#or at least bothersome on some level for a while

[jacqcrisis]

This a ramble about some thoughts I'm having while playing bg3. Please ignore if you want cause I'm only just now about to start act 2 on my first playthrough.

I wonder if due to the general rarity and more animalistic appearance of a dragonborn, if Ronan is a hard sell on the 'attraction' front for a lot of people. I can't imagine most people's first reaction to meeting a new lizard man is 'the pants are coming off', unless they are a very particular kind of person or have been around people of that race enough for the general wariness for the visual peculiarities to have worn off. Especially not in a crisis situation where if you really wanted to bone down, there's other more human options with skin and normal teeth and...lips.

Obviously, all the companions are video game bisexual and also seemingly devoid of personal aesthetic preferences in order to help facilitate you the player's personal role-playing fantasy adventure. Everyone is available no matter what race you pick in a game mechanic sense but thinking logically in a worldbuilding/narrative sense...

I understand Lae'zel wondering outloud to Ronan if she could 'ride him like the red dragons'; that makes sense for her and her...interests. She seems like a certified freak (affectionate). And I would get it if Gale had a dialogue option that implied or directly stated he'd wondered what it'd be like to be with a dragonborn because he seems like he's spent a lot of time reading weird porn inbetween simping for an actual goddess who probably can and did true polymorph herself into some fucked up shit for him. Their sex life had to be crazy if he's willing to turn himself into a thermonuclear device to try and get it back is all I'm saying ANYWAYS

But since I'm romancing him this playthrough, I have to imagine for someone like Astarion, that it had to take some personal pep talk before putting on the fawning voice and asking Ronan to sleep with him. And even more psyching himself up because in my game, it took two additional long rests after that conversation to actually get to the awkward sex scene. He had to really think about that one, literally had to sleep on it TWICE to make sure he's got his head in the right place to find out what dragonborn dick is about.

Not that hes disgusted, just... put off by the prospect on how he's going to sell this whole charming, super into the dragonborn shtick when he's just not all that much. I just cannot imagine, even outside of the manipulation game he's playing with the PC, Astarion sitting there, being like 'you know who I'd like to get rowdy with now that my body is my own again? Out of everyone at this camp? Thats right. The Lizard.'

I'm only just now about to start act 2, so I could be super off base, but that's the headcanon I'm running with right now. Vampire didn't find much physically of the big dragonborn tantalizing before deciding sleeping with him was the best course of action. The idea that this would obviously change over the course of time is compelling to me.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

SO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS IM SORRY IF IRS REALLY RANDOM BUT IF ITS OK COULD I REQUEST TICCI TOBY,MASKY,HOODIE,EJ WITH A TEEN!READER like Darwin from the amazing world of gumball

Darwin is such a silly guy omg <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

Honestly he's just glad you aren't as scary as some of the other children in the manor

Most, if not all of the children that live in the manor are there because there was quite literally no other choice for them

They come from such bad homes with such bad caretakers, it's not shocking that most of them have learned to protect themselves by any means necessary

So while Toby understands, holy shit do they scare him <//3

So seeing a kid that is allowed to still just be a kid makes him happy

He finds you quite fun to be around

He loves hearing you get excited with the things you're passionate about

And he loves how silly you can be!

You are one of the easiest kids to talk to, so he uses you for intel on the other children for things such as gifts for the holidays

He's also thankful that you are so truthful and don't like breaking the rules

It really helps lower the stress levels in the house

Masky

You're a good kid

That's about the extent of his opinion on you

He likes that you're a goody two-shoes, because it makes his job as the "secondary dad" of the manor waaay easier

First dad being slender

"Alright, which one of you spilled water on the carpet" tim asks, eying the two children sitting in front of him

"Im sorry! It was me, i didn't mean it, i swear it was i mistake!" You blurt out fearfully, hoping to not get in trouble

"Woah, relax kid, it's just water. We can clean it up easily"

He's also glad that you're one less kid he'll have to worry about sneaking out, running away, or getting in general trouble

Other than that, you guys don't really have a relationship

You might talk from time to time, and he'll be there for fatherly support and comfort

But that's about it

Hoodie

He's not exactly the greatest with kids

He doesn't dislike them, but he isn't really a kid guy

He can handle teens though, and with you being such an easy kid to handle, you manage to make his good list

If he sees you around, he'll wave, he'll get you things that remind him of you, and he's generally just more tolerant of you

Like if any of the other kids asked him to make them breakfast, he'd probably be like "oooh i actually juuuust started cleaning up sorry"

But if you or sally asked him to he'd be like "omg of course, you little angels 🥰"

Like tim, you won't really have a relationship outside of him just being more tolerant of you

He's considered the cooler uncle, and sometimes a big brother amongst the kids so he won't be able to provide the fatherly comfort that Tim does

But he CAN provide some brotherly shoulder pats or cool uncle McDonald's

And maybe, just maaaaaybe a hug every now and then

Eyeless Jack

Ej finds children quite bothersome

They get in the way of his work, they are noisy and they are messy

Three things he will not tolerate

But he was very pleasantly surprised with you

He doesn't mind teenagers as much, as they are much less noisy and messy than younger children, but he does have his issues with teenagers as well

But while you are sitting on his medical bed, waiting for a bandaid for your cut arm, you are actually very pleasent to be around

You came in in a bit of a panic, fearing your arm might be permanently damaged, but you were able to calm down as Ej took the time to explain that you were ok, as well as walking you through everything he was doing

You were very nice and quiet, and quite polite actually

You are a good kid in Ej's books

When he sees you around the manor, he makes a point to show at least some sort of sign of polite recognition to you, instead of just walking past with a blank expression

Whether it be a small smile, a nod, or a wave, just something to let you know that he thinks you are ok

Espcially with how anxious you seem to get, he knows that it will likely help you to know he doesn't hate you

[roxykisser]

space and void both have to do with loneliness but they’re different kinds of loneliness i think, related to the nature of the aspects themselves.

space is very much about being.. physically removed from others. jade lived on a desolate island, calliope lived in a little box at the edge of the universe, kanaya lived in the middle of nowhere, somewhere where she wasn’t even supposed to be (jadebloods spend their whole lives in the brooding caverns). their loneliness is very physical because space is by nature a physical aspect, both in terms of concrete environment and science, rules of the universe, so to say. they are always reminded of how alone they are by the nature of their existence.

void on the other hand is more like… a gnawing lack. the sort of loneliness that you feel in the middle of a crowd or at the edge of the action at a party or sat a space away from all your friends unable to get a word in. it’s more subtle but just as cruel as space’s, because while space is aware they are alone and cannot change that fact, void could but can’t. roxy lived surrounded by carapacians, had the ability to interact with others, but was never given the opportunity to truly connect with them because her neighbours were on a different level of intelligence. the only person who seemed to like equius was nepeta, everyone else thought he was some weirdo (he was, to be fair) and shunned him. he lived right next to someone who was theoretically a friend, but i don’t think you could call vriska and equius’ relationship a friendship.

by extension, i don’t think it’s far fetched at all to frame loneliness in the context of other aspects. heart for example seemed to have a thing with being (not) understood. dirk didn’t understand himself (no matter how much he tried to pretend he did), he wasn’t really understood by his friends. he latched furiously onto jake, the only person who seemed to truly see through his show of masculinity and cold logic. nepeta was very unique among her friends and her behaviour was mostly seen as bothersome by her friends, including (at least partially) her moirail, despite her being arguably the most emotionally intelligent person in the group. she had the best of intentions but the others never realised them until after she died.

i could give many more examples but frankly it’s 7 am and i do not have the heart for it

[honey-beann]

Ruiner, Ruination (RK900 x Reader)

Chapter One: Naming Nines

Series Masterlist

Series Synopsis:

After Gavin Reed, the biggest asshat in the DPD refuses to work with the newest android detective, the only RK900 in existence, you find yourself being offered the opportunity in his stead. Post successful android revolution, with a very recently deviated android partner at your side, will the two of you gain the same level of success as Hank and Connor, or will your different manifestations of humanity, and all of the feelings that come along with it, get in the way?

AKA: Reader and Nines get partnered up and grow closer over a series of one-shots and random cases.

Will you become RK900's ruination?

Chapter Content Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,579

"Absolutely not!"

The sounds of shouting nearly made you groan as you slumped down further in your desk, trying to ignore the grown man throwing a temper tantrum clearly visible through the glass just a few yards in front of you.

"Sounds like Gavin found out about his new android partner, huh?"

Muttered one of your coworkers from behind you, and you lamented internally at all of the bitching you were going to be subjected to as a result of this mess. Having your desk situated just a few feet across from Detective Reed's meant having to hear all about his newest complaints and disagreements, even if you had absolutely no interest in them at all. Back when you were still considered a rookie just a year prior, you had hoped this had all been a test, and that you would soon be moved to a less bothersome location, but as time went on with no complaints from you, Fowler appeared to have decided that the arrangement worked just fine as a permanent fixture.

You were less than pleased.

Trying not to be as obvious in your staring as your coworkers, you placed your tablet in your lap, looking up from the blank screen every few seconds to watch Gavin push at some other expensive looking object, his eyes wild with an anger you had grown all too familiar with throughout your somewhat brief time here at the station. Needless to say, you were not a fan of Detective Reed and his childishness, and this extreme act of crazed rage only made you all the more aware of how ridiculous and dramatic he could be.

"All this over some android partner?"

You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes before returning them down to the tablet in front of you, still blank as you tried to look as busy as possible despite your light work load.

Working in the android crimes unit alongside Lieutenant Anderson, Connor, and Detective Reed had been no walk in the park so far, especially not when the first two made such an incredible team. You and Gavin, on the other hand, had been urged to try your best for a few months, before it was ultimately decided that you both worked best on your own. Or, at least, that's what the amicable write up said. In reality, Reed had made it impossible to work with him over the course of just three months, and after that, you had outright refused a partnership. If you were supposed to receive any form of repercussions for this, they never came, and now, watching Gavin rant and rave through the glass of Fowler's office, you were pretty sure that you knew why.

How could anyone truly expect someone to work well with one of the biggest assholes in the entire city of Detroit?

Yourself and the rest of your coworkers watched on for a while, as Gavin continued to argue his case against a potential asset to his one man show of a team, rolling your eyes jointly at his dramatics until finally, Fowler put his head in his hands and exasperatedly motioned for your desk neighbor to leave. Begrudgingly, you watched as Reed did just that, grumbling something under his breath that had your boss glaring at his back as he exited the room.

Everything was quiet as Gavin approached the desk across from yours once more, and everyone tried to look as busy as possible despite the obvious lack of commotion within the usually busy police department.

You relished in that near silence for a few minutes, before suddenly, Fowler's angry voice sounded from just outside of his office door, his glare fixated on Gavin despite you being the only person he was talking to.

Damn, Gavin really had pissed him off, huh?

"Detective L/n!"

He shouted, and you swallowed thickly before standing at once, nodding in his direction to show that you were listening, At the sight of an actually obedient employee, Fowler seemed to calm a bit, although you noted that his hands were still clenched into fists as he spoke,

"How would you like your very own android partner?"

Shocked, you stared at your boss as if he had lost his mind, fighting the urge to ask him if he was sure he had the right person. You were just barely out of rookie status, nowhere near important enough to have earned an android of your own. But, then again, Gavin had blown it, and the unit needed more hands on experts, whether Gavin wanted to work with one them or not, so in the end, you were pretty much the only other option if they didn't want an android going about solving crimes alone.

Swallowing back your various questions and concerns in favor of simply answering the question at hand, you nodded once at your superior,

"It would be crazy of me to say no to an opportunity like that, sir."

You replied as cooly as possible, taking note of the way that Gavin sneered from his seat across from your own as he rolled his eyes at your words. He had called you a kiss ass since your arrival, but truthfully, you just knew when to use the right kind of language with the right kind of person, unlike the incredibly annoying detective you had been forced to call your partner just a few months back.

"Good. Glad to hear there's at least one sane person in the damn Android Crimes Unit."

He grumbled that last part before clearing his throat and speaking up once more,

"Your assigned model is an RK900, the only one in existence. It was originally created as a prototype advanced deviant hunter, but ever since it's... deviance a few months prior, along with the results of the android revolution, employment in a separate area started being considered. You will guide this android in your field work, and maintain a professional relationship with him regardless of your differences, do I make myself clear?"

Shocked to have heard Fowler address this in front of everyone rather than in a private meeting, you nodded quickly and eagerly in response to his words, watching as your boss signed in relief and ran his hand across his face.

"Good. The model was brought by for tuning and integration this morning. He should be by your desk promptly."

Shocked, you opened your mouth to reply, maybe even ask a few questions, but before you could Fowler had returned to his glass enclosure, picking his desk phone up and dialing a number quickly, his shoulders tense and eyebrows drawn together.

Maybe right now wasn't the best time for questions regarding your new android partner.

Sighing, you sat back down once more, trying not to look nervous as you stared back down at the blank tablet on your desk once again.

That is, until a voice, slightly familiar, and somehow also incredibly foreign to you spoke up from your right.

You yelped in response to the sudden sound, jumping in your chair and twisting around to all but gawk at the intimidating man who stood before you.

He looked incredibly similar to Connor, but somehow the slight differences made him seem like a completely different person, and you could tell by the cold expression on his face that they would in no way be sharing similar personalities. Where Connor Anderson, the RK800 model who had deviated nine months ago, was warm and friendly, always ready to ask about your day, this RK900 model was clearly cool and calculated, his gaze consistently disapproving no matter where or who it happened to fall upon.

And to be the subject of said disapproval? It made you shiver before you could even speak up, giving the android in front of you the opportunity to do so first.

"Hello Detective L/n. I am an RK900 prototype built for the purpose of tracking down and dismantling deviants such as my predecessor. That being said, my previous function has been rendered inconsequential due to my status as deviant, and therefore, I have gained employment here, alongside the RK800 model known to you as Connor, in order to support the DPD in the development of android crimes. I understand that you are to be my partner in this task, is this correct?"

You blinked, shocked at the robotic tone of the supposed deviant who stood before you. You stared for a moment, taking in the crisp white jacket that adorned the android's shoulders, and the blinking model number that could be seen on his chest. He was incredibly intimidating, several inches taller than Connor, and far less friendly. It was as if this android felt no reason at all to utilize it's social interaction protocols, and you couldn't help but wonder if that was yet another unexplored area of deviancy.

Slowly, as if unsure of your own actions, you reached your hand out to the android in front of you, clearing your throat as you did so, trying to shake your nerves and muster up the courage to speak.

"I look forward to working with you..."

You trailed off hesitantly, your heartbeat quickening as you felt the unfamiliar chill of the RK900's hand against your own, that gaze never leaving you as your hands interlocked, shaking in greeting slowly,

"Is there something wrong?"

The RK900 model in front of you asked slowly, his words clearly enunciated and incredibly probing as they passed the artificial pink skin of his lips.

"I, uh, I guess I don't know what to call you."

The android quirked it's head in curiosity before it seemed to understand your words, and nodded,

"Ah, yes, your RK800 model-"

"Connor"

You corrected immediately, knowing how much the android in question disliked being called by his model number, your nerves leaving you for the briefest of moments as you stood up for your friend.

"Right, your... Connor"

The RK900 spoke slowly this time, as if testing the way that the sentence sounded in his ears, and you almost smiled at how much it reminded you of his predecessor.

Suddenly, as if he had been enlightened with the correct words to say, the RK900 model cleared his throat, and spoke up again,

"My predecessor, Connor as you call him, goes by a name. This name was given to him upon his distribution, in order to make him more relatable and easy to trust. I was not built to be trusted, nor related to. To put it simply, Detective, I was built for the purpose of destruction, ruination if you will, and that of my own kind in particular. Therefore, I was not given a name as Connor was upon the start of his mission."

You nodded softly, gazed upward at the oh so familiar stranger that stood above you,

"Right, I guess that does make sense... In that case, can we give you a name?"

You asked, tilting your head in question as the android before you stiffened a bit, quirking a brow in response,

"You wish to name me?"

He asked, and you shrugged softly, trying to ignore the heat that was building in your cheeks,

"Well, not exactly. You can pick it if you want to, I just want something to call you that isn't as long as your model number."

Nodding in understanding, the RK900 thought for a moment, before finally reaching what to him was the most logical conclusion.

"I will allow you to choose, since you are so keen on my having a new name to go by as your partner."

You could have sworn you saw the android smirk a bit as he spoke these words, but you shook it off and started thinking hard about potential names for the man in front of you.

This train of thought lasted far longer than you had ever initially anticipated, and eventually, you found yourself groaning out of frustration, hunched over a notepad at your desk two hours after your initial meeting with your new partner.

"Nicholas?"

You offered hopefully, and the man in front of you shook his head for what had to be the one hundredth time that day, that shadow of a smug grin forming on his lips as he met your gaze again from the desk attached to your own, which he had made himself comfortable at shortly after his arrival.

"It just doesn't suit me."

He explained wryly, and you fought to roll your eyes in exasperation as he utilized the same excuse he had been using for the past twenty names. He had a reason to hate everything.

Sighing heavily, you moved to bury your head in your hands, rubbing at your cheeks before you let out an annoyed huff, glaring over at your new partner.

"Two hours in and you're already impossible."

"Oh, on the contrary, Detective."

The android's response was immediate, long and drawn out as he leaned forward so his elbow was on your desk rather than his own, his smirk predatory in a way that made you almost feel frightened as you swallowed thickly while desperately trying to come up with a new name.

"I think I am being quite cooperative. I mean, I've hardly said a thing about that untouched work load of yours."

He finished teasing, and you shot him another glare, as you stood to pace before your shared desk space.

"Well fine then, if a regular name doesn't work, how about something different?"

You asked exasperatedly, and the RK900 leaned forward towards you in what appeared to be mock anticipation,

"Different you say? Go on then Detective, what do you have in mind?"

You thought for a moment, struggling to think of anything, before finally, your eyes fell on that glowing model number upon his jacket, and finally it hit you.

"Nines,"

You breathed out the name as if it were a prayer, and the android in front of you seemed to hum in response, watching you intently as your gaze moved to meet his own once more, challenging and unwavering.

Just what he was hoping to see.

"I like it."

He said after what had felt like an entire minute of deliberation, and you whooped victoriously and jumped excitedly about the small office in response to those three short words, your grin wide and splitting your face in two.

He watched, annoyed by your strange actions, yet somehow also entertained by how improvised and sudden all of your reactions felt to him.

Were all humans like this? If so, this job would get exhausting very fast.

Eventually, you slowed back down and had the sense to look a bit bashful as you sat across from the RK900 - 'Nines' once more, clearing your throat awkwardly as you started to look at your completely empty tablet for what felt like the one millionth time that day.

"I do hope you know that tablet has been depleted of battery life, Detective."

Nines' voice was laced with a bit of humor and cruelty as he spoke, and you groaned internally upon being caught.

You couldn't find the correct words to respond with, so instead you turned your face away from the man sitting on the other side of your desk, trying to focus on anything else but this near stranger who was supposed to be your partner sometime in the near future.

How were you ever going to make it through this with your sanity?

AO3 Link

Series Masterlist

[sapphireluci]

After a lot of tweaking, I finally settled on a good NiD and JoD design for a first-level Nightmaren oc a while ago!! Her name is Vega, I wrote a bit of background for her under the read more, but to summarize, she was created to replace NiGHTS, was created without the ability to express emotions so she wouldn’t rebel, has rain-based powers, and is close with Reala.

Vega was created as a replacement first-level to help Wizeman seize control of Nightopia, after he got fed up with the constant failed attempts to recapture NiGHTS. As a fail-safe measure in case she were to rebel, Wizeman made sure she was created without any means of expressing herself freely, resulting in her seeming more like a mindless drone at times. She works closely with Reala in carrying out Wizeman’s orders, while also seeking out the destruction of NiGHTS and the bothersome visitors that follow them.

At some point, however, Vega will start to question some of what she observes around her, mainly the way NiGHTS and the visitors interact with each other. Why does the atmosphere around them feel so much….lighter, compared to being in Wizeman’s presence? Why is it that Reala seems to tremble when in said presence? It’s something she won’t be able to explain for a long while.

In the way of abilities, Vega has the same capabilities as a first-level maren: flight, paralooping, drilldashing, and shapeshifting, (although she seems to do the latter the least). Her main ability, however, focuses on weather manipulation, specifically that of rain/thunderstorm clouds. She is able to conjure large storms from the energy within the two crystals on her chest, either to make a visitor’s dream difficult to navigate through, or as a means of throwing a foe such as NiGHTS off track in a fight. Vega is also capable of morphing her rain into water spheres large enough to hold someone captive within them.

Although she can’t explain it, she feels a great sense of closeness with Reala, who had been ordered by Wizeman to help guide her in terrorizing Nightopia. She’s usually one to witness the meetings between him and Wizeman, and how he leaves them with a new scar and an expression she cannot comprehend. Although she cannot feel it herself, she senses Reala’s strong aura, and makes her best attempts to comfort him when needed.

As for her relationship with Puffy, she is unsure of what to make of her overbearing hugs and kisses, but is aware she can discuss any conflicting matter with her. Jackle, on the other hand, is someone she tends to avoid a little, mainly due to his loud and chaotic energy, but respects him regardless.

Also she can play the air trumpet 👹

[mooechi]

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄! 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒; 𝐑𝐈𝐑𝐈

TAISHO ERA SECRETS*

DID YOU KNOW? no? well now you do! ...

riri has a tendency to fall asleep at the most inconvenient moments. during her free time, she prioritizes rest and avoids engaging in draining activities. she has the ability to doze off anywhere, disregarding any discomfort she may experience.

unless absolutely necessary, riri tends to, and will oversleep.

when it comes to cooking or handling anything fire-related, she is completely inept and often ends up burning things or people in the process. household chores and self-care are not her strong suits either, leading geto and even mimi to take on a somewhat caretaker role for her, despite riri being older than mimi.

riri is puzzled as to why lower-ranking individuals tend to avoid her like the plague. however, unbeknownst to her, her blunt honesty often comes across as brutal, which makes matters worse. despite her attempts to soften her words, she struggles with sugarcoating and ends up being more direct than intended. this is why geto suspects that she is either bluntly vague or vaguely blunt.

when she's not dozing off in her free time, riri can usually be found enjoying the beauty of nature, particularly beneath a sakura tree or in any other picturesque natural setting that captivates her.

not to say that she isn't fond of animals, but ironically, riri has an intense fear of cats for some unknown reason.

while she may not be the best mentor, she's not the worst either. however, don't expect her advice to be genuinely helpful. in fact, it might just confuse you even more.

her favorite food is simply any type of miso soup.

riri doesn't care enough to bother whether others address her with honorifics or not.

while mimi eagerly awaited the arrival of her uniform and katana, riri took it upon herself to visit the kakushi responsible for tailoring the uniform. but her being who she was, riri approached the situation without resorting to threats or intimidation. instead, she maintained her characteristic nonchalant demeanor and sincerely expressed her concerns regarding the uniform being made for mimi. riri believed that the initial design she had received, which happened to be the same as mitsuri's uniform, was not what she had in mind for mimi. she feared that mimi would end up with a similar uniform, which wasn't ideal at all.

unfortunately, due to her stoic expression, the tailor misinterpreted riri's intentions and formed a different perception of her. nevertheless, this misunderstanding proved to be beneficial, at least for riri. it prompted the tailor to create a proper uniform that aligned with mimi's expectations, ensuring that she would receive a uniform tailored specifically for her needs.

riri possesses extensive knowledge of anatomy, which is a result of her specialized technique. in an alternate reality, she might have pursued a career as a wandering artist.

while riri has the ability to engage in witty banter, she often perceives it as bothersome and a mere waste of time that could have been better spent on resting.

similarly, since her missions primarily take place in cold climates, it is no surprise that her residence is located in snowy regions. consequently, her training during the hashira training arc was exceptionally challenging, as it took place in the harsh winter conditions, adding an extra level of difficulty and hardship to her training regime.

riri's assigned kasugai crow is a male named urami, meaning "grudge." riri decided to give it that name after months of incessant pestering on its part. initially, she refused to name it simply because she didn't even bother trying to think of anything suitable. however, the relentless nagging eventually irritated her to the point where she chose the name as a form of sarcastic retaliation.

when it comes to appearance, urami, like any other crow, doesn't stand out and has a rather ordinary look. however, its personality can be described as either comical or downright irritating. urami often displays a degrading attitude and easily loses its temper. ironically, urami's behavior actually aids riri, who tends to be deliberate and take her time with tasks. urami's impatience and persistent reminders serve as a not-so-polite urging that pushes her to act promptly and complete things more efficiently.

interestingly, urami is a very selective eater and surprisingly enjoys being fashionable for reasons unknown. but despite its occasional protests, urami has firmly decided to serve no other owner except riri, showing unwavering loyalty towards her.

riri wields a standard nichirin katana much like most. her handguard features a simple circular design with an inwardly-facing snowflake motif. the color of her blade is a pearly blue, reminiscent of a diamond, though it does not boast any extravagant embellishments.

riri possesses a remarkable ability to perceive auras, which shares similarities with akaza's, but also has distinct characteristics of its own. her aura perception skill functions in a unique manner; the stronger an individual's aura, the more it works against them, making their aura more prominent and easily detectable. this puts them at a disadvantage as their intentions and actions become more apparent. conversely, when facing weaker opponents, riri becomes more susceptible to their surprise attacks. their feeble auras prove difficult to sense as potential threats, making her more prone to being caught off guard. furthermore, encountering an overwhelming aura can have an exhausting effect on riri. her heightened sensitivity to the tension and energy of the aura adds an extra burden to her already fatigued state, further draining her energy.

riri possesses the lowest stamina among all the hashiras, which can be attributed to both her physical condition and the immense effort required to execute her techniques. despite making them appear effortless, the reality is that performing these techniques is incredibly challenging.

despite her lower stamina, riri possesses an exceptional tolerance for cold temperatures. she lives up to her title in this regard, but it's important to note that she isn't completely immune to the cold. while she can withstand and bear colder conditions better than most, it doesn't mean she is entirely unaffected by it.

because of her limited stamina, riri is typically assigned missions that demand an extended duration compared to the usual ones. this allows her to work effectively within her energy constraints and ensures that she can complete the tasks regardless of her lower endurance.

while it is not a common occurrence, riri can sometimes display subconscious rudeness towards individuals she disapproves of. on the contrary, she secretly enjoys receiving headpats, although she may not openly admit it, just because nobody has ever directly asked her about it.

it can be said that her preferred love language is likely quality time, even in moments of silence.

indeed, geto is specifically assigned as her kakushi. however, due to riri's infrequent presence at home, as her missions primarily involve investigations that often last for at least a week, she allows him to roam and assist others in their endeavors.

the nickname "riri" is none other than mitsuri's idea.

speaking of which, why exactly is her name chosen as it is? ...

the name "akari" is associated with the concept of illumination or radiance, while "fuyutsuki" combines the words for "winter" and "moon" in Japanese. so when combined, the name "akari fuyutsuki" evokes the image of a shining or radiant moon during the winter season, symbolizing beauty and tranquility in connection with the cold weather. though, i personally go with the analogy that it represents hope amidst the dreaded void of hollowness.

[answersfromzestual]

Information on Testosterone Hormone Therapy:

As you prepare to begin treatment, now is a great time to think through what your goals are, as the approach to hormone therapy is definitely not one-size-fits-all.

Do you want to get started right away on a path to the maximum safe effects? Or, do you want to begin at a lower dose and allow things to progress more slowly? Perhaps your long term goal is to seek less-than-maximal effects and you would like to remain on a low dose for the long term. Thinking about your goals will help you communicate more effectively with your medical provider (an endocrinologist is the best way) as you work together to map out your care plan.

Many people are eager for hormonal changes to take place rapidly- understandably so. But it's very important to remember that the extent of, and rate at which your changes take place, depend on many factors. These factors include your genetics, the age at which you start taking hormones, and your overall state of health.

Consider the effects of hormone therapy as a second puberty, and puberty normally takes years for the full effects to be seen. Taking higher doses of hormones will not necessarily bring about faster changes, but it could endanger your health. And because everyone is different, your medicines or dosages may vary widely from those of your friends, or what you may have read in books or in online forums. Use caution when reading about hormone regimens that promise specific, rapid, or drastic effects. While it is possible to make adjustments in medications and dosing to achieve certain specific goals, in large part the way your body changes in response to hormones is more dependent on genetics and the age at which you start, rather than the specific dose, route, frequency, or types of medications you are taking.

While I will speak about the approach to hormone therapy in transgender men, my comments are also applicable to non-binary people who were assigned female at birth and are seeking masculinizing hormone therapy.

There are four areas where you can expect changes to occur as your hormone therapy progresses: Physical, emotional, sexual, and reproductive.

Physical

The first physical changes you will probably notice are that your skin will become a bit thicker and more oily. Your pores will become larger and there will be more oil production. You’ll also notice that the odors of your sweat and urine will change and that you may sweat more overall. You may develop acne, which in some cases can be bothersome or severe, but usually can be managed with good skin care practices and common acne treatments. Some people may require prescription medications to manage acne, please discuss this with your provider. Generally, acne severity peaks during the first year of treatment, and then gradually improves. Acne may be minimized by using an appropriate dosing of testosterone that avoids excessively high levels.

Your chest will not change much in response to testosterone therapy. That said, surgeons often recommend waiting at least 6-12 months after the start of testosterone therapy before having masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, in order to first allow the contours of the muscles and soft tissues of your chest wall to settle in to their new pattern.

Your body will begin to redistribute your weight. Fat will diminish somewhat around your hips and thighs. Your arms and legs will develop more muscle definition, with more prominent veins and a slightly rougher appearance, as the fat just beneath the skin becomes a bit thinner. You may also gain fat around your abdomen.

Your eyes and face will begin to develop a more angular, male appearance as facial fat decreases and shifts. Please note that it’s not likely your bone structure will change, though some people in their late teens or early twenties may see some subtle bone changes. It may take 2 or more years to see the final result of the facial changes.

Your muscle mass will increase, as will your strength, although this will depend on a variety of factors including diet and exercise. Overall, you may gain or lose weight once you begin hormone therapy, depending on your diet, lifestyle, genetics and muscle mass.

Testosterone will cause a thickening of the vocal chords, which will result in a more male-sounding voice. Not all trans men will experience a full deepening of the pitch of their voice with testosterone, however. Some may find that practicing various vocal techniques or working with a speech therapist may help them develop a voice that feels more comfortable and fitting. Voice changes may begin within just a few weeks of beginning testosterone, first with a scratchy sensation in the throat or feeling like you are hoarse. Next your voice may break a bit as it finds its new tone and quality.

The hair on your body, including your chest, back and arms will increase in thickness, become darker and will grow at a faster rate. You may expect to develop a pattern of body hair similar to other men in your family—just remember, though, that everyone is different and it can take 5 or more years to see the final results.

Regarding the hair on your head: most trans men notice some degree of frontal scalp hair thinning, especially in the area of your temples. Depending on your age and family history, you may develop thinning hair, male pattern baldness or even complete hair loss. Approaches to managing hair loss in trans men is the same as with cisgender men; treatments can include the partial testosterone blocker finasteride, minoxidil, which is also known as Rogaine, applied to the scalp, and hair transplantation. As with cis men, unfortunately there is no way to completely prevent male pattern baldness in those predisposed to develop this condition. Ask your provider for more information on strategies for managing hair loss.

Regarding facial hair, beards vary from person to person. Some people develop a thick beard quite rapidly, others take several years, while some never develop a full, thick beard. Just as with cisgender men, trans men may have varying degrees of facial hair thickness and develop it at varying ages. Those who start testosterone later in life may experience less overall facial hair development than those who start at younger ages.

Lastly, you may notice changes in your perception of the senses. For example, when you touch things, they may “feel different” and you may perceive pain and temperature differently. Your tastes in foods or scents may change.

Emotional state changes

The second area of impact of hormone therapy is on your emotional state.

Puberty is a roller coaster of emotions and the second puberty that you will experience during your transition is no exception. You may find that you have access to a narrower range of emotions or feelings, or have different interests, tastes or pastimes, or behave differently in relationships with other people. For most people, things usually settle down after a period time. Some people experience little or no change in their emotional state. I encourage you to take the time to learn new things about yourself, and sit with new or unfamiliar feelings and emotions while you explore and familiarize yourself with them. While psychotherapy is not for everyone, many people find that working with a therapist while in transition can help you to explore these new thoughts and feelings, get to know your new body and self, and help you with things like coming out to family, friends, or coworkers, and developing a greater level of self-love and acceptance.

Sexual changes

The third area of impact of hormone therapy is on your sexuality

Soon after beginning hormone treatment, you will likely notice a change in your libido. Quite rapidly, your genitals, especially your clitoris, will begin to grow and become even larger when you are aroused. You may find that different sex acts or different parts of your body bring you erotic pleasure. Your orgasms will feel different, with perhaps more peak intensity and a greater focus on your genitals rather than a whole body experience. Some people find that their sexual interests, attractions, or orientation may change when taking testosterone; it is best to explore these new feelings rather than keep them bottled up.

Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment with your new sexuality through masturbation and with sex toys. If you have a sex partner or partners, involve them in your explorations..

Reproductive system changes

The fourth area of impact of hormone therapy is on the reproductive system.

You may notice at first that your periods become lighter, arrive later, or are shorter in duration, though some may notice heavier or longer lasting periods for a few cycles before they stop altogether.

Testosterone may reduce your ability to become pregnant but it does not completely eliminate the risk of pregnancy. Transgender men can become pregnant while on testosterone, so if you remain sexually active with someone who is capable of producing sperm, you should always use a method of birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Transgender men may use any form of contraception, including the numerous options available that do not contain estrogen, and some that contain no hormones at all. There are many contraception options that are long acting and do not require taking a daily pill. Transgender men may also use emergency contraception, also known as the “morning after pill”. Ask your medical provider for more information on the contraceptive and family planning options available to you.

If you suspect you may have become pregnant or have a positive pregnancy test while taking testosterone, speak with you provider as soon as possible, as testosterone can endanger the fetus.

If you do want to have a pregnancy, you’ll have to stop testosterone treatment and wait until your provider tells you that it’s okay to begin trying to conceive.

It’s also important to know that, depending on how long you’ve been on testosterone therapy, it may become difficult for your ovaries to release eggs, and you may need to consult with a fertility specialist and use special medications or techniques, such as in vitro fertilization, to become pregnant. These treatments are not always covered by insurance, and can be expensive. Uncommonly, testosterone therapy may cause you to completely lose the ability to create fertile eggs or become pregnant.

Risks

While cisgender men do have higher rates of cholesterol related disorders and heart disease than cisgender women, the available research on transgender men taking testosterone has generally not found these differences. Most of the research on risk of heart disease and strokes in transgender men suggests that risk does not increase once testosterone is begun. However, longer term, definitive studies are lacking. It has been suggested that the risk of other conditions such as diabetes or being overweight is increased by masculinizing testosterone therapy, however actual research supporting these claims are limited.

One known risk is that testosterone can make your blood become too thick, otherwise known as a high hematocrit count, which can cause a stroke, heart attack or other conditions. This can be a particular problem if you are taking a dose that is too high for your body’s metabolism. This can be prevented by maintaining an appropriate dose and through blood tests to monitor blood and hormone levels.

While available data are limited, it does not appear that testosterone increases the risk of cancer to the uterus, ovaries, or breasts. Because not all breast tissue is removed during masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, there is a theoretical risk that breast cancer could develop in the remaining tissue. However, it can be difficult to screen for breast cancer in this tissue, and there are risks of a false positive test result. Your provider can give you more information about breast cancer screening after top surgery.

Cervical cancer is caused by an infection with the human papillomavirus, or HPV. HPV is transmitted sexually, more commonly by having sexual contact with someone who has a penis. However, people who have never had sexual contact with a penis may still contract an HPV infection. The HPV vaccine can greatly reduce your risk of cervical cancer, and you may want to discuss this with your provider. Pap smears are used to detect cervical cancer or precancer conditions, as well as an HPV infection. Your provider will make a recommendation as to how often you should have a pap smear. It is unclear if testosterone therapy plays any role in HPV infection or cervical cancer.

If your periods have stopped because of testosterone treatment, be sure to report any return of bleeding or spotting to your provider, who may request an ultrasound or other tests to be certain the bleeding isn’t a symptom of an imbalance of the lining of the uterus. Sometimes such an imbalance could lead to a precancerous condition, although this is rare in transgender men. Missing a dose or changing your dose can sometimes result in return of bleeding or spotting. Some men may experience a return of spotting or heavier bleeding after months or even years of testosterone treatment. In most cases this represents changes in the body’s metabolism over time. To be safe, always discuss any new or changes to bleeding patterns with your doctor.

Fortunately, since you do not have a prostate, you have no risk of prostate cancer and there is no need to screen for this condition.

If you have had your ovaries removed, it is important to remain on at least a low dose of hormones post-op until at minimum age 50. This will help prevent a weakening of the bones, otherwise known as osteoporosis, , which can result in serious and disabling bone fractures.

Most people using masculinizing testosterone therapy will experience at least a small amount of acne. Some may experience more advanced acne. Often this acne responds to typical over-the-counter treatments, but in some cases prescription medication may be required. Acne usually peaks within the first year of treatment and then begins to improve.

While gender affirming hormone therapy usually results in an improvement in mood, some people may experience mood swings or a worsening of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions as a result of the shifts associated with starting a second puberty. If you have any mental health conditions it is recommended you remain in discussion with a mental health providers as you begin hormone therapy.

Other medical conditions may be impacted by gender affirming hormone therapy, though research is lacking. These include autoimmune conditions, which can sometimes improve or worsen with hormone shifts, and migraines, which often have a hormonal component. Ask your medical provider if you have further questions about the risks, health monitoring needs, and other long term considerations when taking hormone therapy.

Some of the effects of hormone therapy are reversible, if you stop taking them. The degree to which they can be reversed depends on how long you have been taking testosterone. Clitoral growth, facial hair growth, voice changes and male-pattern baldness are not reversible.

Testosterone treatment approaches

Testosterone comes in several forms. Injections are usually best given weekly to maintain even levels of testosterone in the blood. Studies have shown that using a smaller needle and injection by the subcutaneous, or under the skin, approach, is just as effective as the intramuscular approach, which involves a larger needle injecting deeper into the muscle. In addition to injections, there are gel and patches that can be applied to the skin daily. The gel is applied to skin and once dry, you can swim, shower, and have contact with others. The patch also allows swimming, showering, exercise, and contact with others. All of these forms work equally well when the dosing is adjusted to achieve the desired hormone levels, and the decision about which form to use should be based mostly on your preference.

Another option for testosterone is the use of pellets under the skin. These are inserted every few months via a minor in-office procedure. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Recently, an oral form of testosterone, taken as a pill twice daily, has been approved for use. There are potential risks of high blood pressure when taking this medication, so extra steps need to be taken to monitor your health if you choose to use this form of your testosterone. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Regardless of the type of testosterone you are taking, it’s important to know that taking more testosterone will not make your changes progress more quickly, but could cause serious side effects or complications. Excess testosterone can result in mood symptoms or irritability, bloating, pelvic cramping, or even a return of menstruation. High levels of testosterone also result in increased estrogen levels, as a percentage of all testosterone in the body is converted to estrogen. In general estrogen blocking medicines are not used as a part of masculinizing hormone therapy.

Other medications that may be used include progestagens, which are hormones similar to or identical to those made by the body to maintain a balance in the lining of the uterus. These hormones can be used in cases where periods continue after testosterone levels have been optimized. These hormones can cause mood swings, bloating, and other side effects, so it is recommended that you discuss these medications further with you provider if they are to be used.

Final thoughts

And finally, please remember that all of the changes associated with the puberty you’re about to experience can take years to develop. Starting hormone therapy in your 40s, 50s, or beyond may bring less drastic changes than one might see when beginning transition at a younger age, due to the accumulated lifetime exposure to estrogen, and declining responsiveness to hormone effects as one approaches the age of menopause. Once you have achieved male-range testosterone levels, taking higher doses won’t result in faster or more dramatic changes, however they can result in more side effects or complications.

Now that you have learned about the effects of masculinizing hormone therapy, as well as risks and specific medication options, the next step will be to speak with your provider about what approach is best for you.

Source

[twst-drabbles]

Ace and Jamil 1

Summary: While Jamil loves his little spot in paradise, he often find himself going through the mirror right back to your main home and not the copy left in his land. You and Kalim were napping. Ace, the little nymph, was trying to make Kalim sneeze awake.

(Ace is just one of those people that you can never sleep around safely, especially if you’re a deep sleeper. Also, while I am doing an event, it’s not going to really affect my ability to make my regular drabbles.)

Never try to imply that Jamil is too used to the smell of your home, he’ll come up with about a hundred excuses as to why that isn’t true. They can range from things simply not being done right, or that you need him more than you think. Really, anything he can use so long as it doesn’t put him in a position that implies he hates being away from you.

Which, while true, Jamil has already put himself in a rather seemingly neutral position. That he’s this very independent familiar that has no need for any companions that aren’t himself. Jamil is very sure that many see right through him, you included, but because everyone plays along, Jamil continues with this charade of his.

That being said, while Jamil was silently slithering through the doorway with a blanket ready for you and Kalim, there was something amusing about the little plant nymph Ace standing on the latter’s head.

Ace’s shoulder’s were hunched, like he had too much anger bottled up in that tiny body of his. In one hand was a long blade of grass. As Jamil got closer, Ace brandished that plant high in the air, as though ready to slay a foe. Carefully, Ace laid on his belly, gripped Kalim’s hair, and tickled his nose using the end of that grass.

“Think you can steal my beignets…sleep in my couch…with my caretaker…” If you were awake to listen, you’d certainly be laughing at him. Jamil can tell Ace tries so hard to sound serious and cool, but usually falls just a few inches short of that.

Besides, those beignets were not his. Jamil made them cause he knew Kalim liked to snack while he was here and he didn’t want you to deal with him hunger whines while you cooked. And his caretaker? Please. Jamil has more to offer than what this bundle of leaves and tulips can.

…but, Ace’s certainly petty, isn’t he? Well, at least his response to jealousy was harmless. However, Jamil is here and he’s not really in the mood to have you and Kalim know that he’s here. He’ll do nice things here and there but he doesn’t want you to attach his face to those deeds. Even if you do know that’s him, he wants to leave a certain level of plausible deniability.

“Hey,” Jamil bent down over the back of his couch, hissing into Ace’s ear, “what are you doing?”

Ace didn’t squeak or scream. He couldn’t. He went so still and stiff his noises got caught in his chest. He dropped the grass and would’ve fallen over with it had Jamil not scooped him up with the end of his tail.

“You’re going to wake both of them up,” Jamil jiggled Ace a bit just to get him focusing on him, “and you do realize if you do, the Caretaker’s going to mess with you, right?”

Pranks beget pranks, as you once said. You don’t like leaving a deed unpaid.

“I..I wasn’t doing anything that bad…” Ace wretched his arms out, crossing them over his chest, “I was just having a little fun, is all. But what are you doing here? I thought you liked being alone cause everyone is so bothersome.”

Now he trying to get under his skin since Ace’s fun was interrupted. Jamil can hear the sneering grin in his voice.

“I was going to grab some snacks for myself, but I saw Kalim there without a blanket. If he catches a cold, there will be trouble.” But Jamil was undeterred. He’s practiced his excuses many a time. Some more flimsy than others.

“Sure, sure.” Clearly, this was one of them.

Jamil had a fun time tossing Ace like a baseball through his mirror.

[celestiall0tus]

So, let's finally analyze this finale...

I , like many on here, feel that it is time to talk about the finale of Miraculous s5. I personally have had time to sit on it and read some of the views of others in the fandom and let's fully dive into this.

So, let's get the big one out of the way: Adrien. I know a lot of people are upset with the way that he was handled, and I see why. I personally am indifferent, but I see the issues clear as day. Adrien should have been there. He should have been there for the final altercation, but was denied that. Instead, he got to be the classic damsel in distress, a Grimm's fairytale heroine that had no true say in their fate. Yes, Adrien couldn't fight his father since Gabriel had the rings, but Gabriel didn't know that Adrien was Chat Noir. Thus, he could have been there for that fight so long as he was never revealed.

On top of this is the bad writing when it comes to the "nightmares." I had briefly mentioned this before, but didn't fully elaborate. So, allow me to while I blissfully ignore that BS magic was involved. Nightmares in the purest sense are vivid dreams that possess a threatening, upsetting, bizarre, or bothersome quality. What Monarch did would technically count as nightmares being bothersome, but shouldn't have invoked that level of response. I get that magic was clearly involved, but wasn't fully explained, at least to what I took in. As I understand it, he brought forth their worst fears to manifest as "nightmares." This is my personal biggest gripe as nightmares aren't like that. While vivid, they aren't clear cut and to the point. They are vague and terrifying. Like, being chased around a resort full of strangers by a murder that specifically wants to do you harm and you are terrified. Or even you being a serial killer that goes on a rampage, killing children. Or, better yet, a vision of a white-faced demon with a long, trunk like nose trying to invade your sanctuary while you run away in complete terror and before you dive into darkness you hear her ask that you come see her so she can die. Those are nightmares. Not what the show portrayed as "nightmares."

That leads me into Monarch's plan. On paper, it's actually impressive. And worked, but only because of unclear magic rules in effect. As I stated above, I don't remember a mention how the emotions would have been blown out of proportion, just that the nightmares would surface and haunt the people. As such, I find it incredibly irritating that everyone reacted the way that they did. I get brainwashing with technology and that BS, but it just felt so stupid. Like, I get the rest of the world turning on Ladybug and Chat Noir, but Paris? You're telling me that in the whole of Paris, where Ladybug and Chat Noir have been working to protect the people, are that quick to turn on their heroes and Alya is the only one to call bullshit on it? What the fuck? Seriously? Fucking bullshit on all aspects.

I have no thoughts on the fight between Bug Noire and Monarch until the final bit where Bugaboo holds Monarch at gunpoint. I do wonder if Bug was paying attention to all the rings on Monarch's hand and saw the twin rings. If I'm not mistaken (which I may be) those were present during Felix and Kagami's reenactment, so she'd know there was an amok in there, right? She'd know that was Adrien's entire life right there, right? So, I get why Gabriel acted the way he did. On some level, he was keeping his son safe. To a degree, Adrien has been a reason why Gabriel does what he does (even if he is willing to sacrifice his son at certain points and use him like another tool in his arsenal). It's actually poetic that Monarch is able to take advantage of Marinette being a fucking dumbass when she de transforms. Lesson learned, not everyone is trustworthy. There are people that are legitimately out there to get you. I get that she is young, but there you go. Or, well, maybe not.

One gripe I want to get to before something that has always irked me. Gabriel got his wish. A fucking reality altering wish. As much as I'd like to forget that Ephemeral exists, it does and we're left with the fact that is what happens when a wish is made. I was genuinely hoping that it remained contained to the what if scenario, but here we are. Reality has been warped to what Gabriel wanted in the end. A soft reset if you will. I fucking hate this shit. It's not enough that you have to pay a price for the wish. No, we need to rewrite reality on top of that. Fucking bullshit on so many fucking levels that I just fucking can't. Absolute bullshit. I don't fucking care if you let him have the damn wish, just don't fucking add in that it changes all of fucking reality. Like, FUCK!

So, that which irks me. The fact that the fucking kwamis are bound to obey those that hold their jewels. Like, fucking hell. This will always piss me off. These are essentially god like beings that they themselves see as a danger and need to be contained. Like, what the fuck? It annoyed the ever living hell out of me that Plagg and Tikki just had to bend over backward because of this. I get magic and that fucking BS, but I still hate it. If we're going to do this kind of shit, it needs to be better explained. Especially with magic because just saying "Because magic" isn't good enough. With X amount of magic systems, who fucking knows at this point. If you're going to include that shit, you need to actually explain it. And not in the fifth season where you still don't fully explain shit. Maybe they did explain it and I mentally blocked it out, but for fuck's sake, explain shit better!

I want to add in a piece I forgot. The finale could have been great if it tightened the script and series of events. A clear cut explanation for the magic and how the nightmares worked. Potentially allowing Chat to join the final battle. Cutting out all the scenes with the other people just for a reunion of sorts. They ultimately didn't add anything to Bug's final battle except as a distraction. We didn't need Luka knowing kung Fu (as hilarious as it was) we didn't need to see the other heroes from the specials, and we didn't need Bunnix returning if it doesn't help directly against Monarch aside from being a distraction. You can show us one scene of all that and continue on with the day.

That is all for this piece. I will touch on the subject of redemption and abuse as I believe they should be further explored, just not in this post. If you're interested for another L0tus rant, stay tune.

Have a good night everyone.

[roleplay-abiogenesis2]

This is a PSA (and I wish I didn't have to)

//All right, so here we go. I had this saved in my drafts for a while now, like at least a month, because I didn't want it to be a vaguing post, nor a call-out. The person who prompted this is long gone from my life, but the problem isn't. Which is why I didn't delete this draft, I suppose. And am now posting it.

Ever since my blog has entered the Genshin RPC, my load of active threads has reached levels I have never experienced before. Back before February, I could go days and days before getting a reply at all. My drafts sat at zero most of the week, and so my replies were faster. But now.. now I have many wonderful new friends here. And I want to write with all of them. This necessarily means that the time I can dedicate to each individual partner has sadly gone down as a consequence.

This is where trouble begins. There has been an increasing number (nothing dramatic, don't get me wrong) of people among my new mutuals, or non-mutuals, who have been a bit too pressuring for my comfort to get replies from me. Some straightforwardly so, others through more passive-aggressive and manipulative means.

I do not want to get into that with this post though. All I'll say on the matter is that I know what you're doing. Don't think you're a smooth criminal because I am too. I've done these tricks before and I can recognize them.

Those who I deemed to be bothersome enough to earn an upfront request to stop have already been dealt with. Some I parted ways with (glad it's been civil), others have stayed and I am happy things are better now. But there's always going to be new ones. I think it's a form of blog growing pains, maybe.

To these people, I want to say that I feel you. I was where you were before. I know the excitement of finding a RP partner that inspires you and the frustration when they're not as quick to respond to you. But you need to keep in mind that just as I am excited to get to our things, I am excited to do the same for my other mutuals. I will not be able to prioritize our threads all the time, because there's fifty threads I feel exactly the same love for and I want to prioritize those too, but I only have a few hours a day. I need to pick and choose. I'm sorry.

I'd like to recommend that you do not make one or two blogs responsible for your happiness on Tumblr. I know finding new mutuals is hard, but please don't make my same mistake: I used to sit on my ass for months here, waiting for people to send me things. It was a mistake, really. If you want to write, you must be the one who sends things. Even if others don't respond. Even if others don't ever send things back.

Throw your muse at anything that moves. Something will stick, I promise. And what if your dash is full of things you're unfamiliar with? What if your partners all have muses out of your interested fandom? It doesn't matter. Throw your muse at them anyways. Chances are your threads will be noticed by others on your mutuals' dashes, and then, all of a sudden, people from your fandom are finally finding their way to you.

That is how I got to meet each and every one of you, after all.

So, yes. I'm sorry my replies are slow at the moment. My drafts are currently 2 weeks old at the oldest, but I'm trying to bring it down to at least a weekly reply for everybody. It's not easy. But you know what you can do to make the wait easier? Write with more people. Even if it's not things you were looking for; crossovers may surprise you. Give OCs a chance.

And, well, nothing else. Don't be a dingus. I love you. Leave my soda alone. And thank you for your patience.

Saru-mun\\

[roachliquid]

Was Lovecraft Ableist? An Examination of "Lovecraftian Madness", Part 2: The Call of Cthulhu

(Warnings for this post include spoilers for The Call of Cthulhu, and Lovecraft-typical racism as well as period-typical ableism.)

In my last post about Lovecraft, I began an examination of the subject of "Lovecraftian madness" - specifically, how the term is used today, what people believe it to mean, and whether Lovecraft intended it in an ableist and derogatory sense. To figure this out, I decided to look at two of his best known works: At the Mountains of Madness, a story that uses the word "madness" more often than I change my underwear, and The Call of Cthulhu, a story notorious for its plot point of people getting the brain scramblies from seeing visions of an elder god.

Since this is a pretty in-depth topic, I've split it into two posts. In the last one I examined At the Mountains of Madness and its relationship to the infamous word. Based on the context and usage within the story, I determined that while it wasn't without its issues, it had nothing to do with the concept of mental illness at the time and, generally speaking, was not ableist of Lovecraft to use.

So what about the story that started it all? And I don't just mean "Lovecraftian madness" - I mean evil cults trying to summon their apocalyptic gods, the aforementioned and legendary brain scramblies, and the introduction of the Mythos' most iconic and misunderstood character, Cthulhu* himself.

Well, The Call of Cthulhu is already notorious for its disturbing levels of racism, so it wouldn't be terribly surprising to find out that it was ableist as well. What did surprise me is that, contrary to the insistence of many of Lovecraft's fans... not once did he describe the phenomenon that everyone is familiar with as "madness".

So, what did he call it? Well, the story features a diverse assortment of terms and euphemisms. A few of the choicest entries:

The (newspaper) cuttings largely alluded to outré mental illnesses and outbreaks of group folly or mania in the spring of 1925.

On March 23d, the manuscript continued, Wilcox failed to appear; and inquiries at his quarters revealed that he had been stricken with an obscure sort of fever and taken to the home of his family in Waterman Street… …Reference to this object, the doctor added, was invariably a prelude to the young man’s subsidence into lethargy. His temperature, oddly enough, was not greatly above normal; but his whole condition was otherwise such as to suggest true fever rather than mental disorder.

The subject, a widely known architect with leanings toward theosophy and occultism, went violently insane on the date of young Wilcox’s seizure, and expired several months later after incessant screamings to be saved from some escaped denizen of hell.

Mental illness, mental disorder, and violent insanity. Yikes.

But he doesn't stop there. Having pathologized the hell out of anyone affected by this phenomenon, Lovecraft goes on to take potshots at some of his least favorite people:

Voodoo orgies multiply in Hayti, and African outposts report ominous mutterings. American officers in the Philippines find certain tribes bothersome about this time, and New York policemen are mobbed by hysterical Levantines on the night of March 22–23.

From what I've been able to glean, "Levantine" is a general term referring to people from the Levant region, but this being Lovecraft, he may in fact have been referring to Jewish people - I have no way of knowing for sure.

He gives us a parting shot at the mentally ill, for good measure:

And so numerous are the recorded troubles in insane asylums, that only a miracle can have stopped the medical fraternity from noting strange parallelisms and drawing mystified conclusions.

Now, before I continue, there are a couple of things that I want to make note of. First, while Lovecraft's hatred for minority races went above and beyond the norms of his time, many of his prejudicial beliefs were standard, and that includes the way he talks about mental illness in this story.

Second, Lovecraft's relationship to the entire concept of mental illness was both deeply personal and fraught with torment. Lovecraft's own parents were institutionalized at different points, and he himself suffered from what may well have been an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, as well as possible issues with emotional dysregulation, and a sensitivity to stress that profoundly impacted his mental and physical health. This, in turn, contributed to an unhealthy preoccupation with the concept of mental illness, specifically the fear that he would succumb to the same fate as his father.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, this isn't a scathing indictment on his character in the way that his racism was. However, what this does not change is one simple, undeniable fact:

The Call of Cthulhu, and the associated notion of elder gods melting your brains with their mere presence, is rooted in ableism.

This entire story describes some kind of mental plague that disproportionately affects people like Lovecraft himself - the emotionally sensitive, the mentally ill, and so on. While we can take this as the internalized ableism and self-deprecation that it was, it was still an exhibition of bigotry toward the neurodivergent.

And despite people's best intentions, changing "mental illness" to "madness" does not magically erase that fact. And anyone who tries to tell you that Lovecraft never intended it to be about mental illness, it was just alien influence, I swear! is either lying, or in desperate need of a reread of this story.

Now, that doesn't mean that there aren't ways to make this concept less shitty. You could get away from the whole 'mental illness' thing and lean into the Psychic Exposure To Alien Minds angle - provided you're careful not to produce some tacit implication that some people are just weaker minded, as Lovecraft did. Or you could go the Mountains of Madness route and not talk about psychic aliens at all, just the consequences of stress and trauma on the human mind.

But what doesn't work, and what doesn't help anyone who suffers from mental illness, is to pretend that the ableism was never there. That's never going to be true, however fervently we can wish it was.

*Pronounced Ckhloo-loo, if you're a Mythos purist. Neat little tidbit I picked up while researching on www.hplovecraft.com.

[elizaviento]

Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine (Part 12 of ?)

(Stardew Valley — Shane/Female Farmer/OC)

This chapter is rated mostly SFW — 3452 words. Just the tiniest bit of dirty talk.

Note: :)

(FYI: Additional chapters of Green on the Vine — Strawberry Wine can be found in the Stardew Valley Fic Masterpost link in my blog description.  Or, you can click the #green on the vine strawberry wine tag in this post, within my blog, to access all additional chapters.)

*****

"Hey, man – your girlfriend just walked in," Sam said, rounding the corner as Shane slashed open the top of a cardboard box with his dulling boxcutter.

"What?" Shane pinched his brow as the younger man emerged through the gloom of the back stockroom.

"Yeah, she's talking to Morris, and she looks, I dunno, kinda pissed?"

Shane sighed, unsure if he wanted to address the girlfriend comment or wonder aloud why Morris would be talking to her. He decided on the former.

"She's not my girlfriend," he mumbled, retracting the blade of the boxcutter and shoving it in the back pocket of his uniform shorts. And, technically, she wasn't. At least, not yet. Payday loomed ahead, Friday seeming like years away instead of days, and he planned to buy the biggest, dumbest bouquet he could afford.

"Whatever you say, my man," Sam replied with a chuckle. "Anytime she's ever come here, it's to find you, so…" The younger man shrugged, a lopsided grin finishing the sentence for him. "Want me to go see what they're talking about?"

"No," Shane responded, pushing past Sam to crack the stockroom door just enough to catch sight of Kristen and Morris standing next to Claire's register. The cashier, as usual, stood glassy-eyed and nearly nodding off while the tense conversation unfolded mere feet away. Shane knew that Kristen had a hand in the store manager's transfer to Pelican Town several years prior, but the stance they displayed hinted at something a little more complicated.

"Think he's hitting on her?" Sam asked. Shane figured it was a lousy attempt at a joke, but the insinuation caused his hackles to rise, and he flushed, overwhelmed by an emotion he couldn't quite name but recognized as a mixture of protectiveness and jealousy.

"It's questionable if Morris is even human," Shane replied, eyeing the man as he loomed over Kristen. "I doubt he has the capacity to love anything other than Joja."

Sam snickered as he approached Shane and peered through the crack above his head. "I think she can take him. Wanna bet?"

Shane scoffed but couldn't deny that the mental image of the farmer socking his shitty boss in the jaw almost had him standing at half-mast. But just when he was about to turn down that hypothetical bet, his walkie-talkie crackled to life, startling him enough to slam the stockroom door closed as if he and Sam had been caught witnessing something untoward.

"Shane Davis, you're free to go to lunch. Oh, and you have a guest at the front of the store. Best not keep her waiting."

"She ain't your girlfriend, my ass," Sam laughed, clapping the shorter man on the shoulder. "Damn, can't believe Morris is actually letting you go to lunch, too."

"Yeah," Shane agreed. "Can you finish unpacking these while I'm gone?"

"No problemo, pal."

"For real this time," Shane amended, narrowing his eyes. "Morris will blame me if he comes back here and finds they aren't."

Sam nodded, well aware that their manager seemed to harbor some sort of a grudge against his co-worker. "Yeah, man. Promise."

Shane thanked him and cautiously exited the stockroom, peering left and right as if he would be ambushed by Morris or a bothersome customer at any second. Finding the coast clear, he made his way toward the front, hugging the outside wall until he reached the row of cash registers and cut across them toward Kristen from the side.

Stepping out into the noonday sunshine hand in hand with the farmer felt surreal on a level that Shane had never experienced but also more natural than he could have imagined. Despite his protests that he wasn't ashamed of the townsfolk knowing they were involved, he caught himself scanning the immediate vicinity for wandering eyes and whispering voices. Shame still had nothing to do with his misplaced caution. Well, at least not for himself. 

Shifting his eyes to the side as they strolled, Shane attempted to absorb how Kristen's hair shone like fire in the sun and how her freckles darkened ever so slightly. The sway of her hips as she walked, the chiffon of her sundress swishing around her thighs with each step. The red tinge of her lipstick and how it reminded him of lip prints on a shot glass while fat snowflakes coated cobblestones under the moonlight. 

"You look really pretty today," he said, glad that the statement sounded as normal as he rehearsed it in his mind.

"Oh… thank you."

She blushed – actually blushed – and Shane was suddenly teleported back to 7th grade, starry-eyed and cooing over the prettiest girl in class. A girl who would ultimately end up his girlfriend but would break his heart weeks later. A girl who would, despite teenage angst, remain his best friend. A girl who would honor that lifelong friendship by making him the godfather of her beloved daughter only months before she died. 

When Shane opened the door to the Saloon — holding it open for Kristen so she could enter first — he was relieved that Emily's smiling face was the only one staring back at them. This early in the day, traffic was sparse regardless, but the lack of other patrons meant he could pretend they were all alone.

"Gus is pulling your pizza from the oven now!" Emily said, fetching a couple of glasses from below the bar. "Take a seat, and I'll bring it over soon!"

Kristen made way toward their usual spot, but Shane gently tugged her toward the corner booth instead, heart fluttering when she caught his eye and smirked.

"This is cozy," she remarked, settling in on his opposite side. The plastic bag she'd been carrying crinkled as she sat it beside her, and his imagination soared with what could be inside.

"Uh — yeah," he agreed as Emily approached, sat two glasses of water down in front of them, and left without a word. Shane's eyes briefly followed the waitress until she turned and shot him a knowing wink. "Thanks for ordering the food."

The farmer stared at him for several endless seconds before replying, "Thanks for letting me hold your hand on the walk over here." Her own hand landed on his bare knee under the table, inching slightly upward, nails lightly scraping through his leg hair. Shane flinched reflexively, unprepared and never expecting such a bold move in public. "Last night was so sexy."

Shane's eyes darted toward the bar and then around the remainder of the deserted Saloon, paranoia creeping up his spine like a slithering swamp creature no human had ever laid eyes on. When he found Emily casually slicing their pizza and loading a tray with the pan and plates, he relaxed, if only slightly.

"Kriss."

"Sorry," she said, retreating her hand. Shane found himself regretting such a prudish response when the warm print of her palm cooled almost instantly. He suppressed a shiver even as he noticed the burn again spreading across her cheeks. "I guess something about you makes me feral."

The confession shot a lightning bolt straight to Shane's dick, and he felt it twitch like the fingers of a reanimated corpse in a bad zombie flick. He was momentarily speechless, still astounded that a woman like her could find anything sexy about a guy like him.

"Babe, I'm barely keeping my shit together here," he said, attempting to soothe her silly insecurities. "I'm grateful for the pizza, but uh —" he took another cursory glance at their surroundings, calculating he had just enough time to utter the filth sitting on the tip of his tongue before Emily was in earshot, "— I'd be just as happy eating your pussy for lunch."

"Oh, fuck off," she giggled, covering her face as Emily slid the tray between them.

"One supreme pizza with extra cheese and peppers!" the waitress announced, shattering the sexual tension like she was wielding a sledgehammer. 

The remainder of their time in the Saloon was spent with leisurely conversation not unlike what they'd usually shared, interspersed with Kristen bumping his foot under the table playfully, her hand finding its way back to his knee, and the occasional sexually suggestive remark that had Shane feeling slightly delirious. He couldn't recall the last time the buds of a full-fledged relationship had begun to bloom, petals unfurling slowly and then all at once, displaying proudly for all to see. Even while serotonin spiked his brain and giddiness bubbled in his chest, he knew he could just as easily fuck it all up – crush the sprouting bud under his heel and grind it into the dirt without even realizing, akin to stepping on an ant unfortunate enough to cross his path on his routine stroll to work.

"Hmm, you ready to go back?" Kristen asked. Her hand had finally sought his under the table, their fingers interlocked, merged in the invisible void between them.

"Not really. But I'm sure Morris will call me soon if I don't."

"You still coming over after?" she asked, peeking at him from below her lashes. Shane thought she looked so heart-achingly beautiful just then and wondered how he had ever managed to contain himself since he'd laid eyes on her in this very Saloon over two years ago.

"Yeah, babe." He felt breathless, as if his chest would cave in at any second, lungs deflated. He hated wondering what label to assign to her now. Hated wondering what label she'd assigned to him. They were two grown adults; it shouldn't be this complicated, right? All he knew for sure was that if he couldn't latch his mouth to the soft expanse of her inner thighs again soon, he'd implode. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself," she replied, releasing his hand so she could root around in a hidden pocket of her sundress. Shane scrambled when she tossed a wad of crinkled bills on the table, attempting to pull his worn leather wallet from the back of his shorts pocket. "Don't! I told you this was my treat. If you're up for it, you can take me out for a real date this Friday."

"Huh?" He was acutely aware of how moronic he sounded as the word left his mouth, still flustered from feeling like a freeloader.

"Harvey got me an appointment with that surgeon in Zuzu on Friday afternoon. Wanna come with? I'd rather someone drive me than take the bus."

"I have to work, Kriss," he answered, rubbing the back of his neck. For some reason, he felt ashamed. A deadbeat stock boy doesn't usually get days off when he has a little mouth to feed.

"You've been full-time at Joja for what, 3 years now? More? You have paid time off, Shane. Knowing Morris, he probably tries to guilt you into never taking it."

"Uh —" he floundered, realizing she was absolutely right and feeling even more imbecilic because of it.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure you get this Friday off."

"Kriss, you can't just run in and start fighting my battles," he said, harsher than he'd intended. Her brow furrowed, and her eyes squinted the way they did when she was about to challenge him. "I'll ask him. Whatever you said earlier might still have him ruffled enough to agree."

Her gaze pitched to the side as she wrapped her fingers around a loose curl that had escaped the braid flowing down her back. Unease blanketed Shane like a shroud, all too familiar with her visual cues of distress. 

"Fine," she relented, albeit reluctantly. "But if he gives you shit, let me know, Okay? I mean it."

"Morris always gives me shit. Why are you so concerned about it now?"

His tone had shifted to sharp and accusatory while questions swirled in his mind. Why had she left Joja? And what the fuck was up with this sudden feud with Morris? She continuously dodged the subject, and Shane never felt the need to press because it wasn't his business. But now that she insisted on inserting herself in such an invasive manner, he felt he was owed an explanation. 

"I'm sorry, you're right," she yielded with a dispirited sigh. "I'm just feeling protective of you, I guess. I don't like the way he treats you."

Shane sucked a ragged breath between his teeth, the hostility slithering between his ribs swarmed away by a kaleidoscope of butterflies pummeling their tissue paper wings against his rapidly beating heart.

"It's alright." He shuffled in the booth, fidgeting while his mind scrambled to come up with something more substantial to say. "I'll put in the time and let you know."

Figuring that was an acceptable middle ground, he stood and motioned for her to follow, boldly taking her hand as soon as she was by his side despite a smattering of townsfolk who had also wandered in for lunch. He was planning to formally ask her to be his on Friday anyway, so fuck it.

❦❧🍓❦❧

"Shane, we have a truck delivery scheduled on Friday. You can't request time off at the last minute," Morris chided as Shane stood on the opposite side of his desk with a PTO request slip in hand.

"I already asked Sam if he'll cover, and he said yes. What's the problem?"

Rolling his eyes, Morris snatched the slip from Shane's hand and scanned it quickly. "You didn't provide a reason for requesting time off. That's required per Joja policy."

"Uh. A friend needs a ride to the city for an appointment. She can't drive right now," Shane answered. Morris' obvious obstinance for the sake of it was already wearing on his patience. 

"Ah, I see. Mrs. Jarret?"

"Who?" Shane asked. He was quickly transitioning from irritated to agitated.

"Oh," Morris scoffed, a smug expression replacing stern disappointment. "I guess you don't know your friend so well, after all, hmm? I meant Ms. Wynand."

"Okay…" Shane hedged, wondering where this little display was leading.

"I knew her rather well prior to my transfer. Perhaps she can tell you the tale sometime. Perhaps on Friday. Your time off request has been approved." With an exaggerated flourish, Morris signed his name to the slip, ripped off the carbon copy on the back, and handed it to Shane, a crooked grin splitting his face nearly in two. "Now get back to work."

The remainder of Shane's shift was spent scowling at cans of artificial green beans and bottles of yellow sports drink suspiciously resembling piss. One by one, he shoved them on the shelves, hardly aware of Sam skirting by occasionally with rock music blaring so loud through his headphones that he could be heard from a mile away. By 5 pm, Shane's jaw ached, and his head throbbed from grinding his teeth for hours on end, stewing over the cryptic bullshit hanging between Morris and his would-be girlfriend like a stationary pendulum. One tap and it would swing to and fro, shattering the illusion he'd caught himself in like shards of mirrored glass.

You're doing it again. You're trying to sabotage something good by assuming the worst. It's not like they fucked or something.

Determined not to let his sour mood ruin the rest of his evening, he clocked out, avoiding his co-workers, and briefly considered a stop at the Saloon for one beer. Maybe two.

You really want her to taste alcohol on your tongue when you kiss her? he thought, even as his feet itched to take the familiar path toward the Stardrop. Or would you rather get whiskey dick instead? Yeah, that'll be real fucking smooth…

Admitting to himself that he was, indeed, planning to take Kristen to bed as soon as he walked through the door, he recalculated his trajectory — a straight shot from the footbridge, through town, past the bus stop, and right into her arms.

Having something else to focus on, his previous doomsday broodings fell by the wayside, replaced by an old song he'd mainly heard through the crackling of FM radio as a teenager. The lyrics looped in his mind while visions of a girl with mocha skin and glossy raven hair pressed record on her tape deck, imprinting the song on a cassette tape that Shane would wear out over the years. A memory of that same girl donning a wedding dress, dancing to those lyrics with a handsome man on her arm and Shane smiling from the sidelines. Sometimes… sometimes, it didn't hurt to see them again, if only in his memories. Sometimes remembering them felt like coming home.

Uncharacteristically unburdened when he knocked on the farmer's front door, Shane inserted the key into the knob directly after. He figured Kristen would always chide him for knocking when he could enter at any moment, but that simply felt intrusive.

"Hi," she said, catching him off guard. She was standing just far enough from the door that it didn't smack her in the face when he opened it. He first noticed that she looked deathly pale, almost as pale as when he and Harvey had found her semi-unconscious in the kitchen just 4 days prior. Next was that both of her hands were tucked behind her back as if she were hiding something.

"Hey," he replied. Kristen took a measured step back, just enough to allow him room to close the door behind him and stand eye to eye, approximately a foot apart. "What's uh — is everything okay? You look sick."

Her eyes widened in response, her expression resembling a mix of panic-stricken and terrified, and Shane felt as if he were suddenly doused in pure adrenaline, fight or flight gripping him by the balls. Naturally, he was a fighter.

"Well, I do feel like I'm about to barf, so…" She trailed off into a giggle that sounded forced, as if someone were holding a loaded gun to her temple.

"Kriss, what the —"

Before he could finish, she flung one of her arms forward from behind her back, the soft crinkle of tissue paper reminding him of when Marnie stuffed gift baskets and bags with the useless garnish. Only now, it was delicately wrapped around a gigantic bouquet of flowers and thrust inches from his nose.

"I know this tradition is dumb and outdated," she began, voice wavering. Shane gently pressed the back of one hand against the bundle and slowly pushed it to the side so he could see her face, now splotched with red patches as a blush attempted to force its way to the surface. "But, I don't know. I think it's kind of sweet and romantic. I asked Pierre to bring his nicest one, but I didn't realize it would be so big. Sorry. But it's beautiful!"

She stopped babbling then, her eyes locked with his, still holding the bouquet toward him. Shane opened his mouth to reply but only gaped like a fish, literally stupefied.

"What's wrong? Do you hate it?" she asked, face crumpling the way Jas' did when she was two seconds from sobbing. "Oh god, it's too much, isn't it? This is pathetic."

Shane shook his head, still unable to articulate the barrage of emotions beating him senseless. He wanted to say so many things. He wanted to tell her that she was on the fringes of every thought that occupied his mind, no matter how fleeting. He wanted to tell her he never thought he could find true friendship again until she came crashing through his life like a wrecking ball. He wanted to tell her that the mere notion of losing her now or ever made his throat constrict like he'd swallowed a handful of wasps. But instead, he plucked the bouquet from her hand, tossed it on the tea table next to the door, and pulled her into a kiss. Tender yet yearning, his fingers tangled in her hair, pulling it loose from the braid as strands slipped between each digit. The farmer responded in kind, cupping the back of his neck with her good hand while the other settled on his hip. 

"Does this mean you'll be my boyfriend?" she asked teasingly when the pair finally parted. The color had returned to her face, filling in between the dusting of freckles that he loved so much, relief softening her features until her eyes appeared almost doe-like.

Boyfriend.

Instead of recoiling from the juvenile term for a romantic partner, he rolled it around in his mouth like a piece of hard candy, allowing the sweetness to coat his tongue. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. 

"Yeah, babe," he answered, regarding her with adoration in his eyes. "I'll never understand why you chose me, but I'll be your boyfriend. I'll be whatever you want."

***** End Note: (:

[pineapplestanacc]

common cold.

masterlist

pairing: steve harrington x reader (they/them pronouns used!!!)

summary: steve takes care of reader when she gets sick, but has a small issue along the way.

warnings: common cold, coughing, fevers, accidental hand burning, eating, cursing, please tell me if i missed anything!!!

word count: 1k

not proofread!

Steve told them to put a jacket on. In fact, he even brought a jacket in case they changed their mind. However, they didn't change their mind, and the Hawkins cold got to (Y/N). They regret not listening to Steve beforehand because, maybe if they had, they wouldn’t be stuck in bed with a blanket one minute and without the next.

Being sick was just disgusting. Feeling like shit, looking shit, it was a nightmare. Not to mention the mountains of tissue in the surrounding area all because it was just too bothersome to get up. And the fever and chills were two of the worst parts. The constant on and off again, will-they-won't-they with a cozy blanket could rival that of a cheesy romantic movie. It was sickening in the worst way possible. 

However, Steve made things better. Obviously, he couldn’t cure every illness ever with the snap of his fingers, but he did make things more enjoyable and bearable. He didn’t care about getting sick (which he was very much advised to care and stay away for just a week, if that.) And, he was willing to do anything, even if (Y/N) insisted that it wasn't necessary. 

“Please, Steve,” their voice was coarse, presumably from all the coughing done in the past 2 days. “Just,” a terrible, mucus filled cough interrupted, “want to do something. Not even that sick anymore.” (Y/N) could barely even keep their eyes open. They weren’t even tired, but it was just too much effort to keep eyelids that felt like they weighed 100 pounds open.

Steve grabbed the thermometer off of the bedside table and gently placed it below their tongue, paying close attention to where the red liquid went up to. “Sure, you aren’t that sick with a fever of 102. I can put in a movie for you if you really want something to do.” They responded to the high fever with a groan. They just wanted to be better already. Steve was very cautious when anyone was sick, but, when it was (Y/N), everything was amplified by a factor of 10. He barely even wanted them getting up on their own, afraid they may fall and hurt themselves. It was sweet really, But, to them, it got annoying quickly since they couldn’t do anything. “Are you hungry? It’s getting late.”

“Kind of. But, I can get something myself.” (Y/N) tried to get up, but not only were they too tired, but Steve was already moving to the kitchen.

“Absolutely not. You can barely sit up; there’s no way I'm letting you go to the kitchen!” Steve was a terrible cook. He could probably explode a microwave without even trying if he used it more often, so, as soon as Steve couldn’t see them, they began attempting to get up just to help.

In the kitchen, Steve had already taken out a can of chicken noodle soup, beginning to heat it up on the stove. He knew he wasn’t at the professional chef level of cooking, but what could go wrong simply heating up soup. He couldn’t think of anything, at least. 

Soon enough, the soup was ready, and grabbed the pot to pour it into a bowl. The only issue was that Steve could not pour very well, and, while most of the soup did end up in the bowl, some of the scalding hot soup ended up on Steve’s hand. 

"Fuck!" (Y/N) heard from the kitchen. They were now just at the edge of the bed, struggling to even get there. However, the moment Steve yelled out what sounded painfully, they began making their way to the kitchen as fast as possible, which still was not very fast. They were still aching and sore everywhere, but at least they were able to get up to see if Steve was okay and move just a bit.

“Steve are you oh…What happened?” Sitting on a stepladder, Steve was bandaging his left hand with a kitchen towel.

“I made chicken noodle soup?” Steve smiled, looking away from his hand. “You need to get back in bed. I don't want you to get hurt.”

“I promise you, I won’t get hurt. It’s not like I can’t walk; it’s just achy.”

“Fine, at least take your soup with you. I’ll be there in a minute.”

And just a few minutes later, Steve was laying next to (Y/N), ice pack on one hand, and spoon in the other. Fast Times, which they had put on, was playing in the background. They knew Steve loved the movie, and it was by no means the worst movie of all time. 

After they had both finished their soup, bowls stacked on the bedside table, Steve cuddled closer to (Y/N).

“Steve, you’ll catch my germs. You can’t get sick too.” They brought their shoulder up in an attempt to block Steve.

“You act like us even being in the same bed isn’t giving me all your nasty cold germs.”

“Stop making good points. I don’t like when you do that.” They brought their shoulder down, and reached their hand out to hold Steve’s homemade-bandage wrapped hand. If they brought their hand up just a little further, they could feel how soft Steve’s skin was, which was almost unusually soft.

Steve snatched his bandaged hand away from (Y/N). “Don’t want you catching a cold and a burn, babe.”

“Steve, you can’t catch a burn from someone else’s already burnt hand.” They laughed through the sentence. “Even if you could, I think your hand is thoroughly protected enough.”

“Oh, in that case, hold away!” He extended his hand back out, which (Y/N) gladly held close to them as Fast Times played, rubbing their thumb along the fuzziness of the towel and the softness of Steve’s skin.

“And Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“Please never make chicken noodle soup again.”

“I can promise not to burn my hand again, but no promises on the soup.”

[capn-queer]

Actually did some art for once, so. Woo! It's been a while, kinda been just idling trying to figure out how to make good 3d models, but I decided that like. Yeah I should just try making some 2d stuff because it's been a while. And I did. And I enjoyed it.

There's two, a Warframe character and a D&D character, don't know if I should be splitting this up into two posts but like. There's not really a tutorial or anything for using Tumblr as far as I'm aware and it seems unlikely many people will see this anyway so even if it's a bit bothersome, it shouldn't be Too bothersome.

Anyways, first one, this is Damhnait, named after the singer for Sleeping in the Cold Below. They're my Tenno OC because Warframe has been taking up my time in Destiny's stead now that the sunk cost fallacy's not holding me down. They're a bit of a bigger kid compared to a lot of the others on the Zariman, and because of that they felt responsible when everything went to shit, and tried to keep at least their little group together, which they managed pretty well, eventually ending up starting a clan and building a dojo with their friends.

Fast forwards a bit after first waking up, they're... not doing so hot as a faceless super soldier still, but they're not doing terribly, more just strangely empty as they go about their life up until the point the Second Dream happens.

They aren't the one who makes the discovery but to be fair it doesn't matter that much when you find out everything you thought you knew about yourself was built up on a lie, that lie being the idea that you and the people you are ordering to fight are adults and not a bunch of literal child soldiers.

Obviously, they are not exactly Okay after that little revelation and have not Transferred back into any of their Warframes even Once after recovering their real body, instead being carried around like in the Second Dream most of the time, also not being the most physically healthy just in general and due to that being pretty much wheelchair bound. I mean. If that wheelchair was a humanoid-killing machine capable of magnetizing people's bones.

Anyways, I tried to base them off their look in game a decent amount but obviously it's not perfect, their scars especially bother me but I haven't figured out texture for any of my other drawings and I'm certainly not stopping now.

And now onto something relatively more lighthearted, Cosgrove, named after Matt Cosgrove who plays on the TTRPG channel the Third Wheel and also made a bunch of character songs for the PCs and NPCs. He's one of my current player characters, a Wild Magic Sorcerer who had a very normal homelife with parents who love him and a dog and went to Magic Highschool and Magic College just like anyone else, eventually graduating with an ethics degree and becoming a workplace health and safety inspector for the Nine Shrines Merchant's Guild with a serious disposition and a desire to help others.

Only... well, this is a D&D character, so obviously there's problems. Not from what you might think though, this man's as straight-laced and surprisingly average as they come, with a loving family, a decent social life, a stable job, a home to come back to, etc. The only real issue is something he's dealt with his entire life, his magic, something wild and uncontrollable that he's grown to resent over the years, which is what even lead to most of his decisions, to his need for control over himself and deeply unhealthy level of responsibility for others even when reasonably he should be looking out for himself.

He joined the party, not because of his own goals or motivations, but because his best friend, my previous character Indrina Morea, ended up getting seriously messed up in the first fight she was in, not enough to kill her but enough for her to realize that she was not enough for the party as it stood then and there, and for her to make the decision to ask for help, going to the most capable person she knew, who she also knew was a strong magic user even if he actively avoided using any magic.

He's got a deeply unhealthy mindset for an adventurer obviously, adventurers are so deeply varied but they almost all Want things, have their own wants and desires, don't hesitate in dangerous situations and act on their instincts. Cosgrove though... he freezes up, he refuses to use magic unless given proper authorization by either the leader of the party or the highest rank ally available. He uses a gun in most of his fights and doesn't even Have a damaging spell.

He's the weakest link in the party, and the rest of the party doesn't Know it yet, even to him, while it's obvious he isn't exactly suited he doesn't know the extent of it, and it's going to be made Very Clear through various fights, getting singled out and having his weaknesses taken advantage of, and through it all he'll either sink on his own or the other party members will recognize what's going on and push him to start swimming. It's all a matter of whether they'll see the dangers and flaws of his current mindset before it's too late.

As you can tell by... well, all of that, I have a lot more to say about Cosgrove than I do about Damhnait, which makes sense because he's a character that's actively doing stuff and not just in my head while leveling up random items. As for his design, it's pretty simple and formal. I wanted to really hammer home how out of his depth he is here by making him... well, an office worker.

He doesn't look like some hero or even particularly fantastical, he's just a guy, he Wants to be just a guy, he's rejecting himself to be that and he's covered it up so well that if the rest of the party hadn't actively seen him using magic in combat they wouldn't even know. I also largely took inspiration from, well, two Jujutsu Kaisen characters, Nanami and a guy from the manga who I'm not gonna spoil in case any of my friends who wants to watch/read the series read this.

Anyways, that's the two of them. Who knows, maybe I'll post more within a semi-reasonable time-frame if I finish up more pics soon. I have been thinking about drawing my other active and soon to be active D&D characters, and maybe when I get more comfortable with art again I can start doing more complex things than just headshots, all just kinda depends.

At least I'm not working with MS Paint now.

[patchedrabbit]

The Smoke Surrounding Silver

I recalled how SoulSilver and HeartGold expanded on the rival's story, and with that knowledge, Silver's actions hit especially hard this time around. Sure, he was annoying and a prick, even a criminal unlike Blue, but how could you blame a kid raised in a mafia? Always trying to prove himself, better than his past, his own father. A part of me resonated with it, the part of me that takes games a bit too seriously, maybe.

cws for this pasta: death, (internal) burning

or read it here!

Despite never finishing it, I have to say that Pokémon Gold and Silver versions are some of my favorite games. The new Pokémon, the characters, having two regions in one — Hell, not even the more recent games went that far! My one complaint has to be the level curve. When I was younger, I couldn't beat the final gym leader, and eventually gave up. I always have been quite the quitter. And after I moved out, I lost my Gameboy, so there went all hope of completing that save.

  Luckily for me, recently I learned the magic of piracy. As I scoured the internet for a ROM of Gold and/or Silver, I came across one that claimed to be a direct Japanese translation. While I'm sure I could find a native English version somewhere, my curiosity was piqued. There could be any number of differences between the two, and since I have the option, I wanted to see it.

    I have to say, at first I was rather happy with choosing this translation. The dialogue changes were refreshing, the occasional grammar error was endlessly amusing, and I got to learn some neat little factoids along the way (for example, one of Gold's predetermined names is Hibiki. I still named him Gold, but it was a pretty cool pick regardless.)

  I recalled how SoulSilver and HeartGold expanded on the rival's story, and with that knowledge, Silver's actions hit especially hard this time around. Sure, he was annoying and a prick, even a criminal unlike Blue, but how could you blame a kid raised in a mafia? Always trying to prove himself, better than his past, his own father. A part of me resonated with it, the part of me that takes games a bit too seriously, maybe.

On this save, I was able to finally beat the game, even Red with enough time. Everything worked perfectly, contrary to the horror stories I've heard of illegally downloading these things. The only thing that stood out to me was that I caught a Lugia, not a Ho-Oh. I could've sworn that this was Gold version, not Silver. Maybe there was a mix up. At least I had something on my team to cover fire types anyway, my trusty Typhlosion.

    After I had completed the post-game, I tried the replay codes to access the Celebi event. Still, nothing new. I thought I had finished everything, aside from completing the Pokédex. But, really, who ever plays Pokémon games to go through that bothersome process?

    I flew back to New Bark Town with Lugia, to save and wrap things up once and for all. But once I had landed in front of my home, I immediately got a call. I groaned, the ringing of the phone had gotten annoying over this session, especially with trainers that were on — what, Route 3? — challenging me for the fiftieth time. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see Elm bugging me this time.

PROF. ELM: Gold! We have a predicament at the Bellsprout Tower. Please hurry over.

Beep.

Odd. I didn't know there were more events. Though, if the distributor wasn't lying when they called this a direct translation, maybe there was some content in the Japanese versions that were cut when they were sent abroad. Regardless, I was pretty stoked to have something new to do. I couldn't bring myself to mind the tediousness of having Lugia fly all the way the way back to Ecruteak.

    The trainers inside the Bellsprout Tower all stuck to the walls. Talking to them only gave the same plea Professor Elm had said. "Please hurry." "Help him." "We're so glad to see you, Gold." A few Pokémon were scattered here and there too, but they brought up no text box and made no noise. It was as if they were dead silent.

    I was starting to see why this could've been cut out. Things were growing eerier and eerier by the second. The music even started to fade out, growing quiet each floor I climbed, until I reached the top. Nothing. I lost control of Gold, and I assume a cut-scene began. It started with a Ho-Oh cry.

SILVER: Finally. I don't want to do this to you, but we both need it.

You want to be stronger, don't you?

There was a flash of light, and when the scene came back, the bird behind my rival had disappeared. And yet, it let out another cry. He turned to face the camera.

SILVER: So this was their goal. The Mewtwo experiments, combining the DNA of human and Pokémon. Monsters, that lot. But it doesn't matter anymore! It was all worth it, now I can finally prove I'm better than you, f- ]

The text was interrupted by a sudden exclamation point. Focus was put back on my character as Silver approached.

SILVER: YOU. I could never beat you. But now, I know what you mean. I have become one with my Pokémon, and this time, I won't lose.

The battle theme played, sounding loud from the lack of noise up until now. The text box appeared below our sprites. Silver had his arms to his sides, hair covering his face. It announced, "??? Silver wants to battle!" His sprite moved forward, in place of where his Pokémon should be. All six of his Pokéball sprites were crossed out, like they do when they have fainted. Finally, it dawned on me; the Pokémon in the tower! But, why weren't they with him? I wasn't given time to think before Lugia was released, and I prepared for battle. My first move: Fly. Silver was faster. By some stretch of the imagination, the text announced, "Silver used Sacred Fire!" Taking out nearly half of Lugia's HP. How was he so strong? And why was he using battle moves?

    Lugia fled from the scene, leaving Silver to use Sunny Day. The sudden A.I improvement would've shocked me if so much wasn't happening already. Lugia descended, chipping off maybe an eighth of Silver's health. The battle paused for another set of dialogue.

SILVER: You're going to have to try harder than that. I don't battle weaklings.

Umbreon came next. Little by little, I began to chip away at his health bar as he took my Pokémon down. I was rewarded with more dialogue when he got to half HP, and a sprite change as well. When he shifted back into the trainer position, his sprite was now hunched over, hugging his chest.

SILVER: ...Stop that. It burns.

The screen moved back to the battle, Scizor waiting patiently. He had stopped using Sacred Fire now, instead falling back on Gust and various normal types moves to finish the bug-type off. Trying to save Typhlosion for last, next to sacrifice was Ampharos. More chipping, and my fifth Pokémon was about to faint before I could trigger another dialogue.

SILVER: No. This wasn't supposed to happen. . . I was supposed to win!

 If only I didn't know what was coming. But I did. The sprite changed again, this time mangled as the boy's hair sprayed out. Ho-Oh's wings had been hastily sprawled out behind him. I had a feeling, but seeing it confirmed was devastating. He had tried to fuse himself to the legendary.

Despite my regret, the Sacred Fires returned, killing off Hitmontop with no problem. Now, only Typhlosion remained. I gulped. At least I had the type resistance.

That type resistance would save my skin, it seeems. The A.I., too desperate to try any other attack, was taken down before Typhlosion could suffer any real damage. A distorted cry of the Ho-Oh played out before Silver's sprite fell. There was no dialogue, no winning text, no money. The screen just faded to black before showing me the overworld again.

    Silver took a step back, before collapsing. Reluctantly, I followed suit, to interact with the rival. If I could even call him that now.

SILVER: . . .

Don't leave me like this. Please.

. . .

It burns.

It burns.

It BURNS!

 Another white flash, before he disappeared from view. Various people walked by me, but didn't move to talk to me. I wasn't in control, though, as hitting my arrow keys proved useless. I could just overhear their conversations.

PROF. ELM: What do we do with him? Either one may be disrespectful.

PROF. OAK: To respect a legend or a life. . . a tough choice, truly.

He wasn't. . . ? No. He couldn't be. He was just supposed to faint.

ROCKET GRUNT: What do we tell the boss?

ROCKET GRUNT: We'd have to find him first.

When all the figures faded out of view, the screen flickered to nothingness. I just barely caught my reflection, jaw agape, before I was returned to New Bark Town. No calls, no dialogue. Just as it was before Gold was requested. That was it.

I don't read Japanese, so I still don't know if this was hidden in the code or if it was the uploaders sick prank. Every now and then I climb to the top of that tower. I still don't know why. To... mourn, I guess? But that sounds ridiculous. The only thing I know for certain is how the place draws me in.

Like a moth to a flame.

[silyabeeodess]

I don't really have the time to do much art for fun lately, but here's a few small doodles I managed to whip up. I've had the DiGi Valentine quote in my head for this character for at least half a year now, so I wanted to put that to paper after all this time.

And I've got an official re-name as well! As of now, I'll be calling my Frieza Race character Jewel in reference to jewel/jewelry ice. The reasons for this change are that I mostly just came up with whatever sounded nice when setting up the character in Xenoverse 2 and, now that I've actually got some more in mind for background info, the name will tie-in with something extra besides the cold theme. I'll be working on those edits/tags soon enough with the name change.

As Sovereign Survival will reveal some info relating to that and I don't want to do any early spoilers for those interested in the story (and I am working on it, it's just going to all be dropped in a massive update), I'll keep any notes I put down for the character here simple and below the cut:

While not evil, this Frost Demon can still be pretty selfish at times--not really caring to maintain any kind of relationship with other time patrollers and often downright petty when slighted. Jewel has a strong sense of will both on and off the battlefield.

Jewel didn't initially join the Time Patrol by choice: After an impromptu/unauthorized rescue, it was either stick with them or die as the original timeline dictated. Since then, however, Jewel has grown content with the group despite being more of a self-assured loner and not always agreeing with Chronoa's orders.

While holding a successful record, this time patroller typically won't do any more than the bare minimum without feeling forced to.

The 'no flying without a license" rule backfired: The first thing Jewel did after getting a ride was crash it through a building.

While often seen wearing a scouter, Jewel doesn't use it to track power levels after an early incident where the device kept registering injured patrollers as if they were already dead--also having since learned to sense ki anyway. Instead, it's used simply for an easy means of communication.

Jewel is only comfortable without heavy bio-armor in private. Not wearing it/wearing less of it around certain people can be taken as a subtle show of trust. (Even if we don't have official transformations for the Frieza Race in the game besides Golden, I like to think switching up the bio-suits is still typical for non-mutants in the species since the customization is still fairly extensive.) Despite this, Jewel also often finds the heavier armor bothersome to move in.