#others have stated my gripes better

[idiopathicsmile]

there is a level where i'm delighted that Fall Out Boy wrote a continuation of We Didn't Start the Fire. both because it exists, and because more songs should have sequels.

the meanest thing i can say about it is that the nicest thing i can say about it is that it exists.

[discordantwritings]

Taken Back (Crocodile x Reader)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MDNI, fem afab! Reader (reader is referred to as girl), degradation, oral sex, facefucking, clothed sex/ dry humping, idk what the nice tag for getting off on a shoe is

WC: 1.9k

Summary: Your old boss is out of prison and back in action. You know he doesn’t like loose ends so you make a play to kill him before he can kill you. Things turn out differently than you plan.

Notes: I am not sure if this is what the requester wanted but my mind went to places that I couldn’t stop and I hope they like it!

Tagging: @keiva1000

Sword griped tight you wait for the lackey pirates to pass as you sneak further into Karai Bari island. Sir Crocodile’s wanted poster weighs heavy in your pocket as you mentally run through your plan once again.

Get into his office. Kill him or die in the process. Finally be free one way or the other.

Shitty plan, but it’s the best you’ve got.

Ever since you heard the news that Crocodile had escaped from Impel Down you knew you had to do this. You knew he didn’t like loose ends. You knew him well, he was your old boss after all.

For years you had worked for Baroque Works, a special agent directly under Sir Crocodile’s rule. You would go so far to say you had a decent relationship with him, as decent a relationship as Crocodile could have. You appreciated his efficiency and ruthlessness and he appreciated your obedience and skill.

You were a spy, often away from Alabasta for months at a time, and you had been away when the Straw Hat Pirates had turned the country upside down. When you got back there was nothing left for you, so you had to rebuild your life. It wasn’t easy- but your skills were more than enough to keep you above water.

But then Crocodile broke out.

It was like a knife was hanging over your head held by only a fraying thread. In every dark alley you expect to see him or one of your old coworkers, every night you shove a chair underneath the doorknob so no one can sneak in. Living in fear wasn’t much of a life. So when you caught wind of your old boss’ new hideout you stole yourself a ship and started sailing.

Now you’re here, sneaking through carnival surplus and dodging the gaze of pirate clowns. You’re not sure how exactly Sir Crocodile got in business with Buggy the Clown but you can’t really spare that much thought to that right now. It’s just a fitting backdrop for your quickly declining mental state.

You navigate carefully according to the (thankfully sound) information you bartered for and avoid being spotted as you come up on the door to Sir Crocodile’s office. Instinctually you know it’s his- painted in that signature dark green he loves so much. Sword in one hand, short dagger in the other you seep your haki into the blades. Pitch black weapons ready, you shove open the door and prepare to attack.

Sir Crocodile looks exactly the same. You figured maybe prison would have done some damage to him, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. He was still the same broad, imposing, terrifying man.

A man who was standing in front of his desk facing the door. A man who knew you were coming.

You falter in the door way as he smirks at you. All the adrenaline you were running off of evaporates in an instant as you’re faced with the cruel fact you’d be outsmarted.

You really should have known better.

“It’s been a while.” Sir Crocodile says, absentmindedly polishing his golden hook with a cloth.

“It has.” Is the best response you can come up with.

“You were really thinking of killing me? I really thought you were smarter than that.” The slight disappointment in his voice hurts more than the fact he’s going to kill you.

“I didn’t want to wait around to be killed.” You turn the dagger over in your hand, fighting to keep your willpower strong enough to empower the blade.

“Fair enough.” You feel his eyes slide over your form and you fight not to shrink away. “But what makes you think I want you dead?”

“What?” That wasn’t a question you were ready for.

“I don’t think I stuttered.”

“No- I-“ Your stance shifted, letting your guard down slightly. “I’m a loose end. You don’t like loose ends.”

Silence hangs in the air as he seems to contemplate that answer. “That is true. But why did you never think I’d want you working for me again?”

…

Admittedly, that thought never crossed your mind. You were caught up in the countless ruthless slaughters you had seen at his hand and hook. Never did you think that you could come back, that there was room for you to come back.

And now you’ve probably destroyed that chance.

“I clearly had a lapse in judgement.”

“Clearly.” Sir Crocodile pushes himself off his desk and walks over to you and you drop your now useless blades to your side, willpower having run out long ago. “If it wasn’t me this whole gambit probably would have worked. It was good to know you still had all your connections and skills. And no one noticed you sneaking around.”

“You did teach me well.” You admit as he stalks over to you.

“That’s why I’m not going to kill you.” Crocodile is standing only a foot from you now, grey eyes bearing down on you. “I’m going to take you back.”

A confusing rush of emotions swirl in your head as you process the fact that you’re not actually going to die and actually just got your job back. “Thank you sir.”

“You will have to work very, very hard to make up for this though. You did think about killing me.” He saunters back over to his desk, taking a seat behind it.

“Of course.” Of course you would never expect things to just go back to the way they were.

“Double shifts, and of course every bit of information you gained while I was away.”

“I will compile all that information for you.”

“And I expect you to come up with some other ways to get back on my good side. You’ve always been creative.”

He wasn’t implying anything. But the crazy cocktail of emotions, adrenaline, and honestly the way your mind was always a bit in the gutter had you thinking about less conventional ways to get back on his good side. There had never been anything between you two but you can’t deny that you’ve thought about it- I mean who could blame you? He was strong, commanding, and incredibly handsome. And, while you didn’t want to get overly full of yourself, you swear you’d occasionally feel his gaze on you when you weren’t looking.

If you were wrong your head might go back on the chopping block but if you were right then you’d get back in his good graces pretty damn fast.

Worth a shot.

You walked over to his desk, one hand trailing on the dark wood as you walk behind it. “I was wondering, sir, if there was anything I could do for you right now?”

He looks up at you with a raised eyebrow, studying you before answering. “Depends. What are you thinking?”

Of course he was going to make you say it. You can see in his eyes that he knows what you’re implying. He’s playing with you.

You choose not to say anything else, simply letting your knees hit the ground in front of his slightly parted legs. You don’t move after that, choosing to fold your hands in your lap while you wait for him to give you an order.

“Oh well look at this. Seems you are smart.” He shifts in his seat, legs spreading wider. “C’mere.”

You shuffle closer to him, hands quickly finding his belt. You swear you hear him chuckle but you’re too preoccupied with the large bulge growing in his pants as you unzip them. Reaching under his boxers you pull out his half hard length and your mouth waters.

He’s thick- so much so that you know it’ll be a challenge to wrap your mouth around him. But that fact only spurs you on further as you nuzzle up to his base and press sloppy kisses against it. You feel him harden under you and you flatten your tongue and lick a long stripe up from his base to the tip.

“Stop teasing.” His fingers thread through your hair, gripping hard as he pushes your head closer in warning.

You don’t need to be told twice. Taking his tip into your mouth you swirl your tongue around it a few times before slowly taking him further into your mouth. Crocodile groans in appreciation as you sink down, his cock slipping down into your throat until your nose brushes against his pelvis.

“If I’d of known you were so good on your knees I would have hunted you down the second I got out.” His grip pulls you back ever so slightly just so he can shove you back down again. “We’ll just have to make up for lost time.”

It’s thrilling to let yourself be used like this, the drag of his cock in your throat foreign yet intoxicating. You’re already soaked, shifting unconsciously to try and get some friction to relieve the quickly growing ache. Of course Crocodile notices.

“Are you such a whore that you’re getting off on this?” Your eyes flick up and you see him grinning down at you. “Spread your legs.”

You’re confused but you do as he asks, knees going wide and holding onto his thighs for support. It isn’t until you feel the tip of his expensive shoe between your thighs that it all clicks. You grind down on the hard surface and moan around Crocodile’s cock.

“That’s it.” Crocodile mumbles appreciatively above you.

You let him continue to use you, filthy wet noises filling the room as spit drips down your chin and onto his lap. When he’s controlling your head it’s easy to focus your effort on grinding yourself against his shoe. It’s humiliating, degrading, disgusting, and you love it. Your head swims with lust, captured in the feeling of his cock throbbing in your throat.

You know he’s close when his grip tightens on your hair and his hips buck up every time he shoves your face down. If that wasn’t enough signs, his mouth gets looser, filthy words spilling out.

“Fuck you’re too good at this- tight little throat was made for my cock, huh? It’s like you were meant to take me-“ The pulling of your hair brings tears to your eyes, just on the verge of spilling over. “You’re going to swallow what I give you- take my fucking load-“

You feel his cum hit the back of your throat and you do your best to swallow as you’re still held down. You can only swallow so much before you feel him dripping out the side of your mouth and down your chin. Finally he pulls you off and you gasp for air, face still held up for Crocodile to see. His hook comes up to your face and collects the spit and cum on your chin. He presses the cold metal up to your mouth and you lick it up without a thought, earning a groan from Crocodile.

“Such a good girl.” You’re rewarded with him pressing his shoe up to your clit. “Be a good little whore and get off on my shoe.”

It doesn’t take long now that he’s helping, forced to look in his eyes as you moan and shudder, coming undone in a way you never thought you could. As you come down he lets you go and your head falls down to his lap, head light from your orgasm.

“You have certainly proven yourself.” You feel the hook lightly brush through your hair. “And now I’ll never let you go.”

[the-ginger-avenger]

My main gripe about how Ted Lasso handled Jamie and James’s relationship in the second and third season is that, in a way, it contradicts Jamie’s arc from the first season. And I LOVE Jamie’s arc from the first season. I love how sweet Jamie became later in the show, but if I have to pick a Jamie, it would be season one Jamie, hands down. Even with him being an egotistical jerk. Even with him pushing back against everyone who tried to help him. Because that progression he had from the beginning to the end of that season was the most heartfelt, emotionally gut-punching arc for me. And then they ruin it.

Because what is Jamie thanking James for in Mom City? For pushing him to be a better player? Even if you ignore Jamie literally saying in the bonfire episode that his mother is the reason he works so hard, the whole point of his arc in season one was that, while he was a good player, he wasn’t as good as he could be BECAUSE HE WAS THE PLAYER HIS FATHER PUSHED HIM TO BE. Listening to his father, making it all about HIM, acting like he was the only good player on the team, was actually holding him back.  And even in the second season, when Jamie talks to Ted about how James keeps pushing him, it’s about the wrong things: how long he plays, how long he sits on the bench, how many times he scores. Every single thing that goes against what Ted was trying to teach Jamie in the first season. So what is he thanking James for? Why did they have Ted go from trying to get Jamie to stop acting the way James wanted him to act, to telling Jamie that a lot of famous people’s dads were “real pieces of work” as if that was the reason they ended up working so hard or became great (can you imagine if, instead of telling Rebecca that she’s not the only one who could see who Rupert actually was, Ted told her that a lot of strong, independent woman had ex-husbands who were “real pieces of work”? It’s infuriatingly dismissive)? And if he’s thanking James for pushing him to be a better player, then he’s thanking James for pushing him to be the player he was in the first season, which they spent at least eight episodes trying to get Jamie to not be that way??

And I honestly don’t think the writers really knew why he was thanking James. You can compare Jamie’s speech in Mom City with Ted’s speech to his mom. Ted clearly lists out what he’s thanking his mother for and what he’s angry with her about. Which works out great because the audience has never met Dottie before. The show only gave bits and pieces about what she was like, or what her relationship with Ted was like, so they had Ted clearly state why so the audience could understand better.

But not Jamie. He doesn’t have to state why he’s angry with his father because the show went to great lengths to show why. Nothing good or redeeming was mentioned about James once in the entire show. That character had maybe a grand total of ten minutes screen time, during which he threw a shoe at his son, screamed at him, got angry when his son wouldn’t let him and his buddies on the pitch, acted like he was going to hit Jamie, and BEAT UP BEARD. So, no, Jamie didn’t have to explain why he was angry. But then he says “thank you” and doesn’t offer any explanation. The show didn’t even give the audience any reason why Jamie should be thanking his dad. Unless, it’s somehow for pushing him. Which again, goes against his arc in the first season, and, in way, makes that whole scene feel like it was put in there solely for Ted’s benefit.

And they could have developed Jamie and James’s relationship more in the third season. Heck, they could have humanized James more, the same why they did with Rupert (who the show actually kept as a villain, who Rebecca let go of her anger towards but was never told to start a relationship with him again. Honestly, the parallels between Rebecca and Jamie’s characters and yet how differently the show handled their arcs makes me go insane but that’s a rant for some other day), but they chose not to which is honestly baffling considering how much screen time Jamie had in the third season. Nothing about his arc should have felt rushed or tossed in at the last minute.

And it’s so opposite from the end of his arc in the first season that it’s like watching two different shows? Because that season one finale? That pass he made at the end of the game? That decision to not listen to his father? That carried so much more weight and so much more character development than that half-baked forgiveness arc.

Because that pass? That was a CHOICE, man. It wasn’t something he did because he was trying to make amends with his teammates. It wasn’t something he did because his current coach was telling him he had to. He passed the ball, he gave up the chance to score the winning goal and the glory that would come from that, even knowing his dad was in the stands, even knowing how angry James would be, because he knew that was the better choice. He knew that made him a better player. (It was also a very strategic move. He knew Zoreaux, and every other player on Richmond, would never even consider that Jamie would pass the ball. You can even see how Zoreaux was fully focused on Jamie. In way, it’s kinda similar to that decoy play Jamie was so against).

And that moment between Jamie and Ted at the end surpasses any other moment they have because it was actually about Jamie, and everything that followed after (except for bringing Jamie back onto the team in season two) felt like it was more for James’s benefit. But that was Ted reaching out to Jamie, giving him that bit of encouragement and praise that his father should have given him. That was Ted, essentially saying “Hey, your dad is wrong. You did a good job." And it’s a very private moment. It’s not in front of cameras or the press or even in front of other players. Ted himself doesn’t even deliver the note. It’s as far from “mind games” as it possibly could be because the season is already over. Richmond has already lost. It’s a “good job, I’m proud of you, now here’s something my son gave me to protect me that I’m now sharing with you”. It’s something short and simple and quiet from someone who is usually very long-winded and convoluted and loud, and it is so much more sincere because of that and you can see how much that impacted Jamie. 

And wouldn’t it have been more impactful, for both Ted’s arc and Jamie’s arc, if Ted hadn’t told Jamie to forgive James? If Ted had been able to heal enough to take a step back and look at the situation without it getting tangled up in his own trauma and guilt over what happened to his dad? Wouldn't it have been deeper for Ted, who later would learn that yeah, his son might end up leaving him but he still has to try, to have actually seen a situation where a son chooses to not reach out to his father? Wouldn't it have been more profound for Jamie to no longer let his actions be dictated by his anger or his feelings towards his father. He's no longer angry, but he's also no longer striving for his father's approval either. He no longer cares if his father thinks he's weak or not  (kind of like how Rebecca stopped letting her anger and hurt over Rupert control how she reacted, and yet didn't have to start a relationship with him? But again, they paralleled each other and yet they took them in completely different directions). They could have had a moment that had the same amount of emotional weight as that scene in the last season, but no. Apparently we should just forget everything that happened in the first season because James was actually doing his son a favor the entire time.

[a-d-nox]

animal spirit messages: fire and air

this is based on my experience reading from an animal spirit deck, and what i commonly see in the wild (this can be used as a quick reference guide). this is all my experience as it aligns with the card means and what happened surrounding the crossing of a real life animal (not the card) and the period of life/situation.

bee

needing to practice earnestness, praise for being hardworking, team project in coming, needing to work steadily on your project, being sensitive to the environment around you, get in touch with your inner artist, griping too much, becoming too irritable, feeling overworked, needing a mini-vacation/break, etc.

butterfly

a great change is occurring, needing to let things transform, something is in transition, needing to be extra patient and kind right now, needing to let others support you, commit to a new routine, might be feeling fragile, easily frustrated, etc.

crow

needing to be watchful, magic is in the air, a secret is soon to be revealed, seeing the past/present/future in the moment, needing to clear your mind, needing to restructure your diet, needing to becoming grounded again, being hypersensitive, etc.

dragonfly

an illusion is present in your life, find the wonder in your life, needing to keep moving/shifting/changing, something is different from what it truly is, feeling like you can't concentrate on something important, etc.

elephant

something unstoppable is about to happen, you are wise enough to handle what is about to unfold, an auspicious event is about to unfold, good fortune is coming forth, destruction of obstacles, feeling stuck in this moment, the path is becoming clearer, stop creating obstacles for others, needing to trust the universe, get in touch with your self-knowledge, getting too stuck in the details, you may be misunderstanding fate, etc.

hummingbird

needing to remain positive, pay attention to where you can better appreciate the sweetness of life, needing nourishment/rejuvenated, savor the moment, being too pushy/sharp with others, etc.

moth

stop acting impulsively, being too hasty, grass is greener on the other side, being too attracted to the easy solution, being too intrigued by what is shiny and new, having unfinished business/project, impending disappointed, likely facing burnout, etc.

panther

a purge is needed, feeling like you can't stand still anymore, havoc is in coming in your life, about to be living a more fulfilling life, unexpected change, uncomfortable situations coming soon, needing more wisdom in the workplace, needing to be brave, needing to be more productive, stop self-destructive behavior, etc.

like what you read? leave a tip and state what post it is for! please use my "suggest a post topic" button if you want to see more spiritual posts.

click here for the masterlist

© a-d-nox 2024 all rights reserved

[nekropsii]

Small Atomic Ask Bomb!!

I've got a bunch of short asks that I'd hate to spam the dash with individually, so I'll just put 'em here, under the cut!!

Content Warning: Long, Brief Discussions of Racism, Misogyny, Grooming, Brief Mentions of Incest and Pedophilia in Fanfiction.

I've always been a hater, and I honestly don't really think it's a bad thing - not as much as everyone says, at least! I think being kind of a bitch about things that don't matter is good for you, actually. Gets the urge to be angry out in a way that's healthier than just snapping at people in critical moments. I also just think being strong and passionate in your convictions is good for you. Being a hater gives you a spine if you do it right, and it fires a gunshot and scatters people you don't really want to be around. It also has the funny side effect of people thinking I take things way more seriously than I do, just because I'm opinionated and will state said opinions clearly. Big fan of this meme:

This is me.

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I used to peek in there every now and then, just to be nosy. Incest at the top, always. Or straight up pedo shit. Sigh. Looked in the Mituna tag a couple times. CroTuna fucking nightmare hell dimension, always. Or KanTuna, which I also have gripes with. Or KanMiTula, which I have even more gripes with.

It is my understanding that the state of Homestuck fanfiction hasn't gotten much better since the 2010s. Everyone is wrong and no one is normal. Sad.

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I don't know if the mere act of only making Jade and Jake brown out of all the Kids is Racist on its own, per se, but it is kinda silly in the sense that, you know, John and Jade are siblings, so realistically they'd look similar. And... People absolutely do get racist about it. Like, making Jade and Jake uniquely huge, hairy, threatening, and oddly shaped - gangly in the context of Jade, buff as hell in the context of Jake. I've seen some SEVERELY racist drawings where Jade and/or Jake were the only hints of melanin in the Kid line up and... Oh my god. It can get to straight up caricature levels. Watermelons and everything. Just comedically racist.

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Genuinely one of the dumbest fucking things in the world. People will say literally anything. Saying Damara isn't Japanese is on par with calling Porrim a fucking Men's Rights Activist. It's a funny little claim people who are grievously wrong say as a condemnation of the Alpha Trolls for no reason. Why. To look smart? To fit in? Dumbass. Notice how they always have to invent bullshit lies to critique anything instead of just saying things that are true. It really frustrates me how 99.9% of Alpha Troll criticism just isn't at all legitimate when there's some real, genuine issues you could critique. It's stupid horseshit. I hate it so badly.

I don't actually care whether or not someone likes the Alpha Trolls, but at least hate them accurately. Come on.

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@sleepy-apparition

Everyone is so, so quick to turn a blind eye to just how violently misogynistic Kankri is, lmfao. Genuinely, I don't think I've ever seen anyone other than myself bring up the fact that he's an avid Slut-Shamer in the modern day. Other than that, I only really saw older Mituna fanatics bring it up over in the early-mid 2010s, but none of them are around these days.

Genuinely, some of the shit he says is so appalling, lol. Kankri FULLY deserves to get his ass beat.

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I have said this before but I'll say it again - I do not think a Red Romantic Relationship will fix Dirk, or even really help him all that much. Before he gets into a RedRom, he needs some therapy, a break, and mood stabilizers.

However, I'm thoroughly of the opinion that a good BlackRom could work wonders on him, way more than a RedRom would. I think a solid, established Pitch Relationship with, like, Caliborn would be genuinely great for him, both mentally and in a Character Development sense. I hold zero interest in watching Dirk and Jake badly fumble a traditional romantic relationship - that notion is painful to me. ... But I do think I could read a full Intermission's worth of Dirk and Caliborn fucking around and not get tired of it once. They have a fantastic dynamic. It'd be good for Caliborn, too, I think.

This has been my Dirkuu propaganda bit. Thank you.

Also, the Voyeuristic feel of how people handle his Mental Illness. It makes me uncomfortable.

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True. I don't have any other remarks to make about this, you're just correct. True.

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... Fuckin'... Why, though? What- what's the appeal? There's nothing there. I literally cannot conceive any way in which that would be compelling, and I'd say Hal and Kankri are pretty high up there in the list of Male Homestuck Characters I Enjoy.

People will do anything but pay attention to Female Characters for five minutes. God. Lol.

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It's literally just DaveKat 2. I don't think it even qualifies as a Crack Ship when it's just a variant of The Fandom's Most Darling M/M OTP. It's just a deeply mid RarePair. Crack Ship would be, like, Dirk Strider x Rainbow Dash.

Dirk x RD was a popular Crack Ship, sure, but it's still a Crack Ship on basis of being a Crossover Pairing.

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I can't recall any specific instances of seeing this myself, but I'll believe it. People will do anything except be normal about Vriska. People will fight the war against Vriska on the side of and against Vriska at the same time. People will call her a Huge 8itch but then call her pathetic when she stops being a Huge 8itch.

We love Misogyny, I guess.

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Well, he is based on Tumblr, after all. Particularly how dogshit the politics are on here. Of course he would. He'd do numbers on here, considering his Woke Hate Speech.

It's called Bubblr, by the way. Like, canonically. We do know what it's called.

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It's actually based on the Three Wise Monkeys. You know, that old Japanese Proverb that goes "See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil"? That.

Kurloz is Speak No Evil, Meulin is Hear No Evil, Mituna is See No Evil.

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Great Question. My personal guess is that he's a little too nuanced for a lot of people to be comfortable with handling. He throws out too much surface-level Bigotry that people aren't willing to ignore because it isn't Racism for many to feel comfortable making him their Blorbo. When Dave says the N-Word and talks about how fucking Racist he is and it literally never gets acknowledged or resolved, that's fine and dandy, but god forbid Caliborn be a Misogynist in the funniest way possible AND have that get acknowledged literally constantly as a problem. The fact that Caliborn isn't a Fuckable White 13-Year-Old Twink means none of his crimes are ever forgivable because he's ugly and unshippable, or whatever.

The fact that he's Mentally Disabled doesn't help. People can't fucking STAND IT when a character is Mentally Disabled in a way that isn't Cute and Consumable, much less a character who is Unconsumably Mentally Disabled AND Complicated. It's just not allowed!!

[bluegalaxygirl]

Amnesia (KidKiller X Reader) P7

Plot: After an explosion reader wakes up in a hospital with no memory of the past few years, her parents want to take her home so she can recover and get back to a normal life while the Kid pirates want her back on the ship where she belongs.

Warning: Bad language, Medical stuff, family issues and Violence.

Reader is Female, Poly Relationship, established relationship, Kid X Reader X Killer, Reader is a member of the Kid pirates and is in charge of the money, Budgeting and negotiating the best price.

< Previous part ..... Next part >

You relax a little but keep your eyes on the two just in case, despite them keeping their distance and trying to make you feel safe you still don't trust them. "First I'd like to know exactly what you were told and who told you" Kid speaks up seeming angry about it, you somehow knew his anger isn't directed at you but it still makes you tense up a bit "Kid" Killer sighs shaking his head at his friend who jumps a little noticing he's made you go back to being tense. "It's ok… My parents told me when i woke up. They said i was kidnapped and held for ransom by Pirates when i was 19. They paid the money but I wasn't handed over and i was forced to work for them. I know i have bounty poster for being a part of the crew even if it was against my will. Urm… i think it was a few days ago, they said the pirates got into fight with the marines and there was an explosion, I was arrested but my parents manged to pull some strings so i was free to go and come here… I don't remember any of that though, i just woke up here… I don't even know where here is" You sigh looking over at the window, the world outside was nothing like your home but it wasn't scary, it actually felt better than being home. "Most of that is a lie" Kid scoffs getting angry that your parents would make up something like that but then again you did say they were awful people, Killer nods before shifting a little on the bed to fully face you "Your on Kyuka, an island on the grand line, we had to back track a bit to get some of our crew back and to come see you." Killer states watching as you nod before looking out the window.

You can't believe your on the grand line and you can't believe your parents came out here to get you, it makes you happy that they care enough to come for you. "We did take on a quite a few marine ships and there was an explosion while you were on one of their ships. It had explosives on it and you were steering it away from the Victoria Punk … Our ship, You got knocked into the water along with a few other crew member's and picked up by marines later on." The masked man continues watching as you nod along, that part matches what your parents and doctors told you, although these two seem to care a lot for you, the masked man even sounds worried when talking about the explosion, this brings one question to your head and a strange deep need to know the answer. "What's my relationship with you two?" You ask while looking down at your hand thats griped into a fist on your lap, you know there's more to all this, why would they come this far to get you if you were just a cash grab or a single member of their crew? Why do you feel so comfortable around them? Even though you know their pirates for some reason your convinced they won't hurt you or drag you away. Kid moves to sit on the bed getting you to look up at him, he goes to speak but Killer places his hand on the red head's leg "I don't know if you'll believe us" The masked man sighs as his head drops a bit seeming very unsure, Kid sighs and shakes his head putting his hand on top of the masked man's to comfort him "i want you to know, just don't freak out, please" The masked man continues, anticipation grows in you as your heart beets faster wanting to know now more than before.

Nodding at the two Kid looks back at you deciding he'll be the one to tell you since Killer seems too nervous about your reaction, "Us three are in a relationship together" He state hoping you will understand but you look between the two confused by his words, you kinda know what he means but you want him to be more clear. With a sigh the red haired man slowly moves his mental hand over to you and places it on your still clenched fist, a sense of relief washes over him when you don't pull away or flinch. You couldn't flinch away, you know he wouldn't hurt you on peruses but his hand was heavy making your fist press down onto your burned leg. Your hand shifts making him pull away in shock but you place your hand on the bed before looking up at him. "Elaborate" you state making Kid smile placing his metal hand back on yours as Killer let out a small huff of a laugh "You and your big words" Killer shakes his head, but he sounds happy which makes your heart flutter a little. "You've been a part of my crew for 7 years, Me and Killer have been together for 6 years. We didn't intend for anyone to join but" Kid gulps as his cheeks go red starting to get flustered over having to explain their relationship with you, noticing he's starting to struggle due to embarrassment Killer looks up at you and reaches over placing his hand on top of Kids mettle hand adding to the pile. Your heart pounds harder in your chest but its not out of fear, it makes you happy since you were right about the connection you feel with the two. You didn't think it would be this but you want nothing more than to hear them say how they feel.

Killer waits for your eyes to shift to him before speaking "We both fell in love with you and it took us a while to figure out what we wanted and to tell you… You felt the same, so us three have been together for 4 years now. It's a Poly relationship, we all love and care about each other" Killer finishes off for Kid the two staying quiet after to give you time to process, you may not remember being with them but it sounds so right, you know what a Poly relationship is but you never thought two people would love you and each other at the same time but your happy that it seems that way. Despite these feeling though, you still don't know them well enough to act on any of these feelings, when you know them more or remember more you can then rethink but for now its best to shove these feelings away. Just as you finish deciding what to do and how to answer your parents walk in along with the nurse from before whose apologizes over and over again to them "Get away from her" Your mother yells storming over to you as your farther glares at the two men "Get security" Your father order the nurse who jumps at his stern and angry tone. The two pirates don't move or take their hands off you not threatened by the two people who just walked in. "No, no, it's ok. I said they could stay" You pull your hand away from the two to quickly grab your mothers arm that was reaching for the empty glass vase on your side table. The nurse freezes in place not sure what to do and who to take orders off, your farther raises an eyebrow at you his anger being turned to you now as your mother looks at you in shock not only form your words but from realizing all the roses in the room are gone. Letting out a breath you try and calm yourself knowing what is going to come from the both of them, its best to keep calm in this situation.

Your Farther's abrasive voice cuts through the short silence, if you weren't so used to it then you would have jumped in shock "Y/N, these two are pirates, their the ones that-" Your farther glares at you but your blank eyes meets his stopping him from continuing "I know who they are. I know what you told me but i don't know what to believe. You're telling me one thing and their telling me another, I'd like to hear both sides before i make any kind of decision" You stay calm as you speak knowing getting angry with your farther or mother will make it less likely for them to hear you through their own anger. Your Farther takes a step towards you his eyes filled with rage that you would answer back, he looks like he's going to hit you but you know he won't, mainly because he didn't want to injure his hands. Kid growls low seeing that look on your farther's face and suddenly stand up his fists gripped ready to punch the man "I will kill you if you hurt her" In shock your quickly turn to look up at the red head whose eyes are glaring at your farther, no one has ever defended you against your parents before, everyone always takes their side. He didn't have to do anything, but he did, it sends a strange warm light feeling through your chest but in turn your head starts to hurt, it doesn't feel like a normal headache, the back of your eyes hurt as your head goes fuzzy, there's an image in your mind but it too blurry to make anything out. "Sweetie, they are dangerous, they took you from us, what ever they told you is a lie" Your mother whispers to you but you can't stop looking at Kid who's glaring back at your father, both refusing to back down from what ever mental battle is going on.

The more you look the clearer the image in your mind gets but your head hurts more and more, your ears start to slightly ring as tears well up in your eyes, not because your sad but because of the pressure building behind them. Killer manages to snap you out of your strange gaze by placing a gentle hand on your cheek, your head throbs but you look to meet his masked covered face "You ok?" Killer asks scooting closer his thumb rubbing under your eye wiping away a stray tear, even though he's wearing a mask you can tell he's concerned by his tone. Your mothers eyes widen at seeing you uncontinuously lean into his touch so quickly grabs your slung up arm "Get your hand off my daughter" She scowls while puling you away making you wince in pain grabbing onto your bandaged shoulder as pain shoots through your hole arm. "Don't pull, you'll hurt her.. Y/n you ok?" Killer growls at your mother before turning to you going back to that clam and kind voice, pulling away from your mother you rub your shoulder managing to calm the pain down a little, Killer reaches out to touch your cheek again hoping to comfort you but you push his hand away nit wanting touching you right now. "I'm fine" you finally state despite your head and shoulder throbbing, Your mother gives you a sad look before bending down to you "I'm sorry sweetie, i didn't mean to hurt you" She whispers seeming genuine in her apology so you look up at her and nod giving her a small smile letting her know it's ok. Your farther growl under his breath having enough of the situation "I want these two out of here now" Your farther orders to the nurse behind him but his eyes are glued to the red head who is still glaring back "We're not leaving unless Y/N wants us too" Kid replays as the nurse looks around the room unsure of what to do with all the different people saying different things.

Making his way around the bed towards the red-headed pirate your farther growls under his breath "My daughter has memory loss, she doesn't know what she wants" Your Farther yells only to be met head on by Kid who quickly storms over to the end of the bed getting in your farther face and towering over him, despite the clear intimidation your farther refuses to back down or break eye contact with the red head. "She may have memory loss, but she can still think for herself, she's a grown ass woman" Kid yells into your farther's face starting a yelling match between the two, your head throbs more making your vision go fuzzy, everyone voices fading in and out hardly able to make out the words being yelled. Seeing a glazed over look forming in your eyes Killer's quick to place his hand on your cheek but you slap it away much harder this time "SHUT UP" You yell making almost everyone in the room jump in shock turning their attention to you. "Please just go" You whisper while rubbing your head it starting to hurt less now that the noise has stopped, your mother gives you a happy smile, glad that you've finally agreed with them that the pirates should leave. Kid bites his tongue struggling not to continue yelling at your farther as Killer sighs standing up off the bed. "Well, hurry up and get out" Your farther steps aside gesturing towards the door for the two to leave, looking up at your farther you sigh knowing he didn't get what you were intending "You too" Your mother looks at you with wide eyes before bending down to your level "Sweetie-" she tried to say but you hold your hand up not wanting to hear it.

The nurse sighs knowing what she has to do for her patients sake, you are her patient and their for your comfort is more important "I'm sorry but visiting hours have long been over so please leave, you can come back tomorrow if she wants but if you kick up a fuss again I'll have no chose but to kick you out " She states stepping over to the bed giving you a slight nod, letting you know she's on your side. "That includes you too Mr and Miss Winslow" Your Mother goes to protest at this but your farther gabs her arm pulling her away from the bed "We will be coming back tomorrow and i hope by then you have your attitude fixed" You have to bite your tongue at your fathers comment, you wanted to berate him but it'll only make your head hurt again. "As for them, i don't want them near my daughter" Your mother pipes up looking over at Kid and Killer who haven't moving yet, although Kids fits are clenched at his side his flesh hand starting to turn white while his eyes burn into your farther, if looks could kill your father would be long dead. "Y/n? Is that what you want?" Killer calmly asks turning to you, You need to know more before you make a destitution on who to believe and the only way you'll get that is if you talk to all people involved. "I want you to come back, I-" You want to say more but your farther interrupts you making your head hurt with his sudden yell "Absolutely not" Kid storms over to your farther grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer almost lifting him off the group. "Will you let her speak for once, Gods no wonder she ran away, you over controlling narcissistic bastard" Kid yells only to be stopped by Killer who runs over and grabs the captains shoulder "That's enough, we should go, let Y/N rest. We can talk tomorrow and figure things out"

It surprises you how calm the masked man is and how easily he seems to control the situation, Kid lets go of your farther dropping him to the floor where he stumbles back while fixing his suit collar and tie. "I'm sorry Y/n, we'll let you rest" The masked man turns to you giving you a nod before grabbing Kids arm and tugging on it, The red head sighs before turning to you and rubbing the back of his head "Sorry for my out burst…. we'll see you tomorrow" You nod at his words although you did notice the slight redness in his cheeks, the nurse gives everyone a smile before gesturing towards the door getting everyone to leave. Once everyone's out the room the nurse closes the door and turns to you, making her way over she sits on the edge of the bed before pulling your shirt away from your shoulder to have a look at the bandage "I'm so sorry, i should have stepped in sooner" She whispers while checking for any sign that your wound has reopened but luckily it seemed fine, there's no blood and the bandage hasn't moved. Placing your hand on hers you look up to meet her eyes "It's ok… It's a strange situation and my parents are hard to deal with" You try and comfort her, you know there's also a big likely hood that your farther owns a percentage of this hospital so talking to him in any way other than with respect might get you fired. "Thank you for being on my side, its… rare" You admit pulling your hand away from hers letting her pull your shirt back over your shoulder.

The nurse takes your hand her small smile dropping as she thinks for a second, your about to ask her what's wrong when she starts talking. "I know it's not my place to say but your parents are right about them being dangerous. Eustass Captain Kid and Massacre Soldier Killer both have bounties over two hundred million, their part of the worst generation and ruthless… but on the other hand they do seem to care, they seemed genuinely worried and ready fight for you, it didn't seem like an act." She sighs not sure if she should be telling you all this but you squeeze her hand leaning forwards a bit while giving her a reassuring smile. "Thank you, I'll take any information is can get at this point, like i said before i don't know what to believe, the only thing i can go off is facts and some fuzzy images i can't make out" You state while rubbing your head trying to see that image again but it won't come back, the nurse nods and stands up letting go of your hand "I'll do what ever i can to help but for now I'll get you your meds and then you can rest" She turns leaving you alone in the room again, hopefully you can get more answers tomorrow and hopefully your parents will find your glasses so you can read something. Its so boring just sitting around or watching the dock where ships barely move. With a sigh you lean back against the bed while's placing a hand on your cheek, it still feels warm from Killer's touch it feels nice and you can still faintly smell Kid's cologne giving you a sense of comfort.

----- The Victoria Punk -----

The normally loud dinning room is silent something thats is very rare especially when almost the whole crew is gathered in there, Killer had just finished explaining why you weren't back with them which left the crew feeling deflated. None one spoke for a long while, most of them looking to their Captain hoping he has a plan or an idea but the red head just sat in his chair, his feet propped up on the table while his arms are crossed over his chest tightly. No one could tell what Kid was thinking or feeling, his eyes are angry but his face is blank as the captain stares off into space, with his mind clearly somewhere else Killer sighs crossing one leg over the other as he sits next to the red head. The masked man didn't know what to do, a part of him hopes that Kid will snap and just tell everyone we're grabbing you and leaving despite what they told you but he doesn't want to break any kind of trust or relationship that they have just formed. It's a miracle that you want them to come back, with a sigh Wire leans on the table looking over at his two friends, the room as been quiet for far too long and someone needs to take charge of the situation "So what do we do? Take her in the middle of the night?" The tall man asks knowing exactly what reaction he's going to get, the two men suddenly turn to look at him as they yell the same answer in anger "No" They both glare but soon release the small smirk at the corers of Wire's lips, its clear the tall man only asked that because it would snap them out of their own heads. "She stays until she agrees to come back and i ain't leaving her with those assholes so where staying… House, how long does it take for memories to come back?" Kid sates suddenly turning to the doctor who's messing with her fingers.

House gulps before slowly looking up at her captain knowing he isn't going to like the answer "I-i don't know, it could take a few days or months or years and in some cases… they might not come back at all" Her shoulders tense up as she says her last part, Kid growls while gritting his teeth but before he can start his out burst Killer steps in placing a hand on the captains shoulder giving it a hard squeeze "While were dealing with the situation i want everyone to be on high alert for marines, if her farther does have connection he might have called some in to get rid of us" The masked man states knowing that the crew is at risk, Kid sighs and nods in agreement "There should be several people on watch at all times and no one should leave the ship without permission, understand?" Kid calls out earning loud "yes Captain" from his crew which makes the red head smirk again, House raises her hand getting the two's attention before speaking "I was thinking that maybe i could join you two at some point. i want to look Y/n over, make sure she's healing well and maybe do some snooping around the hospital." She hopes they'll agree but by their thinking faces she feels like it's going to be less and less likely, luckily though they turn to each other and nod, silently agreeing on something "We'll bring it up to her and see if she agrees" Kid states hoping you'll say yes to having someone else look you over, the two don't want to overwhelm you with new people, and they also don't want another reason for your parents to bitch and moan causing you more pain and increasing the chance of a marine presence.

Through the conversation between the three a rhythmic tapping of fingers started to develop getting louder and louder, Heat has his teeth clenched as his fingers tap the table, lost in thought it was Wire who snaps hims out of it by bumping the stitched man's shoulder with his own "What's up?" The tall man whispers not wanting to interrupt Kid and Killer talking to the crew, Heat sighs and rubs his head while stopping the tapping he was uncontinuously doing "I know i've heard the last name before, Winslow, Winslow. uhhh, i-i just can't put my finger on it" The stitched man groans in frustration, its on the tip of his tongue but it just won't force itself any closer, Wire pats his friend on the back giving him some kind of reassurance, it would be nice to know who your parents are, but he doesn't want to put any more weight on Heat's shoulders. A few seconds later it finally hits the stitched man making his eyes widen in slight shock, cursing under his breath the room suddenly goes quiet all eyes turning to Heat since they know something has well and truly caught him off guard. "The Winslow family own a Drug distribution company that mainly castors to the marines and world government, a few years back they were also given a licence to make new drugs although that licence has since been revoked but i can't remember why. They also own several other big company's in weapons, fuel and have shares in others that have been handed down for generations… Their rich.. Like royalty rich"

The room goes completely silent at this no one knowing what to say about the situation, it normally wouldn't bother them if you came from a rich family but this is different, your family sells a lot of stuff to the marines and seems very buddy, buddy with them. It's true your farther can't fire a marine, but he can pull resources which will be disastrous for them so it's no wonder the commodore was so hell-bent on keeping quiet. "So what if her daddy's rich, the prick has no right" Kid growls flicking his hand in protests while leaning back in his chair but it seems some of the crew don't feel the same, they still want you back but being this rich and from a very well known family will bring its issues like it has now "I don't get it, she left and now years later they want her back, Why?" Mohawk asks a man how has been with the crew since the beginning and of course gets his name from the tall and thin orange Mohawk on his head "Something fishy is going on, i think it's a good idea to gave a few of us look into things" Narbe a man with two large scars down his face and over his eyes speaks up making the captain hum in thought, it would be good to get some info in order to have the upper hand, it also might help them in the future "Alright, you two and Heat your in charge of that but don't leave the island" The three smile giving their captain a nod happy to help out and also maybe rough up some people to get information.

[dukeofdelirium]

I will never believe Zu/tara shippers when they say they hate Kata/aang because it's "heteronormative" since one of the main complaints Kata/aang gets from them is that "no 14 year old girl would wanna date a bald boy who's younger and shorter then her" or how Aang gets called a bald lesbian as an insult. Idk man I think Katara ending up with the bad boy with anger issues who is most stereotypically masculine of all the Gaang boys and who she spends most of the story hating for hurting her and her friends (who also personally betrayed her trust when she tried to help him). Idk man I think if these two got together that'd be a lot more heteronormative, especially since they only became friends an ep before the finale started. I think Katara and Aang's relationship has writing issues too (I have a lot of gripes I'm not coming at this as a shipper) but it takes a particular kind of ship brainrot to argue Zuta/ra end game would have made more sense or been a better end game with the canon we are given. And arguing it's somehow less heteronormative to make Zuko get together with Katara. I can't with this fandom.

if either of these two ships fit the definition of heteronormativity, it’s zvtara, not kataang. Aang does not fit the western male character type. He is short, shaves his head, is pacifistic, and quite feminine compared to the other male characters. He gets insulted for doing things that characters deem as “feminine”, like weaving jewelry for one.

the show doesn’t actually support this idea that femininity is bad, but characters like Sokka who have narrow viewpoints early in the story try to ridicule him. toph also makes jabs at Aang’s femininity.

Zvtara shippers argument has never been about heteronormativity. It’s always been “misogyny”. The only reason they’re adopting heteronormativity in their list of vocab words they still don’t know the definitions of is bc most of us kataang shippers on here (tumblr) are gay, bisexual, etc. And because we, as majority lgbt ppl have stated that their ship is heteronormative, they just want to flip that to use against us even when it doesn’t apply.

Kataang simply doesn’t follow a typical m/f ship in terms of writing, characters or how they interact with one another. Which is by and large why it has been so hated by these idiots. They wanna say “muhhh heteronormativity” but in the same breath ridicule Aang’s femininity, say he isn’t masculine enough for her, call him a lesbian etc to undermine the ship. Just as they say “muhhh male gaze” when most kataang shippers are actually women, because most ppl involved in shipping communities and fandoms in general are women.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I only know of a couple of male kataang shippers on here, myself being one of them. Ships and fandoms are very much and have always been a female dominated community. That’s for any fandom or any ship I’ve seen.

Their arguments are ridiculous and make no sense. It’s just like when some zvtara idiot was in my inbox harassing me for being a man and was saying that I’m an incel and that I hate women and want to rape women….. when I’m fucking GAY! Nothing they say makes sense or is canonical, so I’ve long since stopped taking anything they say seriously. It’s just free entertainment at this point.

Full offense but I don’t need a bunch of straight girls to tell me what heteronormativity means 😂

[meldingintheunderdark]

Halsin, Drow and submission

Halsin has a complicated history with Lolth-Sworn drow to say the least. Three years of his youth have been stolen to satiate the selfish, dehumanizing pleasure of an influent matron and her man. Let’s not disregard Minthara who threatens the Emerald Grove alongside Priestess Gut and Dror Ragzlin in Act I. Although Minthara now serves the Absolute, she is a member of the ancient and powerful House Baenre of Menzoberranzan, thus first and foremost a Lolth-Sworn drow. Furthermore, drow cultists also obey her (e.g. the corpse outside of Waukeen's Rest, Narvass in the Shattered Sanctum and the man who attacked Nettie and him). Consequently, we know with certainty that, canonically, Halsin is exposed twice to the infamous cruelty of Lolth-Sworn drow through his captors, then Minthara and her minions.

Halsin also states that he has returned to the Underdark many times. I assume that he did so before his unfortunate capture, but also after his daring escape from Menzoberranzan. It isn’t too far-fetched to think he might have encountered more drow showing their typical Lolth-approved brand of malice. Despite his “misadventure”, as Halsin says himself, he couldn’t stay away from the Underdark’s arguably hottest residents. Why so?

Halsin: Astarion, I am astonished. To relish in intimacy again after such hardship is a wound many never recover from. Astarion: Are you charging for this sage advice, or is sticking your nose into my business just a hobby? Halsin: Jest all you will. I believe now in your honest heart.

This is a sweet albeit clumsy banter. Halsin seems to relate to Astarion’s traumas, however his gauche attempt to empathize and bond is not well received by the spawn. Although Halsin says “many”, he may be speaking from experience. After all, he is not one to be the center of attention, unless it is in a self-sacrificing way, thus I can hardly imagine him using I, especially with such a personal topic.

As aforementioned, Halsin has never left the Underdark once and for all. I suspect that he may have had difficulties to be intimate again after three uninterrupted years of torment and abuse at the hands of the drow couple. His frequent returns to the Underdark may have been a way to claim back what was stolen: his ability to express agency and exercise bodily autonomy, among other things. He is desired by drow because he is an exotic surface dweller, one of a kind. He can handle them now. They cannot hurt him anymore. He knows better. Yet, at the same time, he is objectified. He exposes himself regularly to lovers who are likely to share the same beliefs and ruthlessness as his captors. In order to deal with his traumas, he sought out drow, perhaps to his own detriment. He became a legend. Halsin coped as best he could. From my point of view, this banter isn't solely about one shared experience among survivors, it’s also about Halsin sympathizing with Astarion because he too had to go through a similar recovery process.

I would like to preface this paragraph with the following statement: I do not judge players who refuse to be exposed to the foursome and the dialogue the encounter unlocks. We all have our boundaries and our sensibilities. This being said, Halsin’s traumas are often met with horror and compassion, sometimes too much if it makes any sense. His past experiences are discussed in such a way that they become sacrosanct. Too holy to be used and abused with his consent. Meanwhile, because Halsin is a bear of a man and a deeply caring individual, he tends to be the top/dom in the relationship. His traumas are sanctified, yet simultaneously they’re overshadowed by his nurturing disposition and his glorious hairy body. As if he can solely be a top/dom. As if DU/Tav must only show empathy, kindness and care as a bottom/sub. Yet care is multifaceted.

This is the crux of this post and one of my main gripes with the fandom: Halsin shouldn't be a strict top/dom. In fact, I am persuaded submitting would help him a lot.

Halsin: To give oneself wholly, and to have a lover totally in your thrall…? A harmless game, until it becomes real.

While I believe Halsin would relish any flavor of dom, I am also inclined to think he would request scenes that happened with his captors. In other words, his partner can hardly be a gentle dom only. He would willingly explore his traumas in a risk-aware and consensual environment, with the person he has come to love, trust and rely on the most.

Oftentimes, when survivors enjoy anything remotely close to their trauma(s), such as a kink, when they ask for it and like it, when the exploration and the re-enactment of their trauma(s) are positive, then the public opinion is either worried or downright judgmental. There is not a singular way to cope and heal. BDSM is too often pathologized. It can be curative. Consensual slavery to serve a harsh master, especially a drow DU/Tav, could be healing for Halsin. He hurts himself with the twins (my post), as he oft does, however it may be completely different if he submits to his lover the very same way he has submitted to his captors. This time, his consent will be supreme.

By the way, I don’t aim to enforce a specific hierarchy, however I do believe a Bhaal-made drow/drow Tav would play a unique role. Halsin is traumatized by Lolth-sworn drow.

Sszazar: You are aware you're asking me to kill a drow? Halsin: You drow relish turning on your own, if there's something to be gained. Don't pretend otherwise.

Sometimes, because of traumas, unfair expectations are placed on certain individuals because they are associated with said traumas. It isn't rational, it just happens. So, a relationship with a drow could be more intricate than with any other race while Halsin is finally taking care of himself. Thus, curative BDSM (as in re-enacting traumatizing scenes) may be even more intense with a drow partner.

Sszazar: The mighty bear is an escaped pet, then. I wonder if there is a reward for your return.

It would be a delightful line. To be honest, the [Drow] options available during the dialogue about his past demonstrate the deeper involvement of a drow DU/Tav. This intricacy is also highly visible thanks to Halsin's lack of rage or sadness when the previous option is selected. drow DU/Tav look like his captors. He's still trauma-bound to them.

Lastly, it’s okay to favor dom Halsin over sub Halsin. It’s difficult to write about topics we know nothing about or that we simply don’t like. Nevertheless, it’s unfortunate Halsin isn't more written as a sub, let alone as a sub re-enacting voluntarily past traumas to heal and to enjoy himself. I wonder if Halsin would be more often depicted as a sub and/or bottom if he looked like the average wood elf, less manly and huge.

Bears love to be dominated too.

[acronym49]

Obey Me! Characters react to mc being a dragon

(trying my hand at writing headcanons, let me know what you think! Other brothers + dateables are a work in progress)

__Lucifer__

He's not optimistic. His brothers are hard enough as it is, but adding in a new large creature? It'd be better to just keep you down with Cerberus. Maybe he'd enjoy the new playmate.The annoyance turns to intrigue when he learns you have the mind of any other demon (or person, if you will). And you can speak? Strange. This wont make him like you by any means, of anything he will be very distrusting. As you live there, though, he starts getting used to you. He even enjoys your odd antics, and especially the way you can rally in any ensuing chaos (despite how often you cause it).On one or two rare occasions, he'd absently try to pet you on the head when he was in that 'dead tired from paperwork' state. Depending on your reaction, he might do it more. When/if he does end up falling for you, expect to be near him a lot (obviously). There's not so many head-pats, but he likes to have you sit next to him while he's working or reading, sometimes absently stroking you neck or asking your opinion on whatever he's working with. There'll definitely be some teasing as to how catlike you are at times, but he means it lovingly. *he might put a collar on you if you ask-*He wouldn't ever be the type to outright ask to ride on your back, but I have the feeling he'd make subtle hints to it.'Ah, darn, the ride canceled last second. How can we get there now?' Ykyk. He'll turn you down the first time when you ask if he wants to fly with you, but that's just the pride talking for him. He'd love nothing more. After all, one of the most powerful lords of hell swooping in upon a dragon? You two would be an awe-inspiring duo, that's for sure.

__Mammon__

Ugh, he's gotta watch the new student? Lame! Humans are so- what the fuck is that?He dosen't know how to react at first. This is the thing he's looking after? It'll be awkward for the first few days, but as we know, he falls for MC fast. Awkward silence changes to him griping about how you always have to follow him. After the pact, though, he realizes you're not so bad. You tease him a little bit, sure, but he notices how you praise him, too. Just simple compliments, like how he looks good in his shades, how he's so good at math, how he's super fun to be around. It makes him feel better, y'know? Other demons also seem to be a bit less inclined to make fun of him when you're around, especially when you growl at them for being so openly mean. After a little bit of time, you two are basically glued at the hip. Depending on the kind of MC you are, you two could be the ultimate partners in crime or the closest confidants (or both!). There'll never be a boring moment with you two.It wont take him too long to ask to fly on you (probably be one of the first things he asks you tbh- it's like a joy-ride squared)He'd be respectful but mopey if you say no, but if you say yes? That's a happy demon on your hands right there. Be sure to set some boundaries, though, he might not wanna go by car anymore (like when you give a hognose snake a toad and they refuse to go back to pinkies lmfao). He'll try and get you to learn some aerial maneuvers, maybe how to spin or go upside-down (it's harder than it looks). When you two aren't flying or causing chaos together, you're both just hanging out. When he's relaxed, he likes to trace his hand over your smooth skin/scales/feathers/fur. He can't help it, the texture's just so soothing. Don't point it out, though, he'll go BRIGHT red. He likes it when you two watch movies together, or when you browse Devilgram with him over his shoulder. Feel free to nuzzle him and cuddle up, this man loves it. Sometimes he returns the favor, using you as his own sort of couch while he talks with you, sometimes giving you a peck here and there.

__Leviathan__

Oh this man is hyped from the start. A whole-ass dragon? LIVING with him and his brothers? What could be cooler? He has an internal war between wanting to get a good look at you and being really nervous to get too close. That nervousnes amps up when he realizes you can talk. You might think he's a hallucination at first with how fast he darts out of sight the moment you try and look at him. Fortunately, Mammon's debt to him is what spurs your first interaction. After, he's a little bit more ok with being percieved. He plays it cool at first, not wanting to seem too pushy, but he can't help but barrage you with questions when he gets the chance. It's actually quite a fun time, especially if you love infodumping as much as he (and I) does. You ask your own share of questions as well, about the Devildom, about him, about the games and figures he loves. As you two get more relaxed with one another, you both love to sit and chat about each other's hyperfixations. You can't exactly game with him due to your talons (not comfortably, anyways), but he lets you watch over his shoulder while he games. It makes his victories that much sweeter, and any losses a tad more bearable. Sometimes he lets you go on the mic to startle or taunt the other players, just for fun. It's hard to tell exactly when the relationship begins and the friendship ends, it's a smooth transition that neither of you really notice until you're literally cuddled up together, watching Assasination Classroom on his phone at 2am. It takes a surprising while for him to ask to fly with you. You may have to be the one to bring it up, actually. Nervous the whole time, 100%. He may decline, but upon numerous reassurances he'll agree. I think it's like... that test drive scene from httyd. It's so unfamiliar at first, being high up, with the wind blowing so fiercely. After a while, though, something clicks with him. He'll gain that confidence, guiding you (with your permission) where he wants to go. Something about that wild, windswept sensation of being a mile up in the air melts his nerves. It's just you two and the sky. The others are def gonna be jealous about how well you fly together.

(Feel free to tag with your dragon ocs! Sorry for any spelling errors lmao my eyes tend to skip over words sometimes)

[sorbeau]

hi its me again i feel legally obligated to ask about your thoughts on the new riz design (but also extends to al of the other new art for the bad kids too!!!)

HI SHOKO sorry this took so long to asnwer, it feels a little late to the party now but I have lots of thoughts and this has been in my drafts for a hot minute so I'll break my thoughts down in order <3

Fig

GOD DO I LOVE FIG'S DESIGN. It hasn't changed too drastically in many ways, it's largely the same beats with the plaid skirt, leather jacket, biker gloves, and docs, but there's a lot more detail pertaining to her character now. Ayda's feather earring is abviously a huge win, everyone loves to see it, but I love the small details like the added wallet chain on her skirt, the added ear piercings, and her painted nails. If I had to choose something I didn't like, it'd be the color of her shoelaces, which isn't a huge deal bc you know spyre might have different cultural beats, but it's very reminiscent of punk doc lace codes, which were a way to sort of factionize yourself among punks. Fig wears one purple and one red, and traditionally purple means gay pride(which is great and i would've picked it for her too) but red usually means you allign yourself with neo-nazi's and similar groups which. is definitely Not Fig. It's not a HUGE deal but, maybe some more research could've been put into it.

Gorgug

Gorgug's new design is so. Perfect. Amazing. Spectacular. No notes. It's exactly the changes I wanted to see. The goggles, the dirt-covered face, the ripped jeans, the bags and tools, the gloves, the most disgusting worn pair of convers you've ever seen. It's absolutely amazing and the artist has managed to bring all the beats we loved about his original design(his extremely fashionable purple pants) and mixes them perfectly with all of the new facets of Gorgug's personality that have changed and grown theough their adventures. A little detail I love is how the color of his headphones has changed to match with the rest of his outfit better, creating a more cohesive design with the introduction of more red/maroon tones. This was always a little bit of an issue with the old design for me. The colors sort of didn't go together.

Kristen

She's going through a break up. She's at the most chaotic she's ever been and she's trying to fix it. It is so genius to make her jacked. The bright yellow tracksuit is beautiful and exactly something Kristen would buy and wear every day. Plus the tiedye purple sports bra tying in her old church camp shirt aesthetic is brilliant. I'm mourning the loss of her sandals, but the matching shoes to her tracksuit can't be complained about. Not a whole lot to say, I'm excited about how this design will change and reflect her growth this season! Praise Saint Kristen Applebees!!

Adaine

THE ELVEN ORACLE IS COOL NOW!!! I love her jacket, all the patches and the toned down fur lining is absolutely perfect. I also love the cool strapped bags on her hips and legs, it's just a really cool adventurer addition cementing her as a bad ass practical caster. Her entire face seems more assured and relaxed, which is absolutely amazing for her and reflects how her resting state is no longer as addled with panic and anxiety as it used to be. Her hair also seems a lot more her! Not sure how to describe it, but it seems like she's focusing less on keeping herself perfect, and more on just keeping herself, herself! Not very big design swings or changes, but she doesn't need to change, she just needs to be true to herself. (Also. a huge fan of her cool magic circle shirt.) My only gripe. Give her blue hair. And pronouns. And glasses pretty please.

Fabian

That boy is the future of dance!!!!!!!!!! I love the color palette shift for his design, it's a really great way to show how he's grown out of Bill's shadow and embraced his own passions with the grey tones with red and gold accents. Also a huge fan of the fancy robed pants, tons of great movement lines and something a dancer would totally wear. On the same note however, I feel like it doesn't really go with the rest of his outfit. I love how the changes made are geared towards movement and dance(his shoes changing from sneakers to dance shoes is great) but I feel like the changes are all sort of mismatched? The dance shoes look a lot like tap shoes, but the pants look more big and flowy, better for a more leaping and running style of dance, and his jacket has almost nothing to do with dance. It's delightfully artsy and detailed, which is so chic and Fabian, but the shapes of it don't really match up, and especially without a clear view of the front it makes him look like he's wearing half of a matador outfit. I would've loved to see a more dramatic silhouette without the use of the battle sheet(which is absolutely perfect, no notes) with either lots of flowy parts for movement, or a sharp jacket with skinnier pants for that exaggerated silhouette. Again, I think this is really all due to a lack of research, but the spirit of Fabian is still in the room with us. The colors are great, the bandages on his hands are perfect, and the fanciful element is very on point, just needs some better shape language and cohesiveness.

Riz

There he goes, he's gone from gritty detective to gadget-heavy superspy. I LOVE the character choices that Murph made for Riz, he's become even more of a loser and seems a lot less hard and fast, and more generally passionate. In freshman and sophomore year, he was entirely goal oriented, completely focused on completing his mission and solving the mystery, this time around he's still got a mission, but because he can't do it all himself, he's sort of given the opportunity to branch out and explore himself. This is all to say, i love the insufferable loser hipster kid that he's become. He is truly the trinket goblin of all time, I love all his wild little gadgets and jewelry, and all the extra arcano-tech screens on his glasses are brilliant. I'm also a huge fan of his torso gun-holdster, which is a beautiful homage to his detective nature. The undercut is also obviously perfection. The loser teen-boy urge to cut away your beautiful hair for a nerdy undercut is so painfully lore accurate that it's one of my favorite details. It's probably because he's a dork. but I would love to know why he has rolled up pants and no socks. What is that. Why would he do that. ALSO STOP BEING A COWARD D20. GIVE HIM DIGITIGRADE LEGS AND A TAIL. CAT GOBLIN TRUTHERS UNITE!!!!!!!!!!

anyways that's probably the end of my rant for now. I love the bad kids and overall their designs are great. constantly wishing all of my headcannons were real but understanding that the cannon will never relent.

[ndotmov]

My Rose Quartz / Pink Diamond defense Initially a sociology report

@pearlhoardingdragon - since you wanted to know what I wrote for my Uni sociology class based on my previous post, here ya go:

"From Abused to “Abuser”: An Analysis of Pink Diamond from a Sociological Perspective

DISCLAIMER: While the fact that the Diamonds received a redemption arc, despite being intergalactic dictators, is a major gripe with fans (including myself) of Steven Universe, storyboard artist Hilary Florido stated in a podcast that the depiction of the Diamond Authority was suppose to be more akin to a "conservative rule-following family…” (Steven Universe Podcast, Volume 3, Episode 2 [EXTRACT▶], source). For the sake of the paper, I will be discussing the Diamond family dynamic from a “conservative rule-following family” standpoint and not from a corrupt Institutional perspective.

No matter what social, economic, or political background a person comes from, if they experience Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), they will develop some form(s) of trauma. Sometimes, victims of abuse, no matter the intent, harm others because of unhealed trauma, low-self esteem, and unhealthy survival habits. The case can be made for Pink Diamond (Rose Quartz), the deuteragonist of Steven Universe by Rebecca Sugar (she/they). Steven Universe is the story of the titular character, Steven Universe’s adventures on Earth as he fights monsters alongside the Crystal Gems. Gems are a sexless but female-presenting, alien race known for colonizing planets in their solar system and are ruled under “The Great Diamond Authority”, which consists of White Diamond, Yellow Diamond, Blue Diamond, and formerly Pink Diamond. Steven is the son of Pink Diamond (known as Rose Quartz) and throughout the show, we see Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz’s character develop backwards; the more Steven learns about the true identity of his mother, the more he is determined to no longer be like her, but to be better than her, to which Pink Diamond herself wanted for Steven to be. Because of this backwards development, many viewers misunderstand the complexities of Pink Diamond’s character and how she is neither evil nor good. However, despite her desire for breaking the generational cycle of abuse, Pink unintentionally is a part of the unhealthy Relationship Spectrum and inflicts trauma onto others due to her unhealed ACEs. While she may appear as an “abuser” to some, Pink Diamond is an example of a character defined by self-surveillance to the point of traumatizing others because she had a poor relationship with herself.

While the Diamonds had cared for and loved Pink, they were more concerned about maintaining their society’s status quo than understanding Pink, which led to Pink’s ACEs. Pink Diamond is undeniably a victim of Family Violence and power over relationships. The first instance of abuse we see Pink endure is in Jungle Moon when Pink Diamond is with Yellow Diamond and demands for a colony of her own, much like a child demanding for a new toy. She tells Yellow Diamond, a mother figure, that she deserves to have a colony like the rest of the Diamonds because she is just as important as them, but to her dismay, Yellow grabs her arm and tells her to act as expected of her. Yellow’s condescension is felt again in Familiar when Steven tries challenging Yellow into self-reflection, to which the former waves off Steven’s concerns and claims how “[Pink] always…[had]...a knack for making [others] laugh” and how Pink is “almost worth the trouble”, displaying a history of disregard and belittling towards Pink. Fans of the show often like to suggest that Blue Diamond is the “nicest” of the Authority, and perhaps a saving grace in Pink’s abuse, because of her explicit mourning for Pink when she thought Pink had been shattered, but fans fail to recognize that Blue Diamond was just as abusive as her counterparts because she actively upheld their family’s conservatism. As seen in Together Alone and Change Your Mind, whenever Pink acted in a way that was considered “unruly” by her parents, or the Diamond Authority’s standards, she would be thrown into an almost-windowless tower for long periods of time to “reflect” on her behavior. Due to the need that gems have for light, doing this would be akin to depriving a child of food as a punishment. As well, isolating a child only instills distrust in others, and the ability to be vulnerable with others is slowly diminished as the child matures. Pink Diamond had no support system and through deep-rooted memory, we see that it was Blue Diamond who would enter the tower and gaslight Pink Diamond for her “immature” behavior. Another instance we see her criticize Pink is in Can’t Go Back, in which Steven witnesses Blue Diamond scorn Pink Diamond for coming up with “excuses” for why she did not want to complete the colonization of Earth after begging for one for so long. While it seems Yellow and Blue Diamond are emotionally dismissive towards Pink, their acts of emotional negligence are overshadowed by White Diamond’s attitude towards Pink. In regards to White Diamond, we get subtle hints as to how White Diamond treated Pink in Legs from Here to Homeworld and Change Your Mind, when White Diamond senses Steven is back on Homeworld (their gem society), she brings him to her. Steven attempts to converse with White, but is constantly interrupted and condescendingly questioned if he “got everything out of [his] system”. Furthermore, White’s disdain for Pink is revealed in Change Your Mind when she admits that Pink is the part of her “she always wants to repress”. In this scenario, White Diamond’s language is reminiscent of a mother who sees too many of the features she dislikes about herself in Pink, and as a result, this bitterness leads to generational trauma and a lack of support for Pink Diamond’s upbringing. By the examples we’ve seen, whenever Pink Diamond tried advocating for herself, she was immediately shut down. 

This self-advocacy worsens when Pink Diamond assumes the form of Rose Quartz to momentarily experience life on Earth and soon recognizes that her initial colonization of the planet is taking life away, instead of creating something from nothing. As Pink Diamond, she tries turning towards Yellow and Blue Diamond for support, but the two turn their backs on Pink Diamond, causing her to resort to extreme measures for the sake of attention–starting a civil war. Pink Diamond’s sense of entitlement comes from a place of insecurity and neglect because in Familiar, prior to receiving a colony, Pink’s only role was to entertain (hence her jester-like outfit) and throw extravagant parties for the other diamond’s accomplishments. This example of self-surveillance established a deep level of resentment and insecurity towards her place in society because she had no accomplishments of her own, nor respect from her family, therefore is the reason why Pink Diamond begged for a colony of her own–she thought owning a colony would garner the respect and attention she’s been denied her whole life, and as such, did not consider the consequences of her actions. As Rose Quartz, however, Pink began to view life from a different perspective as she experienced new situations–like Garnet’s fusion in The Answer. 

In The Answer, we see Pink Diamond as Rose Quartz realize that the people around her experience sonder (e.g., Garnet who is composed of Ruby and Sapphire’s desire to live their lives together), causing her to shift her mission in protecting life on Earth to advocating for gems’ freedom to self-express, which is her genuine attempt at trying to break generational trauma by establishing something new. However, her method was extremely selfish because even though she lacked the proper support from the Diamonds, Pink Diamond still incited a civil war in order to protect her creation, causing numerous casualties, including those that she loved. This callous, unhealed nature displays an unspoken justification that some abuse victims that experience emotional dysregulation have: “I am hurt so everything else does not matter”. But below the surface of Pink’s selfishness lies self-hatred, to which is the true reason as to why she started a civil war; often ACEs create internalized narratives of being the abuser, causing self-blame to turn into self-hatred. Rose Quartz hated herself so much that she literally and metaphorically waged war on herself in order to be detached from her childhood trauma and subsequently, old identity. This harm towards herself extends towards others as she becomes a self-fulling prophecy of abuse, starting with her Pearls.

Before it was revealed that the Crystal Gem, Pearl was Pink Diamond’s Pearl, Pink Diamond had Pink Pearl. As briefly shown in Together Alone, Pink Pearl was Pink’s first servant. Pink Diamond did not view her Pearls as such and would often seek personal advice from them, which went against her status as a Diamond. However, while Pink Diamond was kind to her first Pearl, she would often have unchecked temper tantrums, to the point of one day physically lashing out at Pink Pearl because she was denied a colony (Volleyball, Steven Universe). The event was so traumatic to both Pink Diamond and Pink Pearl that we see a shift in attitude and appearance (respectively), with subtle hints as to how the Diamonds would weaponize Pink Diamond’s behavior against her—Blue Diamond threatening to “take away her new Pearl” in Change Your Mind, a classic example of authoritative abuse. Pink Diamond is afraid of treating her new Pearl like an individual for a while as she is fearful of repeating her past mistakes, but is given the opportunity to when she assumes the identity of Rose Quartz, an identity that was presented to her by Pearl (Now We’re Only Falling Apart). The two were intoxicated by this new form as it allowed Pink Diamond to escape her responsibilities. Her escapist behavior is most prominently seen in her relationship with Greg in We Need to Talk .

The episode We Need to Talk highlights Rose Quartz’s inability to view others as equals because of her identity issues. Rose first meets Greg in Story for Steven, and the two are enamored with each other and develop a superficial relationship. As stated by Pearl in We Need to Talk, Greg is one of many humans Rose has “played” with and like a phase, she’ll be over him eventually because he is ultimately not a gem and cannot “fuse” with her. While harsh, Pearl’s words are later confirmed to be true as Greg tries to deeply connect with Rose, but his attempt is laughed off with a “You’re a human…that’s not a problem, I love humans, you’re all so funny…”. From this line, we see that Greg is just another part of Rose’s escapist fantasy–at this point, she is free from the Diamonds and living out her life with her newly found family in Beach City. Rose truly loves Greg, but does not understand relationships with others beyond a surface level; when Greg challenges Rose to talk to him like a “real person”, Rose is stunned and admits she’s “not a real person”. For so long, Rose has relied on others for advice (the Diamonds; Pearl, and Garnet with her future vision and wisdom as mentioned in the episode and in Now We’re only Falling Apart) that she lacked confidence within herself, hence why she was taken aback by Greg’s confrontation. For the first time, someone made Rose look introspectively, which is healthy boundary setting, but unfortunately, when Rose begins to question herself and recognize her past wrongdoings, Greg admits in Steven’s Dream that he told her that what matters is who she is now, which is not unsound advice, but did not allow for Rose to continue taking personal accountability for the pain she’s inflicted.

 Given the fact that Rose Quartz is an escapist identity Pink Diamond assumed, a small portion of her still cared for the Diamonds, which ultimately caused the fallout between her and a trusted friend–Bismuth. Before Amethyst joined the Crystal Gems, Bismuth was a prominent member of Rose’s entourage. Bismuth, like many gems, was fed into this master narrative of the Diamond Authority without questioning Rose Quartz herself. Eager to end the war and tear down their oppressive establishment, Bismuth presented Rose the “Breaking Point”, which was a weapon meant to shatter the Diamonds; it was viewed as a “radical solution” and because Rose still felt an instinctual and complicated attachment to the Diamonds, as seen in victims of childhood trauma, she fought Bismuth and “bubbled” her, vowing to never speak of her again (until Bismuth was unbubbled by Steven in Bismuth). Silencing Bismuth was one of Rose’s/Pink’s worst moments and does qualify her under the abusive category because she deceived Bismuth, and the rest of the Crystal Gems, on who she really was. The argument for her abusive behavior is added onto when looking at the case of Spinel.

First debuting in the Steven Universe Movie, Spinel was made to be Pink Diamond���s coping mechanism, but as we know in Week 12: Interpersonal Violence, not all coping mechanisms are effective. Shortly after harming Pink Pearl and before receiving a colony, Pink Diamond fell into a depressive episode. Instead of assisting Pink in managing her emotions, the Diamonds gave her a Spinel, or an entertainer, as a gift. For a while, Pink enjoyed Spinel’s company, but had little regard for her, as eventually Pink received her own colony and new Pearl, causing her to only consider her own emotions and momentarily conform as a ruler as a means of survival and satisfying the desires of her parents (again, whenever she attempted to self-express, she was thrown into an almost-windowless tower or berated). Pink Diamond did not want to outright hurt Spinel, so she tricked the unknowing gem into “playing a game” for 6,000 years, or the entirety of Steven Universe post-Pink Diamond’s “shattering”. This abandonment was prior to Pink Diamond witnessing Garnet’s fusion in The Answer, so she truly believed gems other than Diamonds had no intellect or free will, aside from their basic programming. Despite Pink’s desire to spare Spinel from harm, and belief that Spinel could not be harmed, Spinel developed severe abandonment and attachment issues, vowing to harm the Earth and kill Steven. Eventually, Steven learns to understand Spinel’s backstory and talk out the situation (his main go-to method of healing and resolving conflict), which in itself magnifies the major issue fans have with Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz: they believe Rose Quartz created Steven as her scapegoat, which couldn’t be further from the truth..

Yes, throughout the events of Steven Universe, Steven unjustly had to deal with the repercussions of Pink Diamond’s actions, almost to the point of death on several occasions, but to say that fixing her mistakes was Steven’s purpose misconstrues who Rose Quartz became and why she had Steven in the first place. From what we know in Greg the Babysitter, Rose Quartz loved humans and envied their ability to change and grow up; she believed that was the greatest power of all. In both a selfish and selfless act, Rose gave up her physical form so that she could make something new and good out of her life on Earth. Given her lack of confidence in herself and self-hatred, Rose truly believed Steven could love her family in a way in which she never knew how because he was a “fresh start”. Rose would not have had steven if she knew the threat of Homeworld and the Diamonds was still imminent, hence her decision to settle down with Greg and record Steven a loving goodbye message in Lion 3: Straight to Video. We can also cite Rose’s consciousness as evidence that she did not have Steven so she could avoid her problems; in Storm in the Room, Steven challenges the contentious belief of Rose having him so he can deal with her problems. Because Rose gave up her physical form, but not consciousness, she was able to manifest to Steven in their room and rejected his insecurities by affirming that she did love him as everything in her tape to Steven was true. While I personally don’t agree with Steven accepting the fact that he does have to deal with her issues, it goes along with the show’s underlying theme of attempting to break the generational trauma cycle. Regardless of whether or not Steven was born, we see in The Return, The Cluster, and Reunited, the Diamonds were planning on destroying Earth from the inside out with a planted time bomb deep within the Earth’s mantle, and if that failed to work, personally deal with the remaining gems themselves. In this case, because Steven was unlike his mother and focused on confronting his issues head on, valued self-love and established healthy boundaries, he was able to save Earth and dismantle the Diamond Authority and their imperialist empire, something Pink Diamond was unable to do in her lifetime. 

To conclude, Pink Diamond was a deeply flawed individual that was an unintentional, self-fulfilling prophecy; she harmed the ones she cared for, but had done so in a way that evades responsibility and accountability–assuming a new identity. Her careless and inconsiderate nature formed because of the ACEs she had endured from the Diamond Authority, resulting in a deep level of self-hatred that fueled a civil war between her people and family. Not to mention, her unfinished business unjustly transferred onto Steven, but to her credit, Rose truly did not anticipate her past coming back to Steven–she did not anticipate much of the future without seeking advice from others. While her troubled upbringing is an explanation as to why Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz lied to and inflicted pain on others, including herself, it is not an excuse. Even though Pink Diamond was struggling to voice herself to the Diamonds, she could have taken accountability by being open about her past with the Crystal Gems before having Steven. However, despite her unhealthy behavior, Pink Diamond was not an active abuser as we must consider the entire context. Pink Diamond most closely resembles an unhealed victim of ACEs that struggled with identity issues, self-worth, and unhealthy views of the world around her, but tried handling the situations in her life the ways she knew how. 

Sources: 

(the rest of the sources were for my assignment and relating to my school)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Zqn56rVWAoy-UjwDDSWrk-ydTmvNFJri2mitK2kQg9U/edit - Hilary Florido quote source."

[archivalofsins]

Weird gripe but it kind of ticks me off that people are still treating Haruka like he has more than just communication issues. Especially since his song titles have been the most complicated out of the prisoners since trial one.

Or how it's bluntly stated in his character description on the website he has communication issues and nothing more.

"A quiet young prisoner who always keeps his eyes downcast. At first, he only responds with a word or two in response to Es's questions. By communicating with each other through meetings, the number of words gradually increases. Once we are able to have a conversation with him, we can begin to see his true kind nature. He has a quiet temperament and shows no signs of dissatisfaction with Milgram's environment. He tries to communicate with Es and the other prisoners, but there is something off about them and they don't really get along."

Outside of his literal character description, there's an abundance of evidence in the Portal Timeline and his trial songs that continue to showcase that his issues are solely verbal/communication based. Along with the fact that interacting with all of the prisoners and being given guidance from a particular one has been a great help to him in becoming a better communicator.

So, let's go over what I mean.

Let's start with his trial songs.

Weakness bringing it to attention through its lyrics,

"The word I tried to say was “You’re unfair”." "If I tried and couldn’t say it, You would get angry at me and say “You’re hopeless.”"

And it's Japanese title. Something so complicated that it needed to be explained to me again. Thanks @doctorbunny-

So, that's definitely not the naming conventions of someone lacking when it comes to literacy. Shockingly enough it is possible to have very advanced literacy comprehension and low communication skills. Something that is highlighted through Haruka's character greatly. Yet, they translated his songs title as Weakness due to it being a bit too complicated to translate over.

His second song is called All-knowing All-agony for fucks sake. Stop treating him as though he doesn't know anything just because he's autistic coded. It's real ableist bullshit. Autism isn't a monolith it's a spectrum. People with it can have issues reading/writing, communicating verbally, or both. So, it'd be great if the fandom could stop fucking around with disorders they know nothing about.

It's embarrassing. Also here's timeline interactions where we are expressly shown the other prisoners helping Haruka work through his communication issues in various ways. Further showcasing his issues are verbal.

20/06/05 Haruka: Ah…… ah, u-um, Mikoto-san. The c-communication……? thing, that you were saying was important. I-I thought, I’d give it my best…… Um, so, Mikoto-san, what’s your favourite food……? Mikoto: Ooh? Nice going, Haru-kun~ Yeah, we still have no idea how long this lifestyle will go on for, so it’s best if we all get along together here. My favourite food…… I like pasta and horse-meat sashimi. Also bubble tea, and recently I’ve been big on custard puddings. What about you? Haruka: ……ah, I, I wonder…… H-hamburg steak, and omurice, a-and also…… what else? Ah. Cotton candy…… Mikoto: C-cotton candy!? That’s the first time I’ve met someone who has that in their top three favourites!? ……man, Haru-kun, you really are hilarious.

Mikoto introduces Haruka to the concept of small talk. Asking others questions in order to better get to know them.

20/06/12 (Haruka’s First Trial) Mu: ……Haruka-kun…… are you going? Are you going to be ok……? You don’t know what’s going to happen, so it’s scary, huh…… Haruka: Ah, y-yeah, I don’t know. But I definitely have to go, th-that’s the feeling I get. Mu: ……is that right. Let me know whether it hurts or not…… All the best…… Haruka: Ah, eek…… o-ok. ……I’ll…… be off……

Mu introduces Haruka to the concept of checking in on others who are either about to do something difficult or troubling or seems to be having a rough time.

20/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Haruka: ……*sigh*…… Mahiru: Haruka-chaaan, come over here a bit! I’m looking up everyone’s horoscopes right now to check our compatibility~ What’s your star sign~? Haruka: Ah, erm…… s-star sign……? I-I don’t know. Can’t remember…… B-but, my birthday’s June…… 22nd…… I think, that was it…… Mahiru: Ok then. June 22nd is Cancer, so…… A kind person who prioritises their feelings, and…… hm? That’s today!? June 22nd! You should have told us~ Happy birthday~! Haruka: Huh? Ah, yeah…… Th-thank you…… very…… much…… hehe……

Mahiru introduces wishing remembering and wishing others a happy birthday to Haruka. Something he will attempt to do several times until he succeeds at saying it.

20/06/28 Futa: You said you don’t play any games, right? Do you not watch league or premier either? Haruka: E-eh, I, I don’t understand, what that is…… That… uh, “leeg”? Futa: Huh!? It’s international soccer. It’s normal for guys your age to know stuff like that. What a pain… I really have nothing to talk to you about, huh. Even though we’re around the same age. Also don’t speak to me so formally. It’s gross. Haruka: Ah, e-excu-, I don’t, I uh… got it…… Futa… kun……

Futa introduces the concept of formality. Showing that people near your age will find it gross or inappropriate for him to refer to them to formally. This comes up again later.

20/08/05 (Kazui’s Birthday) Haruka: ……Kazui-san…… um…… Are you, happy…… on your birthday……? Kazui: Hm? If I’m being honest, at this age I don’t really think much about birthdays any more. But…… it can be nice to have as a means to start something. Like, for a friend you haven’t seen in a long while, it’s a good excuse to suddenly start up a conversation, you know? Being able to hear from a bunch of people like that makes it fun. Haruka: I-is that, so…… That’s… nice…… I’m, kind of… jealous. But, I’d also, want to hear from people…… e-even if, there isn’t a reason…… Kazui: Haha, but it can’t always be like that. You know, for us adults…… we always want a reason or an excuse for everything. ……hm? Wait, is today my birthday? So is that why you went out of your way to talk to me yourself for once, Haruka?

This is the first instance Haruka tries to apply what he saw Mahiru do. But doesn't really succeed at saying Happy Birthday to Kazui. Instead just asking if he's happy on his birthday.

20/08/18 (Haruka and Yuno’s Interrogation) Yuno: Hey, Haruka, did you fill those out too? I remember doing profile notes like this in like prima11ry school and middle school too. Wasn’t it nostalgic? Haruka: ……e-eh? I don’t… k-know about that…… B-but, if someone wants to hear, I thought I… should answer…… as much as I can……

More practice with small talk and engaging with conversation even though it's a short one.

20/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Kotoko: I still need more information before I make my move. ……I wish my turn would get here faster. Haruka: Um, Koto-Kotoko-san. I h-heard that it’s your birth, day…… Kotoko: Ah, that’s right. ……what about it? Haruka: !! A-ah, no, um, it’s, uh, nothing…… S-sorry for, bothering… L-later……! Kotoko: ……what was that about??

Here's his second attempt at wishing someone happy birthday but he gets scared off by Kotoko's blunt nature.

21/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday) Haruka: U-uh, um, Futa-kun! Um! Um!! Futa: Huh? Shut up already… Didn’t I already say not to make a big fuss about my birthday. I’m not some kid who gets excited by stuff like that anymore! Haruka: ……?? Ah, er, i-is it your birthday……? Th-that, ah, um, h-happy birthday…… Futa: …………You will tell nobody about this conversation.

Look he did it. This was not his intended purpose in this conversation. He did not know it was Futa's birthday but it counts.

21/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: Haruka-kun, are you awake……? Happy birthday. Haruka: M-Mu-san? I… I-I’m awake…… Th-thank you, very much. I’m… glad…… Mu: ………… Shall we talk? You know, recently I’ve been pretty interested in you. Haruka: ……!! I-in me…? Hehe, hehehe…… interested, in me.

This comes in right after this in a very interesting way.

21/09/02  (Yuno’s Birthday) Haruka: Y-Yuno-san. Good morning! T-today’s your birthday, right……? Ha-happy birthday……!! Yuno: Oooh…… Thanks? You’ve definitely changed a bit huh, Haruka. You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk. Haruka: Eh, ah, i-is that so…… I wasn’t, aware of it myself, but…… Heh, hehe. Is that so. Yuno: Ding ding! My sensor is telling me…… this is probably a girl’s influence. Well, everyone here is slowly changing, I guess. Even me.

Oh Haruka is speaking more clearly and looking people in the eye while talking to them. Now who could he have gotten that from. A girl's influence well hm. Let's keep going to be sure.

21/12/15 (Kotoko’s Birthday) Haruka: Ah…… H-happy birthday, Kotoko-san. Kotoko: ……thanks. You’ve definitely changed a bit. Do you remember before? You could barely even talk to me. Haruka: I-is that so? Now that you mention it, I, I maybe have got a bit better since then. ……m-maybe I’ve got more used to being around people. There’s other people here who are interested in me, and, um, in particular Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me…… I… I’m enjoying myself here…… Kotoko: ……hmm. It’s just a theory I have right now, but I get the feeling the outcome of Milgram’s judgements are having some influence on our mental state. Well, I only noticed because I happened to be last up though. Good for you, then. This must mean that you’re fine. ……I’ll accept those birthday wishes.

Success he wished Kotoko a Happy Birthday too. Hm, in particular Mu-san? Isn't Mu younger than Haruka why use san instead of chan. Whelp probably nothing.

22/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: What’s wrong, Haruka-kun? Did something happen? You shouldn’t look away like that when you’re together with me. Haruka: Ah, s-sorry, Mu-san. Um…… No, it’s nothing. I just, suddenly got a feeling. That something is about to happen. Mu: Isn’t that because it’s your birthday? Or perhaps it’s a sign the guard is about to wake up again soon? Fufufu, I bet they’ll be really surprised at a lot of things. Haruka: That, might be true. But, I want the the guard to see. ……the new, me…….

"You speak a little louder now, and actually look people in the eyes when you talk." "A girl's influence." "Mu-san pays a lot of notice to me……" "You shouldn't look away like that."

Well, with some active reading we've determined whats going on here. Haruka has been learning to better communicate with the prisoners through various parties. However, Mu-san the one who pays the most attention with him has been helping him learn how to better communcate with others. Telling him to look people in the eye when speaking to them and to speak clearly as to be heard.

Haruka even asks Mikoto a very similar question to the one Mu asked him when he was going to his first interrogation on his brithday.

Are you going to be ok……?

22/10/06 (Mikoto’s Birthday) Haruka: Mikoto-san. Um, are you ok……? Mikoto: Ah, Haru-kun. It’s been a while since we last talked, huh. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you doing ok……? Haruka: Ah, I’m fine. I’ve been enjoying myself, a lot. Um, I’m sorry, for avoiding you. I was a bit scared. Of you, honestly…… Mikoto: Ahhh, yeah. I’ve been lashing out whenever I go to sleep, right? ……it’s fine. Even I think you’re right to be scared. You know, I kinda just hate that I don’t even know what’s going on myself….haha. Ah, but despite all that you still came and talked to me because it’s my birthday, right? Thank you, you’ve grown into a good man.

(Star barging in real quickly! Wanted to say that the way Haruka almost doubles back to apologize after Mikoto responds welcomingly to Haruka's attempt to talk with him reminds me of how Muu apologizes to Shidou for finding him scary after he actively shows worry for her.

20/06/17 Shidou: ……do you mind if we talk? It seems you’ve relaxed a bit more recently, Kusunoki-kun. Mu: Eh... yeah, definitely compared to the start... just a bit. But I’m still scared… we still don’t know what they might do to us. I want to go home soon… I wonder what’s happening there… Papa and Mama must be really worried… Shidou: That’s good… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you.… yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I… hope you can go back soon. Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me…? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were… a scary person… fufu.

Though there are obvious differences, such as Haruka being the instigator of his interaction vs Muu, who was the one being interacted with. Haruka also apologizes for the actions he took, wheras Muu apologized for her old perception. Also when excited or pleased they both end their sentences with a laugh Mu going "Fufu" and Haruka going "Hehe". This has nothing to do with her helping him communicate it's just a cute thing Gunsli and I noticed.)

Then Haruka continues to use his newfound communication skills throughout trial two. For Mu-san's sake that is.

23/02/19 Haruka: Guard, can you hear me? You can, can’t you? Haruka: I meant what I said in the interrogation. ……please forgive Mu-san. 23/04/07 Haruka: Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. Please forgive Mu-san. PleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-sanpleaseforgiveMu-san

Up until the point that won't even work anymore of course.

23/06/22 (Haruka’s Birthday) Mu: Haruka-kun, I brought your food. Are you still alive? Has any mould started growing? Haruka: ……ah, thank you very much. Mu-san. Sorry, um…… I…… Mu: You shouldn’t just lock yourself in your room all day. You have to eat your food properly. Hm, well…… I do understand why you’re feeling down. It feels bad. The atmosphere recently Haruka: Um, I’m totally fine…… Just a bit, I’m thinking, about how to do it. What to do, what to do, to…… fulfil my promise. For Mu-san’s sake……

At that point the only thing left for him to do is figure out how to act all for Mu's sake of course.

[dailyadventureprompts]

Why I don’t Use the Great Wheel Cosmology

For those of you who might not know, “The Great Wheel” is a name given to the arrangement and relations of planes that’s provided for the “default” d&d setting, and is assumed to be going on in the background of 99% of all published d&d material. It arranges the planes in a looping sequence vaguely based off the alignment chart, with wordily embodiments of the most extreme forces of good, evil, law, and chaos existing at the cardinal points. Souls depart from the material plane and are drawn directly to whatever plane most aligned with their alignment, to either live on in an eternal state or to become outsiders of their particular domain.

Over the years that I’ve run this blog I’ve stated time and again my distaste for the great wheel cosmology, meting out my critiques in bits and pieces as they were relevant to whatever I happened to be writing about at the time. This has happened so much that I wanted to collect all my gripes in one place so I could link back on it instead of reexplaining myself each time. So without further ado, brace yourself for an opinionated nerd telling you his in depth opinions about something that absolutely does not matter: 

The whole point of a cosmology is to describe the natural order/structure of the universe, and the great wheel describes a universe that’s effectively just the christian dichotomy of heaven and hell with a few extra steps. It’s a fundamentally moral view of how the multiverse works, and makes “right” and “wrong” not only into objective facts, but a geography you can walk across, travelling from the most morally correct place to the most incorrect place with just a couple of protals. 

This system is painfully rigid, not only removing any nuance over whether a course of action is correct, but preventing any competing worldviews from even existing: you can’t have differing belief systems/schisms of faith when you can go out and see proof of the rightness of the great wheel. Much like with how d&d handles gods, this paradoxically removes the idea of “faith” from matters of worship, which to me removes the whole point of having gods in the first place, reducing the big questions around death into a moral assembly line with one of a select number of pre-determined outputs.

It’s no stretch to say that the great wheel is just the alignment chart canonized as a fundamental part of the game world, and while we’ve all grown past the fundimentally black and white morality of the alignment chat It still mystifies me that d&d uses the great wheel as a piece of worldbuilding upon which most campaigns are supposed to be set. 

This boggles my mind because d&d has a much better and simplier cosmology upon which campaigns can be set, one that makes no moral judgments and instead allows for the infinite creativity that the game is supposed to be all about. The astral sea is an infinite expanse of possibility, where worlds are spun together from thoughts and dreams paralleling the process of creation that goes into the act of storytelling itself. What better way to explain a multiverse that functions on narrative tropes more than it does physics? Where hope really can prevail against wickedness and rule of cool supersedes the dictates of fate.

To end with a couple of personal gripes, the great wheel is really kind of boring? As a selection of afterlives about half of them are idyllic natural landscapes with nothing really going on and the other half are unplesant caves/wastelands suffering some kind of fucked up weather event. Most of it is painfully eurocentric when it comes to visions of the afterlife, and those planes that DO stand out ( The crashing metal cubes of Acheron) are more weird for the sake of weird. 

I can’t help but focus in on how much the great wheel doubles down on the game’s weird hodgepodge of colonialist belief structures. While WOTC has hastily amended out “always chaotic evil” over the past couple years, they still set their material in a cosmology where creatures like orcs/goblins/gnolls are born evil, drawn to evil all their life, and are doomed to suffer eternally in various hells because “evil” is in their very nature. This isn’t good worldbuilding, it’s the authors seeking some kind of weird vindication for their own beliefs by creating a group of people they can feel morally justified in punishing, and we all know where that gets us.

[rottenpumpkin13]

I think CC had a huuuge problem with fleshing out Genesis and Angeal to be honest. I feel like the personalities they’ve been given by the fandom are mostly fanon and don’t have that much substantiation in canon because AG were both largely used as plot devices- which again I think is a big problem because it doesn’t make you feel or understand either of the characters or why they behave the way they do. By the end of CC I felt really bad for Sephiroth, was ambivalent toward Angeal but still felt a twinge of sadness because of how sad Zack was over him, and absolutely loathed Genesis. I’m still not Genesis’ biggest fan but the canon characterization has made him a bit more endearing, though when I go back to canon and see him I’m left disliking him all over again. Unless you really dig into CC lore you have no idea how Genesis felt about Sephiroth, it just comes off like he was always jealous of him and that the relationship was painfully one-sided with Sephiroth practically begging for his friendship. It doesn’t help that 80% of Genesis’ dialogue is Loveless quotes and the other 20% is him being angry and hateful. I guess it’s justified, but unlike with Sephiroth and Angeal you never see Genesis being anything but hateful. With the other two I found myself sympathizing and mourning the loss of the people they were prior to realizing the truth, but with Genesis I wished he’d just shut up and go away already. The training room scene also doesn’t help his case, because first it starts out with Genesis being cocky and wanting to take Sephiroth alone- despite Angeal’s warning- and then later on blasts his best friend in the face with a fire ball all while talking about being a hero. He purposefully escalates the fight, then when Sephiroth gets serious Genesis gets injured and crap really hits the fan- and all this could’ve been avoided if Genesis hadn’t had an inferiority complex the size of the moon. I also find it hard to excuse this whole sequence of events because this was prior to his degradation, and while it’s unclear whether it had started even before his injury, I’m going to say he was still mostly in his right state of mind and he still behaves like he has no care for his friends, even his childhood friend who was trying to keep the spar friendly and prevent it from turning into a fight to the death.

Sorry about the rant, but that other anon talking about Genesis also brought back my thoughts about him and I felt like sharing since I’ve never really written them out.

Canon vs fanon aside, there's a lot of context and nuance often lost when adapting Japanese dialogue to fit English contexts. My biggest gripe with the training room scene in english is how Genesis proclaims "The world needs a new hero" right before he fights Sephiroth, suggesting he wants to take Sephiroth's place/ be better than him. But then you look at translations like this one and that scene gains a whole new meaning. Genesis instead says "I too would like to become a hero." And rather than the cocky "That's no way to talk to a hero," before he blasts Angeal in the face with a fire ball, he states "All I want is to be a hero."

The training room scene is a lost cause, because it's easy to place the blame on any one of them, or on whoever decided to go in there that day, or even on the fight itself, but accidents happen. But in the end, no one is truly to blame because none of them asked for Jenova cells or to be part of the Jenova Project, and the truth is that if it hadn't been the training room incident, something else would have triggered the degradation, or the conflict as a whole, and they would have been doomed regardless.

And that's why Genesis is so angry, and why he's so desperate for the cure that he keeps reciting what (in his mind) is the answer to the cure. I guess the reason we never see him be anything but reactive to the situation he's in because when we're introduced to him, shit has already hit the fan. He's deserted already. The first scene we see in Crisis Core literally has Angeal answer the phone and get the news that Genesis left. The only crumb of pre-degradation Genesis we get is the training room scene which—as mentioned above—got mistranslated in English, so of course we're going to think Genesis was hot-headed and envious (which in all honesty he could've just as well have been).

It's easier to sympathize with Angeal and Sephiroth because everything that's happening is happening because Genesis revolted against Shinra, and I get that. But what makes me sympathize with Genesis (and this is coming from someone who used to hate him) is the degradation and his motives. He wants a cure. He wants to live, and it's hard to live when your body is working against you and literally degrading because of something completely out of your control. On top of that, the people after you, the organization you've always aspired to be a part of because of your childhood hero, your friends including that hero, are on the side of those who did this to you.

Don't know if this makes any sense because I'm literally trying not to fall asleep writing this out asfshsjska

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Top 5 movies set in the present and top 5 period films :)

Hi!!! I got this ask and forgot every movie I have ever loved (and will probably remember them all as soon as I hit post). It also reminded me painfully of how inadequate my cinephile culture is; there are so many classics that I'm almost certain I will love if I watch them and that would deserve the spotlight so much!

So let's make these lists about interesting movies that I think are good as movies, and not think much if they are truly The BestTM. I'm also omitting Austen and other adaptations I already talk too much about.

"Contemporary films" (set in the present is a complicated concept. I'm picking them as "the narrative happens sometime contemporary to the movie's original release date"):

5. Music & Lyrics (2007):

This is technically a romantic comedy, but its strength relies on its love for music, its humor about the music industry, and a take on 80s nostalgia that is neither surrendered idealization nor complete mockery. It's one of the few movies where I actually like Hugh Grant, and the score is so well done! My one gripe really is that I think the movie would have been so much better if the leads have remained platonic? Sometimes I like to pretend they did.

4. Dead Man Walking (1995):

This is one of those serious, controversial movies professors pick for university discussions, in this case, the one about the death penalty. The movie tries (and I believe succeeds) to address without "solving" or dismissing the relationship between our horror at heinous crimes, justice for the victims and their pain, and the value of all human lives. Susan Sarandon is as always majestic in this one.

3. National Treasure (2004):

Tumblr loves National Treasure, but I love it specifically because to me it somehow captures the thrill, the exotic mystery (without gross Orientalization!) AND the nonsense of a classic Jules Verne novel -and Verne was one of the staples of my childhood- in a way that no Verne movie adaptation I have ever watched manages to capture.

2. State of Play (2009):

This one is mostly an excuse to cheat, because while the movie is a very solid political thriller (you know, one of those "you might enjoy even if you are not a fan of the genre), the original British TV series it is adapting is better. And both have great casts (Russell Crowe is probably more solid than Cal Macaffrey on the same role, but David Morrissey does a much better job than Ben Affleck. So, it goes both ways, you see).

Hot Fuzz (2007):

I have heard this one being called "the most intelligent stupid comedy ever made", and honestly, fitting description. I have joked before about this being my comfort movie and how funny that is because it is the gory story of a police officer being kicked out of his beloved job and sent into a town where everyone mocks and gaslights him and then the back end of the movie is a non-stop action sequence... but, listen, it is funny, it is, somehow, heart warming, you can tell everyone is having a ball, the editing is amazing, the pacing is just right, so many set ups and they all pay off, the story is satisfying, the characters -specially the main lead- are likeable, and their arcs also satisfying.

Period films:

5. Oscar (1991):

This is a very silly comedy set in the 30s, adapted from a play and you can tell, but it is a riot, and in my opinion one of the best Stallone roles ever. It makes me wish he had done more comedies in this style. It also has the always charming Marisa Tomei and the always welcome Tim Curry.

4. The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain (1995)

Another instance of a movie where Hugh Grant does not annoy me, it's basically what says in the tin and the right kind of thing if you enjoy the typical British period drama of beautiful landscape, small town shenanigans and restrained romance.

3. The Mask of Zorro (1998):

Much of what I said about National Treasure applies here, except that it is not at all silly, and it has many moments of great pathos besides being a really good adventure/superhero movie.

2. To Walk Invisible (2016):

This is a biopic of the Brontë sisters, just covering their peak years of authorial activity, to trace a portrait of their personalities and life situation. While my knowledge of Bronteana is not super extensive, from the little I have read of them in general, plus Elizabeth Gaskell's The Life of Charlotte Brontë, I feel like this was carefully and lovingly done, without heavy editorializing or overdramatization (I'm staring at you, Emily (2022)), or pitting the sisters against each other. There's a scene of Emily reciting her poetry to Anne in the moors that just got me in the feels.

Master and Commander: the Far Side of the World (2003)

There are few genres I'm as disinterested in as war epics, and few movies I love as much as I love Master and Commander.

It was harmed by coming out the same year as The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, but it is, and what I'm going to say will sound blasphemous to some, the better movie of the two. It is a war epic, and a slice of life film. It's the story of a friendship between two very different men and the tensions their personalities and job at sea bring. The cast is top notch, down to child actors. Some of the production details are insane. They made rope specifically for this film because the way modern rope is turned doesn't fit well with old rigging techniques. The cast spent many days together at sea learning the basics of how to manage the ship and work in their ranks and the way sailors and officers would relate to each other. The immersion this all creates is also insane. The sound design was marvelous as well, and the score truly inspired (I want to kiss the person who picked Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis as one of the main features of a 2000s movie adapting a 20th century novel about the Napoleonic Wars, the same way 19th-20th century Ralph Vaughan Williams picked up a tune by a 16th century composer to do his thing, to establish this thematic connection between past and present and the ways we look at and make History).

If you watch only one movie on this list, watch this one. It's worth it.

Ask me my top5/top10 anything!

[dreamingofep]

Sinned Awakening pt. 12 🩸

An AU Elvis fic

(Vampire!Elvis/Vampire Austin!Elvis × reader)

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Request: No

Prompt: Getting promoted to be Elvis full time housekeeper, you realize the man holds secrets beyond belief and your undeniable attraction makes you fear the unknown. [Fem!Reader]

TW: Cussing, tension, angst, masturbation, mentions of blood/gore 🩸

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 8.8K

A/N: Hello everyone!

Welcome to part 12! I have been writing a ton for this part and hope you like where these two are going! I sure do 🤭

A reminder, this is Vampire!Elvis so there is going to be mentions of blood/gore from here on out. If that's not your thing, sorry but it's needed for the story.

If you'd like to start from the beginning, start here 🩸

I hope you enjoy and message and comment what you think!🖤

“I don’t want you here,” you say coldly. 

“I know, I just needed to see you were safe. I don’t like you in this apartment,” he grumbles. 

You shake your head and take in a sharp breath, “you have no right to say such things to me. You don’t own me.” You say forcefully. 

The expression on his face turns sorrowful and his stature looks weak, unable to fight you anymore. 

“You have every right to hate me…” he sighs. 

“Oh trust me, I am not very fond of you at all right now,” you griped. 

He looks down at the floor, unable to look at the hurt in your eyes, “I want to apologize for how I acted,” he begins to explain but there’s too much anger inside you to let him finish. 

“Oh, which part Elvis? Yelling at me and scaring me off or inviting a woman over to fuck while I’m still in the same room?!” You hiss. 

“I… I didn’t fuck her…” he says lightly. 

“Oh great, that makes it much better,” you throw back in his face. 

He winces at your words and takes a deep breath to try and talk again.

“I didn’t feed either… it felt wrong,” he says quietly. You were surprised by his admission, not expecting him to see your side at all. 

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did. It wasn’t right,” he explains. 

“Mhmm,” you agree. “But to make this all easier for you, I’m quitting today. I thought I’d put in my two weeks but the sooner the better. I need to get out of Vegas and start new. I have enough experience that somewhere else will want to hire me,” you say matter-of-factly.

“What? You’re leaving?! That’s not what I meant by not having you around. I don’t want you moving to a new city because of me,” he says surprised. 

“You’ll be back here in a few months for your summer engagement, I’m sure you can’t handle being in the same state as me by then,” you grumble. 

“Okay, if that’s what you decided…” he says quietly. 

“It is. I’ve made my mind up,” you say firmly. 

He looks at you longingly, unable to say anything else to make the situation better. 

You start to get out of bed, sickened by his face and the whole situation he’s put you in. 

“I really thought this could have worked out-,” you start to say and look back at him. But he’s already gone, not a trace of him left behind. 

You grumble in frustration to yourself, ticked off that any of this has happened. You decide to take a shower and get ready for the day. You were going to go in at six like everyone else and say your goodbyes. It was the best option for both of you. 

*

You’re all ready to go when you realize you can’t find your keys. You don’t remember the last place you put them but could swear they were in your purse. Searching high and low, you can’t find them anywhere. You get so frustrated that you were careless enough to lose them. The only other place they could have been misplaced was at Anna’s apartment. You rush to the telephone in the kitchen, hoping she is still at home and not at work already. 

You dial her number and the phone is dead silent. You try to hang up the phone and redial but it’s still dead. Rushing to the bedroom, you grab that phone and try to dial it. You have similar luck and the phone doesn’t work. Frustration grows inside you as you’re trying to make this all quick and painless by getting to work and quitting. You push the buttons on the phone and lift up the receiver to see if there are some reset instructions or something. As you go to pick it up, you see the phone line has been cut. 

Your eyes grow with shock and you have a feeling you know who did this. Your brain scrambles on what to do and decide to double-check inside your car for your keys and hope they’re there. 

Opening the door, you start to walk out to the parking lot and don’t see your car anywhere. You cry out in frustration, not believing what is happening. You can’t go anywhere and can’t call the cops about your stolen car either!

You turn around to go back inside to figure something out when you see one of Elvis’ men at your door, Jerry, standing statuesque there looking at you. You rush to him, anger fuming off of you. 

“Did he do this?! Did he steal my car?!” You yell at him. 

He smirks and shrugs his shoulders, “I mean… he orchestrated it all. That’s what he has us for, to do the job.” He says matter of factly. 

“So this was his grand plan?! To keep me held hostage at an apartment he doesn’t even want me to be in?”

“No. The next step was to convince you to get in the car to see him and not leave,” he says pointing to the car pulling up. 

You huff frustrated, not able to believe he was playing such an unfair game. 

“And if I don’t? What happens if I don’t get in that car,” you scowl. 

He chuckles amused at your words, looking down at his watch, “Well, Daniel should be getting home soon so you either stay here and deal with his intoxicated self and explain how you’re leaving him for good or you come with me to see Elvis,” he spats. 

Your heart drops at his words. He wasn’t wrong by any means and the last thing you wanted to do was talk to Daniel. But on the other hand, he was presenting you with two evils, neither ending in a good way. You had to choose who you wanted to face and figure out what you wanted. 

The sun was rising quickly and noticed how Jerry was shrouding away from the sunlight more and more waiting for your decision. You grumble, not wanting him to be hurt in any way and need him to get inside. 

“Get my suitcases in the bedroom.” You say shortly and head for the car waiting for you both. 

*

The car comes to a harsh halt in the back of the hotel and you wait for the driver to tell you it’s okay to get out. After a few moments, Jerry escorts you to an elevator you did not know was there before and it takes you straight to the penthouse. 

You feel physically sick being here and have no idea what else there is to say to Elvis. 

“Just listen to what he has to say,” Jerry whispers to you. 

“Why? After how he’s treated me, I don’t owe him anything,” you tell him. 

He sighs, nodding his head, “You’re right. I know he’s not easy to deal with. But give him a chance, he cares about you deeply, even if he has a really harsh way of showing it,” he says as the ding of the elevator goes off and the doors open. 

You roll your eyes at that sentiment and get out of the elevator, walking quickly to the suite’s doors. 

You take a deep breath before opening the door and prepare yourself for the unpredictable force that is Elvis. 

The suite is quiet, nothing out of place, and cold like usual. Your eyes nervously scan the room looking for him so you can get this over with. In the corner of your eye, you see a shadow move quickly. 

You snap your attention to it and see Elvis sitting on the sofa. 

You suck in a sharp breath seeing him there, looking divine in a black button up. His bare chest gleams underneath it and a gold cross is hanging from his neck. He’s sitting with his legs spread open and the same cane resting between them. Oh, lord, the awful things that cane did to you…

You wince out of that memory and look back at him. He has that familiar look of lust written on his face when he looks at you. Whether it’s blood lust or the sexual kind, you can’t decipher the difference anymore. Your heart hammers away, anxiety filling your veins as you stand there with him silent. 

He cocks his head in amusement watching you there, probably enjoying the sound of your fluttering heart in his presence. You don’t want to stand there anymore and be looked at like some object. 

“You stole my car?” You say through your teeth. 

His face doesn’t waiver, he just keeps looking you over, inspecting every detail. 

“Why don’t you sit down,” he instructs, his smooth and sultry voice filling your ears. 

“No, I don’t plan on being in here very long,” you spat. 

He sighs, bringing his hand to his forehead and looking at the floor. 

“I just need to talk to you. I wish you could give me a chance,” he explains

“I’ve given you lots of chances. I’ve given you the benefit of the doubt time and time again but you just break my trust every time. I don’t know how much more I can give you,” you say bluntly. 

Your words hit him like a brick, he looks like he’s physically hurt from what you’ve said. He won’t look at you as you wait for him to say something. 

“Everything you’ve said is true. I won’t deny that. I just… I couldn’t have you leave before talking to you… that’s why your car was… borrowed,” he smirks. You roll your eyes, annoyed he finds this so amusing. 

“And my phone? What was the purpose of that?!” You scowl. 

“I’m sorry. I couldn’t have you do anything drastic before talking to me.”

“I do something drastic?! And stealing my car and cutting my phone lines was a normal response to me wanting to start my life over?” 

You’re so fed up with his behavior, it was selfish and controlling and you didn’t want him being like this. 

“I know, that was a bit much but I knew you weren’t going to listen. I just want you to get out of that apartment and get somewhere safe. Please, stay with me. I worry about you and it would make me happy knowing that you’re somewhere safe.” He tries to explain. 

As much as you knew you needed to get out of that place, staying with Elvis wasn’t a better situation necessarily. 

“You want me here? With a bloodthirsty vampire? Or should I say, stay with a whole clan of bloodthirsty vampires,” you say pointing to the door of where his men are standing. 

“They have better control than me surprisingly. And they would never hurt you. So don’t worry about them,” he says. 

“So just worry about you?” You say flatly. 

He winces again, your words cutting through him like knives. 

“That’s the thing, I don’t want you to worry anymore. I hate putting that strain on you.” He slowly gets up, walking closer to you. 

“I want you to trust me again. Without hesitation. I want to touch you again and have you like it. Just like the very first time,” he sighs, reaching out to touch your face but restrains himself. 

“You’ve lied to me, a lot. You have to understand how that messes me up. Most of the men in my life, that’s all they do with me is lie. I want it to be different with you,” you explain. 

“And it can be different honey. I promise I can make you happy,” he assures, taking a few more steps towards you, getting dangerously close. 

You take a step back from him, feeling overwhelmed by his presence already. 

“It’s not just about that Elvis. Your little games you play, they can’t be happening with me. I’m not just some pawn on your chessboard. You have to make me believe you care. That I’m not just another girl you’re stringing along if what you say is true of how you feel about me.”

“All my life, men have constantly pushed me aside and made me some commodity. I’m done with that. I’m thirty now and I know I deserve better. Much better. You have to prove to me you can do better than the rest of them,” you plead. 

You didn’t feel you were being unreasonable. Those were your conditions. If he wanted you to stick around, he had to prove in more than one way he was committed to you. 

You wait expectingly for him to answer you, seeing if he is willing to really change. He takes a few more steps toward you, falling to his knees in front of you. He places his hands on the back of your thighs, looking up at you longingly. His hands feel like wildfire on your skin, trying to consume any logical thought and let the sparks of lust you have for him overtake your body. You peel his hands off of you even though you love the way they feel on you. 

“No touching me, you said you wouldn’t. Tell me what you’re going to do with your words and not your hands,” you say firmly. 

He sits back on his heels, looking at you with a pout and his eyes begging for your approval. 

“Baby, please… I’m going to show you, time and time again, how important you are to me. How much I care about you and how much I need you,” he confesses. “I want you to want me again, not only emotionally but physically too. Please stay, I need you, baby,” he breathed. 

Everything inside you screams to touch him, comfort him in some way, but you can’t allow yourself to submit to him like that. He has to prove all of what he said. You know he was a smooth talker and he would say just about anything to win you over. He was a pro at his own game. 

“Okay. I’ll give you a chance and stay for a while,” you reply. He lets out a sigh of relief and smiles at you. “But you have to give me privacy. No watching me sleep or any other things you do without me knowing.” You insinuate. He looks like he got caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar and is about to protest but you cut him off. 

“No arguments. Promise me,” you say. 

“I promise. I just worry about you and need to make sure you’re okay,” he says sheepishly. 

“Well unless I scream or something, I don’t need to be watched twenty-four-seven,” you say.

You know he doesn’t like it, but he nods his head in agreement, “Okay baby,” he says weakly.

You step away from him and grab your suitcase that was left at the front door. You start to drag it away, passing the normal guest room you’ve stayed in before.

“Where are you goin’?” He asks panicked.

“I wanted to stay in another room. This place is so big I might as well explore,” you say cheekily.

He stands up nervously and his eyes grow concerned, “But you’re so far away from me…” he says softly.

You smile at him cutely, “That’s exactly the point,” you say winking at him before walking off to the other side of the suite.

*

You unpack your things and conflicting emotions come flooding in. On the one hand, you were happy you were gone from that apartment and you wouldn’t have to deal with Daniel, but on the other hand, your future with Elvis made you quite apprehensive.

There was no guarantee that Elvis would gain enough control to be around you where he didn’t want to eat you alive. This was all so tricky. You had to be patient with him and really help him with this process.

Another uncertain aspect of this all was what was going to happen when he left Vegas. In previous years, he usually went on tour right after his Vegas engagements and won’t be back here til the summer. Did you want him gone that long? Were you two in a more serious relationship where you could ask him what’s going to happen when he leaves? It almost feels counterproductive to have him learn all this self-control and then have him fall into his bad habits as soon as he leaves this place.

You couldn’t help but be mad at yourself for thinking such things. You wish you could just cut this thing off with Elvis but it literally feels impossible. He means too much to you even if he isn’t human anymore. Your heart needed him around and that scared you to pieces.

As you’re unpacking, you stumble across your bathing suit. It wasn’t blazing hot outside but you needed some sun. You thought this might help you get some clarity and enjoy the fresh air. You take off your clothes and slip on the bathing suit. You grab a blanket off the bed to bring with you in case you get chilly.

It was eleven and there shouldn’t be too many people by the pool at this time. You go to the elevator and make your way outside. There’s a perfect spot where the sun is hitting and once you feel the sunshine on you, it melts your worries away. 

You lay there for about an hour when you suddenly feel a shadow over you. You open your eyes and see Anna smirking at you. 

“Well it must be nice to be able to sit out by the pool on a working day,” she teases. You giggle at her and sit up to make room for her to sit down on the sun chair. 

“Hey now. I deserve a little break. These last few days have been... rough to say the least.” You say awkwardly. 

She nods her head in agreement, “No, you’re completely right. I’m sorry. I had to come by to see you. I was cleaning one of the rooms up there and I looked out the window and saw this hot babe sunbathing and was like wait… that’s my best friend!” She giggles. You cover your face embarrassed, but thankful she always knows what to say to cheer you up. 

“Yeah it’s just me, contemplating my life as usual,” you jest. 

“What’s been going on?” She asks gently. 

You take a deep breath and take off your sunglasses to look at Anna. 

“Well… Elvis is complicated, just need to preface that before I explain,” you start to say. Anna starts laughing, “Yeah, I could have told you that based on how he dresses!” She teases. 

You push her shoulder and laugh a bit too hard. 

“Stop it! I’m trying to tell you something serious!” You chuckle. 

“Okay, I’m listening I’m sorry,” she says covering her mouth. 

“Okay, so to briefly explain, Elvis called me up to the penthouse to basically fire me. He told me he didn’t want me around and I was pretty crushed. Then I got to the apartment to pack up everything and he showed up saying he couldn’t get away from me. And well, now I’m here, staying with him for the time being,” you say carefully. She looks at you in shock, not believing the things you just said. 

“Wait what?! You’re going to stay with him even though he said he doesn’t want you here?” 

“It’s more complicated than that and there’s something I can’t delve into…” you confess. 

She nods her head, not liking the answer but respects your space. 

“That’s… a lot. This is all happening so quickly. Have you two talked about what you’re going to do once he leaves?” 

Your stomach drops at the notion, unable to think about when he does leave, where does that leave you in his life?

“I don’t know yet… we do need to talk about it. In a way, I do just want to enjoy the next few weeks with him but I know reality is going to come knocking and I can’t play pretend anymore.”

Behind Anna, you notice someone coming in your direction. It was Jerry again, wincing when he stepped into the sunlight. He doesn’t look at you straight away and stands in front of the lounge chair looking away. 

“What’s going on? How did you know I was out here?” You ask him. He gives you a look like you should know better. 

“You should know by now. But Elvis is requesting you to come to dinner with him this evening at five-thirty before his show tonight.” He says. 

You look at him for a moment and look back at Anna who’s in shock. 

He then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash that makes your eyes shoot wide open. 

“And he told you to treat yourself. Get your nails done or go buy yourself a dress if you want,” he says handing you the money. You don’t know what to do with so much money and can’t possibly spend it all in one day!

“Okay, tell him I’ll be there,” you say sheepishly. 

He turns to leave quickly, getting out of the sun that is surely burning him. 

You look back at Anna and look at her in shock. 

“You want to go shopping with me?” She nods her head quickly and you both rush back into the hotel. 

Anna convinced you to make it a whole day to pamper yourself like Elvis wanted. You started with trying on dresses and you must have tried on a million. You knew Elvis always dressed to the nines and you wanted to do the same. But you were too picky and nothing felt right. Everything felt too informal or too over the top. There has to be a perfect middle ground for this dinner. 

You had to admit, this was a nice gesture coming from Elvis. Having dinner with a vampire was never on your list of things to do but here you are. It did show you he was a bit serious when it came to showing you how much he cared for you. You don’t remember the last time you went to a nice dinner with a man. 

After going to store after store, you finally found the dress for the evening. You decided on a mid-length, midnight blue cocktail dress. It was embellished with some sequins at the waist and was flowy, making each movement you made dazzling. 

The next stop of the day was getting your nails done. You decided on a simple French tip and a shorter length. Anna convinced you to get your hair and makeup done too. You had plenty of money to do it and thought it might not be such a bad idea. You found a well-known beauty salon nearby and had her cut and curl your hair into loose waves. You kept your makeup simple and wanted a shimmery eye shadow to make the whole look pop. 

You walked out of there feeling like a new woman. It was so nice to do and you were so thankful Elvis was so generous to you.

Maybe he does have a working heart somewhere in there. 

 It was almost five and you knew you needed to make it back to the hotel to be on time for dinner. Anna says goodbye to you and wishes you good luck at dinner. 

You quickly make your way upstairs and get changed. Being fully dressed with your hair and makeup done, you look at yourself in the mirror almost unable to recognize yourself. Sad to admit, but you stopped caring for yourself in a way. You had no one that cared for how you looked so you never went out of your way to do your makeup or curl your hair to get them to notice. The only time you have was for Elvis’ party and that says a lot. 

It was getting close for you to leave so you decide to slip your heels on and make your way into the living room where you hope Elvis is waiting for you. The marble floors make your heels click louder than you like and make your heart race in anticipation to see what Elvis thinks of your dress. Part of you was insecure, not used to looking like this around anyone, and lacking confidence in yourself. 

You turn the corner and you have to hold your breath, he looks irresistible. He was wearing a black velvet suit with nothing underneath his jacket and a red and blue silk scarf hanging from his neck. He wore his gold cross and TCB necklace and his fingers were adorned with various gold shiny rings. He looks so attractive so mouth-wateringly good, if the situation was different, you would say fuck dinner, and have him screw you instead. 

But you know he’s not ready for that and you most definitely weren’t either. As much as you wanted to, it scared you a bit to be that close to him and not worry that he was not going to hurt you. That was a huge amount of trust he needed to earn in order to do that again.

Your eyes continue to wander all over him and you can’t seem to tear them away from his face. He looks a little different. Was it his hair? The last few times you saw him, it had been ruffled and unkempt. It does look shorter and it was more slicked back but still fluffy. His sideburns were also shorter and well-trimmed. You weren’t sure, but if you weren’t mistaken, he looked younger. Not that drastically but there was a different glow about him.

And then it hit you. You realize what he is trying to do. He’s trying to lure you in. Tempt you.

He didn’t need to do that at all since you were already so attracted to him but you must say, this look has you feeling weak already. He stood there with a different confidence. Like the one he had when he first came to Vegas. It was almost cocky and pompous but he smiles and you see that it's all a facade. 

He was wearing his sunglasses but when you continue to stand there not saying a word, he takes them off to look at you. Your cheeks instantly turn red, knowing you are the object of his desire. He takes a few steps closer and a smirk forms on his face.

“Don’t you look… stunning,” he sighs, continuing to look you over. “Can you turn for me?” He asks, moving to the side of you.

You’re hesitant, showered by self-doubt but his pleading eyes make it hard for you to say no.

You slowly turn on the ball of your foot, letting your arms peel away from your sides so the dress moves when you do. You’re too afraid to look back at him and you close your eyes once you’re about to turn to face him. You hear him chuckle to himself and you don’t dare to look at him.

“Open those beautiful eyes darlin’,” he says, his smooth baritone voice pouring over you like syrup. You listen and look into his dazzling oceanic eyes, pulling you in with every bat of his long eyelashes.

“You look so gorgeous,” he praises, taking a smaller step closer to you. You look down at the floor momentarily then back up at him, not believing your eyes of how much he’s changed in a matter of hours.

“And you… you didn’t need to change for me to want you,” you say sheepishly.

He bites his lip, shaking his head at you, “I know, I just wanted to. I need people to think I’m not stuck as a twenty-four-year-old remember,” he says coyly, giving you a wink that just about makes you want to collapse.

“Are you ready to go?” He asks.

“Sure, where are we going?” 

“One of the best restaurants in Las Vegas,” he smirks at you before opening the door. You walk out into the hallway and feel a dozen eyes bore into you, looking at every inch of exposed skin. You instantly get nervous and behind you, you hear a deep growl form in Elvis' chest that makes all the men look away and just about scares the living daylights out of you. You look back at him in bewilderment and he walks in front of you, pushing the elevator button with a smile on his face. 

 “Sorry about that honey, I live with a bunch of animals I swear,” he jokes as the elevator doors open and he gestures for you to come inside. 

He gives you space but being in such a small confine, his presence is nevertheless suffocating. You feel like you’re holding your breath the whole way down and he looks like he’s doing the same. You finally reach the lobby and there’s already one of his men outside the elevator doors to escort you two to the car waiting outside. Elvis lets you walk in front, making sure no one is following and you’re in his eyesight. In the valet area, there stood Elvis’ 1971 Stutz Blackhawk. The car was stunning and unlike anything you had ever seen. The interior was also all black with dark wood on the dashboard. Elvis helps you get in the passenger seat and shuts the door for you. A few people spot him and scream his name and he kindly waves to them before getting into the driver’s side of the car. He glances over at you, looking down at your legs, the back up to your face, “You ready to go?” He asks smugly.

“Mhmm, I’m ready,” you say.

“Okay hold on tight, I drive fast,” he teases, turning the key to start the car. You laugh at him and feel the jolt of the car accelerating and the sound of the tires screeching on the pavement. You hold onto the door handle and watch as you both zoom by all the other cars and weave in and out of traffic. You’ve never driven in a car going so fast and it petrifies you but at the same time, you can’t help but laugh uncontrollably. 

He had a big smile on his face the entire time, probably knowing this would scare you but be fun to do anyway. You watched his face, showing how much he loved this and how he almost looked childlike. Just pure happiness radiated off of him and it made you like to see that side of him for a change.

He parks in the back of the restaurant where the valet is and hands the man the keys and a twenty-dollar bill. He quickly, almost too quickly, rushes to open your door and help you get out, offering his hand out for you to grab onto. You hesitate to touch him, unsure if it’s right, but you do anyway and get out of the car much easier. He shuts the door behind you and drops your hand, placing his hand on your lower back, and escorting you into the restaurant.

You both reach the host stand and the girl’s face lights up when she sees Elvis. It doesn’t bother you, you completely understand her reaction because you had a very similar one when you saw him in this suit. She takes you two back to an exclusive area where it was completely empty and sectioned off by glass doors from the rest of the restaurant. There was only one large table in the room and two chairs at opposite ends of the table. Elvis thanks the girl for her help and she quickly leaves, closing the door behind her and shutting the drapes that were on the outside of the doors.

The room was low-lit and was decorated beautifully. There were pictures of Las Vegas from the 50s and the first hotels ever built. It was interesting to you how this desolate place in the desert grew to become one of the most liveliest places on the planet. There were glasses of red wine on the table already and the menu sitting on top of your rolled napkin and plate.

Elvis helps you sit down and pushes your chair in then goes to sit on the other end of the table. You both are abnormally quiet. The circumstances of your situation are complex and there wasn’t a playbook on how to make a vampire not want to go in a frenzy around you. He looks at you from across the table and then back down at the menu.

Were you making him nervous? Maybe you have more power than you think, you think smugly to yourself.

A waiter comes in and asks if we would like any appetizers. Elvis gently tells him we need a few more moments to look at the menu. The waiter steps outside and leaves you two to wallow in the thick silence you two have created. You watch as Elvis continues to look at the menu, seriously contemplating what he is going to order.

“What are you doing exactly? Can you eat?” You ask carefully.

He chuckles, amused by your candor, “If you mean can I chew my meal, then yes, yes I can. I haven’t forgotten how to do that yet,” he teases. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep you from smiling like an idiot. 

“Ah, I see… does food taste the same?” You ask.

“Hmm… no. It’s all very bland. I wish I could enjoy it the way I used to. Now I just eat food when I need to put on an act and make everyone believe I’m perfectly normal. Then excuse myself to the bathroom, which is a very human thing to do, and just chuck it all up” he winks at you. You cover your face from laughing and look at him shaking your head.

“Sounds like you’re a pro at being human and stuff,” you snicker.

He can’t help but laugh at you, “In a sense, yes. But it's ultimately because my body doesn’t process food anymore so it's the only way to do it. It's only able to take in blood as nourishment…” he says uncomfortably.

You nod your head and keep looking at the menu. The waiter comes back and you both order your entrees. You decided to order a steak and mashed potatoes and Elvis ordered the same. There was an undeniable awkwardness in the air and you didn’t know how to break in. In a way, Elvis had a lot of work to do and he was the one that needed to make extra effort, not you. You sip on your wine and watch as he does the same. His eyes never leave you as he takes a sip from the dark red cabernet in his glass. You watch as he licks his lips after drinking and smooths his hair back on the sides.

You have to look away, he gives off too much tension and you feel as though you’re going to choke on it. You hear him get up from his chair and drag it behind him, bringing it to the side of you and sitting down there. 

“You were too far away,” he says coyly. You scoff to yourself, not believing that you of all people can make a vampire turn into a pile of mush.

“You look so beautiful tonight, I’m in awe of you,” he marvels.

“Well, thank you for taking me out. And thank you for letting me go out and get pampered. It was very nice. I can’t remember the last time I ever did that for myself,” you explain.

“You deserve it, I thought you might enjoy a day to yourself. You really outdid yourself with the dress. It was just made for you,” he boasts, his eyes falling drunk at the sight of you. You breathe in sharply, trying to not get overwhelmed by him.

“You look very nice yourself. Would have never thought you’re a vampire with how much black you own,” you tease. He laughs at your little joke taking another sip of wine.

“It’s a good color on me don’t lie,” he quips.

He was right, it made him look extra tempting and mysterious and his pale features and his blue eyes popped when he wore any black clothing. You drink some more of your wine too and the waiter comes in to fill your glasses again. You weren’t normally a wine drinker but tonight was an exception, just like every other night you spent with Elvis.

“What’s your favorite color on me?” You ask slyly, shooting your eyebrows up at him waiting for his response. He smugly laughs to himself, rubbing the rim of the wine glass with his index finger, making you get very distracted by those small little motions around the rim.

“I don’t think you want my response to that,” he jests.

“No, no, come on. You told me you wouldn’t lie anymore. Just tell me,” you urge.

He smirks at the glass then looks back up at you, “I prefer you naked and covered in me. But this shade of blue you have on is my next favorite thing,” he boasts.

You stare at him in utter shock, unable to form any logical thoughts other than what just came out of his mouth with such ease. You cover your mouth and look down into your lap, completely shell-shocked at him.

“Goddamn that was… very honest. I’m not quite sure what to do with that information now,” you blush. He chuckles again and you drink some more of your wine to let the awkwardness pass.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m really not. It was the first thing that came to my mind and it’s the truth so…” he teases. You are already such a mess because of him but you know that’s what he wants. He wants to distract you from the bigger issues you two are facing. But you’re not going to let him get away with it. You still need to get answers from him and get him to have some control.

“Well thank you for telling me the truth then, no matter how lewd it might be,” you taunt.

“I’m an open book, I’ll tell you anything you want to know,” he assures.

Your food arrives and it smells heavenly. Your glass is once again filled and you know you need to take it easy or you’re going to be drunk very soon. You take a bite of your mashed potatoes and continue to deal with this topic of honesty with Elvis.

“Okay, when was the last time you fed,” you say bluntly. He clears his throat and wipes his mouth with his napkin. He looks at you and takes a deep breath before speaking.

“Yesterday. I drank from a blood bag before I went to your apartment.” He says, shame filling his voice.

“Oh, I see. And how do you feel around me since then…” you ask softly.

He smiles at you and takes a bite of food before answering you.

“I feel fine. I do feel better when I’m close to you. Your scent calms me in a way… I don’t know how else to describe it. But I don’t want to take a bite out of your or anything,” he quips.

You take a few more bites and try to not let any of what he says freak you out too much. You asked him for the truth and that’s what he is going to give you. 

You sit back in your chair, bringing your wine glass to your chest, “why did you say that drinking my blood has made you only crave mine? Was that something hurtful to say to me to drive me away or was that the truth?”

“As harsh as it was, and I’m sorry for that, it’s the truth. Nothing is quite as fulfilling as yours. I feel significantly stronger and energetic…” he trails off a bit insecure talking about this.

“Why? Why is it like that with mine? Have you felt like this with anyone else’s?” You question.

“I’m trying to find answers but so far I don’t know. I want to go talk to other vampires in the area and see if they’ve heard about things like this and see where we can go from here… I have a suspicion it’s because I have… feelings for you. But there isn’t a definite answer that I can find so I’m sorry, but I don’t know,” he says sorrowfully.

You nod your head and understand he’s trying and it’s not like he doesn’t want to try to figure out what’s going on with you two. There was sure to be a weird, supernatural explanation that you were most likely not going to handle well. Your heart fluttered a bit when he admitted he had feelings for you. It was nice to hear coming from his lips. And as much as he’s lied to you, you couldn’t help but agree that you had some intense feelings for him too.

Another notion popped into your head about this all and you hesitated to even ask it. You didn’t want to tick him off and you’re hoping he won’t get mad at you for asking.

“If you don’t want to answer this, it's fine but, you were married for a while… didn’t you ever have these same feelings with her?” You ask gently, sipping on your wine and wincing at the question at hand.

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head, “no. No I didn’t. She actually never knew I was a vampire,” he says smugly.

You choke on your wine and you look at him in shock.

“What?! How did you not tell her?!” You sputtered.

“I did. I told her multiple times but she would freak out every time so I just made her forget to make both of our lives easier. There was this one time I told her and she didn’t talk to me for days. She thought I was a complete monster and wouldn’t look at me, so I’d make her forget I ever told her and everything was okay. But I’d…umm,” he stops, looking at you uncomfortably.

“Go on,” you urge.

“I’d feed on her. All the time. I was not the best husband, to say the least…but that’s why it didn’t work out… and she couldn’t accept me for who I was so that’s how I knew I couldn’t be with her anymore.” He shrugs.

You stare at him in shock, not believing that he did all of that.

“Holy shit… you just lied to her for years and fed off of her with no repercussions?” You ask.

“Yeah, again, I was not great and I did feel bad. Basically making her my feeding bag for years on end… I do have a moral compass still even if you don’t think so,” he teases you. You laugh at him, giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I know you do, I don’t think you’re a monster,” you say softly. He smiles at you, liking how you remind him of that.

“Thank you, honey, I know you don’t. I’m trying to prove that to you more and more and prove it to myself. Because I know what we have, what we feel for each other is something more,” he reaches for your hand and stops himself, looking at you for approval. You hesitate and set your wine glass back on the table.

You push your chair back and clear your throat, “I’m going to go to the restroom. I’ll be right back,” you say smiling at him. He nods his head at you and you begin to stand up. But the moment you stand, the room feels like it's spinning.

Goddamn it.

You take a deep breath and pray to God Elvis won’t notice how intoxicated you are. You walk slowly out to the main area of the restaurant and manage to find the bathroom with ease. You wash your hands and look at yourself in the mirror and see your face a bit flushed and your eyes glassy. You sigh and laugh at yourself, not believing you really got drunk sipping on expensive wine while Elvis tells you stories of his past. You wipe off your remaining lipstick and comb through your hair with your fingers. You give yourself one last look in the mirror and make your way back to Elvis.

You open the door to the back section you’re sitting at and carefully sit in your chair. You don’t want to look at him and hope he doesn’t notice anything different about you.

You take another sip of wine and he chuckles to himself.

“Baby?” He asks in between his airy laughs.

“Hmm?” You say nonchalantly.

“Are you... drunk?” He asks.

You look at him and nod your head, “Mhmm… maybe a little,” you slur and giggle.

He bursts out in laughter and leans back in his chair, “My, my, what am I going to do with you? I’m going to have to carry you home hmm?” He teases.

“No, no I’m fine,” you protest, “I can walk.”

The waiter comes by again and brings you two dessert and you have never eaten a piece of cheesecake so fast in your life. It tasted so good and Elvis watches you giggle to yourself as you take the last few sips of wine left in your glass.

“What’s going on in that head of yours hmm?” He asks cheekily.

“Nothing… I just can’t believe you ate a whole meal with me to try and impress me.” You giggle.

He looks at you longingly, smirking as he watches you giggle to yourself. “It was worth it honey. Let's get you back okay?” You agree and you both make your way out of the restaurant.

*

Elvis doesn’t drive as fast on the way back…well, at least you don’t think he did. The entire drive felt like a blur and you were in your own world as he drove back to the hotel. He helps you get out of the car as you clumsily stumble out of it, grasping onto his jacket for support. He is amused by it all and escorts you upstairs. You both get into the elevator and the jolt of the cart makes you almost fall over, holding onto Elvis’ scarf for support once again. He holds you up from underneath your arms and settles you there.

“Oops…s-sorry,” you slur. 

“It’s okay baby, I gotcha,” he hums.

You reach the penthouse and he supports you by having an arm around your waist, guiding you in a straight line to the suite’s doors.

Once you get in the living room, you kick off your heels and start to make your way to your bedroom.

“Darlin’?” Elvis’ voice stops you in your tracks and you turn around.

“Hmm?"

 “I have to do my show in half an hour, are you going to be okay up here by yourself?” He asks.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be fiiiiiinnneeee,” you insisted.

He covers his face from laughing at you and you start to turn away again. The cool marble floor felt nice on your feet since you felt uncharacteristically hot. You reach behind you to try and unzip your dress but with the lack of functioning motor skills, you can't reach the zipper.

“Elvis!” You say loudly. You turn around and see him coming toward you with an inquisitive look on his face.

“What is it, baby?” He says gently.

“Can you help me get out of my dress?” You ask shyly.

His eyes look drunkenly over your body and he walks slowly toward you.

Everything about him was screaming at you to touch him. His exposed chest was driving you crazier than usual and the way those pants fit him just right in all the right places was killing you. Your heart began to race the closer he got to you until he stopped right in front of you, looking down at your pleading eyes.

“Turn around,” he commands.

You feel your heart hammer away as you slowly turn around and pull your hair to the side to expose the dress’ zipper.

He’s extremely careful, pulling gently on the zipper and exposing your bare back to him. You hear him take a sharp breath in as more skin gets shown. He reaches the end of the zipper and a peek of your panties gets shown to him. You wore black lace ones that you had no intention of showing Elvis, but you knew he liked you in this kind so it wasn’t easy for him to just ignore this sight. You feel his thumb graze the small of your back, sliding down to where your panties were and back up again. He lets go of the zipper and you turn around to face him, clutching the dress to your chest with your arms. He clears his throat, his chest visibly rising and falling quickly.

“There you go,” he says quietly. 

You step even closer to him, your chests almost touching, “thank you,” you sigh.

You let your arms reach up to grab his scarf, letting the dress fall like a puddle at your feet.

He takes another sharp breath, trying not to look at your body.

“Thank you for everything,” you whisper, looking up at him and seeing how distractingly gorgeous he is.

“Of course,” he says softly.

A brazen flood of intense emotions hit you and the raging desire to have his lips on yours floods your mind. You feel like you can’t focus on anything else other than those lips and need them now.

“Can I give you a good luck kiss for tonight’s shows?” You ask, pushing your body on his and feeling the fire ignite. He grunts when he feels your body touch his and his eyebrows furrow.

“If that’s what you want, then yes,” he says breathlessly.

You pull at his scarf harder, trying to get him to reach down to kiss you. You tangle your fingers in his hair and feel the flames of both of your desires consume the kiss. It felt like a lifetime since the last time he kissed you. There’s so much pent-up tension between you two that a kiss feels like heaven. You give him another one and a small moan slips out of your mouth. It all feels too good to hide and his hands find your back and he groans into your mouth when his skin feels yours.

But he instantly pulls his hands away and slowly retracts from your kiss. You watch as his chest heaves and his eyes burn into yours with lust.

“Thank you, baby.” He sighs.

You nod your head and watch as his eyes finally look at your body. You can’t help but do the same and glance down at the erection forming in his pants. You quickly look back up at his face and try to not blush.

“I’ll see you after my shows,” he assures.

You step out of your dress and walk toward your bedroom again, feeling his eyes stare at your backside. You close your door gently and let out a huge breath. That went way too far and by the feel of it, your racing heart rate shows the impact he left on you. You decide to put on some different clothes to lounge in til Elvis’ lively after-party starts. You go to sit on the bed and feel that familiar sticky wetness in your panties. You slip your hand into them and find the mess Elvis created. You sigh, hating that he gets you this way so easily. You actually loved it though, loved his hands on you and set your heart on fire. You know he can probably hear everything you’re doing in here and should control yourself. At this point you don’t care, you were way too drunk to care and you wanted to take care of this. You were wound up more than you thought because once your fingers find your clit, you have to stifle a moan. It doesn’t take long when you see Elvis’ long fingers in your mind that make you want to come apart. You put more pressure on your aching bud and stars flood your eyes and you cover your mouth from any moans escaping. You knew he was listening, wishing he was in here making you come apart but he was keeping his promise. He was doing everything in his power to be the one who finally listens.

Tagging 🖤:

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