she can’t deny, but it all stems from this fear. She doesn’t fully overcome it until much, much later (“all things”, I believe).

Mulder’s “I got your back” when Scully’s about to check out something strange/scary. Hilarious, and a simple attempt at humour. An attempt to show that Scully is the braver one. He might be less scared, but he pushes her, wants her to explore, and while Scully is afraid SHE is the one to open the door because HE pushes her to do so, because she needs to explain things to conquer her fear. She likes that about him, about their relationship. He gives her strength and courage to overcome her fears.

Scully gets into the next room, is comforted by evidence of the mundane. The wound clock, the fire that just went out. This place isn’t haunted, it’s just occupied.

Mulder is such a goofball. Enjoying pranking/scaring Scully, teasing her. He touches her shoulder. He calls her on her fears - that “Rationally, you've been in much more dangerous situations”. In a horror movie, Mulder would be the one doing all the things that YOU SHOULD NOT DO. Scully realizes this, haha.

Scully’s hand on his arm when they realize that the corpses are themselves. It’s meant to scare them, to make them believe something will happen to them. So the things that come later will be more believable and they’ll be more susceptible to Maurice and Lyda’s manipulations.

The psychoanalysis of Mulder and Scully.

A lot of these insights are accurate, but some of them reflect only what they FEAR is the truth.

Maurice → Mulder

I’m just going to comment here that Mulder is wearing my favourite outfit. Leather jacket, t-shirt and jeans. Hnnnnnnnnng.

“Are you overcome by the impulse to make everyone believe you?”

The one person he wants to believe him the most is extremely resistant to it. She says she believes him, but she can’t quite admit it to herself. This hurts him. 

“Narcissistic, overzealous, self-righteous egomaniac.”

Overzealous, yes, and perhaps self-righteous but I don’t agree with the others. Mulder would be WORRIED about the other things though. That he is too self-centered, that his personal quest has taken so much from Scully. He views himself as selfish, and undeserving of love and companionship because of it.

“You kindly think of yourself as single-minded but you're prone to obsessive compulsiveness workaholism, antisocialism... Fertile fields for the descent into total wacko breakdown.”

Single-minded: YES

Obsessive: YES; compulsive to the extent that he is impulsive and spontaneous when it comes to his quest, but not OCD

Workaholism: YES - Mulder doesn’t ever NOT work, as long as it’s associated with his obsession. He’s always at the bureau, or working at home, or dragging Scully to investigate mysterious things on the weekend.

Antisocialism: YES - He doesn’t care what other people think, doesn’t have much of a social life outside of his carefully chosen friends

Total wacko breakdown: he jokes about his mental stability, that he belongs in a mental institution, that they’d lock him up if he went there, that Scully could see him tied down on a bed. But in reality he is very stable emotionally - with all of the trauma he encounters he is very resilient, bounces back, pursues his quest

“You probably consider yourself passionate, serious, misunderstood. Am I right?”

YES. He doesn’t mind that people don’t get him, because he knows he’s on the right path. His joking and humour only covers up his vulnerability, otherwise he is very serious about most things.

“Most people would rather stick their fingers in a wall socket than spend a minute with you.”

OOF. This hurts him, hits home, gets right down to the core of his greatest fear, of being alone.

He brings up Scully, that he’s not actually alone. He didn’t take her car keys, but the ONLY REASON SHE’S IN THE HOUSE IS BECAUSE THEY WERE TAKEN. 

And where is she? “BEHIND A BRICK WALL.” One of their own construction - mainly Mulder’s.

“You know why you do it-- listen endlessly to her droning rationalizations. 'Cause you're afraid. Afraid of the loneliness. Am I right?”

This is why Mulder, after his frustration in “The Beginning”, is more accepting of her disbelief. He makes very good points about why she can’t believe in that episode, but he doesn’t really push her on it afterwards - because the alternative is loneliness. (He DOES know that the debate is necessary for their process, but also that her denials are unreasonable at this point, after what they saw.)

If he pushes her too much, will she leave?

Lyda → Scully

Her hand shaking when holding her gun is just perfection. I love how she calms, her hand steadies, but then starts trembling again when Lyda starts making strange insights, knows things she shouldn’t.

“You must have an awful small life. Spending your Christmas Eve with him... Running around chasing things you don't even believe in.”

Again, Scully wants more out of life. She wants to “get out of the car”, wants to experience family, intimacy, have a partner to share her life with. That Mulder seems incompatible with those things, that he could never settle down and stop chasing things in the dark.

“I can see it in your face... The fear... The conflicted yearnings... A subconscious desire to find fulfillment through another. Intimacy through co-dependency.”

Feeling that she can’t obtain intimacy with Mulder, she finds satisfaction just being with him, working with him, being NEEDED.

“Maybe you repress the truth about why you're really here pretending it's out of duty or loyalty-- unable to admit your dirty little secret. Your only joy in life is proving him wrong.”

This isn’t true, she loves working with Mulder, and believes her rationalizations only serve to build him up (they do). Recent tension between them would make her fear that Mulder thinks this way - that she has no purpose in their quest. Her unwillingness to believe, that it’s only about wanting to be right, will only serve to drive him away.

I love that Scully faints from fear at seeing the holes in Lyda’s stomach and Maurice’s head. When confronted with something SO UNBELIEVABLE, something that cannot be denied or rationalized or put in a box she just shuts down.

Lyda → Mulder

“I was young and beautiful once, just like your partner.” Any acknowledgement of Scully’s beauty just makes me 😍

“Maybe you two should have discussed your real feelings before you came out here.”

Heck, yeah! But Mulder can’t let himself. Even if he knew Scully felt the same about him, he doesn’t deserve to be loved by her.

Comparing Mulder’s reaction to seeing the hole in Lyda’s stomach to Scully’s. He’s disgusted because he accepts it as reality as a matter of course, while Scully is (literally) scared out of her mind.

When Lyda suggests Scully would shoot herself, Mulder’s “I wouldn’t let her”. 😍

“We're not lovers.” - Mulder, said with a sigh “And this isn't a pure science. But you're both so attractive and there'll be a lot of time to work that out.” - Lyda

Ummmmmmmmmm… can we have ghost-Mulder and Scully AU fanfic please?

Maurice → Scully

Mulder as “dark and lonely” - suggesting that he took the car keys to keep her with him. The little nuggets of truth that Maurice and Lyda offer to Mulder and Scully make it easier to accept the other things - the fears that they have about each other.

He’s got no one this Christmas, and she had no idea. 😥

Maurice and Lyda trick Mulder and Scully

When she sees “Mulder”, she’s so relieved and happy.

When “Mulder” rants about loneliness. Scully doesn’t believe in it. She thinks they can change, that they can choose to not be lonely. (This comes up again in “Milagro”. A VERY SIGNIFICANT EPISODE. Hnnng.) 

“You’re scaring me.” - Scully (2)

Scully’s face when he’s about to shoot himself. 😥

Mulder finding “Scully” 😥

Crawling along the floor in their blood.

“Are you afraid, Mulder? I am.” - Scully (3)

They can’t shoot each other, even when thinking that the other did it to them.

Of course Mulder figures it out first. He’s more open to believing that this is an illusion, a trick. Something unreal and paranormal rather than the reality of them having shot each other. He reaches for her and helps her up, showing her the evidence in front of her face that this isn’t real. Touches her uninjured stomach, covered in blood.

Lily Tomlin as Lyda and Ed Asner as Maurice were amazing. I loved their playfulness. That this was a horror-comedy instead of just a tragic, scary story.

Back at Mulder’s apartment

“I don’t deserve to be so happy.” - on the television in Mulder’s apartment at the end. How sad. But it describes him so perfectly this season. He doesn’t believe he deserves happiness. That he got to spend some time with Scully was wonderful, but now he’s back in his lonely apartment wishing she was still there, but not thinking it should ever happen. He knows what makes him happy, sharing and spending time with Scully, but she has her own “normal” life that he can never be a part of, that he doesn’t DESERVE to be a part of no matter how desperately he craves it.

When she shows up, he’s delighted. That she wants to be there with him, enjoys spending time doing WHATEVER, even if she’s scared, or refuses to believe. She enjoys their connection just as much as him. She views him as an important person in her life, just as much as her family. He agrees with Scully that it didn’t happen, doesn’t push her on her stubbornness to not believe, because he’s just happy she’s here. He chooses the opposite of loneliness.

Their acknowledgement of the fears that they have. Mulder’s on being selfish, and Scully’s on her reasons for working with him. I love that they mention these things rather than the ones that are actually true.

They do some heavy gazing at each other when talking about their vulnerabilities. 😍

I love how bashful they are when giving each other presents. It’s so cute!

Scully loves presents. I just love that tidbit about her. I don’t think she’s materialistic, the present could be anything. She just loves that someone cares enough about her to get her something meaningful, she loves the anticipation of unwrapping and seeing what it is.

After they opened their gifts, I think Scully invited Mulder to her mom’s house. Knowing he has nowhere to be, no one to spend it with. I just can’t see her choosing to leave him alone, and she WANTS to be with him. WANTS to live a life where they are together for holidays and significant events, not just because of work.

[delcat177]

We DIDN’T Start the Fire: Introspective

I’m actually feeling a little more validated by every shitty message, as contrary as that seems. I really do care a lot about kids, I have a clutch of niblings in my chosen family, I plan on having tads myself someday, and more than that, I sincerely do believe that children deserve MUCH better protection online. Kids deserve best. That’s a tag, you can check it.

But back when I got called out, I was in a very vulnerable place, trying to figure out my own head, and despite having an absolutely inverse reaction to kids in any kind of intimate fashion (I mean, except familial I love you platonic...would you call it intimacy, making stegosaurus pancakes, Christmas morning, warmth is what that is I think I DIGRESS),,

It freaked me. They were saying the same horrible things about how my fiancé was gonna get hurt, kids were gonna get hurt, I was enabling rapists and pedophiles, I should go eat shit and die (from someone who told me they got horribly triggered by the phrase ‘eat shit’ and guilt-rolled me endlessly for it, at that).

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t stop checking myself going “am I being Bad, am I being Gross, oh no I can’t Netflix and chill because if I’m in my intimates and a kid shows up I am basically molesting that child”, like. It has been BAD. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to be mindful of what you do, the discomfort from seeing a kid on TV while I’m having a saucy couch day is genuine gross-out because it crosses wires I don’t want crossed, but it’s also only hurting me.

Last month I nailed down the realization proper, after talking with a good friend--like the religious paranoid who is constantly vigilant and terrified by intrusive thoughts of blasphemy, or the parent paranoid who is constantly vigilant and terrified by intrusive thoughts of killing their new infant, I had developed into a prospective-being-around-kids-person who was constantly vigilant and terrified by intrusive thoughts of “if I am a sexual being in the same universe as a child it will hurt them”.

Hashtag actually OCD.

I used to be the religious paranoid. The idea of Doing The Worst Thing is so gut-wrenchingly disturbing that you can’t block the idea out, and if you don’t realize that mechanism, that it IS the Worst Thing, you turn into a mess of WHY DO I THINK SUCH TERRIBLE THINGS (for reference, this is not thinking about children sexually in any way, which would be the actual worst thing, but, again, my private adult sexuality somehow harming children who aren’t even present in the same state as me, who have no idea I even exist). It was the same damned song and dance as when I used to pray nonstop because I thought I would go to Hell otherwise.

I genuinely only realized this in mmmmmmmMarch

so it’s actually really timely to be bombarded by actual kids in my inbox and going “oh, yeah, no, all I want to do here is shoo them off so they don’t read my bondage fics”. I don’t want to interact with them. I definitely don’t want to *interact* with them. I just want them safe.

It’s been a very freeing realization, that I’ve been stuck with policing myself militantly when I believe in neither of those institutions and that there is absolutely no way I’m harming anyone by thinking about smooching while watching Stranger Things, even if the true object of my heart is only onscreen sometimes...

(doki doki Demo <333) (”stop having feelings for monsters”) (HARKNESS TEST MY DUDE)

...because I am not a pedophile. I have no interest in children. I have so un-interest in children that I’m haunted by the idea of GETTING an interest in children, which is just not how it works. I don’t feel sexy when the kids are onscreen, I feel YEAH YEAH YOU GO GUYS GET ‘EM Dustin you’re my favorite don’t tell the others. I want to give them big bags of quarters for the arcade and maybe while they’re gone see about romancing an eldritch abomination. THAT is what I am about at my core.

Honestly? I don’t think I even want real-world sex. With anyone. For now, at least, I would have to go through some very deep and targeted therapy to up my self-indulgent...self-indulgence to include another person because of how I was traumatized, and a spotter for anxiety attacks. I don’t know if it’s entirely out of the question, but it’s not a question I’m asking. People think sex is the biggest thing out there. It ent. It’s a hobby. A fun one, for me, alone, solo. I’m good. I’m covered.

So here we are, landed in the worst case scenario--kids coming into my private space--and I didn’t even think of harming any of them, because of course I wouldn’t, why did I think I ever would?

If there’s a moral here, it’s even if you think your OCD is under control, you should always be aware of your inclinations towards your particular brand of obsession and compulsion, know how to deal with intrusive thoughts and habits, and don’t let people convince you you’re what you absolutely aren’t because they hate your guts and slash or they’re bored.

can we please put this in a time capsule and send it back to when I needed it in 2015

no?

FINE I’ll just live my best life jeez

(demmy-san, won’t you help me dust the shelves? You’re so big and strong, and I just can’t reach~) (”you are impossible”) (damned straight I am)

[lilahdesignforperformance]

DESIGN MATRIX

CHARACTERS:

Physical characters:

Alannah Devlin

Fianna Devlin

Da - Peter

British solider

Mentioned characters not necessarily seen:

Mammy

Father Kearney

Maggie

CHARACTER CHANGES:

Alannah Devlin ( Early thirties)

Fianna Devlin ( Late twenties )

Peter “DA” Devlin ( Mid-fifties)

British soldier ( Mid-twenties )

Crocodile - Da

ALANNAH -

Clean (OCD tendencies), innocent (unsure, on edge), quite, polite.

Smokes secretly

Shuts down gets panicked from the fire alarm

Becomes fed up with Fianna

Over thinks which can be seen by her story about the lyrics from Africa by Toto

Becomes more and more agitated and uneasy

Alannah becomes transfixed by chaos

Loosens up which is seen as she takes swig from the bottle Fianna was drinking

Eats the chips off of the ground

Starts to drink more and smoke without trying to hide it

Stabs DA (character shift) - this is the turning point for Alannah and how she breaks out of the innocent, quite and polite shell she was living in

Becomes wildly drunk

Changes completely from who she was at the start as she now wishes pain on DA when before she was too afraid

FIANNA -

Aggressive behaviour from the beginning

Forward and confronting “i’m not gonna hurt ya, i’m just gonna bash your face in”

Expressive of her emotions 

Fianna switches from chaotic character to being the character with their head screwed on when Alannah becomes erratic 

DA -

Paralysed

Gunshot wounded

Bleeding out fast

Bossy

Rude

Controlling

Becomes legless after Alannah saws his legs off

Non responsive

Manipulative

COSTUMES:

ALANNAH -

Hair in Scrawny little bun

Puts a pair of marigolds on

Becomes covered in Da’s blood

FIANNA -

Wreath around neck

Dirty boots

Tattoos

Leather

Big hair

Denim

Gun

Cigarettes

Becomes covered in Da’s blood

LAYOUT OF SET:

Isolated farmhouse - refurbished in 70’s-80’s

Cream laminate cabinets, wooden table matching chairs, pale tiles, modest stove

Stage left door to outside world, with a small telephone table and mirror hanging above

Downstage right staircase and hallway covered by curtain

Upstairs over the sink, large window that stares out to darkness

Uncomfortably clean

Muggy

Shiny worktop

New wallpaper

Pristine

Toilet down the hall

Everything within the cupboards is colour coded

No bin inside

Chair that Da is sat on

Candles scattered across the room

PROPS AND USES:

Rock thrown through window

Stove - Alannah cleans it precisely and intensely

Eight packets of crisps which are referred to as sad crisps

Incense is lit becomes extinguished by Fianna

Rock smashes window (page 40)

Alannah slices bread - burns it

Gun in Fiannas pocket

Cigarettes DA rolls

Bottle of rum in wine glass

Alannah tops up drink, slices apple

Telephone - Alannah picks up, pauses, puts it down

Pipe on the table

Fianna has a chainsaw

Alannah drinks rum from the bottle

Alannah puts pot on stove

Fianna plays banjo

Fridge freezer stores a CD

Knife used to stab Da

Coin (heads + tails)

Glass of cold water (To revive DA)

SLK riffle at Alannah's head

Petrol bomb

LIGHTING:

Night (dark) - act 1

Occasional search light outside - Act 1

Weather begins to get worse, begins to get even darker

Cloudy weather outside

Light flickers - Page 76

Light flickers - Page 80

Light flickers - Page 88

Black out

Candle light

Candles go out

Flash of light - Page 114

Black out - End

MEDIA REFERENCES:

Thunder crackling (Act one)

Helicopter sounds over head 

Frog croak

“Some say the Devil is Dead” The Wolfe Tones

Window smash

The Shining

The Poltergeist

Fire alarm

Frog croaks again pg 51

Flush of toilet

Knocking from upstairs pg 57

Africa by ToTo plays pg 60

Both Fianna and Alannah sing

Music volume increases (come on feel the noize by quiet room plays)

Roof hammers

A gunshot pg 72

Water splashes onto floor

Telephone rings

Frog croak pg 75

Thundercloud breaks“Africa” TOTO

Turns of music

“You’ll never get away from me” by Tony Bennett plays

Turns music off

Storm raging on

Demented noise, from “Alligator wine” by screaming Jay Hawkins

Carrie

“O-O-H child” The Five Stair steps

Noises upstairs, noise upstairs stops

Pan smashes to the floor

Soldiers radio, speech and the static

Thud from upstairs, house shakes

Crackling on radioHouse shudders

Blood dripping

Predatorily breathing

Female screen from cassette player, scream melts away

Helicopter sounds overhead

Frog croaks

Chainsaw

EXTERNAL REFERENCES:

Set rural Camlough, south armagh northern Ireland 1989

Tayto Cheese and Onion crips

Superking Menthol Cigarettes

Ireland

Bible verses

Paras

G&T

The Clangers

Jay Hawkins

Armagh Jail

Newry canal

Chinless wonders

Armagh

Rachel O’Briain

Rachel Devlin

A Nightmare On Elm Street

Quiet Riot

Bible verses

Asmat tribe

Leviathan crocodiles

One Eyed Willie

Billy Connolly

IRA

Colossians: chapter three, verses twenty-two

Hitler

Bible verses/prayers

Children of the Corn

Brits

South Armagh, North Ireland

Corinthians: Chapter Eleven, Verse Eight

Empress Jaro

Psalms

MUSICAL REFERENCES:

The first song mentioned it Africa by TOTO. "Africa" is a song recorded by the American rock band Toto in 1981, for their fourth studio album Toto IV, and released as the album's third single on September 30, 1982, through Columbia Records. The song was written by band members David Paich and Jeff Porcaro. 

Lyrics:

I hear the drums echoing tonight But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation She's coming in, 12:30 flight Her moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation I stopped an old man along the way Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies He turned to me as if to say "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you" [Chorus: Bobby Kimball] It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had [Verse 2: David Paich] The wild dogs cry out in the night As they grow restless longing for some solitary company I know that I must do what's right As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti I seek to cure what's deep inside Frightened of this thing that I've become [Chorus: Bobby Kimball] It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had [Bridge] Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you [Chorus: Bobby Kimball] It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa I bless the rains down in Africa Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The second song to be mentioned in the play is Cum on feel the noize by Quiet Riot. Quiet Riot is an American heavy metal band founded in 1973  by guitarist Randy Rhoads and bassist Kelly Garni. The band is ranked at No. 100 on VH1's 100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock

Lyrics:

[Chorus] Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Wild, wild, wild [Verse 1] So you think I got an evil mind I tell you, honey I don't know why I don't know why So you think my singing's out of time It makes me money I don't know why I don't know why Anymore, oh no [Chorus] So come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Wild, wild, wild Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Baby! [Verse 2] So you say I got a funny face I got no worries And I don't know why I don't know why Oh I gotta sing, it's some disgrace I'm in no hurry And I don't know why I don't know why Anymore, no, no, no [Chorus] Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Wild, wild, wild Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild, baby Come on! [Guitar solo] [Verse 3] Well, you think we have a lazy time You should know better I don't know why I don't know why So you say I got a dirty mind I'm a mean go-getter I don't know why I don't know why Anymore, oh no Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Wild, wild, wild Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Oh, wild Come on! (Come on!) Feel it! Come on! (Girls, rock your boys) Work it! We'll get wild, wild, wild (We're gonna get wild) Wild, wild, wild (We're gonna get wild tonight) Come on, feel the noise (Rock it tonight) Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild (Oh, yeah) Ah, ah-ah ah-ah (Whoo!) Ah, ah, ah Come on, feel the noise Girls, rock your boys We'll get wild, wild, wild Ah, ah-ah ah-ah Ah, ah, ah

The third and final song reference made in the play is You’ll never get away from me by Tony Bennett. Anthony Dominick Benedetto (born August 3, 1926), known professionally as Tony Bennett, is an American singer of traditional pop standards, big band, show tunes, and jazz. He is also a painter, having created works under his birth name that are on permanent public display in several institutions. He is the founder of the Frank Sinatra School of the Arts in Astoria, Queens, New York.

Lyrics:

You'll never get away from me You can climb the tallest tree, I'll be there somehow True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat" But a little thing like that couldn't stop me now I couldn't get away from you Even if you told me to, so go on and try Just try and you're gonna see How you're gonna not at all get away from me Rose, I love you, but don't count your chickens Come dance with me I warn you, that I'm no Boy Scout Relax awhile, come dance with me So don't think that I'm easy pickin', the music's so nice Rose, 'cause I just may some day pick up and pack out Oh, no you won't, no, not a chance No arguments, shut up and dance You'll never get away from me You can climb the tallest tree, I'll be there somehow True, you could say, "Hey, here's your hat" But a little thing like that couldn't stop me now I couldn't get away from you Even if I wanted to well, go on and try, just try Ah, Rose and you're gonna see Ah, Rose how you're gonna not at all Get away from me

SPACE CHANGE REFERENCES:

Uncomfortable clean space “shinny, perfect”

Window in kitchen becomes broken from a Fianna throwing a rock through

Floor tiles become muddy from Fianna’s boots

Fire alarm ripped from the ceiling

Becomes smoky from cigarette

Pipe on table- Page 73

Smell of burnt bread

Table moves and becomes dirty as Fianna stands on it

Alannah opens all the cupboards

Crisps opened and crushed all over the floor

Hallway door opens as Da comes in

Blood begins pooling out onto the floor

Pot brewing on the stove

Da slumped in a chair in the corner, legless

Blood spilling out onto the floor

Stew all over the floor and pan is knocked over

Smokes comes out from the curtain

Leviathan crocodile in room

Smoke billows from behind the crocodile

Cupboard door is ripped off to barricade window

PHRASES/SLANG/TERMS:

Craic

Sacred heart

Mother Superior

Wreath off a hearse

Crown during The Famine

Dirty we tout

Firebug

Ye

Hold on a tick and a half

Okey dokey

Daft eejit

Crocodile tears

ALANNAH -

Polite “please, Thank you”

“Flipping sake”

“Oh whoop-dee-flippin-do”

FIANNA -

“Some say the devil is dead

“Thanks be to god”

“Pot fucking kettle, gin eyes” pg 43

“Taking the mick” pg 45

“Ireland, through us summon her children to her flag and strike for freedom”

“See you later alligator, fuck off crocodile”

“So you think i’ve got an evil mind (quiet riot)

“Ye daft cunt”

THEMES/GENRES:

References to mental illness such as OCD

Black comedy

Stockholm syndrome

Sister relationship

Reference to domestic abuse and pedophelia

Sexism

REFERENCE IMAGERY:

70′s Kitchen:

70′s Wallpaper:

Farmhouse:

Crocodile:

Lighting:

[partyblade67]

What Is Ocd?

Yoga For Anxiety.

Content

The Signs That You Need Aid For Stress And Anxiety.

Therapy For Children As Well As Youngsters In Glasgow.

What Is Act Therapy?

A hidden compulsion might be mental counting to neutralise a troubling and also unwelcome image. An obvious compulsion is physical, as an example, cleaning, or checking points repeatedly to stop the obsession. Uncontrollable practices are really organized - most frequently set to a regular in an effort to avoid the apparent danger from taking place. You may really feel a responsibility to accomplish certain activities to repress the hazard, as you really feel that it will certainly hurt on your own or a liked one. The compulsions are employed as a coping system to ease as well as 'stop' the thoughts from ever before taking place. For example, if you believe that you may damage a close participant of your household, you will demonstrate compulsive behavior.

Contact your General Practitioner or treatment group right away if you ever before feel you can not take place. You can also phone the Samaritans on, or you can call one of these helplines or support groups or NHS 111. Keep in mind, you're not the only one as well as even simply speaking with a person regarding your problem can considerably boost your lifestyle.

The Signs And Symptoms That You Need Assistance For Anxiousness.

If you are experiencing a boost in anxiety and also distress and also require extra assistance, there is no embarassment in asking for it. We share recipes, health understandings & reality success stories from our patient households. Given over 70% of our body immune system remains in the intestine it is not shocking that poor "seeding" with germs as a result of C-section and the loss of microbial debt to anti-biotics can incline kids to immune disfunction. Normally, OCD behaviours are very first observed in late youth or early adolescence. In children with autism, the onset tends to be a great deal earlier, manifesting before the age of 3. The remaining 60% don't respond and also are delegated deal with this devastating symptom.

Religion - feeling as though you require to state prayers a particular amount of times to recover your confidence after having anti-religious ideas. Contamination - really feeling the requirement to clean because of the worry of something being dirty. Just half an hour of exercise a day can help to refocus your mind and will likewise release feel-good endorphins-- helping relieve sensations of anxiety. While it is possible to just have compulsive thoughts or simply have obsessions, a lot of victims will certainly emulate both. Anxiety-- the undesirable fixation then prompts a sensation of intense stress and anxiety or distress.

Therapy For Children As Well As Young People In Glasgow.

Typical reasoning is impacted which can be very upsetting and obsessive thoughts can be overpowering, using up hrs of time. Such idea patterns are tough to damage and it is not uncommon to seek routine guarantees. Obsessional concerns don't always lead to compulsive rituals; instead they can create intense worry of an outcome. Fascinations may have to do with violence, contamination, sexuality or injury. Points in your life are not in the proper order or not symmetrical sufficient or in the appropriate area e.g. ornaments are out of positioning as well as you really feel troubled by this. The primary psychological treatment for OCD is cognitive behavioural treatment consisting of direct exposure and also feedback prevention. About Us can help ease anxiousness as well as support those with OCD.

How long can anxiety last?

Anxiety is often related to a specific situation. It tends to build up and continue for some time. A panic attack starts suddenly, symptoms peak after 10 minutes and usually abate after 30 minutes or so, although the effects may last longer.

My daughter established anxiousness, OCD and illogical anxieties, intense rage and extreme sensory handling difficulties. There were some very long as well as dark days for our family as well as it would be years, having left a route of specialists and also bunny openings behind us, prior to our child would certainly be diagnosed with PANDAS by a doctor in the USA. It is recognized as a covert problem as many people with BDD are as well embarrassed to reveal their main trouble. We know extremely little concerning cultural influences in BDD-- for instance, it might be more usual in cultures that place a focus on the value of look. In the West, it is equally typical in males and females although milder BDD may be much more usual in ladies. Obsessions are irrational as well as not reflective of common behavior or values.

What Is Act Treatment?

Marriage Counselling looks to educate the person that it isn't the thoughts that are the major issue; it's what the individual construct from those ideas as well as exactly how they act on them. Ways of believing-- Depending on the individual's moral outlook on life, ideas like 'what would occur if I stepped in front of that train? Yet if a person has an incredibly high feeling of obligation and also morality, they might feel that it's their fault these involuntary thoughts enter into their head, that makes the thoughts more likely to return. The quantity of inspecting that is needed to 'neutralise' the fixation varies from duplicating it a few times to hundreds of times, which can take hrs. This recurring monitoring can seriously influence a person's job and also individual relationships. I began picking up little rituals that I felt urged to do for no actual reason.

CBT can not remove your troubles, yet it can aid you handle them in a more workable way.

It is based on the understanding that your thoughts, sensations, physical feelings and actions are adjoined, and also can catch you in a vicious cycle.

CBT is a structured talking therapy frequently used to treat stress and anxiety and depression however it can be made use of properly for other problems.

By the end of the program you'll understand what encourages people, and be able to help them boost their efficiency, wellbeing, and management abilities.

This programme provides you with a wide understanding of the concepts and methods of dance motion therapy essential for secure as well as efficient scientific job, and also enables you to practice as a dance motion therapist.

Fascination-- where an undesirable, invasive thought or prompt repeatedly gets in an individual's mind. OCD affects different people in different methods, however usually appears as a particular pattern of behaviours. Patients discover themselves in a cycle of fascinations and also obsessions, and because both are spontaneous it can be really difficult to quit. Anxiousness regarding coronavirus is normal and also you are definitely not the only one. The circumstance is raising stress and anxiety in even the most stalwart person.

Adhd Institute Meetings.

If you have OCD, your fascinations will more than likely focus on worries, fears, impulses or even photos. Short-lived alleviation-- A short-term relief from the stress and anxiety or stress and anxiety is gained from the uncontrollable practices. This cycle repeats when the fascination returns, usually right after. There are a number of misleading stereotypes bordering this problem, including the suggestion that victims are very neat and clean.

I was stepping on drains pipes a certain number of times, touching certain things two times and avoiding many situations in instance I could not finish my obsessions. While every instance is special, lots of people that have OCD state their symptoms began in childhood. Kids with OCD might stress that points aren't in the 'ideal order', they may be worried about shedding ownerships or have an obsession to gather things. If the obsessions are concealed (i.e. can not be seen externally) someone might state they have 'Pure O'.

[heartscfvalor]

Introducing: Spencer Reid

“Where did you find this kid?”

“He was left in a basket on the steps of the FBI.”

Dr. Spencer Reid, born to William and Diana Reed on October 28th, was a childhood prodigy, graduating high school by the age of twelve, and continuing on to pursue and gain three PhDs in Mathematics, Science and Engineering. The cause of his genius may pertain to his eidetic memory, as he can remember an extraordinary amounts of information with nearly crystal clear details through visual means; his ability to retain auditory information is less than his visual information, but he can still recite certain speeches from memory, including in languages he doesn’t actually speak.

Likely due to his genius nature, Spencer was classified as an awkward and frequently bullied child, as many considered him a freak, and his home life was unfortunately not much better. William left the family after a known pedophile had been murdered in front of his wife, Diana, and he had helped her burn her clothes, and the weight of that knowledge had made things too hard for him, though he gave the official reasoning for his leaving as not being able to handle Diana’s paranoid schizophrenia anymore. Being raised by Diana did not do wonders for Spencer, as she often had episodes, and so, by the time he was eighteen year old and officially could take over her care, Spencer had her put in a mental institution, not visiting as often as he really wanted to, and writing her letters everyday.

For as someone as socially awkward as himself, and seemingly oblivious to social cues, Spencer decided to join the FBI as a Supervisory Special Agent in the BAU. He devotes his time to profiling serial killers, as well as literally everyone else around him, in an effort to understand people better, as well as to keep tabs of his own mental health. Since schizophrenia is genetic, Spencer has fears that he may, someday, succumb to the disease that has taken hold of his mother; besides his worries of developing schizophrenia, Spencer also has Asperger’s Syndrome, a somewhat milder form of autistm, as well as a small sprig of undiagnosed OCD. He is a self certified technophobe, as well as a germaphobe, and strongly dislikes being touched by strangers.

Despite everything going against him, Spencer is also deeply loyal to his team, and he forms very strong emotional attachments to all of them. Aaron “Hotch” Hotchner is his boss and mentor, and Derek Morgan and Penelope Garcia are, to his own opinion, his best friends. Everyone on the team is hopelessly fond of him, if not exasperated by his tendencies to go into long winded ramblings, or trying out a new magic trick with his sleight of hand talents, or even timing people for very mundane things such as reading, or their morning routines. Because of this, everyone is very protective over Spencer, and they’ve dubbed him the “certified genius” of the BAU.

As I am a bit out of the loop for Criminal Minds besides some sporadic episode watching, my knowledge on Spencer is a bit limited to the wiki page, and I plan to start watching the show on a more regular basis now that I seem to be adjusting to my new job. Spencer is available to any muses within the CM fandom, as well as some crossovers.

[amphtaminedreams]

A/W 2020 Fashion Month: Before Vogue Went Blank (Part 2)

Hi to anyone reading,

I was going to start this post by jumping straight into Dion Lee and part 2 in general but there's been a lot going on the past couple of days-although this blog is primarily fashion, it wouldn’t feel right to start talking about designers without acknowledging all the shit that’s been going down.

^Photo Credit to @spiltcoco on Twitter

Yesterday, police footage came out of US police murdering yet another black man in broad daylight-George Floyd. He joins Sandra Bland, Eric Garner, Tamir Rice, Freddie Gray, and Alton Sterling, plus hundreds more named and god knows how many more unnamed African American citizens in the ever-growing list of victims of police brutality.

The majority of these are just people going about their daily lives, a majority of them doing absolutely nothing wrong; even those we know to have committed crimes have been unarmed and non-violent offenders. That being said, their offences are beside the point when we’ve seen the white perpetrators of mass shootings be calmly cuffed and escorted into the backs of police cars as if they were the ones selling cigarettes without permits. American police, given the amount of them that are armed, regularly become judge, jury and executioner trained for 8 weeks by an institution that originated from slave patrols. I cannot imagine how terrifying it is just to walk around as a PoC in America. I cannot imagine the collective trauma that has been suffered because of recent events on top of the intergenerational trauma that most likely exists because of centuries of oppression. I cannot imagine what it’s like to live in a country that was built to suppress you and was by law allowed to do so until very recently, those original structures still in place. I cannot imagine what it’s like to be made to feel like this is your fault. I mean, Boris Johnson is a useless, cold-hearted twat and I won’t defend him or this country for a minute (we have much blood on our own hands, and racial profiling is just as much a thing here as it is in America-I read earlier that you’re 28 times more likely to be stopped and searched in London as a non-white person compared to a white person), but I still can’t imagine him publicly advocating for the mass murder of groups he knows to be primarily made up of black people via Twitter. This whole situation is so unimaginably fucked up; anyone who still sees America as one of the world’s most developed nations needs to take a long, hard look at what is going on and reconsider that opinion.

Whilst we can’t fix everything, we can all speak up and make our voices heard, and it is our duty to do so. It’s not good enough to just “not be racist”, you have to be ANTI-racism, even if that means constantly reflecting on your own privilege and challenging your assumptions. Neutrality is complicity. Signing a petition isn’t going to change the world, but it’s a start:

https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?recruiter=false&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=7ba70000-a127-11ea-87fb-d1ff0bf6ea96

As I publish this, there’s less than 50,000 signatures needed to hit the target of 6,000,000 so if you happen to see it, get signing! There are lots of other petitions online but Change.org seems to be the only major one you can sign in the UK as the other are US based and require a zip code. I never thought I’d close a paragraph by quoting Macklemore but the line “no freedom 'til we're equal, damn right I support it” is at the forefront of my mind right now. Again, neutrality is complicity. We’re never going to achieve a fair society by sitting on our asses and hoping things will improve. Let’s all do the best we can.

Sorry if that intro wasn’t what you came here for, but I just think it’s so important to talk about. I know I’ve said in the past that fashion is supposed to be an escape from everyday life but there are some times when real life needs our attention and this is one of them. Feel free to unfollow if you disagree.

Anyway, onto the fashion. If this is the first post you’re reading, welcome! There’s a part 1! But I don’t wanna be pushy so start here if you wish!

If you read part 1, welcome back! 

I ended that post by practically falling at the feet of Dilara Findikoglu, and I so wanted to start this post by regaining a sense of dignity and go straight into what-the-fuck-ing at Dior, but I know breaking chronological order would really piss off those “OmG I’m SoOo OCD, tHis BuzZfeEd aRtiCle WiTh DiFfereNt SiZed TiLes ToLd Me!” which is basically me minus claiming liking things to be organised means I have OCD-no, just dermatillomania and the denial that a compulsive skin picking disorder has anything to do with OCD because the neuroses club that is my brain doesn’t have any space left. SO, I have to continue where I left off and star the post with Dion Lee, whose collections I am a big fan of.

I could ramble a bit more but I did enough of that at the beginning of part 1 and am sure I’ll do more than enough in this post anyway, so here it is, Dion Lee:

Considering we ended with the maximalism of Dilara Findikoglu, sliding back over towards the other far end of the scale with a designer that tends to pitch their tent on the borders of the minimalism camp feels correct. Dion Lee, fortunately, seems the perfect collection to open with. There aren’t many other brands who do edge in such an understated and masterful way. If you want to be ready for combat and look like you’d fit right in at Vogue at the same time, look no further. This season’s collection is full of perfectly placed cut outs and immaculate tailoring and subtle street fighter-esque details as ever, and that’s why it pains me to say it:

Not that this is enough in the way of critique to restore my dignity by any means, it’s not a patch on last season.

I don’t think there was a single bad look in that show, and at times it felt like I was weeding through them here. When the looks were good, they were GOOD but a lot I found to be disappointing. Plus I have no idea why you’d put tie-dye in an A/W collection. I appreciate that it’s an Australian brand and that our winter is their summer, but they’re presenting to the rest of the world at fashion week and anyone in Paris, Milan, London and New York is going to be freezing their tits off and looking like a twat in an orange tie-dye sundress. There wasn’t much of a dip in quality for the menswear compared to last season, but honestly womenswear left a lot to be desired. That’s what happens when your expectations are high.

I used to think that if you assume the worst, it’s impossible to feel let down. And then I saw Dior’s A/W 2020 collection. Did a full 180 on that statement.

I suppose it’s a step up from haute couture, but then at least the styling in that was simple, and it just didn’t look like anybody had tried at all; here it’s clear Maria Grazia chucked everything she could at this collection, every headscarf, every gingham print, every shallow feminist undertone, and it was still a fucking mess. At first you think some of the individual pieces are cute but have just been ruined by the styling, and then you begin to look, and realise that even those individual pieces could’ve easily been bought in a New Look Boxing Day sale.

THIS IS CHRISTIAN DIOR, SUPPOSEDLY ONE OF THE MOST LUXURIOUS BRANDS OUT THERE. WHAT IS GOING ON!? 

I don’t know, I included as many looks that I didn't mind as I could, but it’s like there always has to be a crappy, unnecessary detail in there. Everything is so literal. Of course the collection based around the divine feminine has the models dressed like basic ass Greek goddesses, so of course the collection based around the modern woman and equality has women walking the runway in ties and ill-fitting shoes too. Maria Grazia, here is a box:

Think outside of it. 

Next is, thankfully, Elie Saab:

No, not exactly a trailblazer of a collection, but executed with poise and elegance as always. I mean, the styling is spot on. It looks like each part of the outfit was made for another, to contribute to a whole clearly envisioned look, similar to what we saw in the Alberta Ferretti show. Elie Saab is known for its haute couture shows where all the tiny details, the sequins and the silk and the embroidery come together to make something beautiful, and this is just that on a larger scale, with less “wow”s and more quiet admiration, more wishing you were the one wearing that outfit. If you’re gonna play safe, do it this well. The night dresses are stunning of course, but not even my favourite bit of the show. It’s the casual looks, the pussy bows and the ruffles and the neck scarfs and the private girls school monochrome colour palette with the occasional pop of red or purple, a toned down version of what we saw at haute couture, any of which deserve to be worn whilst eating macarons in front of the Eiffel Tower before trip to Musee D’Orsay. It’s Poppy Moore’s school uniform grown up and made fit for a fashion magazine editor:

Somehow managing to cram an Emma Roberts early 2010s fashion moment into every post is my talent, who knew. Wild Child was really a gem.

Erdem was a mixed bag:

With a lot of the outfits, I can’t tell if I actually like the garments that much or if I just like the look as a whole. I mean, without sounding too gluten-free Callie from the Valley, I like the VIBE, but there was a lot of outfits I almost included before I had to ask myself “LAUREN, do you ACTUALLY like this or do you just like the walking-into-your-sugar-daddy’s-will-reading-to-claim-his-fortune DRAMA of it all!?” 

It happened a couple of times, where once I took off my black and white, theatrical violin accompanied entrance filtered sunglasses, I realised that the actual print was ugly. A collection so cohesively ornamental and kitschy is going to lean too far into that at times, and they were a few overly-fussy moments where it seemed less nudge nudge wink wink and more like Erdem Moralıoğlu fell into his grandma’s wardrobe, stole some fabric, and called it a day. I don’t want to sound like I’m not a fan of the collection because overall it’s gorgeous, I just thought it was a bit much at times.

Continuing with the theme of clever seasonal continuity that weaved its way throughout this year’s A/W offerings, Ermanno Scervino kept the core of his summer collection and made it just that little bit darker, added some weight to everything, and this is one of the rare occasions where I like the winter incarnation a lot more. I’m not huge about either but there’s a lot of things I’d love to wear here, the coats especially.

Up next is a reliable favourite of mine: 

Etro.

Was it REALLY necessary for you to include ALL those coats I hear you ask?

Alaska Thunderfuck as Gia Gunn voice: Absolutelyyyy.

When it comes to bohemian fashion, Etro is unbeaten. Everything is always exquisitely coordinated and styled. Like I usually fucking hate aztec print but I love the way it’s done here. I’ve never known a brand to make belts seem like such an integral, tasteful part of the outfit in a field where they so often seem like a last minute addition for the sake of accessorising; it pains me to say it, but Elie Saab, I’m looking at you. It’s your only fault. 

Yes for bringing back embroidered jeans! Yes for all those high necks! Yes for the tapestry print! Yes for the Afghan waistcoats! Etro will keep fedoras cool forever and I love them for that; I don’t know if she ever actually wore any of their stuff but I just know Stevie Nicks was in her prime would’ve ate this shit UP and she is my style icon for the ages. Plus, I might be way off base here but a lot of the collection seems to be inspired by traditional Romani style and it’s a beautiful direction to take things, a treasure trove of layers upon layers and rich textures and opulent prints.

I can’t wait til the phase of my phase of my life where I can swan around in maxi dresses and ponchos. I just hope those maxi dresses and ponchos are Etro.

Onto another brand which hasn’t had a bad show since I started my reviews: Fendi. This season, they took their late 60s/early 70s wild child aesthetic and gave a millionaire’s high maintenance wife spin on it, and what’s not to like about that? 

I mean, Fendi is a brand which is always going to excel in its F/W presentations-the rich, bohemian prints (pro-tip: if you can’t already tell, me mentioning the word bohemian in a review pretty much guarantees I like the collection), the furs, and the warm colour palette all perfectly translate into clothes suited for walks through a city going through a post-summer burnout, where it rains red and orange leaves. You can tell Silvia Fendi is in her element when she’s got texture to play with, something that comes across in the gorgeous coats Fendi consistently puts out, and this season continues that trend. Plus, there’s a lot of adorable details here-shoes that show off the decorative socks underneath, the cube shaped bags and those furry ear muffs which I hope bring about a high street muff renaissance because they’re the equivalent of slipper socks for my ears and THEY’RE ACTUALLY REALLY PRACTICAL. The only thing I’m not in love with is the mirrored glasses, and I can’t help but think how replacing them with a pair of grandad style aviators would be the icing on the cake for the collection. Maybe I just need to see Miss Robyn Rihanna Fenty wearing them and then I’ll get on board. Usually works.

Ah, GCDS. I got so excited for it after last season but this time round, it was a bit of a disappointment. There were a few outfits that semi-matched up to how cutting-edge I saw their last collection, however a lot of the pieces looked pretty low quality. I get that streetwear is in the name, but it’s supposed to be a high fashion take on that, and a lot of the looks were quite pedestrian. Stand outs are the top 2 rows and the leather motocross style jumpsuit on the far right, third row down, but the quality of these pieces wasn’t consistent across the board and I feel like I ended up having to convince myself I liked some of the others just so I had enough photos to justify including the brand. It really sucks when I look back on how ahead of the game last season’s collection was-we’re talking outfits that wouldn’t be out of place on Instagram’s Tokyofashion page and as far as I’m concerned that’s the fashion holy grail. Some of these looks, especially the menswear, could be from a Boohoo TV ad and that makes me sad.

Meanwhile, Giambattista Valli put out a collection that looked like a virtual postcard of Parisian fashion; if a St-Germain-des-Prés streetwear themed Instagram doesn’t exist already, someone should capitalise on that, stat, because if my typical vision of French feminine fashion is correct it would be full of outfits like this. I feel like this is what a fashion novice EXPECTS Chanel to look like. Trust me-these days the reality is much more disappointing.

There’s many things I'm happy to see here besides the tulle and florals and prettiness I expect of the brand. Obviously the berets and the bows and the elbow length gloves are the kind of off-duty ballerina style touches I’ve become accustomed to but there are also some nice surprises here: the military style white jacket, the unexpected snake motif on clothing that’s otherwise overly delicate, and to my delight the return of the boater hat. IDGAF, this is the summer where I’m buying myself one off Ebay and making this happen for me whether they become a “thing” or not. I shouldn’t squander having this little of a double chin; the opportunity may never present itself again. 

I haven’t watched Killing Eve in a longggg time since there’s only so much of two women attempting to kill each other and then miraculously avoiding death you can watch but I’d love to see Vilanelle prancing round a city in this kinda shit slitting some necks again. I hope that doesn’t make me sound like too much of a sadist; only in a purely fictional world is this something I want to see, I assure you.

Givenchy was really, really great this season too, imo. Definitely a step up from the last RTW anyway. Aside from the drama of the exaggerated floppy brim hats and the quirky tassle detail dresses a la Schiaparelli, a lot of these outfits kinda remind me of something a Miranda Priestly/Cruella De Vil type would wear, and you know me; I’m all for that kind of intimidating, about-to-either-slap-you-or-fire-your-ass bad bitch energy. The gathered leather gloves with the androgynous subtly checkered power suits feels CORRECT and if Giambattista Valli is the bottom in this relationship, Givenchy is the top. Am I allowed to reinforce sapphic relationship stereotypes as a bi girl? Probably not. I’m sorry. Won’t do it again. Just this once. And you know I’m right really xoxo

And OMFG Gucci. Another impeccable collection for me, honestly. Once again, it’s probably my favourite of the season. How it is that Alessandro Michelle gets it SO right for me despite his vision being so bold and different every time? He has this specific brand of strange, conceptual beauty which blends past and present trends in a way so supreme it should be considered art. It’s not a term to throw around loosely but the man is a genius, and tbh I’m still not over the human head props from the 2018 F/W winter show.

In my Haute Couture week review, I talked about the Viktor and Rolf collection (which I loved, don’t get me wrong!) and said that pretty meets grunge is my fave thing ever-this is that, but much even more substantial and intelligent. The Wes Anderson-esque pieces or that late 60s/early 70s hipster aesthetic that I loved in last season’s show hasn’t been done away with either-be it the level of detail or the colour scheme, it all somehow fits together. Never did I think I’d see dresses fit for porcelain dolls through the lens of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen seamlessly slotted in between outfits that could’ve been put together from the clothing rack of Dazed and Confused’s costume department. I want it all-opulent fur-trimmed coats, crucifix jewellery and pilgrim hats I’m sure both Edgar Allan Poe and modern goths would approve of, and the tiered skirts that wouldn’t be out of place in a Westworld saloon. The models were delightfully sad and almost creepy looking and I wouldn’t change that for the world. To say 10/10 doesn’t do it justice, so I’m gonna have to open a reviewer’s can of worms and say 100/100.

Gucci is a tough act to follow, and I’m sorry it has to fall onto the shoulders of Halpern. In the nicest possible way (as if there is any nice way of saying it), I don’t think I any expected anything but a downgrade, so if anything, my standards will be lower so...Michael Halpern, you can thank me I guess? 

That was really mean, I’m sorry. It’s not a bad collection, and I definitely like it more than last season’s. It’s a slightly garish colour palette at times but an exciting one in spite of that, which when paired with the animal print dotted throughout makes this collection the perfect fit for a tropical beach party or at the very least, a semi-decent night at the Caribbean themed bar in your local town centre. The sequins and silk, a Halpern trademark, are as tastefully done as ever, and seeing them on the models, I can’t deny these are some power fits-the kind of clothes you are bound to look and feel confident in; if you wanted to play queen of the urban jungle for a night, this is what you need to be wearing.

Ah, Hermes.

Generally not one to stoke a fire inside me. In all fairness, the tailoring here is really, really nice and French biker chic, and the pieces are perfectly crafted-it’s not that I don’t like the outfits because I think that if I saw one of them individually in a natural, messier setting I’d probably be impressed. These are classy, elegant winter looks and what more could you want when you’re looking for outfit inspiration for this season? It’s just that it’s always a little too neat and uniform for me, and on the runway I like my fashion to be risky. This could almost be the sophisticated mother to a Tommy Hilfiger collection and whilst that’s something I would probably wear if I wanted to look put together, it’s not what you get excited to see at fashion week. Primary colours all together aren’t where it’s at for me either, the infamous colour scheme of the cheap plastic playhouses you’d find in the garden of every working/middle class British household back in the day. Yes, I had one. So did the after school club I was forced to attend whilst my mum was at work. Apparently the negative connotations are still too much for me (a boy I went to the after school club with did once fall off the back of one and crack his head open so maybe it’s justified).

Isabel Marant was pretty much exactly what you’d expect from Isabel Marant; if the Etro bohemian woman is one who rolls out of bed and chucks on the first thing she sees, the Isabel Marant bohemian woman is the one who claims she’s done the same thing but who actually planned it all out the night before. She designs for the gluten-free, bikram yoga Kourtney Kardashian style “hippy” who claims to be a free-spirit but would definitely not do acid with you. I was gonna say it was a collection for the Gwyneth Paltrows of the world but then I remembered Gwyneth proudly released a candle she claimed smelled like her vagina and changed my mind-she’d definitely do acid with you. 

It’s definitely a cohesive transition from the summer collection; both have that seemingly laid-back, clean-cut vibe, and cater to the rich, impeccably groomed scented candle loving woman everywhere. Obviously the pieces are a tad more suited to an alpine lodge in Switzerland than a beach in Malibu this time round, but that same mild colour palette, pretty, naturalistic patterns, and generally relaxed fit persists. It’s cute enough.

J.W Anderson is a bit of an enigma.

Despite the experimental silhouettes and the kooky details that you think would very “look at me!”, the collections still seem to have a chilled, easy-going feel to them. They toy about with the strange but remain entirely sophisticated whilst doing so-I think it’s because aside from the little quirks that make the garments J.W Anderson, they’re otherwise fairly reserved and simple; even the quirks themselves mostly tend to be exaggerated, more conceptual takes on more typical stylistic motifs anyway. Anderson has a knack for producing statement pieces that don’t look like they’re trying too hard to be statement pieces, a talent he expertly deploys at Loewe as well. Whilst Maison Margiela collections are like the fashion equivalent of that Jughead “I’m weird, I’m a weirdo” speech, J.W Anderson’s refusal to conform is quiet and modest. I like it. It’s not generally my personal style but I can admire the thought behind the work, and there are still some things I’d love to try. I have a few standouts-the shoes with the hoop detailing dancing from the ankle straps, the dress on the bottom right with what appears to be art nouveau typography on, the trench coat with the cape detailing and the gossamer dress to its right are all stunning, especially that dress. If I ever want to dress as the bubble Glinda the Good Witch descends in when she meets Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I know where to go, though I don’t suppose there’s going to be an occasion that calls for that any time soon. Can I just have the dress anyway?

Kim Shui is another new designer I found through blessed Twitter screencaps-thanks guys for doing my research for me. Much appreciated.

But anyways! Like Charlotte Knowles, it’s clear she’s still establishing her aesthetic as a designer, and thus far I love it. The whimsical, throwback prints on urban silhouettes that range from the androgynous suits of city dwelling cool girls to the amped-up sex appeal of nightclub dresses is gorgeous, especially twinned with dainty headscarfs and opera gloves-all in all I think this a very cool and wearable collection and I’m looking forward to the next collection she puts out.

Next up is Lacoste, and IDK why I always include their collections to be honest, considering they’re not really known for “high fashion”. I guess it’s because my dad has collected Lacoste shirts since I was little so I kinda have a soft spot for it and feel obligated to include it every time presentation season comes around. Yes, the outfits are unbearably preppy and the colours are garish but I feel like that’s kind of the appeal? So what if some of the tracksuits look like they could’ve been pulled out of a bad mafia movie? I see the argyle jumpers, with a bit of wear and tear, as a charity shop gem my sister would come across (she has the #Y2K Depop girl knack for finding old designer pieces in the shittiest charity shops without the audacity to try and sell them at a 70% markup) that I would then steal from her wardrobe to wear myself, contrasted with a ripped mini skirt, chains and and docs. I see the POTENTIAL of a look that is very fuck you to the rich middle age tory styling we see here. It’s punk, okay?

Lanvin was STUNNING this time around. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching Mad Men recently and it reminds me of the fashion on that-which I hope somebody won an award for at the time BTW, it is SO fucking good-but I just adore every look here. I can’t even remember if I reviewed Lanvin’s SS20 show, and so clearly if I did it wasn’t that memorable (no shade intended), however this collection is a different story. Every single one of these outfits is iconic movie moment worthy, a 60s Cher Horowitz plaid two piece equivalent that would get screencapped and replicated ad-nauseam, all the best looks of Betty Draper and Peggy Olsen and Joan Holloway and Megan Calvet brought together and refined for the modern day woman. I might even consider sacrificing my anti-royalist principles if it meant I could transport myself back in time and switch bodies with Grace Kelly so I could make this collection my princess-off-duty wardrobe and drive around Monaco in that Bella Hadid look, roof down, all the drama of the fur trim and the gloves and hair whipping about in the wind (but in this unrealistic vision I can actually see what I’m doing and I’m not choking on random strands and swearing at Mother Nature as if she is a real entity with a personal vendetta against me).

Loewe! More J.W Anderson! I’m gonna try not to repeat myself by arsekissing too much all over again and get the good points out of the way quickly! So rapid fire: elegant! Delicious colour palette! Interesting shapes! I think I’m seeing a Victorian/Edwardian influence there! Correct me if I’m wrong! I like it! The coats are strong! Remind me of the suffragettes! But lets pretend in this case these Loewe style coat wearing suffragettes are not raging classists!

AH. Apart from that, it was a bit too austere for me. I definitely preferred Anderson’s eponymous collection; there were a fair few recurring details in this show that I couldn’t get behind that I didn’t include, in particular this bib-like black panel that just kept popping up on everything. Sorry J.W Anderson. But a 50% success rate is still good! And at the end of the day, having 2 collections on Vogue Runway at once is more prestigious than the accumulative total of every accomplishment I’ll probably ever have achieved in my life by the time I’m on my deathbed so what do I know anyway? Sigh:( At least I’ll always have the honour of having the largest head by circumference of my class in year 4, right *sweats nervously*!?!?! 

Louis Vuitton was definitely a downgrade on last season for me. There were for sure elements I liked-the Vera Wang-esuqe mixing of the tulle bustle skirts with the rougher, more masculine biker inspired vests and jackets was a cool choice, reminiscent of Gucci’s mixing of the lace dresses with harnesses. I enjoyed the baroque jackets and subtle nods to steampunk style too. Though we’ve already seen it a lot this season, the wet look coat with fur trim I can’t help falling in love with, and I’m immune to the potential ugliness of the muted blue monotone look purely on the basis I can picture Ripley from Alien in it. So like I said-it’s not as if I hated it. I guess when it comes down to it, the collection wasn’t bad so much as I just had higher hopes. I will say though, the staging was INCREDIBLE. As a history nerd, I never thought I’d see the day when a Henry the 8th lookalike actor was part of the backdrop of a Paris fashion week show-and I always thought there was no interesting career path for me in the subject!

And another big name I don’t tend to be so partial to, Maison Margiela. IDK, I did like last season but I wasn’t a fan of haute couture and it took me a while to warm to this. Call it deconstructed, experimental, whatever, but you know when you can’t decide what to wear and you’re in a rush so you kinda just throw all the shit you decided against into a pile? Well, my initial thought was that this season Margiela is kinda that, on the runway.

I will say, once I let go of my need to see a clear shape, a lot of the individual pieces were stunning (NOT the puffed up tabis though, I still can’t even get behind the regular ones). I guess I just wish they’d go for less is more with the styling because as it currently stands, it makes it hard to actually take the clothes in. 

Ultimately, one thing you can always say about Margiela, like their clothes or not, is that it has a monopoly on being effortlessly bold.

Marc Jacobs I really liked again, though I will say it doesn’t stand out quite like the S/S collection did. That was absolutely STUNNING-I can’t remember specifically where I ranked it in my top ten but I know it was at least in the top 5. This, on the other hand, is...pretty. It’s very pretty, and very put together, so I’m not saying at all that I don’t rate it. I suppose it’s just a lot simpler than I expected it to be-I don’t have a problem with simplicity, at all, especially if it’s what a brand is known for but I feel like part of the appeal with Marc Jacobs is that it’s pretty kooky. I mean, not Thom Browne or Margiela kooky, but commercial kooky at least. I feel like the kookiness is lacking here? And that’s where this feeling is coming from? And also, the fact that Lanvin tackled the same era and did it a lot better? So there’s that, too. Plus, I adore Miley Cyrus but...why? Random celebrities waking the runway just doesn’t do it for me-it always comes across as a publicity grab, as if the designer isn’t confident enough in their collection’s ability to get people talking on its own, and I suppose in this case that says it all really.

Margaret Howell was...well, Margaret Howell. She’s known for her basics, and they’re always pretty non-offensive “regulation hottie” in the words of the icon that is Damian from Mean Girls. It’s been, what, four years? More? Since I last watched that film but I’m pretty sure watching it about twenty times between the ages of 9 and 15 tattooed it on my brain. I include her because even though they don’t get my pulse racing, I like these pieces; considering the fact that expecting straight white men to ever have style on the level of barbiedrugz (his instagram is my favourite thing ever) or Rickey Thompson is ludicrous, Margaret Howell’s menswear looks are probably are the best, realistic goal for any future partner. Because I like my men dressed like Paddington bear/a depressed Brown University English lit lecturer, okay? Or in other words, Will Graham from Hannibal.

Marine Serre had a few good moments-the looks that I liked were the ones that stayed within her lane of blending the weird with the visually appealing. There were a lot of cool things going on, and I like the utility vibe (the boot with the pouch detailing and the mask are perfect examples of this done well), but outside the fits I picked out a lot of it went over my head tbh.

Marques Almeida is a show I was looking forward to-it has such a youthful, experimental quality to its collections (it’s no surprise the designers said they were influenced by the HBO show Euphoria this year!), similar to Central Saint Martins, and you can tell the designers (Marta Marques and Paulo Almeida) are based in London too; we are talking about the birthplace of the punk fashion movement, and as a designer it’s probably almost a rite of passage that you incorporate elements of that into your work. Marques Almeida does that with a flair and consistency you can count on. Their clothes don’t have the wildest silhouettes or anything like that but the fun they have playing around with print and colour and the ease and confidence with which they settle on those combinations always comes through-the black and white coat with the yellow furs trim is one of my favourite pieces from the entirety of this season’s offerings.

I wasn’t so fond of Max Mara’s SS20 collection and I'm not gonna lie, this isn’t THAT much of a step up for me personally. It’s just one of those brands I feel obligated to include because it’s talked about quite a bit but I’m not totally sure if it’s for me. Too monotone, but I’ll give it another season! And I mean, there is a slight improvement here-this collection is a lot more laid back than the stiff, austere feel of the last, and there are some very well fitted and structured pieces. A lot of the looks kinda remind me of a 2020, fashion take on The Breakfast Club’s “Basket Case”, which is kinda cool, and just from looking at the clothes, the high price tag is palpable. Also, scruffy hair club unite! Though obviously it’s intentional here! That’ll be my excuse for the next time I turn up at work looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards-Max Mara made me do it.

Ending on those words of wisdom, I’m gonna bring this post to a close, because I can’t fit any more photos in! I’m desperately hoping that I can fit this all into 3 parts like I did with my last RTW review but even if I do have to make 4 posts, I still include my top 10 shows as I did before. I hope to get that post up within the next couple of weeks! After that, I’ve shot a Lana Del Rey inspired by each of her different albums and “era”s though given last week’s events I’m on the fence about whether to post it or not, especially given her silence over the last couple of days. I’m really proud of what I’ve put together and I’ll always love her art and music (I have 2 bloody tattoos, for fuck’s sake!), so I’m trying to think how I can reconcile that with those awfully worded posts and just the general lack of awareness of bigger issues that she’s displayed the last week. JFC, being a Lana stan has always been so chilled up until now. All the very valid and important takes aside, that “Lana pls delete that post and apologise, we can’t fight the barbz all your stans are depressed” tweet is the only good thing to come out of this shitshow. He got a point. Breathing feels like effort lately:( IDK, if you’re also a Lana stan and you have any opinions on the matter, feel free to DM me, because I’m feeling pretty conflicted rn.

Most importantly though, are the issues I opened this post by talking about, and I thought I’d finish by including the thread of petitions I saw on Twitter. Like I said, a lot of them aren’t available to sign in the UK but to anyone who read up until this point (thank you!) idk where you’re reading from so maybe some of them will apply to you:

https://twitter.com/yericvIt/status/1265801832930045953

Also, while we’re at it, because every tory voting twat seems to treat our country as if it’s some beacon of hope where racism is non-existent and love to tell PoC to stop moaning about their experiences, here’s a thread of black British men and women who have lost their lives to police violence:

https://twitter.com/illh0eminati/status/1266441604170223617

Thank you for reading until the end. I hope that you enjoyed the fashion part of the post but also that if you did read this far, you read the other bits too if you didn’t know what was going on already. It seems like everyone does but you forget that Twitter’s a bit of an echo chamber and that outside of it, there’s a lot of ignorance, whether intentional or not. I know Tumblr has a similar audience to Twitter so I imagine there’s loads on here about everything going on too, but ya know. I wanted to talk about it just incase. 

Stay safe, keep fighting the good fight, and again, thank you for reading!<3

Lauren x

[margomoment]

(tw: sexual obsessions) i’m so sorry if this is inappropriate and if so there is no need to answer but one of my biggest fears is that IF i ever meet someone who can accept me (HIGHLY UNLIKELY LMAO) and we do end up having s*x i’m so scared i’m going to just picture my family and people i shouldn’t. if you have any experience whatsoever anything. i’m so sorry if this is inappropriate

Hi! I do have some experience with this fear. It pops up every so often, especially when someone flirts with me or I attempt to go on a date. Finding love with OCD is possible, and you can have a healthy relationship with s*x even with sexual obsessions. The key thing to remember is that the mind will wander during sex, and it can wander to anything. What you think about during s*x is not your sexual attraction, it’s just your brain figuring out what the actual fuck is going on. It happens with masturbation as well. Think of it this way: during s*x, your body and mind relax. Similar to when you get in a hot tub or put a lavender candle out. Your brain wanders when it’s relaxed in those situations, so why should we punish our brain for wandering in a similar one. I know it feels taboo and scary, and just knowing that “thoughts are just thoughts” is not always going to get rid of it, knowing that you’re not alone helps. 

The Child Mind Institute writes in an article about teen sexual obsessions, “People with sexual obsessions might also worry that they have taboo sexual desires such as pedophilia or incest. Just as in the other examples, they don’t actually experience these desires, but they are disturbed by the possibility that they might.” CMI also states that this is not an uncommon obsession in teens-- and presumably that carries over into adulthood if left untreated.

This form of OCD can be treated, as with all forms, and decrease anxiety. CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ERP (Exposure-Response Prevention) are two of the most well studied and well-documented therapies for OCD.

Yes, your thoughts are scary and taboo, and that’s what makes them intrusive. They are not you. You are what you decide you are and what you want to be.