#or their cute lads holidays

[yesterdayiwrote]

I find it very funny that Alex has been blonde for 4 weeks now, and George has only just publicly made reference to it to tease him because it just makes me think it’s taken him this long to realise what’s different

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

Mine. || Simon "Ghost" Riley

For @glitterypirateduck's “GhostChallenge” writing challenge! I used the following prompts:

9. Alternate universe 100. You're Price, Gaz, or Soap's sister/brother 12. Brothers best friend trope 71. Reader or Ghost rescues the other from a bad date (but 'bad' is used very loosely) 34. Ghost in gray sweatpants. Just. Gray. Sweatpants. 90. Thigh riding 13. Car sex (also loosely) 48. "Is that the best that you can do?" 99. "You're mine."

Rating: E Words: 3.2k~ CW: smutty, thigh riding, no piv, no kissing, mean!Simon, toxic!Simon, fuck buddy!Simon, jealous!Simon, stalker(ish?)!Simon, possessive behavior. Tags: afab!reader, you/your pronouns but no Y/N, rugby AU, friends with benefits/fuck buddies, unrequited feelings (or are they?), toxic-ish relationship?, lying, manipulation?, secret relationship, brother's best friend, creating/baiting jealousy. Summary: Ghost is a cocky, mean rugby player that you can't help but be pining over. But maybe it's not completely unrequited. OR Simon ruins your date with someone else because he's jealous. a/n: I had a plan. I executed said plan. Profit?

Having grown up in a rugby family, you were given little choice but to attend all of your brother's games, both as a wee lad, a young man, and, now.

You were there, with your remaining sisters and your mam, for every single one of Johnny's games, back from when he was a wee one that couldn't even do a proper tackle and would fall in the mud, to now, picked to join the national team.

This means, however, that you've spent your entire childhood, teen years and now young adulthood, surrounded by the lads from your brother's many teams, but, especially, the ones he met as a teen and made a lasting friendship with: John "Cap" Price, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, and Simon "Ghost" Riley, the bane of your existence.

Johnny's had them over for birthdays, holidays, sleepovers... Not to mention the times you've gone to pick him up from training and were allowed into the locker room, only to get an eyeful of too much bare skin on all those men as they paraded around half-dressed; in towels; in underwear, or even in less than that.

It became a matter of time until you gained someone's attention. No wonder, pretty lass like you, with your sweet smiles and playful quips... coming to pick up your bulky winger brother, of course you'd catch someone's eye.

Kyle Garrick is the team's Hooker... but he's also known as a manwhore, the town bicycle, or whatever you wanna call him. The lads all know that if they go out drinking, Kyle is not going home alone, and, worse, they know that Kyle could and would seduce their cousins, sisters, mothers, and girlfriends, if not kept in check.

That's part of the reason why Johnny nearly had a fucking aneurysm when he caught Kyle outside the locker room three days ago, with a hand pressed against the wall beside your head, looking down at you with a smug little smirk on those perfect lips of his.

He knew what was happening, the way Kyle was looking down at you, the way you were looking up at Kyle, smiling all cutely, backed up against the wall, while his own teammate put the moves on you and talked about taking you out, his free hand gently playing with the strap of the dress you were wearing.

Johnny, however, missed the way Simon, who was standing right behind him, stiffened up and bristled at the sight of Garrick flirting with you. You didn't though. You caught it as soon as Johnny cleared his throat next to you with a "Should I pull up a chair and wait fer ye to be done?". Simon's eyes were glued to you, his brow set, his jaw clenched...

That's what he gets.

Simon, whom you've had a massive crush on for years now, who you pine for, whose attention you crave... and who only ever comes to you for a quick lay...

Simon, who rolls over after sex and tosses you a towel while he's putting on his clothes, telling you to 'hurry up' so he can take you home.

Simon, who always stares at you like he's going to eat you whole every time he lays eyes on you.

Simon, who chugs half of the ice cold water bottles he's given during breaks in practice, and uses the rest to douse himself in water to keep himself cool.

Simon, who knows how your eyes always get drawn to his legs and his bulge in his uniform, and rolls up his shorts before doing lifts, just for you.

Simon, who comes to pick you up whenever you call him, tipsy, from some bar or club when going out with friends.

Simon, who sends you 'u up?' texts at 2 in the morning when he's drunk.

Simon, who scoffs and chuckles whenever you breach the 'us' topic.

Frankly, you're not even actually trying to get with Kyle, especially not with his reputation (nothing against him, it's just not for you), but you needed to do something.

You're tired of waiting around for SImon to get his head out of his arse. You're not a toy, you're not going to stick around and be 'friends with benefits' with him, except barely friends, and with little benefits.

He's getting what he fucking deserves.

You didn't anticipate, however, how upset Johnny would be at the idea of Kyle taking you out. In fact, it was poor planning on your end because from the moment Johnny saw you with Kyle, he attempted, multiple times, to convince you not to go out with him... And if the DMs Kyle sent you are any indication, he also tried to talk Kyle out of it.

On the other hand, Simon didn't once try to intervene. Despite the look he shot you on Tuesday, he did not in fact reach out to talk to you, even now, as Friday comes along and you stride into the restaurant, hanging off Kyle's arm...

There's nothing from him. No texts, no DMs, no calls, nothing... So you guess that it's done, over. He got the memo, finally...

Your phone starts buzzing inside your bag while you and Kyle are halfway through sharing your appetizers. Looking down at your phone, you narrow your eyes when you find Simon's number ringing.

Really? Now? You don't think so.

So, you hang up.

Only for it to start ringing again immediately after. Simon. Again.

Grunting, you end up picking up. "What?"

"I'm outside. Let's get out of here."

You're hyper aware, suddenly, that the host has sat you and Kyle by the windows overlooking the car park... And you can see a car with its headlights on pointing right at you.

"I don't think so."

"Then don't think. Just do what I'm telling you."

Bossy, as always, that's how Simon is. Everything is on his terms, never on yours.

"I'm having dinner." You fight him, as always. This push and pull of yours has been going on for three years now... And Simon always wins. It makes him cocky.

"Not with him you're not. So you better get out here before I go in there and embarrass you."

With a sigh, you nod. "Fine, I'll be right there."

Turning off the call, you turn to Kyle, explaining you have to leave. His brows knit together and he looks at you with puppy eyes, asking why, and, short of a proper explanation, you do the same thing you've been doing to Johnny for the past three years: you lie.

"Johnny said he got a bizarre text from our mam and he tried calling her and she isn't replying."

"She's on these new sleeping pills, so she might have just knocked out while watching telly..."

"But he's worried, and he's on the other side of town, so he asked if I could go home and check on her..."

And Kyle, as much of a manwhore he is, he's also a gentleman, and is one of your brother's best friends. If your mam might be feeling sick, he's, of course, driving you home and helping! He was raised right.

As you leave the car park on the passenger seat of Kyle's BMW, you're hyper aware of the familiar Range Rover trailing you down the road, always a couple of cars behind, but always there... always lurking.

You reach your childhood home in record time, and start fumbling for the keys inside your clutch while Kyle trails up behind you to the front door. "I think I've got this from here, Kyle."

"No way, I love your mum like she's my auntie, if she's not doing well, I'm here to help,"

"No, really, it's okay, I'm sure she's fine..."

"Love, really, I'm not leaving you like this, not before I make sure that she's alright-"

Suddenly, a large, pale hand comes to grip Kyle's shoulder from behind, Simon's eyes shining in the darkness of the night, barely illuminated by the light by the front door, before his full face reveals itself.

Like a Ghost. That's his nickname. Fast, stealthy, there when you least expect it. Both in the rugby pitch and out of it.

"Don't worry, mate, I've got this." Simon announces, causing Kyle (and you) to freeze.

"You're here too?" Kyle asks, seemingly surprised, just as the taller fullback player removes his hand from his shoulder.

"Johnny called me too. Was worried about her being alone if mam wasn't doing well," Simon says naturally, as if he isn't also lying through his teeth, though his eyes never leave yours, catching and not planning on letting it go.

"Okay... well..." Kyle says and looks back and forth between you and Simon, seemingly catching the weird vibe between you, before he nods. "I'll go home then. Text me?" He asks you. "We can have a rain check."

Gulping thickly, your gaze slowly moves back toward Kyle, and you nod with a soft smile. "Yeah, yeah. Of course." You say softly and move over to kiss his cheek, before watching Kyle go back to his car and pull off.

You're turning, keys now in hand, to unlock the door when one of Simon's large hands grabs yours, stopping you. "What are you doing?" He asks you.

"Going home?" You retort as you look up at him, feeling the warmth of his fingers wrapped around yours, clutching lightly. "Ye can go now. Congratulations, you ruined my date. Yer work is done."

Simon chuckles and takes a step closer to you, tilting his head at an angle and regarding you with those dark, deep brown eyes of his, the same ones that always make you feel like he's trying to burn you with his gaze.

"That's cute that there, sweetheart." The Mancunian tells you before he lets go of your hand and pushes you along with a hand on the small of your back, away from your front door. "Get in the fuckin' car." He orders and uses his eyebrows to point at his jeep, his voice carrying the same strong tone that he reserves only for bossing his teammates around during practice.

You know better than to defy him. So you tuck your metaphorical tail between your legs and you nod, moving over to his Rover. He opens the door for you and helps you up by gripping a hand around your forearm, the other bumps you up by the back of the legs.

"How'd ye know where we were?" You end up asking once Simon has driven away from your street, your eyes locked on his as he drives, finally daring to take a proper look at him under the orange light of the street lamps you pass by.

Black hoodie, grey sweatpants, and some kind of running shoes. Those stupid bloody sweatpants... The same ones he usually wears when he shows up at your door, or you at his, or when he goes to get you from work or nights out...

You know he did it on purpose... To pick the most slutty outfit he has as he comes to break up your date with Kyle. The annoying grey sweats that hang off his lip, that hug his thick, muscular thighs, the ones that he never wears boxers under, to make sure you can catch the dick print in the fabric...

And his stupid blonde hair all spiked up with hair gel... It used to be brown, matching his eyes, but he bleaches it now, the idiot... You want to be mad at him, you really do... But when he glances over at you while he's driving, you can't really.

"Garrick's predictable," Simon says, his tongue spitting vitriol as he utters his teammate's name. You'd think he hates the bloke... and right now he might as well do. "Takes birds to the same 5 or 6 places every time. Your brother and I split up to cover half of them each." He explains.

Scoffing, you cross your arms over your chest. "The two of ye have no right." You tell him, scolding him over interrupting your date. "I'm a grown woman."

"Right. That's what you told Johnny. Don't try to use that shite excuse on me." Simon tells you as he turns on the blinker and pulls over.

You haven't driven long. Less than 2 minutes. You could climb out of the jeep if you wanted to and walk home.

"It's not an excuse." You retort as you glare at him, keeping your arms tightly crossed over your chest.

"Right, because you want me to believe you really want to go out with Kyle? Or, let me guess, you 'can change him'?" Simon asks sardonically and laughs as he pulls off his seatbelt.

"I didn't say that." You retort. "I simply said that I can do whatever I want because I'm a grown woman.'

"No..." The blond says in a sarcastic tone. "You... did it because you wanted my attention... And you got it, sweetheart." He replies as he reaches over and unbuckles your seatbelt for you, his hands wrapping around your hip and back, tugging you over the gearshift onto his lap.

"I weren't trying to-" You reply, pushing back against his chest, but only half-heartedly, allowing yourself to be dragged onto him.

"Sure you were. But Gaz, really? Is that the best you can do when it comes to making me jealous?" Simon quips as he makes you straddle his left thigh, bringing you down to sit on it, the gusset of your panties pressed against the warm material of his sweatpants.

His stupid, muscular, hard thigh, the same one you can't help but drool over when you watch him in his tiny rugby shorts during practice and in the proper pitch...

You can feel the taut muscle, even through the fabric, the wait his leg flexes as you straddle it, the way he presses the weight of it against your core, and his fingers dig into your hip before dragging you back and forth.

You bite your lip hard to contain a moan, though he notices the way you're trembling, enjoying the look in your eyes, the way your body warms up, the way your back arches up. It puts a sick smile on his lips, one you wanna wipe off.

"It worked, didn't it?" You reply, trying your best to suppress the pleasure from showing on your face, and instead trying to seem smug. "You're here, right? Came to break up my date for a reason..." You say, clinging onto your little 'gotcha' moment...

Only for Simon to ruin it. "Oh that weren't jealousy, darling." He replies, his smirk beginning to grow into a proud, mocking grin, his dark brows rising and his cheeks puffing up with his smile. "I have no reason to be jealous."

Simon begins rocking you faster and harder against his hard thigh, causing you to whine and mewl, the pleasure building from the friction between your cunt and his thigh.

Your clit is slowly and steadily catching on the fabric, making you tremble and twitch atop him, feeling the coil in your stomach beginning to tighten as it always does whenever Simon starts playing with your clit like this.

"No, actually... Don't have a reason to be jealous about anyone." Simon replies as he leans toward you, pressing his nose against yours so he can properly look you in the eye. "Not Garrick... not Price... not any of those coworkers you're always talking about... nor your old uni mates..." He trails off.

"Simon..." You grumble, bucking your hips against him, wanting to chase your orgasm. How does he do this to you every time? Make you so horny, make you throw away all rationality, make you give in to him?

"I know, sweetheart, I know... Feels good, don't it?" The large man coos at you as he helps you rock against his thigh faster and faster, your hips stuttering and your legs beginning to tremble on either side of him as you steadily grow closer and closer to coming.

"You know what else I know?" Simon teases as he leans over and uses his teeth to nip at your neck and earlobe. "I know that I'll never have a bloody fucking reason to get jealous over you... because You're Mine." He tells you, his tone surprisingly authoritative.

There's something in that claim... the way he finally says the things you've wanted so badly to hear him say... Your climax crashes into you and you go limp against him, your head falling onto his chest and your jaw going slack as you moan incoherently.

"That's it..." Simon coos at you and gives you a couple of pats on your thigh, sliding his hand up over your ass, covered in a new dress you bought on purpose for your date with Kyle. Your cunt is throbbing inside your panties, your walls clenching around nothing and you know you've left a bit of a wet spot on Simon's sweatpants.

"You got off on that, huh?" He teases you in a mocking tone. "Been wanting to hear that for a while now, have you?" You can hear the smirk on his lips as you try to catch your breath and calm your racing heart. He's so fucking mean...

"Piss off, Simon." You retort and pull off him, pushing against his shoulders with both hands and moving pack to the passenger's seat. "Take me home." You say in a huff.

"Of course, sweetheart." Simon replies, his voice still smug and a large shit-eating grin on his lips as he bites his tongue, turning back onto the street.

After Simon pulls over in front of your house again, you hop out, fixing your dress and stomping back toward the house, displeased with his behavior. With him using your feelings for him against him. With him.

His phone rings, echoing through the speakers in the Rover. The small screen on the dash displays Johnny's contact name as Simon is watching you frustratedly fumble for the keys inside your clutch again.

"Been to all three spots. Did you find her?" The Scot's voice comes through the bluetooth speakers as the Mancunian watches you, running his fingers over his thigh where you left a wet stain on his sweats.

"Yeah, mate. Been keeping an eye on them. Kyle didn't try anything and he just dropped her off at home." He replies, watching you for a moment longer.

"Thanks for lookin' out, mate. 'm going for a pint right now..." Soap announces.

"Cheers," Ghost says in a nonchalant date, watching you finally find the keys and open the door, heading inside and turning on the hall light. "You owe me one, had a date planned but spent my evening going after your sister."

"Yeah... yeah... I owe ye." Soap retorts. "Come out me with me, then, 'm sure ye can find a bird at the pub." He offers.

"Nah, mate, 'm knackered. Going to get a good night's sleep." He says and watches you turn to glance at him (or more so his car) through the open door before you turn away again and visibly huff, closing the door behind yourself.

Simon shakes his head, snickering under his breath and saying goodbye to Soap before hanging up the call and grabbing his phone to shoot you a quick text.

"Ur brother is @ pub. Let me in."

Then, he stashes his phone back in his pocket, not even waiting for a reply.

His eyes return to the door and wait patiently, just a couple of seconds go by before you're opening the front door again. Simon smiles seeing that, turning off his car and hopping out.

His girl is so obedient.

[ Ghost Challenge Masterlist ] || [ My Masterlist ]

[f1daydreamers]

𝐋𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐞𝐬 [𝐓𝐀𝟔𝟔] 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐔

gif credits: @trenty

Pairing: Trent Alexander Arnold x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re a tease, asking for things you supposedly already have. Trent catches on... eventually.

A/N: This is my first social media AU so bear with me if it absolutely sucks, also my first time writing for Trent so a bunch of firsts going on today. Enjoy!

Warnings: not much, just a lot of fluff and shite captions lol

...

yourusername | 📍Venice, Italy

tagged venice.explore and calvinklein

liked by yourbsf, calvinklein, and 17,786 others

yourusername can I call you later?

view all 2671 comments

user1 pretty ladyyyyyyy

calvinklein summer collection has never looked better 😍

— yourusername have never loved a black dress more

yourbsf photo creds and the second glass are all me.. right?

— yourusername ofc 😇

user2 omg i need to go to venice asap

user3 i thought you were in la this week for a photoshoot with hudabeauty??

— yourusername next week!! super excited omg 🩷

…

trentarnold66

liked by liverpoolfc, andyrobertson94, and 946,716 others

trentarnold66 Recharging 🔋

view all 76,936 comments

andyrobertson94 Right, there’s no need to flex the arms 😒

— trentarnold66 I was just bending them? 🙃

liverpoolfc Back at camp soon ❤️

— trentarnold66 💪

user6 BYE TRENT FINALLY POSTED HOLIDAY PICS SO I CAN SLEEP NOW

user7 can you choke me with those arms thanks bae

— user8 so real 🤣

judebellingham No invite lad? I see how it is 🫤

— liked by trentarnold66

…

yourusername

tagged hudabeauty, hudabeautyshop, and kayali

liked by hudabeauty, trentarnold66, and 30,651 others

yourusername Coming to you… July 👀

view all 9862 comments

yourbsf A DREAM IM SO PROUD OF YOU BABE

— yourusername i love you 🥹

user4 aaahhhhhhh this has been such a long time coming!!! remember ur youtube videos when u used to review their products?

— liked by trentarnold66

hudabeauty A literal real-life doll 😘

— yourusername says the literal makeup magician ❤️

user5 TRENT LIKED????

— user9 who’s that?

— user5 ONLY THE BEST RB IN THE WORLD WHAT

…

trentarnold66

liked by liverpoolfc, yourusername, and 976,816 others

trentarnold66 Singapore 🇸🇬 Feels real good to be back.

view all 126,625 comments

liverpoolfc What’s up, Vice Captain? 💪

— trentarnold66 🫡

user10 liverpool’s very own ❤️

yourusername damn.

— liked by trentarnold66

virgilvandijk Let’s get it!

user5 OMGGG THEYRE DEFO DATINGGG WAIT

user12 don’t know who yourusername is but she’s verified and trent liked her most recent post now she’s commented on his???? i smell a new couple 👀

…

yourusername | 📍 Liverpool

tagged liverpoolfc

liked by trentarnold66, harvelliott, and 29,872 others

yourusername bleeding red today, bleeding red everyday

view all 11,463 comments

user12 she does know trent’s mural is literally opposite hendo’s right? 🧐

— liked by yourusername

— user12 OMG SHE LIKED MY COMMENTTTT

harvelliott love it 🌹

— user5 DUDE WHO IS THIS GIRL DATING OMFHDJSJSE

trentarnold66 Hmm

— harvelliott 😂

yourbsf fit went hard.

— yourusername not everyone’s agreeing w u 😒

— yourbsf you mean….

— yourusername shh

…

…

trentarnold66

liked by judebellingham, liverpoolfc, and 817,625 others

trentarnold66 Skipper today but winning in front of you is the best part ❤️🏟️

view all 262,527 comments

user5 IS HE TALKING ABOUT YOURUSERNAME

— user13 bro you lot reach sm wtff he’s obviously talking about the fans lmao they played at home today

judebellingham serious player

— liked by trentarnold66

yourusername should I say congrats?

— trentarnold66 Only if you’ve changed shirts

— yourusername so take off yours then

— liked by trentarnold66

…

…

yourusername

liked by yourbsf, trentarnold66, and 96,726 others

yourusername my mom approves

view all 70,637 comments

user5 I CALLED IT FROM THE START YESSSSHDHDHSHSHHS YALL ARE SO CUTE

yourbsf ok trying to convince ppl that i’m the other one in ur pics is getting harder and harder to do

— yourusername 😂😂

trentarnold66 Shirt’s all yours

— yourusername took you long enough

— trentarnold66 I got there in the end 🙂

yoursister does that mean I get to keep Harvey's shirt now?

— yourusername i bet you've already taken it anyway

— yoursister if I speak I’m in big trouble

…

trentarnold66

tagged yourusername

liked by yourusername, andyrobertson94, and 1.2 million others

trentarnold66 Dear Darling ❤️

andyrobertson94 Congrats Brother 🫂

— liked by trentarnold66

yourusername should’ve posted the pic where you were preeing my old yt vids

— trentarnold66 I don’t recall that 🤨

— yourusername little liar

— trentarnold66 Little? Who’s the liar now?

— user12 YALL ARE SOOOOOOOO

user5 I WANT MY FINDERS FEE 👩‍⚖️

harvelliott Beautiful 🤩

…

Masterlist

[eddiesxangel]

Hey, Mr. Claus🎅🏻 | Santa!Eddie x Reader

Holiday Prompt Party hosted by @allthingsjoeq and @bettyfrommars 🥰

Prompt: You can tell that the mall Santa is a babe under that beard, and you decide to get closer to investigate.

CW: This is loosely based on a TikTok I saw. Flirting and fluff.

WC: 1.4k

“Santa! Santa!” Your three-year-old nephew tugged your hand as he ran towards the man in red walking towards you.

“Yeah, buddy, Santa!” You smiled as he tugged you closer and closer just before his hand slipped from yours and charged the man dressed up in a fake white beard, red and white fluffy hat and suit, headed in your direction.

“Christopher! You get back here right now!” You yell as you chase after him through the halls of the busy mall. He doesn’t listen to you. He completely ignores you as he runs into the arms of the mall Santa. You watch as Santa opens his arms wide and embraces the little boy with a big smile, not seeming bothered by the little boy who has just tackled him.

If you weren’t so worried, it would be the most darling thing you’ve witnessed this year.

“Ho ho ho, who do we have here?” You heard the very fake, deep voice addressing you and your nephew.

“I’m chwistopho!” Your nephew shrieks as he gazes up at the fake bearded man.

"Now, Christopher, you know running away from your mommy isn't nice. She looked very worried; he crouched down to his level. Giving you a little wink. His brown eyes were memorizing and took you aback as you approached the two of them. He was much younger than any Santa you've ever encountered before. His nose was flushed red as if he had put on blush to make it look cold. His eyes were rimmed with white eyeliner, making them more cartoonish and round. He also had black lines where crowss feet would be if he was older.

“That’s not my Mommy! That’s my Auntie!” He giggles like Santa is the silliest man on earth.

"Ho ho ho! I am so silly, of course, I knew that wasn't your Mommy! I know all the children of the world and their parents; I was testing you! Good lad." The cute young mall Santa chuckled.

“Come on buddy, Santa is on his break for his milk and cookies, we don’t want to bother him anymore. You don’t want to get on the naughty list.” That caught his attention really quick.

“I’ve been a good boy!” He protested while snuggling into Santa’s fluffy suit.

“I know you’ve been a good boy. I’ll be visiting your house. Don’t you worry!” Santa exclaimed as he picked up your nephew in his arms.

“See, little bear, don’t worry, Santa had your back.” You wink.

"Don't you worry either" Santa addressed you now. "I'm sure you're on my nice list as well." Was Santa flirting me you?

You couldn't help but feel your cheeks heat up as Santa passed your nephew back with open arms.

"What do we say to Santa?" You asked the little boy in your arms.

"Thank you!" He squealed as he blew a kiss to the not-so-old man.

Christopher let you know he was so excited to tell his mom and dad how he met Santa today and that you were the best auntie ever!

"You also tell him that he owes me one when we get you home. Okay, buddy?” You tell Christopher as you walk away from the mall Santa; wishing you got to speak to him more. He rambled on so much as you walked back to the exit, that you didn't get a proper chance to say goodbye to Santa.

You still couldn't get the cute young Santa out of your head the following day. You thought about him all night, replaying how adorable the interaction had been between Christopher and him. So you decided to go back to the mall today and see if you could find him.

You found the line to take pictures with Santa in the middle of the mall, it wasn’t hard to miss because the lineup for it was outrageous. You hoped they were paying him well, there were way too many kids here. You rounded the corner to the back of the line and hoped this was worth it.

After going back and forth with yourself on what you would say to him, you’d chickened out a few times before hyping yourself back up. Before you knew it you were next in line after forty-five minutes of absolute self-torcher.

As you examine the man in the big red suit, you observe how tired he is until his eyes lock on you. He immediately fixes his posture, his smile seems more genuine, and his big doe eyes brighten.

You take a deep breath and walk up with all the fake confidence in the world, knowing you look weird without a kid.

"Ho ho ho, have a seat, Sugar Plum and tell Santa what you want for Christmas!" He patted his knee with a white-gloved hand.

You tentatively go to sit on his knee and wrap an arm around his shoulder while he wraps around your waist in a tight grip.

"Hi," you meekly smile.

"Hi, Snow Angel." He smiled brightly. You can see his straight white teeth smile through the god-awful fake beard.

"Now, what is it you want for Christmas." Santa, aka Eddie, scolded himself for having to keep up the dumb act while the prettiest girl he's ever seen is willingly here in his lap.

"What I want for Christmas is to see if you're really as cute as I think you are under all of this." you gesture to his get-up. "Do you think I deserve that? I am on the nice list; after all." You playfully bat your eyes hoping you are not making a fool of yourself.

Santa Eddie chuckled. "I think that can be arranged. I'll have my Elves on that one straight away!"

“Great, call me.” You slip him a small paper with your name and phone number. But not before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before popping up from his lap, and methodically swaying your hips a little hoping he would stare at your ass and you walked away.

Eddie couldn’t believe what just happened. He picked up a girl dressed in a fake beard and a smelly tacky red getup. And not just any girl. The girl from yesterday with the bright eyes and beautiful smile. He would be lying if he’d said he hadn’t wished he got your name yesterday.

It was hard to get it together after you’d flustered him. He called for a fifteen-minute break after you had left because he needed to collect himself.

He examined your handwriting; he thought your loopy scrawl was cute. He smirked at the little hearts you drew at the corner. And couldn’t wait for his shift to be over to call you.

Eddie called around 8:00pm that night. You discovered his name was Eddie, not St.Nicholas, Kris Kringle, or Mr. Claus. His normal voice was hot, and you were nervous to see what he looked like. He asked to meet for coffee on Saturday at noon between being flirty and funny, and you couldn’t wait.

Eddie called you every day for the next 3 days until Saturday. You were nervous but excited to see Eddie’s proper form.

You had gotten to the cafe at 11:53am. You sat in the parking lot until 11:59am and gathered the courage to leave your car. You scanned the room until you saw a pair of brown eyes you couldn’t ever forget. Your breath hitched as he waved and stood up from the booth he reserved for the two of you.

He wasn’t what you expected; honestly, you hadn’t known what to expect, but he was hot. Eddie was way hotter than you anticipated. Like really really hot. His hair was a lot longer than you expected, and he wore a black leather jacket over a black band shirt you didn’t recognize, black jeans and black boots. As he came closer, you saw he had painted his nails black and accessorized with chunky silver rings. He had a five o’clock shadow and had a bit of white liner still rimming his water line he probably couldn’t wash off.

“Hey,” he smiled and pulled you into a hug. His body was bigger than yours, and he smelled so good. It was much better than the dusty old suit he wore when you met him.

“Hi, Santa,” you smile.

“Careful, Sugar Plum; I know the big guy and can get you kicked off the nice list if you keep up that teasing.” He playfully points as you take a step closer.

“Who says I wanna be on the nice list? Maybe I like being naughty.” You smirked while playing with the collar of his shirt.

“Oh ho ho, I knew I would like you,” he laughed.

“Pack it in Santa. I’m here for Eddie.” You raise onto your tip toes to kiss his cheek.

Eddie guided you to the booth, and you couldn’t believe you were on a date with the mall Santa Claus…

Read a smutty part 2 here

[queen-of-reptiles]

𝙷𝙾𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄𝚁𝚂

description: lauren and her arsenal player girlfriend go on holiday for their year anniversary and use it as a way to remind everyone why they hold the top spot as fav woso couple

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lauren james x female y/n

disclaimer: I am in no way saying Lauren is gay or bi-sexual - this is strictly a work of fiction

there are not enough blurbs and imagines about lauren so I made some

entirely inspired by @daydreamingleclerc :))

some sexual themes and comments - nothing too bad :)

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Lj10 just posted

liked by samanthakerr20, mbrighty04, and 111, 264 others

Lj10 my girlfriend is hotter than urs 🤷‍♀️👍

tagged: y/n

view all 4927 comments:

samanthakerr20: @y/n how do you look like that? 😭

^

y/n: idk i cry a lot???

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username1: LMAOOOOOO

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username2: she’s so fcking stupid 😂😭

mbrighty04: y/n damnnnnn 🔥🔥

^

y/n: heheheh 😙

leahwilliamsonn: okayyyyyy 😍

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y/n: it’s all for u captain 😇

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Lj10: the fck? 🤨🤨

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leahwilliamsonn: shhhh this doesn’t involve you lj

katie_mccabe11: lauren your insta is turning into a y/n fanpage mate …

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y/n: tbf mine is the same for her 😝

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katie_mccabe11: that’s cause ur a simp 👍

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y/n: damnnn grandma learning the kids speech 🥹

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katie_mccabe11: you’re only 21 shut up! 😡

username3: SHES SO HOT OMG 😍😍

username4: fuckkkkkkkkk 🔥🔥🔥

username5: 🍑🍑🍑

miafishel10: how many takes did the second photo take? 😭

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Lj10: too many mate

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y/n: IT HAD TO BE PERFECT BABY 😠

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lucybronze: bet lj didn’t complain too much wth you on top of her tho y/n 😶😶

^

Lj10: ;)))

stanwaygeorgia: Cuties 🥺

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y/n: 😊😌

y/n: alsoooo my girlfriend’s hotter than urs baby 💋

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Lj10: liar 🙄

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y/n: ik u r but what am i? 🤷‍♀️

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Lj10: hottest girl in the world ;)

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y/n: I have once again been outplayed lads 🥹

Arsenalwfc: looking peachy y/n! ❤️

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username6: arsenal admin knows what’s up 😭😂

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arsenalwfc: the sky

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username7: OMGGGG 😭😭

view other comments…

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y/n just posted

y/n

play at the hotel bowling alley ✔️

lauren gets hit on by the waitress whose been serving us all night ✔️

lauren reply with asking for another drink for ‘her missus’ ✔️

me not slapping a bitch ✔️

tagged Lj10

liked by leahwillamsonn, katie_mccabe11 and 132, 424 others

view all 6737 comments

username1: HAHAHAHAH

leahwilliamsonn: ShUt UP 😭

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y/n: Wasn’t like we’d been snogging all night either 😠

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reece: shoulda slapped her mate 😂

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Lj10: don’t start !!

username2: I LOVE REECE AND Y/N’S RELATIONSHIP 🥹🥹🥹

katie_mccabe11: I imagine you were fuming ??! 😡

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y/n: nahhh we went and made out in their photo booth and left one of the three print-outs on their cute print wall 💋💋

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lucybronze: iconic 😂

username3: don’t be shy - tell us her name 😶😶

keirawalsh: who won ?? 🤨🤨

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samanthakerr20: deffo y/n 😭💋

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mbrighty04: nahhh lj all the way 👍👍

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caitlinfoord: nah y/n has to be ! xx

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y/n: It was Caity! 😌😌

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Lj10: let you win baby @y/n

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y/n: take that back you little shit 😡

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Lj10: I’m older and taller love 😂

username4: why would she come onto lauren tho ??? like these two are SO in love ?! 😡

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username5: cause lauren’s famous !! 🙄🙄

see more comments…

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y/n just posted on their close friends story

replies

mbrighty04: I CANNOT WITH YOU TWO 😭

y/n: hehehehehheh 😘

reece: how do i bleach my eyes ?? 😭

y/n: i can do it with a spoon if you need? xx

reece: i hate you sm

jbeattie91: Amber would like to say she is stealing all of these poses for us 😝

y/n: YALL WOULD EAT THESE OMG 😫😫

lucybronze: you two 🙄🥺

y/n: luv u too !!

miafishel10: HAWT 🔥

y/n: like you b 😉😗

samanthakerr20: YOU LEFT THAT?

ON THE WALL?

FOR EVERYONE TO SEE?

y/n: nahhh only pictures 2-4 😜

samanthakerr20: you give me gray hairs

k says you guys r cute tho

y/n: omg say hi to her i miss her sm !! 🥺💋

katie_mccabe11: jesus god

y/n: not in this place of worship

see 43 other replies…

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y/n just posted on their close friends story

replies

samanthakerr20 liked this

alessiarusso99 liked this

katie_mccabe11 liked this

ellatoone liked this

mbrighty04 liked this

lucybronze liked this

miafishel10 liked this

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see 45 other replies…

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y/n just posted on their close friends story

replies

miafishel10: HAHAHAHAHAH THIS IS GOLD 😭😭

stanwaygeorgia: PLOT TWIST LMAO 😂

lucybronze: omg NO

y/n: istg luce imma slap this bitch - SHES ASKED LJ THREE TIMES IF SHE WANTS HELP PUTTING SUNCREAM ON

lucybronze: i kinda want you too, but Keira is saying no to the slap

y/n: UGH fineee

samanthakerr20: THIS IS CHAOS

alessiarusso99: omg omg omg

ella says mark your territory …

y/n: BET

see 57 other replies…

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y/n just posted on their close friends story

replies

reece: HAHAHAHAHAHAH 😭😭

y/n: the games the game 🤷‍♀️

katie_mccabe11: absolutely gold omg 😶😶

y/n: honestly it was outta pocket 😫

alessiarusso99: omg omg omg

y/n: it was honestly a moment 😭

lucybronze: what a day 😂

y/n: honestly it was a nice day mainly 😜

miafishel10: is the new one nice at least????

y/n: HES FANTASTIC! His name is Sam and he’s showing us his puppy he has with his bf which is adorable and he’s taken some cute pics of me and Laur so look out for them ;))))

miafishel10: legend 😫❤️

see 49 other replies…

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Lj10 just posted

Lj10 we really are hot

tagged y/n

liked by leahwilliamsonn, mbrighty04, and 108, 211 others

view all 2376 comments

mbright04: cuties 🥺

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Lj10: cheers Mills! y/n says luv u! x

samanthakerr20: these are actually so sweet 😫

^

Lj10: Thanks Sammy 👍

lucybronze: who took these photos?!!

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Lj10: our new waiter Sam! Absolute Legend!

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y/n: we love sam v much! 😘

username1: THEY ARE SO CUTE

username2: UGH 🔥

username3: ROMANTIC! ❤️❤️

y/n: just would like to point out as cute as these are - lj still wouldn’t play mermaids with me :((((

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reece: @Lj10 that is UNACCEPTABLE 😡😡

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y/n: thank you ik !! 😌

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Lj10: omg babe 🙄

alessiarusso99: I’LL PLAY MERMAIDS WITH YOU Y/N 🩷🩷

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ellatoone: SAME

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esme.morgan: SAME 😌😌

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y/n: HOW QUICK CAN YA’LL GET ON A PLANE 🥺😩

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Lj10: YOU LOT DARE ISTG 😠😤

view more comments…

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y/n just posted

y/n one whole year with you baby and six more days in our own paradise ❤️ i love you x

tagged @Lj10

liked by samanthakerr20, leahwilliamsonn, and 187, 234 others

comments disabled

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Lj10 just posted

Lj10 i love you so lucky to have had a year with you, excited for more to come <3 xx

tagged y/n

liked by mbrighty04, reece, and 164, 877 others

comments disabled

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y/n just posted on her story

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END

ya girl ran out of image allowances on the app - which ngl is stupid!

But lemme what you lot think?? request if you want anything and I’ll do my best xoxox

- Queenie xo

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[circeyoru]

Following The Script

[Human & Demon!Alastor x Isekai!Reader]

Similar Storyline: {Surprise, Surprise, I’m Here to Watch}

**Assume that Hazbin Hotel was completed and basically a lot of the characters’ back stories and endings were revealed. This is basically like those manhwas where you get isekaied to a novel/show/game that you know the ending to and stuff

You didn’t think it would happen but it did. You were isekaied. At first you didn’t know where you were, you assumed you went back in time since there was nothing funny about your new surroundings. That’s until you met him. Alastor, The Radio Demon, in child form

Oh he’s so cute!

Anyways, not surprised that you ended up in your favourite pastime show Hazbin Hotel. It was a long and tiring road, but you kept up with everything. Especially Alastor’s side of things since he was and is your favourite of favourites

The moment you knew where and when you were, you got to work. First deciding whether you want to be in Heaven or Hell after your death. You didn’t want to return to your world or go through the trouble of ‘accepting these characters are real’, they were real to you the moment you loved the show!

On one hand, in Heaven, you could rise in ranks and perhaps help Charlie beforehand and even travel down to Hell to talk to Lucifer, plus there was Emily, the sweet bean. But Hell was where majority of your favourites are. Guess, Hell it was

You took a page from Alastor’s book, to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. You know what types of power you want and you cheated your way out of the system, all to prepare yourself to be a powerful demon in Hell

You were in a well-earned and respectful family, not extremely wealthy but there was power and money to flant, so you used that. Unlike Alastor, you weren’t much of a direct killer type, you prefer something else. Like poison or sickness. Times are behind now, so you got away with everything

Speaking of the demon or boy as he is now, you made friends with him. His backstory was tragic and sad, reliant on his lovely mother while hatred for his father. You somehow became his source of light as well, through your kindness and assertiveness. Well, your mental age was well developed, after all, so even without manipulation on your part, things would go your way

Until they didn’t. Your expertise in law and persuasion got you a scholarship away from home. A feet your parents were proud of, they immediately got plans to move away! Anything to be a stepping stone on your path to success

The issue was telling Alastor that you’re leaving for who knows how long. Easy to say, he didn’t take it all too well. It was like a truck hit him, and stray dogs were eating his remains alive. You still weren’t used to seeing him without smiles and all that. Guilt plagued you, you had promised to be by his side, yet here you are, leaving on such short notice

The two of you promised to meet again, exchanging letters in the meantime to update the other on what happened. You kept an eye out on Alastor’s situation since it would be around this time that his killing urges started. His first victim was indeed his father

Unknown to you, it wasn’t. His first kill was the young lad that had a crush on you. That boy followed you around like a lost pup, that thing was threatening your closeness with him. So he couldn’t help it. One day, he brought his prey to the forest and had a taste of first blood

The thought came to him, the next should be his ridiculous excuse of a father, but he can’t when you’re around. His father’s bad treatment of him was what led you to stick around him, even let him stay at your place. There were maybe some uses of that man

Not anymore, not when you were far away, not when your only communication was through letters that he had to wait forever to receive one. Not when the mistreatment got worse

He somehow hoped that you’d return to comfort him for his loss. It didn’t happen. Nothing changed. You didn’t return, not even during long holidays or when he told you he had gotten famous and loved as a radio host

He would have hated you if not for the last news that you passed away during the beginning of the Great Depression by some low life that robbed and killed you and your family. He thought he didn’t need you since you had been away, but he couldn’t stop that feeling of dread when realization hit him that you were gone as he prepared for the news to report on his radio show

The fated year of 1933 came, Alastor’s death year. You formed bonds with Rosie and built a name for yourself in Hell. You were waiting for Alastor’s arrival. His fall into Hell and his appearance as the newest Overlord was one that you waited so long to see for yourself, you couldn’t reveal yourself just yet, you had to see for yourself

And what a show he performed. He did not disappoint! “Alastor! That was amazing!” You approached his giant form while clapping your hands like a child at the end of a play. You have no fear since this was Alastor, if need be, you can escape

How. How did you know who he was? His title was established but not his name. Who was this lowly sinner to approach him? He tried intimidation, that didn’t work

“Come on, you don’t recognize me?” You questioned, giving him your signature look to see if it jogs his memory, if it doesn’t you’ll just lea—

“My darling doe?” Alastor’s eyes widened at the nickname that came out of his lips. It was you and you were in Hell? But you were an angel to him! What could have led you astray? Was it after you left him? What vermin tainted you?

“What’s with all that voodoo symbol around you for, you mad about something?” You questioned as you got close to his darkened face. While it was creepy and scary to some, you didn’t shiver in a bad way. “Hell to Alastor? Anyone home?”

It was your turn to freeze and malfunction as Alastor wrapped his arms around you in a hug, the shadows formed a dome around you two as he buried his face between your neck and shoulder. “How I’ve waited for this. I thought you were in Heaven.”

That’s right, Alastor never knew how twisted you were because you kept it under wraps, you never told him because you wanted his childhood to be a happier one, different from the show. You knew you’d see him again but he never knew and thought the worse. You hugged him back slowly, “I did some bad things and made some evil choices, Al. But I’m happy to see you are well.”

Once the two of you got over the wondrous reunion, all hell broke loose. Alastor’s name spread far and wide, dominating the weak and instilling fear. Deals were made here and there while you watched with pride and excitement. The last of his commitment was his relationship with you, a couple, to be bound to each other. Different from contracts, it was a binding link between the heart

Well, he already stole your heart before you were here, so. Yes, absolutely, definitely

It didn’t smooth you during his 7 years of disappearance. You couldn’t interfere because part of the plot centered around it, similar to how you wouldn’t change the fact that Adam will order for an earlier extermination. Even when you were an angel in Heaven, you can’t change those things

Unlike the stories, you liked the way Hazbin Hotel told its plotline and all the characters. You didn’t want a thing to change. You have the power to change, but you didn’t, you could have removed what others’ were suffering from, but you didn’t. ‘Evil choices’, you did it all for your favourite characters to exist and form bonds with each other

You could have spared Husk the deal made with Alastor, but that wouldn’t teach him to be who he is and help Angel later on. You could have saved Vaggie from losing her eye and wings, but that wouldn’t let her meet Charlie and see a change in sinners. You could have warned Lucifer but that removes Charlie’s drama with him. You could have helped or warned Alastor of his death and that deal he hated but you let him go on his disappearance so he’d return with a purpose and not pure entertainment

Sometimes, even with the romantic relationship you have with Alastor and the friendships you shared with everyone else, you still feel out of place and foreign. Like you don’t belong. You do wonder, what if you turned the world into chaos and watched them all dance? Would that satisfy you?

Alastor noticed that distant look in your eyes when you were left to your own devices. He caught that look even when the two of you were alive. You’d stare with the boredest look in your eyes like you knew what would happen and that spark of interest would only remain for at most a minute. That look you had intensified after his return. How dull was the world through your eyes?

When he returned from his disappearance, he expected you to yell or question him, yet you didn’t and welcomed him back like he returned from a late night of destruction. Almost like you knew. But he didn’t have time to ask or explore it. His freedom came first

Oh, he didn’t even know you were slowly slipping away from his grasp. If only he was more entertaining to the supreme being that knew all

Note: Hahahahaa! I'll let this down! Next time I'll ask if the person is not anonymous for the request. If it's anonymous, I'll just take it as it asked or I switch it up with something I can write.

Circe Y.

MASTERLIST

[its-time-to-write]

Hiii! Sorry it’s taken me so long to read the new fic but it’s amazing!! Such a beautiful story! I love that she moved next door to Jamie’s mom. Giving invisible string vibes. But now I’m wanting the engagement story!!!

Thanks for this! Don’t know why I struggled so hard with this ask🙃

This technically can be a standalone, but this request was in light of the fic i know now it’ll pass, so check it out if you get confused😂 Thanks for requesting!

healing me fine

“We’re going where?” you ask for the millionth time.

“Not fucking telling,” Jamie replies, also for the millionth time. “Just sit there and look pretty, babe.”

You frown at him and pull your legs up in the passenger seat of his car. He has a day off of training, and you both have been looking forward to it for a long time. Jamie took it upon himself to plan a date but he refused to give you any details other than the instructions, “Dress cute.”

So here you are, dressed cute with a picnic basket at your feet so it won’t slide around in the boot.

You ask, “How much longer?” and Jamie pretends like he can’t hear you. The nerve. The audacity. The-

“Stop thinking shit about me,” he says. He’s got one hand on the wheel and another on your thigh. You slip your hand into his and squeeze it. 

“I just like to know things,” you tell him. “You know everything about me. Why do you get to have secrets?”

He lifts your hand to kiss it, eyes still on the road. “Stop being so dramatic,” he says with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “We’re almost there.”

He pulls into a gravel lot and comes around to open your door. He grabs the picnic basket in one hand and you with the other. 

“C’mon.”

You follow him down a stone path into“Lad who owns this place rents it out to people,” Jamie tells you. “Private experience, like. Fuckin’ called him like an old fart soon as I knew it weren’t gonna rain. Had to give him tickets to the next match agains Chelsea, like. Anyway, figured you’d like it.”

‘Figured you’d like it’ is the understatement of the century. Jamie’s taken you to the mist gorgeous private garden you’ve ever seen in your life. The stone path is mossy and green, and a soft breeze makes the bushes and trees rustle. It’s a good thing Jamie has a firm grip on your hand and knows where he’s going, because you’re too busy staring at all the flowers.

“Here we are,” Jamie says, coming to a stop in a small clearing. There’s a blanket laid out, and lanterns strung in the tree.

The breath feels like it’s knocked from your lungs.

“Jamie,” you gasp, “what the fuck? This is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done in your whole life.”

Jamie cocks his head. “More romantic than carrying you to a real bed at 4am instead of concrete?” 

“Yes,” comes your immediate reply. “Well, maybe not. But it’s definitely number two.”

“Thank fuck,” Jamie says. “Now if ya say ‘no,’ I’ll know it wasn’t a complete waste.”

Your brow furrows. “Say no to what?” you ask.

Jamie grins, squeezes your hand, and slips down onto one knee. He fumbles with a pocket and pulls out a small box.

“Marry me?” he asks.

“Obviously,” you reply, tears beginning to form. “How else would I sleep at night?” You smile back at him as he slides a giant diamond on your finger, then stands up to dip you in a kiss. You’re vaguely aware of clapping and when you come up for air you see Georgie and Simon . 

“I thought you were coming tomorrow!” you exclaim.

“It’s called a decoy, babe,” Jamie says. “Been planning this for fucking ages. Even got Roy to pick ‘em up from the airport. Hairy prick said he weren’t doing it for me but he’d do it for you.”

“Prick,” you agree as Georgie squeezes you in a tight hug.

Her eyes are glistening, but you’re not surprised; she’s been hoping for this since you first met.

“I’ve finally got a daughter,” she says. “I’m so happy for you, love.”

“Oi, I’m here too,” Jamie complains.

Simon pats him on the back. “You know how they get when they’re together. Better get used to it, this is how holidays are going to go.”

You’re not even paying attention because you’re too busy giggling and planning with Georgie. You catch his eye and he winks at you, which you return with a pointed blink 

Jamie shakes his head fondly. He’s sure he couldn’t have picked a better person to spend the rest of his life with.

[1d1195]

Neighbors Extra IV - Merry Christmas

Read Neighbors here

I wanted to write something for the holidays and they seemed like a worthy couple to do so. I will get back to Dolcezza over the next few days and I'm sorry my posting schedule is off now. I will get that back on track too.

Warnings: fluff, cuteness, Christmassy nonsense (maybe a little angst if you read it the right way)

This isn't super proofread. I'm not sure how my timeline is matching up with the rest of the story but this is their first Xmas together as a couple. Probably before the other Extras I've written but I'm not sure time is really relevant.

~3.1k words

Surely everyone in her life showered Rory with presents. He hoped that her family spoiled her just as much.

But he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the case.

“I hope Santa gets everything on my list,” Rory giggled. Harry watched as the wonderful woman helped Rory write out his list. She wrote out each item carefully, committing it to memory. He signed his name in his large six-year-old print. Once the list was decorated with stickers and glitter (and an extra drawing of the North Pole was slipped in the envelope), she stole a picture of it for her own use and memories. The three of them headed to the store to put the envelope in the North Pole mailbox and get some shopping done.

Harry smiled lazily. This was better than any Christmas he could imagine with his little family—and it had hardly started. He gazed longingly at the love of his life as she meandered down the aisles getting presents for her family, Harry’s family, coworkers, and anyone else she could think of before she would have to find a time to get all those items on Rory’s list. “Think y’ve been pretty good, lad,” Harry smiled. “Don’t you?”

He nodded. “I’ve eaten all my vegetables this year. Even the gross ones,” he wrinkled his nose distastefully. It was the same way she did it which made his heart flutter at the sight. Rory was so much like his mum it hurt in the best way.

Harry chuckled. “Mummy and I appreciate that. S’good for you,” he reminded him.

“Can you help me get Mumma a present?” Rory whispered. He wasn’t very good at it. She turned a bit toward the sound of his little voice ever so slightly. A smirk on her face that Harry didn’t miss. He ignored her attention so he could focus on Rory’s inquiry with hope that maybe the pair of them could surprise her.

As usual, she was very smart and did a lot of her Christmas shopping early in the season—almost as soon as the decorations for Halloween came down, she was out at the store buying gifts.

“Course, lad. What do y’want t’get her?”

“A racecar. So she can play with me,” he explained. It wasn’t a question in Rory’s mind. It was the most obvious choice of gift.

Harry chuckled. “I see. Do y’think Mummy has asked Santa for something else we could get her? Something a little more girly?”

By now she had rounded the corner to the next aisle. Harry and Rory had veered off to look at the racecars. “Mumma doesn’t get presents from Santa,” he shrugged heading to the section of toys that he deemed worthy of Mummy.

Harry frowned at how readily that came from Rory. “Oh? She on the naughty list?” He joked. But he would tease her about that later when they fell asleep. Right as they fell asleep.

Rory giggled. “Mumma isn’t naughty, Harry,” he rolled his eyes.

No. She wasn’t. She was the furthest thing from it. She was perfect. An angel. It was...the best thing that had ever happened to Harry—moving in across the street from someone so lovely. “Then how come she doesn’t get any gifts from Santa?” He was joking of course. Surely there would be a little white lie of how Santa left them at the North Pole or there was a promise of next year there would be double the amount for Mumma.

But he hadn’t anticipated Rory’s response. “Mumma said that she called Santa when I was born. She doesn’t want presents so I can have more. Mumma says that even his magic sleigh has a weight limit.”

Harry thought his heart might break. This was the third Christmas that Rory probably understood. His developmental psychology classes told him that age four is usually when kids start to get the gist of what Christmas is like for them. That meant for the time that they knew one another, she hadn’t gotten Christmas gifts from “Santa.”

It shouldn’t have been such a surprise to him. What else was she supposed to say to Rory? There wasn’t anyone to balance the gifts out so that she had something to open while Rory got new toys and clothes. Harry tried to think of what he got her over the last couple years. It wasn’t anything special because he couldn’t remember.

She was selfless, of course. Especially for Rory. It honestly made him fall more in love with her. Made him want to cry something awful as well. Harry wondered if she minded. Surely everyone in her life showered Rory with presents. He hoped that her family spoiled her just as much.

But he had a sneaking suspicion that wasn’t the case.

“Boys, are we ready to go get some hot chocolate and start decorating?” She called.

Rory quickly handed over the racecar he wanted to get her and pushed it behind Harry’s legs where he could reach to hide it from Mumma. The pair of them smiled like they had just stolen a cookie from the kitchen after she said no. She smirked and met Harry’s gaze with a twinkle in her eyes, herself. “Yes, Mumma,” Rory said hurried to her side. He turned and put a finger to his lips toward Harry. So, he would keep the present a secret. He winked at the little one and caught her gaze once more so he could wink at her too. With a shake of her head, she turned her attention forward toward the checkout.

*

Don’t forget to invite Gemma and your Mum, please.

Harry smiled at his message as he and Gemma walked the aisles of the beauty store. Harry wanted to get her everything her heart desired and more, but wanted to make sure it was right—that required reinforcements.

“Does she use a face roller?”

“A what?”

“Jesus Christ, Harry,” she sighed in exasperation. She threw one in the basket.

“I don’t know, Gem. I don’t think she has a skincare routine. She’s usually making sure Rory gets a bath and goes t’bed.”

Gemma didn’t like that response. “Then we’re going to get her a spa day too after this,” she explained. “And you need to make sure she takes some time to herself every night,” she said knowingly. Harry nodded. He didn’t care about how many stores they were going to. He wanted this to be the Christmas of her dreams and more. He would get her anything and everything. Cost wasn’t a problem. And he was going to make sure she spent an hour to herself every night for the rest of their lives. “Does she ever complain of dry skin? Or that she looks oily?”

“No...” he shrugged again. Maybe he wasn’t paying as close attention as he thought he was to her self-care.

“Does she ever do anything for herself, Harry? Or do you just let her do everything?”

“Gemma. She is a selfless person. S’impossible t’do anything for her,” he resented the idea that he wasn’t doing a good job as her boyfriend. But Gemma wasn’t wrong. It sounded like he was doing a bad job.

“Okay, okay, you’re right,” she nodded in agreement. “Mum is getting her all sorts of clothes for us to split up and give to her,” she tossed three different serums into the little basket. “She wears makeup, right?”

Harry never thought she needed it, but he couldn’t help but be hypnotized by the way she glided the various liquids and powders over her face each morning. She did it quickly—with a six-year-old everything had to be done quickly. But it was like watching an artist as she put stuff on her face and turned even more beautiful than she was without it.

“Yes,” he said confidently feeling like he finally was contributing to this whole escapade.

“Does her stuff look old? Has she ever said anything about getting new makeup?”

He thought about all the brushes and tubes she used each morning. Harry thought all of them looked on the older side. “What’s the one y’dot on y’face? Under y’eyes?”

“Concealer.”

“She said they discontinued the brand, so she keeps putting water in hers.”

“Jesus Christ, that’s sad,” Gemma remarked. “Alright, I’ll get her the kind I liked. She can always return it. Give me your phone.”

Harry handed it over immediately. Gemma examined the picture of the pair of them in his background. A selfie from the symphony. Harry felt himself warm at the sight of her even on his own screen that he looked at no less than thirty times a day. While Gemma did her best to match her skin tone, Harry simply admired how pretty she looked and how even just her picture made him feel an overwhelming amount of love for his little life.

“It’s hard to tell in pictures, but she’s tanner than I am; lucky bitch,” Gemma grumbled. Harry smirked.

“Do you want anything for Christmas?” He asked his sister.

Gemma snorted. “She’s already way ahead of you, Harry,” Gemma smiled. “You’re about a month too late.”

He chuckled shyly. “Sorry, Gem.”

“It’s okay. It’s... really nice you have someone so thoughtful. As thoughtful as you. Maybe even more so just because she does it so early. But... I wouldn’t want you to be with someone less thoughtful. So it’s nice.” Harry agreed fully and smiled even brighter knowing that his sister loved his choice in love as much as he did. “Alright. We’re meeting Mum for lunch and then we are going to the home goods store for stuff she might need around the house... what are you doing about her stocking?”

“Doesn’t some of this stuff go in there?”

“Yeah... but like... you could get her jewelry or something.”

Harry nodded. “Okay... I’ll do that on my own.”

“Harry,” Gemma smiled at her little brother—even though he was a good seven inches taller. “You’re doing great. This is...” she sighed happily. “She’s going to love it.”

Harry felt a sense of pride wash over him even though his cheeks warmed at the praise. He really hoped she would.

*

“Harry?” She whispered in the middle of the night. They had spent an hour setting up Rory’s new roller coaster track after she finished wrapping a few last-minute gifts and pulling the presents from various hiding places—the shed in the backyard, the back of her car, and of course across the street at Harry’s house that had hardly seen anything else Christmas related since he spent all his time with her and Rory.

“Jus’ getting some water, kitten. Go back t’sleep,” he leaned down to kiss her forehead. She didn’t need to be told twice. Her light snores started almost instantly, which boded well for Harry. All her presents were in the back of his car. The transfer had been done late in the day by Gemma while the three of them went to the Christmas Eve fair put on by the local high school. They drank more hot chocolate than Rory could dream about. She worried the sugar would keep him up and prevent them from putting the presents under the tree.

Harry found Rory at the top of the stairs. A ribbon and sign across the way telling Rory not to go down without Mumma and Harry. He was asleep on the floor. A pillow from his room and covered with the blanket she and Rory made one rainy afternoon in November. She helped cut all the little ends while he did his best to tie them together.

Harry smirked and lifted Rory from the floor to bring him back to his bed. “Harry?” Rory murmured.

“Hmm?” He hummed.

“Did Santa come?” He yawned.

“Santa won’t come if y’aren’t in y’bed, lad,” he reminded him.

“I wanted to ask him to give Mumma some of my presents,” he muttered sleepily.

Harry felt his heart warm. “I’ll go write him a note,” he placed Rory on his little mattress, tucked him in, kissed his forehead, and ruffled his hair. “Don’t get out of bed, till morning, Rory. Or Santa won’t come,” he reminded him.

But Rory was already asleep.

*

“Mumma!” Rory’s little voice gasped. Harry’s eyes fluttered open to meet her sleeping figure. Her lips parted as she breathed. Harry reached out and put a hand on her face.

“Hey, beautiful,” Harry whispered and inched forward to place a kiss on her forehead. “S’time t’get up,” he murmured. “Merry Christmas,” he leaned closer to kiss the shell of her ear as he spoke softly to her. Meanwhile, Harry could hear Rory bouncing up and down the little hallway between their rooms and the stairs chanting that it was Christmas and Santa came.

Her lashes fluttered as she woke up, meeting Harry’s beautiful green eyes. “Harry, Santa came!”

He winked at her as she rubbed her eye tiredly. “Yeah, lad?” He smiled at the excitement. “Y’didn’t go down, did you?”

“No way, Jose!”

Harry chuckled. “D’you want t’come give Mummy a Christmas hug?” He asked.

There was a shift in weight on the bed as Rory’s little body flung himself in between the pair of them. “Merry Christmas Mumma,” he giggled and snuggled up to her. She smiled, burying her face in his hair, and squeezing him to her.

“Merry Christmas, love bug,” she sighed sleepily but very content.

“Can we go downstairs?” He was trying to wriggle free.

“I have to brush my teeth and we’ll go right down,” she promised and threw the covers back. “Maybe you should give Harry a Christmas tickle,” she suggested as she left the bed and Rory took her word and tickled Harry well enough to make him squirm and giggle himself.

“You’ll pay for that,” he kissed the side of her face as she exited the bathroom so Harry could brush his teeth too.

Rory was now bouncing with excitement, and she smiled sitting back on the bed while they waited for Harry. “What do you think Santa brought you?” She asked.

“I hope he brought me the roller coaster,” he crossed his fingers on both hands to show her and she mimicked the gesture while Harry returned as quickly as possible.

“Alrighty, I think we can go down now,” she smiled.

Harry grinned and followed behind the two of them. Rory was squealing and laughing as he reached the bottom of the stairs before they did. He hurried to the rollercoaster set and sent the little cart flying down the track while she tilted her head at the pile of presents that seemed to increase in size by at least a half.

“Did you get him more?” She muttered under her breath.

“Mumma!” Rory shouted. “Harry wrote Santa a note for me last night! Santa brought you some presents this year.”

She seemed to freeze in place and Harry put a hand on her lower back. “C’mon, kitten. S’Christmas,” he kissed the top of her head and nudged her toward the sofa so she could sit.

“H-he did, huh?” She looked overwhelmed at the pile of neatly wrapped presents with her name on them. Most were labeled from Santa. A few from Harry and one from Rory—the racecar of course.

“We start with the stockings,” Rory explained to Harry grabbing the one with an H on it and handing it to him. It was filled with little trinkets and items that she painstakingly tied with ribbons and candies that he would undoubtedly end up sharing with Rory until their stomachs hurt.

“Oh...I had a chat with Santa last night,” he recalled sitting beside the poor thing that was struggling to make sense of all the items under their overly decorated tree. “Santa agreed that I could do Mummy’s stocking from now on,” he told Rory.

“Mumma, Harry knows Santa too!” The poor thing was having a meltdown on the inside of her mind. It was clear on her face as she tried to factor in the price of all the presents that were tied nicely with bows and ribbons. Rory handed off her stocking as well and was lucky she didn’t drop it immediately. Lucky that Harry was sitting right beside her to hold it while he placed his beside him. Rory sat himself on the floor with the stocking between his legs. “Can I start?”

She was mute it seemed as she examined all the little items poking out of the top of the oversize sock. “Go ahead, lad,” Harry encouraged and squeezed her thigh. “You too, kitten,” he murmured into her ear.

“You...” she whispered breathlessly, cleared her throat and Harry saw the well of tears filling her eyes. “Santa brought me a lot of stuff,” she murmured while Rory oohed and ahhed over the little things filling his stocking.

“He told me that y’never have t’sacrifice Christmas on behalf of Rory anymore. That was really nice of you t’do it the last few years. But...he wants you t’get whatever y’ever want,” he cupped her cheek while Rory ripped open his bag of M&Ms spilling tens of them across the floor with a little scattering that she ignored because Harry was gazing at her like she was the most special thing on the planet.

Harry really, truly believed she was.

“Yeah?” She smiled, but her eyes were so watery it made him melt.

“Very much so,” he leaned forward and swept his lips across hers briefly so as not to get Rory’s attention to their yucky kissing. “Merry Christmas, m’love.”

“Merry Christmas, Harry,” she leaned toward him, resting against his chest. His arm draped over her while they watched Rory stuff a mouthful of M&Ms between his lips. They continued watching him open each and every present that was selflessly ticked off his list.

“This is the best Christmas ever,” Rory smiled excitedly.

“I think so too, love bug,” she giggled at him.

“Absolutely,” Harry agreed.

“How about a picture, Rory?” She asked grabbing her phone out of the pocket of her leggings. “C’mere,” she handed her phone to Harry and opened her arms for Rory to hop into her embrace. Rory situated himself half on her lap and half on Harry’s. She squeezed closer to Harry while he hold the phone out for a selfie. Rory held his little jar of slime out for the picture and Harry grinned into the camera as she rested her hand on Harry’s leg around Rory’s little body as best she could. “Alright one more,” Harry smirked and leaned toward her to steal a kiss that caused Rory’s face to wrinkle in distaste forever savoring the perfect moment on film.

A Christmas for the history books, for certain.

At least their history books.

--

general taglist: @justlemmeadoreyou @daydreamingofmatilda @sunshinemoonsposts @youdontcaredoyou @tiredinwinter @loving-hazz @likeapplejuicenpeach @straightontilmornin @freedomfireflies @littlenatilda @kathb59 @babegoals @angel-upon @lilfreakjez @mleestiles @ameliaalvarez06 @canyonmoondreams @summertime-pills @daphnesutton @l4rrysh0use @perfectywrong @foreverxholland @lolyouallsuck @buckybarnessimpp @stylesfever @harrysxcarolina @haarrrys @lovrave @st-ev-ie @pandeebearstyles @toosarcastic03 @luvonstyles @tenaciousperfectionunknown

neighbors taglist: @claimingharrystigertattoo @mopeymousey @vmpellie

[mazeinthemiroh]

hihi!! in honor of the upcoming holiday season could i request a skz reaction to you inviting them to meet ur parents? i miss them :((

stray kids when their s/o invites them to meet their parents

genre: fluff

word count: 0.8k

warnings: none

pls like and reblog if you enjoyed! feel free to request anything <3

bangchan

chan is so nervous but like... why? he's literally the best guy on the planet to introduce your parents to. he is well-behaved, respectable, responsible, admirable and he has extreme amounts of overflowing charisma. mothers love him. fathers respect him. what's not to love? but we know channie, and channie gets himself worked up about these sorts of things. which is only natural; it is a big deal! he just wants to make a great first impression and, of course, he does. you know he has nothing to worry about because your parents would love him regardless.

lee know

minho has a... spikey personality. not everyone gets him. but he knows which bits of himself to show off in order to make a good first impression. like most introverts, they'll show off their best qualities first so that you warm up to them and then once you're invested in them then they'll start showing their weird-ass personality in full swing. that's what minho plans on doing with your parents, just as he did you 🤧🤧 so romantic. honestly though, it works like a charm. minho is naturally charming and respectable no matter how crazy he is on the inside <3333

changbin

oh my gosh when i tell you that all mothers absolutely ADORE changbin. are we even surprised? nope, i didn't think so. he makes a very good first impression no matter who he speaks to, so meeting your parents is like a walk in the park for him. he will totally bring some homemade snacks with him he got felix to make them, but your parents don't need to know that, which seems to impress them. overall, changbin is just amazing. he knows what is appropriate to say and what isn't, and he makes both your parents laugh a lot! he's just so easy to love.

hyunjin

he's nervous for sure but also pretty damn excited. needs a whole-ass month to mentally and emotionally prepare for this experience. hyunjin's very first instinct is to get your parents flowers and chocolates, which is a very good start. when it comes to actually interacting with them, he might be his shy, cute self to begin with, but they can tell he is eager to talk to them. and after a couple of conversational cues, hyunjin will slowly start to loosen up and be comfortable with your parents. it goes really well, and he realises he had nothing to worry about!

han

he just embraces the situation as much as possible. he views it as kind of a big deal but he doesn't let nerves get the better of him, so he wants to enjoy the first time meeting your parents as much as possible. sure, he has butterflies about it, but he doesn't really let that affect him and potentially spoil the moment. he strives to make an enjoyable atmosphere and actively makes your parents laugh as much as possible. it's always good at being humorous with parents, he finds. so copes quite well!

felix

is a nervous wreck. will ask you a tone of questions beforehand. it's like he has to know everything about your parents before he has even met them. "what's your mother's maiden name?" "what does your dad do as a job?" "are there any topics to stay away from? politics? religion? the barbie movie coming out in 2023??" he literally interrogates you like he NEEDS to know everything. he wants to be perfect and know how to act perfect even though he literally IS perfect and doesn't even need to change anything about himself in order to be liked.

seungmin

a tad scared but plays it cool. you know what he's like; he'll pretend that everything is chill and fine even if he's freaking out on the inside. he has nothing to worry about because your parents get to see what a polite, genuine young lad he is and can see he's trustworthy just by his general demeanour and the way he treats you. at the end of the day, who isn't gonna like kim seungmin?? exactly. he leaves your parents' house feeling refreshed and welcomed into the family. a success indeed!

jeongin

oh bless him... he's super intimidated. he stays up all night, restlessly trying to prepare and run through different conversations to have with your parents. he doesn't want to come across as shy or, heaven forbid, anti-social. but when the occasion comes to it, he only speaks when he is spoken to and is very to himself. i feel like after a bit of encouragement from you, he will slowly relax a bit and feel more comfortable to talk more directly and meaningfully with your parents. just give him time and he'll be fine.

[watermelonsugacry]

❄ Wonderful Christmastime ❄

A/N: SINCE 2010 ficmas day 4!

SUMMARY: Here is how YN and Harry were throughout the past couple of years during the Christmas season.

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn

SINCE 2010 masterlist // ficmas 2022 masterlist

—2011—

After a little more than a year since becoming One Direction, the band wanted to have a little hurrah before going their separate ways to spend the holiday season with their families. While they were all relatively close to home as they reside in England for the time being, the band rented a small cabin in the country for a couple of days.

As soon as Louis parked the van in the gravel driveway, they all didn’t waste another second as they all practically shove each other out of the way, out of the vehicle and ran out to the spacious backyard. With sweaters and puffer jackets, beanies adorning everyone’s heads and snow boots, everyone didn’t hesitate to scoop up some snow and chuck it at one another. 

The boys gang up on YN and ambush her with flying snow. She squeals, trying her best to shield herself with her arms and everyone laughs. 

“Oh, wait, wait, wait,” YN drops to her knees and puts her hands to the side of her face. 

“Shit, y’alright?” Niall comes down to her level, already out of breath from the altitude. 

“Yeah, it’s just...feel my wrath, Horan!” She quickly scoops up some snow to smash on top of the blonde lad’s head before laughing and running off to throw more snow at the other boys.

Forgetting all about their luggages in the car, the boys scatter around the yard as Niall and Zayn search for sticks and rocks while Louis and Liam roll snow together in attempts to make a snowman. All the while Harry and YN lay side by side as they make as many snow angels as they can. When he’s about to get up to go to another empty spot, Harry turns his head to find YN laying spread out in the snow with a content smile on her face. He smiles fondly at his band mate as he watches her stick her tongue out to catch the falling snow flakes.

“You look so cute,” Harry hums.

“What did yeh just say?” YN’s eyebrows slightly pinch together, her breath can be seen out in front of her from the bitter winter. He’s stunned, he didn’t even know he said that out loud.

“I said you look like a fruit,” He quickly covers up.

“Are yeh calling me fruity?” YN raises an eyebrow, a smile threatening to break out on her lips.

“No! No, I meant, I meant that your cheeks are red and-and that you kind of look like a red fruit. An apple or strawberry, morelike,” He rambles and can practically feel his cheeks burn a flame. It only seems to worsen when she lets out a giggle and reaches over to pinch at his reddening cheeks.

“Who looks like a strawberry now,” She teases before turning her head to her other two band mates. “Lads, yeh need a strong base or else the snowman isn’t gonna stay upright.”

YN pushes herself up to go help the guys before they break out into an argument. Harry just lays on the ground and lets the falling snow cool down his face, grateful that she got preoccupied with something else for the time being. 

He’s got to be more careful with what he says around her. As cool as she is whenever a compliment slips out, he cannot bare the thought of something else more embarrassing falling out of his mouth.

—2014—

Spending a couple of days before Christmas on the road wasn’t ideal. Usually, their busy schedule allowed the band to have at least a week or two before the Holiday came up to spend the much needed time off with their family and into the new year. This year, the band had some last minute interviews, holiday promotional videos and studio time that apparently couldn’t wait until after their break.

In hopes to lift up the mood, YN’s invited everyone over to her hotel suite for a last minute Christmas party. Aside from the rest of the band in attendance, there were a couple close members of their tour and press teams as well as their significant others who were able to be within the area for the Christmas season. It was safe to say that the little party has lifted some of the morale as the room is filled with laughter, story-tlling and mingling among the minimally decorated hotel’s living room—the little decorations YN’s PA was able to pick from the local convenience store at the last minute. 

YN was more than happy with the strings of tiny, colorful Christmas lights around the perimeter of the room, handmade paper snowflakes hanging from the ceiling and the tiny but mighty tree in the corner of the room.

Harry can’t help his eyes from drifting from the speaker in the group he’s in over to the hostess. YN has a tray of glasses of eggnog in her hands with a grand smile on her face as she offers them to their tour’s technicians seated on the couch, glasses they gladly accept with excited smiles. He can’t hear what she says to the older men there but whatever it was, he smiles at the sight of them laughing.

Harry thinks she must be the finest angel from heaven for her to do all of this. She looks golden in the soft lights of the hotel room, her hair down and when she reaches up to push it behind her ears as her nose scrunches up in laughter, she couldn’t look any more beautiful. 

The corner of his lips quickly drops when he sees a hand come up to rest on her shoulder and how she smiles up at her boyfriend standing next to her. Harry quickly turns his attention back to the group he’s in, and when it pains him, he looks back at his bandmate one more time only to wish he didn’t. The second he sets his eyes on them again, Matthew catches her lips with his. Even if it was for a quick peck, it has her beaming and Harry crushed. 

Moreso when little, baby Lux comes wobbling up to her legs and makes a grabby hands motion to get picked up. YN gladly takes the toddler in her arms and Harry practically sees red when Matthew taps a finger to Lux’s nose with a smile. As bad as it sounds, Harry tries to hide his smile behind his glass when the toddler quickly hides her face into YN’s neck, not wanting any part of the man beside his bandmate.

After a few more minutes of mingling, YN makes the announcement that it's time to open up some of the gifts people brought. Along with the last minute idea of the party, YN organized a small Secret Santa for everyone who planned on coming. Since everyone randomly picked names out of a hat a day or two before the party, she reassured everyone that the gifts don’t need to be extravagant at all, that this was a silly little game for shits and giggles to lift up the mood.

Everyone gathers in the living room to watch and laugh as everyone opens a present from their Secret Santa. Nancy, the band’s tour nurse, cackles when she reveals that behind the green wrapping paper she got a small box of puppy band-aids, their hairdresser Lou sarcastically smiles when she unboxes her own hair-spray bottles, and Niall pretends to cry when he pulls out a Dr. Pepper bottle from his little gift bag.

“Alright,” Emma, YN’s stylist, looks at the small wrapped box in her hands, “This next gift is to YN from her Secret Santa.” 

The room cheers and whoops, making her laugh from her seat next to Matthew on the couch as she reaches for her gift. Harry stands off to the side with some of the lighting crew from their tour team and he begins to fidget and pinch at his bottom lip.

YN playfully shakes the tiny box by her ear and pouts when she doesn’t hear anything rattle.

“I don’t think it’s the puppy I asked for, lads,” She teases and the room chuckles. After ripping off the Santa cover wrapping paper, she lifts the tiny paper box and her smile drops in a small gasp. The room grows quiet as they wait for her to reveal what she received and Harry’s practically shaking in nerves.

Matthew furrows his eyebrows, “Y’alright, babe?” When he leans over to look what’s inside, he’s surprised to see a ring. Not just a ring one can pick up from the nearest dollar store, but a proper jewelry store. The ring is made up of small butterflies consisting of tiny diamonds filling the small shapes. 

YN takes in a shaky breath before speaking, “It’s a ring. A beautiful one um, sorry I kinda dunno what to say,” She lets out a nervous chuckle, not expecting such a beautiful, expensive present.

“Say thank you to that boyfriend of yours for one-upping the rest of us,” One of the band’s social media team lifts his drink, making the room laugh in agreement before moving on to the next person. As Emma reads off the next recipient, YN doesn’t look at Matthew (although she feels him burning a hole at the side of her head) but keeps her gaze on the ring. The second before he lifts his gaze to her closest band mate, Harry quickly flicks his gaze from YN to Emma as she hands off the next present.

As the night progresses and the party guests begin to get tipsy from spiking the eggnog, Harry sees YN in the kitchen as she moves her hand as she talks with her boyfriend. He sees Matt shake his head and barely lift his shoulders like he doesn’t believe what she’s telling him. He watches as he grabs another couple of glasses of eggnog before walking out of the kitchen and to another guest. YN rolls her eyes before going back to preparing another plate of gingerbread cookies Nacy brought.

Harry runs a hand through the top of his shoulder length hair before dismissing himself from the rest of the people on the couch. Before he can make his way down the hallway where the bathrooms are at, he feels a hand on his wrist.

“Harry,” His name sounds like an angelic song coming from YN’s lips, “Hey, I can talk to you for a sec.”

“Course,” He says with a reassuring nod although he’s not too sure why she would when she’s been running around making the party the best it could be. “It’s a great party you’re throwing. Everyone seems to be enjoying it. We all needed this.”

“‘Fanks. Although I’m the one who should be thanking you,” She huffs out a chuckle.

“Why?”

She gives him a pointed look and it's then that he notices that she’s been twisting at her newest piece of jewelry among her usual set of rings on her fingers.

“You know why,” She says quietly. “It’s gorgeous. And thoughtful and...it, it just means a lot to me.”

“I think you should tell your Secret Santa that,” Harry tries to hold back a smile. He had that ring saved up for a couple weeks now and had racked his brain on how to give it to her without making it seem like too much, especially since she has a boyfriend. He was greatly relieved when she announced that she wanted to do a secret Santa gift exchange and thanked heaven when he saw her name scribbled on a tiny piece of paper once he picked from the bunch in the hat.

“I believe I just did,” She softly smiles at him and how can his knees grow weak when she looks up at him like that?”

“Oi, look who’s under the mistletoe!” Jenny, her manager, tipsily calls out with a point of her finger. Everyone’s eyes immediately go to the two of them and confusion takes over their features. They both look up and sure enough, the tiny plant she hung up merely hours ago hangs above their heads. YN had hoped she would have caught her stylist with one of the sound technicians she’s been eyeing under here, but it backfired on her.

Harry looks around the room at everyone’s watchful and eager eyes, and sees a couple of people take out their phones as they begin to chant kiss, kiss, kiss when they begin to take too long to pursue the tradition. 

He sees how their band members peek up and around their position on the couch. He sees Louis look at his childhood best friend and it's then that Harry sees YN looking at a very timid Matthew. His arms cross over his chest as he waits for her to act.

The chanting and lights from recording phones almost drown out when he looks back at YN as their gaze locks. He can’t make out what she’s feeling, he’s usually so good at it and he surely must be wrong when he sees her patiently wait to see what he’s going to do.

Harry takes her chin in between his thumb and index finger and if it wasn’t for the chanting, he’s sure she could hear his heart beating out of his chest. As he leans down closer to her, he sees her take in a deep breath and flutter her eyes closed. 

Was it silly of her to feel disappointed when she feels him plant his kiss to her cheek instead of her lips?

The crowd playfully boos and dismisses the two with a wave of their hands before going back to their previous conversations. Their band members all give each other tipsy looks of concern.

As YN’s feet stay planted in her spot, he can’t stand to watch her blink up at him like that and with her oh-so kissable lips parted. He removes himself from her and continues his way down the hallway without another word.

As much as he would love to kiss her, he knew it wouldn’t have been right. For as long as he can remember, he’s thought about how her lips would taste, how they would feel against his, but it wasn’t the right time. When he kisses her for the first time, it’s going to be special and romantic after a candlelit dinner because that’s what she deserves. 

Not this, not here. Not yet.

—2018—

“Sorry to interrupt,” YN expertly keeps her smile at bay at the sound of her secret lover’s voice over her shoulder, two warm hands being placed on the tops of her shoulders, “But I have to whisk my friend away for just a second. Phone call from home.”

The two were currently at a massive Christmas party YN’s friend Abel was throwing. The mansion they were at was ginormous and it seemed like The Weeknd's guest list surpassed the number of people her and Harry knew combined. The only reason Harry even agreed to go was because she had said that he was her plus one, meaning he was her official date to the Christmas party. Even though the two weren't necessarily an official couple or anything and anything associated with their feeling for one another was strictly underwraps from the public eye, any occasion where the two could make a public appearance together was an opportunity to be taken.

So after getting dolled up for the night in the red velvet dress, he gifted her, the two headed over to the lavish estate with the label of friends, close friends who were once band mates in the world's most famous pop band. 

So to carry on this image for themselves, once they arrived and greeted their host for the night, Harry reluctantly had to pull away from her side to let her mingle with guests.

But after almost two hours of pretending to listen and talk with others, watching YN laugh and talk with her friends, Harry politely dismisses himself from the group of ladies who are practically throwing themselves at him and head over to her.

“Ah shite. Forgot to call me mum,” YN scrunches up her nose. “She’s gonna have my head because of it. I’ll be back in two seconds.”

“Of course! Tell Penny we said hi!” Her friends laugh and tipsily lean against one another before waving happily at another party guest walking by.

Keeping his hands on her shoulders, Harry guides them through the packed house to navigate them both through the spacious living room and towards an almost empty hallway—except for drunk couples either walking into bedrooms to get lost into one another while others apparently can’t wait as they have their mouth suction cupped together. Before she even has time to blink, Harry’s grabbing her wrist and pulling her into an empty room. It’s only when Harry flicks the light switch by the door that she registers that they’re in a coat closet. It takes her another second for her to look up and see that the thing he’s holding up in between their heads is the infamous plant that comes out this time of year.

“Is that rosemary?” YN teases, “Steal that from the kitchen, did you?”

“It’s mistletoe, actually,” He remarks with a tilt of his head. “Huh, funny how that got here,” Harry asks in faux confusion, a cheeky smirk already tugging on the corners of his lips.

“Quite funny, yeah,” YN doesn’t even try to hide her smile and playfully shakes her head, “You’re so cheesy, Styles.”

“Yeah, but you love it,” He points out as he leans his head down to bump his nose with hers to make her tilt her head back. He doesn’t even try to hide the way his eyes fall to her lips and slowly back up to her eyes.

“Unfortunately,” She sighs before quickly wrapping her arms around the tops of his broad shoulders and leaning up to connect their lips. The mistletoe is mindlessly dropped somewhere by their feet when Harry wraps his arms around her back to pull her incredibly closer. 

The two are closing in on almost two years of this confused and untitled situationship. One month they act like they’re a couple in love and the next they’re best friends and nothing more—all behind closed doors, of course. A state of affairs that neither one of them has the balls to confront head on in fear of losing what they have. After five years of forced, suppressed feelings, this just felt too good to ever think of messing up with a confrontational discussion about what they are, what they want long-term or if any of this was remotely healthy (yet both have some idea that that last point was far from the truth).

Especially in moments like this where one of his hands leave its position from running over the velvet fabric of her dress and onto the back of her head as he backs them up against the wall. She huffs out a small laugh against his lips when she feels his hands already tugging up the bottom of her dress.

“Are we really doing this?” YN’s giggle turns into a soft moan when his kisses turn feverish as he goes down her jawline to her neck. This isn’t a new thing for the two of them to partake in; sneaking around the public to have the tiniest bit of time together to indulge in actions like this has practically become their norm. 

“Want me to stop?” He heavily breathes against her neck, pressing a kiss just below her ear. He gets his answer when her hands slip from tugging on his hair down to hurriedly unbuckling his belt and she can practically feel him smirk against her skin, “S’what I thought. Now gimme these thighs.”

In a second, he’s lifting her to wrap her legs around his hips and in the next he's hushing her whimpers, moaning into the crook of her neck as she grips tightly to his shoulders while he pushes into her.

—2020—

"It's not holding," YN’s shoulders lift up to her ears in a giggle.

"You put too much frosting on it," Harry chuckles, getting up from his seat at the kitchen island to take his place behind her. "Here, I think you need an extra set of hands."

Her laughter only grows when her boyfriend obnoxiously reaches over her shoulder and places his hands on top of hers that are holding the walls of her gingerbread house upright.

This is their first Christmas together, just the two of them. Since the pandemic hit everyone particularly hard this year and travel has been very limited. Which means that with everyone having to go into lockdown for the good part of the year, going back home wasn't a solid possibility.

As devastated as they were at the news, they both knew that it was for the best as they didn't want to expose their family to anything. 

On the other hand, however, the two became excited at the realization of spending this holiday together. Even though they felt a bit homesick, it soon eased itself away by knowing that they were each other's home.

"Look, look! It's working. Here, take your hands off of it really slowly. See, look at it standing," Harry cheers at the sight of her tiny, editable home upright. Messily covered in frosting but standing nonetheless.

"It looks awful," YN shakes her head with a scrunch of her nose, her frosted covered hands held up in front of her.

"It just needs some candy shingles, some bushes in the front and, you know, some Sour Patch kiddos to live in it," He vaguely waves his hand at the house.

"Ooo, I nearly forgot we had those," YN perks up, sticking a frosting covered thumb past her lips, "Where did yeh put them again?"

"Pantry, I think."

With that, YN shimmers her way around her love before toeing the door open. After strategically grabbing the share size candy bag in between her elbows, the second she comes out from the pantry room, Harry quickly comes up to her and presses his lips to hers.

“Well what was that for? Not like m’complaining,” YN smiles when Harry rubs his nose against hers.

“You were under the mistletoe.”

YN looks up and laughs at the sight of the tiny plant hanging above them, "Did yeh put it under every doorway in our house?"

Our house.

Harry doesn't think he could ever get used to the sound of that and how it makes him feel all warm inside. He's in their house, sharing one roof as they make gingerbread houses together only two days before their first official anniversary since they became a couple. It all seems too good to be true, like a dream he never wanted to wake up from.

"I sure did," He nods with a boyish grin. 

"If you wanted to kiss me a whole bunch all you have to do is ask," YN points out and smiles when he shakes his head.

"Yeah, but where's the fun in that?"

taglist:

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[hendolish]

England NT Fic Recs ♡

never know where to start for a pairing or you're new to england nt rpf? here's a shameless collection of my favourite fics to give you a head start 🫶🏻 ———

Jack Grealish/Jordan Henderson

melt by inlovewithnight (8k)

soulmate au where you feel everything your soulmate does and can't bear being too far away from each other. they're just so at ease and in love with each other in this. probably my favourite hendolish fic! <3

About as subtle as an earthquake, I know by Lizz_88 (Bluejay00) (68k)

jack's a stripper, jordan's himself. so much more than what it says on the tin! all the characters are super complex and it takes a lot of work for these two to get together (with no shortage of lap dances and smut along the way) <3

Calm Before The Storm by preachingdoll (6k)

post-euro 2020 heartbreak jack needs a bit of help coping. jordan's there to offer a helping hand... the smut and dirty talk is 10/10

best worst behaviour by Bellelaide (25k)

kind of a hendolish classic, jordan puts bratty jack in his place.

♡

John Stones/Jordan Pickford

Sun City AU by Bellelaide (series, 40k)

honestly one of my favourite fics ever, let alone footie-wise. jordan's on a very british all-inclusive holiday at a hotel where john works. the vibes are just immaculate, you can visualise everything so clearly and there's so much depth to their characters!

Ice Melts by Bellelaide (7k)

enemies to lovers kinda? john doesn't think much of jordan before the 2018 wc but the further they get in the tournament, the closer they become. amazing characterisation and banter as always.

Helping Hand by slatkomore (14k)

with john's career ended abruptly by an injury, he turns to coaching instead and soon becomes the england u19s manager where he meets the goalkeeper coach, jordan pickford...

your world cup or mine? by Bellelaide (15k)

john goes to sleep at the 2022 wc and wakes up back in 2018 where he and jordan aren't together and barely friends. such an interesting concept and dynamic!

♡

Jack Grealish/John Stones

The Things We Did and Didn't Do by InTheFicOfIt (series, 104k)

john and jack sleep together in the aftermath of the euros, the following fic explores everything that comes after, including jack moving to man city and their friends finding out. i'm never usually tempted by this pairing but this fic is so damn good! it's written so wonderfully and there's so much of it- i couldn't put it down!

♡

Ben white/Aaron Ramsdale

happy together by foxholecourts (1k)

this fic perfectly encapsulates their vibe for me. the back and forth between the two of them is just delightful and exactly how i imagine them to be together, but it's also as equally sappy! i love these two idiots sm <3

watching you watching me by foxholecourts (2k)

ben likes to be watched... 10/10 benaaron characterisation from this author as always.

sweettalker by Anonymous (5k)

smut with a lot of dirty talk about the other arsenal lads. ben is very complex in this- an interesting take on their relationship!

I’m Not In Love by ceraunophilex (1k)

aaron falls in love immediately, ben slowly warms to him. short and sweet.

♡

Jordan Henderson/Trent Alexander-Arnold

Shake Me Into the Night by orphan_account (17k)

always hits me right in the feels. based around liverpool winning the champions league, the writing is so detailed and amazing!!

♡

Jude Bellingham/Reece James

the sun and the rainfall by ohsusie (series, 6k)

jude asks reece about some of the rumours surrounding him to help him broach a sensitive topic of his own. reece gives him some guidence. they're so sweet in this!

♡

Dele Alli/Eric Dier

In This World Of Ours by dierdele (53k)

the classic deledier best friends to lovers 2018 world cup get-together fic. you can't beat it, literally so cute oml.

♡

Marcus Rashford/Jesse Lingard

both your hands in the holes of my sweater by yvenger (jjjat3am) (3k)

this one is so much fun hehe, the ~2018 man u squad if they were a sunday league team where jesse's very confident and marcus has a huge crush on him. love the inner dialogue so, so much. ending is super cute!!

i can feel that body shake by princessrosberg (3k)

an england nt night out leads to them getting together and their first time! jesse and marcus characterisations are on point, esp the way they talk to each other <3

♡

Harry Kane/Gareth Southgate

All Good Things... by orphan_account (12k)

their established relationship is so cute in this! post-2018 wc and preparing for the euros, england team banter is perfect.

wished by orphan_account (23k)

gareth is harry's p.e teacher at school. listen… no comment... there's a reason it's the most kudos-ed southkane fic

♡

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 7

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 16.8k 

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.  

A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.

The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.

"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.

Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."

Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."

"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.

Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."

"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'

Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."

"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.

Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."

Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."

"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"

Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."

"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."

Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.

The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.

Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.

When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.

She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.

"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.

She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.

About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.

The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.

She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.

She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.

When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.

She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.

But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.

Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.

Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.

"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.

She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.

She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.

So much for wanting things to go back to normal.

She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.

She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.

That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.

Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.

"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.

Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."

"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.

He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"

She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"

He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."

Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.

When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.

Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.

She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.

Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.

After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:

I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found

Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."

Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.

That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.

She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.

Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."

Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"

Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."

Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."

"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."

Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"

A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."

Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."

"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."

"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."

Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"

"Love you too, bye!"

The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.

But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.

What would she do without him?

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.

But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.

Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.

"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.

"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."

Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"

"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.

Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"

Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"

"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."

Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."

Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.

"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."

"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.

"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"

Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."

But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."

Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.

She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.

"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."

"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."

Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."

Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."

"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.

Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."

"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."

Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."

"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."

Fucking hell.

Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.

So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.

Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.

The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.

She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.

Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.

"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.

What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"

She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.

Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.

"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.

"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.

But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.

The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."

Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"

He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"

"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."

Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."

When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.

He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.

He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.

Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."

That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.

They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.

"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."

Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."

"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.

"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.

His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.

The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.

Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.

When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.

"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.

"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.

The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"

The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"

"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.

Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."

Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."

The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.

"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.

She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."

Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.

Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."

Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."

Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."

Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.

Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.

"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."

Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."

She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.

So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."

The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."

She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.

Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.

Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."

"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.

The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."

She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.

"Actually, can you help me?"

Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"

"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."

Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."

Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.

"Yes, please."

A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.

She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.

He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."

His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.

But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.

"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.

He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"

She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.

It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.

Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"

"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.

They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.

Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."

He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."

Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.

They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.

She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.

On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.

"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.

"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?

"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."

His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."

Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.

When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.

Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.

"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.

Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.

One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.

Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.

So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.

"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."

"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.

Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.

"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.

No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.

Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"

Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."

"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"

"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.

Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.

By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.

They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.

For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.

That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.

She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.

Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.

From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.

She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.

Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.

"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.

"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."

Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"

"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.

The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.

It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.

"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.

Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."

Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."

But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.

"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.

Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."

They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.

It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy

It's two thousand and thirteen

So, baby, take a walk with me

Past flying cars and time machines

There's magic like you won't believe

Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."

Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."

"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.

"Ella." He replied sternly.

"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."

"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.

The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"

"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.

Matt frowned, "I do not."

"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."

That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."

Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."

Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."

Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.

"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."

"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.

"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."

They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.

"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.

Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.

She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.

That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.

He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.

(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx

Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.

Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.

The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.

Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.

Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."

Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.

He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.

(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx

(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx

(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx

The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.

By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.

When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"

He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"

Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."

"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.

Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.

"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.

She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."

"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."

"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.

"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."

"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."

He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."

It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.

Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.

Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.

A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.

Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.

The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.

"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.

"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."

She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."

He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.

"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.

She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.

"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.

She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.

"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.

It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.

She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.

She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."

Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"

Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.

"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.

Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.

She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."

Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.

"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.

Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.

Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.

His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."

Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.

Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.

That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.

Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.

His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.

"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.

She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.

It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.

A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."

The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.

"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.

She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."

That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"

Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."

"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.

Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.

Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.

She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.

It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.

She deserved so much better.

He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.

He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.

Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.

He felt so helpless.

After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.

Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.

He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.

The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.

Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.

He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.

She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.

"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."

Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.

Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.

Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.

Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.

Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.

Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"

A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."

A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."

He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."

Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."

Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."

"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.

"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"

The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."

He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.

Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.

"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.

Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"

"Maybe..."

She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.

They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."

She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."

He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.

It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.

She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.

"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."

It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.

Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.

His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.

He was a life saver, truly.

She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.

He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.

"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.

Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."

Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.

"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.

Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.

"Are you feeling better?"

It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.

"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.

But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.

She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."

"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."

Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."

"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."

He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."

That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"

Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."

It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that—even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."

She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."

Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."

Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.

"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."

She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.

They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.

Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.

Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.

She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.

He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.

Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.

He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.

She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.

"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.

The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.

Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.

"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.

She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.

"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."

There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.

"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."

He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."

She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."

Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.

Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.

The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."

She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."

He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.

Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."

"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.

In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."

Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."

"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.

"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.

But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."

He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."

"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."

"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."

She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.

After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"

She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."

"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.

"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"

"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."

"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.

"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.

Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.

She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.

She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.

Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.

She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.

Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.

She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.

Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.

He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.

She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."

He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.

They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."

Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.

Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.

His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."

She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."

They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.

She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.

"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.

"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."

A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."

She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"

"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."

Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."

"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."

"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."

Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"

She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.

He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."

Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.

"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."

"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.

He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.

He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.

"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.

Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."

She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.

"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"

He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."

He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.

Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.

He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.

Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."

"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"

She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."

"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.

He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"

She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.

Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."

"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.

She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.

Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.

She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31 @nikisfwn​ @funniestpersoninnyc​ @andrearroe​ @justacaliforniandreamer​ @alexturnersgf69​

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Three (Part 4)

My face feels very warm and I want to go outside for air. I ask Liam if he will get me a glass of icy water at the bar, and I go down the steps into the back entrance of the pub. My ears are ringing from all the noise inside, but the quiet and the cool air outside is nice. I go around to the side of the building where I know there are picnic benches and I sit on one of them and wait for Liam. My body is still vibrating with adrenaline. 

I’m not alone outside, as a couple of the other picnic benches are occupied by people using this area as a beer garden, merrily chatting and drinking from pint glasses from the pub. There is a nice atmosphere and I am peacefully enjoying it until I see something that makes me seize up with anxiety. 

It’s the girl with the red hair from that house. She’s not very close to me, but she’s distinctive looking so I know for sure that it’s her. She’s chatting and laughing at a bench with a group of her friends. I haven’t thought about the house in the dunes since I found it almost a week ago. It feels like a dream now, some blurry vision or something from my imagination, but seeing her again makes it all real. I feel a horrible pit in my stomach, remembering guiltily that I stood in a patch of long grass and spied on her for reasons that were beyond explanation. 

Moments later I spot him too; the boy who got her the lighter. He’s telling a story I think. I can’t hear what he’s saying, only that his voice is deep, and everyone finds him very funny. I wonder in horror if any of those people had been inside the pub when Liam and I were doing our duet. The thought of that makes me want to vomit. I will the earth to tear open a gaping chasm and swallow me into it, for being gone from this world would be better than the humiliation I would feel if that boy had seen me sing Elton John into a karaoke microphone. 

The boy who is sitting next to him turns his head and says something, and I’m hit with a wave of recognition and confusion. Hang on, Is that Shane?

“Here’s your water.” Liam is back. I tear my eyes away from the group of friends and thank him. I am thrown. Are these the friends Shane said he was staying with? I wonder. Did I somehow spy on the one house on this beach where I know somebody who’s staying there?  The feeling of the cold glass against my palm seems to ground me though, and I think about how a glass of water has never looked so good in that moment. I take a long refreshing drink from it. 

“How are you feeling after that?” Liam wants to know, gesturing towards the pub behind us. 

“Yeah, good.” I say, even though I don’t anymore. “It was so fun.”

“My dad does karaoke night twice a week for the whole holiday season, you know, so if you ever feel like doing it again..”

“Yeah I’ll definitely think about it.”

I try to forget about the other table and look at Liam. He’s actually pretty easy to talk to. We chat about music and our favourite films, he tells me that he played football while he was at school, and I talk about the tennis club I go to. I can’t help but glance over at the other table again though. What is it about those people? Why am I so enthralled by them? I want to shake myself out of it. I force myself to look away, turning my back to them all the way and focus all my attention on Liam. 

 He’s friendly and nice company, and despite myself, eventually I start enjoying spending time with him. As he’s telling me a story about a time he went sailing around Ireland with his dad, I examine his face and decide that he’s very cute. He touches his hair a lot while he talks, and his eyes are so expressive, he seems excited and passionate about the things he’s telling me. Maybe it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if we liked each other. 

“Where is your scar from?” I ask him, and I reach out without thinking and touch the little mark above his eyebrow. 

“A fight at school.” He says seriously. “I had to wrestle a knife out of this lad’s hand and it knicked my eyebrow.”

“Wait, what?” I say, astonished. 

“No, I’m joking. I fell off my bicycle when I was nine. I pulled the front brakes too hard and I flew right over the handlebars. Scraped my face on the curb.”

I gasp “I really believed you for a second about the knife! But still, I’m sorry that you had a bike accident, it sounds really bad.”

“Nobody bothered to send me to the hospital either.” He continues “I didn’t get stitches so that’s why the scar is still so obvious… Sorry Evie, I wish I had a better war story for you.”

“Yeah I would keep telling people the first one instead, it sounds way better.”

“Way more exciting, isn’t it?” He laughs, and then suddenly his face softens and I feel conscious of him watching me. “You’re so pretty.” 

I’m stunned. “Huh?”

“Has nobody told you before? I think you’re really really pretty.”

I blush. “Thank you.” It feels very out of the blue to me, but I suppose I’m  flattered. 

“You don’t have a boyfriend or anything, do you?” Usually I will lie and tell boys that I do, but for some reason this time I decide to be honest and I shake my head no. 

He smiles nervously. “Ah.. good. I was just thinking I’d ask.” I can see his hands are trembling slightly and I feel a surge of empathy. He looks down at them. “I was wondering if you’d want to like, go for a walk on the beach with me? Like maybe get away from the crowds here?”

I swallow hard and wipe my sweaty palms on my shorts, understanding what he’s asking. He doesn’t want to walk, he wants to go somewhere quiet so he can kiss me. Habit forces me to open my mouth and ready myself to say no; I’m too scared. Then I think about what Kelly would say if she found out about this and I know that I can’t turn him down. I don’t answer him, but I nod my head, and then he takes my hand and we walk out into the darkness together. 

Prev // Next

[letterstoear]

Single bunnies' assortment!

In my new keychain line, it features bunny plushies: Single and happy, single and a hopeless romantic, as well as single and depressed. I thought it would be fun to sort the different Twisted Wonderland characters into the three categories.

Check out my shop here: Shop — Letters to Ear (squarespace.com)

Please note that this is all very delusional late-night shenanigans.

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts: Single and a hopeless romantic

Honestly this boy probably found his first romance novel at the library while studying and then got hooked on reading romance novels. Most likely to read them in secret from embarrassment. So, yeah that’s how Riddle became single and a hopeless romantic. 

Deuce Spade: Single and a hopeless romantic

Similar to Riddle, Deuce is someone who most likely has a soft spot for romance. And that’s all I have to say about him. There’s really nothing else. 

Ace Trappola: Single and happy

Out of all the main cast he’s the only one who to have had a canon girlfriend and he’s never been happier as a single lad. I remember he mentioned in his SSR story he didn’t like how they didn’t have much in common and he ended up ghosting her in the end. Since that day, he’s never gotten into another relationship. Ace is definitely single and happy. 

Trey Clover: Single and happy

I just don’t think he cares much for romance. Man screams like he’s more focused on keeping the dorm intact and baking than romance. Another one into the basket. 

Cater Diamond: Single and depressed

Let’s be honest, the majority of the fandom ignored Cater for the new SSR card of Crowly. He’s spending this year alone and depressed. Certified single and depressed. 

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar: Single and happy

You can make the argument for being single and depressed, but he’s probably like Trey and just doesn’t care for romance. Like he’s probably seen enough of it from his older brother. Plus, he might be more annoyed from Cheka. Like I can totally see Cheka giving Leona a handmade Valentines Day card and everything and Leona is just like nope. 

Ruggie Bucchi: Single and happy

Holiday season means more work; more work equals money. So, it’s a win-win situation for Ruggie. Also, once the holidays end, everything that was Valentine’s Day themed, is on sale. So, cheap food and so on. 

Jack Howl: Single and a hopeless romantic

Jack has mentioned he’s waiting for his future mate. Which makes him a certified single and a hopeless romantic. Side note, but it’s really cute to think about how Jack is just waiting all excitedly for his mate. 

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto: Single and happy

Someone who is also using the holiday for money reasons. Grabbing all those hopeless romantics together into one room just to collect their money. Probably has the Mostro Lounge all decked out for the holiday season. Love is the furthest thing from his mind. 

Jade Leech: Single and a hopeless romantic

Seeing as Jade does like to experience different customs from a variety of cultures, he’s probably excited. Can see him daydreaming about being with a significant other for the holidays in the middle of his work shift. 

Floyd Leech: Single and depressed

Because he has to work for the busy holiday season he’s probably depressed and annoyed. Like this boy is begging to go out and not work. He just wants to be a part of your world this holiday. 

Scarabia

Kalim Al Asim: Single and happy

He’s just happy to celebrate the holidays. Just another excuse to throw a banquet with a parade. Boy is going all out to celebrate. 

Jamil Viper: Single and depressed

Probably knows that every year Kalim throws a big feast and has to work to make everything perfect. Stressed out and depressed. Give this man a break. 

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit: Single and depressed

Depressed because he wasn’t voted for the top heart throb position. Outvoted by like 1 vote. Other than that, I could also see if Vil has a hopeless romantic side to him as well. Like he’s daydreaming of someone to love him as he is and all that jazz. However, he knows it’s not his reality which makes him sad all over again. 

Rook Hunt: Single and a hopeless romantic

Did we really have any doubts he was going into this team? Rook is the definition of a hopeless romantic. Could also see it if he was the kind of person whose way more into the chase than actually being with his partner. Rook most likely voted for Neige too. 

Epel Felmier: Single and a hopeless romantic

Has thought about romance at least a few times. Other than thought it’s probably not on his mind unless someone brings it up. When it is brought up, I can totally see him wanting a more comforting life where it’s all fluffy. 

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud: Single and happy

He’s depressed for sure, but not because of love so he’s single and happy. There’re so many themed gacha game events which causes Idia to spend his time on them. Idia probably spends his Valentines Day with Ortho making cards or something. 

Ortho Shroud: Happy

He’s just a little happy younger brother spending the holiday with his big bro. Has the whole day planned but is waiting for Idia to come out of his room. 

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia: All three of them wrapped into one

But Malleus is definitely single and ready to mingle. 

Lilia Vanrouge: Single and happy

Just spends his day with his boys spreading some good ol love to his sons. Love comes in all different forms after all. If anything, he might have a pinch of depression. Some angst where he doesn't believe he deserves any of the love he receives or something like that. 

Sebek Zigvolt: Single and happy as long as Malleus is single

Nah, I’m just joking for the most part. To me Sebek’s love is a mix of respect and friendship. Especially towards Silver for friendship, spends his Valentines Day eating sweets. You know the boy has a big, sweet tooth and is a big eater. 

Silver: Single and happy

Same with Lilia, it’s family love for him. He adores his father, Malleus and Sebek. Makes each and every one of them a handmade card. Definitely tells them he loves them more than twenty times on Valentines Day. 

[knownangels]

jlb + mgc

wc: 5.3k

It's nearly midnight when he realizes it.

Their flat is sparsely decorated, but as the thought comes to him (a sudden zip of clarity right through his otherwise fuzzy-tired brain, the movie’s shit after all) Maran nearly upends the cute potted plant and several knick-knacks on the coffee table.

“‘Ey!���Benji yelps. His reflexes are somehow quick enough to keep Maran mostly on the couch as he tosses himself upright and catch the little wooden bobble before it hits the floor and, most likely, snaps. “S’from Saha.”

Maran ignores him, because the realization has coalesced into something nastier. An unfurling anxiety in his chest. A snap of cold, unpleasant fear. 

If I don’t — If I don’t — he thinks. And what follows is yet another barrage; a worst-case scenario slideshow, mightwhatifmaybe twisted into ugly reality. Or, as real as it gets in his head. 

Maran sits even straighter and then curves forward with a groan. “Oh, shit.”

Instead of winding an arm around his shoulders and offering a word of comfort, Benji kicks at Maran’s legs to make room again on the couch. They’d been a bit tangled up but comfortable. His best friend seems to be prioritizing the return of that specific comfort. Rather than…

Palm flat over his chest, Maran groans again. “M’gonna have a heart attack.” 

“Shuddup.” Benji drawls, socked foot wiggling under Maran’s thigh for the warmth. “Course you fuckin’ start up during the only good part of this shit.”

“Benji, this is serious.”

In the blue light of the living room, technicolors from their movie washing little flashing patterns over his face, Benji’s dark eyes look pretty. And the sight of them is so familiarly comforting that Maran slumps a bit, feels himself relax. Not all the way. Almost. 

Benji’s sleepy gaze tracks around his face for a second — searching — before it narrows.

“Prick.”

“Dickhead.” Maran seethes back, nudging his legsoff the couch. “I’m having a crisis.” 

“Bit more quietly, yeah?” Benji tilts his head at the screen once more. There’s a nasty little curl to his mouth. “Said this part—“

They’ve seen this movie about a hundred times. It’s Thursday, third week of the month, and that’s their night — Benji keeps a busy schedule with studies and his on-campus job, and Maran’s got his own gig no matter how ill-paying or illegal). Besides being flatmates, they’re rarely in it at the same time. Sometimes the only times they see each other for a week are if they both end up at the lads’ place.

Thinking about it makes Maran feel a bit bitter for the good ol’ days. When summers felt like a proper holiday, schedules didn’t have to be worked around. 

Maran leans forward abruptly and turns the television off. Benji blinks at it. Then he sighs. Then he digs his heel beneath Maran’s knee until it hurts.

“Well? Out with it, please.”

“Haven’ttakenBenoutyet!” Maran pulls his face from his hands to blurt.

They stare at one another. He no longer feels as though his heart’s going to explode from his chest, leave a little smoking hole. But it hurts. It hurts, still. 

“You go out for food all the time.” Benji says. His brow is knit. “And you make him go to the skate park with you. And that time you wanted to go to the trampoline place. And the pool, yeah? Movies—“

“That was before.” Maran insists. 

Before: soft touches under an elbow or to the small of his back that made him pause. An unpracticed but lovely smile across a loud party. The excited little snap of familiarity when their eyes met and passed a wordless joke.Before Maran even knew that it could feel like that. A stomach’s tight wind. The scratch of stubble on his neck, or how nice it was to fit together at the same height, or waking up to arms wound around his stomach and—

“That was before.” He repeats. “It didn’t count. Plus, those aren’t always dates.”

From the corner of his eye, he notices Benji’s face wash with confusion. 

“But…they are, sometimes?”Now it’s his turn to sit upright. “So what makes — well, ok. So say—“

“We’re gettin’ off topic.” Maran declares, standing from the couch to put hands on his hips. “You’re s’posed to keep me in check and here I am being the world’s worst boyfriend?”

“You’re the worst of a lotta things.” Benji says wryly. “M’sorry if I can’t keep track of ‘em all.”

Maran smacks his fist into his palm, ignoring the dig (quite the bigger person move, if he’s asked, especially with that snide victorious grin settling over Benji how it is). 

“Gotta make up for it.” He says, already planning. “Gotta be the best date ever—“

“Said that about, aw. Fuck. Whas’her name, started with a J? Took her to that green space on a hike or whatever.” Benji snickers. “And then you turn up back at ours with a leech on your arse and no girl in sight?” 

Maran blinks several times then goes dead in the face, hands outstretched into claws. Benji screeches and kicks at him, arms squeezed tight to his sides, but it’s too late. Maran will not take disrespect and leave a survivor.

* 

Right on the dot, quarter past five, Ben’s bedroom door swings open. He doesn’t seem shocked to find Maran sat on the edge of his messy bed; it’s where he usually is, every Tuesday and Thursday at exactly this time. 

“You get into caffeine?”

“No.” Maran replies immediately. He glances down at his wringing hands, a tapping foot. “Hm. No.”

Ben, from where he’s paused in the doorway, laughs. It makes Maran’s cheeks flood a little, although it’s no different or more suggestive than it usually is. It’s just — it’s a very nice sound, is all. He’s always shocked to pull it as often as he does. Pleasantly, sure. Pleasantly shocked. Shocked all the same.

“Relax.” Ben meanders slow across the room, shucking his bag off his shoulder to thump loudly to the floor. He leans a bit as he slips between Maran’s knees, parting them to accommodate. “I believe you.”

The flush gets warmer. Warm still when Ben cups his cheeks and tilts his face up for a slow, soft kiss. 

When it ends, Maran blinks up at him with heavy lids that almost refuse to open again. 

“You gonna ask me if I h-had a good day?” 

Maran cannot look away from the pink flush around his mouth, up his cheeks. “Huh?” 

Ben shakes him a little, then shoves him backwards onto the bed with a palm to the forehead. “Precious. Precious fuckin’ baby.” 

Maran sits up on his elbows. He’s trying to remember what he was here for, sitting there eagerly (anxiously) waiting to announce. Except. Ben’s doing his post-class declothing. Boots kicked off, shirt unbuttoned, jeans snapped to scratch below his stomach, belt shhhfing as it’s pulled half out of the waistband — 

Maran cannot look away. 

“Y-you get your brain eaten today or what?” Ben teases, in front of him once more. He sounds pleased though, a bit shy; he’s noticed the close-watch perusal. He’s enjoying the attention. 

“You look nice.” Maran says, slipping hands up the back of his thighs. His fingers brush soft, warm skin either side of his spine (curved a bit, from sitting in the lab stools for several hours) and dig in enough that Ben makes a noise and stumbles forward. “Keep that on?” 

Ben’s eyebrows quirk towards the ceiling, a nasty smirk lifting his whole face. “Oh, for like—?”

“I thought,” Maran starts, and then bites his lip. 

The sentence is there, right on the tip of his tongue, but Ben’s looking at him. Eyes soft, cheeks also a little warm, hands making a gentle sweep down and up Maran’s skull. He loses his train of thought entirely. But he wants those words out. He wants it to be special. 

He wants.

Maran swallows and tucks his face into the familiar, clean smell of laundry. Ben doesn’t usually wear undershirts, so each side of his button up parts at each junction. Maran’s nose tucks into the folds of fabric, finds skin. He presses closer, arms tightening. 

“I thought we could go on a date.” Maran says. Except he isn’t sure if that’s loud enough. If he’s heard. And there are certain things that he’s needed Ben to hear. That he’d like to take them on a good, proper first date is one of them. There are more serious things he’d like to say — scary ones — but here seems a good start. If he can fucking get it out. He’s never had trouble like this before. Or, maybe people had been kind to lie otherwise.

“I mean.” Maran lifts his face and tries for definitive. “We’re going on a date, so leave that, yeah? You look nice.” 

Ben stares down at him.

*

By the time they’ve made their way down to the lot, most of that usual smarmy confidence Maran’s such a fan of has returned. He gets crowded up against the stairwell door, hand wound around th back of his neck for the kiss Ben’s eager energy insists on. And he’s stopped again at the car, pinned against the drivers side door by the hips. Ben does his best to make a proper mess of his neck. 

When Maran flattens hands to his chest, he really does mean to push him gently away. Just enough to breathe a second, collect his thoughts — he’s always swimming in them, with Ben this close. Everything goes nice and soft and fuzzy. 

“Hold on—“ he tries, but he’s laughing and Ben knows he doesn’t mean it fully, so teeth return to his neck after a brief pause. He gasps, back arching off the window when five firm fingers press into the valley of his spine. They roam a bit further, both hands greedy over either side of his tailbone; Maran tips his head back and makes eye contact with the camera attached to the light pole above them. 

The sky above is muddy grey, washed light with the noon sun fighting to come out. It’s not ideal weather for what Maran has planned, and it’s not ideal that there’s a little red light blinking, but he — 

Maran shivers then, eyes fluttering at the black lens. He imagines briefly what it must look like, from that perspective. Arms tight over broad shoulders, hanging on deliriously, Ben’s messy hair beneath his fingers — holding him where he is as much as trying to reign it all in a bit. 

“Hold on.” Maran tries again, throat bobbing with a swallow. He sounds serious this time. He is serious this time; Ben relents immediately. Not without leaving a wet, noisy kiss right to the center of his throat. And he doesn’t step back all the way, not cold turkey. They haven’t had long to establish those sorts of things, the important things he calls them, but Ben knows him well enough by now. Well enough that an immediate retreat isn’t what Maran needs, even if he’s asking for space. 

It feels better to breathe hard together, chests touching as well as hips (and lower, he tries very hard not to think about). 

“This could be the d-date.” Ben tries, nose tucking briefly to Maran’s jaw before he slinks a separation of a few centimeters between their bodies. His foot is still firmly between Maran’s, keeping them close. 

“Huh?”

Ben laughs. He jerks his head towards the backseat, tongue tucked between his teeth. “I’m pretty cheap. Push some of that onto the floor and we’re in b-business.” 

Maran’s fuzzy thoughts clear up a bit at his tone; he doesn’t stop to interrogate the joke, though. Ben’s diverting. He knows why. Well. At least a bit. A date isn’t exactly what Ben’s used to, self-admittedly. And that’s part of the reason— 

“Distractin’ me.” Maran teases, loosening his grip around broad shoulders to rest his wrists loose at the base of Ben’s neck. “You’re so fuckin’ mad I’m not telling you shit.”

Ben scowls at him, dropping the suggestive expression. “I hate surprises.”

Maran nudges him away enough that he can slip into the driver’s side. Technically, he should only ever be a passenger — he’s got no papers, no visa anymore. Matilda had drawn him a little stick figure on a scrap of paper, framed with his name and a nonsense series of numbers. Trust me this is legitimate, had been written in her proper, pretty scrawl underneath. 

Ben doesn’t have to know all that, though. For as much as Maran’s told him, he’s got a temporary permit and he’s up to date on all the paperwork. 

Instead of rounding the car and going in the normal way, Benny crawls across Maran’s lap and the center console. It’s a moment of scuffling and laughter and hands groping places they really don’t have to be, for the whole process of settling into the passenger seat. 

Ben coasts that sneaky hand up his knee as he starts the car, tucking fingers between his thighs. Maran’s eyes go a bit funny, staring straight ahead while that touch moves slowly up and down his jeans seam. 

“You’re going to make me—“

Blond eyebrows snap up. The touch goes higher, palming him properly. “Oh, that right? Already?”

“Crash!” Maran insists, cheeks flaming. His skull falls back against the headrest when the teasing squeeze doesn’t stop. “Ben.”

“You haven’t even s-started the car.” 

He laughs. He doesn’t feel like laughing. He feels like — “I won’t at this rate.” 

“Oh no.” Ben coos, leaning across the console to get properly in his face. Their noses almost brush so Maran glances away, snorting, but he follows. Cranes his neck, lifts up, puts weight on Maran’s thigh to bring their faces together again. His mouth dries up a little. “Oh nooo. That would be so awful. Very very b-bad.”

“Why are you bein’ evil.” Maran whines. The car hums, pleasantly familiar. They’ve fallen asleep under the stars in here. Gone to drive-ins, which Maran is sort of obsessed with. And yeah, like Ben’s trying to get a repeat performance, spent time in the cramped back. More than the soft twist of arousal behind his navel, Maran thinks of the security. The intimacy, the closeness. It’s nice like a messy room. Nice like waking up to fingers stroking his cheek. Nice like a blanket tucked under his legs for a movie, like the last fry handed off with a fond sigh, like — 

“We’re doing a date.” Maran asserts. He snaps back into motion, taking Ben’s wrist and offering his knuckles a parting kiss before squaring him away on his own side of the vehicle. 

Ben looks cute battered like that, eyes wide and lips parted. It makes Maran’s knuckles on the wheel a bit tighter than they ought to be; he drives slower than he might otherwise, thinking of that paper tucked in his wallet and his clammy palms. 

*

When they pull into the grocery store lot, Ben’s huffy about being made to wait in the car.

“I’ll be quick.” Maran promises chipperly, leaning down to peer inside. Ben’s face is contrite. It makes him so cute, so Maran tells him as much. 

“Yes p-p-please.” Icy eyes roll up and away. Ben peers across the heat-shimmering asphalt, arms crossed. “Cigarette counter guy always hits on you.”

Maran barks out a laugh at the absurdity of that. “You’re on something.”

His boyfriend — still a novelty, to even think that title — turns back towards the window. “He does. F-Fucker.”

“Then why you comin’ here? Perfectly good gas station nearby.”

Ben’s mouth twists. “Because I like t-talking about you when I pick up a fresh pack. So he knows.” 

Maran blinks. Imagines that scenario, for second. Maybe: Ben, still sleep-soft and grumpy from realizing he’s run out of smokes, strolls in looking like the asshole he’s about to be. He could ask for specifics, for quotes but it’s more fun imagining what Ben might say. Maybe he compliments Maran. Makes a suggestive, early-morning like reference. Something about having just seeing him. If he outright shares the label they’ve decided on. Maybe he calls Maran boyfriend.

And then, blush returning, Maran imagines he just plainly says: yeah, that guy? I know that guy. We’ve got a date later. We’re together. Me and him. Me and Maran.

Maran swallows. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” 

He goes to turn away, but one step is as far as he gets. Ben snags him by the wrist and pulls. Maran, still a bit in his head with the fantasy scenario of being flaunted, doesn’t expect the strength of it. He stumbles and catches himself against the door. 

Ben leans out of the window, sunglasses pushed down his nose. The way he peers up at Maran, the way his pink mouth pulls up at the corner, the track of shrewd eyes around Maran’s face, then down his neck where his shirt comes away from his chest —

“I’ll m-miss you.” Ben teases. “Be quick.” 

Maran usually stops to chat the nice old woman that works in produce. He usually lingers at the cigarette counter, where he usually pays. Except this time, arms full of an outdoor blanket and food and drinks and a wicker basket, he uses the self-check aisle and tries not to make blushing eye contact with the camera. 

When he returns to the car, Ben’s pushed the passenger seat back. He’s dozing, even though Maran had been quick. The summer sun barely cuts into the interior, but enough of it slices across his cheek. When he hears Maran approaching, the bags’ rustling giving it away, he turns his face. 

Maran pauses for just a second when their eyes slide together. Then he grins and tries to shake off the too-big shivery feeling that tingles up his scalp. 

“No peeking.” He insists. 

Ben grins. 

*

He’s got an old plaid scarf from the early spring still tucked in the side door. He gestures for it and, as they pull out of the lot, instructs Benny to use it like a blindfold.

“Oh.” Ben breathes. Maran has his eyes on the road, or else he’d see the strange, vulnerable shift of his expression. “Oh, it’s that kind of d-date, huh?”

Maran laughs, even if that bubble of anxiety is working its way back up his core. At the next red light, he watches Ben fix it around his eyes. His pale hands come up in a tada gesture once he’s done. And Maran has to focus on driving again, knuckles white on the wheel— because there is something there, seeing the peek of his suggestive smile. 

And it’s that — a smile. Not a nasty, sneaky grin. No watery, insecure sneer. It’s soft at the edges. There’s a bit of pink to his skin, right at the edge of the scar. Ben’s blushing, and he’s smiling a real one because he’s having fun and he feels— and Maran is—

The car swerves. Maran swears, jerks them back into the center of the lane. 

“Jesus.” Ben laughs, his hand shot out to grab Maran’s knee. “What the fuck?”

“Cut off!” Maran lies, giggling high and tight. “Oh, shit. Some fucker — uh. Wow. Asshole!” 

*

The park’s gravel drive crunches under tire as they pull up the serpentine path. Windows down, fresh summer air flowing and fresh. Ben taps fingers to the tune of the song on the radio, a steady rhythm on Maran’s knee that fulfills his itchy need to fidget by proxy. 

“Are we out in the w-woods?” Ben asks, head tilting towards the window.

“A little,” Maran acquiesces. 

“I won’t hike.”

“You don’t have to hike.”

“I won’t do it.”

Maran puts the car in park and then leans across to yank a strand of blond hair chastisingly. “You don’t have to, Ben, c’mon. It’s only a short walk.”

“How short?” 

“Ten minutes, maybe.”

Ben drops his head back with a groan, as if Maran has just admitted to sentencing him to walk the fucking plank. 

Dramatic, he thinks fondly. His touch slips down over Ben’s scarf-covered cheekbone, fingers curling under his scratchy jaw.

“I’m going to make you carry everything too.”

“What is this?  A date, or some fucked up labor m-march?” Ben leans closer into where he figures Maran must be, only slightly off the mark. It’s cute how his focus is a bit to Maran’s left. “You t-taking me out in the woods to like, dig my own grave or something?”

“Ben.”

There’s a beat of silence. “That’s kind of hot, actually, like— the d-danger—“

“Ben.” Maran laughs. He twists the keys off and drops them into Benny’s lap with a shake of his head. 

*

Maran leads him to the quiet little glade he and Lark had found, last time they’d been out this way. It’s just shy from the path — only five minutes into a random direction. There’s still an abandoned red glove marking the way. 

(“She won’t miss it.” Lark had promised him when he’d stuck it on the branch. “She’s got so many pairs of gloves she won’t even notice it’s gone.”)

Ben’s confidence and easy enjoyment of their afternoon drops slightly. The energy cuts through the air like something palpable, touching cool to the nape of Maran’s neck. He’s been made to stand, sighing and grumbling impatiently, while Maran sets up the contents of their mini feast on the blanket. 

“Ok, you fuckin’ prick. You can take it off now.” 

“You’re going to be naked, right?”

Maran drops onto the blanket with a snort. “For fuck’s sake— just take it off, Ben.”

Ben paws at the back of his head. “Alright, fine. But just because you sound hot making demands—“ 

He squints against the sunlight, adjusting with a silly one-eyed squint that makes Maran feel like his face is going to split in half. He’s facing just off to the side, their little picnic out of sight, so Maran has the pleasure of watching his expression shift as he turns and notices. 

“Oh.”

He tries not to let that tone and the flat look on Ben’s face get to him. Instead he spreads his arm invitingly. 

“What’s this for?” Ben asks. His boot nudges the blanket’s edge.

“Customary to picnics, as I understand it.” Maran says primly. He’s getting more and more anxious the longer Ben looks like that. Not — not softly amused, anymore, but — there’s no nice curve to his mouth. No sparkle of something to his gaze. Maran swallows. 

“Um. Couldn’t find the brand you like.” He reaches for the six pack behind him and sets it next to the plastic platter of food. It’s cheap — he doesn’t make fancy cheese money. Groceries in the States were a fucking scam. “The website says this was close in taste? Dunno. All that shit is the same to me. And, um. not sure if you like the fruit so I’ll eat it, but I—“ 

Ben drifts quiet and hare-like closer to the spread of food. Maran doesn’t dare move an inch; he’s afraid to startle. He keeps his arms wrapped around his knees, chin resting between. 

And eventually, Ben settles into an awkward cross-legged slouch across from him. For a spread of time, there’s no sound but the quiet, distant bird-song and ambient noise of the forest. It’s a pleasant day; out here, not even the sounds of the city or the rumble of the highway breaches its protective bubble. 

“This…this wasn’t really what I had in m-mind when you said date.” 

Maran’s heart careens into his stomach. “I—I know it’s lame. I don’t know. I was just thinking…I dunno. We haven’t — we kinda just jumped in, yeah?” He laughs nervously, recalling that blue-tinged night at the pool. “You know. Right in the deep end. Hah. Sorry. We can pack up—“

Ben’s hand shoots out to wrap around his ankle when he pulls it closer, meaning to tuck beneath him and stand. He’s not looking at Maran, but at the six-pack rumbling the blankets between them. 

“How long have you been p-planning this?”

“Not long.” Maran assures. “Last Monday? So it’s no worries, yeah, like if you’d want to go back and do somethin’ else. Watch a movie or —y’know, just hang out like we usually do? I like that.” 

He’s desperate to earn back that easy, comfortable energy. And, horrifyingly, he’s desperate not to be desperate. The collision of those two desires in him is almost a physical thing. Writhing, sort of, inside his chest. 

Is the beer wrong? Are there brown bits on the fruit? Do you like a different brand of biscuits more? Y’think the blanket’s ugly? I sort of just grabbed it becuase the sticker said machine washable, and if its gonna be on the ground — well, we can reuse it for stuff — but if you hate it and this turns out to be a bad time, I don’t know if I can look at it again it’d be too embarrassing—

Ben gets to his knees suddenly, shuffling across. When pale hands cup his face, Maran pretends he can’t feel the shiver to them. 

“You’re going to yap yourself s-sick.” It’s a warm tease, more than a warning.

“Fuck off!” Maran yelps, nudging his hands away shyly. Ben catches him, forces him to look once more. That swell of anxiety melts a little. Or, at least becomes a different kind, with all that attention focused directly on him. He has to shift it. Give himself a break, since Ben doesn’t seem interested.

“I— do you want to see what else I brought?” 

Ben’s eyebrows hitch. But if he’s expecting more flirtatious banter, if he’s about to pull Maran into his lap…well. That would be nice, right? Maran would go, if tugged.

Instead, he fishes into the deep pocket of his hoodie — not his of course, not technically — and retrieves the mint tin he uses to hold needles and thread. He has a couple of them stowed around because tends to forget them. Or lose them. One in Matilda’s car, one in his winter jacket, one in Xavier’s. Even one tucked behind the contents of Ben’s nights that he doubts the other is aware has even been put there. 

“There’s a tree over there by the creek,” Maran starts to explain, threading the needle with muscle memory as he talks. Ben looks only briefly, his focus quickly returning to Maran’s hands. “It’s got, y’know. Oh, I can’t even —” Maran snorts, touching the back of his hand to a warm cheek. “I can’t even say— well. It’s got all those initials, yeah? Like when people carve’em in.” 

Ben makes a face. And he has a moment of delight, to be proven right; Maran pulls the other thing in his pocket out, holding it up for Ben to see. His boyfriend takes it, rubbing the green and brown felt between his fingers. 

“Thought you wouldn’t like that.” Maran teases. “Nerd. Leave the trees alone and all. So I glued that together— I thought I’d like to take you out here when we found that on our hike. Lark and me, I mean.”

Ben’s staring at him. Maran balks a little, biting his lip, then takes his felt crafted tree back and knots the end of the thread. 

“So. I — We can still do that dorky shit, right. Without makin’ that poor tree’s condition worse.” 

Ben lurches forward. His palms smack audibly to Maran’s cheeks; he’s dragged forward into a firm, close-lipped kiss. 

“You should put it in your lab,” Maran gasps when they part, only for the rest of the sentence to be cut off in another. He gets lost in it a bit, Ben’s thumbs digging into his cheeks to urge his mouth open. Ben shifts closer, knees on either side of Maran’s hips. He keeps them upright with an elbow against the ground, careful to keep his fist curled around the needle as not to poke either of them somewhere important.

“So everyone knows what a big fucking dork you are.” Maran teases. His voice trails off in a dry little hitch because Ben chooses then to bury his nose against Maran’s neck. His face feels hot. 

“They’d never let m-me hear the end of it.”

“Your lab partner?” Maran asks. He’s heard about them, an unlikely connection that had started over particularly hard class material. It’d quickly become a fully forged friendship, even if he hesitated to call it that — all his secretive, snarky fondness. 

Ben nods, but it seems more like an excuse to rub his face there. 

“Well, it is kinda silly.” Maran says. “Kinda kindergarten.” 

Ben pulls away slowly to look at him. He’s lovely under the green tinged forest light, especially with flushed cheeks. Quite proud of himself, he swipes a hand up and down the curve of Ben’s spine. 

“I felt bad when I realized we hadn’t done this yet. Like. Gone on a proper one. And I wanted it — I want it to be special, I suppose.” Maran beams up at him. “You deserve that.” 

A passing beat of silence; the birds overhead, the creek in the distance burbling, a barking dog even further no doubt accompanying its owner on their own trek. Then Ben kisses him firmly once more. 

“Show me how to?”

Maran has to take a second to process that question: as Ben asks it, he rearranges himself to prop his head in Maran’s lap, legs stretched out over the picnic blanket. He toes off his boots, kicks them off to the side, and reaches for the needle and thread. 

“Okay.” Maran whispers. He hands the tree over and guides pale, tattooed hands into position. If his own fingers linger, lock between them and squeeze — who could blame him? “D’you like grapes?” 

Ben is a quick learner. He works diligently at the stitches as Maran points where to poke the needle through, and the letters slowly begin to form. The top of his J is a little wonky, but Maran withholds judgment; first time for everything. 

“When I was a kid we didn’t get f-fruit money that often.” Ben recounts. His voice is quiet and slow in concentration, a pleasant cadence that makes Maran sink back a little on his palms. “Always got the green ones, ‘cuz they were cheaper. Hated them.”

“I got the red.” Maran says. He leans over Ben to find the plastic container. 

He cracks it open. He pauses, fingers hovering over the shiny red fruit.

He wants to share how much he liked planning this out. Even if it had him dead nervous at every step over the past week, even if there were times he felt stupid and childish. Even if he imagined worse case responses, just to ready himself in the unlikelihood they’d happen: Ben laughing at him, Ben scoffing, Ben refusing to even tag along in the first place. Worse ones: that he’d sit there, staring blankly as Maran tried his fucking arse off, only to ask why hadn’t he taken them somewhere nice or why hadn’t he asked first, what if he had plans?

He’d liked going to the craft store and finding suitable colors for that felt tree. He’d liked picking out the food assortment, the bubble of anxiety and excitement as he traipsed the grocery aisles, knowing that Ben was only a few paces away waiting for him to return. And he’d like the bright smile in the car, when Ben’s usual hatred for the element of surprise had melted into something sweet and soft, just because Maran was the one delivering it. 

Because he trusted. Because —

“Can I feed ‘em to you?” Maran asks quietly, ignoring the little roll of shameful humiliation that floods his cheeks at a question like that. 

Ben glances up, pink in the face too, and regards him for a moment. There’s a hesitation there — a distrust, almost. Like Maran’s about to laugh and throw them across the clearing, just for cruel casual fun. 

“Yeah,” Ben says instead, his voice just as soft. 

[cantsaythetword]

TickleTober Day 1: Secret

~A/N  - WELCOME TO TICKLECROWBER EVERYONE!!!!! (hehehehe see what I did there)

Our first fic comes from This Anon who asked for a heartstopper fic where Nick's rugby practice leads to the reveal of a tickly secret.

I am preparing this fic in like August lmao (at least, that's the goal) and I am currently finishing up my Europe Trip so if any fics are late then that's why hehe.

But yes! On to the fic!

- Enoy! ~

Tag List: [none]

Masterpost Link 

Tickletober 2023 Masterpost Link

Early season football practice always led to new surprises.

Teammates coming and going, new height and weight differences since before summer break, and realizing just how much of an effect the September holiday break had on everyone's fitness.

But, eventually they all blended into the same pattern. And Charlie had gotten quite used to watching Nick slide around in the mud of the pitch.

It was about 50 minutes in to the session, and there's only so much football Charlie could watch before zoning out. Absentmindedly letting his eyes gaze into the distance, the morning mist clouding the field his boyfriend was practicing on.

Then a squeal.

At the sound of his boyfriend's cry for help, Charlie practically vaulted over the half-height fence surrounding the pitch and sprinted towards the newly-formed crowd.

By the time he made it across the pitch there was a near-solid wall of people. But what is an impenetrable fortress against the love of two men? Ignoring any other input entering his senses, Charlie pushed past the onlookers of the rugby team and stumbled out into the small clearing.

Perhaps he should have listened to the giggling sounds coming from the center before acting so rashly.

"For someone who's a nightmare to get tackled by, you sure go down easy when you're on the receiving end mate." Someone teased from behind Charlie.

So that's what had happened. He thought with a soft smile, as Nick fought off a few pairs of threatening hands.

"Guhuhuys thihis is cheheating!" Nick laughed, feet kicking dirt away from himself as he tried to gain some sort of traction to move away from his attackers.

"Cheating?" One of the boys tickling him scoffed playfully. "S'not our fault you drop like a sack of bricks if a hand brushes past your side!"

"I dohoho nohohot!" Nick denied, though based on the situation he had found himself in all evidence suggested otherwise.

"I don't think even Charlie would take your side right now mate." The boy continued his attack for a few moments before looking over his shoulder at the man in question. "Would you?"

Charlie let out an amused snicker or two, his eyes flickering to the ground and back up again, and shook his head. "I had no idea you were ticklish Nick."

Nick let out a flustered groan, his hands briefly covering his reddening face before being forced back to protecting his stomach with a yelp.

"It's cute." Charlie laughed a little, crouching down next to his boyfriend and running a few fingers over Nick's neck.

"Chahahar!" Nick squealed, scrunching his shoulders. "Nohot you toohoo!"

"What? Does it tickle?"

"Chahahar!"

"Alright lads," One of the older guys chuckled, breaking up the party. "I reckon we'd better get back to practice."

There were a few murmurs of agreement, and some whines of complaint, but soon enough the boys dispersed back into their positions.

Nick however, was left to giggle his way to recovery on the floor.

"Don't worry." Charlie grinned into Nick's ear.

The boy shivered with a giggle. "Chahar..."

"Your secret's safe with me."