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#oh and i know this is the least important part of your ask but thank you for saying you like my blog theme lmao
lyneira · 2 days
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Hi! May I please request headcanons for how the Toji, Choso, Gojo, and Nanami would react to his gn crush kissing him because they're so in love with him? Thank you!
Headcanons of Toji, Choso, Gojo, and Nanami's reactions after their s/o kisses them passionately out of nowhere
Toji, Choso, Gojo, and Nanami (separately) x reader
fluff with some spice!
a/n: I changed the prompt a bit in which the reader is already in an established relationship with the characters rather than being their crush. I misread your ask the first time I read it and only understood what you meant when I had finally finished writing. So sorry anon, I hope this is okay anyway! 😭
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TOJI
He'd chuckle, "Well, aren't you such a sweetheart?", before grabbing your chin and kissing you back, full-force.
He'd find it so endearing that you loved him greatly. Surely, he'd show you how much he felt for you as well.
You'll see it in the way his eyes glint dangerously at you, like a predator ready to capture his prey, as he kisses you relentlessly.
You'll hear it in the way he lowly hums with delight into your lips with each kiss.
You'll taste it in the way he pushes his tongue into your mouth, exploring every part of it before dancing with yours.
You'll feel it in the way his other arm is wrapped around your waist, pulling you in closer to firmly press his body up against yours. You'll feel something in particular begin to press up against you too.
Through all this, Toji would hope that you at least understand one important thing - You can't kiss him without expecting it to get steamy ;)
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CHOSO
He's as over the moon for you as you are for him. He'll kiss you back with the same intensity, if not more.
Choso will never hold back in terms of expressing his love for you. So when you openly and freely express your love for him, it brings his heart so much joy that he could cry. (and no doubt he would)
He'd cup your cheeks and smother your face with kisses, each kiss holding tons of affection. (His adoration for you would grow tenfold if you would do the same)
In general, with Choso, once you show him even an ounce of affection, he'll never hesitate to give it back. If you two continue to reciprocate each other's affections, then it'll be a long night of giving each other love and much more~
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GOJO
I could imagine he'd grin, "Oh, you're too cute, Y/N. C'mere", and pounce on you with a big kiss.
Sure, he might be used to being fawned over and being the object of others' affection, but he doesn't take any affection from you for granted. You're special to him, after all. He'll love any gesture of affection from you the most and will always show his appreciation for it in fun-loving ways.
So I think he'd be the type to continue kissing you playfully: leaving light kisses on your lips, down your neck, around your collarbone, and maybe even further down, all while keeping his hands on your hips to ensure you're grounded underneath him. His firm grip on your hips was his way of telling you that he isn't letting you go any time soon.
Anyway, you'll end up finding quite a lot of love-bites all over your body, also in the most intimate places, once he's done with you.
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NANAMI
He'd probably get caught off guard from the sudden gesture of affection.
Yet, in that moment, he'd feel at peace. Looking at your smiling face full of happiness and seeing your beautiful eyes shine with love and adoration staring back into his own couldn't bring him more joy.
Knowing that there's someone who loves him this much warms his heart and soothes his mind. Especially after a long day from work, he's incredibly grateful that you're the one he can come home to.
He'll wrap his arms around your waist and pull you in closely while keeping his gaze upon you, his eyes so gentle as he admires your visage.
"I love you", he'll whisper with a soft smile before going in for a kiss.
As he kisses you back, you'll feel the passion he has for you in his lips, claiming them over and over again as he embraces you tighter.
Your hearts would be so close to one another's, and each heartbeat would be his vow to protect you, the most precious thing on earth to him, with all his might.
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© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS
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dcxdpdabbles · 4 months
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Hi! I love your writing so much!! I'm currently loving your freelance inventor series! I don't see a lot of danny/bruce fics so it's always fun when you post one!! What danny thinks of the justice league, does he think they're just Bruce's extreme sports friends? Or his kids friends parents?
Danny first meets Bruce's extreme sports friends when Dick plans to introduce Wally-his first boyfriend- on a water skiing trip. It went a little hair-walled due to the misunderstanding.
He had been around the manor with some free time, so he asked Bruce if he could join once Dick brought up the trip and made a comment on how important things he needed to talk about.
Usually, Danny wouldn't have bothered, but because it was so long that thier friendship had started he felt like it was a good time to ask.
At first, both the Waynes appeared to be dancing around the subject that, for a second, Danny thought they didn't want him there. Not wanting to make them feel pressured—and a little embarrassed he had assumed he could tag along—he backtracked quickly, making up an excuse about flying out to see Dani.
There was an awkward dinner that evening, so Danny left immediately. He had planned on staying the night at Wayne Manor, but he felt he had overstayed his welcome from his silly request. Instead, he rented a hotel room in the more dangerous parts of the city.
Danny had been on the hotel's phone line all night, attempting to find a plan to take him somewhere close to Dani. He could fly with his powers the rest of the way, but he needed to create some kind of paper trail.
While he listened to the hold music of the airline representative, he felt a wave of shame. At that point, Danny had only known Bruce and Dick for a year- but with various breaks in between visits- and had thought that made them closer. Who did he think he was?
Bruce wanted their relationship to stay as business associates who occasionally hung out but nothing as important as a vacation trip. Danny had just been the idiot who thought himself more important.
Well, he would not be making the same mistake. He would only come back if it involved his work and would find his own lodging from now on. The Waynes had likely not know how to say no to him.
Idiot, Danny thought, pacing in his room and wiping away tears. Idiot. Stupid. Moron. Of course, Bruce Wayne doesn't think of you as a friend! Get a clue!
"Thank you for waiting, Mr. Fenton. A first-class plane ticket to Calais, France, has been booked for you on Monday, July 7th. Would you like to make this a round trip?" the cheerful woman asks him, and he sniffs.
"No. It's a one-way. I won't be coming back here for a while." The words feel like knives in his chest
She doesn't notice as she chirps "Alright then, that has been done for you. Thank you for using Wayne Airlines!"
Ugh, he even used Bruce's planes by accident. At least this will be the last thing he annoys the man with. The following morning, bright and early Danny is out the door with his suit case. He makes it all the way to the lobby where he bumps into a fretting Dick and some red head kid.
"Danny!" Dick cries. He flings himself onto his waist, squeezing with all his might. Danny is flabbergasted. "Danny, I only wanted Bruce to go on the water ski trip because I wanted to tell him about my boyfriend! I haven't told him I was bisexual yet, I wanted to tell him on the trip, but I made him swear not to mention it to anyone else, but then you asked to go, and Bruce couldn't figure out a way to tell you no without revealing that I wanted to talk about something important-but then you got sad, and then Bruce got sad and I-"
"Babe." The redhead cuts in. "Breath"
"Danny, please don't be mad at Bruce because of me!" Dick cries, rubbing his face against Danny's stomach. "I promise we didn't want to exclude you!"
Danny's heart melts, both by how cute Dick is and the knowledge that Bruce was just a good dad and not any of his insecure-inspired conclusions. "Oh, Dick. I'm sorry you felt that. I promise I'm not mad, and I'm so proud of you. Thank you for sharing that part of yourself with me."
He leans down to hug the boy, grinning as the ten year old sighs. Then he directs a glare at the redhead. He looks about twelve and frankly, Dick is far too young for a boyfriend. "Who's this?"
"I'm Wally West-"
"I asked Dick"
"Oh."
Dick leans back. "This is Wally. He's my best friend and boyfriend! Wally, this is Danny- he's like my second dad."
"It's nice to meet you, sir!" The redhead gulps as Danny's eyes narrow.
"Pleasure." He says in a voice that means anything but. "Dick, sweetie, how did you get here? Does Bruce know where you are?"
"Wally and I...ugh took a cap." Dick everts his eyes. "Bruce was talking to his friends trying to convince them to go on the trip too. He wanted to prove you were his special friend to his regular friends."
A thrill ran through Danny. He was Bruce Wayne's best friend!? "You know I think I can take you kids back home myself. Maybe we can still make a water ski trip!"
Both boys blink owlishly. "Yeah...maybe. Let me just call Uncle Barry to make sure he's going, too."
Wally sprinted to the front desk to borrow their landline while Dick stayed behind, babbling to Danny about how he knew he was bi and how he met Wally. Mentally, Danny was drafting a lecture to give Bruce for allowing his boy to date a co-worker and friend's nephew, especially at this young age! He didn't let his thoughts appear on his face, only nodding and smiling between Dick's word vomits.
Meanwhile, on Wally's side, he uses the Justice League hotline to speak to his Uncle. His call was transferred to the meeting with all the original founders as he used the emergency code accesses Barry had taught him.
His call was placed on speaker for everyone to hear.
"Code Teal for B! Code Teal for B!" he hissed into the phone. The rest of the members sat up straighter and sent Batman looks of alarm. Code Teal was a spouse or lover who thought a hero was cheating on them because of the mission's old hours. We needed to come together to cover for them.
Batman was hiding his face in his hands. ".....Confirm Code Teal."
"Oh and before I forget Code Artificial red for Dick and me" Wally shouts, ignoring the imploding shouts from Batman or Uncle Barry.He hung up not wanting to explain that the boys had chosen to use Fake-out-make-out in order to convince Danny to stay.
He wouldn't mind dating Dick, but maybe later when they were both older. Not that Danny needed to know that.
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corkinavoid · 2 months
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DPxDC Multiverse Police (pt.3)
JL very soon finds out there's no reasoning or controlling this particular brand of crazy. Amity, as they like to call themselves - 'Because saying Interdimensional Law Enforcement every time is long and ILE is boring', Dani explains to them - do whatever they want and deem necessary, and no one can stop them.
They have bargained with the US government to let their whole town stay for a week in Illinois like one would ask to stay in a hotel room. They have all but swiped all the tech shops in the nearby area, and somehow, they had real, actual money to pay for it, despite not even originating from this dimension. They claimed it was due to the Ghost - or God, the opinions were mixed - of Time making it work. They visited a bunch of people. Heroes, that was.
One memorable visit was one they paid to Flashes. Vlad, the mayor of Amity Park and unofficial leader of ILE, and Tucker, a kid with an insane knowledge on all and every kind of tech, performed a whole lecture to Flash family as well as their friends and colleagues, on importance of safety while time-traveling, the best ways to fix the timelines and even on upgrades to their costumes.
The other important visit was the one they paid to Diana, although that one was not so climactic - Jazz just gave her a bunch of letters and a card with a summoning sigil on it. 'It's for Pandora, she enjoys having a cup of tea with Themyskirians,' the redhead claimed.
Now, it was Batman's turn, it seems.
Danny was standing - more like floating - in front of Red Hood. They were at the Watchtower since Batman did not like Amity coming to Gotham. In his opinion, that would be just calling for trouble, and both Valerie - head of ILE security - and the records of other Batmans said he was not wrong.
"Yeah, this one's fucked up," Danny says after almost three minutes of looking straight at Hood, and the man huffs:
"Thanks, I got that part," he throws back, but Danny just laughs softly.
"No, sorry, I didn't mean it as you personally. Just, like, compared to the other Red Hoods I've met. At least you're not fucked up beyond reason, I can still help you," the ghost boy says cheerfully and claps his hands, "Ready to get rid of the boiling rage in your veins?"
And, before either Hood or Batman can say anything, he reaches his hands inside Jason, and the man tenses up, holding his breath. Batman hovers close - he's read about the same kind of procedure being performed by Danny on other versions of Jason in the files, but reading about it and witnessing it is two entirely different things.
Danny's hands start turning green. The same thing he did with the portal before happens again: glowing, Lazarus green flows up his hands, like veins outside his skin. Only this time, it's not as bright as the portal was. It's murky and dull.
A few seconds later, Danny slowly takes his hands out of Red Hood's chest, and Bruce is really glad he was standing so close because Jason all but falls down to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. Batman holds him by the shoulder, keeping him up, but Danny shakes his head:
"No, he better sit down. He's probably gonna feel lightheaded for a few minutes. Oh, and catch," he throws something to Batman, which he catches on reflex. It's a weird, jello-like substance of dark, dirty green color, almost like a stress ball.
"What is it?" He asks, and Danny grins:
"A souvenir. That's his Pit Rage," he nods to Red Hood.
"My what?!" Jason snaps his head to the ball in Batman's hands.
"The parts that made it actual Rage. Think, like, an infection, or a parasite, or just- You know what, it's what you get when some crazy asshole bathes you in ghost sewers," Danny shrugs, completely disregarding the face expressions Batman and Red Hood are giving him. "Speaking of which, do you wanna come with us when we get rid of those Lazarus Pits of yours?"
There's a bit of silence, before Red Hood breathes out:
"Hell, yes."
-------------------------
I'll be writing another part with Amity getting rid of Ra's and Lazarus Pits, yeah. In the meantime, Sam is looking for Constantine to give him a slap on the hand because all the John Constantine's pieces of soul were like a massive jigsaw puzzle to her, considering there's more than one John Constantine and all of them can't stop selling their fucking souls even for a minute and Sam is so done.
Tucker and Tim are nerding out in WE with no sleep or food, Damian gets to play with Cujo, Kon is discussing clones' trials and tribulations with Dani, Jazz is giving Supes a long overdue lecture on how to treat clones, Dan is looking for someone to fight - so far he's found Captain Marvel but he knows he is just a kid so instead of actual fighting they are playing Mario Cart - Val is having fun with Arrows because sharp shooters gotta stick together, and Vlad had abandoned all of his responsibilities and is hiding in Lex Luthor's penthouse, discussing cat breeds and how annoying heroes can be.
Paulina made her way into Gotham without anyone noticing and befriended Harley and Sirens, so Batman may or may not find a particular clown dead when he comes back to his city. Dash is actually not up for trouble, so he is on duty in Amity Park, doing tours for all the curious people who got interested in ghost town and decided to visit. GIW agents are in the process of locating all the Pits, Maddie is elbow deep in a scientific discussion with Martian Manhunter, Jack is upgrading the Amity Ship with all the new tech he's got, and Cyborg is keeping watch on him.
Did I forget anyone? I most likely did.
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Tag list: @mae-mae-mae @okami-love @fantasticstoryteller @ultra-stormsaga
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shoyudon · 4 months
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𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 .ᐟ
you getting your period during a date
starring. gojo satoru, choso kamo, nanami kento x fem! reader
heads up. cursing, period.
note. I'M BACKKK, i missed my blue eyed king (let's pretend nothing happened, everyone's okay, we're all hahas and heehees) and i missed u all too. anw, hru all?
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──────〃★ 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔
"baby, i think i got my period," you whisper at him, squirming uncomfortably in your seat across from him — gojo stopped his movements and stares at you, "can you check if it stained . . ?"
thank goodness gojo had booked a secluded seat by the corner of the restaurant, you slowly stood up and looked down, "oh, fuck. it stained —" a part of you was thankful that the seat wasn't made of fabric, it was a smooth wooden seat.
he stood up and sat you back down, taking off his jacket to lay it over your lap, "wait here, yeah?" he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he bolted out of the restaurant to god knows where. it took him less than five minutes to come back with a pink colored pouch.
gojo grabbed your hand, gently tugging you up to stand as he tied the sleeves of his jacket around you to hide away the stain, "there are a few things you can use in there, baby, come on," and there he goes, guiding you down to the washroom of the restaurant; even waiting for you to disappear behind the door of the girl's washroom.
you unzipped the pouch slowly, taking out the contents: small plastic bag, tampons, winged pads, pantyliners, hell even a spare underpants.
chuckling, you began changing and walked out of the washroom only to see gojo leaning by the door, "oh, hi baby," he greets cheerfully, grabbing your hand, intertwining your fingers together, "anything else you need? your tummy hurting already?"
shaking your head, he brings you both back to your seat, which was thankfully still scattered with your own food, "thank you, 'toru. i don't know what i'd do without you."
gojo chuckles softly, raising your fingers to his lips, "'ts my job, baby. i love you."
──────〃★ 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎
"period?"
you nodded as choso's lips parted in confusion — you didn't blame him at all though. a squeak escaped his throat, and you laugh out nervously, "can i help you with it? what should i do? is it painful? should i carry you to the bathroom?"
choso went on and on with his questions, panic glimmering all over his face, "baby, it stained," he whispers, standing behind you. cursing softly, you try to hide the stain with your hands, as much as you wanted to ask choso to help you to cover it up, you noticed how he was only using a white colored hoodie with no other shirt inside it.
but choso, honestly could care less — he took of his hoodie, exposing his toned body, "here, baby," he ties the hoodie around your waist to cover your stain.
"cho, your hoodie's white—"
"it's okay, baby," he tells you, his eyes completely on you. paying no mind to the people staring at him as they pass by, "we can wash it off, you're much more important right now."
──────〃★ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎
nanami's always come in prepared, he knows your cycle more than you do — honestly, is that even surprising? he's always kept a few tampons and pads inside the inner pocket of his suit, since you know; cycles aren't really the same every month, either behind or it jumps forward a few days.
"i think i got my period . . ." you squeezed his hand, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand.
"hm?" he looks down, "let's find a bathroom," nanami tells you, tugging you forwards towards the public restroom — still as calm as cucumber.
"do you bring anything to use?" nanami questions softly, and you shook your head in panic. your period was supposed to be at least in four days, not now.
as you both arrive in a public restroom, nanami rummaged through the inner pocket of his suit, slipping a pad into your hand in discreet, "here you go, love. your period's jumped forwards a few days," he murmurs, raking his finger through your hair.
looking up at him, you sigh out in relief, "thank you, ken. you're a life saver . . ."
nanami chuckles, leaning down to kiss your lips, "isn't it my job to take care of you?" he planted a second kiss to your lips, "i love you."
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© shoyudon 2024 . no copying or reposting allowed !
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seospicybin · 1 year
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Felix x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Felix become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (15,4k words)
Author's note: It's kind of experimental turning this into a fanfic but hope you enjoy it. Part II will be out next week x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I think physical appearance is not that important. It's all about confidence. [flips hair] I think all women should carry their self with confidence, stand tall, and always strive to be better. 
But when you look at me, I'm pretty much a smoke show [laughs] I'd date myself if I could [laughs]
My ideal type is someone with a distinct charm. I'd love to see a tattoo or two on a man and someone who knows how to keep it exciting, cause I get bored easily [blows kisses to the camera]
-
Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That's why you accept your cousin's offer in exchange for money that would save you from getting kicked out of your apartment and from dropping out of college.
She was in a desperate time too when she reached out to you as one of the contestants decided to drop out of the reality show she worked in as the casting director.
Guess desperate times reached out to each other.
But you, as a nobody with less than a hundred followers on Instagram and you believe half of them are bots, have no experience of being in front of the camera, doubting that you'll do well in it.
Other than that, you think reality shows are just a waste of time, they have no educational value but dumb people down.
But what option do you have? You're broke, jobless, and a week away from being homeless when the offer came.
"What's the reality show about again?" You ask your cousin, Sara.
She rolls her eyes at you, it's probably the umpteenth time you asked her about it again. "It's on the description."
It's on the pile of papers she gave you but you're too lazy to read that many pages written in small fonts with single spaces.
You have to bring it close to your face to read it.
A group of determined singles visit paradise to meet, mingle, and remain celibate for their chance to win $200,000.
"So..." you stop reading after seeing the amount of money you can win from it, "it's basically a dating show."
"Yes," she answers, "but... you will not be allowed to kiss or touch or have sex."
"Oh, thank God!" You let out a long sigh of relief.
Yes, you need the money but knowing that you don't have to do such things for a reality show makes you feel relieved. At least when one of your peers knows, you wouldn't have to be embarrassed about it. You can say you did it for the experience, but spare the part that you did it for quick money.
Another question pops into your head, "But then... how are we going to date each other if we're not allowed to kiss or touch and whatnot?" 
Sara smiles at you, "See? That's the catch!"
She gets all excited in a second, "you have to resist each other from going at it," she further explains as her eyes turn a little loopy.
"Oh, so they'll be sex in it?"
She chuckles, "Maybe yes. Maybe not. Who knows?"
That's a vague answer and you still don't get how she would make money from making a reality show but doubtfully giving people what they want.
It's not like you're in it to actually find someone to date. You agree to join because she promised you more money once the shooting is done.
You're going to stay at a gorgeous villa on an island with a few people and try not to be in each other's pants, which is not what you intend to do in the first place.
What's so hard about it anyway? 
-
Wow!
You might have missed the part that you have to be dressed in provocative swimwear and show as much skin as possible in the papers Sara gave you.
However, there's this one motto that always works to make you through the day.
Fake it till you make it and you have no other option but to fake it.
Your hair is styled into loose waves to make it look like you've been spending time at the beach and thankfully, you're allowed to do your own make-up. You put on a simple one, put a little blush on your cheek, and a layer of shiny gloss over your lips.
You changed into a two-piece bikini and look at yourself in the mirror.
Damn, you don't even have to fake it anymore. You look hot and you think that's why they still passed you as a contestant despite knowing that Sara is a relative of yours.
The first segment of the reality show is contestants entering the villa one by one, but in your case, you have to do it with another gorgeous girl.
"I'm Maeve," she introduced herself in a cute Irish accent.
You might or might have not just checked her out from head to toe before shaking her hand back to introduce yourself back.
You're taller than her but that's what makes her cute. She has that pretty dirty blonde hair and a nice smile, exuding a very positive vibe. You like her already.
The staff gives you the cue to start walking into the gravel path that leads to the villa while the cameras take you from every angle possible to capture your best features.
By best features, you mean your breasts and boobs, anything that possibly makes people think that's how a perfect body should be.
You are against female objectification but again, what other choice do you have? Giving up your principles just so you can live another day in this capitalist world.
Cheers welcoming both of you as the other contestants that have made their entrance before you, watching you step into the scene.
You can feel their eyes on you, either in envy or lust or things in between. You introduce yourself around with hugs and kisses, which is not how you usually introduce yourself.
Once they handed you a welcome drink which is a glass of warm champagne from being under the sun too long, it's when you see each one of them better.
Your confidence deflates in an instant because they're all way hotter and sexier than you. They look good in their bikinis and their hair is perfectly tousled like they rolled out of bed looking that gorgeous.
You're not just talking about the female contestants, the male too are incredibly stunning, their abs are on display since they're only wearing swimming trunks, their skins glowing under the sun.
You find yourself fanning your neck just from stealing glances at it.
"Hot, huh?" The other girl asks you, one with a perfect bone structure and full lips.
You lightly chuckle, "Everyone in here is hot," you carefully with what you said, aware that a mic is attached to your body.
"I know right?" She says with a flirty smile.
After a moment, you learn her name is Laura and she's the epitome of a hot girl. She has the perfect hair, perfect body, perfect nails, and even the way her hair parted is perfectly in the middle. Other than that, Laura, like other pretty girls, has it easy in her life, she's a social media influencer with 300k-something followers and said she's here for 'shit and giggles', her words, not yours.
A lot more male contestants enter the villa and everyone refills their champagne flutes as the temperature raises. You can't tell if it's because you're so close to the beach or there's just a lot of heat in here, or it could be that you're panicking inside and try not to show it.
Your cousin Sara is wrong about one thing.
There's not just one catch, they're all a catch and you can't do anything about them.
-
YOU: I feel like I'm in an ice cream shop and they have all of my favorite flavors. Vanilla, chocolate, salted caramels, cookies, and cream... [bites thumb] I just can't wait to have a scoop of each flavor [chuckles]
-
After the introduction and draining six bottles of champagne in the process, everyone is allowed to explore the place, get familiar with each other, and mingle.
Well, of course, you have to do your part, be flirty with them but you don't intend to go into that yet. Not when your confidence level is at its lowest that you can't even fake it anymore.
You sit by the lounge chair by the beach, enjoying the view of the beach while trying to ignore all the cameras filming you.
One of the cameramen suddenly got closer to get an angle when you notice that one of the male contestants is coming to the beach and you see no one else there but you.
Suddenly, you feel alarmed, immediately check your appearance, and got you wondering why that is your first reaction. This never happens in real life.
"Hi," he says, sitting on the other lounge chair next to you.
You raise yourself from the longue chair, supporting the back of your head with a cushion.
"Hi," you finally say back, trying to sound calm yet sultry like how Laura speaks.
You notice that he speaks in an accent that you can't quite decipher its origin, "may I know what accent is that?"
"It's French, but I do speak German as well," he says.
"And English," you point out.
He chuckles, "That too!"
"I learn that everyone has an exotic accent while I'm here with the most basic accent," you say and it surprises you how well you're doing at being an obnoxious reality show star.
He smiles, showing his perfectly good teeth, "Nah, I think you're cute."
And surprises yourself again at how receptive you are, smiling at his compliment. You laugh to yourself as you try to remember his name, everyone introduced themselves too quickly earlier and gave you no time to memorize them.
"I'm sorry. What's your name again?"
"Alex," he says, taking another step towards you as if he wasn't standing close enough.
Alex is super tall, super attractive, muscles in all the right places and you have never cared about such things in a man before. Alex has nice brown skin and soft curly hair, he's charming in a way that subtly grows in you.
"Well, Alex, how come you're so tall?" You playfully ask him, holding your champagne flute close to your face.
"I play basketball," he answers.
You click your tongue in awe and at the same time, feel afraid that Alex has raised your standards of men to a whole new level.
-
YOU: Alex is hot. Isn't that obvious? That French accent ooh... [whistles] and he plays basketball. He's like a tall glass of water and I'm super thirsty.
-
He's hot, he's tall, he speaks three languages, and he also plays sports. What else can he do? You wonder...
"What about you?" He asks.
You think for a moment, "Well, I only speak English," you answer with giggles.
He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at you with an intense stare.
"I can speak cat language too if that counts," you add.
He raises an eyebrow at you, "So you're a cat person, huh?"
"Yes, I am."
"I see..." he says, looking at you with an even more intense stare, "you like to be spoiled, huh?"
You turn to lay on your side to show him the curve of your body and bite your lower lip as you bravely stare back at him, "who doesn't like to be spoiled?"
Alex licks his lip as you catch him glancing at your lips, he thought of kissing you for sure but has no idea what stops him.
"What animal person are you?" You ask as the conversation starts to dry up.
He props a hand under his chin, "Why don't you guess?"
You tap your lips with your index finger to subtly tease him, "A puma?" You wildly guess.
He laughs, "Why?"
"I got the impression that you're wild, can't be tamed," you say whatever it is crossed your head at that moment.
You don't think Alex would care anyway with what you're saying because all he can think about is whether he should kiss you or not.
"Am I right? Or am I not wrong?" You dare him by closing the gap a few inches short.
Yet he remains in his seat and you're getting bored of waiting already. You retreat from keeping this going and sit up on the longue chair.
"I think I have to start getting ready for the party," you excuse yourself.
You're not proud that you're back to being such a bitch who plays with men but gosh, something about this reality show that brings out the bad girl in you.
-
YOU: Perhaps it's too early for him to get his move on someone. I think he wants to keep his options open and that's what I'm doing as well, I want to get to know a few of them and see if I... uh can have some fun.
-
The males are already waiting at the beach for the party.
The females are taking longer time to get ready because there is so much to do, hair, make-up and even putting fake acrylic nails.
You have lived as a woman for twenty-three years but only realized now how exhausting it is to be one. Not that you don't like it but people oftentimes don't give women enough credit for it.
"Come here, you sexy!" One of the males says.
Wow. What a way to impress a woman!
Everyone is sitting on the benches set around a bonfire and drinking cocktails with umbrellas in them, sipping and talking, checking each other out in secret or not so secret
A player recognizes another player so there's no use for all contestants to play naive, pretending that they're just here to sit around bonfire and make friends.
Everyone knows that they're here to get wild and becomes famous by doing it on a reality show. Except you thought, you don't want to go that far.
"Icebreaker time!" Says the girl with brunette hair and rosy cheeks. You believe her name is Heidi.
"Each one of us will take turns to stand in the middle with a blindfold on and anyone can do anything to that person. In the end, they have to guess who did it," she explains but more like babbling around the words while seductively chuckling in between words.
You don't get what she's saying but try to learn the game by watching as she takes the first turn to set an example. Heidi is a total babe, it's impossible if no one wants to have a piece of her.
A male comes up to her and has a deep kiss that put everyone to shame. One look and you can tell that it's one hell of a kiss. You sip the drink you've been holding in your hand.
Your heart is drumming the closer it gets to your turn, afraid that someone does things with you but it would be more embarrassing if no one does things with you.
So far, everyone at least has a kiss or a smooch, Laura even lets a guy touch her ample bosoms. You haven't made a move yet and it's kind of a requirement that you show your wild side because that's the idea of the show.
It's Jamie or that's what you remember his name is. He's taking his turn and putting a blindfold on, he looks gorgeous wearing a white shirt and short pants.
Jamie has glowing tan skin and six-pack abs, his hair must have skipped months of a haircut but rocking it all right. He keeps brushing his hair to the back, knowing that it looks better when it's messy.
You take a glance at everyone and none of them seem to make a move on him, impulsively, you get up from the stool and come up to him.
It's when you stand in front of him you have no idea what to do with him or more like, you have tons of ideas of what you want to do but can't choose one.
Everyone else is watching from their seats in anticipation, you shut down your brain from thinking and just go with it. You stand on your tiptoe and kiss him on the neck, covering your lips once you're done to not give him any clue that it's you who kissed him.
You run back to your seat and see what his reaction is once he takes his blindfold off. Next, Jamie has to guess who is it and to avoid looking suspicious, you calmly sip your drink and watch him guess who did it.
After taking too much time observing, he gives up, "I don't know. But whoever it is, I kind of want more," he says.
You try to remain calm and take another sip, looking anywhere but not in his direction.
It's finally your turn, your heart is beating faster and you wonder if the audio guy can hear it too with the mic resting around your neck.
Taking a quiet deep breath, you tie the blindfold over your eyes and around your head. You can only hope for the best now and block every insecurity that tries to reside in your head.
"Ooh..." everyone coos in unison and that only means someone is coming or about to do things to you.
Nervous, you clench and unclench your fists to calm yourself. Then a pair of hands gently cup your face and tilts your head upward.
Not ready for it, this mysterious person kisses your open mouth and proceeds to kiss you more, using his tongue in the most pleasurable way to taste you.
Damn! He's a good kisser and you reflexively respond to his kisses with your hands holding theirs. For a split second, you forget that you're in the middle of shooting a reality show and everyone is going to watch it.
You gasp the second they let go and have you fixing your lipstick because there's no way that phenomenal kiss not smudging it.
"Whoa. Can barely think after that kiss," you shamelessly tell everyone as you act drunk as you walk back to your seat.
Sipping your drink, you secretly assess everyone and try to guess which one of them kissed you. They're all hot anyway, it's not a loss to kiss one of them and you didn't know why you were fussing about it earlier.
Since Laura is taking the last turn and everyone seems to be whipped by her, you can see that all the male contestants anticipated this. You bet they're lining up to get a kiss from her.
It takes only a few seconds for anyone to make a move, the first one to have it is Daniel with half of his body covered in tattoos. He has a lean body and that bad boy attitude, he confidently strides to kiss Laura on the lips, so hard that she gasps in surprise.
You find yourself clapping at two people doing lewd things in front of a group of people. When you think Daniel is the only one succeeding in having a piece of Laura, another one takes his turn.
You almost scoff seeing Alex holds her by the neck and kisses her so deeply. Instant turn off, all those charms he has seems to be wiped off your head in a second.
-
YOU: Well, now we all know why Alex didn't kiss me [laughs] He likes someone else and that's good, I'll stop chasing him from here [sucks air through teeth] and on to the next one! [Raises hand triumphantly]
-
Moving on to the next segment, you prepare yourself for your act.
Sara is nice enough to let you know what the show is really about. When you ask everyone else, they believe that they're on a dating show and are here for partying and having fun and such.
Well, until... the cone-shaped talking pops out of its hiding and stops the party and the fun altogether.
"Hi, I'm Lana, and welcome to Too Hot Too Handle!"
Everyone stops talking and turns serious while deep inside you will find pleasure from their pain.
"You have been specially selected because you are all choosing meaningless sex over genuine relationships."
"That's true, though!" One of the males says and the other chuckles along.
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper emotional connections in your personal relationships."
Daniel seems to be taking the news badly, "I'm not here for that!" He comments.
"As always, there are conditions to your stay here. You must abstain from sexual practices for the entirety of your stay."
Everyone is groaning in frustration, covering their eyes as if not having sex will make them die.
"No kissing. No heavy petting. And no sex of any kind."
More groans are spilling out of everyone's mouth.
"This also applies to self-gratification."
Wait! You didn't know that you'll not be allowed to touch yourself. Your body and you can't do anything about it.
-
YOU: The second I saw Lana, I know it's bad. But I didn't know it's that bad. Can't even touch myself? What?
-
"However, to aid your development, I've increased the prize fund to $200.000."
That one gets everyone hyped and jumping in excitement, including you. Thinking of that much money, you can shrug all your financial problems away. 
"Each time the rules are broken, money will be deducted from the prize fund."
But this one gets you down immediately, there's a possibility that no money will be left with all these horny people locked in a villa together.
"Everyone, welcome to the retreat!"
"Ugh!"
-
YOU: Everyone is pissed off, including me. But you know, something about being told not to do something only makes me want to do it [bites lip]
-
No, you're not pissed off about it. Sex is something you can easily avoid doing, you just need to keep it in your pants and that's what you're going to do.
You want the prize so much and want to put your focus solely on that.
"How do you feel, babe?" Maeve asks while putting her wavy hair into a messy bun.
You're cleaning up your make-up with her with Heidi in the room, "I'm super bummed!" You lie.
"I'm here to have fun so... I'll continue to do that," Heidi eggs on the conversation.
Maeve nods in agreement, "Right!"
Going to the bedroom, you see the next struggle and that is choosing your bed. A few of them have chosen partners to share the bed with. You don't want to choose yet so you nudge Maeve's elbow, "Want to share a bed?"
She smiles at you, "I thought you'd never ask," she answers.
Everyone else is on the bed and you look around, catching someone staring at you from across your bed. It's Jamie.
"It's you," he points at you.
You raise an eyebrow at him and mouthed, "What?"
He turns his head to the side and shows his neck, "the kiss."
Instead of answering, you slump down the bed and giggle behind the duvet. You bet he can tell from the color of the lipstick mark.
However, from all the males you see, you can't guess yet which one of them kissed you. Alex can't be it, he's sharing the bed with Laura and looking comfortable there.
That leaves Jamie, Daniel, Cole, and Felix. It could be Jamie but...
"Goodnight, babe!" Maeve says as the lights are turned off for the night.
"Night, beautiful!" You greet back and you silently thank her for stopping you to think about boys when you should be thinking about the money.
Eyes on the prize.
-
The first day and you wake up feeling so disoriented. It's the timezone, the weather, and the blinding sun that greets you the moment you get out of the bedroom.
They provide swimwear in the closet for everyone to wear besides your own clothes. You pick a pair and put on your make-up after with Laura and Alex, not sure if either of them is trying to make you jealous.
It's the first day of the rules applied and you already need to remind yourself of the prize fund.
"Who do you like?" You curiously ask Maeve as you're in the pool together with Jamie.
"I like Felix," She answers without a beat.
It's an obvious answer. If this show has two main characters they would be Laura and Felix. The males go for Laura and the females for Felix. You haven't had time to speak to Felix in person then again, everyone in here is attractive. 
"I think he's just so hot and cute," Maeve adds.
Jamie splashes her with water, "you're blushing!"
Maeve giggles and splashes water back at him, "what about you? What is your type?"
You didn't expect she'll turn the table at you and that you're like a rabbit about to get hit by a car.
"Come on, you can say it. Brunette with a British accent, nice smile, nice hair," Jamie playfully says with a grin at you.
Maeve chuckles then comments, "I think you two look cute together!"
-
YOU: I think Jamie is cute, he's a goofball. We share a vibe and he always smells so good [laughs] I can't say anything yet but yeah, let's see.
-
There are five males and five females, everyone can pair up and be a couple but things don't work out that way. There are so many things to consider like chemistry and connection, etcetera. However, you believe everyone is just waiting for someone to break the rules to go further.
That seems to be plausible with Lana throwing a party tonight.
"We're matching!" Jamie says.
You chuckle seeing that the only matching thing you have with him is the color of the pants you're wearing.
"You look beautiful," he compliments.
You tease him by jutting your ass at him and looking over your shoulder while batting your eyes at him, "Thank you!"
Doesn't want to be tempted, he turns your body around and puts his arm around you to lounging outside. You bet that he will use the opportunity to tell you about his intention.
You haven't been in relationships for so long that you forget how nerve-wracking it is.
"Cheers!"
"Cheers!" You clink your glass with him before taking a sip.
The sky is so pretty and clear tonight that you can see the stars like pinpricks on the night sky. The breeze is warm and salty, it's not good for your hair, you spent almost an hour straightening your hair and it's ruined in ten minutes.
"So do you have anyone you like?" Jamie asks.
You put your glass away and shake your head, "Nah, not yet."
He stares deeply into your eyes, "well, I like you," he suddenly admits.
"Like it isn't obvious," you jokingly say.
He laughs and licks his lips which makes you glance at his lips, it's round and full, glistening wet. You look away before it gets too creepy.
"You're gorgeous and easygoing and so fun to be around," he starts by complimenting you.
You don't know how he can have that conclusion when you only know each other for one day, you go along with him and nod, "Yeah, I agree."
He shifts on the seat and leans in close, putting his arm on the back of your head, "You're the first that caught my eyes when I came."
It's hard to know if Jamie said that in all honesty or to merely impress you. You saw how Alex jumped from one girl to another in a span of a few hours so you can't just trust his words.
Remember that they're all here for a reason, they're horny and emotionally unavailable. Sadly, that's what your types are for the last few months.
"I was hoping you'd compliment me more," you joke.
He throws his head back as he cracks a laugh, "I think it's your time to compliment me back."
You fold your legs on the sofa and put a cushion on your lap to play with the lint to keep your brain stimulated, to prevent you from zoning out midway.
You look at him as he looks back at you with hopeful eyes, "I think you're absolutely fit, you have a nice smile and are tall enough—"
"Tall enough?" He asks, a little offended.
You chuckle at his reaction, "In the best way. I hate when a guy is too tall," you explain.
"Okay, continue..." he allows.
"And you always smell so good," you lean in to take a whiff of his perfume.
"Good, yeah?"
"Tell me the perfume you're wearing," you playfully ask.
He shakes his head, "Not when there's the chance to make you take a whiff of it from me."
Jamie places his hand on your knee and the gust of wind makes his hair tousled and makes him look double attractive. His light brown eyes pierce right through you with the gaze he locked you in.
"What is there not to like about you?" You conclude.
He props a hand to support his head as he looks down at you, "what do you think about us?"
To be honest, it's too early to say something about this relationship. Not only that you barely know him, you don't have the intention to have a relationship at all.
"There's something there but I don't know, not sure about it yet," you honestly answer.
The hand on your knee moves up to your thigh now. Damn! Jamie is smooth.
"Maybe once I get to know you better, I'd know," you hurriedly add before he gets the wrong idea.
The next thing you know, you get yourself in a pickle as you find him leaning closer to you and his hand that was on your thigh, now resting on your waist.
"Maybe if we kissed, we'd know each other better," his eyes are centered on your lips.
"You want to kiss?" You lower your voice, afraid that there are other people around you.
Jamie leans in closer until his nose meets yours, "So bad," he answers.
Is it why he smells so good? That his perfume isn't just perfume, but it's also pheromones? You hold his chin, unable to choose whether to turn him away or bring him close, finding it hard to resist him.
-
YOU: Jamie looking so good tonight. He's literally too hot to handle [dramatically rolls eyes]
-
Jamie leans in closer and an inch away from your lips when you put your hand on his lips, stopping him from kissing you.
"Stop!" You mewl at him.
Jamie looks a little taken aback, thinking that he can seal the deal tonight.
"I want to kiss you," you tell him with your thumb brushes over his lips.
"But..." You cup his jaw and slowly speak to him so your explanation is not lost in the middle, "I don't want us to be the first to rule break."
If you were out there in the wild, you'd be all over each other by now. However, you think about the money, and spending money this early in the show isn't worth it, well, for you. Other than that, being the first to break the rules will only get you so much shit from everyone.
-
YOU: If we were outside, I would have ripped his clothes already by now [laughs] [facepalm] Lana, you should be proud of me.
-
Jamie sucks air through his teeth and laughs this off, maybe he feels a little rejected, you bruise his ego. Men are fragile like that.
"It's hard for me too," you sincerely tell him and throw your arms around him, consoling him with a hug.
"I'll just give you another kiss on the neck, okay?" you proceed to do it, placing a soft kiss on his neck right below his ear.
You hear him lowly groan with eyes closed, "That's not... uh, make it better."
He puts a hand around you, keeping you close next to him, "what about sharing a bed?"
You laugh at how relentless he is. Not only it means putting you at a bigger risk to break the rules but also, he's being haste about this.
"I'd like that," you answer, earning a grin from him.
"But not tonight," you hurriedly add.
His hand slides down your head to play with the end of your hair, twirling it around his fingers. 
"Why not?"
The player recognizes the player and Jamie is giving you the eyes right now. You look away and snug to his side, "I hump in my sleep and I think you'd like that too much."
He cracks a laugh with his hand drawing you closer to him, "More reason to share a bed!"
-
YOU: It's too early to share a bed with anyone. I still want to get to know the other and... [shrugs] keep my options open.
-
The party is far from over but you feel tired from socializing, and worse is, you can't escape them since you're sharing a house with them for the rest of the month.
You decide to excuse yourself, going to the make-up room and powdering your nose, then staying there to sip your drinks in silence.
There are nine other people to get footage from so you don't have to worry about making it interesting for people to watch.
"Hey, I've been looking for you!"
You turn on your seat to see Maeve entering the room, "what's up, babe?"
She drags the chair next to you, then sits on it. She checks her hair in the mirror and brushes the end with her fingers.
"I'm thinking of talking to Felix," she finally answers.
You sip your drink before talking, "And why are you here?"
Maeve laughs at your playful response, she leans back on her seat and sighs, "I don't know I'm so nervous to talk to him," she says.
That should be your question but you know that Maeve doesn't seek an answer from you, she needs some encouragements.
"You're gorgeous and fun, I think he'll like you," you tell her with a gentle squeeze on her shoulder.
She warmly smiles at you and checks herself again in the mirror.
"But if you intend to break the rules, I suggest you apply matte lipstick," you poke fun at her.
"I should do that," she searches for her make-up bag from the cluttering mess on the long vanity table.
After sending Maeve out of the door with another encouragement in a form of a cheeky slap to her butt, you bring your drink with you to the bedroom, feeling so ready to end the day already.
The first thing you see are two bodies going at it on the bed in the corner. You don't know why but you stay there standing in the doorway of the bedroom, watching them kissing on the bed.
After a minute of observation, you're positive it's Heidi and Daniel.
You hear someone coming from behind you, you hurriedly turn around to find Jamie there.
"Get me more drinks?" You immediately ask him, trying to sound natural.
"Sure, yeah, been looking for you," he says, more than eager to take you back to the party.
It's the only right thing to do. He doesn't care about the rules and if he knew that someone has broken the rules, he will be more relentless than he already is.
-
Thankfully, Lana doesn't announce any rulebreaking behaviors for today, the party ends on a good note and everyone has their happy ending, at least for today.
But for you, you're just happy to finally get on the bed.
As Maeve climbs onto the bed after you, you can't wait but ask her about how the talk went. 
"So, how's the talk?"
From the lack of her usual radiance on her face, you can tell that it didn't go well. You regret asking about it.
Maeve scoots closer to you on the bed and leans in, keeping her head turns away from Felix's bed.
"I talked to him and he was nice, said he finds me cute and funny," she keeps her voice low.
"Well, that's great!" You comment, a little louder than you intend to.
Maeve puts on a thin smile, "yeah so I asked him if he has eyes for someone," she says.
"Yeah and?"
"He said he likes someone," she answers.
You playfully bump her shoulder, "and it's you."
"Else," she finishes her words, "he likes someone else."
She rests her head on your shoulder and you put your arm around her, comforting her with gentle squeezes on her shoulder.
"Does this mean you're going to stop trying or...?"
"Not sure," she shortly replies.
"He said you're beautiful and funny, you should focus on that and work your way from there," you comfort her.
Men are not only stupid, they're all short-sighted, and that's why they like everything big. Maybe at first glance, Felix didn't see Maeve clearly and that's why you encourage her to try once again so he can take another good look at her because who knows?
-
The morning alarm is ringing.
They set a time to let everyone know when to start their day even though a few of us have woken up earlier. The lights are on and greeting each other, barefaced with eyes still sleepy.
Jamie jumps onto your bed and gets between you and Maeve on the bed.
"Good morning, girls!" His voice is muffled by the pillow underneath.
Maeve gently pats his back, "Cuddles only!" She reminds him.
He lifts his head and looks at you, "Not going to lie but I was about to kiss her until you said that," he tells Maeve.
Jamie looks so fine with a bare face and his bedhead looks extra fluffy when it's tousled.
-
YOU: Good morning! It's a good day, clear sky, nice weather with no chance of sex. [Snorts]
-
When everyone is called to the cabana, you know that it's judgment time.
You feel calm knowing that you successfully refrained from breaking rules but you know that everyone is not going to be pleased that a few people spent a few thousand dollars last night. Including you.
So far, you only knew about Heidi and Daniel but there's a big chance that other people break the rules too. It's a big place, you can't keep track of everyone.
This secret you've been keeping is getting too hard to bear yourself. The only person you can share it with is Maeve and you're positive that she didn't break any rules, not that you know of.
"I walked in on Heidi and Daniel kissing," you whisper to Maeve.
"My Gosh!" She lowly gasps.
The sound of Lana's cone-shaped head chiming and your heart leaps. You're not ready to lose money, not when you have your credit card bills spilling out of your mailbox as you speak.
"I regret to inform that there are several rule breaks."
Several? So that means there's more than one rule break? You're doomed, everyone is doomed.
"Everyone better be telling the truth right now!" Cole says as the resident's sex cop.
Everyone is looking at each other and a few are looking very suspicious right now. You bet that Laura and Daniel broke the rules from the way they avoid everyone's eyes.
Heidi raises her hand like she's in a classroom, "So..."
And everyone groans, knowing that they are about to hear a piece of bad news.
"Daniel and I, we kissed in the bedroom," she admits.
It's good that Heidi decides to come clean but it's a bit upsetting that Daniel just sits there like he didn't take part in it.
"But that was it. Just one kiss!" She assures everyone.
Welp, that's $3000 down the drain. However, Lana continues to press everyone to confess.
"Let's just get it over with, guys!" Cole adds with gritted teeth.
Can't hold it in yourself for long, you call them out by the names, "Laura? Alex? Have anything to say?" You ask with a piercing gaze.
"We uh... we kissed," Alex may have a buff body and the tallest of the bunch but he's bad at being honest like all men are.
"But it's because we're sure we have a connection. That's why we kissed," Laura is, of course, backing her man and ready to claw people with her super-long acrylic nails.
"I don't care what all of you are saying. We—"
"You kissed for how many times?" Cole cuts her off with the most important question of all.
There's a moment of silence and that means it's bad.
"Twice. On the bed and the beach," Laura answers with no apologetic expression whatsoever.
"That's so selfish!" Maeve exclaims next to you and lets out a big sigh after.
The worst is Lana is still here and asking if anyone wants to own up to their shit. You don't even want to count the most you've lost, it's a lot.
"You've got to be kidding!" Jamie groans from the end of the sofa.
Not only that the truth costs everyone money but serves the juiciest drama needed for TV broadcasts.
"Daniel kissed me," Aly finally confesses.
Everyone's eyes dart at Daniel, he kissed two girls yesterday and put them in a fight after this. Heidi looks furious sitting next to him.
"I'm pretty sure he kissed me first then he kissed Heidi," she adds, her eyes throwing daggers at Daniel.
"This is a mess!" You quietly comment and plant your face in your hands.
"These rule breaks have cost the group a total of $12.000," Lana announces.
You groan into your hand thinking that much money can cover a couple of months of your rent and here these fools spending them to satisfy their wild desire.
-
YOU: From now on, I'll be thinking of a Chanel handbag every time I get the urge to kiss someone because that's how much it costs.
-
"There are a total of four rule breaks in the last 24 hours and the fine on any further rule break will be doubled as of this moment," Lana announces another shocking news.
-
YOU: Great! A kiss equals two Chanel handbags now. [Hand against forehead]
-
It was one hell of a way to start the day.
Everyone's mood turns sour after that and Cole, being the sex cop he is, doesn't stop preaching to everyone to not break any rules.
What you fear the most with rules has been broken more than once now, it's allowed everyone else to take their turn and that includes Jamie.
It's only about time that he'll start demanding a kiss from you. Don't get fooled, men are just as insecure as women but they mask it well with their huge egos.
You try to avoid him and hang out with Maeve instead, chilling by the pool.
"I heard Irish people are a great drinking buddy," you want to distract yourself from the reality show you're in.
"I wouldn't call myself a 'buddy' but yeah, we're good drinkers," Maeve answers with her playful laughs.
You dip your fingers in the pool water and mindlessly splash it around.
"Come to Ireland and I'll show you a good time," she says.
You snort thinking that with the debt you have, you can't afford to travel out of the country right now but you can't pass on the invitation.
"Okay, I'll just go there with my winning prize," you jokingly say.
"Oh, yeah, totally," she responds with giggles but her eyes are nowhere in your direction.
Following her line of vision, she is watching Felix working out with Alex and Cole at the beach. You take it that she hesitates to make a move on him after knowing that he likes someone else.
"You're going to talk to him again right?"
Considering that the outside world is off-limits, leaving all of you with no choice but to interact with each other. This also means that Maeve will have to get a move on him or try not to be awkward with Felix walking around the house for the next three weeks.
"Who do you think it is?"
"The one he likes?" You guess.
She nods, glints of curiosity filled her eyes, "yeah."
"Certainly not you," you joke and break into laughter.
"Ouch!" She splashes water at you.
-
YOU: Maeve thinks a lot when she has nothing to worry about. She should just do it.
-
The house is huge even for ten people living in it but you can't keep avoiding Jamie.
After dressing up to hang out in the firepit, you sit next to Jamie at ease with the presence of other people there. But that doesn't stop him from touching you, putting his hand around you to play with your hair and whatnot.
"We should have kissed yesterday," he suddenly says.
You lowly chuckle, "When it was cheaper?"
The wind keeps blowing your way, sending your hair flying around and making it messy. Jamie attentively puts the stray hair away and tucks them behind your ears.
"Do you still want to break the rules?" You ask out of curiosity.
"If you want to," he answers.
He fixes the collar of his shirt and looks at you, "what about you?"
You crinkle your nose at him, conflicted. On one side, you want to kiss him and see if there's a spark between you and him but on the other side, it costs two Chanel handbags.
You rest your head on his shoulder, "I just don't think we should be selfish by spending money recklessly," you honestly answer.
"Yeah..." he agrees but the sigh he lets out at the end tells you otherwise.
-
YOU: Jamie sounds a little disappointed that I don't want to break the rules. I mean, don't hate the player, hate the game!
-
The make-up room is crowded with the girls cleansing their faces and doing their bedtime routine. You decide to take the last turn, lounging on Jamie's bed to make up for not sleeping with him tonight.
"Are you guys going to sleep together tonight?" Aly asks from the bed across the room.
Jamie turns his head with an eyebrow raised at you, asking you the same question.
"Yes, we are," you finally answer.
Jamie can't hide his triumphant smile and it looks adorable on him, you can't help but smile along.
-
YOU: I don't want to feel pressured to do it but I owe it to Jamie to at least try and see if this relationship is going somewhere.
-
It's understandable for them to be nosy, it's what the viewers need, a little drama, a little action but what they need are the juicy details.
Before anyone else gets nosy, you start getting ready for bed. Wipes clean your make-up and go to the bathroom to wash up, someone else is showering inside the stall.
It's a normal occurrence. Honestly, everyone else is just so calm about seeing each other's body at this point.
However, the glass wall is blurry so you don't have to worry about seeing someone's naked body inside. You head to the sink and mind your own business.
As you're brushing your teeth, the shower door opens and a hand reaches out for a towel hanging by the handle. In the mirror, you see Felix steps out of the shower and your eyes eventually meet through the reflection and you reflexively smile with a toothbrush tugged between your teeth.
"Hey," he greets.
It surprises you that the deep voice belongs to him, "Hi," you greet back.
He walks toward you and you scoot to the side knowing that he needs to use the sink.
"You don't mind, right?" He asks, taking his toothbrush out of his toiletry bag.
You shake your head, "not at all."
It's hard to not see his body when he stands close next to you. Everyone in here has a nice body but on the first impression, you see him as this thin and dainty guy.
Now, you've seen him up close, he has one of the best bodies in the house, his muscles are perfectly toned and it shows that he diligently worked on his body.
"How's your day?" He casually asks with the towel hanging low around his hips.
"Alright, I guess," you answer.
"You?" You ask back while washing your toothbrush under the running water.
He looks at you and smiles, "just got better, actually," he answers.
Felix is definitely flirting and you immediately fill your mouth with water before stupid things come out of it. You decide to quickly wrap it up before someone else enters the space even though you're doing nothing.
-
YOU: Felix and I are just talking. There's— [inhales] he's low-key flirting with me and I freaked out, there I said it.
-
Maeve is already on the bed when you enter the bedroom and so is Jamie with a space prepared on the bed for you.
It would be rude to say nothing to Maeve that you'll not be sleeping with her, so you come to her first.
"I'm sleeping with Jamie," you tell her.
She slyly grins at you, "Should I give you the sex talk?"
"No, thank you, mom!" You grab your pillow and walk to Jamie's bed still laughing.
Jamie's smile grows wider the closer you get to his bed, he opens his arms to welcome you.
"Come here, sweet thing!" He playfully says.
You hit him with your pillow before coming into his hug. As you settle on his bed, Felix walks past your bed and flashes you a smile, a little different from the one he gave you earlier.
You forget that he sleeps on the bed next to Jamie's and you don't know how it suddenly feels awkward to you.
"Be good, you two!" Cole warns with a piercing glare.
"Not going to break any rules. You can have my words," you assure him despite Jamie nuzzling his nose onto your shoulder as you speak.
-
YOU: At least, that's what I hope. Being in bed with Jamie and try not to break rules will certainly not going to be easy. Ugh!
-
Once the lights are out, Jamie spoons you from behind with his arms wrapped around you. Not going to lie but it feels nice to be with someone.
"You smell so good," he whispers into your ear.
You don't respond, afraid that it will only encourage him to do more.
"You're so soft," he says again with his hand splayed on your bare stomach.
"Night, Jamie," you put an end to the talk.
That doesn't stop his hand from cuddling you and nuzzling his nose in your neck.
"No goodnight kiss?" He asks.
You take his hand and kiss it as a substitute, earning a low laugh from him.
Jamie kisses you on the neck in return, "Night!"
-
YOU: It's getting a little hot in here [fanning your neck]
-
The first thing Cole does when he wakes up is ask everyone an important question.
"Did anyone break any rules last night?"
You shake your head because as much as it's been hard to refrain from touching Jamie, you didn't do anything but cuddle under the cover.
"I can promise you we've been good in here!" Jamie confidently states and puts his arm around you.
Aly as Maeve's new bedmate, points at Laura and Alex's bed, "I definitely heard noises coming from their bed," she snatches on them.
Alex may have a good poker face but you can't say the same with Laura, she's looking guilty but the kind that tells she's not sorry for doing it.
"You may as well spill the truth now," Daniel eggs in.
Laura nonchalantly shrugs as if she's not been acting selfishly when it's only about time that Lana announces how much money we've lost because of them.
-
YOU: I'm proud that Jamie and I managed to not break any rules last night. I hope that proves that we do have a real connection.
-
It's too late for you to walk out as Felix sees you coming into the bathroom.
You walk to the sink to grab your toiletry bag you forgot to take with you, "I can't believe our meet cute is in the bathroom," you say.
He laughs hearing your words while struggling to put sunblock on his back.
"Need help?"
He considers it for a moment then nods, "Yes!"
You take the tube of sunblock from him, pressing a big dollop of the cream on your hand and slowly lathering it on his honey skin. His skin is smooth and warm with muscles that make his back the perfect spot to lean on.
"So, you and Jamie, huh?" he suddenly asks, looking at you through the reflection in the mirror.
The question snaps you out of your daze. You're thankful that he can't see your face as you're busy making sure the sunblock is covering his back evenly.
"Yes," you shortly reply.
He hums while subtly nodding his head, "And what do you think?"
You play dumb but it's also because your hands wander to his lats and they're distracting, "of what?"
Felix leans forward with hands resting against the sink, "is it serious?"
You silently gulp air because his question only means that he has an interest in your relationship which also means that he has...
"We're still figuring each other out," you settle with a diplomatic answer for him.
You glide your hands back up to lather the sunblock down his shoulder blades.
"I see," he responds with a smile.
And not just a smile, a smile that tells he got the answer he wants.
You slide your hands down his arms and playfully squeeze his biceps, "there! Done!"
He takes the sunblock back from you and checks himself in the mirror, "thank you."
Felix raises his hands for a high-five with you, "Let's have a great day!"
You smile at him and return the high-five, "Let's do it!"
-
YOU: Maeve likes Felix and I'm obviously team hoes before bros. Always!
-
"Blue looks good on you!"
It's another day of Jamie's endeavors to kiss you, starting the conversation by complimenting your bikini. He joined you sunbathing by the pool in the afternoon, sharing a sun lounger.
"Thank you!" You reply with a smile with your eyes squinting under the bright sun.
His hand is squeezing your arm, "you got some muscles here," he says.
"I played volleyball in high school," you share.
Propping a hand under his head, he looks down at you, "I want to see you play volleyball."
You chuckle, "That was years ago. I forgot how to play."
"Must be looking sexy serving ball in tight shorts," he lowers his head into your neck.
You burst out laughing and slip your hand in his soft locks, "that sounds so wrong."
Not only that you're out in the open, it's rather dangerous with how close he is and his lips looking inviting as he plants it on your shoulder.
It's only right that you distract him by giving him a little taste but not too much, enough to make him crave more.
"Do it for me?" You ask with a bottle of sun spray in your head.
"I'd love to," he eagerly says.
Jamie sprays on parts of the body he wants to touch, all over your back as you lay on your stomach and down to your asscheek, excessively kneading on them.
You laugh at how he can't stop himself that you eventually have to turn over so he can continue, spraying your shoulders.
You take off the straps around your neck so he can spray your chest and sneaks his hand on the valley between your breasts.
"Yeah, get in there!" You playfully encourage him.
Jamie grins like a child who got caught taking a cookie out of the cookie jar. He then continues to spray on your abdomen and evenly rub them down your thighs next while glancing into your eyes once in a while.
To say that you don't enjoy teasing him would be a lie.
-
YOU: Jamie becomes more relentless by the day but am I wrong to not want to rule break? Isn't that the purpose of this retreat?
-
As the day turns to night, it's only about time until everyone got called to the cabana.
You feel sick listening to the sound of Lana's cone-shaped body chiming, especially with Laura and Alex acting so suspiciously.
Lana is a computer but she sounds not pleased as she greets everyone. Cut to the announcement, she informs that Laura and Alex did break the rules last night.
You glance at Cole who got speechless that he's just looking at Alex in disbelief.
"These rule breaks cost the group $18.000."
-
YOU: For three kisses? Really? Lana, please, be reasonable with the prices.
-
"That's not the only rule break they committed," Lana spills more truth.
This is what you fear the most, getting riled by the whole group for breaking the rules. Everyone looks at both Laura and Alex waiting for them to confess.
"I touched his willy under the cover," Laura confesses.
Everyone groans in unison.
You don't know how Laura is okay being so selfish and can keep a straight face, but that's probably why her make-up is super thick.
"This rule break costs the group a further $4.000."
"Why would you do that?" Maeve asks and she rarely gets this mad.
"It's not a big deal!" Laura nonchalantly responds.
"Yeah but not for $4.000!" Heidi snaps at her, as furious as everyone.
"Now the prize fund stands at $166.000."
-
YOU: I can use that money as a deposit for a house and here we are, spending it on kisses and a hand down a guy's trouser.
-
The night gets darker not only on the outside but inside the house as well.
Lana sends Laura and Alex to the suite to test if they're building a true connection but everyone is skeptical that they'll pass the test.
You sit on the bed with Jamie resting his head on your lap, brushing his hair to relax you now that you've lost a chunk of money.
"Alex is like the horniest people and Laura is the biggest teaser, it's a recipe for a disaster," Aly comments, lying on her stomach on the bed opposite yours.
"They will rule break once or twice at least," Jamie adds his opinion.
The night ends early but you see that Maeve and Felix haven't returned yet to their respective beds. You hope that things are going well with them.
You nuzzle your head into Jamie's chest and murmur, "We haven't broken any rules," you tell him.
"Yet," Jamie continues your words clasping your hand with his.
You look at him and smile as he looks back at you, "We've been good and I'm proud."
He foolishly smiles and opens his arms to invite you for a hug. You jump right into his embrace and those muscles on his body feel pillowy under you.
Jamie pulls the duvet to cover both of your bodies even though the lights aren't out yet. You squeal as he starts to glide his hands down your sides.
-
YOU: I appreciate Jamie for being so patient because I know, it was hard for me to not throw myself at him.
-
"We don't need another rule break tonight!"
Cole pulls the duvet down to reveal that the two of you are just tickling each other under the cover.
At the same time, Felix makes his way to his bed, seeing you straddling Jamie on the bed which sends you to get off of him immediately.
It's unclear why you do that but your eyes go straight to Maeve's bed, it's empty even when the lights are already out.
You nestle your head in Jamie's neck as he lightly touches up and down your arm and kisses your hand once in a while.
You plant a soft kiss on his neck and whisper, "Night."
He kisses you back on the head, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: I start to believe that maybe Jamie and I do have a genuine connection [smiles]
-
Everyone is looking restless from the moment they woke up and looks in shambles once they gathered in the cabana, ready for that time of the day.
After a while, Laura and Alex are returning from the suite. You recognize the glow on Laura's face right away but you could be wrong.
God! You hope you're wrong and they didn't do anything selfish last night.
You're spacing out as Lana comes with her anxiety-inducing ping sounds and all you can think about is how much money Laura and Alex spent last night.
"They're looking suspicious," Aly whispers at you.
Indeed, they are, and looking very guilty as well. Everyone waits in anticipation as Lana takes her time to announce whether they pass the test or blow all the money in one night.
"I must tell the group that Laura and Alex did..."
You hold your breath for the worst outcome.
"Not..."
It's getting harder to breathe now.
"Break any rules!"
Everyone shoots up from their seats and congratulates the couple in turns. You got so far in life that you get to celebrate people for not having sex.
-
YOU: So they can keep it in their pants! I'm proud!
-
Lana has another announcement after everyone settled in from the celebration.
"To motivate everyone to grow genuine feelings of connection as opposed to lust, I've prepared gifts for all of you."
You take the box in front of you and open it to reveal a watch inside.
"When I observe two people forming genuine connections, they will be given a green light like this."
Everyone's watch chimes and turns green at the same time.
"While the lights are green, the rules do not apply for a limited amount of time."
Cole claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "There's no more excuse for anyone to break any more rules!"
-
YOU: This [shows the watch] motivates me to build a connection with Jamie. Hope we get to be the first to get the green light.
-
After a very stressful morning that thankfully ends with a happy ending, you can have the room to breathe since the boys are out of the house to do a workshop at the beach.
The girls are hanging out in the bedroom and with the drama going on earlier, you forgot to ask Maeve why she went to bed late last night.
To get a little privacy, even though you can't get any with cameras placed in every crook and nook of the villa, you take her to the make-up room. You sit next to her while fixing your make-up in the mirror.
"Is everything okay?" You ask.
Maeve sits with both feet up on the chair and looks down at her nails, "not okay, honestly," she answers.
You stop looking at the mirror and turn your chair to face her, "why? What happened?"
Maeve hugs her folded legs and looks at you, a sad smile on her face.
"I just don't know what I'm doing here..."
You place your hand on her knee, "hey, don't say that!"
"I'm not making connections with anyone and I tried, but it's not working. I-I don't know why I'm here," she says with a heavy sigh at the end of the sentence.
It seems like things aren't going well between her and Felix, and Maeve is someone with low self-esteem, which makes her somewhat dejected that things didn't go well.
"You don't have to be a couple to make progress, you know," you comfort her and it's true, Cole is proof that he's fine not being in a pair and dedicates himself as an avid protector of the prize money instead.
"I'm not pretty. No one wants to be with me," she breaks into tears and buries her head in her hands.
You get up from the chair to hug her, "First of all, everyone here is pretty and it's not a beauty pageant, okay?" You comfort her while slightly bending down with your arms around her.
"It's not about look. It's about chemistry, attraction, and stuff," you awkwardly explain.
You have no talent in comforting someone but you try your best. After a moment, Maeve lifts her head and looks at you.
"No one is attracted to me," she says with her fingers carefully dabbing the corner of her eyes to avoid ruining her make-up.
You scoff and turn the chair to face her before sitting on it, "you are so beautiful, Maeve," you assure her with both hands holding hers.
Maeve puts down her feet and your clasped hands dropped onto her lap, "I know," she half-heartedly agrees.
"For you, I'll fly to Ireland and come see you, we'll get drunk and have so much fun," you cheer her up with nice thoughts while shaking her hands.
Maeve cracks a laugh and you can see that she starts to get hopeful again. She's a genuinely kind person which is not someone you expect to meet here, you think of her as a friend despite it happening because you both are in a reality show.
A crazy idea crosses your head, "you know what? We can be a couple and win the money," you tell her.
-
YOU: I'm bad at comforting people and the only thing I know how to comfort someone is through actions [slyly smiles]
-
She laughs at your wild suggestion that it takes her a while to reply to you, "I'd love that, yeah," she jokingly answers.
An even crazier idea crosses your head, "come here then," you tell her, pulling her close until your heads meet in the middle.
Maeve senses your intention but not doing anything to stop you, instead, she leans in first to kiss you.
You kiss her back as she softly brushes her lips on yours over and over again. She tastes so sweet and warm, she knows how to use her tongue and not overdo it, and overall, one hell of a good kisser.
You pull away first as the reality that someone might walk in on you dawns on you.
"Did we just break the rules?" Maeve asks while wiping her smeared lipstick.
"You'd better have a good poker face!" You warn her.
-
YOU: Goodness! Maeve is a good kisser and that kiss... I think that was the best $6.000 I ever spent. No regret at all.
-
The boys are back just in time for another party Lana is throwing tonight.
The theme is Saints and Sinners and there's a box of costumes for everyone to wear. You choose to be an angel with wings even though you've been behaving badly after breaking the rules earlier.
He sits you on his lap even though the sofa is spacy enough for another two persons but you feel safe since Alex and Laura are there, cuddling in the smaller sofa across from yours.
"So, what did you do in the workshop?" You ask Jamie.
He takes a deep breath and his chest heaving along with yours, "we learned how to be more open with our feelings."
You nod along and leer over at him, "And how did it go?"
Jamie rests his chin on your shoulder with a hand resting on your stomach, "Well, I'm never good at it but I think I did alright."
He doesn't sound so convincing but you appreciate the effort.
"You look beautiful, babe!" He compliments you along with a gentle squeeze on your thigh.
You're immune to sweet nothings like this but a compliment is a compliment. You smile and mutter, "Thank you!"
You slip your hand into the opening of his shirt, "I like your shirt," you compliment back with a seductive smile.
He sees your hand slide in further into his shirt, "should have let another button open."
Jamie keeps checking his watch hoping that the light turns green soon.
You doubt that a few compliments can do it and silently laugh at his fruitless effort. 
-
YOU: I'll always be physically attracted to Jamie but I don't know. I can't tell if I doubt myself or him, or us, entirely [clicks tongue]
-
The time for doom is here.
You exchange nervous glances with Maeve knowing what we've done would damage the numbers on the prize fund. You doubt that it's what Laura felt when she broke the rules because what you're feeling is a sense of guilt but that's solely because you behaved selfishly, not for the kiss.
"Hours after receiving the gifts of my watches, a couple of you decide to break the rules by kissing," Lana announces.
Everyone's eyes land on Alex and Laura since they're the regular rulebreakers. Just know that they'll be surprised once they found out who did it.
"You know the routine. Just spill it!" Cole sounded so done at this point.
You hate to break his trust but you don't feel bad for breaking the rules, not when you have a good intention. Your heart is pounding for how much shit you'll get either from admitting it or don't, you choose the former.
"It was me," you blurt out with a hand raised.
Jamie snaps his head at you, eyes wide filled with confusion because he knows for damn sure you didn't kiss him or vice versa.
"I'm not going to name names who I did it with and why," you quickly add and it's the only right thing to do, you don't want to force Maeve to speak out unless she wanted to.
"I'm sorry," you apologize.
Jamie looks even more confused but his eyes are scanning the guys one by one even though it isn't any of them you kissed.
"I'm sorry, Cole," you apologize to him personally since he's the one who gets sensitive the most about the money.
Maeve raises her hand and decides to admit it as well, "she did it with me."
They let out a collective gasp, laughter, and sneaky eyes going on after. Jamie squeezes your shoulder but not saying anything to you.
"Another $6.000 has gone from the prize fund, leaving the group with $160.000," Lana furtherly informs.
Funny that you didn't about the money at all when you kiss Maeve. Probably because you know that you intend to rebuild Maeve's confidence, so she's not giving up on herself and continues her journey here.
However, when it comes to Jamie, you're still not sure if you want to spend $6.000 on a kiss with him.
-
The rule break doesn't seem to leave that much impression on everyone.
Maybe because they give you a pass because it's your first time breaking the rule and the night ends in peace or that's what you thought.
You're chatting with Aly in the firepit to avoid the crowded make-up room when suddenly Felix comes behind you. You didn't notice until Aly sends you a signal with her eyes.
"Can I talk to you?" He asks.
Aly gets the hint and decides to leave, "I'll excuse myself then."
You've spent a couple of times alone with him even though they only last for a few minutes, but this time is different, no one is around except for the filming crew lurking in the bushes or somewhere you're not aware of.
The sofa could fit a couple of dozen people but Felix decides to sit next to you.
"Hi," he sweetly greets.
"Hi, how are you?" You ask with a smile.
His legs are spreading wide and he has gaping holes in his jeans, exposing bits of his thighs that you found are surprisingly muscular.
"I'm good," he answers, doing the classic move of putting his arm on the headrest of the sofa, "how about you?"
Your body somehow responds by putting your leg over the other and leaning towards him, "Never been better."
Felix gets quiet but his eyes are deeply looking into your eyes as if he found something fascinating in them. A while later, he clears his throat as he slightly slouched on the sofa, legs spreading wider, sending the holes in his jeans to stretch and expose more of his skin.
"During the workshop, we were taught to open up about our feelings and I–" He pauses to scratch his small nose and continues with an uneasy glance at you, "I know what I want and I want to do it. I know I'll regret it if I don't."
"Okay," you respond while nodding along and at times, getting distracted by the holes in his jeans.
"I know you're with Jamie and I don't mean to break things between the two of you but I feel like... I need you to know that I like you."
Felix talks without a beat and with the intense stare he's giving you, you gulp air feeling nervous but in an exciting kind of way.
"I like you," he says again.
Your heart starts to race because you can feel how much he meant all of his words.
-
YOU: Oh my God! The hottest man in this retreat likes me?!
-
"You don't have to do anything about it," he casually says as if he didn't just put you in a predicament since you're with Jamie.
Felix retracts his hand and accidentally or not, brushes his hand on your shoulder. He gives you the faintest of physical contact but enough to send a shiver down your spine.
Still speechless by his sudden confession, but you know you should have said something to him to avoid him getting the wrong idea.
"Thank you for letting me know," you begin.
"You're very welcome!" He excitedly responds with a wide grin.
"But let me know if you want to do anything about it," he adds with a playful grin.
Something about him makes you warm inside, you can feel your cheeks heating, flustered with his eyes never straying away from yours even for a second.
The night is late and the fireplace is laying low, swaying with the gentle breeze coming from the sea, Felix's lips suddenly look so inviting, enticing you like a forbidden apple.
This is dangerous. 
"Let's head inside," he says, thankfully being the one putting a brake on the imminent danger.
-
YOU: This is honestly what I seek with Jamie, that excitement, that sparks and it's a problem that I got it from someone else without any sort of physical contact whatsoever.
-
"So, Maeve, is she a good kisser?" Jamie asks as he sits with you on the bed.
Maeve sips water from her tumbler before answering, "The best!"
She takes another sip before talking again, "You're in for a treat, Jamie."
He glances at you with an impressed smile, "Too bad that I can't confirm that," he says.
That's his way to dig at you for what you did. You understand that he feels betrayed by what you did, you refuse to kiss him but easily kissed someone behind his back.
You put your hand across his chest and look at him, "Are you mad?"
"Nah," he coyly answers.
You bring your mouth close to his ear, "are you jealous?"
Jamie chuckles as your breath tickles his ear, "A bit, yeah."
You kiss his cheek and deliver your apology with a heartfelt whisper, "I'm sorry, baby."
-
YOU: I, of course, feel bad for not giving Jamie the heads up about the kiss I did with Maeve. He looks rather upset but I know I deserve it.
-
It's probably luck that follows you throughout the times you spent in the retreat.
Everyone forgot about your rulebreaking as Daniel decides to get a new bed partner. He used to sleep with Heidi but tonight, he decides to sleep with Aly.
You nudge Jamie who's sleeping with his head nuzzles in your neck to witness the drama happening in the room.
His mouth opens in surprise while you look at Heidi who's slumped down on the bed.
"You okay?" You mouth at her.
"No," she mouths back.
You turn to look at Jamie, "Oh my God!" You lowly gasp.
"I feel bad for Heidi," Jamie whispers.
"Me too," you say back behind the duvet at Jamie.
-
YOU: Let's say we never know what's going to happen next [shrugs]
-
The mood the next morning has been set to gloomy with the drama that happened last night.
The good news is there's no sign of anyone breaking any rules and the bad news is that Jamie seems to not moving on from your kiss with Maeve yet.
Jamie is usually chipper whenever he's with you, except for today, he seems distant even though you're working out together by the beach.
"Tighten your glutes," he instructed.
You play dumb since that's the most successful way to win a guy's heart, "tighten my what?"
Jamie chuckles and enthusiastically shows you the parts of your body you need to work on, the back of your thighs and legs. His hands don't skip the chance to rub over the curve of your ass.
"Can you feel it?" He asks as he guides you to do a proper squat by standing right behind you.
You intentionally nudge his crotch with your ass, "oh yeah, I can feel it," you answer with giggles.
By working out, you hope that it would help to release tension between you and Jamie, it worked but in the process, you're getting that tingling down there with his hands constantly touching you.
You collapse onto the yoga mat from doing a plank and groan, "Ugh... I'm so horny."
Jamie laughs as he helps you get up from the mat.
-
YOU: I realized now that maybe Jamie needs validation, he needs more than just words from me. Maybe I have to do something about it [raises an eyebrow]
-
Before you can set a plan, Lana calls everyone to the cabana.
Not sure if anyone breaks any rules but you feel sick in the stomach whenever you sit down and face her cone-shaped body.
Cole is getting ready to put his laser eyes on anyone who breaks the rules.
"No one break any rules last night," Lana announces.
Everyone seems to be letting out a sigh of relief and you feel guilty just from thinking about doing a rule break later for Jamie.
"With the couples seeming to form deeper bonds, it's time to establish how committed to each other you really are," Lana states.
Couples? You are positive you and Jamie are included in it.
"By sending some of you on dates..." Lana continues.
-
YOU: The question is... Who's going on a date? I would love to go on a date with Jamie.
-
Now everyone starts to hold their breath again with Lana dragging each piece of information just to torture all of you.
"With new arrivals," Lana finally finishes.
This is not a good time for Lana to intervene, not when you plan on taking things further with Jamie. Also, new arrivals mean that they're not adapted to the rules yet, they'll be uncontrollable, horny babies like... well, everyone here a week ago.
"The first arrival is... Mia," Lana announces.
The guys snickered in joy, excited even just from hearing the girl's name.
"I have given her a choice of dating one of the boys currently in couples."
Your mouth hangs open in surprise, you're wrong to underestimate Lana's power and that she owns this game, she's the mastermind.
"She has selected..."
-
YOU: I hate to think about it but I have an inkling that this Mia girl is going to choose Jamie [leans back on the sofa]
-
"... Jamie."
The timing is impeccable.
Things are going well between you and Jamie, then Lana, being the girl boss she is, decides to ruin all of that.
You look at Jamie and he looks slightly pleased that he got chosen.
You're spacing out the rest of the time Lana announces another arrival, a boy who chose Laura to be his date.
It's unclear whether you're jealous about him going on another date or you regret holding yourself back from him all these times.
Jamie rubs his hand up and down your arm, briefly kisses your cheek, then says, "You have nothing to worry about."
How come you trust his words when you've witnessed all these bed hoppings and jumping ships happened overnight?
-
YOU: What Jamie said only makes me even more worried. Lana said it's a test so this Mia girl must be sexy, and speaks three languages or something. You know, like a girl version of Alex.
-
Maeve is helping you style your hair for tonight.
"How do you feel about Jamie going on a date with someone?" She asks.
You shrug and sigh, sending the powder you're holding flying around your face.
"I just hope she's ugly," you jokingly answer.
"Hate to break the news but I think she's hot and a potential rulebreaker," Maeve decides to pour salt on your wound instead of soothing it.
"It's not that I don't care but I decide not to care," you explain.
You finish your make-up with a setting spray and check yourself again in the mirror, "but you know, deep down, I'm scared, shitless," you admit.
It's getting more nerve-wracking waiting for Jamie to come back from his date. Maeve keeps you occupied with happy thoughts, telling you fun things you can do in Ireland with her.
The other girls low-key comfort you by complimenting your looks. It's a nice gesture except that no one died and you're not in mourning, you just want this to get over with.
Laura is the first one to come back, guiding the new arrival by linking her arm with his.
She introduces Killian around, an Irish man who's just the perfect match for Maeve.
Killian is a great distraction, his accent is attractive and so is his smile. You keep nudging Maeve's elbow to send her hints.
Maeve replies by elbowing your side and you thought she was being playful, then turn your head around to see Jamie has came back from his date.
"Oh shit. She's hot!" Aly exclaims.
You bite your tongue and put your lips together, not wanting to lose your calm easily. There are only two possibilities, Jamie stays with you, or not.
As Jamie pulls you to the make-up room, you know it's time for him to decide.
"How was the date?" You ask with a smile.
"It was nice. We had champagne and fruits and cheeses," he gives you an answer that you don't expect.
You silently gulp air and keep on putting on a smile for him, "Sounds lovely!"
The moment passed in silence is deafening and you need to burst it. You clear your throat and hold the hand on his lap.
"So... are you here to tell me I was right for not worrying you?" You joke.
Jamie awkwardly laughs at your question and that you're right for worrying him. A part of you is in denial that you're not chosen but another part of you decides to shut him out right here, right now.
"I want to tell you that Mia and I... I think we have something going on between us and I want to get to know her more," he slowly explains.
This heart is fickle, you decided not to care but you feel a sting in your chest when he told you that.
"You're saying you chose her?" You ask for confirmation.
Jamie takes your other hand, afraid that you run away before he can explain.
"No, I'm staying with you and openly telling you that at the same time, I want to get to know Mia," he refuses your words when it's exactly what he wants.
Other girls would give him the chance but not with you, if Jamie chose her then he should stay with her. There's no use for you and him to stay together if he wants to get to know someone that isn't you.
"Jamie you can't do that. You either stay with me or be with her, you have to choose!" You insist on him settling on a decision.
-
YOU: Apparently, Jamie wants to have his cake and eat it too [shakes head]
-
You get it that Jamie is conflicted because he still likes you but the other girl offers him something that you don't give to him.
"I like you. I still want to be with you," Jamie persists.
His words are not aligned with his action. You shake your head and put his hands away, "it sounds like you're asking me to wait for you while you're getting it on with someone else."
That seems to put the nail in the coffin that he got speechless. The disappointment got to you that you and if you stayed longer, you're afraid you would say something you didn't mean to him.
"You've made your choice, Jamie," you tell him.
-
YOU: To say that I'm disappointed is an understatement. I'm livid, I'm... I was planning to take things further but yeah... [brushes hair to the back] Mia happens.
-
Can't believe that you'll be the one serving drama tonight.
You stall in the make-up room, not wanting to get to the bedroom yet. You're drying your hair after a shower and sitting there for a minute, just taking everything in and trying to let it go.
Taking a deep breath, you keep a straight face as you push the door into the bedroom and have no choice but to share a bed with Heidi since Maeve is sharing the bed with Killian.
"You alright, babe?" She quietly asks.
You hold your forehead and slump down on the bed, "it's shitty."
She gently squeezes your elbow, "yeah."
You lay down on the bed and avoid the eyes looking back and forth between you and Jamie. You may decide not to care but seeing him sleeping with another girl right in front of your eyes, hurts.
You cover your eyes with your hand and mumble, "I just want to get this day over with."
-
YOU: Jamie has decided so he has to live with that decision. Good luck, I guess.
-
If it weren't for her, Jamie would have stayed with you and you wouldn't be waking up to Heidi lowly snoring next to you.
Mia might have seduced him but it wouldn't happen if Jamie remained faithful so you decide to blame him, not her.
This is probably what Maeve felt that day when she cried, defeated, and dejected.
But Jamie has to try harder if he wants to see you cry.
 "How are you feeling, sexy?" Maeve asks as she waddles in the swimming pool.
You sit on the edge with your feet dipped in the sun-warm water, "I don't know, really," you shrug.
She holds onto your leg, clinging to it to stay afloat, "You're better than her, trust me, she's not that attractive if you looked at her long enough."
You know that she's not saying that out of spite, she said all that to make you feel better.
"Saying unkind things about her doesn't make me better, Maeve," you tell her with a glare.
"I'm sorry but it's true," she says with a subtle shrug.
-
YOU: Jamie and I [sighs] We hugged, we cuddled, we slept in one bed together. I don't want to care but the truth is... I care.
-
The day drags on and you're more than happy to get to your bed except that you're not ready to see Jamie and Mia cuddling on the bed you used to sleep on.
You're hanging out with Maeve in the make-up room while she's braiding your hair to pass the time.
"We can sleep together. I'll just tell Killian—"
"And risks Heidi stealing him from you?" You cut her off with a joke.
Maeve laughs as she tied the end of your hair with an elastic band and fixes the loose hair on the back of your head.
"Enough about me. How about you and Killian?"
Maeve plops down on the chair next to you and takes a hairbrush from the table, slowly combing the end of her hair.
"We chatted a lot but not sure if we have that connection," she answers.
"But don't worry, we're getting along just fine," she assures you in response to your concerned expression.
"Is it perhaps because you haven't moved on from Felix?"
Asking her that is like walking on eggshells and you're doing it carefully. Mostly because Felix confessed that he likes you that making it seems that way to you.
"Oh come on! I've moved past that," she answers while twirling her hair around her fingers.
You consider telling her about Felix's confession that night but it comes to no use, the retreat has come halfway to finish and you're not sure if Felix still likes you.
It's close to lights out and you step into the bedroom with Maeve.
Heidi is already taking half of the bed with her long legs that you have to scoot close to the edge to lie down.
"Goodnight, everyone!" Aly says to everyone in the room and getting sleepy mumbles in return.
-
YOU: When I think about it, I'm seeing Lana more than my therapist [uneasy smiles]
-
This is not how you want to start the day.
You don't want to hear what Jamie and Mia did or how they spent $20.000 last night. He probably has pent-up tension and finally got to release it with her.
"You got the watches, man!" Cole is coming at him.
You sit back and watch it from the end of the sofa on how Jamie is trying to explain himself.
"I know you won't believe me but Mia and I, we have a connection," he explains.
"Why not act right and get rewarded?" Cole is jabbing him with words.
"You won't understand," Jamie says with a defeated sigh.
-
YOU: Maybe that's why I doubted Jamie. I can see it now, the bright side [smirks]
-
Nothing says a fresh start than doing yoga with Heidi.
Apparently, she is a licensed instructor and you feel a whole lot better after stretching your body to the limit.
You share the shower with Maeve to cut the time and get ready to dress up.
As you're applying your lipstick, Lana chimes in and makes you jolt in your seat.
Maeve's mouth drops open and she stops curling her hair altogether.
"Hello, ladies!"
"Hi, Lana," you nervously answer and push your chair away from the table.
Then she calls your name and you almost choke on air.
"Y-yes?"
"I'm offering the chance to go on a date with Felix " Lana informs out of the blue.
"Me?" You ask in disbelief.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks.
You turn to look at Maeve to remind yourself to be a good friend and a good friend avoid hurting her friend's feelings.
"Shouldn't we make them wait for at least 48 hours for an answer, Lana?" You playfully respond.
Maeve kicks your feet under the table, "what are you doing? Say yes!"
"Then how about you?" You blabber, not expecting that she gives you the blessing to go on a date with her former crush.
"What about me?" She asks in pure confusion.
"Don't you like him?"
Maeve excessively sighs, "I told you I've moved on!"
She kicks your feet again, "Hurry! Say yes!"
You turn to look at Lana in her mixed purple-hued lights and hesitate to say yes. Not only it means you have to start it all over again, but also letting yourself open for another heartbreak.
"Would you like to attend?" Lana asks once again.
-
YOU: I'm not sure if I'm ready to try and restart [sighs]
-
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idontcare4urmom · 3 months
Text
wrong || matt sturniolo
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stepbrother!matt x fem!reader
summary: where your dad found a new woman on his life after one year of your mom's death,so you are forced to live all together after a lot of pressure,but what you didn't know yet is that her son is a total temping being that will send you over the edge..in many ways.
warnings: smuttt,unprotected sex,not proofread,porn with plot,dirty talk,eating out,pet-names,suggestive,scratching,tits sucking,etc.
a/n: my first language is not English,this sure has some grammar or other errors so i am sorry<3
."🎀".
"what the fuck you mean we have to move in with her?" you were basically shouting on your dad,and you weren't sure if you were more annoyed at the fact that he had moved on so far already or cause he didn't even cared to ask you if you acknowledge with it.
"i told you too many times that this is a very big and important step to me honey,besides her place is absolutely flawless,you will love it" his words only made you angrier,but you decided not to push it anymore since you knew deep down it would be waste of time,he had made his decision.
--------------------------------------
the days passed quickly,and you found yourself holding your suitcase in front of a captivating building that would change a part of your life for many years,at least your dad did not lie,it was trully more than luxurious,so with a deep sigh you walked until the doorway with him,your anxious levels on high.
after a few knocks the door opened to reveal a surprisingly tall,appealing woman standing there,with brunette silky highlights and a pretty good enough shaped body,the sight made you furrow although you could tell why your father had fallen for her.you were caught off guard when you were the one she even pulled into an embrace first and seemed in general eager to meet you.
"oh sweetie your dad has told me many things about you,i am Lana,come in,come in" you didn't had much time to process because she was pushing your hand gently inside,your eyes widening as you took in the house with your eyes,it was for sure bringing vibes of a cozy,modern place.
you didn't want to be in your normal pissy mood for the reason that she was treating you politely for now,so you made a small comment "wow,the decoration is really nice"
"oh thank you,i want you to be comfortable and feel welcomed here,you can go check the guest room that will be your own,is down the hall,if you need any help just call out my name" you nodded a little and began making your way towards the apparently new space you will probably spend most of the day at.
but,without realizing a sudden unrecognized human figure appeared in front of you while making it's way to another room,making you leave a small yelp from your lips "who are you?"
the blye eyed boy raised an eyebrow once he heard the question,letting a sarcastic laugh as he spoke "very ironic for someone to ask when they are the one in my house" oh? well he had sure attitude for the few seconds you had met him. you were about to say something in response even so he continued, a sheepish grin forming on his lips when he examined your presence through his dark eyelashes "wait..you must be my stepsister"
"huh?" was the only word you could express,you were incredibly confused--who was he? "i am Lana's son, Matt,no one informed you about me?" it was like he was able to read your thoughts,it only creeped you out more.
"no..my father must forgot to announce your existence to me" the words snarked out of your tongue as you were trying hard to act sassy,but for a disguise,cause shit the more you were observeting him the more perfect he got.
he had the necessary amount of beard to sense in case he ever trailed kisses down your body,his blue orbs seemed like they could stare deep into your soul yet in a enjoyable way,and hell those fingers were too distracting for no reason,especially with those silver rings that were practically begging for attention.just any of his facial features were ideal--however you weren't supposed to fall for him,it would be wrong.
you snapped out of your thoughts when there was a sound of a familiar voice snapping across the end of the hall,approaching the both of you excitedly,even though she was addresing specifically to you "i see you guys met,sorry darlin' i forgot to have a quick chat with you about that i have a kid..anyway he may be a pain sometimes but i am sure you will get along well with him"
--------------------------------
two weeks have passed,and she was completely wrong.every day the urge of smashing a bottle on top of his head is only increasing,he would suddenly barg into your bedroom searching for his own belongings,asserting that he often lost things by accident since he is being here from time to time--why? his set-up pc is on your area for years now.
despite that,his own bedroom is just a few steps away from yours,you have been struggling with sleeping peacefully cause he would blast music on his speaker at 2-3 am,you are almost confirmed that he must be doing it on purpose--and it doesn't end here,there is worse.
you are aware of a guy having 'needs' so the occasional echo of moaning could be heard to you from the thin paper walls,you swear that it's music to your ears and you feel like your mind is sabotaging you.he is annoying,that though didn't stopped you from having a weird desire rising in you for him,a pang on your chest with guilt for possessing the most unholy fantasizes whenever he would roam around in just a pair of sweatpants.
with all this being said,you produced a baffling bond with Matt,signs showing that he is on the same page as you,which leads you to today.laying down on your bed with your phone on your hands,stressfully ignoring his presence a few meters away.him entirely concentrated on his screen computer playing--God knows what--video games,with the controller on his hands.the silense more than unbearable.
you were determined to prove to yourself that maybe you can spend some time with him,you took advantage of him not wearing any headphones and lightly tapped his shoulder,pointing towards the black console afterwards "can i try?" you anticipated for his response,silently hoping that he doesn't mind.
Matt was kind of surpised by your request,nevertheless he had finished the round so he nodded "umh..sure" he slid off from the gaming chair while handing you the controller,your fingers barely brushing with his yet enough to make your head spinning.
you rested your body on the mesh fabric as he sat on the bed,and with a glance of the buttons you were clueless of the task in hand,not having any idea on how to participate in the online game.luckily,he noticed the confused look written on your face so he came next to you and started to make a fast learning lesson,
he taught you how to jump,how to run,how to kill,and other features you require to have in case of a proper match.as he did so,you caught him taking a few glimpses of your chest--it's not like he could help it,your crop top was exposing a certain amount of your cleavage,making it hard for him to focus.
a devilish smile curled to your face when you noticed,feeling bold enough to adjust down the shirt such as leaving only your breasts covered--matt could feel his heart beat raising,the temperature of the room turning thick once he stopped talking.
"can you show me how to jump again? i don't think i get it" you spoke,a hint of suggestiveness leaking from your tone--and he didn't want more than just to devour you right there, your father and his mother had left for shopping,so you were both totally alone which sent shivers down your back,
the tension bloomed into a insufferable feeling between the two of you,causing your breath to hitch around your throat,especially when you felt his fingers starting to touch yours fully in attempt to answer your previous 'request'.a hushed gasp breaking out from you when there was a unexpected hand gesture tracing your thigh in a agonizingly pace--screw this.
with a smooth shift of your face and waist you palmed his cheeks,bringing his lips to yours into a fiery dance.he didn't hesitate to shove his tongue in your mouth,impatiently exploring your taste before nipping down your bottom lip,eliciting a moan from you that get's shallowed against him,
the sound you made vibrated through matt's whole body,landing directly straight to his core and he could feel his jeans growing tight around his crotch,he didn't ever remembered himself getting hard from just a making out session--he craved more,he needed more,and so did you.
his hands started travelling their way to your stomach,crawling upwards until he squeezed your nipples over the fabric of your top and reaching to lift it up, "is this okay?" you nodded desperately at the question,he didn't wasted time by taking it off over your head,unclasping with one motion your bra afterwards to shower your bare chest with open-mouthed kisses,
your hums of approval soon turned into whimpers when he wrapped his mouth on the flesh of your left breast,swirling his tongue around it while his hand pinched the other between his free fingers,he repeated his actions by giving the same treatment to your right one after.
with a loud pop he pulled away,slowly reaching under the gaming chair so he is on his knees,his eye pupils half-lidded and fluttering over your face before he yanks off your shorts with panties,exposing your already wet dripping pussy to his hungry gaze,
"fuck you are soaked,how long have you been dreaming this? have you been waiting for me to finally pleasure you sweetheart?" you could him mutter cooing through gritted teeth,licking at your thighs in a intractable speed as he itches towards the arching spot in between your legs,lavishing his attention there as he made a long stripe up on your clit,making you buck your hips against his face shamelessly,
your nails found his hair,gripping and tugging on it for support,dragging a hiss from his mouth as he began to lap on your juices like you were his last meal,you started riding his face while whining pathetically,the obsence resounds filling the room as he continued to satisfy you.
his index finger rubbed your entrance,letting you shaking for more and barely hearing his gagged whispers "you taste so fucking amazing,such an intoxicating cunt",your lower abdomen started quivering into the familiar knot,reminding you of your approaching release,making you clench uncontrollably around his mouth,
"come on,finish all over face baby" matt sneered out when he sucked on robs of your pre-cum, your lips forming a perfect 'o' shape in the same time you swirled your digits on his roots so his head is forced to be still there,with a long pornographic moan you erupted,spurting thick,white jets that made your legs glistening.
after pulling away he swooped you into his arms,carrying you bridal-style on the mattress of the bed,him laying down firstly before grasping your sides stronly,helping you to be on top of him as he guided your hips so you can push against his clothed erection,the sensation maddening for the both of you.
your still sensitive heat grinded back and forth,feeling his cock poking under you so your hands progress to tug the zipper of his jeans down,sliding them down along with his boxers to his ankles in a way of exposing his throbbing tip,you usually didn't liked how dicks looked but matt's was different; a needy tenderness to have it deep inside you,he adjusted with ease the head down your folds,and with no doubt you sinked down on his length.
a unbidden squeal slipped from you as he grunted repeatedly,his grunts turned into loud groans of pure filthiness as soon as you started bouncing yourself,your tight walls squelching him, sending him closer to the edge even though it hadn't passed a minute of you riding him,his back arching forward which gave you the opportunity of scratching down the skin of his behind shoulders,
"such a good girl,fucking yourself on your stepbrother's cock, such a whore f'me" his words actually made you feel pitiful yet encouraging your movements to speed up their pace,his hips thrusting up to meet yours so he can pound into your hole frequently, "c-close" you panted out,your second orgasm increasing through you as your walls clinged around him,the actions driving matt insane "going to fill you up,do you want that? do you want me to cum inside you?"
you miserably sobbed in bliss and let a ''hphm'' of approval,before you knew it matt had busted,his climax exploding extremely hard into your pussy,following suit after him with your head throwed back and stopping after a minute so you can pull yourself out of him,both of you being a panting mess,
"that was incredible" "i am never letting you to even enter my room again"
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evelyn speaks!! thank you so much for 250 followers jixijcmjg,my last post with Matt got more than 800 notes likeee insane,thank you ALL for the support it means everything xoxo🤍🤍
tags! @writtensturn @pixiespax @verywonderlandpolice @itsnotmariahh @user9383738392 @monroesturnns @badussybumper @nwlluvsturnsstars17 @shadowthesim
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nmakii · 6 months
Note
hello! it is me again
What do you think if Alastor had a breeding fetish? (Idk if that's how it's written, English is not my native language 😿) oops! It would be nice if you brought some of that to the second part of "no one's better than I am" __if you wanted to ;)
| thanks for your time|
TYING YOU TO ME… ᡣ𐭩
— having you return to alastor, he was more than ecstatic. but, he has to make sure you don’t run off again.
— includes semi-nsfw n pregnancy… i dont condone alastors actions!!
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alastor does not want kids. he isn’t against them, but he is rather busy. if he were to be asked, he wouldn’t be the best father either. he doesn’t have much of an idea of how to discipline children, nor does he enjoy playing.
oh, but with his pretty wife home, alastor has to make sure she stays, shouldn’t he? we wouldn’t want another man sweeping you off your feet. neither would he want you running off to the newspapers knowing his little secret— alastor would rather raze the town than hurt his little doe more than necessary.
oh, and, not to mention how gorgeous you’d look; a motherly glow radiating from your skin as you grow a child inside you— a child that was the mixed blood of you and alastor. how you would look so pretty rocking your child to sleep, alastor standing behind you, holding your waist and keeping steady.
alastor gazed at you in awe as you wiped the kitchen counter clean. he took your face in the palm of his hands, kissing you deeply and lovingly, as if your little rebellious incident had never happened.
“alastor? what’s wrong..?” you looked to him confused. “nothing’s amiss at all, dear. just admiring the sights.” he hummed, holding you by the waist as he pushes you onto the now-clean kitchen counters.
as his hands trail further, undoing the knot of your apron— he placed kisses down your neck. “i love you so very much, darling.” he sighed. “say you’re mine, won’t you? say that you belong to me as i do to you.” he pleaded.
your breath hitched as you hesitated. “i… i’m yours, alastor.” you let out, heart stopping a beat as shivers were sent down your spine. did you truly fall in love with him? alastor groaned, smiling widely at your saccharinely sweet words. “ahaha! oh, my dear…” he laughed ecstatically, almost predatorily.
“may i?” he asked, holding the zipper of your dress between his fingers. as you nodded timidly, he noticed your chaste behavior. “what’s wrong, dear? nervous?” he mused. “no… it’s just… i didn’t expect you of all people to… have sexual relations.” you said, slowly as you pick the right words.
“hmph, i’m not particularly fond of them.” was all that alastor said. and though, for the most part, it was true; engaging such physical acts is… repulsive to say the very least. whatever was necessary to keep you in this house. even if he had to make you bear his child in order to do so.
because… this is love, isn’t it? alastor loves you so very much, he’s willing to give you his everything. even the things he wouldn’t want to give.
he pulled you off of the counter, bringing you to the bedroom and he lays you down. taking out a condom. after all, you still have to stay safe.
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fuck, how did this happen? you sat, shaken in your doctor’s office as she removed the gloves from her hands. so, it was true? you were… pregnant?
the very thought made you sick to your stomach. that last encounter 3 weeks ago… there was protection. alastor is always very attentive to important matters such as this, there’s no way that your contraceptive wouldn’t have worked unless… it was tampered with.
the thought of him doing such a thing behind your back brought you anger. simmering inside you as you waited for him to return home. “oh darling, i’m home! don’t you look absolutely magnificent?” he grinned.
“break it up, alastor!” you frowned. “oh? what ever have i done?” he asked, big eyes as looked so innocent— he wasn’t even hiding his guilt! “you… messed with the contraceptive, didn’t you?” you said, standing from your seat at the table.
“hmm… so you are with child after all?” he grinned ear to ear. “so, what if i did?” he shrugged. "it’s not as if you have another means to live, i’m the only one who will take care of you.”
“so you did..!” your face scrunched in anger, ready to rip this man to shreds. “ahaha… calm down, dear. all this stress isn’t well for our child.” he rested his hands on your shoulder and stomach, gentle, almost soothing— almost able to make you forget the ordeal he put you in.
“don’t you want this child to grow up with a father? i’ll take care of everything you could ever want for, my cute little doe. just stay here in this house, and we’ll be a happy family.” he said, sweet nothings falling out of his mouth. how foolish honestly.
did you truly think you could nurture that monster into a man?
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dyns33 · 7 months
Text
Obvious
Most of the time I see him as the cool silly big bro, but I love Deadpool, so here's a long Deadpool x female reader.
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Normally nothing destined Y/N to meet Wade Wilson.
A normal life, without enemies, without superpowers, without contracts on her head. She didn't fight, respected the law (at least for the most serious and important things) and she considered herself to be a good person.
The first time she had passed Saint Agnes Orphanage, she hadn't really paid it much attention. The second time, she found it a little strange that an orphanage was in this part of the city, which was not really made for children.
Then one evening, when she had had a bad day, she realized that it was a bar and she decided to go in for a drink.
Since she thought an orphanage was strange in that place, she might have thought it was odd for a bar to have such a name. She could also have been scared when she saw the other customers, who all turned towards her, indicating that she might not be welcome.
But Y/N was tired, and she just wanted a drink before going home, so she smiled politely as she sat down at the counter.
The waiter frowned, but he agreed to serve her with a shrug, muttering that as long as she was an adult, it wasn't his problem.
A tall, bald, tattooed guy then approached her, putting a hand on her arm without worrying about her private space, asking her if she wanted to follow him home.
"… No thanks."
“Come on, don’t be a slut.”
"Please."
“Come with me, you stupid bitch.”
"Now, that's really not very nice. The lady said no, a gentleman should know it's time to leave. But no Hector, not only are you insisting, but you're being rude."
"Fuck you, Wade, don't get involved in this !"
The waiter continued to mumble about cleaning, while this Wade guy smashed Hector's head against the counter. A tooth even flew close to Y/N’s face.
That might have been enough to scare her completely. In addition to the surge of violence that was happening right next to her, there was the red suit, the katanas and other guns, which could make you want to flee as quickly as possible.
But when he finished kicking Hector's ass, Wade turned to her, and despite the mask, it was obvious that he was smiling, extending a hand towards her.
"Miss, my apologies for that boor. He knows nothing of good manners."
"… Thank you."
"You're very welcome, lovely angel ! Wade Wilson, Deadpool, Merc with a mouth, at your service ! Oh, he spilled your drink… Bad Hector ! Or was it me ? Maybe it was me. Weasel, the same for the little lady, on my note !”
“You already owe me a fortune.”
“I will kill whoever you want for free !”
“I thought you didn’t kill anymore.”
"Ah yes… I'll suck you for free !"
“Here you go, two drinks, just shup up Wade.”
In the end, Wade was a bit special, but not evil. He stayed with her, partly because he loved having someone to talk to, but also to make sure no one else was going to bother her again.
And he talked a lot. Everything he said didn't always make sense, he even seemed to be talking to himself sometimes, but he was funny. It seemed to please him that Y/N laughed at his jokes. Behind the counter, Weasel was still muttering that she was doing something silly.
Among the long tirade he delivered that evening, she understood that Wade had not had an easy life. That he had done some things that could make him a criminal, but he had been trying to improve for some time.
"Colossus already wanted me to become an X-men but it wasn't for me. Wait, there are X-men in this universe ? I do not know anymore. Anyway, there's Spidey and Devy. No, he's right, this nickname isn't great, Devil. Like Daredevil. They want us to be Team Red, but only if I stop unliving people. It's not fair because they're friends with Frank, and Frank keeps unliving people, but he lost his wife and his kids, so I guess he has more sympathy points than me."
"I don't understand everything, but I guess Spidey is Spiderman ?"
"Yes ! He's super cool ! And his ass ! People confuse us sometimes, it annoys me, but it's a bit of a compliment. He's my role model."
Like a true superhero, Deadpool insisted on taking her home. He was terribly honest, saying that he could leave her a few blocks away, but that was useless, because as a former mercenary, he was very good at stalking people and he could find her address without difficulty, even if he only had her name.
"Which I wouldn't do ! Normally. I might want to see you again, and ask Weasel to find your number, but I know myself, I'll put it in my phone, and I'll hesitate for weeks, then I'll send a lousy message, you'll be scared, you'll block me, I'll be ashamed and I'll shoot myself in the head because I'm a moron."
“I can give you my number.”
"And I… Huh ? Huh ?! For real ?!" exclaimed Wade, jumping like a child on Christmas Day.
Wade called her right away, specifying that it was not to verify that she was giving him a false number but a little. Despite the mask, his face showed surprise when he saw that she hadn't lied.
"I should put a bullet in my head to make sure I'm not dreaming."
“You wouldn’t wake up.”
“Baby girl, we only just met, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”
When Deadpool talked about shooting himself, he meant it literally. It often happened that he died, either because of an enemy, an accident, or by his own hand. But he always came back. A gift like a curse.
They became friends. It was obvious, and quite sad, that Wade didn't have many friends.
Most people around him couldn't stand him or were afraid of him. It was true that he could be quite unpredictable, especially when he got lost in his discussions with the boxes, or an imaginary audience. But he was never mean.
Weasel was more of a collaborator, Al was forced to accommodate him, and the other heroes, unable to get rid of him, tried to make him a nice guy.
And he was really nice. Crazy but adorable, funny and wanting to do well.
Very quickly, Y/N started to have a crush, and even more. Even after seeing him without a mask. He never took it off completely to eat, repeating that he didn't want her to lose her appetite or feel like throwing up.
But after landing in a trash can after a fight, and forgetting that he had invited her to watch Princess Bride, Y/N had seen him. Yes, his scars were a bit impressive, but they weren't that bad.
With an embarrassed smile, he waved his hand while remaining frozen near the entrance.
"… I can move if you want to run away. I won't follow you. I may look like Frankenstein's monster, but I only pursue young girls who ask me to. Or who deserve it. Because criminals have no gender, I don't discriminate."
“I brought popcorn.” was her only reaction.
"... Oh. Sweet ? Salty ? Caramel ? Al must have beer somewhere, hidden with the cocaine."
After that, he was a little less afraid to show his face, even though it was obvious he wasn't comfortable. It wasn't easy to reassure him, repeating that she didn't care about his appearance.
Y/N didn’t remember how they ended up having this conversation. The only thing she knew was that she was pressed against him, laughing, when she had innocently said it would be fun if they went out together.
This made Wade laugh, but a very serious laugh, leaving no chance and hitting where it hurt.
"You and me ? Ah ! No chance."
"Why ?"
"It's obvious."
A simple little sentence could sometimes do a lot of damage. Too busy making fun of the characters on the screen, Wade didn't see Y/N's look of sadness, just as he didn't feel her body stiffen.
Still, she should have expected this response. Of course it was obvious that they had nothing to do together. Deadpool was a super hero (in training), he was tall, muscular, funny, rich.
She had seen photos of his deceased ex, Vanessa. She had observed him flirting with beautiful women and men before. It was already fortunate that she was only friends with him.
So Y/N swallowed her pride, accepting the obvious, and not talking about the subject again.
But it was hard, because the more time passed, the stronger the feelings became.
It was even harder when Wade entered his depressive phases. He kept putting himself down, insulting himself and accepting insults from the boxes in his head. It took a lot of patience and perseverance to get him to put down his gun.
"Anyway, I'll come back later. Bad luck for the world. People would be happier if I wasn't here anymore. Maybe they'll miss me a little, for a few minutes."
“I would miss you, Wade.”
"Yeah… You say that because you're adorable, baby girl. But you'd be better off without me too. I'm a real drag."
“You saved me the first time we met.”
"And since then you think you owe me a debt. You know, every time we're in the street, the others look at me and they're afraid. If I wasn't there, you could be with them. You could have lots of friends.”
"I don't want lots of friends, Wade." Y/N sighed, taking him into her arms. “I’m glad we’re friends.”
“Oh, sweetie pie, me too !”
It was rarer for them to find themselves in the opposite situation. Not because Deadpool wasn't capable of empathy, but because she didn't like talking about her problems, preferring to keep everything to herself and cry out of sight.
Unfortunately, she had made the decision to become friends with a former mercenary who loved to jump from roof to roof, only to come visit without warning by tapping on the window.
Y/N had no time to hide her tears, holding back a sob as her eyes met those of Wade, who had stopped mid-movement, fist raised against his window.
He didn't hesitate before entering, terribly serious.
"Who ? Who did this ?"
“Wade…”
"Who made my baby girl cry ? I want a name. Spidey and Dev will understand. Yellow wants decapitation, White wants emasculation. Tell me who."
"It's really not necessary. It's not important."
“It’s important if you cry.” Deadpool growled as he looked around the apartment for clues.
Once he had an idea in his head, it was almost impossible to divert his attention. If it wasn't so important, it was possible with food or talking about Spiderman's butt. But this time he considered it very important.
Tired, Y/N thought that all she had to do was say that it was just a ridiculous heartbreak for him to calm down. He had no reason to kill someone just because they didn't love her back.
This actually seemed to calm him down a bit, as he patted his cheeks with his hands in a dramatic gesture.
"What ?! Someone doesn't love you ?! Someone doesn't like my sweet little angel ? Are they crazy or stupid. You deserve the best !"
"Actually… He's the one who's too good for me."
"Bullshit ! The important thing is love ! If a woman can marry a space duck, then everyone can be together, as long as it's legal and consensual !"
"… What ? No, wait, it doesn't matter. Wade, please forget it."
"A name. Let me prove to you that this fool doesn't deserve you, and not the other way around !"
"No."
"A name !"
"You ! It's you !"
For the first time since they met, Wade was silent for more than a minute, staring at her like he wasn't sure she was real. He often had hallucinations, so this happened to him.
Then he muttered incomprehensible things, probably speaking with his boxes to check that he had heard what she had just said.
"… Me ? As in, me ?"
“I know what you’re going to say.” Y/N sighed, wanting to disappear. "You've already said it, it's obvious that we're not meant to be together. You're charismatic, and strong, and funny, with powers. You save people, you have an extraordinary life, while I… I am me."
"… Baby girl. Do you have a fever ? Did you lose a bet ? Because… You saw me without a mask. You know I'm crazy and dangerous. There are several bounties on my head, I've unlived more people than the population of New York, and my favorite movie is Zoolander 2. When I said it was obvious… I meant that you were too good for me."
There had been a misunderstanding, each being convinced that the other could never want the other, because they were too different. But even though he was special, with skin problems and an inability to concentrate for more than ten minutes, Wade was much better than a space duck.
However, while she was sure of what she wanted, he hadn't clearly said what he expected next.
"I mean, if you just want to be friends, I'll understand."
"You can't tease me like that and then break my heart. Don't play with me, woman !"
“Wade…” Y/N sneered, as he gesticulated like a degenerate, declaiming his great love for her and her smile, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Taking advantage of his inattention, she approached him, until he froze when he felt her hands on his mask.
With a look, she asked him if she could take it off, and as he didn't move to stop her, she took it off first up to his nose, before hesitating.
Y/N didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, but she also didn’t want him to think that she didn’t want to see him if she didn’t go further. So she took out the whole mask, she observed Wade, smiling before kissing him.
"… Don't take what comes next as a bad thing." he whispered as their lips parted.
"What ?"
"I'm going to have a heart attack…"
As always, Y/N thought he was joking at first, until he collapsed in front of her, looking delighted even though his heart had stopped beating. Fortunately she was used to seeing him die, even if it was still a little traumatic.
It took almost an hour for him to wake up. Y/N had time to take a shower and make herself some tea, sitting on the couch to wait.
"Shit !" he shouted as he opened his eyes, looking around the apartment before looking at her. “Did we kiss ?”
“Yes and you died.”
"It's weird. Normally you go to heaven after you die, not before. But I probably don't have enough superhero points for heaven yet, so the other option is that I became totally crazy."
“Wade…”
"I know, White and Yellow would have told me. They're already saying that all the time, but they would have insisted, especially for me to escape from the asylum. It's no fun fighting with fake people and hippos. Was I dead long ?"
“No, a little over half an hour.”
"And you stayed with me, it's so cute. Nurse Y/N. No, Doctor Y/N, and I'll be Nurse Wilson. Oh, Doctor Y/N, I made a mistake in the dosage of a patient, I'm a bad nurse, punish me."
"… Let's see Nurse Wilson, we're in the middle of an intervention, calm down."
"Uh oh ! You're playing along !" Wade exclaimed, pouting from the ground. "I didn't expect that ! Wait, I need a blonde wig, and a white dress. You'll see, I look super sexy in a dress. Wait, we do this now or it's quick and we should have a date first ?'
“I wouldn’t say no to a date.”
"I see the genre, like in novellas. Doctor Y/N takes me to the restaurant to talk about my future promotion, but in fact, you are going to admit to me that I am pregnant with you, before I even enter your bed !"
“As long as you’re in my bed before the hundredth episode.”
“UH !”
The small, high-pitched cry of pleasure preceded a second cardiac arrest, Deadpool's mind imagining Y/N and him in a bed, with a stetoscope.
When she asked him if he was going to have a heart attack every time, he told her that he would probably die for good the day he saw her naked, or that they made love for the first time.
But Wade was a gentleman, he ate lots of vegetables, exercised, and begged Daredevil to teach him meditation techniques.
So he had the courtesy of having the next heart attack only after they were finished, and in the toilet. And every time after that they were together, Wade would go out of his way to just get a nosebleed.
Especially on Weasel's counter, telling him everything they had done or almost everything, which annoyed the poor waiter a lot, even if he knew that it would happened from the start, the moment he saw Deadpool with Y/N.
713 notes · View notes
jeongharine · 4 months
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syntax ERROR: the right formula
⚝ wonwoo x reader
⚝ comedy, smut
⚝ notes: you and wonwoo decide to take the thing between you on level two. but no one has to know about it. you would rather die than to have someone figure out about your sexual escapades with the local nerdy fuckboy. it is an ego thing. (part i)
(thanks to everyone who read and liked part one, i’ve never received such an amount of likes for something that i posted <3 i hope you will like this part as well, it is a bit longer but i had a little fun in writing some teasing ooof enjoy it, have a good early summer period and stay safe x)
“can you actually believe that, y/n? he ghosted me for i don’t know three weeks, and then he had the nerve to ask for a tit pic,” nabi sighs, taking a sip from her blue-ish drink.
“you know what? i’m so done with men. all of them. we really ar- are you even listening to me?” 
you are caught off guard by the clicking of her fingers in front of your eyes. truth is, you are only half present, the other half of you is scanning the whole floor, trying to see if there’s a certain someone amongst the agglomeration of bodies. 
“yeah, sure, sorry,” you apologize, leaning your side against the wall. “i was somewhere else for a second. you were saying that he ghosted you?”
“i’m never talking to him again. or any man.” “hm,” you hum, crossing your arms. you actaully don’t know who she is trying to convince at this point, because that must’ve been the fifth time you heard your friend giving you that speech (during that semester alone). 
“really, i don’t know why those guys haven’t been thrown out of the campus yet. they’re a hazard, including your brother from what i’ve heard. sorry. but yeah, they’re a threat to public health,”
you shrug, because honestly you don’t care that much about their business. and that is important to keep it low.
“could be worse, though, i could be one of the poor girls getting fucked by one of them in their spare time,” 
oh. 
you giggle, a little nervous. “yeah, yeah,” you agree, looking back at the mass of students. “yeah, that’d be totally awful.” 
“i couldn’t even count on my fingers the amount of girls that had one night stands with one of them, and somehow proceeded in becoming completely whipped and infatuated, only to be told that they don’t ‘fuck the same person twice’. like… what the fuck is that? who do they think they are? sorry that your brother is involved in this discourse, but he’s kind of a prick,”  
you laugh, noticing the tinge of red that covers her cheeks. “you sound really drunk,” 
“i’m not bullshitting you. they’re pricks and that’s on period,” 
she raises her cup in a silent cheer, and took another sip. “i know you’re not involved in the fuckboy thing that plagues this campus and, honestly, you’re better off that way. but trust me when i say that they aren’t worth the headache,” 
with an inattentive nod, you take another peek at the strangers filling the space near you. “i believe you, don’t worry. i know my thing or two,” 
the worst part? you do. 
and the even worse bit? there are two things wrong with what she has just told you. 
number one: yes, they could be kind of jerks sometimes. but they aren’t completely soulless, at least some of them. they are fun to be around, actually, when picked alone and not in group, or when they are not trying to impress someone into sleeping with them.
number two: they fuck the same person twice, if feeling like it. at least wonwoo. and you know that because you’ve been fucking him on and off for the past five months or so. 
when you first met him, you weren’t exactly after a “secret friends with benefits” relationship. you just needed a math tutor. but long story short, you didn’t expect to fall victim to his charms, melting under his tender kisses, moaning his name as he rolled his hips against you, edging your orgasm for longer than you can hold it. and you surely didn’t expect to like it as much as you do. 
truth is: jeon wonwoo is everything, but he isn’t dumb. he knows that he is attractive and smart as hell - he knows that with his voice so silky and deep just saying the right words is enough to have you in bed with him, and he knows how to use the two things very well. 
apart from also corrupting you in games hours.
also, you are human, alright? and there is something extremely tempting about sleeping with your brother best friend, especially when he keeps coming back to you. it’s only nature to want to feel special every once in a while. 
again: it is an ego thing. 
plus no one ever caught you. not nabi or any of your other friends. as far as you are aware, wonwoo’s group doesn’t know a thing either, which makes you appreciate him even more because you don’t know how hoshi could take this.  
so yeah, he isn’t a total douchebag. he has the most basic sense of loyalty. 
x
with a sigh, you push your body away from the wall, fumbling with your purse. you are praying that- oh there he fucking is. 
the moment that you see wonwoo, sitting on the couch across from you, you forget how to breathe for a moment. 
he looks better than you had anticipated: dressed in all black, with his thighs spread across the seat, ready to be fucked right then and there. his dark long hair is parted in the middle, with a few stubborn strands falling over his angelic features, as his gaze navigates around the room, staring at nothing in particular.
next to him, there is another one of his friends, seokmin, talking about something animatedly but wonwoo is paying no attention. 
his expression is one of irritation, you notice, with his thick eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenching. but when his gaze falls on you, however, wonwoo’s perceived annoyance instantly dissipates. 
you watch as his eyes meet your own, then he trails down your body with desire, stopping around the level of your thighs for a bit longer than you have predicted. 
you know that stare awfully well: it is the same one that he gives you when he sees you around campus, or in the pc-bang when you’re winning or when you actually understand the concepts that he’s teaching you. the silent provocation that tells you, and only you, that he really wants to have some alone time right now. 
a tricky smirk sprouts at the corner of his lips, and he leans back against the couch. you follow his movements as he reaches towards his pocket and extracts his phone, staring at you as he does so. he unlocks it, taking a final glance at your expectant features before he starts to type something.
[00:23] wonu: so glad to see that you came  
[00:23] wonu: will you do me a favour and meet me in the bathroom upstairs? second door to the right ;) 
and what can you do when he’s asking it like this? you take the stairs and you wonder, as you open your way through the crowd of sweaty bodies and spilling drinks, if you aren’t trying too hard to rationalize and catastrophize something that is actually very simple. 
a story with a beginning, a middle part, and a satisfying ending: you two want to fuck each other, you do, then you move right forward. no hidden feelings, no strings attached. that’s it. couldn’t get any better than that. 
but maybe, it isn’t everything about that, and you know it. it is also about overhearing the other girls talking as you make your way upstairs, complaining about how ridiculously hot and pretty he is. it is about having that steamy, trembling secret between the two of you. it is about knowing that yeah, wonwoo is crazy hot and smart and funny and you can have that whenever you want.
x
just like the calm before the storm, there is a moment of quietness and stillness between the instant of when you lock the door, and the one when you see him. 
as you turn around, dwelling in his proximity, you think about a million things at the same time: about teasing him for his location choice, or maybe about how he must’ve been going through a drought, if he has to count on his covert booty call to get laid at a party. 
before you can say anything, wonwoo’s lips are on yours, attacking your mouth in a fervorous kiss. you whimper in surprise as he pushes you against the closed bathroom door, his hands circling your waist as he squeezes your body against his. your purse falls on the ground with a muffled sound, but you barely even notice it. 
it is something else, really. tonight, he’s kissing you as if he physically can’t contain himself long enough to do anything else - as if all that he can think of doing is to feel the heavenly contact of your mouth against his, while your fingers pull strands of his hair.
as he invites his tongue inside your mouth, wonwoo groanes and lowers his hands, squeezing your ass like he is about to lose every last ounce of sanity he has left in him. you sigh as he moves his focus onto your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses. 
“someone’s excited,” you comment, slightly breathless. the only response you get is another groan, and the rolling of his hips against your inner thigh where you can feel his dick, already semi-hard, pressing. 
“couldn’t even bother to take me somewhere else,” 
“i just needed to have you now. have you seen how hot you are?” his voice comes out muffled against your skin, the reverberations of his timbre propagating directly towards your core. 
“i see you’re starting to get more adventurous with this,” you bite down on your lower lip and he sucks your flesh, groping your ass once again. “parties and nights out used to be so off limits to you.” 
wonwoo chuckles against your neck, moving back towards your mouth. he starts making out with you again, his breath hot and heavy against your face, and you start to think how you could very well pass out seen the level of craving building inside of you. 
“i changed my mind.” he speaks as he leans back. 
you smirk at his attitude. “we’ll end up getting caught,” 
“aw, baby,” he pouts, looking at you with artificial pity. “are you afraid your brother is going to find out?”
okay, he can be kind of a prick sometimes. 
“so i can leave, then?” you raise one eyebrow, fingers playing with the hair at the back of his neck. 
“you can, the door is right behind you. you know i’m not one to insist,” wonwoo tells you, quickly losing interest in this part of the conversation. “but something tells me you won’t.” 
you don’t even try to respond, because there is nothing to be said: both of you know what you are doing there, and the idea of walking out is just too ridiculous to consider. 
with a suspire, you watch as wonwoo moves his lips down your chest, stopping at the fabric of your blouse. 
“what if someone hears us?” you suddenly remember, heartbeat quickening at the thought. 
“what is it?” he asks as his fingers work on your buttons, exposing more of your chest. the slow pace of his is going to kill you one of these days. 
“you’re worried that people are going to find out about this? about us? when you’re always begging to be fucked in the room next to your brother’s one or when there’s someone at my dorm?” 
you open your mouth to respond but his chuckle, so deep and melodious, catches you off guard. 
“how scandalous, right? you are not the pure little thing you make yourself to be,” wonwoo continues, finally opening your blouse and fully exposing your bra to him. he hums with delight. “red lace? you really want to tease me,” 
you swallow dry as he takes the blouse off your shoulders and gently places it beside the sink, above a towel. he can be so thoughtful and gentle. 
“wonu, i-“ “you’re such a little brat sometimes, you know that?” he interrupts, eyes following his own movements as his hands circle your body, moving to unclasp your bra. and of course he gets it right on the first try. 
“you came all the way up here just to get fucked, and now you’re worried that people are going to know about it,” you stare him down, a smirk already creeping up in the corner of your lips. 
“how does that make me a brat?” 
he smiles. “don’t try to to play the naive card on me,” another agile movement of his fingers and your bra joins your blouse besides the sink. 
wonwoo sighs deeply at your exposed breasts, trying to imprint that sight into the back of his mind. “pretending as if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing. you can drop the act now, y/n,” “i don’t-“ his mouth attacking you is all that you needed to shut up and let him do what he wants really.
overwhelmed by the sensation, you let out a gasp as his hand squeezes you, playing with you as he moans against your skin. 
“i love it so much,” he hums, moaning at the marvelous sensation of your warm skin against his tongue. you were almost forgetting how much wonwoo aches to play with your tits - not that you are complaining. 
“and i love that it’s all for me,” he breathes out before placing kisses again.
you whimper at the contact, arching your back in a failed attempt to get closer to him. as much as you know he is most likely to just say whatever he thinks would turn you on, wonwoo’s words expand inside your chest, building a heat that seems to suffocate you. even if you know it is bullshit, maybe not all of it, you like to be called his. ego strokes and all of that. 
“wonu…” there is only a thin wooden door separating you two from the outside world, and at the moment you can’t care less if they hear you calling out his name. the guy really does wonders to your anxiety. 
but he also likes to tease you. 
he moves away from your breasts and you almost, almost, cry out in frustration. but wonwoo starts to trace kisses back to your neck, then to your jawline. and you feel like you’re going crazy with all that back and forth.
“i’m not gonna lie, i understand where you’re coming from,” he says. “i like to keep this as a secret too. it’s so hot.” 
you almost forget how to inhale when he aligns his face with yours, placing a peck on your swollen lips. “yeah?” you ask, sounding as if you are in a daydream. 
“yeah,” he agrees, breathless. 
even if wonwoo tries his best to look as if he’s under total control, you know that he can’t keep that front for too long. he is clearly turned on, and the hardness pressing against your thigh is all of the proof that you need. he
even if wonwoo tries his best to look as if he’s under total control, you know that he can’t keep that front for too long. he is clearly turned on, and the hardness pressing against your thigh is all of the proof that you need. he’s close to get too worked up.
“it’s so great to know that i have one of the sexiest nerdy girls on campus just for myself…” his hand trails up your thighs, adventuring in the lands beneath your skirt. “and no one knows.”
you bite your lower lip, anticipating the contact of his hand against your core. “what’s so tempting about it?” you ask. 
he smiles. “ah… many things,”
your stare doesn’t vacillate. “i’d like an example,” 
instead of answering you straight away, wonwoo decides to take his sweet time. he leans his head to the side and kisses you feverishly, growing satisfied with the the small whimpers and breaths that echoes in between your mouths. his hands are all over you: on your ass, your waist, down your thighs and up your hips, where his eyes can not see. you only have your skirt and your panties on, and it is so frustrating to still feel him fully dressed against you. 
at last, he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours. as he speaks, you feel the tingle of his hands as they move towards the hem of your panties. 
“i like seeing you walk around campus, knowing that you’re sore from the night before,” he speaks slowly, his voice in a low vibration against your mouth. “and i know you don’t tell any of your friends about it. about how i fucked you so good that you almost cried,” 
you hum, closing your eyes. “what else?”
much to your dismay, his hands leave your underwear again, coming out to pull you closer. “when you send me those audios late at night,” he’s breathing out hard then, drowning in those lewd memories. “crying out my name… ” he stops and takes a big breath. “how am i supposed to say no to that? so there i go, out the door, telling your brother that i’m going to the library to study, instead of saying that i’m going to see his crazy hot sister and that i’m going to fuck her…” he hesitates. “and i just get this… adrenaline rush because he and my other friends don’t know it’s you.” 
“and how do you know that i like any of it?” you tease. 
wonwoo snickers at your question. both of you know that it is plastered all over your face, but he can keep up with that little teasing if you want to. 
“two reasons,” he says. “first: you do the same to me, or don’t you?” 
“i don’t recall,” you respond, forging innocence. okay, maybe you do like to play the naive part. 
“oh no? what a terrible memory you have, i see why you do badly in exams when you don’t study with me. now, let me remind you,” he places a strand of your hair behind your ear, his words hitting your skin in heated, libidinous waves. wonwoo is so close that you can count his eyelashes if you want to, his torso squeezed so tight against yours that you wonder how you even manage to breathe in this position. 
“it was just last week, babe. you called me to your flat after your roommate had left,” one of his hands goes back to play with the hem of your underwear, fingertips feeling like sparks against your skin. 
“you got so horny with just the thought of having me, isn’t that right?” much to your surprise, your voice comes out a lot more steady than you have expected. “don’t flatter yourself, you don’t know that.”
wonwoo laughs, placing his warm, swollen lips against the skin of your neck. “i don’t,” he agrees, digits pressing against your clothed area. 
you know he feels how wet your panties have become, so there’s no reason to keep that up. regardless, you kind of like it. 
“but i do remember how much you wanted me that night. how many times did i fuck you that night? and you just had to keep quiet, because your neighbours could have been catching something. that was so cute,” 
you sigh, your insides in knots over the tension you are sustaining. you hate him sometimes. hate how good he is. “i wasn’t counting.” 
“i know,” he swiftly pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side. 
“and this right here, this is the second reason. look at this,” his digits move, teasing you and you have to suppress a moan. “you’re always ready. i love that. you’re so good to me.” 
god, you are so close to lose it.
“so quiet all of a sudden,” his nose delicately trails up your neck, his mouth meeting the angle of your jaw in open kisses. in an attempt to ground yourself, your hands fly to his shoulders, nails digging through his t-shirt. you can still feel wonwoo’s fingers playing. you hate him. or not. you don’t know. 
“i know i leave you speechless, sometimes, but i wan to hear you too,” 
strong and steady, his other hand meets the curvature of your waist, pressing your body against his.
“nothing? y/n, you’re especially irresistible tonight,” his eyes are somewhat dazed, unfocused and hooded. he appears as if he’s two seconds away from fucking you raw against the wall, and you seriously wouldn’t mind at this point. 
“you know why i called you here?” “because you want to fuck me,” you respond without missing a beat. 
“i do, of course,” he places his forehead against yours, and you whimper. 
“and the best part is that no one will even know it,” he continues. against your best judgement, your knees are getting weaker by the minute, the knot in your abdomen about to untie.
“just you and i. just the two of us will know how much you begged.” 
“wonu,” you call out, hands tangling themselves in the roots of his silky hair. you whisper out his name again, your voice coming out in such a promiscuous tone. 
god, wonwoo loves hearing the effect he has on you. 
x
maybe jeon wonwoo does also have a golden dick. 
above you, he smirks at the sensation of your mouth around his thumb, his other hand coming to place small caresses on your hair. after he removes his thumb from your mouth, you get back to your feet. it swiftly crosses your mind that your legs might give out eventually but, thankfully, they seem a bit more firm than what you have anticipated. 
“better?” you ask. 
“perfect.” wonwoo kisses you, sighing against your mouth. he pulls away gradually, his body still moving a bit slow.
“you always are.” 
“aw, how nice of you,” you smile at his compliment, walking towards your pile of clothes. “always with the compliments.” 
he hums in agreement, watching your naked body - your fingers holding that red bra he adores so much. “do we have any lesson programmed this week?” 
an incredulous laugh ruptures your lips as you clasp your bra behind your back. 
“we just had sex, and you’re already thinking about studying time?” 
he shruggs. “i like to have a schedule,” 
“i don’t actually remember, but we can game at mine wednesday,” your skirt moves up your legs, all the way up to your waistline. from the corner of your eyes, you can see wonwoo fumbling with his own jeans, which he now curses for being inside out. 
“can you pass me some toilet paper?” you ask him, eager to clean the mess between your legs. there’s no way you are going to put your panties back on, even if the thought of going commando isn’t exactly the most welcoming either. 
wonwoo is sitting on the toilet lid, putting his jeans back, and simply nods in agreement before doing so. “i’d like to know, though,” he insists.
you smile, taking a cheeky glance at him. “oh, so you are needy. since when you’re so needy?” 
he groans. “i’m not needy, shut up.” the sound of his zipper closing echoes inside the cubicle. 
“well, you can have this as a memory, if you’d like.” 
you throw your red panties at him, watching as his face grows interested at the piece of cloth in his hands. wonwoo sighs, tugging his t-shirt back inside his pants. 
“you’re killing me,” he complains. “good.” you smile, turning back at him. “how do i look? presentable?” 
he examins you for an instant, taking in the details of your form. “it doesn’t look like you just got fucked, if that’s what you’re asking,” 
“great!” you swirl around, “have a nice night, wonu. and don’t get too excited with the panties,” 
wonwoo gets up and walks closer to you, your underwear safely guarded in his hands. you are positive he’s going to have fun with it later. “you’re going home already?” he asks. 
“yeah, you did a good job at making me tired,” the clicking of the lock is a pleasant reminder that no one tried to open the door during your alone time.
wonwoo chuckles, leaning closer to you and he places a kiss on your forehead. 
“good night, then. thanks for the panties,” you laugh. “you’re welcome.” 
x
the building is glowing in the most diverse colours from the outside, and the sound of the music is like a distant pulse.
you watch, heart clenching inside of your chest, as wonwoo steps out of the front door with hoshi and seokmin - his head hanging low and a smile at the corner of his lips. 
there is a volume in his front pocket, where you are sure he has tugged in your panties.
“i think that we should go home and sleep. but let’s keep this conversation on hold,” wonwoo cuts off the conversation. seokim, however, isn’t satisfied. 
“you know that i’ll find out eventually,” he says, trying not to trip while walking. 
“i always do. and hoshi knows it well.” 
hoshi laughs, meeting wonwoo’s eyes. on the other side of the street, you and nabi take the opposite direction, having wonwoo to turn his head quickly at you. 
“wonu-yah, i think you should give those lacy panties hanging off your pocket back to my sister tomorrow,”
“what-” “oh fuck!” a tomato red face wonwoo grabs them, while seokim trips and nearly cries out loud in the middle of the street.
472 notes · View notes
freedomfireflies · 1 year
Text
Jealous*
Summary: The fourth part to 404*
The one where Harry's even more annoying when he's jealous.
But he's kind of cute, too.
Word Count: 5.6k
*Contains Mature and Explicit content! Please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞You are so much more important!*
(Note: This edit is not mine!! I believe the @ is on it, but full credit to the incredible creator! It's so perfect!!)
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“Head back, tongue out.”
Quickly shifting onto your knees, you glance up at the man before you. Watching eagerly as Harry’s large hand strokes the hardened cock that lingers near your lips.
His other palm reaches out for your neck, slowly sliding up into your hair before tugging you back even further. “Like this,” he murmurs, only satiated when you oblige. “Good girl. Show me your tongue, Tink. Come on, not gonna ask you again.”
Quickly, you rush to obey, presenting it to him willingly as you scoot closer and silently plead for his offering.
He gives you a rare, pleased smile that makes your insides jump before he brings his cock closer to your mouth, tapping it twice. “Gonna swallow it all, yeah? Like a good little cumslut?”
Nodding fervently, your lashes flutter in a somewhat desperate attempt to coax him closer to release.
To this, he exhales an amused breath, smirk growing until you see that familiar and infuriatingly charming dimple. “You’re a lot less annoying when you’re desperate, you know that?”
You swat at his thigh. “Shut up and cum in my mouth already.”
“Eager, are we?”
“The fuck do you think? Just do it, come on.”
“See, there you go again. Don’t know how to romance a guy, do you?”
“And why would I ever want to romance you?”
He laughs and sweeps the tip of his cock along your bottom lip. “Because deep down…you like me. Don’t you, Princess?”
And before you can reply with another quippy retort, he’s sliding himself along your tongue, and filling your mouth completely.
It doesn’t take long for that warm, salty tang to go slipping down your throat. Effortlessly coating your taste buds as Harry tightens his grip on your head and releases a rather lascivious groan.
“Fuck…there you go, that’s a good girl,” he murmurs, using his other hand to brace himself against the wall to keep upright. “Take it…fucking take it, Tink, good. Feel so fucking good, don’t you? Such a tight little mouth, yeah?”
He’s babbling, a string of nonsense and praises falling from his tongue, but you revel in it. Indulge in the way you’re the only one on his mind, the only one to make him fall apart so quickly.
And you imagine you’d both like to stay here in the lobby coat closet for at least a few more minutes (or a few more rounds), but before you can entertain the idea, your phone is going off.
The shrill alarm cuts the moment in two, slicing it right down the middle as you pop off his cock and reach over to turn it off.
In turn, Harry blinks, breathing still a tad ragged as he steps back. “What…what is that for?”
“Oh, I have a meeting with Mr. Prescott in five.” You straighten up onto your feet and swipe the back of your wrist across your mouth. “This was fun, though. Thanks.”
Harry blinks. “Wow. Way to dine and dash.”
“Funny,” you snort as you head for the door. “Anyway, I think I’ll be good for a while, so…no need to keep dragging me in here.”
“I didn’t drag you,” he argues with a huff while yanking his jeans back up. “I casually suggested it and you jumped at the opportunity.”
“Mm…wrong.”
“Mm…right. Face it, Princess, you can’t stop thinking about me.”
“Actually, I think about everybody but you,” you tell him. “Seriously, just the sound of your name kills my libido. It’s quite sad.”
His eyes roll. “Fucking go already, I have shit to do.”
“Fine, but you have to wait at least three minutes,” you remind him as you slip out into the hallway. “I mean it. Cassie almost saw us last time and I was mortified. So be less suspicious this time.”
“Come on, do you really think I want people to know we’re shagging?” he retorts, crossing his arms as he leans against the wall in wait. “Getting seen with you at the bar was already bad enough.”
“Yeah? Is that why you stuck your hand down my pants in front of everybody?”
“Okay, you know what—”
“No, I don’t. Bye,” you call before swinging the door shut.
Harry’s muffled grumbling follows you all the way to the elevator.
You can’t help but grin as you step inside and hit the button for the fifth floor, flashes of his hands and practiced fingers flooding the forefront of your mind.
You might still hate him, but you suppose you don’t mind his company as much anymore. He’s not as irritating as he was when you first started this little arrangement, and you’ve noticed his technique has gotten better. He’s always been good, but recently he seems to be trying incredibly hard to make each time the best. 
Not that you’d dare complain. After all, it’s not like you’ve really—
“Wait, hold the door!”
Quickly, you reach out and press your palm against the sliding entrance, keeping it inside the frame as the stranger swiftly slides through.
You watch as he gratefully slumps against the railing, seemingly out of breath as he nods his appreciation and allows you to release your hand.
“Thank you,” he exhales, head dropping back against the wall as the elevator takes off. “Thought I was gonna have to take the stairs.”
“No problem,” you return before gesturing toward the buttons. “Which floor?”
“Fifth,” he answers, smiling when he notices it’s already been selected. “You, too?”
“Yeah, I work in the lab.”
Curious, the man straightens up. “No kidding. You’re one of the engineers?”
“Mhm. For about four years now.”
“No fucking way,” he replies, studying you with interest. “Do you like it?”
“Yeah, actually. Pay is good, hours are better.”
“Ah, very nice,” he muses. “In that case, do you think you’d be able to show me to Prescott’s office?”
“Sure. I’m headed there now, actually.”
“Yeah?” His head tilts. “Wait, shit…you wouldn’t be working on the Keaton Project, would you?” 
Surprised by his knowledge on your current work, you blink. “Uh…yes, actually. How did you…?”
“I’ve been hired to help with your development operations,” he tells you. “Just for a couple weeks, see where you’re at.”
“Oh, that’s good. Harry and I could use the help.”
The mystery man smirks. “Good. S’what I like to hear.”
With that, the elevator comes to a stop and the doors open, allowing you and the stranger to begin down the hall and toward the main office.
After a rather interesting discussion with Mr. Prescott, you learn a bit more about Lucas, your new project partner. 
He’s incredibly smart and well spoken, he’s got some wonderful ideas for the website, and he’s absolutely going to drive Harry up the goddamn wall.
You’re practically giddy as you lead Lucas back to the lab to help him get set up. Already imagining the scowl on Harry’s face when he learns he’ll be sharing a space with someone else. Someone arguably much better suited for the position and with much fresher ideas. 
Unfortunately, Harry has already left for the day by the time you return. And while you’re somewhat disappointed that you’ll have to wait on the introductions, you use the rest of the shift to get acquainted with Lucas.
Turns out, he’s delightful, and you laugh harder with him than you have anybody else in a long time. He’s rather flirty, too, you notice, but you don’t mind. It’s nice to have such forward attention and you revel in his sneaky smiles and playful remarks.
You leave the lab that afternoon with a large grin, laughing when he calls, “Goodbye, Duchess,” as you walk out the door.
Come Monday morning, Harry is in a foul mood. You notice it before he’s even set foot into the room, the exasperated expression on his face visible from the parking lot.
He walks differently when he’s upset, you realize. With his hunched shoulders, clenched fists, and heavy footsteps that echo through the halls.
Everyone within a hundred-foot radius takes notice, shooting him odd looks as he strides by, but he pays them no mind. Instead making a beeline for his corner of the room where you reside before throwing his things down with a huff.
“Morning, Sunshine,” you call, turning in your chair to watch while he slumps into his. “What the hell is going on with your hair? It looks…well, like shit.”
A venomous glare is shot through the dark frames of his glasses. “Blow me, Princess. I’m not in the fucking mood today.”
“I can see that,” you reply calmly, hiding a smirk behind the rim of your coffee mug. “Hope you’re at least a little nicer to the new guy.”
Harry’s frazzled and irritated shuffling stills. “What new guy?”
“The new guy,” you say, nodding toward Lucas who’s beginning to make his way through the lab. “Prescott told you, right? He’s working with us for the next couple of weeks on development operations.”
Harry’s attention follows the tall, lanky figure as he moves between the tables, a frown beginning to form. “What the fuck?” he scoffs quietly but full of repulsion. “I’m sorry, since when do we need a fucking babysitter?”
“He’s not a babysitter, Harold. He’s just extra help—”
“We don’t need extra help,” Harry bites back. “Okay, I had it covered—”
“Clearly, yeah. Is that why the simulation kept glitching—”
“It wasn’t glitching, the code was just off. But I had it handled—”
“Sure, yeah. Obviously. That’s why Prescott hired someone else—”
“Duchess,” comes a new addition to the conversation, forcing you and Harry to lean back as Lucas approaches. “Hey, listen. Thank you again for showing me where to set up my shit, I really appreciate it.”
“Of course,” you return with a smile. “Seriously, anything we can help you with, just let us know.”
He nods. “Perfect, yeah. Most of it is just working on the HTML, but eventually I’d like your input on the file transfer.”
Peeved, Harry’s eyes flitter across the man’s face. “Right. And you are?”
“Lucas,” he replies brightly, offering you both a charming smile. “Yeah, sorry. Met Duchess here the other day on the elevator. You must be…Harry, right?”
Harry’s eyebrows begin to weave together, broad shoulders straightening up ever-so-slightly. “Why the fuck were you in our elevator?”
“Well, Duchess was showing me up to the lab," Lucas says, nodding his chin at you while you share a smirk. "Helped me set up, which was really sweet.”
You wave the compliment away while Harry slowly turns to you and subtly mouths, “Duchess?”
You shoot him a pointed look. “Yes. Well. Anyway, Harry and I are really excited about working with you. Aren’t we?”
Harry merely returns your stare with a glare of his own before gritting his teeth. “Fucking ecstatic.”
If Lucas picks up on the charged air between you, he doesn’t comment on it, instead grinning again as he steps back. “Perfect. I’ll see you around, yeah?”
You nod. “Absolutely. Oh, we’re still on for lunch, right?”
“Of course,” he calls before returning to the hallway, leaving you with a very displeased partner. 
You blink.
“Lunch?” Harry repeats, almost incredulously. “You’re having fucking lunch with the babysitter now?”
You snort. “It’s lunch, not an orgy. Relax, Harold—”
“And what the fuck is with the degrading nickname?” he continues, nodding his chin in the direction Lucas disappeared to before nudging his glasses back up. “He sounds like a fucking twat.”
“For your information, Duchess means queen,” you tell him haughtily. “And I love it. It’s a lot nicer than anything you call me.”
“I call you the same fucking thing—”
“No, you call me Tinkerbell,” you correct. “And Princess. Which is nice. But Queen trumps Princess. Sorry.”
He makes another noise before spinning around in his seat, turning his back to you. “Fucking ridiculous. Fine, have your fucking tea parties and your fucking nicknames while I get some real shit done.”
“It’s not a tea party, it’s lunch—”
“Oh, my apologies, your Royal Fucking Highness.”
You smirk.
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“You’re kidding.”
“Nope. Got it stuck right up there. Poor thing had to go to the emergency room just to get it removed.”
Lucas laughs – a loud, infectious laugh – while glancing down at his plate with a shake of his head. “Shit. I bet he enjoyed that.”
“No. No, not at all,” you chuckle. “And he wouldn’t speak to me for about a week afterward. Honestly? It was the best week of my life.”
“I imagine.” He runs a long finger around the rim of his glass in thought. “So, he’s always been like that, then? Kind of…sullen? And moody?”
Smiling to yourself, you run through your memories of the brooding man you’ve known for years. Remembering the first day you met, and the way you instantly became enamored by those bright green eyes and chestnut curls.
“No,” you admit. “No, he used to be…fun. Nice. Shy, even.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, he was…I mean, he was nervous, I think. It was one of his first jobs out of university, and I think he just wanted to do a good job.”
“Makes sense,” Lucas replies. “From what I’ve seen, he’s quite good at what he does.”
“He is,” you agree, almost begrudgingly. “Always has been, which is really annoying.”
He smiles. “So, what happened? What made him switch?”
You release a heavy sigh and shrug your shoulder. “Honestly…I don’t know. There was a bit of a dark period. He stopped talking to people, stopped going out. Got a motorcycle of all things. And then he just…wasn’t the same.”
“And he never talked about it?”
You snort. “No, Harry doesn’t…talk. About personal things. At least not with me. And asking never gets me anywhere.”
A quiet pause settles over your small table before Lucas leans closer.
“I think he trusts you, Duchess,” he says. “And I think he’s scared of how much.”
“That’s quite an observation from someone who just met him.”
“What can I say, it’s my superpower,” he teases. “But I mean it. His hostility felt…forced. Like he was putting up a wall to save face. And if he really didn’t like you…he wouldn’t spend so much of his time trying to be near you.”
It’s a nice thought. Sweet, even, and you’re almost tempted to entertain the idea.
But you know Harry. You know his cruel jokes, and his pensive demeanor. You know that he fucks to drown out the rest of the world, and that he’d rather spend the rest of his life alone than in someone else’s company.
So, you simply sigh, and offer Lucas another shrug. “Yeah, well. If that were the case, I’d hope he’d at least—”
“The fuck is all this?”
The two of you turn toward the sound of Harry’s huffed remark, smirking to yourselves when you see that familiar frown.
“Uh…lunch,” you reply calmly, raising an eyebrow. “Like I told you.”
Harry comes to a stop just beside the table, flicking his glare between you. “It takes you a fucking hour to eat?”
Your eyes narrow. “It hasn’t been an hour, and we were talking.”
“So you were wasting time?”
Lucas grins, and you catch the way he glances down at the table to hide his amusement.
You straighten up and direct your displeasure toward Harry. “We were not wasting time, we were eating and getting to know each other. Is that all right with you?”
“No,” Harry says simply, and it infuriates you. “You don’t get paid to talk shit.”
“We were not—” You suck in a sharp breath, silently commanding yourself to remain relaxed. “Do you want something?”
“Yes, actually. Prescott wants to see us.”
You blink. “Why?”
“Don’t know.”
You look to Lucas, confused and slightly annoyed while Lucas leans back curiously.
“I’ll come with you,” he offers as you both stand. “If it’s about the project, maybe I can help explain—”
“We don’t need your help,” Harry interjects bluntly. “And he didn’t ask for you. He asked for us.”
You shoot another peeved look his way. “Harry—”
“Really, it’s no problem,” Lucas tries. “I probably need to get caught up, anyway—”
“Then catch up on your own fucking time,” Harry nearly snaps, large hand outstretching to snatch onto your upper arm. “If we need you, we’ll ask for you.”
With that, he begins to drag you away from the table, leaving Lucas and his mystification behind.
Stumbling along, you begin to fight against Harry’s firm grip, already wildly annoyed. “What the fuck is your problem—”
“Your car is fixed, right?” is all he says, keeping his eyes forward as he leads you through the lobby and toward the parking lot.
You hesitate. “Uh…yeah? Why?”
“Where is it?”
Your lashes flutter as you look from him to the array of vehicles before you. “Um…there. By the tree.”
With a short nod, he yanks you forward, guiding you to your car without so much as an explanation. 
Still irritated, you slip yourself free right as he stops beside the trunk. “The hell are you doing—”
He opens the backdoor. “Get in.”
“What?”
“I said get in,” Harry repeats, “Duchess.”
You frown. “And why would I do that?” 
“Because I’m gonna fuck you.”
And you almost want to laugh because you can’t believe where he got the nerve. “You’ve got to be kidding—”
“I’m not,” he says, rather assuredly before guiding his glasses back up. “Get in.”
“Harry…this is so fucking—”
“Don’t care.” He nods his chin toward the backseat. “In, Princess.”
You reckon you should stand your ground and refuse him. Tell him how childish he’s being, how vulgar, how rude. Make it clear that he doesn’t get to stomp his foot and demand you do as you’re told just because he’s upset.
And yet…your legs urge you forward until you’re slipping inside the car and settling on the other side.
Harry follows suit, yanking the door shut to close out the rest of the world before facing you. “Take off your jeans.”
However, your expression is menacing as you begin to fumble with the zipper on your pants. “You’re so fucking pathetic, you know that?”
“Yeah,” he says simply, but he’s beginning to smile as he tugs off his own belt. “But I’m not as pathetic as whatever the fuck that was.”
“What was? A harmless, friendly lunch?”
“Please,” he snorts. “He was clearly flirting with you, and it was hard to watch.”
Your eyes roll as you tug your jeans down your legs. “He was not flirting with me, he was just being nice—”
“Guys aren’t nice,” he retorts. “Not for nothing. He wanted something from you, and I spared you from having to pretend you were interested. You’re welcome.”
“Oh, really? And what did he want? To fuck me? Like you so desperately want to do?”
He scoffs, but he’s smirking. “I fuck you to make you feel better.”
“Right, okay.” You wiggle your underwear down your thighs. “Who’s to say he wasn’t gonna do the same?”
“He wasn’t,” he replies simply. “Trust me. Get up.”
With a huff, you oblige, turning around so you can settle on your hands and knees while Harry gets situated behind you. Strong hands melding to your hips to keep you steady.
His fingers move to smooth between your cheeks and down to your cunt, stroking it softly to prepare you.
Then, he chuckles. “And who is this for, hm?” he taunts, dipping into your arousal to spread it around. Ignoring the way you inhale a sharp hiss. “Me or him?”
You brace yourself against the seat of the car, chin dropping to your chest. “Him,” you grit. “Obviously.”
Harry hums, thumbing at your clit. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
Suddenly, there’s a sharp smack to your left ass cheek that makes you reel, the pain instantly dissolving into pleasure as you whine. 
“Try again,” he tsks before slipping a practiced finger inside. “And this time…be honest.”
“I’m always honest,” you argue, already breathless from the feel of his touch. “How could it ever be for you?”
You can’t see him, but you imagine he’s smiling, entertained by your bratty behavior as he adds a second digit. Curling and pumping at a deliciously slow pace. 
“You’re right,” he finally answers. “You hate me. You’d never get wet for me.”
You swallow another noise. “Exactly.”
“And if I fuck you…you’ll moan his name. Won’t you, Tink?” 
“Yes.”
“Think about him the whole time. Beg him for what you think he can give you.”
“Shit—”
“Imagine his tiny, soft little cock. Too small to get you off. Probably wouldn’t even feel it, would you?”
He’s cruel. Sadistic and outrageously annoying. But he knows exactly how to play you, and you damn him to hell for how well it works. 
He reaches around your body to tug your shirt up, pushing it over your tits until he can take a nice handful.
You love his hands. Love the way his skin feels against yours. The way he tweaks your nipple and rolls it around.
“Like that, don’t you?” he coos, the rhythm of his strokes through your pussy ever steady. “Know you do. Cause I know your body, Princess. Better than he ever will.”
You try to ignore the pleasure that ripples across the deep of your stomach, keeping your focus on the stitching beneath you. You hate when he’s right.
Suddenly, and without warning, he rips his fingers out, leaving you empty and dripping while you groan.
“Easy,” he tuts, now tugging his cock free. He shifts some, propping his leg up onto the seat while his other foot remains on the floor. “Gonna have to be quick, aren’t we? Since you wasted so much of our lunch break with him.”
You exhale a scoff at this, glancing back just long enough to glare.
He grins.
“Stay still,” he instructs, dragging the tip through your folds. Spreading you gently and moaning when he sees his cock glisten with you. “Just like that, s’a good girl. Gonna make it better. Gonna fuck you right.”
The first push in is heaven. It always is, and you aren’t sure why. Like adding the final piece to the puzzle. Complete, in a sense.
Your nails curl into the seat below, a futile attempt at finding some stability as his thick cock stretches you open. 
You hear him hiss through gritted teeth, his hands once again finding your waist to hold you in place. “Breathe,” he suddenly calls, smacking your leg once. “You’re not breathing.”
“Sorry,” you gasp, forcing air back into your lungs. “Don’t…don’t know why I do that.”
He makes a small, entertained noise before allowing you a moment to adjust. “Feels that good, yeah? Do I take your breath away?”
“Blow me,” you retort, but you can’t help smiling. 
Finally, he settles himself all the way, sinking into your warm cunt rather comfortably as you both release sighs of relief. 
“There it is,” you hear him murmur, his fingers curling into your side before he pulls back. “Okay, easy. Easy, Tink, yeah? Shit—”
The rapid but hard pace is addictive. Perfectly full and pleasurable with each thrust and snap of his hips against your ass. 
Despite the somewhat small space, Harry finds a way to bend your body to his will. Keeping you below him as he drives himself faster and faster. Uncoordinated and unrhythmic. He’s merely chasing the feeling, chasing the way your pussy pulls him in. Clenches around him, soaks him, keeps him warm.  
“You know what?” he suddenly seethes, surging forward until he finds a new angle. “I think you were right…think you should have gone with him.”
You want to respond – want to make any other noise besides these strained whimpers, but it’s useless. Your voice forming around his name yet again as your toes curl.
“You were better before he came along,” he says, hand coming down to slap against your ass. The sound echoing around the tiny constraints of the vehicle. “Tighter. Needier. So fucking easy.”
Your lashes flutter, eyes rolling back. He’s feeding into the part of you that likes to be degraded, and you feel a chill dance down your spine.
“Did anything I fucking wanted. Took my cock like a good girl,” he continues. “Let me stretch you. Let me train you. Break you. Have my fucking way with my fucking pussy. Behaved so well for me.”
Another spank is had to your tender skin, and you cry out as you bury yourself into the seat below.
“Now, well…now you're just useless to me. Aren’t you, Princess?” His movements get sloppier. Faster. “Now you waste your time with him.”
In any other moment, you’d refute his comments. Play his game, egg him on.
But in this moment – a moment where your singular focus is him and only him – you find that you can only shake your head quickly and with misery. “No. No, just you.”
You hear him chuckle, and it makes a new wave of arousal rush between your legs. A type of praise you thrive on. “Just me, huh? But you’re not my whore anymore, are you? You’re his—”
“No,” you whimper, writhing when he reaches down to press his fingers to your clit. “Yours…you…only you.”
“I don’t know, Tink. Seemed awful smitten with him. Same way you used to be smitten with me—”
You can do nothing but whine pitifully as you push back into his touch, ass raised and spread in front of him.
Another smack ripples across your cheek before he kneads the flesh with his free hand, circling your clit with the other. “What? What do you wanna say, baby, hm? Wanna beg me to let you cum? Is that what you want?”
You try to nod, but your cheek is pressed firmly to the seat of the car. 
“I know you’re close,” he murmurs, shifting some so he has a better position to fuck himself into you quicker. “God, you’re so fucking close. Can feel your pretty little walls clamping down on me. You’re fucking shaking, baby, come on. Come on, let go. I’ll let you cum. Go ahead.”
To accompany his instruction, he begins to rub the sensitive nerves in a harder fashion. Pressing them down as he forces your body to comply.
It happens all in the same moment. There’s no time for preparation or warning as you release a strangled gasp that disappears into his equally fervent moan.
Instantly, he releases your clit to take hold of your hips with both hands, and slam his cock into you – sheathing himself completely as he releases his load.
It’s familiar and incredible. The car is hot and filled with the sounds of your ecstasy. You’re drowning in it – drowning in him. In the way he makes you feel, in the blinding pleasure that still travels down the back of your neck all the way to your toes.
It’s deep and it’s full and it’s endless. One of the best you’ve had, and you can’t help but smile as you work to catch your breath.
You begin to slump forward as Harry chases after you. Slipping his arm beneath your stomach to keep you upright and turn you toward him as his cock slips out. 
“Hey, hey,” he mumbles, glancing over the part of your face he can see. “You all right? You breathing?”
You nod weakly. “Mhm. M’good. So good.”
You catch his soft smile. “Good.”
He reaches for your panties, gently dragging them back up until they settle around your hips. Keeping what’s left of his cum inside of you.
“Just in case Lucas gets any ideas,” he teases, shooting you a wink before helping you sit up. 
You both begin to wrangle your clothing back on, redoing belts and buttons as you work to catch your breath. 
Oddly enough, Harry doesn’t rush to exit the car, and you find yourself somewhat surprised. Instead, he merely readjusts his glasses, runs a hand through his hair, and slumps back against the seat.
And for some reason, the sight of his flushed cheeks and dilated pupils makes you grin. And you find that you can’t resist moving closer and crawling onto his lap.
Once you’re straddled across his thighs, you dip down, and take his lips with yours. Kissing him hard and with everything you haven’t been able to give him before, ignoring his look of his surprise. 
But he kisses you back, exactly the way you knew he would. Taking hold of your body once more to keep you close.
Tongues and teeth clash – it’s messy and rushed, yet effortless and easy. And you can’t help but smile giddily as you tug on his bottom lip.
When you finally pull back to breathe, Harry is wearing a similar expression, seemingly dazed and amused as he holds you on his lap.
Chuckling, you swipe your thumb across his mouth. “God, you’re so fucking annoying.”
He nips at your finger to make you squeal. “I know.”
A quiet moment settles then as you study him, feeling entranced and relaxed by the soft green behind his crooked glasses.
With a gentle smirk, you push them back up, and whisper, “Were you really jealous?”
His snobby scoff makes you laugh. “I was not fucking jealous, Tinkerbell. You just don’t know him.”
“Neither do you,” you retort. “He’s really nice. He just wants to help.”
He groans again, letting his head drop back. “For fuck’s sake, Princess. You’re so goddamn trusting—”
“Yeah, I am. After all, I trust you.”
His eyes fall to yours. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He smiles again, and you feel your heart flutter. Reminded yet again of the way things used to be – a time before the hostility and angry comments.
You think back to what Lucas said. His inquiry on the shift, and while you’re sure nothing good can come from your prying, you find yourself asking, “What happened?”
Harry blinks. “What?”
“To you. To us, I guess,” you ask, growing oddly nervous under his confused stare. “When you first started, you were so…nice. And happy. And sweet, even.”
His expression falls, settling into a chilling frown.
“And then…I don’t know, something happened,” you continue, now a bit quieter. “You changed, you got…angry, and tense, and you just…you hid yourself away, you know? And don’t get me wrong, I like bickering with you, I just…I guess I’ve always wondered what…went…wrong?”
You feel him tense beneath you. The way his hands tighten and the way that soft green turns into a raging storm of indifference and spite.
Almost within the blink of an eye, he disappears into another version of himself. One that refuses to participate in this discussion and one that desperately wants to remove himself from you.
You can feel him slipping away. Can feel the drop in your stomach – a pit a mile deep. Normally, you like to piss him off. But this is different, this is…this isn’t what you want.
He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing once. “Why does it fucking matter?”
“I don’t…I guess it doesn’t,” you stammer, shrugging once. “I just wondered, is all. I don’t mind, or anything, I just…I was thinking about it—”
“Why?”
“I…I don’t know. Lucas asked, and I thought—”
“Lucas?” It’s a venomous scoff that makes you jolt. “Let me guess. He was just trying to help—”
“No, he just…he asked what you were like, and I said that you…you—”
“I what?”
“That…fuck, I just said things used to be different,” you huff, but your cheeks feel warm. You’re embarrassed. Disappointed in yourself for pushing. For ruining the first calm moment the two of you have ever shared. “And it made me think about it, so I…I wanted to ask—”
“Well don’t,” he seethes, releasing your waist as if trying to get away from you. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
“I know,” you agree, sliding off his lap to give him a bit of space. “I know, I’m sorry, I just…I thought maybe I could help.”
He shoots you a look that splits right through you. It’s cold and it’s incredulous and it makes your throat run dry. 
“Why?” he says again, studying you closely. “Why the fuck would you want to help?”
Truthfully, you aren’t sure. “I don’t know. Maybe because there’s a part of me…a very small part…that doesn’t totally hate you? I guess?”
You wince as you say it. You hate the way it sounds. Hate what it implies because you do hate him. 
But not enough to leave him when he needs you.
Harry’s lashes flutter at your response, and he watches you for a moment more before he leans back, and his expression twists.
“Yeah, well…it doesn’t matter,” he mumbles, almost to himself as he reaches for the handle on the door. “So don’t fucking worry about it.”
Confused and somewhat dejected, you lean forward. “Har—”
“I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“…what?”
He sighs, looking down toward the floor. Refusing your eye. “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t…I don’t want to do this. With you. It’s too fucking…there’s too much extra shit. All right, it was fun, but I don’t…I’m done.”
There are a hundred things you want to say. A hundred excuses, a hundred pleas, a hundred retorts.
But none of them feel fitting as you watch him push the door open and step out. 
He hesitates, almost as though expecting you to stop him. To argue and call him back.
Yet you don’t. Because you know that nothing you say will ever be able to change his mind.
He’s already decided.
“Fine,” you whisper, offering a short nod. “Yeah, fine. Whatever you want.”
He looks at you. Finally. Expression filled with a solemn sort of goodbye before he nods as well.
And the door slams shut.
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wosoragebaiter69 · 8 months
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forgotten about you
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barça femeni x teen!reader
request: here
A/N: i just know alexia turned off the tv during the game 😭
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
You wake up, today is what could be described as a neutral day but it’s still your birthday nonetheless. You didn’t want to leave your bed, but you had to. Your family never really celebrated your birthday, only really caring about your brother and his dreams.
Even if it wasn’t the best day for you, a small part of your mind hoped that someone would wish you a happy birthday, at least Alexia anyways. It’s not like you told them though, the Barça instagram page would probably announce it.
You go through your regular movements of the day, traffic is light and you make it just in time.
Walking through, the admin wishes you a happy birthday, you smile lightly saying thanks and continuing to walk into the change room. However when you’re there it’s the same as any old day, it breaks your heart a little but you wouldn’t tell anyone that.
You’re quieter than usual walking to your cubby, it isn’t much of a change considering you’ve been one of the quieter ones since you joined barca, preferring to only be loud late at night when blasting music in your car.
It’s when even Alexia comes in and doesn’t say Happy Birthday that you feel even more hurt than before, out of everyone who would know, you’d just hoped she would. It’s not her fault though, you didn’t tell anyone. Why would she?
Training seems to be a blur, you miss the looks your older teammates give you at certain points. You’ve essentially become someone with no emotions which has somehow made you have a great session. Which in all honesty did not mend your shattering heart, no matter the praises the coaches had given you.
You make an effort to miss everyone after training and head straight home, you didn’t shower and just got up and left ignoring your confused teammates. No matter how much of an introvert you were, you’d always make time to say goodbye. It was a sign to everyone else that something had happened.
You make way to your car and drive off straight away, inevitably you end up sobbing halfway through. Unable to keep your emotions inside.
- - - - -
In the locker room, when you were gone there was silence. A pondering in the air of sorts. Mapi breaks it.
“Is she ok? She’s usually quiet but this… she’d at least say something.” Her statement lingers in the air, no one knowing what to say.
“Oh shit.” The unmistakable voice of Lucy Bronze cuts through the tension.
“Qué?” Many voices say at once. Lucy turns her phone around and shows the birthday announcement from the Barcelona Instagram page.
“How did we not know? Why didn’t she say anything?” Alexia sounds heartbroken, she cares for you deeply and to miss something so important is heartbreaking.
“I’m not sure.” Ingrid’s voice cracks and it looks like she’s about to cry.
Alexia is quick to regain her composure.
“Ok, we messed up. But, we can make this right. In the time I go to her house, talk and get her to come out, you all should do something. Plan a party and we’ll be there in like 1-2 hours. Got it?” The girls nod, seemingly ready to organise something not too big but enough to make up for what they didn’t know.
“Ingrid do you want to come with me?” The captain asks the Norwegian who nods, saying farewell to her girlfriend and teammates. You were very close with her, she took you under her wing a lot and you looked up to her.
- - - - -
You’re crying on your couch when there’s a knock on the door, thinking it’s preachers you ignore it, hoping they’ll leave. Only, the noise gets louder so you wipe your tears and trudge slowly toward the door.
Upon opening, Alexia and Ingrid immediately wrap you in a bone-crushing hug.
“What’s this for?” You say, you thought they’d forgotten about you.
“Don’t act like you don’t know, we’re sorry we didn’t know it was your birthday. We’ll make it up to you.” At Alexia’s words you start crying again.
“No Ale, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have expected anything. I didn’t tell you guys.” You say, feeling slightly bad.
“Elskling, no matter what we should’ve known, were your teammates and we didn’t even do any digging to find it. We made no effort before when we should have. Don’t ever feel like you should dismiss it. It obviously means something.” At her rant, you seem to understand her words as they compute in your mind.
“We did bring you something though nena. One from me and one from Mapi and Ingrid. Then we are going for a drive, ok?” You nod gratefully and get ready for what the two are giving you.
“Here you go.” Ingrid is first, she gives you two small boxes. You open the first one and it’s the Miss Dior perfume you’ve wanted for ages but haven’t ended up getting because you were too busy.
“I- thanks Ingrid.” You beam, she smiles softly back and points to the other one, you open it up carefully revealing a Dior charms bracelet. Your mouth opens wide.
“This is… thank you so much!” You place it down wrapping Ingrid in a hug.
“I’m glad you like it, I heard you said Dior was your favourite designer so I just figured.” It seems your broken heart from before was sealing up because she remembered something you’d told her weeks ago.
Alexia watches the interaction, smiling and happy to see you happy. Not the shell of a person you were at training because they forgot.
Luckily for her and Ingrid, there was a mall on the way to your house with many shops which would definitely satisfy what they needed to get you.
After speaking to Ingrid, you turn to Alexia who is also grinning and hands you a box.
“Aquí.”
You unwrap it, it’s quite big and heavy. When seeing the contents your eyes widen.
“Is this…” She nods her head, smirking. It’s a PS5, Alexia had been pretty strict on no video game consoles considering she wanted you to have a healthy sleep schedule.
“I didn’t think you’d ever allow it- Thank you Ale.” You bring her into a hug before unwrapping it fully and staring at the three things you had received in awe.
“Come on, get dressed we have places to be.” Alexia pulls you from your staring, you get dressed pretty quickly and you’re out of the house in 15 minutes.
- - - - -
You arrived at Patri’s house a little later and walked inside. The rest of the team were there, balloons everywhere and most importantly a cake with 19 on it being brought over by Frido.
Everyone’s singing and your face heats up at all the attention, feeling warm because of the love you’re receiving at the current moment.
When the singing dies down the Swede whispers to you softly.
“Make a good wish kid, it’ll be great.” You nod blowing out the candles and get given a knife to cut down the middle. It’s a pretty plain cake, but if you’re going to be honest you always loved when cakes weren’t so detailed.
The rest of the evening went by in bliss, people apologising and overall having a great time. Yes, they might’ve forgotten. But, they knew their mistake and made this the best birthday you’d ever had.
—————————————————————————
Finally wrote this.. I took too long to write it i’m sorry anon
can you tell what designer i like? (miss dior smells so good i feel rich when wearing it)
anyways i literally need to stop eating original kebab, like it’s so good and taking too much of my money PLEASE
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enwoso · 5 months
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Could we pls have more sunshine/Grumpy reader I love x child reader. Maybe reader is sick and alessia brings her to training just thinking she’s not feeling too well but she starts being sick and alessia is stressed out but it’s just fluff with all of the girls
SICK BUG — alessia russo x child!reader
*part of the grumpy/sunshine universe once again<3*
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today was the conti-cup final in wolverhampton, arsenal v chelsea and alessia would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. this was her first chance of silverware since joining arsenal this season. and she would love nothing more than to lift that trophy at the end of today.
but she also had someone who she had to worry about more which was at the end of the day a lot more important than the cup trophy, that being you.
for the past few days you had been poorly, alessia was hoping that you were going to be feeling better however it was probably the opposite. last night had been a particular rough night as you had been awake for most of it. as if you weren't crying cause you were too hot or too cold, you were crying cause you were coughing and spluttering your lungs up.
alessia spent most of the night drawing shapes on your bare back trying to get you to get at least some sleep along with herself before you would wake up again. the blonde was sure she only got an hour and half of uninterrupted sleep.
when the sun did finally come up, and it was time to get up - you refused covering your face with your blanket, your mum having to carry you down the stairs and sit you on the couch giving you some breakfast which you just nibbled at.
clinging to your mum as she tried to get ready in the short amount of time she had, just before leaving alessia gave you some medicine which was a battle in itself.
"lovie, open your mouth please" your mummy pleaded, as you moved your mouth away from the pink liquid on the spoon, "it'll make you better!"
"no, it taste yucky" you whined, pushing your mums hand away from your mouth making sure that you kept your mouth sealed shut.
a few pleads later and with a bit of a bribe that your mum would let you pick a new toy, you finally caved and had the yucky pink medicine. pulling a disgusting face as the spoon entered your mouth.
the medicine did the trick and eased your illness as well as making you sleepy, as before your mum even had a chance to get you ready for the day you had fallen asleep on the couch — the cartoons playing in the background.
alessia managed to get ready and get onto the arsenal coach that was taking the team to the stadium all with you still asleep.
"a bit early for her afternoon nap is it not?" kyra teased, as alessia huffed sitting down placing your backpack along with her own on the floor.
“don’t kyra”
normally alessia would have laughed or had some remark to the comment but instead it was met with a grumble and a shake of the head as she dragged her hands steph smacking the young australian on the shoulder her as she grumbled holding her shoulder.
"i take it she's still not feeling very well?" steph asked cautiously as alessia hummed shaking her head, as she looked at the two australian who were sitting in front of her.
"no, i think last night was her worst night - she slept a solid two hours" alessia commented, looking towards you moving the blanket from your upper body as your cheeks where starting to go red knowing that if you weren't cooled down you would wake up crying cause you were too hot.
"oh less, are you not tired?" steph said slightly worried for the blonde considering she was going to be playing football soon, not wanting the girl to be overly tired.
alessia hummed, "and then my mum was supposed to be coming to watch her while the games on but her stupid trains been cancelled so she can't even get here!"
"well i'm sure one of the girls who aren't starting won't mind watching her, she's not a bother" steph smiled as for the first time today so did alessia, thanking the girl as you both fell into a bit of small talk.
however you interrupted the conversation, small cries coming from you for "mummy" identical to the ones that alessia heard this morning.
the blonde picking you up from where you were laying on the coach seat, leaving your blanket where it was as you were beginning to burn up as alessia soothed you by rubbing up and down your back as your cries quieted down. your head tucked into your mummy's chest.
the coach stopping a few moments after, alessia knew you were not asleep as you were still twirling the ends of your hair in your fingers an action you did when you were trying to go to sleep.
“lovie? you gonna get down so we can get off the coach?” alessia said, not really asking you more telling you as she peeled you from her chest, placing you on the floor as a few complaints came from you.
“come on the lovie” your mummy said softly holding out her hand for you to hold, her other arm holding her big pink bag which had both everything you needed but also everything she needed.
“where everyone?” you asked, the rest of the team already gotten off the bus, you and your mummy being the last ones off. at you neared the front of the bus, you heard mummy said thank you to the driver before helping you down the steep stairs.
you jumping off the last step, a small smile finding your lips as you walked in front of your mum her telling you which way to go.
“you have a nice nap?” mummy asked as you nodded, “yes, i had a dream” you said so innocently, your mums eyes widening intrigued on what it could have been.
“you had a dream? what did lovie dream about?” mummy cooed, as you giggled a little pausing as you hummed thinking of your dream. “having a pet unicorn when i older” you admitted, walking the corridors of the molineux stadium.
your mummy chuckled a little at your dream, as you continued to tell her about the fantasy of your dream, how you lived with your unicorn in a big candy land.
“you can come visit too!” you cheered as alessia opened the door of the changing room. you finding your mums stop spotting her name on the jersey.
as she put her bag down sitting on the bench, scooping you up onto her knee everyone else around her beginning to get changing into the warmup kit.
as she began to rummaged around in her bag for a tissue for your runny nose. “that’s very sweet of you” your mummy smiled finding the pack of tissues which had peppa pig on the packaging after you demanded them ones in the shop just like you did with plasters any time you fell down and scraped your knee.
you were adamant that the ones with the pictures on made your knee feel a lot better than the ones that were just plain and boring, alessia knew it was just because they had a picture on them and they were colourful that you liked them — no other reason.
alessia wiping your nose as you moved your face further away from the tissue, slipping off your mums knee and sitting on the bench moving so you were snug in the cubby hole picking up your ipad beginning to watch some cartoons on it.
“your here tiny!” you heard a thick irish accent coming from above you, looking up and seeing katie smiling down at you as you nodded in response to her question.
“where were you on the bus?” katie asks, usually you were all over the place moving from one person to the next it helping you to fill the time in especially on away day trips that were long.
“napping, i still poorly” you say a small cough coming from you as katie nodded, “oh yea’ your ma did say something about you bein’ sick,, how you feeling?” the irish girl asked moving to sit beside you as you venture out of your cubby hole you had been in for the past ten minutes while your mummy was getting changed into her kit.
“otay, got a sore throat” you frowned, katie frowning with you — it was sad seeing you so down with an illness usually you were buzzing around the changing room about the football, no matter whether it was games at arsenal or england. win or loose you loved watching each and every match.
“you not repping the arsenal jersey today?” katie pointed to your pink pyjama top, as you shrugged not even knowing if you had it with you.
“mummy!” you yelled to the best of you abilities with your throat hurting, alessia fixing the edges of her hair with a tiny brush which she called the magic brush as it helped to get all your baby hairs into place.
turning to face you with a smile she nodded for you to ask what you wanted, “where my arsenal top?” you asked now wanting to put it on, especially now that katie had put the idea into your head.
“i think it should be in my bag-“ she said putting her tiny brush down and picking up her bag, you peering over her shoulder watching intensely as she dug through the bag looking for the small red jersey.
“it’s not here, oh i must of forgotten to pick it up — sorry lovie” your mummy looked up from the bag, seeing your bottom lip begin to tremble, guilt consuming her as she mentally screamed at the fact she had forgotten it.
tears beginning to fill in your blue eyes but you didn’t know if it was because of the fact you didn’t have your jersey to wear or that fact your head had started to hurt again. a big rush of emotions filling you.
“lovie, it’s okay.” mummy said hoping to squash the situation, you still trying to navigate how to cope with any big emotions you had.
katie moved from her seat on the bench next to your mum, kneeling down in front of you “tiny, dont worry about it, would you like me to go and see if i can get you a arsenal scarf to wear?” katie asked hoping it may help to soothe the situation, while it wasn’t as good as your jersey it was at least something.
you nodded as mummy rubbed you back to soothe you while mumbling a ‘thank you’ to the irish girl, katie rushing off to see if she could get you the scarf as some of the other girls came over trying to cheer you up a little.
minutes later, katie returned a red scarf in her hand as well as some little arsenal flags. a big smile on the irish girls face as she kneeled down like she did moments before hand, handing them too you.
“what do you say to katie?” mummy whispered in your ear as katie put the scarf in your lap while handing you the flags.
“thank you katie” you sniffed, your eyes a little red from the few tears as katie smiled.
“anything for our favourite little gooner!”
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alessia even being ill won’t stop her from watching her team🥹
comments -
katie_mccabe11 our little gooner❤️🤍
1h 153 likes     reply
-> alessia forever!
leahwilliamson glad to see she understands what’s the right part of london!!
1h 212 likes     reply
-> alessia i don’t think she would have it any other way
stephcatley favourite little fan forever!
1h 140 likes     reply
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charliemwrites · 10 months
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Part…. 4(?!?!) of Charmed Slasher Simon
Part 3 is here
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You nearly bump into Simon coming around the corner - just manage to catch yourself. Your eyes get so big and startled, a surprised little “oh!” as you stop yourself just in time. (Pity.)
“Sorry about that!” you breathe, smiling ruefully. “That’s what I get for zooming around.”
Simon offers you a smile that seems to set you at ease. No mask, no eyeblack.
“S’alright,” he assures. “Better now than with boxes.”
You fall for it. Of course you do, his precious little prey. Doesn’t stand a chance against a blooded predator like him.
“Are you moving in?” you ask.
“Yeah, just down there.” He gestures over his shoulder with a thumb. Relishes in how you have to lean around him to see where he’s pointing. The door next to your flat ajar.
“Oh, you’re right next to me!” you observe. “Welcome to the building!”
He tilts his head, knows how it looks when his hair sweeps across his forehead. “Thank you. Nice meeting at least one neighbor.”
You hum, lips curved up. “Well, you say that now. The last guy that lived there said he could hear me sometimes, so if I get loud please give me a knock.”
He chuckles, lets his voice drop just a bit. “I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”
You arch your brows playfully. “Famous last words.”
That seems like the natural ending point of the conversation. He knows it is. But this is the first time he’s had your attention all on him since that night in the abandoned hospital.
“What about the other neighbors?” he asks. “Any rowdy couples or newborns I should be worried about?”
He already knows the answer. Has already marked each and everyone person on your floor as potential collateral if they interfere too much. But you tilt your head, thinking.
“Not that I know of…” you shrug, “though I’m pretty introverted. I don’t, um, see anyone much.”
You weren’t always, you poor thing. Trauma does awful things to one’s psyche.
“Anyway!” you chirp. “Do you need any help moving things in?”
Oh, oh, oh. You precious little lamb. He’s going to eat you whole if you step a single foot into his den.
“Thank you, luv, but I’m almost finished. I wouldn’t want to hold you up.”
You flush so brightly at the endearment, suddenly too shy to meet his eyes. His hands itch to pull your chin up, force you to meet his gaze as he-
“Well, lemme know if you need anything! I always forget something important when I move,” you say. “I’m the one on the left.”
“Will do. What was your name?”
You introduce yourself, slipping your delicate little hand into his, so much bigger and rougher. You bite your lip when you notice.
“Call me Riley,” he tells you, caressing his thumb over yours.
Later that night, you bring him a fresh batch of brownies, babbling, “I hope you don’t have any allergies! I mean, there aren’t any nuts, but I know gluten sensitivity is a bitch and people can be really, really lactose intolerant…”
“They’re perfect, luv. Thank you for making me feel so welcome.”
Your smile is so bright he feels a bit blinded.
“Of course! Happy to have you, Riley!”
Oh, you’ll be have him… eventually.
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iwendix · 5 months
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SUGAR COATED
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request: "hi! i'd like to see some kind of possessive and jealous harin x reader when harin saw reader got close to someone or when reader just want to make harin jealous by flirting with someone (like suji) to make harin gets jealous on purpose so theres a smut scene after that .g!p harin if its okay! pls consider my request if u have time. have a gday!!" | me: thank you, I hope you have a good day too!!🩷 btw, I wrote g!p for the first time and it was fun|
𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: not proofreaded(probably misspellings, etc), smut with a little bit of a plot. g!p harin, jealous!harin, kisses, hickeys(marking), breasts play, possessive!harin, fingering, blowjob, dom!harin x sub!user, unprotected sex(don't do this in real life), rough sex, harin being harsh and rough but adoring, degrading/praising(harin teasing reader with vulgar and dirty words, but then speaks to her gently and lovingly).
𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: you always understood why harin was so obsessed with the game and you knew that the game was very important for her, so you were never against it, and always supported her when she had any difficulties. you were infinitely understanding, but not infinitely patient, so your patience began to wear out when harin began to devote much more time to the game than to you. what's the best way to get attention from your jealous girlfriend? exactly, make her jealous.
game, game, game... everything always about game. It’s not that you’re incredibly needy or ask for too much attention, not at all, but you haven’t been getting even that lately. you snuggle to her, your hands carefully pushing under her shirt, you gently outline her ribs with your fingers and press your lips to her neck, whispering.
"harin... i missed you today..." you softly whisper in her ear, trying to get her attention at least s little. but she just hummed in response and nodded. she doesn't even try to pretend to listen to you, huh?
"yeah, yeah... i missed you too." harin said without taking her eyes off the screen of her phone on which the pyramid game app was open. you frowned a little and decided to go for more reaction from her.
"I'm going to go out with my friend tonigh." you said and fell silent, expecting a million questions about with whom, where and for how long.
"go out?... mhm, delightful we can go out tomorrow if you want..." the audacity!... she's not listening at all? she just listens to some few words from all the sentences and tries to answer so that you won't sulk at her.
"I'm saying I'm going out with friend" you say a bit louder, making accent on "with friends".
"oh. uh, okay? with doah, right?" now she sounds a little more interested but still not enough to your liking. you sighed in annoyance and pulled away, saying something like "forget it" and laying on the bed facing the wall. you like being in harin's house because you can spend more time together but harin just acting like this... with the growing feeling of disappointment you fall asleep, thinking about how tomorrow in school you'll take more serious and provocative measures.
the next day at lunch you sat down at suji's table, starting a casual conversation. you take a bite of the rice cake and a brilliant idea came to your mind. you reach into your lunchbox with your chopsticks, pick up a piece of kimbap and with as innocent as possible smile, hold it out to suji’s lips. for a moment you see how confused she got but her lips parted, letting you place the kimbap into her mouth.
"what do you think?"
"oh. It’s delicious, thank you.” suji says with a little surprised tone of voice, though, the kimbap is really tasty.
"really? I'm glad you like it. you know, I cooked it myself." you say proudly. It wasn't entirely true, of course, but who cared now? clearly not suji who only thought that it tasted really good. you were just taking another piece of the delicious treat with chopsticks and again handing it to suji, when harin noticed with a sideways glance that she had entered the school canteen. you had a hard time not letting your lips curve into a sly grin when you realize that everything is going exactly as you planned, because you noticed how harin is frozed at the entrance and her gaze is directed in your side. you smile again in the cutest way possible, continuing to act as if you didn’t notice harin’s presence.
"would you like a treat? i have some marmalade candies... they are not as sweet as you and not as soft as your sweet cheeks, of course, but still pretty good." you see how suji’s eyes widen in surprise or at how dumbfounded she is by your "incredible” flirting skills, but what matters — harin comes to your table and sits next to you, trying to act casually, unbotheredly, but you see how her hand clenching in fists.
"you never fed me like that." harin says, looking at your chopsticks with her empty gaze. though, you know this look to well, this empty gaze saying more than any words. but you just shrugs and keep going.
"suji-ah, do you want more?" you ask her sweetly and place some of kimbap onto suji's plate. after that you take a napkin in your hands, rise from the table a little and lean closer to suji. you gently touch the corner of her lips with a napkin. "you've got crumbs here. aw, such a cutie, i can help you."
you don’t have time to say another word when suddenly you feel harin’s iron grip on your wrist, and a second later she’s already dragging you through the corridor to the locker room, where she locks the door and pushes you against the wall, making your eyes widen and knocking a gasp out of you when your back lightly hits the wall. you see how the corner of her lips twitches and she bites the inside of her cheek, she literally eating you alive with her eyes.
"what the hell was that?"
"was there something?" you raise an eyebrow, playing dumb. you know how harin hates when you do this, because you’re not stupid at all and she knows it. but you just can't stop yourself, you're too pissed off by how she treated you yesterday.
"you know what i mean!... why did you do that, huh? why the hell did you get along with suji and be so nice to her? you've never even fed me like that!..." oh how jealous harin is... you even notice how she starts to sulk a little. she will probably remember this situation to you for a long time and will force you to feed her for a long time because you did it for suji today, so you should do this for her as well.
"maybe I was just being friendly? or maybe I was just trying to make friends? or maybe I'm just tired of being ignored?" you crossed your arms over your chest, leaning your back against the wall. your eyes are stubbornly directed at harin’s face, not ready to give in and look to the side. It's not your fault, why should you be embarrassed or worried?
"tired of being ignored, you say? ignored by whom? I constantly see how someone looks at you. do you have any idea how annoying this is to me? here is my girl, and everyone is looking at her... why? you're mine, i don't want others to stare at you." she starts out annoyedly, slmost angry, but by the end of the sentence she becomes a little thoughtful. harin is silent for a couple of seconds, and then you notice the playful twinkle in her eyes and the way her lips curl into a sly grin. now you're so close that you can literally feel her breath on you, and now you're literally pinned between the harin and the wall and you definitely won't be able to do anything about it. her gaze roaming over you from top to bottom and from bottom to top and you feel the tension subsiding a little, she adds teasingly.
"though, i shouldn't be surprised, should i? you're such eye candy, no wonder everyone is staring at you. hmm, my bad, baby, it's not your fault you're so beautiful for me that everyone wants to be with you."
you feel your body heating up, blush covering your cheeks and your thoughts slowly dissapearing. you wanted to tell her everything, to tell her how tired you are that she doesn’t give you enough time... oh, it seems that harin has tricked you again. what a devil, she knows how much you love such a sweet talking, and always uses it to get away with everything, always when she says something like that to you, you lose focus and completely forget that she, in fact, was at fault. or you forgot about it at least for some time, good for her too. you’re not sure how everything happened so quickly, but you catch yourself as harin sits down on a chair and pulls you along with her, sitting you on her lap. you gasp, her fingers already working on the buttons of your shirt, while you do the same, trying to take of harin's shirt. your girlfriend succeeds and within a moment there is no shirt or bra left on you, the cool air tickles your skin, making your nipples harden. you can almost feel her grinning as her lips wrapped around one your nipples, as she hears you're cute little gasps an moans. she feels your hands gripping her shirt, which you still didn't managed to take off. her tongue circles around your nipple, you feel harin sucking on it, as her hands roaming all over you body.she occasionally moves away from your chest, only to whisper about how beautiful you look now and how perfectly your body feels under her fingers.
"I feel how you trembling... isn't it funny? just a moment ago you were ready to scream and curse me, and now you’re trembling and moaning on my lap... I think you said you wanted attention, so I'll give you all the attention you deserve, baby"
harin's hands are on your hips, she starts to rock them against herself, making you feel her cock twitching in anticipation through the thin fabric of her pants, amd you feel like you're falling apart in her hands. every touch, every brush of the skin and every grind she did... it's just too much.
"such a pretty little thing you are...you only want me right? mm, you begged for attention from suji so much today that you made me worried. you're mine and mine only, remember? my girl is too good to want anyone else, isn't she?"
her hips make a few light thrusts, again letting you feel how hard she is for you, just the thought about it makes you wet. you want more: more friction, more touching, more attention. you move your hips with upset hmpf, clearly displaying how needy you are for her. you grinding against harin’s thigh, leaving a little wet spot on it through your already soaked with need panties. a satisfied smirk appears on harin's face.
"such a needy girl, all wet just because I let you sit on my lap. it's almost embarrassing. although..." she paused as if thinking about something and then added. "although I love you for how needy you are . I feel powerful because of this, you know? and what could be better than to have power over such a lovely girl like you?"
your cheeks getting warmer, blush spreading across them and you want to say that you feel shy when talking to you like that, but she interrupts you with a kiss. her lips cover yours, and her hand lets go lower, lifting the elastic band of your skirt and panties with her fingers, you feel her fingers pushing apart your wet folds, toying with you and you gasp into her lips. she uses this moment to shamelessly push her tongue into your mouth. you can’t hold back your moan and, and without think you pull away a little, which makes harin have to hold you by the waist, not letting you slip off her lap. your hips already twitching from time to time begging harin for something more significant and she pushes one finger inside you, now unable to hold back a moan either. she breaks the kiss, her lips immediately falls to your neck, she leads a trail of wet kisses along it and occasionally you feel nibbles on your skin and hear harin whispering “mine” into your neck. the movements of her finger are so slow that you feel as if she is deliberately torturing you, just waiting for you to beg... and you will.
"harin, please... more... faster..." you mutter and tilt your head to the said, giving her better access to your neck.
she hummed in agreement but didn't speed up even a bit.
"what exactly you want, hm? tell me and i might consider granting your wish..."
"I want more than your fingers..." you mutter in embarrassment, which only makes the grin on harin’s face grow larger and you feel her dick twitching under her pants, but she is far more patient than you are.
"aww, baby wants me inside? why wouldn't you just say that?" she teased and pushed one more finger inside, moving just enough to make you burn with desire. "if you can't say what tou want, ride my fingers. i think you should earn your treat, after all, you upset me today. or is this too much for you as well? or do you just want someone else? imagining how suji could fuck you, Is that why you were so nice to her? you're such a slut, what a pity... didn't I teach you manners?"
It seems that now you are overtaken by the consequences of your decision to “tease” harin and make her jealous. of course you didn’t want suji, you didn’t even like her, but there was no point in making excuses, the best thing you can do — listen to her. you start rocking your hips up and down against her fingers, moan left your lips, and you speed up, at least, to the pin when you still can maintain balance on her lap. she watches you fuck yourself with her fingers and the previous frown gradually disappears from her face.
"you try so hard to improve, it's almost funny. my sweet girl, doing so well for me, aren't you? just a little more... i want you nice and stretched for me, just how i like you."
she bited her lower lip, this picture where you on her lap, fucking yourself with her fingers, all so needy, guilty, and out of breath, but still so wet, making a mess on her palm. and your eyes covered with a veil of desire and lust. just too much for her to bear, her pants feel painfully tight. harin cursed, her fingers pulling out of your drenched pussy, she lifted you up, making you just stand on the floor and told you to pull her pants and boxers down, and that's exactly what you do. her cock standing proudly right before you, hard from arousal and already covered in precum. you can't help but almost whimper at this view.
"on your knees, baby. being on you knees and sucking me — perfect place for such an attention-slut."
such dirty words, but somehow they make you wet even more, to the point where your slickness slowly flowing down your thigh. maybe because you know that she doesn't mean it seriously, or maybe because you just into this. anyway, you kneel before her. your lips open slightly, you outline the head of her cock with your tongue, licking ans tasting her pre-cum and then you slowly wrap your lips around the shaft. your head moving up-and-down in deliberate motion, and you hear harin's gasp. you trying to take more of her into your mouth, and her hand finds it's way to your head, digging her fingers into your hair, squeezing and pulling it when your lips wrapped around a particularly sensitive part.
"aww, what is it, baby? can't take more?" she teased, her fingers dig into your hair, not painfully, but so that you feel her control over the situation. it's even comforting...
"wanna help? my adorable girl, can’t cope at all without my help, can you?" for a moment her hand lets go of your hair, moving down to your cheek to stroke it. you just look so adorable kneeling in front of her, and how your cheeks suck in when you suck her off and your eyes are full of desire and devotion for her.she gently strokes your cheek, at the same moment your tongue circles around her, you manage to take half of her length, making her moan. you’re really making this difficult for harin, she really wants to “help” you. and she will, she can't hold herself back anymore. her hand finds its way into your hair again, squeezing it, controlling your movements and speed. she forces you to take her entire length, you can feel the head of her cock pressing against your throat. it becomes difficult to breathe but you hold on, trying to please her.
"what is it, dear? too fast for you, huh? hold on a little more... just... fuck!... a little longer..." harin moans and bites her lower lip, it’s just feels too good when you take her all, she loves to feeling when you almost choking on her dick, but still so eager to please her. she loves the look on your face, your teary eyes. your tearful eyes and your hands resting on her hips is all that is needed for her to reach her peak and pour right into your mouth, pulling away at the last second, letting her cum fall on your chest. you feel her release in your mouth and the way it sliding down your throat. you try to swallow, but you only manage to swallow part of it, the rest rolls down your chin and neck in droplets.
"you're such a dummy, baby... didn't I say that you should swallow everything?" harin said in scolding tone, her voice sounds sincerely sad. like she was really upset that you didn't swallow everything.
"I tried to swallow everything, okay? it's just... you know, it was a lot..." you mutter, pouting a little.
she sighed but nodded, you see that she is not upset with you, really, just a little sad but she won't hold it against you. harin tells you to get up and gently pulls you by the waist. she sits, so when you stand up to your full height she has to bend down just a little bit to see your needy cunt. she can't help but hum in delight when she sees you dripping, even the inside of your thighs is already all wet.
"you're so much wetter just because i put you on your knees and you sucked me off? so pretty... you love my cock so much you would beg me for it, wouldn't you?"
all you can do — nod frantically. she wanted her attention abd you getting it. she pulls you even closer, tempting you to sit on her lap. you lower yourself onto her, your hand goes down to your pussy, and you grope harin’s cock and bite your lip, fighting the urge to jerk her off. you point her shaft straight to your pussy and it smoothly slides into you. you moan, you feel so full and stretched, this feels so right, as if being here with harin and shamelessly taking her in school locker room is what you actually exist for. she lets out a satisfied moan, her grip tightening on your hips as she enjoys the sensation of her cock reaching your cervix. she leans forward, nipping at your neck, her teeth grazing your skin as she thrusts harder and faster.
"that's right, feel me deep inside you. fell the attention you craved so much." she growls, her voice filled with lust and pleasure as she feels how tight your pussy is. "feel every inch of me, baby..."
her hips drive into you with furious intensity, the angle allowing her to hit your most sensitive spots with precision. the pleasure builds within you, the intensity growing with every thrust. notuch timepassed before you feel orgasm crashing on you, making your legs tremble. harin climaxed right after you, her warm and stiky load feeling you up.
you are both trying to catch your breath, finding something very comforting and soft in being like this: messy, but so close and happy. you feel harin's hands gently wrapping around your shoulders and her head dropping onto your shoulder.
"i love you" pause "though, don't even think of getting close to someone else."
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carmenized-onions · 3 days
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Loosen Your Grip. | R & D
logline; even when it seems counter-intuitive.
[!!!] series history; so many parts, so many words.
Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. 8 hour mark officially! Lets go!
portion; 15k knowing the next chapters, this trend isn't going to change. they have started to line up with the chapter number, to my chagrin.
possible allergies; i think this one is relatively harmless? Stress though. Everyone's stressed. Idk what to tell you man, it's the bear. oh but more things were yoinked from Season 3!! Think that's just gonna be ongoing tbh. also if this is bad don't tell me. tell me it's really good, actually. i've never doubted a chapter more than I do this one.
pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader it's so fem. it's so she/her'd it's so girl'd i'm so sorry
kofi; if you’ve enjoyed the series, perhaps you wanna tip!
i'm so sorry for the delays beloveds, can you say 'most high stress but high reward month and a half of my life'? i can!!!
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The Monday morning after New York— The first morning waking up in your own bed in a day or two— Comes rudely. Well, not immediately. First you have to roll over and grab aimlessly at your nightstand, searching for your phone to turn off your alarm. Through blurred vision you slide it to snooze, and as you debate going back to bed, your eyes glaze over some texts you’ve received in your sleep, from numbers you never bothered to put in your contacts. It takes a minute to absorb the information and register it as real, but once you do—
“...Are you fucking kidding me?!” 
—You’re definitely not gonna be heading back to bed anymore. You’re wide-eyed and wired— You can probably skip coffee this morning. Maybe every morning forever.
“Oh— I fucking hate this fucking city, I fucking hate Chicago— Fuck this!” 
In lieu of coming to terms with your world shattering news, perhaps this is an important moment to express gratitude, for the things that have gone well in the past few days. 
The rest of the weekend in New York was as lovely as a last-minute trip in a cramped car full of kitchen equipment and four neurotics can be.
Gratitude. Highlight reel?
There’s a bag M and Ms monogrammed with Syd’s, Richie’s, Carmy’s, and your faces in your pantry now. Eva shouldn’t be the only one allowed to have fun. Though snacking on all your cute little faces does make you feel like a slight monster.
Managed to get a good gift for Richie. Thank you Tiffanys. It was certainly an interesting moment when everyone tried to come up with lame excuses as to why they had to split up from the group to definitely totally not go get Christmas presents.
 Carmen’s knife guy wasn’t able to do engravings on such short notice, and you’re not the type to settle for less, especially not with Syd, so that’ll be a next year gift, it seems. You came up with a serviceable back-up while strolling through the MET— Which was a mostly fun field trip, it was very inspiring. You all could've done without Richie's pretentious prattling about postmodern absurdist dadaism. Mostly because you're pretty sure half of it was wrong; but still a good trip, all told.
Still lost on what to get Carmen… You’ve got a week, it’s fine. You’ve done more with less before. How do you subtly ask a guy, ‘hey, what the hell else do you like besides your job?’ You’ll figure it out. Figure it out like you figure out everything else, like you always do. Hopefully.
It's Monday. You've got a week. It's fine. Stop looking at your phone. This is such bad timing. This is awful fucking timing. You’ll figure it out. Stop looking at your phone, stop looking at the texts. Do the Connections, send it to Carmy, he already sent his, be normal… Just such bad timing—
At the very least if you can't bear to look away from the life ruining texts, just shut your phone off. You’ve got to stop ruminating or you’ll rot in bed forever. And you really have to get out on time, today. 
“God wants me to kill myself—” Gratitude. Express gratitude.
The drive back went ‘well’. Everyone had their licenses so the squad took shifts either driving or sitting on the uncomfortable console. Or, in your case specifically, sitting half on Carmen’s lap in shotgun on occasion despite the many complaints from Syd and Richie. You had a good excuse! Neither of you slept for the entire trip just to work on the cocktail and coffee menu. It was practically a sacrifice! It was just easier to sit up front together, okay!? You had to be close, you were scribbling ratios and drawings of glasses into a stolen notepad from the Holiday Inn with pencil crayons bought from FAO Schwarz—
Oh, hey, put that on the gratitude scoreboard, that was another thing that went well. Pretty cool to go to the oldest toy store in America. Might not have gotten the chef in your life anything yet, but the kids in your life are covered— You’re winning best Aunt for sure.
Oh, huge highlight— Didn’t say love you, like some idiot. Got away with that by the skin of your teeth, honestly. Hard to stare up at the Rockefeller Christmas Tree next to the guy and not blurt out something fucking stupid. Thank God for Syd, who stomped on your foot when you seemed a little too doe eyed.
With great pain and bemoaning, you finish expressing gratitude, which hasn’t helped much. You slam your phone screen down on your nightstand and roll out of bed. 
Today’s Monday. Today’s your first day at The Bear. Today that is the priority and there is nothing else to worry about.
You signed your contract last night. Talked to Syd for hours about it, planning next steps and goals and classes and budgets and a million other things. You’re both a little easily excitable, when it comes to lists and plans. Watching you sign yours gave her the ‘confidence’ to sign hers, if you can call it that. Not like you knew she needed the help, though.
“I love my life, I love my life, I love my life…” If you keep saying it while washing your face in the bathroom, it’ll become true, right? …Where’s Sara’s card again?
The Bear doesn’t run service on Mondays, so it’s a good day to do onboarding— Good day to do R and D. …What does one wear to R and D? Don’t need the serving uniform. Don’t need to dress up. Don’t need the jumpsuit… This is the first time you don’t need a uniform and that is bizarre.
You’ll wear your dad’s flannel, at least. Feels illegal to not wear the patch worked flannel. But besides that, you’re just a normal… restaurateur… part of the team…
Your hand hovers over where your necklace sits, in the small jewellery box on your vanity. “Mikey, if you want me to keep wearing it, make my ceiling cave in or some shit.”
You give it ten seconds and nothing falls. With a curt nod to no one, you pick up your book bag filled with loose tools and the menu filled notepad. Leave your bedroom, put your shoes on, grab your keys out of your clay dish tray on the way out.
It’s snowing.
That’s a lot of stuff falling, so to speak.
That’s basically a sign. That’s basically what you asked for.
You head back in, grab the necklace, hook it over your neck, and tuck it under your shirt. Baby steps. You head back out.
…And then soon after, head back in— Forgetting one of the most important things you need today. “The fucking glass, goddamn it!”
There’s a chance that today might be a little bit of an off day for you. No one’s gonna notice that, though.
“Mikey, why didn’t you tell me? You want me to look stupid on my start day, don't you? Fucker.”
You’re good. You’re you. You figure shit out. You’re compartmentalising perfectly and no one’s gonna be able to tell that you’re internally scrambling to figure out where you're gonna live once your lease gets terminated.
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“ ‘Sup with you?” Okay, so Tina did immediately notice upon opening the back door for you. She tries to help you with the huge sheet of plexiglass you’re carrying, but you wave her off, stumbling further inside The Bear. Thankfully it’s a slow start to the morning, so the walk way is clear for your fumbled steps.
“I got it, T, just spot me—”
“Woahwoahwoah—” But alas, immediately Carmen is rushing over, making a big deal over nothing, “Fuck are you doin?” And grabs the thick sheet of glass from you. “Wait by your car next time, why do I gotta keep tellin’ you?”
“I am very capable—” You grunt, but you’re relieved when he takes the weight off you. You nod to the table in front of expo. “Put it on the island.”
“What’s it for?” Carmy asks but he follows direction without hesitation.
“Syd’s idea.” You walk with him, sidling up to Syd who’s already stationed up on the island with what looks like way too much paperwork for Chefs. You bump her shoulder as a greeting, she bumps you back. She lifts up the stack of papers and you pick up her deli container of Coke and ice, letting Carmen slide the glass onto the table.
“Unless it’s bad—” You correct, putting the cup down and digging through the tool bag on your shoulder for the right parts. “If you hate it, then it’s my idea.”
Syd snorts next to you, putting the papers back down on top of the glass. “Nice save.”
“What’s your idea, Chef?” Carmen taps his fingers against the glass, bemused.
You finally fish out two lock hinges from your bag, gesturing to them with a little flair like you’re Vanna White as Sydney explains. “For R and D. Thought since we’re like— Constantly changing shit and needing to review, it’d be like, useful to have a whiteboard— But those are huge and inconvenient for a restaurant— Duh— So—”
“Glass!” You come in with the assist as she rambles on. “On hinges— These one’s lock so you can have the glass sort of tilted up like an easel, or on the station— And then when you start service you can just flip it down off the counter for the night. Easy!”
“And—And—” Like a TV ad, Syd points out, “We can put paper under it and still be able to see— So it’ll make editing clearer— I-I think.”
Carmen always takes a nerve-wracking amount of time to think through other’s ideas, but once he nods, you both breathe easy. “Smart idea. Thank you, Chefs.”
You just smile, and this seems to bother Carm. Or at the very least, something is bothering him, as he frowns. “You got a second?”
Your brows furrow, for a moment, worried. You nod, putting your tools down. Glass can wait. “Always.”
Carmen comes around the counter, before he pulls you aside, Syd whispers over your shoulder, “Trouble in paradise.” Making you snort. When has it ever been paradise?
The two of you lean across from each other in the doorway of Carmen’s office, not quite in, not quite out. He looks worried, and his worrying is making you worry. He’s first to say something, concerned hand on your shoulder.
“Are you good?”
Fuck, he caught you too? “Hmm? Yeah, I’m good, do I not—”
You’re halfway through your response when he interrupts, he seems even more panicked by your words. His hand abandons your shoulder. “Right— Stupid, stupid fucking question— I just— Sorry—”
“Woah—” You grip both his shoulders, rubbing down his sleeves lightly. “Are you good, Carmy? You’re right, sweets. You caught me. I’m a lil’ off today. What gave me away?”
“Right, yes— You’re nice.” He’s saying it more to himself than you, like he needs to remind himself. Even so, it still hitches your heartbeat. “I— I’m good, I was just—You didn’t text me back this morning.”
“Oh.” You say it so breathlessly, with relief. It’s cute that that’s what’s got him freaking. “Sorry, yeah, I’ve been trying to not look at my phone, I just got some…” You shake your hand in the air for effect. “Bleh news. Put a wrench in some things for me, that’s all.”
“Yeah? What’s up?”
“Ah—” You shake your head, waving it off, “Too much to get into. Later, though?”
“Yeah, yeah. Whenever you want.” He nods. “Ah, I wanna get into uhm—” Carmen snaps his fingers a few times, finding the words. “Get into drinks, today. I made all the concentrates and syrups ahead of time—But Uncles gonna come in first with The Computer to go over some numbers shit— Should be here in thirty?”
You nod, squinting. “Is it like… A special computer or something?”
“Computer is a guy.” Carmen says, while Syd yells the same in tandem with him, “Why wouldn’t he be!?” Walking past you both as she carries produce out of the walk-in.
“Why wouldn’t he be?” You grin, reiterating. Your smile soon sobers though, as you finally notice a giant silver blob of machinery behind Carmen. “Baby, what the fuck is that?” 
You’re already walking past him, quickly winding up all over again. It’s a gorgeous espresso machine— “It’s an Ascaso.” Explains Carmen. “It’s the best.” And it’s sitting exactly where your beautiful beat up mistake of a heavily-stained coffee machine used to be. 
“Baby, baby, baby—” you’re looking above and below the station for your rusted companion, hushed and panicked. “Don’t tell me you threw away the old one—” 
“You want the old one?”
Richie’s timing is perfect, as he walks in from front of house, and even from just hearing the last sentence, “Fuckin’ told you, Carm.” He knows the context. He keeps walking— On a mission, seemingly.
“I’m grateful— I- I am.” You kneel down and shove some mixing bowls aside to see if it was tucked in the back of some shelf— It’s not here. She’s not here. “New is good— New is nice— I’ll learn how to use the new one— I will— But— I— I need the old one— You didn’t throw it away, did you?” 
When he stays silent, you turn and look up to Carmen from where you’re crouched on the ground, pleading. “Tell me you didn’t.”
“I— I—” The Chef is nearly sweating from this line of questioning alone. “It— It barely worked—”
“I know it didn’t! That’s the point!”
He blinks. You just seem to be saying all his trigger phrases, today, huh? “That’s the point?”
“I knew how she worked.” You push yourself back up onto your feet. “It’s got an espresso function that doesn’t work, if you tamp the basket the basket literally breaks off so you have to hold it and burn your hand a little— You have to hold the hot water button at the same time as the grind button for some reason or it won’t dispense— It’s literally a fucking nightmare— I covered it in like ten sticky notes of instructions at one point and they became pointless because no one but me was willing to use it. And— And I’ve got it memorized.”
“...And you want that?”
“No one’s gonna know how to take care of her, she’s my baby!” You gesture, albeit a bit too dramatically, speaking with your hands. “If you throw her away or donate her, no one’s gonna take the time to figure it out— They’re just gonna think she’s broken but she’s not, she works! She just needs the right hand!”
A dull silence falls between you, as Carmen purses his lips, squinting. There’s an ever slight chance your ‘I’m totally fine’ facade is cracking. “...Are you sure you don’t want to talk about your thing right—” 
“I’m good!” “...Okay.” “Did you get rid of her?”
“Relax, Handy!” Carmen does not say this. 
You grimace, looking behind Carmen to see Chi-Chi yelling from around the bend, in The Beef’s corner territory. Looking over him with the blue apron calling you your least favourite nickname by far— Well, second least favourite, only to— “She’s over here, Jack-Off. More our speed than rich boy’s ack - queso bullshit…” It’s nostalgic. Bad nostalgic but nostalgic. 
He slaps the top of the machine, you and Carmen both wince as a random spigot falls off it. Chi-Chi clicks his tongue, staring at it in silence. “...Refresher would be good, though.”
You’re already walking back to your damaged darling, patting Carmen on the shoulder as a form of goodbye, he pats your hand back. You don’t get to see him smile, as he watches you get to work. “Don’t fuckin’ call me Jack-Off and don’t touch her, I’ll show you, I’ll break your hand Cheech, I swear—”
The man in question shrugs, a devilish and terrible smirk on his stupid face. “Ey, love a woman in charge. Show me the ways.” 
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Even on your most off days, working with The Beef will always be second nature for you. Even when the space is significantly more cramped than it used to be. 
You rewrite directions on how to use the coffee machine while showing them to Ebra and Chi-Chi. Ebra tends not to learn new tricks, so he stops listening by the time you get to syrups. That’s fine. No one ordered syrups in their coffee at The Beef back in the day all that often either.
Mikey really shouldn’t have invested in all those syrups back then. He really only did it for you and the staff. To be fair, when he did convince regulars to try your coffee they always changed their tune. The people don’t know what they like yet. They will like this. You were his proof that that idea was true.
“You gotta toss these, Boss. Slows you down.” You overhear Cheech saying behind you. You turn to see his arm on Ebra’s shoulder, holding the small blue baskets for sandwiches in his other hand. “Just the wrapping is fine. These people are gonna throw this shit out anyways, waste of plastic.”
Cheech turns his head to you, “Right, Handy?”
“...Don’t call me Handy.” Don’t freak out about throwing the old stuff away. Don’t freak out about throwing his old stuff away. You shrug, looking at Ebra over your shoulder. “Maybe just offer them, if they ask for one?”
“Y’know what the people are asking for, babe?” Cheech sucks his teeth, pulling Ebra closer, who looks nonplussed. “They’re asking where the nearest brick is to throw through our window. This rich people shit is getting on their nerves.”
You sigh, eyes flitting to Ebra for confirmation. “Yeah?”
He shrugs, nodding. “Ninety-eight percent, Jack-Off.” Cheech and the gang have been a terrible influence. How are you going to undo this?
“C’mon, E…” You scoff, but nod as you turn around, arms crossed. Gesturing with the frother as you do. “Well, I’ll make note of that. Now back to the fuckin’ hand frother, Cheech?”
“I know how to crank it, Handy—” “I swear to fucking God—”
“Ey!” Tina comes up to your corner, smacking the back of Chi-Chi’s head with a hand towel when she does. “Don’t talk to the baby like that, clean your mouth.”
He puts one hand on the back of his head, hissing, and another up in front of him, in defense. “Ey, T, it’s all love, aright? Playing!”
“Yeah well, you’re not gonna wanna play wit’ this one. ‘Specially not now—” She nudges you, smiling that coy ‘I’m about to blow up your spot’ smile.
You grimace, attempting to interrupt her. “T, don’t—” “That she’s Jeff’s.” “—Goddamnit.”
“Oh! Oh shit!” Cheech laughs, delightfully shocked. “You finally closed on Charmin’? Congrats—” It’s a blessing and a curse that Carmen, the guy you only ever saw in photos and heard in stories that you had a very minor and not vocal crush on, is now your… boyfriend? Undetermined.
You wave a hand in his face, “Shut the fuck up—”
“So where should I send flowers?”
You hate this family. “For the record, I have not closed shit.”
“What’s closing?” Tina takes a half step back, surveying your face, it doesn’t reveal anything. “What’s that? Gramps?” She turns her question on Ebra, who shrugs, equally as old and unknowing. 
“Well Jack-Off’s a little Mother Mary for my taste—”
You scoff, “So not true, for the record—” but Chi-Chi continues his tirade. “So I suspect she just means they haven't had the ‘are we datey-wating carmy baby?’ talk.”
You all but growl, crossing your arms as you wait for the second tutorial coffee to finish dispensing from the beloved whirring machine behind you. You can get the fuck out of here as soon as it’s done, and you’re praying that’s soon, because this interrogation is about to turn terrible. “We are currently unlabelled, if that’s what you’re trying to say.”
Tina kisses her teeth, poking at your shoulder. “Richie told me you spent the whole wedding together and you come back with no label?”
You sigh, composure falling apart. You are not ready for a mother’s disappointment. “We talked out a lot of important stuff—” “Mija, that is important stuff!”
“I just— We’ll talk eventually—” 
Chi-Chi conveniently interrupts you when it looks like Tina’s about to go off into a full rant on the downfall of romance in modern relationships. “So you’re still on the market, Handy?”
“For you?” You smile, then drop it. Pushing your hand against his forehead. “Never. Now froth the fucking milk.”
He mumbles an endless series of expletives, but gets to work. You give him a quick tutorial on the hand frother— You fought hard for the old machine, but you are overjoyed to see an automated steamer and frother on that Ascaso. That part is gonna be a dream. You can make so many new drinks for Carm— The menu. 
When you finish, you take the latte from Cheech to hand to Tina; and when you do, you catch her looking… off. She’s staring at the piled up diner baskets, next to the unused napkin dispensers. 
You put your hand on her shoulder, massaging it lightly. “You good, T?”
Your hand shocks her back into reality, “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, baby.” It takes her a second to remember where she is. She takes the latte, nodding. “I’m good. You good?”
“I’ve got my complaints.” You shrug. “But nothing I won’t survive.” Probably.
Tina takes a sip of her coffee, continuing to nod. She wants to dig deeper into your thing, you want to dig deeper into hers, but the painful groaning from the front of the kitchen, “And when did I fuckin’ greenlight this?” interrupts both your trains of thought. Uncle Jimmy tends to have that effect.
With a knowing nod, you walk together to the front, leaving Ebra and Cheech to continue experimenting with the coffee machine before they open their side of the restaurant. 
You watch from the sidelines as Carmen defends his choices, “The old one was shit, she was burning her hands on it. She’ll need the three groups to keep up.” and you’re able to quickly glean they’re talking about the new espresso machine.
“Okay, I hear that,” Jimmy nods, “but why the fuck did it need to be ten grand?”
“Ten?!” You can’t help but shout, you slap your hand over your mouth. Budget is none of your business. But fucking ten? You part your fingers to mumble through your hand,  “Sorry, continue.”
Carmen cares too much about your drink menu. Berzattos tend to invest too much into your special interests. Though this time, instead of syrups, and in addition to a 10k coffee machine, you see on the stainless steel table your shared sketches laid out alongside all the ingredients needed– Including the concentrates, whips, and other compounds Carmen made ahead of time for you. He’s so sweet. God, you love him. God, that’s disgusting. They have all, of course, been haphazardly shoved aside though, to make room for The Computer’s— Computer. Carmy’s nonplussed by that fact, it seems.
Jimmy gestures to you, deadpanning to Carm. “See, Chip understands the power of the dollar.”
“I’m not involved.” You add, waving your hand, it’s a terrible moment for your favouritism to shine through. Though you do enter the radius of this trainwreck of a quarterly review, kneeling down by the kitchen island to finish what you started with the plexiglass and hinges. “Ignore me, continue.”
The men stand on either side of you, as you bolt down the hinges. Carmen brushes off the dollar comment with a simple, “It’s the best.”
Why do you need the best? You think; Jimmy concurs with your brain, speaking for both of you. “Why do you need the best?”
The question seems to make no sense to Carmen. He freezes, blue-screening. “Cause—”
You duck your head under the counter at just the right moment— Or just the wrong moment? Because you don’t get to see Carmen looking down at you, then back up at his uncle. “Because.” 
You don’t see Uncle Jimmy practically roll not just his eyes but his entire body back into himself, witnessing the puppy love that is going to ruin his credit score. “Chip…”
When you slide yourself out from under the counter, Carmen puts his hand on the edge of the counter to make sure you don’t hit your head— Because you have an awful tendency to do so. You’re too focused on the way Uncle Jimmy says your name like you’re in trouble to notice though. “What’d I do?” 
“You’re you.” Jimmy grimaces, shaking his head. It’s not your fault. Not completely. “F-Y-I– Your boss just cut your bar budget by ten grand.”
“Hm.” You squint, lips in a line. “And what do I do if the budget I was planning was just ten grand?”
“Well respect yourself more than that.” Cicero scoffs, arms crossed. “Take twenty, now you’re back to ten. You’re welcome.”
“Generosity knows no bounds.” You shake your head, laughing him off as you duck your head back under the counter. “Thank you, Unc.”
“Sorry, who exactly are we giving twenty thousand?” 
“Oh fuck—” Despite Carmen’s best efforts, you still manage to bump your head on the roof of the counter, alarmed by the new voice— The Computer, you assume. “Fuckin—Ow— Sorry! Y’know what, hol’ on, let me just finish up here—”
“It’s the drink budget. Tony’s the new mixologist.” Natalie answers for you. “And sommelier.”
“Ah,” hums The Computer. “She’s the one we’re paying Quarter-Master for?”
“Nah, that’s me.” Gary strolls by, calling out to wherever his manager has gone, “Richie, you find that book yet?!”
“I’m taking them too!” You finally pop your head out from underneath the counter, finished bolting in the hinges. “Apparently I need actual W-S-E-T certification and a bunch of memorized google searches, youtube videos, and wine review blogs do not legally make you a sommelier.”
“I think it’s impressive you made it this far on basically nothing.” Syd taps the top of your head, she’s the one who made the call on schooling. She looks to her co-owner. “Classes are coming out of the advanced.”
“So is this.” You tap the plexiglass, nodding up to Carmen as well. “You’re workin’ with like… A thousand left for pre-paid work?”
“Hm.” Carmen nods, looking at The Computer, and you turn your head to him too. “Did you account for that?”
“Did I account for a thousand dollars?”
Carmen shakes his head like a white flag immediately, hearing the sarcastic tone, “Alright, you don’t—”
“A thousand dollars does not take you out of the hole, man.” He’s right, but you don’t love the tone. He tilts his head, reading something off his screen. “Payroll is a little high, for a somme.”
“I don’t disagree—” You try to say, because yeah, your contract does have a weirdly high salary.
But Jimmy, Nat, and Carm all speak over you. “It’s not.”
“That’s not pay for a somme, that’s a pay for Chip, you don’t need to enhance on that.” Jimmy deads the topic then and there. “You’ll see. Just trust me. You were sayin’ somethin about tiny plants?”
“Microgreens.” Says Syd. 
“Yes. Do less of that.”
And you just watch, from the sidelines, as this crew flows into a bit of a repetitive we’re doing this, which gains the response, well stop. Do less, charge more, figure it out, duh, don’t duh– What’s that you’re hearing about a daily changing menu? Carmen seems to be the only one campaigning for it. At a point he just starts pacing, pointing at numbers on The Computer’s screen that he doesn’t understand but pretends he does.
You’ve got a million ideas, but it’s none of your business. It very literally isn’t your business, until Jimmy turns his head just so, grimacing at the non stop debate, to see you standing aside, arms crossed.
He sighs, beckoning you to the table, like it’s a witness stand. “What’s that fuckin’ face on your face, kid?” Oh, for the love of God, why are you so easy to read?
You pfft, shrugging. “I’m not makin’ a face—!” But you come forward nonetheless as he boldly speaks over you. 
“You’re makin’ a face,” — “This is just what I look like,” — “Y’know how I know you’re makin’ a face?” — “Enlighten me.” — “Cause it’s the same fuckin’ face—”
He takes this moment to point at the face on your face. “That your dad makes.” A man that gambles as well as Cicero is a man that knows your dad’s tells. And a man that knows your dad’s tells is a man that knows your tells. 
You bite down on your inner cheek, poorly pretending to be confused, shrugging again, “I dunno what you’re talking about.”
“Come off it.” “I’m not on anything, Unc—” “You’ve got a problem, say it.” 
“I don’t have a problem!” You have a lot of problems, but they can’t know that. That makes you judgy and pushy— You don’t know enough about the business to have an opinion. “I’m just observing, that’s all.”
Uncle looks up, to Heaven, to Mikey, and sighs the world’s heaviest sigh. It sounds painful. When he finally tilts his head back down to you, it’s to say, “C-K.”
“Cicero.”
“Y’know why I’m able to pour mas queso into this fuckin’ kid?” He loosely gestures in the direction of Carmen, who in response seems to bite down a lot of venom. It’s bad to think he’s pretty when he’s annoyed, isn’t it?
You tilt your head, “Honestly, I always assumed some sort of mob association.”
Jimmy holds back his laughter, it comes out as a disgruntled cough. He shrugs. “It’s because when I saw your dad at the table, makin’” —He gestures to you— “That fuckin’ face, I knew to pull back.”
“You don’t need to pull back.” Your reply is a touch too panicked and instant for anyone’s liking, makes it a little less believable. But Cicero smirks, and you know that face as well as he knows yours. Check. He’s got you. 
“Then speak on it.” And he pushes you forward, just slightly, like a slap of support on your back. You grimace, looking to Carm and Syd for permission to have opinions, and they both nod, like it’s obvious. With great hesitation, lips pressed together, you finally allow yourself to come off as judgy, opinionated, a fixer. 
“I think the chargers are kinda stupid.”
A plate no one eats off of, that they still have to clean, that’s on top of another plate? Definitely super necessary. Definitely not some rich people NOMA bullshit.
You look to Syd, apologetic. She shrugs, open mouthed, head tilted, “I– I mean, I didn’t invent them.” 
“It’s presentation.” Carmen nods, to himself. He doesn’t like to budge. “That first look at the table affects everything.”
“Yes.” You nod, directly across the counter from him. “I agree, I just think the plates are stupid.” 
“You got somethin’ better?”
“Think so.” You hum, tilting your body back to yell to the back of the restaurant. “Ay, Cheech! Pass me a fuckin’ basket!” 
It’s without hesitation that you hear, “Hut!” before even seeing the man. You see the blue basket being hurled towards you before you see the man. You catch it, albeit a bit clumsy, but you catch it. 
You toss the basket on the table. Everyone stares. You defend yourself before anyone even criticizes it, “Easier to clean than plates, because you just need to rinse the plastic. Ties together a colour scheme, costs nothing, they’re gonna be tossed anyways.”
“It looks cheap.” Carmen tuts, but he really does seem to be trying to hear out the idea, despite his reservations. 
“It looks purposeful.” You double down, leaning on the counter just so, “It carries a story, that we didn’t forget where we started.”
“Ooh.” Marcus, clocking in just in time, hums behind you. “Kind of a bar, Chef.”
“Thank you, Chef. Morning, Chef.” You fist bump him over your shoulder, not looking. Too focused on convincing the man before you, you let him think in silence for some time before asking. “Think on it?”
“No.” Carmen shakes his head, and you’re a little crestfallen, for a second. “It’s good. Let’s do the baskets, yeah—” He then remembers to ask for permission, he turns his head to Syd, “Yeah?”
“Yeah? Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah. Baskets are good.” Syd nods to Nat. “Can you look into, uh—”
“Returning the expensive as fuck earthenware shit? Happily.” Nat is far too cheery upon receiving a paperwork rabbit hole of a mission. She brushes past you, excitedly whispering, “Please keep going.”
“Oh, uh—” Are you some sort of thought leader now? “Well, uhm, I think I heard you sayin’” —You snap your fingers at The Computer, “That R and D cost is a little high?”
“A lot high.” He corrects.
“Kid with crayons.” Jimmy tuts, “Need to pull back a little.”
Carmen’s screwing and unscrewing the cap of a mason jar— Marmalade, it’s for Syd’s drink. He made it this morning, it’s labelled down to the minute.  Just let him work on his fucking drinks menu, please God. He’s been dying for this moment and it’s being thrown off by this bullshit. 
He can’t keep biting his tongue, “Hey, uh, why don’t you just tell us to do everything a little bit less so we can skip this and get back to work, huh?”
You hear Uncle Jimmy inhale as preparation to verbally beat Carmen’s ass. You put one hand up in front of the old man’s face, the other hand grabs a dry-erase marker. “He didn’t mean it like that and he apologizes, Unc.”
“Does he now?”
“He does.” You drop your hand, focusing on lifting the glass panel, clicking the locks in place to keep it up. You nod to Carmen through the pane. “Right, Carmy?”
Poor Carmen nearly deflates, “...I’m tryna be the guy.” 
“Not what the guy does, baby boy.” You hum, uncapping the marker with your teeth. You turn your head to Cicero. “Guy had a lapse, he forgot you were his boss and just thought of you as family, so he spoke to you like family, cause he loves you, Unc.”
Cicero nods, tilting his head just so at Carmen. “S’that right?”
Carm manages to shake his head and nod all at the same time, “S’a facet.” 
“....Well, just don’t do it again.” A crisis is averted and an uncle is softened. 
“I love to see a family come together.” You hum, nonchalant, writing on the glass, ‘R & D - Cost: Bad’
“Bring it from bad to good.” The Computer notes very helpfully. “You can cut—”
“Hol’ on.” You put your index finger up, effectively shushing him, “Just think about it first. We don’t have to go straight to cutting. Let’s look at our options.”
“Your options are fucked.”
“Just—” You tut, rubbing the bridge of your nose, man, you really are becoming your dad right now. Loosen your grip, Jack. “Widen the scope. We cut costs through returning those chargers— How else can we ‘return’ shit? Carmy?”
Thank God you’re the guy, because Carm can’t hack it. “Heard? Yes?” And frankly, he doesn’t want to.
“What’s the main cost on R and D?”
“Supplies. Food— Y’know, lot of trial and error.” He nods to a bus tub filled with failed attempts over this morning’s session. But you like that, right? “Trying new things, y’know?”
“...Carmen.” He doesn’t answer, because he can hear he’s in trouble. He is staring at you stare at the tub in what seems like a sort of contemplative, serene, searing anger. “Sweetheart, are those four wagyu filets in a fuckin’ bus tub?”
“Yes, it’s got a blood orange reduction, but– But Syd suggested mint—” 
You don’t let him finish, “Is it poison?”
“It’s not.” “It’s edible?” “It is.” “Okay, so then, babydoll, why is it not being eaten?”
Syd winces from the sidelines, hissing under her breath, fist over her mouth. Carmen cannot help but notice. You’re perhaps… a dash upset.
“We can’t eat everything.” “Did you offer it to the crew?” “Yeah—” “You offered it to Nat, Unc, Cheech— All the servers? Or did you just offer it to the cooks?” “...Heard.” “Did you take a bite of all of these?” “Not all.”
You start writing on the glass again, explaining as you do, “Okay. So then uneaten food from R and D should be sold on one of those fuckin’ food waste apps— Too Good to Go, or somethin’. We advertise it to The Beef regulars, try to get the other side of our city to understand the finer things, prevent any brick through window incidents, how we feel ‘bout that?”
You remember small things far too well. You did make note of the rich people shit getting on The Beef customers' nerves. You make note of the people who live on your block, who cannot afford to eat here. You make note of the fact that Carmen resents subtracting with a passion now, so you find another way. He can still try new things, just needs to handle the results better. 
“...You keep a binder or somethin?” Is all Carmen can think to ask. 
“Steel trap memory.” You tap the cap of the marker to your head, “Good though?”
He nods, “Good.”
“Good.” You take a breath, dragging a hand down your face, practically coming out of a fugue state. Carmen knows your need to have something to do, just as much as him, so he slides the jar of fig marmalade to you from across the table. You take it happily, unscrewing the lid. You’ve also been dying to get to this menu.
But Richie comes up from behind, scratch and sniff wine book in hand— Didn’t Mikey get you that? It  was meant to be a gag gift but it’s actually quite useful. “Chip, can you also tell Chef Carmen the daily menu fuckin’ sucks?”
“Re-lax.” You sigh, pulling over all the ingredients and tools you need for Syd’s drink. “Syd told me ‘bout this though, daily pre fixe, or whatever it’s called?”
“It’s—” Carmen crosses his arms over himself, immediately defensive but trying his best not to be. “It’s an idea I’m floating, for now— It’s what the best restaurants do, and— And even if we don’t have full intent on getting a star, right now, it’s still important.”
“I just think…” You hum, trying to figure out the most delicate way to say it. “It doesn’t exactly give you the most room to collaborate or create—”
“The whole point of it is to collaborate and create—”
“Oh yes,” —As if waiting in the wings for this, Richie pops out behind you again, “What wasssit? ‘Vibrant Collaboration’ and ‘Constantly Evolve Through Eating My Own Head like a fucking ouroboros’.”
“Relax.” You hiss this time, putting a hand up in front of Richie. You can speak for yourself. “You don’t have time to be creative or collaborate when you’ve gotta make decisions in less than twelve hours.”
Carmen tries to defend, he gestures to the one good plate of wagyu with mint that came out of this morning, “But the—”
You nod and hum, knowingly. The sweet sound stops him. You already know the answer, but you ask anyway, as you scoop fig marmalade into your cocktail shaker. “Did you get to try the pop rocks thing yet?”
“Well, no, it’s not viable to perfect that in such—”
“A short amount of time, angel?”
“Oooh…” Richie mimics Syd’s movements, air whistling between his teeth as he takes a sharp breath. He gestures, standing behind you, staring at Carmen as he slides his thumb across his neck. He mouths, ‘Mad mad.’
Carmen’s two closest friends are freaking him the fuck out and one of them wasn’t even doing it on purpose. How do they know that? How can they tell that? Are you gonna break up with him? Are you even dating? This work together thing was a terrible idea—
“You don’t have time to be thoughtful about things, if you do an entire menu every day, you’re gonna have to cut corners on what you’re willing to experiment with.” You reword, more productive, better for his brain. “Plus, prix fixe is a fuckin— In—In my opinion, is sort of a lacking idea, maybe, for a new restaurant.”
Carmen’s willing to give up the daily rotation, he’s not so willing to give up the pre fixe. “It’s what the best restaurants do.” Carmen loves the word best, huh?
“Have those restaurants—” You bite your tongue from what was going to be an immediate catty response.
You try again, measuring out orange liqueur and lemon juice as you do so. “You’re thinking like a Chef and you need to think like a customer— A- A guest, for a second.”
Carmen gives you the floor, mostly because he cannot compute the command. You continue, “Let’s do a little roleplay, alright? Let’s say we’re just average people, not workin’ at The Bear, and we’re goin’ on a date.”
“When?” “...When?” “When is the date?” “No, I’m— It’s— This is hypothetical.” “Yeah but in the hypothetical.”
You shrug, clicking tongs together as you grab large chunks of ice for your shaker. “I dunno, Friday nights? We have like a Friday night date night.”
“Oh, so you’re doing good.” Richie hums, proud of this hypothetical you, “Weekly date night is a cornerstone.” 
“Moving on.” You elbow Rich behind you, shaker sloshing in hand, “I’m not a foodie, you are— In this hypothetical. You’re looking around at restaurants in the area for the date, you find The Bear— You find through their website with an improper hyperlink that the menu is,” —You list off on your free hand— “prix fixe, unavailable online, and changes daily so you can’t go off of reviews either. Also, it’s a new place, so you can’t really ask around for opinions.” 
“Right.” Carmen nods, as does Syd. Uncle Jimmy’s got that stupid smirk he gets when he sees his kids fall in line. You pour the ouzo over the ice, focus on the drink, not Carm’s mopey expression. 
“So, we probably wouldn’t go, right?”
Carmen keeps nodding, eyes downcast— Not upset, just can’t take feedback without keeping his head down. “Prob’ly not, yeah.” 
You pound the shaker shut, shaking it lightly in one hand as you try as hard as you can to sweetly explain. “People are open to like, two surprises on an outing. New place, new food— But they will need a set menu and they will need to have it available beforehand— And they’ll need to be able to choose.”
He looks like a cat in the rain, so you add, “But. Maybe we can do a daily special? Or weekly, depending on burnout, but like, y’know, a semi-frequent one new thing. And maybe on like, Valentines or some holidays we do a fresh prix fixe. That’s how some of the best places do it.”
Carmen’s eyes upturn, smiling with them, at that last part. “You do keep a binder.”
“Syd does. I just pay attention.” You shake your head. “She mumbled about it all night when we got back.” 
Adamu is immediately aghast, she should’ve realized ages ago, you were practically quoting her. “You said you couldn’t hear me!”
“No, I said you weren’t bothering me, and you weren’t.” You can’t hide your smile as you break the seal on the shaker. Syd sucks at sharing her ideas, but you’re happy to act as a good mouth for her good brain. “Hand me a lowball.” 
With a grumble, Syd walks off in search of  the lowball; while everyone does seem to agree this is best practice, Carmen does still seem a little sore about it.
“It’d probably also serve us well to do a seasonally rotating menu, right?” And so you throw him a bone. “Like Winter, Spring, Summer, Fall? Base it on what’s in season with local vendors?”
“What grows together goes together.” Tina says, nearly sing-songy. “Farmer’s market is rough though, Jeff.” 
“Fuck a farmer’s market— With love, fuck a farmer’s market.” Back to writing on plexiglass you go. “We gotta do vendors, maybe f’ like, eggs and dairy we can do farmer’s market, but it’s just not feasible. Maybe for holiday pre fixe or daily specials? But full stock, it’s just not— It’s not it. And I say that while having farm fresh eggs and local honey in my pantry, alright?”
Carmen agrees, like a bobble-head this guy. He nods to Tina. “That cool with you, T?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s cool with me.” Tina is a millisecond off to pipe in, which is really not noticeable– To anyone but you, that is.
“Why’s— Why would T not be good with that?”
“She’s in charge of farmer’s market.” 
“Hm.” You bite the end of the dry-erase marker. “T, would you be cool with rotating that, now and again?”
“Ooh?” She tilts her head, shrugging, “Yeah, yeah, kid. If you wanna take the reins.”
“Not me.” You return to scribbling on the glass board. You point at Carmen and Syd through the glass. “Them.” 
“I’ve paid my sous chef dues.” Says Syd, returning to the table with your glass. You tut, shaking your head. You refocus your vision from your writing to beyond the plexiglass, at them. 
“You need it for inspiration! You fuckers keep forgetting you like cooking, I need you to visit the farmer’s market once in a while to remind you.” You take the lowball glass and tong a few ice cubes in. “Non-negotiable. Heard?”
A soft, simultaneous, “Heard, Chef.” from your cats. 
“Good.” You strain the mixed concoction out of the shaker, into the lowball glass. It’s a very pretty peachy pink. You tweezer a slice of dried fig and place it on top. You grab a toothpick, stick it down the glass, pull it out, and taste the toothpick. Balanced, solid flavour, should be good.
You slide the drink over to Syd. “I can’t drink everything obviously, so first dibs goes to whoever the drink is based on— I don’t care who drinks it, just let me know if it goes down smooth.”
You also in turn hand Syd the recipe card and sketch, and you’re quick to move on as she reviews and sips away.
Ouzo. Dry anise tasting spirit. It’s got a licorice aftertaste, but oddly sweeter for it. It’s strong. Resilient. It’s made from remnants of unfermented wine grapes and a mix of other distilled and unused spirits. Better than the sum of its parts. It goes well with figs. Muddle it together with fig marmalade— Sweet yet earthy, spring-like. Orange liqueur to marry the flavours, lemon juice to brighten. Shaken, pour over ice into a lowball, serve with a dried fig on top.
Syd manages to reserve her reaction to a slow but repetitive nod, like entering deep space. She only comes back to reality when Richie reaches for the drink, wanting to try. She’s quick to pull it away from him, coveting the glass. 
“Ah… what else? Rapid fire.” You knock your head around, remembering what The Computer talked about, and in quick succession, you line up every problem and talk through them, possibly solve them— As best as a newbie can. At the very least, you open the floor to actual discussions as you make drinks all the while. 
“Opening a full sixth day I think will shoot us in the long run, especially if we ever get a kitchen plague going. Maybe we just open for half the day on Mondays going forward, try out breakfast? Stop booing me, I’m right.”
Richie’s. Also served over ice in a lowball. It’s similar to a whiskey smash. Nixing the mint. Whiskey bourbon— A good one, but not too good that it’s a sin to mix. Something with a cinnamon spice, that's warm all the way down, but never burns. Water it down a bit by stirring peach juice over the whiskey with ice for a brief moment. Float blueberry syrup on top. Add a toothpick, spearing two blueberries and one peach halve, balance it over the glass, for stirring. So the drinker can mix the blueberry syrup in and have a cute colour changing experience. 
“Wine pours, me and Gary got that. We can also just start charging by the bottle by default— Whatever works.” 
Marcus’. Simple but effective. A rum and coke ice cream float. Made complex by the fact that the ice cream is on a rotating schedule, based on whatever Chef Brooks is feeling that night and what’s in stock. Right now? Pistachio. So tonight it’s actually rum and seltzer, and it will probably continue to be rum and seltzer, based on the way Marcus’ eyes light up by the opportunity to get weird. More often than not, you’re going to need that neutral base. Served in a milkshake glass, because what else?
“I don’t understand why I couldn’t just grow these microgreens myself in house. They’re just plants you murder early, are they not? Am I missing something?”
Tina’s. Varied take on a spiked agua fresca. Fresh blended mango agua fresca— With ginger, of course. A healthy kick is a necessity for a mom drink. Sweetened with simple syrup, spiked with white rum, dash of agave bitters, top with coconut water. Served in a tall glass, because why would you skimp on portions?
“Why are we shipping flowers from New York? No, fuck that, go to Violet’s Violets— I fixed her cooler once, she falls in love and gives a discount to literally anyone who’s nice to her. Just send Marcus with some dessert and you’ll be set for life.”
And of course, Carmen’s aperol spritz. You go with the cherry syrup rim for now because it’s important to try. You’re almost certain it’s too much though.
“Napkins…” You rub your icy cold hands— From shaking up so many goddamn drinks— Over your eyes. “Why are we renting?”
“Buying is insanely overpriced.” Answers Computer. 
You nod, shrug, but nod, fingers tapping the glass, “Well, it’s like renting over owning right? It might be better to own because, y’know, you might suddenly get told by your napkin vendor, like, like years down the line, after basically paying for these napkins in full through rent, ‘hey, actually, we’re gonna jack up prices or just take those napkins back’ even though you’ve —again— Literally had them for years—”
“Chippy, are you good?” Richie tries to massage your shoulder, tries to break you out of the doom spiral, but admittedly, it was never his forte. Still isn’t. 
“We—!” Your voice hangs and is grating in a way it usually isn’t, ignoring the question. “We can produce our own napkins if we buy linens by the yard and hem ‘em ourselves. We—” You snap your fingers a couple times at Carmen, praying he backs you up. “We can even get The Bear monogrammed on them.”
“That sounds nice…” It’s Carmen’s turn to ease you off the ledge of insanity, gently. “It also sounds expensive, were you gonna do that?”
“Fuck no.” You’re quick to shake your head. “I fucking suck at sewing, my own jumpsuit is covered in my blood— No, my—” Oh. “Hold on.”
Your hand immediately goes for your back pocket, quickly pulling your cell-phone out, and dial one of your first starred contacts. Richie, over your shoulder still, sipping his blueberry and bourbon cocktail, excitedly mumbles. “Oh, put it on speaker.”
You’re annoyed before he’s even answered, knowing the headache you’re about to get. “Trust me, the first thirty seconds minimum will not need—”
“Hey!” It’s impossible to convey how earth shatteringly loud and drawn out his voice is, immediately upon answering. There may be eight seconds of the sustained vowel? Maybe more. Almost everyone flinches, par for Syd, Carm, and Rich. Though for all different reasons. 
A touch grating, in the same way your voice just was. Like father, like occasional daughter, you suppose. “Hey kiddo baby darling sweetheart angel princess—” Oh, he’s mad. The whole ‘slew of nicknames when you’re pissed off’ thing? Yeah, that didn’t start with you. “Did someone die? Because that’s the only reason my darling baby only daughter calls anymore!”
You sigh, immediately exhausted, putting your weight on one leg. “Y’know, once a month is honestly a lot of times a year for a fully grown woman to call their dad, on average. I absolutely call you more than my friends call their dads.”
Richie almost chokes and whispers over your shoulder, hesitant, internally preparing for a dreadful future. “Please tell me that’s not true.”
“Oh, and you should be so lucky that you have a dad to call! Cause I bet those friends are calling funeral homes, aren’t they?!”
“Dad—”
“I should have never taught you independence. Worst mistake of my life to teach you how to be your own person. Richard, never teach your kid how to use a screwdriver, it will be the last day you are a father.”
“Noted, Big C-K.” Richie goes for your dry erase to actually write it down, you pull it away from him. That’s gonna require a long talk down later. 
Carmen mouths to you, across the table, he meant to ask earlier when Cicero said it but there wasn’t time. ‘C-K?’
You mouth back, gesturing to the logo on your very own flannel ‘Chicago’s Kindest.’ He’s not the best with acronyms. 
“Oh— And thank you for bringing that up! And what’s this I hear about you cutting your hours with C-K? I hear this from Tony of all people ‘fore I hear it from you?”
“I got a long-term bartender gig that’s actually gonna keep my bills paid, alright? And I like it. Putting that mixology double trade major to good use. Cicero’s got stock in the place, actually.”
“How you doin’ C-K?” Cicero pipes in next to you, waiting for his moment.
“Ah… I’ve got my complaints. For one, my Jack keeps you more company than me!”
There’s a series of hums and haws, that weird uncle secret language of heavy exhales that manage to say more than any actual words they could say. 
You let the heaving run its course for ten seconds before cutting it short with, “Anyways, I’m still gonna keep the business running, just only in the mornings. It’s not like I brought in that much business anyway, I’m not pulling a foundation.”
“Everytime a small business dies, a rich man laughs, Jack!” 
“It’s not dying! It’s alive! It’s present and alive!” Don’t get flashbacks. “Anyways, speaking of small businesses, I need a favour—”
“Ooh, the truth comes out, princess calls cause she needs bail—” 
“For the love of God, let me get through a sentence, Pops!” You grumble, continuing. “Remember that overpriced monogram machine you bought for no reason?”
“It was not for no reason, it was invaluable because it saved my mitts from hand embroidering all those logos— And and— you have to remember—” You mouth the words along with him, mimicking him, because you know exactly what he’s going to say, “that it all starts in your community— And now you have like eight beautiful outfits, cause of me… And also it’s fun.”
“Well… If it’s fun, would you consider making some linen napkins?”
And it flows like ping pong, because your dad is a repairman— Well, former, but still. He’s simple. He handles negotiations simple. So do you.
“For who?” “Restaurant. The Bear.” “Why?” “Cause they need linen napkins.” “How many?”
You look over your shoulder to Richie, he does the math in his head pretty quickly, “Bout seventy to a hundred covers a night.”
“Six hundred.” “Pay?” “We’ll pay supplies, and I’ll give you like—” You look to Syd, expectantly. She has no answer, so you put your advanced on the line. “A thousand?”
“A thousand!? Less than a dollar a napkin! Is this pre-housing crisis?!” “I work here, okay?! Discount me!” “My God, princess, are you in love with the owner or something?”
That world feels like it's choking, but that's probably just you. You blow hot air out of your mouth, looking anywhere but Carmen. Refusing to see him even in your periphery. Refusing to see his blue screened but ever so slightly expectant expression. Well? Are you? …Or something?
After a long moment, you find a way to avoid the question. “Ah–Uh, Syd co-owns the place.”
“Oh, Adamu?!” 
Syd pipes in, leaning over the table. You hold the phone out for her. “H–Hey, Mr. CK.” She waves, despite the fact that it’s a phone call.
“Hey kiddo. Aw, what a sweetheart. Lead with her next time!”
“Alright!” You bring the phone back to your face— It’s remained off speakerphone this entire time, but he continues to yell loud enough for the table. “I didn’t realize you were best friends.”
“Of course we are. Y’know she brought me this uh– this salmon mushroom risotto the other night? Unbelievable.”
You squint at Adamu curiously, whispering. “You bring my dad food?”
She whispers in return, defensive. “He lives on my block, don’t be weird.”
“For her, I’ll do it for eight-hundred, okay kiddo? I know how tough it is to start up a business, can’t imagine trying to move on top of that.”
Your turn to blue screen. Moving? You’re immediately over the love thing. “...Pardon?”
“...I’ll do it for eight—”
“No– Yes, sorry, yes dad that’s great—” You arch the phone away from your face, focusing your attention on Syd. “Syd, you’re moving out?”
She sighs, “Trying to.”
“Pops.” You straighten up, not looking away from her. “I’ll call you back to sort details later, okay?”
“Sure. You also need to let me know holiday plans, are we going up to Oak Park or—”
Somewhat disrespectfully, you speak hurriedly, “Yeah, we’ll figure it out, love you, bye!” and hang up. Still locked on Syd, you ask. “When you tryna move?”
“Like, soon as possible.” She stretches out her shoulders. “My own dad is sort of… Encroaching on my space.” 
“Right.” Your eyes flicker with too many ideas, and you’re trying to temper expectations. “You wanna live by yourself?”
“I mean, I don’t really know anyone on the same timeline as me, with the same ‘low budget’ as me.”
The Computer attempts to interrupt the interruption of his review, holding a finger up, “And why are we talking about—”
But you hold the palm of your hand up, continuing on, “I need to move out asap and have a ‘low budget’.”
That’s Carmen’s queue to chime in, he loves your place. “What happened?” 
Also Richie’s, “What? Chip, your spot’s like a historical site, ya can’t move.” and this is generally agreed upon by a sea of dismayed voices.
“To make an extremely long story short, I don’t have a choice.” You wave your hand in the air, silencing murmurs. “My sweet old lady landlord— The only landlord I’ve ever respected, got bought out by a fuckin’ big business gentrification ass company— I’m not in a rent controlled zone so they’re gonna keep jacking the rent until I move out so they can tear it down and build a new spot— They also may or may not have found out that me and Loretta— My landlord— Haven’t exactly been keeping up to date on my lease.”
“Meaning?” Carmen knows the answer will be bad. 
But it’s somehow worse. “Meaning I pay my rent on time in cash and she texts me once a year saying ‘do you want to keep living here?’ and I say ‘yes’, and we continue on.”
“Well, hold up—” Richie holds a hand up, like he’s a genius. “Squatter’s rights?”
“I thought about going that avenue, but—” You gesture to Syd. “If you’re already moving, and looking for a roommate?”
She looks up and around, thinking about it. You decide to join her in the brainstorm, scooching yourself just an inch to the right, writing on free space on the plexiglass screen, ‘pros and cons’
“Pro.” You murmur as you write. “I have a better credit score than you.”
Syd sputters, half sarcastic. “Well, that’s just uncalled for.”
“It’ll give you more options for places! Better ones! Ones with in-unit laundry!” You defend.
“In-unit laundry…” “Your eyes just lit up in such a sad way.” “Con. You are an ass.”
“That’s a pro. A real con would be that I have a lot of plants and if I ever go on vacation I’m gonna need you to take care of them, and I’m not gonna have a binder for you, because I water them based on vibes, and if I come back and they’re dying I’m gonna be pissed off and very passive aggressive about it.”
“Violently honest.” “Pro. Mostly direct. Aside from when I’m not.” “Con. I’m not direct.”
“Con. That’s fine but if I get the idea that you’re mad at me I’m gonna act really weird about it until you reassure me that everything is okay and you don’t want to throw me out the window.”
“Yeah. Con. Same.”
“Pro. I’ve lived by myself for a while, which is good to have when you’re moving out of your parents for the first time. Con. I’ve lived by myself for a while, and I’m very used to the lifestyle of big t-shirt no pants, I’m not giving that up.”
Now that one takes Syd a second to unpack, “But, but like, underwear though, right—?”
“No shit I wear underwear!”
“Okay! It’s important to note!”
“Don’t be weird.” Richie grumbles behind you, solidly directed at Carmen.
Who’s whole face really just scrunches up in confusion. “‘Don’t be weird’? You don’t be weird.”
“I’m not bein’ fuckin’ weird—” “Then why are you up in my shit—” “Up in your shit? Oh wow—” “Fully not what I was referencing—” “Don’t be weird, cousin!” “I literally— I did not even move— Not a single cell in my body—” “And— And you only know that ‘cause you had to lock it down, you dog—”
“I don’t remember having kids, why the fuck am I in a Kindergarden?” Uncle Jimmy interrupts.
“I’m just takin’ care of my boy, Unc.” Richie raises a hand in defense, feigning innocence. “Can’t be too careful.”
“You super can, and you super are.” You grimace, elbowing him again. “And also, not important–!”
“Actually, no, very important.” Syd of all people interrupts. “Non-negotiable, like you can’t— …Like you— …When I’m home it’s like— Don’t—” Ah.
You roll your eyes and save her before she just about breaks out in a feverish sweat. “Syd, I wasn’t planning on it. That’s like roommate rule one.”
“Syd.” Richie points to his own eyes, then to hers, ‘watching you’. “Don’t be weird.”
“What the fuck—”
“Everyone shut up, pros and cons—!” You shout, gaining the attention back. “Pros. I have a car, we work at the same place, I have all the furniture for a living room already,  you'd never have to wait for a landlord to fix something ever again, and I could probably do a bunch of D-I-Y renter friendly projects, if you wanted.”
“...Oh my god, a French-door pantry.” “I think I could swing that.” “Pros. You’ll never have to cook again. I guess that’s my only pro, actually.”
“Con. I have been feeding the cat on my fire escape for like a year and if I’m moving I am going to have to adopt her, so we’re gonna have a cat. She’s cute, she has five toes on each paw. Something dactyl, it’s called.”
“What’s her name?” Squid’s not excited per se, but she’s not saying no. 
You shrug. “I never named her, let’s name her together.”
“No, that’s too much pressure—” “No, you’ll do great—” “What do you mean I’ll do great—?” “Three–” “Oh like together together? No! What—?!” “Shut up, just do it, head empty, two—” “No! I’m just not gonna say any—” “Yes you will, Squid. One!”
And together, perfectly in sync, like it was planned all along, you both say on queue, “Calamari!”
“There we go.” You write ‘Calamari’ on the plexiglass. “That’s my girl— That’s our girl, actually. I’m still not sure if she’s a girl.”
You click your tongue against your teeth, knocking your head back and forth in thought as you look at the scribblings on the glass. “Non-negotiables?”
Syd leans forward on the table, chin propped up in her hands. “I need forty-five minutes of bathroom time at the beginning of the day.”
“...Do you have a fuckin’ lactose intolerance?” “It’s my me time!” “Alright! Fuckin’ fifty minutes of toilet time for Syd. Ah, I need east facing windows… and uhm…”
Syd stares at you, and alas, she can tell, “You have a big non-negotiable…”
“It’s not that big… It’s more a group thing than a roommate thing, really…” “What is it?” “I think… It would be fun… If we all started playing Dungeons and Drag—” 
There’s an immediate, staggeringly loud array of groans, you’re still writing it down nonetheless, all the while defending, “I honestly think a little roleplay and math would fix you assholes! I really think it would! I’ll D-M, I’ll make it so easy— Please?”
Syd grimaces, but inevitably nods. “Y’know what, you’re never gonna get a concrete schedule for that down, and no one else is gonna agree so yes, sure from me.” Still a win. 
“Okay.” You hum, capping the marker. “So… Aim to move first of February? You down?”
It takes some time, and you realize as Syd’s brain frozen, that you might be overstepping. “Sorry, that’s going too fast, you think on it—”
“...I’m down.” You make it very easy for her to say yes, by giving her the option to say no. “Yeah, let’s do it. February. I’m down.”
“I’m so happy for you two, but I’m still fuckin’ reeling— Chippy, it’s– it’s— So many memories—” Richie’s being overly dramatic on purpose, hand on your shoulder, really laying on the vocal fry in his voice; but it is true. “I mean, come on, first time I’d ever been stabbed was on your block.”
“Sorry, what?” Carmen was having fun watching his two favourite employees figure out they’d be perfect roommates. He loves to be a fly on walls around you more than he’d like to admit. Richie managed to ruin it with one line. “Stabbed on your block?”
“Yeah,” You suck the air between your teeth, trying to think of some sort of white lie, but slowly shake your head, “I— Yeah, there’s no real way for me to down play it, I was so fuckin’ scared.”
“You were tweaking!” Richie laughs, clapping his hand against your shoulder, to him it’s a charming story— You’d probably be laughing too, if Carmen didn’t seem so… unpleased, let’s say. “You fuckin’ thought I was gonna die!”
“You fucking were!” You slap Rich’s hand away. “It was so close to a cerebral artery— First and last time I’ll administer stitches in my fucking kitchen, hand to God—”
“What’s the story?” Oh, new face from Carmen you haven’t seen before, bewildered annoyance, you’d describe it as, it’s going in your bottom five. “You live in a bad neighbourhood?”
“It’s rustic—” You try, but Richie opts to speak on your behalf. “Oh, Chip lives in a terrible neighbourhood, Cousin. You’ve been there, haven’t you?”
“Yeah but it didn’t seem that bad— No— Hold on, go back, stabbed why?”
“So I heroically defended a boy from crooked—” Richie tries, but you opt to speak on his behalf. “Richie was helping me bring up groceries, we saw some highschoolers shaking a kid down, Richie tried to break it up, one of ‘em stabbed him with one of those shitty switchblade comb things.”
“You got stabbed by a kid?” Syd snorts, but immediately regrets it because she has perfectly set him up for—
“Yeah, and wouldn’t be the last time, would it?”
“Richie, c’mon…” You reach up, patting the guy’s shoulder. “It was an accident and she apologized—”
Richie just raises his eyebrows, interrupting with a simple, “Mm-mm.” 
And so yours raise in tow, “...Fuck you mean ‘mm-mm’?” And your head turns to Syd, alarmed. “Syd, you apologized, right?”
Her mouth just sort of hangs, sputtering noises do come out of it, but nothing that strings a sentence together. You grow more agog, repeating again, astonished, nearly laughing from the shock, “Syd?! You apologized, right?! And told him it was an accident, right?”
Syd takes a beat, but she gets there. “I— I. Am. Sorry I stabbed you by accident, Richie.”
“Hm.” Richie crosses his arms, considering, mostly sarcastically. “Yeah, I’ll take it, I guess. Would’ve liked a card.”
“I am not getting you a card.” “I’m jus’ sayin’ I’d’ve liked one.”
Carmen’s still five steps behind, “Are you gonna be fine living there? In January?”
You choke back a laugh, because this is how men try to show they care, one must imagine. “I’ve been fine for the past handful of years living there, I think I’ll be fine for another month, sweetheart.”
“Crime is bad in January.”
“I was a first responder, and I know that’s not true.” You shake your head, shirking off laughter. “It’s actually in the summer that you see shit go down. Again, I will be fine. But you are free to visit.”
“Point of order.” The Computer finally pipes up again— Might’ve forgot he was here, if you’re honest. “What are we talking about anymore?”
“Point of order— I feel like numbers— Talking numbers is great but it’s all just like— Paper, y’know?” You unlatch the plexiglass, gently settling it back down on the table. “We should be talking more.”
Tina nearly whistles in agreement, nodding by your side. “Heavy that, Jeff.”
“That’s what I’m sayin’, like—” You snap your fingers to the rest of the crew, hand moving to and fro to point at everyone, “Did y’all know until right now that Syd was moving? …No, right? Let’s like— Fuckin’ remember to check in, like y’know, family, Chefs.”
And without calling her out, you can feel Tina’s demeanor next to you change, relaxed. 
“Heard, Chef.” Is the agreement from the crew, however, The Computer nor Cicero seem convinced, so with a sigh, you put on your most authoritative voice.
 “Y’know. Three Cs! Caring cuts costs!” A phrase no one has ever said, but it sounds legitimate when you put it like that. That gets them to acquiesce. 
Thank God, Marcus helps you move the conversation along, “...What’s everyone doing for the holidays?” Alas for both of you, the silence is deafening. “...Or not.”
You volley back for him, “If no one has hard plans I was thinking of having a lil’ Holiday party? Nothing big. Sort of a ‘goodbye old apartment’ party? Come by after you hang out with your families or whatever?”
“Not gonna go up to Oak Park?” Rich leans one arm on your shoulder, nursing his whiskey cocktail in the other. 
“Meh.” You shrug, attempting to push him off you, but he doubles down. “We’re not so intense about holidays since everyone’s aged. I’ll visit my nephew on New Years.” 
“I’m doin’ Eve with Eva, but I’ll be free on the day. I’ll come by. We doin’ gifts?”
“I mean I got you something, so,” You tap the bottom of his glass as Rich takes another sip, making him flinch. “Catch the fuck up.” 
Syd pipes in, sniffing. “Me and my dad only celebrate on Christmas Eve now, so I’ll come.”
“Incredible. Two down.” You gesture to Marcus and Tina across the table. “You guys? Tina I assume you’ve got a loving family and shit?”
Tina smiles and nods, rightfully proud. “I do have a loving family and shit, but maybe I’ll come by late with them too?”
And Marcus tacks on with her, “I’m gonna be with my mom most of the night, but I’ll come through for a couple hours.”
“Perfect, perfect. Invites open to any plus ones as long as you text me first!” You hum, writing names down on the glass board. It’s kind of a nightmare of different lists at this point. “Richie, can you make sure Fak and Sweeps get the invite?”
“Yessir.”
“And us!?” Shrieks Cheech in the back, who really shouldn’t be able to hear you, he should be in the zone, slinging sandwiches.
You yell back without turning to him. “Yes, fucker, you and E can come, if you want! No fuckin’ plus one for you though!”
“Oh come the fuck on, Jack-Off!”
“Oh, make me a fuckin’ sandwich, big man!”
“Oh, I’ll make you a fuckin’ sandwich!”
“Oh, my dick!” A response that makes no sense, consistently the perfect bookend. You sigh, and finally, your eyes flit to the most terrified two in the room. “Berzattos… Holiday plans?”
“I think we’re gonna do dinner on Christmas Eve, and then the morning together? Well, I am.” Sug hesitates, she’s looking between Uncle Jimmy and Carmen. “I was gonna ask what Carm’s plan is…”
“I’ll go. I’ll go.” Carmen has to stop himself from biting the skin off the tips of his fingers. “I’ll go. And I’ll come to the party, after.” 
“I’ll probably just go home with Pete after. Baby’s first Christmas, y’know.” Natalie hums and nods awkwardly. There’s a question both of them want to ask. Neither of them are brave enough to ask it. And while you can sense there’s something dancing in the air, you’re not going to overstep on this front. 
“Mazel. I can buy silly decor with reason now. …Now let’s talk about the important grievances.” You hum, happy to end that chapter.
You turn just slightly to gently slap Richie’s cheek as he stands next to you. “Rich, you need to line your beard up, this neckbeard shit is pissing me off—”
“What’s with the fuckin’ drive by?!” “It’s been on my mind forever— You can’t be wearin’ suits and then be rockin’ that unkempt shit, clean up—” “I’m clean! I’m fucking clean!” “Who said? Who fuckin’ said? Cause I sure didn’t!” “How’m I s’posed to be linin’ my shit up every mornin’—” “You do not grow a beard that fast—” “Oh fuck you, I’m not fuckin’ Carmen, I grow a fuckin’ beard.”
Carmen’s just surprised to hear his name out of any name come up. “What– Now that’s a fucking drive by, what the fuck?” 
“If we’re voicing grievances, I’d like to voice my fuckin’ complaint with Captain Crash-Out over here—” “Who the fuck is sublimating now?” “You’re not usin’ that term correctly, cause you’re not integrated—” “I thought you two worked this out on the road trip!” “We did!”
You only half regret starting this feud with the beard comment— To be fair, you’re right. “This is it working?” 
“This is, in fact, it working.” Syd confirms plainly, her disappointment more than apparent. Rubbing the tips of her fingers to her temples. The fight is out of her, at this point. 
“Alright.” You slap your hands together. “Richie, what is your complaint?” Are you just union rep now? You might be a union rep now. 
“Carmen is fucking killing me.” The cocktail swishes and nearly spills as Richie points at the Chef, emphatic. “He won’t change shit for guests!”
“No substitutions!” It’s almost cultish, the way Sydney and Carmen yell it out together. 
Richie scoffs, head reeling back. “What happened to it bein’ about hospitality?” 
“I mean…” You suck air through your teeth, squinting. “If we’re sayin’ no substitutions, it’s no substitutions— Unless it’s like an allergy or sensory thing— But even then, it shouldn’t be like a major component getting replaced.”
“See? See?” It’s almost maniacal, rabid, how delighted Carmen is that you’re on his side. “Fuckin’ thank you. This is why I lo—” 
Before Carmen can finish his sentence, Richie flails about to suddenly throw the peach and blueberry skewer from his drink at Carmen— Not the pointed side, he doesn’t want to stab the guy. Just wants to save him from running his mouth. The peach slice hits Carm’s chest as Richie stutters out, “F-Fuck you, fuck you, fine. No substitutions— What the fuck am I supposed to say then?” speaking over whatever syllables fell out of Carmen’s mouth, muddling them. 
You cock your brow, but Carmen seems to quickly let the childish toss go, more than eager to move on. So you do too. “...Say some bullshit like, like, The Bear encourages —uhm— explorative culinary experiences where you let your taste buds go beyond your limitations and comforts— So eat a fuckin’ mushroom, you’re not gonna die.”
“If they don’t like mushrooms—” “Then they shouldn’t order it!” “How hard is it to just fuckin’ switch it out!?” “So hard! So hard! I think! I could guess!”
“I could do it.”
“Could you?” You cross your arms, leaning your weight onto one leg, pivoting to Richie. “Okay, roleplay, you’re Carmen, I’m you—” Just as Richie opens his mouth, you hold your index finger to his lips. “I know you wanna be a bitch, I’m askin’ you to just skip that part for me.”
His shit eating grin is only a little endearing. “How am I supposed to be in character if I’m not allowed to be a bitch?”
You clench and unclench your hands in the air, but let it go, opting to move on to your little thought experiment. “Chef, patient—” Instincts never give out, huh? “Christ, patron doesn’t want mushrooms in their anolini, I need you to sub it.”
“Ah, well I’m happy to do that for you, Host Richie, I—” He’s going to go into some scathing spiel, and you love the guy, but you have to rub dirt in the wound for the lesson to stick. 
You speak over him, voice stern, “Chef. In order to keep pace, I need you to make this call in fifteen seconds, what are you subbing it for?”
Richie’s head shakes back and forth as he scrambles to get his brain to work.“Fuckin— Fucking– Eggplant.” 
“Eggplant?” You ask politely, tone unsure. Carmen asks it with you, tone ridiculing. 
“It’s a sauce isn’t it?” You squint, turning your head to the actual Carmen. “It’s like a really thick mushroom sauce stuffed pasta?”
He tilts his head from side to side, but nods. In gist, yes. “It’s a ragout. Low and slow cooked stew—” Carmy’s ready to rave about it and teach you every facet of the dish, but perhaps that’s too romantic for a public setting. God, he’s weird about love. “We keep it going on our back burners all day— It takes an hour minimum to make from scratch, you can’t just sub it.” 
“Yeah, well…” Richie stops himself short of getting snarky for no reason all over again, taking a second to think about it. “Well, I didn’t know that. You didn’t explain that shit to me.”
“I don’t have time to hold your fuckin’ hand—” Carmen stops short of getting catty when you give him a very soft and yet gutting disappointed look. He pinches the bridge of his nose, sniffing. “I can’t explain why I do everythin’ I do when I’m— When we’re in a middle of a rush, I just need you to trust when kitchen says we can’t do it. Trust that I thought it through.”
Richie has to control himself, has to make sure the corners of his mouth don’t upturn just slightly, has to make sure it’s not clear that he is overjoyed that there’s finally middle ground, can’t get his hopes up. He nods. “I just wanna make everyone happy, y’know?”
“I know. You’re—” Carmen’s nose scrunches up for a second, God, he’s never had to say that he think’s Richie’s good to his face. And he’s not gonna start now, “Eggplant would be a good sub, if we had time.”
Richie prods his tongue along the side of his cheek, thinking. “Maybe I could look into knowin’ restrictions faster and estimatin’ their orders, so you can have ‘em on deck?”
And Carmen does think that’d be a waste of time, but he’s learning. He hears it out. “Could give it a shot, yeah.”
“Same team.” Richie reaches across the counter, and Carmen actually takes his hand, a quick dap. Civil.
“Same team.” First time you’ve heard Carmen adopt your idiom; you can’t help but smile, though you’re trying to hide it. You’re too focused on arguably the two most important men in your life to notice the silent conversation Uncle Jimmy is having with The Computer, speaking solely through nods and exchanged glances. 
Pay is for Chip. Cicero nods, and The Computer nods back. He gets it now. Pay is for Chip. Not just the mixologist, not just the sommelier, not just the repairman, not just the not-quite girlfriend, Chip. You’re Chip. You’re the cog, the piece. The grease between everyone. 
You’re the guy. Always have been, always will be. 
The silent conversation and the warm feeling in the room is cut short though, by The Computer. “Can she deal with the butter thing?”
“What the fuck is the butter thing?” You immediately jump onto the case, when Carmen looks down and away from you, you frown, leaning in. “What’s the butter thing?”
Jimmy snaps his fingers at The Computer, he hands him an invoice, which is then handed off to you. Old Major Farms, Orwellian Butter, salted and unsalted. $11,268. You just. Stare. The math comes all too easy to your head. Worth a week? 
“It’s the best.” Carmen repeats as your eyes remain worryingly unblinking. “It’s—”
“Carm.” Syd all but hisses, shaking her head in tight swivels, waving her hand around her neck for him to cut it. “Making it worse.”
“Angel is like, the worst it can get.” Hums Richie. Recalling your barometer of anger. Recalling the times when Mikey would say ‘what’s the point of paying bills?’ And you’d have to pull him aside. “Can’t get much lower than that besides—”
“Light of my life.” You look up from the paper in your hand, and both Richie and Sydney wince. Your voice is terrifyingly delicate as you nod over to the room behind you. “Apple of my eye. Can I speak to you in your office, please?”
Carmy’d like to say no. “...Yeah.” But you already started walking before he even answered, so there’s not much of a choice here. You head in by yourself, and thankfully, the door closes behind you, so Carmen’s got a second before he gets devoured. 
He walks around the counter, and as he nears the door, Richie grabs his arm. He whispers as he hands Carmen what’s left of his cocktail. “You need to lock the fuck in.”
“I know.” Carm returns, shooting down all that’s left of the lowball. Why’s Richie’s the sweet one? Why’d Carmen get the cough syrup drink? That’s not fair. Do you not think he’s sweet? “Thank you for the— Intercept.” 
Richie nods, he’s been unwillingly playing quarterback for Carmen since going to Rockefeller and seeing that goddamn giant tree and Carmen couldn’t stop opening his big fucking mouth after seeing you under the star. “Just think with your brain, not your—”
“Don’t.” “Was gonna say heart.” “Sure.” “Don’t be weird.”
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“I know it’s expensive.” Carmen gets it out before even fully closing the door behind him, “But it’s normal prices, for high-end restaurants. I know it’s different—” He stops short when he finally turns around from the closed door, to see you, holding your painting. 
It’s facing you, you’re reviewing it in your hands where you sit in the office chair; the brown wrapping paper freshly ripped and on the floor. Carmen still doesn’t know what’s on the piece. 
“Carm.” You twist the piece around in your hand, turning it to him. He can see the nine squares. The Beef to The Bear. Mikey. “This is not another restaurant.”
Carmen continues to stare, silently, though he takes a step closer, reaching a hand out to graze over the canvas. You keep going, clarifying. “We’re not just another high-end restaurant. We’re us. And so we should be doing things like us. We’re the best, we don’t need the stuff to be.”
He was with you until that last part. His pursed lips say as much.
“It’s—” You smack your lips together, haphazardly handing him the canvas, he’s very quick to grab it with both hands, not wanting it unstable for a second. “Hold on, let me show you somethin’ — I think I left one in here.”
You roll the office chair back a bit, sinking down in the seat to reach far behind a tall cabinet; you have to pad your hand around in the dark nook for quite some time before you pull out— A screwdriver. An oddly shaped one, at that.
“...Has that been here the whole time?”
You nod. “Like threeish years at least, I think I threw it back there while telling it’s origin story. It’s part of the first set I ever got.” You grip the flat wooden handle. “It’s the worst screwdriver on earth, like, by far.” 
That gets a little chuckle out of Carmen. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” You look up from it to him. “It’s a handmade set. Dad’s dad made it.” You awkwardly roll closer to him, he leans over, head next to your head as you both look down at it. “It’s got a flat wooden handle, made of poplar— So not only is it fucking impossible to get a good grip on, it’s also so fucking slippery. It’s part of a whole set, passed down from my grandpa to my dad to me.”
“Sounds fucked.”
“It is.” You laugh, and so does he. “It’s purposefully meant to piss you off.” You rub your thumb over the dent marks in the wood— All from the times you threw it at something— Including the very cabinet that it hid behind. “You ever wonder why I took over the handyman gig, bein’ the youngest and all?”
Carmy shrugs, glancing from the screwdriver to you. “Just assumed you were the best.”
That gets another laugh out of you, and Carmen’s overjoyed by the sound. “Yeah, I’m probably the best. But that’s only cause I kept up with it.”
You turn your head up to face Carmen again as you explain, “When our dad started bringing us to jobs as kids, he would make us exclusively use this set of screwdrivers— Sort of as a secret test. My brothers would get pissed off, as planned, and they’d quit and cry. And I dunno, I guess I’d cry and keep going? And I learned a couple tricks, eventually.”
“Tricks?”
“Like.” You pull back in the chair and run your hand across the office desk. The corners of it are screwed into the metal cabinet below it. “It’s really good if you’re screwing from the top down.” Using it as an example, you start to unscrew it. “It’s balanced. And it’s really all in the grip— Always loosen your grip with this one. Even if that seems counterintuitive.”
You get it to unscrew just fine with your loosened grip. “But if that doesn’t work, and you just can’t get it to work—” You lift the screwdriver in front of his face, showing off the sides of the handle. He smirks at the— “Just make your own grooves, it’ll be easier to hold.” Tiny teeth marks. 
“Carm.” You tap the handle to his nose as he zones in too much on it. “I’m the best repairman because I can work with anything. You’re the best Chef because you can work with anything. You don’t need the best when you’re the best.”
He’s the best? 
He’s the best. 
He’s the best. 
“I truly think you could make just as good a plate with Becel as this fucking Animal Farm butter.” 
Carmen’s the best. You think he’s the best. 
He’s gotta think with his head and not with his heart and not with anything else, either. Lock the fuck in, Carmen.
“I dunno bout all that.” He shrugs, bashful and attempting to hide it, trying to shake the praise off his back. 
“Well I know ‘bout that.” You shrug back, “I’m actually kind of a genius, when it comes to knowing who’s good and who’s not.”
“I don’t doubt that.” Carmy hums, and the sound is sweet without reservations. “...Painting is very good.” He nods to himself, on repeat, like a bobblehead. “Or I guess it’s less a painting and more a buncha photo transfers?”
“Yeah.” You set the screwdriver aside on the desk. “Most of them I took.”
“They’re good. It’s—” He pauses, tongue against his teeth. “It’s nice to see evidence he kept up, or somethin’.”
You nod, seeing Carmen’s brain struggle to keep pace in real time. “We took that one I think the day we talked to Uncle Jimmy about The Bear? Had to print out articles as proof we could make it work— Or, that you could make it work, rather.”
Carmen sniffs, crossing his arms, hands in tight fists— Probably too tight— where they hide. “Yeah, kinda fuckin’ up my end of the bargain, hm?” The light laugh that follows is hollow.
“Eh. You both did.” You smile, though it’s hesitant. “ But at least you’re still here fixing it.”
Still here. Still fixing it. That is in essence, the piece. Carmen gets lost staring at the squares, so you speak as he does. “I was trying to like. I dunno, replicate your brain.” He can see it. The messy yet coherent, controlled yet chaos. The love. The grief. The progress. The home. You see him. He can see that you see him. 
“11k for butter,” Carm’s head doesn’t move but his eyes raise to you. “Is a week. More than a week.”
Ah. Carmen can see you too, see your thought process. The Ascaso, worth one of the worst weeks of Mikey’s life. The fucking butter. Worth more than a week of Mikey’s sobriety. 
All you can do is nod solemnly. “It is, yeah.” 
He nods back, tongue prodding his cheek. “That’s too much.”
“I’d agree.”
“I’ll switch to local.” You make it easy for him to fix his mistakes, by giving him the space to realize them. 
“I think that’s the right call.” You nod, smiling. After a moment, you reach for Carmen to uncross his arms, and when he does, you take his fist and uncurl it— Your hand is a very soothing balm to the spots where he dug his nails into his own hand.
“Loosen your grip, Carmy.”
And so, he does. With a laugh and a look to high heaven, he loosens his grip. Really loosens his grip. Well— Not completely, he’s not going to say that, but he will say something that is just nearly as difficult but not quite. He'll bite down a little. He’ll make the grooves, for now, until his grip is good enough.
“Come to dinner with us?”
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would you believe me if i said I had to rewrite a bit of this last scene because intially it went so rom-com and I was so disgusted when I reread it in the morning I had to stare at it in the subway ride to work like "what the fuck am I gonna do"
was this chapter good? God I hope so. I felt like with where we're going, it was kinda necessary to do Chip's onboard, set the stage for what work is like for her. I had to loosen my own grip with this one lmao. just allow myself to be a LITTLE messy. if it's bad, lie to me. tell me sweet little lies peach
DAD REVEAL THOUGH EH? MR CK!!! So much did happen this chapter. Chips on board! Squid Ink moving in together era commences! Christmas party!! Also. Would you believe me if I told you no shit syd was gonna move, she was planning it in S2, but I was planning this whole time for Ink to get evicted!! I want those fuckers to be roommates STAT!!!
anyways, i really hope i remembered to write down everyone that asked to be added to the taglist, i might've not. i'm very sorry if i didnt
oh also if you wanna be added!! send in your thoughts!! words for words baby, essay for essay cmonnn gimme ur character analysis!! (oh and also ask to be added, ofc)
@hoetel-manager , @fridavacado @sharkluver , @spectacular-skywalker , @silas-aeiou , @deadofnight0 , @sunbreathingstuff , @anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @blueaproncarmy @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101 @popcornpoppin @renaissance-painting @lostinwonderland314 @v0ctin @ashtonweon @mrs-perfectly-fine @thefreakingbear @anytim3youwant
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alessiasfreckles · 7 months
Text
amnesia - part 2 (ona batlle x reader)
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You're released from hospital in the hopes that returning home will help some of your memories return. Part 1 here!
warnings: angst, hospitals, memory loss
a/n: sorry to everyone who just wanted a happy ending... you're not getting it just yet x
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You stayed in the hospital for a week after waking up. Every day, Ona and Alexia would be there. Sometimes other teammates would join - teammates whose names and faces you couldn’t recall, but when you’d hear their voice you suddenly remembered their favourite food, without knowing who they were. 
Things like that gave Ona hope. Hope that you would remember your life together before the accident.
Every day she arrived with bright eyes, eager to see if you remembered anything, remembered her, but every day you greeted her with a friendly but somewhat vacant smile, like you weren’t sure what to make of her yet. And you weren’t. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, that there was something she wasn’t telling you. She seemed way too concerned about you to just be your best friend, but why would she lie?
Alexia asked her the same thing.
“You should tell her the truth,” the captain said, arms folded. “It’s not fair to her.”
“I don’t want to overwhelm her,” Ona protested. Part of her was hoping desperately that you would remember her, that she wouldn’t have to tell you, that your relationship was important enough to break through the amnesia clouding your mind. 
She was also desperately hoping she wouldn’t have to tell you that she was the reason you had been in the accident at all.
“I think you should tell her.” 
“Yes, I’ve understood that, thank you,” Ona snapped, and left Alexia standing outside your room without a second glance.
Alexia sighed. She didn’t want to overstep. It was something she’d been careful about since you arrived in Barcelona. She’d been quick to push down any feelings she had towards you, reminding herself time and time again that she couldn’t act on them, it wasn’t right, she was your captain. And when you and Ona started dating a little over 6 months ago, well, she was even more determined to squash any feelings she had for you. 
Fixing her face into a smile, she walked into your room. Ona barely glanced at her as she came in, focused on you.
“Did you remember anything new?” Ona asked you.
“Not really, no,” you said, shaking your head. “Some stuff about my parents.”
“Ah,” she winced. You didn’t have a big family, you were an only child, so it was just you and your parents. You didn’t have a good relationship with them, you never had. They didn’t care about your football, and there were countless times that you’d been driven to and from training by your friends’ parents, or even by your coaches. It made sense that they hadn’t bothered coming to Barcelona after your accident. 
“Yeah,” you shrugged. 
“What about football?” Alexia asked. Talking about football seemed to help, and it at least made you smile. 
“I remember more about playing!” you said, sitting up excitedly. “I remember being on the pitch, how it feels to kick the ball. I miss it.”
All three of you looked at your right leg. It had been operated on when you were still in a coma, but the doctors had put a cast on it for the time being, and you had strict orders not to put any weight on it for at least 2 weeks. It wasn’t just your leg that was the problem - being in a coma for 15 days had made your body weak, weaker than you would have thought. Playing football was out of the question, at least for the foreseeable future.
“Oh, they said I can go home on Friday, by the way,” you told them. “They said something about memories coming back, I think? The doctor couldn’t think of the word in English, but I think she was saying that there’s a good chance a lot of my memories will come back when I’m in a familiar environment. But if that doesn’t happen it’s okay too.”
“Excelente!” Alexia beamed. “We will be here to pick you up.”
You were trying not to get your hopes up too much, but you really, really hoped that going home would help bring back some of your memories. You didn’t even know what ‘home’ was, what it looked like, where it was. The girls had shown you some pictures, also hoping to trigger some locked away memory, but none of it helped. Nothing felt familiar. 
On Friday, Alexia and Ona spoke to the doctor in rapid Spanish. You’d been told that you had been learning it before the accident, that you’d started when you moved to Barcelona over a year and a half ago, but now you couldn’t remember any of it.
As they wheeled you out of the hospital, crutches on your lap, Ona explained what the doctor had said.
“For now you have to rest, and next Friday you have an appointment to take the cast off. After that you’ll have physiotherapy four times a week, and occupational therapy twice a week. The hospital also recommended you see a psychiatrist to deal with the trauma of the accident and losing your memories,” she said with a slight wince. 
You nodded. “That makes sense.” 
The drive home was quiet. You spent it looking out of the window, feeling as though you were seeing everything for the first time, but also with a strange sense of déjà vu. You didn’t like the combination. It felt wrong. 
When the car approached an apartment building and slowed to a halt, you expected some kind of familiarity, for your memories to come flooding back, but nothing happened. The building was unremarkable, nothing about it said ‘home’ to you. 
The two women watched your reaction, first hopefully, then subdued as they realised you didn’t recognise it. 
“Come on,” Alexia said, opening the car door. “Let’s go inside. Maybe that’ll be better.”
You studied your apartment door for a moment before unlocking it, waiting to see if it triggered anything. When nothing happened, you pushed the door open, taking a deep breath. The hallway of your apartment was light and airy, tidier than you’d been expecting, for some reason. 
“Am I usually this tidy?” you asked, turning to look at Ona. 
She snorted. “No, not really. But you don’t spend that much time here, you’re usually at m- um, at training, or at somebody’s house.”
A crease formed between her eyebrows as she frowned slightly, but it vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared. You hobbled inside, taking in the pictures and trinkets on the walls of the living room. There was a corkboard full of photos and memorabilia, and next to it was a framed jersey with your name on it. 
“I remember that!” you exclaimed, your mind flooded with images and emotions. “That’s from my first international game! That’s when I made my debut! I remember walking onto the pitch and feeling so proud, and so nervous, and so, so excited.”
Alexia and Ona grinned in unison at your outburst, elated that you’d remembered something else and that being home amongst your things was working, at least a little.
You leant in closer to look at the corkboard, taking in all of the pictures. There was one of the whole Barcelona team, a couple selfies you’d taken with some of your teammates, photos of a group of you on a boat somewhere. There were some photos of you and Alexia, and some of you, Alexia and Ona. And there were a lot of pictures of just you and Ona. In fact, around half of them were of you and Ona - selfies, pictures other people had taken of you, pictures of just Ona where you had the distinct feeling that you’d taken them, though you didn’t know why. 
Examining them closer, you realised that in a lot of them, the two of you were close, closer than you’d been expecting of someone who was just your best friend. Pictures of the two of you cuddled into each other, your head buried in her neck, pictures where her hand was on your thigh or your arm was wrapped tightly around her waist.
Pictures of the two of you kissing.
“What are these pictures?” you asked, turning to look at Ona. Her eyes were wide, lips parted, and you pushed down the sudden urge to kiss her. “Ona? What’s going on?”
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Part 3 here x
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