#or a spreadsheet wizard

[ezkel]

Peter showed James and Sirius buzz-feed quizzes as a joke and now they're doing the "what type of bread are you" quiz and then debating which of their bread types is better. turning it into a competition.

they did this in the library once and Remus and Regulus saw them as they were finishing their study session. Because James and Sirius were in the library and looked focused, they assumed they were studying, in shock they approached and were immediately disappointed but not surprised, even slightly relieved that it wasn't another plan to prank people while they study.

they do one of those "which disney prince is my future boyfriend" quizzes and Sirius spends the whole time telling James that he better not get any prince because "you're dead to me if you break up with Regulus for some animated prince" James of course reminds Sirius that none of these princes are Remus.

they have a spreadsheet with all their answers and the scoring chart.

[secretboggy]

reg is a spreadsheets person in a modern AU. i don't make the rules he just Is yk.

james wants to make a spreadsheet to keep track of all his uni assignments but all of his friends either don't know how to help (sirius) or refuse to help (remus and lily), so he goes to the only other person he knows is good that them. maybe sirius made some jokes about reg being a nerd about them or he heard about remus and reg showing off their insane spreadsheets to each other.

and reg is exited becaue new spreadsheet project!!!! oh and james ig. but SPREADSHEET. so he agrees to help

he ends up making exactly what james wants and leaves a bunch of little notes so he knows how to use it, but also explains everything he's doing (cause like. he was a captive audience. who HAS to listen to him talk about this) and james just melts. he thinks is so sweat

anyway he uses it as an excuse to hang out with reg for weeks untill he's fully able to navigate sheets himself and reg Knows this bastard is just making up excuses to hang out. he won't admit it but it's making him lose his mind

[moonyaugust]

the hogwarts quidditch cup recipients (in the 1970s)

1971 - gryffindor, captained by stephen gould (chaser), alongside frank longbottom (keeper), galvin gudgeon (seeker), tommy connolly (beater), damocles belby (beater), maria-gabrielle mcgonagall (chaser), and saoirse o'malley (chaser)

fun fact: this is the first year that fourth-year dormmates frank, galvin, and tommy played quidditch together, as galvin had been unsuccessful previously at usurping the longstanding seeker before him, selina sapworthy. the trio are referred to as "the dream team" and remain legends in gryffindor history for their coordination and communication on the field (though stephen remembers them as major pains in his ass)

1972 - ravenclaw, captained by keaton flitney (chaser), alongside gordon horton (keeper), hector lamont (seeker), jordanna bodiment (beater), ethan lima (beater), riya patel (chaser), and michael mckinnon (chaser)

fun fact: ravenclaw was considered an underdog at the start of the season, having poor performances. tragedy befell the team when connor watson, their beater, suffered a spinal injury after a fall, all but dooming the team. however, connor's childhood friend ethan stepped up, despite never having played the sport before, and joined the team, receiving intensive coaching from captain keaton and jordanna for hours every night. ultimately, it was a well-timed blow from ethan that knocked slytherin's seeker, steve laughalot, out of the way for hector to grab the snitch. the afterparty was so raucous that ethan allegedly awoke in hogsmeade the morning after with a unicorn while undressed (or so he tells it)

1973 - hufflepuff, captained by lennox campbell (seeker), alongside lachlan mackenzie (keeper), alison denbright (beater), sturgis podmore (beater), georgia clark-day (chaser), alasdair maddock (chaser), and amos diggory (chaser)

fun fact: this team was plagued by conflict, predominantly between alasdair and lachlan, who were dormmates and rivals. alasdair believed himself better at the sport and resented lennox's obvious mentorship of lachlan, while lachlan disapproved of alasdair's poor attitude. disputes in the air during a match were common between the two, however things got ugly at the hufflepuff afterparty when alasdair confronted lennox about who the captain would be the next year, and punched him after finding out lachlan would be the next quidditch captain. (the pair never resolved their conflict, and it is widely believed that alasdair's refusal to follow lachlan's leadership cost them at least four years of winning the cup)

1974 - ravenclaw, captained by riya patel (chaser), alongside dirk cresswell (keeper), septima vector (seeker), jordanna bodiment (beater), ethan lima (beater), hector lamont (chaser), and emmeline vance (chaser)

fun fact: the final match between gryffindor and ravenclaw was incredibly close, with a final goal being scored in the last seconds of the game by hector. the gryffindors and hufflepuffs rioted, believing the game was stolen from captain frank longbottom, whom the two houses believed deserved to win in his final quidditch game at hogwarts. frank was forced to make a speech before his unsettled house, declaring that they lost fair and square and offering his congratulations to riya and the ravenclaw team. despite this, it is widely believed that four third-years from gryffindor pranked the celebration party, leaving a number of ravenclaw students bald for a full day.

1975 - slytherin, captained by emma vanity (chaser), alongside arnold peasegood (keeper), regulus black (seeker), dorcas meadowes (beater), lucinda talkalot (beater), greta catchlove (chaser), and catriona mcclintock (chaser)

fun fact: slytherin returned to the win following a nearly ten year rut, during which time the leaderships of steve laughalot and stuart craggy were deeply unpopular among the students due to their lax styles. emma became known as a drill sergeant, recruiting three new players and running intensive practices. while her friendship and mentorship of players from other houses attracted scrutiny, the team dominated the season and secured a victory. of note during the final match was the dogged pursuit of sirius black, the beater for gryffindor, who seemed more intent on chasing his younger brother regulus than hitting bludgers, which ultimately cost gryffindor the game

1976 - slytherin, captained by emma vanity (chaser), alongside denison frisby (keeper), regulus black (seeker), bernie pillsworth (beater), lucinda talkalot (beater), greta catchlove (chaser), and sloan travers (chaser)

fun fact: emma's time as captain was not without controversy, as her outspoken hatred of blood purist views was known. during her first two years as captain, she faced pushback from those such as aled travers, rabastian lestrange, and andrew selwyn, whom she believed sabotaged their efforts at winning the house cup in order to oust her as captain. her long-standing conflict with bernie pillsworth was also well-known, with emma removing him from the team the year prior but he returned due to a lack of other options. bernie later claimed to his friends that he had imperioed emma and thus had led the team himself. a day later he was found injured in the corridors by juliette wilkes, who very kindly brought him to the hospital wing and was never suspected of any wrongdoing

1977 - hufflepuff, captained by amos diggory (chaser), alongside eleanor gibbs (keeper), hestia jones (seeker), ludo bagman (beater), diana lavery boot (beater), clara jones (chaser), and rosalind bungs (chaser)

fun fact: this tight-knit group rode the wave of renewed hufflepuff support all the way to the house cup. amos, long expected to sign a contract with the tutshill tornados after graduation, had been rumoured to have turned down their offer due to his girlfriend, former gryffindor seeker edith kent, falling pregnant. amos' popularity and reputation as a genuine, affable man, as well as his skill at the sport, led to gryffindor and ravenclaws' full support of hufflepuff against the slytherins during the final match, with amos scoring the winning goal. edith was in the audience despite having previously graduated, and ran out onto the pitch to congratulate amos, at which point he proposed. younger hufflepuffs often cite this moment as an inspiration

1978 - gryffindor, captained by james potter (chaser), alongside ashley sanders (keeper), richard carter (seeker), darren floyd (beater), marlene mckinnon (beater), dahlia fleur-peri (chaser), and sirius black (chaser)

fun fact: the 1977-78 season was marked by crisis on all sides: regulus black left the slytherin team, and a lack of available options forced a trained beater, mabel dashalot, to step in as seeker. hestia jones stepped down as captain of the hufflepuff team partway through the season but remained as a seeker, leading to ludo bagman taking over captainship. seeker for the ravenclaw team, jade prewitt, was suspected to have been poisoned and was replaced by gilderoy lockhart until the end of the season. finally, gryffindor chaser zadie blumberg collapsed on the pitch during the second to last match, forcing former beater sirius black to join the team for the final match against hufflepuff, where they ultimately won.

1979 - gryffindor, captained by ashley sanders (keeper), alongside richard carter (seeker), darren floyd (beater), tamsin hillicker (beater), jude vance (chaser), dahlia fleur-peri (chaser), and zola morgan (chaser)

fun fact: ashley is the daughter of previous gryffindor captain and current coach of the wigtown wanderers, natalie holkham. a soft-spoken and gentle woman, ashley invested hours of her time into personally training the three youngest and most inexperienced members of her team, that being jude, tamsin, and zola, much as her mother had mentored her as a child. she is considered one of if not the best captain in gryffindor quidditch history, and joins the golden era of gryffindor captains alongside stephen gould, frank longbottom, and james potter.

1980 - season cancelled after the death of jude vance in february of 1980

fun fact: none.

[lionfanged]

trying to decide how to connect with more of y'all as i feel like i haven't been doing a v good job of engaging with my mutuals, so i am engaging in... a poll!! p much deciding how i need to outreach to my moots.

[fantasyfantasygames]

Several Short Games, Part 2

Last time I got through about half of the games that Lily gave me. Here's the rest of them, including the one that's much longer than the others.

queerweird (Jeni Usborn, 2016) The game queerweird (lowercase mandatory) is an asymmetrical indie game for three people in shorts around a fire pit. The game's "safety rules" section directly addresses that last point, and you find out quickly that that's because the resolution mechanics include kicking at the firepit. Other resolution mechanics include yelling loud enough to get an echo or making out with one person until the third one gets uncomfortable. Really, queerweird isn't meant to be played. The art seems mostly like it's Usborn's private kink stash touched up to a minimum of reasonability. Cool stuff: Look, if I didn't sell you on it already then there's no cool stuff in here for you.

Giant Robots on Spreadsheets (Henry Stein, 2007) When you have someone who is very, very mathy writing a game, they generally write about a thousand pages of Very Arithmetic game rules involving space, mecha, or both. I know because I did that once. Mechanical engineer Henry Stein went several steps further. He simplified it all down to reasonable heuristics, transferred it to one massive Excel sheet that did all the work for you, and gave it tabs that would let you look up the rules by keyword. He distributed this at-cost on USB 2.0 keys in .xls format. What's that? You have a computer with a USB 3.0 ports and can only read .xlsx format? Yeah, such was the fate of my mathy space game written in WordPerfect as well. Cool stuff: The game balance is impeccable.

Uncomfortable Erotic Tension Cultivator (ListyMcListerson, 2019). UETC is a two-player game / foreplay tool. It is the 21st-century, slightly grown up, itch-diaspora equivalent of naughty dice. (Not Naughty & Dice, that's different.) Cool stuff: Meant to be used over the course of several days to, as the name says, build tension. It puts you into an actual scenario rather than just being "Roll the dice and hope it comes out hot."

ARCANO, the Game of Rules, Magic, and Regulations (Little, Burco, and Frane, 2014) ARCANO is a 5-volume set, outweighing all the other books on this list put together. Each book is in 12x12 inch format, and the whole set makes up a one-foot cube. The books are: character creation, core rules, summoning, shadow magic, and bibliomancy. There are just those three classes. Individually, the rules are not particularly intricate or complex, but there are a lot of them. Cool stuff: The bibliomancy book. Not only is it put together in a way that makes it a useful tool at the game table, but it turns all four other books into bibliomantic resources as well. There are acrostics and anagrams and all kinds of neat things hidden away in it. It's a shame the authors of the other books couldn't keep up.

Just Let's Make Pretend (AnonymousIsMyUsername, 2023). JLMP is a diceless game, if you can even really call it a game. It's like someone wrote down a set of instructions for "make-believe" just in case we ever needed to explain the concept to martians. It's not poorly-written, but you don't need it. Cool stuff: Cites its sources. If you're looking for people who are studying RPGs as a scholarly pursuit, the reference section in JLMP is an excellent place to start.

Thanks again to Lily Vers for the pile of books. Now the question is how I can foist them on someone else. I'm starting to fill up my storage container.

[heavenlymusickcorporation]

Peter Carroll's description of orange magic (i.e. what would traditionally be considered Mercurial) being powered by fear/anxiety reminds me a lot of the various posts on here about how people with unmedicated ADHD often find this to be the only way we can get ourselves to do anything.

Interestingly enough, "cerebral excitants" (i.e. the category under which most ADHD medications fall) are listed in row 12 (the magician, le bateleur, which is ruled by Mercury) in Crowley's Liber 777.

[hmshermitcraft]

Can we have a Worman x Hels x Evil Ex???? please?

When they first got together, it was a lot of Hels and Ex being possessive of Worman. They just couldn't get along, and it took a tearful night from Worman for them to realize how much their little feud was effecting their precious super hero. They called a truce, and found a way to circumvent any possessive or competitive natures into something more... productive, they call it. They each have their own strengths, after all. And Worman is just so tempting in those tights.

[fuck-yeah-spreadsheets]

That awesome feeling you get when you've learnt a new thing you can do in Excel

=if('NEW SKILL'=true,"whoo hoo")

[unreadaethel]

I remember when a coworker who'd grown up in a very conservative religious environment (ok, it was kind of a cult), and who'd always been taught that D&D was evil and dangerous, asked me to explain how it worked. She was almost disappointed by my explanation that "it's like a video game, but you have to do your own math using the giant books of actuarial tables everybody's carrying."

Found that over at mastodon

[tatiana-starwalker]

hey hold on when did they retire the greta side quest line in firecat alley

[ms-demeanor]

I had a straight up delightful moment at work yesterday when a new member of the management team asked me how we were tracking warranties and I explained that we kind of aren't and he asked why we aren't and that meant he got a 30-minute rundown of how top-to-bottom fucked the procurement process is here.

First I explained the process for sending a quote (i am assigned a ticket in system A1, I create an opportunity in system A2, from the opportunity i can generate a quote in system B - if I start with the quote I can't associate it back to the opportunity or the ticket, if we need to change the quote after it was approved we need to generate a new quote from the opportunity to overwrite the old one - and send the quote from system B.)

Then I explained the process of getting approval (system B sends the quote and receives the approvals but does not communicate that to system A, so until it is manually updated system A sends a daily reminder about the quote to the client and after three days with no response will close the ticket even if the client approved the quote in system B. System B will send an email if a quote is approved but it comes from our generic support email so to make sure that I don't miss approvals I have filtering rules set up and a folder I check twice a day. Because there are 4 people who use this system I also check twice daily in system B to see if anyone else's quotes were approved).

Then I explained how I place the orders (easy! I'm a pro! We have a standardized PO pattern that tracks date, vendor and client, it's handy)

Then I explained how I document the orders (neither system A nor B has a way of storing information about orders in progress, only orders that are complete; as such I have created a PO Documentation spreadsheet that lists the PO number, vendor, line of business, client, items ordered, order total, order date, ETA, tracking numbers, serial numbers, delivery confirmation, ticket number for install, ticket title for install, shippong cost, and close confirmation, which all have to be entered individually and which require a minimum of three visits to the spreadsheet per order: entering initial info, entering tracking and SN info, then once more to get that info to close the opportunity)

Then I explained how we close an order (confirm hardware delivery or activate software, use system A2 to code hardware/software/non-taxable products appropriately, run wizard to add charges from A2 to ticket in A1; because the A2 charges were locked by approval in system B, use system A3 to add shipping or other fees or to remove any parts that were approved but not actually needed or ordered - THIS WEEK I got permission to do this bit on my initial A1 procurement ticket instead of generating an A1 post-procurement ticket for fees and shipping. Once all of that is done it's moved into system A4 and is no longer my problem).

If there is a warranty involved it *should* automatically have the expiration tracked in system C, but system C doesn't have any way to pull order info so there's no way it can track warranty *start* dates without somebody manually entering it or without using API data from the manufacturer, which some manufacturers don't provide (fuck you, Apple).

But me and my trainee are happy to add the start date to the configuration once a tech tells us that the device is enrolled in system C. If the techs will tell us that we can add that info no problem.

Until then, I have unfortunately been forced to start a spreadsheet.

The manager was appalled, it was great. I got to say the words "part of the reason things sometimes fall through the cracks is because we have so many cracks" and his response was "no shit." I'm talking to vendors about a procurement system now :) :) :) :)

[visenyaism]

been thinking about a great bastard oc. his name is simon waters and he’s sooo normal. his mom was the last of an upjumped family like the slynts that got lorded only kinda… but she moved out of the red keep and made her living doing bookkeeping for inns and brothels and she raised him to do that too before perishing. he’s a very clever upstart and works for some big merchants before the Legitimization happens and he leaps up with a signed writ proving his parentage but everyones like “ok man” because he has brown hair brown eyes and is kinda ugly. he uses this dubious clout to get a job in the red keep finance department and rises very high very fast. every1 calls him a baseborn commoner tho. he is not charming and not very nice and has boring interests and hates everyone. he sides with the targs because he lives there but sends info to the blackfyres that is plausibly helpful but not too helpful, just to cover both sides because more than anything he is a cockroach who cannot be killed. but then he makes actual friends in the red keep against his will and is like wait is happiness possible? and stops. yes he fucks daemon ii. king daeron even starts asking him for advice. it’s all coming up simon. this all backfires when aenys blackfyre with a steel chair rats him out before bloodraven murderizes him. he goes to the wall w the ravens teeth and counts beets forever god bless westerosi tomcrom

YAYY!!! Being a brunette middle-class boring accountant who is kind of ambitious and conniving but not atypically so in a family full of blood wizards, doomed prophets, and whatever was going on with Daemon Blackfyre is such a concept. Being normal until the very end and suddenly getting pulled in by becoming Important at Work and having an affair with Dae2mon only to get executed for procedural cover your ass work from decades ago makes this PEAK. Thank you for your service Simon Waters I know he counted beets in a meticulous parchment spreadsheet

[acepodcastweek]

Ace Podcast Week 2024 (October 20th-26th)

The second-ever Ace Podcast Week 2024 (APW) launches tomorrow! This is a casual event to appreciate the acespec representation and community in the fiction podcasting space.

By popular demand, we have a brand-new list of prompts to get you started:

Sunday, October 20th

Apprehension/Arrival

Monday, October 21st

Community/Close

Tuesday, October 22nd

Empty/Exile

Wednesday, October 23rd

Wonder/Waystation

Thursday, October 24th

Embark/Enchant

Friday, October 25th

Echo/Equilibrium

Saturday, October 26th

Knowledge/Kaleidoscope

If you'd prefer to do without prompts, go for it. You can also use any of last year's prompts, as listed here.

How Do I Join In?

Between one and seven days during APW, make something related to fiction podcasts and acespec identity. It's that easy. It doesn't need to be polished, just creating something is more than enough.

If you're comfortable sharing them, you can tag them with #ace podcast week, or even @ me here at @acepodcastweek. I'll be checking tags daily up until November 1st, and late entries are welcome.

Some things you might consider include:

Visual art

Baking

Zines

Cosplay

Music

Fanfic

Poetry

Media analysis

Recommendation lists

Polls

Highlighting creators

Sharing headcanons

And whatever else might strike your fancy.

If you need a little extra inspiration, you can also look through all the brilliant entries we had last year in the #ace podcast week tag, or on this blog.

Creator Featurettes

Podcast creators and contributors who are acespec or have acespec characters are very welcome to put together little features of their characters and/or projects, which I'll reblog here.

Resources

There are plenty of acespec characters in audio fiction, and I've attached two lists below to get you started:

Questions & Queries

If you have any questions, concerns, ideas, or anything else in that realm, get in touch with me here. You can drop them in the comments, my DMs, or send me an ask. Be aware that I don't always see comments in my notes (wizard curse), so the latter two options will be more reliable. If there's something I can be doing better? Let me know.

A list of asked and anticipated questions from our first APW can be found here, and will be updated as additional questions are asked.

[cookieshipshowdown]

Current "standings" (if you can even call them that) of the different ships submitted. This house is a fucking nightmare, and my spreadsheet is already in shambles.

The keep reading is just to make the post shorter because. there's so many different ships.

Single Ships (A prelim round is on the horizon prolly) :

Moonfairy (Moonlight Cookie x Sea Fairy Cookie) Milkstar [QPR] (Star Coral Cookie + Milky Way Cookie) Timemilk (Timekeeper Cookie x Shadow Milk Cookie) [Ruler of Ephemeral Flow TK x Sage of Truth smilk was a second submission] Stormcacao (Stormbringer Cookie x Dark Cacao Cookie) Unichip (Cream Unicorn Cookie x Crunchy Chip Cookie) Hollytaya (Hollyberry Cookie x Pitaya Dragon Cookie) Evil Advisors (Affogato Cookie x Smoked Cheese Cookie) Chocowolf (Dark Choco Cookie x Werewolf Cookie) Wizardcrepe (Wizard Cookie x Strawberry Crepe Cookie) Candycrepe (Candy Apple Cookie x Strawberry Crepe Cookie) Vanillaraisin (Pure Vanilla Cookie x Black Raisin Cookie) Caramelraisin (Caramel Arrow Cookie x Black Raisin Cookie) Sapphireraisin (Black Sapphire Cookie x Black Raisin Cookie) Golden Cheese and her treasures (Cheese Kingdom Polycule) [Includes Smoked Cheese, Burnt Cheese, Mozzarella, Olive, and Black Raisin] [Plus a second submission of JUST Golchi and Raisin] Goldentiger (Golden Cheese Cookie x Nutmeg Tiger Cookie) Gingerberry (GingerBrave x Strawberry Cookie) Spicedchoco (Burning Spice Cookie x Dark Choco Cookie) Rasprincess (Raspberry Cookie x Princess Cookie) Poly Cookies of Darkness (It's what it says on the tin) Timeguette (Timekeeper Cookie x Baguette Cookie) TBD Polycule (Timekeeper x Croissant x Ephemeral Flow TK x Director Croissant x String Gummy) [This one is funny to me because it's four alternate universe versions and then. String gummy in the corner.] Shadowfaerie (Shadow Milk Cookie x Elder Faerie Cookie) Wedding Yuri (Wedding Cake Cookie x Black Forest Cookie) Juice Bar Regulars (Sparkling x Mint Choco x Vamp x Herb) Mintcocoa (Mint Choco Cookie x Hot Cocoa Cookie) Pomegranate Cookie x Starfruit Cookie (ship name?) Longan Dragon Cookie x Pitaya Dragon Cookie (ship name?) Maple Taffy Cookie x Cappuccino Cookie (ship name?) Clotted Cream Cookie x Financier Cookie (ship name?) Captain Caviar Cookie x Abalone Cookie (ship name?) Black Sapphire Cookie x Nutmeg Tiger Cookie (ship name?) Adventurer x Blackberry (ship name?) PV x Elder Faerie x Milennial Tree (ship name?) Rich Cheese Cookie x Banana Peel Cookie (cut content ship)

-=--=====--=-

Single Instances of Specific Polysouljam Ships :

Shadowsalt (Shadow Milk Cookie x Silent Salt Cookie) Shadowflour (Shadow Milk Cookie x Mystic Flour Cookie) Mysticsugar (Mystic Flour Cookie x Eternal Sugar Cookie) Mysticsalt (Mystic Flour Cookie x Silent Salt Cookie) Saltedvanilla (Silent Salt Cookie x Pure Vanilla Cookie) Burningcacao (Burning Spice Cookie x Dark Cacao Cookie) Shadowlily (Shadow Milk Cookie x White Lily Cookie) Goldenflour (Golden Cheese Cookie x Mystic Flour Cookie) Cheese-n-chocolate (Golden Cheese Cookie x Dark Cacao Cookie) Goldencacaoberry (Golden Cheese x Dark Cacao x Hollyberry)

-=--=====--=-

Ships with More Than One Submission :

2 instances of Jestergem (Wind Archer x Shadow Milk) 2 instances of Espresseleine (Espresso x Madeleine) 2 instances of Poly Cops-n-Robbers (Rye, Almond, Roguefort, Chili Pepper) 2 instances of Burningvanilla (Burning Spice x Pure Vanilla) 2 instances of Truthlessage (Truthless Recluse x Sage of Truth) 2 instances of Eternalcheese (Eternal Sugar x Golden Cheese) 2 instances of Purelily (Pure Vanilla x White Lily) [One of which is "evil purelily" AKA TR x DE] 3 instances of Wildchip (Wildberry x Crunchy Chip) 3 instances of Blackbell (Black Sapphire x Silverbell) 3 instances of Lilyenchant (White Lily x Dark Enchantress) [Plus 1 with Silent Salt and Elder Faerie thrown in] 3 instances of Polysouljam (The Beasts and Ancients) 3 instances of Mysticcacao (Mystic Flour x Dark Cacao) 3 instances of Silentlily (Silent Salt x White Lily) 3 instances of Sugarberry (Eternal Sugar x Hollyberry) 4 instances of Burningcheese (Burning Spice x Golden Cheese) 6 instances of Shadowvanilla (Shadow Milk x Pure Vanilla)

I'm losing my mind. 53 submissions and the week isn't even up. There's so many pairings. and ships. Guys. Not even MCYT ships are this diverse I'm crashing out

....Keep going. At least TRY to make multiples of the single ships. they're lonely :( or just do whatever. add more to my list, we can make ALL the rarepairs fight

[fuck-yeah-spreadsheets]

hey bitches!

I got my uber spreadsheet job back after 2 years of just faffing with my casual sheets. I’m so happy to go and faff with spreadsheets for a global corporation again and get paid way too much for it.

[ps-cactus]

MC and her lore - Introduction Post

I'd say she filled out this spreadsheet in the beginning of her sixth year, but her creator added a few notes, knowing some things about her past and future 🤭 (±900 words below).

✧ She knows nothing about her origin but wouldn’t even mention it unless you’re really, really close.

At the age of three, she was adopted by the Salters, a wealthy family living at Norfolk near the sea: Mr Salters (ship doctor) and Mrs Salters (a dressmaker). The couple already had two boys and longed for a third child for many years. After countless debates, Mrs Salters finally convinced her husband to adopt a girl. As someone who worked with colours a lot, Mrs Salters was captivated by the girl’s striking amber eyes and came up with the name Amberlyn ✨ And years later, not expecting this at all, Mrs Salters became pregnant again and gave birth to another daughter, to her and her husband's great joy.

✧ She is okay with people using her full name but prefers the short form.

✧ Her Patronus is now incorporeal. However, in the future, it will take the form of a seagull.

Some associations were: finding opportunities among obstacles, being quick-witted and flexible, and having a love for adventure and travel. Balance of independence with a connection to those around. Also, emotionally, Alyn’s deeply connected to the seaside and everything that comes with it, especially the birds she always loved to observe. Yes, she even likes their shrill screeches.

✧ She doesn’t have any pets now, but eventually, she will own a small owl named Titan (after Saturn’s largest moon).

Due to some unfortunate events (involving the Ministry using Veritaserum on her), she had to give away all the creatures from her vivariums. She still feels a deep sense of sorrow and guilt over it.

✧ She doodles when deep in thought, often sketching magical creatures and plants. However, portraits are disasters for her—she just can’t get them right.

Sometimes, during class, Ominis’ notes fall victim to her doodles of mandrakes, puffskeins, and other stuff. Though he’s asked her to stop, he’ll secretly keep those pieces of parchment forever.

✧ Dreams of life being back to normal asap and considers transforming that ominous shop in Hogsmeade into a charming café filled with coffee, sweets, and cute little trinkets. Even thinks of becoming an artist who can create magical pictures like the ones she admires at Hogwarts.

Sure, all of that could happen, but she might also end up teaching young wizards pre-Hogwarts: giving them a basic understanding of magic, plants, beasts, and some history (recalling how Professor Fig helped her, this would feel especially meaningful to her).

At the muggle boarding school she attended, they had lessons in music, sewing, and other common subjects, but her favourite was always art, of course. Also, she enjoys listening to instruments and even still remembers a few piano melodies, though she struggles to play full compositions, because of >attention issues< speaking of which…

✧ She loves Potions, though it's challenging to make ones that take a long time to brew—sure, she mastered a perfect Wiggenweld. She also enjoys Garreth’s experiments, especially when they don’t involve her stealing or drinking anything. And she absolutely adores Charms, believing they are the greatest art form in the magical world. ✧ Astronomy fascinates her because she never imagined so many wonders existed above in the sky. She loves charting the stars, and it's remarkably the only activity that keeps her fully engaged for hours without getting distracted. ✧ She hates Flying lessons but absolutely loves the thrill of speed flying over the Highlands. As for Aritmancy, well, >attention issues< and Divination-like vibes make it a nightmare for her.

She doesn’t hate History of Magic—it’s the perfect time for a midday nap. And having Ominis fall asleep beside her just makes it even better.

She's also good with some other healing potions and ointments, which were very helpful with her injuries after the battle with Ranrok. She still bears scars on her left hand, ribs, and leg, and her left hand is now slightly weakened, contributing to her newfound issues with spells and ancient magic (and other activities, such as her wish to ever try Quidditch or even play some music again).

✧ More Salters Family Details (the most important note—she hasn’t had any interactions with them since the end of her fifth year. She was barred from any contact with muggles while the investigation into her magic is still underway.) ✦ Home - a large "Foxglove house" on a hill with a beautiful garden next to it. A few staff members to look after the house and the children. ✦ Mom - a warm and kind relationship, but Mrs Salters was always passionate about and busy with her work and, later, with the youngest child as well. ✦ Father - a cold-to-distant relationship. He was rarely home after transitioning from hospital surgeon to ship doctor. It always seemed like he never fully got used to having a child that wasn’t his own. ✦ Arthur - 10 years older, really nice relationship. Alyn wishes she could have more of him in her life, but he moved out years ago. Alyn used to admire Sebastian for being such a great brother to Anne, as it reminded her of Arthur. ✦ Greg - 5 years older, and they've always hated each other, as his favourite thing to say to her is that she’s not really part of their family. ✦ Gwen - 7 years younger, and as the most spoiled child and mommy’s little princess, she’s an absolute nasty little gremlin.

p.s. a sad remark alert as her eyes colour on the pic is not a mistake:

After the end of her fifth year her eyes turned a deep, dark brown, and there were other changes in her appearance. Description from September 1891: "...the warm blonde that once shimmered like sunlight now appeared faded and muted. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a sick and lost reflection, a stark reminder of the damage the last year caused her. She wondered if she would ever truly recover."

... and that's it! THANK YOU for reading this far let me hug you and kiss you on the forehead I love you so much marry me

such a cool and fun template by @kiwiplaetzchen thank you!