#oddly ranpo did the same with him

[sadlynotthevoid]

Since I saw that post about og!Cale solving a murder crime in Alberu's noble meeting, I've been obsessed with detective!ogCale, who solves crimes on his free time because he's too fucking bored.

Hence: bungo stray dogs crossover AU where, while a transmigrated RokSoo and company go around doing the usual "let's mess with white star" stuff, og!Cale got basically adopted by a bunch of weird professional detectives.

I'm talking about an AU where bsd happens in the world of tboah/tcf. So, while a member of the agency was going through the county for reasons, they witness og!Cale stealthy dropping a hint about a mystery to a near knight. Then he leaves, pretending to be drunk all the way to his home.

What everyone else sees is the local drunkard ready to cause trouble at the minor inconvenience.

What the detective in question sees is a very bright teen, good at solving crimes, who has nothing to do but pretend to be drunk. Needless to say, they take Cale back with them.

(It could be anyone, but it's most likely to be Dazai if they just take Cale with them and don't tell anyone. Though, I think it would be funny if it was Kenji the one who did it. Double-way adoption ensues)

Og!Cale is puzzled at how he ended up at the Armed Detective Agency as a recruit, but he doesn't complain. He even likes his job and his coworkers, even if Dazai keeps trying to unalive himself.

Besides, he doesn't have to keep with his trash act here. Everyone here is smart enough to tell he's acting. They're detectives, damn it. It would be strange if they didn't notice.

So, freedom.

And the ADA people like him too. This quite quirky, smart, witty and creative teen fits just right with them.

At some point, Ranpo has to tell him that "no, you're not smart. You're really smart. Not as much as me, although" because og!Cale's hypercompetence is normalized for him and sometimes he doesn't realize that "everyone else hasn't reach to that conclusion yet" when talking with normal people.

Fukuzawa looks at this sassy child and is like "I guess I got yet another son". Because, why would the hella rich son of some noble be so happy to join a group of strangers and do all this hard job? You can say he obviously loves his family from the way he talks about them, but he also brights up at the minor genuine act of care. It's concerning. Not urgent, but still concerning. He's keeping him. He's eighteen, legally an adult, and came on his own will. So, It's not a kidnapping.

[eriace]

a familiar clue ; ranpo edogawa

oneshot & fluff ↪ in which ranpo reunites with his childhood friend, now a forensic pathologist, and realizes she’s been the only mystery he never wanted to solve too fast. ↷ ranpo edogawa ; bungou stray dogs

↳ an order of caramel macchiato from @sailorstar9 in the comeback cafe event !

FOR SOMEONE WHO solved crimes before breakfast, Edogawa Ranpo didn’t often find himself caught off guard.

That is, until the doors of the Armed Detective Agency opened to reveal the new liaison from the police department—a forensic pathologist, they’d said. Quiet, precise, analytical.

But what Ranpo saw was you.

You, with the same h/c hair he remembered tugging in elementary school, and the same e/c)eyes that used to narrow at him whenever he bragged about being the “greatest mind in the room.”

You blinked. Slowly.

He grinned, wide and obnoxious.

“Well, well, if it isn’t the girl who tried to outsmart me in fifth grade science class.”

You rolled your eyes but your lips twitched. “That’s rich coming from the boy who once used a magnifying glass to cheat on a test.”

“It was deductive reasoning, thank you very much.”

“It was blatant cheating, Ranpo.”

You were different now—lab coat draped over your shoulders, voice calmer, more measured. But you still had that sharpness in your gaze, like you could read people down to the bone. The years hadn’t dulled you.

The team welcomed you, of course. Yosano was the first to strike up casual conversation, Dazai hovered teasingly with suggestive remarks about “reunited childhood sweethearts,” and Kunikida promptly handed you paperwork.

Ranpo watched it all with a lollipop between his teeth and something oddly warm in his chest.

Later, when you sat across from him at a case board, your eyes scanned the evidence spread across the table with quiet intent. Your fingers tapped in a rhythm he remembered—one you used when thinking hard.

Ranpo leaned in, his tone uncharacteristically soft. “You really became a forensic pathologist, huh?”

You shrugged. “Someone had to balance out your chaos with some logic.”

He smirked. “You still think you’re more logical than me?”

“I know I am.” You paused, then looked at him. “But you’re still Ranpo. The same annoying genius I grew up with.”

He grinned. “Annoying, huh? You always did love saying that.”

“I still mean it.” But the smile you gave him was gentle.

That evening, the case wrapped up early. As you gathered your notes, Ranpo stopped you near the elevator.

“Hey.” His voice was quieter now, a rare drop in volume. “It’s nice… having you here again.”

You tilted your head. “You mean at the agency?”

“I mean near me.”

Your breath hitched. A beat passed. Then:

“I missed you too, Ranpo.”

He beamed.

“Took you long enough to admit it.”

© eriace ;; don’t repost my works.

[theuntoldoriginsoftheportmafia]

Part Ⅴ Escape - Chapter 1.5

☽ The Hitman's Dream ☾

2,215 Words

Dazai Osamu has never run faster in his life. 

As soon as the car he commandeered pulls into the dead end he starts full out sprinting. The large warehouse is easy to spot. It looks just like any other, save for the blue and red glows coming from inside. Flawless and Strait is the Gate locked in battle.

Slowing himself to a silent stop, Dazai creeps along the edge, picking the simple padlock on the side door. In seconds, he's in. The men stand, face to face, guns drawn.

Oda dodges and in three seconds Gide fires. Oda does the same, and just like him, Gide dodges. Matching each other's movements. Pushing and pulling like magnets.

'At this rate it's a battle of stamina. It can't go on forever, eventually they'll begin to tire, one of them will be too slow and then . . .'

Dazai doesn't want to think about that, and doesn't want to imagine his dear friend lying bloody on the ground. So he doesn't think. He acts. He fires his gun. The bullet finds its mark in Gide's back causing blood to spurt like fireworks from his mouth, spill over his lips, down his chin, and onto the concrete floor.

There's an old phrase by an American author, Ralph Waldo Emerson. "When you strike at a king, you must kill him." Marksmanship has never been Dazai's strong suit, and having only one eye in use doesn't help. Gide isn't dead yet.

In his final act, Gide raises his arm weakly, but it's just enough. Both men pull their guns at the same time. They pull the trigger, the sound echoing through the empty space. A sonic boom. Gide falls to the ground . . . so does Oda.

The red puddle grows, resembling a fallen rose, the shreds of a torn kimono, as it creeps across the ground. 

Dazai's eyes widen, round like the wound in Oda's chest. He runs to him, falling on his knees. "Odasaku!"

"I'm here Dazai. Thank you for coming to save me." he says, voice weak.

"Of course. Let's go back." Dazai grabs his older friend's hand, seeming to ignore the bleeding wound. He's in denial, refuses to think that he won't make it. He has too. If he doesn't, nothing will be the same again. "Yosano will heal you. I'll get you to Yosano. She'll heal you. You'll be good as new."

"Da . . . zai, I . . . can't."

"Yes, you can."

At this moment Dazai has never been more grateful for Nakahara Chuuya. If not for his endless competitions with his chibi in everything from martial arts to just plain running, if it wasn't for the drive to be the better one, the stronger one, then he'd never have been able to lift Oda.

He takes back what he said before. The way here was barely running. Nothing compared to now. He runs until his chest hurts and he's out of breath, and even with his feet aching and his head pounding. 

'The poor civilians will have gone by now and taken their car with them. Mori could have a car here in minutes, but I don't trust him. No car or bus will take me. I need Chuuya. I need . . . my phone! I left it! I can't believe I . . .'

Where the thin alleys turn back into full road, a car waits. A shining, dark green jeep with painted orange flames and no top, engine still on. A boy with hair like the flames on his car sits in the driver's seat.

"Get in!"

Dazai doesn't need to be told twice. He hops in and lets his partner use his ability to lift Oda into the back.

"How did you . . .?"

Chuuya gives a tense eyeroll, "You really think you're the only smart one around here, don't you."

Dazai says nothing, indicating that he's not amused.

"I forced the location out of your pal- Don't give me that look, I didn't hurt him! He wants you back safely as much as I do. He agreed as long as I promised not to go until you left the warehouse."

"He put a tracker on me!" Dazai realises with an uncomfortable start and begins patting himself down.

A memory comes to him of Ranpo's last shove, right before he fell. He slipped something in Dazai's pocket. Dazai digs around with his bloodied hands until he pulls out an oddly symmetrical sweet.

As annoying as it is to have Ranpo pull one over on him, he has bigger things to worry about now than his friend's unorthodox protectiveness.

'Does Mori have access to this? I can't ask Chuuya, I can't show him my doubt, not yet.'

"Yeah." is all Chuuya says, shrugging and shaking his head in mock amazement as if to say 'You really thought I'd just let you go? You didn't think I'd come for you? Don't be an idiot.'

A groan comes from the back seat, Dazai turns his head so fast it hurts.

"D-dazai?" Oda coughs.

"I'm right here. You're safe. Gide's gone. You're safe."

"You can slow down now, I won't make it, and driving this fast isn't safe." Oda furrows his brow, raising himself as if to try and see the speedometer. Even near death his protective instincts don't include himself.

Dazai turns to his partner "Chibi, floor it."

"What do you think I'm doing?" the red head mutters, knowing better than to start a fight when someone's dying in the back of his car.

'The warehouse was all the way across town, and we're still a few miles from HQ. There's only so many cut throughs I can take before I'll have to enter the business and tourist areas. I'll have to slow down then. Better bank as much time as I can.' Chuuya thinks, frowning when the speedometer reads only 160 kph, willing the pedal to sink down further.

"Dazai! Please slow down! You'll both get hurt." Oda pleads

"No. We're close."

'We're not.'

"We'll take you straight to Yosano. She'll fix you. Yosano's going to fix you. Fix you right up, just like new."

Everyone in the car can hear Dazai beginning to unravel as the life drains out of Oda through the hole in his chest and the car seems not to be getting any closer to it's destination.

"Listen, the bullet's close to my heart, I think. It's still in there, I can feel it. No matter how good a doctor she is, I don't know if there is any fixing this. I want . . . I need you to be ready for that."

"No. I'm not ready! Chuuya, use gravity, take the bullet out!"

"I can't, not from here. If I just yank it out, it might hit something else. Even if it didn't, it's holding the wound closed, it needs to stay in or he'll bleed out. You know that. Calm down, you're not thinking straight."

Small drops of water form in Dazai's right eye and behind his bandages, wetting them as they get bigger.

"He's right . . . I want you to know that I want better things for you."

"Stop!"

"I-"

"Shut up! Save your breath."

"Dazai, let him speak." 

Dazai glares at his partner, who keeps his eyes fixed on the road ahead. Oda grabs the boy's hand, looking sadly at his own blood that stains it. It's only this that keeps both men grounded.

When Oda speaks only a whisper comes out, scarcely audible over the wind's roar. "Dazai, listen to me, please. I know it makes no difference to you, but please become a good human being. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. I suppose you don't care for either justice or evil . . . but striving to be a better person is a wonderful thing."

Oda stares into the distance, Dazai follows his gaze. It's golden hour, when the sun casts a bronze glow onto everything in reach. In the evening light the five towers of the Mori Corporation glitter like the ocean. 

'How can something so evil look so angelic?'

Lost in thought, Dazai doesn't see Oda's eyes close. 

When he does turn again the man is limp, but smiling.

"Odasaku! No!"

Chuuya's voice shatters the moment, "Dazai, we're here!"

He nods, numbly.

-

They run to the lift, Dazai pressing the buttons over and over in panic, Chuuya floating Oda behind him. When they get there the door is open. Ranpo and Yosano are waiting.

The Angel of Death works quickly, removing the bullet, her dark rainbow of butterflies surrounding the unconscious Oda, healing him from the inside out.

When the butterflies disappear, Dazai starts to shake Oda, calling out to him.

Nervous, he looks to Yosano, "Why isn't he answering?"

"He's fine, just unconscious. There's nothing more to do but wait."

'Even I'll admit that it was close. If its had been two centimetres left. If they'd got caught in traffic . . . He's not going to wait is he? He's going to make himself sick pacing around here. But he'll only do the same thing in his office if I kick him out . . . best to just let him stay I guess.'

'I always wish he'd look less dead, but I think this is worse.' Chuuya looks at his distraught boyfriend. He's never seen emotion like this on him. It makes him reach out, despite Dazai's aversion to touch.

Dazai turns at the contact, but doesn't flich. An improvement.

"Hey, Osa, you stay with him. I'll fill the mission paperwork."

That big brown eye looks up at Chuuya with utmost gratitude. 

'Chibi hates paperwork.' but more important in his mind 'Chibi is going to face Mori for me.'

With a sympathetic smile Chuuya drops his hat onto Dazai's head and walks out. The two masked executives follow him.

"All the cabinets are electronically locked. Don't try anything. He'll be fine in a few hours." Yosano's voice calls as the three leave.

Dazai doesn't answer, instead observing Oda.

'He thought he'd died. He thought he'd died and he looked so happy. He's not happy now.'

"Are you happy, Odasaku?"

Only the whir of the air con and beep of the vital monitors answer him.

"How can I make you happy, my friend?"

In the silence that follows, Oda's words come back to him, as if the man is truly awake and beside him.

~ 

Two people sit with a stool between them.

"Read any good books lately, Dazai" Oda asked, trying to fill the silence in the unusually empty bar.

"Yes. A Shameful Life by Oba Yozo is a delight to read. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know . . ."

"Don't you?" Dazai had asked with those eyes that stare into a person's soul.

The gaze forced the 22-year-old to answer, "I've always wanted to be an author . . . it's the reason I don't kill anymore."

Dazai laughed, a single bark, more out of rare surprise then humour. "Oh? Do you think it'll keep you out of trouble? You've committed plenty of other crimes that the police could have you for."

Oda shook his head, pausing for a sip of his drink. "No, it's not that. I know I've done many wrongs, but long ago, I met a man who told me who told me that one who kills, one who causes death, has no right to write about life."

"Hmm." Dazai tapped his chin in thought, "Well, it sounds as rational as anything else elders say. I don't see a problem with it. Let's drink. Bartender! Another round, put it on my tab."

~

More recent words flood his brain before Dazai can fully process what he's just remembered.

"I know it makes no difference to you, but please become a good human being. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. I suppose you don't care for either justice or evil . . . but striving to be a better person is a wonderful thing."

'Doing good he says . . . is that what would make him happy? Then why hasn't he left?'

"Why are you still here. After all this time? Why didn't you leave?"

Oda's hand twitches, grabbing onto Dazai's.

"Odasaku! You're awake."

Oda snores softly. Dazai deflates.

'That's my answer, isn't it. He stayed because he had nowhere else to go. He stayed because of me. I'm the one that did this to him. I have to help him.'

"I'm going to help you Odasaku. I'm going to get you out of here. I just need some time to prepare, please trust me."

As day turns to night Dazai holds Oda's hand.

When Dazai feels sleep nagging at him he bows his head, ready to let it come, instead he's met with a hat in his lap. Chuuya's hat. It smells like his conditioner, a warm scent. To Dazai, it smells like home.

'Nakahara Chuuya. What am I to do about him? He'd never come with me and I could never hurt him by leaving him.' In the cold dark silence the thoughts that consume Dazai's restless soul are much louder, impossible to ignore 'But would it hurt him? Does he truly love me or is this just a fling for him? He deserves much better, someone as lively as him, someone who can keep from insulting him at every turn. I mean, he's probably going to leave me anyway. I could never stomach the heartbreak, so I should leave while I still can.'

"I'm such a coward, Oda, would you mind if I came with you. Would you mind it if we could run away from all this together?"

Soon, sleep overtakes him. He'll have back cramps later, but for now it's okay.

[detectiveyue]

Counting Sheep

-> when he can't sleep

Includes; Dazai, Chūya, Ranpo, Atsushi, Fyodor, Nikolai, Tetchō, Jōno

-

—DAZAI. Preying victim to the neglect of sleep was an ailment that had often plagued him - even when it betrayed his own desires. But he had to admit there was a warmth that tickled his ribs and flutter his heart his heart as his gaze settled over your resting form. Eyes shut and head pressed to his shoulder, snuggling into him even whilst dozed into your reverie - he had to suppress the urge to clutch his heart or place kisses along your cheeks that would bring your rest to an abrupt halt. And as irresistible as that urge seemed, he concealed it away with a sigh, hands tangling around your body until nothing separated the two of you. His lips naturally found your forehead, indulging himself with a gentle kiss. Even if he couldn't sleep, he certainly didn't mind basking in your company, his heart swelling in sensations that was increasingly familiarizing himself with. He welcomed it.

—CHŪYA had allowed his feet to direct him aimlessly, circling around the rooms of his apartment, passing the same peice of furniture in the nth time as his mind drifted elsewhere. He wasn't sure how long passed when he was snapped from his thoughts at the sound of your voice, a tired slurred "Chū...?" bringing a small grin to his face but also an inkling of guilt. " Sorry doll, did I wake you?" He asked, beaming slightly at the sight of a blanket draped over your shoulders while you rubbed your eyes in lazy motions. You let his inquiry fall on deaf ears, instead casting your own question; "can't sleep?" You hardly needed an answer. His response was written in the whole situation, really. Chūya's heart fluttered as you wordlessly lifted your blanket, silently inviting him to your side. He wasted no time to accept your offer, slumping his head on your shoulder despite his mind not feeling any traces of sleep. He allowed you to guide him back to your shared bedroom, finding a familiar placement of his side of the bed. His voice tickled against your temples, soft but evident. " What would I do without you?"

—RANPO. You were awoken with a couple nudges to your shoulder, your consciousness stirring back to recognition as you were greeted with the sight of Ranpo crouched beside you. Uncharacteristically, however, he seemed mildly frustrated - hair sticking our haphazardly and an pout jutted on his lips. " Cant sleep." Was all he murmured, gaze softening slightly as you acknowledged him with a murmur. He really didn't want to wake you. He had downed a glass of milk, fluffed up his pillow, and counted sheep with little avail. He waited for you to sit up before plopping himself down on your lap, sleepless green eye reflecting back at you. " Play with my hair, pretty please?" You could tell by the way his finger fiddled with the comforter he was being oddly serious. The relief was evident the moment you started to play with his hair, muscles becoming slacken within your arms followed by a deep sigh. For a second, you caught a flicker of the familiar grin that had always etched himself on his face - the pinch between his brow ceasing. " Better?" Ranpo tilted his head back, eyes still unwavering with his cheeks stretching into a more pronounced grin. " Maybe another goodnight kiss or two."

—ATSUSHI tried to keep his tossing and turning to minimum, considerate to your sleeping figure right beside him. He wasn't sure how many holes he's burned into the ceiling by now, and the clock perched nearby taunted him silently with each glance.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Ideal No. 6

(738 words)

Getting to the office early isn’t a problem because of my insomnia. It’s so simple, instead of lying in bed for hours I slip on my clothes and walk to the office.

Kunikida will be so surprised when he sees me before him that he’ll just have to say something.

I’m so childishly giddy at the thought that I can hardly concentrate but I make myself. I take my paperwork off Kunikida’s desk and start filling each form out and typing up the digital copies one by one. I’ve done 10 paper and digital copies now and I put down my pen at the sound of footsteps.

Kunikida walks right past me like he doesn’t notice me at all. He sits down at his desk, but his hand hesitates over his laptop. I force myself to resume my work, as if this is nothing out of the ordinary. He hasn’t looked at me or addressed me yet so I keep my eyes on the paper.

I look up once as I hear his chair slide back. He stares at me for a second, his grey eyes filled with surprise, then suspicion and then exhaustion. His lips form a thin line, no words leave his lips. Not even a thank you.

Well that backfired! But he’ll slip up eventually, I just have to keep this up and he’ll surely confront me.

-

The president gets here and greets us both. I find great relief in hearing Kunikida’s voice even if the words aren’t for me. 

One by one my colleagues arrive, Kyouka, Kenji, Atsushi, Ranpo and then Yosano,

They all react with surprise in there different ways:

Kenji happily greeted me, saying he’s glad to see me on this fine morning.

Kyouka gives me a side-eye but asks no questions.

Atsushi asks me if I’m alright, afraid that something dreadful has happened.

Ranpo’s gaze flickers from me to Kunikida, raising an eyebrow. I give him the smallest of nods. He bursts out laughing. 

Yosano offers to heal me if I’ve suddenly developed a brain tumour that’s affecting my behaviour.

Kunikida remains silent, not looking up from his laptop. I won’t look at Kunikida either, give him a taste of his own medicine.

- 

With my fast typing speed I finish my most recent paperwork, the ones pertaining to our case with the local police, before lunch time. It crosses my mind that it isn’t that bad but then I remember the months backlog I have. I don’t groan or make a scene, I give no indication of my emotions.

I start the large pile and get halfway through before I notice the office is oddly silent. I look up and see everyone besides Ranpo standings round Yosano’s desk whispering. They’re looking right at me and when they see me looking they all stop.

I go back to my work, ignoring them like Kunikida has been ignoring me.

I hear Atsushi ask, “Did Kunikida-san do something to him?” and Yosano replied, “Don’t worry, Atsushi, he’ll be back to normal by tomorrow.”

-

The day passes quickly, differently from usual where everything is a blur. I know exactly what happened but I still have trouble remembering everything because it feels like I sat at my desk and stared at my laptop all day doing one thing, write, type, file, repeat (I did.)

I still have some forms to fill out but if I work at the same rate I’ll get them done by the end of the day tomorrow. But I can hardly think of tomorrow when today’s been a complete flop. Kunikida didn’t react at all.

But he gave me that look, the suspicion. Like the only reason I’d ever do my work was if I had ulterior motives, the fact that it’s true cuts me inside. And then that pure weariness.

It’s clear to me now that Kunikida isn’t mad at me, he's just lost patience and run out of willpower to deal with me. And he shouldn’t have to deal with me, I’m a full grown adult I can be normal. I’m sure I can. 

When you think about it Kunikida’s ideals are only asking for a regular polite pretty woman who isn’t a crazy motherfucking bitch (like me). I will remake myself to fit his ideals and become a better person in the process. It may not work but it’s my only and last chance for him to want me.

IDEALS [kunikidazai]

(A/N: I've been palying around with ship names for these two and came up with Ideal Human because together these two make one perfectly functioning person. Kind of like how Tachizaki is Midwinter Snow because if their abilities)

SUMMARY:

Dazai Osamu is the farthest possible thing from the ideal woman Kunikida Doppo has written so much about in his notebook.

And yet . . . Kunikida is hoplessly in love with him anyway. Kunikida doesn't belive he has a chance with his coworker, I mean, have you seen the way he flirts with women? Straight as the rulers Kunikida used to use in his maths class.

Dazai meanwhile is also inlove with uptight but still charming coworker. But how can Dazai ever come close to the woman Kunikida has in mind?

Will these two damn idiots figure their shit out or not? God, I hope they do, for all our sanity!

(Summary sponsered by Edogawa Ranpo)

Categories: angst, fluff, getting together

Warnings: N/A

Thank you to @wildroseroguefor inspiring me to write Kunikidazai for the first time. Rose has lots of Kunikida content on her blog, check it out.

[onelocket]

✎ 𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒐𝒍 / bsd smau

Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader

chapter 1, act iv. - what a misfortune,

SYNOPSIS -- right after that sudden rescript ranpo gave you, something… unpleasant happens. (long written part ahead)

highly suggested to click here for summary of this smau first

chuuya’s pov (left to right)

You weren’t sure of what happened either.

As seconds of Ranpo’s sudden declaration of you being some sort of.. masterpiece, lay on the ears of others, so did their eyes on you. It formed tension and fear down your mind and throat, and it doesn’t help that Sigma was being quiet right now too.

Yet only confluences of the most mischievous would even guess what happened next as you hear a harsh sound scratch the floor.

Your head turns immediately to the source, your eyes widening as they deceive it.

The bookshelf beside you and Sigma. It didn’t seem to filled of books - if anything, it could be the least packed shelf out of what you’ve currently seen in this library.

However, the way it was seemingly getting a little… too close from you the longer you dare to stare, as if it was falling… did somebody push it? It was impossible to think you were just imaging things.

You try to get Sigma’s attention by squeezing his hand, yet even he seemed too intimidated by the stare Ranpo gave. What - was Ranpo not seeing the falling bookshelf?

But before you even get time to get you and Sigma off of your spot, the scenario falls victory between you and him.

…All you can be certain of right now is how it felt.

Painful. Really fucking painful.

"What a shame, your injures look as if you just tripped for being clumsy." Yosano, who was tending your more… harsh scratches, hummed out, in that voice so graceful yet also held some tone of jest as if trying to joke her words.

But, not only has Atsushi mentioned it to you; you’ve heard about Yosano a lot of times, aware she seemed to… think oddly at the sight of pain from others,

"So I don’t know if I like that coming from you." Your mind spoke, not wanting to directly insult the undeniably beautiful lady in front of you.

"Who knew our bookshelves were getting old?" Ranpo joined, leaning forward as he sat rather lazily on the chair facing your infirmary bed.

His chest was pressed on the top rail, words coming out lightly muffled as he sucked on a pink lollipop. You turn your eyes away, silent.

The corners of your eyes saw Sigma, foreheads creased into lines as he fights back the noise of discomfort once the nurse tightly wraps his arm with a bandage.

Sigma was in front of you when the incident happened. He was trying to protect you from the two people you were now being a plaything to.

Sigma may have failed, but you can’t stop that banging stab of guilt seeing his current state. His whole arm had to be covered in that ugly bandage wrap, one cheek having a visible scratch.

You thanked the heavens the bookshelf didn’t have much books on it - even if it was strange. Something was surely up.

How on earth did the bookshelf even fall in the first place? And more specifically - why to you and Sigma? Why right on cue after Ranpo’s ‘grand speech’?

And for what you can not just get over - what did he mean by you’re the masterpiece? You just got here, for heavens sake.

You didn’t even want to know what was blowing on twitter right now. Neither did you want to see Atsushi’s concerned texts - more than a hundred percent sure he was already updated on it.

You’ll get to that later, right now though…

"Yeah.. mister president, I can’t wait to hear the replies you’ll give to our school principal later on." Yosano sighed out rather dramatically, finally moving her hands away from your arm as you almost defensively pull it back to your chest.

Yosano seemed to notice but payed no mind, facing back at Ranpo who’s face was all the same; eyes shut, mouth busy with eating that lollipop. He didn’t even seem concerned one bit. Hell - he was only really here because Yosano insisted him. "What? It’s not my fault an object I couldn’t control just suddenly tripped over!"

"Even when it seemingly was on cue?"

"At least show some decency to a new student, you hear?" Yosano scoffed sarcastically, standing up from her seat. "For their first day, you sure got them in trouble. Even with that Sigma boy."

"Don’t call me that." Sigma replied quick.

"Didn’t know you and Sigma were close!" Ranpo hums the mock with a smirk, lifting himself up from the chair with a foot on it. The nurse scolded, "President Ranpo, I told you not to put your foot there every time!" making the said president fake a whine and put the foot down.

All this noise really made you uneasy.

With so many questions in your head - contradicted by a voice that just didn’t want to come out and speak right now… you felt trapped within a school you thought would treat you more differently.

This was a different you didn’t like.

But not even the nurse did anything to stop it.

If only something or somebody could shut them up right now…

"Pardon me," A masculine voice snaps both Yosano and Ranpo’s alternating talk and your head back to reality, eyes immediate to face forward as they move to where the voice originated.

You quickly see a tall figure that walks in those open infirmary doors, his knuckles even giving time to knock on it as he spoke those words. His hair was a long black, his frame and sight was quick to catch you right at that. He -

"Dostoevsky?" The nurse replied, head turning over to him.

was.. "Dostoevsky, huh?"

Albeit you didn’t see, you heard Sigma’s bed give a ruffling noise, as well as a faint gasp your ears failed to further care of. Was he just surprised as you were?

Even so, you were sure your and his reasons were drastically different as your eyes never leave the new sight.

"Good morning." You see Dostoevsky’s lips curve a small smile, yet your view was being partly blocked by Yosano as she turned around to face him too.

You wanted to tilt, "I’m looking for a newly transferred student named (Name) (Last Name)," but found your body frozen.

You find your shoulders stiffen at the way how his voice called out your full name, the whole infirmary waiting for a continuation as he moved a step closer to the room, eyeing you immediately as if he knew you were there all along.

Wait.

Stop, everything’s going too fast all the sudden…

As if within his instruction, you were barely able see Ranpo gently tugging Yosano’s sleeve, making her step back for you and Dostoevsky to have a full view of one another.

His smile formed mannerly.

Your eyes widen at him, while his focused on you.

"I see your injuries aren’t fatal. Might you be available… privately?"

a/n, i’m sorry for my long inactivity.. being one of the two last acts of ch1, whole list of ch2 is now updated on the main post of this silly smau. :)

previous - act iii. masterpiece

next - act v. blame it on those from above

taglist - @iruc @rabioa @stuffeddeer @nijirosz ♡ ～('▽^人)

[chibitts]

It was Ranpo who had insisted that Fukuzawa get an assistant. As the young detective had said: “After that whole Cannibalism virus scare, Prez needs someone to help ‘em handle all the work that’s piled up!”

And so after careful consideration from each ability user in the agency, you were chosen from the countless busybodies that were already employed under the agency's name. It came as a bit of a shock to you, for you had never actually spoken to Fukuzawa before; sure, he was your boss, but that was merely a formality. The person who’d hired you had been a man by the name of Kunikida, but you’d never interacted with he or any of the other ability users beyond giving them a glance as they made their way from the bottom floor of the agency all the way to the top.

Getting used to working alongside Fukuzawa rather than below him was something that took weeks, perhaps even months for you to do. You were always by his side, though you looked far less intimidating than he did. Your work usually consisted of sifting through the tougher cases that the agency was assigned, and reading through letters and other mail addressed directly to the president. Sometimes, if the work called for it, you and the prez would go out to meet informants to help you along with these cases. You were there, always the helpful one; finishing work that the President had used to do alone before with ease.

Over time you began to see Fukuzawa’s true nature shine through his stoic facade; he was a kindhearted man who showed a particular gentleness towards stray cats and young children. He cared very deeply for those who worked for and with him, and on top of that he seemed extremely opposed to murder. It surprised you for some reason to find that out, since from what you had been allowed to see he seemed so skilled with a blade. Perhaps you had judged him a bit too quickly based on appearance.

It was inevitable really, falling in love with Fukuzawa. He was wise, gentle, and soft towards everyone who he was close with. You couldn’t help the way your heart sped up when he showed that kindness to others. Perhaps one of these days he’d give that warmth to you? Oh how you hoped he would.

(And unbeknownst to you, Fukuzawa had begun to feel much the same. You were a hard worker who took each and every job he entrusted to you in stride; no matter how difficult the work, you got it done with time to spare and didn’t complain at all. Aside from that, you were respectful and borderline familial towards Fukuzawa’s other employees. He didn’t miss the times where you would chat with Kyoka during lunch breaks, or the sweet treats you’d slip to Ranpo during meetings. You weren’t as sneaky as you thought you were, but that was all part of your charm to him.)

It took over a month for you to realize your feelings for Fukuzawa, and after a rather oddly worded pep talk from Dazai you swore that you would confess. You wanted it to be the right time, but somehow it just never was. Most of your days at Fukuzawa’s side consisted of doing your job and having minimal conversation, the quiet peaceful whilst you worked. Today however, it was nothing short of suffocating. You just wanted to say it, to tell him-

“I think I’ve fallen for you, boss!” You blurted out, slapping a hand over your mouth as your face flushed two shades darker than it usually was. Fukuzawa looked over at you from where he was seated at his desk, his eyes glued to you as you forced yourself to stare down at your feet, bowing apologetically. You felt sick to your stomach. Why had you said that so suddenly? The boss couldn’t possibly view you in that way, no. He’d fire you right then and there once he found the words, you could feel it. You felt the tears beginning to sting at your eyes. If you cried in front of the prez, it was all over—

“Ah, how embarrassing.. I’ve been meaning to tell you the same for quite some time already, but it appears as though you’ve beat me to it.”

The air left your lungs in a soft exhale of surprise, eyes shimmery with emotional tears. Fukuzawa stared into your eyes, his expression completely sincere. You inhaled, exhaled, and inhaled again as your brain racked itself for a proper answer to your apparently requited feelings before finally settling on what you thought was an adequate response for the situation.

“What?”

[thecoffeelovingfreak]

If the spot is still open how about physician!reader x general!ranpo? If not then it’s ok :D congrats on over 60!

Hello! This was a really great idea; General!Ranpo is oddly fitting!

~~~

You Have Fought for Long Enough

Pairing: gn!Physician!Reader x General!Ranpo

Writing Genre: oneshot

Genres: medieval times, angst

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: mild depictions of war and violence, brief discussions of blood, death, and injuries, mentions of poison, Untold Origins spoilers, angst involving familial-like relationships

Notes: I leave you with this fic while I spend the day with my mother in the city! I hope you enjoy it! :)

Read it on ao3!

for the Medieval!AU followers event

~~~

Smoke billowed from the burning forest. Soldiers fell left and right as the enemy continued their ambush on his unsuspecting troops.

He had been outsmarted.

For once in his life… the prodigious General Ranpo had been outsmarted.

~

The battle and ambush had left him with major injuries; broken ribs, multiple deep gashes, and a lost right ring finger. Your analytical gaze swept up and down his form for what must have been the thousandth time. The King rushed to his General after hearing about his state, and he now sat along the left side of the bed holding the black-haired man’s hand.

You nodded at him before exiting the bedroom of your practice, now housed inside the castle walls. Serving as the court physician, and therefore tending to royals and high society proved to be a tiring occupation.

“He is awake and seemingly coherent.” the King said. His tone was somber, but he maintained his composure as he stood next to you, robes settling while he waited for your action.

"Thank you for informing me, Your Majesty. Please go rest now; I can imagine that this day has been emotionally stressful for you." you replied, giving him a calm and pitiful smile as you entered the bedroom once more. 

Emerald eyes lazily followed your form as you brought a linen cloth and a bowl filled with water to his bedside. His eyes shut as your fingertips ghosted across his forehead, bringing his dark stray hairs back to his scalp. You dipped the cloth into the bowl before wringing it out and placing it delicately on his sweat-covered forehead. His shivers intensified as the cold met with the heat of his body.

Pieces of the poisoned arrows sat on the table to your right; the King had aided in distracting the General while you removed it. His whimpers and screams still echoed in your ears. The attackers had done their best to ensure the man before you would be dead, but the antidote you had created seemed to be guiding him back to the mortal world.

—

The sky beyond the window appeared to be that of the coming sunset. His body burned and ached, his stomach roiled and his throat was in a drought. He felt a soft tapping underneath his chin, prompting him to open his mouth and welcome the stream of water. His eyes cast you a look of desperation, and he resembled so many Generals before him; those fighters, however, did not have as fortunate a fate.

“You will live, Sir. Your recovery will be extensive… but you will live.”

A small sigh left his lips as his gaze floated across the room to your desk. They shut a moment later as he once again slipped into sleep.

—

The General was very irritable during his recovery. Sighs, glares, and his frustrated tone caused you to feel sympathy in place of anger. Although you had given him an antidote for the poison, he still struggled with mobility and harbouring an appetite.

Guiding his figure back into the bed, you picked a book off the table and sat in the chair you had kept along the bedside. Flipping to the marked chapter and paragraph, you began softly reading.

“I treated the same boy to zenzai. Or rather, red bean paste as he did not touch the mochi. I asked him why he was leaving the mochi, to which he replied that it was not sweet. This perplexed me, but I left the matter alone.

After a few moments of silence, I asked him where he gained this extensive knowledge and physical prowess he presented. He responded that his mother was a scientific genius, who worked with the watchmen, and that his father was an excellent soldier who taught him to fight from a young age.

As he continued describing his parents to me, I recalled working with them throughout my youth. Unfortunately,  according to their son, they died in an accident.

The boy continued speaking upon my query, and told me of his distaste for adult society. He told me how he was treated like a nuisance, and how it seemed that he made people uncomfortable although he was just trying to help and ease his own worries.

I felt a need to tell him that there is plenty of good in the world, but it was not my place to speak of such things.

It was not my place either, to tell this boy just how special he is. I could never impose on another again.

I rose to leave after bidding the boy a personal farewell, but he grabbed my hand to stop me.

'That's all?' he asked, 'Mister, you don't… uh… have anything else for me? I lost my parents, I've lost my jobs, I am a fourteen year old boy with nowhere to go.'

'I see you had no problem making your way through nine bowls of zenzai.' I responded.

'No, I mean, help me out! Do you not yearn to aid someone in need? Where is your spirit of altru… altra…'

'Altruism.' I said, stepping back for the boy to stand up. 'You are right, boy. You said you were fourteen, correct?'

He nodded as he rose in front of me.

'Well, since I am to take the throne soon, I can make you a squire a year before the rest.'

A large smile bloomed across his face as he trailed behind me out of the establishment. I truly had gone soft.

He naturally excelled in the training, and after my ascension and his knighting, I appointed him as my General. He continues to impress me every day, and in every battle. I am truly honoured to have him as my son and heir…"

You looked up from the book at the General. Lines of tears ran down his face, and a small pout sat on his lips.

"Why do you cry, Sir?"

He sniffled, "Have you not pieced it together, dear physician? I am the boy in that story."

A momentary shock took over your features as you returned the black leather-bound book to the table.

"Does your passion remain with war, dear General?"

"This ambush has shaken me. I have never been bested before… and I feel as if I leave this profession I will be quitting. I do not particularly enjoy that feeling."

You hummed, "Do not do that to yourself, Sir. You have proven yourself to be the greatest; there is no shame in choosing to enter another chapter of your life."

You clasped his left hand in yours, prompting him to look into your eyes. "The King will understand. You will not be disappointing him by being honest."

He sighed thankfully and softly squeezed your hand.

~~~

? - do you know what book you were reading to Ranpo?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

taglist: @stories-from-saint-petersburg @kunikinnie @goddessofself @nakaharaswife @chuuyasboots @livingforteaandorange

If you enjoyed this fic, why don't you join my taglist!

[universallychaoticpan]

Sir, that’s a cat?

Osamu Dazai x fem! reader 

Atushi looked around the well lit room of the so called Armed Detective Agency, from a spot next to a window, enjoying the breeze and still processing the fact that these ordinary looking individuals were some of the most powerful people in Yokohama. Dazai and Kunikida he recognized, the tall, blonde man tiredly lecturing the brunette as he lounged on a couch a ways away. When he’d arrived a few days before, he’d been introduced Ranpo, now busily filling paperwork while simultaneously munching on sweets, Yosano, who stood in a corner silently sipping her coffee as she observed the oddly tame environment, and Kenji, who was at the moment out on assignment with Junichiro. 

Atsushi would’ve said he was adjusting well, except he’d been raised to never lie if he could help it. And the truth was he was confused, terrified, and still wondering if the whole experience had been a vivid dream. Part of him hoped he’d wake up and find himself still on the run from that damn tiger. Hell, he’d even settle to be back at the orphanage. 

A flash of movement caught his eyes suddenly, a blur of motion at the corner of his vision. Turning, he saw a black cat staring him down intensely from it’s spot on the open window’s sill, it’s eyes seemingly glowing as he stared back. It tilted it’s head curiously in his direction, tail swaying back and forth behind it as it opened it’s mouth to let out a soft mew. At least cats were still the same here. 

The cat jumped down from it’s perch and moved toward him slowly, it’s movements relaxed and lazy. As it approached him, he didn’t realize he was holding his breath until it began to wind it’s way around his legs, back and forth while purrs rumbled through it’s small body. Encouraged, Atsushi bent down and began softly stroking the spot between the cat’s velvety ears, the purrs intensifying as he did. He wondered why it was here, and who it belonged to, since it looked too well fed to be a stray. And besides, no one else seemed to really care it was there, so he had to assume it was because everyone else was already familiar with it. 

He decided to ask Dazai, wincing as he straightened from his uncomfortable crouching position. Striding across the room, he almost tripped over his own feet as the cat quickly darted between his legs with a yowl, dashing over to where Dazai was still lounging contentedly on the sofa and launching itself up onto his body. The man let out a noise of surprise, then of joy as he brought the cat gently to his chest. The feline nuzzled into his warmth as he cooed to it, solving the mystery as to who the cat’s owner was. Annoyed by the sudden disruption of the quiet, Kunikida approached, eyes narrowed, fully prepared to lecture his partner once again. That was until he caught sight of the cat that had now situated itself on top of the other man. 

“Wonderful. She’s back. I’ll need her to brief us on what she’s learned as soon as she can, but I’ll need to finish up the paperwork for this case first.” The blonde rubbed the space between his eyes tiredly, as Dazai’s smile grew even wider.

“Meaning I have more time with my lovely belladonna! Take all the time you need, please, then take a little longer if you would.”

Confused, Atsushi watched Kunikida walk away muttering to himself, before turning back to Dazai and the cat who was now batting her paws at his nose. 

“So she is your cat then?” 

Dazai blinked, before realizing who he was referring to.

“Nope! This little thing here is my lovely girlfriend!” 

If Atsushi had been hoping for his question being answered to solve his confusion, he was incredibly disappointed. Dazai, meanwhile, went back to cuddling the soft bundle of fur, paying no mind to the white haired boy beside him, as if he hadn’t just called the random cat who’d shown up at the agency his girlfriend.

“Sir, I’m sorry but that’s a cat?” 

Dazai only giggled, while the cat suddenly left her spot, apparently fed up with his antics. As she walked away, he started yelling after her, sparking a strange little argument as she went.

“WhAaaaaAt. I was only playing with him a bit, love. 

“Meow”

Fair point, but you went along with it, so you can’t really say anything.”

The cat didn’t answer, settling for shooting Dazai a glare before turning the corner. 

A startling flash of violet light, followed by a clatter kept Atsuhi’s eyes on the doorway she’d vanished through, jaw dropping completely as, in place of the cat, a woman stepped out in it’s place. There was no mistaking it, though. Her eyes were the same, her gait just as relaxed, but holding just as much power, as if she’d be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. She looked weary, dark circles under her eyes, as if she hadn’t slept in days, but as Dazai looked at her, Atsushi was convinced he was looking at the most beautiful woman in the world. 

He was more than a little embarrassed he hadn’t connected the dots sooner, and his superior laughed kindly as he saw the realization dawn on the boy. 

“Yes, her ability allows her to become a cat, not unlike how yours allows you to become a powerful tiger. She’s our top intelligence agent here, and goes weeks without contact while she keeps an eye on the Port Mafia’s movements. She’s just returned from one scouting job, and just in time to meet you!” 

The woman laughed, turning to Atsushi and smiling gently. 

“Sorry for this idiot, he finds it funny to introduce my as his girlfriend while I’m shifted. Lovely to meet you, Atsushi. I’m y/n l/n.” 

/////////

First post so I’m more than a little nervous, but I hope you enjoyed this little work. I guess I’m just doing this for fun, so if you enjoyed this, feel free to send me ideas/requests. I’m more than happy to try my hand for whatever characters you’d like in the fandoms listed on my account. Much love if you made it this far, likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome. <3

[nakachuchu]

Hand-warmer | Edogawa Ranpo

SYNOPSIS: He likes your breasts.

READER: female

WORDS: 526

WRITTEN: 03/03/2021

NOTES: Thank you for requesting!

You sat on Ranpo's lap at his desk. You were typing on your laptop for work and his hands were groping your breasts, gently squeezing them like a stress toy.

You were completely used to it and so was he. It became second nature to the two of you. If his hands weren't around your breasts, then you felt odd and uncomfortable while he felt weird and bored.

He liked doing something with his hands, and if he wasn't eating or snacking on something, then he would be fondling your breasts.

He preferred that over holding hands but understood that society would look at him oddly if he held your breasts in the middle of a busy street. Plus, it was hard to walk if he held onto them.

However, there was a dilemma. He only had two hands. That wasn't enough for him. He wanted to be able to snack on chips and fondle both of your breasts at the same time.

Every day was a struggle for him. He was the smartest man in the world, but he was not getting out of this problem.

He always debated on when to pull his hands away from your breasts to open a bag of chips and snack of that.

He hated the feeling of his warm hands turning cold when he moved them away from you. That was why he tried to keep the window near him closed. He didn't like the cool breeze that came by.

You stretched your body, pulling your arms above your head to stretch them. Your breasts perked up because of that and Ranpo made sure to hold onto them.

You were his personal hand-warmer, after all. The bottom line was that he would never want anything to happen to you, but if someone asked, he would simply say that it was because he liked how warm you were.

"Tired?" he asked.

He didn't have to ask because he knew you were tired. You always got tired before lunch, then sleep after lunch.

You nodded and slouched a bit to resume your work, glancing down to make sure his hands were still around your breasts.

Similarly, you liked it when his hands were wrapped around your breasts. He warmed them up for you and offered more support than a bra.

The two of you worked well together. You mainly did the paperwork and documenting for the Agency, but Ranpo rarely went out into the field so he was able to spend time with you at the office.

Whenever you got sleepy after lunch, you would take a nap on one of the couches in the Agency.

Ranpo would disregard his work and come nap with you, placing his head onto your breasts to use as a soft pillow.

Yukuzawa would sometimes come into the main office to check in on everyone and instead find you two asleep on the couch.

If there wasn't an urgent matter, then he would look at the two of you and sigh before leaving you two alone.

"Let's go out for lunch," you suggested as you closed your laptop.

He squeezed your breasts. "Sounds good."

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Pairings: None

Word Count: 4,120 Words

Summary: Atsushi finds a small friend in the store. Chaos ensues as usual.

Warnings: Age Regression, Food Mention, Cursing, Past Injury Mention, Fighting Mention, Immunocompromised Character, Xenophobia Mention, Overworking Mention, Fainting Mention, let me know if I should tag anything else.

Translations: Ofitsiant?: Server?; Ni, yo tse vzhe znav.: No, I knew it already.; Brechun.: Liar.; Comment vont les chatons?: How are the kittens?; Ils font du bien. Irina a essayé de se battre à nouveau contre mes cheveux.: They're doing good. Irina tried to fight my hair again.; Ce chat vous teste, il suffit de lui aspergé d’eau.: That cat is testing you, just spray her with water.; Et tirer sur mon bébé ? Je ne pourrais jamais!: And shoot my baby? I could never!

BSD Little Oneshots: Chapter 5: Little!Nikolai x Caregivers! Atsushi & Sigma

Atsushi liked to think he did the Agency's shopping well, he was the most effective at least. The quickest was Kunikida, though he messed up frequently. Dazai was the most incorrect, not shocking.

Ranpo was the slowest, Yosano forgot things, Kyouka only remembered her things, Jun'ichiro usually didn't have time, and Kenji was no longer allowed after purchasing only beef once. Their three new members, Sigma, Poe, and Mushitaro, weren't given the opportunity yet to do the shopping.

But, however, finding a familiar person's smell in the market wasn't a new experience for Atsushi. He'd found all sorts of friends and foes in markets before. He'd run into Poe getting fruit for Karl, Chuuya doing his shopping, even Mushitaro once back when he worked for Fyodor.

But this smell, it smelled like popcorn and peppermint. It was weirdly unique and he'd only ever smelled that odd combination once, during the Decay of the Angels incident, made by one Nikolai Gogol. A certain someone who had been avoiding the police for a year now.

He wanted to check, it could be false, his nose wasn't always correct when he wasn't actively looking for someone. Once he'd even followed Sigma's normal smell of cinnamon and ginger to find it was just Dazai's who had been near Sigma earlier in the day and Dazai, that asshole, his scent was hard to pick up, even when he was actively trying.

So he made a sharp turn into the the frozen aisle and saw him looking over the freezers like they'd offended him. He was quite inconspicuous, for Gogol at least. White hair down but kinked like he'd had it up for a while.

He was hidden away inside a jacket, face obscured by a space-themed mask. He supposed it being Winter, he was also hiding from the cold as well as the police. He saw that he was obviously very tired as he got closer, dark marks under his eyes.

"Gogol." He addressed, getting big eyes to look up at him as he grabbed Ranpo's frozen waffles from the freezer next to where Gogol was standing. Now that he was closer, he could also see that it had been ice cream the clown had been looking at before. "Are you stealing that?" Atsushi asked quietly, getting Yosano's fudge bars into the cart.

"No, I..." He sounded oddly quiet, he supposed hiding from police would make one change their voice. "I can't find it." He looked at him and to the ice cream.

"Find what?" Atsushi asked. He'd decided long ago that markets were peace treaty areas, he wouldn't fight someone in a store. Even if that someone was currently evading police, had stabbed him, planted his leg in the ground like a tree, tore the agency apart, and helped start a worldwide vampirism pandemic.

"Peppermint." Gogol sounded odd still but he spotted said ice cream and directed him to it by the arm. He practically lit up and, with the way his eyes held that same look, Atsushi realized he was regressing much like some of the other kids at he orphanage would.

"Hey, come on. Do you need anything else?" He was abiding his 'no market fights' rule but he also was worried. It smelled like Gogol was alone. Who let someone regressed go out alone without supervision? Gogol tried to take his arm away, trying to shake him off.

"No, you'll arrest me." He looked scared. That was the opposite of the effect he wanted.

"No, I don't arrest people when I'm shopping. I have a rule against detaining people in markets." He assured him and Gogol silently stuck by his side, eventually holding onto his arm with desperate hands as he helped him get the rest of the things on his list.

Whilst they were shopping, Gogol had told him of how he'd just got off from working a fourteen hour shift, he could see his shaking, actually, one he mentioned his shift. It had sent him into high alert because what bullshit was that? Fourteen hours without a break to where your employee was so stressed that they regressed in the middle of a frozen aisle.

"And then I'm done. Thank you, Gogol." He smiled at him, getting a giggle in response that let him know he'd made him smile. Nikolai certainly warmed up to him quickly, he was almost cute. "Do you need to grab anything else? I can bring you home." He offered.

"Dinner. I need dinner." Atsushi realized it was nearly eleven at night. Could Nikolai even cook if he was as small as he seemed?

"What do you need for it?" He asked.

"Want." Nikolai grabbed a pre-made bento with assorted sandwiches from the deli and Atsushi led him up to the counter to pay. "I can pay." Nikolai tried to hand him money.

"Keep it. My treat for helping, the list would have taken me hours. It only took about twenty minutes." Atsushi assured him.

"Thank you." Nikolai still seemed so shy, even for a child. Once they were outside, they moved Nikolai's items into one bag while Atsushi held his own.

"We're out of the market." Nikolai reminded him softly, showing him his hands, trembling wrists held together. He expected Atsushi to arrest him now?

"I've gotta get you home still. You need to eat and I need to get these groceries to the agency after I get you home." Atsushi reminded him.

"I'm not bad? Because I'm little?" Nikolai asked.

"No, you're not in a state where arresting you would be right. And I'm in no state to get you to the Agency even if I did arrest you." Atsushi told him.

"I can go?" The clown asked softly, almost disbelieving he would hold to this. He'd done the same for Chuuya once, after a guy followed him around the store. He smiled kindly at him and Nikolai seemed like he was smiling back under his mask as he nodded.

"What's with the mask, by the way? It know it's winter but there isn't any flu yet." Atsushi asked.

"I can't leave the house without it, my immune system doesn't work, I'd get sick." Nikolai was walking with him, letting Atsushi take him home.

"You're immunocompromised?" He asked.

"Yeah, I get sick a lot. I've been sick twice the last three weeks."

"Why?"

"Because my boss doesn't let us wear masks at work. He says they're unsightly." Nikolai admitted.

"Sounds mean to me. You should be able to wear it if it helps you." Atsushi felt slightly angry at that. someone was practically forcing their staff to get sick to appease themselves only? It boiled his blood.

"He is mean. Mister Aoki doesn't like me."

"What? Why?"

"Well, Mister Aoki bought the restaurant I work for almost four months ago and, when he did, the old owner made him sign a contract saying he wouldn't fire anyone the old owner hired for a full calendar year. I'm one of the only five people left that Miss Minami hired, I've been there for eleven and a half months now. Everyone else quit when he began upping our hours and took away our breaks." Atsushi looked over the way Nikolai looked tense. He didn't like it.

"He's convinced HR that I'm lying and I'm just looking for payout because of Miss Minami's contract. The contract said charges would be pressed on behalf of any employee that got fired and the money from the lawsuit awarded to the employee. That's what happened with Annette when he told her to leave last month, at least. Miss Minami did her best to make sure her staff was taken care of when she retired." He looked a little happier, he guessed, less tense thinking about his old boss.

"He doesn't like foreigners but Miss Minami liked having people who could speak to her patrons in whatever language the customer spoke if they were visiting Japan. We used to have these mini-sections based on who could speak what, so we could make sure anyone travelling could speak whatever they were comfortable with." Atsushi would have liked to visit this place back when Miss Minami was running it from how it sounded. The woman sounded like a saint.

"Can't you contact corporate or anything?" He asked.

"I wish. I'd have to be on the phone for hours and I've been working every day for fourteen hours a day for months now. He made sure none of us had a way to contact corporate unless we stayed up all night and came in again the next day. Because he'd give us a write-up if we called out without a doctor's note, which nobody would have time to get."

"But I get more money out of him overworking me, so, at least, I can save up money for now so I have something when he fires me eventually." He sounded resigned to it, actually, like he was used to being overworked. Atsushi could only imagine the hell Fyodor found this guy in.

"He sounds like he shouldn't own that place if he won't run it correctly." Atsushi assured him.

"I'll probably need to quit soon if it keeps up, I can't handle it much more." For regressed, Nikolai knew how to talk very well. Maybe he was fluctuating since he was with someone? He'd only be able to assume but it was likely Gogol never regressed around others before.

"Where do you work?" He asked.

"Minami Café. Four blocks from my apartment. Some of your Port Mafia friends come through sometimes. That dark one? Your partner, I think? Dazai's boyfriend, Chuuya, comes in a lot too, he likes sitting in my section so I'll speak French with him." Nikolai remarked.

"I think I've been there, almost a year ago I think, with Sigma too. My server was Catalina."

"Catalina quit three months ago. I was probably off the day you came in, Catalina used to be my opposite when Miss Minami was there. If I was off, she was working. We shared a section."

"Ah, Atsushi! There you are! Hi, Atsushi's friend! Kunikida sent me to tell you we forgot to put milk on the list!" Dazai reminded him.

"I know, I got it anyway." He showed him the bags.

"And who's your friend? All bundled up and oh, what a cute space mask!" Dazai poked Gogol's mask, making him buzz back to get the finger away from him. "You look so familiar but I can't put my finger on it." Dazai hummed.

Nikolai had stopped moving. Atsushi was sure he stopped breathing, he was scared. He understood it, he was regressed and hungry and stressed. He was overwhelmed with the amount of interaction, he just wanted to get home. Atsushi, of all people, understood that.

"Hmm. It's not cute enough to hide you, Gogol." Dazai's tone went dark and a pair of cuffs were suddenly on Nikolai's wrists.

"Hey!" He protested, trying to get Nikolai away but Dazai was dragging Nikolai to the Agency.

"You get to explain to Fukuzawa why you pinned the Agency for the Decay of the Angels incident. I want it from your mouth, clown." Dazai roughly moved him, Atsushi was following them, growling at Dazai to stop it, that he was just walking him home and they could talk to him later.

But Dazai, instead, dragged him into the Agency and tossed him into Fukuzawa's office, landing on his hands, shaking still. Atsushi had handed the bags to put away to Jun'ichiro on he way to follow Dazai.

"Dazai!" Atsushi roared now that they were behind closed doors, away from the prying eyes of the public. Gogol looked ready to cry and Atsushi wouldn't blame him if he did.

"Tell him." Dazai demanded. Nikolai looked up at the president, who had stood from his chair to look at him on the floor. He looked at Dazai.

"I wanna go home!" Nikolai bit out.

"Dazai, why did you bring me a fake Gogol?" Fukuzawa asked, sitting back down.

"It's the real one. Look at his eyes." Dazai requested.

"Hm. Yellow and white. The same mark on the left one too. I suppose you're correct. Take him to the holding cell down the hall until we can get confirmation and then we'll contact Ango."

Atsushi wasn't fast enough to grab Nikolai to protect him so Dazai grabbed him by the handcuffs and dragged him off to the holding cell, taking the bag off the Ukrainian's arm before locking him in the ability-blocking bars. It wasn't but a few seconds later that Nikolai collapsed, shaking and breathing seeming hard.

"Open it!" Atsushi snapped at Dazai.

"He's faking, Atsushi. He's a criminal." Dazai reasoned. Atsushi yanked the key from his hand anyway, unlocking the door and taking Nikolai from the cell. He was clammy and clung to him, beginning to cry now that he felt safe again.

"It's okay, I'm sorry." No doubt he'd just dropped even more into that vulnerable headspace and he wasn't well now.

"Dazai? Did you get Atsushi?" Sigma came in asking. "Nikolai?" Sigma asked.

"Atsushi, why are you helping him? He could escape!" Dazai snapped.

"Shut up, Dazai!" Atsushi growled.

"Atsushi, why is he here?" Sigma asked.

"He's regressed, he's not in the right mental space to handle being an adult. I was taking him home so he could eat because he probably hasn't eaten since breakfast and Dazai arrested him." He calmly explained.

"Niko." Sigma crouched with them. Nikolai looked up at him with teary eyes. "There you are, huh, Kolya?" Sigma smiled for him.

"Sima." Nikolai sniffled and hugged tight to Atsushi.

"How old are you?" Sigma asked.

"'M two now. Was six." Nikolai whispered, confirming that he'd dropped more when Dazai arrested him.

"It's okay to be small, Kolya. Me and Atsushi are here, you're safe now." Sigma's soft, gentle voice seemed to calm him, Atsushi was grateful.

"What, are we going to let him go too?" Dazai snapped.

"I need to speak with you. In fact, I'm calling an Agency meeting." Atsushi handed Nikolai off to Sigma, who took the clown with little hesitance.

"Hello, baby bird." Sigma greeted him, hugging him close. "Let's eat, huh, your belly sounds hungry." Sigma offered him.

"Okay, Sima." Nikolai happily smiled, letting Sigma take care of him as Atsushi dragged Dazai out of the room and into Fukuzawa's office.

"I'm calling an Agency meeting. We need to talk about Gogol's arrest before we decide anything." Atsushi requested.

"Alright." So Fukuzawa rounded the other Agency members up and off to the meeting room they went. "Alright, Atsushi, what did we need to talk about?" Fukuzawa gave him the floor to speak.

"Dazai brought in Nikolai Gogol today, Sigma is with him, that's why he's not here." The room went quiet.

They'd been looking for Nikolai for a year, he remembered, since the Agency had been reestablished a year ago, four months after defeating Fukuchi and a month after Dazai was released from Meursault on dropped charges. He was reminded that Sigma, Poe, and Mushitaro had been hired on three months after their reestablishment.

"Yes, you were with him, Atsushi." All eyes buzzed between Dazai and Atsushi.

"I was doing the shopping, as you can tell, the fridge is full again and someone had to do it. I found him in the store but you know my rule about causing fights in markets, they're a neutral ground." He reminded everyone.

"Gogol has been here, in Yokohama, for the last eleven and a half months working at a café. he hasn't done anything wrong and certainly, we'd have heard if he did. I was walking him home, I had full control of the situation and I'd know both where he works and where he lives by now if Dazai hadn't interrupted." He reminded the brunette, who huffed.

"Why did you interact in the first place?" Kunikida asked.

"At first, I had found him by scent. I wanted to confirm, I wasn't planning to interact. But he's regressed, he needed help and I couldn't let him walk home alone regressed. Regression is a coping method, some of the other kids at the orphanage did it, it's to help with stress and stuff. You aren't in an adult mindset, you're in a child's mindset. Gogol said he was six before, when I was taking him home. He's now two, he dropped more due to the introduction of more stress." He explained.

"So Dazai effectively arrested a six year old?" Ranpo asked.

"Yes." Atsushi confirmed.

"You two were talking beforehand, what were you talking about?" Dazai asked.

"His job." Atsushi looked at him. "He was talking about how his new boss is xenophobic and overworks him. We started talking because I asked why he was wearing a mask, he's immunocompromised and he's been getting sick a lot lately because his boss doesn't allow him to wear his mask at work."

"That's discrimination!" Kenji whined.

"Yeah, well, I didn't say his new boss was a good one." Atsushi reminded them.

"So what? We let him continue?" Dazai asked.

"I suggest we keep tabs on him instead of arresting him. It would build trust with him should we need a strong ability like his to aid us at any point, while still allowing us to make sure he isn't a threat anymore." Atsushi suggested.

"It does make sense. If he were in a prison, he could easily break out with that ability. Plus the ability is very powerful and useful if we had access to use it." Ranpo announced happily. "I agree with Atsushi's plan!"

"It would be helpful." Kenji agreed.

"Keeping an eye on him would be quite useful, he sounds like he's assimilated back to standard society again from how it sounds." Kunikida shockingly agreed. He expected he'd have to sway both Kunikida and Dazai.

"Alright, if Kunikida trusts this, then I'm for it." Jun'ichiro agreed.

"I agree with Ranpo. He could easily get out of a prison, keeping him monitored and in a controlled environment is a much better solution." Kyouka agreed.

"It sounds like it could be a good idea." Yosano agreed.

"I agree." Mushitaro told them.

"It couldn't hurt to see first before arresting him." Poe agreed.

"I don't like this, but I agree we should monitor him first." Dazai pouted, like he usually did when he was outvoted.

"Alright, so it's agreed, we'll have tabs on Gogol for now instead of arresting him. If he goes out of line, we can arrest him if we need." Fukuzawa announced.

"Hey, guys, Nikolai says he needs to go home and feed his cats." Sigma poked his head into the meeting room.

"He's free to leave now. Dazai, get him out of those cuffs." Fukuzawa told him.

"Niko, honey, here." Sigma held Nikolai, who looked much less pale and shaky now, Sigma must have made sure he ate, and guided his hands out toward Dazai, who unhooked the cuffs.

"Now, let's go home? Huh? Go feed the cats? Get some sleep?" Sigma asked, Atsushi smiled at them both.

"Okay!" Nikolai squeaked out, latching onto Sigma's arm and letting the other lead him, Atsushi following them to Nikolai's apartment so he could help Sigma take care of him. They were greeted to six little kittens awaiting their owner, who sat with them on the floor, distracting them enough to get said kittens food as per Nikolai's instruction.

"Here, kitties." Sigma called the kittens away to eat.

"Annette's cat had kittens and nobody else wanted them since her cat used to be a stray. There's Irina, Viktoria, Zoya, Sichi, Anastasia, and Vladimir." Nikolai smiled showing off his kittens, who seemed to have little to no reaction to him showing them off.

"Well, you trained them pretty well already." Sigma smiled.

"Sichi is named after you. Sigma, Sig, Sichi. I call her baby bird, like I used to call you. And Sticky, because she needs baths a lot because she likes getting into trouble." 

"Well, it looks like you're the baby bird now." Nikolai smiled at him, giggling, as Sigma poked his nose.

"I'm six, birdie!" Nikolai whined.

"Still a baby bird." Sigma told him. "And baby birds should get some sleep. What time is your work tomorrow?"

"Job starts at 8:30. The alarms are set for 7 in the morning so I can shower and get ready." Nikolai told them, letting Sigma pick him up and giggling as he poked at Sigma's arms. "Birdie's strong."

"Always have been. You just never asked to be picked up before." Sigma reminded him, carting him off to bed, helping him get comfortable and Nikolai was out before either of his two companions knew what was happening.

Sigma ended up being the one to stay the night and Atsushi went home to sleep. The next day, showing up to Minami Café with Poe and requesting to be sat in Nikolai's section was fun. Nikolai lit up seeing him and smiled at Poe.

"Any specific way to make your coffee?" He asked Poe once the other had requested coffee.

"Surprise me." Atsushi laughed, Ranpo's influence was rubbing off on poor Poe again.

"So make it how I like it, got it. Four creamers, three pumps of marshmallow syrup, four chocolate espresso shots, with nutmeg. Tastes like hyper Christmas." Nikolai's smile was cute, Atsushi liked seeing it, especially when it wasn't forced.

"And just sprite for me." He told him.

"I know you two are watching me." Nikolai let them know, smile not faltering in the least bit, he appeared friendly still even in his body language. "I don't plan to do anything, but don't get me in trouble, I'd rather not lose money getting pulled into a two hour long lecture again."

"Ofitsiant?"

"Learning Ukrainian for me, eh, Chuuya?"

"Ni, yo tse vzhe znav." 

"Brechun." Nikolai laughed. "I'll be back with your drinks." He went to see what Chuuya wanted.

"Comment vont les chatons?" 

"Ils font du bien. Irina a essayé de se battre à nouveau contre mes cheveux."

"Ce chat vous teste, il suffit de lui aspergé d’eau." Nikolai put his hand over his heart.

"Et tirer sur mon bébé? Je ne pourrais jamais!" He feigned mock offense, making Chuuya laugh a bit.

"I want to take home the most annoying, toddler-looking meal you can manage. Akutagawa's asking me to bring him food when I come into work today and I plan to bother him while helping him." Chuuya asked the Ukrainian.

"No problem. That would probably be the cheese and garlic soup, mashed potatoes, and the flower and star cut steamed vegetables from the kids menu." Nikolai seemed to take a glee from assisting Chuuya in his torment of poor Akutagawa.

"That sounds perfect, Nikolai, thank you." Atsushi held back a laugh at thinking about Akutagawa eating food meant for a baby. Poe was laughing quietly.

"Nikolai, we'll take the same thing Chuuya asked for back to Dazai after we're done." Nikolai held back his own laugh now, as did Chuuya.

"Getting your toddler to eat is difficult." Chuuya teased. The banter between their two tables continued for all of lunch and both of them getting their to-go orders at the end and Nikolai waved them off before they left.

Eight months later, Nikolai's contract with Miss Minami was up but Chuuya had bought the restaurant two months prior from one Aoki Kenzou once he learned of the conditions that Nikolai was working in. Atsushi was very grateful, so was Sigma when he found out.

Nikolai and all the other workers got a full paid two weeks off after he took over and Chuuya had Nikolai help him send out letters to the workers who had left due to Aoki, both letting them know the restaurant was under new management and inviting them to take their old positions back, no questions or interview necessary, if they wanted.

Atsushi was surprised that half the old staff came back and Nikolai happily welcomed his friends back as Minami Café went back to how it used to work before Aoki came into the picture. Chuuya was running it well if Nikolai not being so constantly stressed was anything to go by.

Nikolai finally had free time and shifts that weren't fourteen hours long without breaks. With his new free time, Nikolai was finally able to help the Agency part time and he finally seemed happy and actually well-rested and not constantly tired.

Atsushi and Sigma still got to 'babysit' him sometimes, which was always cute, Nikolai showing up usually with a kitten or stuffed animal and coloring books to either the Agency office or one of their apartments.

[kunikiiida-kuuun]

Smile For Me (Kunikida x Reader)

When another melancholic sigh leaves your mouth unknowingly, Kunikida turns off the television and finally turns to you.

"Okay, what's on your mind?"

It takes you a whole minute to register that the TV was now just a blank screen and that Kunikida was looking at you expectantly. "Oh, I'm sorry! It's nothing really..." you bite your lip, trying to push away intruding thoughts.

You finally had Kunikida to yourself after a long week of tiring work and you shouldn't have been letting anything distract you from that. Nothing was better than relaxing with your boyfriend, just watching reruns of your favorite TV show, and cuddling on the couch. Yet, a few stressful thoughts had somehow made way into your head, making you feel uncharacteristically gloomy and broody. It was no surprise that Kunikida was able to tell immediately; he was oddly perceptive about other people's feelings and no detail seemed to escape his notice.

Kunikida takes your hand in his and gives you a resolute look, "Talk to me."

A smile passes over your lips at his concern, "Oh, Kunikida." You turn to face him and cup his face gently, "It's nothing to worry about, I promise."

You struggle a bit with your words, trying to put everything lightly so you don't cause Kunikida to worry. He was a big worrywart as it is and you didn't need him to be worrying over your mundane problems. At the same time, you didn't want to push him away. "It's nothing in particular... just one thought leads to another and...”

You let your hands fall to your lap and avert your gaze to look at the floor, “It’s just some things from past that I should be long over with. Sometimes they just come back to drag you down, you know?"

"I don't know if that makes any sense." You laugh airily but a sad smile lingers on your face.

He gives you an understanding look, but he was troubled that you were feeling that way. He was no stranger to those feelings himself, when on so many days, the ghosts and silhouettes of the past lurked on his mind and refused to leave. When it becomes too painful to continue, where his will to do anything crumbles, the desire to just throw everything away and give up threatens to triumph over his ideals. To cast it away as redundant and meaningless as the world had shown it to be countless number of times. On those days, you had been there for him like a beacon, constantly smiling for him and showing that you would be there for him. And he wanted to do the same.

"Let's go have some beef bowls!"

You frown at Kunikida’s sudden remark, "What- we just ate-" and that's when it strikes you- he was impersonating Kenji.

Toothy grins turn to loud and boisterous laughter as he makes shockingly accurate impressions of all the agency members, Atsushi and Tanizaki's extra nervous retorts, Kenji's cheerful stories of his hometown, Ranpo's carefree and haughty declarations, Yosano's veiled coos as she's healing a patient.

But what takes the stage away is the impressions of his lazy yet reliable partner Dazai, having spent a lot of his time with him on work requests. He imitates his partner's voice perfectly, all his dramatics packed heavily in all the lines.

"There is a man hanging on the tree in my backyard. Is he someone from your office?" he makes an impeccable voice of an old man, all with a straight face.

"Please pay your bills! Your tab has piled up for over nine months now!" he says in a low-pitched feminine voice.

He continues imitating the voices of all people who called in at the agency, with a complaint regarding Dazai's suicide attempts, each more whimsical than the other. You're not sure if those are really the complaints he had to hear or he was exaggerating a little but it's hard to tell since this was about Dazai after all.

Nevertheless, you're clutching your stomach by the end of it, doubling over with unashamed laughter. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed so hard.

You wipe away the tears that had gathered at the corners of your eyes from all the laughter, "What was all that?" You grin cheekily at him, now unable to wipe the smile off your face, all signs of your worry long dissipated.

You scoot closer to him and nudge him playfully on his side, "I didn't know my boyfriend could be such a jokester. Were you trying to cheer me up?"

Kunikida pushes his glasses up his nose and asks stoically as if he hadn't been doing anything out of ordinary, "Did it work?"

You lean forward and place a soft kiss on his cheek. "It did. Thank you, Kunikida."

His facade temporarily breaks as he flushes slightly and clears his throat, raising his notebook to his face, "In case it wasn't enough, my notebook has a list of thirty-eight other things that I can do that could cheer you up."

You raise a brow, smiling mischievously as your fingers toy with the ribbon of his collar, "Oh? That's quite a number. Are you sure there are that many things you can do single-handedly that can cheer me up?

"Is that supposed to be a challenge?" he's narrowing his eyes, lips curled in a slight smirk; you know he’s playing along with you.

"I don't know." You trace circles on the back of his hand, "What do you think, Detective Kunikida?" you smirk back at him coyly.

With a swift motion of his hands, he pulls you over his lap and draws you close. He gives you a long intense look, his green-grey eyes shining behind his glasses and you are inwardly swooning at how gorgeous he looks.

He whispers in a low voice against your ear, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

[straymackerel]

idk if your requests are open but if they’re not then feel free to ignore this. 😅 id like to request an imagine with dazai having a long, deep conversation with his new co-worker who happens to be a former member of the port mafia but she left for obvious reasons and only fukuzawa knows for now but ofc dazai being dazai, he’s sharp af so he decided to talk to her bc one, he understands her and second he developed feelings for her shortly after she joined ada. thanks in advance! 🥰

➽─{done! they were actually closed, but this was such a fun request i made it 2k long (✿´ ꒳ ` )}─❥

You often wonder if it was something you said.

Ever since you joined the Armed Detective Agency, all of your new coworkers have been nothing short of friendly and accommodating. All of them––except for the bandaged mystery who can’t quite take his eyes off of you.

At first you thought it was just your imagination. When he answered your questions dismissively, you thought maybe he didn’t have a way with words. When he bailed on group trips to Café Uzumaki––but only when you were going too––you brushed it off as a coincidence. And when you first ‘caught’ him fixated on you, looking you square in the face from his own desk, you hoped he was actually looking at something above your head or next to you.

After all, in the Port Mafia, you always felt as if you were being watched, precisely because you were being watched. Your every move was silently documented, your behavior acutely observed within a larger culture of distrust and suspicion. You wondered if maybe you carried that instinctive unease with you to your new day job. (The only proper day job you’ve ever held.)

But there was no need for deft maneuvers to realize that this intimidating brunette was, indeed, staring you down in silence. He has no intention of hiding it; he’s openly tracking your movements, peering into your essence. And the most unnerving part of all: he’s smirking half of the time. If you didn’t know any better, you would confront him the first chance you got; but your situation is precarious, delicate. You have no business drawing attention to yourself, a former member of the Port Mafia. Sure, the President is already aware of your circumstances, but the Mafia has engrained the virtues of secrecy into you. You hope to keep your past on the down low.

Besides, there’s something off about this brown-haired detective. Something you realized at the beginning of your employment, way before he started staring into your soul. Something you hope you’re wrong about.

So you wait it out, anxiously. Drained by the presence of your colleagues, you find yourself in Café Uzumaki alone one slow-moving afternoon. The paperwork was piling up, the tension in the air almost tangible as Dazai declined yet another offer to do actual field-work with the others in favor of keeping tabs on you (unbeknownst to anyone else). You’d left the office at your earliest convenience, hoping to relax in the corner with your favorite beverage.

It is all you can do to keep from spewing the profane as he invites himself to your table, waltzing in without a care in the world. 

You’re trapped.

Ordering himself a double shot espresso, your coworker ignores your apparent apprehension as he gets comfy in his booth seat. Downing his drink while you’ve barely touched yours, he glances behind him to check out the waitstaff. No words are exchanged until the baristas are out of earshot.

“Well, you certainly seem to have a vested interest in me,” you say in the most nonchalant manner manageable––nervous because of his constant surveillance, but also because he’s quite handsome for a borderline stalker.

“You can drop the tight-lipped smile,” Dazai replies, eyes darkened.

You lower your voice, hackles raised. “How much do you know?”

“I suppose it’s all speculation, but my hunches are rarely wrong. You chose to work at a detective agency after all.” Though he’s avoided your question, the look on his face tells you everything you need to know. Eyes narrowed, the corners of his mouth upturned, he most definitely has your former occupation pegged.

“What gave it away?” is the only thing you can think to say.

“Are you sure you want to know?”

“Perhaps it will aid me in playing detective,” you quip. He chuckles dryly.

“Oh, where to start. That concealed weapon you carry––it’s not issued by the Agency. Though its outline is comparable to our standard Beretta 92FS Inox sidearm, there are some subtle differences, even when it’s tucked away and wrapped in cloth.” You raise your eyebrows, surprised that anyone would notice.

“The way you move soundlessly and seamlessly,” he continues, not bothering to pause. “It’s obviously second nature. You hardly make a sound if you can help it. And then there’s your understanding of the underworld, even though you try to hide it. You obviously know much more than you let on; your knowledge is too convenient. You claim to know just the perfect tidbit or two for a case, having overheard a street vendor or a barkeep, but the expression on your face is all too telling of a certain sense of pride. Such a seemingly mild-mannered sweetheart as yourself. Did you know that when you flinch at violence, you always react a hair slower than everyone else, as if you’re simply following suit? Also––”

“Okay, OK, I get it,” you say, defeated. “So that’s the reason why you’re leering at me every day? To add to this never-ending list of yours?”

“Well...” Dazai���s voice trails off. His features relax for the briefest moment, more alarming than reassuring to you. And then that nagging thought resurfaces. That is, the very first thing that came to mind when you were first introduced to him. Again: something you hope you’re wrong about.

“You’re quite suspicious yourself,” you interject. “Let alone your little stalker habit... you have the same name as him.” The corners of his eyes crease. 

“That’s an odd way of putting it,” he says with a hint of mirth in his voice, and not a smidgen of denial. Fuck.

Logic dictates that you should be scared shitless right now, sitting across from one of the most dangerous men in Mafia history. Logic dictates that you should’ve used more covert methods of uncovering his past. Straightening up, you tell yourself not to think about it.

“Well, I was under the impression that Dazai Osamu was only a legend and nothing more. I mean, a teenage orphan prodigy who threw their life as a Mafia exec away, only to disappear forever? Sounds like bullshit,” you state with as much cool-headedness as you can muster.

“I take that personally!” he gasps, twisting his arms every which way in mock offense, as if to shield himself from your harsh commentary. 

“You didn’t consider changing your name?”

“Not even once.” He winks, to which your heart may or may not skip a beat. Are you scared, or oddly enamored?

You push your cup along your side of the table. “How come you turned tail too? You had the status to do literally anything you wanted.” He brushes it off.

“What is this, my interview? The last time I checked, you were the one on trial,” he says, waving his hand like he’s batting your assertion out of the air.

“I’m on trial?” you ask, the cup coming to a stop. “Do the others have suspicions as well?”

“Oh no, nothing in particular to go on. Though Ranpo most definitely has you figured out,” he says, to which you startle. “...but he couldn’t care less, so don’t worry.” You unintentionally sigh relief as he continues: “My colleagues have this peculiar way of testing their new recruits. We call it an ‘entrance exam.’ And before you ask, I’m not responsible for administering yours, but I might be able to push you in the right direction.”

“Any hints?” 

He shakes his head, “Not really. No general tips or tricks. I need some more information,” he says, leaning in a bit. “So tell me about yourself. Why leave the Mafia for the ADA?”

You press your lips together, realizing he’s asking you the very same question he himself dodged moments ago. “I needed a change of atmosphere. And scenery. I wasn’t quite taken up with the constant death threats and daily bloodshed.”

“Oh, death threats? And bloodshed? I don’t suppose you were on the receiving end?” Dazai asks, one eyebrow cocked.

You laugh a restrained laugh, nodding. “I wasn’t. But those kinds of tactics... they aren’t in my nature. Everything about that job was suffocating, and I just couldn’t do it anymore.” Dazai looks at you thoughtfully.

“It’s interesting, though. You carry your past line of work in all of your mannerisms. Any chance you were born into it?”

You nod again, “Not my choice.”

“What a coincidence.” He flashes a toothy smile, silence thickening the air. You scramble to break it, eager to talk about something else.

“...So? Any advice for my test?”

“I’d be a little more forthcoming if only you’d tell me the full truth,” Dazai responds, and your face falls.

“What do you mean?” Your strained voice comes out meeker than you’d like, and it’s Dazai’s turn to sigh. He leans back into his booth seat, as if a little distance might solve your unease.

“I lost someone. The best friend I’ve ever had. He told me I wouldn’t find what I was looking for in the Mafia, so here I am. And I’m pretty sure you have someone like that too.” How does he know? Why is he telling you this? Your hands––they’re clammy. You turn your gaze to your lap, realizing that he’d dismantle anything but the truth. There are no options but one.

“It was... a family member.” More silence. Is your nose getting red? You hope your nose isn’t getting red.

“The Mafia threatened them?” he prods.

“They were collateral,” you say slowly. You hadn’t expected to talk about them today. You hadn’t expected any of this from a coworker who kept you at several arms’ lengths for days. Another coworker might respond “that’s horrible,” or “I’m sorry for your loss,” but not Dazai.

“Dazai, do you ever wonder if it’s our fault they got hurt?”

“No,” he replies immediately. Then he hesitates. “I mean, yes, and for a very long time, but not anymore. Evil will do evil; if not to our loved ones, then to someone else.” 

He’s right. Of course he’s right.

“But does it make it any easier?” You peer at him, hopeful, and he dismisses your expectations with a quick shake of the head. “Right.” Pause. 

“But you’ve come to the right place. Unlike the Mafia, this is an environment where you can heal. Sometimes the wounds reopen,” he says, “but I promise you that your feelings will go towards something productive.” You swallow, blinking back would-be teardrops. The salty marinade seeps back into you.

Then, under your breath: “Okay.” “Thank you.” 

“Of course. I could talk about this all day.” The tightness in your throat dissipates, the water in your eyes no longer threatening to spill.

“So, the entrance exam? I’ve told you everything now,” you pry. He thrums his fingers, amused.

“Oh, that won’t be necessary. I figured pretty early on that you would be okay. You’re gonna pass just fine without my help––I only wanted to get to know my new coworker better.” His fingers stop as he gauges your response.

“Wha–?” This guy! He played you, straight to the verge of tears..! Shoulder tense, you jump to your feet.

“Sorry to deceive you. I’ll see you upstairs, then.” Jeez, the bandaged bastard’s already heading out!

“Wait!” Cheeks flushed, you’re unsure why you’re calling out to him, but it makes him stops in his tracks.

“...Yes?” 

“...You’re not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“I’ll think about it.” Dazai’s coy voice is all but reassuring.

“No, seriously,” you plead, eyes wide. “I really need this. God forbid someone else prompts a retelling of my life story.” He turns to face you.

“Then let’s make a deal.”

“What kind of deal?” 

He steps towards you, leaning in to whisper in your ear: “Meet me in front of this building tomorrow at 10 PM. There’s a restaurant I want to take you.” You feel your mouth open, then close by itself. 

This is it. This is why he can’t look away from you. If he was only observing you, he could, would do it without being so obvious. You’re sure of it now. You replay each once-menacing occurrence of eye contact from the past few days in your head, and you notice something new. Hunger? Want? Even greed? You can see it in his eyes right now. Those eyes, they threaten to dance around, maybe even travel a bit... lower. 

(You jest yourself. ‘Once-menacing?’ He’s still menace, still a danger.) He turns away, heading for the door again, not waiting for a response:

“Don’t be late.”

A chill runs up your spine. It’s a mix of fear, and bitterness, and panic, but most of all... 

A growing anticipation.

[afinepricklypear]

**Update: The works mentioned in this post have since been taken down. The “message” was removed by AO3 because it was a violation of their TOS and it seems the author chose to remove their “opinions” piece.**

Despite the ongoing world crisis, I hope everyone is doing great as the year comes to a close and prepping for a safe holiday season.

I don’t really post here a lot, but I just wanted to talk about a problem that exists in every fandom and has recently come up for me in the BSD fandom. This problem is typically referred to as: toxic behavior, however, I sort of hate that term because it’s an umbrella term that encapsulates a wide array of behaviors that is purposefully vague so as to imply everything can be toxic, which means the definition changes depending upon the person, and ends up getting thrown around to describe any behavior that a person dislikes. That said, most people can agree that the term ‘toxic behavior’ includes “shipper wars” and harassing people because of their “ship”.

Yesterday, a user on AO3 going by the penname E_C_arts posted a message titled “deer Soukoku fans” and giving it the not-innocuous summary “please we’re begging you, please stop”. Clicking through leads to a rather prime example of this particular flavor of toxic fandom behavior, guised as an attempt to defend those who were allegedly victims of this self-same behavior, also a lovely example of emotional manipulation.

Although what’s currently posted (and what I managed to screen shot below) may not seem terrible on first glance, if not a little cringey, and can be easy to agree with (don’t bully people that write for a ship you dislike), this was not their original message and has been edited since being posted and, and only after receiving the number of comments it did and which they’re now noting as “proving their point” – a point which they erased, thus manipulating perceptions. I wish I had gotten a screenshot of the original, but if you scroll through the comments, you can find some people that quoted it.

This person most definitely did open their “message” to Soukoku fans by literally telling them to “stop writing” for it. They claimed there was some unspecified AU (or maybe multiple unspecified AUs) that had been overwritten for, that it was overused, and not original. They went on to talk about how the abundance of soukoku content was turning off new fans to the series (don’t even know how that logics…) and bullying people from creating content for other ships, basing these irrational sentiments off some false claim that removing everything with the soukoku ship from the fandom would only leave behind a sad, inacccurate (and oddly specific) 305 posts.

Evidence of their now deleted perspective can be further seen in another post they made to AO3 a couple days before this ugly rant. Titled simply “My unpopular BSD opinions”, they didn’t manage to garner much attention and went mostly ignored because, well, it’s your opinions about the show and that’s whatever. Of course, when you click into it, the very first “opinion” shared, is that they hate Dazai x Chuuya. Okay, that’s an opinion everyone is entitled to, and that’s fine. You don’t like the popular ship, that’s…not exactly an unpopular opinion, there’s quite a number of people that don’t ship soukoku. No problem. Until, they go on to elaborate.

Despite the title of this piece being ‘their opinions’, they state as ‘fact’ that its confirmed that this is “not a thing”, so ‘please stop shipping them it doesn’t work, it’s way too overused for it to be “funny” anymore’ (I’m a little confused about this wording, because Shipping is Serious Business™, so…not sure there are too many soukoku shippers doing it because they think it’s hilarious or whatnot, in fact, most soukoku fics are tagged ‘angst’, which we all know, angst is very ‘haha, lol’…but whatevs). They then include the same sentiment they expanded on in their Dear John to soukoku fans and subsequently deleted: “Please stop, there are too many au’s with almost the exact same plot Chuuya and Dazai being together, its really difficult to find any non-Dazai x Chuuya au’s”.

On the surface, once again, there are some “truths” to this sentiment. DaiChuu is a popular ship and there is a disproportionate amount of soukoku ship fics on the fandom comparative to other ships (soukoku comes in at a whopping 10,000+ currently, with the next popular ship Aku/Atsushi sitting at a decidedly less 2500+). It’s really not that difficult to find non-DazaixChuuya fics, if you know how to use filters on AO3, but there are going to be less to read from when you filter it down, and depending on your ship, you may find yourself in a fic desert, and I can certainly understand why someone young and lacking in rational thought processes might want to blame the popular ship for this predicament.

The problem with this logic, and it permeates every fandom, not just BSD, is that the shippers sharing and loving their ship are not to blame for your lack of ship content. You just don’t have a popular ship. If all the people who love soukoku stopped creating content for it, as this person is ‘begging’ them to do, that’s not going to increase the amount of content for your ships, because the reason that content isn’t being created is because there aren’t enough shippers for it. So, the only way this person’s logic works, is if what this person is actually saying, isn’t that they want these people to stop creating content for the BSD fandom, they just want them to jump ship, stop creating content for soukoku and start creating content for their ships.

Any creator/fan is going to have a visceral reaction to that: who the fuck are you to tell me what to create? And for free, no less!

This moves us more towards a clearer definition of what is toxic fandom behavior. In short, its telling anyone how they should interact with or interpret their favorite content. I mean, even Word of God does not have this power. That’s because every single fan in a fandom is an individual human being. They are possessed of their own autonomy, and as a creator I know, that once you put something out into the world and give it over to others, you have little control over how people consume and feel about your work. You can tell them your intention, but that’s not going to sway them to interpret it that way, and that’s…just the way it works.

Now, the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. It’s easy for me to be ‘offended’ by this person’s post and not see their complaints because I am a soukoku fan. I’m also the target of this person’s rant, and one of those people this person is attempting to emotionally manipulate into writing for other ships in the fandom for which I have no preference. But I am capable of seeing the other side of this argument.

First, because I do have other fandoms in which I am part, and for which I have a rare-pair ship. For example, I am a Gundam Wing fan and a 2x5 (Duo/WuFei) shipper. I’ve posted two 2x5 fics on fanfiction.net. While 2x5 is not the rarest of rarepairs in the Gundam Wing fandom, it is significantly eclipsed (as are almost *all* ships in the fandom) by the 1x2 (Heero/Duo) ship. Do I hate 1x2 shippers for my lack of 2x5 content? No. I just appreciate what I’ve got all the more, and I’ll create content for it when I feel compelled, and I sure the fuck won’t implore 1x2 shippers to stop writing for their fave and write more for mine because I want more 2x5 – that’s sheer entitlement, right there, pure and simple. I also ship 3xD (Trowa/Dorothy) in Gundam Wing, which *is* the rarest of rarepairs – I think there’s only, like, two stories in existence that features this pair on the entirety of the internet. I’m also a RavenxMurphy (Murven) shipper in The 100 fandom and I do not hate Bellarke fans because…those people are scary and have canceled the show’s creator for not delivering on Bellarke, and in BSD, I ship Atsushi/Lucy (yes, I said it, they’re cute af and I hope Asagiri delivers on that ship). I also low-key ship Yosano/Ranpo (sorry, Ranpo/Poe shippers, I understand the appeal, I just think him and Yosano is sooo cute, please don’t kill me…), and I also ship Yosano with Kunikida – all of which are some of the rarest in the BSD fandom.

Second, because I have seen and called out shipping harassment in the BSD fandom, so I am well aware that this kind of thing exists – as it exists literally everywhere and in every flavor. Against soukoku shippers from antis and by soukoku shippers against shippers putting Dazai or Chuuya with any other characters and by soukoku shippers against other soukoku shippers that are, uh, “doing it wrong”. None of these is appropriate. You’re not fighting fire with fire if you’re an anti-attacking the popular ship, you’re just creating a bigger fire and burning the entire fandom down. You’re not defending your ship if you are a soukoku fan attacking non-soukoku fans, you’re just punching down by attacking a less popular ship. And top/bottom arguments aren’t just toxic, they’re also deeply entrenched in fetishization of same sex pairings through a forced heteronormative lens and is, kind of, sort of, actually homophobic in its basis (yes, I said it. It’s ignorant and homophobic and trying to argue with ‘personality/physical traits’ as evidence of who serves what position in the bedroom can be emotionally and mentally damaging to members of the LGBTQ community. Claiming that Chuuya should be bottom because he’s shorter/smaller, or that Dazai has ‘bottom energy’ because he’s more flamboyant and ‘feminine’ is straight up discrimination – a shorter guy can definitely be top, and a manly man can be bottom, it’s not a behavior based on perceived gendered traits, it is just a fucking preferred sexual position, and no, you are not ‘fixing it’ by purposely using positions for these characters that eschews the stereotypes either. Trying to justify positioning by personality/physical traits at all, in any way, shape, or form is just not okay – if it’s your preference, it’s your preference, no justification needed, just recognize that it is *your* preference and arguing what’s ‘right/wrong’ positioning is just plain wrong).

But this brings us to a different issue: bad actors and blaming a whole community for a ‘few rotten apples’. I could easily lump this one person in with everyone that does not ship soukoku and deem them all toxic, aggressive, entitled, bullies attempting to harass soukoku shippers off the platform. Or I could see them for what they are, individuals with individual motivations and drives and morals that also happen to share the same shipping preferences. Is it true to say that there are no soukoku fans that engage in the behaviors described by E_C_arts? No, there are definitely those that do, as there are antis that engage in that same behavior against soukoku fans. But this person also asserts that soukoku fans turning ‘every BSD post about soukoku’ is also a toxic behavior. To which I refer you back to one. This is how they engage with and interpret the work. Don’t yuck on someone else’s yum. People want to gush about how cute they thought soukoku were in an official art, or that they felt there was some hidden (or not so hidden) interaction between them that validates their ship, or their inspired to create soukoku content based on it, so what (for the record, it irks me too when people go ‘see it’s canon and Bones totally ships it’, because it’s unlikely, given BSDs genre, that any romantic relationship will be confirmed, soukoku notwithstanding). It is not, in fact, toxic to gush over it. Let them have their fun with it, let them enjoy their ship. Now, if you go and make a comment about liking the art for other reasons and they reply to you about “…but also soukoku”, then still, that’s not toxic, that’s just them enjoying the content the way that they enjoy it, so let them enjoy it, and you opened yourself to engagement without any qualifiers for the type of engagement you were soliciting, you can’t then backtrack and go ‘but I’m not a soukoku shipper, they should’ve been able to read my mind and known that, it’s totally toxic of them to share their personal reasons for loving the show in response to my sharing my love for the show’. But if you comment about another ship, and they reply to you “…ew, gross! It’s 100% soukoku” then yes, that’s toxic. A lot of people fail to make this distinction, that they are, maybe, merely being triggered and not actually harassed, by feeling like their ship isn’t being validated because they see another ship all over the place and everyone they engage with ships it.

It’s also toxic, to take an experience with one person and hold every soukoku shipper in existence responsible for that one person’s inappropriate behavior. The truth is, that bad actors amongst soukoku fans are not unique, not to the ship and not to the fandom and not even to fandom culture in general. Every group in existence everywhere has bad actors in it that, while the group disavows their behavior, they continue to be held accountable for those individuals and judged by them. For current events, look at how the BLM movement has been blamed for bad actors (many of whom were not actually BLM activists) that took advantage of the protests and started riots and chaos. A small percentage of people were involved in these behaviors, but the entire movement, despite speaking out against rioting, continues to take the blame for it. For me, that’s the root of toxicity. We need to start holding individuals accountable and stop blaming people who have no control over those individuals, because they share a few similar beliefs or interests. That’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But the shippers as a whole are not to blame for the actions of a few, and the reason that it feels that there are so many more soukoku fans that do this is because of volume, there are so many more soukoku fans. It’s basic math. If two percent of fans are these toxic kinds of shippers, then there’s going to be so many more of them in a larger population than a smaller one.

I try to call out toxic behavior, no matter if it’s my ship being lambasted or one of my fellow shippers doing the lambasting, whenever I see it, but the trouble is, I don’t typically go into fan content that isn’t for my ship and, thus, I don’t see it. The same goes for the vast majority of soukoku fans out there. We’re here for soukoku content, we’re seeking out soukoku content, and avoiding what isn’t soukoku content. But here is my offer to all of those who are outside of my ship. I like to argue. If someone is harassing you for having a non-soukoku ship, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them in no uncertain terms, and in many unpleasant ways, that they do not represent the soukoku shipping community and they are an embarrassment to us. Content for any and all ships is welcomed and encouraged within the fandom. Write, draw, contribute, be a part of the fandom and express yourself, please. If you are a soukoku shipper (or even if you’re not), and someone is harassing you about your top/bottom preference, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them why their justifications for which character should be top or bottom in a same sex pairing is grossly misrepresentative and exploitative of the LGBTQ community and rather disgusting. Do not assume that because we seem to remain silent on these types of harassment that it’s because we are in agreement with them, it is only because we haven’t seen them – why would we, we’re not going in those spaces that weren’t created for us. Ask the community for help, don’t attack the rest of us for the poor actions of a few that we were not even aware of. Let us help you in policing them, rather than assuming we don’t care. We are just too busy staying in our lanes, but if you need us, we are here. Majority of us want a clean, friendly, welcoming community for creators of all types as much as you do.

All of this aside, there are spaces and places for these debates and AO3 is not it. Posting this kind of message is actually a violation of AO3 TOS, constituting as harassment, which is defined on the AO3 TOS as “…any behavior that produces a generally hostile environment for its target…”( https://archiveofourown.org/tos#IV.G.). This general behavior also falls into the realm of another kind of toxic fandom behavior: hijacking a platform/tag for your own purposes that is a direct contradiction to its express usage (otherwise, known as trolling). AO3 is for posting fan-made content that contributes to a deeper understanding and expansion upon the original work. Using AO3 to attack people who are using AO3 for exactly what it is designed to be used for is an abuse of the platform. It’s not okay and invites similar content that will ultimately interfere with the original purpose of the platform. AO3 is for fan content, not for your own personal rants about other people in the community, please keep it that way

I do also want to note, that this person choosing to edit their post after receiving the justified ire from fans (notably soukoku and non-soukoku fans alike upset by the audacity of this person, who, as far as can be told, has never themselves contributed fanfiction to the community, to tell people what they can and cannot write) for their original comments, is a form of manipulative abuse called ‘gaslighting’. They are now claiming to be a victim that “never said to stop writing”, despite that having been the literal words they used in the opening of their original post. They are now pointing at these comments as “proof” of their point that soukoku fans are aggressive bullies that attack without cause when there was definitely cause from the original comments. This person clearly has bigger issues than just lacking shipper content for their personal preferences on the BSD fandom.

To all of those who are afraid to share content for your ship because you think you’ll be harassed, as evidenced by this person’s claims, that is simply not true. While there might be one or two people that say something, we all get them no matter if you have a popular ship or a rarepair ship, haters are gonna hate – I’ve gotten my share of hateful comments towards my ships too, but there are many more people that share your ship and are interested in your content, in fact, some of them are starved for it. While having a rarepair might mean you’ll garner less interactions with your content, you have a better opportunity to form a deeper bond with the people that do interact, and they may be more appreciative, because what you’re delivering to them is so much harder to come by. The existence of one ship does not affect your ship’s popularity, and if it simply went away, that doesn’t mean that your ship would receive more attention – in fact, it might mean the show itself would receive less attention.

Create and let others create and use platforms for their appropriate purposes, and most importantly, when it comes to addressing toxic behavior in a fandom, look to yourself first. Are you placing the blame where it belongs? Are you addressing the root cause of the problem or swinging blindly and attacking innocent bystanders in the process? Will what you say actually help the problem? Or will it contribute to the issue, and maybe even create an issue that didn’t exist before?

[shinsoukokuvalentine]

Animal

(Today’s fic is a Beastars au! If you’ve never heard of Beastars, think Zootopia with higher stakes despite being set in a high school. Five books of the manga are out in English and the anime’s coming to Netflix this month, if you’re curious.

I’m really proud of this one, so let me know what you think!)

318/365: Animal

-

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke: Rex Rabbit

At first, Ryuunosuke’s sure it’s fear.

Fear causes his ears to perk straight up when the new student steps in front of the class. Fear causes his nose to twitch, his eyes to grow.

“Class, this is our new student,” the teacher says as the tiger writes his name on the board. “He just moved here. Let’s give him a warm welcome.”

The tiger has unusual white fur. He’s large, as all tigers are, but oddly lanky. When he turns and faces the class, his eyes almost seem to glow with a strange mix of lavender and gold.

“I’m…” he begins to say, but he mumbles, not opening his mouth much. He looks down at the floor and shuffles his feet, countenance completely missing a predator’s usual confidence.

The teacher shoots him a stern look.

“Speak up, please,” he says sharply. The tiger tenses, golden eyes wide, but finally, he opens his lips.

Fear causes Ryuu’s rabbit heart to hammer against his ribs at the sight of the tiger’s teeth.

“I’m Nakajima Atsushi!” He says, enormous fangs glistening in his mouth. He adds, bowing sharply, “It’s a pleasure to meet you all!”

“Welcome, Nakajima-san,” everyone calls back. Everyone except Ryuu, who has frozen to his chair.

-

Nakajima Atsushi: White Tiger

“You’re Akutagawa-san, right?”

Ryuu practically jumps out of his seat as Atsushi speaks. He whips his head up, staring at the tiger, who blinks innocently as if unaware of the intimidation exuded by his mere presence.

“The one who runs the literature club?” Atsushi says, still mumbling, lips practically closed. He seems almost shy, eyes darting around, tail swiping across the floor.

Ryuu’s sure it’s a farce.

“Yes,” he mutters, narrowing his eyes, wishing he could climb on his desk to stand taller than his feline classmate, but also knowing that would make him look even more ridiculous. So he simply stands. “How did you know about that?”

Atsushi turns, eyes sweeping over the emptying classroom. “He told me,” he says, pointing at a red fox a few rows over, who leans back in his chair so far that only two of its legs still sit on the floor.

The fox’s large ears twitch, and he looks in their direction.

“You’re always saying we need more members,” Chuuya points out. Ryuu wants to wring his neck.

-

Nakahara Chuuya - Red Fox

“Who goes to a new school and the first thing they want to join is the literature club?”

Ryuu shrugs, eyes fixed to his phone screen as he chews on his straw.

“He didn’t,” Chuuya points out, sitting down at the lunch table, drawing Ryuu’s grey eyes to him. Michizou falls silent.

“How do you know?” asks Higuchi. Chuuya rolls his eyes.

“‘Cause the guy is as subtle as a sledgehammer,” he scoffs. “He saw me talking to Ryuunosuke-kun after first period, came up to me after second period, and asked if he was in any type of club.”

Ryuu nearly chokes on his straw and successfully drops his phone in his salad.

“WHAT?!” Higuchi roars.

The lunchroom falls silent for a split second, staring at the wolf, and her muzzle ignites in a fierce red blush as she lowers herself back into her seat.

“Are you saying he joined the club just for Ryuunosuke-kun?” Michizou says skeptically after curious eyes turn away and Higuchi scrambles to wipe the dressing off of Ryuu’s phone. “What’s so interesting about him?”

Ryuu shoots the lizard a glare, silencing him.

“Maybe he likes you,” Chuuya wonders.

“No.”

All eyes at the table turn to Ryuu, whose hands twist in his lap, who turns to stare at the table, whose shoulders tense and square up.

“He wants to eat me.”

For a moment, no one says anything. The silence feels palpable.

“D-don’t joke about that!” Higuchi finally stammers. Ryuu looks at her from the corner of his narrowed eyes.

“I wasn’t joking.”

No one at that table finishes their lunch.

-

Higuchi - Gray Wolf

Understandably, when they begin that day’s club meeting, Higuchi won’t let Atsushi anywhere near Ryuu. Ryuu in no way minds.

Even so, he still can’t focus, only staring at the tiger as the other club members debate the day’s reading and writing assignments.

“You’re unusually quiet, Akutagawa-kun,” Ranpo points out all of a sudden, beak clacking. “Is something on your mind?”

All eyes turn to him, and Ryuu suddenly feels even smaller than normal.

“I…” he begins, eyes darting around until they fixate on Atsushi.

“Do you want me to get you a cup of water?” The tiger asks. Ryuu manages to shake his head.

“N… N-no,” he finally says. “I-i’m fine. We’re still talking about Rashoumon, right?”

Higuchi frowns.

“We stopped discussing that over ten minutes ago,” she says. “Nakajima-kun was just telling us how he likes to write short stories.”

Ryuu’s nose twitches. He hadn’t even noticed the tiger begin to speak.

“Alright,” he mutters, ears facing completely forward, putting all his effort into focusing.

No amount of effort can stop his heart from racing when Atsushi smiles, and his fangs gleam white as alabaster.

-

Tachihara Michizou - Monitor Lizard

Ryuu practically runs as soon as the club’s adjourned. He clutches his books tight to his chest, staring at the ground, mind on white fur and honey-lavender eyes.

And teeth. Long, knife-like, bone-crushing teeth.

He’s too focused. Even with his ears, he hears the warning a second too late.

And he’s pushed to the ground. Dirt flies into his face, his books fall out of his arms, and a heavy weight lands on top of him.

“That… That was close.”

Ryuu freezes. Slowly, afraid to look at him, he turns his eyes to the tiger that holds him to the ground.

Atsushi smiles sheepishly, fangs inches from Ryuu’s neck.

“If that baseball had hit you, you would’ve been out cold,” he says. “Sorry my first instinct was to-”

Ryuu lets out a cry he didn’t know he was capable of.

A high-pitched, primitive rabbit’s scream bursts from his mouth. He swipes his claws across the tiger’s nose, causing him to rear back, freeing Ryuu, who grabs his books and scrambles to his feet.

He runs and doesn’t look back.

-

Edogawa Ranpo - Magpie

Safe in his dorm, Ryuu shakes. He clutches his pillow to his chest, eyes wide, and he shakes.

He’s never felt fear like this before. Not from Higuchi, not from Chuuya, not from any of the other predators in the school. It’s not like Atsushi is the biggest, or the fiercest, or even the most intimidating.

So why him? Why does every look he sends Ryuu’s way cause his heart to try and escape from his chest? Why do his fangs send chills down his spine? Why can he see only him whenever he enters a room, even when they’re surrounded by other animals?

A knock hits the door, and Ryuu’s ears perk up.

“Akutagawa-san?”

The rabbit freezes. It’s him, in the prey dorms. He tracked him here, or asked where he went. He’s been searching for him.

“You… You left your notebook in the schoolyard.”

Ryuu’s careful not to make a sound. Still, he leans forward on his bed, looking to the door, watching the shadows of Atsushi’s feet.

“Look, I… I’m sorry about earlier.”

Slowly, perhaps only through morbid curiosity, Ryuu steps onto the floor. His furred feet make no noise at all.

“I acted without thinking, and… I’m sure there were better ways to keep that ball from hitting you other than tackling you to the ground.”

Ryuu can hear his heartbeat. It’s as fast as his; they’re almost beating in sync.

“I must’ve really scared you,” Atsushi whispers, and Ryuu stops in his tracks when his voice cracks.

“I know I’m scary,” he sighs. “That’s why I don’t open my mouth much. You noticed that, right? Everyone does. They think it’s weird that I don’t want to show my fangs.”

Ryuu steps to the door. He places his hands on it, his ear against it.

“But I don’t want to scare anyone, you know? Especially not someone I-!”

He stops, cutting himself off. His heart skips a beat as he takes a few deep breaths.

“... I’m sorry,” he says again after a moment. “For scaring you.”

Ryuu opens the door. Nose still scraped but no longer bleeding, Atsushi’s ears perk up slightly. And realization hits Ryuu like a thousand oceans crashing into him, washing over him, drowning him.

“I’m not scared of you.”

Atsushi’s jaw drops open. Without saying another word, Ryuu takes his notebook out of his outstretched hands and begins to step back inside his room.

But after composing himself, Atsushi manages to speak once again.

“... I’m glad,” he smiles, those same fangs stirring up those same feelings in Ryuu’s core.

Except now he knows how to label them.

So he simply nods, closing the door, listening to Atsushi’s footsteps fade down the hallway, sliding against the wall, heart feeling as if it’s going to explode.

It had never been fear, after all.

[leonawriter]

Foxes and Spirits and Office Chairs

Read it on AO3

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs, Mononoke

Characters: Atsushi, Kunikida, Dazai, various others mentioned and appearing.

Pairings: Dazai/Chuuya (background).

Summary: There's a fox sitting in Kunikida's chair when Atsushi arrives at work that morning. This would be far stranger if Atsushi didn't have a very concrete suspicion of who that fox was.

...

The day after it's all over, Kunikida is mad that Dazai is late for work, which isn't exactly a rare thing to happen, but neither is Kunikida getting mad over it when they have so much more work to do than normal. The events of the past few days had certainly created enough of a backlog.

He's also, Atsushi notes as he and Kyouka go through the Agency's door, yelling about the fact that somehow, a red fox has managed to sit itself - no, it turns out, not sit, more like curl up - in the middle of Kunikida's chair, so he can't sit down unless he uses a different chair entirely.

Atsushi takes one look at the fox, its ears twitching, and one of its eyes slowly opens. A brown eye.

He blinks. 

The fox blinks right back, and then seems to smile, which is really just its - his - eyes closing into crescents, and his ears twitching again.

Kyouka gives him a curious look when he sighs, but he doesn't know how to explain, and where he'd start even if he did. All he can do is wonder if what he's about to do is going to break any unspoken rules. Although if it does, Ranpo is looking over his way and just looks amused rather than worried, so he can only assume that things are going to be fine.

He walks through the office, over to Kunikida's chair (which is right next to a temporary replacement, which is just like Kunikida to say that it isn't ideal to have to switch chairs or something like that, and reaches out to put his hands around the fox, which he knows isn't sleeping, or dangerous at all.

Well, perhaps the last one isn't so much- it's a point of view thing. And even if the fox has fangs and claws, he's fairly sure he won't use them here, and that's all that matters, really.

"Come on, Dazai-san," he says, already resigned to the fact that this is going to be his life from here on, that the entire office will have to get used to this, "you can't pretend you aren't here all day."

Kunikida stops his tirade and turns to stare at Atsushi, and the fox now dangling in Atsushi's arms, which is likewise staring balefully up at both of them now. His legs are hanging from Atsushi's arms, mostly because he still isn't sure what the accepted way of carrying a fox is, especially when they aren't commonly accepted pets in most parts of the world. 

"Atsushi," Kunikida says, "did you just call that fox Dazai?"  He blinks, and freezes at the whine coming from said fox, and glances over at Ranpo, who is still looking like this is all great fun. "I can understand that it's doing a very good job of interrupting my schedule in that idiot's absence, but-"

"...actually," he says, before Kunikida can go any further, "I'm calling him Dazai because this is Dazai. I- you weren't there? But-"

He's interrupted by laughter - Ranpo's laughter, in fact.

Kunikida just continues to stare at Dazai, the Dazai in his arms, as if the statement is too difficult to put together in his head after hearing it heard said aloud.

"That- that doesn't make any sense," Kunikida says eventually. "Abilities don't work on Dazai. There isn't any ability that should work on that waste of space, and there's no reason why such a ridiculous one as the sort to turn people into animals should work where others have failed!"

Ranpo just keeps laughing. Dazai squirms in his arms, but Atsushi isn't about to trust him not to jump right back onto Kunikida's chair, or worse, cause other sorts of trouble around the office. Like this, it might wind up worse than what they usually have to deal with from him.

"That'd be because it isn't an ability," he finally says, which makes Dazai whine again. Kyouka comes up next to them, looking at both him and the fox and Kunikida and the laughing Ranpo, and seems to be debating just how odd this all is. She'd been involved in things recently more than Kunikida had, toward the end, but hadn't been there for everything. "Though... come to think, why are you like this?" He finally puts his coworker down but makes sure to not let go. "Did you... forget how to turn back again?"

The way Dazai's ears flick and the way he immediately seems to want to not look Atsushi in the eye says a lot. Everything, really. 

"...Kitsune?"

Kyouka only says the one word, but it's what gains the attention of several of the others.

Atsushi nods, biting his lip a little as he does so.

He can still remember the previous evening, having been only one of two people to have been able to reach through the illusions and find his way through to the source of it all, only one of two people who had seen and heard things that no one else could see or hear, or should, for that matter. Things Dazai would never have wanted anyone else to know, except that something had happened to bring it all up again, raw as Atsushi's own memories of the orphanage had been when those had been brought up during the case covering the headmaster's death.

They'd had help. A stranger in odd traditional clothes and marks on his face who had seemed to know what was going on, the same stranger who had been there during the entire rest of their case, before any of the illusions had begun showing themselves in the city streets at all.

The man had acted as if seeing such personal things that Dazai would never have intentionally shared with anyone was completely normal. Stood or sat calmly through it all. Even though he was someone who didn't exactly have any right to any of what he'd walked into-

As if Atsushi himself had that right, when Nakahara- when Chuuya-san had made it plain how uncomfortable he had felt, too.

Then again, there had been a gentleness to the man when he had dealt with Dazai in person that had eased his mind somewhat about that. As well as the way Dazai himself hadn't exactly pushed him away either. In fact, Dazai had seemed oddly curious, both during the worst of it, and when it was all cooling down.

"My mother," Dazai had said, still caught by his own illusions, still needing to pull at the threads of them so that he could figure out who he was again. "She used to live with us, and I think I was almost happy. My father would tell her those three words each night, and she would go to him. But then one day he didn't, and she never came back. Not to him... and not to me."

And what were those three words, the strange man had asked.

"I don't know," Dazai had said. "I've forgotten. I don't even- I don't even remember her face-"

Which was something that Atsushi could sympathise with. He himself couldn't remember the faces - or anything else, for that matter - about his own parents. He'd always assumed somehow that Dazai had had... something, something more, but somehow this feels worse, in a way that he can't quite describe.

Something about having had, and forgetting. Knowing what you've lost.

Atsushi had been there when Dazai had been struggling and vulnerable. He had been there when Chuuya-san had said that everything was reminding him of a story he'd read once, when reading up on folklore, and the man with the gold hair and the markings on his face had smiled, and asked Chuuya-san this time, what those three words were. 

He'd been there when Chuuya-san had said, absently at first-

"Come, love. Sleep."

He'd been there when the four of them - or perhaps the three, considering the way that the strange man had just been smiling - had come to the realisation that the words weren't just an invitation, but a single word, a name, the word kitsune. The word fox.

Dazai's mother had been a kitsune. One that had left her son behind, who had grown up to not know who or what he was, and Atsushi had been the one to thank the strange man after all was said and done, no matter that he said that he hadn't done anything, and had been the one to see Dazai collapsed in the small mafia executive's arms, with two pointed ears and a tail poking out from underneath his coat, and he had also been the one to offer to take him home to the dorms, to tell him that none of what he'd learned would go beyond the three of them, none of it, if Dazai himself didn't want it.

Dazai had just stared at him, wide-eyed, and said rather simply that Chuuya was the one to tell me to come home first, so he gets dibs.

But now Dazai was on four legs in the Agency office, and he was just whining about everything rather than actually being upset, and...

"I thought kitsune tended to have nine tails...?"

"No, that's only when they've lived long enough. Right?"

"Why are you asking me? I'm not the one talking to the fox, here."

"R-right..."

All of which, although perfectly natural questions to be asking, were maybe not the best to bring up there and then, especially not with the potential direction they might go in, which he really hoped didn't happen.

"Given that I still don't believe in anything more supernatural than the extent of our own abilities, I find it hard to think of any of this as anything other than an elaborate prank by someone who still hasn't arrived at work!"

Kunikida's glare is almost enough to make Atsushi begin to apologise without even thinking, even if he isn't doing anything wrong, and it wasn't a prank. In fact, the only thing that stops him from saying sorry even just for the fact that Dazai was being frustrating like he normally was, was the bark that came from the fox - from Dazai - and that was followed up by another, and then another, fox-barks that sounded out loudly in the small space of the office, kon kon kon, just like that.

And then the barks turned into laughter, and Atsushi could hear clapping from over where Ranpo was - Ranpo, who had revealed himself at some point during the entire debacle of the past few days to not be entirely human himself - and Kunikida made an odd whimpering noise before sitting down hard into his seat, which Atsushi vaguely noted still had fox hairs on it.

Because Dazai had turned back into a human-shaped person, albeit sat on his backside on the floor. 

Because Dazai was laughing, and something in Atsushi's chest lightened at the sound of it, now knowing for sure that at least he hadn't done anything wrong by saying what Dazai was, when he himself couldn't.

Because Dazai was currently human enough to laugh like one, but just like the previous evening, two pointed ears stuck up from his head, and an white-tipped orange tail could be seen sticking out from underneath his brown coat, both moving perfectly in time with his moods and responses and not in any way even plausibly some sort of costume.

Knowing Dazai, for all Atsushi knew the only reason he'd been able to shift back when he still wasn't used to this being what he was at all was that he'd been so caught up in laughing at Kunikida, that he'd stopped thinking about it, and had forgotten he didn't know how.

The ears and tail wouldn't budge for most of the rest of the day, however, which was a problem all of its own, considering how they could hardly let Dazai out on cases when he was looking like that, and Dazai himself spent most of the time complaining of how loud everyone was being, and how his chair didn't have nearly enough space for his tail.

...

AN: As said, a lot of those flashback events are part of a crossover story that I keep thinking to myself that I'll write, but put off because I'm not confident enough in how to write the Mononoke side. In short, however-

The Medicine Seller came to Yokohama, and wound up dealing with an Ayakashi that was tied to a case that the ADA was investigating, which triggered off some repressed memories for Dazai, which caused a second case for the Medicine Seller to deal with - until Chuuya basically cooled Dazai down effectively with those three words, because he wasn't just remembering them, but he meant them, too. And yes, Dazai did spend the night over with Chuuya (though probably just sleeping, mostly because of reawakened trauma and the exhaustion that brings, put together with actually feeling safe and comfortable).

I might well write more for this, even if it's not the backstory, to be honest, because as much as I love white-furred nine-tailed fox Dazai that's old as hell, I also love the red-furred Dazai that's still a cub, really, just a tiny cub compared to all those kyuubis.

The myth is based on one I've seen around (and that I saw someone use in an old fic of theirs, somewhere).