#ofc he's not the only one deserving of hate but in my mind the only thing worse than a nazi is a nazi who is also a stalker

[cigarette-room]

If Zoller has a thousand haters, I am one of them. If he has 10 haters, I am one of them. If he has one hater it's me and if he has no haters it means I have left this world

[trans-li-ling]

I think we should give Zora a gun and whatever happens to the Shadow Decree happens

[strawbeerossi]

Competition

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Description: You’re the new genius on campus. Spencer doesn’t like that one bit. Whenever there is a poker competition for charity held by the FBI, it only makes sense that you are both coming for each other’s necks.

Content/Warnings: Snarky!Spencer and snarky!reader, gambling, two characters are just alike so they hate each other trope, sex in a bathroom, finger sucking, unprotected sex, creampie.

I have no knowledge on poker. Sorry 😭

Word Count: 2.3K

Anon Request: You don’t have to do this but it’s my birthday on sunday (5th Nov) and i was wondering if you could do a Spencer one-shot. Maybe a little enemies to lovers sitch. smutty ofc 😉😉😉😉

Navigation || Criminal Minds Masterlist || Request

Happy birthday Anon 😘🎂

🏷️ @kr-1-sta @iluvreid @nervousmoongiver @multifandom-on-the-side @ferrjulie @lov1ngreid @sobbingcryingattsizzles @doriantomybasil @thegluesong @rosiehale23 @queermaxwooo @rubyatarah @smallgayandnotokay @Princesskuzimu

Spencer wasn’t a jealous guy by any means, nor was he the type to be so self absorbed that he could care about someone’s opinion of him changing. As cocky as it sounded, he knew that he was going to always be the person on the team with the most knowledge on any given subject. That was until you joined the team.

You rivalled him in the academic department, having an IQ of 187. You didn’t have the eidetic memory though, so Spencer liked to think he could one up you in that department. You might have been good with any form of maths or science, however you didn’t hold a candle to the amount of vast knowledge that he carried in his memory alone.

Your first day on the team determined your relationship, you getting angry at the way he would so quickly talk over you when a question was being asked. You came into this job excited, wanting to spend time with the whole group that seemed so close knit from an outside perspective. Instead, you were met with an immature imbecile who really thought you’d allow him to speak over you.

As weeks turned into months, things didn’t seem to change. You wouldn’t dare admit it but it did upset you just a tiny bit that he never actually gave you a chance. Ever since you spouted off your first contribution to a briefing, it was like he had to upstage you. Instead of discussing things like mature adults however, you both gave each other the most childish treatment. In your mind, he deserved it. He foolishly believed he was better than you for what reason? Was it because he was threatened that a woman came in to take over his genius position? Was he jealous of all the attention the team paid you without an eye roll, the opposite of what they did for him? You’d never know.

Whenever there was a poker competition that was brought up by the director of the FBI, it was a silly idea to want to gamble all night. Even for charity, you would rather just donate to the cause and go home to read a good book and have a tall glass of red wine. “Are you going to participate in the big game?” You had asked as you leaned against the counter in the kitchenette, a cup of coffee in your hand as you were talking with Penelope, Derek and Emily. “I might go just to support the charity. Nobody is gonna win whenever Reid is there. That guy is..” Penelope whistled while sipping from her own mug. “What do you mean? Him?” Derek was chuckling at your disbelief. “Poker is just a big math equation to him. He grew up in Vegas and can count cards. Nobody stands a chance against him. Not even you, mama.”

The words had you frowning. “I think I could kick his ass with no problem.” Emily was scoffing at your confidence. “Sure you will. I’m telling you, this isn’t something you wanna get into with him. Especially when betting is involved. He’s gonna get you, every single time.” You weren’t buying that. There was no way that these abilities couldn’t be outsmarted. Spencer wasn’t as smart as he thought he was. You were going to prove that.

When the day finally came along, you were paying for your ticket at the door before heading inside the large venue the FBI director had rented out, mainly to make sure that it was possible to fit all the agents and other people who purchased tickets for the poker tournament. You’d worn a black dress for the event, wanting to use your prized assets (wink) to take care of the men who were easy to distract. You’d made it to one of the many tables set up and placed your clutch beside you on the table, the chips you’d already purchased being stacked up in front of you while you waited for the table to fill.

Spencer had seen you the minute he came in and he knew where he needed to be for the night. Contrary to popular belief, he didn’t completely hate your guts. He always thought he would’ve liked you, however with you puffing out your chest and trying to take over his position on the team, he wouldn’t just lay down and take it. He fought back, anyone would. “Good evening.” He greeted you, making your eyes roll at his formality. “Hello, Reid.” You spoke in a monotone voice while resting your chin against the palm of your hand. You were just happy he willingly signed himself up for defeat whenever he sat beside you. This was a war that you intended to win.

Derek and Emily were funnily enough the two that day at the same table in order to get your game kicked off. As the cards were being dealt, you were confident. A flush. That’s not so bad. Luck was on your side, all you had to do was have a good poker face. As your eyes darted around the table, you were only raising an eyebrow once you made it to Spencer. He was staring at you so hard that you felt like he could see right through you. He was trying to read you. Another reason to keep a straight face as you return the questioning stares. “I’ll raise 20.” Spencer spoke, words slow and calculated as he tossed his chips in the middle of the table. “I’m folding.” Emily huffed, cards being put down on the table as she brought a hand to rub her face from frustration. “I’m calling.” You hummed while glancing over at Derek, who’d done the same.

With a straight from Derek, a flush from you, and a fucking royal flush from Spencer, you could feel your eye twitching. There was no way. He looked as cocky as ever, a smirk on his face as he was leaning over to get the chips. “Shall we go for another game?” He asked, making Emily nudge your side. “I told you.” She hissed. Maybe she was right. No! No, she’s not. You’re gonna do this even if it’s the last thing you do.

As the games continued, the tension between you and Spencer had grown much stronger from just how competitive you were being with one another. He was single handedly leaving you with nothing every play so far, causing you to run low on chips.

It was the last game whenever you had enough, pushing every chip in the middle of the table. “Fuck you, I’m all in.” You frowned, Derek and Emily pushing their own chips in just to end this whole thing sooner rather than later. “All in? That’s so foolish.” Spencer scoffed, however it didn’t stop him from adding his massive collection of poker chips to the pot. “I think you should’ve learned by now that I’m going to take this home.” He said, his tone cocky as he was looking over the new cards that were being passed around the table.

“I just wanna get another drink.” Emily muttered her own commentary to Derek, who nodded in agreement. “I know exactly what you mean.” He grumbled in return. This game had lost the fun nature of it whenever you and Spencer were too focused on one-upping one another.

You had the last laugh though, the look on Spencer’s face the moment that he realized you had a straight flush when he only had one pair was something you wanted photographed and framed. “Well. I don’t mean to brag Dr. Reid, but I just beat the best card counter in Vegas!” You smirked, leaning over the table to use your arms to scoop the chips close. Now, the way you leaned over the table gave a nice, tasteful view of your breasts threatening to spill over the neckline of your dress. “And that’s the game. Sorry.” You hummed, watching the way Spencer stared at you, a fire behind his eyes as he glared at you. “You got lucky! That’s all. You really think you can beat me when I’m not at my best?”

“That’s all the time, Spencer. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have chips to redeem.” You smirk, stacking them on the little tray before heading off. Which after you’d redeemed your winnings, you were walking off to the bathrooms. Spencer was still bitter, last you seen of him was him storming off to go god knows where. Whenever you had finished doing your business and you were washing your hands, your eyes were glancing up when the door was being pushed open. Whenever you saw the same agent who was still looking at you like he wanted to ring your throat, you couldn’t help but snort out a laugh. “This is the woman’s bathroom, Reid. What are you? A pervert?” You asked, staring over at him with amusement.

Although amusement turned to confusion when he was turning the lock on the door. “You know. I’m tired of your problem with me. You really think you’re better than me?” Spencer asked, walking closer. “Is that really a question?” You asked. Every ounce of cockiness was gone though whenever he had you trapped against the counter of the bathroom. “You really do. I think you need to be humbled. Nobody likes a cocky brat.” He huffed, making you scoff. “What are you gonna do? Huh? Gonna lecture me with your useless and boring facts like you always do? If anyone needs to be humbled, it’s you.” You seethed.

What Spencer did next caught you by surprise. The feeling of your teeth clashing together was felt immediately after as he was slamming his lips into yours. It wasn’t a soft ‘ease your way in’ kind of kiss. No. This was an angry ‘you need to learn a lesson’ kiss. You were dumbfounded. It didn’t stop you from returning the kiss that was dripping with rage and desire, your arms around his shoulders as your body leaned into his frame. “Always thing you’re better than me.” He murmured against your lips, his hands moving from your hips to your ass, giving it a firm squeeze as he was gently lifting you up to sit you on the counter. His lips were pulling from yours as he was sliding his hands up the black dress you wore tonight, his hands finding their way to your panties. Instead of taking them off though, your eyes were widening when you heard the sound of fabric tearing. “What the fuck?!” The words were in a high pitched squeak, Spencer shrugging as he was getting the ruined underwear. “You don’t need them. You like the attention anyway. I’m sure you’d like to bend over a table and show the whole place your pussy anyway.” He murmured, hand already working on his belt.

You shouldn’t have been as wet as you were. This was Spencer. Annoying, rambling, stupidly smart Spencer. The same guy who talked over you, who treated you like you weren’t a valued team member. Yet here you were, sitting on a bathroom counter at a convention center while the same man you despised was pulling his hard cock out of his slacks. “Who knows, maybe this will calm you down. In fact, I think it’ll get all that pent up anger and frustration out, I’m sure.” His tone was condescending, much different than you’d expect from the sweet Spencer Reid persona that he carried.

“Shut the fuck up.” You spat, making the male shake his head. “See? Brat.” He murmured, now pushing your thighs apart while guiding the leaking tip of his shaft to your entrance. “Let’s teach you a lesson.” One of your hands was gripping onto his shoulder, the other clutching the marble countertop as you let your head lean against the mirror in the bathroom the minute his cock was sinking inside of you. “F-fuck.”

“Who knew that this would shut you up?” He asked with a smirk, his eyebrow raising. “Maybe I should’ve done this sooner. Think you secretly love the idea of me fucking you like this. Bet it’s all you’ve ever dreamed of.” He continued to taunt, rendering you speechless for the first time ever. As he fucked into your pussy, his hand was ultimately covering your mouth from your loud moans. “As much as I’d love for everyone to know that I’m doing this, I don’t think we need to alert the whole building.” He mumbled through clenched teeth, ultimately shoving two fingers in your mouth in order to muffle everything without having to completely cover half of your face.

“I’m gonna cum soon.” He warned, knowing that just by the feeling of your inner walls spasming and clenching tight around him, you weren’t far behind. “Fuck. What if I fill you up with my cum? Get you pregnant? Then I could have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re never gonna get rid of me. Gonna have my child inside of you, keeping a piece of me right there with you.” His words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let your legs tighten around his waist from his sloppy thrusts. With a rush of white making your body run hot, you were clutching his shoulder as you’d reached your orgasm, the creamy arousal coating his cock as he was giving a few more thrusts before the gush of hot cum was painting your insides.

You were both flushed, beads of sweat on your skin as you stared at one another. Spencer was gently pulling his fingers from your mouth while brushing his hair back with one hand. “Can you stop trying to compete with me now?! I’m so tired of this.” He grumbled, making you scoff weakly as you were closing your eyes to help come down from your post orgasmic high.

“Not if you’re gonna fuck me like that every time I do it. I think we should go play another game.”

[abbyromanoff]

PLEASE BRO IF YOUR DOING REQUESTS,

Can you please do yandere!possessive!gp!valkryie, where her and reader had a huge argument and reader storms out leaving Valkyrie alone. Later coming home Valkyrie rails the shit out of reader in front of a mirror because valkryie followed reader to a bar where she saw a man flirt reader (she OFC kills the dude when he reader leaves.)

PLEASE BRO IVE ASKED SO MANY PPL (no hate to anybody I've asked, I love you all 💞)

GONE, BUT NOT FOR LONG

PAIRINGS: Valkyrie x reader

WORD COUNT: 2,821

WARNINGS: smut, Valkyrie has a dick, blowjobs, cunnilingus, killing, murder, dark!valkyrie, knives, king!valkyrie, fingering, facials, breeding, noncon, jealousy, possessiveness, think that’s all :)

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!

Run. Keep running. That’s all that ran through your mind as you sped away from the large building where you used to sleep peacefully, that was until you found out the truth, until you realized your lover had been lying to you all along.

She was the king, one respected by many, if not all. Citizens trusted her with their lives yet she kept her disguise, taking away the innocence of others as she cut them short of breathing. The man didn’t deserve that, no matter what he did to annoy her, he didn’t deserve to die. He could’ve had a family, children wondering when their dad would come home, only to have him stripped away to never see again.

You always knew Valkyrie had a jealous side to her, some would even call it possessiveness. But you never thought it would go this far.

Earlier on you had planned on surprising the woman at work, hoping she’d still be in her office for lunch instead of skipping like usual. You always warned her of the health concerns that came with ignoring meals, but she never listened, stating she was often times ‘too busy to remember’. And you wished when you entered that was what greeted you, your girlfriend hunched over a pile of papers on her desk, only it was far from that.

When you entered, a small grin on your face and a container in your hands, you were greeted with the sight of Valkyrie holding a knife to a man’s neck who was begging for forgiveness. Your feet planted in your spot as you gasped, mouth falling wide open while the older woman snapped her head in your direction.

“Please-“ The man cried out behind his gag, only to have the sharp object slit his skin open, causing blood to ooze out of his rapidly until he fell limp to the floor.

“Baby? Baby, it’s alright, he was a very, very bad man, okay? He had this coming.” She tried reaching out for you, handing the blade to one of her bodyguards who took it without hesitation, the rest of them already starting to clean up the mess she made. You backed away, wincing from her near touch alone. You knew she loved you and would never hurt you, but what if that changed? What if she did hurt you someday? She often got mad when she was jealous, what if it went so far one day and she tried to hurt you?

“Don’t touch me!” Your eyes were glossed over and she gulped fearfully at the sight, she wasn’t one to be afraid or scared, but knowing she caused those tears was what scared her the most. It scared her of herself, of what she could do.

“It’s me, love, I’m not going to hurt you.” But how could you trust that? How could you trust that she’d keep you safe when she just killed an innocent person right in front of your eyes?

“Look, he- he deserved it! I had to keep you safe-“

“Don’t you dare put this on me, I am not the one who held a knife to his neck and slit his fucking throat! I don’t even know his name, for Christ's sake!” She seemed to be growing more and more agitated as you continued to ignore her words, and chose to believe your own instead. You didn’t understand, you didn’t understand the things she had to do to keep you safe.

“Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I wanted to kill him? No, but I knew he couldn’t roam free after what he did to you, what if he tried on someone else, huh? Would you let him have forgiveness then?” In all honesty, she wanted to do it. She found herself being filled with joy whenever she got to end the life of one of her victims. She had no idea what was wrong with her, she knew it wasn’t normal but she couldn’t stop, it just felt so good.

When there was no response spewing out of your mouth, she decided to take the next step and brought a single foot forward, letting her palms caress your face as she smiled, you didn’t pull away. Although, she noticed the small flinch but chose to ignore it.

“Guards,” She called for the attention of the tall men, all of them turning their heads in her direction. “Please exit the premises, and take the body with you.” They nodded and did as asked without question, you wondered if this was a normal occurrence for them.

“Awh, don’t cry, pretty girl, Daddy didn’t mean to upset you.” She pouted at your frightened expression, chuckling darkly when you sniffled.

“See the things I’d do for my little girl? I’d die for you, I’d kill for you, doesn’t that mean something?” You shook your head rapidly, trying your best to escape her grasp until she wrapped her arms tightly around your waist.

“Don’t think you’re leaving me, sweetheart.” You wiggled around hopelessly, knowing deep down there was no chance in hell you’d disobey her.

“Let me go! Please, Val, please!” She groaned, kissing the side of your neck, even when you tried to hit your head on hers as the only option left.

“Mm, I like it when you beg me, baby. Turns me on so much.” She pulled you in closer by the hips, letting you feel the growing bulge hidden beneath her suit. It stopped you in your tracks, shuddering quietly as she grinded against you.

“I know you’re mad, so why don’t you let me make it up to you, okay? Can I do that?” You shook your head with a whine, feeling your body weaken the more you wasted your energy trying to escape.

“Too bad. You have no idea how I need this, I’ve been so frustrated all week, working nonstop, don’t you want to help Daddy?” Trying to disagree took all the willpower you had left because you knew you wanted it, no matter how much you said you didn’t. You wanted her to fuck you deep and raw, showing no mercy on your weeping cunt. It was as if she could read your mind because she quickly turned you around, pressing your back against her front while her free hand ran down your stomach to your core, letting her fingers dip inside your pants.

“Don’t try and run from me, there’s nowhere you can go.” The only place you ever knew were her arms, and each time you’d come racing into them, desperate for her to have any sense of hold on you. She was captivating your mind with her as her fingers ran across your folds, collecting your slick and creating a shiny glow as she pulled them out to show you.

“I think you’ve been lying to me, sweetheart, I think you like me killing in your favor.” She grinned when you struggled to come up with a response, only shaking your head no in hopes she’d believe it. But, truthfully, you didn’t believe your lie either.

“Every lie you tell me is only going to add to your already long list of punishments. So, tell me, did you like watching me slit his throat? Is that what made you this wet? Hm?” You gave in, accepting your fate as you succumbed to the feeling of her skin rubbing onto yours.

“Yes- I fucking loved it, Val.” She slapped the side of your ass and tsked in disapproval, causing shame to rise in your chest.

“Try again.” She hummed, letting a singular digit prod gently at your hole, teasing you with her soft nature that you knew would soon be replaced by something darker.

“I loved it, Daddy..” You muttered, nearly choking on your breath as she entered you. Before you could even think, a second finger joined, causing you to whimper loudly.

“Gotta stretch you out for my cock, baby.” She stated. “I fuck you every day yet you’re still so damn tight, such a dirty slut you are.” Came her spoken words followed by a deep, hungry groan.

“Just for you, I’m your slut.” You seemed to be chasing for her approval by now, blushing from every noise that left her hot mouth. You’ve always been such a good girl for her, that’s what she adored most about you.

“That’s right. Daddy’s little slut, maybe I should mark you with it so you know just who you belong to.” In an instant you were pushed to your knees, her legs kicking the back of yours and causing you to fall as she finally removed herself from your tight hole. She looked down at you with hunger before you turned to face her, pleading with your eyes only while she stroked your cheek, her slick-covered digits seeping into your mouth as you suckled on them gently.

“Aren’t you adorable?” You nuzzled your face against her crotch where her restricted hard-on poked you. She was teasing you, she knew that.

“You want Daddy’s cock? Yeah? Of course, you do, little bitch.” You lowered her minimal clothing when given permission and gasped when noticing a small wet spot where her pre-cum had leaked. You were practically dripping when she finally freed herself of the uncomfortable gear, sighing with satisfaction as you reached forward to pull down the boxers she adorned, freeing her length to the fresh air. You instantly wrapped your hand around it, letting your lips press against the head repeatedly until you dragged your tongue up and down the skin.

“Oh- fuck! Mhm, just like that, take it, baby.” She tangled her fingers in your hair and thrusted forward while pulling you even closer, chuckling at the sound of your gags bouncing off the walls. Your eyes fluttered shut as you let her take control, moving your palms to fondle her balls.

“This is all your fault, Y/N. If you weren’t so fucking perfect, maybe I wouldn’t have had to hurt him. Maybe if you weren’t so goddamn sexy, you wouldn’t have to be choking on my dick right now.” You didn’t want it any other way, this was truly heaven.

“I’m gonna cum down your throat- shit! You’re gonna swallow it all, right?” You nodded as best as you could with her still in your mouth, watching as she threw her head back before releasing her finish, her juices reaching your tastebuds instantly. She held you in place, forcing you to keep still and follow in on your promise. Droplets tended to dribble down your chin and to your neck, but you refused to let any go to waste.

She pulled out soon after, slapping her length against your face and smothering your skin in her release. You licked your lips and tasted the sweet nectar, eliciting a moan from deep in your chest.

“Get on all fours and face the mirror.” It wasn’t a request as much as it was a demand. In her eyes, you didn’t have a choice, you were to follow her lead and trust her every move, which you found yourself doing over the course of your relationship.

“Good girl, you listen so well.” She kneeled behind you and smacked your ass with force, causing you to wince as your body reacted with only a deeper amount of pleasure.

“Daddy-“ You were cut off with a moan, biting your lip to try and stifle the sound but she still heard.

“Yes, Princess?”

“Do it again…please?” She complied, repeating her action and admiring your ass jiggled in response. She left a kiss to the burning skin and you smiled when she didn’t stop, layering each inch of your body until she reached your hole once again. Her tongue drew circles on your swollen bud before dipping inside of you. Your hands balled into tight fists as you watched your reaction through the mirror, glancing back and forth at your girlfriend's already hardened cock. It was so easy to mess with her, she would fall for anything you did and would give you anything you wanted.

“Taste so good, so perfect.” Slurping sounds came from behind you until she was bringing you to the edge, your body already overstimulated from the previous actions.

Right as you were about to sink into your orgasm, she pulled away, lining her length up with your entrance and using your wetness as a form of lube. Your breath got caught in your throat at the intrusion while her eyes squeezed shut at the feeling of your walls clamping around her tip.

“That feel good? Hm? You like it when I stretch you out just for me?” You nodded while screaming out agreements, the fear of her guards hearing you not even seeming to register like usual as you just focused on her. On how she made you feel. On how she bombarded you with overwhelming excitement by just being her.

“You fit so well around me, it’s like you were made for me.” In her mind and soul, she knew it was true. The moment she met you she knew she had to have you as her own, you were made for her as she was for you. You were hers, every part of you belonged to her and she’d never let you believe otherwise. Either you’d spend your life with her or yours would come to a short, she wouldn’t be able to live knowing you were being loved by another.

“Yes! You fuck me s-so good, I need more, please!” Your breasts bounced with each thrust she sent, now being buried deep inside of you while her pelvis smacked against your backside, creating a loud clapping sound that echoed throughout the room.

“Can’t wait to fill you up with my cum, have you leaking just so I can fuck it back into you.” The image made you shudder, goosebumps traveling down your skin. Her fingers came to wrap around your hair as she yanked hard, her other hand finding place on your waist and holding onto you with a bruising grip.

“You close, princess?”

“Mhm, so close.” You whispered, tossing your head back even further until it laid on her shoulder. Her tits were rested against your back, her swollen nipples poking your skin in a teasing manner.

“Too bad.” You were meeting her thrusts as she continued to quicken, causing you to look sloppy and weak compared to her. Her bulging biceps made way to your vision, and you nearly came just from the sight.

“Please, Daddy, I can’t stop it-“ You were close to breaking her most important rule if she kept denying you. You tried your absolute best, but that’s all you could do.

“I wanna hear you beg for it.”

“I’ll do anything, please, just let me cum. I-l promise I’ll be good- ah! I’m sorry, I c- can’t hold back, Daddy.” She whispered a singular word into your ear and gazed into your eyes through the mirror, watching as your orgasm came crashing down over you. Suddenly, you felt warm liquid releasing deep inside of you, but you were too weak to fight it.

“No-“ Whimpers washed over you before you could push her away, your body becoming limp as your legs shook.

“I’m gonna get you pregnant, baby, that way you can never leave me again.” She licked her lips and caressed your breasts with her palms, tweaking your nipples until she had you crying out.

“Now you’ll be mine forever.”

She let you rest in the bed and when you awoke, you were greeted with nothing but silence. You assumed she was working once again, and instead of being sad, you used that to your advantage. Packing your limited amount of clothes and resources quickly into a bag you planned on leaving, escaping from her wrongful actions and beliefs, and starting a new life of your own, one that would be forced as hidden from the public.

You seemed to be able to sneak past most without them recognizing you or realizing something was wrong. Then, your engine roared as it started and you instantly took off. You hoped Valkyrie hadn’t put a chip in it with how protective she was, but you couldn’t care as you drove far away until you weren’t able to see the Asgardian City sign anymore.

You sighed in relief, thinking you were free. But you didn’t know what was going on back in the large building where your girlfriend sat, watching through the cameras she installed in her vehicle in case something like this ever happened. She smirked, already planning what she was going to do with you in her head.

“Guards,” She started, earning their full attention, “Give them some time to think their free. Then, kidnap them, mask and all. Hopefully, then they’ll see how much they need me to keep them safe.”

[acourtofwhatthefuck]

Coming Home (Part Fifteen)

Azriel x Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine | Part Ten | Part Eleven | Part Twelve | Part Thirteen | Part Fourteen

Warnings: None! Apart from angst, ofc.

⧪

No.

No, no, no. Not now. This couldn’t be happening now.

Nothing existed in your head but screeching, screaming. None of the euphoria that had taken its place there only moments ago. An endless, relentless wind of darkness whipping around your brain and swallowing you up–

Mate. The word was clanging around in there somewhere, a millstone fastening itself around your neck. Not now, not now, not now.

You were winded. Leached of all breath, of all ability to think. Your trembling hands gripped onto the railing behind you – the only thing that stopped your legs from giving out beneath you.

Azriel was staring back at you, his eyes just as wide. But…understanding, it looked like, dawning across his face. Like the fog of a century of confusion was clearing, and things were beginning to make sense, realisation hitting–

You wanted to scream. You may have been screaming, for all you were aware of what was happening inside your head, and outside of it. 

Fate must have been watching from somewhere above, cackling at you. Why now – you wanted to scream at the skies. Why, when–

When you’d already made peace with the fact that you were leaving Velaris again – perhaps never to return. 

When before you’d even arrived at the Starfall celebrations that evening, you’d known this would be your last night here. That you were affording yourself one more night with the family you felt so disconnected from – and then you were out of here.

When you’d already written to Tarquin, informing him of your imminent arrival. 

Fate was definitely laughing at you. Definitely punishing you – perhaps for being the hateful, bitter person that the passing years had moulded you into. Perhaps you deserved this. 

“Y/N.” Azriel’s voice, though quiet as usual, may as well have been a claxon up on that roof. It hurt your ears, your head – your heart. He took a single step towards you. “Y/N.”

You blinked, tears spilling over that you didn’t even realise had formed. You attempted to take a step back – to get away from him – but the cold railing only pressed further against your back. 

“Y/N.” Az repeatedly softly. “You…you’re my–”

“I need to leave.” You choked out; you couldn’t let him say the word. Couldn’t allow him to make it real. You sidestepped him. “I need to go.” 

His beautiful features folded into a frown, lips parting. He reached for you, but not fast enough – you were already pushing past him. “Y/N…what…?”

“I’m leaving.” In great, hurried strides, you’d reached the door to the roof. Az was hot on your trail, his lips speaking words you couldn’t hear beneath the roaring of your mind. Somehow, you managed to force your feet down the stairs, though your legs could buckle at any moment. 

“Where are you going?” Az’s boots thudded closely behind you. “Dammit, Y/N.”

Home – you were going home. Somehow. You had to get out of here, out of the House of Wind, and back to your house – where you were then leave for Adriata. You just needed to find someone–

Cassian. That was who you were looking for. You reached the lower level, not even acknowledging Az following you as you took a sharp turn into the kitchen. It was empty – everyone still out on the main balcony, still going about their celebrations as if the entire world hadn’t just cleaved and shook – except for Cassian fixing himself a drink. You almost cried out in relief. 

“Cas.” You hurried over. “Cassian.” 

The Illyrian general looked up with a smile – that quickly fell as he took in your features, the tears streaming down your cheeks, the undoubtedly shell-shocked expression taking up your face. The stardust smattering your clothes and hair. And then he glanced to Azriel behind you, his gaze flickering between the two of you. Could he sense what had just changed? Scent the…the bond, perhaps–

“Cas, I need you to fly me home. Now.” You breathed, every part of you trembling. 

“What–”

“I can fly you home.” Azriel spoke quietly behind you. He took a step closer. “I – let me take you home.” 

You backed away so fast, you knocked into Cassian, barely registering his warm hands steadying you. “No. No. I want Cassian to take me.” 

Azriel’s face crumpled again. That was a silent plea in his eyes. “Y/N…please…” 

But you were ignoring him. Turning in Cassian’s arms, and hoping that your eyes were communicating the utter desperation you felt. He shot one more look at Az before meeting your gaze, his brow deeply furrowed.

“Please, Cas.” You whispered. “Please just take me home.” 

Tracking a tear that rolled down your cheek, he nodded. “...Okay. Yeah. Of course.”

“The other balcony,” You managed to bite, your hand dragging Cassian towards the glass doors that opened out onto the smaller, unoccupied veranda. Your feet stumbled ungracefully, stalling and tripping every other step, but Cas’s firm grip was enough to keep you upright.

“Y/N.” Azriel followed, bursting so hard through those glass doors, it was a wonder he didn’t smash them. “Just–”

“Leave it, brother.” Cassian said, scooping you into his arms. You could have sobbed in relief. “She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

And then he shot into the skies, Az’s stunned, bewildered figure becoming smaller and smaller as the distance stretched. You clung to Cas with a grip so hard, your nails bit into his skin; you didn’t know if it was the fear of such a height, or just the need to hold on to something that kept you gripping, firmer and firmer. 

Cas didn’t ask questions – he’d always been brilliant like that. Leaving room for you to talk if you wished, but not pushing it. Even though his mind must have been crammed full with questions about what may have happened back there – he didn’t ask. Didn’t even speak. 

He landed just outside your property with feather-light steps, not even giving you room to argue as he pulled you up to the door and walked you inside, his hand a solid grip on your own. Not that you had the capacity, right then, to argue; you were seconds from collapsing, or – something. Hyperventilating. Completely fucking breaking. 

Cas stopped in the doorway, watching you silently – waiting for some kind of indication that you were alright – as you began to pace the floor, rubbing a hand over your chest as if to ease the ache that had gathered there. Maybe you would throw up, right there, over the dress Azriel had bought you. Part of you wanted to rip it off and burn it. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything…” Cas said, inching closer. “But…I’m worried. Are you alright? You don’t look alright.”

No, you wanted to tell him, I’ve never been less alright. The temptation to drop at his feet and sob until you were hoarse was very much present, but – there would be no chance to leave Velaris with him watching over you.

And that was the only thing that could make you feel better. Getting out of here. Leaving it all behind. 

“I’m fine.” You choked; it was laughable how unconvincing it sounded. “You don’t have to stay here. Go back to the party, Cas.” 

He didn’t move. Just continued to eye you warily. “...I don’t want to leave you like this. Did Az–”

“I’m fine, Cassian. I just – I’m just going to go to bed. 

Lies. You were such a pretty, skilled liar. Part of you hated yourself for it – for being deceitful. What if this was the last time you clapped eyes on Cas? The male who had been like a brother to you from the day you were born? What if you never saw him again–

No. You couldn’t start having thoughts like that…thoughts that would talk you out of your decision. Emotions were the last thing you needed to bring into this. You needed to be stoic, unblinking – to convince yourself that you didn’t care. 

“Seriously, Cas. I’m just…I’m exhausted. I need to sleep.” You paused – and then forced another lie that almost wrangled a sob from your throat. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

No, you wouldn’t. And he had no fucking clue. 

“Just…send word…if you need me.” Cassian said. “Whatever it is, I’ll come straight away. Promise me.”

“I promise.” Liar, liar, liar.

He nodded – stiffly, not at all convinced by you. But also not wanting to push you. Never wanting to push you. 

He stepped away, and then turned in the doorway, glancing at you over his shoulder. “I love you, you know, Y/N.” 

Your eyes shuttered. “I love you too, Cas.” And you did. 

But it was much too late for that.

⧪

You gave yourself a total of fifteen minutes to completely lose your shit, to freak out and cry and scream.

And then you pulled the shutters down on your emotions, and you forced yourself into action. 

Glorious Fae magic had meant that most things you planned to take to Adriata with you were already stored into the pocket realm, ready to be retrieved when you got there. You planned only to clean yourself up, and to carry a light change of clothes with you that you could don as soon as you got there. Something far more Summer Court friendly.

It was when you were rifling through your drawers, making sure you’d not left anything behind that you wished to take with you, that you heard the thump. And then the balcony doors opened. 

Azriel burst in, nothing but a night-kissed breeze. You tried to ignore him, to not even acknowledge his arrival, as you continued moving about the room.

But he knew, immediately, what he was witnessing. His brilliant brain caught on in an instant, as he took in the room, lighter of some of your belongings that had been there before. The sight of you shoving that change of clothes into a small, light bag. 

“What are you doing?” His voice was guttural. He stepped further into the room, into your path, when you ignored him. “Y/N?!”

You stepped past him, throwing your earrings – the earrings he had bought you – onto your dresser. “I’m leaving.” 

“What? You’re not…you can’t–”

“It’s not up for discussion, Azriel. I’m leaving. Can you move out of my way, please?”

“No.” He moved into your path, his features crumpling. You could have sworn his voice broke. “You’re not going anywhere. We need to talk–”

“There is nothing to talk about, Azriel. Nothing.” 

You may as well have stabbed him straight through the heart, from the way he looked at you. From the way he fell so terribly still. His throat worked on a swallow.

“You,” He rasped, yanking you closer by the hand. He cupped your face in his palms, his skin icy cold, “You are my mate.”

You grimaced. Felt that horrible, dreadful thing that snaked its way beneath your skin, through your veins, into your bones. A lethal, deadly thing that was both freezing and scorching, empty and suffocating. It was evil, so ruthless and evil–

It was what allowed you to reach up. To grab Azriel by the wrists and prise his hands from you. You stepped away, willing your face into steel. 

“Do not,” You bit harshly – in a voice that didn’t even sound like yours, “touch me.” 

Heartbreaking – so heartbreaking, the way his gaze immediately fell to his scarred hands, as if they were the problem, as if they hadn’t been touching you so gloriously not even an hour before. He studied them, a muscle in his jaw moving, and then he lifted his eyes to yours again. 

Gods, they were haunted. Breaking. You could see it, and you wanted nothing more than to grab him and stop him from falling apart. But…but you were broken, too. You were so fucking broken, and nobody had stopped you from falling apart. 

“I am leaving Velaris.” You croaked. “I’m going to the Summer Court – to Adriata. I’ve already informed Tarquin. I’m leaving.” 

“But why? Why would you–”

“Because I can’t stay here, Azriel!” You snapped. “I can’t stay here and act like everything is fine when I’m falling apart and none of you fucking care!”

“I care about you more than anyone.” 

“You can’t just decide that now because a fucking bond tells you to!” You were shaking, so, so near to trashing the entire room. You shoved past Azriel, began picking up clothes just to give your hands something to do. “I came back here, because I needed my family. Because I was lonely, and hurting, and I thought I might actually find the love here that I yearned for so badly.”

“I know things haven’t been easy–”

“Things have never been easy for me, Azriel. Ever. And every single one of you knows that, but nobody wants to help! And why? Because I’m not like Elain? Because I’m not delicate and soft and sweet? Because I can deal with it on my own, like I always have?!”

“No–”

“Well I haven’t dealt with it, you know.” You whipped around to face him. “I have never dealt with it. Not the trauma my father left me with, or Tamlin’s father, or you playing with my fucking feelings. Not Rhys being disappointed in me, who I’ve become, even if he doesn’t say it outright. I have never dealt with any of those things. I’ve let them fester, and spread, and now I don’t know where one bad thing ends and another begins. I fucking hate myself, Azriel. I hate myself, and I hate my life, and that is why I need to leave.” 

Those broken eyes of his stared at you so thoroughly, so pressingly, it felt like he was undressing you, peeling back every one of your vulnerabilities and leaving you bare, emotionally naked before him. He braced another step towards you.

“Then let me help you.” He whispered. “Please. I know I’ve let you down. I’m so fucking sorry for that. I know I should have been there for you. I know that I was a coward and I should have just faced my feelings instead of mistreating yours. But I want to fix all of that. I want to make this better for you – for us.”

“Why, Az?” You laughed weakly, humourlessly. “Because we’re mates? It’s too late for that.” 

“It can’t be. Y/N, I…I can’t lose you again–”

“I’m not yours to lose!”

He flinched – actually flinched, at your sharp words and cutting tone. The Shadowsinger, Spymaster, a figure of pure, unflinching stone, had become nothing more than a breakable object in front of you.

And you were about to break him.

But he’d broken you first. 

“I can’t–” You swallowed a sob, furiously wiping your eyes. “I can’t give myself to anyone like this. How can I be someone’s mate when I can’t even live with myself? I can’t!”

“I can help you.” Azriel whispered. “I want to help you. I don’t care about anything else.” 

“No, Az. You can’t.” You shook your head. Braved a step closer to him – even though it physically pained you not to reach out and touch him. “It’s something I need to do. It’s something I need you to let me do. I need you to let me go so that I can heal. Because I’m broken…and I cannot even think about accepting this bond while I am.” 

You watched him – your mate – as a tear escaped the corner of his eye, rolling down his cheek. His shoulders had slumped, and you could feel it – his defeat. 

“Az,” You breathed softly. “If…if you care about me…you’ll let me do this. Don’t make it difficult for me. I need to leave. I can’t get better here.” 

His eyes shuttered, sending more tears skittering down his cheeks. So badly, you wanted to reach forward and wipe them away.  But you didn’t. You stood your ground. Squared your shoulders.

Moments passed in silence. Of Az breathing heavily, slowly, like he was trying to calm himself. He pressed his lips tightly together, and you could see him fighting back a huge onslaught of tears. He wouldn’t let himself break right now – before you. 

“Okay.” He eventually rasped. “If it’s what will help you – okay. I won’t stop you.”

“Thank you.” You whispered. 

He cleared his throat – cleared the lump of emotion away. Straightened himself out. “Can I…can I at least winnow you to Adriata? Please?” 

You paused, not having expected him to request that. You supposed you expected him to simply relent, and then to take off into the skies where he would scream at the clouds and the roaring winds. Maybe get drunk on his own and return to the House of Wind once everyone was asleep, not there to witness him breaking apart.

But he wanted as much time with you as he could get.

And you…you were okay with that. Leaving again would be hard, even though it was what you needed more than anything – having him by your side, however briefly, would help. 

So you nodded, brushing past him and reaching for your bag. 

“Yes.” You said. “You can winnow me to Adriata.”

⧪

Even Azriel wasn’t powerful enough to lengthen the process of winnowing – although you sensed he wanted to try.

He didn’t just take hold of your hand, as he normally would for such a venture. He clutched your body to his, his arms snaking around you, his face burying into your hair. 

And then Velaris disappeared from around you. The two of you were dragged into that awful, whipping darkness that existed between one place and another. A darkness that was always a few degrees cooler than everywhere else and always, always so jarring. 

And then you saw it – a pinprick of light that was rapidly growing. You felt heat fanning your face, and you immediately picked up on the smells of balmy air and salt and sea. Even in the very early hours of the morning, Adriata had a brightness about it that was breathtaking. 

You were awed by the sights that you’d turned your back on all those years ago. But Azriel’s body had stiffened against you. 

Tarquin’s sandstone palace loomed over you, beautiful and brilliant in all its Summer Court glory. And there, in the huge, arching doorway, the High Lord stood. 

He was as breathtaking as you remembered. Cutting a casual, easy figure in pale, flowing clothes, the white of his long hair against the rich brown of his skin, and the pale blue of his eyes, had any potential greetings dying in your throat. 

He truly was a vision. A friend.

Azriel sat you down at the steps that led up to the door – but kept an arm around you. Tarquin moved forward, descending the steps with casual grace.

“Welcome back to my home, Lady of the Night.” He greeted you with a bow that he repeated to Azriel. “Shadowsinger – good to see you.” 

“Tarquin.” Was all Azriel offered – that, and a stiff nod. He stared up at the palace as if he couldn’t quite believe he’d gone along with this. As if he was considering taking you and winnowing straight back out of there.

You slid out from under his arm, turning to face him with a knot in your stomach. 

“I don’t want to go.” He whispered, brushing his fingers over yours. 

Tarquin had the good sense to look away and feign interest in a crack in the wall.

“I know.” You murmured back. “But I need this, Az. This – this will be good for me.” 

Tarquin cleared his throat. “She’ll be well looked after here. I’ll see to it myself.” 

Azriel glanced at him sharply, clearly reading a meaning behind the High Lord’s words that wasn’t there – and he growled. You placed a hand on Az’s chest, forcing his eyes back to yours. 

“Please Az.” You pleaded quietly. “Let me go…for now.”

He swallowed hard. “Can I at least write to you?” 

“I just...I just need some time. Give me some time, some space, and when I’m ready to talk, I’ll write to you.” 

He paused – and then gave a relenting nod. What other choice did he have? The whole point of this was for time, for space. 

At least he was trying to understand that. 

“If you…” He cleared his throat, “If at any point you want to come home, just send word. I’ll be here right away.” 

“I know you will, Az.” 

And then he just stood, staring at you, clearly not wanting to take that leap and leave. And it would have been so easy to grab hold of his hand and beg him to stay with you. So, so easy – but not good for you. 

“I’ll be waiting to hear from you.” He leaned in. “Whenever you’re ready.”

He leaned down, brushing his lips over your cheeks and your forehead in such light, gentle kisses. And then he stood back.

And then he was gone. A shadow splintering into nothing before you.

You gritted your teeth. Told yourself not to cry. You felt the warm touch of Tarquin’s hand on your arm.

“Come, friend.” He said gently. “Let’s get you settled in.” 

⧪

Az flew and flew until he could fly no more. Until he was exhausted, his wings begging for a break. Until he’d screamed so much, he’d nearly lost his voice, and the wind had dried the streaks of tears on his tanned face. 

It felt like it could have been anywhere between hours or days, just circling the skies and forcing himself to feel. To hurt. To recognise the consequences he now had to live with.

You were gone. And there was nothing he could do but let it be. To put you before everything and everyone else. 

The sun had risen over Velaris by the time he could no longer keep himself aloft. The Inner Circle would still be at the House of Wind – either soaking up a night of drinking with breakfast, or heading to bed for some much needed rest. 

Az could have done the sensible thing and gone for a walk, cooled himself off. He could have kept his mouth shut and wallowed in his pain alone. 

But then he was coming to a staggered stop on one of the balconies, and he realised – he couldn’t. He couldn’t leave this alone, even if he wanted to.

A feral anger was growing inside of him. And he needed an outlet. 

He kicked his way through the halls of the house. The combination of different voices coming from the sitting room told him that nobody was in bed yet. 

He’d have an audience, then.

Fine. That was fine. 

The doors to the sitting room were wide open, and they were all in there – Rhys and Feyre, Cassian and Nesta, Mor and Amren…even Elain was tucked into one of the armchairs, a soft laugh escaping her in response to something Cassian had said. 

Az’s boots thudded against the floor, announcing his presence as he approached the room and stepped inside. Everyone looked up.

“Where did you get to?” Mor was the first to speak, sitting up. “Cas said he flew Y/N home because she was tired, but you were gone, too.” 

Azriel may as well have not heard her, for all he acknowledged her. No – he stared at Rhys, and Rhys only. Stepped closer. 

It took seconds for them all to catch on to something being…wrong. That look in Azriel’s eyes…the fury–

“What’s the matter, Az?” Rhys frowned, an arm casually slung around Feyre’s shoulders. “Why are you–” He paused as Az stopped before him, his nostrils flaring. “You smell…different.” 

Az laughed, the sound dark, chilling – void of any humour. “Oh? What do I smell of, Rhys?”

“...Not sure…” The High Lord hummed, rising from the settee. He appraised the spymaster, eyes narrowed. “It’s like–”

“A mating bond, is what it is.” He snapped. “A fucking mating bond. That’s what you can smell.” 

The room fell so very, very still. Even the birds outside seemed to stop singing. Seven pairs of eyes blinked at the Shadowsinger. Not one pair of lips moved. 

So fucking typical, Azriel thought, that not one of them clocked it immediately. Because they wouldn’t automatically assume you to be his mate. Because they treated you like you were nothing, unworthy. 

“My mate,” Az growled, stepping closer to Rhys, “Is gone. Because of you.”

His hands shoved against Rhys’s chest before he could stop himself. Rhys barely budged, but his violet eyes flashed with feral challenge. 

“I suggest you calm down, brother,” He said carefully – his High Lord voice, “And tell me what the hell is going on.” 

Cassian had stood slowly from his seat, inching subtly towards the two males. He stopped just beside them, ready to jump in. 

“Use your fucking brain, Rhysand.” Azriel snapped. “Look around this room, and work out who’s missing, and use your fucking brain.” 

Somewhere – somewhere, there was a light, feminine gasp. One of the five females had worked it out. Probably Mor. Maybe Feyre. 

“You–” Rhys breathed. “My sister–”

“Is my mate, yes.” Az stepped closer again – shoved Cassian’s arm out of the way. “And she’s gone. Left again. Because of how she was treated here.” 

“Take it easy, Az.” Cassian warned quietly. “Hands to yourself.”

It seemed that neither of the other two males heard him. Azriel was huffing breaths now, trembling with utter rage. And Rhys…Rhys blinked–

“What do you mean she left again?” Rhys stepped forward, trying to push past both of them. “Where is she?” 

Azriel stepped in front of him, his shoulder knocking into his. “Summer Court. Said she had to go there because she couldn’t be here anymore. She thinks you’re disappointed in her – that you’re ashamed of her. And she totally fucking hates herself, and every single one of us is to blame. But you, Rhys? You more than anybody.”

Soft, delicate fingers brushed Az’s hand. Elain gazed up at him, worry in those brown eyes. “Azriel–”

“Do not touch me, Elain,” He ripped away. “Don’t you dare.” 

Cassian was in front of him in a second, gently pushing against his chest. “That’s enough, Az. You’re tired and upset – you need to calm down.” 

“I need my mate, Cassian!” 

The stark, pained crack in his voice was jarring. So rare, for any of them to see such a raw display of emotion on his face and in the coiled tension of his body.

None of them knew what to do. How to approach him. How to help him.

Cassian squeezed his shoulder gently. “Just…get some sleep, Az. We’ll talk when we’ve all had some sleep.” 

Not a bad idea – but how was he supposed to sleep with this gnawing, churning pain ripping him apart? When Rhys was just stood there, blinking into space, absolutely fucking useless. 

“She needed us. All of us.” Az said to him through gritted teeth. “But you more than anyone, Rhys. And you neglected her. I don’t blame her for wanting to get away from here. Not one bit.”

Cassian was tugging on him, trying and failing to drag him away. Speaking soothing words into his ear that Az couldn’t even hear over the roaring in his mind. 

“Az…” Rhys finally whispered, his own eyes glistening with tears. “I–”

“Hope you’re happy with yourself, brother.” Az cut him off.

There was a collective gasp of shock as the Shadowsinger’s fist went flying into the High Lord’s face. 

By no means the first time Az had punched Rhys – it was part and parcel of being Fae, ingrained in them to hash things out with fists until the matter was settled and they were friends once more.

But this punch was different. One of a truly hurt, crumbling, heartbroken male. The force behind it had split Rhys’s lip open.

Before anyone could say or do anything else – try to diffuse the situation or drag Azriel away – he turned and stalked from the room himself. His footsteps pounded up the stairs, down the hall.

Only when he was shut in his bedroom did he truly cry and break for his mate. 

Even his shadows didn’t bother him. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tags: @theravenphoenix26 @safetypinxtales @historygeekqueen @smartiepants217 @mulansaucey @kennedy-brooke @highladyofillyria @issybee0611 @goldentournesol @percyjacksonspeen @high-bi-andreadytocry @esposadomd @positivewitch @bsenpai @cityofidek @shannonsaid @topaz125 @azzydaddy @nobody00sthings @sfhsgrad-blog @elizarikaallen @hanasakr @ruleroftides @mis-lil-red @reiincarnatiion @moonfawnx @new-adventures-everyday @davinaclaire16 @i-am-fascinated @lucyysthings @margssstuff @magneticforceofaswifty @xxoverthinkerxx @marigold-morelli @owllover123 @vera0124 @thewarriormoon @the-book-gnome @favoritecrime1 @pricklepearbloom @icantthinkofanythingplease @ilovespideyyy @kitty-kait @hwas-housewife @localhopedealerr @magical-mischief-makers @holywolfsstuff @grungy-blue-hipster

[yandere-wishes]

Okay so not an ask more of a Headcanon based on observation and the character he is based on, but I see Honest Fellow as someone who would both idolize/emulate and resent the rich. By his design his clothes, while they pay homage to Honest John with the patchwork pantleg and the misding pinky tip on his one glove seem very well-kempt, on top of that his hat and cane are practically emaculate that cane alone couldn't have been cheap though I wouldn't put it passed the sly fox man to have either swindled someone out of it or stole it from them outright. Point is I'm getting wants to be a rich man but hates the rich people vibes.

All of that is set-up for my headcanon that if he ever had a S/O you can bet he would get them jewelry and expensive clothes. Basically just adorn them in finery he had acquired through whatever means (cough, likely stolen or purchased with dirty money, cough) and proudly have them stand by his side. The thought to use them as a pretty little lure to catch even bigger fish might cross his mind, but I doubt he'd ever use them like that. Personally, I feel like he'd be to possessive to do that even if his darling wanted to help like that, after all what if he let's them go off alone and someone tries to take advantage of his poor darling? He doesn't think they're weak or foolish per say but who could protect them better than him? I think he'd have a difficult time even leaving them alone with Gidelle (only 90 percent sure I got that right), of course he trusts Gidelle, well as much as he can truly trust anyone anyway, but he's the brains of the outfit and unless he's personally by his darlings side he won't ever be truly assured something won't go wrong.

Let's say that darling isn't quite so understanding or compliant, his possessive side would certainly get worse. He can't leave them alone for one second qhat if they try and sneak off. Perhaps to save his pride he'd be a bit delusional, they're just a sweet little naive skittish thing that doesn't know any better, possibly they've never known a love as deep and unshakable as his, it's only natural there would be a learning curve for them and who better than he to teach them? I highly doubt he'd ever use physical punishments on his darling, probably doesnt like punishing them as he thinks they are just still learning, but that doesn't mean he won't find other ways to punish them if necessary. I do think if they actively tried to run he wouldn't waste a minute getting something along the lines of a necklace with a chain, something fashionable but functional as a reminder while they're learning, if that reminder isn't enough though he might go for a bejeweled pet collar and leash. If all else fails isolation in a secure location with him as their only source of human, or well beastman, contact would certainly allow them to see how much they needed each other. Whatever he has to do to make them understand it'll all be worth it later once they're settled and he can spoil them like they deserve.

TLDR: Honest Fellow would love to lavish his S/O in (possibly ill-gotten) finery and would actively and proudly show them off on his arm. Everyone can look and admire, but only he is allowed to touch.

This has got to be the most effort anyone has ever put into something they sent in my ask box!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

Okay so right off the bat let me say that YES!! This is canon I don't care what anyone says.

I can see him as "wanting what they have" but "not wanting to be them". Essentially he wants the ability to give his darling the best of everything. Yet still ultimately preserving his own "personality". Like you said Fellow hates the rich. They're insufferable, self-absorbed and loathsome, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't crave the glitz and glammer.

Now I can kinda see Fellow only really interacting with his darling at first to use her as bait. Winning her over with expensive gifts and pretty cloths (all from dirty money ofc) and sure darling does start to fall for his tricks. But here's the thing, the moment his darling begins to show the tinest interest in him Fellow FALLS HARDER!! All of a sudden he doesn't want ANYONE near his darling! Just him only him. Sooner or later his darling will start to feel suffocated, she'll be desperate to get away from him. Forsaking the pretty presents and charming "boyfriend" for just a moment of freedom. But Fellow's a sly fox, always one step ahead. He knows how to ensnare his darling before she's even run away.

Overall Fellow will lavish you, treat you like a queen, getting you anything you desire (through underhanded means) but you'll never be allowed to leave him. Forever trapped by his side on the island of pleasure…

Quick question is Fellow meant to be the same age as the third years or is he older??

[iheart-alastor]

how about some alastor angst (with tears hehehe)?

I've had this idea brewing in my head for ages so you asking gave me a great opportunity to write it

Alastor x Reader

No pronouns used as per

' ' means thinking

Warnings: Ooc alastor, mentions of alastors mother

Angst, fluff

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

It was a normal day in the hotel everyone was calm minding their business doing what they had to do apart from alastor and Lucifer. Ofc it was them two out of all the people they was creating drama, you may of overheard their conversation while pretending to read your book Alastor ofc had to bring up Lilith Leaving Lucifer.. So Lucifer snapped back "Oh shut the fuck up you asshole, I bet your mother wouldn't like her son talking shit about people I bet she'd hate you the woman would disown you if she could see how your acting right now" the room went silent the silence was LOUD you looked over to alastor who had strained his grin and his grip on the microphone before disappearing probably to his room. "Lucifer That was so uncalled for!" You shouted at the man breaking the silence "Yea dad. That wasn't nice" Charlie said adding onto your statement Lucifer scoffed and sat down besides you "He got what he deserved talking shit about my wife like that!" He said while fiddling with his ring till you hit him in the shoulder a loud ow came out of Lucifer before you stood up placing your book on the table besides the radio. "Look I'm going to go check on alastor okay?" You began to stride up the stairs heading to alastors bedroom to see if he was okay.

~~~

When you got there you knocked 3 times you put your ear up to the door to hear a loud static sound "Alastor can I come in?" You asked quietly you waited at the door hearing the static sound fade until alastor opened the door with a strained smile "what is it you want dear I am not in the mood right now" he asked trying to sound polite although a hint of annoyance was in his tone "Look al I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Can I come in?" The deer man sighed and clenched his cane harder "Dearest I do not see why you think I aren't okay I'm perfectly fine" he said trying to make you drop the subject as he opened the door wider for you to enter his room "Alastor you aren't okay it's obvious I know how you miss your mother and him saying that was totally uncalled for, I'll get him to apologize later I just want to make sure your okay first if you want we could talk about it? " getting to the point of the reason you was there surprised him 'why did you care so much?' Alastors static rose again before he pulled you into a hug burying his head into your neck you noticed how his ears twisted back to nuzzle into his hair how cute. You patted his back while your one hand ran through his hair combing it with your fingers, you felt your neck get wet. 'Was he crying?' You wiped his cheek with your thumb wiping away the tears on his face you thought to yourself of how much alastor must of trusted you to be that emotional with you. None of you said a word you was both silent the only sound was the static in his voice and the radio playing in the background. You suddenly felt yourself being picked up before being put on a velvet covered bed alastor was still hugging you and he was still smiling "oh dear how long I've wanted to let out my emotions" he said quietly breaking the silence as a small giggle came out of you alastors static rose sounding almost like a purr while u continued to play with his hair the both of your legs entangled as you both dozed off

✼ •• ┈┈┈┈๑⋅⋯ ୨˚୧ ⋯⋅๑┈┈┈┈ •• ✼

Stop that was so cute 😭

*angel dust sneaking into the room to mug you both off before running away laughing ready to blackmail you with the photo the next day*🌚

[goldennightengale]

Hello there! Here's my request for the day, could I have the Dorm Leaders hearing their female musician s/o sing a love song dedicated to them at VDC? As an added bonus, everyone (including their families) saw her performance and really liked it.

AAA I loved writing this so much!! I always have songs I assign to the boys going through my head all the time so this was so much fun writing! I hope you enjoy it~ -GN

Warnings: N/A

Fem! MC

A Song for Your Love

Riddle Rosehearts (Sombody to Hold My Heart - Lindsey Sterling)

When I tell you this man was flustered when you pointed him out in the crowd. Not only was your song full of love and energy, but all of your attention was on him, laser-focused on his face in the roaring crowd as you danced and sang across the stage like a professional. He’s the type to try and show his affection through actions instead of words, so expect a lot of flowers, gifts, and lots of hand-holding!

What made it even worse was he knew this was being broadcasted. Though he felt horrified by the thought of his mother watching you perform, specifically with him in mind, he was quickly reassured that she was more than amused by your eccentric proclaims of affection. She appreciates a confident woman speaking her mind, especially towards her son.

Leona Kingscholar (Lazy Love - Chloe X Halle)

Smug Bastard x100 He’s making that concert seat look like a throne with how confident he looks, knowing full well that you are talking about him. Nobody else in the thousands seated near him. (Don’t mention how he might have a slight ego about being the second prince, he can’t give you the throne you deserve but he can give himself to you instead. Knowing you return the gesture makes him unreasonably happy)

Forgot it was being broadcasted until he got a facetime call from his brother congratulating him on having a mate of his very own, especially one so talented! Cheka starts begging him to bring you back to the palace and Leona hangs up before he can get the waterworks going. 

Azul Ashengrotto (Cariño - The Marías)

Stuck between stunned, smug, and highly embarrassed. He has this goofy smile as he watches you strut across the stage, occasionally ducking his face into his hands when you purr the lyrics into the mic and wink at him in the crowd.

His mama went NUTS when she caught her guppy getting serenaded on live broadcast and demanded that he bring you home. She wants to meet the gal who made her baby smile like that!

Kalim Al-Asim (What is Love? - Jonelle Monáe)

Your hype man. He’s jumping, dancing, screaming your name, and “I love you”s as you perform. Jamil tries to get him to calm down but how could he when you look like the brightest star in the desert sky? His Jewel has talent!

His father was laughing so loudly when he called, delighted with his son’s choice in love. Immediately offered to build you a personal stadium in return for you (marrying his son) performing for the entire Al-Asim family.

Vil Shoenheit (Only Girl (In the World) - Rihanna)

Smug x100 pt. 2, He is preening under the spotlight of your affections and, while he may be judging your routine (lovingly ofc), he genuinely likes how you make it clear to others that he chose you above everyone else. Though he does question if you have a death sentence announcing your relationship so boisterously.

His father loved your performance! Bold and confident, you really must have what it takes to make his son fall so hard for you. While he may not be at the front of the musical entertainment business, he’d be willing to get you some connections if you ever decide to pursue music in the field.

Idia Shroud (Icarus - Grant Knoche)

Hates the attention but melts under your loving stare, completely enraptured by your declaration of love and the thought that you did all this for him. Is 100% recording everything so he can rewatch it over and over again late at night and squeal like a fangirl in the privacy of his room.

His parents teased him relentlessly for finally getting a girlfriend, calling you his Pomegranate, and begging him to bring you home so they can meet you properly. Your references to a well-known myth are not lost on them, and the dedication to get close knowing the potential to get hurt is more than enough to get their trust. His hair is pink by the end of the call but you can tell he’s really happy they like you.

Malleus Draconia (Sunset - Caroline Polachek)

Smug x100 pt. 3, because not only did you invite him to this whole ordeal, but you were performing for him and admitting how much you felt about him in front of such a large crowd. Is not aware of your performance being broadcasted, but knowing that everyone will know who you chose as a mate is more than enough to get him all smug again.

Oh, his grandmother is more than pleased that her grandson found someone so wonderful to rule beside him.  The trust you put in him, the clear admittance that you see him as a safe place, it's all proof to the reigning Queen. She’s heard a lot about you from Lilia so it only makes sense for you to visit Briar Valley to make your engagement official, no?

I know this was very short but I hope I fulfilled your wish! -GN

[lovl3igh]

alicent as a mother is always so intensive subject, cause where tg refuse to admit that alicent was a bad mother, tb don't give her justice in reasons why that happened (it's not general, both teams has exceptions ofc)

tg defend her saying it's not her fault, she was used, she didn't want those children, they forced her, but was it said otherwise? yes, she was bad mother because of her own trauma and assault she experienced but she was still a bad mother. having an "excuse" don't change that

and not every time that someone said she is not a good parent, they need to add why. no need for assuming that person who says it, doesn't know the reasons. they can say why alicent became bad parent or the way alicent shows bad parenting or that she is just that, bad mother, they can say all of it or just one thing. all of that coexists

before I'll start: there's most stuff from the show, but there's book spoilers, maybe that will be also show cannon in the future, I dunno, sorry for mistakes, english is not my first language

we have evidence of her being basically sold by her father, sa'd by viserys, forced to birth one child by another. she was motherless child forced to becoming a mother before she was ready. she was not a fan of her children, we see her unhappy with them, and when she speaks it's about dry facts like the labour and not her feelings. she does not care for them that way, which is fine bc she not wished for them and she's still a child herself, but that's a fact

we see her later with her kids and again we cannot say she became better while becoming older. she sees them as her duty (her worst enemy), her responsibility and also (admit it or not) way to put rhaenyra down. otto said to her way before jace was born that he wants aegon on the throne, he already could be accused of treason but alicent remained silent and later she acts the same way. she puts on aegon big pressure, responsibilities and also involves him in act of treason (because again she thinks it's her duty to the realm)

what's more she abuses him physically and mentally. we see her beating him more than once, screaming or neglacting him (all of that are forms of abuse). blames him for aemond's losing an eye while it was her responsibility to watch her kid or a servant and guards', not his (you can say also viserys', there was never a dispute if he's a good father, we know he isn't, it's about alicent only discussion then)

aegon in his 20s has to ask his mother if he's being loved, how sick is that? that he drowns in need of attention? (you can say he deserves all of this but the truth is alicent - and viserys ofc - failed to raise him well and now she fails to punish him, cause he should be sent to the wall, instead she beats him and let's him be a monster to another girl, now as a "king". all not to protect him but to protect his reputation, all she does there is bc of her sense of duty)

helaena hates being touched by her own mother, why wouldn't she? child bride alicent did the same to her daughter, knowing what a menace her son is. she does not understand haelena, she forces her to early marriage, childbirting, unhappy life. (and be fr, haelena might not like touching generally but 1. it's speaks even worse about alicent who touches her againts her will and married her to sexual predator, 2. she didn't mind being touched by jace who not really knowing his aunt was far more gentle)

absence of daeron would say more about their relation if not for long time skips, the truth is sending away little child is a form of neglacting however we do not know if they were in touch and how often. i know it's a common practise, i am glad that baela was at least sent to her loving grandmother in her later childhood, but I still do not like the whole ward thing and i won't comment on it in daeron's case, cause we did not see it here how was it done

I will speak about aemond x alicent relation though which is by far the most interesting. he is the only one we can say that he loves his mother and cares for her which doesn't automatically means she was a good mother for him. for the dynamic he observes alicent needs protection from men around her (rightfully so) and decides to lie to the king to protect her. not only he usually lives meeting her expectations (ekhem ekhem not anymore ig) but can initiate his actions to please her even if that means he'll go against his own wishes (searching for aegon to make him a king)

the fact is he was much miserable for not having dragons AND for being bullied. yet two things we have: first alicent as queen could easily arrange aemond going to dragonstone to claim dragon or take rhaenyra's deal to have syrax's egg. second - she blames velaryon boys as if she wasn't the one who destroyed good relations between kids and as if aegon weren't bellwether for bullying actions (YES, JACE AND LUKE ARE GUILTY TOO, but we discuss here alicent dynamics with her kids, so I point her fault right now) and she raised one child to bully others, his own siblings

then we have the children's fight and aemond loses his eyes. one of the best scene when alicent attacks rhaenyra, 10/10 love everything here. that's gonna sound harsh but alicent's behaviour here screams about duty too. it shouldn't at all, her child just lost his eye, her priority should be to comfort him. instead she wants rhaenyra to take responsibility for having bastards (that's not the case), aegon for not taking care of aemond (it's her responsibility), viserys to admitting her own sacrifices weren't for nothing. she put here herself and her needs above aemond, she used his wounds to attack rhaenyra and her children (no, I do not say she didn't care aemond got hurt, don't put words in my mouth)

"if the king won’t seek justice the queen will" she wants so called "justice", but stated by her only, where's justice in taking child's eye after accident? would she also break aemond nose for "justice"? if he'd killed luke or jace, would she call for killing aemond? it's not caring mother, it's the queen wanting revenge cause she doesn't like princess' privileges (and also privilege that bastards here have). she calms down when she realizes that she went too far, "neglected her duty", that's not aemond's doing (and also fcked up that her assaulted child feels that he needs to calm her down)

"she was ready to die for her children" desperate actions in the worst scenarios to not matter that much with previous behaviour, especially since her children were doubting if she would do that for them in the first place (that ig you can take as opinion, but if mother abuses child for years how much does it counts if she gives up her life for this child?)

regarding rhaenyra she doesn't understand a good mother patterns as well. she either doesn't care nyra will suffer or doesn't understand that mother who just gave a birth to a child, will not send it away even for a second. she doesn't care or understand mother will not allow for taking her child's eye for "duty". she doesn't understand that bastards are not any less worthy of love. her view of motherhood is sacrifising herself, not enjoying what she can

perhaps she did not know any better, her mother was a child bride (forced by old pedo otto) just like her, she did the same to helaena and unfortunately later that happened to jaehaera. she was abused in many ways but later also became an abuser. and all that because she thought life is about duty and sacrifice. she had every reason to be bad mother and she became one but that it should be seen as a fact while some of you see it as an opinion and criticism

if you read all of that - seven hells okay

[sweetlypunk]

OUTLAWS X READER Headcanons

this for that poll I did and Jason Todd headcanons won, but with a twist. Just writing something to cheer me up after someone made me cry:

i don’t have the money to read all the comics so pls bare with me and my knowledge exclusive from social media and dc pages that need better summary.

• Reader has Scarlet witch like powers. (Wanda in DC lmao)

• you trained with Constantine for a few years, until you met Jason and joined his emo group

• It’s more like a team with Roy and Jason but ofc pairing up with the iconic group from time to time

• Everyone is helplessly in love with you, but in different ways.

• You were kind to Bizarro from moment one, never making him feel like a monster. you have used your powers to soothe his mind, which he appreciates

• “you’re so ugly” “you don’t look like a princess”

• “aw Bizarro, you are too nice”

• you bought him a Black Canary vinyl, and he declared his love for you right then and there

• Artemis and you might have had a rough start, but eventually became close, too close

• You helped her see her strength in her own inside war

• She respects strong women, and knows one when she sees her. So she had a great respect for you, as you for her.

• eventually she might have had a small crush on you, though crushes are not her thing.

• you guys complain about the guys way too much (And you love it)

• Pls Roy thinks you are hot and that’s enough for him to love you.

• though you are pretty cool too. (And he’s aware of the fact that you can easily kill him)

• you both enjoy listening to punk bands and feel like rebel kids. Is fun.

• you also mock Jay together, he hates it.

• Roy and Artemis have gotten into fights while pulling you to each of their sides because of who should be the one to take you out

• “I’m the hottest redhead” “you’re the dumbest redhead”

• “Jason is also a redhead..?” “He is a fake redhead. He doesn’t deserve you”

• Jokes on them, while they keep fighting you are glancing towards Jason, who is just sitting with his legs propped up on a table, reading away

• he looks cute.

• but don’t tell him.

• honestly, you don’t know what’s going on with Jason. You are attracted to him, and you know he is towards you too.

• he is just so complicated

• sometimes the burning sensation of the Lazarus Pit gets the best of him and he loses it, his anger taking control. Luckily you are always there for him.

• your magic soothes him and helps him compose himself.

• you stay with your foreheads touching while you match your breathing. Waiting for him to take control over on his own.

• Sometimes just your touch, w/o magic, is enough to calm him. That sweet reminder that not every touch from a foreign skin on his means pain.

• the only pain you could ever cause him is in his heart.

• but he won’t tell you that. (Or to himself)

• you actually met when he was Robin, but you were a civilian, and neither of you recall much. You more than him though.

• someone once called you wannabes Justice Leaguers, You all showed your appreciation for the comment <3 🔪

• most of the justice league either doesn’t know about you, or are too scared to come close. Your ex-mentors love u tho (supes is another story, kay?)

• you all are just fun, traumatized friends hanging out

• they are your found family, and you wouldn’t change them for anything <3

[neocoffeecafe]

Perv!Yangyang headcannons?? (only if ur comfortable ofc ! <3)

yangyang perv headcannons (m) | home | writing masterlist | fic rec library

includes/warnings mainly perverted and gross stuff!!!

a/n AHH anon the things you have done to my brain!!! i hate u (respectfully) but the way i am gnawing on my desk anon u deserve a promotion

starer

he is ALWAYS staring at you. he never keeps his little pretty eyes off of you. his heart rate always goes up when you catch him staring, going to the lengths of turning his head away quickly, like he never was even staring in the first place.

snapchat secrets

he has some VERY spicy pictures of you, including lingerie pics, nude pics, swimsuit pics… you name it. he stores these pictures in secret places, like his hidden folder on his phone, or his “my eyes only” folder in snapchat, or even in a secret folder on his laptop. but he won’t let you see them.

panty snatcher

to play with or when he’s lonely, needing you or his pants feel too tight, he always has a pair of your underwear with him. his favorites are ones that he has came on, or ones you wore the last time you had sex. he pretends to be surprised when you tell him about another missing panty.

dirty laundry

he likes playing with said underwear, releasing in it, folding it back up in a dainty little fold and placing it back in your drawer to wear. he plays dumb when you mention the dryer may not be working well anymore.

needy

he ALWAYS wants to fuck. in the car, at the movies, under the dinner table… he is always trying to get his filthy little fingers in your pants. he dosent even care if you are on your period, he will put a plastic sheet on the bed.

clouded mind

he is always thinking about you to the point where it can be considered unhealthy. he wants to know what you’re doing. where you are. what you’re wearing. he has to know.

grabby

his hands are always on you, especially in public (bonus points for wearing something short and revealing). you could be sitting next to him on a bench and his hand will be wrapped around your thigh. he’s not too adventurous in public, usually keeping his hands on your thighs or waist, but that wont keep him from exploring.

sugar daddy

he dosent do it often, but every once in a while he will buy you the most dangerous lingerie, have you take photoshoots in it just so he can set them as his wallpaper. and for him to enjoy later, too.

@neocoffeecafe

[1427]

When the Levee Breaks (pt. 5)

Daryl Dixon x OFC

Story Summary: The one in which a stripper that used to know Merle and Daryl shows up at the Atlanta camp. Daryl’s feelings are complicated but mostly he hates her, right?

Chapt Setting: The Farm/Woods

Chapt Warnings: pretty explicit drug use (meth), season 2 Daryl, degrading/sexist language (he’s starting to get better lol), SOPHIA CHAPTER (I think that deserves a warning)

Word Count: 2.7k

A/N: Daryl’s POV story. Daryl’s starting to be less of a dick, trying really hard to make it feel organic/make it make sense in the story. Idk. This chapter was really rough to write because… it made me sad. Also have no idea if it even makes sense (the hallucination bit, really hope it does) lol ALSO; I looked up some timeline stuff and i just?? Really thought Daryl was out there for days on his own? But apparently he wasn’t? We’re just gonna say that he is in this story. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I can only do so much when the timeline of TWD is fucking stupid sometimes. (I mean it. Come for me. Idc. Rick was in a coma for 59 days without food or water???!?!!!? Bye)

masterlist

17+ mdni (no smut in this one tho sorry)

Like fiberglass in my veins, it tears through me. Mellow, at first, almost think I should rail more before I can feel myself sweatin’. Different kinda sweat, comin’ from my fuckin’ soul. 

Haven’t felt like I was doin’ something ‘wrong’ since I was little. That feeling that ch’ya get when you’re doin’ somethin’ ya know you’re not s’possed to. This ain’t the first time I done spazz, but maybe it’ll be the last. The anxiety about doin’ it goes away the second I feel the devil kick me through my nose to the back of my brain. Even though I know it’s comin’, it always feels like gettin’ skullfucked by satan. 

Been out here for a day. I brought Merle’s shit with me because I decided to finally get rid of it somewhere. But I got somethin’ that needs doin’. And anyway, I got years of experience with ice. Not doin’ it. Sometimes doin’ it. Never let Merle know, he’d’ve made some big whoop ‘bout it. And everytime he’d gone and done more than he remembered, he woulda blamed me. Shit though, sometimes it was. 

M’not like Merle and Beatle. Ain’t an addict. Can do shit and put it down. Always been able to put it down. Figured other people could too, that they just didn’t wanna. ‘m not sure, but still kinda think that. 

Never felt fuckin’ guilty about it before, though. Fuckin’ Beatle. I’unno if it’s cuz I’d be done with her if she did the same shit, or if it’s cuz I know if she knew that I was - she’d be mad at me. Mad I didn’t invite ‘er. 

But this shit ain’t for fuckin’ playtime. Only reason ‘m even doin’ it i’so I can find Sophia. So I can stay awake, focus, and get ‘er back. They use ta use this shit in war. War’s the reason methamphetamines even exist. Nazi’s? Hell, every single one of ‘em in WWII. Kamikazi’s loaded up, totally fuckin’ wasted outta their minds on crystal while they bolted ‘em in. Kept ‘em awake, kept ‘em happy, kept ‘em focused on the mission. Tha’s what I gotta do. 

I can’t stop lookin’ til I find ‘er. Sophia. ‘m the only one that can, only one that knows how. And anymore, ‘m the only one that seems to give a shit. ‘Sides Carol. And Beatle. She wanted ta come. Told her she’d only slow me down. Distract me. Drawn more geeks. She woulda. Told her I didn’t need food either but she packed me some anyway. Knew I wasn’t gonna be hungry. Knew I was gonna use this dumb shit to help. But whatever. 

Doesn’t matter what happens to me, right? My life’s not worth nothin’, not compared to that little girl. Now that her old man’s outta the picture she actually got a chance. Maybe not mucha one, not the way shit is these days. But she got ‘er mom. And ‘er mom can actually be ‘er mom now. Not scared of some piece’a shit prick that finally got what was comin’ to ‘im. 

Man fuck that guy.

The trail I’m followin’ disappears so I backtrack to the mangroves where I found her doll and try to find another one. 

I start to wonder what kinda old man Beatle had. What kinda mom? Startin’ ta realize I don’t know a damn thing about Beatle. I know she likes drinkin’, she likes laughin’, she likes fuckin’ with me. But… 

Beatle keeps surprisin’ me. Not just because she let me hump her face a few days ago, the fact that she liked it, shit I haven’t even had a second to process that. Nah, more cuz she hasn’t brought it up. Hasn’t tried to hold my hand again. Hasn’t been annoyin’ me nearly as much. Not even at all, if ‘m honest. 

My brain’s goin’ a million miles a fuckin’ second over Beatle and what happened between us. Not just the other night, but back then. Got questions that need answerin’ but she ain’t here. Try to keep myself occupied with trackin’ but it ain’t like trackin’ takes much thinkin’. Follow every trail I pick up, but none of ‘em lead me to Sophia. 

I’d prob’ly start gettin’ really frustrated about this, but that’s what crystals good for. All the dopamine I need, and nothin’s annoyin’. Focus.

✨🏹 

Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, walker guts. Trees and rocks and blood and mud and dirt and greens and browns and reds and blacks. And it’s dark and it’s light and it’s dark. And it smells fuckin’ rotten. Bent branches, wilted leaves, another trail, another dead end, another undead shithead. Bent branches, wilted leaves, mud impressions, Beatle. 

How many times did I go into Merle’s bag and take the devils dick up my nose? Cuz Beatle’s standin’ here right in front of me. ‘Cept she’s all done up in makeup and glitter and her pupils are the size of dimes. Little pink crop top, tiniest pair’a daisy dukes I ever seen. ‘n she’s in my face sayin’ the shit I been thinkin’ about her sayin’ since that day she said it. 

“I like you, Dar.” 

“You like bein’ fucked up more.” I say it like I said it the last time. 

“That’s not true! I mean - I like you, Daryl.” She steps closer, tries to put her hand on my cheek before I brush her off. She slumps back a little, turning away. “You like me, too. You said it.” 

My hearts in my fuckin’ throat and I’m standin’ there, this can’t be fuckin’ happening. I know is’not but doesn’t make it feel any less real. “Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle.” 

Hate that I said that to ‘er. Did I really say that? Cuz maybe that’s how I felt. Hell, maybe that’s how I felt last week. But it ain’t fair. I don’t know her. Still. Now. Don’t know ‘er at all. Thought I did. Thought I understood what kinda girl did those kindsa things. Is that really what I said? Fuck.

She’s still turned away from me, but I walk the half circle around to look at her face. And she’s sobbing. Silently, trying to stay as still as possible. I… I don’t remember this part. Maybe I didn’t see it? Nah, I saw it. Just didn’t care. Didn’t wanna look at ‘er. Didn’t want to hear her lame ass confession. Especially after she’d brought up that I told ‘er I liked ‘er. She sniffles and wipes her face before she pulls a bubble pipe out of the waistband of her shorts and lights the bottom, starts smokin’ it. She asks if I want a hit, like last time. 

I go to say no, but the words don’t come out. Instead my hand reaches for it. I look back up and Beatle’s dressed all different. Baggy jeans and a bikini top. That night. Fuck. Shit. I don’t want to relive that night. 

“I promise, I won’t tell Merle.” She says, handing me her lighter. And I smoke it. Inhaling the vapor slowly like she had. “You gotta sip at it, like it’s a coffee and you’re drinking the air to see if it’s still too hot. Roll the bowl or it will burn.” I do it the way she says. She’s like ten years younger than me, but she looks at me - talks to me like it don’t matter. Like she don’t see it that way. Guess I don’t either, never really did. 

I’d never wanted to smoke it before. But that night I wanted to. With her. Woulda done anything she’d asked that night ‘fore she ruined it. I ruined it. Til it got all fucked up an’ it was never the same again. Not the way I saw her, not the way she looked at me. 

I’m goin’ through memories like they’re happening all over again. Feelin’ fuckin’ sick. I don’t wanna remember this. 

I hand the pipe back to her and she asks, “How do you feel?” 

“Fine.” 

“Just fine?” She smiles. 

“Good.” I clarify. 

“Good.” 

Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t say it. “I think I like you, Beatle.” 

She laughs too hard, “you think?” I feel myself getting sicker and angry again all at once. 

I split in half. One half feelin’ those same feelings I felt. That this conceited fuckin’ bitch really acts like everyone likes her. I hear her words and it sounds like she’s sayin’ ‘well obviously’ - but the other halfa me hears it like a real question. Like she wanted ta know what I meant. I don’t remember how I responded then, but I can hear myself say it, “Self-obsessed cunt.” 

Beatle laughs, “Is that what you like about me?” 

My misunderstanding continues; Thought she was pickin’ on me. Makin’ funna me. All these years. All this time. Thought she was fuckin’ laughin’ at me. Never told a girl I liked her. Not that I never did like one, just never told ‘em. Not like some teenage fuckin’ confessional. And I do and what?  she just laughs.  

Shit. 

Cuz inside ‘m screaming. Screamin’ at myself ta say somethin’ different. To jus’ tell her. She’s special, she’s exciting, and when she smiles at the shit I say it makes me feel like I’m the only one in the fuckin’ world to her. Tha’s what she wants ta here. Tha’s why she’s askin’. 

“Nah. Forget it.” She nods, and I thought she did forget it.  She forgot until she brings it up again in the memory I already re-lived. 

Tha’s how I was so damn sure she didn’t give a single shit about if I liked her or not. Didn’t bring it up again for months. Didn’t give a single shit about me at all. Felt stupid for ever thinkin’ she might. Just a dumb crush on a dumb girl, and I forgot everything about it. An’ every little thing she did that made me like ‘er ended up as somethin’ else I hated.  And every time I saw her after that she was fucked up on somethin’. Meth or booze or weed. Usually all three. 

It comes at me like a fuckin’ freight train, her lips crashing into mine, but this time I want it. Don’t wanna stop kissin’ ‘er. Instead my arms move and I push her down to the ground. She’s wearing the crop top again, can tell she’d been cryin’. She’s layin’ there in the rocks lookin’ up at me and I flash back to the living room where this happened, where she’d told me she liked me back. I wanna beat the shit outta myself for makin’ her look like that. 

How didn’t I see it? 

I did see it. I just didn’t care. Thought I knew what kinda girl did those kinds’a things. 

Wonderin’ what kind of old man she had. What kinda boyfriends before she met me. How maybe she’s just as fuckin’ scared’a feelin’ stuff as I am. How maybe it took her months to even get up the courage to tell me after I’d told ‘er never mind and slowly started to hate her. How many’a those drinks were for courage? How many’a those hits were cuz she was nervous?

Shit. 

And she’s runnin’ away like she did then. Away from me an’ outta my life until a few weeks ago. I know it ain’t real but I run after her anyway. Screamin’ her name into the open air like maybe somehow I can change it if I can get her to come back. But she’s gone and ‘m still running tryin’ to find her. Screaming for her ‘til my throats hoarse. 

‘Til the walkers hear me. 

✨🏹

Andrea fuckin’ shot me. What is wrong with this fuckin’ group?

✨🏹

Beatle’s in the bedroom with me but I can’t look at ‘er. Don’t wanna. Feels like she knows what I was doin’ out in them woods without ‘er. Like she can see the dirty shit in my soul and for some reason it makes me ill. Can’t look at ‘er. Knowin’ I hurt ‘er like that all that time ago. Knowin’ it now like I ain’t ever known anything else. 

It’s just me ‘n her and she doesn’t try to talk to me. Just lets me lay there hatin’ myself for all of it. Didn’t even find Sophia. 

Spent a lot of my days in my life hatin’ myself. Thinkin’ I was good for nothin’. Now ‘m sure of it. 

I feel the bed move under the weight of her. She hugs herself around me, and like some pathetic kid I fuckin’ cry. Don’t know if she can tell or not but she tries comforting me anyway. “It’s okay, Dar. You did your best.” Her voice… how could I have ever thought it was annoying? Her bein’ so nice just makes me hate myself more. 

“Lea‘me alone, Beatle.” Shakin’ her arm out from around me. She gets off the bed and sits back in the chair she’d been in. God, I fuckin’ hate myself. Wanna scream No, come back. I didn’t mean it. 

Still got question’s that need answerin’. This time Beatles right here, and I ain’t got nothin’ to lose. “Why were you naked in Merle’s room?” Grateful that she’s sittin’ behind me. Don’t think I could talk to ‘er ‘bout this stuff if she was lookin’ at me. Right now? If I saw her face? Don’t think I could talk at all. 

She laughs. Fuck her stupid fuckin’ laugh. “I still can’t believe you think I fucked around with Merle.” 

“Why not? Y’all hung out every other day.” My voice is sharp, feels like she’s laughin’ at me again. Always feels like everyone’s laughin’ at me. 

“We all hung out every other day, Dar.” 

“Stop callin’ me tha’.” 

“I was carpet surfing. Your dumbass brother spilled all the schkag all over the damn place.” 

Oh…. But, “Ya didn’t have any clothes on.” 

“I never had any clothes on, Daryl. You sure I wasn’t just wearing something ‘slutty’? You know, like you always said I was? Cuz I don’t remember, but I’ve never been naked with Merle. Ever. Sounds fuckin’ gross.”

Oh. 

It made sense. Makes so much sense, ‘specially now. She keeps talkin’ an’ ‘m grateful cuz if I tried to say anything else I’d start fuckin’ cryin’ again. “I liked you, man. I…” she stops herself. Wanna beg her to keep goin’ but I can’t. 

Instead I ask ‘er the only question I got left, “Why’d ya leave, then? Ya left ‘n ya never came back.” 

She’s silent for a long time. “When you and Merle moved, where’d you go?” 

She did come back. 

“Why’d ya leave, Beatle?” Doesn’t matter where Merle and I went. She’s avoidin’ the question. 

“Got sober. After that night… with you. Wanted to get sober. Wanted to…” she don’t say the rest but she don’t need to. I got it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it. 

“Cuz I said ya liked gettin’ fucked up more than ya liked me.” It ain’t a question. I know. 

“Think it was more the other thing you said.” 

Tha’ was before I really knew ya, Beatle. I can still taste the words. “Shouldn’t’a said that to ya.” My voice is barely a whisper. 

She gets back up on the bed and puts her arm around me again, this time I don’t shake her away. Her voice, so close to my ear, “I didn’t want to tell you that I came back. I didn’t want you to know that I got sober for you.” 

What? “Why not?” 

“Wasn’t sure you’d care. And if you did… I didn’t want you to have all the what-ifs in your head that I have in mine.” 

She hugs herself into me so tight it’s hard to breathe, and she tells me, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” 

I feel guilty, can’t take any of that back. Can’t make any of it better. I don’t deserve this. Her. After all the nasty shit I ever thought about her. After what I did to her the other night. I can’t bring myself to tell her to leave cuz I know she wants to be here. Don’t wanna make her cry again. 

So I let her hold me. Even though I don’t fuckin’ deserve it. 

[ryuichirou]

Re: Gaslighter Rook. I wanna preface this by saying ofc people are free to hc whatever they want but I have some issues with what the other person said and how dismissive they acted about the whole thing. I apologize if this invites drama or discourse, that is absolutely not my intention, I moreso just want to share the other side's point of view for the sake of balance since you said you don't mind civil discussion even if we disagree. Firstly, yes a lot of the arguments for this come from the labcoat vignette. However, it is not all just because of one line. In the same vignette, Rook tells Vil he can't trust his own eyes because Rook knows him better than Vil knows himself which is a very common gaslighter tactic. He then further mentions that people will leave him unless he does what Rook tells him to and puts down the "me or everyone else" argument. Rook further tries to undermine Vil's ability to trust other people in Vil's dorm vignette by saying the other dorm members would never appreciate Vil's efforts for them even if they knew about them – a blatant lie that however still makes Vil withdraw from talking to them about it. During Vil's overblot, Rook refuses to give Vil personal space while he's having a mental breakdown and repeatedly asserts that Vil "doesn't deserve" it as well as claiming to be responsible for punishing him. After VDC, Rook not only claims that his vote was the deciding one despite having no way of knowing that but also claims it was the objectively correct thing to do as, again, Vil didn't deserve to win, simply because having a mental breakdown is ugly (since he was referring to the overblot, not the attempted cursing – which was never confirmed to be intended to be lethal by the way, that was also just Rook's assumption, one Vil, a character who already struggles to communicate with people especially if he feels they see him negatively, didn't fight but also didn't confirm). I also take issue with the claim that it cannot be abuse just because Vil respects Rook. Even ignoring how often irl abuse victims don't realize they're abused because of their warped perception of their abuser, we have examples of this even in twst. Mrs. Rosehearts wasn't a wonderful mother who suddenly became abusive when Riddle stopped making excuses for her behavior. Abuse doesn't stop being abuse because it isn't recognized and to a lot of us gaslighting victims, Rook's behavior is spot-on with things we went through, hence why we call him a gaslighter. Oh and a small note before anyone claims anything, according to multiple psychology sources, gaslighters aren't always aware of what they are doing. Me and others calling Rook a gaslighter don't automatically mean he WANTS to be evil toward Vil. Some of us see it that way while others don't but regardless, acting as though this headcanon comes from one single out of context line and not from a pattern of behavior Rook consistently displays feels very disingenuous and like it's trying to make us seem crazy when all we try to do is explain why we may not be comfortable with a character.

You don’t have to explain why you are uncomfortable. Neither me nor that Anon have made any judgment about it, and frankly, who cares why you don’t like a character. You don’t need reasoning for not liking him, a person might just think Rook’s hair is stupid or dislike characters with green eyes, and that’s enough. None of this makes you crazy, and this isn’t that deep.

If you look at the first ever reply I did on this topic, I said it then (and after that I said it time and time again):

Based on what you’re saying, your opinion is influenced by your past experiences. Which isn’t a bad thing, we all have our own biases, but it makes a proper discussion quite difficult, especially when there is trauma involved.

Because we love Rook as much as you hate him, and I fail to see why we should align our feelings and experiences with yours. This is not a public debate platform, this is not a discord server, this is my personal blog, and my opinion is always going to be prevalent here. I usually try to take the position “agree to disagree” also to avoid situations like this.

You’ve said that you just want to explain and share your side of the conversation, but in that case claiming that the other side’s opinion is dangerous or uninformed is a pretty shitty thing to do, just as it is shitty to completely ignore the points they were trying to make and put words into their mouths instead, alluding to them victimblaming and dismissing real victim’s struggles. What I’ve said multiple times at this point is that Rook Hunt isn’t a gaslighter. Not that it’s Vil’s fault for trusting him, not that if Vil respects him that it automatically makes Rook not an abuser (Anon didn’t say that either). Not that Rook is always right. Not that Rook has never hurt Vil. I’ve even said that we can’t say for certain that Rook’s brutal honesty is always helpful and doesn’t affect Vil in any bad way:

Maybe sometimes it would be better for Vil to just take it easy and relax instead of perfecting every single thing, but this isn’t what Vil wants for himself: he doesn’t want to be pampered, he wants to be appreciated for his hard work.

Just because this is what Vil wants doesn’t mean that this is what’s best for him. I still don’t think that it makes Rook an abuser, by the way (which is also a completely different topic from Rook being a gaslighter). You have ignored every single argument I’ve made in all of my previous replies, which is fine, but then I don’t really see the reason for you to explain yourself if you’re not even going to listen to me again.

No one tried to paint you as crazy, and even if I or Anon thought that this entire argument (argument, not you) was weird, it doesn’t concern you. If Rook Hunt hurts you, why would you even interact with any discourse about him? Why did that very first Anon confront me for not calling Rook a gaslighter, if all you (collective “you”) people wish for is to explain your point of view? I am not an emperor of Rook Hunt land; I am a rando writing hcs about dicks on the internet. And Rook Hunt is a character of a gacha game.

I’ll repost another thing from my very first reply.

Just ignore shit that you don’t like because while it might be traumatic for you, to us it might be one of the few things that bring us happiness.

Please read this part carefully. And respectfully, let’s stop this. I don’t agree with any of your points/interpretation, I find them drastically off from Rook’s actual characterisation to the point that it’s almost baffling at times (I have read all the scenes you’ve mentioned and I disagree with your every single point.) And guess what, it’s absolutely okay. Like I, wow, have said time and time again, we all have our biases. Yours happens to be to read everything that Rook does in the worst way possible and to compare him to Riddle’s mom. Mine happens to be very different, and insisting on me just missing the point or thinking or feeling the wrong way or not being educated enough about gaslighting or abuse (something that I also experienced, and you are aware of that) feels pretty disrespectful. This isn’t what I meant when I said that I don’t mind a civil conversation. This doesn’t feel like a conversation. Because, you know…

Even if it feels completely off to how I view it, I can appreciate or at least respect it if they respect the way I do things. And don’t imply that I don’t get it or I am stupid.

I won’t write an actual rebuttal to your points because one thing hasn’t changed from my very first post about the topic: this isn’t about Rook Hunt. And I don’t want to discuss the so-called danger of fictional tropes that don’t even apply to the character in my view. Also, stating that the way I headcanon a character’s behaviour and share my thoughts with others is dangerous to other people in real life (because someone is going to take my opinion as a course for their actions, I guess?) is also ironic. Why isn’t me drawing problematic ships or writing dark headcanons dangerous then? It’s the same logic, I have heard this argument multiple times, and I fail to see how it’s different right now. Rook Hunt is not a real person, we see his interactions with others from all points of view, he has actual writers with their own intentions (none of which is to portray Rook as a terrible, atrocious person, he’s not even 100% a villain, he’s a character that helped the princess in the original story, and I believe that his writers keep that in mind, ffs), and it is drastically different from the way I would treat this situation in real life: exactly because I would have to base my opinion on the lack of other perspectives and not witnessing the situations myself, and a bunch of other factors connected to the fact that this is real life, and in those cases I would prioritise the victim of someone’s suspicious actions. What a surprise.

I also believe that Katsu and I did our part so you could easily ignore our Rook-centric posts that make you uncomfortable. So please do your part and don’t interact with our Rook-centric posts (this applies to anyone who is deeply uncomfortable with this character or any other character, for that matter). Coming up with ways to mention Rook in posts so it's easily mutable for you and only you and still getting treated like an abuse apologist who spreads dangerous ideas makes one feel kind of silly for ever trying to be considerate and respectful. You’ll have to come up with ways to deal with that on your own now. This conversation is over.

This is also the last post I’m writing on this topic, every follow-up ask or comment about it (from anyone, anywhere) won’t be replied to.

[hoyotournament]

Quarterfinals: Bronya Zaychik vs Collei

(Propaganda under the cut)

Bronya Zaychik:

revamping this bc i feel like it could be better: i love her so so bad <3. canonically disabled lesbian who has trouble with feeling intense emotions BUT HER ENTIRE CHARACTER REVOLVES AROUND LOVE!! whether it be from her romantic love of seele in the early game/manhua (it being the primary motivation for her to take care of herself and a partial reflection of her initial goal of saving seele from the quantam space no matter what); familial love surrounding her (her inheritance of the legacy of reason from welt yang who lost his own father, her guardians love for her being the only reason shes survived for so long even after their death <- many examples of that but the most obvious one being alexandra trading her own life for bronya via misteln, cocolia's relationship with bronya being emphasized as complex in part because of the real love they do feel for each other alongside all the other resentment from cocolia's betrayal of her), literally just. the core of reason and its 300,000 minds being representative of welt joyce's decision to fight for humanity because he loved humanity from that. and all of this from (again!!!) a canonically disabled lesbian! who's character and marginalized identities have been dehumanized over and over again in real life and in the plot! this isn't even mentioning how her entire arc exemplifies honkai's theme of agency!! which makes me sob my eyes out bc bronya hasn't really been allowed agency since she came to cocolia's orphanage!! she was a child mercenary who's lost her home and guardians over and over and over again and forced to care for herself when she was young. her first true point of domestic stability was in cocolia's orphanage (which even then wasn't perfect!! cocolia, for how much she loved her children, still asked them to participate in dangerous experiments!) and when that was threatened because of her loss of seele and her trust in cocolia, she chose to leave. her agency is also exemplified with cocolia literally taking over her body in the early chapters of the game and ofc the parallels w wendy. AND DO YOU SEE HOW THIS CONNECTS TO WELT JOYCE, HUMANITY'S ADAM, WHO CHOSE TO FIGHT FOR HUMANITY AND EMBRACE HIMSELF AS A HUMAN INSPITE OF HIS ORIGIN AS THE CURRENT ERA'S FIRST HERRSCHER AND HOW THAT ALSO EXTENDS BACK TO ELYSIA'S SACRIFICE? she's so important to me everyone watch cyberangel rn.

Collei:

MY DEADALIVEGIRL!!!!!!!!!! i genuinely don't even know where to start. collei is such a beautiful beautiful character who's entire story revolves around a girl who's been dehumanized and exploited for her entire life, healing through compassion and a recognition of her own humanity. first of all, when we meet collei in the genshin manhua, she is full of vitriolic anger and hate at both the world and herself. she's been dehumanized over and over and over again and because its a repetitive experience, she fully believes that her lack of worth is something innately true. this only changes when someone (amber) shows her unrelenting compassion and trust. amber goes against everything that collei believed about herself. amber tells her that she is not only capable of good, but she is good. amber reinforces this novel idea that collei deserves goodness. and that realization is the moment that collei begins recognizing her own humanity, and thus, recognizing her own potential to grow, heal, and be the good person that amber knows she is. every moment thus forth is a demonstration of her attempts to grow and be kind!!!! she decides to go through with cyno's sealing ritual even with its conditions! she asks lisa to help her write a letter at the end of the manhua! she mends amber's tattered clothes like she promised! she decides to go to sumeru, a land of wisdom! it's so pertinent to her character that she gains her vision (representative of her ambition) during a show of compassion (protecting a child during a dangerous storm)! it's even in her symbolism with the way she's constantly referred to as a sproutling. NOT EVEN MENTIONING HOW THE REBIRTH METAPHOR THATS APPLIED TO HER CHARACTER (re: sprout of rebirth, revived serval, cyno and anubis and their ritual) IS SO DEEPLY CONNECTED TO SUMERU (her being the first sumeru character we know of and having that rebirth metaphor hinted at in the manhua! that rebirth metaphor carrying over to the actual sumeru plot w nahida! the rebirth metaphor tying in with the snake and cat symbolism that she and the archon residue complete!!!!!!) she's just such a loaded character!! AND collei's one of the few genshin characters with canonical cptsd who has identifiable and realistically common triggers. most importantly, the game acknowledges that its there and in spite of that, shows her resilience in still trying and healing!!!! my disabled deadalive mummygirl i love her so bad.

[yukkoislost]

i am BACK GODDDAMN sorry no magical girls or md omori to be seen atm 😞 i have ocs tho LMAO

listened to my heart?? and decided to draw ocs before i go absolutely insane. i mean i have three perfectly fine md ocs to work on so i might as well

i never did tell you what i had planned for asta huh

oc dump below cut that no one asked for <3

the three musketeers of my account HDJEHDHS

allow me to introduce them properly, i guess?¿ they each have their own individual posts but those posts were kinda rough around the edges,,

ASTA ✨

asta is my first (disregarding older ocs) md oc i've made. she's ridiculously smart (for the most part) but is also inherently a scaredy cat. she hates change and hates the unknown, sticking to a routine that she's used to for comfort.

like doll, she doesn't have her parents anymore and they're also partly the reason she doesn't have a courage. her parents' death had killed her curious spirit. they had always been more overprotective of her, considering they had both escaped unscathed out of the cabin fever labs situation.. (070 and 072, working on that) if asked, her strongest emotion is Fear. she's allowed it to control her life so much she doesn't know what it's like to live, despite being alive. because of this, even though she had been offered a spot with the cheerleaders, she didn't take it as it would mean a deviation from her comforting routine.

of course, her routine can't last forever. life in the bunker is boring but it was safe, and that's all she needed. (going into how she would be a part of the story? in progress though) she and uzi never knew each other personally. she sat at the back of the class while uzi was towards the front. she preferred not sitting too close to her because of her, uh, personality and actions? either way, she doesn't feel safe with uzi around because of uzi's inventive mind, and her tendency to do and create dangerous things (e.g., her sick as hell railgun. and also the whole braiden thing). asta wasn't necessarily shunned, she just had a small group of friends that she preferred sticking to (until doll killed them in the days going onto the promening)

getting the absolute solver string was NOT on her to-do list, but as mentioned, routine doesn't last forever. she hated the solver string and actively tried to ignore it, but it was difficult because if fucked with her systems and caused her to crave oil (which is a whole other thing and also the point where she finally accepted that she can't keep brushing away what she doesn't want to face). did i also mention she hears the solver's voice in the back of her head, because yeah that happens.

either way, since gaining the solver's string, she is also made aware that uzi and doll both had it but didn't try to reach out for help, still strongly controlled by her fear. my plan for asta was similar to how nori was the solver's secondary host (since cyn wasn't on copper-9 at the time), she would become puppet to the absolute solver, and in turn the third official host because of how lowkey she was and doll and uzi not knowing she had the solver. naturally, asta hated the idea of becoming a pet for the solver and constantly tries to override the solver's control on her (eventually succeeding. it leads the solver to want her death because it fears that asta will take over)

this is all canon divergence ofc :3

SERIAL DESIGNATION E 🐾

my second md oc, and first and only disassembly drone oc (for now? maybe haven't decided). serial designation E (also known as E or cerberus) is the outcast of his three-drone-squad. he had once tried to fit in better with the rest of his peers but after the first attempt, decided that it was too bothersome and they didn't deserve him anyway. or, that's how he phrased it in his lonesome.

he's the laziest of the bunch and hates any extra movement, preferring to kill prey quickly than to draw it out and have fun. he only hunts when his oil levels go down to 15% and if given the choice, he would've chosen to not need to eat at all. he isolates himself and has a small space set up away from the pod and essentially, his squad.

he didn't always used to be like this though, as mentioned whenever he tried his best to fit in with the rest, he did work hard. it wasn't enough though (nothing ever is). outcasted for his strange feature of having three nanite tails instead of one, he was always made fun of and in the beginning was also nicknamed Dog by his two other squad members since he wanted so bad to feel like he was needed and important to them, to the point he would willingly have done anything for them. but that was in the past. there's no point.

as a butler in the elliot manor, he has occasionally come across J, V, N and cyn. hard not to when they hang around the young mistress so often, especially J as her personal maid.. or something. he doesn't remember too well. much like his currently disassembly drone self, he took whatever shortcut he could find back in the mansion. he isn't a good person. he wasn't good then, and certainly isn't any better now. maybe a little. back in the manor, he hated doing work. he severely lacks motivation and seriously can't find a reason that he should be bothered other than the humans could kill him, or whatever. it didn't matter, or maybe it did? he wants to live (does he?) he doesn't remember.

anyway. that life is far behind him now. his squad was sent to copper 9 by JcJenson in spaaaaaaaaace (i forgot how many A's were in the space) to clear out the worker drones of course. he's got a chunk of missing memory somewhere in his head.. somewhere dark and somewhere fleshy. probablly not important. he remembers his quad but he can't find them, only alerted that a new pod and three new disassembly drones had landed– J, V and N (where was the other one? who was the other one? someone is not missing)

the forest breathes life into the dead landscape.

how long had he been asleep for?

OCTAVIERY 🦉

the oc that y'all would be familiar with. octaviery has more posts than asta and E combined (i think). the accidentally acquired child of N and uzi somewhere within the events of cabin fever

the good, quiet child of nuzi,, if you disregard his love for 'extreme sports' (read climbing into places he doesn't belong, and eventually getting stuck like an idiot). since his parents are both verbally loud and open, he never really had to ask for anything himself because his psuedo-parents dealt with it for him, leaving him to be the only introverted person of their small family.

he grows faster than a normal drone would, and thus reaches the age of a young teenager even while uzi is still in school. (yes, he is, in fact, taller than uzi. not taller than N though)

he doesn't know his true purpose.

AND THEN I GOT LAZY TO TYPE🤞

[on-my-vigilante-sht]

i’m currently re-reading the hunger games for the first time since literally middle school and i have so many thoughts.

a. haymitch is so much worse of a drinker in the books like i forgot how genuinely incoherent and essentially useless he is at first

b. i forgot how young katniss is. i feel like it’s hard to keep in mind that she’s 16 in the movies and still a child throughout the series and i find it so heartbreaking that someone so young is forced into providing for her family, fighting to the death, leading a rebellion, etc. it could also be the fact that i’m older than her character now and i’m looking back and realizing how immature 16 year olds are as opposed to when i was like 11 and thought they were basically adults.

c. omg my heart breaks for everyone in the series. the only stand out characters i can really think of who i don’t have any sympathy for are seneca crane, snow, and coin. like the lesser-regarded deaths are the careers’ (that is everyone sympathizes with thresh, rue, reaper, jessup, basically everyone in tbosbas but people are less inclined to sympathize with the careers). i find their deaths so tragic because they thought they were going to go home. clove and cato wanted to go home together just like katniss and peeta did.

d. one of my favorite additions to the movie is thresh’s almost brotherly relationship with rue. because in the books katniss mentions that he never really even took an interest in his district partner (rue obv; but ofc she only saw them at training so we don’t really know) but in the movies, when rue steals that knife, thresh looks at her like proudly and omg my heart. like obviously thresh cared about rue because he killed clove and spared katniss but that small addition makes me smile every time. and because he was such a good person his death kills me. reaper too. they both cared so much and were much better people than the capitol. district 11 were raising their children right.

e. my heart breaks for peeta in particular. he is such a good fucking person and i feel like no one returns it in the way he deserves. he gives and gives and gives to his family but it seems like they give absolutely nothing in return. like his mom having no faith in him and then (if i remember correctly) they don’t even come to live with him in victors’ village

f. i’ve ranted about this before and this doesn’t pertain to og hunger games + i’m referencing the movies but i hate the ending of mockingjay. when katniss is screaming at buttercup that prim is gone? omg the anguish i feel for katniss. she lost everything. the fact that she just lives right next to the decimated remains of her former district? what? like yes she has peeta and they have kids but it feels very “last two people on earth” to me and that seems like such a tragic life.

g. this is such an unjust, unfair, cruel series but it’s so good