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romanarose · 3 months

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Scars

Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x pale!fem!reader (see immersivity warnings)

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Summary: You and Joel are taking things slow, really slow. You find that he's easy to open up to about your depression, but you find it's hard to tell him the full extent.

Warnings: Talk of depression and self harm, self harm scars, descriptions of said scars (healed, not bleeding or recent) piv sex, oral f!recieving. Comfort sex. first time between couple, not loss of virginity.

Immersivity: Reader is fem, no specified age. This is a fic i started last year when i was doing very, very poorly and relapsing. I wanted to write something for myself. I usually really try to make things as inclusive as I can but the descriptions of scars are detailed and they are detailed to my skin, which is pale. I'm sorry, but I wanted to write this for myself. I support people writing fics specific to themselves, their skin tone, their hair type, their wieght etc, as long as it's labled right. @fandxmslxt69 said i could do it and said if anyone has a problem, come to her <3

***************

"And the scars remind us that the past is real" Scars, Papa Roach

Joel hadn’t minded when you said you wanted to take things slow. He didn’t mind one bit. Being a dad of a preteen , albeit an easy one, didn’t leave him with much opportunity to move fast. He was busy. In fact, he hadn’t really intended to date at all, at least until Sarah was in college if that… but you had sparkled your way into his life accidentally, and he was trying his best to balance it all. You were understanding, patient, you didn't get mad if he had to rearrange plans or cancel because something with Sarah or work came up, and he thought things were going well. You were beautiful, fun, and the few times you’d briefly met Sarah, she seemed to like you. That was a necessity. Joel absolutely refuses to date someone that made Sarah unhappy, but Sarah had made a few references to him and dating before he met you anyway, so she seemed okay with it. It wasn’t like he had a relationship with her mom, as much as Joel had tried to foster something… her mom hadn’t been interested.

Tommy was a lifesaver. When he noticed Joel had been struggling, Tommy sat him down and asked to help him. Tommy asked Joel.

“You deserve a life.” Tommy had insisted.

“Sarah is my life.”

“Joel, you deserve m-”

“Don’t say I deserve more, Tommy. Sarah is enough. I don’t need more.”

Tommy sighed. “I know, brother, but can I at least help you out a bit? Give you a little free time to see that pretty girl of yours?”

Tommy had only met you once, but he liked you too. Joel acquiesced, letting Tommy take care of taking her to soccer practices (but he would NOT miss a game). This did end up being a big help and Joel had more and more time to see you… and when Tommy took Sarah out for a movie or she had plans with friends, he found more and more time alone in the evening with you.

Joel didn’t want to take his hands off your body the first time you and him made out on his couch, but when his hand went to feel up your breasts, you noticeably tensed. Fearing he overstepped, Joel quickly pulled back and apologized. Both of you nervous messes, it took a moment before you and Joel got full sentences out.

“Shit, I’m sorry-”

“No no it’s okay!”

“I just thought-”

“And I want too-!”

“No, I didn’t mean for anything tonight-”

“Oh, uh, right-”

“Not that I don’t want to!”

“Me too!”

Eventually, Joel clarified he was just enjoying feeling you, he didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything ‘like that’, and you explained he can touch you like that, you just wanted to wait a little bit… You sat back, nervous, but figured now was as good a time as any.

“Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, if we could…” You shuffle on the couch.

Joel looks nervous, but open. He wants to know you, good and bad, and if something was bothering you, he wanted to know. “Of course, I’m all ears.”

You take a deep breath. “Do you know what depression is?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah, I have an aunt with it but we don’t really talk about it much… Sometimes Sarah’s school sends her home with pamphlets… so I know a little, I guess.” That’s not what he was expecting.

“Well… I have it.”

“Oh.” He says again, dumbly. “I'm sorry. Or… am I not supposed to say that?”

You can’t help laughing a little. He was sweet, and he was trying. “It’s okay, Joel, and thank you. Well, about 6 months ago I started therapy and started taking an antidepressant, and things have been a lot better but… I need you to understand, things can get really dark for me sometimes and… it can be a lot for other people to deal with. I promise, it’s nothing dangerous to others!” You quickly add when you see his confused face. “It’s just, sometimes I’m not myself… and, if that’s not something you can handle, I want you to know that’s okay.”

Joel sat there for a moment, looking at you. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what depression was… but in the South, it wasn’t like they talked about that sort of thing much. Still, he liked you… he liked you a lot, actually, and he wanted to be there to support you. He couldn’t just run away from difficult times, not when he had a preteen. It would mean he wasn’t fit to be there for Sarah…

“I wanna be there for you.” Joel assured you, to your growing smile. “I may not know how to, but I wanna try my best.”

You smile more, and scoot up next to him, in turn Joel lays an arm around you. “Thank you, Joel”

Still, you were nervous… because Joel hasn’t seen you without sleeves… nonetheless without clothes.

In the end, it was almost 4 months before you had sex. Physically, you’d taken things slow, but emotionally you hadn’t at all. You were in love, and you’d both told each other as much. Tommy had given Joel shit for committing to a girlfriend without having sex, but Joel had told Tommy he could talk after he got an actual girlfriend, not hookups. Still, Tommy wanted to provide a good opportunity for Joel to fuck you the way Joel would want to. Sappy and romantic. So, when Sarah’s favorite band Halican Drops was coming to Housten, Tommy offered to pay for them to go and for a hotel.

Joel had tried to protest, saying it was too expensive, saying he wasn’t sure he wanted Sarah that far away, and that he should just come, but Tommy smacked him on the head.

“Dumbass, I’m giving you a night with your girlfriend!”

When Tommy promised not to have a single drop of alcohol, text every hour, not let her stand by any men, call when they leave the venue and get to the hotel ETC, Joel allowed it to happen. Sarah was ECSTATIC, being the first concert she’d ever been to, and although a teeny bopper band wasn’t exactly on Tommy’s dream list, he was excited to be a cool uncle. Also, Joel needed to get laid. He was getting cranky at work.

The night itself was a lot of fun. Joel took you to a nice restaurant, and after you came back to his place and changed into more comfortable clothes, you’d spent the night watching American Idol. Joel was very critical.

As the night progressed, your nerves grew as you knew where the natural progression of the night would take you. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to fuck Joel; you really, really wanted to. And you weren’t nervous about him. You knew Joel would stop if you said stop. What you were nervous about was your body. Joel looked good, but he had a bit of a stomach himself so you didn’t think he’d be worried about your shape or small imperfections… Joel was a gentle soul, kind, loving. Yeah, that wasn’t the worry. The worry had been on your skin.

In the middle of winter, you’d managed to not show much skin around him, with jackets and long sleeves and pants… but it was inevitable. Joel had been a wonderful support to you these 4 months, holding your hand, listening to you when you cried. Slowly you opened up to him about the circumstances that meant you needed extra help, and he was everything you could ask for.

But how would he react to this?

Joel had you laid out on the bed, both of you still dressed and his pajama covered pants grinding into your warm cunt. Joel sure liked to take his time.

“We don’t gotta do noth’n, you know that right?” Joel muttered into your neck, drunk on you but still being respectful like the gentle man he was.

“I know”

He pulled back. “Then why’dya seem so nervous?”

You look up at him, wide eyed and nervous, but you needed this… you needed to tell him the truth. “Joel…”

He got off you, standing up at the edge of the bed. The massive, rock hard erection in his pants couldn’t have been comfortable, but his willingness to stop anyway meant a lot. It was a low bar but it was there.

“We can stop, I’m sorry-”

You sit up on your elbows. “It’s not you, it’s just um… I should tell you something before we start…”

“Okay.” He was few on words, but he looked receptive.

You weren’t sure how to do this, how to open up that conversation… so you decided just to show him. Lights still on, you begin to take off your shirt.

Joel tried to stop you. “Hey, hey, no, let’s talk.”

You smile at him. “We will, Joel, just… let me show you…” After the shirt was off, you slid off your pants and laid on the bed, spread out and close to naked in a bra and underwear.

“Jesus, darl’n…” Joel mumbled, taking in the sight before him.

Scars littered your body.

It wasn’t a few, it was a lot, and the coverage was significant. Joel’s eyes roamed your body, cock softening quickly despite your near-nakedness and took in the expanse of the scaring. Your thighs were the most noticeable, pink slaves across your skin from the hips to mid-thigh. His hand reached out instinctively, but pulled back. You noticed.

Your voice was soft, reassuring. You knew he was confused and curious. “You can touch me, it’s okay.”

He does. Joel’s fingers a feather light across your skin, feeling the way the scars dipped and raised depending on severity. There there cuts, but also burn mark; small circles from cigarettes twisting up the patterns more. It was all over, reaching back to the curve of your ass. His eyes followed the trail up and the cuts became less in intensity and number, but never stopping over your hip bone and to your stomach. These were lighter; less that split open the skin but the silver lines were still raised over the belly fat as his fingers touched you. Your bra-line showed more burns, and he stopped short of the cloth.

You take his hands and guide Joel to reach behind you to unclasp the bra, allowing him to pull it up and reveal your breasts. His eyes water as he sees the scars never stopped, marring your breasts, although not nearly the horrific amount on your thighs.

“I don’t understand…” He mumbles, sadness and distress clear in his eyes. “You did this to yourself?” Joel takes your hand in his, examining the scars making a ring around your wrist. He kissed the inside, eyes threatening to pool over.

You nod. “Yeah…”

His voice cracks. “But… why?”

“Sometimes…” You start, overcome with emotions at the clear pain on his face. He loved you so much, the thought of you in this much pain hurt him as well. “It was all I could do to cope.”

He didn’t seem like he understood, but he wasn’t judging you. He didn’t look at you like a freak like so many others did. He just knew he didn’t want you to feel this way again.

“I havn’t done it in a while.” You give him a smile. “You make things easier. I mean, I’m still… yeah… but you do make things much better.” He did. Having someone who held you, listened to you, helped pick up the pieces… it wasn’t going to cure you, but it was amazing how much support helped with the addition of meds and therapy.

Joel relaxed at that, a relieved and gentle smile on his face. “I’m glad, darl’n…” He held you hand to his face, chapped lips nuzzling against your damaged skin. “”M here to take care of you now, okay? I wanna help.”

“You do.” You assure him, pulling his face down to you again and taking his mouth in yours. “You mean so much to me Joel, you make me so happy…” His body covers yours once more, his warm encasing you as he protectively holds you.

“You’re safe with me.” Joel mutters against your mouth, fingers digging into your soft flesh.

You pull him closer to you, grinding yourself up against him, enticing him again. “Still want you tonight, please? I can’t wait any longer.” It’s had been a long 4 months and fuck, fuck you wanted him, badly.

“Always gonna take care of you, princesa.” Joel grinds his jeans-clothed cock against the soft fabric of your underwear, making you shutter. “Gonna take care of my pretty girl, always.”

And god, did he.

Joel’s mouth was sloppy, wet, hot between your legs. His tongue fucked into your hole, prodding you open and his hips bucking against the bed. Insatiable. Arms locked around your legs, his nose nudged against your clit as it seemed he was trying push himself as strongly against your body as he could, to devour you, to bring you and him the most absolute pleasure he could.

You tug at his hair, soft waves in between your fingers as you draw him closer to you. Warmth pooling in your stomach, you felt that pressure grow with every moan, every vibration, every sluuuuuuuuuurp! of your juices, christ he was incredible. You felt elevated, devoted too and adorned in affection the way you had always wanted to be. He was everything in this moment. Joel’s tongue slid up in a swift swipe, mouth and that pouty lower lip latching onto your clit with his fingers pumped into you.

“JOEL! J-ohhhhhh” Your cry for his name melted into moans as you came on his mouth and fingers, crushing his head between thighs as your legs bent. The power of your orgasm caused you to tense and then melt into the bed. You give a low hum as he kisses your inner thighs. As you come to reality again, you register Joel’s sweet kisses all over your legs. He’s kissing the trail of your scars. Joel kisses over the scars on your right thigh and up the crease at your inner hip.

“What are you doing?” You mutter, never for a moment fully let go of his hair.

“Appreciating every inch of you.”

Joel kissed his way up your torso, over the scars under your tits and over the mounds. Latching onto your nipple, he swirled his tongue around the sensitive skin. You can feel him smile against your skin when your back arches off the bed.

“Fuck, Joel, your fucking mouth…” You whimper, and when his mouth lets go his hands never do. Softly, he touches you in all the scarred, squishy parts of you you were trained for so long to hate.

He kissed you tenderly, gentle hands a contrast to his hungry mouth. That tongue, that goddamn tongue…

When he slides in, your eyes can’t help but roll back; your chest rises up against his broad expanse. He filled you so perfectly, fucking deep inside you and filling you up. You never felt so full. Your heart, your life, your stretched out cunt… every part of you was full and euphoric.

“My sweet, perfect girl…” Joel grunts as he pumps into you, hand braced against the headboard and towering over you. You gazed up at him, the yellow lighting of the ceiling fan created a halo around him. Joel looked positively angelic.

Fitting, as he was your angel.

You were aware how he was perceived in his culésac. Joel was highly respected; kind, hard working if a bit disorganized. A good southern man who raised his brother and daughter well, helped the elderly neighbors, bailed his brother out of pinches and would use his truck to help anyone move. Yeah, people liked Joel. But they wouldn’t call him gentle, like how you feel his hands over your stomach. They wouldn’t call him soft like you felt his stomach against yours. They wouldn’t call him angelic, but that was all you could say as you came on his cock.

They certainly would not call him warm, but that was all you felt as you pulled out and sprayed ropes of cum on your stomach.

You dozed off to sleep as he spread his cum around your scarred skin.

You vaguely register him cleaning you up, tired and content, and wait for him to join you again. His body felt perfect against your, fitting so well against your body like two puzzle pieces so close together. You had mumbled a request to be dressed, just in case Sarah and Tommy came home early, so you were both cuddled up in sweats under a thick blanket.

Everything with Joel felt safe and warm.

"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going" -David Rossi, Criminal Minds.

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So, there we are. I'm very frustrated by the new bought of scars that are quite noticable that I have to wait to fade again but I refuse to be ashamed the way I used to. My scars are just scars from my trauma and illness. It's a moral failing of the people who have and continue to harm me, not mine.

Thank you all for reading, this was quite a venerable piece for me but I see a light at te end of the tunnel, and things will be getting better, I know it <3

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring @yorksgirl

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entername322 · 4 months

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Like a moth to a flame

Eunbi (ex Izone) X Male Reader ft Yujin (ex Izone, IVE)

Length: 12358 words

Next part

Life fucking sucks doesn't it? Dead father, alcoholic and abusive mom, failing grades, crippling depression, backstabbing friends, violent debt collector. Shit, is there anything going your way? Well at least you don't have drug addiction, kinda suck it took away your brother from you though. “Hey, you're okay?” You felt a tap on your shoulder waking you up from your existential crisis. “I'm fine, just….. thinking”, You look at your friend, Chan, “Yeah, life”, fucking sucks, but he doesn't need to finish that sentence. “Me and the boys are going out for a drink today. You want to come? We can cheer for your brother”, You shake your head, “Come on, drink on me”, You felt a frown forming in your face.

“Don't fucking offer me that shit”, Chan sighed, “Listen, I know you hate it, but it's an appropriate time for it. It's not a pity gesture, okay? I'm just looking out for you”, Thankfully your phone vibrated and took you away from the conversations. “Ohhh? You got another match?” Chan immediately leaned to see your phone screen notification. “It's the same match from last month, she's a piece of art I tell you that much”, A smile forms on your face as you see the mystery girl has texted you. “Come on man, I want to see”, You immediately pull away your phone, “Nuh uh, you gotta respect our privacy here”, Chan frowned at you. “Bro, the chat is already anonymous, come on, let me see”, You sighed, “One picture, that's it”, He smiled again.

You show him a picture the girl has sent you, a picture of her tits. “Bro, how the fuck do you keep getting those milfs. Be honest with me, do you know the admins?” You just shrugged, “Life, uhhh, equalise things”, No family, no money, no academic achievement, but hey at least you keep getting some nice hook ups here and there. “Yeah, such a nice gesture from the universe. Come on, are you going for a drink or not?” You think for a second, your boys or a sexy mysterious milf? “I'll pass for tonight”, Chan grinned at your shamelessness. “I'll remember this, you picked Joe's before bros”, He yelled at you as you walked away.

PurpleBunny: I did it.

You raised your eyebrow, intrigued.

PorkCrackling: Show me, you know I need proof for this type of stuff.

You waited for a few minutes before she sent you a picture. It was a picture of her spread ass cheeks with a butplug in her asshole.

PorkCrackling: That's boring, where's the picture of you wearing it at work

PurpleBunny: How am I supposed to take that picture?

PorkCrackling: Well, you said you work in a private office. So pull down your pants, or pull up your skirt, and show me this picture while you're wearing your office uniform.

PurpleBunny: No way, that's easily tracked back to me.

PorkCrackling: I know you're right, and I hate it. So I'll just take your word for it.

PurpleBunny: Thank you master.

PorkCrackling: How does it feel working with that in your ass?

PurpleBunny: It felt weird, and exciting.

PorkCrackling: Does anyone notice any different behaviour from you?

PurpleBunny: None, I hide it very well.

PorkCrackling: Good girl, should we move to the next step?

PurpleBunny: Yes please, I'm so excited.

PorkCrackling: Which one should we start first? Your anal training? Or your voyeurism?

PurpleBunny: Do I have to do voyeurism? Can I just do anal?

PorkCrackling: Hey, you said it yourself sweetie, you like it when people look at you.

PurpleBunny: I mean yeah, but I don't want to do it at my work. It's too risky.

PorkCrackling: Why is that?

You waited for her answer while looking at the picture she just sent you. Goddamn she has a nice ass, her body is a full package, it makes you wonder how she looks.

PurpleBunny: I work at a university.

PorkCrackling: Oh? A professor?

PurpleBunny: Yeah, you could say that.

PorkCrackling: So, on a daily basis you are being watched by a bunch of thirsty college boys? Must be a fun job huh?

PurpleBunny: Sometimes, it's too much, but yeah I like it when they check me out, although it felt so wrong.

PorkCrackling: Such a slut, fine then, let's do your anal training first. Let's do some simple things first. Buy a lube, use the dildo you bought last week. Send me a video of you using that in your ass.

PurpleBunny: Okay master, I'll get to it as soon as possible 💜💜💜

PorkCrackling: Good girl

PurpleBunny: 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

You laughed seeing her texts, how come someone at her age, probably 20-30s judging from her flawless skin, could be so immature. Why is she even asking this type of thing from you? The website you used is some anonymous hookup website used by a bunch of sex addicts. Yes, Chan is right, you do know one of the admins, he gave you an account to use there. You've had some encounters with a bunch of girls already, a single mother desperate for some relief, a soon to be married woman asking for some advice, a college chick who gave you a surprise threesome with her roommate. It's all fun and games, yet this one really doesn't want to reveal her identity, not even a name. She started texting you as if she's in a confessional booth for satan where she keeps talking about her sexual fantasies.

It was boring honestly, you use the website for a hookup, not kinky chat. Then she sends a picture of her tits, so you can't really pass up such an enticing meal can't you? Maybe, if you keep corrupting her you can eventually convince her to meet up. Your phone vibrates again, checking the notifications, you see that the mystery lady has sent you a video of her masturbating while moaning “master” a few times. “Fucking hell, just give up and hook up with me already”, It's a good video, a decent material for, relaxation.

The next day, you reluctantly went to school, checking on your mom before you leave is a bad idea, “You should've fucking die with your brother. Fucking useless meatbag”, Always pleasant to hear from her. Highschool sucks, the worst part is you know it wasn’t that bad, you just want to make it harder for yourself. “You're 2 hours late to school”, Your homeroom teacher yells at you. “It's history and geography, I'm not sitting in class to hear all that boring stuff”, You can clearly see his frustration. “Listen, I know your bother-” Your hand immediately slammed the table out of instinct, “Don't try to use that on me. If you say he's disappointed in me then you better zip it up”, He sighed and just shook his head.

“You have a future, you know that? It might seem bleak but there's still hope in it, and I hate that you're throwing it all away. I can't say that I know what you're feeling, but I know anger, I know all that pent up rage is eating you from the inside. I know it's hard for me to ask you to change, but can I ask you to try?” Father figures, that's what a rebellious kid like you needed, “How?” Thankfully you're smart enough to know it. “Talk to our counsellors, let's start with that”, That could work, maybe talking to some professional help is better than talking to some random strangers on the internet. “Fine, but I'm not going to detention”, It was a good offer, “Stop whining, go to the detention room”, It was not convincing enough.

You reluctantly left to the detention class, it's always nice when the school rewards you for skipping class by making you skip more classes. Once you get there you see your school pals, Yujin, “What are you doing here?” She smiled the moment she saw you, “I forgot to set the alarm and woke up late, you?” You sat down next to her, “Ahhh you know, making fun of Miss Chaeyeon’s divorce”, Yujin is your friend alright, but that's because she actually spent a lot of time with you at the detention room. She's less self aware about her situation in life. “Sit down and shut up, you two know the rule already”, Your detention teacher, Miss Taeyeon walks in and glared at the two of you.

The detention was fine, boring most of the time, it was unlucky since Miss Taeyeon was the one who got the shift so you can't really do much with Yujin. The lunch came around, just like usual you went to a secluded place near the football field to have some peaceful lunch. This school, it's quite prestigious which means the grade and academic achievement are pretty important here. You, being an idiot rebel, are an outcast. Your only friend, Yujin, is actually pretty popular. She's not an idiot like you, she's actually doing fine with her grades, she's just a sociopath who hates every teacher in the school.

Thankfully you didn't really have to spend your lunch alone, well you do physically, but mentally you're being accompanied by none other than PurpleBunny. It seems she is having a boring day at work and decided to chat with you. It's a nice conversation, although she doesn't want to reveal a single information about her identity she seems to like talking about her feelings and desires. Just as you expected, she is a very uptight woman at work, her life is seemingly perfect, her childhood sounds joyful and peaceful. It's very enviable really, it really made you want to corrupt her even further. Hey, if she's rich you can try to extort her for money, sure your admin friend is gonna hire a hitman on your ass but it's worth it right?

In the end, you just ask her for some pictures to entertain you, it's always nice to see boobs. “Pervert”, It's not nice when someone notices you staring at them, “What are you doing here?” Yujin doesn't answer your question and just looks back at the picture on your phone. “What kind of pervert watches porn in the middle of school?” She sat down next to you. “I'm not watching porn, I'm just, learning biology”, She rolled her eyes at your witty attempt, “Heard about your brother by the way, hope you're doing alright”, Yujin leaned at the wall as she looked to the sky. “Yeah, that's just life you know”, The two of you stay silent for a while, just enjoying the sun.

“So who's tits are those? They're massive”, Right, despite being your pals, you and Yujin aren't exactly close pals. “Some random girl I match up with, no it's not Tinder, it's a website similar to that but it's dedicated solely for hooking up”, Yujin raised her eyebrow. “Ohhh? Here I thought you are too scared with that kind of stuff”, Yujin scoffed at you. “Why on earth would you think that way?” Well, you actually have a clue on why, “Because you never made a move on me dude. I thought you were gay or something”, You slapped her for that.

“I didn't make a move, because you're not my type”, You said blatantly staring at her chest, “Heeh, it's bigger than their look you know”, Yujin proudly groped her own breast. “Are they this big?” You opened your phone again, “Hell no, do I look like a cow to you?” You wish she was. “What? What's with that look? I have other assets to flaunt”, Yujin suddenly stood up in front of you before turning around. “Well, it looks very nice”, You laughed seeing her bent down and show you her ass, it’s an invitation, or a dare. Of course, you took it, both of your hands immediately grabbed her ass and squeezed it, “Very firm too”, You even slapped it before letting go. “See? Ass over boobs. Women are born with their boobs size, but they can train their ass. Judging a girl by their boobs size is like a girl judging a guy by their height”, Yujin turned back around and flicked your nose. “Just because I'm short doesn't mean you can use it for your argument”, Yujin shrugged before pulling you up.

“Come with me after school, my house is empty today”, You should be a little scared or at least cautious of how eager she is, “I have a meeting with the school counsellor after class, so send me your address and I'll ‘visit’ you later”, You're actually scared? Fucking pussy. “Lame, fine, but the longer you keep me waiting the higher my expectations will be”, Yujin check your body out for a second. “Fuck it”, She said under her breath before pushing you to the wall and make out with you. Her hand seemingly enjoys your abs and her tongue is aggressively intruding your mouth. The heated make out ends quite quickly however, Yujin just pulls back as abruptly as how she initiated the kiss.

“You're good”, She licked her lips like a hungry predator, “You're down bad, next class is starting and I'm not going to get another lecture for skipping it so let's move”, Yujin frowned but she walked with you anyway. The two of you separate ways to your respective classes, and thus a boring time falls upon you. As the school ends your homeroom teacher immediately picks you up from your own class to make sure you didn't try to run. “Do you know who our counsellor is?” That's a good question, “No”, Like why would you know that? You barely remember the school's name.

“It's Miss Kwon, our principal, so you better behave because even I can't protect you from her”, Here's a better question actually, why is he so adamant on helping you? “Ahhh you're here, please follow me”, The question can wait, there's a smoking hot lady talking to you. “Who are you?” You felt a sharp pain from your hand due to your homeroom teacher's slap, what is his name anyway? “It’s okay Minho, you can call me Miss Eunbi if you like, your teacher said you'll be having a talk with me”, Hmmmm, she's very hot, how come you never notice her existence in the school. “Nice to meet you ma'am”, Your homeroom teacher slapped his head, “I'm sorry ma'am, he's…… different”, Eunbi just smiled at him before turning her attention back to you. “Well, let's not waste time, please follow me young man”

Eunbi led you to her office, “Please have a seat, make yourself comfortable”, She pointed at the couch, you took her advice and just lay on it. “Okay, so……this is a therapy session?” Eunbi smiled hearing your question before sitting on the couch near yours. “Well, I do have the licence for it, would you like to have one right now? If you do then I'll have to do some paperwork for legal reasons”, A therapy session with this hot chick will be fun. “Is it free?” She laughed at your question, making you frown. “Oh sorry, I didn't mean to make fun of you. Yes it's free, I do some therapy sessions with some of the students here as well”, Is that legal? Or ethical? Isn't there some conflict of interest since she's also your principal? Ahhhhh, don't think about it too much.

“Sure, why not”, Eunbi smiled and took out some paper, then she started saying some stuff about the privacy of the session and you know, all those formalities she had to say in order to start the therapy session. “So, where should we start?” Where should you start actually? “My brother died but too long ago”, Eunbi nods her head, “I've heard, I'm sorry for your loss”, It's either she cares or she's good at acting like she cares because her tone sounds genuine. “I've seen this coming from long ago, it sucks but it's not like I wasn't prepared for it”, How cold, don't you love your brother? “Really? What makes you say that?” Eunbi starts writing her notes. “Because he's a fucking crack addict. He's gonna die either because he took too much or because he tried to steal some crack from his supplier”, Eunbi seems surprised with this information.

“Oh my god I'm so sorry, I didn't know”, There's a hint of guilt and concern in her tone, “Yeah well, like I said, I'm not too bummed out about it”, Eunbi continued scribbling on her notes. “Well, how is your relationship with your brother?” It was a nice session, you don't really have friends who you feel comfortable sharing stuff with, so having someone to talk to like this makes you feel, delighted. Throughout the session you made some not so subtle attempt at checking her out. She's kinda hot, nice body proportions, beautiful face, flawless skin. In fact, being a pervert who likes to undress women with your eyes, you can quickly tell, her body is very similar to PurpleBunny. The baggy and thick sweater she wore made her cup size questionable.

“I guess there's where we will end our session”, She either doesn't realise it or she doesn't care, and if the latter then the chances of her being PurpleBunny would rise significantly. “It's a weird feeling”, She raised her eyebrow hearing you, “Why is that?” If she leans a little closer you might be able to glance down her cleavage. “Nothing, it's the first time I tried this and I didn't know what I expected”, Eunbi smiled at you reassuringly. “Well, I will say it's been a very successful first meeting for us. Would you like to have another soon?” Being close with her can help you itch your curiosity, so you set up another meeting on Friday.

After she lets you go, you immediately check your phone and see Yujin has sent you her address. “What a slut”, She also sent nude pictures asking you to come faster. Although you're very excited to release some stress, your mind was distracted with a text from your anonymous milf.

PurpleBunny: I have the lube, I will send you the video tonight 😘

PorkCrackling: Send me some pics

PurpleBunny: I can't, I'm still at work, I'll send some later master 😉

You walk to Yujin's place, and just as you expected, she's a fucking rich girl. You knock on the door and a housemaid greets you, she leads you through the mansion and leaves you in front of the bedroom door. Walking in you see Yujin is sitting on her bed, her eyes immediately give you some stingy looks, “Fucking hell, what took you so long?” She said before she started undressing. “I was having a deep emotional talk with Miss Eunbi. She's kinda fucking hot you know? I didn't know we had a sexy milf for a principal”, Yujin rolled her eyes. “She's a fucking whore, you know she likes to flaunt her tits to the school? Bet she got turned on being checked on by boys half her age”, That sounds familiar, although you can't really trust Yujin’s judgement regarding older people, teachers specially.

“Stop looking at me like that and just come here on the bed already, or….. are you scared?” Yujin, already fully naked, is laying on the bed, while you're just judging her silently. “Come on now, turn around, I want to see your ass more than your face”, She clicked her tongue before going on all four facing away from you. “You’re stalling too much dumbass, hurry up before- ahhhhh,”, Yujin didn't get to finish her words as your hand started to rub her pussy. “So fucking wet already? Were you thinking about me this whole time?” You leaned in and whispered in her ears. “You think I'm into dirty talk?” It's always fun playing with a brat doesn't it?

“Fuck, what was that for?” Yujin moaned as she felt a sharp pain on her ass cheek, “You have a nice ass you know? Very tempting to spank”, You raised your hand and spanked her again, “Fuck stop that”, Yujin growled. “Why? You don't like being the sub here?” You spanked her again making her body shivers, “Fuck you”, Yujin moaned as she felt your finger starts to penetrate her. “Goddamn, you have such a nice ass”, You spank her again, but this time you grabbed it and squeezed it hard, “Is that all you can do? Foreplay and dirty talk? What a……. Fuckkkkk”, She can't finish her sentences as you start using your mouth to tease her asshole.

“God, fucking, shit, since when are you, ahhhhhhh…… fuck, since when are you so good”, Yujin, despite her demeanour, is not exactly experienced in this type of stuff. Her previous experiences was mostly with guys whose too scared and intimidated by her so they fuck up a lot. Not you though, you love seeing her like this, hearing the bitchy girl struggle to say anything else other than moans bring a sense of accomplishments inside you. “Goddamnit just fuck me already”, Yujin moaned, “Say please”, You laughed, Yujin clicked her tongue, clearly not enjoying the teasing you had with her. “Fine, can you please for the love of god just give me your cock”, You can barely contain your laughter hearing how goofy it sounds.

Standing up, you immediately lose your outfit, “You got some pills right?” Yujin nodded while she pressed her ass to your erect cock. “Holy fuck”, She moaned before turning around, her eyes locked with your dick. “How is that thing real?” Good is fair after all, he gave you a broken family and an abusive mom, but at least you got a big cock, and plenty of opportunities to use it. “Hehehe, is this your first time?” Yujin frowned upon hearing your question, “You think I'm a virgin? Haaa, unlike you I have guys lining- Haaaaaa”, You suddenly plunge your cock deep and shut her up, “Fuck, you felt like a virgin”, Her walls are so tight you can barely fit half of your cock in.

“Hhhnnnggg, thanksss”, Yujin moaned as her leg started to quiver, “Are you cumming already?” You spanked her ass making her tighten her pussy even more. “Stop…… talking, and….. start moving”, Yujin struggle to stop herself from moaning, “You sure?” This time she start silent for a second. She calms her breathing down for a second before nodding. There's a problem through, she didn't expect you still have more to shove in her so when you start pushing deeper Yujin let out a pained moan, “Fuck, there's more?” She grunted, your hand reached out and caressed her head. “Calm down princess, just relax for a second”, You can feel her pussy tightening again the moment you call her princess. “Ahhhhh, take it slow please”, She said meekly.

You smile feeling victorious, then you start moving slowly, a cacophony of moans keeps pouring out of Yujin's mouth. Once your hips finally meet with hers, Yujin can't contain her orgasm and just starts cumming all over her bed, soaking your thighs. “God, you're even worse than a virgin. I know you've always had a stick up your ass, guess it's just pent up stress isn't it?” You bite her ears as her body starts shaking. “Just fucking shut up already”, She groaned, you raised your hand and just spank her again, this made Yujin let out a protest moan but she doesn't say anything else.

Slowly you start moving, gently pulling back and thrusting forward. Yuji puts her head down as she struggles to make any coherent sound. For a while there were no words exchanged between the two of you, only moans and grunts. Thankfully Yujin doesn't take too long in order to get used to your size. Quite quickly you pick up your pace and start pounding her. No words have been said yet, only moans after moans followed by the sounds of flesh slapping against each other. “Fuck, I'm cumming”, Yujin finally broke the silence as another wave of ecstasy washes over her.

“Are you asking for permission?” You tease her, Yujin glanced back at you with anger. Her looks don't last long as she immediately starts quivering. As the second orgasm passes you can feel her body relaxed even further, making it easy for you to pound her even faster. Watching her ass jiggle every time your hips slam into it has caused your hand to move by itself and spanking her occasionally. Every time your palm delivers a powerful slap her mouth let out a moan and you can feel her pussy tightening around you.

Yujin is slowly losing her mind, she can't even hold herself up as your hand wrapping around her hips is the only thing stopping her from laying flat on the bed. The pounding you gave her only got more aggressive seeing how limp she has become. “Tired princess?” Yujin hates to admit it, but when you call her princess there's this little funny feeling growing in her stomach. She hates it, and she hates how you notice those little feelings. With great determination she pushes her body up, with every last ounce of her strength she moves her hips to match yours, trying to show you she isn't some spoiled princess who can't do anything.

Her struggle is kinda cute for you, out of decency you slow down your pace just enough so she can follow your rhythm. Yujin feels her body is on fire, beads of sweat start dripping down her forehead, pooling down on her pillow that's already stained due to her drooling. “Are you close?” She tried to sound tough, yet those words ended up sounding like a desperate whimper which painted her true feelings. “Maybe? I'll cum sooner if you beg for it”, You grinned seeing Yujin helpless body struggling to continue. “Pleaseeeee, cum inside me, I'm getting close too, if you keep going I might pass out”, She managed to say those words although not having to face you directly greatly helps.

“Come on, one more time”, You leaned forward and kissed her ear, “Fuck, please cum inside me already, fill me up with your thick, warm cum. I need it, please”, Now she actually sounds like a spoiled princess. It works, you can feel your balls tightening ready to shoot your sperm and paints her inside, “Fuck, I'm cumming Yujin”, Yujin was struggling to not pass out, yet the second she felt a sudden warmth feeling up her inside her body went to overdrive as she had her third orgasm. You emptied your load deep inside her as Yujin dropped her head to her pillow and let out a muffled groan.

As you finished filling her up your body slumped down next to her, you were too excited to notice how tiring that sex was. Yujin was glancing at you, there's disdain in her eyes yet she looks so cute that you can't stop yourself from caressing her head. “I always knew you were a princess”, Yujin headbutted you, “Don't you ever call me that again”, It was meant to hurt you, thankfully she didn't break your nose or something like that. “You like it when I call you that, just admit it”, You decided to test your fate by spanking her ass. “I will kill you”, You tested your fate again by laughing at her threat. “This is fun Yujin, we should do this more”, Your hand can't help but caress and massage her butt, “I hate you”, God she's so cute.

“Well, I like you”, You leaned in and kissed her, Yujin felt her body freeze the moment you kissed her. A torrent of emotions flooded her, cracking the wall of her ego. Her hands tried to push you away but she's too weak to do anything, so you grabbed her and pulled her on top of you. Your hand happily playing with her ass while your tongue is fighting for dominance against hers. Being in your arms, having you play with her body because you knew she can't do anything, it really pisses Yujin off. Yet the feeling of being dominated like this is really good. You haven't broken her wall down, but there's enough crack there for you to slither in the future.

As the kiss ended Yujin gasped for air, her body trembling out of ‘rage’ or so she labels, truthfully she felt so excited from your actions. “We should roll together”, Yujin frowned but she can't bring herself to reject that invitation. “I'll do it, only if you treat me like an equal. You're not the Dom in this relationship but you're too proud to admit it. So let's just be an equal”, She's projecting a lot, “Whatever you want princess”, She frowned at you. “And don't call me that”, Perhaps she will soon realise her frowning face is a cute invitation for you to kiss her. “Fuck you can't just kiss me every time you want to shut me-”, You kissed her again. She pulls away and tries to protest but you grab her and kiss her again. This goes on for a while until she finally relent and let you make out with her.

In the end Yujin just lay on her bed, facing away from you but eagerly pushed her body on to yours as you cuddled her from behind. “Is your parents gonna kill me if I stay any longer?” Hopefully her parents are as ignorant about her sex life as your mom is to you. “They're not home, they never do”, For a moment you heard a fragile little girl crying for help, an opportunity to grab her by the neck and make her your toy. “Do you want me to stay the night?” You can try to tease her by kissing her shoulder but maybe that would make her kick you out. Yujin doesn't say anything, she just silently closes her eyes and tries to get some rest.

The two of you fell asleep until late at night, at that point you felt kinda hungry, “No, go out and find your own food”, Yujin wants this to be casual. Having dinner together at her house is not casual, that's romantic, and she's too scared to start that, even if her heart really wants to. “Well then, see you later princess”, Yujin frowned again, it's less out of anger and more of annoyance, she then pushed you away from her bed before getting dressed.

“Yo, where you at”, It's midnight, so there's not many places you can dine in, of course your dumbass group of misfits always wakes up late and explores the city. “We’re eating ramen, come”, Chan said with his mouth full of food, “Bet”, It's a cold and lonely night, the type you love the most. During your walk you check your phone and see PurpleBunny is looking for you. You send her some message saying you're busy with some stuff right now. After chatting with her for a while you know she never wakes up this late, she's a ‘professor’ after all. The night passes by uneventfully, your friends are a bunch of college kids and unemployed bastards so they tend to wake up till morning.

“Fuck so you're gonna introduce her to us or what?” Chan said, you've told your friend about Yujin before, they seem to think you have some romantic attraction towards her. Although it's understandable where that thought came from, it still rubs you the wrong way. “I think she's gonna bring too much chaos to this”, That's a terrible excuse, your group is the most chaotic shit you've ever been a part of. “Alright kiddo, if you're too shy you just say it next time”, You didn't bother entertaining them further and just had your dinner.

Coming back home, you find your mom passed out on the couch. It's an everyday sight for you at this point, and it pisses you a lot. You remember how grand Yujin's house is, and now coming back to this dumpster of a ‘home’ made you curse the world for making you born into this ‘family’. “Haaa, fuck it”, There's no point mourning over things you can't change, you left your mom in the couch, bathed in alcohol and her own vomit to get some rest for the night.

The next day, school goes by like usual, nothing changed, except for Yujin's demeanour around you. “Jesus, can you not breathe so loud? You're fucking annoying you know that?” It causes some of her friends to distance themselves from the two of you. “You're so cute when you're being shy like this”, Yujin blushes for a second before she starts slapping you, “Don't. You. Fucking. Call. Me. That. Again”, Every word laced with pure anger. “Come on princess, I'm not you, I don't have a hidden masochist kink inside me”, Your laugh only made her enraged even more. The ‘assault’ was so bad a teacher had to step in and pull her off.

You find this whole thing to be amusing, Yujin being too enraged to say something to ease the situation makes the teacher think you two are having a genuine fight. “Alright that's it, you two come with me to the teacher's office”, Of course the lovely Miss Taeyeon decides to take this whole comical situation seriously. As you and Yujin walk together you see her glaring at you, “Since when are you so sensitive with words? I thought you always said don't throw any punches if you can't take them”, Pointing out her little hypocrisy almost made her lose her mind. “I'll fucking ruin you”, And just like that you got an invitation to her house again, she's so easy to play with.

Taeyeon brought the two of you to her office, she sat you down in front of her before opening her laptop. “I've had it with you two, why can't you spend one day, just one day without causing any trouble”, Taeyeon shakes her head, for a while the room went silent with nothing but the sounds of her typing on her keyboard. “Explain yourself, Yujin you started this, what happened?” Taeyeon glares at Yujin who just scoffed, “It's not important”, Taeyeon knows there's pretty much all she can get from Yujin so she turns to you. “It was a friendly scuffle, I don't know why everyone suddenly got so worked up”, She looked at you coldly, “Whatever it was, fights are not acceptable in this school. So either you two do a better job at convincing me that it's not a fight or I'll suspend both of you”, You can't say no to some free vacation…… and it seems neither does Yujin.

“I….. really can't with the two of you right now”, Taeyeon rubbed her forehead out of frustration seeing that you and Yujin stayed quiet. “It's personal okay? But I promise you it was not a fight, we were just…..”, You glanced at Yujin who’s ready to maul you, “Joking”, Your return her glare with a smile. “Don't tell me it's a couple's quarrel”, Yujin frowned hearing Taeyeon's words, “Well, not a ‘couple’ just yet so-”, You can't really finish your words because Yujin suddenly slapped your head. “Jesus fucking Christ, the two trouble kids are dating now”, You can hear the frustration grow even more within Taeyeon's voice. “We are not dating”, Yujin stomps her leg to the girls before rudely leaving the room.

Left alone with Taeyeon, you gave her a shrug, “She's kinda shy about it”, Taeyeon shakes her head. “I'll let you off this once, I saw everything and you don't seem to fight back. But for the love of god do not bring your lover’s problem to school”, You nod completely uninterested in her words. “Are you gonna send me home now?” Taeyeon glared at you, “No, go back to class, and after school you will report back to me for another detention”, Well fuck, there goes your plan for the day….. Do you have plans for the day? Anyway, the school went by uneventfully after that, Yujin was nowhere to be seen and you heard she just decided to go home.

Let's move the other person who is having an eventful day, Eunbi. She recognises that this is probably a bad idea, but after yesterday she decided to check on your family situation. She was prepared for the worst, yet when she arrived at your house she realised it was worse than what she expected. You live in the ‘slums’, the place was so bad she felt someone might just kidnap her right there and then. “Are you sure you want to do this?” Thankfully she went with your over caring homeroom teacher, Mister Minho. “I think, I need to at least see for myself how bad it was”, He nodded and knocked on your front door.

There was no answer for a while so he knocked again, and no answer again, so he knocked again and this time the two of them heard a shout from the inside. “Fuck off”, The two exchanged a glance, “Good morning ma'am, we're from your son’s school, can we talk for a moment”, There wasn't any answer but they could hear a bunch of noise from the inside. The door finally opened, the first thing they noticed was the sickening smell of vomit and alcohol, then they saw your mom who looked like she just got out of a trash can. “Who the fuck are you two fancy pants”, Eunbi put on a friendly smile, “Good morning ma'am, sorry to bother you, this is Minho, your son's homeroom teacher and I am Eunbi, the school's principal. Can we talk for a moment?” Your mom looks at her two uninvited guests, “You can talk from here”, Honestly, from the little glimpse they get from the outside, they prefer to not walk inside as well.

“Well it's about your son, yesterday he had skipped some morning classes…..” Minho starts talking about what you did yesterday, then Eunbi follows up about the therapy session she had with you. Eunbi hides everything about the talk but still talks about how you seem to be pretty shaken by your brother's death, although you never admit it. Throughout the talk they notice how uninterested your mom is, she even walks inside at one point and starts drinking some liquor from a half empty bottle. “So? What does this have to do with me?” Your mom said as they finished their stories, “Well, as his councillor I would like to ask, how has he acted around the house? Especially after your oldest son's death”, Eunbi felt like this is a stupid question, “I don't fucking know”, And she stands corrected. “Listen you fucking retards, I don't give a shit about him, so don't fucking come here and waste my time. Fucking comeback if he got expelled or if he died”, She spit on their feet before slamming the door in front of them.

The two stand there silently for a while, “This is disturbing”, Eunbi nods at Minho's words, this is problematic. “This is, worse than what I expected, far worse”, How can she help you with therapy when you're living in this shithole with that ignorant mother of yours. “Should we call the authorities or something?” Eunbi shakes her head, reluctantly, “Unfortunately he's already 18 so the authorities can't do much as he's no longer considered a child. Besides, I think I need to talk to him again to make sure he doesn't find what we're doing here to be, intruding and overbearing”, Minho sighed, why does he care so much about you anyway? “Yeah, let's go back to school”

Eunbi gets back to her office and stresses out over you, she felt, helpless. There's just this thing about you that evokes pity inside her, something that she has understood would make you angry. Unfortunately she can't help you that much, so for now she just prepares a few questions and notes for your next session. Eunbi took a look at her phone to find her chatting with PorkCrackling, it was a little disappointing that he didn't answer her last night, after all she was so excited to show him her experiment last night. Eunbi's mind floated off to last night when she finally tried anal. The weird yet enjoyable feelings of her asshole being intruded by the massive dildo she had bought weeks prior was intoxicating.

She reads back your chats with her, at first it was a little awkward as she started using the website not to find hookups, but a release for her sexual fantasies. Thankfully PorkCrackling seems to find it fun and just goes along the ride. The first thing they did was some sexting, which was super hot for her. Then it starts to grow apparent how dominant the guy really is which made her even more turned on. The two of them quickly find their dynamics, he becomes the master and she becomes the kinky slave. When he first asked for a picture she was reluctant, but her excitement overcame her and so she sent a picture of her boobs. From there it only went downhill, deeper into the abyss of depravity and lust.

It felt arousing, sending pictures like that to him, his compliments and comments about how her pics are a perfect jerk off material made her happy. Even though Eunbi is used to being checked out, just the feeling of sending her private pictures to a total stranger really excites her. Every time she sends him a picture he always replies back with some very dirty messages about all the things he wants to do to her. Slowly her guard is crumbling down, the idea of meeting this mysterious man becomes more and more appealing by the day. As she scrolls down her text she notices that he never really sends any pictures of himself. She never really minds it, after all how could a good slave ask anything from her master. However since the idea of meeting him in person has become a plausible next step of their relationship, Eunbi can't help but feel curious on what to expect. Would he be able to live up the expectations she has set in her mind? Or would he falter and ruin the dream image she has made up? Shaking her head, Eunbi felt determined to ask him for one, even if he wasn't really that impressive, just the conversation alone is fun for her.

As you are busy trying to sneakily play with your phone in the middle of class you find a text from your obedient slave. It was a cute and anxious chat asking for a picture from you as a change. Fuck it just whip out your dick and send it to her? Although, if she is really Eunbi, wouldn't she notice the uniform you're wearing? It would be fun wouldn't it, would she freak out? Would she get consumed by her depravity and get turned on by the idea of having this relationship with her own student?

You're too curious to pass up on such an opportunity, so you quickly went to the bathroom and sent her a text, asking for a picture to get you hard. Eunbi panicked for a second seeing your text, after all she's still not sure of taking a picture in the middle of her office during work time. Thankfully she took quite a lot of them last night when she was experimenting, so she sends all of them to you. Those pictures are enough to make you feel somewhat regretful that you spend the night cuddling with Yujin instead of just sexting. “Goddamnit, now I'm actually hard”, Jerking off in the school bathroom sounds like a bad idea, but fuck it why not.

First you set up the stage, take off your uniform to make sure you didn't ruin them, get in a comfortable position, then you start masturbating. You took a few pictures of your cock, and even sent a video of your ejaculation. Carefully making sure that it doesn't show more than just a glimpse or a little part of your uniform. After you clean up you carefully check the video and pictures before sending it to her and go back to your class as if nothing happened. The moment Eunbi checked them she became mesmerised. No wonder you asked her to get a big dildo, you've been preparing her to take your full length. You weren't being subtle about wanting to meet up with her eventually, it was pretty obvious by your text. Yet the idea of her being corrupted to be your actual sex slave was so hot. All this time you weren't just helping her with her fantasies, you were also preparing her to be a prefect fuck you for you.

Her mind is fogged by arousal, it distracts her from most of her work to the point that she has to leave early and spend the day just masturbating to your cock. That's it, she can't prolong the meeting any longer, she wants you deep inside her, she wants that ‘thing’ to split her apart and ruin her inside. You never really say anything about your identity, Eunbi only knows you're busy during the day with stuff and she doesn't pry into it. Thankfully she spent so long just masturbating that once she's done it's already dark outside, which means you're free.

PurpleBunny: You convince me, let's meet up master.

PorkCrackling: Ohhhh? So eager? I should've send you some pictures from the start if I know it was that easy

PurpleBunny: Maybe you should've master, your cock, is gorgeous

PorkCrackling: Huh, first time I ever heard someone describe it as that.

PurpleBunny: 😚

PorkCrackling: Come on, first show me the videos, those pictures are hot but I want to see you pleasuring yourself with that dildo.

Eunbi then sends the video, it was super scuffed, after all she's trying really hard not to show her face. However, it's also one of the hottest videos you've ever watched.

PorkCrackling: Good girl, but the cinematography is wack, maybe next time you can show yourself? After all, we're meeting up soon.

PurpleBunny: Maybe next time 😉

PorkCrackling: When do you want to meet?

PurpleBunny: Well, tomorrow I have some meetings after work so Saturday is fine.

PorkCrackling: So the meeting, are we talking about getting to know each other meet up or just, straight up sex?

PurpleBunny: I want to have a little talk first before we go back to my place.

PorkCrackling: Oh? A date? Sounds like a pretty big switch up after your ‘full anonymous’ policy.

PurpleBunny: I'm just a little on edge, I need some relief.

PorkCrackling: So desperate, I'll do it if you go to work without underwear tomorrow.

PurpleBunny: Do I have to?

PorkCrackling: Go without underwear, send a few pictures for me tomorrow throughout the day.

PurpleBunny: Okay fine, I'll see you Saturday master 💜💜💜

Seeing her accepting the command made you happy, now you just need to wait for tomorrow when you can match her outfits. However your happiness is short-lived as you come home and find your dead beat of a mother puking in your living room. It's not just the stench but the fact that she never cleaned it made you feel icky. This whole house is now just a ground zero for the next plague that would wipe half of the world population. “You, fucking useless bastard”, It's a rare occasion that she acknowledged your existence, something must've happened while you were gone. “Your fucking retarded teachers fucking come here and ruin my fucking day”, A day she spent productively surely. Although, who came to your house earlier today? And why? Is it your new therapist? Is it your new father figure? “Not my fucking fault”, You left her in the living room as she continue cursing you. The next day, need to come sooner.

“Fuck I feel like such a slut”, The idea of going to work without underwear really does feel hot, so even though Eunbi doesn't like it, her lust side just won her over. She tried to wear some baggy sweater to hide her jugs yet it turns out to be a bad idea since her sweater just rubs against her nipple making her body feel hot. The sweater is very thick so her erect nipple doesn't show through it, but it also means she can't concentrate at all due to the never ending stimulation. Just as promised, she sent a few video and pictures showing you that she is following your command.

Unfortunately you can't check them due to a very pissed off girl. “I hate you so much”, Yujin has dragged you out to the rooftop at lunch to dump all her anger towards you. “Really? So you didn't miss me at all after ghosting me yesterday?” You smiled at her, Yujin grabbed your collar before pushing you to the wall, she's taller than you, well you're pretty short so almost everyone is taller than you. “Fuck you”, It seems one day has made her forgot how dangerous you are, the moment she lock you to the wall you just leaned in and kissed her. The kiss really hit her at the right spot, so despite her hatred Yujin can't help but lower her hand. You did a quick spin and pressed her to the wall this time, your hand slipped inside her shirt and your finger rubbed her nipples through her sports bra. “Fuck, you're such a dick”, She moaned feeling your hand playing with her tits. “Come on Yujin, stop being so edgy all the time, you like me, just admit it”, She looked at you frowning, less angry to you but towards her slow acceptance towards her feelings.

“You said I ghost you? You didn't even bother contacting me after school”, And yes, she's also angry that you ghost her, and she's angry that she felt angry for being ghosted. She has a lot of issues. “I was busy, okay? Sorry, are you free tonight?” You cupped her face in your hand. “Tonight? Meet me after school”, Yujin is trying not to blush but the warmth she feels on her cheeks is making it hard. “I need to do something first, besides I have a therapy session with Miss Eunbi today”, Yujin frowned before slowly nodding, “Now are you gonna fuck me here or what?” You laughed and shook your head, “No, the teacher gonna kill us, besides I'm hungry”, You let go of her, “I'm not eating with you”, Yujin stomps her feet before storming away.

Thankfully she left you alone for the whole day, letting you check the pictures PurpleBunny has sent you. Excitement flows throughout your body, and you quickly make your way to Eunbi's office. Your heart is beating erratically, take a deep breath, calm down for a second. “Yes?” Eunbi said as she heard someone knock on her door, she opened the door to find you, with your usual distant and bored look. “Oh, good afternoon sweetie, what brings you here?” You flinched hearing her call you, “Am I having a therapy session after class?” Your eyes travel around her body, same sweater, in fact with one of the videos providing a little view of the background you easily match it with the bookshelves she had in her office.

“Of course, I'll see you after class okay?” Eunbi smiles, then she notices a sudden change in your gaze, some weird sensation washes over her body as if something is telling her to run. “Okay, I'll see you after class ma'am”, A smile forms on your face before you walk away, trying your best to hide your excitement. PurpleBunny is Eunbi, your own fucking principal, holy fuck isn't it exciting? All this time you thought she had hidden her face because she was ugly or something, but no, it was really just for her identity. Fuck she also lied about being a professor, of course she did, it sounds so much worse if a principal said that she got turned on by her highschool students checking her out. God, the world is so small isn't it? Perhaps the universe does have a sense of humour. Actually, you just realised, Eunbi was wearing a skirt, if she's not wearing panties, then wouldn't you be able to sneak some peek later? You should ask her if she's wearing anything underneath there.

PurpleBunny: I think it's a mistake wearing this sweater.

PorkCrackling: It's too baggy, you should've worn something tight.

PurpleBunny: I'm not ready for that 😔

PorkCrackling: You've only sent the pictures of your upper part, let me see you drenching your pants with how aroused you are.

PurpleBunny: I'm not wearing a pants ☺️

PorkCrackling: Oh? You're wearing a skirt with nothing underneath it?

PurpleBunny: Hehehe

She then sent a video of her dripping wet pussy under her table. You weren't focused on her though, you were checking her skirt and sweater, the exact same as the one Eunbi wore. The glimpse of her office is also another proof that PurpleBunny is Eunbi.

PorkCrackling: You're such a slut

PurpleBunny: 😚 Can't wait to see you soon master. I'm so horny right now I feel like we should do something fun tonight 😉

PorkCrackling: I have some plans for tonight, should I bring you some flowers for tomorrow?

PurpleBunny: Hehehe, no, what if you bring me some pork crackling instead?

PorkCrackling: I'll do it, if you bring me a live purple bunny.

PurpleBunny: That can be arranged, see you later master 😘

Finally, school ends, you immediately run to Eunbi's office, she opens the door, seemingly already waiting for you. “Come in, please take a seat”, You glanced around the hallway, there's some teachers walking around, maybe you should stall until they got home. “So, let's start our second session”, Eunbi sat in front of you, carefully crossing her legs to make sure she didn't reveal anything to you. “First off all I should start first, I'm sorry if I may be too intrusive, but me and your teacher Minho have decided to visit your house yesterday”, So it is her, and that weird guy, who probably wants to groom you or something. “I know, did you puke when you walked in?” Eunbi was surprised seeing how nonchalant you are about it. “No, we didn't come in”, She shook her head remembering how awful it seemed inside.

“Oh, must be mom then”, Hearing you talk like this made her feel sad, and you can see it. “Your mom-”, You can't afford to ruin the mood for now, “Is useless yes I know”, You need to stall without really making her feel down. “Right”, Eunbi sighed thinking you're not ready to talk about your mom yet. “Let's start with something else first then, yesterday I had some talk with my brother's friends”, The goal was to stall for time, the hurdle is the fact that you didn't realise how much you actually got impacted by your brother's death. What was supposed to be a long dragged out story about your experiences with him was slowly turning into a trauma dump session. You didn't cry, but at the end of the stories you were so emotionally exhausted that you might as well cry.

“I see, I'm glad you're brave enough to share this story with me”, Eunbi was listening so attentively that she forgot she wasn't wearing any underwear. Your eyes were fixed on her exposed pussy, she was confused about what you were looking at before it clicked inside her head. “So, that was an invitation?” You smiled, Eunbi who already closed her legs was blushing so hard she couldn't even say anything, “My god, the principal is a pervert”, Eunbi cleared her throat before gaining her composure. “So, that marks the end of our session, is there anything you want to ask me?” Her tone is stern, making sure you know she wants you to forget what you just see. “I have one actually, how do you plan on getting a live purple bunny?”

Eunbi was confused at first, then her eyes widened in disbelief. She stared at you with fear and dumbfounded expression, all this time, was it you? “I… I don't know what you mean”, It was the best she could do. “Come on if you want me to bring some pork crackling you have to bring a purple bunny, a live one”, You smile seeing how much she is in denial right now. Eunbi feels her body is drained of energy and life, all the scary and paranoid thoughts start to invade her mind. All this time, she's been having a sexual relationship with her own students. Wait, no she hasn't had sex yet, so it's not sexual, everything should be fine right? But no, even so just the fact that she's a slut behind closed doors could ruin her reputation. Not just her job but her life can be ruined forever.

“Hey, slut”, Eunbi jumped hearing how close you were, she didn't realise you moved next to her already. “N-n-n-no”, You smile seeing how red she has become, your hand grabs her bare thighs, “You have such nice thighs you know that?” Eunbi wants to push your hand away, wait, does she? Because the sensation of your hand really sends some jolt of ecstasy through her body. Seeing her having an inner struggle made you smile, you leaned closer and bite her ears before whispering into it, “Come on slut, let's do it once, you don't know how much I've been waiting for this moment”, Your breath tickles her ear making her let out a moan. “We shouldn't”, She said with a few moans, “No one would know, come on, you know you want this”, Your hand travelled up her thighs, into her skirt and carefully rubbed her wet pussy.

“No, we-, Ahhhhhhh, we can't”, Eunbi moaned again feeling your hands starts to rub her clit, “I don't think you realise, you don't really have an option here”, Eunbi felt her heart drop, she know it's true, if she pisses you off her life can be ruined. Seeing the defeated look on Eunbi's face made you feel even more horny. You started kissing her neck, your hand continue rubbing her clit, “Hhhnnnngggg, fuck, slow down”, Eunbi moaned feeling her body is giving in to her desires. “You’re so wet already, tell me slut, did anyone see your dripping wet pussy today?” You said before you continue biting her neck. “Ahhhh, no”, She moaned, “You sound disappointed”, You pulled down her sweater, exposing her beast. “Hhhmmm, no I'm not”, You laughed before you move in front of her, “You have such a nice tits slut”, Eunbi blushed again, hearing you say those words face to face really hit differently.

You leaned down, grabbing her boobs and pulling it to your mouth, your teeth sinking into her nipple forcing Eunbi to close her mouth in order to muffle her scream. Your hand slips inside her pussy and starts fingering her aggressively. Your mouth moves to the other tits, wrapping your lips around her nipples and sucking as hard as you can like a hungry baby. Moans and whine keep escaping Eunbi's mouth as she desperately uses both of her hands to muffle them as best as she can. Not long you can hear her muffled scream as her pussy tightens around your finger. Her juices sprays to your hand and drip down the couch leaving stains, you slow down a moment waiting for her orgasm to pass.

“That was nice wasn't it?” You can't help but tease her seeing she's out of breath already, Eunbi bites her lips trying her best not to say yes. Standing up, you slowly unbuckled your belt and pulled down your pants, Eunbi's eyes can't seem to leave your bulge. As you drop your pants Eunbi starts moving closer to you, seeing how eager she is you pull her head and press her face to your bulge, letting her feel your cock through the fabric of your underwear. “Come on, you know you want to”, Eunbi can feel your cock throbbing against her cheek, reluctantly she pulls down your boxer and immediately her face was hit by your erect cock. “Suck it”, Her eyes are mesmerised with your dick, her nose is inhaling the musky smell it gives and unconsciously she starts to drool.

Eunbi's hand gently wrapped around your cock, she sticks out her tongue and slowly licks the tip of your cock. All her moves were so sensual and careful as she was too scared to do something wrong. “Don't be too shy now, you've practised for this”, You caressed her cheek making her feel embarrassed and also a little giddy, she nods her head before taking your cock in her mouth. Her tongue swirls around it as her gaze is fixed into your eyes as if she was pleasing for some kind of appreciation. Slowly she lowered her head, taking your cock deeper into her mouth inch by inch. Your precum starts to leak down her tongue, the taste was heavenly for her and she starts to suck on your cock expecting more. Through some great effort she managed to swallow your whole cock down her throat, her tongue continuing licking your shaft, tracing along your veins.

“Good girl”, A look of happiness can be seen in her eyes before she quickly hides it, her head starts to bob up and down slowly. With every passing moment her move got faster and sloppier, her spit drools down her lips and coated your cock making her release some wet sounds every time she slammed her head down your shaft. Her eyes start to water, messing up her mascara as your hips start to follow her rhythm. From time to time she will stop at your tip and hungrily suck on your leaking precum while her hands start to massage your balls trying to milk them out. This is it, this is the slut you've made for the last month and she is perfect. Her eyes never leave yours even for a moment, Eunbi can't tell why, but she just feels like she needs to keep eye contact.

“Ooohhhh fuck, you're so good at this aren't you?” Hearing your compliments made her legs start to squirm as her pussy starts to drip more juices to the couch. Her moral dilemma has become an afterthought as a new idea came to her mind. As long as she can continue pleasuring you then she can make sure you won't tell anyone about this. It was nothing but a pathetic rationalisation of her lust. Yet she doesn't care, now she only needs to focus on pleasuring you, every flinch, every moan, every grunt that you made is sending jolts of excitement throughout her body. “Ahhhh fuck Eunbi, I'm cumming”, The moment she heard that Eunbi immediately pull up her head leaving only the tip of your cock in her mouth. One of her hands starts to jerk your cock furiously while the other one is massaging your balls, feeling your hot sperm swimming around inside it. “Fuck, take it slut”, You grunted as you feel your sperm starts to shoot inside her mouth. The thick and warm cum floods inside her mouth coating every inch of her inner mouth. The taste was addicting to her, she felt desperate for more so her hands jerked you off even faster trying to milk every last drop of your cum.

As your ejaculation passed, Eunbi's mouth was filled to the brim with your sperm, some starts to drip down her lips. You pull your cock away watching her savour the taste of your cum in her mouth. Seeing that she's being watched Eunbi opened her mouth showing you that her tongue is playing around the pool of cum you've made in her mouth. “Drink them slut”, Eunbi closed her eyes as she swallow them, she can feel the thick concoctions travel down her throat leaving a warm sensation through her body. “Hhhnnnngggg”, A moan escaped her lips as her eyes rolled to the back of her skull. You glanced down to see that she's having another orgasm and starts to squirt all over the floor. “Fucking hell, did you got even more pent up ever since you meet me?” Eunbi heard your question but she was too preoccupied with her own orgasm to acknowledge it. As soon as her orgasm passes, her hands start to clean up the sperm down her chin and lick them up hungrily.

When she finishes that she looks at you hoping for more, like a good little slut that she is. “Spread your leg”, You start stroking your cock preparing it for the next round. Eunbi immediately spreads her leg, her hand can't stop from fingering herself seeing your cock is regaining it's might. “Tell me how much you want it”, Eunbi felt her body quiver hearing how demanding you're being. “Please, fuck me already”, She moaned, her hand continue fingering herself while the other is playing with her breast. “Come on, you can do better than that”, You move forward and runs your cock in between her fold, “Master, please give me your big girthy cock, I need you inside me”, Her eyes is looking st you desperately as her body react to your cock rubbing against her pussy.

Without any warning you suddenly plunge your cock deep inside her all the way to the base. The sudden intrusion made her body jerked back in response followed by a pained groan. Her walls tightening around you and enveloping your cock with her warmth. Her body shakes violently as loud cries escape her lips. You immediately took your boxer and shove it to her face to silence her down as she went through yet another orgasm. Eunbi bite down into it as she continue groaning, you didn't bother to let her have her orgasm peacefully and just start fucking her roughly. In Eunbi's mind her lies crumble down, she can't say she's doing all this for her own reputation when her body is screaming in ecstasy like this.

Eunbi throws away her moral dilemma, it doesn't matter anymore, the only thing that's important right now is you. She wants you, so what if you're her student and patient. “Fuck, you're still so tight after all those training I gave you?” You grunted as you continued pounding her, Eunbi felt happiness grow inside her seeing how much you're enjoying her body. “You're so big master, those toys can't compare to you. Fuck me harder, ruin me please”, She moaned before biting down on your boxers again. Her nose keeps inhaling your scent as she falls deeper and deeper into depravity. Your hand grabs her hips and starts to move her body as if she's just a sex doll. Eunbi feels so helpless in your arms and it excites her, she needs to stop herself from screaming from time to time.

Every time your hips crashed on to her you see the impact send a jiggle through her body. Her tits bounce up and down as you continue pounding her even harder. Eunbi who's lost in ecstasy suddenly woke up by the sudden pain on her tits as you slapped it hard. “Ahhhh, master”, She whined, but honestly, she loves it, “I know you like that slut”, And you know it too. Your hand slapped her other tits and she let out another moan. The two of you start to get even louder as every time you slap her Eunbi starts to lose her self control more and more. At one point she let out a loud groan so you grabbed her neck and choked her. “You need to quiet down slut”. At first it was frightening, the pain that suddenly attacked her neck, then she looked at your stern eyes and she couldn't help but to get turned on even more.

“I'm sorry”, She squeal out, but you didn't let go of her neck, in fact you strangle her even harder as you fuck her faster, your other hand move to slap her ass while. This whole thing was too much for, her tongue sticks out of her mouth as her eyes are just rolling to the back of her skull yet again. Her saliva starts to drip down your hand as you see her face start to turn pale. Seeing Eunbi so lost in her own ecstasy from the pain made you feel victorious, made you feel the need to place your flag on this hill. “I'm cumming slut”, Eunbi nodded as tears started to fall down her eyes from happiness. You thrust deep into her, her walls tightened around you, pulsating in a way to milk every last drop of your cum. The ejaculation closes your mind as your hand starts to strangle her for real this time, cutting off her windpipe. Eunbi grabbed into your hands as you let out a groan and unload your sperm inside her. The warmth in her stomach, the stinging pain in her ass and tits alongside the fear of death due to your strangulation send Eunbi to another orgasm. So what if you accidentally choke her out for too long, with all this stimulation she doesn't mind dying in ecstasy.

Thankfully you notice your hand gripping her neck too tight before she passes out. As soon as you let go of your hand Eunbi starts to breathe frantically, her face flushed red as oxygen finally starts to stream back to her brain. “Fuck, I'm sorry”, You said panting hard from the intense orgasm you just had. Eunbi just smiled at you as she coughed, “It's… fine…” It seems like you ruined her throat a little bit. Then you pull out your cock letting your sperm drip down her pussy, you look around her office before throwing some tissues to her. Eunbi who is already drained of energy tries her best to wipe the sperm that's flowing out of her pussy. Meanwhile you're busy cleaning yourself and dressing back up. As you finish sitting in front of her again, Eunbi sees that you're already dressed so she fixes her outfit again and sits up straight at her sofa.

“I'm sorry about that”, You started off, Eunbi doesn't really mind now, but she appreciates the gesture. “I know this relationship is a bad idea, especially since your reputation is on the line”, Eunbi also appreciates that you acknowledge the risk she's having, but she doesn't like where this conversation is going. “So I'll delete all those pictures and videos, we can pretend this, all those chats, let's just forget them and pretend it never happened”, Eunbi felt like a cold water just splashed over her. “Oh, right”, Pretend like this never happened, that's what she wants right? “I thank you for being a counsellor and therapist for me, but if you don't mind can you refer me to a different therapist. After all, this whole thing might affect our therapy session”, Now it felt like a block of ice just pressed on to her body. “I….-” You shake your head, “I say we pretend like this never happened, but there's no way we can loom each other as a normal therapist and patient after this. So please, refer me to another one”, Hearing how adamant you are with this made Eunbi feel deflated. “Of course”, She stutter out, “Then, can I ask for one last thing?” Eunbi nodded as she tried her best to hide her disappointment and sadness.

You leaned closer and kissed her, Eunbi felt her breath stop the moment her lips touch yours. Her body slumps down making you hold her by the shoulder so she wouldn't fall. Eunbi felt your tongue slither into her mouth, her tongue meekly following your lead as she was savouring the taste of your saliva. How does she know what your saliva tastes like? Don't think about it. “Haaaa, Haaaa, Haaaa”, Eunbi panted as you break off the kiss, she looked at you pleading for more. “Just a little souvenir for what we had”, You smile at her before leaving her alone in her office. Eunbi watches you leave, her body is screaming for her to jump and grab your back, to stop you from leaving, but she didn't, she just sat there silently. When you get to the door you look at her one last time, you see a glimmer of hope rise inside her, then you smile and get out of her office, leaving with the memory of her face filled with disappointment and longing. Hook. Line. Sinker.

Left alone in her office, Eunbi felt distraught, seeing you left just like that is just wrong. The moment you two had was short but she can't believe you will just forget it like that. The worst part is she thinks she knows you enough to understand that you're being genuine. The two sessions she had with you make her think you really just disconnected with people that you can just cut her off like that. The unending lust and depravity she has for PorkCrackling is slowly combining with the motherly care and genuine affection she had for you. No, she can't let you cut this off just like that. It doesn't matter if her reputation is on the line, she needs you. She needs your body, your dominance and your sex drive as your slave. She needs to guide you to open up to people, to let you share your burden and get past your traumatic broken household as your therapist. She needs to help you, as much as she needs you to help her.

PurpleBunny: Can we meet up tomorrow?

#kpop fanfic #kpop gg #kpop smut #izone eunbi #kwon eunbi #izone smut #eunbi smut #male reader

612 notes · View notes

hysteria-things · 4 months

Text

SNEAK AWAY (part two)

read part one here

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: nate x sls!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you and nate are still going strong, but a lot of fans notice a few things in the new video…

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: FLUFF, swearing

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 539

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: short and sweet!

chris fic tomorrow😌 (or tonight it depends when i start writing it)

y/nsturniolo

liked by madifilipowicz and 23,492 others

y/nsturniolo hawaii dump with my favorite people ever😌🌺☀️🏝️🩷

4,940 comments

nicolassturniolo yup yup yup

user you’re so pretty

↳ y/nsturniolo i love you🥹

↳ user HOLY SHIT HI QUEEN

nathandoe8 hey (with rizz)

↳ matthew.sturniolo what the hell

↳ user YIKES LMAOOO

↳ user praying for you nate🙏

madifilipowicz 🎉💕🌊

user what’s with all the nate pics🤨

↳ y/nsturniolo idk :/

user why do i ship her and nate🫣

↳ user THIS

↳ christophersturniolo no lol

“boys, please leave your sister alone.“ you hear your mother scold from outside of the bedroom door.

you guys got back from hawaii two days ago, but the triplets are staying in boston for an extra week before going back to LA.

“do not barge in there—” she scolds again, but it’s too late when the door swings open.

the three of them stand there panting, while marylou looks at them with her hands on her hips. it doesn’t end there; trevor comes running in and jumps on your bed.

his tail wags as he climbs onto your lap, leaving kisses on your face.

nick turns to her. “she’ll survive, mom.”

she sighs, walking out of your vision. your brothers stare at you like you’re in trouble. “we need to talk.” chris says, crossing his arms.

oh boy.

“about?”

they side eye each other. “you and nate.” matt says.

oh boy.

you clear your throat, trying not to barf everywhere. “w-what do you mean?”

“have you not seen the clips or comments?” chris asks, them now walking over to your bed and sitting. at this point, trevor has fallen asleep on your legs.

“no,” you answer, playing with the dog’s ears.

“girl.” nick tuts, pulling out his phone and tapping buttons before turning it to you. “look at this.”

you take his phone, scrolling through the comments on a tiktok.

thank GOD i’m not the only one who thought this

they HAVE to be hiding something they seem a little too close in this video😭

damn y’all detectives or something💀

imagine this is how nick, matt, and chris find out LMAOOOO

i always shipped them they seem so cute together :(

you stop scrolling the comments and watch the video. it’s a compilation of you and nate in the background.

one of the clips is when you guys were in the restaurant, and your chin rests on nate’s shoulder as the both of you look over something on his phone.

another clip is when you guys are walking, you and nate in the back of the group with his hand brushing against yours.

a few others show the way you two look at each other, eyes full of love and lust.

maybe you guys weren’t being as slick as you thought.

you hand nick’s phone back, nuzzling more into your blanket. “why didn’t you tell us?!” chris exclaims.

you shrug. “‘cause you’ll kill him.”

they roll their eyes. “we won’t kill him. we’ll threaten him.” nick clarifies.

as if that’s any better.

walking hand in hand, you and nate make way through the local park that's bare at this hour of the night. “so you’re telling me i should look out for threats?”

“yeah.” you smile, looking up at him before he gives you a sneak-attack kiss.

he sighs. “i’m kind of glad we don’t need to sneak away anymore. it got so depressing.”

you laugh, followed by an exhale. words cannot explain how much you love this kid. even though it was a hard launch to the public, you’re happy that you can show him off now. to make sure people know he’s yours and you’re his.

hopefully, no threats or killings take place by your overprotective siblings.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @mattsneezing @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @hearts4chris @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @mayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @txssvx @sttzee @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @matthewsspecial @sturnolio-luvs @sturniolho @suga-daddy-69 @tworosesblackthorn @luckistar-posts @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloslurps @tylerthecreatorsrealwife @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hertvgirl @whoreforchrissturniolo @r4iyaa @sturniolotriplettoplover @mattybswife @freshsturns @loverrsposts @saturncanyon @elliesturniolo1

512 notes · View notes

digitaldiarystuff · 6 months

Text

Misunderstood

summary: You and Jude go on a late night drive when he gives you a present and you freak out

pairing: Jude Bellingham x Y/N

genre: angst/ fluff

————

When Jude had to bail on your dinner date you were pretty bummed. You realized his schedule was hectic and you couldn’t meet everyday but tonight you put so much effort in your looks and felt sad. You didn’t even bother changing your dress and went straight to depression mode bringing out ice cream as dinner. You were halfway into the rom-com you were watching until your phone started buzzing.

“Hey baby.” you said a little sleepy.

“Hey love, are you at home?”

“Where else would I be Jude, of course I’m at home.” you sarcastically said.

“Okay then come out.”

“Are you here?” you exclaimed ecstatic about meeting your boyfriend. You missed him so much and desperately needed him to hold you.

“Yes Y/N just come out here.”

“But where are we going, all the restaurants are closed.” you said realizing it’s well past 2 a.m.

“Just come to me.” he said and hung up. Rude, you thought but the excitement to see him was too much that you grabbed your coat and skipped like a little girl to his car.

“I missed you so much.” you said as soon as you were seated and reached out to his side to hug him. He always brought comfort to you.

“Oh my god baby you look unreal.” he said as he’s eyeing you without shame. “And I’m here looking like a homeless man”

You chuckled “I don’t think homeless people wear Prada.”

“Some of them do, no seriously I saw one of them the other day full on rocking Givenchy.” he said and you felt all your stress lifting. Jude always made your mood go up immediately.

After that he reached for the back seat and grabbed some takeout.

“I know you skipped dinner so I brought you some.” he said and you smiled seeing how well he knew you.

“You’re the best.” you said as he started driving to a spot where you could overlook the city and eat in peace. Even though Jude’s career and his social life was a little much sometimes, these calm moments were your favorites. Just you two enjoying each other’s company with no distractions.

As soon as he pulled up, you grabbed the Chinese food from the packages and gave him his chopsticks. You ate and talked about your day and the things that bothered you since you were both drama queens. This was a fun conversation you had everyday, you told each other everyone who made you mad and gossiped about them.

“And then he said I should eat less because I gained 0.5% fat.”

“Oh no he didn’t.” you fake gasped and laughed. Jude was so extra sometimes.

You spoke for a few more minutes until you remembered something.

“Oh god, what am I even gonna get your mum for her birthday? What if I choose something hideous?” you panicked and Jude calmed you down saying how much his mum loves you and would love anything from you.

“But since we’re on the subject of presents.” he said and opened the console in front of you.

“I got you a little something.”

You noticed the blue bag immediately. It was Tiffany, and small. You felt your heart beating and started panicking. Your friends made some jokes about you being already married with Jude since your relationship was going on for 2 years and strong but you always avoided the subject. Coming from a broken household, with separated parents, you were always afraid of marriage from a young age. Jude knew that and respected your ideas though he always said he wanted to spend eternity with you.

But seeing a small box in a Tiffany bag has made you anxious, surely Jude wouldn’t propose to you right? You knew that but you couldn’t hide your horrified expression as his burrows furrowed.

“You don’t wanna open it?” he asked.

“Jude, what’s in the box?” you asked warily.

“Baby, open it and see.” he was confused about your reaction.

“Jude I need you to tell me what’s inside it. Please.” you begged getting more and more agitated.

“Y/N what’s going on? It’s just a gift, I saw it in the store and thought you’d love it.”

“What is it?”

“Y/N what are you so pressed about? This isn’t a complex situation, you grab the bag open it and thank me. Why are you acting weird love?”

When you said nothing, he snatched the bag from you and opened it himself.

“It’s just a fucking necklace, I’m not proposing to you.” he laughed a little trying to lighten the mood until he saw your face.

“Y/N I”

“I’m sorry Jude, I’m so sorry.” you started sobbing from guilt. You freaked out about nothing and have been rude to Jude. He immediately realized what’s going on and you could see his eyes fill with guilt as well.

“Baby, shh it’s okay. It’s not your fault I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“No no it’s my fault, I freaked out on you. I’m sorry, I’m just a weirdo who doesn’t appreciate you enough.” he held you against his body and helped you calm down. After your sniffles stopped he leaned back and held your cheeks to make you look up at him.

“Y/N you don’t owe me any explanation, I love you with all your weirdness and flaws just like you love me. I want to spend my life with you, you’re it for me with or without a big commitment and ceremony. I want you next to me but would never push you, I’ll always be with you.”

You smiled at him and realized you’re the luckiest girlfriend ever.

“Thank you Jude, for everything and for the record I want to spend my life with you too.”

He kissed you with love and you happily reciprocated.

“I can’t believe you thought I’d propose like this. You really don’t even know me at all.” he said looking offended and you giggled.

“Now let’s see this necklace, do you want to put it on me?” you said and turned your back to him as he pulled it and clasped the back. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry you’ve ever laid eyes on.

“But you do know me.”

“Of course I do.” he said and kissed your temple after seeing the pendant on your neck.

#football #football imagine #football oneshot #football one shot #football x you #football x y/n #football x reader #football blurb #football fluff #football angst #jude bellingham #jude bellingham x yn #jude bellingham x you #jude bellingham oneshot #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham fluff #jude bellingham angst

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writingsfromhome · 7 months

Text

If you Love Something

A/N: this has been an idea sitting in my drafts for a while. You and Harry had a brief but intense relationship as teenagers, were forced to make a serious decision then, and it’s aftereffects have lingered for the rest of your lives. It deals with some heavier topics so read with caution (alcoholism, depression, unwanted pregnancy etc). I’d describe it as sad but hopeful.

Part 2

—————————————

Age 17.

It started in secret. We’d found each other on the roof of a house party. Truth be told, I saw him sneak out of the window where people were crowded around the TV watching some controversial music video I hadn’t heard about. And I’d followed.

I knew who Harry was. Had him in English, Maths, and Biology last year. He was well spoken, thoughtful, and silly. I never spoke to him once though. Only admired him from afar.

Tonight I had my first drink and then another. I was feeling buzzed and despite being painfully shy for most of the time I’d known everyone here, I was suddenly gripped by the realization that we were approaching the last year we would all be together. Why had I waited this long to pursue someone I thought was cute?

I snuck out after him, when my friends weren’t looking. I even tilted the window more closed than usual so no one would suspect anything; I had the attic room at home so I knew how to maneuver the angled roof to get comfortable.

“You need any help?” Harry’s voice is clear in the silence.

“I’m alright.” I stand up to peer at him. He’s climbed near the top.

“Sure? You don’t seem steady.”

“Oh I’m steady,” I prove it to him by climbing up to where he was. “See?”

“I’m mistaken. My bad.” He holds out a hand to help me sit beside him and the night sky flashes brighter for an instant when I grasp his hand. My stomach is in knots.

“Harry. Styles.” I don’t know why I say his full name but I was nervous.

He repeats my full name back to me. I don’t know why I’m surprised he knows it. It’s not like we went to a big school.

“What brings you out here?”

I try to be bold about it, “You?”

“Party was getting too much.” He says. I stare at him in confusion while he complains about something his friends had gotten up to.

I replay my answer and realized it sounded like I’d skipped answering his question and asked the question back. Bugger.

“You know my name.” I interrupt him, forgetting he was telling me a story. Awkward.

“Yeah? Of course I do.”

“We’ve never talked.”

“We talked. Once in Maths. We had to grade each other’s answers.”

Oh yeah. I burn when I remember the 4/10 he’d given me with a smiley face saying that maths was masochistic.

“Barely.”

“I know you though,” he says with a softness that makes my heart stutter.

“Do you?” I look to him, resting my chin on my shoulder. He gazes down at me and I swear I could taste the colours around us.

His eyes draw me deeper as he inches closer. Was he going to kiss me? Oh my god.

I look back out to the roof and he jerks away. Omg.

“I do.”

“Oh,” I don’t know what to do after that awkward moment.

“I know you’re really quiet and shy but your smile is so loud you can see it from across the room.” He says and my breath catches as he continues. “You’re yourself with your friends, you really like Harry Potter and field hockey. You would kill Mal Adams if you could get away with it and you hate Maths just as much as you love art. You’re dating Oli Graves but your smile is only ever shining half as bright when you’re around him. Can I go on?”

I stop breathing completely halfway through his declaration of knowing me. All this time I had my eye on him, I didn’t know he was watching me too.

“I didn’t ask you for your opinion on my relationship.”

“You didn’t. I didn’t give you one either.”

I glare at him. He was right. He smiles knowing he was. I’m mad that I’m not mad at him. That he was right.

“What are you doing with a guy like that?”

Oli and I had been dating for 7 months now. He was loud and fun in a way I wish I could be. That’s why I liked him so much. That’s why I was at a party like this to begin with.

“He’s a good guy.”

“That’s all?” He asks. I look over but he’s looking up at the sky. I follow his gaze and get lost in the great expanse of nighttime.

“I think you deserve someone who sees you. Don’t you?”

“Did Ally see you?” I ask with a hint of aggression I didn’t mean to have.

“Ally and I broke up during Easter. So there’s your answer.” He’s unbothered.

“Well what do you want?” I ask.

“Right now? Or in life?”

I shrug. “Both?”

“I want to explore the world and meet all kinds of people. I wanna make the world a better place by being in it. It’s cheesy as shit so if you ever said I said this I’ll deny it and you’ll look like-“

“My lips are sealed.” I turn his way to promise him that. It makes me laugh at how serious he looks saying it all and when I do his face relaxes.

“You laugh is nice too. I forgot to mention that.”

That quiets me very quickly.

“And right now,” he continues. “I’d really like to kiss you.”

My ears ring. Did I hear him right? Could you get so drunk you hallucinate? I swear the cold air had sobered me-

“Did you hear what I said?” Harry’s moved in closer to me. Did I? I don’t know.

“What d-“

“I’d like to kiss you.”

I nod, afraid to talk and realize I’d hallucinated him saying that.

The world melts away when he kisses me. It’s tender, nothing like Oli and his jagged pushy kissing. In the nighttime air it’s warm, and soft, and easy.

“I know you,” Harry says when we part. I’d nearly climbed into his lap and I try to edge away, embarrassed, but he keeps a hand firm on my thigh.

“I know you too Harry,” I breathe. He smiles and it crinkles his luscious eyes.

I think I was falling.

***

We keep it a secret after I break up with Oli. For months, until mid-August when I invite him over for dinner after my mom insists on meeting “the boy I was all doe-eyed over”. The night with my family goes so well—Harry is the picture of a courteous gentleman that even my sister is swayed by him despite saying boys were gross. I ask him to hang out, in public, the next day. He doesn’t hesitate to say yes.

That’s what I love about Harry—yes love. He’s not pushy, he lets me go at my own pace. He respects me and sees me for everything I am and loves me anyway. I wanted to spend my whole life with him.

It was so intense and relaxed at the same time. It felt like no relationship I’d been in before. I felt different being with him, even my friends noticed.

When final year started, Harry and I were official but we didn’t flaunt it. We didn’t need to. My friends knew about us and they were happy for us, they told me I was more me. Whatever that meant.

Life was phenomenal and I was living in a dusky haze. Nothing could touch us.

Until one day in February. I was out with my sister, mum didn’t want to take her out and since I recently got my driver’s license with plenty of lessons from Harry, I was driving her to the mall. She needed Valentine’s Day cards.

“I thought you said love is stupid.” I remind her on the way.

“It is.”

“So why the hell am I driving you to buy cards for a made up holiday?”

“Because!” She crosses her arms and stares out the window. I flick her arm at a red light.

“You have a crush.”

“I do not!”

“Do too. Who is it? James? Mattie? Hamid?”

“Ew! They’re freaks.” My sister continues staring out the window.

“Why do you want to buy cards so bad!?”

“I just want them! For my friends!”

“Okay then,” I didn’t believe her. But I couldn’t bring her home crying or mum would ground me.

A lot of places have slim pickings. Wandering the aisle of Waterstones I catch sight of a family friend. She was my dad’s uni friend’s daughter, a few years older than me but by the time I got to secondary she had dropped out after getting pregnant. I remember the buzz when everyone found out.

I avoid her and find an aisle to occupy myself.

Harry and I were always careful, mum had already given me the talk and he never pressured me to do anything I didn’t. I imagine Harry as a dad. He would make a good one I think.

As one thought leads to another I go cold as I realize something. My last period was during the holidays.

I feel like I’m walking in a swarm of locusts as I walk to the edge of the aisle, scanning for my sister. Maybe I can pop into a pharmacy before she’s done. Maybe…

This was crazy. It was probably just a missed period.

But if it isn’t, another voice asks. I felt it in my gut. I had to do this.

I don’t remember getting home. I don’t remember anything about the rest of that day except two faint lines, and then two faint lines again, and a third time. I fall asleep before dinner that night and shut the world out.

***

“I know something’s wrong.” Harry’s walking me home after school. It’s Valentine’s Day and he’d been nothing but sweet. He bought me chocolates, flowers, and we planned to cook dinner together after school. I had bought him chocolates too, and had written him a heartfelt note with a bunch of photos of us weeks ago. The box was in my room, waiting for tonight. “Do you not like the flowers? Or is it dinner? We can go out somewhere instead?”

“No everything’s lovely.” I’d never heard Harry this desperate before. It gets under my skin even though part of me knows that’s not really it. But having him hover over me all week trying to figure out what was wrong was too much.

I’d spent every night this week with a hand over my belly. Thinking about it. I hadn’t told anyone. I didn’t know what I wanted to do. All I can think of was Jenny and I didn’t want that life. I couldn’t. I couldn’t be a mother.

“Please. What’s the matter.” Harry asks again, tugging at my hands but I pull them away.

“I just need some space!” I shout and he flinches. “I’m sorry Harry. I just need space right now.”

“Right now like…” he scratches his head. “I don’t get you. It’s Valentine’s Day, we’ve been talking about this day for weeks what do you mean you want space?”

“I can’t do this right now. Please.”

“Are you-are we…”

“I’m not breaking up with you.” I look at Harry with tears in my eyes, I didn’t want to cry out here. But every time I look at him I remember the reality. What’s growing inside me. I can’t take it. “I just can’t do today.”

I go inside my house. Leave him without further explanation. I feel awful, I can’t hold the tears in long enough to get to my room.

***

“Hey love?” My mum and dad knock on my door at half past 5. I lay in the dark, having cried myself dry. “We’re worried about you. Can we talk.”

“I can’t.” I say, voice stuffy.

“I thought you and that boyfriend of yours had plans,” dad says. He liked Harry but he rarely called him by his name. “Did something happen?”

“No!” I wanted them to leave me alone. “I just. I had to cancel. I’m fine.”

“Don’t sound fine to me love,” I feel the mattress dip as mum sits down. Dad strokes my hair. They whisper something I can’t hear and a pair of footsteps pad out of my room.

“Mum just leave me alone.” I try again.

“I’m not.” She pushes me further into my bed and leans down, tugging my blanket down. When I finally look at her she smiles kindly and kisses my forehead. That fills me up enough to start wailing again. “Oh love, what’s wrong?”

“Everything!” I sob into my blanket. Mom lays down beside me and I let myself be cradled like a child. God, I had a child. This was so fucked.

“Talk to me. We can figure it out together.”

I don’t know how my parents would react. They were never particularly strict, especially after what happened with Jenny I remember them always being sympathetic. We even visited her in hospital with a gift.

Mum strokes my hair and whispers that it’ll be okay. Slowly my sobbing eases into light sniffles. I had to tell her. She would know what to do. And if she hated me for it, I would just have to deal with it.

“Mum don’t be mad-“

“I won’t honey I-“

“No. Mum.” I cut her off. She moves back on the pillow so she can see my whole face, moving a strand of hair so I couldn’t hide. “Something…messed up. Happened. And…I was careful. We were always careful I don’t know what happened but I-“

I watch her face changed. Like she knew. She knew what was coming but she waits patiently as I muster up the courage to say the words that felt too real once I said them.

“Mum I’m…I’m pregnant.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip. What was she thinking? Was she crying for me or with me? Why wasn’t she saying anything!?

“Mum-“

“C’mere.” She wraps me in her embrace again and kisses the top of my head. My body feels drained and limp. I finally told somebody. It was real. This living thing inside of me was real.

“What happened?” She asks next. And I tell her what I think happened. When. How I found out. She listens, holding my hand in hers. When I’m done and it’s poured out of me she smiles supportively. “This isn’t a bad thing okay? It’s okay. Any decision you make is up to you. I’ll talk to your dad but just know you call the shots okay? I love you.”

This is what carries me. The love.

She asks me it I told Harry yet and I tell her the truth. She urges me to tell him. I tell her I wanted to so bad but I was scared.

She leaves shortly after that, I hear her talking softly outside my room. Nobody calls me for dinner until 7, a soft knock on my door. My sister would never be so soft, I assume it’s dad so I tell him to come in. I was scared to face him.

It’s Harry instead.

“Harry!” I cover my splotchy face with my blanket, why was he here? Did mum invite him? This was soo embarrassing.

My heart pounds and Harry is silent until he takes a seat where mum had previously been.

“I came over, your mum invited me. She explained.”

She did what? For a moment I feel betrayed.

“She said you weren’t doing so well. Stressed? I could make you some tea if you’d like. But I told you y/n, you’ll get into unis. You don’t have to worry so…”

I sigh. Mum had told him a half-truth. But he had come. Of course he had.

I couldn’t even think about uni right now because that lead me down a road of what if I couldn’t go because I had a baby. And that life felt so bleak it made me depressed.

“Harry.” I inch my blanket down a little and his eyes go round when he looks at me.

“You look…awful.”

“I know.” I cover my face with my hair but he brushes it away and kisses my forehead.

“No. I’m worried about you. I brought dinner-“

“Oh Harry.” I spot the bag he brought with him.

“I made it all for us. With my mum’s help but mostly me. I packed it to bring to you.”

I didn’t deserve him. And I had to tell him. And he was going to break up with me. What high school boy wanted a child?

“Harry it’s not uni.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I was carrying another living thing. It was the size of a seed but I was carrying it inside me. Like a living breathing pot. I was a potted plant.

“Then what is it?” His brows crinkle. “Is it us?”

“No!” I rush to tell him. “I…I don’t know how to say this. And I don’t know how you’re going to react but it’s okay either way.”

“What are you talking about?” His hands slide up my lap. “What is it?”

“Harry. I’m um, I’m pregnant.”

I watch him freeze and stay exactly how he is, his brows pinch ever so slightly. I knew this look. He looked still on the outside but his mind was racing. And I was scared what was racing through it.

“Pregnant?”

“Yeah. From…the holidays.”

“How did-I thought we-“

“I guess it’s not foolproof.” I whisper. Mum had told me to go on the pill, and I hadn’t listened because all my friends told me it made them gain weight. If only I had listened. Now I was gaining weight anyway.

“What are we going to do?” He asks next. And I never realized six little words could weigh the world. If I could cut those words out and surgically implant them into my heart I would. Just to remind me the equal parts relieved and comforted they made me.

I hold his face in my hands, new tears springing to my eyes. He was in this. With me.

He kisses me and pulls me into a hug. I cry into his shirt again and he holds me so tight I swear I could break.

“I don’t know if I can keep it Harry,” I finally whisper to him.

His hands fist in my shirt, he holds his breath and after a long minute he lets me go with it.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Was he really okay with all this?

“It’s…I can’t make you keep it.”

“You’d want to keep it?” I couldn’t believe it.

“It’s…” he swallows his sentence and keeps his gaze on my stomach. I tug his hand and lay it over it. When his eyes meet mine I see a hint of heartbreak. We were going to break our hearts either way I think.

Not once did I think he might want to keep it.

“It’s okay.” Harry finally says. “We’re so young right? How would we keep a baby and go to school, and do everything we always talk about?”

“Yeah I don’t…I don’t know.”

“I love you.” He says with such a sudden passion. I wrap my arms around his and return the sentiment.

Eventually we lay down and just talk about everything. Truthfully, my head was telling me not to keep the baby but everything else felt dead thinking about it.

Maybe that’s why it took me until April to finally make a decision. It was the size of a plum by then, and a tiny bump was starting to show but only when I stood naked in front of the mirror. With clothes on, nobody was the wiser. But the longer I kept it, I think the more Harry fell in love with it. The idea of it.

We have a long talk during our Easter holiday. We talked in my bedroom until the sun comes up. I tell him I was sure of my decision.

I’d gotten accepted to Cambridge by then. Harry was staying in London. We knew it wasn’t feasible. To live the life we always wanted, we had to get rid of this new life we never knew could happen.

I don’t know why but I don’t tell him the day I go to do it. I go with my mum. Mum drops my sister off at school—she didn’t know. Mum said she had a big mouth.

We drive in silence. When we park mum asks how I feel.

“Sad.” It was the truth. I knew this was right. But it felt like shite.

“Yeah.” She rubs my hands. “Want to go in?”

“I just want to sit here for a bit.” I tell her.

“Okay. I’ll go sign you in.”

She takes my purse and hers and leaves me there. I take the moment to ground myself. Say goodbye to the other future.

When mum knocks on my window I jump.

“Yn? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah yeah I’m coming in.” I open the door.

“You know you’ve been sitting here half hour?”

I pause, one leg out the door and one still in. “I…I must have got lost in my head. Sorry mum-“

“Look. Do you want to do this?”

“I don’t know…I have to.”

“There are other options love-“

“But how can I give it up and live my whole life like that?”

“We can help raise her. You can go on and live your life-“

“I’d be a horrible mother.” Mum and I had this row so many times before. It always ended in me storming away but I couldn’t here.

“You don’t need to make the decision today.”

“But I do.” I tell her. “Otherwise it’ll drive me insane.”

I tuck both feet back into the car and rest my hand on my belly. I’d allowed myself to do that only in my room, when I was alone. Doing it out here made it feel even more real. Suddenly I couldn’t imagine going through with the decision.

“I can’t do this.” I tell my mum.

She smooths my hair down and kisses my temple. My door closes and a few seconds later she climbs in beside me.

“Think about it.”

“I can’t. But I can’t keep it either.”

“Okay.” Mum pulls me into her and I think I should cry but I can’t. I’m calm, maybe I know I’d made the right decision. Or just a decision. I was going to stick to this.

“I can’t raise it. I’m just a child I…maybe someone out there wants a baby and can’t have one maybe-“

“I’ll look into it for you.” Mum promises. “You set the rules remember?”

And that’s how it goes. Mum looks into it, we decide to go for adoption. We go to the hospital on the first warm day of the year. By then I’d taken to wearing jumpers over flowy dresses and been thankful for the first time in my life that I wasn’t skinny like other girls. At most angles you couldn’t tell my belly was so perfectly round.

By then too, Harry had accepted the decision. He seemed relieved. Thinking aloud he’d said maybe he could raise it, but quickly turned around when I asked him what he’d do about uni.

“Someone out there can take care of it better than us. Someone will love the baby like we do.”

During the summer, I tell all my friends I was staying with family in midlands. And I do go up there, that’s where the couple who was adopting lived. Harry and I meet them with my mum and his. It’s awkward, we run out of conversation fast. But their house is big and they already have a 2 year old from an adoption last year. My baby was going to be loved here. And have a sibling.

“We did want to discuss one last thing,” they’d said before we left. We all listen intently. “We…find it best when it’s a no contact adoption. We’ve had a lot of friends who keep contact open and it gets messy-“

“What?” I hadn’t really thought about this until now. Hearing I’d have to give the baby up and go on like it didn’t exist felt wrong. Harry’s hand slips into mine.

“This is typical,” Harry’s mum says from his side. ��Let’s hear it out.”

“Right. So just to prevent future complications, we do no contact. Of course when baby’s older and wants to seek out the real parents we can’t stop them. But until then…”

“Thank you.” My mum steps in when it goes silent. I could hardly wrap my head around what they were saying. When it gets older?

Pretty soon mum is ushering me out and Harry’s hand is still clutching mine. We don’t let go until we reach my Uncle’s where we were staying until August. The baby was due in September. I was going to miss the first week of class.

“I can’t do this.” I tell them later. “How can we just have no contact.”

“I thought you knew.” Mum says. “I explained that some parents want this when they adopt.”

She might have. Ever since I hit the third trimester like my doctor said, I’ve had a hard time listening and understanding what someone was saying after they spoke too long. I was glad school was done—for obvious reasons, but also for not having to sit in a class and learn.

“We have no other choice.” Harry says from beside me. He rubs my back and slowly, I zone back into the conversation. “We can find another family but they might want the same thing.”

“What if the baby never looks for us?” I turn to him, our heads press against the other’s. “What if we go our whole lives just wondering?”

“What’s the other option?” Harry whispers. He was right. I just didn’t want to get it.

Acceptance slowly creeps into me over the course of the summer. It was always hot carrying another person around, I was always hungry and thirsty, and very cranky. Harry came up to see me every other weekend when he could, mum stayed with me and that summer was one I could never forget.

It was September 1st, a particularly hot day. Rain fell in the afternoon and by the time the unforgiving sun set, the cool air was heavenly.

I sat by the bedroom window, moisturizing my belly like mum had shown me, talking to the baby. I wrote it a letter last week all about me, that I loved them and hoped the best for them. I told the baby about my family, how Harry and I met, and then I sealed it in an envelope with a picture of Harry and me. It was taken last Halloween when we’d both dressed up as each other. I tell mum to give it to the new parents. In case the day came the baby wondered about who we were.

As I spoke softly, I felt a gush of something wet down my leg.

“What?” I stand up, confused. “I…”

It takes me a second. I was going into labour.

“Mum!” I shout. “Mum! Come here!”

She rushes in and confirms it. It was happening.

“But it’s supposed to be next week!” I try not to panic but that’s all I can do as mum grabs our things and my aunt rushes to the car. “Does this mean something’s wrong? Is the baby o-“

I freeze as a contraction forces me to fold. I’d felt the kicking and the nausea and everything in between but these. These were a bitch.

Somehow we make it to hospital. Somehow I lay on a bed and push when the doctor tells me to. I nearly pass out. I just wanted Harry here with me. He didn’t know his kid was being born.

With a final push that felt like I was ascending my body and leaving it behind, I hear a wail and I cry. The baby was out, they cried and everything was okay.

“Okay congratulations mummy,” a nurse crouches down to me. “We’re going to clean you and baby up. She’s healthy and looks okay.”

“What?” I can barely see with my hair in my face and the nurses around me. It was a she? I had a baby girl?

We were never told the gender, so we wouldn’t get attached. But I had a baby girl. The nurse just called me mum.

I feel the tears on my cheeks, I was crying too. I try to look around me but a new nurse is talking in hushed voices to the doctor.

“…outside…call…adoption…shouldn’t or….contact-“

“What’s going on?” I can barely get the words out. “What?”

“Oh my love,” suddenly mum’s in the room and things are a bit better. A bit better.

“Mum what’s going on?”

“The baby’s born. The parents are outside they’re going to meet her soon.”

“What?” I look at mum’s face and it’s shining with tears. Why was she crying?

“Oh she’s beautiful love, she’s perfect. But your job’s done now. You should rest.”

“Mum,” I cry. “Where is she? Can’t I hold her?”

“No love,” mum moves my hair out of my face. I feel something break in half inside of me. I couldn’t even hold the baby? The baby girl? Mine and Harry’s baby girl?

“Why? Mum why? I just want to see her-“

“I’m sorry,” mum says through tears. “It’s just the way it is. She’s going to a loving home okay? She’s good. You’re okay.”

I can’t stop crying. I was going to lose her last April and I stopped that but I lost her anyway. My baby, I was never going to see her.

I remember when my sister was born. I was 5 and I was angry she’d taken the attention away. But when I saw her with her perfect toes and angel face I was obsessed with her. I even remember her first steps, she’d taken them at a park with mum and dad and me together. I was never going to know these things about my own baby. I was never going to know her.

I must pass out soon after. I remember waking up to the nurses instructing me about something. I’m half asleep and barely remember what I did when I get up. When I do wake it’s morning and there’s a figure on the chair beside me.

“You’re up.”

Harry. Relief washes over me knowing he’s here.

“Harry they took her,” I tell him.

“I know. I know yn.”

I move aside and he crawls into bed with me. I must look disgusting but he watches me with love brimming in his eyes. I can tell he’s been crying.

“I feel empty,” I whisper. Like someone had carved me out like a pumpkin. Something I’d had with me all year was gone. “How can I just move on? Start uni and all that when I…they just took her.”

“I keep thinking that.” Harry says. “Khalil invited me to a party to meet some blokes from uni and I just sat in my car the whole time. I couldn’t even go in. She…she was never going to be ours.”

“I feel awful.” I burrow into his neck as he strokes my hair. “A baby girl.”

“A baby girl,” Harry echoes.

***

I head to uni a week later. My body still feels like it fought a war and lost. It’s like it still thinks there’s a baby there. I produce milk for a few days, continue to have contractions, my belly is saggier than usual and I can’t stop crying about everything.

My dad drops me off to uni. He tells me he was proud of me, that I was always his baby girl. I cry then just like I cried at home when I said bye to mum, or when my sister hugged me which she never does. I can’t stop crying.

When I move into my dorm I feel like a completely different person than I thought I was going to be. My dormmate fills me in on everything she’s learned, complains about a boy and a party and it just feels so irrelevant to me. Did I used to care about those things? I had a baby. And now I didn’t.

By October, Harry and I are in different worlds. We hadn’t broken up but we talk weekly. Each week there’s less to talk about. When I visit home in October, being around him just makes me sad. He tries to cheer me up, make it like old times, but I know he’s hurting inside too.

I decide to do the breaking up. And at first he’s angry, insisting we could make it work. He actually refuses and walks away. We don’t talk for a whole day.

But at a house party in South where his uni mates were from, he accepts the end.

Through tears we kiss each other one final time, we whisper sweet nothings, we pour into each other all the hopes and wishes we had for each other.

When he hugs me for the last time I leave something behind. It’s similar to waking up the morning after my delivery and knowing something was gone. I really feel the shape of the loss. It sits in my sternum, a hole that grows smaller with time, but not just yet.

I fall into a depressed state for most of my first semester but my dormmate doesn’t give up on me and eventually I go to my first uni party. Eventually my brain fog clears and I actually go to all my classes. Eventually my life, on the outside, looks like it could be back to normal but inside I ache with the loss. So much that it becomes part of me. I don’t know where it ends, and I begin. It lives in me.

Age 23.

“The first of many hey?” Mal clinks his bottle to mine. I barely knew Mal but we were both friends with Khalil and therefore both at his stag.

“Before you know it we’re all going down,” one of Khalil’s friends joins in. “Stag after stag, suit after suit, it’s gonna be a blur man.”

“Let’s enjoy it while we can!” Someone cheers and everyone raises their beers. I toast with a smile; blokes loved to act like being in a relationship was the last thing they wanted when I knew most of them were mush in their girlfriend’s hands.

I also smile knowing I bought an engagement ring a few weeks back. I wanted to propose to Shannon, we met on her 22 when a friend invited me along. I couldn’t keep my eyes off the birthday girl. We’d been together since.

“Who do you think’s next?” The bets start going and nobody bets on me. Everyone always thought Shan was too good for me, they were counting on us breaking up. I was going to prove them all wrong.

The night gets sloppier until we all head back to the air bnb we’d rented for this. Tomorrow we were all supposed to go play golf like we were cosplaying old money bastards when we all knew we were just broke blokes from East. But I guaranteed they’d all be too hungover. We would get to the club and just drink the hangovers away.

And I’m right. I update Shan that I’m right when the boys stay in the dining area of the club. They decide on lunch and I step out to talk to my girlfriend.

“No birds allowed this weekend,” someone pipes in when I excuse myself.

“That’s just cuz you’re miserable Eli.” I brush past as the boys laugh. At me. And him.

I catch up with Shan. It was a bright day for September and I stay a little longer after the phone ends. Shan was in med school, she was always stressed or sleep deprived. I tried to support her the best I could—right now she needed moral support that she was going to get an internship she was applying for.

“Mummy doesn’t like when I have sweets,” a small voice says to my left. I look at a father with his daughter. He’s crouched down zipping her sweater up while she rambles on.

“Well it’s going to be our secret.” The dad says. “Sundays are for sweets aren’t they?”

“I love sweets.” She responds.

The father catches my eye and I shoot him a smile.

“Her mum’s going to hear every detail when we get home,” he says as he stands. “Can’t keep a secret to save her life.”

I laugh. The way she was rambling on, I didn’t think so. “How old’s she?”

“6.” He says, smiling down at her fondly. My heart aches.

“Almost 7.” She corrects her dad.

“Birthday’s in the spring.” He says more to me. “But almost 7 sure.”

I see them leave with one more shared smile, like we’re in on something. I imagine that’s how it would feel to be a parent. Always knowing something your kid doesn’t.

My daughter was 6. Wherever she was.

Thinking about the daughter I never had, the girl I lost always leaves me a little winded. Today’s no different.

Yn and I both made an agreement and it had been the hardest thing I’d done. Letting her go. It took me a proper year to even think about moving on.

I liked to think about yn, doing everything she wanted to do. But when I thought about the baby I spiralled into a dark pit. Sometimes when I drank too much, it pulled me in too deep to get out of. That’s what Shan liked to call my depressive drinking. She’s limited me to 3 drinks since.

Before I go in I take a minute to think about yn, where she might be. I hear from friends in high school random facts about her life. But I wonder how she’s doing. If she thinks about our baby like I do. How life would have been if I’d been here, calling her on the phone instead, asking if our baby girl was doing alright.

Age 29.

I stare at the nape of the man in front of me. It couldn’t be, but I’d memorized the back of his head—amongst other things, nearly 2 decades ago and I would bet £1000 I knew who this was. But I continue staring until the cashier rings him up.

In the same voice I remember, the one from my memories and my fantasies, I hear him say: “debit.”

I wait for him to pay before saying, “Harry?”

He turns so quickly he drops his card, wallet, and keys.

“Hi!” I laugh awkwardly and crouch down to help him pick his things up. There’s an awareness that the people in the queue behind me are witness to a moment that feels more intimate than a grocery store chat and it makes me shrink a little in my shell like a spooked turtle.

“Hi I-uh,” Harry short-circuits in front of me as the bored cashier holds his receipt out and stares at him with eyes that have worked one shift too many.

“I’ll just bag-“

“Yeah we can talk later.” I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile but it feels watery. I couldn’t believe of all the places I’d run into him, it was a grocery queue. How intense in such a mundane place.

As I watch my total rise on screen I risk a glance at Harry. His hand hovers over a white reusable bag, I wonder if that was his. Or his wife’s. If they did their weekly shop in a mismatch of bags that looked like that or they were the type of couple to have a set.

His eyes are on me though, somehow here and not here. I feel the same way.

I look back to the cashier asking me how I was paying. She glances between Harry and I. I don’t look back at him. Or the growing queue a few feet away.

I take my groceries—just some items my mum asked me to pick up, and stuff them into the tote I’m wearing. Harry waits for me by the exit.

“Hi.” He says as his eyes scan my face. I do the same, taking in all the ways time had spent with him. It must have been good—he looked good. “I can’t believe-“

“A Whole Foods of all places.” I laugh. A grin splits his face but his eyes stay on me.

“That smile, that laugh. God I’ve missed you.”

“I…missed you too.” How I could miss someone I’d known for one year and then never again for nearly two decades…I didn’t realize it was possible until now.

“Are you busy?” He asks. “Maybe we can grab a drink or?”

“I don’t…drink.” I hated that I had to announce it to people. I was still at the stage where I was figuring out how to say it confidently, or find a way around saying it.

“Oh.” Harry glances down at my belly and I realize he’d misunderstood but it’s too unspoken to correct him. “Cafe?”

“Yeah. That sounds lovely.” Honestly going anywhere with him sounded lovely right now. I wanted to cancel all my plans for the day and just sit with him. Stare at him and catch up. I couldn’t believe he was here.

We walk in a comfortable but waiting silence, like taking a cold drink out to a park with the anticipation it’s going to be good , and no desperation to open it as soon as you get it.

“Usual? Tea?” Harry asks when we step into a nearby cafe. It’s big for a cafe but has enough students working on laptops to not feel empty. I nod, unsure how to feel that Harry still knows what I order at a cafe. Or that my order hasn’t changed since 17.

I find us a booth and pretty soon he’s sliding into the seat across from me. The two of us can’t stop smiling.

“Hi,” he says again.

“Hi…”

“You look good, the same but better.”

“I was going to say the same thing about you!” I exclaim. More smiling.

“How’s…I mean, how are you? How is everything? What-“

“There’s so much to ask-“

“I don’t even know how to ask what I want to know!” Harry laughs and I’m warmed from the inside out at the sound of it.

“This shouldn’t be hard!”

“No.” He scrubs his face. “I’m really buzzing that we’ve run into each other.”

“Me too. It’s a bit unbelievable.”

“I know.” He continues gripping his cup and not taking his eyes off of me. It’s the exact way he used to look at me when we were teenagers. It nearly takes my breath away. “You look good—but I already said that. Sorry.”

“No,” I laugh. “That’s all that’s running through my head.”

“Oh—I remember hearing you were engaged a few years ago-“

“Yeah.” I turn my hand so he can see the ring. “Married now. You?”

“Yeah,” he looks down at his own hand. He had so many rings on I couldn’t tell from a glance. “Coming up to 5 years now.”

“Wow. It’s only 1.5 for me but Tatum and I—my husband, we’d been since uni.”

“Took him a while.”

“Mhm,” it had been a sore subject way back then. Harry says it casually but he studies my face. I know he wants to ask more but he’ll politely maneuver around it.

“Are you happy?”

I let out a breath. “That’s more complicated than anything else you could ask!”

“Is it?”

“Yeah I-“ I shrug. “I don’t know if I am. But I also have no idea what I could do about it. So. There’s that.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” My stomach curdles with his words. I didn’t want pity, least of all from Harry. Harry. I can’t believe he was here. “I get it though. Everyone says your 30s are even more glorious than your 20s. We’ll see soon enough if they’re right.”

I meet his eye, they always intimidated me to look too long into. Even now, I glance back down at my drink. When I look up again he has a wry smile twisting his lips. He knew.

I was sorry to hear life hadn’t been as good for him. And then I understand, it wasn’t pity he was giving me. He truly was sorry like I.

I thought about Harry often. Of course I did. I liked to imagine him living out his dreams like he always talked about. I liked to imagine him happy and thriving.

“Do you ever think about us?” I have to ask. “If we did it all differently?”

“We would have had a 12 year old with us.”

Hearing him say it feels like someone had taken a screwdriver and opened me up. Raw and exposed. But looking at him I know he thought about her as much as I had. Both of us were apparently mourning a future neither of us had fought for.

“Yeah,” I breathe but I just sound winded.

“We were trying, at one point—Shan and I.” Harry fiddles with his ring. “Did all the tests and the trials and the shite. But no kids. It put a real strain on my relationship. I think we cracked instead of bending. And I don’t think either of us know how to make it right again.”

I grasp his hand and squeeze. “I know what that’s like. It’s hard. I…a couple years ago. I lost a baby. A baby boy. I felt like it was a punishment for-“

“Don’t.”

We hold onto each other, our drinks long forgotten. He holds my hand and it feels like being known again, like I wasn’t such an awful person. That someone could see everything I’ve done and still choose to have love for me.

“I’m sorry.” He tells me.

“Me too.” I bite my lip. With a sigh I let him go and lean back. Here we’d been so excited to bump into each other but we’d both been carrying sorrow and grief. It wasn’t very hopeful.

“So I guess you’re not drinking because you’re-“

“No.” I say, surprisingly without feeling awkward. “I’m just sober right now. Trying to figure out life without a drink.”

“Sounds like torture but I respect that. Sounds hard.”

“It was at first. I like the feeling now of thinking clearly. But I miss a glass of wine I do sometimes.”

We smile at each other.

“So do you live around here?” Harry broaches talking again after both of us had lapsed into silence for a while. I blink away the fog of the past.

“Yeah. You?”

“Nah. Shan’s out of town and I was feeling lonely. Came over to visit my sister. I’m just staying with her for the week.”

“Lucky me then.” I smile.

“Lucky me too.” He smiles back. It’s soft. We’re soft. It felt impossible to me after all this time the tenderness was still the strongest thing between us.

We chat a bit more, much about nothing. What we did for a job, anyone we still kept in touch with from school. Nothing that meant a lot.

“I need to head off now,” I say when my phone buzzes for a second time. “I was on my way to my mum’s. She keeps calling me.”

“Yeah. Don’t want to keep you.” Harry says but he stays seated. So do I.

We continue just studying the other until my phone rings again and I laugh. “It was…I really loved seeing you.”

I slide out and Harry mirrors me. I still come to his chest, he still smells the same and stands the same and looks just as handsome.

“How about uhm, how about dinner some time?” Harry asks. I knew it was coming, it’s still painful saying no.

“I…can’t. I…we can’t just do dinner, can we?”

“No,” Harry bows his head. We had too much history to just do dinner. From what he said—and I knew, both our lives were too complicated to add the allure of each other into the mix. I couldn’t do that to my life as tempted as I was. Especially not sober.

“Yeah.” He stands straight again and gives me space to head to the door. “Good seeing you. Give your mum my best if she doesn’t hate me.”

“She doesn’t.” I assure him. We stand awkwardly not sure if a kiss, a hug, or a wave was appropriate. We settle for a hug.

I remember the last time I was enveloped in his arms, tucked away into his tall frame. When we said goodbye forever, agreed to live our best lives separately. We’d both been too scarred to be anything together. Too much grief.

“Maybe we’ll run into each other again.” Harry smiles at me when we part.

“Maybe,” I say knowing full well I wouldn’t do groceries on the weekend anymore.

With a final wave we both part ways again, this time it doesn’t feel as much like closure.

Age 35.

“Graduation’s graduating, what a mouthful.” I say to Andie. We sit in the parking lot of a local pub back home. Both of us had avoided reunions after going to the first one 10 years ago and being reminded of how much people liked to remind you of who you used to be. But this year Andie found out an old flame was going and single. And this is the first year I saw that Harry had checked off going. So we’d decided to go together.

I could have easily reached out to him. Asked him about meeting up there. But I didn’t want to come across any way. I remember our run-in 6 years ago. We felt the same way—we would do anything for each other, and I didn’t want any affect over him coming. Last I heard he was still in a relationship. Just cuz I was didn’t mean I had to ruin another.

“Okay. We going in?” Andie passes me her flask.

I’d taken to drinking again. Originally I stopped after a particularly bad night when I was 28. It nearly cost me my wedding back then.

I stopped to get sober. To feel what it felt like not to rely on alcohol to keep from feeling my emotions. I had a lot of grief I never processed. And unfortunately being sober, and processing the grief and depression, had ultimately cost me my marriage. But I was better for it. I knew what unconditional love and support was. I didn’t want to settle for someone who only loved me at my best.

Now I felt in control when I drank. I knew when to stop.

“Let’s go!”

“Do you think he’ll remember me?” Andie asks as we walk up to the place.

“You comment on so many of his posts. I think he does.” I tease.

“Gah. It would have saved me so much heartbreak if I just told him back 18 years ago how I felt.”

“Maybe,” I think about my confessed love 18 years ago and the heartbreak that ensued.

“Well at least I would have gotten him outta my system. Oh god I see him-“

“Hi ladies,” we’re stopped near the front and given name tags, making small talk with the girls working the booth. I vaguely remember them from a club but I have to read their name tags to pretend I remembered them at all.

Andie ditches me pretty quickly but I don’t mind. I find some friends I saw a couple times a year. Guess this was the couple time this year.

The whole time my eyes scan the room. People had brought their partners and I wondered if Harry would do the same. Deep down, I prayed he didn’t. I just wanted to see him.

I spot him halfway through the night. He’s leaning against the bar talking to Khalil. I remembered they used to be friends, he was always nice to me while Harry and I dated.

I watch him talk and drink. I lose him for a bit and then catch him leaving. Shite.

I excuse myself and rush out but nearly trip over myself slowing down. He was just outside for a smoke break.

“When did that habit start?” I ask. He nearly jumps out of his skin.

“Fu-y/n you scared me.” He shakes his face dramatically, like he’s getting something off of it. I bite back a smile, he was pretty drunk. “When did you get here? I didn’t know you came to these things?”

“I don’t.” I correct him. I couldn’t tell him I came for him. “It was just the name of this reunion, Graduation’s graduating. How could I pass it up?”

This earns a laugh. Eases the air between us. “Did you see Oli in there? He’s gotten bald.”

“He looks like his dad actually,” I remember his dad was always coming to Oli’s football matches, screaming at his son to run faster.

“Glad you didn’t end up with him?” Harry smirks.

“Oh yeah. I heard last reunion he just kept going up for the karaoke sober. If I want my bloke to embarrass me, at least give him the excuse of being drunk.”

“Shit,” Harry laughs. “I remember that! I remember! Wish I could forget!”

I laugh with him. “Harry you’re getting pretty close to drunk yourself.”

“Ah yeah. More than 3 drinks that, I’m being naughty tonight.”

I scrunch my nose, no idea what he’s talking about.

“I can’t believe you’re here tonight,” Harry says again. “I thought I wasn’t going to see you again for another 12 years after our last time.”

“Thought I’d halve the time.” I watch Harry squash out the butt.

“Glad you did.” He looks at me and I’m 17 again. Why couldn’t we both be single? Why did I come here knowing I couldn’t have him.

Maybe I was as masochistic as the person who invented maths.

“Yn?” A voice calls out to me. “Oi! It is you I thought I was dreaming you up! What a sight!”

I’d been avoiding Oli all night. Not anymore.

I glance at Harry and he hides a smirk. Oli notices Harry then and his face hardens a little.

“Oli! Long time!” I go in for the hug he’s reaching for, unsure why he was so sweaty on an autumn night. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he grins at me. “You look good! Not a day over 25.”

“Don’t flatter me Oli,” I roll my eyes. “It’s not going to get you anything.”

“I’m not looking! I swear it!” He says earnestly. “I’m just paying you a compliment. It’s good to see you. Hey, I’m actually in a good relationship. Gonna propose to her.”

“Are you? What’s she like?”

I stand in the brisk evening as Oli tells me about his girlfriend. I’m happy for him, what we had in high school wasn’t really a relationship but I never wished him bad. He was a good guy, I was glad he found his person.

I change the subject when he asks about my love life, tell him I was getting cold. We head back in and I tell him I’d catch up to him later. I’d lost Harry and wanted to find him again. I had more I wanted to talk about.

“Khalil,” I interrupt him playing pool. He goes in for a hug and I engage in polite small talk until I tire of it. “I’m looking for Harry.”

“Of course you are,” he wags a finger at me. “I saw him leaving ten minutes ago?”

“Jeez really?” I couldn’t believe I missed him! After coming here just for him. Maybe he had to get home, maybe he had a kid by now. Had to tuck him in.

“He’s not doing so well since the divorce-“

“What?” I stare at Khalil like he’s spoken gibberish. Why hadn’t I heard about that?

“Ehm yeah. He’s pretty private about it.”

“I didn’t know.”

“Yeah. He’s been separated a few years now but he just signed the papers a couple weeks ago. I dunno. He gets kinda depressed around this time of year. Probably the weather.”

It was September. It wasn’t the weather.

I had to find him.

I brush past the people I went to school with. I followed Harry outside to a roof 17 years ago and today I follow him out to find him again. We needed to talk.

I look both ways, hoping for a miracle.

I spot a figure slumped on the far end of the road. I recognize the church, it was where we went every Easter and Christmas growing up.

I walk towards the figure until I can make out the hair. It was Harry. Thank god.

“Why’d you leave?” I ask him when he looks up to my approaching footsteps.

“I drank too much,” he hangs his head again. I sit beside him.

“I heard about the divorce. I’m sorry.”

Harry shrugs. “We separated a while ago. It was coming for a long time.”

“Yeah. Still.” I say.

We sit in silence, the only sound is our breathing and the faint noises from the pub down the road.

“She’s in her last year by now.” I say without further explanation. I know he’d know.

“Our baby’s 17.”

Our baby? I feel choked up. All these years we’d been apart, built our own lives, and there was still an our even when there hadn’t been.

“It’s always been us hasn’t it?” Harry says. “Nobody understands.”

“They couldn’t. We were so young, making such a big decision.”

“Oh y/n.” He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his shoulder. He’s cold, his jacket pooled on the steps around him. I gather it to spread over his shoulder but he stops me. “How much heartbreak can you have in one lifetime?”

I sit, aching for the pain Harry was going through. Knowing it was mirrored in me.

“I’ve had enough for a lifetime. I know that.”

“Me too.” Harry sighs. “I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” I intertwine our hands. They still fit the exact same, all these years later. I examine them, but they looked the same too. I wonder if our baby girl ever looked at her hands, wondered who she inherited them from.

“D’you think she thinks about us?” Harry asks what I’m thinking.

“Maybe.” I say. “I like to think so. I just hope she doesn’t hate us for giving her up.”

“Yeah me too I think…” he hangs his head. I hear him sniffle. Seems like Harry hit the point of drinking where all you could feel is regret. I remember those days. I knew where he was.

When he doesn’t finish his sentence I fill the silence; “Me and Tatum split uh…four years ago now.” I update him. “You probably heard something about it. I remember my mum saying she ran into yours when it was happening. They probably talked all about it.”

I wait for Harry to give confirmation but he stays the way he is.

“I went sober a few years before then. Almost ruined our wedding cuz I was exactly where you were. Unprocessed grief and all I could do was drink about it. I’d given up a baby at 18, then lost a baby a decade later. It feels silly to say out loud, that something that never really came into this world—something the size of a fruit could act like the rock you push up the hill every morning. The grief you fight at your darkest times. How could we be haunted by something that didn’t even exist—not technically. But that’s just the way it was. And that’s the way it had to be when we were 18. I’m not always sure I made the right decision overall but I know it was a decision we had to make at the time. I’ve had to find my peace. So do you Harry.”

“Yeah. I-I have to. Y’know? Sometimes I wonder if I would have made her proud.” Harry sniffles. I had similar thoughts. My throat feels tight remembering. “I don’t think, right now, I would be.”

“She’s so loved. She is so loved Harry. Whatever…wherever she is.”

“I love you.” Harry turns to me. His face is raw with grief and emotion. “Never stopped loving you. But I don’t want to give you this version of me.”

“I’ll take any version of you Harry.” I reassure him. “I think we’ve seen too much of each other to be able to hide anything away.”

He tips forward slowly until his head rests on my chest. I hold him there, just like he’d done for me so many years ago. I tell him the type of thing that meant everything to me back then and I hope it helps him to hear it: “We’ll get through this Harry.”

***

“I don’t remember getting here.”

I look up from my book, Harry stands in my kitchen with a confused look on his face. It was weird seeing him here in my flat. But it was so right too.

“We walked home. I thought you sobered up.”

“Nuh-uh.” He takes a few steps towards me, hesitant.

“Coffee?”

“Maybe I’ll take a shower first?”

“First door on your right. Extra towels in the cupboard.”

“Thanks.”

We look at one another for a beat before he moves back. I make another pot of coffee and clean up from breakfast while he showers.

Next time he walks back in he looks a lot better. Smells nice too.

“Black please.” He says when I hold the coffee up.

I pour him a cup and watch him sip it.

“Thank you for last night.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I tell him.

“I remember what you said to me. You’re right of course. I think I knew it, I just didn’t have anyone to talk to about it with. Nobody knew about us…”

“You didn’t have to keep it a secret ‘til this day Harry.” I was surprised he had. “You didn’t even tell any of your friends?”

“The only people who knew were my family, a-and Shan. But. Year after year it didn’t mean the same thing to her. I stopped talking to her about it pretty quickly. Think it made it worse because her and I couldn’t actually…”

“Yeah.” I understood.

“But I realized. I think it was losing both of you. I feel like you were taken away too. We just went from being around each other all the time to cold turkey. That was a loss too so…”

“Yeah.” Again, I understood.

“I’m 35. I’ve gotta…get my head on straight.”

I examine him. “Looks okay to me?”

He smiles and puts his cup down.

“I’m sorry to hear about your divorce.”

“Meh that was years ago. Hard then. Fine now. For the best.”

“I agree,” Harry moves around the table to stand where I am. My heart pulses just like it always does around him. He rests a hand on my hip, dragging it up to wrap around my waist. He must feel how hard my heart’s beating. “Did I tell you? That I love you?”

“Maybe?” I feel myself growing more present. The hole that always lived inside of me growing even smaller in this moment. It allows me to settle on the floor better; less air, more weight.

“Well I do. I love you. At 17, or at 35.” He says this with a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth.

“Well. I love you.” I return the kiss, relish in the way his hand grips my tank. “At 17, or 35.”

“Sometimes I wish I held on tighter at 17. But I look at you now and I’m excited to get to know you again.”

His words pour over me like honey. It was sweet we were still on the same page.

“I’m not letting you go this time.” Harry whispers in my ear. He pulls me in tight, swaying from side to side. “I want to spend 41 and 50 with you. I want all of you, every side.”

“Perfect,” I peer up at him. “That’s exactly what I want too.”

“And maybe one day,” he continues in a hush voice. “We’ll get a call from a young girl. She’ll tell us all about her life in a town up north. About a picture she has of her mother dressed like her father and her father dressed like her mother.”

“She’ll tell us she’s had a good life, and she’s thought about the people in the picture. She’d tell us she wants to meet them.”

“We would be able to show her the love we kept for her. Our love’s like a venn diagram, the bit in the middle is just for her. She’d know why she was born in the first place.”

“Closure,” I whisper to him. “We would know closure.”

I remember the day she was taken, how the loss of not even being able to see her felt bigger than the loss of her itself back then.

I think of a 17 year old girl, with green eyes and brown hair. With my smile and Harry’s dimples. My hands, and Harry’s height. She was loved by people, families, that she didn’t even know existed yet.

They say if you love something, let it go. If it’s meant to be it’ll come back.

As Harry and I stay intertwined in the kitchen of my flat, I send out a wish into the universe for her like I did most days. That she was healthy, happy, and one day curious enough to seek us out. That one day, she would come back.

Right now I focus on the man in my arms. The one I never thought I’d get to hold again. For now this was all I needed. I’d loved him, let him go, and after so many years apart, we were back.

#harry styles fic #writingsfromhome #harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #fic #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry stylesxreader #read with caution #sad but hopeful #kinda nervous to post #this fic is qd

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iamumbra195 · 9 months

Text

Random One Piece incorrect quotes cause I'm bored

Some of these are modern au though

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

*Sanji's not there*

Usopp: HELP! I TOLD LUFFY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK!

Zoro, pouring alcohol directly into a cereal bowl:

Zoro: And you thought I could help?

...

Luffy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Nami : Wasn't Zoro with you?

Zoro: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

...

Law: I trust Mugiwara-ya.

Penguin: You think he knows what he's doing?

Law: I wouldn't go that far.

...

Sabo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

Ace, confused: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Sabo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Luffy: edible

...

Nami: We need to get through this locked door. Usopp, give me your credit card.

Usopp: Here.

Nami, pocketing it: Thanks. Luffy, kick down the door.

...

Chopper: You know those things will kill you, right?

Zoro, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Sanji, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Luffy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

...

Robin: Why is Luffy so sad?

Nami: He took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Robin: And...?

Nami: He got Buggy

*Zoro cackling in the background

...

Zoro: Self care is actually getting into fights with randos in dark alleys.

Nami: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap!

Kin'emon, trying to be poetic: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!!

Usopp: Lmao self care is taking Luffy's birthday meat cake just so I can eat the frosting.

Luffy: If you touch my meat cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Sanji, losing his mind: WHY IS THERE FROSTING ON MEAT?

...

Franky, about Jinbe: Apparently we’re getting someone new in the group.

Robin: Are we stealing them?

Brook: New or used?

Franky, cackling: Wonderful responses, both of you.

...

Smoker: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Sanji: Shit.

Usopp: Wait, three?

Smoker: Yeah?

Nami: OH MY GOD ZORO FELL OFF!!!

...

Kin'emon: Tonight, one of you has betrayed us.

Ashura: Is it me?

Kin'emon: No, it’s not you.

Denjiro: Is it me, Kin?

Kin'emon: It’s not you either.

Kanjuro: Is it me, Kin'emon?

Kin'emon, bleeding from several debilitating injuries:

Kin'emon, mockingly: Is IT mE kiN'eMOn?

...

Usopp: Can I be frank with you guys?

Luffy, confused: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chopper: Can I still be Chopper?

Franky, snickering: Shh, let Frank speak.

...

Sabo: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Koala: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Sabo: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ROBIN-CHAN WITH ME

Hack, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

...

Law, walking into his submarine: Hello, people who do not belong here.

Zoro: Hey.

Sanji: Hi.

Robin: Hello.

Chopper: Hey!

Law: I gave you my vivre card for emergencies only!

Luffy, grinning: We were out of meat.

...

Sanji: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Luffy, drinking meat: Why do you say that?

...

Zoro: Do you take constructive criticism?

Nami: I only take cash or credit.

...

Koala: Why are you on the floor?

Sabo: I'm depressed.

Sabo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Ivankov, please.

...

Robin: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

*everyone looks ay Karasu

Karasu: What? How am I supposed to know?

Lindbergh: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Karasu: *sighs*

Karasu: You wouldn't be trapped

...

Vivi: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Nami: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Vivi: Yes!

Usopp: ... I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

...

Usopp: WHY. why did you give Luffy a KNIFE?!

Zoro, shrugging: He said he felt unsafe.

Usopp: Now I feel unsafe!

Zoro: ... would you like a knife?

...

Dragon: What did you do with the target's body?

Sabo : What didn’t I do with the body?

Dragon:

Sabo: Okay, that sounded more sexual than I intended. I disposed of the corpse respectfully.

...

Luffy, texting Ace: Ace! Help I’m being kidnapped

Ace: Where are you?

Luffy: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Ace: I’ll call Gramps.

Garp, answering their cell: Y’ello?

Ace: Where’s Luffy? He texted me that he was being kidnapped.

Garp: Luffy? Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Garp, who shaved his head:

Garp: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

Garp: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!

Luffy: WHO ARE YOU?!

...

*Ace, Sabo and Luffy sitting in jail together*

Sabo: So who should we call?

Ace: I’d call Gramps, but I feel safer in jail

...

Roger: Garp, my old arch enemy.

Garp: ... I thought I was your only arch enemy?

Roger: I have a life outside of you, Garp

...

Zoro: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Luffy: The cow???

Zoro: What?

Sanji: *disgusted shudder* LUFFY, W H Y?

...

Usopp: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 billion berry?

Zoro: Nami can stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house and erase my debt

Luffy: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 billion.

Zoro: Good thinking.

...

Kin'emon: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Denjiro: You were flirting with O'Tsuru.

Kin'emon: So what? She's my wife.

Denjiro: You asked her if she were single.

Kin'emon:

Denjiro: And then you cried when she said she wasn't

...

Marco: What time is it?

Ace: I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out

Ace: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*

Izou: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING

Ace, proudly: It’s 2 am

...

Luffy: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Law: You people already know too much about me.

Kidd: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

...

Sabo, an enabler: Tell Ace about the birds and the bees.

Luffy: They're disappearing at an alarming rate.

...

Brook: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

...

Zoro: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

...

Law: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Bepo: Captain, no.

...

Law: Nothing in life is free.

Chopper: Love is free!

Luffy: Adventure is free!

Robin: Knowledge is free.

Nami: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

...

Usopp: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Luffy will and will not eat.

Franky: Grass? Yes!

Usopp: Moss? Yes!!

Franky: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Usopp: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Franky: Worms? Sometimes!

Usopp: Rocks? Usually nah.

Franky: Twigs? Usually!

Usopp: Zoro's cooking? Inconclusive!

Chopper: How did you… test this?

Usopp: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Chopper: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Nami: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?

Robin: What about humans? He tried to eat Crocodile once

Everyone: ...

Usopp: I think I might be too afraid to ask

(Someone pls draw this one XD)

...

Betty: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Koala: *turning to Sabo* How tall are you?

...

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

That's it, this took forever to write lol

732 notes · View notes

ultralightpoe · 6 months

Text

Full House llll l -Eddie Munson

Authors Note: And with this final chapter we say goodbye to the Munson family. Thank you to everyone who has read this series.

Warnings: angst, mentions of ptsd and fear of suicide but not a lot.

Word Count: 10,129

Part One HERE - Part Two HERE - Part Three HERE - Part Four HERE - Part Five HERE -

(Thanks for the gif @spookynebula )

Enjoy! -Warning. This chapter had mentions of depression and ptsd. Reader hints at suicide-

It was insane how fast things escalated that night.

Friday nights had become somewhat of a massive tradition in the entire group, since that was the one night that EVERYONE had off. It became a family dinner/ game night all around.

Everyone brought over plates of food, the kids all got to spend time together and the DnD party got a night to catch up on their campaign. Anyone who didn’t want to play got some time to relax with friends.

Tonight was an extra special night because everyone was celebrating Dustin and Erica’s son, Luke’s birthday.

So the second you all got home from all the activities and clubs and meetings everyone got cracking and starting setting up. Ziggy cleaned the downstairs living room that became the kids play room with the help of Halen.

You helped clean up the living room before leaving Eddie and Ozzy to set up their DND tables for their respective campaigns as you went to start the food.

By 7, an hour earlier than her normal time, Motley comes in with a smile that has you on edge immediately.

It’s not that she was a bad kid, you loved your daughter more than the world itself, you just didn’t like her current path. And you had gotten used to the coming in and stomping straight into her room so this smile told you something was up.

“Hey ma!” She smiles, moving forward to kiss your cheek.

“Hi angel.” You mumble, making a kiss noise back as you focus on the food. “We’re doing chicken Alfredo tonight for everyone so-“

“I was actually hoping I could go to Samantha’s for a movie night.” She smiles, watching you pause and then look at her.

“Again?” It had been a year since she had attended one of these family dinners since her and Samantha did movie nights. “Wait, I thought you were mad at Samantha for something. When I was doing laundry you were on the phone talking about her.”

“You were eavesdropping?!”

“No, I was doing your laundry and you were talking loudly!” You snap. “And I’m gonna have to say no to the movie night because it’s Luke’s birthday. A special event.”

“And next week it will be Uncle Jonathan’s birthday and after that Sara’s birthday-“ a small smile spreads across your face at the mention of Sara, the cute toddler girl Mike and El had brought into the world. She was so sweet and reminded you of your kids back then.

“That’s the thing about birthdays. They happen every year?” You mumble, confused on why you have to explain this as she curses under her breath.

“I just mean it’s always something with this family.”

“Okay. I already said no so suck it up buttercup.” You snap, turning back to the food.

Eddie comes into the kitchen with an excited smile when he sees Motley home, and you already know what’s coming.

“Hey Metalhead. You wanna see how cool I am?”

“Sure.” She snaps, rolling her eyes at him.

“People say I’m magic, cause I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.” Just as he says it he makes the Twix candy bar slide down into his awaited palm with such excitement.

“Wow dad.” She sighs. “This is an all time low.”

“Oh! Twix!” Halen snatches it and dashes to go fine his best friend.

“You eat today?” Eddie asks Motley, trying not to let her mood get at him. “We have snacks set up already-“

“Why do you constantly feel the need to ask me if I’ve eaten?!” She snaps.

“What?! I just want to make sure my daughter actually eats instead of that dieting smell a carrot bullshit!”

“UGH! Just leave me alone! This house sucks!” She stomps downstairs and Eddie turns to you.

“What’d I do now?”

“I actually told her no to something before you came in so it was me.” You explain, using the spoon to pull out a noodle and move to feed it to him.

And before you know it everything is packed with people.

Steve and Nancy came in a bundle of hugs, Eddie making a tall joke to their tallest son which makes Vinny laugh nervously as he moves out of the way for his three younger brothers to come in.

Vinny takes his spot at Ozzys table, getting his dice ready as two of his brothers join him while the third dashes to follow Ziggy to go play with Zeppelin.

Steve takes a seat at Ozzys table as well, since he wanted to play but didn’t really know how he was playing Ozzys campaign to learn the basics of the game.

Jonathan and his son arrive soon enough, Halen snatching his friend and they dash upstairs to play video games as Jonathan takes a seat on the couch where you Nancy and Robin always sit and talk shit about anyone and anything.

Eddie tries to call Motley up for dinner but she doesn’t answer so he just shrugs and starts his campaign, missing the pointed eye roll Vinny had.

“He prefers to be called Vince now.” Nancy explains over her wine. “And Steve found not one but 4 little notes from girls or guys asking him out. All unanswered and just shoved into his desk drawer.”

“I still can’t believe you’re raising a valedictorian. Any idea on where he’s applying to colleges?” Jonathan asks.

“Oh come on. The kid is tall, attractive, has amazing grades and an all around good student. Not to mention the star baseball player for the team. It doesn't matter where he’s applying because they are all going to be reaching out to him.” Robin scoffs, making Nancy smile.

You hear a bunch of groans coming from Ozzys table and look over to see your son smiling just like his dad as the table is panicking on what to do.

When you look over at Eddie you see he is already smiling from ear to ear as he watches before the sound of Zeppelin barking in the back yard pulls your attention.

“What was that?” Mike asks, trying to look out the window.

“Probably just heard a car door. Dogs on about everything lately.” Eddie sighs, focusing back up on the game.

Then some more time passes and he begins to get to get more and more anxious. Motley hadn’t eaten so she should come up.

“Hey Zig?” He calls. “Send your sister up please!”

There’s a slight rustle downstairs and he hears Ziggy knock before swinging the door open. His first sign of trouble is when he doesn’t hear Motley immediately scream at her sister to get out of her room.

But he thinks that maybe she managed to fall asleep, she did come from cheer practice after all.

That is until Ziggy dashes upstairs and Eddie is met with her wide eyes that makes everything fall into a panic for him.

“What’s up?”

“She’s not there.”

“She’s not where?”

“She’s not in her room-“ Eddie is zipping out of his chair to zoom downstairs and check for himself, barging into her room to find it empty. “You’ve gotta be kidding me-“

He moved to see that she had somehow shimmied out of the small window she had and he gets pissed.

How long has she been doing that?!

He storms back upstairs, snatching the phone angrily as you come closer, watching him dial Perez' number and wait.

“Hello, this is Eddie Munson. I just need to make sure my daughter got to you house safely-“ he stops, heart thundering in his rib cage at the man’s response as you keep peering at him. “What do you mean she’s not there?”

Vinny is watching you both, an annoyed look on his face as everyone’s mood immediately drops, once again for Motley. She ruined everything these days.

“She’s at a party.” He sighs. “Her boyfriend Aaron and his best friend Henry are throwing a huge rager tonight.”

“I thought she wanted to go to Samantha’s?” He asks you, confused since that’s what you told him earlier.

“Her and Samantha haven’t actually been friends for months. Samantha is too nerdy now.” Vinny explains and Steve sighs.

“Vin, why didn’t you say anything?”

“She’s not my business. I try to stay far away from her these days-“

“Why?” You ask, getting defensive of your daughter.

“Because they make everyone’s lives miserable. They just constantly bully Mickey about his stuttering. Samantha is bullied about her weight and all they do is walk through the halls making everyone miserable. And she just lets it happen with a laugh. She thinks it’s great.”

Your heart breaks, imagining all the things he is saying as Eddie is losing patience.

“The party's address. Where is it?” He snaps, moving to grab his keys.

“Eds..” you mumble, reaching out to stop him but the second he has the address he is out the front door.

So you, and everyone else, wait.

Sending all the kids including your twins down stairs to watch a movie as the adults and teens sit around and wait for Eddie’s car to emerge again.

And when they do you already know it’s gonna be bad based on the way they both slam the doors.

He’s yelling before they even make it to the front door.

“I’m sick of this bullshit with you!” He shouts. “When’s it gonna stop, huh?!”

“Fuck off!” She screams back, obviously crying. “You just ruined my life!”

“No Motley, I just helped it!” He yells, opening the door. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

“Why do you care so much?!” She screams as they both come into view. “IT WAS JUST A PARTY!”

“YOU WERE DRINKING AND SMOKING!” He screams back, both red in the face. “I HAD TO PULL THAT FUCK OFF OF YOU! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED MOTLEY?!

“Right. So you’re the hero once again right? You barge in and take control over everything and now everyone is gonna say what a wonderful guy you were and how my mom is so lucky she found you.” She sneers, tears streaming down her face and makes her eyeliner stain her cheeks. “Thank god for Eddie fucking Munson. My family was fine before she met you! We were fine without you!”

“I don’t know what you’re on about but you’re on thin ice tonight.” He warns.

“Just fucking say it! Say I remind you of my dad! That’s why you hate me right?!” She snaps and his eyes widen.

“Motley- you don’t. Wait-“ your husband tries, you see the panic on his face as he realizes that this situation was spinning out far too quickly.

Meanwhile Eddie felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had just found his daughter half asleep with some jock on top of her at a party and he was freaked the fuck out. He was mad and stressed and scared but the feeling he was getting as she glared at him made him go cold.

He had his tiffs with her, these days all he could seem to do was irritate her but this was something entirely different.

“I’m Billys kid right? That’s all I am to you? I look and act like him! That’s all you see! Right?!”

“You’ve had a lot to drink.” Eddie sighs, rubbing his face. “Maybe you should go get some rest.”

“You talk all this bullshit about how it’s the people that raise us and not the ones we’re made from. But you know what I think? I think you’re lying because you know that’s not true. I’ll always be like Billy and you will always be like Alan.” She continues and Eddie feels something cold in his chest, a cracking feeling as his ears start ringing. He hears you shuffle closer already trying to diffuse the situation but neither of them look at you.

When he doesn’t respond she keeps going, like a feral animal backed into a corner.

“You think I haven’t heard the stories?! Huh?! Alan Munson arrested for drug abuse and manslaughter. Eddie Munson, the schools fucking freak that sold drugs and killed Chrissy Cunningham.”

“I am nothing like him-“ Eddie snaps, skin hot and fists clenched. Alan was an abuser, who had hit Eddie more than he hugged him. Eddie had never hit you, or the kids. He had never killed anyone, not even Chrissy and sure he sold drugs but he always made sure everyone was safe when using them.

Is that how she saw him?

“You’re just like him! Nothing but a low life fucking freak. You can take your cheap fucking necklace back, freak.” She sobs, tearing off the necklace he made her and chucking it at his chest. Some of the chain hits his cheek at how hard she threw it, and it falls to the floor beneath him with a clank.

And just like that he’s back to nothing. All the hard work he’s done to run from his name and all the hard work he’s put into supporting people is gone. She’s right. He’s nothing but a freak. Always has been and always will be.

Her face falls from one of pure anger to shock and sadness as she watches him. He doesn’t know what he looks like but by your devasted face it can’t be great.

“I’m going to bed.” He announces, voice sounding bland and empty, kicking his mothers ring away from his feet and moving upstairs without another word.

“W-wait dad-“ she gasps out, sobering up a bit. “Please just-“

He doesn’t hear. Or he just blatantly ignores her as the bedroom door slams harshly.

“No. No no no.” She sobs, falling to her knees to try and find where the ring had gone after Eddie kicked it. Her fingers grasp around the chain, sobbing harder when she sees it snapped and broken.

Ziggy comes into view then, eyes wide as she watches her sister scramble across the floor.

“Ziggy. You need to go downstairs-“ you try and control the situation, moving your daughter to head back only to find that all of the kids were standing in the kitchen and had heard everything.

“I think it’s time we go.” Steve mumbles, not looking at Motley as everyone begins to grab their kids and make their way out.

She can’t breathe, she can’t breathe and she can’t find the ring.

“Z-zig- help me p-please. I can’t find it.” She sobs, reaching her arm under the couch to try and feel for it.

Ziggy doesn’t move to help her sister, and you can only watch with tears streaming down your face as your oldest breaks down.

“Ididntmeanit!” She sobs. “Pleasebelieveme-“

“I think everyone needs to go to bed.” You state calmly. “Motley we will discuss all of this in the morning once we’ve all had room to breathe. Okay?”

She nods, still violently sobbing as Ziggy walks away from her and storms downstairs. Halen has tears streaming down his own face as Ozzy grabs his arm to lead him upstairs, hearing nothing but silence coming from their parents room.

You shuffle away too, trying not to look at her and trying not to cry. You had no clue what to do right now.

She searches for a couple minutes before realizing the point was mute since she couldn’t actually see from her eyes anymore with how hard she was crying and finally she gave up, shuffling downstairs.

At first she walks to her room, but the second she hits the door she realizes she doesn’t want to be alone so she moves closer to Ziggys door and knocks softly.

Back when you first moved in, Motley and Ziggy were terrified to sleep in the basement, both so sure ghosts were real. Motley often let Ziggy in her room so they could sleep together.

Now it was her knocking on her baby sister's door, chest aching as it opens a bit. “C-can I sleep with you Zig? I-I don’t want to-“

“Why do you have to ruin everything?!” Ziggy cries, shoving Motley away. “Why do you have to chase him away?!”

“Zig-“ Motley sobs but her sister doesn’t hear her.

“You ruin everything! And he’s gonna leave because of you!” And then the door is slammed in her face once more.

So Motley shuffles to the couch, curling into the cushions as she sobs. Eddie’s face stuck in her mind.

She had never seen him look so…. Broken and empty. She did that.

And he had never walked away from a fight with her.

“I want dad…” she sobs, shoving her face into the pillow to sob. “I’m sorry dad.”

You were going to be sick.

Never before had you seen such silence from your husband.

By the time you made it to the room he was just sitting on the bench in front of your bed, just staring at the wall.

“Eddie?” You mumble, moving closer to him and try to rub his cheek. “Do you want to talk about it?”

He just shakes his head no. Not actually looking at you as he brings his hand up to pull yours away from him.

There’s a crater in your chest as your husband pushes your hand away, this gaping hole just gushing out blood as you try and figure out how to fix this. But before you can think of something he stands and walks past you to go into the bathroom, locking the door and turning the shower on.

You’ve thankfully passed out by the time Eddie gets the courage to leave the bathroom, he can’t look at you right now.

He’s a coward.

A freak.

We were fine without you.

She thought he was Alan. She probably heard everyone at school making fun of her dad.

Nothing but a low life fucking freak.

Freak. Freak. Freak freakfreakfreak.

“You’re nothing Edward. You hear me boy?” Alan calls, watching Eddie dash to his room to hide.

Later that evening his mother would give Eddie a buzz cut, the hair being the thing that got him in trouble in the first place.

He could do nothing but stare into the mirror as she did so, looking at the deep purple bruise that covered most his cheek as she worked on his hair.

Nothing.

He didn’t mean to stay awake all night, sitting there staring at a wall. But he somehow managed to.

So he unplugs his alarm clock before it can wake you, shuffling around to get dressed silently. He was used to doing chores on the weekends, for the yard or the family cars.

Today he chose to head out for a bit. Leaving a tiny kiss on your forehead as he grabbed his wallet and keys before heading out.

Motley wakes up to the front door closing, her neck aching from the spot on the couch she had slept on and her head blaring from crying so much last night.

It takes her a moment to get up, shuffling upstairs half asleep until she is in the main part of the house, when she sees no one there she shuffled up the stairs to sneak into your room.

Her heart plummets when she sees it’s only you, her anxiety and guilt heightening as she crawls into bed to lay with you, pulling the blanket close as you turn to cuddle your daughter.

“I’m sorry mommy.” She cries.

“I know.” You mumble, still half asleep as you keep her close.

Soon enough the boys wake up, dashing downstairs, and you have to get up to go feed everyone. Motley stays close to you, sitting at the table awkwardly as you get the twins set up with cereal.

They don’t look at her. Neither of them even look near her as they eat silently which upsets her more.

“Have you decided what song you’re going to do for your performance, Oz?” She tries to break the tension, watching her brother shrug.

“Dad and I were going over some stuff. Doesn’t matter.” He shrugs again, spinning his cereal around the bowl as you go downstairs to grab Zeppelin for his daily walk and wake up Ziggy.

You rush Zeppelin out, the older dog excited as he is every morning and the second you leave the front door Ziggy emerges from downstairs.

“Morning Zig.” Motley tries to smile, stomach clenching when her sister ignores her.

“Hey Zig? Can I borrow your charcoal markers?” Halen asks, excited to see his sister. “I have this really cool idea to take my Halloween mask and make it look like the words are-“

Motley zones out watching all three of her siblings talk excitedly amongst each other. It had been a family tradition for as long as she’s known to have breakfast together on Saturday, just the 6 of them. A tradition she’s blatantly ignored in favor of spending time with her friends.

“I have a new eyeliner, Zig, if you want to try it?” Motley offers, once again trying to break the tension.

“I’m good.” Ziggys is quick to shut her down, moving to clean up her mess. “Remember guys. Dads birthday is coming up and we all gotta keep it a surprise what we got.”

“Right.” Ozzy smiles, tossing his bowl in the sink before dashing off while Ziggy rushes downstairs.

Halen is the only one left and Motley turns to him. “What’d we get dad?”

“I don’t know what you got him. But we all chipped our allowance in for something.” Halen mumbles, hands clenched.

“Why didn’t you guys tell me? I would have-“

“Why does it matter? He’s not your dad right?” Her brother mumbles out, getting up to slam his bowl in the sink as well. He stomps off soon after that, and soon enough the sound was mixed with the sounds of Ozzy practicing cello and Halen dashing around for his project. Ziggy playing music in her room.

“DADS HOME!” Halen yells excitedly, dashing down the stairs to come into the kitchen where you were preparing lunch. “I saw him pull in.”

“Good.” You smile, some of the anxiety easing as the kids collect at the table around where Motley was sitting and doing homework. “We’re going to eat lunch together. No fighting guys.”

The front door opens and shuts and Motley stands up awkwardly, both of you waiting for Eddie to enter.

When he does you are silent, eyes wide as he blinks at you slowly. “Y-your hair?”

It was cut, short. There were still some curls at the top of his head but the rest was gone.

“I….. yeah I thought I needed a change.” He mumbles, reaching a hand up to pull through it awkwardly. “Thought the mop head was a little outdated.”

I didn’t want to look like a freak. You know that’s what he meant even if he didn’t say it.

“Dad. I am so sorry about what I said. I didn’t mean any of it and I can’t believe-“ Motley begins, wiping her cheeks as some fresh tears roll down her face.

“Hey hey hey.” Eddie stops her. “It’s fine. Okay? No hurt feelings Motley. You had some stress and needed to get it out. I get it.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t mean any of it dad.”

“I know.” He nods. “I’m not upset at you Motley.”

And that was settled. But he doesn’t move forward to hug her, he doesn’t even touch her, instead he shuffles to sit down and look at the others staring at him.

“Does it look bad?” He asks as they all blink at him and his new hair. Immediately after he asks they all rush out to tell him no and that it looks good.

Motley takes a seat again and so do you, everyone beginning to eat silently.

Eddie had said it was fine, but everyone at the table knew it wasn’t.

Eddie didn’t try to crack any cheesy jokes or pull you into an embarrassing kiss that would make them all gag. He didn’t ask about their plans or if they all wanted to hang out. Eddie ate in silence. And the silence was the loudest part of the meal.

Things remained tense for the rest of the weekend and by the time Motley had to go to school she was tired and stressed.

Her bad was still shut down, he tried not to be but he was. And things were just so…..wrong now.

This morning was awkward enough. She had told Aaron she didn’t want a ride, and she really didn’t want her dad seeing him in general.

But he left early for work and you had assumed she already had a ride so you took the rest of the kids, which left her to walk to school.

She showed up drenched from the rain, bumping into Samantha by the door and dashing to the bathroom quickly.

By the time she gets out first period is already over and the hallways were already packed with people moving for their next class.

She just wanted to cry. She was cold and soaked and missed her dad.

She broke her dad.

“Motley! Hey!” Aaron calls, and she tenses, casting him a look before dashing down the hall and bumping into Vince harshly.

He manages to catch her as her heeled boots slip, hauling her easily into an empty classroom the second he sees the tears rushing down her her cheeks. He closes the door and pulls the blinds of the window down.

“Just take a moment.”

“I have to get to class.” She sniffles.

“It’s biology with Fitz. He barely takes attendance and we’ll be fine.” He tries to joke. “Just take a breather.”

“I can’t! I can’t catch my breath at all.” She snaps, and he moves closer to wipe at her eyes as she sobs before she is latching herself onto him with her face pressed into his chest as she sobs. “I’m sorry Vinny.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snitched on you like that.” He mumbles.

“No. No. It actually was for the better.” She moves to sit down after breaking from the hug, sliding against the door and sitting with her back to it.

He follows and they are side by side.

“I’m thankful my dad showed up.” She admits. “There was a split second where I was so fucking happy he was there actually. I saw him when he tore Aaron off of me and I knew I’d be safe.”

“Did Aaron….?”

“Oh. It’s….. I was just too out of it.” She mumbles, trying to get comfortable.

He moves slowly, unzipping her boot slowly to take it off and doing it to the other so it was easier to sit without the heels.

“Then what happened?”

“I…. Saw the look on my dads face when he dragged me out of there. And I just felt like….. Billy.” She admits, swiping the tears. “I remembered what you said and-“

“I lied.” Vince blurts. “Motley you had to have known that I lied. Your dad would never say that.”

“You lied?”

“I lied. I was trying to hurt you because you…. I was being a dick.”

She sniffles quickly, laughing a little. “Vinny.”

“I’m sorry Motley.”

“Oh my god.” She laughs and he can only blink at her from guilt. “I spent the past year bullying you with my friends and you’ve been holding back your punches.”

“I just….there is no excuse.” He mumbles but she just keeps laughing with tears still springing down her face.

“Don’t feel bad. I was…. Out of control and you ended up saving my ass.” She rushes out. “And then I just completely destroyed my life after.”

“You didn’t. I’m sure this can all be fixed.” He sighs. “Your dad is one of the…. Best.”

“He is.”

“And he forgives my dad after years of king Steve’s bullshit.” He mumbles. “Now they are best frie-“

Before he can finish his sentence her lips are on his. Warm and soft.

He can taste the salt from her tears, and his heart is beating through his rib cage as the girl he’s been dreaming about for years finally kisses him.

But then he pulls back, blinking at her. “Sorry.” He blurts out.

“Why are you sorry? I kissed you.” She blushes.

“Motley.” He begins, not really knowing what to say. “You’re beautiful.”

“I know.” She smiles, laying her head on his shoulder. “You are too.”

Family dinner was quiet, and Eddie spent most his time pushing the food around on his plate and everyone ate in silence.

Motley leans over, elbow pressing into his as she whispers. “Have you eaten today?”

A tiny smile breaks out, and Motley can’t tell if it’s real or fake. So she leans back and keeps pushing around her own food.

“I think I’m gonna drop out of the concert.” Ozzy blurts, pulling Eddie’s attention quickly.

“Why?”

“I’m just…. Not really feeling it.” Her little brother mumbles, shrugging.

Everyone turns to Eddie, waiting for him to talk Ozzy into it. This is what he did. A problem arose and Eddie was there to make them all feel better. He would talk Ozzy into the concert, get rid of all the anxiety and stress he was carrying about it.

But it didn’t come.

“Okay well….. just let your teacher know yeah?” He mumbles, picking up his plate to clean it before heading out of the room quickly.

“I hate you.” Ziggy snaps at Motley, storming off.

“EW! Absolutely not!” Motley snaps, slapping Vinny’s hand away which makes him laugh. “I refuse!”

“Go fish. Go fish!” He laughs, waving the card in her face again.

“No! I refuse!”

“That’s the point of the game!”

Motley and Vinny had been eating lunch together in the abandoned science classroom everyday for the past week. They did homework together and played card games. He told her about his mom and dads most recent fight where Steve had managed to break their bedroom door handle and trap them both in the room on accident.

“No it’s not. I win.” She mumbles, shaking her head as he groans out. “Which means I deserve a victory kiss.”

Whenever she won he had to kiss her. And whenever he won she had to kiss him. Oh how miserable life was.

He smiles, leaning forward to kiss her lips nervously which makes her giggle. When he pulls back he scratches the back of his neck. “So… the Sadie Hawkins Hawkins dance is coming up.”

“Yes. I hear them announce it every morning.” She teases. “Who you gonna ask?”

“Oh ha ha.” He scoffs right as the bell rings. “I have practice after school. You good to get home?”

“I’ll be good.” She smiles, watching as he stands up and heads out.

It was weird seeing Eddie like this, so bland and empty. It really scared you.

He had never shut down like this before, and you were getting to the point where you had begun to hide all the sharp objects and pills.

Today he sat on the bed, well more or less laid on the bed splayed out as he watched the ceiling fan turn slowly. It had been 2 weeks since that fight with Motley, and he had nightmares anytime he managed to fall asleep which wasn’t often.

You knew what he was dreaming about of course, between his father, Chrissy or Wayne’s passing he always woke up calling one of their names in a panic.

“Hey Eds?” You call, trying to get his attention. “Do you wanna try sleeping? I can lay with you.”

“No.” He mumbles out, not moving as the bed dios while you curl into his side.

“You need sleep.” You murmur, kissing his shoulder, taking your hand to rub circles on his stomach.

“I just need…..” What did he need? You’d give him anything.

“She didn’t mean it.” You whisper, tears beginning to burn your eyes.

“I know.” He whispers back. “I just can’t shake it.”

“Maybe, we should look into some therapy.” Your whisper, watching as he finally switches to lay on his side facing you pushing until it’s his forehead against your chest.

“If I start dreaming about them-“

“I’ll wake you up.” You promise.

Eddie’s first therapy session falls on a Monday, so you drop the kids off at all their clubs before taking him and waiting in the car as he spends the next 2 hours in the session.

You catch up on some of your book and when he gets back in the car you are happy to note that he seems a little better. Not a lot but he’s not too empty.

“You haven’t eaten in a minute. Want to go get a burger?” You ask and he shrugs. “You wanna wait for the kids to eat?”

“I just want to sleep.” He answers truthfully and you smile, because at least he was answering. So you turn down the radio and drive to pick up all the kids from their clubs.

First are the boys, Halen still in his karate outfit and Ozzy without his cello. When you ask he simply mutters since he didn’t need to practice he was gonna leave it there tonight.

Eddie closes his eyes like he is in pain when Ozzy says that, but no one says anything.

Next is Ziggy, but you are shocked to find both sisters standing together outside of Ziggys school.

“Motley? Why aren’t you at practice?”

“They end at 5.” She answers.

“Then why did you keep coming home at 8?”

She looks guilty as she shrugs, looking between you and Eddie as he keeps his eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”

“Jesus.” You grunt, feeling like a crap mother.

Later that night you knock on her door, and when she lets you in you shut the door, sitting her on her bed so you could have a long conversation about sex and boys.

It was a little too late as you had come to find out. But she ended up telling you everything.

Friday rolled around and it was DND night, but no one set up any campaign tables and no one bothered to get excited.

Eddie helped you in the kitchen and Motley tried asking about any ideas he had for another campaign.

“Have you ever done a dragon one?”

“Yes.”

“Well maybe you can do a futuristic one then?”

“I actually think I’m done for a bit.” He shrugs. “It’s a game meant for kids.”

He shuffles off to the garage to grab the drinks for tonight as Motley looks at you.

“Hey mom?” Ziggy asks, coming up the stairs. “I have this project I’m doing and it smells really bad cause of the paint. Do you think dad will let me work in the garage?”

“I don’t care. Go for it.” Eddie snaps, walking in with the sodas. “Have at it. Take what you want.”

He drops the drinks by the coolers before walking up the stairs.

“He hates us.” Ziggy mumbles. “He hates us now.”

“He doesn’t hate you. Enough of that.” You snap. “You two have absolutely no clue what he’s been through or what he’s done to be where he is now. You throw Chrissy in his face and his father in his face and all he ever does is try to cheer you guys up constantly.”

They both blink at you.

“He’s upset. He’s gonna be upset from his trauma and it shouldn’t constantly be about you two. Have you bothered to ask if he’s okay ever?” You snap, irritable. “Go clean something.”

They disperse quickly and you turn back to keep cooking, slamming everything as you go.

“You okay?” Eddie asks, leaning against the door.

“No I’m not.” You snap. “I’m so sick of everything. When did this get so hard and - and you’re listening to me complain again. Even when I’m stressed about you carrying all our burdens I still give you more.” You laugh bitterly.

“I don’t mind taking in your guys’ burdens.” He sighs, moving closer.

“This isn’t working.” You snap. “None of this is working.”

“I know.” He sighs.

“I think it’s time we take a look at the next step here.” You mumble, turning away from him. “Because I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“I don’t think I can either.” He whispers.

“Then….” You can’t even put it into words, what are you saying? “I need to finish cooking.”

He doesn’t say anything, just merely disappears again.

“Divorce?” Robin scoffs. “You find out your daughter is a slut and this is where you end up?”

“No. Not divorce. We just need another strategy.” You mumble, not looking in the direction that Eddie was sitting in. “It’s like playing tug of war through a brick wall. Whenever either of us begins to make movement the other just hits the brick at full speed.”

Tonight’s ‘family dinner’ was extremely different. It felt more like an awkward party than a family dinner.

Motley sat on the stairs with Vinny, pretending to study as Ziggy sat in the corner sketching.

No dnd, no fun conversations. Your family was truly beginning to crumble under pressure.

“And I feel like absolute crap because how did I now see that my daughter had a sex life?”

“I hear that Aaron kid is a jackass.” Robin sneers.

“From Jonathan. His photography teacher.” Nancy clarifies.

“What great intel.” You sneer and she sighs, rollling her eyes.

You spend the rest of the night talking about Robins most recent girlfriend, and why it ended. By the time you said goodnight to everyone you truly thought you knew too much about her love life.

You wave off her car, being the last to leave, and you shut the door before pressing your forehead to it with a sigh.

When you turn around you are surprised to find Eddie standing there waiting for you and the kids still in sight watching you.

“Goodnight everyone.” You mumble, locking the door and moving to start picking everything up.

“I’m craving donuts.” Eddie blurts, making everyone look at him. “When’s the last time we had an actual Munson meal?”

“What?” Ozzy laughs. “We had dinner together yester-“

“No no. I mean an actual Munson meal.” Eddie shakes his head.

Ziggy catches on then, a smile spreading on her face as Motley soon gets it.

“Guys, I’m tired so maybe we should-“ you don’t get to finish your sentence because Eddie is there, pulling you to the kitchen with the kids to prep for Munson dinner.

A little while later you are all sat on the floor, knees connecting all of you together as you pass around the snacks and laugh.

Homemade donuts and ham wrapped around cheese sticks. Sliced apples and peanut butter with grapes. Any snack you could think of was in the center of the circle.

You all had pillows and blankets, and there was a cartoon playing in the background as Ziggy told you guys the story of how her math teacher broke his foot by dancing in class.

You’re laughing too hard, tears streaming down your face as you try to breathe in while she imitates his crying.

“Stop!” Motley cries. “He did the same dance thing when I had him!”

“Do the dance one more time.” Eddie laughs. “I gotta see it.”

So Ziggy does, looking like an absolute fool as she does but everyone is still laughing and having fun.

Halen catches you up on his drama club, and how he got the old grandma as a roll. “It’s not funny!”

“Its not!” Ozzy laughs. “But your costume is!”

“Wait. Tell them about your concert!” Halen mumbles to which Ozzy shakes his head quickly.

“What’s going on with the concert?” Eddie asks, leaning to snatch an apple slice out of your hand.

“I…. They….. well they gave my solo up before I quit.” He admits.

“What? Why would they do that?” You mumble, worry striking you. “Ozzy,”

“They said I lacked control.” He blushes.

“That’s not fair. You’re the best in that group.” Eddie snaps.

“Every parent says that about their kid.” Ozzy groans.

“Well yeah but I’m not just saying that because you are my kid.” He mumbles. “You’re fucking amazing Ozzy. And if they think you’re not then we need to look for another program.”

“But-“

“Dads right, Ozzy. You play better than any of them.” Motley mumbles.

“We’ll look for another program. Rather than the school.” You nod, and he shrugs with a small smile playing on his lips.

“What’s going on with you?” Eddie asks. “How is life at school, you know after I….”

“Life is better.” She cuts him off. “I actually…. I spend all my free time with Vince now and-“

She starts blushing, and Eddie and yourself are shocked by this image. It had been forever since you saw your daughter with no makeup and in her cheesiest pajamas.

“Well I like all my makeup and outfits but there is no stress of how I look around him so I get to have more fun with it all. You know?” She’s getting redder and redder now. “And the Sadie Hawkins is coming up and Iwastryingtofigurrouthowtoaskhim.”

She mumbles the last part out but everyone heard it, excitement jumping through the group.

“Oooo. Motley and Vincent sitting in a tree-“ a pillow hits Ziggy in the face as Ozzy and Eddie are already talking over each other with ideas.

“How about you write it on a baseball?” Halen asks, and everyone stops at his idea before Motley lights up.

“That would be very sweet.” You smile.

“I don’t have a baseball though.”

“That’s easy. Send Zeppelin outside for 5 minutes and he’ll find one.” Eddie teases.

“I have paint for it!”

“Then we have a plan.”

Eddie sighs, shifting a bit as he tried to conjure up what he needs to say. “I think we’ve been failing as a family lately.”

“How so?”

“When’s the last time we’ve actually talked? Actually sat down together and talked about life? We have all been so caught up lately that we haven’t made time for our best team and that needs to change.”

“How so?”

“I propose that we do family dinners like this from now on. Actually talk. Actually take time for each other and tell eachother everything.” He sighs. “But in order for that then there has to be complete honesty. And I have not given you guys that.”

It’s silent as everyone stares back. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something.

It takes you a minute to register it. It’s a bat tooth.

“Who wants the truth about Chrissy Cunningham and my scars?”

It’s around 3 am when you wake up, confused and groggy.

Somehow everyone had managed to cuddle together on the couch, everyone connected somehow. You were all merged as one, sleeping in a pile, with Halen snoring loudly.

You blink a couple times, wondering what had woken you up, so you sit up, making Halen stir a bit and try your best to sneak out.

You limp to the sound that had been waking you up, tense from the awkward position you had been sleeping before you shuffle to open the window and look out at what was outside.

A small laugh escapes you when you realize that you had left Zeppelin out and he was whining. “I am so sorry baby boy.” You coo, shuffling to the door quickly to let him in. He dashes to the couch to crawl his way into the pile.

You catch Eddie staring at you, trapped underneath all the kids as he nods his head for you to come back. So you do. Finding your spot and falling asleep with your family once more.

“Would you just take a breath?” Eddie laughs, watching his oldest daughter rush around in a flurry of panic.

He is standing in the center of the living room, doing his best to help her as she struggles to find her shoe.

“Dad I can’t find it..” she mumbles. “He’s gonna be here any minute and I-“

“Just sit down a moment.” He mumbles, moving her to sit before he starts looking. He instantly finds, throwing it at her to catch easily before shuffling back to the kitchen to find you sitting with Ziggy as she shows you her most recent project.

“How’s it going in there?” You ask, looking up at him for a second.

“Found her shoe. I came to get you for pictures.” And within a moment you are up, kissing Ziggys head and dashing to find your camera for the photos.

Eddie shuffles closer, snatching a chip from her bag as he looks at the oil painting. “Jesus. Did a teenage mutant ninja turtle possess you?”

“Huh?”

“You know? Micheal Angelo, Donatello-“

“Oh my god dad.” She groans as he picks up the painting.

“This is really good. You're gonna submit it for something?” He asks.

“My art teacher says I should compete in this art show thing.” Ziggy mumbles, watching him look at the painting. “That one is called lifeline.”

An extravagant oil painting with a blurry faced female holding a leather jacket. And when he tilts the photo he realizes that she had hidden bats into the jacket, using another paint so if it moved in the light you might be able to see the bats she had hidden. His bats. His tattoo but with them in a purplish paint hidden just the same were 4 birds.

“You’re really talented.” He mumbles, fingers tracing over the birds.

“Yeah yeah.” She blushes, snatching the painting back and shoving him away.

“HES HERE!” Motley screams from the other room and Ziggy moves to go into the living room to watch Vinny park the car and take a moment to prep himself.

He fixes his jacket and Motley is inside making sure all her makeup is set and perfect as he walks up the pathway.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Be cool.” She warns you and Eddie, trying to breathe.

“We’re cool. You’re the one over there hyperventilating.” Eddie teases and she snatches a pillow to throw at him.

The knock sounds at the door and Motley rushes to answer, tripping unceremoniously so Eddie has to catch her before she breaks an ankle.

He helps her stand straight and moves to answer the door himself.

“Vincent.”

“Mr. Munson.” He smiles, already blushing.

“Is there going to be drinking?”

“No sir.”

“Smoking?”

“No sir.”

“Sex?”

“N-no sir.”

“You know I can kick your ass if you hurt her. Right?”

“My dad said the same thing.”

“That he can kick your ass?”

“No. That you could.” And Eddie can’t help but laugh, letting Motley pass.

It’s another 30 minutes of you taking pictures and him giving her a corsage before they are taking off in his car, Motley smiling from ear to ear.

“Wait…” Eddie mumbles, looking at you with panic. “Something is wrong.”

“What’s that?”

“She’s leaving and I don’t feel that punching feeling in my gut.” He murmurs, looking genuinely confused. “I don’t feel the need to follow her and make sure she makes it there.”

“Yeah. Well if I trust anyone to protect my daughter it would be Harringtons kid.” You laugh. “Because we all know she will be the one throwing the punches and he will back her up.”

There was a nervousness in her stomach that she hadn’t gotten before, a blush on her cheeks as she does her best not to seem like she is going insane with panic.

“I’m…. shit- sorry. I am really nervous.” He mumbles after messing with the radio awkwardly.

“I’m nervous too.” Motley admits, smiling at him.

“You? Nervous? What for? I am the one dating way above my natural league here.” He mumbles. Before she can respond he is pulling into the school parking lot. The Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hawkins High School went all out.

There are balloon gates leading into the front doors and streamers covering the door itself. She kept a firm hold on his arm as they went to get the tickets, ignoring the way Aaron and his friends snicker when they see the both of them together.

“Drinks first?”

“Lead the way.” Motley smiles.

Eddie lays on the couch, reading the eragon book that Ozzy and Halen wouldn’t shut up about, with your head on his lap as you doze off.

You had spent the morning helping your daughter get ready, and now you were tired. So he offered to help you fall asleep, and you had taken the chance, letting him play with your hair as you closed your eyes. He made it seem like he was doing you some huge favor, but truth was you were doing him a favor.

Laying on the couch with you was his favorite thing, well laying with you in general. Gone were the days of having to jump all over each other, now you both were getting to the part in life where you just needed to be near each other. You rooted Eddie to this earth and he needed you like a hurricane needed wind.

He would be nothing without you or the kids. Would still be a freak, spiraling into the unknown but you had given him everything he never knew he needed.

Soon enough he found himself dropping the book on the floor, focusing on you, doing his best to memorize all your features the best he could as you slept peacefully.

He understood Ziggys painting now. Lifeline. You were his lifeline.

By the end of the night Motley and Vinny sat side by side on her front porch, laughing loudly as they shared a gallon of icecream they had stolen from the fridge.

Her feet ached so she had taken off her heels and when he walked her to the door (he was very serious about Eddies curfew) but he hadn’t been ready to say goodnight yet so they decided on hanging out on the porch. She was technically home so her curfew was fulfilled.

“Oh my gosh, Mr. Fitz tried to dance when the YMCA came on!” She giggles. “Smacked Margaret right in the face.”

“WHACK!” He laughs, imitating the slap.

“That poor girl definitely left with a bruise.”

“And Aaron left with a bruised ego.”

“HE DID!” Motley cackles loudly before covering her mouth when she realizes someone might hear her.

“I should get going.” Vinny mumbles, watching her. “But I…. I have something for you.”

“Yeah?”

“I…. well I found this the other night at DnD night…” He murmurs, digging into his pocket to pull out a chain with a really familiar necklace linked to it.

“Oh my god.” Motley gasps, dropping her spoon. “Vinny-”

“I should have given it to you immediately but then I had this idea to- that was wrong wasn’t it? I should have just given it to you I am so sorry-” She leans forward quickly, kissing him before he could keep rambling.

“That was the sweetest thing you could have ever done.” She whispers before hearing a thump from inside and pulling her attention to the door.

“Goodnight.” He murmurs.

“Goodnight.” She answers back, he kisses her again at the door before making sure she gets in without a problem and then walks to his car.

Eddie is shuffling to the couch, eyes wide when he meets his daughters eyes. “I was not spying. I went to grab a blanket for your mother and I.”

Motley smiles, moving to hug him.

“Did you have fun?” He asks, kissing the top of her head.

“So much fun. He was the perfect gentleman.” She whispers. “Goodnight dad.”

“Goodnight metalhead.” She moves to walk away and he calls out once more. “Your mother and I’s first date ended on the kitchen floor of that apartment you guys used to live in.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. She had to get home to relieve the babysitter and I never wanted to let her go.” He smiles.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” She smiles back before moving to go down the stairs.

Time passes, quicker than Eddie would like, and yet as slow as they can be.

He wants so badly to see his kids grow up and yet he just isn’t ready to let them go, he wants to see every second.

Motley and Vinny go to prom together, and Steve and Nancy all get drunk with you and Eddie that night after you say bye to them.

Soon enough he was saying goodbye to his firstborn daughter as her and her nerdy boyfriend drove off to college. He cried, so did you. Steve sobbed.

Ziggy grew into this very hippie lifestyle, most of her clothes looked like they came from Steve Nicks closet and she smelled of incense more than anything. She focused on art, excelling at it truthfully, and as she went through high school Eddie found that he didn’t need to be as worried about boys taking advantage of one of his babies since she seemed absolutely disgusted by them.

She came out to him in her sophomore year, he had been sitting with her in the garage, helping her staple a new canvas that was bigger than his car. She had been panicking all day about something, even Zeppelin had been feeding off her energy and whining.

But then she blurts it out, a quick and simple “I like girls.”

He stops, unplugging the staple gun to turn and look at her, watching her face pinch with anxiety.

“You got a girlfriend?” He asks. She shakes her head no and he nods. “You got a crush on someone?”

There was a nod on that one and he smiled. “Well any girl that gets ya will be a lucky son of a gun. And I mean that, because you are a very freaking special Ziggy. Always have been.”

She hugs him tightly, crying into his chest that night.

Zeppelin passes away two months later, and Eddie finds himself with the grief of losing a child. He tells the kids that it was time, time for him to move on and find Wayne. He is completely devastated by it, but he tries to keep a brave face for Ziggy since she just lost her oldest best friend.

He keeps his collar on the fireplace right next to Wayne's ashes and a photo of all of them at the park..

Once the boys hit freshman year their biggest fight starts…. Over another boy. Well more specifically Ozzy makes a friend and Halen gets mad that he never sees his twin anymore.

The fight led to physical blows, and soon enough Eddie had to move Ozzy into Waynes old room just to get them to chill out.

Ziggy graduates, barely (his poor sweet baby), and gets accepted into an art school so he has to say bye to yet another child. He had a gaping hole in his chest.

When everyone comes back for Christmas that year it's a time for shock. Eddie’s two biggest shocks? The hole in his son's face and the ring on his daughter's finger.

Ozzy looked different with his new piercing, a new punk grunge look that Eddie tried to support. He really did. But the piercing looked so infected and gross.

“Did you do that in the bathroom with one of your moms earrings?” He teases, trying not to laugh straight in sons face.

“Yes?” Ozzy answers which makes everyone laugh.

“Next time just let me take you to get it pierced.”

For the boys’ 16th birthday Eddie takes them to get a tattoo. They chose something silly, shocker. Eddie however added 5 bird silhouettes by his bats to symbolize the 5 most important people in his life.

The day Vinny and Motley get married he walks her down the aisle, kissing her head once they reach the end and handing her off to Vinny. They get married with a red piece of yarn, just like you and Eddie had.

They move into an apartment in Hawkins, and have a baby girl soon enough and Eddie is ecstatic to be a grandfather. He is at the hospital the day she is born, and once everyone is allowed into the room they rush to see the new baby while he rushes to see Motley. Kissing her head and wiping the hair out of her face as she cries happily. (I saw a tiktok where it said ‘everyone went to see my baby and my dad immediately went to see his baby and immediately thought of Eddie)

He gets to hold the baby girl first, which makes Steve complain loudly but Vinny decided that Motley pushed her out so she got to decide who in the family held her first.

For the boys’ highschool graduation Ziggy comes home and everyone takes a picture with them in their matching cap and gown.

Ziggy in her fleetwood mac outfit, smiling from ear to ear as she hugs Halen close. Halen had decided on a buzz cut that suited him well, with one ear pierced. He smiled, arms linked with Ozzy who was a spitting image of Eddie. Motley hugged Ozzy tight, and the picture had caught the moment she realized her baby brother had a snake bite piercing, everyone laughing as she cursed out at him.

Baby Stevie sat on Eddie's hip, smiling happily at her grandfather as he cooed at her. It had been a constant running joke on whether Stevie was named after Steve or if Motley had just been following the rock theme.

We all know the answer.

Ozzy went to New York after graduation while Halen ended up getting into a college in michigan.

The very first you and Eddie have in your empty house is spent on the kitchen floor, eating macaroni and cheese straight from the pot as you both cry softly.

It seemed like neither of you could decide whether you wanted to be upset or happy for your kids.

It became a habit with you two, to sit on the floor to eat side by side just as you always used to.

Stevie’s first Munson dinner happened the weekend of her first birthday.

Everyone had come home for it, including all her aunts and uncles, and had chosen to stay in the house just like old times. This time with the addition of Vinny, who seemed so excited to be there in general.

“Alright, you know the rules.” Eddie smiles at everyone, knees pressed to your own and Motleys. “I want to hear everything.”

Stevie giggles in the center of the circle, tearing apart the muffin she had been given before marching over to where her uncle Ozzy was sitting and plopping herself in his lap which makes everyone laugh.

Ziggy tells them about her classes at the art school, and all the paintings she had been selling. She talks about a new girlfriend and jokes about the time she got trapped in her bathroom for an entire day until her girlfriend came home from work. She talks about struggling with being so far away from the family all the time.

Halen talks about his classes, complaining very loudly about his grades before moving on to complain about his dorm mate that never stopped jacking off which makes Eddie laugh. He talks about wanting to drop out, and what he would do after. Eddie is quick to let him know they had his back no matter what, even if he wanted to sell all his stuff and go traveling around the world.

Ozzy goes on a rant about the girl that lives across the hall. He rants about how he hates her hair and her choice in music, and how his roommate is constantly checking her out. He says she is the most annoying person on the planet and Eddie risks a knowing look with you. Smiles on both your faces as he continues to rant. By the time he is done he looks around the group as everyone holds in their laughter. “What?”

“You’re just…. So oblivious.” Vinny mumbles which makes Ozzy flip him off.

“Says you!” Ozzy snaps. “You chased after my sister for years you whiny little-”

“Cuss in front of my granddaughter and I will end your life.” Eddie mumbles quickly which makes Ozzy roll his eyes while smiling.

Motley just tells stories about things that have happened with Stevie, which everyone loves.

Eddie catches them up on his therapy sessions, and you catch the kids up on your health. The family close together once more.

Eddie Munson was home, and he would have it no other way.

-And with that we say goodbye to the Munson family. I do have more Eddie works coming out. Let me know if you would like to be tagged and I truly hope you all liked the story. -

Taglist:: (lmk if you want to be removed)

@dontcrydaddy @valentine-ger @mariamayhemrsmunson @hippiefairy02 @alyisdead @thehuntresswolf @username199945 @peaches-roses-sins @bl1ssfulbaby @friendly-neighborhood-boricua @avenjames-anderson @nodont1 @bethanyzed @caseyqdilla @zooboomanfu @hazydespair @costellation-hunter @vanessav03 @r-a-d-i-0-n-0-w-h-e-r-e @kidd3ath @katzarantos @peaches-roses-sins @friendly-neighborhood-boricua @ilovetaquitosmmmm @emilyshortcake @jjsbongwater @morgthemagpie

#eddie #munson #eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson angst #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson imagines #eddie munson fanart #eddie munson x reader #stranger things #stranger things fanart #stranger things fan #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x reader #stranger things 4 #stranger things fic

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shelby-fangirl00 · 8 months

Text

Good for you-part 3

previous part

So I’ve been avoiding tumblr lately. Sometimes I get into these stupid funks after I write something I’m really proud of. It’s like I can’t do another good piece of writing after. I don’t know, I’m just scared of not being good. I honestly don’t know how well this one’s even written, but it was still fun to write.

So I took sometime to just fall into dark romance novels in order to help me feel inspired/grow as a writer. I know I don’t really have many people waiting on me to write or anything but I just have this guilt about not posting. BLEHHH ANYWAYZZZ…

🎵I can heaaaar the belllls🎵 it’s wedding day y’all! Enjoy:)

Warnings: (18+ MINORS DNI) strong language, smut, loss of virginity, dark!Tommy, dark!Tommy being soft, angst, fluff, jealousy and a bit of cheating

You hadn’t spoken to him in days, not since you woke up alone in his bed. he had left your ass bruised to hell. You weren’t sure why he had been avoiding you. It all seemed like one big mind game of his. Punishing you, soothing you, then disappearing. What was his angle?

Now, you were about to manually put one pearly white heel in front of the other as you walked down the church aisle, only moments away from signing over your life to him.

You looked at your father before he opened the doors of the church to expose you to a room full of people you didn’t know. He went to reach for the door handle, but you stopped him, pulling his arm back. He looked at you, confused at first. He could see the tears pricking at your eyes and the scrunching of your brow. Your chin began to quiver as you saw your fathers eyes soften with empathy and maybe a bit of guilt.

“I’m so scared, dad.’ You whispered to him, the tears finally falling down your cheeks.

“Oh sweetheart…” he pulled you into a bear hug, the kind that made you cry ever harder. You felt the child inside of you dying as his familiar arms wrapped around you, the arms that always protected you. It was a dark and empty feeling, knowing that you’d never have that gleaming light in your eyes that children have. That you always had. You’d never have the same rosiness to your cheeks anymore. You’d never experience real love, never experience traveling, never have your own life. You would always have that depressing mansion. Forever hiding behind the shadow of the man you’re marrying. Reality sank in and you tried to accept the hand that life had dealt you.

“Be strong, y/n. He may seem like a cold man but he will take care of you. You will never have to struggle again. We will never struggle again. And it’s all because of the sacrifices you’re making today. They don’t go unnoticed, love.”

You shook your head, wiping the tears away and composing yourself. You always understood your role in your family. It was all just happening so quickly at once.

You heard the church’s organ hymn to life, knowing that this was really it.

The doors opened, revealing nearly a hundred people or more standing and watching you, examining your body. At the end of the green aisle stood Tommy, hands crossed in front of him, watching you, with no expression at all. Everyone was dressed eloquently, but so we’re you. You’re dress was light but fitting, accentuating your best features with rhinestones and lace.

Tommy watched you walk slowly down the aisle, hips swaying back and forth. He always thought you were a pretty girl, but you looked beautiful tonight. He especially liked the way you chose to wear your hair in a low loose bun, strands falling down your neck. The way he favored it.

He coughed a bit as his mouth went dry the closer you got to him.

“Don’t get cold-feet now, Tommy.” John giggled from behind him. Tommy rolled his eyes, unmoving from his position.

As your father handed you off to Tommy who took your hand, walking you to stand in front of the aisle with the priest.

As the priest went on with the service, you felt yourself looking for comfort in Tommy’s eyes, your new protector. He gave you an amused smile, winking down at you playfully, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. His ability to not take it all so seriously (or at least not show you his fear) calmed down the rambunctious beating of your heart.

“I do” Tommy said, his voice booming through the church. You almost forgot how intimidating his voice was after not hearing it for days.

“I do” you said quickly, not daring to hesitate and risk embarrassing him. He smiled at your eagerness.

“In the sight of these witnesses and God, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride!”

The drop in your stomach was quickly replaced with butterflies as Tommy cupped your face sweetly and kissed you for the very first time. His lips were soft and supple, pressing lightly against your own. Being kissed by him was better than you imagined.

You both started to laugh into the kiss as the roar of people (mostly Tommy’s family and men) whistled and clapped for you both. Feeling the tension break away from the situation, you pulled away, smiling so widely at Tommy. His heart skipped a beat as he had never seen such a beautiful and authentic smile.

For a few moments, it felt like it was just the two of you in that church. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

…………………………………………………………………………….

You had ditched the champagne halfway through the night and snuck a few swigs of whiskey from Tommy’s office. All you could think about was what would happen after all of his fancy guests left. Would you still have a separate bedroom from him? Hell, you didn’t even know if he’d touch you. You never talked about anything. But you wanted him to. Deep down, there was a need to be consumed by only him.

The booze helped with your worries. You figured it would help with the pain you might be experiencing after tonight. You were a virgin. You never told him, but he never asked. You assumed he already knew. You had no clue where you stood with him, but the liquor told you to go find out.

You fought to find Tommy in the crowded hallways, trying your hardest not to get lost in the “congratulations” people threw your way.

Suddenly, you felt his presence nearby. Like you could sense where he was, you turned around to peer through the crowd. He was sitting alone in an empty room to your right, down the hallway. The door of the room was only cracked open and the lights were dim around him. Your body froze as your eyes followed his line of sight from above him in the dimly lit room.

A tall woman came into view, with fiery red hair and a slim figure. She leaned over Tommy, whispering something in his ear, her diamond encrusted necklace dangling in his face. It sparkled off his deep blue eyes.

You could almost make out the growl he let out in response as he pulled her forcefully onto his lap. She wrapped her delicate fingers around his neck as he shoved his face in between her chest, kissing her skin so softly. His hands, the hands that you so desperately wanted all over your skin, we’re gripping this beautiful woman’s instead.

The entire room and people around you faded into the background. Your ears rang out and you couldn’t look away from them. The more you gawked, the harder it was to pull yourself away. On your fucking wedding night of all days. Sure, you didn’t think that you’d be his last fuck, but surely not tonight. Maybe this was just the way of his world. This is what you signed on for.

Your vision blurred as tears flooded out. Your body suddenly felt 1000 pounds heavier as the blood pulsed through your ears.

“Darling, is everything alright?” Polly’s soft voice purred behind you, not noticing the scene Tommy was so obviously making down the hall.

Blinking once to free your eyes, you wiped them away just as quickly. Forcing yourself back to reality. In that very moment, something inside of you awakened, something devious, but also something very fucking angry. Deciding to shut your emotions off, you turned to her kind eyes.

“Oh just lovely Polly. But it is my wedding night and now that I’m officially a Shelby, I intend to drink like one. Join me?” You said so effortlessly, shocking yourself with the confidence you oozed out instantly.

Polly’s eyes nearly popped out of her head, giving you a questioning look. She’d never heard you stutter out more than a few words to her or anyone in the family, really. She took you for the shy and submissive type, which to be fair, you were. But not right now, not tonight. He wouldn’t take this night from you.

After a few seconds of silence, her mouth slid up into a devilish grin.

————————————————————————

It didn’t take long before all of the worries and pain dripped off your shoulders, evaporating into the air around you. At some point, Polly and her strange friends that surrounded her had disappeared into the crowds, chatting away with people you didn’t know.

The jazz music blared from the small band Tommy had hired for the night. Your body moved and swayed to it as you stood lazily at the bar. You hadn’t seen Tommy since he was eye-fucking whoever the hell that woman was. You told yourself that he was the last person you wanted to see. But it was a lie. You’d always want to fight for his attention or even his devotion.

But suddenly, like a fucking ghost, you felt the back of your neck prickle and your palms sweat. You knew he was close by, you could feel it in the way the air thinned and the way people’s back straightened.

You decided to not look around for him. If he needed you, he’d find you, but you were sure he didn’t give single fuck what you were up to.

Your eyes scanned the ridiculous bar and landed on the tall man to your left. He was sitting opposite, staring up at you as he brought his glass to his pink lips. You stared, a bit taken aback by his boldness. He lowered his glass, never looking away. You threw him a playful smile, never looking away.

His skin was tan, opposite of Tommy’s. His eyes were almond shaped and honey coated. His aggressively large shoulders and slim torso enticed you as his body seemed to lean forward, preying on you.

Without your mind fully catching up, your body moved slowly towards him, but not before you shot back another glass of champagne.

“I have a feeling you’re the designated wedding crasher?” You almost whispered as you sat down on the stool beside him.

His eyes softened, and his grin turned even wider at your examination of him.

“What makes you so sure?” He sipped on his glass, his loosely slicked back hair tumbling into his face as he moved.

“Because only an enemy would try provoking Mr.Shelby by making eyes at his new wife…especially on her wedding night.” You giggled, lazily crossing your thighs together.

He didn’t miss the movement. His eyes traced over your body, stopping at your exposed thighs before meeting your face again.

“Well you don’t seem to mind, do ya love?” His voice turned husky as he leaned in closer, making you do the same.

You looked past the man’s shoulder, zeroing in on those deadly blue eyes, watching you from the corner of the room.

Bingo.

Now you had his attention. You didn’t even give a shit how much trouble you and this mystery man would be getting into. He clearly wasn’t welcome here anyways, whoever he is.

You smirked at Tommy, never taking your eyes off of him as you leaned even closer, pulling the man’s neck closer to you, putting your lips to his ears.

Before you could even get a word out, Tommy was stomping towards you both. You slowly let the man go and watched in awe as Tommy grabbed the man by the back of his collar, pulling him off the chair. His back slammed onto the floor, making the entire room fall silent.

Unfazed, you sipped on a glass of champagne in your hand, watching Tommy’s anger boil over, ready and waiting for your own punishment.

He placed both feet on each side of the man, whipping out his pistol effortlessly from under his coat and pointing it in his face.

“Fuck off.” Is the only words he spoke to the man, but they were deadly enough to make any person run away in fear.

The man didn’t need to be asked twice before he pushed himself up and stomped to the front door. Well that was easy enough.

As Tommy holstered his gun and brushed his pants off, the band began to play again as everyone slowly continued on with the party. As the noise picked up, he finally turned to me, eyes on fire.

He yanked me from the stool by the arm, dragging me down the hall and up the stairs. You giggled your way up, too drunk to even care how mad he was.

He threw you into his room, slamming the door shut behind him. Stumbling back, you cocked an eyebrow up at him, challenging him.

“Are you that fucking dense? Are you trying to embarrass me or do you just not give a fuck?” He voice was filled with disgust. While his tone was vile, his composure was also slipping.

You tapped your pouty lips with your finger like you were thinking hard.

“I was so lonely, husband. I just needed some attention.” You giggled, skipping towards him lightly, your chest bouncing out of your low cut dress. Ignoring his insult completely, you batted your thick lashed at him.

His eyes shot down to your chest but they were still full of fury.

“Oh I see! Only you are allowed to play tonight.” You said in an annoyed tone.

His shoulders rolled back and he tilted his head in suspicion. He knew you knew.

Seeing the realization in his eyes, you rolled your own, turning your back on him. Before you could take another step, he yanked your arm back, pushing you into his chest. You yelped, attempting to push him off of you, but his grip on you was too tight.

“Fuck off, Tommy. Let me go.” You said, finally dropping the whole “I don’t care” act. His fingers dug into your sides so hard you knew they would bruise.

His eyebrows shot up to his fucking hairline, letting out a laugh that was deadly.

He pinched your cheeks with one hand, forcing you to look at him.

“You’re hurting me! Let go!” You whimpered out. He used his other hand to pin your hands behind your back. He rotated both of your bodies, pushing you again the wall with a loud thud. You winced in pain.

He pressed your face into the thick walls, shoving his nose into yours.

“This is my house. I can do whatever or whoever the fuck I want, ya hear me? You may not act like a whore.”

You didn’t feel scared or threatened. You felt fucking rage. It was bubbling up inside of you, clawing at your throat.

“I wouldn’t have to act like a whore if my husband could do the fucking job himself.” You said at an angry whisper.

His eyes darkened and his lips curved up into a smirk.

“You’re awfully cheeky tonight, love. What happened to my submissive little pet?” He cocked his head to the side, making you shudder.

His hand curled it’s way around your throat, squeezing a bit too tight.

You preferred being good for him. But you were still too angry for that.

“Fucking other women on your wedding night…that’s gotta be a bad omen or something, no?” You squeaked.

“What makes you think I fucked her?” He chuckled, examining the way your body was pushing into him.

“Because you have quite the reputation for acting like a whore yourself.”

You yelped as his palm smacked the side of your cheek, not hard enough to hurt you, but enough to get your attention.

Without another word, he let you go, but not before forcing you to your knees as he pushed your shoulders down. Finally.

Quickly, he freed his cock from under his dress pants.

“That naughty mouth of yours needs to be taught a lesson.” He growled before forcing your jaw open with his hands. Before you could process what was happening next, he was shoving his cock down your throat.

You moaned at the sensation, greedily trying to take back control. You bobbed your head back and forth, using your tongue to swirl around the tip of his cock. You were a virgin, yes. But you’d had a few dicks down your throat before. Maybe none as big as his though.

His hand fisted into your hair, taking control of the rhythm. As he forced himself farther and farther down your throat, you gagged, drool dripping out onto your chin.

Both of your eyes were locked onto each other as you let him fuck your mouth relentlessly. You folded your hands behind your back, letting him have the control he desperately seeks.

He smiled sweetly at you.

“There she is. My good girl.” He said huskily, not stopping his relentless movements.

Your pussy clenched around nothing at his words, making you moan around his cock again, sending vibrations up his body.

Your thighs opened up and you attempted to rub small circles into your clit, trying to relieve the built up tension between your legs.

As he watched you, he pulled out of your mouth and smacked your hand away from yourself.

“You ask for permission to touch that needy pussy. It’s mine now.”

You whimpered, wishing he would stuff your mouth full of him again. Noticing your expression, he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth.

“Get on the bed. I need to be inside you.”

Your body froze for a second, preparing yourself for your innocence to be taken away.

“Tommy…I’ve never-

“I know. You think I would have waited to fill that pussy with my cock until tonight if you weren’t?” He stalked over to you, placing his open hand out for you to take. You do, standing to your feet and allowing him to lead you to the bed.

He stalked behind you and you felt his fingers zip down your dress and push it off your body slowly, finally exposing you naked body to him for the first time. Goosebumps covered your skin as you could feel his eyes all over you.

His hands snaked around your stomach from behind, slowly reaching down and stopping above your pelvic bone.

You were desperate for his touch.

He leaned over from behind you, forcing your head back to kiss your lips softly as his hands crept up and down your thighs. Every one of your nerve endings were set on fire as his unfamiliar hands touched your skin.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit inside me..” you whispered, resting your head on his chest.

He smiled knowingly, kissing your nose. His changing moods were giving you whiplash.

“It will, love. It’ll hurt at first…” he kissed down your neck, sending goosebumps down you again.

“But I promise I’ll make it feel so good.” He whispered in your ear, biting at your lobe.

He pushed you towards the bed and you laid flat on your back, almost shaking with anticipation.

The only exposed part of his body was his throbbing cock standing center.

His eyes devoured every inch of your body before he hovered over you, kissing your cheeks softly.

“Tommy.” You whispered, your hands wrapping around the back of his neck.

His eyes lifted to find yours.

“Please be gentle with me?” You watched as his eyes softened for only a second and quickly changing to mischief.

“Relax, love. Do you want this?”

“Of course I do.”

He smiled down again, giving you one last kiss before he lined himself up with your pussy. Your body stiffened as you felt him tease you, rubbing the head of his cock against your slick slit.

“Beg for it.”

You did as you were told.

“Please, Tommy…I cant wait anymore.”

“Good girl…you feel how wet you are? You’re ready for me.” He moaned out as suddenly the head of his cock popped through your entrance making you gasp.

Your hands shot to his shoulders, trying to find comfort in him.

He brushed his nose against your neck, making you shiver. He inched in further before stopping to let you adjust to his size.

He groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head.

“I’m going to push all the way in now, ok?“

You shook your head, ready to get the pain over with.

“Fuck!” You yelled as he plunged into you, breaking through the thin wall inside of you so easily.

“Shhhhh…I’ll make it feel better.” he cooed, taking his hand to wrap your leg around his waist. He froze again, letting you adjust.

“Tommy, please fucking move!” You wined as the pain was too much to bear.

He chuckled, moving all the way out just to thrust back in again.

“Christ, this pussy was made for me, y/n. It’s all mine…you’re all mine.” The use of your name made your head reel.

After moving in and out of you a few more times, your body relaxed. You pushed him into you with you legs, reveling in the pain mixed with the pleasure.

“How does it feel?” He moaned out, pinching your nipples between his fingers.

Your back arched up off the mattress, chasing his touch.

“So fucking full…” you barely mumbled out as his pounding never relented.

Thrusting inside of you once more, he flipped you with ease so you were on top of him.

You froze for a second, feeling intimidated by this position. But you couldn’t deny it. You liked the way he looked under you, eyes glazed over and mouth popped open in ecstasy.

Noticing your timidness, he squeezed you hips, signaling for you to move up and down.

“Fuuuck..” you panted out, tilting you head back and planting your hands on his chest. Like your body knew exactly what to do, you slowly found a pace, moving up and down on his dick.

“Good job, love. Just like this.” He led your hips up and down, meeting your hips with his own.

You pulled the buttons of his vest apart, exposing more of his broad figure, but still fully clothed. For some reason, you liked how exposed you were and how covered up he was.

His encouraging words boosted your ego, making you bounce faster and faster on him. You felt him pulsing inside of you. The sounds of your skin slapping together and the shared panting and moans drowned out the music from behind the door.

He used his palm to push you back down, forcing you to lay flat on his chest. He took the opportunity to lift your ass and fuck up into you. Shots of pleasure were

You let out a guttural scream that you were sure someone would have heard. Riding him felt good, but this felt intoxicating. Your body was at the complete mercy of his movements. A knot started to form in the pit of your stomach, pulling tighter and tighter around you.

“I think I’m-

“Yeah, I can feel you squeezing around me. Come for me, please.” He panted out. Did Thomas Shelby just say ‘please’?!

He pushed his hand in between your bodies, letting his thumb draw circles along your protruding clit with one hand while the other lifted your ass up and down onto him. This can’t be what sex feels like for every man. This is what sex feels like with Tommy. You felt like he was finally seeing you and you were finally seeing him for the very first time. He smiled up at you, watching you find yourself through him. A sense of belonging and power washed over you and you let all of your fears of Tommy go…in that moment at least.

Seeing flashes of a vulnerable Tommy was fascinating. He never let his guard down around you, except for right now. He had completely fell into this moment, your bodies moving as one, like you’d done this 100 times before.

You sunk your claws into his thinly covered chest, leaning your head into his neck as he fucked you through your orgasm. Thousands of tiny sparks ignited inside of you. Your body tightened as you silently screamed in pleasure.

He didn’t stop even after you came down. He flipped you over to your back again, chasing his own release now.

You both groaned out as your back hit the mattress and he pounded into you with such force. His hand lifted your leg up to rest on his shoulder, pulling at your tight walls.

“I’m gonna put a babe in here…plant my fucking seed in you.” He growled. Normally, you’d reject this. But fuck, you didn’t care right now. You wanted to know what it felt like when his cum shot up into you.

His thrusts became sloppy and his free hand held your chin in place, not allowing you to look away as he finally came inside of you.

The whimpers that left his mouth as he stared down into your soul. You smile deviously, now addicted to this vulnerable expression. You wanted to see that drunken-on-lust look over and over again.

Both of you panted over each other, not moving from inside of you. You could see in his eyes that something had changed between the two of you. He had finally made his mark on you and you were now a brand new woman. A woman with power and needs, that he would happily fulfill for you whenever you wanted.

He giggled cheekily, letting his head fall to his shoulder.

You chuckled, sitting up on your elbows.

“Come here.” He said softly, reaching his hands out for you to take.

Finally, he pulled out with a gasp, watching your pussy as the cum dripped out of you. He used his two rough fingers to collect the excess and brought it to your mouth. You eagerly sucked off the juices on his fingers, greedy to know what it tasted like when you were mixed together.

He slowly led you up and towards the connecting bathroom, starting a hot bath. It was sweet, the way he was trying to take care of you now. You would’ve never expected this type of treatment from him before. You had broken down his wall, at least a small bit.

You watched as he finally removed the clothes from his back. You were gawking at the way his tight muscles moved when he did.

Normally, you’d be shy about standing there naked in front of someone, especially him. But not anymore. He’d taken away the awkwardness and the fear you usually had around him, and you were thankful for that.

With the bath filled almost to the brim, he undressed completely, exposing all of him to me now. He sunk down into the water with a groan and held out his hand for you to join him.

You smiled, stepping and sinking in too. You hissed as the water hit your hips, feeling the sting between your legs. You rested your back against his chest. You hummed in satisfaction as you let you head rest against his hard body.

His hands snaked around your stomach in the water and he leaned his chin against your neck. You loved the way his skin felt on yours. This is the longest you’d ever been around Tommy without feeling on edge.

“Shouldn’t we be out there entertaining all of your fancy friends?” You giggled, feeling him smile against your skin.

“That’s the last thing on my mind right now. Polly and Ada can handle it. Im right where I need to be.”

You craned your head to press your lips on his. The both of you seemed different now. The softness he showed was only reserved for you.

You didn’t feel pain or regret. You felt calm and happy to be wrapped in his strong arms.

“Y/n?” He whispered, making you look up at him.

“If you ever pull something like that again, I won’t be as forgiving. You’re all mine from now on, understand?” He brushed the water up and down your arms soothingly.

You shuddered into the hot water, squeezing his arm as a sign of affection and remorse, for some reason. But you couldn’t even be mad at him anymore. He fucked all of the anger and jealousy out of you.

“And you’re mine, too.” You stated without questioning yourself and letting you eyes fall shut.

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#peaky blinders #tommy shelby #tommy shelby fanfic #thomas shelby #tommy shelby x reader #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders x reader #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby one shot #cillian murphy

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heart-of-the-morningstar · 4 months

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Guess who's back with another super short preview of yet another Luci x reader smut fic :)

it's me I'm so very unwell for him, I need to be put down

No NSFW yet so no warnings (but mention of losing clothes)!

It had been a pretty quiet day in house. Lucifer was off with his daughter Charlie for the day, they’ve had quite a bit of father/daughter bonding to catch up on. But this gave you the chance to work on something that you’ve been wanting to make for some time now. It was a secret project, keeping things from Lucifer was harder than it seemed. But with the home to yourself, you were finally able to finish the gift you wanted to give him! Just as you were admiring your work, a portal opened up behind you; Lucifer was back! Quickly, you hid his gift under your pillow before he could see anything. Lucifer stepped through the portal and into your bedroom; you noticed his wings spread out behind him.

“Hi, honey,” you greeted as you walked over to him, planting a small peck on his forehead. He smiled, grabbing your hand and placing a kiss on it in return. “How was your day with Charlie?”

“It was really nice! We went for a little flight, as you can tell,” he laughed, gesturing to his wings. Lucifer’s wings always left you in awe, you couldn’t help but stare at them. But upon further inspection, you saw that they seemed a little worse for wear. You wondered when the last time they were properly taken care of, since you've never seen him actually do anything with them.

“Hey Luci, your wings are looking a little…” you hesitated, looking for the right word, “disheveled. Is everything alright?”

"Ahh," Lucifer sighed, "yeah, I uhh...I'll admit, I haven't paid them much attention. Not in a long while."

You knew that he had been by himself for a long time before you came along. He had mentioned his battles with self isolation and depression that he had fought against for years, but he was never too keen on going into more detail than necessary. Looking back, it would make sense as to why his wings are in the state that they are. It saddened you, you wished you could have been there for him. It was time to make up for that.

"How about this," you proposed, "why don't I run us a bath and I'll help you clean them up. How does that sound?"

"O-Oh, are you sure?," he questioned, failing to hide the fact that his cheeks were now flushed. "They're kind of a pain, I don't want you to-" you cut off his protests with a peck. You felt his lips curl into a smile.

"Nothing's a pain when it comes to you, Lucifer," you assured. "Go get ready and I'll see you in a few minutes, alright? Tonight, let me take care of you."

"Of course," he grinned, "thank you, my angel."

You smiled and turned towards the bathroom that was connected to your bedroom. It was fortunate that Lucifer had such a spacious home, that meant a more spacious bathroom as well. His bathtub could easily fit four people comfortably, but this at least gave you room to be able to work with his wings. You turned the water on to a nice warm temperature, making sure it wasn't too hot. You undressed as the bathtub began to fill, grabbing a soft washcloth from the closet and bubble bath soap after discarding your clothes. Once the tub was half full, you poured the soap in, letting it mix with the running water. The bubbles appeared fast, you couldn't see that water anymore after a few seconds. Finally, you brought the flow to a stop and dipped your toes in to test that waters. Perfect. You stepped in and slowly began to sink down into the warm liquid that heated your core. As soon as you were fully submerged, you heard the bathroom door creaking behind you.

#lucifer morningstar #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #lucifer smut #my writing #i'm going super tender with this one :)#don't worry there will be filth!#yes it's midnight and i'm posting this WHAT ABOUT IT??

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gaias-space · 2 months

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DEAN WINCHESTER X FEM! READER X ENEMIES TO LOVERS

“Dean we’ve got nothing!” You shout frustrated. “Is Sam sure there’s even a case?” You sink in the chair of the building you were in. Sam was at the bunker with a busted knee, so he assigned the next best person he knew to hunt alongside Dean, you. You were skilled, had years of experience, and smart. You’d known the boys for years, Sam admired you, but Dean…he never knew why but you rubbed him the wrong way. But you too felt the same. Neither of you got along, you were on the brink of ripping each other’s throats at any time you were around each other. But when it came to a job both of you tried putting that aside to get the job done and then wouldn’t have to worry about seeing each other for another few months or for both yours sakes, years.

“Yeah I’m thinking that too, but the mass of deaths in this town…it’s off. But where the hell is the evidence” Dean says also frustrated. It was late, you were exhausted. And Dean, refusing to admit it, was also tired. “Alright well how about tomorrow we head into the town and speak with the local sheriff” you suggest: Dean agrees “yeah. You’re right, we’re going to have to check it out tomorrow because god…I’m so tired.” The two of you yawn. “it’s gettin late. And I want some food, I’m starving”. Deans voice was low, never once looking you in the eye. “There’s a motel not far from here, we’ll have to crash there and tomorrow we’ll look for more answers” you say. Deans brows crease and he hisses frustrated. “oh hell no. No way am I putting up with your ass got a whole night. There has to be someone who can give us any sort of information” he turns around slowly gesturing to the remaining people in the office. Your heart ached and you took a step back. “Ass” you murmur under your breath. “Dean it’s nine at night, we’ve been up since six. Not a person here has given us any- or much useful information. I say we try investigating the sheriffs office tomorrow but we need sleep and we need to do this for Sam.” your voice hopeful. Dean rolls his eyes frustrated. “Yeah…you’re right.” His voice deep and filled with annoyance. Sam had felt depressed for weeks while he was in the mend, seeing his eyes light up knowing there was a case- well how could you not do it? You sit in silence in the impala, Dean blasts his favourite songs with full intention of drowning you out if you even tried to speak. He couldn’t stand your voice, he couldn’t stand your excited rambling when you discovered something he couldn’t stand you. He just wanted this case to be over, and he was regretting taking this one since it’s taking a lot longer then he wanted it to be. The car ride was painfully long, but you couldn’t help the loud sigh of relief when Dean says “we’re here”. He pulls into a small parking lot and a small motel building. He pulls the car into an empty lot, turns the car off and looks at you. “One night, and first thing Tomorrow morning, bright and early, crack of dawn, sunny-“

“Alright, alright I get it Jesus!” You wave a hand in dismissal. “God you really are the worst” you say exiting his car, refusing to hear another word. It was now closer to ten pm, you were tired and exhausted, but now more irritated then ever. The two of you enter the small building to boom a room. In the office was a thin, scrawny young man. “H-hey what can I do for yous tonight?” He says with a squeaky voice. He has to be young, or this is his first job. Dean stands in front of you, dominant like always. “We need a room” he demands. The nervous kid flicks through the motel book and sighs happily. “Ah perfect! We have one room left and it’s perfect for you lovely couple it’s a-“

“Excuse me?” Dean interrupts. The boy chokes and there’s a shakiness to hos voice again. “Well uh there’s one room available. One double bed…”

“No! No none of that! We sure as hell ain’t a couple! Listen buddy we need two rooms or two beds anything else!” Dean slams his fist on the desk, startling the boy. You can’t help but chuckle at the situation, of course this would happen to you. “Oh I’m so sorry sir…I didn’t mean to assume. But we’re all out, that’s the last room we’ve got tonight.”

Dean sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Is there another motel nearby?” His voice lowered. “I mean not for another four hours…”

“Four hours!? What kind of city is this- god…just..fine. That will do.” He says in defeat. The boy nervously grabs the key and hands it to Dean. “C-can I have a name?…for the book I mean”. You couldn’t help. But feel sorry for the kid. He looked like he was about to wet himself. But Dean was an asshole, he had that effect on a lot of people. “Kyle Maddison” Dean says. He always used an alias especially on a job. You sank in the waiting seat you were tired, exhausted, trusted, disappointed now. The one thing you wanted was sleep, and also to get this job done and not see Dean again. But of course this had to happen. As much as you wanted to put up a fight, the idea of sleep sounded marvellous. Dean finishes up and turns around storming out the door not waiting for you. Why would he? You follow along and find yourselves at room 403. “Can’t fucking believes this” he mutters. You enter the room and he throws his bags on the small table. Both of you look at the double bed in the room. Now there was the elephant in the room. “Well what are we going to do now?” You say. Dean takes his jacket off and kicks his shoes off. “I dunno about you sweetheart but sleep sounds great right about now and this bed- oh she’s calling my name”. He smiles at the furniture and falls o to the comfortable looking mattress. “Excuse me?” You say annoyed. Dean just st looks at you confused, as if you should already somehow know the answer. “What?” Your jaw drops and you scoff. “Where the hell am I gonna sleep? Why don’t I get the bed? Ladies first and all?” Dean lets out a choked laugh “ha! Honest I paid for the room. I get the bed. And I sure as hell ain’t sharin’ so.”- he darts his eyes at the floor. A small space beside the bed that could fit your body with a little extra room. “You’ve got to be kidding me Dean” you growl. “Your fucking ridiculous” you shout. “Well that’s not my problem now is it? You’re lucky I even let us stay in here. Lucky I even paid for us to have the room. Speaking of”- deans eyes dart to the mini fridge. “Bingo”. He rolls his body out of bed and raids the mini fridge. “You know you have to pay for that?” You attempt to ruin his joy. But he just shrugs. “Ah fake credit cards, never paid a dollar for these in my life” he says muffled as he shoves chips into his mouth. “You’re actually ridiculous my god”. You couldn’t believe he was making you sleep on the floor. You notice there was a small ensuite. Perfect, a shower. Just what you needed after today. Showers always made you feel better no matter what kind of day you’ve had. And perhaps this would help with this sleeping arrangement. “I’m going for a shower” is all you say as you enter the bathroom and shut the door behind you. Dean continued stuffing his face with drinks and snacks.

***

The shower was warm and refreshing, the water trickled down your body and the rosy scented soap suds drizzled down you and into the drain. For a moment you had forgotten all about your worries. Just the warmth and comfort of the shower. You had been in there for quite some time and you were now at the brink of passing out from tiredness. You quickly finish in the shower and dress yourself in satin sleepwear, another comfort item. You open the ensuite door and are greeted with the smell of pizza. “Dean. Did you get pizza?” You ask in shock and confusion. You watch as Dean shovelled down a pizza, noticing the delivery recipet hanging on the bed. “Yeah…well, the snacks didn’t fulfill my hunger so I ya know- got food.” You could barely make out his words while he chewed. The smell of pepperoni wafted in your nose and you felt your stomach ache. You too were starving and hadn’t eaten for hours either. And now it was almost sickening. “It was a two for one special so I got you a cheese pizza” deans voice interrupts your thoughts and he points to a box on the bed. With a shocked expression you move your way to the box and take it “uh…thank you” you mutter. “Pfft didn’t do it for you. Almost considered eating that one myself. You just got lucky tonight that’s all” how voice was cold and sarcastic. Would he ever lighten up? Rolling your eyes you sit on a small stool and shovel the pizza in your mouth. More time had passed and it was closer to midnight, your stomach was full, Dean was now lying in bed trying to sleep and you, you were making a makeshift bed on the floor. as you made your bed, you huff and puffed and made all kinds of sounds expressing your annoyance and frustration with your sleep arrangement, hoping it would get a reaction out of Dean. “Look I ain’t happy about it either, the sooner we get this done the better it will be alright? You fight demons and all kinds supernatural beasts but you can’t sleep On the floor? pfft make that make sense” he snarks. Rolling your eyes you finally lay down on the hard, rough carpeted floor and attempt to find a comfortable position. “Yet, you’re too afraid to share the bed” you respond. Dean doesn’t reply he rolls over facing away from you and attempts to sleep. He couldn’t help but feel a little bad for making you sleep on the floor, it was cruel even for him, but he refused to kill his ego and sleep in the same bed with you. Soon he shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep. And you, you tossed and turned for another hour trying to get comfortable until sleep finally took you and you fell into a deep rest.

Hours had gone by, it was around 4 am when you felt something touch your arm. It’s little legs tickled your fingers, and then your hand, then up to your arms and finally, you woke to the sensation, thinking it was a dream. Your eyes fly open, and you notice and sensation was real. It was a roach from the floor, crawling on your hand. Your eyes widen and an earth shattering scream bursts through your lips. You jump to your feet waving your arm around, throwing the roach into the air. “FUCK! BUG! ROACH! AHHHHH!” You could barely make the words, Dean wakes up in a panic. Your worst fear was bugs. “What the hell Y/N?!” Dean yells. You grasp your knees breathing heaving trying to catch your breath. “There was a - a bug!…crawled on me-“ you pant. Deans face contorts, annoyance and tiredness reading all over him. “You woke me up over a goddamn bug!?” Dean yells. You were still shaken up “it was Crawling in me!” You scream. Dean signs and falls back onto his pillow. “Go to bed. Fuckin pussy” those last words he mutters, but you could still hear him. You look back at your bed, a blanket and a single pillow. If there was one roach, there had to be others. You were exhausted, your eyes barely focusing. Dean grunts and tries to fall back asleep. But no way in hell could you sleep now. What if another crawled on you? What if it went in your mouth? Or bit you somehow? Can Roaches even bite? Well you weren’t gonna try and find out. With a shaky breath you contemplate what to do. The floor was so uncomfortable you knew your back would hurt in the morning, there was also possibly a family of bugs waiting to dance in your body. But there right in front of you was the coziest looking bed right now. You sigh feeling defeated, you knew what his answer would be but you needed to try. You tiptoe over and stare at him for a moment. The moonlight illuminating his features. He looked so peaceful sleeping. His soft lips parted slightly, his arms hugging his pillow. He looked cute, almost like he could be nice. Something he’d never been to you. You reach out a finger and poke his arm, he grunts but doesn’t wake. “Dean!” You whisper. He could not have fallen back asleep that fast. “Dean!” You say louder. He jolts awake again “huh? What? Oh…for god sakes Y/n what are you doing awake? You’re not still scared about a damn bug are you?” His voice deep and tired. “As a matter of a fact yes, I’m horrified. Can I-can I please sleep on the bed? You won’t know I’m even there? Please” you whimper. He rolls his eyes too tired to argue. He was tired, he wanted sleep. Needed it infact. His eyes lazily look at you “no” is all he says before laying his head on the pillow. “But - but”- he doesn’t say a word he closes his eyes and ignores you. ‘You’ve got to be kidding me’ you thought. Well it was worth a shot. You shakily lay back down in your makeshift bed feeling unease. Dean wasn’t asleep, he couldn’t. Not after the guttural scream that came from you. He felt guilty. Why? He wasn’t sure. But it wasn’t fair for you to sleep on the floor. Dean tried everything he could to get comfortable and sleep but all he could hear was you tossing and groaning.

His tired figure rolls across and he props himself up on his arms watching you. Watching your tiny body shake and quiver. ‘God she’s really shaken up over a bug?’ Dean thought. He knew you were completely terrified of them, it was almost pathetic. He couldn’t help but feel dread and guilt. You looked so frightened, that floor did not look comfortable and after all you hadn’t annoyed him too ouch today. Perhaps he shouldn’t be so hard on you, for tonight. His arm hangs down and he shoves your shoulder, starting you awake. “Cmon. Now” is all he says. He pays the mattress beside him I. A sleepy manner before rolling back over. “Don’t make me regret this”. He mumbles. It takes you a second to realise what he said and you jump to your feet. You knew Dean wanted you up bright and early but with the broken sleep you were having, that plan was going to change. You gently slide yourself into the mattress, trying not to disturb Dean. The soft foam supported your back and the pillow under your head was the perfect fineness. Your eyes shut almost immediately, exhaustion overriding you as you fall into a deep sleep. Hours had gone by and both you and Dean had slept in. It was now 10:30 am and neither of you had woken up. The sun beams on your skin, the sound of birds chirped outside.

The second you had placed your head on that mattress you had the sounded sleep Ever. In fact possible too good- Dean was first to wake his eyes slowly blinking open. But he couldn’t move. Sleepily he looks down and it takes a moment before he freezes in place. Your head on his chest. You were sleeping in a ball snuggled tightly into Dean, peacefully sleeping on his chest and one hand over his chest. Drool escapes your lips and trickles onto this shirt. You looked…peaceful. Deans eyes widened. What the hell would he do now?

(Stay Tuned For Part Two…Coming Soon)

#smut #angst #dean smut #dean winchester fic #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester x you #supernatural #dean x y/n #dean winchester #enemies to lovers

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number1mingyustan · 1 year

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Expiration Date (1/2) ☾✹

artist!joshua x model!fem!reader

Genre: smut, hurt, angst

Warnings: cursing, arguing, crying, mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage, mentions of suicide and eating disorders, mentions of depression and cheating, there's an injury, explicit smut, oral (f.), orgasm denial, scratching, unprotected sex, creampie, like a whole lot happens

Summary: In a matter of hours, it all went to shit

Word Count: 3.8k

_______________________________________________

(a/n: inspired by the movie malcom and marie)

part 2

It's cold in the city tonight. It's January in New York, reasonably so. Yet with the frigid air outside, nothing feels colder than the inside of your home. Joshua steps into your shared penthouse first, not even bothering to turn around and look at you when he holds the door open for you.

You trail behind silently.

Everything right now is eerily silent. The floorboards creaking are the only sounds to be heard in your home. There's a thick tension filling the air and it's nauseating.

Joshua darts toward the thermostat, turning up the heat in the frigid house.You're still standing at the door when he turns around and faces you.

"Are you finally going to tell me what I did to piss you off?" he asks.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," you lie, folding your arms together.

He lets out a sigh of exhaustion. "Y/n, midway through the showing tonight you started icing me out. You've been giving me death glares and didn't say a word to me the entire cab ride home. Clearly I've done something to upset you."

You ignore him, intentionally making contact with your shoulder when you brush past him. You walk toward your shared bedroom. "I don't want to fight tonight, I'd rather we just save it until tomorrow."

He lets out another sigh of annoyance before following after you. "It won't have to be a fight unless you make it one Y/n. Just tell me what's pissing you off."

You walk through the halls of the spacious penthouse with Joshua trailing behind. "I promise you right now this won't be a productive conversation and it will turn into a fight. It's after 1 in the morning and I'm tired 'Shua, Just drop it, okay?"

"You know I hate going to bed angry, and you're angry. Just tell me now," he urges.

You stop in front of the door with a sigh before turning to face him. "Not once did you thank me tonight," you say before entering the bedroom and closing the door in his face.

Joshua stands outside the door in shock. What? That's what you've been pissy about half the evening? You drank a bit tonight, and he can only hope it's the alcohol that's making you react this way.

"Y/n," he sighs again. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You heard me the first time!" you call from behind the door. "You thanked the whole fucking world tonight and managed to forget about me!"

He can hear faint rustling through the wooden door. You don’t respond for a bit and the rustling is the only thing he can hear. What the hell are you doing?

"I mean," you scoff. "If you wanted to save face for this relationship you could have at least tried."

"The hell do you mean 'save face'?" he asks, tone full of offense.

The doorknob rattles and you appear with a blanket in hand. All your makeup has been wiped off and you’ve changed into some pyjamas.

"At least making it look like we're happy and this relationship is still going well," you rant, unfolding the blanket and spreading it across the couch.

"I wasn't aware that this was an unhappy relationship for us," he grits his jaw.

"Oh save it',' you roll your eyes. "You know you gave up on us a long time ago."

"I haven't given up on anything!" he shouts. "I can't believe you're accusing me of all this stuff because I didn't say thank you! It was one small mistake tonight!"

You stomp toward him, waving a finger in his face. "It wasn't a small mistake Joshua! It was a big one, and the fact that you can't even realize it is so upsetting! This is about so much more than your mistake tonight too, it's about everything Joshua. It's about the fact it's been nearly six years and I still haven't gotten a ring or half your attention anymore."

He tips his head back and massages his temples annoyedly. "How many times do we have to talk about this? We both agreed we weren't going to get married until–"

"–Until things settled with your career," you cut him off rudely. "I know, but you've been saying that for two years and it feels like you have given up." Your voice breaks as you finish your sentence.

A beat.

Silence fills the room. There are tears welling in your eyes and your jaw is locked as you to hold back your tears.

Truth be told, you were beginning to feel like your biggest fear had come true. That Joshua didn't love you anymore.

You and Joshua first met six years prior at an art event. It was the first time one of his pieces were showcased in an actual gallery. He thought having his art there was going to be what changed his life, but truthfully it was you walking through the door.

You were not supposed to be there, you stumbled into the gallery very drunkenly and nearly knocked over his painting. To this day neither of you know how you ended up there, but you both believe it was fate.

You sniffle quickly. "Whatever, It's almost two, I'm going to sleep. I'm sleeping on the couch, you can take the bed."

You turn around quickly, walking back toward the couch where you cover yourself with the blanket.

Joshua sighs, rubbing his hands on his face as he paces in circles around the penthouse. You hear his footsteps start to grow distant as he walks into the bedroom. When you hear the door close, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

A few minutes later, the door reopens and he comes back into the living room. You sit up, pushing the blanket off your body.

He stands in front of you, now changed into a plain white t-shirt and sweats. “I don’t want to go to bed like this.”

You frown. “I really don’t want to do this with you right now.”

“Well I do,” he states firmly.

You lift yourself off the couch and make your way into the kitchen. "I need a drink," you mumble. He turns around, eyes following you as you bend over and search through the cabinets.

Your head appears again, a bottle of vodka in hand. "Would you like a drink 'Shua?" you ask, purposely not acknowledging his previous statement.

He leans against the couch cushion. "I just told you I'd rather talk, besides I think you've had enough to drink tonight."

You take a glass out of another cabinet, placing it onto the counter and ignoring him deliberately. "I didn't say we won't talk, I just wanted to know if you wanted a drink."

You begin pouring yourself a glass. You glare at him, making intense eye contact as you down the drink. It burns your throat, but it numbs the pain.

He lifts himself off the couch and walks over to you. He stands in front of you, dangerously close. He wraps his hand around the glass in your hand, refusing to break eye contact.

"You thanked everyone but me," your voice cracks again. "Am I really that far out of your mind? You couldn't even say my name? It's like you don't even see me anymore. You spend so much time kissing up to agents and other artists and the whole fucking world for that matter. You know, you thanked Angel 4 times tonight. I counted, four time Joshua. And I couldn't get a single thank you when my face and body are plastered around the whole fucking exhibit! You can't even see me anymore. It's like I'm invisible."

"It's not that baby..." he chews the inside of his cheek. "It was an honest mistake."

"How could you forget about me when I was standing right there? If I'm the quote 'inspiration for all your art? Your muse? Remember that Joshie? How I’m supposed to be the inspiration for everything you do?”

His muse. His inspiration. The apple of his eye.

You were the center of his career.

"I-"

"I mean, I have literally pointed out my issue and haven't gotten so much as an apology yet."

Your grip on the glass tightens. He can feel the tension growing in your hand. You're not angry, you're hurt. He tries to pull the glass our of your grip, but instead it falls to the ground and shatters upon impact.

Shards of glass cover the kitchen floor, but one rather large shard is wedged into your foot. You react immediately, crying out in pain as the glass digs into your flesh.

"Fuck," he curses. "I'm sorry."

He helps you back to the couch, careful not to let anything touch your foot. He bends down in front of you, examining your would. You're gripping the couch, head tilted back and wincing in pain.

He darts out of the living room, grabbing the first aid kit from the bathroom before making his return to you. He kneels before you with a pair of tweezers.

"Alright baby," he coos. "I got you."

He uses the tweezers to remove the glass shard, wincing as you cry out in pain. If he didn't feel bad already, he definitely does now. Once he ensures the glass is no longer in your foot, he cleans your would and wraps it with a bandage.

The penthouse has fallen silent again. You look down at him with tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes. He bites his tongue, knowing that if he speaks it'll only make things worse.

"You know....you didn't even tell me you loved me back when you hung up to phone yesterday."

"What?"

A beat.

"After I called you yesterday while you were at the gallery doing finishing touches for tonight... I told you that I loved you before I said bye... and you know what you said? Nothing."

"I was just busy Y/n," he frowns. "You know I love you. I swear I was just stressed about everything with the showing tonight and it slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

"I just don't understand how it's possible I've been slipping your mind lately. It's like you don't see me anymore 'Shua. You-You look at me but you don't see me, not anymore."

"Stop that," he lifts his body up, seating himself on the couch next to you. "That's not true, I do see you. I see everything about you and I love you for it. You know that. I've been a shitty boyfriend lately and I'm sorry. I-I've been an idiot but you know you're my reason for everything."

His thumb wipes away the fresh tears staining your cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm so so so–mmph"

His apology is suddenly cut off when you kiss him. He doesn't take long to react, melting into your touch and allowing his eyes to fall shut. He cups your cheek with his hand, moving his lips in perfect sync with yours.

You climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. You pull away from the kiss every so slightly, keeping your lips only mere centimeters from his. "That's all I wanted to hear."

He smiles. "So we're fine? Done fighting?

You nod before kissing him again. This time, it grows heated, allowing a new tension to fill the room. His hands fall to your hips, guiding you as you grind your hips against him. He moans into the kiss before pulling away slightly. "Come back to bed," he whispers.

You nod again before reconnecting your lips. He lifts your body up and carries you through the penthouse and into the bedroom. He doesn't bother to close the door, simply dropping you on your bed.

Your nightclothes typically consist of an oversized t-shirt and a thong, providing him easy access. Your shirt has already ridden up, revealing the lacy black thong separating you and him. He kisses down your body, your jaw, your neck, your stomach, your inner thighs.

He drags your underwear down, leaving it pooled at your ankle before burying his head between your thighs. You let out a breathy moan at first contact. His tongue laps your folds, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.

Joshua knew your body like the back of his hand. While he may not always be on his A game within the scope of your relationship, he would make it up to you in bed.

He always knew how to touch you just right. He'd have you falling apart within a matter of minutes. Time and time again he never failed to disappoint.

It was a shame he worked so much. It's been over a month since the two of you were last intimate. You try your best to put it out of your mind, you have him now and that's all that should really matter.

You're gripping his hair as his tongue circles your clit. You're soaking his face, growing more and more aroused as he goes down on you. He's so good with his tongue, providing you with everything you need and more.

You can already start to feel your orgasm approaching. The knot in your stomach is tightening and the pleasure builds in your lower region. You're panting an moaning above him, relishing in how good he's making you feel.

You're so close to the edge, fingers gripping his hair tightly. Your head sinks deeper into the pillow. He's holding your legs open with his arms, tightening his grip.

You're on the brink of an orgasm when he suddenly stops. You whine, holding tightening around nothing as disappointment washes over your body. He lifts his head from between your thighs, a wide smirk is plastered across his face.

"You're always such a tease Joshua," you pout.

"Yeah," he licks his lips. "But you love it."

He presses a quick kiss on your lips before sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. He rids himself of his sweats and boxers, revealing his rock hard cock to your line of sight.

You're practically drooling, the thought of him being inside of you leaving you dripping on the bed beneath you. He hovers over you, dragging the length of his cock along your folds. Your lips are parted as you pant, waiting desperately for him to fuck you.

He manages a soft 'I love you' before slipping his cock inside of you. You both moan out in unison. He stretches you out perfectly, nestling his cock inside of you comfortably.

You wrap your arms around his frame, pulling his body closer to you as he fucks you. His thrusts start slow, gradually picking up in pace. The air is filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, low grunts and groans slipping from Joshua's lips, and your desperate whines and moans. The bed shifts with every thrust, making a soft thud as the frame hits the wall.

"Shit," he curses. "You feel so good-fuck."

He buries his head in the crook of your neck. " 'S been too long since I- since I fucked you. Fuck baby."

You moan out in agreement. Your nails are digging into his back, sure to leave scratch marks. He doesn't mind, he's too caught up in how you're dripping him to really even notice.

"So good 'Shua," you cry out.

He looks down at where the two of you are connected, trailing his hand down to rub circles on your clit with his thumb. You tighten around him at initial contact, causing him to groan rather loudly.

You're on the brink of cumming again. Joshua can feel it, the way you're clenching around him and pushing your hips up to meet his thrusts. Your moans turn to whines and your nails are really digging into his back.

When your orgasm finally hits, it hits hard. You needed this. Your pink vibrator can only provide you with so much, and it's nothing nearly as good as this. He watches you from above as you fall apart around his cock.

He fucks you through it, pace never faltering as you enter a state of bliss. He falls apart only moments after you. You started begging him to cum inside of you and hearing you so desperate was more than enough to have him finishing inside.

You let out a relieved moan as he pumps his cum inside of you. His hips still before he pulls out and falls onto the bed beside you. Both of your chests rise and fall, breathing heavily as you come down from your highs.

The room falls quiet. You're laying on his chest with his arm wrapped around you. You can still feel the heat radiating off of his sweaty body.

"You were right when you said it's been too long since we've done that," your fingers play with his.

He nods in agreement. "I know. I've just been so busy with my art and the few times I'm not, you're doing your shoots and talking with agents."

"Yeah," you blink. "Just would've figured you'd take advantage of it more you know, considering I can't get pregnant or anything."

A beat.

Joshua can't believe his ears. He scoffs, not bothering to look at you before he's rolling out of the bed and redressing himself.

"Where are you going?" you ask.

He doesn't answer you, shutting the bedroom door behind him and leaving you by yourself. He goes back into the living room, settling himself on the couch.

You pull your shirt back over your head before trailing behind. You stand in the living room, leaning against the wall. "What's your problem now?"

"Honestly Y/n, fuck you," he says simply.

You roll your eyes. 'Why are you being so pissy? I said we were done fighting."

"You know, you walked into this house giving me the cold shoulder and placing the blame on me for everything, but you know what Y/n? You're the fucking problem," he scoffs. "I may not be perfect, but you're just a bitch. I have done so much for you and you had the motherfucking audacity to act like I haven't done shit and painted me as the bad guy."

"Fuck you!" you shout.

"No Y/n, fuck you," he spits. "You may be my muse, but if I hadn't started painting you, none of those modeling agencies would have signed you. You would still be a lowlife dropout with nowhere to go. You act like I've treated you like shit even though I have done nothing but care for you over these past six years."

You turn your head away. His words sting and you hate that he's right.

"You had the fucking audacity to say that back in the bedroom like I didn't have to pay for you to be hospitalized after we lost that fucking baby. Like I wasn't there for you when you were depressed and refusing to eat for weeks after it happened. I went to therapy sessions with you and comforted you. I called 911 when you decided to swallow a whole bottle of pills because you couldn't live with yourself after losing the baby."

Tears are brimming the corners of your eyes. Your lips quiver as you try to maintain a straight face. His truthful words are like a stab in the heart.

"I forgave you after you fucked somebody else. Remember that Y/n? Two days after it happened when you disappeared in the middle of the night to go fuck a stranger? You weren't the only one who was fucking hurting. I lost the baby too, and I nearly lost you. That shit did damage, but I put my own hurt aside to care for you. And now you have the audacity to tell me I don't see you? Fuck you."

You stay silent.

"This was a big night for me. I put so much into that fucking showcase, and I'm sorry I didn't thank you. But the least you could do is be happy for me and not do any more damage to this relationship. I know I fucked up, but I was happy tonight and all I wanted to do was come home and celebrate with my girl," he sighs. "You claim that I gave up on this relationship but you started sabotaging it two years ago."

"I never sabotaged us," your voice breaks.

"You did and you know it," he grits. "I get it, you were depressed and going through hell and back. But you tried to push me away. You created a gap between us and it has only gotten bigger since. You say you're upset about the ring, but truthfully do you even want it? Do you actually think you can recite any wedding vows and mean it? To be bound for life and promise to love me forever?"

"I'm going back to bed," you say.

Joshua gets up, grabbing you by the arm. "You started this Y/n. Don't just walk away. You've already got one foot out the door on this relationship!"

"Shut up," you mumble.

"I'm serious. You want that ring so fucking badly, you can have it. But I don't think you really want it. I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with me knowing you won't ever be able to have my kids."

"Shut up," you say louder.

"I think you've wanted me gone ever since the doctors said it wasn't going to happen. And it kills you that we can't have the family you've always wanted."

"SHUT UP!" you finally shout.

Tears are flowing down your face nonstop. You're a sobbing mess, pushing him off of you. "SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!"

"All I wanted was a thank you," you cry. "You made me feel forgettable and I am entitled to my own feelings. I felt hurt tonight."

"Yeah? I felt pretty fucking hurt when you cheated on me. I felt hurt when you gave up on us," he bites back.

"I haven't given up on anything," you sniffle.

"You have! You gave up a long time ago. And yeah, maybe I did forget to tell you I loved you and to thank you. But the only reason you're so hurt is because you know how I've felt for the past two years. To feel the other person slipping away. You can say I've given up all you want, but you did it first."

Eerily silence fills the room once again. The tensions has grown even thicker and it's sickening. It feels like your entire world has come crashing down.

"I'm going back to bed," you say quietly.

He stares at you before mumbling an 'ok.' You turn around taking a few steps in the direction of the bedroom before he stops you.

"Y/n," he calls.

You turn around.

"Thank you," he says.

"You're welcome," you reply.

Your quiet footsteps grow quieter as you make your way to the bedroom. The house feels cold again and there's something tugging at your heart. It's painful and constricting.

You are physically and emotionally drained, and you know he is too. The bed feels so much bigger without Joshua sleeping by your side. You have a hard time falling asleep, as does he.

Everything feels wrong and you can only await when the morning comes.

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this is part 1 of 2 !!

#seventeen smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #joshua seventeen #joshua hong #joshua smut #kpop #seventeen joshua

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