#or at least bothersome on some level for a while

[jacqcrisis]

This a ramble about some thoughts I'm having while playing bg3. Please ignore if you want cause I'm only just now about to start act 2 on my first playthrough.

I wonder if due to the general rarity and more animalistic appearance of a dragonborn, if Ronan is a hard sell on the 'attraction' front for a lot of people. I can't imagine most people's first reaction to meeting a new lizard man is 'the pants are coming off', unless they are a very particular kind of person or have been around people of that race enough for the general wariness for the visual peculiarities to have worn off. Especially not in a crisis situation where if you really wanted to bone down, there's other more human options with skin and normal teeth and...lips.

Obviously, all the companions are video game bisexual and also seemingly devoid of personal aesthetic preferences in order to help facilitate you the player's personal role-playing fantasy adventure. Everyone is available no matter what race you pick in a game mechanic sense but thinking logically in a worldbuilding/narrative sense...

I understand Lae'zel wondering outloud to Ronan if she could 'ride him like the red dragons'; that makes sense for her and her...interests. She seems like a certified freak (affectionate). And I would get it if Gale had a dialogue option that implied or directly stated he'd wondered what it'd be like to be with a dragonborn because he seems like he's spent a lot of time reading weird porn inbetween simping for an actual goddess who probably can and did true polymorph herself into some fucked up shit for him. Their sex life had to be crazy if he's willing to turn himself into a thermonuclear device to try and get it back is all I'm saying ANYWAYS

But since I'm romancing him this playthrough, I have to imagine for someone like Astarion, that it had to take some personal pep talk before putting on the fawning voice and asking Ronan to sleep with him. And even more psyching himself up because in my game, it took two additional long rests after that conversation to actually get to the awkward sex scene. He had to really think about that one, literally had to sleep on it TWICE to make sure he's got his head in the right place to find out what dragonborn dick is about.

Not that hes disgusted, just... put off by the prospect on how he's going to sell this whole charming, super into the dragonborn shtick when he's just not all that much. I just cannot imagine, even outside of the manipulation game he's playing with the PC, Astarion sitting there, being like 'you know who I'd like to get rowdy with now that my body is my own again? Out of everyone at this camp? Thats right. The Lizard.'

I'm only just now about to start act 2, so I could be super off base, but that's the headcanon I'm running with right now. Vampire didn't find much physically of the big dragonborn tantalizing before deciding sleeping with him was the best course of action. The idea that this would obviously change over the course of time is compelling to me.

[pricetagged]

Idk how to label this. Wifehunter John?

The idea of possessive/obsessive John manipulating a situation and stealing a wife for himself struck me, so just coughing the idea up while I sneak away for a coffee before I actually have to start work in 20 mins 💖 entirely unedited, abrupt ending

Masterlist l Part Two

________

For someone married to his job, he has put quite a bit of thought into what he is looking for in a wife. Namely, that she's already married.

His reasoning is threefold. He can admit to himself, firstly, that it satisfies his need for control. Competency. He's a busy man with a demanding job. Not quite retired yet, no time to build his own from scratch. With this, he gets a wife boxed up and ready-trained. Broken in.

Secondly, the need for control bleeds into his saviour complex. She'll need a shoulder to cry on, someone strong and capable to get her back on her feet. She'll be feeling a little fragile. Needy. Perfect.

And thirdly, it does something wild to his jealous, possessive streak. The idea of taking something precious, of breaking her bond to another man and tying it to him? Delicious. The idea that she used to be someone else's, that he has to imprint himself onto her knowing that in doing so he is erasing the imprint of another man? It has his teeth aching, grinding even as heat rises in his belly. Stirs at him.

The idea swirls lazily in the back of his mind, never quite finding the right time or right partner. He bats at it a few times, lazy cat playing with the notion, seeing how far it can stretch before it snaps. Eyes up pretty things everywhere he goes, glancing down at their left hands just to check, but nothing quite tugs on that string. Until one day it does when he's outfitting the security system at your house.

It's side work. Cash in hand, word of mouth. Something to keep him busy when on mandated leave. Something to keep in mind as his retirement from active duty creeps closer. And your husband is a real piece of work, all blustering braggadocio energy. Young buck, not knowing his place in the herd. Not knowing that he'd be better scratching his antlers off on a tree than going head-to-head with a gristled thing like John.

It's like John's energy, his presence in the house, sends alarm bells ringing in your husband's mind (Be the man. Don't back down. Puff up your chest and strut). And it plays so perfectly into John's hands because your young buck doesn't realise that what he's really doing is fawning. To John. (Look at me, be impressed by me!) He makes his biggest mistake in putting you down in front of him, trying to sidle up to John and create some kind of desperate camaraderie. Ordering you to bring tea to the men at work. Rolling his eyes at your attempts to talk, to ask questions about the work being done. Waving you off so he can stand and watch the proceedings. Like he could supervise. Like he has any clue what he's doing.

Only the promise of the long game keeps John from levelling him with a hard look, from calling him outblike he'd love to.

He hears you both in the in the other room, having swatted the young buck off like a particularly virulent pest. Noisy and bothersome. Not needed - or wanted- in this home. And entirely too stupid to realise that John wasn't being jocular in his dismissal.

You've been scribbling away for the past few days, something occupying your time, keeping you happy and hidden away in the kitchen.

"You're not serious, are you?"

"Well, yes," he hears the slight quaver in your voice before you find your footing. You've got at least a bit of spine. Good. "You said that I should find an occupation. Not just 'laze around the house playing housewife'. This is what I-"

"Oh come on, I didn't mean- You don't think that this is viable, do you?"

"Well... I love gardening. And I'm good at it. And there's no reason that it can't be more accessible for people, especially with the current economic-"

He cuts you off with a scoff. "Dear, just- I don't want you to be disappointed. I think you don't quite understand the time and effort this will take. And you know nothing of marketing, publishing. Why don't you put that away and start on dinner?"

And oh, isn't that delicious. He can taste it now, that idea that has been swirling. It's thick, almost tangible on his tongue. The tension in the house, the bitter lacryma of stifled tears. The slight acidity of words you left unsaid. It has his mouth watering, pupils dilating.

And when he's packing up that evening, tools and materials tucked in to the heavy workman's case, he swings by the kitchen on his way out. Catches the way something is jutting out slightly from the bin, lid slightly askew. When he pulls it out he realises it's some kind of notebook, carefully (lovingly) bound. Pictures pasted, mindmaps and notes and plans scribbled in the margins. Your gardening tips. Kitchen scraps, window boxes, rooftop plots. Urban gardening. It's deeply thoughtful, well researched.

A labour of love, lying in the rubbish.

Sweet, clever little thing. That just won't do.

He leaves your house with a little piece of you tucked away in his toolkit and a nice plan forming. He'll be back, of course, not quite finished with his work. He'd planted a few little links into the system he'd almost installed, projecting not just to the monitor in your home but also in his. Got to keep his eyes on you, keep you safe and cared for in ways that your useless husband can't.

Finding that book was a boon. He'd say it was divinely ordained if he believed in all that. It weighs heavy in his toolbox as he whistles out the door.

Now, how to get you alone and return it to you..

________________

This idea may have been done before? I'm not sure, sorry! I've seen a lot of possessive John floating around. Tagging @stellewriites because I said I would last time, and you've been so encouraging of my nonsense.

Anyway I've got like 4 long-form WIPs that I'm working on, so I may never actually write this one but thought I'd share since that image set I just reblogged made me feral 💖

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

SO I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS IM SORRY IF IRS REALLY RANDOM BUT IF ITS OK COULD I REQUEST TICCI TOBY,MASKY,HOODIE,EJ WITH A TEEN!READER like Darwin from the amazing world of gumball

Darwin is such a silly guy omg <33

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

Honestly he's just glad you aren't as scary as some of the other children in the manor

Most, if not all of the children that live in the manor are there because there was quite literally no other choice for them

They come from such bad homes with such bad caretakers, it's not shocking that most of them have learned to protect themselves by any means necessary

So while Toby understands, holy shit do they scare him <//3

So seeing a kid that is allowed to still just be a kid makes him happy

He finds you quite fun to be around

He loves hearing you get excited with the things you're passionate about

And he loves how silly you can be!

You are one of the easiest kids to talk to, so he uses you for intel on the other children for things such as gifts for the holidays

He's also thankful that you are so truthful and don't like breaking the rules

It really helps lower the stress levels in the house

Masky

You're a good kid

That's about the extent of his opinion on you

He likes that you're a goody two-shoes, because it makes his job as the "secondary dad" of the manor waaay easier

First dad being slender

"Alright, which one of you spilled water on the carpet" tim asks, eying the two children sitting in front of him

"Im sorry! It was me, i didn't mean it, i swear it was i mistake!" You blurt out fearfully, hoping to not get in trouble

"Woah, relax kid, it's just water. We can clean it up easily"

He's also glad that you're one less kid he'll have to worry about sneaking out, running away, or getting in general trouble

Other than that, you guys don't really have a relationship

You might talk from time to time, and he'll be there for fatherly support and comfort

But that's about it

Hoodie

He's not exactly the greatest with kids

He doesn't dislike them, but he isn't really a kid guy

He can handle teens though, and with you being such an easy kid to handle, you manage to make his good list

If he sees you around, he'll wave, he'll get you things that remind him of you, and he's generally just more tolerant of you

Like if any of the other kids asked him to make them breakfast, he'd probably be like "oooh i actually juuuust started cleaning up sorry"

But if you or sally asked him to he'd be like "omg of course, you little angels 🥰"

Like tim, you won't really have a relationship outside of him just being more tolerant of you

He's considered the cooler uncle, and sometimes a big brother amongst the kids so he won't be able to provide the fatherly comfort that Tim does

But he CAN provide some brotherly shoulder pats or cool uncle McDonald's

And maybe, just maaaaaybe a hug every now and then

Eyeless Jack

Ej finds children quite bothersome

They get in the way of his work, they are noisy and they are messy

Three things he will not tolerate

But he was very pleasantly surprised with you

He doesn't mind teenagers as much, as they are much less noisy and messy than younger children, but he does have his issues with teenagers as well

But while you are sitting on his medical bed, waiting for a bandaid for your cut arm, you are actually very pleasent to be around

You came in in a bit of a panic, fearing your arm might be permanently damaged, but you were able to calm down as Ej took the time to explain that you were ok, as well as walking you through everything he was doing

You were very nice and quiet, and quite polite actually

You are a good kid in Ej's books

When he sees you around the manor, he makes a point to show at least some sort of sign of polite recognition to you, instead of just walking past with a blank expression

Whether it be a small smile, a nod, or a wave, just something to let you know that he thinks you are ok

Espcially with how anxious you seem to get, he knows that it will likely help you to know he doesn't hate you

[cipher-legal-and-ethics-dept]

I've always gotten the feeling that Greevil prefers Eldes over Ardos.

You see, one thing I find interesting is that, on Citadark Isle, you encounter Ardos way before you find Greevil - who appears to have chosen to keep Eldes (and only Eldes) by his side. Now, this could also be chalked up to Ardos' rashness, as seen in scene with Zook where he's the one taking initiative and talking about chasing him. However, if Greevil felt like he needed or wanted Ardos there anyway he would just order him to stay, so at the very least we can say that he's fine with not having his older son with him. You could also read the Zook incident as Ardos being eager to please his father, which would fit into the picture.

Additionally, the way Greevil says

"You managed to defeat Ardos. Of course, you have also beaten so many of my followers. Perhaps it's no surprise you won."

and shortly after also says that

"I do have an appreciation for the strong, you see."

makes me think there's an underlying pattern. If you look at Greevil's dialogue, you learn that he values strength and loyalty in his followers and one of his main "issues" with them - and what even appears to be one of the main reasons behind the creation of XD001 and other Shadow Pokémon - is that he deems them unreliable. He says that

"The others can't be counted on at all." (to Eldes)

and in regards to his plans explains to Michael that

"Next, I plan to create an army of Shadow Pokémon that work independently on my orders alone. When this second step is done, I will take over the world without having to rely on bothersome people."

So how does this play into Greevil's relationship with his sons? Both Ardos and Eldes are loyal to their father, with Ardos going as far as insisting on addressing him as Grand Master at all times and being straight up fanatical in his belief in Cipher's cause. However, looking at them as trainers, as well as how Greevil appears to judge their abilities, I think it's fairly clear that Eldes is (perceived as) stronger. Therefore he is, according to Greevil's values, the better subordinate and by extension the better son.

Lastly, I find it rather telling that Greevil chooses to listen to Eldes in the end when he's defeated. Yes, this is primarily supposed to be his humanity winning out, with Ardos and Eldes acting as shoulder devil and shoulder angel respectively to create a moral conflict that allows Greevil to choose good and thus go on a path of healing and redemption.

However, there's also the human level. In this scene, Greevil appears distressed and confused and displays a state of mental instability that we can all guess led him to where he is now. He briefly argues against Ardos' suggestion to flee and kill everyone, but folds quickly and easily; his authority and control over his sons is completely shattered. Then Eldes arrives and - finally - speaks up. Again, Greevil puts up little to no resistance and it's Ardos who argues with Eldes.

Greevil ultimately listens to Eldes. Being addressed as father by him gets through to him. When Greevil looks up again, he's looking at Eldes; and it's at this point that Ardos realizes he's lost and leaves without another word. Could a similar emotional appeal from Ardos have worked as well? Maybe, but there is no space for such a thing while arguing in favor of cruelty. I do think that there's an element of Greevil trusting Eldes' judgement that plays into his decision. Would Greevil have chosen the dark path if he favored Ardos over Eldes instead? It's impossible to say for sure, but I would love to hear your thoughts if you have any.

Tldr: I think there's a case to be made that Greevil prefers Eldes over Ardos and that this might have played a role in his decision at the end of XD. It's definitely not explicit and I don't want to state anything as fact, but Greevil's overall values and behavior may hint at such a dynamic; it would also explain some of Ardos' behavior.

[sapphireluci]

After a lot of tweaking, I finally settled on a good NiD and JoD design for a first-level Nightmaren oc a while ago!! Her name is Vega, I wrote a bit of background for her under the read more, but to summarize, she was created to replace NiGHTS, was created without the ability to express emotions so she wouldn’t rebel, has rain-based powers, and is close with Reala.

Vega was created as a replacement first-level to help Wizeman seize control of Nightopia, after he got fed up with the constant failed attempts to recapture NiGHTS. As a fail-safe measure in case she were to rebel, Wizeman made sure she was created without any means of expressing herself freely, resulting in her seeming more like a mindless drone at times. She works closely with Reala in carrying out Wizeman’s orders, while also seeking out the destruction of NiGHTS and the bothersome visitors that follow them.

At some point, however, Vega will start to question some of what she observes around her, mainly the way NiGHTS and the visitors interact with each other. Why does the atmosphere around them feel so much….lighter, compared to being in Wizeman’s presence? Why is it that Reala seems to tremble when in said presence? It’s something she won’t be able to explain for a long while.

In the way of abilities, Vega has the same capabilities as a first-level maren: flight, paralooping, drilldashing, and shapeshifting, (although she seems to do the latter the least). Her main ability, however, focuses on weather manipulation, specifically that of rain/thunderstorm clouds. She is able to conjure large storms from the energy within the two crystals on her chest, either to make a visitor’s dream difficult to navigate through, or as a means of throwing a foe such as NiGHTS off track in a fight. Vega is also capable of morphing her rain into water spheres large enough to hold someone captive within them.

Although she can’t explain it, she feels a great sense of closeness with Reala, who had been ordered by Wizeman to help guide her in terrorizing Nightopia. She’s usually one to witness the meetings between him and Wizeman, and how he leaves them with a new scar and an expression she cannot comprehend. Although she cannot feel it herself, she senses Reala’s strong aura, and makes her best attempts to comfort him when needed.

As for her relationship with Puffy, she is unsure of what to make of her overbearing hugs and kisses, but is aware she can discuss any conflicting matter with her. Jackle, on the other hand, is someone she tends to avoid a little, mainly due to his loud and chaotic energy, but respects him regardless.

Also she can play the air trumpet 👹

[answersfromzestual]

Information on Testosterone Hormone Therapy:

As you prepare to begin treatment, now is a great time to think through what your goals are, as the approach to hormone therapy is definitely not one-size-fits-all.

Do you want to get started right away on a path to the maximum safe effects? Or, do you want to begin at a lower dose and allow things to progress more slowly? Perhaps your long term goal is to seek less-than-maximal effects and you would like to remain on a low dose for the long term. Thinking about your goals will help you communicate more effectively with your medical provider (an endocrinologist is the best way) as you work together to map out your care plan.

Many people are eager for hormonal changes to take place rapidly- understandably so. But it's very important to remember that the extent of, and rate at which your changes take place, depend on many factors. These factors include your genetics, the age at which you start taking hormones, and your overall state of health.

Consider the effects of hormone therapy as a second puberty, and puberty normally takes years for the full effects to be seen. Taking higher doses of hormones will not necessarily bring about faster changes, but it could endanger your health. And because everyone is different, your medicines or dosages may vary widely from those of your friends, or what you may have read in books or in online forums. Use caution when reading about hormone regimens that promise specific, rapid, or drastic effects. While it is possible to make adjustments in medications and dosing to achieve certain specific goals, in large part the way your body changes in response to hormones is more dependent on genetics and the age at which you start, rather than the specific dose, route, frequency, or types of medications you are taking.

While I will speak about the approach to hormone therapy in transgender men, my comments are also applicable to non-binary people who were assigned female at birth and are seeking masculinizing hormone therapy.

There are four areas where you can expect changes to occur as your hormone therapy progresses: Physical, emotional, sexual, and reproductive.

Physical

The first physical changes you will probably notice are that your skin will become a bit thicker and more oily. Your pores will become larger and there will be more oil production. You’ll also notice that the odors of your sweat and urine will change and that you may sweat more overall. You may develop acne, which in some cases can be bothersome or severe, but usually can be managed with good skin care practices and common acne treatments. Some people may require prescription medications to manage acne, please discuss this with your provider. Generally, acne severity peaks during the first year of treatment, and then gradually improves. Acne may be minimized by using an appropriate dosing of testosterone that avoids excessively high levels.

Your chest will not change much in response to testosterone therapy. That said, surgeons often recommend waiting at least 6-12 months after the start of testosterone therapy before having masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, in order to first allow the contours of the muscles and soft tissues of your chest wall to settle in to their new pattern.

Your body will begin to redistribute your weight. Fat will diminish somewhat around your hips and thighs. Your arms and legs will develop more muscle definition, with more prominent veins and a slightly rougher appearance, as the fat just beneath the skin becomes a bit thinner. You may also gain fat around your abdomen.

Your eyes and face will begin to develop a more angular, male appearance as facial fat decreases and shifts. Please note that it’s not likely your bone structure will change, though some people in their late teens or early twenties may see some subtle bone changes. It may take 2 or more years to see the final result of the facial changes.

Your muscle mass will increase, as will your strength, although this will depend on a variety of factors including diet and exercise. Overall, you may gain or lose weight once you begin hormone therapy, depending on your diet, lifestyle, genetics and muscle mass.

Testosterone will cause a thickening of the vocal chords, which will result in a more male-sounding voice. Not all trans men will experience a full deepening of the pitch of their voice with testosterone, however. Some may find that practicing various vocal techniques or working with a speech therapist may help them develop a voice that feels more comfortable and fitting. Voice changes may begin within just a few weeks of beginning testosterone, first with a scratchy sensation in the throat or feeling like you are hoarse. Next your voice may break a bit as it finds its new tone and quality.

The hair on your body, including your chest, back and arms will increase in thickness, become darker and will grow at a faster rate. You may expect to develop a pattern of body hair similar to other men in your family—just remember, though, that everyone is different and it can take 5 or more years to see the final results.

Regarding the hair on your head: most trans men notice some degree of frontal scalp hair thinning, especially in the area of your temples. Depending on your age and family history, you may develop thinning hair, male pattern baldness or even complete hair loss. Approaches to managing hair loss in trans men is the same as with cisgender men; treatments can include the partial testosterone blocker finasteride, minoxidil, which is also known as Rogaine, applied to the scalp, and hair transplantation. As with cis men, unfortunately there is no way to completely prevent male pattern baldness in those predisposed to develop this condition. Ask your provider for more information on strategies for managing hair loss.

Regarding facial hair, beards vary from person to person. Some people develop a thick beard quite rapidly, others take several years, while some never develop a full, thick beard. Just as with cisgender men, trans men may have varying degrees of facial hair thickness and develop it at varying ages. Those who start testosterone later in life may experience less overall facial hair development than those who start at younger ages.

Lastly, you may notice changes in your perception of the senses. For example, when you touch things, they may “feel different” and you may perceive pain and temperature differently. Your tastes in foods or scents may change.

Emotional state changes

The second area of impact of hormone therapy is on your emotional state.

Puberty is a roller coaster of emotions and the second puberty that you will experience during your transition is no exception. You may find that you have access to a narrower range of emotions or feelings, or have different interests, tastes or pastimes, or behave differently in relationships with other people. For most people, things usually settle down after a period time. Some people experience little or no change in their emotional state. I encourage you to take the time to learn new things about yourself, and sit with new or unfamiliar feelings and emotions while you explore and familiarize yourself with them. While psychotherapy is not for everyone, many people find that working with a therapist while in transition can help you to explore these new thoughts and feelings, get to know your new body and self, and help you with things like coming out to family, friends, or coworkers, and developing a greater level of self-love and acceptance.

Sexual changes

The third area of impact of hormone therapy is on your sexuality

Soon after beginning hormone treatment, you will likely notice a change in your libido. Quite rapidly, your genitals, especially your clitoris, will begin to grow and become even larger when you are aroused. You may find that different sex acts or different parts of your body bring you erotic pleasure. Your orgasms will feel different, with perhaps more peak intensity and a greater focus on your genitals rather than a whole body experience. Some people find that their sexual interests, attractions, or orientation may change when taking testosterone; it is best to explore these new feelings rather than keep them bottled up.

Don’t be afraid to explore and experiment with your new sexuality through masturbation and with sex toys. If you have a sex partner or partners, involve them in your explorations..

Reproductive system changes

The fourth area of impact of hormone therapy is on the reproductive system.

You may notice at first that your periods become lighter, arrive later, or are shorter in duration, though some may notice heavier or longer lasting periods for a few cycles before they stop altogether.

Testosterone may reduce your ability to become pregnant but it does not completely eliminate the risk of pregnancy. Transgender men can become pregnant while on testosterone, so if you remain sexually active with someone who is capable of producing sperm, you should always use a method of birth control to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Transgender men may use any form of contraception, including the numerous options available that do not contain estrogen, and some that contain no hormones at all. There are many contraception options that are long acting and do not require taking a daily pill. Transgender men may also use emergency contraception, also known as the “morning after pill”. Ask your medical provider for more information on the contraceptive and family planning options available to you.

If you suspect you may have become pregnant or have a positive pregnancy test while taking testosterone, speak with you provider as soon as possible, as testosterone can endanger the fetus.

If you do want to have a pregnancy, you’ll have to stop testosterone treatment and wait until your provider tells you that it’s okay to begin trying to conceive.

It’s also important to know that, depending on how long you’ve been on testosterone therapy, it may become difficult for your ovaries to release eggs, and you may need to consult with a fertility specialist and use special medications or techniques, such as in vitro fertilization, to become pregnant. These treatments are not always covered by insurance, and can be expensive. Uncommonly, testosterone therapy may cause you to completely lose the ability to create fertile eggs or become pregnant.

Risks

While cisgender men do have higher rates of cholesterol related disorders and heart disease than cisgender women, the available research on transgender men taking testosterone has generally not found these differences. Most of the research on risk of heart disease and strokes in transgender men suggests that risk does not increase once testosterone is begun. However, longer term, definitive studies are lacking. It has been suggested that the risk of other conditions such as diabetes or being overweight is increased by masculinizing testosterone therapy, however actual research supporting these claims are limited.

One known risk is that testosterone can make your blood become too thick, otherwise known as a high hematocrit count, which can cause a stroke, heart attack or other conditions. This can be a particular problem if you are taking a dose that is too high for your body’s metabolism. This can be prevented by maintaining an appropriate dose and through blood tests to monitor blood and hormone levels.

While available data are limited, it does not appear that testosterone increases the risk of cancer to the uterus, ovaries, or breasts. Because not all breast tissue is removed during masculinizing chest surgery, otherwise known as top surgery, there is a theoretical risk that breast cancer could develop in the remaining tissue. However, it can be difficult to screen for breast cancer in this tissue, and there are risks of a false positive test result. Your provider can give you more information about breast cancer screening after top surgery.

Cervical cancer is caused by an infection with the human papillomavirus, or HPV. HPV is transmitted sexually, more commonly by having sexual contact with someone who has a penis. However, people who have never had sexual contact with a penis may still contract an HPV infection. The HPV vaccine can greatly reduce your risk of cervical cancer, and you may want to discuss this with your provider. Pap smears are used to detect cervical cancer or precancer conditions, as well as an HPV infection. Your provider will make a recommendation as to how often you should have a pap smear. It is unclear if testosterone therapy plays any role in HPV infection or cervical cancer.

If your periods have stopped because of testosterone treatment, be sure to report any return of bleeding or spotting to your provider, who may request an ultrasound or other tests to be certain the bleeding isn’t a symptom of an imbalance of the lining of the uterus. Sometimes such an imbalance could lead to a precancerous condition, although this is rare in transgender men. Missing a dose or changing your dose can sometimes result in return of bleeding or spotting. Some men may experience a return of spotting or heavier bleeding after months or even years of testosterone treatment. In most cases this represents changes in the body’s metabolism over time. To be safe, always discuss any new or changes to bleeding patterns with your doctor.

Fortunately, since you do not have a prostate, you have no risk of prostate cancer and there is no need to screen for this condition.

If you have had your ovaries removed, it is important to remain on at least a low dose of hormones post-op until at minimum age 50. This will help prevent a weakening of the bones, otherwise known as osteoporosis, , which can result in serious and disabling bone fractures.

Most people using masculinizing testosterone therapy will experience at least a small amount of acne. Some may experience more advanced acne. Often this acne responds to typical over-the-counter treatments, but in some cases prescription medication may be required. Acne usually peaks within the first year of treatment and then begins to improve.

While gender affirming hormone therapy usually results in an improvement in mood, some people may experience mood swings or a worsening of anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions as a result of the shifts associated with starting a second puberty. If you have any mental health conditions it is recommended you remain in discussion with a mental health providers as you begin hormone therapy.

Other medical conditions may be impacted by gender affirming hormone therapy, though research is lacking. These include autoimmune conditions, which can sometimes improve or worsen with hormone shifts, and migraines, which often have a hormonal component. Ask your medical provider if you have further questions about the risks, health monitoring needs, and other long term considerations when taking hormone therapy.

Some of the effects of hormone therapy are reversible, if you stop taking them. The degree to which they can be reversed depends on how long you have been taking testosterone. Clitoral growth, facial hair growth, voice changes and male-pattern baldness are not reversible.

Testosterone treatment approaches

Testosterone comes in several forms. Injections are usually best given weekly to maintain even levels of testosterone in the blood. Studies have shown that using a smaller needle and injection by the subcutaneous, or under the skin, approach, is just as effective as the intramuscular approach, which involves a larger needle injecting deeper into the muscle. In addition to injections, there are gel and patches that can be applied to the skin daily. The gel is applied to skin and once dry, you can swim, shower, and have contact with others. The patch also allows swimming, showering, exercise, and contact with others. All of these forms work equally well when the dosing is adjusted to achieve the desired hormone levels, and the decision about which form to use should be based mostly on your preference.

Another option for testosterone is the use of pellets under the skin. These are inserted every few months via a minor in-office procedure. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Recently, an oral form of testosterone, taken as a pill twice daily, has been approved for use. There are potential risks of high blood pressure when taking this medication, so extra steps need to be taken to monitor your health if you choose to use this form of your testosterone. Ask your medical provider for more information about this approach.

Regardless of the type of testosterone you are taking, it’s important to know that taking more testosterone will not make your changes progress more quickly, but could cause serious side effects or complications. Excess testosterone can result in mood symptoms or irritability, bloating, pelvic cramping, or even a return of menstruation. High levels of testosterone also result in increased estrogen levels, as a percentage of all testosterone in the body is converted to estrogen. In general estrogen blocking medicines are not used as a part of masculinizing hormone therapy.

Other medications that may be used include progestagens, which are hormones similar to or identical to those made by the body to maintain a balance in the lining of the uterus. These hormones can be used in cases where periods continue after testosterone levels have been optimized. These hormones can cause mood swings, bloating, and other side effects, so it is recommended that you discuss these medications further with you provider if they are to be used.

Final thoughts

And finally, please remember that all of the changes associated with the puberty you’re about to experience can take years to develop. Starting hormone therapy in your 40s, 50s, or beyond may bring less drastic changes than one might see when beginning transition at a younger age, due to the accumulated lifetime exposure to estrogen, and declining responsiveness to hormone effects as one approaches the age of menopause. Once you have achieved male-range testosterone levels, taking higher doses won’t result in faster or more dramatic changes, however they can result in more side effects or complications.

Now that you have learned about the effects of masculinizing hormone therapy, as well as risks and specific medication options, the next step will be to speak with your provider about what approach is best for you.

Source

[mooechi]

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄! 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐒; 𝐑𝐈𝐑𝐈

TAISHO ERA SECRETS*

DID YOU KNOW? no? well now you do! ...

riri has a tendency to fall asleep at the most inconvenient moments. during her free time, she prioritizes rest and avoids engaging in draining activities. she has the ability to doze off anywhere, disregarding any discomfort she may experience.

unless absolutely necessary, riri tends to, and will oversleep.

when it comes to cooking or handling anything fire-related, she is completely inept and often ends up burning things or people in the process. household chores and self-care are not her strong suits either, leading geto and even mimi to take on a somewhat caretaker role for her, despite riri being older than mimi.

riri is puzzled as to why lower-ranking individuals tend to avoid her like the plague. however, unbeknownst to her, her blunt honesty often comes across as brutal, which makes matters worse. despite her attempts to soften her words, she struggles with sugarcoating and ends up being more direct than intended. this is why geto suspects that she is either bluntly vague or vaguely blunt.

when she's not dozing off in her free time, riri can usually be found enjoying the beauty of nature, particularly beneath a sakura tree or in any other picturesque natural setting that captivates her.

not to say that she isn't fond of animals, but ironically, riri has an intense fear of cats for some unknown reason.

while she may not be the best mentor, she's not the worst either. however, don't expect her advice to be genuinely helpful. in fact, it might just confuse you even more.

her favorite food is simply any type of miso soup.

riri doesn't care enough to bother whether others address her with honorifics or not.

while mimi eagerly awaited the arrival of her uniform and katana, riri took it upon herself to visit the kakushi responsible for tailoring the uniform. but her being who she was, riri approached the situation without resorting to threats or intimidation. instead, she maintained her characteristic nonchalant demeanor and sincerely expressed her concerns regarding the uniform being made for mimi. riri believed that the initial design she had received, which happened to be the same as mitsuri's uniform, was not what she had in mind for mimi. she feared that mimi would end up with a similar uniform, which wasn't ideal at all.

unfortunately, due to her stoic expression, the tailor misinterpreted riri's intentions and formed a different perception of her. nevertheless, this misunderstanding proved to be beneficial, at least for riri. it prompted the tailor to create a proper uniform that aligned with mimi's expectations, ensuring that she would receive a uniform tailored specifically for her needs.

riri possesses extensive knowledge of anatomy, which is a result of her specialized technique. in an alternate reality, she might have pursued a career as a wandering artist.

while riri has the ability to engage in witty banter, she often perceives it as bothersome and a mere waste of time that could have been better spent on resting.

similarly, since her missions primarily take place in cold climates, it is no surprise that her residence is located in snowy regions. consequently, her training during the hashira training arc was exceptionally challenging, as it took place in the harsh winter conditions, adding an extra level of difficulty and hardship to her training regime.

riri's assigned kasugai crow is a male named urami, meaning "grudge." riri decided to give it that name after months of incessant pestering on its part. initially, she refused to name it simply because she didn't even bother trying to think of anything suitable. however, the relentless nagging eventually irritated her to the point where she chose the name as a form of sarcastic retaliation.

when it comes to appearance, urami, like any other crow, doesn't stand out and has a rather ordinary look. however, its personality can be described as either comical or downright irritating. urami often displays a degrading attitude and easily loses its temper. ironically, urami's behavior actually aids riri, who tends to be deliberate and take her time with tasks. urami's impatience and persistent reminders serve as a not-so-polite urging that pushes her to act promptly and complete things more efficiently.

interestingly, urami is a very selective eater and surprisingly enjoys being fashionable for reasons unknown. but despite its occasional protests, urami has firmly decided to serve no other owner except riri, showing unwavering loyalty towards her.

riri wields a standard nichirin katana much like most. her handguard features a simple circular design with an inwardly-facing snowflake motif. the color of her blade is a pearly blue, reminiscent of a diamond, though it does not boast any extravagant embellishments.

riri possesses a remarkable ability to perceive auras, which shares similarities with akaza's, but also has distinct characteristics of its own. her aura perception skill functions in a unique manner; the stronger an individual's aura, the more it works against them, making their aura more prominent and easily detectable. this puts them at a disadvantage as their intentions and actions become more apparent. conversely, when facing weaker opponents, riri becomes more susceptible to their surprise attacks. their feeble auras prove difficult to sense as potential threats, making her more prone to being caught off guard. furthermore, encountering an overwhelming aura can have an exhausting effect on riri. her heightened sensitivity to the tension and energy of the aura adds an extra burden to her already fatigued state, further draining her energy.

riri possesses the lowest stamina among all the hashiras, which can be attributed to both her physical condition and the immense effort required to execute her techniques. despite making them appear effortless, the reality is that performing these techniques is incredibly challenging.

despite her lower stamina, riri possesses an exceptional tolerance for cold temperatures. she lives up to her title in this regard, but it's important to note that she isn't completely immune to the cold. while she can withstand and bear colder conditions better than most, it doesn't mean she is entirely unaffected by it.

because of her limited stamina, riri is typically assigned missions that demand an extended duration compared to the usual ones. this allows her to work effectively within her energy constraints and ensures that she can complete the tasks regardless of her lower endurance.

while it is not a common occurrence, riri can sometimes display subconscious rudeness towards individuals she disapproves of. on the contrary, she secretly enjoys receiving headpats, although she may not openly admit it, just because nobody has ever directly asked her about it.

it can be said that her preferred love language is likely quality time, even in moments of silence.

indeed, geto is specifically assigned as her kakushi. however, due to riri's infrequent presence at home, as her missions primarily involve investigations that often last for at least a week, she allows him to roam and assist others in their endeavors.

the nickname "riri" is none other than mitsuri's idea.

speaking of which, why exactly is her name chosen as it is? ...

the name "akari" is associated with the concept of illumination or radiance, while "fuyutsuki" combines the words for "winter" and "moon" in Japanese. so when combined, the name "akari fuyutsuki" evokes the image of a shining or radiant moon during the winter season, symbolizing beauty and tranquility in connection with the cold weather. though, i personally go with the analogy that it represents hope amidst the dreaded void of hollowness.

[rippleberries]

Review of "Richard III" directed by Jeffrey Combs, 2005

Moran, R. (2005, July 7). 'Richard III' stands the test of time change. Ventura County Star.

[BEGIN TRANSCRIPT]

'Richard III' stands the test of time change

Kingsmen Shakespeare drama transported to Victorian England By Rita Moran Arts writer

Director Jeffrey Combs has transplanted Shakespeare's "Richard III" to late 19th- century London, placing the malevolent manipulator in an era when he could have made headlines as Richard the Ripper or become the focus of one of Sherlock Holmes' famous cases.

Richard, determined to slash aside much more legitimate rivals for the throne while keeping an aesthetic distance from the action, might have felt very much at home in the shadowy recesses of Victorian England. It's an amusing approach that functions reasonably well, despite a few roadblocks. Moving the kingdom forward three centuries brings Richard and his assorted rivals, relatives and subordinates into a time when crime was rampant, but it seems unlikely that so many royal figures, or wannabes, could be carted off for beheadings with little murmur from the citizenry. Shakespeare's Richard reigned in a bloody period that battled. over royal secession, while Victoria's England was relatively placid. On the streets of London, though, troubles simmered and plots thrived.

New look Bringing Richard to the 19th century also involves costume updates. The women still look fetching in attire of the period, and men look as pompous, or evil, in tails and top hats as they might have in tights and doublets. But commanders and troops in neat double-breasted uniforms suggest the constabulary almost as much as topple each obstacle to the imperial forces. Still, the essence of the play perseveres through any distracting time elements. What the play needs is a convincing. Richard, and Lane Davies presents him in all his diabolic obsessions. Richard, always portrayed as somewhat deformed with a soul to match, is a villain who constantly explains himself, from his first famous words, "Now is the winter of our discontent," to his death. He can twist any circumstance to his cause and any person to his will through a combination of devious reasoning and subtle but convincing threats. Davies, a longtime Kingsmen Shakespeare Company stalwart, has played his share of villains in a busy career on stage and TV, but Richard plumbs the depths of villainy. The actor meets the challenge not only in exuding ill-will, but also in the glee he takes as his machinations topple each obstacle to the throne. The stage on California Lutheran University's grounds is set up with a front-and-center Allan Hunt, who is directing boxed light that casts a ghastly glow from floor level at Richard for each of his intimate plot concoctions or rationalizations. Director Combs and Davies have wisely chosen to minimize Richard's physical distortion while maximizing his psychological ones. Some historians believe the former, at least, were exaggerated in early chronicles by authors favoring the line of succession Richard disrupted.

Credible cast The rest of the large cast is filled with actors who bring credibility to their roles as royals and rebels. Mark Silver is the faithful Buckingham who curries Richard's favor until he's flicked off like a bothersome fly. Allan Hunt who is directing the annual festival's second show, "Merry Wives of Windsor," is Richard's brother, Clarence, as devoid of guile as Richard is full of it. Seventh- grader Joe Walker, in his first Kingsmen role, is a determined Young Prince Edward, who delivers his lines with confidence and clarity. Richard Winterstein as the failing King Edward IV is always a presence to be reckoned with. And Donal Whelan is amusing as the Second Murderer and noble as Richmond, Richard's final obstacle. Whelan's voice is one that projects well in the outdoor setting, even out- maneuvering the frogs, but the actor could enhance his performance by giving more nuance to the meaning of Richmond's high-flying words. The women, with significant roles as foils to Richard's willful ways, include Jane Longenecker as Lady Anne, his first prey; Anne Lockhart as the vengeful Queen Margaret; and Julia Duffy as the feisty Queen Elizabeth. Anyone not totally familiar with English history is likely to be lost as the various royals and courtiers weave in and out of the action. But by hanging onto the confidences uttered by Richard, plot essentials will be clear enough. Other details are delivered by the cast, sometimes in competition with the hearty frogs. Combs employs a contemporary method in presenting the ghosts that plague the beleaguered Richard, projecting their anguished faces on a screen at the back of the stage. It's a little shaky in operation, but not a bad idea. Another effect, a shadowy figure in an upper window whose actions evoke the dispatching of Richard's various victims, worked less well on opening night. Dramatic swelling of film- scope music accompanies major moments in the play, giving a melodramatic tinge to the larger-than-life tale. "Richard" continues this weekend, then alternates with "The Merry Wives of Windsor" through Aug. 7. E-mail Rita Moran at ritamoran@earthlink.net.

[PHOTO] Photo courtesy of Gloria Mesa The Kingsmen Shakespeare Company production of "Richard III" features Anne Lockhart, left, as Queen Margaret, Lane Davies as Richard III, Jane Longenecker as Lady Anne and Julia Duffy as Queen Elizabeth.

[BREAKOUT BOX] 'Richard III' Kingsmen Shakespeare Company's production of Shakespeare's drama, reset in 19th-century England, through July 24 at California Lutheran University, 60 W. Olsen Road, Thousand Oaks. 8 p.m. Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and July 22, 23 and 24. Grounds open at 5:30 p.m. for picnicking and pre-show entertainment. $10; free for those younger than 18. Lawn box seating available for $65 and $50. 493-3455 or http://www.kingsmenshakespeare.org.

[END TRANSCRIPT]

[celestiall0tus]

So, let's finally analyze this finale...

I , like many on here, feel that it is time to talk about the finale of Miraculous s5. I personally have had time to sit on it and read some of the views of others in the fandom and let's fully dive into this.

So, let's get the big one out of the way: Adrien. I know a lot of people are upset with the way that he was handled, and I see why. I personally am indifferent, but I see the issues clear as day. Adrien should have been there. He should have been there for the final altercation, but was denied that. Instead, he got to be the classic damsel in distress, a Grimm's fairytale heroine that had no true say in their fate. Yes, Adrien couldn't fight his father since Gabriel had the rings, but Gabriel didn't know that Adrien was Chat Noir. Thus, he could have been there for that fight so long as he was never revealed.

On top of this is the bad writing when it comes to the "nightmares." I had briefly mentioned this before, but didn't fully elaborate. So, allow me to while I blissfully ignore that BS magic was involved. Nightmares in the purest sense are vivid dreams that possess a threatening, upsetting, bizarre, or bothersome quality. What Monarch did would technically count as nightmares being bothersome, but shouldn't have invoked that level of response. I get that magic was clearly involved, but wasn't fully explained, at least to what I took in. As I understand it, he brought forth their worst fears to manifest as "nightmares." This is my personal biggest gripe as nightmares aren't like that. While vivid, they aren't clear cut and to the point. They are vague and terrifying. Like, being chased around a resort full of strangers by a murder that specifically wants to do you harm and you are terrified. Or even you being a serial killer that goes on a rampage, killing children. Or, better yet, a vision of a white-faced demon with a long, trunk like nose trying to invade your sanctuary while you run away in complete terror and before you dive into darkness you hear her ask that you come see her so she can die. Those are nightmares. Not what the show portrayed as "nightmares."

That leads me into Monarch's plan. On paper, it's actually impressive. And worked, but only because of unclear magic rules in effect. As I stated above, I don't remember a mention how the emotions would have been blown out of proportion, just that the nightmares would surface and haunt the people. As such, I find it incredibly irritating that everyone reacted the way that they did. I get brainwashing with technology and that BS, but it just felt so stupid. Like, I get the rest of the world turning on Ladybug and Chat Noir, but Paris? You're telling me that in the whole of Paris, where Ladybug and Chat Noir have been working to protect the people, are that quick to turn on their heroes and Alya is the only one to call bullshit on it? What the fuck? Seriously? Fucking bullshit on all aspects.

I have no thoughts on the fight between Bug Noire and Monarch until the final bit where Bugaboo holds Monarch at gunpoint. I do wonder if Bug was paying attention to all the rings on Monarch's hand and saw the twin rings. If I'm not mistaken (which I may be) those were present during Felix and Kagami's reenactment, so she'd know there was an amok in there, right? She'd know that was Adrien's entire life right there, right? So, I get why Gabriel acted the way he did. On some level, he was keeping his son safe. To a degree, Adrien has been a reason why Gabriel does what he does (even if he is willing to sacrifice his son at certain points and use him like another tool in his arsenal). It's actually poetic that Monarch is able to take advantage of Marinette being a fucking dumbass when she de transforms. Lesson learned, not everyone is trustworthy. There are people that are legitimately out there to get you. I get that she is young, but there you go. Or, well, maybe not.

One gripe I want to get to before something that has always irked me. Gabriel got his wish. A fucking reality altering wish. As much as I'd like to forget that Ephemeral exists, it does and we're left with the fact that is what happens when a wish is made. I was genuinely hoping that it remained contained to the what if scenario, but here we are. Reality has been warped to what Gabriel wanted in the end. A soft reset if you will. I fucking hate this shit. It's not enough that you have to pay a price for the wish. No, we need to rewrite reality on top of that. Fucking bullshit on so many fucking levels that I just fucking can't. Absolute bullshit. I don't fucking care if you let him have the damn wish, just don't fucking add in that it changes all of fucking reality. Like, FUCK!

So, that which irks me. The fact that the fucking kwamis are bound to obey those that hold their jewels. Like, fucking hell. This will always piss me off. These are essentially god like beings that they themselves see as a danger and need to be contained. Like, what the fuck? It annoyed the ever living hell out of me that Plagg and Tikki just had to bend over backward because of this. I get magic and that fucking BS, but I still hate it. If we're going to do this kind of shit, it needs to be better explained. Especially with magic because just saying "Because magic" isn't good enough. With X amount of magic systems, who fucking knows at this point. If you're going to include that shit, you need to actually explain it. And not in the fifth season where you still don't fully explain shit. Maybe they did explain it and I mentally blocked it out, but for fuck's sake, explain shit better!

I want to add in a piece I forgot. The finale could have been great if it tightened the script and series of events. A clear cut explanation for the magic and how the nightmares worked. Potentially allowing Chat to join the final battle. Cutting out all the scenes with the other people just for a reunion of sorts. They ultimately didn't add anything to Bug's final battle except as a distraction. We didn't need Luka knowing kung Fu (as hilarious as it was) we didn't need to see the other heroes from the specials, and we didn't need Bunnix returning if it doesn't help directly against Monarch aside from being a distraction. You can show us one scene of all that and continue on with the day.

That is all for this piece. I will touch on the subject of redemption and abuse as I believe they should be further explored, just not in this post. If you're interested for another L0tus rant, stay tune.

Have a good night everyone.

[roachliquid]

Was Lovecraft Ableist? An Examination of "Lovecraftian Madness", Part 2: The Call of Cthulhu

(Warnings for this post include spoilers for The Call of Cthulhu, and Lovecraft-typical racism as well as period-typical ableism.)

In my last post about Lovecraft, I began an examination of the subject of "Lovecraftian madness" - specifically, how the term is used today, what people believe it to mean, and whether Lovecraft intended it in an ableist and derogatory sense. To figure this out, I decided to look at two of his best known works: At the Mountains of Madness, a story that uses the word "madness" more often than I change my underwear, and The Call of Cthulhu, a story notorious for its plot point of people getting the brain scramblies from seeing visions of an elder god.

Since this is a pretty in-depth topic, I've split it into two posts. In the last one I examined At the Mountains of Madness and its relationship to the infamous word. Based on the context and usage within the story, I determined that while it wasn't without its issues, it had nothing to do with the concept of mental illness at the time and, generally speaking, was not ableist of Lovecraft to use.

So what about the story that started it all? And I don't just mean "Lovecraftian madness" - I mean evil cults trying to summon their apocalyptic gods, the aforementioned and legendary brain scramblies, and the introduction of the Mythos' most iconic and misunderstood character, Cthulhu* himself.

Well, The Call of Cthulhu is already notorious for its disturbing levels of racism, so it wouldn't be terribly surprising to find out that it was ableist as well. What did surprise me is that, contrary to the insistence of many of Lovecraft's fans... not once did he describe the phenomenon that everyone is familiar with as "madness".

So, what did he call it? Well, the story features a diverse assortment of terms and euphemisms. A few of the choicest entries:

The (newspaper) cuttings largely alluded to outré mental illnesses and outbreaks of group folly or mania in the spring of 1925.

On March 23d, the manuscript continued, Wilcox failed to appear; and inquiries at his quarters revealed that he had been stricken with an obscure sort of fever and taken to the home of his family in Waterman Street… …Reference to this object, the doctor added, was invariably a prelude to the young man’s subsidence into lethargy. His temperature, oddly enough, was not greatly above normal; but his whole condition was otherwise such as to suggest true fever rather than mental disorder.

The subject, a widely known architect with leanings toward theosophy and occultism, went violently insane on the date of young Wilcox’s seizure, and expired several months later after incessant screamings to be saved from some escaped denizen of hell.

Mental illness, mental disorder, and violent insanity. Yikes.

But he doesn't stop there. Having pathologized the hell out of anyone affected by this phenomenon, Lovecraft goes on to take potshots at some of his least favorite people:

Voodoo orgies multiply in Hayti, and African outposts report ominous mutterings. American officers in the Philippines find certain tribes bothersome about this time, and New York policemen are mobbed by hysterical Levantines on the night of March 22–23.

From what I've been able to glean, "Levantine" is a general term referring to people from the Levant region, but this being Lovecraft, he may in fact have been referring to Jewish people - I have no way of knowing for sure.

He gives us a parting shot at the mentally ill, for good measure:

And so numerous are the recorded troubles in insane asylums, that only a miracle can have stopped the medical fraternity from noting strange parallelisms and drawing mystified conclusions.

Now, before I continue, there are a couple of things that I want to make note of. First, while Lovecraft's hatred for minority races went above and beyond the norms of his time, many of his prejudicial beliefs were standard, and that includes the way he talks about mental illness in this story.

Second, Lovecraft's relationship to the entire concept of mental illness was both deeply personal and fraught with torment. Lovecraft's own parents were institutionalized at different points, and he himself suffered from what may well have been an undiagnosed anxiety disorder, as well as possible issues with emotional dysregulation, and a sensitivity to stress that profoundly impacted his mental and physical health. This, in turn, contributed to an unhealthy preoccupation with the concept of mental illness, specifically the fear that he would succumb to the same fate as his father.

Essentially, what I'm saying is, this isn't a scathing indictment on his character in the way that his racism was. However, what this does not change is one simple, undeniable fact:

The Call of Cthulhu, and the associated notion of elder gods melting your brains with their mere presence, is rooted in ableism.

This entire story describes some kind of mental plague that disproportionately affects people like Lovecraft himself - the emotionally sensitive, the mentally ill, and so on. While we can take this as the internalized ableism and self-deprecation that it was, it was still an exhibition of bigotry toward the neurodivergent.

And despite people's best intentions, changing "mental illness" to "madness" does not magically erase that fact. And anyone who tries to tell you that Lovecraft never intended it to be about mental illness, it was just alien influence, I swear! is either lying, or in desperate need of a reread of this story.

Now, that doesn't mean that there aren't ways to make this concept less shitty. You could get away from the whole 'mental illness' thing and lean into the Psychic Exposure To Alien Minds angle - provided you're careful not to produce some tacit implication that some people are just weaker minded, as Lovecraft did. Or you could go the Mountains of Madness route and not talk about psychic aliens at all, just the consequences of stress and trauma on the human mind.

But what doesn't work, and what doesn't help anyone who suffers from mental illness, is to pretend that the ableism was never there. That's never going to be true, however fervently we can wish it was.

*Pronounced Ckhloo-loo, if you're a Mythos purist. Neat little tidbit I picked up while researching on www.hplovecraft.com.

[silyabeeodess]

I don't really have the time to do much art for fun lately, but here's a few small doodles I managed to whip up. I've had the DiGi Valentine quote in my head for this character for at least half a year now, so I wanted to put that to paper after all this time.

And I've got an official re-name as well! As of now, I'll be calling my Frieza Race character Jewel in reference to jewel/jewelry ice. The reasons for this change are that I mostly just came up with whatever sounded nice when setting up the character in Xenoverse 2 and, now that I've actually got some more in mind for background info, the name will tie-in with something extra besides the cold theme. I'll be working on those edits/tags soon enough with the name change.

As Sovereign Survival will reveal some info relating to that and I don't want to do any early spoilers for those interested in the story (and I am working on it, it's just going to all be dropped in a massive update), I'll keep any notes I put down for the character here simple and below the cut:

While not evil, this Frost Demon can still be pretty selfish at times--not really caring to maintain any kind of relationship with other time patrollers and often downright petty when slighted. Jewel has a strong sense of will both on and off the battlefield.

Jewel didn't initially join the Time Patrol by choice: After an impromptu/unauthorized rescue, it was either stick with them or die as the original timeline dictated. Since then, however, Jewel has grown content with the group despite being more of a self-assured loner and not always agreeing with Chronoa's orders.

While holding a successful record, this time patroller typically won't do any more than the bare minimum without feeling forced to.

The 'no flying without a license" rule backfired: The first thing Jewel did after getting a ride was crash it through a building.

While often seen wearing a scouter, Jewel doesn't use it to track power levels after an early incident where the device kept registering injured patrollers as if they were already dead--also having since learned to sense ki anyway. Instead, it's used simply for an easy means of communication.

Jewel is only comfortable without heavy bio-armor in private. Not wearing it/wearing less of it around certain people can be taken as a subtle show of trust. (Even if we don't have official transformations for the Frieza Race in the game besides Golden, I like to think switching up the bio-suits is still typical for non-mutants in the species since the customization is still fairly extensive.) Despite this, Jewel also often finds the heavier armor bothersome to move in.

[aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabaaaaaaa]

Despite our vast knowledge, her actions were still quite a shock; we know humans, or at least thought we did, they are rather simple in nature, naive to what forces lay beyond their small little bubble. But we were always interested in the small things, in how such tiny creatures with such tiny brains and inefficient communication were able to still collaborate and achieve things far beyond their individual capacity. So, in our interest, we found a suitably isolated human, took it over, and used it to get a personal look.

It was a quite strange experience, unfathomable at first. Everything was so uncoordinated, full of points where better communication would lead to less work. And by the Void, everyone had such different opinions! So many conflicts caused by disagreements, so many ended companionships, and sometimes we were roped into it! Some would call us quite mean insults, apparently we had assimilated a human that was considered to be a desirable mate, which would seem like a positive, but it wasn't! Such entitlement to us, such shame over our host's features, such hostility! It made us quite angry; how could they not see how self-destructive their actions were? That by initiating conflict with their own species, they were simply slowing progress by being hostile to what was essentially themselves!

We resolved to find a mate ourselves to put up a shield of monogamy to alleviate at least some of the issues. It would not fix the issues of whatever "politics" were, or accusations of being "violently autistic", whatever that meant, but it would rid of those inefficient and bothersome courtship rituals.

The process of finding a mate was quite cumbersome in of itself. Turns out, humans aren't universal compatible! They seemed to fit nicely into a binary system that interlocked with each other, but that was simply a surface level observation, with many members fitting outside that binary or going from one to another, or having a desire for what was not standard. It certainly made our task harder, but such diversity was to be expected of independent beings, a binary would simply not be sufficient. But the humans themselves did not understand that! They would punish those outside the binary, make them social outcasts, even bring death upon them! It made no sense! Violence to the self!

It seemed to be a common trend among humans, punishing those outside the status quo, to make themselves a monolith. As if trying to make themselves a Hive Mind. But they weren't a Hive Mind! They were a social species with independent members, diversity was their strength! They lacked communication and solidarity, but they were diverse enough that no single threat could wipe out all of them. And yet they refused to appeal to that strength! Instead appealing to our strength, but in the worst way possible! They still had poor communication, they still had inner conflict, but were trying to remove their diversity! Such stupidity!

But we digress, they were flawed, but we still needed a mate. The courtship rituals were needlessly complex and drawn out, involving a lot of vagueness that was hard to pick up on. Incredibly frustrating. And we had to be careful of who we chose, as many seemed content on controlling us, as if we were simply an accessory or a lesser, and not their equal! Many suitors failed to pass this test, very frustrating. It took us quite a while to find the one who we settled on, sufficiently respectful, had enough connections to be useful for research, and was compatible with the body we chose. Horray! It would seem! But it irritatingly did not resolve many of the issues, some desiring to be our mate despite having a "wedding ring" to indicate we already had one! Even to the point of belittling our mate with some choice words. While we had no human-like connection to our mate, the disrespect was apparent, and the disregard for our choices got to us.

We admit, we lost control for a bit, at this point, it was years of disrespect, belittling, and unintelligent communication; it was all built up, and they caught us on quite the rough period.

We shall spare the details, but a positive was that we got a first hand look into what the internal organs of a human looked like. Which, despite the incredibly common violence against other humans for much less, was very much frowned upon. We owe it to our mate for the cover up so that we did not end up in "prison".

But we have spent too long on the negatives, despite what we have said so far, the human experience is magical one. For one, they have such diversity of foods! We typically feed our hosts with different nutrient packs, depending on their physiology, but humans cared so much about the experience of consumption, and not just the nutrients! They spend hours at time making food to be as delicious as possible, and to sometimes make it an event to eat together. The food was quite the shock, but in a good way! The emphasis on flavour and the experience of eating made it be an activity we wished to partake in, rather than a chore to keep our hosts alive. (In fact, we made some of our hosts back in The Void into "chefs" emulating the human experience). Of course, it was a luxury we could not always afford, but the rarity made it all the more special.

And the connections between humans themselves held such richness as well. Despite our complaints earlier, the majority were quite friendly and willing to cooperate. And the diversity meant there was always something new to experience, many "humorous remarks" activated a involuntary social response of "laughing" in us, and despite it usually ending with our host on the ground, struggling to respirate, it felt good!

Along with that, we saw many instances of kindness, of altruism, which reminded us of why they made it so far, despite their setbacks. We saw those who reasonably could not have had prior communication sacrifice personal pleasure or wealth. They formed communities that were as efficient as independent beings could get, all with the goal of altruism, receiving nothing in return. It made us realize why they were so special to us, why we were doing this in the first place.

And there were none more special than our mate. We admit, we think higher of her because she is the human we know the most about and interact with regularly. We have no feelings of "romance" that humans seemed to expect between mates; the feeling more akin to an a fantastical planet that served as a main base of our hosts. Many potential suitors considered us to be "shallow" for this, but not her. She helped guide us through the norms for human communication, helped us acquire currency, treated us to magical human experiences; all just for our companionship, no matter how disconnected it was.

Which is why we felt guilty over it; we were not a human that could offer valid companionship, we were simply courting her for our own knowledge. She would be happier with another human. It was the day after we participated in sexual activities together, quite the intimate and unique activity for humans. We had quite the amazing time, human eroticism was so much stronger than what we had ever experienced before! But it left a gnawing feeling in us. As our host was left panting and shaking, our mate did not seem nearly as interested. That's when the reality of what we were doing dawned on us; we were taking her opportunity for a proper mate from her.

That's when we decided we would tell her the truth, we needn't keep her in the dark so that she can find a proper mate; we had enough experiences for this host.

We approached her, and told her that we were simply piloting this human to experience what it was like, and that she should find a proper mate.

But strangely, she did not reject us, in fact, she revealed to already have been informed of our true nature. She showed us "telescope" images of our nearest base, showed us her observations about us (most were inaccurate, but still), she doubled down on her courtship with us.

It made no sense, we were not human, she was made to be with a human, not with us.

She simply stated that she did not care, that we were kind, a "goofball", a "one trillion for one deal", "the best wife ever".

We can not feel human emotions, the words had little effect beyond logistically, but our host certainly did. We felt its heart speed up, the temperature rise, water to be flowing from our eyes; we believed our host to be dying.

Our mate assured us it was not, embracing us and assuring that it was simply a leftover emotional response from what brain activity our host still had.

In such acceptance, we offered to assimilate her, willing hosts were much easier, after all, and she could be as close as possible to us as a part of us. But she refused, she wanted her mind to fully appreciate us.

Normally, refusal would lead to forceful assimilation, but we made an exception just this once.

One day, your girlfriend approaches you, troubled. "There's something I have to tell you… There is no 'I.' This unit belongs to a hive-mind drifting among the far stars, and-" You silence the drone with a kiss. "You think I didn't know? I fell in love with YOU, the hive-mind itself."

[cureitherb]

How to Remove Dandruff Naturally with Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil

Understanding Dandruff - Causes and Natural Remedies

Dandruff is a common scalp issue that many of us face at some point, characterized by annoying flakes and an itchy scalp. While it’s not a serious health concern, dealing with dandruff can be uncomfortable and even embarrassing. By understanding what causes dandruff and exploring natural remedies, you can maintain a healthy scalp and keep your hair looking fabulous.

What Causes Dandruff?

Dandruff can stem from various factors, including:

Dry Skin: The chilly, dry air of winter can strip moisture from your scalp, leading to unsightly flakes.

Seborrheic Dermatitis: This condition is a more severe form of dandruff, causing inflammation and greasy flakes that can be quite bothersome.

Fungal Growth: The yeast-like fungus, Malassezia, can irritate your scalp and trigger dandruff in some individuals.

Product Buildup: Overusing hair products can lead to accumulation on the scalp, causing irritation and flaking.

Diet and Stress: A poor diet and high-stress levels can worsen scalp conditions, including dandruff.

How to Remove Dandruff Naturally with Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil

When it comes to tackling dandruff, Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil is your go-to solution, especially during the dry winter months. This Ayurvedic oil is crafted to hydrate and nourish your scalp, helping to alleviate dryness and reduce flakes effectively.

Benefits of Using Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil

Deep Hydration: This oil penetrates deeply into your scalp, delivering essential moisture to prevent dryness and irritation.

Natural Ingredients: Infused with neem and coconut oil, it boasts natural antibacterial and antifungal properties that soothe the scalp while effectively combating dandruff.

Promotes Healthy Scalp: Regular use of this oil enhances overall scalp health, reduces flakiness, and fosters an optimal environment for hair growth.

How to Use It?

Warm the Oil: Gently warm the oil to boost its absorption.

Massage into Your Scalp: Apply it directly to your scalp, using your fingertips to massage gently for about 5-10 minutes.

Let It Work Its Magic: Allow the oil to sit for at least 30 minutes or overnight for an intensive conditioning treatment.

Rinse It Out: Wash it out thoroughly with a mild shampoo to eliminate the oil and any flakes.

By incorporating Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil into your hair care routine, you can effectively manage dandruff while ensuring your scalp stays nourished and hydrated all winter long.

3 Reasons to Add Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil to Your Hair Care Routine

Deep Hydration: This oil is specially formulated to combat dryness, making it a winter essential. Its deep-penetrating formula nourishes your scalp and reduces flakiness, creating a thriving environment for hair growth.

Natural Ingredients: With the goodness of neem and coconut oil, this product provides natural antibacterial and antifungal benefits. It soothes your irritated scalp and helps eliminate dandruff without the need for harsh chemicals.

Boosts Scalp Health: Regular use not only helps in fighting dandruff but also strengthens your hair roots, promotes hair growth, and adds a healthy shine. You’ll notice your hair looking and feeling healthier overall.

Conclusion

Dandruff can be a frustrating issue, especially in winter. However, with the right natural remedies and effective products like Cure It Herb’s Winter Nourishment Hair Oil, you can enjoy a healthy scalp and beautiful hair. By incorporating these tips into your hair care routine, you’ll be well on your way to effective dandruff control, making this winter flake-free and fabulous!

[okaywolf]

Villain who whittles using the oldest trees available.

Written to the prompt by Making Up A Villain cohost prompt account — Villain who whittles using the oldest trees available.

Originally posted on cohost.org on March 30th, 2024

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Decimator is sitting against a nurse log, his leather roll of tools unrolled down the leg stretched out on the soft earth of decades of decomposition. He only really uses one knife 90% of the time, but the roll was a gift from his minions and they had embossed his name into it with their infernal talons. The bit of branch fork in his other hand had fallen some time ago from the massive old growth in front of him.

Decimator is taking advantage of the fork shape to carve a bird.

Some hundreds of yards away—that Decimator can still hear, because super hearing—the hard-to-find actual quiet for miles—because super hearing—is broken by what even someone without super hearing would call a stage whisper. "What is he doing?" The voice is elevated, which means it's one of the flying/floating superheroes or one of the ones that can't resist climbing tall bodies. If it's the climbing kind, Decimator has opinions that they will share at a later date about disturbing the forest.

"Just sitting there?" This is a more ground-level voice, letting Decimator know the earlier sound of pressure on the soft earth out of nowhere was truly out of the nowhere of being flown in by another hero. If there isn't a third voice, this would mostly rule out any tree climbing and Decimator won't be sharing those particular opinions in the future. "What did you think he was going to do?"

"I don't know. He bought this whole region. Maybe build a lair?"

"He's already got a lair."

"You can have more than one lair."

This is starting to annoy Decimator, who exhales long and deep while securing his knife in the personalized roll. He puts the unfinished carving in the breast pocket of his flannel, attaches the closed roll to the strap of another leather minion item this time labelled Butch Bag—a joke a high minion had to convince the other minions was indeed funny and would not mean death by long, drawn out incineration (it takes just short of forever for infernal minions to properly incinerate)—by way of carabiner, and makes his way away from bothersome heroes with nothing better to do.

"What's he doing now?"

"Uh, leaving? Wait, he stopped. He's writing something in a notepad, he's holding it up—"

Decimator can hear the palm make contact with face.

"What is it?"

"He says we're trespassing on ancestral land and that your lawyer alter ego should do better due diligence when reading into land trusts."

Alongside a very nice stream where if he's followed at least there's something to drown out the "whispers" of nosy superheroes, Decimator finishes carving the bird. Back at the lair, he gifts it to the minions who carefully—so as to not singe or set blaze—place it amongst the growing altar of carvings in the central chamber of their dovecote cave abode.

[madcatcapers]

For me, PMDD seems to be caused by a spike in estrogen during the luteal phase. Unregulated, it makes me a weepy mess and increasingly emotionally reactive for two weeks of the month. I can't take hormonal birth control (it makes me a mess all of the time). Lifestyle factors, bluntly, don't do shit; I can do all the eating right and avoiding alcohol and caffeine and exercising and sleeping right and still experience awful PMDD.

But I worked with a naturopath, and started taking OTC supplements during the luteal phase to reduce estrogen, which has significantly reduced or eliminated symptoms. (Progesterone spikes along with estrogen, but it's harder to regulate, and regulating estrogen alone seemed to do enough for me.)

There are two OTC supplements that I'm familiar with that can potentially help reduce estrogen by encouraging excretion of estrone, or by binding to estrogen: calcium d-glucarate and DIM (I use a DIM complex that includes some vitamins and calcium d-glucarate). For me, taking one or both during the luteal phase has the same effect of reducing estrogen and thereby significantly reducing the emotional symptoms of PMDD.

Caveat, because there's always at least one: there was a bit of a learning curve on how to regulate my dosage to avoid getting estrogen too low. If estrogen gets too low, it can cause mild heart palpitations or other issues. Those issues will re-regulate after a few days of your body's natural cycles. For me, mild heart palpitations while getting the dosage dialed in were less bothersome than ongoing emotional meltdown.

This is just meant to share info because women's health is so often shoved into a box of mysterious hormonal things that are poorly researched and that doctors aren't willing to touch. This isn't meant as medical diagnosis or advice other than to potentially talk to your doc about options for checking your hormone levels during the follicular and luteal phases to get a sense of what's happening and what might help beyond the typical hormonal birth control recommendation.

It’s so embarrassing when I’m going through a mental breakdown and then my period shows up.

It feels like the Scooby Doo meme where Fred pulls off the monster’s mask and underneath there’s a rich white man but instead it’s untreated PMDD.

Like ah, yes. Once a month Blood Madness takes hold and suddenly I’m hyperventilating in my closet trying to talk myself down from making a rash and irreversible decision as my brain burns itself to the ground in response to hormonal fluctuations.

By the by, if this is at all relatable to you, that’s not normal. That is potentially a thing called Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. It’s listed in the DSM-5 as a depressive disorder. And your life doesn’t have to be like this.

I’m in a nightmare position where the medications that can help with PMDD make my complex immune disorder issues worse.

But there is treatment for PMDD. It might be hard to access at first because it primarily affects people with a period, but keep fighting until someone takes you seriously and helps you.

Please. Do it for me if you can. It’ll make me feel better talking about this to know it helped other people not suffer.

[zhaoneurology]

How To Deal With Pregnancy Headaches?

Pregnancy headaches are a common complaint, especially during the first and third trimesters. They can be caused by hormonal changes, increased blood volume, dehydration, stress, or changes in sleep patterns. Although they are usually not a sign of a serious issue, they can be uncomfortable and disruptive. Here are some strategies for managing pregnancy headaches safely and effectively.

1. Stay Hydrated

Dehydration is a frequent trigger for headaches. During pregnancy, your body requires more fluids due to increased blood volume. Drink plenty of water throughout the day, aiming for at least 8-10 glasses. Avoid caffeinated beverages, as they can dehydrate you and might contribute to headaches.

2. Manage Stress

Stress is another common trigger for headaches. Pregnancy can bring about emotional changes, and increased anxiety may lead to tension headaches. Relaxation techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or prenatal yoga can help reduce stress levels. Taking short breaks and finding time for relaxation are also beneficial.

3. Maintain a Healthy Diet

Low blood sugar levels can trigger headaches. Eating balanced meals regularly helps maintain stable blood sugar. Include foods rich in fiber, lean proteins, and healthy fats in your diet. Avoid skipping meals and try eating small snacks throughout the day to keep your energy levels steady.

4. Rest and Sleep

Fatigue can exacerbate headaches during pregnancy. Hormonal fluctuations can make it difficult to sleep, but adequate rest is crucial for reducing headache frequency and intensity. Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep each night and try to maintain a consistent sleep schedule. If you wake up with a headache, a short nap during the day may help alleviate it.

5. Cold or Warm Compress

Applying a cold or warm compress to the head or neck may help relieve headache symptoms. A cold compress can reduce inflammation and numb the pain, while a warm compress can help relax tight muscles that might be contributing to tension headaches.

6. Prenatal Massage or Acupressure

Gentle massage, particularly on the neck, shoulders, and head, can relieve tension and improve circulation, which may reduce headache pain. Some women find acupressure techniques helpful for headache relief. Always ensure that any treatments you choose are safe during pregnancy.

7. Over-the-Counter Pain Relief

If headaches are persistent and bothersome, some over-the-counter pain relievers, like acetaminophen (Tylenol), may be considered safe during pregnancy. However, it's important to consult with your healthcare provider before taking any medication to ensure it's appropriate for your stage of pregnancy.

8. Consult Your Doctor

If headaches are severe, frequent, or unusual, or if they are accompanied by other symptoms such as visual disturbances or high blood pressure, it’s important to consult your doctor. These could be signs of a more serious condition, such as preeclampsia. In summary, pregnancy headaches can often be managed through lifestyle changes, hydration, and stress reduction. While most headaches are harmless, it’s important to seek professional medical advice if headaches become unmanageable or are accompanied by other concerning symptoms.